#my ship (I'm the only one who makes content for it) LMAO

[cheshiresense]

One of the things that had been revealed earlier had been Ichigo's background, because they'd all noticed the flashes of Quincy and Hollow in his reiatsu. Kaien had broken three sake cups and almost Urahara's face, and even by the end, he'd still looked murderous enough that Shunsui had almost pitied Shiba Isshin's foreseeable future.

LOL kaien is a mood

(Because that's the one thing that's never been in question. Because however much Starrk sometimes reacts like Shunsui's very existence pains him, or how much he sometimes makes Shunsui feel completely bare, every sin and secret laid out for judgement, he's also never looked at Shunsui with anything less than the sort of quiet devotion the tide holds for the moon, or the stars for the sky, or dawn for the horizon, steadfast and eternal. Is it any wonder Shunsui can't stay away?)

i just love your shunstarrk so much, your write them with such a quiet and comfortable dynamic, exactly like sinking into a hot spring

thank you SO MUCH for deciding to write for this ship, it's not that popular and also kind of a "relic of the past" by now after starrk died so it's really hrad to find content for it, and i think the few shippers out there get discouraged just because there not much audience for it. but know that you have at least one devoted shunstarrk fan here!

Things would've been so different if Kaien had survived imo, even if Kisuke and Isshin and Masaki still managed to make Ichigo, there would've been hell to pay once Kaien found out, and I honestly think Ichigo would've had a lot more support and like also basic Shinigami lessons that would've actually been useful (like teaching him how to control his reiatsu from an early age instead of just letting it grow and grow until there was too much for him to contain while also having zero knowledge of how to even begin containing it) instead of getting dumped headfirst and blind into the spiritual world. But that's a world where Ichigo and prob his friends would have a functioning support system, which would mean the adults in their lives would actually have to pull their weight from the start, and then where would they be lmao. Certainly not kicking back in their houses while their children go off to war.

And I'm glad you like my ShunStarrk! I've always shipped them but only very recently got into it enough to write for them. And yeah it's an old ship, and with a very small fandom sadly so it doesn't even have the support that the old but popular ships did to keep it going past the Winter War. But at least there's still a couple ppl writing for it, and clearly at least a few ppl who still enjoy reading it. Thank you for taking the time to read my take on them 💖💖💖

[tearcynical]

Cooked up some doodles for you since I haven't been drawing my favorites in a while!! ( @pastry3 )

Also colored this one to test metal coloring stuff

[faeriekit]

hi! hope you're having an okay day. I was wondering if you had any fic recs, specifically with Matches Malone and/or identity shenanigans? I also really enjoy those fics :D hope you have a good day!

Identity shenanigans or Matches Malone?? Uhhhhhhhhhhh (*immediate panic*).

So the thing is, it really really really depends on what you, stranger, are comfortable with, and what you enjoy?? There are a lot of fics I like, or at least have tried out myself, but there are also a half-dozen that are super content sensitive, especially when it comes to, like, gang stuff and Gotham's underbelly...? I'm going to put a couple things here, but. Uh. I will also recommend just opening the Matches Malone tag on ao3 and applying your own filters, since I don't know any of your hard lines! There's only like 173 fics in total. Sorting through them is super easy. Have fun and be yourself.

On the other hand, I've got some stuff here:

Matches Malone identity nonsense:

⭐Good girls don't, but I do: Superbat, several undercover identities, gender fuckery (of what nature is up to reader interpretation), Journalist Clark Kent, and first time meetings! Unfinished so far, but super fun with a lot of potential! I am very excited about this one!!

⭐Have I told you about Minnie? Steph and Bruce bonding! Turns out, if you're pretending to be someone else, it's super easy to say nice things about your kids when they're not listening, lol...or are they? 👀

Matches Malone Has Too Many Kids: Man, weird how Matches Malone has as many kids as Brucie Wayne, huh....and boy will he tell you all about what his crime family has been up to! Features Bruce & Family bonding via undercover identities; what could go wrong?

⭐homewrecker: Omegaverse; Red Hood accidentally tells Two Face that Matches Malone (Bruce, undercover,) is his mom. ...Whoops. Now all of Gotham has an opinion on Matches' (Bruce) and Batman's (also Bruce) custody battle over their crime lord son, and new step-mom Bruce Wayne (also also Bruce) is asked to weigh in lmao. Top tier comedy. So dumb. Cannot recommend enough. Every single Bat kid takes the piss. Gotham's undergound is in a tizzy. Bruce is so, so tired.

⭐Under(under)cover: DC x White Collar. Tim, undercover as an ex-con in the government's favorite form of law enforcement, suddenly has to get the detectives around him off his back before his identity is exposed...so obviously pulling out a few Malone family members is a good enough distraction, right? 💀 Pretending you've recently escaped a crime family is totally not an extra burden to your already half-busted cover identity, Tim! There are no possible consequences for this!

Don't Mess with Ma's Boy: Ma's Boy, Metropolis's enforcer for Mafia head Ma Kent, catches a Bat in his back yard. Obviously, the solution is to show him around town and share street food, of course. (SuperBat, with Super Shenanigans lmao)

Other Malone nonsense (Batfam Identities Two, Electric Boogaloo):

Playing with Matches: Batfam-centric secondary identities schtick. You're a Malone! You're a Malone! Red Hood's a Malone?? Everyone's a Malone!! Outside POV from Red Hood's gang and more!

⭐Robbie Malone saves the day & spills secrets: a DC x White Collar undercover op extravaganza, featuring Jason and Dick as our MCs. (TW: does feature fears of sexual assault, nothing onscreen.)

The one who got away: another DC x White Collar fic. Turns out, uh, if you don't tell your new kid that you're the famous Gotham Bats or why one of Gotham's most famous untouchable mob families is coming around to visit all the time, they're going to come to their own conclusions! Those conclusions may not be flattering! They might be scared enough to cut and run, actually! You may have to apologize for making this extremely stressful on them!! ...If they let you back in at all!

Features smut (mostly SuperBat)(There are other ships in the tag they're just not my thing; go explore the tag yourself for other options):

⭐I want to sell what you're buying: Clark Kent, journalist, meets Matches Malone, informant, for a...wilder time than he was expecting to agree to on his trip into Gotham. (TW Fic eventually makes it more obvious that Clark knows who/what he's agreeing to, but it does read on the edge of identity dubcon for a hot minute if you're sensitive to that)

Matches and the Doll: I do love the dynamic of a ne'er do well and his extremely obedient Super as choice of undercover roles, but this is, at the end of the day, all leading up to wild exhibitionist smut FYI

Pretty Reporters Are Always In Need of Saving (title is largely self explanatory) is followed up with by a SuperBat week 2024 fill Good Boys Play with Matches. It's uh. You know. Alley sex and roleplay. Read the warnings.

Recs from the discord (Home of the Apiary Genders!)

(Un)Conventional Date Night: Dp x DC. Matches Malone and two out-of-town scientists tear up the town on their night off!

Your Boy That Was, the Son That Is... More Matches Malone & Red Hood identity angst. What happens when the son recognizes his father, but the man himself cannot?

Art:

Bruce as Matches Malone and Clark Illustration, as presented on ao3!

I think that's all I have time for today...? There are other identity shenanigan fics I love that aren't on here, but this list took me like an hour and a half and there is other writing I'm supposed to get done today...lol. I'm only 181 pages into this unreleased fic! I better get moving! 😜

Thanks for asking!🧡

[toskarin]

sorry if you've already answered this before but I'm new to your blog, what did you not like about gwitch? I haven't watched it myself, but I know friends who liked it and was just curious about a different perspective :] hope you're having a nice day!

these are like my sleeper agent activation words, but I'll make my rant about as short as I can. that being said, I am very much a hater about that series and would probably have more restraint normally LMAO

a lot of my problems with gwitch are intrinsically tied into the handling of the second half of the series and the tonal shift around it. the first cour was really good and there is a really jarring change of series direction after it

in what was seemingly an effort to cater the show more towards the largest fanbase possible, it drops a lot of its plot threads and muddles its more complicated themes by trying to tie them up into a simpler story of forgiveness. in pulling its punches and lightening the tone towards that second half, gwitch ends up relying a lot on fan content and shipping to achieve a satisfying ending

which, of course, means that if you weren't deeply invested in that side of things, you're left turning over some uncomfortable implications in your head that the show almost certainly didn't expect you to linger on

the first season opens by lampshading differences in social norms around homosexuality between planets, but when the show decides that there should only be one (deniable) gay pairing and everyone else should be straight, this never comes up again

beyond that, was the ending of the story really supposed to imply that you should reckon with how abusive parents only harm their children out of misguided love? surely not, right? that's a deeply conservative moral, and it only really feels that pronounced because of how the series doesn't engage with its own concepts

that's not really a generous way to look at things, and taking the second cour in isolation, that's absolutely not what it's saying. the problem here is that it still has to answer the questions it left open in the first cour, and if you were taking the writing seriously, it's hard not to feel that the change in story direction accidentally gave those answers

at the end of the day, gwitch feels cynically-made, like a creative vision was leading it towards saying something that old men in suits might've seen as complicating toy sales, and so its wings were clipped to keep it from doing so

[moni-logues]

The Surface

banner by @sailoryooons

Pairing: prince merman!Hoseok x sea witch!reader

Genre: fairytale AU/The Little Mermaid AU, smut

Summary: Prince Hoseok has only ever wanted one thing: to experience life on the Surface. You have only ever wanted Prince Hoseok. When he comes to you, desperate, claiming you are the only one who can help him, you decide to play along. You'll help him achieve his dream and maybe you'll satisfy your own dream, too.

Word count: 20k

Content: unprotected sex, oral sex (m. receiving), Hoseok has sex with someone but he thinks they're someone else, if you're incredibly squeamish, there may be some body/pain stuff that makes you go 😖, potentially a litt yandere-vibed

A/N: Happy my birthday eve to you, dear reader!!!!! This is my very first toe-dip into the world of fantasy/spn!! AND my first collab!!!!! Pleeeeaaassseeee read the warnings (and please!!!! let me know if I'm missing any or any are insufficient). I'm so excited; I struggled with plotting this fic and working out how to get it to do what I wanted and thid is actually v3.0 lmao BUT I'm really happy with it! And happy to be part of the Make Me Your Villain collab!!! Thanks to @daechwitatamic for beta-ng and yelling!!!!

*

Hoseok swam farther than he ever had before. Swam closer. He’d be inching forward and now he was close enough to be spotted; he knew that. He knew that that was too far, but he didn’t really care.

The first time he swam in this direction and saw the shadows of small boats cross over him, he’d bolted in a panic. Merpeople were not to be spotted by humans. Ever. So he’d raced away, not looking back.

But then he had the knowledge that humans sailed there. He knew that that stretch of water played host to life above its surface, too. They were little boats, not the huge ships he usually tailed. These were much smaller, with handfuls of humans sitting in them, pointing in the distance, holding little boxes up to their faces and lowering them again. Visible. Watchable. It was tantalising.

So he went back. Hung around and waited for a while. Did it again. Watched a boat sail over him and eventually drop anchor near the cove. Went back a third time. Saw the humans jump from the side of the boat into the water. Hung back.

The next time, he swam closer. And the time after that, closer still.

That particular day, he had time. Lots of it. There was nothing calling for his attention, nothing tying him to any place, so he edged closer and a little closer, until he could see so clearly their spindly legs kicking ineffectually through the water, their weird feet and tiny toes. He had never seen humans so close before. He wondered if anyone had. They were fascinating. They dived down and kicked back up, their limbs moving in the water to keep them afloat. They turned on to their backs, looking just like seals from below. They squealed and laughed and talked and Hoseok watched it all with rapt attention. What he wouldn’t have given to approach one. To have made contact. To have asked them all his questions.

He wished he had someone to tell. Someone who would receive the information with not even wonder—his hopes were not that high—but interest. He didn’t have anyone to share his discoveries with, his treasures, his excitement. No one else understood. Some people thought he was weird; others thought his interest in the human world was downright wrong.

But his excitement was palpable that day, floating so close to the humans, he could hear their voices. He could even just about make out their words. And then their speech took on a more urgent tone; there was more frantic splashing, some flailing of limbs. He looked around himself and rose until his head bobbed out of the water. He watched the humans spin, searching for something, pointing this way and that way, calling to each other, looking.

He wanted to help but he didn’t know how. He dipped back into the water and skirted around the edge of the group – still unseen—and then it hit him. He had been so focused on the humans that he hadn’t seen it.

The rip tide tugged him sideways with a vicious spinning force. He was lucky, because he lived in the sea and this was far from his first rip. It might have taken him unawares, but he was able to right himself and spiral through to the other side.

That was when he saw what they must have been looking for.

The rip had tossed him out on the other side of a sharp, rocky outcrop on the west side of the cove. It jutted far out into the sea, sheltering the shore from western winds, and he saw a human woman struggling to the surface.

Her limbs were slow and her face kept dipping under the waves until eventually, she just floated, barely moving at all, moving only with the rhythm of the waves. Hoseok watched with dread and fear curdling the excitement in his stomach. She was too still now, her face too low in the water. Something wasn’t right. There was something unnatural about the way she was lying there, suspended in the water.

Hoseok didn’t think before he acted. He kicked his fins and swam to her, wrapping one arm around her torso and hiking her upwards so her face was out of the water. He dragged her, swimming backwards, towards the shore. He was grateful there was a shore; the other side of the cove had nothing but sheer cliffs and sharp rocks.

He didn’t know what he would do when he reached the shingle beach, but being on land had to help, didn’t it? Land was where the humans belonged.

Hoseok dragged her as far out of the water as he could manage—which wasn’t very far because his tail churned the stones and wouldn’t propel him forwards, so he dragged himself, as well as this human woman, until only her legs were splashed by the waves.

He looked down at her, anxiety churning in his gut. How did humans die? Was she already dead? The thought was nauseating. He knew humans had hearts like merpeople did, so he pressed his hand against her chest and felt nothing. He pressed a hand against his own chest. Felt nothing. He pressed his fingers against the large artery he knew ran down his front and felt nothing. He pressed them to his neck and almost felt something, moved them around until he found the spot at which he could feel his blood pushing against them. He immediately transferred his fingers to the same position on the woman and felt the same thing.

He let out a heavy breath. Relief. At least she wasn’t dead.

But she also wasn’t awake.

“Hello?” he called lightly. “Uh, hello? Are you ok?”

She remained unmoved, but he could barely hear himself over the pounding of his frantic heart; maybe he was too quiet? Maybe merpeople couldn’t make noise outside of the water? He tried again but it elicited no response.

He watched her carefully, listening, training his ears towards her, tuning out the roar of the waves and the squawk of seagulls and the distant sound of voices. He concentrated hard, breathing carefully to slow his own heart, to quiet the thump of it against his ribs and the rush of blood through his veins. There was a wet gurgle as her chest rose and fell, coming from her mouth, but sounding from deep inside. Hoseok knew humans breathed through their mouths, not having gills of their own. So he knew she was breathing.

She was both alive and breathing. He sighed with relief. He could let his worry go and lean into his fascination.

He had never seen a human like this. Close enough to touch—he had touched her. Her hair was the colour of the sun, even wet through; the curls stuck to her skin and Hoseok dared to reach out and brush them from her face. As he took his hand back, he noticed he was shaking. Drops of water on her skin sparkled like gems, glinting in the daylight. The sun was hot—far hotter than he’d ever felt it in the water—and bright. The heat of it burnt away the water on her skin almost too quickly to notice. Hoseok didn’t think she looked all that different from a mermaid, not really. The legs made a difference, sure; she had no gills in her ribs; the webbing in her fingers was reduced to nothing, each digit separated down to the palm. But really, what difference did those things make?

He thought her a wonder. He thought her the most beautiful, fascinating thing he’d ever seen. Her rosebud mouth, lips open and plump. Her skin was smooth and dark; he looked stark next to her. Her torso was whole, one expanse of skin stretching around her back and ribs. Hoseok placed a hand to his gills, fingers playing along the edge; they were flapping uselessly in the dry air. He smoothed them down with his hand, imagined his torso like hers, uninterrupted.

He lay with his tail next to her legs. He tried to picture it split in two, tried to picture himself walking on two feet, upright. He wasn’t the longest merman, but how did that compare to humans? The woman by his side seemed long—were all other humans, too? He figured he would probably never know and the rarity of this moment, the precarity of it, dented his enthusiasm a little. But, he reminded himself, for the rest of his life, he would have this. This human woman, lying next to him, seen by him, touched by him. He wondered how many other merpeople had done that.

He’d heard the horror stories, of course, the kind that teachers tell students to scare them away from the surface. He had never believed them, not entirely. There were bad humans, sure, but there were bad merpeople, too. And looking down at this human, this woman, he knew she was good. He felt a fluttering in his chest that made his breathing hitch. Made him feel almost breathless.

He wished she would wake up and see him. That wasn’t allowed, of course. It was absolutely forbidden to make your presence as a merman known to anyone who lived on the surface. But, who had to know? Just this once. Just this once, Hoseok could have his dream come true, couldn’t he?

She blinked once, then twice, and rolled over to cough and splutter, and he panicked. The tranquillity of the moment was gone. He heard the sound of seawater hitting stone as she choked and it spilt from her lips. He didn’t know what that meant. He watched her back heave as she coughed and was gripped by an intense fear. He wasn’t bad; he didn’t break the rules; he didn’t have the stomach for it.

He was diving in the water before she had rolled back, before she had a chance to see him or even notice him. He had disappeared before he’d even made the decision to disappear. Maybe that was close enough. So much for his wishes to be seen. He just wasn’t brave enough.

Back in the water, he shuddered and realised he could breathe again. With his heart rate finally slowing, he swam towards home, his mind pre-occupied with daydreams about coming back to this shore, seeing more humans, learning some more; pre-occupied with the panic and relief and adrenalin of his last ten minutes.

Pre-occupied as he was, he didn’t see that his movements were being tracked. He didn’t see a royal aide, following at a distance, and then moving off towards the royal chambers when they made it back to court.

He didn’t see you either, though you could see him.

* * *

His mother came to see him the following day.

“Hoseok,” she began, in the quiet, stern voice that had always scared him as a child. “Do you think your father and I are stupid?”

He blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that and couldn’t see the reason behind it. That worried him. He was walking into a trap.

“No, of course not,” he answered, honestly.

“Then it will not surprise you if I say that we do know where it is you go in these waters.”

His blood turned to ice.

“We are all very well aware of your... interest in the surface. In humans and all their detritus.”

He opened his mouth to argue back but the expression on his mother’s face stopped him.

“We know you hunt out shipwrecks and follow boats along trade routes, searching the carcasses of their vessels for rubbish, hoping and waiting they might drop something valuable. We know how close you have got, Hoseok, to exposing yourself to the humans.”

He gulped. He knew he was in trouble. Probably a lot of trouble. He didn’t know what his punishment would be.

“We are not going to permit this any longer.”

That rankled. He was almost 21. An adult in any world. Permission? He found his voice.

“I wasn’t aware I needed permission to go anywhere.”

“You’re a prince, Hoseok, of course you need permission. And you no longer have it. So Sebastien will accompany you through your days for the time being, to ensure you do not go where you should not.”

“For the time being? How long is that exactly?”

His mother looked at him, impassive.

“For as long as your father and I tell him to.”

