#my self respect is non existent | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sanakiras · 1 year ago

Text

BLOOM FOR ME

PAIRING — finance major!mingyu x law major!reader

WORD COUNT — 18.1k

SYNOPSIS — even though you and mingyu share the same friends, there’s a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it — not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.

TAGS — college au, slice of life, strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, fem!reader, slowburn-ish, rollercoaster of somewhat unrealistic events, minor use of the fake dating trope, not proofread, explicit sexual content, inexpressive!reader, fear of intimacy, once again a fic that seemed better in my head than the finished product but idc!

♪ — pearly drops - bloom for me,, kid cudi - kitchen,, the fugees & ms lauryn hill - killing me softly with his song

NOTE — sooo this fic is pure self-indulgence because i wrote mc as a character very similar to myself! some of these scenes are based on my own experiences :D my personality type is intj which i incorporated a lot here, do with that what you will x

you and kim mingyu just don't work.

to be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him — which makes sense, ‘cause he seems to have it all. he’s smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.

and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.

all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.

you’re not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends — chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. you’re closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.

soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and he’s loud — extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine you’ve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved — a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.

and then there’s mingyu.

he studies finance, though he’s considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what you’ve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.

the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. he’s popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.

you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.

yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you don’t come with — because that’s just the way you are.

perhaps that’s the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.

non-existent.

neither of you have anything against each other — it’s just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when you’re not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying you’ve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.

for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the other’s existence.

or, well — that used to be the case.

because there’s this dirty secret the friend group doesn’t know about — and that’s that you and mingyu slept together.

it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoung’s party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you — way more drunk than usual, it was terrible — and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room you’d never seen before, a bed that definitely didn’t feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.

had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldn’t have gotten into bed with him.

it’s not that you don’t find him attractive. on the contrary. he’s sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin — it’s no surprise he’s done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.

but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. they’re not his either.

neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so it’s practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and you’ve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.

after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.

but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.

when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after you’ve walked out of your criminal law class, you’re not exactly welcoming to him.

“what are you doing at the other side of campus?” is all you greet him with.

“i’m good, thank you for asking.” he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you don’t pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. “i, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoung’s party.”

“what’s there to talk about?”

“what we did. together.”

“we fucked. so what?”

oh. that’s a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.

“well—” he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, “don’t you think it’s something we gotta discuss?”

“you want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?” you ask with a furrowed brow. “not that i’d be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.”

“yeah, i can’t exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i don’t usually hook up with people i’m friends with—”

“except we’re not friends. i don’t think you’ve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.”

even though it’s true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he can’t pinpoint. he’s aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.

“fine. we’re just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.” he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. “doesn’t that matter to you?”

sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. “did your roommate notice me?”

his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, you’re pretty sure.

“no. he didn’t see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.”

“good. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?” the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.

“yeah.” he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.

to be completely honest, he’s not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you could’ve worded it differently.

many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if that’s the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesn’t, aside from considerably shorter legs?

he’s not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, he’s discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.

mingyu is unsure of how to handle the situation with you. every time you look at him, all he sees is utter disinterest, though there’s very little he can make out of your facial expressions in the first place.

he finds himself seated at a table in the library with minghao, seungcheol and chan, pondering over the exam he’s got coming up at the end of the week, said thoughts coming to a halt once he spots you at the other side of the hall.

his gaze involuntarily follows you as you appear to be scanning a few bookshelves.

if he’s being honest, he’d already noticed you before the drunk-sex incident. he always thought you were pretty, and based on your your vocabulary and the way you spoke, he figured you were intelligent as well, so he silently admired you from afar.

and now, those feelings have only increased.

his eyes linger on your figure. it’s such a fucking shame he doesn’t remember his hands on your skin, the touch of your lips — he could actually cry just imagining it.

then he feels he’s getting too far in the sexual innuendos in his head, so he tells himself to stop right the hell now before his excitement starts to show in his pants.

god, he’s never like this. why is it irking him so much?

it’s chan — the youngest of the group — who grabs your attention, beckoning for you to come over to the table.

when you move to sit down on the empty chair between him and seungcheol, they begin to talk about how the shitty assignments they’re working on are so not worth their time, how one of cheol’s professors didn’t bother showing up for his lecture yesterday morning, and minghao mentions something about a new group project of his—

��and the whole fucking time, you feel mingyu’s gaze burning on you.

it both confuses and intrigues you. what the hell does he want now?

then when two of the boys get into a discussion, you stare right back at him, almost as if to tell him you’re aware of him watching you and you’re watching him as well, and a very thick yet silent tension rises between you.

he swears he catches the smallest glimpse of amusement in your features before you get up and tell them you’ve got to go to your lecture.

cheol raises his thick brow at his friend. “you’re uncharacteristically quiet.”

mingyu shrugs as he watches you walk out of the hall. “yeah, sorry. been a little preoccupied.”

“i can tell, ‘cause aren’t you supposed to be starting football practice right now?”

that snaps him out of it. he checks the silver watch sitting on his wrist, cursing to himself before grabbing his things and hastily throwing them into his bag before sprinting to his dorm.

the following day, as he’s working on his assignment, he decides to take out his phone, typing your username into the search bar on instagram.

your social media profile is as mysterious as you are. zero posts, some pretty aesthetic pictures found in your highlights as well as one or two with you on it, though blurry or with your face partially hidden.

it’s usually much easier for him to get close to people, yet with this, with you — it feels like the way is blocked, and he doesn’t know where to start.

tapping his finger on the table, he tells himself to make some kind of conversation with you the next time he sees you.

which is several days later, when the friend group is meeting up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks.

by the time he arrives — later than planned due to a study session running behind — everyone is already seated, including you. he’d hoped to secure a spot next to you for once, but you’re seated between joshua and seungcheol instead. the only vacant spot is at the other side of the table.

well, shit.

the worst thing is that you don’t seem to spare him a single glance. every time he looks your way, you’re either zoned out or intently listening to the boys around you as they tell their stories, with you throwing in a sarcastic little quip every now and then, making them laugh.

what he doesn’t notice is that you do look at him — he’d be surprised by the amount of times your eyes wander back to him, subtly observing him from a distance when he rambles about something his professor did during class or what went down during football practice.

he’s so handsome that it almost gets annoying to look at him.

it’s an hour before midnight when you decide to get going — you have an unnecessarily early class tomorrow and still gotta get back to your dorm. so you grab your coat and bag, announcing you’re leaving, after which they say they don’t like the idea of you going back on your own, but you refute it and tell them you’ll be fine like always.

“i can take you. i just remembered i gotta catch up with some things anyways before class tomorrow.”

mingyu’s sudden statement makes you blink at him a few times.

it’s not that he’s never offered to take you home before, ever the gentleman, but the situation always ends up with you either going home on your own with them keeping an eye on your location or one of the other guys taking you back, so his sudden eagerness to escort you to your dorm catches you by surprise.

it’s mainly joshua and minghao who catch onto your slight change in demeanor, but their puzzled looks are gone as soon as they came. they’ve had quite a few drinks, after all, and you’re pretty sure soonyoung is so drunk he’s on the verge of tears at the other side of the table, distracting them.

both you and mingyu say your goodbyes to the rest of the group before exiting the restaurant, embracing the fresh air outside.

it’s early october, your favorite time of year. you’re fond of the cloudy skies, the temperature right between warm and cold, and the leaves changing colors.

mingyu walks next to you on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark denim jacket.

“i’m sorry for being rude the other day,” you speak up, breaking the silence, “i have a habit of being too straightforward for my own good.”

oh.

he didn’t expect this from you, but it’s a pleasant surprise, even if you’re not looking him in the eye at all.

so he shrugs. “it’s okay. looking back, i didn’t really know where i wanted the conversation to go, anyways.”

“i assumed you were just gonna ask me to keep it between us.”

“i didn’t even think about that, to be honest. i just don’t do stuff like that with friends, so... i guess i was just curious about your thoughts or something.”

you bare your teeth in a bitter smile, still refraining from looking in his direction when he’s clearly looking at your face. “you called me your friend again.”

the comment doesn’t sit right with him. “do you mind me asking why that bothers you?”

“it bothers me ‘cause it’s not the truth.”

god, you certainly do not sugarcoat things.

“do you... is there anything i did to make you dislike me?”

mingyu watches the way you clench your jaw at his question. it intrigues him. “i never said i disliked you, mingyu. i’m just picky about who i consider close to me and i don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. sharing friends doesn’t make us friends.”

“not even a little bit?”

you chuckle again. he wonders what he’d have to do to elicit a real, genuine laugh from you. “name one of my hobbies. something i like to do in my spare time. the basics don’t count.”

he eagerly starts his sentence. “well, you like to... y’know... hang out with us.”

“i said no basics.”

“okay. fine. you got me. but, to be fair, you also gotta admit you don’t exactly share much.”

“you know who i do share things with? my friends.” you tease him, after which he laughs. you like the sound of his laugh.

“you’re evil.”

“thank you.”

he turns around, walking backwards in front of you so he can face you, finally getting the eye contact he’s been waiting to get. “i wanna be friends.”

“congratulations.”

“oh, c’mon. work with me here.”

“i would if it wasn’t so much fun to see you acting like this.”

mingyu feels a certain excitement rushing through his body when he sees how you look at him. “let’s get to know each other better. how about twenty questions?”

“oh, you mean like a conversation?”

he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “i’ll go first. what’s a hobby of yours?”

“such depth,” you snicker, “i like to ice skate.”

“really? that’s cool.” he smiles, tilting his head. “okay. you gotta ask me a question now.”

“which of your friends is closest to you?”

yeah, he should’ve seen something like that coming. of course you wouldn’t go for small talk.

he ponders over the question before giving his answer. “minghao.”

“hm. interesting.” you just hum, clearly having no intention of explaining it, so you gesture for him to come up with another question.

“do you think you’ll ever be close with me?”

“no.”

“why?”

“not your turn.” you tell him, simultaneously trying to find out how far you can take this. “how many girls have you slept with?”

“four. why do you think we won’t ever be close friends?”

“because we’re too different. you can’t stand the fact that i give nothing away, i can sense it a mile from here.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“i’m… i don’t know, a people person. i want to get along with everyone, want everyone i like to like me. maybe that’s selfish, but… yeah. i like you and i wanna be your friend. it bothers me that you don’t.” he feels the words suddenly tumbling out of his mouth are taking the conversation elsewhere, so he tries his best to not come across as too intense. “i’m sorry for pestering you about it, i’ll just... walk you to your dorm and leave you be.”

he wants to increase the distance between you, but you don’t let him. your hand moves to his upper arm, touching him, but it’s gone before he can even look at it.

physical touch has never been one of your strong points, despite craving it at the same time. “i’m gonna say it one more time and that’s it — i don’t dislike you. maybe… i don’t know, maybe we could have a strong friendship, who knows. if you wanna prove me wrong, be my guest. i won’t stop you.”

“okay. anything i should know?”

you pout your lips as you think of things to mention. “i’m not a huge fan of texting. i prefer calling or meeting up in person. i’m more of a listener than a talker. i’m also a bit of a control freak so i’m not big on surprises. that’s all you’re getting for now.”

he thinks over your words and smiles. “i can work with that.”

not much later, you arrive at the university campus, and you use your card to enter your building, walking out front.

mingyu clearly feels it’s mandatory to follow you all the way to your door.

once you’ve arrived at your dorm, you lean against the doorpost. “thanks for taking me home.”

“you’re welcome. see you tomorrow.” he says. normally he’d give his friends something like a hug when saying goodbye like this, but he has a gut feeling you’re not very fond of physical contact with people who aren’t close to you, so he lets that go for now.

“bye.” the playful smile is audible in your voice before you close your door, and mingyu leaves your building with a sickeningly nice feeling in his stomach.

and he remains on your mind, especially once you watch him walk towards his own dorm from behind the window, unaware of your gaze.

it makes you scoff to yourself. you’ll give it to him — he’s sparked your interest.

“hey. mingyu.”

he’s roughly pulled from observing you in his secure spot in the university library by jeonghan, his partner for a project he’s working on. “what?”

“what’s going on? you’re awfully distracted.”

“it’s—nothing.” he responds, voice an octave higher. maybe he should quit this habit of looking at you every time he comes here.

“has anyone ever told you you’re a shitty liar?”

“many times, actually.”

“good. ‘cause you are.”

jeonghan is shorter than he is, with more of a lanky physique and slightly longer hair. he’s also the most annoying little shit mingyu knows — despite the guy being older than him — because he somehow. knows. everything. all the time. he knows things about mingyu before he knows them himself. if anything, it’s a talent.

“so who’s the girl?” jeonghan then asks in a more hushed tone, using his pencil to point at the girl in question.

mingyu looks in your direction again, taking notice of how nice you look today, and he just gives in to his friend, not even bothering to try and act stupid. “friend of a friend.”

“what does she do?”

“law.”

“she nice?”

“to a specific group of people, yeah.”

“oh, she’s a little mean to you, huh?”

“not mean. just distant. very distant.”

“that’s new.”

“what is?”

“you going for girls like that. it’s refreshing.”

“yeah, well—she doesn’t go for guys like me.”

“what do you mean?”

“i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me at all. she’s wildly unimpressed by my presence, anyway.”

“how do you know?”

mingyu sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “she’s very close with joshua and seokmin, likes the rest of the guys too, but me… i don’t know. we’ve been in the same friend group for a year, and it’s like i’m the only one she doesn’t feel comfortable with. bothers me.”

“you’ve known her for a whole year and it’s only bothering you now?” jeonghan senses there’s more going on. “what led up to this? got into an argument?”

the younger of the two scoffs. “not at all. the contrary, actually.”

jeonghan jokingly throws in the first thing he can think of. “what, did you accidentally kiss her when you were drunk or something?”

“not entirely. we were both drunk, for starters.” mingyu comments, the next sentence muttered much more quietly. “and we had sex.”

a scoff of surprise leaves jeonghan’s mouth. “you slept together? when?”

“soonyoung’s party.”

“that was weeks ago. haven’t you talked about it? at all?” he asks, clearly invested in the story now.

“i brought it up, she brushed it off and said it meant nothing. told her i wanted to be friends with her a couple days later, but she said she doesn’t think we’ll ever be good friends ‘cause we’re too different, and it’s fucking killing me for some reason. she still said she was… open to friendship though.”

“ah, you like her.”

“yeah, obviously. problem is that she hates me.”

“no, i mean, you like her. you don’t just want to be her friend.”

mingyu is somewhat taken aback by his words. “i don’t have a crush.”

“don’t fool yourself. you’d never get this worked up over someone not wanting to be friends with you — you’re worked up because you wanna get to know her better and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all.”

“i can’t be in love with someone i hardly know.”

“debatable. you still have a crush on her.”

“fine. whatever. say that were the case — purely hypothetical of course — what should i do to get her attention?”

jeonghan has that knowing smile on his face, the one that makes him look like he’s up to no good. “you gotta get a little selfish.”

“could you be a little less vague for once in your life?”

“create a circumstance where she spends time with you without it being planned.” he shrugs, as if that answers it. “something like getting stuck in an elevator for a few hours. you know what i mean.”

“well, unless you were planning on hijacking the elevator somehow, i don’t think i have all that many options.”

right there and then, the two recognize another student from their statistics class sitting a few tables further. she’s giggling to her friends about something, hesitantly looking their way, pointing at them.

“speaking of crushes, she’s got one on you.” jeonghan mentions, raising his brow.

it doesn’t interest mingyu all that much. “yeah, she asked me out a while back. i told her i was busy. didn’t have the heart to flat-out reject her. in hindsight, maybe i should’ve, ‘cause she acts like that every time i see her around.”

jeonghan can’t help but take advantage of the opportunity currently presenting itself like a fucking birthday cake. “are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

“probably not, since i have no idea what you’re getting at.”

he leans a bit closer to his taller friend, speaking in a more hushed tone this time. “you could reject her — subtly.”

mingyu frowns at that. “how?”

and jeonghan smirks a little to himself before he’s about to tell him his plan. “you’ve heard of fake dating before, right?”

the following day, you find yourself in the library of the law faculty, reviewing the slides of the lecture you didn’t feel like attending this morning.

someone drops their bag ever-so-subtly on the table at the empty spot next to you, and when you look up from your notes, you recognize your dearest acquaintance.

you huff, removing one of your earbuds to engage in the conversation you didn’t ask for. “what do you want?”

“you have got to stop saying that when you see me.”

“no, i like it this way.”

“of course you do.” mingyu merely scoffs at your words, sitting down next to you. “you look busy.”

“gee. it’s almost as if i am busy.”

“what’re you working on?”

“undoubtedly nothing you have any knowledge of.”

he rolls his eyes when you grin at him, clearly ready to dodge his questions with more of your sarcastic comments.

“are you always this much on edge?”

“mhm. i hope you are too — otherwise you’re taking up too much space.”

the comment has him frowning at first, and then he gets it, making him let out a vaguely impressed scoff. “you’re cute.”

“not exactly the word i would use.”

“really?” he says, taking the cap off his water bottle, “i think it suits you.”

you squint your eyes at him, finally taking the bait. “what do you want? seriously.”

he shifts in his seat, clearly happy you’re finally going along with him here. “you know the senior gala on thursday, right?”

“yeah. i’m not attending.”

“okay. here’s the thing — i kind of have this girl in one of my classes who won’t stop bothering me about going out on a date with her and stuff.”

“gosh, poor you.”

“i’m serious. it sucks.”

“what does this have to do with you bothering me?”

“well, i figured if she finally saw me with someone else, she’d back off.” he explains, leaning a bit closer to you. “meaning i need a plus-one who’s willing to play my girlfriend for the night.”

“so?”

“so, i’d like you to be my plus-one.” he grins.

“why?”

“why not?”

“you’re saying you wanna pretend to be dating?” you ask, and when he nods, you shake your head. “no one’s gonna believe that.”

“yeah, they will. it’s perfect. same friend group, completely different majors so she probably doesn’t know you — c’mon, consider it.”

he’s surprisingly convincing, as if he already knows how to crack your demeanor. you remain stubborn, though. “out of all the girls you’ve got in your contacts, you’re asking me?”

“you’ve made it clear we’re only acquaintances — i wanna change that. become friends. just like i told you.”

you finally lock eyes with him again, taking your pen away from the paper, refusing to back down once you notice how close he is. “i don’t know what you’re expecting, but you’d get nothing out of a friendship with me.”

he keeps his eyes on yours. “i’ll be the judge of that.”

when you roll your eyes at him, he can tell you’re considering it. “when does it start?”

“ten.”

“dress code?”

“go for a cocktail dress.”

twisting your lips, you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek, and even you are a little weak for those big, brown eyes of his. and you said you’d give him a chance, after all. “fine.”

“great!” he nearly jumps in excitement. “text me when you’re ready and i’ll come and pick you up.”

“yeah, yeah. now go. i got shit to do.”

and once you’ve watched him cheerfully skip out of your sight, the tiniest smile rises to your face, after which you chuckle to yourself.

mere days later, on thursday, mingyu finds himself at your doorstep. it’s not like him to feel nervous — so why the hell is he this time?

you open the door hastily. “hey. you can come on in, i’m all ready except for the pair of earrings i can’t seem to find.”

he watches as you search through small drawers in the cupboard by the wall. maybe he should be glad you’ve got your back faced to him, because he’s subconsciously staring at you, checking you out.

the velvet red one-shoulder dress hugs your features just right, and he’s stunned in his place before you notice he still hasn’t closed the door behind him. “mingyu. the door.”

“uh—yeah. sorry.” he stumbles, stepping inside, doing as he’s told before his eyes wander around your room. “don’t you have a roommate?”

“i used to have one, in my first year. got a single room after.”

“must get quiet after a while.”

“i like it that way.”

your words remind you of his roommate, wonwoo. he figures you’re someone who prefers solitude after a day of being around others, which he keeps in mind.

once you’ve found your earrings, you’re putting them in, and you notice him stepping closer to you. he actually looks criminally good in the black suit he’s wearing, his half-long hair sitting just right. the fucker might as well be a real-life prince charming.

you’re glad you went with smokey eyes. your look compliments his.

as you subtly watch him in the mirror, he comes to stand behind you, holding out the modest bouquet of red roses he’s been holding behind his back. “these are for you. i appreciate that you wanted to come with me tonight.”

the gesture makes your eyes soften. “thank you. oh, they smell nice.”

mingyu feels a little giddy inside when you give him a little smile before putting the flowers in a vase with water. it might be the first time he’s seen you give one that is genuine.

the gala is taking place at a fancy hotel close to university. the walk there only takes a few minutes. once you're nearing the entrance to the party, dimly lit chandeliers catching your eye, he gently puts his hand on your back, just underneath your shoulder blades. you raise a brow, looking over at him, and he shrugs. “i’m your fake boyfriend for the night, remember?”

which has you chortling for a second. “that’s not where to put your hands if you wanna make this believable.”

before he can change the position of his hand, you’re already doing it for him, pushing his hand lower with yours, watching the way his face drops when you allow him to go lower than your hips, breath hitching in his throat.

“that’s better. you can hold me and kiss me on the cheek if you have to. not too much, it’s not the right time and place for it anyways.”

“noted.”

once you’ve arrived inside and given your coats away, you notice most people here are strangers to you, anxiety kicking in, internally wishing you’d consumed some alcohol before coming.

and your companion takes notice of this from the way you’re suddenly squeezing his hand, which you’re undoubtedly not doing on purpose.

