#my presentation my car my bf my friends etc etc i only have so much brain space so please bear with me and be understanding

[spearxwind]

btw if you sent an ask or a DM in the past few weeks and I havent gotten to it yet i am so sorry but it may still be a hot minute until i do due to irl stuff + my mental health

dont worry im doing fine ive just been heavily prioritizing irl stuff and i have accidentally let DMs and such build up so I will try to pick away at them when the hectic weeks stop coming

[itgirlification]

supermodel (2) | jjk

your story with jungkook never seems to end, yet you’re still worried about how it’s gonna end.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: TOXIC (i cannot stress this enough shit is hella toxic), yn is kinda (very) dumb, jungkook is an actual asshole, borderline mental abuse, infidelity, more insecuritiiiies, mentions/hints of sex, etc.

part one part three

There you were in his arms again, with only your panties and his shirt on.

At this point, you couldn’t even explain yourself. You were guilty, but you know what they say; love hurts.

With his arms wrapped around you and you clinging to him like that, you couldn’t care less about what was gonna happen next. You knew you were probably gonna have a mental breakdown when you go back to the dorms but for now, you were okay.

After he came over that night, he contacted you again. He said he didn’t want this to be serious, he wanted it to be a solely sexual relationship.

“You know, you’re the first girl I’ve been with, who seems to like getting hurt and degraded”, he sighs against your hair. “Sometimes I feel like you can’t get enough of it.”

You stayed silent. What were you supposed to do anyway? Tell him he’s right and stay like this for a while or react defensively and start an endless argument? You chose the first one.

“You’re the only woman that’d let me do all this stuff and still love me. Maybe that’s why I came back to you.”

Holding back the tears, you cling closer to his larger body, as if you were using him as some kind of shield. He thought you were an easy target and forgiving. What else would a man want from a woman he was only interested in fucking, a side piece? Even if she’s in love with him, she was gonna ignore that just to spend as much time with him as possible.

“It’s not like you actually came back.”, you responded, keeping your voice as stable as you could. “We’re just fucking.”

Jungkook sighed deeply, most likely noticing your petty undertone. “Don’t be like that. We aren’t fucking right now.”

You weren’t sure what point exactly he was trying to prove, you agreed to be his side chick. Did he think you didn’t know what a side chick was supposed to do? Because you did know, you just secretly thought you guys were meant to be, you weren’t just some side piece.

Looking around the motel room, your stomach began feeling weird. He wasn’t usually cheap, but you guessed he thought a side chick didn’t deserve a better environment than a cheap motel room rent for a night.

“Because we literally just did.”, you calmly said. You weren’t trying to piss him off.

But Jungkook wasn’t having it. Out of nowhere, he shoved you aside and put his hands over his face, noticeably frustrated.

“What happened?”, you weren't sure if asking that was the best option.

Jungkook turns his body to you. “What happened?? You keep on fucking me up and being a bitch about all this and you ask me what happened?”

He was so furious, his eyes were dark and his face was screwed up. You were now both standing, his tall figure towering over yours.

You saw his hand forming a fist and it would’ve been a lie if you said you weren’t terrified. He hasn’t touched you once throughout your relationship, but you never know.

“I didn’t even say anything. Maybe you’re just a little too sensitive.”, you were pouring salt on a wound at this point, but you didn’t want to be weak and let him talk to you like that.

“Me, sensitive?”, his tone was dangerously serene, as he leaned closer to your face. “If I wasn’t here with you, you'd probably still be crying over me. And you know where I’d be? Laying in bed with the beautiful model I have the privilege to call my girlfriend. Yn, I don’t need you. Don’t get bold with me, ‘cause we both know who’s gonna be heartbroken in the end.”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes, what did you get yourself into again? This wasn’t Jungkook’s fault, this wasn’t anybody’s fault but yours. You should’ve never opened up, you should’ve never said yes to being his side piece, you should’ve never been his girlfriend, to begin with. You stayed silent, but your loud sniffs and your uneven breathing said more than you could at the moment.

“I’m leaving.”, he announced coldly before throwing his black leather jacket over his broad shoulders, leaving you half-naked, crying on the poor-quality motel bed you just had sex on. When he got out of the motel room, you looked outside of the small window, watching him leave in the car he drove you here with.

Now, you had no other option than to call Jane to pick you up since your dorm was a half an hour walk away from the motel and you didn’t have the energy to walk for even a minute.

You weren’t sure if you had the energy for all the questions Jane was gonna ask you when she sees your mascara smeared face and your messy hair. Not to mention the motel. You weren’t a motel type of girl and she knew that.

Still, you called her and she answered almost immediately. “Yn? What happened? I thought you were gonna sleepover at your parents’?”

Sleepover at your parents’ house? You had almost forgotten the bad lie you told Jane just to have sex with Jungkook in this cheap-ass motel. And to think you were convinced you two were gonna stay the whole night.

“Uh”, you quickly coughed to cover up the voice cracks you got from crying. “Yeah, it’s a long story, please pick me up. I’ll text you the address.”

About 10 minutes later, Jane arrived and looked at you like you were out of your mind when you got into the car. “Yn, what the fuck? I was so worried about you. And this isn’t your parents’ house, this is a fucking motel. Did you meet a guy? Did he do something to you? Should I call the cops?”

“No, no, no, oh my god, please don’t”, you knew she was gonna ask a lot of questions. “I lied to you. So what actually happened was me and Jungkook reconnected an-“

She rolled her eyes. “Of course it was Jungkook. So I’m guessing he left you here?”

You hesitantly nodded.

“So when were you gonna tell me you ‘reconnected’ with him? When did you even ‘reconnect’ with him?”, she mockingly asked you. You weren’t blaming her for being pissed off, you’d have been too in this situation.

“A month ago? I think..”, you muttered.

“Hm”, Jane nodded, sighing at your naivety. “And when did he even break up with his model chick?”

You awkwardly looked away and Jane was hoping it wasn’t because of what she thought.

“He didn’t break up with her??”, Jane was beyond frustrated. “So.. you’re like his side chick now? Are we gonna stoop that low for men, yn?”

Jane always wanted the best for you and you knew she knew what was the best for you too, you were just too foolish. And too in love with a man you can’t force into loving you again.

“I know but please can we not talk about this right now? I just don’t feel like it.”, you asked, looking down on your fingers, ashamed of yourself.

“Alright, I’m sorry, babe.”, Jane hugged your side quickly, before starting the engine and heading back to the dorm. “You know I just want what’s best for you.”

You nodded, looking out of the window with your head full.

_

“Bella just texted me and said her birthday party will be 90s themed? Can’t she be a little more specific?”, Jane barged into the room, looking down on her phone in disbelief.

Bella was a person you two met at college in one of your shared classes. She was a sweetheart, but she was a little spoiled too. The only reason why she got into the college was that her rich daddy bribed them, but you couldn’t be mad, your parents would’ve done the same if they had the money.

She was extremely extroverted, a people person. She probably never had a boring day in her life with all the parties she threw whenever her dad and his 20 something-year-old girlfriend were on vacation or business trips. She even had some celebrity friends and would just casually post selfies with them on her Instagram story like it was a normal thing to do. She was basically living the dream, clueless about what real life for others really was about.

Jane had a love-hate relationship with Bella ever since they met. She thought Bella was a nice girl, but it was ‘unbearable’ to have a conversation with her because she was too self-centered to talk about anything else than herself.

You shrugged. “Just wear something Aaliyah would’ve worn.”

“Hm. Fair enough. It’s really not all that deep, actually.”, She said. “So what are you gonna wear?”

“I don’t even know if I’m going, Bella’s parties are boring.”, you answered honestly.

You really weren’t sure if you’d go. You did feel like seeing people and having a little fun but it wasn’t like you ever had fun at any of Bella’s parties. One time, a guy puked all over a new dress you bought just for the party, and another time, you were forced to drink 4 beer bottles. You hated beer.

“Why not? It’s gonna be fun and you’re coming.”, she decided for you, making you playfully roll your eyes. “And wear that black latex dress, I haven’t seen it on you in forever.”

To say that Jane was a fashionista would be an understatement. She was too invested in fashion to be bothered with anything else.

“Alright, but only if we don’t stay for long.”, you tried to compromise with her.

She nodded. “We gotta buy her presents though. Is there even anything she doesn’t have?”

You sighed, annoyed. “C’mon, there’s gonna be at least 200 people at that party, it’s not like she’ll notice if we just don’t get her anything. Besides, she’s rich as fuck.”

Jane snickered at your comment. “Girl, you must not know her, she checks every damn person and probably throws them out if they don’t buy her a Chanel bag or something. Bitch is a little crazy.”

It was amusing because you both knew that was exaggerated. Bella wasn't that serious about gifts. But let’s just say, for the money that her dad had, she was a little too greedy.

But you were too bothered with your own life than to worry about other's.

_

As soon as you arrived at Bella’s mansion, two security guards were standing in front of the door. They let you in as you showed them your invitations. It was a little bit extra, but that’s just how Bella was.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the house was the smell of sweat and weed. Already? You weren’t really surprised though.

Bella was standing there, wearing a skintight red dress that, ironically, didn’t really fit her own party’s theme. But she did look absolutely beautiful greeting her guests with the biggest smile on her glowing face. She had her strawberry blonde hair down in elegant beach curls and there were some cute butterfly clips placed in them.

You could recognize that it was her birthday from miles away. She was basically shining.

“Oh my god, Jane, Yn!! I’m so happy to see you guys!”, an overly keen Bella came, hugging you both with strength. “Oh, I see you got me something, girls you know you shouldn’t have!”

She tried hiding her smile at the bags in your hands, freeing the two of you from them immediately.

“It’s your birthday, Bella. We can’t just come here without any gifts, girl.”, Jane smiled. “Happy birthday.”

You looked to your side, admiring Jane’s acting skills. “Happy birthday, Bella! I can’t believe you’re 23 now.”

“I know right, if you were a year younger, you’d be as old as your dad’s girlfriend.”, Jane joked around, making Bella hysterically laugh.

“C’mon, almost everybody’s here already”, Bella excitedly pushed you towards the living room.

The room’s stench was even more unbearable than the one at the entrance, leaving you covering your nose for a second leaving out an ‘oof’.

The 90s trap music was heard extremely loudly through the whole house and there were people dancing and grinding. There were some couples that sat on one of the many couches, acting like they were in their own little world. It wasn’t very pleasant to watch, but you just chose to ignore it. The stench was something you couldn’t ignore though.

You were already bored out of your mind.

A few minutes of pure boredom and dry conversations passed then the music stopped playing and you could hear Bella’s voice calling for everybody’s attention. “I’m gonna open the presents now, so everybody come here and Daphne, please bring the gifts here so I can open them.”

Daphne was Bella’s personal maid. She never really talked, but she did everything she needed to. She brought all the bags to Bella one by one and you could’ve sworn she was trying not to cry out of happiness.

“Oh my god, Jackson”, She cried out as she pulled a pair of Saint Laurent shoes out of a box. “These are so beautiful. You even got the right size. Thank you so mu-“

“Bella, I’m so sorry we’re late, we had to run some errands”, a soft-spoken voice interrupted, making everybody in the room turn her way, just to see the charming model with none other than Jeon Jungkook by her side. Wow.

As soon as you turned your head to see who it was, you turned back around, looking at Jane to make sure she saw what you saw. You sent her a questioning, almost panicking look just for her to shrug.

“Yuki! It’s fine, girl. Come here, I’m opening my presents right now.”, The birthday girl exclaimed, making Yuki immediately hand her her gift.

Jungkook was just walking behind his girlfriend, making no type of noise whatsoever and you prayed he wouldn’t see you.

They sat down at an angle where you couldn’t help but look at them though and you were sure he looked at you for a split second as well. They looked beautiful together.

Bella just continued opening gifts and thanking everybody dearly, but you weren’t paying attention to that. You just zoned out for most of it. Those were a lot of gifts she got.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance at your ex-boyfriend and the girl besides him.

She looked even cuter in real life. Her cheeks had a natural blush to them and her hair was long and healthy. She was thin and her skin tone was warm and even.

You’ve always been insecure about your hyperpigmentation, but she didn’t seem to have any problems with how she looked. She was near damn perfect. Perfect wasn’t real, but if it was, it’d be her.

Jungkook probably never had a problem introducing her to his parents or his friends. You always felt like he had difficulties with that while he was dating you. He just wasn’t confrontational enough to tell you he was ashamed to have you as his girlfriend.

You seemed to be stuck in your place while everybody else was either dancing or making conversation.

Jane was sitting next to you, talking to a girl with blond box braids about a new movie that recently came out. You heard what they were saying, but it sounded like a foreign language to you since you weren’t focused.

“Yn? Are you okay?”, Jane whispered in your ear, hugging your shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were invited.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine, Jane. It’s not your fault, I just kind of wanna go home.”

She looked at you apologetically. “Can’t we stay for a little while? I promise it won’t take long, I’m just actually having fun here.”

You had to admit you were being selfish, not just in that moment, but whenever it came to Jungkook. You’ve dragged Jane through all of your shit and never really thought about how she must feel like.

Nodding in response to her. “I’m gonna get myself something to drink.”

You finally stood up from your place, looking around unsure, feeling like you’re taking up so much space wherever you go, even when you were doing absolutely nothing.

You wore the latex dress, but only because Jane insisted and made sure you knew you looked good. She convinced you for maybe a second, but all those insecurities were coming back. You tried sucking in your stomach the whole night, but it just wasn’t enough.

You were asking yourself all kinds of questions. If your arms looked too fat and if your cellulite was visible, if your hip-dips were as noticeable to others as they were to you. You felt like everybody was looking and they were judging really hard.

All you wanted was to fade into oblivion.

You were feeling his eyes on your back and god, you wanted to look too but you fought the urge, just continued walking to the bathroom. You weren’t in the mood to drink after all.

Your gut feeling was telling you he was following, but you ignored it.

Until you were about to close the bathroom door and you saw black timberlands stepping between the door and the doorframe to stop you from closing it.

You sighed, opening the door, resulting in him getting in the bathroom with you.

“Why are you avoiding me?”, the handsome man facing you asked, brown eyes looking deep inside of yours.

“How can I avoid you when you didn’t even try talking to me?”, you asked back, looking away immediately.

You hated how your relationship was just a cycle of him hurting you and coming back, acting like he hadn’t done anything wrong. And he was so good at it too.

He chuckled darkly, letting his eyes glide down your body for a second just to look back into your eyes. “You know exactly what I mean, yn. Don’t play dumb.”

You did know what he meant.

“And? It’s not like I have anything to say to you.”

Jungkook came closer to you, softly wrapping one arm around your waist, whispering in your ear. “You don’t?”

You couldn’t believe how shameless he was, being so close to you while his girlfriend was a few meters away, outside of this door, probably thinking he’s getting her a drink or something. You wondered if he did the same thing to you when you were dating.

“Jungkook, stop. Your girlfriend is here.”, you tried to convince yourself you didn’t want it. “How can you even do this?”

“It’s nothing we haven’t done before, princess.”, He kissed your earlobe. “You can’t possibly think it’s okay when she’s not around, but not okay when she is. It’s the same thing.”

You knew he was right, besides, you were just as guilty as he was. You were messing around with a taken guy and the worst part was, you knew he was taken and you still did it.

“I know, but I wanna end whatever this is”, you hesitated to say. “It’s unhealthy and you already have a girlfriend, why don’t you go and kiss her, why me?”

You were avoiding this conversation ever since this started. Sometimes it’s hard talking about things you don’t actually want to hear about.

“What do you mean?”, Jungkook feigned confusion, but you knew better than to believe him. “It’s easier said than done, yn. We have a history together, you know that.”

