#my problem is people saying she's so weak or she's being too selfish or that it doesn't make sense for a mother to lose the will to live

[galactic-rhea]

Wow you guys won't even let padmé take matters on her own death because it's too selfish because she's a mother and of course she needs to live only for the kids, how dare she die, wow the woman has kids and she's still too sad to keep going wowwowow

Her death could've been written better like almost everything in sw but i honestly think story-wise it works better than 'and then she spend the rest few years of her life depressed and sad in alderaan' it's anticlimatic and frankly that's even more of a disservice to her character, and frankly sadder because it prolongates her suffering but whatever that's not even my point! My point is that padmé chosing to die instead of 'chosing to go on bc she's a mum and all mums are like that' goes against this hyper idealized and flanderized idea of mothers's inmaculate self-sacrificed perfection that give everything for the kids, just let padmé be human goddamnit.

The amounts of stress she went through these last few months, then weeks, AND THEN DAYS?? You have an idea??? No, I actually hope none of us have an idea of that like damn, I just feel so bad for her, it was hell. Her husband choked her, while pregnant, after he murdered hundreds of people, in literal Hell Planet. And then gives birth, and we can assume it was a stress-induced birth because having been choked, and then she dies out of the extreme amount of sadness and loses the will to live, she dies at the exact moment 'anakin' completely dies and full-Vader surges and that actually is meant to show you how the survival of one was key for the other, but that's not motherly enough, that's not what a cool brave strong woman would do, that's not what tiktok-feminism is! Because it's stupid and weak!

The fact that after having to re-take over her own palace, after so many many many assesination attempts since age 14, a literal war, and having been force-choked by Anakin on a planet with toxic air, and giving natural birth, the thing that really killed her was her choice because her heart got broken is actually meaningful for the fairytale-like story, and people are just stuck on how dare she die while having kids, that's so selfish and cold and uncaring, she would be a terrible mother. Ahhhhhhhh, I'm going insane.

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 5

Masterlist - Part 1, Part 4, Part 6

Warning, I guess? Like I said last part, my AU has death and voilence. This one also has frisky(?) moment, no full NSFW

You aren't quite sure how long you have been sitting on this bench. The cats you were watching have already grown tired and were lazing around. The smoke smell was still faintly in the air and the sky was the same blue as before.

Couldn't have been more than 10 minutes then.

You should get up and leave. But to go back to the main area is to back into the fray. And you really didn't want to do that. With a heavy heart, you got up and stretched.

A loud crash and bang from around the corner startled you. You peer curiously in the direction and a pained groan is all you can hear. You walk over and see opened crates on the floor with fireworks rolling out of them.

Carefully you step around the fireworks to get to the heart of the problem. Yoimiya was on the floor with crates scattered around and a bell near her. The usually peppy blonde was clutching her head with a pained expression.

"Did you just get hit by that bell?" You say with a smile. You struggle not to laugh as you hold your hand out to her.

"Unfortunately, I did. Ugh, that really hurts." She takes your hand and slightly jolts from the electricity that your skin brings. You notice her action but don't put much thought into it, you pull her up.

"If we don't pick up all your fireworks fast, we'll probably lose some." Yoimiya smiles brightly completely forgetting her lost battle with the bell.

"You would help me? That's great to hear, I'd be looking all over Inazuma City for them without you!"

You start picking them up with her as you leisurely talked with her. Truthfully you offered more for yourself, as selfish as it sounds you just wanted a distraction.

The nearly mind-numbing or annoying task, depending on how far they rolled was easier with the chatty woman. Yoimiya knew how to talk to people, truly an extrovert with great social skills.

"That should be all of the fireworks. At least none of the boxes broke." You close the last crate and wipe the sweat from your brow.

"All thanks to you. I wasn't expecting anyone to be around since the ritual was in session. It should be finishing up though." She has an excited smile as she speaks and picks on two crates at a time.

Eager to change the subject you grab the last box and are about to pick it up. "No wonder you dropped it, carrying three crates would be too much-ugh. Damn, how much do these things weigh?"

You hurriedly position the crate in your arms to a more comfortable position as your grip tightens. You weren't weak but these things were absurdly heavy. You glance at her holding two of these monsters. She's not fazed in the slightest by the weight.

"The weight isn't too much of a problem, but the size was my oversight. I couldn't see while holding all 3 boxes and hit that bell. Thank you for carrying that one. Just follow me, we aren't too far from the drop-off location."

You inwardly sigh at now being stuck with the weight. But... You glance at the Yae Publishing House. Better than being stuck with Yae. You follow Yoimiya as you get closer and closer to the main area.

"Have you heard the rumors?"

"What rumors?"

"About there being an oracle! Really, it's only spread among the kids. They keep telling me that an oni, his name is Itto, keeps telling them about how he met the creator's oracle."

So, it's already starting. At least it's staying between the children right now, by the time Yae hears about it and connects the dots you'll be gone.

"Maybe it's true. You'll need to meet that oracle for yourself to be sure." You shrug and bump her shoulder. Playfully she bumps you back.

"I would love to meet them! Believing in fantastical things is a lot of fun. And if it turns out that they're a fake then I'll light them ablaze." You were suddenly reminded of Itto by how she spoke such vicious words with a bright smile.

"What if they prove that they are an oracle? What would you do then?"

"Ask if there is anything I can do to be awakened! I traveled to Sumeru with the traveler, and it was the closest thing to being awakened. Awakened acolytes can see all sorts of sights and stories."

The sparkle in her eyes was full of joy, no doubt imagining what it would be like for her wish to come true. The thought of your very low primogem count made you want to cry. 'Sorry Yoimiya, I don't think anyone is getting pulled at this time.'

Arriving back at the ritual area you can see the dead bodies being moved away and the blood being cleaned. You doubt they'd be able to clean up all the ashes today.

"Such a shame I missed out on it. But I would rather supply my fireworks for the finale festival than watch in a sweaty crowd."

To think that everyone here has grown numb to sight... Do people become less than cattle once they are dubbed a sacrifice? You follow Yoimiya around the slowly dispersing crowd to the back.

Ayaka is giving orders until she spots you both. Quickly she comes over with a smile.

"I'm relieved to see that you were with Yoimiya. Thank you for watching over the oracle in our absence."

"Wait-What?! They're the oracle?" Yoimiya comically looks between you and Ayaka's smiling faces.

"You just let me talk about the oracle while not telling me you're the oracle?" You finally laugh at that. Setting the crate down, you sigh in relief and speak.

"It was entertaining, I promise I was planning to tell you before we split paths."

"I'm torn between being embarrassed and happy. At least you know my wish now." She deflates as she holds the crates with a pout. It's gone as quick as it came and she's back with a sunny smile.

"Well, then Ayaka please lead the way for me to put these fireworks away. I can't wait for the final ritual to see them light up the sky."

"You just saw them last week, you're insatiable for fireworks. Y/N, I'll meet up with Ayato, Thoma, and you in a little bit."

Ayaka smiles softly and beckons Yoimiya to follow her. Yoimiya smiles cheerfully and waves enthusicastically before hauling all 3 boxes. Does archery really make your arms that strong?

"Y/N!" A shout of your name and hard armor meets your back as you're hugged from behind. It was just a quick hug before you spin around.

"Gorou, all done with that soldier?" He smiles widely showing off his fangs. He's holding your arms with his gloved hands as his tail wags.

"Yeah, sorry about having to leave so suddenly. Are you feeling better now? You don't look as bad as before."

"I'm feeling a lot better now. I didn't worry you too much right?"

"I mean, I can't deny that I was worried but you're all better now so that's all that matters. Remember if you need to talk about it, you can always come to me. I'd prefer it that way."

His whisper is low, and you strain to catch it. But he smiles with a blush and it's enough to dissuade you. He's helped you a lot, you didn't want to be too nosy. He's also one of the few that hasn't used you for information about the creator too. It doesn't bother you but it's nice feeling like he hangs out with you because he finds your company nice.

"It's been some time since I've seen General Gorou this happy. Are you a friend of his?"

Motherfucker- How in the world did you manage to run into Kokomi fucking Sangonomiya!?

You hadn't accounted for her appearance since she's usually on Watatsumi Island. She's way too good, like facing a kinder, fishier Yae. Hell, she managed to beat Yae in TCG and find the card snatcher in that event. This wasn't Ei but meeting Yae and Kokomi on the same day has got to be bullshit.

While you were internally dying Gorou took the initiative to introduce you to Kokomi with a happy grin.

"This is Y/N, they're an oracle for the creator. They even have the Kamisato Clan's approval."

"That is quite impressive, allow me to introduce myself first. My name is Sangonomiya Kokomi, I'm the divine priestess of Watatsumi Island."

"It's an honor to meet you Sangononomiya? Sanganonomiya? Sanganomiya?" Your voice gradually lowers as you butcher her name. Honestly, you were just hoping she would dislike you and leave. You did not want to have another Yae-level battle.

Purple glossy eyes watch you struggle with her name in amusement. You even managed to confuse yourself on how to pronounce her name. She can't help but laugh bringing a gloved hand to her mouth.

"You must not be a native Inazuman. You can just call me Kokomi, as an oracle and Gorou's friend I can trust that you're a good person."

Gorou beams at his superior's approval and his expectant stare on you makes you feel even more trapped. So much for getting her to dislike you.

"Thank you for your generosity, Kokomi. I've heard here and there how good of a leader you are. Both in and outside of combat. Your citizens seem to adore you a lot."

At least you don't have to pronounce Sangonomiya anymore. She takes a step closer and peers at you. She's good but not impossible.

"Thank you but I believe you aren't that different from me."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean. Gorou holds your hand with a confused face. Was he always this touchy-feely in the game? You can't remember well with Kokomi staring dead into your eyes.

"I'm the divine priestess for Orobaxi, a god that Watatsumi Island worships despite being deceased. And you are an oracle for the creator. All living beings in Teyvat worship the creator, our jobs may have more similarities than you think."

"Are you saying this because as an oracle I am a communicator between the creator and the people? While as divine priestess you carry out the will of Orobaxi to protect your people?"

She smiles knowingly making her eyes squint a bit. "Precisely. Wouldn't you benefit more from staying on Watatsumi Island? Maybe not permanently but you could learn a lot from staying with us."

Wait what? Does she think that you came here to help Narukami Island? Not a bad guess since you do have the Kamisato's approval. Is she trying to poach you?

"This isn't well known but I'm on a mission for the creator. I can't share all the details, but it involves me moving around Teyvat a lot. I already have transportation to Liyue all prepared. Thank you for the offer but I'll have to decline."

Gorou and Kokomi both have disappointed expressions with Gorou's being far more dramatic. Or maybe that was his dropping ears and tail exaggerating his look.

"I understand, the creator must come first. If the tides ever lead you back to Inazuma, please come and visit Watatsumi Island."

As adapting as water, she moves past her rejection and smiles softly holding out her hand. You grab it and shake her hand until you feel a familiar feeling. The feeling of eyes watching you and ears listening to you strikes you.

You release her hand and Gorou speaks to her about something. You can't focus on what they are saying as the feeling leaves you chills.

It must be Yae.

Now that you think about it, isn't it weird how Gorou and Kokomi are in plain sight with no Yae? Her rival, punching bag, and an easy victim are all in one group, surely, she would not hesitate to come over. Unless she's with Ei.

Jumping to conclusions, you are definitely jumping to conclusions. Forcing yourself to breathe easily, you smile casually as you can finally hear what Kokomi and Gorou are saying.

"Your Excellency, I've already moved that emergency shipment to the boat. We can wait for you to finish meeting with the Electro Archon."

"You should go on ahead without me. Whatever she has called me for doesn't sound like a minor problem."

"Even so, leaving you in enem-" Kokomi's look makes Gorou shut his mouth and backtrack.

"Right, right. Sorry, force of habit. But I would still feel more comfortable waiting till you are done, your Excellency."

"Okay, I understand your concern. Please wait in Inazuma City until I'm done." Gorou smiles at Kokomi's acceptance.

"So, you'll be staying a while longer? It's a shame you didn't come a day earlier. I'm leaving for Liyue today after all." You join in when you get a chance. The last thing you want is for Yae to notice how aware you are of her presence.

Kokomo opens her mouth to speak when yells of your name can be heard across the plaza. You all turn to see Thoma waving to grab your attention while Ayaka and Ayato calmly stand and stare at you. Or are they staring at Gorou and Kokomi?

You give a wave back to let them know you saw them. Turning back with a small and slightly sad smile you hide your joy at a perfect escape option.

"And that is my transportation calling me. It's been lovely meeting you Kokomi despite the short amount of time we spent together. And Gorou, you were the highlight of this festival, I'll be sure to seek you out next time I come."

Gorou seems to swoon at your words while Kokomi smiles at your words and holds both your hands. Her stare is unnervingly deep into your eyes. Fisheyes in the game and in real life are much different up close.

"You are quite the fascinating person. Whenever you do come back, Watatsumi Island is more than happy to greet you with open arms."

Your smile is gentle matching hers despite how you're secretly sweating bullets. She releases your hands, and you see Gorou smiling at Thoma who is clearly glaring at him.

Unlike humans, animals bare their teeth to threaten. That little tidbit of information comes to mind when you see that Gorou's grin is a little ferocious. It all goes away once he sees you looking at him.

"Y/N, whenever you come back, make sure to visit Watatsumi Island twice as much time as you spent here. I can show you even more stuff than what I showed you here."

"I will Gorou." You promise before petting his head. You weren't sure when you would get to pet someone like this again so you wanted to take advantage of it while you still can. Gorou seems to like it as much as you do. His eyes close and his tail wags a little as he angles himself deeper into your touch.

When you pull your hand off, he pouts a bit but waves to you as you walk to the Kamisato's. You carefully peek back to see Kokomi say something teasing to Gorou that makes him embarrassed.

Yae conveniently turns the corner at that exact moment and scares Gorou. Seems like you dodged a bullet at poor Gorou's expense. But it also raises a question. Did Yae intentionally wait for you to leave to join the group? If so, is it because she feels bad or because she doesn't want you hearing what she has to say?

Deciding to leave it be you turn back to the Kamisato's as you approach them. Once you're in reach Thoma sweeps you into his arms and hugs you.

"What a warm welcome. Missed me that much Thoma?" You say with a smile as Thoma sets you down.

"Well, I have to! You're leaving today, I have to make the most of it." He smiles a little embarrassed as he avoids your eyes.

"Totally not because I pet Gorou?"

"Totally."

Ayato covers his mouth with his sleeve and coughs with a not very subtle "Liar" in between. Ayaka swats his arm with her fan and Thoma playfully glares at Ayato.

You snicker at the familiar sight of them fighting and almost trip over a firework stick. Your near tumble makes them all pay instant attention to you. Ayato and Thoma are quick to put a hand on your shoulders to steady you as Ayaka picks it up.

"It's a few are still missing. I'll have to send a servant to put it with the others later."

"Damn, sorry Ayaka I thought Yoimiya and I got them all. Will you have enough for the final ritual this month?"

"Oh yes more than enough. We always order extra just in case something like this happens. It's a shame you won't be here to see the final ritual." She looks to the ground sadly as she finishes.

"Ayaka is right, it truly is a shame. The final ritual is the cumulative of everyone's efforts and the fireworks look beautiful at night. I mean you could always stay until then. The Kamisato Estate is always open to you."

