#my real year in review because I posted one before the number 1 one

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 20)

Hello lovelies, and welcome back to Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics! It's been a while, and for that, I'm sorry. I've been (and still am) going through a bit of a depressive episode. November's typically a tough month for me for a couple of reasons, but it hit harder than usual this year. Still, I wanted to come back and bring you another installment of Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics, just in case anyone needs a little Sterek to get them by like I have.

Side note: I'm actually thinking of doing a some, like, "feature" posts where I rec a single fic at a time, regardless of whether or not I've already rec'd it through this series, and actually explain what I like about the fics. Give a little endorsement, if you will. As much as I love all of the fics I have recommended throughout this series, I definitely have some go-to staple fics that I re-read with far more frequency than others. I can think of at least 3 off of the top of my head right this second...

Idk. Would any of you be interested in that? I might do it no matter what, just to have something to engage my brain a bit, but I have also been nearly catatonic with brain fog and just a general exhaustion of life, so. We'll see.

Okay, enough of my yappin'!

As ever and always, thank you all so much for all of the love and support you've shown this series. It genuinely warms my heart when I get a notification for this series, and I appreciate you all so much. I hope you've all found some new favorites and/or got to dig back into an old favorite or two along the way. There won't be too many more parts, but I'm going to try to stretch this bitch out to 25 parts because it's a tasty number to my brain.

I hope you're all having a good day, if not a great one! Smoochies and squeezies, lovelies!

List and links to previous parts below the cut.

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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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The Horror of Our Love by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 1/1 | 4,941)

"I'm not wearing a muzzle," Derek snaps.

"Look, if you wear this then we're golden! There's no way you can bite through this, Deaton said so."

"Oh well, if Deaton says," Derek says snidely. It's a silly argument. Sure, Deaton is shady and enjoys bending the truth on occasion, but unless it's a complex assassination plan he wouldn't lie about this. Something that Stiles knows that Derek is aware of.

"There's really no reason for him to lie," Stiles points out. "What's your real problem with it?"

"It's demeaning," Derek says through gritted teeth.

"What? No! Lots of werewolves have to wear one of these," Stiles says, waving the muzzle around. The leather and clasps jingle.

Derek sneers at him. "Wolves who can't control themselves."

"Pot and kettle, buddy. Wait, wait," Stiles says hurriedly when Derek turns to leave, "let's just... let's try it, okay? Come on, have I steered us wrong before?"

-

In which Derek can't control himself while having sex with Stiles and needs to be muzzled.

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Burial Rituals by aurevell (G | 1/1 | 4,989)

The necromancer freezes halfway over the fence, stuttering to a halt the second Derek flashes his red eyes. It’s an awkward pose to hold: leg hiked up over the waist-high bars, hands gripping the rail for balance. The fence’s wrought-iron spears dig into his calf a bit as he settles, clearly caught off guard.

“Uh,” he says lamely, his face pale in the scant moonlight. “Shit.”

Derek guards an abandoned cemetery. Stiles is the necromancer trying to break in.

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Devoured by Hedwig221b (E | 1/1 | 5,298)

Breathless, Stiles shifted his gaze up and went red from the knowing smirk on the deific face. The man’s red eyes sparkled in the moonlight, glowing like two fires on the tips of the candles. One of his thick eyebrows was lifted in amusement.

He was the most beautiful being Stiles had ever seen. As was probably expected, considering he was the god of sexual desire.

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Satisfaction Brought It Back by Snare (E | 1/1 | 7,223)

Derek doesn't know how nobody else seems to notice the large, ever-present bulge in Stiles' jeans. He can't help but be curious about it, he just - he just wants.

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Lay Me Out by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 2/2 | 8,967)

"This is weird," Stiles tells him. His hands are still on Derek's chest. "Is this weird? Are you even sentient enough to think things are weird?"

Derek's tail wags back and forth, brushing against his calves and stirring up the fallen leaves. And the licking? It doesn't stop. Derek keeps at it, licking Stiles' cheeks, his forehead, that sensitive spot behind his ears. Stiles tries to twist away, much braver now that he hasn't been mauled, but there's no escape.

"Okay," Stiles croaks out. He pushes at Derek's shoulders, his chest. "Let me up, big guy, come on."

When Derek doesn't move, Stiles arches up, trying to wriggle free, but then he feels something wet and sticky against his stomach where his shirt has ridden up. He cranes his neck down and sees Derek's dick. It's distinctly non-human; red, with a tapered tip. Clear fluid drips from it.

"Oh holy god," he says, horrified and fascinated. "Is that - oh fuck."

-

In which Derek has sex with Stiles while in the Alpha form

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to be with those I like by sheafrotherdon (E | 1/1 | 9,323)

It's Deaton who tells Derek that Stiles is back in town, a broken marriage behind him, his daughter in tow.

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How We Got Here by Areiton (E | 1/1 | 9,718)

Maybe if you fight the creatures of the night together like they did, if you bury enough friends and strangers and enemies, you don’t lose touch.

He thinks that’s why he and Derek are friends--because Derek understands his nightmares, understands the nights when he can’t talk, and the nights he can’t stand the dark.

OR: Against all odds and expectations, Stiles and Derek have become respectable adults ( WHY?) and friends.

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Lunches, Knitting and Definitely Not Dating by attackofthezee (noxlunate), noxlunate (T | 1/1 | 10,107)

“So, I uh, managed to get myself pregnant.”

“You what?!”

“Got myself pregnant. Y’know, up the duff, knocked up, a bun in the oven, in a family way, eating for two, with child. I could go on Dad, really, stop me before I exhaust the list of pregnancy euphemisms. There’s still caught an 18 year STD, my eggo is preggo, building a person-“

“Stiles.”

“Hosting a parasite, harboring a fugitive-“

(Just a weird mpreg fic with Derek and Stiles totally kinda dating without realizing it, and Stiles figuring out this whole having a baby thing.)

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(they say) this should feel something like fire by dallisons (E | 1/1 | 11,163)

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.

"Turn it off." The pack looked up, stunned into silence by the first words they'd heard from him in weeks.

Stiles stood, trembling - his knees weak. He tried to run and collapsed, his bad leg failing him once again. Derek caught him. "Turn it off," he said, his voice unmistakably a growl.

The water continued leaking from the loose faucet, and all Stiles heard was Erica's blood against the concrete. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.

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Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of by Lissadiane (NR | 1/1 | 14,953)

It's a cold, snowy night and Stiles is halfway through his shift at the campus coffee shop when a tall, dark and handsome stranger walks in, one who seems unaware that he's being haunted by a wolf.

In which Stiles Stilinski sees the ghosts of animals with unfinished business, and Derek Hale is unaware that his dearly departed sister left a few things unfinished.

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Untouchable by Hedwig221b (E | 1/1 | 17,128)

The day Stiles Stilinski entered the Berkeley campus was the day all the alphas went absolutely fucking nuts.

See, omegas were rare, even more than redheads. Got to be extremely fucking lucky to even see one in a lifetime. They were supposed to be these ethereal creatures of beauty and elegance, irresistible and blinding.

And Stiles Stilinski was exactly that.

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Camaro '68 by ZainClaw (E | 1/1 | 17,707)

Derek huffs, arching one eyebrow. "I'm not a fugitive." "You look like a fugitive," Stiles insists, practically beaming. "Maybe you should start wearing cardigans."

In which Stiles is a hitchhiker and Derek a runaway whose paths cross at a gas station in the California desert.

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Cross a Canyon (with a broken limb) by theroguesgambit (T | 1/1 | 18,010)

“You never graduated,” Stiles says, just to say it. To test it out in the open air. That's... huh.

--

Stiles spends his senior year battling troll-gremlins, taking on an unexpected tutoring job, and definitely not falling for a certain sourwolf (even though everyone else seems to think he is).

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Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? by Renmackree (T | 9/9 | 18,399)

Scott frowned, grabbing the game case and reading it out loud.

“Become the Hero you've always wanted to be. Battle monsters, witches, dragons, and all the mythical beasts of the World of Fantasy. Play as a Human, Elf, Dwarf and other special races included in the basic game. Stiles this so stupid. Who the hell would want to play as a Werewolf?” Scott threw the game back on the bed and leaned back in the chair.

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We Only Get Better by Ninna_7 (T | 8/8 | 22,741)

Stiles doesn't call him these days. Not since he left Beacon Hills that last time. Not since Stiles left the FBI internship programme in favour of studying Forensic Psychology at NYU. Stiles has texted him a few times in the past, but he never called. Not anymore. Back then, however, whenever Derek received a call from Stiles or called Stiles in return, it was purely for survival's sake. So Derek doesn't know what to expect from this call. If he's being honest, he's scared of it.

x

Or: It's been years since Stiles and Derek last spoke, but a phone call from the human reconnects them. They have the chemistry, the history and the shared trauma. With time and each other, maybe they can have more.

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part-time soulmate, full-time problem by Renmackree (E | 1/1 | 27,111)

Stiles had seen it all in his five years of supernatural shenanigans, but never in his life would he have guessed returning to Derek's old stomping grounds in New York, especially under the guise of Derek's magical Mate.

It was going to be an exciting summer.

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The Light in the Woods series by DiscontentedWinter (5 works | G-M | 36,507)

1. The Lights in the Woods (T | 8/8 | 12,293) To honour a treaty with the people of a strange land, Derek Hale, prince of the kingdom of Triskelion, has to marry Stiles. 2. The Gift of the Trees (T | 1/1 | 4,780) Stiles is everything that Derek ever wanted... almost. 3. Moonflower (G | 1/1 | 3,331) Stiles and Derek's son finds his magic. 4. The Path of the Wolf (G | 1/1 | 5,206) Faolán has to find his own path. 5. The Heart of the Wolf (M | 4/4 | 10,897) Etienne Argent is rescued by a strange young man in the woods.

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In Any Version of Reality by alisvolatpropiis (E | 7/7 | 39,853)

Standing next to not-Derek – whoa, holding not-Derek’s hand? – is someone who looks remarkably like Stiles. Is Stiles, a slightly-altered replica, just like this guy both is and isn't Derek.

It’s not like looking into a mirror – one, because looking into a mirror actually makes some kind of sense, and two, because not-Stiles looks older too, mid twenties maybe. And the tips of his short, spiky hair are dark purple, and he’s got a lip ring and he’s shirtless and covered in tattoos and what the holy hell?

“Time travel?" He's sufficiently freaked. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hears his dad laughing.

“Not exactly,” not-Derek says, and shit, even his voice sounds exactly the same, disconcertingly gentle. He gestures behind him, and Stiles looks over his shoulder, where behind him, scattered across the porch and in the front yard, are more…Dereks and more Stileses.

Fourteen total, including the two at the door, he notes distantly, eyes feeling like they’re about to pop out of his head from bulging so hard.

Seven other Dereks. Seven other Stileses.

Seven Derek and Stiles pairs.

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The Moon Gave Me Permission by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 9/9 | 57,572)

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” Scott says, eyeing Stiles’ fries. “But Derek Hale is back in town. I saw him at the gas station the other day.”

This piques Stiles’ interest. Oh yes it does. Like any good true crime aficionado, Stiles has his favourite case. His pet cold case. His hometown murder. The thing he brings up when he’s tired of small talk and just wants to get real.

The Hale Family Fire and the suicide of Katherine Argent.

Stiles knows this case inside and out. He’s racked up thousands of karma points on reddit for his thoughtful analysis, his pictures of the crime scene, and of his reporting of local gossip. Beacon Hills is a small town, small enough that Stiles is the only one on the Unresolved Mysteries subreddit to have actually seen the burnt out shell in person.

He’ll tell anyone who listens what he finds fascinating about the case. Absolutely no shame. He’s read all of the articles, he’s pestered his father’s deputies for more information, and he’s read every cold case compilation book that so much as mentions it.

No one knows this case like Stiles does.

-

In which Derek Hale is a man with a dark past, and Stiles is completely obsessed with him.

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The Soul Knows What the Heart Wants by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (M | 9/9 | 163,779)

“Holy—shit,” Stiles breathed, Bacon stopping in what he was doing, still staring at him intently, as if begging him to understand, for someone to finally understand. Stiles felt like he’d been electrocuted and he leapt out of his chair, kneeling in front of Bacon and grabbing at his furry face. “Holy shit! Oh my God, are you—wait, holy—you’re not fucking with me, right?!”

Bacon let out two quick barks, which Stiles chose to interpret as ‘no.’

“Oh my God, are you a real person in there?!” Stiles shouted in the wolf’s face, staring him right in the eye. He was still holding the wolf’s head with both hands, but Bacon dipped his muzzle in confirmation and Stiles officially lost his mind.

“Oh my God!” he shouted again, releasing Bacon to clutch at his own hair. “Oh my God! Dude, for real?! You’re—holy shit! Holy shit!” He didn’t know how to react to this news. He had no fucking idea how to react. This was a person?! But how?! How was this a person?! People didn’t just turn into wolves!

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[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #26

The Battle of Big Wand... Spoiler-free and jumpin' in!

Season finale! I'm excited for this one!

I'm gonna give my very first prediction before moving on from the title screen: Dale is going to learn about Fairy World because he finds the notes Cosmo and Wanda left on his stuff during Dev's birthday.

I'd prefer he learn about Fairy World from Crocker because I thought leaving your enemy notes that outs you as a fairy and tells him all your secrets including the Big Wand as a power source is... out of character and cheap.

Me now realizing I've been acting under the assumption Dev scribbled the notes out very badly and Dale will find them, but I guess it's possible Dev could've erased them thoroughly and they were only there for audience benefit. That's... certainly one of the ways to info-dump ever.

For all I know, Dale might not even be in this episode, though I assume the notes were there for a reason. Also, Dale has definitely been set up as keeping tabs on Hazel and we're probably going to hit a major point of Dev's daddy issues arc.

Tentative prediction... Dev is put in a situation where he can only save either his dad or Hazel (maybe not save them, but assist them or betray the other) and he's going to return to being Hazel's friend at the expense of his relationship with his dad. Let's find out!

Here we go!!

Holy flippin' what on EARTH, Hazel has made more wishes in 1 season with a regular timestream than Timmy did in 8 seasons after freezing it for 50 years.

GIRL, ARE YOU OKAY??

Me when those numbers were counting up: Wanda stop Wanda stop Wanda stop- HAZEL?!?

What the fffliiiip...

Is she going to Wishing Well?? I feel like she might need to. I have to assume that's not the direction we're going, but... ???

Wishing Well's whole thing is that godkids get sent there if they become too reliant on wishing, so they can practice doing things for themselves. I don't think Hazel's too reliant, but I'm really caught off guard. That's a heckuva thing to drop on us with no foreshadowing whatsoever. Not long ago, she hit her 100th wish, right?

That said... I'm willing to let this slide. In "Lost and Founder's Day," Hazel happily wished for good things to come to other kids. 4.5 months later ("Operation: Birthday Takeback"), Cosmo and Wanda confirm Hazel "can" wish for other kids, and I assume she probably has been.

I would've liked to see that onscreen if that's true, though. It's not really been a thing.

