Tumgik
#my peers other students no not really lol
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ALSO im dressed like all black plus baggy tee n sweats plus my beanie n lil safety pin dangly earring n like ok personally i thought it was not giving feminine much or explicitly and like standing at the end of the bus line boy is there and we're both at the end ppl are already standing there's only standing room and he tells me go ahead of him and it's like sir????? we are both going to be standing in the same bus what was tht for except to misgender me grrrrr stabbies you but then i guess there's also the i am so tiny factor and also the my gender expression thru my clothes switches wildly depending on my mood n like to an extent it's like we're all regulars on the bus he has definitely probably seen me b4 ive seen him countless times he probably knows what i am lol but it still gets me so irritated grrrrr
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bmpmp3 · 5 months
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dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!
#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters 😔#sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as#students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists#which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way#and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL)#i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities???#specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life#(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.)#(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms)#(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid)#(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?)#irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont#have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist#again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my#art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL#i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual#capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I#far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3#sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist#i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware#of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number#half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it#dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!!#what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone#motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
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queerstudiesnatural · 10 months
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google search what to do when your student calls you their best friend and wants to hang out with you during recess instead of their peers
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cherishedteddie · 1 year
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Takes a mental health day ( off from work ) to stay home and be mentally ill ( finish the last season of degrassi next class and cry my fucking eyes out )
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 7 months
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Pairing : Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : anonymous friends to lovers type beat ; physical fighting ; reader is bullied ; angst ; fluffy ending ; Word Count : 8.9k A/N : Haven't even started writing this one yet but I know it's gonna take a bit, I hope the wait is worth it!! I hope that this is good! I kind of changed things a little bit, but I feel like it's still good... right? It has a k-drama feel to it... Not proof read!! Request : Anonny : Hello! If your requests are open can you write something for skz han? Where han is a popular person that everyone likes and he doesn't know the identity of reader but they are able to have really nice conversations. He thinks he found the person he's been talking to and starts dating them and reader agrees to help the person with talking to him. But han actually starts talking to reader and realizes that they were the person he fell in love with. Reader didn't tell him their true identity bc they were told he could never love someone like them. I hope that makes sense.
An anonymous chat room… What could possibly go wrong? It had started as a way for other students to get help with certain subjects without the judgment of their peers over not knowing enough. Soon enough, like most things, it had completely lost its original reason for being made, and now it was being used for anything but studying. There were chat rooms for dissing people, chat rooms for hooking up, and then there was the more… safe chat rooms, for people that were just lonely and wanting to talk, people that were too awkward or shy to have conversations face to face. Everyone had an online identity that no one else knew about… A different persona… It was scary… But sometimes it was nice to just… Talk to someone. 
JiHizzy : Hey! You online? 
Your phone vibrated with the message, and you couldn’t help but smile at the familiar sound of the notification. You had been talking to him for weeks now, and it was the one part of your day that you truly looked forward to. 
JustAnotherGirl : Yeah! What’s up?
JiHizzy : Finally got back to my dorm. I was trying to study for finals…
JustAnotherGirl : I’m gonna guess that didn’t work out for you? 
JiHizzy : Crazily enough, I ended up at the bar instead of the library. 
JustAnotherGirl : I don’t know how you could possibly get the two confused lol
JiHizzy : It’s a friday night, I don’t think anyone was at the library. Weren’t you at the bar too? It was packed. 
JustAnotherGirl : Mm… Nope! I don’t really party like that, I was too busy studying for my finals. 
JiHizzy : Ooh, the innocent type? I like that.
JustAnotherGirl : Are you flirting with me? 
JiHizzy : I might be… You know the acronym of your username is jag… all you need is I and you’d be jagi to me. 
JustAnotherGirl : That must be the alcohol talking…
JiHizzy : Not at all. You’re just my type. I really want to meet you.
JustAnotherGirl : Oh, would you look at the time? We should get some sleep! Goodnight! 
While it was supposed to stay an anonymous chat room, some people were just too popular to stay hidden longer than the first week. One of those people was JiHizzy, better known as Han Jisung, the most popular guy on campus simply because of his looks. All of the girls wanted him, and all of the guys wanted to be him. He was the top of the totem pole, and that put you at the very bottom. 
If the two of you were to walk past each other on campus, he wouldn’t even spare you a passing glance… But with the promise of anonymity, you were able to talk to him every night. You were able to know what it felt like to be liked by someone like him. You could never meet him though, if he found out who you really were… He’d stop talking to you immediately. You didn’t want to lose him… Even if you didn’t truly have him. 
///
JiHizzy : Are you in class right now? 
In the silence of the classroom, the vibration of your phone was much louder than you thought it would be. Everyone turned to look in your direction, and you quickly grabbed your phone and placed it on your lap, hoping that if another message came in, it would be silent. 
JiHizzy : I know you are, you’re such a good girl… WAIT DOES THAT SOUND WEIRD!? I’M SORRY!! 
JiHizzy : I was just thinking that maybe… Maybe you could tell me what class you’re in…
JiHizzy : And I could get a glimpse of you… Or who I think is you… I just want to have a face to go with the name…
You held in your sigh as you felt your phone vibrate incessantly against your lap, chewing on your bottom lip as you attempted to focus on your studies, but it seemed like he wouldn’t let up unless you responded. 
JiHizzy : PLEASE!! 
JustAnotherGirl : Why is it so important? I like being anonymous… I like talking to you…
JiHizzy : Because I like you, and I can’t stop thinking about you, and I want to daydream about you…
JiHizzy : But it’s kind of hard to daydream about someone if I don’t know what they look like.
JustAnotherGirl : Well, daydream about what you think I look like. It’s probably better than how I really look anyway. 
JiHizzy : You’re talking like I’ll stop messaging you or stop liking you if I meet you…
JiHizzy : You don’t think I’m that kind of person… Do you? 
JustAnotherGirl : I don’t know who you are… But it’s just easier like this for me… 
JiHizzy : Alright alright
JiHizzy : I’m sorry if I upset you…
JiHizzy : But hey! I heard that they’re releasing an update soon where we can actually talk to each other on the phone!
JustAnotherGirl : Can’t people tell who other people are by their voice? 
JiHizzy : Idk… But I want to call you when it comes out. Can we at least do that?
JustAnotherGirl : Maybe… I’ll think about it… I have to study now. So do you! 
JiHizzy : Right! Okay, I’ll message you later! 
He daydreamed about you… He thought about you… You wondered what this image looked like, the girl that he thought you were. You were sure that it looked nothing like you, and it was better that way. He was so popular, you didn’t want to tarnish his image if he was even seen talking with you, let alone walking beside you… although you were sure that something like that would never happen. 
///
When the call feature was released, everyone was so excited. People were testing it out as soon as their apps updated… But you were dreading it. Texting guaranteed staying anonymous, but hearing someone's voice, even if they didn’t know what you looked like, a voice was a way to identify someone. Even Jisungs voice, anyone and everyone could tell it was him coming if they heard him talking. His voice was distinct, it was his and his only. You didn’t know how distinct your voice would be, and the only thing you had going for you was the fact that you didn’t talk much at all. 
A time that you’d usually be counting down to now had your stomach twisted up into knots, your knees folded up against your chest as you tried to think of anything but the inevitable phone call that you knew he would ask for. “What’s got you all worked up?” Your roommate asked as she walked into your room. As if things couldn’t get any worse, she just had to be back in at a normal hour. 
Of course you had gotten paired up to dorm with the most popular girl on campus, it was just another way of lifes mysterious twists and turns supposedly. She was absolutely ruthless, and while you had asked to have your room changed at the beginning of every semester, it miraculously could never be done. As if college wasn’t hard enough, having to reside with her was just added stress. 
“Fine. Ignore me. I didn’t want to talk to you anyway.” She mumbled, dropping down onto the ridiculously large and disgustingly luxurious bed that took up almost the entirety of her half of the room. She was rich, of course she was, and she took every opportunity to flaunt her wealth to everyone on campus, and you were no exception, you just got the brunt of it. 
“I’m gonna take a shower real quick… Do you have to use the bathroom before I get in?” You asked, keeping your head down so she didn’t look at you like the peasant that you knew she thought you were. She scoffed loudly, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw her flick her wrist in the direction of the bathroom. 
JiHizzy : You awake? Don’t tell me you’re sleeping already! 
JiHizzy : You haven’t been online in 3 hours! Come onnnnn!
JiHizzy : Are you ignoring me?!?!?! :( 
JiHizzy : Did I do something… Say something wrong? 
JiHizzy : Ahhh… Maybe you are sleeping… Okay 
JiHizzy : Goodnight! Sleep well!!
You never took your phone into the bathroom with you, not just because it seemed unsanitary or unhygienic, you also couldn’t afford to potentially drop it on the tile floor and bust the screen. Maybe you should have, but again, you didn’t think that your roommate would go through your phone. You were pretty sure that she wouldn’t even touch something that belonged to you. You had never been more wrong. 
The vibrating of your phone had caught her attention, and maybe if it had only gone off once she would have ignored it, but Jisung was a spam texter. “Hmm…” She hummed to herself as she snatched your phone off the nightstand, and her curiosity quickly turned to annoyance when she saw just who had been texting you. “No way… There’s no way!” She shrieked, glaring at your phone. 
As the story goes, the popular guy should automatically be with the popular girl… that’s how it always goes! She wouldn’t allow something like this to happen… It just couldn’t. She was being a good person, she had to look out for Jisungs reputation, that’s what it was. Luckily everything was anonymous, you were anonymous… He wouldn’t have to be embarrassed to like you… He wouldn’t even have to know it was you. 
“What are you doing?” She was still holding your phone as you walked out of the bathroom, and your stomach dropped as you thought about what she could have been doing to your phone. Why would she even have it. “Look… I don’t touch your stuff, please don’t touch mine.” You mumbled as you scurried over to grab your phone out of her hand. 
“Jesus, don’t have a tantrum.” She muttered, rolling her eyes as she turned her attention back to her own phone. “Maybe you should silence your notifications before leaving your phone unattended.” Her words only worried you more, prompting you to check what she could have been talking about, and you could feel the anxiousness creeping up further and further until it had taken you over completely. 
She had seen the notifications, and you’d be a fool to think that she didn’t know exactly who it was that was messaging you. Would she tell him? It would be absolutely humiliating, it would destroy you, you couldn’t imagine the way he and his friends would react to finding out that it was you who he had been talking to. Should you tell her not to say anything? “I…” No… It might make her say something. Maybe she’ll forget about it in the morning. That would be the best case scenario. 
“I think Han Jisung and I would be the perfect couple, right? I mean, we’re both popular, we’re both insanely attractive! That’s why I feel so bad for him, you know? It’s not like he’d willingly go for a complete loser, but this stupid anonymous app is really getting his hopes up.” You were right there, she knew exactly what she was doing, but she still had the audacity to look over at you with the fakest smile. “Were you saying something?” 
“N-No…” You stammered, pushing yourself up off your bed and heading to the door. “I’m gonna take a walk, I’ll be back later…” She didn’t say anything to you as you left, simply laughing along with the multitudes of friends that she had on call. Had she told them? Were they all laughing at you? Of course they were, she was right… Why would he want to be with someone like you? You were a nobody, a speck of dust, no… Not even that. People notice dust… you were less than that. 
But why didn’t you deserve to be happy, even if that meant staying behind the safety and security of your phone screen and a basic username? Were you not allowed to have anything? Not even some sort of happiness brought by anonymous interaction? Isn’t that how everything on the internet is nowadays anyway? No one really knows each other… So why is it such a big deal if you talk to him? Why should you be shamed for doing it the way you have been? Could you not even have this one thing? 
Being outside was like a breath of fresh air, at least for a moment, but those thoughts brought on by the words of your roommate were suffocating. Should you even respond to him? He thought you were sleeping already… you could tell him you had been busy… His messages have the ability to help you feel better in an instant, and you needed that now. You clicked on the notification and quickly typed in your password to open the app, and not even a second passed before your phone was vibrating in your hand. 
JiHizzy : Hey! There you are! 
JustAnotherGirl : Hm… Were you just sitting and waiting for me to come online?
JiHizzy : and what if I was?? 
JiHizzy : you know I can’t sleep without talking to you first. 
JustAnotherGirl : I didn’t know that though…
JiHizzy : well now you know! :D 
JiHizzy : so… the call feature came out! I want to call you! Can I?
JustAnotherGirl : uhm… I don’t know… 
JiHizzy : are you in your room? Is your roommate sleeping? I can talk quiet!
JustAnotherGirl : no… no it’s not that…
JiHizzy : I want to hear your voice… please? We can talk about anything! Anything you want! 
JustAnotherGirl : I guess… 
In a second your phone was buzzing, Jisungs screen name front and center on your screen. What a foolish feature this is, why not just give people your phone number if you’ll just talk on the phone? What’s next? Video calling? What if…? You would never do that… You couldn’t… He wouldn’t want to see you anyway. 
Your hands shook as you accepted the call and brought your phone up to your ear. “Hehe, hey! Took you a bit to answer, I thought you’d just ignore me!” His voice came with a face, one that you could perfectly envision in your mind. His smile, the creasing of his eyes as he probably laid back against his pillow, one arm tucked under his head, perfectly at ease with everything. He was so lucky and he probably didn’t even realize it. 
“Oh… uh… no. I was just… trying to find somewhere to sit.” You lied, looking around at the line of streetlamps that illuminated the sidewalks that led to different buildings. “H-Hi…” You stammered, and you knew exactly why you were flustered, why you were so nervous. Jisung was practically a GOD here, and you might as well have been an earthworm with how much lower you were than him. If anyone found out about this, you were sure that the both of you would be humiliated, but for vastly different reasons. 
“You don’t have a couch or a bed or anything in your dorm?” He asked, and you felt stupid, this whole thing just felt insanely stupid. So what if you didn’t have a couch or a bed in your dorm anyway, not everyone was made of money! What was he going to do, judge you for it? “Well… Look, if you need help or anything… I-” 
“I don’t need help.” You stated quickly, and you truly didn’t. Sure, you didn’t have a couch or a flat screen television in your dorm, but you had a bed, and that was more than what most people had, so you had no reason to complain. “I’m actually-” A particularly loud gust of wind whipped around you, the force so strong that you could almost hear it crackling in your speaker, and it whipped up freshly fallen leaves around you. 
“Are you outside?” There was a slight panic in his voice, although you weren’t sure why. It’s not like you hadn’t braved elements far more atrocious than wind before. But then again, he didn’t exactly know you well. With the image he had in his mind of you, he probably thought you were too pretty, too perfect to be outside in the wind, potentially getting your hair messed up. “Did you go outside just to talk to me? I-If I knew you were going to do that, I would have just said to wait until a different day to call. I don’t want you to get ill.” 
You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Was he always this caring, or was he just pretending? Only the people closest to him would know, and you weren’t close to him at all. Surely to be as popular as he was, he’d have to be some kind of an asshole… That’s how the movies and the shows always depict the popular guys. They were too good for people like you… But… He didn’t know you were a person… A person like you. “It’s fine, really. I’ve walked home in thunderstorms before… A little gust of wind isn’t going to take me out.” 
There was a sigh from his end of the call, and then the rustling of what sounded like sheets or blankets. “Well tell me where you are. You’re already out, and I wouldn’t mind walking a bit to come see you. I really want to know you… I can get my shoes on real quick and-” You hung up the call before he was finished, your breath held in your throat, and you didn’t let it go until you were certain the call was ended. It was rude, sure, of course it was… But why was he so god damn pressed on meeting you!? Why wasn’t this good enough for him too?! 
JiHizzy : Did the call cut out? Was it the wind?? Are you okay!?
JiHizzy : If you don’t answer me, I’ll… I don’t know… I’m not a computer wizard but…
JiHizzy : I know people can trace things and… Please tell me you’re okay. I’m worried.