Ayato speaks with a purposefully convincing tone. What is up with people trying to convince you to stay? First Kokomi and now Ayato? Without thinking too deeply you reply.

"The journey from Liyue to Inazuma is pretty long and unpredictable. And there's no way I can freeload on you guys for some fireworks. Next time I come over I'll stay longer to attend it. Besides I can use the teleport waypoints."

The second you say that is the moment you regret it. Great going, now you'll be forced back to Inazuma in less than a month!

Too busy insulting yourself for your own stupidity you don't see how Ayaka and Thoma light up. Eagerly she writes down the date and time of the final ritual before placing it in your palm.

"Oh, that's perfect Y/N! Now you can continue being an oracle the way you wished and make it in time for the festival."

Ayato seems far too calm and smug for this whole thing to just be your own mistake. There's no doubt Ayato was waiting for you to mention teleporting yourself. Probably in case there was some prerequisite. Which you definitely would have made up if he mentioned it first. No one else to blame except yourself.

"Thanks, Ayaka, I'll do my best to attend." You slip the paper into your bag and smile warmly. You can't out right reject it now but maybe later on you can make some sort of excuse to avoid attending. Either way you have time and if you do have to attend...

Then your luck and lies going your way will let you have a firm standing as an oracle that won't allow Ei to suspect you that easily.

Maybe you're better off faking your death and living with the Aranaras. As the creator you should have some sort of influence on creatures. Hopefully...

"So, since the ritual is done and the festival is coming to an end, I should be on my way to Ritou. What boat am I taking?"

"That eager to leave Y/N? I would have thought you would at least let me bring up the topic seeing as we housed you all this time." Ayato's eyes are narrowed as he looks at you. His hand is covering his face and his voice sounds annoyed.

"I would never want to overstay my welcome in your estate. How could I take advantage of your kindness anymore then I already have? Besides wouldn't kind hosts like yourself avoid making your guests unwelcome by bringing up the topic of leaving. I'm simply doing you a favor."

You speak with a mocking kind voice and bring out the fan he gave you to cover your mouth. His annoyed voice melts away as he laughs softly at your actions. You crack a smile too until he tips your fan forward to reveal your face.

"This fan will be your ticket to the boat. As promised, I selected the best boat, the Crux will treat you kindly when you board the Alcor. Captain Beidou is said to be one of the best captains and a crew member by the name Kaedehara Kazuha was once a loyal subordinate of the Kamisato's."

That was actually pretty cool. Beidou is said to have defeated a hydra in her character entry. Plus, Kazuha was a really popular character. You were fond of them both and thinking of meeting them with no worry of dying sounded amazing.

At least until you remembered how the Crux was known for 'daring' adventures meaning batshit dangerous sailing. They could all survive it because they either have a vision or training. But you? You weren't a fighter, nor did you have any powers. It's that stupid dilemma about what to do when you inventible encounter enemies again!

"Thanks Ayato, the creator seems to trust them both a lot too. To get to Ritou I'll need to pass Byakko Plain and Konda village. And that little shore area with loads of monsters."

Ayato pauses when you mention monsters. He didn't forget that you can't fight right? You look to Ayaka and she's avoiding your gaze. You turn a little more urgently to Thoma just for him to smile nervously.

"You all forgot that I don't have any guards, fighting skills and powers, didn't you?"

"It's not that we forgot when we were making preparations Y/N. Originally, I was going to accompany you but the Shogun suddenly announced a meeting this morning that will be starting in an hour. Ayato and I will be forced to attend leaving Thoma the only one to take care of the estate in our absence."

You feel a bit more frantic. Maybe if it was daylight, you'd just take the risk but nighttime? You have no intention of dying to a hilichurl or any other monsters, humans included.

"Can't a guard come with me then?"

"It seems that's our only choice. The guards are necessary for the festival due to the large number of people. And the amount only heightens at night but it's a risk we'll have to take. Your safety is priority, you'll need two guards at least"

You feel a bit guilty knowing that you'll be putting the public in danger. But the chance of someone dying without two guards is much lower than the chance of you dying without a guard. It's not a bad thing to have survival instincts, you tell yourself to ease the guilt.

"Wouldn't a better idea be for me to accompany them instead?" Someone butts into the conversation (rude) with a horrifically familiar voice.

Clips of the scene "Traveler, you're so dreamy~" echo throughout your mind as you remember his first birthday art posted on Reddit during a crisis that only caused more chaos.

Heizou walks with confidence to your group smiling innocently. Like he wasn't just eavesdropping on everything. You want to scream.

Who fucking cursed you?! You managed to run into everybody you wanted to avoid! Except Ei but you were starting to doubt that you'll be able to avoid her too.

Thoma throws Heizou a suspicious glance before standing next to you protectively. You wish Thoma was able to protect you from whatever Heizou's intuition is telling him about you. There's a large chance he heard you be referred to as an oracle.

Ayato and Ayaka keep their composure as Heizou stops in front of them who are standing in front of you. Seems like they all don't want him close to you. Is it because he's part of the Tenryou Commission?

"My, what's the caution about? I'm an upstanding member of the Tenryou Commission. With a vision too! I prefer not to fight but I am good at it." His voice was even more melodious in person. If only it wasn't hiding the absolute trap, you know he has behind his back.

"Considering that you were eavesdropping on our conversation for a while, I truly doubt your words. You always abandon or delegate your work to other people too. Can I really trust that with Y/N's safety?"

Ayato's words are as sharp as his stare. His eyes are similar to the depths of the ocean waiting to pull their victims into the freezing water. It really reminded you of when you first met him. Your relationship with him has improved in bounds and leaps.

"Now, now no need to be so hostile. I'm under Madam Kujou Sara this time. She was worried about the oracle and asked me to check up on them. I am the only other vision holder that's awakened in the Tenryou Commission. I can promise you that they'll make it to Ritou, they'll probably be boarding the Crux, correct?"

Heizou, to his credit, is good under Ayato's pressure. Probably from dealing with Sara all the time. Thoma clearly doesn't trust Heizou, Ayaka is seemingly neutral on the matter and Ayato is weirdly against Heizou.

"Were you not listening early enough to be sure what boat Y/N is going on?"

How didn't you notice Heizou listening? You were able to spot Yae right away, yet you missed him?

"The oracle is clearly an important person as they are directly connected to the creator. Only the Crux could provide a level of safety fit for them."

You saw Yae first, so you were always on guard for her. Did you unknowingly relax around the Kamisato's therefore preventing you from noticing Heizou?

"All it took was a quick deduction. I'm a detective for a reason." Heizou ends with a smile. Ayato though less tense hasn't let up his stare. The tension is killing you, but you can't afford to stay any longer.

Heizou only offered to figure out the mystery behind you and his intuition probably had a hand in it too. Going with him does mean dealing with whatever questions he throws at you, but it seems to be your only choice. You can't risk staying any longer and running into Ei.

You move away from Thoma's side and place a hand on Ayato's shoulder. You smile trying to lessen Ayato's suspicion.

"He doesn't seem to be a bad choice at all. Going with him means I'll be safe and so will everyone else. Like he said, he's an awakened acolyte with a vision. Sara wouldn't send him unless she was truly okay with it. She's very cautious concerning these things after all."

Ayato looks down at you with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction. If it was up to him, he would accompany you himself. Better yet he would keep you in Inazuma. He knows Ayaka and Thoma would be more than happy with that too.

But the longer he looks at you the more he knows that what he wants just isn't going to happen or work. The nervous smile you send him makes his heart flutter. With a sigh he nods.

"If that's what you wish Y/N then Shikanoin can escort you to the boat." And if his subordinate that is already stationed there reports back that you never boarded the boat then he knows exactly who to blame.

You smile feeling relieved that you won't have to worry about dying on the journey. Looking to Heizou you feel that relief turn to exhaustion as you imagine what the conversation during the journey will be like.

"You're Shikanoin Heizou correct? I'm Y/N, an oracle for the creator. Although I don't appreciate you eavesdropping, I am thankful that you'll be escorting me."

You walk forward and hold out your hand to shake his. Heizou looks at the two Kamisato's and honorary Kamisato behind you who are giving him varying levels of glares. Flashing a smug smile to them he shakes your hand.

"Don't mention it Y/N. You can just call me Heizou, we'll be spending a lot of time together on this trip after all."

You can tell he's saying that more to rile up the Kamisatos, but you tactfully ignore it and release his hand. Time to play damage control! Fun.

You turn around to face them with a grin. You were honestly going to miss them, a lot more than you originally thought.

"I can't thank you three enough for helping me out like this. Whenever I visit Inazuma again, the first stop will be the estate. Probably when the final ritual is occurring. If there's anything I can do for you, let me know, okay?"

They all gave you their own version of goodbye.

"I'll be eagerly awaiting your next visit." A sad but happy face hiding behind a fan.

"Come whenever, I'll make you more good food!" An excited and slightly melancholic expression.

"Don't sound so sappy, you make it sound like you'll die." A gentle look that alludes to the longing hiding behind it.

You can't help but feel a sense of dread rise up. As if the next time you see them won't be as happy as you think it'll be.

But that's the future. The future can always be changed. You shouldn't get so hung up and worried about something that is so far away.

To ease your worries and the sorrow you feel at having to leave, you wave to them with a bright smile. You follow Heizou who already began walking to Inazuma City's exit.

He isn't speaking, just quietly leading you through the city. You don't bother trying to break the quiet like you did with Ayato. You don't need Heizou's attention anymore then you probably have.

Your eyes trail over Heizou as you follow him. You try not to stare at his exposed sides but judging by the smile he gives you... He definitely noticed. Slu-

"Are all oracles supposed to be as perverted as you?"

"What do you mean by perverted? If you take my glances at you as perversion, then you're the perverted one. Aren't you cold?"

"It's not that bad. I'm sure you're at least a little warmer with that mask on." Here comes the questions.

"It's broken, any heat I could retained is lost through the cracks."

"Then why wear it? Surely the Kamisato's would gladly fund you more masks. So, what's so special about that mask? Why even wear it?"

Unlike Yae who was only interested in toying with you, Heizou is looking to solve the mystery. Plus, you had him which means he must feel the pull you give off as the creator. What's the point of being the creator if it only leads you to more problems?

Like it or not you're stuck in this situation and his intuition is like an otherworldly sense. Staying silent might lead him to arrest you, you can't risk missing the boat. So, you'll need to lead him around, a plan that just might work due to his own pride.

"Well why can't I? My mask isn't hurting anyone. Is your instinct as a detective telling you that my mask is important?"

"My intuition you mean. You're smart enough to get the Kamisato's trust and Madam Kujou Sara's trust. And I have a hunch that, that mask is connected to your oracle status."

"Doubting me huh? Well, you can't arrest me for wearing a mask or just looking shady so let's make this journey fun." You say with a smile as you both pass farms and the huge tree at the edge of the city.

"What are you proposing?"

"I guess you could call it a game. Your intuition seems sharp enough to pick up on any bullshit I spew. Ask me any questions and I'll give you cryptic answers. Maybe I'm lying, telling the truth, deflecting or a mix of them all. A test of both of our skills. If you can figure out why I'm hiding my face, then I'll tell you everything."

You actually mean it. Mostly because Heizou wouldn't believe you if you aren't being honest. If he can actually wait and listen to everything, then maybe he won't immediately attack you.

You know it's a stupid chance, but you can't risk being here any longer. You want to stop feeling scared of thunderous skies and lighting chasing your every move.

Heizou is quiet as he watches you while thinking. Should he accept this? His intuition won't stop nagging him to find the truth behind you. What does he really have to lose playing with you like this? With a smile he finally responds.

"Alright, let's see if you can keep the truth hidden as well as you think you can. Is that mask special?"

"Not really, I only took it because it was broken."

"Why would you take a broken mask?"

"The price of course, well the lack of price I mean." You only fibbed a little there. You have to test how well he can pick up on lies.

He hums in acknowledgement. It's clear he doesn't fully believe it. The game was right to dub him as a prodigy detective.

"That mask has the trademark of Mr. Sanden. He's a bit of a perfectionist, he doesn't sell any masks he isn't happy with. So how did you manage to get him to sell it to you?"

He's got home advantage too. But remembering Heizou's past made you recall his hatred for sin. You can't help but worry that he'll react violently if you admit your theft. That's what selective wording is good for!

"You got me. Sanden didn't want to sell it to me, but he eventually did let me leave with it. I'm thankful since the mask has served me well."

"Are you wearing that mask to deter certain people?" That little bait was a good deflection.

"Well, you could say so. Maybe I committed a crime that would be revealed with my mask off. Or I'm hiding an ugly scar behind it that I don't want people to see. It could be that I'm living a double life and this mask is the only difference between my lives."

You shrug and pass by the spot where you met the Arrataki Gang. Not for the first time you missed them. Sara included, at least you didn't need to think hard and fast on how to fool her.

"What do you think is the truth? Are they all true to a degree? Or are they all lies?"

Heizou hums and holds his chin looking like a true detective. You look a little closer to examine the moles beneath his eyes. It was pretty cool how he had matching ones. He snaps his fingers and points at you with mirth.

"Sounds more like two lies and a truth. Or maybe half-truth would be a better description. That double life choice seems to be on the right track."

He wasn't wrong, but the answer was much farther than a double life. You spot the teleport waypoint that you activated after defeating those treasure hoarders and nobushi. Are the materials you collected from them still bloody?

"Believe what you will. I don't necessarily need to confirm whether you got the correct answer."

"Getting a little defensive aren't you. Seems like I should ask you a little more about this topic. Where were you born?"

"I actually don't know." It's true, you had no clue what hospital or city you were born in.

"Then where did you arrive in Inazuma? Watatsumi or Ritou?"

"Neither I simply woke up on Seirai Island." You know he'll probably dig around for more information about this topic once you leave but you're okay with that. How will he tell which story on your appearance is true or false?

"I find it hard to believe that you don't remember anything beyond that."

"I don't have many memories before becoming the oracle. Realizing what I have to do ordered by the creator makes me believe that my past-"

Your rambling is cut off by the scoff he lets out.

"Man alive, no need to start preaching about the creator that I've personally experienced. I don't believe your words about the creator at all. And we got quite off topic, didn't we? Tell me, did the creator order you to wear that mask?"

What a question. Perfect time to test deflection.

"Would you stop asking me questions if I say that the creator did order me to wear it? Would you even believe me if I said that they did?"

"No."

"So, you're just asking to fuck with me?"

"Not necessarily, all these questions are just steppingstones to the truth."

"Fancy way to say that you'll ask me anything and everything."

"Glad to hear that you've already accepted your fate." This little shit.

You slow down your pace while passing by the temple. You feel a bit tempted to enter it to admire the murals. Heizou stops to watch you stare up at it in amazement. For an 'oracle' you seem mesmerized by the temple.

You jump a little as Heizou slings a arm around your shoulder and pulls you along the path again. Konda village is in sight and his breath is fanning over your ear.

"So, tell me Y/N, do you at least remember what region you were born in? Or at least lived in before becoming an oracle? Y/N isn't a very common name, in fact you're the first person I've met with that name."

"Well, I'm quite sure I wasn't born in Inazuma. I wouldn't call Seirai Island a home either." You nearly whisper as you stare straight into his eyes. You refused to be psyched out, not after all the other authorities you tricked on Earth.

