#my poor pc3< /div>
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My ssd drive is completely full. Not too surprised since I scanned a lot of negatives I got back from the lab recently, and I am in need of a new drive (I have so much stuff omfg) so I got a bigger ssd which my dad made a clean install of Windows on. Yay!
BUT just when I thought I had everything under control, my trash-backup-ish disk "died" (I'm shocked it held on for this long tbh hahaha). Everything I had on there is stuff I have on my C:\ drive so it's not pure panic, but I downloaded Diskdrill to see if I could get it all back (instead of trying to figure out what I had on it, my memory is pure shit) and somehow it even found files I had deleted???? I found a BUNCH (if not all) of the files I downloaded off of carrigon's site some years ago before her 4shared files died. Fingers crossed they aren't corrupt when I restore them, and I can upload them to packrat!
#just me rambling#diskdrill found a total of 1.19TB of files......#it was on all night#my poor pc</3#if my C:\ disk died and I had no backup - my life would end#seriously#I would cry forever hahhaahha#but all is good#I have a backup of my main drive on my netgear nas server#so even if it died all is ok
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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even on low-to-mid settings it's so preddy...
#i'll have to crank em up a bit and enable strands hair to get some pretty pics of ylva <3#she is also pretty as is but only the best for her u.u#laya plays dav#i'm so glad that my pc can manage the game but it IS complaining lol#(i'm not at min settings yet so i should be fine to go lower if it gets too tough for my poor guy)
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gonna lose my mind actually. i want the yeonjun figure from his album SOOOOO badly its so cute GUHHHHH. look how cute </3 GUH....
#num speaks#im too poor to afford the album#but I WANT IT.#yeonjun figure.... ough.... come to me#one day ill buy the album trust#just not anytime soon unfortunately </3#i want to continue collecting albums again... why poor.... why do things cost money....#i dont even have minisode 3: tomorrow GUH#anyway. GGUM FIGURE... COME TO ME#and then when i get that album im guaranteed to finally get a yeonjun pc.#hes the only member i dont have rn#i dont have a single yeonjun pc thats so sad.#ive got two of each i think?#im gonna check actually.#ok so two soobin#three beomgyu shockingly#two taehyun#and two kai <3#both of my kai pcs are him with blond hair HAHA#anyway why is yeonjun avoiding me </3 ive got his postcards and stuff but no photocards </3
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really appreciate the way the lowest quality graphics are called "performance" and "ultra performance" instead of like. "lowest" or "hell graphics for shitty pcs" or "pixel shortage simulator", which is what I'd have called them
#i play on ultra performance and my pc still struggles to run the game btw this isn't me shitting on poor ppl#it's me shitting on the horrible conditions ill subject myself to in order to kiss wyll ravengard 5 times a day#idk if it's what it's called for every videogame or if it's a bg3 thing so#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#overflowing trashcan
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Ohhhhhh, MHW is on sale 👀 Both on pc and console~
Half tempted to buy it on pc since no "you have to pay extra to play with your friends" bullshit, but then again I've already cleared the main story on console and am just missing the dlc 🤔
#neri.txt#“just get the new one” uhhhhh no thanks#call me old if you want but i will not be paying 70€ for a videogame#so i'll check it out in 3-5 years when it's less than half of that#but yeah uh#i'm not sure how much i'd play with others#i mean i already fuck my poor palico up so bad with my very irresponsible hammer usage#so i'm not sure if i should really get it on pc too#and i'd have to redo all my current progress#most of it goes pretty fast but i'm not looking forward to mr pickle farming :/#(i mean i need to still do some of it on console to but like. way less)
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i'm a simple man, sometimes i want to see whitney being brutally raped in the ubrothel, other times i want to see him raping certain pcs of mine or beating them up until they're pulp. most of the time though i'm both
#i hate that man he's awful. he's one of my fave LIs tho<3#(i'm also legit unable to actually dismiss him even if it would fit my pc's story bc 1. i will miss him 2- i would feel AWFUL)#(whitney's fate after his dismissal is the worst... poor guy)#bunny talks#dol#noncon.