JustAnotherGirl : yeah… I’m fine… 
JustAnotherGirl : my phone battery is dying… 
JiHizzy : Oh! Okay! 
JiHizzy : Get inside quick, please. Charge your phone and message me in the morning… yeah?
JustAnotherGirl : yeah… 
JustAnotherGirl : Goodnight…
JiHizzy : Goodnight beautiful! 
This was getting worse, it was only going to get harder… Maybe you should cut ties with him now… It would be better that way, wouldn’t it? It wasn’t paying off to selfishly keep him, basically trapped behind your phone screen because you were scared of the embarrassment that would come along with actually meeting him. You needed to let him go…
///
Your roommate was laying in bed, a sheet mask over her face and the bedside table lamp had been dimmed. She was sleeping, at least that’s what you thought, until the door latch clicked as you shut it and she jumped up. “What were you out doing, huh?” The questions immediately started, and you shook your head, going over to your bed and yanking back the blankets. “I know that you weren’t out with… him. He would drop dead before being seen with the likes of you, ya know?” 
She snickered annoyingly, and you whipped around, your face scrunched up as you tried to keep the tears at bay. “How? How do you know that? How should I know that?! Do you know him?! Do you really know him?!” You asked, or, more like begged for her to give you the answers. You weren’t really sure why you were going to her of all people, maybe you were just desperate to hear that… that you would be good enough… Maybe not for him… But for someone. 
The loud laugh that poured from her lips was like a gut punch, and you dropped down onto your bed, absolutely humiliated, devastated, you felt like a fool. “Listen… I’m gonna do you a favor… You know, since we’re… friends…” This was bound to be an awful idea, you were sure of it, but you felt like she was going to keep talking anyway and… It was beginning to feel like you didn’t have a choice. “I think it’ll be a win for both of us… So, I’ll meet him, as you… And you get to keep talking to him at night. He’ll fall in love with me and my beautiful looks, as everyone always does, and… Well, you won’t be lonely. How does that sound?” 
It sounded terrible, it sounded awful, it was an elaborate ruse that surely no one would fall for… But… He wouldn’t ask you to meet him anymore… You’d still talk to him… She wouldn’t bother you or even have a reason to try to embarrass you on campus. You could stay hidden, it could work… It could really work. “Fine…” You mumbled, running your hands over your face, trying not to think too hard. “You… I don’t want to get involved too much with… What the two of you might do… But if he brings it up in the chat… You’ll have to… Tell me…” It was the last thing you’d ever want to know, but if this was going to work, you’d have to give him up just to have him still… It sounded crazy. You’d never have with him what she could… All you would ever be able to have are late night conversations, living out a fantasy through the tellings of your roommate and him. It would have to be good enough. 
“Oh, don’t worry… I’ll tell you everything!” She clapped her perfectly manicured nails together, and you knew there was something sinister about it, but this felt like the only way. “Get some sleep, we have a lot of planning to do tomorrow. This is going to be great!” 
///
“Where did you tell him to meet me… I mean… you?” She whispered, reading over your shoulder to try to see what the messages on your phone said. This was it… Today was the day… She’d probably tell him to delete the app since he finally met “you”. Was it worth it? Probably not… But you had been alone for the longest time before this all happened, you’d be fine with being alone after this as well. Nothing would change for you… But she would get everything she wanted… As if she didn’t have it all already. 
“The… The fountain, at the center of campus…” You mumbled. Would he really think it was you? The two of you sounded nothing alike… But would he be able to pick up on that? Probably not, he didn’t seem like the type that really cared for things like that. He was so excited that you finally agreed to meet him, the messages were flooding in and she had been right there to read all of them. 
JiHizzy : I’m on my way to the fountain now! 
JiHizzy : I can’t believe this is finally happening… We’ve been talking for almost 4 months now…
JiHizzy : Isn’t this crazy?!?! 
JiHizzy : I’m just a little nervous… I hope you don’t mind.
JustAnotherGirl : I don’t… I don’t mind at all…
Have fun… You thought to yourself as you stood at a distance, watching as Jooyi stood at the fountain, switching between sitting on the edge and standing every couple of seconds. She fumbled with the edge of her skirt, and fixed her hair, then checked her makeup. She was nothing like you… Would he be able to notice, even if you had only talked through text and occasionally on the phone? Was he able to tell your personality through little things like that? 
Then you saw him, practically sprinting towards the fountain, it was like everything was in slow motion. Did he even know who to look for? Would Jooyi fit the image of you that he created in his mind? You leaned against the light pole, your phone clutched against your chest… One message and you could ruin this all for her… But it would cost you too much, and you would have nothing to show for it, nothing to gain. People like you weren’t made for people like him, he would never stoop so low as to even look in your direction. They were made for each other… Who were you to ruin things? 
“Jisung!” You heard her voice ringing in your ears, and you looked up from the pavement to see her waving in his direction, and he paused. Did he know? You watched him closely, and you saw the smile slowly beginning to form on his face before he sprinted over to her. His arms wrapped around her waist in a tight hug, picking her up and spinning her around before setting her on the ground. It would never be you, that could never be you… You made two people happy today… It should feel good, but you felt sick, and you quickly turned away, rushing back to your dorm room. You didn’t have to be there to watch it, you’d hear all about it when she came back. 
///
JiHizzy : It was… Wow… 
JiHizzy : Finally meeting you in person! It’s amazing! 
JustAnotherGirl : Yeah! I’m so happy that I finally got to meet you! 
You sniffled softly as you looked over his messages. They wouldn’t be the same again, nothing would. He’d talk about everything that he did with “you”, and you’d just have to respond as if… as if it were truly you there. This… This deal… It wasn’t fair at all. It was just rubbing into your face everything that Jooyi got to do with him… And he was the one unknowingly telling you… She was evil… But she was a master at being just that. 
JiHizzy : Well… Do you want to talk on the phone? I mean… 
JiHizzy : We’ve already met each other and… I don’t know why… 
JiHizzy : I could ask you for your number… But I don’t want to get rid of the app.
JustAnotherGirl : oh? Why?
JiHizzy : There’s just so many memories on here…
JiHizzy : Sometimes when I’m alone or sad… I go back through our messages. You really know how to make me happy…
JustAnotherGirl : Really…?
JiHizzy : Yeah… Really. 
JiHizzy : Don’t tell anyone though! The guys would totally mock me for that.
JustAnotherGirl : I won’t… I won’t tell anyone.
Jooyi burst through the door, shopping bags lining her arms and she dropped them carelessly to the floor before falling back onto her bed, a loud, ear piercing squeal escaping her as she kicked her feet. “He’s so amazing! He’s so much cuter up close! He wants to take me on a date this weekend!!” She squealed again, and you felt disgusted. Did he want to take her on a date, or did he want to take you on a date? Was it her looks or was it your personality that he liked? 
“I’m… Really happy for you, Jooyi.” You lied through gritted teeth. You hated hearing about it, you hated hearing her in general, but hearing her talk about him as if she was the one who had put in the work over four months to get him to like her… It was unfair. You faked a yawn and rubbed your eyes, acting tired just to be able to wipe your tears without her noticing. “I’m gonna go to the library and study. I’ll see you later.” 
She was lost in her own world, but she sat up as you reached the door, your backpack slung over your shoulder and your hand on the doorknob. “Hey!” You put on a smile as you turned to face her, waiting for her to continue. “Did he message you? Did he talk about me? Hmm?” 
You felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket, you knew it was him, but you shook your head. “Haven’t heard from him… Maybe he deleted the app… I don’t know. I have to study though, I’ll let you know if he does.” She sighed softly, letting her head fall back against the mattress, she was back in dreamland. Her whole life was a dream… And yours was a nonstop nightmare. 
///
The library was practically empty when you walked in, you could hear every squeak of the floorboards as the one or two other students paced the shelves of books. You could almost hear the buzzing of the fluorescent light that hung over your head… You could hear… “Is this seat taken?” The man asked, and you looked up to see Jisung standing next to the chair that was across from you. It was strange, and you looked around at the vast amount of empty tables that filled the large building. Why would he want to sit with you? “I don’t like sitting by myself… I feel like it’s easier to study when I have someone sitting with me.” 
Could he read your mind? Pfft, no! That’s impossible. “It’s not taken…” You mumbled, trying to keep your voice low, hoping that he wouldn’t recognize it from the phone calls. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how furious Jooyi would be if she found out about this. Maybe you should just leave. You could study another night. Then your phone vibrated against the table, your heart froze, and Jisung, who had been smiling at his own phone looked up at you. 
“Heh… That’s a coincidence. I just sent a message and your phone vibrated!” He said rather cheerfully, and the way he looked at you, it was like he was expecting you to check it. There was no way in hell you’d do that though. You awkwardly giggled, shoving your phone into your backpack as you shook your head. 
“Probably an email or something… It is… Ironic though…” You whispered, lowering your head even further into the textbook that you had opened. You felt his eyes linger on you though, like they were burning through you, and you didn’t know whether to feel flustered, nervous, or both those things and everything in between. “D-Do you need something? A pencil… Or-” 
“I know you…” He said matter-of-factly, and it was like your throat closed up and your chest tightened. How did he know you? What was he talking about? He couldn’t possibly know you. “You’re the top student… You’re like, mega smart! I can see why now… Do you always study this late?” 
Relief, a sigh of relief and a deep breath. You were safe… You shouldn’t overthink too much. “Mmn…” You nodded your head once but kept it bowed, trying to focus on the words in the textbook, but it was so hard. “Thank you…” You added, wondering if maybe that was what he was waiting for. 
He chuckled softly, and then you felt the table shake as he dropped his own backpack on the table and started pulling out a bunch of notebooks. “You make it seem so easy. How do you just… Concentrate? It’s so hard for me to do.” He whined, and you looked around as his voice got higher and higher. “Oh… Sorry.” His voice dropped back down to a whisper and then he chuckled softly. 
His laugh was contagious and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him, your hand clasping over your mouth to try to muffle the noise. “It’s easy… You just have to find the fun in it.” He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you and you pursed your lips, trying not to laugh at his reaction. “Seriously. Here, let me show you.” 
It was supposed to be a solo study session, honestly, it was just to try to get away from your roommate long enough for her to fall asleep. You never in your wildest dreams expected this to happen. It was like a scene straight out of a k-drama, but you also knew that after these types of scenes, things got bad. But you didn’t want to think about that right now… All you could think about was the way that he laughed with you, the way he smiled at you, the way he talked to you like you were a person and not just the dirt beneath his shoes. 
“You remind me of someone.” He said nonchalantly as you both started packing up your books. You blinked a few times, your head tilting to the side as you waited for him to elaborate, but he was looking at his phone, his smile dropping slightly as he turned it off and slid it into his pocket. “Oh… It’s nothing. She must have just fallen asleep. She’s always so tired. She studies a lot… Kind of like you. Maybe you can tutor me… I’ll bring her too! That would be cool, right?” Cool… Not at all. It was the complete opposite of cool. That… That would never work.
“M-Maybe… I don’t know… I tutor a couple other people.” You came up with the lie quickly, and you hated the way his smile almost completely disappeared. Maybe you could make an exception… It’s not like he’d find out… Right? Jooyi would just have to act interested in studying. You were sure that if you told her, she’d be on board… “I’ll… I’ll see if I can schedule you in.” 
And just like that, his smile was back and he was pulling his phone out again. “Awesome! Uhm, how about we exchange phone numbers and…” He trailed off when he saw the look on your face, and you were sure that you looked quite uneasy. There was no way that would go over well with Jooyi, she’d flip shit. “How about Anonny… You know the app, right? Everyone has it!” Oh shit… That was even worse. 
“How about… We leave it up to fate.” His eyebrow arched, and you were really going out on a limb here with the excuses, but you had to protect yourself… Not just from him, but from Jooyi too. You didn’t have much to lose… But it was enough to have you terrified. “If we both manage to come to the library at the same time, if you see me here, I’ll tutor you. I usually come at night though… Just so you know.” 
You bowed your head to him as you got up, putting on your backpack and heading out, and you could hear him following behind you. “I’ll be here. Every night. I’ll study on my own too… Thank you, for helping me.” You hummed in response, pushing open the main door and you were met with a rather brisk gust of wind that had you shivering and shoving your hands into your pockets. “Are you cold? Here…” He shimmied out of his top coat, placing it over your shoulders and smiling when he saw it on you. “You can return it to me next time fate brings us together, okay? Just stay warm, and get home safe.” 
For fucks sake… 
///
JiHizzy : Hey, whatcha up to?
JiHizzy : It’s been like… 3 hours… Are you mad or something? 
JiHizzy : You must be sleeping… I just feel like somethings wrong… 
JiHizzy : Let me know when you get this message… Okay?
Your roommate was fast asleep when you finally got in, and you quickly took off Jisungs coat and slid it under your bed, safe for now at least from the prying eyes of Jooyi. As you curled up under your blankets, ready to just fall asleep, ready to let yourself drift off into a world where you didn’t have to pretend and you didn’t have to lie to the man who had sat across from you in the library when there were so many tables to choose from. The man who smiled at you and made you feel like you were the only person in the room. Then your phone vibrated once more from under your pillow. 
JiHizzy : I was studying tonight… I know how important it is to you and… I wanted to do it. JiHizzy : I met someone there, she reminded me of you a lot! 
JiHizzy : I hope these aren’t waking you up… I know you’re sleeping. 
JustAnotherGirl : I was at the library too. We must have just missed each other…
JiHizzy : NO WAY! Dammit! Well… 
JiHizzy : I was thinking that we can do study dates. Wouldn’t that be cool? 
JustAnotherGirl : It would. I really like that idea. 
JiHizzy : Awesome! Okay! 
JiHizzy : Goodnight cutie! 
Study dates… That’s how you had looked at tonight, or you were just delusional. If tonight had happened sooner… Would you have taken Jooyi up on her deal? He seemed to be just fine with you… He wasn’t embarrassed, he wasn’t ashamed to be sitting across from you and laughing with you… Would he have liked you still if he knew who you really were? 
///
“So, how was your night last night? You got home safe?” Jisung asked and you heard Jooyi giggle loudly, it was so fake, it made you sick. He was such a genuine person, and she was nothing but a stuck up little- 
“My night was wonderful! I went shopping for our date this weekend. I can’t wait for you to see the outfits I picked out!” You sank down onto the bench. Shit… You hadn’t told her… What would happen now? 
“Sh-Shopping?” He questioned, and you wanted to crawl under a rock. You wanted to hide from her and the wrath that you knew was bound to be coming your way. “I thought you were studying? You said… You said you were at the library…” 
She went silent, and even though you were outside, you could feel the tension in the air. “Did… Did I say shopping?! Oh my gosh, I meant studying! I’m a big nerd! You know me!” She laughed again, but this time there was something else… Nervousness? Irritation? Anger? She’d be looking for you. 
“You’re acting weird… Are you okay?” He asked, and she scoffed loudly. Should you spare a glance and risk meeting eyes with her? “Were you just… Lying about studying? Was it to try to… Impress me? You know you don’t have to do that.” 
“I know I don’t. I’m impressive enough!” She said loudly, it’s like she enjoyed making scenes. She was disgusting. “I have to go really quick, I forgot my big ol’ textbook back at my room. I’ll meet up with you later? We can have lunch!” 
“Y-Yeah… Sure…” Something had changed… He wasn’t buying it anymore. But you didn’t have time to worry about that. Jooyi was looking for you, and you were tired of being scared of her. You were tired of worrying about what she’d do or what she’d say about you. Jisung liked you, even if just as a friend… You had been made clear of that last night at the library. She couldn’t even make it one day… The two of you were just too different, and he had noticed. You weren’t sure what would happen next, but you weren’t going to hide away, you weren’t going to give in. You deserved to be happy… You might not have the money, you don’t have the luxuries, but you have the willpower, and you have the drive… And that was worth way more than what her money could ever buy. 
