#my team did a fantastic job on it go check it out ;;;

[littleulvar]

box art I created for the upcoming Kinfire Council game ✨ (with KS launch coming soon)

[the-teufort-nine]

My TF2 Fic Rec List [ Fanfics I've Read That You Should Too]

*cracks knuckles* right, let's get started! X Reader fics are not included bc I already did a list of them for an ask. Mind the tags and ratings, as always. I'll add to this as I collect more, but its decently long as is

Symbol Key:

** = Incomplete

~~ = Personal favourite

++ = Under 10k

SpeedingBullet:

~~Running Blind by TheTriggeredHappy

(( Scout's eyes are badly damaged in battle and for some reason, Medic's gun can't fix him. Until they figure out how to heal Scout, he needs someone to look after him and keep him safe.

Sniper is given the job.

[3rd person limited, Scout's POV, some character development done on a whim] ))

The SpeedingBullet fanfic. If you like Scout X Sniper, and you haven't read this one yet, I don't know what to tell you. You are severely missing out on not only a great romance story, but also fantastic team dynamics. Also has an available Podfic!

++From a Hospital Bed by SlightlyLessThanAnon

(( Jeremy wakes up in the hospital, his brain struggling the find coherent thoughts as the world churns around him, in and out of consciousness.

He finds the team may care about him a little more than he thought they did. ))

Short but sweet. More whole team fluff than strictly SpeedingBullet. Very cute.

~~Golden Brown, as well as its sister fic, Take Me Out by Ali_Ker (Alina_Kerrin)

(( After seeing his co-worker in a new light, Scout is faced with unknown feelings and a new, distracting perspective on things. ))

This lovely author can be found here under the handle @alikerao3

Grouped these two together because they are they same story, but told from the perspectives of Scout and Sniper respectively. Definitely a bit of a heavier read, especially for anyone who has dealt with Catholic guilt or internalized homophobia, but my God is it worth it. Don't just read one thinking it isn't worth it to read the other fic. Read both. Also, check out the song that inspired the title.

~~Going Through The Motions by AussieBookworm

(( Working under RED can be repetitive at times - but nothing like this. After a curse is fired his way, Scout is forced to live through the same day over and over and over again. It should be easy for someone as perfect as Scout to break the curse, right? As long as he doesn't have to confront the things he's been feeling towards Sniper it should be a piece of cake! ))

Possibly my absolute favourite TF2 fic right now. Scout gets character development out the ass, Demo has a prominent, important role, and there's a plot twist so good it had me tweaking out. TW for Suicide as a method used to get out of a time loop. Absolutely incredible, and it needs more love.

Gills and Gunpowder by popkeeki

(( Monsters are becoming increasingly rare. Between getting pushed to the periphery of society or being targeted by traffickers, life is hard when you are not (entirely) human. Like many others, Scout tries to keep his true form a secret. It has never really been a problem. That is, until a nosy teammate catches him mid-swim. ))

SpeedingBullet Mermaid AU!! Good luck finding a fic with this premise that also reaches this level of quality.

**~~Pet by Anonymous

(( Sniper's terrified of losing the one person he has in his life. It turns out there's a convenient solution to that: just make sure he has no way out, and the rest will follow.

Scout wakes up in a van he knows all too well, loopy and hungover, and Sniper's waiting for him.

*

Or: Learning to live with claustrophobia in small spaces Or: Making the best of assisted living Or: You can’t outrun a fucking bullet ))

Are you like me? Do you enjoy Scout whump and Yandere!/Possessive Sniper? SpyDad? Do you want more of it in your life? If the answer is yes, than Pet is for you! No NSFW, just pure, delicious kidnapping and one-sided love.

General Fanfic Recommendations:

++Something's Up With Respawn by Camelot_taurus, Old Works (HarveyDangerfield)

(( Respawn starts to glitch, and the Administrator sets Engineer to work fixing it.

It doesn't take long for him to find out exactly what's going ))

Super funny, weird little oneshot. Basically, Respawn starts glitching and producing fucked up, Paperjam Dipper-esque clones of the Mercs.

++Mask Off by MatryoshkaDoll413

(( Scout is sick. Really sick. 'If we can't get this fever under control it's the hospital or the morgue' sick, and Respawn can't help him this time. They'd already tried that. He's gotten so delirious he's fighting Medic every second he's awake, not really lucid enough to remember so much as his own name, much less that of any of the team. Medic is ready to put him under full sedation and try and work things out from there, but Spy has an idea. ))

Wholesome SpyDad fic. Spy actually acts like a dad for once, for his sick little bunny.

~~++Scout, Respond by MatryoshkaDoll413

(( Scout wakes up in a dark, unknown place, with rocks bearing down on him and a spotty recollection as to how he ended up there in the first place. The only thing that keeps him sane is the voice of his team in his ear, telling him to talk, to breath, and, more than anything, to stay awake. ))

Scout gets trapped beneath a collapsed building, and receives comfort from his team over his headset while they race to dig him out. Super cute, definitely a must read, and I've done so more than once.

pick it all up (and start again) by bugbee

(( The clues had always been there, he had just never wanted to see them. Maybe neither of them had, instead content to deny the truth before their eyes for the rest of their days because it was better than confronting the alternative. Except Scout had died, and Spy wasn’t able to keep on pretending for his last moments. A part of Jeremy was glad for it, despite the simmering rage and betrayal and hurt. So when he tried to look God in the eye and tell Him that Tom Jones was his father… He couldn’t. Not really.

(Scout discusses his parentage with God, and stays dead for a little while longer. Well. A lot longer. On the plus side, he gets to attend his own funeral reception.) ))

An alternate take on Scout's death from the comics. Very Scout centric, obviously, and ends happily.

~~A Little Bird Told Me… by the_soup_specter

(( Medic learns a secret— something personal, powerful, big enough to cause a rift in the team of mercenaries that could tear two of them apart. And for once in his life… he’s not sure how to proceed.

With no better ideas, Medic decides to ask his fellow mercenaries for advice. But as dueling viewpoints begin to pile up, will he be able to make a decision before the team is changed forever? ))

Medic learns Spy is Scout's dad, and spills the beans. Everything turns out ok, but man the aftermath initially ain't pretty.

~~seven times he has to explain (and one time he doesn’t have to) by conner_is_alive

(( the trans scout obsession has me in a vice

also if i don’t vent my trans sadness i will literally rip a government building down brick by brick lmao ))

The fic that made me a trans Scout believer. If you're on the fence about that headcanon, maybe give this fic a read.

**~~Kith And Kin by BOREDGrace23

(( Mick never thought much of the BLU team. They were just clones, after all. Designed to be their opponents in a meaningless war.

That's why when he woke up, his vision blurry, his brain blistering from a headache like he'd just woken up from a hangover, and several burning questions about what had happened, he thought it was strange that they hadn't killed him already.

//

Or, BLU are clones and RED are decidedly not. They’re then forced to work together when their teams disappear. ))

If you like Emesis Blue, or horror in general, go read Kith And Kin. And when you finish, go give @boredgrace23 some love for such an incredible fic.

**++Der Junge by UpInFlamesWriting

(( Everyone on the team knows that Scout & Medic do not get along. They're like Sniper & Spy, except less bloodthirsty about it. Medic scares Scout, & Scout doesn't give Medic a reason to like him. When the two of them start being more than friendly all of a sudden, the team starts to worry, especially when it becomes obvious that Medic & Scout are keeping secrets from them. Scout & Medic are not about to tell the rest of the team that they are a pair of transsexual men, especially when Medic agrees to help Scout in his transition. For all the weirdness that goes on in the base, the world is not kind to queer people, & they aim to keep the reason behind their friendship a secret, even if it kills them. ))

Trans Scout and Trans Medic solidarity fic. I need more of this.

Eight Mercenaries and A Toddler by ChaosandMayhem

(( When Respawn malfunctions and their annoying Scout is turned into something far more precocious, it'll take all of the RED team's wits and patience to look after him. At the same time, Engineer must find a way to turn Scout back into an adult before the BLUs-or anyone else-realizes what's happened. No pairings, just a bunch of exhausted trained killers and one hyperactive child. ))

An Ancient Text from 2012 and the only FF.Net fic on this list, EMaAT is a classic for me. Lot's of Spy backstory, if memory serves. Quotes from this live rent free in my mind.

PracticalEspionage:

++Under the Lake by Her_AngelEyes

(( Engineer goes fishing. Hilarity ensues. ))

Don't let the description fool you. This is a non-con/mind break fic. If you like darkfic stuff, than this is for you~

[ronearoundblindly]

would you ever write an invisible reader? Like let’s say she’s an agent or a scientist. Quiet and stuff right? She always keeps to herself has the biggest crush on Steve but because she’s thinks she’s invisible she doesn’t ever think he might be interested too. There’s a mission she goes on and things go awry and she actually turns invisible. Something akin to how in the Fantastic Four movies they get their powers she gets this one? But it takes time to get under control. Steve thinks it’s his fault so he tries to help out. And through the the process of helping her gain back visibility she realizes Steve has seen her all along. Lol this really just came to my head when I was thinking about Steve using paint on someone’s body as a way to show them he thinks they’re art.

This. Is. Spectacular. I'm gonna fudge it a bit. Headcanon/stream of consciousness format. No warnings just canon-level "action." gif credit: @meidui

Erasure (Steve Rogers x junior agent!Reader)

My first instinct is to make it an ability to alter someone perception--i.e. you're constantly a little embarrassed of your input, so you tell people to 'forget you said that'--and let's say that constant hope that you won't be remembered badly is the innate trigger for your ability.

Probably a science experiment of Tony's gone wrong. He and the team are arguing about something that needs to be recovered before a damaged thing reaches critical mass. You sneak in to just grab what he wants and not waste time arguing. Tony doesn't know you're in there and locks the lab down until the dangerous pulse dissipates. (Steve doesn't know you're in there either because you popped in while he was facing and yelling at Tony, fwiw.) Maybe Tony saunters in once the doors open, finds you there with the part in your hand and knocked on your ass.

Your skin touches his as he reaches for you and the part. You jokingly tell him there's nothing to worry about, nothing to see here. You're surprised that he listens and walks off immediately, chatting and leading the team away down the hall to show them something else he's working on in the hangar bay.

Overall, once you catch your breath, you're fine. You don't want to go to the infirmary and tell them you did something so dumb.

Life continues.

Through a lot of trial and error, you realize what you can do--forcibly--by erasing people's memory of you being around. The head count for meetings is off. Several teammates you know you spoke to see security footage of you at the time and curiously remark that they don't recall you being there. Things like that. It works on everybody, or so you think.

There's a brainstorming session about how to infiltrate a possibly corrupt corporation's facility to gain intel. Everyone agrees to this elaborate rouse where two ripped agent dudes pose as janitors and blah blah blah. It's a little absurd.

You check the companies job listings, and knowing you qualify for one, submit an application the next day. The woman in HR who hires you doesn't work on the same floor as where you are technically snooping, and you can handle the work they actually want you to do in just a few hours a day, giving you a bunch of time to access nearly everywhere and nudge everyone to forget you were there.

The attempted break-in of fake janitors is the talk of the office on your last day, the one where you find the info Stark wanted to begin with, and then you quit, still quietly, returning to the Avengers the next morning.

