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shadow-assassin-blix · 4 years ago

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It Belongs in a Museum

CHAPTER 3

A/N: Okay. Lots sexy times for this one. A sex scene that was slightly inspired from... a certain... scene.. from Narcos. If you’ve seen it, you’ll know. (sex, blowjob, fingering, light choking). The scene in the lake was inspired from a movie called 6 Days, 7 nights. Um. That’s about it.

Everything tag: @mikeisthricedeceased

Pedro tag: @fioccodineveautunnale (another person requested to be tagged in pedro stuff, via the form but i cant find you? i know its m-1234 starts it but i think a number may have been left off? let me know)

A full week has passed since their new protectors had joined them. Vixen, Ezekiel, and Reina had spent the majority of the week creating a new path to the other side of the temple. They also set up lights and were in the process of documenting as much as they could. Vixen, who had plans to go to the nearby town to try and develop photos, wanted to bathe first.

She made her way to a nearby lake, with her eco-friendly soaps and shampoo/conditioner, and change of clothes. She had attempted to ditch Veracruz while he was barking orders, but he apparently caught on quickly.

“You don’t take your security very seriously, do you?” Veracruz asked behind her, quickly catching up to her.

Vixen rolled her eyes at that. “No. I just wanted privacy. Like most people do when they want to bathe.”

“Yes. Do you also want to be attacked again, all by yourself, against a group of men who would also probably try to take advantage of you in your vulnerable state?” He mocked.

Vixen sighed, annoyed, continuing to the lake. They arrived at the lake, and she quietly set her stuff down onto a flat boulder. She began to take off her clothes, reveling the bikini top and swim shorts she had on underneath. She took a few steps hesitantly, expecting it to be cold, but was pleasantly surprised by the warmth.

She sighed happily as she waded into the deeper waters. She dunked underneath, scrubbing her hair in the water, making sure it got wet throughout.

As she came back up, she noticed Veracruz had taken a seat on another boulder and was watching her with mild amusement.

She raised an eyebrow and began to ask him what was so amusing when she stopped suddenly. Something…. Had just crawled into her shorts.

“Veracruz… ummm… can you… can you help me? Please?” She asked horrified.

“Oh, now you want my help?” Veracruz asked teasing.

“Be serious, V. I think… a snake… is in my shorts… please, get off your ass… and help me,” She said through gritted teeth.

He coughed trying to cover up a laugh as he stripped down to his boxers and joined her in the water.

“I mean… I could… try and grab it...” She muttered worriedly.

“Hmm. Wouldn’t do that… might be poisonous,” He countered in a tone that suggested he was enjoying this far too much.

“Well. What do I do?” She asked growing annoyed.

Veracruz moved closer to her and said, “I’ll get it and kill it.”

He gently slipped his hand down her shorts, a smile tugging at his lips.

“I better not see you smiling,” She warned, her eyes narrowing at him.

“Never,” He replied, failing to conceal his smile.

She felt his hand brushing her thighs and hips, purposely missing the very obvious creature that was wrapping itself around her leg.

When he finally lifted his hand, he presented a small snake, of which he snapped its neck and threw its corpse to shore.

Vixen shuddered slightly, “Gross. Now I see why the professor hates them.”

She looked up at Veracruz who eyes had darkened. He hooked a finger into her shorts and pulled her forward. The sudden movement caused her to stumble into his chest, her hands splaying out onto his pecs.

She returned her gaze back up to his, just as his hands reached down, grabbing her ass firmly, and lifting her up. Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist, as her arms encircled his neck. His lips find hers swiftly, dragging them into a deep kiss. One of his hands slid up and under her top, taking her breast into his hand, flickering over the nipple teasingly.

The sensation made her gasp, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Their mouths battled each other for a moment before she pulled away trying to catch her breath. She bit her lip as she looked at him, motioning with her head over to the shore. He took the cue and carried her back to land.

As he laid her down on the ground, his hands made quick work of the top strings of her bikini and her shorts. He hovered over her, pressing kisses to her neck and chest, biting here and there. His tongue lavished over her nipples, before drawing them into his mouth to suck on them. When he pulled away, he allowed his teeth to drag across them.

Her moans were soft for the most part, but when he moved further down between her legs, gently blowing on her cunt, she groaned loudly.

“Now, now, princess. You have to remember to be quiet. Don’t want anyone… interrupting us and seeing do we?” He teased pressing a kiss to her thigh. “Unless… you want us to get caught? Does that excite you? The possibility of getting caught?”

Vixen shook her head no, biting her lip.

Veracruz dragged a finger up and down her slit, commenting, “I think you’re lying. Look at how wet you are?”

He showed off his finger, as it glistened.

“I was also just in a lake. What makes you think that’s from you?” She challenged, raising an eyebrow at him.

His eyes narrowed as his smirk grew. He lowered his hand back down dragged the finger up and down once more, before plunging it deep within her. His finger was soon joined by two others while his thumb brushed against her clit several times. Her hips began to wiggle and thrust to his movements, wanting more, but Veracruz was having none of that. His other hand came forward and stopped her movements, with a firm push.

His fingers moved swiftly, finding a spot that made her see stars as she came. She had to slap her hand over mouth to muffle the small scream that threaten to break out.

He pulled his hand from her, showing her them, “I’m pretty sure that’s not from the lake, sweetness.”

She rolled her eyes, before sitting up, and grasping his face and kissing him. As they kissed, she slipped her hands into his boxers, running it up and down his length. She gently tugs at his boxers, wanting them off. He shoves this down haphazardly, not wanting to break the kiss.

She positioned herself into his lap, slowly lifting herself before easing down onto him. The both of them moaned softly as she took him. Once she was fully seated, she gently grinded against him, before lifting her hips up and down. Her pace started slow, but picked up speed, that was assisted by Veracruz; his hands holding her in a bruising grip.

He thrusted up several times, which just added to the intensity of it all. He suddenly stops her and pulls out. She looked at him confused for a moment. He moved her on to her hands and knees, re-entering her from behind. The new angle threw her for a loop. The thrusts felt deeper and it felt amazing to feel him drag along her folds.

One of his hands, curled around to her front, and lightly grasped her throat. She could feel his grip tighten and ease randomly, the movement adding a taste of danger. He pulled her off her hands, his grip still around her throat, while his other began to play with her clit.

Her hands reached back for him, one around his neck to bury into his hair, and the other grasped the arm that was holding her throat.

His movements quickly led to her orgasming again, his following a moment later. When his thrusts came to a stop, he held her to him for a moment, kissing up and down her neck, praising her.

“You did so well, my dear. Good girl,” He whispered into her ear.

He slowly pulled out and she fell forward a bit, trying to catch her breath. It took a few minutes, before her legs would cooperate and let her stand back up. Veracruz had already redressed by that time and was staring at her with a proud smirk.

She quietly cleaned up, and washed herself off, like she originally had planned, this time not caring to be au natural in front of him. Got dressed in her clean clothes, and they began to make their trek back to camp, to drop off her things, and grab all of the film and SD cards from the digital cameras. Once she had gathered all that she needed, her and Veracruz made their way back down to where his team had parked their jeeps.

They jumped into one of them and began making their way back to civilization. The drive to the nearby town took 2 hours. Developing all of the photos took another 2 hours, by the time she had printed off the last of the photos, and paid for them, it had begun to rain.

They raced to the safety of the jeep and sat inside it for waiting for the rain to pass. While they waited, they talked.

“So, how long will you be staying in Colombia?” He asked somewhat boredly.

“3 months. We have 3 other countries to explore, before heading back to the states. Why? You going to miss me?’ She teased with a smile.

“Hmm. No. Not at all. Just wondering how long I’ll have you to myself,” He replied with a roll of his eyes.

She didn’t quite believe him but didn’t push the subject.

“Were you born and raised in Colombia?” She asked curiously.

“Si,” He answered simply.

“Have you ever been anywhere else? Or is this there a place you’ve traveled to that you really liked or want to go see?” She questioned, resting on her side against her seat.

“Yes. I’ve traveled to several countries and while many of them were beautiful, none were Colombia,” He said in a tone that was surprisingly soft.

“I’m actual kind of sad that I only get to be here for a few months, before traveling elsewhere,” Vixen admitted with a sigh.

She turned her gaze to stare out the windows and watch the rainfall. As she did so, she missed the way Veracruz eyed her up and down curiously.

He cleared his throat, trying to shake away the thoughts that had creeped into his mind.

“It appears we may be stuck here for a while. We may as well go get a hotel and some food,” Veracruz noted, starting the jeep.

They drove down a block or so and stopped at a small motel. Veracruz jumped out to go get a room for the night. He came back with a key that had the number 8 on it, and he moved the jeep closer to said room. The two of them unloaded what few things were in the jeep, into the room for safekeeping.

The room was small and dimly lit, and there was only one bed. A bed that honestly looked like it had seen better days. There was a small table and 2 chairs, and one couch. They set their stuff near the couch and turned on the main light that was obnoxiously bright.

With the extra light, they could see that the room appeared clean, but Veracruz was not taking chances with the bed. Veracruz pulled out some spare sheets from the linen closet and threw them over the entire bed to cover it. He then unrolled a blanket they brought inside and threw it on top of that, finishing it off with a sleeping bag unrolled and acting as a pillow.

Vixen stared at him with mild amusement as she watched this entire process. He looked up at her and just muttered, “Trust me, you don’t want to be under these covers, or touching them.”

She mouthed an okay with a silent snicker.

He grabbed the keys, telling her, “I’m going to get food, don’t open this door unless it’s me, got it?”

Vixen nodded her head, locking the door behind him.

She grabbed the stack of photos she had printed and began trying to decipher what the runes, and inscriptions were describing. From her understanding, it was a center of worship for a deity. A deity that appeared to be either a sun god or one for agriculture. She noticed sun motifs and depictions of farming/fruit. She would have to have Professor Jones look it over to be sure.

She was so focused on her work, she didn’t notice the time pass by, and jumped when she heard a knock at the door.

She got up and looked through the peephole to check who was there. She spotted Veracruz standing there and opened the door for him.

“Next time ask me to identify myself. Don’t look out a peephole. That’s how you get killed,” Veracruz tells her gruffly as he moved past her with a bag of food.

“Okay...” She said slowly following him over to the dingy table, hungry.

“It’s just a couple of empanadas, most places have closed because of the rain. I radioed my men to let them know we would be in by morning,” Veracruz informed her handing her a few wrapped in aluminum.

She took them, and some napkins, and went back to her spot on the bed. She set them down to cool for a moment while she looked over some more photos. She at some point very slowly, unwrapped them with one hand, and took small bites, trying not to make a mess.

By the time she had finished one, Veracruz had devoured both of his and was quietly observing her from afar. He found it strangely attractive watching her work. Her face would crinkle as she tried to identify a symbol, before marking it down in her small notebook between bites.

By the time she finished eating, night had fallen, and the rain was coming down harder. There was no heater in the room, so the chill was intense. She found herself a stopping point in her photos, to clean up her mess. She took off her shoes, and her pants, before undoing her bra from under her shirt. She set her clothes on one of the bags, not trusting to leave it on the furniture.

Veracruz was already in just his boxers, relaxing on the bed, watching her with a smirk.

“Don’t get too excited. We are just sleeping,” She said rolling her eyes, as she slipped under the blanket.

“Why... whatever do you mean, Vixen?” He mockingly asked, his smirk growing.

He reached over and turned off the light, and they awkwardly laid there for a moment. She shivered and tried to huddle further into the blanket to fight off the slight chill. She hears Veracruz sigh and move around.

He was suddenly close to her, pulling her into his arms.

“Neither of us are going to sleep if you keep shivering,” He lightly complained.

She blinked in the darkness of the room, biting her lip to stop the smile on her face. She simply made herself comfortable and settled into his arms, feeling warmer within seconds.

She fell asleep in minutes. Veracruz took a bit longer to fall asleep, for he was mentally berating himself for suggesting this. He was being ridiculous. He could feel himself starting to care for her. He knew that he should reassign someone to guard her, but he couldn’t do that. The thought of anyone else getting close to her made his jaw tense, and fists clench.

She was his.

With that thought, he fell asleep.

The next morning, Vixen woke up comfortably warm and vaguely aware that her pillow was moving. She opened her eyes and sees that she’s lying on Veracruz’s chest. He was still asleep. She took a moment to quietly admire him. He was painfully handsome and seeing him relaxed made it even more apparent.

She languidly sat up, taking a moment to stretch her arms and back. Her movements woke Veracruz, who quietly admired her. He ran his hand up her back, a shiver going through her at the tickling situation. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.

“Good morning,” She greeted with a small smile.

“Indeed… but I feel like it could be better,” He teased reaching up to pull her back down.

He rolls slightly onto his side, running his hand up and down her sides. She raised an eyebrow at him, noticing his hand move lower and lower.

“We have to get back to the others. We don’t have time for this,” She whispered.

“Hm. We have time for me to do just one thing…” He smirked, his hand slipping into her underwear.

She went to protest, but the only sound that came out was a moan as he dipped a finger into her, his thumb brushing over her clit.

She bit her lip, cleared her throat. Tried to regain some sense of composure.

“V. We… we have to be back on the… r-road. Soon,” She tried to speak, but struggled as he played her like a fiddle.

His response was simply to pepper her neck in kisses and bites and move his fingers faster. It didn’t take him long, but soon her vision went white, as her back arched up.

She took a couple of deep breaths as she came down from her high. Veracruz slowly withdrew his hand from her underwear. He got up and went to the bathroom for a few minutes.

She gets up, once her body had calmed down and grabbed her clothes, tossing them on before going into the bathroom once Veracruz stepped out. She cleaned herself up, and they moved their stuff into the jeep. They were back on the road in minutes. Vixen spotted a local vendor selling arepas and she had Veracruz stop. She ordered a dozen or so for the team as a treat.

She knew that they might be a smidge cold by the time they got back to camp but she knew they would appreciate the food. She ate hers while they drove up. Veracruz shook his head at her as she very messily ate it.

He chuckled as some of the filling dropped onto her chest.

“Shut up,” She mumbled her mouth full, as she scooped the food up and stuffed it into her mouth.

It didn’t take long for them to return to the camp. As he parked, she looked over at him.

“I uh. Never got repay you for this morning,” She mentioned looking him over.

“Don’t need to. I enjoyed watching you come undone with just my hand,” He told her looking over at her.

She smiled secretively and reached over to run her hand over the growing bulge in his pants.

