#my reasoning for this is that most of the interesting dynamics are removed by that point

[old-stoneface]

im listening to the audiobook for making money (ive read the book but it was a couple years ago now) and my review is that the antagonists for this book are my least favorite out of all of the city books ive read. they completely lack charm and theyre mostly just horribly annoying

[astronomalyy]

Thinking about the lifespans of Dungeon Meshi elves... The fact that they're completely unnatural alters my brain chemistry, because you can tell just how haphazardly the demon implemented their wish. They live five times the length of tall-men, so they age at a fifth of their rate. It's simple maths and the implications are terrifying. No wonder their birth rate and population are declining - their early development is so slow that at the age of two, they're still unable to stand.

They don't reach adulthood until their eighties. What does the infant mortality look like? How many elves succumb to illness or injury before they're fully mature? It only takes one accident to lose the child you've been raising for decades - and could you bring yourself to care for another? Add to that the implication elf culture has no idea how to process grief... just look at the way the Canaries treat Rin after the death of her parents. They're callous and insensitive and detached - part of that's racism, but there's also an element of pure cold ignorance. They don't even recognise the emotion on her face.

And that's just scratching the surface... does elven memory accommodate their extended lifespan? Once you reach two hundred or so, do the years start blurring together? Kabru mentions that their temporal awareness is remarkably poor.

Two years feel like a few months. Their lives are longer but not fuller. They're older but not wiser than the short-lived races, and most refuse to understand this. Those that do grasp it are interesting - namely Otta, who's ostracised for pursuing half-foot women.

A 30-year old elf is a young child; a 30-year old half-foot has entered middle age. Otta is in the equivalent of her late twenties. She knows that her elven lifespan makes her no more mature than a half-foot - but she also acknowledges that it creates a rift between herself and her partners, and not just in the eyes of society. 'She dumps them as soon as they pass 30', but probably not for the reasons Lycion assumes. For this to be a pattern, decades must have passed - it's possible Otta doesn't want to watch them die as she herself barely ages. No doubt some of her previous lovers have already passed away. In the end, all living 400 years accomplishes is leaving them out of sync with the rest of humanity.

Marcille's perhaps the best example. As a half-elf, she's got 95% of her life ahead and the thought terrifies her. She's going to lose everyone she loves, over and over and over again, and this cycle has barely even started. She runs at a different pace. This context adds so much to her dynamic with Falin in earlier chapters.

Marcille loves her! She's scared for her! Maybe even of her! She's grown attached to a short-lived girl who she met as a kid when Marcille was a teaching assistant! Biologically and developmentally, they're the same age, but chronologically she's twice as old as Falin! Considering what happened to her mother, is history repeating itself? Her feelings towards Falin are tangled and messy and fascinating. They're also more than a little homoerotic, which makes Marcille's infantilization of her friend all the more interesting. It feels like her way of resolving their power imbalance, of remaining a responsible (former!) authority figure... but it's also a coping mechanism. She's frightened by the ways Falin is maturing and changing - aging - and keeping her mental image of her friend as young as possible is her way of denying the march of time that's destined to sever their bond.

Marcille's dream of lifespan extension would remove the need for this obfuscation, render them equal... only, they already are! This desire is imposed onto Falin, but it's primarily for Marcille's benefit. Watching her fight for a world nobody wants, for reasons both selfish and altruistic... it's as tragic as it is understandable. I love this manga.

[kurogane2512]

The absolute feral things I’d do to be in between the four Fatui harbinger women I swear-

The most intense fivesome holy shit 🥵 Oh and it'll be a sixsome once we get Tsaritsa god I hope she'll have adult model 😩

18+ CONTENT

La Signora + Colombina + Sandrone + Arlecchino x fem!reader (I'd love to put Crucabena too ngl but hmm next time)

Smut with plot, fivesome with the Harbinger ladies 🥵 (I do apologize if some characterizations and dynamics are....different from what you'd expect or are used to seeing, I don't necessarily hc them the way majority of the fandom does. Also apologies for Signora bias it just happens naturally 😖).

This definitely turned out longer than planned but I thought to do it properly at once, might be messy idk first time writing a fivesome everything is so confusing but I did my best 😭

"Oh my, aren't you being quite rough with her, Marionette?~" a cheerful melodic voice resounded in your ear, the voice belonging to none other than the 3rd Fatui Harbinger, Colombina.

"May I remind you that you are the one who suggested doing this, Damselette?" the 7th Fatui Harbinger, Sandrone, retorted.

You were currently in one of the private rooms in the Zapolyarny Palace. You had been called by Sandrone stating requirement for some work, little did you know she simply wanted to use you for some stress relief. What you predicted even less was the involvement of Colombina, who invited herself in after finding out your whereabouts from the Fatui soldiers here and there. Her reason being that she was bored and was looking for you for some entertainment.

"Hehe, now now don't mind the details. She looks adorable this way, doesn't she?~" Colombina spoke in a cheerful voice sending shivers down your spine. How exactly were you looking? Ah that's right, you were blindfolded with your hands tied to the bedposts while both the Harbingers were seated on either side and watched you squirm.

"M-My ladies, please, we must not—"

"Oh, hush. I'm in a good mood right now so you might be in for a treat~" Colombina said.

"Hmph, if you are worried about your superior finding out then you should have resisted earlier when I called you, doll~" Sandrone added, her thumb tracing your lips.

Colombina gave a sound of agreement with Sandrone. You then felt another pair of fingers tracing your chin down to your neck, likely Colombina's considering their softness.

"Hmm, let us have some fun now, little lamb~"

You weren't new in the Fatui anymore, you had been here for 10 years now. But perhaps in the eyes of these immortal Harbingers, you were just a flicker of human life. And literally speaking, you were taller than Colombina but of course, nothing compared to her in terms of power and status. You felt a pair of hands roam down your chest and fondle your breasts through your clothes, one hand roaming even further down your abdomen.

You pursed your lips and breathed out intensely, your arms aching from being tied in the air but the 2 Harbingers didn't seem keen on releasing you anytime soon. You heard ruffling of clothes and assumed they had taken off their dresses; oh, how you wished to see them right now. Another pair of hands now unbuttoned your coat and draped it away to expose your body but didn't remove it completely.

"Ahem, what have I walked into here?~" a familiar voice spoke from afar, coming from the direction of the door.

"Knave, who gave you permission to enter?" Sandrone asked in a heavy tone.

"I knocked many times but nobody answered, Marionette. I meant to simply check if something was amiss and the door wasn't locked." The 4th Fatui Harbinger, Arlecchino, answered while standing in the doorway and looking at the scene in front with amusement.

"Oh, oops~ That would be me, I left it unlocked in case more parties were interested to join~" Colombina said in her cheery voice again.

You became even more nervous realizing another Harbinger was here and looking at your state of depravity. If your actual superior found out about this then you would be in trouble....

Arlecchino remained silent for a while and observed the scene before speaking, "Don't you both know Signora doesn't take well to her subordinates being used without her permission? Especially when it comes to her...."

The Knave was correct. You belonged to the 8th Harbinger, La Signora's unit and were one of her favorites, everyone knew that with the way she treated you. It was also true that she didn't like other Harbingers taking her subordinates without permission, especially when it came to uses like this.

"Hehe~ What? Are you going to tell on us like some obedient child, Knave?~" Colombina teased.

"Not that we care if you do, just to inform you~" Sandrone added.

Arlecchino gave no response and instead kicked the door close while walking inside. You heard her heels clink as she walked closer and became more anxious with each approaching step, you knew what was going to happen. Arlecchino removed her coat and pants then you felt the bed sink as she climbed on and crawled towards you. You could very well feel 3 dominating presences around you, all of them ready to devour you in their own ways.

"You prepared her like some lavish treat. I think it's time to unwrap~" Arlecchino remarked before removing the blindfold from your eyes. Bright light was cast on your vision causing you to squint your eyes for a moment before you opened them to see the 3 Harbingers around you, all of them sitting in just their bra and underwear.

"Are you scared, kitten?~" Arlecchino asked with a grin while grasping your jaw. You gulped then shook your head sideways, "N-No ma'am...."

Arlecchino's eyes flared, "Good. The Fair Lady indeed trains her subordinates well~"

Arlecchino then crawled to sit behind you. She undid your arms from the bedposts and made you sit on her lap, her breasts pressing against your back while her arms wrapped around your torso. Colombina and Sandrone spread your legs apart to sit in between and started roaming their hands all over you, caressing you like some prized possession. Arlecchino's fingers grazed your nipples through your bra while Colombina and Sandrone caressed your crotch, feeling your essence drip through and soak your pants.

"Oh, she's enjoying this. Give us your cute noises, little lamb. Show us how good you feel~" Colombina encouraged you.

You sighed through enclosed lips and threw your head back on Arlecchino's shoulder, giving her the perfect opportunity to kiss your exposed neck. Colombina and Sandrone slid down your shirt from each side and threw it away then dived in to kiss your chest and shoulders, their hands fondling your breasts simultaneously. Arlecchino's hands roamed down to your abdomen, pressing a finger against your clothed clit making you softly gasp.

You felt warm all over as they increased their ministrations gradually, their own body temperatures radiating through. However, the warmth was short lived as the room suddenly became frighteningly cold causing everyone to stop their movements. All of them smirked and looked towards the doorway to find the source of the sudden cold; of course, it was your superior standing at the doorway making the surroundings cold with her delusion.

You shivered feeling her presence and piercing gaze at you. She stood with her eye squinted and looked at the scene with clear anger on her face. Oh, you were in serious trouble, weren't you? Signora proceeded to walk in and stopped at the edge of the bed, looking at you and others with her arms folded over her chest and a frown on her face. The 3 Harbingers around you spoke nothing and instead continued their movements from earlier.

"How dare you three....!" Signora shouted, making you tremble from her high pitch and heavy voice. Colombina was first to chuckle and traced your cheek with her finger before planting a kiss on it, "You are late, Signora~"

Arlecchino followed and licked a strip up your neck, "She's already ours, Fair Lady~"

Sandrone continued by lightly biting your collarbone, "You can pick her up later. Unless you wish to join~"

Signora was seething at this point. She couldn't believe the audacity of her colleagues, but more than that she couldn't believe that you agreed to this. She knew it was futile to argue with them so she instead focused her gaze on you. You were speechless looking at her, you didn't know what to speak. You could tell she was angry but at the same time, she looked almost hurt as if you betrayed her.

"Explain yourself, Y/n!" she demanded.

"M-My lady, I'm sorry! I-I...."

You trailed off and struggled to give any explanation. What could you really say? You indeed consented to this even if you were initially caught off guard. This wasn't the first time the other Harbingers did these things with you, and Signora also knew that but she never had such a radical reaction like now.

"Do you want this, Y/n?" Signora asked further after sensing your silence, but what could you say other than silence?

"Tsk tsk, this is unfair, Signora~" Colombina broke the silence and replied in your stead.

"Mhm, you are putting her on the spot." Sandrone added.

"Indeed. What are you really expecting her to say?" Arlecchino also added.

Signora gritted her teeth at the unbelievable situation. She also wasn't sure what she wanted you to say; perhaps she wanted you to stop and go with her, only her. The three of them released you for a moment, letting you breathe and crawl off Arlecchino's lap to go near Signora. Signora furrowed her brows then turned around with a scoff and proceeded to walk away, not saying a word to anyone. You looked at her wide-eyed and quickly got up to catch up to her and stop her.

"M-My lady, please stop! Please listen to me!"

You grabbed her wrist and finally stopped her for a moment, begging her to listen. Signora turned to face you but she really didn't want to listen to anything.

"I...I'm sorry for doing this without your permission. But please, don't leave like this...."

Signora silently listened and you continued, "I promise this won't happen again but for now, could you please.... stay?"

Signora looked at you wide-eyed hearing your surprising request. The other 3 Harbingers were also caught by surprise but were more pleasantly amused. Signora thought for a while then let out a sigh and suddenly kept her hand on your chest and began pushing you backwards while she walked forward with you. You hit the bedside and she pushed you down to sit on the edge while she began removing her clothes.

"We do this one time. Is that clear?" Signora finally spoke and eyed each of the Harbingers around you.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you watched her remove her cape and slide down her dress to reveal her tempting figure, leaving just her bra and underwear on like the rest.

"Sure sure whatever. Now come here, litte lamb~"

Colombina feigned agreement to Signora's condition, the other 2 also giving a simple hum showing they didn't take it seriously. You were so caught up gazing at the Fair Lady's body that you froze in place and didn't move at all. Signora chuckled at your state and cupped your face, lightly caressing it before tracing your jaw with her cold fingers. You flinched slightly and realized the situation, Signora was ready to climb up on you but you quickly shifted back to your previous position and gave her space to come closer as well.

"Hm, disobeying my order, little lamb?~" Colombina pulled your face to her side, making you look at her.