You drop off the intel to Tony's office when he's not there, but just as you get situated back at your little desk, Steve comes up.

He looks concerned, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the flimsy cubicle wall.

"Feeling better?"

You're so confused.

"You were out for over a week. Did you need to go to the hospital? Was a family member with you at least? You could have called in for help."

On impulse, you grab his arm and tell him not to worry about you, yet he...doesn't move. After a flawless use of the power hundreds of times in a row, you don't understand.

Blinking up at Steve, you blurt, "I should be erased. Why are you still noticing me?"

He's bewildered, sure, but Steve tucks his head and smiles shyly.

"Can't erase you, doll," he chuckles, so soft only you can hear. "I draw you in pen--" Steve taps his temple "--up here..."

He bends down, his hand gently gripping your arm and his cheek touching yours.

"...now where you been for a week?"

And then, yes, some beautiful closeness and Steve paints on you to highlight what parts he drew so permanently on his mind!

🤗

a/n: Thank you for sending in this lovely idea, nonnie! I'm sorry everything I'm writing has been short and convoluted the last...while, but this is such a sweet premise. (Also, my apologies if you really, really wanted straight invisibility as the power. Just send in another ask, and I'll try to come up with an alternate version!)

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[skellyflowers]

Tour Bus Cuddles

Masterlist

Phantom x reader 

The European leg of the tour has been going fantastic so far. I was excited to be on the road and get the opportunity to travel around. However no one mentioned how hard being a Tour Manager Assistant would be! 

When Phantom dragged me into Brother Kevin’s office to nominate me as the new assistant I thought he was being a clingy boyfriend. He told me that he would miss me. I would miss him too. I was going to work on a schedule for us to still be able to still talk while he was gone. I wasn't expecting this. When Phantom first mentioned Kevin needing an assistant it was during our pillow talk so I didn’t take him too seriously.

I was surprised that Kevin made me his new tour assistant, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was because of how hard headed Phantom is. Kevin has me in charge of checking in the band at any hotel we stay at, ensuring the Green room has what the ghouls need and running last minute errands. 

However this show is in the biggest arena so far. So I have to cover way more ground than before helping the ghouls and completing my pre-show checklist. And to make things more complex two of the main stage speakers have been damaged. Lucky us the crew as backup speakers, they are not as loud but they are just as good. Unfortunately for me that means I need to help load the new speakers off the crew truck and bring them half a mile from the parking lot to the arena. 

When it is time for a sound check I can’t feel my arms and can barely pay attention to what the merch team is telling me. It doesn’t help that Phantom likes to keep me up after shows and work out his leftover adrenaline. I love him and we always have a great time together but it is going to be hard to do my job if I can’t feel both my arms and legs.

I’m in the Green room sitting on the couch when the ghouls come back after they finish the sound check. Phantom closes in on me and sits in my lap like a little cat. He starts to purr like one too. I smile at his actions and start to scratch at one of his horns, he starts to purr even louder.

“I missed you babe.” Phantom says.

“It’s only been 30 minutes, Bat.”

“30 minutes too long.” he pouts, cuddling into my neck.

“GET THAT CUTE SHIT OUT OF HERE!” Dew yells, startling me.

“Shut up, like you aren't going to come to me and beg for attention.” Rain says, rolling his eyes.

Phantom doesn’t get off my lap until it is time for the ghouls to get on stage and Mountain picks him up. We hold hands and walk from the Green Room to backstage and give a kiss before he gets on stage to the screaming crowd.

The show is amazing, just as all the others have been. When the final bow is taken and Papa has said the last goodnight I help the crew take down the stage and pack up so we can get on the road as soon as we can. The process is smooth and we are able to pack up the crew bus in under an hour. A new personal record.

When I get on the ghouls’ bus I am exhausted. I am happy to be the first on the bus tonight. Papa could herd the ghouls perfectly without my help but I felt a little guilty about texting him that I went straight to the bus and crawled into the first unclaimed bunk I found. Ghoul shepherding is part of my job.

I started to fall asleep when I heard the bus door open and close. I hear footsteps shuffle around until they stop in front of the bunk row I am in. I also hear sniffing? The curtain separating me from the mystery ghoul in the bus slowly opens. I’m surprised that I see Phantom, eyes bright and tail wagging.

“This spot taken?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

I let out a quiet giggle and scoot back as much as I can. Phantom gets a big smile on his face and crawls in next to me. He turns my body so he can be the big spoon, his second favorite cuddling position. If it was always up to him I would be laying on top of him at all times. I find his hand and lace our fingers together and he starts purring against my back and plants a kiss on my neck.

“Did you have fun at the concert?” I ask.

“It was fun, Swiss fell off his stage. But I missed you.”

“Maybe if you teach me to play the guitar Papa will add me to the band.” I said as a joke.

“That’s a great idea. We can start tomorrow.”

“You are so silly, Bat.”

“It is a good idea. We could spend more time together.”

“You never leave me alone. You're the reason I got this job.”

“And I will never give you a moment's peace.” He says, giving me a squeeze.

“We can talk about it in the morning.” I say, with a yawn. “Love you Phantom.”

“I love you too, My Angel.” kissing the back of my head.

I let his purring lull me to sleep as the other ghouls get on the bus and settle in for the overnight drive to the next sold out area.

[j-richmond]

Tiny Table has wrapped up their Yeld game, and honestly it was great. I want to talk about it a little. To start with, you should go listen to the whole thing! They did 5 episodes, which includes a rules breakdown, a 3 part adventure and today's post mortem (above). If you're interested in Yeld or want a fun adventure to listen to, check it out! And show them some support by leaving a comments, review or checking out their Patreon!

If you don't know, Yeld is MY game. The Magical Land of Yeld is a TTRPG that I designed with my brother Nick Smith. It is a game about children who discover a magical land on the other side of a secret door, and then get trapped there when the door shuts. It is a game about growing up. Textually, its a game about exploration, team work, tactical combat and character building. Sub-textually its a game about choosing your family, facing the terror of becoming a teenager and discovering who you are (in a queer way). We've seen a lot of people play Yeld since we released the first playtest rules way back in... 2010 (so long ago). I've sat in on so many games. I've read so many recaps and reports. I've sifted through so many forum and discord posts. I've heard more than a few actual play groups take a stab at it. And, of course, I've ran the game for hundreds of people. Not everyone gets Yeld. Tiny Table gets Yeld. They get it so well. Its obvious from the first 10 minutes of the first episode that the group has a handle on playing kids (and a Dog), which is inherently fun and funny. But Yeld also requires you to take playing kids (and a Dog) seriously. Its not a bit. Its not a meme. Its a role that is as important to the setting and premise of the game as being an Elf or Dwarf in D&D (and really, maybe more so). The Tiny Table cast sinks into their role and gets the most out of it. Of course, they're entertaining performers and they put on a great show, but they also flex both the premise of the game and the rules. This adventure is a showcase for Yeld.

Genevieve (played by Holly) is the Rival (I think? I should have kept notes. She feels like a Rival). Energetic. Physical. Looking for adventure. She's a gamer, and wants to get lost in a fantasy world. She's so damn excited to explore Yeld, and recognizes it immediately for exactly what it is. She doesn't want to go home, and gets upset when her friends try to ruin her fun. Later in the Adventure she becomes a Soul Thief, and revels in her ability to launch into combat and sink her daggers into her enemies!

Dolores (played by Skyler) is the Big Sister. She radiates Big Sister energy, worried about her younger brother and much more cautious and realistic about exploring Yeld than her friend. She's not interested in Genevieve's gamer stuff, and doesn't have those video game points of comparison that her friend does. Instead, her approach to Yeld is practical, but still curious! When later her little brother is kidnapped, Dolores puts aside that practicality to try to rush to his rescue. At this point n the adventure Dolores' Brave dice had been reduced to 0, and Skyler does a fantastic job portraying this. Dolores is afraid, but not for herself. She'll throw herself against the horrible monster known as the Dollyhook in order to save her brother. Dolores chooses the Oathbreaker Job in order to protect her friends.

Princess the Dog (played by Neo) is the matronly family caretaker. She sees the kids as her charges, and its her duty to keep them safe and happy. Where the rest of the characters are kids, Princess is an adult. Princess is cautious, patient and indulgent. Her job is to take care of the kids, and she considers herself to be an integral part of the family. When Princess first passes through the door into Yeld and discovers she can talk, she's absolutely delighted! Finally, she can communicate with the kids in her care! Later, when she meets other talking animals in Yeld she's so very disappointed by their lack of care and responsibility. Princess becomes the group's White Mage, but quickly is more interested in summoning other animals than healing the kids! (BTW, all the art here is by Neo. As the person who has done every bit of official Yeld art, seeing someone else do cool Yeld illustrations is always a treat!) I think a big part of what made Tiny Table's adventure so much fun for me is how willing the entire group was to accept the premise of the game, and even revel in it! Dolores is willing to trade her prized possession, her new Jordans, as an offering to a ghost in order to gain the power to save her brother. Skyler becomes the assassin thief of her fantasies and immediately stylizes her look based on Princees Mononoke and Assassin's Creed. When finding that an entire town of children had been left without adults, princess immediately interrogates every animal in the town, demanding to know why they hadn't taken responsibility! Equally, the Tiny Table team had a very solid grasp on the rules (not always common for a first game) and were excited to use them! Dolores was eager to wade into the dangerous Water Hazards in the boss fight, confident that her high strength would allow her to much through. And when the evil ghost called the Dolly Hook tried to gain the initiative, Dolores was ready to point out that her Oathbreaker Oath made her immune to interruptions. Later, she broke that Oath to gain back some of her Core dice, restoring her bravery at the peak of the fight where it really mattered! Neo mentioned that they were worried they might have made a mistake choosing White Mage as Princess's Job, since the Dog didn't have hands to hold a spellbook! But very quickly Princess was casting spells to call Monsters into fights, and Neo described each monster through Princess' perspective. A wiggling Silverfish. A bright white furry Squirrel, eager to shake its but at enormous Howligator it was trying to distract. Holly seized on the lethality of Oathbreaker, charging into fights with a dagger in each hand. She quickly realized that Genevieve's enhanced Brave dice let her streak across the Action Board, and made her nearly impossible to interrupt. I could hear the excitement in her voice as she described how delivering a killing blow to a monster let her Bank and Action, and explained all the cool things she could do with that! Julian is the Game Master, and she brought all of it together. She had asked me to write an outline for them to use, and I put together what I think of as a basic "welcome to Yeld" adventure. Julian brought it to life, elaborating on the parts that felt important to the players and making sure each character had a distinct voice. Both figuratively and literally! Her voices for Rolo the Fairy and the incredibly creepy Dolly Hook were amazing! Julian gave her players plenty of room to explore their characters, but also kept the story going in what ended up being a very tight adventure. As the game's creator, the whole thing was a joy to listen to. I think you'll agree with me that the only real complaint is that we won't be seeing their ongoing Yeld adventures! If you're new to Yeld, I think this is a great introduction. And if you're a Yeld fan already, you'll probably agree with everything I said here. Thank you so much Julian, Neo, Skyler and Holly! I'm glad you had fun in Yeld. - J

Get the Stuff: Listen to Tiny Table's Yeld adventure here. Support Tiny Table on Patreon! Get the hardcover Yeld rule book and PDF from the Yeld site, IPR or Tabletop Bookshelf. The PDF is also available from DrivethruRPG and Itch. Support Yeld on Patreon here.