“I need to talk to you… Now.” As if like magic, she appeared in front of you. She was angry, no doubt, but there was nothing she could do to hurt you. So you got up, following her off to the side of one of the buildings, and before you could say anything the palm of her hand connected with your cheek. “You bitch! You said that you’d tell me when he messaged you! Was this your plan?! To humiliate me in front of him!” 
Now it was your turn to scoff, your turn to laugh, and while the sting in your cheek hurt, it didn’t hurt as much as knowing that you almost let him get away, you almost let him get stuck with someone like her. “I didn’t have to plan it for it to work out like this. You humiliated yourself. He isn’t your type… Deal with it.” 
“You…” She started, but it quickly turned to a scream, one filled with pure rage as she started grabbing at the pockets of your jacket. “Give me your phone! He doesn’t want you! He wants me! You’re nothing! You’re poor and you’re pathetic and you’ll never have him! Why would anyone want you!” She just… screamed… She screamed so loud, and with every attempt to grab at you, you swatted her hands away, backing up further and further until you bumped into something… or… someone. “Oh! Jisung!” She full stopped, adjusting her hair and putting on the fakest smile. 
“What are you doing?” He asked, looking between you and Jooyi. “What are you talking about?” His eyes focused on you a lot longer, as if studying you, and you felt the heat of his gaze, but it didn’t burn, it just made you feel warm, it made you feel safe. “Why do you want her phone?” 
Jooyi was stuttering over herself, unable to form a coherent sentence as her head shook violently. “She… Sh-She’s blackmailing me, Ji! She stole my username on Anonny… She’s pretending to be me so that she can get with you… So she can take you away from me!” She whined, and you couldn’t help but look disgustedly at her. She truly was the queen of scenes, stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum like a child would. How pathetic. 
“My… tutor… Is blackmailing… You?” He questioned, and her eyes widened before turning her daggers towards you. “What’s your name on Anonny? If she stole it from you… What is it?” You didn’t have to do anything, he was putting all of the pieces together for himself. You weren’t sure what would happen once the puzzle finally came together… And maybe it wouldn’t work out for you… But to see her get knocked down to size, it made it all worth it. 
“I-It… My Anonny name? You know it! You tell me what it is!” She said, and you knew why, she was trying to get him to say it… But he was smarter than that. He shook his head, letting out a disappointed chuckle, and then his attention was back on you. “Don’t! Don’t look at her! Look at me! You love me!” 
“Do I?” He whispered, but he never looked away from you, his head tilted and a small smile on his face. “What’s your Anonny username?” He asked, and you felt the heat rising inside of you. This was your chance, your moment, you didn’t know where it would lead you to, but it was time. 
“I’m… JustAnotherGirl… Just another girl that has a crush on you… That gets overlooked and forgotten. But I’m here… And I’ve been here for four months…” You murmured, and he let out a shaky gasp. Was he embarrassed? Was he ashamed that you were the girl he had been talking to for so long? “I’m sorry. I’m not popular, I’m not even close to rich. I don’t have much to give… But-” 
“But you’re perfect…” He stepped closer to you, causing you to stumble back as your breath hitched in your throat. “You’re smart, and you’re sweet… You’re kind and you’re genuine. You’re not materialistic, you’re just… You’re wonderful, you’re wonderfully you…” His hand reached up, his knuckles brushing lightly against your cheek. “You’re the girl that I fell in love with…” 
“WHAT!!?” Jooyi screeched from behind you, and before you knew it, you and Jisung were being pushed apart. “Are you serious right now?! Her?! She’s… She’s a roach! She’s vermin! I can’t believe you right now! Have you seen me?!” 
“Sadly.” Jisung retorted, and it took everything in you not to laugh, but everyone that had gathered around to see what was going on laughed enough for you. “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” 
“G-Girlfriend?!” Jooyi scoffed, running her hands through her hair. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Just… When you lose all your friends because you’re with a loser, don’t come crawling back to me! Have fun being not popular!” 
“I think it’s time for us to go, don’t you?” He asked, completely ignoring her now as he draped his arm over your shoulder. “You want lunch? Anything you want, it’s on me.” 
///
HanJi : I’ll be at the library soon. I’ve got hot cocoa!
Beautiful Wonderful Girlfriend : Don’t drive too fast, the snow is really coming down now… 
“I know it is…” His voice came from behind you, and then the cups of hot cocoa were placed in front of you on the table. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” You glanced out the window, awestruck at just how beautiful campus could look when blanketed in dazzling white snow. “You brought your coat, right?” 
You nodded your head, patting the chair beside you where the coat that he had given you almost 2 years ago was neatly hanging over the back of the seat. “It’s your coat… You just won’t let me give it back.” You teased, and he let out a soft sigh as he dropped down into his seat. He hadn’t changed a bit since the first time you both sat at this table together. 
It was strange how time worked, it felt like forever ago, but you remembered it like it had happened just yesterday. “It’s our coat, babe. What’s mine is yours.” He sounded so serious, but you couldn’t help but laugh at the statement. He was talking like the two of you were… Married? Your laughter subsided as you stared at him across the table, your lips parted slightly as you let out a quiet breath. 
“You’re funny…” You said sheepishly, turning your attention back out the window, focusing on the snowflakes that danced down from the sky, finding the perfect place to rest. “We’re not married, our things don’t have to be shared…” Even though you both had been together for two years and he was the sweetest, most loving boyfriend you had ever had… You still couldn’t get those words out of your head. The words from the past that had been uttered by the girl that had wanted to take your place… He would never want to be with someone like you…
“Yet…” He murmured, the word like a breath leaving his lips. You blinked a few times, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks, your heart thumping loudly in your chest. Did he really love you that much? Could someone really love you that much? Were you deserving of this much love, to be with someone like him? “What are you thinking about, babe?” He cooed, reaching across the table to grab your hands that were folded on top, his thumb brushing lightly across your knuckles. 
“I’m just…” You began, feeling the familiar sting of fresh tears beginning to brim in your eyes, but it was slightly different this time… They weren’t tears of sadness or fear… You were happy. “I’m so lucky… And… I never thought I’d be with someone so amazing… So perfect…” You could barely get your voice above a whisper, your throat closing up from trying to hold back your tears. 
“Mm…” He hummed, pushing away from the table and getting up, walking around to your side of the table and grabbing your hand. “Let’s take a walk… yeah?” One more glance out the window and you saw the snow creating almost a wall of white as it came down harder, but there was no wind, it was just… beautiful. “I’ll keep you warm, don’t worry.” 
You nodded your head, grabbing the coat and slipping it on, the scent of his cologne, although faded, still brought you comfort when you put it on. “Where are we going?” You quizzed, slipping your fingers between his as you both walked out of the library. You were sure that nothing would be open, not with this weather. 
“Anywhere… I just… I want to walk with you.” He said, his voice kind of shaky, like his nerves had gotten the better of him. He led you aimlessly through campus, and you followed right along beside him. You didn’t really care where you were going, as long as you were with him, you’d follow the path he was taking blindly with your hand in his. “I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ll do it…” 
Was he talking to you or was he just thinking out loud? You looked to him, the snowflakes catching on your eyelashes as you tried to read him, but he was looking straight forward, his lips turned up into a lopsided smile. “How you’ll do what?” Even though you were speaking softly, the silence that surrounded you made every word sound so loud. 
“Propose.” He sounded so calm, but the singular word alone had you pausing, pulling him back so he would face you. “What? Can I not think about how I’m going to propose to my wonderful, beautiful, amazing, sweet, lovely-“ 
“Okay okay!” Even after 2 years, you still weren’t the best at taking compliments, especially when he was looking at you so intently. “Why are you thinking about that right now? We’re still in college and… I want you to focus on graduating. So we can both be successful. You know?” 
His hand slipped out of yours and then his arm snaked around your waist as he started walking again, pulling you along with him. “I can focus on graduating, and I can focus on you. I’ve been doing it since the day I truly met you… the real you.” He chuckled quietly, the sound building in his chest as his head shook. It was funny now, to look back on everything that happened. “And I like thinking about the future, it makes me happy to know that I’ll be spending it with you. But you don’t have to worry about me proposing in college… I wouldn’t want everyone to see. I want it to be a moment for us to remember.” You hummed softly, leaning against his shoulder as you simply listened to him, you let him get lost in his thoughts because you didn’t mind getting lost in them either. They had you looking forward to a better, simpler time where the two of you would be able to be together without worrying about grades and finals. “Flower petals will line the path that I’ll take you down…” He murmured, and your eyes were focused on his face, not noticing the trail of pink and red in the snow. “A gazebo, with fairy lights twinkling brightly, shining in your eyes…” He continued, sighing softly. “Nobody is around, the snow is falling, you look absolutely stunning against the backdrop…” 
“A winter proposal?” You asked, and you were so lost in his thoughts and your own that you hadn’t even noticed how far you had walked until he was leading you up the stairs of a white wooden gazebo, perfect icicles hanging off the roof of it, and… fairy lights illuminated the inside. “Ji…” You whispered his name, a tuft of smoke coming from your mouth as you breathed it out. His arm left your waist and he kneeled down in front of you, his cheeks a dark pink from both the cold and his nerves. “You said… You said you wouldn’t propose when we were still in college…” 
He snickered, fishing a black velvet box out of his pocket, his snow dampened hair curtaining his eyes as he kept his head down. “I meant… not while we were in the college. We’re not on the grounds anymore…” He finally looked up at you, and you let out a shaky gasp as it truly set in what he was doing. “I don’t want to wait any longer, I know that you’re the one that I want to spend all of my life with. I’ve never felt more comfortable with anyone else. I love you, I’ve known that I loved you since before I even… before I even knew you. I wake up every morning and thank everything that you’re mine, and I fall asleep every night knowing that no matter what, everything will be okay because I have you by my side. I don’t care what anyone thinks, I don’t care what people might say… I only care that you’re happy… And if you say yes, I promise… To do my best to make you feel happy and loved every single day until the day that I die.” He opened the box, and the diamond facets of the silver ring glistened and reflected the lights that had been strung up. “So… Will you… Will you marry me?” 
You choked out a sob, dropping to your knees in front of him as you nodded your head yes, and he quickly pulled the ring out of the box, his hand shaking as he slid it onto your finger. “Ji…” Was all you could say as you looked at the ring, cold, yet so beautiful in its place. His chilled hands cupped your cheeks, tilting your head so that your eyes would meet his. “I love you…” 
“And I’ll always love you.” He leaned in, kissing you softly and humming against your lips. “Shall we go back inside and warm up, my beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing-“ 
“Stop~” You playfully whined, giggling quietly as you dropped your gaze once more. “You’re so cheesy…” You mumbled, and then you felt his lips against your forehead, his fingers brushing your hair out of your face. 
“And you’re… You’re everything to me…” He pushed himself up to his feet, carefully pulling you up and then hugging you tightly. “Thank you, for making me happy, for loving me… I can’t wait to marry you."
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cupcaketeddybehr · 24 days
Text
when your credit card declines pt. 2
featuring: gojo, geto, and sukuna!!! sorry the storylines are all so drastically different LOL i made gojo's a meet cute 😅 also i've never written for sukuna before so i really hope you guys like it!
here's part 2 as promised! thank you so much to the lovely lovely @luvxoxo for the request!! ILYSM!!
for anyone who has a request/just wants to chat, my ask box is open!! (please please please please send me requests)
tags! <3 : @itawifeyy
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Gojo
you sigh as you peer through the pastry display case at your favorite cafe. you came as soon as you got off work, but it doesn’t seem like you came early enough. with fifteen people in front of you, you’re sure that the three boxes of kikufuku, your favorite sweet treat, are going to disappear by the time it’s your turn. after dealing with annoying, entitled clients for the entire day, this brings your mood to a new all time low. unsure of what you’re going to end up ordering, you stay in the line, hoping that some kikufuku will be magically left by the tine you get to the front.
the man behind you doesn’t make waiting in the line any easier. either talking to himself or talking to someone who barely responds to him, he’s talking at a volume that’s making your ears ring. you have no choice but to listen as he excitedly gushes about the progress of his students at whatever school he teaches at. you assume that it’s the nearby jujutsu school you used to attend as a child. you feel the gusts of wind his exaggerated hand movements create on your neck. eventually, one of them end up accidentally smacking the side of your head. you turn around to yell at whoever's behind you when you make eye contact with the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. you take in his expressive blue eyes and perfectly styled white hair. you’re wondering how he looks this good after a long day of work.
you two stare at each other a bit until the black-haired man next to him, who you assume is his friend (weird because you haven’t heard him talk the whole time), smacks him and hisses, “satoru, apologize”
satoru blinks and says, “oops, sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you,” still not breaking eye contact.
all anger suddenly leaving your body, you shake your head, “it’s okay” you stare at him a little longer, both of you waiting for the other person to say something. when neither of you do, you turn back around, a bit disappointed. maybe you were being delusional.
you drag your feet as the line in front of you gets shorter. you hear people shoving each other behind you, and you hold back a giggle.
“shut up, suguru”
you hear the two shove each other back and forth, careful not to hit you or anyone else with their antics.
when you get to the front of the line, you look into the display case again to look at the leftover kikufuku. to your disappointment (but not your surprise), there are none. turning to the cashier, you ask, “do you have any more of that?” as you point to the empty platter labeled “kikufuku”
she shakes her head, “sorry, all we have left are kikufuku pre-orders”
you frown, continuing to look at the display case, hoping to find something worth buying.
“you can have some of mine” satoru says from behind you. he looks at the cashier and asks her to bring his pre-order out from the back.
“no, it’s really okay i-“ you stop mid-sentence as you see the cashier come out of the kitchen with more kikufuku boxes than you can count. you can’t even see the top of her head. you look at suguru, who has his hand over his eyes, embarrassed. “i take it back.”
satoru laughs, “you can have a box!”
“ONE BOX? YOU HAVE SEVENTY”
“BECAUSE I PREORDERED”
you huff, ‘i guess… thank you, satoru”
he beams at the sound of his name, nods, and goes to look at the other pastries, asking suguru if he wants anything. currently, his eyes are only on the sweets in the bakery.
you take a glance at him as the cashier asks you to swipe your card for the box of kikufuku. you fish for your card in your wallet and then tap it on the machine.
“sorry, could you swipe that again?” the cashier asks. you panic and wonder how much money you have left in your account.
satoru suddenly looks away from the pastries and looks at you, “why are you paying?”
you’re confused, “i’m buying the box? if you don’t want me to anymore its fi-“
he steps beside you, asks the cashier to add a few more other sweet treats, and tells her to add your tab to his. “do you want anything else?”
“why are you being so nice to me?”
“maybe i want to take you out on a date” he says. “also- i never got your name”
“yes! uh- i mean, i’d love to” you grin, “and my name’s y/n”
he smiles and dumps the seventy boxes of kikufuku and bag of pastries on his friend. “suguru, hold this.”
grumbling, suguru takes the boxes and bag as satoru pulls out his phone.
“can i have your number?”
you nod, taking his phone and typing in your number and name with a little heart next to it.
“wanna come with me to this kikufuku shop tomorrow? i haven’t tried it yet” he asks.
“didn’t you just buy seventy boxes?”
suguru peeks out from behind the boxes, “he’ll be done with these by tomorrow.”
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Geto
you walk through kyoto’s don quijote superstore with your boyfriend, suguru, on the phone. wandering the aisles searching for cheap peripera and romand lip oils and glosses, you can’t help but notice how shiny suguru’s hair looks through the screen. you swear that it’s reflecting light, sheen glistening as he moves around the house.
“sugu?” you begin, “did you change your haircare routine?”
he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “noooooooo”
you gasp, betrayed. “you changed it and you didn’t tell me? is that why your hair looks so much better than mine right now?”
he doesn’t even try to argue that your hair is on equal footing, “maybe” he says, as he looks anywhere but you.
you glare at him through your phone, “we literally share the same hair care products. what have you been using?”
