#my punishment (technical skill practice)

[jkpng]

band drawing update: taehyung looks so fucking cool i have to make sure i finish this so i can show off taehyung. jungkook looks a lil weird and jimin is fucked up and needs work but taehyung looked good IMMEDIATELY 😤💪 i feel like ill be more likely to finish if i yap abt it here. accountability yipee

[the20thangel]

Father and Son Bonding

Summary: This was a request from someone: " May I request something with Targaryen reader and Benjicot Blackwood? Benji is getting along with Damon, and (God, I can't get this out of my head) they are talking about how much they hate the greens, and Benji calls Aegon a c**t. (His voice is so deep and hot.) But the reader is just happy they are getting along because Damon is the most important person to her other than her mother."

Word count: 1030

Tags: not much ?? cursing ??

As Aleera Targaryen commanded her dragon Vermithor to land near the ruins of Harrenhal, She saw her father Daemon come out to meet her and her party arriving. Aleera was the eldest daughter of Prince Daemon and Queen Rhaenyra. Albit a secret to those who were not close family. She was born with the typical Targaryen platinum hair, straight like her father’s and her grandfather’s Baelon indigo eyes. She was the epitome of a Targaryen princess. She was a proud dragon rider, knowing how to sword fight since she was young. Who practically commanded her father to teach her since Ser Crispy Cole refused to, stating that ladies fighting was a disgrace in the eyes of the seven. She could care less about the seven as a believer in the Fourteen Flames.  

Walking out of the castle, Daemon looked up to see the bronze fury, always glad to see his daughter. He frowned, seeing someone behind his daughter; that person was Benjicot Blackwood, the new lord of Raventree Hall and technically his good-son. Aleera and Benjicot have been married for over a year, and how they became married caused a little drama in the court. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Viserys, in a last stitch to bring his family together, proposed that Aleera and Aemond marry. Rhaenyra and Alicent were against it, but Visery was deadset about marrying his second son and oldest granddaughter. Aleera stated she would rather feed herself to the Cannibal than marry her uncle. Seeing that her grandsire would not budge, she decided to take manners into her own hands. Going around the seven kingdoms and told any eligible man that anybody who could beat her in a duel would have her hand in marriage. Many would try, but all would fail as she grew disappointed and desperate to find someone worthy. Then, she met Benjicot, who had never placed himself in the group of men for her hand. 

It was only by coincidence she saw him training with Oscar and Kermit Tully. Seeing his bloodlust and wicked sword skills, she grew interested. Depending on who you ask, she insisted or commanded that Benjicot duel with her. Benjicot tried to decline but was ultimately pushed by Oscar and Kermit, each of who tried but failed to win the hand of the princess. As the lord and princess dueled, Aleera felt the rush that no other man had ever made her feel before. It all happened by chance that Aleera accidentally slipped on mud, allowing Benjicot to win the duel. He used that excuse not to ask her hand, but Aleera only smiled and said that no other man had come even as close as he had, asking him if he would give the pleasure of marrying her. With the encouragement of the two lads, Benjicot smiled and accepted the match. 

The two held a fast ceremony with a Septon unifying them in front of the Weirwood Tree with Alysanne Blackwood and the Tully brothers as witnesses. Once the news arrived at the Red Keep, King Viserys could not annul the marriage, not when there was proof of the couple consummating the marriage and parchment from the septon who married them. Aemond grew furious, demanding that the Lord of House Blackwood be punished for taking his wife. This caused Viserys to scold his son in front of the court and ask his granddaughter and husband to present themselves to him. Aleera arrived proudly wearing House Blackwood colors along with her husband, much to Aemond and the greens' ire. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Aleera and Benjicot stepped down from the Bronze fury, Aleera smiled at her father but quickly frowned at his deshelved state. As Benjicot greeted and bowed to the Prince, he noticed the prince’s state, glancing at his wife, who nodded; maybe Harrenhal was haunted. Following Daemon to the main room, a small feast would be held for the princess and her lord husband. As the feast progressed and the wine was consumed, many men, including Prince Daemon and Benjicot, began to joke around. Someone mentioned how Benjicot had punched a lone Braken after the Battle of Burning Mill. Aleers snorted into her cup; her husband always had a short fuse regarding Brackens. Daemon tauntly asked why the current generation of Brakens and Blackwoods hate each other. 

“Well, they just declared for the greens, my prince, showing us the true colors.” Stated Benjicot as he stared down the prince. 

Daemon raised an eyebrow silently, asking for elaboration. He noticed his daughter smile and shake her head fondly at her husband. It seemed his daughter truly enjoyed her husband's company. 

“The Brakens are thieves thinking they are owed something that doesn’t belong to them, just like the little thief Aemond “one eye” is. They are also weak, craven cunts like their stupid craven, weak cunt of a king Aegon, the pretender,” explained Benji as the room cheered, shouting out the words insulting Aegon and the greens. 

Daemon laughed menacingly as Benjicot gave his signature smirk first to his wife and then toward his good-father. Aleera rolled her eyes as she leaned to kiss her husband's cheek. 

“Oh, I knew my daughter was smart to marry someone like you. I like you, boy; you will duel with me tomorrow.” declared Daemon as he rose from his seat, raising his glass. 

“To my daughter, Princess Aleera, for choosing a smart, ruthless husband who will cut any Braken on site and soon any green on sight, to Bloody Ben who will restore my wife’s throne into our family hands!” cheered Daemon as the whole hall cheered raising their glasses to the Princess and her lord husband. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later the night, as Aleera lay in her husband’s arms drawing circles on his naked chest, she hmmed, pressing a kiss to his neck. 

“Who knew the fastest way you and my father would finally bond was your shared hatred for the greens? If I knew that was all it was going to take, then I would have pushed for you to talk earlier,” smirked Aleera, staring at her husband. 

Benjicot smirked back at his wife, never replying to her, only bringing her closer as he pressed a kiss to her mouth.

[erose-this-name]

Punishment.

Cult of the Lamb Ficlet because I lost control of my life again

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=⁂=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Lamb and their right hand cat, Narinder, walk about the cult grounds discussing plans for new buildings.

Kallamar and Saleos walk by, the former passively rambling outloud about schemes he will never actually go through with to the latter who just nods along, with the same reverence and eagerness a dog might have toward its owner. Kallamar seems to look at Saleos the same way one might be looked at by their housecat. As little good as they're surely up to, neither god of death pays them any mind, as they have proved to be more harmless together than apart.

Lamb chats to Narinder while sketching vague blueprints, “I saw you at your siblings’ house earlier, Nari’.”

Narinder grunts, “... And?”

“Don’t tell me The One Who Waited has forgiven them already?” Lamb teases.

“Of course not! None of my siblings have my forgiveness, nor will they ever. But, that spider is hardly the same person who betrayed me, not anymore. No point punishing the innocent. No point in letting what little remains of their talents go to waste.”

Narinder chooses his words carefully, the Lamb has probably already gleaned from his thoughts that he went to see Shamura, but maybe he could hide his intent behind ambiguity. This is just another facet of the countless indignities and adjustments he has had to go through after losing his Crown.

“Pragmatic!” Lamb smiles, complimenting the cat. Then, why do you think of guilt, Narinder?

Leshy bursts from the ground before Lamb, startling the young god of death. The worm bares his teeth, gesturing with his seeing eye cane, “Horrendous cruel beast! Why does Heket have to tend to both the farms and the gardens!? And is the head chef? EXPLAIN YOURSELF, IMMEDIATELY!”

Narinder rolls his third eye and picks up the blueprint Lamb had been working on, checking the shrine dimensions and blood plumbing for mistakes or minor improvements. It’s a skill that is easy to learn, but takes eons of practice to master.

Lamb looks at the worm with a wide friendly smile, unsure of his angle. His chaotic thoughts do not help. “Because, Leshy… She’s an ex-fertility goddess of harvest. I know it’s a lot of work, and she said she was the god of famine, but she seems to retain some power or knowledge of the opposite, so I think she can handle-”

Leshy throws his arms up, “SO DO I! I AM THE GOD OF NATURE! LOOK AT ME! I’M LITERALLY PART PLANT! Heket’s domain is merely domestic crops. Allow me to tend to the flowers and the trees, and I will grow them better than she ever could. Those camellias will have no choice but to obey me, FOR I AM THEIR GOD.”

