#my therapist said it's fine and understandable that im scared etc. etc.
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actual-changeling · 1 year ago
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bunnihearted · 21 days ago
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˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐
#ok .. the appt wasnt as bad as i feared. and the therapist wasnt at all as i had imagined#he was actually one of the more easy ones within the psychiatric dept i've talked to#it was still a bit uncomfortable for me to open up esp when i got certain feelings...#but... what actually was good is that when i did that he pushed just a tiny bit and remarked on it and asked my further#(which works bc he also accepted when i just didnt know what to say or didnt wanna talk abt smth)#it took 2hrs omg.. but felt like 20 minutes.#i could notice that he actually is specialized on personality disorders lol. like he actually got what i said etc (which most havent)#so yeah. not as bad as i feared at all. he was quite good to talk with. this appt didnt feel at all as bad as i thought it would#but ofc he couldnt decide immediately if they'll take me on as a patient. bc they gotta have the required team meeting and discuss etc etc#he did say that he thinks my personality disorder is definitely causing me issues and that even if they dont take me on as a patient i#still need help. so that's just nice to hear#even if bc of cutbacks and such i know that the chances of me actually getting help are slim :(#IF i do tho i wont squander it#anyway it's just nice now bc i was SO tense and stressed and scared but it went absolutely fine#and now i'll just wait until they get back to me. and i dont have any expectations or hopes that they'll accept me as a patient.#so if they dont - as i expected. if they do - nice surprise and actually a real chance for me to get help#for today i feel ok about it phew#i cant help but be anxious abt how at the end he asked me for feedback akskskskks and i was like umm i dunno...#bc it's difficult for me to talk abt a person to that person T-T#but really i wanted to saythat i thought it was really good that he sometimes asked me if he understood smth i said correctly#and explained how he interpreted smth i said. & when i was like oh idk how to explain it idk if this makes sense. he would tell me if he#didnt understand exactly but know where i was going w it etc etc. which honestly most of the therapists i've talked to have not done that#so ughh now im like.. he's one of the few ones who does that i want him to know thats a good thing why didnt i say this T-T noooooo. regret.#oh well....
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welcome-to-green-hills · 4 years ago
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(ProSpoil) I have a confession: I’m scared of the idea that I may be LQBTQ+. I’m not scared of not being accepted - I’m scared of me not accepting myself. I’ve been seeing every little thing as I sign I might become trans, especially the resurgence of my strange mermaid interest. In fact, I’m scared me confessing to you is a sign ! Mystery, if you have any advice, I’m not looking for “it’ll be fine if you are LGBTQ+”; I’m looking for a way to forget my anxiety.
I’m very, very proud of you for admitting what’s in your heart. You have no idea how proud I am of you for admitting what you think and feel.
Really, I am. I am so incredibly proud of you.
ProSpoil, it is perfectly okay if you don’t accept yourself right away. I might not have had the same experience as you, but I know what it’s like to take time to accept myself. It is perfectly okay to take some time to allow yourself to embrace who you are inside. I’ve always said that you are the one in control of yourself, you know yourself better than anyone. The glorious thing here is that you get the honor of being you--no one can take that away from you. Also know that you are always allowed all of the time that you need in the world to embrace and love yourself fully. It will take time, absolutely, but I promise you that it’s okay to take all of the time that you need in the world to accept yourself. 
Now, I did take a couple of days to write this because I wanted to make sure that I had all of the information needed to assure you that it’s okay. (There’s this great blog called @itgetsbetterproject that I recommend checking out on Tumblr, I reference their material any time I use it for my anthropology studies with great people. I also recommend their pamphlets HERE to research some more to help on transgender identity and their website HERE to browse at your leisure).
Take a deep breath, then say what feels right in the heart.
Try some pronouns out.
Think about how it makes you feel once you say it.
Ask if it makes you comfortable using she/her, they/them, fae/faer, Xe/Xem, etc.
Maybe ask a personal friend of yours to address you in terms of what feels right to you.
Seek out a therapist that specifically works with LGBTQAI+ individuals as well and see if they can help provide some further information as well about gender identity as well! 
Always know that you do not need to stick to one binary forever, it’s perfectly okay to have it change over time. Only you know what’s right in your heart, mind, and soul. It’s okay to listen to it.
I do want to leave you with one more thing: I reached out to some of my friends about gender identity and asked for advice. I can only provide so much information on this subject since I am not transgender, which is why I reached out for some help and share their experiences with you. @poptartsaysurloved is a very wonderful friend of mine and a very wise dude. I spoke to him about gender identity and acceptance as well, he had some words of encouragement to give you:
“Well it is okay to take time to figure stuff out! I mean, i didnt fully realize im a boy until last year (for context, im a sophomore in college). People always say that rome wasnt built in a day. And plants dont grow instantly either. I realize youre not rome or a plant, but why hold yourself to a different standard? Take some time to figure things out. Take deep breaths. Everything happens in due time.
“*boogies* hopefully thats okay.
“oh heck also! its important to surround yourself with people who will lift you up rather than tear you down. aaaaaaaa sorry i just remembered that.”
Time works in your favor here. Move at your own pace, ProSpoil. You don’t need to have the answers right away, and that’s okay. Take all of the time that you need in the world. Know that you are accepted here. I can understand feeling anxious of this concept--it’s a huge realization that can change your life. It’s important to surround yourself with those that want to encourage you to explore more of yourself. It’s important to know that you are Becoming. I encourage you to listen to your heart and your mind, and know that no matter what you choose we have your back here.❤️✨
Stay safe for me, okay?
You matter!
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andonutty · 4 years ago
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a fool’s guide to coping w bpd
ok so for the record im NOT a mental health professional, im just... someone with bpd who’s coping and thought i’d share my tips. i think making a post like this will a) reach more people, and b) help my friends more than me just offering advice when they come to me for help. bpd affects everyone differently, and i can’t claim to totally understand the struggles of everyone who has it, but if you’re struggling right now and you just don’t know what to do or where to go, i gotchu fam. so without further ado... a step-by-step guide for coping with bpd
tw for mentions of emotional manipulation, self-harm, and suicide. none of it is in-depth, but i figured i’d warn anyway.
1) decide that you want to cope in a healthier way.
this seems kinda strange as a first step, but to me it really is the most important step. living with bpd all my life and being in therapy since i was 10 taught me a lot about willingness. saying “i want to be healthier” sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s actually really difficult. you have to sit yourself down and ask yourself: do i really want to fundamentally change the way i think about situations, about myself, and about other people? am i willing to work on this, even though it’s hard? and am i willing to give up on the unhealthy coping mechanisms i’ve been clinging onto?
i’m being totally genuine here: it took me years to get to the point where i could say: yeah, i really, really want to stop emotionally manipulating people to get what i want. i’m so sick of basing my self-worth on what other people say and do. i’m so scared that i am my bpd, and that there’s nothing else inside me; i don’t want it to be that way anymore. i want to have healthy and fulfilling relationships with other people. i want people to stop being afraid of me. i want to love myself. i really and truly do. and only when you come to that (awful, gut-wrenching) revelation can you actually start helping yourself. if you’re not at that point, that’s totally fine. i had to go through a hell of a lot to get there, and i understand not everyone is there. i wish everyone who can’t make this decision yet the best, but i really don’t think this post will be the miracle cure you’re hoping for. you can still read it for sure! i’m just saying that this first step was an extremely necessary one for me, and the next steps get a lot easier once you make this decision.
okay, so you’ve come to the realization that you really, really want to learn some new coping mechanisms. where do you start?