She gently undid his pants, slipping her hand in to run it over his length before pulling it out. As she ran her hand over it, she repositioned herself in her seat. She slowly lowered her mouth to the tip, her tongue lightly lavishing it.

She could hear him groan as she began to take him into her mouth.

She pulled back to mockingly admonished him, “Now, now princess. Mind your volume. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear you?”

Veracruz opened his mouth to say something back but before he could, she took him back into her mouth. She took as much of him into her mouth as she could handle; her hands taking care of the rest of him. She bobbed her head up and down, at a set pace. She loved hearing the noises that were coming from him.

She continued until he came, swallowing as much as she could. Some lightly spilled out, and she wiped it from her face as she sat back up. He cleared his throat and tucked himself back in. He turned to her, reaching into the center console pulling out some wet wipes for her.

She ripped one open and used it to clean herself up. Once that was done, Veracruz pulled her into a kiss.

He bit her lip as he pulled away, muttering to her, “Don’t ever call me princess again. Or I’ll put you over my knee.”

“Promises, promises,” She teased him, getting her stuff and stepping out.

When they got back up to the camp, she pulled out the food and photos for her team. They all began to eat and check over her work and give their opinions. As they talked, Professor Jones asked to speak to Veracruz for a moment.

“Comandante. I just wanted to state I appreciate the work you and your men are doing for us,” Indiana began.

“But…” Veracruz provided sensing it.

“But I would appreciate it if you kept your eyes and hands to yourself. Vixen is one of my best students, I will not tolerate anyone using her to their advantage. She may a grown adult, and she can make her own choices. But I will not tolerate you using her,” Indiana informed him.

“What happens between the 2 of us is none of your business, professor. As you said, she’s an adult. It’s all consensual, if that’s what you’re worried about?” Veracruz replied back, trying to control his anger.

“No. What I’m worried is in about 3 months’ time, we will be leaving here. Moving onto the next dig site, not in Colombia. Knowing her, she will be conflicted in leaving here, you. She will continue on with us, but I know she’ll think about the what ifs. Do not get her hopes up where there is none to be had,” Indiana warned him before walking away.

Veracruz glared at his back as he rejoined Vixen and the other students. He went to check on things with his men, to distract himself.

Vixen caught the professor up on what she had discovered. Once they were caught up, they began to discuss their next steps involving the site. There were still several hallways left to discover and go through. They decided they were going to split them up between the 4 of them and work through each path.

Later that day, it was just Vixen and Reina talking strategy on how to get better pictures on some of the inscriptions they found.

Reina stopped midway through a sentence and said, “I’m sorry. But. I’m slightly bored. Do you mind if we gossip for a few minutes?”

“Always,” Vixen said taking a seat in one of the camping chairs.

Reina joined her, sitting next to her.

“So… what’s the deal with you and the Comandante?” She asked trying to hide her smile.

“Whatever do you mean?” Vixen replied looking away.

“Uh huh. Lies. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Like you’re a 5-course meal, and he’s starving,” Reina whispered to her.

Vixen choked out a laugh. When she controlled herself, she tells Reina about what happened their first night there.

“Damn girl. You move fast. Explains why, he wanted to be your personal bodyguard. Wanted to be as close to you as possible,” Reina joked with a laugh.

“What about you and Tadeo? I’ve seen you do your hair twirl thing when you talk to him?” Vixen asked, redirecting the attention.

“I don’t know. He’s very handsome, but I don’t know if he’s interested in girls? He hasn’t reacted much to my flirting… like at all,” Reina tells her, her tone sad.

“Or he could be oblivious to when a girl is flirting with him?” Vixen offered trying to be comforting.

“But also, there’s like 15 other men you can shoot your shot with. If it doesn’t work with him, I am sure there is someone else who will gladly… stare at you like “you’re a 5-course meal,” as you say,” Vixen mentioned, waving her hand to the group of men that was standing 30 ft from them.

Reina chuckled at her.

They spent a few more minutes talking about girly stuff, not noticing Professor Jones and Ezekiel were walking up to them.

“Hm. Makeup and boys. Doesn’t sound quite educational does it, Ezekiel?” Professor Jones ribbed as they joined them.

“It can be educational. So, are we going to start our work tomorrow?” Reina asked, straightening up in her chair.

“Yes. Four hallways. Four paths. Slow and steady. All of you. I don’t want any more injuries,” Professor Jones firmly stated.

They all nodded their heads. They spent the rest of the evening planning out their safety strategies and what equipment to take with them.

It was a somewhat tedious process, but it was necessary for them to complete so everyone was on the same page.

None of them knew just how valuable these procedures were going to be come morning.

#indiana jones crossover #comandante veracruz #veracruz x reader

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fandumbstuff · 5 years ago

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The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ranked Best to Worst.

Why watch a movie when you can experience it? And that’s what the MCU demands you do. These films are less about settling in to watch a movie. It’s about getting together your family, your friends and making an entire event of them. Marvel Studios has forever changed cinema going, and boy am I eager to get back to them. So with that, let me break down the franchise and my take on the best and worst it has to offer.

1. Iron Man 3 Directed by Shane Black

Iron Man 3 still holds up as one of the MCU’s strongest screenplays. It’s their first (and one of their only) real character study of a superhero, and the psychology behind being one. Tony Stark suffers from PTSD and struggles to understand his relationship with Iron Man. He is forced to contend with human issues and find what it is that truly makes him a hero. It’s also a movie chock full of incredible action set pieces- the Air Force One scene still holding up as one of my favourites- and wickedly funny dialogue. It continues to be my most satisfying re-watch out of the MCU.

2. Black Panther Directed by Ryan Coogler

Marvel’s best villain, best score, best production design, and best picture candidate. It’s the movie that forced Hollywood to take them seriously. Ryan Coogler showed the world that he can perform even within a studio system that had largely been criticised for being too overbearing. The world may have always known that Black Panther existed, but Coogler showed us why he matters so much. The story is the MCU’s most inspiring yet. Killmonger forces not just T'Challa, but every audience member to consider his motivations seriously. It shows humanity that heroism doesn’t come from superficial acts, but from overcoming our own flaws and learning hard lessons from our history.

3. Thor: Ragnarok Directed by Taika Waititi

In letting Taika Waititi have free reign over Ragnarok, Marvel is given their most unique film yet. The movie feels very much like Waititi’s own vision, chock full of his signature wit and charm. And its within this vision that we finally see Chris Hemsworth come into his own as Thor. Finally at ease, he’s allowed to be funny, and absurd, and play the emotional scenes without any melodrama. Waititi really makes the character dynamics in this film memorable, introducing us to the Grandmaster and Valkyrie, and fleshing out Banner and Loki. It’s a cast that charms us enough to consider staying with the MCU and seeing where they go.

4. Captain America: The Winter Soldier Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

Chris Evans finally comes into his own as Captain America, as Winter Soldier gives him a captivating character arc to work through. Steve Rogers is placed in a conflict that makes him question his own motivations. The morality that he stands for is in direct opposition to the authority he serves, leaving him to question what it means to be Captain America. We also see him learn from his relationships with the supporting cast- with a franchise best portrayal of Nick Fury and Black Widow and a particularly strong introduction of Falcon. The Russos create something truly remarkable by taking a character that has been criticized for being too traditional and show him learn and change significantly. But in addition to all this they direct what is easily the MCU’s best pure action movie yet, showcasing the franchise’s best car chase (Fury vs Cops) and its best fight scene (THAT knife scene).

5. Avengers: Endgame Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

Stunning, momentous and joyous, Endgame is the theatrical experience that Marvel has spent over 10 years honing to perfection. Just one year after Infinity War, the MCU brings together their iconic, colossal cast for their grandest, most ambitious adventure yet. And while Endgame is chock-full of some stunning action sequences and gleeful references, it carries a genuine heart to it. These heroes struggle with PTSD from the events of Infinity War. We see them at their very lowest, and watch their desperation mount and grow to determination. This epic struggle is what has made superheroes so compelling for so many years. By breaking these characters down, the Russos show us just what makes them great. We’ve witnessed writers, directors and certainly the actors take these characters on journeys that have seemed at times thrilling, at time out of touch, but in Endgame, they’re at their very best. The moments of reprieve in the action where we simply sit with them to listen in on their banter are the best. Building to it’s inevitably emotional ending, Endgame winds up being one of the most wholly cathartic experience I have had with a film.

6. Guardians of the Galaxy Directed by James Gunn

At the time of it’s release, Guardians was the franchise’s best-looking movie yet, and it still holds up. The slick space opera designs set to the now iconic soundtrack made the first Guardians an aesthetic marvel. It’s the substance that comes with this that makes the movie one of the MCU’s best. The ragtag group are misfits who find their purpose by banding together, and while the sequel may have drawn this out to nauseating lengths, the first movie made it succinctly effective. It found the right balance of humour and sentiment, endearing us to a cast of characters that seemed too obscure to be popular- and guaran-damn-teeing that Marvel can do whatever the hell it pleases moving forward.

7. Avengers: Infinity War Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

To handle ten years of storytelling and world building and bring it to such a satisfying crescendo is commendable. The Russo brothers handle each character well- each new introduction is a pleasing moment of familiarity and excitement to the fans that have stuck with this franchise. It’s a perfect match to the comic book format. And ultimately Infinity War is as good as any major comic book event. A chance to see our favourite characters interact with each other with conceivable motivations, and face a threat that is alarmingly critical. Its in this respect that Infinity War outshines its predecessors. For the first time, the Avengers face real emotional consequences if they fail. The Russo’s pull no punches to make this clear and despite a fair amount of signature MCU levity, Infinity War winds up being their darkest film yet.

8. The Avengers Directed by Joss Whedon

There’s no questioning the milestone achievement that The Avengers accomplished. As a superhero ensemble, it never once feels congested or jarring-something that most blockbusters consistently suffer from. Instead the protagonists are given clear goals, and their obstacles make real sense. Their hostility towards each other stems from their innate character flaws that they need to address to face the true antagonist in Loki. It highlights what Marvel does so well- offer us adventures that don’t tie up all their loose ends but rather leave them dangling to set up more ambitious stories.

9. Spiderman: Homecoming Directed by Jon Watts

I’ve long considered Spider-Man an uninteresting superhero, so it is highly commendable that Homecoming manages to change that. We skip the origin story and meet a Peter Parker that is inexperienced and has a lot of growing up to do. He contends with Michael Keaton’s Vulture- a villain that is simultaneously charismatic, intimidating, and relatable. Supported by what is probably the best supporting cast in any MCU film. Martin Starr, Hannibal Burress, Zendaya, Jacob Batalon, Jon Favreau and Marisa Tomei flesh out Spidey’s own universe of Queens- wholly believable and charming.

10. Captain America: Civil War Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

In all respects, this should have been the second Avengers film. The Russo brothers do what Joss Whedon couldn’t. They show these characters change and clarify their motivations based on the 8 years that we’ve been watching them. They introduce new characters like Spider-Man and Black Panther in seamless fashion. They provide exciting action set pieces and compelling moments of drama. The payoff at the end truly shows us how much of a battering these heroes take- emotionally and physically. We see their vulnerability more clearly than any other MCU film, forcing us to address the question that they can’t keep doing this forever.

11. Captain Marvel Directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck

The biggest issue that this movie suffers from is that it seems very episodic to a larger MCU. Its hard to get around this though, with it’s release date being less than 2 months away from Endgame. It feels like there are some key world building details that had to be gotten across. Had this not been the case, perhaps they could have explored Carol’s character a bit more. She does seem interesting, and Brie Larson does an expectedly great job, but it seems like we’re only getting a taste of a much larger character study. From what we see though, it is refreshing to see a female character who simply goes out and kicks ass without ever being sexualised, even in terms of costume design. The highlight of the film though, is undoubtedly Samuel L. Jackson’s incredible portrayal of a young Nick Fury, through the most magical of magic tricks in VFX.

12. Iron Man Directed by Jon Favreau

While I do feel like the movie has lost some of it’s lustre since it’s release, there’s no denying that Jon Favreau achieved something remarkable with Iron Man. Forever considered one of Marvel’s B-characters, Favreau brings Tony Stark into a modern era and instantly relevant setting. This is obviously due in large part to his gamble of casting the debilitated Robert Downey Jr. in the lead. Downey Jr. pays off in spades, revitalising his career and sadly typecasting himself forever with a roguishly charming performance.

13. Doctor Strange Directed Scott Derrickson

Doctor Strange is proof of the amazing world-building prowess the MCU has. They introduce key elements to the universe that seem incredibly important, without ever overwhelming the story. Benedict Cumberbatch puts on his best American accent yet and capably sells Stephen Strange as one of the MCU’s more level-headed heroes. The rich mythos of Doctor Strange fits immediately into the greater MCU framework while telling it’s own compelling narrative culminating in my favourite climax to any MCU film- “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain.”

14. Spider-Man: Far From Home Directed by Jon Watts

The real standout from this film is Jake Gyllenhaal with his pitch-perfect performance as Quentin Beck/Mysterio. He threads that line of MCU humour extremely well, but also manages to come off as wholly and realistically threatening when he needs to. Far From Home had the tough task of following the monumental Endgame, but it fulfills its purpose of truly setting the tone for the future. A lot rests on Peter Parker’s shoulders and Far From Home shows him having to deal with it responsibly, maturing and growing to fill a greater role in the MCU.

15. Ant-Man Directed by Peyton Reed

If you ignore the fact that this movie was almost directed by Edgar Wright and how amazing that could have been, Ant-Man still delivers as a very entertaining movie and one of the franchises strongest origin stories. Scott Lang is instantly the MCU’s most relatable character- not a god, not a spy, just a thief with no powers and no resources (initially). And there is no one who could have played this character better than Paul Rudd. Bringing his signature charm and impeccable comedic timing to the franchise is a breath of fresh air and a brand-new dynamic.

16. Captain America: The First Avenger Directed by Joe Johnston

Ultimately my biggest problem with Captain America has always been his origin story, so I have some natural issues with this film. It is also bogged down with some cliched romantic drama between Steve and Peggy which takes away from its otherwise engrossing plot. Hugo Weaving proves to be an effective Red Skull, showing us a deeply disturbing quest for power. The movie excels in its WW2 setting, laying down real consequences and motives behind Captain America’s heroism. It takes a few movies for Chris Evans to settle into the role, but this is a strong start.

