#my pirate phase never dies

[anemojocknerd]

My autistic special interest is pirates and I’ve always wanted to be a pirate except I have absolutely no idea how to pirate, I’m just gay

[queermediaanysis]

How Izzy’s Death Could’ve Made Basic Storytelling Sense

Just to be clear, Izzy is my favorite and I wanted him to live more than anything. This isn’t about that, and that is NOT why I hated his death. Had it served the narrative in a way that made even the most basic storytelling sense, while I’d admittedly have been devastated in a different way (i.e. the character whose queerness was relegated to the subtext in s1 and as soon as it’s textual and his whole arc is that he’s killed, but that’s a whole separate post…), but at least there would’ve been a correctly crafted arc from a surface level narrative standpoint that ended in the death of my favorite character. But that’s not what this is about. It’s is about how the show could’ve actually made the death actually make sense and work effectively. (Also, if you want my unasked for thoughts on how most of the existing plot of s2 (minus 7-8) could’ve easily been adjusted to fix the narrative as a whole and keep Izzy alive, I wrote this)

But. For those in the fandom insisting that Izzy HAD to die, including DJenks who has said as such in interviews (for reasons I do not understand), from an objective developmental editor standpoint, this is what I think needed to change to make Izzy’s death serve the narrative, character arcs and dynamics, pacing, structure, and thematic elements correctly.

It’s about 2K words just so you know what you’re gonna get into. Spoilers under the cut.

Issue 1. Izzy’s relationship with the crew and how they truly became his family this season totally vanished during his death scene. The same crew who he protected from Ed during the later, worse parts of the Kraken phase. The crew who banded together to save his life by hiding him from/lying to Ed about it, and amputating his leg to save him. The crew he saved by crawling up those stairs during the storm, hobbling out into the rain with one leg and shooting Ed before he could shoot a cannon ball through the mast and kill them all. The crew who called him “our dick”. The crew that then banded together with Stede’s half of the crew to him the leg and the new unicorn (aka the figurehead of the ship). That crew didn’t cry a SINGLE tear when he died. What?? Fang sobbed most of episode one and really lost it when Izzy got shot. Where was that when he died?? Izzy’s last speech to Ricky had something along the lines of: piracy is about belonging/family. We are Good. (Forgive me, I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist). Izzy truly did find his family in the crew outside of Ed. That was absolutely fantastic, especially in the first four episodes and episode six. It VANISHED when he was dying and dead.

The fix: To make the death impactful, effective, or even to make it make sense on a very basic acting and writing level, the crew should’ve been utterly DEVASTATED. At least heartbreaking music and like 30 seconds of everyone breaking down and holding each other. At least some of them crying and holding each other in the background when he was dying. Come on.

Issue 2. Thematically speaking, is piracy Good or Bad? Again, Izzy tells Ricky that they (the pirates/his crew) are capital G Good. Yet Ed has spent a lot of time maintaining piracy is capital B Bad. He tells the urchins as such. Here’s some money that I never had, now you don’t have to be pirates. Don’t be pirates. He doesn’t want Stede to kill Ned Low in cold blood. Ed just doesn’t want to be a pirate. Even at the end AFTER Izzy dies telling Ed he’s with his family (implied that this is the crew) and they love Ed, Ed LEAVES THAT FAMILY AND LEAVES PIRACY IMMEDIATELY. We’re left with him and Stede watching the family Izzy swore was Good and loved Ed sail away because Ed thinks piracy is Bad. Which is it?? The death served nothing in convincing Ed he could be happy with his found family on the sea as Ed, not Blackbeard, so the dying words were pointless. The thematic elements are all over the place (for the whole season but that’s another post) and that needs changing to make the death scene make sense.

The fix: Izzy should’ve told him he sees he doesn’t want to pirate anymore, he’s glad he’s found love with Stede because Izzy isn’t going to make it, go run your fokkin’ inn, you twat (affectionate).

Issue 3. Izzy died of bad planning and bad luck. Why didn’t they take the gun from Ricky? Between Spanish Jackie, Izzy, and Jim, SOMEONE would’ve thought about it. If not those three, someone else would’ve, but come one. One if not all of those three would’ve known better. Yeah, Izzy happened to be standing in front of Ed and he got shot instead of him, but you’ve gotta be REALLY looking for that to even be aware it’s what happened. It wasn’t even on purpose unless Ed strategically placed himself behind Izzy (which I doubt was the intent). Izzy didn’t position himself protectively/take the bullet for anyone on purpose. It was just happenstance and you only notice it if you’re rewatching and hyper-analyzing everything (which a lot of us, me included, in the fandom do, but casual watchers don’t. It’s totally unclear as far as the surface level narrative goes) Any sort of “heroism” is not acknowledged, it’s barely even noticeable in the shot. If that was the intent, it HAD to be clearer and acknowledged by the characters so the audience would realize the stakes and repercussions of clear choices. As it is, I don’t think it was intentional. If Izzy HAS to die, it should truly have rounded out his arc in a way that CLEARLY changed the course of the scene, leaving him to protect people he’d put in danger at the end of s1. It didn’t. It just read as terrible planning to the point of it being out of character for more than one character, and bad luck.

The fix: Izzy should’ve saved someone. I personally don’t like the idea of it being Ed. I’s have rather he save Stede (Not really, but it’s better than Ed I guess) But really Izzy should’ve died saving the crew. The crew makes the most sense to me, narratively speaking. He’s their figurehead, he’s protected the Kraken Crew for months and they should’ve been fiercely loyal to him, he blames himself for what Ed did to them (more on this later) so it makes sense for him to fiercely protect his crew. His family. Who should’ve been devastated that it happened because Izzy is the one character of the main three who’s managed to earn that status this season.

Issue 4. The death did not serve to move the plot along. There are literally zero things that would’ve been different for the end of the episode, save Izzy being alive and on the Revenge in his rightful role he earned with his crew as the captain, if he’d have lived. Ed and Stede aren’t partnering with Zheng to go after the guy who killed him in the next season. Nope. They got the offer but nah. They’re running an Inn. Which Izzy would’ve supported based on literally everything we’ve seen from him in episodes 5-8. The crew who Izzy protected fiercely and who viewed him as their leader? Not one tear during his death or the the funeral. Happily sailing away to do presumably more Muppet Treasure Island hijinks. No character development happened. No plot development happened. The season could’ve ended literally the EXACT SAME WAY with Izzy alive aboard the Revenge!!! No stakes were changed at all. No one was impacted enough for it to seem like it was even going to be a plot obstacle next season. It just happened, Izzy’s toxic situationship who maimed him multiple times over the course of months to the point of his leg needing to be amputated was sad for one (1) scene, then we moved on and did not seem sad at all at the funeral. What.

The fix: The plot should’ve been driven by the death. Ed and Stede (but especially Ed), and DEFINITELY the crew should’ve been sailing off plotting to avenge the death and defend piracy against Ricky and the British, especially with Zheng who lost her whole fleet. Ricky and the British are clearly (or so I hope, nothing’s clear here anymore tbh) the primary antagonist for the theoretical third season. No one should be running an whim-based inn for fun or sailing off happily into the sunset after the death of the most major character aside from Ed and Stede, who beyond proved himself a major part of something every character (his family) should’ve cared about this season. If he HAD to die, that death should have furthered the plot. But instead, it seems everyone shrugged it off with tears exclusively from Ed.

Issue 5. Izzy got shot in the left side. The side in which canonically NO ONE DOES FROM BEING INJURED ON IN THE OFMD UNIVERSE.

The fix: Yeah I know this is just too nit-picky but it was also just SO sloppy. Like just shoot him on the other side if he has to die, because this was a very memorable plot point more than once in s1. Like, come on y’all.

Disclaimer: Issues/fixes 1-5 would all need to happen together to truly fix it and make the death serve the narrative correctly. Issue/fix 6 is a totally separate route, which I personally hate, but at least the narrative would’ve made sense this way.

Issue 6. The idea that Izzy had to die so that Ed could be free of Blackbeard makes no sense at this point in the story. Ed already threw away his leathers and gave away his treasure to symbolically get rid of Blackbeard, and Izzy very sweetly encouraged him to follow the feeling that throwing out the leathers gave him. Izzy told Stede that he and Ed were good for each other. They balance each other out. Izzy is on good terms with both of them and their relationship, so Izzy “having to die” so Ed could flourish as Ed genuinely makes no sense and came totally out of left field.

