#my poor choice of living in the 'party' apartment complex

[uselessgaywhovian]

so how's everyone else's saturday night going

[the-queerview]

Blue Jean (2023)

directed by Georgia Oakley

A lesbian drama placed in Margret Tatchers late 80s England. Jean is a closeted gym teacher living two lives between punky lesbian bar and teaching girls fake basketball. Last night my partner taught me that there were softer versions of sports like basketball or handball for women due sexism...like as an example netball which is like basketball but "softer"..

Jean got a new student Lois, who she encounters at the lesbian bar of her choice, scared about loosing her job, she threatens the young, gay student to be silent about her sexual identity. The young student is bullied by her teammates and the main bully kisses her in the shower, and portrayed it as sexual misconduct, which Jean saw while watching them in the shower ( CREEP*). Afterwards the student gets kicked out of school and starts working a shitty job. Jean is lying about Louis truth ( she obviously didn't assault the bully) to save her own ass. Parallel the actually beautiful side story between Jean and her dyke gf Viv ( which is my favorite character of the film) falls apart, when Viv realizes that Jean is clearly fucked in the head and won't be open about their love and is to afraid to be herself, besides NOT communicating her feelings and needs.

Jean followed Lois like a stalker (like leave that 15 year old alone bro that's not cool) but not to apologize but to tell her how bad she feels about being a coward and ruining Lois school career?

The film ends with Jean bringing Lois to a lesbian party, where they do fundraising for poor Lesbians, since they support each other.

okay now the roast.

Well i have to say, i liked the actresses, they did a good job with that. I clearly think Jean is a terrible role model and I'm tired of weird ass lesbian portraits. like do they always have to be such freaks?? like thinking of the the austrian lesbian drama "The Ground Beneath My Feet" (2019) by Marie Kreutzer. Like it's always a weird ass cliche or is it me? maybe as being a freak myself I crave for different representations.

In this film we know, that it took many brave women and queers to raise their voice, so I can walk basically. Why telling the story of the ones, that weren't brave enough or just casually ruined other queers live to save themselves? i guess to tell this story is also valid and important, but the way the movie did it, was build up in a way, that I have to feel empathy for Jean, but I don't. I'm actually angry and disappointed and feel that Jean ruined Lois life, since she was suspended. We don't know about Lois economic background, but since she starts working immediately, we can grasp that Lois won't have a second chance. How are Lesbians supposed to change the world and be visible, if they stay invisible trough gatekeeping by other lesbians. And then the Lesbian with the fancy flat chain smoking, brings you to a fundraiser party of poor lesbians????

I feel the director was interested to portray a complex search for identity, and thou its beautifully filmed, I struggle with the time span of the film, the use of a young, vulnerable person, without any big character development.. but hey maybe its that.. everyone else besides Jean in the film feels slightly not important, because in jean's world Jean is important..

It's Georgia Oakley second long film. I didn't watch Bored by her, but I will check out. Born 1988 Oakley choose they year, where she was born for her Drama blue Jean.

Jean finds a books at Vivs place, when she cant sleep. Its called Radclyffe Hall’s The Well of Loneliness, and deals with a lesbian epidemic. Excited to dig into that.

your comments welcomed below<3

[hiccanna-tidbits]

The RotBTD+ Gang Plays DnD! (Feat. my ships, sorry not sorry XD)

So highkey I’ve actually been wanting to do a “The Gang Plays DnD” type post for AGES now, but then I saw @hobie-brown and @ohlooksheswriting-wips do DnD AU posts for RotBTD, and then I was like “Ah shit, I really should finish mine, eh?” So thank you to both of you for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write the post!!!

Hiccup DMs. He comes up with this super complex plot revolving around dragons (because of course) where the party has to dismantle this society ruled by evil knights who want to genocide all of the dragons. Imagine his chagrin when the party wants to do nothing but fuck around in towns and aggravate NPCs 90% of the time.

They usually end up playing at Jack’s apartment, mainly because Hiccup’s dad doesn’t really want a bunch of loud nerds yelling about 20-sided dice in his household while he’s trying to work, if he can at all help it. Jack’s sister regularly barges into their living room and roasts the fuck out of Jack and his friends for being such damn nerds and eats all of their DnD snacks they’ve set out. If they’re in the middle of a combat session, she always gleefully proclaims that they’re all going to die. While Jack is annoyed by this, the rest of the party finds it deeply hilarious.

Jack Overland plays the absolute mayhem warlock Jack Frost, who got his powers through making a deal with the archfey Prince of Frost and has absolutely no qualms about being an evil god’s mortal Sower of Chaos. He spends the vast majority of the campaign doing such useful things as creating ice slicks under annoying NPCs and freezing people’s drinks. He also plays a Tiefling because absolutely no one can talk this boy out of playing the creepy demon race.

Rapunzel plays a woodland nymph druid who is also the party healer (because of course she is). Her name is probably Sunlily or something else suitably hippie-esque. Whenever there’s downtime (or whenever the rest of the party is also dicking around, and she can get away with it), Rapunzel likes to go into the nearest forest and pick the best berries and nuts for the rest of the party. She also loves baking fruit pies and cooking the best nymph food for her companions when given the chance. Definitely the party Cinnamon Roll (every party has one!). She often will turn into cute animals to distract the guards while the party infiltrates a building.

Merida’s character is the party archer and general ranged weapon master, as well as a raging lesbian. Hiccup learns very quickly that any male NPC who tries to flirt with her will very quickly get impaled with an arrow. She can’t ever decide if she wants to be a ranger or a rogue, so she multiclasses in both for flare. She also plays a Tiefling, and continually insists that her character is both scarier and sexier than Jack’s. In combat, she either Leeroy Jenkins her way in with a sword and just starts slashing every which way, or just shoots 90% of the enemies with arrows before the fight even starts. There’s really no in between. She can get away with this because she’s highkey one of the party tanks, and consistently deals a shitton of damage.

Anna plays a human bard, basically having read over the class options and going “Wait, in this one I get to make stylish medieval music??? And wear dramatic and garish outfits and a dumb hat??? And cast wacky illusion spells??? And do silly little magic tricks??? And INSPIRE EVERYONE??? Hell yeah, I’m in!!!” She mostly uses magic attacks in combat (definitely favors Tasha’s Hideous Laughter), but occasionally when she’s out of spell slots she’ll just take to slamming enemies in the face with her lute. She also has WAY too much fun with Vicious Mockery, let’s be real.

Elsa, upon hearing Jack’s character concept, rolls her eyes so far up in her head she can see her damn brain, and vows to play his concept, but serious–solely out of spite. She rolls up a super OP elf Chaos Sorcerer, filled with lots of brooding angst about how uncontrollable her winter powers can get if she isn’t careful. She combines it a bit with Storm Sorcerer so she can create literal blizzards, and Hiccup ends up allowing it just because he thinks it’s cool. Although Elsa’s character is undoubtedly aggravated by the rest of the party’s antics, she starts becoming grudgingly protective of these idiots and can deal some pretty crazy damage when her companions are threatened. She also contains one of the party’s only brain cells.

Eugene of course plays dashing rogue master thief Flynn Rider. Although his high deception and lockpicking skills certainly come in handy, he’s the most chaotic neutral fucker you’ve ever met and will take any excuse to rob NPCs blind or cheat them out of every cent they have in a tavern card game. It’s nigh impossible to get him to cooperate with the rest of the party much of the time, and often Elsa’s character has to either bribe him with some of her family’s gold or threaten to freeze him to stop him backstabbing one or more party members. Eugene’s character forces Hiccup to add in many more heist plotlines than he originally intended. This delights Eugene immensely, and sometimes he goes a bit crazy planning elaborate heists.

Moana plays a sorcerer water genasi. She can control any body of water, but she has a special affinity for controlling saltwater (i.e. the ocean lol). She also requests an animal handling bonus, but only with marine animals, solely because she thought it would be funny. She’s also an ex-pirate who robbed a lot of wealthy merchant ships and freed their slaves back in the day, which Merida thinks is incredibly badass. Moana tends to get bored and unengaged when there are no bodies of water to play around with, so Hiccup ends up having to add a lot more lakes, rivers, and oceans to the campaign than he originally planned on. Moana also takes a sailing skill, and thus the party often ends up traveling by boat. Typically Eugene and Rapunzel will infiltrate and hijack it, and Moana will sail it. Moana probably contains the party’s only other brain cell.

Astrid plays a gigantic berserker orc barbarian who is never without his trusty axe. Astrid is hands down the party’s top tank, and unquestionably deals the most damage every combat session. Much like Merida’s character, Astrid’s character is absolutely a shameless power fantasy. Hiccup pretty easily picks up on this, but is too polite to say anything about it. Jack also picks up on this, but is hardly as courteous as their DM, and teases Astrid mercilessly. Astrid is not amused.

Rapunzel requests that her weapon of choice be a frying pan, her justification being that her character found a discarded one at the edge of a human village outside her woods and mistaked it for a highly-dangerous human weapon. Hiccup is like “…you know what? Fuck it” and rolls up stats for a goddamn frying pan. Jack has nigh-endless admiration for Rapunzel for choosing such a goddamn memey, absurd, yet oddly effective weapon and it definitely makes the poor boy even more smitten with her than he already is.

Eugene and Merida have a bet going on who can sleep with more sexy barmaids. Merida is currently winning, much to Eugene’s chagrin. She’s not even inherently better at seducing NPCs, she and Eugene have the same charisma stat–she just consistently rolls better than Eugene. Eugene is incredibly salty about this.

Anna and Elsa want to be sisters in-game as well, but neither want to change their race–so Anna decides her character was adopted. Hiccup and the rest of the party go along with it, mainly because there’s something deeply hilarious about a regular human bard being adopted and raised by a family of high-powered elf ice mages.

Astrid is absolutely the sort of player who tends to get bored and restless outside of fights, and tends to fidget and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the next combat session. Jack picks up on this, and purposely does more roleplay for longer just to piss her off. He’s also just a very dramatic fucker and highkey loves roleplay.

When she’s not causing mayhem around the town or sleeping with hot women, Merida tries to entertain Astrid between combat sessions by offering to spar with her. Unfortunately, this does not usually end well for poor Merida, as even the most hardcore and badass of tieflings is prone to getting dumpstered by an 8-foot-tall barbarian orc with an axe. Astrid is, nonetheless, grateful to have someone to fight.

Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana will humor Hiccup and attempt to actually play the main plot. Meanwhile, Jack, Merida, and Eugene are a DM’s worst nightmare. They constantly derail the damn campaign to fuck around, cause mayhem, and do inane shenanigans in every. Damn. Town. They go to. Anna is kind of a wildcard–she’ll typically go with whatever group looks like they’re going to be doing something more interesting. Astrid will go along with whichever group is more likely to get into a fight–which, often as not, is Jack and his posse of terrible Chaotic Neutrals (who have definitely pissed off a number of NPCs into attacking them).

As the campaign goes on, Elsa and Eugene become the beleaguered Party Mom and Dad. Both are quite aggravated by this–especially poor Eugene, who just wanted to play a morally-gray charming rogue who stole everything and got away with it and then accidentally ended up caring about these idiots he got stuck with.

Anna initially joins the campaign because she has a planet-size crush on Hiccup, and inevitably is the one who dragged Elsa into it too. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, Anna writes a love interest into her backstory. Hiccup eventually has the party run into said love interest, and Anna is overjoyed. He starts flirting with her as the love interest, and it’s easily the best 30 minutes of Anna’s life.

Moana and Elsa also give Hiccup pretty detailed backstories, and he works in little subplots for them. Moana gets to bring water back to a dying part of the jungle in the middle of a draught, while Elsa gets to go on a whole sidequest to explore her family history and how they came to be sorcerers.

Jack, Merida, and Eugene also give Hiccup fairly elaborate backstories, but Jack’s and Merida’s are like 99% memes and Dumb Shit. Hiccup tries to give all of them backstory-related plot hooks, but inevitably any hooks he provides are either stabbed, robbed, or frozen. Honestly any plot hook offered to these 3 will be all but spat in the face of and tossed off a cliff.

The one relevant part of Eugene’s backstory is that he and Rapunzel decide they used to be partners in crime before the campaign started. Rapunzel would infiltrate and scout out places he wanted to rob as small, unobtrusive animals (her preferred Wild Shape is a chameleon) and later distract the guards as a bunny or kitten while he went in and took every gold coin in sight. In return, Flynn Rider would bribe builders to not develop into Sunlily’s forest. Rapunzel and Eugene partly came up with this For Funsies, but also it was Rapunzel’s sneaky way of tricking Eugene into having prior connections in the party so he’d be less likely to betray them. It works pretty well–although the entire party is protective of Cinnamon Roll Sunlily, Flynn is certainly especially protective of her.

Astrid does the absolute bare minimum as far as backstories go. She is literally just here to smash stuff, slice people, and beat some fuckers up.

Rapunzel has a backstory, but she’s typically so invested in the main plot and the other party members that Hiccup rarely needs to bring it in to keep her engaged. She’s highkey the party emotional rock, and probably the only one keeping them all together.

On that note, Rapunzel’s character is the ONLY one who can get Jack’s character to take the plot even REMOTELY seriously. Like he’ll be dicking around in the nearest tavern challenging the nearest orc to a drinking game, and Rapunzel will come in and ask him to help them on a Main Plot Quest. And he’ll be like “come onnnnn I’m having funnn” and she’ll be like “Jack pleeeeeease?” and you just. Can’t resist Sunlily’s puppy dog eyes. At all. Also, whenever Sunlily is genuinely threatened, any silliness immediately goes out the window and Jack Frost is OUT FOR BLOOD.

For better or for worse, Rapunzel is not immune to being looped into Jack’s shenanigans. Occasionally if either Merida or Eugene have a particularly hare-brained scheme she’ll go along with it, but by and large Jack is the most successful in convincing her to temporarily abandon the plot and cause mild mischief with him. They once wasted half a session creating an elaborate “ice theme park” for some squirrels in the forest.

Hiccup tries to get Merida to play the main plot by eventually having there be no more sexy female NPCs to seduce in the towns they go to. Unfortunately, this backfires–Merida just hooks up with Moana’s character instead. When asked to roll for how good the lay is, Merida gets a nat 20–and thus her character and Moana’s character end up hooking up regularly throughout the rest of the campaign.

Hiccup introduces a few Wise Old Mentor-type NPCs to guide the party throughout the campaign. While Rapunzel, Elsa, Moana, and Anna actually try to listen to them and take their advice, Merida, Jack, and Eugene absolutely refuse to take them seriously and mercilessly play pranks on them.

At one point, Hiccup gives the party the option to attempt to tame a group of wild dragons and use them as mounts. They all have to make animal handling checks. Anna, Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana pass. The rest of the party fails, with Jack and Eugene crit-failing. Hilarity ensues.

Hiccup ends up bringing back Anna’s backstory love interest as an NPC regular. Anna thinks he’s just being a good friend and a good DM and trying to incorporate her backstory as much as he can, but really, he just wants an excuse to regularly flirt with her. He hardly has the balls to out-of-game.

Merida comes out as gay toward the end of the campaign. Everyone in the group is extremely supportive, of course, but everyone is also like “Merida…with the amount of barmaids you’ve banged…and the amount of times you and Moana’s character hooked up…this isn’t exactly surprising.”

Hiccup actually finds a way to use Jack and Elsa’s same-concept-opposite-execution characters to the plot’s advantage. He decides one of the main villains will have a prophecy saying he’ll be taken down by a powerful ice mage. The party manages to fool this guy into thinking this ice mage is Jack, and sends Jack to fight him. As soon as the villain sees Jack, he’s like “WHAT??? THIS clown???” (word has absolutely spread throughout the land of Jack not using his ice powers for anything besides mildly annoying trolling). Naturally, the bad guy lets his guard down after thinking he’s going to fight this literal joke, and then Elsa crashes in from the side and absolutely dumpsters him.

Jack tries to defeat the final boss by just annoying him so much that he leaves. Unfortunately, he just annoys him so much that he attacks Rapunzel’s character. Jack’s just like “oh HELL no” and attacks with absolutely nothing held back. Turns out he’s pretty terrifying when he’s not using his magic for Dumb Antics.

During the final boss of the campaign, the Big Bad tries to one-shot Moana’s character, and Merida’s character super theatrically jumps in front of her to take the blow instead. Rapunzel just barely manages to heal Merida’s character, but it’s a really close call. During all this, Merida is like “ah shit...maybe I’m NOT just in this to get fantasy-laid.” After the fight’s over, her and Moana’s characters have a big dramatic love confession and share a Big Damn Kiss in front of everyone. It’s pretty epic.

After the final session of the campaign, Merida drags Moana outside Jack’s apartment and sputters and trips over her words for a solid minute before she finally gets out that through all this nonsense...well...maybe it’s not just in the game that she thinks Moana is hot. Moana just gets this HUGE grin on her face and says “c’mere, Leeroy Jenkins” and just pulls Merida in and kisses her. Cue the rest of the party barging in on them. Merida and Moana freeze, and there’s a moment of terrified silence...and then the entire party starts cheering them on like “took you long enough!”

The entire rest of the party could detect the sexual tension. Literally all of them.

But Eugene is like “HA, THIS MEANS IF WE DO A SEQUEL CAMPAIGN I’M WINNING THAT BET! BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE DATING MO’S CHAR AND THUS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANY MORE BARMAIDS!”

By the epilogue session, Jack and Rapunzel are dating. Merida and Moana are also dating. Hiccup and Anna STILL haven’t figured out why they’re so prone to spending half the session flirting when Anna’s love interest shows up, and Hiccup STILL hasn’t figured out why he likes to have Anna’s love interest show up so often. Bless their souls. Maybe they’ll figure it out next campaign...?

Damn I actually really like this...maybe if people like it I’ll do some incorrect quotes or a drabble or something??? Or maybe some HCs from next campaign???

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

Mystery Girl

For the cute @multifandomfix 💝🌹​

Hope you will like this gift!

"No, Gil! Don't tell me you agreed to this!"

"Sorry, Malcolm, but those are the orders of the hierarchy. Besides, having backup can't hurt you!"

The profiler shook his head, annoyed: he didn't need this!

Bright repeated to anyone who would listen that he preferred to profile criminals alone. Why pair him up with a stranger?

Grumbling, the young man nervously ran a hand through his hair. The police didn't want to let him work properly.

JT, one of his friends, patted him on the shoulder and said jokingly:

"Congratulations, Malcolm. You're about to discover an unknown concept: teamwork!

"Very funny, JT."

Dani, his colleague and best friend, tried to make him smile.

"Don't worry: I'm sure you'll be fine. You might even get along with your new partner!"

Malcolm rolled his eyes.

"I think you're very optimistic, Dani. They're going to send me some pimply, snooty kid from the best police academy who's more likely to get in my way than help me!  So, sorry, but I'm not enthusiastic!"

"What do you know? You've never met them!"

At the same time, Gil joined them.

"Bright, your new partner is waiting for you in the office! Try to hide your bad mood!"

Letting out a long sigh of annoyance, Malcolm headed for the room, ranting in anticipation of this unwelcome partner.

"I hope Malcolm doesn't get upset!" muttered JT.

"The way he's in a bad mood, it's not looking good!" whispered Dani.

"Don't worry, both of you. When Malcolm meets our new profiler, I bet he will be different!"

Meanwhile, Bright walked into the room, expecting to run into an arrogant young graduate who would have already criticized his work to no avail without knowing a single detail about the case. Instead, he came across a lovely young woman who was reading the report of the initial investigations.

Forgetting his sour mood, Bright tried to make a good impression on the newcomer. 

Quickly combing his hair and checking his breath, he cleared his throat, attracting the attention of the lady who looked up from her reading.

"Hello," she replied.

Malcolm noticed that she had a lovely voice. Charming must have been her middle name.

Smiling kindly, he introduced himself:

"Hello, you must be the new profiler. I'm..."

The young woman interrupted him with an amused smile.

"I know who you are, Malcolm Bright. I've heard a lot about you."

"Yes, I suppose you've heard that I'm crazy, insufferable, dangerous, and the spawn of a terrible serial killer. Don't bother with that: I hear it all day long!"

Placing the file back on the table, the young woman continued:

"Yes, I've heard that, but those aren't the only things I've heard. I understand that you are intelligent, perceptive, cultured, observant, and stubborn! All in all, an interesting person to work with!"

Bright was surprised!

"Wait, does that mean you asked your superiors to come and work with me?"

"Yes, I did. And from what I can see, you fit the description well: your clothing shows a comfortable lifestyle. I would say that you are very well off financially. 

On the other hand, the paleness of your complexion and the dark circles appearing under your beautiful brown eyes indicate a poor sleep pattern, which can lead to one of two things. 

Either you are an incorrigible party animal, or you are a man whose mind is always racing and troubled by traumatic memories. In your case, I'd go for the second hypothesis. You are a more complex person than most people want to believe."

Crossing her arms, she asked defiantly, a smile on her face:

"Now, Mr Bright, your turn: what can you deduce about me? Apart from the fact that I'm not a pimply little pretentious graduate!"

Malcolm winced: she had heard him!

"I assure you I had no idea who you were. Otherwise, I would never have allowed myself to say such things!"

"Judging without even knowing the people? Big mistake for a brilliant profiler like you, Malcolm!" laughed the young woman.

"Even the best make mistakes."

"If you can give me as much correct information as possible, I'll give you my name. If not, I'll let you search all day. Are you up to the challenge?"

"Challenge accepted. Well, let's see: who are you, mysterious miss?"

He circled the young woman, looking for the slightest detail that might give him information.

After a few minutes of observation, he gave his conclusions:

"From the look of your clothing, you are in a decent financial position. You are not a multi-millionaire, but you make a good living. You like simple, comfortable styles, probably because you like to look elegant and efficient at the same time.

Your posture and stature tell me that you are an athlete. I'd say you've done quite a bit of dancing, but your muscularity shows that you're a martial artist. Am I right?"

"I have a black belt in karate and judo, and I practice taekwondo, as well as ju-jitsu and Muay Thai. And I did a lot of dancing when I was younger."

"Haha! I was right. Well, as for the rest, I'd say you have an excellent photographic memory: you put that file down exactly where you took it. You are also a brilliant observer because you have deduced details of my life just by looking at me. 

I suppose you are an artist in your spare time. I saw in your bag a sketchbook and a box of pencils. Both are well placed, which betrays your meticulous side. 

Finally, I would say that you are a hard-working, kind and mischievous person. Your superiors must appreciate you enough to accept your request to come here. So, what do you say?"

Amused, the young woman clapped slowly.

"Well done, Malcolm Bright. You've lived up to your reputation. Everything you have deduced is correct."

"You will find me delighted. And now, to finish the introductions properly, may I know your name?"

"Of course: my name is (Y/N) (L/N), a certified FBI profiler."

"Pleased to meet you, Miss (Y/N) (L/N). Something tells me we'll work well together."

"That's what I hope."

Hiding behind the door, Gil, JT and Dani were relieved to see that Malcolm and (Y/N) seemed to be getting along well. Now, let's hope that this duo can be effective against the criminals that have New Yorkers on edge.

A few months later.

Sitting on a bench, Malcolm and (Y/N) enjoyed a hot chocolate while enjoying a beautiful autumn day. The two profilers wanted to have a quiet moment, away from the eyes of their colleagues and Malcolm's family! 

"Are you going to tell them the truth about us, or are you going to let them stew for a while longer?" the young woman asked.

The profiler smiled mischievously.

"I think I'll let them work their brains out for a few days before I tell them everything. Just for the fun of seeing their faces when they learn the truth!"

"I didn't know you were such a tease!" joked (Y/N).

For all answers, Malcolm took the young woman's hand in his and placed a kiss on it.

"I'm a man full of surprises, my dear. Just like you!"

"You sure didn't expect me to kiss you first!"

Malcolm pretended to be offended.

"But I thought of it first!"

"Oh, did you?"

"Certainly. Let me prove it!"

The profiler leaned over and kissed his girlfriend on the lips. 

Unfortunately, this sweet moment was interrupted by a ringing mobile phone.

"I think you should pick up the phone!" the young woman pointed out.

Grumbling, Malcolm picked up his mobile phone and picked it up:

"Hello?"

**"Hello, big brother!"**

"Good afternoon, Ainsley. To what do I owe this call?" the profiler asked.

**"I just wanted to let you know that Mum's inviting us to dinner at the house tonight. She's counting on your presence. Is that so?"** asked the reporter.

"I'll be there. It's not like I have a choice!" quipped Malcolm.

