#(technically......? idk its a review)
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Aaron has just pulled his shirt over his head when he hears the stairs creak. He freezes, the shirt still stuck around his arms as something like apprehension burns its way through his body. He’s only still for a moment before he throws the shirt all the way off, chucking it blindly behind him. Whoever is climbing the stairs is doing so at a snail’s pace, but not carefully enough to avoid all the squeaky steps.
Aaron forgoes grabbing the snow globe on his desk to use as a weapon and crosses over to his bedroom door to jerk it open.
At the top of the stairs stands Kevin Day, somehow a bright spot in the completely dark hallway. He flashes a smile at Aaron that shows all his teeth, then slides his feet over the carpet in big strides to reach him.
“Hey,” Kevin says as he closes the door. He leans back against it and Aaron stares at Kevin’s goofy expression. He used to be more subdued—better at giving away his feelings with just the quirk of his mouth rather than the full motion of his cheeks. Now, Kevin looks far too happy to see him.
“Were you even trying to sneak up?” Aaron says, partly to distract Kevin and to redirect his thoughts to safer grounds.
It works. Kevin squints at him. “I was. I did,” he tells him, gesturing to himself, here, in Aaron’s room, a little triumphantly. “I was careful.”
“Sure…”
Kevin huffs at the suspicion on Aaron’s face and ignores it to rake his eyes over his torso. He looks more serious doing this, like mapping the constellation of freckles on Aaron’s body is very important business. Aaron flushes all over, hot everywhere he thinks Kevin’s eyes land. He is suddenly very aware that he’s without a shirt.
Kevin presses the pad of his thumb on Aaron’s hip and curls his fingers around him.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Aaron announces, barely concealing the shiver that wracks through him.
Kevin glances his thumb over Aaron’s stomach and says, “Alone?”
Aaron gives him a deeply unimpressed look. Kevin must know it because he breathes a laugh before he even looks up to see it. “I thought you were worried about waking up the house,” Aaron says.
He takes a take back when Kevin takes a step forward to lean off the door. He keeps his eyes level with Aaron’s as he takes off his own shirt and discards it. “You’ll just have to be quiet, then, won’t you?”
They both know Aaron is not the one they need to monitor.
#kevaaron#but like don’t look too closely OK#this one i am self conscious about LOL#its the middle of the night tho so I don’t mind posting it#good reviews from friends so I am happy#this technically qualifies as a shower thought#aftg#all for the game#aaron minyard#kevin day#tae drabbles#tae drabble#tae writes#idk why i have 3 tags sobs
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okkkk i watched the first episode of hazbin hotel and i think it has a lot of missed potential. there are actually quite a few goods - the animation for the most part is nice, the voice acting is great (especially keith david as the cat thing), and the songs are alright. the show brings up interesting concepts but the main problem is that it doesn't really execute them in an interesting way, mainly due to the way the characters are written.
every character - with the exception of alastor, charlie and nifty - has a generally "vulgar" personality, ranging from that being a primary trait to basically the entire character (based on the 1st episode alone). they're all written in a similar way, which means that character interactions are very basic funnyman/straightman endeavors with little variation - angel dust says something dumb and vaggie chatises him, or angel dust says something sexual and husk chatises him. that formula basically extends to most if not all of their interactions so far, so the dynamics between characters are similar and frankly uninteresting. angel dust especially (i really don't like him sorry) is so far just a vessel for sexual jokes, and we don't really get anything from his character other than "he's horny", which isn't really good for your first episode imo. the language the characters use is also similar so there's little humorous contrast. there aren't really "jokes" with setup and payoff - just characters saying and doing out of pocket things.
the worst example of this is with the angels, particularly adam. i think that the angel with him (lute i think?) would actually serve his purpose in the story better based on her character - somewhat regal, orderly, but most importantly uses a completely different language to the devils. this sort of contrast would've been way more interesting imo - have the angels be holier-than-thou (quite literally), talk charlie down, make her feel less than or even like a "sinner" - which would be cool because as far as i can tell charlie tries her best to be as good as possible! that would be a unique way to bring out her angry side but instead adam just acts like any other devil, even worse than them, and maybe that's on purpose but i don't think it's very cool...... it would be fun to play off the watcher's preconceived notions and ideas on angels and devils after establishing how charlie deviates from the norm, maybe even having the angels be like "wow you lashing out proves devils are all evil", but now i'm rambling...
other than that, i think the story introduces its main plot points too early. give the concept some time to breathe and establish itself before dropping the bombshell that the extermination is to be 6 months early, damn,,, but i'd have to watch every episode to give an opinion on how they handle that, which i likely won't do. i have some small nitpicks, like the weird lack of buildup to most songs and the kind of weird pacing, but in short, based on the first episode, it's just a compilation of missed opportunities and edgy swear-humor offset by some genuinely interesting and good ideas. this isn't a review of the entire series, by the way - just a "initial thoughts" thing. if you really are interested in the concept, i'd say give it a chance, but please be aware of the creator's actions before you support it monetarily. (i watched the first episode through other means as i genuinely dislike the creator due to her bigotry, of which others have described more eloquently than me - it's very easy to find "call-outs" and critiques of her actions). 4/10, where is verblase :/
#zeno's movie diary#(technically......? idk its a review)#long post#ALSO if i was a random prime user who had never heard of hazbin i'd be so fucking confused by this episode#the pilot is essentially an episode 0 and required viewing but this is never really established#there's hardly even a sort of re-introduction for long time viewers#ok thats my LAST NITPICK#there done get yhis shit out of my face now
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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I'd just like to notify you all that I've updated my "Rules" page for this blog. Mainly, this is because I get asked every now and then if I have requests open, and I'd just like to formally say here that they're open forever and always. I don't always get around to them straight away, but I always keep your request asks at least until I put the bare bones for the review into my drafts. I also updated my actual ask page to reflect this fact. I also made some edits to the "Submissions" section to hopefully make it a little clearer. Basically, I'll take care of most of the "technical" work for any reviews you submit (links, tags, etc), I just need the card art, card name, your review, and your rating.
#Not a review#I call it the rules page because idk what else to call it honestly#Its not meant to sound scary lol#Technically I updated a lot of the submissions part a few months ago I just forgot to mention it
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I have chem Final tmr. Im scared actually
#made me realize I don’t like chem with all that review I did.#and the next day I have a math exam I COULDNT STUDY IT CUZ IM TOO SCARED FOR CHEM I CANT SCREW THIS SHIT UP#SO AFTER I HAVE TO STUDY A HELL LOT OF MATH TOO MY BRAIN ACTUALLY FEELING ALL WEIRD AND MELTING LIKE ITS BECOMING ICE LIQUID#Wednesday is my only free week 😔#and then prom next weekkkkkk yeyeyey#I need to do good I need to save that stupid 76 on that one test that happened like three months ago#Yk when you get a bad grade or one that you wish you did better on and teachers and social workers and everyone is like you’ll get over it’s#just one sill test NO NO NONONON YOU DONT UNDERSTAND NOW I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING IN POWER TO MAKE SURE IT REALLY DIDNT MATTER#I’m just very paranoid my college will decline my acceptance of my chem grade goes down and my French average is always the bad one I mean#chem isn’t technically bad it’s actually above average but ig not my average I’m just scared dudeeeee idk sorry really dumb rant I need sle
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sighh
#why does presale have to be so stressful#i dont have mandatory class on tuesday which is technically nice#but i realized its a review session for our exam on friday so i REALLY dont want to miss it#sighh#ramblings#idk what to do
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wait steven universe came out in 2013...? why do i remember it coming out in like. 2015/16??