17. Iron Man 2. Directed by Jon Favreau

Iron Man 2 consistently threads the line of poignant storytelling. Ivan Vanko’s vengeful motives, Tony Stark’s descent into alcoholism and the nature of war profiteering. It’s especially unfortunate then that the movie gets bogged down with a persistent need for levity. More than any other film in MCU, the humour in Iron Man 2 seems particularly cumbersome- taking away from what would surely be strong performances from Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell. As a result, we’re left with villains who don’t seem to be a threat at all- mere caricatures for Iron Man to dispatch without ever really pondering their motivations.

18. Ant-Man and the Wasp Directed by Peyton Reed

My initial reaction to this movie was pretty positive, but given time I realise it’s totally forgettable. While it does feature some integral world building to the larger MCU, there’s very little done to explore some of their characters, particularly the Pym/van Dynes. There are still a lot of great aspects, including some clever action set pieces that explore Ant-Man’s powers more. Scott’s relationship with Cassie is expanded on and Paul Rudd and Abby Ryder Fortson do a great job selling this, making it seem truly endearing without ever being corny. Also Randall Park is in it and he might be the greatest actor of his generation.

19. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Directed by James Gunn

More of the same, but not nearly as fresh is what Guardians 2 serves up. It rehashes a lot of its predecessors joke formulas, action montages and even the basic emotional tone. It’s hard for any of this to seem anything other than repetitive and I’m left wanting these characters to go on real adventures rather than wallow in their own angst. Without offering any new developments to these characters and a rather uninteresting plot, the movie is another totally dismissible filler episode in the MCU.

20. Thor Directed by Kenneth Branagh

It’s really baffling that with as big of a name as Kenneth Branagh attached to it, Thor winds up being one of the MCU’s most poorly directed films. Poorly constructed shots framed on a dutch tilt and coloured with a gaudy high contrast palette make this movie a downright eyesore. It’s especially unfortunate because it’s got some great moments of storytelling in it. While the first three quarters of the movie seem tedious, it pays off in the last 30 minutes- exposing a complex family drama that drives most of the film. While Chris Hemsworth took a few films to polish his acting chops, Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins provide strong performances to really sell their characters and make us care.

21. The Incredible Hulk Directed by Louis Leterrier

This movie has easily become the sore thumb in Marvel’s formula. It seems entirely different from the rest of the movies. This is due in large part I believe to make it similar to the original TV series. None of this is a good thing. The movie has a largely meandering plotline, with no sensible character development. Bruce Banner goes back and forth between being tortured by the Hulk and accepting him. In a world populated by poor villains, Tim Roth’s Abomination might be the worst one. At no point do his motivations make sense or seem clear at all.

22. Avengers: Age of Ultron Directed by Joss Whedon

It seems like Joss Whedon decided to make a sequel to The Avengers without taking into consideration the four other movies that came out after it. Ignoring most of the character development and brushing aside key plot points, Whedon instead tries to explore their team dynamic by sewing seeds of hostility and testing them against a new villain. However, as good as James Spader is, Ultron never feels like a real threat. The real antagonist for the Avengers winds up being themselves, constantly bickering over right and wrong- and while this isn’t necessarily bad, Civil War would do a much better job of this just a year later. This makes Age of Ultron a dispensable entry in the MCU, and Whedon’s extremely poor handling of Natasha and Bruce’s relationship make it an arduous rewatch.

23. Thor: The Dark World Directed by Alan Taylor

The Dark World suffers from some bizarre shifts in tone and horribly forced humour. They reduce Jane Foster and Thor’s relationship to a cliched romantic comedy and then use it to add unnecessary comedy to the family dynamic established in the first Thor. Even the performances seem poor here- as if the actors never truly felt comfortable in their role. They posture and exaggerate to sell a script that offers them very little to work with. With a caricature of an evil villain and a generic McGuffin to chase, The Dark World is everything you could criticize the MCU of, rolled into one movie.

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z 210

World Tournament Saga! I’m going to be calling this the 25th Budokai saga, since “World Tournament Saga” could be applied to any of three other arcs in this series. Anyway, we open with the horrific murder of Punch Machine. All it wanted to do is quantify the force of punches, like the machine in Rocky IV, and Vegeta killed it because he’s too full of himself to hold back.

This has two effects. First, everyone has to wait for a replacement machine to be brought in so they can finish qualifying for the tournament. Second, Videl is now suspicious of the Dragon Team group, since all of them had Punch Machine scores higher than Mr. Satan, who’s supposed to be the strongest man on Earth.

Then she finds out Gohan’s one of them, which only raises further questions.

Gohan explains that Goku is his late father, and that’s why he has a halo over his head, which doesn’t explain anything. I don’t understand why Gohan just tells her about this like it’s no big deal. He spends the rest of this arc trying very hard to keep her from finding out about his true power, but he’s totally fine talking about this.

So Videl and Gohan have to wait to pass the prelims, but the others head off to watch the Junior Division tournament. This was apparently introduced at the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai event. This time around, the winner of the junior division gets to have an exhibition match with Mr. Satan. To kick things off, Mr. Satan tries to make this big splashy entrance...

But he trips and hits his head on the stage, and then he has to play it off like he did it intentionally, as a joke.

Then the Announcer reveals a special surprise to open the event, and this blimp flies over the stadium. There’s a giant screen on it, and it’s for showing a new movie about how Mr. Satan’s battle with Cell. Mr. Satan is horrified by this, because he had no idea this was even made, but the crowd wants to see it, so he can’t refuse them.

I’m not sure why Mr. Satan is so upset over this movie. I get the impression that he might be afraid that ZTV, who made the film, might have discovered the truth about what happened at the Cell Games, and he’s worried that this movie might expose him. But it’s also possible that he’s just very protective of his image. Also, I can see how he’d want to put as much distance as possible between himself and the battle with Cell. He’s made good use of it to launch his career as a superstar hero, but he’d prefer it if the public didn’t dwell too much on that event, lest they ask too many questions.

Anyway, this movie fucking rules. It’s basically Toei doing some self parody, complete with the “waves and rocks” opening to start off the show.

The problem with the Cell Games was that there was only one cameraman at the event, and the camera broke early on, and what footage was recorded wasn’t very good, since most of the fighters moved faster than the eye could follow. So ZTV just re-enacted the event with actors wearing goofy masks.

It’s kind of weird that they bothered to include the Z-Fighters in this story at all, but it just goes to show that their presence at the Cell Games left an impression on the public, even if no one knows what they were doing there. Gohan and Bulma were concerned that people would recognize the Saiyans if they transformed, and this movie shows that this is definitely true.

Vegeta and Piccolo aren’t happy about this at all, but I don’t see why, this is awesome.

On the other hand, Goku loves this. He’s a man of good taste.

Awwww, they’re all tuckered out.

Look at Yamcha all curled up over there. This is terrific.

So yeah, Cell cleans house, declares himself the winner, and now he’s just gonna blow up the world. Z stands for the end.

But not yet, you green motherfucker.

Mr. Satan shows up to kick some ass, and this movie goes out of its way to show that Cell has gimmicked his ring with booby traps that don’ work on Mr. Satan at all.

Cell begs for mercy, but Mr. Satan tells him to take his ass to church, because he’s about to catch these hands.

Yeah!

Bam!

What’s awesome about this part is that Cell basically suffers the same fate Mr. Satan did when he fought Cell in real life. He gets smacked into a mountain and falls down. The Funimation Dub of Z was hilarious here, because they made the deliveries really, really bad. My favorite part is when Cell takes this tumble and he goes “Ow! Aaaahhh! I’m losing!”

Naturally the others are amazed by Mr. Satan’s genius fighting skill.

Then Cell explodes, which I guess is the most accurate part of this production.

And a good time was had by all.

The credits have some easter egg references to Toei’s staff. I only recognize Yukio Ebisawa, who was the animation supervisor for this episode, but I’m betting you could find the rest of these names on Google.

All right, let’s move on. The Junior Division tournament is mostly a formality, since only Goten and Trunks have any super powers. Trunks’ first opponent is a kid named Idasa, and Idasa’s mom just happens to sit next to the Dragon Team contingent in the stands.

We see a few of the bouts, but they’re all comedy spots, like this kid who starts crying in the middle of the match, and then he flips out and starts flailing around until he knocks his opponent out of the ring.

And there’s a part where Mr. Satan consoles a little boy who lost his match, which is this big heartwarming moment for the crowd. Mr. Satan’s pretty cynical about it, but you know, he still made that kid feel better, regardless of his motives.

Back in the stands, Idasa’s mom and Bulma take an immediate dislike to each other.

Idasa talks a lot of smack himself, but this all gets settle in the ring, where-- oh, wait, Trunks has already won, because he has super powers. Right.

Okay, I don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about Harry Potter, but this right here is why DBZ rules and Harry Potter sucks. This lady and her idiot son were just fed to Trunks as a quick gag. They set her up to be as obnoxious and unlikable as possible, so that whant Trunks one-shotted her kid, she would be horrified and humiliated. Oh, and Idasa’s a total punk as well, so this is his just desserts too. The point I’m making here is that this is incredibly satisfying, because these two get put in their place, and we all knew it would happen, and it did happen, and we’re moving on to the next cool thing.

If Idasa’s mom were a Harry Potter character, she’d be like the Prime Minister of Magic Land, and Trunks would get arrested for using Awesome Karate Moves without a permit, and he’d get sentenced to ten years in Bullshit Prison to serve as an example to others. Then I’d have to hear about how this is the greatest novel ever written. Shut the front door.

Look at Krillin here, he’s bummed out because this is the dull part of Dragon Ball Z. From Episodes 200 to 219, things are pretty slow, but we’ve seen Gohan and Videl beat up a bunch of crooks and a dinosaur, and there’s been a surprising amount of explosions so far, which is weird since there’s no major villain on the board. Right now, we’re kind of in this holding pattern, and this tournament’s off to a slow start because it’s turned into such a dog and pony show. Krillin’s bored because the Junior’s tournament won’t be any good until Goten and Trunks fight each other... and that’s only one episode away.

And I guess that’s the appeal this part of the series has always held for me. Not much really happens, but it’s cool watching this cartoon just sort of take a breath and chill out after the Cell Saga, and even when it’s taking things easy, there’s still a lot of fun to be had. Hang in there, Krillin. Business will pick up before you know it.

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4626songs · 7 years ago

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Everyone deserves a great love story. This one is mine.

So. Here’s the thing.

Is it even appropriate for a 38-year-old guy to obsess over a major studio teenage rom-com flick? People my age who saw it usually say they wish they had something like that when they were that age – like, 20 years ago? I probably should behave like a proper adult, too: just love the movie and wish I had it back then when I was seventeen.

The problem is that after watching the movie and reading the original book, I feel seventeen once again. In all the right and wrong ways.

The case in point: Love, Simon.

I mean, yes. I’m done keeping my story straight.

When it comes to the emotional intellect – i.e., empathy and ability to recognize others’ as well as my own emotions – I am a certified piece of dumb and voiceless deadwood. I mean, I even officially have it in my DNA. But it also did not help that I grew up with emotionally detached parents and had very few friends during childhood. I’ve been struggling with the lack of emotional intellect all my life.

But when I hit adolescence and started to feel something big, it was the worst. I could not recognize and understand what the fuck was going on. And definitely I could not talk about it with anyone. Not even because I was scared. Simply because I literally did not have the words to describe it.

Eventually, it was music, movies and, ahem, slash fanfics that helped me find those right words that explained me to me. That big thing was me being helplessly and hopelessly in love with my best friend.

Curiously, I did not have any struggles with my sexuality or identity after this revelation. I sort of accepted me being gay as a matter of fact and moved on.

Telling anyone – and especially my best friend – about this was a completely different matter. Obviously, I was scared. As Simon says in the movie, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying. But it was not just this fear. Once again, I did not have the words to tell my story. My go to sources of emotional cognition – music, movies and books – were failing me. You know, there was not a lot of coming-out, coming-of-age films or songs or books quarter of a century ago. Except maybe for Smalltown Boy. The most beautiful song. But do you remember the video? One more reason to be terrified and NOT come out.

So, I was silent. It also did not help that I knew for sure from our conversations that if I told my friend about me being gay and my feelings for him, pretty much everything good in my life would end.

I was correct. After suffering for several long years feeling increasingly cold inside from not being able to speak up and express what I feel, I finally managed to confess to him somehow. And yes, it went almost as bad as I expected. I was told that I was a misguided fool, and that I should never speak up about it again. Never speak up.

See. My first coming out experience was pretty bad. But not something objectively bad. I was not beaten up or bullied or outed, thank god. That was out of question, I knew him too well for that. But still. Somehow I was left even more dead and frozen on the inside than I was before. Not something to look for in the future.

But eventually, things got better. I found new funny and geeky hobbies, through which I met great new friends-for-life. I got three university degrees, including a PhD, and became a scientist. I started a music blog, and eventually freelanced as a music journalist. Finally being able to talk about what music meant for me was a liberation.

On a personal front, things were also moving somewhere somehow. There were other unrequited loves. Deeply engaging epistolary relationships with anonymous penpals. (Hi, Blue!) Casual sex. Proper offline boyfriends, and even serious long-term relationships. Some drama along the way, of course. But, until recently, no great love stories coming along with that. Somehow, deep inside, I ached for a great love story to happen in my life.

And then there were those other coming outs. Nothing objectively bad. Always insanely awkward. When I told my mother, she said that I had an irrevocable right to ruin my life and do whatever I want, and we hadn’t talked about me being gay for the next twelve years. A roommate did not believe I was gay at first, and then, when I insisted that I was not joking, he cussed and stopped talking to me for two weeks. A girl who had a crush on me laughed with relief that there’s something wrong with me and not her as I didn’t return her feelings. But there were other friends, who accepted me unconditionally, sometimes even without fully understanding what I was talking about and what it meant for me. I am so grateful to them. But in the end, it was not enough for me to shake that feeling of permanent awkwardness and fear of being me. I chose to remain in the closet for the rest of the world.

But you know what’s (not really) funny? That the same happened with all other important things in my life. It’s like I was permanently living in a giant ball of awkwardness. I had to keep mostly silent about my geeky hobbies at my wonderful science job, even though these hobbies were the main source of my creativity and inspiration. In turn, my wonderful geek friends could not care less about my music tastes. My music friends kind of respected me as a science guy, but I could never talk with them about actual science. And beneath all of that was this big-ass gay secret. It’s like I was living at least four parallel lives, but never a complete one.