Lamb tilts their head inquisitively, reopening the wound hidden under their bell collar, “Huh, so that’s why you look like that. I always thought you were the god of chaos?”

“Chaos is nature! Plants are not meant to be grown in ugly rows, so called ‘weeds’ are not meant to be pulled up, my hedges not meant to be trimmed into cubes. Nature is chaotic, it’s people who inflict their order upon it.” Leshy balls his fist.

“But, weren’t you also technically the god of order?” Lamb raises a brow, discreetly checking to make sure they’re wearing the blood red fleece, today. Or at least the robes they stole from Narinder.

Leshy produces a flower from somewhere, likely thin air, and uses it as a prop, “I am! Order is nature! Have you ever considered a flower? The intricacies and mathematical perfection of their petals, that I painted? The perfectly rehearsed dance of an ecosystem in balance? Nature is ordered, it’s people who inflict their chaos upon it.”

“Uh…” Lamb smiles, incredulously.

“What? That made perfect sense, right Narinder? The vile lamb must also be stupid.” Leshy says, rolling his non-existent eyes and throwing an arm around Narinder’s shoulder.

Narinder shrugs him off, not seeming to give a shit.

Lamb says, “Thank you for your concern, Leshy, but I think our current camellia output is sufficient. We really can’t spare another lumberjack, especially one as talented as you.~”

The green worm glowers at the Lamb, bearing his teeth. He turns and storms off.

Narinder watches his brother walk off. He turns to the Lamb, “Why did you put Heket in charge of sustenance? She is not above poisoning, or worse, you are aware of that.”

Lamb giggles, dropping the façade and rubbing their neck, “Because working with food torments her, now she can’t eat anything. Not if it’s still solid. She’s still much too proud to do a bad job, though. And I’m not worried about her poisons, anymore.”

Narinder says, “Oh. She always was a glutton, I suppose.”

“You think I’m being cruel, Nari’?” Lamb says coquettishly, licking their own blood and ichor from their clawed fingers.

Narinder’s three eyes narrow at the Lamb, “Cease your reading of my mind. And, yes, of course I do. However, I did not say it was a bad thing. She deserves it. I imagine that is also why you have Leshy cutting trees down, instead of growing them? Scary, how much of my vindictiveness has rubbed off on you, once so innocent... and, come to think, this is also probably why I was made your ‘disciple’, wasn't it?”

The Lamb gives him a sharp smile, “Ehehehe! Now, I’m starting to wonder if you can read my mind. A fitting punishment, yea? Always by my side. So close to the object of your desire, yet forever powerless to take it…”

Narinder’s face turns red and he gets a nosebleed. “I HATE YOU, Lamb! You are horrible and evil and vile, I’m leaving now.”

The three-eyed cat runs back into his hut.

Lamb mumbles to themself, obliviously, “Huh? He’s still thinking I’m cruel. He must really want the Red Crown back, I better keep teasing him with it!”

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=⁂=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

As Leshy retreats to a secluded part of the cult grounds with a bottle of ‘very good’ wine he stole, to brood over the Lamb’s refusal, he groans to realize that he’s unfortunate enough for Kallamar to have already been there doing the same thing.

Kallamar smiles and waves, beckoning Leshy to sit beside him. After a few moments of Leshy not reacting, he speaks up, “Hello, Brother! Sit down, sit down! Still living with that mortal cat?”

Leshy sighs as he does so, “Yes. Still living in Heket’s basement?”

“Just because she built a floor above mine doesn’t make it the basement. It’s a ‘cellar’…” Kallamar clarifies.

“Rrrright.” Leshy brings his bottle to his lips.

“You know, it’s funny how you only act like a normal person when you’re drunk. You’re so much more genuine, this way. I much prefer it.”

Leshy spits out his wine, “W-what’s that supposed to mean?! I’M ALWAYS NORMAL!!! … So, anyways, how’s Shamura doing? If you ever need help taking care of-”

Kallamar cuts him off, “Oh, could you? That'd be great. Saleos hardly ever has time to help. Shamura's condition is… well they haven’t been getting any less lucid. They can take care of most things themself, these days. That’s actually what I was about to mention. Narinder came by the house today. Was asking to visit them.”

Leshy’s hand tightens around the bottle’s neck, “What? You didn’t let him, did you?”

“Of course not. Heket would’ve had my head if I did.”

“Huh… Why?”

“No idea, I can never read the guy. Maybe he feels bad? He used to be very close to Shamura, can’t imagine he wanted any of this to happen.” 

“Maybe… But why now? We’ve been living here for close to a decade-”

“Decades, actually. This year it's 28, for me. You've been here a lot longer.” The squid corrects.

Leshy sighs, “... ‘Decadessssss’. You know what I mean. Maybe that horrid little Lamb put him up to it. Seems to enjoy torturing us like that.”

Kallamar shrugs, “Shamura’s been asking about Narinder ever since.”

Leshy raises his tone, “Shamura doesn’t know any better. They don’t even understand what happened to them, half the time. Even when they still had the Purple Crown, they kept giving him ‘gifts’. As if nothing had changed.”

Kallamar swirls the red liquid around in his bottle, “I don’t know. You really don’t think it isn’t time to extend the olive branch? He’s in the same boat as us, now. To be honest, I don’t even blame Narinder. He did what any of us would have done in that situation.”

“That’s… surprising to hear from you, Kallamar.”

“I just wish I didn’t have to get caught up in the crossfire. And, isolating Narinder has only been driving him closer to the Lamb, somehow. They are our real enemy.”

Leshy rolls his nonexistent eyes, “Ah, there it is… I mean, I don’t disagree. I empathize with him. And I miss having him as a brother, before all of this. But, I don’t know if I could ever forgive him, not after all he’s taken from me. My existence is hell, because of him.”

“Isn’t that more because of the Lamb, Brother?”

“What? No. Don’t get me wrong, I despise the Lamb. But, it was Narinder who gouged out my eyes, who sicced that vile beast on me.”

“... so?” Kallamar raises a brow.

“W-what do you mean ‘so’? Look at me! What he did to me.” Leshy gestures to his bandaged face.

“He did the same to all of us, you don’t see me asking for pity.” Kallamar takes a drink.

Leshy laughs in Kallamar’s face.

“PFFHAhAHAHahah! NO! No-no, no, no. No. We are not the same. I will admit, Shamura received a far worse fate than I, though my own suffering outweighs that of everyone besides. Then, after mine, was Heket’s. Then Narinder’s. And only then, last of all, is you. He Who Waited merely tore off part of the outside fins of your ears, you are not even deaf, not completely… And, I don’t despise you for losing nothing, Brother, I detest you because you got off so easy because you were a coward then, and you won’t even admit it because you are a coward now.”

Kallamar shakes his head, “Lost ‘nothing’? I lost my crown, my cult!”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, but yes. You did, though I’m sure you cried and bitched the whole time instead of fighting like a man.  But, it’s not like you were depending on yours just to hear. Or to speak. Or see.” The worm growls.

“You weren’t exactly blind until becoming a mortal. Didn’t you say you could see with the Green Crown’s eye?”

“That… that wasn’t the same! Didn’t you ever try looking through yours!? The Crowns see only truth, that isn’t the same as seeing. Beauty. Is. Not. True. Natural beauty was once all I cared about bringing into the world, it was what gave my existence meaning, what brought me happiness… For centuries, I haven’t been able to remember what flowers look like. I know their fragrance, their feel, their shape, but their color? I am told camellias are red, red like blood. What is ‘red’, Kallamar? The Green Crown did not give me the emotion of red, not the association of blood and passion, not the striking vibrancy, it merely informed me of the wavelength of photons bouncing off chemical bonds in their pigments and the chemistry and evolution of those biomolecules, and I don’t even have that anymore. ‘Dappled sunlight trickling down from the canopy of Darkwood onto a glittering stream between mossy rocks’, these are only words to me. I can no longer imagine it, as I can’t think in images anymore, only in words and concepts… Every time that I feel cool breeze through my leaflets carrying the perfume of camellias, all I can think of is that I will spend eternity never again knowing their beauty. W-whenever my cat gives me one, I…” Leshy’s lip quivers, he shakes his head.