- I think I understand why Dale's obsessed with Hazel losing him money by granting people happiness for the price of free now. -> Dale, you should've told me! I would've been shocked and concerned right there with you. She's robbing you blind! This whole city is robbing you blind! -> Unpopular opinion, but if Hazel has secretly made 1 million wishes by somehow not making people lose money when they buy Dimmadome products... first of all, that would be hilarious, and secondly, I think Dale would be justified in saying "hey. wtf." - No, no… please continue. I think we should definitely mess with the guy who has trauma about having no control over his life and lived 7 years being unable to get himself out of it. We should totally destroy his ability to make progress after engaging in hard work and consistent action. I wanna see where they're going with this. - what if Dale isn't the antagonist and the real antagonist is Fairy World stressed that Hazel's draining the Big Wand's power?

[cnt'd - 6,600 words below the cut, so buckle up...]

I guess a few episodes ago, Father Time also said she ruptured the space-time continuum, but...

Oh, I'm so nervous. Girl, if you're at 1 mill, all your wishes are up for review now. Timmy sends his blessings.

Please say that's where this is going. They're not gonna reference "Timmy's Secret Wish" multiple times this season and then NOT follow that episode's canon for "standard procedure at 1 million wishes," right?

I'm stunned and wary, but let's see where we're going with this.

??? Okay, but... I'm pretty sure the only time Hazel truly wished for other people's benefit without including herself in an "unlimited pudding for everyone because Dev is hoarding it all and me and my friends want some" way was during "Lost and Founder's Day." She made wishes for random folks she walked past to have a more enjoyable time when she saw Dale's O-pairs trying to upsell them. It really ticked Dale off, and if he's been stalking her for 5 months...

... then I HAVE to assume that when she's not onscreen, Hazel's still wishing for other people in a way that either cuts into Dimmadome profits directly or stops Dale from upselling in a way that upsets him. Even the O-pairs were having mental breakdowns and beating themselves up about their failures, which just says a million things about the guy who programmed them... presumably Dale.

If she's made 1 million wishes when Timmy required 52 years to hit that number AND Dale became obsessed with stalking her and trying to figure out what she was doing, she's almost certainly wishing for the people around her- It's not like we've seen her with a closet of toys or having a montage of travel adventures. I don't think she's even left Dimmadelphia except to go to Fairy World.

She's 100% wishing up Dimmadome products in bulk without them paying for it. Or at the very least, she's doing something that is wrecking the Dimmadome business, and Dale is really confused and annoyed about it.

I went back to "Operation: Birthday Takeback" and Wanda outright says Hazel is wishing for other people and that led them to stop buying things. So... not necessarily wishing up Dimmadome products, but definitely distracting people from wanting to purchase Dimmadome stuff.

^ Dale tracking his profits, 100% aware this massive crash correlates with Hazel messing around. He's very confused. I don't support grown men stalking little girls, but I respect how hard he's working to keep his business thriving. Look at his notes!! He's working so hard!

Like ?? As far as we know, Dale doesn't know she has fairies and he's not chasing after magic (unless that's what this finale is about). What on EARTH is she doing with 1 million wishes that's getting him this hyperfixated??

It's not like Hazel and the other kids can afford the expensive tech products I'm certain Dale sells, seeing as he's a tech mogul with talking drones that have arms, and seeing as back during "Stanky Danky," he was advertising products kids aren't really interested in (He bragged Dimmadome Global sells "rugs, plugs, and coffee mugs" plus doormats). She's gotta be wishing for adults too.

Am I reading this right? I don't think she's doing anything wrong - she's 10 and is allowed to wish for stuff and there are no rules against wishing for other people - but she's absolutely wrecking the Dimmadomes.

1 million wishes........ hoooo boy.

- I just !! wish we were seeing this onscreen?? Even though Wanda claims in the birthday episode that Hazel's been wishing for other people, I've not gotten that impression outside the 3 wishes we saw her make in "Lost and Founder's Day" (new ice cream after dropping one, faster-moving line, bouncier bounce house)... Things that shouldn't be costing Dale money. -> Maybe he's just annoyed he can't upsell, but ?? none of the kids expressed interest when his O-pairs tried to upsell them. One of them looked bored out of their mind. - I personally would've liked glimpses of Dale working on this stuff since we used to get peeks into Crocker's life regularly, especially since I assume he's the big antagonist for this episode and has run off to Fairy World to take over... I would've liked to be there when he discovers the notes on his board. Maybe we'll get a flashback about it? - I feel like I missed a bunch of context and I'm having to do a very deep read that I would not be doing if I weren't intentionally pausing and theorizing. -> I'd really have benefitted from a Dale-centric episode akin to "Transparents" from the OG series' Season 1: similar vibes to Crocker having a suspicion, showing us how people make fun of him to his face, and taking steps to prove his theories (i.e. Crocker shocked that Timmy brought a dinosaur to show and tell). -> So... something like Dale wanting to scour the whole city with the O-pairs - or stalk Hazel specifically - but having to come up with a creative excuse to hide his intentions. Like him deliberately sending Dev to school with a hidden camera and we keep cutting back to Dale watching the footage at home, or inviting Hazel's family to dinner (maybe through a connection with Hazel's dad studying mystical things; he could say he wanted to show him something or fund his research). -> You're a super rich man and you tell that parascientist that you believe in him and want to fund his research? I think he'd bend over backwards to please you. -> That said, I've enjoyed seeing lots of Hazel episodes. We've gotten important friend and family bonding that I wouldn't want to lose, and we'll probably get some flashbacks that show how we got here. Just... I would've enjoyed building tension over time.

Okay, unpause...

... Hm. So, you're telling me Timmy gets in huge trouble because he secretly froze time 50 years ago, but Hazel gets handed a rule-free wish and none of the Big Fellas are here to supervise...

She's already manipulated time twice without this. If she also wished for time to freeze for 50 years, but it was on a rule-free wish, would anyone bat an eye? Like, could anyone stop her?

I don't love this, but again, let's see where we're goin' with it. I think I know why Hazel and Dev are fighting in the title card. He's gonna want her wish for his dad's love, I assume.

I'm still unclear on why that wasn't one of his wishes when he had Irep.

Wait a sec... He freaked out that Hazel "wished for them to be friends” (his interpretation). He probably genuinely does not want to wish for his dad's love, because it would be "fake."

Now I'm really confused. Timmy had to get his 1 million wishes reviewed and defend the most questionable ones in court. Was that just... something they only did for Timmy because of his history of collateral damage, which is made very clear in the episode, and everyone lied to him that review was standard procedure? lol.

Oh boy. I'm not sure I'm gonna like this... I've not made a real attempt to let New Wish stand for itself as a separate thing from the OG series (I'm too familiar with the show to pretend I don't use it as a baseline to study this one), but maybe I'll have to try and ignore the fact that we're in blatant canon violation. Despite knowing "Secret Wish" is canon in this spin-off.

Is Hazel going to be super anxious about having a rule-free wish? Is that what the recent set-up of anxiety in these last few episodes was for?

lol, I just realized that (unless this rule-free wish comes in the form of a muffin) Hazel's now put herself in a situation where she's not going to be able to wish for the entire rest of this finale unless she's willing with her rule-free wish. That would be really clever.

I said I expected Dev to turn from his dad to Hazel, but I can also see Hazel using her rule-free wish to save Dev from falling to his death or something.

?? I am SO CONFUSED. If they want to do a rule-free plot - and if they don't follow standard protocol for 1 million wishes - why didn't they just do a fairyversary plot? She should be WAY closer to hitting her 1-year anniversary of godparents than to a million wishes.

Rule-free wishes are canon for the 1-year anniversary, and "Abra-castrophe" is probably the best-known movie of the series. It would've made sense.

And she clearly hasn't hit her anniversary yet in a world where we assume that's still canon, or she'd already have rule-free wish experience, which she doesn't.

Pfft, the Big Wand drained. That's... also a way you can take away her ability to wish so this finale will be dramatic, but I liked my "oh no, if I wish for anything, I'll waste my rule-free wish" theory better :'D

Cosmo: We've gone to Fairy World with you 39 to 40 times! :) Me, who previously said I was sad we hadn't seen Hazel being delighted by Fairy World or engaging with its magic, whispering: what the fliiiiiip... This has never been indicated even slightly... why weren't we shown this?? instead, you flat-out told us Fairy World was "reserved for special occasions," which you then used photo evidence to back up your insistence that going to Fairy World was really only for times Jorgen is testing you as godparents... I'm so confused...

Did I miss some episodes? Did we jump forward in time? Is there a plot twist time travel reveal? I feel like I missed 2 or 3 whole seasons;;

- Fairy World should be a big deal. It should feel very different than the human world and be full of weird roads, magical creatures new to Hazel, purple grass, etc. - I'm sad that our only times seeing Hazel interact with Fairy World are when she and Kennueth went clothes shopping (in one store we didn't see them enter or leave, just a scene change) and when she was randomly teleporting around with Dev. Or Fairy Con, I guess, but we haven't seen her wander the streets. I'm just sad to hear she's gone so many times, so now I'll not get to see her explore. - Had my hopes up for something akin to "Big Wanda" or "Odd Squad" or "Timmy TV" :'D Or even just "Most Wanted Wish" when Timmy goes to lunch with Mama Cosma

I just want to see New Wish's version of random reminders that Fairy World is a funky non-human society and it's fun to explore :'D

I wanna be wowed!! And I'm sad I don't get to be there when Hazel truly starts looking around. Alas...

I'm operating with the assumption that the show may get a second season (at least, it needs to be set up so it can either tie up loose ends or continue in the future). 1 million wishes is a strange thing to drop on us this early (Skipped every milestone and skipped oodles of adventures). I saw no foreshadowing or hints that they were doing any of this.

-> I could've sworn her most recent milestone was 100... Or if I'm misremembering, it can't have been more than 1000.

Hmm. I do like how Wanda's worried and Cosmo's kicking his legs.

... When I paused to write my note about not being shown this, I thought I heard a flashback ripple that would showcase Hazel's wishes. But it was not. It's just a normal scene change :')

This is a 20-minute episode; I can't treat it like a movie. They're doing their best in the allotted time and budget and I'm glad we even get a finale.

But also, I really like how "Secret Wish" makes a special effort to showcase tons of Timmy's wishes, most of which we'd seen, but a few that were made up. It gave us story context and depth that I'm itching for more of with Hazel.

- I like what I've seen with Hazel, but I feel like I just got sucker punched in a "Haha, you don't get to bond with this character or be there during these important events like finally exploring Fairy World with Cosmo and Wanda" kind of way. I feel robbed and icky. - Next you're gonna tell me she's already familiar with Juandissimo, Mama Cosma, Schnozmo, Blonda, and/or Big Daddy and I'll just sit here feeling sad, cheated, and confused. Let's hope not...

omg, we're going back to the Hocus Poconos in the finale and it's gonna be full of unwished Hazel stuff..... Is that why we don't have flashbacks yet? That'd be clever! My theory was that Lezah got sent there, and they did set her up as a rival with a very thoughtful design... so maybe.

??????? whaaaat.

hooooly, what is this...

Well, that's not Dimmadome aesthetic, so this doesn't fit my Dale theory. I don't recognize this style. It gives me Crocker vibes, but we've only seen him once.

?? The fact that Cosmo described the Big Wand as yellow and Hazel says "It's blue" when she shows up makes me think this is supposed to be Anti-Fairy aesthetic (even though their star is black), but it sure doesn't look like it...

We know, like... 4 things about Anti-Fairy World: red skies, purple roads, lots of metal, and Anti-Cosmo's castle design. This doesn't look like any of those things.

I want to think Crocker, but it can't be... He's only had one cameo. We just barely had our second Anti-Fairy reminder; this HAS to be Anti-Fairies. but... throwing out their aesthetic would be a heck of a way to introduce them :'D

If this is Anti-Fairies, I'll let it slide because they seem to have taken over Fairy World, so actually... it makes sense Anti-Cosmo's sign isn't here. Also, they wouldn't bring the sky. And I can't blame them for not lugging barbed wire out here.

Actually, this looks closer to Fairy World when it lost power in "Crocker Shocker" than to Anti-Fairy World. Which would track with the fact the Big Wand just went down.

I do like how the bridges look like lava. I think I like that better than Anti-Fairy World's purple roads.

I'm really glad to see the roads connecting different clouds up and down as that's Fairy World's signature thing; I was sad in Episode 2 that Fairy World didn't look magical or make me interested in returning.

Ironically, this might be the best showcase of the roads I remember from either series. But I miss the mountains…

Okay- I've taken some time to sit and think. I'm paused at 2:48, so I don't think I have enough clues to put the pieces together, but since it's the finale and I'm not sure if I'll be spoiler-free again if we get new episodes, I'm pulling out all my theorizing stoppers. Bear with me.

1) We know Fairy World is shut down right now. I think it's coincidence that this happened when Hazel earned her rule-free wish. I don't think anyone's plotting to take her wish, and I do think she'll use her wish to either save Dev's life or make him happy.

2) We know the Big Wand is blue (???) and the sky is gloomy. That feels like Anti-Fairy vibes despite this not being their aesthetic.

3) We know Anti-Fairy World is still a thing; Jorgen sent Irep to Anti-Fairy World when he booted him away from Dev. That implies the species are still divided.

In most of their appearances, there's a theme of Anti-Fairies being locked away. I think something happened to get them out, which plays into my next thought:

4) If this is Anti-Fairies, I lean towards this being Irep now grown-up and following through on his dream of taking over. It feels weird, because his goal in the debut of THIS series was obtaining godkids, so... I'm not sure, but I'm getting Irep vibes. Here is why.

- This feels closer to Irep's aesthetic than Anti-Cosmo's. Foop's thing has always been that he loves Anti-Fairy World the way it is, and all the creepy aesthetic that goes with it. He eats it up. - Anti-Cosmo enjoys chaos, but his whole thing is being jealous of the Fairies. He hates being locked up and seems more tolerant of Anti-Fairy World's vibes than appreciative of them. His thing is that he desperately wants Earth (so it’s really funny he said H.P. could blow it up. BFFs…) - OG series Anti-Cosmo doesn't even want to take over Fairy World; he wants a godkid. His shtick is "I will literally do anything for a godkid even if it's stupid and I make a fool of myself." And then he makes a fool of himself; it's great.

I don't think Irep is capable of taking over Fairy World by himself, even though he wants it. But I also don't think Anti-Cosmo would do this, even though (if his Anti-Fairies followed orders) he probably could.

Taking over means confronting magical people, and Anti-Cosmo doesn't, like... do that. He taunts people IF he holds a blatant advantage (like them being locked up or them being a human who can't jump and grab him), but he's also a huge coward <3 He's Mr. Buddy System. He needs his Anti-Fairies. So... He might be here, yeah! But I do get major Irep vibes. Irep's totally leading, and I don't see Anti-Cosmo's aesthetic here, so I think he's playing a small supporting role if he's here at all. - Anti-Cosmo thinks being locked in Anti-Fairy World sucks, but he also hates leaving the house, you get me?

