#my tag for this because i'm sure i'll have things to say again
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bucktommyscones · 2 days ago
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Post 8x5 fic because Lou said so. (Not really, but kind of.) This got a little hornier than I'm sure we would have gotten, but you know, when in Rome. Also, isn't it great how the season ended with this ep? What an awfully short season. Oh well.
"No."
Tommy can't see him from where he's navigating them back to Evan's place, but he just knows he's pouting. After nearly six months, his Evan senses are always tingling.
"Oh come on," Evan whines. "Just pull over into an overlook or something. Bet I can get you off in no time."
Tommy snorts a laugh. "I'm sorry, is that supposed to make me want to do it? I thought you had a better sense of my abilities than that, Boil Boy."
Evan considers this and Tommy can see his grin out of his peripheral vision. He should look ridiculous with those damn things on his face, but he looks like an adorable brat, which is as per usual these days.
"Okay, that didn't come out right."
"No one's coming any time soon," Tommy says, turning on his signal to change lanes.
Evan snickers. "Fine, fine. No public sex for us. I get it. Can I get you out of that suit and get your dick in my mouth when we get to my place?"
Tommy reaches over and pinches his thigh, gratified when Evan jumps a little.
"Hey! Rude."
"Why are you so horny all of a sudden?"
"All of a sudden? I thought you knew me by now, Tommy."
Tommy laughs again. "Okay, okay."
"Besides," Evan says, and if Tommy isn't mistaken, his voice sounds...hesitant? "I just want to thank you. You know, for driving three hours from home to go to a dead outlaw's funeral."
Tommy feels himself melt. "You don't have to thank me. I enjoyed it."
"You did?" Evan sounds surprised.
"Seeing you in your element all cute and earnest? Getting to spend time with you? I'll do it any time."
Evan runs a hand through the hair on the back of Tommy's head, affectionate and warm. He loves it when Evan does that.
"How can you possibly think I'm cute right now?" Evan wonders and this is not the first time he's asked.
"I always think you're cute. Even when you're gross."
Evan's laugh is infectious and Tommy laughs with him. He leans forward in his seat and smacks a kiss to Tommy's cheek. "I like you, Tommy Kinard."
"I like you too, Evan Buckley," Tommy says. "Chinese on the way home?"
"Sounds good," Evan confirms. "Wanna make out on the couch and watch a movie? Then I can get your dick in my mouth?"
Tommy grins because watching a movie always turns into something else. "You're on."
tag list:
@desert--moonchild @sazzynatural, @multishippinghussy, @mmso-notlikethat, @esendoran
@sunnywithachanceofbi, @sleepywinchesters, @buck-up-buckley, @manifestingchaoticvibes, @corvid-cryptidd
@lbltpsmspenguin, @theotherbuckley, @cliophilyra, @actuallyitsellie, @thecarrott
@talktonytome, @misstommykinard, @the-omniscient-narrator, @bobbinsnash, @a-mel0n
@hyperfocusthusly, @mayorjack, @marvelousbuckley, @swagmaster9k
@byunbuckjunmy, @rutathenurse, @sluttytommykinard, @bidisasterevankinard
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bringbackmaes14 · 21 hours ago
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It's fine; you just have to understand that friendships between people in different age groups don't and can't necessarily work the same as friendships between people in the same age group.
I'm not even kidding when I say that when I was a kid/teenager two of my best friends were the grocery bagger at my local supermarket, Mr. David, who was in his mid 50s, and Mr. Theodore, an usher at my church, who was in his mid 70s. I was bullied and ostracized in my own age group, so I didn't have a lot of friends my own age. But I saw these two old guys a couple times a week. Mr. David had met my mom when she was pregnant with me so he'd been around my whole life and watched me grow. And we'd been going to the church where Mr. Theodore was an usher and since I was 3 years old.
And the thing was, it wasn't a friendship where I could invite these old guys over for sleepovers or to play tag or to watch SpongeBob, and they didn't talk about politics or playing golf or retirement plans with me. But when I saw them, I'd get a great big bear hug and a "how ya doin, kiddo?" They'd ask me how school was and I'd ask them how things were at the grocery store or the church. They'd ask me how my siblings were doing, and I'd ask Mr. David about his nieces and Mr. Theodore about his grandkids. I had a secret handshake with both of them (that now that I think about it might've been the same handshake for both of them but they didn't know each other so it was fine). We'd tell each other jokes. We'd make promises to see each other again when my parents eventually dragged me off to the next errand or sunday school class.
And those were good friendships! Not every good friendship has to include tons of quality time and numerous shared interests. I'm sure tons of us have friends now, even in our own age group, where we text them or see them once every six months, catch up for a few hours, and then we don't hear from them from a long time, and that's just how the cycle goes, but you still consider that spotty cycle a friendship!