“i have a secret stash that i take out when you’re not looking” he sheepishly admits. “satoru told me that your hair looked better than mine the other day.”
you sigh, knowing how suguru is when it comes to his hair. “really, sugu? you’re letting your hair come between us?” you pout, jokingly. his entire ego relies on the appearance of his long black locks.
he laughs, “sorry, angel, my hair and i have a special relationship”
you roll your eyes, knowing that he would buzz his hair off if it meant saving you from a life or death situation. but that was the condition. you had to be on your deathbed. “can you at least tell me what products you’re using?” you beg.
“i use ten different products.”
“WHAT. you must be joking.”
he walks up the stairs and pans his phone camera to the stash of haircare products he’s apparently been keeping under the bed. your eyes widen as you spot every single one of the ten products. among them are hairbrushes, hair oils, dry shampoos, combs, and hair ties (the fancy spiral ones that don’t leave dents).
“why do i feel like this is the equivalent of you cheating on me”
he laughs, “baby, you’re being dramatic.”
“suguru. remind me which one of us keeps a secret stash of hair care products under the bed because he’s too scared to be tied for best hair?”
he clicks his tongue, “fine… i’ll help you find the products. but not all ten”
“why can’t i just use yours?”
“they’re mine.” he says possessively. “but i promise to help you find some.”
you grumble as he gives you step by step directions to the shampoo and conditioner aisle. apparently, he knows the way to the hair care aisle by heart.
when you flip the camera over, he points to the viral &honey shampoo and conditioner. “get that, angel. it’s a really good brand”
you two spend about thirty minutes picking out hair oils and hair masks before you’ve just about had it. “suguuuuu this is too much work” you whine.
he laughs and starts walking towards your garage. “i’ll be there in ten, okay?”
he arrives exactly ten minutes later and you take on a mindless, drone-like state, letting your boyfriend do all the work for you. you watch him as he squints at the labels of all the hair care products, making sure that they either contain or don’t contain a bunch of ingredients you can’t pronounce.
when it’s time to check out, you’re walking hand in hand to the cashier when he starts massaging his temples, “shit, i forgot the new tsubaki hair mask i wanted. i’ll be right back, okay angel?”
“okay sugu! get me one too!”
after looking at the ten person line, you decide that you might as well queue to save time. apparently, people move faster than you thought, because you’re at the front of the line with everything on the conveyor belt. you feel like your parent just left you at the cashier.
panicking, you glance behind you at the long line of people. no way you’re getting back in that. you decide to just tell suguru to come back another day for the hair masks. you double check the total and swipe your pink credit card on the machine.
“i’m sorry, could you try that again?” the cashier asks. you look at the screen and pray that the bold “DECLINED” message is just an error. when you go to swipe again, your card is snatched out of your hand before it’s even halfway to the machine.
“sorry i took so long, angel. i had to fight people for the last two hair masks.” suguru explains. “also- didn’t i tell you to call me whenever you’re buying something? you shouldn’t have to spend your money on anything.”
you breathe a sigh of relief, “usually, i would offer to pay… but i think i’m broke”
suguru stifles his laugh, “remind me to transfer money to your account when we get home, baby.”
you giggle and kiss him, “you’re the best!”
a week later, your hair starts looking a little shinier than his and the cycle begins again.
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Sukuna
after admiring sukuna’s tattoos for months, you’ve finally psyched yourself up enough to get one.
you hold his bicep still as you color around his black markings with sharpie while he’s quietly eating his extremely rare-cooked (was it even cooked? you have no idea) steak. “kuna? what tattoo do you think i should get?” you ask as you hand him your phone.
he scrolls through your “tattoo” pinterest board with a look of distate. “these wouldn’t suit you, brat”
you frown as you glance at the pins he’s looking at. you had been hoping to get a cute little studio ghibli linework tattoo on your arm. “why not? I think they’re really cute.”
“something else would look better. those look weak and pathetic.”
you start to get annoyed when he takes a sharpie from your pile and takes hold of your arm. “kuna… what are you doing?”
“drawing your tattoo, obviously” he grumbles. he seems to be annoyed at the fact that you consulted pinterest before him.
the pen strokes on your arm lull you to sleep as sukuna draws all over your forearm, elbow, and bicep.
thirty minutes later, he flicks your forehead to wake you up. “i’m done, brat”
you yawn groggily as you take in the masterpiece on your arm. it’s an entire sleeve of beautifully drawn flowers.
“kuna… this is beautiful.”
“i know” he says, “it suits you.”
you grin at him, “awww thank you, kuna”
he nods, “you can look up the meanings of the flowers later.”
MEANINGS? your boyfriend knows the meanings of flowers? you know that he gardens, but you didn’t know that he loved flowers this much. “i love you so much! you’re so cute!” you squeal while you throw your arms around his neck.
“ditto… and don’t call me cute.”
you tug on his hand and pull him to the car, “let’s go!”
before you know it, you’ve been laying down on the tattoo bench for almost two hours. the piece is huge, and you’re sure that you’re going to be here until they close. sukuna sits beside you, brushing his long nails through your hair and squeezing your free hand with his other hand every time you wince.
at some point, tears are falling down your face. sukuna yells at the tattoo artist to get out while he wipes the tears from your face and kisses your forehead repeatedly. “you can do it, just a little bit more. it’s going to look so pretty on you”
you nod, squeezing his pointer and middle fingers with your hand.
when the tattoo artist walks back in, sukuna shoots him a glare before returning to his original position. an hour later, he’s stroked your hair so much that you’ve fallen asleep.
when the tattoo artist pokes your shoulder to wake you up, you take a moment to admire the beautiful spread of flowers on your arm. as you turn to tell your boyfriend, you realize that he’s fast asleep on the chair. now that you’re looking at him, you have no idea how he fit into that chair to begin with.
you quietly make your way to the counter to pay, trying not to wake sukuna. when you pull your credit card out of your wallet, it somehow suddenly goes flying right into sukuna’s hand.
he walks towards you , running a hand through his hair. “WOMAN. how many times have i told you that you’re not allowed to pay for anything in this relationship?” he snips, inserting his platinum american express card into the slot.
“oops”
“whatever, just don’t pull something like that again. i ordered you a credit card linked to my account. it’s coming tomorrow.” he says.
your eyes widen, “WHA-“
he clamps his hand over your mouth, “shhhhh… just accept it”
you nod slowly, “okay… thank you kunaaa”
“mhm” he says as he spins you to the side to get a good look at your new piece. “do you like it?”
“of course i do, you drew it” you say, staring adoringly into his eyes. “wanna tell me what flowers you drew?”
he points to each one as he names them, “alstroemeria, calla lily, baby’s breath, camellia, daisy, marigold, and rose”
“wanna tell me what they mean?”
“no. google it.”
later, when you go to google the flowers, tears well in your eyes at your boyfriend’s thoughtfulness.
[alstroemeria (devotion and friendship), calla lily (magnificent beauty), baby’s breath (everlasting love), camellia (perfected loveliness), daisy (cheerfulness), marigold (power and strength), rose (loyalty and love)]
you come up behind him and jump on his back, kissing his cheek, “you’re the best”
the corner of his mouth lifts, “so when are we getting matching tattoos?”
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thank you so much to @saradika-graphics for the beautiful dividers and support banners 🫶
and thank YOU so much for reading! i appreciate you!
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casual pt. 1
okay yall i've never written fan fiction before, but i saw one too many pazzi edits to casual and i couldn't help myself but write something. not proofread lol
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“I’ll be ready in a second, I swear,” Azzi calls over to Colleen, who has been sitting on Azzi’s bed as Azzi gets ready. They were supposed to be at Ted’s an hour ago, where the rest of the team is celebrating first night. 
Colleen watches as Azzi paws through all of the drawers in her dresser. Unsatisfied, Azzi begins to dig through the pile of laundry that was building on her floor. “What are you even looking for?” Colleen asks. “My good bra,” Azzi replies, “I can’t find it anywhere. Unless I left it at…” Azzi trails off. “Don’t even finish that sentence,” Colleen advises. “You aren’t still seeing her are you? She’s making you look like a loser, while she goes and does whatever the hell she wants, while you just wait for her to be “ready,”” Colleen wraps air quotes around her last word. 
Azzi knew Colleen was right. Azzi turns around and slips her shirt off, before putting on a different bra, and a purple tank top. She turns back around towards Colleen, “let’s just go,” Azzi says. “Come on Az, I feel like you aren’t really hearing me…” Colleen says as she follows Azzi out of the dorm. “I just don’t want you to waste your time on her. You’ve been here for like three months and she’s just made you miserable this whole time,” Colleen finishes. “I know Colleen, but can we please just not talk about this tonight? I actually want to try to have a good time tonight,” Azzi replies. “Fine,” Colleen responds, knowing that Azzi’s will most likely end in a bathroom, crying over Paige.
Ted’s is packed tonight. Both the men’s and women’s teams had gone out to celebrate, as well as what seems like every other student at UConn. Azzi looked through the crowds before finding the women’s team surrounding the counter and taking shots. “Finally you’re here!” Nika calls out to the girls as they make their way over. Nika hands Azzi a shot, “You gotta catch up,” she reasons. Azzi downs the shot. Nika hands her a chaser which Azzi happily accepts. Nika hands Azzi a drink and pats her hand before going back to Dorka. Amari comes over and drunkenly envelopes Azzi in a hug. Amari tries to catch Azzi up on all that she missed while she was still back at the dorms getting ready. Azzi peers around the crowd as she notices that Paige isn’t with the rest of the team. As Azzi looks deeper into the crowd she finds Paige talking to a few guys from the men’s team. Azzi gently touches Amari’s arm “Wow, Amari, I feel like I was there,” she laughs before she leaves to go make her way through the crowd to Paige. 
“You and Fudd?” one of the guys asks as he playfully shakes Paige’s shoulder. “No, no its not like that,” Paige responds, “We’re not together. It’s just a casual thing right now.” 
Azzi steps back accidentally stepping on the person behind her. “Watch it,” the girl calls out. Azzi turns around and makes her way towards the door. As she reaches the doorway to the alley, she can’t hold it in anymore. She throws up all over the steps of the backdoor.
Azzi carefully walks down the steps, avoiding her own vomit. She makes it onto the ground, and slides her back against the wall. Normally Azzi would be cold in the November weather in just a tank top and jeans, but tonight she was burning. Casual?? She thinks to herself. We’re just casual??
The entire time that they have known each other, Paige and Azzi have been anything but casual. From flying to each other’s basketball games to going on vacation together to Paige moving in with Azzi during covid; they have never just been casual. 
When Paige had gone off to college, she and Azzi had agreed that they would wait to be exclusive until Azzi started school. Paige enjoyed playing into the hot shot basketball star persona that she had at UConn her freshman year, but she would still make time for her nightly facetimes with Azzi, even if she had to leave a different girl’s dorm to do so.
Azzi’s been at school for three months, and it seems like Paige has made no effort to become exclusive. Azzi didn’t want to pressure her into anything. She would just wait until Paige was ready. Azzi tried to be with other people, but at the end of the day they weren’t Paige and she could never do it. 
The door opens, breaking Azzi out of her train of thought. Azzi turns her head to look at the door, as she sees a blonde figure walking down the steps. “Az, Aaliyah said she thought you come out here. What are you doing?” Paige asks. “I just came out here to get some air,” Azzi responds. Paige reaches out her hand and pulls Azzi up from the ground, bringing her into a kiss. For a split second, Azzi kisses her back, before she breaks off the kiss. She rests her head on Paige’s shoulder. Azzi’s mad, and Azzi knows that she’s mad, but Azzi also knows that all she wants to do right now is be with Paige. She’s mad, and she’s conflicted, which makes her even more mad. “Let’s go back in Az, it’s cold as shit out here,” Paige says. 
Azzi follows Paige back in, but stops at the bar as Paige keeps walking. Azzi orders two drinks before retiring to a corner in the back of the bar. Casual??? Azzi thinks. She says we’re casual and yet she’s the only one who came looking for me??? And she kissed me??? What the fuck??? 
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jaylleoo14 · 11 months
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"Can I kiss you?"
Octavinelle x gn!reader
A/N: Simple. The sea trio has corrupted my mind and so here I am writing this at 1:03 AM and finishing this up two days later LOL. I actually took forever because I kept squealing and getting off track during the writing process. "I NEED TO DRAW THIS" I would say to myself haha. I wrote them without much consideration on how long each might be so one of them may be shorter compare to the others or it may be longer, but please do enjoy^^ (May or may not do the other dorms, unless...)
[Disclaimer] TOO MUCH FLUFF
[characters] Floyd, Azul, Jade
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Azul
3:24 PM - The Mostro Lounge sits under blue and silver burnished lighting as the sound of music fills the air. Accompanied by voices and the clinks of dishes, there you sat in the more private area of what adds to Octavinelle - Azuls office.
Something you both have learned to get accustomed to was to just do work alongside each other without the need of having to talk. It was just work. Nothing more. Of course some small talk here and there, asking opinions or maybe asking for help- though it was usually you who asked for it and less of Azul- but regardless it was back off to work. It's quite simple really, Azul is a busy and hard working person so he'd naturally have a lot to manage with. You had to keep up with your studies and try to manage how to handle your money and savings accordingly, along with planning events into your calendar for upcoming school occasions.
You and Azul have been dating for about half a year now, and although not all the time, most of the time you spend your free time here doing your work accompanying Azul as he does his. You both simply enjoy each other's presence, the silence between you two which is filled with the scritches and scratches of his fish-bone felt tip pen and your pencil against the many pages of papers were not at all awkward. It showed a sense of comfortability and familiarity, a tranquil silence in the room. Though of course, like almost any couple you begin to crave some attention from your dearly beloved.
3:27 PM - Placing your pencil down, it now rolling off to the side a little due to the momentum, you lean back onto the back cushions of Azuls couch placed in the middle of his office. Working for about 15 minutes now you decided you needed a break, stretching your arms back as you release your breath through your nostrils.
"Going to take a break Angelfish?" Without even having to look up, the sound of you leaning into his leather cushion and your stretched out groan already tells him enough information that you're ready to just try and relax and rejuvenate yourself.
"Mmmh yea, I think 15 minutes of work is good enough for now. I'll go back to it once I rest up," is all you say in response as you lean your body over to lay on the couch. He only lets out a hum to let you acknowledge that he was listening. Now that you weren't focused on your own work, you can hear him writing with a rich shink-like noise and papers constantly flipped and turned every 30 seconds.
I wonder what he's working on, you think to yourself as you stare up at the dark blue arched ceiling. You prop yourself up with your elbows, pushing yourself up as you move your legs off the couch. Springing off, you head on over to where Azul was working around behind the desk and peered over towards him. "Whatcha working on?" Voice soft and curious, an undertone of boredom.
"Just some useful material intended to aid students," he says in a gentle manner, his eyes still glued onto the papers. "Oh yea? How much longer till you finish up with those study guides?" You lean over a bit closer as you stand next to him, his handwriting as intricate and beautifully cursive as ever; yet still eligible for those who have a harder time understanding.
He lets out a little inquisitive hum as if trying to accurately calculate when he'd be finished by. "About in an hour or so," he says finally after seconds worth of time. "I'd say make that an hour-thirty to two from now" you say with a little soft laugh escaping your lips.
3:30 - Standing next to Azul as he preps material, you slowly come to look at Azul himself instead of what Azul was working on. Being able to see the sight of his silver crowned locks of hair that curls into beautiful waves. Only after making your comment does he stop his hand and turn to look up at you from where he sat.
After finally not being able to properly see Azul's face the entire time you were working, seeing his face was a sort of refreshment to your heart and the soft smile on your face shows that. "And what prompts you to assume such a thing my dear?" He can only be met with a giggly response, his serious and quizzical face only prompting you to let out more chains of giggles.