I guess once you decide to remain in the closet about one thing, you cannot fully be yourself about other stuff. I became so used to self-editing. Self-censorship. Strategic omissions. And, worst of all, being mute about most important things with most important people.

There are all those reasons why you should continue doing so. It’s dangerous to come out in my home country. It could harm me. It could cause collateral damage to my colleagues, students, professional networks, projects I worked on. It could hurt my family.

But the truth is, people can get no less hurt when you choose to be mute. I know I hurt people by not speaking up about something important to them and choosing silence instead. But there is even a bigger danger. Once you start to pile up silences, little white lies, and strategic omissions, they may grow up to the size of a mountain, and one day simply crumble under their own weight. There will be a lot of pain and harm involved. And I wonder: what if there was no mountain from the very beginning?

Still, the worst is what you are doing to yourself. When you cannot make yourself talk about things that are important to you, you either become a pressure cooker and explode one day – or they slowly die within you, freezing you in the process. And these may be too precious things to lose.

I have thought that eventually, I became better at talking. I have a group of wonderful friends with whom, I thought, I could be more or less myself in every sense, including gay stuff. But somehow, even after all these years, I still cannot do it all, even with them. I cannot even reply to a Facebook challenge about 10 favorite albums, because, like, at least 3 of them would be too gay. I cannot make myself talk about my favorite movies that made an impact on me, because, again: gay. I mumble something unintelligible about my career goals in science, because, in truth, what I mostly care about is how to solve not a grand scientific challenge, but a classic academic “two-body problem” further complicated by a gay twist.

Then one day I saw Love, Simon. That same night, I immediately bought Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda, devoured it in two sleepless nights, and re-read it twice since then. I went to see the movie, like, another seven times. And have listened to the wonderful soundtrack and the score, like, a hundred times already, and don’t plan on stopping any time soon. I simply cannot get enough of this movie and of the Simonverse. And all the time I’ve been trying to sort out why did it hit me so hard and sweet? Why have I suddenly turned into an obsessed teenage fanboy?

Then I realized, I am just so fucking sick and tired of not speaking. I simply cannot stand it anymore. I need to speak. I have to speak. I must speak. Somehow, Simon and his story made it so obvious. Why I was so stupid not realizing it before?

But there’s another twist to that. Everyone deserves a great love story.

I’ve never seen a movie in my life to which I could relate so strongly. Yes, I was that “just like you” kid back then. Living a normal life without any really big problems. Obsessed with music and friendships. Awkward and unable to speak about important things. Alone.

(Oh god. Do you even realize how lonely Simon should have felt if his favorite song is Waltz #2??)

Unfortunately, my great first love story never happened. Instead, I shut myself up for decades to come. But somehow, Love, Simon movie and incredible writing by Becky Albertalli put me right there, back into my seventeen year old me, and finally showed how that first love story could have happened differently, retroactively replacing those long-buried feelings of sadness and despair with joy about the things to come.

And, boy, they did come. Who knew that you can finally get your own very personal great love story when you are at 34, almost ready to give up on happiness? It was wild, it was unpredictable, it was fateful, it was insane, it was unbearably romantic. It was – and, four years later, still is – love.

This story also physically moved me across oceans and continents to, out of all places, the city of Atlanta, Georgia. So, imagine this extra little level of relatability in Love, Simon / Simon vs. (That damn Radiohead, April 2 concert that I did not get to! That gay bar scene!) And now I’m dying to tell my story. Because that’s the most important and amazing thing that happened in my life. Because it is about hope. Because it is about breaking through. Because it is about believing that you deserve everything you want. Because love is a game we deserve to play out loud.

The problem is that I still haven’t quite figured out how to tell my story. Old habits die hard. But I will try. As I said, I cannot stay silent anymore. I need to come out. And I’ll start here.

#love simon #simon vs #svthsa #coming out #coming of age #lgbt

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popwasabi · 7 years ago

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My Top 10 Favorite Giant Monster Movies

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that I love so much about the giant monster movie genre.

Perhaps it was my early fascination with dinosaurs and big animals at the zoo, or simply the idea of smashing model buildings and miniature cities growing up but giant monster flicks have stood the test of time for me more so than most of my childhood fascinations.

It’s a genre that can be both deeply thematic and even at the same time joyfully cheesy in the best way. It’s like watching your action figures come to life on the big screen and your imagination taking a larger than life form.

(And of course can be really entertaining on a “So bad it’s good” level too.)

So it has truly pleased me as a longtime fan of this crazy genre that giant monster flicks appear to be making a comeback these past five years with beautifully rendered and fully realized Hollywood re-imagining’s and with the new “Pacific Rim” film set to come out today I felt it would be great to share with you some of my all-time favorite monster flicks and why you should all make time to watch them.

I haven’t seen every kaiju-sized monster film blockbuster (you won’t find any of the “Cloverfield” films on here) but I have watched most all of the major ones that have appeared. So without further ado here are my top 10 favorite giant monster movies of all-time.

10. Godzilla against Mechagodzilla

There have been five total movies and three different costumes involving this particular nemesis of Godzilla but 2002’s “Godzilla against Mechagodzilla” is the best one of them all.

First of all, it’s the only version of Mechagodzilla that actually looks like the actual G-man himself (set to make an appearance in this month’s “Ready Player One” btw) and secondly there’s a fairly decent story going on in the middle of all of it.

It’s basically your typical soldier’s redemption arc but with a kaiju-sized plot point. Yumiko Shaku plays an ex pilot who’s run in with Godzilla during a mission costs the lives of her fellow service men some years ago and now she’s been recruited to pilot a great new weapon built on the bones of the original 1954 Godzilla (Godzilla timelines and realities are more all over the place than the X-Men franchise btw). Its dark at times but the cast plays well off each other and when the monster suit action goes down it’s a real blast to watch Godzilla and his mechanical doppelganger throw down.

Best Moment:

When Mechagodzilla arrives in the final act to beat up on Godzilla he hilariously flies down from the sky and bumps him out of the way from fire-balling a children’s hospital in this hilariously dated visual shot. I can’t tell you how many times me and my friend rewound this scene to watch and laugh at it again and again as middle-schoolers back in the day.

9. Kong: Skull Island

The first of the new era of kaiju films on this list, this movie gets more and more fun each time I watch it. It has very little resemblance to any of the previous American King Kong films and frankly is more in line with Toho’s recreation of the character in the 60s and 70s in the best way.

After the so-so reimagining of “Godzilla” in 2014 I wondered if Hollywood would understand why there were mixed reactions to that film. Giant monster films really only work on two ends of a very extreme spectrum. You can only do them super dark and serious with heavy handed metaphors and minimal approaches to revealing the monster OR you show the monster all the time in the most ridiculous, action-packed, over-the-top, cheesy fashion. “Godzilla 2014” tried to have it both ways, trying some metaphorical shit about Godzilla (that really never applied to him) while also having a Showa era style monster throwdown.

“Kong” doesn’t make this mistake, instead opting for the latter in one ridiculous monster fight sequence after another. The big ape goes full pro-wrestler in this film and layeths the smacketh down on these Skull Island monster’s candy ass’s and it’s a total blast.

(BAW GAWD!)

It also helps that unlike “Godzilla 2014,” while characters are fairly one-dimensional in this too, they are at least fun to watch and the script seems self-aware that they are in a big cheesy monster film between the bantering of the soldiers and John C. Reilly’s delightful WWII Dr. Bruhl routine.

“Kong” was one of the films that was quietly one of the best, in my opinion, in 2017 and I’m looking forward to the next Giant Monster shared universe film because of it.

Best Moment:

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When Kong starts flinging old boat propeller chains at the big Skull Crawler in the final act like fucking Kratos from “God of War.” It’s again such an awesomely, ridiculous sequence that harkens back to the cheesy films it pays homage to in the best way. Not to mention tearing the monster’s throat out was gnarly as hell too.

8. Gamera: Attack of Legion

Godzilla is obviously the most popular kaiju to emerge from the Pacific Ocean to attack Japan but not enough fans worldwide pay tribute to the big flying, fire-breathing, turtle that often protects it, from Toho’s rival studio Daiei.

Gamera is probably my second favorite all-time kaiju and his films in the 90s were arguably better and definitely darker than the Godzilla films that came out during the Hesei era. The giant turtle had some truly violent confrontations, for kids movies, during this time and “Attack of Legion” almost gave me nightmares as a child.

If you like “Starship Troopers” or “Aliens” this is a good one to watch as Gamera takes on a hive of space-faring, plant-based(?) insects and the smalls ones rip apart the humans in often grisly fashion in this film.

The costumed fight sequences are a lot of fun to watch and Legion herself(?) is a really well designed monster that plays a worthy adversary for the Guardian of Earth.

Best Moment:

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When Gamera unleashes his big new weapon when his chest opens up and puts out a giant chest fireball powered from ancient energies from a far (I know right?). It kind of reminds me of Guyver’s own chest busting weapon in his manga series (ask your weeaboo friends) and it leaves behind an anime sized crater where Legion once stood. Few of the Godzilla films have a sequence as jaw-dropping as this one and even if it was a big cheesy monster flick it’s still quite a cinematic moment when it goes down.

7. Gamera: Revenge of Iris

This one by far is probably the darkest of the Heisei era monster flicks.

There’s a small element of Cronenberg level horror in this film and some more grissly death scenes the Gamera franchise is known for in the 90s. At its core though it has a pretty decent thematic story about revenge and how it consumes us all, leading to in this case literal big consequences as a Japanese school girl name Ayana, who’s family was crushed accidentally by Gamera in the first film of this series (“Guardian of the Universe”) vows revenge by calling on an ancient evil beast to kill the big turtle.

The cinematography, even for a costumed monster flick is really solid in this film and even today has aged fairly well. The dark hues of Japan during a stormy night, the updated more vicious look of Gamera and the new enemy Iris all look the part in this big revenge-filled throwdown.

It’s the type of spectacle that makes these Gamera films stand apart from the rest of the costume monster genre as being one of the few that manages to be cheesy with giant rubber suit but also dark and thematic at the same time.

It’s still such a damn shame though we never got to see this giant turtle lock horns with the King of Monsters though =/.

Best Moment:

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When Gamera his own hand off, which was pinned to the Kyoto Bullet Train station by Iris’s claw, to save himself and Ayana, and goes full G Gundam shining finger on its ass. Yeah, it’s a pretty insane sequence but it’s so fucking cool when it happens!

6. King Kong (1933)

If this was a list based purely on level of importance to the genre the original “King Kong” is easily number one on here. But we’re rating this purely on my own personal aesthetic taste because if we rated films only on their importance to filmmaking everyone would have “Birth of a Nation” and “The Jazz Singer” on their top 10 lists and I’m preeeety sure no one wants that (seriously look it up).

Anyways, “King Kong” despite being made almost 100 years ago now is the most important film in this genre by a mile and has a pretty awesome amount of giant monster action that holds up on the fun scale even after all this time. The stop motion animation used in this film was revolutionary for its time and still visually entertaining to watch between the man eating brontosaurs (yeah, I know) and Kong beating the shit out of other large beasts on the island all while just wanting to spend some quiet time with his special lady friend.

It’s one of the first major blockbusters too in Hollywood history, hugely influential on a host of a big-time directors and virtually all giant monster fans will tell you their first love was this movie.

I guess it’s only because I’m such a Godzilla/Tokusatsu fanboy “King Kong” isn’t higher on this list but regardless, this big great ape will always have a spot in my kaiju-shaped heart.

Hail to the King, baby.

Best Moment:

After all this time it’s still Kong breaking the jaw of the tyrannosaur while saving Ann from being eaten. It’s a scene that has been recreated in other monster films multiple times but the original is still a classic moment.

5. Godzilla: GMK

Short for “Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah” (which is funny because it completely leaves out Baragon from this title who is also in it), “GMK” is far and away the best of the Millennium era of the giant monster films and unsurprisingly the man behind the greatness of this kaiju flick also made the three bad ass Gamera films of the 90s: Shusuke Kaneko.

Kaneko, much like his Gamera films, mixes in the cheese of your typical rubber suit monster film with the darker tone his films of the past take on.

Generally speaking the closer the story of a Godzilla film relates to the original 1954 movie the stronger the story is and this one builds on the themes of the atomic bomb while also addressing a topic relevant to Japanese politics.

This has been ongoing for a while in Japanese society but for those who don’t already know Japan has no army. It has a defense force that is in many ways under the jurisdiction of the United States and the rest of the world. Japan pretty much lost its sovereignty to defend itself after WWII and this has not sat well with much of the country. Another film, that you’ll see soon on this list, also addresses this topic but the position Kaneko takes is that Japan has forgotten the horrible the sins it committed in the wake of WWII and must understand why it has lost its right to have an active military.

Godzilla works best when he’s a big walking metaphor for something terrible and in this way Godzilla assumes the visage of a vengeful God coming to punish Japan for those sins it committed during the war. In this film Godzilla is the accumulation of dead souls from the pacific campaign and Imperial occupation of Asia and it’s an appropriate way of reminding the Japanese audience of this film “Don’t you ever fucking forget what you did.”

Now, there’s a strong debate to be had about giving Japan back its military. Afterall, if the US can invade other countries and commit war crimes why the hell should we be able to tell Japan (an ally) they can’t either? BUT it’s still important that Japan understands why such a declaration was made in the first place and certainly promoting revisionist history of their time occupying Asia is NOT a good look and this film expresses that loudly.

Best Moment:

A little Easter egg moment is honestly my favorite among all the giant monster action and heavy metaphors of the story. Basically the cast of characters are discussing other strange monster sized occurrences across the world and one of them remarks there was an attack in New York in 1998 and how the Americans think it was Godzilla. Then one of the characters more or less says “Nah that can’t be true” and it’s pretty amusing of course if you know what that’s referencing.

4. Godzilla vs Destoryah

Other fanboys in the 90s had “The Death Superman” that rocked their childhoods and put them into a depressed stupor. Well, for me in my childhood it was “Godzilla vs Destoryah” aka “The one where Godzilla finally dies.”

I remember picking that VHS tape up from my local video rental shack as a kid with both giddy excitement and somber acceptance. First of all the name “Destoryah” as a kid that sounded totally bad ass and I couldn’t wait to see my favorite giant reptile throw down with him but knowing this would be his last film (for now) made me sad and depressed.

Set a truly beautiful and dark score by the original “Gojira” composer Akira Ifukube the thrills and destruction of Godzilla is fully realized in its rubber costume glory. I don’t think there was a better looking suit than this volcano inspired visage the G-man rocks here.