He lets go of you and walks a little ahead of you. Frowning in confusion you speed up to match his pace. You barely catch the way his smile wavers a little and his hand toys with the baton on his hip. Was the previous proximity affecting Heizou too?

"What's wrong Heizou? For someone who I pegged as the teasing type you sure can't handle your own consequences."

Heizou smiles a littler wider contradicting how his eyebrows furrow. There's a large chance you're a criminal, something like that shouldn't have affected him so strongly. So why did you? Why did the heat of your body and smell of something sweet on you make him fumble like that?

"Speak for yourself, your heart was beating out of your chest."

"Even noticed my heartbeat huh? Sounds like you've got some sort of crush."

"You wish now stop trying to distract me. In fact, what about those writings on the temple walls made you so distracted."

"They were writing?" You questioned instinctively and immediately regretted it. The smile Heizou wears is victorious.

"Yes, it was. Do you know how to read?"

"No. Or at least not that well."

"Heh so that's a yes, just not in this language."

"Basically."

"Interesting and very believable. That writing was very old, but it was written in the universal language with Inazuma dialect. Meaning you should be able to at least recognize it as writing, but you didn't."

You're nervous but you calmly cross the stone bridge into Konda village. Heizou seems to want to ask something but the yells from parents interrupt him.

"Takeru! Takeru, you little rascal it's bedtime! Where are you?! Oh, where is he?" An older woman is calling out for Takeru who seems to be a child judging by the bedtime.

"Futaba! It's nighttime, it's not safe to be out this late! Futaba!" A much older woman with white hair is calling out too. You and Heizou pass by them a little concerned.

The sky is darkening but it's not pitch black just yet. Those children should probably still be out playing or something. Heizou hums and sweeps his eyes across the village.

"After I drop you off, I'll come back to make sure those kids came back fine."

"Is it normal for children to play without supervision?" The thought of kids playing outside when there are literal monsters around sounds unbelievable.

"It's quite common especially around villages like this where only elderly and children live. This is a farming village too so they're likely playing on the farm."

You nod and follow Heizou to leave the village by going under the flimsy looking gate. The sickle you picked up and put in your bag on whim still makes you uneasy. Your gut feeling made you pick it up and you aren't quite sure what to do with it now.

"I haven't forgotten about your slip up. So, either you lied about knowing how to read or you know how to read in a different language that has no roots in the universal language."

This guys just does not miss a beat. As you get closer to the beach area that leads to Ritou, you see a teleport waypoint. You couldn't activate the one in Inazuma City due to the crowd and Yae but this one could be used to your advantage.

You stop at the waypoint making Heizou look at you in confusion. You place a hand on the waypoint and relish in the new gold color it turns. Smugly you look to see Heizou staring at the waypoint with a shocked expression.

"Man alive, how did you-?"

He's cut off by a scream. It sounds like a young boy and you both look at each other in alert. Immediately Heizou turns and runs down the steps onto the shore with you following him.

The scream is joined by another scream sounding like a girl. You and Heizou follow it to the right and run past the waterfall and follow the dirt path. Blindly passing by a hilichurl camp you see a Fatui Hydrogunner and an Electrohammer.

You freeze up in fear as you watch a boy be slung over the Hydrogunner's shoulder and a girl try to crawl away from the Electrohammer. Heizou wastes no time to deliver an anemo infused punch to the Electrohammer giving the girl a chance to stand up.

You take a deep breath and move closer to hold the girl. She clings onto you in fear as she weeps loudly. You watch in a daze as Heizou continues dealing blows to the Electrohammer. At least until the Hydrogunner makes his move.

"Freeze or the boy drowns."

All three of you freeze as the Hydrogunner points to his gun to the boy's head. The Electrohammer hits Heizou straight in the chest with the war hammer knocking him back.

"Heizou!" You yell as you watch him hit the ground harshly. You yelp in pain when you're suddenly lifted up harshly by your neck. Struggling in his grasp uselessly until he squeezes your neck and throws you over his shoulder. The girl cowers and cries as she's yanked onto the other side.

Heizou stands up but stays in place as the Hydrogunner keeps the gun to the boy's head. You're about to wrap your hands around the Electrohammer's neck when he speaks.

"I wouldn't do that unless you want the boy to get blown to pieces."

You freeze before hanging limply over his shoulder. Everything is quiet save for the children's sobs. The Electrohammer starts walking farther from the city and the Hydrogunner does the same but slower.

You can only watch as Heizou's furious face gets smaller and smaller. They bring you and the kids to a camp close to Araumi. You land roughly on the floor with rope tied around you. A Anemoboxer who was waiting at their camp ties up the kids and drops them next to you. You give one last scathing glare before they close the tent flap.

Tense, you wait a few moments until you hear the muffled sounds of them talking. You turn back to look at the scared kids next to you.

"Hey, hey it's okay. We're going to get out of this, okay? Did you see that guy with me? He's a friend and he's really strong too. He's gonna get us out of here."

Their sobs slow down at your words and they look up at you. They have little scratches and scraps from trying to escape the Fatui.

"I want to go home, I wanna see Granny." "Are they going to take us?"

You shush them quietly to stop them from working themselves up into a crying fit.

"Me and my friend are going to make sure you get home safe. Why don't you both tell me your names? Mine is Y/N and my friend is called Heizou."

"I'm Takeru and she's Futaba." Takeru speaks with a waver as Futaba nods tearfully. They're still scared and the conversation between the Fatui is slowly turning into an argument.

"It's nice to meet you both, now I need you both to be brave and stay quiet for me." They both nod and you smile trying to offer some comfort. You couldn't let them take you and the kids' hostage again.

The ropes are tight around your torso and wrists, but they underestimated you. There is a pole in the middle of the tent with a wheel but it's the gear behind it that matters.

Carefully you move your legs until they are bent underneath you. You stand up and stumble a little to the gear. You can feel the sharp edges around the gear and smile.

At first you try to cut the large rope around your torso, but the rope is too thick and strong. You move your back higher against the pole so that the rope around your wrists is the one being cut.

Takeru and Futaba watch you in a mixture of fear and hope. You smile when you feel the rope give away and fall to the ground. With your hands free, you struggle a little to shimmy your bound arms to your front.

It's like wearing a really tight shirt with your arms still in it. Uncomfortable but not super painful. Once it's done you move to your bag that was thrown on the ground. Carefully you kneel and open it.

The game screen is deeper in the bag, and you shove your hand in to select the sickle you took from Konda village. When you pull your hand out it's weakly holding the sickle.

The kids smile as hope becomes clearer. The argument outside is getting louder. Yells of "this wasn't the plan!" and "we have to do it!" are making you increasingly worried.

Carefully you maneuver the sickle to cut the ropes without cutting your own shirt. The ropes break and you stretch your arms to get the blood flowing.

"Alright, I'm gonna get you both free but you have to stay quiet and listen to me or we'll get caught again."

They nod eagerly and you move behind them. You cut off the ropes and they stand up in a flash. But the loud sound of a punch cuts your victory short. Takeru and Futaba huddle closer to you in fear.

You smile kindly and hold out your free hand to them.

"Hold onto me, be prepared to make a run." They nod and grasp your arm as the sound of fighting gets louder. You walk closer to the tent flap and lift it to see the outside.

Heizou is fighting them all with a few wounds. The hit he took earlier must still be affecting him. This was not a good match up. Although the elemental shields aren't up yet, it wasn't an easy fight.

The Anemoboxer and the Hydrogunner are both healing and the Electrohammer is giving heavy electro blows. Not even mentioning the swirl that's happening. Once those shields come up, Heizou will have even more work to do.

The minute they have one of you hostage is when the fight is over. You can't let that happen. You can dodge but the kids can't. You eye the path and turn back to the kids.

"Listen carefully, you saw that dirt path they took us on? You need to follow it back to where me and Heizou found you. Just stay there and wait, okay? If anyone that you don't recognize starts coming. just hide."

You would rather them go straight back to Konda village, but you didn't want them at the mercy of the hilichurls either. They tremble but nod at your words.

You look out the flap sneakily and suck in a breath as the Anemoboxer starts heading towards the tent you all are at. Quickly you throw it open and drag the kids out with you.

The fighting freezes for a moment as the flap hits the Anemoboxer in the face and you push the kids in front of you. The Electrohammer and Hydrogunner look at you in surprise.

"Run!"

This springs the kids into action and Heizou delivers a charged up anemo punch to the Hydrogunner. Rain starts to fall, and the elemental shields were thrown up. The Anemoboxer has just doubled in your dangerous rating. The Anemoboxer reaches out for you making you jump back.

You just need to keep the Anemoboxer away from Heizou who's dealing with the other two Fatui Skirmishers. You keep dodging and running circles around him. You were mostly afraid of him using anemo to pull you in.

The fights weren't like watching it in the game. These guys bleed even while encased in the war machines. You hear the groan of the Hydrogunner passing out and smile crookedly. Was this fight finally going to be over soon?

The Anemoboxer leaves you to fight Heizou and you finally take a breather. Heizou doesn't stick to the Genshin game rules either. His catalyst follows him as he mixes up his normal attack pattern. Horrible timing but it's really cool watching him use anemo in creative ways that the game never showed.

The enemies seem to be in a rougher state. There's a three way stand off as they all stop to catch their breath. You see movement behind Heizou and feel your blood run cold.

"Heizou behind you!"

Heizou follows your words and just barely dodges the water blast from the Hydrogunner that was slowly getting back up. With one last fully charged kick to the head, the Hydrogunner falls down. The loud crack lets you know that he may never get up again.

The other two Fatui don't let the opportunity slip. With the Anemoboxer dragging Heizou closer, the Electrohammer slams the hammer down onto Heizou. You clench the sickle in your hand tighter as you can only watch in horror.

You stayed out of the fight for a reason, you couldn't fight you would only be in the way. But that's not an option anymore. Hearing his pained groans as he's punched by the Anemoboxer swirling the electro and rain spurs you into action.

While the Anemoboxer's back is turned you sneak up and raise the sickle. The spot in his back with no armor covering it seems to call to you. You slam the tip of the blade straight into it making him cry out.

You pull it out in a hurry and jump back as the wound bleeds more. The Electrohammer looks at you in surprise giving Heizou a long enough breather to get back up.

The Electrohammer and Heizou go straight back to combat as the Anemoboxer faces you. His huge gauntlets swing around trying to hit you as he coughs up blood. The ground is slippery, and it makes your dodging a little harder.

You jump closer to the boxer making him throw up his shield in reflex. Using the rain, you slide around him and slash his thigh to limit his speed.

The sickle's weight was clumsy at first but the more you traded blows using it, the more you came to master it. Gritting your teeth, you quickly stand back up after slipping from the wet ground.

Silently you urge Heizou to hurry up, you weren't sure how much more you could take. Your mask was starting to crumble but you pushed it to the back of your mind.

The boxer runs up to you in a flash not letting you back away fast enough. Reflexes are what save you from a punch to the face as you crouch and roll away. He's still bringing his fist back to defend himself giving you an opening.

You can tell something is different as you swing your sickle. Something about you is different that makes you wonder if you'll be able to finish the boxer once and for all.

Electro crackles around the sickle as you puncture his chest. The electro-charged reaction and wound seem to do the trick. The boxer stumbles and gasps for air.

You watch in horror and relief as the boxer falls onto the floor. You really killed again, and you used elemental to do so. You don't have a moment to stew on that though as you hurriedly dodge the now furious Electrohammer. The war hammer slams onto the ground and Heizou is quick to kick a projectile anemo shot to his face.

It knocks him to the ground, and you watch with unknown feelings as the mask he wears breaks. The fight is over, you and Heizou won. There's no time to wallow in self-pity, not as Heizou stumbles with a dazed expression.

You're quick to support him and he lays his bleeding head on you. You gently move his arm to wrap around you and do the same for him. His wounds aren't life threatening or serious, but he's been bleeding for a while. You need to stop the bleeding first.

Helping him gently you move him to lean against a small boulder. In a rush you go back to the tent and open your bag. You take out some of the leftover medical supplies you kept (stole) from the Kamisato Estate.

Slinging the bag back on you hurry to Heizou. The rain seems to be letting up as you examine him. His head is bleeding from a cut, so you bandage it first. His shirt is dyed red, and you lift it up and wince at the sight.

Multiple bruises and cuts cover his stomach and chest. That's gonna be a bitch to bandage, especially considering how much damage his back too.

"Sorry Heizou, this'll hurt." Heizou only weakly groans with his eyes screwed shut in pain.

Pushing the shirt as high as you can, you start wrapping it around him. Not the best solution but it's your only one with so little supplies. Heizou's consciousness seems to come and go as you finish and fix his shirt.

The thought of Heizou closing his eyes and falling asleep in such a state worries you. What if he passes out from blood loss and dies? Thoughts like that rise up and you grasp for anything to keep him awake.

"Hey Heizou, if you can respond to me in words. I'll tell you a big hint to my secret."

His eyes focus on you a little more. That's a good sign, nothing like baiting a detective like him with leads.

"Well, *cough* what hint are you *cough* going to give me?" His raspy voice and coughs worry you, but they seem to make him more awake.

"You were really close on me having a second life."

"That's it? That's a *cough* crappy hint."

You laugh at his remark trying to hide your relief. The fear of holding another cold body of someone you cared about still plagues you.

"If you want a better hint then you better drag it out of me as I drag you back to Konda village."

You support him as he chuckles at your words. He does his best to not lay too much weight on you but that's hard when his head is fuzzy.

The walk is quiet and with him so close you relish in the sound of his harsh breathing. It lets you know that he's still breathing, that you didn't fail.

You don't want to think about the person you just killed. So, your mind analyzes about the electro you wielded through the sickle instead. It makes a lot of sense that you can use the elements through a weapon as a medium. How could you have not realized that possibility?

If you continued training with it, could you eventually use electro without a weapon? Probably not but the idea of shooting electro is cool, nonetheless.

Takeru and Futaba are waiting nervously in the spot you instructed. You smile at the sight and wait till you are closer to call out.

"Futaba, Takeru! Over here!"

They smile at the sight of you both and run to meet you. Futaba frowns in worry at the sight of Heizou and you injured. Takeru tries to help by supporting his other side.

Heizou buries his head in the crook of your neck to hide the grimace of pain as Takeru touches the wounded area.

"Takeru, Futaba can you guys guide us to Konda village? It's an important job since we don't want to get ambushed by enemies."

Eyes wide they nod and walk a little ahead. They survey the surroundings seriously and nod at you firmly to show that it's safe.

Heizou keeps his head on your shoulder and mumbles. "Thanks, guess you're as perceptive as I thought."

You huff in amusement and continue supporting him until you all get to Konda village. The two women that were looking for the kids earlier spot you all and rush over.

They both hug their respective family members with tears in their eyes. It's clear that the kids aren't over the dangerous encounter.

"Thank you so much for saving Takeru and Futaba. You both seem very injured, please come to my house. I have some supplies that can help you both."

The village chief approaches you and Heizou with concern. You nod gratefully and help Heizou into the house. There's a small cot on the floor and Heizou lays down on it slowly.

Konda Densuke, the village chief comes back with a fully stocked medical kit. It's more primitive than the ones you are used to in Earth, but it'll work well enough.

"I'll leave you to it, once you're done, please come outside. I'll have something that can help that young man."