**"I'll take that as a yes... Oh, by the way, she'd like you to invite your mystery girlfriend!"**

At these words, the two lovers looked at each other in amazement: would Jessica know?

Controlling his stress, Malcolm replied:

"I don't know what she means, but I don't have a girlfriend!"

**"Oh yeah? Well then, you can tell me who the pretty lady you just kissed lovingly is!"**

Looking around him, the profiler spotted his little sister standing at the other end of the park and waving at him, a smirk on her face.

A little annoyed, Malcolm asked:

"Is your favourite pastime spying on me?"

"I admit it's very distracting. But I promise I won't tell Mum. I'll leave the great honour of making the introductions to you."

"I'm sure you'll be glad to, dear little sister."

"See you tonight, big brother. And give my regards to your lady of heart!" 

When the conversation was over, (Y/N) smiled:

"It seems that someone has found out..."

"And unfortunately, it is my sister."

(Y/N) kissed her boyfriend on the cheek.

"Honey, I can't be your mystery girl forever anyway. They're going to have to know that!"

Malcolm smiled.

"I have to admit, you're right. In any case, my love for you will never be a mystery again."

Now that their secret love affair gets revealed, Malcolm and (Y/N) will have more time to unsolve differents mysteries...

Thanks for reading! 

I hope you enjoyed the story!

Please don’t hesitate to request me a story and see you soon!

Take care! 😍🥰😘

[alreadyblondenow]

Because, I love you

Jaehyun x reader // FLUFF, SMUT, angst? rich kids! au Summary: You’re back and you’re completely a different person. From being rich and spoiled, now you see yourself as someone cheap. Even so, Jaehyun chase you as he tries to win you back even though you’ve been pushing him away over and over again.  Word Count: 4k Warnings: Mentions of poverty, ‘poor’, swearing, unprotected sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of bullying, inferiority complex Note:  -inspired by my current situation. So I hope no one steals this. haha -I’m not mocking the poor -see end for few notes. 

After two years, you’re finally back in town and the word spreads fast. The moment you step down from the train until you arrive at your best friend Aisha’s birthday party you feel every pair of eyes look at you. Everyone is completely shocked and dying to talk to you but they can’t. Because in their eyes, you’re still rich daddy’s favorite daughter. In their eyes, you’re still the same girl who left before you could even graduate high school.

You left without saying anything to your neighbours, friends or even your boyfriend, Jaehyun. The only one who knew about your situation is Aisha, and she swore she will never reveal the true reason why you left.

As you walk to the party, Aisha gave you a big hug giving you a glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage. “You’re back for good, right?��� she asked trying to fight the loud music. “Yes! I’ll start school on Monday” you answer as one of her visitor took her away from you.

Everyone looks familiar but you don’t dare talk them. Not because you think they’re losers, but you feel small in this party. It feels like you don’t belong here. You made your way to the familiar pool side where you and Aisha used to hang out. There you enjoy the silence and the sound of the bubbles from the pool.

“You left, me without saying goodbye and now that you’re back I don’t get a simple ‘hi’”

Jaehyun sat beside you with all his bravery with a drink on his hand. Still handsome as the last day you spend with him. Out of all the people you left in this town, you feel sorry for Jaehyun. He didn’t deserve to be left alone just like that. You’ve been together for four amazing years and you were crazy in love with each other. For sure he got hurt when you left, and maybe he got mad? To be honest you want him to get mad to you, that way it’s easier to fully let go.

“Hi. I’m sorry about that” you try to ignore him and leave but he grabs your arm. “You left me without a word. Aren’t we going to talk about it?”

“No. Stay away from me, people might get the wrong idea” you said, stern and hard.

He brushed his hair using his fingers and pressed his lower and upper lip together. “Fuck until now you make me so frustrated” he scoffed, “Let’s get back together” he blurted out without even thinking.

“What makes you think I want you now?” Jaehyun is really impossible to reason with, he has this ‘I want it, I got it’ attitude that you hate but you’re not letting him win this time.

“Nothing. But I’m certain I still love you. And trying to win you back would be worth it”

“I’m not the same person, Jaehyun” you try to walk away but he accidentally pushed you straight to the pool. Next thing you know you’re both soaked and he offered you a ride home because clearly it’s his fault and you can’t ride the bus with wet clothes.

He was about to drive you to your house. Your old house, the biggest house for the richest family in town. “I don’t live there anymore. I live in a small apartment now” it’s embarrassing but you didn’t have a choice but to tell him the truth.

The drive was quiet, just the way you like it. “Sorry about your car seat, It’s drenched” he gave you his jacket before you get out of the car. “It’s okay, we’ve done a lot of other filthy things here” you rolled your eyes and left him.

He was happy you’re back. He never let himself forget everything about you and now that you’re back he will try to bring back what was taken away from the two of you. That’s how much he loves you.

Now that you live alone, adaptation is important. This town knew you as the rich and spoiled daughter who knows nothing but to shop and go to the coolest parties. Little did they know those two years definitely changed you as a person. Who knew even poverty would look good in you. Kidding aside, now you know how to wash and iron your own clothes, wash dishes, clean the house, cook your own meal. Everything that involves surviving alone.

Today is your first day in college and you’re looking forward to it mainly because of one reason. It’s the start to build a new life. But you saw Jaehyun waiting for you outside your apartment and your day is ruined already.

“Were not doing this Jae” you said as you show him how completely annoyed you were.

“Come on, I’ll take you to school” he offered with a big smile, showing off his dimples.

“We don’t go to the same college, idiot”

“I know, I just want to spend time with you. Please get in the car or I’ll scream how much I love you” you can’t believe he threatened you and you can’t believe you got in his car. You told him what happened last night is a mistake, and you were never planning to be friends with him just because you’re back. But of course he just shrugged it off and gave you a grande coffee from Starbucks.

It’s sweet how Jaehyun still remembers old habits, but it’s not you anymore. As he drive you to your school, you can’t stop being embarrassed again because it’s a public university but of course you don’t tell him that. “Thanks for dropping me off, uhm please stop this. Whatever you’re planning it’s-“ he cut you off, “I’ll pick you up at 5” he said with a mocking smile that makes your blood boil.

First day is first day. Classes from 7am to 5pm, new friends, a list of expensive books to buy, a quick tour around the university, and annoying Jaehyun waiting for you. “You’re unbelievable Jaehyun” you said a little angrier than ever, “Ugh- I need to go to the public library. Go home!” you don’t know what’s gotten into his head but he continues to pry. “I’ll study with you” he said as he runs off behind you, following you until you’re both sited at the library.

Focused and busy, you can’t believe he’s actually studying with you. You found of that he pursued engineering, and he’s already in his Junior year and actually doing really good. Deep down you’re proud of him.

As you continue studying in advance for a few subjects, you can’t figure out Math and it’s giving you a headache already. Jaehyun noticed that you’re kind of stuck to what you’re solving. So he offered help, he left a note in front of you that say’s, ‘I can help you with that’ You mouthed the word, ‘how’ and he made his own way to teach how to solve the problem, which actually really helped you.

‘Thank you’ you forced a smile. He winked back. Fucking Jung Jaehyun.

After studying, he drove you home and the ride was still quiet like the last time. He was incredibly a big help today, and you wanted to be nice just so you can return the favor. “I don’t have a choice but to be nice to you today. Do you want to eat something before you leave?”

He let out a small laugh, something that made you think he’s thinking about something dirty. And it’s clear as the night sky that he was thinking about eating you. “Forget I asked, you may leave and never come back again” you got out of his car and he quickly did the same thing, apologising over and over again as he follow you to your apartment.

The moment you invite him in, he was surprised to see your place to be so small. There’s no other room other than the bathroom, the kitchen is small, and there’s no furnitures. He knew better than to judge and ask about what happened to you. Instead, he made himself comfortable while you prepare the ramen in your kitchen. He’s not used to seeing you like this but he thinks you’re still amazing. You used to buy him expensive food when you were still rich and spoiled, but now you make cheap ramen for him.

You caught him smile as you place two bowls on the table, “Why are you smiling?” you brought him back to reality and shake his head, “oh nothing. I was just thinking about taking you for a long shopping tomorrow after school” that’s not you anymore, you down a glass of water and took a deep breath.

“The truth is Jaehyun, I’m broke. I left two years ago because my dad’s business crashed and burned. The bank took everything from us, the house, the cars, mom’s jewelries, everything. We needed to start a new life somewhere no one knows us because my parents can’t handle the humiliation and embarrassment. I have to take care of them both because they don’t know shit” and your story went on and on as he listens attentively on how you needed to be responsible for your parents, you told him how you learned doing house chores and being independent which made him fall in love with you even more.

“I know why you’re here Jaehyun. I don’t need your help-“

“I’m here for the reason, because I love you. Now eat your ramen before it gets cold” surprisingly he reached for your forehead and kissed it.

You won’t admit but the following days were bearable because of Jaehyun. He let’s you be your independent self as he takes care of you in his own ways. Spending time with you at the library made him study even harder and ace all of his big exams. When you were in high school studying with Jaehyun would end up having sex with him but now, studying is studying and he loved how he sees you accomplish all your school works just in time before the library closes.

The changes in his life with you in it is visible, and he loves it. Secretly he learned how to clean the dishes at home so he can offer to clean the dishes the next time you invite him in and eat ramen. Jaehyun loves spending time with you whenever and however but his favorite thing to do with you is going to the market. Picking fresh fruits and vegetables, buying fish and meat. It’s all fascinating for him which amuses you.

“Hey, I’m just wondering if you could go to this party I’m throwing this Saturday”

Going to the party means seeing a lot of people you already forgot about, of course you don’t want to. But you didn’t want to disappoint Jaehyun, “I can drop by” is the only answer you can think of. “That’s fine with me, as long as I get to see you that night” he said as he continues to drive.

That night you wished you didn’t say yes to Jaehyun. You don’t know how the rumors spread but everyone knew about the reason why you left. You can hear people making fun of you, telling you it’s probably karma because you were such a bitch back in the day. All you can do is cry at the bathroom and pray that Jaehyun won’t see you like this.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you” Jaehyun found you as soon as you got out from the bathroom, faking a smile as someone bumped you on purpose and spill their drink on your shirt.

“Hey asshole you did that on purpose!” he shouts, clearly Jaehyun was not having a great time from his own party. “Everybody get out! All you do is gossip tonight you fucking ungrateful people, out!” seeing Jaehyun like this scared you, he never gets mad in front of you. When the house is already clear, he apologised to you for giving you a hard time tonight.

“I didn’t know they’ll gossip like hell tonight-“

“It’s not your fault Jae, it’s my dad’s fault” you sigh and sat on his couch, “Maybe they’re right, it’s karma. You know how I used to bully the students at school whenever I see someone bring packed lunch. I was a bitch, Jae”

He told you that y/n was long gone, “You’re like a completely different person now” he pulled you close to him as he tell you stories about him trying to wash his own clothes yesterday. The thought of it made you laugh like crazy, your voice echoes around his big house. He comforted you and made you laugh the whole evening, and you remember why you fell in love with Jaehyun in the first place.

On his birthday, it was a weekend and you had the whole day to celebrate. Nothing too fancy for this year, all he wanted to do is be with you. Spend the day like how a normal couple would spend Valentines day. Even though it’s clear to him that you’re not yet back together.

“I don’t have enough money saved up to buy you something you would actually like, so you can ask me to do anything today. I’m the gift” you present yourself playfully to him which made him laugh like loud, his ears are turning red.

“You know you’re the one that I want, be with me again” of course he’ll say that, and he’s serious.

“Don’t ruin your day you know my answer. Ask about something else” you said with a frown.

“Okay sorry you’re right. But I’m not changing what I said. Be with me today, pretend that we’re together again”

He held out his hand, waiting for you to grab it like how you used to do back when you were still together. Granting his wish you intertwine your fingers with his and you swear you felt something in your stomach. Butterflies, excitement, happiness.  

The day went on beautifully which was nothing as you expected. You held hands around the park, swinging it like little kids while giggling and talking about anything that comes out from your mouths. Kissing your hand whenever he feels like doing it, and you can’t complain about it because it’s part of the deal. “What? Be thankful it’s not your lips” he winked and kissed your hand again.

While watching movies, his arms are wrapped around you as you shiver because of the cold movie house. Kissing your forehead whenever it’s near his lips. And to end the celebration properly and avoid the crowded dine-in restaurants, you ate takeout in his car while you watch the city lights. He was holding your hand right after you both eat your meals and continue telling stories and laughing the whole time.

You wanted to admit to yourself that you fell in love with Jaehyun for the second time in your life. But given your life situation, you still have nothing to offer to him.

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?” he asked as if he just heard your thoughts. While waiting for your answer, his eyes were looking straight to you, head resting on his seat, hands still intertwined.

“We have big dreams that time. I mean studying in New York. Together? I can’t have those dreams with you while I’m… poor”

“What about now? Still not convinced we can be together even if you’re ‘poor’” he kissed your hand again, “I don’t know if I can let go when the clock strikes 12” the atmosphere suddenly became serious.

“Then don’t”

He’s sure as hell shocked by what you said. He lean forward and you did the same thing, and he kissed you. Sweet and slowly at first but no one is stopping so the both of you got carried away. The kiss became wet and hungrier, you noticed he was pulling you to sit on his lap but you didn’t want to. So you stopped the kiss and catch your breath. Letting go of his hand and put it on your forehead as you massage it, pretending you had a headache.

“Did you just kissed me because you feel sorry for me? Or is it because you feel same way?” He asked politely.

“I never stopped loving you, Jaehyun” you keep your hand relaxed on your lap. “I’m sorry if I ruined your day last minute-“

“What? No you didn’t” he reached for your face so you could look him in the eye, “I only have five minutes left. Kiss me again? Please?”

And you did. This time it was wet, but not because of spit but because of your tears. You continue kissing him until 12:01, hands wrapped around his head as you ruffle his soft hair. “I don’t want to rush you or force you. And I know were still not together again even though we shared that kiss. But at least now I have hope. Take all the time that you want. Just don’t leave me again. Or else I’ll find you this time.” He kissed your hand too many times before kissing your whole face, peck after peck.  

Finally letting Jaehyun in your life again without boundaries, the following days were sweeter. He still studies with you at the library without distracting you but this time you two make out like crazy in his car at the library’s parking lot before he takes you home.

He still have dinner with you whenever you invite him in but this time he can finally hug you from behind and watch you cook from your shoulder. You even taught him how to cook and turns out he’s a fast learner. “Not bad Jung Jaehyun “

And because you taught him how to cook, he cooked for you in his big kitchen at home. You helped a bit but he did most of the work. “This is delicious” you praised his Spaghetti aglio e olio, ate almost half of the pan which made him happy because you loved his cooking. After dinner, you both clean up the kitchen washing everything on the sink, cleaning the table and finally snuggled up on his big couch with a glass of red wine.

“I think I deserve a good kiss” he said as he pretends to be tired. The next thing you know you’re making out on their couch before he drives you home. Which was sweet, he reach in for a kiss whenever the stop light goes red and continues to drive when it turns green.

“I didn’t want to feed your pride but, I hate going home after spending a great time with you” his smile was from ear to ear but you see tears and you started to panic.

“Did I say something wrong?” he shook his head and cupped your face with both hands and kissed you sincerely.

“I love you so fucking much” he barely said it clearly because of his sobbing, his tears are falling down on his face.

“I don’t get it Jaehyun why are you crying?”

“Hearing that makes me so fucking happy. It means you wont push me away ever again.”

you suddenly remember the time you push him away. You hugged him and saw the time, 3am. “I think you should stay. I cant let you drive at such a late hour. Come on I’ll make you coffee” you kiss him on the lips one last time, “stop crying.” You finished the day with bodies tangled on your cheap floor mattress as you talked and talked until you both fall asleep.

Time passed by so fast, you can’t believe it’s been two years already since you went back. Your relationship with Jaehyun has been the same, peaceful, happy and simple. Jaehyun is in his senior year and he became busier than ever. Guess what? Being a graduating student didn’t stopped him from seeing you. He sleeps more in your small apartment than his big house, “I can sleep better when you’re beside me” he said as he falls asleep beside you while you still study for a big test.

With no labels or whatsoever, Jaehyun couldn’t care less about it. As long as he could be with you and kiss you, you’re his girl. Labels or not.

“I have a big question to ask” he said while he’s driving. “I need to bring you as my date on this family gathering this weekend. I know you hate parties-“

“Yes. I’ll go with you” you said with a sly smile. Deep down you’re hesitating of course. Jaehyun’s family became the richest family after your father’s business crashed. Truth be told, you forgot how to be elegant. Now you’re just cheap.

As the most awaited weekend took place, you’re thankful Jaehyun bought you a nice dress fit for the party. Parties like this is full of business matters, yes it’s a party but everything they talk about in the four corners of this room is plain business. You know because your family used to throw tons of parties like this back in the day.

Hearing the continuous playing of piano made you remember how Jaehyun played nonstop at the piano you used to own… how you missed everything. Suddenly you don’t feel well. You wanted to get out of this place.

You tap Jaehyun’s shoulder as you excuse him from a visitor, “I think I should go home. I’ll take a cab, don’t worry about me” you kissed him on the cheek.

“Y/n your’e scaring me whats wrong?” he whispers, completely worried. You told him the problem and he told you he’s sorry, “It’s my fault. I’ll take you home”

A week passed and you told Jaehyun you need to bury yourself on thick books and you need to study for three big tests. Which does not exist. You just want to get away from him. But the space made you realise your new found love for Jaehyun. It’s not that you depend your happiness to Jaehyun, he just makes you look forward to living a simple life. Imagine having a delicious wine and perfect cheese on the side. Jaehyun is the cheese that made everything even more better.  

After having a 7-5 class, you found Jaehyun waiting for you at the school’s parking lot. Gloomy and not his normal cheery self.

“Are we back to square one?” he blurted out before you can even greet him. “Because I don’t mind doing it again” he said a little too aggressive.

You panic, you thought he’s mad “no no were not. Im sorry. The dinner was too much. I just needed to forget it. Im sorry, I missed you” he hugged you tight back.

“I thought I lost you again” you shook your head. “Take me somewhere today I’m on school break for two weeks”

And just like that, you two were back to being your cheery self again. He took you to his house, cooked dinner for you and enjoyed his home theater with you. You watched a tear jerker romantic movie and he was whispering ‘i love yous’ whenever the lead actor do something sweet in the movie. You do the same but not as bold as he is. You never actually said those three words to him properly, but you do love him unconditionally.

“Your room is still the same.” You’re fresh from the shower wearing a black shirt from Jaehyun with just your panties. Roaming around his room as you dry your hair using a towel. You saw a picture of you that he took, just beside his LP player and vinyl collections. His room is always this cozy, you remember doing your homework here when you were in high school and having sex whenever you want, because no one dares to disturb you two in his room.

And speaking of sex, you suddenly remember the last time you had sex with Jaehyun. That was a week before you leave. It happened in this room, he didn’t know but you were completely heartbroken that time.

“Hey stop snooping around and come to bed with me” he said as he pat his bed, telling you to lay beside him. You jumped right in and went on top of him. “What if I never went back?” he hugged you and switched positions, now you’re beneath him. “But you’re here.” you feel his lips on your exposed neck, “in my bed” you kissed him on the mouth as you both sit up and remove your shirts. He skilfully unclasps your bra and threw it somewhere, pulling down your panties and throwing it to the floor.

As he was busy getting you naked, you take your time admiring his perfect body. Pushing him down on the mattress and getting on top of him again “Remember when I do this?” you tease as you kiss him on his abs, “and this” down to his lower abdomen, removing his boxer briefs slowly as you keep on kissing him all the way to his hard cock. You threw away his boxer briefs just like he did with your underwear.

Brushing his soft hair as you kiss him softly, Jaehyun is slowly making his way in between your legs. “Be gentle okay?” you whisper before he plays with your folds, gently playing with your cunt while looking at you. Slightly rolling your hips, Jaehyun’s fingers feels nice inside. All you can do is moan and grab his shoulders.

Wet enough for his cock, he slowly lined his cock on you cunt. Pushing in slowly, feeling your tight walls that he missed so much. “I love you Jung Jaehyun” you whisper before he move. Happy that you finally said it clearly. He thrust in slowly just how you like it, kissing your mouth as you moan on every thrust he gives. Gasping whenever he gives you a sharp one.  

“Don’t leave me again” he whispers as he continue you to fuck you on a steady pace.  

“I wont” you whimper and reach for him to keep him close to you as he thrust. “I’ll make you happy everyday” no doubt about that, you nod completely out of words as he bring you to the edge.

“Jaehyun right there” you moan as you spread your legs wider.

“Right here, hmm? Feels good?” he grabbed your waist with both hands and kept going with a faster pace. You nod weakly, mouth open and eyebrows furrow as you let go. Whispering sweet nothings to you while still hitting your good spot.

You shiver and curl beneath him as he chase his own orgasm and cum inside you. Cum dripping from your cunt, he slowly pull out and replaced in with his finger. Kissing you softly, while you still spread your legs for him and let him finger you as you both ride your high.

He kept you warm and calm after cleaning you, kissing you on your temple just a little too long but quick enough to ask for more.

“As much as I miss having sex with you, I think we should sleep already. I know you, you will ask for round two in ten minutes after you stretch your body- Look you’re doing it now” he shook his head playfully with a smile.

“Jaehyunie” you pout as you stretch and whine. “No” he playfully refuse. “We’ll have round two tomorrow” you nod as you accept defeat and snuggle beside him. Eyes closed and really comfortable he suddenly whispers, “I love you, y/n” you don’t say it back but he knows you love him too.

Jaehyun’s graduation finally came and you couldn’t be more proud. His parents flew from America and you finally meet them, again. “We knew it. We always knew you’re the right one for our Jaehyun” his mom told you, as you help her around the kitchen. The dinner was just Jaehyun, his parents and you.

“I have everyone that I love in this table, the people who helped me graduate and made me a better person. Cheers!” he kissed you in front of his parents, for the first time. “And you, thank you for giving me a second chance” he clinks your glass, took a sip on his wine, and kissed you again.

Soon, Jaehyun bought himself a decent apartment and asked you to move in with him. From there on, you sleep and wake up beside Jaehyun. No need to pick you up from your apartment, or watch you study at the library. Jaehyun is your home now.

[mermaidsneedwater]

christmas with you | chapter two

series page

Last Christmas

The entire ride home from practice, all Mark could think was I’m in deep shit.

When he’d lied to his mom, he’d been hoping to right the wrong by actually bringing a real girlfriend to Christmas the following year. He figured his mother would never even know the difference of his lie. But since finding out that he’d indeed be home for Christmas, Mark had been dreading the call to his family.

As Mark walked to the front door of his apartment, he ruffled around his pocket looking for the key.

Hearing the ring of the elevator, he turned around to see you carrying two big bags of groceries. You thanked him as he rushed to help you with them.

“Oh, thank you Mark.” You smiled.

“Of course.” Mark said, waiting with the bags in his hands as you unlocked the door to your apartment.

He walked into your apartment, setting the groceries onto the kitchen counter.

“So how are you?” You asked your neighbor.

“Oh, I’m alright? How about you?” He smiled awkwardly.

“I’m good. Getting ready for the holiday season” You said excitedly.

“Yeah,” he agreed awkwardly, noting the ring on your finger.

Were you married? Mark was surprised he hadn’t noticed before.

Admiring the ring on your hand, you interrupted Mark’s thought when you spoke again “Thanks for your help, my fiancé and I are hosting Christmas here this year so I was stocking up on food.”

So you were engaged.

As the two of you stood in an awkward pause, you heard Mark clear his throat before inching towards the door. “I should go, but good luck with the cooking.” Mark said.

“Thanks, and happy holidays!” You called out to him as he shut the door.

Mark fished out the missing key he’d been looking for before opening the door. Immediately, Milo was at his feet. As he pet the little dog, he couldn’t help but think about you.

You had moved into the apartment across Mark a little while after he had. Though the two of you weren’t friends, you remained friendly neighbors. He figured your fiancée was the guy he would always see come in and out of your apartment.

Mark was happy for you, he was. But he couldn’t help but think back to his own plight. How would he magically procure a girl to be his girlfriend and come home with him for the holidays?

Choosing to ignore the problem until he was forced to confront it, Mark distracted himself with ramen.

Heading to the kitchen, he prepared the meal for himself before bringing it to the couch and turning on the television.

His mind went numb as he watched a stupid Christmas movie. Those were so cheesy. As Mark felt his eyes flutter shut, he didn’t stop himself from falling into a deep sleep.

