#my sister's Low Effort boyfriend and father to the kids is this kind of person

[eats-the-stars]

reading some fics lately that have characters using sign language to hold secret conversations, which is fine. if two people were speaking French and no one else in the room did, that would be the same situation. my issue is that somehow, no one can tell that they're signing. like they're doing it secretly/discretely and yeah i can see a few signs that would be subtle, but you can really tell that the writer doesn't actually know signs because they're signing things that would be really hard to sign in a room full of people without making it obvious you're using sign. mostly, signs that involve bringing your hands to your face.

reading the way people write signing...they really heavily focus on the hands, and overlook that where you put them in relation to the body is a big part of signing. especially bringing them up to your face. also finger-spelling is a big headache to rely on. imagine instead of using full words, someone spoke each letter aloud to you, and you had to piece that into a sentence. big headache. alright for names and an odd word or two, but multiple sentences? sorry but that's just painful, and it's tricky.

Also, I can see how signing can be a way to communicate over the heads of everyone in the room who doesn't know sign, but bro, they will know you're signing. Just like if you were speaking French they would be like "shit I don't know French" and then they might catch a cognate here or there just like ppl might see the sign for "book" or "eat" and figure it out. But, just, sign language is very expressive, and it's totally visual, so it's meant to be very visible and clear to see. Most signs are oriented around the face and upper body, since most conversations are, you know, face to face, so you can't really like...sign them all behind your back or under a table or with only one hand.

Like "mom" is holding your hand vertical and touching your thumb to your chin. You can't do that sign without bringing your hand to your face. However, it's short, so finger-spelling would work. But that was just an example of a word that can't be done, like, behind your back.

"Red" however, could be passed off as a character briefly stroking their chin. "All done" could be made to look like a casual gesture. "Sit" and "Friend" could possibly be done under a table, or made to look like casual fidgeting.

Behind the back would actually be really hard, and most signs would be, like, upside down. You could probably do some really simple ones that just need two or one hand(s), like "More" or a color or something. I just tried "Help" and "Stop and it felt awkward and I don't know if it was legible, but those might work.

So, you could write covert signing, but my advice is to stick to a handful of words per exchange at most, and just simply look up the word online, and see if it's something that could be passed off as a casual gesture or a fidget, or done under a table or behind your back (not many will work behind your back tbh).

If you're only using a few scenes with simple exchanges, it shouldn't be too much work to look up a few signs until you get a combo that works.

I do think a quick fix to avoid all that would be to just state that the characters are using a modified/altered/original and simplified form of sign language, designed to be less eye-catching and pass as natural gestures/movements. And then add in that due to these limitations, it's also much more limited than fully expressive sign language.

You wouldn't even need to detail anything after that. Just keep the covert signs very simple and avoid overly long and detailed conversations that no one could probably sign back and forth without being clocked unless it was cool for them to suddenly be, like, really really fidgety.

It's not really a big deal. I love seeing people add sign to their writing. It just itches at me to see it being so commonly used as a "covert language" when so many signs honestly need to be oriented around the head/face and are not at all subtle because it's meant for daily conversation, and not, like, covert ops. And it's such an easy fix. So I just thought I'd throw this out there.

[introvertguide]

Abuse of Children Portrayed in Film

I like to use movies as an escape from the harshness of the real world and one of the things that I have learned about in my education is the effects on children when they are mistreated. I have a Masters Degree in Developmental Psychology and one of the hardest classes for me to handle was Abnormal Development in Children and Adolescents. We covered everything from dealing with dyslexia and ADHD to surviving severe abuse and loss at a very early age. We had guest speakers that ranged from people who had escaped genocide as children, to individuals who had been sold into prostitution by their parents, to people who had suffered severe abuse from their parents or guardian. I have heard stories that will stick with me forever and that is nightmare fuel that I don't want to share.

Because of my background education, I take note of the treatment and behavior of children and adolescents in the movies that I watch. There have been many great movies over the years that have depicted the suffering of children and it has always been difficult for me to deal with. There are more well known examples of films that focus on suffering but throw in more of a "sometimes we all suffer, even the children" message that demonstrate that kids aren't immune to great travesties (basically any film about The Holocaust). There are also well known films that show children "coming of age" through hardship (Annie 1982, Oliver! 1968) but end perfectly. There is a more current series of films that focuses entirely on a boy discovering a fantasy world that was robbed from him when his parents were murdered by a tyrant (Harry Potter series). But in this list I want to review some lesser known films that show examples of abuse. Even after all that I have seen and heard, the following list of films have affected me personally for one reason or another. Sometimes the children in these films endure and overcome their situation in the end. Sometimes these children do not survive or sadly remain in their misfortunes. To me, this can make the movie all the more powerful because of the incredible amount of pathos that endangering a child character can add. It can also make it a heart wrenching experience that is painful to watch. Here are some powerful films in which children suffer and the struggle is one of the main plot lines of the movie:

SPOILER WARNING AND VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISORY!!! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TO THESE FILMS AND IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT SOME OF THE PLOTS ARE DISTURBING!!! EITHER WATCH THE FILM IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS OR CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING SUMMARIES IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST HEAR WHAT HAPPENS SO YOU KNOW IF YOU WANT TO WATCH OR NOT!!!

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Sybil (TV Movie) 1976

I just recently saw this film after I had heard of the story in my abnormal development class almost 10 years ago. It is the story of a woman who developed multiple personalities to deal with a childhood in the care of an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother. The movie stars Sally Fields and is based on a true account of Shirley Ardell Mason and her treatment by psychologist Cornelia Wilbur. The acting in the film is overdramatic at times, but it definitely reminded me of some of the actual old videos of Shirley Mason and her sudden strange switches in personality when she was scared or anxious. Dr. Wilbur used hypnosis to actually introduce Mason to her alternate personalities and she was able to recognize her disassociative identity disorder and overcome it. It still hurts me to think that this person was mentally wounded so deeply by her parents that it basically shattered her into pieces in an effort to make sense of things.

Leon: The Professional 1994

I mention this film a lot because it is a heartwarming story of an assassin teaching a young orphan how to murder. It is the breakout role for Natalie Portman and it is just amazing. Leon is a "cleaner" that lives next door to an abusive and addictive family with a troubled girl named Mathilda. The father gets in trouble with the mob and some enforcers come by and slaughter most of the family while Mathilda is getting groceries. She returns during the massacre and realizes what is happening so continues next door and pleads for shelter. Leon takes her in and teachers her the trade and protects her from the men who want to finish her off. The movie was written and directed by Luc Besson and stars Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and Natalie Portman. The suffering that this girl endures because of her parent's addictions hurts me, yet I have seen and enjoyed this film many times. I recommend watching when in the mood to be deeply affected by the trials of a little girl and the killer who protected her.

Kids 1995

This film came out when I was early in high school and bothered me greatly. It is a story by Harmony Korine, and one of his many attempts to capture the hopeless lives of unmotivated and unsupervised teens. These are young teens having unprotected sex, stealing money to do drugs, and attacking people in the park. I did not really go to these kinds of parties when I was that age (or ever really) and it has bothered me to think that adolescents would partake in this kind of behavior. It is hard for me to believe that these kids had the ability to mentally comprehend the consequences of their actions and some of the characters end up contracting HIV from each other. I would not recommend the film because it is a depressing day in the life that no youth should have.

Gummo 1997

I would not call this a good movie and I wouldn't really recommend it. It is another work by Harmony Korine and really details the depravity that can occur with unsupervised youths living in low socio-economic conditions. This movie is just depressing and motivated me to find something to motivate me into action. I got into both psychology and teaching, which has served me well for the past 20 years. It was this film that showed me how low the bar for quality of life could be, and I guess for that I am thankful. However, I still wouldn't recommend it.

Happiness 1998

This movie I didn't see right away but noticed it at the video store on many occasions. I final watched it when I was about 25 on the recommendation of a friend and one particular storyline greatly disturbed me. It is basically the story of 3 sisters that feel they should be happy and project a face of happiness, yet they are miserable and have horrible lives. One sister in particular is married to a psychiatrist who turns out to be a pedophile that rapes the friends of his young son. At one point rather early on in the movie, this man confesses to his son that he raped the boy's friends and that he would do it again. The son is so confused that he asks his father why he never raped him. It is so disturbing to me because I know the boys that were assaulted will be forever damaged and this boy who was not actually raped will be mentally scarred as well. The fact that there are people in the world that would harm children that way, recognize what they had done, and then know they didn't have the self control to stop themselves from doing it again is horrifying to me.

Lilya 4-Ever 2002

This film is deeply disturbing and I highly recommend never watching it. I will spoil it for you now so you never have to see it if you don't want. A 16-year-old girl named Lilya lives with her mother. The mom gets a boyfriend and the couple move to America and abandons Lilya with a neglectful aunt. The aunt movies into the old apartment of her sister and Lilya is forced to move out and become a prostitute to make money. A boy comes along and convinces her to move to Sweden to escape her life. When they arrive, this boy sells her to a pimp and she becomes a teenage sex slave. She almost escapes, but is then captured and beaten almost to death. She escapes again and this time commits suicide so she won't be recaptured. This movie is awful and changed my mind about giving every film a chance. I wish I could forget this film, but I can't. Perhaps it is just not for me, but this film presentation is definitely an experience that you won't soon forget.

The Kite Runner 2007

I read this book in my twenties and saw the film in my thirties and both affected me greatly. A well-to-do boy and his friend are in a kite battle competition and the friend is beaten and raped when he goes to retrieve a fallen kite. The well-to-do boy denies knowing what happened to his friend (he does know) and basically shames and abandons him. This action haunts the well-to-do boy for the rest of his life. How the boy who was raped is basically falling prey to blaming the victim is heartbreaking, and the lifetime of guilt of the other boy is pitiable. Neither boy was the actual attacker yet they both were the ones that suffered.

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There are many other examples of movies along these lines and could be found if you feel like suffering. I can't say that I would recommend them because they are very difficult to watch. Beyond just dealing with the content, it is rare to find child actors who can actually portray somebody who has truly suffered. The mix of bad acting and a depressing plot can make for a terrible movie going experience. The genre of movie involving suffering does exist, though, and it could be enjoyed (?) by some. Just not generally by me.

[starrynite7114]

Confessions

A/N: Good morning all! Hope you’re having a good week thus far. Another update for you lovely people! The Angel jealous headcanon was definitely fun to write! Jealous Angel is always a win. 

Things you never knew and Everything is you will be update next along with two more requests that I’ll be posting. 

Hope you all are staying safe during these times! Love you all! 

Whoever requested this piece, hope you enjoy! <3

92: “ Are you drunk? ” 93: “ Are you high? ” with angel - anon

Word count: 4265

Masterlist

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @marvelmaree : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @whyisgmora : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @briannab1234 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @mheart27 : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @soamayansfangirl : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon  : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @nakusaych9 : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @itskiranbitch : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @aquamento : @prdsdjarin

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please leave a comment below or message me! <3

CREDIT  TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER!

People always thought that you were an odd person due to the people you choose to surround yourself with. You were new in town a few years back and somehow, someway, you were adopted by the Mayans. 

But you knew it wasn’t an accident. 

You had served in the Marines with Coco and throughout your service, you two had one another’s backs. You were the little sister he never had so when you finally decided to move away from San Diego, he suggested for you to move to Santo Padre. 

A low key town, with hardly any trouble.

But it was Coco, why did you even believe him? He always stretched the truth.

You couldn’t really be mad at Coco since you were able to meet Angel through him. A ridiculous crush you couldn’t believe you had that developed into something more. Angel wasn’t even your type, which was what Coco always reminded you. 

‘He’s too tall for you.’

‘He has too many tattoos.’

‘He’s a player.’

Coco was looking out for you, you knew that, but you could make your own mistakes. You were a grown woman. And maybe Angel wasn’t your type, but people always said the people you fell for was hardly your quintessential type. Angel just had this certain charm and aura. He was a flirt, had a cocky smirk, and he was so fucking tall. Height has always been a big thing for you, but tattoos on a man was not something you were into either. Angel Reyes? He wore his tattoos well and you honestly couldn’t look away.

You two first met when Coco went to visit you when you were finally discharged from the Marines. He brought Gilly along as well, but it was difficult for you to focus on anyone else besides Angel. The way he looked at you had you blushing, but you brushed it off as being in service for so long that any little glances from good looking men as himself would make you blush. Sure, you served with men in the Marines, but half of them were married, some were douches and some were nice. You just wanted to do your job and get back home safely. Interpersonal relationships always complicated things and in a battlefield it was needed, you learned the hard way.

You’ve been in Santo Padre for five years, and you didn’t imagine enjoying living in this ridiculously hot city, but you always found family in Coco, so you weren’t exactly surprised you chose to live in Santo Padre. Instead of moving up to Seattle where your blood relatives currently lived, you stayed in Santo Padre and set up a branch of your cousin’s tattoo shop there. Your cousin helped you set up four years ago and you’ve built up a clientele over the years. 

And for your Mayans, you made house calls or went to the clubhouse to do their tattoos. If you weren’t their chosen artist, you would send whoever their preferred artist was. 

Your clients were mostly Angel, Coco, Gilly and Bishop. The other Mayans had their preferences and you took no offense. They always took care of you, so you took care of them. You didn’t give a fuck what the assumption in town was. 

Sometimes, the prim and proper citizens were the worst.

You knew they were no angels, but you didn’t judge either. You’ve done your fair share of unforgivable sins, it was just part of the dog eat dog world you all lived in. 

Currently, you were at your office, watching Letty as she worked on some Algebra II homework. As a favor to your hermano, you took care of Letty till he could pick her up and if he couldn’t, she would stay with you. Celia has been gone for a few months now and you definitely saw the change in Letty. She was such a little shit when you first met her, but she was a good kid. 