"Tell me what you are suddenly finding so funny? I certainly am positive that I haven't done anything humorous." You tilt your head a little to the side, your grin getting slowly bigger as you clasped your hands behind your back. Azul can already pick up that you're trying to whip something up.
"You know Azul, when was the last time you kissed me?"
And there he goes, short circuiting as the sudden change of mood drifts him like the ocean currents. "I-Is this what you're on about?" He certainly has picked up by what you meant with your earlier comment now that you've voiced your question. "Oh dear, do you perhaps feel neglected since i've been working so much Angelfish?"
"Don't try to act smug. Answer my question, when was the last time you kissed me?" You immediately shoot down his question as you direct it back to yours and it sends his cheeks a pigmented red while he tries to keep his cool. He understands that you wont stop asking him this question and so he answers away.
"I recall it to be a few weeks back."
"And where did you kiss me?"
"I-I don't see how that- hah, on the cheek. Seriously (y/n) what is the relevancy in asking such- "
"Ah! Hold it! So you're telling me you've been giving me kisses and I've been giving you kisses but we've never actually kissed at the same time?"
3:33 - Here you are facing Azul as you look at his tinted red face, picking up where your suggestion leads. What awaits is permission to boldly take your relationship to the next level.
"Can I kiss you Azul? And not on the hands or on the cheek like we usually do." You give him a soft pleading look, your cheeks also decorated in a lovely shade of red as you wait for his response patiently. Clearing his throat and having the need to suddenly fix his not crooked glasses, he gives you a very shy yet still doing his best to be serious look. Before answering, he quickly resolves himself and a more confident smirk is plastered on his face. As he pushes himself up from his chair he closes in the distance and comes in close towards you, wrapping an arm around your back.
"Ask and you shall receive, a small kiss is worth the price of my time for you my Angelfish," he says it ever so calmly and confidently. Though the redness of his cheeks give away that he was otherwise and it makes your heart squeeze and beat crazy because of how cute he was being right now.
"You're being so cute right now you know that? You don't have to force yourself, you know." Your voice is gentle and smooth as if it were raw honey. Bringing a hand to tuck the longer piece of hair that made up his hairstyle, you give him the most adored stricken smile ever and he can only feel his heart beating out of his chest.
"No no, it's about time we started to get more intimate considering how long we've been together now. Thank you for going at my preferred pace, I'd like to give you an honorarium payment." You let out an amused chuckle and let him prepare himself, closing your eyes as you wait for him to go in at his own pace. Though you least expect it when he suddenly goes in very quickly. His lips are stiffly pressed against yours for a couple of seconds and it has you opening your eyes in surprise. You're met with a red faced Azul -which can be compared to a steamed and cooked octopus- looking flustered and a little awkward as he seemed to have a little dissatisfactory expression on his face. "That... Did not go as well as I had hoped it to be."
A jovial and convivial laughter fills up the room in your sound and it only makes Azul shrivel in embarrassment. You can practically see the steam coming from his head as well. "Well that was a little anticlimactic don't you think?" Wrapping your arms around his neck he can only let out an embarrassed groan at your little comment. "What do you expect from someone who's inexperienced with committing such an act? I'm positive however that with enough practice I can redeem myself and satisfy you." He tries to sound all the more reasoning, which only prompts you to laugh even more.
"You want to kiss more?" Saying through slips of giggles. You feel his hold on your back tighten a bit more, still applying gentle and reaffirming pressure as he presses you both together. "How else do you suggest I be better then?" You turn and motion your body over to the desk, leaning your lower back against it as Azul follows along. "Hmm, I'm absolutely positive that it'll take you two hours to finish those study guides now." You pull a little amused laugh out of him as he slowly goes in once again, tilting his head to the side and his eyes looking to align with yours. "Mmm perhaps. I guess we'll have to see just how long it'll take for me to get better then." And in he goes, the kiss feeling much more natural and a mark of showing a deeper significance in your ongoing relationship.
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Jade
The nights on campus here were unusually less disturbed and a lot colder now, which makes sense considering that it is now winter break. The students here at Night Raven College had all gone home to reunite with their families after departing to pursue and complete their highschool education. However a certain group of individuals tend to stay during this time period, and that being the dorm leader of Octavinelle, the vice dorm leader, and the vice dorm leader's twin brother.
Like a lot of teenagers, its normal to come across at least 10 students at night since many are nocturnal people and they share the hobby of walking around. Especially when the sky is dark. You are one of those people. Someone who indulges themselves into the canvas of black paint littered with shining splatter of stars. Regardless of what the weather is like, you willingly go out of your way to enjoy the peacefulness of the night, watching it as it goes through the different seasons. Walking around in the winter's night air you can see your breath whenever you huff out, a shiver going through your shoulders. A little reminder that its the cold season now.
The chilly weather seems to be getting to you so you turn back from where you presently are and walk back to your good ol' home, Ramshackle dorm. As you make your way back from the main road you can make out a tall dark figure up ahead, prompting you to slow down and start to get wary. Upon getting closer and squinting your eyes a little, you can see teal hair shining a bit under the orange light which was radiating off a nearby light pole. Oh, it's Jade! You remember Jade mentioning that he liked to also go out late at night, though this is your first time ever encountering him on your usual walks. Perhaps he too is taking advantage of the quieter nights.
You and Jade have been a little on and off. You cant quite describe it, its complicated really. Sometimes you feel like you cant understand Jade because he's always making things open-ended, leaving them up to your interpretations. You like him, that much is obvious. But there are plenty of times where he's shown interest in you, and other times where it may not feel as so and it throws you off. Its frustrating not knowing how he feels about you, as if its some sort of game you two play. Regardless of his little plays though, you continue to enjoy yourself in the game.
A slight breeze hits your figure and it causes you to shiver, rubbing your arms to enforce friction in hopes of warming you up. You figured it may be best to leave Jade alone so he can enjoy himself in peace doing whatever he was doing. And off you go, turning on your heel and continuing your venture.
The sky is so pretty, you think to yourself. It has you arching your neck up and leaning your head back as you stare at the night sky, continuing your walk. You cant help but look at how pretty the stars are knitted together in a beautiful cluster, zoning out a bit as you continue forward.
Suddenly a hand is placed on your shoulder and it causes you to jolt up like a scared cat, making you break out of your trance. A yell is ushered out of you as you quickly turn around to see who this person could be, and you're only met facing Jade.
"Oh dear, I do apologize for my sudden notice. But your voice sounds lovely even when out of fear fufu"
Your heart is still pounding and your eyes are opened widely, staring at him with disbelief and shock. "J-Jade! What are you doing?! God you freaking scared me oh my gosh." Your little scared moment certainly has him entertained as he lets out another chuckle.
"You seem to be so infatuated with the sky that you failed to notice your surroundings. I was only doing my part in trying to help you realize that."
"What do you me-?" As you turn around your quickly met with a lamp pole right in front of your face and it causes you to flinch back a bit. "Oh." Turning around to face him again you feel yourself feeling a bit embarrassed that he caught you about to do something embarrassing. "Thanks Jade... What are you doing out so late?"
"I could ask you the same thing. I was just taking advantage of the quiet night and looking at the nature of the trees." He looks over you, a genuine smile on his face plastered as what you can assume to be looking at the area around us. "However I stayed aware of my surroundings despite having my own infatuations." His little snarky yet calm remark causes you to let out a groan, a pout slightly forming on your lips.
"I was also taking advantage of tonight as well thank you very much." Straightening your back, you cross your arms and give him a slight frown as if trying to regain back your little pride. Then quite suddenly a gust of wind howls a bit in your direction, causing you to shiver and quiver a bit. "Tonight is quite cold I must say." His slight remark makes you shiver even more as you are reminded of the cold.
"Yea, no kidding. I didn't prepare well enough so I'm going to head back." Your face is cold to the touch and your nose and cheeks can be seen slightly red under the pale moonlight. "Oh I see, perhaps I can accompany you then." He offers yet you turn him down in a polite manner. Your reasons? It's obvious you like Jade. You really like him, though because of all these mixed signals you can't help but feel like you need to stop. It already frustrates you enough and so you need to let these feelings die down even though sometimes you really do get a kick from the things he does.
"You seem to be quite cold indeed (y/n), if I can't accompany you back then please allow me to warm you up for your trip."
His words seem to catch you off guard and you look up at him quizzically. He doesn't seem to be wearing any sort of jacket, how can he offer you warmth? He chuckles a bit, amused to see your confused scrunched face. Gently bringing a hand to your cheeks your eyes can't seem to help but widen in shock a little from the sudden gentle advancement, your brain going blank.
"Can I kiss you, Prefect?" He says it ever so softly, his voice wrapping you up like a soft blanket. Did Jade really just ask to kiss you? What's going on, is this even real right now? Are you dreaming? Is this another one of his games? You feel your face starting to heat up and your heart is starting to race.
"W-Wait, what? Did I hear that right?" You say in disbelief, but he knows you heard it correctly because of your red face. His hands cupping your face causes you to freeze in the moment and all you can hear is the loud drums of your heart. Leaning down a bit more you can see his eyes perfectly now, his heterochromia jewel like eyes shimmering. "I must admit i'm a little hurt to see you trying to avoid me recently Prefect. I apologize for beating around the bush for so long, I hope you can take this kiss as a form of acceptance for my feelings and my apology."
This eel.... THIS EEL! He knows what he's doing, he knows! You're left stammering a bit before you could answer, the feeling of your head spinning. "I...accept your apology." And with that he goes down in one smooth motion, his lips in contact with yours with a perfect fit. Once he leans back, your eyes are met and he lets out a content hum. "I'm glad to see you're quite warmed up now. And if I must add, happier too." A big goofy smile is placed on your face as if you just won the lottery, your face all red and heated. "You know, I actually wouldn't mind if you were to accompany me back now. Who knows what might be out here."
You seem to be in a giddy mood, no longer holding back. Finally, you can understand Jade's true feelings for you now. It makes you overjoyed, a feeling of happiness now that you understand. And with a smile on his face he agrees, playing along with your little game of words. The feeling of warmth and fluffy happiness fills you up, and the cold cant compare with that as you make your way back with Jade, his little darling Pearl.
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Floyd
"WHAT THE HELL FLOYD?!"
Crash!
Ah yes, just another regular day. You, Floyd, your phone in his hand, breathless, a cheeky and amused grin on his face, and just constantly trying to snag your phone back in the spacious long hallway. Call this a regular day occurrence considering how many times he's come to bother and mess with you now.
"Floyd, give me back my pho- STOP SCROLLING THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL!" Running up and trying to snatch it away by jumping, only to fail because he's now outstretching his arms away and tip-toeing to refrain from you reclaiming back your item.
"Haaah? Your camera roll is so boring, just full of pictures of the sky. We see that everyday, you should take more pictures of other interesting things!" You really were running out of breath here and he seems to take great amusement with it since he's still here messing with you.
The sun shined brightly against the two of you, the open wall of the hall letting the air roam freely.
"Ahaha! What a funny picture of Crabby-chan! Oh, and you got one of little Mackerel too." Floyds not listening to your words, enjoying himself as he indulges in your camera roll. You let out a tired and heavy sigh, heaving a bit as you try to catch your breath. "F-Floyd, why are you doing this? Argh, I swear you've been bothering me so much lately." He only give you a little "hm?" in response as his smile now fades, turning to something more neutral and casual as he continues to indulge himself in your selective memories.
"Ya have soooo many pictures of other people lil' shrimpy. Ah! You even have a picture of Jade and Azul! No fairrrr!" Letting out a whine, you can see his prominent pout as he pinches his fingers on your screen to zoom in on you which was in between Azul and Jade. His eyes stick to the screen as he stares at the picture of your sweet smile looking as if you just finished some heavy and tiring labor just before.
"That was when we went camping during Vargas's stupid camping trip. Of course you weren't there!" You huffed out as you wipe a sweat off your neck, placing your free arm on your hip while you just watch him on your phone. At this point you just gave up and let him do what he wanted on there, of course as long as he's in the camera roll and nowhere else.
"But i'm here now aren't I? And you were even there when I went camping, jus excuses." His slightly upset voice makes you feel a bit guilty yourself, but you try to find a way to dispute his words anyways.
"Not true! If you keep scrolling more you'll see yourself in one of the pictures I took with Ace!" A huff escapes your mouth as you try to stay strong on your claim and he only lets out a disappointed groan. "I'm in the background Shrimpy, and you cant even see my face properly. Ya dont wanna have people mixin' me with my brother now dontcha?" His eyes look over towards you now as he drapes his arm down, just very offended with the lack of pictures you have available of him.
"It's not like i'm gonna show anyone Floyd. No one's gonna know its you except for me." You try to reassure him but he still isn't satisfied at all with your response. The sun shines in as its rays changes its direction and hits Floyd in the eyes, causing his already sour mood to worsen and he lets out an annoyed huff. The shadow of the pillars drapes over you like a veil and the sun hits him like a beam, so he then places his hand over his forehead to block the sun out while walking closer to you in venture for refuge. The light reflects into the phone causing a gleam hitting your own eyes and so you step back, squinting your eyes away. For a moment you actually forgot he had your phone if not for the reminder the gleam gave you.
"Floyd, could you please hand me back my phone now?" You say in a more gentle voice in consideration to his sour mood. His droopy eyes meet yours as a slight pout forms on his face which then looks over at your phone in his hand. Suddenly, his pouty face lifts up into a gleeful smile, his toothy lop-sided smirk giving you unease as if he's planning something not so great.
"Ya know, why not jus' take some pics right now? Say cheese~!" Suddenly, with his longer legs he quickly makes his way over next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling close.
"Wha-? Hey-!" Before you could even ready yourself though, he brings the phone above you two, angling the camera as he tilts his head against yours and maneuvers his thumb over the camera shutter button, pulling your bodies together.
Click! Click! Click!
"Hey stop taking so much! You're going to take up my storage!" Quickly swiping up your phone you press on the little square in the corner to open up the pictures. His arm continues to drape on your shoulder as he looks over at the pictures with a happy hum. Floyd looked as photogenic as ever when he wants to be, his silky skin reflecting in the pictures as his smile radiates and shine while his cheeks being a dusty pink. You on the other hand....Not so much. You were even blinking in one of them, most of the pictures of you looking off and funny.
"I wasn't ready Floyd." A stern look is scrunched on your face as you swipe and look at the pictures with a judgmental stare. A giggle can be heard right next to you as Floyd also looks over you in the pictures, a tinted pink running on his cheeks and a soft look in his eyes; his heart speeding up just slightly as he continues the close and intimate proximity.
"I think you look cute anyways." He says it ever so casually and in a gentle voice, causing you to look over at him. Upon turning your head to face him, its only then did you realize just how close he was. How intimate you two were being right now. His side profile looking perfect as ever, his olive colored eye locked on the screen staring only at you, his arm draped over your shoulders, your bodies practically meshing together right now as his pecks touch your back. You feel your cheeks starting to heat up, your heart begins to speed up as if you are starting a morning run the more you begin to get conscious. His eyes suddenly dart to look at you and you flinch back, jumping a little due to being startled; however his arm keeps you in place from moving any further.
"Seriously, you've been messing with me too much..." You grumbled out as you turn your face back to look at the now black screen. It shut off due to the lack of inactivity, and in the reflection you can see your furrowed brows and tightlipped frown. Though from the side Floyd can only give a bigger grin upon seeing your velvet cheeks.
"Cus' I like ya, aint it obvious?" The speed to which you flip your head can be compared to one of a bullet train and your jaw drops, mouth wide open and agape as you're left with no words. "HUH?!" Your whole face is now a full on red, your eyes filled with shock as if he just dropped the most jaw dropping information ever. Well, technically he did.