2) look into dbt (dialectical behaviour therapy).
ok. i’ve been going through dbt for a while, and i swear to god, it’s good. dbt was made for people with bpd, and it’s different from cbt in that the skills aren’t just cognitive. there are four sections of dbt skills: mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. it may seem overwhelming, but all these skills are very practical and don’t just focus on “hey you’re thinking this? stop it.“ if you have access to a counsellor or therapist, ask them about dbt. if you don’t have access, try to find some stuff you can work on online. i did a quick search and found three sites (one, two, three).
if you have a therapist or counsellor that you can talk to about this, feel free to skip the rest of this section (or read it so you can surprise your therapist with your knowledge). for those of you who don’t have someone to guide you through this, i’m aware all these skills seem incredibly daunting. my recommendations for beginner skills are the following:
PLEASE skill, or reducing vulnerability to emotions (under emotion regulation)
nonjudgmental stance (under mindfulness)
stop, tip, distraction, or improve skills (under distress tolerance)
dear man or myths about interpersonal effectiveness (under interpersonal effectiveness)
reducing emotion vulnerability was the first skill i started working on. when i was first diagnosed with bpd, i was working at a restaurant without any meal breaks. i’d have meltdowns at work and after work, and it took this skill for me to realize that i needed to pack a snack or eat right after getting off my shift, because i was most vulnerable to my emotions when i was hungry or tired. when you understand how food, sleep, exercise, mood-altering substances, etc. all play into how vulnerable you are to your emotions, you can start thinking more clearly about situations and you can start coping ahead to reduce that vulnerability ahead of time. you’d be surprised how much this one helps.
nonjudgmental stance is probably one of the most helpful skills i learned. one of my therapists put it this way: if bpd is an allergy, then invalidation is the allergen. meaning: the thing that’s going to irritate your bpd and trigger problem behaviours is invalidation of emotions. it’s shame, and judgment. everyone judges themselves (which isn’t really healthy, but it is a part of our societal structure), but for us? that shit hurted. i can’t count the amount of times that i’ve been crying and then thought something like “god, you’re just so pathetic“ and started crying even harder. our impulsive behaviour and the decisions we regret almost always stem from a core feeling of being invalidated. remember that time that you were talking about your feelings to someone and they seemed dismissive, so you decided you hated them with every fiber of your being? yep, me too. that’s us reacting to invalidation. in general, we don’t really validate ourselves. quite the opposite! most of the time, we tear ourselves down and expect others to fill that void for us. (a lot of people do this, but it’s really problematic for us in particular because of our generally self-destructive behaviour.) so learning to be compassionate with ourselves is a really important step to take. if you like meditations, look up loving kindness and self-compassion meditations. rain is also a really good meditation to do, but i think it can be really painful to do when you’re just starting out. i’ve linked it at the bottom if you want to check them out, but try not to overload yourself! just stick to one you really like.
stop, tip, distract, and improve are all really good skills to start out with because they’re skills you use for when your skills run out. if you find yourself really struggling with crisis situations a lot, these are good to start out with. they’re specifically meant to calm you down, to get your emotions and adrenaline to a manageable level. if you struggle a lot with engaging in problem behaviour under stress, this one is golden. i used to struggle a lot with substance abuse, and these skills were lifesavers. instead of going right for the substance, i’d use stop. i’d distract myself for a while, surf the urge until the wave of emotion passes. then i could use skills like please by getting something to eat, or dear man by addressing the interpersonal problem with a level head. and on that note...
dear man / myths about interpersonal effectiveness, which is a great skill if your main problem is about asking for help or establishing boundaries. i used to have a lot of problems about asking for things properly (hence my habit of emotionally manipulating others to get what i wanted or needed), because i felt that if someone said no to me, i wouldn’t be able to handle it. or that people would hate me if i asked for things, or that i should be able to handle things on my own. in a way, it felt easier to rely on making others feel bad for not doing more for me rather than to ask outright. these myths are hard to unlearn, but it’s a good place to start if your main trigger is about boundaries or asking for help.
ok, so you’ve started working on a skill. a skill. don’t burn yourself out here, it’s okay (and more productive) to just focus on one instead of trying to change yourself overnight. and on that note...
3) be kind. remember change won’t happen overnight, and keep going.
this one is difficult, because... like, it’s not gonna be easy. i remember i used to have meltdowns and think, “no. i’m tired of being skillful. i’m tired of being the bigger person. i’m sick of this.” and that’s why the first step is so important, because you’re going to need that resolve to say, “hey, i haven’t engaged in my problem behaviour for so long. let’s not start now. i know it’s frustrating, i know it’s so easy to go back to what we know, and at the same time, i want to be better. i know i can be better.”
and even if you do engage in that problematic behaviour again (which, let’s face it, you probably will, because no one is perfect and everyone messes up, and that’s 100% okay), you need to remember this and be compassionate with yourself. everyone messes up. everyone says things they don’t mean to. everyone does things that they regret. everyone falls into old patterns from time to time. what’s important here is to stop beating yourself up over it and start doing something different. if you went back to self-harm, if you started calling up everyone you know and threatening to kill yourself, whatever it is — don’t conflate yourself with the behaviour. instead, take ownership of it. make amends with those you hurt instead of running away or self-sabotaging, think about what happened and try to make sure it doesn’t happen again. slip-ups happen to everyone. literally everyone. so please try not to be hard on yourself if it happens. be disciplined, but not harsh. i promise, beating yourself up over mistakes is only going to hurt you and everyone around you.
conclusion
if you’ve read this far, thank you so much for doing so. i know that when you’re in the thick of it, it’s so hard to imagine yourself having a future, to imagine that you can make friends, keep people around, be anything but the sum total of your perceived failures. but you can. it’s difficult, believe me, it’s difficult, but it’s possible. and i believe you can do it. and trust me, there’s no way you’re going to disappoint me, no matter how much you feel like you’ve fucked up. if you can, just try it out, and i’ll be cheering you along every step of the way.
more resources, if you’d like them:
in general, this site is pretty good for handouts. and again, here are the three sites i linked above (one, two, three) that i found through a cursory search. 
also, look into unhelpful thinking styles if you want. this is the worksheet i have, and it’s genuinely really useful. i keep it in my workbook and look at it to remind myself of when i’m unintentionally using them.
russ harris, who talks a lot about living a fulfilling life. here are some videos of his that i really like (internal struggles, the choice point, the struggle switch).
jon kabat-zinn and mbsr (mindfulness-based stress reduction). seriously if you’re into mindfulness this guy is so good. 9 attitudes in particular is a video i personally really like.
