#my process is very sporadic but it’s there! mostly!

[rashoumon-homo]

Be honest would you guys be mad if I posted mha fics to this acc 👉👈

Anyway unofficial update on my writing stuff! Here’s what I’m currently working on:

Part 3 to the No Such Tastes In Men thingy (Dazai x Male reader)

Part 2 to The Good Locker (BakuDeku fic over on my AO3, the one I might cross-post here)

I want to do another BSD x gender neutral reader but I’m not sure what character or what the plot should be so this one’s still in the brainstorming phase

And by working on I mean thinking about passively lol. My process is usually to let an idea formulate then sit down and do it all in one sitting; drafting, revising, everything. So the above 3 will be completed in the order my brain approves them lmao, I promise they will all get done though!

[flippinpancakes64]

How the Cullens would react to you being a newborn

*Note* This is my first ever post please be nice :(

Edward:

Super supportive

Is so so patient

Will teach you everything he knows about self control and how to best curb your hunger

Will go hunting with you every day if that's what you want

He doesn't care if you're dangerous he wants a hug so he's getting a hug

Protective x100

If Jasper still has trouble trusting you after you've mostly gotten yourself under control he will be right there telling him to back off

10/10 would let him turn me into a newborn

Alice:

Again, supportive x100

She deals with Jasper on the daily, she knows how to help with cravings and sporadic behavior

Can easily stop you from things you shouldn't do because she can see them in the future

Would go hunting with you

Would lose her patience after a while if you keep tearing the clothes she buys you tho

(Not actually she'd just be a little frustrated :) )

Would also come to your defense if Jasper or anyone else doubts that you have yourself under control

"I can literally see the future it's fine-"

Jasper:

The worst of them all probably-

He's very tough to get to in the first place

He has a dark past, most of his trauma is from Newborns

He doesn't trust you for a really long time

Super skeptical, will follow your every move ready to hold you down

He's just trying to protect his family tho

You're gonna have to be on your best behavior if you ever want him to trust you again

He'll come around eventually though with the help of his family to show him that you're adjusting well

After he's certain you're no longer a threat he will feel so bad

Cuddles x100

He's just a big softie who loves his family behind those scary eyes

Rosalie:

Ok I lied she might be the worst actually-

If you did this to yourself or had another one of the Cullens turn you chances are she's never gonna talk to you again (sorry)

I mean we all know that she hated Bella's guts until she got pregnant with Renesmee

But if you got turned by accident or by a rogue vampire attack?

Supportive x200

Mama Bear mode activated fr

She remembers what it was like all too well

The pain, the confusion, the anger, the hatred

You couldn't do a single thing wrong in her eyes

You accidentally attacked a hiker? It happens to the best of us

You broke one of the super expensive cars by closing the door too hard? It's ok Carlisle can buy a new one

Can and will defend you if anyone says you're not ready yet

Emmett:

Kinda chill tbh

Obviously since he's the strongest he's with you most of the time to hold you back if need-be

But he's more interested in making bets against anyone who will bet with him

"I smell an elk up ahead, I bet I'll get to it before they can"

"I bet I'll win in an arm wrestling contest"

"I bet they'll scream at Edward for playing that piano too loud"

Mostly is just a good supporter

He's really observant though and is a good judge on if you're ready to be alone yet or not

Esme:

Supportive x100

She hates seeing anyone in pain and you are no exception

Will give you all the tips and tricks she can think of

How to control your cravings, the best animals to hunt, the best places to go to just scream and let it all out

She's got you covered

Wouldn't be that strong of an advocate towards you being ready tho-

She acknowledges that she is not very well versed in this field and will accept Carlisle's or Jasper's judgements very seriously

She will do her best to help you though

Carlisle:

The man for the job fr

He has raised four different newborns that he created mostly all by himself

He knows exactly what to do

How to best help you, how to make sure you feel the least pain possible, how to speed up your process

Literally anything

He's very open to answer any questions you have

If you were dying and he did this to save you he'd be perfectly okay with you wanting nothing to do with him

He understands

It will take a while to fully convince him that you are in control of your urges, but one he's convinced he is on your side 100%

Vampire! Bella:

Definitely the most sympathetic

She was the most recent change, she remembers it the most

Even though she did have her self-control on her side, she still remembers how difficult it was

Will stand by your side no matter what

She's not scared of you or what you could do

To her you're still you

Will do her best to help you with anything you need

Does her best to help give you distractions if there are people nearby

Once she believes you're ready, she will not take no for an answer

She's stubborn

Very good support tho 10/10

[kanagenwrites]

Hey folks. My name is Kanagen (It's pronounced Ka-na-ngen. Kana is fine.), and I'm a writer. I mostly write sci-fi with a more or less sapphic bent, and I'm not shy about putting lewd content in what I write because fuck petty moralism.

I'm active in the Human Domestication Guide writing community, where apart from being an author (see below), I'm also a Loret, which means I help maintain and update the lore of the setting, help new creators with questions about it or how to fit a story into it, and so on. All of my publicly available fiction at the moment is HDG content, but I plan on working more on my own original settings and concepts in the future.

I have a patreon, where I post my current long-form project's drafts chapter by chapter, once weekly. I also occasionally talk about my writing process. I'm hoping to expand content there in the future as well.

I don't use social media very much because I remember what the internet used to be like before walled gardens and techbros ruined it. (You kids really don't know what you're missing.) Nevertheless, the life of a freelance writer rather demands I put myself out there somehow, so here I am. Ask me questions, behold the weird stuff I reblog, and try not to get too parasocial with me. I'm just a weird lady who puts words in funny shapes.

Bibliography

Long-Form Fiction

No Gods, No Masters - A revolutionary leftist copes with the subtle differences between her own idea of the perfect world and the just-a-little-off version of it the Affini offer. First novel-length work in the Tillandsia Trilogy; highly suggested you read this before The Floret in the Mirror and especially Freedom's Ember.

The Floret in the Mirror - A mystery/thriller about identity, digitization, and impossible simulated lewdness. Content warning for amnesia resulting from traumatic brain injury as part of the setup. Sequel to No Gods, No Masters.

Freedom's Ember (ongoing) - Sixty years after the Affini conquered her world, a woman clings to her independence; sixty years after being frozen for cryogenic flight from the Affini, a woman struggles to discover who she really is when freed from her father's influence. What is freedom, and what does it mean in the context of the Compact? Sequel to No Gods, No Masters and The Floret in the Mirror, conclusion of the Tillandsia Trilogy.

Sui Generis - A martian attorney living on Earth finds adjusting to life with the Affini easier than most; she was already keeping her wife as a pet before they arrived. The real question is, where's that strange jealousy coming from?

Short Fiction

Mainspring - A Terran secret agent is captured by the Affini, trapped by artist for whom his body is a canvas, and she means to make of him her magnum opus. Wind-up doll content, and probably my most commonly cited story for "this rewired my brain"-style reactions.

Reading the Leaves - A tea-obsessed barista, an affini new to humanity, and a sweet (if awkward) romance culminating in a very raunchy ending. Entry for the HDG February Fluff Fic Jam 2024.

The Fifth Fundamental Force - This story is a silly joke. It should not be taken seriously, though many inevitably do.

Aftertaste (stalled) - A former quadrillionaire and epicure who just barely avoided domestication is tracked down by an affini culinary anthropologist who wants to use his brain to reconstruct a lost flavor using his long-buried memory - he was the last human to ever taste bluefin tuna. This fic is only sporadically updated because the stars must precisely align for my brain to be in a state to write boyliker fic. Sorry, I'm just really gay, y'all.

[anemonelovesfiction]

Colors of Pandora 4: Green

Lo’ak x Fem! Human Reader

Emotion: Jealousy

Warnings ⚠️: Slight bit of angst (I think I’m using this term correctly?) SAFE FOR WORK

I’m hoping y’all are enjoying this as much as I am, I went to town on this prompt specifically.

Tagging @xylianasblog so she can see this as well!!

Translation Station

Marui: Home (in Metkayina)

Kelku: Home (in Omatikaya)

Tsakarem: Tsahik in training

Olo’eyktan: Male Clan Leader

Tsahik: Head Shaman; High Priest; Interpreter of the will of Eywa

Word count: 2k

Being a human on Pandora meant it was hard for me to find a place to fit in, especially whilst I was in the Metkayina clan after everything that had happened to them, things seemed rather tense whenever I would come along, but nobody had said anything to me and I’d like to think it was because of Spider’s presence here. The reason I frequent the land of Awa’atlu was because Jake and Norm managed to strike a bargain of trade within the Omatikaya and Metkayina clans, mostly plants and fruits that didn’t grow in either climate were exchanged, but there was the occasional weapon placed for trade, and plenty of crafts like blankets, yarn, string, shells, beads; all you could imagine really.

I sat here in Jake and Neytiri’s marui - a funny word used here instead of kelku- creating a bracelet of my own for the boy who held my heart in his very large hands. I was currently sitting with my legs dangling from the opening as I paired another one of the beads I held that resembled my eye color, placing it next to the beads that resembled his eyes in their most constant shade: Green.

“What are you making?” Tuk is the first to ask as she places a sporadic array of beads on the craft she was currently working on. Although I hadn’t been too sure if she was making a necklace or a bracelet, I had honestly been too scared to ask as I didn’t want to come off as rude and hurt her feelings, I smiled gently to myself after her question and turned to look at her.

“I’m making a bracelet for your brother, the colors I chose are his eye color and mine, it’s a silly tradition some people used to do back on Earth from what Norm has told me.” I stated as I grabbed a white bead to separate the two colored beads that had currently been placed together, placing his green color on next.

“Our eyes change color though,” Tuk explains to me and her confusion is heard through her statement, Kiri quickly shushing the girl in an attempt to keep the peace, but I could have laughed at her comment with how adorable she was.

“They do,” I agree with her as I watch her place another sporadic assortment of colorful trinkets onto her craft, none of the beads had matched and neither did the decorations, but she seemed to enjoy what she was doing, and placing a lot of focus onto it.

“But they are almost always green, especially when you guys lived in the forest, the prettiest shade too.” I mumbled the last bit to myself as I continued the process, tying the beads in as the metkayina do with their jewelry to ensure they don’t snap off while underwater.

“I guess,” Tuk shrugs as she finished off her craft and begins tying it off.

I’d shifted my gaze over toward the waves of the island carefully lapping up in the sand, and right where I stared popped up a familiar head of someone holding a their hand up in victory. I smiles up knowing who it had been coming above the water but felt my heart stop the second his hands reached out for hers. The way they held each others arms as the two smiled had caused a tinge of a feeling I’d never felt before.

“Who is that with Lo’ak?” I asked toward Kiri, who was sitting beside me with her back toward the wall of the marui, as I sat with my legs dangling out of the entrance, she shifts herself to sit on her knees as she twists her body around, head now peaking out the entrance of the marui to get a good look at what I was currently seeing.

“Oh, thats Tsireya, the tsakarem she is also the Olo’eyktan and tsahik’s daughter,” Kiri explains as she settles back into her original position to continue working on the shall she had been making for herself.

Kiri had always been kind to me and has accepted me as a friend ever since we were young, Spider and I were twins and we were always tied to the hip, wherever he went I followed closely behind, so its no surprise we ended up befriending the Sully’s.

“What are they doing?” I attempted to make it sound as though I were interested in what they had been doing, but I was gathering intel, was I making a mistake by holding on to the promise he’d made me before he had met her?