Tilting his head to the side a little, his face also grows a darker shade of red, though he lets out a giddy chain of giggles to your reaction. "Eh? You're quite bold Shrimpy, movin' kinda fast there huh?"
"W-What?" He can practically see question marks floating around your red beet face, his toothy smug face still apparent as he wraps another arm in front of you. He's basically giving you a side hug right now -a sweet and tender one.
"Hehe, nothin,'" smiling as if its something only he knows makes you a bit bothered and curious, but then he suddenly swings himself in front of you now. The sun hits the back of Floyd, making him radiate ever so brightly. "How bout' we start off a bit slower hmm? Whats it to ya Shrimpy, do ya like me back?" His soft and droopy slanted eyes adoringly stare into yours and you cant help but feel your heart turn into a big wet sopping pillow. Adverting your eyes down, you can only give a little nod. "Well i mean, I don't hate you. So yea, I.... I do in fact, Like you too."
Honestly, Floyds been nothing but smiles now and its as if he found the most pretty set of flowers ever on a grassy field. "Is that so? Ya really like me huh?"
My hearts beating so fast right now.
"Yea, I really like you."
"Shall I give you a kiss then Shrimpy?"
Tilting your head back up at him you can only give him a shy and flustered face. But with the silly state you're in right now, you let out a slip of a tongue response.
"C-Can I kiss you?" Totally unexpected to Floyd, his eyes widen for only a moment till he's flinging his head back with laughter and squeezing you into his chest.
"Hahaha! Will you kiss me?" Calming himself down a bit he looks back at you with you in his arms now, the suns rays slowly shifting over.
"Will I kiss you?" saying almost in a smug manner now, feeling yourself succumbing into his giggly state of self as you yourself now start to get giddy with your red cheeks.
"You will" He says it with a reciprocal teasing tone as he leans forward, the comfort in his lean arms making you feel as if you've been lovers forever.
"I will?"
"I will" And with that he softly goes in to press a kiss on your lips, the sun shining and hitting the both of you and its as if you two were getting the spotlight of a movie.
Click!
Huh? As you turn to slowly pull back from the kiss, slowly opening your closed eyes you see Floyds phone out. His arm is outstretched and propped in the middle of you two from the side to capture the kiss perfectly and you can only let out a gasp.
"A picture for me hehe~"
"FLOYD-"
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joelmillers-whore · 1 year
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Hard Light | Chapter 1
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summary: when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be, but that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right? 
pairings: professor!joel x college student!reader
word count: 2.2K
series or one-shot
warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, alternate universe, professor/student relationship, eventual smut, self-esteem issues, workaholic, joel x female!reader, infatuation bordering on obsession (stay delulu friends), some sexual thoughts, masturbation (f), joel being a huge tease lol, (will add more tags as i write)
AN: i am so excited by the response that my joel one-shot got a few days ago and i’ve been itching to get something else out to you all. big, giant forehead kisses for those who want one, i love you all. so, anyway, a mini-series about professor joel is coming at you fast. i’ve written the first few chapters, so expect those in the near future. i’m thinking once a week? this fic is going to be something else and i’m so excited to share it with ya’ll. enjoy, and let me know what you think. find my ao3 here for more content and other fandoms.
You were running late for your shift at the coffee shop on campus, rummaging around your dresser, trying to find the low-cut black top you always wore when you had a shift. You weren’t usually one to feed into the peer pressure of those around you, but push came to shove when you found it nearly impossible to keep yourself afloat as a twenty-something student without the added extra tips from your part-time job.
So what if you had to show a little bit of cleavage? Right? There was no harm. Student loans were a bitch and on top of rent and food costs, you had to get a job at the coffee shop and balance a full course load just to make ends meet. 
A thought popped into your head and you rushed to your laptop, throwing it open as you checked the time; 5:45 AM. If you busted out your lightning-fast typing skills, you would have enough time to catch the next bus and make it to campus with five minutes to spare. If only your crappy second-hand computer would work.
The thing honestly sounded like a chopper engine, getting ready for lift-off. You were surprised you’d gotten this far with it. Not that you weren’t appreciative, your older brother had passed it down and it had relieved a huge weight—  and expense off of your shoulders. 
You tabbed into your school portal, typing in your credentials and selecting your English course. You sighed heavily, as you skimmed over the assignment for this week, something to do with a sonnet that you couldn’t care less about. You loved school but ever since becoming an English major, the spark that you once had for literature sort of just evaporated.
You couldn’t tell if it was because of how busy you were with everything else that you just couldn’t find the time to enjoy it, or the thought that really scared you, you had fallen out of love with it. 
It had been two years of go, go, go and you were, for lack of a better word, burnt out. You’d tried dropping courses last semester, thinking that you just needed a little bit of ease when it came to your course load, but when that didn’t solve the problem and only made things worse for you, you spent the last two semesters trying to catch up and get yourself to a place where you could finally breathe.
But it wasn’t easy. You were only now caught up to where you had been, the illusion that you were someone who could afford to take time off and slow down was a distant memory. 
In bold letters, the words Paid Internship jumped off of the screen. You smiled as you leaned in closer to the screen, making sure you read through everything correctly. This was the break above the surface that you needed, the reprieve that you had been chasing. A paid internship was exactly how you’d be able to make more money and maybe have a little breathing room before you worked yourself into an early grave.
You clicked the mail icon at the top and clicked into a new email, deciding that the worst-case scenario was that you wouldn’t get the internship. All you were doing was inquiring about the application process. Best-case scenario; you’d get it and make some extra pocket money. 
You saw the time, cursing under your breath as you slammed the laptop closed, grabbed your phone out of the charger and ran out of the door. You couldn’t be late, not again. You texted your co-worker Jeremy to open the shop without you and explained to him that you were running a few minutes late, as you barely made it to the bus. You climbed on board, scanned your student pass and found a seat near the back. Your chest was burning from the rush of trying to make it on time, but you could breathe easy now.
You checked your messages mindlessly, scrolling through a bunch of unread ones that you didn’t have the heart to answer. 
Before you knew it, the familiar monuments and buildings of UT Austin came into view, and the subtle change of scenery from downtown to a more densely packed area made your heart skip a beat. It was the same each time you were back on campus. Which, these days, was often. Sliding out of the seat, you made your way to the front, thanking the driver as the bus came to a complete stop. 
The coffee shop was only a short walk from the bus stop but even still you quickened your pace. You didn't want to leave Jeremy alone for long, you already felt bad enough about letting him open by himself. You stifled a yawn as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, leaning your body into the door, slightly cringing at the shrill sound of the bell. 
"There you are", a male voice called, making your head snap up. You wiggled your nose, the familiar timbre of your ex-boyfriend's voice ringing in your ears. "It's about time you got your ass down here". 
You snickered, shrugging your heavy bag off of your shoulder, and dropping it behind the counter, turning around and greeting him with an unamused smirk.
Jeremy and you had gone out for a few months last year, it was your first and, as of right now, the only short-term relationship that you'd had in college. 
Dating your co-worker, even in a relatively small place like the coffee shop on campus, almost always spelled trouble, but Jeremy was not the type to hold something like a failed relationship over your head. He understood that school was a priority for you and making a living for yourself came first, even above something like a relationship. It might not be the healthiest way to live, but it was how it always was. 
Jeremy and you had developed a fast friendship, one that went beyond the romantic relationship that you'd had last year. You parted amicably and now, you had someone you could confide in, someone you could trust. 
"Why don't you say that to my face?", you teased, raising a brow at him over the milk frother you were setting up. 
Jeremy threw his rag down and stalked over to you. "You're snippy this morning", he chided. 
You banged into his shoulder playfully, "Doesn't help that I have to see your ugly mug first thing in the morning". 
You snorted out a laugh and Jeremy looked at you, feigning defensiveness, "Ouch", he paused, returning back to his post near the coffee machine, "Remind me how we ever went out?". 
You scrunched your nose and threw your rag at Jeremy, hitting him square in the face with it, "That was rude". 
He shrugged his shoulder, "You started it".  
You both devolved into a fit of giggles and fell into a comfortable silence, setting up and getting the coffee shop ready for the day. You had a half-day shift to look forward to and then you had class until the late afternoon. The days were long and the nights were longer.
You usually found yourself nose-deep in your textbooks, more often than not, or some classic novel that was required for class, not moving from the couch until your eyes were red and you were seeing double. 
Only then did you retire to sleep, crashing hard until you had to wake up and do it all again the next day. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
The coffee shop had been bustling with people since six in the morning, and at one in the afternoon, it hadn't let up, only now you had to go to class. Waving Jeremy goodbye, you sidestepped Tara, the fourth-year who was covering the rest of the afternoon and closing shift. 
You'd crossed the far side of campus, passing by the science building and one of the massive libraries that had acted like a second home to you back when you’d been studying for exams when you were a freshman. You could thank your obnoxious roommates for that one. 
Entering the lecture hall, bodies pressed into you as you weaved through the growing crowd, trying to find a spot in the middle where you could see and hear your English professor. But also blend in with the masses. As if the universe had other plans in mind, and everyone suddenly showed up to the Tuesday lecture all at the same time, you found yourself picking a seat near the front, an exasperated groan leaving you. 
You hated sitting at the front, not because you didn't want to get called on to answer something or because you didn't know the answers, but because you did. You wanted to get through your four years as quickly and unscathed as possible and if people knew, mainly professors, that you knew more about the subject matter than you needed to, you'd surely get called on more often, making you stick out in ways you didn't want. 
It was a terrible curse, going through life with the self-esteem that you did. But it was how you were raised. Blend in. Don't be too loud. Be quiet and only observe. Nerves rapped at your insides when you thought about getting called on when class started. Your heart rate ticked up and you found that your hands were beginning to get clammy, your throat constricting with each breath.
You rubbed your hands up and down your thighs, grounding yourself with the sensation of the material. 
With a jump, you sat up straighter in your seat, being jostled from your thoughts by a loud slam. You snapped your head toward the entrance, eying the person who had startled everyone. It was a man carrying a briefcase.
Your lips tilted up at the edges, amusement tickling you when you thought of anyone using a briefcase nowadays. But here this man was, head down as he made his way to the front of the room, toward the desk. 
You couldn't help keeping your eyes trained on him. On how his slacks tightened around his butt, moulding to the shape and curve of it. You bit your bottom lip out of reflex, your eyes dragging down the length of the mystery man who had crashed your lecture. Maybe he was a TA? Your brows furrowed when you thought about how your professor was nowhere in sight. 
The man with the briefcase placed his case on the desk, turning to face the audience of students who blinked back at him, who now settled down enough to hear him speak. Air caught in your throat when his eyes flicked momentarily to you, and lingered on you for half a second longer than you'd expected. He had massive, warm brown eyes, and soft wrinkles that danced at the edges of his eyes when he smiled, making him seem more boyish than he appeared.
He looked older than a TA would but then again, who were you to judge someone's position in life? You thought that his age did nothing to undermine just how attractive he was, if anything it added to it.  
The man, who may or may not have been moonlighting as your English TA cleared his throat, nodding his head, "My name is Joel, well, Professor Miller to most, but 've always been a little bit more informal than my peers". 
He began to circle the wooden desk nervously, his large hand finding the edge of it and stroking it far more sensually than necessary. You flexed your fingers, gripping the arm of your seat to stabilize yourself. "So, you can call me Joel from here on out... since we'll be seeing more of each other from now on". 
Murmurs began to break out around the lecture hall, and confused and hushed whispers followed. 
Professor Miller— Joel, mumbled something incoherent, and you were unable to hear it from where you sat. He cleared his throat again, "Professor McCarthy has taken a leave of absence, so I'll be filling in for him for the remainder of the semester". 
You crossed your legs, feeling heat rise and a furious blush break out across your face, and shuffled in your seat, a loud creak emitted from it and you stilled, praying that the loud sound had only been heard by you and no one else. But when you lifted your gaze, Joel's eyes were already locked on you, blown and brimming with cautious inquiry. A touch of a smirk graced his lips. 
"And I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you, personally". His eyes were still on you, not ready to release you from their hold. 
His tongue darted out to wet his lips and you couldn't help but stare. You had every reason to look away from him, he was your professor and given the clear age difference, he was someone who was off limits. But when he didn't look away from you either, trapping you with his gaze, your face heated up, suddenly aware that he was purposely staring at you. 
You swallowed thickly, heart hammering as Joel's eyes finally drifted away from you and back to the faces of your classmates. He continued on with addressing the class, and you noticed that he avoided your eyes for the rest of the lecture. 
Only one thought rang through your mind as you tried and failed to focus back on the lecture. This was going to be one long semester. 
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pomefioredove · 2 months
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I've mentioned vil and yuu being similar before but I haven't really gone into the depths of why this is so significant to me
vil is a really insecure person. in his looks, to a degree, but more poignantly, his personality. I'm almost tempted to compare him to malleus, but in a much different way; vil is adored, yes, but more so as an object than a person, and the person behind his looks is seen as intimidating and mean and cold. he's forced into the role of the villain, both metaphorically and literally, and he resents that. he's implied to have been isolated and othered by his peers when he was a child, which does some MONUMENTAL damage, too.
this is largely projection but, in a way, I see him as someone who is so terrified about being evil that he just... gives up. he does act unfairly cruel and mean sometimes, he does accept the role he was given by his peers (and the adults in his life, which, hoh my god, is a whole other thing). he is treated like a bad person, so he starts believing he's a bad person, and then starts acting on that belief, even though that's not really who he is.
vil is a character who harbors a lot of shame and resentment toward himself. he's always first to blame himself when something is wrong because he takes on so much responsibility being the intimidating, cold, confident leader everyone assumes he is. but, god, is he sad. he's so insecure and so often miserable and he has no outlet because he feel he can't, or doesn't deserve, to be vulnerable. and I think that he sort of hates that about himself, that he feels like that in the first place.
I think people tend to misunderstand his hatred towards neige. he's jealous. like, veritably so, and not just of his looks, but of him as a person. his innocence, his kindness. neige is always the victim and vil is always the villain. vil can't ask for help because that's the role he's been given. he resents neige because neige has a family full of people he can rely on, he's adored, he's allowed to be sad and scared and vil isn't. it's bitter and petty but understandable. I love him
yuu is insecure about their lack of magic. there are a lot of lines that imply they feel worthless and useless to their friends. they're quiet and insecure and unkempt and live in a rotting building but they are still pressured to just accept it.
yuu is expected to be grateful to crowley and nrc. they are expected to adapt. they are expected to be mature, and responsible, and motherly to grim, and caring towards the other students. they're put in this role of the caretaker, and they're forced to accept it, but they have no autonomy. they feel helpless in a lot of ways. they and vil are just... complete opposites but their cores are the same and that's so significant to me.
idk. there's more to be said but I kinda forgot what I was saying lol. I just think yuu and vil are more similar than people give them credit for. and I think vilyuu is so cute and good, especially for vil, because seeing the things you hate about yourself reflected in someone you love just makes them so much better. it's so healing. they're in lovr and im throwing them a summer wedding
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beomiracles · 3 months
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Glad to be one of the 500!!
I had a few ACTUAL dreams of taehyun but I remember only glimpses of them, so I'll write what I remember, and you can choose, tho I'm not sure they will be towards your interest, but I'll try. You can make them suggestive if you want cuz smut is a survival necessity. They are:
- I and taehyun had met at a dating (for choosing partners) vacation camp for college students and we went there with our bsfs where tyun had beom with him and we grew attached or something like that, but I don't really remember much other than a field with soccer, and a date.
- taehyun had come to me from the future to the time when we still hadn't met (only me and my sibling could see him cuz he was from the future and cuz we had strong connection) while I was on vacation with my family, to complete a mission lol or to correct a mistake, I don't know? But I only remember an open roof bus ride with my head on his shoulder and me pretending to sleep while my brother and tyun were discussing ways to complete the mission and my brother said to taehyun, "bro, stop taking continuous glances at her, and pay attention to what I'm saying." And I tried my best to not smile cuz I was 'pretending' to sleep.