“I do, but that’s all we are. History. And we should both get over it.”, you responded.

“But what if I don’t want to?”, it was more of a statement than a question, really. “What if I told you, you’re special to me?”

You were gonna have a meltdown if he continued with this. Why was he so fucking complicated? You knew he didn’t love you so what was it?

“But I’m not. The only reason why you come back is because you think I’m easy material. It’s because you were my first everything and it’s because you know exactly how much you mean to me.”, you cry out, tears coming up to ruin your makeup again. You wished you wouldn’t cry as much as you did. “You know I’ll always let you in, no matter what. I know I’m at fault too here and I’m not blaming you, but please for god’s sake, don’t make it worse on me.”

You looked in the mirror, almost not recognizing yourself. You felt detached from reality, but not in a good way at all.

Jungkook scoffed, looking down at you. “I know I shouldn’t have tried talking to you. It’s like you can’t even appreciate anybody showing you affection. I’m trying to prove to you, that you aren’t nothing to me and that’s the response that I get. Not everybody’s against you, yn, you’re just too insecure to notice. That’s why you haven’t ever had anybody showing you interest. It’s because you lack confidence and think the world revolves around you. But I did show you interest. In the past and now. But look at you. You haven’t changed at all, still the little yn who compares herself to other girls and thrives off of male attention, because you can’t believe that somebody could love you just for you when there’s skinnier, prettier girls walking around. So what if there are skinnier, prettier girls around? That’s reality, yn.”

You didn’t know what exactly you expected him to say, but that wasn’t it. Looking at him with big, teary eyes, is that really what he thought of you? Of course, it was. Because it was the truth. The cold, hard truth. Not sugarcoated. He knew you better than you wanted him to.

Without a single word leaving your dry lips, you open the door and run out, ignoring him calling your name and the weird stares people were giving you. You needed to find Jane.

Once you found her joking around with a bunch of random people, you go up to her. You most likely looked like you came out of a horror movie.

“Yn? What the fuck happened?”, she lightly took your face in her warm hands and caressed your cheek worriedly.

“Pl- please, can we just go home?”, you whimpered, thankful that everybody was respectful enough to turn around and focus on their stuff instead of ogling at you.

“Sure, sure. Come here”, she took you in her arms and walked you out of the mansion, not caring to say goodbye to anybody.

_

people who wanted to get tagged in pt. 2:

@1-in-abillion @sarcasmflowsinmyveins @chieftoadturkeynickel @madygswich @kb-bangtanenthusiast

thank you for the support love yall!! 💗

a/n: so i know most of yall probably wanted a happy ending but first of all this probably isn’t the ending:) and i wanted to portray it as realistically as possible. It’s really hard to get out of a toxic relationship especially when you’re so in love with them but i’ll see what i can do to make yn happy cuz girly’s going thru it. Btw this wasn’t proofread so there’s probably so many mistakes and i thought this was very underwhelming but i hope you guys like it thank you!

[sukikorra]

tagged by: @louvegoods thank you so much hahah i love these tag games so muchhhhh 💘💘💘

questions n answers under the cut!

what is the color of your hairbrush? purple

name a food you never eat: seafood

are you typically too warm or too cold? always too warm

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching friends and eating dinner

what’s your favorite candy bar? butterfingers or reeses

have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes! orlando city soccer and usmnt 

what’s the last thing you said out loud? “can you get me some ice cream?”

what’s your favorite ice cream? anything with peanut butter and chocolate

what was the last thing you had to drink? blueberry green tea

do you like your wallet? yes! it’s attached to my lanyard with a bunch of keychains (including pepper spray bc ah. womanhood) and its very cute and colorful

what’s the last thing you ate? cheezits 

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? hahah nope

what’s the last sporting event you watched? bundesliga soccer, can’t remember who was playing though 

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? white cheddar 

who’s the last person you sent a text message to? my boyfriend

ever go camping? yes but at fort wilderness so not really lmao

do you take vitamins? yep!

do you go to church every sunday? lmao nah

do you have a tan? yes! thank god for summertime

do you prefer chinese or pizza? probably pizza but chinese is a very very close second

do you drink soda through a straw? i don’t really drink soda, but i guess when i do its through a straw 

what color socks do you usually wear? all different kinds, my favs have lil blue pufferfish on them!

do you ever drive above the speed limit? only if i have to and it drives my bf crazy that i don’t speed lmao

what terrifies you? being kidnapped....once again, ah, womanhood

look to your left, what do you see? my backyard

what chore do you hate most? doing the dishes

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? steve irwin and also 5sos

what’s your favorite soda? a gas station by my house has peach mello yello that’s pretty good so probably that

do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive through? drive thru

what’s your favorite number? 24 or 11

who’s the last person you talked to? my brother

favorite cut of beef? i guess ground beef hahah

last song you listened to? wildflower by five seconds of summer

last book you read? house of earth and blood by sarah j maas (it was so mf good)

favorite day of the week? typically, saturdays but at this point everyday feels the same

can you say the alphabet backwards? absolutely not hahah

how do you like your coffee? i kinda like it every way? but cold brews/espresso tend to be my go to 

favorite pair of shoes? my rain boots, they’re blue and grey and so adorable

time you normally get up? noon bc who even has a sleep schedule anymore

sunrise or sunsets? sunset

how many blankets on your bed? just the one

describe your kitchen plates? they’re just plain white ikea ones

describe your kitchen at the moment? somewhat clean

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? my cousin makes this mixed drink with tequila, champagne, and a few different fruit juices (i think grapefruit and strawberry lemonade but i cant remember) and its the best thing ever

do you play cards? if the occasion presents itself but i’m ass at it

what color is your car? technically maroon but it honestly looks dark purple and i love it

can you change a tire? yep!

your favorite state/province/county etc? uhhh i don’t really have one so i guess florida since its my home state hahah

favorite job you’ve had? working at the pet rescue was the best and most therapeutic experience

how did you get your biggest scar? lmao i have a busted knee and i was icing it and fell asleep w the ice pack on it and woke up to a MASSIVE freezer burn, very unfortunate

tagging: @ahsokaanakins @cosmicholland @calmholland @hollandsamor @starkissedholland @ahsokafano @tonkystarky @acotars @stealth-spiderr and anyone else who wants to !!!! 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #270

“please remain calm; the end has arrived. we cannot save you; enjoy the ride.”

Do you own pastel-colored pants? No. What type of lotion do you use? I don't really use it. Nothing seems to help how dry my skin is. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pastel pink, but realistically (given a pink car would probably have a paint job I'd have to pay for, I assume?), I like burnt orange cars. Not too brown-ish, though. What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot? Pink, probably not, and no. Name someone you know who hates pink. Idk. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home." Do you kill bugs? Sometimes. Depends. If they're in my house, most likely. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? No. Do you own any rompers? No. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? I made a birdhouse out of a milk carton once. Animal Planet taught me lol. Do you use window clings (aka window stickers)? No. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? Ugh, no, but that's one reason I want to move to somewhere I have a bigger room for a desk so I don't do everything in my damn bed. What do you miss about college? Feeling like I was worth something and on a "proper" path. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. What is/was your dream school? I never had a "dream" school. Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who? Idk, probably someone. What motivates you? Music and/or videos on whatever subject I could use motivation in, like self-care on my bad days. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. Tried, though. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I went through a doctor appointment entirely without Mom just a few days ago; she had to stay in the car due to chemo, so I filled stuff out, checked in/out alone, answered questions on my own, that business. I'm entirely aware it's sad as hell that a 24 y/o did that for the first time, but if you knew just how dependent I am on my mom, you'd get it. Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Valentine's when I actually have someone to celebrate with, but I love Easter as an aunt with how excited the kids are about candy and all. Easter sorta rubs me the wrong way though since, y'know, Christianity essentially stole and rebuilt it. Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I myself don't even decorate. Mom only does for Christmas, and it's very last minute. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? I don't drink Starbucks. What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? *checks phone* uh the one where I'm wearing a red tank top is okay. That's all you can see cuz FUCK taking full-body pics of me. What’s on your wish list right now? Ha, I actually have a list in my phone of things I really want/need to buy when I can. A few include a bigger terrarium to Venus, a treadmill, an Unus Annus shirt before the channel and thus merch expire, glasses for driving... What do you use to sweeten your tea? I don't drink tea. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, I don't wear enough colors or makeup in general to warrant buying one. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? The aforementioned doctor visit. How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high? Low as like, the deepest oceanic trench probs. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yeah. Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary. Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Only ever to just be a goth to live out my inner fantasy of regularly flaunting that aesthetic. Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Not particularly. Would you rather it rain or snow? Snow! What does your umbrella look like? Don't have one. What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic? I'm guessing probably yes. Even though parts of it were entirely realistic, understandable reactions/behaviors, I most definitely had some toxicity in me regarding the breakup, too. Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? Uggghhhh, both are so cute. On me, I'd only ever wear tunic tops, but on others, I tend to find cropped tops cuter. What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don't pay enough attention to this to really know... hm. Yeah, idk. Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? I could only dream of being as motivated and smart and determined and "I can do this shit" as Markiplier jfc I Love One Man Only. Do you like stuffed animals? EEEEEEEEK yes!!!! What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes; not to brag whatsoever, but too many for me to remember. I remember I got my very first B in 5th grade in I think math, and I was so bummed out. Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I don't think so. Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? I'm content-ish, not happy, but also not unhappy. Is your bed right by a window? There's one to my upper right and middle left, but my bed's not exactly against either. Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room? I barely leave my bedroom. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween, if I actually did decorate. Do you name stuffed animals still? Very rarely. Depends on what it is, the importance, etc. What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I FUCKIN READ THIS AS "TITTIES" AND WAS JUST LIKE... Anyway, none. Were you popular in school? No. If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Only NC. Who was your best roommate? Well, Jason, if he even counted as a "roommate." Was your first roommate your best roommate? See above, considering idk if he fits the term; if he does, then yes. What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Disney World. Have you ever wanted to be a model? No. What years did you attend prom? Sophomore (bf was a senior and he took me) and senior. What do you want to be for Halloween? I was recently listening to a metal version of Oogie Boogie's song from TNBC and it hit me: MISS Oogie Boogie. A fat bitch could pull that shit off, watch me ho. Which member of your family are you closest to? My mom. If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets? Letting a boy become absolutely all that mattered and more to me. Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why? Ew, no. I don't need any more people judging me and my life. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program that saved my life, literally. Do you have a hard time letting things go? It depends on what it is, but generally, yes. I recently realized one of my greatest flaws: I respond very, very poorly to loss, in any way. Looking back on people (especially people), events, other things... a negative, chronic reaction to loss is present throughout. What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy? Emotionally healed, a lot. I don't think some things will ever fully scar over, but nevertheless, I don't mentally have fuckin gashes in me. Have you ever struggled with your weight? Ever since the breakup, yes. I thought I was slightly fat before then, but looking at pictures now, I just think "damn hunny u look gud" and realize I was perfectly healthy. But anyway, I was put on a medication called Abilify (full-on name droppin', fuck this med), and it MURDERED my metabolism. I could eat a fuckin carrot and gain five pounds, probably. Emotional eating probably contributed too, but here's the thing: my current doctor took me off of it, knowing the moment I mentioned it that it was not only bad for me and my conditions but also responsible for the extreme weight gain? Pounds dropped like a ton of bricks, and this started before my emotional eating began to die off and regulate. I lost around 80 pounds just from dropping a goddamn pill. Cue college essay-long rant here about how my body image was slaughtered, how much I loathe the fucking doc that kept me on the med and blamed everything on me, and now how I've been stuck weight-wise for two years despite a vast plethora of methods to continue shedding a;sdlkfajkwlelawe GUYS I could rant til my hypothetical great-grandchildren die. When you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? It depends on who the friend is, where we are, etc., but generally, I'm just awkward, trying to be outgoing when in fact I'm questioning every single thing I say and do al;wekjrkawde this survey has taken a TURN. Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? I don't leave my pj's unless I have to leave the house and go inside somewhere besides like, a gas station or something that's just "whatever." In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch? I wouldn't say a *lot*, no, but not a tiny amount, either. The only one I ever still see is Girt, but I keep up with many on Facebook via the like button and shit, ha. Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming? Fuck yes I do. Who is the biggest womanizer you know? Juan sure was, but I haven't been in contact with him for years. Would you ever have a threesome? No. Who is the most attractive person you know? Of those I personally know-know, my answer will probably always be Alon like jc she's beautiful. When did you last feel the most free? ZOINKS we can't ask that question in America rn. Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you? I don't know. Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong? Love? No. Well, before I realized I was bi, maybe Mini counts, as then I was anti-LGBT and couldn't even imagine myself as anything but straight. What’s your favorite bug? Butterflies. What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for? Yeesh... I still can't say with absolute confidence I no longer love Jason at all, whom I started dating in 2012 and went head over heels for. What song makes you cry? There's a few that are capable of it sometimes, but do fucking not play "Stairway To Heaven" if I'm within 10 miles of you. "Another Life" by MiW usually makes me tear up towards the end, but it normally doesn't get that far anymore. Do you like rock or rap music better? Rock, as I'm not a rap fan. If you could watch someone change, would you? Yes let me live my life a;lsdkfjaws Ever known someone with an eating disorder? I don't know. I think maybe? Have you ever had a white Christmas? I think? The best snow we ever got was late Christmas night though, and the next morning was a total whiteout. What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet? Hm. Idk. I'm pretty sure of most things I want to do. Biggest lie you ever told? I'm not entirely sure and I'd rather not search for one. Do you have a religion? I don't fit perfectly into any. I relate most with Neo-Paganism, but even that I deviate from some. Believe that there is a point to churches? I mean sure, people have the right to believe in/worship what they want to, and some people get a lot of joy and reassurance out of going. How do eat Oreos? "I split them in half and lick the cream before eating the cookie." <<<< Converse or Vans? Idc. Eh, maybe Converse, but idk. Dancing or watching others dance? I love watching others dance, it's why I enjoyed dance recitals and competitions. Favorite thing to touch/feel? My cat! <3 Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? Both would be horrifying, but I guess earthquake. I've had an outrageous fear of tornadoes since I was very little. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa, duh. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Start a fight, I guess. Trying to sully someone's name with false information would haunt me way more than starting an understandable fight. What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why? I don't know. What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they? Uhhh I think maybe butterflies? Idk, even that's not too weird considering it's an insect, and that's common. I'm personally absolutely terrified of pregnancy and also whale sharks scare me quite a bit. ig that's weird. How did you find Tumblr? lol how could you not know at some point as a teen on the Internet. What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any? I had to look them up lmao. I guess the Great Pyramid of Giza. I in general find Egyptian culture and art to be very cool. Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for? I mean, it's built into the laptop. I never use it. What is something that you think is really underrated? The band Otep, for one. I mean they're not small, but I don't think most people interested in the metal genre know them. OH and then there are A LOT of YouTube artists that MADLY deserve to be signed. I have a large chunk of metal musicians I listen to, and those especially like Jonathan Young blow my fucking mind they haven't technically "made it," even if they have a large subscriber base. Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it? Yes, a few. Now hang with me, okay? One of my worst nightmares as a kid involved the wicked witch from TWoO turning me into one of those fucking party things that you blow into it and the paper unfurls and her using it killed me. Yo idk. I was really scared of that witch as a kid. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic? It involved my dad and that's all that needs to be said. Realistic? Hm. This was SO long ago that I barely remember *just* how real it felt, but I remember it felt real as fuck. I was very little when this happened. I dreamed that I went outside to our porch because there was a weird light and when I stepped outside, a swan and a goose flew down from the light onto the porch to become my late grandpa and my deeply beloved cat Midnight, who died from sickness. I'm sure it was just a dream now, but back then, I was VERY convinced it was like a vision from God or something, telling me they were okay and with us. Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what? What do you think was the worst fashion trend of all time? I don't care about fashion enough to go in depth about all this. I'll tell you right now though that mullets were the worst mistake known to mankind. Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake? If you're remaking an old one, I'll probably like it more since they're generally not nearly as cheesy. Modern horror movies, I don't have much of a preference. My fave is The Blair Witch Project, and it's an original. What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics? Those that act violent when they're angry, for one. Those scare me. Some traits that I really like are compassion, patience, genuineness, empathy, kindness just for the sake of being so, stuff like that. I'd like to think I've got some of those. It's notable that in my nightmares, I'm way more violent than I actually am, though. What kind of jeans do you like best? When I actually wore jeans, they were like solely skinny jeans. What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup after a long-term relationship and falling way, way too hard to be healthy. Does it still bother me? PTSD is stapled on my fucking forehead if you know the slightest about it. I've healed a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure it's a scar that's never going to even fully seal.