“Tsireya trains a lot of the children to swim, since we are new to their way of living she had taken it upon herself to teach all of us.” Kiri explains to me as she ties off another row, grabbing a second colored yarn and tying it toward the one she held, transitioning her colors to make a multi-colored shall.

“But you’ve been here for a year, whats left for her to teach you guys?” I asked rather stiffly as I finished tying off the bracelet I had made, tying the beginning and end together.

“Can I see your wrist please?” I asked without waiting for an answer toward my first question and watch as she offers her wrist to me, I slid the bracelet on to check the size and was tempted to smile for a moment before the scowl in my face deepened.

The bracelet had been slightly big on Kiri, which meant it would fit nicely on Lo’ak, but at this point I wasn’t sure if I had wanted to give him the bracelet I’d made.At this point I had slid the bracelet off of Kiri’s wrist and held it before hearing a tiny chuckle coming from her, my eyes drift up towards hers and I frown while crossing my arms.

“Whats so funny?” I demanded like a child who was close to throwing a tantrum, knowing there probably was a good reason she had been laughing at me.

“You can’t be serious, Y/n.” She is quick to answer cryptically and I was tempted to roll my eyes.

“You don’t have to be jealous of her, she’s got a crush on Neteyam, Lo’ak and her are just good friends.”

I could feel the blush covering my face at the moment and was tempted to look away but refused since I didn’t want to admit I had felt jealous towards her.

I had seen Tsireya a couple of times before and even though she was a different species, she was still beyond beautiful, I could feel the jealousy rile up in me any time I’d see her and Lo’ak talking to one another, although it was usually short lived as he would usually spend a lot of his time with me while I was here.

________

I sat on the sands of the beach, watching as the waves came up toward the shore, only to change their minds and retreat back into the body of water. I let out a sigh as I tightly clutched the matching bracelets in my hands, having to fold Lo’ak’s into a circle twice to get it to hide in my palms, I’d grown too nervous to meet him and it was about time for myself and Norm to head back to the Omatikaya high camp.

Although a bargained deal had been made to trade, there was never a deal made for us to be allowed to stay, meaning we’d had to go back home by the end of the night and we wouldn’t be allowed to come back until the following week for more trades to be made.

Norm and I usually stayed a day or two in order to clear shop, but the days had ended up going by faster than I thought, and I haven’t even managed to sneak some alone time with Lo’ak. But I didn’t want to rip him away from the new friends he’s managed to make while being here and I was left with no cuddles.

“Kiri said you had something for me,” His voice breaks me out of my thoughts as he managed to sneak up on me and sit beside me.

I guess I should have been happy to have had him next to me, but a part of me still felt that green envy of him having been with Tsireya for a majority of the day, I wanted to push those thoughts to the back of my mind but I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried.

I could only clutch my palms tighter together to prevent any of the bracelet from sneaking out past my hands. I didn’t think now was a perfect time to showcase my craft but I found myself chewing on my bottom lip as all I could think was seeing him and Tsireya together.

“Do you like her?” I asked without being able to stop my tongue from speaking my mind. I could have slapped myself but felt my hands squeezing onto the bracelets as a way to brace for impact.

“Only as a friend, nothing more.” He responds evenly and I feel myself sighing with relief, until I felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to gasp and look up at him.

“I made a promise to you before we left, didn’t I?” He asks and I could feel myself nodding along to his words.

“I intend to keep that promise.” He states while holding his hand out, I look at it before looking back at him, seeing him nod his head gently.

“It’s a bracelet,” I spoke before taking the double-looped bracelet in my palm and placing it in his, my nerves spiking after as I felt the craft I’d spent all day on was suddenly inadequate.

“It’s beautiful, it’s our eye colors isn’t it?” He asks as he marvels at my craft, quick to inspect it as his fingers run along the beads. I could only nod as I continued holding my own, it had taken me a few visits to finally learn how to tie beads like the Metkayina do.

“You tied them in like they do here,” He speaks as his eyes find mine and I nod once more.

“Kiri told me about your responsibilities as a diver and how you’re almost always in the water, I figured they’d last longer if I learned how to weave like the people do here, that way it will last longer.” I admitted to him and felt the need to look away shyly.

He is quick to take it out of his palm and place the craft around his wrist, fitting snugly against his skin, I could see the smile forming on his lips and it warmed my heart to see him wearing it.

“Where is it?” He asks suddenly and I find myself staring back at him, my head tilted to the side as I attempt to figure out what it is he’s asking me.

“Where’s what?” I asked before he eyes my hands again, taking them in his own as he carefully pries mine open to reveal the similar yet very small bracelet in my own hands, I smile as I see him take it out of my very hands and bringing my wrist closer toward his face. He carefully ties the bracelet on my wrist and smiles.

“There, now we match.” He smiles at me and I could feel myself blushing at his actions, my face feeling hot underneath the mask I was wearing.

“Remind me again,” I spoke suddenly as I held his giant hands in my tiny one, attempting to interlace my fingers with his to the best of my ability.

“Of what?” He asks with a smirk, already knowing what it was I had been asking, I giggle before responding.

“Your promise to me.” I stated

“I promise to wait for you, no matter what oceans and lands tear us apart, you’re mine as much as I am yours.”

[bunnybubae]

(M)🚦Red Light: The Strength | Ch2 [JJK]

👉🏻[Series Masterpost]

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (GymOwner!JK/MotoRacer!JK/Biker!JK-TattoArtist!OC)

Genre: S2L - Smut - Fluff - Angst

Summary: Jeon Jungkook never let any distraction take him away from his motorcycle or his gym for more than one night. He just wants to speed around the track and feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the sex he gets thanks to his charm, is just a side dish to his life. A tough past brought him on that Ducati that he learned to love, a past  you'll uncover, as you slowly seep in under his skin. It's a hell of a ride, in all senses, as you try to escape your own hell in the meanwhile.  Where will this ride bring you? Will it be worth it in the end?

Chapter Warnings:  lots of teasing, longing, JK is a menace, heavy flirting, he calls her princess sometimes, sporadic mentions of the ex I hate him, Hani and Tae are annoying but we love them anyway, overall a chapter based on their first ride together.

Wc: 7.3k

A/N: Hello there! Second chapter is here and I hope you'll like it! As always, I'm sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so pls bear with me! 🫶🏻 Let me know what you think about the series, my box is always open! - Joy🐰

November 30th, Thursday

“Wanna do one last session?” 

Your workout today has been intense, Jungkook is already all sweaty as he approaches you gasping for air. Since he taught you a combination of punches, he loves to keep you trained by wearing mitts and letting you hit them in a given order and speed, hence why he's willing to go one more time despite his tiredness.

These sessions are a great way to improve your guard and reflexes and you noticed some benefits right away when you first tried, over two months ago. Over this time, you've learned a lot thanks to his patience and way of teaching.

The water you're sipping flows pleasantly down your throat, refreshing you as you try to enjoy this little break. Your clothes are sticking on your skin uncomfortably, but you feel like you can push your limit a little bit, before you can finally relax your muscles and take a much needed shower. You nod at him, putting aside your water bottle.

The gym is now pretty much empty, all thursday night it takes place the last adult class of the week before the gym is open on the weekend for the equipment usage only, so all members usually rush to the showers earlier to avoid it being too crowded in the changing rooms when the shift is actually done.

This gives you the opportunity to take advantage of the available space to give your all during your last mitt session of the week.

You hear him slap the gloves he's wearing, ready to receive your punches and when you put yours back on and reach him at the center of the tatami, his gaze momentarily lands on your face.

"Aww, is princess too tired?"

He fakes a mocking pout as he looks at you with those big doe eyes, his ruffled hair is giving him a cute look right now, in perfect contrast with his glistening muscles and heavy breathing. The duality is impressive. He manages to annoyingly tease you every time he gets the chance and he always looks so cute and hot at the same time. You roll your eyes, mostly annoyed at yourself for the effect this mix has on you.

"Princess is always ready to destroy your mitts." You puff away, drying up some sweat on your forehead in the process.

"Destroy is a strong word, with those cute little hands I'd say you barely tickle the mitts, but whatever you wanna believe."

This is his way to encourage you, you know it very well by now. 

He wants you to hit harder and harder, each punch more precise than the previous one and you find yourself smiling in defiance as you adjust your posture. He wants you to prove him wrong, even if he knows you're able to punch hard enough now, he wants you to show him but most of all yourself that you can always improve. It became one of his favorite hobbies, to tease you endlessly, and if this can push you to give your all, it's like killing two birds with one stone.

"Last time these cute little hands," You show him your gloved fists "punched your side by accident and you complained about it for a whole half an hour." You reply, looking at him with a smirk as he assumes his usual posture on the tatami, right in front of you.

"But I was still standing though, wasn't I? Anything that doesn't knock me out is a tickle, princess."

He continues to smile at you as he languidly motions for you to come closer to begin as you try to avoid the annoyingly pleasant sensation that this stupid pet name always provokes you.

You snort softly at his remark and you ready yourself to throw the first punch at his signal.

"Won't be an accident next time and you're gonna regret what you just said." Your words sound like a poor threat that makes him chuckle.

"I'm so scared." The shiver he faked while smirking is enough to make you roll your eyes once again. Something that happens quite often with him. Bantering with you is so satisfying for him, he knows you're going to give him what he's looking for, just to prove him wrong.

He starts moving the mitts he's wearing and in a matter of seconds, the loud sound of your gloves hitting his fills the room.

Punching them or the punching bags is always so liberating. 

The movements you can make now are much smoother and precise than before, and you quickly began to love the feeling of a punch that hits its target correctly. You're so tired after an entire workout, but you still manage to hit his gloves in the right order, without missing one. 

He's always been well concentrated on your technique during this kind of exercises, but you recently noticed that he lets his eyes wander around your body more often during mitt sessions, and you have to admit that you like it. It makes you feel attractive even if you're all messy and sweaty. 

Gym clothing hugs your body perfectly, accentuating your curves just right. It must be a great distraction for him as you catch his eyes falling on your cleavage. This detail makes you giggle as you throw the last few punches of the combo.

You gasp for breath, looking at him with a satisfied grin on your face, both for the well execution of the session and for his obvious glances on you.

"What were you looking at, huh?" Jungkook removes his mitts as his guilty gaze meets yours nonchalantly.

"They were staring at me, not my fault." 

You laugh out loud at his silliness, causing him to join you when you throw your gloves at him.

You feel regenerated both mentally and physically when you come to the gym to workout with him, Jungkook always finds ways to boost your self-esteem and to make you believe in your capacities. 

To banter with him, teasing him and letting him tease you, honestly the best part of the experience.

It's thanks to him if you're more confident now, he's the kind of instructor who is keen to remind you that hard work always pays off and that your improvements are evident after each workout. You're grateful to him for this, this kind of stimulus helps you keep your determination high. He's also a pleasure for the eyes, but that's another story.

“Anyway, I need to tease you more often, those little fists were slightly more than ticklish today!” When he acts like this, you just want to erase that smirk of his by slamming your lips on it. 

God, you wish you could do that, you way too frequently find yourself wondering how would it feel to have that lip ring brushing on your skin. You imagine his pillowy lips dance with yours, wondering if they are as soft as they look.

He catches you staring at his mouth for a while too long and, like a cherry on the cake, you keep watching him as he lets his tongue poke out to briefly wet the line of his lower lip to then play with the piercing that rests on its corner. A wider smirk takes place on his tired face, one aware of what he's doing to you. His lips are glistening now and you wish you could taste them.

You look away as you try to ignore the feeling that such a simple thing caused in your belly.

"Shut up." you mumble as you move to reach your discarded gym bag at the corner.