“Good job, look at you, you are teachable.” You teased Letty, ruffling her hair. 

Letty laughed, flipping you off. “Your support means the world to me.” Letty wiped faked tears, making you laugh.

“God, you’re such a pain in the ass.” You chuckled as you shook your head. 

“But you love me.”

“I do, for some odd reason, I do.” You watched as she continued to do homework. Going back to your sketchbook, you were sketching a piece for Angel that you were going to place on yourself. You two had been dating for almost two years now. No matter how many times Coco warned you off, you two ended up dating. Coco didn’t even mind, when you told him you two were dating, Coco had only one thing to say.

‘No fucking at our house cause that’s just fucking weird.’

You currently lived with Coco and Letty since you never really saw a reason to move out and Coco didn’t want you to move out. So now, you have been living with Coco for five years and quite frankly, you wouldn’t want to change your living situation. 

It was having your own little family. Your older brother and niece, you smiled at the idea before focusing on your drawing again. 

Christmas was a month away and you wanted to surprise Angel for Christmas. It wasn’t much, but you knew he would appreciate it. 

“So, have you told him?” Letty broke you away from your sketch. 

“Told who, what?” You looked up at Letty who was smirking as she continued to do her math problems.

“Angel, have you told him you love him?” 

You rolled your eyes, releasing a sigh. You weren’t going to discuss your love life with a fucking teenager. But it was difficult, Letty was technically one of the few females you had around you. And to be quite honest, for a brat, she was wise, which she most likely obtained from her father. 

“I’m not going to discuss this with a teenager.” You threw a crumpled sketch paper at her, making Letty laugh.

“Come on, you don’t want to discuss it with your sobrina(niece)?” Letty’s smirk grew and you just laughed at her ridiculousness.

“There’s nothing to discuss. Angel is,” you sighed. “It’s complicated, half the time, I feel like Angel and I just have a casual relationship.” Which was the truth. Angel and you slept together often, much more often than you would like to admit, but it was hard to resist Angel. 

But you two never did anything together. Sure, you two hung around the clubhouse, your shop, but otherwise, he never took you out on a date or anything. You tried not to take offense since you knew how busy he was and the club had him doing odd hours. 

But at times, you just felt like you were a warm body he liked coming home to, or asking to come over when he was home.

He did ask you to be his girlfriend, and you two went on a few dates prior to you dating, but maybe once Angel landed you, he didn’t see why he should put forth effort. At the same time, whenever you two were together, you couldn’t even describe how much love you had for this guy. He always made you smile, he made your day better with his mere presence. 

God, you were more into him than he was into you. 

You were a part of a romantic comedy and Angel was the guy you dated before you met the one. 

This was comical.

Cause you were really hoping Angel was the one. 

“Why won’t you just talk to him?” Letty felt the answer was quite simple. Communication was key, which was something she was learning, no more running away. “Or you can dump him, you’re way out of Angel’s league anyway.”

“Stop, I’m not, I thought you like Angel.” 

“I do, but you know,” Letty shrugged. “You’re kind of the older sister I’ve always wanted and if he’s making you feel that way, he’s not worth it.”

“I’ll talk to him later and I’ll decide from there.” You smiled. “Aww, you’re so protective of me Leticia, I feel special.”

“Shut up.” Letty grumbled, but she smiled as well. “How hard is it to say I love you?”

“Can you say I love you?” You quirk an eyebrow at Letty, slightly challenging her. 

“Of course I can, I say it to you all the time.” Letty scoffed. “I love you. See was that so hard? Pretend I’m Angel.”

“No, absolutely not.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Come on, I know I’m not as tall and I don’t have that awful beard, but you can still pretend.” Letty offered.

“Leticia, I’m not going to pretend you’re my boyfriend.” You went back to sketching, feeling Letty’s eyes on you for a moment before she went back to her homework.

After a few minutes of silence, you broke it.

“Okay, but you are absolutely not allowed to use this against me.”

“Come on, of all the people here, you’re the one person I don’t collect blackmail material on.”

You laughed at Letty’s comment reminding you of Coco. He always teased you, but when push comes to shove, he was your go to, until Angel at least.

“I love you, Angel. If you don’t feel the same way, I get it. If you’re bored cause you already got me, I get it. But just let me know so I don’t fall for you any further.” You let out a sigh of relief, feeling good to say those words out loud. You heard sniffling and you placed your sketchbook down, making your way to Letty. “You okay?”

“Why would you make yourself so vulnerable like that?” Letty wiped her tears. 

“Letty, why are you crying?”

“I don’t know, this is your fault.”

You both laugh, hugging one another. 

Unbeknownst to you, Angel was outside your door, hearing the whole exchange. He arrived when Letty first asked if you had told him that you loved him. He wasn’t going to lie, hearing that made him smile like a fool. But hearing you say that confession about him being bored with you? That hurt him. 

How could you think that?

With everything going down with the club, he hasn’t been able to spend as much time as he wanted with you. Whenever he was done with whatever he was doing, he always called you up to make sure he could at least be with you when he had some free time even if it’s just to sleep with one another and occasionally fuck.

Alright, almost always fucked.

But he figured it was a good stress reliever for you both.

What he neglected to realize was that your mind could wander especially with previous relationships. He was such an idiot. 

He loves you too, more than he could express. 

Angel was going to do better. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you didn’t matter to him. You were the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There was no other person he saw himself with. Maybe it was too early, but he didn’t care. He never comforted with social norms and he wasn’t going to start now.

Feelings were feelings and his feelings for you were intense.

He was going to talk to you tonight, then he’ll worship you as he always did.

“Did you order food? I’m starving.” He heard Letty question. 

“You’re so demanding, brat.” He smiled at that comment.

Angel figured he should make his presence known now. He knocked on your opened door. You and Letty looked up at the door and found Angel holding two bags from your favorite sandwich place a few shops away from your shop.

“Angel!” You really hoped Angel didn’t hear anything you had said. “Did you just get here?”

“Yeah baby, I just walked in. What’s up junior?” It was a nickname he fondly called Letty and she honestly didn’t mind. Making his way over to you, he dropped a quick kiss on your lips before placing the bags on your desk.

You were thankful your sketchbook was closed since you didn’t want Angel to see your present, if you two were still together then. 

“Nothing, is EZ here? I need help with Algebra.” Letty looked around, obviously EZ was not here. 

“You’re not gonna ask me? How do you know I’m not good at algebra?” Angel challenged.

“Are you?” Letty countered

“I actually am, junior.” 

You watched as Angel pulled up a chair right beside Letty and helped her with class. You hated how everyone assumed that Angel did not know anything simply due to the fact that EZ was the golden boy. But Angel was intelligent in his own right. 

Angel looked up at you, smiling as you ate your Philly cheesesteak sandwich. Realizing he loves you was definitely interesting, but was quite simple.

You had slept over his place for a whole week and he just did a relief run with the rebels. He came home and he found you on the couch sleeping with Tiger King playing in the background. He laughed as he turned off the television, squatting beside you as you slept. Taking you into his arms, he carried you into his room, placing you on the bed. He took a quick shower and joined you in bed once he was dressed. Having you in his home, waiting for him almost every night that week, he realized that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Coming home to you, being able to unwind and just spend his free time with you, that’s all he wanted. 

Have kids, late night adventures which you two did every once in a while, and just having you.

All he wanted was you.

It hit him then he loves you. And it just continued to grow from then.

“You want to go to the movies?” Angel asked you unexpectedly. 

Letty looked at you, shooting you a quick smirk before focusing back on her homework.

“Sure, what time did you want to go?”

“We can catch a late showing, I’ll buy the tickets.”

=============

You yawned, getting ready for bed. You were going to the movies with Angel, but they ended up having a late night run which you understood. Just as you were about to sleep, there was a knock on your door.

“Baby!” You heard Angel call out. 

Looking at the time, it was two in the morning. How did Angel even get in here? It was most likely Coco.

You opened your door and Angel almost fell on you, but he caught himself.

“There’s my baby girl!” He planted a kiss on your lips, wrapping his arms around you. He was so warm and he smelled and tasted like alcohol.

“Are you drunk?” You sniffed him once more. “Are you high?”

“Sorry, he insisted I brought him here.” EZ’s voice surprised you especially since Angel and EZ haven’t been talking for months.

“He talked to you?” You questioned.

“Yeah, believe me, I was surprised myself.” EZ was nursing a beer at the picnic table when Angel approached him, inebriated and talking about how much he fucking loved you.

EZ hated this rift between him and Angel. He understood why his older brother was pissed, but he just wished Angel would give him a chance to speak to him, so he could speak to him about what's been plaguing his mind regarding his discovery of their mother’s killer.

He was definitely surprised when Angel plopped down next to him, patting his brother’s thigh.

“You like Y/N?”

It took some time for EZ to reply, surprised that his brother was speaking to him.

“Yeah, of course I do.” EZ looked at his brother as he leaned against the table top of the picnic table, his elbows resting on the table.

“I love her man, I’m gonna marry her.” Angel proudly informed his brother, taking another swig of his beer. 

That much EZ knew. Angel looked at you like you held the world. If you told Angel that the sky was green, Angel would believe you no questions asked. Angel was very confident in your relationship and EZ could tell. While Angel still became jealous, it was more at the fact your attention was away from him, then he became upset. And there were times when newbies who didn’t know any better or some of your customers that push Angel that made the green-eyed monster come out.

He chuckled.

“Yeah?” The lightness of the conversation made it feel like things were back to normal and EZ knew it was far from that, but he would take this.

“I do. And you’re gonna be my best man.” Angel took another drink of his beer. “I’m still angry, but you’re my brother. She would want you there.”

EZ and Angel sat in silence then before Angel asked him to drop him off at your place that you shared with Coco. A few months ago, Coco had given him a spare key so that he could come to the house in case there was an emergency. 

This wasn’t exactly an emergency, but he fucking needed to see you.

So here he was now. He was holding you from behind, nipping on your ear, his hand moving under your shirt. You pulled your shirt down, trying to get Angel’s hand away from you. 

“Thanks for the ride little brother, I gotta go fuck my girl now.” He chuckled right beside your ear making chills run up and down your spine.

“Angel!” You and EZ both yell out.

You shook your head. “Thanks for giving him a ride.”

“Not a problem, I’ll see you later.” You followed EZ to the door after helping Angel to your bed. 

After locking the door, you made your way back in your room, locking your bedroom door behind you. 

Angel was already down to his boxers, laying in your bed. His eyes were closed so you figured he was asleep. As soon as the bed dipped, Angel sat up. He smirked at you, offering his hand, which you took. 

“You love me?” Angel questioned you as he sat you on his lap.

Drunk Angel was the best. He was so much needier than usual and he was so cuddly then. 

“What?” You didn’t want to tell him the L-word like this. But you weren’t going to say no either.

“You love me?” Angel nuzzled his face at the crook of your neck.

“I don’t know, you ditched me today.” You teased him, running your nails up and down his chest. 

“You love me?” Angel repeated again running his hands up and down your thighs. “You love me.” He nuzzled his face on your chest now, practically motorboating you. It wasn’t a question this time, it was a statement. “Te amo mucho, mi vida. You love me?”

The drunken slur made you giggle as he talked into your chest. 

But then his words sunk in.

“You love me?” You felt your heart swell, the butterflies in your stomach going insane.

“I fucking love you, you’re my world.” Angel sat up and pulled you down towards him, capturing your lips, sighing against your lips. “You love me? I heard you earlier. I love you.”

“I love you,” you saw how Angel’s eyes softened, kissing you once again. You didn’t think hearing those words could make your heart flutter just like how the movies described it, but fuck, this killed you. You felt your eyes welling up causing Angel to frown.

“Baby, why are you crying?” He wiped your tears as they fell. “I’m sorry you feel like I put you on the back burner or I’m tired of you, but I’m crazy about you.”

You wrapped your arms around him, Angel did the same thing. You two sat in silence, enjoying the silence and the confession you two just had. 

“You gonna let me eat that pussy?”

You laughed at his words. Pulling away, you shook your head. “Let’s sleep, once you wake up, then you can do that.”

Angel obliged. You both laid down, your head on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. 

You woke up the next morning with Angel’s head in between your thighs. He brought you to a high twice. You were a wet, quivering mess as Angel kissed his way up your body.

“Morning mi dulce,” he kissed you, your taste on his lips. 

You felt his erection against your thigh, he was already bare. Slipping inside you, he kissed you as he buried himself to a hilt.

This was different. This wasn’t your usual sexual encounter where Angel couldn’t wait to be inside you, fucking you to oblivion, he was usually rough. 

This was much sweeter, slow and sensual.

“I can do this every morning.” Angel said against your lips, his body moving against yours. Angel wrapped your legs around his waist, stretching you further. His pace was slow, which you were usually not a fan of, but this was something else right now. The room was still slightly dark, but you could tell it was at least near six in the morning with the little bit of the outside you saw through your blinds. 

You realized then that Angel woke you up by eating you out, wondering if he remembered his drunken confession.

Angel placed his forehead against yours, placing a kiss on your lips every once in a while as he moved in and out of you. Your back arched, scratching his shoulders, meeting his thrust with the movement of your hips.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much.” 

Your heart swelled at his repeat confession. Fuck did that feel good to hear.

“You love me corazon? Huh?” He held himself with one arm and cupped your cheek, running his thumb against your bottom lip. “You love me?” The phrase was different when compared to last night. He has a playful undertone, his intoxication with alcohol obviously making Angel speak with repetitive playfulness regarding you loving him. 

It was a more weighted question today.

“Yes, I love you.” You breathed out, eyes locked on his.

He groaned, hearing you say it while he was sober hit differently. Angel could take his alcohol and remembered most of last night's events. Even his conversation with his baby brother.