[jackr4bb1t]

a quiz thingy

?This is seriously going to get personal, you ready? yes

?If you were caught cheating, would you fess up? i wouldn't be cheating. :") but when i was a young dumb kid who did, i immediately confessed ksjdhfkjsdhf

?The last time you felt honestly broken? um idk yesterday or the day before i dont remember when that was because time is all blurring together now

?Are you craving something? yessss

?If you could have one thing right now what would it be? kat

?Would you rather have ten kids, or none? NONE!!!!!!!!!

?What do you hear right now? bf typing and bitching loudly

?Is your bed against more than one of your walls? yes (two)

?What’s on your mind right now? "What's on your mind right now?"

?Are you there for your friends? no :")

?Last person to see you cry? sjdkhfkjsdhfjshdfkjshdfkjh kat :")

?What do you do when you get nervous? uhhhh idk skdjhfkjsdhf I just kinda get really quiet and clammed up B') i dunno how to describe it. and it really depends on the context.

?Be honest, do you like people in general? i think my answer actually might be yes??

?How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? it is absolutely never going to happen under any circumstance

?Does anyone completely understand you? i think my answer actually might be yes??

?Do you have a reason to smile right now? i'm literally smiling right now because kat is saying some dumb shit thats cracking me up as im trying to type this skjdfhksjdfh

?Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? yeahksjdhsudjfh

?Do you tell your mum or dad everything? ABSOLUTELY NOT LMAO

?Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes? like cigarettes?? yeah idk i find the smell pretty gross so it's definitely something i'd prefer not to have to smell all the time kjsdhfkjdhsf

?Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone uhhhh I SURE HOPE NOT

?This time last year, can you remember who you liked? ksdjfhskjdfh pretty much no one. i was actually mostly single for a couple of years there. for the first time in my life i went completely without any serious romantic interest and focused on myself instead. it was an interesting experience.

?Do you think more about the past, present, or future? definitely future skjdhfjkshdf i hardly ever think about the past or even the present

?How many hours of sleep do you get a night? thankfully most nights i get a solid 7-8. sometimes i'll only get like 5. but other nights i'll get like 10. the majority of the time though, it's in the 7-8 range.

?Are you easy to get along with? yes

?Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? no

?What was the last drink that you put in your mouth? water

?What size bed do you have? queen

?Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? before wtf

?Do you like the rain? yes as long as i'm not in it kjsdhfjdf. (but i'm fine being in it if it's light.)

?Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? in this exact moment genuinely no skjdhfjhd (unless by some brief passing coincidence)

?Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do lots ksjdhfj

?Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither? probably neither? i think/hope?

?Who were you last in the car with, besides family? uhhHHHhhhhhHH JIM

?What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who? CATS WITH KAT OR MAYBE IT WAS SONIC???? i cant remember which order we saw those in skdjfhkjsdfh

?Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend? i'm actually pretty sure the answer to this is no so like sjdfksjdhfj wow yay i did it

?Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? yep

?Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party? jsdkhfkjsd no, i never did any such thing. although i would have people over that i wasn't supposed to.

?Do you regret a past relationship? all of them

?Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party? why are those my only options -sobs- IT DEPENDS ON MY MOOD SKJDHFJKSDHF I GUESS I'LL PICK THE CONCERT CUZ IT SEEMS LESS SOCIAL B'D AND I AM SURE THERE ARE QUITE A FEW BANDS/SINGERS THAT WOULD BE REALLY COOL TO SEE LIVE.

?Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? i definitely used to ksjdhfkjdshf and i was barking up the wrong tree the entire time

?Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry? I really hope not skjdfhsjdkfh I've never been the "roasting" type idk sdjfh I've never really like... poked fun at people idk that type of humour has never really been funny to me? idk how to word what i'm trying to say ksjdfhjsdfh basically I just don't really ever make jokes about people because I don't find that type of humour to be entertaining.

?Do you care too much about your appearance? i care about it a LOT less than i used to but i still hate myself kjsdfhgkjfdg so i suppose that is an indication that i care too much

?Are you a jealous person? romantically? yes. literally any other context? no

?Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? no

?Do you miss anyone? yes :(

?Last person who made you cry? uhhhhhh

?Does your ex piss you off? no skjdfhsjkd

?What are you doing tomorrow? just some stupid bullshit chores/errands/etc. woo hoooo.

?Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week? lmao no (although i was sorta like that in high school sdlkfjhksdjfh)

?Is there anyone you want to come see you? yes

?Have you ever been cheated on? yes

?Ever given your all to someone who walked away? not really

?Do you like cotton candy? yes as a treat

?Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? kat

?Do you have siblings? yes

?Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? yes

?How has the past week been for you? hell

?Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? i dont really have friends of any sex except for my partner and we are the same sex sex sex sex sex GAY GAY GAY

?What’s on your mind right now? SEX SEX SEX GAY GAY GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX

?What were you doing at midnight last night? IDK PROBABLY CRYYIINGGG oh wait i was at work skdjfhskjfh waiting for jim to be ready to leave he always stays til exactly midnight unlike most people who will leave around 1158 sdkjfhskdjfh HE HAS TO FOLLOW THE RULLLESSS but i don't mind cuz he's giving me a ride which is cool so i don't mind to wait the extra minutes til midnight B) i mean, i am getting paid to be there sooo.

?What is your current mood? NEEDY

?Who was the first person you talked to today? KAT

?Will this week be a good one? YEAH WE'RE GETTING OUR SHIT TOGETHER

?Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'm sure there are things that have happened B')

?Who were you with last night kathel who was horrifying me as i was half asleep. talking at length about how hes gonna get a garfield tramp stamp. -sobs.- i fell asleep to that.

?Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? LMAO BITCH WHAT DID I JUST SAY. YOU STUPID???

?Next time you will kiss someone hopefully not too much longerrrr B(

?Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy? wowza

?Do you have any plans for the weekend? it's monday you fucking whore, i hardly have a plan for what i'm doing in this current present moment let alone several days from now

oh the quiz is over now

[prorevenge]

Friend tries to get me fired, but I turn the tables...

Hey everyone, this is my first post so take it easy on me please! I've tried to keep the story concise, but it's not a strong point of mine so, this is a very long post... Sorry!

TL;DR is at the bottom :)

Context:

I'm a Year 9 student (British schooling system) and go to a very good school. This is a massive privilege to have, and I'm massively thankful for it. Our school has a magazine which we print and distribute to teachers, students and parents, and it is very popular! I am fortunate enough to be the Assistant Editor of the magazine (I basically format and check the magazine, while making sure everyone in the committee is doing well) and it's hard work. As part of this role, I have to teach and mentor the new students and get them used to the new system.

Being in the committee is like having a job, so balancing it with school is tough, and lots of newbies drop out very quick when they begin to realise that they can't handle the work load. I enjoy teaching the new guys, as it's mostly people who love writing as much as I do and it really gives us a connection that does stick around. However, last year, I had a very bad 'mentoree', whom I dislike to this very day...

Cast:

Me - Take a guess WI - Very cool and kind teacher and head editor of the mag AM - Arsehole mentoree BF - One of my best friends

Now, I knew AM before he joined the committee; we were friends, we'd been into town with each other a bit, and we were good mates, so I was excited to be mentoring him. The way mentoring works is that there are 7 tasks to complete and have checked by your mentor, leading up to a big review six weeks after one first joins. The tasks are fairly easy; learn how to Photoshop pictures for the photographers and learning the formatting of the articles to make my life easier :). Now, I teach the mentorees in a way which means that I set them a task (e.g. Task 1) and it has a deadline which I will take in the work, check it, and give feedback on. It works well, and I have always done the mentoring this way.

When I set the first task for AM, I was really confident in his ability. Because we were (and still are) at a really good school, I genuinely believed that he would do it and I'd have no problems. However, as you've probably guessed, I was very wrong. When it was time for his first task to be checked, this happened:

Me: Where's the work, AM?

AM: I wasn't able to do it, Mercent_...

Me: Why? It was a fairly simple task. If you had any problems, I told you to ask me about them.

AM: Well, the thing is... [AM takes a massive breath and I expect the worst] my dad just got in a really bad car accident and I've been at the hospital the past few days.

I was shocked. This guy's dad was in intensive care, and I was ready to give him a hard time for not doing some work. I immediately apologised and almost had a panic attack. I gave him an extra week to do his work. I was a terrible person. I went home and sobbed about how mean I was ready to be. I came in the next day and avoided him as much as possible. At this point, I didn't even suspect at thing. When it came to his second task (and the first task as well) being checked, I was nervous but prepared:

Me: How did you find the work?

AM: I couldn't finish either of them.

At this point, I was just pissed. He'd told me privately that he wasn't in the hospital as much anymore, so I was confused.

Me: Come on, this is starting to get silly. Your review is soon, and you haven't even started the tasks!

AM: Mercent_ it's because my cat got put down. It was really old, and I've had it since birth, so I was really attached to it.

This really made me upset. I have two cats, and I love them to pieces; I couldn't even imagine their death. So I told AM I was sorry, but he needed to either get the work done or take an official break and leave the committee briefly (this gets put on a report which is kept by WI, and it's about the bad things a person in the committee had done). This back and forth of "Work?" "Nope, and here's why..." went on until literally the day before his review. I had sat down with him and spoke to him about how he had not done any of the work and had 6+ hours of work to do for the next day. He was really apologetic, but I had become totally immune to his shenanigans by this point; he'd really ticked me off. By this point, I didn't know if he was lying or not, but I had my suspicions.

Then his review came around; I was terrified. You see, as his mentor, if he does badly, I get in trouble for not doing my job well enough. I am a massive goody-two-shoes. I've never had a detention, and I was petrified of getting one as my parents would not approve. AM, WI and I sit down and when WI asks to see the work, AM says he hasn't got any of it. Before I can interrupt and explain the situation, AM goes on to say that he had handed in all of the work but I had said that none of it was good enough, and threw it all out before the review. WI gave me a death stare. I was crapping bricks.

In my first year of being in the committee, I had lied to WI about doing some work. This had been put on my report and I got screamed at for 15 minutes straight. He said I had delayed printing by over a week, and I was incompetent, etc. (we moved past it and now we enjoy each other's company very much!) and essentially if I made any mistakes, I was getting fired. I looked at AM, shocked about what he'd said, and stuttered to WI the actually situation, and all the lies he'd told me. WI didn't believe me, as not so long ago... I. Had. Lied.

I then made it my absolute mission to prove everything he had told me and WI wrong, but there was one problem; I didn't arrange anything over a traceable source; I hadn't emailed him or texted him, other than on Snapchat, but that deletes messages after being read. It looked like I was going to get fired, and I only had a few days to prove my innocence before I was gone.

​

The Plan (finally!)

That evening, I went into town with some friends (AM wasn't present) and I sat down with BF. She was texting AM on iMessage (a key detail), so I told her what happened about the committee and AM. She was shocked, and believed me over AM. This is when a plan was hatched.

Firstly, I needed evidence, and BF gave me exactly what I needed. She took AM into town on a 'date' as he liked her. She then began a conversation about she heard I was being nominated for an award about my writing for the school magazine (this was actually true, I won an award for England's Young Journalist of the Year and Best Featured Article about my transgender sister #humblebrag). BF then set her phone to record the ENTIRE CONVERSATION! This included AM admitting to screw me over so he could eventually take my position as Assistant Editor. BF then sent this to me, and I stored it on my computer in sweet revenge.

I sent the voice message to WI and he, too, was shocked. He apologised profusely to me and I told him that I didn't want him to fire AM yet and then told him my plan. He was worried, but on board because of what he did to me. I met with AM the next day, to 'apologise' for being too harsh about his tasks, and beg for him to retract his statement about me. He obviously said no. As protocol states, I had to give other members my ongoing articles, and I gave AM my award-winning transgender article and said that I had changed so it was talking about a different girl rather than my sister. However, I actually changed it to make it horribly trans-phobic. Like disgustingly trans-phobic. He thanked me, and left.

The next few weeks, I didn't show up to any meetings and made it seem like I had actually been kicked out, but I stayed aware of the situation in the committee and kept up to date on my articles. Because this was the kind of person he was, AM didn't even read the article I had sent him before he handed it in, so WI received a heavily transphobic and sexist article which AM wrote, supposedly. WI called AM into his room and AM was screamed at for writing such a horrible article, and then played the voice tape back for him so he knew that he'd been caught. The headteacher of the school found out about the article AM had wrote and AM was put in isolation (you get taught on your own in a separate room, where you spend lunch and break, etc.) for a week! He was also fired from the committee immediately, and got a mark on his permanent record.

​

TL;DR - Friend tried to get me in trouble, admitted to it on recording, then got in trouble himself for a while.

​

I hope you enjoyed the story, and if you read the entire thing, you're truly a trooper, cheers! If you've got any burning questions about the post and any intricate details or feedback for me, comment it please! Cheers lads and ladies :)

(source) story by (/u/Mercent_)

[god-hunter]

I feel very stupid...

I have to get this out now, because if I don’t, the feelings will be bottled up forever, with nowhere to go, and I’ll end up taking micro aggressions out in my future interactions wherever I go.

There’s this girl at work who used to be the hot quiet girl that talked to nobody, but was all over her social media.  Eventually we befriended each other.  In her shy way, we kept it to Facebook and barely talked.  But as she would always post funny memes and a random thought about how work sucked, of course I would like them or “love” them, here and there.

We eventually got to talking, but it was very minimal.  I had invited her to join my friend group on breaks, and she politely gave a maybe (which was probably really a no) and I left her with a “you’re always welcome to join us.”

Flash forward to 6 months later, she finally was comfortable enough to finally come out and join us.  Our Break Group had new life as we got to know her, and soon enough she’d be joining us for Happy Hours and stuff.

We all talk to each other, but soon enough an interesting bond formed between us.  I don’t know how...  But she invited me out to a Haunted House thing and no one else could come out, not even my Girlfriend!  But, I third-wheeled it with her and her Boyfriend.  And somehow, it wasn’t as awkward as you’d think.

Flash forward a little later, her and her boyfriend joined the group for drinks again.  I definitely saw some controlling issues happening in their communication at the table.  (In the car during the Haunted House thing too).  But I left it alone, since it wasn’t my place to talk about her BF like that.

Yet.

Another month or so later, she’d brought up drinking in Patchogue over the weekend.  She mentioned that she wanted to do this with the whole group before, and I expressed interest when no one else really did, and everyone else kinda had plans.  But this time it happened to be her Boyfriend’s Birthday, and I was loosely invited to join them.

At that point I had band practice, but I told her to keep me informed. After band practice, I had to hit her up and ask what was going on, and of course, she told me they were leaving soon... but at least she got back to me at all.

