#my poor ad talking me down as i cry/laugh on the phone LOL

[cxldblxxded]

my ad and i like 15 minutes ago

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[whumpzone]

Linden & Colton - 19

(masterpost)

CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation

-

Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.

Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.

lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day

are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something

you know you miss me!!

Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.

fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc

That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:

Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.

Vik replied almost immediately.

yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!

He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.

He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”

“Hey, big man. You alright?”

“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”

“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”

Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”

“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”

“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”

“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”

“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.

“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”

“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”

“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.

“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”

Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”

“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”

“See you, Pet man!”

Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.

. . .

He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.

He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.

Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.

“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”

Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.

“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”

The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.

“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”

He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?

Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.

But-

The next day-

It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-

Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.

All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.

The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”

. . .

Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.

“Col?” he said. “What is it?”

“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”

“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.

“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”

“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”

Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.

“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”

-

Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.

“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”

He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”

“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.

“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”

“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.

“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”

Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.

“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”

“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.

“Well… actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”

“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”

“The ladies love it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”

. . .

Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.

Before that, though-

Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.

Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.

The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.

“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.

“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”

He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.

. . .

Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.

You see, see what I mean? See how he is?

Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.

I’m sorry.

Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.

He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.

“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”

He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.

“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”

As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”

It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.

The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.

-

first half of the taglist!

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread

@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate

[deluweil]

Buddie 4x14 review - if you haven’t watched it yet don’t read.

The episode starts where we left it, once Buck was on the ground, it seems like he was thrust back into reality. I noticed two things here (connected with 4x13) Eddie didn’t close his eyes until Buck was safe behind the truck on the ground. And the second thing is that Buck was spurred into action the moment Eddie’s eyes closed.

And I mean this was some BAMF Buckley right there, that was SEALS trained Evan Buckley! 😱🤩 It’s like training and instinct kicked in and all that mattered was to get to Eddie and get him help as soon as possible, sniper’s bullets be damned. I gotta say it was executed to perfection❣

Big kudos to both Oliver and Ryan for delivering this whole sequence in a heart-wrenching, beautiful manner.

The shooting doesn’t stop and they get Eddie out of there under fire, I really like the 133 captain and crew, they worked so well with the members of the 118, it seemed effortless. (I’m not touching that subject, but let’s picture Buck lifting Eddie bodily up into his arms and in to the truck for just a second here. - I mean we wanted it but not under these circumstances)

Buck taking the role of medic when finally getting Eddie into the truck, is so amazing, he’s usually the one either in need for treatment or the one who stands back and let’s Hen, Chim and Eddie do the medic stuff, it is their jobs after all, but he doesn’t sit back and let the medics of the 133 to take over, he does it himself. 

He tore Eddie’s uniform’s buttons open (again, that’s not how any of us wished for this to happen), tore the pressure bandage wrap open and pressed it down on the wound, he did not step back from Eddie, until he absolutely has to, at the hospital. 😭

Eddie, my poor baby, was lying on the ground of the truck, bleeding and half conscious and the one thing he focused on was the blood on Buck’s shirt and he asked him if he’s hurt. I mean I could totally cry, because that’s Eddie. Best friend, combat medic, protective and caring, that never goes away even as he’s lying there bleeding. 🥺🥺

Eddie was legit ready to forget his injuries and try to get up and take care of Buck if he was hurt too. He loses consciousness only when Buck assures him that he’s not hurt.

Buck’s frantic litany of “Just hang on, we’re almost there.” and “I need you to hang on” (“I need you”, not we, not Christopher, “I need you”) was really hard to watch, because even though we all read and wrote it in fanfics thousands of times, watching it actually play out was heartbreaking, I totally teared up with Buck there.🥺🥺

For firefighters the job ends at the hospital doors, so Buck naturally, out of instinct stops from following. But that’s Eddie taken away from him and he looks frozen, at that moment he must have thousands of thoughts running around his head.

“You ok Buckley?”

Buck’s broken “No.” was maybe expected, but it was also earth shattering of sorts. This is Buck standing there, knowing (especially after the well incident) that when Eddie is not okay, he’s not either. 😭❤

I want to point out that I loved the fact that the 133 didn’t just drive away or waited outside for the cops, they went in after Eddie. And after trying to check in on Buck, the Captain of the 133 went in too.

I’m going to point out a parallel here between S3 Finale and S4 finale, in 3x18 Eddie asks Buck if he’s ok as his ex-girlfriend was taken in the ambulance with her new fiancé, Buck’s response was “What’s next?” and going back to work. He was okay, because Eddie was with him, and there was still work to be done.

Here in 4x14, Eddie is taken from him to the hospital, and Buck doesn’t know if he’ll live, so Buck’s obvious answer here is ‘No’.

Later we see Buck exiting the hospital, in his firefighter uniform. I’m a little disappointed we don’t see him cleaning up, I know that could have made for a hell of a scene, Oliver would have killed it, and us in my opinion.

Taylor is coming to the hospital, not as a reporter but as a friend. She was worried. I like that side of her, when she knows to put away the reporter and to make sure her friend is in one piece. Her character development is shown beautifully in this scene. 

Buck, in no condition to pretend and speak to the press, turns away from her, he doesn’t trust her at that moment and he doesn’t trust himself not to break down there. He’s teary, still in shock and his hands are shaking like crazy. (in complete contrast to the usual Buck, where he can be in danger or wrap up a crazy rescue and he is normally completely steady.)

Taylor, offered to take Buck to Eddie’s house to see Christopher, telling him he can’t go see Chris looking like he does now. “You can’t got see his son like that.” - At first hear and several others it sounded like “Your son.” - of course it’s not but either way it would have been true too, because in a way Buck has been co-parenting Christopher for a very long time now. And indeed later when Buck gets to Eddie’s house he is washed and dressed in civilian clothes.

The scene with Oli and Gavin killed me! I thought for sure the breaking down will be done in private, but Buck couldn’t hold it together in front of Christopher once he found out Eddie is going to be ok, and Christopher comforting Buck was so so sweet.

Christopher’s “like the ones who fixed you?” Kind of gives us a certain idea as to the conversation Eddie had to have with Christopher when Buck was hurt. His sweet “Then he’s going to be ok,” he says it with such conviction, only adding “right?” only as an afterthought.

And as if he manifested it himself Buck then gets a text from Bobby that tells him that Eddie pulled through surgery and it looks good.

Buck actually dropped the phone from the relief and he started to cry, and sweet, adorable, national treasure Christopher puts an arm around him and tells him that Eddie is going to be okay. I definitely cried with Buck here. It was such a powerful scene and it was portrayed so well by Oliver and Gavin. 

The “it’s going to be okay Buck” was kind of a call back to 3x01 - when Christopher reassures Buck and tells him “You’re going to be okay kid.” - I love these two together so much! ❤❤

When Bobby gives them the talk in the firehouse about how they proceed from there, Buck is standing with his arms crossed, looking completely dejected. And when Hen asks about the safety of their families, Bobby says there's no reason to believe they are in danger, Buck pipes in with “We didn’t have a reason to believe Eddie will get shot helping a kid either.” Buck is traumatized, and worried, he sleeps at Eddie’s house looking after Christopher.

I loved Christopher waking Buck up, and them having cereal breakfast together, a call back to Eddie and Christopher having breakfast together in 2x04. Buck doesn’t sit next to Chris, but across from him - to me it says that the seat between them is usually reserved to Eddie when they’re together at the house.

I love how Christopher’s teasing Buck about him snoring. And Buck is later confused because he’s unsure of whether or not Chris really understands what’s happening, but Carla assures him that he already lost his mother, unfortunately he understands better than he or she thinks. Which again should give people a new appreciation for Christopher’s sunshine child attitude.🥺❤

Carla showing up to take Christopher to school, is showing relief that Buck could finally sleep, which means that he didn’t for at least a couple of nights. She’s also asking him how it feels to go to work, Buck doesn’t even think about the sniper, for him all that matters is that Eddie is not out there with him and it feels off. (call back to 2x18 when Eddie seemed pensive about being back at work but Buck was not with them.)

Carla, bless her, retorts that that is not what she was asking - obviously she meant, she was worried about the sniper, but that is not Buck’s main worry, his head and his heart are somewhere else.

The crane scene was insane! I laughed when Chimney looked to Bobby and asked him “Can you blame him cap?” and Bobby flat out responded “Yeah!” 😂

The rescue was really impressive. However if Eddie ever found out about this he would probably hit Buck over the head with something heavy. It just goes to show that Eddie is Buck’s impulse control and vice-versa.

Bobby and Buck’s interaction wasn’t one of anger, Bobby was terrified and Buck was guilty but unapologetic, because he couldn’t protect Eddie but he could protect the rest of his family, so he did just that. Bobby didn’t have anything to say other than give him the same response Eddie did in Monsters - “Don’t do it again.” - Because for one, in my opinion, Bobby knows where Buck is coming from and also Bobby knows, he knows Eddie is Buck’s impulse control, knows he’s his anchor, he knows that Buck will only be his relatively normal self when Eddie comes back.

I’m not even going to touch the Taylor scene, yes she was worried, and yes she scolded him in a friendly way, but that kiss felt so out of left field for me, especially since Buck was just packing a bag to go stay with Christopher and Eddie was still unconscious at the hospital.

Also she freaking friendzoned him last episode, how fickle do male writers think women are? She gets a little scared and kisses the guy? Lucky they didn’t write in a sex scene! That was an insult to women everywhere in my opinion. It could have been set in so many better opportunities, why now? And if she’s scared now what’s to say that won’t make her leave like Ali did? I have a whole tirade about it but I will let it go for now.

Now I know ya’ll are like - Eddie woke up because his spidey senses told him someone was kissing his Buck (and I do not negate that point lol), but he just woke up and he asked for Buck. I find it so deliriously endearing that I need a moment even as I’m writing this.🤗🤗

I have to point out that there is no scene of Buck, Eddie and she who will not be name together other than the second when Buck walks in (read ran through the hospital corridors) and Eddie has only eyes for his partner. 👀❤

Afterwards it just the two of them, with a brief facetime to Christopher. I love that Eddie thanks Buck for staying with Chris, and Buck pretty much breaks down the logic behind the decision, like a true parent. - Christopher’s comfort came first in Buck’s eyes, and really that just demanded a hug right there.

“Is he doing ok?” 

Buck’s response here, was very honest, a lot more honest than I expected, “better than me.” He said. Buck openly admits to Eddie, “I kinda lost it when I told him you got shot. I’m sorry I should have held it together.” To be honest, I’m very curious as to the ins and outs of Buck and Eddie’s friendship, especially during quarantine, they seem so much closer, a lot more open. More honest than you'd expect two male, straight, lead characters to be with their friends.

Buck would have played it down and shared only the essentials when it’s anybody else. With Eddie he openly saying here, in his own way, ‘I was terrified, and heartbroken, and ‘couldn’t imagine my world without you.’ - ‘I couldn’t function with a clear head.’ - ‘all my masks were shattered.’ 

“You were there for him when I couldn’t be, that’s what matters.” Eddie knows, buck, he understands him better than anyone, he’s telling him here in his own way that it’s okay, and he loves him just the way he is - it was his way to reassure Buck that he was doing just fine.

But Buck’s “Still I think it might have been better for him if I was the one who got shot.” - Eddie looked like he was ready to get up and smack some sense into Buck. 

I want to point out that Buck’s response to Eddie being hurt or in danger is nowhere near the same as his response to anyone else in danger. Case in point in 4x14 is Bobby, he is inside, probably injured, in a fire with a gunman - if it was Eddie, Buck would have waited 0.1 seconds before he disappeared back into the flames to help Eddie. 

With Bobby, he was calm, cool, calculated, he knew what Athena would do because that’s exactly what he would have done if it had been Eddie and he is ready with helpful details and a plan. He wants to go with her, but doesn’t argue when she says no. 

Eddie is Buck’s Bobby, and it reflects all throughout this episode, and I think I had some parallels pointed out in 4x13 too. So I don’t know what scripts Tim reads or if we’re all watching the same show but buddie exists and thriving as far as I’m concerned.

Buck is also the one to pick Eddie up at the hospital - he tells him that the nurse is getting his meds and discharge papers ready, which means that Buck did all that process, he was busy getting Eddie discharged. (Take a moment to soak it in.)😌

Eddie sits Buck down to talk, to be honest this talk went pretty much the way I expected it. 

Eddie explains why he had his will updated, and that Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to Eddie. - I love that after all this time, sweet Buck is still surprised. 

He asks if Eddie didn’t need his consent for this and Eddie’s reply is: “My attorney said you could refuse.”  

I also love, that even shell-shocked, Buck knows that Eddie knows him “You know I wouldn’t.”

And Eddie assures him that he does in fact know Buck, and he knows that Buck loves Christopher as much as Eddie does “I know you wouldn’t.” 

(”I had to do it.” - “Yeah, I know you did.” this was a call back to 4x05 where Eddie understood why Buck did what he did. And knowing what we know now, I can assume that even though Eddie understood and forgave Buck, he didn’t have to like it.)

“No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you.” - call back to 3x03 anyone? 

“There’s no one I trust with my son more than you.” - and Eddie proves it time and again.

And here he is basically giving Buck permission to give hell to his parents or anyone who tries to take Christopher away from His Buck. - And I love it!! 🤗❤

Buck, smart, handsome guy that he is, asks the right question again - “Why are you just telling me now?”

“Because Evan.” That first name that even took Buck by surprise, because Eddie only ever called him Buck, to our knowledge anyway. - Eddie was talking to Evan Buckley, not Buck, and yes they are two separate entities living inside one hunky firefighter. - This is Eddie saying, I know you’re frayed around the edges, I know I’m asking for a lot right now but I need you to hear me.

“You came in here the other day and you said it would have been better if you who were the one who was shot,” and I think for Eddie, who was lying on that firetruck floor bleeding out, and his only concern was that Buck may have been hurt, that was the worst thing Buck could have said. 

“you act like you’re expandable but you’re wrong.” 

Eddie has been where Buck is at that moment, losing his wife, watching his best friend nearly die time and again. - Really at this point Eddie just wants him safe, and if telling him about Christopher is what will do the trick, then he is not above playing dirty.

Eddie is telling Buck, you are my partner, you are Christopher's second parent, I love you, Christopher loves you, I don’t know what I’d do without you. - Because Eddie has been without Buck before and he was completely lost. - And that’s before they became even more intertwined as they are now. 

I love the second before Buck and Eddie enter, Eddie’s house, before Buck opens the door, Eddie looks like he’s steeling himself to get in and Buck has a knowing grin on his face, somewhere between ‘ready?’ and ‘they’re happy you’re back be nice.’ 👀😂

I hated the jump forward, but everyone standing on the roof looking good and Eddie with those sunglasses? wow!! 🥵🤩

This was an all out buddie episode, and I was totally there for it!! I really hope for many more, because these two give me life!!

[resident-of-storybrooke]

Nothing Good Happens After 2AM (Ch 4)

Rating: M (finally earning that for this chapter)

Words: 2900

Read: ao3, ff.net CH 1 CH 2 CH 3

Summary: Emma took Killian home for the holidays as a fake date. Things seemed to be going well…until it didn’t. What happens when two fools in love didn’t confess their love over the holidays like they planned and have to go back home to reality? This. This is what happened…(A twist on fake dating during the holidays)

AN: Well....shit lol here we finally are! I wish I had a good reason for the year and a half delay. Honestly, I got one not so great review and it shook me a bit and I was already iffy about writing. But thank you to so many incredible souls being so encouraging and supporting me to get back into writing. Thank you to @kmomof4​ who read all four chapters and edited them (make sure to check them out). I really hope you enjoy this last part as I’m so happy to finally have this out for you all. A very late and final contribution to @csjanuaryjoy

tagging some of the fam squad (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @kymbersmith-90 @let-it-raines @artistic-writer @hollyethecurious @hookedonapirate @carpedzem @nowforruin @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @thesschesthair @teamhook​ @winterbaby89​ @zaharadessert​ @stahlop​ @ultraluckycatnd @blowmiakisscolin​ @peggyswan​ @jrob64​ @klynn-stormz​​ @tiganasummertree​ @batana54​ @pirateprincessofpizza​​

ALL THE LOVE

Ruby made her way back up to the party, excited to see how the rest of the night would play out after her phone call to Emma. As she made her way back into Killian’s apartment she saw the Nolans as they gestured rather animatedly. Then Ruby rounded the corner and looked in to see who they were yelling at. 

Shit. 

It was Killian. 

And from the looks of it they were letting Killian have it. And he was just standing there taking it.  

What the hell did he get into in the last five minutes to warrant this? Ruby was both concerned, but mostly entertained because the sweet sunshine Charmings never yelled. She strolled into the kitchen with a grin, figuring she would enjoy the show. That was until the furious couple saw her - apparently she was their new target. 

“Ruby Elizabeth Lucas! You have a lot of explaining to do.”

Ruby was confused to say the least. How the hell was she involved in... whatever this was? 

“Um...I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“Bullshit, Ruby!” She was completely taken back, Mary Margaret never swore. “You just told me that Emma thought Killian was dating Elsa. And last time I checked Killian and Emma have been together for the last three months. So please, explain yourself. Now.”

“I feel like it’s not really my place,” she said, darting her eyes toward Killian, but she could tell no one was buying it. “Listen, Snow White and Prince Charming, your poor sister felt pressured to bring a date home for the holidays. She and Killian decided to go to Ruth’s and tell y’all they were dating so you’d back the hell off. And it worked and everything was fine. Then Elsa showed up and spooked Emma because she thought she lost her chance with him. Because shocker,” she looked fiercely at Killian and had to restrain herself from smacking him upside the head, “they’re both in love with each other and are being absolutely idotic and not telling the other the truth.” She turned back toward the stunned silent Charmings, “And you two are not helping the cause!”

Killian looked up in complete shock, his eyebrows nearly reaching his hair. The Nolans stood gaping at her, obviously not expecting her brutal honesty. 

“Listen,” Ruby took a deep breath. “Cut them some slack. You two were acting like Emma was going to turn into some crazy old spinster if she didn’t find a date soon. Also, you two act as though you are a literal fairytale couple.” She shrugged. “Sometimes it’s hard to live up to your kind of love.”

As David stood in shock, Mary Margaret finally spoke up. “We went too far, didn’t we?” That’s when she turned to Killian. “We’re sorry, Killian. We shouldn’t have ever put you in this situation. We love you, we love Emma, and that wasn’t fair...I hope you can forgive our behavior this evening.”

Just as Killian was about to speak up, the door opened revealing an out of breath Emma Swan.

Emma was confused by the odd looks she was receiving as her welcome. She should be used to their bizarre behavior at this point, but this felt different. 

As she made her way over to the group her nerves set back in. She was here to tell Killian the truth. She was going to finally confess her love for her best friend. On his birthday. What could possibly go wrong?

“Right, well, this has been fun. Perhaps we should give these two some alone time.” Ruby elbowed the couple so Emma and Killian could have a moment.

As Emma walked towards Killian she finally took in her surroundings and realized how packed the apartment was. “I wish there were less people here…”

“Why, Swan? I love large parties, they’re so intimate. At small parties-”

“-there isn’t any privacy. I like it when you quote things to me.” Looking at him, she realized how close they were. She wasn’t even aware of her own movement toward him. Then she looked into his blue eyes. She missed them. 

She missed him. 

They stood there, taking each other in. It’d been weeks since they’d been together, really together. Neither one knew how to start. 

“Emma, you came.”

She wished in that moment she had something poetic to respond with, but that wouldn’t be Emma. “That’s what she said.”

The two instantly burst into laughter, the tension dying with every laugh. 

“I missed you, Swan.” Killian reached his hand out to tuck a loose strand behind her ear, Emma leaned into his touch. 

“I missed you too. I’m so sorry I ran…I wish I had a good excuse, but I don’t. I wanted to tell you so many times how I felt. I was going to tell you. On New Year's Eve. I was finally going to tell you. I had this whole plan. It was a good plan. And then Ruby fucking decided to be Chef Julia Child and give me food posioning. And then...I saw how happy you looked with Elsa and I thought, I thought, I’d lost my chance with you.” Emma finally found the courage to look up when she finished.

Killian’s eyes were full of unshed tears. When Emma opened her mouth to try and say something to break the tension Killian wrapped his arms around her. Emma finally took a breath. A breath she had been holding for weeks. He didn’t hate her. 

“Emma, my love, I promise nothing happened with Elsa. She was Liam’s fiance. She’s an old friend and nothing more. You though...you’re so much more than that. I’ve been a coward. I’ve hidden behind our friendship, behind the lie we told your family, and I will not do that any longer. I’ve had three words on the tip of my tongue since the night we met, I swear, and I will not waste another minute without you hearing them.”

Emma extracted herself from his grasp. “Before you do, I have something for you.” 

Killian lets out a sigh, “Really? Right now?”

Without another word Emma pulled the small red box from her clutch and handed it to Killian. He looked at her with curious eyes. “It’s your birthday, open the damn thing, Jones.”

“So demanding. Now what do we have here? It's a-” 

He stopped.  

Mistletoe. 

It was the most infuriating object that haunted his dreams - well, besides Emma. That trip to her home, the infernal garnish was everywhere. 

There was that kiss.

God, that kiss. He relieved it daily, prayed that it wasn’t the last kiss he’d ever share with Emma. Up until this moment he was convinced that would be the case.

“Well, Swan, this is quite the gift. I don’t know exactly what to say.” He scratched behind his ear, a nervous tick they were both well aware of. 

“I, um, do you wanna see if it works?” Killian’s eyes shot up to Emma.

“Well, love, seems only right I try it out with you since you were the one that gave me such a generous gift. Shall we...”

Emma cut him off with a bruising kiss, it caught him a little off guard, but it only took a moment for him to catch up. Killian didn’t give a damn that there was a party going on around them. He finally had Emma in his arms. Emma’s hands wandered to the nape of his neck, holding on for dear life. Killian’s hands roamed down her sides before anchoring on her hips, holding her tightly against him. He cursed the fact that Emma was wearing a dress, even if she did look bloody gorgeous in the tight red piece. He couldn’t wait to have that blasted thing on his floor.

They finally broke for air, still clinging to one another, foreheads touching. Killian was ready to dive back in when he looked up and remembered they weren’t alone. Mary Margaret was crying, Ruby was cheering, and David looked slightly annoyed but Killian saw the small smile he was trying but failing to hide. 

“Come on, love. I think it’s time we faced the vultures. And I’d like you to meet Elsa, if that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a pretty good idea, Captain.” Emma reached down and grabbed Killian’s hand before they walked over. 

Maybe the trope board wasn't wrong after all. 

CSCSCSCSCSCSCSCS

As the party went on, Killian and Emma were inseparable; the two constantly touching the other. At one point, while talking to Mary Margaret and David, Emma laid her head on Killian's shoulder, something she'd done a million times, but this time Killian placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

The two were in their own happy bubble. They pretended to be engaged with those around them, but they couldn't ignore but feel the sparks ignited with each touch.  

"So, Emma? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry for the miscommunication. I feel as though that was my fault." Emma was confused on how Elsa seemed to be privy to their issue, but then she saw Mary Margaret across the room and assumed her friend had filled her in.

"Please, don't be. I was...scared I lost my chance with Killian."

"Oh, honey. I don't think you could ever lose this one." Killian squeezed Emma closer to prove her point. 

Turns out Elsa was hilarious and had wonderfully embarrassing stories about Killian. Emma had a feeling the two were going to be good friends after tonight. 

The party eventually wound down a little after one, slowly the various couples left. That's when Emma realized she was alone with Killian. 

Finally. 

Suddenly, Emma felt her nerves grow. They'd declared their love and haven't left the others' side since, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. She absentmindedly threw out some empty cups as she tried to plan her next move.

"Love," Killian called for her from the living room, "can you come here?" Emma slowly made her way into the room as Killian stretched out his arms to embrace her. 

"Emma, I...I know that tonight has been a lot. Our relationship has always been a lot. And I know the future is uncertain, but there's one thing I want you to be certain of - I will always be by your side. For as long as you'll let me, my love."

She didn't even know a tear had slipped until Killian pulled back to wipe it. 

"I haven't always made things easy. I get spooked easily, but I'm tired of running. I want to be with you, Killian. I love you."

"And I you, my beautiful Swan." 