#ig bc thats when i actually started watching it...? ig it makes sense#since i watched multiple episode at that time lol#also apparently im in the minority for thinking season 1 was good actually#it may be a bit slow and the filler eps kinda suck but otherwise idk i think its a good build up to the next season#which i also liked#basically everything up until the whole... pink diamond shit.#also the filler episodes that are bad are usually the one w the conspiracy theorist guy lol.....#and also also ig i wouldnt have minded the pink diamond shit if they didnt make such a point of like. making her a brat basically#rose has like this. wise 'been there done that' motherly type attitude and pink diamonds just... a fuckin brat#and from the reviews im watching it sounds like they really really leaned into that more later on#which sucks so much lmao#pink diamond is so unironically unlikeable and shatters my whole perception of steven and rose as grounded characters#also im sorry but pearl... really really sucks lmao.#maybe she gets better later on but... considering the fact things seemed to have gotten worse and even some of the characters have gotten#worse or havent even changed in spite of apparently going through character arcs that suggest they did change...#kinda doubt she gets any better lmao.#im sorry i just have no respect for her.#worst intro to lesbian rep for any character on god.#on a kids show. hopefully she didnt end up making kids think lesbians are all like that hjbashjvsd#theres a lot of shit shes done that i see as pretty fuckin unforgivable but one of the most frustrating things is how shes technically an#adult and putting alllll this stress and responsibility on steven to help her work through her issues with rose.#instead of. idk. essentially seeing rose as dead. she decides to almost inadvertantly blame stevens existence for why shes gone.#and while thats technically kinda true- she should've been able to recognize that idk. hes not fuckin rose. hes an entirely different#person. and the whole 'i wonder if she can see me through your eyes' shit. like dawg....#hes basically your adopted son and it feels like your simping for something inside of him that as far as you should be concerned doesnt#exist.#fucking creepy is what it is.#anyways it prolly woulda been easier for her to accept the idea that rose is dead or for gems 'shattered' and gone with that narrative#than to assume rose is somehow omnipresent through steven watching her#which again! is kinda technically true- but... also not really. and she doesnt know if thats even true. so its weird.
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chapter 154 thoughts
Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 11
Aqua Hoshigan Status: (Still) white
man
This is one of those chapters where, technically speaking, I should probably be tearing it to bits (AND I DEFINITELY WILL) - it represents a pretty substantial break in or retcon to the series continuity as it's been presented to us thus far and the actions of certain characters in the lead up to this event don't quite make sense if they've had access to some of the information that's seemingly been in their hands for a while but… would you guys forgive me if I said I didn't really care LOL. As I've said before, I'm the sort of reader who can excuse a lot of raw Plot Bullshit so long as I feel like the hearts of the characters are intact and for all its fumbles, this is a chapter I think is unerringly dedicated to the hearts of its characters. I've made no secret of the fact that Ai is and always has been my main avenue of investment in Oshi no Ko as a series and in this chapter, we uncover the final secret in her heart in particular after having the entire series thus far dedicated to laying it bare to us.
We pick up exactly where we left off last chapter with the reveal that the HKAI breakup was indeed founded on Ai's pregnancy, as a lot of us had predicted.
This, uh, does not quite line up with previous events!
From what we'd previously been told, in terms of placement in the timeline, the death of Airi and her husband happened after the twins were born and sometime in the leadup to the Dome concert, which would put it in the ballpark of Ai's 18th to 20th birthday depending on how long it was in the works for. But based on how this flashback section is structured, it seems to place their deaths before Ai even knew she was pregnant, let alone giving birth. If it was just clashing with 15YL's retelling then I could dismiss that as an element of the movie's fictionalization that we've seen and Kamiki alludes to but this also clashes with where this event was placed temporally by Ichigo, when remembering a real life event. So… What gives!!!!
Like, at the end of the day, the exact placement of Uehara's death only matters inasmuch as it needs to be before Ai gets her new apartment, since the point Ichigo is really making is that Aqua is pinning his hopes on a dead man who was dead before he could have ever contributed to Ai's murder. But placing it that far back in the timeline - before the twins were even born! - just makes Aqua's willful ignorance in relation to it come off as a lot sillier and more difficult to swallow than if it happened closer to Ai's actual date of death.
I'm also a little disappointed that we really quickly breeze past Ai revealing she's pregnant - it's not the point of the scene overall and it would be weird to go really deep into her POV in the middle of a Kamiki flashback but one of my big issues with the Movie Arc was that it ripped past anything and everything to do with Ai's pregnancy, including how she herself felt about being pregnant. Like I said in my 145 review, skipping over the parts of it we've seen makes sense but I think there's still a bunch of really fascinating potential in exploring how Ai felt when she realized she was pregnant - how did she hide it for long enough that she was almost halfway through her pregnancy and getting fucking enormous before her first checkup? How did Ichigo and Miyako react when they first got the news? There's so much juicy character and relationship work you could mine out of that but the story fails to do so. We sort of get a crumb of this in the DVD but her feelings there are all centered on the pregnancy in relation to Hikaru and even then she breezes past it so fast it's clearly not meant to be the focus of any of what she's saying and idk. For a character whose entire hook is her struggles with motherhood, familial love and all the rest of it, that's a little disappointing.
THAT SAID!!! All that makes me sound like I didn't like what went on with Ai this chapter but I actually loved it. It's so painfully in line with everything we've been told and shown about her thus far in the manga and in this chapter, we see all her strengths, weaknesses and human contradictions laid bare in a way I find incredibly rewarding and compelling.
The HKAI breakup especially is just soooooo deliciously cringe inducing. It's an echo of the argument with Nino that 15YL portrays, where Ai's good intentions, avoidant tendencies and absolute absence of tact all snowball and end up ruining one of her most important relationships. Like… I can't believe I'm about to say this about a conversation in which Ai is one of the people talking, but she really is the reasonable one here! She's right to identify that their relationship is not working, that adding babies and marriage to the mix will only make things worse - her intentions, as they always are, are good and she's making her decisions with Kamiki in mind… her delivery is just absolutely dogshit!!! GIRL, PLEASE, YOUR WORDS!!!! USE YOUR WORDS!!!!!
For all my issues with Akasaka's writing lately, I think he portrays these kinds of two sided failures of communication so well, where you can see exactly where both characters are coming from and why they are failing to get their feelings across to each other. From an outsider's POV it's clear as day that Ai views herself and her children as the burden, one she doesn't want to put on Kamiki for the sake of a girl who doesn't even know if she can love him… but is it any wonder why Kamiki took it the way he did and why his guts were so utterly wrenched out as a result?