I DO think Anti-Cosmo would be willing to help someone who helped him. And I do think he doesn't mind Anti-Fairies taking over if it keeps Fairies off his back... but ruling isn't his gig. He likes being a goofball in the field.

I think someone else who wants to take over Fairy World got the Anti-Fairies out of Anti-Fairy World, and this is Anti-Fairy aesthetic combined with someone else's. I think they've been granted freedom in exchange for their numbers and magic.

Dale has ginger hair. HE looks like the roads. Now, THAT would be funny.

oh, I'm an IDIOT! It's gotta be DEV. He went looking for Anti-Fairies at the end of "Best of Luck!"

omg, this is Irep's love for darkness and cruelty plus Dev's ginger hair aesthetic! That feels totally right. That's my final answer.

Okay, THIS IS MAKING SENSE. I've been sitting here for (no joke) an hour outlining mental notes like "Irep got flicked away by Jorgen being casual; he can't possibly take over by himself. And you'd need a ton of Anti-Fairies to pull this off, and they take orders from Anti-Cosmo... but why would Anti-Cosmo take over Fairy World? He's literally always dragged his feet about it when the idea comes up."

But if Dev let the Anti-Fairies out - thus earning Anti-Cosmo's assistance - and we know Dev's been ANGRY... Ooooh, that would answer my concerns. I'm ready for this.

Anti-Cosmo does not have the best track record with not backstabbing someone who releases his people, so I'm intrigued.

And this COULD be a way to get the godkids! Indirectly, but we just found out Anti-Fairies can now yoink godkids if Fairies quit, which is a new rule for this series!! Ohhh, I'm picking up what they're putting down (I think).

I'm here, I'm ready, I'm excited. Let's do this.

Hey, actually, before I unpause... what the flip. Up until this second, I assumed the notes Cosmo and Wanda wrote on Dale's note board were going to be found by Dale... ... but we KNOW Dev saw them. HE knows about the Big Wand. AND he has a way to get to Fairy World (Peri, and/or Irep coming back for him, and/or if he broke into Cosmo and Wanda's apartment I guess) that Dale doesn't. And he's even been here before, and he's been researching Anti-Fairies. That makes so much sense.

Final answer: I think Dev released the Anti-Fairies (bringing back Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda for finale, yay!) and they're teamed up enough to blend their aesthetics, indicating a semi-equal partnership.

I think A.C., A.W., and Irep will all be here together, finally giving us family vibes for them (fingers crossed), but I think Irep will suck at being a team player. I think Anti-Cosmo will play along with Dev until he decides it would be to their benefit to backstab. Not sure what they'll do with Anti-Wanda; she might hang back =(

Maybe we'll get lucky and Anti-Wanda will be motherly towards Dev. Anti-Cosmo being fatherly would be funny.

omfg, that would be REALLY funny. Anti-Cosmo wants godkids- can you even IMAGINE the daddy issues that would resurface if Irep had to watch his dad fawn over his new friend? crying.

Irep's not big on backstabbing people unless they betray him first (Ex: Crocker not inviting him to his house party), so I do think if Anti-Cosmo fawned over Dev, that would snap him. lol.

I'm not expecting Anti-Cosmo to talk about wanting godkids, which is fine... This is a new show, and he's had time to form a new dynamic with his son that wasn't there in the OG series (because his son grew up in Abracatraz and Foop was upset about his parents "moving away without leaving a forwarding address again" in "Certifiable Super Sitter"), so it's not like their dynamic was great back then.

"Hey Riddle, didn't you say once the week they ditched Foop would pan out to be during free-tailed bat mating season? And hasn't that always been your headcanon'd species for them and it got way funnier when it turned out Foop's toes are canonically light-colored, just like the white bristles on free-tailed bats' feet?" Yeah. lmao.

Also, I think Dale should have a gun.

I have my fingers crossed that we are referencing "Secret Wish" for a reason... but the only thing I can think of is that the Hocus Poconos is coming back.

I'm just so surprised they'd make up new lore for a rule-free wish in a way that directly violates that episode's canon of what happens at 1 mil (considering that if people wanted to go digging for Hocus Poconos backstory after its introduction in this series, "Secret Wish" is what they'd watch) instead of using the established one with the shorter time period, unless they just didn't know the lore.

It has to be intentional. But why?

My thoughts are that they don't want a rule-free muffin bouncing around or they didn't want Hazel's muffin to be compared to the OG series... but that makes me sad because we know that was established for any godkid who keeps fairies for a year. It would be so easy... That's literally the movie they air often... It's the one people are probably most familiar with...

Hmm. Well. I'll take a breath and try to let New Wish stand on its own, but I'm just very surprised.

Plot Point Theories

... Okay, I've been thinking a little longer (next day), and now I'm REALLY nervous if this is Dev. Because if Dev's hanging around Anti-Fairies and making wishes with their powers, Peri's gonna get magical back-up.

In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't already since we haven't seen him grant a single wish for Dev in several episodes, and when he did show up, he was in his parents' house with Dev nowhere to be seen.

Also, the Big Wand is down- everyone is gonna get magical back-up, which we just learned kills you.

In the OG show it didn't kill you (and Cosmo and Wanda went through it multiple times), so if they explode and then turn out to be fine, I won't be surprised. However, they seem to be pushing the death story for this show.

Fairies leaving no bodies behind when they die was canon in the OG though, so I like that part (They left dust, and I've always headcanon'd Anti-Fairies as leaving behind smoke since Foop was born from a smoke cloud).

- I like that in this series, they clarify magical backup occurs "if you don't use magic." That was always unclear in the old one, where they used to say "if you don't grant wishes" despite the majority of Fairies not being godparents. - In 'fics, I went the route of "Well, godparents probably get a huge power boost of magic when they sync up to a godkid, hence why the creatures who are so paranoid about people hurting them are even motivated to help kids, and that's why you risk backup." - Specifically, I went a whole worldbuilding route where godparents draw energy through the Big Wand, but use godkids as a springboard to alter the world in ways they normally aren't powerful enough to do (so I like how we saw Irep messing with the flow of time when he became Dev's godparent in "Best of Luck" since that was probably the first time he was able to play with those kinds of powers in an all-encompassing way). - But if it's just magic in general, that's a completely new vibe than anything I've played with, and I like that. I'm ready to be surprised and horrified about what does or doesn't count as magic.

I think if Hazel doesn't save Dev with her rule-free wish, she's probably gonna wish someone who explodes from magical back-up back to life.

My predictions for where Dev's arc is going:

- Peri's going to get magical back-up and Dev will be some emotion like shocked, ashamed, or remorseful.

- Anti-Cosmo specifically will backstab Dev when he's "no longer needed" (Irep won't; Irep's always wanted friends. He might even stand up for Dev against Anti-Cosmo, but I'm not confident).

- If Dale shows up in this episode, he's gonna uncover Fairy World's shtick and have a meltdown that the Fairies never rescued him from 7 years of child labor.

- Dale tries to explain himself to Dev, justifying his behavior with claims that he's never "meant" to treat him poorly and all he's ever wanted is for Dev to have a better life without needing to carry the burden of trauma and the past that Dale does.

-> Big "I was going to tell you when you're older; I was trying to do the right thing for both of us" vibes

Ex: We know Dev never gets to have lemonade (presumably a trigger for Dale) & we know Dale has told Dev he "worked in a factory underneath a lemonade stand," but withheld details on Vicky (with Dev having no baseline for how Vicky could possibly know his dad). -> And Vicky only said lemonade stand, not factory, which makes me think Dale's withheld some of the details. For all I know, Dev might think his dad "worked in a factory" by choice. If he uncovers Dale's trauma (maybe by finding memories or records of the past), Dev's gonna either be annoyed his dad withheld this from him, or confused and saddened in a way they can bond over. -> Ex: Maybe Dev thinks "Vicky and my dad worked at a stand as kids and my dad went on to a factory and she's bitter." Part of me is like "Surely there's no reason to bring the lemonade up; it's not a big deal for Dev like it was to his dad," but after Vicky referenced it recently (and Dev was like "How does she know my dad?"), I suspect we might play with that someday, even if it's not in this episode (Because I can see Dev's daddy issues being a multi-season thing to maintain tension).

- Dev's going to break, lose, or throw away his shades, symbolizing that he wants to stop regressing.

-> I imagine them getting broken during a tense moment (such as Anti-Cosmo backstabbing him and smashing them under his foot) so it feels sad at the time as Dev clings to his comfort item, but he's gonna learn to let it go.

- Dev will reject his dad and stay with Hazel and/or Cosmo and Wanda, willing to put in the work to be a nicer person. Also, Peri resolves some issues he has with his parents.

-> Actually, forget that: I think Peri should get his own apartment and Dev can hang out with him there. I really want to see them try to live on their own when I don't think either of them knows how to do much to get by in the real world. I want them to confuse scream together as they try to, like... read bus routes and grocery shop.

- Dev will finally get to taste lemonade. tbh, I think if I was handed this set-up and told to find a fun way to end it... I'd have Hazel "waste" her rule-free wish because it makes her anxious, so she opts to give Dev lemonade.

-> Again, I know the lemonade's probably not a big deal to Dev, but I think it's funny. Then she no longer has to think about the anxiety the wish causes her, and he can be touched by her kindness. lmao.

In "Nectar of the Odds," Timmy's lemonade could grant wishes for anyone who drank it. Dev getting his hands on THAT would be hilarious. I'm not sure what it would add that Peri can't give him, but it would be a funny way to use magic when the Big Wand is down (because Cosmo made that lemonade with his sweat, which he still has in this episode, implication being fairies kinda ooze their extra magic). I can't imagine they would do that because it requires a big callback to the OG series and magical lemonade's not been foreshadowed, but... Dale himself is a callback to that same episode, so I write off nothing. I'm super glad Dale was brought back as Doug's son. Imagine if Dev had different parents, one of whom was Doug's child, so we had a Dimmadome child, but it wasn't Dale. - I'm glad he's here because it feels like the writers did their research. I'd miss him.

Alternate endings I don't think are likely, but they make me laugh:

- Finale doesn't 100% wrap up and instead we're setting up a longer-term relationship for Dev and the Anti-Fairies.

- Dale and Dev have a heart-to-heart and try resolving some of their issues. Dev reaches the point where he's no longer miserable (maybe through his dad being kind to him, or Dev opts to cut ties with his dad and it's a weight off, or Hazel being his friend), so he and Peri will part ways (which tbh... might be healthy for both of them).

- ?? I think I like the idea of Dev no longer counting as miserable, which should disqualify him from having a fairy, but the Council lets him move into Poof's apartment as long as Cosmo and Wanda are nearby to keep an eye on them.

- Alternatively, Dev and Peri break up because Peri realizes he wasn't ready to godparent yet. He takes time away. Thus, Dev temporarily ends up as a shared godkid with Cosmo and Wanda (an unlikely callback to the old series since a lot of people didn't like Chloe sharing fairies with Timmy, but I think it would be funny).

-> Or, Hazel decides Dev needs Cosmo and Wanda more than she does (I'm not saying she doesn't need them, but canonically most godkids don't keep their fairies for long, so it would be interesting). She lets them go so he can have them, maybe using her rule-free wish to do this.

That's not a likely way to wrap up a finale that needs to leave things open for future seasons (if any), but intriguing to think about. We never got a proper send-off for Timmy in the OG series and one of my early theories for New Wish was that Hazel might give Cosmo and Wanda to Dev in the finale, so I think it's worth mentioning.

This show really likes changing the status quo, which was uncommon in the OG series, so I like that about it and I'm interested to see what might happen.

------

Now then... I am once again writing my concerns about Anti-Fairy reboot stuff so I can look back later and see what did or didn't happen.

Basically the same thing I said in Post #10

If you don't like people talking about concerns, you can stop here and I'll pick up the liveblog in my next post <3

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Okay, so... hm.

I'm not that picky about what they do with Anti-Cosmo. If he's now more interested in taking over Fairy World than chasing after godkids, I'll allow it. He can mix it up and it makes for a dramatic story.

Also, the chances of us getting to see his many facets are pretty low if we only get this one 20-minute episode that also has to (presumably) wrap up the Hazel-Dev conflict and some of Dev's issues towards his dad. We're not gonna have time to see much of A.C. beyond whatever he's out here doing, which seems to be evil takeover stuff. And that's okay.

But my hope is that I don't have to see Anti-Cosmo making Dev sign a contract. I really want the Pixies to keep the stuff that's theirs. I don't want their cool things to be moved to characters who are already popular.

Also, I refuse to believe the man who can't sit still for 3 seconds and whose plans look like this would have the skills or patience to write his own contract:

If there's a contract, I'll take it with grace, but I'll headcanon he's been hanging out with H.P. (which I'm not opposed to at all, so that's a win for me).

I'm glad I took the time to sleep and think about this. I'm not sure my thoughts will be correct, but I think I've made peace with the idea of Anti-Cosmo taking over Fairy World: something he's never really expressed interest in and that I associate with H.P. instead.

I said in Post #10 that I was really nervous about the possibility of Anti-Cosmo being rebooted as a suave, sassy, super calculating sexy bad boy who's now confident and all-in on taking over Fairy World... considering that in the OG series, he's an awkward nerd who hates confrontation, defers to H.P. even in his own castle, can't discipline his son, likes comic books, spins in circles, jumps on tables, throws tantrums, will wander off when he's left alone, and wants a godkid.

He DOES have smug energy and cool lines sometimes... but he's also a tantrum-throwing brat who's scared to stand up to people, and in this house, we love him for it!!

And yes, I am so nervous that I'm going to have to watch Anti-Cosmo be rebooted so he's more like H.P. - who IS the suave, sassy villain who's meticulous and in control - and then I'm going to make " :'D " faces for years as I watch the fandom gush over Anti-Cosmo turning into the cool villain H.P. always was. I'm sorry, it's selfish, but H.P. is my favorite and has been a big part of my life for the last 8 years of 'fic writing and fanart, so it would make me sad :') Also, I like Anti-Cosmo being dorky; who will I turn to for a dorky magical villain if I lose him?? The second half of this fear is... Since rebooting Anti-Cosmo into a sassy, confident villain who plans well and wants to take over Fairy World would make him basically the same as H.P., then the pixies are less likely to show up in future seasons (if any) (Alas), or worse... ... H.P. might return, but get rebooted so he's no longer one of the snarkiest characters in the whole show... No longer uses finger guns, no longer gets excited over puns, no longer kicks back to drink the canon alcohol parallel (soda) on the job, no longer wears two hats at the same time, and no longer ditches responsibility for raves :') And I'd just be very sad if I had to see his character traits stripped from him and folded into Anti-Cosmo instead, seeing as A.C. is already very popular with fans and doesn't need the boost in cool.

But... All this said, now that I've sat with my thoughts, I like this idea of Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Irep doing things as a family. THAT is interesting enough to me that I think I'll forgive Anti-Cosmo being confident and sassy, if that's how he's rebooted.

I think it's reasonable for A.C. to change for his family. So... as much as I'd be nervous for what it could mean for H.P., it'll be fine.