The fix for 6: This one stands alone and is my absolute least favorite option, but if it HAD to happen without the 1-5 fixes, here’s how it could’ve made sense. If THIS is truly the way it was going to end, Izzy needed to be continuously antagonistic or avoidant to at least Ed and actually be shown holding Ed back from happiness until that last second. He wasn’t. He was so much better. Izzy clearly does blame himself (that’s for a separate post because I have lots of thoughts there) but to be fair they were both abusive in that relationship, for years it seems. Although I think by the beginning of s2, the power dynamic has clearly flipped and it was Ed who was doing most of it and Izzy was exhausted and knowingly “reaping what he’d sewed” (I don’t Blame Izzy for his abuse but I think this was his mindset) so the crew wouldn’t get the brunt of it.

If he seriously HAD to die because the writers just had to have it that way, those are the changes I think would’ve made the narrative work/make sense, served all the character arcs and dynamics correctly, and actually driven the plot as fictional deaths are supposed to, compelling things into a third season. Seriously, this season finale was a mess of baffling choices the most series finale season finale I’ve ever seen.

Anyway. There’s my unsolicited two-cents. Now back to hoping Izzy’s in the gravy basket waiting to be sea witch necromancied back by seagull Buttons in season 3. I love this show and I hate hating what I hate hating about it because it’s my absolute favorite and I can’t stand it because it’s fantastic and the worst thing I’ve ever seen. (Also, Izzy should’ve lived).

[renatogpadilla]

THOUGHTS ON CR3E92 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

- FIRST EVER CR CROSSOVER EPISODE?!

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

- Dariax said "This Flute doesn't play itself anymore." Doriax canon offscreen?

- "After all the handjobs, this is what we mean to you?!" Damn... I mean, I'm glad Opal and Cyrus found a way to relieve stress, Gods know they're both stressed, but damn.

- Ending the episode on Opal Twice-Crowned hitting phase 2 of the boss fight was EVIL!

I love it, @quiddie ! I feel like when this gets animated in a decade or so, we'll get this fight and the fight with Otohan Thull overlayed one on top of the other for a Season Finale or something!

- Raven Queen going two for two on Rogues turned Paladin! Which is great, but now I have to replan Morrighan's moveset for that imaginary Critical Role fighting game that only exists in my head (somebody ask me about it please, I NEED to talk about it!) but at least she gets some Smite options out of the Bunny Hop command jump!

- Dariax is a Bard now too! That's honestly so perfect for Matt! And the fact that both Sorcerers and Bards are Charisma Casters makes me feel like the Synergies are gonna be great!

- Oh, Dorian, wonderful blue king... That's a lot of strength that your Dice will never agree to let you use for anything cool. I missed you SO MUCH!

- Speaking of that imaginary CR fighting game, this just solidified Opal as a puppet character. The tag combos with Ted would be WILD! Think Kenshi from MK1!

- Fy'ra Rai... Just... FY'RA RAI! Gods, I've missed Anjali at the table! Her memory with Opal, her tug-of-war with her thoughts about her sister... THE LAVA WHIP! Nothing sexier than Monks! Except a pissed off Wizard or Druid.

- On the other side of the table, I LOVE the moment the girls all collectively remembered they had to break the news to Frida... Oh, that's gonna hurt BAD!

- Anyone else noticed that Ashton is BURNT OUT and laying on the ground after his Titan form wears off, but Fearne just says she's really tired and just KEEPS GOING? Ashton is DONE for now, but Fearne needs to keep moving forward... Fuck, I love these two.

- Orym... Just... Orym. If you take a level in Barbarian after this, I wouldn't blame you.

- Side-Note: This means Dorian DID get Orym's last message before they went to the moon! He just didn't/couldn't answer! Which means, through the static and everything, Dorian COULD hear Orym! And now he's probably gonna get this message once the battle is over... Jesus, if they get to Zephra and Keyleth went to the Lodge next to the lake that's gonna be a problem...

- Side-Note Side-Note: Anyone else hoping to GOD that Allura called the Nein to help? Cause Beau and Caleb were involved, but now it feels like an "All Hands on Deck" situation, and we could use Kingsley's small army of pirates right about now...

- So much happened this episode between the grieving and the flashbacks and the rolling for handjobs that I didn't have time to process the splinter cell of Xhorhasians that split their soul in twain until I woke up... Opal may have forgotten, but maybe Ted hasn't? Though if they're the same person, maybe they both forgot...

- Aabria, the corrupting of the Memories was FOUL, I LOVE IT!!!

- Somebody needs to tell Essek about the soul-splitters. In fact, let's get to that while we deal with Ashton too!

- IF OPAL DIES, AMY CAN COME OVER AS DENI$E! Like, I don't WANT her to die, but Westruun isn't that far... 👀

- I just realized this is the first ever FULL episode of CR without Sam at the table... Fuck, man, when it hurts it hurts. Glad Marisha brought back the fan.

"Forgot the Consonants?" "No Letters." OUCH, MISS RAY, WHAT THE FUCK?!

- Raven Queen Paladins hasting themselves first thing in the fight. Vax is back, and he's a Bunny Girl now!

- I like that the Crownkeepers are a two-way Overwatch reunion (McCree Cassidy and Symmetra) and a three-way Persona 5 reunion (Yusuke, Ann Futaba and Akechi).

- Everything was so fucked this episode that everything with Liliana got knocked to the background for me, THAT'S how good it was!

- The SECOND Evoroa said Ludinos was on Exandria I knew EXACTLY where he would be! Now we HAVE to get the Nein involved, right? Unless the bastard makes the city float again...

I cannot WAIT for the next episode! And if Sam brings a new character when all the groups are together, it would be SPECTACULAR! I'm guessing he's going to play one of the moon races, because that just sounds cool... Either that or Tary!

[mugiwat]

My ship headcannons - zolu!!!

zoro’s first thought when he saw luffy for the first time was “who the fuck is this kid” And his second one was “why the fuck is he kind of cute tho”

zoro knew he had a huge crush on luffy starting waaaaay back to the first nights they met. Something about that little row boat, and the galaxy of stars in the sky, and the sheer wonderment of that straw hat boy that just lured him in

and luffy always knew about crushes and love and dating from his older brothers, but never REALLY understood what they were talking about…. Until he saw zoro

seeing luffy almost executed by buggy still keeps zoro up at night even years later

whisky peak was the biggest night of flirting ever. Including the big ass fight

Ace meeting them in Alabasta pushed luffy to fully realize his feelings…. He had to be the big brother and give luffy the reassurance and approval…. Also ace has a soft spot for Zoro, it’s the soft look in the sword man’s eyes whenever he looks at luffy

zoro and luffy 100% start dating right after luffy defeats crocodile. As soon as luffy wakes up in the castle, he sees zoro there and everything comes out. (Yes, they’re dating in the bath scene ;0)

Also the whole crew knows they’re dating instantly. And they make fun of zoro all of the time for it too, especially sanji

Skypiea is just their honeymoon

their favorite spot on merry is the crow’s nest in the evening with a warm blanket, watching the horizon for their next adventure

zoro lives for the moments where luffy can rely on him. Even if it’s sad and heartbreaking like Usopp leaving the crew temporarily or saying goodbye to merry (luffy cries into him bitterly only in private, he has to be a strong captain for his crew, but only zoro can see him this weak)

their favorite place on sunny is also the crow’s nest, but it’s a little more comfortable this time

no explanation needed on why zoro almost died in thriller bark (also you can’t convince me that “I’ll even share my lunch with you!” is not canon zolu)

the two year gap between them had unspeakable pain. Zoro seeing luffy in the papers and Ace dying almost had him run off the island until Mihawk stops him

luffy was impervious to hancock’s advances because he already figured he was in love with zoro. he didn’t need anyone else and no amount of seduction could change his hard head. (boa is still unaware of his and his first mate’s relationship. luffy honestly doesn’t care if she knows, but the others just rather not invoke the wrath of the pirate empress if she finds out she has been rejected and honestly luffy just figured she knows but she’s just stupid)

their 2 year reunion and seeing how strong (hot) they both have become makes every second away worth it. The crew respectfully gives them their time alone on the first night

luffy never asked zoro why he lost his eye, but he does kiss it every night

the crew sometimes forget the two only met each other not too long before the rest of them: their relationship is so natural and so rooted that it’s a shock that they haven’t known each other all their lives

only the east blue crew remember the frustrating flirting phase, minus chopper who was too dazzled by the crew prior to Alabasta

leaving the crew in Zoro’s hands while luffy got back sanji was the biggest honor. Zoro always takes his role as acting captain very seriously.

zoro hasn’t fully forgiven sanji yet for the pain that he caused Luffy in whole cake (it also took him longer time than the rest of the crew to truly forgive Robin and Usopp)

the Wano hug was 100% canon and 100% because the boyfriends hadn’t seen each other in like 2 weeks + the slight separation anxiety the two developed. (And i’m 100% on the oda ships zolu boat too)

everyone in the crew will eventually go their own paths after they reach their dreams, but zoro will remain with luffy until the end…. And beyond…

if luffy goes like Roger, 100% zoro will take the role of Rayleigh, telling of the fond stories of his captain and keeping his legacy

Let me know if u want me to share more or my sanuso headcannons

[clonebrainrot]

Bounty lost reaction and thoughts

I just love cad bane even if he is always stealing some kids

Ah that red lighting is back and I don’t like it

I love how fiesty omega is.

