#my spotify is all over the place and terrifying

[arbitrarykiwi]

Third Times a Charm: Bodytalk 3/3

Nam-Gyu (Player 124) x AFAB Reader smut series

Summary: you ran into him three separate times. First was at a house party, second time was at a club. And like his favorite drugs, he was addicted. The third time? Well he wasn’t going to let you get away so easy. Third times a charm and he was going to get his fix. ((Non-squid game au))

Warnings: smut (18+), LONG (guys..I thought 6k for the last one was bad….this is 11k words...I couldn't help myself), drug usage (only weed this time lol), smoking weed, sex while high, stalker! Namgyu themes, fem centered pet names, divider added were smut starts for convenience, he calls the reader a bitch once, he’s fucking nasty, this is straight porn- v little plot, i feel like i need to go to confession, p in v sex, oral ( f receiving ), fingering, squirting, dirty talk (he really can’t keep his mouth shut), choking, spitting, multiple orgasms, creampie (have safe sex), there's probably more- read at your own risk, was proof read but I am dyslexic.

Previous chapters: Taste Test: 1/3 , Oral Fixation: 2/3

The third time you met him- he came to your place.

You were doing chores around your place- candles were lit, Spotify was playing loudly on the large living room TV rotating through your favorite songs, and even cookies were baking in the oven!

It was two days after your run in with Nam-Gyu at the club. All you could think about was him. The new energy that his interactions gave you was a welcomed motivation. However, to say you were a little nervous he wouldn’t text you was an understatement, you were terrified.

You eased your worries about his absence when you thought about how the last time he was with you- he had to leave with a drug deal gone awry- and you’re familiar enough with the scene to know how time consuming and stressful dealing with that could be.

Still, the absence of him hit you more than you thought it would. He truly had you wrapped around his finger.

To rid yourself of the thoughts, you continued to busy yourself with cleaning your apartment. Soon the oven chimed off a ‘ding’ letting you know the cookies were done. You clapped to yourself, walking to the oven, grabbing the pot holders and pulling the tray out of the oven.

While they cooled you poured yourself a drink, leaning on the counter and looking at your clean place with a sense of accomplishment. You took a sip from the cup and began to think of what else needed to be done.

You pushed yourself back off from the counter, figuring you could get some laundry done. Before you could take a step your phone pinged. Figuring it was just an app notification or one of your friends, you make your way over to your phone with no abnormal excitement.

But when grabbed your phone of the kitchen island and the screen turned on, your heart caught in your throat

‘How’s my pretty girl doing?’

The text came from an unknown number. It blared on your locked home screen as you reread it over and over, your heart rate spiking- you could feel your heart beat in your chest.

‘How’s my pretty girl doing?’ It was like he already claimed you as his, whether you liked it or not.

You unlocked your phone with shaky, excited hands, opening the message, thumbs hovering over the keyboard as you try to think about what to say.

You begin to type when three floating dots pop up, signaling he’s typing again.

‘I’m sorry for not texting you sooner. You really were all I was thinking about. Texted you as soon as I could.’

‘Let me make it up to you? I want to see you’

The texts come in one after the other, in rapid succession. It was if he knew you had your phone open to his messages- just watching his texts come through.

‘You gonna roll for me? Make it worth my time?’ You text back with a small laugh to yourself. You know he’s worth your time- well worth it. But you gotta give him some hell for making you wait so long to hear from him! You see the three dots pop up on your phone screen, you bite your lip as you watch him begin to type.

‘Of course, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t? I even got some new shit I can bring, all for you.’

You smile at your phone, leaning on your kitchen counter and re-reading his message over and over. You finally begin typing to respond, ‘Now you’re speaking my language, come over at 7?’ , you hit send.

‘Sounds like a plan, I’ll be there.’

You don’t even bother texting him your address, remembering at the club how he told you he already found your address. The idea of him seemingly stalking you should have set you off, but here you are inviting that same handsome stalker over- and doing it excitedly.

You returned to your room to get more presentable. Fixing your hair, putting on the cute new lounge set you just got, and spraying some perfume- you excitedly got ready.

You walked back to the living room, settling in on the couch and turning on some random show to try and settle your excited nerves.

A couple hours passed and before you knew it, a knock resounded at your front door

You quickly stood up from the couch walking to the front door. Your heart was in your chest. This was the first time you and him would be alone. It was about time. The thought of it made your head spin.

You reached the door, hand moving to unlock the silver dead bold. With a resounding ‘click’ your hand grips the door knob and pulls the door open.

He stood there with a grin, one of his hands in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a small bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Your breath catches in your throat- you mind reeling. The gesture, the flowers alone, was sweet. Already a large contrast to your flings with him. Hell, he fingered you in someone’s house and face fucked you in his office at a club- you guys weren’t exactly the most romantic pair.

But the fact they were your favorite? That can’t be a coincidence. His smile widens when he sees your expression. “You post an awful lot about your favorite flowers. Your friends get you some every year for your birthday, hard to miss in most pictures on your page.” He quips, stepping forward and running his fingers around your waist and wrapping his arm around your back.

His head tilts to the side as he looks you over. Yet again, he was taking it into his own hands to get to know you- stalking your socials to get to know little details about you. It was endearing in a way. You take the flowers with a wide smile. “You’re such a creep. Thank you.” You say with a giggle, standing up a bit taller to lean in and place a small kiss on his jaw.

You hear him take in a large breath, his hand pulling you into him and gripping your waist just the slightest bit harder when your lips touch his skin. It’s like he’s trying to restrain himself.

“Callin’ me a creep, yet you still let me cum down your throat. What’s that say about you, hm?” He says, dropping his head to begin pressing kisses down your neck and over your shoulder.

You laugh, his lips tickling you as you stumble back. You try to pull away, well ‘try’ is an overstatement. You feebly writhe against him, a joke of an attempt to get away from him to try and close your apartment door.

He laughs against your neck, his lips continuing to trace along your neck. His leg kicks behind him, shutting your door for you, his arm that’s not around your waist reaches behind him to lock the door.

He pulls away finally, his head tilting back upright to look at you. His hand reaches up to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing along your bottom lip. “‘M sorry for keeping you waiting.” He says in a low voice, nearly a whisper as he looks you over.

You hum, smiling and lifting a hand up to hold his cheek, thumb rubbing a circle along his skin as you tilt your head like you’re thinking. “I suppose I can forgive you…” you say with a pout that immediately turns into a laugh.

He watches as you laugh and he thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and your laugh is the most enchanting sound he’d ever hear. He can’t help but to pull you closer to him by your waist, your chest pressing against his as he catches your lips in a kiss.

It catches you by surprise, a sound like a small squeak comes out into the kiss. But when the feeling of his lips is finally on yours once again, you simply melt into him. Your legs feel like you go limp, his arm around your back only thing keeping you up as your lips move against his. The kiss is surprisingly soft and meticulous like he’s been without the feeling of your lips for too long. And to him he has.

As he pulls away, his hand dances along your spine.

You guys stand there for a moment, just staring at each other. You break the silence, realizing the hand that holds the large bouquet of your favorite flowers is causing your hand to ache as it’s held up in the air. “I gotta find a vase for these.” You say, nodding your head over to the flowers in your hand. He nods, “I suppose you’re right.” He says with a chuckle, placing another quick kiss against your lips before releasing you.

You walk over into your kitchen, leaning on the counter and reaching up to pull open a cabinet. Grabbing a vase and turning around to the kitchen island where the sink was beginning to fill the vase up with water.

He leans over the opposite side of the kitchen island just watching your every move. As you begin to unwrap the flowers he got you, grabbing a pair of scissors to cut the stems, you look up at him. “So did you bring your ‘new shit’?” You tease, referring to his texts.

He laughs nodding and reaching one hand back into his back pocket, pulling out a heady bag of weed and placing it on the counter and shrugging. “Your offering ma’am.” He says with a wink. It has you giggling. You continue to cut the stems, squinting your eyes and looking at the bag skeptically with a smile “hmm…I’ll allow it.” You say in a fake prissy tone that has him laughing along with you.

You finish cutting the flowers, tossing the cut stems in the trash nearby and gathering the gorgeous blooms. you place the flowers in the vase. You step back and just stare at them, they’re your favorite yes- but it looks like each flower is pristine, in full bloom and the most vibrant it can be, like the hand picked each one out to create the best bouquet.

“Thank you again, they’re gorgeous…” You say with a smile, looking back over to him. You find him staring at you with his chin resting against his palm, elbow resting on the countertop. He’s looking at you with such a genuine, enamored gaze. “Of course, sweetheart. Someone like you deserves only the best.” He says with a wink.

You move around the counter next to him, mirroring how he leans over the counter. Your hands reach to the bag of weed on the counter and drag it towards you. You twirl it in your hands then turn to him. “So you gonna make good of your other promise and roll f’me?” You say, leaning closer to him, your noses practically touching. “You got it princess.” He mumbles, placing slow kiss on your lips. “Lead the way.” He says pulling away, a hand reaching back to slap your ass.

You giggle, spinning around to begin to lead him down the hall to your bedroom.

So there you found yourselves, in your room, laid out on your bed. He’s behind you, legs spread open leaving a perfect space for you to be. You’re leaned back between his legs, back against his chest, your legs crossed- holding up the rolling tray that’s covered in broken down weed.

His arms are around you, chin resting on your shoulder. His hands work to fill in the wrap with the weed. His fingers working a practice that has you mesmerized. The silver rings adorning his fingers reflect the distorted colors of the TV show you guys had playing. The veins of his hand pop out and you watch the way they move and flex with every movement he does.

From out of the corner of his eyes he sees you’re no longer watching the show, your eyes are locked on his hands as he begins to roll up the blunt.

You feel him chuckle, bringing you out of your trance. “You’re not even paying attention to the show.” He says before placing a quick kiss on your jaw. You giggle turning your head to place a proper kiss on his lips with a smile.

“‘M sorry, you have nice hands and they look really good rolling.” You say pulling away and looking down to watch him begin to roll up the blunt. He laughs, following your gaze.

He holds it up to you, the small section of the wrap not rolled sticks up out of the blunt. “Do the honors..” he says, nodding to the blunt. You look to him and smile, knowing exactly what he wants you to do. Your tongue darts out of your lips to run against the expanse of the wrap that was sticking up, wetting it.

As you do it you can feel his eyes on you, watching your mouth and tongue closely. He hums in approval as you finish, folding the flap over and sealing the blunt.

He takes the lighter from off of the rolling tray, flicking it and dragging the tip of the flame over the blunt, drying the part you licked and sealing it.

He transfers the blunt to one hand, the other wraps itself around you, caging you into him. He adjusts himself, leaning back more, guiding you with him to lay back on his chest. As he does it you can feel his cock drag against your back. You feel filthy about it, you can tell he’s not even hard, and all you’re thinking about is his dick against your back.

Your thoughts are cut short when you slowly start to feel the swelling of the start of an erection in his jeans. You sigh with a soft laugh thankful you’re not the only one who’s so worked up.

He nuzzles his cheek against your hair as his leans his arms forward more, lighting the blunt. You relax into him, he’s so warm, you think. Your eyes flick back to the TV, watching whatever was going on in the show as he takes the first hit.

The blunt is soon put infront of your lips, all you have to do is pick your head up the slightest bit. You wrap your lips around the blunt and inhale, leaning back on his chest as you blow the smoke upwards.

His hand that doesn’t hold the blunt moves under your shirt, his fingertips dancing along your the skin of your stomach in light motions.

He passes it back to you again, you repeat the same motions and take a slow inhale, exhaling the smoke in a slow plume of smoke. You can feel your body becoming lighter, a warmth rushing over your insides as your eyelids become heavy. “You really did bring the good shit.” You say with a laugh, your eyes rolling back to look at him behind you.

“I don’t lie about my product.” He says taking a hit himself, his hand traveling farther up your shirt and resting just under your bra, his thumb rubbing circles on the center of your sternum. You nod, can’t argue with that. “Glad you like it.” He adds, blowing out the smoke then placing a kiss on the top of your head.

His hips cant upwards, dragging his hardening cock along your back, you can’t help but to whine and try to grind your hips back onto him. His hand resting under your bra moves down your stomach and down your pubic bone. His fingers dance along your inner thighs as he places the blunt back in front of your face.

You take your hit, holding it in for a bit before releasing your breath. His hands inch inwards, his fingers dancing along your clothed cunt, ghosting over you in feather light touches that begins to make a bubbling warmth in your build in your lower stomach.

You bite your lip, holding in a moan as you jerk your hips into his touch. His palm rests on your pubic bone as his fingers rub up and down your pussy over the fabric of your clothes.

“Take your pants off, pretty.” He hums, hitting the blunt, watching as you quickly grip the waist band of your pants, lift your hips and pull them down and off your legs, throwing them to the side. You go to do the same thing with your panties when he stops you. “I didn’t say take those off.” He scolds. You whimper and nod, your bottom lip catching in your teeth as you settle back down.

His eyes train onto your panties. They’re lace with a cute little bow on the front. Similar to the ones you had on when he first met you. He smiles fondly at the memory, his hand returning to your lower stomach. His fingers dance along the lace top of your panties, gripping at the fabric and pulling up. It creates a delicious drag along your clit that has your head falling back against his chest.

He repeats the motion a couple times before letting the fabric go, his fingers moving further downwards to dance along your clit over your panties. He lets out a low laugh, feeling how wet your panties have already gotten, your arousal beginning to leak through the fabric. “Already so excited to see me…” he says.

You shiver, the way he says it you can tell he’s not talking to you- he’s talking to your pussy.

It has you whining and gyrating your hips against his hand. He slaps his hand against your cunt, each time his hand connects you jump.

You can’t take it, you quickly sit up, turning around on your knees to face fim, grabbing his shirt and pulling him into a kiss. It’s a mess of tongue and teeth as he kisses you back, his tongue exploring your mouth with a determination that has you spinning.

As the kiss continues to get more heated you feel him guide you backwards by your hips, the lit blunt hanging loosely between the fingers of his left hand. He guides you up, allowing both of you to sit up on your knees. He still towers over you, having to bend his back to lean and continue the kiss. His hands are all over you in a frenzy, yours soon following.

As your mouths move together, your hands run up his shirt, lightly scratching at his abdomen. He sighs into the kiss you can feel his stomach tense under your touch. When you move your back down his stomach and to the hem of his shirt, tugging at it, he pulls back- placing the blunt in his mouth and tilting it down. His hands grip the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it to the side of your room. He removes the blunt from his mouth and attaches his lips right back on yours

Your hands move along his bare chest and stomach, feeling all of him. The heat of his bare skin under your palms has you whining into the kiss. Soon he’s mimicking your motion, free hand crawling up your shirt to grope at your breasts over your bra.

This time you pull away, pulling your shirt over your head and reaching back to unhook your bra- attaching your lips right back on his in a rush. You can feel him chuckle into your mouth at your equal enthusiasm.

His hand returns to your chest, his hand splaying over the plush of your breast before kneading it. His fingers pinch at your nipple, pulling at it as he breaks away from the kiss. As he releases your nipple, he watches as your breast jiggles when it drops back into place.

His chest is heaving, his tongue wetting his lips as he looks you over. “You had no idea how bad I missed your lips…missed you.” He mumbles, his free hand not holding the still smoking blunt runs up your waist. It makes you shiver. “You could have come by sooner…” you pout.

He laughs, his hand coming up to cup your face “I know, I would if I could have. But I’m here now and you’re not getting rid of me.” You smile and lean into his hand, turning your face to kiss his palm.

As he watches you nuzzle into his palm, he lifts his other hand holding the blunt to his mouth and takes a long inhale. His hand on your face moves to the back of your neck, pulling you forward into an open mouth kiss, letting the smoke rain into your mouth. You inhale and melt into him, your hands finding purchase on his abdomen.

He pulls back from the kiss, smoke still swirling between your mouths when he feels your hands trail down his stomach and begin to work at the button of his pants. His hand that doesn’t hold the blunt catches your wrists. The size difference has you whimpering. His one hand is large enough to encase both your wrists, stopping you from getting what you wanted.

“As much as I love the way your mouth feels around my cock, tonight’s all about you sweet girl.” He hums, pushing you by the wrists so you sit back up on your knees, giving him enough space to mirror your position.

He raises from his sitting position on the bed to sitting on his knees, pulling you back forward by your wrists. Your breasts press against his chest, his hand still holding your wrists together and down in between the two of you. He brings his other hand up to his mouth, taking a long drag from the blunt.

In the low light of your room the cherry of the blunt burns a vibrant red-orange hue, lighting up his face in an upward light. He’s so handsome it’s downright sickening. You can’t help but stare. His eyes never stray from yours as he moves his hand back down to his side. He blows the smoke out. His eyes are hooded, tinged red and hazy.

He guides your hands up in front of his face, still held by his one hand. He places a gentle kiss on each of your palms before releasing your hands hand passing the blunt back to you.

You take the blunt- frozen. Your mouth hung open. “Hit it.” He says nodding to the blunt. When you don’t move he returns his hand to your one wrist and guides your own hand to your mouth. You finally hit the blunt, inhaling. “There you go…” he hums with a grin.

When you begin to blow out the smoke his hands grab your waist and spin you around, throwing you down onto your bed- head sinking into the plush pillows. You let out a squeak of surprise, your hand that holds the blunt lying limply out to your side, wrist quirked up so the lit end wouldn’t touch any of the fabric on your bed. He’s hovering over you, between your legs with a smirk.

He pulls back, sitting back on his heels, removing a black hair tie that’s around his wrist. In a quick moment, in motions that are practiced, his hair is put up in a small pony tail. It’s half up and half down, small hairs falling out around his face that refused to stay up in the elastic.

It was so fucking hot.

You must have been staring, mouth agape, because he laughs. He leans back down, hand cupping your face, holding your cheek to make you look at him. “That hot to you?” He says with a grin. You don’t answer, just looking at him with a doe eyed look that has his cock growing even more.

His hand taps your cheek a couple times, bringing you back out of your daze. “C’mon you’re a big girl, use your words.” He taunts, but you know it’s also an order as he returns his hand to cup your face and give your face a harsh squeeze.

“F-fuck yes it is…” you say with a smile, a breathless laugh and a nod, reaching up to his face and pulling him down to you. You kiss him with a fury, one that takes him off guard for a split second before he’s kissing you back with just as much fever. His teeth nip at your bottom lip, your mouth falling open in response. He sucks on your tongue in a dexterous manner. It has you whining into his mouth and arching your back off the bed, pressing your chest into him.

He laughs into the kiss, pulling away to begin leaving opened mouth kisses along your neck. His teeth leaving marks that blossom along your skin in his wake. He kisses down your chest, his mouth sucking purple bruises on the swell of one of your breasts while his hand reaches up to envelope the other one in his girl.

You’re helpless under him, a panting mess the feeling of his tongue along your skin only leaves your panties to become even wetter, beginning to stick to your cunt, the fabric several shades darker that what it’s supposed to be.

His warm mouth engulfs your nipple, tongue circling around it in a methodical pattern, teeth grazing over it every so often. When he feels your hips begin to thrust into the air, a desperate attempt for your cunt to get any sort of simulation, his own hips thrust into the mattress of your bed, rubbing his stiff, clothed cock against the plush bedding.

His teeth pull your nipple, letting it go with a ‘pop’ as he begins to kiss down your stomach. He stops when he gets to the top of your panties, pulling away to sit up and look at you.

He takes all of you in, his eyes moving over you slowly, looking over each one of the red bite marks and blooming purple bruises that litter your skin. His hands run up your waist, growling at how small you look under his grasp. His hands squeeze your waist as he speaks, “I’ve been thinking about the taste of your pussy since that time at the house party….” He says, his eyes still tracing over your body.

You can’t help but bite your lip at his words, your chest heaving with a large breath. “You know how fucking hard I had to beat my dick after I cleaned your cum off my fingers just to think straight again?” He admits through a hissing tone, his hands squeezing your waist hard enough to make you whine before letting up.

You look up at him with pleading eyes, your cunt practically making a pool on the sheets below you, coating your inner thighs in a shining mess. You open your mouth to respond but he cuts you off, “and I just know…” he drawls on, his hands returning down to your hips, gripping your panties, pulling the fabric away from your flesh, “that a cute thing like you has a perfect pussy to match.” He finishes, snapping the elastic back against your skin. It makes you jump and arch into him.

He laughs at your reaction, running his hands over the stinging skin to soothe it before he grips the fabric once again. This time, he pulls it down, you lift your hips off the bed to help him pull the lace down and over your ass. He laughs, watching as strings of your arousal that are connecting your cunt to your panties eventually snap.

When he pulls the cloth fully off of you he slides his hands up your thighs, slowly pushing them open, putting you on display for him.

He sucks in a breath and lets out a low, feral sounding growl, as he looks at your bare cunt for the first time. “Ohhh….” He coos, his hands massaging your thighs, “and I was right…look at you…” he hums, his eyes flicking up to look at your face. When he sees you’re not looking at him, but instead bashfully looking to the side, he leans forward, bringing one of his hands from your thigh up to face, “Look at me.” He demands, turning your head forward so you were forced to look at him, “There you are sweet girl…” he says when you meet his eyes. “Want you to watch.” He adds leaning in and placing a slow kiss on your lips.

You obey, watching him sink down and begin trailing soft kisses from your navel, down your stomach, down your pubic bone then placing one last kiss on your clit.

When his hands adjusted to wrap around your thighs and he licked his lips, getting his first taste of you tonight, he was in heaven. He’s on your pussy immediately, his tongue working over the expanse of your pussy with no real set motion- he was just tasting you.

He was eating you like a man starved, like the arousal you secreted was the water he needed to live. Like a man drunk on the finest, most expensive liquor, he was slurping you into his mouth with a newfound desire.

When his tongue enveloped your clit in a long flat stripe, you cry out for him, your knuckles turning white from the grip you had on your sheets. He begins to suck your clit in and out of his mouth, any time it passes the soft, plushness of his lips, his tongue was on it in languid flicks. It’s all so much, it has your body twitching with pleasure, your body trying to move back on the bed, like you’re trying to run from the pleasure he’s giving you.

“None of that.” He growls, pulling you back to him by your hips. “No running away.” He says, emphasizing his words by licking a wide stripe up your pussy. “I’ve waited too long to taste your fucking cunt, and I’m going to take my time with you.” He says, looking up at you from between your thighs. His eyes are shadowed by his lashes but the hungry glint in his eyes is impossible to miss. His large hands trail upward to the crease of your thighs, pushing them open.

He dives back in, like a man starved. His tongue circles your clit in slow movements. The slurping sounds he’s making is straight up pornographic. He’s dragging it out in an almost sadistic slowness, twisting his tongue in skilled figure eight motions along your clit. He pulls back, sucking your clit into his mouth before releasing it with an obscene ‘pop’ of his mouth. The motion has your back arching up like a cat, your hips desperately chasing his mouth.

He pushes you back down, his hands gripping at your thighs, leaving crescent shaped imprints where his fingernails dug into your flesh. “You’re wasting the blunt.” He says, a wicked grin on his face. You don’t even register what he’s saying, your eyes closed and your head thrown back. But the feeling of his heavenly tongue does not return, he’s not resuming.

You open your eyes and look down at him. He’s looking up at you like a snake ready to have its meal. “The blunt. You’re wasting it.” He repeats, nodding over to the blunt that hangs limply in your hand.

Oh the blunt. You completely forgot about it with the way his tongue was working against you. “I-“ your voice cracks, it’s shameful and you can do nothing to hide it. “I-It’s a little hard to hit it…” you manage to get out. He shrugs, resting his chin on your tummy. “And you’re wasting it.” He says simply, his grin widening.

You suck in a shuddering breath, bending your arm and bringing the blunt to your lips. He nods slowly. You wrap your lips around the blunt and begin to inhale.

His hands move under your legs, lifting your hips the slightest bit so he can wrap his hands around the tops of your plush thighs, yanking you down the bed and back onto his mouth. He resumes, his mouth enveloping your pussy in a shameless manner. You whine around the blunt, it’s a muffled sound that has him chuckling against you. The vibrations of his laugh only add to the sensations causing you to grind your hips onto his tongue.

He hums against you, watching you carefully as you exhale the smoke, your head falling backwards against the pillows. Your moans ring out through your bedroom, only making him more excited.

Your moans to him are like an instant drug rush, like a violent high that crashes into him- causing him to pull you into his tongue. And when his tongue pushes its way into your velvety walls, you cry out a wanton sound that has him humping your mattress.

You knew the drill- not wanting him to stop you bring your shakey hand to your mouth and take another drag of the blunt. The weed only causing the feeling of his tongue to become even more formidable.

Humming around your clit in approval, his tongue worked around you, lowering itself to your entrance and twisting around it teasingly. He tried to restrain himself, he really did, but the way you squeezed around the tip of his tongue had him diving straight into your cunt. You tasted like the sweetest honey- squeezing around his tongue in pulsing movements, dripping more and more of your essence onto his wet muscle. He moans into your pussy. His eyes rolling back into his head as he swears your cunt is sucking his tongue in, never wanting to let go.

You whine as he pulls away. Your pussy exposed to the cold air of the room. He stares down at your cunt, his mouth and chin glistening with your arousal.

His hands release his grip on your thighs, pulling themselves from under you and splaying themselves on your inner thighs. One of his hands removes itself from your thigh, rubbing along the entirety of your cunt. He’s truly just playing with you, watching as sticky webs of your wetness cling to his fingers and the lips of your pussy. Every movement making a raunchy squelching sound. And all you can do is just moan and writhe under him.

And his eyes are still trained on your cunt. His head turning and lowering, resting his cheek on your thigh, hot breath fanning against your pussy as he simply admires how wet you are. “Such a pretty pussy…” he mumbles, more to himself than you.

His thumbs rub along your labia, spreading the mess of your own arousal and his spit. You moan out suddenly when his thumbs spread you open. It’s shameful, and debauched. “So wet f’me, huh?” He says his eyes flicking back up to you. His hand lifting from you and spreading his ringed fingers, showing how your wetness webs between his fingers. You nod frantically, your hips bucking up into the air desperate for more simulation.

His eyes flick back down to your cunt, hands retuning to their spot, spreading you wide open for him. Watching as your pussy helplessly clenches around nothing, pupils dilating even more when he watches a thick trail of your wetness drip out of you. Thumbs still keeping your thighs back and cunt spread open, he dives back in, his tongue collecting the creamy bead of arousal on his tongue before licking up to your clit with a loud slurp. You cry out, your moans like a song to him.

He pulls back, making a show of swallowing. You’re embarrassed, being so spread out like this. His thumbs are massaging in and out of your opening, spreading you even more before removing themselves, repeating the motion over and over. Your thighs fight against his hands. He immediately lifts himself up more, pushing your legs back down in a harsh movement.

“You better fuckin’ keep your legs open.” He warns. You bite your lip and nod, your body twitching under his hold, but you keep your legs open. His hand slide back to your inner thighs, thumbs resuming their prior placement of spreading your cunt wide open for him. Your dripping hole and puffy clit on full display.

You watch as he sucks his teeth, purses his lips and spits directly on your cunt. You can’t help but let out an obscene whine, eyes rolling in to the back of your head. He’s back on your pussy in an instant, tongue moving around the entrance of your cunt before pushing back into your gummy walls.

You scream out in pleasure, your hands reaching down to grip at his scalp. When your fingernails scratch at his skin, pulling at his hair he moans into you, moving with more vigor.

He settles back intro the bed, arms going back under your thighs and wrapping his hands around them, pulling you impossibly closer to his mouth. He shakes his head in your cunt pulling back with his tongue lolled out of his mouth for breath. “Taste so fucking good…” he murmurs against your pussy, licking a stripe up the entirety of you for emphasis, pulling back again “Could eat you all fuckin’ day…”, he says his fingers reaching across your pubic bone and circling his fingers against your clit.

You cry out and twitch against his hand, you wanted to…no, needed to cum. You pull at his hair, trying to bring his mouth back onto your pussy but he resists. His eyes move from watching your pussy drip for him to watching your flushed face. “You know better than that…” he says in a low warning, the look on his face alone is enough to remind you of his earlier remarks.

Use your words

“Please N-Nam-Gyu”, you stutter out, “I need to cum. Please, your m-mouth, your f-fingers, any-Oh! Fuck!”you’re cut of when he replaces his still fingers with his mouth, his lips wrapping around your clit, tongue flicking at the sensitive bud in soft, fast motions. Your head falls back onto the pillows, your chest heaving with heavy, panting breaths.

The hand that was just playing with your clit slides off your thigh, his leaving a wet trail of your arousal around the flesh as he pulls his hand back. His fingers circle your entrance, two digits slip in easily. He moans against your clit as he feels the sweet, warm, grip of your cunt around his fingers. “So tight…” He murmurs against your clit.

His fingers work expertly, thrusting into you and curling up, the motion making lewd squelching sounds every time he was knuckles deep inside of you. His tongue never let up, switching between licking at your clit and sucking it into his mouth. “Squeezing’ my fingers so hard…” he words muffled by your cunt, “You gonna even be able to take my cock?” He mocks, scissoring his fingers inside you for emphasis. It has you moaning in pitch and tone that you didn’t even think you were capable of emitting.

His fingers switch back to the repetitive curling motion that has you seeing stars. When his fingers curl up in just the right way, you keen over, curling up and pressing his face into your cunt with a loud squeal “oh fuck! Right there!” You cry out, flopping back down onto the bed breathlessly.