Kamiki's attempted proposal and Ai's immediate rejection of it are really interesting with the context of 45510 in particular. Extrapolating from her talk of marriage there, she brushed him off so quickly because she simply didn't believe he was serious… and yeah, he's pretty clearly not fully cognizant of the weight of what he's trying to propose, never mind that he's meeting "let's break up" with "LET'S GET MARRIED" lol.
Also interesting to extrapolate from both 45510 and other material surrounding Ai is that, at that point in her life, she simply didn't understand what the point of marriage was. On top of her being Literally Sixteen And A Child right now, Ai is said to have come from a deeply dysfunctional home where her mother engaged in a number of equally dysfunctional relationships, at least one of whom was with a man who was creeping on Ai even as he was working up to marry her mom. It's no wonder she doesn't really take the idea of marriage seriously, but it still hurts so see her reject Kamiki so bluntly - even more bluntly in the Japanese text somehow, simply chirping 無理! (Muri!) in response, i.e, not just "no way" but telling Kamiki to his face it's impossible.
Honestly this whole breakup scene is so darkly hilarious just in terms of how bad Ai is completely beefing it. Congrats babygirl that's the worst anyone's ever done it!!!
And we finally get the "I can't love you" drop after just shy of 25 chapters of buildup…….. And honestly, it feels a little hollow.
I talked about this a little before so forgive me for repeating myself but that line - or rather, Aqua and Ruby's implied misunderstanding of it - from Ai to Hikaru was given a huge amount of weight in the story when it was first introduced. It was implied to be the lynchpin in which everything else about the HKAI romance rested only for the story to go UH WELL ACTUALLY IT'S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT AI FORGIVES HER KILLER which is like… fine, it just feels very jarring on a reread or when trying to sew together a plot thread like this. It especially feels strange because the emphasis is placed on them not getting it right or at least that Gotanda disagrees with their interpretation, only for the manga to whip back around and not only return this line to its previous heightened importantance but also to largely not line up with what was established about this line and its place in the narrative when it was first introduced. It's just more evidence that Akasaka's plans for the Movie Arc and its resolution changed in some way during serialisation because these inconsistencies are pretty glaring.
Not just that, but like… it's hard to feel impacted by this line when we didn't even see it in the Movie Arc. In general, it's so fucking weird that so much about the main emotional resolutions going on right now revolve around Ruby's performance in the movie when most of the big emotional moments people are reacting to are happening entirely offscreen. This would already be bad even if it wasn't taking place in a manga like OnK with its increasingly frustrating habit of offscreening more and more bits of the story that are extremely important for the characters. Before this chapter I would've said that maybe we'd see some of it after the movie released but given that Kamiki's arc and the revenge play as a whole is pretty clearly wrapping here, what would even be the point of it?
Idk. It's just increasingly obvious (and just as frustrating) to me just how much of the Movie Arc was wasted time and how much of the setup that needed to happen to make what follows really land just… didn't. This chapter's resolution for Ai and Hikaru, both separately and as a couple, is still excellent, but it could have been a lot better if its foundations weren't so meager.
We also finally get concrete proof from the horse's mouth that Kamiki was the one who deliberately leaked Ai's address and……. honestly this is kind of a wet fart too lol. OnK has previously very strongly implied that "Kamiki is Ai's killer" was a red herring or that we should at least be slightly skeptical of Aqua's assertions and conclusions but… nope, he was right all along, I guess?? Alright………………………… I certainly don't believe his insistence that gosh he totes didn't think Ryosuke would go THAT far and I'm still wondering wtf the two of them were doing at the hospital the night the twins were born but like. Honestly at this point, I don't really think it matters and I care much more about emotional resolutions than I do granular plot details - and boy do we get one hell of an emotional resolution.
I haven't shouted her out yet because I was saving it for this section but fuck, man, Mengo's expression work told chapter is killer as usual but this final stretch of pages is just gutwrenching. Ai's gentle, rueful smile on the DVD contrasted with the look of shocked, dawning understanding on Kamiki's….. Jesus Christ.
And at last, we uncover the final secret hidden at the bottom of Ai's heart. The entire manga thus far has been a process of stripping away the viewer's willful ignorance with regards to Ai's humanity but the DVDs had been an oddly ominous mystery box floating around, containing some implied dark secret that would change the entire trajectory of Ai's character as we knew it… but of course, the person who tells us that is Ai herself, a girl who hates herself, thinks of herself as dirty and impure, irresponsible and incapable of love.
So is it really any surprise that her darkest secret, the thing she can only confess with her eyes shining with black stars is simply that she's a fallible human? That she was a lonely young girl, confused and hurt in her own ways and that she hurt someone she dearly cared for and wanted to take it back?
Is it a little convenient that she put all this in the DVD? Yes, absolutely, and I'll be the first to say that the DVDs existing at all are a pretty clear retcon in service of getting info onto Aqua's hands. But it's also perfectly in line with Ai's timid, avoidant methods of reaching out. It parallels both Viewpoint B and 45510 (moreso the latter) where she pours her heart out in words, waiting for others to read and understand her. In 45510 in particular, her leaving the blog post is an extremely clear and strong parallel to the DVD - love letters put into bottles and thrown to the ocean in desperate hope the person they're addressed to might find and understand them.
As Akane says, Ai is torn between secrecy and a desire to have her true self exposed, so she attempts to craft scenarios in which this must happen, even if her avoidance can only allow her to do so with indirect methods. With the blog and moreso the DVDs & their method of delivery, Ai attempts to create situations where the initiation confrontation and disclosure is out of her hands and she has no choice but to tell the truth.
Ai's entire speech here is just heartbreaking. If the start of the chapter didn't make it explicit enough, we see her here put her good intentions into words to better understand how they were misinterpreted.
This adds SUCH a fascinating additional layer to her death that has me gnashing my fucking teeth. One of the things I've talked about a lot in my Ai meta is that Ryosuke is essentially an agent or even an embodiment of the entertainment industry and the way it has exploited her - the misogyny, entitlement, purity culture and abuse that ruled her life went on to end it. With this additional detail, though, Ryosuke becomes an agent not just of the things that plagued Ai of B-Komachi, but Ai as a human, too. All her life, Ai is willfully misunderstood and mischaracterized by the people around her, assigned narratives and roles without her consent and punished for both living up to and failing to live up to them. Ai's death is the end result of a lifelong cascade of failure on the part of every system and individual that has had the opportunity and responsibility to care for her - and, as Aqua throws in his father's face, that includes Hikaru.
Hikaru's supposed understanding of Ai is not one based in empathy or love but projection and possessiveness - understanding in this context is ownership, exclusivity and frankly, arrogance. A claim to a piece of Ai that no one else knows. But as Aqua forces him to realize… Hikaru never understood Ai, even as she did her best to make herself understood. For all his arrogance of understanding Ai and the nature of their relationship, Kamiki is ultimately just the same as every other person who idolized and objectified her then discarded her when the image they'd created in their mind didn't match reality. Ai wasn't his pure and perfect soulbonded saviour - she was a lonely, broken kid like him, still struggling to understand love after a lifetime spent starved of it.
