#my text post crashed twice lol

[kurolini909]

Okay! Explaining why I've been mostly vanished... For several days now I had a school OLYMPICS event,

And since we lacked team, I was forced to play EVERY SPORT EVER, even tho I haven't stepped in a court in YEARS....

I'm sore all over. TwT

[typicalopposite]

*paces the room*

So I just finished season 5!

So MUCH happened I swear going back to look at the episodes synopsis’ for this post I was like… wait that was in this season too?!? I stayed up ALL night TWICE watching this season because I just couldn’t turn it off! It’s crazy that people didn’t like this season (like vehemently didn’t like it at least on Reddit… BUT they say they don’t like s6 because its Buck centric and he “needs to be more of a background character” sooooo clearly I won’t read too into their nonsense)

ANYWAY this season is possibly one of my favorites! From the hackers the gps wrecks and tower scare, the zoo breakout (THE ZOO BREAKOUT OMG… THE ALPACAAAAAAAS! And Buck being scared LOL) to Jeffrey escaping and then Athena’s whole story line following! I was terrified for her and for Harry and ACK!!!!

Maddie’s PPD and leaving arc was so heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time! And I felt so bad for Chim (and Buck) and baby Jee!

OMG the homecoming parade crash and the mixup I was so Heartbroken for them! :(

Claudette… :/ hated her and her ending… but mostly her

Of course Lucifer (spn) shows up as an extremely bad guy but he wants to play dad of the year (ok the guy here at least is thinking of his kid more than himself… but still PARALLELS!)

MICHAEL AND DAVID! I hated to see them go! And that montage had me all teary eyed during one of my all nighters!

Toni’s little love story <3 and the girls from the oil spill! <3<3

Eddie’s panic attacks and leaving the 118 was so sad! But I get it… I also know he will be back because I came from season 7 *shrugs* so it wasn’t too sad, yanno?

I love that everyone still came together for Christmas tho, i was like poor Bobby and Athena </3

Madney reunion… sort of </3 but again…. I know how this ends lol. Also JJ and Kate reunion (criminal minds)

The kiss might be the one thing I truly disliked from the season because it doesn’t really do anything beyond being annoying.

WHY DOES EVERYONE USE BOBBY’S PAST AGAINST HIM WHEN THEY ARE ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYY :(

Well I have a fear of sauna’s now (and stop signs… and exercising)

The mom that falls saving her daughters had me BAWLING!

Bobby and May’s relationship is everything to me! And ack I knew I didn’t like Jonah

I take back my original assumption of Buck having the worst luck. It’s Chimney. What the hell. Give this man a raise and a vacation… some amazing life insurance and some bubble wrap. How he is alive is beyond me!!

THE LAST EPISODE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3

Toni getting married, and the drama about her missing Hen and Karen’s wedding. Buck’s face when Maddie texts Chim first. Bobby </3 was not ok, but EDDIE CAME THROUGH! And when he poured the whiskey out I was whooop whoooping out loud! THEN THE WEDDING I love Toni so much omg and everyone coming! PLUS no more Taylor :) hahahaha (sorry i just never liked her)

(Omg the maggots in the hair might have too the cake as the worst thing to happen… at least visually… for me)

SEASON SIX HERE I COME! You better be all about Buck like the pissy people on Reddit said you are! And y’all, send me strength for that mid season finale i have seen it dozens of times but this is gonna be different and I have never been so prepared to be unprepared for something in my life! O.o

[scyphosunny]

wasn't planning on doing it , but , vargastober day 9 was posted !

i knew for a fact i'd skip day 8 or 9 . either of them . the prompts were just too similar , and even if i already explained that i had different things in mind for both of these i still couldn't find references i liked . i would still fail , too . . .

still , i had two references set for nothing . i remember having this concept in mind and wanted to search for a random reference to use it but i also didn't want a background . told myself i'd just make it a black void and fixed but still ! found something i liked more .

mm . . . i'm sleepy and i didn't write any notes . . .

i watched the new tadc chapter with nyne , then talked to brusk for a while and i did manage to get the smallest sketch ever .

of course i had to draw his face . glad i did , he looks so pretty . you know i like a sketch when i add freckles or blush to it lulz

then took a break , got distracted talking to ai bots and i didn't pick this up until past midnight . 2AM maybe .

i usually take a long time drawing , and i just had less than two hours to finish it ! it wasn't anything super complicated , so maybe i could get it done ? or finish it next day . any of them worked just fine .

still , i kept working on it ! just watched some random vids on yt , added some text from chapter 8 . . . i remember just opening the whole fic and searching the word empty . then i browsed through it until i found a paragraph i liked lol . had to add the same text twice ! just for it to take enough space . god , csp didn't like the text . it was lagging a lot , so i get paranoid and save the canvas just in case the app crashes . i try to modify the text once again and the app crashes . SO CLOSE . once i finished the drawing , it was almost 4AM and my honest reaction was to look at it , smile , sigh and say

god . i told myself i wouldn't stress too much about these but here i am looking at my piece and thinking god this is lame and not worth posting

okay . i've made some great pieces so far ! specially the first two . i really think i outdid myself with those . so , getting everything with the same quality level is HARD as someone that keeps on insisting can't think properly . i swear . so i just look at this one like man ts is straight buns

i don't remember how ? but i just got this idea of adding a tv screen effect . might look super cool . even if it makes no sense . hahahaha . alright i already said this most of these will just , look cool . ough . so i go to alight motion , search for a tutorial on tiktok and add it to the drawing . looks slightly better ! i think

i added a tv frame on it but i don't think it's like , super noticeable considering everything's pretty dark already .

so , this is how it looked at first !

and . well . i still thought it was lame . i go to twitter , post about it . . . hawker encouraged me to post it so i was like alright mmmmaybe i will ? something i do like about this version is that i was able to add some smart blur on the picture . i've been a smart blur enthusiast since i edited kpop pictures back in 2020 lolz makes everything soft and hazy . i really love it . also , the tv effect is much more noticeable here , now that there's not that much movement going on .

i keep looking at it and i'm like . . . . . . i'll try to get it better . maybe add actual static on the face . that would be cool . before going to bed i exported everything in separate pieces , the background and the character in png . should work ! then i'm like hey but i also need to have a bit of transparency on the background if i want to stack the pic above the static thing . okay . i screenrecord a video from youtube with the shittiest wifi ever considering it was now past 4:30AM and i was in bed already , add the effect , get it red and realize that idk how i liked it better , export the thing , change the pic i used first time i edited the gif to avoid adding all of the effects again and well that should work . well , alight motion didn't like this . i already had trouble trying to export butterfly ,

FILE TOO POWERFUL , i guess . i spent some time trying to get it to export and eventually it did . so , now we have this version !

the static thing did made such a big difference . it also made more sense this way , why add the effect in the first place ? looked so pointless and out of place . so having more movement going on in the whole thing helped a lot . i removed his glasses , added some shading on his clothes and ta-dah ! should be everything !

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤshould be everything

FORGOT THE SHADING ON HIS NECK . UUUGGHH

i'd just fix it after waking up .

next day , both brusk and meta told me the thing was really cool and that i should post it so i just thought about it for a while . whatever . . . it was already done ! so why not post it ? i added the shadow and exported it . sssso now , for REAL we have the finished gif !

i honestly don't think it's that terrible anymore . still kinda lame . this one was originally for nothing , but works great with empty too . so i just posted it under that prompt . LOLOL i did end up doing nothing for day 8 . great . i didn't really care for tumblr ruining the quality , like it did with butterfly . this one isn't really about having great quality .

i'm sleepy . what else . . .

idk if i'll work on lies . i thought i wouldn't , but i checked on the thing i got to get my ideas together and i do have a reference set for that one , so it looks like i'll have to wake up early . UGH today i knew i wouldn't work on a piece so i tried to get myself to sleep past 12 and i woke up at 11 . I'M ALREADY SLEEPY AND IT'S JJJUST 1:30AM . i'm actually considering going to sleep earlier today because hawker won't come to twitter tonight . i'll miss her . don't tell her , but first time she had to stay away from social media to focus on school , i had a super bad meltdown and i cried myself to sleep because she wasn't there . i really enjoy talking with her ! it's one of the best parts of my day . she's chinese , so i need to wait until 4AM so she gets back from school and we get like 30 minutes to talk before i fall asleep . she's just the sweetest , i swear ! so endearing and nice . i really like her . and , i started waking up earlier recently to try and take care of vargastober's pieces before 3:9999999999999999AM and that small thing actually threw my whole internal schedule off . it's annoying , because i get sleepy as soon as i lie down in bed and i don't get to talk to her . i keep struggling to even write a good night text . ssssigh !

anyway . . . right know i think i'll work on a small sketch for a birthday gift i want to make for a friend . i've been wanting to draw her william design for so long now ! and today's her birthday , so i'll make a small sketch . . . god , i also need to take care of brusk's bday gift . WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN IN OCTOBER !!!!!! i already have three more parties to attend throughout the month . one of them is mlp themed lolz

might be all . see you later !

edit : i said i'd draw william for my friend and here it is lolz

[brianil]

To all the elders i met till now.

Don't mark this as some old humans I met but just older than me be it 1-2 years, though most of them were really older than me. today I am writing to everyone I met through Simran di at THT. Talk happy therapy was such an eventful part of my life. Although whatever I did during my time there could be seen as goofing around with my time for some project but well it was something big for me. I saw a post once in facebook, it might as well be an article, about a girl saving someone live through a phone call. Well I don't really remember the article or the headline but I was moved. I saw the app attached to article and downloaded it so that I can contribute whatever I can. I can at the very least spread the word.

I used the app and it was just okay but I was cool with it as, how much a single human can do on their own, no? lol I just git reminded this was supposed to be the letter...

hii di,

So i saw the teh volunteer word there and I did not think more than, I clicked on it and send the mail or details whatever was required and that day changed my life. I saw you on the scooter with pranesh bhaia, all though I did thought for a bit how you would be coming, well I did see you as a founder, but scooter was cool too, I did not put too much attention on anyone travelling after that in my entire life anyway... I remember all of the people, well Kanishk Bhaia did an amazing job for that as I remember most of the introduction people did there, someone was like Doremon, Sandeep Maheshwari, I think I chose Detective Conan, their was Hesignberg I thought he chose that as the scientist name but maybe it was not that reference but who knows, well I guess my memory Is not that great hehe, I learnt a lot from you, also went to so many places too for the first time and also last time as of yet, I hope you are doing well, I do write you letter twice a month but not sure if you have that id still or not. anyway, I guess this is a bye for now. anil To kirti di, rishabh bhaia, sarah di, c,v,apd, a, s2, maggo di, singer bhaia, legend bhaia, comedian bhaia, quizzer di, well hehe, and baaki...

i mean i thought i can write letters to you individually but looks like I would either fall of memories or the words for you. and I do still write some of you letters even now. Should I text you guys like a quiz ? well it may not be good, but if I have a letter or something I might do it. whats bad in a positive letter, cheese cake and dhokla. i have yet to eat a cheese cake though...

I was going to write some generic words like how you inspired me, and bla bla, than I thought how not fun that is so I stopped. i will do a quick activity like a words associated with the you guys and the memory ... so R-Pokemon go-teaphics k-mysterious-lead q-encyclopedia-movies k-funny-relevant apd-cute-happy ad-pahad-bhaari p-wow-amazing l-legend-. S-well-good s2-ding-ding-travel s3-singer-happy s-soulful-eng m-rapper-cause c-well-good c-cha..-neah v-holy-vibe s-gone-enog p-whyyhw-ieei I think my brain will crash if I tried to remember rest of the participants, anyway I hope you all are doing great I wish I get to meet you once more . till we meet again brianil.

[brianbrianbrain]

I am so tired of people's weird ass leapfrogging rhetoric, and very specifically am very fired up about how dangerous overdoing "union pride" can be. Take these two recent union posts:

ID. Screenshot of an Instagram post by @perfectunion on December 14, 2023. The slide is styled like a Twitter post from golden checkmarked user More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS with added annotations for emphasis: Tesla is being forced to recall nearly begin underline every car end underline it's ever sold in the U.S.

The problem is the autopilot system, which has been involved in begin double underline numerous end double underline fatal crashes.

It's another sign that Tesla begin highlight needs a union end highlight. Musk must be stopped from putting profit before human life. End ID.

ID. Screenshot of an Instagram post by @teamsters on December 4, 2023: In the top half of the slide, a United Airlines plane in grey/blue scale is in the background. Bold white text is centered In the foreground: We don't think twice text gets slightly smaller when boarding an airplane because we entrust our safety to the finest American technicians. The bottom half of the slide has a sandy white background with bold blue text centered in the foreground: What would passengers think if they knew text gets larger their plane was last text gets larger, begin italics maintained text gets even larger in China? The slide is bordered by a yellow frame and the International Brotherhood of Teamsters logo (the necks and heads of two horses facing away from each other on top of a wheel) is centered at the bottom. End ID.

