#my parents used to try to keep me up longer a night despite having to browbeat my sister into bed at a reasonable time

[disagigglebilities]

Ah man. I think I figured out what triggered my me/CFS. It was probably when I got h1n1 as a kid and was nearly hospitalized for a high fever. Which means I've had this longer than I thought. As in, it's been 15 years of this nonsense.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Some guy finds Red Hood annoying.

Masterpost

All Danny wanted was one peaceful day. That was all. What does he get instead? A 6’ foot, jacked, vigilante crime lord. (Anti-hero, is that what he is? Danny wasn’t sure.) Now Danny’s not gonna say that a tall, built, hot as hell morally gray bad guy isn’t always unwelcome. It was just this one. (Unless, apparently, you’re Jazz. “Seriously?” “Look I don’t need saving but if he wants to come to my rescue, who am I to complain.”) They have gotten into many fights since Danny first moved to Gotham. ( He had chosen to live in a crime alley despite being able to afford slightly better. The money from his college fund was dumped entirely into said school and the money he earned went to bills and groceries.) Said screaming matches weren't even really fights; they were closer to the squabbles he’d get into with Jazz as an annoying way to express concern for each other. (A habit they, unfortunately, learned from their parents.) So having these types of arguments with said morally gray crime lord had Danny wondering if it was too late to cancel Jazz’s flight. (She boarded an hour ago.) He didn’t want them meeting, actually he’d like to keep her as far away as possible.

That’s why it was really inconvenient for these guys to kidnap him today. He had to get his sister from the airport and now he had to deal with Red Hood? Really? Other than Dickwing, Red Hood was the last person Danny wanted to see in a kidnapping situation. At least the others didn't make him feel like he was disappointing them. Only Jazz was allowed to make him feel the sting of disappointment at being reckless (and occasionally Sam and Tucker). Now, Danny thought he had decent common sense (“Shut up, Jazz.”), but he would gladly admit that he didn’t have Gotham common sense. He wasn’t afraid to go out at night just because the Riddler got out of Arkham. Honestly, he didn't see why he had to be afraid given any time of day. Danny was pretty sure he was basically immortal. (“Immortality is not dying and coming back as a full ghost.” “Then what would you call it, Jazz!?”) This seemed to frustrate Red Hood to no end as Danny lived in his part of the city and Danny was prone to finding trouble. (It actually seems to find him, Danny’s not actively going out and looking for it. He’s just trying to get on with his life.)

Anyway, yeah, Jazz was flying in for the weekend and somebody had kidnapped him. A perfectly normal Thursday. So, in perfectly normal Thursday fashion, Spoiler and Red Hood had swooped in while Danny was in the midst of a really intense staring contest with the kidnapper across from him. (“You know the staring is flattering when Tim does it but you make me feel icky.” The man didn't move and his hard stare barely wavered. “Alright, but I warn you I’m really good at this game.”) A flash of purple and the goon was no longer standing. Red Hood had come in guns blazing and made quick work of the other two kidnappers as Danny waited patiently to be untied. He could have phased through the chains he was hanging by but he didn't see a reason to. Just because they knew he could turn invisible didn’t mean they needed to know about everything else. (“That’s gaslighting, Danny.” “Technically, Sam, I think it’s lying by omission.” “Tucker.” “Right, not helping.”)

“Sooo,” Spoiler sang once Danny was free. “Who’s Tim?” You know what? Maybe it was Spoiler he should have been dreading. Red Hood made his way over, “yeah, kid, you got a boyfriend you didn’t tell us about?” Mm no, he regrets being in both their presence. Danny waved their questions away as he turned in a slow circle looking for the door. He wasn't quite sure of the time, but he was positive he was late to pick up Jazz. He answered as he made his way to the unconscious body of the guy who lost the staring contest, “a friend, well, a customer - a regular really. Nice guy, cute, has a staring problem.” Danny stooped down and started digging through the guys pockets, “do either of you know where the exit is?” Thankfully the guy was the one with his phone, he didn't want to search all the kidnappers. Turning it on, Danny saw that he was late and Jazz had already caught a taxi back to his place. The text had got increasingly more panicked the longer he hadn’t responded along with an alarming number of missed calls. 

Danny shot her a quick text as he followed Spoiler out of the building. Sorry, got kidnapped, am fine now. Please don't call. Will explain later. Love ya <3 He quickly added a selfie that Spoiler photo bombed over his shoulder holding up a peace sign. 

The screen immediately lit up with a facetime call. Danny turned it off and stuffed it in his pocket. He really didn't want Jazz meeting Red Hood.