+++

The next time Mark saw you was exactly three days later. Well he didn’t exactly see you, he heard you.

“GET OUT!” You screamed. “GET OUT NOW!”

Through the thin walls of the apartment complex, Mark placed his ear against the wall to hear better.

He could hear a male voice yell in reply. “You’re crazy, you know that? You’re fucking crazy!”

Curious as to what was happening, he looked through the peephole of his front door.

He watched you pace in and out of the hallway, throwing out what seemed to be your fiancé's clothes onto the floor.

“Well you won’t get out so I guess I’ll just have to kick your ass to the curb!” You yelled back.

Intrigued about how the situation was playing out, he watched as the man scrambled to pick up his clothes off the floor.

“Here,” You said, your arms full of gifts that your fiancé had gotten you. “I don’t want any of this.”

You then proceeded to throw the handbags, boxes of jewelry, and stuffed animals.

“Seriously babe?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re really throwing a fit over a technicality?”

“Don’t call me that.” You said through gritted teeth. As you threw the remainder of things on the floor, Mark watched your fiancé pick them up in his hands. The poor guy was struggling to hold all the items you were throwing out the door.

“I’m not throwing a fit, I’m throwing you out.” You said angrily, moving to fiddle your hand.

Your fiancé looked at you, in disbelief of what you were about to do. “Don’t you dare-”

You angrily removed the ring and threw it at his feet. “You can keep that. We’re done.”

And with that, you slammed the door of your apartment shut.

Mark winced at the loud sound. Resting on the couch, Milo raced to the front door when he heard the loud sound, barking at the thought of an intruder. Groaning, Mark attempted to calm him down, telling him to shush.

But Milo wouldn't stop.

Defeated, Mark went to grab his leash, intent on taking him for a short walk in order to calm him down. Though, deep down he was itching to go outside and see the damage that had been done.

As he slowly stepped out, Mark awkwardly waited outside his front door as your now ex-fiancé was busy picking his stuff off the ground, including the engagement ring that Mark had noticed the day before.

“Sorry about this.” The man apologized apathetically.

“It’s all good.” he replied awkwardly.

Milo tugged Mark forward, forcing him to walk by the man. Mark was somewhat relieved he’d done so, eager to get away.

After about an hour, Mark was ready to retreat home. He walked Milo back to the apartment before seeing you at the foot of your door, paying a delivery man for pizza.

Dressed in patterned pajamas and glasses, you were almost unrecognizable. Your face looked puffy, as if you’d been crying.

As the man walked away the money you handed him, you lingered at the foot of your door a little longer than usual and watched Mark fumble for his key.

Milo glanced over at you and took advantage of Mark’s loose hold of the leash. He bolted into your apartment, jumping up on your leg. Mark’s eyes widened as he felt the puppy escape him and run straight to you.

“Milo! Milo get back here right now!” Mark yelled.

“It’s fine.” You reassured him, reaching down to pet Milo. “Are you hungry?”

“Me?” Mark asked, surprised that the question had been directed to him.

“Yes you, who else?” You said sarcastically. “Are you hungry?”

“A little.” He admitted.

“I can’t eat this whole pizza by myself.” You told him, “you’re welcome to join me.”

Mark wasn’t sure what he was more surprised with, the fact that you had invited him over or that he’d instantly agreed.

He walked into your apartment and watched as you unhooked Milo’s leash and set it on the counter. You then took two plates from the shelf and grabbed a slice of pizza for yourself before setting the plate on the dining table.

Mark mirrored your actions and sat at the table. He watched as you headed to the fridge before poking your head up.

“Do you want a beer?”

“No thank you,” He said politely.

Shrugging, you grabbed a bottle for yourself, opened the cap off, and then joined him at the table.

The two of you ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying the food in front of you. You watched Mark, silently sipping on your beer.

“So, why no beer? Are you having a comeback or something?” You tried to make conversation.

“I didn’t think you even knew I was in a group.” Mark said. “And no, we’re actually on a break.”

“That’s all the real estate agent talked about when I was looking at apartments.” You told him “I think she was quite enamored with you.”

“Oh,”

“Yeah, anyway. I thought it would be cool to live across a K-pop star. I was under the impression that you lived a glamorous life.” You admitted. “But you turned out to be so dull.”

“Dull?” Mark said, surprised at your choice of words.

“I mean you don’t throw any parties, you barely have any people over, I’ve never even heard the television from your house, that’s how respectful you are. You’re a model tenant.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Mark said.

“It’s boring.” You replied frankly. “So you’re on a break?”

Choosing not to press you any further, Mark answered your next question. “Yeah, until the end of January.”

He watched as you lifted the beer bottle to take a sip, noticing your ring finger now empty. You followed his eye line before deciding to address the elephant in the room.

“That’s good. My engagement broke today.” You announced. “But you probably already knew that.”

Mark silently nodded, not wanting to say a word on the delicate situation.

“Don’t you want to know what happened?”

“It’s none of my business.” He told you, sympathetic to your situation.

“He slept with my sister.” You said bluntly, chugging another sip of your beer.

Mark’s eyes widened. “What?!”

“Last year around this time, we decided to take a break. He ran into my sister at a bar and they got wasted and slept together.” You explained. “We ended up getting back together a week later, and then two months later he proposed.”

So that’s why your fiancé has called it a technicality, you had been on a break.

“That’s… heavy.” he struggled to find the words.

“Yeah.” you snorted. “Happy fucking holidays to me!”

Noticing your misery, Mark decided to keep quiet and have another bite of the pizza.

“So what are your Christmas plans?” You asked.

“Well my mom has been begging me to come home but…” Mark trailed off, suddenly remembering his little problem.

“But what?”

“Well, we only found out we had a break a couple of days ago. We were supposed to have a schedule and it got cancelled.”

“And?”

“Well before that, I kind of, sort of, lied and told my mom I was seeing someone.”

You sat back in your seat, still clutching your almost empty beer bottle and laughing. “Nice.”

“I’m glad you find this funny.” Mark rolled his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Me? Well I’m sure as fuck not going home.” You said.

“Understandable.” He conceded. “But you’ll be all alone for Christmas,”

“I don’t care. Maybe it’s for the best.”

You got up from the table and headed to the pizza box for another slice.

Watching you, it felt like lightning had struck Mark when he jumped out of his seat.

“Y/N, I have an idea. One that can solve both of our problems.” Mark proposed carefully. “Hear me out.”

You turned around to see Mark walking towards you. “Oh no, I have a bad feeling about this.”

“It’s brilliant really.” He started. “Truly, one of the best ideas I’ve ever had.”

“Spit it out!” You said, unable to take the anticipation.

“You should come home with me for Christmas as my girlfriend!”

Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Excuse me?!”

“My fake girlfriend,” he clarified. “That way I can bring someone home, and you can spend the holidays with my family.”

“You’re insane, you know that?” You told him. “Pretending to be your girlfriend? That’s insane!”

“It’s not that crazy.” Mark attempted to ration, “You work in PR don’t you? Think of this as some PR for me, with my family.”

“Those things are not even the slightest bit related and you know it.” You rolled your eyes.

“What about the fact that you don’t want to be with your family for the holidays? You should just come with me and be with mine! No one should be alone on Christmas.”

“I don’t even know you,” you pointed out the obvious. “This is the first time we’ve ever really hung out.”

“Look, just think about it.” Mark said. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now.”

“I’m not thinking about it, the answer is no.” You replied firmly.

“Okay, okay.” He said with his hands up. “It’s getting late anyway, I should get back to my place.”

Mark called for Milo and grabbed the leash off the table. Before he left your apartment he turned back to face you, “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

He then shut the door behind him, leaving you with your pizza and very interesting proposition to consider.

+++

“What are you doing here?” You crossed your arms. “I’m pretty sure I made it clear, we’re done.”

Your ex-fiancé pried your hand out and held it in his.

“Come on babe, it was a mistake. You can forgive me for one thing can’t you?”

You slipped your hand out of his. “Not when the one thing you did was sleep with my sister.”

“We were on a break!” He exclaimed. “It was one time. A momentary lapse of judgement.”

“You know what? It’s not even the fact that you slept with someone at all. You’re right, technically we were broken up. The thing that hurts the most is the fact that of all the women in the world you had to sleep with my sister and then lie to me about it for a whole year!” You told him off.

“So we can go to couples therapy! We can work through this. We were both wrong-“

You raised an eyebrow.

“I was wrong.” He corrected himself. “Besides you don’t want to be alone for Christmas do you?”

That was the thing that set you off. Unable to control your outburst, you spoke the the first thing that came to mind, “I’m not going to be alone.”

“You’re going home?” Your fiancé raised an eyebrow.

“No, I’m going to this guy’s home… to meet his parents.”

“You’re what?!” He yelled.

“Yeah, you heard me. Technically we’re broken up right?” You reminded him. “So no, I won’t be alone. I’ll be with him.”

“Who is he?” You saw your fiancé’s jaw clench.

“Well, that’s not really your concern now is it? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pack.”

“Y/N, wait- We need to-“

You shut the front door, not bothering to listen to him anymore. You watched through the peephole as your fiancé eventually left.

Tiptoeing across the hallway, you knocked on Mark’s door. He was surprised to see you, scratching the back of his neck as he waited for you to say something.

“You still looking for a fake girlfriend?”

chapter one | chapter three

[cravingmarvel]

Sugar

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, stalking, just mob things 

Summary: James Barnes had his eyes on you and he can’t stand things he can’t have.

A/N: lmao I don’t know what this is, don’t ask. We won’t talk about this. Just leave me BE.

Masterlist 

Sugar

“Please, just give me any job, any! I’ll even clean toilets for god’s sake!”

I followed John around his office like I didn’t have any dignity left within me, but all he did was shake his head frantically. He hurried around his office collecting pieces of paper with me right on his feet. Working in John’s hardware store was the last thing I wanted to do but the options I have are running dangerously low. I was hoping that he would help me out since he’d known me since I was a child.

“I’m sorry Y/n, but I can’t do that.”

“Why?” 

I had him trapped between me and his desk by now trying to get an answer out of him.

“Because he told me not to. He told me whatever You say to turn you down. For- for any job.” John said, the papers in his hands shaking. The poor man had fear written all over his face.

“Who?” 

“James Barnes.”

-

I met my problem two months ago at my then still husband Mark’s opening celebration. He was finally opening his very own law firm, with many sponsors at his back supporting his career, one of them being James. I’ve been with Mark throughout his days in Law school, the dream of ‘Johnson Law Firm – Criminal Defence & Family Law’ set in his mind ever since he knew he wanted to become a lawyer.

Mark took my hand leading me through the room, he was introducing me to all kinds of people. Salesmen, real estate agents and dozens of entrepreneurs, all of whom he was sponsored by. This project of his was quite expensive and finding the right place and interior turned out to be difficult enough. To find the money to get it all was the cherry on top, so Mark turned to sponsors, giving them advertisements and recommending them to his clients if necessary.

“Love, this is James Barnes, the man who really made all of this possible.”

Mark took his hand away from my back stuffing it in his pocket. I looked at the man in front of me, his short hair styled back, curling slightly. The two men behind him politely nodding their heads. I took his outstretched hand in mine and smiled up at him.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Barnes.” 

Instead of shaking my hand, he turned it and kissed the back of my hand, looking into my eyes. “Oh, don’t be so formal, Darling. Just call me James.” He said while his white teeth shined bright at me. “This is Sam and Steve, my right-hand men, can’t get rid of them.” 

My cheeks heated up a little, feeling slightly intimidated by the obviously rich man.

I didn’t know it then, but he seems to be the bad omen in my life. 

- 

Not long after that, Mark, the man I have been with for ten years, half of that married, divorced me. I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t take the fear in his eyes as an indication for who was behind it all. He didn’t give me enough reasons and the ones he gave me had holes in them so much so that they were almost non-existent.

I was forced to move out, an apartment outside Manhattan since that was all I could afford. I have to admit that most of the income we had was from Mark. I hadn’t lived alone since college, but the loneliness wasn’t the worst part, it was staying above the water with the money I made.

After just a few days of living in my new apartment, the worst that could happen, happened. Even the company I worked for turned their back on me, my boss, Kyle, apologizing profusely after handing me the envelope.

But it didn’t stop there, every guy I met after finding the courage to date again seemed to run away from me as soon as a second date was planned. I felt cursed, the universe had cursed me. 

My life was falling to pieces. 

So that’s how I ended up in John’s office, an old friend of mine. One who was refusing me a job because James Barnes told him so. My question wasn’t really why James told him so, it was rather why John listened to him.

I looked at John, realization kicking in as he mumbled his next apology, fear in his eyes once again as if I would hurt him.  

“I- I have to go. Bye John, thank you.”

-

I knew where I needed to go and that’s where I went, storming into the lobby of Hydra & Co. right to the front desk. “Excuse me?” I said to the woman sitting in front of me, my hands clutching to the white wood. “I need to speak to Mr. Barnes immediately.”

She looked up at me, holding her other hand to the mic of her phone, her lips in a tight smile. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you up without an appointment.” She went right back to listening to the person on the other side of the line.

“Look-“ I lowered my eyes to the nametag on her blazer “Jenna, I need to speak to him right now ok?” I knew my face was bright red, my fingers clinging to the wood. “He is ruining my life and I need to speak to him!”

The poor woman started to panic, eyes growing bigger as I leaned forward, my tone and choice of words harsher than I wanted them to be. The person on the phone clearly overheard me as the woman explained to them that I was requesting to see Mr. Barnes.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/n Y/l/n.”

She mumbled something before hanging up the phone.  “Please continue to the 46th floor.” Her smile matched her uncertain body language.

The elevator doors opened, and I stepped out, not really focussing on the blond woman sitting at yet another desk waiting for me to speak up, but I just went straight for the big doors. I stood there for a second, raising my hand, knocking three times. I heard a faint ‘come in’ and upon opening the door I saw James sitting behind his desk.

He looked up from his computer, smiling. “It’s so nice to see you again, y/n.”

I could hardly pull myself together. He so nonchalantly welcomed me into his office as if he didn’t have a clue on why I was here in the first place. The door shut behind me making me jump.

“Please tell me what’s going on, John told me you told him not give me a job. Just tell me why? With Mark gone, I can barely hold myself up.”

There was no point in holding back what I wanted to say. I felt a little embarrassed, but I needed to clear the air, to confirm that this man I hardly knew was the reason behind my failed attempts at getting a job.

“Oh yeah, Mark. Was easy getting him out of the picture.” James rose from his seat, slowly walking around the desk. “Look, ever since seeing you at that losers opening party, I just knew I had to fight for what want.”

I felt like a little child asking for her favourite toy back. James is intimidating, very. “What do you mean get Mark out of the picture?” I tilted my head.

“Well I told him that if he didn’t divorce you, I would pull back the funding’s for his Law firm.” His mouth curled up to a twisted smile.

“So, you threatened him?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it a threat, let’s just call it a favour.”

“For whom?”

“For you!” James stepped closer to me. “He can’t ever give you what I can.”

I couldn’t back away, not now that he thinks he has control over my life. “You don’t love me! You just want what you can’t have!”

James stood in front of me, his breath hot on my forehead. His hand rested on my waist, squeezing it a little. He bent down, his lips grazing on my ear. “There’s nothing I can’t have, darling.”

I shoved him away with the strength I still had left. “You’re disgusting!”

James chuckled darkly as he pushed his hands in his pockets. I turned on my heels, pulling the door open without looking back. I could feel his smirk on the back of my neck, shivers running down my spine as I still felt his touch linger on my body, his breath on my ear and the soft, deep tone of his voice ringing in my head.

-

As I walked back to my apartment days after the “talk” I had with James, I saw the familiar car parked on the other side of the street. The two men leaning against the side of it were all too familiar too. Sam and Steve, that’s they’re names. I do recognize them from Mark’s opening party, but also because since then I see them linger around me once in a while.

I crossed the street, determined to stop this nonsense at once.

“Can you guys stop following me?” I said, crossing my arms on my chest as I stopped in front of them.

“Oh, we’re not following you. We’re protecting you.” Sam said, adjusting his sunglasses.

“From what?” I asked, my confusion making them smile.

“Well, someone trying to rob you.” Steve said.

“Hurt you.” Sam threw right back.

“Kill you.” Steve said looking at Sam.

“Why would anyone do that?”

“You’re the reason people are getting threatened left and right. The mob boss himself holding a gun in someone’s face really makes them take a step back and think about what their doing.” Steve explained.

“Urgh, and that’s my fault because?” I was confused and irritated. Why did I have to run into mobsters of all people.

This wasn’t anything like ‘Goodfellas’.

-

Even though having Sam and Steve on my back every day was a little irritating, I still felt a little bad. I know I shouldn’t, but I still did. I mean, their oh so busy boss is sitting behind a desk while his so-called right-hand men are outside my Apartment complex, waiting for me to do anything interesting.

So I thought the best thing to do to make all of our lives just a little more enjoyable and to also get both of the men on my side a little, I took two disposable cups, filled them with coffee and went to the car.

I looked through the driver’s seat window, Sam and Steve watching ‘The Little Mermaid’. As I knocked on the glass with my knuckle, both jumped closing the laptop.

Sam let his window down. “God you scared us.”

“Here.” I said while giggling, handing Sam the cups of coffee. “Just a little gift from me. Don’t tell your boss though.”

“Why?” Steve leaned over so I could properly see him. “Not the gift part, the boss part. Thanks!”

“Don’t want your boss to get the wrong idea.”

-

I knew this was a terrible idea. Not well thought out and executed within an hour. My mind was still trying to convince me to go back to my apartment. But something within me stood tall. I was called up to the woman and smiled at her.

“One ticket to Utah please.”

She typed something into the computer and proceeded to take a call while doing so. “And your name, miss?”

“Oh, Y/n y/l/n.” I looked around aimlessly waiting for her to hand me my plane ticket.

“I’m so sorry, but there aren’t any seats left.”

“What do you mean? What about first class?”

“Nope, sorry.”

“Does James Barnes have anything to do with this maybe?”

Her eyes grew big as I mentioned his name, she lowered the phone, looking at it and them back at me.

“Right.” I nodded my head, a little glad that this didn’t work out, I mean, what was I supposed to do in Utah?

Upon walking out, I was once again followed by Sam and Steve, the duo that can’t even seem to brush their teeth with separate toothbrushes.

“So, you’re not leaving?”

I dragged my suitcase behind me, huffing at Sam’s comment. It’s not like I just realized how stupid the idea was to fly to my hometown, but in the whim of a moment it did. Just for a small moment it seemed like my ticket out, but James seems to be a few steps ahead of me, his little minions right on my heels.

“No, I guess not, Sam.”

“C’mon, let us give you a ride back.” Sam stopped at the car holding the door open for me. I sat in the car with a grunt.

The car ride was plagued by silence… from me. Steve and Sam, the dynamic duo, chatted along as if nothing had happened.

“You know, Y/n, Buck isn’t that bad. He does come off as tough and scary at times but he kinda has to. As soon as he shows any weakness, people don’t take him seriously.”

“Cute.”

“Y/n… he wouldn’t do all this if he didn’t seriously like you. Deep down he’s a sweet guy, trust me.” Steve went on, but that didn’t faze me.

I started out of the window, watching the buildings pass as we approached my place.

-

After my attempt to flee the city, I felt a little embarrassed with myself. The poor plan I was sure made James laugh, it’s as if I could hear him laugh all the way somewhere from the outskirts of New York. I couldn’t stop myself from walking through the city asking for a job, but no one would offer me one. Some wouldn’t even let me into the building after hearing my name. New York has shut its doors.

I walked home, not missing the presence of Sam and Steve, S&S, the Bonny and Clyde of New York, my personal bodyguards around me. They were everywhere, almost knowing exactly where I was going. I was getting a little used to it.

Upon walking into the small entrance area of my apartment building, I emptied my mailbox. I knew that none of these were good news, those were very uncommon these days it seemed.

I kicked off my shoes, hung up my cardigan and went straight do the couch rubbing my feet. The regret of wearing heels swung around in my head, they make you look very professional but hurt your feet if you walk in them all day through the city.

I went lazily through the letters. Just bills, payments that were way too overdue and a letter from my landlord. That one caught my eye immediately as I haven’t had an issue with her since I moved in. She knew of my problem and welcomed me with open arms, but the letter proved otherwise.

I stumbled out of the door, down two floors, hitting a wall on my way for good measure. I knocked on her door, hearing footsteps on the other side.

“Jenna, you’re kicking me out?” I held the letter up to her face as soon as she opened the door.

“Y/n, I’m sorry I- “

“No! Tell me this isn’t the work of James Barnes.” My ears were ringing, tears prickling on the corners of my eyes. “Please.”

Jenna exhaled sharply. “He came by yesterday, threatened me, held a gun to my head, y/n- “

“Wow.” I breather out, leaning against the door frame.

“I can’t have you here, not when I have a baby to protect, I’m sorry.”

“No, I understand.” I removed myself from her door frame, smiling as best as I could. I didn’t need her to worry about me, herself and especially not her baby. The poor child doesn’t need to grow up without parents.

I walked up to my apartment. The only good thing was, that I didn’t have a lot to pack up. The things I do have were fairly light and I could ask Danny, John’s son, from the hardware store to help me move.

What was James thinking? He either loved me or wanted me to die in a ditch, I couldn’t decide. The anger bubbling within me made my blood boil. He couldn’t do this. If he really loved me like he claimed he does, then he wouldn’t have me struggling so much.

I pulled my heels back on my feet as I stumbled out of my apartment once again. I couldn’t get down the many flights of stairs without stripping and falling but I only hand one goal. The hatred I felt for James fuelled the fire in me.

I spotted Sam and Steve in the car and approached it with speed, looking left and right to avoid getting run over. I hastily slammed my palm on the window catching Sam’s attention. He rolled the window down.

“Bring me to him. James.” I held the bottom of the window with my palms, sweat collecting on my neck, my hairs sticking to it.

“He’s at home.” Sam responded as if I cared where he was.  

“Well let’s go!” I climbed in the backseat and heard Sam swear under his breath.

We arrived at James’s house, or rather mansion. The white bricked mansion stood out amongst the greenery surrounding it. There were several armed men standing around the mansion, dressed in all black. As we pulled up to the front steps, right next to the rather large fountain, Sam and Steve, the dynamic duo, led me inside.

Marble on top of marble, not the cheaper kind. The one that’s so thick you couldn’t seem to break it if you tried. Sam told me exactly where to go and I didn’t waste any time, running up the stairs, turned the left corner and went straight to the end of the corridor. My feet stomping on the ground like I’m a child.

I stood in front of the heavy looking white doors. I raised my hand knocking three times. I didn’t give James any time to tell me to come in, pushing the door open. He seemed to be quite surprised as he stood up from his seat.

“How dare you?” I spoke, a little too quiet to my liking, the tears threatened to fall from my eyes and I just let them. At this point I didn’t care what he thought of me, I just needed to let go. “How dare you have me kicked out of my home? And on top of that threaten poor Jenna!”

He rounded the desk like he did when I showed up in his office. “Y/n, you’re more than welcome to stay here.”

“But I don’t want to!”

I looked over to the shelve, walking over to it. Looking back and forth to the small green vase sitting atop it, back to James and back to the vase. My brows furrowed together as I took it into my hand. I looked James in the eyes, raising my hand pointing it to the wall, swinging my arm, stopping right before the impact would’ve smashed it into pieces.

James looked rather unfazed, either he didn’t care about it or he knew I couldn’t do it. I let my shoulders fall, placing the vase back on the shelve. I held my face in my hands, letting the tears falling.

I heard him coming over, but I let him. He wrapped his arms around my figure, squeezing my body softly. “Shh, it’s going to be ok.”

I pulled away from him, pushing his arms away from me. “No, it’s not going to be ok, James. If you truly loved me as much as you say you do, then you wouldn’t do this, you would want me to be happy no matter what. You would do anything to ensure my happiness isn’t ruined by your needs.”

I took a few steps away from him. “This- “ I pointed my finger to him and back to me. “- Isn’t love.”

James exhaled, turned and walked to his desk, holding onto it with his hands. “Alright… I- you just go back to your apartment, let Sam and Steve drive you, I’ll sort everything else out. Ok?”

A small smiled formed on my lips, I had done it, I convinced him. “Thank you.”

“Just know that I do love you.”

I walked out of the room skipping along the marbled floor, down the steps and out of the mansion.