Quietly you thank the old man and turn back to Heizou as the door closes.

"I'm about to get pretty personal with your body, that's not a problem, right?"

"Why are you asking as if you weren't doing that earlier? Of course, it's fine, just don't be so obvious with your staring."

"If you weren't injured, I would hit you myself."

He chuckles and removes his cracked arm guards. You focus on taking out the bandages and ointment out of the kit. You leave briefly to wet a rag with water and come back to see Heizou shirtless sitting on the cot.

He smiles up at you seemingly more aware and alert. His bandages around his torso are stained red. Smaller cuts and scrapes cover his arms and legs. The bandage on his forehead is bleeding a lot less than before.

You kneel beside him and carefully remove the bandage on his head. Heizou bears the pain of you wiping away the dirt and applying the ointment well. The new patch is put on his head and your hands move lower to the bandages around his torso.

After unraveling it, you feel relieved that nothing has become inflamed or infected yet. The bruises on his back and front are tended to before you clean the cuts. You firmly wrap the new bandage around his torso. He only tenses up as you finish.

"This is only a temporary solution. Once we get to Ritou you should see a doctor."

"I will, I promise but I must say. This is some pretty good work, like you have experience doing this kind of thing. Care to tell me who you've helped before?"

He really is a nuisance. He was almost killed in a bad match up with three Fatui Skirmishers and his first instinct after properly waking up is to question you?

"Seriously? Not even a thank you? And my expertise comes from taking care of myself if you must know." Scowling with no real annoyance you put away the remaining supplies back into the med kit.

Heizou laughs at your reaction before placing a hand on your shoulder. He rests his head on the opposite shoulder and speaks softly. What is with this guy and leaning on you?

"You're right, thank you Y/N. Even with my suspicions, I'm still thankful that you helped me and those kids. I'm hoping that whatever secret you're hiding isn't one I'll ever have to arrest you for."

HIs bare bandaged chest against your back makes you embarrassed.

"Aren't you a bit too up close and personal with someone you're suspecting?" You say stiffly as he proceeds to melt even further into you.

"Getting shy?" He whispers teasingly. His face is dangerously close to your neck making you tense up further. You already knew that he was a flirt but isn't he moving too fast?!

Your face gets redder as his breath grazes your neck. People have tried to trick you in numerous ways before. That includes pretending to have fallen in love with you for information. Seduction never worked on you due to how untrusting you are.

But in Teyvat? Where the characters you found comfort in and loved? It was hard not to be affected or overthink things like this. While you were avoiding looking at him, Heizou took his time admiring you.

The flustered look on your face, your fingers drumming on your thigh. It was adorable how nervous you were. For a split second he remembered how comfortable you were around the Kamisato, how brightly you smiled. Did you get all flustered around them like this too?

A flash of jealousy engulfs him, and his body seems out of his control. His teeth lightly nip your neck making you stand up in a flash. Your voice is steady, but your heart is beating out of control.

"I'm going to see what the village chief had for you. Just stay here."

Watching you leave in a hurry makes him realize what he just did. Man alive, what the hell made him act like that? Despite the slight guilt from overstepping a boundary, he honestly didn't regret it. If he had a chance, he'd probably do it again.

When you come back in with two plates and a cup. Your face was back to normal, and your posture was relaxed.

"They were nice enough to make us some food and a drink to help with your blood loss. It's some citrus juice so make sure to drink it all."

Sitting down next to him, you pass him the cup and a plate. You eat the food and Heizou follows your lead. It's fine if you don't want to touch on what happened. Frankly he's still unsure why he's become so enamored by you as well. But at least he has a better grasp on you and your secret.

After eating everything you both return the dishes and thank the chief. The elderly women, Takeru, and Futaba all come out despite the dark sky. They thank you and Heizou asking if you need anything.

"Don't worry, I'm just glad no one got seriously hurt." Heizou tries to elbow you with playful intent, but you move out the way with a smile.

"Why don't you both stay the night? Those injuries must still be bothering you. We have extra room."

You only had some minor bruising compared to Heizou. The cuts and scrapes were no more than an itch to you. These kinds of injuries were normal to you on Earth. And you really couldn't afford to waste any more time.

"Thanks for the offer but we have to get to Ritou before the stars come out. Please stay safe."

You wave to them one last time before arriving back at the shore area.

"Seems like there's no more children being kidnapped, let's get across this area fast."

Heizou on the other hand seems content to just stroll along. Well, that wouldn't work for you, you could not miss the Crux. You stop letting Heizou walk a little ahead of you. He notices your absence and stops to look back at you in confusion.

You run past him and grab something from his side. You slow your sprint a little to face him as you raise your prize.

"If you want your jitte back then you'll have to catch me!" Spinning around you face Ritou's direction and continue running. You can hear Heizou kick sand as he chases after you.

He honestly could care less about his jitte. It's the sight of you smiling brightly as he tries to grab you that makes him continue chasing you. The wounds and injuries from the fight still ache but it's worth the pain. You're worth the pain.

You'll be leaving soon. You might be a fraud. Logic says that being so fixated on you so soon is dangerous and stupid. Yet his smile never leaves his face as he finally snatches his jitte out of your hand.

His intuition screams at him that you're so much more. That whatever you're hiding will bring him happiness of a lifetime. That you will bring him that happiness.

You stumble onto the stone pavement in Ritou as Heizou keeps his hand on your shoulder. You're both calming down from laughing at him nearly falling face first into the sand.

"How didn't you see that pile of crabs? Too distracted by me to focus?"

"What if I was? You can't tell since you nearly passed out from laughing at me."

"You can't blame me for that! I would pay good money to have seen you actually fall face first."

You walk past Ritou's town square as the docks and inspection tent get into view.

"Money huh? Is that the currency in your old world?"

You continue walking casually but there's no denying how you almost froze up.

"Is that the conclusion you've come to after all the questions?"

"My intuition tells me that I've barely scrapped the surface but I'm all out of leads. For now, my suspicion is that you come from another world similar to the traveler. Although I'm not sure if the creator ordered you to keep your identity secret. You do seem to be an oracle for them."

Psychology really was amazing. By getting Heizou so worked up about your mask, you managed to have him believe you to be an oracle. The minor fact of you not being from this world makes him feel accomplished in a sense. You let him figure out one secret to hide a bigger one.

"You really are a great detective. No one else has realized I'm not from this world but you. But that didn't answer my original question in the game. It seems like you lost Heizou, no secrets for you."

Stopping at the end of the stairs Heizou looks at you seriously.

"I really hate leaving mysteries unsolved."

"Then you'll just have to handle me being the mystery left unsolved."

"What if I just took your mask off right now? We both know I'd catch you even if you tried to run. Or better yet I could arrest you for any stupid reason just to take it off."

You can't stop the laughter that bubbles up inside you. You wipe the moisture from your eyes as your laughter turns to giggles. The main reason you were okay with traveling with Heizou despite his intense need to solve mysteries is because...

"That would utterly destroy your pride. I know that you dislike fighting, that the moment you're forced into combat while solving a mystery is when you feel like you lost. You take so much pride in becoming a detective that having to resort to force would be a low you'd never stoop down to reach."

He turns away with a relaxed stance. His head angled to the ground with a nostalgic smile.

"Guess you must have found out some of my private information through the creator. But you're right, I would never do that."

It's quiet as you two resume walking to the inspection tent. Ah crap, does the fan work as an ID for you too?

There's no line due to how late it is but there is a familiar person.

"Sara?"

She turns away from the inspector and looks at you with some confusion. The sight of Heizou next to you, so close to you, makes her frown.

"Y/N, a pleasure to see you again. I can only assume that you are leaving under the creator's orders but what are you doing with Shikanoin?"

"But didn't you ask him to check up on me?"

...That little shit.

Sara glares at Heizou as you mentally put the pieces together. Sara sees Heizou as someone irresponsible. There's a very low chance of her entrusting someone connected to the 'creator' like you to him. She would rather do it herself.

Ayato was right when he said that Heizou tends to skip or delegate regular Doushin duties to others. And that's because he has no interest in those jobs. Sara probably knows that full well and would rather avoid that outcome. Plus, Heizou even asked where you arrived on Inazuma even though you already told Sara that you woke up on Ritou.

"Shikanoin, that is not acceptable behavior for a Doushin. What explanation do you have for yourself?"

Sara's stern voice bounces off Heizou who is far too used to it. You didn't bother stepping in. Not only were you curious how he got to know all your previous information, but the sneaky bastard deserved it.

"Madam you really can't blame me for investigating on my own accord. Not only have there been some subtle rumors about a mysterious oracle, but you kept glancing at Y/N during the festival. As Y/N already knows, I listened in on their conversation with the Kamisato Clan for a bit before introducing myself."

"Even still, you know the proper procedures to investigate something. Now that you've already interrogated them, you should leave them be- What are those wounds?"

Sara's exasperated voice turns cold when she looks closer at you and notices the minor cuts on you.

"Were you attacked on the way here? Not only did the oracle get injured but you also investigated them in this state?"

Maybe you should step in now, Sara seems on the verge of throwing him in jail.

"It's fine Sara, some Fatui were trying to kidnap two children from Konda village, so we stepped in. Honestly Heizou did most of the fighting and is the real wounded one."

You smile and finish with an almost proud laugh. "It was impressive how Heizou had me fooled this entire time. I'm not mad at all so don't worry Sara. But thank you for being so worried."

You softly hold Sara's hands and give a grateful squeeze before pulling away. You step past her to talk to the inspector. This was gonna be a nightmare. You don't see the competitive glare Heizou and Sara give each other.

As you are denied exit permission due to your lack of identification, Sara and Heizou step in to help you at the same time. After a few minutes of Sara and Heizou vouching for you as third-party authorizers, you hand over the fan.

That seemed to be enough proof for them to hand you a stack of papers to fill out. You moved the monstrous number of papers to a crate. Paperwork that you had to touch to read before filling out, what a joy.

"I'll be leaving first. The Shogun requires my presence for an important meeting. Shikanoin, I expect you to be at headquarters to finish all the new paperwork you earned after pulling the stunt you did. And Y/N please stay safe on your journey, may the creator guide you."

"Thank you, Sara, good luck at the meeting! Oh, and please tell the Arrataki Gang goodbye for me too!"

Serious as always, she nods her head before leaving. Heizou moves to stand beside you as you start tracing the words to become readable.

"Why are you touching the letters? You didn't recognize or read the words on the temple so how does touching it help?"

"To put it simply I can read the words easier after I touch them. But shouldn't you be on your way too? Don't think I've forgotten how beat up you are. Go see a professional before every medical building closes!"

"Man alive, are you trying to get rid of me so soon? Why I thought we bonded so well over our time together."

You know he's just playing and teasing but the answer you give is sincere.

"I did, I had a lot of fun. Despite how annoying you were at times, I really enjoyed playing around with all the questions and answers. But I would rather suffer through all this paperwork alone then let you stay with me as hurt as you are. So do us both a favor and see a doctor."

His eyes widen for a split second before settling into something calmer and sweeter. Have you truly bonded with him enough for him to let such a pure expression show?

"Since you were so honest with me, I'll go now."

You smile gratefully and are about to voice your goodbye before he pulls you close to him. You stand in a stupor as his chest presses against yours. His whisper is low and earnest.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N. I eagerly await your next visit to Inazuma."

He releases you before walking away smoothly. Robotically you go back to the paperwork and fill it out. It's probably best to not take his words as anything deeper than friendly. Heizou has always been a flirty character, you were nothing special to him… right?

The stars are out by the time the paperwork is handed in and you have permission to leave. Not wanting to look at the identification card they gave you, you stuff it into your bag for later use.

The Alcor is huge, there is only one crew member awake on the deck and you climb the ramp to speak to him.

"Hello, my name is Y/N, this is the Alcor correct? Here is the fan I was told to show as my ticket." You give the fan to him as he stares at it tiredly.

"I never really expected someone to actually bring it at one point. You must be Lord Kamisato's guest of choice. Come in and enter the doors on the right. The voyage itself is 15 hours but taking into account other things, the trip will take a whole day. Go get some rest."

He gives you back the fan, and you nod in thanks. As you walk past him to the right side, a voice calls out to you from the docks. Curiously you go the railing and look down to see Yae there.

You frown in confusion at her appearance. She must have arrived after you put in the paperwork. Surely, she overhears what Heizou said. Even so, the sight of the sly kitsune makes you automatically stressed.

"Catch." Is your only warning before a small box is thrown towards you. Catching it swiftly, you open it to see a mask inside it. It's a gold accented fox mask specifically designed to only cover the top of your face. The shine and lack of marks make it clear how new and expensive it is.

"An apology for bringing up an uncomfortable subject to you in our conversation. The war has affected many people but it's those in your position that suffered in ways others have not. I hope that whenever you come back to Inazuma, you'll have a lighter heart."

You close the box and smile at her with gratitude. It's a perfect mask for that creeping feeling of dread. This is now the second mask you've obtained from stealing. This mask could have been something different for someone who actually suffered due to the war.

Silently you wave at Yae before she leaves without any other words. You watch her form disappear around a corner as whispers asking, "Where is Captain Beidou?" and "Did she drag Kazuha to drink with her again?" roll off you. You can deal with that later.

The walk to an empty room below the deck is a blur. Your few belongings are on the table as you lay on the bed. The Anemoboxer that you killed rises up in your mind like a tide.

They were kidnapping children, that should be enough justification for their death. You don't feel like arguing that point. You also don't feel like thinking on how you'll deal with any future Fatui members either.

Instead, you ponder about the sickle you used that was encased in electro. If you activate other Statues of the Seven, could you unlock other elements?

Those were the only thoughts you allowed yourself to think about as you gradually fell asleep.

Well this took a while. If anything I blame the fight scene and Heizou being flirty. I did use my decently built Heizou and fought that exact squad of Fatui. He defeated two before dying (it was raining) meaning the outcome of that fight isn't off. I'm experimenting with different yandere types and how the interact. I'm sure most people would write Thoma and Gorou acting nice and trying to one up each other by being kinder while keeping their rivarly secrect. But I thought it was funnier if they were outright hostile and were very bad at hiding it. In case anyone is wondering, I will not be writing full on smut. I'm not sure how far I'll take it in terms of stuff like making out but it'll probably never get past a kiss or two. Maybe I'll change my mind but never smut. I'm far too embarrassed for that.

I never realized just how many characters I had to write until I put the tags. I don't want to know how many words it is but it's 13k. Which is honestly pretty good, I was expecting like 15-16k. I'm very glad that I split the chapter. With Fontaine coming close and the trailer out, I'll probably spend more time playing to make up the primogems needed. Maybe more readers will join with the new hype or players will read less due to the new updates idk.

Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @sielt, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @conspicuous-mayonnaise, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifo, @sielt

[chowdersinterlude]

Teeth

Izuku Midoriya x Bakugou’s Sister!Reader

Contains: fluff, you and bakugou get into a argument, spice (just kissing and dry humping)

summary: Being bakugou’s sister means you have the attitude of him, but it’s kinda hard to when his rival is really cute.

Bakugou was always a selfish human being, always wanting to succeed

This trait and his nasty attitude all crashed down on his sister

Y/N

you take after him so much that some people are afraid, but Mina and the girls help you see the good in yourself, that you don't always have to follow his footsteps to be the best. Bringing us to today, Bakugou’s Sister Herself, having a crush on HIS rival.