“You’re the only one for me,” you tightened up around Angel, his words just turning you on even more. You were never into possessive wording when it came to yourself prior to Angel, but just to know he loves and cherish you as much as you did him, fuck it made you wet. “You like hearing that mami? That you’re the only one for me? I’m gonna put a ring on your finger one day, you want that?”

You couldn’t even process what the hell was going on. Angel was hitting you so deep, his words just making you inch closer to your climax. You could tell he was almost there as well, he sped up his pace, but his thrusts were not as rhythmic as before. You reached down and rubbed your clit, Angel’s eyes darkening as he watched you.

“Yeah querida, play with that clit, get yourself off.” 

You both reached your climax, each other’s names rolling off your tongues. Angel collapsed on top of you, your arms wrapping around him. Running your fingers through his hair, he sighed happily.

“I don’t want you ever thinking that I’ve had enough of you. You’re my world. Shit has just been,” he paused, finding the right words to say. He hasn’t disclosed much with you, but he would soon. After all, he had no plans of letting you go. “It’s just been crazy.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” You quickly respond.

“But I do, I,” he sighed. “I overheard you yesterday when you were talking to Letty.” 

“Fuck,” you slightly laughed hoping it made you less embarrassed. “Angel, I don’t want you thinking that I’m clingy or something, it’s just if you’re bored, I get it.”

“How can you even think that, I could never get bored of you.” Angel slipped out of you then, a tiny moan escaping your lips. He sat up, his knees bent, his arms resting on his knees. “I’m not used to it, being in a relationship is new for me. I’ve been in relationships before, but it hasn’t been as intense as this. I may not be handling it as well as I want, but I do fucking love you and I want all of you, all the time.”

You sat up, wrapping an arm around his middle. You kissed the back of his shoulder and leaned your head against it. 

“I’m sorry, past relationships just fucked me up.” You both chuckled at your statement, as if it was some sort of agreement. “I love you Angel, the past two years has been the happiest I’ve been. With everything I’ve been through, I’m glad it led me to you.”

Angel has never had someone love him as much as you have that at times, it was a bit daunting for him. But he was done sabotaging relationships due to his insecurities and fears. He wasn’t willing to let you go and he was certain you weren’t going to let him go either.

For once, he felt secured. 

He found his person.

And it was you.

[welcometophu]

Not Your Guardian Angel: Chapter 3

Marked Book 3: Not Your Guardian Angel

Chapter 3

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Pels falls into a routine, reminding herself that it’s only for a few days. A week. She can handle that, then she’ll be back at PHU in the life she’s slowly building for herself there.

And maybe yes, she should allow herself to build a little of that life.

It seems like some of it is happening whether she likes it or not. Jess and Shane keep texting, both in their group chat, and in a separate group chat that has expanded to include Hayley and Ángel.

“I’m so proud of you,” Dad murmurs. “You have more friends than you can count on one hand now.”

Pels mutters something rude to him and is thankful that he can’t actually work her phone. She’d worry about what he might do to try to help her move forward in life.

She showers after lunch on Monday because she has to go out and pick up Cheyenne from school. When Mom walks in carrying a pile of clothes, Pels is half-dressed in jeans and a bra, still trying to decide if she’s going to put on a blouse in deference to the house rules, or if she wants to just throw on a hoodie.

As Mom drops what looks like several dresses on the bed, Pels grabs a hoodie and yanks it over her head.

“You didn’t go to church yesterday,” Mom says, as if that has anything to do with wearing a dress today.

“And I’m leaving next Saturday before there’s another service,” Pels mumbles, her voice muffled by the hoodie still stuck on her head. She tries to untangle herself, and mutters a low thanks when Dad turns it and frees her to get her head through it properly. “You know I’m not—” She fails to find the right words. “Peter’s probably happier I wasn’t there.”

“Your father—”

“He is not, and will never be, my actual father,” Pels says firmly. “He doesn’t even like me, so I’m not going to make the effort to like him.”

“He adopted you and gave you his name—”

“Because he had to.” Pels isn’t going to budge on this point. “Mom. I get it. You love him. You love the Church. Cheyenne’s your good daughter. Please just let me be your little not-quite-an-atheist daughter. I have a guardian angel. Pretty sure God’s looking over me whether I show my face in church or not.”

Mom sinks to sit on the edge of her bed, one hand on the pile of clothes. “Dresses and leggings. All comfortable. Not stodgy, as you’d say. In colors that I think you’d like. All I’m asking is don’t wear jeans. You know he doesn’t approve. Dress appropriately while you’re home.”

And try not to rock the boat.

Dad coughs, and Pels shakes her head. He’s standing next to the dresses, and any second now those dresses could go flying into the air, scattered around the room. That’s not what she wants. “Mom,” she says quietly.

“It’s for one week.” Mom rises, smoothing down her own skirt. “Wear your combat boots. I know you will anyway. But he pays for your tuition. Wearing a dress at home, in deference to his beliefs, can’t be that difficult.”

She closes the door behind her, a soft thunk like the lid closing on a coffin.

“She was different when we met,” Dad muses. “I remember her being so alive. Ready to be a part of the world, not withdrawing from it. She’s intelligent, and strong. Why does she…?”

“You remember my grandparents?” Pels mutters. She sifts through the dresses, finding one in a t-shirt fabric of dark maroon, with lighter swirls, and a pair of black leggings. She quickly changes, then laces up her boots over the leggings. “I don’t think Mom was ever really the person you knew. She never has been.”

She yells out on her way to the car, “Mom, I’m taking Cheyenne out for ice cream after school today,” then escapes before Mom could possibly say no.

They arranged this ahead of time. Pels arrives ten minutes after the final bell, pulling into the half circle in front of the school just after the buses pull out. Cheyenne sits on a low stone wall by the stairs, her bangs falling in curls around her face while her long hair is pulled back in a high ponytail. She flushes as the boy who sits with her tucks one of the curls back behind her ear.

Pels supposes he’s cute, in a very eighth grade sort of way. He’s about the same height as Cheyenne, and skinny like a stick. But even from a distance she can see a kindness in his dark eyes, and the gentle way his fingers touch her cheek, like she’s a precious thing to him.

She touches the horn lightly, and Cheyenne jumps up, pulling the boy with her. They grab their things, then both climb into the back seat of the car, like Pels is an actual chauffeur. “Hi, Pels, this is Adric,” Cheyenne chirps happily.

“Hey,” he says, with a quick bright grin, braces flashing on his teeth.

“Young love. It’s so cute,” Dad murmurs. Pels is thankful that no one can see her roll her eyes at him.

She glances up at the mirror. “Cheyenne, you have to tell me where we’re going. I don’t actually live here.”

Cheyenne flushes brightly, carefully withdrawing her hand from Adric’s so she can lean forward and point, directing Pels the few blocks until they reach the ice cream place. A sign in the store boasts “13 Flavors Made Fresh Daily” and as Cheyenne opens the door to get out, she says, “It’s not that they only have thirteen flavors, it’s that they make up thirteen fresh huge things of ice cream every day. So sometimes they have flavors from a day ago, if it’s one that’s not as popular. And sometimes they run out early, especially in the summer. They do all kinds of crazy flavors, and they have this big sundae that you can share and win a prize if you finish it in a half hour.”

Pels is pretty sure she’s seen a place similar to this everywhere she’s lived, including in Unity, by PHU. She tails along behind Adric and Cheyenne, who hold hands loosely in line, their shoulders lined up and just barely touching. Cheyenne tilts her head slowly until she just leans against him, and she makes a little squeak when he lets go of her hand and puts his arm around her shoulder instead.

“All it takes is letting yourself make a connection,” Dad says as Pels lines up behind them.

She crosses her arms and glares at him. “Not my thing,” she mutters. “Cheyenne’s good at all that shit. Like keeping in touch with people she went to school with two states ago. She gets how people work.”

“You could,” Dad says.

It’s not that Pels doesn’t want to. It’s always been such trouble. The moment she’d start to understand someone, her family would pick up and move, and she’d have to start all over again. “I’ll leave it to Cheyenne.”

“Leave what to me?” Cheyenne asks cheerfully, as Adric steps forward to place an order. “We’re sharing a sundae,” she whispers, as if it’s a scandalous thought. “We each picked two flavors and a topping, and I said it’s okay if he gets nuts on it, as long as they’re peanuts. And whipped cream. We have to have whipped cream.”

Pels blinks. “That is the most disgustingly cute thing I have ever heard and I have been watching people fall in love for a semester and a half.” She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind while ignoring Dad’s snicker. “What’s good here?” She waves at the long line of ice cream behind the glass counter.

“Depends on what you’re in the mood for.” Cheyenne looks up at the board, where flavors are handwritten under dates. Her tongue peeks out as her brow furrows thoughtfully. “They have Apple Strudel, and honestly, that is one of the best flavors ever, even if we’re not getting it in our sundae today. Cherry Delight is all dark chocolate and sour cherries, or if you just want chocolate you can go coffee flavored with a Mud Slide or decadent with Death by Chocolate or if you really want to just fall over in a chocolate induced sugar coma, there’s the Chocolate Mountain. It’s a sundae with a base of Milky White—which is a milk and white chocolate swirled flavor—then Mud Slide on top, and the peak is Death by Chocolate. And it’s covered in homemade hot fudge, and chocolate whipped cream.”

“That sounds evil.” Pels has a feeling she’s going to overdose, so as she steps up to request it, she adds, “In a to-go container, just in case I can’t finish.” When the girl behind the counter laughs, she gets the feeling she’s not the only one to ask that.

Adric and Cheyenne claim a table, and sit on one side of it, their knees pressed together as they lean in, poking at the sundae with their spoons and stealing bites of it while giggling. Adric eats with his left hand, while Cheyenne uses her right, and their other hands lie on the table between them, fingers tangled together.

It really is disgustingly cute.

She lifts her phone and takes a picture of the two of them—Dad standing behind them, gazing out the window, doesn’t show in the image. Then she opens the chat with Jess and Shane and tries not to overthink it as she types, My little sister has her first boyfriend and they are adorable.

She presses send, then turns her phone upside down on the table.

She’s digging at her sundae, eating the Milky White flavor first in spoonfuls covered in dark chocolate fudge and whipped cream, when her phone buzzes. She starts to pick it up, but catches a flurry of movement out of the corner of her eye. A large fake ice cream cone drops from where it hangs in the bay window, the point hitting the sill with a thud before it falls over with a loud crash. It tugs on the curtains decorating the sides of the windows, pulling them down in a clatter. Adric jumps up, his back to the window and his hands out, but the decorations never even come close to their table.

Or anyone’s table.

Because Dad’s the one pulling them down, and shoving them back into the window in a mess before they can hit anyone.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Pels snaps. “What the hell?”

Cheyenne makes a small noise. “Is this—one of those things?”

“Are you okay? It didn’t hit you, did it?” Adric sinks back into his seat slowly, one hand on Cheyenne’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, everyone.” The girl from behind the counter is there, pushing between their table and the window, walking right through where Dad stands guard. Dad’s gaze is fixed on something outside, and he ignores the girl who stands half in the same place as him. “Are you all okay? Let me just get this cleaned up and make sure it’s stable. I don’t know what happened.”

All around them the people closest to the windows are packing up to leave, except for their own table. Adric watches Cheyenne, who is staring at Pels. And Pels is glaring at Dad, waiting for some kind of an explanation.

“Pels?” Cheyenne says quietly.

Right. Shit. Cheyenne had asked a question. “Yeah,” Pels mutters. “It’s one of those things. Which means we really ought to get out of here because God only knows why it happened, and I sure as hell don’t want it to happen again.”

There’s dust on her skirt when she gets up, and she brushes it off so Mom doesn’t figure out that they’ve had an Event. When she goes to take a step, her chair slides in her way and she stumbles, grabbing onto the table before she trips. “What?” she snaps.

“Just wait a minute,” Dad says, his hand out.

Pels makes a show of looking at the bottom of her boot, like there’s some problem that caused her to trip. It gives Cheyenne and Adric time to get something to put the remains of their sundae into, and Cheyenne puts the lid on Pels’s sundae as well.

“We can go somewhere else to finish up,” Pels says under her breath, not sure if she’s talking to her sister or her Dad. When he nods, Pels motions for the other two to follow her.

She hangs back while they get in the car, standing by the closed door with Dad behind her.

“Peter was outside,” Dad says quietly. “You know how he’d feel about Cheyenne on a date.”

“It doesn’t matter. As long as I’m involved, it’ll be my fault, not hers, and that’s fine,” Pels mutters. “Just leave it. You don’t need to interfere.”

“It’s possible that I’m trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection,” Pels snaps. She yanks the door open and slides in, slamming the door behind herself. It doesn’t do any good—Dad’s in the passenger seat by the time she has her seat belt clicked into place—but at least it felt satisfying.

“Is everything okay?” Adric asks from the back seat. Cheyenne is digging a spoonful of ice cream out of their shared to-go cup, not meeting Pels’s eyes in the mirror.

“Yeah,” Pels says as she starts the car. “Everything’s going to be fine. But we probably shouldn’t stay out too long. I think Mom said that Peter would be home early tonight, and we’re having dinner together.”

“Who’s Peter?” Adric whispers.

“My Dad,” Cheyenne tells him, setting her spoon down. “But that still wouldn’t be for hours. He’s at the church now.”

Pels doesn’t say anything, figuring Cheyenne will eventually get the point. She starts driving, not sure where she’s going, but it gives her sister time to finish sharing her sundae with Adric in the back. She’s sure hers is melting, but that’s fine, it’ll taste okay as ice cream soup. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to drop Adric off.”

“It’s okay, my folks know I was going out, and they aren’t home anyway,” Adric says.