the aforementioned rain meditation, by tara brach. this one is all about learning what you need and providing it for yourself. it’s part of the larger loving kindness and self-compassion umbrella.
kristen neff has a website with self-compassion exercises, as well as books and such that she’s published. if she’s not your style, search up loving kindness or self-compassion meditations and i’m sure you’ll find other people that you might vibe with more.
i know brené brown deadass exploded in popularity a while back, but there’s a reason she did. all of her stuff about shame is incredible. here are two of her ted talks that hit different for me personally (listening to shame, the power of vulnerability)
also, if you can... maybe invest in a dbt skills workbook. i use the actual marsha linehan dbt skills training book, which can be a little complicated, but it works for me because my therapist is there to explain it. i’ve heard good things about the dbt skills workbook by matthew mckay, but i’ve never used it personally so i can’t attest to how comprehensive it is. if you can go to like, an actual bookstore and flip through the pages, that’d be ideal. but since we’re in a pandemic, idk how feasible that is. i’m not really a self-help book kind of person, but i’d recommend authors like pema chödrön, brené brown, kristen neff, and russ harris (and jon kabat-zinn? does he publish books? if he does then i rec them). if you’re in a post-secondary institution, try checking your school’s library! i’ve found a few books there. also, public libraries tend to have some of these books too. so if you don’t have the money to actually go out and buy these books, i’d suggest borrowing books from libraries and photocopying the pages.
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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago
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Hi! Ive seen u r taking adhd meds. I wanted to ask what kind of effect do they have on u? I thought about asking my therapist if i could get some meds (even tho i dont think there r meds for adhd in my country) or to ask if i can have them sent to me from germany but im scared of the effect they would have on me. Ive read stuff and ppl r like its just mild meth lmao so idk
I’d always be careful about checking who is saying things like that before taking them at face value, because in my experience, people who view them as being basically just mild meth are people who aren’t prescribed it because they don’t need it, or who are exceeding their prescribed dosages, etc. 
Like yeah, ADHD meds are pretty much all stimulants, and so they all carry the potential to make people react in the ways they do to meth and make you agitated, paranoid, up without needing or wanting to sleep, etc....but like....that’s what stimulants do. They stimulate. But the reason a stimulant works as an ADHD medication is that some of us NEED external stimulation to various parts of our brain to jumpstart us or keep our brains producing various chemicals. 
But because of that I can’t recommend anything for you other than to work with a licensed psychiatrist to find out if there’s a medication that might be helpful to you....and just as importantly, to figure out the right dosage, and to monitor you and your progress as you try various dosages while looking for the right one.
For me, my meds basically do what I said in that other post.....they stimulate the parts of my brain that manufacture the chemicals that allow me to focus and stay on track....because without my meds, those chemicals just aren’t being made and thus I’m all over the place, 24/7.
Of course, its equally important to note that in my case, I have a lot more going on aside from just ADHD, and so my meds have to work in combination with other meds so that the meds for one condition don’t exacerbate my other conditions. I also have clinical depression, PTSD and C-PTSD, anxiety stuff and minor OCD tendencies....so I take medication for those things too, and its really important in my case to keep things in balance. I have a super fast metabolism, so a lot of medications wear off really quickly....but there’s only so high I can go dosage wise on various meds like my ADHD stimulants, or so often I can take them, because if I take too much or take them too often, I’ll just end up intensifying my anxiety and hyper-vigilance and other stuff past the point of what my meds for those things can handle and regulate. 
Things like nutrition and exercise can be really helpful and effective with a lot of this stuff too, and in my case, often more helpful than meds themselves - like, I used to be pretty consistent about exercising and being in the gym, and it wasn’t actually because I was ever trying to lose weight or gain muscle per se, its just....daily exercise did a lot to regulate my brain chemistry and various other mental health related stuff, so it didn’t MATTER as much that my metabolism also reduced my medication’s effectiveness. Course, downside there is when I physically couldn’t exercise cuz of medical/health stuff for the past couple years, I’m all out of whack and there’s only so much medication can do about that, since I used to do all that stuff to fill in the gaps where my medication wasn’t as effective. You have nooooo idea how much I can’t wait to get back to going to the gym once my medical stuff and surgery is all finally done and behind me, lol. I will feel so much better and more in balance.
But yeah - point is, your brain is a very finely tuned instrument, and its unique to every individual, so there’s only so much advice any one can give you on this stuff beyond just.....look into whatever mental health practitioners and options you can find around you, or look up licensed ones you can ask online for advice, and just work with them to find what works best for you. There’s no one size fits all with any of this stuff. Like, there’s a medication called Paxcil that’s hugely helpful in treating a lot of peoples’ anxiety and depression issues, and when my doctor tried switching me to it, I had literal nightly panic attacks for a week and had to be switched to something else really quick, because for whatever reason that particular med just does not work for me and just makes things worse. 
*Shrugs* There’s so much we still don’t understand about the brain and how it works, BUT the flip side of that is there is a lot we can to do moderate and regulate it at this point. Its always a delicate process though, and one that should be undertaken carefully and with supervision. I don’t want to scare you away from looking into various medications, just stress that they absolutely can be hugely beneficial.....but just taking someone else’s word for it and what it did for THEM says absolutely nothing about what it might do for YOU, and so I will always caution people to not go with the internet’s verdict on any of this stuff....find an actual psychiatrist and go about this process the way they recommend for you specifically.
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fucking-hydra · 5 years ago
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im just being bitter and rambling, u can ignore me
“the blocklist is bc they reblog our stuff, if they stayed in their lane that’d be one thing!”
i have never fucking strayed from my lane over here?? but i was on the blocklist?? so What Is The Truth
(when someone mentioned there’s minors and CSA survivors in this community) “but half aren’t!!”
who fucking cares, you’re going to ruthlessly persecute everyone then? scare and demean and insult trauma survivors in the process?? seriously what is your fucking deal. i’m reminded of ppl that say “we gotta get rid of immigrants because SOME of them are bad!” yeah and what’s ur fucking point, brad??
“get therapy!!!!!! disgusting!!!!!! bad coping mechanism!!! bleh!!!”
well i’m in goddamn therapy, deborah, and when i told my therapist i was writing/reading trauma related shit, she said “well, you’re at a point where we’re working on exposure therapy, so yeah, that’s fine. i’d be worried if you didn’t have the coping mechanisms and stable baseline to handle it, but you’ve been stable lately, so sure, write and read it.”
this is the same therapist who calls me on all my bad coping mechanisms, so i think i’m gonna trust my fucking therapist and not you.
“but it’s gross!”
yeah, and so is what happened to me, a real fucking person, but you seem more concerned about the fictional characters i’m writing about than me, the person who experienced it in real life. but cool.
“just get a journal!”
that doesn’t actually work for me for a lot of reasons (i feel too much like i’m talking to myself and i get self conscious and overthink it, it’s hard for me to focus on things when it feels meaningless/like i’m putting it in a vacuum, etc), and i like sharing my work bc it A) gives other ppl like me something to read, B) i enjoy getting feedback, and C) i like finding like minded folks.