"N-No ma'am! I'm sorry I didn't mean to—!"

"I'll forgive you if you make up for it~"

You vigorously nodded and waited for her, or any of them, to do something. All of them shifted closer to you and caged you within, leaving absolutely no space to escape. The next thing you knew, your body was being groped and felt all over by their hands. Signora caressed your neck and slid down to your belly, Colombina and Sandrone fondled each of your breasts while Arlecchino was caressing your nape and shoulders.

They then leaned in at the same time and began kissing you all over. Signora was busy marking your neck with her red lipstick, leaving visible imprints all over your chest. Colombina and Sandrone kissed your arms and licked your ears, Arlecchino was occupied with kissing your nape and back. You shuddered feeling each of their lips on you at the same time, numerous sensations running through your body making you lose your mind.

Signora licked up a long strip from your neck to your chin then connected your lips with hers in a passionate kiss. Your mind went blank feeling her soft lips on your own, the kiss being deep as she rolled her tongue with yours and explored your mouth. You gasped as she pulled away but had no time to breathe as your face was pulled to the right side and another set of lips kissed you.

"How unfair, Signora! I wanted to kiss her first!~" Colombina protested before deeply kissing you, her tongue swiping against your lips and exploring your mouth in a hurried manner.

Signora smirked, "You had her before me, you had all the time to make your move~"

"Hmph, you get to be with her most of the time. You must have had your fill already." Sandrone commented and pulled your face away from Colombina's grip then kissed you as well. Her kiss was slower but equally passionate as them, her tongue rolling with yours too.

"Now now, let's not overwhelm the poor girl~" Arlecchino's voice brushed past your ear as your face was turned to the extreme and she leaned forward to kiss you, biting your lower lip before rolling her tongue with yours. Your mind was numb by the time each of them kissed you, and you had no idea how you were going to handle the rest of the night.

"You all didn't even undress her properly. Am I supposed to do everything here?~" Signora remarked while looking at you still wearing your bra and underwear. Arlecchino was quick to act and unhooked your bra followed by Colombina and Sandrone sliding off each of the straps and putting it away. Signora's gaze roamed down to your underwear and your body acted on its own as you spread your legs and raised up slightly enabling her to take off your underwear.

"Good girl~" Signora praised with a smirk.

Soon after, you were lying flat on your back while Signora and Colombina fingered your folds and Arlecchino and Sandrone played with your breasts. You felt 2, even 3 fingers circling your clit and pinching it before parting your folds. Colombina was more impatient as she inserted a finger inside you immediately and started thrusting in and out, giggling along while looking at you moan and squirm.

Signora rolled her eyes at Colombina's behavior but wasn't going to be beaten by her. She inserted 2 fingers in one go as you were so wet already. Your body arched unexpectedly as a loud gasp was pushed from you, their fingers grinding and rolling inside to pleasure your sweet spots. Both of them also used their hands to continue rubbing your clit, making you wetter and grasp their fingers.

"Oh, she's so cute. I never have so much fun with anyone else~" Colombina cooed.

Meanwhile, Arlecchino and Sandrone were pinching and caressing your breasts. Their dainty fingers squeezed and pressed your nipples, eliciting even more moans from you. Arlecchino leaned down to wrap her lips around your nipple, her teeth grazed your bud before she suddenly started sucking. You gasped in pleasure and writhed more, making Sandrone annoyed as you weren't staying still as she wanted. Sandrone also resorted to sucking your nipples now and you had no way of moving around, essentially being weighed down by both of them.

"Aaaahn.... p-please.... I'm c-close—!~" you cried out, begging them for your release.

"No, you have to hold on, little lamb~" Colombina said.

"Mhm, you can do better than this, my tiger~" Signora added.

You bit your lower lip and desperately tried to hold on as they wanted but it was extremely difficult with all the pleasure you were receiving.

"It's our turn now." Arlecchino demanded after letting releasing your nipple with a pop, still circling the bud with her fingers.

"I don't know why I'm even bothering to wait this way." Sandrone commented.

"Oh, don't be in such a hurry both of you. We are going to make her cum first so just shut it and watch." Signora scolded without even looking at them, she was entirely focused on you.

Arlecchino and Sandrone took offense to her words but nevertheless waited for your sake. Signora curled her fingers and hit a particular spot inside you which made your eyes widen and body roll away, feeling overwhelmed instantly.

"There it is. I know your body best, don't I?~" she proudly said and continued hitting that spot. Colombina followed suit and touched the same spots as well. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your legs trying to close in and clenching their hands but both of them easily spread your legs wide again.

"Looks like it is time now. Cum for us, little lamb~" Colombina praised and you felt the knot in your stomach release as you finally came, drenching their fingers with your slick.

Both of them took out their fingers after a while, giving you a brief moment of relief as you breathed in and out. The break was short lived as you were suddenly flipped over to lay on your back then rotated around to face Signora and Colombina while Arlecchino and Sandrone had your crotch in sight. You whimpered from the rough handling, the 4 of them coordinated the movement with ease as if handling a mere toy.

Your legs were spread wide and you were pulled closer by Arlecchino and Sandrone as they occupied spaces between your legs and rubbed their fingers over your dripping folds. You looked back at them and blushed with the way they gazed at you, their lips curled up in a devious smirk and eyes flaring with desire. You tried to sit up slightly but found it difficult; as if sensing your difficulty, Signora pulled you closer and made you lay on her body.

Your face flushed against her breasts and her arms wrapped around to hold you comfortably. Colombina caressed your head and nape in this position and soon after Arlecchino and Sandrone started fingering you. You gasped and held onto Signora tighter, your moans muffled while Arlecchino and Sandrone's fingers wrapped inside your tight mushy walls. Their movements were more erratic and unkempt compared to Signora and Colombina, it was almost as if they were competing who'll make you cum.

"Nghhh~ M-My ladies.... s-slower, please— aaahn!~"

"Hm? Did you say harder?~" Arlecchino teased.

"I believe she said faster~" Sandrone added.

Your body trembled as they increased their pace opposed to your protests. Both of them had 2 fingers each inserted and scissored them roughly, grinding and thrusting everywhere all at once drawing out your juices. You were eventually standing on your knees and leaned into Signora, moaning into her ear while she held you and the 2 Harbingers behind continued fingering you.

"C-Cumming, please.... mmh— ngh!~"

Signora smirked and eyed Arlecchino and Sandrone who gave a nod of approval then hilted their fingers deeply, thrusting against your deepest spots. You jolted forward with a mewl, pressing into Signora even more as you neared your release. Arlecchino and Sandrone leaned on your back at the same time, their arms wrapping around you making you straighten your back. Their lips neared your ears, warm breath brushing past the edge as they whispered together, "Cum now, kitten/doll~"

You whimpered breathlessly and came, an intense orgasm washing over you making you go limp. They took out their fingers and played with your essence coating their tips while gazing at you with a smirk. You panted out hard while recovering from the mind-numbing sensation, but you were well aware the 4 of them were far from done with you. The fact that you could stay awake even now was commendable to them, and certainly fueled them to do more.

They looked at your quivering body and waited for some time before flipping you over again, making you lay flat on your back. Your legs were parted and you felt Signora straddle you in a scissor formation, keeping one leg over the other. You realized she had removed her underwear as you felt her folds rub on your thigh, you then looked around and saw all of them had discarded their underwear sometime while you were recovering.

Signora wetted her fingers and rubbed her core with them while Colombina was quick to straddle your face and place her core on your lips while facing you, looking down at you with a playful smile.

"Seems to me you both are far more impatient than us." Sandrone husked then grabbed your left hand and placed it under her core, aligning your fingers up.

Arlecchino moved to the other side and did the same with your right hand, "Indeed, I'll have to forcefully take her if this keeps up~"

Signora scoffed, "I don't care where you all take her. In the end, she will always come back to me~"

"Mmmh, I'll just go ahead and start while you three bicker away~" Colombina announced then started moving back n forth on your lips, you lapped up her folds with your tongue while her fingers gripped your hair and used it as leverage to grind herself on you.

Signora was next to act as she slowly joined her core with yours, your wet folds gliding over each other's and eliciting muffled moans from you that went straight to Colombina and made her shiver in ecstasy. Signora sighed in pleasure as your clit bumped with hers, her body shifting closer as she held your leg up on her shoulder and grinded with you.

The next course of action was obvious to you so you took the initiation and inserted each of your fingers inside Arlecchino and Sandrone respectively. Both of them were caught by surprise but maintained their composure and stabilized themselves before grinding back n forth as well, making your fingers hit the right spots inside them.

It was a highly erotic situation for you, all of your senses were occupied by them in some way and you were desperately trying to do your best to please them. Good thing your Fatui training came in handy, it would be impossible to keep up in a situation like this if you were just some normal citizen. Even then, this was more difficult than your field operations since you had to please 4 of your superiors at the same time, all of them having high expectations of you.

"Aaahn.... yes, right there.... little lamb.... oh, you are good at this~" Colombina moaned.

"Mhm... i-indeed, not bad.... she's improved— hngh!~" Sandrone added.

"R-Really? Mm.... s-she can improve more but perhaps.... this is better than b-before.... mmph~" Arlecchino followed reluctantly.

"Hehe.... don't underestimate her t-training.... ha— aahn~" Signora continued.

Colombina gripped your hair tighter and was riding your face with all her heart now, clearly becoming desperate to cum now. Her petite frame was easier to handle but she was also relentless, grinding back n forth on your face as if it was just a pillow. Sandrone was rubbing her clit now while you fingered her, curling your fingers inside her and hitting her sensitive spots.

Arlecchino was bouncing on your fingers now, trying to take them as deep as possible. Signora was being deliberately slow, she wanted to let the others finish first so she could have you all to herself for this moment. She thrusted into your core with long arcs, making you feel every sensation of her folds rubbing with yours. You were in cloud 9 by now, absolutely surrendered to all of them.

"Yes.... yes.... I'm there, little lamb.... just here.... yes— aaahn!~" Colombina moaned loudly as she released first, her juices dripping on your mouth and you tried drinking every drop. She panted on top of you for a moment then stood up and rolled on the bed, laying down in ecstasy.

Both Arlecchino and Sandrone were holding back their moans, simply giving little gruff sounds as they thrusted and bounced on your fingers before releasing one after the other then got off and laid on the bed as well, fanning their faces while resting. Signora took the opportunity she was waiting for. She grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, a startled gasp coming from you while she wrapped your thighs around herself.

Signora then leaned forward on you and covered your entire body, enabling you to see and feel nothing but her. Her hips rolled into you faster now, your core bumping and sliding off each other as slick mixed together. You gazed up at her with a pleasured look, eyes hooded and lips parted. She leaned down even further and almost embraced you now, her breasts pressing into yours and palms intertwining together.

You moaned as your legs were pushed back by her, your knees folding close to your chest and she kept grinding and rocking her body, fucking you as if she owned you which, in a sense, she did. You felt her face near your ear as her lips brushed the edge and her soft moans resounded closely, making you even more aroused from just her voice. But what she said next made you instantly release.

"Cum with me, my love~"

As if like a broken dam, you released abruptly and squirted all over. Signora grinned at your state and released immediately after, colliding her core with yours and keeping it connected as you gushed over her. Your body heaved intensely, you were seeing stars at this point and your mind practically stopped functioning. Signora rocked a few times to finish her orgasm then removed herself from you before sitting on the left side and recovering.

"Ah, this was good. But I want more!~" Colombina keened with a pout.

"Did you forget we have work to do, Damselette?" Sandrone scolded.

"Ugh, who cares about the boring work? Don't worry, I'm sure Her Majesty will understand~" Colombina retored.

Arlecchino sighed, "If we are continuing, then I demand to change some things."

Signora chuckled in response then suddenly stood up and wore her clothes again then picked you up in her arms bridal style and wrapped her cape over you.

"I said we do it once. I will be taking what's mine now, Y/n needs some rest then I will have a nice long talk with her~"

Signora proceeded to walk out, ignoring the protests of her colleagues- Colombina, particularly since Arlecchino and Sandrone accepted this and began to leave as well. Signora gazed at your curled up figure snuggled into her and smiled to herself, thinking how much importance you held in her heart.

[kateysummers99]

Do you think the WWBM Interacial movement has now got to a critical point where momentum has starting to challenge even the majority of White Women now as far as there choices for relationship ? May we as White Males even lose this group of females to African Men more then we keep ourselves ?

The short answer is definitely yes.

Because of my own personal experiences and also just looking at major social trends, it's pretty obvious that IR relationships (in general, but specifically white girls and black guys) are much more common now than they were 10, 30, and 30 years ago. 