“Pels is right. Mom will be wondering where we are with the car,” Cheyenne says quietly. “But I think we’re okay for now.”

Pels uses the time to explore this small town downtown area. She realizes that the small stone church on one corner is probably Mom and Peter’s church, which would explain why he was out walking. But there’s plenty more to explore as well, and she drives by a large library that looks like it’s expanded since it was originally built and is large enough to hold both traditional books and space for online and group activities. If she has to come back in the summer, she could apply for a summer job, maybe. That’s assuming Peter’s ministry doesn’t take him somewhere else before PHU is out for the year.

Dad is blissfully silent as she drives, the only background noise the murmur of Adric and Cheyenne’s quiet voices in the back. Pels keeps a loose eye on them, but they remain adorable and cute, and nothing to worry about, their fingers linked on the seat between them. The part where they sit gazing at each other and smiling is almost sickeningly adorable, but Pels can put up with it, if it makes Cheyenne happy.

After a while, she coughs quietly, and Cheyenne looks up, cheeks flushed.

“Go back to the school,” Cheyenne says, and Pels thinks she might be able to manage that without explicit direction. “If you go to the street just past it, then down behind the school, Adric lives on that street. He usually walks in the morning.”

It takes a little more direction than that and one missed driveway and subsequent u-turn before Pels is parked in Adric’s driveway, watching them hold hands, foreheads close, as they say goodbye at Adric’s door.

When Cheyenne returns, she opens the front door and slides into the passenger seat as Dad moves to the back. “I have a secret,” she whispers, as she looks down and clicks her seat belt in place.

That’s not what Pels was expecting. “Is this going to be the kind of secret where I have to give you a very stern big sister lecture?” She tries to keep her tone light, but her heart is hammering in her chest.

Cheyenne looks up, eyes wide. “No. God, no. Pels. Gross. This doesn’t have anything to do with Adric. It’s a totally different secret. But.” She chews on her lip.

Pels wants to give her time to talk, so she pulls out of her parking space and gets on the road. She makes sure her GPS is up and running so she can find her way home later in this unfamiliar space as she just starts driving, aiming away from the house.

“It might’ve been my fault,” she says softly. “What happened back there.”

Pels blinks. She shares a look with Dad, reflected in the mirror. “In the ice cream shop? When things started moving around?”

Cheyenne nods, staring down at her hands. “Possibly. Sometimes things happen when I get… um… emotional. Usually I can control it, though, and I’ve been practicing, I swear, because I know that Talents can be a way for the devil to get in, but I don’t feel like I’ve got a devil in my heart. I just. I can move things without touching them.”

Oh.

“Wow.” Pels exhales hard, gripping the steering wheel too tightly. “Nearest park?”

Cheyenne points to a spot on the GPS screen that looks a couple of blocks away. Pels focuses on getting the car there and getting parked, so she can look at Cheyenne.

“Hey,” Pels says softly. “I promise you, what happened at the shop wasn’t the devil in your heart, and it wasn’t you. And Talent isn’t good or evil on its own; it’s all about the people who have it.”

“You said you’re Talented,” Cheyenne says. “But it’s always so—”

“Yeah, well, I’m not Telekinetic. Exactly.” Pels grabs the spoon sitting next to her covered cup of slowly melting ice cream. She holds out her hand, the spoon on the flat of her palm. “Show me,” she says.

She’s aware of Dad leaning over the seat, watching, but he doesn’t reach out. The spoon wobbles against Pels’s palm, then slowly lifts. It turns lazily in the air before Cheyenne reaches out and grabs it.

She worries at her lip with her teeth. “See?”

Pels takes the spoon back and sets it on her palm again. “My turn.” With a soft huff, she looks at Dad. He picks up the spoon and waves it about before he sets it back on her palm.

“You said you’re not Telekinetic.”

“I’m not,” Pels agrees. “And I’ve actually told Mom this, but she doesn’t listen. You know how my Dad died before I was born?” When Cheyenne nods solemnly, Pels points the spoon at the back seat. “What you can’t see is that he’s sitting right there, and that he is annoying as fuck most of the time.”

“Rude,” Dad says.

“You shut up.” Pels jabs the spoon in his direction. It occurs to her that as long as they’re sitting still, she can eat her cold ice cream soup, so she opens it up and takes a soggy bite. Yeah, it’s still good.

Cheyenne looks from the back seat to her. “You’re haunted,” she says slowly.

“I call him my guardian angel, which pretty much says that he can’t possibly be the devil, right?” Pels points out. “He’s been around since I can remember, and he’s always taken care of me. When things happen? It’s been to make sure worse things didn’t happen. Or to stop other things from happening. He has absolutely no tolerance for bullies, and I’ve been bullied a lot. On the other hand, when shit gets weird around me, I tend to get bullied more, so that backfires.”

She swallows another gulp of almost frozen ice cream drowned in melted whipped cream. It’s rich, and sweet, and so, so good. It helps calm her. She turns her wrist to face Cheyenne. “This is partly his fault. He shoved me into Shane’s lap.”

“I bumped you and you knocked into him,” Dad counters.

“Tomato tomahto,” Pels says curtly. “Point is, I wasn’t going to touch him until you got involved.”

Cheyenne blinks several times rapidly. “Why?”

“Care to field that one, Dad?” Pels asks, as if Cheyenne would be able to hear him.

“It was the right place for you to be.” He sits back, his arms crossed, eyebrows raised as if he dares her to contradict him.

“He thought it was the right thing to do,” Pels translates, even though that’s not exactly the same thing. “So he did it. Dad is not known for forethought or impulse control. I’m sure there’s a reason for why he acts and reacts the way he does, but I have no idea what it is. And Mom never believes me when I try to tell her.”

“So you have a secret by default, and I have one on purpose.” Cheyenne smiles slightly. “Thank you for listening to me.”

“Hey, I’m happy to.” Pels sets down her cup, reaching for Cheyenne’s hands instead. “We’re sisters, and we’ll stick together. But you can’t let Peter know. It’s possible that Mom would be reasonable, but his ministry is absolutely against Talent.”

“I’ve noticed,” Cheyenne says dryly. She tosses her head, ponytail swinging. “Didn’t I say I’ve got the devil in me? I’ve paid attention. He’d try to exorcise me.”

“Mom tried that with me,” Pels confides. “Didn’t work.”

“Did she really? I don’t remember that.”

“I think I was about your age, so you would’ve been what… eight?” Pels tries to remember the details, but it’s all hazy in her mind. She shakes her head. “I don’t remember you being there. Maybe you were at a sleepover or something. You’ve always been better at making friends than I have.”

And that makes her wonder… “How did you get to thirteen years old and I never knew you had a Talent? Did you just Emerge?”

Cheyenne’s gaze slides up, her expression innocent. “I just figured it out recently, but I think it’s been around all along. Like. It’s kind of easy to do things when other things just move to make it easier. But I didn’t really figure out what was going on until a couple months ago when I got really upset and all the pictures in my room started rattling. Then I knocked a mug off my desk because I got scared, and then I got more scared because I didn’t want it to break and everything just stopped. Froze. The pictures all clattered back into place when I grabbed the mug out of the air and then I realized I’d done it. So I started practicing.”

“You know you can talk to me any time, right?” Pels says. “Because you’re my sister. And now it looks like it’s you and me against the world. The two Talented demons. Okay?”

Cheyenne snickers. “We’re so demonic, aren’t we?”

“Absolutely.” Pels exhales. “So, there’s one thing Dad does well, and it’s that he’s a great early warning system. Peter was walking around outside the shop and Dad didn’t want him to see you and Adric earlier. So be careful about that, or that secret is going to be out.”

“No more downtown dates,” Cheyenne agrees. “But still.” She lets go of Pels to launch herself closer, throwing her arms around her and hugging her hard. “Thank you for taking us out. You really are the best big sister influence.”

“Aww,” Dad murmurs.

Pels holds on, because out of everyone in the universe, Cheyenne’s the one she’s going to protect first. “Any time. Anything you need, okay? I promise.”

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[leiascully]

Fic: Baseball Metaphors (9/?)

Part One  |  Part Two  |  Part Three |  Part Four |  Part Five |  Part 6 |  Part 7 |  Part 8

As @lyndsaybones put it, this is the seventh inning stretch.  PG.

When he comes in on Monday, he expects her to say something.  They've progressed much farther than he ever imagined when he first pretended to be her boyfriend.  He can't fathom that it isn't on her mind, especially given the fears she confessed.  But she just looks up at him with that sweet smile that has nothing behind it and he smiles back and goes to his desk.  He forgets, sometimes, how good she is at compartmentalizing.  Her "I'm fine" is always a lie, and he knows all her tells, but she's lost her father, her sister, her bodily autonomy, her professional aspirations, most of her friends, and perhaps her own future children: he's astounded she can even get out of bed, much less function the way she does.  No wonder she can get through the workday without undressing him with her eyes.  That doesn't mean there isn't a part of him who wishes her self-control weren't quite so ironclad.  

They talk about the case they've been called in on.  There are no allusions to situations or inspections.  Scully doesn't mention baseball in any capacity.  They put together a profile for the agents upstairs.  Mulder sifts through the news for anything that sounds like an X-File.

At lunch, she picks up a copy of the newspaper and brings it back to the office.  She sits down in her corner, shaking the paper open.  "Doing the crossword?" he asks.

She frowns.  "Jenny got my number somehow.  She keeps calling to tell me about the real estate ads she's read.  I have to have something to say."

He whistles.  "She's nesting for two, huh?"

"Two, four, five, whatever," she says, flipping to the ads and staring down at the tiny print.  "If I'd known it was going to be this involved to have friends again, I would have just pretended to have amnesia when Ethan walked into that bar."

"Are they our friends?" he asks.

She sighs.  "No, but imagine telling them that.  I can't make a pregnant woman cry."  She glances up at him.  "Besides, it's almost nice to have something to do with someone who's not you."

"I don't think I need to remind you that I'm there too," he points out.

"I didn't really call anyone," she says abruptly.  "After I came back.  Just Ellen, and it turned out that she'd moved to Texas for a job.  We still talk on the phone, but I haven't seen her since before.  Everyone else - it was almost a relief to feel like I was starting over.  But since then, I've only had you.  And Byers and Frohike and Langly, after a fashion, but they're your friends."

"I'm not enough?" he asks.  "I've always considered myself a handful."

"That isn't it at all," she says, shaking her head.  "It isn't about you not being enough.  You know how much I value our friendship."

"Do I?" he asks.

"I hope you do," she says earnestly.  "I wouldn't have made it back without you, Mulder.  You and Melissa, you were my anchors when I was ready to let the tide take me.  But the fact remains that I haven't had friends for a long time and it's strange to have someone want to be a part of my life like this.  Especially since she's under the impression that you and I are madly in love and careening toward the same life she has with the house and the kids and the happily ever after."

"Hmm," he says.  "A common misapprehension."

"And I can't correct it now," she says, gesturing with the paper, "because then we'll look delusional, or possibly sociopathic."  She snaps the paper back so that the creases fold smoothly.  "I'm afraid she's going to want to go look at houses with us."

"We'll tell her that it's a personal decision," Mulder suggests.  "Or, no, we don't want to impose.  It'll make her ankles swell to stand up for so long.  We're waiting on my investments to mature."

"Do you have investments?" she asks, gazing at him over the edge of her newspaper.

He shrugs.  "Probably."  Her sigh rattles the paper.  He frowns.  "Wait, did we already move in together in this fantasy?  Or were we going to find a new place first?  I seem to recall something about us needing a space we chose together rather than just consolidating into one of our existing places."

"Maybe we're waiting for your lease to run out," she suggests.  "You thought it was month-to-month, but your building management changed its policy.  And the real estate market moves so fast that there's no point in looking until then."

"I definitely have to pack," he says, thinking of his bedroom full of boxes.  "And so do you."

"There's no point in wasting imaginary money," she says.  She sets down the paper, looking relieved.  "I might still have to go to a few open houses, but we can't look seriously for another six months."

"Six months?" he asks.

She shrugs.  "You'd already signed a year's lease before we got together.  It's been a slow burn kind of romance."

"So they say."  He picks up the paper and turns to the crossword.  "Did we have an origin story?"

"What, like our eyes met over a corpse and we knew it was meant to be?" she asks.  "I don't think so."

"I'd say a stakeout got a little boring or surveillance got a little titillating," he suggests idly, "but I doubt you'd be into a tryst that began during working hours."

"You're right," she says.  "Maybe you had tickets to a baseball game."

"I like where you're going with this," he says approvingly, "but it's only May now and we're supposed to have been dating for a while.  Longer than a couple of months."

"Last season," she corrects.  "And then over the fall and winter, it just sort of blossomed."

"Date nights at the Smithsonian," he embroiders.  "Strolling through a farmer's market on a Saturday morning.  Dinners after work, strictly off-duty, of course.  Holding hands in a variety of art galleries.  A kiss on New Year's that made you see fireworks."

"Running dates on the Mall," she adds with a smile.  "Cherry blossom viewings.  Picnics by the Potomac."

"That one's true, if you count sunflower seeds and coffee as a picnic," he offers.  

"I don't," she says, but she's still smiling.  "But nicer than liverwurst and root beer in a stakeout car that always smells like feet."

"That sandwich saved my life," he says.

"You're welcome," she tells him.  "So our story is that we have six months until your lease is up and we hope by then they're too busy with the baby to ever talk to us again?"

"That's about the long and short of it," he says.   "People with newborns never have friends, right?"

"Right," she says decisively.  "They're too busy trying to sleep when the baby sleeps and making sure they have enough diapers."

"Scully," he says, and hesitates.  "I'm not going to tell you they're my favorite people, but what's your objection to being friends with Jenny, if she's coming at this from a place that's genuine?"