Todo will never not be great

Bane’s theme is always a blast

Cad bane is always so humble

Oh I completely forgot that this is the episode Tuan We dies. I miss her. Okay not really but still. She was the first kaminion we met

Oh Omega planting the seeds of doubt and then getting TODO to let you out smart. Just like your brothers

Tech coming in with more of the plot

Boba’s one reference in the show.

I love how exasperated Omega is.

I love how much she downplays her own skills

Omega is so innocent even when she is scheming

I really thought they were going to reveal some secrets about this facility later but they never did.

I really love the lightning of this episode

POV shots my beloved

Seth Green is always a treat even if we get him so few times in Star Wars.

Lol cid said she would not touch anything to do with Cad Bane with a ten foot pole

Ang does such a great job with omega she is extremely under appreciated when it comes to acting

By hook or by crook. Cad Bane is really entering his pirate phase

I’ll pour one out for Tuan We

It’s interesting it seems that Fennec and Bane have a history before.

I love the sound of Bane’s blasters they just sound so cool.

Todo took that grenade like a champ.

Even though dual weilding pistols is not realistic at all it is still cool as hell looking

Bane did not take that grenade like a champ

I really wonder how long this facility has been abandoned for. I would have loved to learn more about it.

Omega once again rescuing herself like a boss

Todo deserves better

All these aliens in a jar look creepy as hell

Lol at least you tried todo

That is gross as hell count me out on that one Fennec

Fennec you are not being very gentle with the bounty

I’m gonna be honest Fennec is doing to good against the person who is supposedly at this point the best bounty hunter in the galaxy I just wish she struggled more I guess

Todo is still trying his best and we love that for him

Bye bye Todo

Okay there we go bane is doing better now I kinda forgot he actually wins this fight

I spoke to soon he does not in fact win this fight lol although again I do think he totally should have

I absolutely love Omega and wreckers relationship I could talk about it for hours in fact I have

You know what I wonder when was season 1 of the bad batch written and when was the book of boba Fett written? I want to know it for the purpose of which inspired bane to appear in which show

Omega would in fact go back to Kamino

[anthromimicry]

hellooo, everyone! i hope all of y'all are having a good day so far... because i am here to once again lore dump on all of you all, which i apologize in advance for. but to expand more on that part in my doc where i wrote that one of misao's weaknesses is that she has an addictive personality, i mean that she is a 'love junkie' so-to-speak — and when i say that, i mean that she is very much an adrenaline seeker and/or actively seeks out adventure, which translates into her having this ongoing search for the dopamine rush that comes with starting a new relationship with someone. and whenever the original infatuation misao sometimes feels towards other people 'fades' ( since she has a fear of getting too close to someone and then having them abandon her... she often times will not allow herself to actually consider the possibility of getting into a deeper, more intimate relationship with someone, and stays stuck being in this phase where she's in love with this person in question but not in LOVE love with them if you catch my drift ) , for lack of better words, thing's go on to crash and burn because there wasn't enough of an emotional connection between them to keep the relationship they have going.

then misao is likely to just go look elsewhere for a new 'crush' or infatuation afterward; when, confronting herself as to why she is afraid of commitment and why she keeps on finding herself running from a relationship whenever she starts feeling even a bit 'too comfortable' around them, would probably be the best thing for her in reality. however... misao isn't really in a good place mentally in her current arc, so i feel as if it'll take a while for her to even acknowledge that this is indeed kind of a concerning behavior of hers. but i also meant that she has an ' addictive personality ' in other ways as well. like, i'm not going to lie, misao does overspend and could probably be considered as a ' shopaholic. ' and this behavior could have some linkage to her past seeing as she didn't have a lot as a child; not to say that anyone is at fault for that, of course. i just feel like misao feels this subconscious need to want to get things she likes the second she sees them now because she has the necessary resources to get them now ( which would be money, in this case ) when she didn't have them before. and the fact that buying something gives her this sense of instant gratification doesn't really help her case if i'm being honest. so, you could also definitely say that misao has a bit of trouble with controlling her impulses as well.

and speaking of impulses, there was also a time where misao very much overindulged in alcohol, particularly when she was still in japan + traveling with the japanese pirates that i had talked about a bit in one of my previous posts. this couldn't just be attributed to how abundant it was on the ship though; it also served as an unhealthy coping mechanism for her after her mother died and misao felt both like she was going nowhere in life + like she could go anywhere she wanted at the same time. the best way i could describe why misao felt like this was because she had never had that amount of freedom before in her life and that was quite the intimidating as well as somewhat harrowing thing to her to have to deal with. because although she might've felt alone before, misao did have her little half-brother with her and her mother, as well. but now she was running off with a bunch of pirates that she didn't know and although that part of her that craves adventure was very much satiated by this; pirates can honestly be very terrifying people.

though, once she had fallen in love with reika, thing's had certainly changed for her in a way. however... it couldn't erase that underlying emptiness that she felt in her heart at the time that was making her ask herself questions like ' why are you doing this? shouldn't you be doing something else, like taking care of ryu, for example? ' but misao kind of got swept away in all of the freedom she felt in the end ( which, she admittedly felt a bit selfish for ) , i think, and so these thoughts just started getting buried in the back of her mind. especially when they were coupled with alcohol. killing also provides her with a thrill, but she knows she has to be more careful now with when / where she does it. so that has kind of discouraged her from using it as an outlet in which she can seek her adrenaline rushes through... but yeah. i hoped y'all liked this little drabble of mine, though i know that it was actually super long and not actually ' little ' at all LOLLL.

[trevenbran]

I dreamed I was in neverland

Captain Hook needed a break because he was 100% done with pan's bullshit, so I took over as captain of the Jolly Roger.

Turns out with a suitably strong will and a vivid imagination, you don't need pixie dust to make a ship fly. Or phase it through solid barriers. It was a joy to sail in neverland, just for sailings sake, but I was looking for something.

we were looking for a magic item and some treasure, a pocket watch or something.

And I needed permission to sail into the tribal waters, because my destination could only be accessed through a straight they gaurded.

Tiger lilly and the Victorian depiction of native americans had been replaced in my dream by a Maori cheiftaness with one eye and a huge Waka taua along with a fleet of other war canoes.

She thought it was annoying that the jolly Roger was so cumbersome compared to her own vessels, but she allowed me to sail her waters under escort. We parted ways amicably at the edge of her territory.

Eventually I found the pirate tomb where the treasure was supposedly hidden. My crew were extremely superstitious and would not help open it. So I used my will to dig through the stone with my hands. It was a sensation akin to digging through cold, sandy mud, as I forced the stone to yield with my mind.

When the seal was removed, the pirate ossuary was revealed; the only grave in neverland.

Inside, there was an old tarnished skeleton watch. It was stopped. My crew told me that winding it and starting it once again was how a pirate died. The crew member who wound it would have untill the watch wound down again to live.

Hook stepped out of the shadows then, and asked for it. When I gave it to him, he tucked it into his vest pocket and thanked me for finding it for him. I do not know when he intended to use it, if at all. Perhaps he just wanted to have it nearby.

I'll probably never know. With a sad smile, Hook thanked me, and the dream ended.