I think there are lots of reasons for this and I’m obviously not an expert (I work in finance, not cultural psychology), but lets just look at the obvious trends:

Girls today are more empowered in general, and especially regarding sexuality and romance. I mention this a lot on this blog, there are less things hold girls back than there used to be. Movies and TV and culture in general are so much more accepting that people can love who they want to love, and that applies especially to society being more accepting of girls expressing their sexuality. I grew up in a time when dating black guys was an obvious but implied no-no, and it's just not the same today. (Note this is NOT true everywhere. Sadly there are racists and homophobes still, but they will probably be holdouts until they die.)

Black men are idolized for their physicality and masculinity by society more and more every day. Sports, music, advertising media, movies, social media and TV shows - you name it, black guys are constantly the icon of masculinity, status and power. This is really true for their masculinity, where we regularly fetishize the sexual prowess of black men in every day culture with phrases like “once you go black you never go back.” 

Porn is free and everywhere. Also something that wasn’t the case when I was growing up, but now you just pick up any cell phone and in a few seconds be privately and anonymously staring at an amazing black man and his huge black cock (or whatever your fantasy is).

Also in the last few years, social justice and institutional racism has become a hot topic, I think a lot of women recognize that the same old white male patriarchy that has been suppressing women since the beginning of time has also been responsible for suppressing Black people. This puts white women and black men on the same side on a pretty deep level, where they see each other in the same existential struggle for happiness against the common enemy that is old white guys.

Another interesting thing that I've read reports about is more and more young white guys who are essentially "staying single" forever, sometimes due to porn addiction. They make a sexual connection with porn that is easy and judgment free, which is the opposite of the real-world dating situation where they deal with complex social dynamics and competition (including trying to compete against more masculine black men who are constantly in movies and music).

So if that's a growing tend... then young women find themselves more free in choosing partners, society idolizing black guys, exposed to IR sex and porn, and more culturally aligned with black guys… and young white guys basically removing themselves from the dating pool.

As for me personally, I have always thought think black guy / white girl couples are the most beautiful -- there's a special passion and primal attraction that goes deep down that you just don't see with other couples.

So yes, I think black guy and white girl couples are definitely more and more popular. I don’t think we’ll ever get to a point where all white men are unwanted forever (sorry white boys who message me, desperate to live in such a world), but I do think increasingly empowered girls and wider acceptance of female sexuality will naturally trend to more black guys and white girls together - which is all beautiful to me :)

[fuckyeahisawthat]

The failmarriage hatesex fic is growing a second chapter which is very funny to me because Paul/Irulan was a ship I was actively not interested in. But apparently I just needed to unlock the Secret Good Ship Dynamic in my head that makes it compelling to me personally.

Calm, cool, collected ice queen Irulan, effortlessly manipulating things from behind the scenes? Boring to me apparently. Irulan who is frustrated, furious and scared, desperately trying to find a lever to exercise some control over her situation but extremely aware of the fact that she is trapped on the space cocaine death planet under the control of a man who has recently become the most powerful person in the universe and seems rather inclined to violence? Fucking catnip.

And then combine that with Paul being cold and kind of mean but never physically violent, which leaves the threat implicit, which is often scarier (and Paul is always most interesting when he's scary), and leaning into that ambiguity of never exactly knowing how self-aware he is about how much power he has over her.

And then the final element being that Chani is not there. Which seems counterintuitive because I am Chani's #1 defense lawyer. But the thing that I always found unappealing about Paul/Irulan was the idea of the blonde offworlder princess supplanting the indigenous woman canon love interest both in terms of narrative focus and as Paul's primary or ideal partner. And I could never quite make the threesome dynamic work in my head with the book characters because I could never figure out why Chani would ever like or trust Irulan, especially after the whole, y'know, feeding her birth control without her knowledge or consent FOR YEARS thing (which is horrifying enough on a person to person level, but add in the racial/colonial dimension to it and f u c k i n g y i k e s d u d e.)

But ironically once Chani removes herself from the situation--for completely justified reasons--her place in the narrative becomes irrefutable. Because Paul and Irulan both know that he wouldn't give her a second glance if Chani were still around; that he's only fucking her because she's there; that he is just using her as a stand-in for the person he'd rather be doing this with, and she's an inferior replacement as far as he's concerned. Chewy chewy chewy.

And the cherry on top is Irulan belatedly figuring out that she maybe possibly has a tiny bit of a humiliation kink, and the only person who's ever clocked it is Paul. RIP girl but he is gonna be SO fucking annoying about that.

[gothicbarbie]

MY TOP 10 BEST BL COUPLES OF 2023

So I guess I'm a little late considering it's now 2024 in most places, but well, better late than never. I tried and failed to rank top 20 or even 10 kisses... I just couldn't remember them all or even choose... but most of my top couples have some pretty great kisses, so at least there's that! I can, however, rank my favorite BL pairings from 2023, so... let's do it! I will be ranking these from least favorite to favorite because I think it's more fun that way... Also I credited all the gif makers at the bottom but I did list the tumblr user for each specific gif underneath. If someone wants me to remove their gif, please let me know and I will so! I just wanted to pretty up the post a bit.

Also, to clarify, any couple on a show that is currently airing and not complete yet is not eligible to be on the list for 2023. Trust me, there were many I wanted to include!

Honorary Mentions:

Tinn & Gun | My School President

So, spoiler, a different GeminiFourth pairing will be on the actual top 10 so I didn't really want to include both pairings on the list, but I really did love the two of them in My School President. G/F just have such a wonderful and natural chemistry. The way they always look at each other just feels so pure and sweet. I really like pairings where one is secretly pining for the other, but Tinn/Gun also sorta had a hate/love ISH thing going for a little while. The progression of their relationship to actual boyfriends was just so fun to watch and really well done.

Dong Wook & Do Hyun | A Breeze of Love

I watched this BL so quickly that it didn't really resonate with me as well as some other series, which is why these two didn't make the top 10, however, I really enjoyed their relationship on the show. I love hate to love pairings and I found their backstory scenes really sweet as well. I also thought they had a really nice chemistry and there were some strong kissing moments for a kbl.

Jihan & Jaejun | City Boy Log

I didn't include these two on the main list for two reasons, one: the show is not over yet... i don't think? and two: this technically isn't a BL drama? IDK anymore, but regardless I love this series and this couple so dang much! I love the realness of them filming themselves and how their relationship is portrayed so subtly until their feelings just sort of emerge. They have some really wonderful and special scenes or moments together that we don't typically get on other series. I am anxious to see where the rest of the story goes and I hope the actors get another opportunity to work together. The side pairing is great too!

Top 10!

#10. Ai & Songkhram | Destiny Seeker

These two were so damn fun to watch, I really loved the hate to love thing at the start that quickly turned into love (Or I guess always sort of was???). The actors had such a great chemistry together and they had so many fun little moments and bantery scenes together. While the rest of the series felt a little flat for me, their connection continuously kept me interested.

#09. Ze Rui & Zong Yi | Kiseki Dear to Me

Honestly don't even know what to write about these two or how to explain why I like them, because there wasn't anything particularly special about their dynamic that typically draws me in, but I just really enjoyed the actors chemistry together and I really liked the progression of their relationship and how well they meshed together. Their kissing was extremely natural too.

#08. King & Eua | Bed Friend

Firstly, these two are HOT AF, and I really loved the friends with benefits storyline between these two, but more than that, we have a perfect character imo with King, who was continuously there for Eua and always trying to help him and make him understand how much he really cared. The show could be very dark at times but I love that King was always sort of the shining light for Eua.

#07. Segaski & Yoh | My Personal Weatherman

I can admit that the big draw to this show for me originally was the sexy scenes and moments, and while I do think the series could have done with some more scenery changes and better storylines, considering the time frame, I enjoyed watching the relationship between the two characters develop. It's nice to get a friends with benefits type of relationship and see how it progresses into more than that. And for a JBL it was nice to see some high heat with a happy ending.

#06. Su Yu & Wu Bi | Stay With Me

SIGH. THESE TWO. So I mean, I understand the criticism of this show and their relationship. So many things are implied but personally I felt like the end half made it pretty clear that these two were 100% a romantic couple. (just wish it was clarified when that change happened) But the progression of their relationship from hate to love was so beautiful to watch. Even if it was just a friendship it was worth it imo to see how close they got. Fair warning, the finale episode is not the best lmao, but I hope we get a second season to sort of fix it? Fingers crossed on that one.

#05. Wan & Ki Tae | Our Dating Sim

This was definitely one of the cutest BL's of the year and this couple falls into that category well too. I really loved seeing them re-connect. I love that they were old best friends (with feelings) that had a lot of issues to sort through and we saw some adorable flashback scenes as well as current scenes. I also love that they got together and were mostly happy instead of having a lot of intense drama.

#04. Li Ming & Heart | Moonlight Chicken

These two... so much to say about them and yet I don't really know where to start. Gemini and Fourth just work so well together and I felt like this duo was even deeper than in MSP. They started out on bad terms but quickly became close and I really loved the progression of their relationship and then I adored how we also got to see them together as a couple too. My favorite thing about them was how hard Li Ming worked to try to understand Heart and how he learned sign language for him and encouraged him to get to know others like him and to put himself out there. They also had such a fun banter with playful moments and scenes. It was just so damn pure and sweet to watch with no unnecessary or stupid fillery drama.

#03. Jae Won and Ji Hyun | The Eighth Sense

Something about this pairing just felt so much different than the typical KBL pairing. The show itself was so much deeper and had a more serious tone than we typically get, which was amazing. The actors nailed the roles and you could really feel the tension and longing between them right from the beginning. I loved their storyline so much and the actors seemed so comfortable together.

#02. Yamato & Kakeru | I Cannot Reach You

This was one of my favorite BL's of the year and their relationship was a huge part of it. I thought I was more into hate to love, but clearly, based on this list, that isn't always the case. There is something so sweet and adorable about best friends turned to lovers. I really love too when we see one side pining for the other, so this couple was extremely enjoyable to watch!

#01. Chen Yi & Ai Di | Kiseki Dear To Me

Good Lord these two... they had the perfect formula for my favorite type of pairing. Hate to love, drama, tension, angst, one-sided pining... it was so painful to have to wait every week for more. But god, it was worth the wait and their chemistry was just so good, their kisses were phenomenal too. Def. a memorable pair and a show I will be rewatching very soon!

THANK YOU to all these wonderful humans for making the most amazing gifs that I used in this post!

[bthump]

what draws you to homosexual relationships in fiction as opposed to heterosexual ones? I noticed I prefer them as well but I don’t really know why. Or maybe it’s just in the media I like the homosexual relationships are written to be much more compelling, I don’t know. This isn’t hate against het relationships btw I support all sexualities

Probably a million different reasons honestly. Off the top of my head, some of my personal reasons:

-- I'm bi but more interested in gay relationships in my personal life, so my fictional interests reflect my irl interests.

-- Removes misogyny as a factor both within the romantic dynamic and, if m/m, the depiction.

-- Relatedly, I hate how 99% of hetero relationships in media have a built in lowkey unacknowledged d/s vibe due to that misogyny. Woman passive man active, woman pursued man pursues, woman weak man strong, woman soft man hard, woman fucked man fuck, woman object man subject, woman prize man winner, woman small man big, woman puts in work and money to make herself attractive man gets to live at his default state, woman desirable for looks man desirable for personality/money/skill, woman financially dependent on man, etc etc etc. Turns me off.

-- Like at least when that's the dynamic in m/m or f/f it's deliberately someone's kink and a gender norm is being subverted by one of the characters.

-- Gay relationships being more equal is something I've seen cited a lot, rightly or not, but it isn't one of my reasons lol, I like unequal relationships in fiction. That said, gender not being a factor in that inequality is definitely a draw for me.

-- Subtext is more engaging than most textual romances, and gay relationships are more likely to be subtext while het is more likely to be textual.

-- Gay sex (m/m and f/f) turns me on, straight sex rarely does.

-- Specific to m/m, but men in fiction are more likely to have compelling, complicated, deep relationships with each other than they are with women.

-- I enjoy gender nonconformity which is much more plentiful in gay ships and fiction than straight media.

-- Heterosexuality is oversaturated in media and I'm exhausted and irritated by its ubiquitousness.

-- As someone who grew up in the 90s, the existence of casually gay popular media still blows my mind lol, the shine has not come even close to wearing off. Heterosexual media just can't compete with that.

Anyway yeah, those are a few of my reasons, and maybe they align with some of yours as well.

Ultimately though I don't think it matters and it shouldn't be something you feel the need to justify imo. Enjoy whatever you enjoy for whatever reason, or no reason at all. But if you enjoy soul searching, then maybe this list is a decent starting point.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

Alhaitham and Kaveh as each other's 'home'

(This is a reworked excerpt taken from my Haikaveh essay! If you're interested you can check it out here or as a pdf <3)

Family is an important theme, particularly in regard to Kaveh, as the reason for his guilt is based upon his belief that he destroyed his own family. For Kaveh, family – home – is a place in which “words [are] not necessary” since companionship is valued above all:

Family is also important for Alhaitham, however, as there is a particular focus on the relationship between him and his late grandmother within his character stories, as her influence over him incentivised him to pursue the “peaceful” way of life he seeks to maintain:

After the death of his grandmother, Alhaitham lived alone and attended the Akademiya, just as Kaveh did as his mother left for Fontaine after his enrolment. Kaveh’s loss of family leads directly into him meeting Alhaitham. This establishes a direct correlation between Alhaitham and family, indicating that Alhaitham filled a role recently lacking in Kaveh’s life. This is relevant to Alhaitham, as he had enrolled in the Akademiya after the passing of his grandmother, meaning that, similar to Kaveh, he, too, had no family.