 6 Months later:

 On my way up to my apartment I grabbed my mail along the way. As I walked in, I took everything necessary off leaving me in a tank top and my panties. It was way too hot to wear anything else. Anyone who believes climate change isn’t real should come to New York right now.

As I always do, I checked the pile of letters for anything important, so far only advertisements and… an invitation. I ripped open the envelope to reveal the letter.

We happily invite you to the engagement party of

 James Buchanan Barnes & Meghan Sofie Vermont

 We hope to welcome you to our home to celebrate love and happiness.

 Barnes & Vermont

 I couldn’t help but laugh a little, he wants me to attend an engagement party?

Ever since the day I confronted him about his wrongdoings, things finally started to look up for me again. I got my job back and felt like the city of New York had welcomed me back. I could finally breathe again. I do have to say that I miss Sam and Steve being on my backs at all times, the Tyler Joseph and Josh Dunn, my own Tom and Jerry. I do miss them sometimes when I look out the window.

They did make me feel safe.

 -

 I pushed my blazer up my arms and checked my bag for any belongings I might’ve missed and walked out the door locking it for good measure. Outside, my car was already waiting for me, James really made sure to flaunt his money, having his guests picked up. The car ride was filled with nerves overflowing, I didn’t know how to feel going to that house again, but as I walked up the stairs into the lavish foyer, down into the living room and out to the garden, I was more concerned about my attire. I grabbed a flute of champagne from one of the waiters.

The guests who were scattered around the grass wearing heavy diamonds on their necks. I came across a woman wearing the most beautiful bracelet I’ve ever seen, and she told me it was made out of Iridium, the rarest naturally occurring element. I didn’t really know what to do with that information since it just looked like plain old silver to me.

As I spotted James, he was already looking at me. I waved at him and smiled, taking a step to walk toward him as I was stopped by a woman.

“And you must be Y/n, right?” She asked and I nodded in return. “Wow, James has told me a lot about you, I’m Meghan, his soon to be wife and not so far into the future Mrs. Barnes.” She stretched her hand out to me and I shook it, trying to hide the face I wanted to make.

“God you’re so beautiful, now I know why Bucky was chasing you around.” She grinned at me and I wanted to return the complement, but she didn’t let me. “I can’t believe you rejected him, wow, I mean, you could be me right now. You could have diamonds on you neck, hands and anywhere else you want them. The finest dresses, oh Buck gifted me this absolutely amazing Givenchy dress last week. To. Die. For.”  

Meghan placed her hand on my shoulder and her grip didn’t say friendship. “And this house! You could be living here right now. But the best thing you’re missing… the man, I mean. Jamesie is so wonderful, so sweet and just ugh, the biggest heart.”

I looked at her my face falling, twisting into a rather annoyed expression. I just looked over to James, talking to some guy. His grey suit and pink tie doing wonders for him.

I snapped back to Meghan as she tightened the grip on my shoulder, my hand slightly tipping, the glass with it. If she loves her Givenchy dress so much, then why isn’t she paying closer attention to it. My glass tipped fully now, the golden liquid spilling down the front of her dress.

Meghan let out a high-pitched scream and I snapped back into reality, my eyes flicking up to James who looked at me. I turned, placed the glass on a nearby table and went up the stairs, back int the living room and into the foyer.

“Stop!”

I turned as I heard the woman, the tall blonde walking over to me.

“What were you thinking? Come with me. Now!” She grabbed my arm leading me down a corridor and through some double doors revealing the kitchen. She roughly made me sit on one of the chairs at the table, walking back and forth behind me.

I just lowered my head, feeling once again, like a child. I regretted it.

“Y/n, what’s gotten into you?” James entered the kitchen and I felt my cheeks hating up. He sat down next to me and turned his body to me. The woman mumbling something about the party being ruined. “Mom, please can you leave us alone?”

I sunk lower on my seat, not wanting to be seen at all by anyone. It was a mistake coming here after all.

“Y/n, darling, why did you do that?” He placed his hand over mine, circling his thumb on the back of my hand.

“I didn’t do it on purpose!”

James took his other hand softly holding my jaw, turning my face to him. “This isn’t you. I’ve seen you being angry, but you never did any harm to anyone or anything. Despite your anger you still don’t lose your manners and knock on people’s doors.”

I knew by anything he meant the vase I wanted to smash. But he was right, completely. “I’m sorry.” The tears swelled up in my eyes. “I didn’t know what came over me. Meghan just went on and on about all the things I could’ve had and everything I’m missing out on and I just… snapped.”

“But why are you so upset about it? You knew exactly what you would give up when you told me to leave you alone, why does it bother you now?”

That was indeed a good question, why did it bother me so much. Was it the things I was upset about or the person? “Maybe… I think… Sometimes you want what you can’t have.”

James smiled. “I know exactly what that feels like.”

I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He took his hand away from mine and snaked it around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. His warm breath on my lips sent shivers down my spine and as he inched closer, he moved his hand from my jaw to the back of my neck, tangling his fingers with my hair.

James closed the distance between us, moving his lips against mine. He pulled away slightly, just inches away from me, whispering against my lips. “The difference between you and me is, there’s nothing I can’t have, Sugar.”

Fin!

[nona-gay-simus-main]

How to Show Instead of Tell

One of the most commonly given advice is “show, don’t tell”, yet this is still one of the biggest problems in manuscripts I see by novice writers, and I think it’s because many people don’t understand what this means in practice. 

So, in this post, I will try to break down the most common ways people tell and how to fix it.

1. Telling Relationships and Personalities

A lot of fanfics start the way of My Immortal, with something along the lines 

“My name is so and so, I’m a senior in high school, these are my five personality traits and a three-paragraph description of my outfit. This is my best friend/love interest and here’s all the same information about them.”

I feel like everyone above the age of... fourteen understands that this is bad writing, but I still see a slightly more advanced version of this pop up in many people’s manuscripts. (Especially manuscripts told in first person for some reason?)

When you spoon-feed your audience this information, it feels like you’re breaking the fourth wall and you’ve paused to give us some backstory as the author. Because your character has no reason to be thinking about all this. 

And nobody believes you, because you're just telling us something, but haven’t portrayed that within the story.

For example: Let’s say you want to illustrate that your main character’s best friend is a flighty party girl, who is a little too nosy and is constantly trying to mess with the main character’s love life. 

Well, instead of saying, “This is my best friend Chris, she’s always coming from some party and trying to set me up on dates”, what you can do is have the best friend burst into the MC’s apartment with her spare key in yesterday’s cocktail dress and heels, and start rambling about how she lost her wallet in someone’s apartment last night, and she couldn’t get an Uber or take the subway, so thank god the MC lives in a walking distance from the party. Then after the MC lets the BFF use her shower, the BFF tells her about how she met this cool guy who would be perfect for the MC.

What you are showing in that scene: they are close because she has a key to the house and the MC shares her clothes with the BFF, she’s a flighty party girl because she goes to parties loses her stuff in other people’s houses, and she is constantly trying to set up the MC on dates. 

Or, let’s say you want to portray that a character has a tense relationship with her father, but is close to her mother. 

So maybe have a scene where she shares something personal with her mother and they laugh, but when her father enters the room, she gets tense, doesn’t want to tell him the story, and pretends it's nothing.

Think of it as, instead of giving the reader the information, you “put it in a scene.” The readers get all the same information, but it’s no longer spoon-fed to them, and instead, it’s illustrated. So this time, they actually believe you. 

2. Naming Emotions.

This one is pretty straight-forward. People tend to name emotions in the narrative. “He looked confused.” “His face showed anger.” “He eyes regarded her with admiration.”

Just... don’t do that.

Instead, try to show the emotion by describing the character’s body language. Or through their inner thoughts and sensation. Or through their dialog.

For example: Instead of “He was confused. What did she mean by that?” Try: “He frowned. What?”

Instead of “He was angry at whoever would hurt his sister like that.” Try, “His face darkened. “I will smash his head in, just say the word!”

3. Telling Through Dialog

Expositional dialog finds its way most of often in fantasy and sci-fi, but also pops up in contemporary and historical, especially if you have some kind of professional field or time period you need to set up. The “as you know, Bob” structure for conveying to the audience things that the characters would know, but the audience doesn’t. 

The best advice is to insert this only when it’s relevant to the plot, and talk about it in a way that feels natural, like two people in that situation would actually speak to each other about. 

Also, don’t go overboard with world-building. It’s pretty cool that you went through all this work to build your world, but the audience doesn’t need every little detail, especially not right away.

4. That Extra Step

The other thing I also see writers do is essentially the “show and tell” sandwich. You show something, but you can’t help yourself push it that extra step into telling.

For this I will use an example of my own writing (not because I’m the end-all-be-all of writers, just because I think it’s weird to use other people’s):

He’s lucky he gets a choice. We both live in the Burrows, but Nox is the only child of two abled parents. He can work for his own bread, he doesn’t have a brother in a wheelchair, or a single mother barely managing to make ends meet, and mountains of medical debt along with all his other debt.

Now, this paragraph SHOWS the main character bitterness and jealousy that her best friend is doing better than her financially and it's perfectly fine as is (it also has some telling, but I’ll go into why that’s okay into the next section).

But I could’ve written it as:

He’s lucky he gets a choice. We both live in the Burrows, but Nox is the only child of two abled parents. He can work for his own bread, he doesn’t have a brother in a wheelchair, or a single mother barely managing to make ends meet, and mountains of medical debt along with all his other debt. And I hated that he had it so easily, it made me jealous.

That last sentence? Going way overboard! 

Just trust your readers. Occasionally you’ll see readers who don’t get it, but they are usually outliers. Or just poor readers. That happens too.

5. When is it okay to tell?

Some details are okay to just... say. There’s no need to beat around the bush about every little thing. 

Unless you are writing fantasy or complex sci-fi, it’s fine to just say the character’s ethnicity, for instance. Don’t go overboard on the description - you can just use the word, that’s fine.

You can also just say your character is tall or short instead of having them constantly bump into door frames or reach for things.

You can also give background details of characters that don’t really affect the plot or story that much. Like in the previous example, I use telling to show Nox’s situation, because his parents' background doesn’t really affect much and my main goal with that paragraph was to show how Jules feels about it, rather than spend a lot of words on his family. 

Basically, all kinds of information that you don’t need or want to hit the character hard emotionally and is just for background, can be told. That said, don’t go overboard and describe every detail either, just summarize stuff for us.

Words are precious after all, and the more words you spend on something, the more important it seems.

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

Hwang Hyunjin// Happy Howlidays

Stray Kids Christmas Series

Scenario: “Parents are gone, but the dogs are still here. Maybe Christmas should be dog-themed this year? “ Genre: Fluff/ Humour Tropes: Already dating Pairing: non idol!Hwang Hyunjin X Reader Word count: 9,4K Warning: Fluff, Fluff and only Fluff. Hyunjin being dumb, we love him though. A/n: I know that it is January, but I still am going to finish this series.

“Okay, bags. Check. Drinks for the drive to the airport, check. Passports-“ “Mom calm down you have everything, you checked four times already.” You laughed as your mother kept checking her list. “I’m sorry dear, we’ve never gone with the four of us on vacation.” She sighs. “It’s okay, you should do it more often, it will be good for you.” “So that you and Hyunjin can be alone, I see how it is.” Hyunjin’s mother laughed.

Your boyfriend’s mother and yours had been friends for years. They grew up together and were close ever since they were kids. When they both got married, they had children, which were you and Hyunjin. The mothers used to joke how it would be cute if you and Hyunjin would date later. Through the years of you and Hyunjin being friend, in senior year, where you and Hyunjin would graduate together, he finally confessed his feelings to you which he had kept secret for years.

It was a quite emotional and cheesy moment. Hyunjin was, just like you who felt the same way towards him, scared that confessing feelings to you would ruin your friendship. Instead of it being ruined it was the start of something new. Hyunjin cried after you told him you felt the same way, he had burst out in tears because he was so nervous and scared that you just wouldn’t feel the same and that you would look at him differently and that things just wouldn’t be the same.

Your parents didn’t suspect a thing the first month of you and Hyunjin dating. It was at a dinner party at Hyunjin’s apartment where the two of you accidently revealed your relationship to your parents. He was seated next to you as you were eating together. “Baby can you pass me the water?” He asked without giving his choice of words a second thought. You all turned to Hyunjin in shock, making you almost choke on your food as you realised that he just did. “Baby?” His mother asked, making Hyunjin realise what he just said. He turned bright red and stuttered out gibberish as he tried to save himself, and you of course, from this awkward situation. “Are they dating? Really?” You mother squealed happily as she grabbed onto her best friend who was hysterically squealing as well.

“Maybe we should leave them for a while?” You said to your boyfriend whilst laughing at your parents state. The both of you were questioning your mothers’ sanity as they started to rant about whatever, you couldn’t follow. Your dads on the other hand just sat there in shock. “My little girl is dating.” Your dad started as it looked like he was about to slip into a crisis. His hands in his hair as well as he stared into nothingness. “My son is dating!” Hyunjin’s dad cheered, looking like the complete opposite of your dad, making you and Hyunjin wheeze. Your boyfriend’s dad came up to the both of you and hugged you, whilst the two of you still sat down, congratulating you.

It was a rollercoaster of a night, but you were just glad that your parents were supportive of your relationship. You dad eventually got over it as well, but he indeed had that ‘dad-talk’ with Hyunjin. He hadn’t had to add scary voices since he knew Hyunjin almost inside and out. He knew that Hyunjin grew up to be a kind young man and that he could trust him with his one and only daughter.

Your parents also gave you dogs around the same time. Hyunjin now had a little long-haired chihuahua named Kkami. Your parents gave you a little Pomeranian pup a year later after Hyunjin received Kkami. You were crazy about her, because not only was she small and fluffy, she was also crazy about Kkami. They also ended up to be best friends. As soon as you and Hyunjin realised that your dogs had such a close relationship like the two of you did, you started to go on dog-dates together. It would be the cutest thing. Your little Pomeranian, Nana, named after the dog from Peter Pan, would know when you would visit Hyunjin’s place. She would start to bark happily and wag her tail in joy. She would pull you to the door where you could hear Kkami on the other side of the door barking to sign Nana that he was there. As soon as the door opened slightly, a little snoot would squeeze its way through to get to its best friend.

You and Hyunjin would just laugh at them before you greeted each other. Even now they were sharing a little spot on the soft carpet, laying closely next to each other as they slept. “Well, take care of each other and don’t mess up the apartment when we will be gone.” You mother said as she hugged you. “You too and have fun.” “We definitely will. Well, we’ll see you in five days. You will be alright, right?” Your mother asked once again, as she caressed your cheek with both her hands. “We will be fine, he has me by his side.” You joked, receiving a dramatic gasp coming from your boyfriend. “I mean she isn’t wrong.” His mother said, making you laugh loudly as your boyfriend now looked at his mom shocked.

You would say your goodbyes to your parents before they went off to their vacation. As soon as the door slammed closed you ran into your boyfriends arms and wrapped your arms around his waist as you hugged him. You fell onto the couch, making him groan slightly as the air was knocked out of his body. You giggled when he rubbed his cheek on yours like a cat would. “We’re alone.” “I get to hold you at all times now.” Hyunjin sighs happily as he pulled you even closer to him as you laid next to him, being squeezed in between his chest and the backrest of the couch. “Yes please.” You mumbled against his skin as you just enjoyed your affection.

“What do you want to do the upcoming days?” You asked, whilst brushing your hand through his soft hair. “Well, we kind of need to decorate the house, go grocery shopping and maybe get a small Christmas tree?” “Sounds good to me, what kind of decoration-“ “My parents are gone, but the dogs are still here. Maybe Christmas should be dog-themed this year?“ Hyunjin gasped as he cut you off. “Did you just fucking rhyme.” You laughed. “But like a pupper Christmas! A howliday!” Hyunjin gasped as he shook you excitedly. “Sounds honestly like one of the best ideas you’ve ever had.” You teased, before receiving a playful push from him.

Later after laying down with Hyunjin for a little longer the two of you went out to get some ornaments for the tree that the two of you were about to find. In a little store that you had found near your apartment complex they sold a lot of Christmas ornaments, they even had animal themed once and you immediately dragged your boyfriend inside.

“Baby, look at this dog! It looks like Kkami!” You squealed as you found a little dog for in the Christmas tree. “Babe, this one looks like Nana-“ “We are so getting this!” You squealed.

After spending a little too much on puppy decoration in that little store, the two of you went to a market where you would search for the perfect Christmas tree. “This one?” He asked before presenting you the umpteenth tree. “It’s too thin on the bottom.” “This one?” He asked again. “No, too big, we won’t be able to take it back home.” You added. “This one?” He groans dramatically. “Yes! That one’s perfect-“ “Thank God!” He cried out, making you laugh before you were about to pay for the tree.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Your boyfriend says. “Paying for the tree-“ “No you’re not.” “Yes I am.” You fought back. “No you’re not, it’s for my apartment.” “And I’m a guest who’s staying at your apartment, so let me pay it for you.” “No, I’m your boyfriend I should pay-“ “I want to-“ “If the two of you can’t decide, just go Dutch.” The salesman says, making you and Hyunjin blush in embarrassment as you quickly paid the man and sped off with your tree.

“He hated our guts.” “Fuck yes he did.” You laughed.

“Children, we’re home!” You sung as you walked into the apartment, causing the little dogs to jump up to their little paws, slipping over the floor in process, before he came running towards you and Hyunjin in joy. And also hopeful on getting a treat from the two of you. “I’ll set up the tree, you go give the children a treat.” Hyunjin joked as he carried the tree inside.

When you came into the living room you found your boyfriend sitting on of the chair, tangled into the lights that he was trying to unknot. “Please help me.” He muttered as he was stuck in an uncomfortable position. You laughed loudly, almost falling to the ground, making your boyfriend whine because of it. “Baby please!” He whined as he wiggled to get lose. Instead of helping him you snapped a couple if pictures and send it to your parents.

You: ‘The lights have taken over my boyfriend, now he’s not the only thing that lights up my day.’ Mom: ‘Oh my gosh Y/n, go help the poor guy.’ Dad: ‘Hahaha lol wtf.’

After you were done texting your parents you helped your boyfriend to free himself, so the two of you could start to decorate the tree. It didn’t take you very long to finish the tree since it was rather small. “Do you want the star on top?” You asked him. “Yes, let me help you with that.” Hyunjin said before sweeping you off your feet, holding you bridal style as you put the star on top of the tree, which was already in reaching distant. You giggled uncontrollably and hit him in the arm for flustering you so badly, causing him to laugh. “Why did I choose to date such a sap.” You muttered into his chest as you hugged him. “You love me though.” “Most of the time.” You giggled, before getting tickled by him.

The two of you would continue to decorate the rest of the house. You and Hyunjin would try to put lights on the frame of the window, to make it look aesthetically pleasing. Hyunjin went to grab some tape or something to make the wiring stick and stay to the wall, whilst you tried to keep it in place. He came back to see you struggle to keep the lights up against the tall frames of the windows, making him smile. “Can you reach it Tiny?” He jokes as he went to help you, you pinched him in his sides making him stop functioning for a second whilst shrieking.

Sooner enough the two of you had finally finished decorating the house, you would rest your head on his shoulder as you looked around proudly. The two of you had made a special little Christmas corner near the heater where their bed was. There was a little doghouse next to their bed where the two puppy ornaments were placed, maybe not the best idea, but it definitely was one of the cutest.

It was getting late and you still needed to go grocery shopping together. Fortunately for you the stores were still open as you arrived at the mall. When you strolled around after getting the food you needed you came across a couple of dog pictures that were displayed in the shop window. “Hyunjin! Photoshoot! Christmas! Puppies!” Were the only words that you could make out through the enthusiasm that came over you like a big wave. Hyunjin was confused at the lack of words you used and made his way towards you, before he could take a look at the pictures you had already dragged him into the store. “Look at these tiny costumes!” You cried happily at the cuteness.

And so, you and Hyunjin bought more dog frills for the Christmas time. At the drive back home you were too busy looking for inspiration for the photoshoot that you definitely wanted to shoot with your dogs, and Hyunjin of course. You didn’t even bother helping him unpack the groceries as you walked straight to your dog with a tiny blonde dog who was wagging her tail, not knowing what would happen in the next minute. When Hyunjin heard you squeal for the umpteenth time that day, he figured that you had put on the tiny costume on Nana. The poor dog looked up to Hyunjin with a lost and confused look on her face. In the mean time you were almost on the edge of tears as you looked at the adorableness that your dog held. “Are you alright baby?” Your boyfriend asked you whilst laughing at how cute you were being. “I’m not, because I also have this green one for Kkami-“ “Give that to me woman I need this!” Hyunjin gasped as he grasped the green costume and went to chase his dog and ending up in tears with you, causing both of the dogs look at you questioning both of your sanity. “This was the best decision we’ve ever made as a couple!” He cried dramatically as he was frantically taking pictures of the dogs. You would edit the pictures to make it a Christmas card you could send to people on social media, the reactions starts to flow in. You would read them and respond to them as proud parents as you shared the cuteness of your pups. When the pups would’ve gone to sleep you and your boyfriend would sneak into the kitchen to make try and make cookies, both for you and the dogs. Hyunjin had found a receipt online before he attempted to bake something. The difference between the kitchen side of his and yours were drastic. He had flower all over his face, the wall and his clothes. You on the other hands, no dough to be found on your fingers, the wall was still squeaky clean and your looks were still flawless. “How in the world-“ “I’m capable of doing things.” You teased him as you rubbed the flower even more over his face as you cupped his face. “Come here you brat.” He joked, before ducking his face into your neck, rubbing the excess flower on your face, hair and shirt.

“No baby no!” You squealed as you tried to push him away. “No feel my love baby!” He sung a he shook his head like a dog, causing the flower to fly into the air, making you laugh.

After cleaning up and waiting for another fifteen minutes as soon as the timer went off you boyfriend ran to the kitchen and swung the oven door open. Hyunjin was too excited for the cookies to bake, he had eaten all the left-over dough form the bowl, the whisk, he even kissed some off your fingers, making you blush as he stared at you deeply as he did so.

Hyunjin was about to grab the plate out of the oven, making you yell at him in panic for him being a dumbass and not wearing over gloves. “You’re the dumbest bitch, oh my Gosh my heart is pounding.” You cried out in laughter as Hyunjin ended up on the floor from your yelling. “Your heart is pounding? I just got assaulted-“ “I just saved your ass what do you mean?” You yelled as you threw the other glove to his head.

You had taken the cookies out and let it cool off so the two of you could decorate it. You each took one, because you were too impatient to wait before you could try them, both of your mouths would burn as you took a bite out of it. Sighing in content when the cold milk cooled your mouths down from the heat. “Why does it taste so weird?” Hyunjin asked whilst chewing on his cookie. “Hyunjin, I just told you, you were dumb, but this just fucking peaked. You’re eating the dog’s cookies!” You laughed loudly, almost spitting out yours as you watched your boyfriend being dumb for the umpteenth time that night. “I was wondering why I tasted bacon.” Hyunjin laughed along, before he went to the dogs and gave it to them, or well laid it in their bowl since they were sound asleep.

The two of you were exhausted after that night full of baking and cleaning. The two of you fell asleep on the couch with a big blanket draped over the two of you that he had brought from his room. The next morning the two of you groaned in pain, because both of your necks were too stiff from the uncomfortable position you had laid in all night.

You ended up massaging each other as you sat across from each other, the both of you were still too tired to function, before some more time went by and you had decided to get cleaned up and go on a walk with the dogs. You would enter a dog park where there was also a little stall that sold hot chocolate milk that the owners could buy whilst enjoying the sight of their puppies having fun. You laid your head on Hyunjin’s chest as you sat on a bench together, the two of you just enjoyed your time together holding hands and just feelings each other’s’ warmth in the freezing weather.

A couple of kids who also were playing around the dog park. They were cutely asking you and Hyunjin for permission to pet them and give them treats. You of course let them and the two dogs loved the extra attention they received from the kids. “Will you and your wife come here more often so we can play with Kkami and Nana?” One of the Kids asked politely as they held their parents’ hand. You almost spit out your drink and Hyunjin just smiled sweetly at the child. “We might be around here sometime! I think Nana and Kkami really liked you! You would be great friends, we will hopefully meet again in the future!” “Will your wife be there as well? She’s really pretty!” He whispered to Hyunjin, making you awe. “She probably will, I can’t live without her.” Hyunjin winked before he ruffled the hair of the kid and saying goodbye to him.