He hums into your pussy, fingers never moving from where you needed them most. With every stroke of that soft spongy spot inside of you, you’re coming closer to your orgasm.

You feel like you can’t even think straight, your vision is hazy. All you can do is grind down onto his fingers and tongue. “You gonna cum on my tongue?” He says, looking up at you, his lips brushing against your clit as he speaks. “I can feel your squeezing my fingers. Gonna make a mess f’me?” He speaks against your cunt. You nod frantically, hips jerking violently against his tongue. “S-shit…” you cry through clenched teeth, it felt so fucking good, you bite your lip and manage to moan out a “Uh-huh,” as you feel yourself about to cum.

His pace speeds up, it’s a violent onslaught of pleasure that has you orgasm wracking through your body violently. You can hear your cum gush out of you, a pornographic, sloshing sound. He chuckles against you, quickly removing his fingers and replacing them with his mouth, his tongue working you through your orgasm, drinking up every last drop of your cum that gushes out of you.

You writhe against his face, twitching against the bed, your breath coming out in choked gasps. You have pull his head away by his hair to get him to stop. When you look down you whine, the view just has you ready to cum again right then.

His head is held up by your hands entangled in his dark hair, the ponytail he put his hair in was disheveled, his tongue was lolled out of his mouth, like he was trying to return to begging tongue deep in your pussy, his saliva and your cum dripping off the tip of his tongue and pooling in a sinful puddle on your pubic bone. He grins, his eyes hooded and pupils blown.

“You still with me, sweetheart?” He coos, his breath tickling your pussy causing you to twitch again. You nod, brushing his hair that has fallen out of the elastic tie, out of his face. “Mhm…felt so fuckin’ good.” You praise him. He smiles, his lips, chin, nose, and even his neck are coated in your cum.

He sits up, walking his hands up the bed on each side of you until he’s hovering over your face. “Want you to taste yourself.” He says as he lowers his face, kissing you without giving you time to respond. You moan into the kiss, tasting yourself own cum on his lips. Your hands come to cradle each side of his face, pulling I’m impossibly closer to you, your mouth opening to accept his tongue excitedly.

He adjusts himself so he’s back on his knees, his hands pulling your hips up onto his. Your back is lifted partially off the bed. He’s hunched over to continue kissing you, his jean clad erection beginning to grind into your pussy.

He continues his movements, moaning into your mouth. In his head he scolds himself, it’s shameful how much dry humping is effecting him. He swears he could cum in his pants then and there as he can feel the wetness of your pussy soak not only through his jeans but his boxers the longer he continues the slow grind of his hips into you.

He has to pull away, pulling away from you to stand up off the bed and rid himself of his pants and boxers. He’s back on the bed in an instant, slotting himself exactly where he just was. He pushes your thighs back, putting you on perfect display for him.

His cock rests heavy against your cunt. He draws his hips back, his hand holding the base of his dick as he slaps it once, twice, three times against your pussy. Each time you jump, your bottom lip becoming caught between your teeth as you whine, wanting more of him.

He’s doesn’t grant you that solace though instead he runs his cock through your folds, his fat cock-head bumping against your puffy clit. “You were squeezing the life out of my two fingers…” he muses, watching the way his cock splits your pussy lips open everytime he thrusts his hips forward. “It will be a miracle if my cock can fit inside you..” he hums with a condescending tone, the head of his dick just barely pressing into you before pulling back and resuming to rub against you.

You let out a soft moan , not being able to hold it in any more. “Hmm…” he moans “You sound so cute.” He praises, his eyes never straining from where you to meet. “I can take it. I will.” You say desperate, sitting up to look down to see his view. And when you do, you let out a wanton moan that has cock jumping.

“Yeah you will..” He lets out in a low rasp as he begins to push his cock into you. It’s a stretch that has you arching your back off the bed like a cat. When the fat head of his cock sinks all the way into you, you both let out a loud, blissful sigh.

Not even half way in and your pussy is milking his dick for all it’s worth. He shudders, beginning to think he might not even fit inside you if you’re squeezing him this hard. “Sweetheart…” he slurs, his eyes closed and eyebrows screwed together in concentration. “Ya’ gotta relax…you’re choking my dick.” He says in a strangled voice, sinking in just a bit more.

His eyes open to look down at where he’s sinking into your weeping pussy. His hand splaying on top of your pubic bone, his thumb reaching down to rub circles on your clit. A moan is forced out of you at the sensation, your cunt relaxing, causing him to slip in half way. Your moans come out and echo each other. Feeling half his cock being surrounded by your spasming tightness has him letting out a choked wine and falling over you, his hand catching himself, falling next to his head.

“You are so fucking tight.” He hisses, dropping down onto his elbow so he can lower his head to the crook of your neck. You can hear his labored breath tenfold now, his nose right under your ear. He draws his hips back, letting out a low moan as he feels how you squeeze around him- like your cunt is trying to suck him back in. He thrusts his hips back forward, sinking further into you.

You writhe against him, whining a pathetic mix of his name and pleading for him to just fuck you. When your hands remove themselves from gripping the sheets and reach up to wrap around his back, nails digging into his shoulders and your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his lower back- he drives his hips back once more, roughly thrusting his hips forward and finally bullying his cock balls deep into your cunt.

You let out a choked moan of his nails dragging down his back. You can hear him moan a low “Fuuuuckkk.” Before grinding his pelvis into your ass, basking in the feeling of being fully inside you.

You can’t help but pant out sharp rapid breaths, you feel so full. “Oh my god…” you whine out, eyes rolling to the back of your skull when he continues the slow grind of his hips. “Y-you’re s-so fucking b-big.” You sob out. He kisses your neck a few times before sitting back up. He watches how your lips are parted, eyes rolled back in your head, your chest heaving like it’s too much- but you still take it.

“I know, princess…I know..” he says with almost a chuckle at how you struggle to take him but you’re so set on doing so. He leans down to kiss you, you feebly kiss back as best you can even when you can’t stop moaning. He breaks the kiss, his forehead resting on yours as he draws his hips back and begins to set a brutal pace of hammering his cock into your cunt.

He keeps his forehead against yours, wanting to feel the way your breath jumps with each thrust. His bottom lip catches between his teeth when he feels your nails continue to rake down his back.

You manage to open your eyes for a brief second, the view above you is absolutely sinful. His hair has long since fallen out of the ponytail, the strands falling and framing his face and covering you in a shadow. The silver chain that hung around his neck dangled over you, swaying with each thrust of his hips. Your eyes dart to either side of you- to his arms that are planted on either side of your head. His biceps are large the muscles flexing. Tattoos litter his forearms and upper arms. You try to make a mental note to look at them later in more detail because you can hardly keep your eyes open- eventually losing the fight. Your eyes roll back as a loud moan falls from your lips as his cock continues to ruin your pussy.

He pushes himself up once more, leaning back to look down at your cunt. He growls under his breath when he sees the white ring of your arousal that is collecting at the base of his dick. He watches as he spears his thick dick into you. He thinks then that the sight of your cunt stretched open obscenely wide around his cock will forever be one of his favorite views.

His hands grip your hips, pulling you to meet every one of his harsh thrusts. It’s a force that has your bed creaking. You feel the warmth building in your lower abdomen, a white hot feeling expanding in the deepest parts of your cunt. Your moans only get louder and higher pitched, your hands reaching up to grope at your own tits.

When he sees this, his eyes “Nasty fuckin’ bitch…you’re close huh?” He says with a sadistic lilt to his voice. Hits one that has your eyebrows upturning into a desperate state, your head nodding, “Y-yes, fuck yes.” You whine out, your hips beginning to gyrate as he thrusts into you, never letting up.

He increases his pace. It’s a hot, sticky mess. You can hear it each time his balls slap against your ass. One hand removes itself from your hip, his fingers coming to play with your clit as he continues his brutal pace. He moans, his head thrown back in ecstasy as he feels you clench even harder around him.

“You gonna make a mess on my cock?” He asks, turning his head back down to look at you and your frantic nod. He watches as you try to speak but are cut off pathetically by your whines. “Do it, come on, pretty girl. Wanna feel you cum.” He says, his fingers working faster on your clit.

It doesn’t take long before you snap, letting out a high pitched, choked scream. You cum, and you cum hard. “Fuck! M’cumming….holy fuck!” You nearly screech, your back arching high off the bed, hips pushing down into him like you could never have him deep enough. He lets out a strangled moan as he feels you spasm around him, rocking his cock into you to allow you to ride out your orgasm.

When you come back to earth, he’s kissing around your face. “You okay? Did I break you?” He says, kissing the corner of your mouth. You giggle and reach up to hold his face, turning him to kiss you properly. “M’okay…was s’good.” You slur against his lips, still in the blissful aftermath of your orgasm.

He laughs “Well that’s good…” he says, it sounds like he’s going to say more but he doesn’t. He hums, pulling his still hard cock out of you. You shut your eyes and wince as he does, the emptiness feeling odd. When you open your eyes he’s sitting back on his heels, looking at his cock that was covered in your cum. You let out a soft whimper when you watch him begin to fist his dick, his wrist twisting up and down- using your cum and lube. “….because we’re not done.” He says, his eyes darting back to you, finally finishing his sentence.

Your eyes widen and you have no time to register before he’s manhandling you onto your hands and knees. His hand pressing your back into an arch.

He kneels behind you, his hands massaging the globes of your ass as he admires your position. One of his thumbs trail inwards, rubbing a light circle on your clit, it has you whining, jerking away from his touch. “‘M sensitive.” You plead, looking back at him over your shoulder.

“Oh I know..” he murmurs, his thumb repeating the motion, but this time you arch into his touch. He laughs, “but look, you’re still so needy…” he says tilting his head mockingly. He fists the base of his cock, rubbing it between your folds.

“All that time you spend dancing on me…grinding your ass back on me….” He lists, dragging his dick up and down, up and down, collecting your cum and arousal on the tip of his dick, “…what I was really thinking about was bending your over and fucking you from behind like the whore you are for me.” He growls, canting his hips forward in a brutal motions, sinking all the way into you.

You moan out into the pillow, eyes rolling back into your head. hands fisting the soft fabric, bunching it into your grip as if it will ground you.

His hips slam into you at a brutal pace, the backs of your thighs and his pelvis coated with your arousal. Every thrust makes a sticky sound and as he pulls back it connects your skin to his in white strings. You cry into the pillow, his cock stretching your pussy in ways you didn’t think was possible. “So fuckin messy..” he hisses, pulling you back on his cock to meet his thrusts.

He’s so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach “F-fuck…o-oh my god…” you whine out, hands reaching back, trying to push on his stomach, it was so much. He scoffs at your weak attempt, the scoff turning into a groan as he feels your nails rake down his stomach. Even though you try to push him away, your cunt pulls him back in a vice like grip.

You moan into the pillow, arching your back further as incoherent babbles of ‘more’ and ‘please’ fall from your lips, your hands still pushing him away in a conflicting battle. He was really fucking you stupid.

He grips both your wrists, crossing your arms behind your back and keeping them pinned there with one hand. He pulls you up, your shoulder blades touching his bare chest. His other hand comes up to grip your throat.

As he hooks his chin over your shoulder, he thrusts once more into your cunt, balls slapping against the plush of your ass before he stills, beginning to roll his hips in a slow, a deep grind. Your breath hitches, truly feeling all of him inside you.

“Look at that…..” He says his breath tickling your ear. “Taking all of me so well…” He says, squeezing your throat just a bit harder. “Every. Fuckin. Inch.” He growls out, punctuating every word with a thrust of his hips, bullying his cock even deeper into you.

“N-Nam-Gyu…h-holy shit.” You cry out, grinding your hips back into him, wanting more. He laughs at your desperation. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to fuck you….” He rasps. “Be inside this tight cunt..” He tightens his grip on your throat, just enough to cut off a bit of air.

You clench around him, the feeling cutting off his words. He falters, pulling you into him with a whine of his own. “Fucking Christ, you’re gonna kill me pretty girl…” he says, his lips attacking your neck, his hips resuming their movement.

He fucks up into you, your cunt making wet squelching sounds with each thrust. You can feel him moan and pant against your neck as his lips kiss along your jugular. His hand releases your neck and the other one, your wrists. His hands come up under your arms to run up your stomach and to your breasts.

His nose runs along your neck as he continues to fuck you. Every breath he takes, every groan that falls from his lips is right next to your ear. His hair that falls from the small ponytail tickles your shoulders. “I can feel you creamin’ all over me….so fucking wet.” He growls, his hands gripping at your tits, massaging the flesh as he continues to ruin your cunt.

It was all so, so, so much. It felt overwhelmingly good and his filthy praises only helped to make it so much better. Choked out whines and moans fall from your lips, you’re sure you’re drooling too. “All f’me huh?” He asks. You can’t even respond as his cock keeps hitting the soft spongy spot inside of your cunt that has you seeing stars.

He laughs at the lack of your response, his hands dropping your breasts and pushing you back down into the pillows by your waist. One of his hands immediately finds itself running up the back of your neck and entangling itself into a tight fist in your hair- shoving your face into the pillows as he slams his cock into you. “Awh c‘mon now…” he mocks, “I’ve hardly started and you’re already fucked stupid.” He says, his eyes trained on the way you throw your ass back to his pelvis in time with his thrusts.

He suddenly pulls out, one hand still in your hair- holding to cheek to the pillow, the other massaging the flesh of your ass. You whine at the loss of feeling, your cunt spasming around nothing desperately. “W-what…p-please!” You cry out, trying your best to turn to look at him.

He pouts, but it just as quickly turns into a wicked grin. “Thought I broke ya sweetheart. You couldn’t even answer me…not sure you can take it…” He teased, it’s evil, downright sadistic.

He removes his hand from your hair, sitting back on his heels. Both his hands are on your ass, squeezing and releasing the plush flesh before spreading you open to get a perfect view of your cunt. Red, puffy, and messy with arousal it’s a sight that makes his cock twitch.

“N-no! I can take it I swear!” You plead looking over your shoulder. You watch as he licks his lips while looking at your pussy then divert his gaze up to your face. “Then answer me.” He says demanding his answer.

Your lips part to answer but you’re cut off by his thumbs rubbing over the sides of your pussy, stopping at your clit to rub small circles, a moan coming out in place of an answer. “I guess I have to repeat myself…” he muses with a chuckle, “You’re this wet all for me, hm?” He repeats.

“Yes! All for you! F-fuck, s’all for you.” You whine, your hips pushing back into his hands. He laughs to himself, spreading your cunt wider, muttering an “I know.”, his smirk audible, before dipping his head lower and attaching his mouth to your cunt, tongue diving into your warm walls before removing itself to play with your clit.

Before you can even push your hips back he sits up, running one of his hands up the curve of your ass before resting on your hip. The other holds the base of his cock, running his weeping head along your pussy.

You arch your back further, trying to push yourself back into him. He sinks into you , but only a few inches before pulling out, repeating the motion a couple times as he watches your cunt hold the shape of his cock, stretched open, before clenching around nothing. “You want it so bad, huh?” He pouts in a condescending tone and you nod your head, whining each time his tip enters you, stretching you before pulling out.

“Please! Please! Oh my god, I need it.” You plead as he slowly sinks even more of his cock into you. It’s a slow pace, one that has you convulsing and mewling.

“I’ve dreamt of being in this sweet fucking cunt since I saw you….I’m going to make sure you feel every inch…” he says sinking into your weeping pussy just a bit more, “every vein,” he says pushing in even deeper, “going to ruin your cunt for anyone else who even thinks to try and get with you.” He growls out, sinking balls deep into you finally.

You grip the pillows, you’re sure you probably ripped the fabric. You cry out a wanton moan feeling so entirely full. His thrusts are brutal and he’s relentless.

When his hand reaches around and begins to play with your clit you can’t help but to desperately throw your hips back in time with his thrust. His other hand removes itself from your hip. “Go on now…” he urges, watching how you keep up the movements he ceased, fucking yourself back on to him “That’s it….fuck!” He growls out, watching each time your ass connects with his pelvis.

You can feel yourself getting closer to your third orgasm of the night and the feeling is overwhelming. You keep crying out, your hips moving back on his in sloppy, jittery movements. You wanted to cum again so bad but you just couldn’t without him brutally thrusting into your cunt.

He seems to realize this and he chuckles darkly, he replaces his one hand on your hip, the other dancing along your clit in patterns that have your body jerking against him. “Wanna cum so bad don’t you…” he coos, leaning over you, his hips beginning to rock softly into you.

You cry out, nodding into the pillows. “Poor thing….”, he chides, “can’t do it without me helping you, huh?” He says, his breath fanning over the back of your neck, lips dancing along the shell of your ear.

“P-please.” You whimpered out, trying to turn your neck to look at him. He smiles, your begging only spurring him on to increase the force of his thrusts. They become hard and slow, dragging the length of his cock slowly out of your cunt with a moan of his own. “F-fuck…please! N-nam-Guy, p-please!” You cry out.

That seems to do the trick. The wanton plan of your name has him groaning and sitting back up from hovering over you. His hips drive into you at a force that has you surging forward and your eyes rolling back.

You can hear the filthy squelching sound of your pussy each time he bullies his cock into your tight entrance. His fingers that were on your clit messily dragging your arousal around. “Come on princess. I can feel you squeezing me, need to feel you cum again.” He growls through gritted teeth.

All you can do is nod and cry, your orgasm creeping up over you in a large tidal wave that you have no hope of fighting off. When his cock starts to hammer the spot inside you that has you choking out a cry of his name, his fingers rapidly drawing circles on your clit, you break.

You cum with a loud moan of his name, your cunt spasming around him so tightly that he is hurled towards his own orgasm without warning. He lets out a gasping moan of your name, driving his hips into yours with one final thrust and cumming deep inside you.

The force of your own orgasm has you shaking around him, clear liquid evidence of your orgasm is forced out of you, coating his cock and pelvis with your cum.

He lets our strangled breaths as you milk his cock for everything he had, his hips rolling into yours softly as you both ride out your highs.

You feel so good but so weak, you’re sure you would have collapsed onto the bed in a boneless heap if it wasn’t for his arm around your midsection keeping you up.

You sigh as you feel him lean down and place kisses up your spine and up the back of your neck. “Did so good f’me.” He mumbles breathlessly against the back of your ear. “Mhm..” you whine in response, shivering against him.

He slowly pulls out of you, his arm staying wrapped under you to keep upright. You nearly sob at the feeling of his cock pulling out of your pussy and his cum that drips out of your red and puffy cunt.

You hear him hiss, watching it. He’s addicted. His fingers lift up, catching the trail of his cum drilling out of your cunt that threatens to drop to your sheets. Smearing it around your pussy, his fingers dipping in to your entrance to fuck the rest of it back into you with a few slow pumps.

You whine, so utterly overstimulated. He shushes you, “I know, sweet thing..”, he says pulling his fingers from you and leaning into place a kiss on your clit. “Couldn’t let you be so wasteful…” he murmurs against your pussy before pulling back.

He sits back up, leaning over you. “I’m gonna help you turn around okay?” He says softly, you nod weakly in response. He carefully pulls you onto your back and laying you down on the bed. You don’t even realize he departed from the bed and went to the bathroom for a towel before he’s wiping you both down, discarding the towel and returning back to the bed near to you.

“I really did a number on ya, huh?” He says, his elbow propped up on the pillow and his chin on his palm. You’re lying on your back, still haven’t moved from where he left you. You narrow your eyebrows and pout, a fake scowl. He laughs at your pathetic attempt at seeming mad, your laugh soon echoing his and it has his chest swelling with an electric warmth.

“Yeah ya did.” You admit shamelessly, turning on your side towards him looking up at him. He laughs, “Oh, I know.” He says proudly, making you laugh again. He throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you next to him.

He kisses your forehead, the arm around your shoulder pulling you closer. “I waited way too long for that.” You say, your head moving to rest on his chest. You can hear his heartbeat. It’s cute the way you hear it speed up when you nuzzle your head on his chest and begin to draw light patterns on his stomach.

He chuckles in response, “Well I suppose third times a charm.” He says, reaching down to pull the blankets that were piled up on the edge of your bed over the two of you- no way we’re both of yall getting up to get under the sheets and comforter.

You look up at him from your spot on his chest, a smile on your face. “And you’re staying the night? Oh what a gentleman.” You joke, cuddling closer into him. “Uh yeah…duh.” He says in a teasing tone, squeezing you into him, “and tomorrow, if you let me, I’d like to take you out to breakfast….or lunch…whenever we get up.” He says, with a small laugh, his arm now beginning to trace light shapes on your arm.

“Y-yeah I’d like that.” You say, you can’t even hide the smile in your words. “Good, now get some sleep. You’ll need it you’ll be sore in the morning.” You hit his chest at his words and he laughs, wrapping his other arm around you to cage you into him. He begins to pepper kisses along the top of your head and down to your face causing you to giggle. And he swears that’s your laugh is a sound he will never get tired of hearing.

Needless to say, you went to bed excited to see where you two went for food and what the future held for this odd partnership that was, very thankfully, catapulted into your life.

Thank you guys for all the support during this series. It is unbelievable how much love this got! I'm so excited to continue writing! I have a lot of ideas and things in the works and am so so so excited to share them with you all!!! my inbox is open for requests for one-shots or drabbles! much love <3 kiwi

Tag List: @heyitsayjayy , @chxrrybomb22 , @ziallgff , @ametheslime , @hornyfordaryldixon , @risingofjupiter , @h3artz4soph , @godly-sinsx , @gurofushi , @shad0wcast , @thearsonistrat , @sollum , @onmycloudyet , @matthewpatel4life , @tashiagalinda , @knxfesup , @skibidirizzzlerrr

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | six.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 10.1k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, sorry if i missed anything i had to quickly edit in order to get this out lol, san x oc finally talk a little more abt each other - family - friends, small affectionate gestures and kisses, yes we have finally made it my friends… the sleepover where we discuss neuroscience papers!!!! lmao jk 😭 was not lying abt the true crime aspect tho (i fear i know nothing else), san also opens up a bit more about iseul, making out, neck kisses, breast play, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some clit play i guess!!, aftercare, cuddles

You decide to go to dinner with San, but the decision comes incredibly last minute. You've paced around your studio, sat on your bed for hours, going back and forth between a simple yes or no. Until, you finally realized you truly didn't wanna miss out. You felt like you'd regret it if you didn't just go to see what it'd be like.

Harmless.

Eunchae and Jurin are gone for the weekend for other family commitments, but you still find yourself having to make up some sort of scenario for the boys in case they come barging in while you're getting ready. You tell them that you're spending the afternoon with your mom and that you'll be back later tonight in case they wanna come over and hang out. Boys being boys— they don't pry much and leave it at that.

You let out a breath just after you end the call with Jiung and set your phone aside, dabbing a bit more blush onto the apples of your cheeks. 

San told you to meet him at a restaurant that's very Nobu-esque, and you damn near dropped your phone when you pulled up the directions and saw pictures of the fancy interior. Even if you protested, he wouldn't let up— promising you that he'd take care of everything and that he just wanted you to have a good time with him. He asked once more if you were sure about driving, and you insist; just for the one time, to play things safe, to relieve yourself of the pressure of having to be with San in a car in case dinner doesn't pan out well [for whatever reason].

You are equally excited, nervous and terrified. Might feel a little queasy from the combo.

You run the lip gloss across your lips before pressing them together, spreading it across the surface. You check the time and pack your things into your purse, giving yourself a little bit of wiggle room for the 30-minute drive east to meet San. You check yourself in the mirror and dust yourself off, smoothing down the simple, black cami-strap dress you have on. Good thing you checked the restaurant's dress code on their website last night, or else, you might have walked into the place in something a little more casual.

Not classy. Elegant. Black and white attire only.

You run off to your car without being spotted by anybody you know. You did run into a few classmates and other familiar faces, but ones that won't even bat an eye as to why you're running across the lot in heels and a black dress. You get into your car and warm it up before turning up the heat, pulling up one of your playlists and sending San a text to let him know you're leaving campus. The drive isn't so bad when your playlist is hyping you up, along with the clear highways. You've gotta cross a bridge and pay the toll on your way back, but you don't mind; you feel a sense of relief wash over you being that you've gotten yourself this far from campus.

You knew people from campus weren't fond of coming to the east side. It tailored way too much to the wealthy, hence, San's choice for tonight's dinner.

The side streets are a little too busy in the downtown area, but you finally catch sight of the restaurant on the corner of an intersection; nestled underneath a modern, upscale 5-star hotel. When you pull into the lot, San is chatting it up with the valet. He laughs and you catch that smile of his, his dimples. He's in a black button up, and black slacks. The first two buttons of his shirt are undone, the silver chain hanging around his neck— sitting prettily across his collarbones. He points at your car and signals your arrival to the valet, the staff member immediately meeting you at the driver's side when you park in front of the booth.

"Your lady has arrived." The valet says, taking your hand in his before passing you along to San and getting into your car to park it in the lot.

"Hey beautiful." San takes your hand in his and smiles down at you adoringly. "How was the drive?"

"Good." You're barely able to maintain contact because of how shy and nervous you've become being around him. He can tell, though. He chuckles and gives your hand a gentle squeeze before reassuring you with a:

"Promise I'll take care of you tonight, okay? Don't get shy on me."

"Who said I was?"

"You can barely look me in the eye, Y/N." You look up at him and try to hold eye contact, but you shrink; subtly biting onto your lip and hiding behind him when the host greets him like he's known him forever. He walks through the restaurant, heading towards the private back patio. This section is closed off and by reservation only— your guess is that San bought out the patio for your enjoyment, to ease your nerves. And you're proven right when the host slides the back door open, and there's only one table draped in white linen in the middle of the garden. There's a candle in the middle of the table and a singular red rose on your plate, San deciding to forego the additional decorations and rose petals because he didn't wanna do too much for a first dinner. He just didn't wanna overwhelm you knowing you might already be, but he hopes you know he'd take care of you in all ways if you'd let him— the roses and candles being a glimpse into that.

"The waiter will be with you both shortly." The host does a curt bow before leaving you and San in the patio.

"Choi San." You look at and he cocks a brow, trying to prevent himself from smirking too big.

"Mhm?" He looks at you.

"Why did you buy out the whole patio?!"

"To keep you comfortable." He smiles, eyes roaming your figure and the way your dress hugs you so, so beautifully.

"San." You frown a bit. "You didn't have to spend all that just for me."

"Um, yeah. I did, sweetheart." He laughs. "I wanted to. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry tonight." You slowly sit in the high chair in front of him, taking the singular rose to your nose before smiling shyly at him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." His hands are clasped together, elbows resting on the table— his piercing eyes bore into you. "How was your day?"

"It was good. I didn't do much besides get ready for the evening. Had to tell the boys I was running off for the evening like Eunchae and Jurin." San nods and sips his water.

"Sorry love."

"For what?"

"For having you lie to your friends."

"They don't care much." You wave it off with a giggle. "How was your day?"

"Well, I was gonna hang out at Jongho's but someone told me they wanted to go to dinner last minute."

"Wonder who that could be?" You tease and he laughs a bit.

"Yeah, right? She's lucky she's cute." He teases back and the heat rises to your cheeks.

"Didn't mean to impose on your plans with the other Professor Choi."

"Never. I see him all the time, he won't mind if I leave him behind for an evening." You laugh.

"Touché." At this point, the waiter comes and sets down some complimentary edamame before taking orders. You decline any alcohol solely because of your drive home, and San follows suit. He proceeds to order the food for tonight after remembering you didn't have any specific allergies, giving him free range to order things he enjoys, but also knows you'd love. 

Wagyu.

Chef's choice omakase.

Other choices of nigiri, like toro. 

Uni tempura.

Squid pasta with garlic sauce.

Chilean seabass with dry miso.

It all comes out of San's mouth like the price tag is nonexistent, and you're internally screaming. How could he be so damn charming and suave? Let alone, this is how he spoils you for the first dinner?

"That's all." San smiles toothlessly before handing over the menus to the waiter. He licks his lips and shifts in his position as if he didn't just order a line of the most expensive items on the menu.

"San, this is gonna be so expensive. I can't accept this. Please let me at least pay for half."

"Uh, no. What did I tell you, Y/N? I'd take care of you tonight. I meant it. Just enjoy yourself for me." You sigh and tilt your head before playfully rolling your eyes.

"I can't with you."

"Yes, you can." He chuckles. "So, tell me."

"Hm?" You hum.

"About you."

"What about me?"

"I wanna know everything and anything about you." He gives you that look. "I wanna know what Miss Y/N is about outside of her CV." You snort at the comment, the reality of you being San's rotation student almost hitting you dead in the face until you decide to brush it off completely.

"Well, I'm the only child?" You say in a questioning tone, unsure of where to start. But, the conversation eventually flows on its own. You tell San about your mom being a single mom and how it's always been you two from the very beginning. You don't know much about your dad, but you don't mind talking about it if asked. It's not necessarily a sensitive or heavy topic for you; it's just unfortunate that you don't have anything to add simply because you don't know him. You have family nearby, but your family is small. You don't have cousins you're close to, your relatives are mostly middle-aged, older.  Your grandparents were around up until you were in high school, then they both died from illnesses that got to the best of them.

Then, that was that.