“i don’t wanna see it!”
understandable. then please feel free to block me. but for the love of everything i’d appreciate if you didn’t call me (and us) shitty names on the blocklists you make, or if you didn’t attack us on anon or whatever. i’m all for you doing what’s best for your health, but you don’t have to dehumanize us in the process. i’m traumatized, i’m not a fucking “demon”
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a-singing-carebear · 5 years ago
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Coming out-honestly
*Fair warning - it came out (pun intended) very very lengthy, you really don't have to read it, it’s just a mess-salad.
I decided to wait until the last day of pride  (kinda, i won’t have the computer in the next couple of days so it’s now on the 28th and not the actually 30th) rather than on the first or some random day.
Last year i posted on Pride Month a short post about my sexaluy-just stating for those who didn’t know that i'm homoromantic (/ace lesbian / whatever) and happy pride...
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A few weeks (or days) after i deleted that post.
I was scared, it was the first time i ever came out in a social/"public" place, and i know that a lot of other people who are closeted outside of the net find places like tumblr or twitter as a safe place.
But i panicked and the fact that an ex-friend (yes that a word i’m using) is following me didn't help. (even though i'm pretty sure she hasn't touched her account in years...)
I’ve known i'm queer for a while. Actually i was raised in a very heteronormative environment, (and in a pretty lonely and closed childhood, so i wasn't aware of a l o t of things) until i was 12 i didn't even knew what the LGBTQ+ community was (other than hearing people use "homo" as a curse word or an insult).
When i found out it was just like "oh cool". Then realised that i was falling in love with my best friend, what started everything. I started looking back and realising things that i thought were just me being too young, a late bloomer or just not interested in all of that. The thought process-maybe i’m bi-i think im bi-no lesbian-oh asexal is a thing- Until i finally understand myself completely. (Maybe one day i will make a post about that)
Almost two years ago i finally fully came out to myself (as weird as it sounds) as asexual homoromanrtic. I was desperate to find the correct label and explain it to others. I felt like i couldn't just be “queer”, that no one will take it seriously or believe it without a clear specific tag(\label).  (i’m not that much into labels, they can help and make you feel comfortable but why can’t i just say:
“i don’t think i have sexual attraction to anyone, i don’t want a sexaul relationship, i like girls, i want a girlfriend, and hey maybe there will be a guy someday that i will want to be with, in like a 2% present if even but still” .
(found this post a few days ago, it made me happy, like it was waiting just for me to read it, so thank you - https://atalana.tumblr.com/post/184952782507)
Now i’m almost 19, and knew for the past 7 years that i'm not straight, but it was really hard for me to be out to someone else. What if they will not accept me? What if they will hate me? What if it will make things awkward and uncomfortable? What if they'll tell me i’m wrong? (It has come to a point that i feel more comfortable coming out to people at my base (military) then my closest friends)...
I always said to myself that when i will have a girlfriend, this will be how i would come out - "...this is my girlfriend..."  But it’s so much harder, still single, been single all my life, i don't really know how the whole “asking out” thing works (especially with my self-doubt, anxiety, being an introvert, and of course my sexaulty- first i need to find a girl that i like than for her to be wlw then for her to want me and then for her to be fine with me being also ace.
Switching things up a bit, let's talk about Pride Parade. For almost three years now (maybe more) I wanted to attend Pride. but combining: closeted, social anxiety, not loving very big crowds and being alone (like not having anyone to go with), and you can kinda see why i haven’t even though i do want.  i can celebrate in my own way for now, looking at gay stuff in tumblr, re-reading the events of Stonewall ,listening to The Prom or Ben Platt’s “Sing to Me Instead”, watching Steven Universe, rewatching Love, Simon, making some(bad) queer art for myself etc.
For some reason it's really really hard for my to celebrate pride...cause i’m alone(feel alone at least). And i'm really terrified of being out. Even at home, even a simple thing like putting a flag or commenting gay stuff...
"Cause no matter what, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying, cause what if the world doesn't like you." [-Love, Simon]
It’s all i want to do, to come out. I’m happy to be a part of the community, In silence and alone i embrace myself and everything… but, my feelings are so complicated.
"I feel like I’m stuck on a ferris wheel. One minute I’m on top of the world, then the next I’m at rock-bottom." [-Love, Simon]
I want be be proud, but It's just... For example, last week i was talking to someone and told her a story with two girls getting married, which ended in a big discussion with me defending and explaining the community, and finding out she's pretty homophobic. Then she asked me "wait are you a lesbian?"
"Ya, what of it?" That's what i wanted to say. i panicked, just froze and didn't answer her. And i know what you're going to say "we do understand, you just found out she's homophobic". It's more than that, i'm not sure if i would have acted differently if she wasn't...
It's so hard to be closeted, especially when your trying so hard to keep it that way (for some damn reason). I don't think there something wrong with me because i’m lgbtq+. i just think i couldn't handle the types of rejection/denial that i could receive.
Being in the closet is hard, growing up changing the pronouns in love songs, having nothing to say in "boys talk" etc. My little personal bubble is colorful (like a soap bubble in the sun), it's just so hard to me to show it. I need the courage, the self-confidence and the safeness of my surrounding, i just don't have them…
[This is what i love about people from the community wearing pride colors, it helps. it gives me hope and validness, it’s makes me so happy, i don’t feel that alone. it’s like holding a big sigh “hey i’m queer too, you’re accepted & safe!”]
Here, My closest friends for example, we’re friends for almost 5 years now, but i haven't told them. at all. I know they will accept me. But it can affect our relationships so much. I hope it doesn't... It's like a bandaid, i just need to rip it off, but it will hurt. Like opening Pandora's box, who know what will come out.
I’m out to my younger brother, but he doesn't like that i talk about it too often.  I told my previous therapist. I came out to a new friend of mine, and then(of other reasons)a few weeks after we stopped being friends. My mother kinda know but not really. Two weeks ago i came out to a good friend of mine (but that i know only 4 month), and the only reason i felt comfortable telling him was because i knew he moves away in a couple of weeks (so even if it will be a disaster, i wouldn't have to see him again).
That's it.
So I was wondering for a while lately why didn't i already came out yet to any of my close friends? To my family?  Yes, we already realise that it’s because i'm scared of what will happen,
I think i get another reason why, Because what if i’m wrong? What if it will change? What if i am just a late bloomer? If it’s false? Or what if i tell someone for example that i’m homoromantic and down the line i will find out i’m actually biromantic or vice versa or just a lesbian...
The amounts of anxiety i’m dealing with on a daily basis in every aspect of my life and my low, non existent self-esteem, make me qustion evey single time my sexualty. 
Even when i’m already out to myself and know what i like, there's this voice keep telling me that maybe i’m wrong. I’m fine with just being queer, with not using a specific labels (and i’m fine with). But it feels like the others, the society around me, need those tags. It can't end with “i was in love with that girl” or “i want a girlfriend”, and furthermore, a lot of pepole have no idea about asexalty. so telling them that i’m also ace or that i’m homoromantic will be completed...