Then she swam away without bothering to say goodbye. Hoseok didn’t have any time to react before Sebastien was by his side.

“Good morning, my prince.”

Hoseok bit back a spiky retort and swam away, with Sebastien following at his fins. His mother couldn’t be serious. He was being chaperoned? It was an indignity. It was infantilising. It was entirely unnecessary. He flexed his hands into fists and out again, balling and stretching as he swam, as he carried on in his head the argument he wished he could have had with his mother. This would not do.

As he realised where he was swimming—with his new bodyguard—he stopped suddenly. He had been inadvertently leading Sebastien to his happy place, his treasure trove, the place where he kept all the so-called ‘human detritus’ he saved. He was sure his parents didn’t know about that and he didn’t want them finding out.

He swam away, ignoring Sebastien chatting idly at his side, and wondered just exactly what his parents knew. Had they seen him save that human woman? Had they seen how close he had come to being discovered? Is that what this was all about?

* * *

Hoseok looked miserable. Oh, he was smiling, and you were sure he was saying all the right things. But you knew. He was not enjoying his birthday party. There was nothing dazzling in his smile, no halo of light around his head. His laughter rang out, hollow and pitchy, not at all like the tumbling bells it usually was.

No, the prince was miserable. You were sure of it. You had noticed that he had been followed—was being followed—by one of the court’s highest-ranking aides; you saw him behind the prince at every turn, like a shadow, like a ghost. Maybe that was the problem.

You had been close as children, you and the prince, for a time. In that period when you were free, when society meant nothing to you, when prejudices and family feuds still hovered above your heads, out of reach. You had been friends and you felt it then, too, his brightness, his warmth. He didn’t care that the adults treated your family poorly; he did care that they treated you poorly. He didn’t know or care about what the adults said; neither did you. You were friends, the two of you, thick as thieves.

Then one day, all that hovered above you came tumbling down, pouring over you both like ice-water. It became more difficult then, to spend time together, to be friends. He never outright said it, broke up with you in a friend kind of way. You just ‘drifted apart’ because he was welcomed in where you were shunned; he was celebrated and everyone did their best to forget you ever existed.

You should have expected it. He was the prince, after all. And you were a sea witch. People said you were evil; the rumour had it that your whole family was. Matriarchal, and that was just the first problem. You had power. Your mother had had it. Your aunt. Their mother. The way you were told, it went back right to the very beginning. You were the latest in a very long line of very powerful witches.

It took you a long time to understand why that was used against you. You had power. Wasn’t that a good thing? You could do magic. You could achieve things no one else could. You could have made the entire sea a better place for everyone and everything living in it. But no one wanted your input; no one wanted to listen, to hear you. They wanted you to stay quiet. They wanted you to hide.

What boiled your blood was that you did. You stayed at the back, hid yourself away in a cave far from where the royal court lived: merpeople in coral towers and you, tangled in seaweed every time you so much as shook your head. You were older now and you knew full-well why they did it.

They were scared of you. They had always been scared of your family, but now, since the ‘tragic’ death of your mother, they were scared of you. Because you had a score to settle. Because you had a reason to hate them. You had vengeance on your mind.

Vengeance and Prince Hoseok.

Because no matter how much you hated it, no matter how much you didn’t want to want him, you did. You looked at him and your chest hurt with longing and your stomach roiled with hatred. How could it be that you could feel two things at once for the same person? You chose not to examine it these days. It had gone on too long and you were used to it. It felt like your natural state of being: hatred and love in equal measure. Fear and power.

No one had ever tested you. Not really. People came to you for silly little things like love potions and spells to make them smarter or charms to ward off hermit crabs from their gardens. No one wanted to see the full extent of your abilities. So you didn’t quite know what they were.

You toiled, testing yourself on little creatures, to see what you could do to them, how much you could transform them, how creative you could get. There had been a lot of failures at first, of course. So many. But then you started to succeed. And now you never failed. Everything you turned your hand to worked. Your mother had always said you were a natural and now you believed it, too.

You thought you could turn yourself into one of them if you wanted. Not that you did want. Never. Ever. You wouldn’t debase yourself, wouldn’t shame your ancestors with an attempt. But you could do it. That much you were confident of.

You were also confident of just how well you knew the prince. Better than he knew, you were sure. He probably didn’t realise quite what an open book he was to you. It was an open secret that he had a thing for life on the surface, but you saw so much more than that. He had never been able to hide from you: his enthusiasm, his wonder, his furtive glances around himself, the swift flick of his tail as he snuck between two large boulders, the fluidity and flexibility of his body the only things enabling him to sneak through. His little collection. Though ‘little’ wasn’t really the word for it, not anymore.

You had been to see it just once before. It was almost enough to impress you. His discoveries, his treasures, were displayed with such care, it almost touched you. These things, this tat, that he had found floating on the surface or buried in the seabed, he loved them. He treated them like something precious, not like the trash it so clearly was to the humans. It made your heart ache a little: his naivety, his innocence, his propensity for flights of fancy, his dreamy insistence on seeing the good in things, in people. In humans.

It was an open secret, this obsession of Hoseok’s, but it concerned his parents. Sure, he was only the youngest of seven sons—he wasn’t the heir—but he was still a prince. That made him valuable and important. It also meant he had to keep up appearances and it simply would not do to have a Prince of the Royal Court enamoured with... up there. So they had instructed one of their aides (a creeping, odious merman whom you avoided like the plague) to follow Hoseok around, to make sure he wasn’t getting himself into trouble.

Yes, you nodded to yourself, that was exactly what had happened.

*

Hoseok was getting sick of being followed around. It wasn’t even just that he couldn’t go to the surface; he couldn’t get a single minute of peace! Sebastien was always there and it was starting to grate quite uncomfortably.

He wasn’t enjoying the party and he was getting tired of pretending to enjoy it, so after taking a quick scan of the room, he turned tail and left. Sebastien followed, but Hoseok chose to ignore him.

“Leaving a party early?” you said lightly, as you caught him leaving the room. “Leaving your own party early? That’s not like you.”

His smile was a little tight when he flashed it your way.

“It’s only my party by technicality. No one will miss me.”

You merely raised your eyebrows slightly and raised one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.

“I notice that you are also leaving,” he countered.

“Ah, once the host leaves, everyone else is free to go.”

His brow wrinkled a little and he scoffed.

“Don’t call me the host.”

“Careful,” you joked, “Sebastien here might tell your parents you’re being ungrateful. Look at all this opulence they prepared for you.”

He was about to spit something not entirely kind back at you before he realised that you were taking the piss. He rolled his eyes inwardly at himself. Of course you didn’t care. You never went in for this stuff anyway. He was surprised you had even shown up.

“I am being ungrateful. I would like them to stop looking out for me, stop doing things for me, stop-” he said, coming to such a sudden halt that Sebastien crashed into the back of him, “having me chaperoned like a child just because I like to swim a little farther than others.”

“I’m not sure it’s the distance they’re worried about.”

“Whatever. They just don’t get it. They think it’s dangerous.”

“What is?”

“The surface. Humanity. They think my collecting scraps from the seabed is somehow going to threaten all undersea life, trigger an apocalypse or something.”

“Ah.”

“They just don’t get it. They don’t get it. It’s not like I’m going to go up there and act like I’m human-”

“No? You could.”

He scoffed.

“Oh yeah, just go and flop around on the beach with my tail and my gills and everything. Great idea.”

“... You know I’m a fucking witch, right? I literally have the technology.”

Hoseok stopped suddenly again, looking at you, a little aghast, a little trepidatious. Then he laughed.

“Yeah, sure, one human coming right up!”

You laughed along with him, letting the subject drop, letting it be a joke. It had to be a joke with Sebastien listening in. But you were serious and you needed Hoseok to understand that you could do it. If he asked.

* * *

You thought about it more in the following days, as you watched the prince and his tormentor float around in the water. Hoseok couldn’t even blink without Sebastien there to watch him. You could feel his frustration, his impatience; you could see the dullness diminishing his shine; you could see the time it took for his lips to stretch into his signature heart-shaped smile expand—sometimes they barely made it at all. Was it the annoyance and inconvenience of having a chaperone in itself, or was he pining for a little adventure? Itching for a treasure hunt, fingers twitching to dig through sand and find something broken and useless to take back to his cave of wonders?

The whole sea knew. The prince was being monitored. The prince was being kept on a lead. A short one. There were whispers and gossip and speculation. The worst of these rumours was the one that told you his parents were doing this to get him ready for marriage. That he had been betrothed to a princess in the Caspian sea since before he had even existed and now they had both come of age, the marriage negotiations could begin in earnest.

That would not do. You could not have that.

Your own fingers were twitching; you were as frustrated as the prince, trying to work out a way to expedite this whole thing, to get things moving.

Someone’s hand would have to be forced, you realised. But whose? And to do what?

*

It hit you, quite suddenly, as you were drifting off to sleep one night. You had been picturing Hoseok amongst all his ‘objet d’art’: his happy face, his preening and polishing, his voice ringing out in a sweet, little tune—the one you liked to catch in your shells and store for later. It was obvious.

With each day that passed, the prince’s frustration grew. As did his misery and his little, daydreamy desires to experience life on the surface. With each day that passed, his parents were obliviously telling themselves that Hoseok was forgetting about it. He was integrating better with his peers, no longer always off on his own adventure; he was finally getting over this little ‘phase’.

It, actually, you thought to yourself as you caught the fleeting idea with a snatched hand, would work out quite nicely after all. You just had to be careful about tipping the scale.

*

Sebastien wasn’t stupid (you couldn’t get to his position if you were), but he wasn’t exactly sharp. You engaged him in a little idle chat while the prince was dining with his family. Commented on the prince’s interest in life ex-marina. Sebastien had responded a little too eagerly, sharing a little too much (not that he knew he was doing it—not sharp) so it was very easy for you to drop in that you had noticed the prince hadn’t been visiting his little shrine much recently. Sebastien played off his reaction so terribly that, even had you not been so perspicacious, it would have been clear he was bluffing, that you knew far more than he did and he was embarrassed by it. You shrugged, as if the conversation meant nothing to you, and glided away, certain that the seed had been planted.

All you had to do now was wait for it to sprout.

*

It took even less time than you expected. The sea over the next couple of days was a flurry of anxious activity. No official word had gone out, but something was happening and everyone knew it. Aides were everywhere, in every corner, under every rock, in every reef. The king and queen had an awful lot of staff at their disposal, so it wasn’t long before one of them turned up something very interesting indeed.

It was even quicker that the King stormed down to the prince’s little cave of wonders to give Hoseok what for.

You hung back and watched. Watched Hoseok’s face as it moved from dismay to anger, to fury. You had never heard him angry like that. It was thrilling. It was exciting. It was, you hated to admit it, sexy. He swam forward and you heard him confront his parents, heard his outrage.

But how his father roared. How he hovered above Hoseok, his youngest child, with a face like thunder. How his shouting rippled through the water, carrying it farther than you were sure he’d have wanted.

Hoseok put up a good fight, but he had no power. He wasn’t the heir; he had no leverage, not really. So, his father took his trident and destroyed everything. Even the very cave itself. It was rubble by the time he turned his back on his son and swam away. It was sand. Hoseok was left staring at what used to be his most prized possessions, his secret joy.

It almost hurt when you saw his face, his distress and despair. You watched him sink to the seabed and sob, then you turned around and swam away. You didn’t want to watch that. You didn’t need to. You just had to hope that it worked like you intended.

You slunk back to your cave—your presence having never been noticed—and waited for the prince to come to you.

*

Hoseok knew they were just things. He knew they were things most people would consider rubbish, garbage, trash, waste. But they weren’t rubbish to him. They were prizes. They were trophies. They were secrets. They were hints of another life, another way of living. They were like the key to a code. If he collected enough, maybe he would understand what life on the surface was like. Maybe once he had enough human things, he would be able to experience Personhood by proxy.

He had always known he would never go there. Could never go there. It just wasn’t done. Not even for a prince. Especially not for a prince. But his parents couldn’t order him to stop dreaming. So he dreamt and he collected and he treasured. He knew no one approved of what they called his ‘obsession’ with the surface. He didn’t care. They didn’t understand. They didn’t see what he could. They were so entrenched in their own, bigoted ideas that they couldn’t open their minds for a second to the possibility that maybe humans weren’t so bad. Maybe they had their problems, but they also had their wonders.

Even outside of his personal curiosity, he had always thought that some sort of treaty with the humans would be advantageous. They were lucky, in his sea, that the water was kept mostly clear, that oil spills only reached them as news. Their unfavourable interactions with humans were limited, but Hoseok knew that wasn’t the case elsewhere. He thought, if they could communicate with them, that maybe agreements could be reached. A relationship with the world on the surface could be mutually beneficial.

No one else saw it that way.

He sat on the sand and wept, cried, sobbed, for his secret little things that were no more. No longer secret and no longer there. He scooped up fragments of them in his hand and let them drift back down. He sifted through rocks and pebbles and sand to see if anything had been left intact, if anything was salvageable. But his father was thorough. And powerful. And there was nothing left.

* * *

The flurry of activity stopped and was replaced by an awkward tension. No one had seen the prince since the argument with the king. No one dared approach either king or queen, not even the other princes. People moved so slowly through the water, as if they were scared to cause too much of a ripple. The rhythm of everything had been upset.

For no one more than the prince. He lay on the sand next to what used to be his happy place for hours, until the sea grew dark and he should have been back at home with his family. The very thought made him sick. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t. The thought of seeing his parents again made bile rise in his throat. His blood boiled with an anguished kind of anger he had never experienced before.

Once he had stopped crying, he spent some time staring around in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that all his things were gone, but he also couldn’t believe that his father had done it. The royal family was a Happy Family, officially, but they were also usually happy in actual fact. Arguments were few. Discord uncommon. There had been little cause for friction amongst them in his life. He wasn’t used to this. He and his brothers fought as kids, but never seriously; no one ever tried to rebel in any meaningful kind of way. It was a peaceful kingdom and that peace started at the very top.

Or so it had been. Even that had been destroyed now. Peace was the very last thing on the prince’s mind. He was torn between his anger and his despair. He wanted to hurt his father, very badly. He wanted to show his father that he wouldn’t let this stop him, that not even the King could break him. He knew he was right about humans, about humanity. He would show him. He also wanted, with a kind of frenzied desperation, to set off over the oceans and retrieve a new artefact for each and every one that he’d just lost.

As time passed and the sun disappeared from overhead, his whirring mind, his racing heart, began to slow and a tiny spark of hope burst in him. There was a way, he had realised. Or, he thought there might be a way. There was a possibility. There might be a possibility. If anyone would have the answer, it would be you.

*

He called your name and it roused you from a mid-morning nap. You sauntered to the cave mouth and your face pulled into surprise at the sight of him.

“Prince Hoseok, what are you doing here?”

He looked a little hesitant, peering behind you at the darkness of the cave, wondering what lay back there, if all the rumours were true. He knew you. You had been close at one point. He knew you so this was fine. He could trust you; he knew he could. You weren’t going to hurt him. You weren’t like they said. Well, in one way, he hoped you were; he hoped you were every bit as powerful as people said because, lord knew, he was going to need some powerful magic. Powerful magic the likes of which could topple the royal family, people said. What care did he have for the royal family now?

 But, the evil part... He hoped that wasn’t true. You’d never given him cause to believe so before.

Still, waiting at the entrance to your home (your ‘lair’ as some called it and Hoseok was never sure if they were joking or not), he felt timid. Small. Not like a royal prince, but like a supplicant. Which, really, he supposed, he was.

“I’m here to ask you to do something for me.”

You couldn’t deny your intrigue. You gestured for him to follow you inside.

He did so slowly, his eyes darting around at all your shelves, full of stuff, fuller even than his own treasure trove had been. He couldn’t imagine what might be in all the containers, what secrets or tonics or poisons they might be holding. He had no idea what it was you did, really. You were the Sea Witch and that was bad enough for most people to never ask anything more... Until they needed you, of course. Hoseok had never needed you, not until now, so he had never paid your work much attention. You flew under the radar for the most part, which was entirely by design.

“Ok,” you said, as you perched yourself on a soft bed of anemones that Hoseok didn’t dare touch. “What can I do for you?”

He took a deep breath, a steeling breath.

“I want to be human.”

You pretended to be surprised, but that was exactly what you had been hoping for. Only an idiot would have been surprised by his request, especially given what had just happened.

“Human, huh? Finally pulling the trigger?”

He looked reluctant to say any more. You raised one eyebrow at him and held his gaze. He looked away.

“My parents don’t understand a thing. They don’t know anything about humans. I want to know. I have to know. They-... My parents can’t control me.”

You shrugged and nodded and caught the look of surprise on Hoseok’s face as you turned to gather some ingredients from the other side of the cave. He hadn’t thought it would be that easy.

It wouldn’t be.

You gathered the necessary items and tipped first one, then another, into the large conch you used for mixing spells.

“You... you can do it?” he asked and you chose not to be offended by the question.

“Of course I can.”

“You... will do it?”

“I will.”

The relieved smile on his face could have lit your cave for weeks. His teeth shone and his eyes sparkled as he laughed and clapped his hands. Victory.

“Thank you! I don’t know how I can repay you.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, sunshine. There are conditions to all this, you know.”

His face settled back into seriousness, his brow knitting above his eyes. He nodded fervently.

“Yes, of course. I understand. What do I need to do?”

You paused, leaning one hand on the edge of your giant shell and looked at him with a firm, fixed stare.

“You get three days,” you told him. “Three days as a human. You’ll be human before lunch, so noon on the third day will see you turning back as you are now.”

“Oh.”

His disappointment was palpable, but that worked to your advantage, too. You forced a light chuckle.

“I’m good, Hoseok, but I’m not that good.”

(You were, in fact, that good, but he didn’t need to know that).

“Of course! Yes, three days. That’s great.”

“There is a way you can stay longer than that, but it’s not in my power.”

“What does that mean?”

You pushed off the ledge and rounded the basin, coming to a stop in front of him. You didn’t miss the two inches that he scooted backwards away from you. At a different time, under different circumstances, this might have offended you, but you had a reputation; you could hardly blame him for his timidity. He had never seen you do anything like this before.

“You have to put down roots.”

“Right... What does that mean?”

“You have to find a human woman and plant a seed.”

Hoseok continued to look at you blankly, until you rolled your eyes.

“Fornicate. Copulate. Mate. Breed. Fuck.”

His eyebrows shot towards his hairline.

“Oh... Within three days?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No!” His answer was too quick and his blushes beetroot. He cleared his throat. “No, it’s fine, but... You said plant a seed. You mean... a child?”

“Mhmm.”

He blinked, his mind reeling. You gave him a second to process.

“How do I guarantee that? It has to be a child? There has to be... it has to...?”

You nodded.

“If you want to stay up there, you need some connection to it. You need a tether. Just how it works.”

“Oh, right...”

He was nodding, but he wasn’t looking at you. You could see his eyes were far away; he was thinking.

He was worrying. Would three days be enough? And bringing a child into this? Could he? Doubt was beginning to creep in at the sides, but he couldn’t let it. He had to see this through. It felt like his only chance. And you’d already said yes. You could do it. He could almost taste it, he was so close. He had to keep going. He could deal with the seed problem later; he could hardly think about putting down roots when he didn’t even have legs to stand on. First things first and the first thing was becoming a human.

“There’s also something else I need from you,” you told him.