I'm not glued to social media whatsoever, and I think it's horrible to discover that two (pro-)union accounts have taken such tone deaf stances barely a week apart from each other. No doubt there have been more infractions in that time period even in just public statements alone. I was heartened to see that at least for the Teamsters post, almost all of the comments called out the sinophobia and how indefensible it is that the Teamsters spout such racist and nationalist rhetoric while they are supposed to be an "International Brotherhood" and while there are so many actually valid pro-union arguments they could be making. But for the Tesla post, most comments just added to the "haha, Elon Musk is/billionares are at it again!" vibe.

My first reaction to the Tesla post was: consider this, what if Tesla simply didn't exist at all? What if it wasn't there to contribute to the violence and coercion in the Congo and other places where the raw materials for electronics are mined? What if it wasn't there putting out tabloid quality news and playing stock games and diverting attention and resources from actually uplifting people? And most directly, what in the world does having a union or not have to do with a recall? This recall was because Elon Musk is a hubristic piece of shit who, yes, doesn't give a shit about people's lives – he just wants to sell lies. A union would not be able to change that; in fact, the union might serve to slightly legitimize Musk's lies. And sure, Musk must be stopped from putting profit before human life, but OP just really went for a series of false equivalencies or something with union -> people over profit -> lol no more fatal autopilot?

Both of these posts take some incredibly tangential "issue" or even fabricate a new one and claim that a union would solve it in order to further a pro-union agenda. And as much as I hope that the Teamsters do well as a union and that Tesla workers win their union, "union pride" being taken to this level is unacceptable and foolish. What a union will accomplish: making sure workers are paid fairly and that billionaires are not completely stealing people's livelihoods for their hoards. Incendiary racist rhetoric will only ever serve to detract from united power against billionaires. What a union will not accomplish: magically making billionaires stop putting profit before human lives. In fact, organizing into a union as the end all be all reinforces the power of billionaires, because what you say as a union is: yea, we'll still work for you, you just have to give us a little more of these silly little tokens so we don't totally riot. And then the union usually proceeds to care jackshit about literally anyone else than people who are paying union dues, thus remaining complicit in or implicitly endorsing any other exploitation the billionaire may be up to (for instance, during the recent WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes, the lack of platform given to non-US workers. Sure there's legal shit where the union bargains for the union, but the LEAST you could do is to give other causes consistent shoutouts).

I want to make it clear that I am pro-union, but I stress that it must be seen as but one of the first steps. "Union pride" that treats the union as a silver bullet solution is unacceptable. Union pride that bashes the skills of scabs instead of considering more complex dynamics or at least only hounding on their lack of worker solidarity completely misses the point, and like racist rhetoric, only serves to divide power against billionaires. Stop jumping through hoops to act like a union would solve everything. It's not the holy grail. It's a stepping stone; as the Black Panthers put it, "Survival pending revolution." Unions are for making sure you've at least got enough to survive while you transition to a better future where unions as they exist today are no longer necessary.

(Tangentially, I do wonder if this is a US/European specific thing, if people in other countries understand the larger dynamics and that unions are for bargaining as a unit, not for pretending that they are the pinnacle of society. I wouldn't be surprised, given the Cold War era efforts to distance US worker movements from international liberation and fit them into the capitalist-imperialist machine.)

And this leapfrogging rhetoric is in no way exclusive to unions. For instance, you don't need to be going after how someone looks or making generalizations about people's cultures and origins when you're calling for an end to genocide, for the very simple fact that the most important thing is that the genocide needs to fucking end. Stop adding to false divides and be clear with your rhetoric instead of firing off every single goddamned piece of random shrapnel filled ammunition that your subconscious mind can spit up from the dark webs.

[burnt-enough-starlight]

I’m it Tag

I was tagged by @hakyeon-go-go and @reila-ravkong, thanks you thank you😊😊😊😊

I was also tagged by @ravissant-xxiv and @wonsik-chic for the 10 biases tag, thank you lovelies.

I tag you: @achahakyeon @tranquies @nxnight You don’t have to do it~

Under the cut because of length

Your top 10 biases?  

GOD DAMN RA V I HUSTLE YELLOW (V I DOUBLE X IN DA HOUZ)

Mr.Tigger Bang YongGuk (B.A.P)

Onew (Shinee)

Kyungsoo (Exo)

Baekhyun (Exo)

(I didn't repeat members from the same group for the sake of diversity cuz you know all of my VIXX babies and Lay are supposed to be there)

First group I listened to/liked? TVXQ, Super Junior, Mblaq, 2am/ 2pm.

Do you prefer boy groups or girl groups? even tho my bias groups are boy groups, I don’t have a preference of gender, If the music's good I'd give it a go.

Favorite female group? Orange Caramel!!!

Favorite male group? VIXX!

Favorite female solo artist? Hyolyn 

Favorite male solo artist? John Park

Top 3 Groups? VIXX, SHINee, B.A.P

Favorite Kpop Song? I can't choose, too many!!

Favorite happy Kpop song? All Orange Caramel songs!

Favorite Kpop sad song? TAEHYUN 좋더라 (I'M YOUNG) (It depressed me for a week when it came out)

Favorite Kpop smut song? Jonghyun - Moon (this is tmi but I literally described it to my friend as a dick riding song I'M SORRY!!!)

Favorite Kpop song of 2017 so far? RAVI - Rose Feat. Ken

Favorite debut? B.A.P!!! TILL THIS DAY NO ONE MATCHED THEM!!!

Favorite debut of 2017 so far? Highlight  😏

Favorite mv of 2017 so far? Ravi - Bomb (the original version!!!!)

Favorite mv? VIXX - Error.

Favorite album/mini album? VIXX Kratos

Favorite album/mini album of 2017 so far? The only album I’ve listened to in its entirety is R.EAL1ZE  

Your ultimate bias? My marshmallow KIM RAVI!!!

Favorite GIF of your ultimate bias? 💘💘💘

Favorite picture of your ultimate bias? 💀💀💀💀

Favorite thing about your bias? his scrunchy nose when he laughs

Was he your bias from the start? No, Leo was my first bias.

Have you ever changed biases more than 3 times and in what group? in VIXX it’s hard to stick to one but my ass always goes back to Wonshik.

If so; what group and what members?

Favorite Ship? all the exos

Do you ship the “mom & dad” in your favorite group? Neo!

Who’s the mom and dad in your favorite group? N and Leo

Who do you end up liking more in groups; Leaders, Maknaes, mood makers, vocal, rap, “mom”, “dad”, English speaker, drummer, guitarist, pianist? Leaders and Rappers

If your bias got a girlfriend/boyfriend how would you feel? I’d be so happy for him and supportive because he deserves the world.

How would you feel if your bias came out gay/lesbian/bisexual/etc.? I’d be proud of him/her for being so brave and comfortable with his/her sexuality and will support him/her all the way.

Do you think any kpop idols are gay/lesbian/bisexual/etc.? I don’t like speculating and I don't really care for their sexuality, it doesn't affect my view of them.

If so; who?

Favorite kpop blog? I follow so many great blogs!

Favorite kpop scenario blog? Favorite kpop smut blog? Favorite Kpop fanfic?  I made an entire post about this.

Favorite show with kpop idols? Weekly Idol?

Do you prefer saying “Oppa” or being called “Noona”? Neither; I’m not korean.

Is it cuter when KPop Idols know your language or don’t know it and try to speak it? I appreciate their effort to communicate with I-fans either way :’)

BIGBANG: “Bang Bang Bang” or “We like 2 Party”

iKon: “#WYD” or “Rhythm Ta”

Monsta X: “Perfect Girl” or “All in”

BTS: “Save Me” or “Fire”

EXO: “Monster” or “Growl?”

Astro: “Breathless” or “Hide&Seek”? (I’ve never heard any of their songs)

Red Velvet vs. EXID: “Ice Cream Cake” or “Up & Down”?

4Minute: “Crazy” or “Hate”?

NCT U vs NCT 127: “The 7th Sense” or “Fire Truck”?

Got7: “Just Right” or “Fly”?

Amber vs Ailee: “Borders” or “Insane”?

History: “Queen” or “Might Just Die”?

KNK: “Knock” or “Back Again”?

Day6: “Congratulations” or “Letting Go”?

Block B: “Her” or “Toy”

ZICO: “I am You, You are Me” or “Boys And Girls”?

B.A.P: “Feel So Good” or “Young, Wild & Free”?

Seventeen: “Nice Very Nice” or “Adore U”?

Taeyeon: “I (feat Verbal Jint)” or “Why”?

G-Dragon Vs. Taeyang: “Who you?” or “Eyes, Nose, Lips”

BTS: “The Most Beautiful Moment In Life Series” or “Dark & Wild”?

Day6: “The Day” or “DAYDREAM”?

BIGBANG: “A” or “M”

Monsta X: “The Clan, Pt.1 ” or “Rush”?

Seventeen: “Boys Be” or “First Love&Letter”?

EXO: “Ex’ACT” or “Love Me Right”?

Astro: “Spring Up” or “Summer Vibes”?

Vixx: “Chained Up” or “Error”? (How dare you!)

EXO or BTS?

SISTAR or Red Velvet?

NCT U or NCT 127?

Girls’ Day or Girls Generation?

Seventeen or GOT7?

Winner or iKon?

Block B or Beast?

Romeo or Astro?

Jimin or Jungkook?

Xiumin or Chanyeol?

Taeyeon or Ailee?

Jay Park or Dean?

G-Dragon or Taeyang?

Amber or Henry?

Wooshin or Hwanhee (up10tion)?

Jeonghan or Dino?

Taemin or Jonghyun?

Seulgi or Irene?

Got7: Markson or Markjin?

Red Velvet: JoyGi or WenRi?

BTS: VKook or JiKook?

EXO: Hunhan or Kaisoo?

Monsta X: Showhyuk or Jookyun?

Topp Dogg: Hanjoo or Xenissi?

NCT: TaeTen or JaeYong?

Seventeen: Meanie or Jeongcheol?

iKon: Double B or Double J (Junhwan)?

[cherryonigiri]

nanami kento [evenings with you]

nanami kento x reader || cw: descriptions of blood/injuries, light angst

a/n: this is just self-indulgent writing for me but i'm v stressed about school rn and this is the result. just imagine that y/n is a bio/medical phd candidate lol.

Nanami can tell that you're stressed. Usually you savor the nights he's not on overtime, asking him about work and refusing to leave his side for most of the evening. He's used to you being attentive, so the fact that you've asked him the same question twice within the last ten minutes is already setting alarm bells ringing in his head. You're constantly fiddling with something, or flashing furtive glances towards the bedroom when you think he's not paying attention.

It only gets worse after dinner. You insist on washing up, something about how you want him to 'enjoy his night off.' Nanami compromises, silently grabbing a towel and drying the dishes. It's clear that your mind is elsewhere. Your hands scrub the porcelain on autopilot, and he can hear you muttering under your breath.

Every now and then you'll mutter a list of tasks under your breath. Nanami remembers you mentioning that things were hectic in lab. You're almost always still working when gets home from work, even when it's well past when you eat your dinner. It's clear that you've had a busy day-- the apartment is far more cluttered than it usually is. There are post-it and pieces of scrap paper stuck to every single surface, and a forgotten pile of folded laundry rests on the couch.

An intense burning sensation across your palm causes you cry out. "Shit!" You drop the knife you were washing in favor of cradling your already bleeding hand. Nanami is instantly by your side, firmly pressing the dishcloth against your cut. There is a worrying amount of red seeping into the fabric, so he silently ushers you to the bathroom.

It's a strange reversal of roles. He's used to being the one leaning leaning against the counter while you bandage his wounds. Instead, it's you who is perched on the marble surface, wincing as he dabs an antiseptic soaked cotton ball against your injury. "Sorry, I'm almost done," he says when you let out a loud hiss.

"It's fine," you reply, sheepishly looking away. "I should have been paying more attention."

Nanami chooses to only respond with a nonchalant hum, focusing on cleaning your palm. The two of you sit there in comfortable silence while he applies ointment to the cut, adding gauze once he's finished. It's only when he reaches for the bandages that he decides to ask. "What's stressing you out?"

Your eyes widen as you realize you've been caught. Nanami is rarely home early these days, especially since he's been mentoring Itadori on behalf of Gojo. (Not that you mind - in the few times you've met Itadori through video call with Nanami, the pink-haired student's sunny disposition has never failed to cheer you up.) When he'd texted you saying he'd be home by dinner, you'd jumped at the opportunity to spend some much needed time with him. You'd pulled out the stops, cooking something a little fancier, and intent on spending the earlier part of the evening cuddling with him. Secretly, you had planned to sneak out of bed after he'd fallen asleep (he always goes to bed early on days like these) and finish preparing for the gauntlet of meetings and presentations you had tomorrow. It was your fault for putting off the tasks, and you didn't want to let your own bad habits get in the way of some quality time with your boyfriend.