His head drops into his hands, the worm mumbles, “What’s even the point of living anymore? I want… I deserve death. But this vile, horrid, cruel beast won’t even let me die. They know how I feel, their Crown must show them, they know how torturous this existence is for me! And still they stand there, mocking me, with that horrible sadistic smile. Acting like nothing is wrong.”

Kallamar stares at Leshy, his stitched brow furrowing. “How dare you, Brother? How dare you think that you have the right to hate me, when I already hate myself? H-how dare you think so little of yourself as to deserve pity from someone as worthless as me, when you’re still you? Do you have any idea how much I envy you right now, Leshy? Long before all this, even when you were but a wyrmling barely in control of your Crown, I still envied you. Because, you’re right. I am a coward, and a fucking idiot, not even the Blue Crown could fix that about me, because I’m also so fucking stubborn. I never deserved godhood. But it came so naturally to you, you’re so damn confident, and brave, and fucking cool looking! Everyone loved you for it! Your followers were inspired by you, drawn to you! My cult never even respected me, only feared me… Except for Saleos, he’s somehow worse… I should’ve been proud of you, as your elder bloodbrother, but as worthless and horrid as I am, I felt only jealousy… and loathed myself for it… If you think your greatness was taken from you, I never had any to begin with. If you’d even care.”

Leshy stands up, mouth downturned, the moss on his cheeks caked with wet ichor. 

He punches Kallamar in the face.

The squid clutches the burst stitches across his face, “OW! What the hell, Leshy?”

Leshy sneers, “Ooh, you think you deserve pity for knowing you’re pathetic? Don’t you try to out-do my pain! Don’t you think you’re the only one that hates himself. If even you couldn’t tolerate your bullshit, why didn’t you just fucking man up and die!?”

Kallamar reaches for his bottle. Leshy hits him again. The squid falls back, over the log, and flat onto the ground. 

The worm screams, “You think what the Green Crown did to me ‘looks cool?’, I’m a tree! You can pass as a normal squid. I have to tell people I’m an abomination, because I am. I’m a monster that devoured souls and families, and enjoyed it. And you think that was a good thing? You think they loved me for it? I didn’t even know what love was! Did you really think that I would feel better if I knew you only hate yourself because you weren’t consumed by your Crown, like me? Because you were still a person underneath it?! Do you understand how lucky someone like you is to have Saleos? How little you deserve his forgiveness, his love? After everything he sacrificed to you, willingly? And every day, you spit in his face!”

Kallamar curls up into a ball as Leshy kicks him repeatedly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, p-please…”

Leshy stops, tears dampening his bandages. “Now… Saleos is going to tend to your wounds, you’ll talk his ears off about this, and he’ll still be on your side… and I’ll go home, and my cat will tell me all about how much he loves that benevolent Lamb for saving him from Darkwood. Fr-... from the s-sacrificial altar... For vanquishing that evil god of chaos…”

Kallamar looks between bloody, shaking fingers, “H-he… still doesn’t know?”

Leshy sits down, wiping ichor from his hands, sniffling. “No. Of course not… I’m a worthless coward.”

The Lamb watches them from the temple window, with a horrible sadistic smile.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=⁂=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

[drdemonprince]

How do write without knowing everything on a topic? Extensive research and amplifying marginalized voices is important, of course. But no matter how far I get, I never feel like it’s enough. Doubt, new ideas, and gaps in knowledge keep me from writing basic school assignments to research projects I spent years on. There’s perfectionism, executive dysfunction, and interfering life events in my case. I have my shit. But I never feel like I know enough about the topic, or even writing or methodology.

I think one does have to build a tolerance for being wrong / getting critical feedback. That will happen no matter how thoroughly you perfect your work. You will always have readers telling you that you've offended them, you've missed something, you didn't write exactly what they wanted you to write, or that you have something wrong.

Some of the critical feedback that you receive will be wrong or pointless. And some of it will be a rehashing of the most negative monologues already in your brain. There is no preventing it from happening -- there is only putting your work out into the world, controlling your exposure to critique so that it is a manageable amount for you to consume and reflect upon, and then discerning for yourself which feedback is worthy of taking in and what isn't. This too is a skill that can only be developed with practice.

The goal is not to produce something that no person has a complaint about -- good work necessarily will invite critique. If you are lucky enough to be read by a good number of people, which most writers do want to have happen, then you will hear negative feedback of a variety of kinds. Often from people you disagree with or whose perspective you don't respect anyway, right alongside meaningful feedback that will enrich your work. But you will only get that feedback by subjecting your work to it in the first place.

And the goal is not to know every single thing about a topic that has ever been written, either -- this results in far too unweildy and complicated of a draft anyway, believe me, and knowledge is constantly being revised. Try tackling a very specific sub-topic or keeping a piece relatively simple at first. That way you won't be verging into overly technical waters *or* trying to sum up the entirety of a massive topic in a single written work, which is impossible. Find a small corner that you know you can feel confident in, and don't be afraid to not know it all as you continue to work on new pieces covering new corners.

If you are a perfectionist, it is possible to trick the perfectionistic side of your brain into believing that the only way it will get better is by completing a ton of work, getting that work out into the world, and sharpening its blade against the whetstone of others' critiques. All of this is also actually true. No one gets better at a task by never completing it. If you want to really punish yourself in an effective way, set a specific goal for how many pieces you want to complete, or how many placements of articles you want to have done -- and judge yourself against that, rather than some vague notion of perfection for any particular draft.

If you're like most writers, you will have to get the mediocre pieces out of yourself before the good ones will come. Took about 15 years of them for me. It was mostly worth it, and I did have some fun along the way. Good luck!

[justafriend-ql]

scene analysis - "pengyou" (never let me go, ep. 2)

i have been metaphorically living in this scene all week so i thought it was about time to write down some of my thoughts about it. this scene is absolutely foundational for palm and nuengdiao's relationship and gives us a lot of insight into their conflicting ideological standpoints. most importantly, it is the first time we see the power dynamic between them subverted, a trend we should watch out for as the two become closer.

the scene opens with palm struggling to pronounce his chinese vocabulary. he is tucked away in a somewhat private corner of the house grounds. this is a rare instance of incompetence from palm, who has many skills, and he likely doesn't want anyone to see him practicing. when nuengdiao finds him, he is at first startled and then resigned, addressing him as "young master."

nuengdiao corrects his pronunciation and comes to stand before palm. here, nuengdiao occupies the dominant position of "teacher," but the following scene, when nuengdiao brings palm's fingers to his throat, instantly breaks this power dynamic. nuengdiao is permitting palm to touch a very vulnerable part of his body, to feel his pulse as well as the vibrations of his vocal chords. the blocking of the scene, with palm crouched on higher ground looking down at nuengdiao, underscores the vulnerability nuengdiao willingly presents here.

palm's reaction to this earnestness and physical contact is interesting. he is clearly surprised and flustered, but he also holds nuengdiao's gaze. when nuengdiao tells him to "remember this feeling," palm seems to be thinking about the feeling of holding nuengdiao's life in his hands and upholding his duty to protect him. i think this is where the reality of this enormous task sets in for palm.

of course, reminders of their respective statuses are inescapable, even when nuengdiao attempts to put them on more equal footing. in the close up shot of palm's fingers on nuengdiao's neck, we can see nuengdiao's "only one" necklace (a reminder of his wealth and pre-determined future) and palm's woven bracelet (a reminder of his humble origins).

at first, nuengdiao relies on the two tactics he knows best - manipulation and command - in attempt to get palm to call him by his name. he tries to trick palm into saying his name instead of the similar-ending "pengyou," and when that doesn't work, he orders palm not to call him "young master." of note here is that these strategies, which work on everybody else in nuengdiao's life, do not work on palm.

while nuengdiao has the privilege of choosing to ignore their status difference, palm does not. nuengdiao argues (somewhat idealistically) that friends are not about time, place, or status. but this cannot be true for palm, who reminds him that he is a servant at nuengdiao's home. He also explains that his father will punish him if he does not observe traditional formalities around nuengdiao.

in contrast to their first conversation by the pool at night in episode 1, when nuengdiao insisted palm call him nuengdiao despite palm's protests, here, nuengdiao is willing to compromise. again, their physical positions reflect who has the upperhand in the argument. even though nuengdiao technically has more power than palm, in this instance, it is nuengdiao who is begging for something from palm, not the other way around. accordingly, palm sits higher than nuengdiao and is able to look down at him as they argue.

it's really important that nuengdiao relents here. it shows that he understands where palm is coming from and is willing to give him a degree of agency in defining their relationship. the compromise of "mr. nueng" allows them to begin building a true friendship without overtly violating the social expectations that keep them apart. furthermore, this scene sets up an important landmark in their future relationship development: when palm finally calls nuengdiao by his full name, without any honorifics - as an equal, a partner, a friend, and a lover.