The idea of found family, as in, a tightly knit support network built with mutual sentiment between unrelated people, is introduced in Sumeru as the joint-thesis. Academic family is highly valued amongst scholars and comes into fruition through the working together on projects. This can be observed within the dynamic between Tighnari, Cyno, and Collei, as during the Windblume event, they describe themselves as a family formed outside of academia, even assigning themselves titles akin to a real biological family.

Alhaitham and Kaveh then established this found family in each other upon working together on a joint thesis, although additional scholars initially worked with them before dropping out. Their argument culminated in Kaveh ripping up their thesis, which effectively ended their friendship, and familial bond, made mutual by Alhaitham removing his name from the project. Kaveh, however,  is described to have pieced the thesis cover back together with “deep regret”, and placed it in his old sketchbook.

In this, Kaveh regrets the loss of his connection with Alhaitham, and the family that their joint thesis established. Although he has pieced together the thesis cover, their family remains severed as reconciliation is perceived as implausible due to their differences:

Most notably, it is the building which serves as Alhaitham’s house which is crucial to the motif of home. Due to their combined efforts in their joint thesis, the Akademiya gifted the two a research centre, as the results of their thesis had significant impact despite not being completed. When Alhaitham took up the property after graduation, he heard through a third-party, sent by Kaveh, that Kaveh was relinquishing rights of the property due to him not being in need of a house. It was after this that Alhaitham invested in the property, converting it into a house, where he took up residence, and then invited Kaveh to live with him, after the two met in the tavern. Although it is understood to be Alhaitham’s property, since Kaveh relinquished his right to it, Alhaitham considers Kaveh to be his “roommate” rather than a tenant, despite Kaveh paying rent.

Kaveh and Alhaitham split the chores according to Alhaitham’s Character Story, although they mostly fall to Kaveh; they both make attempts to decorate the house; presumably they eat dinner together, according to Alhaitham’s Story Quest where he excuses himself in order to have dinner, only to talk to Kaveh; the two can be seen to share a study; when ordering out, Kaveh orders extra for Alhaitham – a common enough occurrence for Alhaitham to be confident in relying on this. Rather than “cold” and “lonely” this conjures the image of warmth and familiarity. In this, it can be inferred that the two have created a home together.

Referring back to Kaveh’s understanding of “home”, as in a place in which words are not necessary, and linking it to the idea of companionship being more important than understanding introduced in his hangout. The latter idea consists of supporting a person, regardless of the ability to empathise with and relate to their particular struggles, should be valued over attempting to be wholly understood by people who are not willing to listen.

In this, Alhaitham is offered as a companion to Kaveh, where he cannot empathise with Kaveh’s artistic and idealistic struggles, but he is willing to listen to him, rather than offering words which cannot solve Kaveh’s particular problems.

By Kaveh’s understanding of “home” as a place in which people are at ease with each other and support another regardless, this can be seen within his relationship with Alhaitham. As Kaveh has pieced together their ripped up thesis cover with “deep regret” of what it symbolises, the severance of his and Alhaitham’s relationship, Alhaitham inviting Kaveh to live with him serves as mirroring actions of reconciliation.

Kaveh's idea of 'home' in encapsulated in both the building and the company Alhaitham provides. The building that had initially served as a physical representation of their severed harmony of ideals, aborted friendship and dissolved found family, has been transformed into a house, and now a home for the two to share.

[yangsharperavery]

so here's the thing...

i've written about this topic a few times during and after season 1, but the carmy and sydney of it all remains a highly contested and discussed topic. even after season two.

what i find so truly fascinating is that chris storer and joanna calo and everyone involved with the creation of this lovely, well constructed show absolutely could have created the duo they work SO hard in the press to convince viewership they intended.

if they really wanted sydney to be a psuedo/standin sibling for the one carmy lost, or the brainy, determined business partner that comes in to orient a sinking ship...

there are a couple hundred ways they could have managed that and made it abundantly clear that's what the angle was within the dynamic between carmy and sydney.

instead... we have all this very overtly (and covertly) romantic, potent and simmering subtext regarding the nature of their relationship and what they mean to one another, their effect on each other and their seemingly endless potential.

in a whole host of ways there are a number of scenes that literally don't make sense without the lens of the undercurrent of feelings or reverence or romance or something that exists between them beyond the intended business partners/co-creatives.

there are ways to narratively parallel sydney as a mirror and equal and peer of carmy's void of all ambiguity and romantic tension and any energy of awkward longing or confusion.

but that's not actually what we got. i've been consuming television media for most of my life. i've watched hundreds of shows; shipping has never been a requirement for my viewership or interest.

which leads me to believe that there's either a bunch of deflection/dismissing happening for a very distinct reason. or there's been a bait and switch planned from the beginning.

you would literally have to remove 75% of the nuance within carmy and sydney's interactions for the stictly platonic claims to make sense and effectively land.

you'd have to go through and remove various staging, shot selection, editing, music choices and sometimes entire scenes to accurately convey original or "intended" messaging.

to completely eradicate the liminal space of subjectivity between them.

why is carmy talking about tina looking like sydney with that distinct expression on his face when they all wear that apron?

why are they being awkward at the lockers like it isn't customary for coworkers and business partners to go out after work for dinner or drinks or whatever (literally evidenced by tina this season)?

why is sydney mentioning jealousy at all when it comes to carmy's relationship? especially when it makes perfect sense for her to be upset with him for not pulling his weight?

why is sydney entering into carmy's life for the first time and deciding to stay, the second time, something that literally brings him out of his panic? when it could have been him cooking, his drawings, his staff, his gf. ANYTHING else.

they effectively made sydney an emotional, mental and energetic tether for him in that scene. for what reason? business partner ones or????

why do they bicker like an old married couple? is that customary for creative collaborators and coworkers?

why superimpose sydney, parallel her doing something the audience saw carmy do last season, and then show her going about her night while he's by contrast, with his girlfriend? why show a random closeup of a meaningful tattoo on her shoulder? no thematic significance beyond the grind of the restaurant world and career ambition?

why is there an obvious awkward breaking of energy after a highly vulnerable and tender moment between the two of them under the table? why does sydney noticeably fidget/adjust herself/her apron when he walks away to get her gift?

there's actually a hundred instances of these questions you could ask over the course of the two seasons when it comes to them.

so the reasoning behind the shipper pushback is baffling and a bit laughable.

some people bring into question, perhaps this is just the natural chemistry that jaw and ayo bring to their characters bc they're obviously good friends.

which... sure. i guess. but even that begs the question, you wrote and shot and constructed a story a specific way and then your two actors sort of bled on and expanded the material in a very obvious way you didn't expect?

cool, cool. so again... you're surprised that could lead to viewership seeing something deeper than mere platonic business partners?

that's shocking and surprising to you?

no way.

especially considering storer and calo have commented on how close jaw and ayo are and that their dynamic is different than the one she has with ebon and lionel. which is hilarious bc she adores ebon and has been out of the country traveling with lionel (and some other people from odd future.)

so clearly they all enjoy each other, are friends and get along.

but why even make that note of demarcation regarding jaw and ayo's dynamic and STILL be like "oh yeah, we didn't write or mean for them to be a romance " you're shocked that people SEE something given your storytelling and their obvious connection that even you, the creators themselves remarked on?!?!

there's a picture from the golden globes of ayo holding jaw's mom's hands during his acceptance speech. like they're really besties.

but i'm sorry, they can't bestie themselves into what carmy and sydney clearly exemplify on our screens without an entire framework at their disposal. because they're talented and professionals.

so if the writing is saying something, then it's intentional.

maybe the intention was to have their characters skirt and skate on the periphery of each other.

maybe it was for things to be awkward and weird and undefined or hectic and toxic.

maybe they weren't ever gonna have some relegated idea of a shipper's happily ever after.

people have feelings that go unexpressed and undefined. people fall in love and then don't end up together.

maybe the slow burn fizzles out, maybe it explodes or implodes, maybe one of them self denies, maybe they both do.

maybe it will or won’t be addressed directly or covertly. that's actually not a requirement for its existence.

to act like there isn't something true and obvious and visceral that exists between these characters is frankly like asking those who watch your show not to use their eyes and their brains.

impossible.

[hologramcowboy]

https://www.tumblr.com/hologramcowboy/757094913914617856/i-loved-your-answer-about-the-compliments-from-the?source=share

Now, this is getting a bit over the top 🤣. Are you telling me you haven't heard the stories from wait staff, cashiers, airport workers, car hires, etc., over the years? The reports are consistently the same: he's very down-to-earth, kind, and polite. Many have said they didn't even know he was famous until someone else mentioned it; they just thought he was a nice guy who always showed an interest in how they were doing. There are stories from other sets he's worked on that highlight how well he gets along with both actors and, importantly, the crews. His first TV dad on Days of Our Lives mentioned his great relationship with the crew. On Dark Angel, a producer pointed out how friendly he was with the crew. On Smallville, Lionel Luthor actor John Glover noted how the crew just loved him. His close relationship with the SPN crew is very well known. Even on his most recent projects, it's clear he's continued to be appreciative toward the crews and maintains good relationships with them. On My Bloody Valentine 3D, the writer was impressed by how he treated the crew and how he introduced himself because lead actors generally aren't known for taking an interest in the writers. The writer was also impressed by how collaborative and generous he was, noting that Jensen gave away one of his character's best lines because he felt it would work better for a different character. Guest actors have often commented on how he learned their names (apparently, this often isn't the norm), read lines with them, etc. And the stories from people who went to high school with him all describe positive interactions.

Also, who was at the hospital when Rob had the stroke? It was Rich, Jensen, and Misha—not Jared. Jensen was the one the SPN crew depended on even more than Jared. Jensen was the one who stopped the production of SPN twice, once when Misha was very sick, and another time I can't recall. I'm not saying Jensen is perfect or a saint; everyone has their flaws and makes mistakes. However, discrediting Jensen's endless hard work and kindness on the sets and in public when he was the one who encouraged fans to approach them out in the 'wild' is not fair. You don't know these stories because you always have your Jared-centered glasses on and think it was Jared who made SPN welcoming when guest stars have said it was Jensen who did that. It is quite telling that Jensen can remember guest stars' names, flight attendants' names, and other people's names, and recall events that happened when he was with them. So, where are the stories like this about Jared?

How did this become about Jared? Are you trying to remove attention from what I said? Is that it? Because, I have news for you, what I wrote is 150% truth and anyone who is a professional actor will fully get it, those who are not don't know the inner dynamics and that's fine. Again, being courteous as an Actor is a *requirement*. All actors must behave courteously on and off set to maintain image and promote their projects. Not doing so can end with being fired on the spot.

Jensen keeps saying he wants to be a light in the world but does zero to achieve that and solely relies on flirting with fans and simple "hello, how are you?". His so called "kindness" is very much contradicted when he displays incredible arrogance and ignorance.

I don't know about you but just because someone is nice on the surface doesn't mean they get my vote. Also, I wasn't talking about everyone, I was specifically talking about lines said by TB actresses for PR reasons and now we know why, Jensen's new series is upcoming.

[crystallinestars]

Wow, it’s such a relief to find people who don’t like Haikaveh either. Was really disappointed when I read Sethos’s voiceline.. I am bisexual and I think that Haikaveh (along with many other pairings) is queerbaiting and some type of fetish. I’ve made a long written analysis on why I think it is and how I think it’s offensive, simply because I find it interesting and enjoy analyzing things. Really love their duo and they’re great parallels but they fit a sibling / platonic soulmate duo better than a romantic one 🤦‍♀️ It’s getting annoying at this point and I wish Hoyoverse would stop, but it earns them attention and money so why would they? Just want to enjoy my favorite character without him being used as an accessory for another. Disappoints me that other gay people don’t notice (or care) that they are being stereotypical themselves and that Hoyoverse is basically using our sexualities for accessories and money. Haven’t looked into the translation thing with Sethos’s voiceline but if it’s true it was more neutral in CN, then that’s interesting. The same Haikaveh defenders will yap about how “CN is the original!1!1!1” but if you bring something like this translation up they lose it. Hoyoverse has never been a “gay representation” company, it’s a queer-baiting one. 🤦‍♀️ But at the same time, I don’t really even care. I’m not a gay person who cares much about my sexuality or others, but things like this are frustrating. Wish there were more people who understand my view on why I think their presentation is harmful.