Once, Kamiki begged Ai to save him. And here, the bitter truth is laid out for all of us: the salvation Kamiki had wished for was waiting for him, reaching out with open arms and he not only desecrated it but irrevocably destroyed any path back towards it. In killing Ai, Hikaru Kamiki killed himself.
The imagery of this moment is so fucking gorgeous. The visual of Kamiki and Ai reaching out to each other, in mutual understanding at last but separated by time and death… the "what if" happy Hoshino family… Ai's words being framed as a 'love letter' that transcended time to reach Kamiki and Aqua's eyes blazing with white as tears pour down his face… Jesus fucking Christ Mengo I'm already dead!!!!!
Like I said up top, I make zero secret of the fact that I am primarily invested in Ai above everything else in the manga and the way her importance has been seemingly downplayed since the late 130s mark chapter wise has really bugged me. As such, this chapter was INSANELY cathartic for me. Not only do we get a really beautiful cap to Ai's post death arc (hopefully finally killing those dumbfuck Secretly Evil Ai theories for good) but it's done in a way that once again recenters her love and her wishes as the heart of everything. Even Aqua's revenge play is completely redefined in this context - no longer the childish, selfish and self destructive lashing out we've seen before but as a quest to both honor Ai and to punish the person arrogantly assuming ownership of her heart even as he so catastrophically misunderstands her.
This is a really fantastic end to Aqua's arc too… on paper, that is. I know for a fact that a certain genre of OnK readers are going to bitch and moan that Aqua didn't run his dad over with a 2003 Honda Civic but I really can't imagine Aqua's revenge quest going any other way unless OnK was intended to be a pure tragedy. Over and over, we have seen that Aqua's revenge is at odds with not just his happiness but with Ai's wish for him to live a full life with a bright future. It is self destructive, hurtful to the people around him and antithetical to any of them moving on and reclaiming what their futures. With the emphasis the story places on moving towards a happy future, in selfishly reclaiming your happiness even in the face of systems that seek to crush you and on honouring Ai's wishes and legacy, it would be flatly thematically incoherent for Aqua to choose killing.
The issue is not with this as Aqua's end point but with the path we've taken to get here. As was the issue with Ruby during the Movie Arc, we don't actually see any of the internal work that happened in service of this arc, just the big emotional end points of offscreen development. But it stings especially bad with Aqua when such a huge chunk of the last few arcs locked us out of his head, sharply contrasting the start of the story that lived and breathed his interiority - AND when this is more or less the capstone to his series long struggle to choose love or revenge. It's not that I dislike this as an emotional payoff for Aqua's revenge - this is more or less beat for beat what I'd expected - but that it lacks proper support from the rest of the story. In general, this chapter falls flatter than it should because all this heightened, dramatic emotion rests on arcs and setup that simply have not been shown to the reader, save for Ai.
Speaking of Ai, the info in the DVD here potentially represents a pretty major break in the continuity of Aqua's behaviour based on when we're told he had access to it but I'm willing to bite my tongue and see if that gets filled in, if only because this chapter review is already so fucking long. Let's just say that I Noticed and I sure hope Aka or his editors did too.
And finally… Oh, hey there, Ruby! Aren't you an interesting little snarl to this chapter. Or maybe "snarl" isn't quite right, but her presence here is potentially interesting either way. I'm not quite sure how to read both her expression and her presence - the expression on her face looks VERY displeased and it looks to me like she's outside the room, so is she maybe eavesdropping and not happy with what she hears? Or is she in on Aqua's talk with Kamiki here and just struggling with her emotions with regards to it all? I'm quiety hoping it's the latter, because it would confirm that Ruby DID recognize her dad in 147 and Akasaka wasn't expecting me to believe he was hitting her with the stupid stick quite that hard lol.
In either case, I'm actually excited to see what Ruby takes away from this. In the ways that AQRB has echoed the HKAI dynamic, Ruby has always been in Kamiki's shoes - the one desperate to be saved, clinging to her oshi and relying on him as her sole bastion of light in the world. So what will she think now after being faced with the logical endpoint of this wished-for codependence? When she sees how destructive and self destructive it can potentially be? Just as she saw Ai reflected in herself, will Ruby see her father in her own reflection - and if so, what will she do about it?
Break next week! So we'll be sitting pretty for two weeks to find out. Not that I actually mind this time because with a chapter like this on top of season 2 of the anime coming back today, a week without a break might have actually killed me… please, akamengo, i'm just a little guy!!!!
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Ok so trying to find my old alien stage x starwars crossover post bc someone asked to see it, but tumblr is acting up again and wont fucking let me find it, BUT I have it saved in my notesapp where I originally wrote it (get fucked tumblr) so were just gonna repost it here!
So yeah, no real context needed Alien Stage x Starwars crossover ft. Till bc he is my favorite.
(this was all written around round 5's release, if I remember correctly)
All I'm saying is that if Palpatine tried that "yes, strike me down, embrace the darkness, let it consume you . . ." shit on Till, Till would go *fuck you old man I'll take that bet* and beat him to death w no regrets then probably write a song about it later
Is your crush since childhood (presumed) dead?? Your childhood friend / rival of sorts confessed his love for you with a desperate, (unwanted) kiss then died at your feet to make sure you survived????
New therapy idea just dropped: beating an old man to death !! Reviews are in and they say it's HIGHLY effective !!!
Who would be funniest for Till to bludgeon to death w a guitar actually? Maul or Ventress are the most likley for him to not only just find out in the wild but in a situation where he can both actually interact w him without getting shot instantly by like, guards nearby and also be, yk, motivated to take that shot by them committing obvious crimes he may take issue with
Palpatine is the most obviously funny one and would solve a lot of problems.
I feel like Dooku would be the out of pocket one actually, a lot of fics leave him either alive or vuagley off screen when it comes to fucking shit up in clone wars era.
I want people to recognize Till actually. I want alien stage to be a morbid fascination for a good portion of the galaxy, maybe the usual do gooders like jedi can't interfere bc its technically legal in the specific corner of the galaxy its hosted in. Something something politics something something the senate doesn't want them to interfere idk. Its in the outer rim I don't think they touch things there all too much anyways
Anyways: Till beats Count Dooku to death with a guitar on live holo and the very first immediate reaction for a chunk of the galaxy is just. Is that. The pop star? I. Is that that one alien stage death game pop star???
Like imagine if you were just some guy living ur life and a pretty ugly looking war is looming overhead but you're doing your best to keep your head down, stay safe, all that. And then you go on twitter and everyone is posting videos of Hannah Montana beating Vladamir Putin to death live on stage with her microphone
And you're like "what the actual fuck" and your friend is like "does this mean the war is off now" and you don't KNOW but damn if all these new Hannah Montana edits everyone is dropping don't go hard as fuck
Till and Anakin would either get along concerningly well or fucking despise eachither. Like it's on sight.