[neverhangd]

doing bits and bobs on the blog, obviously. rn i'm in potc hell (thank the gang lmao, s/o for dealing with me go to: @mvrtogg, @itismissswann, @norringtxn / @collectorofmuses), and i just realized that the majority of people who follow me may not have read this page (or even known it existed!), so i wanted to give two important bits of context!

1.) anne bonny walked so her archetypes could run.

i literally found out two weeks ago that anne bonny isn't stupid famous. whaaaaaat? but actually, that did shock me. maybe it's because i had two pirates phases and like research, but i've known a little bit about her since i was a kid: specifically, that she was a kick-ass pirate woman. i've learned a lot more since then, and i love to share it; i joined a group that i thought had a pirate phase only to learn that...they hadn't. and had no idea who anne bonny was outside of being a character someone before me had written as well.

it was exactly then that i realized anne bonny isn't a super famous kick-ass pirate woman and i felt like that one part of dogma. someone was trying to explain how my take on anne bonny both was and wasn't in-line with the previous writer's and it took me a while to realize they were asking what show or book i used for canon because they doubted she was the same character, despite sharing the archetypes. so. just so it's out there, here's an incomplete list of archetypes we can apply to the historical figure anne bonny, kick-ass pirate woman:

riches to rags (gave up a privileged life to marry a pirate)

the redhaired irish

girlboss/tits out for piracy (she would famously whip her shirt off in battle so men would know they'd been killed by a woman)

did it for love (left her first husband and became a pirate with her second)

it's a love story (whatever else they were, history tells us jack and anne were in love, even if i don't usually use that on this blog)

three's company, too (anne and read were absolutely an item at the same time as anne and jack)

ambiguously queer (i advocate for a bisexual anne, but the only lady-type lover she took was read, who can be fairly read as transmasc, putting some doubt on the full connotation of her orientation/s)

short fuse (she was known to fight over basically anything)

2.) what in the url?

since anne bonny isn't the kickass pirate bicon of my dreams--we'll get her there, one day!--it's relevant to also share what the fuck my url actually means. because she was a woman a pirate a woman and a pirate alive during the early 18th century, we actually don't have much record of anne speaking for herself. the most popularly known quote we have was spoken directly to jack rackham just before his execution:

if [you] had fought like a man, [you] need not have been hang'd like a dog. -A General History of Pyrates, Daniel Defoe

she said this to him because he and his men were the reason the ship had been caught and they had been taken prisoner and she took that very personally, as well she should! (it turns out that both anne and read were pregnant, anne by jack and read by their husband.) the larger thing is, she wasn't wrong: when the ship was invaded, only three people stood on the deck fighting: read, anne, and an unnamed pirate who presumably died in the struggle. everyone else was hiding below decks. read, in fact, famously fired TWICE down at the hiding men, killing one and injuring another.

the really wild part of all this, though, is the ending of anne's story. we don't know it.

anne's execution was stayed on account of her pregnancy, as was read's. read would die in prison from a fever, and presumably their child did as well; anne, on the other hand, simply...disappeared.

...but what is become of her since, we cannot tell; only this we know, that she was not executed. -A General History of Pyrates, Daniel Defoe (which, if you keep wondering why i'm referencing it, is considered THE source)

officially speaking, we may literally NEVER know what happened to anne. all we know is she NEVERHANGD.*

thank you for your time and attention! ♡

[honourablejester]

Numenera Character Concept: Aeveen Seersha

Following on from my previous post about a Numenera campaign concept starting in Ancuan, because my favourite part of the Steadfast is definitely the more maritime parts, and because the concept of the Redfleet (rogue pirate oceanographers and marine scientists with their own fleet of submarine bioships, what a concept) is incredible, I wanted to make a Redfleet character.

Aeveen Seersha, an Earnest Jack who Learns from Adversity.

It’s an old Kaparin story. The fleet goes out, not all of the fleet comes back. Aeveen, like many other Kaparin street rats, was orphaned by the sea. She grew up in the school of hard knocks on Kaparin’s streets and underneath Kaparin’s docks. But she never let it bother her, never let it harden her. You learn what you have to learn, you do what you have to do, but you don’t have to be mean about it. You don’t have to be tricky or treacherous or cruel. Make your way honestly while you can, and be honest about it when you can’t. And she never let the loss of her parents blind her to the beauty and mystery and majesty of the sea, either. The opposite, if anything. She spent hours as a child at the RFM, the maritime museum, marvelling at all the creatures and recordings and stories of the vast mysteries of the ocean. Her parents died out there, sure. But they died doing something amazing. Something, she vowed, that she would one day do as well. She’d be a proper oceanographer when she grew up, a true ocean explorer. And she’d find something special. Just one thing, don’t be greedy about it. But one thing to be remembered by. That’s her goal in life.

Aeveen is a Tier 1 Jack from the School of Hard Knocks. She has a Might Pool of 13, a Speed Pool of 12, an Intellect Pool of 16, and an Intellect Edge of 1.

Her Jack Tricks of the Trade are Fleet of Foot (move faster than normal for one round, costs speed points) and Phased Pocket (gain access to a transdimensional storage pocket for 1 hour for 2 intellect points, extend duration at a rate of 2pts/hr).

She’s earnest, straight-forward, smart and tough, and has learned and toughened from her hardships. She’s trained in persuasion, oceanography, sailing, seeing underlying patterns, solving puzzles, providing consolation and emotional support, initiative, and defence rolls against disease and poison. She’s hindered when it comes to tasks to see through lies and trickery. Her Flex Skill is often used for swimming, navigation or perception.

Her father, who was a very skilled man, was her idol as a kid, until he went out with the fleet one day and never came back. While she’s not necessarily credulous, she believed every fantastic story he or her mother ever told her, and she’s inclined to believe them from other people, too. Everyone’s heard or even seen some of the things that are out there. Why would people need to lie, when all of that is already true? It wasn’t until some of her own teenage exploits started to be blown out of proportion that she started to grasp that the truth is often exaggerated in the telling, even when there is some truth. She never wrestled a monstrous squid creature on the docks and stabbed it through the eye with a spear. She stabbed a mostly dead squid creature on the docks, a prize from one of the Redfleet vessels that wasn’t quite as dead as everyone thought, and by more luck than judgement managed to be the one to get it where it counted. But to hear some people tell it, she was always a maritime monster hunter in the making. Aeveen never wanted to hunt anything. She wanted to learn about things. And at least some people, particularly the staff around the maritime museum that she constantly pestered growing up, did see and nuture that side of her. She has a compass, her most prized possession, given to her by one of the caretakers of the museum, maybe a little bit because Aeveen had more patience for her tales of her own long-gone glory days than most. She’s always looking for a crew to join, a taste of her discoveries waiting to happen.

(Aeveen’s connections from her type, focus and description were rolled/chosen as follows: “You worked alongside your father, who was skilled in many things, until he disappeared one day without explanation. Pick one other PC. This character believes you’re some kind of legend based on a decade-old story about you that’s grown in the telling. Sometimes, that makes you confident. Other times, it’s a lot to live up to. Link to starting adventure: Another PC told you what they were up to, and you joined them.” Earnest also gives you an addition item worth up to 10 shins that a friend gave you because of your earnestness, hence the compass).

Aeveen has also amassed an odd collection of objects over the years, from friends, from piles of junk stored in the back rooms of the maritime museum, and in one case literally washed up on the beach. She found a strange device in the back of the RFM storage once, an odd glove that felt weird, so she brought it to her caretaker friend, who confirmed that it was a numenera device that they’d forgotten to sell, something that would let her talk to someone she touched in their heads for a while. She might as well keep it, if she wanted. Another item was a gift to her from a woman who’d crewed with her parents once, a sort of gruff gesture of ‘I’m sorry they’re dead’. It was an ointment made from a strange sea creature, a vicious blue starfish creature, which would allow anyone who used it to regrow a limb just like that starfish. The woman had held up her own hand in demonstration, where three bright blue fingers and a part of the palm had been regrown from what had clearly been a bite mark. Aeveen hopes she’ll never have to use it, but, you know. It’s a handy thing to have if you ever do need your arm regrown after a sea monster bites it off? So she thanked the woman, entirely genuinely, and has kept the little tube on her person ever since. And then, one day not too long ago, she found a strange box washed up on the stones underneath the docks. Another of the sea’s strange gifts. A tiny little box, that she opened it showed her the vast emptiness between the stars. As above, so below. A world of mystery, like she’d always known. It only spurred her desire to make some part of it, some story of it, her own.