I just want Anti-Cosmo to be an awkward nerd pretending to be confident, but also he likes to run around and goof off, but he should also look at people like he's confused they kicked his puppy. Also, that scene in "When Nerds Collide" that you can pause with perfect timing and see him holding Anti-Wanda's hand lives rent-free in my head. You have to balance the smug "In your face" dance & his love for touching things & how oblivious he is to Anti-Wanda's pregnancy cravings & the fact that he shook his wife up and down 2 seconds after she gave birth & how he much he cries & the fact he throws tantrums kicking and screaming & that he once pulled Timmy towards him and then dropped him on the floor because he forgot he couldn't float. This man is a spoiled brat with the giddy energy of a Labrador and the emotional stability of tinsel. you understand...

Man. Why am I so nervous?? H.P. and A.C. both had a decent amount of episodes, and there have been so many callbacks to the OG series that I'm sure the writers studied A.C. before putting him onscreen. If for nothing else, then to get a feel for his dialogue.

If H.P.'s characterization can remain the same across several years in the OG series, he'd probably be fine if they ever came back. I'll be less bothered about Anti-Cosmo changing if H.P. doesn't become less sassy as a result, and I'm probably overthinking (though I have many questions about where Hazel's love for paperwork is going; it almost feels like they're setting up a Pixie plot)

-> Especially since about 15 months ago, there was a rumor going around that the Pixies would return "in the 2nd half of the season." It was later decided they weren't, but the possibility that they nearly did just gets me on edge.

I'll always be happy to see my specialist boy in the world, but if they reduce H.P. to the Pixie stereotype when his whole thing is that he conflicts with whatever dull and boring expectations you go in with, I'll be injured in Family Guy death pose forever. Do not do this to me… I want him back so badly :') ...

Okay. On to a 2nd post! ... Tomorrow, I think. I'm not even 3 minutes in. Haha, I'm in danger.

[gunsatthaphan]

GMMTV 2024 part 1 - review

another year, another lineup, another post that no one asked for dhkgdf

But here are my thoughts on the announced shows from today (in order of announcement, BLs are marked with a 🏳️‍🌈, personal favorites are marked with a 🌟):

My Precious The Series: This project has been lingering around for 4 years now since it was announced and I'm tired lmao why are they making this into a series now??? I have many questions. I never had any desire to watch the movie, it seems like a generic coming of age drama oozing with unnecessary nostalgia so it's a pass for me. .

Ploy's Yearbook (🌟): I like this one!!!! It's giving I'm Tee Me Too but with a female ensemble cast, all of which are fantastic and also the rest of the cast is very promising and we're in for a lot of new ships - I was hoping Earth and the other 30yr olds would finally be free of the blue shorts but maybe this the last one 🤡 but anyway yes I will definitely be tuning into that one 👍🏻 .

We Are (🏳️‍🌈): I'm just gonna go ahead and assume this is the WabiSabi show because it looks terrible. Like how lazy do you have to be to just throw a bunch of BL side- and 1 mainstream couple into the same show with the most basic plot you can think of like what a joke?? WinnySatang are another side couple in this so either they're getting their actual debut show in part 2 or this has all been a scam lol. I expected a lot more, same goes for AouBoom and MarcPawin, who I was hoping would maybe get a comeback show. Also PondPhuwin going from NLMG to this is.... a choice. Don't wanna judge too fast but the trailer made it seem like no effort went into this at all. Hoping for a better end result. .

The Trainee (🏳️‍🌈): Oh look!!! It's OffGun show number 6 lmao rip. I'm not gonna comment on this matter again, I guess they'll just be around forever and that's that lmao. But anyway I'm a little confused by this show, the premise seems fun but?? I have questions lol. I'm excited to see View and Piploy though and I'll just keep an open mind. .

Only Boo (🏳️‍🌈): How did we go from Only Friends to Only Boo lmao what a downgrade. I wanted an all-newbie BL and I'm excited to finally see some new faces but I guess I fooled myself into anticipating a setting that's not highschool lmao. This is another show that I'm clearly too old for but it's also the MSP of 2024 and that ended up being nicer than expected so maybe this will be the same. We shall see. .

Pluto (🏳️‍🌈 🌟): I'm 😭😭😭 This was such a huge surprise I'm still shook lmao. Namtan and Film is not only a couple I never expected in 432 years lmao but also a very strong combination in terms of acting and I'm SO into it. They're revisiting a plot about a disability which is still something I'm dreading about Last Twilight so I guess it comes down to the director again. Let's hope they do it justice. Also the twin story could be tricky, I'm getting some Not Me vibes plot-wise but regardless the trailer looks super interesting to me, also Ciize and Kapook?? YES please. I'm so hyped for this!!!! 🥺 .

On Sale (🌟): Ghostbusters but make it TayNew? I love it lol this looks so fun, I'm very intrigued. I wasn't a huge fan of New before but he climbed up the ladder with The Warp Effect real fast because he undeniably excels at playing awkward goofy characters and this looks like another chance for him to showcase that lol. Him and Tay have always worked better as a comedic duo for me so I'm actually excited that this will be more of a bromance situation lol. Also Mook and Jan are excellent additions so I will be watching this for sure!! .

Ossan's Love Thailand (🏳️‍🌈, remake): I have very mixed feelings about this, I have not seen the original show but from what I've gathered, this does not seem fitting for EarthMix, also is it really necessary to remake another Japanese BL? But this is coming from someone who's not exactly a JBL connoisseur so I guess I'm biased. It seems that after MLC they became enthusiastic about the idea of casting EM in more mature roles which I endorse very much but aren't the people in the OG literally 40 💀 idk I'm curious to see what they make of it and also if we will ever get to see a trailer because we all know how that went with Cherry Magic lol. oh well. .

My Golden Blood (🏳️‍🌈🌟): Well well well. what do we have here. This is for sure the biggest surprise since Be My Favorite lmao I can't believe Gawin is bringing yet another retired BL actor back from the dead and this time it's supernatural kjdhgd. The vampire genre is something I never thought GMMTV would take on but like?? I'm excited?? I'm so happy to see my boy Gawin in another main role and Joss is such an interesting partner but he fits the genre very well imo lol. Also Neo and Mond?? I'm so ready. Hoping for a release around Halloween next year for obvious reasons lol ✌🏻 .

Kidnap (?): Another show another confusion lmao this looks like Double Savage 2.0 to me, Ohm is caught in another mafia situation but this time not with his brother but with someone who's either a bro or a 💖 bro 💖 lmao but this smells like bromance to me. Ohm would never. And besides that I'm not really intrigued. next. .

Summer Night: This is kinda strange because everything about this seems like a BL but... it's not? the first 30 seconds had me convinced PhuwinDunk were gonna be the new thing on the block lmao but yeah apparently not. If I squint my eyes I would think this is Hidden Agenda 2 but with more girls lol and tbh I expected another JD series but regardless the plot seems a bit generic to me so I'm on the fence about it for now. .

Wandee Goodday (🏳️‍🌈): This looks like the Walmart version of Only Friends tbh but guess what I'm on board lmao. It's AllThis Entertainment's new project which means no Eclipse Season 2 (thank god). Great and Inn are a pair I did not see coming and tbh I did not expect Great to even take on a BL role to begin with but I'm intrigued! The director has been moving on a vast spectrum of different genres lately and this is another one that's completely different from their previous works. But I'm excited. It looks kinky and violent. perfect. .

Highschool Frenemy: All I'm seeing is people beating each other up and calling each other friends afterwards so yeah. not my thing. next. .

My Love Mix-Up (🏳️‍🌈, remake): I'm not a huge fan of this, not just because I didn't like the original but because I was hoping to see GemFourth in a different setting. I'm confident they can do it justice though and deliver a good outcome, especially regarding the comedy, but other than that this isn't going on my watchlist for now. .

conclusion: this was a wild rollercoaster lol, every trailer was a stressful game of Het, Gay or Bromance lmao - The majority of this lineup was not to my liking but then again I appreciated the variety because from puppy love highschool romance to gay vampires is a spectrum you really can't complain about lmao. My 2 highlights for now are Pluto and My Golden Blood simply because they're both a massive surprise that they kept very well hidden lol, I'm also intrigued by Wandee Goodday and Ploy's Yearbook because those have great ensemble casts.

One thing I'm missing from the BL lineup though is a genuine romance, something that's deep and genuine and more mature. What they announced seems fun but for the most part either silly or drowned out by 32 couples at the same time lol. so I really hope we will get something a little more serious that also talks about lgbt issues in part 2; Something like Be My Favorite would be nice, maybe minus the supernatural element.

I did not expect them to announce 15 series already, considering this is only part 1 so who knows what part 2 will bring. I'm expecting FK to make an appearance as well as PerthChimon since they are the only 2 couples that have not shown up, also possibly JoongDunk because I can't imagine they would separate them just yet. Looking forward to December! ���🏻

Don't hesitate to drop your thoughts below! 🧡

xxx

[watchtheblog]

Cutting Slack

hello to the hierarchy of my besties: irl besties, internet besties, fantasy besties; the hierarchy of my haters: just the three of you, followed by someone who goes by the alias k.s on google reviews; an ever dwindling number of exes who can read, a handful of people i’m just getting to know who are about to know me too well too fast, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this highly specific page on the internet!!

if you’ve been here before, you know the deal. i’m going to weave a web of little jokes into a somewhat coherent story and then as a reward for knowing me you get the opportunity to see 20 things i hope to receive for my birthday, which, i hope you know… is tomorrow (26 september); i’m turning 94.

The joke web:

In february 2023 after the company I co-created sold to one of the corniest companies on the planet, I quit because they wanted me to set forth eight hours a day I would be available to do work. Seven years into a job I’d put 8 hours a year into, this was a startling task.

Also, they wanted me to become a member of slack, or get on slack, or write to them in slack. Or do something, whatever one does, on slack. You can do a lot of things to me, but what you’re not gonna do is make me go on slack. Many have tried in the past and not a one has ever succeeded.

Not to sound like Mark Cuban - or myself in [redacted] years -  but an 8 hour workday was not for me. And I explained this. I told a woman alleging to be my supervisor that every morning I woke up, I did cult for 20 minutes, wrote in my journal for 45 minutes, went for a 1 hour walk, came home, showered, drank a little poison, read for one hour in my garden, did some dilly dallying on the internet, and then I went to an appointment*, and by the time I was done with all of that it was already 4pm and that’s wind down time in my culture. 

Where did she want me to find 8 hours?!

(*i realize appointment time is not a thing (everyone can understand) but I’m gonna have to save it for another post. appointment time is sacred in a directionless little bug’s life and it deserves to be explained properly.)

If you think I’m joking that I laid out this schedule to a woman who was born inside a human resources complaint folder and whose dearly departed soul resides within a ludicrously capacious bag somewhere, I beg you to get to know me better.

Fundamentally, she did not understand and spiritually I was not the messenger to enlighten her, so I decided to quit.

I am impulsive by nature but this decision was incredibly thought out. I wrote down a list of pros and cons and I titled the cons list “things I’m not aligned with” and I listed 11 things.

“I dont want to be managed!!!!!!” (this is a literal copy and paste) topped the chart.

To follow? “Corporate weirdness”, and, simply: “Slack”.

On the pros list I wrote: “Freedom”, “I will finally be free”. (LOL!) Underneath it, it says “Take a fucking risk.”

I sat with these lists for approximately three minutes, and then I wrote an email announcing my resignation. And then I quite literally never spoke to anyone there ever again.

This all leads me to one short pivot before we’ll arrive at our final destination of my birthday list. 

When I mentioned earlier that I am impulsive by nature, I mean that I quit my job because someone said there was a question posed to me in Slack and I needed to answer it came to Ohio to visit my dad’s (RIP) childhood home and my (then) girlfriend convinced me to call the number on a commercial real estate building and within 45 days I’d signed a lease and 90 days later I had packed, driven, and moved my entire life across the country. 

When I moved here, I knew no one so I did a lot of things you may think only people who are on reality dating shows do, like: go to an espresso martini making class, cook marshmallows over an open fire in a state park at night with strangers, slide down a snowy hill on a plastic saucer as an activity, or attend a local rat’s birthday party.*

*disclaimer for anyone here who doesn’t GET me bc I’m scared to be misunderstood: i loved all of these things I’m not mocking them; I’m simply holding a light to the absurdity of my *on the spectrum, agoraphobic weirdo* ass doing these things in earnest because i needed to not kms. ◡̈  kms stands for k*ll myself.*

(Of course all of these things on a reality dating show would involve two people, whereas in my case I did all of those things alone.)

As a treat for my efforts to be a member of society, the universe provided me with the unique gift of meeting the anthropomorphic version of my intrusive thoughts!! 

We’ll call her Gloria (for no reason) and in our first phone conversation she had called everyone in the state of ohio “fat, lazy and bipolar” and told me my business would fail.

One minute after we hung up, she texted asking if I wanted to sauna with her right now. Now mind you, I’ve been doing shit “for the lore” since before it was called “lore” and men were just telling me I was insane (simpler times!!) so I grabbed a bikini and drove 9 minutes ready to go in a sauna with a random lady I’d never met.

And go in a sauna with a random lady I did... fully clothed for a reason that both confused and relieved me. In that sauna, Gloria repeated the aforementioned phone topics and added a pointed “nobody wants to work out; you will fail” while staring at me in a box heated to 130 degrees.

“It’s okay. Everything is always working out for me” I told her as she persisted in her negativity, because I lacked the ability to just tell her to shut the fuck up (and also because that is true). 

I considered the possibility of her behavior coming from a good intentioned place, like when cars driving the opposite direction flash their lights to let you know they just passed a cop (as if that ever hits). I considered it was an act of humanity, one unstable woman to another; trying to save me from the hell she thought was inevitable given her own - self proclaimed - “failure”. (she had opened and closed a studio of her own.)

So I let her keep flashing her dumb lights at me, showing up to my studio uninvited in the middle of my buildout telling me I should see if my landlord would let me out of my lease, texting me little foreboding horror stories about the perils of being in the fitness industry, sending me local businesses that were closing as if to say “i told you so; i’m warning you.”

“You’ll see” she said multiple times, as if to predict my ultimate demise in a way I’d be able to reflect on in the future, remembering she’d warned me. 

In those moments and in the months of desperation and grind leading up to the opening of my business I had no other choice but to move forward blindly, confidently. Long before I met this psychopath I had prepared for the possibility of failure. Unlike this woman, however, that preparation involved the potential of having to say “I failed… now what?” rather than “I failed. I’m the rule, not the exception. The journey is impossible.”

It’s been almost two years since I left the career I thought would define me, and while I certainly haven’t failed, I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this from the beginning of a long journey I’m prepared and excited to be on that began the day I decided to take a fucking risk.

Two years ago I couldn’t find 8 hours a day to work and now somehow I’ve found 14-18…

and not a single one of them has been spent on slack. 

