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illneverrecover · 2 years ago

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make it right - epilogue | kth & knj (M)

➛pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader ft. Kim Namjoon x reader ➛summary: He had offered to be there with you when you read it, which you had considered. He has always been supportive of you and your emotions, and you knew you could rely on him to be your rock through this, too, should you need it. But there was a little piece of you that felt it was important to be willing to face this alone; willing to face the consequences and fallout of your actions without the crutch of your current love. ➛genre: starting out musician!AU, smut, angst. SMANGST. ➛word count: 5327 ➛rating: explicit/mature ➛warnings: mentions of previous infidelity, mentions of mature situations, a lot of talk about healing and self reflection, also about self growth, cursing, previous installments contain smut. ➛notes: Well this was a long, long time coming. If you’ve stuck around this long - I appreciate you more than you will know! Many apologies for the wait, but damn, was life being a bitch for a hot minute. This was very cathartic for me to write for many reasons, and I hope you enjoy! Just to be clear, this series isn’t here to romanticize infidelity, or make light of it -- but instead show how things aren’t always so black and white in real life. In reality, there are numerous, messy shades of grey, and things can become complicated very easily. This is barely edited and completely unbeta’ed, as I’m trying to be more authentic and less of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing as a personal goal in 2023. It’s been holding me back for far too long, and I’ve missed being creative. Be gentle, and let me know what you think! (P.S. - if you pick up on the TS reference, pls know I’m giving you a forehead kiss) ➛song: everythinggoes (with Nell) - RM, NELL & Girl of My Dreams (with SUGA) - Juice WRLD, SUGA, BTS ➛tagging: @jimins-ass-eater, @thatlongspringnight ➛Chapter 1 ➛ Chapter 2 ➛ Chapter 3

Everything, everything, everything goes

Time passes. Despite change, despite everything moving and falling apart and rebuilding again, time always passes. It is unavoidable, it is necessary. It is healing simply in its existence.

Namjoon sees that now more than anything.

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year – a year since you walked out, since everything changed. Since his actions and inactions had finally caught up to him, and so had the consequences.

He wanted to blame you. It would be easier to do so, he thought in the beginning, considering how everything fell apart. But it wouldn’t be honest, and it wouldn’t make him feel any better. He thought himself a good man, after all, and good men accept the fallout from their misdeeds. They dig deep and do some introspection and maybe see a therapist, and they try to be better.

He wanted to be better.

It wasn’t easy. Looking into the depths of his mind and soul and inspecting his worst flaws is a raw, painful thing at any time, but especially after what had happened. He meditated more, channeled his feelings into his writing in the studio, and continued to work on himself. His relationship with the new producer, Mina, continued to blossom, but this time without the tainting of his indiscretions, without the shame and guilt. Namjoon found what grew between them was more beautiful this way; tending to the soil and ensuring proper watering allowed him to be his sincere, natural self, giving way to a love that came easy.

It was hard when Yoongi left the studio, though Namjoon would be lying if he said he didn’t see it coming. It was on good terms, thanks to both of them being pragmatic despite their friendship, but it still stung. Another consequence to his transgressions, another person affected by his shortcomings. Yoongi had told him he was thinking of opening his own studio for a while, but Namjoon was almost positive the incident (and the aftermath) is what accelerated his timeline and had him leaving a few months later.

Taehyung’s resignation had been less surprising, though equally professional. He offered to finish out his contract or to leave immediately – not wanting to leave the studio hanging, but also knowing the position this was putting Namjoon in. Namjoon could appreciate the gesture, even through the betrayal, and allowed the younger man to finish up some tracks and part ways amicably. It wasn’t long before Taehyung’s name was being released as Yoongi’s first talent, and though it felt like someone had punched him in the chest, Namjoon couldn’t help but be proud.

He would always support them, even if they didn’t know it.

He poured himself into his work, into his music. His first passion, his first love. She always welcomed him with warm arms, always gave him confidence and solitude to work through whatever melodies and cacophonies were clouding his mind. And as he worked through self reflection and discovery, she was there to help him work through the tougher emotions, the painful feelings, until he had a full fledged album. A raw and new piece of his soul, ready to share with the world, whenever Namjoon was ready to be vulnerable.

So much had changed in a year. He isn’t sure if this present version of himself would even recognize the Namjoon from before, the person that he was. But he knows he wants to continue to impress that version of himself, and make him proud.

He was ready to share his music — and himself — with the world, but before he could, he needed to do one last thing.

Taehyung wasn’t sure why Namjoon had wanted to see him.

His mind began racing the minute he received the text, saw the name that he hadn’t had the guts to ever delete or block from his phone. It had been almost a year since he had last been in communication with the man, when he had put in his notice at the studio.

So much had changed in a year. He had signed with Yoongi, worked extremely hard in the new studio, and was making music he was really, really proud of. And to top it all off, he was doing it with you by his side, out in the open, for the world to see. No longer having to hide his love was one of the best things to ever happen to Taehyung, and he’d never tire of basking you in it.

But Namjoon had asked to meet for coffee, and Taehyung couldn’t think of a reason to say no. If anything, he felt like he owed his old friend - his hyung, his brother - the time and space to say whatever it was he wanted to him. It was the least he could do, considering.

Taehyung doesn’t regret loving you, but the guilt still gnaws at him from time to time over how things went down with Namjoon. It was you who would always reassure him that if anyone was to blame, it was you, and would help him work through his feelings.

He had thought about reaching out to Namjoon in the months following the aftermath – to apologize, to explain where he was coming from, how genuine his feelings were for you, that he never meant to hurt him – but realized that this would only be to assuage his own shame and guilt, not because it would be anything that Namjoon actually needed to hear. That didn’t seem fair to put on him, after everything else, and so he vowed to keep his apologies to his journal for the time being. Resolved that if Namjoon wanted closure, he would let him know.

Taehyung hopes that’s what this meeting is about, if he’s being honest with himself. He has run this scenario through his head a million times, and out of all the conclusions he could reach, it would be the ideal one. Certainly, Namjoon would have every right to ask him to meet up if only to have a chance to give him a solid sucker punch in the face, and Taehyung wouldn’t be able to fault him for that.

But despite knowing that things will never be the same, he would at least like for there to be peace between the two of them, for your sake if nothing else.

The coffee shop is spacious, well lit by the copious windows adorning the front of the building, and fairly quiet, considering its size. Mismatched plush couches and chairs decorated the room alongside coffee tables of varying shapes and forms, surrounded by walls lined with bookshelves stuffed to the brim. It is a very Namjoon place to pick, Taehyung thinks, deciding to peruse the menu and order before searching for his friend.

He finds Namjoon in a back corner, tucked in an alcove that is built into the bookshelves, the only booth in the entire shop. He has one hand cupped around a mug of hot liquid, the other scrolling his phone, not seeing Taehyung approach.

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung slides himself into the booth opposite him.

“Hey,”

Namjoon’s eyes flick up, surprise on his face quickly melting into a familiar grin. “Hey, Taehyung. How are you? You look well,”

Taehyung lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his shoulders relaxing at the elder’s tone. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m doing well. How about you? You look great,” he compliments, realizing that he means it. Namjoon has more life and color in his face than Taehyung remembered seeing in years, a new softness in his eyes that makes him seem lighter, more free. “You look happy.”

“Thank you, I’m getting there,” Namjoon chuckles, a shy smile on his face. “It’s been a lot of work, but it’s been worth it.”

For a moment, they just smile and nod at each other, a comfortable and familiar silence stretching between them. There’s so much that Taehyung wants to ask, that he wants to say, but he follows Namjoon’s lead, instead sipping on his hot chocolate while he waits for the other man to speak.

“So, there’s some things that I need to say to you. And it might be a lot, and I’ll probably talk for a stupid amount of time, but I’m asking for you to listen ‘til the end, if you could,” Namjoon pauses then, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he winces. “If it’s too much, or if you don’t have the time for this, then I understand completely, but–”

“No, of course I have time, it’s okay. I want to hear what you have to say.” Taehyung reassures, giving him a nod. “Whatever you need.”

Namjoon smiles, taking a deep breath.

“When I first met Y/N, she was… the brightest light,” he looks down at his drink, face softening. “So bright that she drew everyone to her like moths to flame. I was so drawn to her, so attracted to her light. That first night at the karaoke bar, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She was shining so bright, and everyone was watching. I normally wouldn’t approach someone in a bar, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t go over, or if someone else did first, so I finally went up to her. Told her some corny joke, and she laughed hysterically.” He laughs to himself, and Taehyung smiles. That sounds like the you he knows, too. “And the moment she laughed, I was instantly hooked. I asked for her number, about floating out of that bar when she kissed me. We became inseparable. Spent all of our time together, and the rest happened quickly. I’m sure you know how she is – it’s so easy to get wrapped up in her warmth, her fire.”

Taehyung dips his chin, his lips curling into a smirk against his volition. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Namjoon’s jaw flexes at those words, otherwise he seems to have no reaction, swallowing before he continues.

“After she moved in, things were good – comfortable, a little predictable, but good. I felt safe and confident, knowing that she was always there, always around when I needed a bit of that light. And eventually, that comfort became complacency.” Namjoon shakes his head, drawing another breath. “I started taking advantage of the fact that she would be there when I needed. I got wrapped up in my music, and instead of trying to bring her into that with me, or share that piece of myself, I shut her out. Told myself she wouldn’t understand. Convinced myself that it would be okay once my hard work paid off and she could see the final product. But looking back, it was all excuses to be selfish and to do whatever I wanted, knowing that she loved me enough to put up with it.”

“I’m not proud of myself for that. There’s thousands, millions of different ways that you can kill the person you love. The slowest way is not loving them enough, not giving them enough of your time – but not having the strength to let them go. She tried talking to me, telling me what she needed from me, begging me to spend time with her, and instead of being strong enough to let her go, I kept making promises I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep. It was fucked up, what I did. I just- I wasn’t ready to lose that fire,”

Taehyung didn’t trust his voice, so instead he nods, easily empathizing with the older man. He intimately knows that fire that Namjoon spoke of, understood its siren call, the unbelievable warmth it is to be loved by you. But at the same time, he realizes how much Namjoon’s admission gets under his skin – knowing that you were in that much pain, remembering seeing you suffer, watching you fall apart and try to hide it from everyone – it angers him, hearing Namjoon own to the fact that he knew he was hurting you, but didn’t walk away.

He must not be schooling his face as well as he thinks, because Namjoon sighs as he rubs his face with his hand. “I get it. Trust me, I know it wasn’t okay. But when you’ve been in the dark for so long, finding someone like Y/N – you want to be loved by her, want just a piece of that for yourself. I’m not justifying my actions, but hopefully explaining where my mind was at the time,” he continues, taking a sip of his drink. “I was already not being the man she needed, already not meeting her expectations. And when Mina started at the studio, and started helping me with some of the tracks… I hate to say it, but it was easy to let myself get distracted. I was so wrapped up in myself and what was going on with me, I didn’t see just how far away she had slipped - not only emotionally, but physically, intimately. It seemed like it went from incessant texts about when I was coming home, begging to spend time with me, to… nothing at all. She went radio silent, started going out of the house more, started hanging around you guys more. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Well at least it seems like she’s found something to entertain herself, now she won’t always worry about me’. How clueless could I be? So fucking stupid, and selfish.”

Namjoon gives the younger man a moment to process his words before he continues. “After everything went down, I… I’m not proud of this, but I got drunk one night, and I kinda begged some information off of Jimin,” Namjoon winces again, casting his eyes down. “It’s not Jimin’s fault, I think he honestly just felt bad for me, so please don’t be upset with him. He really didn’t tell me much, but he confirmed that… the two of you,” he gestures with his hands towards Taehyung, “ started… being together on her birthday.”