[theflagscene]

15 Day BL Challenge (part one)

Day 5 - Biggest Flop

I’m gonna make so many people mad. Hoooboy!

Ignoring all the DNFs that I’ve had over the last year due to issues that had nothing to do with the show itself, my biggest flop that I finished and had an actual visceral disappointment to was Last Twilight but only because of episodes 11 and 12, everything up until that point was damn near pitch perfect. And yes, I feel like I can be salty over the ‘only by being fixed can a person be truly happy’ ending because I literally have the same type of head injury that Day has, also brought on from a car accident that was caused by a drunk driver. I very much felt connected to him and loved the story of accepting your life as it changes, losing our eyesight doesn’t make us broken. I’ve learned to live with my dwindling eyesight and current partially blind state for the past 15 years and will live with my completely blind state in the future, so to watch (heh puns) Day go from learning to love himself and accept himself as well as Mhok’s love, to instantly ignoring everything the show had been teaching him and the audience in the span of two lousy episodes - including an unnecessary breakup and ridiculous time skip - was heartbreaking. The series was so so good! And then it just was bad.

Now, all that being said, I absolutely do think that the show deserves all the awards and accolades it is currently receiving. I also think JimmySea did fantastic in their roles and also deserve all the awards for the work they put into making such a beautiful love story, but that doesn’t mean that for me personally I can’t also consider it a flop in my books for the reasons stated above. I loved Last Twilight when it was airing, but then it was like being punched in the gut. It will not be something I rewatch unfortunately.

PSA: if you haven’t heard P’Aof talk about his original idea for the story being a thriller you really should track down the interview, I won’t spoil it for you, but if you wanna know the original plot ideas check under the cut, I’ll post what I remember ⬇️

Last Twilight was originally conceived as a thriller based on Mhok looking to get revenge for his sister’s murder, she was going to have been killed in a car accident - yep that accent that Night and Day were in. Day was going to have been a driver that hit his sister and killed her, instead of having her commit suicide. The story follows Mhok as he tracks down Day and after finding out that he was going blind and needed a caretaker, he weasels his way into the job. They would still end up falling in love, but the whole plan was for Mhok to kill Day to get his revenge. When they left for the wedding at the beach, finally free from Day’s mother and brother’s constant surveillance, Mhok was going to take Day out into the middle of the ocean at night under the guise of a romantic swim and leave him there to drown. He was going to leave but then cannot go through with it and rushes back to save Day - and that’s all they got to until the rest of the writing team was like: P’Aof, you are a romantic, you love romance, you can’t do a thriller, your heart won’t be in it. You know this!

He agreed and ended up changing it from a revenge thriller to a romantic drama because he just didn’t feel like he was the right person to pull off such a dark storyline.

[serickswrites]

Set Up III

Part 1 Part 2

Hero stayed in Lair a month before they worked up the courage to seek out Supervillain one on one. The villain had looked more and more exhausted each time Hero saw them, but their engagement with their team never wavered. They were so different from Superhero. 

“I want a mission,” the words tumbled out of Hero’s mouth clumsily and quickly as they stood in front of Supervillain in the garden. 

Supervillain looked up from the book in their hand. “What?”

Hero swallowed. “I want to go on a mission. I’ve been training. I’ve run them before when I…when I was with Superhero.”

Supervillain nodded. “I’m aware. I wasn’t sure you wanted to work.”

“I need to do something. I’m useless at everything here.”

Supervillain stood up. “You aren’t useless. But I’m not going to argue with you. If you want a mission, assemble your team and I’ll find something for you to do.”

“Just like that?”

Supervillain smiled. “Just like that. Meet you in the briefing room in an hour.”

“You’re not going to tell me who I should and shouldn’t bring? Or that I should run it alone?” Hero called after Supervillain’s retreating back. 

“I trust you know your abilities better than I do. If you think you can go alone, I’d ask you to reconsider, but ultimately trust your judgment. Briefing room. One hour.”

Hero had their team of five in the briefing room in fifteen minutes. They were surprised to see Supervillain was already there. “Supervillain, we can come back—“

“No need. I thought you might be early. Simple extraction job for you. Just to get your feet wet. Right Hand,” they nodded over to the minion seated at a comm station, “will guide you through each check point. And they’ll be able to get you any aid you need if you run into trouble.”

Guide? Aid? These were foreign concepts to Hero for mission work. Superhero would just tell them to do something and chuck them out. There was no discussion or offer of help. This was…different. 

“Won’t let you down!”

Supervillain looked sad. “You could never let me down, Hero.” They stood up. “I’ll be in the field not too far from you if you need me.” They nodded at Right Hand. “Any of you.”

They were out the door before Hero could think to say anything else. They had never had someone in charge of them that was so hands on. Or kind. “They’re like that. Get used to it.” Right Hand said as they settled into their station. 

The mission went off without any hiccups. Each time Hero thought they would need to call for back up, more help arrived. Each time the team met a dead end, Right Hand was in Hero’s ear guiding them to the next safe space. 

By the time Hero returned to Lair they were never more certain of anything. This. This was the place for them. They had to stay. They wanted to stay. If Supervillain would have them. 

“Congrats on your first mission success,” Supervillain said as they swung by Hero’s room after Hero had been home an hour. “Heard you did a fantastic job.”

“Thank you,” Hero said as they felt their cheeks burn. 

“Keep it up, Hero. Really, you’re doing great here.” Supervillain turned to leave. 

Now was their chance! “I want to stay.”

Supervillain turned around to stare down at Hero. “You do?”

Hero nodded. “If you’ll have me.”

“Of course I’ll have you. But I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I don’t. Working for you—“

“With you,” Supervillain corrected. “We’re a team.”

Hero blushed. “Working with you has been unlike anything I’ve experienced. Everyone here is so…kind.”

Supervillain smiled. “I would be delighted if you stayed, Hero.”

“And another thing. I think I should change my name. Superhero changed my name when I started to work for them.”

Supervillain frowned. “I’d love to know why they name all their apprentices the same thing. What would you like to be called?”

“Villain.” Hero Villain said proudly. “I think you’ve more than set me up for success.”

Supervillain smiled. “The person responsible for that set up is you, Villain. Welcome to the team.”

Tags: @severalonions @prompt-fills-and-writing-spills @st0rmm @newgait @random-writers-sideblog @thenamesmobu @whoelseuprebloging @hhabaddon2 @zokazoma13 @jkl-uwu @mooseontheloose21 @hittingthebrainsfunnybone @laurenhufflepuff2 @writinglike-illdie @crow-with-a-typewriter @myv1lla1nacadem1a @lorlibrary @bluelovestoship @whumpedydump @ann-whispers @otherwiseiamnotallowedtoscroll @starlightsphinx @captainskeleboi @jackthecrimekangarooekangaroo @wafflenuka @meltedgallium @justparkerpots @writingpromptsfordays @whatinteresthave @idiotswitcher @smooth-orange-pebble @generoushelpingofwhump @halfseafog @ksfallingthroughlife @blipblipbloop @saltyontheside @nebulousboundsfloof @uniquezombiedestiny @i-love-chocolates @clever-kills @whumpitywhumpwhump @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @frostmaster1000 @just-a-space-rabbit @daemonvatis @hopefullywritingahit

[xanthippe74]

Masterlist of my “12 Days of Fandom” recs, inspired by this post. As always, please check the tags and author's notes before reading. Enjoy!

🔸 Terminal Lucidity by @romaine2424 (Drarry, HD Career Fair, rated G, 3K) This bittersweet fic has Harry putting his abilities as Master of Death to good use by comforting those close to death themselves. We see him at work here, adeptly easing the way for someone dear to him with compassion and care. I found this story incredibly moving and a beautiful portrait of family ties in the face of an impending loss. Featuring older, established Drarry and the Black-Malfoy family.

🔹 Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses (Drarry, rated E, 46K) Gorgeously and vividly written, this university rowing AU drew me in right from the get-go, despite the fact that Muggle AUs are not my typical cuppa. The enemies-to-lovers tension is perfectly paced as Harry and Draco fight for the same spot on the Oxford team. Citrusses did a fantastic job translating their backgrounds and personalities (as well as those of other familiar characters from the books) into this world. Class divisions and the pressure of a highly-public sporting event stand in very effectively for Harry’s canon experiences. All in all, the story has the poignancy and drama of a lush coming of age film, and I can’t recommend it highly enough!

🔸 The Pile by @b-vul (Drarry, not rated, about 1.5K) This hilarious ficlet was born out of littlewinnow’s tumblr post about Veela!Harry performing an intricate mating dance to impress Draco. Delightfully, it’s from Harry’s POV as he blindly “trusts his instincts” to guide him into increasingly bizarre actions. And the evolution of Draco’s reaction is pure comedy gold. I’ve come back to reread this one a couple of times, and it never fails to have me in stitches. (The tumblr thread also contains adorable art by regretfulcorrine!)

🔹 Shine on, You Crazy Diamond by @lagerloutfic (Drarry, HD Mpreg Fest, rated E, 42K) This is one of those fics that you can’t stop reading once you start (something I confirmed this morning when I went to skim through it for this rec and wound up spending a few happy hours devouring the entire thing again). It’s laugh-out-loud funny and deliciously smutty, with a full cast of delightful side characters and just the right amount of feelings. The story begins with the discovery of Draco’s surprise pregnancy, then switches to a long flashback of Harry’s gay awakening and his fast sexual/slow emotional burn relationship with Draco. The entire fic has a joyful feel—banter-filled pub nights, chaotic family dinners, audacious curse breaking—culminating in the baby’s arrival, which left me in happy tears and wishing for another 40K of this fabulous story. Featuring confident Harry, supportive friends & family, hot Charlie, and some shamelessly kinky Unspeakables.

🔸 Silhouettes by @sweet-s0rr0w (Draco/Ron/Harry, Dronarry Fest, rated E, 16K) Draco/Ron/Harry is not a ship I’d ventured into before I read this fic, but I’m so glad I did! Sweet’s writing always hits the right spot in my brain, and her alternating POVs and spot-on characterizations of all three boys are delightful. I especially loved Ron’s sexy self-assurance here. The unique magical theory around sentient houses is fascinating and ultimately poignant, once Draco gets to the root cause of the Burrow’s behavior. Sweet-sorrow surely lived up to her username with this one, weaving grief with humor and a heartwarming resolution.

🔹 Harry Potter Gets a Job (A 106-Page Comic) by dustmouth (Drarry, HD Career Fair, rated M) Dustmouth’s comics never miss, I swear! In this one, we find Harry overcoming his distrust of Draco with the help of the Weasleys, especially Ron (who is definitely up to something himself). All of my favorite Dustmouth elements are here: the expressive characters, Draco’s wild wardrobe choices, and punchy dialogue galore. Also featuring drunken shenanigans at the Burrow, adorable Teddy, and some first-class Slytherin-ing by Draco to win his man (and find Harry that job). What a treat!

🔸 the earth from a distance by spqr (Drarry, rated E, 15K) A whirlwind time-travel fic with breezy humor, bedsharing, and spqr’s unmatched smut with feelings… What more could you ask for in a fic? Oh, yeah: fantastic worldbuilding for Hogwarts in 1599, brilliantly clever Draco, and a dash of enemies to lovers. I can never get enough of this author!