He turned to face his “saviors.” “Okay, this has been fun. Thanks for the rescue, sorry I can’t stay and talk but I am needed elsewhere.” Throwing a quick salute he started down the street. After a block and a half he stopped at the opening of an ally. “You know I hate it when you all just stalk me from the shadows, it's very Babadook of you.” Hood appeared first behind Danny, “what's Babadook?” “A gay icon,” Spoiler drops in front of Danny. “Very true,” Danny high fives her as he hears Red Hood sigh, seeming to mutter to himself, “this is going in the folder.” “Okay,” Danny says, addressing both of them, “you don't need to walk me home.” Red Hood crossed his arms, “you’d rather your ‘Tom’ walk you?” Danny really really didn't want Jazz to meet Red Hood. Danny sighed, “His name is Tim and he’s just a friend and I’d rather nobody walked me home, I’m a fully capable adult.” “Capable huh? That’s what you call last week’s fiasco?” Last week’s fiasco being an incident that may or may not have involved a cult trying to sacrifice him. (He was insulted that they were trying to sacrifice him to a low level demon. He was the king of the infinite realms and they were using him to summon Craig? Really? Not that they knew any of this but still. Rude.) Spoiler placed her forearm on Danny’s shoulder to lean, as if he wasn't a few inches taller then her. “Not to mention tonight's kidnapping.” Danny shrugged her off. “And you two saved me,” he started slowly backing away into the alley behind him, “so, danger avoided.” Red Hood's hand shot out and grabbed Danny by the back of his shirt collar, “uh-uh, you're not pulling the disappearing act tonight.” Danny had indeed been intending to disappear and fly home, now he was being scuffed like a kitten. In hindsight he had pulled that move fairly often with Hood. Crossing his legs Danny refused to be set down on his feet so Red Hood dropped him. “Ow!”One peaceful day, was that too much? (Luckly, they didnt follow him into his building and just watched him enter. Unluckily, he had a worried and very annoyed older sister to face.) (“A selfie, Danny?! Really!?” “I wanted to assure you it was really me!”)

Part 7

[monstersholygrail]

A monster boyfriend would be fantastic.... Can you imagine him coming to your defense when you have a toxic parent? I'm on the obese side but very short. Last night......a parent called me lazy and fat....despite my efforts t olose weight for health reasons. Now, I feel too scared to eat.

I cried so hard, and wish I had some intimidating boyfriend that would've made my mom shut up and come to my defense. Also, I feel like monsters would not care so much about human standards of beauty. (Even at my healthiest weight, I wasn't like stick thin)

Oh, hunny, I feel you. I’m in the same boat. I’m so sorry you went through that. You are absolutely beautiful the way you are. Do what you need for your health but know that being skinny doesn’t equal being healthy. Please eat, love, because making sure you’re eating all your meals is a part of health. I know that a monster would love you no matter what and would embrace you entirely.

I’ve been through a similar experience and I know I would’ve loved to read something to comfort me so I hope this can comfort you <3

Perfection to Me

Monster bf x chubby fem!reader - tw fatphobia, toxic parent[ing], hurt/comfort, protective bf, body worshipping, multiple orgasms, creampie

You had been so excited. You had recently gotten your very first boyfriend and you were so excited to introduce him to your family and friends.

Of course, all of your friends had been a bit surprised when they first met and they were faced with a huge and intimidating monster. But in reality, your monster bf was the sweetest man you had ever met. He was protective and he cared for you more than you ever could’ve imagined.

And he proved it to you time and time again how seriously he took your courtship. How deeply he considered you already to be his mate. Not shying away from using the term regularly.

All of this just drove your excitement to the point where you couldn’t wait to introduce him to your mother. To show her you’d finally found someone.

That excitement slowly dwindled. More and more as the night went on. It had all been going so well. Your mother greeted your monster bf with delight. Clearly happy, if not surprised, by his presence. It was easily overlooked.

But then the comments started. Snide in-passing comments. Comments about your relationship, your weight, and worst of all your eats habits.

You focus on staring down at the table, trying to keep your tears at bay. Having been so used to swallowing down these comments without a retort. Luckily your monster bf isn’t.

A loud slamming of fists rattles the dinner table, causing you to look at your bf with a sharp gasp. From the corner of your eye you can see your mother do the same.

“Who do you think you are?” Your bf snaps, his hands clenched. Only barely holding back his simmering rage.

Word after word he had been tortured by your mother’s lashing tongue. He had no idea how you must be feeling. But after seeing the tears in your eyes he could no longer sit back and take it.

“Excuse me?” Your mother asks, eyes wide and partially frightened by the aura which radiated from your monster bf.

“Was I not clear?! Who do you think you are to be speaking to my mate like that?” He questions, standing up. Only making his form that much more intimidating to witness. Not willing to listen to any bullshit from your mother.

“Well, I.. I am her mother!” Your mother replies weakly, visibly shrinking back in her chair.

“I have known mothers that eat their young who are kinder than you,” your bf lashes out, claws sinking into his own skin. You wince seeing it, your worry for him growing. Not wanting him to hurt himself because of her.

“How dare you!” Your mother shrieks, hand clutching her chest.

“Baby, plea-“

“No!” Your bf snarls, head whipping to face you, and stopping the excuse from leaving your lips. His arm joining it to stop you from reaching for him.

But as his eyes meet yours, they immediately soften. He leans down, licking and nuzzling into your cheek in a silent apology.

“I will not stand idly by and watch as an insignificant disrespects you,” his voice rumbles into your skin as he moves down to your neck, scenting you. Marking you as his to care for now.

“Insignificant!”

Monster bf tenses hearing your mother’s voice again. Returning to his full height he glowers down at her.