The Gift Portion!!!  the intangible: for the dismantling of nextdoor dot com, for all my bad memories to be erased, to win the war against seed oils, for the ai to stop(!!!), that the person who sullied my google reviews finds God and healing bc going against me is a form of psychosis, for great deals on this upcoming amazon prime day, that natalia grace is ok, that i never hear a telephone ring again, for watermelon to be in season all the time, that nobody is ever mad at me, that all eggs would turn to donuts in a way that would not have negative implications for chickens or negative repercussions for farmers, that everyone bounces back from whatever inevitable side effects ozempic will have, that my frequently used emoji are all safe and sound after getting rearranged, and for everyone I know and love to read the source by dr tara swart, and that they are all happy, healthy, successful, and in love forever.

the ones you can buy: these shoes (size 38)  or these shoes (size 38) also these (and you guessed it! 38) i want to fix my brain here, a casual five day immersive neurofeedback experience this watch this large suitcase or this one i cant pick this gorgeana kind of urgently, this these shoes (great deal alert!!!!) (size 38) i think the trajectory of my life would change if i owed four of these and maybe some other things to go with it big year for shoes … huge a stunning linen spray this practical thing her this or something else from her(e) these, white, small also kind of urgently, these this definitely the max mara teddy coat in the absolute smallest size and this is the last time I’m gonna put it here!!!!!! ykto!!! (lol!!)

[aonoou]

Orter Madl HC

Currently into Mashle and I fell in love with almost all the characters. Some Mashle HC ideas came into mind recently. I wanted to make this into a proper fanfic and post this on Archives but it's tiring to do it (I'm lazy and busy) and my English is not good so I'm just dumping my idea here.

I'll have my HC/fanfic story about one of my biases, Orter Madl. Some characters will appear here. This happened post-war against Innocent Zero.

CHAPTER 1 - The Legend of the Witch of Ursla

After the war, the Bureau of Magic was very busy restoring the capital. It took almost a year before everything went back to normal.

During that time, the Magical Power Administration was especially busy. They are trying to hunt down criminals and magic users connected to Innocent Zero.

Orter Madl, the current head of the Magical Power Administration, was reading through case files from before he became the head of the department.

Reports of ALL cases from other provinces dating back 15 years were sent to the office per his instructions and were thoroughly reviewed by Orter himself. He looked calm and composed on the outside, but was cursing the heavens on the inside. He knew the former administration was incompetent, but he didn't expect them to be SO incompetent. A lot of reports are missing important information, records of provincial court hearings that looked suspicious, and so much more.

He was also appalled by the number of case files that were not submitted to the central office. Officers assigned in big towns (aside from the capital) are tasked to submit reports of big and relevant cases to the capital. It was part of the protocol. But it seems like no one from the provinces followed this protocol before he came to office.

He regretted not doing it sooner. And cursed himself for it.

Orter noticed a case file about the "Witch of Ursla." The information on the file sounded like a local legend told to kids so they wouldn't do bad things. It was about a lone witch in a deserted town. He only ever heard of Ursla from the Geography class when he was still in the Police Academy.

He began his research about the village and found out that it was once inhabited by non-magic users. Unfortunately, around 7 years ago, it became a ghost town. According to the report from a big town near Ursla, the people from the village suffered from a contagious disease and died. Thus, no one inhabited Ursla after that because of it and the other rumors surrounding the village.

Rumors include hearing cries of the villagers at night and the appearance of a ghost in white dancing in the square every 16th of the month. Not to mention, because the village was once inhabited by non-magic users, no one bothered to know the real cause of their deaths.

The one that struck Orter the most in the report is about the Witch. One of the reports suspects that the so-called "Witch of Ursla" is a ghost apparition that had killed the villagers and has been luring people to kill more. So everyone left the village alone.

Orter was not amused that this report was not submitted to his office at the time he was appointed as the head of the Magical Power Administration. He had specifically ordered at that time that all big active cases (potentially harmful ones as well) should be reported back to the capital. In his perspective, this case is not only a big active one but also a potentially serious event that may jeopardize the safety of the neighboring towns and villages.

He is now determined to rip the scalp of the officers in charge of that village, even if it means going to the village himself. So, he immediately informed his staff that he would be away to investigate a certain report for a while. He asked 008 to accompany him as well.

Even though 008 is no longer his servant, 008 is still working as Orter's subordinate in the department. 008 happily agreed to accompany Orter.

He also needed someone from the research department, so he asked Tsurara if she could lend him one of her subordinates. And of course, the Ice Cane took this as an opportunity to let a certain younger brother bond with his estranged older brother. So she ordered Wirth to accompany Orter. Wirth was not so pleased with it, but he couldn't say no to his boss. Also, Abyss and Rayne who were present at that time encouraged (forced?) him to go with Orter. He ended up coming.

After a few days of journey (because instead of just using their broomstick, Orter decided to use the carriage so he could spend more time with Wirth. This dude, even though this is a work trip. But he also did not talk to his brother during the trip, just sitting reading work stuff - how in the world is that "spend more time"!?), the group reached a big town near Ursla where the local officials in charge of that province, including Ursla, is stationed. While Orter was rampaging with his very calm and composed, but intimidating voice, Wirth and 008 were asking some townspeople about Ursla. Some people believed the story of the ghost, and some thought that the people of Ursla were cursed to death and anyone who dared come to the village would be cursed as well. Others think that the departed people of the village were the ones who put a curse on Ursla because they were abandoned when they needed help the most.

After Orter was done with his calm rampage, the two reported back to him what they had heard from the townsfolk. They decided to head to Ursla.

As they were nearing the village, they saw an old lady tending to her plants. Orter asked Wirth if he could ask the old lady about Ursla, but Wirth refused, saying that it was Orter's job to investigate.

Orter approached the old lady and asked her about the village. He also asked about the witch and the rumors as well. The old lady thinks that the rumors are ridiculous and exaggerated. She said that she felt very sad for the people of Ursla, especially for the only person living in the village at the moment. The old lady said that the "witch" and the "ghost" might be referring to the young lady from Ursla. This person was the only one who survived the plague. Her entire family, together with the villagers died 7 years ago. The old lady hoped that she would leave Ursla because it must have been very lonely living in that village on her own. But the young lady refused and stayed. She asked Orter if he could bring her with him and that the "witch" was actually a kind young lady, however, because of what happened to Ursla, she became distrustful of others, especially magic users and people in positions. Well, Orter is both a magic user and someone who holds an important position in the bureau, so he doesn't think he could convince her, but he didn't say it out loud. He just said "I see" and proceeded to the village together with Wirth and 008. (Hey at least say thanks!!!)

parts 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 here NEXT CHAPTER

So that's the first chapter of this story. And it's looooonnngg, too. I'll put the part two next time. I need to rest my fingers from all the typing.

I may just post it on Archives once I'm able to post at least half of the story here cause I may end up getting lazy continuing this. lol. And create a new account on Archive as well cause could no longer remember my old one.

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

Diabolik Lovers — A systematic review (sort of) of all the times the Diaboys cried in HDB, MB, DF, LE and CL

So, this (long) post is exactly what it says — it’s a count of all the times the Diabolik Lovers characters cry. Except Yui because she’s in every route and that would’ve made this a lot harder. It is excluding VC and LP as they are not story games and I don’t think they’d be crying over anything worth noting down.

I came up with this idea when I started my third year pharmacology dissertation which is a systematic review. The data extraction for this involves screening large numbers of papers for certain data, and I came up with the idea of doing this for the DL games and how many times the characters cry, since I was interested to see who cries the most (besides Kanato, obviously. I knew he’d come out on top by a long way before I even started.)

In order to do this properly, I needed an inclusion and exclusion criteria. Things to exclude are times other characters cried in the individual routes. I identified crying moments by Ctrl+F “cry” / “tears” / “cried” / “sob” / “snif” so there’s a chance something will be missed, especially since some CGs which show crying don't describe the crying in the text. Sometimes it wasn’t clear if they were crying or if it was just implied, in which cases I checked the walkthrough if there was one to try and hear it and it was only included if I could hear something like crying. I also recorded a brief reason for why they were crying. It took a while at first but once I got into it, it was easy.

This list will contain mentions of all canon themes + spoilers. Thank you to all the translators who contributed to the game translations on Tumblr. Any excluded routes/parts due to lack of TL are listed. Here is the masterlist I used.

Here is a link to a Google docs file containing all the times they cried. And now I’m going to talk about what this data represents and the best way to interpret it!

So, we could take these numbers at face value. Below is the breakdown of the raw data (data before any analysis).

There’s obviously some bigger criers than others and to very little surprise Kanato is top. So let’s simplify this data and rank it.

Now, we could take this as the final rankings and I guess if you were counting who cries the most times overall, that’s your ranking. However, is this really a reliable way of ranking them?

It’s not, because each character is in a different number of games each. The Sakamaki’s are in 5 games, the Mukami’s are in 4, the Tsukinami’s are in 3, and Kino is only in two. So is it fair to compare say, Shin’s 1 cry in 3 games to Subaru’s 2 cries in 5 games? How do we know Shin wouldn’t have had a couple more cries if he’d been in more games?

On top of that, because of people’s routes not being translated fully, I may not have included some cries. For example, only 1/6 of Yuma’s LE is translated, so Yuma’s cry count is across 3.15 games, whereas Ruki for example has complete translations and therefore we’ve searched through all routes.

So let’s average that, and get “average cries per game”

In the real world of statistics, this data is pretty useless because each character cries different amounts of times. And I can’t really work any more averages such as which game includes the most cries per character because the data range is so large. Kanato skews the data massively, especially when Kanato and Subaru are both Sakamaki’s and Kanato has 31 cries (probably more, actually. I definitely missed some of them with the search terms) and Subaru only has 2.

But, here’s the new order.

In general, this order is best for comparing each character since it takes into account the different amount of content for each character. So, this is order is what I’ll be using to talk about it.

Again, Kanato having the most cries is really not surprising here. 6 cries per game is roughly one cry every 5 stories – with that said, excluding CL which he goes a bit loopy in (and it doesn’t help that he loses his memories), Kanato’s cries do go down from 8 per game in HDB to 4 in DF and LE each. So, does he get his shit together a bit? Maybe!

Now, Laito did surprise me with how many cries he had actually. He’s a bit of a cry baby, huh? With that said, it’s interesting how averaging out the games puts Azusa in our number 2 spot. I want to hug Azusa, a lot of his cries were really sad ;;

Kou doesn’t surprise me a lot either because he’s pretty unstable. But it did surprise me when I averaged out the games and Ruki kicked Shu out of the number 5 spot? Ruki comes off a lot as much more composed so it’s surprising to know he’s actually a bit of a softie when it comes to showing his feelings.

Shu has on average 1 cry per game which is pretty decent — actually listening to a lot of Shu’s cries are pretty gut wrenching because when he does cry, it’s for about 5 minutes straight.

After that, everyone has less than 1 cry per game. Reiji and Ayato seem to be pretty tough when it comes to crying, although the CGs where they do cry make me really sad.

Subaru having such a low cry count actually makes me pretty damn sad? There’s so many moments with Subaru where he so very close to crying and a couple of times I think it’s implied that he was or is going to be crying alone. But I wish he cried more y’know? He’s hurting a ton in a lot of these games and he should let it out ;;

Honestly what shocked me the most was that Shin actually cries once? Because holy shit, I was not expecting that to be honest. And with Carla and Kino… well, I’m not surprised at all.

That’s pretty much all I have to say here. I wrote this out instead of revising for my actual statistics exam on Tuesday. Don’t take this too seriously - I explained it's limitations and such in my discussion - and feel free to ask any questions <3

To top it all off, have some CGs of everyone crying.

And some Yui cries :) 

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of February 2024

[last month]

Out of all the releases I've been interested in these past two months, I feel like I've listened to barely any of them :( But I've really, really loved the ones I've gotten around to checking out, so I've been having a great couple months of music anyway! My music taste is in its seasonal transition--plenty of bleak winter stuff this month, but I've been craving big heartstopping pop anthems, too (G-IDLE's "Revenge" isn't on here, but I've been loving it lately).

1. Ahora y Aquí -- Ramon Mirabet, Bely Basarte

So I keep saying I'm tired of the 80s-inspired synthpop trend that's taken over our post-"Blinding Lights" world, but here I am with this at the top of my list. No but this one's DIFFERENT, SHE'S NOT LIKE OTHER SYNTHPOP. As with most tracks blessed by Bely Basarte, the vocals are what elevates this for me--they're unexpectedly gritty for a sleek pop track like this, and when both singers let it all out in that last chorus, I understand what it means to go feral. It has all the uncontrolled chaos of a real dance party, and I love it!!

2. Lejos -- Andrea Santiago

This is a pretty by-the-numbers Andrea Santiago song, but even the most average of her music is a world of its own to escape into. I'm not sure how to feel about this new album--something feels really off about the production--but "Lejos" is absolutely hypnotizing! Definitely going to be bringing this one out at karaoke sometime, because it's exactly my type of angst (and the chorus jumps are SOOO fun to sing???).

3. Turning Tables -- Adele

I sulked to this song all month, and I don't regret a minute of it.

4. Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart -- Mitski

Do I win sapphic points for having Mitski in the top 5?

5. Is It Over Now? (Taylor's Version) -- Taylor Swift

LETS FAST FOWARD TWO THREE HUNDRED TAKEOUT COFFEES LATER !!!!!! Yeah I'm completely obsessed with that line. Taylor Swift always releases songs that are just SO fun to sing along to, so I'm running around my apartment like YOU SEARCH IN EVERY MODEL'S BED FOR SOMETHING GREATER, BABY !!!! This song is such an off-balance mix of humor and agony, so like I don't really understand it but I can't take my eyes off it. And that intro is GORGEOUS.

6. Easy -- Le Sserafim

I didn't get the hype for "Perfect Night", so I didn't particularly care either way about this comeback--until I heard it. And oh my god "Easy" got me on first listen. ("Smart" has been working its way up my On Repeat playlist, too.) Le Sserafim stole all my new-release energy this month, but my appreciation for "Easy" still hasn't died out. A silky-smooth song like this is perfect for my mood right now--their delivery is so casually confident, contagious enough that I can't help but feel stronger when I listen to it; but it's not so energetic that my poor gloomy winter-brain is overwhelmed. The production is really crisp, too, complimenting the vocals well and making for some really iconic moments. And yes i'm aware this is gg "Sticker". I still can't listen to "Sticker" (it gives me a headache), but this version isn't too annoying for me, I guess?

7. Unstoppable -- Sia

I actually don't have a real explanation for this one? I remembered this song existed mid-month (after having forgotten about it since 2016), had a crisis with it as a soundtrack, and now it's in the playlists.

8. Roaring 20s -- Panic! At The Disco

Burnout anthem?? Burnout anthem.

9. Outta My Head -- Jeon Somi

My commentary on every Somi song ever is just "Somi sing so pretty SQUEEEEEEEE". So, that's my review for "Outta My Head". I don't know if people still like this one, but my love for it hasn't died since "Birthday" era!

10. Budget (feat. Latto) -- Megan Thee Stallion, Latto

@shyreol got me with her Megan Thee Stallion agenda! I don't think I'd ever cared for a Megan Thee Stallion song before this year, but "Ungrateful" and "Budget" have me HOOKED.