You and your mom— mostly you, doing things for your own and on your own while your mom continued to work tirelessly at the hospital to keep food on the table. Rent. Necessities. You worked a few jobs throughout school to help as much as possible, but your mom always told you to put your studies first and to never force yourself if your body was too tired, too overwhelmed. It felt hard for awhile because your mom was barely around. When she was, she was tired. You felt distant, almost like you couldn't be close to your mom regardless of how hard you tried. You didn't think you'd be able to build a better relationship with her until you moved away for college. When you finally had your own space and the distance in between, your relationship blossomed and she became your bestfriend. Then, you tell San how you feel the utmost pressure to make her proud because you're the only child, the only person she can rely on in the future. The only person who can also truly disappoint her, which you don't want. 

Though, you feel like you've already started wandering down that path.

You're slightly interrupted when the waiter comes to bring in half of the order, starting with the nigiri and chef's choice, setting it down in the middle of the table. You both thank him before he says he'll be right back with the rest, San giving you the priority and freedom to choose whichever you want to eat. When you start to dig in, you continue to tell San about your friends and how Jiung's been your longest friend since high school. Otherwise, there haven't been too many people you could call your close friends. You knew people, you socialized, but you weren't one to toss the 'close/good friend' term around unless you felt a genuine, real connection with someone. You do feel like you could say that for Felix, Eunchae and Jurin even though it hasn't been long since you've known them; you've clicked with them easily and well. You're grateful for it. 

The conversation switches to San's point of view now, and he begins with his family dynamics. He relates to the pressure of making his parents happy as the only child, but he likes to think he's done well for himself so far. He talks about school and how brutal it was for him and his friends— San had a great mentor, but it was hours and hours of clocking in with no endpoint. Days and days of just hustling to finish and make sure he was producing amazing work. You reassure him by telling him you think it's all paid off, adding a little dash of seasoning with your 'or else we wouldn't be here, right?' playful teasing. He touches up on Jongho and their longtime friendship, followed by Mingi, Yeosang, Christopher, and now, Namjoon. He does talk about how him and Yunho used to be bestfriends, inseparable even, but he doesn't go into the details of what went down between him and Iseul. 

You won't press him. You'll let him come to you when he's ready to open up about it. Even though San acts like he's fine and he's moved on [he has], you can only imagine how it feels to replay the entire situation in your head, with the two people you trusted and adored more than anything.

"So, yeah. Namjoon and I got close because he was really there for me throughout a lot of the stuff that's happened. Even just down to minuscule things for the lab, my classes— anything. He's always been there for us no matter how busy he is."

"That's good. I can tell Namjoon really cares about you guys and the students."

"He's a good guy. His wife is lucky." You laugh.

"Do you see your parents often?" You watch as San puts another helping of the pasta and fish on your plate.

"From time to time, yeah, when they're around. My dad still travels a lot for business. Even though he stopped teaching, he's on a few boards as a consultant and agrees to talk for conferences or symposiums all the time. Mom's retired so she joins along. What about you?"

"I try to see her when I can. She's worked as a nurse at this hospital all her life, basically." He nods. "So, do you and the guys all live near each other?"

"Uh, sorta? Namjoon lives a bit further down south, but Mingi, Yeosang, Chris and Jongho live in close proximity."

"When you're not at work, do you just hang out with each other?" 

"For the most part. We're not always together, though. We like having our own space." He laughs. "Mingi used to pop up randomly and I had to tell him to stop doing it so often."

"Aw, he just wants your company. Don't be mean."

"I'm not mean! I just like to have my peace. Mingi is everything but peace." You laugh.

"Your home must be nice for him to be barging in like that."

"It is. I take pride in it now, not gonna lie." He sips his water, eyes gazing at you from over the rim of his glass. "You know, you're always welcome at my place." You look at him and slowly nod, trying to let the statement sink in. None of it feels weird to you; in fact, it makes you more curious to know about San's personal life. His home. What it'd be like to be in his space, alone.

"I'll keep that in mind. Might have to take you up on that one day." He smirks a bit.

"Yeah? That's kinda nice to hear. Lets me know I didn't entirely blow this." You giggle.

"Not at all." He sits back in his chair, content and satisfied from tonight's meal. He sees that you've finished everything on your plate, your attention now on the garden to your left while you sip on your water. He can't even deny how attracted he is to you, and how he has this indescribable pull to you. You're beautiful, and from your interactions, the way you speak and carry yourself, the passion behind your work, the way you care about your friends and mom— you've got a good, comforting soul that could balance his own. Almost like Yin and Yang, Tui and La. "What?" You ask him all innocently and he's struggling. He can't even help the huge smile that grows on his face when he looks at you.

"Nothing." He runs his finger across his bottom lip. "You're just.. so beautiful."

"Thank you, San." You respond softly and he feels his heart melt. The waiter comes back with the check, in which San is quick to hand over his card before you can even get your hands on it. You give him a look and he laughs, shaking his head after playfully reminding you that he'd take care of you. 

"Any plans for the rest of the weekend, or next week?"

"Not really. I'll probably hang out with the boys while the girls are gone. Next week, I've got a lot of behavior to run for Sunwoo, things to prep for the class I'm TAing for." He nods.

"Always working so hard."

"Uh, yeah. Especially for you." You poke fun at him and laugh. "What about you?"

"Mm, I have to actually start prepping for the symposium because it's coming up."

"Do you have your talk ready to go?"

"Nah." He shrugs. "But, I will."

"Do you still get nervous for talks?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely."

"You look so natural when you're doing it, though. I wouldn't have expected it."

"I do. I get pretty nervous. Not as bad as before, I'm able to shake it off better now." He lets out a breath, the both of you popping the little coffee candy that came with the check.

"How bad was it before?"

"Hm." He hums and thinks about it for a second. "Right before my first lecture for the big neuroscience association conference, I almost threw up. I was so nauseated, was dry-heaving for a good minute before I could get myself together."

"What? I would have never guessed." 

"Took a lot to get used to it. Still getting used to it." He smiles brightly. "But, I'm glad you think so. At least I'm doing something right." He looks at the date on his phone. "Speaking of the neuroscience association conference, the next one is coming up. Did you and your friends register to go?"

"Me, Jiung and a few others, yeah. Felix, Eunchae, Jurin and everyone else is just going to go on the trip cause they know that's where everyone will be at."

"Can't disagree, it'll be party central for the neuroscience community." You laugh.

"Can't wait to experience it." You look at him. "Will you be busy during the entire duration of the conference?"

"Mm, yeah. I've got a few other commitments and meetings. Lots of colleagues I haven't seen in awhile will be there, so I'll be catching up with them. There's also another smaller conference nearby that I'll be speaking at upstate before I head back down for the main one." 

"Busy you."

"Maybe. I'll always have time for you, though." He winks and you laugh it off. At this point, San stands and stretches before reaching out his hand for you to grab. "Ready to go?"

"I am." You take his hand and stand in front, letting San pull you flush against his body; hands resting on the small of your back.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" His hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing the surface. Eyes examining your features closely. "Kinda wanna re-do the first kiss. Wanna do it right this time." You bite your lip and nod, eyes locked onto his lips as he leans forward. His lips meet you in a soft, tender kiss— one that isn't rushed, one that releases all your feelings into the universe, the galaxies. One that feels so natural, so meant to be.

One that gives you butterflies,

One that also unravels Pandora's box.

He holds the kiss for longer than expected, letting his lips mold into yours delicately. When he pulls away, he quickly reattaches his lips to yours; indulging in small sweet, repeated kisses before he kisses your forehead. He pulls back completely to look at you again, and he's admiring every inch of you from underneath the moon. You watch his jaw slightly tick, Adam's apple bob up and down; eyes full of desire. Need. Encompassing you, all of you.

"Hope you enjoyed dinner."

"I did, San. Thank you, again."

"No, thank you for joining me." He flashes you a cute, toothless smile before lacing his hand with yours. "Shall we? Do you want dessert or something?"

"I'm good, I'm stuffed. The food was so good." You pat your tummy as the both of you walk out of the restaurant and head towards valet, thanking the staff on your way out.

"Yeah, it was. Glad you're satisfied and happy." He presses a kiss to the surface of your hand just before greeting the valet. He runs to bring over your car first, parking it off to the side by the entrance to the lot to give you and San some time to say goodbye. San pops the driver's door open, allowing you to slide in while he hangs by the door. 

"Thank you again for tonight." You buckle your seat belt and look at him.

"Course. Drive safely, okay? Text me when you get home please."

"I will." 

"Good." He smirks before dipping down to give you another kiss on the lips. He shuts the door and gives you one last wave before walking towards his own car and letting you drive off. 

The butterflies that man gives you is insane. 

You can't even help but smile widely during the drive home, recounting each moment of the night and how you've quickly grown comfortable with San as a person. He's easy to talk to, easy to get along with.

Easy to be attracted to. Easy to be charmed by.

Easy to love.

You see it. You see why people love him and adore him, you see the bright aura he has. You see why people respect him.

You see yourself and him.

And the thought never leaves your mind once after that. You want San, just as he with you.

You head home alone that night, and the idea about being alone with San more— off campus, anywhere but there— becomes more and more enticing. It doesn't leave you for a few days, even while San is trying to give you the space to take things slowly. He's never pressured you into moving at a pace you didn't like, always gently touching you but never doing anything that would make you overwhelmed. Not only does he know you two have to be careful, but most importantly, he knows all of this is a lot. In general.

So, he sticks to the cute texts and phone calls.

Quick mini-meetings in his office in between commitments, especially during the rare moment of an empty basement. Quick hello's in said office that result in chaste kisses and you darting out before anyone can think twice about why you've been in Professor Choi's office twice [or thrice] in one day.

You do want to be alone with him more, though. You want to see what possibilities lie behind closed doors, the ways you both could show each other your feelings. You want to see where else this could take you two, how it could continue to grow. Where things could head once you two are alone in a space together, with no background noise. No outsiders.

you: are you in your office?

san: sure am!

"San?" You poke your head into his office before sliding in and locking the door. The basement was incredibly [and unusually] empty for a weekday, San's office door and the walls the only thing separating you two from each other.

"Hey." He smiles from his desk, immediately pushing his chair back so he can stand and pull you close. "Wasn't expecting a visit from you right now."

"Sorry." You pout a bit and he shakes his head before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "I should've asked if you were free first."

"Mm, well." He hums. "I've always got time for you, remember?" You giggle. "Is everything okay?"

"Kinda?"

"Kinda? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He sits back on the edge of his desk, hand pulling you towards him and slotting you in between his legs.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Mhm?" He says in a sing-song tone, curious about what you surprisingly popped in for.

"Can I come over?" His eyes widen a bit; not because he doesn't want you to, no. But because he's been dying to have you over. He's just been waiting until you seemed more ready to take that step.

"Tonight?" You nod, playing with his hands. "Of course you can." He pulls his hands away just to rest them behind your back. "Sure you wanna?"

"I do." He chuckles.

"I'll pick you up this time? Down the street from your building."

"Okay."

"Is that all that's been bothering you?"

"I just wasn't sure how to ask without seeming too eager, or desperate, or—"

"Hey." He laughs a bit, brushing your hair away from your face. "Never that. I've been wanting you over, but I wanted to wait until you seemed more comfortable." You relax in his hold and sink into his touch more, fingers threading through the ends of his hair.

"I wanna stay." You boldly let out, causing San to smile.

"You can stay. Whatever you want. Have more than enough room for you, sweetheart." He leans forward to meet you in a sweet, simple peck. "What time do you want me to come get you?"

"I should finish a few things before leaving."

"Just text me then, hm? I'll come whenever you're ready."

"Okay." You look at him before smirking. "That's all I wanted to talk about, Professor Choi." He chuckles, giving your side a good squeeze while biting his bottom lip.

"You're gonna be the death of me."

"Likewise." You playfully tap his nose before planting a kiss on his lips. "I'll text you later."

"Leaving already?" He pouts as you slowly pry yourself off of him because you're in his office. On campus grounds. You have to, even if you don't want to.

"I gotta get back to work, just like you do." You give him a look before waving by the door. "See you later."

"Mhm." He responds in a sing-song tone, crossing his arms tightly against his chest while he watches you walk out.

The butterflies you give him are insane.

After another long ass day of work and classes, you quickly grab dinner with your friends before rushing off to finish the rest of your assignments. You hop in a long, hot steamy shower— exfoliating and moisturizing like crazy. You strut around in your towel, throwing your toiletries into a huge bag, along with some clothes just in case. 

You can never go wrong with an emergency set of clothes and toiletries, right?

You send San a text to let him know you're about to be ready and throw on a lazy fit, feeling comfortable enough to not have to dress up for him during an occasion like this. It's a set of black wide-legged sweats and a cropped half-zip sweater, slipping into your platform Uggs for extra comfort. You step through your little cloud of perfume before grabbing your bag and heading out.

Ring, ring.

"Hey." You pick up the call, your eyes quickly scanning your surroundings. There isn't anyone in close proximity, but you still feel like someone might've caught onto the phone call coming through. Like someone could be listening, could be nearby, could be onto you.

"Where are you? I'm right outside the lot, leading into the residential street."

"I'm on my way. Someone might see you!"

"Y/N, I promise. No one's out here. This part of the street is pretty dead."

"Okay, but people coming in and out of the buildings?"

"I promise you it's fine and out of view. Hurry. I miss you." You roll your eyes when you hear the slight whine in his tone.

"Choi San, I swear." You mutter his name so lowly, paranoid of someone accidentally hearing you call your professor's name on the phone in passing.

"Mm, when you say my name like that, though." He wears a shit-eating smirk underneath the black mask he's wearing. Truthfully, he does look a little suspect hanging out in his car off to the side of the lot in a hat and black mask. He uses his second car, a Porsche Taycan, that he doesn't really take to campus— usually drives it when he wants to go for a drive down the highway by himself late at night, or when it's time to kick it with the boys. He's certain none of them are lingering around campus since they're always so quick to book it after their last meetings or classes. It's the best way he could conceal himself right now, he thinks.

It's all good.

"I'm coming out the side door. I'll be there in a second." You hastily hang up and tuck your phone in, feeling some kind of relief that you're almost at the stairs that'll lead you to the side—

"Yo!" Felix calls out with Jiung next to him. "Where are you going? We were just coming to bother you." He furrows his brows, eyes shifting to the huge tote bag you're carrying.

"I.. need to go to the lab."

"The lab? Now?" Jiung tilts his head. They're a little confused, but they're also not entirely surprised— people were in and out of the labs doing work at all times of the day. Some were night owls and preferred doing work late nights to avoid fighting over equipment and space during the day. It wasn't uncommon.

What is confusing is your large ass bag, though. For what?

"Yeah, I gotta check on one of the mice. The vet said they looked sick." Jiung and Felix nod as they take the lie. Again.

"Why are you bringing a big ass bag, though? Are you hauling the mice away or something?" Felix snorts.

"No, I have some supplies in here that I'm bringing over. We're building new behavior arenas now that the foundation of the rig is done." Felix shrugs.

"Oh, okay. Do you need us to walk you?"

"No!" You respond a bit too quickly that they're back to giving you weird, confused looks. "No— Sorry." You smile. "I'll be fine. I think Sunwoo has been there anyway. Thank you, though."

"Mm, okay then." Jiung shrugs. "Just let us know if you need us to come get you?" He pops another apple slice in his mouth.

"I will." You wave as you walk through the door and head down the steps in a hurry. 

"Was Y/N being a little weird or..?" Felix asks, but Jiung shrugs.

"Eh, she's probably a little overwhelmed or something." He turns down the hall. "Let's just go see what Eunchae is doing." 

You finally dart out the side door, doing a light jog over the grassy area and taking a shortcut towards the street that leads into the residential area from your building. You see San parked behind another car near the first house on the street, and San can see you making your way over through the rearview mirror. He smiles to himself when you near the car, pulling on the door handle to slide into the passenger's seat. His car smells like a mix of his air freshener, along with a hint of his cologne that you've slowly become obsessed with.

"Hey beautiful." He leans over the middle console and pulls down his mask. He puckers up his lips and it makes you giggle just as you lean in to give him what he wants. He doesn't pull back right away, no. Instead, he deepens the kiss and slips some tongue in, a shaky exhale released in between as his hand comes up to caress your cheek.

"Maybe we should leave." 

"Mhm." San teases as he continues to kiss you, smirking into the kiss. 

"San."

"Just one more." He chuckles before dipping forward and kissing you passionately again. You bite onto your bottom lip when he finally sits back in the driver's seat and rests his head against the headrest, admiring how cute you look in your leggings and hoodie. "You're cute."

"Stop." You giggle and shake your head. "Drive before someone sees us."

"Yes ma'am." He starts up the car and begins to drive to his destination. You're not really sure what to expect since it's your first time going to his place. You knew San was well off, but you didn't know what you were walking into— did he live in a modern, expensive ass apartment? Was it a penthouse? A regular single family home? You'll finally see why Mingi likes to barge in from time to time. "How was your day?" You're pulled out of your thoughts when he chimes in with the question.

"It was okay. I ran into Jiung and Felix as I was leaving." He leans against his window with one hand on the wheel, letting out a breathy laugh.

"Oh? How was that?"

"I don't know? I think they believed me. I said I was heading into lab." San shrugs.

"That's a good reason since it isn't uncommon. I'm sure it's fine, angel." He looks at you before returning his attention to the road in front of him. "It's pretty hot seeing you work so hard in my lab."

"Shut up, Professor Choi." He bites on his bottom lip before slipping his hand on your thigh. He gives it a good squeeze as he continues to drive in silence, the music softly filling the void in the car.

"Did you eat?" You nod.

"Mhm. Just grabbed something from the dining hall."

"Good."

"Did you?" He nods.

"Mhm. Just wanted to make sure you were okay, though."

"I am. Thank you." You watch as the surroundings pass you by while San takes you down towards another neighborhood near campus. A lot of other professors live closeby since the university has housing assistance for them as well. You just hope San's home is one of the select few that's isolated and isn't heavily populated with said group of professors.

When San pulls into his garage, you're a little surprised at the house. You're in awe because you wonder how San makes use of all this space living alone. It's a beautiful single family home, and you're sure the decision to buy this had come from Professor Lee when they had been married. You wonder if he still holds onto those memories, or why he didn't end up moving to another place. Perhaps—

"Y/N?" You snap out of it and turn to San, who has already parked the car and is unbuckling his seatbelt. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was spacing out."

"You sure you're okay?" He chuckles. The both of you step out of the car and head into the hallway that leads straight into his bar and kitchen area first. "I can practically hear you thinking, sweetheart." He kicks off his shoes and you follow suit, San waiting for you before walking deeper into his house. You look up at him and he gives you a small smile, holding out his hand for you to take. "Relax. You can ask me anything." He pulls you flush against him, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. "Okay?" He tilts your chin up and presses a kiss against your lips, which surely does put you at ease.

"I'm just curious about some stuff."

"Like?" You step into the living room and set your bag down on the couch temporarily. Your eyes roam around, scanning the sleek and simple decorations. It gives off a classy, modern look; room full of brown, white and black themes, wood hints.

"I'm not sure I know how to ask." You rub at your arms while San grabs two wine glasses from the cabinets and sets them down on the island counter.

"Ask away. I won't mind. I think I already know where you're going with it, anyway." You walk towards the island and rest your elbows against the marble countertop. "Is wine good, or do you want something else?"

"Wine is good." You pause, fully taking in what San is wearing as he continues to move around the kitchen. He's casually dressed in black Essentials sweats with a matching black tee. He sets his hat off to the side, running a hand through his soft, black hair. You think San is attractive during the day with his usual button-up top and slacks, but this— this was even more attractive to you and had you buckling at the knees the more you ogled at him. "Don't you get lonely being in this big house? I-I mean, you used to live here with her, right?" You chime in, hoping not to seem too spaced out and in your thoughts again.

"Mhm. I've gotten used to it, though." He says with a soft smile. "By the way, white or red?"

"White, if you have any please." He nods.

"I got you." He digs into his wine cooler beneath the island.

"Why didn't you wanna sell this and buy another house?" He shrugs.

"To be honest, I've thought about it. Every corner of this house used to remind me of her and I'd hate it." He pours wine into your glasses. "But, I really do love the house and the space it gives me. I just flipped it into something I'd be happy and comfortable with, and I've moved past all of that. It just feels like my space now."

"That's good. As long as you're okay. You decorated your home beautifully too, San."

"I am, yeah. Thank you, pretty girl." He smiles and comes around the corner to wrap his arms around you from behind. He kisses the back of your head as you relax in his hold, letting out a small exhale. "Is there anything else you're curious about?"

"Not right now." San chuckles a bit.

"Okay, well. I'll be ready for the next time." He kisses your temple. "Why don't you get comfy so we can relax and watch a movie? Sip on some wine, eat some cheese and crackers." You giggle and turn to face him in his hold.

"You're gonna prep some cheese and crackers, too?"

"Why not?" He chuckles. "Let me take you upstairs so you can get comfortable." You grab your things and take his hand, silently following San up to the second level of his home. There's a little loft that he's converted into a small gaming area— another smaller L-shaped sectional couch nestled against the walls with his gaming consoles on the shelf beneath the TV, board games neatly stacked away. There's a guest room to your right, his office to the left. You peek and find a large bookshelf covering the back wall behind his large desk and computer set up. "Here's my room." He takes you into his large master bedroom; sheets neatly made, large master bathroom off to the right corner of the room. "Bathroom's through there if you need anything." He looks at you. "Or, you can use the guest room if you feel more comfortable doing so."

"Thank you."

"Course. I'll be downstairs, okay?" He kisses you on the lips. You watch as he heads back downstairs to give you some privacy, returning your attention to the interior of his room. It's a little weird when you think that this used to be a space shared by Iseul— she'd be in here all the time, closet partially hers, bed shared with her. You brush off the thoughts and set your things aside before walking into his spotless bathroom to freshen up even though you just took a shower. San's got his own skincare, cologne and other hair products neatly organized off to the side. You complete your nightly routine for your skincare and slip into more appropriate pajamas in an effort to wind down and get cozy for bedtime. When you step out of the bathroom, you hear the tv echoing from downstairs, along with what sounds like San humming to a song. You head down the steps to see San setting up the last bits of his cute cheese and crackers display, wiping off the crumbs on his island counter. "Hey. You all good?"

"Mhm." You giggle, following him to the couch. You plop onto the open space just as San jogs back to bring over the wine he poured earlier. "What're we watching?"

"Good question." He says, flipping through the channels while sitting next to you and sipping on his wine. "Should we put on something cute or..?"

"Have you ever watched Worst Ex Ever?"

"Oh— ah, okay. So we're going the true crime route." You laugh and shake your head.

"I watched that, but I wanted to watch the other installment, Worst Roommate Ever." He nods and throws it on.

"Yeah, I'm all for it!" He kicks off the first episode and leans back against the couch, one arm draped over you from behind, giving you the opportunity to scoot closer to him.

As the episode continues, you find that San is actually really interested in these things— engaging in conversation about your thoughts, why certain events happened in the episode, motives, thought processes— you love how he carries the conversation with you. You enjoy watching the show a little too much with him that time seems to fly right on by despite the hour-long episodes. You'd laugh and giggle when San pouts and whines when he's guessed wrong, resulting in you two sharing cute, little intimate kisses in between. After you both finish your wine and go through most of his charcuterie board, you snuggle up closer to San. You've got your legs folded up on the couch, with San's hand grazing your thigh every time he dips forward for a kiss. You've gone through 2 and a half episodes before you're yawning and giving San tired eyes, so he pauses the show; hand gently rubbing at your thigh.

"Tired?" You nod.

"Kinda tired, yeah." He chuckles and shuts off the TV.

"Let's get upstairs then." You help him clean up the wine glasses and the board even though he insisted he had everything under control. But, as he steps back and takes a moment to watch you rinse out the dishes and load them into the dishwasher, he finds his heart skipping a few beats. He likes seeing this; he likes seeing you, in his kitchen, as if you were always meant to be in this home. With him. It just felt so.. natural and domestic. It's been so long since he's genuinely felt that way. You give him a small smile when you've finished, beginning to climb up the steps as San shuts off his lights and makes sure all the doors are locked. You head into his room and start to brush your teeth, San following suit next to you. You don't even think twice about the whole thing, even as you walk towards his bed with him. He pulls back the covers and you slide in, staring at the ceiling above while he cozies up to you.

"San."

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm ready to ask the next question. But, you don't have to answer if you don't want to." You turn towards him and lay on your stomach. He chuckles a bit and brushes your hair back, reassuring you to continue on. You said you'd wait for him to open up, but you couldn't help it— you were curious, and you felt like you were getting deeper into this thing with San. Maybe it was time.

"I'll answer, but I might not go into detail. How about that?" He already knows where this is going. And with you, he wants to be as transparent as possible without having to relive that part of his life again. Despite his feelings for you, he still needs to hold space for himself especially with that aspect. He doesn't wanna undo the work he's done on himself.

"Okay."

"Go for it, angel."

"What was your relationship like with her?" He lets out a breath as he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow propped up on the pillow. 

"Mm, well. I'd say it was good until she realized it wasn't me she wanted this entire time. We were one of those couples who moved quickly and unfortunately, it just didn't work out well for us at all. We ended just as quickly as we blossomed." You look at him.

"So, when did you meet and when did everything happen?"

"We met in grad school. We started going out maybe a year after we had met and been good friends. Me, her and Yunho were always together. Another year after that, we're married. Things were good even though things were moving fast. Parents liked each other, we bought this house. It felt like things were falling into place. We were doing a lot of 'future' talks, even thought about kids at one point." You continue to listen intently while San goes on, his hand tracing faint shapes on your clothed back. "But then, the postdoc years happened. We were both busy, but me especially. I hadn't realized it then, but I was putting work and the lab before anything and anyone else. I kinda can't even blame her for acting the way she did because I should've paid more attention to her as her husband."

"You can't blame yourself, San." 

"I don't." He smiles a bit. "Not anymore, at least. In general, I should've just paid more attention." He lets out a small sigh. "I knew her and Yunho had gotten close so I didn't think much of it when I started to see them hanging out more without me, or starting things without me. The busier I got, the more she leaned on Yunho. He was there for her when I wasn't. That's what she wanted and needed the most, and he was there to provide that for her. He was able to." 

"Did she ever talk to you about it?"

"She was the type who couldn't communicate well. She'd harbor everything until that one thing triggers her and makes her blow up." You nod. "Whenever I felt tension or whenever I felt her being off, I'd ask, and her response was always 'i'm just tired' or 'too many things going on with my project, it's overwhelming.' There were only a few occasions when she told me she felt like I wasn't there for her enough. I wanted to fix it, but she brushed it off and said it was fine, that this was just our life together." San shakes his head. "Not once did I ever wanna give up on her. I wanted to fix it. I tried everything to be better for her, but I was too late, I guess. I found out about her and Yunho seeing each other behind my back, I called the divorce. She tried running back a few times but we'd always end up worse than the last time. We'd yell, we'd argue. I'd be hurt all over again, re-opening that same wound over and over again. Had me thinking I had a chance to actually fix us, only to be shot down. Then later, her and Yunho eloped and got married."

"Fuck." You mutter. "Sorry— I just, I don't even know what to say."

"The worst part is that she blamed me and painted me to be the bad guy. It got so toxic, it really messed me up. She would tell people this false narrative that I always fought with her and that I was unfair. My priorities were everywhere. She told people she properly broke it off before seeing Yunho when that wasn't the case. I dunno why she said and did all those things. Maybe she was angry at me for not trying the way Yunho did? Maybe she just hated me?"

"You and Yunho are two very different people, and you did try to fix it. She just wanted to be a brat about it. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too." You frown. "I'm sorry, San."

"For what, baby?" He laughs a bit. "It is what it is, it happened and I'm past it."

"Yeah, but still." You play with his hair. "What was Yunho doing in all of this?"

"Denying the affair even though I caught them. He kept trying to apologize but there was always a 'but.' I mean, what else can he do? That's his girl so he's going with it."

"Sick." You sigh. "Can't believe them. They don't deserve you anyway."

"You're right. They don't. I have my people by my side." He taps the tip of your nose. "Now, you."

"You do have me." You lay your head down on the pillow while looking at him.

"I do?" He teasingly leans forward, inches away from your lips.

"Mhm."

"Good. That's all I need." His eyes shift down to your lips briefly before shifting back up to you. "Is there anything else you wanna ask?"

"Hm. Do you really mean that?"

"What? That you're all I need?" You nod. "I don't lie. Ever." He chuckles, caressing your cheek sweetly.

"Just kinda hard to believe hearing it from you."

"That's okay. I mean—" He whispers, pressing light, feathery kisses to your cheeks, corner of your lips. "I can show you instead, if you'd let me?"

"Show me." You whisper back, tilting your head back to give San more access to your neck, to you. One second, he's kissing up on your neck with your hands tangled in the ends of his hair; the next, your tongues are fighting for dominance in a heated kiss. Everything feels so calculated, so full of genuine emotion and desire. San's hands travel up your shirt, massaging your breasts before letting his thumb play around with your nipples. You let out a breathy moan in between kisses, back arching in response to his touch. He carefully removes your shirt and tosses it aside, mouth now latching onto one hardened bud. His tongue flicks around, working in circular motions before pulling back with a pop— earning a louder moan to slip from your lips, goosebumps rising on your skin. He repeats the motions on the other, taking his time to lick and suck around your nipple before pulling back. 

San is quick to reattach his lips to yours; this kiss holding more fervor, more intensity, as his hand slides down to completely slide your bottoms off. You work to remove his shirt, the both of you bare in a matter of seconds.

Clothes littering his bedside.

He tries not to break the kiss, even as he crawls on top of you, fingers dipping into your heat and in between your folds to get a sense of how wet you already are. 