"It's nothing, I just have a lot on my plate tomorrow." You do your best to laugh it off, but quickly trail off once when you catch Nanami's deadpan expression. He's always been too good at seeing through your white lies. "I put off some work..." A raised eyebrow from him prompts you to continue, "And I was planning on doing it after you went to bed..." You can't help it when your face scrunches into a pout. After all, now your carefully-laid deception has been revealed.

When Nanami bursts into amused chuckles, you're momentarily surprised, but quickly go back to sulking. "Stop laughing at me Ken!" you whine, "I'm a--"

"Self-aware procrastinator," he finishes your sentence with an amused grin. "I know love, I know. I've seen you write far too many papers within 24-hours of a deadline to be surprised." He presses an affectionate kiss against your wrist.

You scowl at your boyfriend, snatching your bandaged hand away from his grasp. "I'm glad that my suffering is entertaining for at least one person." You stomp back to the bedroom in faux-anger, smiling when you hear Nanami's footsteps not far behind you.

When he steps into the bedroom Nanami drapes his frame over your shoulders, his warm torso nestled against your back. "It is one of your more...endearing traits," he murmurs into your ear before pressing a kiss into the crook of your neck. You can feel your cheeks and ears tingle at his words of affection.

"Sometimes you can be such a sweet talker," you mumble to yourself while you change into your pajamas. This week it's been an old Jujutsu tech hoodie and a pair of well-worn athletic shorts.

"Only for you," Nanami replies while he undoes the buttons of his outfit, chucking his tan pants and blue button up into the laundry basket in the corner. He dons a pair of sweatpants before returning your side to recapture you in another affectionate hug. It's a well kept secret of the Kento-Y/N household that Nanami Kento likes to lounge around shirtless in the privacy of his apartment. (You've been sworn to secrecy, but only because your boyfriend claims that Gojo and the students would have a field day teasing him if this information were to be made public amongst the jujutsu sorcerer community.)

Turning around, you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your nose against his torso and taking in his comforting scent. It's been so long since the two of you have had a moment to yourselves, and for once your hectic thoughts are silenced in favor of sharing a moment of calm bliss with Nanami. He hums in appreciation, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your hips.

"Do you want to watch anything tonight?" you ask after a few seconds of silence.

"No," he replies. "I was actually planning on reading the briefing Ichiji just sent me. Gojo apparently has another scheme up his sleeve." You giggle when your boyfriend lets out a pained sigh. On more than one occasion, your boyfriend has ranted to you about Gojo's unorthodox approach to exorcism. "I swear that idiot shaves a year off my lifespan every time I go on a mission with him," Nanami complains. "He's taking away the years I could spend in Malaysia."

You hum thoughtfully before responding, "Then do you mind--"

Once again, Nanami already knows what you're going to say. "Just remember to bring your laptop charger, I know you have a thousand tabs open on your computer right now," he says while exiting to the living room. After a few moments you join him, overburdened laptop and charger in hand. You both take your usual spots in the living room, him resting comfortably in the center of the loveseat and you sitting on a floor cushion, nestled between his legs. Soon you've fallen into a groove, fingers steadily typing on the keyboard. The warmth of Nanami's presence next to you brings a sense of calm, giving you the grounding focus you need to finish off the last of your tasks.

As he thumbs through the printouts Ichiji gave him, Nanami can't help but let his eyes drift towards you every now and then. You look so adorable when you work. From the way your brow furrows whenever you reread a line, to the way you unconsciously chew on your lip when you scrutinize your draft for any errors. Every now and then he'll gently run his fingers through your hair, relishing the content sighs you let out in response.

It only takes about another hour before you're (finally) closing all your tabs (he still doesn't know why your laptop hasn't crashed yet). As you scroll through social media, your head begins to droop. Soon enough you've fallen asleep, breaths coming in soft and even puffs as you rest against his thigh. Smiling to himself, he puts down his papers and gently lifts your body from the floor. He's careful not to wake you as he slowly makes his way back to the bedroom.

Setting you on the bed, he tucks you under the blankets before lying beside you. The moonlight coming through your window softly illuminates your relaxed features, and he softly traces the outline of your face with his thumb. As he continues to caress your cheek, his eyes are drawn to the dark circles under your eyes. He rarely falls asleep after you these days - between his physically demanding occupation and the ever growing number of things you are responsible for at work- he's often the first to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion while you work well into the night. Not to mention that he's had to spend an increasing number of nights away from you, either on challenging missions or accompanying Gojo's students. And while he knows most of your stress comes from being a student, he can't help but feel guilty about all the additional distress his status as a jujutsu sorcerer has caused you.

When you started dating him, you insisted that Shoko teach you how to suture. He hates how much your stitches have improved since then. The neatness of your stitches is a constant reminder of how much you've endured because of him. When he hears you trying to muffle your sobs into a pillow, he swears he can feel his heart crack in his chest, hurting more than any kind of physical wound from battle. Those nights end with him holding you tightly to his bandaged chest, murmuring reassurances and affection into the crown of your head until you've calmed down enough to fall into a fitful sleep. Even when you're unconscious he'll still continue, words morphing into apologies for the sadness he's inflicted upon your shoulders.

Feeling his eyelids being to droop, Nanami presses one last kiss against your forehead before laying down. He wraps his arms around your waist, surrounding you with warmth, hoping that his presence will be enough to keep your nightmares away, at least for tonight. I love you, y/n is the last thought he has before he drifts away, ready to dream of a tropical sunset and a peaceful future with you by his side.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

okay this is super long sorry and unedited (not as great as your writing lol) i'm okay with it being posted and hope you have a good sleep!

“Well Bugsy, you’re down to your last two options. Mr QuackityHQ-” Austin announced as Quackity waved his hand before saluting to the camera, “-and Mr DreamWasTaken!” Dream’s discord lit up as he let out a whoop. Austin paused for dramatic effect, “okay before we let these two have their final chat with Ms BugsyGames, I want them to DM me their decisions.” His phone pinged twice before Bugsy and Dream were left to talk.

“Come on Bug! Sweetheart! We have a treehouse and two children!” Dream announced passionately, “Are you really going to leave your loving family to be with the guy who can’t cook pizza babe?” Bugsy giggled, flustered by all the pet names Dream was using during the game. “-and you can cook pizza?” she asked with scepticism in her voice. She heard a crash from Dream’s side, “Well not pizza, but I can cook! What do you say, baby? Let’s take the leap.” Bugsy opened her mouth to send a retort, face on fire but was cut off by Austin announcing the end of Dream’s time. He protested but it was to no avail.

Quackity entered the voice channel with his usual auto-tuned scream. Bugsy joined in, without the auto-tune of course. “Ms BugsyGames, I have never shied away from my affections for you. Unlike a certain someone, I flew out to meet you and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Bugsy laughed as Quackity continued, “I’d never host you in Minecraft, in Love or Host or even in a Jackbox. I wouldn’t kill your children in lore because they’d be our children, mi amour.” He wiggled his eyebrows, even bowing for good measure. Austin entered the voice channel and announced that they had to enter the main chat. “Okay Bugsy, please send me your choice.” she looked at Naomi and Karl who were both sitting on her bed. The two of them flashed her thumbs-ups as she DMed Austin.

Quackity started praying in Spanish, expecting Austin to announce the winner. “As we all are aware, Bugsy is technically a mother and how could we continue without talking to her sons? So please give a round of applause for Tubbo_ and Ranboo!” Both boys logged in and greeted Bugsy who let out a squeal. “Okay, who would you prefer, just know we already have the result,” Austin said as Quackity pointed to himself. “I’d say Quackity but Dream did mail me a 20 dollar note so I don’t really know,” Tubbo said holding up a note in his hands. Ranboo nodded, fixing his facemask. “That’s pocket money! I’m being a responsible husband!” Dream shouted above Quackity’s screams. “Austin!” Bugsy said with laughter in her voice, “I think we should announce the winner!”

“-The winner of Ms BugsyGames’ Love or Host is, drumroll please.” Taboo and Ranboo patted their desks, “MR QUACKITYHQ!” Dream let out a scream. “Bugsy be glad to know Quackity chose Love!” Bugsy turned the rest of Quackity’s victory speech out, busy with the text messages Dream was sending her. - 🔥

HAHAHAH OH MY GOOOSSSHHH DUDE THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD OMG omg omg okay this made me SO happy hahahah thank you so much this is so cute (thoughts below the cut bc WOWOWOW)

also you said he was texting her after Quackity won so I made these

wait okay there's so much to process (in a good way) okay I broke it down because what you wrote is AMAZING AND I LOVE IT AHAHAH

dream pleading his case by just using a bunch of pet names like THAT would win her over it might and slamming his desk when she's like oh you cook??

QUACKITY ENTERING BY YELLING IN AUTOTUNE HAHAH his speech almost won ME over dang I woulda picked him too after that are you kidding me???

"I flew out to meet you and wouldn't hesitate to do it again" 💀💀 facts. don't be shy Dream, go fly out to bugsy and meet her

"I wouldn't kill your children in lore because they'd be our children mi amor" OKAY HE KNEW TO USE TUBBO AND RANBOO TO GET TO HER HEART HAHA

Naomi and Karl just sitting on her bed both going 😄👍 oh my gosh I love them

Dream bribing Tubbo that's so accurate oh my gosh

also Tubbo and Ranboo drumming on the desks for the drumroll why did that make me go 🥺 I love them so much

Dream would ABSOLUTELY spam text her after bc he was so confident he was going to win bc why WOULDNT he so "what the heck bugsy this needs to be addressed" type spam

🔥 I would 10/10 die for you tysm

[upward]

A Journey: If I don’t write this here, I will scream. A novel, or perhaps a poem

I have the flu.

I tried to take PTO but that was not allowed because reasons I don’t have time to get into but will complain about later. The point is.

I have the flu and I worked all day, straight through lunch.

Now it is not work time and I would like to relax. 

Work on my novel, knit some shit, I don’t fucking know. Anything,

And would like to watch Game of Thrones or some other horseshit so I decide to say fuck it and spring for HBO Max.

My partner continues to make AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF NOISE downstairs and if I didn’t have the flu I would murder him. 

I try to get HBO Max on my PS4 because it is on my TV upstairs.

It informs me I must go to a computer.

I go to the computer and it informs me I have an account.

I log in.

My partner crashes through the door to (not kidding) floss his teeth. I am irate because it is all so loud.

My head hurts.

I attempt to sign up for a monthly plan as he crashes back out the door.

The form on the site does not work. The fields to enter the information that will give this massive probably terrible company money will not let me give them the money.

I restart my browser and we all know the pain of losing 54 tabs about fungus metabolism, crochet moss stitch borders, misophonia and flu symptoms.

The form does not work again. I submit a ticket because that’s some bullshit.

My partner crashes through the door again as I am trying to log in to my account on the PS4.

Success! 

I see shows! And movies! Fuck you! I want Game of Thrones! I know I do NOT! but for background comfort Seasons 1-4 I DO!

No success. Subscription deactivated January 31, 2020 (lol)

To the computer. Now I know I can just log in! Right?

FUCKING WRONG, DING DONG. 

I log in and it takes me to the pages of shows. And moves. And Game of Thrones. It has my settings and playback. Parental controls. Informing me that my subscription has expired. 

I click and click and click and click. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GIVE YOU MONEY I SHOULDN’T GIVE YOU.

I fucking lose it and open tumblr. to write this UNHINGED post. 

I have a fever. This is not my fault.

Oh look my partner is back crashing through the door AS I WRITE THIS because he believes I want cheese sticks.

I do not.

I want him to go. 

And be fucking quiet.

I have submitted a ticket telling HBO their form sucks and now I have to go find it again. I feel shamed by this company who sucks at getting money I want to give them. 

I begin to question this decision but I want Game of Thrones.

Oh my god he’s vacuuming downstairs and it is hitting the coffee table again and again.

And again.

Even though my first part of this 17 part journey made me log in, I log out again to find the part where they tell me to give them money to try again. 

I find it. But first must check to see if my complaint about their stupid form registered.

It did and now a person named Anne is asking me for billing information over email that everyone in 2022 tells you NOT TO SEND OVER EMAIL. 

HBO WHY ARE YOU RELYING ON ANNE TO COLLECT YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION THERE ARE FARMERS WHO DONT HAVE THE INTERNET WHO DO BETTER THAN YOU I HAVE PURCHASED YARN FROM THEM SO MUCH MORE EASILY THAN THIS WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK IS THIS

I use the form because cybersecurity awareness month training (mandatory thanks to my my employer who made me work today) told me not to send information to Anne over email.

I consider sending a ticket to my company’s infosec bragging about this moment but that is too unhinged even for this. 

at least right now.

My partner is arguing with the vaccuum.

It’s ok because the form works. Sort of. The fields highlight in a very “website I made on geocities in 1998″ kind of way. Cybersecurity training did not cover this. But I don’t know many Anne’s I like, so let’s do this.

SUCCESS.

I am ready. I am ready to watch Game of Thrones. And I am ready to send this entire text, unedited, to Anne.

And if my fever gets high enough, my infosec department.

~fin~

Credit scene: my partner storming through the door twice while I fucked with the tags

[appleciders]

Rachel + Leah + Water, the Director’s Cut!