(I rolled in the Technology Compendium for her 2 cyphers and 1 oddity, and got the above. A Mental Coupling glove, a tube of Regrow, and a tiny box oddity that reveals the emptiness of space. The tube of regrow in particular felt very much like the sort of thing a town obsessed with the natural properties of oceanic life would have come up with, so that was fun).

So. Aeveen Seersha, a tough little scrapper with big dreams and maybe a teensy bit of a gullible streak, who wants to sail out into the wild blue yonder and make her mark on the world. Even if, like her parents, she has to die for it.

[anacecherry]

Ace Lore

Everyone in my friend cycle is posting their lore and Louie gave me the idea to make my own as well so here we go. Kept switching between 3rd person and 1st person because I felt like using both so the phrasing may seem weird

This isn't in any order I wrote them down as they came to my mind

Named Ace because of Among Us

Had a Danganronpa phase in 2020

Was a mod in dr-transparents

Also had a dr edit blog have fun trying to find that one

Used to be homophobic but one day during breakfast I asked my mom if being gay was a sin and she just thought for a second and said no so I stopped being homophobic

Dad in jail (out in march 9 😎)

Watched the entire mcu once

Goes to one of the greatest schools around the area and its shit

Watches how to learn Turkish videos despite being turkish

Has been pirating movies ever since I started using computers because I didn't know you had to pay for it until 3 years ago

Has an """uncle""" and """aunt""" thats younger than me (the aunt is a toddler)

First experience with the sonic franchise was that flash fangame based on sonic advance 2 and I thought Knuckles was a girl

Has an evil twin named Allo, who likes reddit and men

Knows every single frame of animation in Rise of the TMNT

funneylizzie follows me. I forget about that a lot.

The only person that never misread Penosh's og url

.w batman

Will :handshake: me

The CEO of Rise Casey Jones (Cassandra)

The mere sight of Cjj is enough to fill me with rage

Got kicked out of a toh youtubers server bc I tried to explain the owner that the potion coven was, in fact, a real coven and not just a track that they only teach at Hexide

Once woke up and saw a short weird girl with long black hair watching me from the side of my bed, she disappeared after I closed and opened my eyes again. No it wasn't sleep paralysis.

Has a sunflower seed addiction

I was Penosh's first follower I think that should be here

The 6 kittens we took care of after their mom died, most didn't last 2 months alive, the 5th one ran away like an idiot and the 6th lives with our neighbors and hates us

Most likely had a crush on my middle school best friend

Says "Lan" a lot in real life my friends think it's funny

Grew up near the sea so Im immune to the smell of fish

Remembers her first earthquake in 3rd person

When I clear out likes it takes a long time and I end up rebloging a lot of posts, and it might happen again & will be real big this time so be prepared

The Ralsei icon is traced from the og sprite from Deltarune and I will never ever change it it is a part of my identity now

Url used to be tsundere-blue-cherry before I changed it

The first time I remember throwing up might be one of my core memories. did you know you cant talk when you're just about to vomit

Has headaches forever ever since elementary school

Had a budgie named Şans that flew away because mom kept forcing us to keep the windows open

When I was ~6 I a dream where a Caillou toy that I had came to life and I got so scared that I tore it apart and ran. When I woke up I checked the drawer I put the toy parts in and he was still there and greeted me I screamed and slammed it shut and never looked at that drawer again

Ayıcık the teddy bear

Had 2 imaginary friends and one of them was a mirror

Diagnosed as American

I have cherry in my url but cannot eat cherries bc when eating cherries I realized it had worms in it and it happened twice and I have not been able to eat cherries without drowning in anxiety ever again

My youngest sister called my middle sister Dede despite her name not having those letters in it and the word dede meaning grandpa in our language. We started calling her that as well

Had a dream, before the sonic 2 trailer came out, where the trailer released and it was normal except Boom Knuckles was there as a separate character from normal Knuckles and had his model from the show

Made up number lore when I was younger

Uses light mode

[generalgri3vous]

TIFU by accidentally making Pirate Sans

i was just trying to make a swashbuckler skeleton. his name is Inigo Bonetoya, he was based off of The Princess Bride. Everything was fine.

i had accidentally made Pirate Sans.

i had completely forgotten about undertale when i drew him, but now i realize that me trying to stylize a skeleton has turned him into sans. but a pirate.

and i get it. my laptop drawn refsheet DOES look like i never left my undertale phase, even if this character is for pathfinder and has more than 1hp to his name.

i had even made his swashbuckling style Wit, so he could insult people in battle to gain panache. this silly goofy character made as one big meme because our party is full of stuff like that had become the biggest meme of all. originally his trombone skills was in reference to the doot doot low-poly skeleton, but i GUESS now a kazoo version of meglovania plays when he fights.

EVEN THE PROFILE PICTURE I DREW OF HIM

it was supposed to be green. but COLORBLIND ME went and made it NEON BLUE

even his subrace, Monstrous Skeleton i picked so he could have a claw attack. NOPE. JUST SANS

am i going to run with this? of course. i didn't make a skeleton who died of food poisoning, thought he was murdered and came to seek unnecessary revenge just to dump it because he became an entirely different meme!

he even has a rival! a zombie pirate, dressed in all black and rather polite for a murderer. the "Dead Pirate Roberts" NOTHING about him but an unfortunate resemblance is undertale related. its like trying to make a tortle character without turning the damn thing into a ninja turtle.

tldr: local nerd makes skeleton character based off of The Princess Bride, makes pirate sans on accident.

[calamitoustide]

Do tell me more about Lilylene I want to ship them so badly

Okay so here's the thing! I did not like Lilylene at all until I thought of them in the context of Chloe and Max from Life is Strange. I saw this edit and it just opened my eyes to them.

They are just very nostalgic to me. Not in the sense that I feel nostalgic for them, but they just feel nostalgic that's what their relationship is to me.

I have two cases one in aus and one in canon, and we'll see if either of them grabs you. In the au I see them as childhood friends, not in the they were friends in elementary school and moved away from each other, they don't recognize each other or remember each other's faces. No I mean they were inseparable as children up until they were thirteen. They shared everything together, they were always at each other's houses, and messing around in the backyard. They were pirates together, and they did messy science experiments together. They always ate together at lunch, and immediately raced each other to the swings at recess so they could be the first ones there. They were inseparable! They were everything to each other! Then one day Lily moves away and even though she promised to stay in touch she doesn't, life gets busy and things get in the way. Marlene resents her for it and goes through a very rebellious teen phase. She dyes her hair and doesn't listen to her parents. She sneaks out at night, but she's just so lonely. She's screaming out for someone to notice her, but she's also isolating herself because she can't feel another loss like Lily again. They come back together and it's just so nostalgic, it's like no time has passed at all. Marlene yells at Lily she's so fucking pissed at her but she's missed her and she loves her. She lets her in again. Lily is the same old Lily Evans that she's always been, and Marlene tried to cut herself away from her. She tried to reinvent herself and separate herself from Lily but she's still the same, she's the same girl who was left behind. They come back together and it's like the universe finally can rest again. They were always meant to be there.

Now.... in canon they meet at eleven so they don't have the whole break when their thirteen they're with each other the entire time. I see them as having a very not so much as messy but blurry relationship. They're always around each other, and on top of each other at that but they never label anything. They're just Lily and Marlene that's how they are. Everyone thinks they're dating but they don't think so, it's a very natural progression for them. They don't date anyone else, but they don't make anything else official either. One day they have a huge falling out, it's bad, and they swear they're never going to speak again. It's closer to the end of school Marlene goes to Dorcas right after. Lily goes to James, and they're just circling in separate orbits from then on. They're together. They're close but never close enough. When Marlene dies Lily is met with this overwhelming grief that won't go away. She realizes just what Marlene meant to her. She realizes how much love she has for her still. She realizes that Marlene was it for her, no matter how she could've had her. She's in hiding at the time, she can't even go to the funeral she can't do anything. She's been spending her days looking at dark magic to save her baby, to save Harry. One night lost in grief she uses those same books to find a way to turn back time, to bring Marlene back to life. To tell her everything she never done before. The rewrite what she wronged. She never ends up being able to before she dies herself, but god did she want to.