Destoryah himself is a really neat looking monster too. Part prehistoric crustacean and part demon from the underworld, this beast was real eye candy for me as a kid and paid homage to original film’s big plot device. The Oxygen Destroyer, which is the device that killed “Gojira” in the first film, is what mutates Precambrian era lifeforms into this beast that ultimately does battle with Godzilla and it’s a glorious throwdown.

There’s also a light homage to “Aliens” in this film too when the Japanese equivalent of SWAT gets whacked in a refinery by a bunch of smaller Destroyahs and it’s actually a pretty tension filled sequence.

But it was knowing that the film was the end of an era that made it so great, as the actors behind the characters seem to be self-aware of this being Godzilla’s final curtain call (again, for now). It’s like watching a liftetime achievement award in action almost as the kaiju mayhem is upped to 11 and Godzilla’s ultimate death is both cinematic and mesmerizing to watch all while Ifukube’s score plays softly in the background.

Best Moment:

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As the dust settles from Godzilla’s meltdown, we suddenly see a large silhouette in the smoke where Godzilla Jr’s body once lay, Destoryah had presumably killed him earlier but now a fully grown new Goji stands there triumphantly roaring into the night.

As a kid this made me tear up, not just because I was attached to Jr. and was glad he was ok but because it was like the film was saying to its fans “This isn’t good bye. We’ll be back.”

I had gone into watching this movie as a kid thinking this would be the last Godzilla film I would ever watch and it had made me sad but seeing the new Godzilla emerge from old one’s shadow made me hopeful I would see my favorite childhood, atomic breathing dinosaur once more.

And sure enough I did.

3. Pacific Rim

This movie isn’t so much a film as it is a love letter to the Tokusatsu genre. If you grew up on giant monster flicks and mech anime this was the film that was made for you and the childlike joy Guillermo Del Toro directs this film with is just perfect.

No, the story isn’t particularly deep and neither are the characters as it has a bit of “Top Gun” mixed in with “Neon Genesis Evangelion” but the film is so colorful and fun that who gives a shit?

A giant mech, that looks like a football player, uses an elbow rocket to punch a gorilla shaped giant monster in the face and later uses an oil tanker like a baseball bat to club another one. It’s awesome!

What was truly great about the film though is that it feels like a cheesy monster flick from the 60s but simply with updated graphics. Unlike the failed 1998 “Godzilla” film these monsters don’t move around like fucking T-Rexes. They lumber, they throw fists with exaggerated motions, and heave themselves around without any sense of grace, just like dude’s in rubber suits do. It looks like how I would imagine those old monster flicks would look with better CGI.

And of course Charlie Day and Ron Pearlman are just delightful as Newt and Hannibal Chau as they are in everything they are a part of. The cast in general seems to have blast in this movie and it’s part of what makes the film so perfect.

Best Moment:

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Nearing the end of the battle in China, Raleigh and Mako are out of options as a winged kaiju flies them up into space to drop them down from up high but just as all hope seems lost Mako unlocks the last weapon on Gypsy Danger; A FUCKING SWORD! And just to put icing on the cake before slicing the kaiju in half, Mako delivers the most badass line of film triumphantly declaring in Japanese “For my Family!” I lost my damn mind in theaters when she dropped that line. Who cares if they didn’t use the damn sword earlier; that was fucking awesome!

2. Shin Gojira

“Shin Gojira” is basically what I thought/wanted “Godzilla 2014” to be.

I felt it had been too long since we had a truly evil Godzilla film (GMK being one of the few outliers really in about 60 plus years of Godzilla films). The big guy had been a Face for too long and desperately needed to revert back to being a Heel and “Shin Gojira” takes the big guy back to his grim, dark, metaphorical roots.

Out of all the Godzilla films that have come out this one most closely resembles the tone and themes of the original, though with some differences in the messaging. This film takes the opposite side of “GMK” in that it’s all about the Japanese need for national sovereignty again. It’s openly critical of the US and of the Japanese government’s failure of bureaucracy. If anything, it’s almost a conservative film railing against the dangers of big government.

More than half the film is really just board room meetings within the Japanese government where that failure of politics really becomes heavy and sometimes even feels a bit like “Dr. Strangelove” with the dry, dark humor as the politicians fail again and again to address the problem.

I don’t believe either “Shin Gojira” or “GMK” make stronger points on Japanese politics but rather they both make good ones and this film illustrates well that Japan is in many ways defenseless toward attack without the rest of the world getting involved. In this way Godzilla becomes a big walking metaphor for any number of threats that could attack Japan, from North Korea to Russia and hell even an allegory for the US’s own meddling in this regard.

There’s a real sense of dread with each step Godzilla takes in this film, leaving a large path of destruction in his way. He plods slowly but you get the sense that despite this there is truly nothing Japan can or is even prepared to do and it adds to the somber reality of the story’s theme. There’s pretty obvious callbacks to the Fukushima disaster too as we see tidal waves wash over the cities and nuclear waste left behind by Godzilla and it adds to the film’s relevant messaging.

A lot of fans have mixed opinions on Godzilla’s, let’s say, crusty appearance but personally I liked it. There’s a nice horror element to this design as this particular Godzilla is made out millions of mutated creatures in the ocean coming together and his cold, dead, listless eyes are pure nightmare fuel. It’s in my opinion one of the best looks the big reptile has ever had and it especially works well to again add to this image of Godzilla as less a creature and more a demonic God coming to punish the non-believers.

Best Moment:

When Godzilla unhinges his mandibles (Holy shit! What the fuck!?) and unloads a giant anime sized atomic blast upon Tokyo in honestly my favorite giant monster sequence of all-time.

Unlike “Godzilla 2014’s” big atomic blast sequence which plays more like cheap fan service, there’s a clear build-up to this moment in the film. Things had been steadily getting worse with each scene in this movie up until this point for the Japanese and the main characters are all on the ropes at this point as they just try to escape Godzilla’s wrath, giving in to defeat as they run for safety. Then Godzilla’s fins begin lighting up and it’s like “Oh shit what now?” for these characters and the entire sequence plays like the gates of the Rapture opening up. It’s terrifying and if you didn’t get to see this cinematic scene on the big screen while it was in select theaters, you truly missed out.

1. Gojira

You didn’t actually think this list wouldn’t end with this at number one, right?

Yup, the original 1954 classic is my all-time favorite monster movie and while the genre is largely just fun, campy schlocke, “Gojira” even with its dated special affects is not that type of movie.

It’s somber, dark, depressing and was a hugely important film at the time for Japan. Up until this point there wasn’t a whole lot of post war or atomic bomb discussion or expression among the Japanese and it made it hard to cope with what happened. “Gojira” was the first time the people of Japan kind of got to confront what happened and it was both terrifying and cathartic for them.

“Gojira” though is a story that ultimately is about the failure of humanity. The film was created less than a year after an off shore atomic bomb test unintentionally killed Japanese Fishermen in the pacific causing another panic amongst the Japanese populace reminding them of what had happened just a decade before. Godzilla in this film becomes a metaphor for that failure to not learn from the mistake of creating such a terrible weapon. He becomes less a “force of nature” metaphor as King Kong is and more egregiously how the 2014 film made him out to be but rather again a vengeful God coming to punish the human race for their hubris and sins.

The creation of Godzilla in this story, an ancient subterranean dinosaur awakened and mutated by atomic bomb testing, harkens back to the themes of Mary Shelley’s classic “Frankenstein” and how we humans often meddle with forces beyond our understanding to the point of our own undoing. The film makes this point effectively with each step Godzilla takes as he levels Tokyo and the despair and dread of the characters and the citizens of Japan can be heavily felt on screen. It’s a darkly, beautiful film because of it and it’s kind of ironic when you think such a thematic and message driven story could give birth to such a cheesy and over the top genre of movies for decades to come.

Nonetheless “Gojira” stands alone as not just the King of Monsters but the King of all Monster Films.

Best Moment:

In the aftermath of Godzilla’s destruction we cut to the next day where the citizens pick up the fallen pieces of their city and its people. There’s hospitals full of the wounded and dead and shots of children with Geiger counters beeping all over them. This is really where the film really emphasizes the pure terrible destruction the atomic bomb and how we all are doomed to repeat this tragedy if we don’t learn to coexist better. As school children sing a “Prayer For Peace” over these images it’s truly hard not to get misty eyed during this sequence.

Anyways that’s my list, hope you enjoyed reading it! Let me know what your favorite giant monster film is in the comments! Cya at the Miracle Mile tonight when we cancel the Apocalypse again!

War ready, mother fuckers!

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ardatli · 7 years ago

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30 Questions

tagged by @khirsahle

1) Nicknames - Not really. My name is pretty nigh un-nicknameable, and the one short-hand which exists quickly becomes obscene in the hands of high school boys, so no. We get a lot of ‘honey’ and ‘love’ around the house, but they’re sort of generic nicknames for family-member-currently-in-my-line-of-sight.

(truth time - I’ve always associated sweet nicknames with being loved, and my kids have about ten different nicknames apiece. My parents, on the other hand, are not the nicknaming sort.)

2.) Gender - Cis Female

3.) Star sign - Capricorn. I really don’t believe in astrology, but in pretty much every system and zodiac, I end up as an earth sign. There’s probably something being said there.

4.) Height - 5′2″. My newest sister in law is the only adult in the family shorter than I am, and I’m so glad not to be the (only) elbow rest anymore.

5.) Time – 9:24 PM

6.) Birthday - The day before the night before Christmas.

7.) Favourite band – My playlist rotations vary a lot, but based on both music and being Incredibly Amazing People, the Heather Dale Band.

8.) Favourite solo artist – There are lots and my tastes really tend to vary. I’ve had ‘Slow Hands’ on repeat a lot right now, but I definitely wouldn’t say that Niall Horan’s a favourite. Leona Lewis? Heather Dale? I like women’s voices.

9.) Song stuck in my head – See above re: Slow Hands, but it alternates these days with the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme. I have a six year old.

10.) Last movie you watched – Ocean’s 11. The 2001 remake, and how the hell is this movie already old enough to drive? That’s just not right. But we’d been on a Leverage binge and I was in the mood for a caper film, and it was on Netflix. I still haven’t seen Ocean’s 13, but 12 was crap.

11.) Last show you watched – We just finished watching Stranger Things (so much fun), and before that we were catching up on more Netflix queue with Defenders.

12.) When did I create my blog – 2012? I think? I started writing fic again for the first time in over 15 years while hopped up on the good drugs following my tubal ligation surgery that spring. XD

13.) What do I post – Fic, reblogging art, a lot of things related to religion and politics and religious politics (Judaism specifically).

14) Last thing I googled – Checking the attribution on an image of a greek statue.

15.) Do you have other blogs – A pro writing blog that’s sitting idle right now while I sort out what to do with books that have reverted back to me. Which has itself currently taken a back seat to PhD work.

17.) Why did you choose your url – It’s my online ID pretty much everywhere, and is a reference to an old and obscure RPG NPC.

18.) Following – 168

19.) Followers – 1,220

20.) Favourite colours – Greens and blues, though my wardrobe is predominantly black, grey, red and purple.

21.) Average hours of sleep – 5 or 6. I need eight to prevent semi-regular migraines, but I’ve had a lifelong battle with depression-linked insomnia that kicks my ass on a regular basis.

22.) Lucky number – none. 7, I suppose, since it’s one of those significant numbers, and I may as well add 18 for chai.

23.) Instruments I played – Voice, trombone, guitar. Very brief flirtation with violin that did not end well for anyone.

24.) What am I wearing – Work clothes - grey dress pants, a red camisole and a scoop-neck grey sweater with elbow-length sleeves. One solid red sock and one striped red sock, both fuzzy. Wedding rings, 15 earrings - mostly garnet, opal and zircon studs - and my grandmother’s opal pendant on a long gold chain.

25.) How many blankets I sleep with – Two or three depending on the weather, usually including a quilt that I’ve made and an afghan of some sort. The room must be cold, the pillows and blankets plentiful. I have a minor pillow obsession, and there are usually about seven or eight in varying sizes on our bed at any given time. I want to sink into a soft fuzzy bedding pool and never re-emerge.

26.) Dream job – I’m en route, I hope. Ideally I’d be doing exactly what I am doing, but finished the PhD and tenured. (HAH.)

27.) Dream trip – My better half and I have often talked about doing a old-school medieval-style pilgrimage - seeing which of the medieval shrines still exist, walking the road to Santiago, doing all of the major churches. The Hagia Sophia is on my bucket list.

This is a lot funnier when you realize we’re Jewish (me) and Presbyterian. But the architecture and the archaeology and the history of it all would just be so thrilling. Also an excuse to hang out in Spain and Italy and eat all the things.

28.) Favourite food – Pasta. There was (is?) a restaurant in Montreal that we used to go to all the time that did hand-made pastas and the most sumptuous sauces, cream and cheese in everything. Ugh, I die. I could live forever on any and every variation of noodle things.

29.) Nationality – Canadian. Culturally Ashkenazi, and I’m told my Yid comes out in my cadence when I get annoyed.

30.) Favourite song – Don’t really have one, per se. There are a lot that I like based on specific moods or memories. ‘No Air’ (the Nath Campos cover) is definitely up there, as is Alannah Myles’ ‘Black Velvet.’

tagging @otherpens, @bathshebaeverdenes, @tinyparlancer, @hulklinging, @tinyhipsterboy - no pressure, only if you care to!

#memes

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uomo-accattivante · 8 years ago

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(Photo by Jordan Strauss)

SCREENPLAY REVIEW - “LIFE ITSELF”

Since the released logline for this film is so vague, and the photos from the film shoot last month were so crazy, I decided to dig around to see if I could find out some more about this film’s plot. (I mean - amongst other things - why is Oscar so clean-shaven and also looking like a bearded mountain man in the same film?) I found an interesting review of the screenplay, so if you don’t want to know anything further about this film before it is released, stop reading now. (SPOILERS BELOW)

(After reading everything below, I have the feeling that Julianne Moore was replaced by Annette Bening at the last minute. And now Oscar’s bearded look totally makes sense to me…)

* * *

Excerpted from the website link below:

Screenplay Review - Life Itself

Genre: Drama

Premise: (from The Black List) A multigenerational love story that weaves together a number of characters whose lives intersect over the course of decades from the streets of New York to the Spanish countryside and back.