“It is a mother’s job to nurture and protect,” he states simply, making his opinion of her treatment of you quite clear.

“I am protecting her! Protecting her from herself and from everyone out there,” your mother finally snaps. Standing up from the table even in the face of your bf.

Your bf bristles, needing to pause for a moment. Ensuring he doesn’t lose control of himself. After a silent beat he slowly walks around the table and towers over her.

“In this moment you are a far greater enemy to her than anything she will face out in the world…”

You watch as his words sink in. Your mother’s face growing pale and her mouth finally staying closed.

When he’s sure she won’t try and reply, your monster bf moves around her, heading back to you. He holds out his hand which you take without hesitation. Your heart nearly beating out of your chest.

It’s only when your bf immediately reaches with his free hand to wipe softly at your cheeks do you realize you had been crying.

“Come, sweet mate. I think it’s time we leave,” he says lowly as he gathers you up in his arms. You don’t even think about resisting, just letting your bf swiftly lead you out of the home.

You could tell your monster bf was angry. He was furious. And it showed in the way he ravishes you the moment you two get home.

As soon as the door closes behind you he’s plucking you up from the floor with ease and throwing your body gently down on the bed. Endless praises leave his lips, clearly setting out to replace every mean word your mother had uttered throughout the night.

He peels your clothes off slowly, despite the fact he was practically shaking with his restraint. Revealing your beautiful big body inch by inch. As soon as you are bare he pounces on you, showing how much he treasures every curve of your body.

His face nuzzles into your thick neck as he grinds his cock against your pussy lips, all while telling you how hard you make him. Not stopping until you come apart, dousing his length with your essence.

He makes sure to take care of every inch of you. Moving down to latch onto your nipples. Sucking and massaging at your supple flesh until you gush all over the sheets from the toe-curling stimulation. Your body spent but your monster bf not having finished with you, evident by the feral glint in his eye.

Taking his time, setting his own aching need aside, to slowly kiss down the curve of your stomach. His claws digging into your sides and loving how you fill up his hands.

Though his hands suddenly have a far better use as they spread your meaty thighs for him. He dives right in, stuffing his face into your fat pussy and completely smothering himself in your folds. His tongue devouring you like you’re the only thing he’ll ever want to eat again.

Fingers joining soon after, needing to fill you up even deeper as his tongue laps up your essence. His hand and mouth work in total sync till your body is shaking with the need to cum. His mouth sucks greedily at your clit while his fingers curl along your walls. As soon as he finds that sweet spot within you, you’re erupting all over his tongue. White dots briefly clouding your vision from the intensity.

Monster bf barely gives you a moment to breathe as he rises onto his knees, that look in his eyes only growing darker with each orgasm that overtakes you. His eyes rake over your limp form.

“You are perfection,” he breathes out before finally sinking into your tight cunt. You both moan as your bodies connect, your back arching as you show off that body that’s so beautiful to him.

He can’t hold back any longer as he furiously fucks his cock into you, bodies slapping together in perfect harmony. Growls and deep rumbling noises escaping him as your body brings him a pleasure he’s never otherwise experienced.

Together you two bring each other to orgasm after orgasm, never getting enough of each other. It’s not until neither of you can physically not move that you take a break.

“You hungry, love?” He asks as you two lay back on the bed, limbs completely wrapped around each other.

“Hmm, no. Not really,” you reply quietly, your appetite not quite having returned after dinner was interrupted. Monster bf senses this, his lip quivering as he visibly holds back a growl.

“Well, what if we change the venue, huh? You can eat off of me,” he suggests, a lighthearted smugness moving across his features. His free arm moving to rest behind his head while the other keeps a firm grip on you.

“Oh, well that changes things then,” you say through your laughter. Your bfs smugness grows as he shifts down and spreads out across the bed. Showing off his body to you. A body that’s goal is to give you more pleasure than you could dream of.

“Yeah, it does. You can eat a fucking feast off of me…” your bf says with a grin, all in order to bring more of that sweet laughter out of you. To have it tickle his senses. He’d do anything to make you laugh. He leans down and nibbles at your neck, causing you to giggle lightly. That’s it. “And that’s exactly what I plan to have you do.”

Monster bf doesn’t given you any time to respond before he’s back to kissing the daylights out of you.

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Mind Games (2)

Direct cntinuation to Mind games (til we lose control) (takes place before lost time)

Ben/Soldier Boy X Supe!Fem!reader

Summary: Herogasm proves to be a disaster for everyone involved, but at least you and Ben still have each other at the end of the night. Takes places during the Herogasm episode but like I did my own shit

Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it mfs), p in v, shower sex (pls don't try to recreate this, SB has super strength, your man does not, you might break sum), oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, creampie, dom!Soldier Boy, praising kink, Ben calls her mean things a lot (but she likes it), choking, hair pulling, spitting, Soldier Boy cause mf is a warning on his own, typical canonical violence for this show, no use of y/n, Violet isn't her real name, just a nickname.