🔹 A Year In The Life by @ladderofyears (Drarry, HD Career Fair, rated M, 19K) I swear, the author conjured a little bit of magic to write this story. It’s told entirely with 50-word microfics, one journal entry for each day of 2006 (an impressive feat, by itself!), and yet it reads just as smoothly as any traditional fic. Draco’s voice is perfect here, full of wit and subtle emotion, as his and Harry’s developing romance takes a sharp turn with an unexpected pregnancy.  Draco’s anticipation, worry, and joy are mixed with deftly-chosen details of his daily life, all captured with Emma’s trademark tenderness and warmth. This fic is a perfect comfort read for family feels and gentle romance.

🔸 try to fix you by @maesterchill (Harry/Ron/Hermione, HP Snooze Fest, rated M, 2K) A beautifully and tenderly written hurt/comfort fic set in the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts. Ron is the glue that holds the trio together here, caring for Harry and Hermione with gentle devotion. There’s no dialogue needed to tell this story, just Ron’s perceptive POV that captures the grief and love that compel him. I have a soft spot for this triad forming immediately after the war, as a way of holding onto each other and holding themselves together. Maester’s fic makes their transition from friends to lovers feel like the first step towards healing.

🔹 The Scent of Soft Rains by @dodgerkedavra (Drarry, HD Career Fair, rated E, 20K) When Harry is left housebound and isolated by a traumatic injury, magical prosthetist Draco gets called into help. But Harry’s struggles go far beyond the physical ones. This recovery fic combines magical and non-magical therapeutic treatments in a way I can’t remember reading before. The hurt/comfort is just as it should be—both heart-wrenching and soothing—but there are enough surprising revelations to keep the story from feeling predictable. Draco is wonderfully unflinching and patient, and the ending left me crying happy tears. With lovely, restrained prose and vivid magical imagery, this one’s an absolute stunner.

🔸 Connecting Lines, Connecting Crimes by @sleepstxtic (Drarry, H/D Career Fair, rated M, 15K) With its intriguing careers, fascinating magical theory, and well-researched worldbuilding, this story captured my attention immediately, and the mystery at the heart of it kept me engrossed. This was one of the more thought-provoking fics I’ve had the pleasure of reading, exploring the intersection of magic, the environment, and colonialism. Harry’s first-person POV is lovely, and it feels like we’re learning to love India and the people he meets along with him. The getting-back-together romance is gentle but satisfying, propelled by pent-up yearning that’s palpable. There’s so much to enjoy here, all in only 15K words!

🔹 Waking Up Slow by @sweet-s0rr0w and @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (Drarry, H/D Wireless Fest, rated E, 22K) The first word that comes to mind while reading this fic is charming. First there’s the novel setting: a Christmas shop in the tourist destination of Cheddar Gorge, in the middle of a July heatwave. Next, there’s the shop itself, so imaginatively described and full to the brim with clever Muggle and magical details. Then there are the delightful OCs, Draco’s seemingly unhinged enthusiasm for all things Christmas (including ridiculous jumpers), and Harry’s complete disregard for professional behavior. But underneath the playful banter and humor, there’s also a layer of poignancy to tug at the heartstrings, especially when we find out the backstories behind Harry’s and Draco’s unlikely careers. And to top it all off, like the glowing star on the tree, are Joy’s exuberant, colorful illustrations. This is a Christmas-y fic I’d reread any time of the year.

Thanks to all these brilliant creators for sharing their work with us!

Happy New Year!

[daily-hanamura]

Love your analysis of Yosuke’s character, it’s so detailed and fun to read! I’m kinda curious, what are your thoughts on his characterization in the fighting and dancing games?

Waaah thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed them 💖

Oooh I actually LOVE his characterisation in p4d and p4au, probably because I think it brought out all my favourite parts of Yosuke and it really felt like Yosuke had matured a lot compared to his first appearance.

In P4A/U for example we see a lot of thoughts from other characters, and I really love that it's revealed how the others - not just Yu, but also Yukiko and Chie - rely on Yosuke a lot for emotional support, as the morale booster of the team, for direction when they don't know what to do, as the glue that keeps the group together, and it's so fantastic because it's so unlike how Yosuke sees himself. A lot of Yosuke's POV also reveals how much overthinking he does and how, despite his empathy in noticing when others are frustrated or worried, he feels like he doesn't do a very good job at cheering them up, even though when we look at their POVs we see that he did!! Both Yukiko and Chie call him up when they were worried about their friends going missing BECAUSE they feel better from talking to him!! Sorry but this particular factoid, this specific gap, sits in my head like a spitroast being rotated all the time because I cannot get over it. But he's trying though - we can see his motivations for the things that he says and how he tries to lighten the mood and yeah. It's great. I went into P4AU thinking it was going to be whatever but let me just say that was the game that triggered my single-minded obsession about Yosuke and the reason why this blog exists LOL like I was very much souyo and yosuke-brained aftert P4G but oh boy. P4AU tipped me over from obsessed to building this damn shrine for him :'D

He always laughs deprecatingly at himself even in the post p4g games, like in P4D - when he dances well he has a line that's like, "not such a disappointment after all" and it, again, really shows how he has such a poor perception of himself that he doesn't see his own good points, like the fact that he held out the second longest during their dance training, losing only to Rise, as pointed out by Yu. He's naturally talented and keeps up well with everyone elses dance style, but he doesn't really notice that either? Also a side thing I find hilarious/cute/endearing in P4D is also how Kanji exposes Yosuke's idol-loving-hours and Yosuke gets extremely embarrassed about it, because at his heart Yosuke does still like that kind of (somewhat) superficial thing, but he doesn't want people to know! It's a stark contrast to how he was earlier in P4G where he's more open about checking out girls (again, the whole "is this overcompensation" vs "is this a product of bro culture from his childhood friends" is a conversation that we can have) but it's a reflection of how that kind of talk tapers out a lot as the game progresses, and P4D was really consistent with the kind of growth that P4G gave Yosuke, instead of reducing him into that best-bro-friend stereotype, and for a game that was actually so short in narrative substance compared to P4AU, it was great. (I'm also convinced that P4D was trying to tell us Yosuke and Yu were dating but I'm not going to start on that again LOL)

And I think ultimately the reason why I feel like P4AU and P4D showcased a lot of growth for Yosuke is in his relationships with other people, because as much as Yosuke worries about how he's remained static, I think the fact that the others treat him with such respect (like when the first years and Teddie acknowledge that Yosuke is basically the team wrangler, and the difference between Yosuke at the start of P4G/in Magician compared to P4AU/D was someone who had become a lot more receptive about forming genuine relationships with other people instead of just protecting himself by surrounding himself with superficial relationships and yeah. yeah.

[majorasnightmare]

curious how would you rank the 9sols bosses so far

okay so this is just my opinion up to the cortex center cuz im currently getting my ass beat 💜 BUT ive done all the optional shit so far !! so heres my ranking

1: LADY ETHEREAL

MADOKA WITCH ASS BOSS FIGHT. THREE PHASES OF HYPE.

the entire leadup through the "hot springs". the reveal of what happened to the soulscape team. the way the background ost changed. the fucking CHANTING in the last platforming section broken up by her singing??? GOD.

the boss fight itself?? LUNACY. i love how its so aggressive and rewarding and how the first phase teaches you her moves so you can keep up as she ups the intensity, how she makes shadow clones for all the members of her team for her phase 3, its such an INTENSE fight that never feels unfair, i ALWAYS feel like im right on the brink of "getting" it, and visually its just gorgeous. i feel like nine sols peaks right here but im not even upset because GOD what a TREAT!!! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL my first three runs i died just from looking at the scenery!!! quite literally one of the best boss fights ive gotten to experience period, im gonna miss it when im done

2: Jiequan

super saiyan ass FREAK i LOVE him

another intensely punishing fight that has FANTASTIC buildup, they rly do a great job of making you HATE him, between locking you in prison and threatening shuanshuan. his whole EVERYTHING is so cool and interesting, the transmutation forges is such a kickass concept its going to live in my brain forever now. his ideology is genuinely nuts but entirely consistent with his life experience and i enjoy that he spends several cutscenes just in the nude because hes That Bitch. he has such an aristocratic bearing even despite being batshit that it rly sells the vibe of fighting a corrupt nobleman even tho that concept doesnt even really apply with the current state of affairs in game.

his boss fight was the closest i got to frustrated, its such a punishing fight but as a tutorial for unbounded counters its REALLY rewarding. figuring that out and successfully applying it in fight was so rewarding, especially because i had gotten the rest of his moveset down, so finally mastering counters felt like the last keystone in a nearly completed arch. his phase 2 super saiyan shit was so fucking funny even tho his teleports fucked my shit up crazy hands style.

frustrating but enjoyable!!

3: Xingtian

SORRY CHIYOU BUT HE WAS COMIN AT ME WITH AN AXE

as a rare Capra Demon DS1 defender, i always enjoy boss fights that make use of cramped arena space to make you aware of your spacing!! another hyper aggressive fight that doesnt let you get breathing room, forcing you to make it yourself. not particularly hard but fun nonetheless! and aesthetically VERY cool

4: Goumang

evil bird lady kinda hot!

the buildup here is what rly sells it, the entire greenhouse area is so delightfully disturbing and the jiangshi soldiers are REALLY cool!! the fight itself is pretty repetitive and the jiangshi combatants dont have enough in their kit to be really engaging, but props for making you manage two reviving enemies at once, keeping you from being able to "check out". i mean you can still check out anyways like i did by only killing one and getting the other to half, and then finishing it off while the first one revives before smacking goumang around, but the intention was to manage both bosses at once at i give it props for that

5: Kanghui

a glorified mob of enemies fight that earns bonus points for having the pipe refill station right outside and being existentially horrifying! i enjoy the detail that he despite being horrifically transformed, he keeps his familys ring on, as some tie back to the person he used to be. sorry about your everything buddy! however, cloud piercer s into mob quell talisman explosion

only took me a few tries and that was mostly cuz i was surprised by his blood spear explosion

6: Yingzhao

WHAT A BOSS DESIGN!!! WOAWG

not a lot to talk about here! i enjoy the fucked up centaur look, and a really good "proper" first boss fight (as opposed to the miniboss mfs youve been fighting up until then)

his phase 2 caught me completely off guard but IS genuinely pretty cool! i enjoy monsters that take the idea of a horse mounted spearman and fuse the soldier and horse together, which is like an entire CATEGORY of Cool Boss Designs. yingzhao earns bonus points for having metal plates that mimic an armored skirt on the back end of the horse

7: The Varying Enemy-Turned-Minibosses Scattered Throughout the Levels, And Also Baichang Technically

not a lot of memorable fight design going on here, just a higher intensity version of typically already annoying fights. The level design starts contributing more memorable details, like making sure all the archers are taken out in the factory, or finding and destroying a shield generator before actually getting into the fight (or finding the light switch in the mines), but overall its Just Some Guy with more health and a more aggressive moveset. the designs have all been really enjoyable so far tho and ive liked looking at them, but i HAVE cheesed several just out of boredom

