#my shit movie reviews
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Rewatched Princess and the Frog today and honestly it feels more like a celebration of Disney's 100 years than Wish. A classic fairy tale respun in interesting ways while still being undeniably Disney? Check. A traditional story with modern twists and a (narratively) strong female protagonist? Check. A return to 2D animation in a time when the medium was dying out? Check. Hell, it even takes place in the same time period (1920s) that Walt Disney released the first animated feature film and started a hundred years of magic. There are multiple references to older Disney movies, from classics like Pinocchio and Sword in the Stone to (then) recent films like Aladdin and The Little Mermaid. It features the fucking wishing star! In a more narratively sound manner than Disney's actual 100th year celebration!
And even beyond that, Princess and the Frog feels like it pays tribute to the magic of magic - the power of believing in stories, of having a dream, of working hard to reach your happy ending while never losing sight of what's really important. There is so much effort put into this movie and it shows: the animation is gorgeous, the story is creative and structurally sound, and behind the scenes reveals that the producers put their backs into making sure both the African American aspect and the New Orleans cultural aspect were accurately depicted. It was the first Disney movie in over a decade to return to the Broadway musical format, and they literally had to dust off the abandoned 2D art tools because the company hadn't used them since 2004.
Princess and the Frog was a labor of love through and through, a heartfelt tip of the hat to Disney's legacy while still being its own story. I don't know what could be more celebratory of Walt Disney's dream than that.
#i admittedly haven't seen wish yet so i feel a little hypocritical complaining about it#but i have Not been hearing good things about it and i trust the youtubers on this one#years of cross referencing other people's reviews with my own thoughts has taught me how to sense#when the masses are right and when they're talking shit#and when it comes to wish i think it really is just a corporate-controlled mehburger :/#anyway please rewatch princess and the frog it is SOOOOOO GOOD#i really couldn't ask for a more perfect movie#might make another post talking about it because it needs way more appreciation that it gets#it's the movie that killed disney's 2d animation era#but it was so worth it just for the movie to exist#princess and the frog#wish 2023#analysis#sage speaketh
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what she says: i'm fine
what she meant: i don't know why puss in boots the last wish is so good but it just is. the character development, the music, the animation--holy fuck THE ANIMATION. and also the freaking themes of mortality and death and found family choke me up so much. the moment puss literally saw life flashing before his eyes and getting into a panic attack and how perrito calmed him down teared me up. and the found family themes with goldi and the bears to puss, kitty, and perrito. i really want to watch this more often it is just a masterpiece of a movie and i am so torn up about it.
#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots spoilers#puss in boots 2#house talks shit#my review#kind of#i'm in an emotional wreck because of this freaking movie#please i beg of you watch it!!
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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okkkk i watched the first episode of hazbin hotel and i think it has a lot of missed potential. there are actually quite a few goods - the animation for the most part is nice, the voice acting is great (especially keith david as the cat thing), and the songs are alright. the show brings up interesting concepts but the main problem is that it doesn't really execute them in an interesting way, mainly due to the way the characters are written.
every character - with the exception of alastor, charlie and nifty - has a generally "vulgar" personality, ranging from that being a primary trait to basically the entire character (based on the 1st episode alone). they're all written in a similar way, which means that character interactions are very basic funnyman/straightman endeavors with little variation - angel dust says something dumb and vaggie chatises him, or angel dust says something sexual and husk chatises him. that formula basically extends to most if not all of their interactions so far, so the dynamics between characters are similar and frankly uninteresting. angel dust especially (i really don't like him sorry) is so far just a vessel for sexual jokes, and we don't really get anything from his character other than "he's horny", which isn't really good for your first episode imo. the language the characters use is also similar so there's little humorous contrast. there aren't really "jokes" with setup and payoff - just characters saying and doing out of pocket things.
the worst example of this is with the angels, particularly adam. i think that the angel with him (lute i think?) would actually serve his purpose in the story better based on her character - somewhat regal, orderly, but most importantly uses a completely different language to the devils. this sort of contrast would've been way more interesting imo - have the angels be holier-than-thou (quite literally), talk charlie down, make her feel less than or even like a "sinner" - which would be cool because as far as i can tell charlie tries her best to be as good as possible! that would be a unique way to bring out her angry side but instead adam just acts like any other devil, even worse than them, and maybe that's on purpose but i don't think it's very cool...... it would be fun to play off the watcher's preconceived notions and ideas on angels and devils after establishing how charlie deviates from the norm, maybe even having the angels be like "wow you lashing out proves devils are all evil", but now i'm rambling...