Then that night, she was drunk and vented to me about how her night out sucked.  And that she really wanted to be single sometimes!

I couldn’t believe it, but I was there for her.  Told her I understood completely.  And then we left it alone.

By this point, I had established in my mind that we were definitely friends. But now I cared about this girl.  I thought about her wellbeing.  

But I just rode the wave of friendship.

It’s been a while since a drinking thing happened.  She said to the group that she wants to go crazy soon.  She wants to get “Fucked Up!”  And she had also confided in me Again about how her and her Boyfriend weren’t doing well at all, and in fact, she was considering ending it eventually.

Now...  This news came as a shock, but also a bit of a fear.  Because I’m not gonna lie to you.  This girl is very hot.  But also.. we like each other’s company.  It got to the point where at break, we practically break into our own side conversations all the time.  Not always...  but often enough.

We have each other’s numbers.  Texting happens.

But lately it’s been all about putting a hang out together.  She mentioned wanting to get “Fucked Up” and somehow Bowling became an idea between the 2 of us.  This became Our Plan, that we’d present to the group.

And here’s where I start to feel stupid.

As an aside - on Friday’s I always have my own after-work obligations where I visit my parents and teach some private music lessons while I’m in the area.  Then I come home late on a Friday, spend some time with the lady, and go to bed tired.

The work friends talk about how their night starts at 10 usually anyway, but... so far I haven’t seen that.  Things never linked up before.

So this time I made a Sacrifice!  3 weeks in advance!!!

I told my Students, “No lessons on 2/7!” We told the Co-workers about going Bowling on 2/7 waaaaay ahead of time, and they seemed down for the idea.

I looked up locations, places with good food, either nearby or within the facility..  And even bars to go afterwards if we wanted.  But no one budged in our little texting group chat.

This girl and I would talk about it here and there.  She was definitely down, no matter what.

Well, this week, Bowling quickly turned into Pool when another friend suggested alternative plans.  In my mind, I kinda cemented this one particular Bowling Alley, and now everything was thrown off.  We’d be in a different town, who knows if this place had food.  Etc. Etc. Etc.

I brought all this up in the chat, which caused it’s own drama between me and someone else, who wasn’t even joining us, but in the end, a 3rd Waaaaay Better option was brought up by the Girl!

“Let’s go to Patchogue!”

FINALLY!  

I was gonna get to see what the whole deal was!  We were gonna get trashed, and barhop at these clubby kind of places that lend themselves to dancing and grinding.  Who the fuck knows.

She mentioned pre-gaming at her place.  She talked a big game of crashing at her place if I wanted, [which I thought was insane!] and that would probably never happen.  I wouldn’t let myself get that bad.

But I don’t lie.  Ideas were set in place now.

Chilling at the girl’s place, beforehand.  And maybe even afterwards.  Probably not, but ya never know...

Then, yesterday at work, she left early during lunch.  She texted me heart eyes and said that she was leaving early.

I was like, “Whaat the Fuuuuuck?”

She went silent all day, and then this morning she texted me saying that she was really sick and that it probably wasn’t happening.

All day I was getting texts of , “I’m feeling better, but still uneasy” and then we’d talk and she was saying she was better, but she’d see.  I really tried not to push the issue.  I know she wasn’t feeling well.

At the end of the day, she mentioned that she told our other friend that she might meet up later.

But then on text, when it was kind of go-time, she told me, “I already told him I’m not gonna come through.”

To which I had enough, and was just like, “Thanks for keeping me in the loop”

I didn’t want to fight, but I had to express some form of disappointment.  Because, what the Fuck man, we Planned this!

And I just stressed to her to be real with me.  Let me know it’s not happening straight up and I’ll go with it.  But this back-and forth wishy washy maybe, maybe not thing is only hurtful and unfair to both of us.

I didn’t use those words.  I was way smoother.  But still, I got the point across.

...  And literally as I was writing this up, plans have changed AGAIN!  It’s BACK ON.  She even CALLED me for the first time.

I expressed the only thing I couldn’t say on text.  And I didn’t want to overtext. I told her that.  “I’ll never give you shit for feeling sick.”

And I told her, don’t feel this weird social obligation to come out just because you feel bad and the others want you to come out.  I want you to do you and feel good about whatever it is, because it’s what you need.”

But she was all, “I have all weekend to recover and we never go out so...  It’s all good.  So you wanna go?”

That happened about 3 times.  So...  It’s on.  I asked if she was sure, twice.

a 3-way call even happened to cement the plan.  I’m gonna meet them at wherever once I get the address.

I still think it’s gonna be a very different night, because she’s somewhat under the weather?  But good enough to hang??

But isn’t that always the reality of things.  You pump something up so much, that once you get to the actual destination, you find yourself way less excited?

Who knows.  I’m looking forward to tonight, but Man, this vent rant really turned around.  I’m both excited and concerned for her health now.

But we’re all going out.  And it’s gonna feel a little date-ish, being that the other 2 co-workers we’re going with are... secretly together, but haven’t told everyone flat out yet??  So, this’ll be an interesting vibe.

When the girl I’m talking about wasn’t in, I Really didn’t want to be a 3rd wheel.

But now that’s not the case!

I... have zero expectations for tonight, except to have a good time. Which is exactly what I told myself last night, before this entire day occurred.

So now I’m defaulting to that mode and I guess I’m gonna get ready.

Now I just hope that anything that was said to any party hasn’t made things awkward between anyone.  But probably not.

It’s gonna be a cool night out.  I hope.

I guess I don’t feel stupid after all!

[purplesurveys]

629

What color is your bedspread? Blue and yellow. Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 25 and read the first sentence. I’m on the rooftop and there isn’t a book anywhere near me at the moment. How many candles are in the room you are in? No candles, just two faint beams coming from our rooftop lights. What was your first word when you were a baby? My parents didn’t give much thought to stuff like that so they didn’t keep track of my first word, whatever it was. It was most likely either mommy or daddy though. How old were you in 1996? I was...somewhere in the universe, floating around lmao.

How old will you be in 2016? I turned 18 in 2016. How long until your birthday? A little less than three months before I turn 22. How many siblings do you have? Two.  Are they older or younger than you? My sister is two years younger, my brother is five years younger. Are your grandparents still alive? I have three out of four. I lost my maternal grandfather in 2015. How many orange objects are there in the room you are in? The lights we have on our rooftop emit a yellow-orange hue.   Have you ever run a stoplight? Never. I’ve seen enough car crash videos to know what could possibly happen if I was that impatient/if I drove too fast to brake. Do you have any children? Nope. Maybe by the end of the decade. Saying that and knowing that it isn’t 100% bullshit feels WILD. How was your first kiss? It was mostly her. I was too overwhelmed and shaking too much to remember. That whole time I was just in disbelief that I was already having my first kiss lol. Have you completed high school yet? Yeah, almost four years ago. I’m about to complete university/college this year. Do you have any relatives in the military currently? As far as I know, no. The only person I know who’s in the military is Angela’s uncle, who she’s told me about but we’ve never met each other. I also know Kate’s brother is attending military school instead of attending a ~traditional academic university, so to speak. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? Oh my, the last wedding I was in was in 2007, and it was between my uncle (my mom’s youngest brother) and my now-aunt. The new batch of weddings I’m going to be invited to now is definitely gonna be my friends’ and I’m STOKED. What time did you get up today? I first woke up at 6 AM, but I wanted to sleep in so I officially got up at around 9. When was the last time you stayed up all night? I haven’t had an all-nighter in around three years, but I did stay up until 4 AM partying with my friends a couple of months ago. We got back to Rita’s place by 5 AM, but I guess this still kinda counts as staying up all night. How long have you had a myspace, facebook, or whatever you use? I’ve had a Facebook since 2013 (I only made one since my English teacher in freshman year required us to make an account, but I technically wasn’t allowed by my parents so I had to sign up in secret). I made a Twitter three years before that, because it was a website that my parents didn’t know about yet so it was easier to sneak in and make an account for it. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you hung out with? My cousin, Jereth. We exchanged stories and played the Switch while waiting for 2020 to hit. Person of the same sex? Gabie. She came over last Friday. What color are your eyes? They are dark brown but appear to be black most days. Do you like them? Sure, it’s not like Filipinos have a choice lolol. Have you ever had braces? Yes, I had them for a year and a half in high school. I eventually lost my retainers and never got to buy another set, so everything that the braces did was to no avail since my teeth just went back to how they looked like pre-braces. :( Turn on your mp3, cd player, radio, etc. What song is playing? Khalid’s Talk just started playing on my Spotify. What was the last thing you drank? My second cup of barako coffee is keeping me company up on the rooftop right now.

Are you better at math or art? Math. I never accomplished anything presentable in art classes. Science or History? Oooooh, ya got me. I love both, but nothing replaces my love for history. Who was your 4th grade teacher? Ms. Belen, who is actually Satan in a middle-aged woman’s body. I won’t deny that I’ve wished for her death several times; she had her favorites and made her non-favorites know that she hated them. She was just that awful. Who was your best friend in 7th grade? Gabie! We actually met in the seventh grade and she’s been my best friend ever since then. Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? I went to the same school from preschool to high school, which we’ll hide under the name AA. We don’t have schools divided into primary, secondary, high school and whatever else y’all have in America. Who was the last person to call you? It was my mom. We went to the mall so I can spend time in Starbucks while she was looking for fancy china (we were going to have guests the next day), and she called to tell me she was gonna drive to another mall cos she couldn’t find any good plates in the mall we were currently in.

Did you smile in your driver's license picture? Yes. They told me I was allowed to smile, so I gave a hearty grin. Apparently that’s an unusual thing to do cos most people just give a closed-mouth smile or don’t smile at all, and the people at the LTO were very amused when my license was finally printed out hahaha. Do you have a job? Not yet, but that’s my goal by the end of the year. AHHHHHHHH WILD What is your favorite smell? Curry being cooked or cookies being baked. What's your favorite brand of gum? Bazooka is classic bubblegum flavor, so I’ll go with that. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? Nope. I think I’d find that super awkward, especially in my case because I see Gab’s sisters as my little sisters too lol. Who was your crush in 5th grade? My science teacher lmaoooo. We don’t talk about that era. Who was your first bf/gf? Gab. What color is the shirt you are wearing? Brown and black. What do you think of the 1980's? Pop music, big hair, Madonna, Michael Jackson. Have you ever dated someone more than 2 years older than you? I haven’t. How about 2 years younger? Nope. I’ve only dated one person and they’re the same age as me, so I don’t really know how I feel about age gaps in relationships. What brand of shampoo do you use? Dove. How long is your hair? It’s super long now that I hadn’t had it cut AT ALL in 2019. I want to have it long for my grad pic shoot so I’m probably not having it trimmed until February. If I lean my head a bit back, it already reaches my hips. If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be? I’d have my teeth fixed. Is there a box of tissues in the room you are in right now? Nope, I’m out in the rooftop and there’s no reason to keep tissue in here lol. What time is it? 10:27 PM. Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? We have plants on each corner of the rooftop. What color are the walls in your kitchen? White. All our walls are white, except for my brother’s bedroom which used to be the balcony until we had it renovated. His walls are creamish. Have you ever had a car accident? Mild ones. I’ve never been in a major crash where a car was totally destroyed or where someone was hurt. Do you have any major plans for today? There’s like half an hour left before the day officially ends, so I think I’m good. What kind of deoderant do you use? A...normal one? If you mean brands, I have a Dove one. What color is your toothbrush? Maroon and white. Do you own a digital camera? Nope. I stopped using those around seven or eight years ago. How old is the cellphone you have right now? It’s almost two years old. What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? NELZ. Do you know anyone named Tyler? I know a high school classmate’s stepbrother is named Tyler, but I don’t know anyone personally with that name. How about Reese? Katreen’s younger sister is named Reese. Diana? No. I know several Diannes, though. Shelby? That’s a no for me. Have you ever kissed someone who's name started with "C"? Negative. How about "L"? Also no. "E"? I haven’t. "B"? Andddddd nope. Are both your parents still living? Yep. What was the last thing you cooked? Nothing. How many times have you moved in your life? That I remember? Two. Do you live within 20 miles of your birthplace? Yeah, I think Manila counts as being pretty close to where I am now. Can you do a handstand? I can’t. I tried many times as a kid though (and hurt myself several times in the process). Is it after 11am? Well after, in fact. What day is it? Thursday, but it’s soon going to turn to Friday. What's the longest time you've ever spent on the phone? I was once on a Viber call for around eight hours straight with Gab back in like the early months of our relationship. That was insane. We never did it again after that lolol. How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? Just the one pair of brown heels. Are you on any prescribed medications? Nopes. What was the date 2 weeks ago from today? December 19th. If you aren't already married, do you expect to be married within 5 years? No. I’m giving myself between 7-10 years. How about 2 years? That’s an even bigger no. How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime? I’ve never been to a funeral, just wakes. I don’t think I’d like funerals, so I want to stay as unaware as I am now. Have you ever been far away from home on your birthday? Yeah. I was in Batangas for my 20th. I also went on a cruise around East Asia for my 18th birthday, but I was back in the Philippines by the day of my actual birthday. The cruise took place in the days leading up to it. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes. My first pets were goldfish. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? Probably not. I wanted one as a teenager though. If you only had 30 days to live, what would you do? That’s pretty dark, but uhhhhhhhh I guess I’d spend all my money, party as much as I want, drink as much as I want, look for new owner/s for my dog, drive as far as I can, spend most of the time with my girlfriend.

[lovemesomesurveys]

2 for 1 special.