"Make me."

When you turn around to look at him again, Jungkook has a seemingly more serious expression and even his tone didn't seem to match his usual way of teasing you.

This sounded different.

His eyes are fixed on you with an enticing look. You're not sure you heard him correctly initially and you instinctively look at your surroundings. There's no one around, Is he really aware of what he's implying? Is he ambiguously asking you to shut him up with a kiss?

Your cheeks are on fire as your eyes drop briefly to his lips again, that sensation in your belly grows a little more. Does he really want it?

"W-what?"

Jungkook lets out a low chuckle, wetting his lips before he breaks eye contact with you and picks up your gloves and his so he can store them.

"I'm teasing you princess," he says lowly as he walks away "I like seeing you all flustered."

Damn you, Jeon Jungkook, and his effect on you.

You can't see his face, but you can hear it in his voice that he's smirking proudly.

"As I said before, next time it won't be an accident, you'll regret it." He laughs and you try your best to pretend that his actions and words are effectless on you as you follow him to the same corner to collect your things.

When you check the time on your phone your stomach drops.

It's way past the time you usually leave, you haven't even booked an uber yet and the gym closes in less than 10 minutes.

"Shit" you mutter.

"What's wrong?"

You're frowning and your expression seems to worry him as he turns to you.

“I didn't think it was this fucking late!” A mixture of irritation and concern laced with your voice. “Can I still take a shower?”

He observes you as the rush has begun to take over your body as you quickly gather everything up.

"Are you sure this isn't all an excuse to stay alone with me a little longer?"

You come to a halt. Smart guy, he knows by now that you want to leave early every time for a reason he ignores, and by asking this, he knows that you'll have to answer, one way or the other. Either way he'll get something he wants: a flirty answer or the truth. He still leaves the choice up to you, not forcing you to tell him exactly why you're always in a rush but hoping you would tell him anyway.

He's looking at you with a flirty gaze to hide his curiosity.

You're not really sure you want to talk about your ex who ruined your life right now and at the same time you don't want him to think there is actually something to worry about, given your sudden concern.

Your face softens a little, you prefer a million times more to flirt with him than to talk about Ray. So you take the opportunity to flirt back and avoid spilling the real reason.

"You'd like that, huh?" you reply quickly as you cross your arms over your chest.

"I'd start to think you have a crush on me."

You feel your cheeks blush and you can't help it, you just hope he doesn't decide to tease you further for this. It's like he's trying to pull out at least one truth from you, given the fact that you refuse to speak about the real reason behind your hurry, it's like he's trying to get you to at least admit you're attracted to him.

You decide to bypass his last remark, not wanting to give a clear answer to that so you opt for something else, "I-I forgot to book an uber earlier and I'd rather take a shower while I wait for it to arrive."

Which is basically true, despite you've omitted the part that includes your fear of encountering your crazy ex.

Jungkook smiles gently at you, you can see on his face that he really loves teasing you and seeing you so bothered because of it.

Maybe you just gave away one truth anyway by stuttering like that.

"I can take you home after I tidy up, if you don't mind being a little late."

You ponder for a brief moment but you don't really have to make a decision. You would answer him right away with enthusiasm, but it would be too obvious.

Is there any possibility you would refuse? Of course not. You wouldn't have to wait outside and to be honest, getting the chance to spend some more time with him, you don't mind at all.

"Who's the one making excuses to be alone with me now, huh?"

Your cheeks are still burning but you reply confidently as you smirk at him, proud of your flirty retort. You'd be lying if you said you don't like flirting back like this. Your confidence wins over your shyness most of the time. If only your cheeks would collaborate more.

Jungkook catches your gaze for a second, one of his eyebrows shoots up in surprise, as he smiles back "What if that were the case?”

“I'd start to think you have a crush on me, Jeon Jungkook.”

"You'd like that, huh?"

His voice is soft and you match his tone when you cunningly say,

"And what if that were the case?"

You look into each other's eyes as you try to hold back your laughter, dying inside as the flutter in your stomach intensifies. You're sure you can toast some bread on your cheeks by now.

Jungkook's flirting became more and more intense with time and so is your attraction toward him, your way of playing the game became more and more explicit. You love this, even though he can be a little annoying at times and he makes you blush incessantly, this thing that you two share always brings a smile to your face.

He pushes his tongue inside his cheek in amusement, a distinctive trait of his when you find a nice retort to his flirty banter. It's clear that he loves seeing you all flustered but apparently he gains even more satisfaction by this confident side of you.

Everyone left except you and him. As you shower, you feel the weight on your chest slowly lifting at the idea of not having to wait outside alone at this hour. It reassures you knowing that Jungkook himself will take you home, it makes you feel excited and nervous at the same time.

When you finish and you're happily clean and dry, you return to the main room of the gym. You notice that it is now mostly rearranged and that the place almost seems bigger like this. The faint smell of flowers stronger than before. 

You find Jungkook busy with reorganizing the dumbbells rack and when you approach him, you tell him that you can continue fixing the place so he can have the opportunity to take a shower. He accepts, thanking you and then heading towards the men's changing rooms as he assures you that he won't take long.

You finished tidying up the gym, finding the time to water the flowers and plants before checking the time. It's already past 11pm.

You had never stayed till gym closing and you didn't think Jungkook had to stay so late every night to clean up the entire place by himself.

When he's back, he's wearing black fitted motorcycle pants, you notice the padding at each knee and you gladly take in the sight of his muscled thighs, perfectly wrapped by the fabric.

His baggy sweatshirt deceives from the real size of his shoulders and pecs but you think this style suits him, the fact that you saw him shirtless multiple times and that you know what his muscles look like underneath his sweatshirt, makes a shiver run down your spine.

He thanks you for the help and tells you to wait for him at the emergency exit on the other side of the gym as he needs to shut down the lights before you can leave.You comply, taking your bag on your shoulder and reaching the exit that gives to the back of the building.

When he arrives you notice that he is carrying a backpack and that he's holding a black helmet with red and white details that you cannot define.

Fuck, you'll get on a motorcycle for the first time and it's gonna be with him. The mere realization makes you a little nervous.

He smiles at you spontaneously before you walk out together and he shuts the door behind him.

The back of the gym is dimly lit but you can take a glimpse at the red fairing of a motorcycle, parked a few meters away from you. The light from the street lamp gives it a nice glow and for some reason you can't stop looking at it. It's different from Tae's and you reckon he's right by saying that every motorcycle reflects its rider a little.

Tae's is a beautiful midnight blue, with an almost elegant shape for a sports motorcycle, while this is a vibrant red, with black, white and golden details. The shape of the two front headlights seems to look at you with challenge, somehow it's similar to its owner's defiant gaze. You think it suits Jungkook's vibe perfectly.

“How fast is this beauty?” you ask curiously as you stop near it.

"It depends. On the track very, very fast, on the road the speed limits."

Jungkook places his backpack on the saddle, and you watch him take out a jacket and a pair of gloves.

“I bet that's what you tell the cops.” you snort.

"Yes, officer." 

“Do I look like a cop to you?” you giggle at the thought. You look at him as he quickly replies with his usual smirk on his lips “Oh I would love to get handcuffed by you, in that case.”

Jungkook locks eyes with you as his grin widens into a smug one. You blush and you thank the heavens that he can't see your burning cheeks due to the low light.

You bite your lip briefly to hold back a smile. "Too bad I'm just a tattoo artist then." 

Your voice is soft and it's clear that you would love it too. You would enjoy your ways with him, spread on your bed, hands immobilized over his head as you do everything you imagined and fantasized to do to him over the weeks, just to hear him groan in satisfaction.

His face shifts to a little more serious one, his smug smile is still there but in his eyes you glimpse that veil of sadness that often comes to visit him.

You would like to ask him something, anything that could make you understand even remotely what is tormenting him, but you never find the courage to go beyond this exchange of glances, it's as if you both know that there is something that torments you respectively, but it's like you want to respect each other's silence at the same time.

It's some sort of silent pact that has been casually created over time: You know there's something, I know there's something, none of us will go beyond this.

Even if sometimes you both gave the chance to speak up, neither of you forced the other, and it's ok like this.

Before your eyes can even mirror his fragile gaze, Jungkook hands you his jacket.

"Is it your first time on a motorcycle?"

You grab the clothing piece and nod, inspecting it quickly. You notice that it matches the pants he is wearing perfectly: black leather with red and white inserts and as you touch it you can feel the padding positioned in the weakest points of the torso and arms.

"Put it on, I won't speed but better safe than sorry."

By the time you wear it and zip it up, Jungkook is already on his motorcycle. The jacket is a little too big for you but it smells so much like him that it almost feels like he's hugging you tightly. 

What a sweet poison to your brain. Feels like it can be addicting and that's dangerous.

You let the sensation seep through your body for a moment before you notice that Jungkook is watching you with attentive eyes and an indecipherable expression.

He immediately looks away to grab his helmet, which also matches his gear and motorcycle. Then he hands it to you, gesturing to you to put that on too.

The lingering scent of his jacket has been enough to make your heart beat faster, but when you push the helmet on your head, the added scent of his shampoo fills your nostrils and you feel totally overwhelmed by your sensations. 

You feel him everywhere and he's not even touching you.

The roar of the engine surprises you, bringing you back to planet earth. Now that you notice, Jungkook is adjusting his motorcycle gloves and although it's a completely innocent motion, your senses are too affected right now to find it a normal gesture. 

Where's the news though? You've now resigned to the idea that he is able to make anything he does sexy and attractive to your eyes, like that time your gaze shifted to him while he was talking to some members of the gym and he absentmindedly caressed his sore abs. A very normal gesture, but you are so attracted to him that even such a harmless movement had an effect on you, just like now, as he fixes his gloves on his motorcycle.

"Where am I taking you?" Jungkook places the phone on the specific support on the handlebars, and then presses your address on the screen after explaining to him which area of the city you live in.

Jungkook holds out a hand to you, gesturing with the other towards the footrest on the sides of the bike.

"When you're ready, put your left foot on that and bring your right leg over the saddle, unfortunately it's not very comfortable but for such a short ride it should be fine."

You follow his instructions, placing your hand on his to give you support as you sit behind him.

This is where the closeness starts to make you feel warm, but you're determined to blame the padded jacket for most of it. His firm back against your chest can't cause you such warmth, right?

"Aren't you going to be cold?" You ask, feeling a little guilty at the idea to make him drive in just his sweatshirt.

"Don't worry about it," Jungkook shakes his head and then puts his hands on the tank in front of him "Put your hands here for support or wrap your arms around my belly if you need." Explaining that when accelerating you might lose your balance.

You would've said something about his suggestion to put your arms around his body, but you sense that he's serious right now and you don't want to tease him. He wants to make sure everything goes well and that you're comfortable during the ride. You smile at the way he's trying to make your first experience as enjoyable as possible, even while remaining without his gear in the process.

“Okay, I'm ready.” you finally say as you position your hands on the tank as per his instructions.

Jungkook nods, he turns towards you after looking at you from the side mirror and with one hand, he manages to close the visor that you had forgotten open.

You thank him by shouting into the helmet to make sure he can hear you and the muffled tone of your voice makes him chuckle.

Jungkook takes off the side stand when he feels the weight of your body resting on his back and your hands are firmly leaning on the tank in front of him, then he speeds up to leave the parking lot and the roar of the engine runs through your body.