Pick your poison! Is this fics obligatory "small silly reason why Anakin is too busy to be tempted into child murder by Palpatine";
A) he's an alien stage enthusiast and cant miss out on its live streams to meet w the old man sorry Palpatine
Or B) he's too busy programming little droids to start screaming every time Till opens his mouth to speak
"I don't know if Till would actually kill someone " / "Ok but Till is like just a dude. Not even a particularly strong or skilled one. He wouldn't last 2 seconds against a sith or literally anyone with actual training to fight."
Ok counter argument: it'd be funny. Now get back in the basement. I'm trying to cheer on my favorite space pop king as he beats an old man to death
fun scene where he sits in a cantina somewhere, clutching a drink as his own voice and Ivan's play over the radio as they sing Cure. His heart beating faster and faster in his ears till it hits the part where Ivan died and he just hunches in on himself, like if he curls tight enough he can shield the voices from reaching his ears.
He's so fucking depressed and visibly out of it in all the recent videos, I feel like he needs to find something to respark that rage. (Obligator *fuck I can't wait for Luka to try and get a rise out of him in the next round) maybe in this fic that spark is committing violence against the evil elderly who knows
Mmmmm Till sleep walking through the refugee camp, his eyes downcast and shoulders slumped and defeated as he blends in with the crowds of people who've escaped their own situations. Nothing special to see here, nothing special at all. His force presence is quiet and weighed down, hardly even visible if you aren't looking.
He's dissosiating like 80% of the time and that's what let's him get the jump on Dooku, who's probably there to poke at Obi-Wan and was NOT expecting the guitar to the back of his head.
Instant kill !!!! The clones are all pointing making pog faces everyone cheers the galaxy is saved etc. Etc.
#birds fic talk#this is an extra stupid one but still has a special place in my heart#alnst#alnst till#till#alien stage#starwars#star wars
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(tws ahead: discussion of food, diets and diet culture, eating disorders, calorie counts, and fatphobia in the context of pregnancy)
Truly one of the most bizarre things about being pregnant has been the official advice around food. Food and eating is difficult enough already when you're pregnant - there's excellent scientific evidence that it's advisable to moderate your caffeine intake and avoid alcohol, and an entire laundry list of stuff you're supposed to avoid for food safety/food poisoning risk reasons. (I am a nerd and I read the last scientific review of the linked advice from the NZ Ministry of Health, so I can say with confidence it's also pretty well supported.) Personally, I am largely indifferent to going without alcohol, but after half a year or so my brie cravings are getting pretty intense. That's going to be even tougher for people with food restriction issues. And then there's the potential nutrient deficiencies that come when a baby is sucking up all your available iron, calcium, etcetera.
But on top of all this...a couple of things are also true:
later pregnancy and breastfeeding require a higher calorie intake because you're, uh, feeding an entire baby with your body and those calories have to come from somewhere
healthy pregnancy also requires weight gain because of the aforementioned 'growing an entire person' thing
Western Anglophone society absolutely loses its goddamn mind at the thought of telling women (and other pregnant people, but they are clearly not thinking that far) that it's okay for them to eat more than normal, let alone gain weight
So there's reams and reams of official advice which has like one line saying "maybe don't diet when you're pregnant" quickly followed by "but it's OK! you can diet afterwards! you'll lose lots of weight when you breastfeed!" and then like. eight paragraphs on how while technically, they suppose you need some extra calories during some of your pregnancy, it is DEEPLY IMPORTANT that those calories only come from the most healthy and boring possible foods, because otherwise you might gain too much weight which is the worst possible thing that could happen. Try carrot sticks! Fat-free yoghurt! Dry toast! I have literally seen advice suggesting the extra calories you need can be gained from a "small snack". Maybe an apple. (Most of the estimates I've seen about extra calorie needs in later pregnancy are in the range of 3-400 extra calories a day. That apple would have to be the size of your head.) This is all followed up with dire warnings about gestational diabetes, which is lurking in the wings waiting for any pregnant person who dares use it as justification for eating that extra biscuit. There is clearly a really deep-seated belief at play that if you give them - us - an excuse to eat more we will gorge ourselves on, IDK, chips and ice cream, because the only thing holding us back from obesity is the constant reminder that gaining weight is BAD and that eating too much food is BAD (even though the reality is that weight gain and higher caloric needs are part of a healthy pregnancy). This reality has to be held at arms' length and hemmed in with restrictions and cautions lest all hell break loose. You are very literally advised to calculate your BMI, weigh yourself regularly, and have a target weight gain - i.e. implicitly to restrict your food intake if your weight gain is higher - which I'm sure is just chill and fabulous for people with a history or present of eating disorders.
(The cherry on top of this is that it's normal for pregnant people to have suppressed appetites in late pregnancy despite needing more food because, again, there is an entire baby in there squashing their organs. Add in all those foods that you can't eat, and it can actually be somewhat challenging to eat enough.)
The bit that haunts me is that we know that caloric restriction during pregnancy makes children more likely to have higher weights later on, and you know who is most targeted with this diet-but-don't-diet-but-actually-kinda-do rhetoric? Fat people, who are advised to gain at absolute most about the weight of a healthy full-term baby + amniotic fluid/placenta/etc - and that it's fine if they gain much less weight than that, barely more than the weight of a healthy baby, which would actually equate to total weight loss. During pregnancy. It feels like there could be a lot of self-fulfilling prophecy going on here vis a vis fat parents having fat kids. which is now sometimes characterised as a form of child abuse. FUN.
Anyway, I am sure I'm not the only person to have made these observations (and if you know good writing on this topic I'd love to be linked to it, because I'm way too chicken to try Googling) but man. As I said at the start: the level at which fatphobia and diet culture are institutionalised during pregnancy, to the detriment of actual health, is wild.
(For my money, sane advice would be 'healthy eating advice is the same during pregnancy as it is other times except for the specific foods you should avoid because of increased food poisoning risk, and you need to eat a bit more in later pregnancy. The end.')
#fwiw my midwife has never even asked to weigh me#and she only asks about food in the context of 'are you having any digestive issues' and monitoring of things like iron and B vitamins#so that's cool and good but oh boy#I wish I didn't feel grateful this was the case
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so, im a hugeeee pokemon fan, and i couldn't resist giving some LI's full teams, i'm posting them for peer review (and also i have no idea what nicknames they would give their pokemon, so uhhh help ?)
I tried to take pokemon solely from the Galarian pokedex, cause it's the UK equivalent and I thought it'd be fun :
Kylar's team:
Chandelure was a Litwick he found in his house a few days after his parents had "the accident", and it brought him some much needed warmth. The things about Litwicks, is that they leech off of people's life force, but is also said to guide lost children to the spirit world, but Kylar was too stubborn to die, so the Litwick stayed and grew up into his Chandelure.
The Absol he found when he was in middle school, he was fleeing from bullies and ducked into an alleyway, where he found an injured Absol staring intently at him. Absols are seen as doombringers because of their ability to foresee imminent disasters, so this one had been chased off and thrown rocks at, meaning it was in bad shape. Kylar took it home and nursed it back to health, and it has since refused to leave his side.