“Anything.”

“I just need a little piece of you. In order to make this work, I need a little tether to you.”

“You need to tether to me? But doesn’t that keep me tied here?”

You liked it when they asked questions. You smiled, benignly, but your eyes glinted wickedly.

“It keeps you tethered to me, the one with the magic? The one who’s transforming you? We can skip that step if you like, but then the spell will do absolutely nothing.”

“Oh.”

He blinked and then nodded.

“Ok, makes sense. Yeah, ok, what do you need?”

“Come here.”

You beckoned him to your side and he obeyed quietly. You took his hand in yours and plunged it into the shell; then you placed your other hand on his chest.

“Hold still; this won’t hurt.”

“What are you taking?”

“Just a little bit of soul.”

He flinched and you had to tighten your fingers around his wrist to keep it there.

“Relax, you won’t even notice it missing. And keep still, I need to concentrate.”

You closed your eyes and tapped lightly on his chest with your fingers, looking for a tap. Once you found the spot, you dug your finger in a little harder, focused hard and turned it on. You channelled it through Hoseok’s arm and tipped it into the shell through his fingers.

You were right: it didn’t hurt. He felt a weird pulling sensation in his chest and then it dragged down his arm; it was a little uncomfortable, certainly something he’d never felt before, but it didn’t hurt exactly. He wanted to look and see what his soul looked like, pouring out, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes.

His soul was sweet like nectar and it shimmered as it settled atop the other ingredients. You could feel its pulse, strong in Hoseok’s heart, its rhythm airy and delicate with a stable bass. You liked it. You liked it a lot. You could feel your own shimmer in response to it; you could feel your heart flutter when you let a little of him inside it. You bit your lip to stop a smile. Once you had what you needed for the spell, you siphoned off just a little extra for yourself. Nothing he would notice – you were always careful about that.

You held him there a minute longer, just absorbing, marinating a little. Sometimes this was the worst part of the job. Some people’s souls were vile, horrid, dark, acrid, smoking things; the taste they left in your mouth wouldn’t shift for days. This, though, was delectable. If you’d had another plan in mind, you might have taken more, maybe even all of it; you weren’t sure how you managed to stop yourself.

You shouldn’t have been surprised by its sweetness. It was Hoseok. He was like that. Of course his soul would be pure as sunlight itself. It was the lightest soul you’d ever held. Almost light enough to make you feel bad for doing all this.

Almost.

“Ok,” you began, letting him go and creating a little more space between you. “We’re done.”

Hoseok opened his eyes and looked down at his tail.

“We are?”

You laughed, not unkindly.

“Yes. You might want to start swimming while I finish this off. Surface is a long way up from here.”

“Oh. But... it’ll work? I’ll be...-”

“It’ll work. Trust me. And take this.”

You thrust a little package, wrapped in fisherman’s netting, into his hands.

“Now go on. Get.”

He nodded, first a little uncertainly, but, as if he was convincing himself, each bob of his head grew surer until he was turning around and swimming straight out of your cave and up, up, up.

You gave everything in the shell a swirl, a mix, let it coalesce, then you placed your hands on the bottom and forced heat through them, so much heat that the concoction boiled, the sea water steaming around you. It bubbled and it boiled until there was nothing left in the shell but a pearl. You picked up this pearl and placed it into a clam. You shut the clam over a cord and tied it around your neck. You were going to want to keep this one close.

*

Hoseok was swimming so hard he barely noticed it at first. Then his tail was tingling. Then it began to hurt. Hurt enough to slow him down, to almost stop him completely. It was a wrenching, tearing, searing kind of pain that made him cry out, that made dark spots dance in front of his eyes and his head feel light. He couldn’t quite tell if his tail was moving or not; there was blinding pain and very little else, but he knew he was getting close to the surface. He couldn’t stop now.

In the space of three kicks, his tail became two, and Hoseok was overwhelmed by the agony of saltwater in his wounds. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t look, couldn’t do anything but try not to die. Try not to drown. He kept kicking, kept pulling with his arms, but his fingers were no longer webbed and they didn’t grab the water like before.

Swimming as a human, it turned out, was every bit as inefficient as it looked. He tried to move his legs in tandem, to kick and flick like he did with his tail but they wouldn’t cooperate; they couldn’t bend like his tail could, didn’t have the flexibility. Every movement sent a fresh surge of pain racing through him and he was finding it hard to breathe through it.

And then he stopped being able to breathe at all. He clutched at his ribs with one hand, expecting to feel his gills, but there was nothing. He opened his mouth to gasp and his throat was full of salt water in a way that felt wrong, uncomfortable, painful. In a way that made him panic. His lungs were burning, his throat was burning, his legs were burning; everything, everything, felt like it was on fire.

His heart was humming, beating so fast it vibrated against his ribs. He couldn’t think clearly, coherently, at all. It was all just a screaming panic, shouting and squealing and howling for him to get out, get out, get out of the water.

When he finally broke clear of the sea’s surface, he choked and gasped and coughed up water. It stung in his eyes and the taste of salt was so strong, it made him gag. He looked about himself to find the nearest shore and saw none in sight. He knew where he was; he saw the sea, his underwater kingdom, in his mind and he knew how to find the nearest shore. He just had to get there.

*

He dragged himself out of the waves, spent. There wasn’t a single muscle in his body that wasn’t crying out; he had never found swimming difficult before. It had always been as easy as breathing, but that, too, was difficult as a human. He swallowed seawater that made him sick, accidentally breathed it in and choked, found his breathing growing laboured and heavy when he was still miles from shore.

He lay on the shingle beach for a while, waiting to feel something other than pain. Pain and heaviness. Every movement was an effort. Every movement took active thought, especially his legs. He pushed himself into a sitting position and turned his attention to the package you gave him. He unwrapped it and unfolded fabrics—soaked through, of course. Hoseok had seen people wear clothes in books before but he’d never seen any in real life. He wondered where on earth you got them from. He briefly wondered if he wanted to know.

And despite everything: the pain, the exhaustion, the fear, the dread that was starting to settle in his stomach as the adrenalin faded, Hoseok was excited. He had human garments in his hands. They were his and he was about to wear them. He was human.

Human.

*

The awe and wonder didn’t last long. The friction of the fabric against his skin was almost unbearable. Was his skin sensitive or were the fabrics rough? He couldn’t tell but he could feel each tiny swish, each brush against him as he moved, with every swing of his arm and every step of his feet. It felt like the top layer of his skin was being slowly rubbed away, his soft, supple skin becoming red and raw and oh so sensitive.

The steps hurt, too. The shingle under his feet felt almost pleasant compared to the torching pain he felt in his legs. Like they were being cut open every time, like he was splitting his tail over and over and over again, the torture wouldn’t end.

He felt so heavy. Leaden. Like he barely had the energy to lift his feet at all. He put this down to the swim, the physical trauma, the lack of sleep he’d had that night. But he’d never felt the weight of his body so heavily before. In the water, he floated. The water kept him buoyed; the water supported him, carried him; he moved through it like he weighed nothing at all. On land, he felt no support. On the contrary, he felt as if the air itself were pushing him down, keeping him stuck to the ground, as if it didn’t want him to move anywhere.

It wasn’t at all like he had expected. He wished you had warned him about the pain. He wished he had known a little more before walking into this – literally walking! He was walking! On two feet! It was agony.

Trying to keep his head straight, he knew the first thing he should do was find food. He’d swum so far, he needed something. His stomach was gurgling in an angry, acidic roil that made him feel faint (or maybe that was the pain or the exertion or the atmosphere or or or). He was lucky that this beach was narrow and the town close. The shingle quickly gave way to grass, which was only slightly soothing on Hoseok’s feet, and then the grass gave way to paving.

He followed the path in the only direction it went and it wasn’t long before he found people. Humans. So many of them. He stood, stock still, watching them. It was overwhelming. The sights and sounds and smells of them. There was food grilling, and children laughing, and market hawkers soliciting, and Hoseok had no idea which way to turn. He could barely think at all. He needed-

He didn’t know what. A rest. A break. To sit down? He walked to the nearest chair – a metal frame with metal seat, next to a metal table – and sat; the chair scraped backwards slightly and the scratch of it on the ground brought a man out from the cafe the chair was sitting in front of.

“Hey, you can’t sit there!” the man called, looking none too happy. “Customers only! Those chairs are for customers only!”

“Oh, oh ok,” Hoseok spluttered. “I can be a customer. I can buy, uh-”

“No! We’re not open yet! No service!”

Hoseok thought then that it should be fine for him to sit down if they weren’t open, if there were no customers yet, but the man continued to shout, to shoo him off, so Hoseok stood and moved away. He would just have to try again a little further down the road.

That cafe might not have been open, but there were market stalls with edible wares already cooked and out for consumption. He took a skewer proffered by a weathered old lady and ate it gratefully, even though it was dry and hard to chew. She then held her hand out expectantly and it was at that moment, Hoseok realised he had nothing to trade. What could he offer? He considered the neat, net package that you had provided his clothes in and brought it out of his pocket. He tried to hand it over but the woman started cursing at him in a language he didn’t understand. He backed away from her aggression and this was clearly the wrong move. She grabbed a large metal spoon and came around the side of her table, raising it above her head.

Hoseok ran. He hadn’t known he could run. Would have claimed not to be able to if you’d asked him to at that moment, but the panic set him going and his feet stomped, painful step after painful step, until he was, once more, breathing heavy and laboured, a sharp pain between his ribs stabbing him with every inhale.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

*

He eventually sat at the side of the road, wondering how he was supposed to navigate this world he clearly knew nothing about. He had been arrogant in the sea. He thought he knew everything there was to know about humans. He had learnt about their culture, he thought; he had studied their ways of life, he thought. It was nothing compared to the real experience of being here. Nothing was how he expected. He was woefully unprepared.

Tears pricked in his eyes and he tried to keep them at bay because he had wanted this. He had asked for it. And you had done it for him. Hoseok realised with a shock just exactly what position this had put you in. The prince was nowhere to be found. He hadn’t told anyone what he was doing. The only person who knew was you. If they found that out, lord knew what kind of trouble you’d be in. They’d have your head if they thought you had brought him to any harm.

But you’d been willing. Supportive even. So he had to make this work. He had to make it worth it. For him. For you. He would make it work and he would return to the sea to explain everything: to show what he had achieved on the surface, to prove to everyone that humans weren’t like they all said. To prove that you had been the truest, kindest and most loyal friend he had. That you had given him all of it. That you weren’t like they all said, either.

He blew out a deep breath. There was a lot riding on this.

He knew he would eventually need somewhere to sleep, somewhere safe. He walked back towards the centre of the market and found a nice-looking woman selling necklaces.

“Excuse me,” he began, warily. “I need somewhere to stay.”

Her friendly smile faltered a little, frozen on her face as she tried to parse his words.

“Ok?” she finally returned.

“Can you tell me where I can... Is there somewhere I can sleep?”

“Uh,” she said, her face twisting into a kind of confusion that Hoseok felt he was being judged by. “I mean, you can get a hotel or something?”

“Ok, where do I get one?”

The woman looked around her, to see if anyone else was really hearing this. She shrugged.

“There are kind of a lot around. Take your pick. There’s one right there.”

She pointed over Hoseok’s shoulder at a white, stone building, and Hoseok’s smile was all the bigger for the relief he felt.

“Thank you!” he called, already making his way towards the hotel.

But things continued to be difficult. He didn’t have a ‘credit card’ for the hotel staff to ‘hold’. He didn’t know what that meant. They told him he couldn’t have a room if he had no method of payment. He tried to offer something else; he was a good swimmer, he said; he could dive for pearls? The two staff behind the reception desk gave each other the same look the woman on the stall had given him. They explained that they only took cash or credit. He didn’t have either of those two things.

He left the building and sat by the road, because there was nothing else he could do.

He tried so hard not to let doubt creep in, not to feel despair, not to start desperately wishing he had thought about this a little longer. He tried to remember things he’d learnt about the human world – things that would help him. But it was already so different here from what he had expected.

The stories he had grown up hearing about human interactions with his kind were awful; humans were brutal and cruel and hunted merpeople for sport. That kind of thing. But he thought they were kind to each other. They had a society. They governed each other: elected officials who were entrusted with their cities and countries. They made art and sang songs and raised animals whom they kept for companionship, rather than labour. Humans were resilient and tough and brave, social creatures. They came together in crisis and performed heroic feats to help others out of danger. Those were the humans he had imagined.

The ones he had experienced so far were not like that at all. Maybe they knew, he thought; maybe they could tell already somehow that he wasn’t one of them. He was different. He hadn’t even been a human for a day yet. Maybe he was doing things wrong. He was sure he wasn’t walking right—the pain made it impossible. He had shown up from the beach in clothes that had barely dried, were caked in salt. His hair was stiff and tangled with it, too. His face felt tight and rough. Maybe they were right to mistrust him.

But how could he fix it? What could he do?

He couldn’t stay there, sitting on the ground. People walking past were looking at him; it made him nervous. No one had been able to show him any generosity or kindness and the darkness of night was starting to cover everything. There were artificial lights hanging from every door, a warm glow from every window that served only to bathe the shadows in a dim, greyish light. Nothing was black, as it was in the deep ocean, but it was all muted, hard to make out, indeterminate. Scarier.

He had to get out of sight. He had to find somewhere safe that he could stay for the night. That was the most important thing.

As hot as it had been when he first arrived on the surface, he could feel the chill now. There was something naked about being out in the air, with no water surrounding him, enveloping him. Even through the fabric of his clothes (which still scored his skin with every movement), he felt the air move, felt it stiffen his skin and raise the downy hairs there. He needed shelter. He needed to be far away from people, for now. He needed to be sure that, if what the merpeople said was true, he would not come to harm this night.

It was with a heavy, sinking heart that he made his way back to the beach. He fell upon the shingle and didn’t even have the energy to cry out, to sob like he wanted to. He had never experienced pain or exhaustion like this. He had never felt so out of place—not just in this world, but in this body. Did all humans feel like this? Heavy and sore and stiff, with the world pushing down on you? His legs were still screaming; they were as unblemished and unmarked as they had been when he’d first checked them twelve hours ago, but the pain was so convincing, he thought he would look down and see his tail, mutilated, bloody, split in two just like he’d asked. 

He made his way very slowly, very carefully, to the end of the beach and the edge of the shore. With the cliffside to his right, there was protection from wind, at least, and it was deserted of people. He shuffled forward and sat with his legs straight out, letting the waves wash over his feet.

That was when he cried. He cried with abandon, without thought, without hope, with an aching, broken heart. He couldn’t quite believe that it was happening this way, that all of his dreams were crumbling in front of his eyes. He wouldn’t believe it; there was good in this world and he was determined to find it, but he had never felt so out of his depth. He had no idea what to do. He had no one, nowhere, nothing.

He looked at the waves as they splashed over his feet (feet!) and he imagined sinking into them, imagined them encroaching further and further onto the shore until he was swallowed up by them, swimming, drowning. Could he drown? He was human now and humans could drown, but he was really a mermaid... Would the magic revert? He remembered what you had said about keeping a tether to him; would you know if he were drowning? Could you see him now, pathetic and weeping?

You could. With his pearl at the bottom of your basin, you could conjure up his image and watch his drama play out in the rippling water.

But the sight didn’t bring you much joy. You worried that you had overestimated him, overestimated the humans. You had spent time on the surface but it was still a foreign world; you didn’t know everything. Maybe you should have prepared him a little more, lent him a little of your human currency. You had expected his grace and charm to carry him at least through the first night but he was a different person now. Well, he was a person, not a merman anymore. He was literally out of his element. A fish out of water.

You chuckled to yourself at that one. Then you frowned and rested your chin on your palm, pondering ways that you could make this work if he couldn’t do it on his own. You fingered the clamshell on your necklace and an idea started to form.

It could work. It wasn’t how you had envisaged this whole thing going but... It could work.

With a sigh, you placed the pearl safely back in its clam and floated off to your inventory: a powder there, some shellfish here, gathering together everything needed for yet another expensive spell.

If you need something doing, you thought to yourself ruefully, you’ve got to do it yourself.

* * *

Hoseok was starting to shiver on the shore—something that he had never experienced before and something he would be quite happy to not experience again. The way his muscles trembled and his skin hurt, still raw from the fabric, but bumpy now with goosebumps that made the friction all the worse. He took his feet out of the water and asked himself forlornly what on earth he should do, but he had no answer.

He scanned the horizon out to sea and saw nothing but washed-out darkness looking back at him. He scanned the beach and the land and his attention was caught by a light, wobbling in the darkness and growing larger. It was only when the person holding the lantern stepped foot on the beach that he could see there was a person behind it at all. If he had been less tired, less sad, less hungry, he might have worried, or he might have rallied and put his best foot (foot!) forward, or he might have hidden. But he could do none of those things. He sat and watched a young woman approach.

“Goodness, are you alright?” she asked, when he was close enough to see her form but not her face.

She wore the same thin shoes that a lot of people in the town had been wearing, barely covering her feet, and long, flowing fabric danced on the shingle above them. He could just about make out her light hair and her petite height, but the rest of her remained a mystery.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Hoseok replied, knowing that he was lying but not knowing if she would see that.

“Are you sure?” she queried. “It’s not safe to be out on the beach alone at night like this. I saw you sitting here and I thought you might be in trouble.”

A glimmer of hope flicked in Hoseok’s heart. Could it finally be: a human who was like he had always dreamt humans would be? Kind? Generous? Could he tell her? Could he share his woes? Would she ease his mind? Was this what he had been waiting for?

He decided he had no choice because his only other options were to drown in the sea or starve on this beach.

“I am in trouble,” he began. “I have nowhere to stay, no food, no money. I have nothing. I don’t know what to do.”

He tried to stop his voice cracking, but it cracked of its own volition. He didn’t want to be pitied; he just needed to be helped. But beggars can’t be choosers, he reminded himself.

“None at all?”

You took a couple of steps towards him, still not close enough that he could see your features clearly, but enough to suggest trust, to suggest comfort.

He shook his head in return.

“You should come with me.”

You could see the surprise on his face, the hope that lit it, the worry that creased his brow.

“Just for tonight,” you continued. “I can give you a bed so you can rest. You really shouldn’t stay out here all night.”

Hoseok rose to his feet, biting hard on his bottom lip to stop himself crying out as the pain surged once more.

“It’s not far,” you said, before turning back the way you had come.

Hoseok followed your lantern, back up the beach, down the path, and into the town. You led him into a narrow alley with a single door at the end. It was this door that you opened with a quiet creak, then you led him inside and up a single flight of steps.

“It’s not much,” you said, attempting to sound somewhat apologetic as you opened the door to the apartment.

It was sparsely decorated and the linens were grey in a way that suggested they hadn’t always been. The lightbulb in the ceiling was naked and dim. The plant on the windowsill looked crisp and parched.

You lived comfortably underwater, despite your status as social pariah, because people wanted your little potions and spells and you could charge through the nose for them. On land, it was more difficult. Humans weren’t interested in trading for things; they wanted cash and nothing but. That made it more difficult to be comfortable here. But you had shelter and food and that was more than the prince had.

Hoseok was nervous. He hadn’t known what to expect but somehow, this wasn’t it. He had heard of the way humans warred with one another, the way they oppressed and exploited other classes, the way most of them starved whilst the few indulged. This was so much more mundane. Nondescript. Boring. Homely.