Taehyung feels his heart drop in his chest, his pulse racing at the admission, unsure of why the fact that Namjoon now knew this piece of information makes him feel a bit more ashamed.

“Which means, it started way after she had ‘the talk’ with me, way after she began to pull away and I just let her go – hell, encouraged it, even. When she showed up at the apartment the day I found out, Y/N kept telling me it didn’t matter what happened, or who’s fault it was… that we had both done hurtful things and it was time to move on. And I think even with her saying that, even as she was breaking things off with me, she was still trying to protect me in a way. Still trying to shoulder all of the blame, especially because of the affair. But the truth is, I don’t blame her for any of it. I blame myself.”

He meets Taehyung’s gaze straight on. “I may not have physically cheated, and sure, she may have been the first to step out, but what choice did I leave her? I abandoned her long before she got together with you. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I woke up one day and I stopped choosing her, and started only choosing myself. And the worst part is, she fought to try and fix things between us, and it was like I had blinders on. I still couldn’t stop choosing myself. I was so damn cocky, so sure of myself…” He swallows thickly. “She still fought, still chose me over and over, so it never crossed my mind that she would cheat. But honestly, I don’t blame her. She wasn’t being taken care of the way she should, the way she deserved.”

Taehyung is surprised to see tears welling in Namjoon’s eyes; the sheer amount of emotion he is willing to share in front of him shocking overall. Namjoon always keeps things so close to the chest.

“And then you swooped in and saved the day,” Namjoon continues, giving the younger man a wry grin. “Again, I get it. I can understand why you were drawn to her, why you were drawn to each other. I was mad, at first. Jealous mostly, if I was being honest with myself, but that’s because I’ve always been a bit possessive. But the more I sat with my thoughts, the more I realized that I was… relieved. Relieved to know that she had someone during that time, that she was being taken care of in all the ways that I failed to. Relieved to know that it was with someone that I know and trust to truly have her best interest at heart. That if it was anyone, it was you.”

Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to have his smile turn watery and soft. “Namjoon, I-”

“No, you promised to let me finish, remember?”

He doesn’t wait for confirmation before speaking again. “I know it sounds crazy, but that's why I asked you to come here. I wanted..” he trails away, hands fidgeting in his lap until his eyes snap to Taehyung. “I wanted to thank you, for taking care of her, for loving her. The way she should be… the way I couldn’t.” He doesn’t hide his tears this time, instead letting one trail down his cheek. “And if it’s alright with you, I have basically written down what we spoke about today, and I would like to give this letter to her - along with the offer of a meet up, if she’d like. Before the album comes out.”

That gets Taehyung’s attention. “What do you mean? Is there something she should be worried about, or-?”

“N-No! No, not at all, nothing like that,” Namjoon waves off the concern with a hand. “But there are some emotional songs that I worked on after the break up, and it feels like the right thing to do would be to give her the chance to hear them first, before everyone else.”

There is nothing that comes to Taehyung’s mind that would be a good argument against that - Namjoon is right, it is the courteous thing to do, to allow her the privacy of that moment before the rest of the world had a chance to dissect it into a million pieces.

“And I didn’t want to reach out without talking to you first, out of respect for you both. It didn’t feel right approaching her directly… again, I want to give her time to process, you know?”

Taehyung nods in agreement, appreciating the foresight. “Thank you for that, I think that will mean a lot to her.”

“So you’ll give it to her? The letter?”

There is a part of Taehyung that didn’t want to, if he was being honest, didn’t know if it’s worth reopening the old wounds that you had worked so hard to close. That chapter of your life was something you worked hard to move past, and though you made it clear you wished Namjoon well, you hadn’t asked to meet up with him in the year since the split. There really hasn’t been a need to, once you got your things out of the apartment and moved into Taehyung’s place.

But if he makes that choice for you, would it be any better than what Namjoon had done? Would he be any better?

“Of course. I can’t promise she’ll want to meet, but – I’ll give it to her, I promise.”

Relief sags Namjoon’s shoulders, and he lowers his head in gratitude. “Thank you, that’s all I ask. And thank you again, for meeting with me today. I promise my only intention here is closure, and respect.”

“Does that mean I’m allowed to say something now?”

“Taehyung, you really don’t have to, there isn’t anything to say–”

“Just let me get this off my chest, please,” Taehyung begs, a hint of desperation in his gaze. “I know this probably doesn’t mean much, and I completely understand why… but for the record, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I wish it hadn’t come to that.”

“Come on, Tae, like I said-”

“Let me finish.” Taehyung raises his voice slightly, just enough that Namjoon knows he’s serious. “I sincerely mean that. I don’t regret being with Y/N, and I won’t pretend to. I really do love her, and your words and… approval,” he chokes on the word, as if the marvel of it isn’t lost on him, “mean more to me than I think you can understand. But I really hate that you were hurt in the process, regardless of what was going on at the time.”

Namjoon waits, taking another sip of his drink to ensure Taehyung is finished before speaking again.

“Apology accepted. I appreciate you saying that, really. But I mean… what would you have done differently? No matter what choices were made, the outcome was inevitable. She was never going to tolerate my shit forever, and it was the catalyst. Considering I wasn’t exactly innocent in my behaviors, either, I get it. It wasn’t okay, what any of us did, but I get it.”

The world is never as black and white as we would like it to be, never as quickly and neatly explained as the human brain would prefer. There are many shades of the foggy grays and dark misty blacks and every level of fading ink in between, a messy cacophony of varying gradients. If anyone can understand that, it’s Taehyung.

“That’s probably the best way to put it. It wasn’t okay, but I get it. What you did, what we all did. But I do think people are capable of change, if they truly want it. And it sounds like you’ve come a long way,” Taehyung gives a wide grin then, feeling the lightest he has in a long time. “ I wish you nothing but luck and success in your journey - both with your love life and with your music. I genuinely mean that, Joon. We’ll always be rooting for you.”

Namjoon matches the younger man's carefree smile, any remaining tension easing away from his posture. “Thanks, bro. I’m always rooting for you guys, too. All of you - Yoongi included. If you ever need anything, even just some ears or a hype man, I’m here.”

More pleasantries and gratitudes are exchanged before Namjoon is standing, pulling Taehyung into a quick embrace before gearing up to leave the coffee shop, holding up a buzzing phone in explanation. “Sorry, I gotta take this - thanks again!”

Everything changes, and everything stays the same.

You aren’t sure how long you stare at the letter before you decide to open it. It must be a few hours at least, because Taehyung had given it to you in the bright light of early afternoon, and now the sky was turning faded pinks and oranges, sun ready to rest for the day.

He had offered to be there with you when you read it, which you had considered. He has always been supportive of you and your emotions, and you knew you could rely on him to be your rock through this, too, should you need it.

But there was a little piece of you that felt it was important to be willing to face this alone; willing to face the consequences and fallout of your actions without the crutch of your current love.

Your friends had rallied around you after the initial fallout, surprisingly, and though you weren’t sure you had deserved that, you certainly appreciated them for it. They gave you the confidence to keep moving forward, to battle with your demons, and you would always be grateful to them for showing up in your time of need.

You are stronger now, more healed than you were when you had last seen Namjoon a year ago. Not fully healed, because healing isn’t linear, but you are working on it and yourself. An excellent therapist had been the start of the self love journey, and it was with her help that you were able to confront some difficult truths and soothe old wounds, feeling more secure in your skin than you had in years.

You had even started working on your music again, though you could say that was Yoongi’s fault if anything, since he kept saying he was tired of you lounging around his studio for free. He had practically shoved you into the booth one day, asking for you to warm up and lay a raw track for some backing vocals to earn your keep, and you had complied easily. It wasn’t the worst thing he could have you doing there, and it soothed you to be able to work with music, even in a small capacity.

And Taehyung.

Taehyung had been amazing through it all; your grounding peace during the storm, your home in the form of a person. His devotion and endless understanding and love was more than you could dream of, more than you ever thought you would know, and you can’t help but to feel like the luckiest person in the world to get to experience it.

Picking up the letter, you take a deep breath, centering yourself before folding it open, eyes quickly scanning the words awaiting you.

He wasn’t mad, wasn’t angry. Instead, he was apologizing, giving explanations for his actions while telling you not to blame yourself, offering to meet up to talk things out if you’d like. Or if you didn’t want to talk, to at least get a copy of his new album so that you could listen to it before it dropped, since there were some personal songs included that he thought you may want to hear in private.

Overall, it was a short note; but kind, considerate. A softer side of the Namjoon you used to remember, from the early days.

You didn’t need to think about how you wanted to proceed, instead picking up your phone and sending a text to your ex-fiancé.

It had been you that insisted on meeting some place outside, wanting to keep the encounter quick and pleasant. You weren’t sure how he was going to reply to your text letting him know that you were willing to meet for the album, but not to talk, but in standard Namjoon style, he didn’t seem bothered. Taehyung told you he supported your decision no matter what, which you knew would be his response, but you truly didn’t feel the need to continue to hash this out. You had both apologized and moved on, and the past was in the past.

You certainly appreciate his dedication to his own healing, and can empathize with the need of writing a letter for closure, but that was enough for you. You didn’t need anything else in order to forgive him.

You had forgiven him long ago.

You and Taehyung made plans to listen to the album together, knowing that you would want his warmth and comfort both physically and emotionally during, and you let that thought comfort you as you walk towards the meeting point, eyes scanning the park for the taller man.

A tap on your shoulder has you turning, peering up at a dimpled grin.

“Hey,”

You give him a shy smile. “Hi, Joon.”

He has a small manila envelope in his hands, your name scrolled in black sharpie on the front, and his fingers tap against the material a few times before he thrusts it towards you.

“Well, here it is. It’s a USB, but it has all the songs plus the album concept art. I hope you like it, but uh, even if you don’t, I thought it was only right to let you hear it before everyone else does.”

His awkwardness makes you want to giggle, but you stifle the urge, not wanting to make him feel self conscious. Taking the parcel from his hands, you slide it in your bag before glancing back up at him. “Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m sure I will like it. Your music has always been amazing.”

The tips of Namjoon’s ears start to redden, and he scoffs bashfully. “Ahh, you gotta warn me before you say nice things to me, I’m not prepared.”

You laugh then, his deeper chuckle joining in after a few moments, and it felt good to laugh so carefree with him again. Something you didn’t think you would ever have the chance to do.

“Well, it was good to see you, Joon. Thanks for this,” you tap your bag twice, “I’m excited to listen.”

“Thanks. It was good to see you as well, you look great. Really h-happy,” Namjoon stutters over his words, the sentiment rushing out, “It’s what you deserve - to be happy.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest, a piece of your soul healed by the words you didn’t know you needed to hear out loud.

“I am really happy,” you confirm, unable to hide your smile. “Like, almost disgustingly happy, it’s pretty annoying.”

You laugh, but this time he doesn’t join you.

“Good.”

And before you can think of how to reply, he’s gone, faded back into the bustle of the crowd like he was never there.

Taehyung already has your favorite wine opened by the time you arrive home, a glass placed in your hand once you walk through the door. He’s all easy smiles, nonchalant as he asks about the meeting, steadfast and attentive as he listens while putting the finishing touches on dinner.

He’s made one of your comfort meals, and you spoon it into bowls before carrying them into his office-slash-studio, cozying up on his lounger before putting the thumb drive into the computer. He queues it up, sliding the mouse closer to his reach as he settles beside you, pulling a blanket to cover your laps.

You hand him his bowl, and he pulls you in for a kiss. It’s quick, but there’s heat underneath the gentle pressure of his mouth.

“Are you ready?”

You look into his warm gaze, the affection evident in the soft way he drinks you in. He has one hand cupped around his bowl, the other on your thigh under the blanket, giving reassuring squeezes as the silence ebbs on.

It’s not that you were afraid of what you would hear, or that you thought Namjoon would do anything to hurt you. But you know hearing your previous relationship's downfall from his point of view could bring up some lingering pain, and you wanted to be able to process and work through it so you could continue to heal.