I just feel like they are the childhood friends-to-lovers trope. I know a lot of people say that's marylily but I disagree there's nothing as pure as Lily and Marlene as childhood friends to lovers, they are so fucking nostalgic it kills me. They are so in love with each other.

I'm not sure if you'll see it, and I'm not expecting you to play all of Life is Strange to understand them the way I do. But those are my thoughts!

[mitchiegonewild]

bitchie mitchies aot cinematic universe pt. 2

since you guys seemed to like the other ones, i have PLENTY more in my notes app:

connies a gumball (awog) kinnie 

historia binged all of stranger things in 3 days and she hates the show

ymir listens to lil peep 😟

eren INSISTED on going as rainbow dash for halloween for ages 5-9

armin can TWERK OMG

mikasa makes her own soaps and their names are always something like “deaththroat orgasm” or “beta male sweat and tears”

armin has a shrimp allergy and everyone found out when they went to the beach and he ate shrimp scampi and almost fucking died in a pineapple willy’s 

on the same trip, levi and erwin fucked in a margaritaville bathroom while wasted on said margaritas

hitch gaslit everyone into thinking she went to their school only for annie to tell them “oh she doesn’t she just likes to mess with peoples heads”

armins their discord mod

jean posts marco to ALL of those couple-y tiktok audios 

gabi got in trouble for being a habitual grass eater in pre k

falco provided more grass when she was in time out. he is not an innocent man

zeke and levi brutally fist fought outside of a chili’s while eren, mikasa, armin, historia, and erwin stood to the side and watched

bertholdt had a “soft uwu boy” era in quarantine

reiner videos annie eating and then puts sad music over it

connie is unaware pirating movies and music is illegal and has been doing both since he was seven

one of those mall interviewers came up to sasha and mikasa and sasha bit his mic

armins name in erens phone is “malewife🥰💗”. jurys still out on whether or not its ironic

bertholdt was on witchtok for a month and they’re not even wiccan

ymir kills wasps with her bare hands 

hangë has access to levi’s twitter account but levi’s never on twitter so he doesn’t know. hangë posts truly the most heinous shit on there

moblit gets hangë a box of organ-shaped chocolates every year for valentine’s day

onyankopon had a hamilton phase

& bertholdt had a be more chill phase 🗿

erwin proposed to levi three times before levi accepted to “make sure he wanted to be married”

armin did a magic routine for the eighth grade talent show and killed that shit. they won 1st place

connie & ymir have neck yourself battles. ymir is currently winning

ymir also has the humor of a 12 boy addicted to fidget spinner 

annie is a manager at mcdonald’s and loudly proclaims her hatred for it

erwin carries a glock everywhere he goes. bro is strapped up fr

the first time bertholdt had a panic attack in front of reiner, reiner freaked out and gave his beats to them and played dubstep to try and get him to concentrate on something else

jean only says “balls” like cartman does (bawlz)

bertholdt does not know what MILF stands for

hitch has a monster can wall

sasha does this thing where if anyone yawns she shoves her fingers in their mouth and yells “CHICKEN FINGER”

erwin has a tiktok account to monitor what his kids post & he comments on them

levi calls mikasa brat number 1, historia brat number 2, and armin brat number 3

levi calls eren, sasha, & ymir his “forth, fifth, & sixth brat”

reiner has memorized all of the wenomechainasama spellings

bertholdt is a clairo enthusiast 

annie CANNOT STAND the smell of pork

zeke has a podcast

pieck is his editor and trolls the shit out of him with it

mikasa knows how to vogue & death drop

reiner does that thing where he plays tiktok audios and pretends he’s in an edit

mikasa is the biggest fucking internet troll but is supremely undercover about it

the only person who knows is jean because he’s her favorite victim but nobody believes him when he tells them

another one of sasha’s tiktoks blew up & it was a “baby got back” dance that she did with armin and connie and all of the comments were like “THE TWINK CARRIED THIS” or “GO CAILLOU GO”

zeke accidentally married a stripper in vegas one time. she was super chill about the divorce and they keep in touch

pieck collects shiny things

niccolo beat connie with a remote control because every time mario said “it’s-a me, mario!” connie would whisper “it’s-a me, niccolo!”

[unsoundedcomic]

I don't know about obsession, but if i may ask...

Do you like Moby Dick because it may be based in a true story or because it's written so well??

It's certainly inspired by the true story of the Essex, which was rammed by a sperm whale. Back in the old days it was considered kind of unseemly to write pure fiction. Novels needed to be a travelogue or a biography or a historical account or a religious morality tale - at least on the surface. Pure fiction was too much like a lie, and could get you a dark reputation.

So yes, most of Melville's books were "based" on real events, either others' accounts or stories from his own colourful youth and later travels. But once you read them, you see the narrative is just an excuse for explorations of social or philosophical themes and ideas. Though his first two books were more straightforward travelogues, he couldn't afterwards write anything straightforward to save his life. His readers at the time felt betrayed by this - they'd liked his funny, scary adventures in the South Seas! - but they didn't understand the rest and stopped buying his books. Melville eventually gave up his writing career, got a day job, and died in obscurity.

I mention all this because Herman Melville the man is a big reason why I like Herman Melville's writing. His life was fascinating, sad, and we know a lot about it. It's brilliant stuff to study. His writing, too, is fascinating and sad. I'll just stick to Moby-Dick here but I love all his work.

Moby-Dick was the first novel I ever read that felt like the author was speaking directly to me. I was in high school when I first came across it - I was going through a pirate phase and it was on my list - and it stopped me dead in my tracks. It's not just a novel; it's an anachronistic multimedia experiment. It mixes prose and script and poetry and quotes and dictionary entries with elegant language and salty sailor speak. It's eloquent and disgusting, elevated and deeply down in the dirt and foam. It is an explosion of contrast, a constant seesaw back and forth between the narrative reality of a captain obsessively hunting a whale, and a common sailor named Ishmael reflecting on what that hunt means, what whales mean, what the colour white means, what the sky means, what the universe means. In his ruminations, nothing is dismissed. He wasn't dusty Hawthorne obsessing over the Bible; instead he was a sailor with a wide but naive breadth of knowledge of "Eastern religions," Asian history, "South Seas cannibals," so you never know what he's going to bring up. His was the kind of eclectic thinking that you didn't often see expressed with such eloquence in the 1850s.

So yeah, I like it a lot because it's written really well :)

But also, it's very raw, and you feel the sloppy earnestness of Melville on every page. He's trying so hard to communicate with you and - knowing that so many of his contemporaries didn't understand him - it makes you feel kind of special and connected with him when you do understand what he's saying, and you agree. It's a novel that benefits in a very unique way from NOT murdering the author; from understanding who the author was, what he went through, how exuberant he was for so long and then how much the exigencies of publishing and finances beat him down.

We people who love Moby-Dick tend to really love Moby-Dick. I'm certain Melville himself is a big reason for this. We connect with his struggles. We celebrate the immortality of all artists by raising up his work and reaching back through the centuries to take his tarry hand.

[grunklestanofficial]

Hey I got genshin brain rot and for that I am infodumping every thought I’ve had about my personal AU where everything is the same except Kaeya is a teenager. Like around Bennet & Razor age.he is teen bro

Main Story Bits

Kaeya gets found by Crepus when he is actual baby, does not have any memory of Khaenri'ah save for very vague infant memories of the aesthetic. For a while everyone’s best guess for his origins is that a group from Sumeru had a really unfortunate fate, based on the general wreckage he was found in.

Your usual fluffy headcanons about a happy Ragnvindr childhood. Kaeya never doubts himself as part of the family but he does have this desire to learn more about where he originally came from. He’s real into learning about Sumeru culture and customs and Crepus and Diluc do their best to support it!

Actually doesn’t wear an eyepatch for most of his early life. Crepus took him to a pediatrician and it was like “yeah I guess it’s weird but he doesn’t seem to have vision problems so let’s say heterochromia”

The brothers still have estrangement issues in present times because that’s what happens when you’re like eleven, your dad dies, and your older brother/only living relative leaves to go on a vengeance quest

But also there’s estrangement because on the night of Crepus death /something/ happens. A something that Kaeya can’t fully remember other than it gave him a vision and that clues Diluc in that his baby brother has more intense origins than he thought. Kaeya’s eye is more for just looking pretty, And the Abyss does not need someone to know they are a spy to make use of what they can see.