He took a look at the woman now that he could see her properly in the cold light of the apartment. She was beautiful. Not unlike the woman he had rescued from the beach, he realised. Dark skin that somehow shimmered, golden hair that almost looked like a halo with the way it reflected light. Her eyes were dark, too, deep and rich and warm. She felt familiar to him, somehow, but he couldn’t pinpoint why. He knew she wasn’t the same woman from the beach, not quite, but there was something about her that he felt he knew, had seen before. It comforted him, quieted his nerves a little.

“I don’t have much to offer,” you interrupted his thoughts with a shy chuckle. “But it’s better than sleeping outside.”

“This is wonderful. I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me. It has been a difficult day and you are the first person who’s shown me any kindness. I don’t know how I can repay you for that.”

You giggled and it sounded like chimes.

“You don’t have to repay me. Pay it forward; if you help someone like I’m helping you, that will be enough.”

Hoseok wondered for a second if he had fallen asleep on the beach and was dreaming this. Because this woman, she was everything he had dreamt; she was what he had been hoping for. The flicker of hope in his chest grew into a flame and he shivered as a warmth rushed through him.

“Would you like something to eat?” you offered and Hoseok jumped at the chance.

You gave him bread and cheese and watched him eat them, at first tentatively, and then with great gusto. Of course, he had never tried these things before, never eaten human food. You placed some fruit on the small coffee table he was eating at and he devoured that, too. His eyes widened as he bit into a pear, ripe and juicy, sticky sweet nectar dribbling down his chin. He hummed with delight and you saw the sparkle return to his eyes.

You knew what you were there to do but you were enjoying this moment. This was the Prince Hoseok you knew; this was how he should be: bright and smiling, his crescent-moon eyes alight with laughter. You sat next to him and picked at some food, too, not really tasting it because the sweetness of the moment was far too strong.

Hoseok only stopped eating when you stopped giving him food, when you only had enough left for a small breakfast in the morning and nothing else. He sat back, resting on his palms, and sighed happily.

“That was the most amazing meal I’ve ever had!” he exclaimed and you laughed.

“You are very easily impressed. There are far more exciting things to eat here; I simply cannot afford them all.”

He shook his head.

“Not at all. That was wonderful. Thank you so much.”

With his stomach finally full, his fatigue hit him full in the face and he yawned widely, a quiet wail escaping his throat.

“You must be exhausted. Please, take the bed. I can sleep on the sofa,” you said, gesturing towards the bed that sat against one wall.

Hoseok thought the bed looked huge and the sofa, small. He thought about what the right thing to do would be. He couldn’t sleep in the bed. It wouldn’t be right, would it? But he was so tired and in so much pain. He looked at the bed longingly, imagining himself stretching out over its surface, letting it take his weight. He imagined it feeling like water, like being carried on the waves, weightless. He looked at the sofa.

“Please,” you repeated. “Take the bed.”

Every manner, every point of order, every etiquette lesson was screaming at him to say no, to refuse, to offer to sleep anywhere but the bed. To not inconvenience you, to not put you out, to not cost you even more than he already had, to not trespass any further onto your kindness. But sleep was calling, louder and more insistent. His wrecked, ravaged body was screaming.

He nodded shyly and offered a quiet thanks before rising and slipping, sore and worn, beneath the sheets. He was asleep before he even had the chance to notice the way the bed fabric, too, brushed rough against his exposed skin.

You watched him. He looked peaceful; his face smoothed of any worries or concerns. He made a fine human, you thought. He was tall and lean and, despite the pain you knew he was suffering, he didn’t let it show: he’d walked straight and held himself high. Royal blood, you assumed.

You wondered how much you would have to engineer this to ensure success. Despite all you knew about the prince (and you knew a lot), this was a blind spot. He had hesitated when you told him of his conditions; the idea of a child had alarmed him. Maybe he would decide he didn’t want to stay human after all.

There were two and a half days left. That was plenty of time, you decided. You wouldn’t push; he was too delicate for that, especially after his first day’s misery. You would cushion his fall, pick him up carefully, and slowly show him both what the human world was really like and what it could be like with you. You would delight him and impress him and he would give himself to you. He would. You were sure of it. He would fall into the world that you would show him and he would give himself to you, body and soul.

You fingered the clamshell still tied around your neck. It held the pearl you created when you turned Hoseok into a human. It now also held the pearl you created when you turned yourself into one.

* * *

The thing about royalty, the thing about the privileged, who’ve never really experienced hardship, for whom doors have always been opened, is that they are resiliently optimistic folk. Everything has always gone their way; naturally, they assume it always will. Even now, after everything that happened to him yesterday, Prince Hoseok was beaming. He was enamoured. He was full of awe and wonder. He was experiencing the human world as he thought it would be.

Because of you.

It was taking a lot out of you, truth be told, because you didn’t have the riches you needed to show him a human experience comparable to his underwater life. He wasn’t a royal here; he wasn’t anyone at all. Doors didn’t open for him and they didn’t open for you. But Hoseok had his charm and you had charms of a very different sort. So you were making it work, but your nerves were rising; with every bit you put in, you told yourself you had better pull this off. You had better seal the deal, make good on this bargain you had made with yourself, see through to the end the promise you swore to your dead mother and her dead mother and all the dead mothers back until time began.

It was your biggest show. It was your hardest work. Your magnum opus.

Or it would be. If—if you could do it.

Hoseok couldn’t let on that this was his first time on the surface; he couldn’t tell you he was really a merman, that a seawitch had transfigured him, that his legs were really a tail. It was too risky, too dangerous. But he kept forgetting that that meant he had to try to hide his enthusiasm, his surprise. Everything here was new to him. Everything here was fascinating and wonderful and intriguing and he could barely contain himself.

He had no backstory. He had no lies to tell. And he hadn’t noticed that you hadn’t asked. But it was dawning on him that, if he were to have a life here, he would have to think of something to tell people about where he came from. But he didn’t have the time, right now, to think of it. There was far too much to attend to. Too much to see, too much to do.

It would have been overwhelming were it not for you. If he’d had to continue doing this alone... well, he wouldn’t have. Couldn’t have. If you hadn’t found him on the beach last night, where would he be? Sinking beneath the waves? Starving on the shore? You had lifted him up and now you were carrying him along, tethering him to the earth, providing him a guiding string to hold. He had never been so grateful for anyone in his life.

Not even the sea witch.

“What do you say?” you asked him, shortly before sunset on that second day.

Hoseok tried to think, but it didn’t really matter to him and he was so overstimulated, he couldn’t have made a decision if he’d wanted to. He shrugged.

“I’m happy to go wherever you like!”

“Hungry yet?”

He shook his head. He had sampled one of everything at the market after lunch and had to spend half an hour sitting quietly so that it wouldn’t make a return journey up his throat. He was still very far from hungry.

That was exactly the answer you were hoping for.

You led him away from town, towards the west where the land rose in a grassy slope, steep and getting steeper, until you reached the top of the cliff. You walked up to the edge and turned to see Hoseok hanging back, looking nervous.

“Scared of heights?”

Hoseok didn’t know. He had never really experienced ‘heights’, wasn’t quite sure what that meant. But the wind was stronger up here and he knew, without having to look, that the sea was a very long way down. It couldn’t be dangerous if you were doing it, he reasoned, but he’d heard too many stories of humans falling to their deaths from cliffs like these – sometimes deliberately, but often not.

You held your hand out to him and his stretched back before he’d even noticed and he inched forward until you could take it and tug him a little further and a little further still. His heart was in his mouth as he craned his neck to peer down into the foaming waves as they crashed and broke against the rock face. You didn’t let go of his hand.

“It’s very high,” he stated unsurely, not knowing if it was really.

It felt high. It looked high to him. But, in a way, everything was high. The sea had depth, not height. It wasn’t the same thing. He might have wagered that it would be, before now, but looking down to the sandy seabed from high above it was very different from looking down at the sea from the cliff edge. Something to do with the environment maybe.

Maybe the fact that he couldn’t fall off the sea and plummet to his death. Maybe that. He’d never been in mortal danger; the sea was a safe place for him and he had all the protection he might have wanted (more than he wanted, actually); he hadn’t really appreciated it until yesterday, when he had nothing and no one.

Now, he had you.

It had occurred to him. The condition of his staying a human. The three days he had to plant a seed. It kept occurring to him. It wouldn’t stop occurring to him. Not when you smiled, not when you showed him yet another wonder, not when you took his hand in your own. He wasn’t sure if he could do it. For a start, he wasn’t completely sure how all that worked with human bodies. For another, he didn’t know if you would want to. He didn’t know what human culture dictated.

You were beautiful. About that, he had no doubt. Was he attracted to you? Yes, he had decided he was. Did he trust you? Yes, as much as he could trust someone he’d just met; as much as he could trust a human. Did you feel the same way? That was a mystery he didn’t know how to solve. You had stretched out your hand to him; you had paid for him to be fed; you had let him sleep in your bed; you had taken him into your home. It suggested something, but he didn’t know what.

Just as it had the day before, his ignorance alarmed him. His recklessness in coming still surprised him. The weight of his deadline pressed down on him and he shuddered, involuntarily.

He looked concerned, you thought, distracted. You could tell he didn’t really like being so high above the sea; you wondered if it were a merman thing or a Hoseok thing. Being neither, you couldn’t know. You took pity on him and led him back down the cliffside, keeping his hand in yours as long as he would let you.

You assumed you would have to lead, that he wouldn’t take charge of the situation—judging by what you had seen so far. You mulled it over as you wandered slowly back into town. He had never really had to work for it, you supposed. He was a prince. And beautiful. And charming. And kind. He had everything going for him, which meant he had the entire sea throwing themselves at his feet, desperate to be picked. He probably didn’t know the first thing about seduction, about attraction—not really, anyway. It struck you then that there was every chance he’d be a really bad lay. There was every chance you would be, having never done it as a human before, but that was besides the point. The idea of Hoseok disappointing you left a sour taste in your mouth but you ignored it; that was not what you were there for. Good or bad didn’t matter. There was one objective and one only. Your own pleasure, your own, secret, little goals were neither here nor there. You had to stay focused.

Because it wasn’t going to be easy. You knew that. That was half the reason you hadn’t planned to do it yourself anyway (or so you told yourself...). It was going to be harder for you than some random stranger. You knew that. It was going to be horrible, you knew, looking into his eyes when he learnt the truth, when he saw you—the real you—for the first time on land. You could picture it: the shock and betrayal, the fear and hurt. It gave you pause. Because you hated him, hated who he was and what he stood for and everything about the systems and society of the place you both lived. But you also loved him, loved his smile and his eyes, his heart and his soul. You wanted him to be yours forever. You wanted him to choose you. He never would. Not really. If he knew you were here, if he knew the human holding his hand was really the sea witch who’d sent him up there, he wouldn’t choose you.

The shocked, betrayed face. The frightened, hurt expression. You sighed heavily, without meaning to.

“Are you ok?” Hoseok asked, his head tilting to the side.

You smiled brightly back at him.

“Of course! Just starting to get a bit peckish. Shall we eat something?”

Hoseok wasn’t really hungry. The market food was still solid in his stomach. But if you wanted to eat, he’d eat. He’d do anything you asked. He owed you everything.

More, in fact, than he knew.

* * *

You’d been distracted through dinner, which had been fine because, without the food to focus on (Hoseok barely ate), he could look around at everything else. He could fire questions at you (questions that were far too revealing—not that he noticed) and comment on his surroundings and commentate with barely any input required. That meant you could contemplate your task. You’d had to rush into this whole thing, take the reins with very little notice at all. This was not how you usually operated.

You were meticulous and organised because you had to be. Always on your guard because you had to be. Everything you did came with its own audit trail because you couldn’t afford to make mistakes. You had seen what that had done to your mother at far too young an age. Not that she actually made the mistake. But when you don’t have the proof of every action you’ve taken and word you’ve said, they can make it look like you did whatever they say you did.

You ate slowly, not really tasting, not really savouring. Your mind was busy, calculating. You had a day and a half left. 36 hours, give or take. There would be another night after this one. You didn’t relish the idea of leaving it until the last minute, but you could spoil the whole thing entirely if you pushed too hard, too fast. So you decided to wait.

*

Hoseok was determined, this time, to do the right thing and let you sleep in your own bed. He was embarrassed at the way he had behaved the night before: how greedily he’d eaten, how quickly he had relegated you to the sofa. It made him cringe. And then you had spent the whole day playing hostess to him: showing him around, paying for everything, keeping him company, and answering his questions.

His debt to you was beyond belief. He knew he should leave. He knew he should make his own way. He knew he could not rely on you – not even for the rest of his three days, if that was all he would have. He had to find a way to survive independently. He knew that. He had to pay you back. He had to make things right.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight,” he announced when you returned back to your shabby apartment.

You pretended to be surprised.

“Oh, no,” you replied, “not at all. Take the bed! It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“No way. It’s your bed. I slept on it last night when I really shouldn’t have. Please. Take it.”

You shook your head, scrunching your nose and grinning stubbornly at him.

“No. You.”

He sighed, but the corners of his lips twitched anyway.

“We may have reached a stalemate,” he announced, with solemn mock-seriousness.

You hummed, thoughtfully, running a finger along the bottom of the bed as you stepped closer to him.

“A compromise, then,” you said, poking a finger into his chest.

“And what is your compromise?”

“Well…”

You weren’t shy. Not when you were being yourself and not when you were pretending to be a human. But you were good at acting like it. You looked down and then up at him through your lashes, a small, reluctant smile traced on your lips.

“We could… share?”

You raised a hand to your face, covering your mouth, looking at Hoseok and then away and then back to him, eyelashes fluttering.

The genuine surprise on his face gave you butterflies. You could see his hesitation, watch his mind weigh his options, calculate the costs and benefits of each. He knew too little to have anything to guide him. Anything but you. And you had suggested it.

So it had to be ok, right?

“Share?” he asked, buying himself another moment to think it over, to consider what all this might mean in relation to the condition he had to meet.

You nodded, lip trapped between your teeth.

“Ok!” he answered brightly, hoping it was the right response, and inwardly breathing a sigh of relief when you beamed back at him.

It would be easy to love you, he thought and the sentiment caught him off-guard. He had to be realistic about human life. He wasn’t a prince here. He had nothing. But when he looked at you, he felt rich. He felt like his dream was within his grasp. You were everything he had ever hoped for. He could stay here forever with you, couldn’t he?

He wasn’t going to do anything tonight. Ask or proposition or… or god knew what else. It was too soon. Too early. There was still time. He told himself, there was still time. Still time for him to wake up from this dream he’d fallen into when he met you. Still time to commit to it forever.

You took the left side and Hoseok the right. You curled onto your side, facing him, with the covers pulled up to your eyes. He lay on his back, moonlight from the open shutter illuminating his face in a sharp line that crossed him and left you in the dark.

You watched him for a while: not sleeping, though he had his eyes closed.

“Hoseok,” you whispered. “Where are you from?”

His eyes opened and went to the window.

“Somewhere… close but also very far away.”

“You mean like, culturally?”

You saw him nod.

“Yeah. Where I come from is… very different. More different than I thought.”

“How come you came here?”

He shook his head, eyes trained on the ceiling.

“I had to,” was his simple answer and you let it hang there in the darkness, waiting for him to add to it. “I think I could have stayed, but I’d have got old and I would have looked back and I’d have regretted it. I’d have regretted staying there my whole life. I’d have regretted not seeing everything this wo- this place has to offer. I needed to experience it.”

“Do you like it here?”

He let the question go unanswered for some time. So long that he wondered, after he’d spoken, if you’d fallen asleep in the interim.

“I like some of it. I like you.”

It made your stomach swoop. Even if he wasn’t talking about you. Just the human you were pretending to be. You wondered how a real human woman would have responded to that.

You changed the subject.

“I thought I was seeing things when I first noticed you on the beach.”

A slow smile formed itself on Hoseok’s lips.

“You were… You saw me.”

You reached out and poked his arm.

“I didn’t want to go home not knowing you were ok. If I’d woken up in the morning to a news story about… well, I couldn’t have lived with myself. I realised, as I approached, that you weren’t really in danger. You looked like you were waiting for something. Someone.”

His smile turned rueful and his eyes flicked again to the window, outside of which you could hear but not see the waves crashing on the shore.

“I was,” he said, his voice a low whisper. Then he turned his face away from the light to look directly at you. “I was waiting for a miracle.”

* * *

You no longer had any concerns about the success of your plan. You had no doubt that Hoseok would go along with anything you wanted to drag him into. You didn’t know if he knew what his feelings were, but you did.

It was your own feelings that concerned you.

You hadn’t spent time with Hoseok like this since you were much younger. He was addictive. His smiles and his laughter and the way his eyes gleamed bright all the while. You could feel your resolve crumble and you knew it was bad when you realised it didn’t bother you.

You began to try to re-think things. Reformulate. Work out a way that maybe there could be a future, after all.

Originally, this was where it stopped. This was where your scheming—and your life—would end. You felt the guilt of having had no children: no one to pass your powers and your knowledge down to; you also felt free because you had subjected no one else to a life like yours. It was a heavy burden to be who you were down in the water. But it wouldn’t have mattered much once you were dead, which you were certain you would be at the end of all this. You can’t just ‘kidnap’ the prince, ‘mutilate’, and ‘trap’ him and live to tell the tale. Many had died for less. And you were fine with that. You were living to avenge every woman in your family, every witch, every creature under the sea who lived shunted into shadows, left out of the light, less than. Had been for years.

And for years, your only source of light, the single little gemstone glittering in your heart, was Prince Hoseok. Prince Hoseok and his angelic face, his musical laughter, his charm, his lightness, his brightness, his everything you weren’t and could never be.

You would get to destroy it all in one fell swoop. A beautiful, perfect demise.

Now you weren’t so sure. Weren’t so sure you could do it. You could do it; you weren’t sure you could go through with it. These feelings that you thought you were so used to, not controlled by, not swayed by anymore, were threatening to overpower you. You felt the tendrils unfurl, in the deepest pit of your heart, sending out shoots and roots, embedding themselves further into the bitter, twisted muscle. You could feel them growing through your veins, buds springing up like goosebumps on your skin. You felt them every time his hand accidentally brushed yours, every time you fed him some new food and barely grazed his lips with your fingers. Every time he laughed. Every time he looked at you. Every time. All the time.

Hoseok allowed himself to relax. You liked his company. You wanted him around. He hadn’t tried that hard to leave you—because he had no one and nothing and nowhere else, but also because he recognised that you wanted him to stay. He had realised that, whilst so much was different up on the surface, he was the same. And people liked him. Always had. Yes, he was a prince and there was always a contingent of the sycophantic and the boot-licking, but he had always been well-liked, even amongst his brothers, amongst the entire royal court. He was popular. He was fun. He was funny.

And he was enjoying himself.

He had twenty-four hours. That was enough. He’d make a decision. He was confident in that. He would make a decision soon and he would live with it, whatever it ended up being. He wasn’t pushing himself to find the answer just yet.

He was enjoying himself.

You took him dancing. It felt risky, given what you knew about how much pain he must still be in, how uncoordinated he might be on his two feet, but it was an opportunity to get closer, to show him something new, to show him something you could do. Because you loved to dance. Really only came to the surface to do this one thing.