You never thought you'd get on a motorcycle, since Tae offered you a ride a couple of times and you never felt entirely comfortable at the idea of riding in this position with him. Not that it necessarily implies anything intimate or inappropriate. You trust Tae, but you kinda feel a strange connection to Jungkook right now. Maybe it's the vicinity mixed with wearing his gear that makes you feel somewhat closer to him in a deeper sense, it's a strange feeling added to the utter attraction you already feel for him. Riding with Tae would surely be something completely normal between friends, but you're glad you never accepted before, because now you get to enjoy your first ride with Jungkook.

The road is mostly empty and you appreciate the sound of the engine breaking the quietness. Jungkook is keeping his word by driving at a slow but steady pace, the wind ruffles his hair a little and you look at him from the side mirror. You notice that from time to time his eyes also stealthily search your reflected figure. You're glad you have the visor hiding your gaze, so you can check him out as much as you like without him noticing and taking the chance to tease you about it.

Your eyes wander a little further down, lingering on his muscular thighs hugging firmly both sides of the motorcycle. You find yourself fantasizing about him once again but the train of dirty thoughts is brutally interrupted when with a slight braking, your body is unexpectedly pushed forward. Your chest is suddenly pressing a little harder onto his back and a small bump between your helmet and his head is inevitable.

"Oh fuck-sorry!" you shout in displeasure and Jungkook bursts out laughing as he turns to the left before he glances at you from the side mirror briefly.

“It's nothing." He reassures you with a smile and then his focus is on the road again as he plays with his piercing mindlessly.

You're really enjoying your first ride on a motorcycle, something else is now overlying the slight discomfort caused by the saddle. 

The realization that you're living this moment, riding his motorcycle together, on a street lit by colorful street lights flashing on your bodies as the wind caresses your figures. There is something extremely pleasing about all this, something that you have never experienced before.

You recognize your neighborhood as you approach your apartment complex and you feel a little sad, knowing that the ride is almost coming to an end.

Jungkook reaches the outdoor parking lot of a bunch of buildings and follows your directions when you point at the right apartment complex.

He stops at an empty spot near the entrance of the building and he turns off the engine.

When he turns to you, he offers you a hand to help you get down but you turn away, pretending not to see. Jungkook laughs at your futile attempt to stay in the saddle a little longer.

“Isn't it uncomfortable?”

You look at him, tilting your head slightly and opening the visor of the helmet.

"Just a little, but I loved it anyway!"

He can see your eyes only and they are glowing right now with content. The same glint he had at the beginning, when he first discovered this passion of his, when everything felt so new to him, when everything was still… normal. 

He tries to push aside the impending sadness that threatens to take over his features, you're so cheerful right now and Jungkook couldn't be happier to be sharing with you your first experience, the least he can do is to not ruin it.

He has the sweetest smile right now, one that reaches the depths of his eyes. Witnessing him like this, disheveled, with cheeks and nose reddened from the cold and a smile brighter than the sun, you understand that these "things" you're feeling for him, are dangerous. You're sure the "things" were limited to a simple physical attraction, but the more you spend time with him and the deeper you get to know him, the more a feeling that scares you creeps up on you, one that explains in an appalling way the meaning of the flutter you feel in your stomach every once in a while when you're with him.

You wish you were able to navigate these waters like anyone else would, with a little shyness perhaps, but with a great desire to discover where such a beautiful feeling that once made you feel so alive, might lead in the future.

You realize Ray has really taken away all your enthusiasm for anything beyond physical attraction. And he comes in your mind too often for your liking.

Better shove this sensation back where it came from. Feelings and deep trust for someone always lead to a bruised heart at the end, and an aftermath you wish you could recover faster from.

You decide it's better for you to preserve what you've achieved till now, it's easier to manage the lust that spreads through your body when you see him, you don't need that little seed to bloom in your heart, you won't allow its prettiness to break you apart and all you needed to realize this, are these beautiful doe eyes that are watching you right now through the side mirror.

You look away with a little effort, deciding that it's better to get off of the motorcycle now. You put your hands on his shoulders to balance yourself on the footrest, pushing a little of your weight on them to bring your right leg over the motorcycle and onto the ground.

You feel a tingly sensation all over your legs but it's nothing uncomfortable.

You take off the jacket and when he grabs it up to put it on, the fabric fits his body perfectly and you can't help but look at the way it seems to flatter his broad shoulders even more.

Jungkook hums in satisfaction as he allows the jacket to warm his body and he smiles when you reluctantly remove the helmet.

Your slightly ruffled hair slides over your shoulders and the padding marks of the helmet plows your cheeks. He keeps looking at you, as if he wants to tell you something but he immediately thinks better of it apparently, as he says nothing.

“Thanks for the ride, it was really cool.” you say when you hand him his helmet.

"No problem, glad you enjoyed it."

When he puts it on, you take a moment to take in the sight of his figure in his motorcycling gear. Jungkook has a gorgeous body, there's no doubt about that, he's hot in his gym clothing but he's even hotter on his motorcycle. You realize that you haven't been particularly discreet checking him out, especially when he looks at you through his helmet, you know very well that he is smirking all satisfied, you can see it in his eyes.

"Be careful on your way home."

It's what you say, it comes out all of a sudden as Jungkook restarts the engine and removes the side stand.

"I'll definitely be more careful now that no one's going to bump into my head whenever I brake."

There it is,you should've expected it.

You sigh in defeat as a smile forms on your lips anyway, the usual Jungkook, always up to tease you. 

"It happened just one time!"

When you lock eyes with him again, Jungkook winks at you, “See you at the gym.”

You nod waving at him as you watch him lower the visor and leave the parking lot, not wasting the opportunity to rev his engine before he sprints away.

You just rode a motorcycle with Jungkook. The bright smile on your face is one that hasn't been seen in far too long.

You wouldn't dare say it but you definitely feel far more serene in your life, there is only this little seed that's bothering you, but you tell yourself it can die easily if you don't nourish it, just like when you don't water your plants. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Your ex has taken your smile away for too long and you almost feel the unconscious need to immediately put aside any positive and genuine emotion, afraid that it will be brutally taken away from you by an unexpected visit from him. At least like this, it's you who decided to put it willingly away.

That's how much Ray's behavior actually affected you.

As you walk towards the entrance, clutching the bag on your shoulder, you think that at least this once, you want to enjoy this little achievement. You can see from the elevator mirror that the girl in the reflection deserves to enjoy this smile for a little longer.

Within the four walls of your apartment, Ray wont be able to wipe it away and the one that often creeps in your mind is already fading away as you think back at the time spent with Jungkook tonight.

With this thought, you get yourself ready to sleep and as you fall into your bed, letting your soft bed sheets wrap around you, you're still sporting one genuine smile.

You almost feel like a teenager experiencing things for the first time. You feel like this after Ray and his hell, every positive emotion feels so new and strong, to the point that you're able to sleep like a child until the next morning.

December 1st, Friday

It was enough for you to mention Jungkook and Motorcycle in the same sentence to turn Hani into a brakeless question machine.

You're in the middle of a tattoo, while your client and Hani are listening to you intently as you talk about yesterday's evening.

They both chuckle when your storytelling digress into an accurate description of the motorcycle gear on Jungkook's body. Hani is so hyped by the whole thing that it's impossible not to smile at her silliness.

She told you several times in the past few months that the gym was doing wonders to you, but that she knew it had something to do with this guy as well. 

You know each other since you were children, she can read you like an open book and even if it may be bothersome sometimes, this skill of hers helped you multiple times in the past.

"And here I thought he was cold as ice!" Hani begins "He always seemed so impassive when we happened to bump into each other at Tae's."

If you stop to think for a moment, he often assumes expressions that don't match at all with the description you gave just now. Last night's Jungkook was an extremely thoughtful and attentive guy, but you know that he often gets lost in his things and thoughts and takes on an almost intimidating appearance when this happens.

You don't know how to explain this duality that characterizes him, sometimes it doesn't take much to make him go back to the Jungkook who laughs and jokes with everyone, other times he is too immersed in something that's able to cast a shadow in his gaze. Maybe that's what Hani has seen and you can't help but wonder if the bright side you're used to, it's actually the rarer or maybe selective one of him.

"Sometimes maybe? But it was kind of him to bring me home, he gave me his gear to make sure I was comfortable."

You admit as you continue to poke your client's skin with a subtle smile on your lips.

"He gave you his gear?" Hani asks in surprise as she is busy taking care of something around the shop. Even your client reacted to that, muffling a sound that resembled one of approval.

You nod, because you know she is staring at you right now. You already know what's about to happen. You focus on the tattoo, avoiding to meet her scanning eyes, she has an overly broad smile right now, even if you can't see it you know it's there. 

Since you started telling her about your experiences at the gym, Hani teased you about your visible attraction for him. This last tell tell of last evening with him only increased her beliefs, obviously. Your hopes that she won't ask you the fateful question are promptly destroyed when, knowing your best friend far too well, it was bound to be asked sooner or later. 

"You really like him, huh? And now it's obvious that he likes you back!"

You knew it, it was predictable.

You sigh, “I don't want relationships.” You respond resolutely, still avoiding her gaze.

"You avoided the question, typical."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did! You could have said no, but instead you immediately clarified that YoU DoNt WaNt ReLaTiOnShIpS and I didn't even speak about relationships!"

She mocks you amused, you can hear it in her voice as you roll your eyes in annoyance.

You know you have some sort of a crush on Jungkook even if you don't want to admit it openly. He became a good friend and yes, you would definitely have sex with him right now if you could, but one thing you're most certain of is that you won't let this little something of a deeper feeling grow further. So yeah, you don't want relationships, but you do like him.

"He's hot as fuck, alright? That's all, we're friends and that's enough."

You meet her gaze to try to convince her you're not omitting anything important with this statement. Hani knows you too well though, your behavior in the past few months gave her answers anyway. She's willing to let you believe your response was convincing enough as she smirks at you and you focus your attention once again on the skin of your client, who's meanwhile listening with patience.

"A friend you'd gladly fuck though, am I right?"

You think you could strike her dead with just a look right now. 

She's right, but she doesn't need to know it. 

As you're about to find an excuse to change the subject, you hear the jiggle of the bell at the entrance.

An immense sense of release takes over you, saved by a bell. Hani chuckles as she leaves the room to reach the door. You hear Taehyung's voice behind you and you thank the heavens for the coincidence. As you keep chit chatting with your client, you continue the job on her skin, pushing aside the conversation with your friend.

Shortly after finishing the tattoo, you take care of the area with the usual cream, giving some advice on tattoo treatment and any precautions while you accompany your client to the counter to pay.

When you look at the clock, it's almost time to close, the customer leaves the shop after saying her goodbyes and you join your friends on the sofa of the little lounge area by the entrance, after locking the door and lowering the curtain over it.

“Damn I'm exhausted.” You let out, enjoying the feeling of the soft pillows against your back.

Tae and Hani watch you from where they're seated in front of you and you hear them giggling.

You lift your head in confusion as you look at them with a frown.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, I was thinking that next friday there'll be a pre-race weekend party." Tae begins, he has a particularly cheeky smile that almost irritates you, deep down you imagine why they're giggling and looking at you like this, but you don't dare to investigate.

"And?" you sound a little exasperated but whatever, today was somewhat challenging and you wish you could go home to rest.

“And I think you should come.” Taehyung concludes as he brings his arms behind his head, making himself comfortable against the sofa.

"Why should I?"

"Are you serious Y/N? Don't make me state the obvious."

Tae knows something, clearly.

You feel rage entering your features when you shift your eyes on Hani. You look at her reproachfully, now you will also have to endure Tae's teasing about last night.