8: Sky Rending Claw

what a nothingburger ass fight. much like yanlao himself, its very much a boss fight that overstays its welcome and wont get itself into the grave. yanlao himself has some of the better parts of the game under his belt, with a katana zero-esque meat grinder section forcing you to sprint your way through a killbox while he tries to snipe you (with bangin tunes in the background) that doubles as the defense mechanism for a vault containing a civilizations worth of treasures, and a genuinely funny bit of banter earlier where he tells old man anecdotes to babble on stalling for time until xingtian activates, but the sky claw section was just such a wet fart. the moveset was repetitive, the boss itself was dull and boring looking, the framing was done better literally a section ago with going through the vault, and my main reaction to all of it was "more?? theres MORE i have to do before you die??? ugh"

a thematically appropriate sendoff for yanlao but overall one that i could have done without. its giving "this could have been an email"

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

i finished season 2 of 9-1-1 last night, here’s my thoughts:

athena and her family are so important to me. i love them so much and i love how quickly they accepted bobby into the family (except for athena's parents). bobby is going to be a great stepfather, and I love the relationship between him and michael. bobby and athena's relationship is adorable, i love them and i love the way they talk to each other. the sudden engagement and wedding were a bit wild ngl, but damn bobby knows what he wants!!! bobby's struggle with addition and with the grief of what he lost is so important to me. him telling athena that he's struggling to stay on the wagon after eating those brownies is so important to me. i love him.

maddie buckley you are the love of my life, want to get married?? she is so brave and so cool and so strong and i LOVE LOVE LOVE her relationship with buckley and chimney. her growth throughout the show, the confidence she gained in doing her job. one of the lines that still flies around my head is "help is not coming". she is genuinely so great. i loved the episodes centered around doug finding her, she fought so much. and the scene where she gets back up and stumbles through the forest and buck finds her and runs and jumps over stones and shit to get to her is truly one of my all time favourite scenes. as an older sibling that shit is so beautiful to me. buck and maddie love each other so much. it ruined me ngl

chimney is such a fucking hero. i love him. he's a fantastic friend and somehow managed to save the fucking day while on sick leave. if he hadn't checked the news and hadn't called his team and then called tommy to ask for help with the fires, that whole neighbourhood would probably be gone. i love him so much. he is so patient and kind with maddie. he loves her so much but he also respects her and her boundaries, no questions asked. he is just such an amazing character and i love him and i love his friendship with hen, they are truly besties4life!!!

hen. idk how to put into words how much i love her and how much her being a lesbian and having a family means to me. her recording that audio message while stuck in that hotel in the earthquake episode broke me. she loves her family so much. eva hurt her so much and she could have just let her die, but instead she did her job and helped her. her selflessness and compassion is so amazing. her hen begins episode is wonderful i miss her and athena having more scenes together though

buck is going through it with his relationships this season. he clearly has abandonment issues, he clings to his thing with abby way longer than necessary out of a sense of guilt or gratitude and simply because he believes that he cant find someone else that likes him for him. and then taylor goes buck 1.0 on him (deserved!!) and then ali dates him for a while (wish we had seen more of that, instead of time jumps) but as soon as he gets grievously injured drops the bomb on him that she doesn't know how to be with him while he has this job, the job that means everything to him. he's a workaholic and needs therapy, this much is clear. he loves maddie and watching him realise in real time that his sister and his coworker like each other was HILARIOUS. his relationship with eddie..... no words. and he LOVES chris. and i love his friendship with carla!!

eddie diaz i am a lesbian and i am in love with you. the introduction.... alright gay ass. he is just there and hot and competent and buck gets all angry over it LMFAO. the fact that he was still a probie during all of season 2 is wild, that man is so smart and quick at his job. him literally spider-manning up a building to save that boy??? jesus. i love him and i love his love for chris. he clearly loves being a father so much and puts chris before everything. his partnership with buck at work and friendship outside of it is everything to me. they are bonded for life. his character arc and getting to know him this season was beautiful. i loved shannon but it was clear they would have only stayed together for the kid(s). he wasn't sure of anything until she mentioned she thought she was pregnant again. the fact that he got her back, only for her to want a divorce when he had just told her he wanted to be a family again and then her immediately dying.... that man goes through so much shit. also FUCK his family. dude had to bury his wife and mother of his son and they're trying to uproot him. i love him i love him i love him. he is such a good dad and so good at his job and he deserves the world.

the earthquake episodes were amazing, i loved having them all react to this one thing from all different sides instead of 5 different emergencies in one episodes. the hen/chimney begins and the bobby begins again episodes were so important to understand the characters and their relationships to each other. chimney losing kevin. i kinda saw that coming but still. and hen having to deal with all that shit as soon as she got to work at the 118, only for chimney to immediately try to adopt her as his friend. i love them. bobby was fucking amazing at showing the 118 that he was a great captain once he got there, i love understanding more of his story. he is a great captain. he might not go to therapy but at least he talks to the priests, which seems to help him a lot and thats all that matters.

ALSO THOSE TWO OLD GAYS THAT HAD SPENT THEIR ENTIRE LIVES TOGETHER AND WHEN THE ONE DIED THE OTHER DIED SHORTLY AFTER WHILE HOLDING HIS HUSBANDS HAND WAS SO FUCKIGN BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING I LOVED IT IM GONNA CRY I LOVE SEEING OLDER GAYS ON TV

also that scene at the end where civilians help life the truck off of buck's legs....crying.

hope i didnt forget anything! i currently have a headache, likely from always staying up late watching this fucking show.

bye

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Sneak Peek: Inside Blackbeard & Crew’s New Season 2 Looks

Breakups aren’t easy, but that’s especially true for the new and improved — depending on how you look at it — crew of the Revenge in Our Flag Means Death Season 2 premiering Thursday, October 5th on Max, as Blackbeard, a.k.a. Ed (Taika Waititi) continues to unravel after Gentleman pirate Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) abandoned him in Season 1.

As with the end of Season 1, Blackbeard recedes even further into the persona of himself painted by various wanted posters. He’s sporting the same black eye makeup as he did in the first season’s finale and also influencing the way his crew looks while serving him aboard the vessel previously helmed by Stede. Above and below, we’re delving into some of those details with exclusive photos, exclusive interviews, and a brand-new clip teasing the dynamic aboard the Revenge.

In the sneak peek, below, times are tense for Frenchie (Joel Fry), Jim (Vico Ortiz), Fang (David Fane), and the newest member of the team, Archie (Madeleine Sami), as they observe Blackbeard’s second in command, Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill). As seen in the minute-and-a-half exchange, Izzy’s getting testy with the shipmates when they question orders to throw treasure overboard. “It is not your place to tell me what does or does not make sense. It is your job to follow my f**king orders,” Izzy spits, emotion welling in his makeup-darkened eyes.

Fang is the first to note that Izzy doesn’t seem to be doing fine, and Jim steps forward to add, “Yeah, we think you’re in an unhealthy relationship with Blackbeard.” Additional tidbits from the crew include the fact that Blackbeard does “a lot of rhino horn” and he’s cut off more of Izzy’s toes.

In other words, Ed’s downward spiral is wreaking havoc on Izzy and the rest of the gang. But depending on how you feel about certain pirate looks, their exterior makeovers are sure to excite, regardless of the reasoning behind them.

“[Blackbeard] sort of has this Mad Max thing that we already established in Season 1, that’s so gorgeous and so unique to [him]. So I just wanted to up that ante,” costume designer Gypsy Taylor tells TV Insider. “We started with that Mad Max black leather violent side of him, and he’s sort of infiltrated this crew now. So they’ve taken it upon themselves to become Beard’s crew in whatever circumstance they’re in.”

“They’ve all taken to that color palette of the black leather and filth, which makes ’em look mean,” Taylor adds with a laugh, but makes it clear, “individually, I wanted to give [them each] a really unique look.” Teaming up with Taylor to accomplish that look is hair and makeup designer Nancy Hennah, who enhances the fantastic clothing ensembles viewers will see onscreen.

“We spent a lot of time working out what we were going to do for the raid makeups,” Hennah says of the Revenge crew. “Blackbeard in particular has lost it a bit and is really going off on a tangent, and the rest of the crew have kind of been pulled into that. We spent a lot of time working out what products were going to be good to emulate [something like the] grease found on the boat and they’ve smeared it on their faces.”

“Blackbeard is really struggling with having lost Stede and is leaning into that dark side, which is frightening for everybody else, but they’re sort of trying to play along,” Hennah continues. While fans may have already seen previously-released photos of the crew, Taylor and Hennah dug into their personal archives to share exclusive sketches and behind-the-scenes photos to provide a closer look at their process and each individual character’s look aboard the Revenge. Check them out below.

Our Flag Means Death, Season 2 Premiere, Thursday, October 5, Max

“With Jim, that’s a huge transformation,” Taylor says about star Ortiz’s onscreen evolution. “It was a really exciting one. We talked about it a lot with Vico, and I wanted to bring in a whole lot of ropes and things that they would’ve found on the ship to make an outfit out of and a giant fishhook that we made a belt out of.”

When it comes to the Revenge crew’s ensembles, there’s a focus on found materials doubling as clothing, “so sort of scrounging and finding elements around pirate ships that they could make a costume out of,” Taylor elaborates, noting that the pirates are being resourceful in “almost the same way that drag queens do.”

When it came to styling Ortiz in their costume alongside the other crew members, Hennah says, “Vico had a great new hairstyle, which we were really excited about, and we cut that early on in our testing phase. Then they had to hide [it].

Everywhere they went, they were wearing a hat.” It was all about “getting the right balance between the amount of hair on top and the amount of hair that we took [off] on the side,” she adds of Jim’s mohawk sported by Ortiz, which can be seen in the sketch and behind-the-scenes test photos.

Similar to Jim’s found fashion, Frenchie’s sporting an edgier look this season that is supposed to look like stolen wares from another pirate. “Because pirates steal a lot,” Taylor says, “they’ve quite often got cool things that they’ve stolen off of other pirates. And that’s where the inspiration for Frenchie’s jacket came.” As fans may recall, Frenchie found cats particularly terrifying in Season 1, so it makes sense that he’d emulate the feline, which has a motif on the back of his coat according to Taylor.

“Maybe he stole it from another pirate ship, and then he made it his own by putting this sort of ode to Desperately Seeking Susan on the back of his jacket with this rearing cat, which in the first season, the cat was very innocent lightly licking his paw, and now we’ve gone really manic and bad,” says Taylor.

Meanwhile, Blackbeard’s soft-spoken, but brutish when-needed crew member is enhancing his look from last season with some ornamental additions. “We didn’t want to change Fang too much, but I incorporated a whole lot of new elements to his costume,” Taylor teases. “So he’s got the teeth of sperm whales all around his necklace, and then he’s got walrus teeth coming out of his jacket. So he’s sort of made a new look based on animals that he might’ve found out in the open seas, like dead carcasses and things like that.”

This behind-the-scenes shot from Hennah offers a closer look at Fane’s Fang on set.

An exciting aspect of the season for Taylor and Hennah was the addition of Archie to the crew, giving them something new to craft. “Archie’s now part of the gang, and she’s just a badass,” Taylor gushes. “We figured she was sort of deep from the dark alleyways of New York in her sort of street punk aesthetic.”

One piece of Archie’s ensemble is an homage to one of Taylor’s favorite films, The Warriors. “She’s wearing a little Warriors red leather gang jacket,” Taylor shares, adding, “Her t-shirt is a really cool, very subtle print of Blackbeard’s wanted poster.” Why? “She’s a bit of a fan girl,” Taylor notes. “She really looks up to Blackbeard and how bad he is.”