Writer: Dan Fogelman

Details: 116 pages

I have to admit, the last thing I expected when I opened a Dan Fogelman script was Samuel Jackson screaming at me. Yes, Samuel Jackson is our narrator. At least for now. There’s a lot of “at least for now” in Life Itself. To give you a taste of that, we meet Julianne Moore a few pages later. And Julianne Moore gets slammed into by a bus, her bones and guts sprayed everywhere.

Yes, Life Itself is Dan Fogelman unhinged.

Confused yet? I was. Eventually, after things settle down, we meet Will Dempsey, a sometimes-writer who’s devastated by his pregnant wife, Abby, leaving him. Will was so destroyed, in fact, that he spent six months in a nut house. Now he spends most of his days talking to his therapist, who looks a lot like Julianne Moore.

We jump back in time to see how these two met. You’ve never seen two people more perfect for each other and more in love than these two. Which begs the question – how could Abby possibly leave Will?

To answer that question, we’ll need to get into spoilers, as Life Itself is one giant spoiler-fest. Which makes sense since life itself is a spoiler fest. So don’t read on if you don’t want to know what happens. I’ll be semi-vague in order to protect the script’s twists. But what we learn is that Abby and Will didn’t divorce. A far worse tragedy occurred. And that is why Will has gone off the rails.

Oh, but if you think that’s all you’re getting here, let me remind you that Life Itself is DAN FOGELMAN UNHINGED. After getting over the shock of the earlier tragedy, Fogelman hits us with a DOUBLE TRAGEDY that was so shocking, I spent the next ten pages reading the script through tears. No, I’m not kidding.

Without getting into too much detail, we cut to years later where we follow Will and Abby’s daughter, Dylan (named after Abby’s favorite musician, Bob Dylan), growing up, and explore how the tragedies of her earlier life have turned her into the rebellious and dangerous beauty she is today.

In the meantime, we follow a poor Spanish family who is peripherally attached to Abby and Will. And, at a certain point, we realize that that Spanish families’ story is going to loop back around and re-intersect with that of our original characters. But while we’re praying it intersects the way we hope it will, there are no promises when it comes to Fogelman’s most twisty and turny narrative yet.

I apologize that summary was so vague but there are too many major twists and turns and I don’t want to ruin them ahead of the film. That makes this script difficult to analyze but I’ll do my best.

I want to start with bravery. As a writer, one of your jobs is to evolve. Each script you write, you want to push yourself into new, even uncomfortable, territory. If all you’re doing is rehashing the same old characters and storylines that you always do, you’re never going to write anything great.

I did not recognize this Dan Fogelman at all. I remembered in his previous scripts that he always played things safe and predictably. He did safe and predictable well. But you always knew what you were getting from Fogelman, and that kept his scripts from ever elevating into awesomeness.

Life Itself is a whole other beast. At first, Sam Jackson is breaking the fourth wall, screaming at both us and our hero. Then Julianne Moore gets violently slaughtered by a bus. Then we’re hit with two major fucking traumatic twists within a ten page period. Then, for the second half of the script, we’re meeting this whole other family in Spain…

It’s like, “What the hell??”

Truth be told, this story is better suited for a novel or a television show. Whenever you have multiple characters and you really want to delve into those characters (I mean, beyond the basic likable trait and character flaw), you need time. And you can only get that with the 60,000+ words a novel affords you or the 7+ seasons a TV show does.

When you try to do the same thing with a feature, you always run up against the problem of plot. Features need the plot to keep moving. And that always conflicts with character development. Yes, you can do both. And the best writers do. But only to an extent. I don’t care how talented you are. If you need your characters to destroy the Death Star by the end of the movie, you need to keep your plot moving along. And that takes away those slower character-driven scenes that are such a staple in TV shows.

And yet, Fogelman gets as close to pulling it off as one can. I’m not sure how he does it but I want to say the twists are a big part. He knows that because there’s no plot, if he hits you with 40 scenes in a row of characters saying I love you and I hate you, we’ll be bored to death. So he slams you with these huge shockers that we never saw coming and it’s like this jolt of espresso that powers us through another 15 pages of character development until the next twist arrives.

I do think this approach finally bit him in the ass, though. Because the first act was so strong and so unexpected, the second quieter half, with the Spanish family, couldn’t quite live up to it. And while there will always be parts of a screenplay that play better than others, you should try to make it so that each quarter of your script is better than the previous quarter. That’s because you want your final quarter to bring the house down. And in Life Itself, it’s the first and second quarters that bring the house down.

Still, this is quite an achievement. It’s unlike anything you’ll read all year. It’s complex yet a surprisingly quick read (one of Fogelman’s specialities). I would go so far as to say this is his best script. Could it have been better had he hit a home run in the 3rd Act? Sure. But I’d still recommend this to anyone wanting to learn how to write vibrant memorable characters.

[ ] What the hell did I just read? [ ] wasn’t for me [ ] worth the read [x] impressive [ ] genius

What I learned: As much as I hate flashbacks, there’s no question that they help the reader care about a character more. For example, if I introduced you to John, the hockey player with an attitude, all you see is a hockey player with an attitude. But if, at some point, I flash back to when John was a child and showed that he witnessed his father beat his mother to death, that character is fleshed out ten-fold. He carries so much more weight. That’s what Fogelman does here on multiple occasions and it really helps his characters shine.

#oscar isaac #life itself #spoilers #spoiler #dan fogelman #screenplay #samuel l jackson #olivia wilde #annette bening #script #will dempsey

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missjackil · 8 years ago

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The Not-So-Bitter Sam Girl

Let me first establish that I love Sam Winchester with everything in me. I eat, sleep, drink,and dream Sam Winchester. Often times, like many Sam girls, I feel like he is treated unfairly, and that makes me bitter, but I read a lot of the meta from other Sam girls, but I don’t agree with a lot of what you all are bitter about. Let me also say, that I love Dean too. The brother’s relationship is the only reason I am addicted to this show. I couldn't care less about the monsters and most side characters to be honest, but I definitely favor Sam. I have only been watching the show, via Netflix, for just under a year, but I am a CHRONIC re-watcher. There isn’t an episode or season I havent watched at least 15 times, and some more than 40 times (yes its a sickness) the only episodes I dont watch much are Bitten and Bloodlines. I will try to explain my view on some of the most common things I see bitter Sam girls write about, and hopefully give a new perspective. WARNING: This is indeed long, you may scroll through and read topics of interest, and feel free to send me an ask or a message about anything you would like to debate or discuss further :)

Dean gets more air time! From my point of view, I will agree this is the case, but not throughout the whole series. A prime example is the S4 episode In The Beginning, when Sam is only in the first 45 seconds of the episode. I dont consider this the show favoring Dean, but the knowledge that it was in a time when no one was sure if Jared could continue do to his mental health. He had a breakdown during the filming of Mystery Spot, and things were rocky for a while. I don’t know what was going on during the time of In The Beginning, but it’s quite possible that Jared needed time off. Granted there are no episodes were Dean is only in 45 seconds of, but they probably don’t like do episodes that the boys dont share time, after all, the show is about them both. The Panic Room! Yes, definitely the panic room! It might be the first time I felt my bitter Sam girl come out. How DARE they lock him in a room to detox alone??? It tore my heart out! But on one hand, it was an extremely Sam heavy episode. We got to see inside his head through his hallucinations, which up till then, we’d only see glimpses. It was hard for me to piece together what exactly was going on with Sam in S4 until this episode. It was confusing. On one hand he had been his normal, cute, nerdy, sensitive self, but hiding his baddass, sexy, dark side. Up till then i thought he just didn’t want Dean to be angry with him for what he was doing, but then I realized, he was genuinely addicted to the demon blood, and didn’t want Dean to know because he’d want him (make him) stop, and he also feared Dean would hate him like a monster. He felt like he disappointed everyone he loved, even himself, and coming off felt like torture. (hence the Alistair hallucination) So story wise, we needed for him to be alone this time so WE the viewers would see what all he felt, which he may not have, if Dean sat with him to comfort him. And having dealt with addicted people personally, I know that sometimes, an addict will use their addiction for the sole purpose of having someone sit and suffer with them, which sometimes makes the addiction worse. However, the second time Sam was left to suffer alone in the panic room was 100% uncalled for (S5 My Bloody Valentine) If the writers wanted to show how bad Sam’s problem was affecting Dean, which Im sure it was... he could have prayed that prayer while holding Sam through the detox, and it would have been 1000 times more powerful. So this one, I am bitter as well. Soulless Sam wasn’t that bad!! No, he wasn’t. I actually really enjoyed him! He was definitely hornier than our normal Sam, less inhibited, snarkier, funnier, but still, not quite Sam. Why would Dean be so freaked out? Well, we’ll overlook Sam allowing him to be turned by the vamps, because Dean felt creeped out before then. So consider the fact that dozens of years, Sam and Dean were glued to each others hips for the most part. Especially when John left them alone as children, and since Sam was back from Stanford, and now, he was back from Hell, no one knew how, and not his normal self at all. Dean, being Sam’s soulmate, knew something was wrong, and at first was scared that maybe it was still Lucifer in Sam’s vessel. That to me, sounds like it could be scary. Think just for a moment, if the person you love the most, that you thought was dead, is suddenly back but not anything like they used to be. This would be terrible, especially if you thought there was a good chance they were actually Satan wearing their body. Once Dean knew it was actually Sam, but without a soul, he could have lightened up a bit. Yes, I think so too, BUT Sam was still not anything like what Dean loved about his brother. Sam didnt love him back, didnt even care about him, he was Sam otherwise, but i dont blame Dean for wanting to get Sam’s soul back, especially with the knowledge that he could be fine, so long as he doesn’t regain the memories. And even if he did, there’s a good chance he could fix him. Dean did act irrationally, wont argue, but we know they are both irrationally co dependent on each other, and if the tables were turned, Sam would have done something equally irrational to get Dean back. (As we see in About a Boy when Sam wasnt in favor of Dean being 14 so that the Mark was gone. He’d be willing to take Dean back, Mark included, so long as Dean was the Dean he knew and loved today) The narrative is heavily in Dean’s Favor! No, I dont think so. Occasionally yes, but for the most part no. When bitter Sam girls see Dean scolding or berating Sam for being wrong about something, most of the time Sam isn’t wrong about the thing. We see it, and most people see it, so the narrative makes Dean look like a douche. Yes, there are Dean girls that throw Sam hate all the time, but they’re not the majority. They’re just loud on Tumblr. Honestly, in real life, Dean girls, just like Dean’s looks, or personality better than Sam’s and thats simply taste. Tall, long haired, sweet, intelligent, badass, nerds arent everyone’s favorite flavor (dont know how that’s possible but....) thats fine, but ive yet to come across a real life Sam hater. Theres some on tumblr and occasionally some might give Jared grief at a conference, but again, thats not the majority. And I see bitter Sam girls also throw the same hate Dean’s way too. But anyway, getting off point. Dean has always been “its not what you do but who you are” and Sam has always been “its not who you are but what you do” from early on. And we all know Sam’s view is better. Sam is always willing to talk, and give people/monsters a chance to choose good. Dean has only recently agreed to go that route too, but will still think “monster” first and then bend Sam’s direction. killing Sam’s friend Amy in S7 just because she was a monster, was a huge douche move on Dean’s part and everyone thought so Im sure. It was also the last time Dean killed someone for just that reason. Sam’s view of situations like that have always been to give the monster the benefit of the doubt if they wanted to be good, from the beginning, so that narrative has always been in Sam’s favor. Dean was mad that Sam’s happy memories didn’t include him!! Not true. Dean may have been disappointed that Sam’s happy Thanksgiving memory was at someone elses house, but after that, Sam’s best memories were Deans worst. That’s what upset him. Not that Dean wasnt in them, but they were terrible times for him. When Sam was alone in Flagstaff with his dog, Dean was home worried sick that Sam was dead because he ran off while he was watching him. “And when Dad got home....” Dean probably got his ass beat. When Sam went off to Stanford, Dean says it was one of the worst nights of his life. Zachariah was manipulating their memories so it could appear they were happier without each other. Sam didnt get to see the part when he and Dean shot off the fireworks, only the part of Dean’s life when he was happy with Mom. I am sure that if they got to explore more of their heaven, they would have found plenty of memories that were just those two. The writers feminize Sam and make him the Damsel in Distress!! Lord, I have seen HUGE meta on this and I disagree with so much. The male/female formula when there are two protagonists is a common formula to use. This is true, but it is not the only formula to use and its not always Sam that is feminized. Other formulas are the classic comedic/tragic, the big one/the small one, the smart one/the dumb one, light/dark, good cop/ bad cop and so on. The brother have fallen into all these formulas at different times. Sam has a few feminine qualities, it’s true, he cries sometimes and he’s generally nicer than Dean, he has long hair, compassionate and empathetic, he isnt as “butch” as Dean and is conscious of his diet. Dean also has feminine qualities, he cooks, cleans, and irons their clothes. He is very much a nurturer, not only to Sam but to Kevin, Garth and Charlie as well. Dean is much more physical than Sam is. Dean is usually the one initiating the bro hugs, and its not likely that the “Dean is bisexual” thing, would be a thing, if he initiated as many manhugs as Sam has. He cries more than Sam does, he admitted to have enjoyed wearing women’s underwear, loves chick flicks, and said “All women lie about their age” and Sam said “Wait, you told our waitress you’re 29″ and Dean said “Yes”. Often times Sam and Dean are paralleled with married couples, but not always, sometimes its siblings, sometimes best friends, sometimes Rocky and Bullwinkle LOL... but not always male/female, in fact, in the parallel of John and Mary Winchester, Sam is John and Dean is mom. Sam was named after their grandfather, and Dean after their grandmother.