The above two options were for the 'build your own dream' category.
For the 500 words category:
- soft morning fluff with waking up beside bf or husband tyun, cuz soft morning fluffs keep me alive.
You can choose either of them, thankyou so much<3!!
And sorry if these were dumb or didn't make sense at all!!
THANKYOU AND SORRY AGAIN!!
Also, CONGRATS FOR THE 500!!
500 BASH SPECIAL
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#serene adds ✎... these weren't dumb at all!! They were really cute, I'm so jealous that you get actual dreams of them, I only ever dreamt about Jungkook and even then he barely acknowledged my existence.. I picked the first one hehe! Though I changed it up a little but kept the college and football theme, I hope you'll still enjoy (੭ ・ᴗ・ )੭ sort of proofread
wc -> 1.4k
pairings football player!taehyun x afab!reader warnings making out, handjob & fingering but like at the same time, implied oral (f. rec), taehyun is kinda whiny I think, ft. bsf beomgyu
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The sun was practically melting the blue plastic seats off the bleachers and you felt your thighs sticking to them in a most uncomfortable manner. Loud cheering echoed out over the field and with a hand shielding your eyes from the vile exposure of sunlight, you peer out amongst the players in the hopes of spotting your boyfriend amongst the crowd. 
Before you can find him, a voice calls out for you, shifting your attention to your left as Beomgyu takes the seat next to yours. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” He exclaims as he hands you a soda which you gratefully accept, the cool liquid much needed. “You found him yet?” He asks as he, too, squints toward the players running on the grass. 
“There”, you say as you point toward the very front. Taehyun was dribbling the ball between his legs as he ran toward the other team’s goal. The cheering around you only increases as he maneuvers past the opposing players before finally finding an open slot to shoot his shot. — The screams erupting were deafening yet you couldn’t help but smile as your boyfriend ran back to his teammates, all of them jumping with joy. 
“Tsh, what a show-off”, Beomgyu mutters as he studies his cuticles. You scoff as you give his shoulder a push, “and you could’ve done it better?” — “Give me two weeks”, he sneers as he raises his injured arm, covered in a thick layer of bandage. “Would you really want to crush your best friend’s ego like that?” You muse as you take a sip of your soda. Beomgyu huffs as he leans back, “such trivial things hold no significance out there.” 
He then turns to you with a small frown, “speaking of which, where were you earlier? I thought we were supposed to meet by the library?” Oh, right, you had completely forgotten about that. “Oh my god I’m sorry I was just going to say goodbye to Taehyun I-” Beomgyu holds up a hand as he shakes his head, “don’t. I do not wish to indulge in such gruesome details.” 
Your lips part as you frown, “it was just a goodluck kiss!” Well at least it was supposed to be. 
“Taehyun!” Your voice echoes off the walls as you wander down the empty hallway toward the locker rooms. There was no reply, maybe he had already left for the field? Yet the loud chatter coming from the other side of the door to the guy’s changing room told you that he must still be around. Fishing up your phone from your back pocket, your fingers search for his contact when suddenly someone grips onto your arm. 
It’s with a small shriek that you’re pulled inside one of the old out of use classrooms. “Taehyun, what the fuck!” You practically yell as you give your boyfriend’s chest a hard shove. “Scream a little louder and we’ll have coach coming for us”, he mumbles as his arms wrap around your body, pulling you flush against him. 
“Shouldn’t you be out there, with your coach?” You question as you raise him an eyebrow. Taehyun chuckles as he shakes his head, “he won’t notice me being missing for a couple of minutes.” — “You’re team captain”, you point out to which your boyfriend snorts. “Don’t remind me.” 
Your eyes flutter as he pushes a few strands of hair from your face, “you came to wish me goodluck?” He lets his head tilt to the side as you stammer for a response, “I uh, mhm!” you finally splutter and he grins. “Just a quick kiss though”, you say as you study him with a wary expression, all too familiar with your boyfriend’s antics. “Alright, just a quick kiss”, he agreed as his hand slid down your back to take place on your hip. 
You never got tired of kissing Taehyun. He was tender, gentle, your kisses taste like cotton candy, sweet and soft, quickly melting on your tongues. But those very kisses soon sparked into something far more lewd as your boyfriend backed you up against the neatest desk. — “Taehyun..” your low whisper rings out in the quiet classroom and he hums against your lips. “It was only supposed to be a quick kiss”, you whine as his hands trail beneath your loose t-shirt. 
“Mhm”, he breaths against your cheek before reconnecting your lips. “We are still kissing”, he says. “Yes but-” you gasp as his fingers shamelessly slip past the cup of your bra, methodically stimulating your nipples as they harden under his touch. “So, it’s still just a quick kiss”, he assures you as his other hand trails down your chest, struggling with the button of your jeans. 
You consider his words for approximately half a second before giving in. You were still kissing, so it could count as a quick kiss, no? The second Taehyun’s hand slips beneath the fabric of your panties you suddenly find that you don’t care anymore. Your hips immediately move forward as you chase his touch. Taehyun groans against your mouth as he drags his fingers between your wet folds, coating himself in your slick before pushing inside your throbbing cunt. 
“F-fuck”, you croak as you bite down on his lip, pulling a soft gasp from your boyfriend. — “Touch me”, he practically whimpers. You didn’t have to be told twice, your hand quickly unzipping his pants as they pulled his underwear back to free his cock. Your fingers around his shaft cause his breath to hitch as his own fingers curl inside of you, making your thighs tremble. 
You squeeze his tip, thumb pressing against his slit before letting your palm slide down the length of him. “Mhn, fuck angel”, he splutters as his hips jerk forward, the twitching of his dick only making you clench down harder around his fingers as you gasp in ecstasy. 
“You’d better win out there today”, you murmur against his wet lips, tongue dwelling deep inside his hot mouth and you feel him shudder against you. “Anythin’ for you angelface”, he groans as his thumb rubs your clit feverishly. “Anything huh?” You hiccup as his fingers stretch your pretty cunt, your boyfriend nods against you. 
Feeling the familiar knot building in your stomach, you draw in a sharp breath as your hand quickens its pace on his cock. “If you win today, I’ll let you fuck me raw”, the statement falling from your lips surprises you just as much as it does him. You felt him twitch within the grasp of your hand, the thought of you granting him something like that felt almost unreal and he moaned into your mouth. 
“I’ll win, I’ll win”, he murmurs as he deepens your already messy kiss. “Fuck angel I’m-” he barely gets his warning out before he spills all over your hand, hips stuttering as his fingers inside of your freeze. — He’s barely come down from his high when he pulls himself from your lips, making you gasp as he falls to his knees, impatiently tugging your jeans down your thighs as he buries his head between them, determined to make you finish before his game. 
Taehyun is the first to greet you after the match, his shirt drenched in sweat as he clings to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Ew, gross”, Beomgyu bitterly comments as he watches the two of you with distaste. Your boyfriend rolls his eyes as he leans back to press a sloppy kiss to your cheek. “Jesus Taehyun, you smell awful”, you grin as your hand on his chest prevents him from going in for seconds. 
“You wound me”, he drawls as he tugs you closer despite your greatest efforts. — Swinging his bag over his shoulder, Beomgyu’s gaze suspiciously flickers between you and Taehyun. “You guys are coming to the celebration party tonight, right?” 
Your lips part in an unspoken reply but your boyfriend beats you to the matter. “No can do”, he shrugs as his hand squeezes your waist. Beomgyu frowns as his eyes flit toward you, only to be met by an equally unenthusiastic shrug. “She owes me a kiss”, Taehyun then adds and you shoot him a glare. 
“Actually she owes me a lot of kisses.”
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walrus150915 · 4 months
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cw: discussions of nonsexual grooming
There is one thing that has been spinning on my mind ever since I watched the movie. This conversation isn't that popular in the fandom, probably due to its uncomfortable subject matter, but it needs to be discussed. I'll be the one to start
The Director has groomed Ambrosius and it affected him far into adulthood
(A really long analysis post)
Warning: I'm not a psychologist neither am I really educated in this sphere, and I never was a victim of grooming, so don't take my words as 100% truth. However, I'm a literature student, so I can analyse a few scenes and make a conclusion lol
So, to start off, let's share the definition of grooming, shall we?
"Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them."
Now, of course Ambrosius is an adult in the movie, and we can't exactly know his entire history with the Director. So this analysis will take a few things as truth despite them not being confirmed
- the Director has been by Ambrosius's side throughout most of his life. Considering the fact that she's been around even when Ballister was a child, the same can be assumed about Ambrosius
- we as viewers do not see Ambrosius's parents (because this is quite unnecessary to the narrative, maybe we'll see them in a sequel Quane and Bruno were teasing buttt¯\_(ツ)_/¯), and he's been in the Institute since childhood, so it seems like the Director was the most reliable adult in Ambrosius's life
Despite Ambrosius being a grown man, the effect the Director has on him cannot be denied. His relationship to the Director is like half his character arc, the man being torn between his loyalty to the kingdom and his lover
I will take a few scenes from the movie where Ambrosius and the Director interact and try to analyse them
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Starting off strong, we've got the "acting like common children" scene. I could point out the obvious bias the Director puts in her words (villainizing an oppressed group of people as a rich white woman in power how nice of her) but we ain't coming to her throat for classism today. Pay attention to her praising Ambrosius and singling him out. "Thankfully, we have a descendant of Gloreth to lead us"
Are other knights happy to be around Ambrosius tho? The answer is no
(Text below is taken from the screenplay. The scene is after Nimona's and Bal's escape)
***
Knights: I knew we never should have trusted Ballister./If Goldenloin hadn't trusted him.../Well, if Goldenloin hadn't helped him...
***
Todd: This is his fault!
Knights: Yeah!/Tell him, Todd!
Goldenloin realizes all eyes are on him
***
I think it wouldn't be wrong to assume Ambrosius's colleagues dislike him at best and outcast him at worst. Compared to Todd, who seems to be the more liked one amongst their peers (bro really is a jock bully high school stereotype in his 20s isn't that embarrassing), Ambrosius is isolated. He doesn't have anybody except Ballister and the Director. And as you all know Ballister and Ambrosius are separated for the most of the movie. So it leaves him with the Director as the closest person to interact with. Yeah...
Also in this scene she displays TWO tactics groomers use to manipulate their victims: isolation and favouritism
Another scene I'd like to pay attention to is Ambrosius's ✨iconic✨ freak out
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"What's on your mind, Ambrosius? You can talk to me"
"...I'm fine, Director"
This scene actually left me confused on the first watch because it looks like a perfect moment for the Director to seem at least somewhat sympathetic. It truly seems like she cares about him
Honestly it's pretty hard for me to surely say whether or not she's being sincere or not but her goal is definitely to win over Ambrosius's trust, to make him believe she's a safe person (now that his real safe person is away ajdjdjj). That is also another tactic for groomers to manipulate their victims
And I think it would be fair to mention Director's attitude towards Ballister's and Ambrosius's relationship. It's obvious she knows about them (...not like it's rocket science have you seen these lovebirds) and disapproves. She doesn't outright state it but it's really clear
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"Sir Goldenloin, is your loyalty to this Kingdom or to the knight who consorts with a monster?"
Again, amazing case of manipulation. She doesn't say Institute, nor "me" or whatever. She says kingdom. And she clearly knows that it works on Ambrosius, because he is, after all, Gloreth's descendant. Gloreth was the original protector, and Ambrosius is supposed to be the protector now. By choosing Ballister he betrays the kingdom, his bloodline and Gloreth
Now, I know this scene is not Ambrosius & the Director because it's Nimona in disguise but considering how good Nimona was in playing her part we might as well assume real Ambrosius would act the same.
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Look at these eyes. He's afraid of her. She has the complete power over him. And Ballister is aware of this (if that's how he told Nimona to act)
Off-topic but I watched Nimona with two of my buddies yesterday and during this scene they both went like "Wait, who is she to Ambrosius again? Is she his mother? Because she acts like she one" and they are so damn right???
Now remember the fact that during one of the interviews Eugene Lee Yang said that the Director is Ambrosius's parental figure. Do with this information whatever you wanna do
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I'm still not over her audacity in this scene. Her lip didn't even twitch and she's killing a person whom she praised for his bloodline. Saying "May Gloreth forgive you" while DRIVING A SWORD THROUGH HIM is beyond evil like??? Chill out Nancy Reagan???
I could say that this is the scene that debacles the American model minority myth (with East Asians being put on a pedestal and used to further reinforce white supremacy). A white woman killing an East Asian man while using a Christ-like figure to justify her actions (Gloreth is literally mentioned to be a Christ figure in the art book), and, if we take into account the theory that she wanted to set Ballister up so that it looks like he killed Ambrosius, BLAMING IT ON A BROWN ASIAN MAN was really a choice huh
The Director killed Ambrosius the second he questioned her, the second he wasn't useful to her
And how was he being useful to her? Allow me to introduce you to the scene which made me SUPER uncomfortable once I realized what was going on
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During most of the movie Ambrosius acts rather impulsively, reflexes play a big part in his body language. And what does he do? He protects her with his body
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"We need to get you to safety!"
Ambrosius was trained in a way that he needed to protect the Director with his body and his life.
Even in scenes where Ambrosius and the Director don't interact you can see how much Ambrosius is brainwashed.
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"She manipulated you. She manipulated both of us. But together we'll take her down, you'll be a knight again"
"Thank you. The Director can't-"
"The Director? Oh, no, Bal. I'm talking about your sidekick"
Ambrosius refuses to even think about the effect the Director has on him. He's insisting on Nimona being the manipulator despite him being manipulated
Finally, when Ambrosius realizes something is CLEARLY wrong, he still tries to talk some sense into her
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"But what if we're wrong? What if we've always been wrong?"
Despite him being a constant witness to Director's misdeeds he tries to do everything peacefully. Look at his face. This is a face of a man who doesn't want to harm. He gives the Director a chance to improve herself. I think he would forgive her after everything she's done
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...but being a conservative she'd rather explode than admit she's wrong. So she attempts to kill Ambrosius again
This, again, says that no matter how much mercy you show to hateful people, they'll continue to be horrible to you. Just because they think they have a right to
Analysing Ambrosius's and the Director's relationship I think it'd be more than valid to state that she has, indeed, groomed Ambrosius to exploit and use him for her own (political and other) benefits. Other knights were brainwashed and groomed too, but something about her attitude towards Ambrosius really bugged me the wrong way
She is an excellent manipulator and Ambrosius fell victim to that, which is no surprise
Thank you for reading this! It took so long to make😭 If you want to add on anything in the reblogs please do, because the discussion HAS to happen at some point
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riddle-rosethorns · 3 months
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Name: Ismund Kolbeck Pronouns: he/him Orientation: Gay Based on: Elsa (Frozen) Dorm: Pomefiore
Introducing Ismund! I think he's the first OC I've posted here (and also my 1000th post to this blog! Yippee!) and honestly I'm really proud of how his ref sheet looks. Feel free to ask me questions about him, I really love infodumping to anyone who'll listen lol. I'm still working out a concrete character arc for him in my brain, but I can gladly share my concept for it once it's finished baking.
More info under the cut!
Grade/Class: Sophomore/Class E (No. 12) Birthday: December 22 (Capricorn) Age: 17 Height: 180 cm Dominant Hand: Left Homeland: Shaftlands Club: Mountain Lover Club Best Subject: Practical Magic Hobbies: Skiing Pet Peeves: Being treated differently due to his status Favorite Food: Chocolate Least Favorite Food: Anything spicy Talent: Singing
Ismund was born on the winter solstice to the king and queen of a small kingdom in the frozen north of the Shaftlands. The two were not mages but Ismund was blessed by an ice fae at birth, granting him powerful elemental magic. His parents' unfamiliarity with the practice of magic meant that Ismund was not given proper training as a child and his powers quickly grew out of control. This resulted in an incident during which his younger brother, Aksel, was seriously injured.