And I'll also say: I'll never forget how devastated I was when I found out Mr. David had died in an accident. I remember going to the grocery store when I was 13 and asking a manager where he was because I hadn't seen him for a while, and the manager pulled my mom and I aside and said "Sweetie I'm so sorry. I know you and Mr. David were very close, but he died in a car accident three weeks ago." That was the first major death in my life. I'll never forget how furious I was when I told teachers and therapists that my best friend had died in an accident, and when I explained that my best friend had been an "old" man named Mr. David, I was told children couldn't be best friends with old men. I still tell people to this day that Mr. David was my first best friend.
I know now that there are definitely more fulfilling ways to have friendships than the friendships I had with Mr. David and Mr. Theodore (Mr. Theodore is still alive to my knowledge, I just don't live in that state anymore), but I don't regret the friendships I had with them at all, in fact I'm very very grateful for them.
My mom was constantly stressed but very much doing her best to raise me and my 3 siblings, and my dad was around but he was an abusive piece of shit. I'd had a boatload of disrespectful and downright demeaning therapists, and 9 times out of 10 the teachers I had either brushed me off entirely or loved me right up until they didn't. Suffice to say my view of adulthood was pretty shitty.
But these two old guys were there to remind me adults can be kind, to kids and adults and everyone in between! And adults can be silly! And adults can hug people just because they're happy to see them. And adults can have fun. And adults can love- their parents, their children, their spouses, their neighbors, their coworkers, their friends, a stranger walking by who just needs a smile.
Think about all the lessons kids and teens could learn from adult friends.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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kenobster · 8 months ago
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It's interesting to learn about identity disturbance with BPD because it really starts to explain everything. If your entire sense of self is held up by external sources (aka your friends! your environment!), then so many other things start to make sense. Like, for example, if your opinion on a character or a movie doesn't match your friend's opinion, then that's two parts of your identity contradicting each other!!! It's literally going to cause you cognitive dissonance! No wonder it's so distressing to me when that happens!!! 😖
Or another example!!! The clinginess omg. You realize it's because you practically have NO boundaries whatsoever. You've practically been begging your friends to inhabit your fucking body lmao. And obviously people can't do that (for one, physics.... but for another, people got their own bodies to deal with lol). So when they inevitably aren't around, it's like the driver of the vehicle you're a passenger in just passed out unexpectedly. No wonder you're trying everything you can to get their attention lmao — they gotta wake up and drive!!!! 😱
It's also really interesting when you start to try to develop your sense of self (in DBT, it seems to be worded as "self respect"? I could be wrong though). Like, you've spent most of your life not knowing who you are or what you want/need. And the SECOND you find that one little decision you can make for yourself? That one little kernel that's you and nobody else? Well, suddenly it's like you've got the crown jewel (XD) in your hands and the world seems to transform into this armada of invaders trying to take it from you. Like bruh. Step away. This is ME i've got here, and I'm not letting her go without a fight lmao. (Narrator voice: but no one is actually fighting her...... lol)
Anyway I feel bad for ppl who learn all this in less-than-ideal circumstances because like... I think a lot of people would probably get confused/upset/angry at the change in behavior (like someone is going from doormat people-pleaser to some sort of Napolean Boneapart world-conquerer type lol). So damn, I'm super grateful because I've been getting needlessly feisty about wanting some autonomy lately, and pretty much everyone I know has been super supportive and encouraging about it???? And that's really neat. 🥰 -feels very loved-
Anyway this has been a Ramble sorry. I just feel really good about things I've decided to do to improve myself lately, and I wanted to share lmao. I still haven't started writing as much as I had hoped I would, but like.... I'm starting to feel like ME, and I'm really happy about it. :)
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esaari · 1 year ago
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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lieutenantselnia · 4 months ago
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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winter-spark · 1 year ago
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I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.
I think it's fear of being wrong.