[strayheartless]

lol thanks for entertaining all my witch poly posts. I told u I'd be obsessing over it

how often does the boys magic work? anyone whose "more powerful" than the other?

lol I made a joke earlier with my friend who I was obsessing the post over with. you wrote that Cloud cursed all their bullied and I was like "imagine he's sitting on the floor, voodoo dolls in hand and genesis'curse book and pouting"

HA! Omg yesssss. Cloud having a full lilo and stitch moment where Rude ad Rino comes to see Zack or Sephiroth or something and Rude finds Cloud on the floor with a jar full of spoons with sad faces on them and Clouds only explanation is “my friends need to be punished.”

But to answer your question. It’s a mixed answer. Technically speaking Genesis is the most skilled practitioner. They’ve been practicing this kind of magic for years (since they were 14 maybe) and study is Gens thing. They are not actually a vampire, they just looks like they should be so people assume theyve been practicing for way longer.

But in terms of who has more natural talent? Cloud. Cloud does things he can’t explain all the time and nine times out of ten his spells just kind of work by accident.

They all have their areas though:

For Sephiroth’s it’s physical magic, he uses his body as a conduit so things like yoga and meditation and manifestation are how he casts. He focuses on positive energy most of the time but Seph has learned his body is a powerful instrument and if you hurt his family he’s not afraid to ask the gods of war for their help.

For Angeal it’s cooking. He puts a lot of effort into mixtures and the right ingredients. Usually there are runes and things carved into gourds and pastry. If Angeal offers you food just… just be careful. He puts a lot of passion into his spells and if you choke on the first bite, stop eating.

For Genesis it’s charms and summoning. A lot of things speak to Genesis, and sometimes they don’t always want to hear it. They wear a lot of wards and make the others wear them too. Zacks constantly finding little warding scrolls in his clothes and when he asks about them Gen will say “somethings following you” which is fucking unnerving but Zacks learned Gen is more freaked out then he is a lot of the time.

For Cloud it’s pretty much anything but crystals and physical spells like spell bags and witch bottles are his go to. He tends to work closely with Angeal to grow things and with Gen to plan spells. He’s the newest as it but his sheer natural talent makes almost anything work. Problem with Cloud is he tends to forget to call the corners and cast circles so sometimes his work is a little too much. This has since been rectified by the others containing it.

Zack has a little magic of his own too. It’s called goth witch impulse control. And it works like a charm.

Gens about to set something on fire trying to banish things that bother them? Cheek pets and let them cry.

Angeals planning to poison someone? Gently holds his wrists and explains why that would be bad.

Sephs about to manifest a meteor to crush a work colleague that was rude to Zack? Brush his hair and explain why that’s called massive retaliation and it’s not actually relative to the size of the incident.

Clouds about to inflict terrible revenge on someone who was cruel to him? “Baby what happened? No no we don’t need to do that, put the herbs down just come and talk to me.”

Zack is… truely the most powerful in the house.

[lavenderpanic]

Your disclaimer does not mean anything when this is what you put in your writing:

Starvation is not a punishment in kink. Even someone who doesn’t know about kink knows that. Or isnt “educated” as you said. Food restriction and weight is not part of kink.

That is not what somnophilia is, because he did not consent.

Bucky was sixteen (underage) and Brock didn’t know. Is that his fault?

And the club let underage Bucky inside which is not how kink clubs work.

A quote from a chapter. “Bucky shrugs. “Technically an acronym, but sure. Honestly, Brock and I kind of do our own thing, so I really don’t know if either of us would call it that, but that’s… the general term, I suppose. I had this… this period of a few months, I guess, a few years ago, when I was super anxious and withdrawn and… I just wasn’t in a good headspace. I kinda felt attracted to the thought of dominance and submission and all that because it felt like a safe way to cope with my anxiety, and I met Brock at a club and… and it’s just been us since then. Nobody’s ever understood me like he does. A lot of people look at me like I’m crazy or weird, but Brock never thought that. It’s like… a balanced scale, kinda. He’s my counterweight, just as strong in the opposite direction.” This is not what kink is and it is not why poeple get into kink. This is false information and does not represent the community.

He has a safe word but Brock does not listen to it. Bucky should know that this is not how safe words work.

There are so many examples. You are corellating abuse and kink and that is dangerous for people who are actually in the community. Being abused does not excuse you.

I've been staring at this for like an hour and I just... like I'm genuinely at a loss for words. This is so incredibly weird. Like, I feel so weird right now, this is so creepy. I don't even think I know my fic well enough to pull fucking examples like this out of my ass why the fuck are you so weirdly obsessed??

Food restriction can 100% be a part of a TPE. Again, I've got weird and mixed-up feelings about it, but it isn't like... absurdly uncommon. But also, like... Bucky has anorexia. Brock knows this. Brock is abusing him. Brock is not like... conforming to BDSM rules or practices or whatever. I really don't know what you aren't understanding about this. I'm not saying that food restriction = abuse or what Brock is doing = a normal part of BDSM.

The fic is tagged "non-consensual somnophilia." It is not tagged "somnophilia." I don't even use that word in-text, I'm pretty sure. AGAIN, I feel weird about somnophilia, but if that's part of your dynamic and it's consensual WHATEVER IDCCCCC I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUUUUU.

Brock knows Bucky is underage before they do anything together sexually. He also coerces Bucky the first time they meet, regardless of his age. Yup, it's Brock's fault.

Clubs will let in people who are 18. This is a fact. Like I said in the fic, they mark that Bucky is <21 and can't drink. He has a fake ID which says he is 18.

That quote is actually inspired by my own experience, and I know I'm not the only person who felt that way. I don't claim to represent every person involved in the community. I never have. This is one person's story. You can't just make a blanket statement like "this isn't why people get into kink" because you're just fucking wrong.

Bucky knows this isn't how safewords work. He is abused and assaulted. He is being abused. He is being manipulated. You said you were older than me but your reading comprehension skills are like kindergarten level.

Nothing I have written is dangerous for any community (idk except maybe abusers?) and I have absolutely no clue why you would think so. I'm not claiming to represent an entire community. I am sharing my experience. I am writing one person's story. Fact of the matter is, there are many people involved in kink who take advantage of people who are new to kink because they can be so easy to manipulate and coerce and push past their boundaries. If you're saying I'm wrong, then you're either so fucking dumb I'm genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, or you're a predator or someone who excuses them. YOUUUU are the one sharing gross misinformation.

Go fuck yourself, genuinely. I'm blocking you and every other account you make and I'm not giving you my attention anymore. I have actual real-life problems and I really don't have the mental capacity at the moment to deal with shit like this. This is the one true safe space I still have in my life. I can't imagine how fucking miserable and alone you have to be to spend your fucking time making anonymous fucking accounts and antagonizing someone trying to bring awareness to victims of DV?? What the actual fuck is your deal? Go get a fucking job or volunteer or get a hobby you miserable piece of shit.

[sparkymalone]

So I have an idea for a Kuzuhina longfic, but I'm not sure if I want to write it, because I don't know how I would end it in a happy way, and I generally don't like leaving stories on a bad note. But it's an idea that keeps bouncing around my head, and it would be hella smutty, so maybe?

Okay, tell me what you think of this:

A fantasy setting where there are two warring kingdoms, one ruled by Queen Enoshima and one ruled by King Kamukura. One day the queen gets usurped by her own people, and Makoto gets put in charge. He begins talks with King Kamukura to end the war. The king is receptive, but he wants something in return.

Makoto's advisors suggest handing over the Remnants as prisoners. Kamukura is like "sure, whatever."

The Remnants get sent to Kamukura's kingdom and the king has to decide what to do with them. All of the Remnants with practical skills get put to work. He's not sure what to do with the leftovers.