Okay, so I made this gifset exploring Rachel and Leah and the ocean, but because there’s a ten gif limit and a major point of gifsets is for them to look nice, I had to sacrifice a lot of the behind the scenes thoughts and initial versions that came along the way. I still wanted to talk about them though, because I found a lot of them really cool, so I figured I’d stick all that in this post. It’s gonna get long, so you can find the rest under the cut!

So first up, we have Leah as we first see her in the water. (I’m using shitty screenshots because tumblr has a 2mb limit for gifs on text posts and I don’t feel like compressing these down lmao.) Here, she’s face-down, unconscious, floating on a fragment of the plane. This is the first time we see any of the girls in the water.

As Leah gives her dramatic speech talks to the detectives, we see flashbacks to the girl’s lives pre-island. There we see that one of them already has a very strong relationship with the water already, in her before-life: Rachel.

Rachel, as we know, is a diver. We see her take a magnificent tumble into the pool, but when she surfaces, her coach is sternly head-shaking. She corrects Rachel’s form, and after she walks away, Rachel echoes the correction, clearly frustrated with herself. 

Back to Leah. We next see Leah waking up on her lil chunk of flotsam. When she realizes what the hell’s going on, she does what we all would do and starts screaming in terror.

Her panic gets interrupted by Jeannette’s classic Raise Your Glass ringtone. (This was my alarm for two years in high school, and when I watched this for the first time I did have an out-of-body experience). She swims her way over to the Hello Kitty suitcase and—irrationally—unzips it, but we’ll cut her some slack because she’s in some serious shock. As she tries to get the phone, it slips through her fingers and starts spiraling down to the bottom of the ocean. She dives after it.

Unfortunately, she quickly runs out of air and has to give up. She then spots Jeannette floating nearby, checks her out, judges her to be “just a little roughed up,” and then sees land and has a big oh-thank-fuck moment. Because we saw Gretchen’s team placing all of the girls, we know that Linh and Leah were the only two that were put out in the open water. The other girls were put in the beach, or, in Martha’s case, near the shore. This was probably done to quell some of Leah’s suspicions about the crash, but it does give me a couple questions about how they got the other girls wet—did they hose them all down? Pour a couple buckets over their heads? Bob each of them up and down a couple times in a big net like fries in a fryer?? 

Anyway, not important. 

Next that we see, Leah has pulled Jeannette/Linh in from the water. (My Australian parents, who can never pass up an opportunity to give ocean safety tips, chimed in at this point in our first watch to say “See how she’s doing it! You always want to hold someone from behind and pull them in that way. Good job, well done.” So there’s some approval for you, Leah.) As Leah nears the shore, Dot and Toni come tearing in and they help pull the two of them out. 

The rest of the episode after that really only concerns fresh water—Toni and Shelby set out in search of it, to no avail, and Nora helpfully plugs Diet Coke reminds us multiple times that sugar’s heavier than water, so “sugar sinks.” We do set up a goal for the next couple episodes, though: Rachel says, “I'm gonna swim out to the plane tomorrow. See if I can find anything,” and Leah volunteers to come with. Rachel gives her a nod of respect.

Moving on to episode two, we have Rachel and Leah’s (iconic) first real conversation. Rachel says she’s still going out to the wreckage. Leah looks out and looks back at her, incredulous, and says, “Rachel, the water’s insane.” Here’s a big recurring association—the water and “insanity.” (I use insanity here because that’s the language they use, along with psycho/crazy. In no way does that reflect my actual beliefs about their behavior nor am I condoning the way they use those words.) Leah points out the rip current (“well done,” said my mum), and explains her very brief stint as a norcal surfer. Rachel still looks set on going, but then Leah says:

Turns out, Leah can be as ripe with foreshadowing as Fatin. This marks the appearance of their second main association with the ocean—death. After she says this, Leah turns Rachel’s attention inland, and the two agree to climb a big hill to scope out their situation.

Episode two is also obviously Rachel’s episode, so we see a lot of her relationship with diving. 

We see her plunge over and over and over again, drilling technique and form, but despite all her hard work, we learn her coach advised her to quit the team. Instead, Rachel throws herself in twice as hard, and ends up with an eating disorder. By the time the nationals come around, she’s too physically weak to dive safely, and she ends up hitting her head as she goes down. She surfaces in the pool with blood flowing around her.

She refuses to see that as the end of her diving career. She says she’s gonna “get back out there” and “be fucking great again” and she tells Nora at the end of the episode that she needs her to let her believe that.

In episode three, we finally see Leah and Rachel’s trip out to the plane! Nora comes along with them, her relationship with Rachel smoothed over after the events of ep two. “Nora’s a good swimmer,” Rachel explains as she invites her, “We were both water babies.” Water’s clearly been central to Nora and Rachel’s identities since they were really young. 

The three of them make their escape from the rest of the girls as the topic of building a shelter comes up. “Not interested in putting down roots!” Rachel calls. In keeping with the elements theme, Rachel isn’t looking to be grounded. She climbs super high into the air and she dives deep into the water, but earth isn’t her thing. (See: the quicksand scene. Whoops.)

Anyway, the three of them paddle out into the water. Rachel dives down, scopes out the plane, tells Nora she doesn’t expect her to “fucking free dive in open water,” and then looks to Leah and asks if she’s ready. Leah reluctantly agrees. 

We get our first shot Rachel swimming down into the ocean and our second shot of Leah (first the phone, second the plane). In the wreckage of the plane, they discover the black box, affixed to the wall. They keep trying to wrench it free, but it’s stuck, and Leah—who’s primary activity is, like, reading—keeps having to surface for air. Rachel gets frustrated and grabs her leg, holding her down. 

Leah screams and fights, but Rachel doesn’t let go. We cut away, and when we see them again, they’ve emerged victorious (Rachel) and drowned as dogs after a bath (Leah and Nora) with the black box in hand. Later, Leah mutters the above line to Fatin, calling Rachel a “psychopath.” For those keeping score at home, here’s where we refer back to the association between water and “insanity.”

In episode four, the ocean benevolently bestows a bag of takis upon Nora, and we have our whole shelter-building shebang. It’s all very land-based until Leah and Fatin go head to head, which ends with Fatin smearing her blood all over Leah’s face. Leah, with her usual flair, strips off her clothes as she walks into the ocean. She stays down there, passively letting the water wash the blood from her face.

This shot parallels a couple things. First, the drifting blood visually parallels Rachel in the pool after her diving injury. Second, we have Rachel staring out at the water where Leah’s disappeared and going, “Man, that is some real Virginia Woolf-type shit.” Dot has no fucking clue what she means, so Fatin interprets: “It means that bitch is crazy. She said you were the psychopath of the group.” Now it’s Leah who’s done something in the water that’s been deemed insane. The water and “insanity;” the water and accusations of insanity within their relationship. 

Those accusations pop up in episode five, but the episode is pretty focused on the inland search for Fatin, and revolves around fresh water, not salt water. (That could be a whole nother post lol.) It’s in episode six where we again see these two return to the ocean. 

Rachel is diving in the ocean! For fun! She’s picking up pretty shells (which granted isn’t the safest thing to do in the pacific, cone snails are not our friends), and she’s grinning, and she’s generally enjoying herself. With the, uh, finale situation, we’re probably not gonna get to see her smile for a bit, which is sad, because she should get to do this more often! This shot visually echoes her diving for the plane and Leah diving for the phone, except she can be in a better mood because there is no end goal. 

So she goes diving, ends up finding a bunch of mussels, gathers ‘em up, and brings ‘em back to camp. They all chow down, but wind up with serious food poisoning. Martha and Toni ring death’s doorbell a couple of times. Rachel blames herself—she’s the one that went swimming out there, she brought the mussels back. Again, we see that connection between the ocean and death.

And that association comes back bright an early in ep seven! The tide surges higher than they’ve ever seen, taking down their shelter and leaving them all scrambling. 

While Leah convinces Fatin that her life is more important than her suitcase, Rachel is left with a decision: help Nora, screaming to her from where she’s clinging to a rock for dear life, or grab the black box. In a move that contrasts Toni’s immediate and unquestioning aid of Martha, Rachel picks the black box. 

After, when they’re debriefing, Nora’s quick to bring it up. She doesn’t hide her hurt. “It happened so fast,” she says, “we all acted irrationally. Like Fatin, who jumped into a rip current to save her toothbrush. Or Rachel, who left me for fucking dead.” I think this counts as a double whammy for the “insanity” and death count—I think “acted irrationally” is as close as Nora gets to calling anyone crazy, and is honestly a better descriptor of all the other instances of “insanity” that we’ve seen, and the ocean was the source of the very real risk to Nora’s life. 

(Honestly, I think Rachel thought she was making a rational choice here—just with some grim fucking calculus. Still, given that nobody’d responded to the black box by then, I think it was a decision fueled by the need to keep hold of hope more than actual rationality.) In a fun contrast to the rest of the episode, it’s Leah that keeps a level head in this situation. 

The rest of the episode is low on water scenes, though Leah’s paranoia about Shelby is fueled by her sneaking off to the water, which could fall under the “insanity” category. It also marks where Nora begins to take an active role in breaking apart Rachel’s fantasy about diving again. 

Ep eight has one of the best montages in a series of great montages, with the playing in the water scene! A plane has seen them, they’re gonna be saved, and they all get to get high and act like kids. 

I have this lingering and probably irrational concern that the entire water play scene is choreographed and that it’s chock-full of foreshadowing. Like I know to some extent they likely were just like “yeah guys go goof off in the water,” but like...the wave pulling Rachel and Nora apart here...I mean.... (Rachel is probably gonna get more blood on Dot in the near future, too. ) That aside, their horseplay gets interrupted when Leah notices some blood on Dot, which Rachel realizes is her own period blood.  

Fatin then chimes in with her ever-gleeful foreshadowing: “Shark week for Rachel.” So while this whole encounter with the water actually seems mostly good for a change, it’s colored by the tie-in to what we know is coming.

In ep nine, reality has set in that rescue isn’t imminent. Everyone’s starving, Leah has started to spiral, and Rachel’s unusually skittish. By the tide’s edge, Nora asks for her help fishing, but Rachel refuses, saying that she’s weak. Nora flicks water at her, and Rachel flinches, clearly scared.

Starvation seems to have triggered Rachel’s trauma around the water leftover from her diving accident. In response, Nora reaches out a hand and says, “Let’s go for a walk.”

Meanwhile, Leah’s spiral has reached critical. She starts ranting about the ocean and the water and pushes past Dot, sprinting into the waves:

And so she’s taken to heart the way they think Jeannette’s body “escaped” the island—the tide—and it’s been spun like cotton candy in her head. She’s right, technically—Jeanette/Linh’s body was moved off the island by boat, and there’s definitely an argument that if they really did all swim out Gretchen’s team would save them, or at least try to. This is also a very real suicide attempt. So it’s kind of a culmination of the threats of death and mental health issues that’ve been wrapped up in the ocean since the start.

On Rachel’s end, Nora has taken her up to a cliff. Rachel calls the whole thing “borderline insane,” walking up when they’re so low on energy, but Nora tells her she needs to make a truce between herself and the water. 

“You’re afraid of it now,” she says, and Rachel replies that, “All it ever did was make me sick.” Nora immediately surges forward to say “That’s not true!” Rachel, incredulous, says, “Isn't this what you want? For me to hang it up? For me to forget the whole fucking diving game?” Nora says, “No. I don't know. I don't want you to forget you.” She then tells Rachel she should dive off the end of the cliff, that she marked it to make sure it’s safe. Rachel says she can’t.

There’s a lot here. First, there’s the first time we’ve seen of Rachel explicitly call herself sick. In episode two, even in a treatment center, she still denies it, says she’s just an athlete who knows what it takes. But now she’s reached a place where she acknowledges her eating disorder—and also probably her recent illness with the mussels—and ties it directly to the water. It’s the reason she’s sick.

Nora’s fear that Rachel will forget herself also just hammers home how central the water has always been to Rachel’s identity. Cutting herself off from the water would be cutting off a core part of herself. (...whoops) And we’ve seen that it does bring her actual joy, when she’s allowed to relax with it, but she’s had such traumatic associations rolled up into it now. Nora doesn’t want Rachel to do diving as a sport anymore, because of how badly it’s hurt her, but she does want Rachel to keep diving and swimming as like, a form of unevaluated personal expression.

At the moment that Rachel’s refusing to jump, she and Nora hear shouts from the mainland. They see Fatin and Dot screaming after Leah. Confused, Nora asks, “Where is she going?” but Rachel understands immediately, with absolute certainty, without needing to be told—“To fucking drown to death.” Seven episodes after Leah called heading into the water a death wish, she’s finally proving it true. Rachel squares her shoulders, takes a few deep breaths, and sprints into a dive. 

Unlike all her other dives high altitude dives we’ve seen her do, this dive isn’t qualified based on aesthetics. This dive matters because of what it will do, not on how it looks. And what it does do is bring her into the ocean, where she needs to be for her friend. So with strong strokes, she swims out towards Leah.