—

“Oi y/n give me a sec” he turns to his red-head friend, fanning his hands at you signaling you to move but stay close

“Yeah yeah” you groan in annoyance scouting for your friends, but you get a person other than mina

“Y/N!" The voice shouted after you

"What?!" You say as you turn around, Izuku? Why him of all people? Just his appearance makes your cheeks tint a light pink but you manage to hide it

"I was wondering if-" before the boy could finish, Bakugou turned around.

"OI DEKU" Bakugou's raspy and mean voice decides to ruin the moment

"Move from my sister or else"

Izuku scratches the back of his head awkwardly and waves to you while walking away

"С-суа!"

You roll your eyes.

And as izuku leaves you snap, "KATSUKI WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM" you angrily tug on his ear

"WELL?? YOU AND HIM WERE TOO CLOSE! WE DON'T WANT TO BE HELD BACK?!”

"WE HAVE TO BE THE BEST! AND DEKU OF ALL PEOPLE?”

His ignorance makes you wanna slap him right then and there, how dare he talk about Izuku like that? Deku? What an asshole.

3 hours later

What bakugou said is still in your head, what does he have against him? What's his deal? He needs to change his attitu-

"Y/n! I've been looking for you" Izuku smiles

"Tch, what for?" You scoff and turn away to hide the blush spreading all over

"So! I was wondering? If you would like to train or study with me?" "Please?"

his voice whiny and needy

“Mhm! In my dorm!” this time he catches a glimpse of your face, cheeks and nose as red as ever

“A-are you alright? You look sick”

He cups your face

And that does it! Your dead

you: X_X

When you wake up, the only thing you see is evergreen curls on your stomach, just slightly snoring.

He’s so cute <3

“U-uhm.. deku?”

You limit your movements to lay his head on your lap

“O-oh hello y/n” you look up to see, all might?

The pruned man bows slightly

“I was here for young Midoriya, I was told he’s in recovery girls office”

A faint smirk on your face “nope,I was in here, he must’ve waited for me” you look down at the boy and begin to stroke his hair

“Ah, so Young Midoriya and you are involved romantically?” the man smiles

“What? N-NO!” Your face flushes red as you shout, ultimately waking up the freckled boy on your lap

“Y/n?”

“Izuku you idiot! You left all might worrying for you” you roll your eyes and push him off your lap

“I just wanted to stay with you” he pokes at your thigh

Ugh why did he have to be so cute? He knows what he’s doing, he’s messing with you.

“Whatever”

You get up and leave the room, then as you close the door izuku pulls you by the waist

“Just wait a minute alright? Wait outside here”

izuku leaves you stranded outside the door, when Izuku comes outside, his focus is immediately on you.

“Y/n, can you please just talk to me?” His emerald green eyes never leaving yours

Great. Eye contact. Your biggest weakness ,,

“Yeah yeah whatever” you try to pretend he’s a nuisance, (failing)

You were slowly losing self control until..

“Hi babes!” You could already tell it was Mina by the way her fluffy pink hair bounces as she ran to you, giving you the biggest hug ever

Thank goodness you were blessed with a best friend like Mina

“Hey” you smile at her

“I need you for something!! Follow me NEOW” her ecstatic energy already means she is gonna bombard you with questions

“Mhmm” you follow behind her into the common room

“Sooo?”

“You and izukuuuu” she giggles

“What? There’s nothing going on” you turn your head away in embarrassment

She pouts at that statement

“Whattt???”

“You cannot tell me he doesn’t like you”

She smushes your cheeks together with her hands

“You WILL ask him on a date”

“Understand?” She smiles but her tone still demanding

“Whatever” you swat her hands away

“Now let’s go” you smile and walk away with her

This time, a furious bakugou is outside of the room, you can already tell he scared Izuku away.

“You will NOT be asking him on anything”

He grabs you and drags you towards the dorms

“Bakugou why do you have to be such a killjoy?!” Mina yells at him while he’s walking away

“Shut it pinkie, this has nothing to do with you” he grips onto your hand harder

“Katsuki.” You stand still head tilted down

“Why do you always meddle in my life?”

You manage to break free from his grip

“I never get to experience anything, I always take after you. Your Attitude is the worst part.”

When you look up him, he notices tears swelling in your eyes threatening to fall down

“Y/n” he tries to reach his hand out but you just brush him off

“NO! Leave me alone katsuki”

You walk into the dorms wiping your eyes and locking your dorm behind you

Stupid older brothers, are they all like this? Ruining your life? Especially love life.

As wash your face with water, there’s a light knock at the door

“Y/n open up”

“It’s me”

He didn’t even have to say his name, you could tell by the whine in his voice

You get up and open it to see greatest treat you’ve set your eyes upon,

Izuku, you could tell he was fresh out the shower due to his half wet curls and chapstick slightly staining his lips.

“Woah.” Is all you mudder out

“Huh?” He chuckles raising one eyebrow

“Is that your way of saying hello?” He smiles, but all you are staring at is his lips

“Anyways.. can I come in?”

“Wait what” you eyes squint in confusion

“Remember? The studying?” He sighs

“Y/n. You know you don’t have to hang out with me or talk to me because you wanna make your brother jealous.”

He rolls his eyes

“N-no it’s not that”

“Just come in and let’s get to work?”

You pull him in and lock the door

“What were we studying for again?•

You look in your desk for a pen

“U-uhm”

His face starts to grow hot as he watches you bend over

“Uhm?” You get back up and turn to him, making his eyes shoot back to you

“Math..” he shifts his gaze to the book in front of him

While you guys are studying, the only thing you really care to look at is him

The way his eyebrows furrow coated with concentration

The way his lips look stained light red, having you question the flavor

Therefore your intrusive thoughts get the best of you

Pushing him down on the bed and climbing on top of him

“Y-y/n.?” His cheeks are a crimson red shade as his eyes follow your every movement

“Just shut up, little idiot” you lean down and kiss him, cherry , he’s practically whimpering into the kiss

He’s the first to break the kiss putting one arm over his face breathing heavily

“You have such pretty scars, yknow that?”

“You got hard just from a kiss?” You let out a faint chuckle as you tighten your thighs on his waist

“Your so weak..” you grind your clothed cunt onto him, leaving him with a gasp

“Aah.., fuck, y/n..” he whimpers and throws his head back, laying his hands on your hips

“You make such pretty noises izu” You coo, making his cock throb even more at your words

“M-mph.! Y/n..” he digs his nails into your hips

“Keep it down.. you want to get interrupted?”

“N-no.. please.. mmph..” he continues to whimper, (music to your ears :3)

“Please what izu?” You start to place kisses in his neck

“Please let me.. c-cum”

“pleasepleaseplease”

“Go ahead Izu”

he obeys. his body shuddering as he finds his release, his cum spilling all over his stomach and soiling his boxers.

“Go clean yourself up alright?” You smile at him while placing a final kiss on his lips as you get up

“W-where are you going?” He looks up at you with puppy dog eyes

“You were moaning and whimpering pretty loud, it can only attract a pervert” you unlock and swing open the door to see Mineta placing his hands in a motion to emphasize his ears

“Oh um,, I’ll get going” the little purple haired midget runs away

“Stupid fucker” you groan opening the door for Izuku

As you’re about to close the door ,,

“Y/n!” Izuku calls out

“What?” You peek your head out the doorframe

“will you be my girlfriend?” He does his signature scratch on the back of his head

“You need to take me on a date fucking idiot” you shout and smile

“Sure thing! Tomorrow 6pm!” His face turns red

“Mhm yeah”

You contain your happiness as he leaves, then when you close the door all you can do is giggle and sway your feet

DING ! ,, a notification?

Mina/Pinkie💕 : I thought you said nothing was going on? 😌

[jyantabear]

been playing pathologic throughout the summer and i've enjoyed it a lot and im currently on the changeling campaign and I heard a lot of people say the changeling route is underwhelming and weak but honestly i think it's been really great so far and I think it has tons of depth and I find Clara very interesting Idk im on day 8 of the campaign I feel like I have more thoughts on this route then the haruspex campaign. Perhaps its partly because Clara's subject matter appeals to me a lot but I think it's amazing It's this tragic story about a little girl who so badly wants to be good and do good. She wants to be love and accepted and find her place in the world with all the anxiety she has over her unsureness on her identity and the strange circumstances of her existence. It's about the Saburovs playing this pretend, toxic, nuclear family structure with her. Where a part of them does care about and love her but for selfish reasons. They project their insecurities on her, both of them. They want her to be their salvation and be their key to finally helping the town as they feel they're failures and frauds in that pursuit. So they pressure, love bomb, and abuse their daughter to fit this mold. And Clara is scared but she follows anyway desperate for love. And even without realizing it she's mimicking their teachings and values because It's all she's been given in this world. The only source of guidance It's about Clara and her relationship to the people around her. How she feels sympathy for her bound because she sees herself in them. Because she sees they're people with dimensions and are complicated. And she wants someone to see and grant her mercy and forgiveness as well. And it's so interesting to compare this to her interactions with Daniil and Artemy. Who she's also very similar with but demonizes them. (which I don't think is unjustified btw as they're very horrible to her. But I want to note that while the healers always had some tension between them this route has definitely cranked it up a ton and in the opening play Clara is the one criticizing them for being heartless, selfish, and "not knowing compassion" right off the bat. And even in the few times Artemy and Daniil can have pleasant exchanges with her it's short lived and never sticks with her) And she goes the extra mile to demonize them and deny and dismiss any complexity they might have as she also sees herself in them but doesn't want to admit it. Because it's what she doesn't want to be. It hurts too personally for her to associate with them and makes her feel pathetic even thinking she could be similar to them because she doesn't want to share their loneliness, their struggles, their failures. It makes her feel more stable in her identity to put them down and go "Well at least I'm not like those bloodthirsty horrible useless doctors" And While Clara also feels dislike towards Maria. Maria is someone Clara wants to be. She wants to be that beloved and powerful mistress. Someone who can guide and help others and use her power for good. Which is why she'll say "Her and Capella will be the only ones to understand my loneliness." Clara wants someone to understand her pain but only if she can protect this idealized image of herself she's painted in her mind because she's been hurt too much. It's a tragic story of the unrealistic and harsh standards placed on young teenage girls. And the idea that perhaps humanity is the problem. But taking that message in a rather conservative and violent way then one that acknowledges the complexity and indoctrination society and people have built. A young girl internalizing beliefs of irredeemable ontologically evil people due to all the abuse she's been put under.

[p4tt4t4]

Let's talk about Chayanne being a glass child. It seems that this has been a topic that has been noticed for some time, but I just notice the last friday! Xd

Probably because I'm a glass child myself, and yes I do kinn/kin(? Chay, so I take most of these behaviors as normal unconsciously (I had decided that I would use Tumblr only to upload drawings but since twitter didn't pay much attention to this I'll post it here too because I need to share my opinion with people).

First of all, what is a glass child?

It's a sibling of someone who needs extra attention/support. A child whos parents see right through them, like glass.

In this case Chay is a sibling of someone who is given extra attention most of the time, in most occasions not exactly because she needed it.

Chay is a glass child.

Theres no room to even try to discuss that.

Lullah is a kid who is constantly given extra attention. Whatever reasons it happens won't be important for this thing I'm written/sharing.

Lullah is seeing as the little sister. A little sister who needs, who must be protected above everything (which affects Lullah to some extent negatively but we won't focus on that this time). Lullah is seeing as someone weak. Someone who always will need help.

(I'm talking about must people on the server, yes including q!Philza, except, specifically, q!Missa).

Lullah is the little princess who must be protected.

Now, who is Chayanne?

Chay is the big brother.

The oldest.

The warrior.

The strong one

The protector of his siblings.

Chay must be strong, Chay must aim to be the strongest not just fiscally. Chay is forced to be this big, strong, brave leader who everybody can trust. Chay is expected to be the one wich his sibling can and must put to take every important decision if there's no adult around at the moment.

Chay is expected to be closer to act like an adult than a child.

When something dangerous happens Chay is not a priority. His sibblings are. Lullah is the priority. Philza must be sure that Lullah is fine before checking anyone else. Before checking if Chay is okey.

Because Chay is strong. Because Chay can take care of himself alone. Because Chay "don't need" that kind of attention to say it somehow.

I am a big sister, as I said before, a glass child too, so I have lived similar things, obviously not to a death or live situation but I understand the feeling. So, I'm gonna try to explain the feeling the best way I can for people who aren't a glass child.

As a big brother, as the warrior, the example, the leader, the protector he probably thinks that this kind of thinking is fine.

But I can assure it is not fine.

But I can't assure that Chay feels exactly like what I'm gonna said, because if he does feel like it, he would never show it to his dad therefore neither to us. He would do everything in his power to not show that he feels like this (I will explain why later). So I have no way of guaranteeing that he does feel like the following, either way he could feel this way and that's why we are talking about it.

Glass childs can feel jealous for theirs sibling. And it's an awful feeling. At the same time they can feel bad of being jealous of their sibling because they think that feeling like that is selfish. That They are being selfish by feeling that.

Because what right do they have to feel like that? Their sibling needs that attention. They can be fine without that attention. Thay must be fine without that attention. Because if they aren't, what kind of sibling are they?

Because is not like their sibling nor parents wants them to feel like they are being overlook. Because is not that their parents "loves them less". Is just because their sibling needs their parents attention more than them. And they must live with that. They must be good little kids that don't create more problems, more stress, nor to their sibling nor parents. Thats their job. To be one less problem.

The expectation of Chay is that he must be the one to fight for his sibling. Chay is expected to give everything in his power to assure the well being of Lullah.

Chay do like being strong, Chay do like to fight and protect. But when you are forced to the extreme of this things, of being strong all the time, of feeling the need to fight in every dangerous situation, to help, and to feel that you are always protecting and never being protected is exhausting.

As the big brother, the strongest, how could he tell ANYBODY that he is feeling exhausted of doing his job?

He can't show that that is making him feel sad, nor exhausted, nor any negative emotion.

Because he can't be a problem. Because he "doesn't" need more attention nor care of Phil.

Lullah is expected to be sentimental and open about everything she feels. It doesn't matter if it's sadness or happiness. It's expected for Talullah to show her emotions.

Chayanne is expected to be fine. Chay is expected to not show at the same extension his emotions as Lullah, nor his sadness, nor his fears nor any "negative" emotion. It is "normal" for Chay to not show such emotions. It's not something strange.

Because Chay sees his value on how well he can take care of his family, of Talullah.

He sees his value on how well he can perform as this big, strong, brave brother.

I will develop this using an example of Chay being treated as a glass child.

The last friday, Philza goes and saves Lullah first. Then Chay. This is not that big of a deal, but what is big deal is what he says when Tubbo started saying that he has a favorite.

"Out of this two, I know that Chayanne would be a little bit more okey being alone for a bit longer."

Chay is expected to be fine.

Chay must be capable of being fine.

Chay must be fine with Phil being more worried about Talullah than him.

Chay must be fine with Philza not being that worry about him because he has going to be okey.

And how does Chayanne react?

He said nothing. He literally didn't show any inmidiate reaction. He look at his dad for a moment and then look at what Lullah wanted to say. And just after Phil said that he is his little warrior, that he is strong, that he fight him and won he spoke.