other than that, i think the story introduces its main plot points too early. give the concept some time to breathe and establish itself before dropping the bombshell that the extermination is to be 6 months early, damn,,, but i'd have to watch every episode to give an opinion on how they handle that, which i likely won't do. i have some small nitpicks, like the weird lack of buildup to most songs and the kind of weird pacing, but in short, based on the first episode, it's just a compilation of missed opportunities and edgy swear-humor offset by some genuinely interesting and good ideas. this isn't a review of the entire series, by the way - just a "initial thoughts" thing. if you really are interested in the concept, i'd say give it a chance, but please be aware of the creator's actions before you support it monetarily. (i watched the first episode through other means as i genuinely dislike the creator due to her bigotry, of which others have described more eloquently than me - it's very easy to find "call-outs" and critiques of her actions). 4/10, where is verblase :/
#zeno's movie diary#(technically......? idk its a review)#long post#ALSO if i was a random prime user who had never heard of hazbin i'd be so fucking confused by this episode#the pilot is essentially an episode 0 and required viewing but this is never really established#there's hardly even a sort of re-introduction for long time viewers#ok thats my LAST NITPICK#there done get yhis shit out of my face now
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Odie transforms into big daddy vibes?? wtf?? no i will not give context for this look through my posts if u rly wanna know i rly wanted to share this clip of a movie i found.
#garfield fanart#garfield#garfposting#garfield the cat#jon arbuckle#garfield comic#odie leigh#odie#odie the dog#garfield and odie#mama odie#lyman#comic#movie clip#cinema#film#movie#favorite movies#movie review#moviegifs#movies#anime gif#gifset#gif#my gifs#anime moments#out of context shit#out of context comments#out of context quotes#out of context discord
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big godzilla fan but i will never in my life interact with the fandom based on what i've seen on here
#firstly i hate all godzilla ships even mothra/godzilla#just because she's queen of the monsters and he's king of the monsters doesn't mean shit#second i hate those comics that portray the characters as silly and stuff#i especially hate how minus one is always portrayed as a baby because he isn't massive in his first appearance#or giving godzilla earth glasses or making him the 'group' grandpa#or just anything that gives them dialog really#i generally just hate blorbofication#third i absolutely hate king kong and i feel like legendary has really been pushing godzilla and kong being two sides of the same coin#and like generally the only actually good legendary godzilla movie is king of the monsters 2019#2014 is boring because it's carried by an unlikable and boring cast#godzilla vs kong was just pretty alright#and godzilla x kong was a scaling nightmare with forgettable monsters thrown in as well#and they both fought sea serpents#and godzilla's was still more interesting!!#i have my gripes but i'll save them for when i review them#what am i taking about again
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kung fu panda four my beloved, they could never make me hate you
#i have no idea what’s everyone’s beef with this movie but i’ve always been a HUGE kp fan (the second movie is my religion)#and given the majority of comments/reviews i read online before watching the movie i entered the cinema expecting the devil incarnate and…#it turned out to be a good movie????? and a really good one i dare to say??????#and yes it’s not on the same level of the first two (and tbh who would ever expect that) but holy sHIT#some of you painted it as the worst movie ever and like. it is not???#i even found the fox girl enjoyable despite having my doubts at first#and i could go into heavy detail but it’s late and that’s not important#i’m just happy we had a good sequel..bye!!#kung fu panda#kung fu panda 4
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i've watched the get low scene a stupid amount of times but it's just too good. like... alex being an absolute dreamboat dancing on the other side of the floor while henry sneaks peeks at him and awkwardly tries to bop along?? and of course the way alex looks at him when everyone drops low and henry gets all shy and blushy? aforementioned genuinely sweet/serious moment happening as lil jon screams about shaking ass which is also the funniest thing ever? matthew lopez did suchhh a great job capturing the heady feeling of a crush damn
ETA apparently kyle hanagami the LEGEND choreographer was behind this so no wonder it was so damn smooth, thank you king
#rwrb#red white and royal blue#LITERALLY A WHOLE STAR RIGHT THERE THAT ONE LETTERBOXD REVIEW WASNT KIDDING.#the viewer could feel exactly what henry was feeling and that’s how you know it’s effective#like yes there were a lot of things in the movie i wished had been different but i loved this#the only thing that could have made it better is 'SHUT YOUR DUMB FACE THIS IS MY SHIT'#anyway i promise i will shut up about everything eventually but i'm still living here.