“you okay?”

“sure, i’m fine.” you faintly smile back at him.

he’s honestly considering saying fuck it, ready to ask you to just get out of here with him and go anywhere else instead — that is until one of your friends comes up to you.

“am i imagining things—”

“we’re fake dating, josh.” you answer him, increasing the distance between you and mingyu as if to emphasize your point. “his idea, not mine.”

joshua appears all kinds of confused. “okay. um… just—why?”

mingyu presses his lips together. what he said about the girl bothering him was all true. could he handle it on his own? probably. is fake dating slightly unnecessary and a little dramatic of a solution? undoubtedly.

but he just wanted you as his plus-one so bad. he saw it as an opportunity he couldn’t miss out on.

what can he say? jeonghan is weirdly persuasive.

“there’s this classmate of mine who won’t get off my back about dating, so i figured she’d quit if i showed up with a girlfriend. girlfriend being her.”

in spite of the explanation, joshua still looks at the two of you with a frown. “right.”

“i’m gonna go get us a drink. be right back.” mingyu says, almost regretting doing so when he realizes he has to take his hand off your back.

you watch him walk off to the bar, suddenly hearing your best friend chuckle softly next to you. “can’t believe i never considered you two before.”

“what are you talking about?”

“you and him. you’d be a nice match.”

“what, me and mingyu? we’d be a disaster.”

“why?”

“we’re too different, josh. and don’t even try to give me that opposites attract crap.”

his soft facial features melt into a smile that gives off the impression he knows something you don’t. “i think you’d be surprised. that’s all.”

whatever the fuck that means.

your fake boyfriend returns not much later with a drink for the two of you. despite your clear disagreement with joshua’s words, you just can’t help but think about what he said, especially when mingyu’s arm remains looped around your waist for quite a while as the three of you discuss the whereabouts of your friends.

the worst thing is that you don’t even mind him touching you. you’ve always been picky when it comes to the people who are allowed to as much as stand close to you, and mingyu was not one of those people until you grabbed his wrist after he took you home from dinner, which was only last week.

and that’s not the only thing you’re becoming increasingly aware of.

mingyu’s popularity is a bigger thing than you thought. either that, or half the people here are from his faculty. which is highly unlikely.

being as observant as you are, you’ve noticed several girls as well as guys pointing your way, making you feel uneasy.

so your hold on him tightens as you stare back at them, as if to silently tell them to fuck off and focus on someone other than your fake boyfriend.

you’re not actually jealous. no, that’d be ridiculous. you can’t be jealous of others wanting something you don’t even have in the first place.

chan and seokmin arrive half an hour later, having pretty much the same reaction to the situation as shua. but they play along.

though not without noticing how comfortable the two of you are together.

after several hours of drinking, dancing and socializing, you feel in need of a break. “hey, i’m just gonna get some fresh air outside, okay?”

mingyu’s lashes flutter as he nods. “would you mind if i came with?”

you gesture that you’re okay with it, so he takes your hand to guide you through the mass of people without losing you, the littlest of touches sparking an indescribable feeling in your stomach.

the air feels much colder now that you’ve been inside the warm hotel for several hours. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall behind you, the surface feeling slightly uncomfortable on your one uncovered shoulderblade.

mingyu takes fake dating very seriously, as it seems. he’s practically been unable to keep his hands off you, and you’re going to indulge in it for however long it lasts.

as you’re standing outside together, you notice he’s loosened up more around you, not hesitant to get close either. he’s certainly not afraid to put his hand on your thigh, and you make zero effort to push him away.

his lips ghost by the skin of your neck, alcohol clouding his thoughts. “it’s nice to have you here. i wasn’t all that excited about going at first.”

“yeah, yeah. i made your night ten times better.”

he snickers. “you hear that often?”

“every now and then. don’t sound so surprised.”

“it doesn’t surprise me. i was just hoping i was special compared to the others.”

“doesn’t everyone?”

“you’re a little cryptic, anyone ever told you that?”

“maybe.” you respond, chuckling, allowing his lips to touch your bare skin.

mingyu bites his lower lip, not afraid to look you in the eye to match your playful gaze with a similar one. “do you not remember a single thing from the night of soonyoung’s party?”

he almost smacks himself for asking the question, seeing your expression falter a little. “no. neither do you, as you’ve told me.”

“no, i don’t,” he says firmly, mentally trying to slap himself for consuming so much alcohol that it makes him say things he usually wouldn’t, “but i kinda wish i did.”

“why?”

when he remains quiet, still trying to figure out the best way to respond, you gently take a hold of his chin to lift it up, making sure he keeps his eyes on yours. playing with him is fun.

“i...” he tries to utter the words, but god, he might as well be hypnotized.

before he can give his answer, seokmin loudly stumbles out of the building, catching your attention. he’s clearly had a bit too much to drink, his boisterous laughter echoing through the courtyard. seungcheol follows closely behind, a hand on his shoulder.

whatever moment you and mingyu were having is gone in an instant. cheol spots you, keeping his friend somewhat upright in the process.

“i’m gonna go take him home, couldn’t find the other guys. i think soonyoung might be next, though.” he says, doing his best to keep seokmin upright in the process.

so mingyu nods. “okay. i’ll go check.”

they say their goodbyes, after which he proceeds to looks at you again. you let your head rest against the wall again. “you go ahead. i’ll meet you back inside in a few.”

he silently agrees, returning to the people inside. you appreciate the silence, mentally drowning out the sound of people talking and cars driving into the background.

it’s then that some girl you’ve never seen before walks up to you. “hey. you’re mingyu’s new girlfriend, right?”

the crease between your brows becomes apparent. “have we met?”

“no, no. i’m in the same faculty as him. i was just curious. didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

she’s clearly had a bit to drink, though not enough for her speech to be incoherent. you’re not sure what to give her other than an awkward smile that looks anything but genuine.

but either she’s too far gone to catch the hint or she simply doesn’t want to. “was kinda surprised to see him end up with a girl like you.”

and since she’s probably not gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, you decide to engage in it for once. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, ‘s just... you seem a little distant. just different. he’s never really gone for someone like you. no offense or anything.”

you keep your composure despite a certain emotion brewing hot inside you, whatever the hell it may be. the sheer audacity of some people to stick their nose in business that’s not their own. “gee. hard to fathom i landed a guy like that, huh?”

the sarcasm dripping from your tongue finally seems to get it through to her that her opinion is anything but wanted, so she mumbles something about going back inside, after which you lean back against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment.

worst thing is that she’s probably right.

you and mingyu just don’t work.

and you don’t even have feelings for the guy, so why does it bother you?

the whole thing upsets you enough for you to go back inside, rushing to find him to tell him that you don’t feel like staying.

when you return to him, he’s so used to his role that his hand finds your waist and his lips touch your cheek, but you smoothly back away this time. “i’m gonna go back to my dorm. you guys have fun.”

even over the noisy music and chatter in the background, he notices the change in your tone and behavior, which gives him the hint that something has upset you. “why? is everything okay?”

“i’m fine.”

“i’ll take you back.”

“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t.” you tell him, sounding harsher than intended. again. god, you keep messing up. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose for a moment. “i’m sorry.”

mingyu is still processing your words as you’re leaving him behind.

then when you’re walking towards the exit, a girl accidentally bumps into you, spilling her drink over your dress.

goddamn. you wonder what the fuck you did to the universe for it to give you a night as shitty as this.

she begins to profusely apologize, very obviously sincere, but you just curtly tell her it’s fine, annoyance rising.

mingyu notices the situation from afar, deciding to go after you when he sees you walk to the bathroom instead of the exit.

the bathroom is awfully fancy, but it seems only fair for a hotel like this. clenching your jaw, you grumble while getting some paper towels, hiking the dress just a bit upwards.

god, you’re never agreeing to do that fake dating shit ever again. what a joke.

you huff as you keep trying to get the now barely visible stain out of your dress. you’re rubbing over the fabric on your thigh when someone walks in.

of course it’s him.

“any luck getting it out?” he asks, and you clench your jaw, throwing the wet paper towels into the trashcan beside the sink. your hands hold onto the cold surface, knuckles growing white as you focus on them instead of him.

“why am i here?”

“what do you mean?”

you turn your gaze to him, abandoning your quest of getting the stain out of your dress, annoyed that he’s acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. “why did you invite me here? out of everyone you could’ve gone with, why did you wanna go with me?”

“are you angry at me?”

“answer the question.”

“i just…” he trails off, trying to think of the right words. “i just figured it was a way to become friends.”

you’re actually going to lose your shit if he as much as utters the word ‘friend’ to you one more time. “oh, jesus. cut the bullshit. why do you wanna be friends with me so badly?”

“i don’t know, because… because it occurred to me — y’know, after the party, after what we did — that we have little to no relationship and i wanted to change that.”

“oh, right. you just had to sleep with me before thinking of that.”

“no, i didn’t. i just haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and i—”

what the hell is he even supposed to say? he’s not even sure what exactly it is he wants from you. sure, he wants to be friends — but god, he spends so much time wishing he remembered what it was like to touch you that night, what you looked like underneath your pretty little dress, what you sounded like.

you’re quiet for a second before your whole demeanor changes, agitation shifting to intrigue. “so that’s what this is about.”

“well—what?”

“if you wanted to fuck, you should’ve just said that. instead of dragging me to this shit.”

“i—” he suddenly feels suffocated by the small size of the room and your body getting closer to his, backing him up against the door. “that’s not why i—”

“does it matter?” you ask, and he tries to hide his ragged breathing now that you’ve pressed your front against him, clenching his jaw.

it doesn’t help that you’re watching him like a hawk.

“not to repeat myself all the time, but i—i normally don’t do this with friends. i don’t want you to have the wrong idea of me.” he exclaims, cursing himself for looking down at the way your red dress is accentuating your curves so well.

so you begin to unbutton his shirt, and he breathes heavily because of it. “well, i guess you’re in luck. ‘cause we’re not friends.”

he’s about to tell you that he genuinely wants to be when you finally kiss him. it’s fast and intense and hungry.

whatever he expected, it wasn’t this — but he can’t find it in him to not give in.

his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer, then proceeding to help you with unbuttoning his shirt, all without breaking the kiss.

mingyu shivers when your cold hands finally touch his bare chest, the faintest hint of your sharp nails nearly making him beg for you to dig them into his skin until he bleeds.

there’s a shift in control when his feet no longer feel locked in with the tiled floor, his hands trailing up your legs, fingers gripping the skin of your thighs. he lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, only to have him pushing you up against the door, pressing his body against yours.

you’re rubbing your front against him, taking notice of the hard bulge in his pants, nearly crying out from his sheer size.

holy shit. no wonder you were sore after you slept with him — he’s fucking huge.

“gyu,” you break the kiss, “can i suck you off?”

the way you breathily call him by his nickname for the first time is nearly enough for him to bust in his pants. “wanna taste you instead. please?”

with your back resting against the surface behind you, you watch him as he sinks to his knees, kissing the inside of your legs, goosebumps erupting on your skin.

“are you sure?”

“yeah. please let me.”

“okay. just make it quick.”

in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say.

because he’s diving in faster than you can comprehend, lace panties pulled down in less than a second, making you gasp in surprise. your fingers grab onto a few strands of his hair, accidentally tugging on them, only to have him moaning in response, which is most likely the best thing you’ve ever heard.

your teeth sink into your lower lip as a way to suppress your moans, only deeps hums and groans escaping you, much to mingyu’s annoyance, because he wants to hear you.

his fingers slide into your dripping wetness, your muscles tightening up from the sudden intrusion. he looks up at you while kissing the inside of your leg, a sight that’s so fucking hot that you have to tell yourself not to get lost in it.

another surge of adrenaline rushes through you when he spreads your legs even wider, causing you to let out a broken moan, much to his satisfaction.

“you can pull on my hair. i like that.” he breathes out with a genuine smile and lust-blown eyes, refusing to wait for your reaction and getting right back to what he was doing.

it doesn’t take him long before he’s got you squirming above him. tugging his hair really does get him going, but you’re nearly at your limit, feeling the familiar feeling building up in your lower belly.

“gyu—fuck, ‘s too much, too much—” you try to push his wrist away and make him look up at you again.

you swear you might lose it when you see he’s actually pouting over the fact that you’re pulling him away from something he clearly enjoys doing.

“but, baby, i wanna make you cum.”

the pet name turns you on even more. “you can. i just want you inside of me, right now.”

he’s rising to his feet, towering over you with his tall frame as you push him back against the door, kissing his jaw, neck and collarbone while undoing the buttons of his white shirt.

mingyu is surprisingly vocal, which you thoroughly enjoy. his lips find yours again, relishing in the remaining taste of you on his tongue.

“god—want me to fuck you?”

pulling your dress over your head, you’re left in your matching set of lingerie that you just so conveniently put on tonight. “are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“fine. bend over the sink, then.”

the difference in his tone and words makes you shiver with excitement. once you do as he says, a new shot of adrenaline courses through your body — because you completely forgot about the mirror that’s now right in front of you.

so you’re able to watch him push his pants down, positioning himself behind you. his big hands are warm on your skin, the silver ring on his finger making you shiver.

his shirt is half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, trousers down to his ankles — but none of that matters now that he’s got you bent over in front of him, fingers trembling in excitement as he takes the condom from his pocket to slip it on.

all he can do is hiss and groan when he feels your heat wrap around him so nicely as he pushes into you. “you’re so tight, jesus—”

you huff. “not my fault you’re so big.”

it makes him laugh and simultaneously turns him on. “you’re all bite, even when i’m trying to fuck you.”

“don’t act like you don’t like it.”

he then finally bottoms out, both of you moaning, and he chuckles. “never said i didn’t.”

god, he’s so fucking attractive. he bites his lower lip as he throws his head back, his strokes slow but hard.

his girth feels so good inside you — and his touches are electric on your skin. his hands go from your ass to your hips, your stomach, everywhere.

and he’s certainly not afraid to get loud. especially when he feels you’re pushing your hips back against his. he’s convinced this is what heaven feels like.

“gyu, a little harder, please.” you plead, slightly beginning to struggle with holding yourself up by the edge of the sink.

“how hard d’you want it?”

“as hard as you want. i can take it.”

he gestures for you to turn over, lifting you up and pushing you up against the wall, burying himself inside you again before you can even comprehend it.

his fingers feel almost painful on your thighs with the way he’s digging into your skin. he’s sucking and biting right above your collarbone, leaving some pretty marks that will definitely be visible tomorrow.

you push his jaw upward so you can kiss him, and he sighs into it, tilting his head to get better access.

it’s like he’s trying to match his thrusts with your heartbeat at this point. pressure builds in your stomach when you whine his name. “oh my god—gyu—”

“i love it when you call me that,” he breathes out, so into it that he’s confessing everything on his mind, “you don’t know how much i’ve thought about this — been fantasizing about this for ages.”

you hold onto his shoulder blades, nails digging into them. “then you better make it worth my while.”

“such a brat.” he teases, a moan slipping out right after when you use your legs wrapped around his waist to push him deeper into you.

mingyu’s stamina is admirable — but he’s a simple man. you’re so hot and you just feel so good around him, and he knows he’s getting close to his release already.

you notice his pace becoming slightly uneven, his breaths erratic, a layer of cold sweat forming on his back.

he’s doing his best to hold out for you, to make you hit your peak first, but you actually need to see him come undone first.

“are you gonna cum, gyu?”

you have to refrain from biting your lip when he’s stuttering out a response. “n—no, not yet—”

“i want you to.”

“jesus, don’t say that—”

oh, he’s cute. he’s responding so well to your words, so you indulge in it a little bit more.

“wanna fuck me again later? without a condom? you can cum inside me. i’ll let you do anything you want.” you tease — your words being the complete truth, because if he’d want to fuck you again, you’d sure as shit let him.

his brows scrunch upwards while he lets out another whine. “anything?”

“mhm,” you nod, “anything.”

his fantasies about you, the way you’re looking at him, the things you’re saying, the way you suddenly clench around him — it’s all too much. his release spills into the condom, his muscles flexing from the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting through him.

it’s enough to make your legs tremble, and you reach the climax you’ve been aching for.

he’s still coming down from his high, face buried in the crook of your neck when he hears you chuckle. “so much for being friends, huh?”

he then smiles as well. “are we close enough for you to consider me as your friend now?”

“you’re quite literally inside me.”

“knowing you, that doesn’t really have to change anything.”

“oh, is that so?” you retort at his cheekiness. “sure. you’ve made it to friend level 1. congrats.”

“great. level 2 is next, then.”

“god, forget i said anything.”

“no going back now. you’re stuck with me.”

something’s very clearly changed between you since that night. mingyu has, in a certain way, changed your relationship.

because you’ve successfully upgraded from strangers to fuck buddies.

and truth be told, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.

the sex is great. there’s something thrilling and exciting about your secret relationship, both of you skipping lectures and sneaking away after classes with no one around you having a single clue.

and yet he’s come to the conclusion that this isn’t what he wants.

he wants you. all of you, completely. but every time he tries to get even remotely close to you, you somehow manage to dodge it and change the topic.

it bothers him. but he’s scared to just put all his feelings on a platter — because he doesn’t want to lose whatever he has with you.

something he’s also discovered is how utterly weak he is for even the slightest bit of your attention, the smallest of touches.

so when he’s typing away at his laptop in the study hall, noticing the screen of his phone light up as a message from you comes in, he can’t bring himself to ignore it.

20:23: you look cute when you’re focused

the message makes him frown, and he looks around, trying to figure out where you are, since you’ve clearly got your eyes on him.

so he texts back.

20:24: i always look cute ;)

tapping his fingers on the table, he waits for your response. the three buttons that indicate you’re typing suddenly go away, and he pouts, only to then be greeted by your voice close to his ear. “bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“fuckin’—” it almost makes him jump and screech out of shock. “christ, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

you chuckle at his high-pitched reaction. “bad conscience?”

“no. you’re just scary.”

“thank you.” you grin with pride, moving to sit on the table, right beside his laptop. “you busy?”

“just going over some older lecture notes to prep for an exam.”

“wanna come over to my dorm?”

“fourth time this week. what’s gotten into you? well, aside from me, obviously.”

“hilarious. really.” you remark, watching him laugh at his own joke, unable to help the smile rising to your cheeks. “what can i say? it’s a great stress reliever.”

“i know. give me a sec and i’ll pack my things.”

as he closes up his laptop and textbooks, you look around the other tables — which are mostly empty, except for the one by the window, which is where you notice a girl shooting you a bit of a weird look once you make eye contact with her.

“mingyu.”

“hm?”

“the chick by the window with the shitty earrings. you know her?”

he subtly looks into the direction of said window, recognizing the girl from his advanced statistics class. “yeah, i have a class with her. can’t really remember her name though. why?”

“she likes you.”

“oh.” he just shrugs, continuing to zip up his bag, standing up from his seat. “i didn’t notice.”

“sure.” you chuckle sarcastically.

that makes him raise a brow. he feigns shock, causing you to look at him.

“what?”

“you’re jealous.”

“excuse me?” you monotonously ask, brows furrowing in disdain.

“it’s actually kinda hot.”

“oh, please. i have nothing to be jealous of.”

“and yet you are.”

“either you shut your ass up or i’ll find someone else to relieve my stress, kim.”

he laughs and you roll your eyes. then he slings his bag over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets as he follows you out of the study hall.

as soon as you’ve entered your dorm room, he’s got you pressed against the wall, nipping at your skin. he makes you feel sickeningly good, putting your former boyfriends to shame — you’re certainly not complaining.

once he’s done with you and you’re completely worn out, you lay with your head on his chest, his fingers softly stroking your naked back.

you seem more on edge than usual today. less playful. tired, even. his voice sounds hesitant when he speaks up. “is everything okay? you look stressed.”

“i’m fine.”

he figures you either don’t want to open up or you simply don’t feel comfortable doing so with him, so he chooses not to pry, opting to let you know he’s there for you. “okay. well, if you need anything, someone to talk to, you can always come to me.”

you frown a little. refusing to act impulsively, you swallow your words, not saying a thing.

mingyu takes your silence as his cue to leave you be. a feeling of unease creeps into his body, and the room suddenly feels smaller than before.

so he gently moves away from you, sitting up to put his clothes back on. “i should probably go. wonwoo will be pissed off if i don’t have the kitchen cleaned up once he gets back.”

he’s buttoning his jeans when you speak up behind him, admitting your reasons for feeling more stressed than usual. “i’ve got two exams next week. they’re extremely important, i have to pass them, i just… i can’t focus for some reason.”

when he turns around, you’re not facing him. he leans against the tabletop, looking at you. “anything in particular that’s bothering you?”

“i don’t know. it’s just…” you shrug your shoulders a little, unsure of how to explain it, “i guess i haven’t been feeling great in my own skin lately, even though i don’t actually have a reason for it.”

“maybe i can help you study. could work as a nice motivator.”

“gyu—” you chuckle a little to reject him politely, but he sees it coming at this point, persisting.

“why don’t we just try it? if you don’t feel like doing it again, then, fine. we can always just restrict our activities to solely physical stuff again.”

“do you even have the time to help me?”

he’s smiling, able to tell you’re thinking about it. “are you kidding? i can do anything.”

“always so humble.”

“yeah, that’s why you like me so much.” he laughs. “that’s why i’m your friend.”