11. Now That We Don't Talk (Taylor's Version) -- Taylor Swift

I don't know, I just really like it when the title drop goes BOOM !!

NOW THAT. WE DON'T. TALK.

12. Tinnitus (Wanna be a rock) -- TXT

WHOOOOO AFROBEATS !!!

13. There Will Be Tears -- Faux Paz

Faux Paz is back for round two on my 2024 monthly lists! They're my favorite holdover from my acappella days--their arrangements always hit hard, and there's something about the really gloomy, and also cathartic, acceptance in the phrase "there will be tears" when its repeated by this giant wall of voices? It really gets me. This isn't my favorite Faux Paz cover, but it's a song I can't look away from.

14. Escape Room -- fromis_9

I'm a gg stan, so this was going to show up on here eventually. Next up, Chung Ha's "Roller Coaster" ?

15. Hold The Girl -- Rina Sawayama

Stole this rec from @nayeonline a while ago (thank you for sharing!!), and it really hit this month :) This song goes all out with the angst, and Rina Sawayama has more than enough vocal power to do it justice!

Five-Star Songs (& Albums) This Month:

Ahora y Aquí -- Ramon Mirabet, Bely Basarte (bely basarte is two-for-two in 2024's five-star songs lists, and wow is it deserved)

DNA -- Yena (i have no idea what about this song makes it so perfect for me, but i love it 100x more than "good morning" for some reason?? it just hits SO hard)

Pirate Radio* -- Jean Dawson (okay i'm actually not a huge fan of dawson's voice, but this instrumental is too wonderful to leave off the list. i watched & enjoyed school spirits on netflix this month, and this is by far my favorite from the soundtrack! string instruments make my heart go BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and this song is just a delightful confection of them !!)

Vision -- G-IDLE (a sixth star added for that layering where someone's murmuring underneath the whispery vocals in the chorus??????? like it should NOT sound as good as it does but here we are ?????)

Prenderle Fuego a Todo -- Andrea Santiago (i want to start including albums on here, mostly to get myself to listen to more albums all the way through! i've been obsessed with a few songs from this album for years now, but i finally listened to the whole thing this month--and it's even more wonderful as a complete set. the CLOSING SONG ?? I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE SPENT YEARS OF MY LIFE IGNORING IT. when i'm listening to andrea santiago's music, i see the world with completely new eyes, and this album captures that wanderlust, an emotion i've actually never felt without help from music, even in its slow moments.)

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Make It Right (Season 2) Edition

TW: suicidal ideation, suicide attempt

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. I’ve covered Love Sick, SOTUS, Make It Right (season 1), and Together With Me so far, and today I offer my thoughts on Make It Right, season 2.]

Alright! Like I mentioned last week in my analysis of Together With Me, this review of Make It Right, season 2, is out of order chronologically from my watchlist (pasted below), as I mixed up the air dates of TwM and MIR2 -- MIR2 aired before Together With Me. I do have some quick thoughts on what I saw in TwM that may have been inspired by MIR2 -- we’ll get to that later in this post.

I’ve been noodling a lot on how I want to frame out my thoughts on this gorgeous second season of Make It Right -- and to focus in general on why this series hasn’t gotten the kind of historical love that I think it ABSOLUTELY deserves. Separately and recently, I’ve been feeling very wiggly and bummed out about what’s happening in BL fandom by way of episodes of Step By Step being edited to remove meta commentary about shipping culture and the BL industry -- and it made me wonder whether there are points to be made about shipping culture regarding MIR and its historical significance. The absolutely wonderful @miscellar​ has noted for me that MIR gave rise at least to Thai teenage actors participating in this culture for the first time. (Thank you for all the conversations, @miscellar​!)

The whole Step By Step debacle last week got me heated. But I think, after VERY helpful and calming conversations with @bengiyo​ and @lurkingshan​ (THANK YOU, MY DEAR FRIENDS!), that the general historical regard for MIR is not directly related to a criticism of whole-scale shipping culture per se. (I’ll save all this shipping criticism for another post and another day, very much informed in part by this incredible post by @absolutebl​ from last year.)

Despite all of this, I think there’s something here about the ways that the majority BL fandom accept the complications of queer life, and depictions of queer joy and emotional equity, that I want to pick apart later in this post.

Before I do that: let me offer some critical thoughts on the second season as a way of addressing pitfalls that may have held MIR2 back in the historical reminiscence of respect and/or nostalgia that other shows, like Love Sick and SOTUS, have around them. Thanks to @lurkingshan​ for talking this through in part with me. 

1) After reading more about MIR on Tumblr and Reddit, it really seems to me like the number one reason why people haven’t glommed more onto MIR/MIR2 is because of the youth of the actors and the heat of the show’s few intimate scenes -- which, as I wrote in my post on the first season, is interesting to me, because teenagers have sex in real life. At least for me, the youth of the actors did not make me uncomfortable, and in conversations with @bengiyo​, it was amazing to me to see queer love BEING ENJOYED by young men -- and in @bengiyo​‘s paraphrased words, to see those young men not suffer in their societies and families because of that queer love. (Let me also reference Perth Nakhun’s recent video about the BL industry and his joy about acceptance in shows.)

2) @lurkingshan​, I agree with you that there are MANY editing fumbles in this second season, particularly related to how sex was portrayed between classmates Lukmo and Yok (Yok, who very strongly defended his out sexuality to his mother in the first season). New Siwaj and his side couples, man. Rodtang and Nine still confound me. But I agree with @lurkingshan​ when she stated to me that the weirdly filmed and edited sex scenes -- which, I think, were likely included as a way to hew closely to MIR’s canon novel, but that is ONLY a guess -- undermined Yok’s actual very emotional, VERY beautifully acted journey in realizing that a bisexual Lukmo was falling in love with him (Yok), a very out and gay young man. Sex scenes that included mortars and pestles (yep), weird pacing, food metaphors...it didn’t seem to work, and undermined Mo and Yok’s emotional journey. But I really don’t know if I’m missing something by way, again, of cultural reference back to the canon novel. 

The other major editing fumble that @lurkingshan​ and I both noted is that interspersed in Frame’s tending to Book after a major emotional disaster for Book, is that Frame seems to have gotten a tattoo of their names that he then gets removed -- but we never saw him get the tattoo in the first place, and the reason why he gets it removed isn’t consistent with the ending of the series.

Many of you know New Siwaj better than me (A Boss and a Babe just ended, and I heard there were thoughts about the ending), and I’m going to get to know him more later in my watchlist. I know he likes to throw in all this side couple action without always tying knots eloquently. I’d say again (sorry @bengiyo​!) that the RodtangNine ship was unnecessary, and that while Mo and Yok were fine -- that Yok’s trust journey to Mo was really the most compelling part of the ship, and that was about it.

All of what I’ve just stated can, and has, definitely held MIR/MIR2 back in the historical regard, like I said earlier.

BUT.

I will make a VERY STRONG ARGUMENT, as I did for the first season, that it is ABSOLUTELY WORTH watching through that stuff to get to the gold of the second season. Overall, this second season gutted me. 

While I’ve mentioned New Siwaj as a director and screenwriter throughout both of my MIR posts, I haven’t talked enough about Cheewin Thanamin, New’s collaborator on both seasons of MIR. I posted a lot during my late-night blogs about how Cheewin and his character in the show, Christina, were an ABSOLUTE WONDER in this second season. This is Cheewin/Christina comforting Yok after Yok worries about Lukmo’s investment in their relationship:

Imagine watching this after Love Sick and SOTUS -- two shows that did not address being gay. And then we have Christina/Cheewin going right to the heart of it in MIR.

I bring up Cheewin not only because his Christina was a wonder, but because he directed the much more recent Bed Friend -- and, as I noted in my post-watch flip-out after finishing MIR2 -- that I saw a LOT of MIR2 in Bed Friend and vice versa.

Not to spoil anything, but not only do the two main ships, TeeFuse and FrameBook, have happy endings -- but they have emotionally complicated journeys to get to those endings during the second season. 

As @absolutebl​ has noted often, the second season of MIR is even more chaotic than the first. (If I’m doing a Bed Friend comparison here, I’ll think of episodes four/five/six, where Uea’s trauma seems to just pile up, and us viewers are like -- how the HELL are they gonna get out of this.)

Tee and Fuse are confirmed in love, but Fuse does NOT leave his girlfriend, Jean. Frame and Book are confirmed as a couple, but Book is held back by an unrevealed insecurity, that turns out to be related to a sex tape he was unwittingly filmed in by an ex-boyfriend -- and then the video is released to the audience of his high school classmates.

Fucking chaos. My dear man, Fuse -- bro should have DEFINITELY LEFT JEAN earlier in the series, because Jean was DEFINITELY TWO-TIMING HIM with a dude she was calling HER BROTHER, that Fuse had NEVER MET in the course of their relationship (?!). 

And, poor, sweet, patient Tee. Tee, being courted by dudes all around him. Tee who, after FINALLY being able to be with Fuse, after Fuse FINALLY comes to his senses -- Tee holds himself back, and gives himself the space to recognize what’s happening between him and Fuse. He sees what’s happening with his mom and her new boyfriend, and how the new boyfriend’s behavior might be a little concerning -- but that the boyfriend decides to ultimately hold himself responsible for his own behavior to make Tee’s mom happy and stable. And after all of that -- SEEING how his mom’s boyfriend will stabilize himself, SEEING how Fuse stabilizes himself -- Tee finally dives in with Fuse with love and commitment. GORGEOUS.

FrameBook. MY GUYS. Frame, head over HEELS in love with Book. Book, SWEET Book, holding back with secrets about his past. We learn that Book is very bisexual, having had a boyfriend in the past who filmed their sex. Book, questioning himself as a “good person” in the case the video got leaked, and Frame confirming with conviction that he would be at Book’s side if anything ever happened. The video gets leaked, and Book loses it. Frame is by his side as much as Book will allow it, with Book pushing Frame away constantly, to the point of a suicide attempt that Frame saves Book from. 

These are stories of unintended trauma. Uea’s life story in Bed Friend was one of unintended trauma. What New and Cheewin are showing us in MIR2 are the stories of trauma that arise from these young men -- these LOVELY, well-intentioned, queer young men -- FINDING THEMSELVES in a society that is DESIGNED by paradigms to be INFORMED by toxic masculinity, internalized and externalized homophobia, cishet societal prioritizations, and much more working against them.  

Fuse doesn’t leave Jean literally because he feels bad for her. Because society TELLS HIM he SHOULD feel bad for a girl who, what? Pretends to like him? Book is driven to a suicide attempt because a same-sex sex tape could bring down the careers of his demanding and absent parents, and could condemn him at school. Christina comforts Yok as Yok waits for Lukmo to get over his ex-girlfriend, with Christina saying to Yok, “Lukmo is not like us, Yok.”

This second season focused on how the bigger aspects of bigger society could have potentially held the guys back. Even after Tee and Fuse are very much a couple, they overhear homophobic comments in a cafe, and Fuse needs to pull Tee back. Fuse no longer has any reason to hold back his love for Tee, and he’s certainly not going to let social homophobia stop him, after the mistakes he went through with Jean. 

I didn’t realize what was happening by way of comparing Bed Friend to MIR2 until the last two episodes of MIR2. Remember that the last two episodes of Bed Friend were just joyful. (I mean, Pran’s dad gets his, and Uea’s mom freaks out, but whatever -- they ended in the right places for Uea and King.) (And, yachts.)

For me, the last two episodes of MIR2 slowed everything down into a burst of joy, like Bed Friend. The boys went to the beach. Cheewin took them to the water before he took Uea and King there in Bed Friend.

Book survived. He’s beyond thankful for Frame’s interventions and loyalty. 

Fuse has the most gorgeous confession to Tee.

They become boyfriends. Two months go by. Frame and Book are asked to model same-sex wedding photos (had we seen that yet in a Thai BL, in 2017?) And then Frame proposes -- like, actually proposes!

Besides that proposal, there were so many other moments, as I blogged about, in the last episode that really moved me, and again, took me back to Bed Friend. I’ll repeat myself from that last blog post and from earlier in this post:

I think what New and Cheewin did was VERY intentional in including stories of trauma. Make It Right was meant to show journeys to queer joy and emotional equity on behalf of young queer men -- young queer men JUST LIKE New and Cheewin themselves at the time they made MIR.

As I wrote in my final Bed Friend review, there were folks on the Bed Friend tag that wondered if Bed Friend needed the last two episodes. I strongly argue that the series ABSOLUTELY needed those episodes, to show the LOVE and JOY that had grown between Uea and King after everything they had gone through -- that queer men DESERVE JOY, even if, AND ESPECIALLY IF, they’ve gone through journeys of trauma at the hands of microsystemic and macrosystemic society that generally condemns queerness, and does not celebrate it.

Make It Right and Bed Friend showed that our boys can fight, win, and be happy. THEY CAN DO IT. THEY WILL NOT LET SOCIETY HOLD THEM BACK. 

Goddamn. We got two proposals in MIR2 and in Bed Friend, in a country that has not legalized same-sex marriage.

Both MIR/MIR2 and Bed Friend were marketed as high heat shows (thanks to @lurkingshan​ for this link!). Especially with Bed Friend, I think myself and other viewers were thrown with the subsequent trauma-informed storylines.

But I think that was Cheewin being fucking REAL. He was real about both his shows.

As compared to Love Sick and SOTUS -- MIR2 was complicated! It WAS chaotic. The dudes WERE young. Fuse was complicated vis à vis Jean. In real life, Ohm and Toey’s ship ended when Toey and his girlfriend were bullied by BL fans. That shit’s messed the fuck up.

I can absolutely understand why MIR/MIR2 doesn’t live in the history books as a must-watch, the way that folks have nostalgia for Love Sick or even SOTUS. MIR/MIR2 are not at all linear stories. (Not to say that Love Sick was linear -- but it treated its characters much more lightly.)

Cheewin gave us stories of how complicated queer joy is in the face of the social impediments that the queer community -- in this case, queer young men -- face. That brutality can be hard to deal with. It’s not fluffy. These are not fluffy storylines. Book WAS DEVASTATED by every single implication of his unwitting sex tape being released. Frame’s heart and patience WERE hurt by Book pushing him away. Tee’s patience WAS tested, time and time and time again. In real life, the OhmToey ship ended BECAUSE fans demanded a fluffy false reality to that ship continuing. Both on-screen and off, MIR carried complicated baggage.

I argue that for fans of BL, that Make It Right/Make It Right 2 are must-watches, because of that complicated nature. When Together With Me airs after Make It Right, we get streamlined down again -- ONE major couple, one focus, and guaranteed high heat, with only light (and sometimes toxic) side couples.

Make It Right instead lifts viewers into the complicated soup, and that’s where I like to live in my favorite dramas. I like trauma-informed storylines, because if a show is successful at unwinding them, the payoff is usually SO much more satisfying.

But trauma also hews to reality. If I see my beloved characters struggling AUTHENTICALLY? As a person, as a mom, as an ally, I’m all that more connected to what I’m watching. Because I know that trauma for young queer men, in REAL life, is VERY REAL, within the paradigms of homophobia and other societal guardrails that implicitly inform how we all behave vis à vis each other.