It’s what he deserved, what you all deserved.

The old version of you wouldn’t be able to handle this, certainly not next to someone like Taehyung. Wouldn’t be able to bear the vulnerability, or having a witness to the potential flood of emotions that could come at any moment. But over this past year, you’ve learned that you are worthy of a love that makes you feel safe enough to be your authentic self - and in turn to allow your true self to be loved.

You knew that you were safe, here under the blanket on the loveseat in Taehyung’s cozy little studio, next to the man you love.

“I’m ready.”

Just like the night leaves and the morning comes The spring leaves and summer comes, but Just like the flowers and summer sunshine Everything must be hurt Breathe the world The air in my lungs is full of cold air I want to run away From long hours of pain and dullness

Everyday I pray (everyday I pray) That I may become a slightly better adult And everyday I stay (everyday I stay) People die with their pain one day We can not be eternity in dream Words like "Cheer up" can not be real Instead of plausible words It hope it goes like a wind (Everything, everything, everything goes Everything everything else goes)

#taehyung fic #taehyung x reader #taehyung scenario #taehyung smut #bts smut #bts fanfic #namjoon x reader #namjoon fic #namjoon scenario #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #taehyung fanfic #my writing #fic: make it right #fic: mir #fic: make it right epilogue #overly affectionate demon #bamjoon

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ahyoungbe · 8 months ago

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next gen plotcall

hiii everyone!! i'm following the trend and putting a lil next gen plotcall post up for my girls AHYOUNG and NAYOUNG! ahyoung is a contestant and nayoung is a coach so we'll get the best of both worlds. please like this post if you want to plot with either of them, and i'll do a quick rundown of some relevant info on them too.

AHYOUNG is just along for the ride. she is honestly bad at taking anything seriously and a bit of a delinquent and just signed up for next gen because she thought it would be fun so i currently don't know how hard she's going to work, because she is also super lazy JKDSLLDGS i think she'll put Some effort in but she ultimately doesn't care about this that much and could probably use a kick in the ass of some sort. she might fight people on camera too. she's a fun gal though, she will also talk to and befriend anyone and loves getting shyer people out of their shell. i would say she doesn't have a filter but it's not really that, she mostly just says whatever she wants all the time with no fear of the consequences. i think she will be a mess on the show. she is also not the best at dancing, at all, and will probably get annoyed and want to take too many breaks. watch her get kicked out episode one it would be what she deserves. but she does love performing and wants to perform something presentable for the judges, so she'll do what she has to.

NAYOUNG is like the opposite of ahyoung. she will take this So Seriously, like her life depends on it or something. she is not going to be nice. she is like definition of bad cop coach. but i think she'll be pretty good at her job. she's very meticulous and a perfectionist and is insistent on everything she's involved in being The Highest Quality Possible, so she will apply that standard to every contestant. i doubt she will give anyone any praise, but she'll give a lot of feedback...constructive feedback??? but not delivered in the most graceful way LMAO she is blunt and can be cold and got edited as the scary contestant on next gen last season, and it's true! that being said she can give decent advice and Was on next gen last season so she has some experience to share in that regard too. but she's here to make fragile contestants cry (she did that last season) and be harsh where others won't and ultimately try to build the contestants into the best versions of themselves they can be. that's what she thinks, anyway aklsdfaljkslkdasg

i also wanted to say that anyone can say anything about either of my girls in their interview solos! good, bad, anything is fair game, so feel free to use them if you need something extra to write about 💓 (just tag them somewhere bc i'm nosy and want to read it)

my health has not been great and i've been super exhausted lately so i might cap this at two threads for each muse??? maybe?? idk we'll see, if we can come up with something fun i'm down for more <3

#* OOC

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royal1asset-if · 2 years ago

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The Banes Of Writers.

I got nothing to do and still thinking my the sequence for my story so I'm just gonna drop this post 😁😁😁 and I'm sure most of you my fellow writers can relate to these crap of a problems. 😉😉

Also I might add some more and if you want you can also reblog and add your own banes that you're experiencing when it comes to writing your IF.

Brain being a rebellious teenager- Well me too friend, you feel like your begging your brain to think scenes for the IF your currently writing but it decided to think a new project for you to agonize over.

Writers block on your current IF but you feel inspired and ideas came to you naturally for your other projects- Yup, I can relate because that's what's happening to me right now, I can't think how to go forward with "Royal Assets" but I can write endlessly on "A Dragon's Double Edged Sword".

Codes being a pain in the ass- Oh I can't expressed how this one is a severe headache on my head especially if your just new to coding but you know what they say practice and as time goes by you will get better at it.

Writer's Block- Oh yes the curse of every writers, you looking at your screen for long periods of time, standing back and eyeing your story in different angles but alas nothing is happening.

Brain being a jerk-Have you ever experience that you are cooking, then suddenly your brain conjured the best scenes for your story, it has angst, drama, love and happiness, then you rushed your cooking wanting to write this masterpiece in your story, hovering your fingers atop your keyboard. But you laughter heard at the back of your head and you forgotten what you were supposed to write and you realized that your brain is shitting with you.

Albeit perfectionist- Yup, we been there like we have read our story many time wanting to know if it's good enough for our Readers or editing one particular scene to much because no matter how you write it can't seem to fit in your story.

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jakowskis · 3 months ago

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Loved ‘an ugly picture, you & me’ so so much. Srsly I read it like 10 times and still won’t get tired of it. It’s such a great piece of writing. Now my question: Do you already if ur gonna post more Torchwood fanfic?? (no pressure obv, writing is so so hard and I admire everyone who actually manages to finish their stories).

oh my goodness thank you so much 🥺 that means the world to me im so glad you liked it so much

man ok so. heres the thing. djkfds aaa idek how to talk abt this it makes me feel stupid fdshkfj. basically i have dx'd ocd and it affects my writing process a Lot. im exceptionally critical n perfectionistic when it comes to my writing, and when my ocd's at its worse, i can reread things literally hundreds of times. this makes my editing process a fucking nightmare. an ugly picture was... a Journey, i wrote the bulk of it in like a month or two bc i was Inspired, and that period of inspiration just flowing was super nice - but then i spent literally half a year obsessing over editing and figuring out a few sections i couldnt get to work and it was. rlly rlly unhealthy and messy. like that was a stereotypical Mentally Ill Artist™ moment for me 😭 i was unmedicated during that process and honestly im still impressed with myself for managing to finish and post it anyway.

and after posting it... this might not make sense unless u have ocd but that fic is, like, tainted in my head, and im not allowed to touch it as a result. which is RLLY fucking annoying and sad bc i wrote it for Me and it was a labor of love yanno, and i am proud of it, like during writing i was like 'man this is one of the best things ive written, im genuinely proud of this' and ive gotten some absolutely wonderful reception - but i cant exactly place why, idk if it was the torment of the editing process or a fear of experiencing that specific brand of anxiety again (if i reread it and run into errors it might kill me 😭)... either way at this point in time im legitimately unable to revisit that fic. and its been like this since i posted it, so... for nearly five months ;-; and im kind of having a similar experience with torchwood as a whole tbh. like my whole fandom experience + relationship with this fixation has been bastardized to all hell bc of ocd issues. it all feels very... dirty right now.

which fucking sucks, cuz torchwood's one of my fav fixations ive ever had, it became so important to me so fast and it's probably hit special interest territory at this point - but it sucks what a thin line it is between obsessing over a hyperfixation, and compulsively engaging with something. it sucks when the serotonin u get from smth also gets laced with pervasive anxiety. my recent main issue with ocd has been avoidance - i went from obsessively going thru torchwood clips to being unable to watch it at all bc the very thought of doing so makes me so anxious.

(so, tldr? my mental illness garbage is interfering w my interests and my ability to engage with fandom, to my chagrin, and that's why i haven't posted anything else.)

that being said: between april 2023 and now i have written 180k words of torchwood fanfic. im endlessly fascinated and inspired by these characters, particularly by owen who has lowkey proven to be my muse lol. (he sits in my mind palace on top of a, like, literal fancy ass corinthian pedestal and his one job is to sit still n look pretty and sad but instead he snarks down at me every time i walk passed and in return i squirt a water gun at him and occasionally throw tomatoes at him. it's a very mutually loving relationship.) and 180k words in, and literally hundreds of hours spent thinking about and talking about tw/owen, and im still fascinated by it/him, there are still soooo many things i wanna explore through writing with these characters that i adore so much. 57k of the 180k words is part of what will eventually be a sequel series to an ugly picture (which is meant to be a stand-alone, for the record, but towards the end of the writing process i went "Hm. Actually I Have More Ideas", and it became a whole 'verse heh). problem is i dont rmr the fic enough to continue the first sequel and currently i cant revisit it and take notes 🤡 so that project's on hold. as for the other stuff, it's a good mix of misc one-shots and full-on projects, and several things are pretty much done and could, if i were anyone else, easily be polished and posted.

but, as ive made clear, unfortunately writing (well, revising + editing) is an absolute nightmare for me. now, im recently back on medication after nearly two years of rawdogging it, and ive been having issues with that fff (namely constant pervasive exhaustion) - but im working to figure out a happy medium, so im HOPING, hell, praying, that once i level out ill be able to open my docs and sit down and finish things without it being a goddamn ordeal. editing's not rlly fun for anyone, but it fucking sucks when your absolute favorite hobby + mode of expression gets terrorized by a wiggity wack disorder.

first order of business, once im able, is a 15k owen/andy fic that's literally 90% done. i wanted to post it in june, for pride month, and then my brain decided to convince me i wasnt being coherent in the slightest and i was like, nah, i cannot make myself soldier through the editing project this time, i dont want this to get ruined the same way. but hopefully soon i can drop that and it will be epic and such 😎

so in summation uh (sorry im a known babbler fdshk but this is what happens when u send an ask to someone who wrote a 30k fic where literally nothing happens KJFSD. also sorry for literally trauma dumping unprompted 😭 i did the white woman in the kmart thing) ive written a ton of torchwood fic and i 100% intend to write a ton more but mental illness garbage is trying to sabotage shit so basically im taking a break from trying to post any of it until my brain lets me enjoy my damn interest in relative peace 👍but i definitely have a lot more fic on the way. just might take a while for it to see the light of day. hopefully not that long

anyway thank you again so so so much for liking the fic enough to read it multiple times that means so much to meee. i hope to have more for u soon :))

#sorry for replying late too i got this like. a week and a half ago aaa. im a mess man #ive been putting off a phone call to my doctor for three days fskjdfhds #anon #txt #my pills do seem to be working bc i typed this reply up when i first got it and then my ocd decided i was being incoherent ofc #so it sat in me drafts for a bit #but now i just looked it over and im like. actually these are in fact words! its fine! so. progress!! wahaha!!!

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1d1195 · 4 months ago

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Not him inviting his friend over😭 A deep clean is always so satisfying! I hope you'll be able to still recharge a bit plus I support hiding for a bit!Oh that sounds pretty good!! And it just makes sense you would be most excited for the veggies and honestly i'm excited for you lol

I think that it’s very easy for most shows to lose their way so I totally get it! Anyways I also LOVED cake boss as a kid!! Buddy was like a GOD in my eyes HAHA

I would CRY if someone said that to me omg that's so sweet😭But yeah i get how seeing your students struggle can be difficult but I guess it is a good thing that she likes you at least! Like that has to mean something lol Though I can only imagine what goes on in her head so hopefully she can out grow constantly being in drama lol

NOT BANK OF AMERICA HAHA I honestly don't blame her! I have heard many horror stories from that place so in this case I say that’s so valid lol

Us together in person would just be TOO powerful(i LOVE that for us) !!! which is why the universe put us on opposite sides of the country lol. I seriously try to edit out “unnecessary” details through my responses but I fear in person my train of thought is not linear when I'm comfortable 😭 People have also lost the meaning of a good filler episode and long seasons! I can argue so much how streaming has changed the way people appreciate shows/movies which is crazy!