“whatever makes you sleep at night.”

mingyu wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to help you, nor when he mentioned he wanted you two to be closer.

he’s putting in effort to make you like him, that’s for sure. buying you coffees and snacks, offering to study with you whenever you mention difficult topics you have to cram for exams — he’s certainly establishing his presence in your daily life.

and you hate how easily you get used to it.

for whatever reason, you haven’t had sex since that day either. you’re pretty sure he wants to prove that he likes you for you and not just your body.

which is sweet. but you also have needs, and they’re worse now, knowing he can fulfill them extremely well, as he’s proved many times at this point.

so you text him to ask if he wants to come over later.

as he’s seated at a picnic table on the campus square, he notices your text, grabbing his phone to respond to you.

“your girlfriend texting you again?”

mingyu looks up at joshua, who’s sitting across from him with a pen in hand. he shakes his head. “not my girlfriend.”

“she might as well be.”

“she doesn’t like me enough to be.”

shua wouldn’t call himself nosy, but he’s determined to get a better idea of what exactly is going on between you. “what’s up with you and her?”

“it’s complicated.” his friend responds, eyes narrowing from the rays of sunlight. “i’m not even sure, honestly.”

joshua has this ability to pry people’s hearts open and let their feelings pour out without breaking a sweat — how easily he does it should be studied.

“are you friends with benefits or something? situationship?”

ironically, those words are the complete opposite of what you and him are. mingyu huffs out of frustration, voicing his thoughts. “she doesn’t like it when i call her my friend, she appears to have an exceedingly low daily quota of emotions, i’m busting my ass off to get my own assignments done and spend as much time with her as i can and i’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like me. at all. worst part being that i like her, shua. i like her.”

“have you told her you like her?”

“sort of. in a friendly way. she just glared at me.”

joshua finds mingyu’s inner torment a little amusing, but he feels for him. “maybe she’ll warm up to you. give it a while, she’s a tough nut to crack.”

“is she open with you?”

“sort of. i don’t think there’s a single soul out there she’s completely open with.” he sucks on the inside of his cheek for a second. “she has mentioned in the past that she’s actually very sensitive but just doesn’t, like, really express it. and you gotta keep in mind that people show love and affection differently. give it time.”

mingyu takes a breath as he thinks over the words.

give it time.

which he does. he notices you’re gradually getting closer to him over the course of time, still not showing too much — but it feels different. you choose to sit with him more often than not when you meet up with the other guys, you’re spending a lot of time with him, and you’re showing initiative to make time for him. every time he lands in your bed, it feels more intimate than ever.

you’re starting to make him feel like he matters to you. his crush on you is getting out of hand to the point he needs to stop himself from gazing at you every time you look him in the eye.

just like right now. you’re smiling at him over something he can’t remember — it’s a genuine smile, he cherishes those every time you flash him one as they’re rare — and you just look so pretty.

a text message from one of the guys on the football team pulls him out of it. which sparks an idea in him.

“hey, i have a football game coming up this saturday. do you wanna come? you could finally see me in action.” he asks. when he notices the puzzled look on your face, he tilts his head. “oh, come on. friendship works both ways, you know that, right? team effort and all that jazz.”

his wording makes you chuckle. “fine. i’ll be there.”

“you won’t regret it. our team is great.”

“really? then you better prove it. can’t be cheering for the losing team.”

with a raised brow, he points at you. “wanna bet?”

“what do you have in mind?”

he considers his options for a moment. “if my team wins, i get to choose what we do in bed next time. as long as you’re into it too, obviously. if the opposite team wins, you get to choose.”

now that’s an offer you’re certainly not gonna reject. taking on the challenge, you nod. “alright. deal.”

he shakes your hand ever so professionally, gathering his books since he needs to get to class. “oh, and, just so you know — my team’s won regional championships for the past two years in a row. i’m just saying.”

you tilt your head. he winks at you before walking away from the table, and you smile to yourself.

damn that asshole for making you like him this much.

saturday arrives, and you find yourself walking by the green football fields, surprised by the amount of people who showed up.

mingyu mentioned he was heading here earlier so you just told him you’d be there, sitting with the crowd.

it seems like it’s going to be a cold-weather match today. it’s already dark out, and the rain just started coming down from the sky. you’re glad the bleachers come with shade canopies so at least you won’t be soaked by the time the game is over.

your eyes are fixed on mingyu’s back as he stands by the sidelines with the rest of his team, enthusiastically discussing what’s most likely gonna be their strategy for the game.

then he turns around, still very engaged in the conversation, the wet strands of his hair framing his facial features. gosh, he’s incredibly handsome.

before running out onto the field, he looks back at the bleachers, scanning the masses before his eyes lock with yours.

he ever so dramatically makes a little heart with his fingers, teasingly motioning it towards you, and you put your middle finger up, making him laugh.

mingyu’s a real sweetheart, you have to admit. he’s growing on you.

watching the game is more fun than you anticipated. despite not being into football all that much, it’s great to watch the boys work together as well as they do.

you’re certainly not complaining when mingyu throws his vest on the bench halfway through the match, leaving him in a black compression shirt, emphasizing his strong figure.

shit. maybe you should watch him play more often.

it’s his team that seems to be on the winning side tonight — until the opposing team scores ten minutes before the end. both teams have the same score now, which is bad. ending with a draw would suck.

you’re now completely sucked into the game like the rest of the audience, desperate for mingyu’s team to score another goal.

the universe must be on their side today, because they do. three minutes left on the clock and none other than jeon wonwoo himself is able to kick the ball into the net, escaping the hands of the keeper.

it’s all yells of happiness on the field.

the referee blows his whistle to call the end of the game. everyone at your side of the bleachers stands up from their seats, yourself included, to cheer and clap for the boys, happy that they won the game.

you watch them congratulate eachother, some of their friends walking onto the field to do the same.

following the masses, you also leave your seat in the bleachers, walking down the stairs.

mingyu notices you coming his way and runs over to you, surprising you by lifting you up, giving you arguably the best hug you’ve ever had in your whole damn life. he holds onto you so tightly, his big arms and tall frame caging you in — in the best way possible.

when he gently puts you back down, his one hand briefly finds your cheek, which catches you off guard, but you don’t shy away from it.

he’s so tempted to just say fuck it and kiss you right now. you look so pretty, and your eyes — your eyes. he could stare into them forever and love every second of it.

but there’s too much at stake to get impulsive. “thanks for coming.”

“you’re welcome.” you blankly respond, making him smile a little.

“how did i do? good enough for your standards?”

you shrug at him, taking a brief look at his teammates celebrating in the distance behind him. “i was mostly focused on wonwoo, actually, but you were doing a good job too.”

he rolls his eyes before making a sarcastic comment. “you’re hilarious.”

“something i’m very aware of.”

he fake smiles at you, and you reciprocate the gesture, patting him on the shoulder.

“wanna go catch a drink with me?”

“don’t you wanna celebrate with the rest of the team?”

“not tonight.” he shakes his head. “i just gotta go get my bag. come with me?”

he intertwines his fingers with yours and you hardly notice it. which is bizarre if you consider how you had no relationship with him to begin with several months ago. “okay, yeah.”

you head to the men’s locker room with him, which is dark and empty. all the other guys are still out on the field, as you noticed when you were walking over here.

“the lights haven’t been working since yesterday, so watch your step.” mingyu tells you. the rays of moonlight coming through the high windows are enough to at least light up the room enough for you to see where you’re going.

you suddenly get an idea. “do you think the guys are gonna be out there for long?”

“they usually do. ten minutes, give or take.” he answers absentmindedly while taking his black duffel bag out of the locker with his name on it.

once he turns around, you push him back against the locker, taking him by the surprise, your finger pulling at the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.

“i give credit where it’s due, you know.”

oh. oh. he only then understands what you’re getting at.

you always manage to make him a little nervous somehow — he lives for it. “in public? here? we could go back to your—oh, shit—”

you make him stutter the moment your hand moves underneath his clothes to take a hold of his dick. “but you’re already hard, gyu.”

christ. you’ve got some nerve, putting up that soft and sweet voice as if you’re not fucking responsible for getting him hard in the first place.

he doesn’t protest when you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock springing free.

you grin a little to yourself before taking him in your mouth. he’s so hot like this, all hard and panting and begging.

“h—holy shit, that feels good.” he gasps, the warm sensation of your mouth making him go dizzy.

his hand moves to the back of your head. you take him as much as you can, using your hands for the part you can’t take. he slowly becomes a mess, his head resting against the locker.

you look up at him when he’s shamelessly moaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around him, his hands subconsciously pushing your head just a little bit forward, making you take just that little bit more of his cock.

arousal begins to pool between your legs, and you suddenly curse yourself for choosing to wear jeans instead of a skirt tonight.

“fuck, fuck, baby—”

you release him with a pop, a mix of spit and his arousal coating your lips. “wanna taste everything. can’t make a mess here.”

it’s such a shame he’s still wearing his clothes. his stomach caves in so nicely whenever you’re sucking him off — like he can’t catch his breath. it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.

his legs are trembling, and he’s embarrasingly close to his release already. “you don’t—ah—have to do this here if you don’t want to—”

“‘m not leaving ‘til you cum down my throat, gyu. you can do that, though, right?”

he nods, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, his voice all soft and submissive. he can’t help it. “yeah, yeah, i’ll do whatever you want, baby.”

“good boy.” you tell him, entirely unaware of the effect it has on him.

the moment you hollow your cheeks, it’s over for him. the salty taste of his release sits in your mouth before you swallow it, and his chest heaves while he pulls himself together.

both your eyes widen when you suddenly hear the voices outside getting closer, and mingyu knows it’s time to get the fuck out of here. he quickly pulls his pants back up, his bag in his one hand and your hand in the other as he drags you with him to take the back exit before anyone can notice either of you.

you both take a breather outside as you lean against the wall of the building before you burst into laughter together. he feels on top of fucking cloud nine, if he’s being truthful.

“you’re insane.” he laughs, looking to the side to find you laughing and blushing at the same time. “you’re blushing? after doing that? wow. who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

“you’re getting special treatment, you know. i don’t suck off my other friends.” you tease, shrugging your shoulders.

maybe he should consider pursuing a theatre career with the way he dramatically puts his hand over his heart. “does this mean i made it to friend level 2?”

“you did. now you’ve been downgraded back to level 1, though. what’re you gonna do about it?”

he plays along with you. “well, shit. can’t have that. we can go get a burger with fries at that place near campus. my treat?”

“sounds good.” the words have left your mouth and that big smile is right on his face again. you playfully push his shoulder, cheeks hurting from the smile on yours.

he’s getting closer to you than you anticipated, and that’s not a good thing, but for now, you tell yourself it’ll be fine. how much closer could he possibly get?

another month passes by when, for the first time in a while, mingyu doesn’t drop by your dorm. he doesn’t text, doesn’t call — and you find yourself worried about him.

it’s been nothing but complete radio silence from his end, which isn’t a good sign.

you’ve already left him several voicemails when chan lets you know he’s been having a terrible fever for the past two days. it leaves you with the urge to go and check up on him, so once you’ve had all your classes for the day, you find yourself knocking on his door.

it takes a moment for him to answer it, wonwoo seemingly not present in the dorm.

when mingyu opens the door, surprise is painted across his face, the heavy bags under his eyes making him seem awfully tired. shit, you hope you didn’t wake him. he’s wearing a plain white shirt with thin black pyjama pants, his hair an utter mess.

the surprise on his face is gone once you open your mouth. “you look like shit.”

he snorts at your words. “would you say that to me if i were on my deathbed, too?”

“absolutely.”

he smiles at your attitude, finding it strangely refreshing. “wanna come in? i promise i’ll stay at a distance so you won’t get it.”

you didn’t think he was going to invite you in, but you accept the offer nonetheless. “i was wondering why you didn’t call. then chan told me you were sick.”

he shuts the door behind you. “yeah, i’ve been sleeping, mostly. watched some netflix too but it quickly gives headaches. i’m sorry for not letting you know — didn’t think you were worried.”

you pause for a moment. “well. you thought wrong. friends worry, don’t they?”

the words make him smile. he didn’t think you cared all that much about him for some reason — this changes that. “fair. what’s in the bowl?”

he’s referring to the black bowl covered in foil you have clutched between your arms. you shrug. “soup. i don’t know if you already had some, but it worked wonders for me when i was sick a while back, so… yeah. i figured you could use it.”

his face lights up when he realizes you went out your way to make this for him. with gratitude, he accepts the bowl. “thank you, i appreciate it. looks really good. you can sit by my desk if you want to, by the way.”

as he’s walking across the room, you notice the mishap in his steps, like he’s about to lose his balance. “are you okay?”

“yeah, ‘s just—i’m a little dizzy.”

your hands find his shoulders — a touch that feels heavy compared to the usual skin-to-skin contact you share with him — to put him down on his bed. “don’t force it. if you’re about to faint, you might as well be lying down.”

his lids hang low, eyes nearly closed when you pull the covers over his body. you touch his cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand to get an indication of his temperature.

as soon as you’re about to tell him he probably has a light fever, it seems he’s already half asleep. you pull the covers up to his chest to ensure he’s comfortable.

you gaze at him for a moment as he snores softly, biting your lip as you curse yourself for giving him a treatment he doesn’t deserve.

maybe mingyu likes to think he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but that’s far from the truth. even you have noticed he’s been looking at you a certain way recently, and that’s saying something.

one look at him and you’re already feeling like a big softie. it’s ridiculous.

you’re scared of what you feel for him, but as long as you can keep your relationship like this, it’ll be fine.

now that he’s asleep, you wander around his room. you know wonwoo must be at football practice, since mingyu is normally there with him at this time of the week.

you usually take him to your dorm, so you’re not in his all that often. your eyes rake across the framed pictures of his friends, family, loved ones, memories he’s made.

they stop, though, when recognizing yourself in one of the pictures. he promised you he’d frame one up as a way of ‘solidifying your friendship’ as he so politely put it.

still, you didn’t think he’d actually do it.

smiling to yourself, you proceed to notice his laptop screen is still on. he must’ve been working on something when you knocked on his door.

out of curiosity, you check the screen, figuring he was working on the essay he’s been postponing for two weeks because he had difficulty getting started.

you take a look at the assignment and decide you’re gonna try to do it for him. luckily, the necessary paragraphs that ought to be studied beforehand and referenced in the essay itself came with the mail, so that makes everything a lot easier.

when mingyu wakes up hours later, he finds himself alone in his room. you’re gone, though he notices the glass of water on his nightstand has been refilled, his laptop is flipped open, and there’s a sticky note attached to it.

slowly, he rubs his eyes and moves toward the desk to grab the laptop before sitting back against the pillows.

you must’ve written something on the note, he figures.

‘hopefully the essay is up to the standards of your class. i did it in a separate document so you can just get rid of the whole thing if it’s not what you want it to be. let me know if you need anything else. x’

he frowns, turning the device on to see what you worked on — and the screen lights up, only for him to realize you wrote the essay due for tomorrow. and with a few of his own additions here and there, it’s good enough to submit, which is impressive for someone who’s not actually taking the class.

and right now, all he can do is smile at his screen like an idiot.

you’re at the university skating rink when you hear someone calling your name from the bleachers.

looking up with a frown, you suddenly notice a tall man sprinting your way, so you skate towards him. “mingyu, what the hell are you doing here?”

“i got 87/100 for the essay. for the one class i always hate. you’re a genius.” he exclaims, absolutely beaming at you.

you suddenly remember doing the essay for him, snorting at his reaction. “so i’ve heard. good to see you’re doing better.”

“is there anything i can do in return?”

“don’t worry. i like writing essays. besides, you already helped me out plenty of times. it was the least i could do.”

the words coming out of your mouth hardly match your facial expression, but he finds he’s gotten used to it now. he understands you better than ever before. “you know how you said i’d get nothing out of a friendship with you?” he recalls, biting his lip for a moment, “you were wrong.”

a mere chuckle escapes you. “right. you get top-notch essays and bowls of chicken soup.”

your comment was sarcastic, but he remains serious. “you’re wonderful, you know that?”

it’s not often people use a word like that to describe you. it feels weird hearing it, but your attitude remains the same. “am i?”

“yeah, you are,” he nods, pushing out more compliments, “and i’m glad to have you in my life.”

the playful expression on your face falters — like a glitch occurring in your system. mingyu is starting to break through your hard exterior remarkably easily, and that’s beginning to scare you a little.

he leaves without saying another word, but the look on his face is enough to tell that he’s feeling the tension too. whatever relationship you have is becoming more intimate by day, most definitely passing the friendship it was supposed to be, and to you, that is very alarming.

and you suddenly refuse to let it go any further.

whenever he texts you, you either tell him you don’t have the time to come over or nothing at all. you avoid him like the plague, ensure not to go to social gatherings if he’s going be there and stay well away from all the places you and him studied together. it hurts, because you do miss him, yet you manage to keep it up.

but you can only do so much. unfortunately, mingyu is smarter than you hoped.

after two weeks of you avoiding him, he decides he’s had enough.

when you’re almost about to leave the dorm for your lecture, you hear someone knocking on your door. you open it to find him standing there, and he walks right by you, not bothering to ask whether he can come in.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

“i gotta leave for my lecture, i don’t have time for this.”

“so make the time.” he says sternly, jaw clenched. “answer the question.”

“i haven’t been avoiding you.”

“sure. so it’s a coincidence you suddenly stopped talking to me?”

you huff in frustration and close the door, leaning with your back against it. “no, it isn’t.”

he raises his hands in defeat. “so, why?”

“it’s been fun. i don’t know. but you’ve proved what you wanted to prove, so… good for you. we can both move on now.” you shrug, hardly sounding convinced of your own words.

“you’re lying.” he breathes out, scoffing to himself. he’s baffled that you think he’d consider it believable at all. “four months ago, i would’ve bought that. but not now.”

“believe what you wanna believe. i don’t really care.” you give him the cold shoulder, attempting to open the door so you can leave, but he immediately shuts it to stop you from doing so.

“don’t bullshit me. you care. i don’t know why the fuck you’re so hellbent on not admitting that, but it’s the truth.”

he’s beginning to get on your nerves. “what fucking answers are you even here for? since you claim to know everything that’s going on inside my head already.”

it’s then that he starts to show how genuinely upset he is at you pushing him away. “what makes me so different from the other guys? joshua, seokmin, chan—all of them. why is it so easy for you to be close with them but not with me?”

“because you keep trying to get closer to me! from day one, you’ve been saying you wanna be friends with me like the rest of them, but your actions don’t line up with that.”

“so what? i like you and i’m pretty damn sure you like me too.” his voice is softer, face closer to yours, those brown eyes of his working their way straight to your heart. “what are you so afraid of?”

either you’re imagining things or he’s leaning in to kiss you. his lips are so close before you feel them on yours, a sensation you missed like nothing else.

your fingers touch the back of his neck. it’s hard not to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the smell of his cologne making it even harder.

kissing mingyu is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven, but right now, all it’s making you feel is guilt and shame.

so you pull yourself away from him, breaking the kiss, hands feeling heavy on his chest. “close the door on your way out.” you whisper, leaving him alone in your dorm.

he stands perplexed in his place for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, processing what just happened.

“fuck.”

it’s been a week, and he hasn’t called nor texted you since that conversation. you assume that he’s decided to move on.

which is understandable. if you were him, you’d be done with it too.

it feels strange to be going about your day without him dropping by or talking to you. like he left a void you’re unable to fill. and it hurts — you miss him.

you’re having lunch with seokmin and minghao in the cafeteria when he’s suddenly standing in front of you by the table. “i just got a call from the gallery manager — we’ve got it to ourselves this friday evening!”

minghao smiles widely, the sweet sound of his excited laughter intriguing the rest of you. he turns his head to explain. “me and mingyu have been trying to rent the gallery so we could finally be able to put our work on display. apparently, it was just confirmed we managed to pull it off.”

hao is a passionate painter — mingyu a photographer. their love for art is one of the things that binds them together, and they’ve mentioned wanting to have their own exhibit for a few months now. despite the things that have happened, you’re happy for them.

“that’s great! we can come, right?” seokmin asks, already grabbing his phone to put it in his agenda.

“yeah, you guys better.” minghao answers, his gaze shifting to you. “you have to come too. you’re free, right?”

he’s aware of things between you and mingyu being tense right now — though he doesn’t know why — but he still thinks it’d be good for you and him to see each other.

your eyes meet mingyu’s for the first time since your last conversation a week ago, and hao follows your actions, looking at him as well.

mingyu subtly looks away, hoping his friend didn't catch him staring at you. before he can utter the words he wants to say, you tilt your head, already speaking up. “sure. i'll be there.”

he unintentionally gives you a puzzled look, and you pop a piece of gum in your mouth, looking at your wrist as if there’s a watch there.

there isn’t. “won’t you look at the time. i’ll see you guys later.”

they briefly say bye to you, very much used to the way you dismiss yourself, and mingyu watches the interaction as if it’s the first time witnessing it — as if he hasn’t known you to be like this for several months.

he watches you walk out of the cafeteria, confronted by his two friends staring at him. “what?”

“you’re deep in it.” minghao remarks. “when are you guys finally gonna admit that you wanna be together?”