The kiss started off slowly, different than the one earlier, but no less passionate. Emma brought her hands around Killian's neck, playing with the nape of his hair. As Killian kissed down her neck, Emma didn't recognize the noises that escaped her mouth.

As their kisses continued, Emma was surprised when Killian's legs hit the couch and he fell down. She hadn’t been aware that they moved. Emma said she was tired of running, and she was ready to show him. So she straddled his legs and hovered over him for just a moment.

They felt like teenagers again, making out on a couch like this. She could feel him harden beneath her, driving her wild. But, it wasn't enough, she needed more. Emma started unbuttoning his shirt, the bastard already had the top three undone. Without a second thought, she began to rake her fingers through the coarse black hair. 

"I've been dying to do this since we first met. So soft," she murmured. Killian found a spot behind her ear that made her mewl. Emma brought her lips to his ear, "I've always wondered how it'd feel against my breasts." 

With that, Killian pulled back. "My love, are you sure? We can wait. Because once I have you, I'm never going to let you go." Emma nodded slowly. As she looked into his eyes, she could barely see a trace of blue. His pupils were blown. 

Before Emma could stand, Killian wrapped his arms around her to carry her to his bedroom. He only ran into the wall twice as Emma was no doubt leaving marks on his neck. Killian gently placed her in the middle of the bed. 

"I always swore that if we got here, I would worship every inch of you."

"Killian, please, worship later. I need you now."

"Just a taste. Patience, darling." Killian was beyond thankful at that moment Emma had opted for a dress as he quickly removed her thong.  

Before she could speak, he brought his mouth to her sex. "You're already drenched for me. You..fuck...you taste delicious."

Emma couldn't speak, he was overwhelming in every sense of the word. She grabbed a fistful of his hair, not that she needed to guide him; he knew exactly what he was doing. 

Killian replaced his mouth with two fingers. "That's it, Emma. You look so beautiful like this. I want you to come for me, darling. Come and then I'll give you what you really want."

His voice was deeper, accent thicker. Emma had a feeling she could finish from his voice alone, but right now, it was his fingers and mouth that were going to do the trick. 

Emma lost all control of her limbs as he sent her over the edge. He didn't let up though, he continued slowly licking as she came back down. As her breathing returned to normal, Killian kissed up her body. 

"Worship later, Killian,” she moaned again. “Please. I need you. Now."

"So demanding, Swan,” he observed, taking his pants and boxer briefs off. “I think I like this side of you, all in a commanding voice, chills really." 

He climbed back on top of her, but instead of responding, Emma hooked her legs around Killian and flipped him, so he laid on his back. He looked up in awe, he had never been so turned on than in this moment. 

Emma decided she was tired of waiting, but before she could sink down Killian stopped her. "Give me a moment, let me grab something, I -"

"I'm clean, and I'm on the pill. I...I don't want anything between us."

"Gods, Emma. If you're sure? I'm good too, I haven't been with anyone since...since we met." 

Emma dove down to meet his lips as she sank down onto him. Killian swallowed her gasp as she adjusted to his size. Of course, he lived up to every innuendo, and Emma couldn't be happier for that than in this moment. 

For first times, they were both surprised with how easy it was to fall into rhythm with the other. There were only a few slightly awkward moments, but that didn't stop them from enjoying this moment. Emma's hips met Killian's with each thrust, quickly driving the other wild. 

"So fucking glorious, Emma. You're so tight like this. Ride my cock, such a good girl. I want to feel you come around me this time. You're stunning when you come. That's...fuck... that's it Emma, take what you need, darling."

Before Emma could even respond, Killian decided it was her turn to be flipped on her back. "Now, if I remember correctly, you wanted to know how it feels with me on top."

"That's, ugh, that's not exactly what I said. But I'm not complaining."

Emma felt that familiar sensation growing in her stomach as Killian's pace intensified. "Killian, I'm close. Together, I wanna -"

"Aye, love, together."

Killian felt her tighten around him as she moaned out in ecstasy, pulling him right after her. He gave her a searing kiss as he spilled himself inside of her. Killian fell on top of her, too exhausted to worry about crushing her for a moment. 

"Killian? As much as I love how, uh, close we are now, do you think you can move? I can't breathe, and I need to clean up."

"Oi, you're gonna give a man a complex!" Killian slowly rolled off her, in awe of the glow Emma radiated at the moment. Emma couldn't help but giggle as he was being an annoying ass, but mostly he was still...Killian. 

They were still them. Except they just had mind-blowing sex. 

She could get used to this new addition to their relationship. 

"Stay here, love. Let me." Killian was back in a moment and helped clean Emma. When he finished, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, just like before. 

"What is it, Swan?"

"Nothing, I'm just happy. It's just so surprising."

"Aye, love, me too. But this doesn't change anything. I've loved you for years now, and we'll go at whatever pace we both see fit, but I'm in this for the long haul."

"As am I, Captain."

The two laid in bed, cuddled close, and shared lazy kisses. When Emma looked at the clock, she saw it was nearly three in the morning. A few weeks ago, Emma had thought nothing good happened after two am; it turns out she was wrong. 

"Swan? Can you tell me what the bloody hell a trope board is?"

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[severetimetravelnerd]

I Don’t Know (ft. G Dragon and MINO) (8)

Part 8

Jiyong finds out what happened with Jae and Yuna tries to talk to Mino.

This series will be updated once a week, every Friday! No specific time though lol. It’s an AU where Jiyong has a younger sister and you’re her best friend! Featuring my OC Mirae as the Best friend. Just saying, it’s not related to any of the scenarios I’ve written so far. Please do leave me some comments or asks! I love receiving them! It’s also a bit of a love triangle situation, so yeah :)) There will be eventual smut in this series.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Also, just clarifying. The Jae here is not Park Jaehyung from Day6. It’s just the name.

Happy New Year Folks!! :)) Here’s to hoping 2021 is a better year for everyone :) I sincerely hope everyone had a great day and have great years of happiness and health ahead :)

Taglist:

@kwonnansi​

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@yee-hawwwwwwww​

@slayergroupie0128​

@herewecomeitsjekki​

@happygirl327​

@to-all-the-stories-i-love​

Please comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list:))

Word Count: 3753

WARNINGS: cheating, slight violence(punches to the face), sexist remarks, smut (overstimulation and safe word usage). 

——————————————-

You started coughing violently before walking out of the room, excusing yourself. You walked straight past Minho, not even realising that there was someone standing there, but that was okay, because Minho didn’t realise you walked past him either. Yuna had turned around to see if you were okay and she saw Minho. Minho was so lost in staring at her, overcome by a rush of anger and sadness, he didn’t notice Jae excuse himself to check on you. Jiyong did though.

You ran to the bathroom and got there just in time before another violent coughing fit hit you. Why Jae of all people? He was the one person who working with was worse than working with Jiyong. And on top of that, Yuna came with him. Jae had been cheating on you. You didn’t tell anyone that was the reason for your break up though. When people asked, you just said you drifted apart, but it was actually because you caught him with another girl. He was drunk and they were making out, going to their bedroom when you walked in.

5 years ago

“Jae?”

He turned and smirked at you, pulling you into a kiss seconds after making out with that other woman.

“Y/N, babe. Wanna join?”

You started to feel sick. Nauseous.

“Anyway, you’re cheating on me with Jiyong.”

His eyes furrowed.

“Why do you look so sad? Oh. Okay, fine. You can invite Jiyong to join us too.”

Voice strained, you asked,

“How long Jae? How long have you been cheating on me?”

“Ever since I figured out that you were cheating on me with that bastard. I think it was at Sohyun’s wedding?”

You nearly fell right there. He had been cheating on you for three months? Because he thought you were cheating on him with Jiyong? Jae jolted you out of it by grabbing your phone.

“Let me call him to join us. I have a bunch of questions for him anyway.”

“What?! Jae, no!”

“Hello? Jiyong?”

“…What the fuck Jae? Why’re you calling me from Y/N’s phone? Is she okay??”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I actually wanted to ask-”

You grabbed your phone back, choking on a sob.

“No, Jiyong, it’s fine. Don’t worry. He’s just drunk.”

“Y/N, are you sure? You don’t sound okay.”

You couldn’t hold back the sob any longer.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. It’s perfect.”

And you cut the call. You turned to look at Jae and the very uncomfortable looking girl.

“Jae, we’re done. Don’t ever contact me again.”

You walked out to go to your car and cry. Jae never apologised. Nor did he follow you to your car. He just didn’t care. You don’t remember much of what you thought that night. But you did remember thinking that even if you could go back in time and change that one night at the wedding with Jiyong, you wouldn’t.

 ---

All those memories came rushing back, and you started feeling nauseous again. That’s when you felt very familiar hands brush back hair from your face. His touch made you feel even worse.

“What’s wrong Y/N?”

“Jae, get away from me.”

“But my poor Y/N looks a little unwell.”

“Get the fuck away from me.”

Jae laughed and took a few steps back.

“I was not expecting to see you here Y/N. Good to know I was right though.”

“Right about what?”

“About you and Jiyong, of course. Not going to lie, I felt slightly guilty about that night after seeing your reaction when you saw me with her, but now, I feel like I’m more than justified.”

You were about to say something, but Jiyong’s voice interrupted you.

“What night?”

You panicked when you saw a very angry Jiyong standing in the doorway. Furious, he repeated,

“What night Jae?”

Jae looked between the two of you and laughed.

“Oh, you never told him? Come on Y/N, you should have. At least you would have felt better after he beat me up.”

“Why would I beat you up?”

Jiyong’s eyes slowly travelled to you. You knew he was trying to ask you whether you didn’t tell him something, but didn’t want to voice it, scared he would cross a line.

“Well, after Y/N here found me in bed with another woman, I asked her to join us. I also told her to invite you. After all, if I could invite someone, she could also invite the person she was cheating on me with. That’s why I called you that night.”

Jiyong looked murderous. You knew he would want to kill Jae. Right there. But he kept looking at you, hurt more than anything else that you didn’t tell him.

“Your girlfriend caught you cheating. And you invited her to join?”

Jae shrugged.

“I mean, I wasn’t the only one. She had been cheating on me with you for ages.”

Jiyong was about to lose it. You could see that. But you weren’t bothered. Because you were also about to lose it.

“Jae, get the fuck out.”

“Why Y/N? Does seeing me here bother you?”

“Yeah it does Jae. Because I haven’t beaten up someone since middle school and you’re about to make me change that. So, before I do, get out of here you piece of shit.”

“Ha. That’s rich coming from someone who pretty much just slept their way up.”

There was an eerie silence after that. Jae was looking away and smirking. You stared at him, shocked at his audacity. Jiyong stared at you, willing you to let him kill Jae. You turned to Jiyong. He was begging you to let him punch Jae. At the very moment you nodded to Jiyong, too tired to do it yourself, Jae opened his mouth,

“What? Nothing to say to that? I guess it’s true.”

Jae didn’t know what hit him when Jiyong’s fist met his face. He stumbled to the side when Jiyong grabbed his collar and punched him again. And again. And again. Until he felt your hand on his shoulder. Although he was still mad, he dropped Jae’s collar and looked at you, wondering what to do. Jae lay there coughing up blood and wiping his bloody lips. You glared at him.

“Leave him be Jiyong. He’s a model. You can’t mess up his face more than this.”

And you grabbed Jiyong’s hand and walked out.

Jiyong looked pissed, but also confused.

“Where are we going?”

Without turning back to look at him, you muttered,

“Look at your hand. You caught it in Jae’s nose piercing. It’s a mess.”

And sure enough, when he looked down, his hand was a bloody mess. You pulled him into the infirmary and whipped out your phone. Your tone was calm when Somin picked up the call.

“Hey. Jiyong tripped over something, so we’re in the infirmary. We’ll get back to the meeting in a while.”

You turned to him and your voice was pretty disconnected when you spoke.

“Sit.”

You grabbed a first aid kit and started disinfecting his hand. He hissed when the disinfectant touched the wound. You didn’t say anything, but you become a lot gentler.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Jae?”

“I don’t know. This was when I liked you. I didn’t want you pitying me, or being mean to me because you felt like he had a point.”

His voice softened.

“I wouldn’t have done that.”

“Really? Can you really say that? Because you were very mean to me otherwise.”

“I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. A lot of apologies actually.”

“What are you apologising for?”

“For being mean to you. For hurting your feelings. For saying what I did when you confessed. For leaving you alone that night. For taking you for granted. For constantly snapping at you. For pushing you away to the point where you felt like you couldn’t tell me about your toxic ex because I would make it worse. For snapping at you when you called me Ji simply because I was scared it would give me hope for something that I didn’t think would happen because I li-”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

You looked up, meeting his pleading eyes.

“Jiyong, I’m in a happy, healthy relationship. I’m happy with Minho. Please just be happy for me. I haven’t completely forgiven you for everything, because Jiyong, I’ll be honest. You scarred me. For years, I thought something was my fault. I thought I wasn’t enough and that’s why you hated me. And you never cared. I’m treating you normally now because we have to work together for a while. That’s it.”

He looked so painfully resigned that you couldn’t help your heart from hurting.

“Yeah, I know. That’s enough for me. But please don’t cut me out of your life. You’re someone very important to me.”

You backed away after bandaging his hands, leaving Jiyong feeling rather empty from the loss of contact.

“I don’t know Jiyong. We’ll see.”

 ---

While Jiyong was pouring his heart out to you, Yuna excused herself saying she was going to follow you, but she shut the door behind her and went up to Minho. Eyes regretful, she grabbed his sleeve,

“Hey.”

“Hey? Really? That’s what you have to say to me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Minho.”

“Don’t. Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t you want an explanation for why I did what I did?”

Minho stopped breathing for a second. That was the one thing he desperately craved. He needed to know why he wasn’t enough. She knew.

“Minho, it wasn’t because of you. You were amazing. It’s just. I met Jiyong years ago, at a fan sign, and he helped me out. He probably doesn’t remember it, but I fell for him.”

His voice broke.

“So, you dated me to get to Jiyong hyung?”

“Minho, but please. I love you. Please. Please can we try this again?”

“You love me?” He laughed. “What bullshit. If you did, you never would have done what you did.”

“Minho please. I’m so sorry. I’ve never regretted anything more.”

He pulled away from her.

“I have a girlfriend. Leave me alone.”

And he walked off. What was odd however, was that she didn’t seem too upset about that as she kept an eye out for Jiyong to return. Minho managed to walk away, but the moment he closed the door behind him, all he could think about was what she said. And how you had liked Jiyong. And known him for years. And how she dated him to get to Jiyong. Fucking hell. Why Jiyong of all people?

 ---

You somehow managed to get though the day, the only good part of which was seeing Jae stammer as he lied about tripping somewhere. The moment you walked out of the office though, you called up the one person you needed to see.

“Hey Mirae. Wanna get some coffee together?”

“For you to offer me coffee, you must be really out of it. What’s up?”

You smiled. You needed to just relax with your best friend for a while.

“Nothing much. Just... it was a long day.”

“Sure. I’m home right now, so you can come over if you want.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in ten. Keep some sweat pants out for me.”

 You lay back relaxing on her couch, blissfully wiggling your arms in the oversized sweatshirt and comfy pants she gave you.

“I’m stealing these.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

You sat up and sipped on the lemon tea she made you and you could almost feel the tension leave your body.

“Okay, spill.”

You took a deep breath and turned to face her.

“You remember Jae, right?”

Her expression turned wary.

“Yes, I do. Asshole.”

“Yeah, he’s playing Jiyong in the MV. And Minho’s ex Yuna is playing… the girl.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You recounted the day’s events for her, leaving out the bit about him turning up at your apartment drunk and you buying him breakfast the next morning. Mirae always hated Jae, so you knew she’d be mad when she found out, but she just remained silent. Then you told her about what Jiyong said, or rather almost said and how you cut him off.

“He never really cared about me anyway.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

You stared at her, dumbfounded.

“I definitely wouldn’t say that.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“He’s gotten you home when you were drunk on more than one occasion. He’s taken care of you when you couldn’t walk straight. He took it upon himself to cheer up the woman he loved after her boyfriend was an asshole to her at Sohyun’s wedding. He’s comforted you whenever he felt you needed it. Granted, he didn’t know his behaviour caused it most of the time. I have never seen him as worried as he was the day you fainted and he carried you home. He keeps your confession in his wallet. Women don’t stay with him because he can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the only one who can comfort him and cheer him up when he’s feeling low. You managed to get him to cut down on his smoking. He sleeps well only around you. Y/N, you matter to him. A lot.”

“What… Love? Mirae, I thought you didn’t like the thought of us together.”

“I didn’t. Because he didn’t realise he liked you and you never called him out on shit when he was mean to you. It was bad for both of you. Worse for you though. But now, he’s changed. You’ve changed. And now, I think it’ll be better. I don’t know whether I’ll like it, but it’ll be better now. You’re happy with Minho though, so I’m not saying to break up with him. I just want you to know that… things are different now. He still has a lot to make up for. Years of him being toxic aren’t just going to disappear. But even though he told me not to tell you, I feel like you have a right to know about the things he’s done for you over the years. I may be harsh on him, but he’s my brother. And you’re my best friend. And in the end, I just want both of you to be happy. You don’t have to be happy together. Just…be happy.”

You stared at her in shock. She sighed.

“I know. I know you never knew about any of this. And maybe I should have told you earlier. But you were just beginning to get over him when you cut him out of your life and that was what you needed then. Now, things are weird. You’re working with him but you’re in a happy relationship with Minho. He likes you but he’s not trying to make a move on you, although his album is literally about you.”

“I liked him for all these years and he never said anything?”

“He liked you before you liked him. And he didn’t say anything because he was an idiot. And he was scared. And that made him an ass. Don’t get me wrong. He was a Grade A jackass, but I think you should know this.”

You couldn’t comprehend all of this. You felt overwhelmed by this crushing pain. All those years that you liked him, he liked you back? Instead of all those years of questioning yourself, the two of you could have just been together? You felt some anger, but more than anger, you just felt sad. In a barely audible whisper, you said,

“Mirae, tell me everything.”

She looked up, clearly concerned, but she told you everything. About how he started liking you ten years ago, how he convinced himself he didn’t, how he took care of you that night when you were drunk, how he went back to search for you at the park. And with every word, your heart hurt a little more. You liked Minho. It wasn’t even a possibility that you would break up with him after gaining this information, but it really twisted a knife through your heart when you thought of all those years. You stood silently after Mirae was done, gathering your things to leave. She jumped up, worried.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I just really need a little time and space to wrap my head around this.”

“You okay?”

You turned and gave her a sad smile.

“Not exactly, but I’ll get there. I just need to think about this.”

 You got home, showered and napped. You needed time to rest and recover. It had been a very long day. You just wanted Minho to come home soon, so that you could cuddle with him and maybe have a tough conversation about everything you found out today. Oh shit. You’d also have to tell him about Yuna. And you didn’t want that. It did seem like he would be home late though.

Minho was in his studio, trying not to think too much about everything that happened when he heard a soft knock on the door. He opened it and nearly slammed it shut when he saw Yuna standing there. He would have too, if she hadn’t stuck her foot in there to prevent him from doing that.

“Can we talk Minho?”

“What do you want Yuna?”

“Yuna? Sweetheart, whatever happened to baby girl?”

He stared at her in disbelief. She walked past him and made herself comfortable on the couch.

“Minho, I need to apologise for everything that happened a few years ago. It was horrible. And if I could, I would turn back time to prevent that from happening.”

“Yeah, but you can’t, so what’s the point of all of this?”

“Minho, please. You’re the only man I’ve ever been happy with. And you know that we were happy together. Please. Let’s give this one last shot?”

Minho remained silent and Yuna took that as an invitation to move closer to him. She gently put         her hand on his thigh and starting tracing patterns.

“Minho, baby, please. I’m sorry.”

Minho’s mind was clouded. He was so mad that Jiyong hyung was so involved with his girlfriend. He was mad because of their history. He was mad because of his history. He was hurt by everything. At the back of his mind, a small voice told him that he knew that his chemistry with Yuna was unbelievable and he had never had better sex, but still. The thought of you, smiling as you hugged him after a long day couldn’t let him give in. He was tempted. So tempted to not stop Yuna’s hand that was trailing upwards but then he remembered the one time he saw you cry because of a movie. It was just a sad movie, but he had promised himself that he would never be the cause of those tears. He grabbed Yuna’s hand and turned to her to tell her to back off when he kissed him. He was too shocked to do anything about it, so she deepened it. The moment Minho realised what was going on, he pushed her off him.

“What the fuck Yuna?! I told you I have a girlfriend.”

She just looked away, not answering him.

“Get out. Get out of my studio right now and never come back.”

---

Minho got home a while later, exhausted, stressed, nervous, guilty and jealous. Not a great mix of emotions. His jealousy only amplified when he saw you working on a concept for Jiyong.   Not fucking Jiyong again. You were so deep in thought you didn’t hear him, so when he hugged you, you jumped.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What’s wrong Minho? Long day?”

Minho stared at you for a minute, hating how the only thing he could think of was the way Jiyong stood before you protectively. He didn’t reply, instead leaning in to pull you into a deep kiss, his hands travelling down your legs and wrapping them around his waist.

“Yes, it was. Will you help me forget about it?”  

“Okay.”

 Not long after that, you were lying face down on the bed, with tears streaming down your face as Minho’s fingers pumped into you. He was giving you your fifth orgasm. It was too much. Way too much. It has crossed from pleasure to just plain painful. Something was wrong with him that day. He was usually very responsive to your non-verbal cues. He seemed preoccupied and angry. You barely managed to croak out,

“Minho?”

The speed of his fingers increased.

“That’s master to you.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You cried out.

“Minho, stop! Popcorn!”

It took a minute for it to register that you had just used your safe word with him. Once it did though, everything stopped. He immediately stopped, moving away from you. You fell to your side, tears still streaming down your face. You were shaking and you couldn’t keep your eyes open. It hurt so much.

“Oh fuck.”

He tried to wrap a blanket around you but you flinched at his touch. His face fell, but he moved away. God, it hurt so much that you flinched, but it was his fault. He should have checked in on you more. You slowly covered yourself with the blanket and waited till you stopped shivering.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. Fuck. I’m really sorry. I should have checked in on you more.”

You shook your head.

“It’s okay. You didn’t mean to. And it’s over now. We just have to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He was unsure when he leaned closer, moving some hair back from your face.

“I’m sorry.”

You just gave him a slight smile and held his hand.

“I accept your apology.”

“I’ll get you some hot chocolate?”

“Yes please.”

And Minho left for the kitchen. While your body still hurt and you were exhausted, you weren’t mad at him. You just wanted to know what was troubling him. You were snapped out of your thoughts when a notification popped up on your phone.

It was from Mirae.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I thought he was better than that. Remember, you can always just come and stay with me for a while.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. What was Mirae talking about? Who was she talking about? Did Jiyong do something? You opened your browser to try and figure things out when you realised your boyfriend’s name was trending. And your heart stopped when you saw why.

“BREAKING NEWS: WINNER’s MINO and Model Yuna dating!”    

---

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Bokuto, Tsukishima, and Iwaizumi in Bad Day Surprises

OMG LOVE. THIS IS SO BIG-BRAIN, I LOVE THIS. I hope you enjoy this @scrappydaisies​ 😘 

Word count: ~1.7k

BOKUTO 

⭐ It was one of those days where everything that could go wrong, went wrong

⭐ You woke up late, missing breakfast as you ran to work, awkwardly putting on your jacket as you sprinted

⭐ When you got to work, you hadn’t printed your proposal and notes, so you ran late for the meeting because of it

⭐ To top it off, you forgot you had a meeting with your supervisor to discuss a potential raise

⭐ (Yikes)

⭐ Of course, you not only forgot your lunch, you’d forgotten your wallet so you couldn’t even buy food!

⭐ Just a whole-ass series of unfortunate events 😔

⭐ Normally, you’d go bother Akaashi - one of your coworkers’ & the reason you had met Bokuto - but he was out with the flu so you didn’t want to bother him

⭐ You also would have texted Bokuto an SOS, BUT of course, he was out traveling for a match so there was no help there

⭐ So, you found yourself fuming at your desk, asking yourself and all possible deities out there on why you had such bad karma, angrily vent-texting Bokuto

⭐ Though he was preoccupied and not reading/responding to your texts, you felt a bit better getting it out of your system

⭐ One of your other coworkers noticed the predicament that you were in, and ended up buying you food

⭐ As you made your way home, you pull out your phone again to see that Bokuto had left you on read 

⭐ Well okay then

⭐ It’s not like that hurt or anything

⭐ (it 100% did but what else could go wrong, y’know?)