When it comes to tattoos, Hennah says, “I try to talk about their personal heritage and where they’ve come from and if there’s anything that they want in terms of tattoos.”

For Sami, Hennah sought out designs with Fijian and Indian influence to reflect the actor’s personal heritage. “I approached a Henna artist, and we just got her to do a drawing of some designs,” Hennah reveals. “And then Madeline and a few of the other makeup team [members] and I spent about four or five hours just turning those little puzzle pieces into the tattoos.”

Sami loved her tattoos so much that Hennah says she was told Sami “is thinking about getting one of the tattoos for real.”

And when it comes to Izzy, he’s not changing things too much. “He’s just a man of his own. He wouldn’t really listen to Blackbeard,” Taylor says. “So there were very subtle things [that we were going to do], like adding studs to his gloves so that when he beat up people, it was a little bit more violent.

But in the end, we took it away. He’s enough of a badass on his own.” Ultimately, the only real change people will see on Izzy went the show returns is, “He got a bit dirtier from being at sea. We broke him down more, added a bit more sort of salt and all those crusty sort of overlays.”

When it comes to the crew’s man in charge, Blackbeard’s transformation has evolved a bit since viewers last saw him in Season 1. “I wanted to keep his leathers because pirates, as you see in Season 1, are at sea for a really long time. They don’t have a closet, unlike the Gentleman pirate Stede. So they’re always just wearing the same thing and getting dirtier and dirtier and dirtier.”

When a pirate dons a new garment though, it’s usually stolen. Such is the case for Blackbeard, according to Taylor: “We figured he’d stolen this black leather jacket in a raid, but he’d sort of made it his own in his own manic way, much [like] he’s done with the ship where [things are torn down and burned].”

Wanting to reflect the season’s production design in Blackbeard’s coat, Taylor says, “We burned it, and we ripped it, and we added six different belts to the sides that are holding it together, which would be like he murdered six pirates and stole their belts. And he’s started to collect a little bit more jewelry. So you’ll start to see some new rings and a little lovely pearl necklace that he’s stolen off of someone at the wedding party [seen in the teaser trailer] perhaps.”

As for Blackbeard’s makeup and hair, Hennah says, “We stuck mostly around his eyes. It just looked more sinister, and he was a lot more disheveled. He spends a lot of time this season wet, which is a bit of a nightmare when you’ve got beards and wigs and drying and getting back to dry. He has always had two wigs, and we got an extra one made this season as well because we were having to swap between wet and dry a lot.”

Apart from the extra wig, it was the tattoos that made up Blackbeard’s biggest makeup change. “We added quite a few tattoos,” shares Hennah. “I think in Season 1, he had around 24 tattoos, but at times this season, we were up to 30, and three of them were the big chest tattoo and then a brand new back tattoo. I worked with Dean Sacred at Sacred Tattoo for the big back tattoo design. He did a beautiful drawing for us of the skull with the snake coming out, the skull’s eyes with the snake crying.” As fans can see, the snake and skull sit above another tattoo with the words “Trust No One.”

Will he ever trust again after Stede left? Only time will tell.

Source: TV Insider

[sharksluvsoup]

Not even worth an dime

Summary: An glance into Cheshire’s head and thoughts before she let the team in Wordcount: 5042 Not beta read/edited (sorry if any character seems mischaracterize)

The distant sounds of gunshots rang in my head as a haunting memory as I found myself hunched over as my hands grasped each other as I tried to tune out the chatter of my teammates, even though we were going back to base it still felt like I was trapped on the field, with an quiet frustrated groan I sat up before anyone could tell anything was wrong. 

Less than an hour to base, I had to remind myself as I found myself starting to become impatient, god I could really use a cigarette right now.

But, before I could zone out once more, I was snapped back to reality as a voice called out to me. 

“Oi, lass are you still alive? You’ve been quieter than a mouse, even for your standards” my eyes glanced over to Soap, as I self consciously checked to see if he had any wounds. “Yes…I am alive…” I finally answered back after, finding no wound on him, which brought a strange sense of peace to me, for some reason. “I…was just thinking of the mission…it was a strange mission..indeed ” I say to explain my quietness as my eyes went back to staring at my gloved hands.

The mission had been strange for many reasons,it had felt too easy…but it had also felt like the slightest wrong move and everyone would have been dead in a second, like something had been waiting to be triggered off. I glanced back over to Soap. 

“Truly strange…” I found myself muttering. 

A part of me could tell he didn’t fully believe my words, as his eyebrows seemed to  knit together for a second before relaxing but decided to play along for my own sake for some reason. 

“Aye, it was” He answered back, his Scottish accent filling my brain once more, making a small tingling fill my head and I didn’t know why. Was it a feeling of longing that now filled my head? If it was, was it a romantic or platonic longing, either one felt like it could lead to similar results that I had faced in the past. 

“You did a fantastic job out, there lass” He said snapping me out for once again falling back into my own head, a bad habit I seemed to never be able to escape. 

“Um…thanks…you did good to…” I found myself mentally cursing myself with how bad that answer was, what kind of compliment was ‘you did good to?’ I cleared my throat as I quickly made up a better compliment even if it still sucked. “What I meant to say is that you did excellent…good explosives handling…best..i’ve properly seen” God, that sounds even worse, why is this so hard? I felt myself cringe up as I recalled the words I used ‘good explosives handling…best..i’ve properly seen’. Jesus, I couldn’t even form a proper sentence without pausing to think, I must sound like such an idiot right now. 

“Aw-shucks lass, you truly do know how to make a man feel special” Soap answered back with a chuckle, I tried to tell if he was being sarcastic, joking or pitying me, but it was so hard to tell, maybe it was both, maybe it was neither. I wish I could tell.

“...But are you truly okay, lass? You seem tense…and more zoned out than normal” 

I nodded my head back as I forced my voice out. “Yeah, yeah. Just exhausted from the mission.” I found myself saying as I glanced back to my hands to avoid any eye contact. 

“Aye, I can relate to that, lass, make sure to rest once we’re back to base” “he answered back, seeming to believe my half lie. “And when I mean an break lass, I mean no paperwork as well, no matter how tempting it is”

Before I could protest in any forms, Captain Price cut in before I could even open my mouth. “He’s right, an break or two would do you good, don’t want your burning yourself out or accidentally harming yourself” I felt more protests at their words fill my throat fill my mouth, as the sudden wave of sadness overtook me for some reason, how could I prove I truly belonged on this task force if I took a break. 

“An hour or two of relaxation will do you no harm, lass, don’t make me order you to take a break, Cheshire”  I sighed in frustration knowing there was no point arguing to him, especially that would show disobedience to him and could led to me getting punished or being told of, neither things I could handle right now.

“...Yes…captain” I mumbled quietly, not happy with the outcome, I could tell Gaz and Ghost was listening in to the conversation, as gaz quickly glanced between me and Captain Price before bringing his attention back to the helicopter’s window; while Ghost made the less subtitle route and stared at me for a few seconds, his brown eyes nearly meeting my gaze, before he went back to fidgeting with one of his throwing knives.  I felt my body tense up slightly when he patted me on the shoulder out of nowhere, but it wasn’t out of fear of being hurt or anger of being touched…I felt myself longing to be touched gently for a little bit longer, to be held close by someone as I sobbed into arms, but the longing felt so selfish, and the selfish feeling left an bitter everlasting taste to my tongue. 

I felt a small ping of disappointment over take any feeling I felt at the moment as he removed his hand from my shoulder after giving it one last pat, yet like always I didn’t voice my disappointment and instead I quickly forced myself to forget about the small interaction all together so I wouldn’t be so confused; at the moment of time I wanted to scream out in frustration from how confused I felt, it truly was a terrible emotion to feel.

“A rest would do ya well, lass” Was all he said before sitting back at his seat and discussing with Gaz how the mission went and once more I found myself going back into my own thoughts as I stared at the seat Roach normally set on when he joined us, his absence leaving an strange bitter feeling I couldn’t describe why. I barely knew him, yet I felt disappointed not being able to see if he was well or okay. 

And I truly didn’t know why, maybe my tiredness was once again trying to catch up with me.    

I soon found myself slouching down in relief once the helicopter landed at base, I could soon be alone to be free to deal with my emotions in the privacy of my own room, I felt my body move before my mind could process what was happening as I quickly left the helicopter and made my way to my locker to put away my gear and weapon, I ignored someone calling out my name as I took a sharp turn and got out of view from the rest of the time. 

I could feel my heart race in my chest as I finally made it my locker and removed the heavy armour I had spent hours and hours wearing, it felt like absolute heaven to be free from the weight, though the cool air hitting against the cuts I tried to hide away made me wince from shock, as I had nearly forgotten I had them in the first place. I sat down against my locker as I quickly cleaned my weapons I had used during the mission. I knew that I would hate myself even more if I ever skipped this part, as I didn’t want to risk any future accidents because of the gun breaking down from neglect. 

After finishing the mundane task I did after every mission I went on, I found myself wandering the halls as I made my way back to my room, as I thought about Captain Price and Soap’s words about taking a break. I knew I should listen to their words, especially Captain Price’s words but what they don’t know won’t hurt them, I really didn’t want to fall behind on my tasks, after all I wouldn’t be worthy of being part of 141 if I did. 

I could already feel a headache from the conflicting thoughts that began to form in my head and argue with each other. 

“Боже, мне нужна сигарета прямо сейчас (God, I need a cigarette right now)” I mumbled to myself as I made it to a random vending machine as I soon found myself staring at the drinks that it had to offer. I knew there were cheaper options but I’m a busy woman with no time to truly waste. I found myself fishing out some lose change I had in my pant pockets, I quietly started at them as I counted how much I had, I had enough for an bottle of water and breakfast bar one of the more healthier choices, or the other two options were an coke and breakfast bar which I could barely afford, it may be less healthy than the first option but it did soothe my sweet tooth craving or the third option which I could barely afford was an monster energy and nothing else, unlike the other two it would help me stay awake longer to do more tasks. 

Which made it the clear winner, after all I really wasn’t hungry. I started at the two flavours the vending machine had to offer, after a bit of thinking I ended up picking the Mango loco flavour. The second I had crouched down to grab the drink, was the second my brain finally processed a foul metallic taste in my mouth that made me want to gag. I was now aware of the blood in my mouth, I forced myself to swallow it down, so I didn’t make any mess. 

I grabbed the energy can before standing up, as I forced myself not to gag at the fact I had consumed my own blood. All I knew is that I had to take time out of doing the tasks I needed to do, to go and patch myself up…

I guess I could count it as my break I was told to do. I soon made it to my room in the barracks and unlocked the door before heading inside, the dim light of the evening sky filled the room from an small gap in the curtains as I shut the door behind me, as I placed my energy drink down at my desk, as I swiftly removed my shoes and shoved them in an random empty corner of the small room. I let out a choked out gag that I had been holding the second I realised that blood had been dripping in my mouth, I stumbled into the small side bathroom my room had been luckily blessed, it was absolutely tiny, but still absolutely perfect for me. I lazily placed my mask on the bathroom sink’s counter as I turned the bathroom’s light on, I winced when I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked absolutely horrid and felt it as well. 