1. Are you one of those survey takers who take off tags? Why or why not? No, that’s really shitty. There’s rarely a tag on the surveys I find, whether there wasn’t one to begin with or someone else removed it, but if there is one I keep it there.  2. What kind of signs do you use when you pose for pictures? (i.e peace signs, thumbs up, rock, etc) I don’t make any signs. My signature pose is I slightly angle my head a certain way and give a closed mouth smile. 3. How often do you clean your room? Ugh, my room is bad right now. It’s really cluttery. I have too much stuff and not enough space. I’ve been wanting to go through and get rid of some things, but I just can’t seem to muster up the energy. Or the motivation. :/ It’s driving me nuts cause my room used to always be clean, but now it’s messy like me. 4. Where do you find new bands? I generally find new music on Spotify, but sometimes from my brother. 5. Do you have a favorite survey taker around xanga? If so, who? Well, obviously not Xanga (RIP), but there’s a pretty great group of us survey takers on here. Ya’ll know who you are. (:

6. How about survey maker? Do you have a favorite? I did, but they don’t make surveys anymore I don’t think. :( 7. What color is your computer chair? I always have my laptop on my bed. 8. When you buy a magazine, do you cut out the pictures that you like so you can put them on the wall, or do you keep the magazine the way it is? I did in my preteen and early teenage years. 9. Do you like to read? If so, what kind of books do you read and who is your favorite author, if you have one? I love to read. I like YA, NA, mystery, and psychological thriller.  10. Do you make 'To Do' lists often? No, but if I actually have something I need to do I’ll sometimes set a reminder on my phone. 11. Who is your worst teacher? And why is he/she the worst? I’m done with school. 12. Do you organize your files on your computer? Yeah. 13. Isn't it funny how almost every survey asks what your favorite color is? That one doesn’t bother me. There’s other repetitive questions that irk me, though. 14. How long can you go without eating? My appetite fluctuates. There’s days where I hardly eat anything or don’t eat anything until much later in the day. There’s bad days where I don’t eat at all, but I don’t allow more than a day, though. If my appetite is that messed up I have to make myself try and eat something.  15. Do you carry a bag when you go out? I’ve been using a mini backpack. I’ve been into those instead of a purse now. 16. Have you seen that Converse high heels? Would you wear it if you had the chance to? I’ve seen them... they don’t appeal to me at all. I couldn’t wear them anyway. 17. Do you have a motto in life? Or any saying that you believe in? Meh. 18. How often do you pray? Not as often as I should /: <<< I tell myself I need to more, but for some reason I don’t.  19. Do you have any bad habits? Oh do I. 20. Do you want to change your name? If so what name do you want? No thanks. I've already been Stephanie for so long. To change my name now would just be weird. . . <<< Haha, same! 21. Do you like wearing flip flops? I never wear flip flops or any kind of sandal or open toed shoe. 22. What Math subject is your favorite? (I.e. Algebra, Statistics, Business Math, Trigonometry, Geometry, etc.) None of them, you sicko. 24. How about Science? I like psychology, which falls under the social sciences category. 25. Would you ever dye your hair? If so what color? I’ve dyed my hair numerous times. I had blonde highlights for several years, went black one year, and since 2015 I’ve been dyeing my hair red. 26. What is the funniest thing that happened to you today? Nothing so far, it’s only 5 in the morning. Only 5 in the morning, ha. I need to go to bed. 27. Do you wish during 11:11? Nope. 28. Do you know the site PostSecret.com? If you do not, check it, now! I’m familiar with it, yes. It’s been around for several years. 29. Do you have a favorite Youtuber? If so, who? And what is your favorite video by them? I have several. 30. If you have to pick JUST ONE between TV, iPod, and computer, what would you pick and why? Computer. I can do pretty much anything on my computer. <<< Yeah, that’s an easy one. I swapped iPod for iPhone and still picked computer. 31. Do you study for exams? What subject do you study the most for? I did when I was in school. I studied for all my exams. 32. What is something that you do not like? A lot of things. 33. Have you ever liked a band because of their looks? No, I like bands/artists for their music. If they’re attractive, that’s just an added bonus. 34. Do you have trust issues? It’s not really that. I just have a hard time opening up to people and expressing myself. I tend to keep a lot to myself. 35. What is the appropriate length for a survey? I like at least 25 questions, but more is better.  Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Yes. Have you ever been locked in a car with a bf/gf? No. Have you had a bf/gf that you never kissed? No. How do you know you love someone, personally? I just know. I don’t feel like getting all deep right now. Would you ditch friends to be with a bf/gf? No. I mean, unless my boyfriend really needed me in that moment or something came up. “Ditch” sounds harsh, though. I’d let them know and try to reschedule.  How many true best friends are present in your life? I just have my family, which I’m perfectly fine with. Do you currently have a significant other? No. Do your parents approve of the people you hang out with? I’m 30 years old and don’t have any friends, but they never had an issue with any of my friends. Would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate? I don’t hate anyone. If I really didn’t like someone; though, I could still be civil. I wouldn’t have to interact with them, and if I did I would be polite, but keep it short. I wouldn’t say more than I needed to. I’m sure it would be awkward, though. Even uncomfortable, depending on the situation.  Do you depend on people at all, in any way? Yes. I’ve become pretty dependent these past few years, especially. Have you ever lost a close friend? That’s life. Has anybody ever held a grudge against you for a dumb reason? Not to my knowledge. Think of your current or last bf/gf. Do you/did you love them? I did, but no, not anymore. I don’t have any bad feelings towards them, though. Has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like? I’m single currently, but that didn’t happen in the past. Not to my face, anyway. Do you date different people til you find the right one, or do you wait? I’ve been single for almost 7 years.  Have you ever stayed up late talking to a bf/gf on the phone or online? Yes. Do your friends like the people you date? Do their friends like you? My friends had an issue with Joseph because they didn’t like how he treated me. Do your parents let you date, or do you sneak around? I’m 30 years old. I can’t use “my parents don’t let me date” as an excuse for why I’ve been single haha.  Have you ever felt backstabbed by a close friend? Yes. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? No. Do you feel you can rely on anybody to always be there for you? Yes, my family. Have you ever regretted ignoring anybody? I’ve regretted pushing certain people away. Have you ever kissed someone in their bedroom, or in yours? No. Has a friend of yours ever confessed their love to you? Not romantically, but I had a friend who got really lovey dovey when she was drunk and would start crying and telling me she loved me lol. Have you gone out with someone, then ruined the friendship you had before? Yes. Can you trust any of your friends at full capacity? I trust my family with my life. Is the word 'love' even in your vocabulary? Yes. Who do you think is more confusing, males or females? People in general are confusing. Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else? Written, yes. Can you be your complete and honest self in front of anyone? Yeah. Do you tend to hide your emotions from certain people? Yes. I also downplay a lot. Do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf? Yeah, somewhere. Do your friends know how to make you smile in tough times? I don’t have friends, but yes my family does. Do you have inside jokes with anybody? Yeah. Has anybody said they loved you, but you didn't love them back? Yes. Is there anyone you don't like that always seems to be everywhere you are? Myself. Haaa. Is there anyone you care about more than you care for yourself? My loved ones. They’re the most important thing to me. Who in your life is your number one priority to make sure they're happy? I want my loved ones to be happy. 

[volleydorkscentral]

ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNUSUAL ASK GAME, YOU COWARD.

First of all: 

Second, questions under the cut: 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify! all the way. i hoarse my bf’s account so he can never listen but i don’t care it’s mine now it’s full of my music and my playlists and whenever i’m listening to it and it suddenly changes cause he tries to use it on his phone I call him, “are you using spotify?” “oh. i mean i can listen to something else?” “cool, thanks!” and i get my music back. :D

is your room messy or clean? - it’s somewhere in between. my actual ROOM (bed room, i assume) is pretty clean, except i never make the bed. but the house is .. a work in progress. it’s not dirty but it’s cluttered so my bf and I are having to work together to clear that and build shelves and stuff for more storage space.

what color are your eyes? - dark brown! (with little green flecks when I cry)

do you like your name? why? - Not really? i don’t hate it. My mom wanted to name me Savannah but they had her sign the certificate while she was still drugged from her c-section so it ended up as Crystal?? Idk. She named her dolls Crystal when she was a kid.

what is your relationship status? - dating for almost six years. 

how many times a week do you shower? uhhh idk. I don’t shower every day (unless i get gross). AT LEAST four times… but I don’t wash my hair every time cause that’s bad for my hair. I SHOWER WHEN I AM DIRTY.

favorite tv show? does Haikyuu!! count? that’s probably a given. HM. Well, we don’t have cable so I don’t watch a lot of NEW shows? …. OH. Duh. Fuckin me I’m a dumbass. Bob’s Burgers. I literally have it on ALL THE TIME. I don’t like silence so it’s ALWAYS on in the background if i’m not listening to music. I’ve seen every episode a zillion times. I can usually pinpoint every scene and the major lines/jokes.

shoe size? most brands it’s 5 1/2 

how tall are you? SHORTER THAN NISHINOYA BUT TALLER THAN YACHI. I’m like… 5ft-5’1 depending on how much my back hurts. (i used that earlier and someone said it was funny and i’m trash so i’ll repeat it here!)

sandals or sneakers? i wear Bobs LOL. (knock off toms) and i’ve got one pair of sneakers and sometimes I wear my ballet flats around even though my bf says they look dumb fuck u they’re comfy.

do you go to the gym? No. I used to, but where I live now it’d be like a 45 min drive. I don’t really LIKE gyms though? working out is boring to me. No matter how hard I try. I’d love to start dancing again for real.

describe your dream date - April 25th because it’s not too cold and not too hot. Okay but jk that’s a lie where I live it’s balls hot in april. Idk. I’d like to go hiking when it’s not very hot? Take my dog, let her run around. Take a picnic. Sit in a grassy field and talk about dumb shit cause we know each other’s dreams and hopes by now.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? UHM. fuck like…. $27? i know there’s a twenty and a handful of ones. And a handful of change.

what color socks are you wearing? - NONE. MY FEET ARE COLD. FOREVER COLD.

how many pillows do you sleep with? - pft like 6.

do you have a job? what do you do? - No; I quit after being over worked, under appreciated, cheated out of my paychecks a few times, and no job still due to lingering health issues.

how many friends do you have? answered this already!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - UHM. Idk i haven’t murdered anyone. I don’t like this question cause if i really try to answer it i’ll spiral into a frustrated, furious depression and self-hatred so… NOPE.

whats your favorite candle scent? i’ve got this candle i got from etsy that’s like… Scottish Highlands? It’s grassy and kinda MAGICY.

3 favorite boy names - i don’t really have favorite names?

3 favorite girl names - answered already

favorite actor? god idk. i’m so bad with names and celebrities. uhm. I really like don’t have a favorite. I LIKE a bunch. Benedict Cumberbatch; Freddie Highmore… uhm. uh. Hugh Laurie? 

favorite actress? IDK OKAY?? I LIKE a bunch but i don’t favorite?? I really like Gwendoline Christie. Uhm. Anne Hathaway makes me laugh. MAGGIE SMITH. how could i forget!??!

who is your celebrity crush? I LEGIT don’t have one.

favorite movie? CLUE takes the top spot most days.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot more. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

money or brains?  personality, bitch.

do you have a nickname? what is it? not *really* but people online used to call me Chrys. My bf calls me ‘sweetie’ sometimes but he also calls the dog that so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many times have you been to the hospital? - uhm. like the er? Once when I broke my arm. Doc in the box? Not since 2017.

top 10 favorite songs - PFT. Uhm. Jesus just let me die a little. Excluding all Disney; Not in any order:

No One - Biometrix

Danser - Lisandro Cuxi

A Single Moment of Sincerity (E) - Asking Alexandria (the band I was listening to when I designed my rockstar MC that I love so much)

The Annabel Trilogy (a series of 3 albums) - Alesana. Can’t pick a single song because they’re all a part of a huge story. Listen to them.

Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise - Dance Gavin Dance

Anticoagulant - Sianvar

Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men

Coincidance - Handsome Dancer (Watch the Video for the love of god. THANKS ASH FOR THIS GEM)

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Still Here - Digital Daggers (i’ve been listening it to a lot for inspiration for a new AU so… yup. That’s gonna be fun and painful)

do you take any medications daily? - yup

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - i got dry ass skin it sucks

what is your biggest fear? - uhm… physical fear? idk. Heights is a big one that I developed? I used to not care but a while ago I was walking on a bridge and I just… looked over and got FUCKING DIZZZY with nausea and fear that I was gonna fall and almost fainted. 

how many kids do you want? - HONESTLY… one or two.

whats your go to hair style? - tried to brush but gave up so just threw it in a claw clip

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - moderate? one story, four bedrooms. big ass yard though for the dog

who is your role model? - I don’t really have one.

what was the last compliment you received? - answered already

what was the last text you sent? - actual TEXT message? ‘as long as there’s someone with her overnight she’ll be okay during the day cause of the dog door and stuff. just play with her before you go to work and maybe hide some treats around the house for her to hunt for’ - texting my friend that’s gonna house sit while we go on a family vacation soon.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - UH idk the age? i know I saw my mom writing scavenger cards though. My fam has never had a lot of money so to make Christmas more interesting my mom/grandparents (we lived with them till I was in 3rd grade) would make these elaborate scavenger hunts for me and my cousins to do to find our presents around the house or out in the barn or, on one memorable occasion, at the bottom of our pool! Good memories. 

what is your dream car? - one that RUNS and has badass AC and speakers

opinion on smoking? - hate it. please don’t do it around me. my bf’s family alllllll smoke all the time and i get so sick when i have to go on vacation with them and be around it for a long time. 

do you go to college? - i DID. I went to Culinary school and majored in Baking & Pastry

what is your dream job? - Author or Dog Trainer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural as all hell. give me trees, cows, and horses. 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Not usually? but usually the people i’m with do. 

do you have freckles? Not on my face (except one) but i’ve got more like… on my arms and just randomly all over but i dont think ‘freckles’ would be what anyone thinks of when they think of me

do you smile for pictures? - only if i’m forced to be in them

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well. Before I got my new phone it was over 10k. Now though its only about 2k. 

have you ever peed in the woods? - Only when I was camping. 

do you still watch cartoons? - ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - neither. but i HATE WENDYS and can tolerate McD’s fries and they’ve got ballin’ sweet tea so I guess McD.

Favorite dipping sauce? this honey dijon creamy thing at my favorite French restaurant but idk what is is.

what do you wear to bed? - t-shirt 

have you ever won a spelling bee? - YUP. 2nd grade.  

what are your hobbies? - writing, crocheting, photography, reading, uh… i forget what else

can you draw? when i was doing it all the time i did ok? but i’m WAY TOO IMPATIENT now a days to do it. 

do you play an instrument? - no but i wish i did :(

what was the last concert you saw? - i’ve never been to a concert. crowds are icky

tea or coffee? - tea!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - already answered this

do you want to get married? - Yes pls

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - (bf, but I suppose i still have a crush on him? is love considered a crush?) J. Y. 

are you going to change your last name when you get married? god yes. my current last name is my shitbag of a sperm doner and i hate it. my mom kept it after they divorced only cause she thought her maiden name would be too hard for me to spell but i would give anything to have that name instead

what color looks best on you? - idk. i prefer black but i’ve been told green and certain shades of pink/yellow. 

do you miss anyone right now? - not until i thought about it, thanks

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open so my pupper can go in and out

do you believe in ghosts? not until i’m faced with darkness and creepy things 

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing their food loud. people not picking up after themselves. people interrupting me (but not in the excited, OMG way. that we can work though) but in the ‘i don’t care what you’re saying i’m going to talk now’ way

last person you called` - my bf to discuss plans for his brother’s bday

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n’ cream!

regular oreos or golden oreos? DOUBLE STUFF OF EITHER

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? FUCK SPRINKLES

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that has my dog’s face on it :D

what is your phone background? - the art that Ash drew of Bokuto from my fic Just a Taste!!

are you outgoing or shy? - i hate talking to strangers but with my friends i’m pretty fucking loud and chatty

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people i know

do you like your neighbors? nope. he’s an asshole who neglected his dog and i wanna skin him alive

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do my best to remember to do it at night but i always do it when i shower

have you ever been high? yup. 

have you ever been drunk? yup

last thing you ate? BIRTHDAY CAKE

favorite lyrics right now - idk? i guess the first lyrics that came to mind, even though they’re not my favorite, just ones that i like and were stuck in my head for a while: “All of the handsome fiction / will melt away / and when the flame burns brighter / Evaporate” Evaporate - Dance Gavin Dance

summer or winter?  WINTER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT’S SO FUCKING HOT IN SUMMER I DIE EVERY DAY

day or night? both have their merits

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - all chocolate but i prefer white to just EAT. 

favorite month? uhm. uhh. November maybe? for NaNoWriMo. 

what is your zodiac sign - pftt.. i think i used to be a Gemini? i don’t believe in all that stuff 

who was the last person you cried in front of? - ….. my dog? but probably my mom and Grandmother when my GM basically said my bf didn’t love me and was a shit human being and i was a shit granddaughter for loving him. i was both upset and furious and i walked away from them. (my mom called and apologized, but i haven’t spoken to my GM since)

THERE ASH ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY. that took so long LOL (I hope the formatting came through I had to redo it on this tumblr page UGH)

[glamzerypink]