⭐ Bokuto wasn’t supposed to be back for a few days because work

⭐ But that didn’t stop you from opening the door and calling “I’m home!” to an empty house

⭐ Leading to you laughing at yourself...which eventually became hysterical...and soon enough, you were standing in the hallway sobbing

⭐ “Babe?”

⭐ Your brain short-circuits

⭐ “K-kou?!” you sniff

⭐ You were a complete wreck by now. Like, your entire face was hot, the tears would not stop, you were snotty as heck

⭐ Your boyfriend appears in the doorway, his eyes wide at your face before he rushes at you

⭐ “What’s wrong pretty one?” he asks, “is it because of your day?”

⭐ (ngl imagining Bokuto calling you ‘pretty one’ made my heart skip a beat)

⭐ “Kou!” you sob, burying your face into his chest. “Today was honestly the worst day of my life”

⭐ He just rubs your back soothingly, murmuring soft declarations of love and comfort

⭐ You pull back, wiping your nose on your sleeve 

⭐ “Wait, what are you doing here?”

⭐ “Oh right! C’mere”

⭐ Bokuto takes your hand gently, leading you towards the living room

⭐ He had taken the time to construct a massive blanket fort there, golden fairy lights everywhere. The TV was already on with your favorite movie queued, and bags of your favorite takeout were there

⭐ Bokuto scratched at the back of his neck. “I knew you were having a really rough day, and I got back early so I figured you’d like this surprise”

⭐ Of course, you start crying again and Bokuto’s freaking out like OML WHAT DO I EVEN DO

⭐ He thought he broke you, the poor bby

⭐ You’re just shaking your head, crying and you’re just like “I just love you so much, why the heck are you so thoughtful”

⭐ He panics and is like, “why don’t we get you outta this and we can start watching some movies, yeah?’

⭐ And you’re like nodding (you’re still crying lmao) as you drag your feet to the bathroom to freshen up, change, and rejoin your mans in the living room

⭐ “You’re literally the best, you know that?” you sniffle as you re-enter

⭐ Bokuto flashes you a grin, opening his arms as he waits for you to crawl into them

⭐ “I’m so lucky to have you” you mutter, burying your face once more

⭐ “Oh baby, I think I’m lucky to have you” he says as he chuckles, rubbing your back and peppering kisses onto your face

⭐ But in general, Bokuto will randomly surprise you with food, snacks, spontaneous things whenever you’re having a bad day because spontaneity is fun as heck! 

TSUKISHIMA

⭐ You and Tsukki met when you guys were in the same class

⭐ Your teacher had separated him from Yams because they kept talking (SMACK)

⭐ Little did he know that by moving Tsukishima to sit behind you, you’d end up dating!

⭐ It started when you were jamming out to music and straight vibing

⭐ He was kinda intrigued, the boy thought you were cute but he didn’t want to vocalise it because he’s such a kuudere istg

⭐ It was Yams who started talking to you, which encouraged Tsukki to do so as well!

⭐ SUCCESS

⭐ Anyways, y’all start dating and all that jazz

⭐ One day, you come into school lookin like a wreck. A complete mess

⭐ You had pulled an all-nighter in order to finish a paper you were really struggling with

⭐ Like, you had been working on it all. week. and you STILL needed that extra 8 hours to work on it

⭐ And as you were leaving the house this morning, your parents were yelling at you for grades or something, so in general you were in a bad mood

⭐ To top it all off, your headphones had decided to die while you were walking to class, so you didn’t even have the comfort of music to help you

⭐ You were ranting the entirety of lunch, with Yams interjecting with some words of comfort as Tsukishima just silently listened and provided you soft touches to let you know that he was there

⭐ He really wasn’t the type to talk much, especially in public. BUT he was definitely very expressive behind closed doors

⭐ So, once school ends, you head home and just collapse onto your bed - dead to the world

⭐ You woke up because your phone started ringing

⭐ In your haste to fall asleep, it somehow ended up stuck to your face LOL

⭐ You pick it up, groggy as heck

⭐ “Hullo?”

⭐ “Can you open the door?”

⭐ “Kei?!” 

⭐ You stand up suddenly, falling onto the floor as the sudden blood-rush made you lighte-headed

⭐ “Did you just fall?” he asked, snickering slightly

⭐ “Shut up” you scowl as you slowly get your bearings and make your way to the door, hanging up in the process

⭐ “What are you doing here?” you ask, rubbing your eye with your knuckles as you stare up at your boyfriend

⭐ “Am I not allowed to visit you?” he quipped back, a pink flush on his cheeks. “I have something for you”

⭐ You step back, letting him into the house. “You didn’t have to, I’m sure you’re tired after practice”

⭐ “Shut up, I wanted to”

⭐ You guys make your way to your room

⭐ Tsukishima sits at your desk, unzipping his volleyball bag and pulling out a box. “Here.” he says, passing it to you

⭐ Your eyes widen. “Kei! You really didn’t have to”

⭐ He had gotten you some fancy, noise-cancelling headphones 

⭐ (Personally, they’d be AirPods but y’know, it’s whatever y’all prefer!)

⭐ “I know you were having a rough day, and music always makes it better for you so just take it,” he scowled, hiding the red roses on his cheeks

⭐ You grin, putting it down gently before you throw yourself onto him. “Thank you, thank you so much”

⭐ “You’re welcome.” He coughs awkwardly

⭐ Pulling back, you eye his face as he fiddles with his hands.

⭐ “Do you...maybe wanna cuddle or something?” you smirk

⭐ “Shut up..maybe”

⭐ “C’mon then”

⭐ Anyways, if it wasn’t obvious, Tsukki is the type that will hold you and listen to you rant 

IWAIZUMI

⭐ Ugh, college-life woes

⭐ You and Iwa lived together in an apartment. Y’all have been dating for a cool min now

⭐ But the problem of adult life!!

⭐ Y’all just don’t have time for one another

⭐ Or, not as much as you’d like

⭐ Iwa’s busy with his classes and internship

⭐ (Not to mention working out because c’mon this man never stops the grind)

⭐ Like this man is working HARD for his future!!!

⭐ You’re busy finishing up your own final projects and working too

⭐ Y’all basically only see each other for a few minutes every night when you’re laying in bed, updating each other about your day’s before you KO

⭐ SO, when you come home after a really stressful week of late-nights, little sleep, one-meal a day type of situation, you were pleasantly surprised to find your boo at home

⭐ Not to mention, there were candles out, a bottle of wine on the table, and plates of your favorite meal

⭐ HOME-COOKED BECAUSE THIS MAN IS THE PERFECT PACKAGE OK

⭐ “What is this?”

⭐ He looks up, grinning. “Well, I know that someone hasn’t been able to take care of themselves this week, so I decided to take the night off and spend time with them”

⭐ Iwaizumi comes around you, guiding you to the table by the small of your back

⭐ Pulling out the chair, letting you sit before he pushes it in

⭐ “You’re spoiling me Haji” you muse as he pours you a glass of wine

⭐ “Well if you won’t do it, then I will” he shrugs. “Cheers baby” he lifts his own glass, waiting for you to tap yours against his

⭐ If you thought that was the surprise, YOU WERE MISTAKEN

⭐ BECAUSE THERE WAS MOREEE

⭐ He decided to go ALL-OUT with the romance

⭐ After you guys finish dinner, he leads you up to the bathroom where there were unlit candles, and a BATH BOMB

⭐ TBH, I’m imagining LUSH’s Sex Bomb bath-bomb, but it’s whatever you prefer!

⭐ Just know that he added extra petals into the bath just for you

⭐ (you always complain that there weren’t enough lmao)

⭐ He draws the bath and lights the candles as you strip and get ready to shower

⭐ This man is out here washing your hair, soaping you up

⭐ All that wholesome goodness 💘

⭐ He even carries you into the bath!!

⭐ After you’re situated, he brings you the wine glasses and a tablet so y’all can watch a movie or catch up to whatever anime y’all are watching together as he slips into the bath behind you

⭐ All in all, he goes ALL OUT when it comes to spoiling you (he’s a romantic at heart) and honestly, you just need to cuff this man A.S.A.P. 

general taglist: @scrappydaisies​ @newfriendjen​  @kyomihann

Please contact me if you would like to be a part of my general taglist! 💞 Check out this link for information about my taglists.

[ravenforce]

Manhattan 2

Word Count: 3583

Warning/s: None. (Would you believe that? Lol.)

A/N: Thank you so much for everyone who likes, and follows this story. You guys are amazing. Please leave your reactions, bloody or otherwise, on the comment section. My inbox is open too if you’d like to pop by. Oh, and please note the ff:

1. If there are any grammatical mistakes I’ve still overlooked, I apologize.

2. Since you’re already reading this part. Please, be careful out there. Protect yourself from NCOV. Wear a mask if you’re going outside. Wash your hand regularly, and bring alcohol everywhere you go. Take your vitamin C seriously, and stay hydrated. If you feel flu-like symptoms, get yourself checked by experts. Don’t self-medicate. The world is a better place because you’re here. Stay with me. Xx

Manhattan Parts: 1 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8  | 9

*** 

The Morning After - Lou’s POV

Lou can faintly see that the sun is already up and peaking through her curtains. Rather than get up, she shut her eyes tighter, the events of the night prior rushing to the forefront of her brain. She sighed happily as she remembers how soft you were against her hands, how obedient you were, and how beautiful you sound begging her to go faster, harder, and most especially when you screamed her name. She groaned when she remembered how you moaned as you come undone in her mouth and hands. She rolled on her back like she’s been struck by lightning when she remembers how you look in her bed, sated and peaceful.

She was disappointed when she found your spot on the bed empty. She sighed, no one leaves her in bed. It is her that always leave, and the other party begging her to stay but she never does. She sat up, she decided she’s not gonna wallow and think that you leaving is some sort of karma for every girl she left satisfied, yet heartbroken. She decided she’s going to shower because you both did plenty of dirty stuff last night, and then she’s gonna come downstairs to find her brothers and their merry gang of beautiful misfits and have breakfast with them.

Dressed in a crisp white button-up shirt, dark jeans, and black boots, Lou barged into the service kitchen where she knew everyone was holing after a night of partying.

“Good morning, children,” she greeted happily. Amidst being disappointed about your departure, she’s still positively lighter. 

The soft morning conversation came to a stop. It took a minute for everyone to process her presence, that Lou, their big sister is home for once. She’s rarely home ever since she opened the art gallery, The Heist, in Manhattan with Debbie, Daphne, and the crew.

“Sestra,” Loki greeted when Lou rounded the corner towards the coffee machine. “Your after-sex-glow can be seen from outer space.”

The Avengers choked on their breakfast items, Loki and Lou started laughing. 

“Loki!” Thor admonished after successfully gulping down his french toasts. 

“What? She looks great!”

“You could have gone with that,” Tony complained, blushing profusely and pointedly not looking at Lou. They’ve all been close to her, growing up with the boys but they still don’t like being privy to Lou’s sexual affairs.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Loki, ever the sassiest, said. 

Thor watched his big sister for a minute, and the three of them have been closed enough to know that Loki’s right. Lou’s definitely glowing. 

“Please tell me you didn’t pick up a random college girl from the party last night,” Thor said warned jokingly. 

Lou smirked and intentionally didn’t answer the question as she makes her coffee.

“Lou?” Thor asked, squinting his eyes at his sister’s back. 

Lou turned around to look at her blonde sibling with an infuriating smile on her face. 

“Well,” she started, intentionally pausing a beat or three to annoy her brother. “I didn’t actively look for her. She stumbled on my lair, what am I supposed to do?”

Loki and the rest of the gang laughed, while Thor continued mumbling and complaining about having to look at the poor girl sulking at school because the legendary Lou Odinson won’t pick up their calls.

”Besides, how am I supposed to walk away from her? She’s breathtaking,” Lou said with genuine fondness. 

***

Heavy Breakfast - Your POV

Before everyone can grill Lou on who she slept with, you barged in the service kitchen looking slightly dishevelled and with a deep frown on your face. The conversation dropped, while the tension rises. Everyone looked surprised that you’re on-site, their collective gaze fell on Nat and Carol in an instant. The two looked terrified and wholly unprepared for your arrival. They still haven’t quite polished exactly what they wanted to stay, even though they’ve been trying to reach you since the sun started to rise.

“God, Odinsons’ your house is insane,” you said dramatically.

“I went outside to make a phone call, and I got lost on the way back,” you ranted before looking up from your phone and quickly looked at your friends. 

Your perfectly constructed poker face nearly slipped when you saw Lou standing behind Tony and Maria by the coffee maker. She looked mildly surprised but more entertained at the idea of being in the same room as you and the two women she helped you forget - temporarily - last night. You held back the urge to roll her eyes at her. 

“You’re not the first to complain about that,” Lou quipped. “I told the boys to put up signs but I guess they’re both lazy idiots.”

You cracked a smile remembering how she called her brothers that last night before threatening to beat them up, assuming they made you cry. Tony and Maria caught the smile, no matter how small it was and quirked an eyebrow.

“Putting up signs around the house is ridiculous,” Thor complained as you walk towards the coffee machine. 

“Not to mention tasteless,” Loki backed his big brother up. 

Lou handed you her mug of coffee before starting a fresh brew. Thor and Loki stopped talking in an instant, as everyone watches you drink from Lou’s cup. You let out an ungodly moan as you let Lou’s perfectly brewed black coffee with two sugars wash over you, and warm you inside out. Your friends are watching the two of you like hawks. You can hear the cogs in their heads turning, piecing every action and reaction together.

Any minute now, you thought.

“You look good in my shirt,” Lou commented, full-on grinning now. 

“Holy shit,” Tony exclaimed. 

“What?!” Thor yelled as he stumbles out of his stool. 

You just shrugged before turning to your friends. You don’t care much that they know. You’ll tell them eventually, anyway. You just worry that you sleeping with Lou will change your dynamics with Thor and Loki. Wanda looked surprised while Maria looks worried for a second, she knows you best. So, she knows you slept with Lou as a coping mechanism.

Loki and Tony look impressed while Thor looks like he’s still processing but he doesn’t look angry. Nat and Carol looked pissed as hell.

“You slept with Lou?” Nat asked, voice clearly on edge. You frowned, not liking the tone she’s using. “Why?”

“Because I can,” you answered simply, voice neutral. “And I wanted to. Last time I checked I’m free to do whatever and whoever I want.”

“We know we fucked up last night,” Carol started to say. “But this retribution is brutal.”

You can feel your blood starting boil at that. You wanted to yell that you didn’t sleep with Lou as revenge for them kissing Steve and Val, you did it for you. You did it to forget, sure but you did it also because you’re attracted to the woman for fuck sake. You wanted to scream so many things, some of them probably spiteful but you weren’t able to as Lou’s warm, soft hand landed purposely on the small of your back. Everyone caught the action, Nat and Carol’s frown dipped deeper as they watch all your anger dissipate. 

“I can’t do this right now,” you sighed before putting Lou’s mug on the sink next to you. 

Lou just nodded at you before stepping away from her. You walked towards Maria and Wanda before planting a soft kiss on both their cheeks with a soft promise that you’ll explain everything soon enough. You walked towards the Odinson boys next, pulling them both out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Once out of everyone’s prying eyes, you tugged the boys into a hug which they immediately reciprocated, sandwiching you between them.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” you whispered. Thor’s hand landed on the small of your back, while Loki placed his around your shoulder. “I hope we’re cool?”

The boys can hear the worry and hesitation on your voice. Loki smiled at you, before tucking a loose hair behind your ear. “I’m cool with whatever you and Lou are up to. I ship it.”

You smiled at the raven-haired boy before turning towards Thor.

“I don’t understand it but it’s not my business. I just hope you understand what you’re getting into,” Thor said, worry lacing his voice.

The truth is, he secretly ships it as well but he knows her sister’s reputation in New York. She’s been living in Manhattan for a couple of years now, and never had Lou ever dated anyone seriously. He knows her sister’s not the relationship type. She beds girls that caught her interest for a small amount of time until she gets bored or until the girls started developing real feelings for her; then Lou bolts.

She doesn’t care how long the arrangement has gone, if romantic feelings are involved, she’s out. She doesn’t care much if it hurts. For their sister, it’ll hurt worse if she pretends she can give them something she couldn’t. For their sister, it’ll only hurt worst in the long run because what she gives won’t be enough. Lou has been leaving a trail of broken hearts everywhere she goes that’s why Thor worries about you.

You sighed happily. All things considered, you know you’re gonna be okay now that you’ve secured your friendship with the Odinson boys. You were about to leave when the door opened revealing Nat and Carol.

“Wait, Y/N. Please stay,” Nat pleaded. 

“Let us explain,” Carol added. “Let us try and fix this, please.”

You wanted to ignore both of them but the sadness in their voice stopped you on your track. You turned towards them and saw the two woman you truly adore nearly in tears. 

“I can’t,” you started. Nat and Carol visibly deflated. “Not right now. I need to go home and get ready. I have an interview for the internship program. We’ll talk after, I promise.”

“Okay,” they answered smiling softly at each other.

At that moment, you decided that there’s no point holding on the hurt and anger. No matter what, you still love Nat and Carol but you decided you’re not gonna be a player in their game anymore. When you met the two, you knew they still have feelings for each other but they’re too stubborn to admit it, yet you still willingly played. You decided though that if you can’t be with them, you’ll help them get who they deserve.

No more running away. No more mind games, no more using other people to make each other jealous. No one else is gonna get hurt, just because Nat and Carol can’t be honest with each other but that’ll have to wait after your interview. 

***

The Heist - Lou’s POV

“You’re late,” Daphne stated the obvious as Lou walked in leisurely in the conference room two hours after she’s supposed to be in.

Debbie noted the soft smile on her best friends face but said nothing. Lou just shrugged as she plopped down on her designated chair beside Debbie.

“I’m sorry,” Lou said but didn’t offer any other explanation.

She didn’t really have to explain how she stayed up all night just to make you come undone. She didn’t really have to explain how she offered to drive you home as an excuse to spend more time with you. She didn’t feel like sharing how she drove leisurely back to Manhattan because a part of her wants to stay in Ithaca, and risked being teased by her friends for immediately having a soft spot for a girl she barely knew.

9Ball looked up from her laptop to regard Lou for a moment, then every one to check if they’re seeing exactly what she’s seeing.

“At least one of us had a good weekend,” 9ball said with a smirk.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with an after-sex-glow, like ever,” Tammy said making everyone laugh and Lou to roll her eyes playfully.

“Agreed,” Debbie seconded.

“See, even Debbie agrees,” Constance said, “So who’s the lucky girl?”

“There’s no girl,” Lou lied. She knows that Debbie can tell she’s lying but she doesn’t care. She’s not ready to share you with her vulture friends yet.

Before anyone can call her out on her bullshit, the gallery secretary, Charlie poked her head in the conference room.

“She’s here,” she said looking at Debbie.

“Saved by the bell,” Amita teased, prompting everyone to start giggling again. Debbie shushed them after a minute. Charlie who has been working in the gallery since it opened didn’t bat an eye on her bosses weird antics. She just waits patiently for instructions.

“Send her in,” Debbie instructed before Charlie nodded and scurried away to get the last interviewee for the gallery intern position. Whoever gets the job will join her, and the second gallery assistant, Kurt at the bottom of the corporate ladder.

Lou looked at her best friend with a silent question but before she can answer, the door opened and the applicant walked in.

***

The Interview - Your POV

You stopped dead on your tracks when you saw Lou, while the other paled a little.

Holy shit, you thought to yourself.

When Lou said she’s a businesswoman, it didn’t occur to you that she might be the owner of the art gallery you’re applying for an internship. You internally cursed the alcohol you consumed the night before for missing dead giveaways that Lou owns the Heist, like the number of artworks and art pieces in her home office, or the magazines on her coffee table featuring her and her crew. 

You were pulled away from your internal musing when 9Ball jumped out of her chair to tackle you softly in a hug. 

“Y/N!!” 9Ball exclaimed as she rubs her pretty face on the side of yours. Lou frowned at the action.

“You know each other?” Lou asked carefully keeping her voice neutral. 

9Ball extricated herself from your person before dragging you to the table. “This is Y/N Y/L/N, she’s my friend from MIT. She’s eighteen when we graduated uni,” 9Ball bragged. 

“We know, nine. We read her file” Rose said smiling.

Lou frowned because she doesn’t know, she forgot to read your file. She meant to do it yesterday but well, she met you instead. Though she knows things about you, it would be inappropriate for her to divulge them in this interview. She had to bite her lips to stop herself from smiling, thinking about all the tiny details she knows about that isn’t in your resume. Daphne caught her though but decided it’s not the time to discuss what’s going on. 

“Y/N you’ve been vouched by Nine, and your credentials are spot on,” Debbie started to say, using her CEO voice. “So I’m wondering why you still want to do this interview rather than just get the job?”

You smiled up at your potentially new boss. You can easily see that Debbie is the level-headed one in their group. 

“I work great with Nine. You all work great with Nine but that doesn’t mean you will work great with me,” you said softly, confusing everyone some more. 

“I need you to assess me as a person, not just my credentials.” You paused to let that information sink in. 9Ball looks at you with pride in her eyes. 

“I’m great in the paper, sure. I possess the technical qualities to perform an excellent job, but I believe all of it is to go to waste if you find my personality doesn’t match yours.”

Smart. Debbie noted on your resume without breaking eye contact. She smiled at you, clearly impressed. She looked around the table to assess her team’s reaction, and by the happy look on their faces, she knew they liked you as well. Everyone was enamoured by you if their attempts to engage you in a conversation all at the same time is to go by. 

“What do you think?” she whispered towards Lou. 

Lou didn’t take her eyes off you as she answers. “I think she’s perfect…for the job,” Lou caught her slipped up early on but by the look on Debbie’s face, she knew she caught it.

Debbie cleared her throat to draw everyone’s attention back to her. She looked at you intensely, the pregnant pause is giving you anxiety. “Y/N, when do you think you can start the job?”

You heaved a great sigh of relief. “Can you give me until next week to find an apartment, move, and get settled?”

Debbie nodded before standing up, walking to you and shaking your hand.“Welcome to the Heist,” she said smiling. Then everyone came over to congratulate you and give you hugs, except Lou.

***

You were standing at the side of the gallery entrance, texting Maria the good news when someone stood toe-to-toe with you. You’ve seen that boots this morning but you opted to finish your text with Maria before looking up at Lou.

“Would you prefer if I turn down the job?” you asked tentatively. You’re a little worried that she didn’t come over to congratulate you awhile ago.

“What?! No! Unless you don’t think you can’t work with me,” she teased. You laughed softly.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Ms Odinson.”

“Miller,” she said. You tilted your head confused. “I don’t use Odinson here. It attracts too much-unwanted attention.”

You wanted to make a joke about how such a face would attract a lot of attention but the seriousness in her voice prompted you to let it go.

“Well don’t flatter yourself, Ms Miller,” you corrected yourself, trying to imitate the way she talks. Lou laughs at your antics. You’re such a child but instead of running for the hills, she’s craving you more and more.

“Anyway, do you have plans tonight? Thought maybe since you’re here, we can celebrate.” Lou wanted to smack herself for being unable to resist vomiting her words. She doesn’t do nervous but something about asking you out, platonic or otherwise, feels daunting to her.

“I can’t tonight. I promised Maria and Wanda I’ll be home for dinner,” you said with a frown. “And you know I promised Natasha and Carol we’ll talk too.”

Lou mirrored your frown. Something about you, and Nat, and Carol in one sentence ruin her good mood. “Okay. Some other time, maybe?”

“Now, who can’t get enough of who?” you teased, effectively eradicating the frown on the blonde woman’s face.

“Shut up.”

You laughed. She started laughing too while hailing a cab for you. When the famous yellow car pulled up on the curb next to you, you bid her farewell. You stopped before entering the vehicle to look at her.

“Maybe you can help me warm my new apartment soon.”

It wasn’t a question. It’s an offer, and Lou knows it.

She smiled broadly at you.

“It’s a date,” she said before the yellow taxi rolled you away.