“it’s not that easy.”

seokmin frowns, connecting the dots before gasping. “wait. you and her are a thing? since when? why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

the other two just deadpan a stare at him.

on friday night, you attend the art exhibit. you know he’s been working hard on the collection, and you certainly figured you were gonna be confronted with mingyu as well, but this is one gathering you couldn’t afford to miss. so you choose to try and forget the drama for one night.

you’re wearing a little black dress with lacy tights and sleek ankle boots, an outfit you feel nice in.

the gallery is buzzing with friends of the artists as well as people who frequent the place whenever a new exhibit is up. perhaps some pieces will be sold tonight.

as you’re passing some of mingyu’s framed photos, you hear his familiar voice behind you.

“i was surprised when you agreed to come.”

when you turn your head, he’s standing there with his hands in the pockets of his fitted black pants, the deep cut of his white blouse exposing just a bit more of his upper chest than usual, a silver chain sitting all pretty on his neck and collarbones.

personally, you find it’s relatively rare to find men with good taste in fashion, but he’s definitely got it. he looks good. really good.

biting your lip, you give him nothing but a cool response. “came to see if you were any good.”

“and? what’s your judgement?”

“haven’t made up my mind yet.” your tone turns into a more teasing one, seeing as he appears considerably less hostile than you. “does my judgement really matter that much, though?”

he nods so quickly, almost as if he were hypnotized by you. “more than you know.”

him showing you affection actually makes your heart shatter. he’s so genuine in it too — and you just don’t know what to do with all that love he so easily gives you.

people pass you left and right, completely unaware of the heavy feeling currently bubbling inside your chest. you’re crumbling under his gaze and he fucking feels it.

and this situation is precisely the one thing you were so afraid of. you know he knows how to poke into your heart, he knows when you’re lying to him, he knows when you’re upset or hurt — and the idea that there’s someone out there who can see all of that just by looking at you utterly terrifies you.

in moments like these, your expression doesn’t gradually change. it falls hard and quick, sometimes very visibly, just like right now. the blank stare is gone, your lips parting, eyes blinking erratically — it’s like you received a slap to the face.

“your photography is beautiful, mingyu. you’re talented, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.” your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence and you leave him behind, heading into the ladies’ room, hoping he won’t follow you.

you exhale when he doesn’t.

knowing it’s way too early to leave, you pull yourself together, and once you get out of the bathroom, you make it your mission to avoid him for the rest of the night. if that means talking to god knows how many new people, so be it.

minghao’s paintings are beautiful. you’re in awe of his talent as you walk past his artworks, admiring each of them.

as the evening nears its end, the artist himself comes up to you with that gentle smile he often wears. “so, what do you think? do i have potential?”

“are you kidding? you’ve got more than just potential. these are gorgeous. you should be proud of them.”

he thanks you, his hands sitting in the pockets of his trousers. “what’d you do to mingyu?”

you cross your arms over your chest. “why’re you assuming i did something?”

“because he’s been looking like a kicked puppy for the past few weeks. and i heard you and him suddenly stopped hanging out, so...”

taking a deep breath, you shake your head to yourself. “honestly, i’m not even sure what happened between us. it came out of nowhere.”

minghao keeps his eyes on you even when you look away. “he came out of nowhere and you started liking him.”

the comment makes your eyes widen, but you don’t bother hiding the truth from him. he might be the most trustworthy guy you know. “yeah. so i pushed him away.”

he’s aware of your fear of letting people in beyond a certain extent. “what did he do?”

you could cry, honestly. your face is blank — your voice trembles. “he said he was happy to have me in his life. god, i’m so fucking insecure.”

hao softly rubs over your shoulder blade for a second, a gesture you appreciate. he shrugs. “you’re not obligated to do something you don’t wanna do. but talking about it is better than leaving it unsaid. gyu’s a good guy. he’ll understand it, but only if you give him the chance to.”

with that sentiment, he leaves you be, and you rub your arms, staring at the painting that’s currently in front of you, only to realize it’s about two lovers.

there’s a thin line between laughing and crying. you feel like you’re somewhere in the middle right now.

“christ, i need a fucking drink.” you mutter to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

“mind if i join you?”

of course. why are you even surprised?

without looking him in the eye, you respond to his question with one of your own. “sure you want my company?”

“beats going drinking alone.” mingyu shrugs next to you.

you let out a sarcastic chuckle at that. “whatever you say.”

luckily for you, the nearest bar is around the block. the walk there is quiet. you’re not sure what to say to him, and you feel him subtly looking your way.

he holds the door open for you to go in first. the place is not all that crowded yet, only a few tables occupied, probably because it’s still relatively early in the evening.

since no one else is seated by the bar top, you choose to head to one of the high stools there, ordering two shots of vodka before even sitting down.

the bartender puts two shot glasses in front of you and pours the liquid in both until they’re completely filled. mingyu looks at you as he picks up the small glass, and you just lightly tilt your head as a toast.

his facial expression is as bitter as the alcohol burning in his throat. he hates the way you look at him — like you don’t give a fuck about him.

you look down at your glass. you still haven’t exchanged a single word since leaving the gallery. what the hell are you even supposed to say? you didn’t want to be here with him in the first place.

liar. the little voice in your head creeps in.

the silence feels as painful as trailing your nails down a chalkboard. surprisingly, it’s you who ends up speaking first.

“if you’re trying to make the situation more awkward, you’re succeeding.”

“i’m just trying to find the words. don’t know where to start.”

your voice is hostile and sharp as a blade. “then don’t.”

of course you’re aware you’re being mean. but it’s to serve a purpose. every time you show this side of you, people always leave. better sooner than later, right?

mingyu, instead of feeling insulted by your attitude, looks at you as if he’s deciphering a puzzle. “i will. because i care.”

that makes you remain quiet. you just scoff instead, not knowing what to say next. he shifts in his seat to be able to look at him better — you do the exact opposite, turning your face away from him.

“can i ask you something?”

you don’t actually respond, save for the blank stare you give him. which he takes as a yes.

“you not showing much… is it a front you put up or something you just do?”

an interesting question — one you actually have to think about. “the latter. having a resting bitch face doesn’t really help my case, i guess. but i also enjoy keeping people in the dark a bit. can’t have everyone showing everything.”

“why not?”

blinking at him for a moment, you gently smile at him. it’s not a genuine one. “do you wanna know why you feel at a disadvantage right now?”

“because your alcohol tolerance is better than mine?”

“because you can’t tell what i’m thinking.”

he then puts his chin up to look at you better. you tilt your head a little, as if you were following his gaze, and he feels like he’s on the right track here.

“maybe i kinda like that disadvantage.” he suggests, but you shake your head knowingly.

“no, you don’t.”

“how would you know?”

you suck at the inside of your cheek for a moment, taking a breath. “my mom once said to me that it bothered her she couldn’t tell what i was thinking.” you pout your lips as if you’re thinking about it. “i told her i liked that. being an open book is my worst nightmare.”

“why?”

“putting your thoughts and feelings on display make you vulnerable. being vulnerable makes you weak.”

“so you think it’s better to isolate your feelings completely — discuss them with no one? ever?”

“unless it’s necessary, yes. besides, feelings aren’t black and white. do you know how difficult it is to convey them through words, let alone getting the person at the other end of the line to actually understand them?”

mingyu looks—no, gazes at you. “how will you know if you don’t try?”

“how do you know i haven’t? you think you’re the first person who’s tried to get close to me like this?” you ask, tilting your head. “speaking of which, i’ve been having a real hard time trying to figure out what it is you want from me. i’m not buying the whole ‘i-just-wanna-be-friends’ façade. never did. i thought it was the sex, but i initiated it more often than you did.”

“it wasn’t for the sex.” he shrugs his shoulders. “i like you.”

“so you’ve mentioned. since when?”

“since… always.”

“we never even talked before soonyoung’s party.”

“no, but i liked you.”

“bullshit.” you fire back at him, scoffing sarcastically. “i’m hardly likeable — nothing i’m insecure about. just a plain fact.”

“and yet i like you a lot. must be shocking.” he jests, the vaguest hint of a rising smirk on his face. “do you like me?”

“i can’t stand you,” you reach out to push his chin upwards so he looks up at you, only realizing how physically comfortable you’ve become with him after doing so, “but at least you’ve got a pretty face to make up for it.”

it’s unbelievable, mingyu thinks to himself. the way you keep teasing him, keep being a little mean to him, and he just eats it all up.

every moment he spends with you has him wondering what on earth it is about you that draws him in so much.

but, fuck, he just can’t get enough.

another shot is poured into your glasses, which you take between your thumb and index finger, nodding at him so he’ll take his.

the liquid burns in his throat, making him feel hot, and you get awfully turned on when you notice the way he wipes off the drops that accidentally ran down his chin.

“i think i’ve got you all figured out.”

his bold statement and matching attitude has you raising your shoulders. “oh yeah? go on. try me, i’m curious.”

the words tumble from his lips as if they’re part of a monologue he’s been rehearsing for weeks. “you feel so much, express so little. i bet it must be hard to keep up with your own mind sometimes. i think you often feel judged and misunderstood because of your attitude, but you don’t mind that much, since you prefer a smaller circle anyways. you simply don’t like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but it’d be a big mistake to think you don’t have one — and honestly, i’d do anything to be close to it.”

it’s not often you’re speechless.

he describes you almost perfectly, and your body language subconsciously changes, confident and playful demeanor gone — the cold and distant side of your personality coming out again.

“good job,” you tell him softly, moving to grab a few bucks from your wallet to pay for the drinks, “i guess i should say congratulations. you know what makes me tick. that means we’re done here, right?”

he finally spots the shift in your behavior. “wait—”

“have a good night, gyu.”

you curse yourself for accidentally using the nickname as you walk out of the bar, putting your coat on, feeling raindrops on your hair and skin once you get outside.

as you’re trying to make yourself remember where the nearest metro stop is, you hear him utter your name behind you. “what did i do? was it something i said?”

letting impulsivity get to you for once, you scoff, muttering a response. “it was everything you said.”

“why?” he asks, the tension running thicker. “why won’t you just let me in, for once? just this time?”

you hate how desperate he sounds — you hate how much it’s tugging at your heartstrings.

“why do you even want me to?”

“‘cause i like you.”

“no, you don’t. you just like whatever chase this is, just a little fun to keep things interesting for you.”

“has it ever crossed your mind that maybe i like you for you?”

“i’ve given you no reason to like me.”

“what, you think that no one out there will like you unless you act differently?”

his words feel like a growing tear in your heart. your self-esteem is so ridiculously low that it makes you believe no one would love you if you were to be unapologetically yourself — and hearing someone say it out loud hurts.

mingyu watches as the emotion flashes through your eyes, one of the few glimpses of what you feel underneath that cold exterior.

“it’s not true,” he says before you attempt to answer, “because you… being around you makes me happy. when i’m not with you, i think of when i’ll see you next. you matter to me.”

you’re not sure what’s worse — the fact that you reciprocate his feelings or the words that are coming out of your mouth.

“you’d do best to try and get rid of that feeling.”

but he knows there’s more lingering behind your words. “tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

“what i feel means nothing.” you state, voice laced with hurt, though not from his words. “let it go.”

“why don’t you wanna try?”

“because it’d be a disaster. for both of us.”

“c’mon,” he pleads, gently touching your fingers, “please don’t push me away.”

“god—i have my reasons, mingyu.”

“then explain them to me!”

“i can’t give you what you want!” you cry out, needing him to understand you. “someone like you just doesn’t work with someone like me. it might sound stupid, but it’s the truth. i wouldn’t tell you i love you, i’m fucking—bitter and cynical, if not misanthropic, i like my own peace and quiet, i fucking hate talking about what i feel — and you are the complete opposite. i’d make you miserable. you’d grow to hate me.”

“no, i wouldn’t.”

“you would. you... i do like you. i don’t know what the hell you did, like—it’s bizarre how much i’ve grown to like you. but at the end of the day, we’d never work, because i cannot give you the love that you deserve. i know you. you want someone spontaneous, easygoing, sociable — those are all traits that i don’t have. i wish i did, but that’s just how i’m engineered. we wouldn’t work.”

“how do you even know that?”

“i’ve had two boyfriends before this. both broke things off with me ‘cause i didn't show love the way they were used to, and even when they called it quits, i didn’t show a thing. because i don’t do that. no matter how often i say it, no one ever appears to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they get close to me, so i’m telling you now. this? you and me?” you ask, finger pointing between the two of you. “we’d be idiots to try.”

“fine. then consider me an idiot.” he breathes out, just barely registering how close he’s standing to you. “i’m willing to try. please.”

the crease between your brows is the sign of your inner conflict. “i’m sick of getting hurt. sick of people making me feel like my feelings aren’t valid solely because i don’t like expressing them.”

“i’m not gonna hurt you. we can take things slow.”

“gyu—” you plead, almost like you’re begging him to stop tearing your walls down despite knowing he won’t.

and perhaps the other part of you does want to let him in. it’s so scary, so tempting.

“i don’t wanna lose you.”

he adores you so much — it’s ridiculous. “you won’t lose me. please…” he touches your fingers so gently, getting closer to you as you barely make an effort to push him away, “please let me in.”

his heartbeat rises when you look him in the eye — he wonders how the hell a person so strong can look so afraid. but he’s determined to show that you have no reason to be anymore.

it’s raining even harder now. instead of backing you up against the wall, he takes a few steps away from you as if he’s leaving, only for him to turn around and gesture for you to come with him.

mingyu’s smile shines even in the heavy downpour — a bright light that balances out your dull one.

he extends his hand, and you finally get over the edge of your fear, finally able to take control of your own body and slide your hand in his.

you and kim mingyu shouldn’t work — perhaps that’s exactly the reason why you do.

thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

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kwanisms · 1 year ago

Text

Rough Waters — h.jisung

» stray kids masterlist «

➮ samebito!Jisung × f!Reader wc: 10k summary: Y/N is a marine biologist who is obsessed with finding new sea life. During a night dive, she stumbles across a very well hidden underwater cave entrance and finds herself meeting something that defies all logic and evolution. She forms a bond with the creature and comes back almost every night to visit him. genres/themes/au: fluff (if u squint), smut; supernatural and japanese folklore themes, s2l, slight predator/prey themes; non idol au, merman au, samebito au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, a little bit of arguing between Y/N and some of the townsfolk about the existence of mermaids, some slightly sad conversation about Jisung being alone, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! special taglist: @yoonguurt , @anyamaris , @wooyoungqueen , @kpop-stories-21 , @xsweetelegantdiasterx , @kookthief , @stardragongalaxy , @millennial-fangirl , @blankdyean , @imwithurmother , @bangchans-angel , @oreoqueen , @yjeonginlvr , @zdgx1 , @shuxsoo , @s00buwu , @queenmea604 , @pochaccomin , @katsukis1wife , @linos-catnip , @wh0r3mir4 , @cutiespaghetti Join the taglist! »» Closed ! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED.

a/n: this is super self-indulgent and I will not apologize for shark merman cnc Jisung. I wanted this Jisung so I made him. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. If you enjoyed this, reblog or leave a comment. I love feedback. The next part, Changbin's part, is the last one of this series! That being said, next up is the Holiday Special of Tales from Camp. You can sign up for that taglist here and read the first two installments here. If you've yet to read the OG Tales from Camp, that masterlist is here. Thank you so much for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), unprotected sex (he’s a freakin shark merman. You think he cares about avoiding pregnancy? He can’t even get her pregnant lol but you need to use protection!), oral (f receiving), con noncon, pool/water sex (kinda lol), dirty talk, use of pet names (little fish, cutie, baby, pet, etc), rough sex, dom!Jisung, sub!Reader, even though it’s cnc Y/N is very receptive towards his advances and in the end, she does give him consent. But if CNC or dubcon makes you uncomfy, don’t read it. This is my fantasy. I wrote this for me lol if I missed anything let me know

dialogue prompt: ❛ I'm waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you. ❜

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The warning sign at the beach that read ‘beware of sharks’ in all capital letters should have served as warning for what you were about to get yourself into.

Living in a seaside town has always had its perks. Sandy beaches to visit in the summers, the smell of salt that you’d come to love, boating, all the seafood you could want among them. It was almost like your own personal paradise.

The one drawback was the shark population that increased at the end of summer which drove away the rest of the tourism for the season. You weren’t mad about it. After all, the ocean was home to all marine animals, sharks included. As a biologist, you knew each animal had its own purpose and was beneficial to the ecosystem, especially sharks.

So despite the danger, you never missed an opportunity to dive when the weather allowed. Of course, you chose night time for your dives.

Night was perfect as the animals weren’t as active without the sunlight.

Your dive for the night had taken you to a rocky part of the shore where you knew caves would be. The caves along the shore were always hard to reach and most of them only had underwater entrances.

You’d explored a fair share of them since moving to this town but there were many more you wanted to explore and see what kind of life you could find.

This excursion was like any other, you’d made a plan with the local coast guard as well as letting your contact in town know when, where, and how long you’d be. It was a standard procedure which had become routine for you.

You had taken out your boat and anchored it just off shore and near what you assumed was the opening to another cave before suiting up and jumping into the water. The water was cool enough in the summer months but in the fall it was almost freezing, making you grateful for the wetsuit you wore no matter the temperature. Making sure your mask was secure you slowly sank into the water, turning on and shining your light towards the bottom of the rocks.

An opening was visible at the base and you carefully made your way down, inspecting the opening before starting inside. You’d explored many of these caves before, you knew the procedure and the caves never scared you. To some, caving was one thing but to do so underwater was an entirely different beast. To you, it was almost second nature.

As you continued forward, you scanned the walls of the cave, taking note of the coral, algae, and other life that had taken root on the walls. It wasn’t uncommon to find life in places like this. Sea caves were often the home to unique and enclosed ecosystems.

As you gently propelled yourself forward, you noticed how the cave seemed to open up. As you reached the end you looked up and saw that the cave did indeed open up into a large cavern. Sand lined the bottom of the cavern, many coral reefs and other life taking up residence. You started to swim up, noticing the surface approaching rapidly.

You broke through the surface of the water and found that the cavern was much larger than you initially thought. Swimming over to the edge of the pool, you pulled yourself up and started to look around as you started to remove your mask.

It was a rounded cavern. The pool was about twenty feet in diameter but there was a rocky ledge where you were currently perched on and then the rocky floor continued for another twenty feet making the whole diameter of the cavern about forty feet. You pulled your mask off and set it down as you undid and shrugged off your oxygen tank.

“This is incredible,” you whispered to yourself as you removed your flippers and got up, starting to walk around the cavern and inspect the walls. There was a slight glitter to them as you shined your light. Not like they were wet but like some kind of diamond dust was embedded in the rock.

You looked straight above your head and noticed there was an almost perfect circular cut out in the cavern ceiling and moonlight was filtering through the hole. The moonlight hit the surface of the water and danced around the cavern.

As you were inspecting, you noticed something else.

The cave seemed inhabited. You noticed bones collected in a pile and an old fire pit. You wondered who might seek shelter in this cave when it was so close to the boardwalk but didn’t have time to dwell on it as you heard a large splash coming from the pool.

You made your way back over and cursed as you saw your mask and oxygen tank sinking to the bottom of the pool. “Shit,” you said softly and looked around. You hoped there might be a break in the rocks that would allow you to exit the cave instead of having to go back into the pool but you saw nothing.

You turned around on the spot, trying to figure out a way out of this but you saw nothing that could help. There was nothing you could use to reach the tank and mask which were now nestled at the bottom of the pool in the sand. “Fuck!” you cursed, your voice echoing off the wall.

You looked away from the pool when you heard a shift against the rock behind you.

Shining your light back, you saw nothing and chalked it up to nerves.

You turned back, eyes catching something dark in the pool below you before you felt something grab you and pull you into the pool.

You kicked and fought against whatever it was until it seemed to let go of you and you quickly swam to the surface, coughing once you broke through the surface. You tried to pull yourself up onto the rocky ledge but something grabbed your leg and tugged, pulling you off the wall and back into the water.

Just as quickly as it grabbed you, it let go.

You tried to shine your flashlight around but whatever it was moved too fast for you to get a good glimpse of it. In a desperate attempt to throw the animal off, you threw your flashlight away, turning back for the ledge at the light splashed a considerable distance away.

You hoped the splash would distract the animal enough for you to get away and it seemed to work as you scrambled up onto the rocky ledge before you pulled away and peered back at the still water’s surface. Your eyes scanned the area, looking for any kind of predator that could have been responsible.

Upon not seeing one, you looked down to inspect your arm and your ankle. Your skin was unbroken and mostly unscathed. There were slight imprints, almost like teeth or maybe even claws but no blood had been drawn.

A small splash caught your attention and you snapped your head up in time to see a ripple cross the surface of the water. Something had disturbed the water. You saw a dark shadow move near the bottom of the pool, only noticing it as it crossed in front of the beam of your flashlight.

You were being watched. Whatever had dragged you into the water knew you were there and it was circling the pool. Waiting. Hunting. Whatever it was was sentient enough to know it had you trapped. It knew the only way out of the cave was through the water and it would wait.

You should have been terrified. After all, it was hunting you but your curiosity wouldn’t be satisfied until you caught a glimpse of it. You had to know what it was.

Carefully, you approached the edge of the pool, eyes scanning the dark and catching a large shadow as it swam in circles. Not in an erratic or frenzied pattern but calmly. Almost… leisurely.

As you peered over the edge of the rocks, the shadow stopped circling and started to swim to the surface. You watched in awe as a dark smooth body broke through the surface before you saw the fin. A shark fin. ‘Of course it was a shark,’ you told yourself watching as the creature moved towards you.