My eyes followed as blood dripped down from my nose into my mouth, it must have started when my face was slammed into the floor. Then it must have started bleeding again somewhere around the helicopter being close to base, I sighed as I felt around my nose and pinched it to check if it was broken or not.

After a long and annoying check I had decided it wasn’t broken, as I coughed up the blood that had dripped into my mouth. The iron taste of my own blood and mucus mixing together felt like it was coating the roof of my mouth in a thick coat as I applied pressure to my nose to stop the bleeding, the longer the wait the more blood that seemed to drip into my mouth no matter how hard I tried to stop it from, but eventually it stopped and I sighed in relief as I spat out any remaining blood and mucus from my mouth. 

I quickly grabbed the nearly empty bottle mouthwash from the windowsill, I removed the lid as I watched as blood dripped onto the sink and the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, my eyes didn’t leave the bloody mess as I poured an small amount of the mouthwash into my mouth as the as the sharp and familiar taste of listerine overtook the bitter metallic taste of my blood, both tastes began to mix together into an vile taste nearly making me gag as with an choked up cough, as I found myself nearly hurling up some sick from how grossed out I felt. 

“Jesus…that was fucking pathetic of me….” I groaned as I put the listerine bottle to the side, my eyes refused to look at the mirror reflection as it melted into an deformed bloody blob, I opened the medication cabinet before stripping out my dirty uniform I needed to clean soon. The cold bathroom air hit my bare skin as I stared at the medication I had in stock as I unclasped my bra and let it fall to the ground with a quiet thud, before slipping out the rest of my underwear. 

Even without the mirror reflection I could tell I was covered in cuts, scrapes  and formed bruises, I blankly stared at my stomach as I noticed an deeper cut, an bullet that nearly hit me must have deeply scraped across my skin, it had been an close call, but it was an call I was used to know. 

I grabbed the few medical supplies I had as I checked how deep the cut was. “Please no stitches, please dont need any fucking stitches” I mumbled to myself over and over again. 

I sighed in relief once I saw I could just use some butterfly tape instead, even if the cut screamed for the usage of stitches I simply didn’t have the time to stitch the wound up yet or the time to go to the medical ward to get it stitched up, as I might be forced to go of the next mission. 

And if I miss the next mission my worth in this task force decreases, and I do not want that, as I barely deserve to be in the task force in the first place. But first I needed a shower, I needed to clean off the dirt and grime that now covered my pale skin from the mission; I had a few minutes I could spare to freshen up. It just meant less time to sleep, however I could go another sleepless night or two before my health was really at risk. 

And it could count as being part of my break/ relaxation time. I stepped inside the shower the second I turned it on, the icey cold water hit my skin harshly as I roughly scrubbed away and filth from my skin, some parts of my skin ended up being rubbed so raw that they started to bleed, but it meant there was no type of filth left on those parts, and anyway my uniform would hide the redden parts of skin, like it hid the rest of the scars and imperfections that littered my skin. After washing my hair and wincing in slight agony as shampoo and conditioner ended up brushing against cuts, I was finally done wasting time freshening up.

I turned the shower off and squeezed some water out my hair, before wrapping a towel around my body and hair as I stepped out the shower, the towel around my body quickly got abandoned as I finally patched up my wounds as I covered the deep wound I had found earlier on my stomach with an absurd amount of butterfly tape. I had done the bare minimum to make sure they were clean so they wouldn’t get infected. I grabbed some random painkiller bottles from the medication cabinet, I quickly read which pills I had grabbed as I grabbed a select handful of them to stop any pain or agony my body was feeling or would begin to feel. 

I made a mental note to order some more the next time I got paid; I gagged at the feeling of the pills going down my throat, I petted my throat to get rid of the sensation. “Боже, это какая-то ерунда(God, this is some kind of nonsense)” I croaked out as I used my hands as a makeshift cup to collect some water from the bathroom sink tap, I sighed in relief as I gulped the handful of water down, though I found myself nearly gagging again as the powdery taste lingered in my mouth still even after I gulped down the water, it lingered in my mouth long enough for me to tempted to gulp down some listerine but at the moment of time I had a bit of self control and I could tell I was running low, so I put the lid back on the bottle and put it back where I had originally grabbed it from. 

I quietly sat down on the toilet lid as I plugged in my old hairdryer I’ve had for years by now, as I began to quickly dry and brush my hair, this would take an great chunk of my break time, I doubt I would have much rest time after I was done freshening up, though I should be grateful, it’s not going overtime and making me behind in work, after my hair was completely dried and knot free, I stumbled back to my room after lazily throwing my dirty uniform and underwear into my washbasket. 

I soon made it to my nearly completely empty closet, as I hadn’t unpacked most of my clothes yet, I hadn’t had the time nor needed them so far. I grabbed a tank top and a clean pair of underwear before putting them on and finally stretching as my muscles and back pretty much cried in relief from the stretch. 

With an final wiggle of my shoulders my eyes made contact with my desk as I grabbed a random pair of stockings to keep my legs warm, I truly didn’t have much ‘relaxation’ time left, soon I would be back at my desk, which I seemed to spend most of my time if i’m not training or doing any missions. 

With how long I spent at my desk typing and clicking away I might as well be fused to my desk chair at this point, I would still be nearly the same amount of usefulness as I am now, though my worth in the task force would go down greatly as I wouldn't be able to go onto the field anymore but  perhaps I would be more useful when it came to doing computer tasks that needed to be done asp as there would be nothing distracting me or needing my attention instead; though my usefulness would probably quickly waste away as my body would grow weaker and began to rot away from neglect, and being fused to my desk chair would most likely be absolutely painful, constant pain 24/7, no way of stopping of it. 

And what if no one noticed me not going on mission’s somehow, then I would be left alone to rot and starve to death all alone, without a way to stop my suffering, no one to hold me…as I die. 

 I could feel my body tense up at the thought of dying such a death as it truly wasn’t a pleasant thought to think about.

The thought of my body slowly decaying into a pile of my own blood in feces as my small amount of worth and usefulness faded away would definitely be haunting me the next time I fall asleep. I roughly slammed my palm into my head to force the thought out of my head, not caring how hard I hit my head, as I hit the same spot over and over until the thought was out of my head, most likely in the process leaving a bruise would form in that area in a few hours but I couldn't care about that right now, and most likely wouldn’t care about it in a few hours as my mask would hide the evidence away. I just wanted the thought out of my head and for good.

I had much more important things to think about, I soon found myself slouched down at my desk as I opened my energy drink and took a sip of it as I logged into my computer to do my task’s I needed to do asp to keep my value up for being in the team, though I did have a few minutes to spare and I really needed something to take my mind of today’s events. 

I sat up as I decided to take a five minute break, I did not have alcohol to drink to numb nor did I want to rely on it to, but if I remember correctly I still had some cigarettes in my desk drawer. I opened the drawer as my hands delved in, pushing past the knives and other stuff I had shoved into the drawer without any thought. I could feel some cuts form on my hand as I finally was able to grab a cigarette and lighter, most likely just some nicks and cuts most likely nothing important that needed cleaning. 

I soon pulled out a cigarette and an lighter as I stood up and made my way to my window, as the night sky greeted me, as I opened the window slightly so I wouldn’t trigger an fire alarm as I lit the end of the cigarette before taking a deep breath of it, the disgusting but overpowering taste of nicotine, tobacco and smoke filled my mouth and senses, most of me wanted to gag but the cigarette was doing its job and distracting me mentally.  

I soon exhaled the smoke as I watched it escape through the window, the night sky and empty outside hiding my actions away, as I took another inhale of the cigarette. It might not be alcohol, but damn did it take my mind off things for the time being, I knew nothing I did to cope was healthy but does it truly really matter?

I’ll probably be killed on the field or by my own hands, it’s just a matter of time on who’s quicker with the trigger. After the taste became too much for me to cope with as I began to gag I soon put the cigarette out on my thigh before flushing it down the toilet. Before finally sitting back to my desk after closing my curtains and window once more. 

Break time was now over, and for good, it was time for much more important things, such as the ocean of task’s I had to do before their deadline arrive and I find myself drowning in an ocean of tasks and self disappointment from letting everyone down; something I refused to let happen even if it meant missing dinner and some hours of sleep. 

Time seemed to pass on quickly as my fingers typed and clicked away on my keyboard and mouse as the computer light filled my eyes, it was already 3am, yet I didn’t feel tired nor did I feel any ounce of hunger, perhaps it was the energy drink and lingering adrenaline from today’s mission that was making ignore those needs, either way I was very grateful as it meant I was able to finish my task I needed to do. 

“Damn…I must either be time blind or time is just too fast for me to keep track of” I mumbled as I submitted the last task I needed to submit. 

And since I didn’t feel an ounce of tiredness I could research more about the mission location to see what made the mission feel so strange to me, since the feeling could have been for an good reason or for an completely absurd and stupid reason that I should be used to now, I rubbed my eyes as I grabbed my reading glasses from their hiding spot and put them on. 

I could hear the faint whispers of some rookies sneaking back into base when they weren’t supposed to be out in the first place, but instead of writing an report to send to an higher up, or scolding them myself or heck even scaring them I decided to ignore them, it wasn’t my problem if they got caught by someone like Captain Price or Ghost. 

Though I would have to admit, their happy whispers of chatter to each other made me feel a strange feeling in my stomach. It wasn’t anger or the feeling of dread as I knew what those two feelings felt quite well. I paused as I tried to pinpoint the emotions I felt as my mood suddenly dropped. 

I felt…so sad and lonely, I could also feel a seedling of jealousy form in my stomach, and I knew why.. 

I felt jealous from how happy and open they seem to be with each other, as if they knew each other since the start of time, a feeling I could have nearly related to in the past…but right now, I would never be close to relating to that feeling..and properly never will…for everyone’s sake. 

I needed to stay away from everyone for my own sake and their own sake, after all I was the reason I permanently lost the two people who truly cared about me, my father and my second captain. If I hadn’t been born my dad would most likely still be alive, living a happy life that I could only dream about having. If I had kept the wall between me and my second captain, perhaps he would still be alive, running his task force as if the possibility of him dying because of my luck wasn’t even a possibility. 

And anyone else who ‘seemed’ to care about me ends up betraying me or abandoning me or seemingly forgetting about me all together. 

Maybe I was cursed, just like my uncle mentioned day after day since I started my military journey years ago, maybe I truly did belong to the punishment and torture hell had waiting for me once I die. 

I should be used to this lonely feeling, after all distancing myself is the least I could do for my sinful existence, so why does it hurt so much? 

Why does it hurt so much when I remember how unloveable I have become over the years? 

“заткнись, заткнись, заткнись (shut up, shut up, shut up)” I soon myself sobbing as my hands clawed at my ears as I tried to get rid of the thoughts. 

What had I done to deserve a life like this?

What terrible thing did I do for god to make my life an living fucking HELL?

“IT’SNOTFAIRIT’SNOTFAIR” my hands gripped my hair as I found myself breaking down once more, like I tended to do, like an pathetic broken record player forced to loop every sound it could possibly make as I abruptly stood up from my desk. 

“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?”

“WHAT DID I DO WRONG?” I found myself nearly shouting as I found myself once more waiting for an answer from a god who didn’t even seem to hear me pleas and cries of help. I found myself often chanting over and over and over again as I laid on my bed.