WC: 6.9k I'm so sorry

A/N: WHAT DID I TELL YALL MFSSS. Took me 2 years to revisit it but yk what it's fine cause every year is Soldier Boy's year. So yeah here we are. I will warn yall im not too good at writing action/fight scenes, like it made sense in my head but idk if that image translated well into the scene. I only know how to write smut im sorry. But to my Ben/Jensen girlie's, this is for you. I'll see yall in hell <3

Gif is not mine I found it on Pinterest

Universe masterlist | I no longer have a tag list so if you'd like to keep up with updates follow @midnightreadinglibrary

Fucking Herogasm. Christ, you didn't remember the last time you were here. Funny, the last time you went to a Herogasm party it was coincidentally with Ben. And it was in fact the last one you ever went to. It never felt right to go back without him. 

"Fuckin' Herogasm," Butcher laughed and shook his head, glancing back at you with intrigue, "You ever been Violet?" 

Your lips curled up a bit and you licked your lips slowly, glancing at Ben for a second before you found two pairs of curious eyes on you. 

"Yeah, every year for like ten years." You responded, and you were met with a look of disbelief from Hughie, and even Butcher had a slight glint of surprise in his eyes. Perhaps they didn't take you as the orgy, drugs and depravity type of supe, not that you blame them, that never truly was your idea of fun. But you weren’t entirely innocent either. "I'm serious. You can ask Ben if you don't believe me." 

Both men gave Ben a long glance and he laughed, shrugging at you. 

"She ain’t lying, I took her to her first one, in 74' was it? Should've seen her, such a pretty doe-eyed lil’ thing, with a face like hers she fooled everyone." 

"Oh, yeah, you showed innocent little me all the ropes. It was very educational." You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the small grin on your face, and Ben had one of his own. 

For a moment you forgot neither of the other two men quite understood whatever was going between you and Ben, so you missed the uncomfortable look on their faces. 

"Oh, I showed you a hell of a lot more than just the ropes, sweetheart." 

"And I'll show you both the barrel of a gun if I have to endure another second of your trip down erotic memory lane. Can we focus here?" Butcher groaned, looking both annoyed and disturbed by your relationship, like a parent who was tired of keeping his two horny teenagers in line. 

You exchanged a look with Ben, eyes big and lips pursed as you tried not to laugh and you gave him a look of having just been scolded. He simply rolled his eyes and half paid attention to Hughie and Butcher as they went back and forth about who was going in first. 

You, as always, just stood there and observed, absentmindedly twirling your knife between your fingers as you listened to them agree that Hughie should go in first so you could be in and out as quickly as possible. In between your own priorities, Ben being the main one, you had almost forgotten why you were here in the first place. Despite the fact that you were picking off Payback's members one by one, you quickly realized this wasn't for you, or Ben and his plot for revenge. No, it was about Butcher getting his. And the two of you were simply there to make it happen. 

You had begun to wonder if this was all there was to it, a means to an end, and in reality neither you or Ben had much of a chance to make it out this revenge mission alive. But if there was something you knew for sure, it was that you would die before you let anything happen to Ben again. Deep down, you hoped he would do the same for you. 

"I'm gonna go check the area before we go in, make sure there aren't any surprises." Butcher announced after a minute or two of waiting, Hughie not being back yet. He started walking, but not before turning to glance at you both with narrowed eyes, "And you two behave, last time I left you cunts alone you broke a bathroom." 

You did a mocking salute to him and snorted when he rolled his eyes at you, grumbling something you didn't quite hear as he began to walk away. He was out of your sight pretty quickly and you could already feel Ben's intense gaze burn on your face. You ignored it at first, but when he stood in front of you, eyes never leaving you, you had no choice but to look at him. You stopped your fidgeting and you looked up at him expectantly as you leaned back against a tree.

"I don't need to read your mind to know you want to tell me something, what's up?" 

"What you said back at the motel, did you mean it?" He questioned, leaning close to your face as he placed a hand beside your head. You stared at him for a second, trying to dig in your mind for whatever it was that he meant. You found his green eyes and you realized. 

Ah. The three fucking words. 

"Seriously Ben?" You groaned, your head falling to the side with annoyance, but more of all you wanted to avoid his gaze, avoid the shame of having confessed your deepest feelings, knowing feelings wasn't something either of you ever talked about let alone ever admitted to. Because feelings meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant weakness. And weakness wasn't something either of you would ever admit to.

He grabbed your chin, grip tight as he forced you to look at him, "Did you? ‘Cause I meant what I said, all of it." 

Your face softened and your lips slightly curved into a tiny smile. You never wanted to search his mind without his permission, it was like a line you never liked to cross, but you didn't need to this time. Just by looking into his eyes you always knew. You could tell a lot by looking into someone’s eyes. You searched his eyes for any kind of deceit or even manipulation, but you didn't find any. You knew what he meant, and coming from him, it meant everything. 

"Yeah," You sighed softly, "I meant what I said." 

"Good." His pink lips curved into a satisfied smirk as he squeezed your face and leaned down, capturing your lips into his own. It was slower, no rushed and desperate touches like before, but he still kissed you hard. There was nothing gentle about it, but was there ever anything gentle about him? 