Make It Right, as I wrote in my review of the first season, was ultimately about young queer men making their lives RIGHT FOR THEMSELVES. Subsequently, Bad Buddy did it for its boys. Bed Friend did it for its boys.

Make It Right did it first. Make It Right, in its two seasons, took us through very detailed journeys that got our boys to their right places, in a most beautiful, sophisticated, and emotional way. 

I’m thankful that New and Cheewin took us on these journeys. Whatever biases we may hold against the series -- question those biases. Go on this journey with these characters, and celebrate young queer love, because it’s absolutely worth celebrating. 

[Oh man -- I’m a little wiped! Not only did MIR2 totally gut me, but I decided to take on Step By Step to join the protest against extreme BL fandom (lol), so I’m a little behind on starting SOTUS S. But that’s up next. And I know I’m also going to be taken for a spin over the course of the next two weeks with Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy/ATOTS, so expect a few delays from me on this project with those detours as well.

Talking to @bengiyo and @lurkingshan about Make It Right/Make It Right 2 was an UTTER pleasure. THANK YOU AGAIN, FRIENDS. I so appreciate you both taking the time to unwind with me.

Here’s the watchlist as it currently stands. One quick update: after @manogirl​​ suggested watching Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey 1 and 2 for its BL cuts/OffGun exposure, I’ve decided to add it to the list. @manogirl​​, you were totally right about my adding a ship focus with MaxTul/Together With Me before, so I’m following your lead again with OffGun. THANK YOU for your thoughts! (And thank GAWD those cuts are short!)

As ever, I’ll always take recommendations and thoughts from the fam!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) SOTUS (2016) (review here) 3) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017)   5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (watching) 7) Love By Chance (2018) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 11) TharnType (2019) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 15) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 16) 2gether (2020) 17) Still 2gether (2020) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 20) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 21) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 22) Not Me (2021-2022) 23) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 24) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 25) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 26) My School President (2022-2023) 27) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here)]

[lil-tumbles]

I'm really angry right now. TW Suicide, political transphobia

Okay so, any of my british mutuals will know about the ban on puberty blockers to treat gender dysphoria in England - and now Northern Ireland, too. And we all know about the complete lack of actual, credible, good quality evidence, the way the government actually explcitly went "we will not be listening to the voices of the community affected by this" and then turned around and only listened to transphobes, and most of all, we all know about the dangers of the puberty blocker ban, specifiically the increased suicide risk. This article from the goodlawproject talks about whistleblowers who revealed that there was a dramatic increase in suicides among trans people on the waiting list for the gender identity development service after the tories restricted trans healthcare back in 2020, after Bell vs Tavistock.

You may also have seen this article from July, re-published in a bunch of newspapers. I hadn't before today, and it's what's making me so angry, because I only have some basic knowledge about statistical testing, and even I know this is absolute bullshit. Let's break it down.

First off, it says Professor Appleby, the guy who conducted the review, found 12 suicides at the Tavistock over the three years before and three years after the restrictions. Becuase he only used Tavistock, and ignored attempted suicides. He did not look at the wider picture, and then tries to generalise his claims to the entire population of people needing puberty blockers?? babygirl that's just bad science. The whisteblowers told of a total of 17 (1 before, 16 after Bell vs Tavistock) from across the whole GIDS waiting list... an actually appropriate fucking sample that should have been investigated.

Oh, and that one? that was in seven years. Seven fucking years. And the 16 were in only three. Whereas this fool only looked at three years either side. This means he misses the larger picture - he ignores the very real possibility that increased transphobia leading up to government anti-trans action could have also accounted for the similarity in number. He should have also done a wider investigation into, say, the decade before the Bell case and subsequent anti-trans government action.

We've talked about neglect of the present (only focussing on patients at Tavistock), about neglect of the past (only looking at the three years before, so inable to see any kind of pattern), but we haven't talked about the future. This review's purpose wasn't just to tell us what happened (which it failed to do), it was to use the past to provide the government with an idea of the risk of their actions. This should also have included a risk assesment with projected figures on likely suicide rates following the puberty blocker ban. Now, I haven't been able to find the actual review, only news articles talking about it, so maybe he did do this, but it really doesn't seem like he did. The articles say that he was using these figures to find the statistical significance. This is a number that you use a statsitical test to work out following results of a clinical trial - may I remind the court that this was not a fucking clinical trial, this was real childrens' lives, what the actual fuck. But let's focus on the number itself for a sec. This man said that the rise from 5 to 7 suicides comparing the two sets of three years was normal fluctuation and is not statistically significant.

Using the numbers he had, that's true. Now, I don't have all the numbers he did, so I'm going to have to do a little guesswork, but here we go: I am going to use the chi-squared independent test, the '5' and '7' from Appleby's review, the figure '9000' for post-2020 number of patients (based on this), and the figure '5,000' for pre-2020 (based on this). My sources are far from perfect but it's all I can find so here we are.

The p-value from this data is "0.667099". Any value above 0.05 should be taken to be significant; this is not below 0.05, so yes, it is insignificant. (also, the X^2 Test Statistic is 0.185015, if anyone is interested).

The review could have been good for what it was really measuring: relationship between government action against trans rights on Tavistock patients. But the fact that it was supposed to be a review on the entire damn situation with puberty blockers means that it falls short and should not be used as evidence in this debate, let alone generalised to such a degree and brandished about by news outlets and the government as proof that trans activists are dangerous for talking abotu the relationship between suicide and lack of access to puberty blockers.

[songofthesibyl]

“Even for an immortal, there was not enough time in life to waste it on hatred. On feeling it and putting it into the world.”

—Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin

So, no one cares what I think, my blog has no reach, but I just wanted to talk about social media, and fandoms, and the A Court of Thorns and Roses series.

I read the series last year, because I wanted to read a contemporary fantasy novel that dealt with faerie lore, and this series had 4 1/2 stars on amazon and was continually in print for a number of years, so I was intrigued and decided to give it a try. I don’t have tiktok and don’t follow book accounts on social media.

I loved the faerie lore in the first book, but made the mistake of looking up fan art, and the direction of the series was spoiled for me. While I enjoyed the series, and read the original trilogy fairly quickly, there were parts that bothered me, or that didn’t make sense—largely because of the majority fan interpretation that didn’t match how I experienced the series. I definitely got Twilight, Buffy, and Vampire Diaries vibes. For me, it was clearly in the dark fantasy genre, and the insertion of real world values didn’t quite make sense to me the way it was done. 

So, it was nice to find comments in reviews that felt the same. On here, and elsewhere. I was very isolated at the time, and this was a way to find a community. I was part of a fandom for the first time, writing fanfic for the first time. 

But this other side—I don’t mean pro- or anti-, I mean that really nasty, bullying, bizarre side of the fandom—became more and more prominent. I just never usually inserted myself in it.

This is social media. This is internet comments. This is human nature to bully and pick on others while sitting on the toilet at work. It’s nothing new.

But it bothers me. It’s always bothered me that people take time out of their days to be like this. And I get why the majority of it is done—boredom, fun, a distraction. But it still bothers me.

And because this series tackles such serious subjects as sexual assault, trauma, mental health, abuse—those throwaway, bullying, trolling comments take on a very disturbing tone.

If you disagree there are the usual epithets; using the need to seek therapy as an insult, attacking someone’s looks, family—even if no pictures or info are known. Telling people to kill themselves.

But because of the insertion of an abuse/DV “very special episode” aspect to the story, the comments become specifically about abuse—so if you feel a certain way about a fictional character, you are an “abuse apologist,” or want to be abused.

The other day, someone I know was arguing in a post on Instagram by a couple’s book account, with thousands of followers. The post was about Tamlin, the linchpin of the bizarre nature of this fandom. She disagreed with the post, liked the character more than they did. She argued using points from the book, but they fundamentally disagreed—fine. This person can handle themselves. But the other person said something in their discussion that I’ve seen before, that bothers me:

“I hope you find your Tamlin in the world.”

The person who said this dislikes the character. It was meant as a passive-aggressive, dismissive comment. You think he’s so great, I hope you find a person that is horrible and abusive in real life.

And it bothered me, and I knew it wasn’t worth it, but I just didn’t want to let it go this time. This person was an adult, not an adolescent. So I said it bothered me, that I had seen that comment before and I didn’t like its implications. I waited for a response—and saw that I was blocked. I made no accusations, said nothing personal about them—just that, just because one disagrees about a fictional character in a fantasy world doesn’t mean they want an unstable, abusive partner in real life. That comments like that bothered me. (Probably more than the person I was defending.) But it bothered me. And I got blocked, for the first time.

And that bothered me even more. Did they think they were being attacked? I don’t know. But the comment is probably still there, and unchallenged, and they’ll say it again, as so many others have. And that’s the way fandoms are. But it bothers me. It bothers me that, after dipping my toes into a fandom for the first time, into being social, this is what it all leads to. And it’s not even exceptional. This is how it always is.

And, despite some frustrations, I enjoyed the books, or I wouldn’t have kept reading them. And it made me want to reach out, and be social, when I hadn’t for a long time. But this part will always make me extremely anxious, and it’s exhausting, and it’s disheartening when this is what it all leads to. That books that speak about not spreading hate can lead to such nasty, disturbing, bullying behavior. It’s not fun. And I don’t really want to be a part of it anymore.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

2022 Writing Review

Tagged by: @ttimbradford on the LAST DAY OF THE YEAR because she wants me to scramble

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 14

2. Word count posted for the year: don't make me say it 386,717

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1, The Witcher

4. Pairings: Buddie and Geraskier

5. Story with the most: 

kudos: The Best Lie is a Truth (My Best Mask is My Face) - 2,149 bookmarks: same as above - 997 comment threads: Let My Ink Stain Your Pages - 671

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): This is a difficult question. I'm proud of a few stories I worked on this year - Direct Deposit and Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones) had me pushing myself as a writer and delving into topics I knew wouldn't necessarily be popular. However I think I have to go with In the Gray You are Golden, one of those magical moments where the inspiration hits like something divine, the words flow like water, and it all comes together.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): Don't Play Games (Come My Way) - I'm a perfectionist and while I can't quite articulate why, I don't feel like I quite nailed this story the way I should have. Like I just missed the bulls-eye.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: @mistmarauder never fails to delight me and make my day with her in-depth comments and general screeching. I think her responses to Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones) and In the Gray You are Golden are my favorites, actually, although I know Curl Up In My Heart and Let Me Keep You is probably her favorite of mine from this year (no one is immune to cat!Buck).

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Honestly, writing I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See was more of a challenge than I expected. I just had a lot going on in my real life so finding time and focus to work on it was difficult.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Buck babysitting Chris during the tsunami and while Eddie goes to fight club in I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See didn't come to me ahead of time - it just happened as I was writing and I literally stopped and stared into the distance for a second in delighted surprise.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: Oof. This was a tough one. Probably a tie between the entire segment of Eddie's thoughts when he's shot in Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones) - the fic wasn't quite where I wanted it to be until I wrote that segment and then went back and sprinkled those quotes throughout the fic, turning the fic into one long flashback (which the reader doesn't realize until they reach the shooting). A small excerpt is here:

The thing he never told anyone is when his lover was unnamed and fed from him all he thought about was love. Love is poured into his mouth and he swallows and he b r e a t h e s.

The other would be frankly the entirety of In the Gray You are Golden but I really liked how I incorporated the tsunami/Eddie Begins into the fic with the flash flood and how I wrote it happening. I got a lot of comments saying how much the last few lines hit them like a gut punch and I'm so proud of that:

Christopher’s mouth is right at Buck’s ear. “Dad?” Buck starts shaking. He clenches his entire body to get it to stop. He shakes his head. Christopher is a child of the wasteland. He knows how to be silent when he cries.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I wrote situations where there's a lot of trauma and emotions going on (including during sex) and got a bit darker in that then I usually do, I wrote a couple tropes I hadn't thought I'd ever write or hadn't written before (such as a Zombie Apocalypse AU), I dipped my toe into HTML coding for the emails in I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See, and I incorporated poetry into a fic with Eddie's mental landscape as he's shot in Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones) (yes fun fact I approached that segment as a poem).

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I hope to continue to find new and interesting situations to play with for my annual Halloween fics.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): @extasiswings who always reassured and encouraged me when I was doubting myself - and of course she co-wrote A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) with me.

Can't believe I almost forgot @catdadeddie whose Castle AU moodboard inspired me to write a fic that ended up being over 100k words long goddamn you Nova.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: If it did, I wouldn't be admitting it.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: If you don't make yourself take breaks to recharge your brain is going to make you and trust me, you will not like how that goes. Give yourself time to rest.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: Nothing in the fanfic world. I actually woke up with ideas for next Halloween and wrote them down so I wouldn't forget them, but those won't be until October which is a full ten months away.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@extasiswings @kitkatpancakestack @tripleaxeldiaz

[larrydoinglaundry]

2022 writing self-evaluation✍️

Thank you @greenblueish for tagging me 💜

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4

2. Word count posted for the year: 189 907 (woah)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Larry

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: love is a word, you gave it a name

Bookmarks: love is a word, you gave it a name

Comments: love is a word, you gave it a name

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I mean it has to be love is a word you gave it a name because that was a journey and somehow I finished it😭 and obviously because I took a biiig bite with that. The whole gender aspect, internalized homophobia, mental health issues, falling in love... there was a lot going on and three chapters in I wanted to give up so bad. But I didn't !

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

this does in no mean I am not proud of this work, I just wish I would have been able to write more for it. so it has to be I'm insatiable it's all your fault

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

I love every single comment on ao3, I am beyond grateful for every single person who reached out in dms on twitter, and everyone who keeps hyping my fic up.

I can't share a favorite, I have so many.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Chapter 3 in love is a word. It was constant writing, deleting, crying, writing, deleting, crying... 💀 there wasn't even anything particularly difficult to write in that chapter ! It just didn't seem to flow at all. I had never wanted to give up so bad.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Didn't really surprise me per se, but I finally dared to put cunningulus and vaginal sex in my abo 😂 I had been hesitant to be very descriptive about it before, being too worried it turns my readers off. But I loved every second of it ! Pussy, folds, lips... 🤭 and judging by the comments and kudos, people didn't hate it.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

"I won’t forget you. And that you were, will always be, my first love, and my baby. My sweetest dove," Louis murmurs, fingers softly digging onto Harry's jaw. With a soft smile, he whispers, "Will always be my bumblebee."

Harry should be able to say something equally sweet, something just as beautiful, but he can’t, because his brain is short circuiting, and his throat is burning again with the sobs that will probably never end.

Much to his relief, Louis sees it all, and chooses to kiss him to spare him from having to come up with something to say.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

hmmm. I think my general skills as a storyteller developed a lot. I feel like on some parts IIIAYF is written way better than LIAW. And while I haven't published my wip yet, I think for the most part it's a lot better than anything I put out this year.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope, again, that I could stop being so hard on myself but that will probably never happen.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@stylesthebrave my beloved, and everyone I met on twitter this year.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

hehehehe. Always. Yes. Something. One shall never know what.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don't worry about cliches, stories that have already been written, authors that are getting more attention... The story that's planned in your head is unique, and no one else can write it the way you do. Your mind is beautiful.