You pulled back slightly as it drew closer and closer. You were well aware that some sharks were known for their breaching behavior, namely great whites. This was definitely not a great white shark. It was much darker. It could have been a tiger shark but tigers weren’t known for their aggressive behavior.

Bull sharks on the other hand were and though bull sharks hadn’t been spotted in the area in over 20 years, it wasn’t completely impossible.You drew back entirely, hoping the animal wouldn’t try to jump out of the water to reach you.

As it drew closer, you watched as it dove down with just precision that you were starting to wonder if it was a shark after all. Sharks weren’t known for diving so steeply. They were gradual divers. You leaned over the edge and lost sight of the shadow. Your eyes caught the flickering of your flashlight and you cursed as it went dark, the illumination you had now gone and only the light of the moon allowing you to see.

The water seemed to still as you looked around. Had it left? Was the animal gone? Your instincts told you it was still there, waiting for you to slip up before it took you at its latest meal.

Even though sharks didn’t go out of their way to eat humans, if one was hungry enough, it would stalk one and wait. Just like any other starving predator.

As you looked around, you saw bubbles just under where you were leaning over the water.

You glanced down and let out an ear piercing scream as the creature surfaced quickly, forcing you back as it breached and landed on top of you. You struggled to push it away, taking care to avoid the head and any potential bites.

As you struggled under the weight of the animal, you could have sworn you heard… laughter?

Your eyes popped open and you looked up, fear and shock mixing as you stared at the creature above you.

You were looking into the face of a man. Your shock and fear turned briefly into anger as you tried to make sense of the situation. Had it been a man this whole time? Some weird cave hermit that had been tormenting you and pretending to be a shark to scare you into leaving his home?

“You should see your face!” he said as his laughter grew. You narrowed your eyes and tried to sit up but it was then you noticed the lower half of his body and gasped.

From the waist up, he was human. Golden tan skin that blended into the dark blackish-blue of his shark-like tail. A… merman? Your eyes traveled back up to his face, taking in each and every detail bathed in moonlight. He wore around his neck a black cord necklace with shells and in the middle, a pendant made from a shark tooth.

You watched as he continued to laugh, sharp pointed teeth peeking out from his plush peachy lips.

“You humans are so much fun,” he said as his laughter subsided. His hands rested on the rock under you as he leaned over you, his slim waist positioned between your thighs as he smirked at you. Leaning slightly to the left, you looked over his body again. The dark blackish-blue faded into a pale grayish-blue on the ventricle side and the same grayish-blue stripes covered his back. The fin on his back was just past his waist and was a very typical shark-like fin.

His tail was also the trademark shark fin but it was more like a thresher tail with the top part of the fin longer. Your eyes traveled back up to his face, inspecting the ocean blue irises that stared back at you. “What the--” you trailed off, pushing yourself up, forcing the creature to back up.

“What are you?” you asked, voice full of caution and curiosity. You watched as the creature fell back into the water, disappearing below the surface before popping back up, fixing you with a playful stare. “You’re the scientist,” he noted. “You tell me.”

You stared at him blankly. How could you even expect to explain this? Explain him? His very existence had been disputed and debated for hundreds of years. Mermaids were the stuff of legend and folklore. They weren’t supposed to exist.

If that were the case however, how did you explain this? How did you explain the creature treading water before you? “It has to be some sort of suit,” you mumbled, looking at the shark-like body under the water. The creature scoffed. “It’s always ‘seeing is believing’ with you humans until something shows up and then it’s all ‘has to be fake.’ Do you ever believe anything?” he asked.

You looked up, examining his face. His soft features. Round cheeks, plush pouty lips that started to lift into a crooked smile, showing off his pointed teeth. “I believe in science,” you explained and he rolled his eyes. “But I also believe there are things science can’t explain,” you continued.

You started to lower yourself into the water and he immediately shied away. You held up your hand. “I’m not going to hurt you,” you said softly. You saw his eyes flit to the knife strapped to your thigh. You followed his gaze and quickly removed the weapon.

“For protection,” you replied, setting it on the rocks behind you and facing him. “In case something tries to take a bite out of me,” you added. His brow furrowed. “If you get bit, maybe you shouldn’t get in the water,” he replied and you nodded. “I’ve never been bit,” you answered. “I’ve gotten close, but the knife is a last resort,” you continued.

“You have your teeth and your claws,” you reminded him. “My teeth and nails are no match for shark skin,” you added. “If you aren’t a match, why do you enter the ring?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. A smile spread across your face. “Because I study marine life,” you replied.

“I’m a marine biologist.”

The creature tilted his head the opposite direction. “Are you here to study me?” he asked. You shrugged before answering. “Up until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even know you existed,” you answered, swimming a little closer. He watched you cautiously. “So you didn’t know this cave is my home?” he asked and you shook your head. “No, I had no idea.”

He studied you carefully.

“Are you… a merman?” you asked suddenly. His expression changed, amusement crossing his features as he laughed. “A merman?” he asked incredulously. “Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Those pretty boys live safe and sound in their lairs, never venturing far from home,” he added.

You cocked your head to the side. “Pretty boys?” you asked. “Do you not think you’re pretty?”

Your question must have caught him off guard because he stopped smiling and stared at you, a slight pink hue reaching his cheeks. “N-no,” he answered finally. “I’m not.” You frowned at him. How could he not think he was? You found all sea life incredible beautiful but nothing you’d encountered before had made you think it was attractive and yet here he was before you.

“I think you’re pretty,” you replied. He stared at you, eyes widening. “Y-you do?” he asked softly, to which you nodded. “I think you’re very pretty,” you replied. He swam a little closer, inspecting your face. “So,” you said, breaking the silence. “If you aren’t a merman, what are you?”

He raised his gaze to meet yours, drawing it from your body under the water. “What do you think I am? Hmm, marine biologist?” he asked and you sighed, backing away from him and pulling yourself up onto the rock. “Sorry,” you said as you situated yourself. “My legs were getting tired.”

He watched as you massaged your calves. “I can only tread water for so long.”

“In my experience,” you started. “I’ve never seen anything like you,” you continued. “The shark part is unlike any species I’ve ever seen. It’s like an amalgamation of tiger and thresher sharks,” you noted. He smiled, showing off his pointy teeth as he swam closer. “So you’re saying I’m unique?” he asked.

You nodded as he drew closer. “Unique and otherworldly,” you added. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” He pulled himself back up, leaning over your frame. “You’ve never seen anything like me?” You shook your head again. “Never,” you replied.

Silence fell over the two of you as you stared at one another. His dark hair had started to dry a bit, the ends of his bangs falling into his eyes. “What do you call yourself?” you asked, tilting your head to the right. He smiled, mimicking your movement. “Jisung,” he replied. “My name is Jisung.”

“Jisung,” you repeated. He leaned in, eyes watching your lips as you spoke. “I like the way you say my name,” he whispered. You could feel your heart rate kicking up as he leaned closer. ‘What is he doing?’ You stared back as his eyes moved up to meet your gaze. “What is your name?” he asked just as softly as before.

You froze. He was asking your name? Should you tell him? It’s not like he was going to look you up or something. You then wondered if you should tell any kind of sentient creature your name. Didn’t that give them power over you or something? You must have taken longer than he expected because he smirked at you.

“What’s the matter? Shark got your tongue?” he asked, amused by his own joke.

Your facade broke and you smiled. “Y/N,” you finally answered. “I’m Y/N.” Jisung smiled back, a genuine smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” he replied, lowering back into the water and staring up at you.

“Likewise,” you replied.

After meeting Jisung that night, you promised to come back. And came back you did.

You managed to gain his trust enough to draw a small vial of blood, and take a couple pictures mainly of his tail and markings. You promised to keep his existence a secret, making sure all your research on him was done at home and that you kept everything under wraps.

A few days turned into a week and you came back almost every night, getting to know Jisung and more about his existence. You learned that he wasn’t a merman, like he had said. He was a samebito. He had explained that it was similar to a merman but different folklore and legends.

A week and a half had passed since you first met Jisung and you were currently sitting on the edge of the boat, writing in your notebook, going over your notes before suiting up and jumping in the water.

A splash caught your attention and you glanced up. You weren’t sure why you even looked, it was night time and you couldn’t even see the water except near your boat. You grabbed the spotlight, flipping it on and turning it slowly until something came into view and you sighed.

“Someone’s impatient,” you chuckled, letting go of the light and returning to your notes as Jisung swam over to your boat. “I got lonely,” he said softly as he reached the end of your boat. He quickly pulled himself up to sit on the side of the boat near you.

“What’re you writing?” he asked, leaning over to see your notebook. “Just some notes,” you mumbled, finishing up your notes and closing the notebook quickly, and setting it aside. You turned to look at him and your smile fell upon seeing the fresh scar on his shoulder.

“What happened here?” you asked, voice laced with concern as you scooted closer.

He glanced down and let out a chuckle. “Oh,” he said softly. “I got a little too close to a shark feed ground,” he continued. “I’ll heal pretty quickly,” he added as you inspected the wound. “I was hunting and got in the way,” he admitted with a sheepish smile.

“Have you eaten?” you asked, looking up at him. He met your gaze and hesitated. “What?” he asked and watched as you got up and walked over to the opposite side of the boat, lifting one of the seats and reached in to pull out one of the fish you’d caught earlier.

“Here,” you said, holding it up. “I mean,” you added, turning your head to look at the fish. “I could cook it,” you said softly. Jisung smiled and chuckled. “Did you catch that for me?” he asked as you walked over, holding the fish up. You nodded. “There’s more in the cooler,” you added.

Jisung chuckled and shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said with a smile. “I’ve eaten,” he explained, taking the fish from you. “I don’t want to gross you out,” he added as he inspected it. “Oh,” you said dejectedly. Jisung looked up and handed the fish back. “Just keep it on ice for a little while longer and sell it if you don’t eat fish,” he said softly.

You took the fish and took it back to the cooler, closing it and placing the seat down before heading back and sitting back down. “So when did this happen?” you asked, nodding at his shoulder. He glanced down again as he thought.

“Oh, maybe like a couple hours ago,” he replied and your eyes widened in shock. “Wait, really?” you asked and he nodded, looking confused at your shock. “Yeah, I heal pretty quickly,” he added with a laugh. You leaned forward, reaching up to brush your fingers against his skin.

“Weird,” you murmured, making him throw his head back with a laugh. “Sorry,” you said sheepishly. Jisung shook his head. “It’s okay,” he replied. “Like you said, you’ve never met anyone like me.” You chuckled, nodding. “That’s true,” you added.

Silence fell over the two of you as you looked up at the sky, the waves lapping at the sides of the boat and a gentle breeze blowing through the air. You looked over at Jisung to find him already looking at you, a calm expression on his face.

“What?” you asked softly and he shook his head, a smile spreading across his face. “Nothing,” he answered. “Oh!” he said quickly sitting up. “I found something really cool while out the other night!” he said and turned towards you.

“Wanna see it?” he asked. You nodded, feeling excited. “Where are we going?” you asked, getting up and starting to strip to your bikini, not noticing the way Jisung’s eyes followed your movement and body. You moved to grab your wetsuit.

Jisung waited patiently for you to pull it on. “Jump in,” Jisung said, looking at the water and you looked at the water. “We’re swimming there?” you asked, making him chuckle. “It’s not far,” he answered. “It’s worth it, I promise.” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Come on, Y/N,” he groaned. “Live a little,” he added with a wink before rolling towards the edge of the boat and diving into the water. You sighed and grabbed your boat keys, pulling the elastic over your wrist and walking over to the light, shutting it off the light and heading to the bow of the boat, grabbing your flashlight and snorkel mask.

As you reached the back, you turned the light on to see Jisung was floating, waiting for you. “Where are we going?” you asked as you held the flashlight between your knees as you pulled the mask on. “Not far,” Jisung said as you grabbed the flashlight and climbed down the ladder, joining him in the water.

Jisung took your hand and gently pulled you along. “Come here,” he said softly. “Hold on,” he added, guiding your arms around his neck. “Are you sure?” you asked, softly, cheeks burning as you looked at him so closely. He turned his head to look at you, his own cheeks turning soft pink.

“Uh,” yeah,” he said softly. “Just try not to get under me,” he added.

It felt weird, hanging off him from behind as he started swimming. It almost felt like you were riding a shark, the trashing as he started off but soon turned into a smooth motion as he zipped through the water, propelled only by the powerful tail.

Jisung was careful to stay near the surface so you didn’t have to hold your breath with the mask. You could tell he was holding back, not swimming as fast as you knew he could go. You’d seen him zipping through the water before, breaching the surface at speeds you suspected most sharks could reach.

This was much slower than you’d witnessed.

Jisung started to slow, lifting his head out of the water. As he came to a stop, you slid from his back, reaching up to remove your snorkel mask. “We’re almost there,” he said, looking up at the stars overhead. You glanced skyward, letting out a soft gasp.

“Wow,” you whispered. Jisung chuckled, grabbing your hand gently. “Come on,” he said quietly, tugging you through the water towards the rocky beach. “I’ve seen these rocks when visiting you,” you commented as he led you towards them. “You’ll need your goggles for this,” he said, turning to look back at you. As soon as the words left his lips, you pulled them back on, dumping any water out of them.

“Now what?” you asked as he took your hand again. “Hold your breath,” he instructed. You took a deep breath and allowed him to pull you under the water, leading you down towards a cave opening. It wasn’t unlike the entrance to his cave; only this one was much narrower.

The cave opening seemed to go on forever, winding around as you let Jisung pull you. Your lungs were starting to burn and you knew if you didn’t hurry, you’d start to suffocate. Finally, Jisung pulled you free from the narrow cave into a much larger one and pushed you towards the surface.

You kicked towards the surface of the pool, breaching at the same time he did. Jisung floated near as you coughed, allowing air to fill your lungs again, the taste of salt on your tongue. “I had no idea there were so many of these,” you gasped. “How many are there?”

Jisung chuckled, taking your hand. “Come,” he said simply, pulling you through the water. The inside of this cave was much different than his. Instead of a single round chamber, there were multiple round chambers, connected together.

Jisung pulled you along into the next chamber until you reached the last one. “Through there,” he nodded towards a window in the rock wall. “This is so cool,” you commented as you swam over, pulling yourself up to peer out.

It was then that you saw it.

Jisung pulled himself up next to you, a wide grin on his face. “Wow,” you whispered. “Cool, huh?” he asked, resting his chin on his forearm.

Outside the cave was more stretch of ocean, waves rolling up onto a sandy beach. There was only about twenty feet between the beach and the treeline behind it and the beach stretched for about fifty feet between two rocky bluffs.

All along the beach, rolling in the waves were glowing blue lights. “Bioluminescent plankton,” you whispered. “They come here every night to feed,” he whispered. “It’s pretty cool, with the stars and the lights,” he continued.

You turned to look at him.

“This little alcove is remote,” he explained. “Human’s haven’t started colonizing it,” he added. “I think it might be privately owned,” he continued. You glanced at him before looking back at the beach. “I hope it stays like this,” you whispered, also resting your chin on your forearm.

You sat in silence, watching the lights dance in the waves. You could feel Jisung’s eyes on you and you turned to look at him, your cheeks burning. You watched his eyes flit between your eyes and your lips before he slowly moved. He lifted his hand, moving it to cup your face, thumb tracing the curve of your cheek.

Your heart started to hammer in your chest as he leaned closer. At that moment, a shrill laugh rang out from the direction of the trees. Jisung pulled back abruptly and you turned away from his gaze to look at the beach as a beam of light bounced along the sand.

“Teenagers,” you whispered as a group of teens came out of the woods, giggling as they descended on the shore. Jisung scoffed as he watched them. “Ungrateful little shits.” You snorted into a laugh. “Come on,” you said softly. “Before they decide to come into the water and find this cave with us inside.”

Jisung allowed you to lead him away, back through the cave. You pulled your mask back on, taking another deep breath and letting Jisung pull you through the narrow opening and back into the open ocean. You took your time swimming back, only hitching a ride when your legs gave out.

Back at the boat, Jisung watched you climb up the ladder and pulled himself up on the side again, watching as you disappeared into the cabin. In the privacy of your boat, you stripped and dried off, pulling on dry clothes and running a towel haphazardly over your hair before returning to Jisung.

His hair had started to dry as he lounged on the side of the boat, his tail hanging down the side of the vessel. You chuckled, turning on the lights of the boat and Jisung opened one eye to look at you. “Are you gonna sleep there?” you asked as you walked over, taking a seat on the cushion below where he was lounging.

He propped himself up, looking down at you. “What happened back there,” he started, his voice taking on a more serious tone. You looked away, feeling a sour taste bubbling up from your stomach. ‘He wants to forget it,’ you told yourself.

“It’s fine,” you interrupted. “It can’t happen, I know,” you added. You refused to look up at him so you missed the way his brows knitted together as he stared at you, a slight pout on his lips. “That’s what you’re going to say, right?” you asked when he didn’t answer.

“I’m a human and you’re not. So we can’t.”

You felt his fingers move under your chin, turning and tilting your head to face him. “Stop jumping to conclusions,” he said sternly before leaning in and closing the distance, pressing his lips against yours. For a split second, you panicked before accepting the gesture and melting into the kiss.

You whined as he started to pull back. You pulled him back in by the back of his neck, kissing him more fiercely. Jisung accepted your advances, lips parting as he took back control, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You pulled him closer, leaning back onto the cushions and forcing him to follow your movements.

Jisung groaned into the kiss and pulled back quickly. “Wait,” he gasped. “Sorry,” you whispered as he pushed himself up. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Just give me a second.” You sat up as he pulled back, taking a few deep breaths. “Things were getting a little intense,” he admitted.

You smiled shyly. “Sorry,” you replied. “I got a little excited I guess,” you added, shrugging. Jisung chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “That’s okay,” he answered. “I did, too,” he admitted with a grin. “It happened really fast. I’m sorry if I crossed a line,” he continued.

You shook your head, pulling your knees up and resting your head against the backrest of the seat. “It’s okay,” you said softly, looking up at him in the lights of the boat. “I wanted it.” Jisung nibbled on his bottom lip nervously. “You did?” he asked, his voice sounding optimistic.

You nodded. “I did,” you reassured him. “You didn’t cross a line.”

“That’s a relief.”

Silence fell over you as you watched him and he watched you for a while. You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you spoke. “Do you ever get scared?” you asked him. He tilted his head curiously. “Scare?” he asked. “Of what?”

“The town? Fishermen? Being discovered?”

Jisung hesitated, no doubt pondering his answer. “Sometimes,” he answered finally. “I guess I haven’t really thought about it but I like being left alone,” he said, smiling before speaking. “Well, mostly alone,” he added. “I just want to live my life like most creatures.”

“Have you ever been spotted before?” you asked and he smiled wider. “You tell me? Heard any stories?” you snorted as you realized what he was hinting at. “No, thankfully,” you replied. Jisung chuckled at your response. “There you have it. Safe and undiscovered except by you.”

He leaned closer, brushing his lips against yours before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Your cheeks heated up again. You could feel the heat spread all the way down to your core and you tried not to focus on the feeling lingering in your stomach. Jisung noticed a shift in your demeanor and tilted his head.

“You okay?” he asked softly, moving his hand to caress your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. You nodded wordlessly. “Yeah,” you answered. “I’m great,” you lied. “But it’s getting late,” you commented. “I should probably head out.”

You got up, Jisung sitting up and watching as you did. “Hey,” he called softly, reaching out for your hand. You allowed him to take hold of it and pull you closer. “I have to go hunting tomorrow but I’ll see you after, yeah?” he asked. You nodded, leaning in to press your forehead against his.

“Goodnight,” you said softly. Jisung pulled you in, placing a tender kiss against your lips.

“Goodnight,” he whispered. You watched as he dove off the side of the boat and into the water with a splash, only surfacing to look up at you. You waved at him as he stared up at you.

“See you tomorrow!” he called before disappearing below the surface, no doubt heading into his cave.

“See you tomorrow,” you whispered.

Only you didn’t see him the next day. Or the day after that. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him.

The night after Jisung took you to see the bioluminescent plankton and kissed you, your dreams were plagued with him. They started innocently, spending time exploring the caves but they soon took a turn and you were starting to have inappropriate thoughts and dreams about him.

Things you should definitely not be thinking about.

The dreams only escalated after that and soon you were dreaming about him showing up in your home, shark tail gone and replaced with human legs.

It was starting to get out of hand.

You hadn’t been back to see Jisung in almost a week and you were feeling guilty not only for disappearing but also for having continuous wet dreams about him. How were you supposed to look him in the eye when all you could think about was him pinning you down and having his way with you?

You knew sooner or later, you’d have to go back out there. You couldn’t just not ever come back. You at least needed to explain to him why you’d been avoiding him and avoiding coming back.

The final push came when you were at the market, looking at some cuts of steak for dinner when you overheard a conversation at the next stall over.

“You’re so full of shit, Paul,” a woman said, shaking her head as she continued crocheting. “No I’m not!” the man you presumed was Paul replied. “I saw it! Looked like a great big tiger shark but it had the upper body of a man!”

You froze, eyes widening as you inspected a particular cut of steak. ‘Jisung?’

“And where did you see this mermaid?” another man asked, laughing. “Near the pier! I was doing some fishing off the end when I spotted it! Was huge! Like ten feet long!” You felt your heart start to pound as you forced a smile and pointed out two steaks.