“You’re the sweetest thing, I swear.” You sighed happily. “I love you too.” He muttered with a sweet smile on his lips as he kissed your temple. “I would love to call you my actual wife in the future though.” He added. “Y-you want to marry me?” You asked him in shock. “Of course I do, I couldn’t imagine anyone else by my side other than you in the future. I love you too much to let you go.” He smirked as he pressed kisses on your cheek.

Later on, back home from a fun day at the dog park, Nana and Kkami were exhausted and snoring away in their bed after eating the homemade cookies. You were in the kitchen, boiling some chicken soup whilst cooking you and your boyfriend something as well for supper. Hyunjin would come up behind you as you would be stirring away. He had rested his head on your shoulder as you continued to cook for him.

“I wished this moment could last forever.” He whispered into your hair as he kissed the nape of your neck in affection. “I love moments like this with you as well. They are they best.” You muttered back, resting your head on his slightly. “I can’t wait for us to get our own place. Not that I don’t like this, but I can get to be with you at any time I want.” He said happily as he hugged you even tighter. “Do you really think about stuff like that?” You asked him rather shocked. “Of course I do, when I have such a beautiful girlfriend, I have to think about a future with her or else she might think this will lead to nowhere.” He admitted softly, making you turn off the stove and turn around to face him. You had now wrapped your arms around his neck as you looked at him endearingly. “I’m not going nowhere honey, if we don’t have the money yet to live on ourselves, I’d still be happy to spend time like this with you.” You pressed a kiss on his cheek, making him smile. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

The night went on and the two of you had decided to eat dinner on the couch, whilst later on cuddling together with the dogs on your laps, with a blanket draped over the four of you.

Once again, the two of you ended up falling asleep on the couch, causing you to wake up with a pain in your neck. “Baby, we should sleep in bed from now on, I like massaging you, but we shouldn’t.” You chuckled as you sat across each other again as you massaged each other. “I would massage you all day if it would make you feel relaxed.” Hyunjin admitted. “Uh-“ “Not like that!” Hyunjin sighed in disbelief, making you laugh before pressing a kiss on his lips. “You love me though” “Most days.”

You and Hyunjin went out to walk with the dogs and ended up at a dog café. The owner saw you two and told you that you two were a beautiful couple and that they were actually in need of a couple for a photoshoot for their café promotions. You and Hyunjin happily agreed to help the lady out and before the two of you knew it, the pair of you plus your dogs were dressed up in matching sweaters and smiling for the camera.

Hyunjin would be playing cutely with Kkami as you and Nana enjoyed the products that the café offered for both people and dogs. The lady thanked you dearly and paid the two of you generously. “A Christmas gift from us for helping us out.” She had said with a bright smile before you and your boyfriend politely thanked her. The pictures and videos turned out great. You and Hyunjin couldn’t stop gushing about how cute you all were. “We’re like a little family.” He joked before kissing your cheek.

That day the two of you would go and visit a shelter to spoil the dogs there. You decided to not bring your own dog for their sake of safety since the other dogs might not all be mentally healthy. The two of you had done this for a few years now, even before you started dating have the two of you gone together to the shelter. It’s one of the things Hyunjin had always loved about you: showing kindness to everything that lives. Even when you accidently bump against a plant you would apologise to your ‘Mr Papyrus’.

He always thought you were the cutest when you were in your soft and kind state. At the shelter he was at first very worried that you would get hurt, but the animals got a certain vibe of safety around you and gently came towards you as you fed them. Today as well, you had recognised some of the dogs who were still at the shelter and went to greet them first.

Hyunjin would smile at you fondly and look at you with his eyes filled with love. He would chuckle shyly when the other volunteers would coo at him at how cute of a couple the two of you were or that he must feel lucky to have such a great girl like you. He would bow to them politely and then rush to where you were and help you wash the dogs. He would splash some water in your face and neck every now and then, receiving a gasp from you before laughing as the dog joined in by shaking off the water on her fur.

You would pet them for many hours before you had to say goodbye. The two of you also had decided to donate the money, you had earned at the photoshoot, to the shelter so the dogs could have a better living environment. You would walk back home, hand in hand, as it snowed. He couldn’t stop looking at you and you laughed when he bumped into objects like streetlights. “Look ahead.” You would tell him. “Why would I when I can look at you?” He smirked, making you let go off his hand and start to walk ahead of him. He ran after you, crashing into your body as he hugged you from behind, picking you up in process as he twirled you around. “I just love you so much, I can’t have enough of you.” He would confess before he kissed you softly. “I love you more.” You whispered against his lips. “Impossible.”

After the two of you came home, you went to walk with the dogs, who were also very excited to see you after hours alone with each other. Later on you and Hyunjin would change into you pyjamas and sit on the couch. It was already getting late, so you suggested to get into bed and watch tv there. The two of you would be laying in his bed as the tv played, you both weren’t paying attention to it at all as you suggested to buy each other gifts. “We could do a ‘secret Santa’?” Hyunjin suggested. “But I know you would be my secret Santa and visa versa, you dummy.” You laughed as Hyunjin facepalmed himself. “But we could keep it secret what we got each other? And it doesn’t have to be expensive, just like three things and maybe a thing for the dogs?” “For the first time in our relationship you’ve said something intelligent.” You gasped sarcastically. “Get over here!” Hyunjin would mumble before he turned over to tower over you and tickle you as you laid under him.

You would squeal loudly, making the dogs jump up and run to you worried. You would be out of breath after the tickle fight. The two of you now were exhausted. Hyunjin was resting his head on your chest as you laid together in bed. The two of you had fallen asleep together, but never really purposely slept in the same bed together, since the both of you were either too shy or too awkward. Hyunjin had sneaked into your room every now and then when sleeping over, claiming he missed you. He would get into your warm bed and cuddle together.

He looked up to you with tired but happy eyes before the two of you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning it was already the twenty-third of December, the two of you got up early after a, for once, good sleep. You two were headed with your dog carriers to the mall where you had split up to get each other presents.

You were lost at first on what to give your boyfriend. You had looked around for ages at the mall. You had ran into Hyunjin every now and then, him grinning at you as he not-so-smoothly passed you, trying to hide the bags he was carrying. “You better get me something!” Hyunjin told you with a playful grin on his face. “Calm down! I need inspiration!” “Y/n! You know me! Don’t think to hard!” He said before he ran to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead before running off to his own adventure again.

In the last hour of the two of you being at the mall, you finally came across a boutique where you brought him a new necklace and a nice blouse he could wear for Christmas. You didn’t doubt it if he’d look good in it or not, your boyfriend looked handsome in anything. He could be wearing a trash bag and you would tell him to strike a pose for the ‘gram.

You got Kkami a cute new collar that matched Hyunjin’s new blouse, so the two could match for Christmas. Lastly you got a bunch of snacks for him and some beauty products to keep his skin healthy and pretty.

When the two of you got home, he would be in the living room and you would be in the kitchen as you were both wrapping the gifts. “Hyunjin stop peeking. I will eat all the cookies by myself if you’re not going to quit it!” You sighed as your boyfriend kept barging into the kitchen to ‘get something he needed’. “I’m not, Kkami wanted a- uh-“ “You’re not talking yourself out of this one Hwang.” You laughed at your speechless boyfriend. “Shut up.” He muttered with a pout on his lips, making you laugh harder.

After you were done with wrapping your presents, you were getting bored since Hyunjin was wrapping his presents at slug-speed. You decided that it would be fun to mess with him. You grabbed his phone sneakily before keeping it in your back pocket as you made your way to the electricity box. You flicked the switch, causing the apartment to go dark, making you giggle as you heard Hyunjin yell in surprise. “Baby? Where are you?” You decided to keep quite as you stayed where you were. “Baby, this isn’t funny.” Hyunjin called out once more. “Y/n, I can’t find my phone and it’s dark and you aren’t responding to me, please just say something or make a noise.” He begged.

You could hear him walking closer to were you were, bumping into walls every now and then until he finally reached you. You had a flashlight ready and aimed at your face to make you look scary as you jump scared your boyfriend. Hyunjin yelped and fell down dramatically as he jumped in shock, making you laugh as you turned the electricity back on. “What was that for? You gave me a heart attack!” Hyunjin cried out whilst laughing along with you. “I was bored.” “Excuse me? So that makes you think it’s alright for you to give me a heart failure?” He chuckled as he sat back up straight. “You make my heart fail everything I look at you, this is a little payback.” You winked before kissing his head and walking away from your now-flustered boyfriend.

The night went on with the two of you being bored out of your mind, it was nowhere near bedtime and you both wanted to do something. You ended up watching YouTube videos together, when you suddenly stumbled across a video where dogs were paw-painting. You and Hyunjin looked at each other with wide eyes as the video that was streaming on the tv continued to play. “I’ll get the paint!” Hyunjin yelled as the both of you shot up to get the stuff to be creative with your pups. The dogs thought you wanted to play with them and made you chase after them, as they wagged their tails happily. Hyunjin walked back into the room, with a big plastic spread and a couple bowls and towels.

“I don’t think it would be safe for the pups to use regular paint on their paws, so I thought about using food as paint.” Your boyfriend wiggled his eyebrows as he suggested the so-called brilliant idea to you. You laughed loudly when your idiot forgot to put the lid on the blender, making the strawberries go everywhere.

“I can’t believe I’m dating someone as dumb as you.” You giggled as you wiped some of the strawberry mush off his face. “But you love me.” He sang sweetly before shooting you a wink.

Finally after preparing the ‘dye’ you dipped the paws of your pups into the mush. You let them walk around on the canvasses and the now-not-so-blank-anymore papers, making you and your boyfriend laugh when they started to chase each other and licking their own paws, enjoying the sweetness of the strawberries.

After the fun, you let the paintings dry and coated them with a thick layer of hairspray, both not in the mood for flies to be attracted to your new artwork. Hyunjin started to whine eventually that night, because he was in the mood for something, but since the both of you had used your fruit for art, you were out of it. Hyunjin whined some more and tried to drag you off the couch to make you join him on his quest to get some snacks from the convenience store. “Can’t you go by yourself?” You groaned as you hugged the couch for dear life as your boyfriend kept trying to drag you off it. “I don’t want to go by myself.” He whined. “You big baby.” “Yes I am, only for you and I don’t want to be alone, so can you just get your butt off the couch and come with me so we can get over this.” “Ugh, alright, but you owe me one.” You slowly got up, making Hyunjin groan this time. “Stop being such a slug and get moving woman!” He picked you up, making you squeal as he walked the both of you towards the door.

“Wait! I don’t have my shoes on!” You yelled, almost cutely, making him chuckle. He picked up a random pair of yours and grabbed your coat and threw it over you whilst still holding you, making you scoff in disbelief.

An hour or two later, the two of you had finally returned home from your little adventure. Hyunjin almost sold out the entire store, he had bought so much. You were just staring at him in disbelief and shock as he rushed around with his basket, filled until the brim with snacks and drinks.

You got even more embarrassed when you ran into some ‘fans’. The pair of you loved making pictures of each other and having little photoshoots, since the you two are just breath taking. And the people on the internet seemed to love it as well. You had almost a couple million people who followed the two of you. They found your relationship adorable and your looks of course more than pleasant. The three girls who squealed when they saw the two of you bickering away, caught your attention. And when they stared to compliment you, you began to hide your face into your boyfriend’s chest, making them squeal all over again. Even though the two of you looked like a mess, you still agreed to take a picture with them after they asked.

Now after that lovely late-night adventure, the two of you had changed into your matching pyjamas and both stuffed full with whatever Hyunjin had bought the two of you, both laying on the couch whilst listening to R&B love songs together.

Later, he suddenly grabbed your hand and raised you on your feet. He had pulled you close to his chest as he suddenly started moving slowly to the beat. You laughed warmly at his action and out of instinct, wrapped your arms around his neck whilst looking at him adoringly. He twirled you around, receiving a pile of giggles from you. You spun back into his arm and you held his cheeks into your smaller hands. He leaned down with a smile as he pressed a soft kiss onto your lips.

Even the dogs seemed to join in after a while, but in reality, they were chasing your colourful socks, trying to munch on them.

“What?” He asked you as he caught you staring at him. “I just love you so much.” “I love you too baby.” He chuckles, whilst shaking his head. “Don’t laugh at me and just kiss me you fool.” You whined before pulling him close again.

The next morning, you woke up early. Which you usually did compared to your boyfriend, since he was such a heavy sleeper. You could throw him off your bed and he would still sleep through it. When you were buying gifts for Hyunjin the other day, you found a mistletoe and went to bought it. You were trying to hang it up above the doorframe until your boyfriend walked in, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he spoke to you with a yawn. “What are you doing?” He asked, holding your waist protectively to make sure you didn’t fall off the chair you were standing on. “What do you think I’m doing?” You ask in responds. “Hanging up a ceiling booger.” He smiled sheepishly, making you laugh loudly and almost losing your balance.

He picked you up and put you back on the floor, since the branch was hung above the both of you. “You really don’t know what that is?” You asked him in disbelief. “No, what is that ceiling booger thing.” “Guess you fricking moron.” “I don’t know! A booger-“ “A mistletoe you dumbass!” You laughed, making him crumble into a ball of embarrassment.

You immediately exposed him on Instagram, filming him whilst laughing. “I’m dating the dumbest boy in the entire world. He didn’t know what I was putting up, which was a mistletoe. Now tell them what you called it.” “A ceiling booger-“ “A ceiling booger!” You yelled. “Let me die of embarrassment in peace woman!” Hyunjin groans as he clings onto you. “Never!” “Well, you’re always needy for these lips-“ “And that’s enough internet for today! Merry Christmas everyone!” You yelled, turning the camera to you before switching it off.

“You’re so stupid, I love you.” You giggled as Hyunjin was still curved into a ball. “I love you too.” He muttered, whilst still pouting. “Want to take a nap? Our parents are coming back later this afternoon-“ “Yes-“

Once again, you woke up earlier than your boyfriend, a couple hours later. You noticed the sunlight shining through the curtains. Sliding off the couch and out of your boyfriend’s  grip you went to open the blinds, planning on annoying your boyfriend. Instead, you squealed loudly in excitement, almost scaring the dogs awake when you saw the thick layer of white snow resting on the city. Running to your boyfriend you almost crashed on top of him, your fluffy socks were slippery than you thought. “Babe-“ “There’s snow outside! Get up! I want to go outside!” You groaned as you tried to get your tall ass boyfriend off the couch.

“Let me wake up-“ “No time! You can wake up in the snow!” You stopped trying to get him up, instead you were hopping around, gathering your stuff whilst trying to put on your snow boots. “Baby, be careful you will hurt yourself.” He laughed tiredly whilst stretching his limbs.

Before he knew it, he was standing outside shivering his butt off. In the meantime you were running around after the dogs whilst making patterns in the snow. Hyunjin smiled to himself as he watched the scene happening in front of his eyes. He saw the two pups running after each other and tripping over their own feet, making both of them end up with their snout in the cold snow. He took out his phone and recorded your cuteness, also contemplating with himself if he should post this online, or to keep this all to himself.

In the end he kept it for himself, since he loved being the only one able to see this soft and sweet side of yours. Sooner enough, he was dragged, for the umpteenth time this morning, and was forced to make snow angels and a snow-couple plus two tiny snow-dogs with you. “Baby, your clothes are soaking wet, let’s go inside before you catch yourself a cold.” Hyunjin groans worried as you were whining to stay outside. “We can come back later you know? Besides, our parents will come home later and the place is a literal mess. I also don’t feel like dying on Christmas day, murdered by my parents for turning the place upside down, so get your cute butt back inside and let’s clean!” Now it was your turn to be dragged, the small dogs following the two of you behind.

And so, the two of you started to clean the mess that you called his apartment. You had compromised that you would clean the kitchen and the living room and that he would take the bedroom and the bathroom. When you were finished you were wondering how your boyfriend was doing so you went to check up on in. You got suspicious when it was awfully quiet. After swinging open the bedroom door you let out a chuckle in disbelief. Here he was, passed out on his bed, a cloth over his face as he laid there.

You wanted to wake him up, but nothing seemed to work. You smirked to yourself after removing the cloth off his face to reveal his puffy cheeks. Blowing raspberry kisses on his cheeks, caused a loud funny noise and before you knew it you were pulled down on top of Hyunjin whilst laughing. “Who told you, you could sleep?” You pouted whilst slapping his arm playfully.

The pair of you would get you would get up and clean the last bits of the apartment, before the two of you went grocery shopping. It was so busy and you two regretted not doing it earlier this week. An elder couple smiled warmly at the both of you when she heard you sing along to the Christmas songs in the middle of the store. The two of you were minding your own business, having a little sing-off in the snack isle, when you heard a sudden applause. “I remember my husband and I being this young and crazy. Just enjoying life and each other. Bless your hearts and may you have a great holiday.” She smiled, her sweet words touching both of your hearts.

When they had left, the two of you shot each other a look and cringed in embarrassment, before quickly leaving the store after gathering everything. Trying to avoid another confrontation from another witness.

“I want it.” “Excuse me- you want what now baby?” He smirked. “Don’t be stupid, I want that.” You said whilst nodding towards the cookie, which you made earlier this week, that your boyfriend was holding. “Uhm, no I picked it up first.” “So, I did all the work I deserve that-“ “You didn’t let me do anything-“ “Because I don’t trust your so-called ‘cooking skills’.” You laughed before trying to snatch the cookie out of his hand.

“Nice try baby, but at least be fair about it.” He said with a smug smile. “And what did you had in mind?” You asked, whilst crossing your arms and staring at him. “Rock, paper, scissors, the winner gets the cookie.” And so, a thirty-minute battle of rock, paper, scissors went on between you and your boyfriend, but still ending up in a tie no matter what.

“This is ridiculous! Let’s do something else-“ “Aegyo battle!” Hyunjin screamed. “Well, that’s something I never thought I’d hear coming out of your mouth.” You laughed in surprise. “Are you in or not? Winner gets the cookie.” “Can’t we-“

You were cut off by an ‘cute’ act of Hyunjin, making you almost scoff in disgust. You shot one right back at him and you could see the change in his eyes from amusement to agony. Or well, sort off. He loved it when you acted cute for him, every now and then, but this time one of the most delicious cookies in the entire world was on the line.

And so the battles went on. In the end you had defeated your boyfriend. “You’re my man. My sweet talented man who I love so much. No this much! No this much!” You said whilst spreading your arms and hugging him afterwards. He started to squeal and pushed the cookie in your mouth, making you groan.

He pouted as he turned his gaze away from you. He really wanted that cookie. “Here.” You said as you broke off half of it and handed it to him. “Wait-“ “If you would’ve listened to me earlier, you would’ve heard me say that we could’ve just split the thing and enjoy it together. Instead of going through all this effort on winning with these dumb battles.” “But you enjoyed them though.” He muffled with a mouth full of cookie, making you shake your head whilst smiling. “Idiot.” “What?” “Nothing baby.”

“Oh my God, I’m an idiot.” Hyunjin whispered to himself as he stared at the cookie jar in front of him. “You’re telling me, that you’ve hidden a full jar of cookies from me?” You asked in disbelief as you stared down at your boyfriend. “I- no!” He stuttered. “Yes you did! Those are so mine now!” You say snatching the jar from him, putting a cookie half-way into your mouth whilst doing a little dance to tease him.

He just smirked and swiftly stepped closer to you and leaned in, keeping eye contact with you the entire time. He bit the other half off, causing your heart to flutter. He would laugh at your flustered state and mock your little dance from earlier. “You can’t just do that! My poor heart!” “You asked for it.” He smirked. “How can my heart handle your handsomeness-“ “Woman look what you’re doing to my heart!” He groaned back whilst the both of you clutched your chests dramatically.

“By the way, do you want to open the present later, or right now?” Your boyfriend asked, after he had caught his breath. “Let’s do it now, our family will be back later and I want some time for ourselves.” You responded. “You said that as if we didn’t had any alone time these past days.” He laughed, before he walked off to gather all the presents.

You two sat across from each other as you opened the presents you had bought for one another. Hyunjin loved the blouse, the necklace and the matching collar you had bought for him and Kkami. To top that you had bought him a new game for his Nintendo Switch, that the two of you would probably play later that night.

Hyunjin was excited to see you opening your presents. He had bought you a nice big and warm hoodie, one with a bit of poof in the sleeves and you loved it. He had also bought you a small bow for your dog that matched the cute hoodie. You immediately went to your pup and squealed at how cute Nana looked. “And we always save the best for last.” He said as he pulled out a velvet box. You had a heart attack when you opened your eyes when he cued you could, the fabric of the box giving you a little hint on what it could be. “Oh my God, for a second I thought you were going to propose.” You muttered flustered, making him laugh as well. “Soon baby, soon.” He muttered back before pressing a kiss on your cheek. “What-“ “Just open the box woman!” He groans, making you jump in surprise and open the box, causing you to gasp.

It was a beautiful ring that was hung on a necklace chain, which matched the ring necklace your boyfriend always wore. “Read the letter baby.” He whispered.

‘Hi baby, It’s been a while since we got together. These past years have been the greatest years of my life. I can’t thank the universe enough for letting us meet and setting us up. You are truly the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re an actual gift- no blessing from above and I sometimes can’t believe that you’re mine. I love you so much baby, with this ring I will promise you to exchange that to an actual diamond engagement ring one day. For now let’s match together and be happy. I love you so much. Merry Christmas my love.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Your loving boyfriend Hyunjin.’

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at the end of the letter and you threw yourself into Hyunjin’s arms who was also an emotional wreck. “I love you!” “I love you too!”

Hours went by and your parents had already texted you that they would be on their way back. To kill time you and your boyfriend had decided to check out that new game you had bought him. And the both of you being dramatic as usual, it ended up in a chaotic, and playful, screaming match. “What are you doing! Hey! Watch out! You’re going to get us both killed-“ Hyunjin was cut off by Nana who was barking loudly at him, setting her two paws on his foot to say ‘Stop yelling at my mom!’ Causing you to laugh.

“She’s got my back honey.” You giggled before returning your attention to the game. In the middle of the game, when the both of you started to grow a little tired of it after playing for a long time, you felt cold. “Did you turn on the heater?” You asked Hyunjin who just stared blankly in front of him. “Oh my God, I really am dating a dumbass.” You laughed as you got up to check it out for yourself. “No wonder we were freezing our asses off! You never turned it on?” You asked, still in disbelief of his stupidity.

“Well, I was excited for Christmas and I forgot-“ “Nonsense, you’re just dumb-“ “No need to hurt me woman!” He groans dramatically. “I’ll make us some tea, go get the blankets. It will take some time to heat up the entire apartment.”

You would be cuddled under a blanket with hot tea in your hands as you sat on the couch, dogs laying comfortably in between the space of you two.

“I’m so glad our parents are coming back today, I really want to go out and eat some nice food with all of us.” He mutters as he had rested his head on your shoulder. “So, you’re saying that I don’t cook well-“ “Don’t do that. You know what I meant. Stop playing.” He groans as he shuts you up with a kiss pressed onto your lips, causing you to hide your face in his chest. He laughed loudly before hugging you and pressing yet another kiss on top of your head.

“Hyunjin?” “Hmm?” He responded. “We got to walk the dogs.” “It’s cold.” He whined as he looked outside to see that it was snowing yet again. “I know, but we better do it now so we can return back to our cosy warm blankets.” You would make your way through the park, hand in hand as you had both of your dogs on a leash. Suddenly, and to this day you still have no idea what overcame your dogs, but they started to run around like crazy. “What- Nana calm down!” You yelled as she ran around you and Hyunjin. Kkami copying her actions, causing you and Hyunjin to end up tied and their movements made the two of you fall into the snow together. “Did we just get pranked by our dogs?” You laughed in disbelief as you hugged your covered-in-snow-boyfriend. “I believe so.” He laughed as well as he tried to untie you. “I guess we got to get back and get a hot shower then, cause that blanket isn’t warm enough for this crap.” You whined.

Not long after returning home, you had hopped into the shower. And when you were done you put on one of Hyunjin’s sweaters, instead of the new one he had bought you. You really wanted to safe that one another time, especially since the both of you were getting dressed up to go out tonight.

Hyunjin gasped loudly and dramatically when he saw you walk in with his hoodie on, as if he had never seen you in his clothes before. It was just one of the few things that had him smitten for you. He wanted to rush over to you, to hug you. And expecting you to hug him, instead he got you dodging away from him and squealing. “I just got warm.” You whined once again. “And I’m freezing still. And you just happened to look awfully comfortable and warm. Just let met hug you-“ “No!” “C’mon! Just a little hug!” He teased, whilst running after you. “No! Get away from me you cold demon!” You squealed as you tried to dodge him still as you ran around the couch.