#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate#that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it#I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense#that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess#I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow#and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there#I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...)#that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself#also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol#But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense#(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests#but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them)#I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things#so who can say yet#(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.)#Citron & his brothers#as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them#which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh?#but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them#so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day#or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___'#you know?#these tags are too long#sorry for rambling#I legit could've just made a separate post with them#but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them#I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway#still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this#idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3#by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol
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neverendingford · 11 months ago
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#tag talk#told my brother about how I trimmed my sublingual frenulum and he explained to me how apparently I'm a 12 on the weird scale#he was like “at least it wasn't the dick one” and I had to tell him that yeah I already got that one like.. two years ago.#I think I'm now a 13 on the weird scale in his eyes#idk. it's always an isolating experience to meet people who are like “yeah I'm so weird I'm a freak!” and then I start talking and they just#the slow horror creeps across their face and suddenly I'm the freak again.#and here's the thing. yeah it's mixed up in mental instability but it's rooted in a genuine view that my body is just an object#I feel better than I've ever felt and I've been thinking about how I don't like that part of my body. so I changed it. simple as that.#it's not self harm it's self actualization. I'm creating something.#this is my gripe with mental health professionals. they view it as pathology. view it as a problem.#was me piercing my ears an act of self harm? I would say no. but deliberately sticking a needle into your body could be extrapolated as such#idk. just because I'm not like everyone else doesn't make me a freak. doesn't make me bad. doesn't make me abhorrent.#I like the fact that I'm becoming more confident in my weirdness. owning it. if anyone doesn't like it they can leave. I am who I am.#I still want some sort of wing design across my back and shoulder blades but I think I'll actually have to get that done professionally.#some day. not soon for sure. but eventually#my back is relatively bare compared to my front since my arm reach is limited so you know.#but like. a dragon wing design kinda like the red dragon Hannibal-style#wouldn't that absolutely fuck severely?#I think it would#I don't want more far out body mods like split tongue or piercings on less practical body parts#though actually ngl after bottom surgery I would actually totally get some sort of labial piercing maybe.#that would actually be sick as hell I think.#zero desire to pierce my dick cause I don't want it at all so the less attention it gets the better#anyway. done rambling for now.
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elboxitracio · 7 days ago
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Ok so the whole butterfly pinning is not for people whose hands tremble as much as mine do. Will that stop me? No<3
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theladygazingatemptiness · 2 months ago
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me @ me: hoe don't kill this fish tryna be Mother Ocean
#wak#cher the fish mom#negative /#animal death ment /#tag vent /#I'm p sure part if not most of why the brine shrimp/Sea Monkey experiment failed#(aside from the fact that generic brine shrimp mortality rate is already high bc they're meant to be fish food but. Barely Relevant)#is bc all the time I'd think#'ok but. what if there isn't Enough food and they die'#'what if this isn't Enough conditioner and they die#'what if I haven't cleaned this Enough and they die'#and I meant well. I really really did and I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing#and as I've stated before I spent well over $200 trying to keep them alive#but. I end up letting my weird feelings get in the way and doing way too much and ruining Everything as a result#(not to mention the sheer lack of Brine Shrimp As Pets information out there Did Not help. Again Not An Excuse Just An Explanation)#(I Have No Excuse)#which is most Definitely not an issue exclusive to brine shrimp#but. it's one of them#like... I'm the person who after 20 salt shakes still thinks 'What If This Isn't ENOUGH Salt' and ends up making food completely inedible#plus I was thinking 'I'll Raise Them As Friends And Not Food!!' or w/e dumb fakecute shit I was thinking#but I had No Idea what I was doing and clearly wasn't qualified#and so rather than providing essential nutrients for people's pets they just ended up having to be put down drains and wasted#I'm going off on a tangent but.. the point is#me @ me: Play By The Fucking Book This Time. You Don't Know More Than Actual Fish Specialists So Don't Act Like You Do#If Experts Say Only Feed 4 Pellets A Day#Feed Only 4 MF Pellets A Day#Don't Make That Poor Animal Suffer Because You're Paranoid About Literally Everything Instead Of Being A Normal Well-Adjusted Person#And Because You Insist On Playing The Hero You Absolutely Aren't#The Brine Shrimp Didn't Deserve That And Neither Does Your Fish#So: Get Tf Over Yourself!! Do Tf Better!! And BE Tf Better!!
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jq37 · 2 months ago
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Aelwyn is sixteen and preparing for midterms at Hudol. Uniform pressed and starched, head full of incantations and spell components. She doesn't mean to bump into Adaine and get orange juice all over her shirt but today isn't the day she's going to start showing weakness.
"You know, you really should watch we're you're going," she says archly, playing off the clumsy mistake as a purposeful jab.
Playing it off a bit too well because, the next thing she knows, Adaine is flipping her off and a bolt of queasy looking, green energy is coming towards her. Ray of Sickness. And she can't spare the spell slot for Counterspell because she needs it for her exams.
"You little bitch!" Aelwyn says once she's emptied the contents of her stomach down the front of her shirt.
"Good luck with your exams," Adaine says sweetly.
Aelwyn is eighteen and the oldest, mangiest cat she's ever seen in her life has just vomited on her shoes.
"My," she says, casting a shield spell around her ankles to stop the cat from clawing at them. "You weren't kidding. He is a little bastard, isn't he?"