Taglist:  @kaytoopio​​​ @marvelfansince08love​​​ @marvelb00kwolf​​​ @shycucumbersandwich​​​ @subject7creed​​ @inkstainedhandsofgold​

[ssixa]

CHANCE ENCOUNTER//MARK TUAN X Y/N

Description: Walking into the night shift at the hospital proves to keep you on your toes. Nights are left to the universe so you can only hope that tonight will be decent. What happens when you find out that one of your patients is THE Mark Tuan from GOT7? how do you try to deal with the chaos erupting from this chance encounter? and how many times do you have to tell yourself that you love your job?

Genre: fluff, slight cringe

Pairing: Black Fem Reader x Mark Tuan (though I will say there isn’t much description of black characteristics)

Word count: 3.5K

Warning: explicit language

A/n: yay finally a long chapter! glad y’all are enjoying this story! The collage sucks for this one, but it was a struggle lol.

*All pic collages are made by me unless I state otherwise. Individual pictures in the collage are not mine and I give credit to where credit is due.

Chapter Six

~Months Later~

I can’t believe the tour has already kicked off! Especially it being a world tour, the poor boys are going to be so excited and yet exhausted. 

“Yo bitch, whatcha doin this weekend?” I text my best friend y/f/n

“Nothin, probs just going to the bar. Wassup?” She replied 

“Guess who scored us some tickets to a very specific concert that we couldn’t get tickets for?” I send with a smirk

“Biittchhhh you dddiiiddnn’ttttt”

“Bbbiiittcchhhh I dddiiiddd” 

“How the hell did you get Got7 tickets when they’re sold out...what organs did you sell?” She questioned suddenly 

“Let’s just say I met a trustworthy person who was selling them for cheap” I reply not wanting to ruin the surprise

“Fuck it, I don’t want to know, just tell me how much they are later” she sends

“Np” 

“Also we better take some cute ass pics when we’re there, but then again, when do we ever not take cute ass pics” I send 

“Bitch you best believe I’ll look cute, don’t you worry” 

I put my phone away after scrolling through my social medias out of boredom. This weekend can’t come fast enough honestly. Just gotta make it through the work week at my other job. Yet again so many Karen’s coming in and doing what Karen’s do, men fully disregarding what I’m saying because I’m a young black woman; so on and so forth. The week was more busy than I thought because at a blink of an eye it was Saturday aka the day of the Got7 concert! I decided to get dressed at y/f/n’s place since it would be more convenient since she lives closer to the venue.

After getting dressed (and lookin fucking cute, but sexy at the same time) we head to the venue. I direct y/f/n that we should walk towards the ticketing booth in order to pick up the tickets. Luckily the tour and this venue had a common agreement on different ways you can have your tickets and luckily buying and picking up the physical ones at the booth was one option. 

“Ugh I seriously need to find out who got you these tickets! They can be our concert ticket dealer hahaha” y/f/n says

“A girl has her secrets” I give her a wink and keep walking.

We head towards the entrance of the venue and wait in line until doors open. As we do for past concerts, we start conversations with other fans in line. A basic convo of “who’s your bias?”, “what other groups do y’all stan?”, etc. Luckily it makes the time go by faster because before we knew it, doors opened and they started scanning tickets and letting everyone in. We found our seats and saw that some of the fans we made friends with in line were sitting right behind us. We continued our conversation about nothing specific really until I felt my phone vibrate. I looked down and see that Mark messaged me, 

“Y/NNNNNNN!!!!” Mark messaged

“MAAARRRKKKK!!!” I replied 

“I see you”

“Can you please not be creepy”

“Awe but it’s fun! ANYWAYS I can’t believe you’re here I can’t wait to see you!” he replied excitedly 

“I can’t wait to see you either! First time I’m getting to see you performing on stage. I seriously can’t” I quickly reply

“OH RIGHT! I remember why I texted you, check under your chair” he messaged

“You’re making me nervous boy”

“First of all, I’m a man. Second of all, stop being a wimp and look under your chair” he replies back with an eye rolling emoji. 

I decide to give in and squeeze myself on the ground between my chair and the chair in front of me. I feel a little bit around until my hand takes hold of something. I pull it out and it’s an envelope so I open it because what harm is there in opening a mysterious envelope from Mark. When I opened it, I shut it just as quickly, I looked side to side to make sure no one saw, shoved it in my bag, and grabbed my phone. 

“Mark Tuan imma kill you” I message adding a crying emoji

“Am I your favorite member now?” he said with a cute emoji

“Nope, still loyal, but Mark you really didn’t have to do this! VIP BACKSTAGE PASSES”

“How could I not?! You’re one of my friends that I cherish and it’s been so long. The fact that you thought that just attending the concert would be the end of it...I’m hurt” he replies almost sounding a little too butthurt. 

“Fine fine, but you know I love you right! I seriously can’t believe I can even call you a friend, let alone a close friend at that!” I message excitedly 

“I-love you too, you’re seriously someone I didn’t expect to show up in the circumstances they did. Thank goodness you did though, I was on the brink of murdering Yug because he was just calling me by my name. That child has no respect”

“Mark, honey, you’re American, I wouldn’t have guessed you were so serious about that type of stuff” I retorted

“Well I’m used to the way things run so I just want to hit him sometimes, what an annoying brat” he sent. I ended up laughing and y/f/n looked at me curious as to what was so funny on my phone. I quickly hid it, but I already knew she knew something was up. That’s why I was grateful when she didn’t push further because she knows I always end up spilling the tea later.

“That makes sense anyways you see where I am right?” I ask

“Yup, you look pretty” he comments as he always does

“Whatever, you see the girl to the right of me?” 

“Kinda, I can’t really see her face though”

“Oh let me help” I replied. 

“Yo y/f/n let’s take a pic” I get her attention. She turned around and agreed seeing that it wasn’t unusual for us to take pics together, especially at concerts. 

“Ooo these are cute” she comments then turns back around to keep talking to our new friends. 

“See now, cute right?” I text Mark

“Oh yeah~ she’s cute I guess, what about her though?” He replies

“That’s the friend I was telling you about and lucky for you she doesn’t have a solid bias in the group yet” I mention knowing that it would peek his interest. 

“Oh she doesn’t now, well now I’m even more excited to meet her” he comments, with easy excitement detected in his message. 

“Well thanks to you, we all get to meet each other!” I message excitedly 

“You’re very welcome sweetheart, but I gtg my turn to get pretty” he sends

“Lol you’ve always been pretty, but see you later!” 

“Lol bye” he texted lastly. 

I spend the rest of the time before the concert trying to devise how I’m going to keep surprising y/f/n until we reach the boys while still talking to our new friends. I decided that I would say I found these badges in one of the bathroom stalls after going in after a staff member and decided that it would be our ticket into the backstage. Perfect, not only is it a crazy idea, but the prize at the end (her reaction) will be the icing on the cake. I decided to text Mark about the plan and to also tell the manager so when we do get back there we don’t get in actual trouble. He saw my message and sent an emoji making sure I understood he got the message. This made the whole experience even better.  

The lights dimmer and we knew the show was starting. The whole place erupted in screams and chants of “Got7” echoing everywhere. The stage lit up and the boys walked out. I screamed and almost busted a lung at how good the boys looked up there. Mark looking exceptionally nice almost made me forget how much of an idiot he really is. It amazes me how humans can deceive each other so easily by just putting on an act. 

The concert was beyond amazing! I almost forgot while in the middle of the concert how I actually know the boys and consider them my friends. My mind went back to just being a simple ahgase and it being just that. It wasn’t until Mark came to my side of the stage and did some weird thing that I recalled that I actually know this fool personally. Then Mark pointed me out to the other members so once they spotted me they made their rounds to come to my side of the stage and do something that made my whole side scream. One girl in front of me thought that the finger heart from Jackson was for her when it was really meant for me. Poor girl.

The concert went on, screams were loud, fanchants were strong, light stick choreo was on point, the BOYS choreo was definitely on point, and honestly everything was just perfect. In the back of my head I couldn’t wait to finally meet the boys and better yet, be able to get this secret off my chest. I still hadn’t told anyone of me knowing the boys so to be able to tell y/f/n was going to be a load off my chest. It was the end of the concert with the boys concluding it with a classic that is “A.” During one of the chorus point dances JB came to my side of the stage like he had done once or twice before. While Youngjae and him sang the chorus JB never stopped looking me during the certain lyrics

“Ei da aneunde wae jakku sumgyeo

Nega nal joahaneunge imi

Ne eolgure sseuyeoisseo

Ei nareul boda wae nuneul dollyeo

Da aneunde ei e...”

(Translated: “Hey I already know everything so why are you hiding

It’s written all over your face that you like me

Hey why do you look away

I know everything”)

Contradictory to the lyrics, more specifically JB’s verse, I couldn’t look away. Was he confessing...to me? There’s now way. My heart sped up at the thought that my bias, my ult bias at that, has feelings for me! It was hard to get immersed in the rest of the concert with my head getting mixed signals of what JB really did was meant for me or just did it to tease me, not like it would be the first time. We talked a lot over messenger and really clicked, that included him reminding me that he knew that he was my favorite. Yeah I grew legit feelings for him, but my brain rationalized that it wouldn’t make sense for that to ever exist beyond that, but if what he did right now on stage was him confessing to me, maybe...there’s a chance.

It’s just the possibility of him liking me from only talking to me, while my feelings have existed. I need to stop thinking about this because there’s no way

“Y/n just enjoy the rest of the concert” I mumbled to myself. Thank goodness it was loud and dark enough that no one could hear me or see me. 

When the concert ended, y/f/n and I just sat there in utter amazement. We couldn’t believe we just had the chance to witness this and not to mention a relief since it had been so long for Got7 to come back to a city near enough that we could travel. After a moment of shock, I looked at her

“Yo bitch” I said to grab her attention

“What bitch?” She replied, such friendship

“This night ain’t over yet” I commented and signaled for her to look down her face of confusion and shock filled her face

“Y/n how the hell did you get these?!” She whispered yelled to not get much attention to us

“Remember when I went to the bathroom earlier? I guess I used a stall after one of the staff members and they misplaced it there” I commented hoping she would believe the lie

“Y/n you don’t do wild shit like that though, it’s always me” she mentions 

“I know but I’m willing to risk it all because what’s the worst that could happen?” I say hoping to convince her

“Well first we could be black listed by JYP, we would be the new face of sasaengs and last I checked there aren’t many or many in general black sasaengs...that should be enough reasons not to do it” she said.

“Yes, but if it works then we have a high chance of meeting Got7 and think about how much staff they have. What’s the likeliness they would know who we are'' I bring up

“Damn, you making me do dumb bitch shit...fine I’m in” she says. Score. 

We made our way out with most everyone just like normal, but snuck away to a secluded area where security wasn’t looking through. We slipped through a door that led through a hallway that led backstage. Getting backstage we were looked at sideways but everyone was rushing everywhere not paying us any mind (thank goodness their staff was pretty diverse), but I’m surprised no one noticed how different we stick out especially with our outfits. . 

We slip passed another door, we turned around getting stopped in our tracks by the boys’ manager. He wore this scowl on his face and both of us freaked. Then I remembered Mark texted me saying the manager would have eyes around the place so when we sneak in he would know where we were. So when running into him and seeing the scowl I knew he was just faking it and yet it was so believable. He stared us down,

“Now I don’t think I recognize you two” he comments 

“Um well you see” y/f/n starts in a slight panic

“We were given these passes by someone higher up in the company so we just decided to let ourselves in instead of waiting for the person they were going to send” I replied back confidently hoping it sounded believable enough...to y/f/n that is.

“‘Someone higher up huh?’ well who might that be exactly?” he questioned 

“I don’t have to say and you can’t make me” I snap back with a bit of attitude 

“Well if it is like that, I can’t allow you to proceed any further” he snarls back. Wow he’s really into this. JYP should really look into an acting career for this man and if not that give him a raise or something.

“Now if you two ladies could follow me to this room and I’ll get security to come deal with you both” he continued. y/f/n was getting visibly overwhelmed, but thankfully she had her inhaler with her. I hated to see that her reaction was getting that intense, but we were so close.

“Fine” I replied back fake angrily. y/f/n and I follow the manager back to a room that was labeled “Security” on the front. Perfect, everything was going to plan. Mark helped give more detail to my plan and thought to get a sheet of paper and put security to make the plan more believable. What we didn’t know though is under that sheet of paper it actually said “Artists Dressing Room.” It also occurred to me how good the manager's english had gotten. I guess it worked out with my Korean also getting much better as well. Luckily, I told y/f/n that I decided to study Korean again so she didn’t question why I was able to speak so well. She is able to speak pretty well herself, but the intensity of the situation caused her brain to freak out not being able to respond.

Once we reached the door, the manager slowly turned around. We briefly made eye contact and a smirk slightly graced his face. This is it, y/f/n looked like her nerves were a bit calmer, but I was sure to stand behind her in case she passed out. The manager opened the door and stepped to the side, he ushered us in and I gasp really loudly, 

“OMG IT’S GOT7” I exclaim. The boys all shot their heads up from different areas of the room, the sense of panic that graced their face for a few seconds made it even better. That stupid Mark, I guess he didn’t tell the boys of the plan so they must have thought that we were crazed fans who actually snuck in. Once the boys stared in shock for a few more seconds, all the sudden I hear

“y/nnnnn!!!” Mark screamed and dashed from the chair he was lounging in for a hug. I start laughing hysterically when I turn to see y/f/n’s hella confused face. It took me all the strength to try and stop laughing, but eventually I was able to calm down enough to talk,

“SURPRISE BITCH!!” I look to y/f/n and yell, her face still in utter shock and confusion. 

“Hey boys” I wave crazily to the boys who finally have the previous shock go away and have faces grazed with the biggest of smiles.

“y/n, how are you here?!” Youngjae questioned. From my peripheral vision I could see the boys look with beaming eyes mentally waiting for the answer to that same exact question they were all sharing. I look to Mark and comment

“You idiot, you didn’t tell them?” I laugh

“Well seeing you were surprising your friend, I wanted to do the same for the boys” he laughed back. 

“Makes sense, this was worth it though to see their faces” we both started laughing. Mark went on to explain in Korean about the plan we concocted and how we were able to execute it along with the help of the manager and other staff members. The boys nod and I turn to y/f/n explaining everything similarly. 

“I hate you so much right now” y/f/n says but with humor

“Awe but I love you so much” I replied back lovingly

“Mark this is my friend y/f/n I was telling you about before” I turn to Mark and say

“Nice to meet you!” Mark said with a bright smile

“Nice to meet you too” y/f/n replied back slightly shyly but still with slight confidence. Mark directs us to go and sit down on the chair that was previously occupied by him and Jackson. We all took a seat while BamBam, Yug, and JB were getting their makeup taken off and getting dressed in more comfier clothing behind a panel. 

“This is crazy that we’re finally getting to meet you y/n though it feels like we’ve been friends for ages’ Jackson speaks up.

“I know right! It’s still surreal that we’re all pretty good friends given we’ve never met physically...well except for Mark that is” 

“Wait how do you even know Mark...like how the hell did that even happen?” y/f/n speaks up. The boys looked at each other surprised that she didn’t know even though Mark and I had been talking for months. I look to Mark to see if it was fine to tell her given that he’s not one of my patients anymore, but still it would be illegal and immoral to start spilling unless allowed. He gives me the go ahead and I turn back to y/f/n and explain to her how it came to be. From all the stupid stuff he said to getting to talk to the boys over facetime, nothing was left unturned. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing and how lucky I was to have a chance encounter like this. 

“Wow you really lived the ‘y/n’ life right now huh?” She commented

“I’m just glad I was able to get it off my chest, it was really hard trying to keep this a secret for that long” I laughed 

“But why now, like how long you think you would’ve held it in if they didn’t have a tour?” she questioned

“Honestly I was close to just spilling everything, but luckily the tour was announced. You can also thank Mark for the free tickets and passes by the way” I laughed. y/f/n looked at Mark and had no other way of phrasing words than to say thank you multiple times

“It’s no problem at all, your reaction was priceless though! It made it worth it in the end” he laughed.

I sit there looking at my surroundings amazed this is actually happening. Mark irritatingly asked y/f/n to tell him stories of stupid shit I’ve done in the past because I refused to tell him. y/f/n went along I’m guessing as payback for the stupid stunt I pulled with this whole encounter. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to put those two together because now Jackson is listening in and I guess so is BamBam from the makeup chair because I can hear him laughing along with everyone else at some part of the story that I don’t even remember (I must have been drunk...whoops). Even then, I don’t think anything could top this moment…

Now I have to figure out why JB has been avoiding interactions with me since y/f/n and I walked in. 

Previous/Next

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober day 5: Old

For Day 5’s challenge, I brought back what I believe to be my first trans character haha. This will start as cringe plz bear with me. Im copy pasting the Quickie I had planned for a post in my writing blog.

PunchLine: Quickie Summary

Just suddenly grew nostalgic of this story lol. Notes before delving into the plot:

-        I literally started this story’s concept when I was in 5th – 6th grade and first watched Ouran High School Host Club. My kid brain was mad at Haruhi for not taking advantage of her passing as a boy so I made what started as a self-insert oc that gradually transformed into my first trans character ever. Whack, lol.

-        Just a side thing, most of my damn stories have playlists and I swear, All Time Low/All American Rejects songs are exclusively this story’s official soundtrack.

-        The main character’s name is super…. Wow lol. Please bear with me I might change it, just… this was a story I started making when I was 11 and really liked ‘unique’ names instead of conventional ones >X,,D

-        Please have mercy on my tiny weeb soul.

Lolol ok, plot start naw. Keep in mind I was very influenced by anime at this point of my life so I started this in a stereotypical Japanese setting but made it more Americanized over the years. Big oof.

Protagonist (I called em Echo lol) is a hella poor girl living pretty much by herself in a shitty apartment. Her aunt is her caretaker but she’s never home and she doesn’t work. Echo has to work a job herself to make money for food. She has a quiet personality, long, terrible hair with split ends everywhere, and a boxy frame. She works doing lots of manual labor, adding to her poor health.

Because she’s always been quiet, no one knows who she really is. She’s just ‘that poor girl who never talks’,  and they mostly leave her alone. One particularly shitty night however, after getting fired without her pay, she gets caught by some hotshot popular dude and his cronies with her work uniform on. Kids aren’t supposed to work. He takes a picture and threatens to turn her in if she doesn’t follow him. He’s just looking for some easy fun with a docile girl he can make do anything. She’s done being docile.

In true anime fashion she beats the hell out of these dudes, trash talking them the entire time. She’s merciless, bashing them all black and blue until they pass out. Only once everyone but the main instigator is down does she take his phone. “I have back-ups!” The boy exclaims through broken teeth. She looks at him and posts the image onto his feed herself. She’s done going to school anyways. She destroys the phone, laughing, and he loses consciousness. She gets up and dusts herself off.

She had a spectator. Some dude had watched the whole thing from his fancy car. He thinks he could use someone like her.

The following week goes as expected. She’s expelled. Her aunt came to act as a concerned guardian in front of the school but left immediately after. She took Echo’s savings. Echo is laying in her mattress on the floor, pretty much wishing to be dead when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

Oh boy. It’s the spectator dude with two other boys (one of em may end up being cut lol). He has a proposition. She join their prestigious team from some fancy school for something (idk I initially had her join a mob lol but these kids are still in highschool. Maybe their fighting club?) and they’ll pay for her tuition and living expenses. But there’s a catch. The team is boys-only and she has to crossdress. She signs up immediately anyways lol. From now on, she will live as a boy (so I will use he/him pronouns).

Hmm… mayhaps the reason Echo has such a ‘unique’ name is because he chose it himself. Like the edgy teen he is. Cries.

Echo packs his stuff and goes with em. He hears the specifics about his new group. Eric is the leader, who’s father founded the group. He clearly puts on an aura of being tough and in control, but his delivery is too forced. The spectator dude that found Echo is his co-leader, a guy who actually knows what he’s doing, but doesn’t want to overthrow Eric because he thinks it’s funny seeing him struggle. He is a dick lol. Depending on whether or not I’ll use him, the third dude is Eric’s best friend from childhood meant to be the soft one who helps Echo settle at first.

Moving on, I don’t have a coherent timeline of events, just scattered things that will happen. For sure, Eric and Echo keep butting heads, mostly because Eric tries to control Echo and the group as a whole too much, and Echo is like ‘dude, your demanding for perfection only makes me want to screw things up more to show you how unhealthy your expectations are. And also cuz youre cute when you’re mad.’

Eric has a legacy to live up to. He’s the classic worrywart trying to live up to an image and failing. Echo was brazen at first with his trying to mess Eric up, but he softens as he realizes how much it effects Eric. They eventually hear eachother out and come to a compromise. That’s the start of their friendship.

Then, a year later, comes Kimmie. She’s Eric’s childhood crush. She’s short, she’s plump, and she has a rude attitude. Eric’s been a simp for her since he was a kid. He tries way too hard to make her see him as a romantic partner; she’s the reason he grew out his hair when he heard her casually mention she likes it long.

What’s his reason for liking her so much? When they were kids, Eric was plump too, but unlike with her, kids would pick on him because he always just took it. She defended him a lot, and her fiery personality mixed with her ability to hit kids and get away with it made her feared. He idolized her ever since.

She reacts to this as well as you’d imagine a childhood crush staying just a crush is handled. Meaning she clearly sets up walls around him and tells him he’s not interested. Echo, however, catches her eye.

After a P.E session, Kimmie follows Echo to his usual changing place and catches him with his top off. Kimmie knew Echo was a ‘girl.’ Kimmie explains she had seen Echo before his transition. Echo laughs it off, finding her brazenness cute. “So what now? You wanna tell the school?” “… I require you for something actually…”

Kimmie is dating Echo now. Eric is devastated. Kimmie flaunts Echo around like a trophy, breaking many girl’s hearts that had previously asked him out. Echo has to follow her around as a part of their deal, but he doesn’t mind it. The more he learns about her, the more he likes her.

Eric tries to confront him about it along with his friends. Eric’s approach is…. Well… “You’re faking this, right? You don’t like girls, you’re not really a boy!” “Dude, I like what I like. Deal with it.” This response further punches Eric in the gut as everyone laughs nervously.

Some big event comes and Echo is Kimmie’s plus one. Eric doesn’t want to attend it so he stays in the mansion. Echo is feeling the guilt of the situation more with each day that passed. At the event, him and Kimmie have a great time, but when they escape the crowd and are alone, she tries for a kiss. Echo doesn’t proceed. Kimmie is disappointed, but Echo explains.

“I know the real reason you wanted to date me. It’s the same reason you touch my chest so much, why you wanted to see me in a dress, and why you told Eric you like long hair. Kimmie, you like girls.” He steps away from her. “And I can’t be your girlfriend in disguise.”

Kimmie is floored. She begins to cry. Echo is right. She’s a lesbian but she never wanted to accept it. She kept telling herself she’d find the right boy, and when Echo came, it felt so perfect. She thought she could just slip in and pretend that she was straight. But she isn’t.

She apologizes. She says, however, that she truly does like Echo now. Echo sighs and rubs their neck. “You can’t like me Kimmie… I’m not…” Kimmie thinks it through. “But… you were a girl before! The only reason you’re dressed like this is because of the contract!” “Yeaaaah… but I kinda like it now. This feels…. Better. More me.” Echo grins with confidence. “I’m a man now.”

Kimmie takes Echo’s figure in and sighs. “Ew. I can’t be date a man.” They laugh and break up, Echo going back home. Kimmie returns to the party and is spotted by one of Eric’s friends. He asks where Echo is and she tells him everything. Echo is going home, him and Kimmie just broke up. The friend tells Kimmie some comforting words before running away to the hall to call Eric and tell him the good news. Kimmie is available again, and he can be more aggressive this time!

Eric is slumped in the couch after binging Netflix and eating a pint of icecream. When he hears the news, his mind is stuck on only one piece of information. Echo is coming back home. Instead of feeling happy about Kimmie being available again, Eric realizes Echo is coming back after a break up. His worrywart tendencies has him picturing a comedically sobbing Echo, ruthlessly broken up with by Kimmie, wondering how he could continue to live without her. He cleans up the couch and by the time Echo enters, he’s saved him a spot on the couch and his own pint of icecream. Echo laughs but sits right beside him, accepting the comfort, even if Eric doesn’t know the full story. They have a nice night together, and by the morning, Kimmie’s sexuality is revealed thanks to a picture she posted in her social media celebrating with a girl she kissed.