For a moment, the two of you were staring each other in the eye and he suddenly smirked at you, causing you to gulp loudly. He jumped over the couch and tackled you to the ground. “No! Defeat!” You yelled, before bursting into laughter, which turned into squealing not much later when Hyunjin pressed lots of kisses onto your skin.

And yet again, the two of you fell asleep. This time you laying on top of him. There’s a reason why people call you the ‘dream couple’. But Hyunjin would try and convince you that it was scientifically proven that napping together strengthened the bond of someone’s relationship. And to your surprise it actually was an article, so you just went on and lived by science’s words.

You two were still asleep when your parents walked back into the apartment. They awed when they saw the four of you, including the dogs, sleeping. Hyunjin’s mother couldn’t help but snap a couple of pictures of the young couple. “Aren’t they sweet together?” “They are, aren’t they.” The mothers cooed. “My baby girl is all grown up.” Your father whispered dramatically, receiving a slap on his chest from his wife as he ‘pinked’ away his ‘tears’.

“Maybe we should go on vacations more often, they seem to have handled this quite well.” “We should. And I think they would love to have some more alone time at home.” “No, not Y/n she loves us. My little princess would never-“ “Honey stop it.” Your mother laughed at your father’s drama act.

“Can you guys be quiet, she’s sleeping.” Hyunjin whispered, causing the four parents to jump in surprise. “Gosh, you’re awake. How was it honey?” His mother whispered as she went to kiss her son’s forehead. “It was great mom, I got to have a taste on what it was sort of like to live with her. I really am looking forward to us living together. I love spending time with her, or being around her in general. And I really am not just saying that because her parents are right there. I genuinely love your daughter and I hope to spend the rest of my life with her. And no, I didn’t propose, even though this may sounds like I did. But I did promise her that I would exchange the promise ring into an engagement ring one day.” Hyunjin whispered as he looked down at you adoringly.

“We would be happy to have you in the family Hyunjin. You already got our blessing.” Your father responded, causing Hyunjin to smile happily. “I promise to take good care of her.” “We know you will.”

He looked back down to you and sneakily pressed a kiss onto your hair. Christmas with his family, his dog, your dog and of course you were the best. Knowing that he got your parents’ blessing, his day couldn’t get any better.

He for sure now knew what he would get you next year.

Gif isn’t mine.

I hope you guys liked it!

[butterbeeryuta]

the ikea guy

ikea employee!yangyang x uni student!reader | oneshot series | fluff, CRACK| 1.9 k

Fuck Kim Doyoung. Fuck his boyfriend. Fuck the weak ass tv rack you bought. Fuck the human’s Id taking control over people. Fuck humanity.

The last thing you wanted to see was your roommate and his boyfriend, who were both barely clothed by the way, trying to fix the already broken tv rack you bought 2 years ago when you moved out of the dorms to a new apartment 8 minutes away from your university. Short story short, the two men were busy doing their shit— which you honestly did not mind since you yourself bring home some guys to, you know, have fun with. But what you could not understand was why they had to do in your living room, against the tv rack. All you could remember was screaming at Doyoung, while Taeyong was there apologising, but you knew that the little devil was internally laughing, finding the entire situation hilarious. Your roommate, on the other hand, was not giving a shit about what you were saying, which was normal for the two of you. Ever since he moved in with you in your second year, both of you had an interesting relationship. Despite your arguments with one another and ‘uncaringness,’ assuming that is a word, the two of you still looked after another. A month or so ago, Doyoung kept you up all night since he was busy having a little drinking party in his room, and his friends were loud. Especially that Jaehyun guy; his laugh alone could honestly wake up the entire neighbourhood. Then again, Doyoung’s laugh is pretty ugly too considering he literally laughs like, ‘ha ha ha ha ha ha.’ I swear, you love Doyoung. Anyways, Doyoung nicely mailed all of your professors the next day that you were feeling unwell, allowing you to stay in and sleep a bit more. Except, he told you about it while you were rushing to the door to run to your lessons. You two were interesting.

Eventually, Doyoung apologised and gave you the money to purchase a better tv rack. You were expecting him to buy it for you, then again, he was Kim fucking Doyoung. He just ain’t like that. So here you were, at motherfucking Ikea. Every child’s nightmare, including yours. Your aim was to find the cheapest tv rack, yet still pretty good in quality. You were not the type to give a damn about the aesthetics and things; if it’s going to help you store your shit, that’s all you needed. Which is probably why you hated furniture shopping, you could never appreciate the so-called ‘beauty’ of it. Following the arrows printed on the grey floor, buying the tv rack was more complex than you thought. There was black, white, yellow, brown, wooden, grey— more colours than you could have ever imagined. You honestly just wanted the cheapest one at this point, forget quality. Everything else was giving you a headache. Without wanting to use more of your brain cells, perhaps for now, socialising will make it less painful, even if you really hated people as of this moment. Looking around for a person wearing the yellow and blue striped shirt with a name tag on, you eventually found the person you were looking for. Not too tall, but he wasn’t short either. Well, at least he won’t be intimidating.

‘Um, excuse me—‘

‘Ma’am the hotdogs and ice cream are available after you purchase your materials at the cashier.’

What. What the fuck?

‘What?’ The guy turned to look towards you, unamused with whatever you currently had to say. Your eyes slightly widened by his appearance, but you swear to your kneecaps if he remains to be like this, you’re going to bite.

‘You’re looking for the food right? Just pay for whatever stuff you have now and—‘

‘Why the hell would I want to buy food here, I just want to know the cheapest tv rack you have in this store’ you interrupted, not willing to hear any of his bullshit, despite him having a pretty face. Now it was his turn to be taken back by what you said. Goodness, how long has this imbecile been working here?

‘Oh um… yeah I don’t know. Maybe if you’ll look around you’ll know?’ Oh you’ve got to be kidding. Not wanting to waste more time on this pretty idiot, you looked at his name-tag to tell off to another Ikea employee. You were not having it today. See you later Yangyang.

—————————————————————————————————

Okay. Apparently people who work in this nightmare of a furniture store take their shit seriously. You just went to another person to complain about Yangyang, and here you are, at the manager’s office. Literally, what the fuck.

‘I would like to apologise on his behalf again, he’s new here. He does not know what exactly he is doing, but I can assure you the rest of the staff here are kind and willing to help. I sincerely apologise that you had to experience such unacceptable behaviour from our staff’ the manager said, bowing his head for the nth time. You honestly wanted to leave and just purchase the tv rack online; you wanted that Ikea guy to not be a dick— that’s why you complained. What you didn’t want is the poor guy to be fired from his job.

‘No, no, please don’t worry. I’m pretty sure he is a good natured person, probably just had a bad day—‘

‘No, that is utter nonsense! We will get this settled now. Please take a seat Ms. ________’ he said, moving his rather puffy face towards the black microphone, pressing the green button with his stubby fingers. Oh no.

‘Liu Yangyang please come to Mr. Park Yoobin’s office. Liu Yangyang please come to Mr. Park Yoobin’s office, now.’ What have I done.

—————————————————————————————————

You were annoyed that you put yourself into this mess. But the guy beside you, if looks could kill, you would have probably woken up in hell by now. You felt bad, you didn’t want this to happen at all. Like you said, you just complained about Yangyang being ‘not helpful’ when you asked him a question to another man that was slightly shorter than you. You expected no reaction at all, you just did it cause you were in a bad mood thanks to Doyoung and his boyfriend. That was of course, until the older man gasped loudly, shocked to hear the words that came out of your mouth. Today was a really bad day.

‘Mr. Liu, I know that this is your second week working here, but that gives no excuse to treat a lovely customer like Ms. ________ poorly. Even if you didn’t know where a certain furniture piece is, you could have made the effort to look for it with her.’ Mr. Park said, his eyebrows furrowing even more as he spoke. It was quite a funny sight from where you were sitting. Then again, this was not a funny situation, you hated every minute of it because not only is it wasting your time, but you could possibly be the reason why this Ikea guy will lose his job.

Yangyang felt pretty guilty for assuming in an instance that you were wanting to ask for food, when you actually had a pretty genuine question. He also felt useless for not helping you effectively, but he didn’t want this job at all. He wanted to work at the cafe near his university, instead of travelling for another 30 minutes just to be in the corner and see people search for furniture to build their so-called ‘dream home.’ Although he did not exactly have anything against an aesthetic appeal or such, he did judge people like that. And little did he know, so were you. Then again, he didn’t exactly care about that at this point. He wanted to stay away from you as soon as possible for putting him in such a position. He already felt bad for not helping you properly, and maybe he somewhat understood why he was sitting in the manager’s office, but literally, what the fuck.

‘Mr. Park, I honestly did not mean to show such disrespect to the customer. I do admit that I was being a know-it-all, thinking that she— what’s your name again?’ He asks me, actually talking to me for the first time since he walked into the room.

‘Um, ________—‘

‘Ms. ________ wanted to go to the food court. And as you said, I have only been here for 2 weeks. I am still unsure of where certain things are, and I perhaps should have helped Ms. ________, so yes, I do sincerely apologise.’ My, my, was he good at saying bullshit.

‘Mr. Liu I appreciate your honesty, and you should really be grateful for Ms. ________ for being so kind, wanting to make sure that nothing happens to you’ the man in front of you said, both his hands interlocking one another as he looks at his employee. And although you were looking at Mr. Park, you certainly did not miss the widening of Yangyang’s eyes. He must be thinking that I was a hypocritical psycho bitch. He isn’t wrong with that at all though.

‘Um, Mr. Park. If you really want to make it up for me, I just really need the tv rack. My roommate is paying for it, so considering that, it really urgent for me to go soon. I’m sure Yangyang was just having a bad day, so please, give the boy a second chance.’ You began packing your things, eventually standing up, not wanting to hear any more rebuttals from the Ikea manager. You had enough.

‘Ms. ________ hold on—‘ And you closed the door. Fucking rat, why couldn’t he leave me alone and deal with his employee privately?

—————————————————————————————————

You finally got the cheapest tv rack available from Ikea, completely contradicting yourself earlier when you said you would’ve rather shopped online. With the amount of cash Doyoung gave you, Ikea was probably a better choice.

‘Hey, you!’ What the fuck?

You turned around, and of course, it was the Ikea guy, but he wasn’t wearing his uniform. And he looked so much more attractive, no matter how much you didn’t want to admit it. With his dyed hair swept to the side and his oversized knit turtle neck, he looked so much… softer and calmer. Well that contrasted with his character. You crossed your arms, waiting for the man to come closer.

‘What was that about? Look, I know I didn’t help you and I do feel quite guilty about it, but was it really that necessary to—‘

‘Before you act like a dick again, I didn’t want it to happen either. I’m a petty ass person, and though it wasn’t mandatory to tell on you, which I’m sorry for by the way, you annoyed me despite how pretty you look. I’m pretty sure you still have your job, and I got my tv rack. So let’s just forget all of this happened, and move on with our petty lives— are you okay? Did I say something wrong’ Why is he looking at me like that?  He just smiled at me, tilting his head slightly, and it’s making you feel warm for some reason.

‘Well since you said that we both live petty lives, and called me pretty so thank you for that, let me take this—‘ he says, tearing the tv rack box open, grabbing one of the rack’s legs, which only made you stand in complete astonishment; what the mcfucking hell was he doing? ‘—and well, somehow find me babe!’ Yangyang shouts, walking away from you quicker and quicker.

‘GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, AND RETURN MY FUCKING LEG!’

‘By the way, I also think you look pretty!’ He’s worse than Kim Doyoung. He is actually so much worse than Kim Doyoung.

[archadianskies]

Whumptober Day 30

Wound Reveal + Ignoring an Injury→ part 1; part 2; part 3

Whumptober Masterlist | 30/31 of RK900 short stories ↳ on Ao3

Tags: Tags: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings × Team as Family × Good Parent Hank Anderson × Hiding Medical Issues × Stabbing × Gun Violence × Gunshot wounds × Hurt/Comfort 

It’s a full Anderson house. Well, it will be in about ten minutes or so. And ‘house’ isn’t quite right, given they aren’t indoors and even if they were it’s certainly not a house, but that’s how the saying goes so he’ll say it. 

It’s a joint task force between the DPD Android Crimes Division, so that’s Dad Anderson and Big Bro Anderson onsite, and SWAT Unit 32 so he’s onsite, Middle Bro Anderson, and now the mission is wrapping up, CSI will be onsite soon, so that’s Baby Bro Anderson. Four Andersons. They’re just missing Dog Anderson.

“Where the fuck are they, it’s so fuckin’ cold I want to go home and pass out on my bed.” Detective Reed grumbles. Ah yes. There've been killings involving both androids and humans, so DPD Homicide squad are here meaning Detective Gavin Reed is here and Caleb’s patience is wearing thinner by the second.

“Icy conditions are making it hard for CSI to navigate their vans safely.” He informs him because if he doesn’t the man will continue complaining and he may outright murder him. “High body count means they need to bring multiple vehicles.”

“And all their fancy tech, right?” Reed groans. “God we’ll be here all night.”

“No fancy tech.” Caleb shrugs. “Just one RK900.”

“You’re here already.” He gestures vaguely at him. “Why don’t you go put that mouth of yours to use and save us some time?”

Rayner looks about ready to leap at Reed on his behalf which is touching, and of course their Captain is within earshot, a crease marring that handsome brow. Not to worry. Humans have instincts, have automatic reactions to certain situations. Like being handed something out of the blue. 

“Sure. Here, hold this for a second?” Human vs 200lbs custom EMP resistant ballistics shield. Gavin meets ground. Rayner snortlaughs and their unwavering Captain, his captain o captain, wavers just a smidge, the corners of his mouth twitching up briefly.

“Oh, sorry Detective Reed.” Caleb reaches down to grab the shield, human still attached by way of instinctual pincer grasp, and returns both into an upright position. “Anyway though I too am an RK900, I do not have the proper qualifications to perform forensic investigations at crime scenes even if they are raids. Rest assured dear Frederick will get to work as soon as he arrives.”  

“You little shit!” The human shrieks, voice an octave higher in outrage and Caleb steps away from him in favour of crossing the distance and nudging Connor with his elbow playfully.

“Hey.”

“I see you’ve had enough of Detective Reed for tonight.” Connor quips sagely and Caleb shrugs. 

“Can’t believe you put up with him for so long.”

“Not by choice. Can’t exactly murder a fellow detective and keep my job at the same time.” Connor grins, and he laughs at the cheeky expression on his brother’s face. “It’s not so bad now we’re in different divisions. We overlap sometimes, but not all the time so the urge to murder is lesser now.” 

“What do you make of all this?” Changing the subject, he tips his head in the direction of the semi-finished apartment complex, the base of operations for an elaborate crime syndicate that saw both android and human lives cut down for the sake of seizing power in the black market organ trade. 

The raid had been a dangerous one, and though they didn’t suffer any casualties, a third of the team took severe hits and will need weeks of recovery time. The very nature of the building meant they couldn’t ambush them and having the separate floors meant the element of surprise was lost. 

“I think our baby brother has a lot of work ahead of him.” Connor smirks before shaking his head, sighing tiredly. “As do Hank and I. There’s a lot of criminals to question. Reed’s team will handle the human criminals and his interrogation tactic is-”

“Bad, barely competent cop with anger management issues?” 

“-sorely lacking in finesse, but we’ll go with that.” Connor looks him over, reaching out to thumb away a smudge of grime from his cheek. “At least you get to go home soon.”

“Soon-ish.” Caleb corrects, making a face. “Waiting for the last party to secure their floor before the Captain can declare the entire site is secure.” 

“Still, you’ll be out of here long before dad and I can leave. And poor Freddie will be here long after we leave.”

“Gotta have an Anderson onsite.” Caleb laughs, leaning in to bump his brow against his brother’s fondly. “Okay. I better get going. I’ll see you on Saturday at our place?”

“I’ll bring the drinks.” Connor vows, waving as his brother takes his leave.

* 

Watching Caleb return to his team, Connor idly watches their group dynamic and marvels at how his brother is the furthest thing from the cold, unfeeling killing machine CyberLife intended to release for the sole purpose of crushing the deviant revolution. 

They didn’t count on the revolution succeeding. They didn’t count on having their arm twisted by the Kamskis, nor the mounting pressure placed on them by the public after public opinion soared in favour of the deviants given Joss Douglas’ live coverage of the Jericho Four’s final stand. Which meant they offered the RK900 to the DPD as an olive branch, smiling through gritted teeth as Connor deviated him on the spot and it wasn’t a killing machine being activated, it was a young brother who would become Caleb Anderson not long after. 

It was a far harder road for their youngest brother, Caleb’s twin, Freddie. Over eight months, while Caleb had his family, had his team, had a growing relationship, Freddie had been treated as a piece of equipment by Special Agent Richard Perkins and his FBI SWAT team. He’s only now just coming into his own, finding his place in the Forensics team and settling into the Anderson family. 

The CSI vans begin to pull up to the scene and soon the last Anderson brother is onsite. Freddie gives him a small wave and Connor finds himself smiling as he waves in return.

“Hello Connor.”

“Hello Freddie.” He greets, smile growing warmer as the other RK900 offers a grin he most certainly learned from Caleb. “You’re going to be very busy tonight unfortunately.”

“That’s alright. It is my job and I like doing it.” His brother reassures, eyes roving over the SWAT team at the entrance of the building. Caleb spots them and waves enthusiastically, and Connor laughs as Freddie returns it with the same enthusiasm. “The site has been declared secure, so they’ll be heading back to the station.” He relays what must be the short conversation they just shared. “And that means it is time for me to start working.”

“And time for dad and I to start processing criminals.” He sighs heavily. “Well Freddie, I’ll see you back at home. Hopefully sooner rather than later.” He adds, looping an arm around his brother’s waist and pulling him in for a quick hug.

“Okay Connor.” Freddie mumbles into his shoulder. “Say hello to dad for me?”

“Of course.”

* 

It is a drastic change to go from the team storming the site to the team that arrives well after the action is over. He much prefers the latter to the former. He’s grown accustomed to the stillness, to the attention to detail this job requires rather than the chaos of raids, the incessant hail of bullets under Special Agent Perkins’ leadership. Or lack thereof. Caleb’s memories showed Captain Allen prefers a vastly, drastically different mode of leadership that sees him guiding a tight-knit team and playing to both individual and collective strengths. 

Special Agent Perkins barely remembered the names of his own Agents, let alone cared enough to give Freddie one. It’s something he’s had to learn from his brothers; what transpired at his time with the FBI was not normal, it was cruel. His cruelty still lingers like bruises on human skin that take much longer to fade than for the injury to heal. But Freddie is learning, and though he has a long way to go at least he has family now and he has the Anderson name and he has the name Frederick which he chose all by himself. 

The semi-finished apartment complex is the site of a massacre. Even before the raid, it seems the syndicate were trying to cut their losses and decided it was much easier to kill the workers, and thus prevent them from being questioned by the police. Even before the raid, even before the execution of the workers, the complex was already filled with bodies upon bodies; missing humans and missing androids, kidnapped and killed, then harvested for organs or biocomponents. Even if Freddie weren’t an RK900, he’d still be able to smell the dizzying scent of human blood, of android thirium, and of hospital grade disinfectants. 

There’s too many bodies to be housed at the lab morgue so many will have to be diverted to the hospital morgues until they can process them. There’s no mystery to be solved here; it’s very clear how these victims died. The task at hand is processing each and every one so they can be identified and released for their kin to claim. 

Freddie works at a steady pace, his superior commanding him to start at the top floor and work downwards. Most of the cleanup will need to be concentrated in the basement level where the workers were executed, but on the other hand the team will not need his input since the deaths are straightforward. The greatest task will be in trying to identify the parts and matching them to the bodies, ensuring the families will be able to claim their loved ones as whole as possible, and failing that, he will try his best to ensure there’s at least a name, a serial number, so they may be buried with or installed into memorial walls with dignity. 

He takes the elevator and several body bags, and begins the task of retrieving corpses. Police auxiliary units patrol the now quiet floors when not too long ago SWAT Unit 32 would’ve been sweeping through. Arrests have been made, but the ratio of arrests vs corpses is highly skewed. No matter. He has faith in his brothers, in his father, and yes perhaps even Detective Reed. 

The thing about android corpses versus human corpses is that it’s very easy to determine whether a human is dead or alive. For androids, there’s a certain nuance to determining whether an android is still active or deactivated. And the thing is, humans are still learning how to determine between those two. The android in question, splayed in a broken sprawl, riddled with bullets, is not actually deactivated. 

Freddie learns as such, when he is crouched beside the human corpse adjacent to it, because the android sputters to life and the knife in its hand plunges right into his leg. His RK900 programming kicks in and he whirls around, grabbing the android’s wrist and using his other hand to yank the knife from his thigh. Too late does he see the gun in its other hand and it fires at his chest, narrowly missing both his hearts. Tossing the knife aside, he grabs the gun before the android can fire again, twisting so he breaks both wrists before thrusting a hand forward to yank the android’s pump regulator out. They collapse like a cut puppet, jerking and seizing for a few moments before falling still and now Freddie knows they are truly dead.

Police units rush into the room and he reassures them all is well, the android is properly deactivated. He has the pump regulator of the android to prove it. Swatting away the damage notifications to his thigh and chest, he continues with the long, laborious task of finding, bagging and logging each corpse. The thirium loss is steady but not fatal, so he keeps his head down and continues working. 

He has completed missions in far worse conditions, and his brothers and father have both worked so very hard tonight that he feels he cannot let them down by allowing such pathetic injuries to hinder him. He is an RK900. In the FBI SWAT unit he was to keep going until he physically shut down, and he reasons that the same level of dedication is required of him here too. It is only fair, to give as much as they expect and he is far from shutting down over such trivial hindrances. 

It is nearing midnight by the time everything is loaded up and ready to head back to the lab, and he can sense the immense fatigue laying heavy like a blanket over his human colleagues. There is still so much work to do.

“No.” Lenore says firmly, and he tips his head slightly in confusion. “You’re going to say ‘I can get a head start on these while you all go home to rest’ and the answer is no, Freddie, you absolutely are not going to do that.”

“But I-” 

“No.” She repeats, firmer still. “We’re going to run the stuff that needs hours to process, you’re going to just put ID tags on the bodies and then everything goes into the freezers for tomorrow.”

There’s no room for argument, even if he does think he can accomplish much more but it would require him to stay there by himself and they never seem to want to allow him to do that. He is both grateful and confused. “...Understood.”

“Good.” 

* 

By the time Dr Olive declares everything is now at the mercy of the lab equipment and can wait until later, it is nearly two in the morning. Which is fine, since Freddie changed out of his damaged uniform upon arrival and applied dermal nano patches to cover the wounds to stem the bleeding. It could wait until he got home and had access to the first aid kit in the bathroom, since he was needed here at the lab to do actual work and not waste time tinkering on such small matters. 

He hangs up his lab coat, thumb brushing over the embroidered ‘Dr. F. Anderson’ and finding himself smiling, as he does each time, because that is his name and it’s all his and no one else’s.

The lights are out, as expected, their father having gone to bed long ago but Connor is waiting there on the couch. He smiles brightly, standing and crossing the distance to envelope him in a hug. 

“Didn’t think I’d see you until much later, actually.” Connor admits, and Freddie clings for a moment longer because it is a luxury he can afford.

“We processed what we could and are letting the machines run some tests until we come back later. The humans need their rest.”

“They do indeed.” His brother laughs. “Do you want to continue watching the space documentary we started?”

“Yes please.” Freddie nods. “Let me just change into pyjamas.”

He goes to the bathroom, pyjamas draped over one arm which he neatly hangs on the towel rack while he fetches the first aid kit. The nano patches have kept the bleeding at bay though he now has some mild internal bleeding since the blood had nowhere else to go. Negligible. He props his foot up on the bathtub so he can properly assess his thigh, peeling away the patch and beginning to gently ease the damaged wires together again at their rightful place. He’s just about done when Connor appears in the doorway.

“Freddie?”

“Oh, pardon me, I didn’t realise I was taking so long. I will not be much longer, though you can start without me and I can catch up.” He smiles reassuringly, but Connor only looks at him in distress.

“You’re hurt, how did this happen?” Connor comes to his side, peering at the wound before his eyes widen as he spots the larger one on his chest. “You were shot?”

“One of the androids was not actually deceased and managed to injure me before I deactivated him properly.” He holds out his hand to share the memory, and Connor’s distress only increases.