One of his advisors suggests making a harem. Kamukura is like "sure, whatever."

So he makes a harem. He puts them in a nice room, gets them little slutty outfits, and breaks them in, one at a time. After that he doesn't visit them that often (Kamukura isn't a particularly sexual person), usually to take out aggression or as a form of punishment for the Remnants. (Is this too dark? I don't want it to be overly... rape-y...)

Hajime, who is the king's brother (lol), thinks the harem is a gross idea. He generally objects to it, but he sees the consorts sometimes, since the harem shares a courtyard with the royal quarters.

One day he runs into Fuyuhiko in the courtyard and they start talking. Over time, they become good friends, but that's all.

Kamukura notices, and Hajime isn't technically doing anything wrong, so he doesn't say anything. But he decides that he needs to "mark his territory," so to speak. He starts sleeping with Fuyuhiko more often.

And Hajime realizes that it's making him jealous, and that makes him realize that he's developed feelings for Fuyuhiko. One night, he confesses, and they kiss.

They start sneaking around together, but it's mostly the same as before, just with kissing sometimes. Until one night, when Fuyuhiko is particularly pissed off at Kamukura, and really emotional, and he asks Hajime to sleep with him.

Obviously, Hajime wants to, but he knows that if they get caught, the king will kill them both. He's also worried that Fuyuhiko has to have sex all the time, what if he's sick of it, or Hajime can't measure up, or something similar?

Fuyuhiko says something along the lines of, "Just once, I want to fuck because it's what I want to do."

So they have very romantic sex, and they both love it. They agree that it has to be a one-time thing, because it's too dangerous.

But obviously it doesn't end up being a one-time thing. They get caught up in their feelings and wind up sleeping together several more times.

And if course it's too good to be true, and they get caught. The king doesn't kill them, but he does cut out Fuyuhiko's eye (something about a "wandering eye," I'm still working on it) and makes Hajime watch. Then he tosses Hajime in the dungeon.

That's as much as I have, but there would be lots of smutty scenes, because of the harem. Not just with our boys, but with all the Remnants.

I don't really know how it would end. The only way it could end happily is Kamukura getting overthrown, right? I don't know, I'm open to ideas.

Does this sound like something you would want to read? Do you have any ideas to help out? Feedback is appreciated, as always!

[queen-ofsunflowers]

How would rank the Persona protagonists in terms of magic prowess?

Please note that this list only goes with main game protagonists plus Kotone. P5X isn't on here since I haven't started that game and know next to nothing about it. This is also based on my own personal opinions, so keep that in mind too. If anyone has a different list, I'd like to see it.

Also, please keep in mind that all of them are powerful in their own ways -- and in terms of magic prowess, eventually gain the strength they need. That's all. Onto the list!

7. Maya Amano

Maya's a pretty tough gal, and I love her to bits but unfortunately, she's at the bottom of this list. Sorry, Maya fans.

A lot of what she does is through sheer will power and stubborness, which has nothing to do with magic prowess. I have yet to write out Eternal Punishment or get a good idea about it, so that might change. Who knows?

But yeah, unlike the others, she really has no added ability or skills that put her higher on the list. If anything, it's more physical prowess for her than magic.

6. Minato Arisato

It was hard to rank Minato and Kotone, as the two are pretty much equal terms when it comes to magical prowess by the end of P3. In the end, Minato's a few points below Kotone for good reason, despite a lot of stuff that happens in P3.

Yes, Minato did manage to summon his weapon first months before Kotone did. However, that's not due to magical prowess. Elizabeth and later Yu in P4 describe the act as an ability a witch with a strong enough heart can achieve. Basically, he was able to do this because he overcame a personal and internal struggle of his during the June Full Moon.

There's also the case of Minato's sigil, which protects him from the Full Moon Shadows and being possessed by Death. That's all it does, though. He's not invincible against all Shadows, and the Full Moon Shadows still had an effect on him. Not as severe as it did with the others, but it still had an effect.

The major reason Minato is below Kotone, though, has to do with the fact that he suppressed his magic for about a decade. That is why he's at the spot he is on this list. Sure, he had some extra help in catching up, but that only got him to where Kotone was in the end. It's going to take a lot more work, and not learning magic when he was younger did take a bit of a toll on his magical prowess in the end.

So don't be like Minato and bottle shit up.

5. Kotone Shiomi

As stated previously, Minato and Kotone are sort of equal in terms of magical prowess by the end of P3, so it was hard to rank them.

Kotone only gets put into the spot above Minato due to her being able to cast healing spells. Those spells are incredibly difficult to learn and takes years of training and study to be able to use them to their full extent (i.e. that diarahan). So that earns her some points above Minato.

4. Yu Narukami

Yu ranks higher above Minato and Kotone due to his precognitive ability. He's able to see into the future within this universe, though he isn't always sure of the whole picture which is why he's not any higher.

He wasn't generally using his magic freely like some others, but he still learned and practiced what he was taught. Though, this is primarily because Yu easily loses control of his magic when his emotions run awry, which was often when he was younger. No one likes getting electrocuted or a sudden static shock.

3. Tatsuya Suou

So there's a reason that Tatsuya is high on this list. Two reasons, actually.

The first is that sort of parallel to Yu's precognitive ability, Tatsuya possesses as retrocognitive ability. He can see the past history of an object if he touches it. He's got more control over this than Yu does with his, hence why he's a spot higher.

The MnM!Tatsuya is also technically two people in one. He's both the Other Side and This Side Tatsuya, since the former doesn't vanish in this AU. Tatsuya was strong enough to create a loophole in Philemon's deal, which lead to him recovering his memories alone. The memories of the Other Side helps in terms of magical prowess.

2. Naoya Toudou

...I have my reasons for this, I swear that I do. First, there's an ability that Naoya possesses that doesn't really come into play until P5 canonically, but this is an AU and I do what I want. So Naoya has the Third Eye ability from P5. The Third Eye ability is also an inherited one, so Naoya passes it down to Ren. That's primarily what helps him get so far up the list.

And yes, Third Eye still exists in this AU, I'll probably talk more about it later but it's what helps him get so high up compared to others.

He's also a self-imposed alchemical genius, which helps as well. He's noted for making his own healing potions at the like since he was young. Though, this is primarily due to Kazuya's death. If someone gets gravely hurt, he wants to be prepared to step in when need be.

It should be noted that Naoya's the only one on this list and out of every witch in the series thus far to have changed their affinity. He was originally Wind, but then changed to Fire towards the end of P1.

1. Ren Amamiya

Ren being the strongest out of the seven of them primarily comes down to his title and role as 'Trickster'. That's just about it.

He's also studied magic heavily since he was a little kid, which lead to him having a bit more training when it came to honing his prowess.

The latter also leads to him having more 'tricks' up his sleeve so to speak. Out of most of the protagonists, he has a wide range of spells from his extensive studies.

Also possesses the Third Eye ability like his father, which just adds to that.

...you'll see a good example of his power when we get there.

[murder-and-mayhem]

Meet My OC

S E H L A A N | SITH WARRIOR

Romances: Malavai Quinn during the Warrior storyline (ended it after the Quinncident) | Theron Shan during Shadow of Revan | currently in a committed relationship with Arcann.

@ladytirall I saw your post about OC's so I couldn't resist showing off my main. She is a redeemed Sith Warrior, and I am ✨obsessed✨ with her. I gave a lot some backstory below the cut, and I apologize in advance for the dissertation. I got way too carried away....

A/N: I am highly aware that this backstory fucks the SWTOR timeline mercilessly considering all class stories technically occur simultaneously. This is just the headcanon following my in-game family tree. My structuring of Imperial Society is loosely based on this post by @fluffynexu (particularly the schooling that Force-sensitive Sith children undergo), along with my own headcanon that not all "legitimized" children born in the Empire come with the obligation of marriage. Basically something along the lines of "powerful bloodlines are so inherent to the power structure/caste system that procreation has become a transaction". It's fucked up, but the Empire is fucked up so why not go balls to the wall.

In 3665 BBY, Sehlaan was born on Dromund Kaas to Jaidys Mar'el—better known across the Empire as Darth Nox. Her birth was part of a contractual agreement between Nox and a prominent Kaasian family. Darth Nox—a former slave and distant descendant of Lord Aloysius Kallig—had been newly appointed as a member of the Dark Council after killing her predecessor.