SO sometimes on tumblr i like to write a little bit about myself as this is a platform where you yourself can read but not know exactly who i am. please leave a comment on this story i am about to proceed with. i was told by my mother that she had planned a small trip away with me. Somewhere close yet satisfying. I was super pumped and excited to get away, i was under a lot of stress. As i walked in the living room my mother told me that we weren’t going away, in fact she and my arrogant stepdad were. insantly ater the loss of the majority of close people in my life i left again i was being left out of something and replaced not to mention i had spent everyday alone at school for the past year. I was really hurt and grew anger, i explained that it wasn’t nice of her to just remake her plans when i was so excited to go. Fed up i told her about all the times shes done it and why it upset me so much. All of a sudden she began to cry in guilt not replying to me and giving me the cold shoulder. Thats when my step dad walked in the room with my mothers phone. “Your phone is ringing” he said flat. My mum in tears grabs the phone and walks into the garden. But i wanted to know if she was going through with it still and was in a rush to work. So i walked after her and was going to wait until she was off the phone. As i walked into the garden my step dad put his hand out asking where i was going, i said “i just want to see my mum”. He bounced, “no she is on the phone!” I tried to get around him, “i dont care i need to talk” i just wanted us left alone. So i went the other way, then BAM, hes got a hold of me. The dogs in the garden heard me yelling at my step dad to let go of my arm, they all ran over. One of the dogs was between us barking and no matter what i said it was faded into the sounds of dogs barking and my step dad grunting for me to get inside. I was helpless. i couldnt communicate. He sees my mum at the back of the garden and shoves me inside the house the dogs see the roughness and joined in. One of the dogs jumped and bit my hand. “AGHH!” i sceam, “let go! Let go!” and “ple-” everything was useless. The dog took a chunk of my leg squeezing my muscle with its jaw. In agony i try move to the door but then my step dad lifts me in the air flipping me the other way. The dogs bit my breast and arms. Finally my mother pushes through and he lets me go. I fall on the floor and crawl my way out into the living room. i didnt understand after the duration of screams my mother only just heard. Plus my stepdad just went back outside and waters the plants. My mother angry gets too flustered and walks off. In this position im very afraid, irrational and angry. I look out the window at my step dad who then notices me, “you dont even care i scream while holding my leg pissing out blood. He just throws his hand at me and turns away. Boiling with anger i punch the window i was looking through,”SMASH”,  “if i have to pay for this you can pay for that!”. Suddenly my mother bursts in the room with a towel and a medical kit. She looks at me in shock. “Mum are you insane?” i scream “i need to go to hospital now!” she yells at me saying that her car is in the garage and she needs to pick it up now to take me. Annoyed and hurt i decide to ring the ambulance myself waiting on the street with my boyfriend whos banned from the property after my crazy step dad strangled him for no reason - (we called the police on step dad for strangling - now my bf is banned from my own house?- stepdad owns house so he can legally do this- just to fuck with me as usual). So  after going to the hospital i got my leg stitched up and covered in injuries and bruises and bite wounds that have ruined my legs forever.  i honestly have became so alienated from all the shit my step dad does to the point where i cant function normally anymore. i ave major anxiety being with people and talking to them, i have nightmares where i think i wake up but i’m not and i get mentally abused by my step dad over and over. I’ve had scarring nightmares of him where i’ve’ been too afraid to actually sleep. I have left home with no job no qualifications because i cannot stand the mentality i’m in and need change. My friends don’t understand why i’m so sensitive but its because you have to be when someone is so insensitive all the time to you and your family. i have encouraged all my brothers to keep their kids away from him as he fucks with them too with stuff such as “ i got you no Christmas presents, they’re all for the dogs” to a four year old and other various things like when they were making huts in the garden he said it was his wood they were using and as kids do they complain about who’s it belongs too, “i found it first” etc. He decided to snap the log of wood over his leg acting like he was really angry, the loud snap gave my nephew a huge fright and he ran away screaming and crying. Honestly how many red flags does my mother need.

thoughts? 

[fatgumtouille]

all the creepy shit, i dare you to answer all of it

MATT PLEASE omg ok 

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

idk who I said it to tbh??? probably @trenazlore and YES I LOVE HER SO MUCH !!

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

NO OH MY GOD IM JUST AN OLD GRANDMOTHER 

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

always ???? I mean like lately people have been really nice to me and Im happy because wow!! you like me!! also Im aggro because I hate me lol 

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yeah I smile at them all the time?? Its kind of something I got used to after working retail for so long 

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Im not dating anyone lol also who the fuck cares ??? 

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Heathens by 21p is ALWAYS on the radio and it reminds me of @bearlylocal because Josh Dunn is her boy 

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

omg my Yamaguchi Tadashi cosplay shorts and a Celty Sturluson t shirt with the neckline cut lower and the sleeves cut off 

8. How often do you listen to music?

Every day but its usually pandora or the radio in the car

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Im not a pants wearing girl but I wear jeans/nicer pants to work  

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

TWENTY THIRTEEN 

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Social! I used to be antisocial but working in retail has really helped me open up to people and now I wont SHUT. UP

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope 

13. What about ‘R’?

No lol 

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

NOOOO Scary

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah and no like ???? Ok if I dont know abot it then whatever I guess

16. Are you going out of town soon?

Going up to LA for an anime con in January!! 

17. When was the last time you cried?

I almost cried last night for no reason??? um probably a few days or weeks ago??? 

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah all the time!

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

I would LOVE green eyes omg

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

FATGUM Or Justin Tomimori OR my pet rabbit Quincy

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I bought a vacuum that was too small and now I have to take it back to the store ugh

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Sure!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

NO Omg

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed which is currently unmade and naked (also theres a bunny in my lap!)

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Kristin and I say it to each other all the time ! Also Danni and most of my other friends 

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

YEAh

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

UUUuhhh tumblr user @fatyumm

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Maybe one or two bad ones a year

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I think I bought it at an anime con? 

30. Does anyone hate you?

P sure my two ex besties lol 

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

AHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahHH YEAh

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I love scary movies omg!!! rec me some !

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

No Im too much of a weenie for that 

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

GOD 

freshman year of college? I would want to never move away fro school tbh 

35. Did you have a dream last night?

YEAH it was almost sexy but I kept getting INTERRUPTED

then I had another one with my ex bestie in it 

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night!

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Doubful 

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

At least two tumblr anons I think 

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope so!

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I felt really sick when I first got to work and then later on before bed but other than that it was ok 

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

lol no try a whole year back 

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I HOPE The cute sample girl is working at the store Im stationed at tomorrow 

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

not that I can think of off the top of my head

44. What’s the best part about school?

NOTHIng 

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

So many

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

I DID in like seventh grade lol 

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

YEA all the time 

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Think so, yeah!

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

nope! I dont go to school anymore and i dont work at a pet store so things are p different 

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

fuck idk??? Id LIKE to be writing fic

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My dad ???? No but he IS a homophobe

52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try really hard to be !

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

YYEeeeaaaa

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Ive done it before and I know I can do it again 

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Im SO good at pretending Im not crying 

56. Do you think you like someone?

Fatgum

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

NOoooo

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Girls and nb people

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Kristin had to deal with me crying all through the second half of RENT

60. Do you hate anyone?

No one I know personally but I wouldn’t be mad if something really terrible happene dto T/r/ump

61. How’s your heart?

It’s beatin

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

UUUMMM.....I just dont really like talking about what I was like in middle school I guess

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

YEAH64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

the ex besties lol 

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they arent painted at all lol

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

sure hope not!

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

FUck if I know! I mean, I would hate to see the person Im with crying 

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

my pants are always falling down because my butt is small 

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mom 

70. How do you look right now?

probably.....tired

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

lots of people!

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes!

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

”Opposite” sexes dont exist but I only have one close guy friend and we havent talked in a while but! I feel like I can tell @adol everything

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

lol when your bestie gets a bf

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, just exhausted

76. Are you a jealous person?

I like to think not

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like to think so but....havent really ever experienced one that was

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

HMMMmmmm

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Id kill to see any of my friends rn but they all live far and Im poor lol

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to work and sell some Indian food

81. Last person you cried in front of?

honestly, probably Kristin but if we’re counting non humans? my bunnies

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

most of my friends, I HOPE

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

god I hope Fatgum is protective of me 

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I DONT SPEAK JAPANESE so probably just staring at each other awkwardly 

(this is about both Fatgum and Justin)

85. Are you over your past?

who knows

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

WHATS AN OPPOSITE SEX LOL and no

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Kristin!! 

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I mean who says anyone Ive dated in the past has been a “true love” of mine 

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

IT WAS LITERALLY A RANDO AT SOME ANIME CON SO GOD NO 

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

UUUUUUmmmmmmm.......I dont think my friends or family were ever fond of some of my exes....

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

dang, sure hope so

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Ye, but we dont talk anymore

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nah

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

No, I had just broken up with someone :/

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

IDK if I liked anyone in March??? I dont think I did

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

@hamsa-heart???? YES97. Who do you have texts from?

Kristin, Hazel, my mom, my boss, etc

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

sucks to suck but live your dreams dude

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

YEa

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

I dont think theres anyone else in any of my profile pics

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

GOD I WISH102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

YYEEEAaahhh

[photowizard17]

I like when someone wants someone else to ask him/her so, would you like to answer these questions? I don't like the 'short answers' so you can say anything you want, the questions are: 2/4/9/13/16/21/22/24 especially( 27). :-)

HI! Ok so I knowthese asks were sent like a week ago and I apologies for the late response, butI wanted the answers to be accurate and in depth because you guys took the timeto ask! All of them are in the same post because a lot were duplicates.

So, thanks for asking... here we go!

Thank you again @lightning1999, @argentis and @glowing-coils-of-the-universe

1.    if someone wanted to reallyunderstand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? So if someone really wanted to understandme and my strange little brain they should probably read my fanfiction. Myfanfics show them my writing style, parts of my personality and my interests.They would of course have to watch the Thunderbirds because I swear it is all Italk about, well that and funny animal videos! I got my dad watching them lol.As to that they would have to listen to… probably everything. Like peopletalking around them, the sounds of birds, cars, electronics. I am a veryobservant person so when I am out in public I pay attention to everything. Itend to notice things others don’t.

2.    have you ever found a writer whothinks just like you? if so, who? I did a while back, sadly I don’t remember theirhandle, the plot was well thought out and detailed, which I enjoy. And I havemet people who think like I do. They see things differently. It is veryinteresting.

3.     list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. Well fandoms, guess what’s first!Thunderbirds: Virgil. I feel like I identify with Virgil because he is verycaring and artistic. Which I would like to think I am. He would give anythingfor anyone, he is also very detailed oriented which I am as well. And I love him.

Anotherfandom would be The Flash, and I probably identify with Caitlyn most. She hastwo sides of herself, one side no one really knows, and the other dominant sidewhich everyone is familiar with.

A third fandom is Pacific Rim and I think Iidentify with Mako the most because she is underestimated and sets up tochallenges presented to her. She is very loyal and very a very independent thinker.

My fourth fandom would be MARVEL and I mean thereare so many characters how do I chose? Well if I had to I would choose either CaptainAmerica or Lady Sif. Both underestimated and want to do the right thing. Evenif they are not sure what the right thing is anymore.

4.    do you like your name?  isthere another name you think would fit you better? I do like my name. I find it veryfitting. Although I have always liked the name Mel, not Melody or Melony, justMel. She was a character in Digata Defenders and I loved her when I wasyounger.

5.    do you think of yourself as ahuman being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do? Kind of confusing but I will tryto answer… I believe for now I am a human being, just because I am young I havenot come to realize how I change and become a doer. I do stand by the things I do,if someone is being rude, I fight back, someone needs help, I help. I don’tbelieve in hiding who you are because you won’t have the full life experience youwant if you always have to hide a part of yourself.

7.    do you care about your ethnicity?I don’treally care, but I do care. I know what background I am, but I don’t know muchabout the history of my people (French and Scottish). I know more about my Scottishside because I Highland Dance, and I know a bit about my French side because I usedto live in Ontario, but to me it is not the ethnicity that makes my familyimportant, it is the people in the family. I actually rarely think about myhistorical background, and I only mention it when it is privy to aconversation.

9.    are you an artist? I would like to think so… Idabble in computer generated art and I try to draw, but mostly I do little claysculpture and tiny meticulous things like robotics. And if writing counts as anart than I am an avid writer and take great pride in my work!

11.  describe your ideal day. An ideal day to the lazy teenager inside me would beto get up and do nothing… but I guess I would wake up late morning, have a hotchocolate, scroll through my feed, email, messages, etc, then I would probably havesome lunch and spend the afternoon doing something with my family. In the eveningI would then do Sculpey (clay) or write or attempt to draw.

13.  inside or outdoors? I do enjoy both. I grew up where in the summer you would go swimming andhiking and in the winter you would ski and snowmobile and go snowshoeing. So Ido enjoy being outside doing things, doesn’t matter what. Although I do likethe idea of sitting inside wrapped in a blanket with a hot drink and a show orfanfic.

15.  five most influential books over your lifetime. Sadly I don’t read that much…but I would have to say Meg Cabot’s School for Teenage Spies series was veryinfluential. It taught me how a young woman could accomplish great things withthe proper training.

Other than that Goodnight Moon, the kids book,still influences me today. When I lived in Ontario my grandmother lived inAlberta, and every night she would phone me and read me this book. Then whenshe was in hospital I read it to her, and she read it to me when I was in thehospital. Even today, because my grandma grew up in a household that didn’treally say ‘I love you’, we say Goodnight Moon whenever we hang up or I leaveher place.

16.  if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d haveturned out the same? If thisquestion means like nature environment, I think personality wise I would be thesame, but I don’t know if I would enjoy the same things. Like the freshlyfallen snow in the morning or those cold frosted trees, or the heavy rain thatmade you realize how weird and wonderful the world is.

17.  would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? Yes, I can honestly say it doesbecause everyone knows that on Tumblr there are no boundaries. You get toexpress who you are with no shame. Although to be fair I don’t hide who I am onany of my social media sites. You can see by these answers :P

19.  which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? I don’t know Harry Potter but Ihave been called a Hufflepuff? And I just like that name.

21.  do you love easily? I do… I am a very naive person and I am very caring so I tend to investeverything I have into relationships, hoping to keep them alive, only to find outmost of the time the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Relationshipsbeing friend or potential love interest seeing as I have never had a bf. But there are those few who care just as much as I do

22.  list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

1.Daydreaming, by far the thing I spend the most time on.

2. Probablythinking about or doing something pertaining to the Thunderbirds, kind of fitsin with the daydreaming thing.

3. Creating, either writing or sculpting ordrawing.

4. Watchingvideos… I have a lot of spare time on my hands

5. Mostlikely doing something else on my phone.

23.  how often would you want to see your family every year? With my immediate family (mom,dad, grandma) I am very close, so I would want to see them as often aspossible. I see my grandma about once ever week or so but I talk to her a lotmore than that and I would like that to continue if  I ever decide to moveout. :P

25.  could you live as a hermit? If that means alone… probably not for long. I enjoycertain human interaction, so as long as I am with the right people. Other peopleannoy me, most people annoy me… anyway...

27.  do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the“real you”? Yesbecause I don’t wear certain cloths to fit in, I don’t wear makeup to look overlyattractive and I don’t pretend around people. I dress for practicality and eventsand I don’t change who I am to feed the needs of the people around me. To quotePeggy Carter from Agent Carter, “I know my worth, anyone else’s  opinion doesn’t really matter.”

28.  three songs that you connect with right now. I don’t really feel like Iconnect to music, I just like music. If that makes sense. I don’t feel and emotionalattachment with music other than the odd motivational songs or just reallyupbeat songs. So I guess those songs would be Warriors by Imagine Dragons, WhoDo You Love by Marianas Trench and Waka Waka by Shakira.

[surveysonfleek]

435.

When was the last time you used a pair of ear/headphones? a couple days ago.

Have you ever tried to count to infinity? no, what a waste of time.