Sadly I only get one class with a break :( which is CRAZY considering I'm sure the professors don’t enjoy these long ass classes either?! But I don’t think it’s weird at all! I felt good about this decision ultimately because I receive aid from the state and that only lasts for 4 years so it’s a MUST that I need to be done on time! Plus even though it may not seem like it, compared to how i was even a year ago, i am in a better place so I did take some time to think about it lol And I totally get you!! You’re a perfectionist and if you feel like this is how you’ll be in therapy then it would probably feel more like a burden for you. I used to have a similar fear too when I first started therapy when I was younger so you’re not weird for thinking that at all! But the right therapist for you will never make you feel like that trust me! It’s definitely a process and please NEVER FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ONE OUT OF OBLIGATION! If you have any doubts even after the first session, trust your gut! It’s annoying of course with insurance and all that but it never hurts to try! Oh bestie do I have a surprise for you my therapist is a MAN 😭he’s the first guy therapist i’ve had and I was honestly never wanting one tbh but at the time I was just SO desperate to start therapy again that I caved lol I too hate men most of the time and I lowkey feel uncomfortable sometimes around them but obviously he doesn’t make me feel like that lol I think that he’s definitely helped me a lot and idk it’s been very helpful in this stage of my life lol Hope that if/when you start therapy that you’ll be able to find someone who understands you and sees you for all that you are, which is a lovely person!

YAY TO ONE MORE WEEK!! YOU GOT THIS!! I do understand your frustration though with kids still managing to fail. Even though I'm sure the majority of teachers try to make it as easy as possible while still trying to teach them as much as they can. It also sucks if they don’t communicate if they might be struggling with the content and/or stuff in their personal life so that just doesn’t help. I know that you try your best and really there can be only so much done with the circumstances! I totally get it!

AWW OMG OUR ANNIVERSARY TOO?! SAM THAT’S SO SWEET OMG 😭😭😭literally that story gave me the courage to ask for my emoji and I will always be so grateful that you let us read your stories!!

Btw i'm gonna have to talk about most part 3 in a different ask bc this is already too long lol-💜

Haven't had the veggies yet, but the friend is gone THANK GOD. I didn't like him very much (he wasn't creepy or anything, but just not my cup of tea) I like most of my bf's friends. This one has a habit of rubbing people the wrong way.

I jus thought the crazy cakes were so fun! Buddy was hilarious and I loved the family dynamics 😂 reminded me of home 💀

When she's being annoying I think about how she said that to me. She also will come in and yell at younger students when they're acting stupid in class and put them in their place because she's high key terrifying 😭😭 But naturally I bought her a book this weekend so she would do her summer reading. Trying to get her to connect with her studies and shit. I need her to graduate but I'm worried she's going to be on the 6-year track if she doesn't get her shit together 😂😂

I LOVE THAT FOR US TOO!

Bro, there's no WAY your professors enjoy glazed-over faces for three hours. I give my kids breaks after like TWENTY MINUTES hahahaha My attention span is shot after an hour. Ah, nothing like financial aid to push you into an absolute FRENZY of a timeline ugh. It will totally be worth it--I think, I feel that way about my degrees anyway. I tell people all the time I'm glad I grew up poor I wouldn't have been able to afford college. "The hassle was worth the tassel" and all that.

A MAN?! I'm actually really pleased with this fact. I'm sure he's very capable--especially if you've chosen to stick with him. I knew they were capable of empathy 😂

I appreciate all the tips and thoughts! I've heard that before and I actually saw a character on my show trying out different therapists and my cousin also mentioned it to me. So I'm willing to shop around. But YES, I think you described it perfectly! I would def feel like a burden to please someone else in my life but I know you're right--with the right therapist I won't feel that way.

It just feels like my fault. Like I'm not doing enough. But also I don't know how to make them care. That's my issue during the regular school year too. I feel like the students I have a terrifying, growing apathetic nature toward things. Maybe it's just my age but they don't seem to like sports, movies/TV, or ANYTHING. I know I joke, but I'm not exactly old and I have SUCH a hard time relating to them sometimes. I also feel bad for all my coworkers because I'm CONSTANTLY asking for reassurance because I feel so defeated and whatnot. But anyway. I'm excited for the week to be done and then I'll have a chunk of weeks to myself reading and preparing new lessons and shit before the school year starts. It's far to think in advance and I will def miss the $ but I'm strongly considering taking next summer off.

You are the sweetest! 💕 I'm so glad to share them. I find it so therapeutic to hide behind my screen and let you all read my inner thoughts 😭

hope you have a good week! I imagine you're rapidly approaching finals for your first two classes 😭 best of luck (not that you'll need it!) 💕

xoxo

#💜

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the-old-book-town · 7 months ago

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Study progress…

A little slow because I haven’t been getting much sleep and this week is kicking my ass, but I started rereading and editing my novel translations. Since I promised myself back then that I would never touch it again after finishing it (because I’m a perfectionist), I’ve never read the first chapter with my current comprehension level (I was almost a total newbie when I started translating this, had one year of classes and a summer of doing game transcriptions before I started).

It’s certainly interesting. As a whole it just makes a lot more sense now. Even if I’ve forgotten specific vocabulary, I’m much more familiar with the structure and flow of the language. Including guessing the subject of the sentence which isn’t always explicitly stated in Japanese. I’m pretty sure I got that wrong a few times back then.

Also, some vocabulary comes back easily. Others I don’t remember seeing at all or since lol. But I understand the parts that make up the words better, which I didn’t back then because I didn’t know many kanji.

I might boot up my Switch tonight and start a new playthrough of NEO The World Ends With You. A ton of it is voiced, but it also has a lot of flavor text, plus the vocab is more casual/modern so it makes for good practice.

#japanese self-study #a muffin’s progress notes

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morrigan-sims · 2 years ago

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Happy 6 Months RTQ!!

It’s officially been 6 months since I posted the first post of RTQ, and I knew I had to do something special. Six months isn’t that long to some people, but it’s longer than I’ve ever stuck with anything else, at least this seriously.

Some Fun Facts, Extras and thank yous under the cut!

Stats: - I’ve taken 1,231 screenshots related to this story. - 695 of those were for story posts. - I’ve edited and posted 295 panels of story content across 31 posts. - We’re on Chapter 2 out of ~35 chapters. - At this rate it will take me over 5 years to finish the story. - I’ve made at least 189 clips of poses. - There are five “acts” in the story, each with ~7 chapters.

Fun Facts: - This is my first real sims story. - I originally made Fallon just to test random cc, and fell in love. - There is a planned “sequel” (kind of) to RTQ, which is titled ATQH. - The first scene I ever wrote for this story doesn’t happen until the end of Act III. - That scene has been written ~4 times. - My Scrivener file for RTQ is over 21,000 words long. - I fully plan on sharing some long-form writing for some of the future scenes, since I’ve written some of them so many times. - I am going to have to make almost every single pose for the rest of the story, because I’m a perfectionist with overly specific ideas.

Thank Yous:

@simgerale for making me two amazing sims, and listening to me scream about this silly little story. And for partially inspiring this post.

@hauntedplasma for making me the lovely Nina, and for being about as excited as I am.

@grenouillage for making me Lavinia and giving me so much inspiration.

@thesim-tea for making me Hermes and filling my aching desire for a thief character that I didn’t know I needed.

@regalllove for making Moira, and putting so much effort into her intro pic. (that edit still amazes me.)

@wastelandwhisperer for making Nora and giving me an awesome pirate.

@autismtrait for reblogging my posts and being awesome.

@vatorelilith for all your amazing thoughts when reading and for giving me a chance to share my lore.

@rebouks for inspiring me to get my ass in gear and make poses, and offering advice. Also, for partially inspiring this post.

@foxsimthings for all your fantasy inspo!

@indigoelfinspirit for listening to my rants.

The anon who told me that my story “lives rent free” in their mind. That ask made my life. Everyone who’s ever left a comment or sent an ask about RTQ.

And also, every single person who has ever read RTQ, liked or reblogged a post, or submitted a sim I didn’t take. You’re a big part of the reason I keep sharing this story. I hope you continue to enjoy it as things get (hopefully) more interesting.

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haikyuuublog · 3 years ago

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Haikyuu Characters as Theater Kids: Inarizaki Edition ft. Sakusa

Sakusa:

Came to practice just to see what was going on and Atsumu pressured him into trying out

Atsumu tried to dance with him and Sakusa swatted his hand away. He then proceeded to speed walk to the corner and use the entire supply of Purrell to “rid himself of that annoying germ”

Atsumu asked him if he thought he was contaminated jokingly

Sakusa just responded with “yes”

Then Atsumu asked, “Would you still love me if I was a germ 🥺”

Sakusa never returned to practice again

Atsumu:

Gets mad every time someone in the audience so much as whispers during the show

Does the fist thing on stage even though there is no music or chant. It looks really stupid.

Gets in fights with Osamu all the time omfg

He was banned from being on the stage at the same time as him because they would throw hands in the middle of the play 😤

Osamu had a line where his character insulted Atsumu’s. Atsumu glared at him yelled, “Ok, I see how it is. Insulting me during the play so I can’t fight back. Jokes on you, I’m gonna fight you anyway!” And then he tackled him and they literally fought onstage.

After the show, people thought that the fight was part of the actual play and Atsumu got praised because “wow, that fight choreography looked so realistic!”

Despite the praise, the instant the audience left, Stage Crew Iwaizumi grabbed them both and said, “the next time you two fight each other in front of me, the fight’s about to get A LOT MORE REALISTIC”

I need to mention Stage Crew Iwaizumi whenever I have the chance because he lives in my head rent free 😌

Atsumu is also so fucking cocky and brags about how good he is

I actually think he would have a good singing voice which is unfortunate because he has a right to brag 😔

Is a ridiculous perfectionist too so he would really want to be the best and put in the effort

Does not cooperate with the other actors and complains nonstop

Has driven away people trying to audition because he straight up will tell them they suck

Really goes all out on stage though. This attention whore needs the standing ovation

Osamu:

Eats on set

Like he brings a whole ass meal and if he’s hungry he will bring the food on stage

One time Atsumu said, “you don’t need to bring food because I’m already a full course meal”

From then on, he brought food for everyone but Atsumu

He does cook all the time for everyone else though

It’s on sight every time he and Atsumu are in the same vicinity

Kita:

Literally the ideal cast member

Hardworking, practices consistently, a leader, smart, patient, cooperative, graceful, doesn’t need to be the center of attention, memorizes all the lines so he could fill in for any cast member etc.

I have no critiques: like he’s genuinely perfect

However, he is really intimidating sometimes

Atsumu complained all the time about Osamu not giving him food. He kept making these annoying passive-aggressive remarks towards him. Like Osamu would mess up a line and Atsumu would be like, “Well MAYBE if you had actually GIVEN someone food, this wouldn’t have happened” or Atsumu would forget a line and be like, “Damn, I’m so HUNGRY, it’s hard to think.” And would just pointedly look towards Osamu.

One day Kita had had enough. In the middle of a scene, this man gets up on stage, walks straight up to Atsumu, and stares him down. He doesn’t say anything. He just stares. With intense eye contact.

Kita is 175.2 cm (5’9”) and Atsumu is 183.6 cm (6’.03”). Yet somehow it felt like Kita was the one looking down on him

Atsumu ended up profusely apologizing and promising he’d never complain about it ever again

Kita basically used only eye contact and his presence to make Atsumu shut the fuck up

So yeah, like I said, Kita’s an absolute saint 😇

Suna:

Records everything to post online

He has a tea account where he posts all the videos; it is mainly the Miya twins fighting

Has amassed so many followers

Some videos he has not posted because he “wanted to use them for future reference”

Atsumu said that suspiciously sounded like blackmail and Suna gave no response which was more concerning than if he said anything

Aran:

Another great person to have in the cast

Helps keep people in line (mainly the Miya Twins), is a good actor, is supportive of everyone

Similar to Kita, he is very mature and poised on set (unlike most people *cough cough* the Miya Twins)

He helps keep them humble too. Especially Atsumu.