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youtube
Gettin back to editing with a match that's close to my heart Been stepping things up and last season showed some promising results!
#nocturne shenanigans#splatoon#splatoon 3#I don't ramble on twitter very much when I post these things but LORDY#It may look simple but making these is a lot more complicated than it looks#each message is personal I have to dig for it#I watch every match I post repeatedly to make sure it's something I feel is actually worth showin off#I spend a good few hours AT LEAST goin over which songs to use#and I don't slap just any old songs each one is special to me in some way#or one that I really REALLY like#and I gotta make sure it's timed right too#if not then I gotta find an alternative or extended it myself which is a whole other can of worms#and slappin it all together takes a bit of work too#THIS ONE BUGGED OUT AND CRASHED MY POOR PC 3 TIMES#so being an editor calls for being a bit of a tech head too#but I still love what I do even with all this on my back#Youtube
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["We are both loser, baby ♪"]
[AAAAAAAAAH, I love this series and the song with Angel and Husk j0j So i just take a scene that i really likee damn]
[Husogi belong to me!]
[Background and if Husogi was alone heh ->]
[And the reference/scene]
#art#drawing#oc#husogi#loser baby#Hazbin hotel reference#<3#GOOOSSSH NO MORE#My poor pc almost crashed-#Outfit design#Husk and angel dust song#REFERENCE OC_HUSOGI/ARTDOODLES
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dragon age discourse but. even if i have considered a cousland dao playthrough because i love alistair and i kind of do want a happy ending with him, i also think that "fem warden cousland marries alistair and becomes queen" or i guess also "male warden cousland marries anora and becomes king" tho fewer people seem to play that is probably one of the most boring storytelling choices you could end up with lmfao
#also like. happy endings are overrated imo. i love my dragon age pcs but i also need them to suffer at least a bit#only one of my 3 canon pcs ended the game still in a relationship with her love interest (tbh poor hawke has suffered enough) but i like a#bittersweet ending. i think da2 and dai have inherently more ambiguous/bittersweet endings but there is a much wider variety in how dark th#dao ending can be and for that reason i think going with the fluffiest and imo most generic one#feels like a narrative misfire. and i didn't even go super dark but my warden ends the game#estranged from her sister and having had an ugly breakup with her boyfriend. but she saved the world!
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Rises from the dead just to share with you guys this super duper cute 20cm Sakura doll I custom-ordered from @cocopines (twitter || instagram) !!!
Super grateful to her for allowing me to be her first customer. She's been super fantastic at providing suggestions/advice whenever needed even during my design draft stage, and extremely proactive in making sure I'm okay with every change and the embroidery and materials!!
Coco also very kindly made an exception and gave the OK to clothes customisation because I just very badly wanted F/HA!Sakura (and ImaginaryAround!Sakura, but we don't talk about that yet) ;w; God knows how many pictures of Sakura I sent her way even though she wasn't familiar with the fandom at all.
Especially when I suddenly decided that I'd also like to have a butterfly embroidery on her chest!!! bless her soul for agreeing to it when it wasn't stated at the start
the quality of the doll is really good (please look at her little heart paws!!) and even the outfit was done really well. I was initially a bit worried how the sleeve would look, but it is 100% perfect, even the clasp and everything. please i adore this so much 😭😭💕💕
Please consider commissioning her for your doll needs too! She does other sizes like 10cm dolls too~ I comm'd her for two 10cms too!