"Oh my god." You cry. San's cock is painfully hard, hitting your thigh while he continues to pepper your jaw, neck, with kisses.

"Can I have you, baby?" He whispers in your ear. 

"Y-yes." You can barely make out from the overwhelming desire, excitement. Thrill.

This was actually happening.

San hovers slightly to slide his nightstand drawer out, but you stop him before he can grab a condom. 

"I'm on the IUD." You shake your head. "Don't need it."

"You sure?" He asks once more for final confirmation, and you give it to him with a nod. He pauses, eyes skimming through your features again before pecking you on the lips, hand coming down to stroke his length. You drool at the sight, admiring how perfectly long and thick he is. He smirks, tapping his heavy cock against your pussy a few times. 

Just to be a fucking tease.

He starts slow— pressing his cock in between your folds, gliding up and down. 

"Mm— god." He huffs. "You feel perfect already." San watches the way your eyes roll back, mouth open as you let out small whines and whimpers at the feeling. He nudges your clit with his tip as he continues to slide up and down, earning a loud mewl to release from your lips. His other hand is now gripping your jaw to force you to maintain eye contact with him— it's not a harsh grip, but it's enough to keep you clenching around nothing. Enough to keep you writhing for more underneath him. He rubs the tip against your sensitive nub directly, another shaky moan releasing from your lips. 

"Fuck, San." You hiss, feeling the pleasure build right at your core with the way he's rubbing against you; legs cocked all the way open for him.

"So beautiful. Think I can make you cum like this, angel?" You take your hand and wrap it around his base, letting him thrust into your hand as he continues his movements between your folds. "Feels so fucking good. Can't even imagine how you'd feel wrapped around me. Hm?" He hums, head kicking back in pleasure while trying to maintain his composure. Because fuck, he can feel himself dangerously close to the edge, but he's hanging on so he can feel you— all of you.

"San, San— oh god, San." You cry repeatedly, feeling your clit ready to explode. His tip is hitting it at the right pace, hitting you in all the right spots at the right pace. You move your hips upward, grinding into his length as he continues; mouth slacked open from the overwhelming pleasure. "You're gonna make me cum." 

"Yeah? Use me. Wanna see how pretty you look when you cum." He stills and watches as you use his cock to reach your first orgasm of the night, pressing him down with the right pressure onto your heat as you grind at a quicker pace— finally toppling over the edge. His eyes glow when he watches your mouth slack open from the silent moan you release, hands coming down to ease your twitching body. "God, you're perfect." He presses feathery kisses across your jaw, chin.

Neck.

Coming right below to your sweet spot below the ear.

"Ready for me?" He asks near your ear, gently nibbling your earlobe and giving you chaste kisses on said sweet spot. You nod, giving him the green light to move further. He lines himself at your entrance before gently pushing himself in, loud moans escaping the more he buries himself to the hilt. "Baaaby." San's moan drags out as he eases himself into you. "Shit, you're so tight." He slowly pumps in and out, eyes glued to his cock as you coat it with your slickness. "Feeling okay?"

"Mhm. Feels so full." You almost whine. His hands are now pressed onto your inner thighs to make sure you keep yourself open for him. He rolls his hips into you as he hovers over your body and locks you into another kiss. He doesn't waste any time picking up his pace, the way you whine and beg, beg and whine— it drives him crazy. 

"Take me. You can do it, sweetheart." His thumb presses down on your bottom lip, tongue licking into your mouth just as he devours you in a sloppy, wet kiss. You let out a strangled, lewd moan when he starts pounding into you harder, deeper; sounds of skin slapping against skin bouncing off the walls. Pussy squelching. San's name being repeated like a song, a mantra.

The noise is nothing short of pornographic.

"Please. More. Give it to me." You plead. "Feels too good."

"Shit— Y/N, jesus fucking christ." San groans when he slowly pulls out just to the tip, creamy mess lathering the top of his dick like icing. "Gonna make me cum." He pounds back into you at an angle where he can reach all your spots. He lowers himself back down to kiss you, fucking into you while expertly rubbing away at your aching clit.

San is so, so good.

"Want you to cum in me, San."

"Yeah? You did so well for me, baby. I'll fill you up real good. Just how you want it."' After two, three more hard thrusts, you find yourself unraveling for the second time. And this time, it comes crashing down harder, your walls squeezing and constricting around him. You're digging your nails deep into San's back, moaning into his mouth as he continues to chase his high. "I'm cumming— fuck." He lets out a loud, breathy moan as he stills; milking every last bit of himself into you. He buries himself in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses to the surface before coming up to kiss you softly on the lips. "You okay, baby?" He smiles.

"Mhm." He presses a few more repeated, tender kisses to your lips before running off to the bathroom to help clean you up. You lay back on your tummy as San slips himself back under the sheets, sitting back against the headboard. He sighs, black glasses perched on his nose while the sheets are pulled up to his hips. You watch as he pulls his laptop and sits it on his lap before typing away, letting out a small giggle at the way he's working.

"Do you always work naked like that? Especially after what just happened?" You tease. San smirks before giving your head a playful but gentle rub.

"Only if you're around."

"You're sick." He laughs.

"Why, is it distracting?" You giggle and shake your head, shoving your face further down into the pillow to avoid eye contact.

"No." You mumble into the pillow. 

"Then, why can't you look at me?" You peek from the pillow, catching San looking straight down at you with a small smile on his face. "Gotta beg for a kiss, too?" You roll your eyes and shift upwards to give him a peck on the lips before sinking back down into the sheets. "Good girl."

"In all seriousness though, do you always have a ton of work to catch up on at night?"

"Mm, I just prefer to catch up on things at night. Sometimes, it's easier to get through it when I'm winding down." He lets out a small sigh as he continues to scroll through his inbox and reply to a few emails. He also needs to work on some more grant-related things that he's been kinda putting off. "No biggie, though." He looks at you. "Getting sleepy now?"

"A bit. Good thing I caught up on everything before leaving."

"How'd you know you'd be busy?" He laughs a bit.

"You're so annoying. Plus, I'd rather not do my homework around you."

"Why? I can be of help."

"No, Professor Choi. Leave me to my own work." You mutter as you turn the other way and shut your eyes for a little longer. San lets out a small laugh before typing away on his laptop. It isn't long before you've stopped moving and he hears your soft breathing against the pillow, causing him to smile to himself. He leans over to press a kiss against your head, whispering a quick 'goodnight beautiful' before resuming his work. He works for another 15 minutes before he feels exhaustion taking over his body. He shuts off his laptop and sets it aside, snuggling under the covers and pulling you close as he quickly drifts off to sleep with you in his arms.

When the next morning comes, you wake up from the best sleep you've had in awhile. The sheets are keeping you warm and cozy, the mattress feels perfect against your body— everything feels perfect, except there's no San and you're yearning for him already.

You've barely been awake and all you want is San.

Luckily for you, you hear his footsteps as he comes up the steps right at that moment. When he turns into the room, he's already dressed in today's attire: a cream-colored long-sleeve henley top and jeans.

"Hey." San sits on the edge of the bed and runs his soft hand up and down your bare back. You look at him lazily, threatening to fall back asleep with the way his fingers lightly run across the surface.

"Hi." You look at him sweetly and he feels his heart melt. He could get used to this.

"Going back to sleep?"

"Mm." You stretch a bit and sit up, grabbing the covers to shield your naked body. "I should probably get up and get ready to head back."

"Do you have to?" He whines.

"Yes." You giggle. "My friends are probably gonna try and bother me before class. And in case you've forgotten, sir, I have to help Sunwoo fix the 2P for our work in your lab."

"Sexy."

"You're too much." You tease, making San chuckle. "Do you have meetings in between class today?"

"Mm, yeah. A few. I have to meet with Chris and Jongho about this ongoing collaboration discussion and some last minute symposium things, then I have to meet with some donors."

"Goodluck."

"Thank you, baby." He caresses your chin before kissing your forehead. "Come downstairs when you're done getting ready."

"Okay." You stretch as San heads to his office really quickly before heading back down to the kitchen. You strut to bathroom to wash up and get ready for your day, throwing on the same outfit you had on when San picked you up. After gathering your things and fixing San's bed, you head downstairs and find that San's got a cup of coffee and a breakfast plate fixed for you. He's standing near the counter, sipping his coffee while scrolling through his phone.

"Breakfast?" He smiles at you before wrapping an arm around you, pulling you in for kiss.

"Thank you."

Even though things feel too good to be true, you could definitely get used to this.

—read 6.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension

[ryuunchi]

Good Luck! Babe

Through memories of your shared past and the choices that drove you apart, Jotaro wrestles with the reality of what he lost.

In honor, good luck babe being my number one song in my spotify wrapped (btw how's your spotify wrapped guys)

Jotaro Kujo x Reader

It was the dead of night, the kind where the world felt impossibly still. Jotaro Kujo shifted restlessly under the covers, the weight of unspoken thoughts anchoring him in place. He turned from one side to the other, brow furrowing as the pale moonlight seeped through the curtains. Eventually, he gave in to the restless pull, slipping out of bed with a grace that belied his towering frame.

Out on the balcony, the night air was sharp against his skin, the distant sounds of waves crashing faintly against the shore. He lit a cigarette, the flicker of the lighter illuminating his features for a brief moment. His eyes caught the glint of his wedding ring, a faint frown tugging at his lips. "Even with time on my side, I can't stop the feeling," he muttered under his breath.

The box was where he'd left it, tucked away in his study, untouched for years. He opened it carefully, his movements almost reverent, as if disturbing it too quickly would unleash memories too vivid to bear. Photographs, trinkets, and old letters spilled out, a chaotic time capsule of his youth. His hand paused over a photo, the edges worn from handling. The sight of you, smiling beside him, sent him spiraling down memory lane.

Flashback

You had been a constant in his life, back in the playground when you first met him when no one else dared approach the brooding boy with the sharp gaze and sharper tongue. But you did. You'd plop down beside him, your unshakable cheer dissolving the walls he built.

As the both of you reach high school, "You can say that we are nothing," he'd grumble in annoyance, brushing off the teasing remarks from his classmates who swore you two were a thing. But deep down, Jotaro knew the truth.

In Egypt, things changed. What started as a journey to save his mother took on a different weight when you joined the team. Watching you leap headfirst into danger, driven by your own sense of justice, terrified him. The day you scraped your knee during a battle, he lost it. His fists clenched with a fury that sent his Stand charging forward, obliterating the enemy Stand user with a vengeance that startled even Joseph.

"We're just friends," he insisted to the others, but the way his hands shook when he bandaged your wound told a different story.

Then came the final battle. The sight of you lying on the ground, blood pooling beneath you, nearly stopped his heart. You barely survived, pushing through with sheer stubbornness, but it was then Jotaro knew. He had always loved you. And that was the problem.

After everything, he distanced himself, convinced that his presence only brought you danger. College was his excuse to put a continent between you. You reached out, of course through calls, letters, and even showing up unexpectedly, but he just turned away it every time.

When he married someone else years later, it was out of desperation to escape the ghost of what you two had been. But even then, he couldn't stop the memories.

---------

Back in the Present

The photo slipped from his fingers, landing softly among the other relics of his past. The cigarette burned low in his hand as he sighed, staring out into the dark horizon. He thought of you, wherever you were now, and the bittersweet ache he couldn't shake.

"You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling," he murmured, a hollow chuckle escaping his lips. Not even Star Platinum could stop his feelings on you from his heart.

And maybe that was the cruelest irony of all. He'd built walls, married someone else, and tried to move on. But no matter how many girls he kissed in bars, no matter how many shots he took to drown the feeling, he can never outrun it.

"Good luck, babe," he whispered to the night. "Well, good luck."

The cigarette burned to its end, the ash falling unceremoniously as Jotaro crushed it out against the balcony railing. He lingered, staring into the darkness as if the night might answer the questions gnawing at him. Did I make the right choice? He glanced at his wedding ring again, the cool metal feeling heavier than it ever had.

But the truth? No matter how far he ran, the memories stayed, as another memory flashes in his mind.

You weren't just a chapter in his story, you were the whole damned book. From those childhood afternoons spent on his bedroom floor, piecing together puzzles or fighting over which cassette to play, to the late nights in Egypt where exhaustion blurred into comfortable silence. You were always there.

And you were always too much. Too bright, too stubborn, too willing to throw yourself into danger for people you loved. Like him.

The final fight against Dio had cemented everything. You'd been hit hard, blood pouring from a wound too close to your heart. Jotaro's entire world had tunneled to that moment, his mind screamed at him to stop time, to fix it, to change fate. But not even his stand could undo what had already been done.

"Don't cry, Jojo," you had whispered through labored breaths, the edges of a smile still clinging to your lips. "I'll be fine. Just... stop looking so damn serious all the time."

You survived, barely. But the scar left behind wasn't just on your body.

The sound of soft footsteps behind him pulled him from his thoughts. His wife stood in the doorway, her sleepy eyes narrowing as she took in his hunched posture.

"You're thinking about her again," she said, not as an accusation, but as a quiet fact.

He didn't deny it. He couldn't.

"You're a fool, Jotaro," she added, arms crossing as she leaned against the doorframe. "You've spent your whole life running from something you'll never escape."

He turned to face her, his expression unreadable as always. "It's not that simple."

She tilted her head, a small, sad smile playing on her lips. It is. You're just too stubborn to admit it.

Meanwhile...

Across the city, you sat at a bar, a glass of something strong in your hand. The years had been kind and unkind in equal measure. You'd moved on—or at least, you'd tried. A few relationships, a few heartbreaks, and still, the ache of Jotaro lingered like a phantom limb.

The bartender passed by, raising an eyebrow at the far-off look in your eyes. Another round?

You shook your head, laughing softly to yourself. No, I think I'm done chasing ghosts for the night.

Still, the memories surfaced, unbidden. His smirk. The way his eyes softened when he thought no one was looking. The way he held you after that fight, whispering apologies that didn't make sense until years later.

"You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling," you muttered to yourself, swirling the last of your drink. It was true, wasn't it? Even after all this time.

------------

Back on the balcony, Jotaro stared at the horizon, the first light of dawn breaking over the ocean. He knew he couldn't turn back time, couldn't rewrite the choices he'd made. But a part of him wondered if it wasn't too late to rewrite the future.

For once, he didn't crush the thought before it could take root. Instead, he let it linger, like a spark waiting to catch fire.

Morioh, Years Later

Years passed, and the tides of Jotaro's life shifted. His marriage unraveled slowly but steadily, the cracks growing too wide to repair. Perhaps it had always been doomed a relationship built on avoidance rather than love. By the time the divorce was finalized, Jotaro felt more relief than regret. His ex-wife had been right all along. He was a fool, chasing something he could never have, even as he tried to deny it.

Now in Morioh, with his daughter Jolyne by his side, life felt strangely quiet. He had come here to investigate a series of Stand-related incidents, but it also gave him a chance to bond with his daughter. 

The morning sun filtered through the streets of Morioh, painting the quiet town in golden light. Jotaro walked with Jolyne, who was six now, her tiny hand clutching his. She chattered excitedly about a butterfly she had seen, her words tumbling over each other in the way only children could manage. He nodded absently, his mind somewhere far away.

Daddy, are you listening? Jolyne tugged on his hand, her face scrunched up in a pout.

Yeah, he said, forcing a small smile. "Butterflies. Sounds exciting."

She rolled her eyes, a dramatic gesture she'd clearly inherited from him. You're so boring.

--------

One sunny afternoon, Jotaro walked through the bustling streets of Morioh with Jolyne trailing behind him. He adjusted his hat, scanning the crowd out of habit. Then, his breath caught in his chest.

There you were.

At first, he thought he was imagining it. You were standing across the street, radiant as ever, laughing at something. The sound of your laughter carried over the chatter of the crowd, and for a moment, everything else faded away.

But then he saw them.

A child, that's the same age with Jolyne, tugged at your hand, pointing excitedly at a bakery window. You crouched down, smiling warmly at the little boy as you ruffled his hair. And next to you, a man placed a protective hand on your back, a subtle intimate gesture that spoke volumes.

Jotaro froze, the weight of the moment crashing over him like a wave.

He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The world felt like it had stopped, but not even Star Platinum could save him from the crushing reality of what he was seeing.

"Daddy?" Jolyne's voice snapped him out of his trance.

He turned away, pulling his hat lower to hide his face. "Let's keep moving."

But Jolyne didn't budge. "What's up with you? You've been weird all day."

"It's nothing," he said firmly, but the crack in his composure didn't escape her notice.

That night Jotaro let Jolyne stay at his grandfather's hotel room for a while saying something he needs to finish his thesis, But in reality he sat alone in his hotel room, staring at a glass of untouched whiskey on the table. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about you, about the life you'd built without him.

"You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling," he whispered bitterly to himself, his own words mocking him now.

He thought about the box of memories he'd once kept, now long gone, discarded in a futile attempt to move on. But the memories weren't tied to objects. They lived in his mind, in his heart, and they resurfaced whenever he least expected.

---------

The next morning, as he walked through Morioh again, fate played its cruel hand. You were there, this time just steps away. You looked up, and your eyes met his.

For a moment, the world did stop.

"Jotaro," you said, your voice soft and disbelieving.

He nodded once, his expression unreadable. "It's been a while."

You hesitated, glancing at the child beside you. "It has."

A man appeared standing next to you, holding a cup of coffee and handing it to you. He looked at Jotaro curiously but didn't ask questions.

Jotaro forced himself to remain composed. "You look... happy."

"I am," you replied, your voice steady but tinged with something unspoken. "I have a good life."

He nodded again, a faint, almost imperceptible smile on his lips. "That's good."

You opened your mouth to say something else, but he stepped back, tipping his hat in that familiar, stoic way.

"Take care of yourself," he said before turning and walking away.

---------

The defeat of Yoshikage Kira brought a strange stillness to Morioh. The relentless tension of hunting a killer, the battles against Stand users, and the constant fear of losing more innocent lives had all ended. But with the quiet came the inevitable, it was time to leave.

The boat rocked gently against the current, the distant hum of Morioh fading into the horizon as Jotaro stood at the stern, arms crossed and hat pulled low over his face. The salty sea breeze ruffled his coat, but it couldn't cut through the heavy weight in his chest.

Beside him, Joseph sat quietly, the older man leaning against the railing with a faraway look in his eyes. He seemed tired, more than usual. Perhaps it was the culmination of their mission or simply the passage of years catching up with him. Jolyne, meanwhile, sat near the bow of the boat, her legs dangling over the edge as she stared out at the endless expanse of water.

"Are you going to say something, or are we just going to sit in silence?" Joseph finally asked, his voice breaking the stillness.

Jotaro didn't respond immediately. He watched the waves instead, his reflection rippling on the surface. "What's there to say?"

Joseph sighed, adjusting his hat. "You saw her, didn't you? In Morioh."

Jotaro's jaw tightened. He didn't ask how Joseph knew,his grandfather always had a way of reading him too well.

"Yeah," Jotaro said finally, his voice low. "I saw her."

Joseph gave a small nod, his gaze softening. "And?"

"And she's happy." The words tasted bitter on Jotaro's tongue, but they were the truth. He let them hang in the air, heavy and final.

Joseph studied him for a moment, his old eyes filled with understanding. "You know, Jotaro, some things... they're just not meant to be. Doesn't make it easier, though."

Jotaro let out a dry chuckle, devoid of humor. "No, it doesn't."

Jolyne turned her head slightly, catching fragments of the conversation but pretending not to listen. She didn't know the details, but she could tell whatever they were talking about weighed on her father in a way nothing else did. She hadn't seen him like this, not even during the darkest moments in Morioh.

She looked back at the water, her heart heavy with questions she didn't know how to ask.

Seeing you again had cracked something deep inside him. He hadn't let himself feel it fully in the moment, but now, the weight of it bore down on him. The image of you with your husband, your child, your life—a life he could never be part of, played over and over in his mind.

He clenched his fists, the tension in his hands mirroring the ache in his chest. He thought of all the moments that led him to this. The late nights in his childhood home, where you two whispered about dreams too big for kids to understand. The times in Egypt, when he swore to himself he'd keep you safe no matter what it took. The way you smiled through every scrape, every scar, every moment of heartbreak.

And then he thought of how he'd walked away.

It was during your final year of college. You had waited for him outside his lecture hall, rain pouring down in sheets, soaking through your clothes. But you didn't leave. Not until he finally stepped out, his usual stoic mask in place.

"Why are you doing this?" you had asked, voice breaking. "Why are you pushing me away?"

He couldn't look at you. "Because it's better this way."

"Better for who, Jotaro? You think I don't know what you're doing? You're not protecting me—you're running."

The silence that followed was louder than any argument. Finally, you had stepped back, wiping the rain and tears from your face.

"Good luck, Kujo," you had said, your voice trembling. "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for."

------

The sound of seagulls chirping in the ocean air, snapping Jotaro back to the present. He stared down at his hands, calloused and steady, hands that had protected so many but failed the one person who had mattered most.

He could still see your face in Morioh, the way you'd smiled at your child, the warmth in your eyes as your husband's hand brushed yours. That life should have been his. He should have been the one standing beside you, the one holding your hand, the one building a family with you.

But it wasn't. And it never could be.

Jotaro tipped his hat low, shielding his face from Jolyne, who still glanced at him curiously from time to time. She didn't say anything, though. She never asked about the moments he seemed lost in thought, about the weight he carried like an anchor dragging him under.

Through his eyes, the scenery blurred past, but all Jotaro saw was you.

And as much as he wanted to stop the world, to freeze time and rewrite everything he knew it wouldn't change a thing.

As the boat carried them farther from Morioh—and from you—Jotaro stared at the horizon, the sun dipping lower as if to pull the day away with it. The world felt quieter, lonelier, despite the presence of his family nearby.

His grip on the railing tightened, his knuckles white against the metal. The image of you, your smile, and the life you'd built without him flashed in his mind one last time.

With a voice low enough that only the sea could hear, he muttered, "You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling."

And no power, not even The World could change that.

[scarlet-fangs]

For the protective prompts: "You’d defy the gods, only for me?” "! would destroy the gods for you." 🤍🦢

Thank you for the ask my darling friend, I hope you will like this 🦇🖤 I’ve wanted to write for a while some forbidden romance thing for Felix, and this is perfect for it! This is some kind of Black Swan related because it fits perfectly with their dynamics. The music they listen to is from my Black Swan Spotify playlist (under the black swan tag!) Some warnings are very much needed – But it’s Felix after all so it has to be expected: Cullen bashing, Size kink, some nswf talks, mention of blood (kink) Felix’s very lovely hands…

Fic under the cut

Ever since I met him while driving my younger sister to the Cullens, they’ve been trying to keep me away from him. “He’s a monster, Black Swan! He kills people, Black Swan! He feeds of humans, Black Swan!” Who cares that he’s scary-looking and kills people? He’s tall and hot! He’s my mate! He complimented me about my patch jacket!

Carlisle was a little bit nicer about it than the rest of them. He felt maybe that it was his fault, because before Felix even said anything it was his “son” Edward who revealed the secret to me. On our second meeting, Felix himself admitted that he would not have told it to me this soon, he would have made things smoother even if I seemed to enjoy the vampire part. It was quite intriguing to him; how much I was fascinated by his fangs and the terrifying gleam his skin had in the sun, but it relieved him when I didn’t run away. When I did not pull back from his touch.

He had quite the reputation, my mate, and the Cullens, especially Edward and Alice made sure I was aware of it, how cruel and brutal he was, how he was not called the executioner for nothing. But it did not scare me, because I knew even if he was that, he wasn’t only that, my Felix was so much more! So I texted him every time I had the time, called him at night if he was available, we could stay on the phone for hours, even if his voice did not sound exactly the same it was still enough for me. All of this was rather easy to hide from the Cullens, Alice wasn’t really focused on Felix in Italy, rather on a decision of him visiting Forks, with what it would entails for Bella. Because if Aro trusted my fate in Felix’s hands, it was clearly not the same kind of trust placed in the Cullens. So like in Romeo and Juliet that Bella liked so much, Felix and I had to hide, the Cullens even managing to make me miss one of his visits thanks to Bella’s help. I was really bitter, they caught us chatting one time in Seattle and now were watching us even more closely. They would even check my home once in a while, pretending to pick up Bella that was oh so conveniently spending the afternoon at my place, to smell if there was trace of Felix’s scent. But I was his, and he would not give up on me that easily. In facts, he would not give up on me at all, he told me one night over the phone. And I’d learned that he was quite stubborn, my Felix, when he wanted something.

I had come home late from work, that night. The Cullens weren’t there, they were visiting the Denali Coven, and Bella was visiting Renée to celebrate Phil’s birthday. She felt guilty about having to give up her human life, so she tried to make everyone happy as much as she could. It was nice, to not have them on my back this week. I quickly prepared and ate dinner, and took a shower, putting on a more comfortable attire. I’ve always liked some fresh air in the house, so I tend to keep some windows open. I was doing some cleaning downstairs when I heard some noise from my bedroom. I thought that it was maybe the neighbor’s cat that came again through the window by climbing the tree, he already did it twice. I liked having him around, the little ball of black fur and soft meows, even if I liked it more when he would enter the house by the windows downstairs. I climbed the stairs, really to scold the kitty when I entered my room and realize it was not a black kitty that I would be scolding, but a hulking vampire.

“Felix! What are you doing here?!” “I was expecting a little more enthusiasm from you little love.”

“You’re lucky the Cullens aren’t in town! They don’t want me to see you! They’d try to fight you if they knew you were here, sneaking in my bedroom like that!”

« These Cullens, they are nothing for me. You shouldn’t worry about them tesorina. They should be the ones afraid to put themselves between us. As if those vegetarian vampires could defy me! I’d defy gods if I had to protect you.

"You’d defy the gods, only for me?”  I looked at you, so softly.

“Oh darling, but I would destroy the gods for you” Felix answered, oh so sure of himself. And he was strong, very strong my mate, I knew he’d win a fight even against a god. My handsome mate…

“I lost you, didn’t I?” Felix said, having recognized that look on my face. “No!” I looked very much embarrassed, he knew damn well how to tease me and get a reaction from me. It did not make me love him less… I could only love him more, my darling Felix, that currently had a smug smile on his face.

“So what do you suggest?” “We could ignore everything that isn’t us, and I could spend the night in your bed…” “Felix!” “You belong in my arms little one, nowhere else. And if anyone decides against it, they’ll see the true definition of anger…” Felix answered me, menaces laced in his tone, so sure of himself. He looked particularly imposing, hulking figure with the backlighting of my bedroom.

He fits so well here, my Felix, with the band posters hung on the walls, the shelves full of dark movies and alternative music, leather jacket reflecting the dim lights, his shiny silver rings on his big hands…

“You’re staring at my hands again, don’t you? Do you know how they could look better? With my fingers buried inside you, my hand glistening coated in your…” “Felix please! Not that I wouldn’t enjoy it but…“ Now I’m very embarrassed, and I’m sure it’s very visible.

My reaction makes him laugh, and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world, and it completely makes up for my embarrassment.

“I’m only teasing you amore mio. I know you said you wanted to wait, and I will respect your desire. Always. I’m up for anything with you as long as it’s within the boundaries you’ve set.”

Felix gets closer to me, slowly, and wraps his strong arms around me. He totally dwarfs me, and it’s no secret that we both are very into it, another proof that we were made for the other.

“Cuddles and metal?” “Cuddles and metal. But can you… take off your leather jacket please?” “Sure, if it makes my little darling happy…” With a smirk, he takes his time to remove his leather jacket, placing it on the back of my chair on top of mine. He’s only wearing an Iron Maiden tank top underneath, the logo a bit faded telling he’d own it for a while, that shows off all of his perfect muscles. Damn, to think that this man is all mine… He turns on the stereo, and then join me on the bed, the mattress digging with his heavy weight. He makes himself comfortable, setting up a few of my pillows behind his back, and then he opens his arms. I don’t need anything else, and nearly jump on him, making myself comfortable on his lap, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer against him. I softly trace the muscles on his arms, looking at the scars that cover his skin. Most were from his fights as a vampire, but he told me while that some were from his human life, being a gladiator must have been a nightmare for he was a slave without a choice in the matter.

“This song makes me think of you, now every time I hear it, I see your face.” Felix’s voice shake me out of those dark thoughts. I focus on the song, and recognize Wasp.

Her eyes reflect like the rain on the pavement I take control, she explodes, sink into her depths I'm the tremble in her voice when she attempts to speak Fixate on the frailty

“Motionless in White sure has good love songs. I must admit that every time I hear Wasp or Eternally Yours, I think of you.” It makes the both of us smile, the songs fitting us oh so perfectly, especially the lewd lyrics of Wasp. Felix has always been… quite explicit.

 So come to me No sense of restraint So come for me I will wait endlessly

I will break you carefully So take me harmfully You fit so perfect I will wait

I let my fingers trace the scars on his arms again, I know how fond of physical contact my Felix is. I must admit that I am too… He grabs the remote of my stereo, and lowers the sound of the music to a cozier one.

“Lost in the shadows?”   I giggle. “What’s wrong with the Lost Boys? It’s a good vampire movie. I’m still bitter at the fate of the boys… Besides, you’ve got the vibes” It makes him laugh, but we both know I’m not wrong. He’s kind of got the look and music taste, and some of the brutality when it comes to protecting whom he loves. And he would look very hot and sexy covered in blood too…

“You’re imagining me covered in blood, aren’t you?” “How do you even…” “I know you, little love” “Too much, you know me too much…” “I could never know too much about you, not even after a few decades, centuries, never.”