She sighs.  "She thinks our lives are the same.  They're not.  I can't imagine at this point in my life having the priorities she has.  You and I, Mulder, we live on some grander scale than most people, engaged intermittently in this kind of holy war against the forces of evil that want to reshape American society and the world.  I can't just go to Pottery Barn and pretend that none of it's happening.  I can't explain our cloak and dagger life to someone like her."

"Fair enough," he says.  

"There was a time in my life when I could have been Jenny," she says in a low voice tinged with irony.  

"Before the constant surveillance and the secret messages from covert informants and the conspiracy penetrating to the deepest levels of our government and way of life?" he asks.

"It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you," she quips, and he grins at her.

"It is strange," he says.  "To have people who expect to hear from us.  I'm sure we'll go out to dinner again this week."

"I'm sure," Scully says.  "Unless we get some kind of case that takes us out of town."  She looks wistful.

"You'd rather be chasing monsters in some backwater than having a nice dinner in a cosmopolitan city?" Mulder asks.

"I'd rather be with you than with them," she says, rolling her eyes.  "And maybe this time we'd be chasing monsters in Chicago or LA.  But at least it's my turn to pick a place.  I'll just make sure they have a good bar."

He frowns.  She has been drinking more at these dinners than she usually does.  He'd thought she was just stressed, but that isn't her normal coping mechanism.  Maybe it's to take the edge off.  Maybe it's more than that.  Maybe it's because pretending to date him is too much for her.  "You okay, Scully?"

"I drink so that nobody will ask if I'm pregnant," she says.  "Not because I have a problem."

"Not because the idea of being in a fake relationship with me is too much to bear?" he teases.

"I don't need my inhibitions lowered to kiss you," she says.  "Does that satisfy you?"

"It helps," he says.

She edges closer to him.  "I didn't have anything to drink at the movie, if you recall, and I don't think I seemed particularly inhibited afterwards."

"Uh, no," he says, trying to think about baseball, which really doesn't work anymore as a way to avoid an inconvenient hardon, after all their conversations.  "I can't say you did."

"Any activity I engage in is voluntary and uninfluenced by intoxicants," she says.  "Even if it is under the auspices of a sham relationship."

"I've been meaning to ask you about the utility of the kind of physical activity no one else sees," he says.  "Not that I want it to stop."

"I thought you were a method actor," she says.

"Definitely," he assures her.  

"It seemed to me that you were enjoying the process," she says.

"I am," he says quickly.  "I'm sure it adds dimension to our performance in the moment."

"We don't have to continue," she says, gazing steadily at him.  "I just felt like we could both use a reward for all our efforts."

"Better than a prize from the claw machine," he jokes.

"Expressing one's sexuality is an essential part of most adults' mental and physical health," she points out.  "And neither of us has had the time to pursue that in any extracurricular capacity, so to speak.  It's an expedient solution to a somewhat stressful situation."

"You make it sound so romantic," he murmurs.  

She tilts her head, looking at him with eyes that are both compassionate and amused.  "Should we light a candle next time?  Play some Marvin Gaye?"

"Ha ha," he says sarcastically.  He's kind of astonished she's still okay with candles, after Donnie Pfaster, but it isn't like he wants to bring that up.

She puts her hand over his.  "Mulder.  Nobody matters to me more than you do.  If kissing is complicating things, we can stop."

"No," he says.  "You're right.  It does help me unwind.  Who knew that a nice dinner out with a nice couple could be so exhausting?"

"I think it adds dimension to your acting," she teases.  "You really do look like you can't wait for dinner to be over."

"What can I say?" he asks.  "I've got a sweet tooth.  Dessert is my favorite part of the meal."  He looks her over deliberately, as if his meaning wasn't already clear.

"Hmm," she says in a playful tone.  "And here I thought I was the main course."

"You're a whole meal, Scully," he assures her.  "Seven courses at least."

"Good to know," she says, looking a little smug.  "Thai on Friday, or do you think that's too spicy for them?"

"You dated Ethan," Mulder reminds her.  "You don't remember what he liked?"

Scully rolls her eyes.  "Relationships change people," she says.  "And no, I don't remember what he liked.  A lot of things have happened since then."

"Thai's fine with me," he says.  "I'm sure there are some non-spicy options.  Or you could ask Jenny when she calls you tonight to tell you about houses."

She makes a non-committal noise.  "Then I'll have to hear about all the things that give her heartburn and various other types of indigestion."

"Sounds better than an autopsy report," he offers.

She levels a stern glance at him.  "Mulder, stop playing matchmaker.  I don't need to be friends with my ex's fiancée."

"Just trying to help," he says innocently.  "If it's inevitable, why fight it?"

"Do you even listen to yourself?" she demands.  "When have you ever decided not to fight something just because it was inevitable?"

"It's nice," he says.  "To see you having some kind of a life, the way you used to.  You used to have friends.  You used to go on dates.  I feel like I took all of that from you, Scully."

"I made a choice," she says fiercely.  "I made a lot of choices, Mulder.  They were my choices.  Don't ever imagine that you could take my agency from me."

"The things that have happened to you since you were assigned to this job," he begins, but she cuts him off.

"None of that is your fault," she says firmly.  "I decided to make your cause mine as well.  I knew it was dangerous.  It was my choice."

"I don't want you living a life that's less than full on my account," he says quietly.

She takes his hand again.  "My life isn't less than full," she tells him.  "Even if it's not the life I imagined when I was younger.  I wanted a pony when I was six.  The fact that I don't have one now doesn't mean I haven't realized my dreams.  I'm living the life I want."

"It doesn't always seem that way," he says.

"We all have moments of frustrating and wanting something else," she says.  "That doesn't mean I'm not happy most of the time, or that I'm unfulfilled.  If I'd wanted to leave, Mulder, I would have left.  Don't push me away just because you have some other aspirations for me.  That isn't fair.  You don't get to decide what's safe or right for me without my say."

He nods.  "All right."

"What I want right now," she says in a deliberate voice, "is to go out for Thai food with you and Ethan and Jenny on Friday.  I want to hear all about how the baby's started kicking and how the painters are finally finished and oh, we should come and see the place once they get all the furniture put together, and how nice, here's our invitation to their baby shower slash housewarming, and gosh, they're coming up on their limit of guests for the wedding but they'd just love if we were able to make it, and isn't it a nice surprise that we all get along so well even though I used to fuck her soon-to-be husband."

"I can see why you'd need some stress relief after that," he says, smiling.

She smiles back.  "Remind me what third base is?"

"Uh, everything but," he says, fumbling his words.  "If I remember correctly."

"You seem to have retained your expertise despite what seems to be a dry spell," she teases.

"Just happy to be involved," he jokes back, trying very hard not to think about his midnight encounter with an aspiring vampire.  He had his own stress to relieve while Scully was missing.  Maybe he should have gone to grief counseling instead, but it would have been difficult to explain that he was, in fact, heartbreakingly and completely in love with his partner, who had been assigned to undermine him and then disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

"It's nice that we can have these different facets of our friendship," she says thoughtfully.  

"Definitely," he says.  "I wouldn't want to go through this gauntlet with anybody but you, Scully."

She smiles and licks her lips, looking like she might kiss him if they weren't in the office.  "Bring your appetite on Friday."

"I will," he assures her, and she lets go of his hand, and they're back to work, as professional as they can be.

[wintrcaptn]

Written In The Stars | Bucky Barnes ✨

Summary : There was a severe storm where you were, which delayed your flight. As you sat in the airport, waiting for time to pass, you run into someone who will forever change your life. AU

A/N : yes, this is from my old blog. Enjoy!

The airport was crowded with strangers. All huddled in, either on their phones or staring at their laptops. Even the kids had a device of their own, eyes glued to the screens as if they were hypnotized. 

You sighed playing with the pages of your book. It’s been two hours since you arrived, and you were nowhere near boarding. 

The storm was chaotic, and even if you wanted to forget the trip and go back to your warm and comfortable apartment, you couldn’t leave. The roads were closed off around the area. Which only meant, you were stuck. 

There was a slight cold breeze, radiating from outside. Creating you to shiver though you were wrapped up in your coat. Not even the body heat around you could keep you warm. 

You suddenly remembered passing a coffee shop when you were running to catch your flight. It wasn’t too far, and you were sure it could help pass time. As you made your way to the coffee shop, you rummaged through your purse, looking for your card. 

“Dammit, where is it?” You grumbled to yourself. 

Without paying any attention to your surroundings, your body collided right into broad shoulders, almost making you fall. The sound of paper shuffling, and a soft grunt hummed in your ears.

“Crap! I’m so sorry!” You said, hoping you didn’t hurt anyone and bending down to retrieve the papers that fell. 

The stranger slightly chuckled, as he hunched over as well to help you. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” 

His voice made the hairs of your neck stand up. It was low and rough, but slightly kind of intriguing. You slowly looked up, and met the gaze of the most alluring blue eyes you have ever seen. They were warm, but inviting. 

He helped you up to your feet, his hand molding with yours, it created a sudden flutter in your stomach. “T-Thank you.” You stammered. 

The man before you was tall, making you crank your neck just to see him. And you definitely took the time to look over him. Your gaze traced over his long messy brunette hair, to his worn combat boots. He was lean, and perhaps well built under that heavy coat that draped over him. 

His lips slightly twitched up, flashing you a faint smile. “Are you okay?” He asked, a bit worried. 

You snapped out of your daze, and nodded. “Y-Yea, I’m fine. I am so sorry again, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, his lips curving more by the second. “It’s fine. Trust me. All that matters is that no body got hurt.” 

There was something about him that drew you to him, and you couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. But you shook off the thoughts immediately, and cleared your throat. 

“Um, here. I believe these are yours.” You muttered, handing over the pile of papers. 

As he reached for his belongings, you couldn’t help but glance down. They were drawings of people. Breathtaking silhouettes and portraits. 

“Thanks.” He muttered, catching your attention once again. He slipped the papers into his bag, and returned his gaze to you. “I’m James, but people call me Bucky.” 

“Y/N.” You smiled. “I’m lame, I don’t have a cool nickname like yours.” 

As you both chuckled from your cheesy joke, you couldn’t help but shiver from the cold breeze you felt earlier. It reminded you of what you were doing there in the first place. You glanced behind him at the line and suddenly you thought of something. 

“How about I buy you some coffee?” You asked. “Its the least I could do since I plowed right into you.” 

Bucky curved his lips, and ran his hand through his long locks. “That’d be great.” He stepped to the side and motioned for you to lead the way. 

You could feel his stare though you were a few feet in front of him. It made your heart begin to race, something you haven’t felt in a while. 

Finally, you reached to the front of the line. The barista seemed exhausted, and a bit annoyed, but the moment her eyes laid on Bucky’s features, her whole demeanor changed. 

“Hi, what can I get tarted for you?” She asked with a flirtatious smile. 

“I’ll have a small white chocolate mocha please.” You decided to answer first, just so she knows you were there too. 

The barista didn’t give you the time of day, she just punched in your order, and returned her eyes to Bucky. “And for you sir?” She bit her lower lip. 

Bucky shifted in his stance, pushing his hair back as he looked over the menu behind her. He was obviously not paying attention to the poor girl, it was kind of entertaining to watch. 

“I’ll just have a cup of black coffee, nothing else.” He smiled. 

“Of course.” 

You gave the barista your card, and paid for the two beverages. 

“Thank you.” Bucky whispered, leaning closer to you. 

The barista handed your card back, along with your order. With one last glance, you smiled. “No problem.” You stated. “It was nice meeting you.” 

Before he had the chance to respond, you started walking toward the back. hoping to find a single seat. You were scanning around, looking from one side to the next, until suddenly a couple got up from the table in the very back by the window, and made there way out of the shop. 

“Sweet.” You mumbled to yourself. 

Walking over, your phone went off, startling you for a second. 

“Hello?” you breathed, placing your purse down onto the table as you took a seat. 

“Hi sweetheart, just wondering what the update is.” Your mother asked. 

You let out a soft sigh, looking out the fogged window. “Still the same. Looks like this storm is going nowhere.” 

“Are you serious? Have you tried another flight, or a cab?!” 

“Mom, seriously there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even go home if I wanted too.” 

She only but huffed, and you could imagine her roll her eyes as well. 

“You can’t miss Christmas. This is the only time we ever get to see you.” She exclaimed. 

“I know. I’ll try my best. Okay?” 

“Okay sweetheart.” There was a long pause and for a moment, you thought the line had disconnected. 

“Hello?” 

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Your mother said. “Your sister and Todd have decided to show up after all.” 

Your heart felt as if it had dropped to the pit of your stomach. Your mothers words played in your head over and over again. 

“I didn’t know they would-” 

“It’s fine.” You lied. “Look, I have to go. My phone is about to die and all the outlets are being used at the moment. I’ll call you when I leave.” 

You heard your mother sigh. “Okay, love you. Be safe.” 

“You too.” You ended the conversation abruptly and shoved the phone back into your purse. 

Every part of you felt heavy. As the thought of Todd began to make your stomach churn. After all this time, you had hoped not to hear that name again. But here it was. Bringing back all the painful memories you thought you erased. 

“Is this seat taken?” A familiar voice rang from behind you. 

Looking back, your lips curved into a smile. It was Bucky. The cute stranger from just a few minutes ago. “No, not at all.” 

Bucky smirked, and walked over to the seat across from you. As he plowed down, he placed his bag over his lap, and ran his fingers through his hair. Something he did quite frequently. 

“Thanks, all the seats are being used.” 

“Aw, and here I thought you were just stalking me.” You teased. 

Bucky belted out into laughter, his shoulders bounced up and down. “You caught me!” 