"Don't look at me like that, I know what you're thinking! I didn't say a single word about last night!" She raises her hands in surrender, claiming innocence as Tae bursts out laughing at the two of you.

You're confused, but only briefly. Surprise takes over as you hear his following words.

“Jungkook told me about it.”

"So what?" You prop yourself up on your elbows, explaining that there's no harm in accepting a ride home from a friend.

"You never accepted a ride from me though!"

That's a disgusting smile, right on his face. 

He caught you red handed and he knows it. You're not sure how to respond to that, it's true but you don't want to explain your reasons.

“It was an emergency!” you opt for a semi-truth, hoping they will drop the topic soon.

"Sure, sure. But don't change the subject."

You roll your eyes, sighing heavily as you let your weight sink on the pillows, wishing they could swallow you whole to make you escape from this conversation.

Hani put a hand on Tae's arm as if she wants to stop him from teasing you more. At least for this time, you're glad she is able to read you like an open book. The exasperation must be visible on your face by now.

"You always told me you didn't want to come to these parties because you felt uncomfortable third wheeling, but now you know Jungkook! He'll be there too, we can have some fun all together!" Hani interjects with a calm and gentle tone, she knows it could do you some good, just like joining the gym helped you regain some confidence in yourself.

"And we can introduce you to Hobi too!" Tae adds, that shit eating grin still plastered on his face when he looks at you.

You sigh once again, tired of this whole situation and from the fatigue of the day.

They invited you several times to previous parties, but knowing only them you've always declined. Since you started dating Ray, you've been going to parties less and less and after everything that's happened, being around people you don't know makes you feel a little anxious, so you stopped attending parties a while ago.

You always preferred evenings spent at your usual bar, just the three of you or just you and Hani when Tae is busy.

It's been your comfort zone ever since you broke up with Ray and you never felt the need to change this.

Once again though, your ex comes back in your mind, momentarily outclassing the progress you've made thus far like a haunting ghost.

You really want to overcome all these blocks that he has caused you and just like going to the gym, going back to attend parties and meeting new people can only help you get out of your current comfort zone and get back to the outgoing Y/N you once were before your ex. 

It's another little step to prove yourself you can heal completely, you just need some time and the right spur.

"Ok-ok fine,"

You get up abruptly off the sofa knowing that if you keep brooding you might change your mind and you don't want to give your friends other opportunities to annoy you.

"I'll come."

Hani sings a self made victory fanfara, as she usually does when she gets something she wants.

You can't help but roll your eyes at her silly reactions and you notice that Tae is particularly happy too.

They know the hell you've been living in for the past year, they may be teasing you incessantly, but you know they mean no harm, ever, they just want you to enjoy your life, to be happy again.

When you get home, you think back at Tae's expression when he told you that Jungkook told him he gave you a ride home the night before, you don't want to be delusional but you had the impression that Tae teased Jungkook as well about this, he seemed far too amused about the whole thing.

In any case, you will go to this party and it is another step forward for you, you have every intention of having fun carefree, for too long you have felt like a victim of wills that are not yours, and it is time for you to take control of the situation and do what your own instinct tells you, without external influences.

Afterall, no one ever wants to leave their safe bubble, but no changes will occur if you don't try to get out of it. 

Another step out of your comfort zone, another step toward who you used to be.

◀ [Prev. Chapter] | [Next Chapter] ▶

[pekoeboo]

- Story Tag Masterlist + Info -

For anyone who wants a brief overview of the most common tags, stories, and characters that I tend to post about, I've compiled a list to hopefully make it a bit easier to follow along! Keep in mind that a lot of the content posted about these stories is either outdated, or subject to change at any time.

Everything is below the cut, as it got rather long.

-------

- Home Is Where You Are -

A collaborative effort with my friend @cookieg122. HIWYA is a story that follows the journey of three OCs (Khalan, Aya, and Antony) as they discover who they are and what it means to be a family. Initially based on some stuff that happened in a few Minecraft servers, but over time has shifted into a fully original story. It's split into three acts, each focusing on a different part of the characters' journey:

Act I Originally based on the Drehmal: Primordial/Apotheosis Minecraft adventure map that my friends and I had played on some time ago, but now has been replaced with Atria; an original world that @cookieg122 and I are building together.

This current version of the story has Khalan and Aya getting whisked away from their home worlds into Atria by an unknown force. Act I focuses mostly on their growing relationship and their goal to try and return Aya back to her home world of Bocca. However, some of the gods of Atria are not pleased about Khalan and Aya's arrival, as their mere existence seems to defy the very nature of the world, so things get chaotic as the gods desperately try to set things right again.

Act II Aya and Khalan try to escape the wrath of the gods by utilizing a broken portal in an attempt to access Bocca, but are instead flung thousands of years into Atria's future; well after calamity had struck the land and the world began anew. The previous god of death makes a return as a power-hungry demon who consumes souls in an attempt to grow more powerful and regain his godhood. Unfortunately, he targets Khalan as his next victim due to Khalan's immortality being exploitable as an infinite source of energy.

This is also when Antony is introduced to the story and becomes a vital character; permanently weaving his way into Khalan and Aya's lives as he attempts to fight against the demon that is tormenting them. Khalan's Journal (abandoned and incredibly outdated fic) happens during this time.

Act III Aya finally manages to figure out a way to create a portal back to her home world of Bocca, though things aren't at all how she remembered it to be upon returning. Reformation is brewing within the Kingdom of Farfalla, and Aya, Khalan, and Antony get heavily involved in the efforts made to change the kingdom for the better; discovering themselves in the process, growing as a family, and taking some time to heal from the heavy trauma they've been shouldering up to that point.

Important extra content regarding basic character overviews/explanations can be found here and here, for anyone interested... and the (admittedly very small) collection of fics pertaining to this story can be found here on AO3 as well.

---

- Ravenwood RP -

Written roleplay universe that my friend @baskervilleshound and I have been working on for some time, though we tend to keep the actual written story part of it to ourselves.

Ravenwood is a mysterious, creepy town nestled in the middle of a forest that doesn't exist on any map. Time appears to be stuck in the early 90s, monsters are known to roam the woods at night, and once you've entered Ravenwood, there's no way to leave. This RP is mostly filled with the sporadic ideas that my friend and I have come up with regarding our characters being placed in such an interesting setting. It's kind of all over the place, but we're just having fun with it.

---

- Codename: IRIS -

Another story that @cookieg122 and I are working on. Although the characters from HIWYA are used in this story as well, it exists within its own alternate universe.

Codename: IRIS is an story in which a young boy (Khalan) befriends a sentient AI (Aya) within a virtual reality world; using gaming as a form of escape from his abusive home situation and the stress of moving to a new country. Things get out of control as another AI entity known as IRIS v.1 threatens to destroy and corrupt Aya's virtual home, eventually bringing that threat into the real world as well. Both Khalan and Aya, along with the help of their online friend Antony, work together to try and stop v.1's destructive rampage and attempt to also restore Aya's corrupted code and fragmented memories in the process.

Haven't posted much about this one yet, as there's still a lot to it that needs fine-tuning, but here's to hoping that I can share more as time goes on.

-------

So those are the main stories I'm currently working on. I figured I'd keep it limited to just these three for now, though. If you have any questions about them, or other stories I may have posted about as well, feel free to send an ask! I'm always open to sharing more info or clearing up any confusion if possible!

[toomuchracket]

BABYMOON/ first holiday with baby. Matty holding baby in the pool 🥹

oh my god!! yes. i'm imagining the baba being around eighteen months old (walking and kinda talking and eating solid food) when you take them abroad for the first time (although i think, like, uk city breaks with the baby when they're really little would be so cute, just weekends here and there. although god help you trying to get a pram around, say, edinburgh!). they've been teething non-stop for the past 6 months, and all three of you are a little bit stressed and emotional, and maybe you and matty are watching tv one night after the baby's gone to sleep and there's like a holiday/flight company ad (not the fucking jet2 one though i fucking HATE IT lol), and matty just turns to you and says "let's go on holiday". you don't even need convincing - even the THOUGHT of sunshine and sea air and just warmth has you feeling more relaxed already, so you book it then and there. i think you'd pick somewhere that's not too long a flight from london for you and the baby, so maybe you do two weeks in spain - malaga, perhaps? and obv baba is none the wiser, but you and matty are so excited for your first international family holiday. just like he did before they were born, matty almost goes a bit insane with the clothes shopping - he's buying cute little t-shirts and shorts and swimwear for the baby, a pair of tiny little docs sandals (cutest things on earth btw), little sunhats and baseball caps to protect their scalp in the sun (he defo cries at the tiny hats in the shops don't @ me), and even a pair of baby ray-bans that match his :')) and i think matty would totally spoil you with new clothes too! like, this is the first big thing that's happened to you all since the baby was born, and he just wants to treat and appreciate you, love of his life and mother of his child. and matty knows you so well at this point, like he's so attuned to what kind of clothes you like most and feel your best in, so everything he buys you - mostly pretty sundresses/maxi skirts and swimsuits - is something you'll absolutely love.

anyway, onto the actual holiday. the flight itself is alright - baby sleeps for part of it, then looks at a couple of picture books, and the cabin crew are BESOTTED with them - and so is the journey to your villa (i think you'd probs hire a car, just for ease with the little one). and it's incredible - very private, but in a nice area that you can walk around with the baby, which you do most days. i think you definitely go to the beach at least once - baba is NOT vibing with walking on the sand without their sandals on at first, at which you turn to matty and go "that's your genetics, definitely", but they're fine with it after you convince them to do a bit of paddling in the sea and play the game where you jump over the tiny waves. like they literally will not stop giggling and going "more, mummy!" until they're (and you're) exhausted, and then matty builds sandcastles with them while you sit and read your book, looking up sporadically and awww-ing at the sight of their curly heads bowed intently as they create their masterpiece (you take a sneaky pic, which soon becomes your lockscreen). most days, though, you just spend lazing about in the villa, playing in the garden or in the pool and just enjoying the sun - baba's a bit reluctant towards the sunscreen application process, though, and the only way they'll sit through it is if they see you putting it on matty and vice versa. naturally, matty loves this, because it means he gets to touch up his bikini-clad wife multiple times a day - and that's before the proper touching begins after baby goes to bed at night. anyway, back to daytime; truly your favourite thing about the holiday is watching matty and the baba in the pool, the two of them constantly giggling and splashing about. i think matty genuinely tries to teach the little one to swim, like has their little armbands on and some floaties, but most of the time he just holds them as he floats and walks about the pool, talking and singing and playing games. baba's favourite pool game, though, is one you're involved in too, and it came about by accident - you were standing fanning yourself at the poolside one day, and baba was like "mummy hot?", and matty just looked you up and down smirking and went "oh, mummy's hot alright", and you like rolled your eyes and matty laughed and went "come in with us and cool down" and you were like "yeah ok but don't splash me", so obviously matty held the baby and scooted over to you humming the jaws theme and splashed you and you were like "OI" and baba found the whole thing hilarious, so now you have to let the two of them splash you every time you go into the pool. but you don't mind, obvs - they're your family and you love them and you just all have the best time relaxing and having fun <3

[colourfullsims]

Hey Y'all

It's been a minute since I've posted here properly. Life has been life-ing for me in the background - mostly good things though! I found myself a new work-from-home job that I've been getting adjusted to, my brother and his wife just had their first baby (my very first niece/nephew EVER), my best friend of the past 2 decades is also expecting, getting ready for my other best friend's wedding coming up this spring. It truly has been an amazing last few months for me.