Certain sea creatures danced, but not like humans did. It wasn’t the same without the sound of feet on floorboards, wasn’t the same without the weight of gravity trying to keep you down every time you pushed up. You weren’t exactly a fan of humans (certainly not in the way Hoseok was), but they had got this right.

Your worries had been unfounded. Hoseok’s legs were feeling better already, he thought, or he was just getting used to the pain. Either way, he wasn’t suffering like he had on the first day. He was a terrible dancer, make no mistake. He couldn’t understand the way people moved their legs, the way their feet moved so quickly they were almost blurs. He tripped and stumbled and crashed about but none of that seemed to matter to you, so it didn’t matter to him either. You held him close and pulled him up and around and twisted and turned and skipped and span until his head was dizzy.

He had never experienced a joy like it.

*

You took him on a short carriage ride, because there was somewhere else you wanted him to see. It wasn’t that far, really, but you didn’t want him to have to walk and a carriage was as new an experience to him as everything else was.

You made it drop you just far enough away that it wouldn’t spoil the surprise. You gave Hoseok nothing, answering none of his questions, not saying a word, because you were holding your breath to wait for his reaction.

And there it was.

You saw his eyebrows, first raised and then knitted together, and then softening. His eyes widening. His mouth dropping open slightly, in the way that made it perfectly heart-shaped. Then he turned his eyes on you. Was this it? Was this the thing you wanted him to see?

It was.

Like a sea of green grass with hundreds – no, thousands – of red flowers floating on the waves. Hoseok didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t seen anything like this before. It was as if he were in another new world. The red-headed poppies were so numerous, you almost couldn’t see the grass underneath; there was merely a suggestion of verdant growth propping up the riot of colour. What were these things and how did they grow in such great number?

He had been taught, growing up, that humans had no respect for nature. That they ripped up land plants and built over grasslands; they destroyed forests and valleys and wetlands all for their own ends. They would rather look at glass and concrete and chrome than the kaleidoscopic views the natural world had to offer. He had believed them, because he had heard the true stories of what human activity had done to sea life; he had received the messages of the reefs dying and oil spilling and nets catching up all sorts of things they shouldn’t. He thought, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, as he was always wont to do, that maybe the nature on land wasn’t like the nature in the sea. Maybe things were different up here. Lots of other things were.

Now he saw that he had been entirely wrong. Acres of land lay before him. Acres of useful land that could have grown crops or laid foundations to buildings were ablaze with the bright, bright red of flowers he’d never seen before. And the humans let it happen.

As his surprise gave way to pure, wide-eyed admiration, he noticed that the humans were experiencing it the same way he was. He saw them with their cameras, taking their images (as you had explained to him that’s what they did), keeping the sight forever more. He saw them smile and laugh and frolic. He saw them and saw himself in them. He saw, also, the goodness he had always known was there. The spirit and love and joy of humanity. It was here, in these fields. It was here, in his heart. It was here, standing next to him; you, watching him expectantly, a nervous smile trying to tug your bottom lip from between your teeth.

“Wow,” was all he managed to say.

* * *

It was his last night. What might have been his last night. What could be his last night. Hoseok felt tense. Nervous. Almost sick.

He had decided. He was going to stay. If he could. If he could make it happen. If you wanted it.

He knew he had a home to go back to, if you didn’t. He would always have these three days. No one could take them away from him. And if that’s all he got, if three days on the surface was all he ever got to experience, then so be it. He was putting himself in your hands: himself, his heart, his dreams. His body.

The problem was that he didn’t know how to tell you that. He didn’t know how any of this happened on land. He didn’t know what he could or could not say, or do, or suggest. Which is why he had to leave it up to you. He’d just get it wrong.

It was Hoseok’s last night and you were wondering if you were just imagining the way he was looking at you, wanting him to be looking like that. You could bend reality, but that didn’t mean you always saw it clearly. The heart had tricks of its own.

But you had the advantage over him, because you knew his secrets. You knew that this would be his last chance; you knew that you were his only option. You knew that he wanted to stay. You couldn’t be sure if he wanted to stay enough to sleep with you.

You had suggested wine at dinner because you knew it was what the humans drank and knew it made them silly and loud and boisterous; you knew it lowered their inhibitions and made them do things they often regretted. You didn’t really know how you would react to it—your body was technically human now but you’d never been drunk before—but it had left you feeling warm and a little giddy. It had, blessedly and as you had hoped, made this whole thing easier to think about.

Because your head was spinning a little too fast to think about the bigger picture: the whys and wherefores of how you got here, how he got here, the purpose of this whole thing. You could really only think about the splendid slope of his nose. The way his shallow philtrum led to the smooth, rounded peaks of his cupid’s bow. The tiny, dark freckle there that waited, begging to be kissed. The perfect symmetry of his dimples as he smiled.

You hadn’t indulged in this since you were small. Hoseok had been your first crush. First, last. Only. As a pre-teen, you’d been silly with infatuation over him. Memorised the maps of his freckles and exact proportions of his body. You’d floated around in the sea, daydreaming about him for hours on end, not realising how far you had strayed until your mother had come screaming after you, pulling you back and warning you about being so unaware of your surroundings.

You remembered those feelings now. The fizziness in your limbs and heavy twisting in your gut. Like old friends. Hoseok, too, was an old friend. Your oldest. Your only. Now and, if you got this right, forevermore.

Hoseok had accepted the first glass of wine but recoiled at its taste, unable to believe he’d found something on the surface he didn’t like. You had then explained to him that it was technically a poison and he had been aghast to see you continue to drink it, to look around and see so many other humans doing the same. Every minute brought him something new.

You took his hand as you walked back from dinner to your apartment. It was warm and soft and you were grateful for it. Hoseok was grateful for it, too. His clothes still rubbed at his skin and so much of him still hurt, but your hand in his did not.

You didn’t let go when you reached the door, didn’t let go when it shut behind you and you let the lock click. You tugged him a little closer to you, took his other hand, kept his eyes on yours as you moved closer still.

You hadn’t done this before.

Hoseok hadn’t done this before.

You’d seen it done. You understood the concept.

Hoseok had no idea what was coming, but he had decided what he wanted. He had decided to trust you. And he’d decided to trust his gut, too. If humans were anything like merpeople (and they were), at least some of what was to happen would be instinctive.

He hoped, anyway.

You didn’t say a word, though you had planned to. You had scripted a kind of shy proposition, an awkward hobble of a speech in which you would say and ask and tell. But you abandoned it. Or rather, it abandoned you. Not a single word of it left in your head. So you stopped using it: your head. Stopped thinking.

You pressed your lips to his like you’d seen humans do.

The candle in Hoseok’s heart roared, its flame reaching up his throat and into his mouth. He didn’t have time to think. His body acted for him. For the first time since he crawled onto the shore, his body was feeling something that wasn’t pain. Was feeling something familiar. Something hot and deep and aching.

He didn’t mind the taste of the wine on your tongue, thought it was sweet, actually, had lost the acidic tang of the alcohol that made it poisonous. This kiss was like every kiss that had come before it, but also, nothing like them. Absent, the tang of salt. Present, the wet heat of your mouth and his. Absent, the way he could breathe through his gills. Present, the breathlessness that made him pull away before you pulled him back. Absent, the modest nudity in which the entire undersea world lived. Present, a kind of shy, self-conscious awareness of his hidden body.

An enormous, embarrassed awareness of the bulge in his trousers, the way it couldn’t be hidden. He had been horrified to see it, when he had washed up on the beach, two-legged and naked. He couldn’t believe that humans just walked around with everything on display like that (he had known this already, would have remembered if he’d been in his right mind); he’d felt awkward and conscious the entire time, sure that everyone could see, that it was obscene, that humans couldn’t really live like this?

But never more than now, as it strained against his trousers, which hadn’t been tight thirty seconds ago and were now constraining him in a way that bordered on painful. He kept his body away from you, more difficult now that your hands were skittering up his arms and down his chest, slipping back up his skin underneath his shirt, trying to pull him closer.

You felt a little bit dizzy. Sure, the wine, but also, this. Hoseok. The sweetness of fruit in his mouth. The heat of his skin. The sensation of a kiss—something you’d never experienced before, that you had seen, that had disgusted you—was nothing like you’d imagined. If you had thought about it, if you’d been thinking rationally, you might still have been disgusted by the way your tongues rolled over each other, swapping saliva, the way you could taste him, taste the fruit he’d just eaten. But you weren’t thinking rationally. You weren’t thinking at all.

You were feeling. And it was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

You gave into it.

Hoseok gave into it.

It was, as the humans say, like riding a bike. Though you hadn’t done that either.

Hoseok stopped thinking about it when you removed his shirt and stepped out of your dress. Legs were new to him. That was true. The human arrangement of body parts was new to him but they weren’t all that different once everything was out in the open. You had lit a fire in him and he was happy to stoke the flames. He was burning again, all over, inside and out, but it wasn’t painful, wasn’t torture. It was exquisite. New and familiar at once. Intoxicating.

You fell to your knees and Hoseok thought you had stumbled, bent down to help you up, but you stopped him, shook your head, and he stood straight.

Then you took his thick, heavy cock into your hand and licked the top. You wrapped your lips around it and pushed yourself forward, gliding your tongue along the underside, hollowing your cheeks and sucking. Hoseok gasped and almost fell to his knees himself. He didn’t know what this was, assumed it was a normal part of human sex, briefly wondered if sex actually was different here, if this was the entire act. Then he felt the head of his cock press against the back of your throat and his mind was wiped clean of thought. Replaced by a kind of urgent static that made him want to buck his hips, fuck into the hot clutch of your throat.

You had seen humans do this. You weren’t sure if you were doing it right. Not at first, anyway, but Hoseok had a pained look on his face, his mouth hanging open, his chest heaving as he panted, and you knew that was the reaction you were supposed to be eliciting. You could feel the twitch of his dick as it hit your throat, as you gagged lightly around it. You could just about hear, over the roaring of blood in your ears, Hoseok moaning, your name tumbling from his mouth like a prayer.

You were aching between your legs. You were hot and sticky and you could feel it dripping from you. You felt your walls clench and had the sudden, immediate need for Hoseok’s cock there, not in your mouth. You let it fall, wiped your eyes and your mouth and Hoseok was pulling you to your feet, crashing his mouth into yours, his hands frantic and grabbing.

Neither of you was thinking a second beyond what was happening. Gone were your concerns with your long-planned acts of vengeance. Gone were Hoseok’s worries about committing to life on the surface, about leaving his marine life behind, bringing a child into the world. Gone was the pressure of your subterfuge. Gone was the pressure of all his lies of omission. Gone was everything outside the four walls of this apartment. Gone was the whole world beyond your body in his hands, his body in yours.

Hoseok found that legs made all this much easier. They probably wouldn’t under water, but here, he saw their benefit. Saw the upsides to having two of them, of having them jointed at two places and not twenty. As he knelt over you on the dingy grey sheets of your bed, he almost laughed at the image of him trying to do this with a tail. Maybe there were some upsides to this human body after all.

He placed the tip of his cock at your entrance and pushed his hips forward, a little experimentally, testing the motion, the movement of his hips. He fell forward onto his hands, eyes closed, a long, gasping moan trapped in his throat.

He hadn’t known that humans had it so much better.

Would’ve done this days ago if he had.

You were hot and tight and wet and it was all Hoseok could do not to come right there and then. He paused, trying to catch a breath, gather himself, not lose it all as soon as he had begun.

It was excruciating for a second and the whine you’d let out wasn’t pleasured but pained. You were grateful when Hoseok stopped, though you didn’t think it was for you. Is this what it was like? You had thought they liked it. That was the point, wasn’t it? Humans mated for fun, not just for procreation. You had to assume fun would follow. It had been fun up to that point. It had been its own exquisite kind of pleasurable torture waiting for something to stuff you full.

But now he was and it was like being split down the middle. You wondered for a second if this was how it had felt for Hoseok when he grew legs. Then he started pushing his hips forward again and it tossed all thought out the window.

“Are you ok?” he asked, looking down at you with a frown of genuine concern.

You nodded. You nodded some more. You couldn’t speak because the pressure in your centre was overwhelming, the pain like nothing you had felt before. But you couldn’t stop. You wanted it. You wanted him. You had never been pushed out of your mind like this, brought into your body so viscerally, so violently, with such care. Hoseok brushed a strand of hair away from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked.

“No.”

You pulled him down to you, down to his forearms, so you could kiss him, so his chest touched yours, so you could distract yourself from Hoseok with even more Hoseok. With your tongue in his mouth, you allowed yourself to cry out as he pushed further. He swallowed the sound and returned his own. You were trembling, your muscles shaking, your skin sticky with sweat.

So was Hoseok.

The pain wasn’t registering anymore, even though he knew it was still there. All he could feel was your cunt squeezing hard around him; it made him dizzy with pleasure. His stomach was churning, twisting; he was bracing trying to make this last.

Because he’d forgotten the point of it. Forgotten that the ending was the bit that counted. He wanted to feel you, he wanted to touch you and taste you and luxuriate in the human experience of this. He hadn’t imagined it but, if he had, even his wildest dreams wouldn’t have come close. Mermaids? He’d never go back.

He paused, to give you a moment, to give himself a moment, a breather. He kissed you, luxuriating in that, too: the way you tasted like no one else he’d ever kissed, the way your mouth was warm and wet, your tongue soft and supple. He liked the way his breath caught in his throat. He liked the way he found himself panting. He even liked the way his shoulders were starting to ache from holding his body up. Liked the way he could feel every muscle of his posterior chain move when he slowly, tentatively began to draw his hips back, when he tipped them forward again, when he set a slow, smooth motion that he found came easily to him.

Having a human body was exhausting. It was hard work. It was heavy all the time and never supported. It had been torture in the truest sense, with every step Hoseok took stabbing daggers into his legs. But he could see the benefits now. Well, he could feel them. He felt more embodied than he ever had before. Somehow separate from the world in a way that made him feel so much more connected to you. You weren’t two small parts of a larger whole. You were the whole.

He had spent time pondering the ways in which air was so different from water. He often thought water came off the better from the comparison. But this was changing everything. It was exhausting and painful and he was so aware of each and every part of his body. And with that, came a gut-churning pleasure that made his eyes water and his head spin. Water had nothing on air.

You weren’t sure it was pleasurable yet. The sharp pain had subsided and the little grunts and groans that Hoseok left in your mouth were sweet enough, but it wasn’t pleasure. Not yet. You were sure it would come. Didn’t mind entirely if it didn’t tonight. There would be other nights.

You hoped, you prayed, there would be other nights. Because it might have been pain, but it was the sweetest pain you’d ever felt. A pain that you somehow longed for, even as you longed for it to end. A pain that made you feel wanted. A pain that connected you to another living being in a way that you never had been. A pain that, in a moment of intense clarity, you realised connected you to women, human women. All human women who had experienced this since time began. You understood a little about their myths about the origin of man, and sin, and punishment.

You understood it. How this could be punishment. How it could be pleasure, too. How it could be worth it.

Hoseok could feel it coming. He was desperately trying to beat it back, to delay its onset, to make this last and last and last. He never wanted it to end, but he could feel his muscles tightening, feel his cock jumping with every thrust. Pleasure was coiling like a spring inside him, boiling rapidly, boiling over.

You gasped alongside him when he came, when his hips and breath stuttered and he filled you with ropes of hot cum. His body was heavy on top of yours, in a pleasing, crushing kind of way that grounded you. At that very moment, neither one of you was thinking about the consequences of what you had just done. What it could mean. What it meant for your best laid plans. You were lying, listening to the soft rushing of your breath and the hammering of your hearts.

*

It came to you, first, and you didn’t want to think about it. Because you were so full of feeling for Hoseok; feelings that you thought had faded, that had embedded themselves in you in a way that made them fade into the background, made you almost forget they were there, were screaming at you now. In technicolour. Surround sound. Unignorable. Undeniable.

But had you just destroyed him? Destroyed his life? His family?

That had been the intention. Bring down the royal family by having one of their own shun the sea for life on the surface, mate with a human. They’d have known it was you—it couldn’t have been anyone else—and they’d have executed you without trial. But it would’ve been worth it because, forever more, there would be a line of the royal family that ran human, that ran amok on the surface, that no one below the waves would ever be able to forget. It would have been their undoing without doubt. Whatever betrothals lay in wait for the princes would be broken; whatever treaties that were depending on them dashed; the reputation of the family would be in tatters. It would be over for them.

Which was what you had wanted.

But as you lay, absent-mindedly stroking Hoseok’s hair, naked and sweaty and sticky, with a penetrating ache still radiating through your core, you thought about how much that would hurt him. You saw the betrayal on his beatific face and your stomach flipped with fear. Because it wasn’t meant to be you lying here. And that made a difference.

Because you had seen him. You had kissed him. You had had him move inside you. You had loved him your whole life long and now you had to tell him that you had ulterior motives. That you were working against him. That all of this had been the result of your careful manipulations.

There had to be another way. There had been another way. That was how you had designed it. You weren’t supposed to be in this front-row seat. That was the point.

But it was too late now. And you needed a way out.

Maybe he never had to know.

Maybe you could make this work.

*

Hoseok’s eyes were fluttering shut. He could barely keep them open. He didn’t know if he had just secured his existence here or not. He didn’t know how to guarantee a child. Wasn’t clear-headed enough at that moment to know, for sure, if he wanted one.

He wanted to stay. Oh, he wanted to stay. He couldn’t go back now. But a child?

He felt wicked. He thought about what you might say if you ever learnt the truth. The betrayal. The way he used you for this.

He felt like a coward. He was a pampered prince who had achieved nothing on his own. He had turned to a sea witch in the midst of what amounted to a king-sized tantrum. She had risked her entire existence bringing him here. He had barely survived on his own. You had rescued him. Given him food and shelter and company and the greatest pleasure he had ever known.

He knew he couldn’t tell you the truth. Not if he wanted any part of this to continue.

Because he did. He wasn’t just using you. He wasn’t sure he was using you at all. He liked you. He wanted you. He wanted to stay, not just on the surface, but on the surface with you.

It felt too big. Too confusing. Too difficult. He was a coward, after all, so he closed his eyes and decided to see what the morning would bring.

You noticed his breathing slow, grow heavy and deep, his body relaxing further, his weight pressing down on you harder. He was asleep. That gave you time, you thought. To think of something. Some way out of this. Some way to stay in this.

But your own eyelids felt heavy, kept dropping of their own accord, and you kept losing your train of thought. You gave into it; you would wake early, go out and buy something for breakfast, figure it out in the morning.

[aceof-stars]

Manfred von Karma!

Thank you for the ask <3 (to every else who sent me a character ask, I'm working on it :)

First impression

I actually never hated him or had strong feelings about him. I was introduced to AA through narumitsu fanfic but I knew I wanted to play the games so I avoided everything with spoilers, including everything Manfred. I guess I just thought of him vaguely as a villain and Miles' mentor/father figure.

Impression now

He's one of my favorite Ace Attorney characters. I have him at 4th but honestly, maybe he's 3rd now?? I have developed an attachment to this ridiculous evil man. I love him so much. I wish there was more canon content of him, but I think he's an interesting character with a lot of room for nuance.

Favorite moment

He doesn't really have many canon moments (and I haven't played AAI). But probably when he gloated Phoenix into cross-examining Polly the parrot and it's implied that he witness-coached a parrot. Manfred, you are an insane person.