Do you like making mixed cds? when i was younger, yeah. now i just make playlists.

Would you want to live forever if it meant being a tree? no.

What is the strangest thing you’ve put chocolate on? nothing that weird.

Could you earn a good living selling weed? i mean you probably could but i personally wouldn’t do it.

How would you use a photographic memory? to remember diagrams and stuff.

What would you do tomorrow if you had $500? nothing lol. keep it.

What body hair gets the most attention? the hair on my head?

What’s your favorite commercial? none. i hate ads.

Do you like pie? i mean i do but it’s never my first choice for a meal/dessert.

Do you appreciate dishwashers? i’ve never had one.

If you could change someone else’s past, what would you change? i wouldn’t.

What’s the worst experience you don’t remember? being bitten by a dog.

Are your dreams usually cheerful? nah.

What’s your favorite color of eyeliner? black.

How’s the weather where you are at? it’s nice.

Anything bad happen today? yeah. i didn’t get off work early lol.

Can you solve a Rubik’s Cube? probably. but it’d take forever.

What was the last thing that you microwaved?  leftovers.

Did you have an easy-bake oven when you were little?  no.

Have you ever seen a donkey?  yes.

Do you like sheep? no.

Do you like dogs?  yes.

Do you have one?  yes.

Do you ever want to be married?  someday.

Do you take a lot of pictures?  not as much as i used to.

Where is the boy you want most? sleeping.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? in bed sleeping.

What is your current mood? tired.

Where are you going tomorrow? work.

Who was the last person you yelled at? i forgot.

Do you think you’ll be a good Mother/Father? hopefully!

The last thing you drank?  water.

What’s in your pocket?  no pockets.

What colour are your fingernails? dark red.

Have you ever left school just because you didn’t want to be there?  yes.

Did anything cute happen today? no.

What are you currently hearing? nothing.

Are you afraid of the dark? only if i’m not familiar with my surroundings.

Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings? depends who it is.

Do you have a common first name? no.

Do you like your middle name or your first name more? first.

What year would/did you turn 21? 2011.

What was popular when you were a kid? barbies, pokemon, sailor moon.

Do you wear more rings or necklaces? necklace.

Have you ever been engaged? no.

Can you see your veins through your skin? kinda.

Do you worry about having good grammar online? yeah.

Do you know anyone with a lazy eye? yes.

Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? when i was 12 so yeah.

Would you rather live in an apartment or a duplex? neither.

Do you like spicy chips? no.

Do you have any ‘different’ keychains on your keys/purse? i guess.

Do you collect pins? sorta. whenever i stay in hotels, i’ll take the pen.

What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? the weeknd.

Do you wear more pink or yellow? neither.

Have you ever been out of the state you were born in? yes.

Do you have any tattoos on your arms? no.

Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? no.

When was the last time you felt jealous? idk been awhile.

What’s the last thing you bought besides food/drink? petrol.

What album is the last song you listened to from? idk.

Who scheduled your last doctor visit? me.

What’s the last video game you played? tekken.

Do you have anything on your wrists right now? my bracelet.

Do you have any holiday theme’d socks? nope.

What kind of accent do you have? australian.

What’s the last funny movie you watched? i forgot.

Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? of course.

Is there anyone who you just absolutely cannot STAND being around? yes.

What is the design on your shirt? it has minnie mouse on it.

Do you know anyone who just flat-out fails at life? no.

Are you a Ghoulscout? no.

Do you know someone who’s just always wrong about everything? haha kinda.

Do you make fun of people often? no.

Do you read your friend’s surveys? none of my friends do surveys.

If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick? i wouldn’t.

How do you feel about band tattoos? it’s whatever.

How much are you willing to pay for a pair of sunglasses? if it has my prescription lens in it, quite a lot.

What is the origin of your last name? spanish, but i’m filipino.

Do you ever use the n-word? no.

What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? none in particular.

What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? i haven’t dyed my hair in years.

What country do you live in? australia.

Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? i did until i could drive.

Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? steak.

Are you any good at applying make up? i guess so.

Do you misuse commas? no.

Have you ever bitten your dentist? no.

Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? no.

Who makes you laugh the most? my boyfriend.

Do you have any plans for this weekend? not sure yet. games night on sunday tho.

Do you crack your knuckles? sometimes.

Coffee or Tea? both.

Do you know anyone named Matt? yes.

Wearing any bracelets? yes.

When were you last outside? 30 min ago.

Do you need someone to cheer you up right now? no.

Are your nails painted? yes.

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? yeah hopefully.

Do you think you’d make a good parent? i hope so!

You start crying. Who do you want by your side? my boyfriend.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? yes.

Did someone screw you over lately? yes.

Would you ever get your hips pierced? no.

If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go? if i didn’t have to spend anything, then yeah.

Who was the first person you talked to today? my bf.

What’s your favorite musical? les miserables.

How do you get to sleep? i’ll fall asleep if i’m tired or i’ll read.

What happened at the last party you went to? eh, idk.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? yes.

What’s your hair like at this present moment? down.

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? lying down for sure.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? idk there’s been a lotttt.

Are you an untidy person? no.

Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? nah, i always preferred bsb.

Do you watch a lot of television? no.

Do you think you’re fat sometimes? yes.

Do you like to flex your muscles? no.

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery? no.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? yup.

Favorite kind of cake: anything moist.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last? boy.

Name something you are doing tomorrow? working :(

Do you sleep on your stomach? yes.

Where are you going to be at 4:00 p.m. tomorrow? leaving home to go to work.

Are you missing someone? yes.

Do you like horror or comedy? comedy.

Who did you last share a taxi with? my bf and friends.

Dogs or cats? dogs.

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon? sleeping.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? yes.

What’s your favorite season? Why? autumn, it’s my perfect kind of weather.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? idk.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? yes.

Who was the last person you hugged? my bf.

Do you think you would be a good parent? wtf lol i swear this survey has asked this three times?

When was the last time you cried? it’s been a couple weeks.

Who was driving the last time you were in a car? me.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? yes.

Do you like your bed? yes.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? yesterday.

How much cash do you have on you? a couple coins, i never carry cash.

Are you tanned? no.

Did you get any compliments today? no.

Have you ever gone to court? yes but to watch my boyfriend graduate as a lawyer.

Do you get jealous easily? no.

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? no.

What are you doing Saturday? idk yet.

What is in your back pocket? no pockets.

What were you doing at 3:00 a.m. this morning? netflix.

What do you usually do first in the morning? check the time.

Are you any good at math? kinda.

Any plans for Friday night? not yet.

Do you have a little crush on someone? more than a crush.

When’s the last time you ran?
 it’s been awhile lol.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? nope.

What are you dreading right now? working tomorrow.

Do you celebrate 420? no.

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? not always.

If anyone came to your house on your “lazy days” what would ya’ll do? lay around, watch youtube, tv shows or movies and pig out.

Who last grabbed your ass? my bf.

Have you ever been on your school’s track team? no.

Do you own a pair of Converse? yes.

Did you copy and paste this survey? duh.

Do you eat raw cookie dough? sometimes.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? no.

Don’t you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? yes.

Do you watch Trading Spaces? no.

How do you eat oreos? by themselves.

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? back in high school yeah.

Are you cocky? yeah.

Could you live without a computer? probably but i’d prefer to have one.

Do you wear your shoes in the house? only downstairs.

Who or what sleeps with you? nothing.

At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? maybe around 7 but i pretended to believe in him.

What do you do when you’re sad? sleep.

Who would you call first if you won the lottery? my family.

Last time you saw your best friend? thursday.

Are you in high school? no.

What jewelry are you wearing? necklace and bracelet.

Is anyone on your bad side now? no.

What’s the first thing you do when you get online? go on youtube.

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? no.

Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? only out on convenience. if it’s cold etc.

Where do you work? casino.

What are you doing tomorrow? working.

Do you return your cart? most of the time lol.

Do you have a dishwasher? no.

What noise do you hear? faint sounds of traffic.

Would you survive in prison? probably not.

Who is the youngest in your family? my cousin.

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likely overpack? me lol.

What’s the last thing you purchased? gas.

Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? yes!

What brand are your pants right now? not wearing pants.

Ever been to Georgia (the state)? yes.

What irritates you most on the internet? buffering.

What brand is your digital camera? canon.

Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? yes.

Are you taking college classes right now? no, i finished.

Do you like sushi? yes.

Do you get your hair cut every month? no, i should though.

Do you go online everyday? yes.

What makes someone a best friend? knowing everything about each other, someone you can rely on and laugh with.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #83

“i’m not afraid of the dark, i’m afraid of what’s in the dark.”

who’s your favorite author?   i don't particularly have one. how do you make your coffee?   i don't.  i hate coffee. what’s the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing?   panicking at a time when i shouldn't have been.  panic attacks in general are just humiliating. do you remember what you dreamt about last night?   YA'LL i had a nightmare that my family and i were in this fucked-up mix of re7 and "the evil within" oh god it was awful how do you feel about wearing leggings in public?   totally fine with it so long you wear your damn size. do you vape?   no do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?   i only enjoy two of their songs and have heard like three.  one of these songs happens to be my favorite song ever tho, so i guess that means something. do you have any male names picked out for future children? female names?   for boys, i really like severin, vincent, victor, and luther.  my daughter, if i ever have one, is 100% going to be alessandra quinn and no i am not compromising lol. have you ever been proposed to?   nope. how much irish do you have in you?   close to 50% ever looked into your family heritage?   no, but someone in my family has and made a huge family tree some years back.  found out we're distantly related to queen victoria and william clark do you think you have ever been in love? if so, with whom?   i don't just think i have been, i know i was with jason. do you like road trips?   as long as i have my ipod, yes. do you tend to waste a lot of money?   i don't get money to begin with, so. do you like someone?   i mean yeah. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?   i have. do you like olive garden?   it's probs my favorite restaurant do you plan on taking your husband’s last name if you ever marry?   yeah. what’s your favorite kind of alcohol?   i haven't drunk much, really, so i don't have much to pick from, but the best one i've ever had was this watermelon margarita thing. ever been in a near death situation? explain:   well, i got in a wreck once, but it was minor; nevertheless, the cops told my mom if she hadn't made one crucial move, we probably would've been flipped over dead.  i also overdosed once, so does that count? what is your biggest weakness?   probably just my insecurity in general. scene kids, opinions?   personally, i find the trend aesthetically pleasing.  i enjoy the style very much.  i'd actually die for scene hair.  but do you, man. how far out of your age bracket would you date?   i probably wouldn't go younger than 21 and no older than 28. have you ever had an std?   nope. is the area you live in more liberal or conservative?   conservative do you keep anything from a past relationship? (gifts, letters, etc)   i've kept literally everything jason's ever given me, and no, i won't get rid of it unless i see practical reason to.  no current partner will change my mind on that; he made me happy once, get over it. are you tan?   i'm pale as fuck what would you do if you were pregnant now?   accept it?  but that's legitimately impossible right now. do you know anyone who’s bipolar?   my half-sister is, my dad probably is, and i either have bipolarity ii or borderline personality disorder. what do you dip your chicken nuggets in?   sometimes honey mustard, sometimes ketchup. is the person you like older or younger than you?
   he's a bit older what would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you?   nothing?  i'm 21, it's not like they have any say in that matter. are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?  yes.  i really want my lip redone, snake eyes on my tongue, then my nose redone, then more holes in my ears again.  as for tattoos, yes, i have many in mind.  i was supposed to get one for my birthday too, soooo... that still hasn't happened. when was the last time someone held your hand?   few days back. if you could have any pet right now, what would it be?   the ball python morph i was supposed to fucking get for christmas.  i have the goddamn money for her, just my mom's being lazy per usual with just buying it already (it was put in her account).  i'm honestly starting to get paranoid she's just used the money by now. do you still pinky promise?   damn right son do you like to be called baby?   no, because i'm not one, i'm a woman who went through hell itself to get to where i am.  don't belittle me. how do you know you love someone, personally?   lol this makes me think of that van halen song that really describes it perfectly: "how do i know when it's love?  i can't tell you, but it lasts forever."  it's hard to explain, you just... know it.  you just have this feeling that doesn't go away, almost no matter what.  you have this unconditional fondness towards someone that few, if any, things can change. would you ditch friends to be with a bf/gf?   if i'd already made plans, no, but if my boyfriend really needed me for crucial reasons, yes, because he comes first. how many true best friends are present in your life?  i don't have a best friend, so. do you currently have a significant other?   yeah. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?  i only "hate" one person, and no, i wouldn't. think of your current or last bf/gf. do you/did you love them?  no, i don't love him yet.  we haven't even been together a month. has anybody ever dated you only for your looks?   lol no way, i don't have "looks" has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?   my ex was criticized by three people, yeah.  and it always pissed me off.  like is it your business, at all?  i'm the one who loves him regardless of how the fuck he looks.  i personally and sincerely was and still am attracted to him anyway, so none of your fucking business. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   "i can't handle your depression anymore," he said.  after three and a half years of having accepted it.  lmao. have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?   mhm. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   with my ex, yeah.  not with my current boyfriend. has anybody said they loved you, but you didn’t love them back?   yeah.  tyler does that now.  first of all i'm just like "um no you don't" because it's been what, two weeks?  i'm not going to say i love you when i know i don't yet. would you ever act as a couple with someone who didn't want to make it 'official'?   NO AND I KNOW TOO FUCKING MANY PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE STOP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET FUCKING PLAYED how many contacts do you have on your phone?  i legitimately only have 14 lol do you have a voicemail?
   no. have you ever taken a pregnancy test?   no. are you jewish?   no. does your ex still think about you?  most likely not. how many songs are on your mp3/ipod?  over 1,000 what’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?   "logan" w/ tyler biggest pet peeve?  being talked to when i am quite obviously listening to music and have no interest in talking.  bit bitchy to say, but just.  don't. do you like the beach?   not that much, to be honest. what smell reminds you most of summer?   the smell of barbeque do you still talk to the last person you made out with?   no, i don't. what do you usually order on a pizza?   jalapenos what would you order if you went to mcdonald’s right now?   mcdouble, medium fry, medium coke. are you obsessed with anything?   i have four things i'd consider legitimate obsessions: rhett&link/gmm, markiplier, meerkats, and silent hill. do you eat your pizza crust?   dude always, it's only the best part. what is the worst pain that you’ve experienced?   physical?  having a pilonidal cyst emptied.  i was seriously screaming and sobbing bloody murder because i was not drugged enough.  they gave me morphine and like five numbing shots all throughout and i was still 100% feeling what was going on jesus christ i will never do that again. who is the most attractive actor?   hm.  probably chris hemsworth. be honest, do you like people in general?   no. do you have a brother?  i have a half-brother do you prefer pepsi or coke?   coke, pepsi's gross. do you ever go hunting/fishing?   fishing, yeah, never hunting.  i couldn't. do you have any tattoos?  i have three. what are the middle names of everyone in your family?  mom and nicole: marie.  ashley: nicole.  dad: john. are you an organ donor?  mhm. would you steal under any circumstance, be it for survival or greed?  i honestly wouldn't be able to unless we were talking an apocalyptic situation where stores and such were abandoned, but products remained there.  but i guess that'd more accurately be called scavenging. what person, living or deceased, would you most like to converse with?  mark fischbach.  he's too inspirational for his own good. have you ever been profoundly affected by a teacher?   coach collie and mr. proctor, yes<3 have you, or do you commit substance abuse?  nope. what was the scariest moment of your life?   the moment after i overdosed and realized what i was doing. what’s your relationship with your sibling/s like?  we barely have one. are you ready for kids now?   definitely not. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it was pierced for years, then the fucking hole closed when i was in the hospital. >~> was your birthday good this year?  lmao no.  i was in a mental hospital.  take your guess. have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating?   no, because if you want that kind of attention from me, you better be dating me first. if your ex said they hated you, you respond with? why?   ha ha ha honestly the first thing i thought of was, "well your dick sure didn't" because facts are facts. have you ever passed out/fainted?  i have. would you rather drown or burn alive?   ... um. do you like to mow the yard?   i don't do it period. who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?   jason. what color is your father’s car?   shit.  i'm not entirely sure.  i think black...? how many pets do you have?   two. do you prefer broccoli or asparagus?   broccoli.  asparagus is gross. skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?   i like 2%.  we drink skim, but it's not my preference. was the last person you kissed physically attractive?   on the lips?  absolutely. now what are you listening to?   a gmm video. how many stories does your house have?   just one. do you get along better with shy/quiet people or confident/outgoing people?   confident/outgoing, if i had to pick just one.  i'm shy/quiet, and i guess opposites attract. outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often.   mark fishbach, link neal, rhett mclaughlin <3 if someone jokes about sex or sexual things does that make you feel uncomfortable?   sometimes in school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?   english when you were a kid, where did you think babies came from?   i thought they came from the mother's stomach, but i didn't know how they got out. what color are the eyes of the person you love or the person you’re currently interested in?   they're brown. was your last facebook friend request from a male or female?   male. think of the last person that betrayed you. if they said they were sorry, would you forgive them?   yes.  but that doesn't mean i'd welcome them back into my life. have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer?   yeah.  3 1/2 years. what ended it, or are you still involved?   he did.  according to him, he couldn't handle my depression anymore and i gave up on life.  i'm finally getting to the point where i almost don't care anymore.  he became a callous, insensitive prick. where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum?   that's fucking gross.  i throw it in the trash like a normal fucking human. what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss?   silent hill.  it's one of my passions that, very surprisingly, i am totally unashamed of and loving talking about it. what is your least favorite topic to discuss?   politics because i don't understand most of it. do you like oatmeal?   i'm picky about it.  i hate it with water, and if you use milk, it absolutely cannot have too much in it or it's disgusting. how many times have your comments been top comments on youtube?   very, very rarely.  i like never comment on youtube unless it's on a friend's video. have you ever tried to make a movie?   no, but i actually wanted to be a movie director once upon a time. do you like the moon or sun more?   moon. do you like turkey or ham more?   ham. have you ever slapped someone’s butt?   i don't think so, but i guess there's a small possibility i have to jason just to fuck with him?  oh wait, yes i have, i did it once playfully to chelsea and she moaned loudly lol. do you think dimples are ugly?   no, i think they're cute. do you like zebras?   yeah, sure.  they're very cute and so unique. who was the last person you talked to on skype/video chat?   we didn't use video, but sam.  brother from another mother. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the last person you kissed?   i just found jason attractive in general, but i guess his face in general.  he has a somewhat stern, but oddly attractive expression as his baseline. would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well?   yeah. what’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had with a significant other? you don’t have to go into detail, just talk briefly about it.   him leaving. do you have any traits that you obviously inherited from your parents?   i pace like my dad. what’s your favorite thing from olive garden?   spicy shrimp fritas have you ever thought of killing yourself?   i didn't just think of it, i attempted because i'm fucking dumb. what’s your grandma’s name?   maternal, cecelia.  i actually don't remember my paternal's. where did your last ex ask you out?   well, we were actually texting at the time.  both of us were at home. do you know any german words?   lots, yeah. what is the cutest animal?   meerkats!  especially the pups! have you ever held a starfish?   no, but that'd be cool. what is something that reminds you of your ex?   many, many things.  but i think more than anything, the song "easy to love you" by theory of a deadman has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?   no. which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?   chocolate bc i am honestly a fatass. do any of your followers on tumblr have your phone number?   on my main blog, one.  not on this one. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?   well, i love and like two different people.  i love jason, and i just find his face to be attractive in general.  i like tyler, and he has a cute smile. have you ever had mono?   no.  older sister has, though. do you prefer just water, or do you like to put in crystal light, ect?   neither, really.  i don't like water, and artificial sweeteners give me a headache. were you ever addicted to sims?  ever addicted, no.  but i really enjoyed the animal-oriented sims once. ever been to prom?   twice. what kind of music do you like?   mostly heavy metal. have you been to any concerts? if so, which ones?   alice cooper, yeah. what level do you play on guitar hero?   i do a mix of hard and expert now.  i used to get no lower than like 94% on expert when i played it a lot. what did you want to be when you grew up?   first an archaeologist, then a vet, a movie director, a game designer... do you have a pool?   no. is your last name unique?   no. do you know anyone colorblind, or slightly colorblind?   jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors. do you like pink?   yeah.  it's like my second favorite color. do you prefer rainbows or stars?   rainbows. would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?   aquarium what is your favorite planet in our solar system?   saturn! what element do you feel most connected to?   water describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another?   white ballroom gown with a sweetheart top and a cathedral veil.  will never be able to afford it, though. what medication do you dislike the most?   the ones that dissolve on your tongue. what skill do people often compliment you on?   artistic skills. if you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?   mark fischbach, and about positivity. what is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?   *shrugs*  if i really think about it, i think there are people that understand every aspect about me. what do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night?   light candles, play the gameboys. what’s your favorite coke product?   coke do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators?   me, a little bit. do you like country music?   nope. ever seen a jellyfish?   in aquariums, yes. do you think you were raised well?   yes, generally.  we should've been given more chores, but w/e. do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE?   yes. how do you handle stress?   i panic. do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?   HA HA HA YEAH RIGHT kids then marriage or marriage than kids?   hey, 90% of people, fucking get married first. do you think best friends can be replaced?   "replaced," no.  they can change, yeah, but not replaced. your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?   if it was jason, i'd greet him; tyler, i'd honestly just tell him to take a hint and leave me alone. your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your friend, who are you mad at?   both, obviously? why do some guys lie about not being virgins?   because of the pressure and stereotypes put upon them. would you ever stay with a cheater?   NOPE do you like wine?   i've never tried it, but knowing that it's bitter, i hiiighly doubt i'd like it. have you ever been pregnant?   no. are there too many teens getting pregnant?   one teen is too many. do you like obama?   i don't know much about him as a president, but i do know he's pretty funny. where was your first kiss?   on jason's bed. have you ever gone to a grocery store late at night? what did you get?   i'm guessing you mean really late at night?  yeah.  a few months back when i had my cyst, mom and i drove to walmart at like 4 am because i was in so much pain; i couldn't sleep. what’s the best name you can come up with for a snake?   i like crowley. ;v; do you think fish are cute?   some, sure.