Her position on the Council was hardly secure at the time. Many Sith saw her rise to power as an affront, and—whether due to their prejudice, their own ambitions, or both—Nox was met with many attempts to usurp her seat, and subsequently end her life. In an attempt to solidify her position in the Empire and ensure her own legacy, she made an offer to several powerful families at the top of Kaasian society. She focused particularly on old families who had a reputation for their ruthless ambition, and offered them a mutually beneficial contract: she would produce an heir with one of their bloodline. A legitimate child between a Dark Council member with ancient Sith blood, and a sire from a deeply respected family boasting ties to high-ranking officials and its own prestigious bloodline.

The child would cement an alliance between the two, give her a better foothold among the Sith still clawing for her Council seat, and offer the families who accepted a chance to grow more powerful among their peers. Two of the families were able to overcome their distaste towards her years as a slave, and accepted her offer. Two families. Two children.

Sehlaan's brother, Torvahl, was born first to a different father, and Sehlaan followed two years after. Her childhood was strictly managed and closely monitored by both her mother and her biological father's family. When her Force sensitivity manifested at 4 years old she began a training regimen, with the end goal to have her attend the Academy on Korriban when she came of age and had finished her years of study.

Sehlaan took to her training with obedience and an eagerness to please, eclipsing all initial expectations that had been set for her. She was heralded as intuitive and clever among her masters, quick to learn, and deeply attuned to her connection with the Force. Sehlaan excelled in her studies, and her mother's personal lessons in dual saber combat had labeled her somewhat of a prodigy.

Sehlaan's brother hadn't fared nearly as well. He had proficient skill with a dual saber, but his hesitance to tap into his passions during his training had stunted his connection to the Force. He also struggled in his studies and had issues focusing. Sehlaan often helped him practice, even going so far as to help him cheat in order to remain close to him and spare him their mother's ire. When Sehlaan's interference was discovered, the resulting punishment was severe on both children. Torvahl's masters labeled him as weak and slow, and Darth Nox quickly wrote him off as a failure. Sehlaan, however, loved her brother deeply, and she refused to give up on him so easily. She did everything within her power to help him catch up by meditating with him, studying, and sparring.

When they were 13 and 11 years old, Torvahl disappeared. It was discovered later by Jaidys' contacts at Imperial Intelligence that he had run away with an SIS agent who'd escaped capture under mysterious circumstances. Her own spies later reported that he'd been sent to Tython, and that he was excelling at his training at the Jedi Temple despite his late start. 

The event was extremely traumatic for Sehlaan. Her mother forbade any mention of him with swift, brutal punishment to follow if her orders were disobeyed. Nox was deemed incompetent by Torvahl's sire and relations between the two deteriorated significantly, creating new enemies of the family and their allies. The only thing that protected Nox from the fallout of Torvahl's 'betrayal' was Sehlaan's biological father. His family was the wealthier and better connected of the two, and their peers were hesitant to fight an open war between them.

All of the pressure to succeed now fell on Sehlaan, and her already strict schedule became micromanaged down to the minute. She was made to train and study harder, and she was no longer attending a public academy. Instead she trained under Nox's ally, Darth Vowran, as well as several other masters and scholars that shared the same allegiance.

Sehlaan had no choice but to obey.

Torvahl's disappearance left her heartbroken, and being an 11 year old without an outlet her pain quickly turned into outright fury. She felt abandoned by her brother, and was gutted that he hadn't trusted her to tell her of his plan so she could leave with him. Her bitterness and rage fed her connection to the Dark side, and she shouldered the burden of her family's legacy with renewed vigor.

When she was 20 years old she was brought into the Sith Academy ahead of schedule by Overseer Tremel. She was given strict instructions that she was not to reveal her mother's position on the Dark Council to others. Nepotism was rampant among the Sith, but Tremel wanted her to be chosen on her merit, not her connections. The plan succeeded, and Sehlaan became the newest apprentice to Darth Baras.

In the first year of her apprenticeship, she was tasked with hunting down her Master's nemesis, Nomen Karr, and his padawan, Jaesa Willsaam. Baras' intel stated that Jaesa could sense the true intentions and alignments of anyone through the Force, and Sehlaan was curious. She'd had a decade to seethe over her brother's decision to run, and during all of those years under Nox's thumb she'd slowly begun to understand why he'd grasped at any chance to leave. Even if she couldn't forgive him for leaving her behind.

This new understanding left her feeling conflicted, and she found herself questioning her allegiances—something she had desperately tried and succeeded to hide from both her mother and her new master. As she hunted the Jedi down, she found ways to still appease Darth Baras in her decisions without causing as much bloodshed, listing pragmatism for her choices rather than mercy.

When Sehlaan finally confronted Karr and Jaesa, the padawan turned her power on the Sith and saw this confict. Sehlaan was at a tipping point. After Nomen Karr's fall, Jaesa left with Sehlaan of her own free will to become her apprentice, and Sehlaan began to learn and understand the Light side of the Force in secret. It took working through hundreds of setbacks (especially during her years as the Emperor's Wrath) and overcoming decades of indoctrination before she was able to cleanse her lightsaber crystal, eventually changing the color from red to white.

It wasn't until her meeting with Darth Marr and Satele Shan in the forests of Odessen that she was able to find true balance in the Force. Using components provided by Marr and Master Shan, she built a new lightsaber using her own cleansed crystal before going on to defeat Arcann. After his fall, she chose mercy despite the blow back from her allies on the decision, eventually leading to his joining of the Alliance.

Arcann saw it as a chance to redeem himself and heal the wounds he'd left on the greater galaxy. Later during a private moment between the two, he asked her why she'd chosen to let him live and why she'd let him join her on Odessen. Sehlaan quietly told him of her own journey towards the Light, and how sparing him and his mother had been an easy decision in her eyes.

[babyspacebatclone]

@bdkdkens , I happened to see your reply to a comic from @autball asking about what ABA is, and it doesn’t look like you have had an answer yet.

I studied ABA as part of my Community Psychology degree, and am happy to give you a rundown.

ABA = Applied Behavioral Analysis

It is a specific school of psychology with an emphasis on changing the behaviors of people - “Applied” means the focus on change (and not just accumulation of data), Behavior is obvious, and “Analysis” is an indication of the intention to be “scientific.”

On it’s own, everything in ABA is neutral to good: understanding the situations in which people do behaviors, and the forces that can either cause them to do behaviors more (reinforce) or less (punish in a very scientific sense of ‘make less desirable’).

The issue is two fold:

ABA focuses only on the observable, as part of their “scientific” obsession. I phrase it that way because the choice of “observable” means that internal thoughts, memories, etc….. If the Analysis themselves can’t prove they exist? They are literally ignored as irrelevant. If they happen to interfere with the Analyst’s work? They are actively suppressed - punished out until they stop being a “problem.” Instead of, you know, addressed as part of the individual.

This is because the most important person in the equation of ABA is the Analyst. Not the client, and not even the patient - which may be two different people, in the case of working with children. The Analyst is the be all, end all expert, and everyone else needs to acknowledge that or, well, be punished for interfering with the Analyst’s work.

Point 1 is baked into ABA; if you want to include beliefs, memories of past experiences, and even intrusive thoughts as things that influence behavior and are important, you’re going to go into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I, myself, align strongly with CBT as a therapy philosophy.

Point 2 is technically avoidable, but having studied under old-school supporters of ABA it’s almost impossible to avoid in practice.

One of my courses in college was taught by an adjunct - that is, someone who works in the field and teacher part time as a service for people entering into the field.

He was humane, reasonable, and respectful of the clients (adults with moderate to severe mental or intellectual disabilities) and teaching them life skills.

He convinced me behavioral principles worked, even in situations where explaining necessary things to people was not possible.

My other classes????

The most recent textbook actively told the students to prevent Autistic patients from stimming because it would interfere with teaching them.

The core issue with using ABA to “correct” Autistic children is the culture of ABA is that you have to force the child to act Neurotypical/Allistic, no matter the cost to the child.

(I use both NT and Allistic because an ABA will use the same principles on trauma symptoms, depression symptoms, etc.)

The goal is to either make the child act NT - explicitly to conform to the societal majority - or else at least not act Autistic and therefore bother the Allistics.