- 🪷 / 🪽

Hello 🪷/🪽 Anon! (Let me know if you want to go by both emojis or just one) Welcome to our small club of not being into Haikaveh (or most Hoyoverse queer ships).

I agree with you that Kaveh and Haitham have a very sibling/platonic dynamic. In fact, their bickering reminds me a lot of my younger siblings’ bickering, so I view them as brothers, as well. It’s just unfortunate that the fandom rejects any interpretation that’s not romantic.

I also wish Mihoyo would stop, but they’re obsessed with tossing ship crumbs, and only to the most popular ships. As you said, it makes them money, so they have no reason to stop.

There is definitely some queerbaiting in Genshin, but I would say it’s not as bad as in HSR. HSR sometimes made me very uncomfortable with the fetishization of some of their ships, and I wondered if a man wrote it for a straight male audience…

Mihoyo has always had a history of wanting to include same-sex pairings in their games. Honkai Impact 3rd has a confirmed lesbian MC, and also two other female characters who canonically kiss (but due to updated laws in China, they had to remove that scene).

It doesn’t surprise me that they want to do similar things in Genshin and HSR, but they never commit to the ships. They only tease and hint at them, ala “There might be something between these characters, but also not really, but what if…?” and this is pretty much exclusive to same-sex pairings. This teasing and hinting makes the fandom so much worse to be in. Lots of other gacha games don’t do this, but for whatever reason, Mihoyo does.

I suspect some of the employees working on the game may be queer or have a huge interest in BL and GL (though it’s probably a mix of both), which is why they make all these ship crumbs. There’s nothing wrong with having queer relationships in games and other media, but the way they go about it feels… fetishizing, I guess? It doesn’t feel genuine. I can’t quite put my finger on what feels so off about this. You would know about this far more than me since you analyzed this already, so if you have interpretations you want to add, I’ll gladly hear you out.

It sucks because they market their games as being for all audiences, but then do things with a heavy bias for certain ships. It makes it so difficult to enjoy characters the way you want when the developer and fandom constantly shove in your face that your favorite character has an implied relationship or some other such thing.

Regarding the Sethos voiceline… my friend in China, who also dislikes Haikaveh, complained to me about it the other day. She said the original Chinese text felt like it was implying something between Kaveh and Haitham. Of course, that is just her personal interpretation, and some people don’t see a deeper meaning behind the words. However, it goes to show that even the Chinese audience can tell something is up with the voiceline, so it might not be as neutral as we hoped.

I’m all for more media having queer rep, but Mihoyo doesn’t do it right. I really wish I could just play their games without having ship teasing slapped in my face, but alas, they won’t ever change. At this point, it’s better to not play any of their games (though maybe Tears of Themis can stay) and ditch the fandoms for your peace of mind.

[darkfictionjude]

Etymology nonnie here!

Although I'm sure many of my questions may be answered in the patreon demo, I do have some things to ask about the Mafia IF (it's initials would be EC, right?).

1. One of the RO's is considered the heir of our family. Which means that Luce, for whatever reason, is not. Now, why is Luce not the heir?

Well, maybe this is customizable, but I see the following possibilities:

a) Luce is not part of the Mafia business. Either because their father does not want them to and Luce accepts this (that is, Luce would be allowed to be a part of it, but neither their parent nor them want them to be), or because Luce is allowed not to be a part of it. Maybe the plan is something similar to Michael Corleone, so Luce is meant to have legit career like Law, so eventually they can become a politician who helps the business that way. There are plenty of possibilities. I think this one is very likely because of the fiancé(e), but I don't know if they are a marriage out of convenience, love, or both.

b) Luce is a part of the Mafia business, but is less capable than the chosen heir. Or Luce is considered less trustworthy, for whatever reason.

c) Luce is not part of the Mafia business by not fault of their own. But they have an issue, like an illness or disability, that does not allow them to be a member. Something similar to WWC MC, if you will. I doubt this is the case, since normally such a thing is included in the original post. Although I do admit it would be interesting and angsty.

d) Luce is part of the Mafia business, but has been made to work from the bottom to the top. So, they are not considered the heir thanks to this. They have to still reach a higher position in the hierarchy.

There may be another explanations that are not dependant on Luce. Like the heir being a secret child of Luce's father (which I doubt because although this blog has debated about including incest in IFs, I would expect this to be announced in the introductory post). Or maybe the relationship between Luce and their family is very strained, or at least enough that no one expects to have Luce inherit everything.

But what really makes me curious is why the heir is younger than Luce. I think I would have less of a need to ask about the situation if the heir was older. Since in that circumstance I would just assume they came first into the position, and Luce's father later refused to remove his favor. But even then, the age gap is very small (just one year, if I recall correctly), so therefore the father would be aware of both at the same time for the most part.

I'm really curious about that dynamic.

In a similar vein, I'm also curious about the other RO's, but so far I don't know what to say or ask, since I know way too little about them to make any sort of idea in my head. It probably doesn't help that we don't have the appearance description of either of them (as far as I remember, I apologize if I'm wrong).

I understand if you cannot, or don't want to, say why Luce is not the heir if they belong to the family and their father is in charge (this is what I understood, maybe I'm wrong and all of this ask is nonsense). But I wanted to give my two cents. It'll be very funny if every theory of mine is wrong.

Also, while I wanted the Hollywood IF first, I prefer for you to write the one you want to first instead. And the Mafia is interesting too, so I wouldn't complain either way.

Yes it’s EC

So there is a reason why Luce was passed over and all I can say is that it’s not because Antonio (Luce’s dad) and Maria (Luce’s mom) hate their child. Actually, they really love Luce. Luce could’ve been heir, they were considered after a ~certain~ event happened but then they weren’t which proved to be a controversial choice as Lazlo isn’t Italian it went against a sacred rule.

Also consider if Luce is a girl or/and trans that’s also a strike against them as the Italian mafia is very patriarchal (Carmen was passed over for her younger brother), homophobic, transphobic and racist (there will never be slurs against minorities in the game because that’s not needed to show the prejudice and it makes me uncomfortable to write it). So yeah Luce as a cis boy had better chances but due to an incident they were also set aside,

I’ll make separate posts for the ROs descriptions. A quickie though: Dante has wavy black shaggy hair, light brown skin. Carmen has fair skin, black fabulously voluminous hair. Lazlo has red hair, freckles on pale skin. Charley has dark brown skin, keeps her hair in a braid she wraps into a bun.

Also I wrote for EC and the Hollywood IF at the same time, that one has a demo too ☺️

[karoochui]

I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

[aight-griffin]

I was talking to one of my friends about shitty battle shonen tropes, and idk if this one has a name, but I like to call it the Obligatory Romance.

A lot of you probably figured what I’m talking about just with that first image, it’s everywhere in battle shonen. The protagonist has a love interest for the whole series, but nothing romantic actually happens between them(except for one emotional scene and a fuck ton of pining), then they’re married in the epilogue. Any real romantic dynamic is never established beyond the absolute minimum, because the characters never actually get into a relationship.

The most annoying thing is that the romance is always essential to the love interest, the very core of their character and motivation, and it means jack shit for the protagonist. Sasuke is absolutely instrumental to Sakura’s motivation for all 700 chapters of Naruto, while she could reasonably be removed from the entire franchise and Sasuke’s arc would remain mostly intact.

It’s romance out of obligation, like the author put it in just to check a box. After all, someone needs to have their kids so the epilogue can set up a sequel series.

There’s a reason ships like BakuDeku and NaruSasu are popular, they include real chemistry and a level of plot importance that the actual ships simply lack. Sword Art Online is bad by lots of measurements, but Kirito and Asuna 1) have chemistry for days, and 2) fucked in episode 8.

It isn’t a make or break for me, I still really like a lot of these series, but I also think they could benefit from taking the Oda approach and just making the protagonist ace.

[macaroni-and-antifreeze]

alright gang im about to rant

tl;dr: not reading the instagram comments on big brothers instagram is self-care

so many people in the comments keep saying angela or tucker should be removed for bullying and that they should bring specifically matt or cedric back, and that they don't like t'kor and kimo anymore because of the 9/12 thing.

First off, because this one pisses me off the most, there has only been 3 documented reasons for expulsion for the game (im sure there are more that we just havent seen), those being

Physical altercation (Justin in BB2, Willie in BB14)

Discriminatory language [mostly racism] (Luke in BB25)

Interference with Production (Chima in BB11, arguably Scott from BB4 but I haven't really dived into that season)

Calling someone a brat is, shocker, NOT ANY OF THESE THREE THINGS!!!

Being a Boston asshole is, while deeply annoying, NOT GROUNDS FOR EXPULSION!!!!

And okay, I understand the love for Cedric, he's a sweet guy, but he was learning as he went!!!! He didn't know shit from a fart!

And Matt??? The weird kinda-creepy cardboard of a man? I think the soccer moms wanna fuck him. That's why they're so obsessed with bringing him back.

I think modern casuals would have a fucking stroke if they watched a season like BB10. Hell, I think they might keel over and die!

Okay, on to the second point.

Why do people suddenly not like players who evict their faves and play the game according to their best interests? Like I get having a grudge for a while, I've definitely been mad at a player for a week, but to completely flip on them????

This is Derrick Levasseur's fault.

No, not really.

Well, actually...

Yknow what, yes, it is Derrick Levasseur's fault. Partially The Brigade's fault as well but they were much more entertaining so I'll give them a pass.

So many people are used to the "OoOoOh you must go with the house OoOoOh SpOoOoOkY!!! No interesting dynamics wAaAaAh!!! Do what the HoH wants or we're gonna fucking kill you!!" mindset cemented by BB16 onwards that seeing someone play their own game and not lay down and die hurts their feelings somehow??? Like this is not Do What The HoH Wants Brother. There's a reason the HoH needs fuckin contingency plans! I will save my full "Derrick Levasseur Made Big Brother Worse & I Don't Respect Him As A Person" rant for when it's not midnight, but just know that it is always there in the back of my mind.

And finally, casuals love the furniture. Problem is, sometimes you have some furniture that's taking up space and you need to get rid off it but you haven't found the time because there's more important shit to get rid of so it sits there and makes you feel worse about your house. Get rid of the damn furniture.

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 8: When We Are Together - Matty Healy Series

A/N: sooo you may have seen my poll, you may not have, but I've come to the decision to post what I have written for this series and then take a little break from it... I love this series but recently have been feeling a bit stuck with it, I have so many ideas but I'm sure where they fit and whether there even is an end to this story. My goal is to eventually finish it so don't worry! I hope you guys are okay with that. The support has been amazing so thank you all so much.

In other news (for my Ross girlies) I will be posting the first chapter to my new series, entitled Pressure, very soon!

Warnings: bit long, probably spelling mistakes

Series Masterlist

Part 7

Lou's phone ringing on her bedside table is what stirs her from her peaceful slumber. The dozing man next to her awakens with a groan as she awkwardly untangles her limbs from him, apologising for the loud interference as she removes herself from the bed. His soft features find hers and he smiles before his eyes are drifting shut once more. She quickly throws on his shirt which rests on the ground amongst the rest of their clothes.

She stubs her toe on the bedside table as she grabs her phone, the name "Rose" lights up her screen, a picture of her and the drummer of her band can be seen.

"Fuck" she says attempting to shake of the pain, Matty mumbles a "you alright love?" His face now buried in his pillow.

"Yeah go back to sleep" she says, answering the phone, covering up the speaker until she's on their balcony. The morning breeze is far too cold and considering she's just wearing Matty's Tshirt, she'd be surprised if she didn't get frostbite.

"Lou, are you there?" She hears her friend say.

"Yes I'm here sorry" she looks at her phone seeing the clock said 5am, she puts the phone back to her ear 

"Rose I love you but it's 5 in the morning, what time is it there?" She asks, not keeping a track of what time it is in her home town like she usually would.

"That doesn't matter, what matters is that I've just seen pictures of you and Matty holding hands and cuddling. Last time we spoke you said you're seeing how things go" she explains. Shit  they did get caught she thinks , it's fine Matty said we will deal with the consequences together.

"That's exactly what I'm doing, Rose. Seeing how things go, I'm not filtering myself for anyone, I'll do what I want and that's exactly what Im doing" she explains. Rose chuckles on the other end of the line, Lou's words perfectly described herself, never one to filter herself for the sake of others.

"We respect that, you know we do. One of the things we love most about you... We're just worried you're going to get hurt" Rose explains, Rose was one of the most genuine people she had ever met, she was similar to Hann in the fact she would say it how it is although perhaps a little more carelessly and sometimes brutally than Hann.

"We? So you've spoken to Mia and Cami too... Great'' she says, eyes rolling. Mia was the band's bassist (and her sister) and Cami was their lead guitarist.

"I mean... Mia is blindly happy for you, you know what she's like" Rose says.