The shelter volunteer looks mortified. "Oh, gods! I am so sorry. I tried to warn you--I mean, not that I'm blaming you but--"
"No, it's alright. I did ask you to show me stragglers."
The shelter worker gestures to another pen on the other side of the room. "I can show you the kittens we just got in or there are some very well behaved older cats as well if you'd--"
But Aelwyn cuts her off, scooping up the old cat--though she holds him at arm's length for now, just to be safe. "No need. I haven't changed my mind. I'll take this one." She looks at the tag on his collar. "Hector."
Aelwyn is three and, as of a month ago, no longer the youngest Abernant.
She's had baby dolls in the past but never a baby sister and this is exciting new territory. She's full of questions. When is she going to be able to walk? When is she going to be able to talk? When will she be old enough to have lembas bread instead of formula?
Her parents seem less fascinated by the new addition to the family than she is but her mother is amused when she slaps away the hand of a colleague of her father's who tried to touch Adaine before sanitizing his hands, standing between the much larger man and her sister.
"So defensive. Perhaps she'll be an abjurer."
When Aelwyn asks what that is, her mother says that it's a kind of magical protector and she likes that a lot. That sounds like a good thing to be.
At night, Adaine cries. Except, she doesn't hear it because the mobile above her crib is etched with runes that cast the Silence spell.
"But what if she gets hurt?" Aelwyn asks.
Her father brushes her off. That's what the Unseen Servants are for. But she thinks that's what an abjurer might be for too and even though she isn't one yet, that doesn't mean she can't start practicing.
So, every night, Aelwyn waits until her parents have put Adaine down for bed and then tiptoes into her room. She checks to see if Adaine is silently wailing and if she is (and even sometimes if she isn't) she presses her face between the bars of the crib and sticks her little hand over Adaine's face.
"Don't cry," she says, even though the Silence spell mutes her words as completely as the tears. "Mum said I'm an abjurer. Nothing will get you. Don't cry, baby."
Adaine grabs her hand with impressive grip strength for something so small and, within a few minutes, she's trancing peacefully.
Aelwyn is seventeen and her sister is off to save the world again. This time from a Night Yorb--whatever that is.
It feels cruel that Adaine should have to go risk her life again so soon after she just almost died--not almost died, she did die before being raised by her cleric.
She wants to come with, to help in some way. Surely she could be helpful--last quest they brought Gilear for Helio's sake!
But Adaine doesn't ask her and she can't bring herself to say the words she needs to have the conversation she wants. So, instead, she lightly whaps Adaine on the shoulder with her spellbook as she's packing for the quest.
"I know you haven't done much studying lately what with your grades being based on how many hobgoblins you kill or whatever ridiculous system Aguefort has cooked up," Adaine rolls her eyes at that, "But if you don't mind a little cram session before you leave tomorrow, I can show you how to cast Teleport like I said. Might help you stay a touch less dead on your quest."
Her tone is light but her eyes betray her: Please, please, please don't die again.
Adaine's expression softens but then she scoffs, playing her half of their game. "I don't know what a Hudol dropout who's been in jail for the past year is gonna teach me but do your best."
Aelwyn is seven and her father is cross with her.
"Really Aelwyn," he says and even though they're talking via crystal she can feel the frost of his glare. "You thought it was appropriate to call me at work for no good reason? How many times have I told you and your sister to not bother me while I'm working."
She hates the word bother. She doesn't want to be a bother. She tries very hard not to be. Maybe she just didn't explain herself well enough.
"I know, father. But Addy got really scared and panicky on the playground. She was breathing really hard and--"
Her father makes a noise of disgust. "I don't have time for this. She is in primary school now. Stop coddling her. And her name is Adaine, not Addy. Please speak properly. I'm raising you better than that."
He hangs up before she can say anything else.
Aelwyn is eighteen and most of the claw marks on her arms have healed, which is nice. On her lap asleep is Hector who has apparently decided he likes her enough to use her as a radiator but not enough to submit to medical treatment without using her arms as a scratching post.
"You little heat vampire," she says as she slides her thumb across the screen of her crystal, searching for a video that will help her out. Eventually she finds one that looks promising and she calls it up.
On the screen, a halfling is standing next to a cat who is actively shredding her sweater with its claws. "You're going to be tempted to use some kind of a shield spell when applying the ointment," says the halfling. "But cats can smell abjuration magic and they don't love it. You won't get close enough to do the job. Isn't that right my darling?"
In response, her cat hacks up a hairball.
"Darling indeed," she says under her breath.
But even laced with sarcasm, the word is sweeter against her tongue than she anticipated.