It makes me smile, and I curl up further in his embrace. It’s getting late.

“We should listen to something softer to help you sleep…” “First, I’m not even  dressed for bed yet, and second, ,what’s heavy about L’assasymphonie?” “It’s about a man who can’t sleep and is drowning in despair because of his demons. Not really the type of songs that put you to sleep.” “Do you realized I used to fall asleep blasting Maiden when I was younger?” “Yes, and now you enjoy softer songs before going to bed. This is much better, get in your night attire now.” Felix has changed the music to eyes without a face by Billy Idol, and I must admit it’s a good choice. This man knows me too well. I strip of my black jeans, and take off my shirt. I put on a Black Veil Brides tee, one that’s a size too big and go back to bed. I slip under the covers, and realize Felix had taken off a few layers too so I would be more comfortable. He brings me close to him, his arms wrapping around my waist once again, pressing me against his muscular body.

“Sleep now, tesorina. I’ll keep you safe.” Felix whisper in my ear. “Goodnight my love”, I whisper back. No matter what these idiots Cullens say, nothing will stop me from wanting this, fighting to get this, my Felix. I belong in his embrace and nowhere else.

[clemkruckinnie]

ooouuu - possessed!dalton + choking ….

(this ended up being hurt/comfort im SORRY)

see you soon- d. lambert

Chris’ SOS text has you nearly sprinting across campus, flying up the hallway to her and Dalton’s room. You’re prepared to bust the door in if her text means what you think it does. It’s almost scarier when the door gives way immediately, an eerie silence having fallen over the dorm room.

“Chris?”

You almost scream when you feel a hand on your wrist, but look down and see Chris herself. She nods her head toward the corner of the room.

Dalton’s back is turned to you, but as if he can tell you’re staring, he turns back around. Only, when you see the yellow irises in place of Dalton’s blue ones, you know your Dalton isn’t the one at the wheel.

“Chris, RUN-“

Before you can advance towards the door, it slams shut, and there’s a hand on your throat.

You claw at Dalton’s arm to no avail, whatever thing inside of him smiling at your struggle.

“Dalton,” you barely get out, “Dalton, it’s me-“

Something flashes on his/its face, but it’s right back to the stony glare it had been giving you as you’re tossed to the ground.

“Y/N!” Chris calls out, jumping down from the bed as the two of you hold onto each other.

“Youdon’t wanna hurt her, Dalton,” Chris attempts to reason, I know you don’t.”

The thing inside Dalton watches you curiously, still coughing and sputtering for air as Chris holds you back.

“Let me go! Just let me get to him-“

“And let him do what he just did again? No fucking way-“

Thecdemon snarls again, you and Chris crawling back towards the wall as it smirks at you.

Dalton feels helpless, trapped inside his own brain as your terrified face looks up at him, marks starting to form on your throat.

All that he can think about is that he hurt you, he hurt you, he fucking hurt you-

You retrieve your cracked phone from your pocket, frantically scrolling through your liked songs after managing to find your spotify.

“What are you doing-“

“This song! He loves this song, I just have to-“

“What, you’re gonna Stranger Things the demon out of him?”

Your fingers finally find the play button, cranking your volume up to full blast.

so you lost your trust, and you never should have, you never should have

Dalton recognizes the song immediately.

He remembers hearing it for the first time, alone in your dorm with you, the two of you illuminated by your string lights as you tried and failed to teach him how to slow dance. It’d had been the night of your first kiss.

don’t break your back, if you ever see this. but don’t answer that

It’s August.

It’s the first time he’d ever met you, sitting cross legged on Chris’ bed while the two of you made bracelets to give out, an attempt to make more friends. You had handed one to him upon your introduction.

He looks down, the bracelet still on his wrist. A reminder that he has you to get home to. He (has) to get home to you.

He starts running, the source of the song growing louder as he follows it.

in a bulletproof vest, with the windows all closed. i’ll be doing my best, i’ll see you soon

It’s all a blur from there. Your laugh, the way you hold him when he can’t sleep, the way your nose crinkles when he says something awkward, followed by that beautiful smile.

Your voice, calling his name. Calling him home.

He reaches a door, practically falling through as his world goes white.

X

The thing inside Dalton lets out a terrible sound, black liquid dripping from its mouth as it collapses.

You and Chris cling to each other tightly as you sob, the song playing somewhere far away. This is it. there’s no way anyone could come back from that-

and there’s movement across the floor. Then, coughing. It’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard.

Chris doesn’t stand a chance at holding onto you crawl across the floor, peering down as Dalton sits up.

Your breath catches in your throat as he opens his eyes. If it’s that sickly yellow, he’s gone forever, and your death is imminent.

They open, finally—a clear, brilliant blue.

“Y/N.”

“Dalton!”

You launch yourself forward, Dalton returning the embrace the second your arms wrap around him.

“I came back for you.” Dalton pulls away, looking up at you with reverence in his eyes.

“You saved me. I heard your voice, you pulled me back.”

“Aw!”

The two of you look back at Chris, still backed into the corner. “Sorry.”

You shake your head, “Nothing to be sorry about. Get in here.” Chris crawls across the floor, kneeling behind you so she can put her arms around both of you.

“Not trying to touch all that bile. No offense, dolphin.”

“None taken.”

The song still plays as the three of you sit there, decompressing from what had just happened. It was going to get better. It had to.

[sea-of-dust]

Can you please do the sees girls being on their period and their male s/o trying to help them and comfort them but he has barely any clue what do do?

S.E.E.S girls x M! Reader

Imagine being on your period and your boyfriends in shambles

N: what if I looked you right in the eyes and told u I've been listening to tricot so much it's beaten Raise A Sulien on my spotify board. LISTEN TO TOKYO VAMPIRE HOTEL RAAAAA

Warnings: Mentions of blood/bleeding,

Nothing can go wrong! One cramp it's over. Totally wiped, Terror shock, smackdown, crit hit she's down. She's gonna turn into Minato real quick

"Urrgghhhhhhh" "you alright" "Nooooo" she whines arching her back "can you try sitting down somewhere" "there's no seats" "you can lean on me then" solver of all problems despite being the most confused man on earth y/n!! The one person from keeping her from stealing Minatos eyebags and overall tiredness

You'd try to take her to the mail to cheer her up, mention karaoke opening up and she's able to run over in milisecounds. "I heard your call" "did you here this a discount because of the anniversary" she'd get so excited she ran to the wrong direction

You'd also buy her gifts during this time, specially the jack bro claw machine gifts and new music that comes out

You pamper her so much she'd tease you on it. "My humble servent!" "Yes?" "Bring me thy homework! Filled with thy answers" "we can do it together" "what a great suggestion" there would be times she'd ask for piggy back rides in public aswell and people would catch you zomming around with her on your back shounting like she were on a roller coaster

She'd get a bit bratty, apologizing for it later. "It's so embrassing I'm sorry you put up with it" "it's fine don't worry about it" she growns knowing she's probably going to act similarly next time.

You'd hear her express more often than she usually does, which is terrifying, she groan alot, huff, squint more, yea just don't get her frustrated or catch her after the average conversation with jinpei. "HES JUST SO UGGHHH" "I'm sure he didn't mean it" "he won't shut up he's so lucky you're here" you already imagine her arguing with him and him responding with "holy yapington!"

The type to hide under the blanket and poke out if you bring snacks. "I brought you snacks yukari" you place them on the mattress and watch them being taken in secounds "...oh that was...somethin" don't let your intrusive thoughts win though, once you put your hand there you're being dragged under with her near instantly.

She'd trip a bit more often. Would lean on you alot if she's fallen alot that day. "Sorry just a bit dizzy" "don't worry about it, not like the floor isn't used to it by now" her face changes to a disapointed frown, you apologize near instantly

She'd hit you with the classic. "Hey, would you give me the whole world if you could?" You pause knowing the trick question. You try to withhold your sweat as you hold her hand. "Not just this world but the whole universe." "y/n..." she smiles, embracing you. "You're so sweet" now just avoiding every question like this or answer with the most crazy thing and she won't hit you with a "so other planets belong to other women?" These are mostly jokes tho but she'll act like she holds a grudge

Won't let it show until it has a kick to it (enough to have someone start leaning on stuff) she believes she can handle it as usual but this one...eh not so much, of course you wouldn't know much either until she straight up told you she felt weak

So when you convince her to take the day off you get everything for her from class. "Even though she was on her period she mustn't slack" was probably what she would say, she'd try to attend school but if she couldnt you'd be the first person she told

She gets you to do her daily activities for her and honestly props to you. You'd attended student council in her place, ask her classmates for notes, stop by a market or two if she asked. "I'm sorry if I'm bombarding you with these tasks" "it's fine.." you'd probably wonder why you got so used to writing in two notebooks a little too quickly

She would go to tartarus in this and just be like "I got it" she indeed did not have it. She'd come back to the dorm totally wiped but she'd try to keep the "I'm fine" act going and then as soon as she gets in bed she's knocked out. She doesn't even tie up her hair which is where you come in, the routine saver!! "I can't thank you enough" "don't worry at all about it"

She'd also get pretty clingy on her period, you're casually seeing her vulnerable you're not going to leave just yet. "Don't go" "?" She looks blankly at the foot of her bed, you sit down with her "how long would you like me to stay" "...." her cheeks turn a bit pink "until I feel better" getting to see her flustered gets your mouth to tease into a smile. "I can do that" she'd definitely think about it when her periods over and just regret every action, yet wouldn't mind asking you every once in a while

You gotta have that dawg in you to date fuuka/ref and a bit of inferrance skill

She would try to not let it show as it would drag others down but she can't really hide it well around you. "Here" you hand her a pad "I thought it hid it well this time" she pounts a bit disapointed "you can't really hide how you get a bit paler when this happens, do you want me to make something" "you don't have to..." "I'll make you that thing youve been wanting me to try" she narrows her eyes "tough offer"

If she did go to school with you, Yukari would comment on how low on energy Fuuka seemed to be. "She looks kinda down" "yea I've been trying to cheer her up a bit but nothings really working" Yukari narrows her eyes at you "you didn't happen to upset her did you" you scratch your head "no she's just on her period maybe sweets or something" She'd be so embrassed if you brought up the time she thought you upset Fuuka, and then see you come in with those Japanese gummy foods to make with her.

You try to tuck her in and make sure she has as much rest as possible, she might resist because of s.e.e.s but you being blissfully unaware just say "im sure they'll understand you can't go today, they're just a club" she would toss and turn thinking of shadows ending up with asking you to stay with her because she couldn't sleep

Unrested Fuuka and she's on her period? You don't need just the dawg you need god. "I feel like I'm letting everyone down.." "they know you need to rest Fuuka it's alright" she grips at your shoulders. "Yea but I still feel horrible for it" "Fuuka how about this I'll bring you notes and your homework and we can do it together" she sighs "then I'll drag you down!" She tears up, noticing this you hug her. "Fuuka, we're in the same class if anything I'm just being a mail man, you won't drag anyone down if you're willing enough to keep up so you don't have to ask many questions when you get back" she lossens her grip on you looking up to see your face "really?" "Really"

Im...you think her blood streams oil? She'd probably compare a period to a malfunction or just feeling aggressively glum for a week

"Y/n I don't know why but I feel so fatigued" "did anything happen?" "No, not that I'm aware of" "must be your version of a period" you shrug your shoulders not even sure if that's even right. "I'll see what I can do" you had no dang clue so you just decided to tuck her in bringing a stuffed animal just incase

She'd law down super awkwardly just full on still. "Do you think my limbs will get caught in this blanket?" "Should I replace it?" "No it's quite comfortable"

She'd also get a bit clumsy, which is horrible when tests come along. "I seem to have put the wrong choice despite knowing the correct answer" "that happens to all of us" you sigh reminding yourself of all the times you put the wrong answer to find out later the correct one. So asking to study is critical even if she still dosent know the material she has spirit!

She would come to school, this doesn't stop her from staring down at you as soon as class was over, just scarier. "You gotta stop doing that" you shiver after the 9th jumpsca re this year alone. "I'd like to take you to your next class" "thank you Aigis please don't do this to wake me up" "I think it would be effective" "effective in giving me nightmares" thank god those jumpscares only happen for a few days

[marleyybluu]

Inside My Love

Pedro Pascal x black!fem!reader

WC: 2.1k

Warnings: smut, a bit of plot, calling Pedro daddy, p in v, unprotected sex (but be safe irl pls), cockwarming at the end if you squint hard enough, kitchen sex.

I love this pic of him

He was in love with you. The poor man was smitten like a schoolboy every time you came into his view, his brown eyes flashing with adoration when he looked at you. He thought you were the prettiest woman he'd ever set his eyes on, stumbled any time he talked to you, would blush any time your hand would rest on his thigh while laughing at one of his stupid jokes.

As grown as he was he was terrified of letting you know how he felt, scared he'd ruin the bond you two had. He wasn't going to risk losing you over that but he started to hate seeing you all hugged up on anyone that wasn't him, more specifically your co-star in a new movie that you were starring in. The two of you had to do press to promote the film and keep the illusion up that you two had chemistry outside of work, it's not like he was a terrible person but he just wasn't your type.

Your type was Pedro himself, in all his goofiness, in all his sweetness-- he was a gentle and kind soul for as long as you had known him and no one could change your opinion of him. You two were foolishly in love with each other without even knowing it.

Pedro sat in your living room, his feet up as he reclined in his designated Lazy-Boy, he called dibs on it the minute he saw the new addition in your house. You laughed whenever he sat down and made the usual grunting noise to emphasize the fact that he was "so old".

It was a quiet Saturday night, you were in the kitchen dicing it up, making a special little dinner for the both of you. Music softly played from your speaker, your favourite song— Snooze, had come on and you decided to turn it up a bit louder. Pedro sat in the living room playfully rolling his eyes at the fact that now the music drowned out the television. He didn't mind though, he loved your music taste. He started to become curious and decided to come to keep you company. His gray socks slid against the hardwood floor as he made his way to you.

You were distracted finishing up the food with a wine glass in your hand and an almost empty wine bottle in the middle of the kitchen island, your hips swaying side to side in your gray shorts, you sang along to the lyrics, the bottom of your-- well his, shirt riding up as your raised your hand. You were tipsy and enjoying all the tingles the wine provided to your body. Pedro couldn't take his eyes off you or maybe he just didn't want to. So tempted to sneak up behind you and hold you from behind, pressing little kisses on your neck... whispering how much he loved you.

He shook his head and tipped his head back downing his Corona, just enjoying the show. It took you a while but you finally turned around, a short scream sounded over the music— you placed your hand over your heart feeling the beat against your palm. Pedro let out a hearty laugh, he didn't mean to but your reaction was too funny not to be laughed at. "I'm going to kill you, Pascal," You shouted throwing a kitchen towel at him. "Don't do that."

He put his hand up in surrender and softly apologized, you rolled your eyes pretending to be mad. "Oh, come on YN, don't do me like that."

You digested the last sip of your wine, you turned around emptying the bottle of its last drop and resumed cooking. Pedro lowly chuckled at your attempt to be mad at him, he too downed the last of his drink and placed the empty bottle on the counter. There was a beat of silence as Spotify chose the next song.

A soft, almost lulling beat, started.

Two people, just meeting, barely touching each other.

Two spirits, greeting, trying to carry further.

The classic 'Inside My Love.' by Minnie Riperton began to play, changing the mood of the atmosphere. You couldn't lie the alcohol was going straight to your core, you were fighting demons. You turned off the stove and moved the pot off of the hot burner, you backed up and were immediately met with a wall. You froze.

Your heart raced as you felt gentle hands settle on your hips and carefully pull you in closer. You could tell he was a bit scared about how you'd react to the sudden action he just took but you received it with ease, almost melting in his hold. He took that as permission to bring you in even closer, he closed his eyes as your hair tickled his chin. Pedro slowly sunk his head into the beautiful bush of your soft tight curls. Smelling sweet as usual, courtesy of the various products you put in it.

That smell lingered every time you walked by him. It invaded his senses, and made his eyes roll back every time. His head in the clouds over how close he was to you, he was almost stunned to feel your plentiful behind brushing against his hardening cock. You two swayed along with the music, you leaned your head back against his chest closing your eyes and just enjoying his hold.

He softly smiled, it felt like he'd been waiting to do this forever. You smirked placing your hands over his guiding them higher, they passed under your shirt brushing over your torso and firmly planted on your bare breasts. He groaned feeling the flesh, the warmth of your tits. Your nipples hardened almost immediately, you tugged on your bottom lip to stifle the little moan that threatened to spill over. Your hands loosely holding onto his wrists, he took the chance to move one hand further up your body, wrapping his slender fingers around the column of your neck.

"Pedro..." You whispered. He could bend you over the counter for that alone. Suddenly his hands were gone, even for a second you missed them. You turned around with a pout, and a wave of embarrassment passed over you. "Sorry." Not sure why you were apologizing in the first place.

His eyes softened, his hands taking yours. "No, no, no YN you have nothing to apologize for. I just..." He wanted to swallow his words. You searched his puppy eyes, filled with adoration and hope. You smiled removing your hand from his but quickly resting it under his chin, scratching at his scruff. "You're getting grey there buddy."

"I know." He sulked. "Mm, don't worry you're still cute."

The small compliment caused his cheeks to heat up. You pulled him closer, your noses brushing and finally your lips touching. A fire lighting inside him rather quickly, he'd imagined how your lips tasted many times over and it was nothing compared to the reality, his hand transferred to the back of your head-- holding your place, where you belonged. Your own palms scaling the perimeter of his body and landing at the bottom of his shirt, you lightly tugged at it hoping he'd get the message and he did. Your lips parted for a moment and glued right back together, it was starting to heat up in the kitchen again.

He peppered kisses along your sweet brown skin, his hand slipping under your thighs-- soon your feet were off the ground, he carried you off to the dining table, your warm thighs rested on the cold surface. Pedro was lost in lust, mapping out your collarbone and chest with his lips your little pants were his motivation. "Pedrito..." You called out his nickname. "I need you, please."

He didn't need to hear it twice. His fingers fumbling with the band of your boxers, taking them off and tossing them wherever. Your pretty pussy on display, swollen and soaking for him and him only.

"Fuck." He couldn't contain himself anymore. His index finger slowly dragged between your folds, collecting your juices, he brought his finger to his lips taking the chance to taste you. You were heavenly. He dropped to his knees to be closer to your heat, he held your legs apart and dove between them. You gasped feeling his tongue explore your crevices. Your palm rested on the table holding you up while the other played in his shaggy hair, you loved when it was like that but you knew he'd probably have to tame it soon.

You whimpered as he sucked and slobbered all over your clit, his saliva running down your cunt and his chin. You peeked down only to be met with his dark eyes, the brown in them had seemingly left. "Baby, oh shit." You attempted to squirm away, your orgasm approaching a lot quicker than you had anticipated, but he wasn't letting you budge. "Pedro, please, oh my god." You faintly cried. He let go of one of your legs, using his free fingers to slip inside. You were done for.

You laid back, unable to hold yourself up anymore. Your legs closing around his head, he accepted his fate knowing this was a nice way to go out anyway. You clenched around his fingers, your nectar coating them well-- he enjoyed your taste, almost becoming drunk on it. He stopped when he figured you'd had enough. He resumed leaving kisses on your skin, trailing up your torso until he reached your lips. He playfully flicked his tongue against your bottom lip causing you to smile.

"I love you." You blurted out. Your eyes widened, the words slipped out with ease and now they were out in the open for him to receive but he didn't say anything and the regret was settling in you started to wonder if you just fucked up your entire friendship. Pedro pressed his forehead against yours, he shifted around fumbling with the strings of his sweatpants, and he pulled everything down all at once. "I fucking love you." He muttered easing himself inside. You whimpered feeling his girth stretch you out, he filled you up so nicely. "You have no idea how much I fucking love you YN."

His words went straight to your cove, they made you wetter and he could tell. He slowly thrust into you, his hand around your neck once again-- he wasn't choking you he just loved the way it rested there. "I want you to be mine, so bad."  He confessed. "I'm yours, baby, I promise." You reassured.

He grunted delivering one hard stroke, he stayed in place just enjoying your warm and oozy walls hugging him tightly. He was throbbing inside you. He hissed as he began to move again, your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he gave you steady strokes that weren't too fast and weren't too slow. He wanted you to feel everything.

Your moans and the sound of skin contact drowned out the music that was still playing. "Right there daddy, fuck yes!"

"Yeah? It feels good mama?"

He was coming out of his shyness. "Yes baby, you feel so fucking good inside me."

His pace picked up, he was pounding into you, holding you close. Your moans were music to his ears, your nails scratching down his back stopping right above his cute bum. You giggled lazily when he moved your hands down onto his butt. One hard stroke cut that laughter with the quickness, your nails leaving crescent moon imprints on his skin. "Shit!" Your legs trembled, the way he would switch it up and slow it down just to edge your release, he began to play with your aching clit.

His name flowed like a river out of your mouth, you whimpered and moaned, screamed and shouted. "Fuck! Pedro, I'm gonna cum."

He left kisses along your jawline and up behind your ear. "Please, cum for me my pretty girl. All over me." Those words set you off, you coated him in your cream, an appreciation of his work. He had a few strokes left before he emptied himself inside you. The two of you were sweaty and the table was messy. You placed both hands on his face. "I meant what i said you know. I do love you."

Pedro beamed. He picked you up, your tired body wrapped around him as you two exited the kitchen and entered the living room. He sat down in his chair, you lightly moaned feeling him shift inside you. He reached behind him finding a blanket on the chair back, he draped it over your body. He was so warm.

"I loved you first though." He childishly said. "Uh uh, who said that?"

"Me." He said proudly. "Mm, I won't fight you on it then."

He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. Over the moon to have you in his arms for good.

idk i was just trying to dabble in the Pedro fantasies. God that man is so fine. if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic reblogs and comments are appreciated.

Peace and all the love

[sokuly419]

I don’t typically make posts like this myself, but maybe some others would like to hear it. This is something of a stream of thought so sorry if it seems choppy and whatever.

I’m not going to sugar coat it. This election was absolutely awful. I know we’re all fucking terrified. We’re all grieving. Famous show hosts to politicians on both sides of the aisle are in tears with us.

I bawled before they called it. I cried once Trump broke 100 electoral votes well before Harris. I knew it was over by time I went to bed. My best friend tried to talk me out of it, telling me it wasn’t over until it was. I absolutely bawled when I saw 210. My wife held me while I just sobbed in a way I haven’t in a very long time.

I am terrified. And heartbroken. And pissed.

Now… we have to live. Trust me, I’m having those thoughts too. Many of us are. But the biggest middle finger you can give to them is to stay alive. They want us dead. We know that. Don’t make it easy for them. Don’t make any of this easy for them.

Take your time to cry, scream, lose control for a moment. But don’t kill yourself. You will have a place in fighting back that no one else can take. You don’t have to be on the frontlines. Just simply staying alive is fighting back and if that’s all you can give, we’ll take it.

Listen to your favorite song one more time. And maybe again after that. And again. Rewatch your favorite show or movie. Do it a few times so you don’t forget your favorite scenes or lines. Read your favorite book or fanfic. Escape for a bit. Make your favorite comfort food.

Are you looking forward to a new show? A new season of a show you like? A new movie maybe? Is one of your favorite musicians releasing new music soon? Do you have pets? They won’t understand and they’ll miss you.

I don’t care what you have to do to keep seeing the next day, just do it. I know it’s hard. I really, really do. I’ve been there. I’ve tried more than once. I still have those thoughts. And those thoughts got bad again with the outcome of the election. We’ve already lost so many people because of it, there’s no denying it.

I hope this can reach at least one person who needs it. If this can save even one person from taking their life, I’ll take it.

Right now, I’m looking forward to season 2 of Arcane. I rewatched season 1. A She-Ra rewatch is in my sights too. I’ve been listening to new (to me) music. If you have Spotify, the daylist is a good way to get new music through the day. I have pets and they wouldn’t understand. I can’t do that to them. And it would devastate my wife. And my family. I have yet to reread a couple of my favorite fics.

Take it from someone who lost a best friend to suicide. The grief… it’s not something that can be explained. You will be missed. Your best friend will scream and cry and cuss out every deity there is. They will feel like they failed you in every way. I don’t wish that kind of grief on anyone. If I didn’t have the list of things I’m pushing through for, the experience I went through definitely would make me think long and hard about it.

Now is the time we organize and fight back. And we can’t do it without you. You’re fighting back by living, so live. And keep living. Stay as safe as you possibly can. I love you, stranger reading this. I see you. Let’s hold hands or hug or whatever and just breathe together for a minute. We’re alive. And we have to stay that way for as long as possible.

Don’t forget: the first Pride was a riot.

We got this. We’re going to do it terrified. But we’re gonna do it. We have to. We owe it to those before us.

[gretavangroupie]

Valor (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Jake x Reader, Daniel x Reader

Word Count: 14.7k

Warnings: Cursin', Smokin', Drinkin', Allusions to Drug Use. Angst: Struggle and Poverty, Emotional Manipulation, Abandonment, Jealousy, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Weapons, Fighting, Blood, Mentions of Death, Allusions to Suicide, Allusions to Shady Activities, Gambling. Smut: Kissing, Allusions to Sex, Heavy Petting.

Valor Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

A new project in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

HER POV

Danny pulled you by your hand into the back room, darting through a door you hadn’t noticed, straight into a room that was too dark to see inside. You followed his lead, trusting him to guide you, as you stepped on unidentified objects, tripping on them as he yanked you right and left through what felt like a broom closet with storage shelves. 

Finally, a light bulb illuminated above you, bringing light to the small hidden hallway. He began pulling a big folded piece of thick cardboard from behind one of the shelves, struggling to hold the whole thing by himself. A quick glance from him let you know he needed a hand, so you jumped to action, helping him to remove the bulky and awkward object. 

“What the hell is this?” You asked, noticing it was kind of heavy. You both turned it so it was easier to carry, making your way down the rest of the crowded hallway and into a larger room. You worked to place it on a tabletop, watching as Danny flipped the flaps open and revealed a very old, very worn-in poker table topper. “Oh.”

“Self-explanatory, huh.” He huffed, running back into the storage hallway to grab more items. Shortly, he returned with a few decks of cards, and a larger box that held multicolored poker chips. Again, you watched his hands move quickly, setting up the table with as much precision as he could, given his hands were a bit shaky and his body language seemed more anxious than normal. You stayed standing awkwardly by, wanting to help, but completely unsure how to. 

“You know how to do this?” He asked you, glancing up through his thick eyelashes while he worked. 

You shook your head quickly, stepping back as you crossed your arms. “No. I don’t.”

“Fuck. Ok, can you… go gather up a few things from the kitchen and make them presentable on like, a plate or something? I don’t know what we have, doesn’t matter…crackers, whatever you can find.” He ordered, his voice cracked with nerves. 

Now that, you could do. “Yes. I’ll be back.”

You managed to come up with two plates full of Club crackers and pepperoni, two jars of olives, and some butter cookies. You rushed back through the way you came, presenting your buffet to Danny. 

“That will have to do.” He chuckled as he unfolded a metal chair. When he finished, he stood back and placed his hands on his hips, his body still dirty from the workday. 

“Danny, I know I said I wouldn’t ask questions, but…should I be scared right now?” You asked, working to pop the top on one of the olive jars. 

He sighed heavily, catching his breath as he made his way over to you. “No, no reason to be scared. You’re…you’re just going to have to bear with us. This was…unexpected, tonight.” He took the jar from your hands, spinning the top off with little to no effort at all. He put it back down on the table, and placed his hands on your shoulders, turning you to meet his eyes. “I really am sorry you’re accidentally involved in this shit tonight, and I really hope it doesn’t change your mind about me…”

“Danny, what the fuck am I about to witness?” You asked, suddenly feeling even more terrified than before. Being in the dark like this was starting to make your face go numb with fear. 

His hands squeezed your shoulders as he stepped in closer, his eyes flashing behind you down the hallway for just a split second. 

“Hopefully not a goddamn thing.”

——

You follow Danny back out through the strange secret passageway and out into the bay, seeing Jake still rushing around with whatever he was cleaning. You grabbed your book off the chair, and stood around sheepishly, waiting for one of them to tell you the next move. How the fuck did you find yourself here?

Just then you heard a rap on the old metal door, two quick knocks, followed by one…

Jake and Danny’s heads popped up immediately, the two of them looking to each other while their shoulders fell in relief. Jake rushed to the door, but before he opened it, he motioned to Danny to push you behind the wall of the loft to conceal you. This is insane…

You stepped back behind it out of view of whoever was at the door, but you could still hear the conversation. 

“Jacob, not much time…” the gruff voice said as you listened to his footsteps enter the bay. 

“They said sunset tonight, last time they got here sooner than that.” Jake responded quickly. 

“I know it, I know it. Is everything ready? I brought two bottles of rye whiskey…”

“Yeah, just finished putting everything out.” You heard Danny sigh a sound of relief, and his words mixed with the stranger’s made it become apparent to you that the other man was Bubba. 

A little more private conversation was had between them before you heard the door open again. 

“I’ll be back a little before sunset, listen to me, boys. There’s to be a couple new faces here tonight. I wanted to warn ya ‘fore they just showed up.” Bubba explained with panic in his voice. 

“New faces? Who?” Jake asked, his voice a bit more booming than before. 

“I don’t know much, Jake. Just know they won’t be familiar to you. Just treat ‘em normal. Like everybody else, you hear? I’ll be here to keep watch. I’ll be back soon.”