Idea for a story

I just want to see a story where Manfred is force-fed a redemption arc. Like for example a no DL-6 AU where Gregory manages to get a Manfred properly investigated for forging evidence. But to ensure he doesn't get another penalty, Manfred tries to frame another prosecutor to throw Gregory off his trail.

Only, Manfred finds out that the person he is framing is actually guilty of forging evidence. Manfred has to follow through with his plan and gets dragged into working with Gregory. Gregory is surprised but grateful that Manfred has been so helpful in weeding out corruption in the prosecutor's office, and wants to befriend/ally with Manfred. Manfred is seething with hatred. (Oh and eventual Shingou :)

Unpopular opinion

Manfred as a character deserves a lot more nuance. There's... a lot to talk about but these are the three main things I have a strong opinion on:

1) He was a flawed parent and I think it's more interesting to explore those flaws than to just label him abusive for the sake of villainizing him.

2) It does not makes sense for Manfred to be sexist/homophobic/etc. Simply because I don't think he cares enough to hate a group of people like that. He is very rational, efficient, and his perfectionism is focused on his prosecuting career. If anything, he discriminates against defense attorneys (lmao).

3) Manfred didn't brainwash or force Miles into becoming a prosecutor. I'm sure Manfred was influential but Miles had his own reason to be a prosecutor that stemmed from DL-6. Miles was also always a perfectionist (the paper cranes thing) and the von Karma family brand of perfectionism just amplified it.

Favorite relationship

Shingou!! <3 (Gregory Edgeworth/Manfred von Karma)

Defense attorney/prosecutor ship, toxic enemies to lovers, doomed romance, or super slowburn (if no DL-6 AU), bitter courtroom rivals turned bickering old married couple (who still duke it out in court), co-parenting Miles and Franziska (before officially getting together).

Favorite headcanon

Manfred did love Franziska and Miles (in his own way). Regarding Miles, Manfred saw him as a symbol of his failures (the penalty Gregory gave him and the shot in his shoulder). So Manfred struggled a lot when he began to actually care about Miles. When Miles's perfect record was broken, Manfred saw it as a threat to his own perfection. (I hope that makes sense. I do need to think about this more to solidify the headcanon. I just love complicated von Karma family dynamics)

[velvetwyrme]

doozi's transformers fic rec list round one!!

📚 FIC REC MASTERLIST

Ehehehe Transformers time. First round is all reader inserts because I love reader inserts and ik a lot of people who follow me here enjoy them too :] Next round will probably be a mix of other ship stuff (aka. anything but reader inserts LMAO)

For those of you who are new here, this will be VERY long. I like to chatter a LOT. And for those that have seen any of my other rec lists... you know what's up.

The STATUS of each fic is labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued or Indefinite Hiatus. Oneshots are also marked accordingly.

Fics with Explicit content and/or Dark themes have also been labelled to the best of my memory. (I don’t mark fics with suggestive themes/moments and no explicit smut, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death, gore, or other upsetting topics are central to the plot, I [probably] won’t mark it as "dark".)

I've also done my best to label each of these with which continuity they (broadly) exist in, if it's relevant. If it's not labelled it's likely because it's because I couldn't decide on a tag and/or it's set in an AU divorced enough from any specific continuity that I figured that a tag would just be a disservice to any sort of filtering. Either that, or I just missed it LMAO.

Also, usually I try not to include TOO many fics with explicit content in these lists because my blog isn't specifically 18+ but uhhhh some of these are Pretty Damn Explicit, so use your best judgement while reading and all that 👍

Please tread carefully while reading, check tags, take breaks, drink water and HAVE FUN <3

=========================

MULTICHAPTERS

Words and Wishes - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Finished

One of the first few TF fics I read!! I'm a big fan of first contact AUs and linguistics so I fell in love with this fic immediately. I also fell in love with Swerve immediately. He's SO freakin cute in this. I read it before finishing IDW and so when I eventually got to Swerve in the comics I was like "OHHH!!! That's Swerve!? My beloved shooting star..."

The author's other work in the series (same premise, different character), Fox in Shining Armor is also HELLA cute.

Reciprocated - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Finished

The reader has a teeny tiny lil crush on Soundwave, which he discovers while monitoring Autobot communications. He continues listening in and begins to feel the same :]!

This one makes me cry every time I read it, it's just SO sweet and lovely and just. AUGH!!! There's no words for how freakin CUTE it is. I've read it soooo many times.

Flick of the Wrist - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

More first contact crashlandings!! Except it's WHIRL which is so so fun. He causes much property damage and you wouldn't trade him for the world.

The Angel of Highway 49 - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

One of my favourite authors!!! I was so heckin excited when I realised they were posting Transformers fic LMAO.

And rightfully so! The fic is fantastic so far- Optimus becomes a sort of ghost story, a stranger who helps people along the highways. He's confusing and comforting and he's seemingly taken it upon himself to protect you.

Social Media Etiquette - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The start of this is a really funny concept (buncha coworkers discussing which Autobot they'd bang) and then it just continues on being super super adorable and sweet. I love TFA!Prowl and I love the way he's written in this!!!

Swaps seamlessly between cute romantic trysts and the absolute chaos of other people watching these two wander into love.

winter of our youth - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ultra Magnus accidentally ends up with a human companion who mostly wants to get back to their own life, only for both to become steadily more entangled. I absolutely adore the vibes in this fic- it feels slow, soft, and bright like a world muffled by snow.

west texas wind - [ G1 ] - Protectobots/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

By the same author as above! Protectobots my BELOVED. It's so soft and sweet and auuauauhghhh I need more. It updated while I was in the middle of writing this list and just ahh! I LOVE IT. So cute. So sweet. I love seeing the different characters reactions to each other and their actions- it's so fun.

You should also go check out their other fics, because the way they write character dynamics is sooo lovely, and their fics have been Nourishing me because I'm in love with a lot of characters that rarely get reader inserts :'> !!!

In particular I'm a fan of: haunt, invisible string, their prowl fics (<- two links!!!), AND also this set of oneshots; glory !

empurata - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

As a neutral party in all this war stuff, you just want to help fix up bots. This ends up endearing you to both factions, which results in you befriending one explosive Wrecker, and sometimes hosting a bunch of Decepticons in your garage.

TFP setting with a dash of IDW lore <3 I love the way the relationships develop in this fic- Shcokwaves emotions (or lack of) is always fun to explore, especially in the context of love and having Romantic Feelings. It gets even more complicated when the thing preventing him from feeling things begins to malfunction...

Small Hands - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader, Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Soulmate AU!! Oohoho I love soulmate AUs... having THIS one be handprints is an especially fun, considering the size difference !!! Also, I love the way Cybertronian soulmates work :0

OP and the reader interacting and slooooowly figuring things out is very sweet.

knock us down and we'll keep on going - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Who knew deleting your ex off of social media would lead to you getting kidnapped by a car then falling for said car? KO and the reader get to be an iconic bi4bi couple, and you also get a cat! Who's totally normal and not a decepticon. Very very cute, funny, and also angsty in parts in a really good way (Breakdown... he only shows up in mentions but my HEART ;w;)

Series is ongoing, but the fics are finished :]

Breaking Bread - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Some sorta warning for the SHEER AMOUNT OF HORNY that the characters experience in this (/appreciative)]

There is no way I can make a TF fic rec list and NOT include the fic that made me SO unwell about TFP Soundwave before I got into Transformers. Phenomenal writing, snappy dialogue and absolute CHAOS and CHEMISTRY (both of the romantic and literal kind).

The various animal-related descriptors of all the bots are cemented in my brain as well as several playlists worth of music. My Spotify will never recover.

I was already attached to Soundwave from the start, but my absolute favorite animals are jellyfish, so when that parallel was drawn, I swooned even harder... ALAS. *gives a sad, sidelong glance at the main ship tag*

Also, I'm in love with the Anime-Waifu-Madness-slash-Marriage-Counselling-Arc that's going on at the moment because HOW did we get here and WHY does it work so well????

Fortuna Primigenia - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Same author as the previous fic! I originally read this immediately after catching up with Breaking Bread and it absolutely destroyed me (and my sleep schedule)!! I cried!! So much!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! Fascinating concepts, and wonderful execution. Makes me want to eat drywall.

ALSO while I'm here, you should also read Blackbird [E] because the reader realising their "metal Adonis" is a "liar and a pussy" made me laugh so hard I cried for a different reason and it's also really good my god.

50% Plant Based - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

HYSTERICAL fic. Really funny. The reader is a menace and I'm living for it. You haunt the Nemesis and somehow seduce Megatron with your Silly Guy wiles, and also by bullying Starscream. The reader is incapable of expressing any genuine emotion without like 10 layers of Humor on top of it, which is hilarious when combined with an overly poetic warlord who feels every emotion with the dramatics of a Shakespearean play.

And I met you in the rain - [ G1-ish ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Prowl is down bad for a human that he's been seeing in his dreams and gets the chance to save her when he happens upon her in the rain. This fic reminds me of a romance movie in the best ways.

Romantic Mixtape Side A - [ G1-ish ] - Con Cassettes/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

You kiss a buncha cassettes after one of them crashes through your wall! Domestic and cute for the large part- you get them to all be nicer to each other sjkdfhskjdf

Slice of life, but with big alien bots <3

Revelboo's Fic Collection - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Go read Revelboo's fics now!!! She updates So Fast it scares me. But I'm eating them up like candy because each installment is bite sized and delicious.

My favourites so far are the fics for Jazz, Sunstreaker+Sideswipe, Bluestreak, Thundercracker, ES!Megatron, Rumble and Prowl but oh my god every single one of them is amazing. OH AND THE ONE WITH THE SCAVENGERS. If you think that's a long list of characters, that's because the actual list of ongoing fics is EVEN LONGER.

They're also up on Ao3 if you prefer to read stuff there :]!!

D-16 (Megatron) x Reader – The Creature From Another World - [ TFOne ] - D16 | Megatron/Reader - Finished

Have I mentioned I love language barriers? It's so fun. Everyone thinks you're a fun little creature... until you get your translator fixed of course :]

The ending of this is so perfectly tragic and it fits so well with D-16's transition into becoming Megatron!!

Canary in a Coal Mine - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains dark themes]

The Decepticons won and have taken over Earth, enslaving humanity and leaving razed ground in their wake. Your voice is the only thing you truly have to yourself any more,

This fic leaves a bitter and gritty taste in your mouth. I love it.

Crosscheck on Angels 10 - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

After Starscream strikes it out on his own, you end up becoming an unexpected light in the darkness for him, much to the concern of Ratchet.

I really like how Arcee's anger is portrayed in this- it feels so visceral.

They Just Wanted to Relax - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You work with automobiles and one day you begin getting a buncha weeeeeeird customers. I love the reader slowly putting the pieces together. It's so fun.

Metal Lung - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

This one is just starting out and I'm HOOKED already. The premise is fantastic, and it's paired with some extremely evocative writing.

The reader is an agent of MECH who ends up infiltrating the Decepticons after signing their death sentence and stepping inside the MECHA they've been working on...

Adrift in the Lagoon - [ IDW ] - Mer!Drift/Reader - Finished

Mermechs...... Drift as a mermech... *swoons* be still my beating heart!! He's really freaking cute in this, I wanna kiss him and smoosh his cheeks.

TwinTails - [ G1-(f)ish ] - Mer!Sideswipe/Reader, Mer!Sunstreaker/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Captive mer fic >:]c !!! You're a scientist who works with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, helping them and growing closer. You eventually help them escape of course, but that comes with it's own slew of problems.

I!! Love!! Language barriers!!! And this does not disappoint! I'm fascinated and delighted by the eventual work around for the language barrier as well, because it's nit perfect but it works and it's so cool to see both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker finding their own ways to communicate and connect with the reader in this.

Smut is skippable in this, but why would you want to do that? It's amazing :3c

Marine Centre -Merformers AU - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Even MORE mer fic. This one has a wider cast of mer which is DELIGHTFUL because you get to see all the different personalities interacting. Also I saw that there's more content with the ladies planned later so I'm DOUBLY excited 💖

Full Throttle - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

You're a janitor tasked with cleaning up after the unethical experiments the military are performing on Starscream, and end up growing close to him as you treat him kindly :]

Gravity - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished

Same author as previous! This time you're one of the scientists tasked with studying Starscream and he gets to be a tremendous menace the entire time. I love that in many ways, he's studying you too.

Displeasures of the Flesh - [ IDW ] Human!Kaon/Reader, Human!Vos/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Gore and horror themes] [Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

This is humanformers but it's humanformers if they were FORMERLY bots and that in itself is enough to sell me on the concept because DUDE hell yeah ??

Anyway I love these fucked up little guys. They've got to reckon with suddenly becoming human, and you've got to deal with THEM.

Best Job Ever - [ Bayverse/ROTB ] Mirage/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

CARWASHING EHEHEHE. You get a certain customer who keeps requesting you wash his car... and well, the second chapter is explicit :]

Hit Me Hard (Hit Me Fast) - [ TFP ] Knock Out/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Sometimes the cute guy you've been talking to turns out to be a talking walking car alien, and you have Feelings about that!!

Decadence - Starscream/Reader, Shockwave/Reader, Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Gore and horror themes]

I absolutely love the descriptions in this fic. Deliciously disgusting, it's not for the light of heart. Everything in this fic feels Squishy and visceral and I love it.

You're a paramedic, called to the sight of a grisly and unusual accident. Even more unusual is the giant metal angel who appears to terrorize you.

sugar (daddy), oh, honey honey - [ TFA ] - Swindle/Reader - Oneshot

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

The DYNAMIC between Swindle and the reader in this one. My god. MY GOD. He's your sugar baby essentially kjhfksjfh,, it's a mutually beneficial agreement!! I would let my bank account get drained by him.

"Improving alien relations" sounds better than "a really nice hook-up" - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Oneshot

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

The title is self explanatory sdjfhskdfh <3 You're a human in a mech suit and Swerve's got his holoform going... I'd make a joke but the author already did that in the summary LOL. He's such a sweetheart...

To live, and to serve - [ TFOne ] - Sentinel Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

TFOne!Sentinel Prime is his own warning- the relationship is Not Good At All but it is so fun to read. He's so awful and I wanna kiss him. Grahhh I love this nasty man!!!

To Endure - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Timeloops my BELOVED. The reader gets stuck in a timeloop along with Soundwave. Both of them are working towards opposite outcomes and the reader decides they're going to make it Soundwave's problem. Humans are squishy after all...

I love the push and pull between Soundwave and the reader in this <3

Our thoughts are all mechanical - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You're suffering from energon poisoning, and the only cure? Cuddles!! No, like, legit. You get many many medically incurred cuddles.

Very very sweet fic! So much mutual pining... 💖!!

Enough - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Finished

Things end happily but ehehehe I am eating up the sweet sweet misunderstandings and angst in this fic. Makes me want to vibrate out of my seat.

To Fake a Funeral - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Another newer fic! It's just started out but it's so good already... the reader is Jack's sister and gets into a bunch of shenanigans when she returns to Jasper on a temporary break from college. Like getting captured so you csn fix up the comatose leader of the Decepticons and meeting the Autobots who your little brother has been hanging out with.

Klik away - [ IDW2/G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Prowl gets saddled with a very unfortunate human until they can be returned to earth. Despite their differences, both end up growing fond of each other :]

ALSO. GREEN IS HERE. 🥺✨ Baby baby baby I love her!!

~* Gladiators of Kaon *~ - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content...?]

Rhhghdgh I'm not all the way caught up on this one yet (thus the question mark in the warning. I Know it's coming) but I'm adding it anyway because what I HAVE read I'm in love with. It's set before the war, so we get gladiators Megatron and Soundwave >:33c!! Also I'd put my life on the line for Swindle. He's such a little GUY.

The author's other series Butterfly Effect [E] (ft. a human reader) is also really good!!

The Darkest Hour (Optimus x You) - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I'm really enjoying where this is going so far >:3c! The reader is a reporter who is dedicated to uncovering the truth, but is also prone to lying in order to get where the information they need ;] I'm so unwell over their dynamic in this fic.

Burn a hole in the old grip of the familiar - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Auuauuiahgh Ultra Magnus..... after getting into a fight with Knock Out within sight of a human, he ends up with you as a companion. Groundbridge is broken, so cue a very long, unplanned roadtrip. It's sooo good.

Spilling Sugar - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Poly!!! Triad!!!!!!! Soundwave/Reader/Shockwave!!! They are sooooo cute. I love polyamory negotiations and figuring things out and AHHH I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH DEARLY. The reader teaching Shockwave texting shorthand and emotes is so cute... AUUIGGHD MY HEART auuuauuhgh.

More reader inserts need to let me kiss multiple characters and for them to kiss each other. Love is love is love. Where are all the TF poly reader inserts I need more!!!

=========================

ONESHOTS

Universal Constant - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

Series of soulmate oneshots!! I love these. I especially enjoyed the ones for Fulcrum, TFP Ratchet, Dratchet (!!! YES!! POLY!!!!) and TFA Prowl <3

One to One - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

More!! Soulmate oneshots!! I love all of them :']]!!!! They're all just really really good I can't pick any favorites skdjfjkhfh

Locks To Fit the Keys - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

This one has it so that Cybertronians can only transform once they find their soulmate- as such, locks, keys... there are so many oneshots in this collection and I adore all of them. This was another one I read before I got into TF LMAO so it was fun going back and rereading them now I know who everyone is XD

Also, not all of these have happy endings >:3c!!! Many do, but not all, and I love that!!

Passing thoughts; obscurest bots - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series

A series dedicated to lovin on obscure bots and side characters!! I've linked it to the SFW edition, which includes Defensor and Pipes, both of whom I love dearly.

Poly-Combaticons X Reader – Hostage - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot

Wanna smooooch a gestalt? I wanna smooch a gestalt. You're taken hostage and this bunch ends up growing fond of you, and decide to break you out because you're theirs now.

Code: LOVE - [ G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot

KJRAHRJKHFJF I love this one so much. The reader dresses up in a sexy police outfit for Prowl, except he's kinda oblivious, something that the rest of the base is more than happy to clear up for him, much to his and your detriment. It's extremely funny and cute.

Can't Keep Up - [ TFA ] - Blurr/Reader - Oneshot

You find out your best friend and racing partner IS the car he drives when you're unexpectedly ambushed by Decepticons.

softest spot to sleep in - [ G1 ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot

Titties........... medically prescribed titties... !! Very cute, very soft. I want this to be real... Like Ratchet's boobs

Making Space - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader - Oneshot

You spend some time sitting in a very intimate position as Optimus does desk work. He places you between his legs and I'm. hrhghjkjfjkks,, thighs.

RELIC I JUST REALISED YOU WROTE THIS ONE. I'VE BEEN UNWELL OVER IT FOR SO LONG. THIGHS. MY GOD.

Copy - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot

The reader has a very fun power in this >:3c I won't spoil it because I think it's better experienced, but oh my god the bit at the end where the reader's reveal fails at first had me in stitches. Really fun and very cute.

kindness - [ IDW ] - Sunstreaker/Reader - Oneshot

Sunstreaker is freakin ADORABLE in this <3!! It's set on the Lost Light as well, which is a rarity that I love.