He said that it was not great fighting Philza. And of course Phil said sorry... And that's it. Talullah is the one who mention (in a joke but still mention it) about Philza implying that he wasn't worry about Chay.

Chay is expected to be fine alone. To not need help as much as Lullah.

[a-french-coconut]

Part 4 (Will Solace)

Will Solace wakes up in the infirmary.

His supersonic whistle worked then ! His siblings must have found him and brought him back.

Fortunately for him, they're not currently present and he's alone. Otherwise he'll sure he would be chained to his bed the second he set his feet on the ground.

He finds himself in front a mirror.

Which would not be a problem except for the fact that he remembers really well punching this specific mirror one year ago in a fit of despair.

He really did not take well becoming Head Counsellor and main medic.

Did he replace the mirror ? Or his siblings maybe ?

Maybe he did replace it and just doesn't remember it. It wouldn't be the first time he forgot he did something. His brain is too occupied with fatal injuries and what ungodly morning hour he could wake up his boyfriend. In other words, this mirror is the last of his concerns.

Will

He turns around abruptly and but doesn't see anyone.

Why didn't you save me ?

It's not Raz, not her voice he would recognise it. Another spirit then.

Not a spirit, Solace. Just an old friend you let down.

An old friend ? None of his old friends have the capacity to pull this trick.

Except Travis maybe but Travis is in college.

"Why did you let me die ?"

There is a girl sitting on a bed.

Grey eyes that seem like they know all your weaknesses, red curly hair surrounding her face.

"Why did you let me die Will ?", says Justine, daughter of Athena, who died in the Battle of the Labyrinth.

"I didn't let you die, I gave everything I had to save you !" he protests because it's true. She was the last alive demigod injured they brought to the infirmary. Despite Lee's death on his mind, he tried his best to save her but she was brought in too late.

"Ah sorry, you misunderstood me." She stands up, blood dripping from her gash in the stomach, and marches towards Will.

She stops so close he can see the freckles dotting her nose.

"Why did you let me die in pain ?"

"What ?"

"You knew it was worthless. There was no way to save me and yet you made me endure two hours of endless suffering when you could have just killed me."

His dead friends usually accuse of letting them die. Not one has ever been angry with him for not killing them.

"Killed you ? And how exactly ! A quick snap of the neck ? A dagger through the heart ? Do tell me Justine, how the fuck do you suggest I coldly murdered you !"

"Oh I don't know ! I'm not the one with the fucking plague powers !"

Will staggers back, his back hitting the mirror .

"How- how do you know about..."

"Did you really think your little secret would stay hidden for long !", she laughs, specks of blood splattering his face.

"Everybody knows the monster you are Will. They all know you let their siblings die in pain because you were too selfish."

Tobias from Cabin 5, punctured lung.

Daphne from 11, extremely long blood loss because of a severed leg.

Victor from 9, covered so badly in burns Will didn't not know it was him until he heard his voice.

So much demigods counting on him to save them.

Only for him to fail them even in their death.

"Please stop this"

Justine pays him no mind, morphing into every demigod who died under his care, all looking at him with betrayal.

(We are not evil Will)

(No matter what you do, they'll blame us either way)

(So don't blame yourself for being a good person. Already enough people will do it for you)

"I didn't let you down."

Will looks in the eye of each demigod appearing in from of him.

"I did my best to save you and I failed. But if you think I regret for one second the pain I made you suffered in your last moments you are wrong. That pain meant there was still a chance for me to save you. And I will never abandon one of my patient."

He is standing in front of Justine again.

He's feeling rather light, like a burden was taken from his shoulders.

He supposes it had, watching Justine smiles at him with gratitude.

"Thank you for never abandon me old friend", she whispers fading in the light of the infirmary.

(Time to go back in the living world Will)

(I think we owe the campers we got sick to come back and heal them)

You did that Raz, as far as I am concerned, I took no part in it.

(Delusion can only get you so far Willy)

Don't call me that.

Will punches the mirror.

He really should have known it was a dream.

Kayla would have never let him without supervision.

The moment he opens his eyes, he regrets it, the bright light burning his eyes and causing him to groan.

"Will ! You're awake !"

His sister rushes to his side.

"You're alright ?"

"Yes Kayla, I'm fine."

She lets out a relieved sigh and then proceeds to hit him in the stomach.

Multiple times.

Every punch a little meaner.

"Ouch ! Oh my gods Kayla you can't hit an injured demi- Ouch ! Stop this !"

"Don't ever disappear like this again ! I thought you were dead when I found you !"

"Oh Kayla..."

She hugs him hard, crushing his now bruised torso, and Will hugs even harder.

Nico was right. Three days are an awfully long time.

His arms are constantly covered in some salve, the freshness doing wonder for his burned skin, and he is prohibited from doing anything requiring magic. His new hairstyle is proof he needs to rest and gain back a lot of energy before starting to use it again.

But Will can't just stay in bed all day while the rest of the campers are still sick. However Kayla is well aware of his mother-hen nature and doesn't let him out of her sight.

Hey Raz ? Up for a little trip ?

(Will, we are going to be unstoppable !)

The dryads and Chiron are too busy to notice a little girl going bed to bed, eyes flashing green and tendrils of smoke dancing on her fingers.

Within the week, there is not a trace left of the illness.

Within the week, Will did not leave his cabin and when Kayla barges in, asking him how the Hades he managed to heal the entire camp, he just shrugs and tell her it must have been dad feeling a little gracious.

He was, after all, confined to his bed and took his little sister's orders very seriously.

He can hear laughter from his open window.

He is still weak, especially after his little trick with Raz, and is not allowed to leave his bed.

He doesn't mind, really.

"Stop moving amore mio, I'm trying to sleep here"

Will smiles at Nico di Angelo, the son of Hades sprawled all over him as if he was in his bed in Cabin 13.

"You missed quite lot, running around doing your father's requests. I have a lot of things to tell you."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow ? I'm very sleepy."

Will smiles fondly at his boyfriend and hugs him tighter.

"Yes it can. Good night my little ball of darkness."

"Good night tesoro"

"Call me like that again and I'll set the Cocoa Puffs on you."

"They love me !"

"Shut up and let me sleep Solace."

Will lets out a little laugh, kiss his boyfriend on the head, and closes his eyes.

Kayla's outrageous gasp when she found out in the morning that Nico had an impromptu sleepover was even more worth it.

"You're grounded !"

"I'm the Head Counsellor Kayla. You can't ground me."

What a better way to start the morning that waking up in your boyfriends' arms and pissing off your sister ?

Nico and he bolt out of the cabin snickering, arrows passing straight over their heads.

"Come on Neeks, there is someone you need to meet."

"I know them ?"

"You could say that, yes."

And this is the end of this little story !

Hope you enjoyed it !

[yagirljosieohyeah]

Hello! I saw you write for Demon Slayer, if it's possible, may I request some headcanons of the hashiras seeing reader as an older sibling figure?? Please and thank you! ^^

congrats on being my first request of course it’s no problem I wasn’t sure how you wanted it done so I did head cannons for each one and then at the end is a little mini scene with all of them. I didn’t specify readers age and I used they/them pronouns. If you see anything that you don’t like let me know and I’ll fix it.

tw: mention of injury but nothing to detailed or major (it’s like patching up an injury but I know people on the internet can be sensitive)

GIYŪ TOMIOKA

I think that he would be pretty reluctant to the idea of opening up to an older sister figure and it would take a lot of time to get him to trust you

however once you do he’s definitely going to be with you as much as possible

he’s lost a lot so now having someone he’s trying to be careful not to lose you

if you were to hang out with him it would consist of the two of you doing your own thing in the same room as each other

After missions he would definitely have you patch him up if needed (I doubt he would really trust anyone else to do it)

definitely says mean things as a joke but with how nonchalant his voice is it can be hard to tell if it’s a joke

if you were to ever consider giving up being a Hashira I think he would be angry because in his eyes you are a symbol of strength and you giving up makes him think you’re weak

eye contact I don’t know why I just feel like he’s the kind of person to constantly try and make eye contact with you

KYŌJURŌ RENGOKU

you would definitely have a lot of fun being his older sibling figure

Tons of compliments because he thinks you’re just great and he wants you to know it

definitely wary at first of being too attached to you because he doesn’t want the pain of losing you

Would support you if you decided you didn’t want to be a Hashira and would help you achieve your goal

constantly pushing you to do your best

You are the brains of every operation

he’s the little brother who stands just outside your door and says “I’m not in your room” when you tell him to get out

TENGEN UZUI

omg the most chaotic duo ever to exist because even if you’re chill he’s not so you won’t get or be either

you have to try really hard to keep him chill

a bit of a selfish sibling on the surface but is really caring deep down

you have to be friends with his wives you don’t get a choice

they all definitely love you too and like to hang out with you when he’s away

over all he’s giving that one meme that’s like

Uzui: “Can I have some of your fries”

You: “sure, can I have some of your burger”

uzui: “no”

Random person: “well that rude”

Uzui: “my burger has pickles on it she’s allergic to pickles do you want her to die”

SHINOBU KOCHŌ

I don’t think she’d want you around at first simply because I think that the person she’s always seen Kanae as her sister even in death

it will take a very long time so you’d start as friends but I think she’s slowly begin to give in to you taking care of her

like after missions if she comes home with a bloody scratch she goes to you to patch it up even though she knows she could do it herself

you are also now Kanao Tsuyuri’s older sibling to

you are going to be hearing a lot about Giyū being a freak and a loner

If you ever get sick she will try to make medicine for you

And if she gets sick she’ll refuse help at first until you force her

MUICHIRŌ TOKITŌ

A total air head and super forgetful

you’re going to have to remind him of everything he has to get done

there will be a lot of you taking care of him since he forgets when he has things to get done

He often acts like he doesn’t care but see down he does

when injured or sick he would avoid getting help

he would see it as not a big deal

however if you noticed and said something I think he would accept your help

generally pretty quiet I suppose

Deep down he’s got a lot of rage so I think he might snap at you occasionally.

(Sorry this one’s so short I don’t know much about him)

OBANI IGURO

Honestly a total ass but it makes sense with everything he went through

he is very petty and will try to get revenge for every little thing

he definitely Calls you weak sometimes or mocks you

you’re the only person he would ever allow to change the bandages on his face

only you would be allowed to see the scars

he would probably give his life for you

please help him talk to Mitsuri he needs it

not a great brother over all but I think he has some highlights

MITSURI KANROJI

stop I can see it now it would be such a cute family dynamic

she would want to make flower crowns with/for you

pretty quick to open up to the idea of an older sibling figure

please help her even though she’s a love Hashira she has no idea how to talk to Obani

she would make you food, definitely

I feel like she would enjoy going on walks to clear her mind of all the bad thoughts that come with being a demon slayer

she’s a hugger I know it

she laughs at all your jokes

if she’s sick she will whine that she’s dying and needs you to take care of her

if she gets hurt she will whine that she’s dying and needs you to take care of her

literally the best sister you could ever have

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

This ball of rage would be so overprotective

he would rarely let you take care of him because he didn’t want to be seen as weak

is always trying to push you to be stronger because he doesn’t like to hang around weak people

will go with you as back up on your missions

if anything ever happened to you because of a demon he would lose his shit

you have to stop him when he stabs nezuko cause he won’t listen to the others

he’s fun but very intense 8/10 on the brother scale

GYŌMEI HIMEJIME

He’s so emotional like he would be very sensitive to how you were feeling

if something is bothering you we’ll now it’s bothering him

would definitely be fine with you bandaging him up when he needs it

he would teach you all the things he knows even if you’re older than him

you’re his eyes

he gives you little trinkets

I think you are the type of siblings who can have a whole conversation without saying a word

EVERYONE TOGETHER

ANGST

what we’re you supposed to do the demon had obviously made a plan before coming here. You watched as he calculated exactly when to launch his attack on the others. You couldn’t let that happen they were your family and you would do anything for them. So before he got a chance you full force slammed your shoulder into his side knocking him over. Raising your sword you plunged it into his head before pulling it out. Just as you were about to sever his head something pierced through the front of your uniform into your uniform. With a barely contained scream you looked down and saw it was a large stone. The one he had been fighting with. With whatever strength you still had you sliced off his head. Just as he began to disappear you collapsed.

“hey guys” Mitsuri said softly her eyes slowly filling with tears. Looking over the other hashiras saw your limp body. With eyes wide Shinobu ran towards you as quickly as she could before dropping to her knees. Mitsuri followed closely behind followed by the others. Placing her ear to your chest she heard nothing. She pulled away before shaking her head and staring down at your Giyū turned walking away he couldn’t look. Gyōmei’s tears fell more rapidly than usual as he clasped his hands praying for your safe travel to the world above. Sanemi looked at where the demons face was still disintegrating and he stabbed it over and over. Obani and Muichiro both stood there eyes totally blank and hearts broken. After everything you had done to protect them they had been to weak to protect you when you needed them.

I feel really bad that this took so long. I got pretty sick a few days ago so I’m not doing my best: Sorry if this was bad it’s been a while since I’ve seen demon slayer so I don’t remember everything about the characters. Thanks for your request and I hope you have a wonderful day.

-🍬

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.

I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.

For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.

I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.

Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.

If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.

That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"

Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.

For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.

The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.

At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.

The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?

Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.

Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-

But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.

Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.

To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.

"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.

"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."

And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.

What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.

I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.

[felixcloud6288]

PMMM ep 5-8 recap

So now I'm two-thirds through the main series and there's a whole lot to unpack.

First off, @sailor-arashi clued me into this so if I'm wrong, please direct all your hate to her. I'm also getting my info from jisho.org.

The kanji for "witch" and "magical girl" both use the same kanji 魔 which means things such as "demon" or "evil spirit". The full kanji for witch is 魔女 which adds the kanji for woman to the name. Magical girl meanwhile is 魔法少女. It has the same kanji as witch but includes 法少 in the middle. 法 means "law" or principle, while 少 means "little". The word for witch is pronounced "majo" while magical girl is "mahou shoujo".

So essentially, the big twist is something that a Japanese viewer could realize if they pay attention to the word play, but it's harder to notice for non-Japanese viewers.

Most of these last four episodes have been focused on Sayaka. Back in episode 3, Mami strongly recommended against making a selfless wish and we're seeing the reason why. @sailor-arashi told me there's a prequel manga where Mami mentored Kyouko until the fallout from Kyouko's wish happened. So Mami would be speaking from experience.

Sayaka holds herself to too high a standard. She wants to be a hero who protects the weak and a selfless, caring soul. She doesn't like admitting to her selfish desires. She spent her wish on something that didn't benefit her at all and she was upset that she regretted saving Hitomi because Hitomi likes Kyousuke.

She hates Homura and Kyouko because they exude an absolutely selfish aura. They do not hide that they don't care about saving the world and are only interested in their own selfish goals. But being selfish lets them deal with what they are. Being a Magical Girl is just a job they do while they pursue their own interests. Meanwhile Sayaka insists on carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and finds no joy in anything she does.

It's kind of like devoting your life to a corporate job where the boss will fire you in an instant.

Now some parallels between Sayaka and Kyouko. Both of them made a selfless wish to help someone they loved. And both of their wishes ultimately got them nothing. Sayaka wished for Kyousuke's hand to be healed, but he ended up getting with Hitomi. Kyouko wished that people would listen to her father's sermons but when he found out the truth, he killed himself and his family.