Every time Atsumu says something outta pocket, Aran calls him out. His favorite one to say is, “Until you fix your whack ass dye job, you have no right to talk shit about anyone.”

On one hand, Aran does mean to roast him, but also he genuinely really wants Atsumu to fix his dye job.

Which is incredibly valid

Because it’s really bad

He has a bet with Osamu on if he can convince Atsumu to change his hair color

Unfortunately for Atsumu, the color Osamu would secretly dye Atsumu’s hair with was hot pink

But honestly, it’d still be an upgrade 🤷‍♀️

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A/N:

I had a really long day of work today, and I really wanted to get out these headcanons before the day is over. I know I said this about last post, but I really don’t think that these ones are as well-done as the others. I’m sorry that they’re not as funny or creative.

Also, this whole post is basically Atsumu slander. I would like to say that I love Atsumu. I kin Atsumu. I simp for Atsumu. But will I ever stop slandering Atsumu? No. No I will not.

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hualianff · 3 years ago

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More Than This VI 《V》

It’s no surprise XL gains his own taste of fame after walking the red carpet with one of the most sought-after actors in the country. He doesn’t mind it, going as far as to create a few social media accounts to interact with fans and scroll through their photos and edits of him. He has a few fan sites too, but only for fancy events where he chooses to be recognized in public.

XL and HC agreed before sharing their relationship with the public that they would maintain a strong sense of privacy when it came to their personal lives. They only share what they want to. The paparazzi who manage to take photos without permission are immediately disciplined so it doesn’t happen again.

(“I can’t believe you did it.”

“Hmm, Gege said he was okay with it.”

“I know! But I didn’t expect you to actually....” XL stares at a recent selfie of them HC had posted on his Twitter, taken the night HC won his award. “We look like we just had sex.”

“Nobody’s gonna know.”

XL raises an unimpressed eyebrow at his boyfriend. HC insists again.

“Nobody’s gonna know-”

“They’re gonna know,” XL says with a sigh, pointing to the hickey marks clearly visible on the photo. HC rolls over closer to XL in their bed, scrutinizing the image on XL’s phone.

“Oh, I didn’t see those when I posted the photo.”

“San Laaang!” XL cries, pushing at the taller man’s shoulder before burying his face into his pillow. HC makes XL breakfast in bed as an apology and promises to not drunk-post anything again.)

Eight months after officially dating–which is over two years since they met–HC asks XL to move in with him. XL doesn’t even need to think about his answer, a simple “Yes! Yes please!” escaping his lips. Both HC and XL’s faces light up with overjoyed smiles.

They seem to have had the same idea about where to live, purchasing a home they’ve been eyeing for months! The best aspects include a massive yard (front, side, and back) for XL to tend to, a hot tub, and a spacious living and dining room area to entertain guests. It’s not the grandest or most impressive residence by size or feature. In fact, the first months have them living in a half-finished, rusty house with the prettiest garden you’ve ever seen.

It gradually gets better. HC and XL knew they would have to do a lot of work to improve the shape of their home. Over the next year, they repair and remodel the house themselves, simultaneously adding value to the property and curating the style to fit their dream home. XL makes sure to post progress photos on his social media. His most recent selfie of HC and himself in hardware glasses got over 500k likes! He pinned HC’s comment that said, “Gege is my own very handyman!”

(HC, in a sleeveless tee, shorts that show off his ass, hair pulled back into a high bun: “Gege, you’re the boss now. Tell me what to do.”

XL, struggling not to gawk at HC’s side boobs: “O-okay, first, can you smash those cabinets-”

Cue them making out against the counter when it’s the only part of the kitchen that is fully done.)

***

Having a partner who considers the outdoors as a second home is a special experience. XL often takes HC on dates to national parks and plant nurseries. They go on weekend camping trips where XL teaches HC how to properly filter water, summit long stretches of terrain, and stay warm during cold nights with below-freezing temperatures.

(HC, trying to fit into XL’s sleeping bag: “Hi, gege-”

XL: “San Lang, you have your own sleeping bag that you can actually fit in.”

HC: ‘But I’m cold. Gege helps keep me warm.”

XL: “Fine. But let’s use yours because it’s bigger.”

HC, kissing XL’s forehead: “Thank you, my love.”)

On their hikes, XL points to different plants, explaining their origins and why he finds each one particularly beautiful. At first, HC picks up random flowers on the way home and then he asks XL about what flower fate gave him that day to gift his beloved. (“San Lang, that’s not allowed!”) HC eventually stores all the random facts in his mind, always eager to listen to XL talking about his passion. He also learns to keep his hands from digging up “poor, helpless plants from their home soil.”

However, this unfortunately doesn't prevent HC from accidentally squishing some plants in their yard that he thought were just weeds.

(HC, thinking he’s a good partner: “Get out, stupid weeds. CHOP CHOP!”

XL: “SAN LANG STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

HC: “Gege always works so hard. I just wanted to help you in the yard today because you deserve it.” 🥺

XL: *sigh* “I appreciate the gesture, San Lang. But those particular grasses took months to grow, and you just killed them-“)

***

Countless media outlets try to stir up trouble like they typically do with celebrities. Especially when HC has roles that involve romance, articles claiming HC and XL are on the brink of breaking up receive lots of attention. However, what gains more attention are the videos the couple posts on Youtube or Instagram live of their reactions to their “scandals.”

(XL, reading a headline: “Actor bachelor Hua Cheng and co-star Yushi Huang seem to be cozying up after a late-night shoot.’”

HC: “I’m not a bachelor, the fuck?”

XL, smiling: “You could be. Me as well. We can be bachelors together.”

HC, chuckling: “All right. If gege is, then so am I.”

The comments: “That doesn’t make any sense!?”

HC, reading another headline: “HC’s lover found with a mysterious third party??”

XL, exclaiming: “Oh, that’s Shi Qingxuan! You know, the designer for all our red carpet outfits!” 🥰🥰

HC: *nodding along*

XL, cheekily: “-and my secret second-lover”

HC: *blanches* “What.”

XL: “Kidding!!!! San Lang is the only one for me, hehe.” *kisses HC’s cheek* “Okay, next one!”)

Everyone watching the videos is 50% confused and 50% entertained as HC and XL make light of any drama the media portrays them in. Viewers accept that of course, the rumors aren’t true; HC and XL are still very much in love.

They’re in love with each other and will continue falling for many years to come.

***

HC doesn’t like watching himself on screen. However, he does enjoy previewing his own movies for the first time with his boyfriend.

While XL watches the new movie, HC observes XL’s reactions. It helps that XL is a conversational movie watcher too. XL’s narrations consist of horny comments during the sexual scenes (“Ooh, that’s hot. Nice tongue.” “Thank you?”), side remarks about the plot and characters (“San Lang, your character is very rude.” “...”), and dramatic reactions to the huge reveal scenes where HC becomes a human punch bag. (“Oh my goooosh, San Lang!! It was him all along- AHH!!”)

As a perfectionist, something you have to be in HC’s field of work, HC is incredibly self-critical of his performance. Which is another reason why it’s nice to have XL watch alongside with, who never has a shortage of praises for his boyfriend.

(HC: “Fuck, why did they leave this shot in the final? I’m supposed to be mourning for my dead lover but instead, I look like I’m crying out of daddy issues. Why did no one tell me!? It looks so bad-” *pointing to himself on the screen* “-stop looking so constipated-!”

XL, squeezing HC’s nape and massaging his shoulders: “San Lang, no one thinks that except for you. You did everything perfectly. Please acknowledge your hard work and just enjoy the movie.”

HC: *sigh* “You’re right. Okay. Thanks, gege.”

A beat of silence. HC cuddles closer to XL.

HC: “Love you.”

XL: “Love you too.”)

***

XL now knows HC’s movies well enough to quote HC’s lines in his movies to make him laugh. HC happily indulges him, questioning after breaking character, “Gege, are you sure I’m the actor out of the two of us?”

One time, HC and XL are in their kitchen re-enacting a scene with HC as the investigator going to a bartender for more information on his suspect. HC has XL caged against the counter, asking in a teasing manner, “How can I repay you for your help tonight?”

XL lowers his eyelids, looking up through his lashes, flawlessly depicting his character. “Any restrictions on your offer?”

“No, darling. Name a price, a brand, a desire. Right now, anything is on the table,” HC says huskily. XL slyly bites his lip.

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

XL brings a hand up to cup HC’s jaw, then smooths it down his neck, traveling down his bare chest. XL tilts his head to expose his neck, wanting to build up his boyfriend’s anticipation. But before he can say his next line, HC effortlessly throws XL over his shoulder like a bag of rice.

“San Lang, wait, this is not how it went in the movie!” XL shouts, a little dizzy from the sudden lift turning him upside down. HC takes long strides to their bedroom, plopping XL on their mattress and blanketing him with his larger frame.

HC only utters a husky “we’re improvising” before diving down to devour XL’s lips. XL’s arms hook around HC’s neck, holding him impossibly close.

***

After a filming shoot where HC’s character gets beaten up–HC performing his own stunts–he heads home beyond exhausted. He just wants to take a relaxing shower and cuddle his boyfriend in their warm bed.

HC arrives at their house a little past midnight. He opens the door and finds XL’s back facing him, quietly humming a song as he takes care of the vase in the living room. The sight makes HC smile.

However, as XL turns around, the vase slips from his hands and explodes into pieces on the ground.

“San Lang! What happened to you!?” XL cries out, the panic in his voice only comparable to the day he had confessed. HC stands in the doorway confused. Was something wrong with his appearance?

XL is on him in an instant, his pupils shaking as he frantically asks, “Does it hurt a lot? What happened!?”

HC blinks, expression blank as he still doesn't understand what has freaked XL out. But as the shorter man gently caresses HC’s face, it suddenly hits him.

The make up!

HC urgently starts rubbing the fake bruises off his face. “Gege, I’m okay! It’s just make up, none of this is real. See?” He holds his hands out for XL to see as the pigment stains HC’s palms. “I’m so sorry! San Lang is dumb, he didn’t mean to make you worry,” HC murmurs as he takes XL between his arms. He really loves this man too much.

XL’s teary eyes shine glimmer as HC embraces him. “Y-you’re sure you’re okay?”

HC nods, leaning into the slender hand that cups his cheek.

“Thank goodness,” XL breaths out as he buries his face into HC’s neck. His next words are slightly muffled. “It looks…so realistic.”

“Yeah, the make up artists are all quite talented, aren’t they?”

XL clings tighter to HC.

“Very much so. Let’s shower so we can properly wash it off.”

“All right,” HC says. “Wait, we?”

XL tugs HC toward the master bathroom.

“Hush, let’s go.”

***

They lay in bed together after four long months of separation. Both of them had been in different parts of the country; HC filmed a drama series while XL traveled for several high-profile projects. Their respective busy work schedules limited communication to brief video chats and text messages, which never seemed enough.

Now, with his head resting on HC’s chest, their legs overlapping comfortably, XL finally feels like he’s where he belongs.

“Why did you choose me?”

Tactical fingers massage XL’s scalp, lulling him into a serene state of bliss. XL nuzzles further into his boyfriend-sized pillow.

“It’s not like I can choose who I fall in love with, Gege,” HC states with a light chuckle. “But if you want an answer, it’s because you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.”

XL looks up at his boyfriend, mouth forming a shape of an O.