“Freddie why didn’t you tell anyone?” There’s something desperate in his tone, and he really doesn’t like it. It makes him feel like he’s done something wrong.

“I-I was, and still am fully functioning. It was not impor-”

“Of course it was! Of course it is! Anytime you’re hurt, it’s important!” Connor’s LED spins red and Freddie steps back, feeling his own stress levels rise. He’s done something wrong, he has, and it’s made Connor upset. “Freddie- Freddie, no, don’t- I’m not- I’m not angry with you, I’m just- you’re important, you know this, right? You’re important to me. To Caleb. To dad. To your whole forensics team who care so very much about you. When you’re hurt, that’s bad. That’s- that’s not something you brush aside until you’re alone. You don’t have to do this alone.” 

His brother is upset and he thinks he understands now, and it’s because he loves him in a way no one at the FBI loved him, and when he’s hurt it upsets Connor because Connor doesn’t want him to be hurt. It’s a revelation to him, and it must show on his face because Connor draws him close and hugs him again, mindful of the chest wound as he presses closely. 

“Okay, Connor.” He murmurs into his brother’s shoulder, nuzzling the soft fabric. “I’ll ask for help next time it happens.” 

Connor inspects his chest wound, LED still red as he shakes his head. “We can’t repair this one, not even together. It would require-”

“I’ve repaired gunshot wounds by myself before.” Freddie blinks, tipping his head slightly. “I was only repaired by the technician if I lost consciousness from multiple injuries.”

He’s done it again. He’s said something wrong, only now he recognises it’s not wrong so much as distressing because it’s something bad, and he has lived his life believing bad things were normal things and is now trying to unlearn such beliefs. 

“I can do it,” Freddie says slowly, “but I would appreciate it very much if you could help me, please? I can instruct you how. It will be easier with someone helping me.”

* 

It is easier, and faster too, to have someone helping with the repair process. Everything has been set back in its right place, and his self-repair program will kick in and mend the rest. He drinks two full bottles of thirium to replace his bloodloss and by then it doesn’t seem like Connor is interested in watching the documentary at all. 

He is staring anxiously at the door, and Freddie doesn’t know why because it is nearing three in the morning now and no one else should be coming. But someone does come, in fact, because the door is unlocked by the only other person who should have a key and there’s Caleb with a worried look on his face, and Freddie realises Connor must have been talking to him the whole time, keeping him updated with what was happening.

“They said the top floor was clear.” Caleb looks pained. “They said it was clear. That’s why David said the site was secure.”

“Your colleagues who cleared the floor are human.” Freddie points out, as Caleb rushes to him and gathers him up into a tight hug. “They did not realise one of the androids was still active.”

“That’s on us, Freddie.”

“It’s not.” He says, trying to be as stern as possible. “And it’s fine. I handled it.”

“You didn’t, you just kept going until you got home and tried to fix everything yourself!” Caleb is scolding him, but he’s doing it in his Caleb way where his voice is mad but his eyes are worried. Freddie feels a tightness in his chest that has nothing to do with his injury.

“I’m trying to learn that when things hurt, I need to ask for help.” He confesses quietly. “I wasn’t allowed to ask for help back then. I either fixed it myself, or I had to be incapacitated, before I was given help.”

“I’ll kill him.” Caleb vows, slight static in his voice as he holds him close. “I’ll do it slowly, so he suffers.”

“Just…” Freddie presses his lips into a tight line, trying to find the right words. “Just help me learn how to undo all he did, please?”

“Of course.” His twin presses a kiss to his temple and finally he feels his stress levels begin to drop. “Of course we will, Freddie.”

*~* 

Hank’s not sure if Freddie even came home last night, what with the huge mess forensics were left with after they went back to the station to start processing all the arrests. He expects to see Connor pottering around, making tearium for himself and a coffee for him. Kitchen is empty at this hour. Huh. Curiously padding into the living room he finds that empty too, and so he wanders back down the hallway and to Connor’s room. The door is slightly ajar, most likely left open for Sumo. He finds not one, not two, but three androids still fast asleep, with the Saint Bernard sprawled at the end of the bed.

Leaning against the doorway, Hank just watches them for a few moments, heart squeezing at the sight of Freddie in the middle bracketed by his brothers who each have an arm tucked around him protectively. 

Fishing out his phone from his pocket, he snaps a quick photo and quietly retreats back to the kitchen. No harm in letting them sleep in a little longer, they all could use the extra rest.

[mauserfrau]

Mau's Very Silly Headcanon Post

Since I have two pieces of fiction going live this weekend and they’re both going to be late due to butting into each other XD.

I did another one here and there’s going to be some overlap, but less bodily function stuff in this one (mostly spit) (also some vague references to medical trauma).

A lot of this is small potatoes because I didn’t want to spoil anything.  How Phaseleech actually works ends up being a plot point in what I have pending, so I actually can’t just come out and say what’s going on.  That said, I’m sure there are people here who want to know what’s on my mind, but who don’t want to sit through 50K words with half a dozen squick warnings.

That said: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mauser_Frau

Questions welcome, about this, anything else I think about Borderlands, what exactly is in Chapter 13 of Satellite, if it’s true the one flashback actually happened to Mom... 

Both

-Look, the only thing I did that’s appreciably off-canon is let them have emotions.  Maybe I drove into left field with what those emotions were, but that’s really all anybody’s got to do to fix this situation.  Go with the deity of your choice.  

-If I was headed for a Gearbox ending, it would be for the scrapped one, not the one we got.  See this and this other thing.

>>>I would still have written the twins as having something resembling a meaningful relationship regardless of whether that turned out romantic or not.  As things went and are, them as a couple was something I knew how to write and my mom shipped them (no, I’m not kidding).  

-I’m not going for a canon ending.  Mercy, did I find a thread I could snap and take the whole sweater out.  

-Both had blue siren markings when they were born; Troy’s turned red after they were separated.

--Which was a complicated mess-- they were upside-down verses each other and had several secondary adhesions, the most notable of which was Tyreen’s face to Troy’s thigh.

---Leda never 100% recovered from the emotional or physical trauma, but she put on a brave face for the last sevenish years of her life.  

---Troy’s tissue loss was severe and left him with a notable pit in his upper right side.

---Tyreen also has heavy scarring running from her right armpit to her right hip.  It’s not as complex, but it is very visible.  Missing a fair amount of intestine compared to the average human, but this has apparently never bothered her beyond the fact that visiting the toilet when you don’t eat is not fun.

-Semi-identical twins. Have 82.5% of their genes in common.  LSS, neither one is a parasite.  They’re two sperm plus one egg and they didn’t divide right.

--Ms. Phaseleech* didn’t know any better.  #oops  

--If you get them relaxed enough, they will indeed curl up together in their “fish” position.

-Tyreen is the one who would wail first if separated from her brother when they were very small, but they don’t like being apart even as adults.  

-Both very well-read, used to recite The Odyssey to congregants instead of scripture (‘cause they didn’t have any scripture). 

-Good to excellent hunters. Depends what they’re hunting and if they’re together.  Prefer to go barefoot if there’s no one else around.

-The circumstances surrounding Leda’s death are appreciably worse than fanon baseline to the point I don’t think I ought to leave them lying around in a Tumblr post.  

-Both have wavy hair if they don’t iron the daylights out of it.

-Prefer to be on the road and around people, even if a fair amount of those people are going to end up dinner.

-Get weirdly soft-hearted around kids, especially little boys with a similar complexion to their own.

-Do they have any concept that they’re horrible people? Yes, but it’s very academic and not something that motivates them.  You’d be way more likely to hear them frame themselves as hedonists, which also explains their worldview to a certain extent.  

~*~

Troy

-Skinnier than most other Troys.  You could put him in a room with every fandom Troy and sort them by muscle mass, you’d find him at the bottom end, partying like this was an accomplishment.  

-Has an X-linked connective tissue disorder which is more extensive than he lets on.  He really should not do about 90% of the stunts he does because of the vascular involvement.

-Made a categorical decision to treat the associated pain with a lot of cannabis and massage.  Has a distinct resin and honey body butter smell because of this.

--Also, if you get him off-hours, there’s going to be a fair amount of “but why are we here, man?” discussion.

-Has a kink in his upper back.  His spine tilts to his right.  Not super noticeable, but if you were on massage duty, you’d realize something felt out of place.  

-Used to get catastrophic nosebleeds, though these have lessened in frequency and severity over the years.  

-After a certain point, has a permanent latching socket port installed on his right side, allowing him to switch arms out as he likes.

--Because he has a selection of eccentric ones.  What? It’s a challenge to learn to use non-human aspects like claws or feathers or forty joints in a tentacle.  

--Still flounces around without one if nobody of consequence is watching and generally won’t sleep with one in.

-The insides of his ear gauges are messy and don’t even get him started on changing the jewelry on any, erm, other piercings he might have.  (Nipples and one off-center PA.  That was QUITE enough after what it took for his tattoos to cooperate.) 

-Will frame any illness or off-day as a migraine, which he does get.

-Had really bad teeth before his mouth mods.  After that, has none of his natural teeth remaining.  Primarily uses his exceptional bite radius to annoy others, show off, eat sandwiches in a disturbing fashion and do unspeakable things in bed.  They’re for show.  They’re not functional in any serious way.  

-Doesn’t have great control of said mouth mods in the heat of passion or if you get him laughing hard enough.  Hope you like spit!

-Still has rather heinous-looking feet, but he’s concerned about losing his calluses if he has them fixed.  You’d be more likely to see him open on an operating table than barefoot in public.  

-Always wants to be the little spoon.  You’re a tink? You’re a third his size? So what.  He wants to be the little spoon.  Just give in.

-Genuinely likes tea, especially flower-based tea.  Favorite foods include grits, polenta, tamales, campfire beefy rice, beef and broccoli layered onto somebody else’s leftover noodles, beef curry, beef sandwiches soaked in jus, steak tips on day-old fries and look just give him a sloppy plate of starch and dead cow if you need him to shut up.  

-Drinks vodka so cold and over-filtered it tastes like water, then follows it up with extra greasy, burnt-to-hell texas toast while talking about his mother.

-Lactose intolerant.  Please do not feed the rat child pizza. Or chipped beef on toast.  No, not even if he begs.  

~*~

Tyreen

-Abnormally acute senses, especially hearing/smell and including a form of intuition which targets where things she can leech exist nearby.  She’s only aware of any of this in the context of it being different from how Troy’s senses work.  She knows where to get food.  Don’t most people?

-Doesn’t perceive herself as 100% human.  The Leech is part of her and she likes herself.  Mama said she was perfect.  The details are whatever.  You got a problem here? Well, that’s easy to fix… 

-Would have been sorted as a tomboy growing up, but had no companions to do so.  As is, prefers the company of masculine individuals, loves showing people up in a boyish fashion and is absolutely going to tune you out if you start talking to her about the topic.  

-Reeks.  You might smell something “off” with her around in a meeting room, but get her sweaty or worked up and forget it.  It’s not even a human smell.  Petrichor and spray paint, menstrual blood and chlorine, dead leaves and solvent.  It’s chemical, it’s uncannily biological.  It’s really not OK.  She can’t smell it and Troy’s used to it.  

-Doesn’t shave.  Has fluffy armpits that don’t match her dye job and a rather spectacular bush that extends onto her upper thighs.  Does pluck here brows and the witch hairs on her chin, but otherwise, you know what, nah.

-Heavily tattooed, but this is limited to her torso.  The viewing of said tattoos, as well as her scars, is a ritual in her particular CoV.  

--Not that she cares about being naked.  A body is a body.  You people are so uptight.  

-Will reflexively guard her lower stomach before anything else and sometimes in error.  Do not call her on this.  You will piss her off.  

-Has an eye-shaped siren marking, but it’s on her left shoulder blade and she tends to forget it’s there.  More aware of the “pointer mark” underneath her navel.

-Poor tolerance for any drugs.

-Can only ingest salt, sucrose and 80 proof or better clear alcohol without retching.

--Which is to say she doesn’t eat “people food”.  

--Fatty or high-fiber foods tend to make her ill faster.  She could possibly keep tofu or chicken breast down for an hour or more, but it’s still not going to end well.  

--Can and does eat cinder toffee because it’s one of the few things she can chew and digest.  Konpeito is nice too, but sometimes the dye upsets her stomach.  

--Milk, maybe.  Human works better.

-Enjoys swimming or long baths.

-Ambidextrous.  Was either born that way or picked up doing certain things left-handed because that’s what her brother had to work with and she had to show him how to do stuff somehow.

-Good with a forearm-mounted crossbow.  Either hand is fine.

-Used to drool precipitously when she leeched something “good”.  Mostly has a handle on this by the time the CoV gets to be a thing.  Mostly.  

-Deeply immature love language which might include her actually asking to play with her prospective partner and a good bit of bullying.

-SHE IS NOT SHY ABOUT HER NEEDS AND KINKS.  THE HELL WITH YOU.  YOU’RE MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING.  HOW DARE YOU.  DO YOU WANT TO BE SKAG BAIT ON THE NEXT LIVESCREAM.  UGH. #nottsundereatall

~*~

* The Leech IDed herself as, erm, herself in some stuff I’m not sure I’ll ever post but ANYWAY.

[dpimagines]

Softer; Wade Wilson feat. Vanessa Carlysle

warnings & details: reader is photokinetic! This means they can manipulate light waves. My version of photokinesis includes being able to absorb light, sometimes unintentionally. Wade and reader both devalue themselves to sex objects at certain points due to low self-confidence. F/S = Favorite Show.  

Wade bursts the door open with excitement, but before shouting “Honeys, I’m home!” he realizes the TV is on. You didn’t stir at the loud door, but he recognizes your favorite show on the TV.

It was something that you and Vanessa watched together, she’d gotten you a box set of the complete series, for your birthday last year. He wonders if that’s what made it your favorite. Either way, you were curled up on the couch, snuggled in a blanket. He was about to get closer to you, to kiss your forehead and tell you he was finally home.

“You know, she stayed up waiting for you. Again.” Vanessa comes out on the bedroom in a robe, looking over you, sadly.

“She should be used to me being late.”

“But she shouldn’t be so goddamn used to you breaking promises,” Vanessa disagrees.

“Promises?”

“It’s her birthday.” She looks at the clock. “Or it was, about three hours ago. Cake’s on the table if you want some, asshole.”

Wade shakes his head, the rare feeling of being ashamed washing over him.

“She begged me to wait, but once it became obvious you weren’t gonna make it… She said we’d eat the cake, but she’d wait to open her present from me, in case you got her anything. Did you?” She nearly snarls the words.

“Yeah, totally, I got her… A gun!” He lifts one from one of his holsters excitedly.

Vanessa presses a finger to her lips, before telling him:

“Y/N’s a dagger person, remember?”

“I take you two for granted,” he sighs.

“Especially her,” she adds bitterly. Vanessa had been the one to introduce you to the relationship, and while Wade definitely loves you just as much, it feels like she’s the only one who shows it, at least to you.

He smooths your hair back, away from your perfect face. Wade looks like he does, and he has the audacity to not only not show up to your mini birthday celebration as he promised, but to forget it as well! You hadn’t even wanted a party. He’d offered, like he was actually gonna make it, but you said you just wanted to spend your special day with the people who mattered.

Maybe this was his subconscious telling him he didn’t.

“What a piece of shit I am…” He mumbles. “I’ll go get her something. Something nice, that she’ll like.”

You begin to stir, sleepy little moans coming from your lips as you try to wake up. You rub at an itchy eye, and that’s when you notice the tall red figure at the end of the couch, the one you’d been waiting for since forever.

“Wade!” You cheer, immediately scrambling to get up and hug him. You wrap your arms tightly around him, so excited. “I’m so glad you’re back, V told me you weren’t gonna make it, but you did, you did, you… Didn’t.” He watches your heart break as you look at the clock, next to the door. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. The cake doesn’t disappear. Neither do- does the present.”

Vanessa usually enjoyed telling people “I told you so.”

She silently hands you the small box, heart in her throat, and you unwrap it, opening the velvet box that was hidden in the paper.

“It’s the brooch from the other day! Oh, Ness, I can’t believe you! How did you even- I don’t wanna know. Thank you! Right now, I just wanna cuddle with my two favorite people in the world.”

That breaks him. No matter how he screws up, you never make him face any real consequences. The relationship doesn’t even need him, not in his head. There’s already a strap-on available to you both, and all he’s good for is that. He’s just a detriment.

“Why don’t you hate me?” He asks.

“Huh? Why would I hate you?” You wonder. Sure, he’s late, but it wasn’t for nothing. He has other, more important responsibilities. It doesn’t matter how you feel, not to you. Besides, you’re just the addition. They’re the real couple.

“I promised I’d be here, Y/N. And I let you down. I always let you down.”

“You were just busy,” you reassure. “Your job is way more important than m-“

“Don’t. Don’t you dare fucking say that,” Vanessa cuts you off, her heart breaking for you. There was no malice in your tone, you’ve just learned the lesson Wade’s taught you and it kills the both of them that they didn’t stop it.

“It’s true?” You say, but it comes out more like a question. “Having your priorities in order isn’t a bad thing.”

“But they weren’t in order, Y/N. I love you, and it’s- It was your birthday. I missed it, I didn’t see you the entire day. I completely forgot. Doesn’t that feel like shit?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you admit, and, finally, a bit of sadness shows in your expression. “It does. But that doesn’t matter, you had more important things to do and that’s okay.” The sadness dissipates from your face, but Wade and Vanessa both know it lingers inside of you.

“But it isn’t!”  Vanessa insists.

“Baby…” Wade croons. “You gotta believe me when I say I’m sorry. But, being sorry doesn’t mean the way I’ve treated you is okay. Okay?”

“Okay,” you reply.

“I’m gonna try to work on it, but can you please call me out on my bullshit more?”

“I guess…” you say. “I just wanna go to bed, why can’t we go to bed? We can make a ‘Nessa sandwich!”

“What about a Y/N sandwich? It’s- It was your birthday, after all,” Wade offers. You shake your head, rapid and insistent. They both sigh sadly, but you just wanna cuddle Vanessa and go back to sleep.

The three of you make your way to the bedroom, performing your nighttime routines before cozying up in bed. Vanessa lays down between you two, opening her arms to you. You’d typically latch onto her for comfort, but this time you just shake your head and turn over.

You don’t see the hurt expression on her face, or how she silently denies Wade the right to touch her.

Once you’re confident they’re both asleep, hearing Wade’s steady breathing and Vanessa’s soft snores, you enact your plan. You can’t stay here anymore. You care for them both so much, but you see now that you’re just a strain on the relationship, a guest star whose role had become too big because of poor writing.

You’re already partially packed, you’ve been subtly putting your clean clothes from the laundry into your suitcase. You lived at Xavier’s before this, it was how you met Wade and Vanessa. You still work there now, you’d started teaching the kids music after you finished your bachelor’s degree. Your birthday was the last chance you’d given yourself to get him to care. You know Vanessa does, but now you know for sure that all he sees you as is someone who can give Vanessa something he can’t, just another woman to touch with the lights off.

There’s no way he’s really sorry, is there? He always does this, no matter how it affects you. You know you don’t deserve better, but you’d rather just be alone than deal with this or worse.

You quietly sob as you stuff your things into various bags, an Uber already ordered. You leave the box set of F/S, but not a note. You leave the apartment complex, and don’t look back.

When you arrive at the school, you know it’s late, but don’t care. You enter. Logan’s standing watch. You’ve always liked him, even if he doesn’t seem to like anyone but his adorable daughter, much less you.

“My old room still available?” you ask, biting your lip to hold back the tears you had to hold in once you got in the Uber.

“Yeah, kid,” he says. “Go on.”

“Thanks,” you tell him, trudging up the stairs with all your bags hanging from you. You know you look like shit, and you don’t even care anymore. You’re almost relieved to be alone. That, or you’re just relieved that you don’t have to address your own issues anymore because they don’t affect anyone else but you.

You drop your various bags on the floor, flopping into your old bed and rolling yourself into a poorly-constructed burrito before crashing.

The next morning, you wake up on time. You open your eyes, expecting to be safe in Vanessa’s arms before remembering yesterday.

Worst.

Birthday.

Ever.

You untangle yourself from the comforter and top sheet, getting dressed and ready for breakfast, grabbing something small before heading to your classroom to get set up for the day. You know that Wade and Vanessa probably aren’t even awake yet. They don’t even know you’re gone. That ties your stomach in a knot, wondering how they’ll react. Will they not even care, or worse, will they try to contact you in some way? You just want a clean break.

Your first two periods are elementary schoolers, then you’d have two periods of middle schoolers, with a lunch break in the middle, and the last two periods would be the highschoolers. You had it pretty easy.

The kids giggle amongst each other this morning, as they grab their clickers on the way to their spots on the rug. You arch an eyebrow at all of them.

“Okay, kids, you know how it goes. Vote for your favorite color based on the choices, and the votes’ll go to my laptop. First place and second place will be used to show high and low notes, respectively.”

“What’s respectively mean, again?” Leah asks.

“Well, in what I was saying it means that first place will be high notes, and second place will be low notes.”

The girl nods in acknowledgement, and you notice that all the votes are in.

“You all voted for… Red,” you realize, looking at the computer screen. Your heart hurts a little bit at the thought of the color, but you know they’re just playing a practical joke, and it is pretty amusing. “I see. Well, whatever shall I do?” You play along, before taking some light produced by the ceiling light and creating a gradient from medium to dark red.

“Wow…” the kids ooh and ah at the sparkling thing, as they typically do.

“Alrighty, let’s do solfège  as a warm-up. Do, re, mi, fa, so…” you continue the scale, heading to the piano while your students sing along. “Now, we need to practice. The school concert is soon, and all the choirs are going to perform. That means I get to steal you guys from your second period teacher a few days next week so you can practice as a group with the other kids from your level. But that also means we need to practice hard! Stand in your positions, please, everyone,” you request, like you’re commandeering twenty kids as opposed to ten, because that’s what you’re practicing for.

You move the light so that it’s above the piano, and begin to play. You play the background music as well as the notes the kids are supposed to sing, letting the light gradient glow brighter at the high and low ends to remind them where their voices should be.

“I'll stand by you / Take me in, into your darkest hour / And I'll never desert you / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you…” the kids finish the song, and you stand from the piano bench, applauding.

“That was amazing, you guys! I’m so proud!” You find yourself wiping away a couple tears, impressed with how far they’ve come.

“Don’t cry, Miss L/N!” Adam says, running over and slamming you with a hug. He’s a small, sensitive boy, but with super strength. “I’m sorry we made you sad.”

“I’m not sad, I promise,” you technically lie. “Sometimes, when someone is really happy, they’re so happy that it overwhelms them and they cry. You kids make me that happy with how hard you work. I’m really proud of every single one of you.” Adam goes back to his position, and you begin the next song: True Colors by Cyndi Lauper.

After a few rounds of both songs, a bathroom break, and some constructive criticism (as well as praise,) the kids head on to their next class.

“Lather, rinse, repeat,” you tell yourself, and you do.

Until your lunch break.

The kids leave for lunch, but you find that you just can’t.

You think about yesterday, how everything’s over. You probably should’ve said something before going, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. You look to the velvet box holding the brooch on your desk and think that maybe you should call Vanessa now, but the lump from last night returns to your throat and your eyes water up. You realize you’re going to be alone forever, and the waterworks start up again, choking sobs overtaking you. You hide your face in your hands, elbows supporting you on your desk.

There’s a pounding on the door.

“Go on to lunch, third period isn’t for another half hour!” you weakly tell the student or teacher that’s trying to bother you on your break, before dissolving into tears again.

The door opens, and you scramble for a tissue, dabbing at tears and hoping you don’t look like you’ve been sobbing your heart out.

“Oh, love, you look like you’ve been sobbing your heart out,” Vanessa sympathetically says as she enters behind Wade, hurrying towards you.

Wade beats her to you, though, practically yanking you out of your chair and into his arms.

“Oh, thank god, you’re okay. I thought someone took you,” Wade sighs.

“Why would they take me?”

“To get to me or V,” Wade says, like it’s the most obvious thing. “But if no one took you, why were you gone? Why are you crying?”

“I told you, she left. Her stuff is all gone,” Vanessa reminds him. “Tell him, Y/N. And make it clear why.”

“I just don’t belong. I wanted a clean break, because I got too attached to you both, had my expectations too high, considering what I am,” you tell him, avoiding the whites of the mask. Since you couldn’t see him blinking, or any indication of emotion in his eyes, it just felt like an unwavering burn of a gaze. You shrink back, leaning against your desk.