Both of them made a surface-level selfless wish with an underlying selfish motive (Sayaka wanted Kyousuke to love her; Kyouko wanted a happy family life) but the wish ultimately led to their true desire being completely unattainable and giving their soul for nothing.

Kyouko's response was to take her powers and decide to do whatever she wants. Sayaka however opted to double down and be a magical girl who acts selflessly.

And I have to say, I love how Kyubey is ultimately an amazing mix of the benevolent, jerkass, and literal genie trope. When he's not forcibly coercing girls into becoming magical girls, he adheres to the spirit of what the person's wish was. He doesn't twist their words or make it true in a way that makes them wish they didn't have it. He grants exactly what you asked for, nothing more and nothing less.

And based on Sayaka and Kyouko's story, the problem is the wishes are disingenuous. Sayaka really just wanted Kyousuke to love her, and she could have wished for that. But instead she wished for something that she thought would give her what she wanted instead. So Kyubey makes them regret their wish without actually having to do anything. They are the victims of their own despair.

And at first, I figured that witches were magical girls who got corrupted by negativity or something like that. And that is true, but it seems to be intentional. Kyubey is intentionally turning girls into witches for some reason. So girls with the "aptitude" to be magical girls are likely girls who aren't willing to be honest with themselves and think they have to be caring and selfless.

So now I just need to find out his intentions. His true name is Incubator. Is that referring to how he incubates witches?

Finally, Homura. Her magic is related to time travel. Sayaka has healing magic because she made a wish to heal someone. So I assume Homura's wish was to either restart something or undo something.

And with that emotional breakdown she had in front of Madoka, it obviously has something to do with her. My guess is she wished to save Madoka from becoming a magical girl. Madoka would be just as much of a selfless person as a magical girl. She'd be driven by love rather than justice, but she would try to carry the world on her shoulders as well. So in one timeline, she probably was crushed by the world and became a witch.

Homura has stepped in four times now to stop Madoka from becoming a magical girl: She tried to kill Kyubey on their first contact, saved her when Mami was killed, stepped in when Sayaka and Kyouko were trying to kill each other, and killed Kyubey when he suggested wishing Sayaka wasn't a magical girl.

I'm not going to say Homura has freedom to travel back in time when she wants, but she does have excellent timing. She's definitely gone back at least once.

And the nature of her powers seems to be somewhat stronger than Kyubey since he wasn't aware of what her powers were and he doesn't remember making a contract with her.

Maybe that opening thing from episode 1 was the previous timeline.

And does Homura's magic or wish make it so she can't tell anyone what's happened in a previous timeline and that's why Madoka seemed to forget her when Homura opened up to her?

At this point, I'm most interested in finding out why Kyubey is making witches. He's interested in the grief seeds since he took the one Sayaka had. But there definitely has to be more to it. This process seems a bit too complex if the goal is to collect concentrated grief.

back

[linkspooky]

Thoughts on Higuruma?

He’s personally one of my favorites. I’m interested to know if ya had any analysis/opinions on him. And how you think his arc will go in the future.

Higuruma’s character is interesting on two levels, one because he is subversive of a lot of characters thinking in Jujutsu Kaisen “the ugliness of the weak, might makes right, the solution to every problem is getting stronger” he also contrasts Geto in an interesting way as they both have similiar reasons for breaking down but end up going in the complete opposite direction. I’ll explore more under the cut. 

1. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

In Jujutsu Kaisen and in shonen manga in general, the attitude is that the solution of every problem is to just train and get strong. This is an attitude echoed not only by Gojo but also his students especially in the earliest parts of the manga. If there’s a difficulty you can’t face, if you lose someone, then the solution is to work harder to get stronger. 

This is an understandable attitude especially after Yuji’s death is caused both by Yuji having to rely on Sukuna instead of controlling him, and also a death that could have been prevented if Megumi fought Sukuna using his power to his full potential. In such a situation where you are rendered weak and helpless due to your lack of ability, it makes sense you would want to be stronger so as to not be caught in that situation ever again. 

There’s a certain logic to it, if you’re weak you can’t even help yourself especially in a crisis situation so of course if you want to help other people you have to be at least that capable. 

The problem for Gojo and his students is that they really only know how to be strong, as if that is the solution to every problem. Megumi, Nobara and Yuji all train to get stronger, but by the end of the Origin of Obedience arc, they all suffer from a lack of communication because Yuji and Megumi both want to keep secrets from each other in order to protect the other one. Maki is someone who wants to get strong enough to fight back against the entire Zenin clan and prove them wrong about her, and yet she’s also incapable of basic communication with her sister Mai that could have solved their conflict. 

This is a lesson that Gojo learns early on in life too at the end of Premature death, that being strong was not something that could save Geto. The reason why I say “Might makes Right” is a common philosophy in the Jujutsu World is because Gojo himself had a bit of a complex, believing that people like him and Geto were so much stronger than normal humans that they couldn’t have human flaws too. 

The reason that Suguru’s downfall gives Gojo such whiplash is because he didn’t believe someone he saw as above other people like him was capable of making such a human error. It’s not just refusal to believe that a friend like Suguru would do anything wrong, it’s his entire world getting flipped on its head. 

Which is where we get this might makes right philosophy, that those who wield power are always righteous, whereas weakness is some kind of sin. Despite the fact there is no human being on earth who is strong all the time in every situation, and everyone has vulnerabilities, flaws. This is where we get Higuruma himself is a subversion of that kind of thinking, because while most characters either look down on, or try to ignore weakness Higuruma is a rare person who tries to look at that weakness instead. 

He is someone who remembers the basic fact that all people are weak sometimes, and as selfish as they may seem they are people who are in need of help. Expecting a person who’s suffering and a person who’s weak to also be completely morally pure at the same time, to suffer nobly, to not show any ugliness at all when they’re in pain is almost expecting too much out of them. Whereas Higuruma’s logic is simple, Itadori’s weak and he needs help, and Higuruma’s reason for helping him is that there are probably lots of people just like Itadori who need help too. Weakness is something we all share in common. 

2. The Ugliness of the Weak

Geto and Higuruma are also both two characters who continually tried to help weak people around them, because they believed they had a duty to do so out of their position as someone strong. Geto is one of the strongest curse users in the generation, whereas even when he was just a lawyer, Higuruma was regarded as a genius. 

They are both characters with higher minded goals who believe they have to act out of duty to protect others. 

Their duty is not something they can look away from or shrug off. However, it’s this positivity, this drive they have to help others that ends up leading to their downfall. Higuruma and Geto even have incredibly similar breakdowns. Geto describes his as getting stuck in the cycle of exorcising and consuming curses without making a real difference in the world. Higuruma’s caught in a similiar cycle. 

They are both essentially exposed to the ugliness of people over and over again until they completely lose faith and believe what they are doing is pointless. At which point they snap and become an inversion of their former selves, Higuruma kills people in the game seemingly without remorse, Geto starts massacring the humans he once swore to protect. 

It is also for both of them more the systems they are caught up in that are to blame, then the weak people themselves. The indifferent masses seem like an easy target to lash out against, but Higuruma’s frustration comes with the law system, and Geto’s frustration is the corrupt sorcery world that commands young sorcerers to die over and over again. 

If there was a difference between the two of them it was Geto flipped his opinion and started to despise weak people entirely. He could never divorce himself from the idea of might makes right, so even when he started to lose his way he didn’t face the ugliness of himself. Geto can’t see any resmeblance between the weak people he looks down on and himself, even though by the time of Jujutsu Kaisen Zero he’s perfectly willing to kill Yuta an innocent to make his plans go forward, the same way Toji ruthlessly executed Rika. Might makes right, after all, the strong are the ones who have the right to decide over the weak. 

Whereas Higuruma is still capable of seeing weakness in himself, because he recognizes that all people are weak and ugly and that he is no exception. It’s Yuji’s admission of his own weakness and taking responsibility that brings him back down to earth, because there’s a better path forward in helping a weak person than there is in eliminating them. 

Higuruma is able to reflect upon the weakness in himself in a way that Geto can’t, and because of that he’s able to process his remorse and realize he regrets the people he has killed so far, something that breaks him out of the cycle of violence whereas Geto is still caught up in that cycle until the end. 

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

My favourite quotes from my lottienat fic because almost no one saw the last chapter and I'm low key really proud of it lol

"Lottie loves so many broken things. She loves things that hurt her and damage her and stitch her back up, she loves things full of rot and ruin, and she knows she would sacrifice her very self for them. She knows broken doesn’t mean unlovable, but Malcom Matthews clearly doesn’t agree."

"She’s crying blood. Her organs are rusting. Her body is decaying. The animals will smell her. They will come, they will hunt her, they will take her, they will eat her. Consumption. Sacrifice for the fractured girl as they mount her body, as they drink her blood, as she provides iron tears and lies (truths?) lies her mutilated mind believes. And she will let them, she will-"

"It seems unfair almost, that something so pretty and pure should be destroyed with such violence. But life wasn’t fucking fair especially not for fragile things. "

"She was also a girl built for deafening love and silent sacrifice. An angel of chipped black nail polish and bloody knuckles and a heart that loved deeply enough to drown. A siren of rough edges and unconditional devotion."

"It’s comforting in a way, that someone will always see her in her plainest state. No lights or flash or ornamentation. Natalie will always see her as a girl. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s tenderness in a way she’s not sure what to do with, vulnerability in a way that keeps her eyes on the road as she reaches into her pocket and wordlessly hands her lighter over."

"Take anyone else's burden and Natalie Scatorccio will meet it square jawed and unflinching. She had always done the hard thing without a single complaint, glaring into an unwanted spotlight and plunging wrist deep in decay to ensure the job was done. Make it her own problem however, and the running starts. A scared child, a slaughter ready lamb, a damaged collection of fear and love and good intent."

"She feels a second away from being devoured, pray ready and waiting for consumption. Only it’s another pray waiting for her, looking at her like a one more burden will send it crumbling down in unsteady collapse. But maybe pray is too innocent. Maybe it’s predator on predator, maybe they’ve both lost their meaning. Nat’s eyes flick down, just for a moment, and Lottie feels like floating. "

"But they were still the same people they always were. Broken, damaged, ruined. Natalie couldn’t talk Lottie to safety. Lottie couldn’t talk Nat into seeing that she was worth something, that broken things were lovable as long as they weren't called Charlotte Matthews. And yet she tries. Like a pretty, useless show pony with only one trick."

"Lottie is selfish to the core, cold poison latching onto her heart and pumping itself around her brain. The passivity of her mother and the cruelty of her father leaves her with a deadly combination. For herself or others she’s still not sure, she can’t know. She doesn’t want to. "

"She thinks the heat might spread then, from forehead to fingertips to cheek to hips. Maybe that would be enough to heat her into something solid, something permanent, something whole. Maybe she just wants Nat. She doesn’t know exactly what that says."

"Lottie’s been freezing all her life, she’s sick of running from fire. She wants to be burnt alive. She wants to be melted and drunk from her lips down, from her broken brain and worthless selfish heart. She wants Natalie Scatorccio to burn her alive, with all the tenderness and care of the storm in her eyes, with all the sacrifice of an unwilling love. She wants it to be willing for her. She wants her. She wants-"

Link if you're interested:

[no-where-new-hero]

LANTERN HILL CATCH UP POST AT LAST! Analysis under the cut so the post doesn't destroy everyone's timelines.

CH. 2:

LMM really knows how to put her heroines on the torture rack of family disapproval. We just went through Valancy's under the Stirlings and I know Emily's off by heart, but there's something even more terrible about the way Jane is treated because she's not 29 and therefore somewhat more acquainted with life, nor does she have Emily's soul-armor of imagination. As an object of belittling, she has very little to shield herself when her entire world is her unpleasant family around her. Love this line, I've definitely been there too lol.

Sometimes Jane thought drearily that there must be something the matter with her when there were so many people she didn't like.

CH. 3:

Jane got up and walked out of the summer-house and around the garage, past the lonely dog-house that had never had a dog in it…at least, in Jane's recollection…

Disappointed (Dog)House.

Again Jane felt a thrill of understanding. So this girl was afraid of people, too.

Jane is an unusual socially-centric LMM heroine from what I can tell. Valancy and Emily disappear into blue castles or nature to cope. Anne is intensely sociable, but she wins over everyone: she's never allowed the grimier side of humanity to put fear in her. So the fact that this is what stands against Jane and Jody marks a change: they would like to partake in the freedom of society but mores stand against Jody and Grandmother stands against Jane.

CH. 4:

Ahem. Mother's complete and utter lack of compassion for Jody is where the problems begin to arise, I see. I'm also a bit impressed that Jane is able to see her mother's "weakness" so unerringly at 10. It shows how the circumstances of always living in terror of Grandmother has provoked a trauma response of being too precocious at reading people. Grandmother continues to make my blood boil. This following passage REALLY shows LMM's mastery in making the most of an economical scene:

She stood in the doorway and looked at them. You could feel the silence spreading through the room like a cold, smothering wave. "What does this mean, Victoria...if I am allowed to ask?" "This is...Jody," faltered Jane. "I...I brought her over to give her my doll. She hasn't any." "Indeed? And you have given her the one your Aunt Sylvia gave you?" Jane at once realized that she had done something quite unpardonable. It had never occurred to her that she was not at liberty to give away her own doll.

And Jane DOES have a blue castle! Of course LMM couldn't leave her without a coping mechanism. Calling it a "moon spree" is absolutely delightful and henceforth anytime I fall into daydreams I'm going to call it a moon spree.

CH 5:

All she knew about him was that his name must have been Andrew Stuart, because mother was Mrs Andrew Stuart.

Okay not gonna lie this broke my heart a little. She doesn't even know his name qua his name. It probably had never been directly spoken to her. I have to say I love her audacity (even if unintended) in dropping the bombshell question in the mother of Grandmother's tea party. I can only imagine the tempest in the teapot that followed Jane's departure.

But the most terrible thing about it all was that there was something now that could not be talked over with mother. Jane felt it between them, indefinable but there. The old perfect confidence was gone.

And this stuck under my skin. Of course Jane would avoid the subject like the plague, but what's keeping Robin from providing her daughter with some necessary context? Grandmother's prohibition on mentioning him seemed mostly directed at Jane. I'm sure more about Robin will unfold, but keeping in mind a lot of stuff other people have posted about her, I think her cardinal sin is this kind of selfish immaturity. She has learned to love her daughter, probably because Jane insists on being self-reliant, but because of that she probably can't see what she can do to help Jane's suffering.

CH 6:

Mary did not tell Jane that she firmly believed the old lady had poisoned the dog. You didn't tell children things like that and anyway she couldn't be dead sure of it. All she was sure of was that old Mrs Kennedy had been bitterly jealous of her daughter's love for the dog.

MRS. KENT ENERGY. I feel certain someone else in the book club brought this up, but wow the resemblance is strong with this one. And a way into deciphering Teddy's character based on Robin? Certainly, the selfishness and immaturity doesn't seem a stretch to imagine.

"I expect you to obey me without argument, Victoria. You cannot have your own way all the time. Other people's wishes must be considered occasionally. Please oblige me by making no further fuss over a trifle."

Okay of all Grandmother's travesties, this one takes the cake for me. I want to slap the daylights out of this woman so badly.