The stall owner packaged them up for you. “Thanks,” you murmured, handing over a few notes to pay for the meat as the conversation beside you carried on.

“I swear, I saw it!”

You walked away as the others around the man laughed and waved their hands, dismissing his claims. Upon returning home, your mind was made up for you as you entered your kitchen, making one of the steaks for yourself and saving the other. You wonder if Jisung had ever had steak before.

After dinner, you packed your stuff, grabbing your bikini and house keys. You stopped and grabbed the steak from the fridge and headed out of the house, locking up and walking towards the marina, bag slung over your shoulder.

You ignored the night beach goers enjoying bonfires as you headed for the docks. Once on your boat, you casted off, backing your boat out and driving out towards the caves where you knew Jisung had taken up residence.

You reached the rocks in record time, casting your anchor and moving to lower the microphone in the water. You normally didn’t have to use it but you figured after a week, you might need to use it to draw Jisung out.

You turned the dial, starting the dolphin call and sat on one of the seats.

You waited patiently, arms crossed over your chest before you got up and headed into the cabin, changing out of your clothes and into your bikini and then pulling on the wetsuit. As you exited the cabin you heard a splash and looked up to see Jisung perched on the side of your boat staring at you.

There was no smile nor greeting. He merely stared at you blankly.

Neither of you said anything as you stared at one another. Finally Jisung spoke.

“What?” he asked shortly. You crossed to the cooler, lifting the seat and opening the cooler lid. You pulled out the steak and held it up to show him. “Ever had beef?” you asked. Jisung narrowed his eyes. “That’s all you have to say?” he asked. You tore open the brown paper and removed the plastic, holding up the steak.

“Have you ever had steak?”

He glared at you. “Is this some kind of test?” he asked. You shook your head, walking over to where he was and climbed up to sit next to him. “No,” you replied. “I was at the market earlier and got steak,” you explained. He stared at you, glancing down at the meat and back up.

“And this is relevant, how?” he asked. He was clearly upset at you and you couldn’t fault him. You disappeared after he’d kissed you. You presented the steak. “How about you eat and I’ll talk, hmm?” you asked. He looked up at you hesitantly before he nodded.

You handed him the steak to inspect. “You said it’s beef?” he asked. You nodded as he raised it to sniff. “Cow,” you added. “It’s actually a really tender cut,” you continued. “I cooked the other one earlier and ate it for dinner.”

You turned away as he nibbled at the end of the steak. “I also heard an interesting story at the market when I was buying this steak,” you explained. “One of the guys there, a local fisherman. name’s Paul,” you said, glancing at him.

“Well, Paul told everyone in his vicinity that he’d seen something out on the pier while fishing this morning,” you continued, noticing how Jisung’ gaze flickered to you. “Said he’d seen something… strange.” Jisung lowered the partially eaten steak.

“Said it was huge. Looked like a massive tiger shark,” you continued as Jisung stared unblinkingly at you. “Said it had the torso of a man.” Realization dawned on his face as you spoke. “I was spotted?” he asked and you sighed. “What were you doing at the pier in broad daylight?” you asked.

Jisung looked away from you and down at the meat. “I went looking for you,” he admitted. Your heart skipped a beat. “Why?” you asked softly. “Because you vanished,” he replied, looking up at you. “I haven’t seen you for a week!”

Your stomach sank. It was as you feared. “I’m sorry,” you said softly as he ripped the steak apart with his hands. “I was dealing with some things,” you added as he tore into one of the pieces. You watched as he chewed the raw meat and swallowed. “Are you okay now?” he asked.

You nodded. “For the most part,” you added. “I’m still… dealing,” you admitted. Jisung devoured the last of the steak and looked at you. “Do you have any more of that?” he asked, sniffing the air. You chuckled and shook your head. “No,” you replied. “Just the one.”

He pouted. “That was really good,” he murmured, looking disappointed. He perked up quickly. “You’re here though,” he added and you nodded. “I know,” you replied. “And I’m sorry I was gone.” He shook his head and nodded towards the water. “I have something to show you, come on!” he said and before you could answer, he rolled off the boat with a splash into the water below.

Sighing you grabbed your snorkel mask and turned off the boat lights, making sure to grab your keys and the ankle flashlight. Once you were equipped, you climbed down the ladder and into the water with a splash. Making sure the mask was secure, you ducked your head.

You could see Jisung swimming near the opening to his cave. Once he was certain you spotted him, he slipped into the narrow opening and you took a deep breath before following, removing the mouth piece of your snorkel.

You pulled yourself into the opening and followed the path to the interior chamber, kicking toward the surface. Jisung was sitting on the ledge of the pool and you moved over to join him, pulling the mask off and setting it aside.

“What did you wanna show me?” you asked as you pulled yourself up. Jisung held up his hand, showing you a collection of shells. “Scallops,” you muttered, picking up one of the shells. “And this,” he added, showing you an intact clam.

“It already died,” he explained as he carefully pried it open with his nails. “But this is what I really wanted to show you,” he explained as he picked up something small and round and handed it over, placing it in your palm. It was a pearl.

“It’s so pretty,” you breathed, holding the pearl closer. Jisung smiled before he slipped into the water. “I have one more thing to show you,” he added and disappeared under the water, diving down to the bottom of the pool.

He resurfaced moments later and swam closer, holding up something small, smooth, and purple. “Sea glass,” he said as you took the smooth stone-like material. “I see this stuff all the time,” he explained as he rested his chin on your knee. You smiled at him. “You’re giving gifts now?” you asked and he nodded.

He took a deep breath, the smile on his face dropping. “Is something different about you?” he asked suddenly. You glanced down at him and shook your head. “No,” you replied. He lifted his head, sniffing the air. “Something smells different…”

Your cheeks burned as he leaned closer, inhaling your scent.

“Oh,” he said softly, glancing up at you.

“Are you-”

“These are really pretty gifts,” you interrupted, looking down at the pearl and sea glass. Jisung’s brow furrowed as you avoided his gaze. “Y/N,” he started and when you still didn’t look at him, he pulled himself up, caging you in with his arms as his body slotted between your thighs.

You let out a surprised squeak, the pearl and sea glass falling from your hands and into the water with a plop. Jisung was inspecting your face, leaning closer. “Jisung,” you warned as he leaned even closer, forcing you to lean back, holding yourself up with one hand.

One of his hands moved to your lower back and pulled your hips flush against him, forcing another squeak from your lips. Heat spread into your cheeks and pooled in the pit of your stomach and Jisung’s eyes widened as the realization hit him.

“So that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” he whispered. You shook your head. “I haven’t been avoiding-AHH!” you gasped as he very quickly pinned you down, your back flat against the rock as he hovered over you.

“You have,” he murmured. “You’ve been avoiding me. Was it the kiss?” he asked, his hands moving to pin your wrists together. “Did it have some sort of effect on--”

Jisung stopped, his words catching as he caught the change of your scent. The sudden flood of arousal that filled the cavern.

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping an octave and eyes darkening. “So that does it for you, does it?” he asked, grinning lopsidedly at you, showing his sharp teeth off.

“Being pinned down and unable to move?”

You stared up at him, breathing heavily as heat rushed to your core, a tingling sensation starting to form in your toes. “W-what?” you whispered, your voice much softer than you intended. Jisung’s grin widened. “I think you do. I think you like this,” he continued.

You shook your head but your voice wouldn’t come out. Jisung tilted his head, black eyes boring into yours. “I think you’re lying,” he said, leaning down, his lips inches from yours. “I think you like the idea of being unable to fight back,” he chuckled, nose nuzzling into your cheek.

“Maybe I should teach you a lesson for disappearing on me for three nights. Making me worry about you.” You let out an involuntary whimper, feeling his hips grind against yours. Jisung let out a soft chuckle. “Oh, baby,” Jisung whispered as he ghosted his lips over the skin of your neck up to your ear.

“You really should have stayed away another night.”

You let out a squeal as Jisung pulled back, water splashing as he pulled you with him.

You surfaced, kicking under you to stay afloat as you looked around quickly. You turned back to the rocky ledge, to pull yourself up but as you got about halfway out of the water, Jisung resurfaced, pressing against your back and pinning you against the rocks.

You let out a cry of surprise as he chuckled in your ear, his hands wandering to your wetsuit and your eyes widened as you heard a rip of the fabric. ‘Did he just…’

When Jisung pulled back to admire his handiwork, you realized he’d ripped the entire back of your wetsuit open, completely ignoring the zipper right next to it.

You lowered yourself into the water and turned to look over your shoulder at him, finding half of his face submerged in the water. “What the hell!” you snapped. Jisung darted forward, pinning you against the rock wall. “Sorry, little fish,” he chuckled as his hands were quick to start pulling your wetsuit off, leaving you in just your swimsuit.

“That was my favorite wetsuit,” you pouted as you watched it sink into the depths of the pool. Jisung blocked your view, taking your face in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, leaning in until your lips were inches apart. You stared back at him, unmoving. He hesitated, a slight smirk crossing his features before he finally closed the distance, kissing you.

Your lips parted in a gasp allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth. Your own hands had moved to the rocks, trying to keep yourself from sinking. Jisung pulled back, lips ghosting across your cheek and kissing down the side of your neck.

You felt him nip at the string of your bikini top. “I could easily snap this,” he mused before continuing to kiss along your shoulder. You opened your mouth to retort but he pressed his hips against yours, ripping a moan from your throat instead.

Another roll of his hips and your hands slipped from the rocks. Jisung was quick to grab your wrists, placing your hands on his shoulders. “If you need to hold onto something, hold onto me,” he said, watching your face as he rutted against you again.

Your head was swimming, heat pooling in your lower belly as the shark creature grinded against you, one hand holding onto the rocky ledge while the other moved down to your thigh, holding your hips in place. The rocks in the wall behind you jutted out, pushing into your back but you couldn’t be bothered to care, not when Jisung was breathing heavily into your ear, teasing you with his words.

“You know I could pin you down and have my way with you right now if I wanted to, right?”

You let out another moan as he rutted against you. “What’s stopping you,” you breathed, your voice just audible over the sound of the water lapping against the rocks. Jisung chuckled softly, his breath fanning over your collar and neck. “Because,” he started, slowing his movements.

“I’m waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you.”

One of your hands moved up the back of his neck, tangling in his dark locks. “Then consider this my consent,” you whispered before pulling him into a heated kiss. It only lasted for a few moments before Jisung lifted you up out of the water, placing you on the edge of the rock ledge.

“Don’t move,” he ordered, reaching up and untying one side of your bikini bottoms, letting the material fall before untying the other side and grabbing your hips in his hands. You had no time to ask what he was doing before you felt his tongue rough against your clit.

“Oh shit,” you gasped, eyes fluttering shut, one hand moving to his hair. Jisung ignored your grip on him, merely licking slowly up your slit. “That steak tasted amazing,” he noted, his voice low and gravelly.

“But you taste divine.”

You let out another moan as his lips attached to your clit, teasing, flicking, and sucking on the sensitive nub. You felt the tips of his pointed nails digging slightly into the flesh of your thighs. “Oh shit,” you gasped as he nipped at your clit.

“J-Jisung!” you whined, back arching as he lapped at your clit. “Keep saying my name like that,” he groaned against you. “Sounds so good when you say it like that, baby.”

“I need you pliant,” he murmured, pulling back to look at your slit. “But I don’t wanna hurt you,” he added softly. “Spread your legs for me, cutie,” he instructed. “And keep them spread.”

You did as he asked, spreading your thighs, squeaking out a small yelp when he pushed your knees closer to you. “Hold right here,” he said, patting the backs of your knees. You replaced his hands and groaned as you felt his tongue against your slit.

“Relax for me,” you heard him mutter and you took a deep breath.

You felt the tip of his tongue push into your hole and both of you groaned; you at the intrusion and him at the taste and warmth of your cunt. You felt him ease more of his tongue into your walls and wondered if he’d been hiding the majority of his tongue.

You moaned, walls clenching as his tongue moved in and out of you slowly. “F-fuck. I didn’t know you could do that,” you whined. Jisung hummed against you, sending vibrations against your clit and you gasped out.

Just as quickly, he withdrew his tongue and pulled back. “I think that’s enough,” he said as you propped yourself up, chest heaving. “I’ll just have to take my time easing into you,” he added, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer.

You let out a yelp as your lower half fell into the water. “Turn around,” he growled, grabbing your hips and pushing you into position as you held onto the ledge. Jisung lifted you partially out of the water, holding you in place. “W-what’re you doing?”

“I’m going to fuck you, baby,” he chuckled. You felt something warm and wet grind against you and you let out a moan. “O-okay,” you said as he pressed the head of his cock against your slit. “It’s not too late to tap out,” he joked and you shook your head.

“No,” you retorted. “I want this.”

Jisung hissed, the tip of his cock slipping into you and making you gasp at the intrusion. You hadn’t gotten to see it before he was pushing it into you but it felt huge. You moaned, your walls stretching to accommodate him as he slid in, inch by inch.

“Hold still,” you heard him whisper as he pinned you against the ledge. “What--FUCK!”

You cursed, gasping as he thrust forward, sheathing his entire length inside you with one motion.

“Oh fuck,” you groaned, knees bumping into the rock wall as Jisung bottomed out. “Hah, so t-tight,” you heard him grunt. “M’gonna fuck you so good,” he chuckled, resting his forearm over your back. “Now just stay still, baby,” he continued, slowly pulling back and snapping his hips forward, making you gasp.

“Fuck you feel good. I should have done this a lot sooner,” he mused, setting a steady pace, thrusting into you from behind. “J-Jisung,” you whimpered. You felt his breath as he leaned in close to your ear. “This was more fun when you fought back,” he panted. “So fight me.”

You tried to push yourself up but he just forced you back down. “Come on, baby,” he cooed. “You can do better than that. Beg me to stop,” he laughed, slamming into you, making you see stars with each thrust. “S-stop,” you stammered weakly.

Jisung laughed again, his breath hot and heavy against the back of your neck. “Is that the best you’ve got?” he asked. “Come on, pet,” he continued, grunting with effort. “Really beg me.”

S-stop, please,” you whimpered, finding a little more strength in your voice. You didn’t want him to stop though. Not when it felt so good. “That’s it,” Jisung groaned. “Keep it going. Beg me not to fuck you. Tell me you want me to let you go. Plead with me,” he growled.

You gasped as he gave you a hard thrust, stealing the words from your tongue and the breath from your lungs. “J-Jisung. Stop. This is wr-wrong. P-please s-uh-stop,” you moaned into the rocky surface. You noticed how your whines and pleas only spurred him on.

You tried again to push yourself up only for him to grab both of your wrists, forcing you back down against the rocks, pinning your arms behind your back with one hand. “You really think you can fight me off?” he scoffed, thrusts increasing in speed.

“You think you’re strong enough?”

You shook your head, moans slipping from your lips as your mind started to go blank. “That’s right, little fish,” he smirked. “You’re powerless against me. You can’t do anything. You’re completely at my mercy. This entire time you think you’ve been in control?”

He chuckled darkly. “You haven’t been in control of shit. I let you think you had the power here. You’re out of your depth, Y/N. You have no idea what you’re up against,” he growled, slowing his thrusts to deep rolls, making your eyes roll back and a low moan escape the back of your throat.

“I let you leave every night but you always come back to me,” he continued. “Why do you think that is?” he asked softly, continuing to grind against you, his cock lodged deep in your walls. “Because you’re mine,” he growled. “You’ve been mine from the moment you entered this cave and you’ll be mine when you leave ‘cause no matter how many times you leave after this…” he trailed off, licking against your pulse point.

“You’ll always come back to me.”

You let out a mix between a scream and a moan as you felt his sharp teeth pierce your skin. ‘He just bit you. You’re gonna bleed out, you idiot!’

Despite the sharp stinging pain, the bite was more superficial with only minimal bleeding. It was meant to scar you. To mark you. You were now marked as his.

Upon sinking his teeth into your skin, Jisung felt your walls contract around his cock and he groaned, his thrusts regaining the same relentless pace from before, slamming into you repeatedly, savoring your cries of both pleasure and pain from the bite. It would heal. It wasn’t that deep anyway.

Your walls tightened, restricting his movement as he felt you cum and he coaxed you through it, whispering words of encouragement in your ear as you came down from your high. “That’s it, baby,” he whispered. “Such a good girl, taking my cock so well.”

You moaned in response as he kept going. “It’s my turn, little one,” he murmured. “Shhh, baby. It’s okay. Just let go. I’ve got you,” he added, keeping a firm hold on your wrists. “Gonna fill this cute little pussy with my cum and make you mine.”

He readjusted your hips so the rock wasn’t digging into your hips before chasing his own. The sound of skin on skin echoed around the small cavern, bouncing off the rock walls, mixing with your moans until Jisung finally let out a slew of curses, strung between moans as he came, burying his cock deep inside you and filling your cunt with his seed.

He knew it wouldn’t take. You were human after all. He couldn’t actually breed with you but damn did it feel good to pretend for a few minutes as he came down from his own orgasm, muttering into your ear about how you were bound to him forever and how cute you’d look carrying his child.

When the moment passed, Jisung inspected the bite wound to your shoulder, clicking his tongue. “I could have bitten harder,” he murmured as he released your arms. “It might not show once it heals,” he added as you pushed yourself up. “If it doesn’t show up,” you said, your voice hoarse.

“I guess you’ll just have to try again.”

Jisung smiled as you looked over your shoulder at him. “How about tomorrow?” he asked, eyes sparkling in the moonlight. You rolled your eyes. “I meant after it heals, you perverted sex fiend!”

Jisung pouted as you pushed him away, his cock slipping out of you and retracting back into his body as you shakily pulled yourself up onto the rock ledge. “But,” he started as you grabbed your bikini bottoms and turned to face him. “No buts,” you retorted. “Let me heal first, otherwise you might kill me.”

Jisung watched as you put your swimsuit back on, retying the strings. He watched as you moved back to sit on the edge, dipping your legs into the water before moving to push your thighs apart and slot between them, resting his arms on the tops of your thighs.

He smiled a toothy grin when you looked down, meeting his gaze before he spoke.

“So, the day after tomorrow?”

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

#cultofdionysusnet #mfu-net #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #han jisung scenarios #han jisung imagines #han jisung fanfiction #han jisung fanfic #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #kwanisms kinktober 2023

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etz-ashashiyot · 8 months ago

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In light of these* previous posts, I am rerunning these polls. Please vote however they apply to you, and spread them for reach even if they don't apply to you. Thanks!!

(*Context: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5])

ONLY answer this if you are Jewish and self-identify as an Anti-Zionist! By which I mean: you voluntarily describe yourself as an Anti-Zionist. Other people describing your views that way is not sufficient. Being pressured into labeling yourself that way for reasons unrelated to your beliefs is not sufficient. You MUST actively choose to label yourself as an Anti-Zionist. If you are a lukewarm Anti-Zionist but are fine with it under certain conditions, that's a personal judgment call. Feel free to answer this poll, the non-/post-Zionist/other poll, or both (if it changes).

If you click that button, you are saying under oath that YOU🫵 are a Jewish Anti-Zionist 🙂

Please answer your IDEAL solution, not necessarily what you think would be the most likely or most practical, but your idealized outcome. I intend to reblog each of these with a second poll that asks what your preferred pragmatic solution would be after posting.

Everyone please be respectful of the folks replying to this poll, as with the others. There are lots of other places to debate people or discourse, but this post is not one of them. My goal here is simply to gather information and others' perspectives, not to argue or deconstruct them.

#jumblr #i/p #jewish antizionism #jews for palestine #jewblr

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yet-another-heathen · 3 months ago

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I saw ur really informative post on conditioning and said with whumpers uts about using pain again and again

Any advice about caretakers deconditioning?

[ Referring to this post. ]

The first and most important thing is that the caretaker cannot decondition the whumpee. It's not possible. That progress is entirely internal, and requires a massive amount of introspection, self-motivation, and practice from the whumpee themself. No one else can do it for them.

But what the caretaker can do is be there for them while the whumpee fights toward their own recovery. They can be the stability that whumpee needs in order to work through these massive problems on their own.

Deconditioning is awful. It involves repeated failure, over and over and over, working toward lessening the response. And it is incredibly frustrating, painful, heartbreaking, and at times it feels completely hopeless.

Progress is so non-linear that they can spend months improving and then backslide nearly back to the beginning if they get caught off guard. At times it'll feel like they're stuck at the same point and can't get any further. Like a future where they will be free of it may simply not exist.

At many points, your whumpee is going to feel heartbroken. They're going to spiral into, "Why can't I do this? Why can't I make it stop?" and, "I thought I was past this." and, "Will I ever be able to undo what whumper made me?"

A good caretaker can be there to comfort them when things go wrong. They can hold them while they cry. They can listen to them when they go into a sobbing, breathless rant about how much this hurts. They can make sure that whumpee knows they have someone who doesn't think of them as broken or lesser because of what they've gone through.

Depending on if whumpee feels it would help, they might help them brainstorm a reward system. If there's a situation where they're around other people and the caretaker spots the trigger coming, they can try to redirect conversation away from it before it hits. Preferably without anyone realizing they're doing it for whumpee's sake. When whumpee has just been triggered and wants nothing more than to be alone, the caretaker can make sure their boundaries are respected. To make sure they have somewhere safe to go.