When she reaches her, she takes hold of her, pulls her into her chest from behind. She begins to swim with her back to shore. This rescue directly parallels Leah’s rescue of Linh that we talked about above. It also, as the Out in the Wilds podcast insightfully pointed out, really calls Rachel and Leah’s relationship back to the beginning. Whereas Rachel had initially held Leah down in the water, putting her in danger of drowning, Rachel here pulls her out of the water, saving her from drowning. Together, they make it all the way back to the shore.

Finally (and, like, if you’ve made it all the way down here? bless you. thank you), we have episode ten. The ocean doesn’t really figure into episode ten until the very end. Rachel has had a long episode of healing—she’s happy to be full and she’s in a good place with her sister and things seem to be going pretty okay. She decides to heal her relationship with the water, too. She heads out, telling Nora that she’s “Just gonna float, Nor. Just float.”

Just floating. After all the times we saw her plunging into the water, purposefully, with frustration, with drive, with so much to prove and with so much sacrifice and self-abuse to prove it with, Rachel finally just wants to float. She wants to let herself relax. She wants to let the water carry her.

Of course, that means there has to be, like, a massive marine carnivore waiting to mistake her for a seal.

Visually, this shot really parallels the opening shot of Leah on the fragment of plane. Instead of being face-down, though, she’s face-up, and she’s conscious, just not of the threat from below. 

The shark bites.

In a horrible parallel to Leah’s Virginia Woolf moment and Rachel’s diving accident, we see blood pool in the water. Rachel is pulled under. The girls on the land start screaming and running toward her. We know Rachel doesn’t die, but this is still a near-death experience, one that probably cost her her arm. Leah, covered in dirt and her own blood after crawling out of the pit Nora led her into, can only stand and watch, shocked and horrified.

So that got! Way longer than I meant it to! And honestly most of this was condensed into very concise tags in a post I made a few days ago! But if you made it all the way down here, you’ve now seen everything I wanted to fit into that gifset but couldn’t. Thanks for sticking with me, friend <3

[wtf-yoongi]

Stage lights. ‹‹part I of III››

pairing | jungkook x reader

summary | you visit jungkook on tour for the first time

genre/warnings | high levels of fluff + relatively new relationship + warning: features jk being extremely tired in between sets + but it’s ok because you look after him afterwards and now my heart is clenching 

words | about 7k total (part I is 2,034)

note | kinda belongs in the same universe as this one, but can be read separately. i got carried away and wrote this huge thing, so i decided to separate it into three parts. i hope you like it 🖤 p.s.: the other two will be posted in the next few days. also: have i mentioned i love jk and want him to have the whole world?

Your phone vibrates repeatedly inside of your pocket, but you can’t really reach for it while trying to get your luggage out of the conveyor belt, can you? You run towards your red, small-sized suitcase, thankful that you were fast enough to reach it before you had to wait it go around again.

When the tiny wheels are finally on the ground, you retrieve your phone to check the texts.

Hae is there to pick you up, ok? She has expert level English like me lol

She’s also wearing a bright orange jacket so you recognize her

Let me know when you’re with her?

You don’t really feel like replying now, choosing to look in the direction of the exit to see if you could already locate a bright orange spot somewhere instead.

It’s not that you are trying to ignore him – quite the opposite. To be completely honest, your nerves are killing you.

It all feels even more real now that your feet are on the ground and your brain keeps telling yourself oh my god he’s somewhere in this city breathing this air while at the same time trying to calm down. It has been months since you last saw each other, work and classes getting in the way, but the day has finally come. 

And you couldn’t be more thankful – or nervous. There’s something about seeing him after such a long time that, deep down, worries you. Yeah, you talk every day, but texting and video calls only go so far. They’re not the real deal. And even though 99% of the time all that comes to mind is how badly you want to hold him close and hug him for hours, there’s 1% of doubt there for some reason. 

Seeing someone after a very long time just gets awkward sometimes. And you don’t want things to be awkward, not even a second. You only have a few days together before you have to go back home, there’s no time for that – no time to lose.

You finally start moving again, holding onto your phone a little bit too tightly and dragging your suitcase behind you. The exit doors are not far from carousel number twelve and you can see there are a number of people waiting for arriving passengers: family members, friends, nicely-dressed people holding up iPads with fancy last names… And a young woman wearing the most absurd orange jacket.

Jungkook must have shown Hae a picture of you before – she’s quick and doesn’t think twice before waving shyly in your direction as soon as you’re through the automatic doors. You smile at her kindly and notice she’s immediately reaching for her phone to text someone. It wouldn’t surprise you if it is Jungkook himself or another staff member that could let him know the news.

“Hi,” she greets with an excited smile. “I’m Hae, it’s a pleasure to meet you! How was your flight?”

It intimidates you a little seeing such a sweet-looking person your age be so formal and polite around you. She looks like she could be your friend – a friend that insists on carrying your small suitcase even though you have no problem at all doing it yourself.

When you’re inside the black SUV, you text Jungkook back.

I’m on my way now, please tell Hae to relax and treat me as a friend

It’s kinda freaky how diplomatic she is

A few seconds pass before you get an answer.

Let her be, she’s nice haha

She’s an assistant to the head of PR. Literally her job description includes being as diplomatic as possible

You smile at your phone and then raise your eyes to Hae, who’s sitting on the passenger seat next to the driver. They exchange a few words in Korean, but remain quiet for most of the long ride to the venue.

There’s a little bit of traffic when you’re near the stadium, the influx of cars coming and going more intense the closer it gets. It’s great to see people lining up, singing and dancing in anticipation. The line itself isn’t as long now and you assume most people are already inside. With that, you also realize this is, in fact, your first BTS concert. How weird is that?

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to put this on,” Hae interrupts your thoughts and you turn to her to see a simple black baseball cap in her hands. “I’m really sorry about this, no one’s going to see you, this is just extra precaution. If you could hold onto this and wear it every time you’re outside, that would be ideal.”

You don’t say anything, settling for just nodding in agreement and taking the cap from her hand. As you put it over your head, you wonder if these are going to be some curious few days, filled with first timers. But even if the thought of hiding a relationship is foreign to you, you know, in this case, the price is totally worth it.

The closer you get to the stadium, the louder the cheering seems to get. When Hae opens the door, you find yourself parked next to many other cars and vans, and you can finally hear the sounds clearly – thousands upon thousands of people filling up every seat. She moves to get your luggage from the trunk and you just want to yank it out of her hands to carry it with your own, but stop yourself from doing so at the last second with pursed lips and a let her be in the back of your mind.

With a “follow me, please”, Hae leads the way through a maze of corridors, doors and temporary structures built solely for the single show that’s going to take place in this stadium. It surprises you just how big everything seems to be, the scale of it all, and Jungkook’s pressures kind of seem more real now. Putting yourself in his shoes becomes just a little easier as you can feel the buzz from the fans building some sort of anxiety inside of you.

“They’re inside this room,” she finally speaks again and points to a door with a sign that says ARTIST in big, bold letters. “I’ll see you again when the show starts, ok? Oh, and I’ll take care of your luggage, you don’t have to worry about that.”

You nod and let out a small “thanks” just when she turns the knob and opens the door, moving her hand to signal you can go in. You can hear many people talking before even seeing anything, but you’re not ready for the sheer amount of people working in a single room when you finally peak inside.

Everything looks like the most organized mess ever. There are black labeled boxes and bags everywhere and people moving up and down with Canon cameras, freshly-ironed shirts, makeup brushes and everything in between. They all seem to be speaking or laughing quietly and in a rush, their Korean rolling out of their tongues so easily it startles you when you hear something you can actually understand. 

“Hey, you’re here!”

You suddenly stop scanning the room to turn to your immediate left, where a familiar face is smiling at you. Namjoon has a water bottle in his hands, which he promptly leaves on top of a table to greet you properly.

“It’s so nice to see you! How are you doing?” He asks and leans in for a quick hug. When you separate, he’s once again speaking, but this time you don’t understand a word except for Jungkook-ah in the beginning of the sentence.

All of a sudden, you feel like all eyes are on you. People working all around stop for a second to see you for the first time and you start to wonder what exactly Namjoon said after calling Jungkook’s name.

It all lasts less than a second, though, as the staff at least looks like they have more important things to do than looking at a stranger – and you’re deeply thankful for that. To your right, you see both Jimin and Hoseok waving hello from their seats where they're having their hair done. You wave back at them with a smile and it isn’t until you turn your head to face forward again that you see him quickly moving towards you.

Jungkook has the most absurd smile on his face, dimples in full display – and, somewhere inside, you melt completely. There’s something different in him and you can finally see it now that he’s in front of you. His jaw looks more defined, his hair texture is healthier than the last time you saw him and there’s something about the way his eyes glimmer that certainly can’t be captured on camera. You have to be face to face to see it.

He takes longer strides the closer he gets to you and you feel like he’s fighting the urge to run altogether. It all happens so fast – you can’t even extend your arms in his direction before he’s crashing into you, the air leaving your lungs in a low humpf. Jungkook surrounds you with his body, his arms tightly holding on, while you do your best to press a hand to his back at the same time you’re trying to hold the cap on top of your head so it doesn’t fall to the ground.

It is overwhelming, but in a good way. Suddenly, that 1% of doubt is a thing of the past.

Jungkook lets go all of a sudden and looks into your eyes, soon grabbing your hand to lead you out of the room again without saying a word. He’s taking long steps and you have to be quick on your feet to follow.

“Where are we going?” You ask and you have to adjust the strap of your backpack before it falls from all the moving around.

Jungkook doesn’t answer, though, and swiftly pulls you into another room nearby. This one is much smaller, you notice, and there’s no one inside. When he closes the door behind you, it gets quiet and, somehow, familiar.

“My God, I’ve missed you,” he says under his breath, pulling you close again. He’s calmer now, taking his time to bury his face in your neck and take a deep breath. “I’ve missed you so much, I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I’ve missed you, too, you know? A lot,” you reply, running your hands up and down his covered back to comfort him. “A whole lot.”

“I’m sorry I had to drag you out of the room like that,” he speaks quietly before taking a deep breath – and you can feel the air he exhales soon after. “Too many people watching.”

“It’s ok, I understand.”

Everything feels so still you can swear, for a moment, that the whole world has stopped. Jungkook is slowly rocking both of your bodies from side to side, humming a song you can’t recognize, and it seems impossible to fall more in love with him than right now. You close your eyes, taking everything in, and you can smell the slight scent of fresh laundry in his clothes.

“And I wanted to kiss you,” he admits out of nowhere. “Can’t do that in front of everybody.”

Jungkook gently disconnects his body from yours, taking his time to look at you now. He softly places a hand on your face as if he’s struggling to believe you’re there and you’re real. When he smiles, your heart melts further – and you don’t know how that’s even possible.

“Can I?”

You smile back, nodding at the same time you reach for the back of his neck. “You can kiss me a hundred times.”

“Just a hundred?” Jungkook asks with a disappointed voice, leaning in closer now. “What happens if I want more than that?”

“You get… Refills,” you say and laugh at your own choice of word. “Endless kiss refills. Does that sound good?”

“Hmm,” he hums, kissing you and tasting your lips for the first time in what seems like forever. “Sounds great.”

He laughs and leans in again.

☁️ read part II here ☁️

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[heauxplesslydevoted]

Resentment Ch. 1 (Ethan x MC)

Summary: After 2 months of not seeing each other, Ethan and Naomi do not have a pleasant reunion.

A/N: So...I’ve been writing this for the past 2 weeks. Open Heart 2 is ripe with angst and untapped drama. Tbh, this is my 5th draft, and I kept deleting and writing, and deleting and re-writing this, and I had to step away multiple times, as this was probably be one of my more draining fics to write. But anyway, if you’re still reading this long winded ass note, thank you lol. And enjoy, as always!

Tags: @ao719 @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @choicesobsessedd @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @perriewinklenerdie @doroshi-desu @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @lapisreviewsstuff @akacalliope @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramsey @the-soot-sprite @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @dr-nancy-house @adrian-motherfucking-raines

~v~

Seeing Ethan Ramsey again nearly knocked the wind out of her. It feels like she saw a ghost. But here’s here, at Donahue’s, strolling through the garden as if this is any other night. As if he didn’t disappear off of the face of the earth for 2 months.

Naomi didn’t plan on having such a visceral reaction to seeing him, but she has little to no control over her body these days. Her heart speeds up, beating twice as fast, a cold sweat breaks out, starting at her forehead, and there’s the flip of her stomach and unmistakable taste of bile rising in her throat.

‘Do not throw up,’ she silently begs herself. ‘Do not throw up. Please, keep it together, Valentine.’

The chant doesn’t work, the nausea hitting her hard, like a wave crashing against the shore. She jumps out of her seat, ignoring the looks of confusion from her friends, and makes a beeline to the restroom, pushing past the other patrons at the bar. She barely makes it into a stall before she’s on her knees, emptying the contents of her stomach into a dirty public toilet.