“That simple? Even when we made a deal to have no strings attached?” XL asks. HC groans at the reminder of their initial agreement.

“Yes, which was a dumb decision on my part.”

“I agreed to it too. We were both dumb.”

They are silent for a moment. It’s not the first time they’ve talked about or referenced their insecurities when it came to confessing their feelings. XL’s luck when it came to dating someone who could love him for every part of him was practically nonexistent. HC’s constant grappling for his self-identity and worth rendered most of his relationships superficial. And temporary.

Always temporary.

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t like your plants though. They’re so pretty. And fascinating.” HC says, breaking the silence.

“They take up half our living room space.”

“So? You work with plants all day. They’re bound to be a part of your personal life as well.”

XL’s heart bursts with a sudden fondness. It’s a wonderful thing to be appreciated for the little things.

“I’m glad you think so,” he says happily. HC hums in response, sending vibrations to where XL’s cheek lays on his chest. “I can’t believe I didn’t know you were a famous actor for the first three months we…”

“Met up for sex?” HC finishes with an impish grin.

“Yes,” XL laughs.

“It was nice not to be recognized for once. With you, I could just be myself,” HC says with ease he never thought he would be able to do. He’s struggled with letting himself be vulnerable his whole life. It turns out, HC just had to find the right person. And thank god he did. XL is more than HC’s outlet from his career. He’s become HC’s closest friend who knows him the best; he is HC’s number one supporter in any endeavor he pursues; he makes HC feel important. XL sees and loves HC for who he is. No amount of fame or wealth could come close to comparison.

“Gege?”

“Hmm?”

“Does it ever bother you that my life is always everyone else’s business?” HC softly asks.

“Well, the fame can be a bit…uncomfortable,” XL admits. “But you’re an amazing actor. And a remarkable person. I can’t blame your fans for loving you so much, you know? I also got to ride in a limo-“

“Which you rode very well-”

XL flicks his boyfriend’s forehead.

“You’re so predictable.”

“You would’ve said the same thing given the chance. Don’t lie, gege.”

They go back and forth a little longer, never once creating unnecessary distance between each other as they roll around until they’re on their sides. Facing each other in their bed that’s been vacant for months, HC and XL are inseparable.

“As I was saying, fame is something that comes with your job–your passion. You can’t control it, nor does it solely characterize who you are. Besides, I get to be a part of your life! That’s all that really matters,” XL continues. He shifts forward so their bodies are closely pressed together. XL plants a kiss on HC’s chin, then whispers a confession that tilts HC’s entire world on its axis.

“I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you.”

HC’s world spins and spins until all that he sees is his beloved, gleaming brighter than all the galaxies without the power to disrupt their orbit. He wraps his arms around XL and kisses the top of his head.

“Me too, Gege.”

Bonus:

HC watches wearily as XL salivates at a showering scene where HC’s bare ass flashes in the frame. XL turns to HC with a serious look in his eyes.

“San Lang! Hiking has done your ass wonders.”

XL sneaks a grope to a meaty cheek. HC chokes.

***

“You can’t be late to your own premiere!” XL cries incredulously.

“Try me,” HC purrs into XL’s ear, delicately kissing the lobe.

XL gasps as teasing hands roam around his torso, one of them slipping down to cup his behind. He vaguely thinks about how SQX is expecting them in the next hour to help with their red carpet outfits. But when hungry lips attach to the sensitive column of his neck, XL is a goner.

“Gege doesn’t have to do any work. Just lay back and look pretty.”

(Brainchild with @no-one-says-hi!)

#tgcf #heavenly official's blessing #hualian #hualian au #cerdrabbles #fluff #Actor HC #Landscaper XL #fine.

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cangrellesteponme · 3 years ago

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NOOO YOU TOOK MY PICREW POST AND YOU MADE IT EVEN COOLER PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT THESE GUYS' DND SESSIONS ESP OF MEY RIN THE DUNGEON MASTER OMG I BET SHE'S SO AMAZING, BEYOND WHAT ANY OF THEM EXPECTED RHDYFU AND WHY EXACTLY IS SEB THE ONE PROVIDING SNACKS IS HE/SHE JUST BETTER AT REMEMBERING THAT STUFF, WHAT EVERYONE LIKES FOR SNAKS OR DOES OUR DEAR PERFECTIONIST ATTEMPT TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE HOME COOKED HEALTHY SNACKS?? XD I'm so sorry I'm too strangely hyper about all this PLEASE just tell me everything 🙇

okay so

Dungeon Master Mey-Rin: Their game is fairly relaxed, so she has a DMing style that matches that vibe: clear descriptions with real-life analogies, casual register and vocabulary, a storytelling focused on what is told and not how it's told, as long as the point gets across. I think she'd be the kind of DM who's completely unfazed by the unpredictability of her players, with a perfect poker face and the ability to make a nat20 on a stupid plan sound like a perfectly logical thing. Fully conviced she absolutely sucks at naming places and NPCs on the spot so they end up with very plain names like "John", "Sarah" and "Chad". Karen the Drow is a player favourite. Another thing, I think she'd be really good with moods and atmospheres and all that. Even the chaos of their game can't throw her off. Overall, an icon, a hilarious and talented DM.

Seb the snack provider: It's option three! Seb is just so fucking tired of seeing Bard and Grelle come with the most unhealthy snacks possible- it's like they're trying to one-up each other on how terrible their tastes are. Somebody had to save the table from this.

now for other headcanons i simply cannot keep contained in my little head

The group I'm thinking of is Mey-Rin, Seb, Grelle, Hannah, Bard, Agni, with on occasion literally everyone else (Ronald is there more often than not tho.)

They have a main game that is a long-ass campaign of pure high fantasy chaos in which the party saves the world 24/7... from the dangers they create because they never pay attention AS they save the world. Assassinated a corrupt king? He was some weird demon's warlock and now that thing is coming for the people's heads. Killed that ancient red dragon? You woke up a fucking tarrasque.

They also, on occasion, do shorter things on the side, exploring themes like piracy, urban fantasy, barocco chaos... It also allows for everyone else to try their hand at DMing. (So far, Grelle is the best. Her games are always filled with humour and over the top drama.)

As for how the players are: Seb is a freaking rules lawyer, Grelle is The Bard That Never Plays A Fucking Bard, Hannah is the one braincell that often goes on vacation and always drops dead five seconds into combat, Bard is the player who is STRUGGLING to do math on the spot after spending the last ten minutes trying to figure out what to to on their turn, Agni is the one that started out as Lawful Good with no backstory and ended up True Neutral with trauma, and Mey-Rin has a terrible case of "I forgot what my accent was but at this point it's a whatever happens happens kind of situation" because she definitely plays a warlock with Mask Of Many Faces. As for their guests, Ciel's a min-maxer who plays a Halfling Rogue, Will is a fucking metagamer who knows too much, Soma (bless his soul) has forgotten the rules for the 43rd time but he roleplays so well that he's forgiven, Ronald is the player with terrible plans but such great luck that he always pulls it off and makes it iconic, Alois makes great accents and has a three-pages long backstory in bullet points that perfectly fits into the universe and he remembers every single piece of lore BUT he sucks at combat, Mr Tanaka played in an older edition and thus uses the wrong words for everything but he's a great player and an even better DM. Everyone else, I have no idea yet.

#this is a very long post and at this point if anyone thought i wasn't a nerd... that's gone forever.#but i think it's worth it #kuroshitsuji #dnd #ota's ramblings #ota's ask answers

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zinzinina · 3 years ago

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do you have any tips for people that are starting to write?

Hi sweet anon!

I'm so flattered you thought to ask me for this, because my writing methods are pretty chaotic at best. There are heaps of wonderful resources and blogs around developing your technical skills and honing your storytelling, but I thought I'd just throw out the things that have stuck for me.

If you're just starting, I think the single best thing you can do is to read. So many authors I admire have said that the key to being a wonderful writer is to also be a voracious reader. Try to read things you normally wouldn't; you'd be surprised how much inspiration you'll find in works totally unrelated to whatever you had in mind for your own writing. And I don't just mean serious "quality" writing, (even though I love a good wanky literary tearjerker as much as the next Millennial girl lol shut up Sam) but everything. Comics and thrillers and poetry and non-fiction and erotica and shitty paperback Westerns. Like, the broader you read, the better. I'm deeply biased, but your local public library is great for this because our shelves stock titles you won't necessarily find on bestseller lists or in bookstores. The weirdest, most niche shit I've ever read has come from the library because it's been sitting there for thirty years and nobody remembers where it came from.

I only started doing this about six months ago so I'm still pretty new myself, but something that really helped me in the beginning was a piece of advice around drafting. I forget the clever analogy the person used, but it boiled down to this: your first draft is supposed to be the worst possible version of whatever you're writing, so don't scrap it halfway through just because it sucks. You can always tweak and edit things later, so just treat the initial process of getting the stupid fucking thing out of your head and onto paper as the starting point only. This is good advice if you're anything like me and a bit of an anxious perfectionist who likes to cry and abandon things when they don't turn out the way you wanted straightaway. I don't really bother drafting as religiously anymore, because I'm no longer as insanely anxious about writing, but it definitely helped me get over that hump of self doubt. It's also a good exercise in trying not to get too precious about anything you've written, because you might need to ditch it later.

I've seen conflicting opinions on that old ethos of "write every day, even if you don't feel like it" -- some say it's good advice, others say it's not. Personally, it works for me because the days that I don't feel like writing are usually the days I'm just feeling kinda depressed and bummed out and doubting myself. Which are shitty reasons to not do something you enjoy, and so if you tell yourself that it doesn't matter if you produce hot garbage because you're treating whatever you're writing as nothing but an exercise in practise, you've instantly taken pressure off yourself and suddenly the words flow a lot easier.

And it should be obvious, but don't force yourself to write something you don't want to. I'm assuming you're asking in the context of fanfic, which, while it's just as valid and meaningful as "original" (ew I hate the derisive connotations of that, hopefully you know what I'm trying to say here) writing, it also means this: there really aren't any "stakes" involved. None of us are getting paid, there are no deadlines, you don't have anything to uphold. Margaret Atwood has a sick quote about writing that I love because it gets me out of my own ass when I'm feeling self-pitying and creatively useless -- "Nobody is making you do this: you chose it, so don't whine."

While I totally get wanting to develop your skills and polish your writing as much as possible because hobbies are a trillion times more fun when we challenge ourselves with them, the bottom line is that nobody is going to be analysing your work as critically as you. 99% of readers aren't going to pick up on the tiny little secret things you've put in there for yourself, and that's okay. You can get as trashy and cliched and lazy and wanky and stupid and pretentious and bloated and indulgent as you like, because in the end fanfic is written primarily for your own enjoyment. If you do turn out something really shitty, who cares? What's the worst thing that could happen; people unfollow you? Someone leaves you a negative comment? Fuck 'em, you're sharing this for free. Just have fun and don't be too hard on yourself. If you ever feel like sharing anything you've written or want to talk more, feel free to DM me! x

#zin answers #anon #i really hope this incoherent word vomit has at least one usable piece of advice #sorry sorry #writing meta

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dylanhawth · 4 years ago

Text

[ LORENZO ZURZOLO, CISMAN, HE/HIM ] shh ! DYLAN HAWTHORNE, the TWENTY year old SECOND year ANTHROPOLOGY major from HARTFORD, CT is known as a TOURMALINE around here. HE was invited to join because HE PUBLISHED A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES ANONYMOUSLY THAT GARNERED A BIT OF FOLLOWING AND RECENTLY STEPPED FORWARD AS THE AUTHOR, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of THE NERVOUSNESS OF A FIRST KISS, LEAVING SECRET MESSAGES IN LIBRARY BOOKS, DRIVING AIMLESSLY WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN ON A WARM SUMMER NIGHT WHILE THE RADIO HUMS A PLAYLIST CURATED FOR YOU BY YOUR BEST FRIEND.