Decidueye was the offspring of his parents' pokemon, and has been his since the egg hatched, so it's very attached to its master, willing to do everything for him, it was here for the accident and remains highly protective of its master. (also owl motif hehe)
The Alolan Ninetales I have less of a reason for, but it is said to act as a guide to people when they come to its mountain, and I had this idea of Kylar coming up the snowy mountain for some reason, and the Ninetales growing fond of this tiny shivering kid, and just following him and cuddling him until he caught it. (idk i just want good things for Kylar ig sue me)
The shiny Galvantula was for me a result of Kylar trying his hand at breeding Joltiks for fun, and this one being in the first few eggs he finds. He decides to keep it, at first for bragging rights, but he really does take good care of it, so another pokemon is added to his ever growing cuddle pile.
Finally, the Crobat was probably found in the rafters of the mansion as a small Zubat, around the time Kylar only had the Litwick and Rowlet. Kylar, having leftover pokemon food, decides to just feed the little fella, and a good friendship blooms. Crobats are said to be extremely stealthy, and can drain people of their blood, so Kylar has gained himself a convenient way of scaring off rivals.
Whitney's team:
Cinderace probably came up to Whitney when he was a child as a Scorbunny, seeing him play football with his friends and wanting to play too. A fast friendship, I'd say, I think Whitney would have been a super energetic kid, and a Scorbunny is perfect for him.
The shiny Togekiss was probably a Togepi gifted by his uncle, and technically a Togekiss, which usually avoid strife, should never stay in Rapeshire, this one likes Whitney too much to leave, it wants to bring him as much joy as possible.
I mean come on, Obstagoon is THE deliquent pokemon, of course Whitney has one. Maybe gifted to him by one of his gang's members ? I think that'd be cute.
Drednaws are seen as highly aggressive so I'm thinking one might have been rampaging through "Whitney's territory", and he wrestled it into "submission", gaining its respect, not before he gets bit through a little tho. He still has the scar from the incident, and the Drednaw sometimes licks at it in apology, now that its been caught.
Alright so I have the headcanon (or maybe it was canon and I forgot) that Whitney has had a garden since he was a kid, and maybe the Roserade came from there as a little Budew ? As in, it was interested and just started staying around, and Whitney couldn't get rid of it, so he just caught it.
Lastly, Sylveon. Sylveons evolve when they have high enough friendship with their trainer (and a fairy move), and obviously Whitney has been pampering it, but I'm thinking it probably doesn't come out of the ball in public much, it's kind of his secret ? But yeah, it's still very much loved.
Robin's team:
Dubwool was found as a Wooloo by the PC when they were going around the moors, it probably escaped from a farm and PC just brought it back for Robin to take care of as a gift. Its wool is said to be bouncy, but I think it can also be a way for Robin to ground themselves if they ever panic, as in they can bury their face in the wool and just shut the world out, I think that'd be sweet.
Goodra has been with Robin since it was a little Goomy, which are considered the weakest dragon type (the pokedex says it not me). Goomys are very good at detecting danger, and can hide very easily, so, sensing little Robin's good intentions, it probably helped hide him from Bailey. Apparently, Goodras give amazing good hugs, even if they do cover their trainer in slime, but I don't think Robin would mind.
Quagsire, similarly knew Robin as a Wooper. Woopers, when walking on land to find food, develop a toxic membrane on their bodies, but this one couldn't quite manage it, and was attacked by predators when Robin was passing through. Robin chased off the predators and gave the Wooper some fruits to help it recuperate, and its been attached to them ever since. Quagsires are very carefree pokemon, and they make great pillows. Basically I'm just giving Robin a perfect team for a cuddle nest.
Victini is the only legendary on this list, and I felt it was only right to give Robin the ever cheerful Victory Pokemon. Victini probably found Robin either after they were taken to the docks, or if that hasn't happened, after they confess to PC. Robin keeps Victini secret at all costs, as it would be hunted for its ability. Having Victini around probably helps Robin regain some self-esteem, and they make a great duo.
Boltund is a dog Robin found in the park one winter day as they were selling hot chocolate, a poor cold mutt with no identifiable traits proving it was owned. Robin secretly took it home and made the split second decision to keep it, now they've got a very excitable dog that's unflinchingly loyal. Boltund acts a sort of guard dog as well, reassuring Robin when they're walking past the docks.
Whimsicott had infiltrated the orphanage, and pulled a prank on Bailey, as Whimsicotts are wont to do, covering his office in its excess cotton. Bailey was furious and looking everywhere for the mischief maker, but the little ball of trouble had hidden itself in Robin's room, and the latter decided to keep it out of trouble and continue hiding it. Ever since then it's felt indebted and stays with Robin. It also quite likes to play pranks on Bailey, and that brings a smile to Robin, so why not continue to do it?
Sydney's team
Inteleon was actually gifted to Sydney as a Sobble by Sirris, reasoning his child should have a partner pokemon, so Sydney is the only one of this list with an actual starter pokemon (in the sense that he was supposed to go on a pokemon journey but ultimately stayed home). Inteleon loves its trainer very much, even if it has to force them to take breaks every now and then. A laid back pokemon and a hardworking trainer is a good duo, they influence each other a lot.
Audino was actually the temple's pokemon at first, acting as an aide to the temple's nurse, but it liked Sydney a lot and always fussed over them much more than any other initiate, so the temple relented and allowed Sydney to keep the Audino. Audino is actually the first one to pick up on Sydney's crushes, since it can use its feelers to sense its trainer's emotions. It subtly pushes Sydney to confess every time.
Dragapult was a lonely Dreepy haunting the temple's cemetery, having been left behind by its pack, it was letting out little mourning cries, which naturally attracted the curious little Sydney, who started leaving some food out for it, since it was too flighty to be approached at first. A few more weeks of getting it used to their presence, and it let itself be caught and taken care of.
Lilligant to me, was originally Sydney's other parent's pokemon, and acted as a sort of mother to them from the start. Lilligants release a soothing aroma, and I think in a time of mourning, or when Sydney lost Kylar, it would act as an aid and smother Sydney in the fragrance to help him feel better.
Okay so work with me for Volcarona here, because in multiple pokedexes, Volcarona is said to have been revered as a sun deity, and while that isn't the case today anymore, it still is a very significant part of Volcarona's history, so finding one in the woods while on a walk someday and being followed by it to the temple, all the while acolytes and initiates are falling to their knees around you is not the thing Sydney was expecting, but still, Volcarona has chosen them, so might as well roll with it.
Finally, Dedenne was a living in the school library before Sydney found it chewing through books and decided to give it a better home, and now it lives with them. It likes to take care of the books as well, and has become the library's unofficial mascot.
so uhh yeah those were my thoughts, tell me what you think ?