She sinks her hand into Hector's fur and scratches his back for a few moments before tentatively speaking aloud. "Sleeping well, my darling?"
Hector says nothing--he's asleep and a cat. But warmth blooms in Aelwyn's chest--more than enough to make up for what Hector is leeching from her.
Aelwyn is seventeen and her father has just given her the most horrible command she's ever received in her life--and she's counting being made to sink a ship full of people in that calculation.
She knows her father doesn't expect her to delicately extricate the knowledge he needs from Adaine's mind. He expects her to get it at all costs. To ransack and pillage the memories if necessary with no heed of the consequences on her psyche. He'd probably prefer it that way--the more broken Adaine is, the easier it will be to mold her into a version of herself that is more useful to him.
Aelwyn is usually a smooth talker and a convincing liar but now, she stumbles all over her words, babbling out a stream of deflections and pleas as her heart squeezes tighter and tighter in her chest until she can't hold back the truth that she's been suppressing for years anymore.
"Adaine's just…she's a baby."
Aelwyn is eighteen and her apartment is full of cats.
She's always thought that the phrase, "One thing led to another" was a bit of a cop out--clearly there were key steps between point A and point B being glossed over--but in this case, there is truly no better way for her to articulate how she went from zero cats to ten cats in such a short amount of time.
She's sure that if she was still living with Jawbone, he'd have something to say about it but that's exactly why she isn't currently living with Jawbone.
She portions out food for all of the cats, saving Hector for last because he likes to eat curled up next to her.
"My darling baby boy," she says, lifting him onto the couch with her because the jump up is a bit much for him and his old bones. She kisses him on the top of the head and then pulls out her crystal. She scrolls mindlessly for a bit before checking her messages despite the fact that there's conspicuously no notifications.
Not that she has many people to expect texts from but she hasn't heard from Adaine in a few weeks and it's unsettling. When they weren't getting along, they were still living under the same roof. She was able to keep tabs on her, more or less. Now, they're closer than they've been in ages but barely talking.
I'm the older sister, I suppose, Aelwyn thinks. I should take the initiative.
She pets Hector with one hand and drafts a message with another: Are you alive, bitch?
She's about to press send but then she frowns and deletes the draft. After a few moments of thought, she taps out a new message: Can't believe I'm gonna say this. Miss my little sister. Everything all right?
Aelwyn is seventeen--though she doesn't feel like it.
Her mind is telling her that she's sixteen and that she was just been broken out of a jail cell in Solace but Adaine is telling her that she's just been broken out of an entirely different prison after being tortured for months even though she doesn't remember any of that.
But her body feels frail and Adaine says she's been in her mind which means she must have used the hard reset.
She's suddenly feeling very vulnerable--not because of the disorientation or the of the levels of exhaustion she can feel weighing on her like leaden chains. No, it's because of the fact that Adaine using the reset means that she must have read the treacle-y note that she left there for her to find.
It was just an insurance policy, she tells herself. There was wisdom to buttering up your savior to make sure she'd do what you needed her to do.
She manages to mostly believe it. But the small, truthful part of herself that knows how deeply she meant the words is so uncomfortable that she antagonizes Adaine until she's annoyed enough to hit her with a spell, sending her into blissful unconsciousness.
Aelwyn is nineteen and she's going to kill her mother.
Well, not alone of course. Adaine deserves the kill at least as much as she does if not more. It'll be a group effort.
It's a strange mix--the cold fury at her mother mixed with the warmth she feels for her sister, sitting across the table from her. She summons a flame to her palm, a preview of what their mother has waiting for her. She watches Adaine's eyes harden with resolve and she sees the face of her baby sister, left to wail alone silently for hours, soothed by her presence. "Let's get her."
"Yes, my dear," she says, the endearment coming freely as if this has always been their dynamic. "We'll get her."
But there will be time for that later. Right now, it's time for ice cream and seeing Adaine so content in such a simple pleasure causes the warmth in her to surge so suddenly that it would be startling if it wasn't so pleasant. The urge to voice it is so powerful that she doesn't know that would have been able to stop it at any point in life, let alone now.
"I hope we get to eat ice cream and cast magic forever," she says, words that would have been impossible for her to say one short year ago and impossible not to say now.
And, to her delight, Adaine agrees.
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emphistic · 8 months ago
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Sukuna - 0 / Yuuji - 1
The both of you had reserved a dinner at this restaurant weeks prior. Not for any particular reason, just so you guys could have some fun on a night out together — something that neither of you have experienced in a while. Well, that was the original plan. Yuuji tagging along wasn't. Nor was a tantrum from the little boy, so Sukuna just had to accept the former, unless he wanted the latter . . . which he did not.