Naomi isn’t sure how long she’s like this, embarrassingly clutching the toilet, but a knock at the stall door breaks her out of her trance. “It’s occupied!”

“It’s Sienna,” the voice on the other side says softly. “Can I come in?”

“Yes.”

The door swings open slowly and Sienna attempts to squeeze into the small space. It’s a tight squeeze, but she manages to make it work.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Naomi mumbles weakly. “You didn’t have to follow me.”

“Yes I did,” Sienna argues. She helps Naomi to her feet and pulls at the roll of cheap toilet paper. She bunches it up and wipes the corner of Naomi’s mouth. “You’re as pale as a ghost.”

“I feel like I’ve just seen one,” Naomi quips back. “Let’s just say I did not expect to see Dr. Ramsey here tonight.”

“You didn’t know he was coming back?” Sienna asks. “I thought you two were close.”

Naomi thought they were close too. But she got ghosted. It was jarring, going from sleeping with Ethan and openly flirting with him, to him being her boss again, to him disappearing and cutting off all communication within a span of 3 days. “I thought we were too.”

“How do you think it’ll be, working with him tomorrow?”

“I have no idea what to expect,” Naomi replies honestly. “Hopefully the rest of the team is nice.”

Sienna lifts Naomi up, helping her stand on her feet again. They exit the stall and Naomi washes her hands furiously like she’s about to perform surgery.

They walk out of the bathroom, Sienna with a protective arm around her friend’s waist. The rest of their friends are now inside, at their usual booth.

They all stare at Naomi, and she hates it. Now they’re probably going to think of her as the weirdo who threw up upon seeing her boss (an ex-lover, though not everyone is privy to that information).

“You just missed the wildest shit,” Bryce says, almost breathless. “Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Thorne nearly got into a fight!”

That was the last thing Naomi expected to hear. “What?”

“Thorne was being a real creep, and he tried to feel up some young girl. He touched her and she broke his hand!” Elijah exclaims. “He got loud and rowdy, he pushed her down, and Ethan came out of nowhere, swooping in like freaking Batman. I thought he was going to snap Thorne’s neck at one point.”

“Where is the girl?” Naomi asks. 

“She ran out of here as soon as she could.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Naomi murmurs, mostly to herself.

“Are you okay?” Bryce asks. “I’ve never seen you get sick before.”

“Whatever virus is fermenting in your body, please keep it away from me,” Jackie says, not even giving Naomi the chance to respond.

“Jackie!” Sienna tsks in annoyance. “Have some compassion.”

“She’s either drunk or it’s the stomach flu,” Jackie says with a shrug. “She’ll survive a little teasing.”

“It’s okay, Sienna,” Naomi insists. She loves her friend’s protective nature, but it really isn’t necessary. “You don’t have to go into mother hen mode.”

“Fine. But I’m making you soup after work tomorrow.”

“Deal.”

Reggie announces last call, and the gang starts talking about their post-bar plans. Be it getting food, going downtown, or just going home. Naomi drowns out the conversation as her eyes settle onto Ethan. His back is turned to her and Naomi notices that he’s the only one left at the bar while Reggie is cleaning up.

“Does last call not apply to you?” Naomi asks, getting his attention.

“Reggie and I go way back. We have an arrangement,” Ethan says simply.

“An arrangement.” Naomi rolls her eyes as she repeats the words. “Is that what you call a friendship?”

“I don’t have friends. But...I wouldn’t mind you joining me if you were so inclined.”

Naomi weighs her options. She can go home and put this night behind her, or she can stay out with Ethan. And actually talk to him.

She turns back to her friends. “You guys go on ahead. I want to check in about tomorrow with Dr. Ramsey.”

She doesn’t believe that excuse for one second. And if her friends don’t believe it either, they don’t say anything. Sienna just tells her to not stay out too late, before they all leave, going their separate ways.

Once they’re gone, Naomi joins Ethan at the bar. She looks at, really looks at him. He’s still the same handsome guy, just more...rugged. He’s much more tan than she remembers, it looks like he’s gained weight—muscle, not fat—and he’s sporting an entirely new look.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey,” she muses.

Ethan looks down at his green jacket, a vast departure from the sweaters and button ups he usually wears.

“This jacket’s been through a lot with me,” he explains, toying with the sleeve.

“I like it.”

She doesn’t miss the way he perks up at the compliment, almost as if he was hoping she’d say something. A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Duly noted. And the beard?”

Ethan doesn’t know why he needs her stamp of approval so badly, but the validation she gives him feels nice. He likes to know that she thinks he looks good.

“It looks good on you,” Naomi answers honestly. Ethan scratches the beard, his fingers flying towards it unconsciously at her words. He nods, soaking in her praise.

“I’ve gotten used to it.”

Naomi looks around as an almost awkward silence settles between the two of them. She’s now actively aware of the fact that it’s just the two of them, alone.

“Why don’t we move this outside?” Ethan suggests, some of the tension dissipating. “It’ll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can. You want something to drink?”

Naomi’s stomach flips at the mention of alcohol. “You know what I want? A cup of ice water.”

Ethan’s eyebrow quirks up at the answer. They’re in a bar and she wants...water? He shrugs but heads behind the bar, nonetheless. Grabbing a Pilsner glass, he fills it to the top with ice and he also finds a bottle of water. He hands them off to Naomi. “For you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” They make their way outside. It’s so quiet now that everyone is gone. It feels peaceful. Ethan drops down in a chair near the fire pit and Naomi joins.

“I can see why you like it here.”

“Because nobody’s annoying me?” Ethan jokes.

“More or less,” Naomi concedes. “It’s peaceful.” Ethan nods in agreement. “So...how was it, being in the Amazon?”

“It was quite the experience. It kept me on my toes.”

“Fighting an epidemic in a different country sounds...thrilling. And scary. You’re brave for doing it.”

Ethan snorts. Naomi always manages to see the best in him, even when he doesn’t deserve it. “That wasn’t bravery.”

Naomi looks down at her lap. “You didn’t keep in touch. Two whole months without any form of communication seems extreme, don’t you think? Especially after everything that’s happened with us?”

“Everything that happened between us is exactly why I didn’t contact you.”

“192,” Naomi says. 

“Huh?”

“192. That’s how many times I’ve called you in the past 2 months. I also sent 75 texts and 30 emails. You could have responded to at least one of those.”

Hearing the numbers out loud makes Naomi feel ridiculous, like a stalker. And Ethan just feels...awful. He remembers his chest going tight every time he saw her name flash across his screen. He remembers the restraint it took him to not call her back, or reach out in any way. He needed to stay away. It was for the best, for both of them.

“Naomi, if we’re going to work together on the diagnostics team, we need a fresh start. Your professional development is too important to jeopardize it with whatever...what is was that we had.”

Ethan probably would’ve been better off taking this glass of ice water and throwing it in her face. The callousness in his voice chilled her to the core. “That’s how you’d describe it? As ‘whatever’?”

Ethan sighs heavily. Of course his relationship with the younger woman meant something to him, but if he was going to be her boss, they needed boundaries. There had to be a line.

“Pouring my heart out to you on multiple occasions and vice versa, secretly saving our boss’s life, you bringing Mrs. Martinez’s son to my ethics hearing, the sex, it all just culminates to a...whatever. What? Is what we went through just a casual experience in the life of Ethan Ramsey?”

“Of course not, but Naomi, I can’t go down this road with you again. We need to have a reset if things are going to work.”

She doesn’t know why the word ‘reset’ makes her laugh, but it does. She laughs, hard, almost maniacally, until her sides hurt and she can barely breathe. Ethan says nothing, staring at her in confusion.

“You know what, Ethan? Fuck you.”

That catches him off guard. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me loud and clear. Fuck. You. You’re a coward. And a runner. You run at the slightest hint of something being hard, or if you have to face your own emotions and vulnerabilities. You run off, drinking yourself silly and keeping your head in the sand, and then you come waltzing back as if nothing happened, but guess what? Life still happens. There is no reset, no do-overs, no pauses. Time still moves forward.”

Tears prick the corners of her eyes and she wills herself to not cry in front of him. He doesn’t deserve any more of her vulnerability. She doesn’t know why it hurts so much, but it does. The idea of him moving through life as if what they shared was minuscule and insignificant burns. It causes a sharp ache in her chest she didn’t realize she had the capacity to feel.

“While you were in South America, ignoring the almost 400 pieces of correspondence I sent, I was still here, still dealing with shit, still caring about you, worrying about you and your safety every fucking day. I don’t have the luxury of turning my feelings on and off whenever I see fit, and I don’t get to delude myself into thinking I can turn back time.”

How many times are they going to play this game before she realizes she’s always going to be the loser? She and Ethan get close, he rejects her but leaves just enough space and opportunity to keep her hanging on.

Naomi wraps her arms around her midsection and slightly curls into herself. Not even her own embrace is soothing at this point. The rejection stings, and she feels...stupid. Why does she keep holding out hope for Ethan, hoping he’ll want her the same way she wants him? Why does she keep coming back, waiting diligently like a little puppy, nipping at his ankles for the slightest bit of attention? Maybe she’s just a glutton for pain.

“If you want to hit the reset button, you can do it by yourself. I’m not playing that game with you.” Naomi abruptly stands up, clutching onto the back of her chair for stability. “Goodnight.”

Panic settles in his chest. He doesn’t want things with her to end like this, with her hating him. He wants her to stay. He wants to take back everything he just said. “Naomi, I–”

“Save it!” Whatever he’s about to say, whatever line it is that’ll feed her just enough false hope to keep hanging on, she doesn’t want to hear it.

After gathering her belongings, she turns on her heel, looking for the exit. Her entire body is rigid, defensive and ready to strike at any given moment, and she feels like she’s going to throw up again, which is something she truly does not have time for.

She’s fully prepared to walk away from him with whatever shred of dignity she still has, but she stops herself. She turns around, facing Ethan again.

“I called you a lot while you were gone. I left countless voicemails until your mailbox was completely full. Did you listen to any of them?”

“I haven’t listened.” Ethan feels ashamed by the answer, and he refuses to meet her big doe eyes, opting to look at the ground.

Naomi doesn’t dwell on the answer. She shakes off the hurt, and powers through.

“Last Wednesday, at 5:21 am, I called. You obviously didn’t answer, and I left a message. I’ll set the scene for you because I’ll never forget the moment. I was sitting in my bathtub, crying, almost hysterically. It was the type of crying that gets Meryl Streep and Viola Davis Oscar nominations, the kind that makes you feel sick to your stomach. But I live with 3 other people, so I had to sob into a face towel until the worst of it passed. And then I called you. Logically, I knew you probably weren’t going to answer, but I figured one last Hail Mary couldn’t hurt so I did it anyway. 

In the voicemail, I practically begged you to talk to me. To answer at least one of my calls. It was so...desperate. And pitiful. The old Naomi would rather get buried alive than to ever be so emotionally available and needy, but I didn’t care. In that moment, I needed you, I needed solace that I thought only you could give me, but I know now that it won’t happen. You’re way too emotionally stunted and unavailable.”

She inhales, something shaky and full of vulnerability, and every bone in her body is screaming out to just shut the fuck up and turn away.

“But you didn’t answer, you didn’t acknowledge it, and I was just absolutely gutted,” Naomi continues. “Because had you answered that call, or called me back some time that day, I would’ve told you that I’m pregnant.”

With that confession, Naomi visibly deflates. It feels like a crushing weight has been lifted off of her chest.

But Ethan feels the exact opposite. Unable to move, he gapes at Naomi. “You-you’re what?”

“Pregnant. 9 weeks, 5 days. It’s the size of an olive at this point, and before you ask, yes, it’s yours.”

Paternity hadn’t even crossed his mind at this point. He’s still stuck on the fact that she’s pregnant. 

“So while it hurts to know what you want a reset, and to pretend we didn’t share anything, it is also literally impossible to do so,” Naomi says with a humorless chuckle. “But don’t worry, I’ve received the message loud and clear. See you at work tomorrow, Doctor. Oh, and congratulations.”

Ethan watches as she leaves, even though he calls her name, asking her to stay. His chest feels tight like someone is squeezing him from the inside, and he struggles to inhale. The revelation stifles him, and he can’t get his bearings.

Unable to do much else, Ethan falls back into his chair. Despite trying his damnedest to get things back on track, it feels as if he’s made everything so much worse.

[chilly-me-softly]

would you like to write one where You and Ben are best friends and do flirts a lot like everyone would think you guys are in a relationship. even Ben and You had a kind of promise that whenever Ben scores a goal you need to give him a reward no matters what he wants. One day he scored a goal, and he asked for the reward by giving him a kiss (lol idk if its weird) and ended up by making out🥺

You and Ben have been friends for so long, you don't even remember how long now. No matter what happens, you are always there for each other; he's that special person you would always call, even at night, because you know he would answer no matter the reason or what he is doing.You're so proud of him, you're not afraid to show it when you go to see the games he plays in, and Ben has certainly managed to make you known due to all the videos in which you're the victim of his jokes.