#pokemon dol#kylar the loner#dol kylar#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#dol sydney#whitney the bully#dol whitney#robin the orphan#dol robin#apple's writings#apple's writing
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saw ur recommendation for 3m aura n95s 👀👀 any advice on where to get them from? heading back 2 school in a few weeks and wanna stock up — tysm !!!!!
ok so!! my first recommendation is to see if there is a mask block near you, in my area it was CRANE (covid resistance action northeast), they're having trouble stocking and filling orders rn so mine took ~a month to arrive but the time would've passed anyway as they say . if ur in a more urban area ur a lot more likely to have one near u tbh, idk if it'd work but it'd be worth reaching out to the closest one even if they're not technically working in ur exact area just to see . here's a map of mask blocs worldwide- they're mostly in america (continent - but mostly in the US+canada) & europe (mostly in great britian) but there are some others too
otherwise the safest way to get some that are 100% not counterfeit is ordering directly from a supplier, but that can be expensive . project n95 is inactive now but theres still a list of suppliers there !! 3m is really good from experience . u can also get n95s/kn95s/p100 respirators from home depot if u have one near u- however the supplyaid kn95s they sell arent very good, i had them and theyre better than nothing but they only have a 67% filtration rate (as opposed to the 95% expected from n95s and kn95s - thats what the 95 stands for i was mindblown when i discovered this)
also while im thinking about it, part of the reason n95s are more protective than kn95s despite both filtering 95% of particles is bc the seal on the n95 is a lot more reliable than the kn95 :}
me personally ive been getting mine from amazon (not recommended) (i have gift cards there so im not giving them My money at least) and trying my best to make sure they're legit . i referenced the 3m n95 1870s i got using this twitter thread and they seem to be legit? on amazon it also usually says where it ships from and check the storefront, the reviews etc etc. i basically have to do an entire vetting process every time its very annoying ❤️ it is a lot less expensive though, especially if they have a sale going . (here are the ones ive been getting- the listings look the same as of rn but amazon changes them all the time so take this with a grain of salt, person i imagined reading this in 2027. link 1, link 2)
ive tried the holy trinity (new term i made up for the 3m n95 1870 (red straps), 3m n95 9205 (blue straps), and 3m n95 9210 (braided white straps)) -- ime the 9210 definitely has the tightest head straps and i have an abnormally small head on account of being 3 inches tall and born in a thimble all alone . so thats something to be aware of, if u have an abnormally big head the 3m auras might not be the best bc of the strap tightness .
SORRY I'M LIKE INFODUMPING AT U NOW ..!! i have more though . If you know anyone irl who masks asking them where they get theirs might help, they might know stuff locally. ALSO speaking of knowing stuff locally- i don't know if this is universal but i have a friend who's getting really into asian cuisine and a lot of asian grocery stores ive been to with her in my area have had masks. that's such a long shot but ive seen them five out of six stores ive gone to and never at, like, hannaford or market basket or whatever.
OKAY ONE MORE THING . when i got my free masks from crane (SHOUTOUT CRANE I LOVE YOU CRANE) they also sent a thing abt how to reuse them that i will add !! they can be used for like 40 hours if theyre not visibly dirty or the straps dont break or anything
okay i am done infodumping now SORRY THIS IS SO LONG..!!! tldr: local mask bloc if it's an option is definitely the least expensive, project n95 compiled a bunch of links to buy from suppliers, home depot/other hardware stores are worth a shot, and amazon's an option especially if you're like me (poor but have money stuck in amazon gift cards) 🫡
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every time i get one of those videos in my recommended of anime reviewers with the title like "WIND BREAKER IS STRAIGHT HANDS" or "THE BEST FIGHTING ANIME" it really gets on my nerves lol
because yes on one hand theyre not technically WRONG... Wind Breaker is "about" fighting in the sense that the story contains a lot of it... but i feel like its just so ridiculously reductive.
and i also know that these videos often rely on clickbait but man idk as someone who has read the manga, calling wind breaker simply "about fighting" or GOD FORBID saying something like "wind breaker is ALL hands ALL THE TIME" well you're maybe not looking deep enough lol
to be fair to those people who are anime onlys, we are only like 10 episodes in and all the early content is basically just fighting but the thing im scared of is videos like that attracting the kind of audience who will become discontent later on when the narritive starts to focus more on things that arent fighing. (like tsubaki's whole introduction chapters have pretty much no fighting in them)
i guess im basically just mad at powerscalers reducing a really heartfelt and emotionally impactful story into just. a show about street fights.
#wind breaker#SORRY FOR THE DOOMER RANT#i just hate anime dudebros with my whole heart#they engage with media in possibly the most boring and shallow way ever
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Saltburn
ok I am aware that I'm actually incredibly late I started writing this review when I first watched the movie and am only just now finishing it 💀
I AM BACK(!!!!!) with a slightly dubious entry into my gay movie review list in terms of how gay it actually is, BUT i truly believe saltburn is incredibly gay and it is also technically gay but there are no gay relationships but the main character is defintley gay, or bisexual but actually everything about him is up for debate so idk.
ok so i saw saltburn in the cinema which is actually a first for this account, and i literally was thinking about it the whole way home and also when i went to sleep that night. FIRST of all this is finally the project that has convinced me that jacob elordi is indeed hot ive seen him in euphoria and in the kissing booth and both times ive been confused what the deal is but now i get it ok SECOND i love the vibes so much, its got old money uber rich people, extravagant parties, revenge, hate, sex (that is maybe not for the faint of heart especially one scene but also now that i think about it basically all of them are not for the faint of heart)
Weirdly enough as time has gone on I've liked the film less. I think originally I was impressed with the twist and the aesthetic and now I realise that's kind of all there is. I did have a great time watching though. It's a fun world to get thrown into
I say it's not technically super gay cause whether the main character (who's name I completely forgot) is actually gay for Jacob elordi or just really wants to be him to the point of fucking his grave (!) is up for debate. I would say he's definitely something
If somehow you haven't watched saltburn yet and are wondering if you should I would say go for it cause it is an enjoyable movie. But there's not really much going on below the surface. There's something to be said about whether we should criticise movies for having no real point of view or message or whatever but it's just a fun weird crazy weird movie that'll fill up a couple hours so why not 🤷 8/10
#lgbtq#lgbtq movies#movie recc#movie review#movie recommendation#saltburn#jacob elordi#barry keoghan
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Hello friends. Yet another post on a topic literally no one here signed up for but the blog is about my hyperfixation of the month so here we are
I have been reading dramione. I know in my last post i said i was ki da over dramione after a couple of fics because i find the pairing too toxic but i only kinda lied because i have just reread the like 4 dramione fics i found and liked and now i will review them. Technically i have read/started more than 4 but i won't be commenting on fics i didn't like because that isn't fair to the writers.
The first one was manacled. Which i know what a fucking reintroduction to the fandom. But i am no young newbie. I used to read and rewrite A LOT of harry potter fic and while its still fuck jk rowling, she doesn't financially benefit from fic and i heard years ago that she doesn't like fic so. I hope its all a big fuck u to her.