This was going to be a long night.
"Umm, can I have a Capri Sun? — Please?"
A very long night.
"Of course! I'll be right back with all of your orders."
Things weren't looking any better for the pink-haired man when the meals came.
Yuuji seemed to be struggling with his macaroni and cheese. Every time he tried to pick up a macaroni, it slid off his fork. Yuuji pouted, puffing his chubby cheeks out, and crossed his little arms.
"Aww, Yuuji. Do you need some help?" You turned to the boy, picking up his fork — that was specifically designed for kids, albeit it wasn't proving to be of any help to the toddler at the moment.
Yuuji fervently nodded his head, "Yes, please!"
"Alright, I'll help you," you ruffled his pink hair, eliciting a giggle from the boy. You picked up some macaroni and blew on it before feeding it to Yuuji.
"'s so yummy!" Yuuji exclaimed.
"Mhm," you wiped some sauce off the side of his mouth with a napkin.
When you had fed Yuuji an adequate amount of his dish, and he decided he wanted to take a coloring break, you began to try your own food. It's safe to say that after having starved yourself to feed a toddler, fettuccine alfredo is close to enchanting.
"Babe, this is so good. You have to try," you twirled the pasta with your fork and held your hand under it — avoiding any possible messes — before feeding it to the man sitting across from you.
Sukuna was ecstatic about having your attention back on him, and not on his little brother, and greedily accepted the food.
"It's not bad," Sukuna remarked, gesturing to you to give him more.
You took another bite of your pasta, before obliging to Sukuna's request, leaning over the table to reach the man.
All the while, Yuuji watched you feed his big brother with glittering eyes. "I wanna try, I wanna try!" He chanted repeatedly, in his adorable, squeaky voice.
"Okay, Yuuji. Just be careful, it's hot," again, you blew on the pasta before feeding it to Yuuji.
"It is dewicous!" Yuuji giggled, having not learned to differentiate between his l's and w's.
You set your fork down, grabbing your purse and getting up from your seat. Both of the Itadori brothers turned to you with looks of curiosity etched on their faces.
"I'm just going to the bathroom. Be right back," you rubbed Yuuji's cheek, making sure he would understand that you would only be away for a little bit.
Sukuna's gaze followed your back as you took your leave. He sighed, not wanting to be left alone with a toddler.
For a few moments, all was silent. Sukuna was glad for the lack of a squeaky voice. Unfortunately, a few moments does not last a long time.
"Umm, Sukuna. Can you help me?"
Sukuna closed his eyes, asking God what he did to be punished this way.
"Help you with what?"
"Can you help feed me, because, because my food is too hot." Yuuji looked at his brother, waiting for him to answer.
Sukuna has to face away from Yuuji, and take a deep breath just to restrain himself from going berserk on the little kid. Then he said, in the most calm voice he could muster, "First, you sit next to my girlfriend and make me sit across from her. Second, you steal her food. And third, you're making me feed you. Yeah, no way, little man." Sukuna shook his head.
Yuuji cocked his head at his brother. "But Y/N was helping me."
"Do I look like Y/N to you? . . . Don't answer that, brat." Sukuna scowlee, grabbing Yuuji's little fork and moving to feed him.
"Here comes the airplane, or whatever. I don't know what kinda shit Y/N says to you."
"Umm, it's too hot."
"That's not my problem, now eat it."
Yuuji gulped, deciding to blow on the macaroni himself, and eating it.
"See? Wasn't so bad."
This continued on for a whopping five minutes. Sukuna finally relented and blew on the macaroni before feeding Yuuji. The little boy was happy to spend time with his older brother, and was practically bouncing in his seat. On the other hand, Sukuna was just glad Yuuji wasn't crying about you not being there.
When you came back from the restrooms, Sukuna immediately put down Yuuji's fork and returned to eating his own meal.
"So, how was it, you two? Did you guys have some quality brotherly love time?"
". . . You are never leaving me alone with this brat again, ever."
Taglist: @starlets-things @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin
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chuulyssa · 8 months ago
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🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ !
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BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.
↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck
★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor
!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff
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"i love you."
ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.
promptly replies with, "i love you too."
he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking
when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin
and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before
he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too
definitely asks for double suicide later
"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."
"Mhm."
"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.
"Dazai, you already said yes."
"I'll say it again!"
​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.
he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine
poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"
he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside
we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it
will decide to give it a shot tho
100% calls dazai to brag about it
"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"
You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.
"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."
ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.
"i know."
he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc
he's known about this since like soooo long
he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess
went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D
eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie
"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"
He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"
ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.
"eh???"
like chuuya, he's pretty confused too
"are you sure?"
tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster
he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up
also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?
reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world
"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.