[emmy1dwriting]

Another Man Hurts You - Preference

*Request for anon:  Imagine/one shot for each Boy where he is your bf but some other guy hurts you (ex, random guy, etc.)*

Other Writing

A/N: I apologize in advance if these are very similar or like other things I’ve written or if it’s just sucky in general, haha. 

Liam:

You look in a deep breath, looking over at your boyfriend as he smiled brightly conversing with all his old friends. You both had been invited to a party at the local club and despite not being one for these kinds of things, tagged along anyway to support your boyfriend. You sat alone in the corner, having seen no one you knew, and not wanting to annoy your boyfriend as he caught up with old friends. You tried to ignore the clearly intoxicated people around you as you focused on your phone, wishing you could just be with Liam. You  didn’t mean to sound like a drag, and you really didn’t want to sound like all you wanted to do was go home, but you couldn’t deny the night would be a bit more enjoyable with another friend or two to talk with. You put your phone into sleep, shoving it into your back pocket as you made your way outside, desperate for some fresh air. Your wrapped your leather jacket tighter around you when the cold chill hit your skin.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone.” You jumped as the thickly accented voice reached your ears, and felt a large hand twist around your waist. You laughed nervously, taking a step sideways to get out of his arms. He only moved closer, his fingers gripping tighter as you grew increasingly more uncomfortable.

“Shitty boyfriend you have for leaving you to yourself, I could treat you better,” his slurred words fell from his lips as they pressed against your neck. You grew even more tense, pushing hard against his chest.

“Please leave me alone,” you mumbled a little louder. You were always too compliant in these situations, too nervous to speak out or fight back.

“So polite,” he chuckled in reply, not letting up despite your struggles.

“I said to STOP!” You screamed out, twisting every which way. The strange man had enough as he held a bruising grip to your wrist, twisting your body and slamming you against the brick wall with a grunt. You cried out in pain, trying to get the man’s hands off of your bare skin. You immediately slumped to the concrete as the man was ripped away from you, your boyfriend’s face appearing through your tear clouded vision. Your attacker ran off, not daring to put up a fight with Liam.

“I’m so sorry baby, god I’m a bloody idiot for leaving you alone,” he picked you up wrapping his arms protectively around you as you tried to hold back your flood of tears when your fear had settled.

“Did he hurt you badly?” His words were laced with every bit of worry imaginable, as he examined your body. His heart dropped when his eyes landed on the forming bruise on your head, and red wrist.

“Let’s get you home darling,” he whispered holding you close by your waist as he helped you to the car.

Harry:  When your relationship with Harry began to grow serious, it was a given that you would meet his other band mates soon after. You and the boys were two extremely important things in Harry’s world and the thought that you all wouldn’t get along made him more nervous then he would like to admit. It was clear that he had nothing to worry about the moment you opened the door to greet them with the biggest hug and smile.. All the boys adored you, but no matter what you did or how you acted Zayn was the only one who seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you. It never bothered you much at first, having been assured by Harry that he would warm up to you soon enough, but you grew more and more discouraged as the time passed on. You became frustrated the more you heard the excuses he would make to avoid the events and parties you were both invited to. Things never escalated much, he spent most of the time ignoring you if the two of you happened to meet, with the occasional rude comment thrown in if he was feeling grouchy. You were getting fed up with him, having gone through every possible reason he could dislike you so much you were determined to talk with him and get to the bottom of it. Harry had invited all of the boys to hang out at his place for the night, and while the rest of them were scattered around doing various things they had left you two alone. You never liked confrontation so when the time came to actually speak up your words got caught in your throat, heart hammering against your chest. 

You finally let the words fall from your lips, “Why do you hate me?” Your voice was muffle against the pillow you held tightly to your chest. When he didn’t reply you lifted your head speaking louder as you repeated yourself. The only reply you received was a short chuckle from him, as if the answer was obvious and your question was ridicules. “I’ve done nothing but be kind to you and you treat me like shit,” you muttered irritably.

“That’s the thing you’re just so annoying and so-” he paused as if trying to find the right word, “fake.” Your eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, turning to meet his gaze, he thought you were annoying and fake?

“You act like you’re some peppy cheerleader in high-school and it gets on my nerves. What does Harry even see in you when you’re so childish?” He kept going with his insults only stopping to take a breath. You chewed your lip nervously, blinking harshly as you refused to let him see you wipe the tears from your cheeks. You had thought the same thing a million times before, constantly asking yourself what Harry saw in you, afraid you were just a nuisance. The other boys came in each carrying a bowl of snacks from the kitchen, completely oblivious to the conversation that just happened. You stood up from your seat pushing past the boys as you made your way to Harry’s room. You ignored the various questions of what happened, and you shut the door as their bickering reached your ears. You decided your time was spent best up here alone. 

Niall: 

When Niall got the call he immediately went into a panic at the sound of your sobs ringing through the phone.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” His voice threatened to raise to a shout, desperate to find out what was wrong and what he could do to fix it. You gasped for breath, trying to calm down but all you could manage were a view blubbering words.

“Where are you baby, I’m coming to you right now,” he grabbed his keys rushing out to his car, patiently waiting for your reply. You manged to mutter out a simple “Home”, and  he assured you he would be there as soon as he could and he would stay on the phone with you.

“Hey, I’m right out front darling,” he pulled up into your driveway, trying to steady his breathing and refused to let his mind wonder to the worst case scenario. 

“C-can you come around back?” You stuttered around too afraid of him confronting your father. You crept your way downstairs when he agreed, opening the door leading out into the backyard. Niall gasped when he saw the state you were in; busted lip, swollen eye, bruised arm, and cuts scattered across your face. He immediately pulled you in close, rubbing soothing circles around your back, 

“Who did this to you?” His voice was laced with every ounce of concern, his heart breaking at the thought of anyone hurting you. You clutched tightly to Niall’s white t-shirt, not wanting to think about the events that just occurred.

“M-my father,” you whispered, voice muffled by your boyfriends chest. Niall tensed at your confession, anger rushing through him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down for your sake.

“Hey, lets get you all fixed up okay darling.” He kissed your forehead softly, leading you inside your house. 

Louis: 

You clutched tightly to Louis’ hand, not daring to let go in the large crowd of flashing cameras and screaming fans. You palms were sweating and your legs shaking as you both tried to push through. You were never good with large crowds, and that anxiety was making itself very present in this moment. Louis squeezed your hand reassuringly, noticing how tense you were becoming. You both tried to ignore the questions about obvious rumors that seemed to be spreading like wild fire.

“Louis, Louis over here!”

“Louis, are you having a child with Y/N?”

“When’s the wedding?”

“Y/N, who was that guy you were seen with earlier in the week?”

Your breathing became ragged, as the crowd seemed to grow closer and closer with every question. You didn’t have time to laugh or roll your eyes at the questions being asked, you were desperate to get safely into the car. You let out a scream off shock as one camera man reached out to grab you. When you managed to get out of the man’s death grip you instantly stumbled into another, who pushed you against a man beside him. You could feel yourself shutting down, as you were pushed around even more. You tried to regain focus on Louis, tears threatening to spill down your cheek. Your vision was growing blurry, your brain not registering you were falling to the ground. Louis’ shouts and screams to move back and give you space were the last thing you heard before your vision grew black.  

Zayn: 

You wanted to enjoy a nice night out with your boyfriend, not run into your abusive ex, but here you were. You were strolling through the park after a nice dinner for two at your favorite restaurant. Zayn had been so busy for the past few weeks you were thankful for even a few hours with him. You thought he had seen the all too familiar figure, you wish you could forget, out of the corner of your eye, but convinced yourself your mind was just playing tricks on you. Your suspicion was confirmed when you felt your boyfriend visibly tense up at the approaching figure. Your heart began beating violently, a million different ways this could end racing through your mind, the worse ones seeming to stick in your head. 

“Z-zayn can we go?” You whispered urgently clutching tighter to his tattooed hand. He immediately nodded, turning around to avoid any conflict. Your hopes were crushed when the gruff voice met your ears, only coming closer. 

“Well, well well what a lovely surprise to see you here,” he smirked stepping around to face you. You tried to steady your breathing as you meet his gaze. 

“Leave her alone you bastard,” Zayn seethed pulling you closer to his side. 

“Is this the man replacing me? Nice try babe, you can do better.” He chuckled as he eyed Zayn up and down, obviously not pleased with what he saw. He took a few steps closer, his smirk still plastered on his mouth. 

“Anyone is a step up from you, I can assure you that and don’t you dare call me babe.” Your confidence was slowly coming back with your boyfriend by your side. “Come on lets go,” you mumbled softly tugging Zayn gently as you both turned around towards home. You gasped as you felt a harsh grip on your wrist tugging you roughly against his chest.

“I wasn’t done talking to you,” your ex seethed, his grip only growing tighter as you whimpered softly. You took a deep breath as he was ripped away from you and pushed to the ground.

“Lay your filthy hands on my girl again and I swear it’ll be the last thing you do,” Zayn growled as your ex scrambled to get up, running away at his last warning. Your tense shoulders relaxed as the figure disappeared, thankful for Zayn’s protection. 

If you want a part two just let me know!