Also, Sam is NOT a Damsel in Distress! My friend went through S1 thru 11 and counted how many times each saved the other, and Dean only beats Sam by 3 saves. Ahead by 3 out of 240 (some episodes have more than one salvation scene, some have none or they save each other) episodes is well within the margin of error and it means neither one is a damsel in distress. HOWEVER Tumblr makes Sam overly feminine! But that’s a whole other rant. Season 8 was a horror fest of Sam hate! Omg is so was NOT! i felt there was more love from Dean towards Sam than any season before it. This season was an emotional roller coaster between the boys, its by far one of my favorite seasons (5 and 11 are my other faves) but i think all the meta written about being a Carver catastrophe and trying to explain WHY it wasnt OOC for Sam to not look for Dean, made some of you not watch the season, or at least, not all of the season, or watched it after reading the meta and thus missed the whole point. However I will agree, like even Jared did, that Sam not looking for Dean definitely was OOC for Sam, especially only knowing what we knew in the beginning. Sam went right away to the promise the boys made not to look for each other, even though he knew Dean looked for him when he went to Hell. It was very OOC for Sam to at least try to make sure Dean was dead first, he had no idea where he was, there was no blood or body, just black goo. Take into consideration that 1) It has been said that S8 was going a different route, but the producers decided to change it, so it’s likely there was more to that story than we actually got. 2) it was the beginning of the season and neither we, nor Jared knew that Sam would later say “I lost my brother a few months back, and my world imploded and everything rained down on me, and i ran” None of us knew that before hand, and Dean was never even told. All he was really told was that Sam was alone, and didnt know what to do so he fixed up the Impala, and just drove. Took time to enjoy the good things, and get a dog and a girlfriend and a home in Texas. Will I will agree that Dean didnt have the right to berate Sam, but he had every right to be hurt and feel betrayed. Sam later turned the table and berated Dean for having Benny. Again, Sam had the right to feel hurt and betrayed, but had no right to berate him, but since they both griefed each other about how they spent the last year, Ill call them both even. This fight that was nothing less than watching a married couple fighting over each other cheating, but once Sam decides to stay with Dean, and Dean cuts ties with Benny, the boys relationship is beautiful again. I say there was so much love shown even in their fighting because we learned part of the depth in which they love each other. Not unlike a married couple.” Don’t ever let someone be more important than me” And though I know, at the end of S8 when Sam was reminded of his “failure” by Dean, Sam was ready to die, but in the middle when the trails are about to start, Dean recalls what kind of life Sam wanted, and was ready to die so Sam could have it. Watch Trial and Error, I think its a great place to see where the boy’s heads are at, at that point in the season. Dean had no right to trick Sam into letting Gadreel possess him! Absolutely true, he had no right to do that, but Dean knew it too. He knew Sam would never agree to such a thing, and he would rather die. But Dean JUST saved his life back at the church, despite that good that would come of if it Sam finished the trials. This didnt matter to Dean anymore if he didn’t have Sam beside him. It wasn’t like Swan Song... now he KNEW what life without Sam was like and didnt want to do it again. Now he sees that Sam is moments from dying, and has an option... a bad option, but an option. He acted in sheer panic. I cant honestly say I wouldnt do that either. But immediately after, Dean had regrets and fears. Did he make the right call? Was this angel gonna take Sam over or tear him apart? Dean wrestled with this every episode till they finally got Gadreel out. He knew Gadreel taking over and killing Kevin was his own fault and whatever backlash was coming from Sam, he deserved. Now after this I fully understand Sam’s hurt 100% and I think he was even hurt that Dean chose to leave afterwards, but his words at the end of The Purge hurt me for Dean’s sake. Not “Same circumstances, I wouldnt” because of course he wouldnt do the same thing. But telling Dean theres no upside to him being alive, and how Dean tells himself that he does more good than bad, but he doesnt, and “Ill hand it you, you;re willing to do the sacrificing, as long as you’re not the one being hurt” was crushing. Dean has always been hurt in his sacrificing, it was like Sam forgot Dean sacrificing his soul for Sam to live and spending 40 years in hell. So, where I will agree Dean says some crappy things, Sam has been guilty of that too. Both have every right to feel what they feel, but that doesnt give them the right to do or say whatever they want. Dean always gets friends and Sam doesnt! Now this I think is basically their make up, not a narrative bias. Sam learned in S1, Skin that friends are a liability and having them in their line of work, puts them in danger. Sam is kind and compassionate and the one who talks to the victims and witnesses with care so they trust him, but he doesnt try to pull them closer, to be friends, because he knows its dangerous for them, as he explained to Adam in Jump the Shark. Dean knows this too, but he needs people. He makes friends and tried to have a family outside the job... it never works out, but he still tries. I think Jody is more drawn to Sam, and probably even Rowena, it also looks like Mary is more drawn to Sam, but Sam is still leary of being close to people. I dont think this has anything to do with the writers wanting us to think Dean is more likable, but to see that the boys need different things. Like Dean has a lot of sex, he needs physical, Sam doesn’t he needs verbal. This is why he has conversations with everyone. Dean has more dialogue than Sam! He does, often times, I guess if its measured, Dean has probably had more onscreen lines than Sam, but I think they make up for that by giving Sam the bigger story arcs. They give Jared the harder roles to act. Dean’s arcs are almost always the same, he is either more violent, or less violent, whereas Sam has been possessed numerous times, went through addiction and withdrawal, Soullessness, fighting against himself, and acting along side his own different personas, insanity, twice, hallucinations,severe physical illness, loss of loved ones, sexual assault, and torture, torture, and more torture. He’s been as weak as a child and yet the biggest badass on the show ever. Dont think because Dean says more that Sam doesnt impact the show just as much, if not more. If both shared the same character arcs, it would be monotonous, if Dean didnt have more dialogue than Sam, compared to Sam’s story lines, Dean would look like the antagonist. Oh trust me, I wish every episode was Sam centric, but its not, thats not how the show works, and I have accepted that. I know I missed many more, but I tried to hit all the ones I see the most meta on. i just want all you Sam girls (Bitter or not) to know that not every Sam girl has gotten as negative of a view as many of you have. Feel free to add to this if you want to, I welcome opposing view points too :)

#supernatural #sam winchester #sam girl #not so bitter sam girl #sam love #dean love

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 8 years ago

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Sherlock “The Final Problem” Observations

Jim Moriarty has to be the smoothest motherfucker in the fictional world. He just does it so well! It takes a certain amount of class to be like that, and yet Andrew really pulls it off. I’ve admittedly missed him.

He was fun.

Jim could somehow get it on with a peach and it would seem perfectly normal and even expected thanks to Andrew’s impeccable acting.

Mycroft is sitting alone in the dark, watching an old film and giggling like a damn dork as he mouths the words like he’s some fucking genius. So damn proud of himself.

And then that tiny smile when he sees the old video of his family from years back. As if he’s shocked to see it and shocked to be moved by it.

And then ‘I’m Back’ has to fuck it up. Just when the Ice Man was getting the #FEELS someone has to ruin it! I was so ready to squeal!

Though the joke itself was kind of funny it thankfully got rid of that shitty ass, poor-foreplay-filled film he was watching. Good Christ that was painful.

And then Mycroft literally goes and proves me RIGHT! For years I have lived with the belief that there was a weapon of some sort in that umbrella and I feel so very fucking brilliant! Why else would he carry it around ALL the time?

Mycroft lives in this big ass house that is literally decorated out the ass with unnecessary shit. That’s gotta be effin lonely, good Lord. The open space, the vacancy. It’s kind of sad to see how lonely the British Government is without him even realizing it.

John and Sherlock are dicks. All is right in their world.

For now.

Bill ‘The Wig’ Wiggins gets another mention!

Though seriously, wtf is with the fandom in forgetting who he is? Like, how many posts labeled him as some ‘nameless junkie’ in “The Lying Detective”?

He may be a drug addict, but he’s a brilliant Chemist that even Sherlock takes seriously. Give the guy a break. Doing drugs or alcohol doesn’t make you any less of a person. They just make you a person who might need some help and self control.

Mycroft: This is a private matter.

John: *moves to get up*

Sherlock: John stays.

Mycroft: This is family.

Sherlock: THAT’S WHY HE STAYS!

John: *tiny half smile at his notepad*

This part was really touching because it’s Sherlock showing an insistence that John is important to him and that of all the people he wants with him while he’s learning such intense things about himself, he wants John to be there.

No offense, but choosing your friend over your blood relations is a very important action.

Sherlock’s icy indifference had been chipped away by John a little at a time, until he feels comfortable enough to admit in front of his brother, who thinks that ‘caring is not an advantage’, that he thinks of his best friend as family first and foremost.

That sociopathic exterior just slowly gets further and further away.

Mycroft is 7 years older than Sherlock. Sherlock is one year older than Eurus. Sherls was the middle child. It literally explains so much. Being the middle child sucks.

Mrs Hudson rocking away to heavy metal while hoovering is probably the coolest thing. The Aston Martin was awesome, but her musical taste is wow. I love her and I want her as an honorary Nana.

John: Oscar Wilde.

Mycroft: What?

John: He said, ‘the truth is rarely pure and never simple’. *breaths deeply* It’s... The Importance of Being Earnest. We did it in school.

Mycroft: So did we, now I recall. I was Lady Bracknell.

Sherlock: Yeah. You were great.

Mycroft: You really think so?

Sherlock: Yes, I really do.

Mycroft: That’s good to know. I’ve always wondered.

Sherlock: *looks down* *whispers* Good luck, boys.

God, the suspense killed me. And I swear that little brotherly exchange was sad.

Eurus knew Bach from a second of sound. That’s awesome. I play games like that to test my musical knowledge and am nowhere near as good. She’s like a bloody computer.

The whole glass bit was pretty interesting. It’s an optical illusion catered to one specific direction. If he were to come at her from a different angle, he would have noticed the odd cut in the signs.

You see what you expect to see. Why would a major facility not have a dangerous person behind a glass wall?

He wasn’t observing.

10.

John being the one to notice whose voice was on the recording is great. Mycroft, Mr. Genius couldn’t even tell.

I like it when John is given a chance to prove that he too can pay attention. That he can observe like Mycroft and Sherlock. Of course it lands them in deep shit, but it’s still nice all the same.

John isn’t some rug to be walked on and he’s not just a sidekick.

11.

Jim is ‘relatable’. And to be frank he really is which is so not fair!

“The Hungry Donkey” is a fanfic I would love to read. Sorry, but Jim had a point. Putting a baby in a manger is literally asking for trouble.

12.

Sherlock asking John how he is when he wakes up is really sweet. Like, he’s considerate of John’s health so much and my feels...

Also, he teases John a lot. Teasing!

13.

Sherlock was moving on to calm the little girl down. He was trying to reassure her with praise for following instructions.

Watching his growth as a character is honestly so special and I love the obvious changes from season one.

14.

Mycroft being terrified to kill someone is probably the most humane thing I’ve seen from him. Like, he honestly lost his cool then and was unable to differentiate between the situations. And I think it shows more depth to his character and how he views the ‘world of goldfish’ truly.

If Mycroft was as detached and emotionless as he wants everyone to believe, then he wouldn’t show such feelings, especially in front of others.

Hiding his face in his hand and leaning against the wall so he doesn’t have to watch. Despite the power he controls and the danger he has probably had to become familiar with, he couldn’t handle it.

The erratic breathing and mild panic attack setting in.

Retching against the wall.

Mycroft has gone through a little character growth of his own. And while traumatic for him, I think it was necessary.

15.

“Today we are soldiers, Mycroft. Soldiers. And that means to hell with what happens to us!”-John Watson

In all honesty, the military is not a place for fun and games. While they glam it up with words like ‘serving your country’ or ‘helping the cause’, you are basically putting yourself in danger on a constant basis. You are working for a cause that you might not even know everything about, but you are going to give it your all because in the military, the good of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Because you might one day have to throw yourself in the line of fire or throw yourself on a bomb to save your comrades. Military is not about you. You agree to shed who you are to make yourself a tool to be used for the ‘safety’ of your cause.

That is what it means to be a soldier. John is a soldier, and he realizes what is happening. And he knows that now is not the time for games and competitions. It’s about the good of the many being more important than the need of the few,

And it’s a lesson that Mycroft needs.

John has had at least one chance in each season to put Mycroft in his place and I like that this time wasn’t for the sake of a joke and one-upping him.

Mycroft needs to understand that not everything is a contest and being the ‘best’ isn’t always the best thing.

16.

The name of the person who was supposed to get the coffin, was on the lid. Mycroft has some sass in him somewhere.

17.

Molly’s kitchens is a chef’s wet dream. I swear to God, I want everything in it. Everything I can and cannot see. Who would have thought that such a secluded woman would have such a state of the art kitchen?

But if she has this bomb ass kitchen, then she must be a cook of some sort. Why else would she need a house/flat with such a detailed room if she was practically incapable of cooking anything and wouldn’t need it?

So I headcanon that Molly is basically a great cook and likes to make morgue jokes to her food while she cooks it.

Her jumper was hideous though. We can’t have everything it seems.

It also sucks that Molly got dragged into it. Again. Like, can’t the girl have some damn peace and quiet in her life? Can’t she just relax?

And it’s incredibly sad because she was basically friend zoned before she had to confess her feelings for a man that won’t return them the way she wants.

Though she made him realize how incredibly hard it is to admit your feelings. Even if he doesn’t love her, he struggled to say those words. After he literally threw them about a moment prior, many times, he could not do it when put on the spot because she was his friend and he knew his insincerity would hurt her.

18.

To put ‘I Love You’ on a coffin is a bit macabre, isn’t it? It’s basically implying that the Love was dead before it truly began.

And that’s sad.

Especially when Sherlock began to emotionally trash the shit out of it because he was just that wrung out.

19.

“Brother mine.”

I am not well right now. He cares a lot. And I care a lot. And we all care too much. He tried to anger Sherlock in order to have Sherlock shoot him. He wanted his little brother to be able to keep his best friend this time, and that hurts.

And Sherlock shaking and being so sad and unable to do it. He cares too.

My #FEELS

Sherlock turning the gun on himself because he doesn’t want to shoot his big brother or his best friend.

RIP Melli.

20.

The trauma of having to realize that your childhood friend was killed by your own sister, is one thing.

But we as an audience now understand more about Sherlock. He re-wrote his own story because he didn’t like it. He couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to. A common thing in those with PTSD.

Sherlock’s actions from then on were a reflection of his new attitude. His character in A Study In Pink makes more sense now.

And it’s probably the saddest thing to realize for him.

21.

Greg calling Sherlock a ‘good man’ is a nice way to come full circle from episode one of season one.

He called him Greg!

Sometimes I wondered if Sherlock actually knew his name but said wrong ones to annoy him. It’s a very Sherlock thing to do.

22.

“It is what it is.”

23.

Mummy Holmes looks to Sherlock and asks him for help. “You were always the grown up.”

Probably the best moment in Sherlock’s life. Like he’s somehow managed to be the more mature between he and Mycroft, in his parents’ eyes. More responsible. Level-headed. Which is ironic considering what happened in this episode.

24.

Sherlock and Eurus performing a duet.