"I'll try my best."
"You don't have to."
"But I want to!"
He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.
"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."
ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.
screams
"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"
jumps around everywhere in happiness
you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around
either that or he just faints
he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.
you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3
"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.
"Yes?"
"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"
ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.
no reaction. im sorry
spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work
you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????
will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??
he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work
and that's his way of saying yes
He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.
"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."
"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"
"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.
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© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
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natailiatulls07 · 9 months ago
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Mick Schumacher x Platonic!reader Oscar Piastri x Platonic!reader Logan Sargeant x Platonic!reader Liam Lawson x Platonic!reader
Summary - Five young drivers, five different teams and one friendship group
Warning - One hate comment??
Reader drivers for Redbull
Part two three
-
yourusername
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Back in the paddock, who's ready for the season??
Tagged: redbullracing
Liked by fernandoalo_oficial and 203,479 others
username Can't wait for more success from our girlie
username We miss you, where have you been??!
= logansargeant She spent the whole winter break binge watching gossip girl and gilmore girls
= yourusername Shhhhhhhh
username Just waiting for the baby drivers content!!
liamlawson30 posted a story
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logansargeant
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Fuck I'm friends with some weird ass people
Tagged: mickschumacher liamlawson30 oscarpiastri yourusername
Liked by alex_albon and 202,735 others
username Nah Oscar's just being cute ngl
username Liam is giving main character energyyyy
yourusername Why is mine the worst one here omfggg??
= logansargeant Because you are the most weird one!
= yourusername I'm not sharing my sushi with you after the race this weekend
= mickschumacher Aww mate, you've really fucked up there lolll
yourusername posted a story
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yourusername Should I die my hair Red?? Seriously debating it rn
OscarPiastri No, please no!
SchumacherMick Hell yeah! Fire hair!!
LiamLawson30 Oh god! Mick don't encourage her!!!! OMFG
LoganSargeant All I'll say is that you drive for Redbull, and the colour red is owned by a rival of yours
yourusername OMG YOU ARE SO RIGHT!! Let's do rainbow then!
LiamLawson30 Well done Logan! That worked well didn't it?
OscarPiastri I'm so done with you four, so done.
SchumacherMick You know you love us!!
mickschumacher
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Y/n choose the group activity today and she choose sushi, surprise surprise! And Liam turned up in his Ken hoodie which he was very proud of lmao
Tagged: yourusername oscarpiastri logansargeant liamlawson30
Liked by georgerussell and 214,648 others
username That sushi looks sooo good thooo
username Is Y/n wearing friendship bracelets?? Please tell me she made the rest of the guys one each!!?
= username OMFG CAN YOU IMAGINE
liamlawson30 We should defo do sushi again!! I'm still very proud of my hoodie!
= yourusername I loved the hoodie!
Groupchat - Baby drivers (Mick-Purple / Logan-Blue / Oscar-Orange / Liam-White / Y/n-Pink)
HELP FUCK
WAIT WHAT?!
Mick what did you do?!?!
Are you in safety?!
Whats happened???!
I was stalking this girls page when I accidently liked a post from when she was fifteen!!
Aww mate you're screwed!
When she was fifteen?! How old is she now??
Damn you really fucked uppp
She's 23! So over seven years agooo
Yeah that's awkward ngl!
maxverstappen1
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Soo thank you for the smashed trophy Y/n, always so helpful! :|
Tagged: redbullracing yourusername
Liked by yourusername and 223,781 others
username She really said 'Let's all share this win'
oscarpiastri I don't know why they trust her near trophies, pretty sure almost all of her own are broken
= yourusername Shhh, I'm trying my best to seem trust worthy
username Thing is she just laughed about it lol
= username I'm just glad that Max isn’t that annoyed, he joined in with her laughter
yourusername posted a story
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f1gossip
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Spotted: Redbull driver, Y/n L/n and Actor, Barry Keoghan are seen and paped leaving a restaurant together in Monte Carlo. From our sources, it looked like they were on a date and that they were both very intimate with each other. Do we have a new wag in the paddock and are we going to see one of our baby drivers walking a red carpet more often?
Liked by logansargeant and 59,572 others
username Y/n and Barry Keoghan??! The same Barry who was in Saltburn??!
username He is almost ten years older than her ewww
oscarpiastri Oh so this is how we find out...
= logansargeant Ikr!
= mickschumacher She said that she was busy at a redbull event tonight
= liamlawson30 Apparently nottt
username Not the other baby drivers finding out through this post!!!
Groupchat - Baby drivers
So Y/n how's the redbull event??!
Yeah are you and Max bored yet?