Because conforming to society - as defined by the Analyst - is the end goal of the majority of ABA

Not learning life skills - life skills are a means towards conformity - not mental health - because remember the internal mind doesn’t matter - and definitely not what the patient wants.

The patient is a problem to be fixed. To be cured, or hidden.

And that is why ABA needs to be stopped, burned to ashes, and a new field of applied behavior technicians put in its place for situations where straight CBT is not able to be applied (because I admit there are levels of mental and intellectual disability that prevent CBT from being as effective as pure Behavioralism).

Unfortunately…..

Guess what’s easiest for parents for parents of Autistic children to find, and get insurance to cover????

😣 😣 😣

[rito-flips]

A short introduction to balisongs

Balisongs. You might know them as butterfly knives. Kickass, The Punisher, Team Fortress 2—there's a chance you've seen them in some form of media.

An entire community exists around this type of knife, but with its illegality in many parts of the world, some people without a functioning brain might try to convince you that this community is filled with hoodlums preying on unsuspecting people with these knives.

But nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, most of this community sees the balisong not as a weapon, but as a skill toy and flow art somewhat similar to yoyo and kendama.

I'm a part of this community, and I want to introduce you to the basics of balisongs and the community around them. There's so much to unpack that it isn't even funny, so how about the parts of the balisong and how to get started?

Let's start with the clip above. I'm clearly using an actual knife, so how am I avoiding getting cut? The answer is that I have an understanding of the different parts of the knife.

As shown above, the balisong can be broken up into three different parts: - The blade - The bite handle - The safe handle

The blade is, well... the blade. I don't know what else to say about it. Generally speaking, every balisong trick under the sun exists under the understanding that there's one side that will cut you, or the bite side, and one side that won't, or the safe side. The handle on the bite side is called the bite handle, and the handle on the safe side is called the safe handle.

Balisongs themselves can be broken down into two categories: trainers and live blades. - A trainer has a fake "blade" that lets you practice flipping as much as you want without having to risk injuring yourself. Generally accessible in most parts of the world, and much less likely to get confiscated by customs. - A live blade is the real thing with a real blade, through and through. Flipping a live blade has an inherent risk of injury since it can Stab™, but unless you're stupid any cuts you do get from it won't be that bad. Live blades aren't exactly legal everywhere, so remember to check your local knife laws if you're thinking about buying a live blade.

Although I recommend you start on a trainer, whether you buy a trainer or live blade first is entirely up to you. Just remember that if you buy a live blade, you'll have to take extra precautions to avoid any serious injury.

Okay, so with all that out of the way...

Where you do buy a balisong? And who even makes them?

If you're 100% serious about wanting to get into this hobby, it's best not to waste your time with most of the trainers you can find on Amazon, with one exception: the Nabalis Vulp, which is a good enough flipper and will have everything you need to get started flipping.

I know the price seems a bit steep for what it is at $65 USD, but bear with me because this hobby can get very expensive for reasons too technical for a post like this. Once you feel like you want to upgrade from the Vulp, here are some knives and trainers I can recommend at varying price points: - LDY Orion ($75 USD/$85 USD for the live blade) - Machinewise Prysma Pro ($185 USD) - Squid Industries Krake Raken ($250 USD)

Some big(ger) makers on the scene right now are Squid Industries, Machinewise, Glidr, Nabalis, BRS, Fellowship Blades, Zippy Balisong, and Jerry Hom. And as for content creators, my personal favorites are Will Hirsch, Blade Bias, and Disuko, with Big Flips providing all of the tutorials you need to get started. This is a very niche hobby, so a lot of major figures in the community are approachable and open to questions you may have on things like Reddit and Instagram, but as with any other person you meet, do remember to treat them with some level of respect.

If you wanna see just short of everything that's on the market right now, I recommend checking out BuffaloDIngus's guide on balisongs, which also goes a lot more in-depth than I can with this style of content.

I hope you give my hobby a try, and happy flipping!

[expressionbean]

Random Multi-Muse Questions!

Taken from @rpmemes-galore .

Reposted because reblogging to fill out sadly doesn't work well with XKit Rewritten :(

If you want to find or interact with any of these guys, my sideblogs are @forgotten-teammates , @aquaticsoul , @restoringorder , and @ghostboy-291 !

Which muse enjoys a nice nap?: Sade, without a doubt. Man needs his nap time. Also Sielu, but only if he can cling to somebody.

Which muse is the most emotional?: If we're talking expression-wise, Sielu by a long shot. Kain is the next closest. If we're talking inwardly, an argument can be made for Pauhu.

Which muse can play an instrument?: Sielu, Sade, Lento, and Pauhu are extremely skilled at it. Terälehti can get by. Siipi is a bit out of practice but used to be brilliant. My Amestrians are hopeless. Allister is also not an instrumentalist.

Which muse tends to bottle things up?: Kain and Pauhu. Granted, they do this differently and for different reasons.

Which muse is the best leader material?: It really depends. If we're basing it off French and Raven's forms of power, Kain ticks boxes over his men for legitimate power (having the title to back up his authority), referent power (being liked and respected), expert power (technical knowledge), coercive power (ability to punish or reprimand), and informational power (the control of information necessary to perform tasks). He would make use of reward power (ability to compensate good behavior) more often if he had rewards to give, thus making him an extremely well-rounded and effective leader of those under him.

That said, Knave is also a great leader based upon the same standards. However, he has a bit less expert power, a bit more reward power, and a lot more legitimate power. So really... depends on the situation!

Which muse has the best singing voice?: Dependent on the timeline. If he's not struggling with his actually-burned vocal cords, arguably Sielu. Pauhu is also an extremely good singer (as you might expect from a choir director). Sade is skilled but not quite as much as those two because he devoted himself almost entirely to violin. Siipi's voice is pleasant but not made for concerts. Lento is a good singer but no match for Sielu.

Which muse has the best fashion sense?: In terms of things I would wear? Probably Sade. Very business-casual guy. Button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, slacks, and broken-in dress shoes. In terms of "wow that's a neat outfit"? Pauhu and Sielu.

Which muse has an insatiable sweet tooth?: [stares at every single muse on @aquaticsoul ]

Which muse has suffered the worst injuries?: Also dependent on timeline. In terms of persistance of effects and near-death, probably Sielu. At the same time, though, it could be argued that the injuries that outright killed some other OCs were "worse" because they're... literally deceased. Honorable mention to Allister. He might just tie with Sielu.

Which muse would survive in an apocalypse?: Sielu did survive the actual end of his world and he did so entirely out of being stubborn. When it comes to actual survival skills, though, Breda, Knave, and Kain are probably best to have around.

Which muse is most likely to drunk text someone?: None. If they were to get phones with texting capabilities, Lento without a doubt.

Which two muses would get along well if they met?: Breda and Pauhu would probably be fine. They're both kinda grumpy and have a lot of opinions. I feel like they'd play a good game of chess. Sade can get along with just about anyone because he is extremely easygoing.

Which two muses would get into a fight if they met?: Chicken and Breda. They do not get along very well.

Which muse is easiest to get into the head-space of?: Kain and Sielu are just about tied. Lately, Allister has been pretty easy too and gets better the more I write for him. I will say I think if I got the chance to write for Terälehti more often, he'd be very simple. His voice just seems natural to me so far and it's probably because he's riiight between Kain and Sielu in terms of how he perceives things.