“So, where are you off too this Christmas?” You asked. “Let me guess, the Bahamas? Completely opposite from this crappy weather.” 

“I wish!” He exclaimed. “But I am actually returning back from visiting my Sister and niece. I was hoping to catch a cab but the storm decided otherwise.” 

“Why didn’t you stay for Christmas?” Bucky shrugged his shoulders, taking a quick sip of his black coffee. Immediately burning his lip. “My sister wanted to spend the holidays with our father and lets just say he and I don’t get along too well.” 

You glanced down at your hands, feeling like a prude for asking him too many questions. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” 

“Its okay.” He cut you off. “What about you?” 

You decided to act on the sudden subject change and not ask anymore questions about his family. “Well, I am visiting my parents back home. It’s the only time we get to see each other really, so I try to make an effort to visit them. Though I wish I could skip out this year.” 

Bucky tilted his head, as he leaned back into his chair, lingering on every word that fell from your lips. 

“My sister and her boyfriend are going to be there, and I definitely don’t want to see them.” You exhaled. “Her boyfriend is my Ex.” 

“Oh.” Was all Bucky could say. He didn’t know how to react to something like that. The pain in your voice was so distinct, he could see just how much it hurt you. And though he wanted to know more, he didn’t want to force you into talking about anything you weren’t comfortable with. 

“But anyways, enough with the family drama.” You chuckled. “I noticed your drawings earlier. They’re really amazing.” 

He swallowed hard, clenching his jaw tightly as he held his gaze with yours. His drawings were something personal to him. Something he never shared with anyone because it was just a way to escape from reality. “Can I see them?” You asked. 

“Thanks, but they aren’t finished.” 

“Well from what I saw, I thought they were breathtaking.” He took another sip of his drink as well as you. The first sip felt so soothing as it went down. Definitely what you needed. 

Both you and Bucky talked for what seemed like forever. You learned a lot about him. From his favorite book, to the cute little childhood stories. You both shared so much about your lives, you were beginning to feel as if you had known the guy all your life. 

He made your stomach hurt from laughing, and your cheeks ache from smiling so much. But it was the best few hours you’ve had with a guy since Todd. 

“Okay, serious question.” Bucky muttered, pushing his hair back. 

“Uh oh! Here it goes.” You chuckled. 

“If your house was on fire and you had-” He paused and shrugged as he came up with a number. “And you had 60 seconds, what would you take?” 

You were taken aback, furrowing your brows as your locked your gaze with his. “What?” You breathed. 

“If your house was-” 

“Yeah, no. I heard you, I just-I don’t know. I never thought about it.” You whispered. Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the loud sound of a woman’s voice speaking through the intercom. She was informing everyone that the storm had passed, and it was time to begin boarding passengers. 

You swung your legs and hopped out of the chair, and pulled your purse over your shoulder. “Man, i didn’t even get to enjoy my White Chocolate Mocha!” 

Bucky propped up on his feet as well, looking a bit bummed from the quick end to the conversation. “Guess thats you?” He asked. 

You nodded and forced a smile. “Yep. Off to spend some quality time with my awesome family.” 

“If your mom made that oh so amazing apple pie you talked so highly about, I’m sure it’ll be one hell of a trip.” He winked, making you snort with laughter. 

“Fingers crossed.” 

“It was nice to meet you, even if it were just a few hours.” He smiled. “I had a great time.” 

“Me too. I enjoyed hearing your crazy stories about You and your best friend-Steve right?” 

Bucky nodded, answering your question without a single word. “You guys are crazy.” You chuckled, reaching your hand out to him to shake.

This was it, you had to say goodbye to the stranger that somehow made you feel happy in such a short amount of time. Bucky reached for your hand, and pulled you into him. Giving you a gentle hug. He was warm, and so comfortable, you couldn’t help but feel safe in his arms. As if you were meant to be exactly right where you were. 

You barely knew one another, but somehow, you both felt such a strong connection. Like a pull you both couldn’t escape from. As he held you close to him, Bucky was trying to find the courage to kiss you. Every part of him feigned for that touch, since the moment you bump into him. He was so mesmerized by you, it was insane. But he was too late to make his move. 

Clearing your throat, you took a step back, pulling yourself away from him. Though a part of you didn’t want to leave. “Well I ought to be leaving. Don’t wanna miss my flight.” You said awkwardly.

“Yeah, of course.” Bucky smiled. 

“Goodbye, and good luck with everything.” You turned on your heels and made your way to the terminal. Leaving Bucky behind, with his thoughts running wild. He watched you until you faded into the crowd, until you were no longer visible. 

“Good job.” He mumbled to himself. 

Bucky reached for his belongings, until something caught his eye. And in that moment, as he reached for your phone that laid still on the table, a little pinch of hope sparked inside of him. Maybe this was fate giving him another chance? or maybe it was just coincidence. He wasn’t sure. But he knew one thing for sure, he wasn’t going to let his second chance go to waste.

[rin-recovery]

1 year clean and sober Chair (7/7/21)

I’m Katherine A grateful dual diagnosed Alcoholic. (Pause)

What it was like: I was born into a quiet dysfunctional family. I was placed in foster care when I was 2ish because of this. When we (my older sister and I) were placed back with our mom we moved across the U.S. from Massachusetts to Vancouver Washington because we had family here and I had what I thought was a normal up bringing, on the outside it looked like a normal low-income family, but my mom was very much present and involved in my education unlike most of the other kid’s parents who I hung out with. However, behind closed doors my family was falling apart. My grandpa who I looked at like a father was an alcoholic, would always have a beer in hand while driving to pick us up from school, my dad did not enter my life until after I was 6 or 7 years old and what I thought was normal discipline was not, long story short my childhood left my brain literally broken. As young as 5th grade I wanted to die and could not explain why that was always a thought. The school and one of my friends thought it was because my great grandpa who I was very close with had died that year, but I knew it was not the only reason. Starting at a young age my parents attempted to try and help us make good choices around alcohol. My parents train of thought was if they allowed drinking in the house, we would not go behind their backs and party, and for the most part it worked. So, I started drinking small amounts of alcohol around the age of 8. In middle school I started hanging around the wrong crowd and by high school I was a mess. My drinking progressed from small amounts to large very quickly during that time. My mental health was so bad that I missed a month of school in 10thgrade due to a suicide attempt. I was self-harming, drinking, running away and overdosing on Benadryl and over the counter sleep aid regularly that my mom finally told one of my teachers after he called about me crying and walking out of my 11th grade English class that if I was going to kill myself nothing anyone did for me was going to stop me. 12th grade I barely was able to graduate due to the amount of school I was skipping and if it were not for my English teacher staying after school to help me with my math, I would not have graduated at all. When my best friend died in an ATV accident the summer after we graduated, I lost the will to live and again ended up in the hospital for a week over a suicide attempt and had to drop out of college because I could not get the work done, I lost 2 scholarship because of it and would eventually lose financial aid due to 2 more dropouts due to my mental health. At the age of 20 I got married to someone I thought loved me for me, but I found out in a short period of time how wrong I was about him; however, it was too late to walk away, and no one intervened due to him looking and acting mentally sound and me being bat shit crazy on the outside but behind closed doors it was a different story. My drinking and wanting to die only grew worse because I was hating my life and could never do anything right by my then husband. The only time I was mostly sober was when I was pregnant, but I was still regularly self-harming during that time. I was a closet alcoholic and tried to control it around my 2 boys who I try to keep living for as well. 7 years of marriage full of domestic violence and a lot of other not so great things ended with him walking out the door 3 days after Christmas of 2017 with the threat that if I tried to get a divorce, he would make my life a living hell by taking the boys away and never letting me see them again. My drinking, self-harming and overdosing went off the chart because of the fear of my ex and I was going to the hospital or my current boyfriend was having to come out and find me at bus stops or walking around trying to either get picked up by random people or get to the I5 bridge to jump off of (this all happened after my kids were in bed and asleep and my mom was home) all while trying to get and hold down a job while also trying to take care of my 2 special needs boys during the day time. About 2

years ago I was diagnosed with D.I.D. (Dissociative identity disorder) so literally my brain is broken into about 46 known pieces as of right now. Life started making more sense however it fixed nothing. It only explained why I have little to no memory of growing up or anything that was or is overly stressful. My boyfriend was having his own problems with bad med management, so I helped him while pretending/not caring about my own drinking and using. He got better as I kept getting worse. I finally got a job doing peer support which I had been wanting to do for 4 years and was certified to do and started working in a treatment center. Long story short I started to feel like a fraud at work every day. I was telling the ladies how to better their lives and I was losing it every time I was not at work. So, after talking with my counselor, he referred me to a SUD program, and I went. I told my SUD counselor flat out that I would not go to any groups because of the work that I did, I just wanted vivitrol to control the urges that at this point were out of control. No A.A. for me because I did not want to run into people who might know me from work. Well, that did not work out so well. I relapsed July 5th. My SUD counselor told me to go to A.A. so I did. I found the only in person meeting at the time, which was here, and I made an effort to get to as many meetings as time would allow. I let fear stop me from asking anyone to be my sponsor (1 because there were not many women at the meetings I was going to because RBR had just reopened their noon meetings due to the shutdown and 2 I feared that my mental health was too bad for anyone to handle) I was sober because I held onto the message NO MATTER FUCKING WHAT WE DON’T DRINK or USE! My job changed from the treatment center to the crisis center and just being sober was taking a toll. The fighting between my boyfriend and I was at an all-time high and I was slowly getting to the point that either I needed to be dead or I would drink again so on Aug. 17th after a week filled with 2 suicide attempts and my first week working graveyard at the crisis center I went to the 7pm meeting, filled my heart with all the hope it could hold, went home and told my kids that I loved them, tucked them into bed, packed a bag and had my boyfriend take me to the psych hospital. On the drive I text a few women in this room to say where I was going and that when I got out, I would get a sponsor because every message I heard said get a sponsor and work the steps to get better and I really wanted to get better. A week later I got out of the hospital no longer wanting to die or drink. I prayed really hard to a Man that I struggled to talk to or believe in to point out a woman who could handle ALL of me, already kind of knowing the woman He had picked out because she had taken me to her church once and had called me out at a meeting for not having a sponsor yet. So, on Sep. 9th after 62 days clean and sober and 39 meetings I asked Danira to be our sponsor and she said yes. Well first I texted her on the 8th and asked because I had no idea how it worked and Danira also intimidated us, we talked on the 9th and then she said yes. I would love to tell you all that my life got better however that would be a lie. With 46 known alter/personalities and a large majority not wanting recovery this process has been really difficult but also very rewarding. From September to the end of October I was making progress in leaps and bounds but then we got covid and everything stopped in November. I could not get my vivitrol shot and I could not go to an in-person meeting. My brain stopped working, it reverted to survival. I held onto NO MATTER WHAT to try to make day to day work for us to not relapse. We stopped picking up the phone and started staying up late hours not moving so we did not do something stupid. We still were able to do our gratitude daily and were grateful for waking up without a relapse each and every day. I do not remember much from November to January besides, we kept saying WE DON’T DRINK OR USE NO

MATTER WHAT. We finally were able to get back to the meetings regularly and while no we do not talk a lot due to our brain not being able to hold coherent thoughts most of the time, we are still in the meeting. Standing to get our 6th and 9th month coins was one of the happiest moments in our life. Working the steps have been hard but we keep pushing through. Danira has not given up on us yet and we try to push ourselves to make her, my kids and boyfriend proud.

NO MATTER WHAT looks like when my youngest is losing it by screaming in our face or hurting me physically we do not get the damn bottle because it will not fix anything (despite what some think in our head). My kids have already been through so much of me being selfish with my drinking and rampage problems. They need their mom to get out of self and learn to be a better parent for them. NO MATTER WHAT looks like when I cannot sleep, or I am suffering from high physical pain I don’t get weed or pills to numb it all because it is a short fix that will make all the hard work, we put in all for nothing. We do not have another relapse or recovery in us, if we went out, we would never come back and that is not an option just ask Danira, I tried once it ended with her at my front door with backup. NO MATTER WHAT looks like when two of my sponsee sisters and sponsor shows up at my house after a night of crisis that I follow my sponsor’s directions to go back to the hospital to stay safe and come back to my baseline even when I do not want to because she will not gamble with our lives or my boys’ lives. Side note: because of God leading me to Danira and Danira never giving up on us and because I was able to mostly follow her direction to go back into the psych hospital again, not that I was given much of a choice in the matter, we now have a counselor that knows what they are talking about and is able to help us move forward in our recovery in both the mental and addiction aspects. NO MATTER WHAT is a statement I only knew in a bad way. I would say NO MATTER WHAT I was going to be dead by the time I was 16, 18, 20, 25,30 years old now I say NO MATTER WHAT we are going to keep going and keep fighting this fight because I have 2 little boys that need me. NO MATTER WHAT my ex does to me NO MATTER WHAT anyone does to me we do not need to drink or use to fix it despite what the others might think in the head.

So, to the newcomer I want to leave you with this message NO MATTER WHAT it takes it is a one day, one moment at a time program and it is spiritual progress not perfection, it is a “we” program not an “I” program and these men and women will stand with you to fight this disease as long as you let them in.

WE DON’T DRINK OR USE NO MATTER FUCKING WHAT!!

Thank you.

[rain-penguin]

Oh boy I finally found the time to update my oc ref for sploon two

Aika (19):

She is your standard fangirl who reads fanfics and ships her friends. Reink’s her younger brother. Has a bubbly personality. She is single but likes people with anyone with purple ink and green eyes.

She was born with her front long tentacles in the back and her small back tentacles in the front and her irises are smushed so it makes it harder to see. These differences caused her be often become the victim of bullying and so she is seen as an outcast unless Reink can convince them otherwise. As a result of her crushingly low self esteem, she’s resulted to wearing color contacts which has inevitably melted into her eyes from prolonged wear, thus making her blind.