And with that, you heard the loud metal door clank closed. 

Danny finally rounded the wall and pushed past you, grabbing the tips of your fingers as he pulled you back toward their rooms. “You’re gonna have to be okay with hanging out in Jake’s room tonight, okay?” He brushed his sweaty strands back, leaving behind a tiny black brush of grease on his forehead. “They’re going to be here soon and they can’t…they can’t see you.”

You felt enraged. Your eyes scanned his as you clenched your jaw, wanting nothing more than to lash out at him, and Jake too, for bringing you into this mess, whatever it was. When Danny kept his lips pursed together, you caught his drift. “Trust me, Y/N…please…” he whispered, his fingertips squeezing yours. 

“Alright, fucking fine.” You pushed past him this time, making your way into Jake’s room. You sat down onto his mattress with force, hugging your knees as your book hung between your fingers. You looked up to Danny with disapproval, still utterly pissed off this was happening. You knew he felt bad, you could see it in his face. 

He finally took a deep breath and made his way over to you, leaning down to press a quick, chaste kiss directly to the middle of your forehead. It surprised you, it was the first time he’d actually connected his lips to you. You felt a giant burst of butterflies erupt in your stomach, the hurried sentiment most definitely softening you to the madness you felt before. 

“Don’t come out until we tell you it’s safe. I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He whispered, pulling the old door closed behind him. 

——

It had been almost an hour, and you’d heard nothing but Jake and Daniel’s occasional whisper-yells to each other. You’d recognized that there were a few unfamiliar voices mixed in with theirs now, all male, all muffled and broken as each made their way through the kitchen. 

You’d made yourself comfortable on Jake’s bed, kicked back reading your poems and chewing on a cinnamon candy while you waited. It hadn’t quite dawned on you yet that you were probably going to be in here all night long…the thought that poker games usually lasted well into the morning hours completely passing you up. You were thankful you had used the bathroom before they shut you in. 

While you were knee-deep in a long Maya passage, you were startled by Jake’s bedroom door flying open and him barreling through it, looking as though he had forgotten you were in there. You recoiled back on the bad, a little scared at who might be busting in.

“Shit.” He breathed, hardly a word. “Sorry. You uh, you okay in here?”

You shrugged your shoulders and let out a breath. “Okay as I can be, I guess.” You wanted him to see that you were a bit agitated at the whole situation. 

He walked over to his closet, pulling out what looked to be a semi-clean t-shirt. He yanked it off the hanger and then looked to you, his tongue rested across his upper lip in thought. You were rested back comfortably on his pillows, reading your book like he wasn’t even there. When you noticed him looking, you glanced up from the pages to find him staring you down a bit awkwardly. He turned his back to you, grabbing his grease-covered shirt at the neck, ripping it off quickly and throwing it to the corner of the room. 

You couldn’t help but glance up again, seeing his half-naked body completely devoid of any coverage so that you could see his tattoos as a whole. His arm and back muscles tightened and drew in as he moved, the ripple as his skin moved over his ink covered ribs leaving you breathless. You thought you might combust all together as you tried to look at his tattoos through quick glances. There were so many, so intricate and ornate. You wanted to look at each of them. Ask what they meant to him. 

The first one you noticed was a dove on the back of his right shoulder blade, its wings expanded like it was ready to fly right off of his skin, followed by a thin string of letters that flowed directly down the center of his spine. You were too far away to read what they said, but they disappeared directly into the back of his jeans. The last and most noticeable one was the long body of a snake, traveling from in front of his left shoulder and down his back, the tail of it wrapped around his hip. Your eyes fell short again, back down to the words on the pages. Concentrate, Y/N. That’s nothing you should be looking at, he wants privacy. But god…he was a fucking sight…

Then, out of your periphery, you watched as he slowly turned to face you, pulling the new, clean shirt over his head and smoothing it over his pecs and toned stomach. Your eyes traveled down his torso to the top of his jeans, a thin band of his boxers peeking out over top. Fuck, don’t look. The next thing you knew, he was crawling up the bed, hand after knee, directly toward you. You closed the book, your body moving itself backwards and away from him as he continued to crawl toward you. 

What the hell…? Your heart began pounding. 

He stopped when both hands rested on either side of your torso, his face so close to yours you could feel his breath. His hair hung in his face as he reached his right hand to his nightstand, pulling the squeaky drawer open with quick force. You moved your eyes to the side to see what he was grabbing as the metallic sounds rattled in his hand. A handgun. He kept his face close to yours…so close his nose was mere centimeters from brushing yours. You felt your breath hitch, and you knew he noticed. Fuck. He cocked the safety on the gun, and reached behind him, slipping it into the back of his jeans before slowly backing away off the bed. 

He stood tall from the mattress, noticing you were nothing but a panting pile of nerves and discomfort while he resituated the gun. The side-smirk that painted his face was enough to make you infuriated again, but before you could haul off and throw your sharp words down his throat, he had backed out the door, shutting it quietly just as Danny had. 

God, you were so overwhelmingly pissed off at the both of them, while at the same time they were both so goddamn attractive it almost wasn’t fair. 

After a while, in a huff of boredom and aggravation, you slammed the book down into the dingy comforter, deciding to take a look around the room now that you felt like a true prisoner. The wood-paneled walls were lined with old posters and photographs, while there was only enough room for one chest of drawers and a bedside table. You sat up a bit, deciding that if you were going to be stuck in here, you would at least take a look around at your captor’s belongings. You stood, admiring the various faces of his apparent idols…Hendrix, Neil Young, Tears for Fears, The Police…quite the selection. 

The shelf on his dresser was lined with photos, some of him as a kid, one of him and Danny as teenagers, one of Ace and a dog, and one of him and his mom. It struck you, how much he looked exactly like his dad in the photo upstairs, and how much he also looked exactly like his mother. Where he had his dad’s mouth and stature, he most definitely had his mother’s eyes. “Wow…” you whispered as you took the photo in. She was holding him on her lap, he had to have barely been two. You began to wonder where she was, what happened to her, and why he hasn’t mentioned much about his family. 

But come to think of it, neither had Danny. 

—

JAKE POV

You let out the breath you were holding as your gun settled into the waistband of your jeans. It’s cold on your skin, harsh and metallic, yet easily concealed under the confines of your t-shirt. You hope you won’t need it, but you’d rather have it than not. You laugh a little, remembering the look on her face as you crawled towards her. So nervous, so wild. You click your tongue on the back of your teeth and huff another laugh. You could smell the remnants of her cinnamon candy on her breath as you hovered over her, silently commending her on her good taste as you pulled away and excused yourself. You took that wild energy with you as you left, hoping it would give you what you needed to get through this game.

As you stepped back into the kitchen you saw Daniel leaning against the countertop with his arms crossed across his chest. He’d taken the time to change as well, pulling his hair back to rest at the back of his neck. His eyes flick to yours as you emerge from the hallway. 

“She fine?” he asks, nodding towards your bedroom. 

“Yeah. She’s fine. Probably need to feed her though. Hasn’t eaten since this mornin’ and she’s a little jumpy.” you answer, wondering what you even had that you could give her to eat. 

“Think she’d eat a sandwich?” he asks, turning to open the fridge. 

“Think she’ll eat what she’s given, or go hungry. Her choice.” you quip back, walking to gather up a collection of glasses, setting them out on the table. He sends you a nod, pulling a few things from the fridge and placing them on the counter. 

“We got the money?” he asks a little hesitantly. You could tell it was weighing on him as his eyes darted around the room. It had been a slow month, but you knew to save a little more for this exact reason.

“Yeah we got the fuckin’ money, but it’s only been three weeks since the last game for fucks sake. We’re lucky old man Anderson needed that carburetor or we’d be fucked.” you snap, “I’m going to get it now, just…make her that sandwich and get it to her before they get here.” 

You walk through the kitchen and back out to the garage, running up the metal steps towards the safe. You sit in the rolling chair and bend over, spinning the combination lock in the correct sequence until it clicks. You pull the cash you need, feeling a wave of anger wash over you as you look up towards the ceiling. “This is your fucking fault.” you seethe, slamming the safe door and pushing up out of the chair. 

You shut off the lights in the garage, and make your way back into the house slamming the door behind you as you place the money on the counter. Daniel places the sandwich on a paper plate, turning and filling a solo cup with water from the sink. “Sun’s down.” he says, looking out the kitchen window.

“I know, go take that and come back out, we need to have a drink so we don’t look so goddamn anxious.” you say, watching him walk off with the plate as he nods. 

You snatch a bottle of half drank whiskey off the counter, pouring it into one of the glass cups on the table, shooting it back as you watch him open the door to your bedroom. You wonder what she’s doing in there. You know that book won’t occupy her for long. You try to remember if there is anything in there she shouldn’t see, but you also don’t give a fuck. You don’t have nothin’ to hide. 

You refill the glass and a minute or so later Daniel emerges from your bedroom with a stifled grin. You curse under your breath and shake your head as you grab another glass and pour the whiskey in. You slide it across the table as he approaches, snatching it up and tipping it to his lips. “Heard a car pull up.” he says, drinking down the rest of it. 

“You got some protection?” you ask lowly. His eyes flick to yours as he pulls up the side of his shirt revealing his pistol. 

“Okay, good. Grab the door.” you instruct letting your eyes flick down towards the hallway. “Fuck I hope she stays in there.” you gripe, standing from the chair to grab the poker chips. 

“She will.” he smirked, heading towards the front door.

—

Your eyes flicked down to the cards in your hands trying your best not to show your disappointment. You set them down on the felt topper, pulling a cigarette from the pack, and lighting it with the flick of your zippo. Your eyes glanced over to Daniel, and you could just tell by his posture that he was harboring a shit hand, too. You were both tanking, badly. The guys across from you were murmuring to each other with shit eating grins as they played their cards, sipping from their drinks and smoking their cigars. Fucking pricks.

You hated this shit. You hated poker, you always had. Your dad taught you when you were young, too young probably. Said you’d need the skill one day, and fuck him for being right. But maybe if he had been a better player you wouldn’t be in this spot right now. Maybe he wouldn’t have done what he did. The pressure to win these games was suffocating, all of it riding on you and Daniel. You’d gotten lucky the past few games, winning the pot before immediately turning it over to Teddy. What a joke. But tonight you weren’t sure you had luck on your side. Your shit hand combined with Daniel’s, along with the woman hiding out in your bedroom had you feeling anything but lucky. There was a reason there was a weapon under your shirt.

You tossed back your drink and tamped out your cigarette butt as play rounded the table. Your eyes flick to Daniel to see what his next move will be, hoping he has a trick up his sleeve, but you see him swallow and you know he’s out. He sucked his teeth as his eyes met Teddy’s.

“I fold.” Danny said, his voice full of disappointment.

“God damnit.” You muttered under your breath as Danny flipped his cards down, scooting his chair put and leaning it back. You looked down at your hand, seeing that it wasn’t going to get you anywhere, either. You ran your hand over your face, knowing that you had to figure something out, and quick. 

“Awww, youngin’ throwin’ in so early? We’ve barely gotten started.” Teddy reached out and tapped his fat cigar onto the ashtray, laughing hard and loud as he stuck the wet end back between his teeth. His comrades laughed along, peering out from underneath their low-brimmed hats. 

Among all the people at the table, Teddy was the shadiest of them all. A big man, more in stature than in weight. Most people called him Fridge, because one time during a bar fight, he lifted up a whole refrigerator to knock a guy out. Teddy was the head honcho of the crew that worried you the most, always using his big mouth and his big ego to scare people into doing whatever he wanted. And it worked. He had his hands in nearly everything around town, controlled more than just owning the laundromat downtown. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that laundromat was used for laundering more than just clothes. 

His posse was small, but they were close-knit, the same three guys stayed by his side at almost all times. Teddy took another swig of his flask, not trusting you and Danny enough to drink what you’d provided. You glanced around to the other 10 or so men playing, taking in each of their facial expressions as you studied their poker faces. 

Clancy, an older gentleman who always brought his brother John along… They normally stayed pretty quiet, and that’s always what irked you the most. Bird and Joey were hot heads, a set of friends that reminded you a lot of you and Danny, but twenty years in the future. Bird liked to talk a lot of shit, just like Teddy did, and 9 times out of 10, them always trying to one-up the other is usually what set these games going south in a hurry. And now that Danny had folded, you were in it alone. Save for Bubba, of course. 

The new face that had decided to grace your presence tonight was a stout middle aged man, dressed just like he’d emerged from the 1940’s; a slick long black jacket, a vest underneath, and a derby hat that looked like it was steam cleaned weekly. He had stayed fairly quiet the whole game, acting as though he was just taking everything in. But his demeanor was confident…the man knew every character at this table was taking him in, too. 

Your nerves were shot, the liquor wasn’t nearly enough to take the edge off, and you felt your blood begin to boil as Teddy continued his verbal assault on everyone that he could. His voice was just…grating. And it never let up. 

“On that note, I gotta piss. Let’s take five, eh?” Teddy suggested as he stood from his chair, his posse mumbling and standing along with him. You were glad he did, you felt like you were going to punch something if he said another fucking word about anything. 

You made a quick glance to Bubba to get his attention, then proceeded to close your eyes for a prolonged 3 seconds. When you opened them, you found him looking back, with the same straight laced grin he gave everyone.

Be careful, Bubba. Here goes nothin’…

The entire drunken group stood and made their way through the narrow passage and out the back door to the abandoned vehicle lot, standing around in their respective groups to talk and smoke. You brought up the rear, and barrelled through the door, letting it slam against the wall as your eyes searched for Danny in the darkness. Finally you spotted him in a cloud of smoke around the back corner of the building. 

“What the fuck!” You slammed his shoulders against the metal wall, watching as his facial expression immediately hardened. “Folding on the second fucking hand? Are you even trying?”

He bounced off the wall and shoved you back, making you kick up a little dust with your heels. “Do you think I fucking wanted to, Jake? I had a fucking 3-5 hand, no god damn way I was gonna win anything on that. And keep your fuckin’ hands off me…”

He shoved you again in a backwards act of repentance, which made you even more enraged than you were before. Your mind went fuzzy with it all, having to play the rest of this game by yourself, having to deal with Teddy and these guys, and also having to host this god damn game whenever he saw fit. Lately it didn’t seem like you ran your own life, but that it was running you. 

You glanced around, seeing the crowd slowly making their way over, but no Bubba. 

“Maybe if you got to work on time and worked a little harder we wouldn’t fuckin’ be in this mess.” He mumbled. 

Oh, don’t even. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He threw his smoke to the ground, pushing his back off the wall and bucking up to you. “It means, that lately it seems like I’m the only one getting shit done around here. Movin’ shit in and out of the place. Fuck Jake, you’ve been rebuilding the same damn motor for weeks.”

“Fuck you, don’t tell me how to run my own god damn business.” You spat back, your face craned up and within inches of his. “I can change the locks faster than you can fuckin’ count to three.” You shoved him again, basically asking for it at this point. 

“You wanna fuckin’ bet?” He was shoulder checking you now, and you felt it coming. The same way it always did. You couldn’t stop your left hook from rolling up from the bottom, popping him right in the cheek. It was seconds before he retaliated, his strong right fist bouncing off the side of your skull. From there, it continued. You exchanged blows, back and forth while you scuffled to the ground, laying hits to each others’ ribs as the dirt turned to dust around you. 

Before long, all of the guys had heard the commotion and came running to see the show. Both of you back on your feet now, fists raised and ready to box. “Come on, you son of a bitch, you wanna do this now? Let’s go…” Danny muttered as he hopped lightly on his feet, egging you on. 

You lurched forward, getting Danny one good time in a spot that you knew would piss him off, right in the temple. You continued exchanging hits left and right, even bringing the fight to a little bit of unfairness, using your knees to bring each other down even more. The cheers that had surrounded you were muffled now, all you could hear were your ears ringing and your blood pumping. You knew your nose was probably bleeding, and your muscles were on fire with adrenaline. 

“Alright, alright boys! God damnit, stop!” You heard Bubba’s voice come between you, making the two of you step away from each other. “What the hell is wrong with you? We’re in the middle of a damn game! Back inside, all of yeh.” He commanded as the group dispersed, everyone heading back into the shop. 

You felt Teddy’s giant hand hit the back of your neck, wincing at the snap of pain he inflicted. “Little Jacob, the two of you just can’t keep your hands off each other, can ya?” He bellowed a harsh, smoke-filled laugh as his minions echoed him. You glanced through the corner of your eye to see the unfamiliar face, puffing on a pipe of his own with the other hand in his pocket, his eyes squinted at you as you walked along. 

—

HER POV

You pulled yourself away from the window, listening to the scuffle happening just beyond it. You recognized Danny’s voice, his bellowing timbre easily distinguishable. You wondered who he was fighting, and why he was fighting. You realize now why they stashed you in here, but that didn’t make you any less nervous. After a few minutes the yelling died off and you figured the fight was probably over, your mind racing wondering if Danny was okay, and how the other guy must have looked.  

You paced around the room trying to slow your heart rate, the small room not giving you much space. You paused as you met the dresser, noticing a stack of items, books mostly. Your eyes traveled over the stack wondering if these items would give you any type of insight to the man who occupied this room. Your eyes caught a soft back book, buried deep under a pile of notebooks on the dresser. It had a green cover, and a photo of a school on the front. The top of the cover, in bright white lettering, read ‘St. James Elementary School, 1965’. Oh my god, you were probably in this. You began flipping through the black and white pages, seeing a few barely familiar faces here and there as you read about the various activities the school partook in that year. 

You knew you’d left halfway through this exact year, but you vaguely remembered your last picture day at this school. Sure enough, a few pages later, you found your photograph amongst the rest of your classmates. You’d never seen this photo of yourself before. You were tiny, only 9 and in the third grade. Your hair was a frazzled mess, the collar of your shirt flipped up and crinkled. You smiled, remembering the good old days. A few pages back showed you 6-year-old Danny, and a few forward a ten-year-old Jake, his right arm wrapped in a cast from falling out of the Sycamore tree. 

You looked at the sandwich that sat on the dresser, still contemplating whether or not you really wanted to eat it. Going with your starving gut, you forced it down. Danny did make it for you, after all. 

As you swallowed the last bite, you heard a loud crash come from the other side of the wall, what sounded like a beer bottle smashing against the wall, and shattering. It was followed up by the muffled sounds of yelling voices, more slams and more screeches…it was getting so loud that you started to panic. You tried to tune it out, push it away, and after a few minutes it quieted, only to return again with a vengeance. 

Are they okay? Is Bubba there? 

You needed a distraction. 

You looked across the floor, noticing an old tattered book lying by the dresser. Its cover was torn and oily from Jake’s hands; he must love this one. It made your heart skip a beat that he likes to read, and could recite poetry, given that it didn’t fit his outright personality in the least. 

You let yourself get lost in the pages, using the story to distract yourself from the loud noises happening just thirty feet away. The last time you’d glanced at your watch, it was after 1am, and you felt your eyes getting heavy. 

Damn, you could really use a shower and a pair of pajamas right now. But instead, you kicked off your shoes and jeans, folding them in a pile on the floor. You pulled the bedsheets back, finding them slightly stained, but clean nonetheless. Probably just as clean as the motel sheets if you were honest. The immediate smell of Jake’s Brut aftershave filled your senses, and you found yourself taking in the scent of him as you wrapped yourself in his sheets. You could smell his hair, his musk of his skin, the lingering scent of oil and the remnants of the laundry detergent he used sparingly. It felt strange, being in someone else’s bed, but at this point, you didn’t dare run away to the chaos that was happening outside the door. You felt safe in here, strangely enough, in this perfect stranger’s bedroom. 

The only thing that would be better, was if Danny had stashed you in his room, instead. 

——

JAKE POV

You glanced over to the flashing clock on the microwave, 3:58am. The sun would be coming up soon, and you knew they weren’t leaving until the game was won. You had it though. You knew you had it, thanks to Bubba. How the fuck he pulled it off unseen you aren’t sure. Your little diversion with Daniel must have worked. You could feel your eye swelling as you blinked through the pain, a headache setting in deep in your head as the play rounded the table to you.

With nervous hands you laid your cards out on the table, licking your lips as you spoke, “Four of a kind.” Your eyes flicked up to Teddy as a sick grin crossed his face. 

“The boys’ done it again, folks.” he shouted, causing everyone to lay their losing hands out on the table, sending you dirty looks. They all start to push away from the table, throwing their money into the center before storming off through the front door. 

The game was over, and you by some miracle, had won. 

Teddy stayed seated at the table, crossing his arms behind his head as he stared at you with a disgusting smile. You grabbed your portion of the money and added it to the pile, waiting until the others were out the door before pushing it forward to him. His minions began gathering the cash into a bag, as Teddy sat sipping the last of the whiskey straight from the bottle. 

“You know boy, your father’d be proud of yeh.” he said, his voice grating at your every nerve.

“My father left me to clean up his fucking mess.” you said, standing from the table as they loaded the last of the cash. You walked over to the sink as Daniel stood from the table. “Good game. Thanks.” he said, disappearing down the hallway.

Teddy stood and patted you on the back, tamping out his cigar in your kitchen sink, “You have a nice night now, ya hear?” and with that he and his shadows made their way out of your front door.

“God fucking damnit.” you breathed, letting out the breath you’d been holding for what felt like most of the night.

Daniel reemerges from the hallway, beginning to collect glasses from the table. “The fuck was all that about?” he asks, clearly knowing you picked that fight on purpose. 

“I had to. I was about to fold. Thank god they called a break.” you paused, turning to look at his swollen cheek. “Bubba…”

“Yeah, I know.” he said, placing the glasses on the counter. He walks back over to the table to start cleaning up the poker chips, a small laugh leaving his chest. “A little warning would’ve been nice.” 

You smirk, and nod. “Needed to be believable. Worked didn’t it?” 

He laughs again, “This time. We’re kind of shit at poker, you know?” 

“Fuckin’ terrible.” you said, shaking your head with a smile. 

“She good in there?” he asks, leaning on the doorframe.

“Don’t know. Haven’t been in there. Haven’t seen or heard anything, thank god. Assume she’s asleep.” you shrug.

“You sleepin’ in there?” he asks, tongue in his cheek.

“As opposed to where?” you question. 

“Don’t fuckin’ know, just a question.” he snaps back.

“Suppose I am then. All two hours. Fuckin’ head is pounding though so maybe not.” you tout.

He nods his head and disappears down the hallway again, hitting the lightswitch as he walks. You hear his bedroom door shut leaving you to the quiet house filled with dissipating smoke. You grab a beer from the fridge, and take a seat at the table, dropping your head into your hands. How the fuck did I end up here pops? Why’d you do this to me? To us? We’re barely making it.

You pop the lid off the bottle and bring it to your lips letting the cold liquid glide down your throat, hoping to quell the hunger in your stomach for another night. Your eyes flick over to your bedroom door. The light is off, and you wonder if she’s asleep. She was in there so long… she probably had to piss. Fuck how did this happen? 

You tightened your fist, feeling the pain settling in. Your skin felt tight and grimey and you could feel the blood on your face. You swallowed down the rest of the beer, tossing the bottle into the trashcan as you made your way to the front door. You pulled it open checking to make sure no one was lingering before locking it up for the night, heading towards the bathroom. 

You flicked the shower handle on, knowing it would be a few minutes before it warmed up. You quickly ran your toothbrush over your teeth as you stripped out of your clothes, setting your gun on the bathroom counter. You took notice of just how disgusting your bathroom was, but shit it was only you and Danny. Why did you care? 

You wet your razor and dragged it harshly against your skin, for a quick dry shave. You stepped into the shower, letting the hot water rinse away the grease and grime the best it could. You snatched the green soap from the ledge and lathered your body, the sting catching you off guard as you ran your soapy hands over the cut on your face. You washed your hair as quickly as you could, knowing that your sleeping hours were growing shorter by the second. You flicked the handle off and grabbed your towel from the bar, running it over yourself and wrapping it around your waist. You slapped on a little bit of aftershave and ran your fingers through your hair, before deciding you’d spent long enough in the bathroom.

You grabbed your gun and turned off the light, crossing the hallway to your closed door, pausing for a second with unease about what you were about to walk into. You quietly twisted the knob and found that your window was cracked open, letting a breeze flow through the room. Your eyes traveled towards your bed finding Y/N in a dead sleep beneath your sheets. You swallowed hard at the image of her asleep on your pillow, completely unable to conjure a memory of the last time you let a girl sleep in your bed, because quite frankly, you didn’t do that.

You set the gun on the dresser, pulling open the top drawer to fish out a pair of boxers, dropping your towel and sliding them onto your legs. You picked up the towel and ran it through your hair again, before throwing it over your closet door. You grabbed your gun and set it on the nightstand as quietly as you could, trying not to wake her. You went to grab the sheets, but stopped yourself. Should you? No.  You push the sheets over to the side to see your book laying open beneath them. You huff a laugh through your nose, a small smile crossing your lips at the thought of her laying in here reading your favorite book while you were trying not to get the shit beat out of you just thirty feet away.

You grabbed it and placed it on the nightstand, seeing she made a substantial dent, before sliding into the bed next to her. It almost felt wrong sleeping without blankets but you didn’t want to cross a line. She probably didn’t even consider that you would sleep in here either. Danny didn’t.

You tried to settle yourself as softly as you could, really trying to avoid the awkward interaction when really you just wanted to sleep. She rolled a little bit as the bed dipped down, her bare leg peeking out from the dark sheets. Your eyes traveled the expanse of exposed skin, remembering that earlier she was in jeans. Your eyes flicked to the floor seeing them folded in a neat pile at the foot of the bed. Fuck me, shes half naked too. Fuck.

You let out a sigh and placed your hands behind your head, letting your mind swirl with thoughts as you tried to will them to slow down enough to let you close your eyes. A soft noise leaves her lips, a gentle hum as she pulls the blanket up towards her face. You turn to look at her, and you swear you can almost smell her shampoo if you think about it hard enough, letting a tingle slide through your body at the unfamiliar fragrance. You turn on your side just watching her for a minute, the way her lips are slightly parted and her eyes are darting around. You wonder what she’s dreaming about. You wonder if she’s scared. Although if she was truly scared, would she have fallen asleep so comfortably in your bed?

Her skin glows in the dim light peeking through the window. You want to touch her. You resist the urge as a breeze drifts through the room causing a few strands of her hair to fly across her face. She’s sort of pretty now that you can look at her for a few minutes. Her hair, so shiny and smooth, her lashes so long and thick, her hands so small and clean as they rest next to her mouth. Actually, she’s really pretty. Maybe even beautiful. Your hand lifts and draws near to her cheek, her skin looks so soft you think maybe if you could just touch it one time you would be satiated enough to fall asleep, but you quickly retract it knowing this is not right. She wouldn’t want this. You’re fairly certain she has a thing for Daniel, or so it seemed, and Daniel didn’t seem too happy with the thought of the two of you sleeping together. 

Her foot moves, her toes barely grazing your leg, sliding through your leg hair causing you to swallow quickly at the sensation. You want her to do it again. Touch me. Please. Do it again. But instead you move your leg away. Your brain is screaming out for the touch of someone else. To feel a touch that isn’t rough and aggressive. Something soft and gentle. Something like her.

It’s been some time since you’d been this intrigued by a woman, and you aren’t quite sure why, or how she’s managed to do it in just two days. You want to know her. You want to touch her; feel her skin on yours. You want to step inside the mind of this poem loving, free spirited, firecracker of a woman that stumbled into your shop. You want to do all of that and more, but you can’t. She’s his, or atleast wants to be.

You roll to your stomach, letting your wet hair fall over your back as you tuck your arm under your pillow. Your eyes are trained on her, slowly blinking closed as you struggle to focus on her dark silhouette, wondering how you’re going to get her out of the mess she’d walked into.

—

HER POV

It was the strong smell of Jake that woke you, his scent of aftershave and soap drifting across your nose in your early morning, half-asleep state. Before you open your eyes, you force your mind to think about last night, what happened, and where you had ended up. 

Jake’s bed. Safe and sound. 

You peeled one eye open to a sight that made your breath catch in your lungs. Jake was lying on his stomach next to you, one hand under his pillow, the other curled up underneath him. You smiled a little; you hadn’t seen him in this state of vulnerability yet. It was like his hardened exterior didn’t even exist in this peaceful state. His pink lips were parted, the tiniest wisp of air escaping through them. His eyelids moved back and forth while he dreamed, and you couldn’t help but notice that his hair was just a little bit damp from his apparent shower earlier. He looked clean. 

Once your senses began to come to life, you heard the faint sound of rustling out in the bay, most likely Danny getting his day started already. You sat up a bit and noticed that Jake was lying on top of the comforter, no blanket at all to cover his sleeping body. Why didn’t he get underneath? Wasn’t he cold? And upon closer examination, you noticed that he had a black eye…busted lip and cheek…bruised hand? What the fuck?

Was it him fighting Danny last night?

Couldn’t have been…

You maneuvered yourself a little bit in the bed to stretch, pulling yourself out from underneath the covers. It woke him just enough to turn over, and when he flipped, his hand barely brushed your hip, his fingertips lingering just above your pantyline. 

This should not be sending your stomach into a fit of excitement like it is, fuck. 

You glanced down to see his tattoo-covered fingertips resting gently on you with the background of your baby pink panties behind them. His fingertips weren’t rough and calloused, but more toughened and strong. His fingers tightened their grip and jerked every few seconds, the tiny movements making your mind think thoughts it shouldn’t be. Something about the scene looked all too kinky, and you rolled your eyes at the visual, committing it to memory. His fingers burned into your skin and you briefly wondered if it would feel that way all the time. 