This doesn’t mean Diluc /blames/ him but it’s definitely sort of a “I have to keep my distance while I’m looking for information to help him to protect Kaeya from the Abyss order” kind of situation and both of their communication is pretty shit

Dilic comes back with the impression that his baby brother has entered his angsty teen phase from how he behaves around him. Kaeya also thinks Diluc is in his angsty teen phase.

Kaeya holds an honorary knight position like the Traveler rather than being an official captain in the Ordo, both due to his age and because he feels he has a bigger duty of being responsible for the winery as the only member of his family in Mondstadt for three years (and there’s no theoretical emotional hang ups for taking up that responsibility like with canon Kaeya) If you are a snooty wine tasting businessman saying he doesn’t know anything about wine when he can’t legally drink it he will humiliate you.

Still has sort of an information network going on but it’s mainly sourced on him publicly being a Good Good Boy and all the grannies in Mondstadt want to give this Nice Young Man the hot goss. Dorothy thinks she’s all that with her prize winning Ceclias but did you hear her grandson is looking into being a Treasure Hoarder? smh smh

Maybe he finds out about the Darknight Hero and forces Diluc into doing some Batman and Robin shit idk.

Other Extra Tidbits

Kaeya and Fischl are besties, eyepatch solidarity. Kaeya had a chunni pirate phase and that’s why he wears the eyepatch.

No one has told him that Grandpa Ragnvindr  was not actually a pirate.

Barbara and Kaeya are also friends in a “we had to hang out while our siblings hung out” kind of way

Rosaria is considered by Kaeya to be the coolest person in Mondstadt (and he’s right) and sees her as a role model. Rosaria’s def aware that she should probably be a responsible adult to keep him from going down a similar path as her but she is not. The best. At role modeling. She will let him have cigarettes if he asks is all I am saying.

Actually he and Bennett are also ride or die. Oh you can’t handle being part of Benny’s adventure team? Sad. Kaeya’s built different. Bennett will also be brought along to ask Rosaria for cigarettes behind the church.

If anyone does wanna do anything with these ideas  you can totally go for it as long as there’s proper crediting. I sort of have a plot hook idea of “ Canon Diluc goes into a funky domain, comes out and learns he swapped places with his alternate self and has to Deal With It and uncovering what sort of research Alt!Diluc was doing.”, but that is also open because me gathering enough spoons together to write a narrative story is a pipe dream.

[lovenona]

neptune’s hands

synopsis; they say his arrival on shore is like witnessing the end of the world. part one of the odyssey, a pirate! jujutsu kaisen cinematic universe; based on this drabble

warnings; mentions of blood, murder, general violence 

word count; 3.0k 

they say he arrives with the smell of sulfur.

it’s a symbol, they say, of hell. suffering, death, the afterlife – whatever you’d like to call it. it’s not a pretty thing. he likes to remind his prey, they slur over their words, coughing up ale and cigar smoke.

remind them of what? but the question remains unanswered.

he is, after all, a story: a wives’ tale, an anecdote taken from the sea to be presented with gusto in brothels and bars over the soundtrack of laughter and gambling and moaning. the name sukuna ryoumen suggests a terrifying story, but that’s all he is – a name in an endless competition for attention for the best tale, the most exciting adventure on the water.

some boastful visitors claim they’ve met him and survived, but you know that’s not true. every pirate who has ever uttered the name sukuna knows the truth: to meet him is to die. to look upon his face is to gaze into the depths of human suffering. entire fleets have fallen mercy to his indescribable power. once, the one-eyed pirate claimed that sukuna plundered the sea’s most powerful trading fleet before beheading the captains and sinking the ships.

he doesn’t use them? you’d asked. aren’t those good ships? wouldn’t a pirate want one?

but the pirate had only laughed at your naivety. perhaps a man would. but he is a curse. he does not need them.

the most fervent among you believe that sukuna is not a man at all, but some kind of deity – an oceanic demon or a god, perhaps, or a monster summoned from the depths to perform moral judgment on those unlucky enough to cross him. four arms, red eyes; when you step outside to take breaks during your apprenticeship, studying the ink underneath your fingernails, you try to imagine what he must look like.

but you shake it from your mind, of course. such gods do not exist in your little world.

so it goes. on your lackluster island, with your lackluster apprenticeship, surrounded by the tepid warmth of the sea, you watch the world go by in phases. time means nothing but the arrival and departure of the pirates that frequent your shores. a ship docks; the inhabitants drink away their fortunes; a ship departs; the sailors seek a new ship to ravage. they tell you that a universe exists beyond the horizon. for a moment, they might even keep you company. but then they leave, and you are left with the printing master and his wife who find entertainment in parading their countless lovers.

you were born here. the printing master was not. you have known nothing but the steadiness of the printing press and the shifting faces at the pubs on the dock: and yet you desperately want to know if the stories are true, if there really is more to your existence than the smell of ink and vomit and wild boars.

of course he’s not real, the master scolds you. i’ve sailed my fair share in this life and i’ve never seen anything like him.

but that’s the point, you’re always quick to defend. if you see him, he’ll kill you.

the master will scoff as he reads his proofs. they are drunkards. they don’t tell the truth. the only thing those pirates are good for is their money – now, help me set the type.

the conversation dies. and so it goes.

– –

it is a lazy summer afternoon when the one-eyed pirate’s ship returns to port. a particular stillness lingers in the air, stagnant, as if the island itself were perpetually paused in breath. in the oppressive silence you swear you hear the grunts of the boars in the woods outside town. slowly, tiredly, the one-eyed pirate’s ship vomits forth its contents: hungry sailors, bags of gold, stolen tapestries, spices, rolls and rolls of fabric. voices hang heavy in the air, piercing the thick humidity; sweat pools under shirtsleeves.

when the printing master releases you that evening, you quietly make your way down to the one-eyed man’s preferred alehouse as you buzz with the possibility of a new story. after months of solitude, you are empty: even at night, you have dreamt less about adventure and more about the whir of the printing press and the dirt stains on the master’s shoes.

so you think nothing of the chaos inside the pub. it is only a homecoming, you think. nothing new, nothing less. the shouts only signify the joy of returning to land. perhaps later tonight they will all visit their women.

but – wait – the one-eyed pirate barely recognizes you as you approach his table. he writhes inconsolably, desperately, as if he know longer knew he was human. beside him, another sailor pats his feverish skin and begs him to take a sip of his ale.

“i saw him,” the one-eyed pirate seethes, words slurred from alcohol, his crazed gaze looking somewhere just behind you. “but you don’t understand, i saw sukuna.”

“that wasn’t him,” the comrade attempts to soothe him.  he glances at you apologetically. “he’s been out of his mind these past few days, haven’t ya?”

the one-eyed pirate grasps your hands; his calloused hands tremor like an earthquake. “i saw him not three days ago. he looked right inside me.” he’s shouting now; you feel the eyes of the pub on your party in silent condemnation.

“he did no such thing,” the comrade says. he angrily waves away the looks from curious onlookers before explaining, “we passed an unmarked ship on our way here, and this fella swears he saw a monster on board. claims they were flying a cursed flag and everything. says it was sukuna.” he scoffs.

the one-eyed man shakes his head furiously, a salty tear falling into his untamed beard. his hands grip yours so tightly that his knuckles turn white. “his eyes were red,” he moans. “he looked right inside me.”

you try to comfort your friend despite the unease that grows in your stomach. burning uncomfortably beneath the attention of the others, you silently beg for the pirate’s expression to falter, for him to wake up and tell you all he was dreaming. the air is too still. there was nothing he could have seen.

“it will be fine,” you tell him softly, and you repeat it as if it were medicine. “you were probably imagining things. it’s all right. he’s just a good story after all.” somehow, somewhere, it hurts to admit it out loud.

but try as you might, the one-eyed pirate doesn’t believe you. “no one who meets him survives,” he whispers. “he is coming for me. i swear it.”  