Anyway, manacled. Wow!!! What the fuck???? It has lived rent free in my head ever since. I literally cannot stop thinking about it. If ever i reentered the harry potter fic world let it be known that it would be so i can write fanfic of this fanfic. A couple points - manacled is kinda overly long and would benefit from an editor/beta reader, but I heard senlinyu wrote it on her phone while nursing a baby and just???? Idk what her day job is, but that woman needs to be doing creative writing mfas, writers workshops, residencies, whatever. That is extraordinary creative talent.
I think the first part with hermione in the manor was a bit overly long and too torture porn ish. A lot of the scenes bordered into the unnecessarily gratituous. But overall, it was well plotted, well written, and gut wrenching. The last section takes my breath away
The second fic i read was Remain Nameless. And while i kinda don't love smut (it makes me a little uncomfy) i think remain nameless is a perfrct example of fanfic as a genre. Within fic, there are obviously genres, but there are stylistic elements and things that I think makes fanfiction a genre in itself. Remain Nameless is an exploration of character that goes beyond the confines of conventional or traditionally publish-able story structure. It is too long, too drawn out, too indulgent to be a traditionally published story. If i swap out the names and details in Manacled or Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in love (up next) out, its a probably close to a stand alone novel, but Remain Nameless relies on you knowing and already caring about Draco and Hermione. I don't mean that disparagingly at all, I just think sometimes people don't realize that fanfic should be different from traditionally published novels and that is a benefit of the genre. I think Remain Nameless is great. Its an indulgent, fluffy read that takes two broken people and slowly puts them back together again. Its like a hug in book format.
My next one is DMATMOOBIL!! I loved this one. And the author??? You cannot convince me that this fic was not written by someone with literal years of publishing experience in contemporary romance. No way. Its too good. Not just in a good writing way. Manacled is good in an unfiltered, raw talent way, but DMATMOOBIL is polished. The plot is perfectly structured and then each chapter within that is perfectly structured. I loved it. It wad witty, funny, heartfelt, and exciting. Not sure what more I can say about it. It reads like published fiction both in its polish and readability, and I think of all the fics I read has the best worldbuilding. It is truly exciting to read about the possibilities of magical and muggle science colliding in this book and bringing their world to the 21st century.
The last fic i read was Green Light by SereneMusafir. I thought it was so good but would benefit from being split into two maybe even three books. Green Light features a journalist coming to interview Draco many years after the events of the book, so that kinda complicates splitting it up, but as it stands, the story parts are too vast and thematically disparate to be one book. The first part has Draco and Hermione on an expedition in the desert to find a archeological myth and the writing is extraoridinary. Its poetic and cinematic. But I think at times it all tries to do too much. Like I said, the whole thing needs to be split up but each chapter also needs to be a bit shorter. Again, I don't mean cutting content, but rather restructuring. As it is, I read an incredible scene, but then there's like 5 more scenes of something else, and by the time I'm at the end of the chapter, I've kinda forgotten what amazing prose I read earlier on. Things get lost in this way. Beautiful passages buried.
I think two or three books would also allow each thematic section to be explored better. Idk i thought about this one a lot. I likely will not reread Green Light the way I have reread the others on this list, but other than Manacled, it is the one I think about most. Its the most ambitious plot wise and it kinda got lost in that ambition but I think it has so much potential and was over all very good.
Anyway. That is the end to this book review no one asked for. I will likely not be reading more dramione. So here ends that brief of excellent phase.
#dramione#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry pottet fanfic#dramione fic#draco malfoy#hermione granger#manacled#senlinyu#remain nameless#heyjude19#draco malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love#isthisselfcare#dmatmoobil#green light#serenemusafir
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just another one of the many, many NPC Shen Yuan AU's out there
this one is an author SY in PIDW, bingyuan flavoured very briefly about it under the cut if u wanna
ok like i said i'll go over kust the brief basic stuff cuz I'm not good with words. but basically its sy dropped in pidw like, mid endgame ig, with already blackened protag and no system. so he's like, this might as well happen and goes to vibe and explore bc he's been dropped with the basic necessities to live for a bit. after some time he realizes he's in PIDW and after the initial outrage decides to capitalize on it and uses knowledge from his days spent editing the pidw wiki for fun. so he's running along having fun cataloguing things into several bestiaries and herbals (and cartography stuff etc just compiling worldbuilding) and decides to publish them with an actual success and he becomes a bit of a well-known author in the encyclopedia scene. so he's living out his best life, traveling from place to place, using his meta timeline knowledge to stay clear of the places that are plot-relevant at the time, happy to stay clear out of the path of his blackened blorbo.
that is until someone publishes a binghe biography that is so bad and so 'conquests' focused that he cant help but write his own (leaving out too personal things that he's sure lbh wouldn't want out there) under a pseudonym as a deliberate critique of the other one, which he even clearly states in the prologue of it (that the work is a disservice and disrespectful to the lord and wives alike and much more flowery vitriol, just letting his old angry commenter out)
so its published and it doesnt actually do half-bad because over the years of writing he has gotten pretty decent and that's it for a while. Until it gets to the demon lord. it gets brought to his attention by his court which takes care of notifying him of any possibly slanderous works (lbh doesn't actually care that much about stuff like that but they insist on it and its less tiresome to just let them do whatever than to keep telling them off) so they're like, there's one book, which isn't technically, a critique of the lord, but does criticise the other one which sings praises to him to all heavens so?? technically? (lbh knows of the first one but thought nothing of it bc it was mid and mostly inaccurate but again, he doesn't acre about that stuff rly) so they hand it over and he skims through it and slowly realizes that there is a lot of things that no-one or just a select few should have any idea about so, ok much more concerning than any bad portrayal of his person, even if nothing actually too-secret didn't get exposed in it. its about the principle. so he first conducts a search of his palace and his circle of people if the author is any of the people around because, who else could know about all this (trying to ignore the stuff that no-one except from him should be aware off) but it turns out with no results. so he orders his people to try to find them but the lands are vast and there's authors of plenty so of course that is also almost impossible.
what i think would be funny tho is if liu mingyan was like can I take a look/help, skimmed through it and was oh yeah I've seen this before and is able to trace it back to sy because he used unconsciously a modified phrase from his previous world that is not at all common here that he already used in one of his previous works (or maybe in an angry review of a novel, to scratch that forum commenter itch, that'd be maybe more probable for my to come across) so she notices that immediately because the first time she saw it she was left puzzled so she was sure it has to be most likely the same person again. and so bingge is set to go get his man hsdakhj
idk rly about the rest, maybe he finds him in a forest sketching down demonic beasts so he shapeshifts and a demon hound to get to him and spy on him (idk if he can but he's op so I say he can) or maybe he just comes over and invites himself him Idk. and the plan at first was just to squeeze the information out of this pesky scholar of how he knows about the shit he knows so he doesn't have to stress about it, but the plan turns into "ok new plan I'm keeping this one actually" sajdhkh and i didn't really think of what of next so thats that, whatever floats your boat is next cuz this is already a few days old so new brainrot took its daydream place haha xD
......wait thsi was supposed to be brief why is this wall of text here how did this happen (also I'm not rereading it so if it doesn't make sense I'm sorry lol)
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