Now, this is a bit strange for me to like especially after the emotional trauma she put them all through throughout the episode, but when I see Eurus, I don’t see a copy of Mycroft or Sherlock.

Sherlock was once a ‘machine’. If anything. Eurus is the machine, constantly working through variables in an effort to understand.

Sherlock’s emotions are what make him a great detective. Eurus has a great mind, but her lack of understanding for emotions are her downfall in a way. She’s not good with them, much like Mycroft, and so she remains to be like a computer.

A computer that needs heavy rewiring. And a de-bugging.

She is not well. She will not have a normal life.

“Genius needs an audience,” as Sherlock once said. She had no audience. She had no friends. She had nothing. No one. She was her own friend. And it didn’t do her any good.

On top of that, I’m not certain her situation was handled properly. It doesn’t seem like the best was done for her, and while I get limited options at the time, couldn’t they have done better as technology and the area of medicine progressed?

Sherlock playing a duet with her doesn’t mean he forgives her. Maybe he’s accepted what she’s done, and can understand her point of view now. Maybe he knows how unwell she truly is, and he pities her.

Or he’s genuinely interested in the sister who was pretty much gone from his life for at least 30 years.

The Holmes parents wanted to be in contact with her despite everything she’d done. What’s so off about Sherlock being curious? His entire memory was rearranged because of it. He has a right to be curious.

25.

MISS YOU

“Who you really are doesn’t matter.”

A lot of people have emotionally taken this phrase out of context. And I could honestly gripe about how pathetic it is, but my comment just now kind of explains my thoughts of almost everyone else’s thoughts, so I’ll continue on.

As always, people take only one part, instead of the whole.

“I know who you really are. A junkie who solves crimes to get high, and the soldier who never came back from the war.”

Mary lays it on them. The facts of who they are. Sherlock is an addict and he substitutes cocaine, for crime solving to keep his mind afloat and of use. Otherwise he’d been higher than a kite and eating chips all the time.

John was unable to transition into the life of a civilian. Much like other soldiers never truly do. You can take the soldier out of the war, but you cannot take the war out of the soldier, and this is a textbook case of it.

She broke them down past their titles and what everyone knows them as, to their basics. Who they really are.

And being a junkie isn’t considered cool. Having an addiction to adrenaline isn’t considered cool. Most would look down on such things if they knew the truth about Sherlock and John and their inner struggles and problems. They’d been deemed unstable. Awkward. Dangerous probably.

Two men who live together actively seeking danger and possibly life threatening circumstances constantly, in order to fulfill some kind of addiction they each have.

But Mary goes on to tell them that it doesn’t matter.

I have said many times that doing drugs or alcohol doesn’t make you a bad person. And a lot of people would look down on them for the truth of who they are, but Mary tells them it doesn’t matter. She knows them and who they can become. She understands both of them in ways that other people can’t.

It shouldn’t matter if someone is a junkie or if they suffer PTSD. It shouldn’t be their defining characteristic. We are more than our choices. Sherlock and John are more than their choices.

And to get all angry over something that simple is immature and as I previously stated, pathetic.

26.

John spraying the new smiley face on the wall.

I lowkey thought he and Mrs Hudson were annoyed by it, but he literally re-sprays it on the new wallpaper!

Sherlock shoots the wall again to be sure.

He then stabs the mantel, much to poor Mrs Hudson’s vexation.

27.

Sherlock and John living in 221B and raising Rosie together. And John smiling up at Sherlock. Yes. Seeing Sherlock going from trying to reason with a baby on how to keep a rattle, to bouncing her in his arms while he smiles, is great.

It’s a moment that I’ve wanted for years.

28.

Finally, my opinion of the Sherlock fandom has gone down since this season started. I never once had a problem until people started attacking me for liking the episodes. People literally mocking me for not believing that John cheated on his wife. And then turning around a week later claiming they didn’t believe it either. I had those blogs marked down and when I checked on them after “The Lying Detective” aired, I blocked every one of their lying asses.

Sherlock is a great show. A show about Sherlock Holmes primarily. Hence why the show is named after him. We see him in the beginning. We see him in the end. It’s his journey. His adventure.

In the last episode of season 4, Sherlock asked John if he was okay, several times. He wasn’t in any way concerned in A Study In Pink. He’s grown as a person by opening up with John.

I liked season 4. There was drama at every turn, little extra bits here and there that required another watch or 5, secrets and riddles that had to be solved. So many throwbacks to the books and former shows, like usual int he show.

I was happy with everything. As a GenderFluid Pansexual, I was not insulted. I didn’t ‘feel attacked’ by anything in Sherlock. I wasn’t phased in the least by anything. I don’t consider anything ‘queerbaiting’ or a ‘spit on the LGBTQ+ Community’. We got Irene for God’s sake! Sexy Lesbian Dominatrix who is smarter than Sherlock, more cunning than Mycroft, and assured in her own sexuality and self. And she wasn’t killed off.

There’s this strange western concept that sex and kissing proves that two people love each other. Romance doesn’t not depend on gender. So unless you’re telling me you’re in love with someone’s genitals, cut the shit.

I don’t need them to kiss. I need them together, happy, doing what both of them love, looking out for each other, and being the pillar the other needs. And if they were opposite genders, this would have immediately been considered canonical conformation of Joanlock. But it’s like it’s only canon if the men kiss for everyone to see.

A kiss doesn’t mean you love someone. Moving to shoot yourself so you don’t have to choose between who to shoot, is a bigger declaration of love.

The words ‘I love you’ are bandied about constantly. They have no meaning in my book. I look to actions to show me how someone feels. So telling someone you love them is easy(if you’re not Molly). But offering to give your life for them isn’t easy.

I take that to be important. I take the emotional support between them as my confirmation.

And if the majority of the fandom wants to throw a fit and continue to be depressed, then do so. But don’t count me in on it.

I’m restricting my contact to the fandom on Tumblr. Shockingly, Tumblr ended up being the cesspool of hate from the Sherlock fandom, out of all the possible sites to cause drama.

So many fandoms are disgusted by BBC Sherlock right now. So many people glad to have not been dragged in ever, as they witness people being attacked in just the past day alone. Their feeds and dashboards filled with blatant harassment between bloggers who can’t grow up.

It’s gotten ridiculous and I don’t want to be a part of it when there are so few people left who actually use their brains.

The Sherlock Fandom has become just like the Twilight Fandom. Congrats. You’ve put me off to fandom happenings and ensured many don’t want to get to know the show we supposedly love so much. And you confirmed the beliefs of a lot of others, over the ‘pretentious assholes’ that make up the Sherlock fandom.

#finally watched in full #this was all noted after one watch though #unliek some i'm not scared to watch again to verify my observations #yep #my opinion #and if you're salty too fucking bad #peopel overreacted to the episode

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blograzorwit · 7 years ago

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Jest A Minute (16/6/2017) from Subroto Mukherjee

Cut Cut Cut---------------------- Now in dire financial straits, a major domestic airline is cost-cutting left, right and center. I flew this airline recently and I can tell you this. They must have cut the cost of in-flight snacks served to passengers. Because the chicken sandwich, for instance, tasted -- tasted -- well, it tasted suspiciously like crow sandwich! *** Wow! What A Catch!----------------------------- In London, a high-rise residential building, Glenfell Towers fell to a horrific, towering blaze! It was too tragic for words with its heart-stopping moments! In desperation, parents on upper floors were forced to throw their children out of windows, hoping those standing below would catch them! In fact, a baby tossed from the 10th floor was safely caught by a man below! Phew! You know what? Now I suddenly feel a new respect for cricket and for those in London who love cricket, play cricket and are passionate about cricket. Because, by gosh, that sure was what I'd call taking a catch of a lifetime -- and a life-saving catch at that! *** Piggy's Anatomy-------------------------- Lately our Hollywood babe Piggy Chopra has been showing a lot of style. What's more interesting, her style has been showing a lot of her anatomy. If she shows any more anatomy, I think, after the TV show Baywatch, she has a good chance of being cast in another US TV show -- Gray's Anatomy. Heck, if fact, they might even change the title of that show to Piggy's Anatomy! *** Which Hunt-------------------- The CBI raided hotshot media baron Prannoy Roy's home. Roy called it a 'witch hunt' by the powers-that-be. I agree. Stung and smarting from the blistering criticism from Roy's NDTV (and other liberal journos and intellects), the new power dispensation has been itching to strike back -- any which way! Well, looks like our new regime is NOT not out on a witch hunt but rather on a WHICH HUNT! I mean, working hard on a list of WHICH critics to hunt down! *** Bollywood Fatsos and Fat-heads--------------------------------------------- Rishi Kapoor was given permission by the authorities to trim a tree outside his house. But what did he do? He chopped down the whole tree! Doesn't he know killing a tree is not good for our environment or for us? But how do you reason with a fat-head? Heck, this fatso does not even know what's good for him! If he did, instead of trees, he'd be chopping down on his own flab and bulk and trim down his own figure! *** Day At The Beach-------------------------- The other day was World Oceans Day. So I went to the beach to pay my respects to the great Indian Ocean that encircles our Mumbai. You know, you pick up a seashell from the beach, put it to your ear and what do you hear? You hear the sound of the waves, the roar of the sea. But guess what I heard when I put a seashell to my ear? I heard my ladylove roaring at me : "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING AT THE BEACH -- WITHOUT ME?" Oh my God! And as if that was not enough. I also heard my boss thundering : "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING AT THE BEACH -- AND NOT WORKING?" *** OUT OF HIS MIND--------------------------------- Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Accord. Actually you know what? He is not just out of that -- he is out of his mind. Then again, I don't blame Trump for being out of his mind. Hey, if I had his kind of warped mind, I too would want to be out of it -- real fast! *** The Silly Twit on Twitter-------------------------------------- Our great leader Modi-ji has 30 million followers on Twitter. But this is what an American journo recently asked Modi-ji : "Are you on Twitter?" Here's my question to this journo : "Dear lady, are a journalist or a JOKE?" *** Cereal Killer------------------------- If, like me, you are in the bad habit of wasting your time soaking up pulp fiction, American thrillers, then you'd be half convinced that the great US is crawling with creeps, crazies, sickos, weirdos, psychos, stalkers, slashers and serial killers! On the other hand, India might not be teeming with such pervs on the prowl -- but we'd better watch out for CEREAL KILLERS! I mean, food adulteration and contamination is now so wide spread here, there are potential killers lurking in the whole gamut of food grains, pulses and cereals! *** We Love Ireland -- Suddenly-------------------------------------------- We never cared for Ireland. Or for anything about Ireland or anything to do with Ireland. Or for anything Irish. Except -- ho ho -- maybe Irish coffee (which, to our delight, is nothing but booze disguised as coffee!) But now that an Indian -- OK, half Indian -- has been elected the Prime Minister of Ireland, we are clapping, cheering, hollering and shouting the roofs off our houses in glee. Typical Indian reaction. Until yesterday, we cared two hoots for Ireland. Ireland was the LAST thing on our minds. Now, suddenly -- HA! -- we want to be the FIRST to compliment the new PM of Ireland. *** Great Shakes------------------------ Sunny Leone was on a chartered flight when bad weather really shook up her aircraft. Exactly how was the experience? Let me draw you a clear picture of the shaking. For the passengers it was like taking a ride in a cement mixer. Or, you could say, the aircraft shook like a bed when Sunny is in it, engaging in her favorite activity! *** Dumbo Rambo--------------------------------- Bollywood is now making the Indian Rambo starring Tiger Shroff in the title role. And I am 100 percent sure Tiger will do full justice to the role. After all -- hey -- what does it take to play that all-brawn, no-brain human buffalo called Rambo? All it takes is 99 percent muscles -- and 1 percent acting! *** Gumnaam Property Dispute-------------------------------------------- Someone in Bollywood wants to re-make that old, old thriller Gumnaam. And the original makers of that film are -- naturally -- opposed to it. They claim the property belongs to them and only they can re-make it.Well, if I may intervene in this property row, I'd say this property belongs to neither party. This property actually belongs to Agatha Christie whose bestseller And Then There Were None inspired Gumnaam in the very first place. *** Boom Zoom--------------------- Whoopee! Business for Indian airlines must be booming -- zooming. Why else would our airlines order the purchase of over 1,000 new aircraft? And the best new is this. Now if you are racing to the airport to catch a flight but you get stuck in traffic -- no sweat. When you finally reach the airport, you will find your flight is also stuck in a traffic jam of planes on the ground still waiting to take off! *** The Pomp of POTUS--------------------------------- Recently at the NATO summit, when the attending NATO country leaders gathered for a photo shoot, this is what the refined and cultured Mr Trump did. He roughly shoved aside the Prime Minister of Montenegro so he (Trump) could hog all the attention, be the center of attraction They say when someone looks like a pompous ass and acts like a pompous ass, he has to be pompous ass. No, not pompous ass, he has to be POTUS (President Of The United States)! *** Big Scream------------------------ I got a big screen TV so I could watch the new Baywatch movie starring our own Piggy Chopra. Did I just say big screen TV? Actually it turned out to be a BIG SCREAM TV -- when I dropped it accidentally on my toes! *** Side Effects--------------------- I was reading about medicines and their side effects. All medicines have side effects. Take my case. I recently had watery nose, sore throat and body ache. My doctor gave me medicines that cured my watery nose, sore throat and body ache. But there were side effects. I was left with watery eyes instead of a watery nose, sore joints instead of a sore throat and headache instead of body ache! *** Dr Sicko!----------------- Turns out an orthopedic doctor in Mumbai has a few sly bones in his own body. This Dr Sicko was secretly filming a couple of female doctors while they took their bath. You know, when you have a nasty doggie at home, you put up a sign outside your house warning 'beware of dog' Well, these two doctor ladies have now put a sign outside the home of this sneaky doctor : beware of DOC! *** Sure-Lock Homes-------------------------- Brutal crimes are on the rise in Mumbai. A poor actress was just found murdered in her own flat! Terrible state of affairs! Breaking and entering to commit heinous crimes has become rampant here. You know what this calls for? This urgently calls for Sherlock Holmes. No, wait -- I mean SURE-LOCK HOMES! *** Good Heavens!----------------------- And infamous Saudi arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi left for his heavenly abode the other day. Not long after that, we here in Mumbai experienced quite a thunder storm. The sky flashed and boomed like big guns in action! You'd think, no sooner did arms dealer Khashoggi reach the heavens than he cut a deal with the rain gods and sold them a battery of howitzers! ***

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