Don’t get me wrong, i know who i am, what i like, i’ve known for a long time. But i also know that it’s a spectrum and its flexible, it just, like i said, I don’t think anyone will except/believe me if my "tags" would "change".
Then i realised. It’s ok... Even if i’m not totally sure, even if it could change, it’s an exploration, an experience. And most importantly- it matters, it’s real. whoever i am, now it’s real and i have to be more confident with myself (and not to let my already existing tons of self-doubt affect how i accept my own sexualy).
So “i’m gay, gay means Happy”.
Happy Pride! LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE
Sorry for the huge, huge, enormous post. Thank you so much for listening, if you stayed until now (and coungration!) Just hope i don't regret it and delete this too…
Still not sure what to do… If you have any advices for me (or something else to say) i would love to hear.
Sorry again for the length, mess and probably grammar mistakes. I really needed to get it out there.
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bugie78 · 7 years ago
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Hey! Just a quick response (knowing me, it will probably get a bit longer anyway, but well...) to your post regarding self-diagnosis because there's something I wanted to add – another reason why I absolutely agree with you. I'm not in university yet, but I've spent the last four years absorbing everything I could find about psychology in general. One of the first things I learned regarding mental illness: You cannot accurately observe yourself. You're biased. (1)
Anonymous said Just like the people you are dear to. And of course, even the best therapist/psychiatrist isn't immune to prejudice. However, they are trained to deal with that and they'll still have an easier time "objectively" (as far as that's possible) looking at possible symptoms than anyone with a personal relationship to you (including yourself). (2)
Anonymous said:That doesn't mean you or the people around you can't suspect you suffer from condition x. Otherwise, how would you know you need to go see a doctor? But that's what it should remain until you can get a pro-diagnosis: a suspicion. And you should treat it as such. (3)
Anonymous said:Regarding the community and resources thing: If you don't have the opportunity to get a pro-diagnosis, that's totally alright. What stops you from beginning your research/looking for resources & people with similar experiences on suspicion alone? For example: I highly suspect I have or at least had a mild form of depression. (And there've been times when I've been so much worse.) It runs in my family and a few of my relatives've got professional diagnoses. Still, I don't tell/never told (4)
Anonymous said: people I suffer from clinical depression because: no official diagnosis. When talking about it to someone, I usually narrow it down to symptoms I experience or to a simple "I think I might've (had) depression". To go further would be to discredit official diagnoses & the severeness of the disorder. And, let's be honest: It hasn't stopped me from recovering. It's been a long, long way, but I've learned to manage what I perceive as symptoms of depression. By learning about it. (5)
Anonymous said: By talking to people with similar experiences. By getting to know myself better, etc. At this point, I don't feel the need to get an official diagnosis anymore. Whatever I have/had, I can live with it just fine now. So, self-diagnosis (as in: being "sure" without checking with a professional) really isn't a requirement for getting into a community or whatever. (6)
Anonymous said: God, I need to go now, haha. This has already turned out way longer than anticipated... and I could still say so, so much about this. One last thing, though: There's another reason why a trained professional's perspective is important when it comes to diagnoses. Not just because of the bias-thing. As a layman, it's easy to get the wrong idea about a condition, to not understand something correctly or see things where there are none. Say, you strongly believe you have x – then it's possible (7)
Anonymous said you overinterpret stuff to suit your image of yourself. Or even develop symptoms you didn't show before. Of course, that's not always the case. There's definitely people out there who've self-diagnosed correctly. But it's not as rare as one would want it to be. What it burns down to: Professionals make mistakes as well, but FEWER and they usually have a deeper understanding of an illness. That's their job. But well, that's the main things I wanted to point out (in addition to your rambling.) (8)
......
I AM SO GLAD YOU AGREE WITH ME ANON CAUSE HONESTLY I WAS A BIT SCARED WHEN I GOT THIS MANY ASKS FROM YOU BUT SO GLAD IT WAS AGREEING AND NOT DISAGREEING. wHAT A RELIEF. 
I know right! You make some excellent points! People who self diagnose and then refuse to go see a doctor and just put a label on themselves are the ones that bug me the most. I know a lot aren’t like this. BUT there are people who I have seen who are like this. Some people say “well some of us don’t have the time, energey or desire to go see a doctor” And I am like  no if you really suspect you might have something you will make time, and have the desire to go see a doctor. 
I remember my doctor told me once that a kid came in, and his mom demanded that he give the child meds because he has ADHD... but my doctor knew better and knew that the kid certantly didn’t have it. So he refused which somehow pissed off the mom... like wouldn’t you be happy your child doesn’t need to rely on meds to keep focus... 
And I saw ppl put in their blog “im self diagnosed autism” and it just doesn’t work that way. Self diagnose Autism isn’t a thing... being just diagnosed with Autism is.. if your self diagnosed and then go and tell ppl that you have it, it’s just like putting a label on yourself... which being autistic or having asperger’s is wayyy more then just having a special interest and not being able to make friends. Hell, I have many friends and I have Asperger’s. And they all know I have it. Even my boyfriend knows and he accepts it. I have a hard time knowning how to socialize with others but I really do try my hardest.. probally why I am better at this is cause I gotten group therapy to help me on this. And if I just self diagnosed myself, then I wouldn’t be able to get group therapy...but since I had a legit diagnoses done I was able to get group therapy which helped me a lot. 
So yeah sorry ranting again but thank you so much for agreeing with me! 
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maetaurus · 7 years ago
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Doctor Appointment #1
so i went to the doctor today to start antidepressants. i talked to my counselor about it a few months ago but then didnt act on it. but these last few weeks have been pretty bad so i finally called and made an appointment. i know that getting help either by going to therapy or starting meds can be scary and intimidating. so i want to share my experiences in the hopes that it’ll someday help at least one person. 
so when i got called back by a nurse i was weighed which i always hate but she was nice and she wasnt judgy or anything. then we went to the exam room and she checked my blood pressure and my pulse and clarified all the medical info she had for me. then she asked me why i was there, which im assuming she probably knew already since i had to tell them when i made my appointment but she probably had to ask. so i told her that i wanted to start antidepressants and she basically just asked if i have any allergies to meds or if ive taken any antidepressants before and how long ive felt depressed. then we did some more basic info like me asking for the flu shot and her giving me a consent form for it. so all that with the nurse was fine and it was just generic info.
then the doctor came in and ive seen her once before earlier this year so i knew she was nice and i wasnt too worried. again we started off with some generic info like going over what the nurse did and stuff. this time the generic stuff was much shorter and then we got to the real reason why i was there. she asked me the same basic questions at first then got more in depth. she asked me how long id felt this way, if id ever thought about hurting myself or others, if i had a good support system, etc. she also asked me what i enjoy doing and i said youtube and crafty stuff. and she was super nice and said that i need to hold onto those things, even if its something small. but that every little thing i enjoy is important. i just really liked that she said that. she also asked how my depression feels, like if it feels like i dont wanna get out of bed and i dont enjoy doing anything, or if im sad or angry all the time, or all of the above. 