Even more importantly, they can also help by highlighting the moments of whumpee's progress. Pointing out their successes, no matter how small. Pointing out how far they've come. Reminding them that the ups and downs are supposed to happen. That trauma recovery is a rollercoaster, not a straight line.

As a whumpee in that state, it's very easy to feel like they're making no progress. That even when they succeed, the tiny bits of success are hollow, because 'they shouldn't be like this in the first place'. Have your caretaker help them see their own victories. Help them actually see the healing as it grows.

A realistically conditioned whumpee does not need someone to fix them. They need someone to be there for them while they save themselves.

---

This was such a good ask, thank you for sending it my way!

#ask Wick #conditioned whumpee #bbu whump #box boy universe #box boy whump #whump recovery #caretaker #pet whump #whump writing #writing advice #whump reference #writing reference #captive whumpee #rescued whumpee

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 3 months ago

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Rating Non-Zelink and Non-BotW Link Ships in Legend of Zelda Games because they don't get enough love

Malink; Malon x Link: Adorable and somewhat canon depending on who you think TP Link's parents are and what timeline shenanigans you subscribe to. Link's first non-Kokiri friend turning into his soulmate is cute and finding peace after the craziness of OoT is beautiful. Also, Malon is cute as a button. 11/10, love you, funky Horsegirl.

Ilia x Link: Pretty good but feels too much like a reskin of Malink to be really fun. People give Ilia grief for freaking out about Epona but it really isn't fucking deserved. Girl get's done dirty by the narrative and the fandom and she deserves better. Also, memory loss and falling in love all over again is absolute peak. 9/10, you deserve better, baby.

Marin x Link: A child's first taste of tragic ending and hot girls being doomed by the narrative. Very child friendly "Calypso and Odysseus" feel to this one. Still, Marin is absolutely adorable and the idea of falling in love with a literal dream is heartbreaking. 10/10, would cry like a little kid again.

Link x Ruto: Okay, hear me out, this one isn't terrible. Ruto's chld-like crush on the guy who saved her life is pretty cute and being a haughty teenager about it is pretty funny. Also, she understands they can't be together, and sends him off with her love and good wishes, which is surprisingly mature of her. I'm just saying, Ruto isn't the weirdo people make her out to be. 7/10, it still feels like entrapment

Midlink; Midna x Link: TOP TIER! BEST OF THE BEST! ABSOLUTE PEAK ROMANCE! Romeo and Juliet style star-crossed lovers from literal opposing sides of reality. Allies of convenience to friends to soulmates?! PEAK! Adorable evil goblin design for most of the game and then complete knockout reveal at the end?! ROMANCE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE?! PEAK, I TELL YOU! PEAK! (Also I headcannon that because Midna looks like a Hylian she's considered ugly by Twili standards so Link finding her beautiful warms her heart). 20/10, best ship, best girl, best love story.

Ganlink; Ganondorf x Link: Objectively the funniest Legend of Zelda ship in existence and I will take no arguments on that. Destined enemies giving the middle finger to fate and falling in love instead? Amazing. Ganondorf hates every minute of it but he's also the happiest he's ever been with this stupid twink and he hates that too. 10/10, something something the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Link x Zant: Objectively hilarious as Link is seducing his enemies into submission yet again, like any self-respecting bard, but this one feels a little too Batman x Joker like for my liking. I really ship Zant x Therapy but Midna watching her rival give up his conquering ambitions for a twink is objectively hilarious. 8/10, not great but not bad.

Got others you want me to rate? Let me know! Or better yet, rate them yourself and I'll tell you if I agree or not.

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yandereunsolved · 2 months ago

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Yandere Castiel taking care of his traumatized darling—my darling, oh, my darling. I'll keep you safe as the day is long.

cw(s): yandere themes, misuse of the term boundaries and overstepping them, non-descriptive gore and murder, mentions of anxiety/panic attacks, trauma, and self-harm

🪽 He has known about the scars left on your soul far longer than you have even known his name. They are sacred to him, a reminder of the protection you need. The protection he casts over you. His wings are not merely his, but yours. He would allow them to be torn to shreds for the rest of eternity if it meant keeping you safe.

Your soul, the thing of most import that is intangible to humans but seen as precious to all other creatures. It is always watched over by his eyes. Even in the most dire moments, he chooses you above all else. God, his brothers and sisters, even the Winchesters pale in comparison to you. You are his freedom.

Freedom is a length of rope in his eyes. He will never allow you to hang yourself with it.

🪽 He tames his fervid nature in favor of an affable, benevolent one. The sin consuming him is washed away in your presence. In those moments, he is back to what he once was: a pure, untaintable guardian. A gentle presence just within your reach if you so choose to delight him with your touch.

Yandere Castiel may lack knowledge on the concept of boundaries, but they quickly learn about them through your reaction to them. He feels your soul flare in a protective manner. You sink away from him and shut down. That is the opposite reaction he wishes to get from you.

Dictionary... a dictionary...

He had to look through it to find the word.

( Boundaries • The border or limit so indicated. )

🪽 He has to learn to communicate with you about boundaries. That word, now that word is lost on him. Eons he has been an angel, and this type of communication has never been a priority. Boundaries has never been a word that existed up in heaven. You got an order, and you followed it. He never thought, even after rebelling, that he got to choose such things.

He seemingly moved from one master to another. He mindlessly followed his father's orders, then the Winchesters, then his own selfish desires. He never consciously chose; his hand was always forced.

At least he is able to communicate using his true voice. You are one of the few that aren't pushed to the brink of death by his voice.

He is more frightened of these conversations than you are. He always gives you the space to say what you need. He'll try to coax it out of you, but he is always able to read your mind if that doesn't work. He is aware that reading your mind without your consent is breaking one of your boundaries—but you don't know! And he is just trying to help you.

🪽 'Personal space' is the boundary he likes the least. It is of great import that he respects that boundary, but it just feels impossible! He wants to be near you all of the time, watch you, and guard you. When you want more space from him, it hurts. His wings droop, but he understands. He will stand on the other side of the room or leave if you really need him to.

Humans need their space.

That is one of the first things they learned when interacting with them.

Their favorite boundaries of yours are any where they are able to help you with their angelic abilities. Whether that be helping to stimulate you properly through toning down sounds and sights or getting to mercilessly torture people who hurt you behind your back. It gives him a solitary purpose. He is able to help you on your healing journey.

He is a good angel. He's your good angel!

🪽 Castiel also comes to understand anxiety. It's that thing he feels everytime—no, just all the time, when something pertains to you.

He sees how it creeps into your mind and causes your soul to nearly deplete into embers. He has been the one who has had to hold you during panic attacks. He has had to calm you when something triggers you. Oh, the wrath he has had to hold back to whatever has hurt you in such a way. Castiel, your Cas, will always take care of you.

They soothe you through their grace and willingness to be with you.

One of his wings is always guiding you gingerly, as long as you have consented.

Your sins are all erased under his guise.

You are blameless in his eyes. A saint.

Do not fear people nor ancient entities.

For you are blessed by one.

🪽 He does not want any voices to mislead you from his safety. Please, do not harm yourself. He loves you far too much. Any scar of yours is kissed by his doting lips, as long as you consent, and is healed by his grace. They should not be shameful but signs of pride. You have survived things many others haven't. While angels on high mourn their loss, he praises your survival.

He keeps all of your safety items near when you are upset. He is easily able to conjure up anything you may need at a moments notice. He loves decorating you with pretty band-aids, stickers, and little doodles—as long as you allow it. Cas is incredibly good at distractions, even if he is a bit awkward with the more risqué ones.

Feel free to let your anger out on him. You cannot do any noticeable damage to him. Of course, if you somehow got ahold of an angel blade, they would have to disarm you. Other than that? Feel free to do anything.

Just don't turn that turmoil inward. They won't allow it.

🪽 They want you safe and healthy. Healing isn't linear, as they have learned. He loves you even more for it. In a way, you are able to heal them. They are no longer this internal, fractured being. They are a guardian once again. They are a lover. They are yours.

"Iubebit enim angelis suis de te custodire te omnibus modis vestris." Ille, si modo bonus est, patrem suum fecit.₁

1 | "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." The one, if only good, point his father has made. |

#supernatural #spn #supernatural x reader #spn x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere supernatural #yandere supernatural x reader #yandere spn #castiel #spn castiel #castiel x reader #yandere castiel #yandere castiel x reader #yandere angel #castiel novak #yandere castiel novak

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sepublic · 2 months ago

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I find it interesting that even in the epilogue, four years after Camila has had time to be more acquainted with the Boiling Isles under non-threatening circumstances, she’s still creeped out by it. And this is fine! The narrative isn’t condemning her for it. It’s not demanding that she enjoy these things like Luz does; It’s just asking for her to respect its existence, and to support Luz’s interest in it and love her too.

In For the Future, we see Camila horrified by what she encounters in the Boiling Isles; But she also spends the whole episode pushing through it anyway for Luz’s sake, being there for her as much as she can. Because she knows these are just feelings and nothing more, and she’s choosing to be kind in spite of them.

By contrast, in this same episode we find out Belos does feel empathy and guilt towards his brother and nephew, he wasn’t purely 100% only interested in what they could do for him; And yet, he’s still just as cruel and violent towards them. He’s still cruel and violent towards witches and demons, sometimes using the ‘tragedy’ of Caleb as a justification. Hell, he even resents the ghosts for making him feel guilty, telling them to “Shut up.”

Isn’t that fascinating? Disgust is portrayed as a morally neutral thing. It’s not an indictator of morality, it doesn’t mean something is bad… But it doesn’t mean the person who feels it is bad, either, people don’t consider that enough. It’s just a gut reaction. Sometimes people have internalized biases they need to work through, but other times, it’s pretty harmless as long as they’re self-aware and don’t do anything bad over it; This even applies to the process of unlearning the aforementioned biases.

Likewise, empathy and guilt don’t actually, necessarily make you a good person. The example with Belos shows how some people will actually be crueler because of empathy, because they resent people for being upset, and thus making them feel upset because they naturally empathize. Hence those who get angry at people in pain and need for “ruining their vibe,” because now they feel bad too.

There’s a juxtaposition in how Camila seems genuinely more scared and creeped out by the isles on a visceral level than Belos, and yet Camila has the common sense to still respect and fight for its existence; Whereas Belos chooses to make a mountain out of a molehill because it’s not just hatred, it’s pride. It all boils down to his ego at the end of the day. In many ways, other characters struggle with dilemmas more difficult than Belos’, yet still do better than he ever has.

This all plays into my thesis that TOH is arguing your feelings are secondary to your actions, and that the latter is what decides whether you’re a “good” person or not. In the end, someone who’s had a good life and was a dick for selfish reasons, only to choose to be better, is more sympathetic and morally superior than someone who suffered a million unfair grievances, and proceeded to dole out a million unfair grievances, with no sign of stopping; Especially from an IRL perspective, and I think our IRL feelings sometimes influence how we engage with media, and vice-versa.

That’s why the finale –and the show as a whole– emphasizes choices, over inherent, instinctual feelings. A decent chunk of Camila’s arc could be summarized by the word Squick; In the sense that it’s meant to describe things that one feels personal disgust and discomfort towards, but otherwise has no moral condemnation or problem with; It’s just a Me thing, is the point of Squick. Camila is like that sex-repulsed ace who nevertheless supports kink at Pride.

That gets me to how my ruminations were prompted by a similar observation; How some people lump sex-repulsed aces in with the oppressive Puritans who hate sex in anything, but that’s not true at all. Obviously there’s the rare Exception, but as a whole, sex-repulsed aces are on the side of other queers who ARE sexual and are demanding to let these things be normalized; It’s not for them, but they have no moral condemnation and will fight for it in solidarity anyway, especially since both are hated by the system regardless. Sound familiar?

#The Owl House #Camila Noceda #Meta #emperor belos #philip wittebane

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chilkookiepal · 5 months ago

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Greedy

Pt.1

Pairing - lowkey yandere Kim Taehyung x workaholic!Reader Kind of co-workers au Genres- yandere, comfort, angst, smut if you hold your breath

Summary ; co-worker Taehyung is the only person who makes reader feel safe in the office, he is the perfect gentleman that she falls in love with but what happens when the very trust you put in him is the one way ticket he will use to test your morals to their uncomfortable limits

note, miss gurl is terrible with summaries like I just end up spilling the entire tea whenever I try to invest into a summary 💀

Anyways This is going to be a mini series ,I pulled this one out of my 1am adrenaline and It feels like a personal attack Chile! Here's part one , I have no clue about the amount of chapters we're going to have

Word count: 900+

+. +. +.

MINORS!!GET OUTTA HERE OR IM CALLING YOUR MUM

he was daring…or unhinged who cares when the difference was all in the subtle shift in his set of behaviors towards you

the subtle way in which his dark eyes did not shy away from raking over every inch of you from head to toe

a once-over so subtle yet so affective on all parts of your being

it was as if his dark eyes knew stuff about you you had never shared with him , like the layer of clothes on your body were non existent in his eyes , only his eyes in this room full of people

in this huge office where his girlfriend just happens to be the chippery conversationalist eager to form a friendship with you on regular work days

Hana ,she was the office crush

desired by half if not all men in the work building, she was hot , confident,outgoing ,friendly and she knew how to dress for the assets granted by her bloodline

hell if you were a guy you'd line up as well

she was annoyingly perfect and new to your department ,endorsed by THE Kim Taehyung himself after a full year of running a different department brunch of the company , that is where the two met and formed a relationship.

YOU on the other hand had been acquainted with Taehyung the year before his initial transfer , you were an intern that year…he was your senior at work but on a dunken night you learned that you weren't so far apart in age

back then he was just your wonderful senior , he was always hot but you were never one to swoon over people who had no interest in you

so when did energies take this confusing twist?

you're not exactly sure but you can make out a vivid memory of when Taehyung took interest in the selfies you uploaded on your social media casually recommending you for image related tasks in boardroom meetings , you were pretty popular and adored around the office yourself

you were good at your job and rarely took off days , some would say you were a goodie two shoes and while you were beautiful your ability to handle hard tasks at work over shadowed your feminine value in the office .

you didn't really know Tae out of his suit and ties while seemed to know a moderate enough about you not in a creepy manner ,he was attentive in a respectful manner that a friendly work senior would

the two of you felt far from friends hence you knew next to nothing about him

many of your male coworkers would try to make you feel less than or just attempt to reduce you to a bimbo in your early days but you had him , he was respectful and he spoke in your advocacy when it was necessary

you never felt ridiculed by him and maybe you began to like him ,

you were pretty obvious , warmed by his gentle gaze and the way he gave you all his attention , at other times you could swear you thought he felt the same and you would idiotically turn down guys to wait for him

for unspoken soft gazes sent your way by Taehyung

you're embarrassed for your pathetic self when you forget to transfer a file that needed to be reviewed over night in the office and have to go back after making it pretty close to home

in your sweaty glory with your blouse stuck to your skin and your heart hammering in your ears you want to believe that your eyes are on a different level of tripping when you walk past the conference room where a nest of dark long hair hides the face of the woman being pleasured into moonlight and you are ready to tiptoe away when something about the man with his face hidden in the crook of her neck keeps you rooted

and if you felt sick the next set of moments make you want to vomit projectile

the man raises his head eyebrows scrunched in concentration or pleasure…,damned dark eyes heavy with lone hairs from his usually gelled back jet black hair sticking to his forehead in a dangerous way that you did not need to know of , it's when he stares between himself and the woman in front of him that his lips curl in a heart wrenching smirk inflicting a mortal wound as his eyes meet yours that are getting teary for reasons unknown to you yourself .

….

to be continued.

#yandere bts #yandere taehyung #bts v #taehyung #bts fanfic #Yann #yandere x reader #new fic #kpop yandere #Chilkookiepal #yandere jungkook #yandere namjoon #yandere writing #yandere concept

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ineedhaikyu · 1 year ago

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Chapter One

Summary: How does Asahi find himself in these situations? He wasn’t the tough and scary guy everyone made him out to be. Why can’t someone just give him a chance? That’s what he thought until he met her…

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: So much FLUFF! Dealing with self-doubt and anxiety. I didn’t write Atsumu’s slang dialogue but maybe I’ll edit in the future.

A/N: My contribution to Asahi x Reader content. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST BOY!! GIF credit to @akaashikoutarou

Today is the day. January 5th. Everyone’s hard work and determination will be put to the test on this day. A day where volleyball teams from all over Japan, the best from each prefecture, will meet with one another and have a chance to battle on the orange court.

Today marks Day One in the All Japan High School Volleyball Championship. Otherwise known as the Spring Tournament.

The victor of each battle will be one step closer to reaching the summit, a place that is only reserved for one winning team.

But until then, each team must go through the wringer and the emotional ties that come when playing the best of the best. Not only are the team members fighting for themselves to place a respectable standing in the tournament, they are also carrying the weight of their school’s pride and honor on their shoulders. The pressure that the Spring Tournament has always been great, but it’s even greater for those teams who are participating for the first time.

Teams such as the Karasuno High School Volleyball team.

A twelve member volleyball team from the Miyagi prefecture. For the past few years, Karasuno has fallen from their powerhouse status, but it seems that has all changed. Because now, here they are competing in the Spring Tournament for the first time in years.

Their methods of offense and defense were amazing to watch. It was almost too beautiful to describe but then again the concept is all the same: just keep the ball in play.

“(Y/N)-san!”

The third-year manager tore her gaze away from the orange court to meet with the familiar brown eyes of Miya Atsumu, the second-year setter of their volleyball team.

“Hey Atsumu.” She greeted the popular setter with a smile before scanning the area around them. “Where’s Osamu?”

“That scrub is probably stuffing his face.” He huffed as he stood next to her. His eyes peered down at the active court. “What are you even doing here?”

(Y/N) followed his gaze and smiled. “Just want to check out the competition. I’m curious as to who our next opponent will be.”

“Who’s playing?”

“Tsubakihara Academy and Karasuno High.”

Atsumu furrowed his brow at the mention of the latter school. He’s sure that Goody-Two Shoes setter came from there.

“Are they any good?”

He waited for her answer but when he didn’t receive one, the twin looked at her. Usually the older girl always had an answer for his questions, however silly the questions were. It was something Atsumu liked about (Y/N). No matter what silly antics he, his twin, and the rest of the volleyball team partook in, (Y/N) was always there to keep them in check. It was something Aran and Kita, her best friends, valued her for and the coach couldn’t agree more.

Of course, there were times she played along with their shenanigans. It was why she got along so well with everyone on the team. As a manager, the girl knew there were times to be serious but also to just enjoy the moments with the best team she ever had. Even the annoying moments of Suna and the Miya twins prying into her non-existent love life. Take the conversation she had with them from last week.

Flashback

“You rejected another guy, (Y/N)-senpai.” Osamu commented as he ate his lunch. “How many is that now?”

His twin answered for her. “I’m pretty sure that makes him Unlucky Schmuck #5. But that guy didn’t even have a chance.”

“Oh?” (Y/N) stopped taking her notes and decided to indulge in the conversation. “And why’s that? Kenji’s a nice guy.”

“Easy because he’s boring. You don’t want to date a boring guy, do you?”

“The most interesting thing about him is that he’s on the basketball team.” Osamu piped in, reaching over the table to get some of her chips. “He’s not even on the starting line up.”

“His last post was just a picture of the ocean.” Suna piped in, his eyes showed so much disinterest in Unlucky Schmuck #5’s profile account. He showed his phone to her. “See?”

“So? That doesn’t mean he’s boring. Besides, I like the ocean. That’s why I liked his post.”

Suna rolled his eyes and turned off his phone. He leaned all his weight over (Y/N)’s shoulder. “That’s because you’re nice.”

“Sometimes too nice.” She grumbled as she jerked her shoulder so Suna could get off her and then slap the gray haired twin’s hand away from her chips. She looked back at Atsumu and said, “But I’m still waiting for the right guy to come around.”

The setter grinned. “Then quit waiting because I’m right here.”

Osamu and Suna scoffed, which irked Atsumu. “Aren’t you Unlucky Schmuck #1?”

“Am not!”

“Got the video on my phone if you want to relive it again.” Suna smirked as he taunted Atsumu with a wave of his phone. The video was pure gold. No way was he going to delete it. He needed all the memories, especially embarrassing moments of the Miya twins.

“Well, I’m glad you three are so interested in my love life but I already have my hands full dealing with you guys. I don’t need a jealous boyfriend on top of your crazy fangirls. My anxiety would not be able to handle it. Besides, nationals are literally next week. ”

The twins pouted in unison when the manager mentioned their fangirls.

“Then get a guy who’ll understand. I’m sure there’s someone-”

“I’m right here-!” Atsumu exclaimed but was cut short when his twin hit the back of his head and at the same time Suna kicked his foot. “Quit abusing me!”

Suna ignored him and continued on. “Whoever this schmuck is, he’s going to be the luckiest guy in Japan.”

“He better be good at volleyball.” Atsumu grumbled, his head on the table. “That’s all I’m asking.”

Osamu joined his twin’s line of thinking. “Preferably from a powerhouse. The guy can’t be from a weak team. And cook some good food.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at the Miya twins. Of course, they would say something like that. She looked back at Suna and asked, “Do you have a requirement for my future significant other?”

Suna thought for a moment before answering her question. “As long as he cares for you.”

“Thanks Suna.”

“But the moment he hurts you,” Atsumu began.

“He has to deal with everyone on the team.” Osamu finished his brother’s sentence.