Daisuke:

He is the dead one that should of lived longer.

The deceased father of Reink and Aika. Currently drawn as himself when he was 19, he was a captive to the octolings during the Great Turf Wars and died young from poison testing (I want to say mid thirties-ish?). Due to his rather small stature, he was ridiculed and seen as a dispensable compared to others his age. Due to that, he sees himself as a sort of sacrifice for the greater good.

his life was a mess

Reink (say it like Reign) (17):

He’s the snarky lazy one. Aika’s his older sister. Also, he is Agent 4 and boyfriends with Prussian.

Like Aika, his tentacles are weird too, both his long tentacles grow from one side and are different lengths. This doesn’t look as weird his sister’s deformations so people don’t bother him about it very much. Despite this, due to the pestering of his sister, his self esteem has degraded to nothing. Instead of being suicidal and depressed from his low self esteem, he has devoted his life to others as he views his death will only hurt those around him. Thus now he lives off of the livelihood of others. If all of the people close to him decide to leave, he’ll shrug his shoulders and die without a second thought.

Unfortunately, he meets the same fate as his father; captured by octolings. Ultimately saved, he now faces regular angsty teen problems.

Prussian (19):

He is the deceiving one. Horizon is his older sister. Also, completely oblivious to what’s going on. He is boyfriends with Reink.

He and his sister were born in a well off family, both parents being in the medical field and wishing their children to follow suit. Horizon being the kickass she is rejected this and went to live life on the edge. With Horizon gone, Prussian’s parents shifted their expectations to Prussian and hammered him to become the doctor he never wished to be. Realizing his parents were using him only to fulfill their own desires, he figured why not do the same with his peers as he befriends inklings he thinks are skilled at turf wars to form teams and to climb the ranks.

Alex (20):

She’s an octoling soldier is disguise. Well, use to be. Now that Marina’s around she can go uncovered and live a normal life with inklings. Most everyone mistook her as a guy during her time disguised. Once she revealed herself as an octoling it became pretty apparent she wasn’t one. Has a rather quiet personality. She is girlfriends with Pandora.

Coming from a lower walk of life than Pandora, Alex only started to live her life after being picked up from the gutters. Kouta basically raised her and introduced her to Pandora. Due to Pandora being born as an elite, the only way Alex could be acceptably together with her was if she were to raise her ranks through her status as a soldier. After much hard work, she finally was able to be a part of the elite. However, her first mission was to disguise herself as an inkling in Inkopolis, obviously apart from her love. Her efforts were for nothing.

However, now that octolings are being accepted into inkling society, Pandora has moved in with her and they both live happily together.

Pandora (21):

She is the precious octoling engineer. Despite being how elite and smart as she is, her fellow octarians don’t take her seriously because she’s “Too cute” for the job. She doesn’t like to fight but will when she has to fill in for someone. Her personality is cute in every which way. She is girlfriends with Alex.

Despite seeming to be the successor to Kouta’s intelligence, her works as an engineer were highly disregarded due to her being female. It is only when Kouta tells her drunkenly to “use wot she got to do wot she got too do” that she started to woo the higher-ups to get them to pay attention to her and her work. Being apart from Alex pains her and she eventually runs away to Inkopolis after being harassed by her boss.

Es (19): 

He is the escaping hacker. He always carries his laptop which he’d let no one see the screen of. In between matches he would type away on it, sometimes murmuring puns under his breath and the common “Hacker voice- I’m in.” Single and questionably straight; he’s open for options.

He outrightly refused to tell anyone his real name and insisted everyone refer to him as “Es.” He made it apparent to all around him that he was a “very busy man” and “really shouldn’t be wasting his time on some silly game of turf wars.” He always wore clothes that were out of style or did not match. A prime example of this was the combination of his carnivore tee with a pair of socks and sandals.  

Horizon (24):

She is the coolest kid on the block. She is Agent 3. She is the ultimate “Senpai,” not that Reink cares. Single and straight.

Running away from her well off family to pursue her own interests, Horizon has burdened her brother with the weight and pressure of their parents. However, Prussian does not let her know that and they still are on pretty good terms. Being the less intelligent of the siblings, she quickly ran into financial problems and delved into the shady world of drugs and alcohol. It was only when she was asked to be agent 3 that she pulled herself up from her bootstraps and made a new image of herself. She is now clean and detests her actions in the past.

Kouta (old as balls):

He is the lead biologist octoling. He slacks off on his job, but he’s good at what he does so no one can really fire him. He’s always high on something. His traumatic experiences during the Great Turf Wars lead him to make Dæmon and later abandon him. He is good friends with Pandora. It’s hard to tell what kind of person he really is because he is almost always drunk and/or high. He is single, but cannot let go of his past feelings.

he is a mess

Curiosity (13):

She is, as her name implies, curious. Also the younger sister of Pandora.

Born just as Pandora began making a mark as the genius engineer she is, her parents separated both of them as they found her to distract Pandora from her work and studies. However, they still meet and write to each other in secret. Her left hand was made by Pandora as a present to her.

People rumor that she has killed a cat before just because she was curious to see what would happen.

Dæmon:

He’s the mom of the whole bunch. Piman, who he almost killed, is his precious friend because others are too scared to talk to the over-2-meter-tall giant that he is. He is made by Kouta and claims to remember nothing from his past. Despite his looks, he is rather friendly unless you make him mad. Single, but isn’t looking for love at the moment.

he is also a mess

Piman (18):

They’re the Shinji of my squid ocs. They’re lost and doesn’t know what to do with life. Lucky for them Dæmon, who almost accidentally killed him, looks out for them and their mental health now. Has a shy and finicky personality. Single, but not looking for love at the moment.

Their past is… complicated (; ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) But one thing’s for sure, they’re in hiding.

[bbreactions]

GD: “Don’t try me.”

Words: 1,9k

Short summary: 

You were at a fashion show with your boyfriend- Gdragon.It was great until you met your ex....

A/N:

Hello~

How have you been, my readers? I hope you’re doing okay~ 

As some of you might noticed I use the name Wang Chi Ang from the drama Moorim School, but it’s just the name that I took. Well a bit of character and his looks I borrowed too. 

Tell me if you liked it~~

You were carrying your suitcase downstairs, struggling not to let it go. Jiyong came inside and helped you. He picked up the case and took it to the taxi. In your high boots and a black tight dress, you came outside, remembering you forgot your jacket. Your black leather jacket was laying on the couch on the first floor. When you come back the taxi driver humped and surprised you.

You sat in and carefully looked at the driver. You were very picky with who drives you because you were in a car accident once and it made your life turn around. It was lucky, you met Jiyong in the next days. It was really lucky. Because you were driving in a car with her sister he came to look at her because he was worried, but instead, he found you in a coma. He felt really sorry because you were in an accident because of his sister, so he treated you a dinner when you got better and ever since then you became closer. You became so close, he asked you out on a date. Now you are dating. The car started and moved. You grabbed his waist and tried to calm down. He was the only one who knew how scared you were driving in a car. He helped you a lot to get over that fear and it was much better now. He is caring boyfriend and you are very grateful about that. While the drive took only about 30 minutes, you couldn't wait to arrive at the airport and fly to France. You were both (including you-YEY!) invited to Chanel's summer/spring Fashion Show in Paris. You've never been to France and you didn't know how to speak French either. You downloaded an app on your tablet and learned some basics of French. "Bonjour. Comment allez-vous?" "Je vais bien, merci." he answered. You didn't know he knows French as well but when you looked at his phone you found the same app you were using at the moment. "You cheater..." you gave him a glance and he smiled. You liked fashion a lot. You actually own your own brand in South Korea and it is very successful. You loved Victoria secret's fashion shows the most. You arrived at the airport at 9 p.m  and went to the hotel by taxi. The hotel was in the middle of the city and it had a nice view. It had 5 stars which meant it was a really good hotel. When you entered the hotel, everything was in white. It was all from marble. You found it very attractive. This kind of rock is really beautiful and it looks the best. He came after you and took your hand. His fingers were intertwined with yours. His hand was warm since you were cold and freezing. It was odd because it is spring but the temperature was really low. He reserved a special VIP room just for you. You couldn't wait to see it. You felt weird saying VIP because every time you thought of his fans who are probably angry because you are dating him. You haven't had the chance to see replies about your relationship, from the fans, and at this point, you didn't want to ruin the weekend. This weekend is gonna be lit. It's gonna be awesome. Nothing will ruin it. The hotel receptionist opened big white doors and you saw the living room and bedroom. It was beautiful. White leather couch and black armchairs. You could see paintings on the wall and a king sized white-black bed. You loved this kind of rooms-urbanized look. The Fashion show will start at 6 p.m. and it was only 1 p.m. so it was lunch time. Because you felt tired from the flight you decided to rest for a bit. You were woken up by the sound of someone coming in the apartment. It was your stylist. She came exactly 2 hours before the Fashion show. She did your hair and put on makeup. Jiyong came an hour before the fashion show and quickly got dressed. Before you left the apartment you locked the door and took the elevator. In front of the hotel there were many fans waiting for Jiyong, so your car was waiting in the parking garage. You sat in the black car and put your seat belt on. Ever since that crash you always put your seat belt on and make sure the person who's driving with you is buckled up too. Jiyong knew you were very sensitive about that and he got used to it and did it automatically. As the driver rode through the Paris streets, you saw Starbucks  McDonalds and some other building you also have in Korea. You arrived at a large building with an interesting design. You could see the ionic columns and many ornaments which looked gorgeous. The car stopped and there were many paparazzi and other people waiting behind the fence. There was a red carpet on the ground and you felt very important at the moment. You took a moment to go deep in your thought and calm yourself down when someone opened the door and Jiyong asked you if you're ready. You nodded and stepped out of the car and waved your hair back. Jiyong offered you a hand and you took it. You comfortably walked in the building and he was holding your hand like a real gentleman. You looked right in front of you and stopped. You were deciding whether you should turn around and run or just call security to take you back to the hotel. In that desperate moment, your face expression was really bad and your eyes teared up. It was only one person who could make you cry that easily. His name is Wang Chi Ang  Your ex-boyfriend. You hated the time when he was your boyfriend  He thought money can buy everything. You were in high school back then and his father is the CEO of one of the most influenced companies in Korea and China. Wang Chi Ang was madly in love with you and at some point, you fell for his charms too. He was a great boyfriend for a while. But when he introduced you to his father everything went down. His father wanted to make Chi Ang ready to be the next CEO of the company and a girlfriend was an obstacle. He did everything to make Chi Ang different and harsh. At one point he was violent to you too. It was horrible. Your break up was after a year of great dates and wonderful moments you spent together. You had enough and left him, for your own good. After so many throwbacks in your brain you almost collapsed on the ground but luckily Jiyong caught you. He looked really worried. "Are you okay? What happened?" "I-I-I'm fine. Everything... is...umm- okay." It happened. The thing you feared the most. He was walking towards you. "Annyeong Y/N~~ I didn't know you'll be here..." he said with a cheerful voice you used to back then. Jiyong looked really surprised and didn't know what's happening. "And who exactly are you?" "Oooh... You didn't mention me to him... I'm disappointed... I thought we are friends, Y/N~" he continued. You could see the teasing look in his eyes, you knew he was trying to make Jiyong angry, so he'll lose the good reputation since Chi Ang was more known here than GD was. "We're not friends. Let's just go Jiyongie...Leave him, he's too petty to even speak to him." you tried to give him a sign to stop, but clearly he didn't get it, even though you saw the spark in his eyes, saying he won't go easy tonight. "Ya! Don't talk to my girlfriend again. That's a warning." "And what are you gonna do if I don't care about that warning?" You had enough and just took GD's hand and went to take a seat. You got seats in the front row, with the best view and as a great sign of how good today is gonna be right on the other side of your seats, there was Wang Chi Ang. You felt the tension int the air and you didn't want to look in Chi Ang's eyes. "Who is he? What did he do? Tell me everything." Jiyong has never made a big deal if a man approached you, but now, when he saw how you look at him, he was really worried and angry a bit. "He's my ex when I was in high school. His father is the CEO of the *company name*... I broke up with him... because... um... we can talk about that at home, okay? Just don't do anything he is just an idiot..." During the fashion show you admired the dresses and together you commented them and he was really happy, you agreed with his opinion in some dresses. The whole Fashion show he made sure you were holding his hand. He seemed to death worried. After the show, there was a V.I.P dinner for some special people and among them were you both. You drove to the restaurant in a limo with another couple, from the USA. You had to sit in a table you were assigned to. That just happened to be the same table as Wang Chi Ang's. That meant bad news. For both of you. You didn't have the nerves left to watch him and Jiyong was tense every time he saw him. "Just don't make a fuss, act normal, okay?" you whispered. Luckily there were 4 more people at the table so you thought everything will be alright. Dinner started with a special guest's speech. Jiyong kept his hand on your knees and you thought it was adorable. He was worrying for nothing. You had no other feelings towards Chi Ang than anger and hatred. You couldn't even think straight knowing what would happen if he started talking and said something that wasn't appropriate  Next to you was sitting Ariana Grande's designer and you really matched well. The whole dinner you mostly spoke with her and her husband who was also a designer. "I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll come back soon," you told Jiyong and went to the bathroom. You had to make an effort to find it. You went to the bathroom and fixed your makeup a bit. Someone entered the bathroom. You thought it was just another woman, but it wasn't. It was Wang Chi Ang. "What do you think, you are doing?" you turned towards him and stood confidently. "Aigo... You think I'll just let you go with an idol? And him? G-Dragon. You must be kidding. It's only for publicity, right?" "You should keep your mouth shut. I see you haven't changed a bit. You're still the same idiot as you were." The door opened again and it was not a woman. Again. It was a man. "So, you can go with me peacefully or... Well just go with me Y/N." You were always scared of that side of him. He looked and acted cute and innocent but he was really scary. You got scared when a man grabbed you and tried to pull you out of the room. Luckily Jiyong knew something was wrong and came just in time. He pushed the man off of you and punched Wang Chi Ang, but right behind him, there was a man taking a picture of what he just did. You went outside. He had a scratch on his head and you were shaking in front of the car.