You're each other's anchor, always ready to cheer each other up if you  need it or kick your ass when you deserve it. And that kind of promise really did come about by accident. Often you used to do something like that to tempt each other to go on at a difficult time or just to challenge each other, to have a few laughs at each other's expense. There was the 'If you bring home that result, I'll buy you dinner to that place you like so much' or 'I bet you can't get that guy to give you his number' and stuff like that. But most of all you liked that Ben took himself a little bit more seriously as a player, that he realized more and more that he was indispensable to the team, to took more initiative.

So you came up with something before the start of that season. You still remembered how proud you were of him the previous season with that goal against Tottenham, even though the team had beaten them sensationally. But you were so excited about that goal that it was impossible to sulk about losing, and that's what you always aimed for.

'For every goal you score this season, you get to choose your prize. Anything you want, Chilwell'

You saw the determination in his eyes, and you regretted not putting up some boundaries because well Ben is unpredictable when it comes to collecting prizes. But a promise is a promise.

The first goal came in October, the first one that paved the way for that game that had seen Leicester win 0-9 against Southampton. And Ben is so happy, but he also played more than ninety minutes in the torrential rain so all he asks you is to snuggle up and enjoy the dinner you made him, because needless to say, once he got off the bus he came straight to you.

The second one arrives in February, and even if it's a draw at the end, there's no way you won't celebrate one of his goals so you wait for what he has to offer you.

"You're such a boring person Ben" you huff and puff by picking up the phone to do what he asked you to do, post on IG your voice text after his goal. You screamed like crazy for minutes, in the background the other fans who were cheering with you.

"Just post it" he giggles, crashed out on his couch.

"Done. But seriously, I thought you would have been more mean. But instead you've already scored twice and each time you were more banal"

"It's not my fault, you ask me right after the game and I don't have the strength to think anything complicated. Next time I'll take my time, okay?"

"Oh so you're already thinking of a next time" you grin raising your eyebrows, he throws you a pillow straight away. "Don't"

You take the pillow off your face and hold it to your chest smiling, happy that your little challenge is taking the right turn.

And there really is a third time. June is when it happens, the first game of the team after the quarantine stop. On the couch at home out of breath because you cheered like crazy at that goal that came after ninety minutes and even if they couldn't take home the three points, you don't care.

You didn't see each other except by video call, both with your families at that time, and you think it was the longest time you've been apart since you met. Even when you fight you don't spend so much time apart, in one way or another always in touch.

You give him some time to think, he already knows the first thing you will ask him as soon as you see him and you don't want him to complain again that it's your fault if he can't think of something more creative.

You see him the next day, he knocks on your door after texting you he was coming. "So?"

"Well, I might have something for you" he's vague as he walks over to the couch and you roll your eyes to the sky.

"Should I guess, or are you gonna tell me sooner or later?"

He giggles, moving slightly on the spot before looking at you. "Can I ask everything right?"

You nod, "Everything. Although maybe the only thing I wouldn't do is kill someone, I mean I'd help you bury them, but the biggest punishment would be yours" you shrug and he laughs, signalling you to go and sit next to him.

"Why would I want to kill somebody?"

"I don't know, that guy took all the glory out of you yesterday with that last-second goal..." you minimize it with a wave of your hand and he looks at you shaking his head.

"Relax, it's nothing illegal"

"Oh, thank god" you put your hand over your heart, relieved, and he sighs.

"So what I want as a reward is... a kiss. A real kiss"

"You what?" you ask wide-eyed, "what are we in high school Chilwell?"

"Why you're always complaining about everything?"

"You should know me by now" you shrug.

"But okay okay, every promise is a debt. I hope you didn't eat onions to make fun of me because I swear this is the time I'm gonna kill you"

He giggles while you're already inches closer to him, "Shut up and kiss me"

Your lips meet immediately afterwards, it's a little touch that proceeds insecure, almost as if you were afraid that he might burst out laughing at you at any moment and make fun of you for actually do it. You move away and your eyes fall automatically on his lips, one of your thumbs touches them gently while neither of you says anything. And then you take that hand to the back of his head, pushing him against your mouth again and give him the real kiss he wanted.

There's something inside you, a strange sensation that doesn't want to let go of that lips. You only do it when you run out of air, resting your forehead on his because in the meantime you've even straddled him.

"We need to talk"

"Yeah, but keep kissing me now" and you don't make him tell you again, the mess you're feeling inside will sort itself out later.

Tag: @emwritesfootball

[khunvegas]

For @tothetrashwhereibelong because this mess deserves to be in this hellsite too lol this post  was the catalyst, my trigger.

Read on AO3    (includes images ;)

---

There is something to be said about the lengths a man would go to woo another man and Alec is sure as hell not going to think about it twice. He’s going above and beyond to woo this particular man.

Magnus Bane, the shy fortune teller that crashed the Mad Hatter Party a few weeks ago. Alec likes beautiful thing and Magnus checks all the boxes but as beautiful as he is, the man is very slippery and Alec barely had the chance to get a name because he could disappear.

But it doesn’t matter. Alec likes challenges— as a party planner, he knows all about challenges and last-minute changes— and Magnus Bane proves to be a challenge worth trying.

Nothing prepared Alec to find Magnus’ Instagram account; he was elated. There were no pictures of the man in question, just about his business and the name of it but that didn’t stop Alec to keep pursuing him. With just a follow he was one step ahead and it was just a matter of time until he could catch the man’s attention.

Wooing requires patience and Alec is all about patience when beautiful men are involved.

He can’t be too straightforward but also not too distant. He knows the moves, he knows what to do and most importantly, he’s not letting this man go.

“I haven’t seen you this glued to your phone since Lady Gaga announced Born This Way. What’s going on?” Simon asks next him, amusement in his voice.

“Excuse you. That song was a hit. Shut up,” Alec grumbles. He doesn’t have to look to know that Simon is rolling his eyes; the man in his screen is more important.

“He found a new beau,” Maia butts in and this time, Alec looks up to see her waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

He narrows his eyes while hearing Simon choking on his cereal. “Are you dating again? Since when?”

“That’s the best part,” Maia says, smiling, before Alec could chime in, “he’s been moping around and he hasn’t even said hi to the man. It’s kind of adorable, actually.”

Alec keeps his eyes narrowed and shook his head. “I’m waiting for the perfect moment, okay? This is important.”

So, yes. Ever since he found Magnus on Instagram, he hasn’t said anything yet. Not because he doesn’t have anything to say but because he’s waiting. Alec is not a creep and he’s not going to send something to him if Magnus doesn’t remember him. There has a to be a moment of recognition from the party, a few likes to his photos and then a follow.

It’s a process, a lot of patience, perfectly executed photos and subtle likes here and there so he doesn’t come off as desperate.

He’s desperate but Magnus doesn’t have to know that.

“How is that going?” Simon asks, his gaze fixed on him. Alec knows his friend and his waiting for an opening to give him shit about his process.

“Well, it’s going…” Alec trails off and Simon raises one eyebrow and smirks, like the fucker knows that this is going pretty slow.

He’s going to shut him up again when he hears the notification sound coming from his phone; looking down he sees that it’s from Instagram and if he’s being honest with himself, his heart stopped for a hot minute.

themagnusbane liked your post

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Everybody shut up!”

Simon throws him a weird look. “No one was talking. What–”

“Shut up. He’s online! I have to post a shirtless picture.” He’s scrolling down his pictures. He needs to find the perfect one, something very aesthetic-like because he’s not basic and he doesn’t just have shirtless pictures.

But this one already caught Magnus’ attention, so he doesn’t want to fuck his opportunity here.

“Alec, what the fuck?” Maia asks.

“I have a limited window to work here.” He’s still scrolling, this has to be perfect. No mistakes here. “It has to be perfect, Maia.”

Alec has no other choice but to rely on the Thirst Bait folder, a folder that is only designed for Magnus. Did he take a bunch of pictures ever since he found him on Instagram? Yes. Are those shirtless? Absolutely. Alec is not ashamed of his body and he’s going to use it to grab attention, sue him.

A little more scrolling and there. The perfect picture.

Some editing here and there, no caption because he wants the attention to be on the picture and post. He puts his phone down, waiting for the amazing sound of another notification while enduring Simon and Maia’s weird look after that outburst.

Again, he’s desperate.

“We don’t even know who this man is. Are you–”

Whatever Simon was going to say was cut off by another notification sound and Alec took his phone, smiling at it.

themagnusbane liked your post

It’s working. Fuck, yes!

He stood up, still looking at his phone and went to his room but not before hearing a “You could just flirt with him directly” from Maia, which Alec responds with a “don’t tell me how to live my life!” over his shoulder.

And after that, over the next few days, Alec post more of him now that it seems Magnus is online more often and whenever he posts a picture of his back and shoulders, Magnus likes those immediately.

Of course, he talks to the man. No time to waste and is then that Magnus admits that he has a thing for hands. Alec doesn’t really remember how they got to that subject— they talk every day all day now— well, okay, he does remember. Magnus said that since he reads hands, he had seen a couple of hands that were beautiful. Alec wasn’t going to judge. In fact, Alec went ahead and send a picture of his own hands and may he say, it was a hit.

Alec is proud. Patience has its fruits. Now he just has to find the moment to ask the man on a date.

 **

 Magnus promised himself that he would stay low and keep his head on his business but his brain is a treacherous thing and the moment Alexander found him on Instagram, Magnus was weak not to take a look.

And what a sight.

Alexander looked good that day when he crashed the party but nothing prepared him to what he saw on his account.

The shirtless pictures are something to behold. Tentatively, he liked one, thinking Alexander wouldn’t see it and color him impressed, because it seemed that it caught the other’s attention.

And then it was a barrage of Alexander, Alexander, Alexander on his feed, gradually, but it was enough for Magnus to want.

He’s a warlock, for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t be wanting a mundane but, God, Alexander might be the exception at this point. His body was clearly made by the angels but the hands were a sin because that triggered a whole another part of his needs that Magnus is almost embarrassed to think about.

Alexander’s hands on his throat, right there on this pulse point; on his waist, keeping him in place on the bed; his hands his inner thighs, forcing him to open his legs even more, his fingers inside him, his fingers on his mouth. Alexander’s hands griping his hair, forcing him to stretch his neck and giving him more space to abuse the tender skin, right there where his neck meet his shoulder.

His hands everywhere.

Yes, he had fantasized about it. It was fine, though, because he was not going to indulge on those fantasies and it’s not like Alexander would ask him on a date anytime soon. It’s a mystery to him that he sent that picture, now that he’s thinking about it.

“You’ve been online lately,” Raphael commented nonchalantly.

“Well, you see, Alexander…”

Raphael raises an eyebrow. “Still with that?”

“I’m still thinking if this is worth it.” Because if he’s going to risk the safety of his life for whatever this is that could potentially turn into something else in the romantic spectrum, he needs to think about the cons and pros. “It’s too early to say.”

“It’s not that I’m interested in your romantic life but you’ve been dragging this for a month. I’m annoyed.”

Magnus turns to send him friend the nastiest look he can muster, to which Raphael only reply with a shrug of his shoulders.

But he’s right. As much as he likes staring at Alexander’s abs— and he likes to do that very much— there’s got to be a point when he says enough is enough and just take a leap. He might be old and jaded but he still can sense when someone is interested in him and Alexander looks like he’s interested.

The problem is Magnus can’t seem to gather the courage to ask the man out, mostly afraid that he’s going to get rejected in the end. It’s what happens when he’s been out of the relationship business for too long.

“I do want to take this to the next step–” There’s a groan of disgust coming from Raphael and well, okay. Point taken. He does want to take that step too but he will keep the details to the minimum– “not that step. I meant a relationship. If that’s something he wants.”

Raphael glances at him and Magnus can already see the gears turning in that head of his but before Raphael can say anything— probably that he’s being stupid— there’s a chime from his phone.

And lo and behold, it’s a text message from Alexander. Somewhere along the barrage of messages on Instagram, they decided that the best course of action was to swap numbers and well, Magnus is delighted with that decision.

Because Alexander is asking him out. On a date. In his house.

Magnus is on cloud 9. Elated.

“If you keep smiling like that, your lips will get stuck,” Raphael mumbles but Magnus can’t be bothered. He’s happy.

 **

 After one amazing date that won’t end in bed because it’s too early for that, as much Magnus wants, it’s time to say goodbye. Magnus feels like when he had his very first date those decades ago: the butterflies, the giddiness, the I-can’t-stop-smiling feeling. It’s all surreal but so perfect.

“I really had a great time,” Magnus says, looking up. He had forgotten the few inches Alexander had on him but it doesn’t change anything. In fact, that gives him the advantage to look at those clear, hazel eyes.

Magnus could write sonnets about them.

Alexander smiles at him, shuffling a little closer. “I had a great time too,” he says. They are standing closer to the door but none of them move to open the door or to move.

In fact, Magnus might have moved a little closer, enough that he can smell Alexander’s cologne and the aftershave. It’s intoxicating and Magnus just wants to latch on his neck and stay there for the rest of the night.