[ big ass bio ] | [ connections ] | [ pinterest ] | [ playlist ]

ooc.

omfg hello. i can’t tell you how excited and happy i am to be here. i was too nervous to apply for the last three months but i decided to stop being a Coward and just try. im SO happy to be here, it’s the highlight of my week tbh lmao. anyway i am mar, she/her, 24, est. i live in nyc and all i do is visit the planetarium and cry. i’m so fucking bad at these so im just gonna LIST things and hope you get the vibe. i am a pisces sun, scorpio moon. i prob have a napoleon complex a little bit lmao. my favorite social media site is goodreads and i get rlly sad when my friends rate books i love poorly dfljskdfs. i can touch my tongue to my nose. i eat a lot of persimmons. i have a favorite rock at my local park that i visit a lot. idk dfskjls. i’m v friendly tho so pls hmu. i send a lot of memes, and love making meme edits for the chars so im rlly sorry in advance if you guys hate that.

01. basics.

NAME. dylan h. hawthorne. ALIASES. dyl, hawth. AGE. twenty. HOMETOWN. hartford, ct. GENDER. cismale. PRONOUNS. he/him.

02. appearance.

EYES. green. HAIR. brown. HEIGHT. 6”0 BUILD. lean. BIRTHMARKS / BURNS / SCARS. a birthmark the shape of australia on his left thigh. TATTOOS. n/a. PIERCINGS. n/a.

03. habits.

ALCOHOL ? socially. SMOKING ? socially. HABITS. fidgets in chairs. cracks knuckles and back often. nervous laughter. chewing on pencils. talking to his plants. dogearing books. staring off into space and applying chapstick for a prolonged period of time. getting overly competitive about boardgames. stress cleaning. carries a book in his bag always. night owl. incredibly impatient when the internet is slow. creature of habit when it comes to menus, orders the same shit over and over again. LIKES. feeding the ducks at the local pond. the smell of the earth after a rainstorm. the way music sounds coming from another room. kissing. watering his plants. inside jokes. making wishes in fountains. discussing a recently finished book with someone. making handmade cards for friends on their birthday. fireworks. coming of age films. packages wrapped in twine. jogs. the way friday nights feels when you’re with someone you love. the feeling you get leaving the movie theatre. DISLIKES. being late. having too many coins on him. coffee with no sugar. when people speak loudly in the library. doing laundry. handshakes with too much squeeze. receiving voicemails. untidiness. golf. charles dickens. lectures with no student input. hot weather. confrontation. being caught in a lie. losing his umbrella. people who cheat during games. rainboots. bad table manners. humidity.

04. personality.

MYERS-BRIGGS. infp. ENNEAGRAM. the helper. ZODIAC. pisces. TEMPERAMENT. melancholic. ALIGNMENT. neutral good. ARCHETYPE. the lover. POSITIVE. empathetic. sensitive. intelligent. charismatic. easygoing. gentle. loyal. passionate. romantic. humble. supportive. gregarious. playful. diligent. NEGATIVE. deceitful. gullible. finicky. naive. obsessive. perfectionistic. secretive. timid. possessive. weak-willed. indecisive. cynical. indulgent. summary: basically, dylan is a love starved, people pleasing nervous wreck. big ass nerd who wants to be everyones friend, wants to be liked SO BAD. very charming and charismatic, comes off as fairly confident and comfortable at first. is able to make everyone feel loved and like they’re the most important person in the world, however lacks a backbone. is both romeo and juliet, and just as dumb as both of them too.

05. hc’s.

dylan was a football player in high school, believe it or not. he was rather good at it too, which is sort of jarring considering his pacifistic nature. however, he DID land on someone incorrectly at some point during his senior year, and broke their wrist. he quickly abandoned the sport altogether because of how guilty he felt.

touched on this briefly but dylan really… loves indiana jones lmao. like, it’s quite ironic given his absolutely inability to be a badass, and lack of suaveness. however, he admires indy’s lust for adventure. he also was obsessed with the mummy as a kid. both of these were incredible sources in his very irrational decision to sudden anthropology. however, he does really love and admire anthropology. his favorite ethnography is the spirit catches you and you fall down, which makes him cry like a little bitch every time he even thinks about it.

he’s the second oldest, but he is also baby. he is SUCH a big momma’s boy. he misses his mom so much. he writes to her often, and of course calls her even more. despite being six-foot tall, he still goes home and rests his head on his mother's lap, falls asleep as she runs her fingers through his hair. he often tries to find native english plants and flowers to press, and mail back to his mother in the form of bookmarks. has nEVER STEPPED ON A CRACK IN HIS LIFE, BABY.

just leaves a shit ton of notes in books in the library. some are riddles, some are poetry, some are commentary on the book, some are doodles. just depends on how he’s feeling for that book. he doesn’t tell anyone he does it, but he’s waiting for someone to connect the dots with his handwriting and writing style.

speaking of plants, his room is basically a big greenhouse. he has so many plants, and takes serious care of them all. he has a little humidifier in his space for them, marks down when he waters what plants, and has a label maker to label them all with a name. they are all named after shakespeare characters.

dyl is a doodler, so much so that he contributes to the school paper as a cartoonist. his cartoons are usually just random thoughts he has, but sometimes they get political and he works marxism into them. (this man loves marx.)

[ suicide implied tw, death mention tw ] he dresses like a victorian boy in love with his roommate who has recently died of scarlet fever and in his mourning, plans to disappear in the bog by the school by mysterious circumstances and become a ghost that haunts the college with his lover. like lots of gray and slacks and ties ands ties and sweaters, lol. also he has glasses that he never wears because he can never find them! catch him squinting in your classroom because he can’t see SHIT. too shy to ask you for your notes though, doesn’t wanna inconvenience you! but when he’s Out on the Town®, he fucking wears like, tacky patterned shirts that are expensive but ugly. someone please help him.

all about fun socks! he loves owning socks that have dumb little images on them. if you get him a pair of fun socks, he’d absolutely go nuts. his entire week: made.

he leaves his roommate limericks when he senses they are sad. tapes em to the bathroom mirror or leaves them in the fridge. also loves buying people presents. tiny ones. like haunted looking things from second hand stores, or your favorite chocolate. also is the sort of friend that has EVERYTHING in his bag, in case someone cuts themselves or has a headache. can be a bit of a mom himself. it’s the little things, y’know?

prob still in his emo phase. listens to way too mcr to not be lmao.

eco-friendly king, will not stand for you not recycling.

if you will allow him, he will attempt to have a secret handshake with you. he’s a child. is dying for someone to memorize the parent trap handshake and indulge him.

cannot sit still in a chair. fidgets an excessive amount, the bobbing of his knee and the squirming around. it just never ends.

bi. that’s the hc.

he’s a little bit in love with everyone he meets if you couldn’t tell, and it’s fucking disastrous.

he is based loosely off: patroclus ( the song of achilles ), ponyboy curtis ( the outsiders ), laurie laurence ( little women ), eduardo saverin ( the social network ), remus lupin ( hp ), oliver marks ( if we were villains. )

( @opalsmedia )

#opalsintro #intro #his background and things are in the big ass bio dfsklds but this is the gist of it lol

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multifandom-girlie · 4 years ago

Text

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬

Imagine:Imagine Requested by Anon. You move to New Orleans and meet Elijah who then introduces you to his younger brothers. You take him to your brothers wedding as your date but he also brings his brothers as plus ones.

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Human!Reader

Warnings: None

Words: 3596

Edited: Yes

Hi! I'm sorry so for the long wait, this was a really good request and I wanted to make it perfect for you. Now I can honestly say it still isn't to the best of my ability but I was stumped half way through and had to power through it. Sorry about the length I wasn't planning for it to be this long but it just ended up being so. Anyway I really hope you enjoy! Please comment requests or what you think of the imagine please. Thank you !

Recently, I moved to New Orleans. I did so because I heard great things and I am not disappointed. I moved here right in Mardi Gras season so it was okay but it's been a couple of months now and the tingles of excitement thinking about living here is incredible. At this moment in time, I was walking my dog. Barney. He's a beautiful German Shepard, he's getting older now but he'll always be my baby. We were walking down bourbon street and I was looking at my phone to check the time when I bumped into a pristine looking man. I dropped my phone and started giggling nervously.

"I'm so sorry, sir."

I bent down to pick up my phone but as I did we bumped heads, seeming as he lowered to pick it up too. We both looked at each other and started laughing. It's like I came straight out of a high school romance movie.

"It's absolutely okay. I should've moved when I saw you on your phone. I couldn't help but be-and forgive me if I'm overstepping-but be captivatingly beautiful."

I couldn't stop or even stall the luminous red blush engulfing my cheeks. The wind picked up in time to cover my face with my Y/H/C coloured hair.

"Oh, uh thank you."

"Sorry I shouldn't of said it, that was out of line."

I giggled as he walked away.

"Wait ! It wasn't, I'm just not used to compliments from people I bump into on the street."

He looked down with his hands in his trouser pockets and blessed my Y/E/C eyes with his sweet and wide grin.

"Sorry. Let me make it up to you. Would you let me buy you a coffee ?"

I giggled and Barney started licking the man's hand.

"Barney ! Stop it baby."

He laughed.

"It's quite alright. So coffee ? We can have it to go if you'd like?"

I smiled and Barney sat down next to my legs.

"Uh yeah, that would be nice."

***

"So you've bought me coffee and are walking around with me and I still don't know your name."

We laughed together.

"I apologise. My name's Elijah."

I looked at him in awe. His name was so beautiful and it matched his pristine look.

"I love your name, it's beautiful. My name's Y/N."

"Talk about beautiful names."

I looked away, again blushing. It made me smile so much because I always used to get picked on for my name despite loving it myself. It made me uncertain of the importance of self-love.

"Thank you, it means more than you may think."

We smiled and continued to walk in a serene silence.

"So, Elijah. When your not carelessly bumping into girls and dishing out compliments, what do you like to do ?"

He chuckled softly.

"I like to read a lot and I can cook when necessary."

This man becomes more intriguing by the second. I bet he's a great cook and the reading explains his extensive range of vocab.

"That's so cool, I cook and bake all the time. I love it so much and I don't read as much as I'd want but I like to sing."

"Oh yeah, do you sing for people ?"

"Uh sometimes, mainly special occasions like birthdays and stuff. I'm actually singing at my brother's wedding in a couple of months."

"Really, what a shame I don't get to see for myself your talent."

"I wouldn't really call it a big thing but I mean if it means that much. You seem nice so far, I was just gonna go stag but if you want to join me you can. It might be more fun if your there, I don't particularly love the women he's marrying so."

"That would be lovely. What's wrong with the woman?"

"Well, she's always stuck up around him you know. She licks his ass so much but whenever he's not around for a second she is the bitchiest most irritating girl in the world and not forgetting she's incredibly immature."

"Really, must be a irritating women then ?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

I looked up and realised that it's already quite dark out, which means I've spent a good couple of hours talking to Elijah. I told him where my apartment was and he left but not before exchanging numbers. That very night, I had no sleep because Elijah and I were texting all night.

In the morning, after still not getting any sleep. I had a text from Elijah just as I had finished brushing my teeth.

Elijah: Good morning Y/N! I hope your energised. How would you like to get lunch today ?- E.M

Reply: As energised as I can be, Elijah. I would love to get lunch today. I also need to get my dress for the wedding, help me pick ? Good morning by the way.

Elijah: Of course you do, trust you to not be prepared. I would be honoured to help you, I don't want to go to a complete stranger's wedding with my date looking like a tart.

Reply: Thank you Elijah. Self-confidence risen dramatically... what time do you want to meet ?

Elijah: I'll pick you up at 12:30.

Reply: Okay, see you then.