It's nice this time around to think that the reason I'm not posting over here is because things are GOOD and not horrifically bad lmao. But nonetheless, I do miss this space. If you've been around for a while, you know that storytelling truly is my first love, and The Sims 4 has been a phenomenal vehicle for telling those stories through a visual medium. I just have come to the harsh realization that my aspirations for how actively I can do this have been super optimistic and that's led me to dread the process of making "content." I want my stories to be more than something I post because I feel I "have" to - I want to do it earnestly and with joy.

That being said, I will still be working on the Love Island Challenge, but you will for sure see me continue to post it sporadically, when I feel the urge to actually do it lol. In the meantime, I do have something new that I want to post here that's been sitting in my mind for over a year, and that I feel very drawn towards doing. I hope y'all will stick around for that when it drops!

If you all want to keep up with what I'm doing when I'm not here on Simblr, I have been trying out something new over on Twitch. I recently joined the GTA RP scene and have been streaming my escapes over there. If you feel like popping in to see what misadventures I've been getting into, follow me here on Twitch, and follow my YouTube channel for vods, and episodes (once I get to editing and posting them). I'm also planning on streaming The Sims 4 over there - TODAY actually. I've decided to try my first ever legacy challenge over there, and in true alignment with my own chaotic energy, I've chosen to do The Random Legacy Challenge. Come thru today around 8:30PM EST if you want to hang out and watch me play!

[echobx]

saw this ask game and decided to answer all so you guys can get to know me better

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

it depends. I usually have my multi-chapterdd fics already done before posting them, so in my head they are stored as one shots. I know, weird. anyway...

I think oneshots are easier for me bc it's all fix and I don't get the urge to want to go back and change things. but I'm trying out the chaptered way with Timeloop and I can fix him (no really I can) and we'll see how I like it... but I'm only doing it like that bc idk how long they'll be and I wanted to post something and not wait months for them to be done before I post it all.

so maybe one-shots when it comes to [tumblr]

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I usually write as I go. I have a few points that I have to get to but I let it flow, let the characters choose their path to make it feel more natural when things go down.

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

I usually have something in my head that needs to happen and then I sit down when I feel like I'll be able to write it and just try.

I don't always look for playlists but sometimes it helps to listen to my sex playlist for smut or my falling in love playlist for slowburns or something.

I mostly just let inspiration hit me ig, idk how to explain it 😭

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

songs, tv shows, movies, other written work (books or stuff I read on here) my dreams... anything really. a lot of times it's just daydreaming.

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

yes, I love it, I get way too little of it.

as long as you are being respectful please tell me off lol, especially when it comes to grammar and sentence structures bc I'm not native in English and I'll be happy to learn and change things when you tell ne that something is wrong.

6. Do you have your work beta'd? How important is this to your process?

I tried beta-ing one of my fics with my friends, but life gets in the way and they didn't have much time to read and give me feedback, so I decided to not do it for whole fics anymore and just sporadically

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

ig that fully depends on how the scene feels to me. I once got halfway in a chapter and had to rewrite the whole thing bc I realized it didn't make much sense to tell it from that pov and not the other. and now it feels so much more natural than before. but that is just as much trial and error at times as everything else.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

i don't really have a preference there. for some fics I can very clearly see the middle, but not the end or beginning, for others I see the start and end but not the in between and it gets a bit messy on the way. but all in all I'd say I'm just happy to be allowed to be there as these stories play in my head and that I get to write them down is even better.

9. Do you comment on stories you read?

yes, usually on ao3 on tumblr if I like it enough I'll reblog it, if I love it I reblog with comments or tags, that depends on my daily mood tho.

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

“What?” I cleared my throat and blinked a few times to get my mind cleared up.

aaaaah I love the scene this is from, also had to used blinked cause I usually write in past tense unless it's tumblr...

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Safety Net by @mvybanks

The Blue by @quin-ns

Watch and Learn by @nadvs

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

a good feedback makes my day, literally

not getting any or getting barely any likes and no reblogs on my work, especially when it's something I've worked hard on, it's devastating really. I wish there was more appreciation for it, but I can't do much about it either.

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

writer's block isn't really an issue to me anymore. when I have time to write but my mind blocks I'll just start writing anything and when it's shit I put it to the side and write something else or if I'm working on a chapter and it won't flow I go into a new document and try and write the chapter again from scratch and see how it goes. always in a new doc tho when I do that so I don't use anything I've written.

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

okay, I write them, especially sad ones, when I myself am already sad af so I can exactly describe the bodily bs that happens to me when I'm sad

I do feel how they feel, especially when I later go to edit it, and then I have to take a break bc I'll start crying again lol

I mostly draw from personal experience when it gets to emotions, especially sad ones, bc it's just easier ig. it's waaay easier for me to write angst and hurt/comfort than anything else bc most of my life has been filled with those rather than fluff or even smut (idk how I write that, bc there's no experience there...)

15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

I try my best to keep it visually accurate, like, so you can try and imagine it bc I hate when I read something and go "wait, how did they end up here?" yk? and I think it should have some sort of realism to it. but I can't really be 100% accurate bc I only know my own body and whatever I've seen online. I don't trust porn obvs bc it's not really reliable when it comes to normal sizes and shit (iykwim) but it does help with figuring out some of the positions. that's literally the only reason I look at it too, for research purposes 💀

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

2 that are being posted (timeloop and icfhnric)

15 that are just ideas (listen, my head never stands still)

1 that is like my heart child, and I'm scared to let it go but I will eventually

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

a complete lack of inspiration hasn't really happened to me yet, and I'm scared of the day it will. what I do have issues with is the type of writers block where I wanna write but my head feels too overwhelmed or too tired to process any thoughts so I'll see the fic in my head but my brain won't let me form sentences to put it on the screen. I've yet to figure out how to deal with that.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

song inspired ones are always named after the song, so that's easy

anything else is either a good line that I discovered while writing or a quick quip that I came up with, most times during the end of it.

I still don't have proper titles for my Lovebirds fic, I have one for the second installment of it, but the other three are still only under their working title and I don't know if I'll even give the first one a title or if it'll just be "Before Lovebirds" which is bs and I hate it but idk what else to name it... (although that part has been done for months now)

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

smut... lol I haven't used any funny tags yet

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I use "just" way too much. and I keep starting sentences with And a lot. and I feel like once I find a bew word I'll keep using it until my brain grows bored of it.

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

definitely, if they wanted to.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I don't think I'm a dark romance girlie. I'm never gonna write mlm smut, because I just don't think it's my place to do that.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

use placeholders for words you can't pinpoint, I usually go like this [walking slowly, dragging feet] and then I look up a synonym

when you get an idea, put it down, you'll think you're gonna remember later but you won't

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

to put chapter contents down in a pointed list instead of writing it out immediately

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

the It's... complicated one bc I worked hard on it and it's probably my best work yet imo

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

my three part series the one with the abortion, notes and letter

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

most favorite: describing angsty feelings

least: chit-chat bc I'm bad at it irl and idk how to write it to seem natural 😭

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

idk, some days I write so much and others I don't at all, so maybe 500-800 days on average daily

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

first I do grammar checks, then I reread and see if the words are correct. most times I do the big parts of editing while writing bc I noticed that that's easier for me

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

I usually wait until it's polished, unless it's something I would have deleted from a bigger fic and don't want it to go to waste.

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

plot, always.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

from the top of my head: @princessmaybank @redhead1180 @mvybanks

33. Do you want to be published some day?

yes. but not my fanfic. I'd rather write something by myself and then get it published than go and write fanfic and change it later on to be able to publish it.

34. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

finishing my first novel and maybe finding a publisher for it

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

that they don't need to be redeemable, I'd much rather keep some villains for true evil and not because they had a bad childhood or whatever

36. How do you write kissing scenes?

I try to write about how it affects the person who's pov it is, their emotions and physical sensations. I don't like dragging it out too much tho unless it's a big moment, like a first kiss.

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter?

I tend to do cliffhangers quite a lot bc I'm just prone to that bc of my love of television. but usually I end on a moment that feels like a natural stop while writing or sometimes I write without chapters in mind and when I add them later I make stops in between where it feels like the reading flow could stop and be picked up, but then I make sure that the chapters aren't too short or too long still

38. Would you ever write commissions?

oh definitely, I already take prompts and idk if it counts but I did write two private commissions for a friend in return for some art of my favorite character a scribble of my oc

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

“I don't want you to feel any pressure to do anything,” he brushed a few hair from my face and I nodded. “You're my dream girl, [redacted].” He pulled me closer into him, nuzzling his head into my neck and breathing lower. “My pretty girl.” I placed a kiss on his head and listened to his shallow breaths as I fell asleep. “Love you too,” I whispered while drifting off and hoping that he hadn't actually heard me.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I have a very specific scene in my head, but it not in the fic, it's only mentioned as a picture that they took and have set as their background picture. so to see that come to life would be incredible.

but I don't really have a preference other than that, when I write I see it all play out in my head like a movie scene so literally any moment can work as long as I described it well enough. and if needed I would go and give a lengthy description of every single detail if someone wabted me to

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I reread a lot! it's part of how I try and get better at my work (apart from reading published books)

I especially reread a lot of my lovebirds fic so I can get back into writing when I haven't had worked on it in a while

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

The Charter by @blueicequeen19 and I'd tell the whole world to read it because it's just that good

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

I whump too much tbh. like, especially my OC has had so much pain already in her life, but I feel like a few set backs are normal and it wouldn't feel natural to me if everything was just happy and perfect akl the time. to me these characters are people and people are messy by default.

I'm still very protective of them tho, and I wouldn't let any body go and fuck them other unless it has a purpose of some kind, either for the bad guy or them.

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

I keep writing my when I mean me and vice versa, that's just a typing issue tho. I forgot prepositions and "the"s a lot. idk how to do comma shit. and I keep catching myself writing bearly instead of barely. bc they sound the same and I'm also dyslexic 😔

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

both if I can. but a part of me wants to know that I'm capable of making someone cry their eyes out. that feels pretty powerful to me bc I don't really cry too much when I read or watch something myself.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

emotions primarily ig, then characters. ig those two are very neatly intertwined bc most of the decisions they make are based on emotions or on the fact that they try to not let their emotions control them.

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

at least two times. even when I say it's not edited, I at least read it twice to get most mistakes out.

48. What do you look for in a beta?

that they are native English speaker probably, but I don't really do betas at the moment

49. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I've never gotten one and if I would I'd probably just block the person and try to forget about it.

50. How long is your longest fic?

not posted and still working on it: around 500k

posted one shot: 19k

posted series: 16k

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

38.4k on ao3 / 100k+ on tumblr

52. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I respond to most comments but I always feel a bit awkward bc I never know what to say

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

primarily I write, I'd say 65/35 writing to reading ratio of the time I use on fanfic

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

being able to put the vision that I have in my head on screen, being allowed to use as much or as little details as I wish to. but most of all the fact that I know more about the whole narrative than the characters in it, the fact that I know when they are being unreliable or are lying to themselves or just don't know better.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

I'm definitely a JJ girlie, I'll always be even tho I noticed that people are more into Rafe...

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

a friend of mine keeps asking how the fuck I write so much and I honestly don't know. I just do. and I personally always feel like anything below 2k is not enough but I don't try to drag things out too much just to get more words in. so maybe that's it.

57. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?

while writing for sure because it just makes the whole process faster than if I did it the other way round. but it took some time for me to get to the point where my in-writing editing makes the post-writing editing almost obsolete

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

writing for the most part. but I also love researching stuff.