Mia is around 5 years younger than Lou (having joined the band reasonably late, a fact that Ross and Lou had jokingly argued about as the band didn't have a bassist for a while), they had always been close but one thing they loved about their relationship was they weren't dependent on each other. Despite spending all her time with the 1975 in her childhood, only George had met her band members, they weren't very interested in becoming friends with them, far too happy in doing their own thing.

Mia lived in London for almost all of their childhood, they'd only see each other during holidays or special occasions, something about that dynamic made them closer (which most people found odd). Mia had played bass since she was around 8 and she had joined the band 5 years after they got famous.

"I love her... She's my sister and all but she'd be happy if I found a penny on the floor" Lou says making Rose chuckle, knowing it was true. Despite having different Mum's, their families always encouraged the sisters to appreciate life intricacies, the small things.

"We're just looking out for you L" she says, the nickname only her band members gave her. She remembers the first time George visited the band on tour during one of the 75s breaks, he practically cringed at the nickname, she was and always would be his "Lou" and the fact others had different nicknames for her didn't sit too well at first.

"I know" she says, knowing they never did anything with less than pure intentions. "but listen... We're a family here, if anything happens they'll protect me" she says, not that she needed protecting. Rose finds her heart sinking slightly at her friend's words, as if their own band weren't a family. But she saw the way Lou was with the 75, how undoubtedly happy she was and she knew to push the selfish thought down.

"You seem really happy" Rose finally says and Lou smiles at that.

"I am..." She can't help but smile widely. She could easily go on to tell Rose how she's having the time of her life, how she's never felt this happy, how something feels different with the guys (something she has been struggling to explain), how Matty makes her feel seen and loved (something no guy has come close to before). But she doesn't, wanting it to be her secret for now.

"I'm also really fucking cold right now" she laughs, goosebumps rising to her skin as the wind makes Matty's shirt blow around her.

"Why?" Rose is laughing at her then.

"I'm on a balcony"

"why?" She's asking again, the two of them laughing.

"Matty's asleep... Like I said it's 5am" she says and she hears her friend sigh on the other end of the line, a happy sigh.

"Matty aye? Sharing a room are you?"

"Shut up" she chuckles. Her voice lowers and she whispers her next words "he told me he loved me Rose".

"Wow. That's big" she says and Lou's nodding even though Rose can't see her.

"Do you love him?" Rose asks, already suspecting the answer.

"Yeah"

"Well shit... Guess we're coming to the next show then. Got to see what Matthew Healy is like nowadays. Can't be the same old Ratty you used to kick about with" she says making Lou laugh loudly.

"I miss you guys" she says, the 1975 were her family, everything was intense. But with her own band she had fun (not that she didn't with the boys) but it was different.

"Is George still as fit as the good old days?" She asks and Lou can't help but laugh again.

"Pack it in, you know he's in a happy, healthy relationship" Lou explains.

"Too bad, don't know how you didn't jump his bones every time you were with him"

"Ew... Just ew. He's like my brother"

"And that Ross.... Damn. And I hear hanns going to be a daddy? That's hot."

"Okay Rose I'm hanging up now" Lou says and with two I love yous, she's slipping back into their room, seeing Matty awake and scrolling through his phone, smiling down at the screen.

"You know we look quite cute in these pictures" he says, eyes meeting hers. She's quick to jump on the bed, chin hooking onto his shoulder to peek at his screen. They did look cute and more importantly they looked happy. She smiles as Matty screenshots the photos.

"Deal with the consequences together, yeah?" Matty says, Lou nods at him, smiling as his lips press against hers.

"The first of which will be a very angry Jamie... And probably Gregg too" she says, Matty scrunching up his nose in agreement.

"Yeah...." His voice trails off making her giggle.

"I don't care... I'm happy"

"Me too love" he says, another kiss being delivered to her mouth.

"Rose called, think her and the girls want to come to the next show" she explains and Matty nods, typing something on his phone to Jamie, asking him to sort out their travel and to save them three tickets.

"Thank you" she says.

"If I remember correctly... They don't like me all that much do they?" He says and she's the one furrowing her nose at him, shaking her head.

"Guess I'll have to prove them wrong" and she almost dies at those words, lips harshly pressing against his. He groans as he pushes against her, her back hitting the bed.

"You're insatiable" he says, making her nod as her hands pull him in by the hips, forcing them to come into contact with hers in a sharp grind. She quickly finds him hard and resting against his abdomen and it doesn't take long before he's inside her.

"Jesus Christ" he groans, throwing his head back as her hands interweave into his curls. He's never going to get used to this.

----------------------------------------------------------

"You're supposed to tell me shit like this before you just decide to do it" Jamie says, his voice raised slightly, not shouting but firm and pointed.

Matty was standing in the centre of the room. George, Hann, Ross, John, and Jamie were all watching from the opposite side of the room, each of their arms crossed, ready to defend the pair if they needed to.

Carly (who had arrived this morning) and Polly were seated next to Lou on a large leather sofa.

"Come on man! It's not that big of a deal, we were holding hands, not making out" Matty says and Lou can't help but smirk.

"You know we have rules" Jamie says, making Matty (and all the boys scoff)

"I mean he's done worse" George says and Jamie whips around to see him, his finger pointing at the large man. Lou can't help but chuckle.

"Don't you start" and then he's turning to her now and her smile drops "and you"

"How am I supposed to explain this to your manager huh? How are we supposed to explain this to the fans?" Jamie asks. He was never really one to worry about these kinds of things, things were usually very chilled with him, it was one of the reasons the guys loved having him as their manager.

"Is it really that big of a deal?" Lou asks, Matty's eyes find hers and soften.

"Jamie listen" Lou says and the boy's manager finds her eyes and then soften, he had grown to have a soft spot for her "ignore Matty for a second" she says making everyone including the curly haired man laugh.

"When have I ever done anything problematic?" She asks and Jamie can't think of a single time, she was a saint (in the eyes of their fans anyway, Matty knew what she was truly like behind closed doors).

"We will do whatever you and Gregg want us to do... We just got caught up in the moment, okay?" Lou says and Jamie smiles at that, appreciating her words.

"You know what... Do whatever... We will deal with it" Jamie then says, almost completely giving in. The whole group smiled at that, the spirits lifted almost immediately. He goes to leave the room, turning back at the last minute.

"You're both serious about this right? This isn't some fuck around?" Jamie asks, already knowing the answer but wanting to confirm. They both share a look before looking at him again. They nod and he smiles.

"Well... Good" he says before leaving.

George hugs Matty as Lou is hugged by both Carly and Polly. She hadn't gotten much time to spend with the girls so when Matty's eyes found hers, although he wants nothing more than to spend time with her, he lets her have her own time with them.

"Look at you, you're glowing" Lou says, smiling at her friend. Carly smiles back at her thinking the same thing about Lou.

"How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?" Her words are rushed and Carly laughs, as does Poly.

"Lou calm down, I'm fine. Thank you though" she says sweetly. They continue talking and at some point Poly leaves them and soon after Hann joins, hooking a protective arm around his wife as his other hand toys with his wedding band. Lou always cries at the sight, feeling awfully sentimental today.

The couple stare at each other for a few seconds, smiles resting on their lips before they're both turning to look at her.

"Why are you both looking at me like that?" Lou asks, making them laugh.

"We've been meaning to ask you something" Adam says, words quiet so only the three of them could hear.

"We were wondering," Carly says, looking at her husband before looking at Lou again.

"When the baby is born... If you'd be godmother" Carly says and as skin as the words come out, tears are springing to Lou's eyes.

"Wh-what?" She stutters, completely unsure why they'd ask her of all people, she appreciates it nonetheless but is very confused.

"Truth is we wouldn't even be married if it wasn't for you" Adam says.

"That's not true" Lou says and Carly raises her eyebrows at her.

"Regardless... You've always been so welcoming of me, and so so supportive. And whenever I'm here, you're always the first to check up on me and the baby" Carly speaks, hands resting over her bunk as Adam nods next to her.

"You don't have to say yes. We'd just love it if you did.  You know what you mean to us" Hann says and Lou is pulling them both into a tight hug, careful of the bump resting between them.

"I'd be honoured"

----------------------------------------------------------

The next evening Lou is pacing backstage at another venue, anxiously awaiting the arrival of her band of which included her baby sister (definitely not a baby but oh well). They had planned something special for this show, seeing as her bandmates were going to be there, the boys asked her to sing a song on her own, any song she liked.

"Lou you're making me anxious, stop pacing" George says, leisurely chilling on one of the sofas, Matty sitting next to him, a smirk resting on his face.

"Why are you smirking?" She quips at the man, who's curls have been tamed by an obscene amount of hair gel.

"Like seeing you like this, it's cute" he says, pulling her into his lap as she walks past them, stopping her pacing altogether.

"That's better" Matty says, making Lou giggle as he swarms her neck with light pecks.

"Absolutely disgusting" George says, standing to leave the pair of them.

"He's just jealous," Lou says, making Matty nod.

"Why are you anxious darling?" Matty says, nudging his nose lightly against hers.

"I haven't seen them in a while, I've missed them like crazy and I'm just.... I'm worried they're going to see what I'm like with you guys... And like hate me or something" Lou admits.

"You're crazy" Matty says, laughing at her "I don't know how many times I have to tell you love, but no one could hate you" he says, his words so simple but completely easing her thoughts.

"I love you" she says freely now, the man smiles widely down at her, pressing his mouth to hers sweetly.

"I love you more"

They hear a door open behind them, Lou jumping from her place in his lap, turning around to see three women standing in the hallway with Jamie. One of which runs towards her, screaming loudly, she jumps and Lou catches her as she laughs.

"Oh my god Mia you're not a child, I can't carry you anymore" Lou says, struggling to hold her sister up.

"I have fucking missed you bro" Mia says as she's placed back down, punching her older sister in the arm.

"Ouch" Lou says, all of the boys watch with their mouths open. Lou was talking to someone who looked almost identical to her, although her sister's hair was much lighter than hers and shorter too, her skin slightly paler, far less tattoos covering her body.

Rose and Cami are pulling her into a tight hug next, the four of them nattering like a bunch of mothers waiting to pick up their kids.

"Oh shit. Sorry" Lou turns to the guys who are still watching, mouth agape at the four of them. George is quick to stand up, pulling them all into hugs, muttering "long them no sees" to each of them.

"Of course you know George..." Lou says as she begins to introduce the guys. Every single one of them fawns over the man, making her roll her eyes, pointing her fingers at them, telling them to stop which makes George laugh. He knew they did it on purpose, to get under Lou's skin but he can't help but let it get to his ego too.

George wraps up Mia in a hug "how's my favourite sister doing?" He asks just to annoy Lou.

"Ha ha very funny" Lou says, pushing her best friend lightly as he wraps his arm around her too.

"This is Ross, Adam but we call him Hann, Carly: Adam's wife and mother of his unborn child" she says pointing to each of them, making everyone laugh at her words about Carly. She doesn't mention that she's going to be the child's godmother, wanting to savour that fact for a while.

"Penny, Jamie, John and... Matty" she's smiling at them and all the girls smile at everyone introduced, waving at them. The girls can't help but notice how Matty stares at her, his eyes set on no one else but her, a huge smile resting on his mouth. One look and they could see he was smitten.

"This is Rose our drummer, Cami our lead guitarist and my little sister Mia, who's our bassist" she smiles as she speaks, hooking her arm around Mia at the last instance.

"How did I not know you had a sister?" It's Matty who's speaking, almost all of the girls scowling at him, apart from Mia. He shares a look with the other guys, all of them shrugging, all of them knew she had a sister (although only George had met her) , how the fact had escaped the attention of Matty they did not know. He feels awful that he doesn't know, and wonders why he hadn't told her.

"Don't talk about me then sis? Oh how you wound me" her sister says, making her laugh and nudge her.

"Na, just kidding, it's all good. I lived in London, same dad, different mum" Mia explains, coming to pull Matty into a hug to properly introduce herself. Lou stands there watching them, finger in-between teeth as she watches how Matty freezes up awkwardly, the scene makes her chuckle.

"Mia stop being weird" she says, pulling her sister back from Matty.

The rest of them talk then, the girls talking to various people at scattered times. Mia stands with Matty and Lou, catching up about all sorts of things. Rose and Cami talk to Ross, Hann and Carly.

"Who's the one with the bun again?" Mia asks and Lou rolls her eyes as Matty smirks, knowing exactly why she's asking.

"That would be Ross, OUR bassist' ' Matty says, smirk clear on his face. His arm was wrapped tightly around Lou's waist, holding him to her. Mia thought they looked cute together and she couldn't help but smile at the huge smile resting on her older sister's face. She had never seen her this happy before.

"That's Ross?!" Mia almost shouts, catching the attention of the tall bearded man.

"Shut up" Lou says, Mia and her share a look, confusing Matty slightly. Mia was one of the only people that knew Lou and Ross shared a kiss when they were teenagers for they told each other everything.