As soon as I sent my reply, I ran and jumped into the shower. I lathered my vanilla body wash all over my body and soaked my hair in cherry almond shampoo and conditioner. I hopped out and decided to leave my face free from makeup and put on a mask whilst getting ready. I quickly applied my charcoal face mask and started rooting through my wardrobe for some clothes. I looked at the clock and realised I only have 50 minutes to get ready. I decided to wear a sheet black crop top with coloured flowers on and flared sleeves along with a short denim skirt, brown ankle boots, some black tights and and brown bag to match my shoes.

I was just spraying some of my vanilla perfume when there was a knock at the door. My eyes shot to the clock and I watched as the clock turned 12:30. I opened the door to see him stood there with a warm smile on his face. I smiled back at him with just as much warmth.

"Hey Elijah. You weren't kidding when you said 12:30 were you ?"

He chuckled and straightened his posture more even if it was impossible to be standing any straighter than he already was. I get it now, he's a perfectionist.

"When I say a time, I mean it."

I giggled and shut the door, locking it behind me. I replied to his comment with a smirk on my face and walked off.

"I can see that, Mr Perfectionist."

He chuckled and followed me out. We we're taking a comfortably quiet stroll down bourbon street, not rushing to get to the mall.

"So Elijah, what is it ?"

He turned to me with slight confusion.

"What ever do you mean, Y/N?"

I could tell he was genuinely confused so I made the choice to elaborate. I turned my head to look at him with my arms crossed but still walking.

"You. The way you talk, your timing ? I mean your not just on time you were there in the second of it turning 12:30. How about that both times I've seen you, you've been wearing $10 000 suits. I mean we are going to lunch. Probably to get some pizza or sushi, not for a meal that costs like $300 take like one zero off that at least."

He looked shocked at me understandably so. I just called him out on practically everything that makes him Elijah. It's not that I have a problem with any of it. A man who has impeccable timing, amazing-expensive-but amazing dress sense and knows how to talk properly not "Sup baby, you busy tonight ?" The number of times that lines been used in me is incredible.

He looked at me with a prominent look of worry. Maybe I said the wrong thing, was I too blunt maybe ? Or he might think I don't like any of it. So I quickly decided to save myself.

"Before you think or even ask yourself if I don't like any of that, I do. I'm just not used to speaking to a man. Someone with great fashion sense, doesn't talk like in idiot and can actually pronounce and word things properly-in other words speaking actual english, someone who has manners, the looks, impeccable timing and knows how to charm a women. Your a women's dream I just didn't know you were so....dreamy."

A wide grin broke out on his face, with made me blush profusely. I saw the mall in front of us.

"Dreamy ? You have a way with words Miss Y/L/N. I apologise if I may have distracted you for being so dreamy."

I giggled and smacked his arm playfully.

"Hey it's not funny. Take the compliment or leave it, alright ? It just slipped out."

"Slipped out of your mouth or your dreams."

We started laughing together feeling more comfortable than when I had my curious outburst minutes ago.

We walked in the mall and I was lost for which shop to buy my dress in. I nudged Elijah's arm.

"You know any good shops to buy dresses ?"

I asked jokingly but to my surprise he dragged me into a shop I didn't see the name of. He stopped at the entrance and turned to me.

"We are going to do something because you have massively boosted my ego today unintentionally, I think. Your going to let me do something for you. To make sure you don't look like a tart is why I came with you, correct ?"

I nodded.

"Your are going to pick five dresses you like in this store and I am going to pick my favourite one and you have to wear it to the wedding, deal ?"

Not how I expected the day to go, being bossed around by a man who was a stranger not more than 2 days ago.

"How do you not have women lining up to be with you? As long as your this bossy in the bedroom, I will say deal to you as many times as you like."

I winked at him and walked further into the shop. Elijah stood there with a wide grin at the once innocent flirty comments turning rapidly less innocent and followed her.

Five. Five dresses is not hard to pick. Come on Y/n. Just one more. I stopped and looked around until I spotted the last one. I handed them to Elijah with a whispered comment as I walked out.

"One of those dresses are harder to get off then the rest I might need some assistance, make the right decision Mr Precision."

I waited outside for him to pick the dress. Minutes later he walked out of the shop with a wide grin on his face and a white paper bag that most likely has my dress in it.

"So ?"

He looked at me and winked.

"I made the right decision, don't you worry."

***

We walked over to Rousseau's and I persuaded him to sit down and eat. When the food arrived he looked at me weirdly.

"I can't eat this, Y/N."

I giggled at him a rolled my eyes.

"What worried about getting grease on your $10 000 suit. Don't even tell me you don't like it, what's not to love about a big greasy burger and fries with a beer. Or do you only drink wine and eat lobster with caviar ?"

He chuckled at me and took his jacket off and placed it on the back of his chair. He unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them up so they were now three quarters in length. The next thing I know is he's picking it up and taking a big bite of the burger whilst staring at me in the eyes to prove a point.

***

A little while later after it's like 6 pm we decide to leave the bar and go back to my apartment. I unlock the door and hang my jacket up whilst throwing my keys on the worktop in the kitchen. I kick my shoes off by the door and walk into the kitchen to look for some wine. Elijah follows me in a little later, having just taken his jacket off and hung it up.

"You look confused."

I'm rooting around in my pantry looking down my wine rack not finding the alcohol I wanted. Then the idea that it might be in the fridge popped into my head. I walked out of my pantry closing the door and opening my fridge finding the label staring at me in the face. I smiled and grabbed it before turning around and showing it to Elijah.

"I was trying to find this. A bottle of wine I was saving for when I had good company."

He grabbed the bottle out of my hands and inspected it, lastly he smirked.

"No wonder you saved it Y/N, this is an expensive wine. One they don't even sell in the United States. What did you do? Go on holiday and smuggle a bottle of rare and incredibly expensive wine back here ?"

"I guess you could say that but I didn't buy it...I won it. In a game of poker on my 26th birthday, I lived in Italy with my family and it was a bottle that was made the year I was born and my mother saved up for it and bought it. My dad annoyed her buy using it as a prize for our game of poker, he said it was pure luck just because it was made on my birthday. $6 863. That's the total cost."

"So your Italian ?"

I giggled and grabbed two glasses.

"Si signore."

He chuckled and followed me into the living room. I threw myself on the couch and sat upright so I could pour the wine.

"So you've juiced everything interesting out of me. What about you ?"

"The only interesting thing about me is my family I suppose. I have two older siblings and four younger siblings."

"Tell me about them."

"Okay. There's my eldest sister Freya she's 34; 5 years older than me. She's quite sweet but she was more of a long distance sibling for a while.Finn who's 33, we're not especially close. Niklaus or Klaus as he prefers, he's 25 and a menace all of the time consistently getting on my nerves. He's 4 years younger than me. Then Kol who is worse than Klaus, he's the most menacing of us all and an irritatingly common flirt even at 24.My youngest sister Rebekah, 17 and she's always had a flair for the dramatics, always looking for love. Then Henrik, who was 11 when he died. None of us really knew a lot about him except Klaus, he was the closest to him."

I widened my eyes and polished off my third glass of wine already. I put my hand on his, I leant forward a touch to pour more wine.

"I apologise for your loss. But, also for your seemingly irritant siblings."

"It's quite alright."

I grabbed his glass and placed the glasses down on the table and I felt my arm being dragged back and when looking forward, I noticed the close proximity of Elijah and I. Mere centimetres away we sat staring into each other's eyes with curiosity. I couldn't help but feel intimidated by the lingering stare he had on me and also slightly exhilarated. Swiftly our noses touched ever so slightly. It made it impossible to pull away like I probably should have. He leant forward some more making the pressure on our noses more noticeable and so suddenly his small soft lips reached for mine in a gentle peck. Our eyes fluttered closed, overwhelmed from the feeling a small kiss could make us feel. It was a foreign feeling, feeling this way from a kiss.

He gradually moved away a little and looked at me in the eyes. I didn't know what to say. His hands slowly raised and stroked the sides of my face before leaning in and giving me a quick peck. Just after he allowed me to cuddle into his side to watch a movie, I'd put on in the background when we sat down.

***

A couple of months later, we are still going strong. Elijah and I actually have the wedding to go to today, we flew out with his brothers unfortunately so we couldn't have much personal time. I am excited about seeing my dress though, I haven't seen it since when I picked the 5 dresses out at that store, I can't even remember what they all looked like.

I opened the bag and I pulled out a beautiful baby blue halter neck dress that will hug my body tightly, no wonder he liked it and of course it was the one with the zip. I actually will need help later now.

I decided to start getting ready and then spotting the lingerie he threw in there as well.

These last few months have been a dream. I have not been this happy for years. Elijah's perfect, yes we have a few differences that haven't been great to deal with but we've made it through and he makes me feel i'm living in my dream.

***

I walked out of the bathroom that I was getting ready in to see Elijah drinking a glass of wine on the bed.

"Babe it's 11 am, why are you drinking wine ?"

He jumped up and spat it out on the floor, unfortunately it was red wine. My eyes widened as I saw it immediately stain the floor.

"Lijah ! This is a hotel room, we aren't at home."

He shook his bed and fell on the floor on his knees, eyes still widened.

"Elijah. What's wrong with you, baby ?"

He shook his head and helped me scrub the floor. We are most definitely going to be late for this wedding. As I was squirting soap on the floor I hear a knock. I get up, leaving Elijah on the floor. I open the door to greet the brothers. They walked in and followed me to the bedroom where Elijah was still on the floor.

"Elijah mate, why are you on the floor ?"

He just continued to stare off. They looked at me and I shrugged.

"I don't know what happened. I walked out the bathroom, he spark his wine on the floor. Now we have to explain why we've stained their carpet."

***

We are greeting other guests and trying to find my brother. When I spot him he walks over. He hugs me and spins me around.

"God I missed you Y/N !"

"I missed you too Y/B/N, like you wouldn't believe. I would like to introduce you to some people I bought. This is Elijah, my boyfriend and has been for a couple of months now and-"

I introduced Elijah who was back to normal after I gave him a kiss apparently it was because I looked so beautiful. I cut myself off when going to introduce the brothers because when I looked over at them. They were the only two causing trouble, Kol was consistently flirting with married women and Klaus threatening people.

"and that's it. They are NOT with us."

Elijah and I looked at each other and he nodded. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the brothers, grabbing them by the wrists and dragging them over.

"Y/B/N these are Elijah's brothers. Kol and Klaus."

"Nice to meet you all, it's a shame I can't talk more to Elijah. I guess it's hard to talk to him when your sister doesn't tell you about him."

I looked down to the floor and back up innocently.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Right, we need to start getting ready."

"Okay go."

***

Flashback

I was sitting nervously on a couch at Elijah's House when he walks in with two good looking gentlemen.

"Y/N my darling, I would like for you to meet my brothers Kol and Niklaus."

"Call me Klaus. All my friends do."

He grabs my hand and kisses it. I blushed hard before most fortunately it disappeared, very quickly.

Kol walks closer and kisses me on the cheek and as he pulls away winks. Unfortunately, the blushed arose. Once again.

"Nice to meet you darling."

They are all insanely charming and flirtatious, it's nerve racking. No wonder, why they have so many female admirers.

***

I remember how different the greetings were for me and my brother. They were more chilled with my brother although still mischievous, yet with me it was flirtatious and misbehaving.

I can live with it now though. The flirtatiousness, I get enough from Elijah so I'm used to it. Kol and Klaus now are more comedic in my eyes with their fake sentiments of love for me, annoying Elijah and even bursting into our room after I've taken a shower to see if they scare me enough to drop my towel. Although, that's more Kol.

All I can say is, I'm way more comfortable with them now and I couldn't be happier to know that Elijah and I are going to last, a gut feeling tells me so.

OUTFIT

MASTERLIST

#elijah mikealson imagine #masterlist #the originals #the originals imagines #to imagine #Kol mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #imagines

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