She’s officially out and happier for it. Eric congratulates her when they run into eachother in the hallway. She’s surprised he’s not as sad as she expected him to be, but she’s touched by how genuinely kind he’s being to her. They stay friends, and even get closer thanks to Kimmie now putting her walls down again.

Movin on to another story event, Eric’s mom has been away for most of Echo’s stay, but she comes back. Eric has made it clear that Echo should stay away from her, and never let her know his transition. She somehow finds out thanks to some mishaps anyways. When the contract is revealed, she is ASTOUNDED that her boy would force a GIRL to live as a MAN. She’s putting a stop to this! She takes Echo away for a weekend spa treatment, girling Echo up, talking over him through the whole thing, never listening to his complaints and only reassuring herself that Echo is safe now and free to be pretty and feminine once more! It’s the proper way!

Needless to say Echo is uncomfortable.

The more Eric’s mom talks about herself and her own life, it’s clear that her way of thinking stems from some issues she had as a kid, being forced to work and to give up feminine things, but Echo doesn’t feel like she did at all. And though Echo enjoys some of the spa things, and doesn’t much mind being put in a dress, he just… prefers a suit. Would rather stay at home training with the group. Would rather keep his hair short as opposed to the length Eric’s mom proposes him to grow it at. It’s a bunch of little things, but they culminate in solidifying to Echo… he just wants to stay a boy. He’s not being forced to be one. He genuinely likes it.

When they return from their trip, Echo is in a skirt and heels. He is dolled up with professional make up and styled hair. The group ogles him, but as comments get thrown around about how good Echo looks as a girl, Eric can’t feel the same. He just feels it’s too… off. He doesn’t bring it up, he’s afraid he’ll hurt Echo’s feelings. All his mom’s mutterings got to him, and Eric feels guilty for forcing Echo to live as a man. 

During dinner, he reassures his mom and Echo that they can get rid of the contract and Echo can live in their house and attend their school clause free.

Echo stops him right there.

“I don’t want to be a girl. I’m a boy.”

Eric and his mom are confused. They try to reassure Echo, but Echo continues. “No. No offence ma’am, but all weekend, you have talked over me, never listening to what I have to say. I don’t want to be a girl. I am not like you. I do not share your experiences nor your desires. I like being a boy. I like being called a boy. I like dressing like a boy. I want to be known as a boy.”

Echo gets up.

“I’m going to go change now. But before I go, I want to keep the contract. I have no problem with any of the conditions.” Echo looks at Eric and smiles. “I like being a part of the group and competing with you guys.” He’s flustered by his sincerity. Echo leaves. For the rest of the day, Echo is unbothered in his room, but when night comes, Eric goes up to bring him some food.

Echo didn’t really wash off the make up very good (damn that high quality stuff), and his hair is a mess. But he’s in comfortable clothes and he brings in Eric so they can hang. They talk about trivial stuff at first, spend an hour playing a game, and when it’s 3am, Eric gathers the guts to talk about it. That he’s glad Echo stood up for himself, and he sees him as a boy too. Echo bursts into laughter, teasing Eric.

“So that’s what you were so nervous about. I thought you were planning to ask me on a date.” More flustered Eric. “W-Why would I-“ Echo gives him a half hug that stops him, hiding his own blushing face. “Thanks…” Eric hugs him back. It’s yet another sweet moment before they finally get together…. In some other event in the future mwahahaha. Idk, I haven’t decided yet when they confess and actually start going out ;p cries.

Welp, there ya go. This is a story I still cringe at because of how anime it starts but damn these chars got me. I love Echo, Eric and Kimmie ;o; I’m sorry I’m a sucker v-v

[lovemesomesurveys]

Did 2015 just fly by to you? I probably did feel that way. I usually do when looking back on each year. The only things I really remember about 2015 is graduating UC and hanging out with Ty.

Do you like platform shoes? No. I couldn’t wear them anyway.

How much black is in your wardrobe? Most of my wardrobe is black. 

Are you supposed to be doing something else? Nah, this is what I like doing at this time of night as part of my nighttime routine.

If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? I’d like finish watching this show my mom and I have been watching and check out the first two episodes of the new season of another show. 

Did you have a good holiday season? I did.

Anything special planned for today? Nope.

Who do you really trust in your life? My family.

What do you think about Justin Bieber? I like some of his music.

Do you wish you could change the past? Not entirely, but there’s a lot I wish I could change.

What is your hot drink of choice? Coffeeee.

Do you own a gun? No.

Have you ever cracked your cell phone screen? Not my current phone, but in the past I have. I haven’t had that happen in years, though.

Have your pants ever fallen down in public? No.

If you had to delete one year of your life, which year would it be? I wouldn’t want to delete an entire year. I’d like to change things that happened in various years, though.

What is your favorite article of clothing you own? All of them, which is why I have them.

How late do you usually stay up? Until like 7 or 8AM. :X

What is your favorite Christmas song? I love all the classics.

What all have you had to eat today? It’s only 4AM and so far I’ve just had ramen. 

If your entire life was a movie, what would it be called? I don’t know.

Blue or green? I like various shades of both.

What's your current least favorite song? *shrug* I haven’t been listening to music lately.

Do you know how to play chess? Nope.

What is something the world needs less and more of in your opinion? We need more unity and less stupidity and hatred.

Do you know someone who is just so breathtakingly attractive? Alexander Skarsgard.

How hard is it for you to open up to others? I have a really hard time with that. Even with people I am close to.

What is something that has really impacted your life? My physical disability for sure as well as health issues.

Quick! Chinese or Mexican? Hm. It honestly depends what food I’m in the mood for. I do have Mexican more often. I enjoyed both a lot more when I could eat spicy stuff, but I can’t anymore. :(

How many significant others have you had in your WHOLE life? I’ve only had one, technically. We had the relationship title, anyway. It didn’t feel like one, though. What I had with Joseph felt closer to one in a lot of ways, but we never officially dated. 

I have to ask: What does the last text you received say? My dad asked me to do something.

How about the last text you sent? I asked my mom if she could grab me something while she was at the store.

Have you shared any kisses today? No.

Did the last person you kissed have soft lips, or were they kind of crusty? They were soft.

Do you think your life will be any different a year from now? For the past few years nothing seems to change each passing year, but that’s largely my own doing. Not in a good way, anyway. There have been bad changes.

What is in your wallet? Credit cards.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nope.

When was the last time you went to the doctor? This past Tuesday. 

Are you going out of town anytime soon? Nope.

Do you hate your ex? No.

When are you going to get a haircut? I have no idea.

Can you fit your hand around your wrist? Yes. 

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes.

When was the last time you applied chapstick? I don’t remember.

Are you a coffee person or a tea person? Coffee all the way.

Do you have a weird laugh? *shrug*

Do you have videos on YouTube? I do, but they’re all private and will never see the light of day again.

When’s the last time you had a phone conversation for more than ten minutes? I don’t remember. I rarely talk on the phone and when I do they’re very brief conversations.

Do you laugh at inappropriate times? No.

What’s your fast food restaurant of choice? The ones I go to are Chick-fil-A, Carl’s Jr, Jack in the Box, and McDonald’s. I haven’t been eating fast food much lately, though.

All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with? D, G, and J.

Are you in any kind of pain right now? Yes.

Are you the jealous type? I can be, but I haven’t felt that way in years.

What did you and your ex fight about most? Our issue was definitely lack of/poor communication. 

Do you have a foot phobia? I’m not afraid of feet, but I hate them lol. No one should even think about trying to put their feet on me or near me. I hate mine, too.

Well, are you a germaphobe? I don’t share drinks or eat off someone’s food or utensil or anything like that or want them to do that to mine. I’ll gladly cut off a piece and share or pour some out for ya. 

Don’t you love long hugs? From certain people.

And long kisses? Yes.

Have you ever purchased condoms? No.

Do you have a dirty mind? Sometimes.

What’s your favorite soda? I don’t drink soda anymore, but Coke and Dr. Pepper were my favorites.

Do you check the mail everyday, or somebody else? I personally don’t, but someone in my family does.

Did you think braces were cool when you were little? No.

Do you ever go without makeup or doing your hair? I haven’t worn makeup in almost 4 years and I just throw my hair up in a messy bun all the time. I also admittedly don’t brush it everyday.

Put your iTunes on shuffle RIGHT NOW and tell me the first song it plays. I don’t use iTunes and I don’t feel like opening Spotify right now.

What was the last song you added to your iTunes library? I forget the last song I added to my Spotify.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs in your iTunes? I’m not embarrassed by any of the songs on my Spotify.

When was the last time you were sick? Back in October.

Did you get anybody else sick? No, it wasn’t contagious.

What brand is your camera? I just use my phone, which is an iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Do you like raisins? Yeah. Chocolate covered raisins, especially. ha. Who was your Valentine this year? I won’t have one.

When did you first kiss the last person you kissed? March 2011.

And when did you last kiss the last person you kissed? Sometime in 2013.

Did you borrow that shirt from somebody? Nope, it’s mine.

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My medicine.

Do you like to swim? No.

How many vacations have you been on in the past year? My last vacay was last February a month before COVID hit and everything shut down. It’s crazy how fast everything changed and everything that has happened since then. We had no idea what was coming. I’m glad we happened to take a nice vacation when we did cause who knows when the next one will be. 

Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m single, but no I never have in the past.

Are you supposed to be doing homework, young man/lady? Nopeee, I’m done with school.

Do you have to wake up early tomorrow? Nope.

Do you have any prescriptions currently? Yes.

Are you upset about anything? Bleh.

Where was the last place you went that you hadn't been to before? The OC.

Who was the last member of the opposite sex to make you smile? My brother.

Who was the last attractive person you saw? I see Alexander Skarsgard on my dash all the time. 

Do you have a friend whose name begins with "C"?

Is there anything happening in the next week that you're looking forward to? New episodes of some shows I’m watching to come out.

How many people have you kissed whose name starts with "R"? Zero.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? It’s been a few years. 

When was the last time you were invited to go somewhere and you declined? The other day my mom asked me if I wanted to tag along for the ride with her while she ran some errands, but I declined.

The last time you saw your best friend, what were they wearing? She was wearing a black shirt with Maleficent on it that I got her for Christmas.

How did you meet the person you're currently interested in? I’m not interested in anyone romantically right now.

What was the last gift you received and who gave it to you? Various Christmas presents from my family.

When was the last time you drank alcohol and what was the occasion? My birthday back in 2013.

You've got an unread message on Facebook; who do you want it to be from? There isn’t anyone in particular. 

What if the person you miss walked into the room right now? The people I miss have passed away, so...

Are you still with the person you fell the hardest for and if not, do you still speak to them? Nope.

What was the last song that made you cry and what does the song talk about? I don’t remember.

If you're in a relationship, how long have you been together? I’m single.

If you're single, are you looking for a relationship? No.

Look around the room; what's the closest blue object? My back pillow.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No.

How old were your parents when they met? They were in their early and mid 20s.

Who was the last person you added to your phone's contacts? I don’t recall.

What's a song that reminds you of someone you miss? Everlong (the acoustic version) by Foo Fighters.

What's the most expensive item you've bought recently? It was an accumulation of things when I was doing my Christmas shopping.

Who're the last three people you hugged? My mom, dad, and doggo. 

What's the third song on your iTunes "most played" list?

What exactly is on your mind at this moment? I’m tired.

What is it that makes you awesome? Nothing.

What is today’s date? January 16, 2021.

What time is it? 4:55AM.

At this moment in time, is there anything worrying you, that no one else knows about? Yes.

Have you ever cried in front of the last person you texted? Countless times.

What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I’m watching an ASMR video.

Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? Yes. I read and study the Bible. I participate in Bible studies. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? I’ve felt that way a lot.

How old are you? 31.

When do you start school? I’m done with school.

Do thunder and storms scare you? I love ‘em. We have had a thunderstorm here in so long it feels like.

How often would you say you take naps? Not that often since I usually sleep in until like 5PM. And not to say I couldn’t still take a nap cause I could (I’m always tired), but I wouldn’t want to so late in the day.

How many times in your life have you held a baby? Many times. I have a younger brother and I also have held several of my cousins when they were babies.

Do you like country music? Yeah.

What were you doing at 7:45 this morning? It’s only 5AM, but I’ll most likely be asleep or attempting to.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I haven’t done so yet today, but I’m always like “ew.” I avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible.

Do you look decent when you wake up? No. Or ever.

Do you like to cuddle? I don’t have much cuddling experience to be honest, but sure.

Were you single on your last birthday? Yes.

Do you have any candles in your room? I do. I never light candles, so I’m not really sure why I have one any, but *shrug*

How long does it take you in the shower? Like 30-45 minutes.

Relationship between you and the last person you texted? She’s my mom.

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty? I feel guilty about a few things.

Are you currently looking forward to anything? Just new episodes of some of the shows I watch like I mentioned before and new shows in general. There’s a lot coming out this year.

What are two foods you think only taste good with whipped cream? Uhh. I can’t think of any that I think only taste good with whipped cream. 

If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? When it’s in the form of meatballs (mixed with sausage, garlic, onion, and herbs).

What foods go good with radishes? Don’t they commonly go in salads?

Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. I do wish I was taller, though.

Did your last significant other have a huge temper? No.

Do you usually close the door with your feet or with your hands? My hands.

Are you a fussy eater? I am a picky eater and due to appetite and other issues I’m very particular about what I eat and how it’s prepared and all that. I honestly only eat the same few foods.

Do you enjoy visiting your grandparents? Yes.

Is your hair hard to manage? For me it is. I don’t have the energy or motivation for it.

Have you ever shopped online? I do a lot of online shopping, especially the past few years. Even more so this past year alone due to COVID.

Do you prefer gold or silver? I like both.

What about diamonds or pearls? Both.

Have you ever had surgery? I’ve had several.

Have you ever eaten at Chik-fil-a? Yeah, many times.

Do you spray tan? Nope.

How many hours of sleep would you say you got last night? About 5ish. 

How many aunts and uncles do you have? 3 aunts, 8 uncles. 

Would you say your life is hard? It is for me.

Are your fingernails, and toenails painted, if so, what color? Nope, neither of them are.

Would you ever think about doing porn? No.

What did your last text message you received on your cell say? My dad asked me to do something.

What is something you need to go shopping for? Nothing at the moment.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Twenty-Nine: Watermelon ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto ] [ SasuHina, NaruSaku, pregnancy ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Watermelon isn’t exactly something Sasuke’s really considered when it isn’t Summer. To him, it’s a mysterious fruit that only exists when the sun is shining and the temperature is enough to melt your shoes to the sidewalk if you don’t walk quickly enough. Otherwise, it’s like a cryptid: you swear you saw it once, but only when it wants you to.

But, he’s got a bit of a dilemma on his hands. You see, Sasuke is married. Newly so...sort of. It’s been about a year and a half. And Hinata - his wife, his darling, his missing piece - is about three months pregnant.

And she is craving watermelon.

...in the dead of Winter.

At first, he gives her a confused blink. “...how am I supposed to find watermelon now? It’s too cold.”

Sipping her tea, it’s Hinata turn to look befuddled. “...I’m...pretty sure there’s imports from further south. Where do you think all the other f-fruits come from, Sasuke?.”

He then proceeds to feel like a massive idiot. A faint hint of red tinges the tips of his ears. “Er...right. I’ll just…” He gestures. “I’ll run to the store, see if I can find some.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything else you’ve been craving lately? I’ll try to get a few things in case you change your mind.”

Her lips pout. “I haven’t been that bad, have I…?”

“Not really, but if I’m gonna go…”

She sighs. “...peanut butter. Cucumber. And...pretzels.”

“...all right then. Do we need anything else?”

“Check the list on the fridge. I’ve been t-trying to keep track.”

“Got it. Text me if you think of anything else, okay?”

“I will!”

Lifting from his seat, Sasuke takes a moment to press lips to the crown of her head, making a pitstop in the kitchen for the list before heading out to the car. Thankfully the list of necessities (even counting Hinata’s goodies) isn’t too long. Shouldn’t take him too much time to zip in, cross them all off, and then head home.

Simple, right?

Pulling into the parking lot, Sasuke double checks the list. Most is written in Hinata’s bubbly, tidy handwriting, with his own scratchy scrawl adding her little addendum for pregnancy snacks. Phone, wallet, and keys in his pockets, he leaves the vehicle behind and heads in.

It’s a bit busy, but thankfully not too crowded. A cart’s grabbed, wheeling it through all the proper aisles. By now, he’s more than familiar with the place’s layout. He’s been coming here since he was a kid with his mom, after all.

Last, he hits up the produce section.

The little sprinklers give the coolers a spritz, but that’s not where Sasuke’s headed. The little pre-packaged bits of melon are stupidly expensive compared to a whole one by the pound. Sure, it’s all a bit high given the season, but he can’t not get what Hinata wants. She’s currently in the middle of letting an entire new person take up residency in her middle. The least he can do is shell out a few extra bucks to help make that a bit more bearable.

Approaching the melons in question, he flicks eyes between them all. Some are long and thin, some are stout and plump. Is there...any difference? Tentatively, he picks up one of the rounder fruits, and...gives it a tap.

...he really doesn’t know what it’s supposed to sound like, though. He just knows everyone does that.

Sasuke gives his surroundings a furtive glance. Thankfully no one is watching him… This is the last thing he needs to get, and he doesn’t want any weird looks for his attempts to find a decent melon.

“Hey! Sasuke!”

...oh, great.

Pulling up alongside his friend’s cart, none other than Naruto gives a grin. “Bit out of season for that, huh?”

“...Hinata wants one,” the Uchiha explains a bit flatly.

“Ohhh...cravings, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Man, I know how that goes...Sakura’s been ordering me around to get her all sorts of stuff lately! It wouldn’t be so rough if she didn’t get so grumpy about it.”

Sasuke can’t help a small scoff. “Hormones making her temper even worse than usual?”

“Oh man, you have no idea!” After a pause to glance around as though fearing she’ll appear behind him, Naruto leans forward and whispers, “She went on a huge rant this morning cuz I left the toilet seat up! I’ve done that for ages, but all of a sudden it’s like I insulted her mother or something!”

The Uchiha’s nose wrinkles. “...you leave the toilet seat up?”

“I - what? Are you gonna scold me now, too?”

“...you ever try to sit on a toilet when the seat is up? Not fun. But still...yeah, the hormones can be a killer. I take it you’re on a mission to make up for it, now?”

“Ugh, yeah...that and restock on her current craving…” Reaching into his cart, Naruto pulls up a jar, looking disgusted. “Green olives. That’s so gross!”

“They’re not that bad.”

“Says you! Your favorite food is a vegetable, you can’t be trusted.”

“Technically, a tomato is a fruit.”

“Whatever!” The blond replaces the jar with a sigh. “Every time she eats some, her breath smells so rank! And if I tell her, she gets mad again! I even got her some breath mints, and she got all offended!”

“You just don’t know how to read people, Naruto. Especially women.”

“Hey man, I’m trying my best! I just can’t wait until she has this kid and goes back to normal...she might be grumpy most of the time, but nothing like this…!”

Sasuke sighs, giving his friend a sympathetic smile.

“What about you? Any disasters yet?”

“Well, she hasn’t gotten angry at anything.”

“Really?”

“No. But she cries at the drop of a hat. She stepped on a bug on the kitchen floor the other day and sobbed about it for like fifteen minutes.”

“Whoa…”

“I mean, Hina’s always been a softie. But it’s like Sakura’s temper: cranked up to eleven. Which hasn’t been so bad, but man...seems like every time I turn around she’s crying about something. She even sulked all day last Wednesday because I only said I loved her once before I left for work. And she was still mopey when I got home! Took me forever to get her to tell me why.”

At that, Naruto laughs out loud. “Wow, yeah...that’s pretty bad, dude. But I think I’d trade you any day of the week. Tears aren’t as bad as shouting and glaring…”

“Sorry, no exchanges on wives. I’m pretty happy with what I’ve got, tears and all. You got yourself into that temper trap.”

The Uzumaki sighs with a pout. “Yeah, yeah...I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s great. Smart, and funny, and sassy! And don’t even get me started on the se-”

“Don’t go there, please.”

“I just wish she’d chill out sometimes. But then again...I think my volume gets on her nerves. Guess we’ve all got something that drives people crazy, huh?”

Sasuke blinks. In all honesty...not much comes to mind when he tries to come up with something Hinata does that bugs him. Now he wonders if she’d say the same about him…

“Anyway, uh...guess I’ll leave you to your melon picking, huh?”

“What? Oh...yeah.”

“Here...lemme see…” Taking the fruit, Naruto puts it to his ear and thumps. “...yup! That’s a good one!”

“...how can you tell?”

“I dunno, I just...know! Trust me, she’ll love it. Better get it back to her before she starts sobbin’, huh?” The blond gives a cheeky grin before waving. “Later!”

At a bit of a loss, Sasuke glances down to the watermelon before just...putting it in the cart. Naruto better be right about this…

One stint in the check out line later, and he’s loading up the bags to head for home. Everything’s been crossed off his list, and it’s only been about half an hour. Hopefully Hinata’s all right...and her craving hasn’t changed.

“Hinata?” he calls, juggling the bags and the door handle.

“Coming!” She quickly joins him, taking a bag or two and shutting the door. “That was quick!”

“Was it?”

“Mhm!”

“Oh...ran into Naruto at the store. Stopped and had a chat.”

“Oh, that was nice! Did he know anything interesting?”

“Eh, not really...he was on craving-food duty, too.”

She makes a sound of understanding. “Poor Sakura...she’s been having really bad leg c-cramps the last few days. It’s made her a bit, um...short-tempered, seems like. I was talking to her this morning.”

“...oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“...you doing okay?”

“Oh, yes! I’m fine.”

“...all right. Let me know if that changes, all right?”

“...Sasuke…?”

“Just want to be sure you’re comfortable.”

There’s a pause, and then tears well up in Hinata’s eyes, lip trembling. “Y...you’re so sweet…!”

Aw, jeez… “Look, uh...let’s get stuff put away, and I’ll cut open your watermelon.”

“Okay!” Immediately chipper again, Hinata beams, carrying said melon into the kitchen. “I’ve been looking forward to this a-all day!”

After a pause, Sasuke just snorts. So much fuss over one little melon...

                                                          .oOo.

     This is...super random xD I honestly was at a loss as to what to write for this one, so uh...this is very much out of thin air. idk how pregnancy cravings really work, so hopefully this isn't too unbelievable lol      Poor boys, running around keeping their ladies happy x3 But it'll all be worth it in the end, tears and tempers and all, haha!      Anyway, it's sups late and I've got stuff to do yet, so that's all from me! Thanks for reading~

[badchoicesposts]

Don’t Dream It’s Over Chapter 3

Series Summary: Liam and Ali thought that their relationship was perfect, but their whole world came crashing down when Constantine called him back to Cordonia. Four years later they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party, determined to make things between them work even if it isn’t always easy.

In this AU, Liam and MC (Ali Moonessar) dated for a year in New York while Leo was still crown prince. They broke up when Constantine asked Liam to come back to Cordonia, but they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party before the social season. The story will contain flashbacks, which will be italicized, of their relationship and follow them as they try to navigate the season with Ali as a suitor. I’ve messed around with the timeline a bit so that it fits the story better. I’ve also added in a few OCs of my own.

Pairing: Liam x MC (Ali Moonessar)

Word Count: 2,752

Taglist: @flowerpowell, @timmagicktoad, @kingliam2019, @ao719, @emceesynonymroll, @hopefulmoonobject, @dcbbw, @qammh-blog

If you would like to be added to the tag list let me know!

A/N: In this chapter you’ll get to learn a bit more about Ali’s family. 

This is my first time ever posting a fic. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and would like to read more. I thrive on validation, lol. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Ali had spent time in Drake and Liam’s apartment before. She spent most of her time there if she was being honest. She was lucky that Drake liked her enough to tolerate her presence there as much as he did. However, she had never really spent much time in the apartment alone. One of them was almost always there with her. 