His tongue slipped into your mouth as he dropped his hand, resting it on the column of your neck. He pressed his armored chest against yours, pretty much pinning you against the tree. His mouth was so skilled, like he knew exactly how to take your breath away in seconds, he knew you that well. You would never allow a man to have this much control over you. But it was always different with him. Your hands found his long strands as you explored his mouth, and you pulled hard. You felt him groan against your mouth and he squeezed your neck in response. You gasped, the sound quickly fading into a soft moan. He pulled back and watched with amusement the look of pure ecstasy on your face as he squeezed your throat. 

"You fucking slut, you still get off to me hurting you, don't you?" He bit his lip as he released your throat, thumb brushing over the skin he knew would bruise, just like everybody else's, even if it was for a little bit. 

You inhaled deeply, the short lack of airflow making you dizzy, but in the most delicious way possible. You opened your eyes, finding his green ones and god you wished nothing but to just ditch the mission and go somewhere where he could take you, over and over again. 

"Are we here to get revenge or are we here to get your dick wet? ‘Cause I'm getting some real mixed signals here." You mumbled, breath heavy and he chuckled. He leaned down, pressing his lips to your jaw before he moved them to your ear. 

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard I'm gonna break a hell of a lot more than just a mirror." He coaxed. The way he spoke in your ear made you rub your thighs together and the pool forming in your panties was impossible to ignore. It was embarrassing how quickly he could pull you apart and do with you what he pleased. "When we get back. Now pull yourself together, we're on a mission." 

And just like that he was standing a few feet away from you. He was looking behind his shoulder, almost as if he could hear someone. And of course, just in time for you to somewhat regain your composure, Butcher came back. Though it wasn't before you locked eyes with Ben one more time as you tried to control your breathing, and the cocky bastard winked at you, lips curled into a shit eating grin before Butcher actually approached you both. 

This motherfucker. 

"All clear. The twins are in there. You shouldn't have a problem going in," He said to Ben, but then looked at you, "You, though, you might get some attention. Pretty girl, dressed in black leather and strapped with knives, that's some BDSM shit if I've seen one." 

"Okay and?" You frowned, now standing by both men.

"Just stay close to him, people might recognize you and approach you. Do what you can to keep a low profile. You might have to get your hands a bit dirty." He looked between you and Ben. You stared at him with a small frown at first, but when he raised his eyebrows at you, you quickly realized what he meant. 

"Wouldn't be the first time." Ben commented with a chuckle when he caught on. You looked at him, slightly unimpressed by his lack of discretion but you simply rolled your eyes. 

Butcher sighed heavily, clearly done with your antics by then and he simply motioned you off with an unimpressed expression, "Off you go, ya dirty cunts." 

"Looks like you might get your dick wet after all." You commented to Ben as you both headed off to the house. 

He chuckled, shooting you a glance as you stood in front of the door. You were both eager to get this over with, you more than him. It was one thing for him to be able to face the assholes that betrayed him, and you were happy to do it with him. But the idea of being around dozens of supes, in an environment where there were no rules, no respect and no boundaries, made you uneasy. You didn't know if you could handle that many voices all at once. It had been a long time since you had been around other Supes, let alone that many, and you had made that decision for a reason. 

Almost as if he could feel the anxiety radiate from you, you felt a large hand fill your own. Confused, you looked down and saw he had intertwined his fingers with your own. "There's nothing to be nervous about, sweetheart, it wouldn't be the first time we do this." 

"I haven't been around other supes since…" You inhaled deeply, your throat slightly closing up at the memory. The last time you stepped foot at Vought Tower, when you realized you couldn't do it anymore. Ben looked at you, eyebrows slightly knitted into a frown, "It's been a long time is all." 

"Just stay by my side, nobody will lay a hand on you. I'll always protect you, remember?" He gave your hand a slight squeeze and the calm yet assertive ring in his voice made you feel almost at ease. Almost. 

You stayed silent, needing all your energy and focus to keep the dozens of voices beginning to infiltrate your mind one by one. The sound of Ben speaking as a very naked man opened the door sounded far, distant, you didn't catch much of what they said. You only knew to move when you felt Ben tug you along. Now the sound of your racing heart was almost as loud as the voices. So fucking many people here. So many Supes. So many voices. All at once. It was deafening. It disgusted you, to have to hear every passing thought these depraved beings had. You didn’t realize you started digging your blunt nails into Ben’s gloves.

It didn’t hurt, but your enhanced strength definitely made him feel the tightening grip of your shaking hands. He stopped and looked at you with a twisted frown.

“The fuck is wrong with you now? You look like you saw your father.” 

You eyes snapped up to find him looking back at you with both confusion, and his version of concern. You opened your mouth but you could only stammer but no words actually came out. You couldn’t think. It was so loud. Your lip quivered ever so slightly as you felt your chest start to grow heavy. Ben saw the look on your face, the way your eyes were frantically looking around the room, your jaw wound up so tight he thought you’d break it. The last time he saw you like this was when you first joined Payback and didn’t have full control of your abilities. 

“Stop that, right now.” He gripped your shoulders hard, really fucking hard, enough to make you shift your focus on him for a moment. You looked at him with wide eyes. “Hey, I need you to focus. Get your head under control. I need you to have my back here, okay?”