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The substance is actually the craziest and best horror movie I think I've ever seen. The practical effects were absolutely fucking bonkers and blew me out of the water. The body horror was so grotesque that there were moments I had to stand up because i was so out of my mind. The constant push and pull between Elisabeth and Sue, the theme of trying to escape yourself, and the mother-daughter mirrors were absolute fucking bonker additions. Even the ending made me so fucking depressed but it was absolutely beautiful with how it called back to Carrie where yeah, Elisasue is ruined from the experience with no hope of going back, but at least she thoroughly traumatized the people who made her into the monster she became.
#Actually started tearing up in da club when she was crying out “I'm still me!! Its still me!!” chat I was ready to end it#this is my letterbox review thank u for coming to my tedtalk#.txt#like just as a horror junkie that movie HIT DIFFERENT#IDK WTF THEYRE PUTTING THE SEINE THAT THE FRENCH CAN PUT OUT HORROR BANGERS LIKE THIS ALWAYS#BUT THEYRE ON SOME DIFFERENT SHIT#the substance
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For the humbly uninformed masses I should clarify! I don’t dislike BATB 2017 because LeFou is gay (even if in that handwavey “only kind of gay for a few seconds so it’s easy to cut out in international releases of the movie” way). I dislike it because it’s genuinely not a good movie. Hope that makes sense! 👍
#꒰💬꒱ ❝ Dear Diary… ❞#I assure you I don’t think it sucks bootycheeks because I like erasing gay representation#(even if done with breadcrumbs)#it sucks because the writing is shit from a butt and it seems to just. forget what made the original movie work#I could go on but 1.) I haven’t seen the movie in full in a while (apart from microdosing reviews) and 2.) I don’t wanna rant TOO long#that’s another post for another day LOL#if you like it that’s fine I just try my best to ignore its existence
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journaling is so awesome you guys you should try it
#started two different journals in january!!#one is more focused on movies etc and has all my cinema stubs and such and lil reviews on all the movies i watched#and little drawings too#and the other one is more personal and life related and !!! it's great :-)#mine aren't like aesthetically pleasing or something bc my handwriting is ugly as shit#but even with my barely readable chicken scratch it's such a lovely thing to do
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i cannot count the amount of times ive pretended to watch a movie or a series or whatever just to have some connection with a customer at work. im a professional liar
#one customer gave me her email address which was a reference to the silmarillion and i was like oh haha i know that#besties im gonna be honest with you i havent even finished the lord of the rings movies. but she seemed so happy someone got the reference#i love lying!!!!! i love making people smile. i love when people dont suspect im a basement dwelling piece of shit with media taste#so niche its been an active source of jokes for years of my life. even though it isnt even niche#trust me i know what a start trek is. can you leave me a good google review
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you ever notice how many similarities there are between jinx and jason todd:
- orphaned + raised in infamously fucked up city
- underlying violence/anger at young age, never properly redirected by guardian
- bomb trauma + imagery
- involved in gangs/drug-dealing
- bazooka moment
- “came back wrong” trope, revived by mysterious neon liquid (shimmer/lazarus pit)
- forgives initial betrayal (abandoning jinx/not saving jason), but is truly betrayed by the aftermath (befriending an enforcer/letting the joker live)
- final act family reunion made into a performance with unwilling audience (caitlyn/joker kidnapped + bound + held at gunpoint)
- feels replaced by family (caitlyn, tim)
- forces family to make symbolic choice: “it’s them or me”
- when family is unable to choose, reunion ends in an explosion
DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN god hold on this needs to be rb’d with a side-by-side comparison
#dc#jason todd#batman#under the red hood#jinx#arcane#danbles#i’m almost exclusively working with utrh jason (with the exception of that tim detail)#such a good movie it’s ranked even higher than fpp on my review list#like fpp is MY special personal movie but holy shit#utrh left me reeling in a similar way#if i had for jason what i have for barry i bet it would be even higher#(fpp is 8/10 and utrh is 8.5/10 just to compare)
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watched the power of the dog and now I am Thinking
#reminds me of stoker in a way?? if u get what I’m saying#saw a bunch of reviews saying it was too slow/overrated#but it wasn’t bad imo but I also appreciate the movies that don’t try to force ur opinion in a certain direction#leaves u room to Think and I find that equally as interesting as like a straight up beginning middle end narriative#text#anyway I need 2 watch more movies I’ve literally been binge watching house md since the middle of february lmao#feel free to recxomend me anything I was checking my letterboxd and all my to watch list is shit idc about anymore lol
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Stuff I Watched in 2024 – Orion and the Dark (Movie):
What is it?