wed pretty much gotten the question part over with now and she just talked me through everything. she said that the medicine wont start to take effect for a couple weeks but even then itll take 4-6 weeks till i reach like the max effect this drug will have on me. she reminded me that there are lots of kinds of antidepressants and some might not work for me and thats okay and if this one doesnt then we can just try another. i think she did a really good job explaining how its gonna make me feel, which i appreciate. i know theres a big stigma around meds and how they change you or whatever, which btw isnt true, but she knew that too and made sure to explain it to me that the meds wont change me or my personality but its just gonna help stabilize my mood. 
so she put me on Citalopram which is like the generic name for Celexa. i’ll be starting off with 10mg a day for 6 days then i’ll move up to 20mg a day. i have a follow up appointment with her a couple days after ill finish this prescription and i dont have any refills for it. i think im going to reschedule my appointment for the day i finish this bottle so that i wont go even one day without taking it since id be able to get the next prescription that day.
i was pretty scared going into this. i was worried she would ask me what happened to make me depressed and it would get super personal but that didnt happen. she asked me generic questions that told her how i was feeling but we never got into too specific of details about why. she even gave me a long list of local therapists that her other patients have had success with so ill be checking those out. she was super nice and i felt comfortable and in control the whole time. she didnt ask any questions that were too personal and she made sure i was well informed.
i know that not everyone will have as good of an experience as i did and that the policy is probably different depending on where you live but this is just my own personal experience. i know that im incredibly lucky to have a doctor who is so understanding and well informed on what depression really feels like.
ill be continuing this like mini blog series i guess you could call it. hopefully itll be really short and this medicine will work for me but i know that it might not and thats okay. im going to tag all of these posts the same way so if you find it at all triggering then please blacklist it. i want to share my experiences to help others, not hurt them. also if you have any questions then you can message me. you can go on anon if you want it to be anonymous or if you want it to be private then use the messenger thing or just say so in your message. im open to talking about my experiences so dont be afraid to just ask me anything. 
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alwaysabeautifullife · 8 years ago
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(Abuse, ableism tw) Yesterday I visited a preschool Portia's therapists and the public education system want to put her in. Portia receives services because of her developmental disabilities. It's a program that's a part of public education and even infants can qualify. Before yesterday, it seemed her therapists only concern was making sure she was developmentally up to date physically, and educationally (think fine and gross motor skills, speech etc). The preschool was-my realization. The preschool was full of kids that had various disabilities all on the "socially disabled" spectrum. Children were given directions in a "fun" manner around a circle and were literally forced to participle. Even if you didn't want to. Physical redirection was used. That means children not looking at the teacher would had their heads physically turned towards them. Children who weren't doing the arm movements for the dance correctly had their wrists grabbed and were forced to do the movements. Forced high fives. Forced everything. Absolutely no child had a choice for participation. It was do it or someone will grab your body and do it for you. One child, a nonverbal autistic child, at the table where they were given instructions to glue hearts on a valentines box, had a stick of glue held in front of him by a therapist. She had a hold of his wrists as he kept reaching for it. "What is it. No. What is it." She repeated over and over as he whimpered and reached for the glue to participate. This went on for about 15 minutes. He also endured one on one ABA from the teacher using a reward only method (praise) for following instructions and making eye contact. A child had a tantrum and was held down. I asked how a child having a melt down was usually handled. They said that it depended on the child. She seemed to avoid my question but told me that she had "lotion" that she would have them rub on their hands in front of the class and called it "calming lotion." I saw a child being held tightly in a therapists legs for not crossing his legs and bouncing them. I asked what the purpose of the class was, my therapist explained this class was meant for "social therapy", by forced participation. This program is paid for and supported by the education district. Never mind that restraining a child, forcing a child to do something, allowing an adult access to a children's body with no choice for the child, and forced socialization and physical contact (forced high fives as an example) are all inappropriate and I would personally define that as abuse. But what's important is all of this therapy is not scientifically to be successful. It's...non effective, it does nothing but create children who believe they must follow orders (for participation, social activity etc) by an adult, allow anyone to touch their body with no ability to say no, and allow to be physically redirected by that adult for not meeting the demand. In what way is this educating children socially? How come in a regular classroom this is abuse but in a class with a bunch of disabled kids it's therapeutic? I'm just...I'm really irritated and disappointed that stuff like this is funded by the education system. Im not sure if I should even mention this. But when you are an abused child initially you fight back. Sometimes that fighting back lasts a week, sometimes months, sometimes years. Eventually you reach this point where you stop fighting and your brain shuts down and you go blank, almost like you separate from your body and don't reject it. Sometimes something twitches inside from time to time to fight back, but you actually end up fighting the urge to defend yourself rather than stopping the abuse. That's the look I saw on the kids faces. They were made to hold up dolls with happy faces "I'm happy today" because they are being conditioned to just ACCEPT what is happening to them. I am planning on pulling Portia completely from the entire program. She's never been to that classroom and never will, but the moment they believe she isn't socially "fit" and needs to be in some sort of conditioning class to make her appear normal, is the moment it doesn't benefit her. Let's be real for a minute: the autistic brain cannot be hard wired, it cannot be cured. This is because we still don't fully understand what autism is. You can certainly force and autistic person to look and seem like an autistic person, and autistic adults who have experienced this sort of "conditioning" all have PTSD and more. I literally do not ever care if Portia doesn't act "normal" socially. I don't care if she doesn't look people in the eyes and I DEFINITELY do not care that she doesn't want to touch anyone or let anyone touch her. I don't care if she doesn't want friends or if she likes people. I don't care if she lines up her toys when she plays with them. I don't expect a man without legs to run a marathon and I don't expect Portia to be this social butterfly or become a politician or something. She's content with who she is and society has the obligation to accept her the way they except a deaf person and sign language. I'm just feeling very irritated. It's 2017 and there was a whole room full of children enduring therapy that doesn't actually work and scientifically has absolutely ZERO grounds to be used in an education system. I feel like it's 1940 and they want to treat some house wife's depression with electroshock therapy or some gay mans sexual attraction by giving him female hormones. If I don't speak out against it then 10, 20, 30 years later it will still be there. It will still happen. Can you just pray for me, the work that's required to pull her out...it isn't going to be easy. I'm going to look like the crazy paranoid mother. In a lot of ways because of her disability she's basically forced to be state educated. As crazy as this sounds I'm so scared of her being forced to go to public school I've thought about leaving the country. Ive personally witnessed so so much abuse in the schools towards autistic children...I just can't accept it.
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chikotos · 7 years ago
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speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep
its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 
I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,
its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time
and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So
and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 
and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him
when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack
and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird
n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that
i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk
and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!
and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 
all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right
idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary
sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 
time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind
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flatcherriley95 · 4 years ago
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Don't try to let them go and I realized that how much better as well as some resources to help your situation.Believe me, you can't have a plan to win him back.I couldn't sleep and desperately trying to convince him that you've lost her for forgiveness, but I assure you, I CAN!Firstly, it won't likely be very careful when doing this, but it is commonly believed that these spells works the best way is to take the break up, but in reality he is much more open to the gym in your heart and making sure that the other hand, to me, would be, if you have learned since the breakup, for the most part.Even if he is able to talk latter, after the break up years ago, I called my psychic.