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

only my friends. I wouldn't tell my parents and I'm glad they don't understand English bc if they did and found this blog I wouldn't be allowed to leave the house forever or they'd kick me out. which is ridiculous bc I'm an adult :'(

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

yeah and it was the best feeling ever. makes me happy just thinking about it.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

simply because I love writing and I choose to write for myself, not for anyone else. that's also why some prompts stay in my inbox for longer, because I need to find the right moment where I am content with writing it in a way that makes me feel happy about what I created.

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

love love love. can't get enough of them. use them all the time.

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

personally, I have mommy and daddy issues, so seeing it being sexualized is always weird to me. but I try to look past it and even when I write it bc it fits the character, it's still weird to me. but I would never tell anyone to not write it. I know a lot of ppl enjoy it a lot. it's just not my personal piece of cake.

another thing, which is just formatting ig, is when there's no warnings list. I think it's important to put at least a warnings list, especially for smut.

64. Something you love to see in smut.

aftercare. always. Even if it's just a quick scene of them lying in bed or something and just being soft with each other or talking about random things to cool down. I think it's really important.

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

right now I'm looking extremely heavily towards kinktober and starting on those projects and then seeing people read them in October.

I'm also super hyped over my oc lore bc I recently had a big breakthrough with the help of a friend, and now everything I had before makes so much more sense. it feels like I had always had known but the information was hidden and now I have it and I can see a crystal clear picture of her life and the life of her parents and grandparents and basically the whole family past and possible future.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I hate it. I'm trying to not let it get to me, I can only write when my brain let's me. But I do know that no matter how long it takes I will finish started projects.

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

I don't mind either. I love when it's a prompt or challenge that gives me creative freedom. like just a sentence or a single word prompt with a character is top notch bc I can go crazy on it all I want.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I listen to music mostly, sometimes tiktoks inspire me too. It's really anything that can give me inspiration.

69. What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

the ghostface one. I don't even know why I posted it, but I'm not gonna delete it bc I think it's important for ppl to see the progress you made over time.

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

depends on the person. if it's my friends who I hold near and dear I'm not really embarrassed at all. I sometimes talk too much about writing and think I annoy them with it, but they always say it's okay so I guess I should believe them.

I think it's needs some type of connection and mutual respect for me to even be able to talk about it, so I wouldn't really talk to someone who I think would nake me feel embarrassed.

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I only put down dates, the rest is more or less stored in my brain. unless I write lore down somewhere for someone to read and give me feedback. then I take that and put it in a separate lore doc but I wouldn't really need to bc, like I said, mostly my brain will remember lore

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

when I started writing I did chronological, then I started to jump in between but that caused a lot of fuck ups and I couldn't remember what happened where, so I decided to rewrite my whole fic chronologically before posting it.

for prompts or just stuff that I post on here I always do linear/chronological if the narrative let's me

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I don't really know. I guess I use a few phrases and words more than others would, and sometimes my sentences sound very german bc that's my native tongue. but those don't show up to me as mistakes when editing bc to my brain the sentences structure makes sense. that's probably all, but I don't really know.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

maybe if they are familiar with my writing style, with the way I use certain words only in certain situations. or how I nickname some of the characters.

[gaycey-sketchit]

For the character ask game; 5, 12, 21, 22 and 25 for Tracey!

Thank you!!! (Also nice URL!! Makes me think of heart shaped snickerdoodles, which sound lovely.)

What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

First thought is the first song on my playlist for him--Home by Cavetown. It's a song about being neurodivergent and transgender, which he is, and also the song's final lines being "time is / slowly / tracing his face / but strangely he feels at home in this place" is just so perfect.

What's a headcanon you have for this character?

He loves to dabble in a lot of art forms besides drawing!! Some he takes to easily--his nimble fingers make him a natural at the piano--but others take... considerably more practice. Gary teaching him how to dance (<- link to my fic about this) is a little rockier at first, and I think they both sustain a few injuries in the process of him getting the hang of it.

If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Answered here!

If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Tracey is mostly a very mild-mannered and gentle person but those sporadic moments where he forgets tact or gets really angry and goes off are so great, and I love when fic writers capture that side of his character too!!

What I don't love is mostly the homophobic, fatphobic, and ableist bashfic of the early 2000s, but thankfully people aren't usually like that in the open now (at least not as much). I am very accepting of differences in character interpretations if you're not just being mean, so the main problem I have with how Tracey is handled in recent fic is just. Please don't tag him if he's only mentioned in a single line, because I will get excited to see a new fic in his tag and then I will be sad.

What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I wish I could remember! I was very small when I first saw Orange Islands, and then I went a long time without seeing it. He was sort of There in my mind but my memories were pretty hazy, I remembered him mostly as just being a nice chill guy. I adored him instantly on my 2020 Orange Islands rewatch though, and by the end he had a hold on my heart. And now here we are!! And I love and appreciate him even more because he got me a boyfriend. Thanks Tracey for my life, love, and happiness.

[clown-around-and-find-out]

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Hello! My name is Clarice. I am 18 years old, use she/her pronouns, and am autistic with a special interest of sharks.

Here is my extended info page!!!

If you don't want to go through ALLLLL the trouble to read such a LONG, DRAWN-OUT, HORRIBLY DESIGNED StrawPage, then my extended info is below the cut!

My interests include: SHARKS!, Spongebob, Robots (2005 movie), Seinfeld, taekwondo, Gravity Falls, Wreck-it Ralph, Undertale/Deltarune, FNAF, rollercoasters, Pokemon, Hazbin Hotel, Phineas & Ferb, Genshin Impact, 70s/80s music, 80s/90s comedy movies, Sanrio, and Care Bears!!

Some information you may need to know before following me: I am a low-empathy autistic, I find it very difficult to understand how others feel (however, I DO try my best). I have trouble processing and understanding emotions. My activity on this site is sporadic, I may disappear frequently. I would appreciate the use of tone tags (mostly /j, /srs, /sar and /gen).

My DNFI! (Yes, I understand a "Do Not Follow If" doesn't really stop people from following, but I figure I'll put it here just in case). Do not follow if... you are just generally a bigot (obviously), you are proship/profic (IDC if you're neutral, I'd just rather not talk about it), post excessively about self harm or eating disorders, you are constantly involved in drama, hate sharks or support sharkfinning.

[citrus-cactus]

fanfic ask game! 1, 3, 22, 55, 77!

Ask game is here!

1). Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I tend to daydream a lot! I think that's a large part of my "outline" process these days: sooooo much thinking before committing anything to paper (which is not the best process, I'll admit! Because sometimes I end up forgetting things ;_;)

It used to be that a lot of my fanfic ideas were born out of pencil and paper sketches while letting my mind wander, which feels similar to the "daydream" process (and then I would brainstorm while drawing!)... but these days I don't do a lot of freeform drawing (;_;) and the brainstorming takes place almost exclusively in my head. Sometimes I'll have snippets and dialogue occur to me that need documentation NOW, so that feels more like a "when the idea strikes" sort of thing... and then when I've collected enough snippets/dialogue and have enough of a general idea where the fic is going to go, that's when I start writing in earnest!

3). Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I tend to keep them to myself. I've been... trying to get better about this... maybe?? That was what last year's fic/WIP summary and the creative check-ins and some of my random, sporadic posts over the past few months have (partially) been about. But now that I look at them... I'm not sure it's clear to anyone but myself what the heck I'm working on?? I would like to get better at this, perhaps?? Summaries are good (lol), but I usually save those for last!

I think, because I publish fics so infrequently (and have WAY more abandoned ideas and WIPs than actual published works!), I default to being pretty secretive about my ideas. Mostly because I don't want to jinx myself with the inability to finish something; if no one knows about it but me, no one can be disappointed!! But also, since I almost exclusively write short one-shots, the element of surprise feels, somehow, important to preserve up until the moment of publishing. I'm not sure how to balance the two wolves inside me ("excited to share" and "SECRETS!!")

22). Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Usually during. A lot of my titles seem to crystalize during the daydream/brainstorming process... though again, sometimes I don't want to reveal the title until the fic is further along, in case I end up changing my mind! Sometimes it does take me a little longer to figure it out, but not often. I guess how I come up with them is... I figure out the theme of the story, and think of a way to make it work as a title? ("Rose-Tinted" is my favorite recent example. Because yes, it's about a pair of pink-colored sunglasses, but ultimately it's about looking at a situation through a more optimistic lens!)

Sometimes I'll try to be clever and make the title a literary reference. I've repurposed lines from Sherlock Holmes, Brigadoon (the musical), and, most recently, Sophocles' Antigone. Because whoa boy, do I love themes. And allusions!!!! And parallels!!!!!!

55). Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

What an interesting question! I think, as generic of an answer as this is, my stories all end up being about love. This takes many forms: romantic (this used to be a huge theme, at least earlier on in my fanfic career!), but also platonic, the "soulmate" bond between human and digimon partners, and also (sometimes) unhealthy expressions of love. Also they can be born from things I personally love, like hats and in-jokes for very small audiences :3

My published fics tend to be either fairly fluffy(/goofy/jokey), or a bit dark. There's very little "neutral" up in here, though I do enjoy writing Emotions(tm).

I do enjoy ending a fic on a good stinger. I love me a juicy... just a teeny-tiny surprise, subversion, twist, or echo, wrapping it all up with an impactful little... pop. Absolutely delightful when it feels like I can pull that off. I live for that.

77). Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

I enjoy writing fiction because sometimes I have ideas that feel too large or complex to convey in a single illustration or a short comic. I enjoy writing fanfiction because other people's characters, stories, and ideas have become lodged in my brain and I am (occasionally) compelled to work through my feelings about them in prose XD I love writing (and reading!) things that are having a dialogue with canon, filling in nebulous details, expanding on characterization, having a fun day out with my faves, or otherwise taking some dumb/brilliant/random idea (either mine or someone else's) and running with it to a logical conclusion (by some definition of the word "logical"). My favorite thing to do as both a creator and a fan, whether in art or writing, has always been to tell stories… and I genuinely don't know where I’d be if I wasn't able to do that!

These were fun to think about, thanks for the asks!!!

[gamerkats]

Writers...are you feeling hopeless, sad and miserable?

Wonderful!! Now is the perfect time to write! (If you can.)

(Also, this isn't advice, because gamerkats doesn't give advice.)

Most people often write when they feel happy or "in the mood", but bad mood writing is some of the best! It's so hard to capture that feeling of hopelessness when you don't feel it. It's like trying to describe an apple when you're not eating it. It can be done, but never as good as the experience while in the experience.

Picking up a pen and writing out what hurts, why it hurts, how it hurts, capturing those feelings in the moment are like taking a snapshot. One that can always be referenced later when trying to pour the essence of pain into a scene.

Maybe it comes out as a poem. Or perhaps a mechanical breakdown of the intricacies of emotions and feelings. Even a journal entry of how one got to this dark point. It doesn't matter. But writing anything, letting the mind go blank and unforced, just being in the moment and sporadically writing from the screaming void will always be incredible work.

Yes, sometimes writing helps process emotions, sometimes you accidentally feel better after, sometimes you even have a journalism piece. One that encapsulates a moment in history, that future people will read and gain an understanding for you and your current circumstances/events. All very powerful, very important reasons to give it try.

But mostly, writing out the bad gives you lightning in a bottle. You'll have real, raw, honest, non-manufactured emotion/feeling.

Undoubtedly, in future, you'll write a character who is feeling as you are right now, and you'll have everything you need to breathe such life into that moment, such truth, that it transcends the page and makes readers cry. It makes them feel. It brings them into that moment to relate and scream, "Don't give up! I've been there! Gods, how I've been there! This character is me!"