She let herself into their apartment, looking around as she waited for Liam to come home from work. It was strange to be here without either of them. This place had been a second home to her for the past six months, but without Liam, it seemed big, cold and empty. Ali kicked off her shoes and made her way into Liam’s room. She dropped down onto his large bed, the soft mattress relaxing her muscles and alleviating some of the ever present pain in her lower back. 

Her eyes began to close as she gave into the drowsiness that had overtaken her body. However, the peaceful moment was interrupted as a sudden chill went up her spine, and she immediately shot up in bed. A soft scratching noise seemed to be coming from inside the walls, and the lights above her head flickered. She looked around the room frantically for a moment before the scratching noise chased her out to the living room, where she waited impatiently for her boyfriend to come home. 

When Liam arrived he saw Ali curled up on the couch, the decorative throw blanket pulled up over her head. Even though he had sat with her and calmed her down, it was obvious that he thought she was being ridiculous. He had laughed at the suggestion that what happened had anything to do with the supernatural universe and simply went to change the light bulb. Ali had the same experience several times after that night. Each time a chill would run up her spine before she heard the scratching noise and saw the lights flicker. Each time she had felt a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, and each time Liam had blamed it on faulty wiring or old light bulbs.

This time, however, Liam was lying in bed next to Ali when it happened. His face had been buried in her neck, and as he began to press gentle kisses to the skin there, the lights flickered. She jumped out of his arms as the scratching began and looked at him pointedly. 

“There’s a fucking ghost in your bedroom,” she said, almost hysterical at this point as she watched Liam look around the room with furrowed eyebrows. 

“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this,” he said calmly, attempting to pull her back down next to him.

She pulled her arm away from him and placed her hands on her hips. 

“There is no logical explanation for this,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm around the word ‘logical’. “You have to move.”

Liam began to chuckle as he looked at the girl fondly. He stood up and walked over to her, wrapping her up in his strong arms. As his body enveloped her much smaller one, she could feel his chest vibrating with laughter.

“Don’t laugh at me!” she said angrily, her words muffled as she spoke against his bare skin. 

“Sweetheart, I promise you there’s no ghost,” he said, trying to hold back his laughter, as to not frustrate her further. 

“Then why does that keep happening?” she asked, turning her head to look up at him. 

Liam brushed one of her dark curls out of her face and kissed her forehead gently. 

“I promise I’ll talk to the landlord, and we’ll figure it out,” he said softly. 

Ali pulled herself out of his arms and made her way back over to the bed.

“You won’t figure it out because it’s a goddamn ghost,” she grumbled under her breath, pulling the covers up around her.

Two strong arms pulled Ali backwards, and she crashed into a hard chest. She looked up to see Bastien holding her close and reaching to grab Liam’s arm as well. Another member of the royal guard pushed his way in front of the two of them, stopping the reporters from getting too close. Bastien kept one arm wrapped protectively around her small frame, and his other hand rested on Liam’s back as he guided them towards the hotel. His jaw was clenched, and as the three of them rode the elevator back up to their floor in an awkward silence, Ali could tell he was extremely agitated. 

The rest of the guys from last night were all lounging around the sitting area of Liam’s room when they entered. They were each nursing their own hangover, but could easily tell that something was wrong as a negative energy entered with them. Maxwell looked over at them from where he was smothering jam on a piece of toast. The look of hope that was on his face from seeing them enter together quickly disappeared. 

Bastien paced up and down the length of the room, and for a few minutes everything remained completely silent.

“Your father is going to be furious,” he finally spoke. 

He didn’t look angry anymore. Instead, a look of concern crossed his features. Liam released a deep breath and his shoulders sagged the slightest bit. 

It was unsettling for everyone to see him look so defeated. He had always been strong-minded and strong-willed. It had been drilled into his brain from a young age that he should never show weakness and that it was always necessary for him to carry himself with an air of confidence. 

Ali stood glued to her spot by the door, not knowing what to do. The only time she had seen him like this was right before he had gotten on the plane back to Cordonia. Every one of her instincts told her to go to him and comfort him, but there was a voice in the back of her head saying that it wasn’t her place anymore. Even if it was, she wouldn’t know what to say. The world of media and nobility wasn’t one she knew anything about. Instead she just watched him. She watched as he took a breath, straightened his spine, squared his shoulders, and put on a mask of neutral expression. 

“I’m sure my father will find some way to properly address the press as he’s done for Leo several times in the past,” he began calmly, before turning to face her, “Ali, you were completely right. I have a responsibility to Cordonia, and I should have never said the things that I did last night or this morning. It was a poor judgment call on my part. I apologize for upsetting you and my momentary lapse in judgement. I’m afraid you won’t be able to leave until the crowd outside disperses, but you are welcome to remain here in the meantime. Please excuse me.” 

With that, he walked to the bedroom of the suite and closed the door behind him. His words were short, and Ali could see that he was struggling to say them with as little emotion as possible. However, knowing this gave her no comfort as she once again felt tears stinging her eyes. He spoke as if he were addressing the public as a politician, not to the person that he claimed to love. She roughly bit down on her lip, desperate to not cry in front of a group of men that she hadn’t even known for twenty-four hours. She felt exposed, and she wanted to run and hide. But, her feet were rooted to the floor. 

Drake approached her slowly and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she barely registered his presence. 

Ali wasn’t sure how long she stood there watching the door that Liam had just disappeared behind, but she probably would have been there longer if the sound of several phones going off hadn’t pulled her out of her thoughts. Maxwell, Charlie, and Leo all pulled out their phones and skimmed through something before looking at her and each other nervously. 

“What is it?” she asked, her voice hoarse. Maxwell made his way over to her cautiously and handed her his phone. 

“Damn, they work fast,” she heard Drake say as he looked down at the phone over her shoulder.

The web page was opened to a Cordonian news site, and the title “Prince Liam’s Bachelor Party Hook-Up” was staring back at her in bold letters. There were pictures of the two of them kissing on the street outside the hotel and some of the group leaving the bar last night. The reporters had caught bits of their conversation, and the article told of how he begged her to stay with him, speculating how the pair knew each other. 

Ali handed the phone back to Maxwell and stepped so that her back was pressed against the wall, depending on it to keep her upright. She was aware that everyone in the room had their eyes on her now. Taking a look at her own phone for the first time that day, she saw several frantic texts from Cole’s sister, Emma, and a few from his older brother, Luca, asking where she was. 

“Moonessar, do you want to take a walk? My room is right down the hall,” Drake said cautiously, as if he were expecting her to have a meltdown at any moment. 

“No,” she said, already bringing the phone up to the ear as she spoke. 

She listened to it ring several times, relaxing at the sound of the voice that picked up. 

“Luca, I need you to come get me,” she said, before turning and walking out the door.

************

Ali had known the Larson family her entire life. The four Larson siblings had been born into a household with an abundance of money but absentee parents, and when Ali was young, her mother had worked as a maid and nanny for them. Ali grew up alongside the siblings and became fast friends with Cole and Emma because the three were close in age. When both of Ali’s parents died in a car accident, Cole’s older brother, Ezra, had insisted that she move in with them. She was only nineteen and had been such a mess at the time that they all agreed it was for the best. She had been living with them ever since, and the Larsons had become the siblings she never had and the family she needed. They had always been there for her.

Luca was the oldest of the four siblings, and even though he and Ali couldn’t be more different, their connection had always been different than they one she had with the others. Luca was the most put together person that Ali had ever met. He had expensive tastes, always wore a suit that had been perfectly tailored to his body, and was a prominent lawyer in one of New York’s biggest law firms. However, regardless of their differences, Luca and Ali seemed to balance each other out and had a natural chemistry that made them unstoppable when they worked together. Luca was kind-hearted and very obviously cared for her in a way no one else ever had. 

The other siblings had often joked that the two should just get married and finally make Ali an official Larson, and while Ali knew that Luca was everything she could possibly want in a partner, there was always a piece of her that couldn’t commit to a relationship with him. It was the piece of her that had always and would always belong to Liam. She had casually dated other people after Liam, but she had too much history with the Larsons to even consider that with Luca. If she entered a relationship with him, there would be too much pressure from the family for them to get serious, and she knew that she wasn’t able to fully give herself to him. So, she didn’t, and instead they had formed a different relationship. They weren’t like siblings, but they weren’t in a relationship either. She couldn’t explain what they were. They were just close.

Now, sitting in the front seat of Luca Larson’s car with tears streaming freely down her face, Ali wanted nothing more than for him to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay as he had done so many times in the past. 

“Luc, I-I m-made a mistake,” she choked out as he pulled into the parking complex a few blocks away from the building they lived in. 

After parking the car, Luca turned in his seat to face her and placed a hand on her knee, tracing soft circles on it through her jeans. 

“Let’s get you inside. We can talk there,” he said softly. 

He got out of the car and ran to the other side to open her door for her. He kept her locked tightly in his embrace as they rode the elevator up to the large penthouse apartment they all shared. Upon entering the two were met with the angry face of Emma Larson. 

“Where were you? You know that if you spend the night away from home you’re supposed to let someone know! You’re lucky we didn’t call the police!” she began, before Luca shot her a look that quickly shut her up. 

Even though Emma was the youngest in the household, there was no doubt that she was the one in charge. She currently had a tape measure hanging around her neck and was clutching fabric scissors tightly in her hand. From a young age she had been into design and had recently been trying to make her way into the world of fashion. She tended to “stress create”, and it was evident that she had been doing so for quite some time as there were varying fabrics in different colors spread across the living room floor. Her loud voice had pulled Cole and Ezra out of the kitchen, and they both straightened their bodies into a protective stance upon seeing Ali’s tears. Luca led her over to the couch, and Ezra went back into the kitchen to get her a glass of water before joining the group. 

“What happened?” Luca asked, his voice was gentle as he spoke to her.

Ali shakily pulled up the article on her phone and handed it to him. She watched as his jaw clenched momentarily while reading it and had to stop herself from crying even harder. 

“I’m sure it’ll all blow over in a day or two,” he said, a soft sigh escaping his throat as he handed the phone to his siblings. 

“The article isn’t what I’m upset about,” she breathed out. “I- I slept with him, and I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have, but I saw him last night, and I didn’t know how to let him go again.” 

“You slept with him?” Emma exclaimed.

“Well, obviously. What did you think she was doing when she didn’t come home last night?” Cole asked casually as he lounged back in his chair. Ezra and Emma both glared at their brother. 

“I feel so stupid. You should have seen him this morning. After we got mauled by the press it was like he just turned all of his emotions off. After everything, after telling me that he loved me, he just dismissed me like it was nothing in front of all of his friends. It was humiliating. God, I’m such an idiot.”

A fresh wave of tears began to fall down her cheeks, and she pushed off her glasses.

“This is all your fault!” Emma said, glaring angrily at Cole.

“How is it my fault? I didn’t tell her to sleep with him!” 

“You don’t leave your friend alone in a bar with their ex!” 

“I didn’t leave them alone! All of his friends were still there! Drake was there!”

“Children, please,” Luca said in an exasperated tone, his siblings’ antics only furthering his frustration. 

Ali buried her face in the decorative cushion next to her, wishing that she had actually used her common sense the night before and hating Liam for the things that he said. In a hotel room less than an hour away from her Liam was staring at his computer screen, hating himself for hurting her and dreading the conversation he was about to have with his father. 

[spooky-scary-imagines]

poly Billy Loomis and Stu macher and their s/o scenario. string of fate leads them to their s/o and it turns out that both of their strings lead to one person😊 hope that makes sense

((I listened to the Peaches entire discography while writing this and I feel like it shows lol. When you say “string of fate”, I assume this is like a soulmate AU? Didn’t think to ask till I was halfway through writing it. I apologize in advance if I misunderstood. Also, the way this is requested this seems like more of a V than a triad poly relationship so that’s how I wrote it, Billy and Stu are still platonic soulmates though cause they’re the dynamic duo. Also, spot the movie reference(s)!

Poly Billy Loomis + Stu Macher Soulmate AU s/o:

Everyone always told them they would find their soulmates eventually. That they just needed to wait. However, for Billy and Stu there was always some doubt that they ever really could have soulmates. Sure, they had their strings, just like nearly everyone else, but it impossible that anyone could ever really understand them the way they understood each other. To them, while a soulmate would be nice, they at least talked like a soulmate was just an extra liability.

It was 8th grade and Billy and Stu were having one of their regular sleepover/movie-nights when Stu awkwardly broached the topic. “Hey Billy?”

The other looked up from the on-screen mutilation, “Yeah?”

“Do you ever, er, think about your string?”

Billy raised an eyebrow “What do you mean?”

“Well, I dunno. Just what your soulmate’s like. Or what you’ll do when you meet them?”

“Not really,” Billy admitted, “If they’re my soulmate they can’t be too bad right? And I guess it all depends on how we meet.”

Stu giggled, “That’s a pretty chill way to look at it.” He paused for a moment, “Hey…no matter what happens with our soulmates…we’ll still be friends right?”

Billy looked over at his friend, who was looking to him for reassurance. He was always like this, wanting Billy’s attention and encouragement, especially when he was doing something he knew would get him in trouble. Billy grinned, “Of course dude. No matter what.”

It was a perfectly normal job. Everything was going according to plan as Billy and Stu hid outside your house, while you sat unaware in your living room.

“They’re kinda cute,” Stu whispered to his accomplice.

“Focus jackass. I need you at the other door.”

“Alright alright. Yeesh.”

As Stu walked away, Billy turned back to watch you through your window. Stu was right, you were pretty cute. Shame you were going to die. He chuckled a little bit as he thought about the poor person who was gonna wake up with an unraveled sting tomorrow with no clue why. Speaking of, what the hell was going on with your string? It seemed to be split down the middle, going opposite directions. Did that mean you had two soulmates? He’d never seen something like that before. Still, it didn’t make a difference. He began to dial your number.

You were watching some old, campy horror movie on cable with a bowl of popcorn when the phone rang. You picked it up but saw no caller ID, “Hello?”

“Hey…who is this?”

“It’s (Y/N), and who are you?”

“Sorry, must have been a wrong number.”

“Guess so, well, bye-”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“What are you up to?”

Whoever this was, they weren’t jacking off and calling for Agnes, so you decided maybe he wasn’t a complete creep, and to humor him a bit. “Nothing much…just watching a movie.”

“Oh yeah… what kind?”

You looked over at the TV as some guy put glowstick fluid in some butt-naked corpse. “Horror.”

The person on the other end of the line giggled, “Oh yeah? You like scary movies?”

Rolling your eyes, you figured you should try going along with this, “Oh yeah. I love them.”

“What’s your favorite horror movie?”

With a complete deadpan voice, “Gingerdead Man.”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end, “The one with Gary Busey? What the fuck?”

You laughed at the dumbfoundedness in the guy’s voice, “I’m just messing with you dude. I can’t choose just one. I guess I like Friday the 13th.”

“Yeah, that’s a good one…Hey, let’s play a game.”

“Oh yeah…What kind of game?”

“A guessing game. It’ll be about horror…since you like it so much-”

“Well, I don’t know how good I’d be at trivia.”

“You’ll do fine…After all, your life is on the line.”

Your blood ran cold as it drained from your face, “Wha-What did you say?”

“I’m gonna ask you questions and if you win, you get to live. If you don’t get enough right, you get to watch as I disembowel you and string you up by your own intestines.”

You were surprisingly good, you even managed to remain a semblance of calm even when you missed a question. Stu admittedly was throwing you softball questions that most people could get. But it was still impressive. However, he could tell Billy was getting tired of messing with you, and even he was excited to get to the main event. “Final question,” he heard Billy say through his phone. “Get this one right, you live. Get it wrong, well…y’know.”

“Just tell me the question!” you yelled into the phone.

“Which door am I at right now?”

“Wh-What?”

“There are two main doors to your house,” Stu added, “Which am I closest to?” This part always felt a little unfair to Stu, and it made him laugh. Him and Billy stood in front of one exit each, so no matter what you choose, you’re wrong, which means you have to die. Those are the rules of the game.

He’s not even really listening to your response as he creeps his way into your home. He hides in the doorway, knife poised. He hears Billy say, “Wrong answer…” and a vase smash on the other side of the house, his signal to move in. He stalked you from behind as you went to investigate, holding a kitchen knife in your trembling hand. He thought it was so cute, if a little pitiful. You eventually must have found Billy because you turn and ran the other way…right into him. Your eyes went wide with terror, as you shoved him and ran away again, right to where Billy was waiting.

Eventually, they managed to corner you in your living room. Stu was just about to lunge for you when he heard Billy cry out, “Wait!”

Stu looked at his partner, confused, “What is it?”

“Look at their strings dumbass.”

You and Stu looked down in near unison at your strings. You two followed them to see that both Billy and Stu’s strings connected to your’s. You looked up in horror at the two masked killers in front of you-your soulmates. “Please. Please don’t kill me.” The two masked figurers looked at each other for a second, then back to you.

A giggle came from the man on the right, “Why would we kill you? We’re soulmates…aren’t we?”

The other man spoke up, “This is just my fucking luck. We kinda have to kill them now though. Soulmate or not…no witnesses remember?”

You whipped your head to the one who had just spoken, “Nonononono, you don’t have to kill me! I won’t say anything, I swear! I-”

The taller, more cheerful one interjected, “They’re right. Look at them. They won’t be any trouble! Right, cutie?”

This guy seemed like he was going to be your only way out, “R-right! I promise. I’ll-I’ll be good!” The taller one pulled up his mask to reveal an impish, handsome face that looked about your age and a wicked grin, “Just wanted to get a better look at you.”

“Well since you already blew our god damn identities, I might as well unmask too,” the other man growled, yanking off his mask. He looked like a slightly older “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”-Era Johnny Depp, but a broody frown marred his handsome features.

“Oh man! We never introduced ourselves,” you decided not to mention that the reason for that was their attempted murder, “I’m Stu and that guy is Billy.”

“Um, nice to meet you…”

“Yeah,” Stu spoke again, “So, er, what do we do now?”

“They’re going to have to stay with us,” Billy interjected, looking at you with suspicion. “At least so we can keep an eye on them.”

Stu nodded, “That sounds fair. Is that alright with you (Y/N)?”

There was only one right answer to this question, and your life was clearly on the line. And, well, if you forgot that these two had just tried to kill you, they didn’t seem terrible. They were your soulmates. That has to count for something! You nodded and Stu grinned. Billy simply rolled his eyes, “Just don’t try anything stupid or we will kill you.”

Stu just slung his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close, “Good thing that won’t happen.” He noticed your look of unease and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t be so nervous,” he leaned down closer to your ear, “Me and Billy are real good at sharing.”

What were you getting yourself into?

[yiqiie]

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E3 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: I AM READY i’ve been so hyped after the previews i’m finally feeling a bit of the excitement i got from last season again 

start time: 7:32 am

my wifi has been pretty good lately so i’m praying i won’t have to take all day to watch this ep again 

nO

THEY’RE DOING THE CALLS

NO NO NO 

wait omfg yaochi’s mum 

SHI ZHAN’S MUM HUNG UP ON HIM LMFAO 

HIS FACE

zyx you’re a little shit ahahahahaha 

also i love your dimple uwu 

no one in A class ;;;;

JOLIN I LOVE YOU MY QUEEN 

GUAN YUE UWU WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE MY BBY 

wait i got too caught up i forgot to write something

but like what he said is true 

you’ve got people who are already such all-rounded people compared to people who are maybe only good at singing so it’s gonna be harder for some people than it will be for others 

i love jolin so much guys she’s teaching them move by move 

i think the mentoring is so much better than last season though 

i think they focused way too much on like being strict last time but this time they’re actually doing move by move teaching 

it might have something to do with experience tbh 

but once again jolin is the cutest human and she’s my number 1 pick lmao 

hu chunyang uwu he’s so shy 

i love li ronghao teaching though 

YES BOY GO I REMEMBER YOUR DEEP VOCALS 

the poor thing but look at how hardworking 

they’re so nervous though poor babes 

XU LONGHAN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

HE’S SUCH A MEME

so baby pick-a me! 

i’M CRYING 

ZHANG PD LEGGO 

i remember when he was teaching mask and all of the boys were doing zyx neck exercises and it WAS THE FUNNIEST THING 

HOW THE FCK IS HE DOING THAT 

i’m sorry i’m supposed to be focussed on the trainees but i’m mesmerised by zyx lmfao 

dude that is some pretty crazy workout 

balance 

WHO SAID BALANCE 

they’re asking pd hard questions ahahahhahahaha

CALLING THEM ALL REPORTERS AHAHHA

li wenhan teaching uwu what an aesthetic 

yaochi’s smile is so adorable 

GUAN YUE YOU’RE SO CUTE SHUT UP GET OUT 

XU LONGHAN AGAIN AHAHHA

THAT HIGH NOTE BRUH 

yao mingming is so cute honestly 

oh no baby ;;; 

he forgot some of his lines 

YEAH BOI GOIGN UP TO B 

please tell me they’re going to A 

omg 

i will cry 

pls pls pls i’m begging 

YES 

YES YES YES I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BABES 

i really have to get better at names 

wait someone got to A 

since when 

what who is it???

only 7 people went up from F ;;; 

please tell me someone went up to A 

F TO B THAT’S AMAZING 

no baby don’t cry no no no 

oh shit i’m crying 

YES BABE

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU 

YOU DID IT 

okay i’m sobbing i can’t even see my keyboard 

[break while i get a tissue box] 

LMAO ADDING IN A CHEWING GUM AD 

lol the subtitles aren’t matching the sound 

LOOK AT THAT VOCAL POWER 

now there aren’t subtitles 

wait no they’re back 

LIAN HUAIWEI MY PRECIOUS BUB 

wang jiayi you’re so hardworking i believe in you gorgeous 

YOU CAN DO IT 

YOU’RE IN B I’M SO PROUD 

well we already know wenhan is in A 

BUT I’M PROUD OF YOU BUB NONETHELESS 

guan yue my number one pick baby 

HE ALWAYS MAKES THIS FACE 

IT’S FCKING ADORABLE 

istg if zyx makes another trainee cry

NO NO NO NOPE 

YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS TO ME 

oof his vocal power though 

LIAN HUAIWEI YOU ARE SUCH A MEME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 

‘hold me i’m going to faint’ 

i CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BOY 

jia yi is holding the fcking yoghurt milk drink and practising 

I CANNOT DEAL OMFG 

honestly my heart hurts so much for these boys they work so hard 

LIN MO DON’T CRY BUB 

sorry lin mo crying for his teammates is making cry 

wtf jia yi those vocals holy shit 

lian huawei is such a meme i can’t believe this boy 

GUAN YUE YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL IN PINK 

sorry this is turning into a guan yue fangirl rant 

back to the topic 

damn that’s a lot of people in A 

THEY GET MORE MILK AHAHAHAHAHAHAH LMFAO 

sorry HE’S SO CUTE 

also did jia yi change his hair colour?????

zyx has his proud face on 

casper’s ‘YOU GOIN A MAN’ 

xu fangzhou’s visuals though omg 

honestly the improvement over three days is so much obvious this season then last year 

you can really see how much they put in and how much they’ve improved 

no babes don’t cry no no 

‘my killing part is really weak’ 

SAID WHO 

EXCUSE ME SIR

lmfao no one wanting to perform first ahahaha 

AHAHAHAHA THAT WAS SO CUTE 

LI WENHAN THAT WINK 

EXCUSE ME 

GO AWAY 

guan yue’s smile IS HONESTLY 

JIA YI 

COME ON DON’T DO THAT 

WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE 

he forgot the moves because he kept smiling AHAHAHA

LIAN HUAIWEI 

OMFG AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

i’m saying it again 

I REALLY LOVE THEIR NEW UNIFORMS 

i’m finally loving the new song 

my CUTE BABY BUB 

CHEWING GUM ADS 

jia yi don’t smile at me like that 

you know i can’t handle it 

GUAN YUE 

MY HEART 

GAH 

NO 

DON’T DO THE PHONE CALLS 

DON’T DO IT 

[brb getting my tissue box] 

okay no one crying so far 

we good 

YAO CHI’S MUM AHAHAHHAHA 

wait someone’s mum is brushing their teeth AHAHA

okay this is just really cute 

NO NEED FOR TISSUES 

this is hilarious omfg 

‘it doesn’t matter if i can see you on weibo or not’ 

LMFAO THIS IS SO FUNNY 

oh guan yue ;;; 

i’ve seen people on weibo saying that they don’t want them to show this bit and that people shouldn’t make a big deal out of it so i won’t talk much 

oh fuck where are my tissues 

no baby don’t cry you’re making them so proud 

NO 

NOPE 

WE ARE NOT DOING THIS 

lin mo pretending that there’s a bad signal so his mum doesn’t hear him cry 

perhaps my heart is breaking 

so is it gonna be this way producer team 

you’re gonna make me laugh and now you’re giving me all of this emotional stuff 

I CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR SHIT 

no li wenhan nope no no no 

i can’t even see my screen 

[break while i get water] 

ooooo group performances!! 

what are the songs this time 

pls don’t tell me there’s gonna be a PPAP level song 

wait like ‘dream’ as in the season one dream???

that was god-tier 

NAMANANA YES YES YES YES 

no one’s gonna beat zyx though just saying

ooooo we have a ballad!