(Y/N) grinned at their protectiveness. “Thanks Unlucky Schmuck #1 and #2.”

“Hey!”/ “Don’t call me that!” The twins exclaimed in unison causing the middle blocker and manager to laugh once more.

End of Flashback

“Earth to (L/N) (Y/N)! Can you hear me, manager? This is future champion setter, Atsumu, speaking! Talk to me!”

(Y/N) blinked and tore her eyes away from the orange court. “Huh? What did you say?”

Atsumu narrowed his eyes and leaned close to (Y/N)’s face, causing the girl’s face to heat up. She quickly stepped back and looked away from the twin’s observant gaze.

“What?” She asked him.

“Who were you looking at?”

“No one in particular. Just Karasuno's team in general.”

She answered way too quickly and they both knew it. Atsumu grinned at his senpai’s poor attempt to lie. “Someone caught your eye?”

“Shouldn’t you be practicing your sets?”

“Oh no, don’t you avoid my question, (Y/N). Besides, my sets are perfect.” He turned his focus on the volleyball players that were still competing below. “Who’s the guy? Better not be that Goody-Two Shoes.”

(Y/N) furrowed her brow. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Karasuno’s #9. Kageyama Tobio.”

She looked at the roster and found the person Atsumu was talking about. She then looked back at the match that was still playing.

“Wait a minute. Is this the same Goody-Two Shoes that you met at the National training camp?”

Atsumu huffed and nodded. His eyes narrowed at the impressive set Tobio just did. “Yeah, that’s him alright. Piece of work that guy. Always setting the ball exactly how the spiker wants it. Such a Goody-Two Shoes.”

“Oh my god, Atsumu. He’s just a first year student. Give him a break.” She paused for a moment before she asked, “Did you actually call him a Goody-Two Shoes?

The Inarizaki setter was just about to answer when he saw the familiar glare on his manager’s face. “Of course not.”

“You’re such a liar.” She scolded him as she flicked his forehead. “You always have to psych someone out and cause trouble.”

“Whatever! It’s not like I hurt his feelings. I was just telling him the truth. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

Just as she was about to reply, there was the familiar sound of a volleyball being slammed to the ground. Soon after, the announcer’s voice echoed throughout the stadium. “And Karasuno’s ace, Azumane Asahi, just did a flawless service ace!”

(Y/N)’s eyes searched for the mentioned ace. #3. The third-year wing spiker. A guy with long brown hair styled in a bun. He looked older than the rest of the team with his tall and strong build and with the service ace earlier, Azumane has proven himself that he’s the ace of the team.

He looked intimidating, just like how Aran would be when he was on a roll. But for some reason, Karasuno’s ace, didn’t scare her.

‘It’s his smile. He has a beautiful smile.’ (Y/N) thought as she watched the ace high-fived his teammates. ‘It looks like he’s enjoying himself… Having the time of his life.’

The pair of students watched the match until it reached its conclusion with Karasuno winning the second set. Which means they’ll advance to the second round where they’ll face their own team. Tomorrow’s match: Inarizaki vs Karasuno. It will be an interesting match that would guarantee to excite the crowd.

“Well, at least we know who we’re going to beat tomorrow.” Atsumu’s eyes shimmered in excitement, knowing tomorrow’s match will be a battle between setters. He couldn’t wait to prove to everyone who the better setter was. “Come on, (Y/N), let’s get out of here. The team is probably waiting for us to go out for lunch.”

“Sure.”

As Atsumu led the way, (Y/N) looked over her shoulder where her eyes landed on the members of Karasuno’s volleyball team cheering for joy. The ace’s smile was infectious as she felt her own lips smile as well.

“Hey, Atsumu. You go ahead. I want to buy another T-shirt while I’m here. I’ll catch a bus to the hotel.”

“You sure? I can wait-” Atsumu’s stomach decided it was the perfect moment to announce its hunger out loud.

(Y/N) laughed as the setter tried to cease his stomach’s rumbling. “Just go, ‘Tsumu. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Fine! But hurry, will you? You know how ‘Samu gets when he’s hungry.”

The two parted ways. It always surprised her how large the crowd gets during intermission. She had to dodge and weave to avoid the hurdle of students carrying band instruments. She was successful and luckily the T-shirt stand was right there. There were so many options to consider and she was just about to make a selection when there was a sudden loud CRASH.

The noise caused her to stiffen in fright, she looked behind her to find someone had dropped a pair of cymbals.

“Can someone pick those up?” A girl asked her bandmates.

“I got them.” A bright-eyed boy volunteered.

(Y/N) remembered to breathe to calm her nerves as she gave the worker of the T-shirt stand a wobbly smile. “Can I have-”

“Hey, you! Look out!”

While the boy meant to be helpful, everything went downhill from there. When the boy bent down to pick up the cymbals, he accidentally bumped the nearby bass drum causing it to fall out of its little wagon. The large drum began to roll away, causing the crowd to panic.

(Y/N) looked behind her and saw that the drum was heading right towards her. She was just about to move when she felt a warm hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the way. She watched as two guys her age, one with dark hair and the other with silver hair, stopped the drum from crashing into the T-shirt stand.

“A-Are you okay, miss?” A male’s voice, deep with concern, asked her. “Are you hurt?”

“Y-Yeah. Thanks for that-” (Y/N)’s ability to talk disappeared when she saw the face of her hero. It was Karasuno’s ace, Azumane Asahi.

And he looked even more handsome up close. She had to step back - not because she was scared of him but because she could feel her heart going into overdrive being so close to the guy she was beginning to have a crush on.

“Miss?”

‘He’s talking to you, dummy! Talk back!’

“Oh, um, yeah! Thanks again.” (Y/N) gave him a smile. “You’re Azumane, right? From Karasuno? I just watched your match. You were amazing, especially with that service ace.”

Asahi’s POV

A girl was talking to him.

A pretty girl. Willingly talking. To him.

It was enough to cause his brain to short circuit. He waited for the girl to come to her senses and realize that she was supposed to be scared of him, like how everyone else he came across. But to his surprise, the pretty girl was still talking to him. She didn’t have an ounce of fear in her eyes and the gentle smile she gave him made him feel better about himself. And to make matters even better, she was giving him compliments.

And he wasn’t the only one who noticed.

Daichi and Suga came up on either side of him and saw the girl. Asahi didn’t have to look at them to know his friends were giving each other a knowing smile behind his back.

The two introduced themselves to the girl who in turn introduced herself.

“My name is (L/N) (Y/N). I’m from Inarizaki High School in Hyōgo. I came here with my team.”

“You must be really good if you made it to Nationals.” Suga complimented.

She shook her head. “Oh no. I’m just the manager for the volleyball team. I was just telling your ace here how good your team was during your match.”

“We were nervous at first but we managed to get through this round.” Daichi told her. “The other team surprised us with that underhand serve.”

“Really? You manage to adapt to it very well.”

“We couldn’t have done it without this guy!” Suga slapped his hand against Asahi’s back. “Would you believe me if I told you he was single?”

“S-Suga!” He shouted in embarrassment. “W-Why w-would you say that?!”

“Oh come on, Asahi,” Daichi placed his hand on his shoulder. “It’s not like he’s lying. Besides, we're all single too.”

“Y-Yeah but that doesn’t mean she is.”

“Sorry to break the news but I’m single just like you.”

He was shocked to hear that the girl in front of him was actually single. She was breathtaking. Literally. And she was so nice to him.

“My team thinks otherwise. They keep pushing me to have a boyfriend, but I have my hands full managing them and their crazy fangirls. A jealous boyfriend isn’t something I need, you know?”

“Oh, well, that’s reasonable. Maybe you need to find someone who’s understanding,” Suga elbowed his side. “Right, Asahi?”

“U-Um yeah?” What is Suga up to?

“It’s a good thing there are guys, like Asahi, in the world. He’s actually quite sensitive. The only time he feels confident is when he’s on the court.”

“Daichi, what are you doing?” He whispered, the heat from his neck began to crept onto his face. Is his face red? Can she tell?

“Oh, no. Look at the time. Daichi, we need to go.” Suga announced, grabbing the captain’s shoulders and pushing him in a random direction. “We have that meeting with the coach. Right now. Remember?”

“That’s right, Suga.” Daichi gave him a knowing smile, a smile that he knew meant trouble. “Asahi, why don’t you stay here with (L/N)? Make sure she’s safe from any more runaway instruments.”

“It was nice meeting you two! Good luck tomorrow! You’re going to need it. The boys of the Inarizaki team love a good challenge. Don’t disappoint them.”

“Right back at you.”

He watched as his friends walked away, leaving him alone with the girl who caused his anxiety to skyrocket to a whole new level. Not even Kiyoko made him feel like this.

“You're lucky to have such good friends, Azumane.” She told him, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts. “I bet there’s never a dull moment when you three are together.”

He laughed as he rubbed his neck out of habit. “Been that way since we were first years. Though the first and second years bring all the crazy.”

“I know exactly what you mean. The second years on the team love making my life crazy. I love them but sometimes they can be a bit much. Especially during Nationals. Speaking of which, is this your first time?”

“Yeah. And with this being my last year, I guess I should be grateful that I’m even here.”

He was so lost in his own world of self-deprecation that he didn’t notice what she was doing. Not until her fist punched his chest. It wasn’t gentle or strong, somewhere in between, but her touch didn’t surprise him.

It was her eyes that surprised him. They seemed to shine with determination and, for some reason or another, inspire confidence. Even her voice was firm.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Asahi. Your team didn’t get here by chance. You all earned a spot here. You deserve to be here.”

Was it possible for a heart to beat so hard against a person’s ribs? Maybe it’s a medical condition? Because never before had he felt so anxious yet empowered. He wondered if (Y/N) could feel his heart underneath her hand.

“I’m not saying you should just get over yourself because we all have experienced some level of negative emotion in our lives, right? And it’s not as easy as turning a page in a book. Trust me I know. So believe me when I say this, it’s okay to express those feelings. Maybe one day, you’ll find solace in someone.”

There was another feeling. He couldn’t find a label for it, but he could describe it. A warm sensation that bloomed from his chest to every cell in his body the moment she said his name. Not his surname. His actual name. Asahi. His brain felt as though it had melted inside his skull. But by some miracle, he found his voice again.

“You… You think so?” He asked her. “About me being here?”

Why was he asking her this? Just a few minutes ago, she was a stranger. She could just lie to make him feel better but he had a feeling (Y/N) wasn’t like that.

“Are you kidding? I saw it with my own eyes.” She stepped back and mimicked a serve. The smile on her lips complimented the excitement in her eyes. “I’ve seen a lot of players these past three years, all of them possessing some kind of amazing skill. But you’re… Special.”

“Because I’m the ace?”

She smiled up at him. “That’s part of it, but if I’m being honest here I think you’re special even without the title of ace. The match from today proved it to me and I’m sure you’ll see it soon enough.”

“See what?”

“Your true self-worth.”

Normal POV

(Y/N) watched as Asahi mulled over her words and she hoped it gave him some confidence. While she didn’t know him all too well, Asahi looked like a nice enough guy. A bit self-conscious about his abilities, but hopefully she helped him loosen the strangling roots of insecurity that surrounded him.

Why did she care so much in helping him? Well, he did save her. The least she could do is give him some encouragement. She frowned at the thought. No… There must be something else she could do to give her thanks…

Her eyes wandered to the T-shirt stand and an idea was formed.

“Hey Asahi-san, let me buy you a T-shirt. It’s the least I could do since you saved me and all.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. Really. As long as you're okay-”

She shook her head, grabbed his hand, and led him to the T-shirt stand. “Come on, please. You can choose whatever shirt you like. Consider it a gift.”

“G-Gift?” Asahi stammered and she couldn’t help but find his stammering cute. “From you?”

A small chuckle escaped her lips. “Yes from me. It wouldn’t make sense if it was someone else. Let me do this for you.”

Asahi contemplated for a moment before agreeing. The worker of the T-shirt stand, who watched their interaction the whole time, was extremely kind to them as (Y/N) picked her choice as well. Asahi stood awkwardly by, waiting for the transaction to be finished.

“You two would make a cute couple.” The worker said, quiet enough so only she could hear. “You should go for him.”

“You think so?” (Y/N) asked as she discreetly peered over her shoulder to look at the guy who made her feel all warm and fuzzy.

“Believe it or not,” The worker handed her the two bags, hers and Asahi’s, “Before the whole chaos started, you already caught his eye. His two friends tried to get him to talk to you but I guess he was too nervous.”

(Y/N) smiled widely at this. Maybe he liked her too? She hoped so because the feeling was definitely mutual. Only one way to find out...

“Hey, do you have a pen and paper I can use?”

Turns out the two third-years were heading in the same direction. By some cosmic fate, Asahi and his team were staying at the inn right next to the hotel she was staying in with her own team. So during the whole bus ride there, they got to know more about each other.

Asahi learned about (Y/N)’s favorite foods, hobbies, and even her future dream of attending the university in Tokyo. He laughed at the stories she shared about the Inarizaki team members. And (Y/N) was happy to learn more about him. She learned that he was close to the libero of his team, he has taste in fashion, and that his birthday just passed four days ago.

All too soon, they reached their destination. They walked side by side until they reached the point where the path forked, one way led to her hotel while the other led to Asahi’s inn.

She turned to face him and flashed him another smile. “Thanks for your company, Asahi-san. It was really nice getting to know you.”

“Same here, (Y/N)-san.” Asahi replied, his voice no longer nervous around her. “And thanks again for the shirt. I’ll make sure to take care of it. I want it to last for years.”

“It’s no problem. After all, you did save me.” Her fingers rubbed the plastic material of her bag out of nerves. “Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Y-Yeah, see you.”

Asahi’s POV

With her back turned, there was sudden pull in his heart, as if begging for her to stay.

“(Y/N)! Wait!”

He was surprised to hear his voice sound so firm but she brought that feeling out of him. He didn’t want her to leave. Not yet. He enjoyed talking to (Y/N). She was so understanding, kind, and ever so confident. Their time together felt so short but at the same time so long. Those moments with her… He wanted more of those moments.

And the moment his eyes met with her hopeful ones, he knew he had to at least try to ask for her number.

“Yes, Asahi?”

Oh, god. She looked so pretty… He wondered if (Y/N) knew the effect she has on him. The initial confidence he had was beginning to fade, but he steeled his nerves and took a deep breath.

“I was wondering, i-if it’s okay with you, that w-we could-”

“(Y/N)-SENPAI!” A guy with blond hair called out to her.

Right next to him was another guy, identical to the first only with silver hair, yelled, “WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU! I’M STARVING!”

“WHAT ‘SAMU SAID!”

‘They must be the Miya twins.’ He thought.

(Y/N) sighed before answering back, “Give me a minute!” She turned back and offered him a sheepish look. “Sorry about that Asahi. What were you saying?”

Over her shoulder, he saw the Miya twins frowning at him all the while staring daggers in his direction. His confidence, the little bit he had in supply, disappeared into thin air. He stammered out a reply, “Never mind. U-Um… Get a good night’s sleep. T-Take care of yourself.”

(Y/N)’s smile melted. Was that disappointment in her eyes? But she quickly recovered and offered him a bittersweet smile, “Oh, um, thanks Asahi. Good luck tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She turned around and began to make her way to the twins when stopped in her tracks. “Oh, and Asahi-san?”

“Yeah?” He felt his heart hitch up to his throat when they made eye contact once again. Her eyes were a lovely shade of (E/C) filled with warmth and kindness.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself the next few days. Remember what I said. Your team is lucky to have you as their ace. So do your best tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll do great.” She glanced down at the plastic bag containing the shirt she bought for him. “I hope you like the shirt. Consider it a birthday gift from me.”

And with that, the girl he developed to have feelings for walked away, but not before she gave one last smile that made his heart expand three times its size.

“Asahi! You’re back!” Nishinoya’s loud voice echoed throughout the room where Karasuno's team was staying. “Is what Daichi and Suga are saying true? You met a girl?!”

Tanaka joined in his friend’s interrogation. “Yeah, Asahi! Daichi didn’t want to say anything but Suga said you saved her life!”

“Was she pretty?”

“What school does she go to?”

“What was she like?”

“What’s her name?”

“We need details!” The two second-years yelled out in unison. Their eyes shimmering in excitement as they waited for answers.

“Uh, w-well…”

“Alright, that’s enough you two.” Daichi grabbed their shirt collars and pulled them back. “Give Asahi a break. He’s had an eventful day.”

“Yeah, come on, Asahi, let's get you a drink from the vending machine.” Suga offered, his hand already pushing him out of the room.

“I’m not thirsty-”

“Yes, you are.” Suga interrupted. “Our treat. Well, Daichi’s treat since he’s buying.”

The trio of third-years walked downstairs and true to Suga’s words, Daichi bought them a round of their favorite drink.

“Okay, spill! Don’t leave out a single detail. I want to know everything.” Suga pressed, just as Nishinoya and Tanaka were a few minutes ago.

“Suga, calm down.” Daichi told him. “You're worse than Nishinoya and Tanaka combined.”

“Oh, come on, Daichi,” Suga complained. “You want to know just as badly as I do.”

“Ok, fine.” The captain admitted before turning to the ace. “So how did it go with (Y/N)?”

“Details.” Suga reminded him.

So he told his friends everything that happened when they left them alone. How she raised his spirits, believing in his self-worth as an ace. How her words inspired him. How she made him feel nervous one moment and confident the next. How she bought him a new shirt as a gift.

“She sounds awesome for you, Asahi.” Suga complimented. “And if I remember correctly, doesn’t she fit your description of your ideal dream girl?”

“I mean- Yeah. She’s great but-”

Daichi interrupted him. “But what, Asahi? You're both single and you’re definitely interested in each other.”

“How do you know that? I mean she did say she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.”

“She said she didn’t need a jealous boyfriend.” Daichi reminded him. “You’re the most sensitive guy I know.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“This time it is.”

“Seriously, Asahi,” Suga placed his hand on his shoulder. “Why do you think I highlighted your star qualities? You take other people’s feelings into account. She helped build your confidence. And you just told us, how you had a great time talking to her where it sounds like she did too. You’re literally perfect for each other.”

“You think so?” He asked, sounding hopeful. “I do like her. Do you think she likes me?”

“Dude, she wasn’t scared of you, she held down a meaningful conversation with you, and she even bought you a shirt.” Suga listed, his grin growing by the minute. “(Y/N) likes you.”

The small flame of hope in his heart, fueled by his friends’ words, began to burn brightly. He couldn’t wait to see her again. Even if she’ll be on the sidelines on the opposing team’s side, he’ll still be happy.

“So what will you do next, ace?” Daichi asked, crossing his arms. Suga did the same thing as they waited for a response. “Will you let this opportunity slip away?”

“No way.”

His friends grinned, happy to see their glass-hearted friend sound so confident.

It was nightfall. Everyone took a rain check and turned in early, knowing that the next day will be just as hard as the first. The only person not asleep was him. He volunteered to shower last as it gave him the chance to relive the afternoon.

How was he going to talk to her tomorrow? Will she want him to talk to her? His team is playing against hers tomorrow… If they win tomorrow, will she be angry and ignore him?

Shaking his head at the thought, he finished his nightly routine. He decided to wear the shirt (Y/N) bought for him. He grabbed the bag and unfolded the shirt. Carefully as if it was woven by the most precious fabric in the world. In his mind, the T-shirt was a treasure given to him by an angel.

For some reason, he recalled (Y/N)’s words, ‘So believe me when I say this, it’s okay to express those feelings. Maybe one day, you’ll find solace in someone.’

He hoped she believed that to be true because he might have found that someone.

The sound of paper falling caught his attention. At first he thought it was just the discarded T-shirt tags, when his eyes landed on a simple piece of folded notebook paper in the sink. He picked it up, unfolded it, and his heart stopped for the third time? Fourth? Maybe fifth?

In clean and elegant handwriting, the note displayed:

I hope this isn’t weird of me to do this, but I didn’t want to lose this chance. So this is me making the first move because while I try to play it cool, you make me nervous. (Hard to believe, right?) Anyways, this is my number: XXX-XXX-XXXX.

We can just talk if you want. You seem like a cool guy and I still want to get to know you. If you don’t, I’ll understand. Anyways, I’ll cut this note short. Good luck tomorrow! Don’t hold back against Inarizaki.

P.S: I hope your friends were telling the truth earlier.

Normal POV

(Y/N) ditched her cards the moment she heard her phone let out a small ding, signaling a new message.

“Hey, you can’t just do that in the middle of the game!” Atsumu’s voice called out.

She ignored him as she jumped on her bed and grabbed her phone. Her heart was racing as she quickly unlocked her phone, but then it expanded at the sight of the message that read:

Hey, it's Asahi. Is this (Y/N)-san?

Her face broke into a wide smile. Her thumbs danced over the keyboard as she typed out a reply:

Asahi! Yeah, it’s me. I’m glad you found my note.

She watched as the three dots appeared, signaling that Asahi was typing. God, he has no idea the effect he has on her.

It was a nice surprise. A bit of a shock, but it’s very much welcomed. The shirt fits by the way. I think it’s my new favorite.

Another message appeared after the first and she felt every atom in her body seemed to explode after reading it.

By the way, my friends were telling the truth. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

This was the first page of a story where two individuals found solace in one another.

Next: Chapter 2

#haikyu x reader #asahi azumane x reader #asahi x reader #asahi fluff #asahi x you #haikyu fluff #haikyu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n

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