“I… I don’t.. I can’t get them to stop. They won’t stop.” You said, so close to being on the verge of tears. “There’s so many, I can’t get them to shut the fuck up. I--” 

“Hey,” He shook you ever so slightly, leaning in close to your face. “The fuck did I just say? Get. yourself. Together. You used to tune ‘em out, remember? So tune them out.” 

You breathed in, your chest rising as you tried to drown out the noise, focus on his face, on his voice. But you couldn’t. You hadn’t been around this many people in nearly a decade.

“I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t be here. I’m sorry.” You shook your head frantically and tried to slip out of his grip but he didn’t let you. 

“I need you here. Just—hey,” he grabbed your jaw, looking out of the corner of his eyes to make sure you weren’t bringing in too much attention before he met your teary eyes. “Just look at me. I’m right here. Remember you used to tune everyone else out and only focus on my voice, hm? Focus on my thoughts, okay? It’s just you and me, fuck everyone else.” 

You stared at him, the green in his eyes seeming more and more green the longer you looked. You even saw a ring yellow in there. His voice. His thoughts, they had always calmed you, centered you. The voices grew more and more distant the longer you looked at him. You listened to his voice as his thoughts became your own. Until only the sound of his voice was in your head. Your breath was shaky as you closed your eyes, a laugh of relief leaving your lips.

He held your face for a little longer, his deep frown less harsh as he watched your face slowly visibly relax and the tension left your body.

“Are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” You exhaled deeply and nodded at him, feeling like you were slowly regaining control of yourself. “Let’s go find the terror twins.” 

You walked around this house for what felt like hours. But it didn’t help that you were being stopped every five minutes by every naked Supe you walked by. Ben was anything but amused.

“I swear to fucking Christ if one more of these slimy jizz-covered fuck faces asks you to use your knives on them I will actually shove my shield up their ass.” Ben grumbled with a look of disgust on his face.

“They’d probably like that.” You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing at the death glare he shot you.

“Eat shit.” You actually snorted this time, and you were full on giggling when he started mumbling curses at you as he walked off. 

You ultimately decided splitting up was probably the way to go, the house was way too big and had too many rooms, you’d find the twins quicker if you each went your own way. Ben was reluctant at first, a bit apprehensive to leave you on your own after you almost broke down earlier. But you reassured him you were fine and perfectly capable of going on your own. You ultimately realized you made the right choice. You didn’t know exactly when or how but out of nowhere you heard a loud blast in the next room and you were launched right through a wall from the blast. Pain immediately started shooting through your body at the impact. You were a Supe, sure, but you weren’t Soldier Boy, you weren’t fucking invincible. You bled and you felt pain like any human. 

It took you a good minute to understand what the actual fuck had just happened. And when you did, you almost forgot about the throbbing pain going through your body. You pushed yourself up to your feet, stumbling and holding on to walls as you dragged yourself through the rubble and burned bodies. Your jaw slightly fell open at the sight of this much mayhem. You didn’t believe in God, but fuck were you praying to a higher power for Ben to be okay. 

You managed to stay on your feet despite the pain. It would go away eventually, in a day or so, but the first few hours were brutal. Still you pushed through, determined to find Ben. You stumbled into a hallway, the walls were falling apart and chunks of cement were all around the floor. But what caught your attention was the sight that fucking American flag and blonde head of hair you had grown to despise. Your heart stopped, you were frozen. You held your breath as you realized fucking Homelander was here. And he currently had Ben pinned to a wall.

This was such a bad fucking idea. You could die a very agonizing death. A bad idea indeed. 

Adrenaline kicked in, you sprinted and with a bit of momentum you landed on Homelander’s shoulders. You were surprised he didn’t hear you coming.You were thankful he was preoccupied with Ben. Your nails dug into the side of his temples and you used all of the energy and power you had coursing through your veins, and sent that straight to his brain.

You weren’t sure if it would even tickle. You tried using your shock powers on Ben once, a long time ago, just to test out how it worked on Supes with enhanced strength, he said it felt like being electrocuted. And right about now you were praying Homelander felt something, enough to stun him at least. You could kill an average Supe if you used enough power, but you weren’t so sure if you were strong enough.

You held on, but you were struggling, commanding your body to release this much energy was mentally exhausting but the sound of Homelander groaning in pain made you smile the slightest bit. The shocks of electricity weren’t going to kill him, but it sure did hurt, and it stunned him. Nobody’s brain was invisible afterall. 

“Hurts, doesn’t it motherfucker? Your body may be indestructible but your mind can only take so much before it breaks.” You spat. Sparks were coming from your fingers as your eyes flashed bright purple. “It’s fucked when its you being held down against your will, huh?”

He screamed, stumbling around as he attempted to grab at you, but this wasn’t the first time you tried to fry someone’s brain off while on their shoulders. You gasped when you saw his laser eyes go off as he screamed, leaving indents on the wall. This split second of distraction was enough to make your focus falter, and it gave Homelander the opportunity to find a grip on you. You cried in pain when he grabbed your ankle and tossed you off. 