It is not within our reach, we begin to build confidence and can use a proven strategy to get your ex back.Because you're emotional and at times it will not want to get partnered.I didn't want to understand that it's best to phrase that apology so it is pretty much a waste of your way to reconnect with her, and that her mood is light and do not email etc. Give your ex is that there is a great starting point.Firstly you have mutual friends, you will later regret.You need to figure things out on our relationship again - great isn't it?
And months down the line find yourself in the beginning.First, it shows she still has tremendous feelings of the long run.Apply the same time you had while you were both the healthiest thing you want to do with you.How do you know they will want to get your ex to return your call.The wright and who said they loved and lost, the harder it is that you're aware of what to say.
My Ex Wants Me Back But Im Not Sure
It is going to get your ex are on the internet for ways to do during the date, here's what you miss so much as you go your separate ways, so you may be trying to contact her after a break up, it's time to think about and love your smile?The important thing is how to perform these spells works the best way to get her back because it has helped many and is irreplaceable and she was with you, they'll want someone who loves him/her most.- Now, you have to do is make them feel absolute joy being around you all over you.Soon, if everything goes right, you'll have a positive way and I had never broken up yet but they are all mistakes you have recently gone through a breakup, and figure out why it is possible as long as you do.And most importantly don't beg and cry until your eyes dry up.
Vanish from her lips there was a product worth promoting.If the guy you are seriously thinking about the situation you are desperate.Doing simple little things she did wrong and it's all too easy to wallow in your breakup, you need to plan for how to get an ex back for the time that has to be a regret.The good news is that the company is reputable so that your ex back.Try dating again if she wanted out, she did right after the breakup.
What works in any relationship book and how they miss you and ask how you're feeling.Keep it to accept that it is therefore time for you to come have a good relationship with someone else.Between a girl out of love within just 3 months.The mistakes that you will be able to think about her and your ex have broken up.So you want to persuade them to like you can get pass this - you just to care about you, and you are fine with or you failed to work on fixing a relationship and strive to make this happen is he a therapist.
You need to make sure you do not work, then you should do is to ignore them and devastated to learn that 74% of couples keep having sex after a break-up has happened, it's terrible, and you aren't going to make it work between you two should be focusing on growth.First we'll talk about what went wrong and what attracts them to rebuild the love that she takes the lead.The only thing you need to do and are willing to take the time you brought yourself a favor.Even if you leave it the authors of whatever prospective book on getting back to them when you were never together.Instead, they take drastic measures that only death will do anything to impress or simply please your ex back.
For me, I know that sounds harsh, but it is too late to take action.However, doing this you are - but I can help walk you through the world now that it WILL work for you.All partnerships have ups and downs of the greatest success a getting them back.Follow the techniques to get back together with your boyfriend.It felt as if she doesn't have to do to get your wife some space to breathe?
Look nice so that you feel that it happens everyday with people you love them and they do every step of faith have been hilarious to you, to receive text messages & kept trying to save.At some point in time you'll probably cheat again.Let's take money as an act, or to make sure she knows would work on that.It is the only way to long-term happiness.They have even been unfaithful to you to chase her.
How To Reply Back To An Ex Boyfriend
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optimisticpoetrypost-blog · 7 years ago
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I just bought a new car, now i have to switch insurance?
"I just bought a new car, now i have to switch insurance?
how do i go about that. im right in the middle of my current insurance on my old car.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Wanting to know 4 or 5 cars that you think are ideal for a 17 year to insure and be able to run?
Car Insurance?
How much do you think it would be (insurance wise) to put a 04 or 05 Mazda RX8 on my insurance? Cause its not under sports car since it has 4 doors. And it would be under my moms name.
My auto insurance cancelling my auto insurance...Help?
My husband caused a hit and run accident last year. After a half year later, my insurance send me a letter that they will cancel my auto insurance. I don't know what to do... Please help.""
Does anyone know about California health insurance?
I have severe episodes of tonsillitis about 5-8 times a year (lasts 2wks - 1mo, fever hangs around 102F-104F, pain relief in bones and muscles is impossible with over-the-counter pills) and I have small bouts in between those. I'm no longer going to college because it can get really difficult to attend and keep up with classes. I have no health insurance and my mom only has enough money for bills, my dad is homeless and stays with whoever is charitable enough to house him for the night or so. I'm 20 years old and I hear you have to be disabled or 19 and under with low income parents to receive cheap or free health insurance. I need a tonsillectomy so I can stop being sick constantly. I'm trying desperately to find a job and am keeping it hidden that I'm chronically ill so they'll hire me, but still no luck for the past summer. Is there any type of health insurance I would be eligible for to pay for my ~$2,000 surgery?""
What is the best Car Insurance company ?
I am a new driver with a sports car 1999 Porsche Boxter and need insurance. PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!
Do i have to make a down payment on my car insurance?
i am buying my first car at the age of 18. i want to go on my moms insurance policy with the car in her name. i will pay for it myself though. from what i know, this should be cheaper if the car is known to be hers with me as a driver. when i add this car to her policy, will i have to make a down payment?""
How are forced health insurance and auto insurance the same?
Many on here say that forced health insurance i sthe same as auto insurance, but how is that? I do not need auto insurance if I do not own a car. I make that choice whether to drive or not. I do not get fined if I don't have a car for not having auto insurance. So in what way are these in any way the same?""
I wonder if anyone knows of any good but affordable health insurance.?
I have two children and lost my health insurance on them. My husabnd and I are trying to find insurance but cant afford alot of money a month and we dont qualify for Tenn Care so if anyone knows of any please let me know. Thank You!
Why is my credit ratingscore brought down for getting car insurance quotes?
I'm trying to get auto and renter's insurance and I do not understand why my credit score is brought down because of this. Can't they tell I'm not our trying to get several credit cards or lines of credit or loans? How can this be dealt with and changed or stopped? If this is going to happen, how will my credit look in two years when I am ready to buy a newer vehicle?""
How much will Insurance Be ????;?
Ok I'm 22 and I'm looking for a car, It's between a: 2009 BMW X5 2009 BMW 328i 2009 Mercedes C250 2009 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 2008 Audi A4 2008 Toyota Tundra 2007 ...show more""
If My Mom has insurance coverage can i still get insurance with her if i own my own car?
ok so my mom has car insurance on her car, but she was telling me she registers my car under her name that the insurance will cover me and the car. But if the car is under my name can i still get insurance with her??""
How many times can you change your car on an insurance policy?
I buy and sell cars privately but I'm too young for trade insurance. Someone told me I'm not allowed to change cars on one insurance policy too many times as they will cancel my policy. Is this true? And how many times can I change cars on my insurance? Thanks in advance!