Our Shirt - [ IDW ] - Spinister/Reader - Oneshot

I'm a sucker for Spinister!!! My beautiful dumbass heli!! Short and sweet akjhsdkjf

Booty Shorts - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Oneshot

WHIRL IN BOOTY SHORTS, WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

Based off of this fantastic piece of artwork! I think this was the one of the first times I read anything relating to Whirl and it was such a delightful introduction.

The Concept of Cohabitation - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot

Reader is dating Swindle, but due to Combiner Feels, the others end up feeling the same way, and well... you're not complaining ;]! Focus is on Onslaught in this, but the other ships are very much implied.

The Last Time This Happened Megatron X Reader - Megatron/Reader - Oneshot

The reader is a dimension hopper, and gets stuck in a cave with Earthspark!Megatron. You've seen him die again and again throughout dimensions, and now... it might be your turn. Very sweet and sad... the reader carrying the weight of half a dozen histories is so good.

This Is Not A Negotiation - [ IDW(SG) ] - Shattered Glass!Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot

Shattered Glass Rodimus... I love him despite his shitty little moustache. The reader runs around in a mech suit and he doesn't realise that they're human until both of them catch Feelings >:)))!!! Really really fun premise, and deliciously written.

Scout and Medic - [ TFP ] - Arcee/Reader - Oneshot

You're Arcee's partner and the two of you get the chance to reunite on Earth! Short and sweet :D

Fated Nonsense - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader/Breakdown - Oneshot

Unrequited pining? Kinda? Essentially the reader keeps running into two handsome cars and they pine for the funny little human they keep seeing around. Very very cute, even though you don't know they aren't just cars. WAIT I JUST REALISED THAT THIS IS THE SAME AUTHOR AS RECIPROCATED HANG ON-

Woke Up In A Safe House, Singing - [ TFP ] - Airachnid/Reader - Oneshot

Because of that realisation, I also now have more fics to add to the list!! AIRACHNID MY BELOVED. I absolutely adore how intimidating but gentle she is in this fic. Very very sweet. Get you a big spider lady to treat you right!!!!

Alien Parenting 101 - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Oneshot

You are babysitting your roommates kid and are summoned to the Nemesis, where nobody is immune to Cute Baby. I'm gonna cry it's so cute...!!!

Of All The Mechs... - [ TFA ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot

Your gaze ends up lingering a little too long on the enemy. Little baby me is cheering and whooping at the back of my brain because TFA Starscream was my fav when I was a kid.

Butterscotch - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot

Cuteeeeee. Movie night with a very smitten Prowl who doesn't know what to do with himself. Cuddles ensue <33 Soooo so cute!!!

Pen And Paper - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot

Seems like Megatron has an admirer... he takes it upon himself to find out whoever has been leaving him such detailed and beautiful artworks. SO CUTE.

Hypothetically speaking - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot

So... hypothetically speaking, if there was a fic that was super cute and funny about the reader hypothetically liking Rodimus in which they decide to confess to him in hypotheticals...well, hypothetically, would you read it? (The fic is filled with hypotheticals and silly cuteness!!)

Take a Break - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot

Very cute!! You force Ratchet to take a break for once, and the two of you spend some time watching the sunset :]!

Swoop - [ G1 ] - Thundercracker/Reader - Oneshot

He's so smooth in this!!! My little heart can't take it!! Smooth moves TC, smooth moves. So cute!

Runway 19 - [ G1/IDW-ish ] - Jazz/Reader - Oneshot

A soft, slow fic which details the growing tension between a government agent and their car. The quiet intimacy of this fic kills me, it's sooo good...

=========================

PLATONIC & AMBIGUOUS

Platonic reader inserts!! Because I love them and I think they should get more attention <3 (Also includes fics which are tagged with both / and &, or otherwise ambiguously romantic/platonic fics)

In Media Bellum - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

This fic has me in a vice grip. I love love love the mysteries and the dynamics between the reader and the other characters. It's so fascinating to see the dynamics unfold. This fic makes me feel so many things!!!

Sparkless - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

You get a Vehicon friend and a lot of scares along the way :]!! I love! Fics like this!!!

Critter - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader || Soundwave&Reader - Oneshot

Giant metal creatures can be scary, no matter how well meaning or kind they might be. Soundwave finds the reader after an Incident with the Autobots, and he is very attentive and gentle with them. Makes me feel soft!!

Too Close For Comfort - [ IDW ] - Rodimus&Reader - Finished

Language barriers >:3c!!!!! Mmmm Rodimus thinking of himself as heroic when he's unintentionally the opposite is one of my favourite flavours of Rodimus, and this series tackles that in a really fun way. The opposing perspectives are SO good and I love that the same scene is seen in such different ways by characters. The tension that grows throughout the series is So good.

I especially enjoyed Sparkbeat, A Game of Mech and Mouse AND ALSO Darkness is Honest, Are You to Yourself? because I love hopeful endings <3

Playing With His Food - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot

You get into a dogfight with an unusual sort of plane and Starscream finds himself a new toy of sorts :3c I really enjoy that there's a language barrier but we as the audience still get to know what Starscream is saying. AUGH I love the dialogue. So good.

Snow Angel - [ G1 ] - Skyfire&Reader - Oneshot

You get lost in the snowy wilderness, but luckily you are found by some sort of angel... I looooove this so much. I love the delayed reaction the reader has because of the cold... and Skyfire is so gentle, it makes my heart skip a beat every time I read this.

Ignition - Ratchet&Reader - Finished

More first contact stuff!!! Ratchet stumbles across an injured human after crash landing on Earth. He tries to help, with mixed results. Again, I'm a big fan of language barriers, and I enjoyed Ratchet figuring out how to help the human to the best of his ability without being abke to properly communicate at the beginning. The moment when commutation IS established is also very funny to me sbfjdbdk

I love Transformers. I love Stardew Valley. This fic mashes them both together in a really fun way!! You, as per Stardew Valley fashion, inherit your grandfather's farm, except you end up finding a dog and a strange... doll? One becomes many and soon you have the entire (tiny!) Lost Light crew living with you.

The Season of the Smallest Stars - [ IDW/Stardew Valley Crossover ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

Supremely cute. I love all the little adventures everyone gets to go on.

The Tyrant's Consideration - [ Earthspark ] - Megatron/Terran!Reader || Megatron&Terran!Reader - Oneshot

Crashout Relations - [ G1-ish ] - Thundercracker/Reader || Thundercracker&Reader, Seeker Trine&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I came across this one while putting the list together and I'm so glad for it- it's brilliant and tense so far. A big blue seeker crashes into your backyard and flees (drags himself) into your barn. Your plan of moving to a farm so you'd be left alone doesn't seem to be working out too well...

Very very sweet!! The reader is a Terran who is selectively mute, and they have a run in with Megatron, who turns out to be much less scary than you imagined.

I've included this here because the fic contents isn't Specifically Romantic, and also from what I understand of ES, the Terrans are usually portrayed to have a familial relationship to the Cybertronians, but please correct me if I'm wrong!!

Neon-Green Spandex Missile - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished

You're a Cybertronian(?) who transforms into a BIKE and your name is... the title. No, seriously that's how you introduce yourself and it's great. Very fun fic!

I.O.U - [ IDW ] - Tarn&Reader - Finished

Weird fae rules and worlds??? Strange size-swapping magics?? Sign me UP. Tiny Tarn is So angy but cute. I adore characters getting tied to one another via unintentional magical pact, it's so fun...

These Caves We Venture Through - [ G1/Earthspark ] - Megatron&Reader, Sideswipe&Reader - Finished

=========================

Series ongoing, fics are finished! You're a kid who stumbles across Megatron while off exploring. Years later, you encounter him again. Very sweet and melancholic at times.

OKAY that's all I've got for reader inserts that aren't just... purely explicit content LMAO.

If I included those I'd be here forever, but yknow, if you are interested in seeing that list... let me know and I'll smash one together in the future (on my. other blog of a sqwyrme-ier sort.) Either way, I'll be putting together the list of other ship fics next :]

Also!! If you have any recs for me, please feel free to drop by my inbox!! I'd love to read them <3

[damnfandomproblems]

5893

Lmao... We're not getting into this wank again, are we? Especially so soon after the total dumpster fire of minor-sent asks from the other problem?

["Just because there isn't sexual content in the show, doesn't mean the fandom needs to add it in there."]

Erk. Wrong. Fandom is the place for doing things that weren't in the original media. The most obvious example? Hey, those characters weren't gay or in a relationship in the show, but they could totally be a couple! They have so much in common! Let's make them gay in our art and fic.

If you can't grasp this most basic concept, you really have no authority to be dictating what is, or isn't, warranted in fandom. But let's keep going, shall we?

["I hate when I'm looking for fanfiction and I see minors being shipped with adults or even young characters doing the deed with other young characters."]

Where, pray tell, are you even looking for these fanfictions? On the tumblr app, which is 18+? In a general tumblr tag, which doesn't have a max age limit? On AO3, which also doesn't have a max age limit, and is more akin to a library which will, obviously, have all manners of content?

And you can hate whatever ships and dynamics you want, nobody's stopping you. I hate Starker with a passion. But you know what I do? I filter, and I use xkit, and I blacklist, and if that's not possible, I avoid the places it's likely to pop up. Because I accept the fact that I can change my behavior, but I can't stand at the beach in front of a massive tsunami, and hold up my hand and expect it to stop. Nobody else is at that beach except you. You're the one who didn't heed the age restrictions (or lack of) of the spaces and the general freedom of those spaces, and is now standing there, about to drown, and all the other fans are standing on higher ground tsking and shaking their heads, because it's just that stupid.

["I think fandoms for kid shows should be safe places."]

Safe space for who? For kids? There are entire fandoms for Lego, for ATLA, for MLP, and for dozens if not hundreds and thousands of other kid's properties that are populated largely by adults. Because guess what? Kids grow up. People are kids for like 1/6 of their lifespan. And you think ATLA fans will simply stop existing in fandom spaces once they hit 18 or 21? What an incredibly sad way to see things.

You want a safe space for kids, make your own space. Default fandom on the internet is inherently not a space geared towards kids! Not just because, well, it's on the internet, and we all know about rule 34 (if you don't, look it up), but because the existence of a fandom for any given property has zero obligation to only have kids in it. For the reason I just described above.

You're coming into spaces with a naive and uninformed idea of what that involves, then acting like everyone else is at fault.

Don't.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[space-blue]

Prometheus as a TV series

Firstly, I want to specify that I only saw Alien, Alien Romulus, and the prequels. I'm due to watch Aliens this weekend. I've not read ANY comic or novel.

From my POV, Prometheus and Covenant are extremely weird because they are clearly excellent premises for TV series.

This was originally written in reply to someone who thought the Prequels undermined the cosmic horror by leaning too much into sci-fi and genomics around the Engineers. I argued that none of the prequels' content goes against horror and that the films are simply in the wrong format!

They're both currently terrible because people are forced into dumb exposition to cram information on the screen and dumb actions in order to make a monster movie happen inside what is otherwise an ambitious and philosophical sci-fi premise.

There's large casts of very skilled people. Fuck, in Prometheus there's one of the richest and most influential people in the human galaxy secretly aboard the ship. You'd think this would be absolutely great stuff to explore. Perfect opportunity to see how warped someone like Peter Weyland is, and also the sort of bonkers power he wields.

His relationship to his children (his daughter and his android "son") was very intriguing to me in the film, and considering how vital David 8 is to the prequels as a whole, this would have been great drama to explore further.

Focusing on Prometheus here:

A TV series would have given us a smart, not hectic Holloway. His turn to despondency could be more gradual. His difference in reaction to Shaw could, given time, explore different ways people of faith react to having that faith shaken. I think he's the main source of idiotic scenes throughout, and making him less of a wanker and more of a driven and soft spoken nerd would go a very long way.

Our extra time could also give us time to flesh out Shaw. She could reveal her infertility in a more reasonable environment, like while testing prior to the original cryo-sleep.

Starting on Earth and staying there longer would also help build the Engineers and the act of going after them as something spookier.

In general, the prequels massively sanitize space. It's also the case in Romulus. Space is treated as this negative area that is a source of hard vacuum and zero G. It's not treated as something inherently scary, but we all know that's perfectly doable.

Going to look after the "Engineers" sounds silly in the film because the team is honest to goodness just following cave paintings. They would benefit from following a lead, like perhaps finding the star system and studying it, only to detect strange emissions from it.

(Just in case you forgot, looking at a star is looking at how it was in the past. You look at a star 30,000 light years away and see how it was 30,000 years ago, when those photons left it. Which means we could reasonably pick up sus stuff that motivates a visit, but also means Holloway would understand the concept of being late to the fucking party lmao).

This entire idea, going on a very distant trip to an unknown system, could use time to have anxiety built around it. People could push with serious argument, highlight in universe disasters that happened during similar blind trips, etc. The emptiness and harshness of space are very easy to capitalise on, and going to an unknown system without sending probes first could help frame this as a risky venture, having us on edge and also showing the depth of faith of Shaw and Holloway. BUT ALSO the depth of wicked corporate slavery Weyland can go to, with the rest of the crew hired without any information that would let them make an informed choice on this job.

The arrival around the planet could be spent scanning and being professional. If we spend actual time scanning the surface and following reasonable protocols, the audience won't be poking fun at your show/film for showcasing scientists doing unsafe/idiotic stuff, and also have time to get attached to the red shirts! So it'll hurt when they begin dying!

I think the fans of alien would also appreciate a show that takes its time with the alien world discovery aspect? I feel like these films have neither the time nor the inclination to lean into the science and discovery aspect. Like it happens, but it's not indulged in or treated seriously. Yet aren't we also fans of Arrival? Of Annihilation? Or JC's Avatar?

There are scifi films out there that expect us to be invested in the discovery process, and we are! But Alien isn't one of those franchises. Every film I've seen so far has the science kept secret (Ash), already ruined (Romulus), aborted or discarded in the face of action, but also entirely handwaved or ignored (Prometheus and Covenant)

Like honest to god, you have an Android who is the only one paying attention to ALIEN WRITING and immediately knows HOW TO USE IT and nobody gives a shit, asks about it, is curious about annotating it or even learning it. It's never even mentioned? Like What the Actual Fuck? And in a film where the main goal is to find the aliens in question to have a chat to them, nobody is interested in decrypting the language??

Going back to our timeline, since we have time for the exploration process, we can begin ramping up the anxiety. We can make up some fun new stuff, like this:

What if we were blocked from communications? We could have the characters make incredible discoveries (that the buildings are made by real aliens would be exciting enough, but writing on the walls??) and promptly our crew realises that all communications are being jammed. Not between them, but between the main ship and anywhere else in the galaxy. Maybe the entire system is shrouded somehow and they have literally no idea how. Can't figure the tech behind it or its source. You can start having the one security/military guy announce they should retreat. After all, the planet is there, the buildings have been there for a very long time, they should go and come back later. It'd be more secure to figure out the range of this jamming and maybe call in reinforcement.

We can start dividing the crew! With all the scientists basically too over the moon to mind, and Weyland a silent driving force who doesn't give a shit!!

I think that Holloway sticking to protocol and not removing his helmet at all would help making the confusion and angst greater if he started showing symptoms like his wormy eyes. When did it happen? Was bringing the head aboard a mistake? Was that all it took? ((David grinning in the background))

We could then enjoy an entire episode of mounting paranoia and terror as the show splits between the geologist and biologist stranded in the building and the Prometheus crew growing paranoid and further divided: what if the team was split between the science crew and the ship crew? The scientists are containing Holloway and getting absolutely horrified by what they see happening to him, while the workers are being kept in the dark and told nothing.

A downtrodden and disrespected Wey-yu worker POV wouldn't hurt!

I personally think that Holloway basically morphing/dissolving/losing himself in front of the scientists while they all fail to understand what's happening to him and are completely incapable of stabilising him would be far more horrifying than his suicide by immolation at the hands of a neurotic billionaire. It would also make David's jab about Shaw's dad dying of Ebola more impactful. Rewatched the movie recently and was like "what, her dad died burnt alive before her too??? Oh..."

By the time David finds an Engineer alive, tensions could be high enough that the ship would be on the cusp of mutiny. A good writer could make us really feel 50-50 on "value of answers from a live engineer" vs. "getting the fuck away from this planet".

Also "the engineers are us, we have the same DNA" bit is flat out stupid and leaves a million more questions than it answers, and zero mystery besides. This concept could be much better explored for angst. There are so many directions we could go!

Their DNA could contain every human genome and then more. It could change while it's observed. It could be related to us without being a perfect match. Better yet: it could refuse observation, making every machine bug out and return invalid results. Just stuff to keep us on our toes while David does his parallel observations on the black goo.

Even if we go in depth in the genomics, explaining the thing doesn't have to destroy the appeal of the thing.

I think in particular that we could explain the engineers themselves as our creators and users of the goo, only to thicken the plot as we realise they have no fucking clue what they're doing with it and we're a stray experiment left to run wild in a forgotten petri dish. The idea that the engineers used but did not understand the goo, that it was a tool they inherited themselves from fucking around darker, deeper corners of the galaxy, would be cool.

WORSE yet, it would be interesting to discover they themselves were made by some other culture/force/entity/creation process, and we are like... a by-product. What if we are the David 8 of the engineers, who are the David 8's of something else yet? Or that the Engineers aren't even "made in the image of" their creators? Maybe the whole likeness (between them, us, and our androids) is just a recent tendency we're showing, but not something the Engineers have to share with their own creators.

We could come seeking answers, and realise the Engineers didn't even have any themselves. We could be left to realise we are just the mold on the rind of a cheese, far from understanding the intricacies of 5-star dining. That's how far removed we are from understanding the forces at play.

This would be plenty cosmic horror.

God is a well polished concept, but we have a very narrow and human centric understanding of it, and it may be meaningless. Imagine if you saw Shaw lose faith only to regain it with a streak of madness? Imagine if we had the time to explore what a cosmic horror on the scale of "At the mountains of madness" would do to a religious modern person who has come searching answers and found more than she could take?

If Shaw were a Lovecraft protag, she'd say stuff like the black goo being the blood of the gods that made the Engineers, all bled dry now. Weird poetic shit should come back xD

Also. Close your eyes for a second and imagine the scene of David speaking to the Engineer. And for the lolz, let's say that the Engineer speaks back, and David adjusts, and they end up having what looks like a meaningful exchange of a few words.

Then the Engineer pats his head and wrenches him apart, and the ending comes around, only for David to staunchly refuse to ever elaborate on what the Engineer told him. Certainly another great reason to keep him around...

I hope I've made my point. If more than 50 people lose their shit on this post, I'll make a Covenant TV show post too, though it's more of a fixer-upper.

Bonus for reaching the end, a happy David:

The ultimate argument, of course, is that given 16-18 episodes of great Prometheus TV, we would have had so much more David...

[gwynrieldreams]

It just striked me so hard how boring Elriel is as a ship.

Or maybe it's because of what Elriels have invisioned. Elain is apparantly already very happy and content in the night court. Her family, the IC is with her and so is her second family, Azriel and the wraiths. Her and Azriel are already in love and the only thing that stands in their way of their ultimate happily ever after are 2 redheads. One who would accept rejection and the other who's literally just minding her own business.

Then there's the fact that apparantly you.. aren't allowed to be cold to Elain? No, you have to be very nice and soft with her! The wraiths are good enough to be friends with her cause they'd never challenge her, unlike Vassa and Jurian.