▸▸Details can be found here (carrd || twitter)
#cocopines#stfu miko#cocos doing everything by hand too and im just like wow i wish im that talented#im really poor rn bc tbh i ordered 3 dolls from her#but sakura's my first fandom doll of the 3!#i had to sit down then bc i realise i truly do love matou sakura even after YEARS#like despite whatever fandom i am in when i want to custom order one (1) doll for myself i picked matou sakura in a heartbeat#AND plus im considering imaginaryaround!sakura and dark sakura too#and potentially HFepilogue!sakura#im so dead#also look at the keychains on the left; i happened to get them off a secondhand shop at 4bucks/pc#really good purchase !!#PLS LOOK AT HOW CUTELY HER HAIR IS CUT FROM BEHIND !!!
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I have decided to undertake making a fanfiction about Baldurs Gate 3 to cope with not being able to play the game myself because the hardware is too strenuous for my almost 11 year old desktop. However, I have run into a mild setback on my progress.
There are only so many YouTube clips I can use to reference and not every conversation between the origin characters is on the wiki for easy viewing.
So, I'm making this post in hopes people can dump miscellaneous information onto me. Stuff like character banter. Mostly stuff about the companions since character/relationship development will be a central point in this fic. I already know plenty about Astarion thanks to all the people uploading stuff online (and honestly would love more), but I would love more info on the other characters. I've been doing my own research, but it would be great to have an inside source or two from people who have actually played the game.
If you have any interest in helping me with this, feel free to direct message me!
#astarion#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion fanfic#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#fanfiction#ao3 writer#dms open#dm me#give me information#faerun#dnd lore#dnd#please dm me#relationship#character study#my poor computer#old pc
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I have SO MUCH actual job work today and dumb, feral brain is like "I'm reeeeady to write, hoe! Boot up the smut writing machine!" And I just gotta sit here in Zoom meetings, talking to clients, and sending business emails with a brain full of elf dick.
#life is unfair#i have chapters for 3 fics competing to be written right now#A Personal Blessing keeps winning thess fights#but my Shadowheart fic just has one chapter left#and poor Unworthy needs an update so badly#cant someone just adopt me?#im tired of girlbossing#just make me a real nice terrarium and make sure i habe a nice bed#good food and enough juice#and a nice gaming pc and ergonomics so i dont hurt myself#screaming in adult ADHD
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I still don’t know if it was a bug with just using strong male body, but in a previous run when I did the Haarlep scene and it has this moment after you’ve undressed where it pans behind the player. And it did that and it was genuinely a sweeping shot of my poor durge’s nuts from behind and it was so jarring.
This happened over a month ago and I still think about it sometimes because that is a very funny shot to have in a cutscene, but I also don’t know if it was on purpose
#the amount of cutscenes that are broken from using body type 4#multiple are just straight up 3/4 of the screen is this guys shoulder because he is so big#i briefly had a clip of that sweeping shot on my pc but physically couldn’t keep it because it was such a crazy clip#if that was intentional#then Larian are the funniest people#if not. my poor durge#bg3
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me when I only had 46 dollars in my account until spotify charged me 12 dollars and then discord charged me 9 dollars then paramount 9 dollars and then I remembered I got locked out of my Amazon account and they're going to charge me 22 dollars for a subscription I can't cancel and I don't even have the money for it
#text#valkyrie.txt#thank god for having a boyfriend bc he gave me money and bought me dinner also but im so stressed OUTTTT#because i only have 1 four hour shift this week and only 3 shifts next week n like only 17 hrs of work n im like#PUHLEAAAAAAASSSE#but i also dont want more because I HAAATE WORK BUT PUHLEAAAASE#im so poor. aplease. I NEED#i dont even use amazon....or discord nitro or paramount#wtf freaking subscriptions!!#i owe my bf so much money he paid to fix my phone our airbnb and bought me microsoft on my pc#i cant..at this rate im buying the whole next plane ticket to Pay him back
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matching fits for hunting cultists
#baldur's gate 3#karlach#oc: mar#<- ye she evolved into an oc instead of being just my tool to experience the game#funny how that happens in every rpg i play#don't mind some of mar's left hand textures being dragged down to hell#my poor pc can barely run the game in the city
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