"He's gotten a lot fitter than when you knocked about with them" Mia says, her London accent a lot more prominent as she speaks.

"You need to stop" Lou says, Matty and her laughing at the slightly smaller girl. Matty's eyes flick between them, eyebrows raising.

"Sorry I can't get over how similar you look, you seriously have different mum's? " Matty says, making them both groan.

"Oh god don't say that"  they say in unison, Matty holds his hands up in surrender at the daggers they shoot.

"Forget I mentioned it" he's being pulled away by someone else then. Leaving the two sisters alone.

"I mean... I like him" Mia says, grasping her sister by the shoulders. Rose joins their conversation.

"That's because you didn't see how completely unbearable he was when we were kids" Rose says, beer in hand that Lou is completely unsure how she got.

"Alright Rose we get it. Give the poor guy a chance, people change" Cami speaks and Lou is thankful to her.

"So tell us, are the rumours true?" Rose then asks.

"What rumours?" Lou asks, eyebrows furrowing at her bandmate.

"The rumours when we were kids.... That he's a good shag" rose says, always one to be forefront with her questions, something which often got them into trouble.

"You know what, you carry on mingling, I need a fag" Lou chuckles before finding her way out of one of the side doors, she hears them all laughing behind her.

The cigarette quickly finds its place in-between her lips, lighter sparking, the end burning as she breathes it in. She hears the door open and then shut behind her but she doesn't turn. She doesn't need to, she can smell two familiar scents: one of the man she loved and one of her life long best friend.

There's a silence for a few seconds as they light their own cigarettes, Matty's arm hooking around her waist when he sees her shiver.

"Sorry Lou but your sister is fitter than the last time I saw her" George says, making her cringe and making Matty chuckle.

"Ew. Just ew. And you have a girlfriend" Lou says simply, she doesn't miss how Matty leans in whispering a "you're fitter" into her ear. It's kind of a weird compliment, she never once compared herself to her sister, but she can't deny the way his words make her thighs tighten. She suppose it's because he's the one saying it and she's the one he wants when there's plenty of other beautiful girls, including the ones back inside, who he could easily get.

"They seem nice" Matty then says, loud enough for them both to hear.

"They are. But they're fucking mental though. Sorry if Rose is a bitch to you, her heart is in the right place" Lou explains, talking to Matty now, ignoring her best friend.

"It's okay, I get it. I was a dick remember?" Matty asks and Lou and George nod at him, all three of them laughing at his words.

"Cami is an absolute sweetheart so you don't have to worry about anything with her... Maybe just" she turns to Matty, placing a hand on her chest "watch what you say" this makes George laugh.

"And Mia... Keep her away from Ross will you? She's small but she will break that man" Lou says, her words shocking the two men, making them laugh anyway.

"Really?" George says, raising his eyebrows "maybe he needs to be broken" and Lou is groaning at his words.

"Don't you even try George" she says, the man flicking his fag to the floor, running back inside, giggling like an absolute child.

"George!" She shouts, giving in when the door swings back. She turns back to Matty then, who is smiling widely at her. His curls have once again been tamed by an unruly amount of hair gel, she almost frowns at the fact she can't run her fingers through the strands.

"Remind me why you didn't tell me you had a sister?" He asks and she frowns at him, thinking of an answer, not really having a definite one.

"Hmmm... I dunno. Guess I never thought to tell you before... And now... Think I was too wrapped up in you to tell you" she says, feeling a bit bad that she hadn't mentioned her own sister.

"As much as I love that... Told you I wanted to know everything about you" he says and she nods.

"I know... You'll get to know her now though, she loves you already so you definitely don't have to worry about her" she seals her words with a brief kiss.

"You seem different around them" Matty admits, making her eyebrows furrow, not knowing whether the meaning behind his words was a good or bad difference.

"How?" She asks, he smooths his hands over her waist, pulling her closer as his back leans against the concrete of the wall.

"You're like the leader of their pack, they all look to you, you shine" he admits and his eyes sparkle as he speaks "like seeing you shine". She doesn't quite know what to say but opts for the truth.

"I've actually been enjoying not being the frontman for a bit... Happy to be in the background and bask in your light" she says, his heart flutters at her words.

"Oh honey..." His fingers tucking a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen, choosing to gently grip her chin instead of dropping back to his side.

"You've got your own light, even at the back... Everyone's looking at you" he says and she doesn't believe his words. She had a few of her own fans come to their gigs but the majority were there to see the boys and Matty, of course because it was their show, she was just there to help. She shakes her head at him, making him chuckle.

"Wish you could see yourself the way I see you... The way thousands of people see you. Trust me darling... You shine" he seals his lips against hers now, not letting her utter another word. His words had some truth to them that she didn't see, the guys often found themselves watching her even on that stage, she radiated something more than any of them could give.

And Matty especially couldn't take his eyes off her, she was everything, up on that stage, in a coffee shop, amongst friends, under the covers in their room: she shined.

Their lips move passionately against each other, neither able to get enough of each other. He's pulling her as she pulls him, trying to get closer even though it wasn't possible.

Neither of them had spoken about the fact that in two days they would be at the end of the first leg of their tour. They'd been setting off on a three week break, every single person had made plans except the two of them, too wrapped up in each other to have spoken about it.

The door creaks open next to them and they hear someone cough. They pull apart, both looking to see sweet Cami standing there.

"They're calling you on stage" Lou appreciates that she makes no crude comments, and doesn't groan at the sight of them.

They leave to play then, the crowd like no other tonight. She doesn't know if it's because she has her bandmates and her sister here or maybe because things are going so well with Matty, but the smile on her face never leaves. They play song after song, each one better than the last and when the second half rolls round and Matty introduces them, he surprises her.

"So we have two more shows after this one... And then we're on a three week break" he mentions it now and suddenly it dawns on her.

" I haven't made any plans... I've been a little distracted..." He says, looking over to her, making the crowd go mental "the truth is I've been having the time of my life with someone truly truly amazing and I'm the happiest I've ever been" he says. She thinks that his words are good enough for her for now, that's all the fans really need to know.

"This tour... We had someone amazing join us... I wasn't overjoyed at first, everyone on this stage right now would tell you that... Including her, especially her" he says and they all chuckle to themselves, Lou's eyes never wavering from his.

"But my god... George" he says turning around to face his best mate "thank you" he says, hands flat against each other, raising them to his chin as he tilts his head.

"Thank you to these boys right here" he says, pointing to Hann, George and then Ross "for making the best decision ever and bringing this wonderful person on tour with us" Matty says, finally pointing to her. Some fans may think he's just being sentimental, thanking her for joining them this far. Some will know the true meaning to his words, all but confirming what they were.

"Our wonderful Lou, would you come here for a second please?" He asks, and exactly as they planned she walks over to him, smiling as he pulls her into a tight hug before they pull back, his hand resting on her shoulder.

"Now you've got an absolute treat tonight" Matty says and someone passes her, her acoustic guitar. Matty moves from his stool and lets her sit there.

"The amazing Lou everyone" he says before he's leaving, everyone leaves the stage then, joining the girls backstage and watching from the sidelines.

"God this is daunting" she says into the microphone, making the crowd laugh "Yeah I know this is my job but I haven't been up here on my own for a hot minute" they laugh again.

She's shining again Matty thinks, god he loved how she shines.

"Boys please come back" she says, everyone laughing again.

"Okay okay" she says, shaking her nerves off as she begins checking if the guitar is in tune.

"I need to say a couple of things before I start, unplanned I know" she says, saying her last words to the guys on the side of the stage.

"Can't let Matty say all that without me saying anything" she laughs and she sees him smile at her.

"My band is here tonight" the crowd screams "my little sister"

"And I can't remember a time where I felt as happy as I do now. We're a family here at the 1975... I know that more than anything else" she says her words making the boy's eyes fill with tears.

"I guess I just want to say thank you to the whole team... And to my four boys, you know I'm not the best with words so I've been wanting to do something to show you guys how much you mean to me instead. So I thought I'd sing you a beautiful song. One which you wrote. This is for you" she says, beginning to play the beginning chords to "When We Are Together".

She plays a stripped back version of the song, somehow making it more sentimental, the boys find themselves hugging each other backstage.

Matty stares at her intently as she sings, the voice he loves so much filling the entire arena, he's in awe that the entire audience is silent, simply listening to her sing.

"You ask about the cows, wearin' my sweater

It's somethin' 'bout the weather that makes them lie down

The only time I feel I might get better is when we are together" she sings, her voice soft and sweet, undeniably beautiful.

She sings the song to the end, only then looking up at the audience. Her own eyes glisten with tears that are yet to fall but they do when she sees everyone holding up their phone, a few people crying their own tears. The boys are quick to join her on stage, hugging her tightly in a group hug before they return to their places on the stage.

"I love you" Matty mouths to her making her smile and mouth an "I love you too" back. Neither caring that thousands of people were watching them.

----------------------------------------------------------

George somehow ropes them all into a night out. Explaining that they hadn't had one yet despite being nearly at the end of their first leg. It was a rare occurrence for the band not to have had one, but they had all agreed that until they were all settled they wouldn't have a crazy night out.

But as the first leg was coming to an end, they had all agreed it was much needed and well deserved. Plus, the addition of Lou's bandmates had them all in high spirits.

"Got to give the newbies a proper 75 welcome" Ross says, wrapping an arm around Lou, pulling her into his side.

"Hey I'm not a newbie anymore" she argues back, jokingly shoving the man above her, shrugging away from his grip.

"But you haven't been out with us losers since we were teenagers" he quips back and she can't argue with that.

So they all rushed back to their hotel, the girls taking up Lou's room which was yet to be touched. Matty frowns as she disappears between the doors, leaving him to get ready on his own. Lou quickly showers, slicks back her hair into a high pony and applies some make up, not too much on her face but a dark eye, before joining the girls back in her room, wrapped up in a white robe.

"Feel like seeing how much that man has the hots for you?" Cami says, making Lou laugh as she searches through her suitcase. The girls seemed to have come prepared, suspecting that a night out would be on the agenda.

"We're not going anywhere fancy Cami, George knows some dj at this club and they've got us a booth" she explains, failing to mention that it was in the VIP section, something she didn't like to brag about. Cami holds up a silk dress with a deep v and a high slit, Lou shakes her head "too fancy".

Cami mutters an "okay okay" before she proceeds to throw more things from her suitcase, a mischievous look on her face as she puts together a few items.

One of which is a skirt that is far too short even for Lou, she had thrown all sorts of items in there, some of which she hadn't worn in ages.

"Cami that skirt it so fucking short" Lou says, unsure about it, and the slit that revealed half her thigh. Cami proceeds to throw the skirt at her, along with a deep v lace bodysuit and a cropped blazer.

"Just try it on" she says, the other girls nodding. Lou sighs deeply.

"Don't encourage her" she says, pointing to the other girls.

She makes her way to the en-suite bathroom, removing her robe before putting on the assortment of clothes Cami had selected. She finds herself smirking at her reflection, her ego was far from big but she knew that one look from Matty and he'd be on his knees.

She makes her way back into the room, her bandmates gasping at her.

"That's it. That's the one. I'm a genius" Cami says, placing a kiss on each of her cheeks.

"I'd do you" Rose says, making them all laugh, her fingertips pluck the "M" necklace that rests against the centre of her chest, just falling in-between her boobs. Rose smiles and lifts an eyebrow.

"Can't lie... That's undeniably cute" she says and Lou smiles.

"I know I give him shit... And I will continue to until I see fit" rose says making Lou laugh "but it's obvious he's madly in love with you... And you seem really happy" she says and Lou nods at her.

"I am... I don't even remember what it was like before... I hated him because I thought he hated me... As soon as I found out he didn't, everything kind of just fell in to place" Lou explains, mia standing up to hug her sister.

The other girls get ready after that, Lou helping them do their hair and make up, hearing the guys laughing from outside.

Rose wears a simple black dress that sits tightly on her body, Cami settles for a black pair of skinny jeans and a lace bralette, whilst Mia adorns leather trousers and black one shoulder bodysuit.

"You guys are going to give them heart attacks," Lou says, making all the girls laugh.

They then make their way into the main room, Lou the last to leave, before she does she hears George say "Was wondering why you took so long but now I understand. Look lovely girls" he says, his words fairly tame in comparison to what she'd thought he'd say.

"Where's the woman of the hour?" He jokes before she steps into the threshold. Her eyes find Mattys almost instantly and she can't help but smirk at him.

He was sitting on one of the sofas, legs spread wide almost as if he's ready for her to take her place in them. He shoots up as soon as he sees her, tugging at the shirt that rests almost uncomfortably around his neck now.

He's dressed in black suit trousers, a plain white T Shirt tucked in with a black shirt thrown over the top, the buttons almost all undone except two at the bottom, the shirt is sheer and she holds back moan as she sees him. His hair isn't tamed by gel now, unruly curls sat atop his head, ready to be tugged.