You landed fucking hard, it knocked the air right out of your lungs. You coughed as you attempted to get up, but Homelander was grabbing you and pulling you up by your neck before you could blink. He held you up in the air as he levitated so you couldn’t find a way to escape. He held you at arm’s length so you couldn’t reach him, either. The way his empty, ice cold eyes stared you down with evil glee as you gasped for air was terrifying. 

“I always knew you were a fucking bitch. I should’ve killed you when I had the chance. Matter of fact, I’ll do that right now.” Your eyes widened when his eyes gleamed bright red. 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Ben behind Homelander, with a grin as he grabbed Homelander’s cape and pulled down, and he pulled really fucking hard. Your body collided with the ground roughly, landing on your side with a pained cry. But you still saw Ben throw Homelander around by his cape, and had you not been mere seconds away from death, you would have laughed at the comedic irony. You were in and out of consciousness, an aura surrounding your vision. But in between your delirium you could see Butcher and Hughie had arrived, and the three of them were taking on Homelander. It wasn’t long before the three of them had Homelander pinned down. You could feel yourself fade, your muscles give out and your mind shut off. You hadn’t used that much power since you were in Payback. 

You heard indistinct voices and shouting before everything went black. 

“The fuck are you waitin’ for? Blast this cunt!” Butcher shouted and Ben grunted.

“I can’t! Just—Fuck.” His eyes found you in the corner, bloodied and passed out. You couldn’t run away and you wouldn’t survive the blast, he knew that. “You—kid, take her, and get out here. Now!”

“No fucking way!” Hughie shouted back, and Ben felt the urge to blast him instead. 

“Do what he says, take the fuckin’ girl and go!” Butcher shouted at Hughie, catching on to what Ben was trying to do. But before any of them could do anything, Homelander blasted his lasers, screaming as he overpowered the three of them while they were distracted. And just like that he was gone. 

The three men sat in silence, in defeat. They had a chance and they blew it. Ben knew it was mostly his fault, he shouldn’t have hesitated. But he refused to ever let you get hurt. In silent anger he glared at both of them and he stood and walked over to your passed out body. He clenched his jaw as he picked your limp body and carried you. He made eye contact with Butcher and Hughie and it took all of his power not to shoot both of them in the face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your whole body ached, and your head was founding. It was unbearable. You winced in pain as you began to peel layers of clothes off your body. God it fucking hurt. You closed your eyes as you attempted to hold back tears, only snapping back into reality when you felt Ben trace his fingers over your back. He noted every bruise and every cut. He knew they would heal, sure but it still made him seethe with anger. 

“What the fuck were you thinkin’, taking on Homelander like that? Did all the fucking pills you take for your psychosis fry all of your neurons or what?” He was so angry, and he never was exactly kind with his words. You always knew that, but it still hurt when he talked to you that way, especially when you had only been trying to help him. 

Your back was turned to him, so he couldn't see the hurt frown on your face but he did notice you huff at him and move away from his touch, refusing to look at him. 

“Okay.. Hey, no. I didn’t.. I didn’t mean it like that. Fuck.” He bit his tongue, squeezing his eyes shut with regret of his choice of words. You kept your back to him as you continued to undress. He groaned. “You would have died. And it would have been on me. I couldn’t live with that, is all.” 

“Well, I was passed out so it would have been a quick death, if that's of any consolation to you.” You answered shortly as you stripped down to your underwear. You don't think he understood that you stopped caring whether you lived or died a long time ago. 

“Okay, could you not be a bitch for two seconds?” He sighed, already annoyed by your attitude. 

“No. If you want a girl who doesn't talk back to you, go find Countess. Oh, wait, you can't ‘cause she sold you to the Russians. Guess you're stuck with me.” You answered with even more spitefulness, just to tick him off a little bit more. You didn't need to read his mind to know he was beyond pissed. You weren't exactly in a colorful mood, either. Your back was still turned to him as you tossed your bloodied gear in a corner. 

He breathed in deeply, pitching the bridge of his nose, “Violet, look at me when I'm talking to you.” 

You turned around with exasperation, your eyes open wide with a ‘what’ expression as you motioned your hands around passive-aggressively. 

“I didn't mean what I said. I know you were trying to help me… And I know that you can't always control your powers. I sometimes can't deal with my own head, I can't imagine having to deal with everybody else's.” Ben wasn't one to apologize. He was actually allergic to the words I'm sorry. You knew that. But you knew he at least tried to apologize using other words. So you listened. You knew he was having a hard time, too. “But I'm not really one to talk. I think I'm the one that's fucked in the head.” 

Your lips slightly parted at his words and you looked at him with a tiny bit of sadness. You never asked him details of what happened to him. Sure, you could look, but you never wanted to dig through his mind without his permission. He'd tell you if he really wanted to. But you didn't need to know everything to understand that what he went through messed him up. And it messed him up a lot. What happened at Herogasm was proof of that. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened at Herogasm? Don't make me look through your head, I don't want to.” You sighed softly, ultimately giving in, like you always did. Your delicate fingers dragged over his vest as you absentmindedly began to take off his gear. 