IT IS SEASON ONE DREAM LMFAO 

it isn’t idol producer without some good old voting 

who’s number one pick 

li wenhan?

i bet it is 

LOOK AT THIS BROSHIP 

WENHAN YOU GO BABE 

pls pick a good song though 

LI WENHAN X JIAYI WHAT A BROSHIP 

GUAN YUE’S SMILE IS SO ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL 

4As LMFAO 

AHAHAHHAHA HE WISHED FOR IT AND GOT CHOSEN 

LMFAO HIS FACE 

he thought he was gonna be able to chose his song 

but he’s become li wenhan team’s competitor 

no one wants to be chosen anymore because li wenhan AHAHAHHAHAA

wait my wifi cut off how did we get here again 

oh wait three As in the other team 

now we’re onto the next song 

IT’S AN F BABY 

WHO’S GONNA BE DANCING NAMANANA 

oh the poor baby’s face ;;;; 

THIS IS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY 

before everyone wanted to be the next on picked 

but now no one wants to be picked anymore 

HE LITERALLY FELL OVER BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE CHOSEN AHAHAH

wait 

what 

one team per song can’t perform on stage at all 

what the hell 

what’s the point of live voting then?????

5 vocals and there are 4 rap parts AHAHHAHAH 

i love how there isn’t even competing in their team they just kinda force chunyang to be leader lmfao 

LI WENHAN A GORILLA AHAHAHHA I’M CRYING OMG 

‘whoever has muscles, let them be centre’ AHAHAHHAHA 

THEY’RE ALL CRAZY ISTFG 

this is so funny i can’t believe this omg 

PREVIEWS LEGGOOOO

wait they’re just kinda spoiling who’s gonna be able to go on stage 

not gonna lie though isn’t that kind of unfair?

oooo these groups look really fcking good 

he CHANGXI OMFG 

wait li wenhan group’s outfits are low-key ugly lmao 

they literally just revealed who’s performing ahahaha 

honestly this is really unfair to the people who don’t get to perform 

finish time: 11:03am 

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!

[thefangirlslair]

PERPETUAL WINTER (A Sasusaku Fanfiction) Part II

Note: It’s finally here. Wow, the last time I updated this was last May. Time flies so fast. Thank you to everyone who patiently waited for this. I hope this is okay. I don’t know if I did a decent job in making their emotions real but let me know please. Thank you! Their whole conversation wasn’t really the way I planned it. But it just happened as I was writing it, like it has a mind of its own. I hope it was okay. I’ve been anxious about this ever since I typed the first word. Aaah! So yeah, here you go. I hope I finish the whole PW series before this year ends. Thank you again for reading! Xo

PS. Been listening to a lot of sad songs while I wrote this so I included some songs. But I was listening to Back to You by Alex & Sierra and I got emo. Lol. This is also up on my ffnet!

--

Excerpt: "Can I kiss you?"

Her mouth opened in surprise, her eyes widen in shock. Her breath comes in puffs, visible in the winter cold. Sasuke waited patiently, offering a silent prayer to her. He doesn't pray to any god now for he believes there is none. But if Sakura heeds his prayer then maybe there really is one.

Seconds felt like infinity until she firmly answered, "No."

-

Sasusaku Pairing (10,304 words)

(Disclaimer: The lyrics aren't mine but from the writers of the songs I used. See author's note at the end. I feel so fucking horrible right now so I haven't reread this since I finished it. So I'm sorry for the typos and such.)

A Poor Attempt at Writing Fics

SasuSaku Edition X

Perpetual Winter Part 2

"When will we ever be truly happy?"

A quiet hum was the reply from the other line, his mother probably contemplating about what to say to him. He didn't mean to be this vulnerable but this is his mother, the only person he could trust with his whole life. More than his best friend, of course.

Few seconds passed and he heard Mikoto say, "Maybe when we accept that things aren't always meant to be."

He sighed, looking outside while leaning back on his first-class seat inside the plane headed to New York. The sky is a bit dull, thanks to the winter of the upcoming Christmas.

"Yeah," he quietly agreed. "Maybe then."

He heard his mother sigh in return and asked, "Did you at least talk to your father before you leave?"

He closed his eyes and thought about his talk with his father earlier, "We're okay now. He called me while I was with Itachi."

At the mention of his brother's name, he's sure he heard a quiet hitch in his mother's voice when she spoke. "I can't believe it's been 10 years. Time flies so fast."

10 years since Itachi died and yesterday was the anniversary. He went to Itachi's grave and stayed there for hours, talking to his dead aniki once in a while and just thinking about everything. Before he went home, his father called him.

There's no question that he loves his father, but they just don't get along really well ever since he was a child. Their relationship was forever scarred when he agreed to the heir position. He thought, and probably his father as well, that their father and son connection was truly lost.. until yesterday when Fugaku called him.

He couldn't even remember the last time they talked on the phone, or the last time he heard Fugaku as a father, not as the Uchiha patriarch.

"I'm not proud of most things," Sasuke remembered his father say. "I've done things I regret and will forever haunt me. But if there's one thing I'm proud of.."

He held his breath as he waited for his father to continue. Then he heard his emotionless father in a strong but cracked-on-the-edges voice, "It's the two of you. I'm proud of your brother, and I'm proud of you Sasuke."

If he could cry by then, he would've cried. But there are no tears left to cry now for his last tears were already shed years ago. But nonetheless, he felt his heart ache because of his father.

His father added, "I'm sorry. For everything."

It's nothing new, this ache that's been living in the beating organ of his body for so long now. His heart will always ache because of his family. Most of the time, it's in a painful way, but not this time. This ache is the kind you feel when you know something heavy is being lifted from you. Sasuke sighed.

"Tou-san," he whispered through the phone, and looked down at Itachi's grave. The snow lightly falling around him touching the stone and his hair.

He heard Fugaku softly gasps on the other line, definitely shook by his address. But then later replied, "Yes, Sasuke?"

He smiled softly, feeling the air around him shifts as if comforting him. Nii-san, he thought by then.

"Thank you," he sincerely said. "And I'm sorry, too."

Looking back from yesterday as he opened his eyes to reality, he felt warm. He said to his mother, "Yeah, it is."

Mikoto asked, "When are you coming back?"

"Just in time for the Christmas ball. I have to be there," he said gruffly. He heard his mother laugh softly.

"Will you bring a date?", Mikoto asked in a teasing voice.

He snorted, "You know I don't do that, right?"

Mikoto sighed. 9 years have passed since her son broke down that December night, following the shattering of Sasuke's heart. She will never forget that night. She knew as she held him on the floor sobbing his heart out that it would take an awfully long time to heal, but not this long. Her son is 29 now — driven but tired, strong-willed but fragile, loved but lonely.

"Do you have at least any plans? You can even bring just a friend, you know that," Mikoto pushed.

There was an announcement that the door of the plane is closed and now ready to take off. All electronic devices should be turned off and Sasuke exhaled inwardly for he has avoided his mother's prying. Mikoto also heard the announcement and nearly rolled her eyes.

"I need to go. I'll call you when I get there," he said to Mikoto.

"Okay, son. Take care. Don't overwork yourself," concern and love evident from her voice. Sasuke smiled gently.

"Aa. You too."

Sasuke finally turned off his phone and waited for the plane to take off. He thought about what his mother implied earlier. Bring a friend?, he thought. As if I have a lot to choose from. I only have Naruto and-

He sighed. That "friend" is definitely unavailable. She's probably off somewhere in America where she's happily living her life with her husband. The last time they met, she was newly engaged. He didn't bother to know how she's been doing for the past 3 years. He didn't want to risk the longing he might feel. Only God knows he does.

But he remembers that it was winter, as it always been for the both of them. Green eyes across from him, pink hair blowing in the cold wind, red lips on his skin — he remembers it all.

As the plane drifts, so does he — where the memory of their last reunion lives.

--

3 years ago

Love is just a state of mind.

This was his mantra every single day since the day he left Japan. Yes, there were doubts, but he strengthens his resolve every damn day when he wakes up. He remembered saying it to himself yesterday, and even earlier when he woke up. He always tells himself that maybe it's just all in his head now — that he already moved past every shit he went through, that he's not stuck loving the same person for only god knows how long; the same person he broke in front of him that first snowfall of that year's winter and he's now reunited with, wearing that smile and that fucking ring.

'Love is just a state of mind', he repeated for the second time today as he watched her talk outside. 'You actually don't love her anymore. You're just nostalgic of the memories. You're just being dumb.'

The little jolt of pain from his chest says otherwise. He's been telling himself that line since he went to study business the following year when they broke up. But today, Haruno Sakura managed to put all Uchiha Sasuke's progress he worked hard for more than 2000 days in just less than an hour within her orbit. She's so lethal.

'Love is just a state of mind, my ass.'

He watched her talk animatedly outside the café. In her rush to talk to that 'Neji-kun', she mumbled a quick 'excuse me' to Sasuke and forgot to bring at least her scarf outside. Sasuke watched as she repeatedly hunch her shoulders to her neck and run her gloveless tiny hand on her arm.

And even though he saw how her hand holding the phone shake a little because of the cold, he could also see the happiness radiating from her smile and the brightness of her jade eyes even from where he's sitting.

It stings a little, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Not when she looks that way — not his anymore, but still so beautiful.

Timing is a funny thing. Once you thought you're over it, one pink-haired beacon of spring will bloom in your eternal winter and blow all your progress into next week. What a woman. He will never find anyone better.

Sasuke fought with himself to look away from her and when he did, he looked at the chair that she occupied a few minutes before she went outside. It reminded him of a time when sitting across from her bright eyes and even brighter smile once annoyed the hell out of him. Not because he hates it but because he's started to like it; he even craved for it.

Innocent coffee hang-out as they do algebra, group study with some of Naruto's friends for an upcoming english quiz, spontaneous pizza parlor visits after watching movies — all of them ending up across from each other. Never beside her, no. Always across, right there in front of him, as if saying 'look at me'. She never did say it, but he looked nonetheless.

Always.

Sasuke was pulled back to reality when he felt a tap on his shoulder as she moved towards her recently vacant seat, "Hey, sorry about that. Someone just checked in if I'm still alive or not."

She said it so lightly that someone might think she's only talking about the weather. He wanted to point out her ring finger and wordlessly ask if the caller was the same person who gave her that ridiculously huge piece of shit, ('she was never the flashy type. she hates the offending thing,' he thought) but he didn't. He just nodded and sipped his coffee that's as bitter as the taste of the truth is.

"It's fine," he added quietly.

He watched as she shivered on her seat as she takes a bite out of her muffin. "So," she drawls on. "How have you been?"

'So it begins.'

"Good. Business is doing great. Economy is booming as ever. Foreign investors are st-"

"Oh c'mon, Sasuke," she interrupted. "I'm asking about you, not your company or Japan's economic state."

He paused for a second to look at his coffee and say, "There's nothing to say."

Sakura actually snorted out loud for that, something that she did a lot when they were younger. "6 years and nothing happened to you? Only your business? Oh please, you know I know shit about business and all that."

That made him smile a little, "You know a lot more than you think. You're the smartest person I know."

A look of surprise and something he couldn't put a finger on flashed in her green eyes, and for a moment he thought she would blush like she always did when he pays her a compliment. Instead, she answered back steadily.

"Thank you. But still, I'm more on the medical field than your corporate expertise. I want to know about you."

It's making him frustrated. There was a time when he could catch her off guard and make her blush like crazy that makes him go crazy himself. Now, the woman sitting in front of him is so hard to read and so poised and feels so unattainable that even Uchiha Sasuke, the Uchiha Sasuke, feels inferior.

He swallowed the slight insecurity that suddenly gnaws at his bones for talking to this newest version of Haruno Sakura. She looks different; she sounds different. He now wonders if she smells, feels and tastes different too. He halted his thoughts before it goes worse.

He leaned back on his seat and shrugged a little, "I'm okay. Busy as always. I rarely have free time like this one."

She offered a small smile, "I bet. How's Colonel Mustard?"

He smirked at that, "Still grumpy and lazy as hell."

"How does he look like now? Do you have any pictures of him? I wanna see," she exclaimed with a tiny hint of excitement. How could he stand a chance to that face?

'You're hopeless, aren't you?', his own thoughts mocked him.

Sasuke took out his phone and scrolled down to his photo gallery. When he saw the picture of his cat taken by his blond idiot best friend, he tossed it to her and she caught it as naturally as a pro. He hid a smile.

As she scrolled away, he asked her back. "How are you?"

She briefly looked at him just then and answered distractedly, "I'm fine. I'm still pursuing my medical career and it's all good. Hard, but I think I can manage."

'Of course, no doubt about that,' he silently praised.

"I'm not so homebody anymore so I got a few friends. I got them when I started to attend a music class because I wanted to learn piano. I could play it really well now," she added. A hint of pride could be heard in her voice. "Oh, and guitar too. I didn't know th- oh!"

He heard the coo from his companion and silently watched her smile and comment on how his pet seemed to be weirder than before.

"All of his positions are so weird and funny," she said, her fingers covering her lips as she laughs. "And I guess Naruto can't be a photographer even if he wanted to. These photos are terrible."

He smothered a chuckle, "You know he's an idiot at everything." He paused for a moment and asked her, "How did you know it was the dobe who took it?"

She gave him a look that says 'Really? You're asking me?' and he immediately knew. Do you honestly think Uchiha Sasuke likes taking pictures of his cat? Hell no.

'You're so predicable, Uchiha. You think you're so sly, aren't you? Look at you now, asshole.'

Sakura returned her eyes to his phone, still browsing for his cat's terrible photos, until he saw her flinch a little and stopped scrolling. His brain automatically went from zero to 100mph and racked itself for what could've made her act like that. He's also annoyed that he noticed her flinch. It's because he's staring at her. Idiot.

She finally raised her eyes to meet his and said, "I guess you still kept it, huh?"

She brought his phone back to him and his eyes fell to what was displayed on it. Sasuke fought a shiver inside him because he immediately knew what she was talking about. He regrets that he decided to save it instead of ignoring it.

It was taken maybe 4 or 5 years ago in his apartment in London where he was studying business, and was recently sent by Naruto ('#flashbackfriday when your cat was still a bitch and you were still a workaholic ass. oh wait, you still are!', the blond captioned) through text. The photo was simple — Naruto taking a selfie with his cheeky grin, Colonel Mustard obviously scratching and struggling on the blond's arm as they lounge on Sasuke's room, and Sasuke in the background typing with his one hand and holding a cup of coffee on the other.

He didn't know Naruto was taking ridiculous selfies with his pet, but he did know that his best friend has this annoying habit of barging into his house and his room without a care. He already gave up scolding him.

But the one that made Sakura flinch and Sasuke's heart clench was the tiny and a bit blurry object on Sasuke's bedside table in the background — a frame with their picture together when they started dating. The said frame is currently in a box hidden somewhere in his old bedroom in their family house. He hasn't seen it in years. But seeing it now after so many years through a selfie photo of his best friend made him relive the said picture.

It's the only thing he kept from all the physical reminders of what once was. He was aware that it wasn't good, that he shouldn't have kept it on his bedside table and see it every time he wakes up. But it's the only thing he could look at without hurting much, because it reminded him of a good and innocent time. And with the life he had after their break-up, lonely and bleak and just plain cold, that picture gives him a hint of warmth and spring.

Or maybe he's just a masochistic son of a bitch.

It was a picture of them on Christmas Eve, the first one they shared as a couple, with them only just a few days of being official. You can say they were drunk — with liquor, with each other, with love. They weren't wearing fancy clothes nor inside a fancy house in a fancy party. They're in Naruto's apartment with a couple of their high school classmates, sweaty and lit and inebriated, counting down the seconds to Christmas.

Both their faces aren't shown in the picture, but you'll know it was them. Sasuke was facing away from the camera wearing a plain black t-shirt; his wide shoulders, blue-black hair peeking through his cap, and tall height as a give-away to his identity. The slight curve of his arm indicates that he was holding onto something. Or someone, rather.

Around his torso was a pair of arms, coming from a petite form that's obviously standing at his front. Then there is something peeking from his shoulder. The only things you can see are her bright pink hair, and her equally bright green eyes staring straight through the camera. You can tell she's smiling even if you can't see her mouth.

His face was sideways, so anybody would see the slight curl of his lips partially hidden through pastel strands of Sakura's hair. Throngs of people and their red plastic cups with confettis falling around are all a massive blur in the background. The only clear picture was the picture they made together — drunk in each other's arms but sober to know that it's all real.

God knows he would kill just for them to be back in that moment. It's foolish, it's dumb; but it's what his heart wants. He knows it deep in his gut and in his soul. He had never wanted anything ever.

But then, things change. People, too. And Sasuke is aware that this Sakura sitting across from him now is getting married to someone she chose to be with; someone she said 'yes' to; someone who isn't him.

Truth hurts. These are the facts, and he can't argue with them. No matter how much he shield himself from the onslaught of emotions running through his whole being as they look at each other 6 years after the worst time of his life, the truth is hitting him on the face. It's sitting on her left hand's ring finger and it's blinding and suffocating and god, he wants this misery to end. When will this ever end?

'How do I unlove you, Sakura?'

Sasuke wanted to maintain their eye contact, but he needed to breathe. He looked away and closed his lids, took a breath and held it for a few seconds as he thought hard before releasing it. He hoped that Sakura didn't find it weird.

As expected, she patiently waited for him to speak up. She obviously still remembers his habit of sorting out his thoughts first before blurting them out. He wanted to laugh. Sakura and the world have clearly moved on with their lives while there's him stuck on the same shit he's been doing since forever. So predictable, so pathetic.

He fought the frown that was threatening to form on his face and opened his eyes to look at her. "Yeah. I kept it," he finally said.

Sakura was just looking at him, analyzing him with those eyes of hers. 'Stop looking at me,' he thought.

Sakura finally replied, "I kept mine, too." His heart lurched for a moment. He remembered her own copy — same night, same party, same drunk picture; but in a different angle. Sasuke gritted his teeth to fight his urge to bite his lip. It's a habit of his when he doesn't want anything to spill from him and she knows it, so he just nodded stiffly in return.

She then added, "Why?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, hiding his nervousness and anxiety. "It reminded me of a good time," he truthfully answered but used with a light and careless tone.

Sasuke saw her frown at that. He felt the gears turning in her head as she prepares her next queries. Sasuke thought, 'I gotta divert this conversation.'

"Don't worry about it," he blurts out. "When my mother saw it, she told me I should not dwell on the past anymore. So I think she kept it hidden in our ancestral home."

He almost sighed with relief when he saw her face changed expression and settled with a small smile, "How's Mikoto, by the way? Does she still have insomnia?"

"She's doing okay now," he answered her, thinking about his mother and her insomnia when Itachi died. "She's good, don't worry. Her pies are still the best," he managed to give her a tiny smirk.

Sakura smiled, "That's good to know. The last time we saw each other, she looked worn down."

He frowned at that. 'They saw each other? When?'

His confusion must've been written all over his face so she said, "Didn't Mikoto tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Her eyes widened a bit for a split second and softly answered him, "She sent me off at the airport before I went to the States. Mikoto was actually the one I saw before I boarded the plane."

Sasuke didn't know what to say, what to think. His mother? Why would she do that? What did they talk about? Why didn't Mikoto tell him?

He just continued blankly looking at her, lost for words. Sakura looked back at him with an awkward expression. Apparently, Sasuke wasn't the only one who felt uncomfortable all of a sudden.

After a few silent seconds that felt like hours, Sakura broke the silence. "We just briefly talked for a few minutes before the gates closed. She asked me what happened to us that time and how you were doing then."

Sasuke clenched his fist under the table and scoffed, "I hope my mother didn't tell you how miserable I was."

'Still am,' he corrected in his mind. 'How miserable I still am.'

Her eyes were steady on his when she answered, "She did, actually. She knew I was as miserable, too."

He's now regretting the vulnerability in his words. There's a pang of pain he felt in his chest where his heart lays beating weakly by the minute. He fought the need to clutch it like he did that night when he broke down in front of his mother in their living room.

'Why are we here? Why am I fucking here?'

Sasuke swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and concealed his true fucked-up feelings with a humorless smirk. "Aa. That sounds like my mother," he quietly replied.

He needed a minute. It's only been what, an hour of being reunited with his first love, and she's slowly but surely breaking down his armor with little to no effort? He wanted a drink or a smoke; anything but this already cold bitter coffee in front of him and this girl, this stranger, that has the face of his long lost love.

Sakura offered him a tiny smile and said, "Yeah. I hope I can see her before I leave again soon. Would it be okay to have her number? Or is it the same as before?"

"No."

Sakura blinked and looked taken aback at first with his abrupt answer, "No to what?"

"All of it," Sasuke dryly replied.

Sasuke couldn't take this any longer. He couldn't understand a thing, much less feel anything at all. All he has is this numbness slowly gripping his whole being.

Green eyes flashed for a second and he heard her say, "Why not?"

He countered with, "And why should you?"

Irritation can be heard clearly in her tone as she spoke, "She's not just another person in my life, Sasuke. I just want her contact number so I could talk to her."

"And I said no," he said. "There's no reason for you to reach out to her anymore."

He knows he's being irrational and being a bit childish to be honest, but he couldn't understand why she's doing this. Add that to the gnawing leech of ache in his cold and broken heart, you could say he can't think straight at the moment.

It doesn't help that she looks gorgeous while breaking his heart all over again.

Instead of being angry like he anticipated, Sakura's face turned concerned. 'That face,' Sasuke inwardly sneered.

"Are you okay?", Sakura calmly asked him.

He replied, incredulous. "Am I okay? Really?" He scoffed, "Yeah of course, you just told me my mom spilled my guts to you and now you're here trying to reunite with her like nothing ever happened. So why shouldn't I be okay?"

Sasuke was trying to compose himself because he could feel his voice starting to shake and rise from too much emotions. The last thing he wanted to do is create a scene in this coffee shop. He kept his face as blank as possible.

Sakura just stared at him for a long time before answering, "It's been 6 years, Sasuke. You should be okay." Then like just an afterthought, she added. "We should be."

'How is that supposed to mean?', he screamed in his thoughts. 'You're perfectly fine, absolutely okay. You're getting married, you got your life altogether and planned out, you still look amazing and I'm here wondering what the hell am I doing with my life."

With all those thoughts, only few words came out, "And what makes you think I'm not?"

"Your face says it all, Sasuke. I know you," Sakura replied, still using that calm tone she has.

It's grating on his nerves so that's why he didn't fight when he abruptly slammed his fist on the table as his voice rose slightly, "Stop it!"

Her eyes widened in response and darted around the place. In his peripheral, he saw some customers glance at them curiously. Fortunately, there are only few. It dampened his rising mood and slightly pulled him back to himself.

His eyes were boring into hers when he said through gritted teeth, "Stop saying you know me, Sakura. Like you said, it's been 6 years. Many things changed."

Not all of them, he could admit. Just like his feelings.

She sighed in response, "Yeah, I could see that. Just like when you opened the door for me. You never did that before." She concluded it with a small smile.

His insides were in a turmoil. Is every word she's gonna say will continue to rattle his emotional and mental state? Is everything gonna remind them of their past? Is everything gonna slap him in the face that they never had a closure in the first place and maybe that's why?

She continued talking, "I noticed that you're taller, and that you've gotten a bit of tan. You're not as pale as before. Your hair is longer. You've become more tight lipped, but I guess that's because it's me you're talking to. I mean, after the way we ended I could unders—"

"I said stop it," he said quietly.