And most importantly, your worth is not measured by statistics.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Finish the sequel to LIAW ! Hallelujah ! And starting my cliche fic heheh.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has already done this so I don't know :(

[piastrinorris]

rj's big sappy 2022 recap

when i started this dumb little blog, on july 9th, i was midway through writing an unambiguous love and rife with other ideas for more fics that i finally decided to bite the bullet and start writing. i'd been out of the fanfic writing game for a long time, and as a day 1 stranger things fan i knew how big the fandom already was, even before s4 came out in its entirety. but i was inspired to Just Start Writing Anyway. not to worry about notes, because yeah, it's oversaturated as all hell, but that means if numbers don't do well, there's an excuse, right? and i can just enjoy writing and posting and seeing what sticks.

but now here we are, nearly half a year later, with over 1.5k of you (!!!!!!!) and i am rejuvenated, i am inspired and i have never felt more love. so i'm gonna get real sappy and share that love with you all.

first and foremost, to the og's, @denim-mixtapes + @fanatictypist, i can't say anything more to you that i haven't already in the last nine years, other than thank you for reigniting the flame under my ass to get me here again. i love you both eternally.

to the other half of my brain, my platonic soulmate, @keerysquinn, i still cannot believe we had matching urls saved. i love us so much. thank you for being my muse, constantly inspiring and encouraging me, and making me feel less alone in this insane expanse of a fandom. thank you for always being my number 1 hype person, and being the best sister wife (gn) to our beloved scrunkly.

and on that note, to @bowerquinn and @hellfirehoe; the immediate friendship, guidance and support you both showed me from the moment i first started talking to you both is something truly special. i have never felt more welcome in a community than the way you made me feel from the moment we "met", and never more loved than through the absolute ferocity with which you guys have my back. i love the three of you immensely. slut squad 4 lyf <3

after having been in the [redacted] fandom for so long, i'd really lost touch in what i used to love the most about fandom, and on the surface there's so much flack that gets thrown around for what is and isn't "canon", what's "true" and what isn't, and so i had given up on my old love of crackshipping until anna and @heroeddiemunson once again reinvigorated new ways to interpret my favourite media since, i wanna say my old glee days?? i forgot how fun it is to just take two characters and explore their dynamics with little to no canon context. and that's had my creative juices flowing consistently for months now. i just have so much fun thinking about these things, and sharing them with people who get it, it truly never gets old.

speaking of bouncing ideas back and forth, i can't talk about the shit that's changed my life this year and not talk about busy streets and busy lives. while i've had stranger things-related fics that have reached insane numbers, and i am so very grateful for that, the small and mighty community that bsbl has formed is something i hold very close to my heart. i never thought i had it in me to write a longform story. to write believable angst, or slow burn, or even original characters that people would care about. that's why i've always only ever written fanfic. but the comments i get from bsbl chapters truly make me believe that i'm capable of far more than i'd thought before i started it. thank you for loving it as much as i do. <3

(also, while i do sincerely love and appreciate every sort of commentary on it, i do have to give an extra special dose of love to @reysorigins because their reviews on @reysorigins-library are, honest to whatever's out there, some of the most genuinely sincere ones to receive. seeing your own words recited back to you, singled out to praise them, is validating and inspiring in ways i can't put into words. thank you for what you do, rey <3)

it was never even meant to be the insanity that it now is. it started off as a dumb oneshot idea that i had no idea what direction it was headed in. then an inside joke in the jq server inspired me, and many others, to start bouncing more and more ideas about what ralph would be like in the modern world, and so a fic was born. a fic that's only 6 chapters deep so far and already 52k+ words. that's a whole novel!!! i daren't tag everyone who's contributed to bsbl bc a) it'd take so much searching back through multiple channels to make sure i included absolutely everyone, and i'd feel terrible if i missed anyone out; and b) if you're there for that, you're here anyway lol. so to everyone in the jq server, thank you for giving me the gift of the story that never stops giving back.

there are so many other friends i've made through the camaraderie of the writing community. again, at first it seemed oversaturated, like i was going to be just a drop in the ocean. but actually, that's not the case. it just means there's always going to be people who are willing to listen to your headcanons and hype them up with you. it's given me the confidence to - and i can't word this in any other way but i promise it isn't self-deprecating - just be really fucking annoying about the things that i enjoy. i've managed to find a corner of the internet that loves the things that i love as much as i do and in as big a way as i do.

and the inspiration i get from new friends goes even beyond writing! i've even been inspired to start learning how to make gifs now?? and not just compiling frames and putting them together, i'm learning all about colouring and rendering and blending scenes together. i've never been very visually creative, but i have so much to learn and i'm so excited to.

it's my 2023 goal to try and be more of an active friend to my mutuals. but i'm bad at reaching out lol. i would tag all of the mutuals i want to get to know better for accountability's sake but a) again i may forget people and feel real bad about it, and b) i don't want to annoy anyone with unwanted pings. but if we're moots, i am always down to talk more!!

2022 was always going to be a big year for me anyway. a couple of weeks ago, i celebrated a decade of my "second" life. but i've done other big things this year, too. i've been learning welsh and getting in touch with my own heritage. i've started to get over my fear of learning to drive. i applied for a promotion at work, didn't get it, but most importantly, i didn't let it get me down. it's just motivated me to get to somewhere better, where the talents i KNOW i have can actually be appreciated. if you'd have told me from ten years ago that, i'd have decked you lmao.

i couldn't have imagined at the start of the year that i'd pick up the one creative hobby i thought i was fully burned out from. but here we are. thank you for the last half-year-ish. whether you've been here for five months or five minutes, i appreciate your presence regardless. <3

[larryyouknow]

2022 writing self-evaluation✍️

I was tagged by @greenblueish and @boosbabycakes28, thanks, I loved reading yours!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 2

2. Word count posted this year: 53 333

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 1D

4. Pairings: Larry, because you know... no love is as pure

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Where Words Fail, Music Speaks (but the second story I’ve published just yesterday, so this was not a fair game really)

Bookmarks: Where Words Fail, Music Speaks

Comments: Where Words Fail, Music Speaks

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I’m really proud that I have finished my second story Warm chilling because I was worried I couldn’t do it (it looked like it).

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

If I wasn’t okay with it I wouldn’t publish it.

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

I honestly love every comment (which isn’t hateful). I mean it! It’s a confirmation that someone read it and it always makes me smile.

9. A time when writing was really hard:

This year was one big struggle. Nothing seemed to come easy. I had massive block during both of the stories. I wanted to drop from both of the fests, I just hate not to deliver when I promised I would. I got blessed with understanding and patient people around me (friend, mods, colab partner) so I finished, and I’m glad I did. In the end, I think both of the stories are quite good.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Probably Louis the violinist because I didn’t know much about violin or playing instrument in general before writing this story.

11. Favourite excerpt of your writing:

I don’t know. I like when I manage to describe the scene which holds some emotions - I usually spend a lot of time writing these because I want something specific out of it. Of course, I never know if it comes through as I wanted… but this is probably the main reason why I even started writing.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I don’t know how to measure this. I haven’t achived more success (kudos) than the year before. But I think I made peace with my expectations. I don’t really stress when I publish a story anymore. And when I got a bad comment - I didn’t think about deleting the story.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I don’t know if I will continue writing.

14. Who was you greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Few people, they know who they are. They made me not give up.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

I feel like my life is my writing, everything has some connection, not that the situations happened exactly as I have written them, but the feelings, some little, meaningless details, songs, or melodies mentioned… maybe I’m a cheater, just channeling all the mess I carry in my mind, not really inventing something groundbreaking.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don’t be scared, enjoy it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Nothing’s ahead.

18: Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: I love reading these recaps and other writers thoughts, so if you see this, consider yourself being tagged (tag me, so I can read yours), I’ve already seen some but I will try with @allwaswell16, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed, @zanniscaramouche, @kingsofeverything, @fallinglikethis, @mercurial-madhouse, @noellehenrymain, @falsegoodnight, @lululawrence, @londonfoginacup, @louandhazaf

[bravetemptation]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2022

It’s December 31st, and here we are. What a YEAR. Let’s take a look:

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 7

2. Word Count posted for the year: 247,189 words (holy shit 😅)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry/Louis; Liam Payne/Oli Wright; Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

6. Kudos: 491 - From This Moment On

7. Bookmarks: 149 - From This Moment On

8. Comments: 58 - From This Moment On

9. Work I’m most proud of and why: A Little Twist of Fate - this fic is so long, probably one of the longest I’ve ever written, and it’s fantasy, which is my favorite genre. Even though it has the least interaction, I don’t think I wrote a better one than that this year.

10. Work I’m least proud of and why: I don’t really have one - I think everything I wrote this year was pretty good 😂

11. Share or describe a favorite review you received: every comment I get is a blessing - I don’t usually get a lot of them, so when someone takes the time out to even say three words about how the fic impacted them, I feel very pleased.

12. A time when writing was really really hard: I would have to say in June and July, when I had four WIPs going at the same time, which my beta will tell you I NEVER DO. I’m a one fic at a time type of person. I couldn’t figure out which one to write or where to take any of them. Thankfully they all got done and published 😂 that and right after my first Harry residency show when I got Covid and it knocked me out for two weeks 😂

13. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: All of the Zouis content I did in A Little Twist of Fate, because it came off so realistic that @daggerandrose thought it sounded like a zouis fic and I was completely unaware that I could even write any pairing other than Larry.

14. A favorite excerpt of your writing: The first time Harry and Louis touch properly in Your Gift Is Wasted On Me:

“Come on, come on,” he heard Harry mutter, and he completely agreed. But finally, they were doing it.

“And the winner …”

Louis held his breath.

“Of this season of the Great British Bake Off is …”

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, squeezing it tightly as he waited the agonizing three seconds.

“Marge!”

“Fucking yes!” Louis yelled, jumping off the sofa and dancing around. Niall was on his feet too, but as Louis turned to Harry, he found him sitting there, his mouth open slightly, staring at the screen as though he wasn’t even seeing it.

“Harry, what …”

“You held my hand.”

15. How did you grow as a writer this year? I allowed myself to just write. In years past, I kind of did maybe two stories a year just because I wanted them to be different, I wanted the perfect prompt, or I was just lazy as hell. But this year I was pushing out fics every few months and it felt GREAT.

16. How do you hope to grow next year? I hope to possibly enter a fest or two so that I can get a little more traffic on my fics (as well as querying in real life for my finished book and finish writing the new one I’m working on - that’s going to be super exciting)

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer? (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc) Every person who helped me work through plot holes and major mistakes and read my work before it was even out - especially @sunflowersometimes @daggerandrose @chloehl10 . They’re my main source of motivation ❤️

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? Not specifically, though I like to think I put a piece of myself into every fic and every character, and if you know me really well, you’ll be able to catch it. But I wrote a fantasy fic which is literally what I want my real life to be so I THINK I’ll go with that 😂

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers? Write. Write every day, even if it’s only three pages or three sentences or three words. Write from your heart. Don’t let the interaction - or lack thereof - of others dictate how you feel about your work. Ask other writers to beta for you - it’s more fun when you work with someone else.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? I have several projects in the works: The Dear Devoted Delicate Series (one mini fic for every year they’ve been together); If There’s No You (an amnesia fic); If We Can’t Stop The Bleeding (a vampire fic); and Place In Me (a 1D reunion fic). I’m sure there will be more but that’s all I really have planned at the moment. Hopefully you’ll get to see them ALL 😘

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. Anyone who wants to do this can - I’m sure most of you have already been tagged 💞

[wishingforatypewriter]

Year in Review

Thanks @nyamadermont for tagging me!

1. Number of stories posted to Ao3: I posted and/or updated 20 stories in 2022.

2. Word count in 2022: 80,023

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Legend of Korra and Avatar: The Last Airbender

4. Pairings: Linzolt, Linzin, Baavira, and Tyzula

5. Stories with the most:

Kudos: The Weight of Empire (Baavira)

Bookmarks: The Successor (Kuvira & Opal)

Comment threads:  The Successor

Word count: The Successor

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): I think I'm proudest—or at least fondest—of An Armada of Shoulds, It's probably my favorite Linzolt thing that I've written. I'm proud of it because it was my first attempt at writing from Zolt's point of view and I think I did a pretty good job with it, considering we only see him twice or so in the source material.

7.   Work I’m least proud of (and why): Agni Kais was supposed to be a grand, sweeping Tyzula reunion fic that touched upon the origins of the Republic City triads, but in the end I only wrote one chapter, and Azula wasn't even in it.

8.   Share or describe a favorite review you received: I adore every single comment that every single reader takes the time to write! It always makes my day when I see a notification for one in my email! But I guess my favorites lately have been the ones where readers tell me I've convinced them to ship something they either hadn't considered or were ambivalent towards before.

9.   A time when writing was really, really hard: Alwaysssss! But especially as I tried to work on Chapter 17 of The Successor (and still haven't succeeded in finishing it). I was trying to get inside Opal's head and write from her perspective, but it just wasn't working, so I decided to take a break from it for a while.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I enjoyed writing Tenzin in Tether more than I thought I would! Also, if someone told me back in 2020 that I'd become a Zolt stan, I probably wouldn't have believed them.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

"Lin and Tenzin were very different, but with work, they worked. He liked his curry puffs mild and with mung beans, and she liked hers filled with five-spice pigchicken, and it was fine—so long as she didn’t try to kiss him too soon after dinner. Sure, he wouldn’t come with her to Kwong’s Cuisine or the ostrich-horse racetracks, and she wouldn’t meditate on Air Temple Island or help brush the bison, but they met in the middle, with walks in the park and afternoon spars and simple meals at mom and pop restaurants. 

It was enough that most days Lin could forget the soulmark she’d been born with—a swirling flame on the fleshy pad at the base of her thumb—or the nonbender’s fingerprint that had appeared on his shoulder three years back. Most days the soul bond hummed faint as a song on the radio two rooms away, vaguely there, but not immediate enough to command her attention.

Today was not one of those days," from Marked, my Linzolt soulmate AU.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I tried to branch out a little by writing different tropes like a coffee shop au and a soulmate au.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: This year I'd like to work on my emotional range as a writer. I write a lot of fluff, and I'd like to branch out into some other fic categories like angst and hurt/comfort. In short, I'm trying to make y'all cry this year!

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@orangepanic is such a prolific and talented writer (and also really nice and supportive of other writers)! Reading her work always inspires me to get back to my wips!

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I think my lifelong love of city life has shown up in some of my Linzolt fics.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Write what honestly makes you happy, not what you think you should be writing, if that makes sense.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have about three more chapters planned for The Successor and they will get written this year! I'm also really excited to keep working on House of the Flaming Boar, my au story in which married Linzolt end up as Mako and Bolin's foster parents.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: Anyone who'd like to participate!