“..w-why…” My voice went weak once more. 

“..w..why…won’t you answer me..” I sobbed as I tried once more to get an answer, yet no answer came.

 “...did…i…did something…wrong..”

“FOR FUCK SAKE ANSWER ME, ANSWER ME, ANSWER ME”

“ANSWER ME, YOU ANSWER OVER PEOPLE’S CRIES FOR HELP, WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER MINE?” 

“WHAT DID I DO, THAT WAS SO WRONG?” I yelled out into my pillow in frustration as rage and sorrow thought inside of my head for control, both emotions seeming to overtake each other the second the other one grew. 

“...why..won't…you answer me…” I sobbed quietly as my voice became hoarse from the yelling I found myself nearly doing. 

“..what…did I do that was so wrong?” I could feel my hands grip my throat, the temptation to squeeze so hard that something broke and left me suffocating like a fish on land was too tempting at the moment of time. 

“Is…my existence that sinful?” I sobbed as I looked up to the ceiling as if the answer would magically appear on it, but nothing appeared as the only sound that filled my room was my quiet pathetic sobs as my sobs soon became angry curse’s once more. 

“WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER ME?” I yelled as my hands tighten around my neck as I let out a long string of curses to myself and the world, but I soon found myself collapsing back onto my bed as my cursing faded back into pitiful shaky sobs as my hands gripped my pillow and held it close. 

I found myself frozen up as I sobbed the sorrow out of my cold sinful heart for the time being. 

I felt so exhausted once my sobbing slowly faded away into small whimpers that soon disappeared as fast as they arrived, leaving me alone in my room as the bright light of the bulb irritated my eyes as I numbly glanced at my alarm clock. 5AM, I had wasted all my night pathetically sobbing and screaming at myself, I had missed any opportunity to get any sleep or to research yesterday’s mission location, I would have to do it later if I had any free time.

After all, it is the start of a new day, and I mustn't be late to start it, no matter what tries to hold me back.

[infinitestarsdev]

Devlog 2025-02-28

Happy Devlog Friday to all of you!

My day job continues to be a job during the day, but despite that, we've been chipping away at Infinite Stars. I started coding the completed scenes this week, and Crowbie and Ur-Majesty have been invaluable in getting the last few scenes done. (We had a 'writing party' earlier this week; it was more of an excuse to reconnect with everyone on the team, but we did get a bit of writing done!)

If you didn't check last week's devlog, you should do so. We've got some cool outfit stuff planned.

We also have Andrea's pinup, sfw and nsfw available for Patrons this month, and Lahkhadia's pinup will be dropping early next week. We're planning on doing a new Lochem and a new Veera pinup next, so stay tuned.

Some of you received a priority and private invite to beta test the new content soon. These invites have gone out to everyone who gave great beta testing feedback on the first part of Episode 4. There are limited slots available, and priority will be given to previous beta testers. If you would also like to throw your hat in the ring to beta test for us, please go ahead and fill in the form over here. (No need to do so again if you've already applied for the priority invite!)

Project Syndicate and Draegan Herald continue to make progress and should be ready for release shortly after the next Infinite Stars release.

This is also the final heads-up about our price increase from the 1st of March. In case this is the first time you've heard of this, Patreon has been nagging us to do a price increase to adjust to inflation (it seems like they care about the sustainability of the project). If you're an existing subscriber, you won't be impacted for at least another month, and Patreon will give you an opportunity to downgrade or cancel your membership, should you wish to do so. If you're a new subscriber (after the 1st of March), the new pricing will take immediate effect for you.

We've taken this opportunity to shake up our reward tiers and benefits.

In a nutshell:

We'll be offering a new citizen/tip jar tier for those of you who wish to continue supporting the development at the current $3 tier.

The ensign tier will change from $3 to $5

The Lieutenant tier will change from $8 to $10

The Commander tier will change from $12 to $15

The remaining tiers won't have their pricing changed, but we have added additional benefits where you can 'commission' new outfits for your favourite crew members while helping us expand and develop the new outfit system. While we experiment with this, the tiers will have limited availability and be on a first-come-first-served principle.

We'll also add an Architect tier with an honorary dev flair and a few other unique benefits.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! I'm running late for a special birthday party, so I do need to go, but I hope you're all safe!

[crescencestudio]

Intertwine!! WOW - you and your team did such an amazing, stunning, stellar, fantastic job. This story is going to stick with me for a while. it is also SO inspiring to know something so powerful can be created in so short a time period. You devs are absolutely crazy haha (but in a good way).

I've been eyeing some of the other Jam submissions, but... but there are so many. Are there any you have played and would personally recommend? Ideally with similar themes or softer stories?

ahhh thank you so much anon!!!!! i’m so happy it left an impact like that :’) i hope it leaves u with the happiest, warmest feelings <3 and yes! i was rly excited about otojam bc it would be this little story and experience that had to be contained within two months (in complete opposition to alaris which has taken eons). i would recommend a jam for any creative person it’s such a fun, helpful way of pushing urself to see what u can create in as little time as possible 💖

there are a lot of otojam submissions this year. very much like a little christmas for our community haha ^^

i haven’t gotten a chance to check out many bc catching up with work and resting but the ones that have caught my eye that might be in a similar genre are:

Project Blue

Silhouette (this one is very high on my list. i love another game this team has put out and this particular game looks very light hearted and fun/sweet!)

LyteLove

Potion Panik

Between: Stardust Rail (haven’t seen a lot of ppl talking about this one but the art is extremely pretty and soft!)

When the Wind Blew You Away (in terms of “softness” i’d say this game seems closest to intertwine! it seems to explore some of those softer, longing, intimate parts of love)

[lamuradex]

40K In 42 Days Update: Week One

@the-wip-project

Started with 20,191. I'm now at 24,331.

So that means I'm 4140 Words in. 10.35%.

I think I might be a little behind a week into the challenge, but I'll catch up. I'm not gonna let myself get too stressed by all this.

For this challenge I'm continuing my latest novel The Madman and The Princess, a comedic crime drama, which features a pair of crooks, Gideon and Madeline, trying to make their way in the world, all the while dealing with bigger criminals who keep trying to cause them trouble.

And, just because I'm bored, I'm going to post the last section I've been working on, where Madeline is part of a heist crew, and she's stuck with the insufferable team hacker while robbing someone's house and disabling the security.

Excerpt below the break

Madeline started looking around the room. A few bookshelves, multiple hard drives, a few processors branded with SuperTech, so they were almost certainly in the right place. No valuables though, which was disappointing.

“So, what I’m doing is, I’m plugging into the system and attacking the Log In Protocols with various programs. One’s that will bypass the password and let us in,” Charles explained.

“Great,” Maddy answered with very little interest.

“I just need to get something into the OS, make it boot up in safe mode, and thus bypass the log in altogether.”

“Grand,” she said with more emphasis.

“And then I’ll be able to-”

“Fantastic!” she interrupted sharply. She was still searching the room by torchlight, but could hear how put out he was. She didn’t care. “Isn’t all the security footage usually stored in a hard drive anyway? Couldn’t we just steal that?”

Charles flapped his lips like she’d just proposed flying out of there. “Are you insane? There could be so many back-ups. And even if not, it’s better to make sure the footage isn’t still on the computer.”

“Then why don’t we just take the whole computer? I’m sure it’s worth something,” she suggested.

“Yes, but I’d love to see you carry it out of here,” Charles shot back.

Maddy glared. “Ever been slapped by a plastic hand, Charles?”

“Pardon?”

“Would you like to be?” She brandished her prosthetic.

Charles grimaced, priming some insult. Likely one concerning dexterity. But Maddy didn’t give him the chance.

“There’s a safe over here, by the way.” She shone her torch at it. No picture to hide this one, it was a black rectangle in the wall with a keypad on it.

“Interesting,” Charles sprang out of his chair. “Let’s see what goodies are in here.” He popped on his headset and got Gloria on the line. “Gloria, I need info on a Hazard Safe 4013, serial number 345-” and Maddy stopped listening. She wandered to the computer, the tablet plugged in and doing… something. Then she paused. A metaphorical bulb came on over her head.

Security’s greatest weakness was always human error, or so Gideon had always taught her. You could walk right in to or out of any building with the right uniform and a confident enough attitude. All it took was a lazy guard who didn’t want to check credentials, or someone who could be intimidated out of doing their job.

And this security room was inside someone's house. Surely, if someone was in here, as they already were, then that meant they’d already beaten the security, right? And from what she knew, Efram Malik was in his forties. He was old. The kind of man who may have forgotten his dog and left it to his staff to manage for the weekend. 

She leaned around the monitor and checked the back. And, while not on the monitor itself, there was a little scrap of yellow paper sticking out from under the mouse mat. It was a post-it note. On it was written “Mailk1985SUPERSTAR!” in messy handwriting.

Without checking with Charles, she typed it in and unlocked the computer.

“I’m in,” she said dramatically.

“What!” Charles looked back.

Maddy got up and didn’t care to explain. “You two got that safe open yet?”

“What? No? How did you-”

“Have you tried powder on the keypad to check for fingerprints. That’s worked for me in the past,” she bold facedly lied.

“I’ll… I’ll get to that computer in a minute. Don’t touch anything else.”

“You sure? I could check the cameras to see where the valuables are?” she suggested.

Charles flapped, stuck between working on the safe and working on the computer.

“Do you want me to work on the safe? You can hack the system or whatever?”

“Um… Yes, that sounds right,” Charles agreed, sounding a little confused at even that decision.

“Then I’ll need your headset, right? Have Gloria walk me through the safe?” She stuck out a hand to accept it.

Charles thought, but clearly couldn’t come up with an argument. He passed over the Bluetooth earpiece and a small bag of tech tools. Maddy clipped on the earpiece.

“…and what do you mean you’re alone with her? Charles? Answer me?” Gloria called.

“Charles can’t come to the phone right now. He wants me to get the safe open while he deals with the cameras and such,” Maddy answered in her best call centre voice.

“What? Why are you on Charles’s phone?”

“I literally just said,” Maddy stated. “Now, how am I getting into this safe. Because I could just take a crowbar to it if it’s easier.”

“No!” Gloria stopped her. “Seriously, Charles wants you to open the safe?”

“He’s very busy,” Maddy brushed her off, temper rising.

“How much do you know about private security?”

“I’m going to say very little.”

“And what about coaxial ports and cables?”

“Even less.”

“And you’re supposed to get a safe open? Oh, honey,” Gloria crooned.

Maddy took a breath, counting to ten in her head. “Look, all you need to do is tell me what bits go where and we can do this. If not, we can wait until Charles is done with the computer. So, what are we doing?”

Gloria sighed. “If I must. Tell me, are there any ports on the front of the safe?”

Maddy looked. “No.”

“No little divots? Little plug sockets? You know what a plug looks like, right?”

Maddy did her best to shoot a scowl down the phone line. “Did you really just ask that?”

“Are there any holes on the front of the safe?” Gloria asked slowly.

“No there are not,” Maddy answered slower. “The front is a clean matt-black with a ten number keypad. There’s a digital display for the numbers but the classic sort like a calculator display. There are no ports of any kind. So, now what?”

Gloria thought a moment. “Can you find any powder in your vicinity? There might still be residue on the buttons.”

Maddy gritted her teeth so hard it hurt.