"Damnnn" George says, hand reaching for hers and getting his best friend to do a twirl, which makes her laugh. She didn't notice Matty coming over to her but she sure as hell notices the look he gives George, one in which she had never seen before.

His eyes warned his best friend to watch his mouth and George instantly stepped away, he was being territorial and she was surprised with how much she liked the feeling.

"Baby..." He practically whispers, hands coming to find her waist, gently pulling her body to his, his touch is unsure, as if he thought he wasn't deserving of it. Behind them, everyone begins talking to each other, letting the couple be.

"You look..." He swallows deeply and the sight kills her. She's glad her outfit had the outcome she had desired but as his dark eyes find hers she finds herself lost for words. Her eyebrows raise up at him, begging him to finish his sentence.

"Devine..." He says, as if she's a meal to devour. She couldn't care in the slightest, she loved how he much he wanted her and how little he tried to hide it.

"Hmm" she says, hands flat against his chest, she doesn't even beginning to describe how good he looks before George is interrupting them.

"We should probably leave before these two start fucking" George says, making everyone chuckle.

The club is loud and George disappears the minute they arrive, talking to the DJ of the night who lets George take rein of the music for a bit. The others find themselves at their booth, drinks already waiting for them.

Matty's hand is firmly clasped on her thigh as his other arm hooks around the back of her. His hand comes to fit at the back of her neck and she finds herself loving the feel of it. His grasp wasn't too tight but wasn't exactly soft and she has to stop herself from pressing her lips against his.

Ross is sat opposite them talking to Mia, her hand rests on his knee as they talk over the loud music. Cami and Rose are already on the dance floor, laughing with each other as they danced and drank.

He leans into speak to her, having to place his mouth directly next to her ear for her to hear "saw about 6 different guys stare at you as we walked in love" he says, almost proud of the fact.

"Yeah?" She asks and he smirks.

"Don't blame them, you look fucking hot" he says, making her chuckle and lean into him.

"Bet it must feel nice knowing I'm yours huh?" She asks and his smirk falls, mouth agape for a beat before his lips find hers for a firm peck.

"You're not mine yet love, not really. You could go over to any one of them right now and do what you wanted" he speaks and she smiles at him, shaking her head at his words. His words which were just to test her. He wanted nothing more than for her to say his words weren't true.

"Its shame for them then isn't it?" She says making his eyebrows furrow, not knowing what she meant.

"Shame I want you and not them" she says, standing from the booth, hand finding his as she stands.

"Besides" she says, leaning down to him until her mouth grazes his ear, making him shiver "if I'm not yours... you should do something about that" she says before looking at Mia.

"Want to dance?" She asks and Mia smiles widely, standing almost instantly. Lou notices the clear frown on Ross' lips and she smiles, raising her eyebrows at the bearded man.

The two girls quickly make their way to the dance floor positioning themselves so they can be seen by the guys (who's eyes never leave them).

Ross and Cami are quick to find them, the four of them dancing with each other, laughing and drinking.

Lou feels a tap to her shoulder so she turns, looking up at a guy who she doesn't recognise, a 6 ft something guy who, if she wasnt completely smitten with Matty she would find attractive, he had curls too but they weren't the same as Matty's, he looks sweet, a we'll put together man who no doubt has a large sum to his name. She stands there awkwardly waiting for the man to speak.

"Sorry I saw you across the room and just had to say hi" he speaks the cliche line and she chuckles.

"Does that line usually work for you?" She shouts over the loud song that's playing, the girls behind her laughing.

"I don't know, it's the first time I'm using it, you tell me" he says smoothly and Lou chuckles again.

"Ah come on Lou, let him buy you a drink" Rose says and she knows she just wants to see Matty's reaction.

"Lou? Is that your name? A pretty name for a pretty girl" he says and she can't help but cringe a little.

"I'm actually here with-" she begins to say she's here with someone but is interrupted by rose again.

"No she's not, she's just being modest, buy her a drink, a martini" she says and Lou chuckles as they man smiles before leaving.

"I hate martinis" Lou says and rose smirks.

"I know, but I love them" she says leaning in to speak into her ear "turn around, it worked" rose says.

Lou turns and is suddenly flushed against Matty's chest, she stumbles but his hand quickly finds her waist, holding her against him.

"Hi" she smiles.

"Hi" he smiles back, looking down at her. His eyes flick to the bar where he sees the guy he was all but ready to pounce on if he made a single move. Lou turns her head to see who he's looking at and she smiles upon turnjng around to face him again.

Her hands rest against his shoulders as a slow beat plays, she steps towards him so they're closer.

"You don't have to worry about him" she whispers into his ear. His hands grip her hips as she begins to move against him.

"Hmm why's that?" He mumbles into her ear, lips finding their way to her neck.

"Think you already know Matty" she says, pulling back to look at him. Her eyes plead with him, begging him to just kiss her already.

"Because you're mine yeah?" He shouts smiling down at her. She simply nods and his eyes leave her for a second, flicking to someone behind her again.

"Sorry mate" he speaks to whoever is behind her, probably the guy from a minute ago, but Lou's eyes are training on the curly man holding her "she's my missus" the words leave his mouth before he even processes them.

She hears a grumble behind her and then Matty's eyes are on hers again.

"Your missus huh? Like the sound of that" she pulls his mouth to hers then, lips pressing against one another with fervour. Him using that word so casually awakens something in her (and seemingly him too).

He tries to speak through their kiss, eventually having to break away.

"Be my girlfriend? Like proper girlfriend" he asks, it was not the way he had intended on asking her but he was desperate now, not wanting to go another minute without asking her.

"Wanted to ask you in a better setting than this love but-" her lips are on his again, shutting him up. She goes to say yes but suddenly a lanky man is pulling the pair into a tight hug.

"Fucking love you guys" George says, making the two of them laugh loudly.

"How much have you had to drink?" She laughs and he smears a kiss to her cheek before doing the same to Matty.

"Question is... Why haven't you?" His words make no sense but they allow him to pull them back to the booth and allow him to make the whole group (save for Matty) do a few shots. Lou doesn't drink as much as the rest of the group, wanting to support Matty but also wanting to remember the night, for it was already an amazing one.

As the night progresses, Ross and Mia are dancing together, her hands flat against his chest as their bodies moved against one another.

Matty and Lou were flush against the wall in the corner of the room, hiding from everyone else, needing some time to be alone.

"You never answered my question" he says as his head tucks into her neck, lips pressing against the skin.

"Kind of got interrupted" she sighs, hands threading through the curls at the nape of his neck.

"Yeah George keeps fucking doing that tonight" He pulls back to look at her and she smiles.

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" she says and he mirrors her, wide smiles adorning both of their faces.

"Yeah? Don't care that I asked you in the middle of some sweaty club" he asks and she shakes her head.

"No, because it's you. I'd of said yes no matter what Matty" and the confession has him blushing deeply, pulling her into him to place a loving kiss to her mouth.

"Didn't get to finish what you were saying to me earlier either... Some best friend g is" Matty says, needing to hear what she wanted to say.

"Yeah... Was going to say how good you looked" she says, smoothing her hands down his white Tshirt, fingertips pulling the shirt that rests either side of his frame, until their mouths meet again.

They break away a few moments later and his eyes wander to the centre of the dancefloor where Ross and Mia can be seen.

"Told George to keep her away from that man, she'll break his heart" Lou groans eyes finding where Matty was looking and he laughs at her words.

"You know I know about that night right" Matty says as his eyes snap back to hers, looking down at her as she frowns up at him, not knowing what she was talking about.

"What happened between you and Ross" Matty says, a smirk resting against his lips as Lou's mouth falls open.

"What- how?" She asks, mouth agape, lost for words.

"He's my best friend love, told me as soon as he knew I had feelings for you" he says, thumb drifting along her cheek.

"And? What do you think about it?" She asks, searching his face for any signs of him being annoyed at her.

"Well that depends..." He asks, a darkness to his words, lips pressing against hers, confusing her.

"Depends on what?" She murmurs against his mouth, pulling at his shirt, needing him closer to her.

"What was it like?" He asks, pressing his mouth to hers the moment he finished talking.

"Want the truth?" She asks and he nods against her mouth as his tongue finds hers. She allows them to fight for a moment until she lets his push harshly against hers, making her core flutter and letting him lead the kiss.

She pulls away from him for a second, dark eyes finding his and she smirks.

"It was hot... At the time" she says and she smirks down at her.

"Ross said the same thing" he says and Lou's eyebrows raise.

"Yeah?" Mattys hand drifts along her waist, landing against her hip, pulling her flush against him, moving their bodies to the beat of the music. Her arm hooks over his shoulder, clinging onto him as his hips ground down against hers.

He nods down at her and she finds herself confused as to why he's smirking still.

"If he told you that... Why are you smirking?" She asks, moaning into his mouth as his lips press against hers again.

"Because... It was a childhood makeout, doesn't mean anything... Fizzled out anyway" Matty says, repeating what Ross had explained to him. His lips find her neck again and she sighs.

"Hmm.. what if I said otherwise?" She says, purely teasing him. His head snaps away from her neck, finding her eyes, seriousness now covering his features.

"That's just mean love" he says, and she smirks up at him now, he doesn't find it funny and she's quick to drop the act. Softly playing with his hair as anger clouds his eyes.

"Baby I'm joking" she says, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, drifting them down to his neck and up to the shell of his ear.

"Doesn't mean anything... You're the one I want. My boyfriend" her last words are what gets him to snap back to how he was moments prior. It's what makes him press his mouth back to hers and grind his hips down to hers.

"Say it again" he murmurs into her mouth.

"My boyfriend"

"Fuck" his tongue roughly presses against hers and her hold on him tightens as pleasure increases throughout her body as she feels his hardened length pressing against her core.

"Want to get out of here?" He asks as he pulls away from her. She's quickly nodding up at him making him smirk.

"Good. Can't wait to get you out of this fucking skirt" he says, hand running along the hem of it, caressing her thigh. They quickly weave themselves out of the club, leaving their friends, leaving Lou's sister who is likely still with Ross.

----------------------------------------------------------

Their naked bodies are sprawled out on the bed of their hotel room, Matty is lying on his front as Lou is at his side. Her fingers drift along the expanse of his back, the muscles contracting under her touch before she presses light kisses to the skin.

"We have a break in two days" he says, his voice quiet, looking over his shoulder to find his girlfriend, who's arms were resting against his back.

"Want to spend it with you" Matty says, turning onto his back, she allows him and then lies back down onto his stomach now.

"Id like that" she smiles, pressing a kiss against his stomach.

"Think we should go away for a bit... Just us" he says and she nods again.

"Need to go home too though, need to see my family... And G's" she says and Matty nods.

"My mum's been wanting to see you again. Hasnt seen you since we were kids" he says. A man of many confessions tonight it seems

"Id love that. She always loved me" she says and Matty nods.

"Yeah I know... Used to give me so much shit for treating you the way I did. Said I was a cruel boy" he admits, his words holding a certain sadness to them.

"It's okay, made up for it now" she says and she smiles slightly.

"I'm so sorry"

"Baby no. You don't have to apologise anymore. I forgive you" she says, lips pressing softly against his stomach again, moving upwards until pressing against his lips.

"I know... Just needed to say it" he says and she nods.

"Can't believe you're my girlfriend" he says, hands moving her hair from her face, wanting to truly see her.

"You know... I never really said sorry for how I was to you" she admits and he looks down at her.

"You weren't nearly as bad as me love"

"That's not the point though... I'm sorry Matty, truly I am. Things were so different back then, it's kind of crazy" she says and he nods.

"Why did you hate me?" He asks, looking down at her, she didn't mind being asked it, they hadn't actually spoken about it yet.

"Suppose at first I hated you because you hated me... I tried to get you to like me... But after a while I gave in... Hated you because despite everything the guys said about you, about you being this lovely guy who would do anything for his mates... You weren't that person with me and I desperately wanted you to be... So I hated you because you didn't allow me to have you that way" she admits, something she had never admitted aloud before.

"I never knew that" he says, frowning at her. She knows he's about to apologise again so she presses her mouth to his.

"I often saw the way you were with them, when you thought I wasn't looking and I felt jealous... You told me the guys got to have me in a way you didn't and it was the same for me" she says.

"God we really made a mess of things didn't we?" He says, chuckling at the whole messy situation. She smiles at him and nods.

"Think we've made up for it now don't you think?" She asks and he nods, kissing her sweetly.

"My girlfriend"

"Your girlfriend" she smiles.

"Think I'm ready to make it obvious were dating" he says and she nods.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea" she says lying down on his chest and listening to his heart beat until she falls asleep.

"I love you" he murmurs although she's asleep on his arms now.

"I've always loved you" he says before he feels himself drifting to sleep too.

Part 9