Following this incident, Ismund was forbidden from practicing magic and forced to conceal his powers from the kingdom's subjects. Aksel still knows about his brother's magic, but was too young to remember the specifics of the incident. All he knows is that it gave him the white streak in his hair and magic of his own, though his is closer to that of a standard mage in terms of power. Ismund still blames himself for hurting Aksel, however, and distances himself from his brother as much as possible to keep it from happening again.
Once he was of age, Ismund was summoned to Night Raven College to learn to better control his magic. Even still, he never leaves his dorm room without gloves on- something that has been instilled in him by his father ever since the incident. Most other students only know him by his cold demeanor and icy stare, as he keeps his distance from his peers to avoid hurting them the way he did Aksel. Ismund is also very secretive about his identity as a prince and soon-to-be king, not wanting his classmates to treat him differently due to his status as royalty.
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nonokoko13 · 9 months
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SPOILERS SXF CHAPTER 93 ❗❗❗
So, chapter 93. Starting with Anya scores...
THAT'S MY GIRL!!!! CONGRATULATIONS BABY!!! 🎉🎊🥳
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(Let's take a moment to appreciate what a good and supportive friend Becky is too 💖)
As I expected Anya passed classical language (with a huge improvement!) but in the large, tedious walk on Hell that is school not everyone can get exceptional grades in every subject unless you're a Desmond apparently and Anya, as many people who preceded her and will come after her, failed math.
I have seen many people make theories about how certain older student who we shall discuss next could be her tutor. However, my theory is that she will receive help from Bill in the future
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It makes more sense: both already know each other, Anya has more chances of Bill accepting or suggesting to help her than the-one-I-shall-name-later and overall Bill seems more communicative and better at socialising and explaining himself. Let's not forget he received a stella in math after all. So for me Bill seems like the most plausible option (maybe we will get jealous Damian with this friendship?)
Back at the Forgers residence the Authens pay a visit to congratulate Anya as well. When I read Sigmund's sentence about how rewarding is to have a payment for your hard work my mind automatically thought "But sometimes no matter how hard you try you don't get a reward. Sometimes the result is just not worth the effort" (I think many people has a canon event that reveals them that, specially when you're in highschool, middle school or college)
And right after thinking that he agreed with me lol. My mind really anticipates things before finishing a panel
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Speaking of hard work and grades, I'm taking this chance to give my opinion: a system based on giving stars to those who have the highest grades while those who fail face the possibility of being expelled is awful. Not getting a star and comparing yourself to your peers already make horrors to your self esteem, imagine a child getting expelled for repeatedly fail a exam that may not be adapted to their needs (or getting many tonitrus for things your teachers disapprove of you but you didn't know it was wrong or for something about yourself you cannot control. For example a kid with ADHD unintentionally interrupting someone, disconnecting in the middle of a conversation or making noise with their leg when they stay still for too long. No need to go as far as talking about neurodivergent kids, look at that chapter where Anya got a tonitrus for not having a handkerchief. Who the fuck is punished for that when you're an adult anyway)
Enough of that, back to the chapter. Let's talk about what hyped me the most: Demetrius finally appearing on screen!
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We already had crumbs of him before. Given Damian inferiority complex when comparing himself to him when he had talked about school and Twilight noticing his exams barely had any mistakes back in the chapter where Daybreak was welcomed to this world, him being a exceptional student when it comes to academics isn't surprising in the least.
Many say he's ugly and exactly like his father but I disagree. Donovan looks like a goddamn Frankenstein if Frankenstein was ugly, Demetrius take after his dead eyes look but he's pretty like Melinda. Not conventionally pretty like Damian or Melinda but kinda pretty. Like a zombie with sleep deprivation but in an endearing way. It's not his fault he's built like a Tim Burton or Don't Starve Together character... anyway I'm sure his appearance can grow up on you, hopefully (;´ ▾ `)
About the theories regarding this panel
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It may be true something's going on, maybe he was really experimented on... But I can't stop thinking he was in that very moment "No thoughts, head empty" mode
I mean, he looks like a walking corpse in dire need of a proper nap, can you blame him if his thoughts are mainly focused on studies when Donovan probably spent time with him only for the sake of producing a good grades, not independent thinking machine as his heir? "He watch him study all the time."
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I don't think it was necessary for a tragic incident to change Donovan and made him distant from his family. I suspect he has always been like that, perhaps even before having Demetrius, so it was less a traumatic big event and more the exhausting everyday life Demetrius has been having as far as he remembers of being supervised by his father in order to be the best at school and everything that turned him into the probably burnt out teenager he is.
Same with Melinda, being married to somebody you might not have even loved when you first got together, a man who doesn't try to understand others or seem capable of caring for anyone, a man who is not precisely publicly known for his kindness (remember Millie and Yor's boss when Donovan was brought up?)... Being married to that kind of person for years and then having kids with that person and have to keep being related to them for at least until your kids graduate sound like a miserable life indeed
The Desmond have a common theme going around that is understanding the world around them, or rather the lack of it. I can say for sure that Demetrius feeling overwhelmed simply with a bunch of kids and thinking he can't understand people have its roots in Donovan
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• For Donovan is his narrow minded belief that nobody can't understand — therefore neither trust — each other because people is different; and as long as that phrase of "two people can't think the same" lives to the reality it finds itself in reaching a common ground is impossible.
• Donovan influenced Demetrius. Perhaps Demetrius doesn't share his father belief and that's not why he can't understand others, maybe it is because he was possibly deprived of a normal childhood where he could socialise with others of his age without his father expectations onto him.
Many academic gifted children reach a part of their lives where their habit is to think inside the box of "Good grades is all I'm good at or all I should care about; good grades = doing fine; it's all about what you can prove to those who expect something from you, not what you can prove to yourself to make you feel satisfied and happy".
When people who raised you condition you to act, live and think the way they wanted you to do is difficult to break and separate yourself from that. Plus he's going through the middle school phase, from personal experience that makes you x10 times angsty and complicated to understand yourself, much less everyone else.
• With Damian it is less discussed and pointed out because he's been able to have a relatively normal —if anything very neglected — childhood up to this point. He has friends, he acts like a kid of his age, his life doesn't revolve around his grades all the time... But that's the bare minimum of what a good childhood should be like.
It may be because of his age, but he doesn't see the bigger picture of his family. He can't see what is wrong with them (yet) because in his eyes nothing is wrong. Sure, he feels lonely and works hard for his dad to notice him, but that happens in many families right? He's not even in denial, he doesn't phantom the idea that what his family is, how they behave towards each other or towards him, isn't normal.
Don't make me start with how his future plans is following Donovan's footsteps in politics because he's trying that hard to approach him. He works hard at school because in his mind being like Demetrius or how he believes Donovan wants him to be would bring them closer, receive an understanding relationship from his dad when we know there might not be genuine affection between them from Donovan's side to start with.
He's teaching himself that love is conditioned by your "worth" or by whether you get to the expectations your loved ones have. That reminds me of what Sigmund told Anya because it sounds like a foretelling of Damian's life: [...] And one day you'll experience the frustration of realizing that hard work is not always rewarded. He doesn't many things and his age may explain it but it doesn't justify, if he continues thinking like that he'll have his hopes crushed and may turn out like Demetrius.
• As for Melinda, is difficult to talk about the point she stands in the understanding theme. Unlike her family she does seem able to understand people, perhaps because she wasn't raised like her kids have been. She's aware that her husband party made a lot of damage to their country, she seems aware and attentive to what surrounds her.
I don't think she cannot be understanding or perceptive, I think it's the other way around: the people she's surrounded by cannot understand her. Neither Yor, Anya, Damian, surely Demetrius and Donovan neither, her "friends" of the association she's in... Not even us can't understand the reason why she's so conflictive about Damian yet.
In just one appearance Donovan made his belief clear, thus giving us an idea of what type of feelings he has towards Damian. We can get so much of his character as a person with one chapter, but Melinda has appeared more than him and her true self is unknown. Donovan is reserved in a physical way, he isolates himself by not going outside and socialising, but he's not against the idea of explaining a stranger his stance in life. Melinda surrounds herself of people and listens to them but she keeps to herself.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to see more of Demetrius and the Desmonds. Hope we get more screen time of them, unless Endo has decided to drop such episode only to give us a one-shot chapter next and not elaborate further before introducing a complete different arc 💦
Although with what we have I'm already bought and entertained enough. Our favorite family is great but hooray for secondary characters being given depth and spotlight in this manga 🥳
See you next chapter reaction! If I made another one after other 25 full moons. I'm probably forgetting to talk about something...Oh well
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bme-girl · 2 months
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Top 6 things I learned in my first 6 months of my PhD
So here I am, 6 months into this thing that I dreamed of doing for years in my undergrad, and at some point even something I thought wasn't going to happen after initial rejections.
In no order:
#1: However long you think it will take to complete a piece of your project or most tasks really, even with a generous estimate, double that time lol
#2: There is literally no point to comparing yourself to your peers, and that is liberating! :) everyone in your cohort and lab has a unique and different background. In my case, I'm an engineer in a room FULL of psychologists and each one of them is so different from the other still! Comparing yourself/your project or your accomplishments to them and theirs makes absolutely no sense :D so remember that always and be free!
#3: If your supervisor(s)* aren't freaking out or nervous about something, whether it's a deadline, milestone, whatever, then neither should you be!! (*assuming good, supportive supervisors)
#4: In the beginning, take advantage of being new and introduce yourself to EVERYONE and at least get an idea of what they do. You never know who may be able to help you with the annoying server, the niche programming package, or a particular difficult method later down the line.
#5: Remember you are a student. Don't be so hard on yourself and think "damn, I should know this already" or "wow how embarassing idk how to do this." Student is part of your title (still applies to candidates), and if you knew these things already, then you'd have the degree already and there'd be no need to venture in and learn anything ;)
#6: Be honest when you are struggling. Even simply to the colleague or lab buddy that says "how's it going?" I can't tell you how many times I've been vulnerable and said "actually this weekend I had a little cry because I was homesick" and my buddy gives me a hug, and I feel SO much better afterward. Or my colleague shares a similar story and I don't feel so alone :) support systems are everything in this journey!
Some of these were told to me by our most senior PhD (now postdoc) in our lab, and they ring true. I try to keep these all in mind when I am stressed or struggling, and they have helped immensely.
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yanderes-galore · 2 months
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so happy that funger requests are open!!! i've been thinking... Marina x Yellow Mage!Darling? like a darling that is a figure kind of similar to O'saa... this knowledgeable, dismissive, powerful mage from a foreign (to Marina at least lol) land that has that yellow mage philosophy of not following or wanting to serve any gods and dedicating your life to sorcery and self improvement and isn't afraid to laugh at other people lol. I remember they had this sort of dynamic in the game of O'saa kind of seeing potential in her but not really being interested in teaching while Marina wanted to learn more about occult stuff from him... would be cool to see a darling like that!! thank you
I'll try my best to make this lore accurate :) As you suggested in another ask, this is a timeline where you both survive the Termina Festival.
Yandere! Marina Concept
Yandere! Marina with Yellow Mage! Darling
(Ending B Timeline)
Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Religion, You end up enabling Marina, Stalking, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Murder, Isolation, Kidnapping, Dubious companionship/relationship.
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Yellow Mages, according to lore, are mysterious mages who worship and use the blood magic of the Old God Gro-goroth.
However, these people do not devote themselves to worship like other priests... they use their knowledge to benefit their own agendas.
Yellow Mages embrace chaos and aren't concerned with worship, which is already something different than Marina's religion who conduct rituals to appease the Old Gods.
Yellow Mages often expect each other to pursue their own selfish desires, including their apprentices.
Which already gives me ideas....
They seek knowledge of the otherworldly... which is no doubt what brought you to the Termina Festival in the first place.
You meet Marina on the train and you're no doubt the most knowledgeable of the events going on due to your pursuit for knowledge.
You're simply using the festival to fuel your own interests, peering into any sort of information you can.
Marina, being as curious as she is, no doubt finds herself drawn to you.
She's also connected with the occult despite your differences and knows the area well.
You two no doubt speak due to the vast knowledge you both have of blood magic.
I have a feeling this would be a case where the obsession uses the yandere to their advantage.
Due to the selfish behavior of Yellow Mages along with the fact Marina has such an interest in you... you may use her to help yourself.
In fact, I like to think you take her in as an "apprentice" almost due to the fact she follows you so closely.
She, like you, is aware of the dangers this festival holds.
It's occult in nature and as she travels with you... she begins to wonder about your motives.
Her curiosity is what sucks her deeper into her obsession.
For the most part I think her feelings would be similar to her original concept.
Except this time... it isn't just Rher's influence that corrupts her.
It's yours.
As Marina chooses to help you through the festival and learn more about you, she picks up on your beliefs.
She notices you can be cold at times, ambitious, yet very knowledgeable about the Old Gods.
Marina often asks you about certain knowledge as you journey together, wanting to know more.
Even more so if you said something about Marina's church worshiping a darker God similar to O'saa.
You often want to explore and even give some of your own knowledge to Marina.
Your goals may be selfish, yet you treat Marina like some sort of student.
In fact, you may encourage her to give into more... selfish beliefs.
Which is no doubt where things go downhill... all due to you.
The funny thing is, you may not even care as a Yellow Mage.
No, actually, you may see Marina's descent into obsession amusing.
After all, Yellow Mages embrace chaos.
You may even praise her for pursuing things for her own selfish interest.
A Yellow Mage obsession wouldn't be scared upon seeing Marina kill someone for you.
For example, Samarie is most likely her first kill, and when she's done stabbing the dagger... you praise her.
Marina isn't sure how to feel when she looks up at you from her knees, blood covering her blouse and dress.
Her hands are shaking as she drops the blood covered dagger, the crimson leaking into the floor.
Yet you don't abandon her... you tell her she did the right thing.
Be you aware of her obsession or not, you ask her if she did it for her own desires.
When Marina answers with a shaky yes, you nod.
"Then that's all that matters... you're doing well."
Cue Marina realizing she can kill for you or do anything for you along with getting away with it.
Honestly, a Yellow Mage obsession may just make her worse.
Even the party members you have are terrified due to the fact Marina has not only lost it... but you're saying it's fine.
The only member that wouldn't be bothered is if you had O'saa, who completely understands your motives.
By the time you fight Rher, Marina is completely devoted to you.
By this point she's killed for you and clings to you like a lifeline.
She's learned many things from you and appreciates your knowledge.
After your big battle, Marina plans to settle down with you in Valland.
She wants to use her occult skills for a living, to help you.
The unfortunate thing is Yellow Mages like to travel for knowledge.
By the time you defeat Rher, Marina is adamant you settle down with her.
She's tired of having to share you.
Your remaining party members were probably even dealt with by her after the fight.
She doesn't want you to have any more contact with them.
Marina's possessive behavior is amusing to you.
You ask her what she plans to do if you don't settle with her.
You see Marina's gaze darken as she clings to you, blood staining the yellow robes you wear.
"I'll force you to stay with me, to love me, if I have to. You and I belong together after this! I'll find a good home, we'll live together, I'll trap you with me if it makes you love me!"
Her pledge surprises you... yet you find pleasure in it.
She has learned a lot from you.
She's learned to take what she wants.
As a result, you may even choose to give in.
You allow her to take you to Valland, you allow her to find you a home.
You don't care if she puts you in chains or not.
You allow her to pepper you in kisses, to cuddle you tightly.
You allow her to have you in whatever way she wishes.
Meanwhile she finds resources to help you learn.
She helps you... all while you make her worse.
You could leave, you could fight...
But her chaos makes you feel alive.
You want to feed such chaos...
You may even find being with her worth it just to watch.
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