Alexander looks at him, like he’s searching for something. Magnus just wants for him to take the leap for both of them because he doesn’t feel like he’s strong enough to get rid of the few inches between them and finally kiss those lips that has been on his dreams since that party a month ago.

Alexander’s eyes drift from his lips to his eyes, then back to his lips. “I might sound way too straightforward but… Can I kiss you?”

Yes. Everything you want. Yes. Magnus nods, not finding his voice.

But he doesn’t need it because from one second to the next, Alexander is tilting his head back and kissing him thoroughly, like Magnus has never been kissed before. A nip on his bottom lip has Magnus groaning, opening his mouth for Alexander. Big hands come to rest on his hips, drawing him closer to Alexander’s, giving him the opportunity to feel the hard planes of his body.

That body that Magnus has been dying to touch, to feel, to taste. Nothing compares.

When they, sadly, break the kiss for much needed air, Magnus takes a few seconds before opening his eyes just to bask in the glory of how that kiss felt. The first thing that he sees is Alexander smiling at him and Magnus can’t help but to giggle. After way too many years on the low, he can honestly say that this was the most exciting thing he has done and he can’t wait to see where this goes.

“I was hoping you would do that,” Magnus whispered, still in that closeness they have.

Alexander shrugs, keeping his hands right on Magnus’ hips, grounding him. “You know what they say,” and the smile turns mischievous, “patience is key.”

Alexander dives in again and Magnus meets him in the middle.  

------

(buy me coffee?) 

[ironmoody]

War of hearts — Part 2.

• AN : Hey, there! It’s been such a long while since I last published something in here...Kinda awkward, huh? lol. But hey, I’m back! This is part two of this post, so make sure you read it!

• Have fun and grab your own little tissue!

Stupid. That´s how you felt. Hiding in the library, you´ve been avoiding Peter the whole week. He tried to call and text you, but you wouldn´t answer. You couldn´t do that to yourself, not again. Capturing the sight of his beautiful and sorrowful brown eyes from afar was enough to make your heart ache, fighting yourself harshfully to not talk to him. You were tired, so very tired. Not even MJ, your best friend, could get you to open up about it. All you wanted to do was forget this ever happened. Forget you ever met Peter. Then, maybe, just maybe, the pain would go away.

Peter was a mess. Since that day, he couldn´t sleep or think properly. His mind found itself drowning on thoughts of you, wishing you would be his lover again. In his entire life, never had he felt this stupid. How could he had let you go? Truth is — he still loved you. You had never left the boy’s heart. All he ever wanted to do when he broke things off was protect you. His super hero life was dangerous, even more so if you knew about it, which you did. If something bad ever happened to you because of it, he would never forgive himself. As he grew up, he watched many of the people he loved dying, last one being Tony. After Stark’s death, Peter lost it. He just couldn’t handle the same happening to you. He couldn’t handle someone he loved dying again.

It was a cold night of December, the winter winds crashing on Peter’s masked face as he swinged in between the old buildings of Queens. He groaned, feeling the sharp pain on his stomach hit again. Turns out that the villains he fought this time weren’t that weak. He quickly looked around, trying to recognize the area. As he looked, his eyes slightly widened at the sight of the beautiful window he so much knew. He felt his body unknowingly moving towards it, a small smile appearing on his lips. Peter gently landed next to the window, softly tapping on the glass so he could catch the attention of the person that was inside the room.

You were sitting on your bed, sighing as you listened to your favorite sad songs (sike), thinking about how wonderful life would have been if you had just sticked to loving fictional boys. As you laughed at your own stupid thoughts, you jumped at the sound of someone knocking on your window. That familiar knock. It had been over a year since you last heard it. You sighed, slowly getting up and blinking twice as you saw the friendly neighborhood superhero. At first, you hesitated at opening the window, but as you superficially saw his cuts, you were quick to open it.

“Peter — My God! What the fuck happened?! Sit down!” You said as you helped him to get in, searching for your emergency kit. Peter slightly laughed as he saw your worried self, taking his mask off. “What are you laughing about?! Have you seen yourself?! Jesus —“

“You’re cute when you’re worried.” Peter said with a blunt smile on his face, getting on your nerves. As he saw your mad face, he quickly looked down and started to play with his fingers. “Sorry...”

You sighed and grabbed the emergency kit, walking towards Peter as he sat on your bed. You told him to take off the upper body part of his suit, so you could properly treat the injuries. As you saw a big and quite deep one on his arm, your eyes widened, your hand abruptly grabbing his before you could notice. “What-“ As you were about to ask the boy what had caused the cut, he simply said ‘knife’. You felt your lips trembling, closing your eyes for a few seconds to process what was happening. “Peter, goddamn it! You could have died!” As you sterilized it, Peter squished your arm, his eyes shutting.

You had forgotten how difficult that was - Watching Peter suffer. Watching him hurt. As you treated his big wound and the other small ones, you felt his eyes gazing you. It felt just the same as how it was a year ago. “Lost something on my face?” You asked bluntly, raising one of your eyebrows. The boy blushed and looked the other way, softly biting his lip.

“Y/N...Please, can we talk?” He asked, worried about your answer. You froze for a second before answering him, keeping on treating the wound.

“Talk? There’s nothing to talk about.” You answered him as coldly as you could, not wanting to let your guards down again.

“Can...Can you just listen to me, please?” He pleaded, his eyes fixated on yours as he searched of an answer. You simply shrugged, pretending you didn’t care. “Y/N, I’m so sorry...I’m so, so very sorry. If I could just make you understand — I never wanted to hurt you, my darling. Never. I know you hate me now, but please, try to understand. You know how dangerous it is, this superhero life. You know how many people want to see me dead. To see the people I love dead. After what happened to Tony, I...” There were tears falling down from Peter’s eyes, your shocked face watching his sad one as he talked, heart crumbling inside your chest at the sight. “If you died too...I don’t even know what I would do. I just...I love you so much, Y/N. I never stopped loving you. How could I? Every time I see you my heart’s on the floor. You just amaze me in every way, you...You’re just the Sun. You make my life so much brighter without even noticing it, even from afar. Just seeing you safe was enough for me. I fell in love with everything in you. I didn’t just fall in love with the good things about you, the way your eyes make the whole place glow, the way your weird laugh makes me smile, the way your hand fits in mine...I fell in love with the whole of you. I fell in love with your difficulties, for the way that you get easily angry, for the way that you sometimes need to be alone. I fell in love with the good things and the ‘bad things’ about you that you saw in yourself. But the bad stuff that you see in yourself are the good things that I see, because I fell in love with every detail of you. Every single one of them. And...And I just need you to understand that I couldn’t handle it if they just disappeared. I would suffer quietly for a thousand years away from you if it meant that you would be saf-“ And as the boy tried to finish his words, he felt a pair of hands grabbing his cheeks, his lips crashing on yours on a sweet and passionate kiss. A so wanted one.

Peter didn’t react at first, slowly giving in to the kiss as he moved his hand to rest on your waist. The kiss was slow, gentle, as you both felt the others salty tears hitting your lips. You were the first to break the kiss, looking deep inside the boy’s eyes. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” You said, shaking your head. “Peter, I know you are scared, but that is my decision to make. I’m the one who should decide if I can handle it or not, it’s my destiny, after all. But...You broke my heart. Deeply. That way, my boy, I was truly hurt. The world will be always a dangerous place, Pete. You can’t stop things from happening. What if I had died on a car accident, what if I had drowned? How would you feel knowing that you had lost so much time with me?” He looked down as he listened to you, biting his lower lip. “We are always risking ourselves, Pete. But it’s up to you to decide how you live your life, and if you ask me, I’d prefer to die happily knowing that I’m with the person that I love and that we spent every second that we could with each other. Don’t you agree?”

Peter smiled softly at you as he heard your last words, nodding as he aimed to hug you. And so you did. You hugged him tenderly, feeling him melt on your body. He gently kissed the top of your head, pulling you closer. “I love you so much, darling. I promise you I will never let you go again.” He whispered in your ear, and suddenly, you knew he was telling the truth.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Reimeiroku Saito Final Chapter

have i ever mentioned how i’m a masochist when it comes to this stuff? like, i will freely admit how i actually don’t like translating and doing more unnecessary work, but I when I do something for myself, I tend to want a certain degree of quality.... which is why i decided i’d do some video editing for this... a decision that I really regret now though i can say that it’s something that i know hate more than photoshop lol. 

after i finished my yuugiroku 2 vid, i figured i might as well try to install Visual Novel Reader to see if that could offer me better visual and audio quality for this... but before I finished installing it, I went and checked what videos were available that I could use for assets and found a video made through vnr had about the same audio quality as to ppsspp... along with videos from someone other psp emulated version of this... which i then clipped for audio. 

between visual and audio quality... i’ll pick audio any day so after deciding that i’d be using some of the less grainy audio i found along with my ppsspp footage... i set to work trying to layer the tracks.... but since the audio didn’t match the visuals’ timing, I had to manually cut pieces of my screencap video up so that it matched the audio timing, while also making sure that the visuals looked like they were still continuous (damn  circle icon which wouldn’t go away and caused problems)... on top of which, i had to deal with removing a number of random black screens that would just flash on screen for less than a second when i ran reimeiroku through the ppsspp emulator.... then i also had to find the song that plays towards the ending of this cuz the audio i had cut before the end of my screencap vid which was also a pain because i couldn’t find the damn thing anywhere on youtube so i had to go find the game rip audio (thankfully i have a site for that. also in the game, that song doesn’t naturally fade out and i manually added in that effect cuz i felt like it and thought it was better than the audio just cutting off) so i could put that in and align it so that track matched the audio timing for the vita audio track.... and then i also had to do something about the interval where i had to increase and decrease volume since the end kept sounding off no matter what i did....tho i kinda think the video still sounds off in 2 places.

once i got all the damn visuals and text properly lined up, i gave up on having to deal with the the stupid circle icon in that was originally in the bottom right hand corner since i got pissed enough seeing it and cuz it was no longer continuously in motion so I decided to remove it entirely along with the auto-play icon (at this point im on about version 10 of the video).

then, to cover up the right side of the video, i figured that’d i’d just stuck up an image over top of that section.... but after several tries i gave up on that since every damn picture i imported regardless if that was a screenshot of the game or a screen capture of the video from the editing software itself, nothing would match the colour of the text box for some infuriating reason... which ultimately led to me redoing everything so i didn’t have the stupid text box then stringing together clips between those stupid bouncing icons to erase the damn thing entirely though i thankfully didn’t worry about the auto-play icon the second time around....

however, doing that in itself posed a whole new problem since what i could effectively clip was less than >0.5 seconds each time to create cropped video layers that would hide that stupid icon, and my comp reaaaaaallllly started to issues when i did more of this and when i copied and pasted too many of those millisecond clips together... it got to the point where i was waiting 15 minutes for about 4 seconds of copied hide-the-damn-icon-video-clips (or about 8 hours for 40 seconds worth)... which pretty much crippled my computer..... 

this resulted in me having insane amounts of segments that looked entirely like this^, which occurred whenever there was an icon to hide... or text shake for some reason.... which caused me to create +20 openshot files for editing...(btw this is 138 tiny clips over the span of 6 seconds)

in the end, over the course of a fucking month, which i can honestly say that me finishing this for today was a complete coincidence (i barely managed to finish Warframe’s Scarlet Spear event cuz of how bad this was lol), i lost count of many versions of this video I made sometime after I reached version #32, openshot crashed on me at least 15 times (gave up counting that too), and my laptop crashed twice.... 

after i finally finished my video, i thankfully didn’t spend that long on subtitles but it took me far longer than i’d have liked to get the damn positioning right since potplayer is annoying when it comes to single lines and i had to guess and check the positioning almost every other time for some strange reason whenever i had a single line... which was never a problem when i had 2 or 3 lines of text... but editing was a slight hassle cuz i wanted the text used to be as accurate as possible... and i checked 3 reimeiroku tls of this chapter and the JP mtl of a bunch of sentences just to be sure. 

anyway, thanks to doing all of this unnecessary torture, i am absolutely never going to ever be repeating this experience ever again even if someone pays me because video editing is a serous pain in the ass and I hate it more than photoshop (also why the hell does ppsspp have so many issues with reimeiroku when compared to yuugiroku 2)!!!

also, learned my lesson and didn’t write this post this after staying awake til an ungodly hour lol. my attention to basic grammar plummets like a rock if i stay up past 4 am.... so i decided to write out all my grievances beforehand.... and put my video for this at the very bottom cuz im terrible like that and want everyone who sees this to deal with a massive wall of text xD! suffer! suffer as i have dammit lol!

enjoy the fruits of my damn labour! i’ve passed the point of caring if there are errors in this so keep anything you notice to yourself!! goddammit i noticed something wrong that i couldn’t ignore... namely the chapter name and my credit.... fixed that now.

on a final note, it’ll probably be more than a year before I touch Reimeiroku again because of my commitment to what I am able to translate for SSL so don’t ask lol....