[starberrywander]

I wish I had the programming skills or technical know-how to make a website or open source program for creative works. Like, I would love to make something that allows creators to publish their work and get support without all the capitalist bs. Book authors could publish completely free. They could choose to publish at whatever price they want, or for free. No minimum requirements by the site. They could connect with freelance editors, cover artists, beta readers etc. to help with their book. If readers really liked the author and wanted to support them, there would be a way for them to donate directly to the author. Again, no website fee. Plus, there would be no higher ups to punish authors for their books being pirated (a practice whose existence caused the spite that fuels this post) and any earnings would go directly to the author. Like if the author charged $20 + tax for their book, they would get $20 for every book they sell. Simple as.  Filmmakers would be in a similar situation; their works could be published completely free and they decide the prices charged. Screenwriters could use the platform to connect with actors, editors, animators, etc. to build a team and produce their project. Viewers could support projects with donations directly to the creative team or even just individual members of the team to show appreciation for their work. And again, like with the book authors, all earnings by a project would go directly to the creators. There would be no higher ups to take a portion of the profits, 100% of it would go to the creators. The website would be sustained mostly by ads, probably. Maybe there could also be a place to donate directly to the site to keep it running. If I started it myself, I would probably buy my own servers and power them with solar panels or something to decrease costs. Idk, my knowledge of servers and how the internet works is limited, but hopefully it would be like a non-profit indie Netflix that also had books and artwork. The creators on the platform could direct the development of the platform with suggestions of what would help them with their work. Viewers could direct development by suggesting ways that the platform could be more user friendly. The whole thing would be directed by users and creators wouldn't have to go through the bs of publishing companies and studios. It could be kinda like a crowdfunding thing, where if creators needed funding they could share a little teaser about their work and people who wanted to see it come to fruition could donate to the project. People would be able to tell the stories they want without it being watered down for fear that it wouldn't make as much money if it was too controversial (y'know, like how a lot of big companies are hesitant to represent lgbt characters and stories out of fear of decreased profits and "alienating an audience").  Like, my coding knowledge is extremely limited and I can't do anything without tutorials. I have no idea how I would build a website like this or work out the cybersecurity details but damn, I really want to. I want to see creators unrestricted by the regulations of publishing businesses. I want to see the creators and stories that would otherwise get rejected by the big companies. I want to see creativity thrive, unhindered by the pressures of capitalism. And I know what I've proposed isn't exactly "free of capitalism" but at least it would be a step toward true creative freedom. It would give opportunities for so many creators to get their work out into the world when they otherwise wouldn't have been able to. Anyway, this is one of my many dreams. I dunno if I'll ever make it a reality, but I wanted to share it so maybe it can inspire someone else who has more knowledge in this area to want to try something similar.

[nugget--daddy]

OCs

I have about....5 or 6 important OCs.

First, we have my favorite one, Sabrielle. She is shipped with Lilliane Void by Azzy on pinterest (Azzy Little glitch and Ayla Twilight zone on quotev) and horrortale sans (though, that is not approved by sour apple studios, so its just an oc technically fanon ship). She is a hybrid in the undertale multiverse i created where the monsters were released early, still having the characters of the game we know and love (but, ya know, AU versions). She can use the ghaster blasters, but they are weaker. She may summon a scythe as her weapon, and has basic teleportation skills. She is an ally of the bad sanses. She has the soul of perseverance.

Cavet was a skeleton hybrid, as in this multiverse there is a third skeleton character, not related to the brothers. She is the mother of Sabrielle and her twin. She married the sans of her universe, and, well, she left after giving birth for unknown reasons.

Sans in this multiverse is almost exactly like they original multiverse version of him, and, well, this is an alternate timeline of the original universe in their multiverse. Sans took care of the kids after Cavet left, hollow in his wife's absence. On his daughter's ninth birthday, he was murdered by humans, he only let them so his daughters could escape.After a few hundred resets, he forced Sabrielle to give up, killing her so she could have Olivia reset one. last. time.

Olivia was Sabrielle's twin who's smile easily lit up a room. She had the soul of determination. she and Sabrielle were practically inseparable when they were children. Olivia was seduced by Aquamarine, which lead her and Sabrielle to be trafficked. when she was about twelve she was forced into a pregnancy, giving birth to her son, Gabriel. To punish Sabrielle, Olivia was shot in the stomach, giving her a long, painful death. She still visits Sabrielle in her dreams, which often does more harm than good. She was forced to reset by Sabrielle, who wanted to have her live.

Luna is the younger twin of Ariana. She is very awkward. Although she would never imply this on purpose, for years she relied on Sabrielle to survive during the Great Famine. What happened to her parents is a mystery, though they didn't seem to be of much help for her. After escaping to a different multiverse with her cousin and sister, she and them opened a little restaurant after saving money from singing on the streets. She has the soul of empathy.

Unlike her sister, Ariana is very confident, especially around large groups of people. To try and manage in the Great Famine, she worked as a prostitute, which she still does to this day. She is interested in photography, being fairly decent at it. Sabrielle was pretty mad at Ariana one day and dyed her head pastel pink and purple, which she ended up loving. She has the soul of integrity.

Welp, that basically wraps up all of my main characters (as in the ones that will be commonly talked about compared to everyone else, or has important bit of the story line).

[postedposting]

september: too many books

something i want for this blog is a log and notes on the books i've been reading, the games i've been playing, etc. here's the books i have on the go and have recently finished in the last month or so

in progress

[~30%] The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York, Rober A. Caro: just finished volume 1, mixed listening to the audiobook + reading a hard copy. absolutely a banger if you're interested in NYC or public works or systems. probably more great-man-y than would be the style today, which is interesting. it's like 1k pages long and i'm on hold for volume 2 in audio, so i expect to be reading this for a while yet. fortunately that's not a problem because it is, as mentioned, a banger.

[~20%] The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddahartha Mukherjee: extremely well written, thoughtful and interesting 'biography' of cancer. it's been slow going for me because of how wrenching the subject is (cancer itself and the medical practices and history involved). i'm back months out on hold at the library, but may buy a copy instead so i can read at the pace i want without forced long breaks like this

[~15%] Normal Accidents, Charles Perrow: this is technically a re-read for me, i read this in middle school*. it will shock you to learn i'm still getting a lot out of it on this pass, from uhh being an adult with an adult brain and context, from having worked with and within complex technical systems, and from more background knowledge about accident theory and systems thinking. very much a historical text in some ways at this point

[~5%] Cahokia Jazz, Francis Spufford: a mystery in a historical AU US - barely started, but promising and highly recommended

*i was, of course, a normal and well socialized child

finished

🫳 Tactical Barbell: Strength & Conditioning For The Operational Athlete, K. Black: big sigh. nevertheless, i'm giving it a shot.

🫳 You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder, Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo: pretty good. nothing earth shattering for me in here, and it is very 'published in the 90s (?) and updated in 2006'. it could use another refresh for the 2020s.

i did appreciate the authors' perspective as members of the community rather than external viewers. it is very pro adhd coaching, which is a bit chicken and egg with the authors' professions 🫳

acquired: a newfound appreciation that i do not have to use a fax machine personally or professionally.

i continue to have many thoughts but no conclusions about school and adhd - much of the book talks about dealing with children and their schooling, trauma from struggling in school, dealing with feeling stupid stemming from school, etc. in many ways school/academics was the part of my childhood/young adulthood that seems least negatively affected by my adhd

like was i paying attention? absolutely not, i was at best doing homework for another class. did that ever seem to be particularly perceived or punished? not really?

to play counterfactuals, is this a better outcome than if i'd tanked a few classes and gotten diagnosed earlier? the pondering continues, conclusion free

i hold strong that tests are largely fake and test taking / moving in academia is a skill set almost entirely divorced from anything academic results are supposed to predict

👎 The Hands of the Emperor, Victoria A. Goddard: oof. i came away from this one extremely mixed, but on the whole negative -

i really liked a lot of the implied storytelling, and the first half or so was genuinely very good. unfortunately…the fill in for a lot of that implication wasn't as good, and big chunks ended up as a repetitive slog. frankly, it's long as fuck and did not justify the space. 

while i think i'm generally politically aligned with the mc & author, a lot of the power fantasy of Being The World's Best Beaurocrat in the latter half did not hit for me, stepping over into very cringe west wing territory. in many ways a very funny companion piece to have read in parallel with the power broker

it seems like it was self published or maybe published by a small imprint, and, to indulge in some armchair diagnostics, imo really really could've used some work with a strong and experienced editor that the author may not have had access to. it's so close to hitting, but fell down hard for me

tbf it also probably did not help that my loan ran out at like 95% through, so i had an involuntary several week break right at the end. i was already souring before, but i came close to just dnf'ing at that point. i figured i'd see it out and i'm glad i did, but i can't recommend it

despite all this…i'm probably going to take a look at the author's other books? it was so close…

👍 Cold Clay / Mirror Lake / Twilight Falls, Juneau Black: (audio) easy, cozy mysteries. improved in many ways from the first in the series

👍 Titanium Noir, Nick Harkaway: (audio) fun neo-noir sci-fi near-ish future mystery