– –

you smell it moments after making sure the one-eyed man made it to his inn in one piece. after another hour of howling about his own eternal condemnation, you and a few others managed to convince the one-eyed pirate to retire to the brothel and sleep away his worries. as you begin your journey home to the printing master, you watch a cloud swallow the moon. the humid air hangs still around you like a thick coat you did not ask for. it’s much too hot tonight.

you hear nothing, but you smell it just after rounding the butcher’s corner. something like rotten eggs floats in on the wind, congested and swirling, much too sour to breathe. it turns over in your stomach, unwelcome. he is coming for me, i swear it, you muse. you know sukuna is a bad omen, but can you be blamed for your mild interest? can you be blamed for dreaming about what is shrouded in mystery?  

sulphur. you recognize the scent as it finally chokes you, as the summer night makes it a mission to smother you before you can ever get home. you turn back towards the direction of the sea. there are no answers but the dark windows of shops, the echoes of the inebriated lapping at your heels. it is much too still; it is all too well.

a coincidence, you finally decide. or maybe?

five hundred feet later and you hear the first scream.

you don’t know who it is or where it came from, but your feet are moving before it registers: away, get away. you’re running without thought, watching your body move in ways beyond your control. run. run.

this is not the first time your little port has been threatened by vicious outsiders. but, as you register the shriek of another victim, this is the first time there have simply been too many coincidences in one night for you not to feel the fear..

the sulphuric smell is stronger now, and it mixes with the essence of blood, of violence, of horror. there are too many voices. someone shouts a defense strategy, but you are too far gone to participate. you pass the printing master’s home, pass the mayor’s house, pass the young folk sharpening their swords in anticipation of a fight against the unidentified enemy. perhaps once you would have joined them. but the smell terrifies you, electrifies you: it is the smell and the warning of the one-eyed pirate who saw sukuna and lived.

someone starts a fire down by the docks. you pause to watch the smoke curl into the air, watch the hordes of townspeople haul their treasures towards the woods. better to risk the boars and bury gold in the trees than for it to be stolen, after all.

and still the smell chokes you.

you do not remember where you ran, or where you gained your energy, or how you arrived without incident, all things considered, but you notice after nearly vomiting up your dinner that there is sand beneath your boots. the clouds swallow the moon and the night is too dark as you sweat profusely and catch your breath and smell the sulfur hanging in the air.

you pause. the beach. the port is being invaded and you ran to the fucking beach. in the distance, a mile or two down the shoreline, you see the docks and the pubs and the familiar inns bathed in an orange glow. you could laugh – you had not run away from the danger, but towards it. you knew. you knew you would not be happy if you could not confirm your suspicions for yourself.

a nightmare. another scream, somewhere off. the clash of metal. a yell.

deep down, you know the one-eyed pirate is dead.

something shifts behind you. a thick bead of sweat runs down your cheek, shakes hands with the humid air. slowly, holding your breath, you turn.

when you look back on the memory, you think the first thing you noticed is not his eyes, glowing red in the dark, but his hands: uncannily massive, spotted with someone else’s blood, filled with golden rings that he acquired from corpses. those hands would swallow you whole if you let them. they never mentioned the breadth of his hands in the stories. you cannot look away.

you watch him, and he watches you; the moon reveals itself, and you are bathed in a faint silver glow. beside you, the sea sways like liquid metal. his gaze freezes you to the spot, and somehow, you find that the prospect of dying does not seem so terrible if sukuna royumen is the one killing you.

“and what would such a little puppy be doing all alone out here?” his voice is deep; it moves something foreign within you. your stomach is warm, a combination of fear and nausea and desire and curiosity all in one. you know his endearment is not meant as kindness, but this does not hinder your childlike fascination.

you do not know how to answer.

“it’s always so boring when they forget how to speak,” he muses. “it makes it much too easy. there’s no fun in it.” he studies one of his bloody rings for a moment before gazing back at you knowingly. there’s a glint of an unnameable emotion in his eyes.

the one-eyed man was right, you think. those fucking eyes are looking right inside me. he’s split you open, sukuna’s examining your organs and bones and soul. and still you say nothing, thinking he must be reading your mind by now, but you can’t stop staring, can’t stop devouring those red eyes and those four arms and what you think might be tattoos adorning his body. sukuna ryoumen should not be here. he should not exist. and yet, and yet –

“have you never seen four arms before, brat?”

autopilot takes over and you shake your head, as if it was your fault that the printing master was only blessed with two.

he laughs, a sinister, mocking sound that would have made you cry under different circumstances. despite the oppressive heat, a cold chill licks your spine. “what is your name?”

your name slips past your lips before you can think twice about it, and then: “do you always ask for someone’s name before you kill them?”

he’s humored. “what makes you think i will kill you?”

together you listen to the dying shrieks that echo across the beach in a violent symphony. together you breathe in the smell of blood, sulphur, smoke. you would laugh if you were bolder. “it’s what they all say about you, i suppose,” you admit lamely. “and...my town is currently on fire.”

but sukuna politely ignores that last comment. instead, he steps closer to you, swallowing you with his impossibly-human stature. he breathes deeply; he smells distinctly like honey and spice. you wonder if you should be ashamed that your last thoughts on earth were nothing more than hazy contemplations of sukuna ryoumen’s enticing cologne. you wonder if you should be more scared.

“and what do they say about me, puppy?”  

you’re distracted by the broadness of his bare chest, the confirmation that there are indeed tattoos peppering his blood-stained skin. for one dizzying moment, you wonder if he is warm to the touch; the stories don’t say. the stories never mentioned any of this. but when his gaze threatens to burn you alive, you remember your words. “that...that you’re sukuna ryoumen. you take no survivors. you like to sink ships.”

he does not attempt to deny your claims. instead, sukuna studies you in turn; runs one of his hands along your collarbone, pokes at the buttons on your sweaty shirt, swipes a finger across your cheek so agonizingly slow that your knees grow weak. his hands are warm. you don’t dare look at his face, instead opting to keep your gaze level with his torso. you wonder briefly who will find your body, or if the boars will eat you first, or if you will be swept out to sea with the tide.

maybe he’ll eat you, you muse.

you do not know how long you stand this way; you let his hands explore freely, afraid that he will kill you sooner if you protest. for being murderous instruments, they’re surprisingly gentle. one hand moves to languidly brush the tension from your eyebrow, and goosebumps bloom on your arms. another traces the curve of your neck, stopping to analyze your pulse, quick and hummingbird-like. warm. for just a moment you consider closing your eyes.

“you’re not a sailor,” he states. you do not know how he knows this. you wonder if it means something. you hope it does.

“i’m an apprentice,” you say. you weakly hope he does not sense the mild pride in your voice at the admission of your profession.

sukuna’s reply reeks of condescension. “oh, an apprentice, i apologize.” a third hand thumbs the ink stain at your collar that you have never been able to remove. you do not need to see his face to know there is the ghost of a smirk on his lips. “let me guess – a printer. how noble.”

being even the slightest bit more offended by his patronizing tone would have been a gift. but you envision the print master’s face the way sukuna would picture him, think of the sweat on your face and the humidity swirling along your shirtsleeves, and can’t help but be ashamed of yourself as well.

“i like stories,” you defend yourself, surprised at your own incentive to protect your character. “i...i like to hear them, or read them, i guess.”

the hands on you pause. his breath sweeps across your forehead in an intimate wave. you bathe in the smell of him; you wonder how he maintains it, wonder if he feeds on the sailors he kills before he keeps the stolen spices for himself. you would like to know. the stories don’t say.

stillness, then –  “stories, huh?” sukuna laughs that sinister laugh again and steps back to study your figure in full. you miss his hands. you are small beneath his gaze; you are a game; you are prey. for a moment you wonder if he means to kill you with his red stare. at least, you think, it is hard to find regret when you have gotten the confirmation you asked for. you have seen him: he is magnificent. that is all you wanted to know.

“that’s why i...” you swallow, gesturing towards the sea. “i’m here because…”

“you what? speak up, brat.” his tone is humored but impatient. you want to melt beneath those red eyes. you cannot meet them; you look somewhere behind him, at his torso, at his feet, anywhere, anything.  

“i wanted to see if the stories about you were true.” it feels like poison to admit it, like you are an ignorant child again, caught in the reality of an adult’s world.

you blink in mild embarrassment, bracing yourself for a response that never comes. instead, you find sukuna holding out one of those goddamn hands for you to take. he smiles at you, and you are caught in those sharp teeth, that feral grin that promises not comfort but chaos. you know to accept him is to sign your own demise. his other hands gesture hospitably towards the sea. you turn; on the horizon, the silhouette of a single ship looms like a dark omen. his. you are filled with something scalding and curious and you realize in that moment that you are incredibly fucked.

his nightmare grin grows. “well, puppy, since you like stories so much, care to come witness mine?”