[twelvesignsrp]

congratulations elaina, sagittarius is now imogen song with the faceclaim natasha liu bordizzo

APPLICATION

Character Sign: (Aries/Leo etc.) saggitarius Character name: imogen song Birthday: december 11, 1996 (born a little after 7:00am) Sexuality: pansexual Gender: cisfemale/genderfluid. was raised as and is generally assumed to be female, so she is used to being called she/her, but she’s not picky about pronouns. Moon Sign: sagittarius (ascendent is sagittarius too, ayo! super mega sagittarius!) Faceclaim: natasha liu bordizzo (fc is 22 years old, of chinese-italian heritage)

Power:

electromagnetic force manipulation

undeveloped powers as a child:

when very angry or panicked, imogen would unintentionally shake up or deaden small amounts of EM forces, which could cause a few things:

1. creating heat by overexciting molocules, which can cause things to burn, melt, catch fire, etc. on the other hand, she can slow down and deaden the movement of molecules, creating coldness. in theory, she could freeze things, but because this is more likely to happen when she’s surprised than with any other emotion and surprise wears off so quickly, it’s not as damaging as her heat generation.

2. shaking atoms apart and creating low levels of radioactivity. imogen was diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder as a teenager, when her not-infrequent bouts of anger caused her to become physically ill due to undiagnosed mild radiation sickness. they initially wanted to diagnose some form of pmdd, which infuriated imogen because these rages didn’t seem timed to her menstrual cycle in any way- she had to fight to get a realistic diagnosis and ever since then she doesn’t trust medical doctors and avoids them as much as possible. she’s seen a therapist regularly since the anxiety diagnosis, and she’s learned to control negative emotions to an extreme degree, to the point where she almost can’t feel them. this has made her a rather positive and optimistic person, for the most part, but it’s also made her incredibly reckless, believing bad things can’t happen to her. once she discovers this power and begins to develop it, she’s going to have a lot of unaddressed emotions to deal with.

after discovering her powers:

imogen must start learning to control her EM manipulation, which is incredibly difficult and exhausting. for a beginner, it requires intense, very precise concentration that is very hard to maintain intentionally for more than a few seconds.

furthermore, while electromagnetics have been used for certain therapies in a positive way (such as management of bipolar disorder and depression), it can also be incredibly dangerous to humans (causing everything from burns and sunburns to electric shock, damage to vision, or even cancer). using her own powers /always/ exposes imogen herself to the heat-generating, cold-generating, and/or radiation-generating properties of her power. this puts her at a risk for burns any time she uses her power, and puts her at a long-term risk for leukemia.

her powers are incredibly limited by her own knowledge and the information she has access to. for example, while she technically *could*, with enough practice, manipulate chemicals to create a new compound (turn water into wine, so to speak), she doesn’t know anything about chemistry, so she wouldn’t be able to use this skill. she might be able to use it if someone explained the exact chemistry to her, but even then there’s a lot of danger of her messing it up and causing a disaster (to continue with the water/wine metaphor, she could accidentally turn water into poison instead). an entire mission could fall apart because she needs to use EM manipulation to construct a metal tool out of available elements, and she manages to get the shape right, but accidentally builds it out of mercury instead of iron because she forgot the molecular structure.

imogen is not a science person. she’s good with money, she’s athletic, she’s socially smart, but she’s never cared much about science, so she simply does not know enough yet to master most of her power’s capabilities. she needs to do a lot of studying, but she’s starting from zero so it’s going to take a while to learn anything useful. because of the health risks involved, she can’t practice too much, even though this power requires a lot of practice to use. she’s also got to decide what exactly she’ll focus on- if she studies chemistry enough to get good at it, she might not have time to study human physiology, for example. she’s not super studious to begin with, so this is all going to be a big struggle for her, to the point where she may want to stop using her power entirely to avoid the frustration.

What do they study?

finance. she’s in her second year.

Biography:

once upon a time, imogen hated being called lucky. sure, she was born with a few advantages over the average london kid, but it wasn’t like anyone needed to make athing about it. she had money- so what? not even money, really. her father was an investor, you see. it wasn’t until college that imogen came to understand that “investor” is just a fancy word for “professional money have-er”, and that the money in question wasn’t real money, but it still gets counted when people ask you how much you’re worth.

as she got older, imogen grew to hate more things, from certain foods to certain movies to certain people. there was no rhyme or reason to it, either- one day, she’d be perfectly fine and happy and laughing; the next, she’d be a nervous wreck, snapping at every minor offence and disappearing into the bathroom with an upset stomach. surely it was just some pubescent phase, right?

that was the thinking when, after imogen started missing school over her worsening episodes, her parents took her to the doctor to try to find the cause. imogen was hopeful for relief- she certainly didn’t enjoy feeling like a real-life werewolf- but that hope quickly faded when her symptoms were written off as PMDD, maybe PCOS, let’s just take this prescription and see, just give it a try, stop arguing, the doctor’s very busy honey…

she took the pills. she hated the pills. she got sicker. she hated being sick. she got sicker. she hated everything. she got sicker. the pills made her gain weight, so the doctor said she could stop taking them.

maybe a therapist could help.

imogen’s therapist taught her to watch her thoughts drive by; to acknowledge them without judgement and without riding along with them. she taught imogen to let go of negativity and absorb positivity. imogen was a very good student.

she couldn’t be upset.

she couldn’t be angry.

she couldn’t be sad.

she couldn’t be hurt.

nothing could hurt her.

she was fucking bulletproof.

and any bulletproof girl is bound to want to test her armor, right?

Five interesting facts about your character:

imogen is naturally right-handed. her mother is left-handed. as a child, imogen forced herself to learn to do everything left-handed like her mother. she’s now technically ambidextrous.

imogen’s father lost a lot of money in a bad investment deal with imogen was in middle school. she’s studying finance because she doesn’t want to make the same mistake.

imogen has an older sister named wendy and a younger brother named lawrence. wendy is nearly ten years older than imogen, so the two have never been close. lawrence is only two years younger. he is very quiet and polite and just about as opposite imogen as one could be. imogen is closer to lawrence than to wendy, but still not that close.

imogen abandoned her virginity at sixteen when she and her then-boyfriend got stuck at the top of a ferris wheel. it was a fairly mediocre handjob, but very exciting nonetheless. to this day, her favorite kind of sex is when there’s a danger of getting caught.

imogen has two pet cats. she was supposed to only have them freshman year when her best friend went to study in the states and then give them back when he returned, but the friend fell in love, married his boyfriend, and never made any effort to collect the cats.

Character Quote: (Any quote, lyric or poem that you think really describes your character)

and I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organised drawers. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive, or awake, however you choose to see it, and I live in my own flames. Sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Run run run, far and wide until my bones ache and lungs split and it feels good.

– charlotte erikkson, ‘you’re doing just fine’

If your character had a patronus what would it be? and why?

she’d probably be her own patronus, haha.

if she can’t be her own, her patronus would probably be something legitimately scary and likely to charge at you, like a wild boar or a bull (and she thinks it’d be hilarious to unleash a bull patronus on taurus). her method for dealing with bad things is to bulldoze over them and get out the other side as quickly as possible.

WRITING SAMPLE

“why haven’t we made out before?” imogen absentmindedly picked at the clasp on her bracelet, flicking it open and shut with the edge of her already raggedy thumbnail. stretched out on the hood of her best friend’s car, parked in the middle of no-man’s-land, there wasn’t much else to focus on. it was too cloudy to look at the stars.

gael made a point of looking her up and down, before rejecting her with a click of his tongue and a shake of his head. “you’ve got too many boobs. how many times to i have to tell you? i’m a one-or-fewer kind of guy.”

“one or fewer~” she repeated in an exaggerated and truly terrible echo of his spanish accent. “so proper.”

“i’m not the one getting high-”

“hey now, you’re getting just as high as i am!”

“- in my fancy funeral dress. but you do you, gen. you do you.” he laughed.

imogen rolled her eyes. “whatever man. what do people normally do after funerals?”

gael glanced at her for a split second, unsure whether she wanted more stupid banter or an honest answer. “when grandma died, dad and my uncles went somewhere and got real drunk, so….”

imogen exhaled a cloud of smoke for emphasis, holding the joint out to gael. “so i could do worse, is what you’re saying?”

“sure.” he waved her hand away.

“it’s good she’s gone. she was miserable.”

“i know..”

“fuck cancer, man.”

“yeah.” he cleared his throat, and they were both quiet for a while.

“do you feel… are you okay, though?”

“i’m not going to freak out, don’t worry.”

“no, no- like… i mean, it’d be okay to freak out a little, right?”

she shrugs. “nah. won’t bring her back.”

“wouldn’t you feel a little better, though?”

“i feel fine, gael. i’m okay.”

ANYTHING ELSE?

hi! i just want to make sure you know that i (the mun) am not anti-therapy or anti-doctor and i don’t wish to send that sort of message to anyone. imogen, because of her specific life experiences, has issues with doctors and therapists. i think most doctors and therapists are generally good people who have the best of intentions, even when things don’t go well. imogen has a lot of very wrong opinions and beliefs that differ from my own; please don’t worry that i’m as insensitive as she is! i’m nice, i promise ^^

to build on that, i love playing a very humanized antagonist and having my character cause all kinds of problems for the people she interacts with. she’s a mess! mun, however, is pretty low-key and very drama-free, so don’t let imogen’s drama scare you off- it’s all ic. oh, and mun’s favorite color is green~

i look forward to plotting and writing with everyone!!!

[heneralmariano-blog]

My Ideal Girl

No, I didn’t get the picture from the internet. Why? Because I already met her. The ideal girl of my life. Let me describe her to you.

- She’s beautiful. She’s a ‘Chinita’. When she smiles, her eyes do the same and her cheeks become emphasized. It’s just a warm feeling.

- She’s kind. Unlike me, she doesn’t swear and insult others. She doesn’t criticize. She doesn’t know how to answer back to offensive words. 

- She’s caring for others. May it be her friends, family, or me.

- She handles kids well (No, we don’t have kids. I’m referring to her niece and my little sister.)

- She’s full of effort. She wouldn’t let a simple occasion happen without her giving a gift or at least a letter to me. 

- She’s smart. There was this one time (who am I kidding, the whole 10th grade), I was envious of how well-performing she was in class. She’ll always outsmart me back in those days. I get frustrated and mad at her for no other reason than just me not understanding the lesson as well as she does.

- She’s wonderful. She inspired me to be a better person. Not better than her, but better than myself. Because of her, I realized I was bigger than who I thought I could be.

- She’s loyal. She tells me everything that happens to her. Tells me how her day went, who she talked to, and if she did something that would upset me.

- She likes to travel. She’s the reason why I learned to appreciate the beauty of the places. But what she don’t understand is, there’s no other place I’d rather be, than her arms.

- She’s not perfect. And this is what made her perfect for me. She’s beautiful in her mistakes. Her mistakes are as innocent as a child’s. Her mistakes are always justified and the result of her best judgment. 

- She’s supportive. She always believes in me in whatever I do or what I plan to do. Heck, she’s more supportive than my father. (No offense, dad.)

- She’s ambitious. She’s a business-minded person. She sees opportunities and takes them. She may be just a beginner, resulting to her shyness, but I’ll always be there for her. She thinks about her future, ours as well.

- She’s simple. In fact, this is her characteristic that caught my attention the first time I saw her. On that day, she was just sitting quietly in the room. She’s not this loud-mouthed person, but she’s not a weirdo either. She enjoys small companies and prefers to have true friends than many friends.

- The way she dresses. She doesn’t wear fitted, backless, sleeveless and low-neckline shirts or dresses. She doesn’t wear short shorts as well. She’s so beautiful in her own simple way and her not being aware of that just adds to her beauty.

- Stays away from boys. She knows what a boy can think of and she’s aware of the intentions of boys who talk to her. She knows that I’m a little (*insert sarcasm here*) jealous so when someone talks to her, she refuses to entertain them if it’s not important and immediately tells me about it.

- She’s emotional. We’ve been together for almost 4 years now and she still cries over small arguments and fights. And sometimes, even if I’m so angry at her, I just couldn’t bear the thought of her crying. So amidst the raging fire coming out of my mouth, I always end up saying “Sorry na.” and when I do, she cries some more. This makes me feel like the way she loved me 4 years ago is still the same, perhaps more.

- She’s not rich. This is what got me to fall for her. She gets contented and happy about the little things. She appreciates even just the smallest effort I give to her. This is the kind of girl I’m looking for. I don’t have much to give either but she always makes me feel like my presence is more than enough.

- She’s patient. Her situation in life may not be the ideal life of an average person. She’s not rich and doesn’t have much but she still persists and can smile wider than I can.

- She’s jealous. I don’t complain. I just tell her “Sabi ko naman sayo kung magbo-boyfriend ka ng gwapo, humanda ka. (I told you before, if you will have a handsome boyfriend, best be ready.)”. Whenever someone talks to me and she sees her beautiful, she’ll get jealous and insecure so I end up explaining to her how she’s the best woman in the world.

- We’re opposite. There are a lot of things about us that are not the same and this resulted in us growing together and exploring new things we learned from each other.

My ideal girl? What’s the point of having one when you already got her?