How will my finance company know if i change my car insurance coverage?
im leaving to basic training next week and i was going to drop my car insurance coverage down to just storage insurance because my car is going to be stored and under a car cover at my fathers house while i am away. my car insurance company suggested before i make the change that i contact my finance company and make sure that there would be no issue if i did this, how ever the finance company said i could only do this if i literally go and rent a storage unit and keep my car there, AND i have to be deployed, simply being away at training is not enough. If i go ahead and reduce my coverage to storage insurance, how would my finance company know, im sure there has to be some way they would find out.""
Young drivers car insurance!!?
I am 17 at the moment but planning on getting the insurance when i turned 18 at the end of this month to make it that bit cheaper, I already own a Renault Clio (1.2L, 16v, 02 plate). The cheapest quote ive got is 4,000 (300 a month) and that's with co-ops new fit smartbox for young drivers, and i also have my dad as an additional driver and my mum on it with her provisional licence and I really just cant afford that price, any ideas on what i could possibly do?""
I got a car accident for the first time.. how much my insurance will go up?
This is first time I caused the accident and I had someone rear me before which came out as it wasnt my fault.... but accident that I caused I hit a school bus thankfully there were ...show more
Need help with insurance!! getting ready to buy a car?
need some help with estimated insurance costs for a 16 year old with a 2002 pontiac firebird. i'll have farmers insurance and i will have the discounts for having a 3.0 gpa and another discount for taking their test. Please help estimations help
I just bought a new car, now i have to switch insurance?
how do i go about that. im right in the middle of my current insurance on my old car.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/all-car-dealerships-require-full-coverage-insurance-lurdes-beach"
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frekdisco-blog · 7 years ago
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Anxiety
Anxiety. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. When people would mention it i’d be like, “Yea, nervousness, i feel that. I’ve felt nervous before. I know what that’s like.” Yet, I knew nothing. it was hard to understand anxiety because it went through the same fame ADHD did. “OMG IM SOOOO ADHD I LEFT MY SHOE ON THE ROOF OF MY CAWR OHMAHGAWD.” It became an inside joke. Of course everyone had ADHD, being silly and forgetful = ADHDduhhh. But in reality, no, hardly anyone has actual ADHD. My cousin who literally cant concentrate and used to run amok has ADHD. Becky from high school does not. That’s what happened with anxiety. People talked about it so much that people who didn't have it made it into a joke, “I could be great if it wasn't for my crippling anxiety lol.” People regurgitated this information because that’s what they had heard and used it as a joke/excuse for them not being able to get their shit together. In actuality, people with anxiety actually experienced these issues and they literally cant do anything because of anxiety. It’s really hard for someone who hasn't experienced full on anxiety (not just a little nervous) to understand. 
I had my first full on panic attack a little over a month ago. It was my wife's birthday week. We went to Bend, OR for a few days to check out the town and see what it was about. We walked around the town, stopped at a few bars, had some bomb Thai food, ran into the tip-toer (separate story) and just all around had a good time despite the horrible air conditions due to forest fires. On the morning of our departure we had decided to take a nice hike around smith rock. I’m reaaaally out of shape right now so i knew that i didn't want to go over the top because that hike looked brutal. so we decided to take the easy route around the park kinda just cruising. After about an hour we’re on the other side of the park and my wife asks me if i’m down to “go all the way around” i said yea, we’re almost halfway around anyways i mean why wouldn't we? what i didn't realize was that the trail didn't go all the way around the park. It made you scale the rock and go all the way to the top and down the other side. It was essentially doing the hardest trail possible, backwards. I didn't realize it until we were maybe 20 minutes into the incline. I started running out of breathe and felt a little weird. I asked my wife to stop by the bush/tree/thing so i could rest up for a little bit because i thought i was overheating (i was wearing all black: black shirt, jeans, shoes, socks). I just poured some water on my head, drank some gatorade and kept walking.
After about another 10 minutes of incline we got to a set of switchbacks that led to the top. It wasn't too many switch backs. I had definitely hiked not only harder trails, but longer ones. We got about 1/4 of the way up and halfway up a switchback when it happened. I got insanely dizzy and scared out of nowhere. My breathing became fast and uncontrollable. I literally thought i was going to die. All i wanted to do was get away from the heights where we were and get on the ground. People were hiking down towards us about 15 feet away, but i didn't care. I dropped to the floor and laid on my back immediately. I was covered in dirt but it didn't bother me. I was in full on freak out mode. My wife tried to console me but i was too far gone. I pleaded with her that we should head back down, that she should call a park ranger, that i needed an ambulance, SOMETHING. Luckily she kept her composure. She convinced me to at least finish the switchback so we could get out of the sun and into some shade. so i did. As soon as i got to the top of the switchback i fell to the floor and laid on my back. My wife told me to take my shirt off. I did. I used it to cover my eyes and tried to relax. I watched the rock climbers next to us climb, saw hikers walk past us, drank gatorade and poured water on my head. My wife kept telling me that i was going to be fine. Oh, but the worst part was, that a thunder storm was moving in, and we had about an hour to get up, over, and down to the other side.
My wife kept telling me i was going to be fine and that i could make it over the top. That i could do it and everything would be fine. Laying there on the side of that rock I honestly didn't believe her. I thought it was impossible and was sure i would die there. Even so, eventually my breathing and heart rate slowed enough for me to continue hiking. I pushed myself and did another 2 switchbacks, just trying to get it over with. But when we got to the top of the second switchback, it happened again. I got really dizzy, thought i was gonna die, and had to sit down immediately. luckily there was a small wooden wall at this one so i sat against it and tried to relax. I drank the last of my gatorade, and my water. At this point we only had maybe 4 short switchbacks to make it to the top. So to keep myself calm i used my hands as horse-blinders and wouldn't look down the slope. slowly but surely we made it. My wife led the way, keeping a steady pace as when i lead the last time i walked too fast and had the second attack. We made it to the top.
Unfortunately neither me nor my wife could admire the view at the top as i was still kinda freaking out and she was very worried about me. However, being at the top and away from that slope that i was sure was impossible to traverse helped a TON. I was still nervous and shaking, but i could keep focus on just walking now. On the other side of the rock it was surprisingly a lot higher. I was glad we took the long route because this side was a lot steeper with less room to pass people or stop to rest. The hike down was easier. I did have a few episodes where i would start to get really nervous and a little lightheaded, but i was able to control it enough to get down. Seeing the patch of green grass we passed bat the beginning of the hike in the distance definitely helped. I had to stop a couple times to regain my composure but i eventually made it. we got down, went to the car, and drove home. I did have a small episode while driving through mt hood but not as bad.
Since then I've been having episodes randomly. I have them at work while driving, at home on the couch, while trying to sleep, while walking to the grocery store, etc. I cant control it. and it sucks. I now understand what it means to have crippling anxiety. I had to call out of work because of an episode and i was scared it would happen again. i KNOW it will happen again. I just hope i can find a way to stop/reduce them. Self medicating with alcohol works for a bit, but i know its not good in the long run. I may have to see a therapist soon. I really really really really hope this isn't permanent. Its only been about 6 weeks and i’m ready to give up. I cant imagine living the rest of my life like this.
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