Suddenly the music in the bay got ten times louder, and you knew that it was Danny telling Jake to get the fuck out of bed. Jake’s eyes opened as fast as lightning as he got his bearings, rolling his tongue over his teeth as he wet his mouth. When he noticed you were there, it was like all his memories found him again in the blink of an eye. He blinked to you, offering you a tiny smile before he noticed where his hand was still sitting. 

When he did, he ripped it away. “Fuck, sorry.” He rolled away, the snake tattoo running down his back catching your eye a little more now as you could see the cascading scales up closely. 

“It’s okay.” You murmured, feeling his embarrassment. You rolled from the bed too, feeling somewhat uncaring of the fact that he essentially just saw you in your panties. Oh fuckin’ well. You stood and walked to the end of the mattress and found your jeans, shaking them out as you stood before Jake, still sitting perched on his side of the bed. 

He cleared his throat and looked away before standing and grabbing a random shirt from the floor. He quickly yanked it over his head, searching for a pair of jeans and once he found them he slid them on quickly and made his way toward the door, leaving you getting dressed all alone. 

“Sorry I fell asleep here…I could’ve slept on a couch, or something…” you muttered, jumping a little as you slowly pulled the tight denim jeans over your thighs. 

You watched as he caught himself watching you, snapping himself from the scene before clearing his throat again. “Um, it’s fine. Thanks for hiding out. We um… We don’t have a couch…”

“Oh…” you breathed, buttoning your jeans. 

He stood nodding, his bottom lip bitten hard between his teeth as he fought himself to look at you. 

“Well.” He turned, without another word, and made his way back out. You gave him a second before you followed him out, wanting to pee and rinse your morning breath away with a bead of toothpaste and your finger. When you made it to the bathroom, though, you were met with Jake again, standing and brushing his teeth in the mirror. “Sorry.” You apologized, turning to stand with your back against the wall of the hallway. 

It was mere seconds before he stepped out into the hall, toothbrush still in his mouth, and motioned for you to go ahead and take the bathroom. “I’ll rinse in the kitchen.” You gave him a quick smile before ducking away to do your business. 

After a minute you emerged, opening the door to find Jake pulling on his coveralls, a cigarette hanging from his lips already. “Why don’t you have any soap in your bathroom?” You asked, wiping your hands on your jeans from the water-wash. 

He looked at you with one eye, shrugging his shoulders as he pulled his hair back into a low bun. He picked the cigarette from his mouth as he exhaled the smoke into the air, a tiny wisp of hair falling in his face. “Look around. Does it look like we wash much of anything ‘round here?”

Without another word, he walked back through the door to the bay, and you let the smoke of his cigarette hit your face as you followed him. 

“Ohhhh, goodmorning, you two! How did you sleep?!” Danny yelled out across the bay overtop of a loud Lynyrd Skynyrd song. “Actually, wait. Don’t answer that. Spare me the dirty details, I don’t need a visual.”

“Fuck you, Danny.” You spat at him before you could even stop yourself. You heard Jake chuckle under his breath. “There are no dirty details.”

“Oh, that’s right! Jake actually took a shower last night. Guess they wouldn’t be too dirty, would they?” Danny quipped back. 

Jake sighed, pinching his nose. “Daniel, it’s too fucking early, and your music’s too fuckin’ loud, and my head hurts too fucking bad from your cheap shot to my skull last night. Can you please pipe the fuck down.” Jake chirped as he stood up on the top step of his ladder. 

“Hmm, I would, but it looks like you already did the piping last night, eh Y/N?” Danny said through a shit-eating grin. Your jaw dropped at his insinuation, but it was also kind of amusing. 

“Daniel I swear to fuckin’ god if you don’t stop it, we’re going back out to the parking lot.” Jake yelled, throwing a handful of nuts and bolts at Danny. “You’ll be the one getting a damn black eye this time, you asshole.”

Danny had ducked behind the vehicle he was working on to avoid the flying metal, laughing as he stood back up unscathed. “Fuckin’ try it, Jake!”

You watched as Jake bit his cheeks in, trying like hell to talk himself out of jumping off the ladder and launching himself toward Danny’s waiting threat. 

“Nah, actually, you know what?” Danny slammed his rag down on the opened hood of the car. “I’ve already been at work for two hours. I’m taking an early lunch. Y/N, you want breakfast? It’s omelet day at Louie’s. My treat.” He began pulling his arms from the sleeves of his coveralls, and tying them around his waist. 

“Uh, sure, I…I guess.” You answered, scared to say no. “We taking Ruby?”

“Oh, there’s my girl. Ready to hop back on and ride…” Danny sucked his teeth as he walked toward you, tossing you the key to his bike. “You can handle it this morning, right Jake? Your own fucking business?” 

You glanced to Jake as he distracted himself with his head buried deep in the guts of a Chevy, not bothering to look your way. 

Danny wrapped his arm around your neck as he turned you around, shuffling you out the door. “Bye Jake, don’t wait up!”

——

DANNY POV

Noooonono. No way he is making his way into your territory like this. Not this time.This is your turf. 

You and Y/N rounded the corner of the building to the wide awning out back where you kept your various motorcycles and important parts, and of course, Ruby. Y/N tossed the keys back to you as you straddled the back of the bike, scooting forward as you started it up and revved the engine loud, mostly to get on Jake’s nerves. 

You held your hand out, palm up, over your shoulder, waiting for Y/N to grab it as she slid in behind you. When she got comfortable, and her entire front was pressed against your back, you kicked the stand and took off. 

God, the chemistry you felt every time you were around this girl was making your head spin. She made you feel different, made you feel like you’d ditch your little black book of phone numbers, made you think about never wanting to take another woman home from the bar ever again. She gave you that tiny feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t explain any other way, other than excitement. And it was growing every day. 

It felt good to have her all to yourself again, and even after the chaos and calamity of last night, and her ultimately having to stay in Jake’s room, you knew deep down that they probably didn’t hook up…you didn’t think so, at least. 

And if they really didn’t, Jake had a lot more self-control than you thought he did. 

You felt her hands squeeze around your stomach as you rounded the curve a little faster than she was used to, earning a little laugh from you. You felt the strands of her hair tickling the backs of your shoulders as the morning sun shone down, and you were itching to get her to the next destination, so you could get her as alone as possible. 

But first, breakfast. 

“The western omelet is my favorite, but also you can’t go wrong with three-cheese.” You advised Y/N as Geraldine poured the hot coffee directly from the glass carafe. 

“Honey we can make ya whatever ya want, just say the word.” You watched as Geraldine shot her a sweet wink. 

“The western omelet sounds great, thank you ma’am.” Y/N smiled back as she sipped her coffee. 

“I’ll take you back to your motel after this, so you can not feel like a prisoner for a little while.” You told her, stirring the sugar into your coffee. 

“Shit, you don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that. I feel like I’ve had the same clothes on for weeks.” She sighed hard and her face lit up. 

“You’ve been here for like, three days, Y/N.” You teased with a wink. 

“God, you’re right…and so much shit has already happened! Maybe this actually is where my adventure was supposed to occur.” 

You furrowed your brow. “What adventure?”

She cleared her throat as she readjusted herself in her seat. “Remember when you asked me what I was running from?” 

You nodded. 

“Well, I kinda was running, kinda not. My fiancé and I had just broken up, and I set out looking for a big life adventure, ya know. I never got to go out and do the things I really wanted to do, be wild for a bit. See more than just little old Salvation.”

“…And you found yourself right back here in fuckin’ Joslyn.” You added.

“Ugh, yeah.” She rested her chin in her hands. “Atlanta feels so far away now…” she was staring out the window, watching two birds fight over a discarded French fry. 

You pulled her hands down, taking them in yours. “But you’re at least getting to experience the adventure part, right?”

A sly smile shot across her lips as she bit them in. “Yeah, it’s definitely been a ride so far.” She squeezed your palms. Fuck, she makes your heart beat fast. 

“What other things did you hope to experience on this life-changing trip?” You added, craning an eyebrow and releasing her hands. 

“Well, I wanted to meet new people, make some friends…I wanted to swim in a river, climb to the top of the highest mountain in every state I visited, just so I can say I did. I wanted to try new foods, go dancing, visit farmers markets and eat tomatoes right off the vines down south…I wanted to go wild. I hadn’t…my life had been so cookie-cutter for so many years, I didn’t get to enjoy it. My formative years, ya know? Sow my oats…” her tongue clicked at that last part, instantly making your dick jump. You knew exactly what she meant. 

You felt like you wanted to jump across the table. “All of those things sound like a lot of fun, Y/N. I hope you get to do them all one day…” your voice was flat, your heart rate picking up with each passing second. You don’t know why, but at that very second, you wanted to give her each and every one of the things she listed, and more. You wanted to help her. Be there with her to live out her forgotten dreams.  

“I hope I do too, Danny…” her eyes were bored into yours, her look soaking deep into your bones like no other woman had before. Fuck. 

After a long pause, she spoke again. “Will you walk me into my room when we get back? Check it out…? After last night, I…”

“Absolutely. I’ll walk you in. And I’ll fix your television.”

“How did you know it was broken?” She seemed surprised. 

“Noticed when I picked you up the other night. And nothing ever fucking works at that shit hole.” You explained. She smiled, a genuine smile that was begging you to keep going, keep talking to her, keep asking her about her life. 

So you did. Until breakfast was over, and it was time to leave. You paid Geraldine, and she waved you off with a wrapped-up biscuit for Jake. He’d get it later. 

The ride back to the motel was way more intense than the ride to Louie’s; it was almost as if her hands were burning holes in your skin. You held your left hand on her thigh just like you had before, squeezing it in all the right places. The confidence she had the first night you rode came back full-force. Her thumb hooked in your belt, her other fingers hanging right above your groin. Her other hand worked to hold her own hair back from her face, and you wished to God you had a photograph of the two of you right now. 

Her free hand drifted around your abdomen, running her fingertips from your back, around your side, and to your stomach again…her legs squeezing together, her hot breath on your shoulder blade…fuck. 

“You’re making it really hard for me to concentrate on the road, Miss Thing.” You finally admitted. 

“Nooo, you’re a professional. You’re doing just fine.” She said in your ear, the proximity sending a chill down your spine. You swallowed back the lump in your throat, hoping to recenter yourself and conceal what was happening in your jeans. 

“Well thank you for the encouragement…”

“Is it helping?” She purred, her lips brushing your ear now. 

“Fuck yeah it’s helping, a little too much, actually…” you laughed as you pulled into the parking lot of the motel in front of room #7.

You both hopped off as you kicked the stand, finally facing each other after the whirlwind of a ride in. You watched as she flattened out her wind-blown hair, pulling a few pieces that had slipped into her mouth. You found yourself giggling at how cute she was, making your stomach fill with butterflies just watching her. What is happening?

You watched as she unlocked the door, turning slightly as she pushed it open to invite you in. You took one last look up and down the sidewalk to check your surroundings, and when you felt it was clear, you stepped inside, closing the door behind you. 

“It’s just really fuzzy, the picture sometimes comes across, but then it buzzes up again.” She explained as she moved the bunny ears on the top of the TV set. 

“Let me take a look.” You waltzed to the TV, pulling it out from its place a little bit and messing with the wires and connections. She stood watching the screen, giving you a play-by-play as you fiddled. 

“Oh, there— wait. Nope. Gone again. There! Yes, there!” She squealed when you finally got the picture to stay steady. “Perfect! Leave it right there!”

You stepped away, holding your hands up as if it would screw up again if you moved too fast. But there it was, the perfect picture on the old 70’s model screen. 

“Yes, thank you Danny!” She brought both hands around your neck in a tight, excited embrace, laying the sweetest kiss right to your cheek before stepping away again. Wow. 

“I’m gonna hop in the shower, if you don’t care to hang out? I’ll only be a second…” she explained as she took her earrings out, laying them neatly on the bathroom sink. 

“Take your time, Jake will be fine. I’ll wait.” You responded, knowing that Jake probably did owe you a little personal time. You made yourself comfortable on the bed while she slipped into the bathroom. You removed your coveralls and boots and laid back down. After about 15 minutes of some shotty version of the news, you heard the bathroom door click open, revealing Y/N wrapped up in two terry cloth towels. 

Shit…take your eyes off her…

She was snooping around in her suitcase on the opposite bed, obviously making a scene out of showing off a little leg for you. 

“Maybe I should have joined you in the shower, you smell phenomenal.” You quipped, trying to lean into the flirting again. 

“It was just whatever was laying on the counter, here. But yeah, maybe you should’ve…” She giggled, pulling her hair from the towel. She was absolutely fucking gorgeous, and she was cutting away at your heartstrings, one by one. You sat up on the bed when she came to sit beside you, and you were dying to kiss her, touch her, anything at all to feel her near you again. 

She was holding the towel together between her breasts, her legs curled up underneath her as she moved her body in toward you. 

“How about I join you next time?” You asked as she brought her face close to yours, your noses brushing just barely. Your heart was flying out of your chest…you could taste her breath on your tongue. 

“I’ll hold you to that…” she whispered, moving her lips to brush yours just barely. You leaned in, wanting to feel more of her….the barely-there kiss wasn’t nearly enough. You took her chin between your fingers, almost like you’d done a couple nights ago before you left her a panting mess. 

You let yourselves breathe together, your breath mixing together as you held yourselves back from what you really, really wanted to do. It was killing you, not ravishing her entire, dripping body, right here, right now. Fuck…Y/N…

“Will you just fucking kiss me already, Danny?” She breathed out, smiling through her words as she said them. 

That was all it took, you let yourself crash into her, your lips finally connecting in a fury. It was hot, but not rushed; you allowed yourselves time to explore a bit before diving in head first. Her lips were sweet and spicy, like a familiar candy you couldn’t place. And soft and smooth, and delicious…

She finally opened her mouth a bit to let you in more, her tongue barely brushing your lip before pushing in all the way, searching for yours. You let her find it, connecting them together in what felt like a meeting you’d been waiting for for years. She tasted even sweeter once you began deepening the kiss, both of you fighting the urge to let your hands begin to wander. You finally remembered to breathe, letting your lungs fill as your lips tingled, your eyes opening and flitting closed again as you watched her kiss you back. 

Her hand was still gripping her towel, while her other rested on your upper thigh, fingertips slowly digging in every few seconds as your bodies became more comfortable with each other. Suddenly she pulled away, her eyes meeting yours in a flustered fury. “God damn, you’re a good kisser.” She blurted out. 

“Really?” You laughed. 

“Yeah, yessss...you’re a very good kisser.” She touched her fingertips to her lips like she could feel you there still, her cheeks pink and flustered as she did so. You wanted to tell her to drop the fuckin’ towel, get your ass over here and straddle me, let me show you how good of a kisser I really am… but you didn’t. You’d rather move things along at the pace they were going. It was almost fun watching her make her own moves; just like you’d told her, she was a mystery, like a code you wanted to crack…

The next thing you knew, it was like your fantasies were slowly becoming real life. She stood from beside you on the bed, releasing her hold on the towel, letting it fall to the floor. Her naked body stood before you, still a bit damp and blotchy from her hot shower. You felt no shame in letting your eyes rake over her body, biting your lips in as you did so. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous, Y/N…” you said, wringing your hands together in your lap. “I’m speechless…” 

She blushed a little, tilting her head to the side as a little bit of hair fell in front of her eye. She pulled it back, slotting it behind her ear. “Thank you, Danny.” 

She crawled into the bed behind you, slipping under the covers and pulling them up around her neck. She held her pointer finger up and wiggled it, signaling for you to come with her. 

Don’t gotta ask me twice. 

“I’m still a little dirty from work, baby…”

“Then go wash your hands and get back here…” she urged.

And you did. Really, really well. You splashed some water on your face, and even up your arms a bit. You rushed back into the room, stopping short of the bed to rip your t-shirt from your body. You lifted the sheets back to lay down next to her, your hands finding each other's bodies almost instantly. Your mouths met each other’s with a quickness again, your hands in such a flurried mess you could hardly tell which way was up, and which was down. 

Her hands tangled in your long curls, and your hands wrapped around her barren thighs with so much force you thought you might leave bruises. She was fuckin’ perfect…

She pulled you in by the hair, the swift action making your dick twitch again. You felt her tits pressed against your chest as you kissed her, making you growl with anticipation. You reached under her leg, pulling her closer so it hitched over your hip. You tried to pull the visual that her legs were spread wide across your lap, just barely out of view under the sheets. 

Her light moans and whines were killing you, and the more you pulled on each other's skin, the more you couldn’t stand it anymore. You had to have her. 

“I’m havin’ a really hard time not touchin’ you the way I want to, Y/N…” you breathed once as you came up for air. 

“How do you wanna touch me?” She asked, making your brain feel like it was fried. 

You craned your body up to hover over her, watching her chest rise and fall as she caught her breath. Her hand lifted up to wipe the sheen of sweat that had started to collect on your forehead, making you feel like you wanted to come undone already. 

You balanced, using one hand to gently touch her face… “Here…then here…” you let your single fingertip trace down her cheek, then her neck, then down to round off her tit. She bucked up, her hips lifting from the bed at your light touch. 

“Here…” your finger drifted down the center of her sternum, and down to her stomach, stopping short at her bellybutton. A soft moan escaped her throat, letting you know she was enjoying it, as featherlight as it was. “But mostly…” your finger drifted lower, stopping right above her slit. You brought your lips to hers again, kissing her deeply while leaving your finger a centimeter away from her clit. “Here…”

You both jumped hard at the shrill sound of the room phone ringing, breaking you away from the heated place you’d found yourselves in. 

“Fuck!” Y/N yelped, feeling the same immediate frustration as you. 

“Just ignore it…” you pleaded. 

But she didn’t. She reached over to grab the phone from the receiver, answering it harshly. 

“Hello?” She asked, listening as the person on the other end yelled in her ear. Wanda. You could hear every word she was saying. Y/N’s brow furrowed hard as she pulled the phone away from her ear. “Okay, thanks.”

“It’s Wanda. Said she’s gonna connect Jake to you.” She held the phone out for you. 

“That motherfucker, I swear. I can’t get one second to myself…” you held it up, listening for it to finish ringing out. 

“Daniel.” You heard Jake’s voice come across. 

“What, asshole? I’m kind of in the mid—”

“I need you to get back here, ASAP, please.”

“Jake, I’m a little busy, I’ll be back soon.”

“Danny we have a visitor…he brought his bike to be fixed, and I don’t fix bikes.” He cut the sentence there, and you could tell he was moving his body away to talk more privately. 

“It’s Joey…and he’s acting really weird, man. He’s snooping around and shit…I know he has at least two weapons on him—”

“Why would he be snooping? We have nothing to hide…from him, at least…” you reasoned. 

“No, we don’t. Which is why I’m confused. I think he’s on a recon mission or some shit.” He sighed a deep breath. “Can you please just come diagnose this bike so we can get him the fuck out of here?”

“Yeah, shit. Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

“Tell her to lock her door and push the dresser in front of it when you leave. Tell her we’ll be back soon once we get this straightened out. This feels weird, Danny. I dunno…” you could hear the strange sound in his voice, and normally his gut was right. 

“Alright, give me just a few.” You handed her the phone and she hung it up and placed it back on the table as you grumbled in the bed beside her. “So much for an afternoon delight!”

“What was that about?” She asked as you pulled yourself from the bed. 

“I’ve gotta go. Some remnants of last night have trickled over into today, don’t need to leave Jake alone for it.” You pulled on your coveralls and boots as you looked back down to her, naked and alone in the bed. 

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m sorry. I feel like I keep leaving you high and dry.” You leaned a knee on the bed, taking her cheek in your hand. 

“Definitely not fucking dry, if we’re being honest…” she rolled her eyes. 

“Fuck…” you laughed, wanting to continue what you started so badly it was killing you. “I need you…I need you to pull the dresser in front of the door when I leave, okay? I’ll explain later, just. Lock the door, don’t let anybody in here. I shouldn’t be long.”

“What? Pull the dresser?! Danny, I’m getting sick of this, why do I need to hide?! I’m trying to get the fuck out of town!” You could tell her blood was boiling already. 

“I know, Y/N, but—”

“No buts, Danny. I’m sick of this. I’m a grown woman, I make my own decisions, and you’re treating me like I’m a child you’re not proud of. Hiding me away…” she got up from the bed and made her way to her suitcase, pulling on a large shirt. “Should you leave me a weapon? Am I going to have to fight someone off like you and Jake fought last night?!” She yelled, tears fighting to spring free. 

Just then, you heard a few loud engines trucking their way down the road in the direction of the shop. Whether or not they were going there, you weren’t sure, but…

“Listen. Pull the dresser. Lock the door. I will not be long.” You used a little bit of command, walking back to her and taking her face forcefully in your hands. You looked deep in her eyes as you tried to explain it all in 4 seconds, before laying your lips to hers in one last goodbye kiss. “I promise you I’ll explain it all soon. And I’ll come back and finish what we started here, hm? Okay?” 

This was so unfair to her. 

She ripped her face away, sending you out the door. “Just fuckin’ go.” She sent you the tiniest smirk as you backed out the door, giving you a sliver of hope that maybe she wasn’t entirely done with you and your shit. 

“I’ll be back, baby…”

———

“About fuckin’ time.” Jake spat at you as you walked through the metal door. 

“Jesus Christ, I got here as soon as I could.” You snapped back as you walked toward Joey and the bike. 

“Pretty long fuckin’ breakfast, if you ask me—”

You snapped your head around, stopping Jake in his tracks. “What, are you jealous? She was in your bed last night, not my problem if you didn’t make a move.”

You heard him huff a breath out his nose, and his lack of an answer let you know that no, they obviously didn’t hook up last night. Good. 

You strutted to Joey, immediately jovially greeting him. “Hey, Joe. How’s it goin’? What do we have going on here?” You squatted down to the bike that Jake and Joey already had propped up on the block. 

“Startin’ to lose power, I hardly made it up the hill, here. Got a funny smell, too.” Joey answered with his arms crossed. Joey hadn’t been riding his bike long, but he knew enough about it to know the simple answer to this problem. You watched as he shot his eyes back and forth around the shop, looking behind you to Jake, to the loft, to the back rooms… 

“When’d you change the filter last?” You inquired, trying to distract him from his wandering eyes. 

“Ah, couple months. Shouldn't be ready for a new one quite yet.” He replied, spitting his snuff directly onto the shop floor. As unclean as you and Jake were, that was one thing you both could not fucking stand. Jake’s head popped up from inside the Chevy, and you watched as he shook his head in disgust. 

“We’re around a lot of dust here, Joey. Check the fuel injectors?” You stood and walked to your tool kit, already knowing exactly how to fix his issue.

“Yup.” He nodded his head, giving you nothing more. This guy really isn’t as smart as you thought he was. 

“Hey, where’s that sweet little thing that’s been hangin’ round? She ain’t here?” Joey asked through his snuff-stained teeth. 

Your eyes met Jake’s for a split second. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about Joey?” 

“I seen her ‘bouts. Boy, if she ain’t a pretty penny, huh? Bet she tastes sweet up under them tight jeans, too. Mmmhm, I’d like to have me a piece of that—”

You stood quick, shaking your towel with one quick whip through the air as you met Joey’s eyes, silently threatening him to shut his fuckin’ mouth before you shut it for him. 

You squatted back down, and popped off a few pieces exposing the completely clogged air filter. You pulled it free, holding it up to Joey. “There’s your problem. Fuel injectors are probably clogged, too.”

These things were trashed. No way he just cleaned them. 

So he lied. Jake was right. He fed you a bullshit reason to get here, and stay here. Waiting for her. 

“Well I’ll be a sumbitch.” He cackled, spitting again. 

“Why don’t you watch me do this so you won’t have to come to me for such a simple fix next time…?” You offered. 

“What, is my money no good here?” He pressed, stepping forward. 

“Didn’t say that, Joe. Just figured you knew how to fix this, seein’ that you’ve been riding awhile now.” You tried to undermine his intelligence and the fact that you were on to him. Both of you. 

“But I’m more than happy to get you a new filter and clean these injectors. Take me five minutes. Then I’ll have your total on a bill upstairs.” You shot back, getting to work as quickly as possible. 

Within ten minutes, you had the bike fixed, hoping that that was the only problem he had. Routine maintenance wasn’t something you were too keen on doing, especially for someone like Joey. 

You handed Joey the bill as he pulled out a few tens from his wallet. “Ya know, Danny…it’s a damn good thing you mechanic better than you play poker, Jake too.” You watched his eyes shoot to Jake, still working up under the Chevy. “Shocking you keep winning, as shitty as you are. Strikes me as somethin’ a little more than luck, hm?”

Joey raised his eyebrow as your stomach sank. Were they onto what happened last night? No way…everyone was there watching you fight…

“Joey, this will make the second time I ask you what the fuck you’re talking about.” You said stoically, acting as though you truly had no clue. 

He laughed low, scanning his eyes up and down you. “Thanks for the tune up, son. Catch you boys elsewhere.” Joey said, spitting on the ground yet again as he hopped on the bike, pulling it out of the bay in a cloud of dust. 

Jake rolled the creeper out, a look of surprise written all over his face. “Fuck, have they caught on?”

“Hell if I know. But you were right. That was a recon mission. They are looking for her…” You slammed the towel down again, shutting all the drawers back on your tool kit. “He’s going to report back that she wasn’t here. They know where she’s stayin’, Jake.”

“Did she pull the dresser?” He asked, standing quickly from the floor. 

“Yeah, yeah. I told her to. She’s layin’ low. God, they’re gonna go after her aren’t they?” You suddenly felt a wave of nervousness shake your bones. What had you gotten her into?

Jake was already running to the wall, ripping his keys from the hook. “Yeah. They sure as fuck are. I’ll go get her. Get her shit from the Scout and lock the shop up. I’ll be back.”

And for the third time in three days, you listened to exactly what Jake told you to do, with no argument whatsoever. 

——

JAKE POV

Your tires spin as you pull out of the lot, your hand gripping the steering wheel as the other flicks open your zippo, holding the windblown flame to the tip of your cigarette. The metallic clink sounds particularly loud as you toss it to the bench seat. You pull the cigarette from your mouth letting the smoke dissipate through the window as you let out a sigh. “Man, fuck.”

You knew it only took six minutes to get from the shop to the motel but for some reason it felt like it had been twenty. You puffed on your cigarette a few more times, flicking it out the window as you pulled into the parking lot of the motel. You threw your door open and looked around, seeing not a soul in sight, but you knew Wanda was watching. Bitch.

You stepped up to her door, knocking three times as your heart raced with adrenaline. Open the door Y/N… “Hello? Who is it?” you heard her muffled voice say through the door. 

“It’s me. It’s Jake. Open the door.” you reply hastily, leaning on the door frame. You can hear her rustling around behind the door, hoping she’s moving the dresser out of the way. You hear the chain release and the door cracks open.

“Jake?” she questions, pulling it open a little wider. “What are you doing here? I thought Danny was coming back.”

“Well surprise, you get me instead. Try not to be too disappointed.” you quip, pushing the door farther open and stepping inside. You shut the door behind you, spinning the lock and making your way over towards her suitcase. “Pack your things, we’re leaving.”

“What? No?” she says, crossing her arms across her chest. “What’s going on? Where is Danny.” she demands.

“He’s at the shop. Please get your shit together, we’re running out of time…” you say a little more sternly, running your hand over your mouth. The nicotine in your system has you shaking a bit, or maybe it was the adrenaline, either way you were growing more anxious by the second and the more she pressed the more you unnerved you became.

“Why do I have to leave? Where am I going to go? I paid for this room for seven days!” she snaps, stomping her foot like an insolent child. You huff out a laugh before swallowing and attempting to regain your composure, trying to pretend that her defiance wasn’t kind of making your dick hard.

“Y/N, we’ve got five minutes tops to get the fuck out of this room. You can pack your shit, or I will pack it for you, and I can promise you won’t like it. So either get started or step aside.” you order. She cuts her eyes at you, pausing as she makes her decision. She storms over to her suitcase grabbing her things from the dresser and packing them inside. She glares at you as you lean against the wall, watching her pull her items from the closet. She walks over to the bed, and begins putting on her shoes, very clearly not happy that you’re ordering her around with no answers. You raise your eyebrows at her as you pull your keys from your pocket, spinning them around on your pointer finger before catching them in your hand. 

“You ready?” you ask, pushing off the wall towards her. You reach to grab the suitcase off the bed, shock shooting through you as she cowers away from you. Did she think you were going to hit her or some shit? Fuck, is she scared of you?

You watched her face grow red as she realized she made a jump reaction. You swallowed back the lump in your throat as you gently grabbed the suitcase from her side. She stood and turned off the TV, with her eyes cast to the floor in embarrassment. 

“Come on, we don’t have much longer.” you say as softly as you can, twisting the lock and opening the door. You look out to the lot, still seeing only your truck, and continuing out the door. You toss her suitcase in the bed, and slide into the driver's side, pulling the lock on the passenger side to let her in. Seconds later you were pulling out of the parking lot, making your way back to the garage. You light a cigarette and glance over to her, still seeing her arms crossed over her chest and a pink tint on her cheeks. You lean over and roll down the window just enough to let some air hit her skin, and you see her physically relax. Well, at least a little. 