CH. 7:

Kenneth Howard has peaked eyebrows...brother under the skin to Barney Snaith. Now, all jokes aside, Jane projecting onto Kenneth Howard kind of hit a personal nerve. And the fact that it's yet another thing that Robin can't talk about...like, WOMAN. Please be normal about men to your 11 year old daughter or neither of you may ever recover. I'm curious how this thread will be taken up again later.

CH. 8:

Something about the fact that Robin can't even tell her own daughter that she did a good job in front of Grandmother, no matter what Grandmother herself thinks, makes me wonder what kind of threat Robin finds herself under. Because Grandmother so determinedly "loves" Robin, she doesn't seem likely to wield sarcasm against her. Yes, she kind of orders her about and turns her into her doll, but that's less active cruelty than what she says to Jane. What is Robin so afraid of that prevents her from supporting her daughter? That Jane will be harmed if she seems too loved, like her dog? Yet if Robin is that aware of what's going on and doing nothing about it--dramatically saying that its too late for them to escape--then Robin is literally as damaging to Jane's well-being as Grandmother is.

[em-nikolaev]

The Duality of "Strong Female Character No. 2"

So, I'm re-reading the Conqueror's Saga by Kiersten White for what must be the thousandth time, and I keep comparing it (irrationally) to another series I'm re-reading, that being the shades of magic. The main line of connection I've been able to draw between them are the female characters featured within, both SOM and TCS have 'strong female characters' in a historical setting, but they are so very different in how they are written.

I'll confess, I don't like Lila Bard, she gets on my nerves, for the longest time I didn't really relise why, but now I have a thesis, so buckle in.

Lila is NOT a strong female character, she's manipulative, cruel, a bit misogynist, and selfish, which, on it's own would be fine, we love flawed characters in this household, but the problem is, it's never acknowledged in any real way during the series how her actions harm others, and even herself. Her views are validated and rewarded without consequence, I mean, there are moments when she feels some semblance of guilt, but it's never more than a fleeting thought, I'd like to make it clear, I understand why people like her, and that's completely fine, she's a strong woman with a knife and an absurd amount of confidence and that's awesome, but I can't help but feel that her presence in the SOM is bringing the series down, feel free to disagree, I'd love to be proven otherwise, but as it stands, I don't think the character of Lila Bard is a good one, especially in comparison to Lada, who is a similar character in a lot of ways, they are both forced to act more like men for safety and power, they are both strong willed and dangerous women, but the thing that I think raises And I Darken and subsequent books above and beyond in their writing is the way Lada interacts with other women, as well as how she reacts to the world and her own actions.

At first Lada and Lila are quite similar, Lada thinks of women as weak and powerless, likely due to how her mother abandoned her to a situation that ultimately resulted in both her and her brother's captivity (not a spoiler, it happens pretty early on, if you haven't read And I Darken I can't recommend it more, It's great) but as the story progresses her view is challenged, she meets many different women in a similar situation to her and she ends up seeing how femininity and their womanhood can be just as powerful as the control which she has found with blunt force and cruelty, but she finds that, for the very same reason those women were able to leverage their femininity, she was not able to, Lada is not beautiful, she is not "court smart", and she is not patient, these are faults which she understands, much in the way that the women around her understand that they too have faults in that they do not have the physical strength or strategy to fight numerous battles, all this to say, Lada is different than (some not even all) the women around her, that does not make her better or worse, just different, whereas with Lila, she's "not like other girls" because she's perceived as better, breaking even the very laws of the established universe to express that she is special.

I'm really interested in hearing anyone's thoughts if you've read either of these books, I would also like to say that I really enjoyed the Shades of Magic series aside from the grievances I stated above, and am not saying that I think V. E. Schwab is a bad writer,

With that I conclude my long winded essay, don't forget to drink water, eat food, and sleep!

[witchhazelevesque]

the side missing from the circle (pt 2)

pt 1

Leo gets the whole fortune cookie thing a little more now.

Sitting on the porch of Cabin Nine, he has a good view of the Nemesis cabin and the broken wheel hanging over the door.

The circle that shouldn’t roll, the shape of that answer, a piece cut from the whole.

He prods lightly at his bruises, wonders if it’s worth taking the nectar Will had offered him when his discussion with Percy and Apollo had wrapped up. He might need it more later on, because apparently he’s got more danger in his future.

Enemies with weak spots that might not be so easy to find.

"Lemme let you in on a secret: on my quest, your mother appeared to me and chose me as her champion, and I can tell you exactly what she is like," Leo had quietly told Damien.

The price of being championed by the gods is one Leo wouldn't wish on most, and he doesn't wish it on Damien. But heroes like him, the ones that want action, that thirst for a chance to prove themselves never really get what it is until they're drowning in their opportunities for so called glory.

Leo won't pretend like he had any altruistic motives, but there is something grimly satisfying in making another half-blood less eager to throw themself into danger for rewards that won't be what they hoped.

"Consider this repayment, so you know what to expect. Maybe one day you'll make her proud and she'll appear to you too. And when you finally look at her face, you know what will actually be there?" Leo had asked him. "The face of the person you hate most in the world."

Granted, Leo doesn't actually know if this is the case for Nemesis's own children, but given that Piper isn't immune to Aphrodite's shifting appearance, he thinks he's right.

It's probably the lowest blow he could have taken, because Leo knows how fucked up the gods can leave their children. Leo’s living- sort of- proof of that. If Damien only showed up after the quest group left, that means that he wasn't claimed for years when he should have been. Leo took a calculated risk that he'd never met his mother.

Nemesis chose Leo as her champion for a reason, and it's not because he's the forgiving type.

Not for the things that matter.

"Feel free to ask, if you want to know more," is the last thing he'd whispered.

And like with everything in his life, he'd done it with a smile on his face.

It was selfish, but even without the goddess's aura of vengeance, Leo had still wanted to make the score even.

"You know," a voice says above him, and he glances up to see Percy leaning against the side of the porch. "As someone who the rest of the campers have fled from more than once, I gotta say, that was probably the most efficient mass exodus I've ever seen."

A mostly ironic smile pulls at Leo's face, and he says, "Thanks."

Percy looks at him then, more seriously and says, "I'm not really one for gossip-"

He stops when Leo lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head so it looks even higher, because there were only so many people keeping the gossip mill on the Argo going, and Percy was definitely one of them.

"At the best of times, I'm not," Percy amends, and Leo lets it slide. "And after everything, I want to leave this camp knowing this is the best of its times, so… whatever is going on, is it going to lead to problems?"

"None that weren't already here," Leo says, looking down at his hands.

Percy sighs, sounding more worn out than upset. "That is a millennia's worth of problems by itself."

"Yeah," Leo agrees.

"You're not going to stay, though, are you?" Percy says, not asks.

"You already know I can't," Leo says. "Sorry you've only ever known me as a hit and run."

"You're not a hit and run, man," Percy says. "You're just saying that because you're feeling sorry for yourself."

"Well, no one else is," Leo points out, miming a boxer's stance, pulling a couple of quick jabs at the air.

"Yeah," Percy says, and doesn't defend it because there's not much to say. "Yeah, that was messed up."

Leo's answering smile is still mostly ironic.

Percy straightens up from the porch railing. "You're not a hit and run, Leo," he repeats. "So, you don't have to act like one."

"Bleh bleh bleh," Leo mimics half-heartedly.

Percy rolls his eyes but he's smiling. "I don't know you as well as some of the others, but I do know you aren't the kind of person to leave things unfinished."

Leo looks back to the broken wheel, the circle that will never be complete. True success requires sacrifice. You can't get something without giving up something else. Nothing lasts forever, even the best of things.

He doesn't regret what he did, but maybe it isn't complete yet.

[hello-nichya-here]

Been a long time since I sent an ask but I'm hoping for your forgiveness xD

Anyway, I've been in a Stannis staning mood recently and remembered a theory.

Apparently the reason Stan is popular is because he serves as the replacement Ned Stark due to his strict adherence to honor, law and morality. Any thoughts?

I do see similarities but I've always felt them to be different people. They had respect for each other yes, but were never really friends.

Plus their flaws and shortcomings are different. Ned could have prevented the war by not telling Cersei but he was too merciful of a person for that. Stannis greatest mistakes and vile deeds came almost always when he compromised on his code.

I guess what Game of Thrones teaches is that both good and evil deeds, both selfish and selfless actions can have negative consequences. People don't act in isolation, the results always depend on how other people react.

While they both are characters that fully believe that "What's right is right", the are some key differences between them.

The first and most important one can summed up in an exchange that happened between Davos and Stannis:

"What is the life of one bastard boy against an entire kingdom?"

"Everything."

Ned covered up the truth about Jon being Lyanna's son with Rhaegar, spoke out against the plan to kill Daenerys (who was 14 and pregnant at the time), and refused to just let Cersei's children be executed despite knowing that they were bastards born of incest. All of that was because his honor and his idea of what's right says that protecting the weak and innocent is his obligation - especially if said weak and innocent are children.

Stannis meanwhile was fully ready to kill Dany and Viserys as children, nearly burned Edric Storm alive, and will 100% kill any of Cersei's bastards if he ever comes across them. That is because Stannis's morals are all about the good of the real and the rules of society.

This isn't always bad - he is sexist and racist, but won't allow his men to rape women of the free-folk because to become a rapist is to become a dishonarable man, and he won't tolerate that kind of shit.

But it also means that he is fully okay with Melisandre burning people alive because her God told her to and (more importantly) plenty of said people were enemies of his that were breaking the law by supporting other kings. Why would he have a problem with that? What's the difference between burning people in the name of Rhollor and stabbing a bunch of them to death in the name of the Seven/the king? War is war, and sacrifices have to be made.

Ned meanwhile will NOT accept that kind of thing. He has killed people before, and he WAS willing to let Cersei and her children be executed if she didn't run away with - but he still gave her the warning. He gave them a chance to survive. To end this conflict without anyone's death being necessary. Stannis meanwhile fucked off to prepare for war.

Another key difference between them is that Ned is much more forgiving in general, and especially with the people he cares about. He killed the guy who deserted the Night's Watch, but only because he did not believe his story about the White Walkers attacking them - if he had, the guy would have lived and not suffered any punishment. Ned was also not okay with cheating, excessive drinking, or people neglecting their responsibilities - but he was best friends with Robert, the guy who full on said "Hey, be my Hand, so you can do all the work for me while I eat, fuck and drink."

Can anyone even imagine Stannis Baratheon EVER letting someone get away with saying that kind of crap to him? For fuck's sake, Davos is his best friend AND smuggled food to Stannis in a siege in which he nearly died... and Stannis still cut off Davos's fingers as punishment for the crime of being a smuggler.

We also have the fact that, while Ned didn't really understand the Game Of Thrones. Like, at all. He legit thought Cersei wouldn't stab him in the back after he said "I know about the treason, incest, and I'm also gonna accuse you of murder." Stannis never made that kind of mistake. He despises the empty flattery and courtesies their society relies on, yes, but he always makes sure he has some card up his sleeve that allows him to get away with not enganging on that part of the game.

This also connects to another thing: Stannis changed, Ned did not. Ned Stark died because he could not addapt to the place he was at, not even long enough to just get enough time to go back to Winterfell and leave Robert holding his dick. Stannis meanwhile addmited that Davos and Jon Snow were right - just going "Fuck you, I'm the king, bow to me!" was not working, would likely never work, and if he wanted people to support him, he'd need to change tactics and help them with their problems instead of focusing just on his. He went from the king that even rejected, and who despised his subject, to "the king who cared." Quite the drastic change.

Finally, we also have ANOTHER way in which Stannis changed, and that ties into something he does NOT have in common with Ned: the way they handle being the second son.

Stannis went from sleeping with Melisandre just because it was necessary (both in the sense of "the red God wants it" and "It will kill your rival in a second"), to not so subtly bragging about the fact that she is his mistress and that she scares the fuck out of everyone but is his loyal servent.

This "sudden" change happened because, while Stannis never really asked to be king, he was always the unloved child. The one who was too difficult to deal with. The one who just needed to lighten up a little. The one who didn't have Robert and Renly's charisma. The king NOBODY wanted.

And then here comes Melisandre, telling the is the literal chosen one. The most important man in the whole world. The one who will save everyone and be seen as a legend forever and ever. And he buys into that pleasant lie because it validates all the anger, resentment and loneliness he felt all these years, and tells him "It was not your fault, you were right all along. Everyone else was the problem, not you"

Ned meanwhile, despite loving Catelyn and the life they had together, would often get all melancolic over the fact that he was not supposed to be the heir, the ruler of Winterfell. And when Robert comes in offering to give him MORE power, MORE responsibility, MORE of a great status, he fucking hates it. Unlike Stannis, Ned doesn't resent the time he spent in his brother's shadow as the "least important one." He seems to miss it and the safety it brought to him.

Which is why he often refused to play the game, unlike Stannis. Playing is the only way to have even a CHANCE of winning. And when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.

[asexualbookbird]

okay finished daughters of izdihar last night and have sat on it. I finished it myself, not via audio, and I think the audio did it a real disservice but i still dont think i would have enjoyed it a whole lot.

the audio hm. the narrator for Girogina is that same who does the Rool & Rose audios and i LOVE her there but she felt kind of flat? I wonder if it was just Giorgina as a character though because i found myself liking Giorgina less in book form and Nehal more compared to the audio. I mentioned it before but Nehal's narrator would cut out at some points and it sounded like it was dubbed over? Rerecorded and cut in? mostly with non English words so I wonder if she pronounced things wrong and went back and fixed it. Which is good and fine and how things should be but it was jarring to listen to.

the book itself though! wow did i want More. More weaving, mostly. I did my best not comparing it to Avatar, but uh. When our main character who I've been picturing as Katara suddenly starts bloodbendingweaving uhhhhhHHHH its kind of hard. I did NOT want a Magic School Story, but we just breezed right on by Nehal learning how to use her power. She took one class and was The Best At Weaving. I like her drive as a character and that people do call her out for being brash, but honestly? I don't think she's selfish! She's a little out of touch in terms of her wealth and reputation, but she's not as selfish as her mother makes her think she is!!

Nico sucks. Giorgina my girl you can do soooo much better. The guy won't stop asking you to be his concubine no matter how many times you say no. Dump him lmao I dont care how progressive he is. HE'S the selfish one. Its just hes the best this world has in terms of men. So. Slim pickings

I think my biggest complaint is I could easily find this plot and characters in a YA novel and I did not want to read a YA novel. I mentioned before, I'm trying to be aware about that Feeling when the book is by a woman, especially a woman of color, and deals with diversity and civil rights. There IS a problem with people calling those books YA despite ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING YA (poppy war lmao, babel, night circus) but this is on the cusp i think much like Bone Season is. And in the same way, leans too heavily on that YA side. The useless parents (adults in YA), love triangles (I feel like this one can resolve in a way id like tbh, though i wish itd go the iron widow route lol), emotional immaturity (trying very hard to remember being 22 and how emotionally immature i still was but my god i was not Like This). The bones are here, the meat is missing.

Something I DID enjoy though was Giorgina wasnt seen as weak for keeping her head down!! Yeah Nehal looked down on her sometimes, but the narrative didn't. Nehal learned sometimes you have to do things quietly and Giorgina learned sometimes you have to be loud. It was a good duality! And something that bugged me a LOT about Girls of Paper and Fire. So for real this book wasnt All Bad! I might even grab the sequel from the library eventually. It just. Was disappointing.