Yeahhh
Uh guys I can't really talk rn, me and Max are needed on stage to speak
Oh don't worry, say hi to Barry for us
Barry? Who's Barry??
You know Barry Keoghan, the Barry who you were seen cosying up to at a restaurant in MONTE CARLO
Yeah didn't know the new Milton Keynes is in Monte Carlo, crazy right!
Fuck you've seen the paparazzi photos right...?
Yep! So what's going on with Saltburn guy???
Yeah go on tell us how it went
Or how it's going
yourusername posted a story
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i23kazu · 11 months ago
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♡ THE HELL YOU MEAN YOU'RE HIS LOVER?!
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characters. xiao zhongli diluc kaeya childe wriothesley x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. part 1 !!!! when someone else claims to be their partner / work wife. office!au. | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D
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xiao
you're pretty taken aback by the gall of this .... intern? whoever even was she? to claim that she was your husband's wife.
yep, that's how irrelevant she is
xiao was disgusted, to say the least. horrified.
"get your hands off me." he looks her in the eye, the sudden fierceness emitting a gasp from her.
"i love it when you're strict," she purrs, tracing her fingers up his neck. you smack them away.
"perhaps you'll love it if the ceo was stricter with you," you smile sweetly. "i don't think he takes too kindly to homewreckers."
zhongli
not again. not this ... piece of dirt? no, that might be an insult to his old friend guizhong.
she's a catty lady. beady eyes that went straight for his soul – her piercing stare seemed to always follow him.
he didn't like it one bit. his grip around your waist felt tighter, desperate even – a cold "let's go, dear," escaping his lips.
"so protective, suddenly?" you tease.
"i don't take kindly to those who try to insult my love, dearest."
diluc
oh, he goes red with rage. but he looks on at you proudly, because he knows you got it.
who even was she to claim that she loved him? a silly flowergirl who couldn't do her job right, because she was oogling him the whole time. she worshipped the ground he stepped on.
"who are you looking at?" you tap her on the shoulder, eyes wide with innocent curiosity.
"that man... he's mine." she gazes into his eyes, looking him up and down. you scratch your neck. she asks if you're alright.
"i'm afraid i'll have to correct you on that statement. that man is mine." you grin, turning your hand to show her your ring.
kaeya
okay, you totally get it. your husband is hot. but literally the AUDACITY the lack of SHAME the the the-
"please, we've been put together for almost all our cases. isn't that right, darling? it's almost as if they know we're good for each other." they purr.
darling?? DARLING?? you'll show them darling
"is that so?" you chuckle. "perhaps i ought to write in, then. i'm not too sure if my husband takes well to that. a violation of his personal life, if you will."
they go white at the sight of the ring.
"that's my love." kaeya chuckles, watching then stomp away.
childe
he's wildly uncomfortable. "your complexion is deeply concerning, tartaglia," the doctor chuckles.
"i wonder why." he returns it dryly.
he's too nice to avoid them – those longing stares, the notes slipped through stacks of his paperwork – he cant crumple them up and throw them away. he pretends that they're from you instead.
when that witch comes around to his desk, purring and grimy witch hands all over his papers; pretending to annoy him – 
he can't take it. it's disgusting.
"i'd appreciate it if you left me alone," he stares at her. "my partner and i would appreciate it very much."
wriothesley
oh, he's firm. he's firm, and he's strict about it. word gets around quickly in the meropide, and he sits back with his cup of tea and sighs at the thought of a work lover.
he doesn't stand for it, though. he hates the thought of that.
"get your hands away from me, please," he replies coldly, when they run up to hug him, first thing in the morning.
sigiewinne looks on with a proud smile. i raised that boy.
the girl turns away from him with disgust – from seemingly perfect to nothing but sludge beneath her feet. she slinks away, and wriothesley is satisfied.
he can't wait to tell you the news over a cup of your favourite tea.
perhaps some alone time with each other will do the both of you good.
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taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiths @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @m1shapanda @aimynx @smokipoki @adeptuscharm @vennnnn-diagram @ryuryuryuyurboat @yuminako @camvrin @aqualesha @sixtynintharchon @supernova25 @kunikuda-simp @starglitterz @rin-nyrasti-writes @mxyarylla @starchivves (send ask/comment to be added to taglist)
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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.
#tag talk#vent#I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic#empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good#the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool#but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting.#do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot#because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot#ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now.#it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that.#but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh#the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds.#if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help#but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server#I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear#making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already#meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me.#I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois.#I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school.#the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way#though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild.#anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable.#everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef#nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another.#you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely#both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation.#everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference)#anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad.#I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch.#so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?
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