“W-What do you mean, what you are?” Wade stutters.

“I’m just someone who can give Vanessa something you can’t. Just another woman to touch in the dark. I know that’s all it is for you, and that’s okay, because I was the one who built it up to be something it wasn’t in my head. You won’t even let me see your face, and she can. I don’t know why I thought there wasn’t a difference between us.”

“But you didn’t make it up, it evolved from the fling into that. You’re right, originally it was just meant to be a fling, but- But I thought we all loved each other. You- You love me, too, don’t you?”

“Of course I love you, but that doesn’t mean- What?”

“Why do you think yesterday was so upsetting, Y/N?” Vanessa asks you, and you look to her. That’s much easier. She has the softest brown eyes you’ve ever seen and the sweetest smile no matter what emotion it’s conveying. “Tell her, Wade.”

“V and I got a divorce,” he says.

“W-what? I didn’t think they could finalize them that quickly, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble, you two should really go, this is exactly why I wanted a clean break, I-”

“No, babe, not today, and it’s not because of you. Well, not like that,” he reassures, cupping your face in one of his gloved hands. “You see, we decided we didn’t want to be married anymore if we couldn’t be married to the one we both love. So, we got a no-fault divorce, it was finalized about a week ago. We just couldn’t find the right time to tell you.”

“Y-you… You don’t mean…”

“We do,” Vanessa confirms, putting a hand over yours where they rest of the desk. Wade removes his hand from your face, putting it on top of hers.

“But I’m just…”

“Just what? Just as important as us?” Wade tells you, and V nods.

“Quite the opposite,” you reply, looking down at your shoes. Wade tilts your chin up with his free hand, seeming to be searching your face for something. “What?”

“I just- You’re so beautiful compared to me, and I still managed to take you so far for granted that you ran away from home. I’ll do anything if it means you’ll come home to us. Anything,” Wade insists.

It’s so tempting to ask him, but you know it’s wrong to pressure him that way. He seems to get it, though, from your poorly-hidden longing stare. He peels the mask off, and you can’t help but literally glow when you see him. He smiles at your reaction, and the next thing you can’t help is the big kiss you give him, arms flinging themselves around his neck while he hoists you onto the desk. When you break for air, he looks down at you, and you’re happy to look back into his eyes.

“Whoa there, Ms. L/N, we’re at school,” Wade jokes.

“No, I’m not going to spank you with a yardstick,” you joke back, and he and Vanessa both laugh. “I have more classes in a little while, but I promise I’ll come back home after school.”

“Good,.” Wade pulls his mask back on. “See you later, I love you!” he sing-songs, skipping out of the class and down the hall.

Vanessa gives you a long, sweet kiss, admiring your eyes with her own afterwards, and you realize that despite loving both sets, that Wade’s eyes are even softer.

[comingfromabby12]

October 13th, 2020

Things to be thankful for. (Please ignore how loud New Girl is in the background).

1. Every night and every morning I get to wake up to this boy and he just wants one simple thing: he wants me to hold his head in my lap, rub his belly, gently give him facial pats, and let him sleep. I am blessed to have this dog and I know the universe put him in my path for a reason. He’s difficult, not very sociable, but a reminder every day of my own fears and how we might have needed each other to face them.

2. I live in a lovely apartment with an entire room for makeup, a full fize bathroom, a cute hallway, and a full size living room with a kitchen of some sort, and a bedroom with French doors, and the ceiling fan of my dreams (I weirdly love them so much) just a block from the lake in Chicago and two blocks from the best friend I’ve had since I was six months old. The residents are usually friendly, I think soon I’m bound to make friends that live in the courtyard complex.

3. My mom and my friends are always there for me and are patient, understanding, willing to have a dialogue. I feel like the people I have in my life have not only seen me run a gamut of obstacles, but have run alongside with me. It may not be with everyone I assumed it would be, but that’s more than alright. I am so blessed to have friends who challenge me, make me laugh, and remind me that sometimes water is thicker than blood and that’s okay.

3. I am so proud of my ancestry and the women I come from on my moms side. I wish I knew more about the women on my dads but regardless, I know I come from a long line of total bad asses. It’s hard to not be able to speak to them now when I understand their importance and need their guidance, but they’re always there in my mind and heart and in many ways I feel them with me in many of the recent changes in my life.

4. I have been a mess up and have done and made poor choices - I’ve been selfish and manipulative and this doesn’t mean that I can’t still be those things. What I’m trying to say is, I’m thankful that I’m finally becoming healthier and am working myself out of a hole instead of being upset about being in it. Things that weren’t important to me before are important now and I’m really thankful that something woke me up and made me realize that I needed to do the next right thing so I can be happy even if it’s not what makes everyone else happy. I’m not perfect, I am still sometimes mean and blunt, manipulative, annoying, irrational, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t grown or changed. I am thankful that I know that others opinions of me do not have to be my reality even if I don’t always believe it. I’ve accomplished so much and I am really thankful I can even say that.

5. I’m grateful for mental health care - my therapist Jodi is quite amazing and I am really lucky to have someone who is able to call me on any bullshit and yet find inventive solutions to problems both emotional and physical. I’ve actually been maintaining steady mental health care, taking medication, and working actively against depression, ptsd, and anxiety. I’m thankful that I’m not afraid to be vocal on the subject and that I no longer feel MUCH shame around the issue, even if there is some. I think shame is a complex and multifaceted concept and I’m not sure when, if ever, I’ll be able to conquer it. I’m grateful that so many people are willing to understand or even try to understand these diseases. I’m lucky and thankful for the progress in this fight.

I think when we’re in a sad kind of day and literally nothing is helping, it’s important to try and take action to control what you can control. So often I feel the pull to just not do anything - have a party full of pity and only invite myself. But I’m trying not to do that anymore. So here’s what I’m thankful for today and tonight and I’m trying to remember that there’s a lot I’ve been blessed with and at least I can hold onto that.

[vuelie-frost]

F2: How do we cope?

So I’m someone who has a moderate dose of anxiety in her life, which is being combatted through therapy, medication, & learning healthy coping mechanisms. I’m no expert, but I have some experience dealing with strong negative emotions. One strategy I’ve been recommended is asking yourself, in any given anxiety-riddled situation, “What’s the worst-case scenario that could happen?” This brings you out of your own head- out of hypotheticals- and into the concrete.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be painful to think about. But it can be helpful to see where our biggest fears lie. And if you’re interested in alleviating those strong negative emotions, it’s a necessary step.

I’ve said before that I’m trying to stay open-minded and optimistic about this movie. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have fears and concerns. For me personally, my biggest "worst that can happen” theories for the ending of Frozen 2 are:

- The sisters never see each other again (with a heart-shattering goodbye scene that makes us all inconsolable) - Elsa loses her humanity to become a spirit/goddess, essentially intangible and immortal - Elsa is no longer called “Queen Elsa” in the franchise, invalidating a huge historic part of her identity - Elsa doesn’t attend Anna’s coronation because she’s “too busy” doing other shit - Disney+ makes a spin-off TV series with Elsa going on adventures (just please... no.)

(please don’t chime in with what you guys think about those ideas, at least in this post, whether they’re right or wrong... that’s not the point.)

So what if any, if all, of these things happen? What next?

Stuff not to do (I mean, do whatever you want, but these probably won’t be very helpful)

- oversleeping as a defense mechanism - eating your feelings - drinking/using substances to numb pain - stew and ruminate on the internet with people who only get your sadness and anger riled up - spend all day on the internet - engage in maladaptive compulsive behaviors (oh, hello dermatillomania. great to see you again.) - completely avoid feeling your feelings - making impulse decisions (don’t go buy a car just because “Frozen 2 sucks, the world is meaningless.”) - rant to Jen/Chris/the creative team at Disney on Twitter (which is different from an honest review of the movie, which I’m sure they’d be more receptive to)

Stuff to do

1) Grieve the movie we longed for. 

This might sound dramatic and my inner critic is constantly chiding me with “It’s literally a movie for kids, why are you so bonded to it?” But that’s totally unhelpful here. It doesn’t matter why or how, but most of us in the fandom feel a deep connection to the first movie. It’s not exaggeration to say that IF the sequel crushes us, it could be emotionally devastating. Grief is complex, individualized, and weird to work through... but it’s real, and if it’s something we need to face in order to move forward,  2) Decide how tightly to hold onto the franchise. 

Something being canon doesn’t mean we have an obligation to internalize it. How many franchises before have whittled their stories down to C-rated TV shows and average spinoffs? Do we accept all of them wholeheartedly?

Granted, this is hard to write about because there’s a slight cognitive dissonance that has to happen for us to disbelieve the sequel of any story.  But regardless, determining your relationship to the narrative is a deeply personal choice- one that can’t be decided for you. If my worst-case scenarios happen for F2, I’m probably going to maintain my complete love for the first movie... and pretend the sequel is an AU. Or extrapolation. Accept that it exists as the canon progression, but reject its meaning in my life.

3) Get off the internet. 

This is probably the best possible thing to do when the online world is causing you strife and stress. Tumblr has a tendency to be an echo-chamber; I actually only recently rejoined after a long loooong hiatus for that reason. Despite what boomers want you to think, the internet’s not inherently toxic. But despite all its good, it’s also highly curated, completely biased, full of half-truths, and a fantastic vehicle for rumors.

Also realize that until November 22, anything and everything Frozen 2-related that’s released by Disney is going to make you psychoanalyze the content for clues on how to feel. We’ll all become obsessed, deranged Sherlocks in our own right. Don't let it consume you.

4) Creatively output your thoughts & feelings

Headcanons, AUs, derivative work, fan fiction, fan art all serve us well (and are way healthier than like, downing an entire chocolate cake in sadness.) I’m an artist and you bet your biscuits I’ll be sketching Elsa for weeks and WEEKS before & after the premiere. It’s just how I process things.

Another thing I’ve decided I’m going to do if any of my worst-case scenario fears are realized is: write letters to the sisters as if they were real people. Talk to them about the ending. Jen Lee kept journals writing to/from the girls when they were conceptualizing the movie; I think there’s merit in letting the characters speak for themselves.

5) Employ your favorite coping mechanisms

These are personal to you, but could include:

- meditation - working out or exercising - yoga - writing/drawing (see above point) - making coffee or tea & relax in bed with a book - talk to someone about it, bonus points if it’s someone in the “real world” - take a walk outside - use breathing exercises - take a hot bath or shower - clean your room/house/apartment - put on music - cook - play with a pet - do something with a friend Note that all of these have to do with the external world. Distraction doesn’t heal us by itself (which is why denial is a poor way of dealing with shit,) but it helps our brains reset in the background. It sets the rest of the world into perspective, so that we can more effectively face our negative emotions later.  Remember, there’s nothing wrong with putting off processing until you’ve done something helpful or enriching. “Listen brain, we can cry later, right now I’m going to bake pumpkin cookies and you can’t stop me.”

6) Remember story is told to connect us with the real world

The idea of escapism is a bit paradoxical, because in pursuing a fantasy world, we’re only working to realize our desires in the real world. The reason we love Frozen so much is because we want that kind of love in our own lives... and the fairy tale reminds us that it’s real. Idealized and sanitized by The Mouse, sure, but it’s real. 

It may be painful to acknowledge but: we don’t need Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, or Olaf in order to flourish. Fiction exists to affect us in the real world. Frozen is one story among many- MANY!- that have the potential to sculpt your own personal future. That’s not to say it doesn’t retain a deep meaningful significance for us. I’m going to hold the first movie in my heart forever, that I know for sure. But its reasons for being great are because it plants us in reality. Can you imagine a beautiful young woman with the ability to freeze ice? Maybe that’s not plausible. But an undying, fiercely loyal commitment between two women? Hell yeah. 7) Recognize idolization & parasocial relationships where they may be... and start to heal them

This is heavy stuff that might require a professional to help you sort through- but if you’re truly suffering, paralyzed, or flung into a depressive episode due to any life circumstance (including a movie sequel,) it’s not silly to seek help in order to move forward. 

Parasocial relationships are perceived relationships where the other party (usually a celebrity, in terms of celebrity worship) doesn’t know you. Fictional worlds can fall into this category as well. It’s a one-side relationship that feels unbalanced when the other party does something we don't like. This is a studied topic I’m not super knowledgable on, but here are some links to more information if you’re interested: Why We Get So Attached To Fictional Characters by Kimberly Truong 

Parasocial Relationships with Fictional Characters in Therapy by Kathleen Gannon

Parasocial Break-Up from Favorite Television Characters: The Role of Attachment Styles and Relationship Intensity by Jonathan Cohen

Our fictional friends: Parasocial interaction and relationships in an evolving media world by Carri Romm - - - Also: I love you guys. <3 I love being in the Frozen fandom. It’s all going to be okay.

[fadingcoast]

Death Of The Lie  ||  Chapter 18: Closure

AUTHORS: @fandom-and-feminism​​ & @fadingcoast​

Summary: Odin and his daughter Hela are the perfect conquerors of the universe. The nine realms fall one after the other into their clutch. After Odin takes a second wife and has a son with her, he doesn’t need Hela anymore. Hela abandons her father and ends up marrying Laufey, a sworn enemy of the Aesir people. Not long after, she becomes pregnant with Laufey’s child. Odin cannot let that son be born, but against all odds, the boy survives. Odin is forced to bring him back to Asgard to be raised as his own until he could make further use of him. The half-Jotun-half-Aesir boy grows up to look and act a lot like his mother, which disturbs Odin, and makes him treat the boy horribly. Odin’s lies are deep and complex, but one day the boy will find out the truth about everything he is.

PAIRING: None RATING: Teen

MASTERLIST

Feedback is always appreciated and reblogs are encouraged!!

Chapter 18: Closure

Erik.

Loki’s heart dropped like a ball of ice into his stomach. He was so preoccupied with the wedding reception and the ring that he had completely forgotten that Erik would probably be here. Frozen in place, he couldn’t make his muscles move to turn around. He heard Erik let out a breathy laugh and clear his throat but he still couldn’t move.

“I just… I saw the… are you…” Erik clearly couldn’t find his words either, tripping over every other syllable until he trailed off with a frustrated sigh. Finally Loki was able to turn around slowly, his eyes trailing up from the crystal floor and over Erik’s formal Vanir attire until he met his dark amber eyes. “Hi.”

Loki blinked a few times before he could answer. He suddenly felt self conscious of his helmet and took it off, making it disappear, and ran his fingers through his short hair to smooth it out. “Hi,” he managed to say, just loud enough for Erik to hear him.

Sigyn broke the tension and ran to Erik for a hug, nearly knocking him down. “It’s so great to see you!”

“You too,” Erik replied, not bothering with masking his contempt, still staring into Loki’s eyes. “So, ah, you two getting married?”

Sigyn glanced over her shoulder at Loki and back up at Erik. “Yes,” she said slowly, carefully, forcing a smile. “We’ve gotten really close and my father figured there really couldn’t be any better of an arrangement. It won’t be for some time, but… yes.”

The fake smile on Erik’s face as he cast his eyes to the floor made Loki’s chest ache. Centuries had passed since he had last seen Erik but still he felt a longing he couldn’t describe.

“You look well,” Erik said, hands clenched at his side. “Strong. The short hair works for you.” You’ve changed, Loki could practically hear him saying, the true meaning behind his words. You’ve moved on.

Loki took a step closer to Erik, then two. “You look good too,” he somewhat managed to put out in a steady voice.

His former lover had grown as well, nearly as tall as himself, with twice the musculature. Truly a man now, and a Prince, not my tadpole anymore, Loki realized. Yet he was still just as handsome as the last night they had spent together all those years ago. Loki wanted to say more, so many words he had kept to himself for too long, and they were buzzing under his skin like insects. But he couldn’t afford to open himself up to those feelings again, not when it took so long to shut himself away from them.

“Erik, I -”

“There you are!”

A bright and cheery voice broke through the awkward silence and Princess Finja, Erik’s wife, came through the door from the throne room, smiling wide with her hand resting on the curve of her belly. Erik’s face lost its color but he straightened his spine and plastered on a grin as his wife came out to stand next to him. Quickly Loki stood up straight and collected himself as Finja recognized him and stared. He wished he could melt through the floor when she gathered her skirts and curtsied as low as she could.

“Your Majesty,” she greeted Loki, and did the same for Sigyn. “It’s an honor to have you both here. It was a pity you couldn’t come to our wedding celebration, but in another year or so we may have a naming ceremony to invite you to, if Erik ever makes up his mind about it.” Finja stroked her stomach affectionately but cut her eyes sharply at Erik, who had turned an almost sickly gray color.

“Of course,” Sigyn piped up, sparing Loki the need to respond. “A new baby, how exciting!”

A baby, Loki pondered. Poor Erik must have put duty over desire, or she forced him. He shuddered inwardly at the thought of the latter. Or the baby carries someone else’s genes…

“Your Majesties, shall we come back to the party? The King and Queen were looking for you before I found you.” Finja’s sweet smile never wavered as she took Sigyn by the arm and led her through the door, leaving Loki and Erik staring at one another in tense silence. It was Loki who moved first, his hands clenched and his heart racing. He started toward the door and Erik instinctively put his arm behind him, just barely grazing Loki’s back, and Loki’s stride faltered from the slight contact.

“Loki…” “It’s okay, Erik, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Loki turned to face him, but his eyes didn’t meet Erik’s. “It’s been a long time-”

“A long time and yet you can’t look at me?” Erik’s voice was laced with sadness as he took a step in front of Loki. “I guess I should-”

“Please, Erik, don’t.” Loki took a deep breath and held it before looking at Erik. “It has been a long time. We both have lives now and-” He tripped over his words, not sure of exactly what he wanted to say.

Erik nodded and forced a small smile. “Sigyn, huh? At least you got to choose a good one. She will surely make you happy.”

Loki felt his heart sink at the implications of his words. Erik didn’t have the benefit of a choice. He lowered his voice for discretion. “And- are you happy?”

“It could be worse.” Erik shrugged his shoulders. “Finja and I have come to an understanding. We know what is expected of us.” Loki knew this very well: the obligations and duties of nobility was what tore them apart in the first place. “But we’re not blind or stupid. We mostly keep out of each other’s hair. She keeps my secrets and I keep hers. Play the happy couple in public.”

“So the baby-?” Loki asked tentatively.

Erik shook his head. “Not mine, except in name and status. I think I’ve touched that woman twice since we got married. Didn’t particularly enjoy it.”

Loki gulped hard. “And who do you - enjoy?”

Erik was surprised by the question, and noticed how Loki was holding his breath. He took a moment to decide how to answer that. “His name is Wilhelm,” he finally said. “He’s my squire now. Clever, discreet, very good with his mouth…”

“I didn’t need to know that!” Loki covered his face with one hand and carefully peeked through his fingers to check that no one else was listening.

Erik laughed, successfully lowering the tension. “He kind of reminds me of you, you know?” He took a deep breath and lowered his head, fidgeting with his fingers. “He’s smart and kind and funny… He makes me happy. Makes me forget I’m living a lie.”

The knot in Loki’s stomach loosened a bit. At least he’s happy. His head swam with memories and made up scenarios, so many things Loki had tried too hard to bury. They had been so happy, once, Loki thought he’d never be happy again when Erik left.

But I am. Sort of.

Despite the pain that caused him to freeze half of Alfheim castle, despite believing nothing could ever be as good as what he had with Erik, his heart had mended. He had been able to explore love and pleasure and lust, and heartbreak. And now he was engaged. Against all odds and expectations, he was the one engaged, to a princess, a great woman, a great friend.

“I’m- I guess, I’m-”

Erik smiled. “We had our time. As short as it was meant to be. I- I like to think I’ve made my peace with it.”

“Is that why you stopped writing?”

Erik nodded. “It just hurt too much. I needed a break from all the hurt. A break from my own head imagining we could be together again.”

Loki gave him a bittersweet smile. He knew the feeling all too well. A momentary pang of jealousy for the couple he had come to celebrate ran through him as he heard their joyful laughter spread through the throne room - at least they would never have to worry about choosing between love and duty, as clearly they had found both in their match.

Sigyn, reappearing on the window frame, made Loki realize that his lot wasn’t so bad after all.

“My prince, you should come back inside now. The newlyweds need Asgard’s blessing.” Sigyn smiled while she spoke, but her eyes denoted the urgency.

“Yes,” Loki said straightening up. “Of course. Will be right there.”

In a tiny flash of green, Loki made his helmet reappear. He took a deep breath and turned to Erik, words failing him once more.

“I have found my measure of happiness with what I have, Loki.” Erik was the one to speak. “I know you will find yours too. There are great things coming for you.” There was a veiled goodbye in his words, an unspoken but clear finality. They would not see each other again after this.

Slowly Loki nodded, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. He held Erik’s gaze and reached to grasp his forearm. “Same for you, my friend.”

.-

The few days away from Asgard were a balm to Loki’s soul. A reminder of a life that waited for him outside the borders of his own realm, a place that no matter what, he could never bring himself to call home. Home was somewhere else.

Loki knew he had to be worthy of that home, of the responsibilities that home would demand of him in the future. He decided quite quickly and easily that he would do whatever it took to live up to those responsibilities.

His days became a blur of weapons and magic training, royal education and diplomatic meetings. Odin still requested him to attend dignitary audiences. Unlike Thor, who was quick to demand respect without earning it, and threatening with violence, Loki used his abilities and his brain to read people, and learned how to make himself indispensable to the crown. His silvertongue had been well known within Asgard, but the knowledge spread wider, increased by his insistence to accompany Asgard’s High Chancellor on dignitary duties, reasoning that a hands-on learning process was much more effective and useful. Not only was Loki able to outmaneuver dignitaries and nobles in such a way that they didn’t even know it happened, which directly opposed Odin’s normal show of power in an effort to intimidate, but it was Loki who knew when and how such men and women were trying to trick them and was the first to make it known.

It was also a very clever way to set himself apart from his brother. Thor’s approach to things was always to hit first and ask questions later. Many realms made the mistake of assuming Loki, just as his father and brother did, would come boasting Asgard’s military strength and power. Most of the diplomats were pleasantly surprised, as they could hold a civil conversation with the younger prince. But at the same time many of them grew weary of him, spreading rumors of mind control and dark magic, refusing to audience with the second, lesser prince. Loki was at least grateful that Odin failed to make a big deal of it. As long as Loki's abilities were useful, he would ignore them, and decided Loki was the best representative to deal with affairs in his name.

Whatever time that wasn’t dedicated to combat training or royal duties, Loki spent at the library. Soon, he gave up trying to convince Odin of expanding their collection, and seeing the books curator wouldn’t go against Odin’s orders, Loki took advantage of his newly found freedom. He had already learned to conceal himself from Heimdall, and his next step was to track hidden and forgotten portals in and out of Asgard. This allowed him to smuggle not only books, but several curious contraptions, including a device that recorded and reproduced music. His chambers were too small to store all this new found treasures, so he magicked himself a private room in the library, filling it up with all his findings. He used it to study, read, learn and write.

But the room had yet another purpose: it became his hideout. No one knew about it, not even his mother. Whenever he wasn’t in the mood for family dinners, he was secreted away in his little corner of the world, writing letters to Sigyn, deep in the pages of a book or poring over some new music he had found. It became his haven from the pressures of castle life and allowed him to pretend the kingdom wasn’t heading toward ruin.

Because Thor was in no rush of learning or growing. He was comfortably following his father’s steps, replicating his ways. Proud and hot headed, the elder Prince liked to muscle his way out of problems and would rarely think before acting, especially when he was provoked or teased. Many a meeting was spent with Loki trying to put out a few fires, both figuratively and at times literally. Thor lacked the wisdom of age and experience it took to know when and how to act like a King, and lacked the will to learn how to.

But time wasn’t something that the kingdom was afforded, for the Allfather was steadily growing ever older, weaker by the year. Odinsleeps came more frequently and began to last longer, leaving the kingdom vulnerable even with the Queen and her sons to protect the realm. It was clear that Odin’s rivals and enemies began to take notice when ambassadors and dignitaries paid their visits to the King. No one outside of the castle saw it but Odin became convinced the other realms were mobilizing against him.

Asgard needed to make a statement.

It wasn’t long before Thor’s coronation was announced, and Loki was already coming up with a plan. He didn’t want the throne for himself, but there had to be a better choice than Thor. If Odin wasn’t able to see how bad a king and ruler Thor would be, Loki would take matters in his own hands and make the whole of the nine realms aware of his negligence.

<< Chapter 17  –  Chapter 19 >>

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