Her eyes remained the same, calm and collected. But he could also see a hint of determination and question in them. He couldn't understand. Why does she look like a girl on a mission? Those eyes are steady and serene but piercing and brave at once.

Sasuke inhaled deep and softly asked, "Why are you saying these to me?" His eyes are still looking through hers, "Why are you here? Why did you drag me here?"

He just wanted to drink his coffee and read his books in peace. He did not ask for her to be there at the other side of the road before he crosses it nor ask for her to come along with him. He did not want to see her engagement ring on her finger nor see her drink her black tea.

He did not ask for Sakura to come back in his life and remind him of what he lost when he let her go.

"I want to catch up with an old friend and have coffee with him," Sakura answered casually but softly, her eyes still seeking his as if wanting to see his thoughts.

His anger started to come back and he blurted out, "Friend? We're hardly friends now, Sakura."

"But we were once."

"Yeah, before I fell in love with you and you fell in love with me," he said with his voice shaking from too much restraint. "Before we kissed with the intention of something more than being platonic. Before I introduced you to my family as my girlfriend and you brought me to your parents' graves."

Sasuke heard her softly gasped at that last statement but he continued, "Before that night when we broke up. Before right now where we're here, acting as if none of those shit happened to us."

'Before we made love. Before we argued like kids and fucked like adults. Before we stayed up all night just talking about our dreams in the future and woke up in the morning realizing that our future was already right fucking there, staring at us in the face,' he all but screamed inwardly.

He leaned forward to look at her directly and fought the urge to grab her face to reiterate all of what he's saying. Then he whispered to her with a voice laced with longing and regret and desperation.

"Before right now where I'm asking you.. why you are here. Why are you here, Sakura? Why did you come back?"

Sasuke saw her eyes and her whole face soften as they continue to look at each other, until he saw them cast downwards towards the table. He followed her line of vision and saw her left hand.

Several thoughts came running through his head, all jumbled and don't even make sense. But one thing stood out to him even without her saying anything — she came back to Japan because of her engagement.

His eyes flicked back towards her face and saw her looking at him, almost apologetic and tender that he felt his chest tighten. Then Sakura spoke, "I think you already know."

He did; he does. Ever since she picked up her call and he was almost blinded with how fucking shiny her ring was and with how he felt like being punched to the gut, yes he knows. He will never have her back.

Not now, not ever.

Sasuke stood up abruptly, forgetting everything except picking up his coat. In his mind, he only wanted to get out of there. Get out of this café, get out of her life.

And so as soon as his hands found his coat when he stood up, he quickly strode towards the door. The faint noise inside the café was all but a noiseless background in his mind. He was actually expecting Sakura to call out to him, and when he finally opened the door to exit, all he heard was nothing but the howling of the cold wind outside as it snows.

The door of the café closes and so does his door.

—

He never paid attention to his surroundings. He just kept on walking and walking under the slight fall of snow around him. The streets are busy and the people are busier, all of them trying to make it through the day. Sasuke is the same. He just wants to make it through today of all days.

He never once imagined their reunion would be like this. He had this brief fantasy before about them seeing each other again, and finally realizing that they were meant for each other. They will throw away all the bullshit they went through and start again, fresh and new. They will never part. Never again.

But he didn't anticipate the fact that Sakura could be loved by someone else, too. And in return, she could love that someone back.

Sasuke should've known better. She was the smartest, most patient, most beautiful person inside and out that he ever met. He should've known that one person could see and appreciate that as much as he do, and will do everything to fight for her love.

And that's what Sasuke didn't do — fight for her.

He released a pained breath and watched as his mouth formed puffs of air because of the cold. He then noticed that he was in a playground, sitting on a swing in a nearly deserted park. His tall frame was hunched down on the tiny swing, his long legs bent as he stared into the ground.

He had no idea how he got there, but it may be a subconscious act. He always liked things that remind him of a much simplier and innocent times in his life. He also didn't know how much time has passed, but with the faint glow of the sun in the west he could tell.

"I thought you'd be here," a voice came and knocked on the closed door of his heart. He turned his face towards it, he saw her and suddenly his doors came opening again.

The winter sun was directly behind her, giving her this eerie glow. Like a nymph; a spring nymph being born in his perpetual winter. He shivered inside.

Sasuke couldn't see her face properly but he knows she's looking at him with those eyes of hers. He couldn't see them, but he could feel.

He watched her as she approached him slowly as if he's a wounded animal. In a sense, he is. He feels like it. He's wounded for the longest time, deep and real that he's full of bandages. And now, she's here to rip it all off and pour salt in his wounds.

"You left these," she said as she passed him his paper bag full of books and his scarf on her other hand. He never left her face but silently took the things out of her grasps and placed the books down as he held onto his scarf. After a few silent seconds, he finally looked away from her and stared at the thing on his hands.

She spoke again, "I knew you'd be in a playground. You have always been like that."

He heard the chains rattled as she sat down on the other swing beside him, facing the other way. They sat there in silence, watching as the sky took a break from crying too much snow and families in the park prepared to go back home.

If you ask Sasuke right now, this might be the only thing that haven't changed between their dynamic — the silence. They have never needed words ever since they became friends and silence is a comfortable companion back then. When they became lovers, it was like their platonic third-wheel aside from Naruto.

Right this moment, it's a bit different. The silence is there, but it rang like no other, begging to be noticed. An obnoxious loudmouth bother, a deafening pierce of a non-existing noise; it's right there between the two of them. And with a heavy heart, Sasuke took a breath and broke it.

"You're getting married."

Sasuke saw in his peripheral that she whipped her head towards him. He kept his face straight and forward, his eyes trained on two little boys riding a bicycle with their parents following behind. He felt his heart twitch in nostalgia.

Sakura returned to her original position facing the other way from Sasuke. You can hear the amusement in her voice when she spoke. "He finally said it," she softly said, as if she's talking to an audience.

He frowned, not caring anymore and looked back at her. He saw her fiddling with her scarf around her neck, noticed that she's not wearing her gloves. He can see the ring, subtly reminding him of why they're here.

"I was wondering when will you talk about this," she said while looking down at her ring, her voice still soft and quiet. She put down her hands in her lap, "That was the reason I said all those things back there."

She then looked back at him and he met her round and honest green eyes, "It was a bit childish of me, I know. But.. I just had a feeling you weren't being honest with me back there."

'Oh fuck,' he groaned inwardly. 'No, we are not doing this. You are not doing this to me.'

Outside, his face scrunched up in confusion and frustration. "Why? Why would you do that?", Sasuke's voice is as quiet as hers.

Sakura kept her eyes glued to him, "I hate seeing you like that. It reminds me of our last night."

All thoughts evaporated. Heartbeats stopped. Breath halted. Sasuke could only do one thing and that's to stare right at the love of his life. He felt something sting behind his eyes and he looked away.

"I know you weren't being completely true that night. Like I said, your face says it all. I know you good enough even before we got together."

"It kinda hurts when I saw you doing the same back at the café. It brought back sad memories," she looked down. "And also because.. I already know, Sasuke. I already know the whole thing why. Naruto told me."

He fought a groan that tried to came out of his lips. First his mother, and now his best friend. Who's next? His father?

"He came to visit me in the States right before I started attending Harvard. He told me everything. The company, the merger.. the arranged marriage."

Sasuke remembered drinking with Naruto a few months after their break-up. And the next day, Naruto told him that his father wanted him to go to Massachusetts to attend a conference. He didn't bother to ask for details because he was still hungover from the night before.

"He told me you're a mess; that I should go back and fix our relationship because he can't stand to see you that way. Mikoto actually told me the same thing in the airport before I left but in a subtle way. Naruto was pained and sad for you, but Mikoto was scared and concerned."

He knows she left a week after their break-up in December. Before the year ended, he remembered his mother ask him if he will follow her. He said no. He wanted to, but he didn't.

"I want you to know I understand, Sasuke."

He gripped the chains of his swing hard. He couldn't even feel the cold of it anymore. He's overwhelmed by so much information that two of his precious people tried their hardest to save him in the lowest point of his life by begging her to come back.

How pathetic can he be?

"You weren't supposed to know," he finally spoke. His voice was gruff and tired. He feels so tired.

"It's impossible though," she answered. "I would've known it when the news of your marriage comes out." After that statement, she looked up again and asked him. "Now that I think about it.. why haven't I heard anything about your wedding?"

He exhaled, "She called it off."

Yes, Karin Uzumaki decided not to marry Sasuke Uchiha. He remembered the furious face of his father, the relieved exhale of his mother, the anxious fidgeting of Naruto, the wide eyes of Kushina and the amused smirk of Minato. But most of all, he remembered the determined eyes of Karin and the gratitude behind her slim frames when she looked at him.

"Oh," Sakura softly said. "What happened?"

He played with the scarf bunched at his lap as he replied, "She fell in love for the first time. I told her to decide what she wanted to do and I will respect it. She decided not to pursue the engagement then."

Karin was there for him when he and Sakura broke up. She was his companion in social events, casual dinners, drinking alcohol; but that's just it. A companion, a friend; and to Karin, he is the same.

Yes, they did try to become something more. They kissed once or twice, tried lunch dates, and went to movie theaters. But there was no passion, no spark. There's only mutual respect and comfort, and those aren't the only things a relationship should have.

When Karin told him that she met someone that she used to be classmates with in high school and they talked, she asked him about how did he know he was in love with Sakura. He answered with, 'It has always been a subconscious thing, I guess. You just know.'

So he wasn't surprised when after a year, she told him that she's finally in love for the first time. He told her to do what she wants, and she did. She fought for her feelings, fought for her love. And now she's free, married just a few months ago. Sasuke was her best man because he was her bestfriend. Naruto was pouting the whole ceremony.

Sakura didn't reply this time but she nodded as she looked away. Sasuke turned his head towards her then, silently looking at her side profile. Her cheeks are pink from the cold and her breath is visible. Pink strands are blowing in the wind making him smell apples. Now he knows that she also smells different; she smells like flowers back then.

Looking at her after 6 years felt like a blessing and a curse at the same time. He felt like he was in a reality show, cameras are around him watching his every move and emotions that will run across his face; ready to laugh at him for the biggest prank of his life.

This is his reality. This is real and she's right there, wanting him to be completely honest with her. Say all his thoughts unlike that night; unlike back there at the coffee shop. He could do honest. He will be honest.

"You're still beautiful," he blurted out.

Sakura's eyes widen for a bit and she looked back at him. She blinked a few times, completely taken aback by his abrupt statement.

"I'm glad I haven't taken all your good parts," he continued. "I'm glad you've been able to move past the things that happened. I'm glad you're doing fine. I haven't told you I was proud of you that night when you told me you got in to Harvard so I'm telling you now — I am proud of you. I'm glad you're back.. even if it's because you're getting married."

Her green eyes were steadily shaking looking back at his black ones. Sasuke could see them shining and he hoped she doesn't cry because if she does, he is done for. He will be annihilated right there in the middle of a fucking playground.

With his eyes never leaving hers, he asked her. "Does he love you?"

Seconds stretched out and she finally managed to croak out a yes and a nod. Suddenly, Sasuke felt this incredulous urge to laugh. In the end, he let out a small chuckle.

He gave her a barely-there smile, "Of course he does." His voice was soft but it cracked in the end, "Who wouldn't love you?"

Sasuke saw her eyes gather tears and his fear of seeing them was finally falling from her eyes and right there staring at him in the face. His chest felt tight and his throat burned. He was only whispering his words but he felt like he shouted them to the heavens.

He twisted his swing with his legs to finally face his whole body to her form. He reached out to the chains of her own swing beside her thighs and moved it to face him. His legs widen and put hers between them so he could support the two of them.

As he looked at her face to face, from head to toe as they sit in an empty playground within an empty park, Sasuke felt alive. Given that he knew this woman silently crying in front of him is crying because of him, he felt alive for the first time in years. The dull colors of winter faded in the background and all he could see is the pink of her hair, the green of her irises and the gold of the sun slowly setting down behind her.

Tears kept flowing and her red-stained lips are shaking. Sasuke didn't fight it when he wiped her cheekbone with his thumb, and neither did Sakura. He used the back of his fingers as he wiped the other side. Sakura let him. It felt so surreal to Sasuke.

He was finally touching her again after 6 years. This was what he wanted to do when she was crying that night on the side of the road where they broke up. She feels different, he realized — softer, more delicate. Even though he knows the past few years haven't been nice to her, she still managed to become more than what she was before and after they ended.

Sasuke knows it was long overdue, and that these next words should've been said that night, and all the nights before and after that; but he says it anyway.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head no and opened her mouth, "No, you don't have to Sasuke-kun. I understand, you d—"

"No, Sak. You need to hear this," Sasuke interrupted. He looked at her intently, "I need this. We both do."

Right then, he realized that this reunion wasn't supposed to be the time where they would get back together as he wished for the last 6 years.

This reunion was for them to finally go their separate ways, to finally accept that things aren't always meant to be; and that includes them.

Onyx eyes bore into jade ones as he spoke freely, vulnerably, and longingly. "I'm sorry for not being the type to open the door for you. I'm sorry for diverting the topic when I felt like being too exposed. It's because you scare me with how much you know me and I was afraid you'll see how ugly I am inside."

She was shaking her head no as he continued, "I'm sorry for ignoring your calls when it all turned to shit. I didn't wanna hear how lonely your voice sounds, that's why. I'm sorry for bringing up your parents when we were arguing that night. It was insensitive of me and I was truly sorry as soon as I said it."

"Sasuke-kun, stop."

He couldn't hear a thing and his voice started to shake but he pushed through with all the pent-up remorse, pain and love bottled up inside him.

"I'm sorry for making you feel insecure, for making you feel less of a woman when we were together. I'm sorry for making you cry then and even now. I'm sorry I'm so messed up inside that I feel ashamed being able to talk to you right now."

He's blurting out his words and his eyes started to blur simultaneously. Sasuke couldn't see her clearly anymore, only the faint glow of her weeping eyes and the halo on her head made by the sun.

"Stop."

"I'm sorry for not fighting for you; for giving up. I'm sorry for breaking your heart, Sak. I'm sorry for breaking us. Not only that night but all the nights after I accepted my role in my family. I broke you when I said yes, and I broke us when you said it's over and I'm so, so sor—"

Sasuke felt her arms around him, her head against his shoulder and her tears on his sweater. He felt all the air inside him dissapear as his tears finally fell when he closed his eyes.

His face reached her head, and he buried it against her hair. And as he wound up his arms around her and crush her into him he whispered, "I'm sorry for letting you go."

—

They cried — for the loss, for the death, and for the love of them. They embraced for a long time, both of them not uttering a word. When their storm finally calmed and both aren't crying anymore, Sasuke opened his eyes and stared at the almost setting sun.

"Do you remember when you asked me before what my favorite song was?", his head was still against hers.

Sasuke felt her head move and put her chin on his shoulder, "Yeah, I do."

He reluctantly let go of her so he could look at her tear-streaked face. He offered a gentle smile, "I have an answer now."

In his pocket, he flashed out his phone and then he whipped out an old-looking earphones from the other. He earned a small gasp from Sakura.

"You're still using it," she said quietly.

"Hn. I barely use it anymore, but I always bring it with me."

It was the same earphones she gave to him on a random day after they listened to her favorite album which he loved. She taught him the power of music and how it moves people; and taught him how to appreciate it in any form.

Sasuke plugged his earphones to his phone and looked for his favorite song. When he found it, he gave the other earpiece to her and watched as she put it on her ear. It reminded him of that lazy, cold morning listening to Bon Iver and sharing earphones and body heat with Sakura.

He could see the anticipation in her eyes as she looked at him gently. He wished that she would understand that he is dedicating this song for her.

"Listen well." That's all he said before pressing play.

Guitar plucks started to flow through their ears and Sasuke saw the recognition in her eyes. He heard her whisper, "Death Cab, huh?"

He just nodded in return and earned a small smile from her. He felt a lot better now than he ever did before.

When the singer, Ben, started to sing, he was reminded of how he first heard this song while he was cleaning up his room in their house before he left for London to study. Along with their picture of their first Christmas as a couple, he also brought the album that contains this song that he found in his room.

It was obviously hers and she must've forgotten that she brought it there or she purposely left it. Eitherway, he brought it with him to London and listened to it almost every day for the first year of being alone in a foreign city.

He pictures Sakura every time he hears this song, especially when a certain part of the song comes.

All the girls in every girly magazine

Can't make me feel any less alone

I'm reaching for the phone to call at 7:03

And on your machine

I slur a plea for you to come home

But I know it's too late

I should've given you a reason to stay

Maybe that's why he loved this record so much, most especially this song, because he relates a lot to it. Their relationship was never perfect. Yes, their love lacked color but only on the outside. Inside, it's bursting at the seams.

But then, sometimes it isn't enough. When fact and fiction blur together, it could end in tragedy; and that's what happened to them. Sasuke didn't give her enough reason to stay other than the quiet love he has for her. Sakura was never the demanding one, but she deserved more than what he gave. She deserved an explanation, an apology, and a love that fights for her. That's one of his biggest regrets.

The song ended and the next song came, and then the next. Song after song, he silently dedicated them all to her. Every hook, every line; it's all for her. They sat there, hunched over his phone playing all the music, shivering from the cold but warm enough because of each other.

"I just wanna feel alive

And get to see your face again"

"I'll make it without you

Though my body's laying here

It's my mouth that must be lying now"

"I'm talking to what's left of you

Watching what I say

Counting all the freckles on your perfect face"

"I need to hear in black and white

That you don't need me now

Say you don't want me

That it's not like it was for you before"

"So don't go away, say what you say

But say that you'll stay"

"I'll be the one that needs you again

And I'll be the one that proposes

In a garden of roses

And truly loves you long after our curtain closes"

"When you're young you just run

But you come back to what you need

This love is good, this love is bad

This love is alive back from the dead

These hands had to let it go free

And this love came back to me"

Words flowed, lyrics lingered; Sasuke dedicated and Sakura listened. Together, they forgave; together, they let go.

—

"I need to go," Sakura whispered.

They're both silent after a few minutes from listening to his playlist. He could tell she understood. Her misty eyes and her lips swollen from too much biting are a few giveaways. She was nervous and anxious about saying something. Sasuke waited.

"I.. I wanted to say.." she stammered. She was fiddling her engagement ring as she find her words. Then, "It was good to see you again, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke-kun. He felt like he finally redeemed himself because of that added suffix. He finally earned it back. She knows all that happened, she understands, and she listened to his apologies and regrets.

He will never ask for anything more.

She finally stood up from her swing and started to turn away towards the setting sun when he found his voice.

"Are you happy?"

Sakura looked back at him, her eyes soft and dreamy. A little red from the crying they did earlier but her vivid green still stood out from the dull hues of the snow.

She nodded her head, "I am. And I hope, you are too."

From the lonely swing he was sitting on he answered her, "I will be."

Sasuke watched as her green eyes flooded with moisture and she closed them as she took a deep breath. She was trying not to cry again.

"Is this the last time we'll ever see each other?", he asked.

When she opened her lids, she straightly looked in his black orbs. Their eyes have always been their best assets, and they use it well. Especially at times like this when words don't seem to flow easily.

Her voice was quivering when she answered him, "Maybe." His heart sting a little but then she added, "I don't know.. I hope not.."

He stood up, "Can.. can I be selfish for one last time before you go?"

He was aware that he decided to never ask for anything from her again. She went through so much just by being with him and even right now as they speak. But like she said, maybe this is the last time he'll see her — beautiful and ethereal with the setting sun bathing the snow-covered world behind her, making her rose-colored hair burn in the right way and her glimmering emerald pools pop out with emotions.

Sasuke watched her swallow first, as if sensing that he's gonna ask for something he wasn't supposed to, and she was right. He knows this is ridiculous and inappropriate because she is getting married to someone she is happy with, and she has every reason to deny him of this which he will respect if she does.

But he is Uchiha Sasuke; and he is selfish, and arrogant, and compulsive when confronted with feelings, and irrational when he wants to be.

He is Uchiha Sasuke and she is Haruno Sakura, and only God knows how much he fucking missed her and longed for her and cared for her and loves her.

He loves her. He always will.

And so he took one step, then two, up until he reached her shaking form. With anticipation crawling in his veins, making his skin prick and his lips tingle, he asked his final request.

"Can I kiss you?"

Her mouth opened in surprise, her eyes widen in shock. Her breath comes in puffs, visible in the winter cold. Sasuke waited patiently, offering a silent prayer to her. He doesn't pray to any god now for he believes there is none. But if Sakura heeds his prayer then maybe there really is one.

Seconds felt like infinity until she firmly answered, "No."

His shoulder sagged. He anticipated it, but it still hurt a little. He understands and he respects it, but he still wanted it. He looked down and forced a smile.

"I know. It's okay, I understand. I shouldn't have asked. It's ridiculous and completely absu—"

"Can I kiss you?"

Head whipped upwards as fast as it could that it gave him a sudden whiplash. He saw her soft smile and her even softer eyes and she's just so fucking beautiful it hurts and she's gonna kiss him.

All he could ever manage was to give her a nervous nod. He was like back to zero, no experience with girls and how to act with them. He was like a child being promised of being brought to an amusement park or given a new toy. He was like a high school teenager realizing for the first time that he was finally getting to kiss this girl that he really really likes.

Sakura stepped forward and looked up at his face, eyes roaming around as if watching for a shadow of doubt in it. Sasuke looked back and gave her a look of someone who will never get to have this chance again.

Her bare hands went up and held his face. He helped her by leaning down and pressed his head against hers. He closed his eyes and waited for her kiss.

Sasuke felt her breath on his lips and heard a murmur laced with strawberry scent. Her cold fingers against his jaw tighten for a bit as her words sank in him.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun."

His heart stopped as he waited for her soft lips on his eager ones, but it broke altogether when he felt them on his forehead.

If it wasn't a sign of them really over; if it wasn't a sign for him to really let her go, then Sasuke doesn't know what it is.

He understands it now. She chose to be with this person she's marrying and she chose to be faithful to him. She chose to settle all tangled knots from her past to get ready for her future — her future without him.

He wanted to cry again but he didn't. He fought it hard, feeling his eyes water behind closed lids as he feels her lips linger on his forehead. He could feel her lips shake as she presses them harder to his skin. He clutched at her waist and gripped her coat hard.

No matter what happens in the future, he had this. He had this last moment with her, and he will be forever grateful.

All that happened was a blur after that. In the end, he remembered not watching her go. He immediately turned around as her lips left him. He wanted his last memory of her to be her smiling face close to him, not her retreating figure in the lonesome park.

No words were said after that. He sat in the swing again, noticing that the sun had finally set. Winter night came howling in and he is alone again.

Sasuke never saw her retreating back, nor her crying eyes, nor her last attempt to look back at him.

He will never know, because he will never see her again.

--

Sasuke took a deep breath as he walks out of the airport, finally in New York soil. He saw the car that was supposed to pick him up right there in the front. He watched as the driver took his suitcase and put it in the trunk.

All the while, he cracked his neck. He was tired. The flight was long and his brain was fogged with those memories from 3 years ago.

He can say he's doing better now. He really let her go that day, wishing her all the love and happiness she deserves. He really meant every word he said and every thing he did.

To say that he's not missing her would be a lie, though. She still manages to plague his mind sometimes and make him think of what she's doing right now. Where she is, how she's been, how happy she is; all those things. But for his welfare, he decided not to dwell on those things too much.

He's 29 now. 9 years have passed since they broke up, and 3 years since they had their closure. He dated once or twice, but it never really worked out. He really tried those times, but there was just something missing. It didn't feel right.

He isn't rushing through anything. Right now, he's just trying to make his way through every day, one step at a time. Who knows? Maybe this coming year might be the year for his love life. Maybe he will meet someone in his almost 3-week long stay in America. Maybe it's the time to finally open his closed door again.

As he opened the door of the car, he took another deep breath and silently hoped so, too.

~fin~

(A/N: Songs used are A Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie; Echo - Jason Walker; Make It Without You - Andrew Belle; Bulletproof Weeks - Matt Nathanson; Let You Go - Jason Walker; Don't Go Away - Oasis; Happiness - Rex Orange County; and This Love - Taylor Swift (please also listen to Ryan Adams' version of this because it fucking hurts) Thanks!)

part 1 | special chapter