You hold your cigarette between your fingers as you make your way down the empty road, glancing over at her again as she stares out the side window. You take another drag from your cigarette, gathering your nerve before tossing it out the window and placing your hand on the wheel. You swallow and turn to her. “I’m not going to hurt you, you know.”

She looks over at you, “I don’t know if that’s true.” she breathes. 

“I promise you. That’s the last thing I want.” you say, letting your right arm snake up over the headrests, your fingers resting dangerously close to her hair. You couldn’t push the image out of your mind of how it would look wrapped around your fist. How soft and silky it would be sliding through your fingers. Fuck. No. Stop.

“What do you want, Jake? Why do I have to leave the motel? Why won’t either of you tell me anything?” she cracks, letting the waver in her voice show her emotion. “I just wanted you to fix my car! I just wanted to get out of here…I–”

“I know. I know you did. And I will fix your car. I swear. I just– I need you to trust me, okay? Me and Daniel. Just trust us. I promise we are only looking out for you. We’re gonna get you fixed up and out of here as soon as we can. I promise.” you confess. And while that was true, it would be a lie if you said you were doing your most timely work. 

“I’m scared.” she admits, her hands fidgeting in her lap. You move your hand from the headrest, reaching down to calm her nervous hands, feeling her soft cool skin on your palm. “Of me?”

Her eyes flick down to your hand covering hers, before meeting your eyes. “No.” she answers far too quickly, pausing for a second and turning to look at you again, “Well, a little bit.”

Shit.

You nervously clear your throat, “Don’t be scared of me. I won’t hurt you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” you say, pulling your hand away from hers as you turn into the driveway of the shop.

She nods her head and straightens up her posture, “I still want to know what the hell is going on.” she demands.

You put the truck in park and pull the keys from the ignition, stepping out to grab her suitcase from the truck bed, nodding for her to follow you into the shop. You hear her shoes crunching in the gravel behind you as you make your way to the door, putting your key in the lock and pulling the door open. You let her walk in first, arms crossed over her chest as she disappears down the hallway. You lock the door behind you and set her suitcase down, pocketing your keys and setting off to find Daniel.

As you stepped into the kitchen you saw her standing near the sink, leaning into the countertop as Danny pulled her in for a hug, but before he could wrap his arms around her, she pushed him away, and created a bit of space between them. “No.” 

She pointed to the two wooden chairs at the kitchen table with a raised brow. “Both of you, sit.” she instructed.

A smirk pulled across your lips at her little show of power, so you did as she said, curious to see where this was going to go. You kind of liked when she got bossy, kind of made you wonder if– No. 

You crossed your leg over your knee and leaned back in the chair, pulling your carton of cigarettes from your pocket, and flicking your zippo to life. Daniel followed suit, taking the other chair and sending you a confused look and he popped the lid on his beer. You shrugged your shoulders and turned your attention back to Y/N.

She places her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes, glaring at the two of you with a look that could kill. You knew better than to fuck with a woman scorned, and goddamn if the sight didn’t have you hot under the collar. “Alright, you two are going to tell me what the fuck is going on here. Immediately.”

You let out a breath of smoke and turn to Daniel, who was rubbing his hands over his face in anguish. He looks over to you, and you nod in agreement, watching as he bites his lips together and lets his eyes flick up to hers. 

“Fuck. Alright. Let’s start with Ace…”

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[acotars]

full listen through complete, here are all my initial thoughts in one place

finally post malone delivering the vocals we always knew he had i love this man’s voice

gorgeous harmonies

i’m sorry charlie puth?????? depressing to hear wish she could unrecord that.

who’s gonna hold you like me? because we’re CRAZYYYY. who’s gonna hold you? — me. KILLLLLLL ME (me-e-e!)

my boy only breaks his favorite toys x my boy billie eilish mashup when

down bad waking up in BLOOD??? in BLOOD?????

staring at the sky chinese satellite moment ?? staring at the sky would’ve could’ve should’ve when i’m screaming at the sky moment??

and i’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free :(((( this makes my whole body ache

you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days and im just getting color back in my face :(

i’m having his baby!!!!!!!! first laugh of the album. so far it���s nothing but heart aching and then she’s like lol i’m pregnant jk lmao!!!

fresh out the slammer first second sounds like old western like guns drawn dueling in a ghost town

to the one who says i’m the girl of his american dreams UGH!!! i love her songwriting in this one it’s so mundane and winky. it’s so stolen moments of real life it’s so spoken word it’s so everything to me

my friends all smell like weed or little babies LMAO this feels like the sexy baby of ttpd

florence welch the woman that you are………

throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks / drove my car off the road to the lookout could’ve followed my fears all the way down

what if he’s written “mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind. INSANE LYRIC. insane lyric. terrifying horrifying lyric. she is a master

i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault and then LOWERCASE LOML. lowercase love of my life. lowercase loss of my life.

guilty as sin is the most painful breakup song i’ve ever heard it’s so awful it hurts so bad i can’t even think about it without crying

love the screaming in who’s afraid of little old me but i fear in some ways the lyrics feel more juvenile than the rest of the album

i can fix him is and cowboy like me are sisters

LOSS OF MY LIFE??????????? LOSS!!!! of my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

793 dead 1 bazillion injured

i can do it with a broken heart spotify video just being eras tour footage lol just shoot me. just shoot me in the chest

lights camera bitch smile 1 2 3 let’s go bitch

jehovah’s witness suit is exactly what i’m talking about with her lyricism it’s so real life details it’s so moments out of context turned into poetry

were you writing a book??? :((( :’(((( the desperation of wanting there to be a reason for it all and a reason for it all to be thrown away she’s so used to being used/mused :((((

the alchemy .,, i’ll pass. idc about this one sorry there’s too much matty and travis it makes me :/

YOU LOOK LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT???? AS THE OUTROOOOO she’s crazy for this she’s bonkers

i cried my way through clara bow and then started it over and cried again. and then spotify said oh did you want yoyok now??

[eternal--returned]

I just woke up to my second day out of the hospital. I went in to the ER with an ulcer flare that had drained my blood and made me weak on 11/6. For 11 days I laid in the hospital bed waiting to see if steroids would get the flare under control. In those days there was zero progress. Eventually they would place a feeding tube down my nose into my stomach. I had it in for three days before I had a vomiting fit and the tube came up with everything else. The 11 days were horrifying in the lack of improvement. I was slowly wasting away in the hopes that the inflammation would finally stop, but since I had lost so much weight and blood and strength we opted finally for surgery. The surgery would be life changing in many ways. They were going to cut me open using the same incision spot I had in February of this same year. That spot had healed so well and I was so proud of it. I was nervous about how the surgery would change parts of my life. They were removing my colon and placing an ileostomy and I would have to wear an ostomy bag that would hang from the right side of my abdomen for an unknown period of time and would some day be reversible. Thinking how that would change what I wear and ideas about what it would be like and how different taking care of that new appendage would be. I also knew the surgery would mean that I very likely will not have to deal with ulcer flares again because the source of it all would be eliminated. I would also eliminate my very rising chances of getting colon cancer at some future point.

The day of surgery brought at least SOMETHING - finally something different to try and to do. As I was wheeled down to the ER in the early afternoon, they were still working on getting the OR ready. I was set in my bed outside against the wall. With a few moments to myself I closed my eyes and felt strongly how much better I was about to feel. It was such a clear certainty that I was immediately buoyed up and I happily greeted all that would be working on me telling them how grateful I felt for how good they were about to make me feel. It brought in good energy and everyone smiled and seemed pleased and excited to get going.

After surgery I did feel immediately better. I knew progress would happen now. But I didn't have any clue that the next couple weeks would try me and break me past limits I had inside myself.

The first problem after surgery was that I just . . . couldn't pee. The simplest thing in the world. Apparently it's a very common occurrence for men post that particular surgery. I was told that if I couldn't pee in 6 hours that they had to ultrasound my bladder to check the fluid level and if I was above a very small amount they would have to cath me. I woke up from surgery with a full catheter installed during surgery. Hurt like a motherfucker when they pulled it out that same day. So my urethra already looks and feels all the way inside scraped and sore and dry. I did NOT want to be cathed again. It terrified me. It felt like such an invasion. I stared to obsess about peeing. I would try to calm myself: to relax my pelvis in different ways, patting my chest with my hand, thinking about being calm and outside in the sunshine, and music. Feel the Flow became the mantra I would repeat over and over in my mind. Then suddenly in a brilliant and funny and just really tender mercy . . . I thought of the song Orinoco Flow by Enya. I was like - omg, I have to make a Pee playlist and that will help me relax and get the message through my body to let it flow man - sail away sail away sail away. I got my playlist made. It ended up being about 3 hours of Enya and like that Return to Innocence song and one of those Gladiator songs and that Adiemus song. That playlist became so important. Enya became so important. I had my nice speaker on with Enya filling the room the whole rest of my stay. The whole time. My spotify stats for the year just got destroyed. I hadn't thought about Enya or listened to her music since high school. I think I had two of her albums, maybe three. I would fall to sleep to them all the time. But I hadn't listened to her in 25 years and suddenly it's all I wanted.

I couldn't pee though. Cathed. So unpleasant and I was getting near to breaking. I was a shaky mess and it took great effort to talk in a voice that sounded so fucking weak and weary. I was frayed. I was also on the clock. 6 hours until they would come check again, and if there was too much fluid, a cathening was coming.

I couldn't calm myself. The Enya stuff was helping, but I could think of nothing else but that soon I would be cathed again if I couldn't pee. I came up with a plan with my nurse. I told her to give me a 20 minute warning before she brought in the ultrasound machine so I could just go try one final time. No luck. No pee. The pleading I did there in that bathroom. I was begging any and every god and ancestor and good feeling in the world to just let me pee. The end of my penis was starting to look so sad and worn. I knew I would break if they cathed me again.

After the second cath I was talking to my nurse. Nurses are absolute angels. What a hard job. What amazingly caring and nurturing people. I had some of the most amazing discussions with my nurses over the three weeks I was there. So my nurse comes in and I'm so obviously just a shaken and terrified mess. She's like - talk to me. I told her I couldn't get cathed again. I was surprised at how I'd lost control of myself when they did it the second time. She told me that if I couldn't pee in the 6 hours that they would have to just go with installing a full cath because cathing me too many times was becoming it's own problem. Freaked me out. She told me I had to figure out some way to acceptance - that it would help me if I could. Help to at least calm me down and steel myself. I spent that 6 hours with the same mantra of feel the flow. I would imagine rivers, water moving, trying to make myself feel like water. I kept trying to move my pelvis in different ways. I couldn't feel a lot of what was even happening down in that area because I was on some pretty powerful pain meds, so it was difficult to figure out what magic button to push, which muscles to constrict or relax. I was moving blind, pleading with my body to release. Suddenly my 20 minute warning came. Back to the bathroom. It took 19 minutes of that 20, but finally, one of the greatest reliefs of my entire existence...I peed! OMG I PEED! I celebrated like it was the greatest achievement I would ever have. Relief flooded me. No full catheter. I called my nurse in immediately and was in tears as I told her and we celebrated together. It was such a good pee party.

My second problem after surgery is that my veins were failing. I was still so dehydrated. There's a saline shortage in America right now. Usually I'd have been on a continuous saline drip via IV my entire stay. I only ever got 2 bags of it and only when it was the most dire. So . . . no fluid in the veins, veins thus were plain worn out. When they would inject anything into my IVs (there were all sorts of medications that were being flushed in all through the day) it would hurt. They had to go so slowly. But I had to get a blood transfusion. My red cell count had dipped past the point they were comfortable with, so we had to get that blood in. And it had to come in at a relatively high speed because it would eventually get too warm. I was very concerned that it would hurt my arm, because just two days earlier they tried an infusion of iron. It was that infusion that ruined the vein on my left arm. We get the blood started and I can tell immediately that eventually it will hurt. I just wanted to see how long I could bear it - hopefully I could just fight through it. Unfortunately that was not to be the case. It began to ache and then burn. I told them we had to stop. I'd had another IV placed in my right arm by the super special ultrasound tech phlebotomist (by the way, my favorite person in the world to have be good at their job is whatever phlebotomist is sticking me). The issue is that it just never really worked. We would use it for small injections, but it just didn't sit right. But we tried it. We get the right side hooked up to the machine and I'm waiting praying that the pain will be bearable enough to get the rest in. But the machine didn't like something about the situation and would refuse to send the drip down.

Shit. Faced with yet another IV placement. I called my nurse in and talked her through my thoughts. I was terrified. She told me they would get the ultrasound tech and that they would get it. She was so confident. I told her we had done that though already on the right arm and that particular IV NEVER worked. So why would it work this time? I told her I'd lost faith in my veins. They were failing. If the last ultrasound stick didn't work, why should I believe it will this time? She was so good to give me the space to talk through all this. She stayed so calm and nonjudgmental. And when I'd gotten my anxieties out, she just said you're gonna have to trust that this is going to work because it's what you need to get better. You know you need this blood, and you know that we have to get that IV placed to make that happen. I did know it. Of course I did. And of course I would tell them to do it and I just focused on being positive and having faith that it would work. I was plagued by concern about if I could maintain my composure during the process. I prayed that they would find a good vein quickly without much digging.

My nurse knew me so well by that point that she came in very prepared. She brought with her the ultrasound tech, and with brilliant foresight, another nurse whose only job was to hold my hand and give me encouragement through the process. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? But again - I'd been there so long. Through so many terrible things that were all so invasive. I was a withered, weak, shaking human who had reached breaking, and I was on the verge of breaking yet again.

And boy did I break. The ultrasound tech started in my left arm. She looked around for awhile. Finally found a spot she seemed confident with. My two nurses had my hands and were saying nice things to me, trying to keep my mind occupied. Tech goes for the stick and . . . keeps digging and digging at my jumping vein. I lost it. Just completely lost myself. I never have heard the sounds I made come out of me before. The uncontrollable moaning and crying from the depths of whatever sorrow that exists inside me that had been pent up over 45 years. My body contorted outside my control. I finally was able to at least get my back back against the bed. Both nurses were using their full weight to hold me down. I wailed. I wailed like a three month old baby wails, with a voice of a 45 year old man. It was a terrible, horrifying sound. I could hardly believe I could cry like that.

The tech had given up on the left arm at my pleading. So she moved to the right. My two nurses were trying to get me to breathe. I was heaving. My chest. Heaving as I cried. I couldn't gain control. But I focused on breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth they said. I was on the verge of hyperventilating because of the huge gulps of air I would bring in. There was so much violence being reacted to by my physical body. I just kept breathing. In through the nose out through the mouth. It was something I could latch on to and focus on. The tech was underway on the right arm. Digging at a jumping vein, but I could tell she was close. I just kept listening to the nurses about breathing. Suddenly I felt the click. Connection. They quickly got the blood going while my two angel nurses tried to calm me. I was still uncontrollably crying, but breathing better. They suddenly asked about music. What's your favorite band? I blurted out Spoon. They laughed. I told them to grab my phone and I played Wild by Spoon - a song which had been one of those hugely inspiration songs I listened to a number of times on my knees in the shower to pump myself up after my previous surgery. And the world, still so wild, called to me / I was lost, I'd been kept on my knees. I would sing that with such conviction in the shower on my knees. The world was certainly calling me and I wanted back at it's wildness badly. The song helped. It played twice. By the second time I was just able to moan sing the chorus. It felt good. I knew I needed to change to Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space. I told them to get me my phone. I get it going, turn it all the way up, and let the song wash over me as I continued to whimper as I slowly steadied my breathing. By the time the song started for the third time, I was ready to moan sing along. I sang over and over and over and over again the words All I want in life's a little bit of love / To take the pain away / Getting strong today / A giant step each day. I just kept singing. And they were so kind to let me. Over and over in a round. Finally after about 20 minutes I was breathing pretty normally. But it had broken me. I didn't know I could so completely lose control of myself. I was so shocked at the depth, at the tenor, the terror and suffering that were in those noises I had made.

I feel so good today. What felt like being in a torture camp for three weeks is over. I am whole and well. I literally and figuratively had dead parts of me cut away. Now I am left with a living whole. My body will heal from the damage done and because of how I broke, in that breaking were worlds and walls I had built up that needed to come down. The process and amount of pain it took to make that breakdown happen was so amazing to watch unfold. I now have the opportunity to rebuild in a healthier way. Healing is coming fast. I'm so proud of my body. Of the enormity that it can contain and hold. I'm so grateful for the miracle of it. I will do such a better job of showing that love to my body.

[walkswithmyfather]

“‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on my servants—men and women alike— and they will prophesy.’” —Acts 2:17‭-‬18 (NLT)

“If you [really] love Me, you will keep and obey My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever— the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive [and take to its heart] because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He (the Holy Spirit) remains with you continually and will be in you.” —John 14:15‭-‬17 (AMP)

“For God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it. He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they lie in their beds. He whispers in their ears and terrifies them with warnings. He makes them turn from doing wrong; he keeps them from pride. He protects them from the grave, from crossing over the river of death.” —Job 33:14‭-‬18 (NLT)

“Who Is The Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit is God living inside of you, speaking into your thoughts and leading you closer to Him. He's always encouraging you to not only do the right thing but also the God thing. He's there to help you make choices and take actions that will change your life.”

“Who is the Holy Spirit?” By Switch (Life.church):

“Picture this: You’re on a road trip, and you’re mindlessly scrolling through Instagram with music blaring through your headphones. Suddenly, you pass through the middle of nowhere and you lose your cell signal. Sure enough, Spotify cuts out, the music stops, your feed is frozen, and you’re left to your own thoughts. No music. No more texting. In the midst of your technological desolation, you remember the car has a radio. With the tap of a button, music fills your car.

Radios feel like magic. In desolate places where smartphones are useless, a reliable, old radio can tap into the invisible signals all around us and fill our silence with music. At the turn of a knob, you can shuffle from Ariana to Drake. Maybe even mix in a little Luke Bryan—maybe not. No buffering. No dead batteries. Just voices pulled from thin air.

The Holy Spirit feels sort of magical too, maybe even a little spooky. He’s everywhere. He’s watching you read this right now. Weird, right? The air around you is filled with the invisible noise of God’s voice, and like a radio, you were built to hear it and relay His thoughts to people through your own words and actions.

Most people miss this, but God wants to speak to you. Did you catch that? He wants to speak to you, and He built you to hear His voice. He doesn’t usually speak out loud, but His voice comes from inside of you. It takes practice to learn how to separate your own thoughts from His voice, and different people hear Him in different ways.

Sometimes, the Holy Spirit sounds like thoughts in your head. Sometimes, He drops in a mental picture. Other times, He gives you a dream that just feels different. Most often, He speaks by illuminating parts of the Bible—reminding you of a verse you’ve read and helping you understand it in a new way.

When Jesus promised He would never leave us alone, the Holy Spirit was the fulfillment of that promise. When you become a Christ follower, the Holy Spirit moves in. We become His house. So, when He speaks, His voice comes from inside you. What if all this time you’ve been hearing His voice without recognizing it?

So, when you’re driving through life and your journey leads you to a dark place where you feel alone and abandoned, know that you’re never really alone. Even when nothing else seems to work, the Holy Spirit is right there with you. With only a thought, He can speak life, hope, strength, joy, and encouragement to you and over you. Even better, if you learn to listen intently, He can help you avoid some of those dark places. Over the next several days, we’ll learn who the Holy Spirit is and why it’s impossible to live a godly life without Him.”

“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.” —Psalm 139:1‭-‬10 (NLT)

[intertexts]

HELLOOOO I COME BEARING GIFTS

EPISODE 11 TRIVIA:

- ashe being there surprised dakota so much it broke him somewhat out of his bad mood! in grizzlys words "if he wouldnt have met ashe right then, dakota would have been so much more angry and miserable at the beginning of this episode. he mightve just straight up left. got up and walked away."

- he didnt want to talk to william or vyncent at all, so ashe being there (however unwillingly) as a third party made things easier and almost softened the blow of vyncent yelling at him in the moment

- "why did i dream about william and vyncent being villains in the beginnign and killing summer" ".... i dunno" *cue entire party suspicious WHAT DOES THAT MEAN*

- "i dont trust your characters now" "you have ONE bad dream and our campaign turns into a game of among us"

- william: "hey ashe do you want to run away and write poetry with me?" emo/goth kid solidarity

- this is yakko's (ashes player) first time ever playing a ttrpg !!! fucking wild!! he feels like he needs more practice describing things

- FUN CHARACTER FACTS. I LOVE THESE MORE THAN ANYTHING. BIZLY ASKED EACH OF THEM WHAT KINDS OF MUSIC THEIR CHARACTERS WOULD LISTEN TO.

dakota: breakbeat, old school rap, 90s punk rock. also for shows he would watch it was "cartoons like atla, tmnt and codename kids next door"

william: "indie rock. and on a bad day, evanescence" (god hes just like me fr)

vyncent: "my character doesnt know what music is"

ashe: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE . also apparently yakko made an ashe winters playlist on spotify and thats actually what they were playing in the episode. i have not found this yet and i desperately want to

- for the spirit world, bizly asked charlie to find him just random pieces of music that he could envision places for and thats how they came up with carnival of souls! there are a handful more places like that that youll see eventually :]

- yakko: "im glad i was able to bring wavelengths threat level down an entire tier just by calling him mark"

- charlie wants william and ashe to hang out in character more because theyre so similar and he thinks they would have a lot to bond over! i love this

- theyre all really excited that they get to go to the spirit world together and it wasnt just an excuse to split the party because they dont want to do that :] (<< i just rlly like this energy)

- grizzly is specifically playing dakota as "not being able to process emotions very well"

ALSO!!!!!!! i dojt know what site or whatever youre using to watch/listen so im hoping they have this on there BUT. the tide backstory oneshot was posted between episodes 12 and 13 so if u wanted to listen to that one now would be a good time !!! its called The Elementals :]

HIII YAYAYAYAYYY!!!! ohh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me :333

the dakota & ashe stuff is so goodddd u can rlly tell. it's like yeah you cant be mad and miserable and sulky in front of someone u don't know!! & ashe is just.... so unbothered... i loaf him... he truly did bring the threat level down so fast. went from terrifying supervillain in charge of the Evil Facility to an exhausted pissed off single dad in 1 minute.

+ALL THE MUSIC STUFF IS SO GOOD..... ITS SO GOOD. yelling. vyncent is going 2 end up having the weirdest music taste from hanging out with them. augh... awesome trivia thabk. the energy they have is so fun always....

[melhekhelmurkun]

I love love love love the music of Star Wars. I know I’ve said this before (mainly with specific songs) but holy shit I adore it I really do. I could spend literal hours talking about it.

I love how perfectly each character’s theme fits them, I love how every scene has exactly what music it needs to set the tone, I love the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) motifs that call back to all sorts of different stories. There’s a quick analysis under the cut if anyone’s interested 👉👈🥺

I love how Vader’s theme (aka the Imperial March) is slow and steady and intense, it feels confident and powerful just like the character. Vader knows who he is, he knows what he’s capable of and what his job is, he knows what he has to do to get that job done, and he’s more than willing to do said things. In contrast, Kylo’s theme (Kylo Ren Arrives at the Battle) is sort of all over the place. You can’t really tell what it’s going to do next - one second it’s fast and quiet, the next it’s slow and very loud; it’s intense in a totally different way. I think that fits his character very well too (he doesn’t have the confidence and surety in his role that Vader had, so his music is a mix of calmer moments that suddenly become very harsh). I also love the very subtle motifs in Ren’s theme that actually seem to reference the Imperial March (there are a few points where the notes seem to follow the same format of the lead-up, only to dip off into something else. This happens particularly at the beginning of the song)

Then there’s Anakin and Padme’s love theme (Across the Stars), which I have already waxed poetic about so many times. I think it perfectly encompasses their relationship (at least at the start) - the song feels very hopeful and peaceful, but also very naive. I don’t know how to explain that lol it just feels like that to me. It’s quick but even, with mainly light strings and few intense sections. There’s a point towards the middle of the song (2:07 ish on Spotify) where it gets a little melancholy before then switching to a more brassy style, and it feels to me like that’s the realization that the war will interfere with their pictured life, but then it goes back into the strings (with the brass in the back) and that feels like they’re trying to push through and ignore the war’s effect. And it gets a little more melancholy and intense towards the end, before switching to what sounds like a harp (don’t quote me on that?) and my personal headcanon is that harps are a big thing on Naboo :) idk that part specifically feels very important since it’s different from the rest of the song.

And don’t get me started on Jyn Erso & Hope Suite holy shiiiiiit I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG!!!!! I will die on the hill that Rogue One had THE best music in the whole of Star Wars. Hope Suite really manages to encompass the feelings of hope that are simultaneously uplifting and terrifying. It makes my chest go all hdhdhdhshs. It’s delicate while also managing to be very powerful and emotional, and the strength of the melody feels perfect for Jyn’s character. Listening to this, it (obviously) feels very hopeful and eager, but there’s that sort of soft and sweet undertone that makes you wonder if everything will work out the way you want it to. There’s some ominous notes towards the end, where it all slows down and it feels like you’re standing on the edge of something, and then the ending notes trail off. Absolutely crazy. One of my favorite songs fr.

Idk sorry for the rant, I’ve been thinking about this all day and needed to get it out SOMEWHERE bc otherwise it was gonna bounce around in my head and drive me insane

[friend-of-giants]

Summer reading/writing/arting tag

Tagged by @mareenavee @paraparadigm and @changelingsandothernonsense! Thank you and sorry it took an entire lifetime to get to this lol

Tagging @elfinismsarts @thelavenderelf @the-sunlit-earth @katastronoot @duo-kun to participate but no pressure!

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Aside from the obvious continuing to work on my fic, I hope, HOPE to make a piece of cover art for Ascent from the Ashes.  I don’t know much about creating cover art, though, so if anyone has any advice I am open to hear it!

2) Rec a book!

Am I basic if I go with a Stephen King novel?  The last book I read of his was Misery, and when I tell you my palms were sweaty (mom’s spaghetti) and that I was actually scooting to the edge of my seat during the climax, I am NOT kidding.  This book was gripping and terrifying in all the right ways, and while it’s an older novel, I highly recommend it for horror enthusiasts.  I personally enjoy all of his works that I’ve read, there are many that I haven’t gotten to, and I would say he’s my favorite author and I hope someday my writing can be as vivid and horrifying as his.  (Side note, i HATE horror movies, but I loooooove horror writing.  Love it.  Give it all to me)

3) Rec a fic! 

Ooh, and it has to be outside my character tag?  Can it still be in the fandom?  If so, Between The Ashes and Fire by the bestie @elfinismsarts.  I’m kind of particular about what kinds of fic and writing styles I like to read, and after just reading the first chapter of the first installment, Blood of the Dragon, I was hooked and read the fic in its 69 chapter entirety.  I have never once read a multichapter fic from beginning to end until this one, and its sequel Blood of the Wolf is just as good!  Please please go check it out!  Her characterization of the Companions is second to none, and her OCs, Firien and Tahir, are incredibly fleshed out and are a true example of Grumpy and Sunshine.  Absolute delights.  I love them both ❤️

4) Rec music!

I don’t normally listen to anything while I write or draw, yeah I know, that’s weird.  But on the few occasions I do, I actually prefer to listen to instrumental pieces that fit the tone of what I’m writing.  The Fiechter Brothers have an extensive library of worldbuilding-type music that is perfect to pop on to do some writing, especially their fantasy albums.  They're on both Youtube and Spotify. I’m also a big fan of ambience videos by various artists on Youtube, so for example if I’m writing something taking place outdoors at night I might pop on a video of a crackling fire and crickets, birds etc.  I’m an extremely visual writer and reader, basically seeing everything I am writing in my head like a film as I go, so hearing such things in the background really help me get in the right mindset.  

5) Share one piece of advice!

Let me keep this short and sweet.  Create for YOURSELF.  Don’t create for likes and attention, it will only serve to disappoint.  If you’ve got an idea in your head, fuckin do it, and don’t dwell on the stats… says the person who is fighting with this mindset on a regular basis 🙃

[soapywankenopy]

Taylor Swift is power-mad methinks

That is not to say that she has always been the picture of perfection, I'm just saying now she's being mean more loudly. Like I used to be a pretty big swiftie, like I went to the eras tour and I have several of her albums on vinyl, I've listened to probably at least 99% of the songs she's put out (excluding ttpd) and a good chunk of her unreleased stuff. I know the gaylor lore. I have my theories about which songs are about which people and all that.

All this to say, there got to be a point where I could not stand behind her actions anymore. I get that her music is not for everyone, but I like it. I just can't defend her actions anymore, so I can't say I'm a fan. So I'm in this weird space where people still think of me as like "a big taylor swift fan" and they ask me things, and I have to preface them with, "well it's complicated and i wouldn't really consider myself a fan anymore and I'm kind of detached." I have her blocked on Spotify because even listening to her music makes me feel guilty because I don't think she's a good person, and I don't want to be supporting a billionaire.

People defend her, but to me, she is nothing more than a greedy billionaire who only speaks up about something if it benefits her private jet budget.

Like how can you have that much power and not talk about the terrifying things that are happening around the world? How can you claim to be a feminist and then repeatedly push other female artists' albums down by releasing the 57th variant of your album?

This post was all over the place, and I'm sorry, I just needed to put my thoughts out there. It just really bothers me that I used to defend her and defend her and defend her, and it didn't matter. It also bothers me that there are people who don't have a legitimate reason for hating her, and they just spread hate everywhere. I can't say I hate her, but I can say that I don't think she's a good person, and I think she's kind of a mean girl.