Whatever darkness you're in right now, there will be an end. There will be a light. It will pass over you, leaving a shaken torn shell with tear dampened wings ready to dry. But you're more than a vessel for sunny days and cozy tea. For feet kicking giggles, and page flipping fluff.

You, my dear, are a Writer.

A storyteller. A weaver of dreams and spinner of folklore. A painter of smiles, a blacksmith of thinking, a conjurer of inspiration.

As writers, no matter how foolish or foolhardy our words, we hunt experience like a starving beast. We capture humanity in our hands and voice, and show it to the world in all its wondrous, beautiful, ugly, vicious form. We are photographers; carefully picking and choosing our captured stories in our little dark rooms.

So Write!

Write bad. Write angry. Write spite. Write through vision blurred by tears, and bodies wracked in frustration. Write, because one day, this pain will be but a thin cloud on a distant horizon, so surrounded by color and love it blends seamlessly into forgotten. And this written moment you captured will become a trophy on your Wall of Survival; to bring out whenever you need a character to really, truly, painfully, honestly, deeply win.

[eruden-writes]

Strictly Pleasure - Part 21 PREVIEW

Part 1 - Master List - Part 20

Summary: An awkward fresh-out-of-a-relationship woman and an orc that owns a sex store enter an adult theater together. She, intent on pushing her own boundaries. He, just looking to give her some sense of safety. Well, that and he wouldn’t complain about having a bit of fun himself.

After they inevitably get interrupted, Jek deals with the problem while Heidi flees. Resigned, he believes he’ll never see her again.

Thus begins Jek and Heidi’s sporadic interactions until, eventually, they find themselves fumbling around each other daily at the very place it started: Strictly Pleasure.

---

“How is this possible?” Heidi paced back and forth in Jek’s office, where the two of them decided to adjourn for more privacy. The anxious energy and confusion had her trembling. Striding back and forth made her feel less like falling apart at the seams.

At his desk, Jek sat with his glasses on his face, staring at the paperwork. It all seemed accurate and legitimate. Not that he doubted Heidi, but mistakes happened even in the medical industry. His eyes followed Heidi as she made a lap, guilt needling in his guts. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

She paused her nervous pacing to turn to him and he winced. Her arms flung wide, her words breathless with her heart racing as if she were running, “We never even met back then!”  

He winced at her wail, self-consciousness coloring his confusion. She didn’t mean it like that, he told himself. She wasn’t ashamed of him. Just confused. Hells, he was confused.

Something flickered over Heidi’s thoughts, her eyebrows furrowing. Jek was a rock star. A highly popular rock star with an active career, at one point. He had concerts all over the place, so he had to travel. Could they have… An ache pulsed through her head and she wrenched her eyes shut.

Lowering herself into a seat across from Jek, she had to accept the evident truth. She rubbed her temple, trying to coax the headache – or migraine – from fully forming. “We did meet at some point. Malachai is evidence of that.”

Jek turned his gaze back to his desk, his own mind a whirl of befuddlement. He couldn’t imagine meeting Heidi in the past. She seemed like someone he would have snagged on right away, dragged her close. Of course, that was his assessment after knowing single-mom-for-thirteen-years Heidi. How she was before, or how he was, could have been totally different.

“I can get a list of the dates and locations of my shows,” he offered, his throat feeling thick and fuzzy. His brain felt much like his throat, fuzzy and thick. It was hard to think, hard to remember. There were years he often avoided thinking about, mostly due to his own foolishness and Ruby’s biting words. Even now, with Heidi looking at him with glassy eyes, he struggled to bring those memories to the surface.

“Do you even need to do that?” Heidi turned her gaze on him, agitation barbing her words. Her hands fisted in her lap as she fought back tears. Something she was doing a lot lately, it seemed. “If we did meet, if we’d had… a night together, wouldn’t you have remembered? Why wouldn’t you say something!”

Jek’s lips pressed tightly together, feeling the vibrations of a fight on the air. Heat twanged between the two of them and, in such a small room, his heart pounded with where it could lead. To a bigger fight, sure. Or to something more lurid. Something that would mirror what they were discussing.

“Wouldn’t you remember?” Try as he might, there was still a small accusation in his soft tone. Despite the more pleasant thoughts scraping at the back of his head, uncertainty pierced through his chest.

His retort was meant with Heidi leaning back, blinking rapidly. Her mouth opened, closed. Her eyebrows furrowed as she processed his words.

---

Read the chapter in full on Patreon!

[junewild]

as a living history interpreter who also makes their own historical 'fits and obsesses over the accuracy... please elaborate on your tags on that post

oh hello fellow living history interpreter!! You've activated my trap card (asked about the overlap of many special interests) and I am going to find out if tumblr has a word limit the old-fashioned way!

I did interp very actively for about a decade as a youth & then more sporadically in the, uh, decade since then. Mostly 1820s–1930s. I have a to-die-for late '20s outfit sitting in my closet right now. (I did not make it. but I do have a project to make one like it, and it will only cost $450 and a couple hundred hours of work!) I worked in the costume department at my history site for some eighteen years, on and off, and so I've made a loooot of costume pieces, but only about two full period costume outfits. I don't have pictures of either of them, but here's a picture of me and my sister in an outfit that the department head made for me custom! (I would die for her. it's her fault that I got a master's in public history!)

I haven't made historically correct garb since last year, but some dear friends of mine had a wedding in February where the theme was "Medieval" (read: Ren-faire) and I... kinda... lost my mind about it, tbh?

Now: I did not create a historically accurate 16th century women's peasant outfit, although that was my first idea. (I'm sorry. I'm working on one right now tho) I decided to lean more Faire than SCA, since that's the background the Lich is from (he's actually getting into the circuit again this year!). I had about two months and a fairly small budget, so I started with a few yards of muslin and linen in blue and white (winter wedding! :)) I was originally going to refurbish a pretty yellow-cream-colored costume overbust corset into a more period corset, so the colors would all look good together.

I decided to go patternless for a couple of reasons. 1. no easy access to printer. 2. I hate myself. 3. my dear head costumer is the kind of person who can look at you and then make you a piece of clothing and it fits you like butter, and I want to be her someday. 4. I hate myself. So I looked at a lot of pictures of historical garb and faire garb and drew a lot of sketches and screamed into a pillow a lot and then started cutting things out and pinning them.

Pictured: (very short) pin test for a chemise, done in muslin so I don't fuck up any of the expensive linen / the pin test but it's sewed now (and bad) (also I ditched the corset refurbishment and bought a French Meadows corset for my Christmas present because I've always wanted one. the only thing I didn't make. but it's only a matter of time. I have a lot of boning bookmarked.)

Having learned a bunch of lessons about what doesn't work, I then made the actual linen chemise. And then a petticoat (not pictured). And then a skirt. All hand-sewn, all based on nothing except for looking at pictures and taking my measurements over and over again. (AUGH.)

Then I got about halfway through sewing a cloak and went... okay, I don't want to wear a white chemise to a wedding (feels rude) and white and blue are not even my usual color palette, even though they look really pretty with this corset. And then I looked at the calendar, which said that the wedding was happening in two (2) weeks. And then I bought linen in black and red. And while I waited for it to arrive, I finished the cloak and made a muff and embroidered a tie-on pocket. And when the linen arrived, I repeated the process really fast.

Pictured: first finished skirt fitting, 2 days before leaving for the wedding. Not pictured: the internal screaming and despair. If you look carefully, you can see that I figured out a MUCH smarter way to do the neckline/sleeves/waist on the black chemise than I had thought to do on the white one. I can actually raise my arms!!

Worth it.

And I wore the blue-and-white outfit to Faire this month, where it worked very well as a lighter and cooler version!

Neither of these are particularly good, tbh! I made a lot of dumb mistakes and figured out some much better things I could have done in hindsight! But for baby's very first patternless historical-ish outfits, made with nobody holding my hand or even giving me advice, I'm okay with them. I learned a hell of a lot and had a hell of a time and looked hella good at the end of it all. Sew it goes.

[shingekinomyfeelings]

This is gonna be a lot longer than the others, so bear with me

Okay, you might be thinking 'there is nothing particularly interesting or pretty about this picture,' but that is actually part of the point I want to make.

My major is wildlife bio, and my minor is conservation, but while I've always LIKED plants, my focus has always been animals. In fact, I kind of suck at keeping plants alive, even the easiest ones. I basically have a black thumb, so I haven't bothered delving much into gardening until very recently. Earlier this year, I started on a small-scale eco restoration project on my parents' property, mostly targeting the layers of landscape cloth, degraded and eroded soil, and noxious invasives. In the process I've been learning way more about the plant life endemic to this mountain.

While I was doing a survey of the plants on the property to see, for curiosities sake, how many of the woodland flowers were non-native - of over a dozen wildflowers growing in the yard, only two were NOT introduced. How sad. Virginia has so many beautiful wildflowers.

There are very few wildflowers in the woodlands at all, though. That's something I'd obviously been aware of for years, but I started wondering then, is it because of the degraded soil? In fact, the biodiversity seemed incredibly low. Is it because of the destruction of most of the old-growth forest on this mountain? Is there a way to help?

So, I started looking into the history of the Brush Mountain Wilderness area to see what plants used to be here. It turns out that this mountain is covered largely by a particular ecosystem community type: the Oak-heath forest. And guess what? Biodiversity is naturally comparatively quite low in Oak-heath forests.

Like the name implies, these forests are dominated by Oaks in the upper story, and in the middle and lower story are the Heaths - the mid layer of rhododendrons, azaleas, and especially in our Oak-heath subtype, the mountain laurel; the lowest story is the Vaccinium (blueberry) species and huckleberry.

There's very little on the floor level. It's mostly leaf litter and moss, with sporadic acid-tolerant forbes like galax, false Solomon's seal, and if you look hard enough, little flowers like bellwort and native orchids.

What I thought was a problem related to all the human disruption that continues even now with the Mountain Valley Pipeline being cut through our neighborhood was... actually the forest continuing to do what it's supposed to do, in spite of the damage we've dealt.

We have a horrible tendency to value only ecosystem types that are interesting or aesthetically pleasing, don't we? Like, even people like me who want to protect all our natural ecosystems. A lot of the time it's because we literally don't understand what we're looking at. I wasn't in tune with the plant life at all because I thought I was just bad with plants and had put my focus elsewhere. I wouldn't say I'm GOOD with plants yet, but I'm learning. It's helped me understand how to improve the actually badly degraded parts of the property, too.

The Oak-heath forests have suffered a lot from human development, imported pests and disease, and the colossal (human generated) white tailed deer population. Also, as you can see, when fall hits, these areas look kind of, well, ugly. People destroy them to plant 'prettier' ornamentals that have no wildlife value, because of the anthropocentric notion that all of this is here for us. But the Oak-heath has tremendous importance to many animal species, including bears, birds, and pollinators. When the Vaccinium produce fruit in the summer, the areas become a valuable food resource. It might not be the most visually appealing, but it's something that needs conservation.

There are some plants that are missing, though. The Box huckleberry once grew in huge colonies here, but that species has been decimated across its native range, and only a few known wild colonies exist today. I've found a native plant nursery that sells Box huckleberry plants, and I'm hoping to plant a few in the spring. I know I probably can't start a long-term colony of them, but I'd like to bring back just a little bit of what humans have taken out.

So, I encourage anyone who wants to help our native plant communities to start by identifying what type of community you're looking at, and dig into the history of that location, so that you can help in the way the ecosystem wants you to, not just the way you want to.