Orion and the Dark is DreamWorks trying as hard as humanly possible to make their own Inside Out. It's directed by a guy who worked in the art department on a bunch of the Troll movies and is about a boy with an anxiety disorder befriending the personification of the dark.
Things of Note:
Oh shit is that the voice of Luca? They really do want to be Pixar.
And it was written by the guy who wrote... Being John Malkovich!?
Based on a children's book with the same name by Emma Yarlett. Haven't read it because it's for literal babies but what little is up for free looks pretty cute.
Into the Spiderverse really ruined most traditional CG animation for me. The movie looks good but it just can't hold a candle to some of the more stylized stuff that's come out recently. Also, some of the humans look a bit off.
The movie introduces a weird framing device towards the middle that threatens to be pointless and dumb but more than justifies itself by the end.
God damn, Dark. Your friends kind of suck.
I found the third act fight (the kind you see in every movie like this) forced and dumb but everything else about Night and Orion's friendship was well handled.
The movie makes a lot of effort to go in a different direction than you might be expecting early on. I appreciated that.
VERY solid ending that has a lot of fun with it's premise.
Final Verdict:
Fun and surprisingly heartfelt. Not perfect by any means but ~leagues~ better than a direct to Netflix Pixar clone has any right to be. It should have at least gotten a theatrical release IMO.
On the other hand the main character is named Orion and at no point did his belt become important. 0/10 stars.
Stuff I've watched so far:
Orion and the Dark (Surprisingly good. 0/10 stars).
Day Job (Very Australian)
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I don't have a Patreon but do accept tips in the form of small hits of dopamine (like/reblog/follow). Also meth if you've got any.
#Stuff I watched in 2024#Orion and the Dark#Reviews#movie review#CG animation#Dreamworks#netflix#Completely lost my shit at how Sleep puts people under. Fantastic stuff.#Didn't plan on posting 2 of these so close to each other but I wanted to get my thoughts down while they were still fresh.
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Never seen the nightmare on elm street movies and have watched the majority of friday the 13th movies (still debating on seeing jason x and the remake) and gotta say Freddy vs jason is so damn entertaining to watch. I don't know shit bout the stuff that happens in the other freddy movies other than the videos i see people discuss bout it but the characters in the movie lay out a lot of the plot points that helped me get the general gist of things. Dunno if that acting is just how it is in the other Freddy movies, but I had fun watching it.
#the cryptid talks#also just watched jason goes to hell today too#oh 80s movies youre so funnily bad but good#i could never be a serious movie reviewer im too easily entertained and not taking things serious#the practical effects team went off on some of those scenes like the dude fucking melting after jason left his body#and the thing that killed me the most is when people get fucking hurled like a ragdoll across the room#when jason hurled that 2nd to last chick in f vs j and she went flying across the woods#i couldnt help but die of laughter that shit was so funny#same with that one scene in The Thing when the alien's eating the guy but its obvious its an ragdoll#but seeing it fling back n forth was so funny oh my godd me n my sister were of laughter#im not an avid watcher of horror movies in general but i feel like i could handle 80s to 90s type of stuff#like rewatching the old It movie that stemmed my fear of clowns#but seeing it again im just like wow this shit is so lame and not scary why was i so scared of this before
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