No Elain absolutely never did anything wrong! She's perfect and very powerful!

- they've made fun of gwynriel cause Azriel wasn't already so trusting with Gwyn in the bonus chapter. Laughing that he doesn't consider her a friend.. like??? Yeah?? Why would I want them to be already in love? Lmao it's not the end of the world that they aren't close?? It makes perfect sense that they aren't. I actually prefer it that way.

Same with Elucien. Because they aren't close it means it's a lost cause! Elain isn't comfortable with Lucien! (even though we don't know why and Lucien hasn't done anything to make her feel that way).

Maybe it's just cause they want Gwyn and Lucien out of their way, which is why those 2 could never win in their eyes no matter what. Azriel thinking nothing beyond sexual fantasies is fine and understandable but how dare Lucien breath the same air as Elain?! He's abusive! How dare he stay away 7 courts away from her?! He doesn't care about her!

Idk. I'm just not interested in reading a book about a girl who has everything she wants and everyone loves her and her obstacles very easy to overcome. Why does Elain's love interest have be a complete simp? Elriels can't even take the smallest inconvenience. Lucien giving her gifts on Winter solstice is enough to traumatize them I guess.

I want to read Gwynriel's whole progress. I can take Azriel being harsh or not trusting to her sometimes. I'm cool with it. I want them to go from 0% to 100% in a full book, ON PAGE. I want them to challange each other.

It's all over the place but I hope you get what I'm trying to say..

To be fair, I get why some people want to read a story about defying fate and god and say fuck to all of that, I will follow my heart BUT I don't think they will find that sort of thing in SJM's books, let alone in elriel.

Azriel, like the rest of the ic, puts her in a box. He constantly unknowingly contradicts her wishes during acosf. Elain wants to scry for the Trove, Azriel doesn't want her to. Elain doesn't want to be fought over, Azriel wants to fight for her. Azriel contemplating killing her mate just because he assumed she's not interested WITHOUT EVER DISCUSSING IT WITH HER! (I love Az but he made me so mad in this part). Even in acowar nobody acknowledged her part in killing Hybern, but Lucien. Lucien has done nothing but respect her wishes.

I've already made a post about it but I will shortly explain why elriel doesn't make sense to me. Their "romance" could end in like 5 chapters. Elain rejects Lucien, Lucien accepts it, they live happily ever after. There is not going to be any Blood Duel between them because if it did then sb would have to die. SJM can't kill her characters. Even if she did though, who would lead the next vassien book that all elriels like to claim will happen? If there's no conflict and everything is perfect how is that a good story? What would be the logic in making Lucien the villain in the elriel book and in the next we'd have to fall in love with him through Vassa's eyes?

The irony is that her stans also fight over her and baby her like no other. As if she so fragile, she will break if she faces any kind of inconvenience. I'm sorry to be the one to tell them but Elain in her book will probably go through shit -like any other mc- because that's what makes a good story. If you want to read about Elain frolicking in flower fields and baking go read a fanfic.

Let's not forget Azriel is never going to reject his mate. Gwyn and Az are perfect for each other in so many ways.

"He didn't consider her a friend, but..." First of all this happened in the Winter Solstice, when they barely knew each other. Second, I thought it was a wink wink monent as in he hasn't "friendzoned" her, so maybe they can be friends or sth more(?) I definitely wouldn't want to be best bros with the guy I liked. I don't know if SJM will go with the friends to lovers route, I wouldn't mind it. I'd personally prefer if they had more like a rivalry, constantly challenging and teasing each other (maybe because that's how I flirt 😅 but I also think that's more SJM's style).

[tearcynical]

Cooked up some doodles for you since I haven't been drawing my favorites in a while!! ( @pastry3 )

Also colored this one to test metal coloring stuff

[gunsatthaphan]

✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘  @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

[inklore]

—🍊. 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐔'𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓

this is not a writing challenge, this is just a list of summer au's that have been collecting dust in my google docs that i'm both sick of looking at, and also feel like for those who also really enjoy writing summery fics, could always use more inspiration or ideas for au's or scenario's (even if it's just smutty or fluffy blurbs).

please make note that anyone can use these for any fandom or character. it's literally for everyone, for whatever ship, gender, or verse. no one owns au's and everyone makes them their own and writes differently. so please do with the content below as you wish!!

you don't gotta tag me if you use one but would i love to read your beautiful work? hell yeah so feel free to if ya feel like it.

i separated each into categories + some might have added context or prompts because i have zero self control and like to be extra and add ideas onto things lmao.

hopefully someone finds these fun and helpful, happy writing my loves <3

LOCATION.

beach

ocean

ice cream parlor

lake town

ranch

summer camp

summer school

island

boat

fishing town

resort

the woods

national park

public pool

destination wedding

renaissance fair

lake house

bar

theme park

capecod

italy

winery / vinyards

country club

cruise ship

concert

RELATIONSHIP BASED.

brothers best friend ('unfortunately' spending the summer with your family)

neighbors au

exes back for the summer

bodyguard au (character a has to follow around reader whose some princess/rich girl on a vacation, bonus points if she's supposed to be on lockdown but refuses to stay at the hotel, even more bonus points if her parents sent her on this vacation as a rehabilitation for her bad habits)

best friends dad (you're spending the summer with your bestie and god her dads hot as hell)

mermaid x human

frat boy x good girl (last minute studying together before summer break, or maybe the frat is throwing a big grad party and reader decides to let loose for the first time in forever)

frat boy x sorority girl (it's giving rich hoes who can't stand each other who get caught doing something and have to do community service with each other alllll summerrrrr long, can you think of anything worse?!)

sitcom stars (they're both on some summer love show but fall for each other instead, or you're two celebs supposed to be fake dating on some mtv drama show in palm springs but you actually fall for each other)

park ranger x someone who thought going camping alone would be fun but oh shit i know nothing about the wilderness au

ex-best friends ex (a summer love but put revenge and 'we're only fucking because this friend screwed me over and it'll really show them' au anyone??)

lifeguard x parent au (or you saved my life let me repay you wink wink)

dads best friend

house sitter x house owner (or neighbor, or family member who came home early and wtf are you doing here and who are you?? or even the old i asked the neighbor to watch our house but also my wife wink wink)

babysitter who tags along on vacation with the family au

fake dating (for the summer)

friends to lovers was made for summer au's!!!

superhero x vigilante (nightly meet ups to keep the streets safe)

friends with benefits but only for the summer au

painter x muse

body found on beach x person who found them (+ the added bonus of the two of them working together to figure out wtf happened and how they got there)

sugar baby x sugar whathaveyou (free vacation? hell yeah)

roommates (renting a room for summer what could go wrong)

tour guide / local x tourist

camp counselor x parent of camper

friend group on a drama filled vacay au

the only single people at this resort for couples au

sad housewife x pool boy

DARK THEMED.

cult au

slasher au

hitchhiking gone wrong (or right)

monster au (summer is the perfect time to go exploring for the monster in the woods or the lake, ocean even, obviously)

haunted house au

ghost hunting au

hunter x prey (bonus points if they don't know they're being hunted until it's too late)

safe house au (gone wrong)

kidnapping au (it's giving 365 days but less shitty ok)

stranded au (on an island, in a creepy town, etc)

bestie's trip gone wrong au (the innocent looking guys at the pool who are gorgeous are actually super shitty and deadly omg, or the couple in the hotel room next to us are insane wow, or someone is killing us off...but it's someone within the friend group)

stuck in an abandoned amusement park au

INSPIRED BY.

grease au

dirty dancing au

x au (70s-80s pornstars au + added slasher element if ya wanna make it dark)

daisy jones & the six / rocker au (summer tour anyone?)

the white lotus (cheating au?? a couple hoping a vacation will fix their marriage, maybe even the whole shitty husband leaves you there and you fall for one of the resort workers)

50 first dates au (but make it 'i bet i can make you fall in love with me by the end of summer)

jurassic park au

i know what you did last summer au

friday the 13th au

the final girls au (aka you end up in your favorite movie and have to find your way out with a side of 'oh shit there's my fav character what if i stayed and made them fall in love with me instead', or go full final girls au and you're stuck in a cult horror movie and have to survive the night to get out of it)

outer banks / goonies au

schitt's creek au

romeo and juliet (1996) au

mama mia au (the prequeal tho aka boning a bunch of people and omg i'm pregnant who is the baby daddy tho??)

overboard au

OCCUPATIONS.

naturalist

farmers market vender

dog walker / dog sitter

dive bar singer

surfer

swim instructor

vet

journalist

camp counselor

author

cowboy

undercover pi

contractor

car wash attendant

lifeguard

gardener / landscaper

summer intern

tour guide

tutor

nanny

theme park owner

bartender

house sitter

summer farmhand

golf course caddy

sign-holder

movie theatre worker

uber driver

wedding photographer

hotel receptionist

RANDOM.

heatwave (how ever will we stay cool?)

shipwreck / stranded on an island au

rainstorm / hurricane au (stuck inside oh no what will we do??)

love triangle that shit

matchmaking au

love letters in a bottle au

drunken karaoke

kissing in the rain is top tier

workaholic letting loose au

(illegal) car racing au

road trip au

[longing-for-rain]

Just so you know, some of your anons are coming from a blog called @mal3vol3nt

I do not know if you’re aware, but she’s chronically obsessed with you and has also been sharing your ao3 on Twitter and inciting harassment there too, saying you’re “racist” and a “degenerate” and accusing you of writing underage. Her blog lately is mainly posts about you and it sounds very similar to some of your anons

I had to check this out for myself and...wow. All I can say is just...wow 🤣

No, I actually had no idea who this person was but from the looks of it she's been obsessed with me for months? I guess that explains the anons, I knew these people were mad, but apparently they've been over here steaming over my takes and are legitimately terrified of me. And I didn't even know them! Didn't realize I've been doing numbers on Twitter (or X whatever it is now) despite never having an account.

(The rest is below; please don't click if you do not wish to see insensitive discussions of rape or if you are not in the mood to read opinions so malformed they will melt your brain)

I guess I have another angry little troll who doesn't know what a captial letter is obsessed with me. Wish I could say it was the first time, but alas. A lot of particularly funny things here though.

> Advertising your terrible ragebait Twitter like anyone finds you important

Lmao.

> "write fanfiction of katara being raped so zuko can save her"

What a terrible misread of the point of that story, but then again, I don't expect much else from a terminally online crybaby who exclusively consumes media for children. If you can't handle adult discussions about adult topics, maybe don't read stories that are clearly marked 18+ and with far more extensive trigger warnings than any mainstream media will give you.

> "measuring the size of her breasts and hips"

Lmao. I said she is drawn differently in different scenes. That's it. You guys are another level of unhinged.

> "obviously fetishes and racism"

It's kind of creepy how they sexualize Zutara, while simultaneously accusing us of doing that. Why do you assume a fetish is the only reason behind someone liking a ship? Why would you say this about a group of people including many black, brown, and indigenous women? And minors? And if you want to get into the whole fetish thing, don't even get me started on the shit I've seen from the kataang fandom. Hint: when I say some of you have a "mommy fetish" I mean it in a very literal sense. Not to mention the whole kataang rape discord debacle.

> "sick fantasies about these minor characters"

I have never depicted a minor in a sexual situation. I make a point to explicitly avoid doing that, and all characters are depicted as adults. Your lack of media literacy isn't an argument. If you're going to criticize my writing, at least read it, which you clearly didn't. And if the content is too upsetting for you, you clearly lack the maturity to engage in these kinds of discussions.

Imagine treating ship discourse this seriously, actually unhinged. Who said that Ember Island Players is the real Katara? What? She talks a big number about coke-fueled rants, must have given it a try herself. How do you expect to be taken seriously when you never say anything of substance and screech "racism" or "colonizer" every other word but can't even articulate the significance of those terms? Honestly, at this point you sound like a right-winger who thinks saying "but I'm [identity] and I agree with [opinion]" is a golden ticket to winning every argument.

And look at this: apparently I deserved all the things she and her friends sent me? Actually I respect this take, at least she's honest about it unlike the people who cry and backpeddle when they get caught red-handed.

I'm actually cackling at this one. Genuinely laughing; my neighbors are probably concerned. It's like you took every single Bad Person Allegation and threw it into a blender. And to top it all off, apparently 24 is "pushing 30" now LMAO. And apparently I, a lesbian, could only possibly like Zutara because I think Zuko is hot. Not to mention the way they entirely miss the point of Zutara, but ATLA itself, by insisting that Zuko is a "violent imperialist" who is apparently unworthy of love by anyone who does not share his skin tone. Kind of ironic coming from the people crying that I'm a racist who doesn't understand the show. Next level clownery.

This is so funny. These people are absolutely terrified of me, no amount of unhinged anons will hide that. It's fine for men to tell me I deserve rape and death, that I'm a dirty pervert for daring to speak out about sexual trauma, and that women's sexual trauma is nothing but a fetish, but if I respond to that man telling him he should die for being so disrespectful and misogynistic to rape victims, I'm the monster? I stand by it. If you think what he said about rape and rape victims is acceptable, especially if you're a man, die! Hang from ropes, as I said.🥰

I guess I should be really scared though. This is clearly a very influential figure in the fandom who is renowned for her enlightened wisdom on the plight of fictional cartoon characters against evil imperialists like me (adult with job).

...oh wait. I was excited for a minute, I thought I was dealing with a celebrity. But even the "callouts" struggle to hit 20 notes :/

And to everyone sending me positivity during this time, thank you very much! But I wanted to show you this to assure you I'm doing just fine. People can act as weird as they want behind a gray face, but after seeing the kinds of whiny little brats they are in reality, it's pretty hard to take it seriously. "I got my plane ticket" my ass, that would require you to leave your decaying, trash-filled apartment.

[canadianlucifer]

I'd like to thank you for single handedly carrying the tg tumblr scene rn.

any fic recs?

preferrebly gen but i'll take anything atp

i feel like atlas carrying the world now jk jk, tysm!! I couldn't do it without everyone else in the fandom keeping me motivated and inspiring me to make content tho!

As for fic recs, I honestly don't read much so I don't have a lot to recommend, but I do have a few!

The only gen one that comes to mind at the moment is The Black Tapes, it's a canon divergence story where Yamori recorded what he did to Kaneki on VHS tapes which the CCG then found and watched, leading Amon to realize that Kaneki was not actually born a ghoul and that the CCG might not be as just as he once thought...

As for non-gen/ship fics, Tokyo is a no-ghouls au by @just-another-tokyo-ghoul-fan about Kaneki getting roped into a toxic relationship with Rize and Hide being a bat-shit insane but also really good friend who also happens to be crushing on him

@tg-headcanons has a series of fics set in an awesome au where Kaneki is rescued from aogiri very quickly the Anteiku raid never happens, They Left His Arm is my favourite because hey, I'm a seiakimon shipper, what did you expect? Haha, but they're all super good!

Other than that... well, I guess I'll self promote my own current fic project, Yellow Roses. It's about Takizawa escaping aogiri and going back to the CCG against his will bc Akira fucked up and she's trying to apologize but he's traumatized and pissed off and she doesn't know how to use her damn words lmao (and while yes I do ship them, I wanted this fic to focus on their friendship so there's no romance at all here!) (also yes I know the art is broken i just haven't had the energy to fix it lol)

That's all for long-form fics, though there are a couple of much shorter one shots I could recommend if you're interested!

[askthisfishprince]

✨Official Disclaimer/FAQ Master Post✨

I'm going to be pinning this one, just in case anyone has questions or hopefully make some things easier to find! Will also add things as I need to.

Questions Regarding Timelines or “Canon”

I don't have an exact timeline in my head for this blog. In my imagination, Eridan and the other trolls are just alive again and in the present, and all the previous storylines still exist within it. The difference is that it takes place after the comic, so everyone is an adult just going along for the ride lol I guess that's what I'm going for 🤷‍♀️

I apologize if I stray away from the "canon"... I try to stay as true to the characters and their dynamics as I can. But sometimes it's just fun to be a bit silly and go off book for the sake of adding some humor. Also….it is an ask blog of a character that died pretty early on and did not get much in the “character development” department lol So again, I do my best to write him as “canon” to his true attitude and behavior as I can. But it can get very hard to give nuance to a guy who overall was pretty shitty, didn’t have much dialogue in the first place while also giving him a fake timeline that takes place a couple years down the line and allow him to have a crumb of self improvement without it coming off as too ooc. So if you see behavior that you don't think is accurate to him…..i promise I do my best…….i have google docs and PowerPoints on this guy lol so I promise the brain rot runs deep

Why I Haven’t Answered Your Question

If you notice that I have not answered your question there are multiple factors.

I couldn’t come up with decent enough dialogue that I felt was good enough to respond with. I am extremely stubborn

I work a full time job and just couldn’t find the time to :(

It was a very strange question and I have no idea what to say lol usually sexual, creepy, violent etc

I have gotten multiple of the same question and I am currently working on a reply.

I waited too long and I feel too bad to respond now ❤️

I can tell if you are spamming me with the same question even if you are anonymous lol And I'm sorry but I won't answer those lol

My inbox is actually insane at times and I genuinely can’t get to everyone :(

I promise I read every single question and I appreciate all of them!! Even the creepy ones.

But I am one person running this blog on my own time with a full time job with only so much time during the day 😔 I also have rampant adhd that can make it very hard to complete certain things

“Will I be making more content of Eridan and *insert character*”

I try to avoid having strict shipping content on here. I don't want this blog to become limited in my responses because I inadvertently turned it into a shipping blog. I do enjoy dropping hints, but for the most part, I prefer to keep things open so that I don't unintentionally limit myself. I also don't want fans who ship other things to feel like they can't ask questions about different characters or scenarios.

I do not have any “headcannons” that I am against or a ride or die for…but….please do not send me any Cronus and Eridan shipping questions. It is very yucky to me. I outright ignore the ministrife….i pretend to not see it 🥰

Am I An Eridan “Defender”?

No lmao

I’m not gonna write down my whole pathetic analysis on him. But I’m not gonna be here at my old age defending a fictional fish guy who boasted about the aspects of eugenics and harass people who disagree?? What is this?? 2013? lol

If you hate him and think he is awful. That is 100000% A-okay! You are allowed to! And I understand lmao

If you ever want to actually talk about Eridan openly, and discuss him as a character or anything. Just dm me! :)

Also just a reminder to clarify that my writing for Eridan does not necessarily reflect my personal feelings. If you ask “Eridan” about certain characters and my response seems mean or nasty, please note that it doesn't mean I dislike the ship or character. Eridan is not particularly friendly, even towards people he likes, so I try not to insert too much of my own feelings into his responses.

(Erisol, EriRox, eridan and literally everybody lmao….except maybe Karkat…..thats his bro…)

Tags

All of my Eridan responses will always be tagged under my url “askthisfishprince”

Any questions directed at me that I post responses for will be under

“NotEridanAsks”

How To View The Post Properly

Whenever I make a response, I try to keep things as clear as possible! Any text in the description or in the tags that does NOT have (()) around it, means thats Eridan talking.

Anything besides that is ✨me✨ lol

Always check the tags for extra dialogue! :) and also always check for “read more” because sometimes I add extra silly doodles lol

Also sometimes I give my two cents as to why I did something a certain way in the tags. So if you care to hear me Yap, check the tags.

Also if you ever want to send an ask to me, either state in the ask that its for op or just put (()) around it! :)