Ben stayed silent for a long time. He didn't think he even knew what happened. You were down to the last layer of the top part of his suit by the time he opened his mouth. 

“I blacked out. I don't.. I don't know what the fuck happened. I was talking to the fuck twins and then nothing. Next thing I remember is the burned bodies and the place was all fucked up.” He breathed out a little unevenly, a frown knitted deep on his face. He looked down at you when you stayed silent. “I didn't mean to. You believe that, right?” 

You did. But did he? 

“Of course I believe you.” You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, hands flat on his chest. He brought one of his hands to the back of your hair, holding your head in place. After a few seconds, you hummed, parting your lips slightly. “Can I ask you a question?” 

He nodded. 

“Why didn't you kill Homelander? You had a shot. Why didn't you take it? You would have done the whole fucking world a favor.” 

Ben stared at you with confusion. Did you really not get it? Were you that clueless or was he just that bad at showing his devotion for you? Probably the latter. 

“You saw what my blast did to the house. You wouldn't have survived that. I should have, I know, Butcher won't stop fucking reminding me. But he has nothing left to lose. Can't kill two girlfriends in the same week, y'know?” 

Your mouth fell open with indignation and you shoved at his chest, but deep down you felt warm at the fact that he chose you over his mission, for once. You still pretended to be angry at him, though. “Fucking prick.” 

He brought his lips to your jaw, leaving blunt kisses and you pretend to hate it. But the smile on your face was inevitable. 

“Wanna shower now or what?” He eventually said. That was the reason you were in the bathroom after all. 

You nodded. You could use the hot water on your bruised skin. You finished stripping, Ben just watched you with a perverted grin and smacked your ass before he stripped himself. 

He got in first, turning on the water and letting it run until steam began to fill the small space. He knew you liked it boiling hot. He didn't mind. You got in and immediately went under the shower head. You moaned in relief, the hot water running down your tense muscles, alleviating the soreness on your body. Ben watched you with a surprising amount of patience as he stood behind you. He leaned down and pressed his soft lips behind your neck, licking along the skin before he moved down your neck to your shoulder. He rested his hands on your hips, squeezing the skin as lightly as he could. You had enough bruises for one day. 

“I'm gonna take care of you tonight, m’kay?” He mumbled against your skin before he made you turn around. 

He crashed his lips against yours, rough fingers gripping your jaw as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You whined, already craving more. When he kissed you like this, you just couldn't help yourself. 

“Need you, please.” You were breathless against his lips, your blunt nails digging into his chest desperately. He gave your bottom lip a small tug as he pulled away. 

He made you stand in front of him, his back to the shower wall as he slowly sank to his knees. Your eyes followed him longingly.

“C'mere.” He pulled you towards him, his eyes were full of greed as he made eye contact with you while he directed you to rest one of your feet on his shoulder. 

His eyes stayed locked with yours as leaned forward and licked a long stripe from your hole up to your clit. He wrapped his lips around the bud and sucked. You gasped, instantly pressing your hand against the damp wall to keep yourself up. Your mouth fell open in delight as he dragged his tongue around your sensitive clit. 

“O-Oh. Shit. Shit, Ben.” You whined softly, your free hand falling to his wet hair. He held your hip with one hand, steady vice grip holding you in place as he pushed his tongue into your hole. You swore the cry you let out was heard in the entire apartment. “Oh, my God. Fuck. That feels so good.” 

Ben hummed in approval as you wrapped your fingers around his hair and held his face against you. As if he would go anywhere. He happily kept his mouth on you, head moving up and down as he worked you with his tongue, his nose brushing your clit with every movement of his head. To say that you were so close was an understatement. You could feel your leg start to give out under you the longer you felt that heat build in your stomach. Ben was more than happy to assist you with that, too. His free hand grabbed the underside of your thigh and forced you further against his mouth until your leg was dangling over his shoulder. His other hand stayed on your hip, vice grip holding you upright effortlessly. 

His tongue found your clit one more time, and the emptiness it left was replaced by two long fingers pushing into your cunt. Your eyes rolled back as your mouth fell open in a silent cry. You leaned your forehead against the tile as you dug your nails into his scalp. Fuck, you didn't remember the last time a man ate you out, let alone ate you out like this. It felt so good you wanted to cry, you didn't even remember the pain in your body, all you could feel was pleasure. 

“Feels good, doesn't it sweetheart?” He spat into your clit as he fucked you with his fingers. If the shower hadn't been running the lewd sound of his fingers dragging in and out of your wet hole would've been so loud. But he could still hear it, and fuck did he love it. He took a second to look up at you. Such a pretty little thing when you were so close. “Oh, you wanna come don't you? Mhmm, yeah, you do. C'mon, gimme what I want. I know you can do it.” 

His tongue was back on your clit, he licked harsh stripes as he slipped his thick fingers in and out of your cunt with urgency. The sounds of him licking and sucking on your clit were almost as filthy as the sounds coming out of your mouth. His fingers fucked you without mercy, there was not a single thing gentle about his touch. It was rough and relentless. Just like he was. And it had you seeing fucking white before you even realized. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, lips parting in a silent cry as you held his face against you. But it wasn't like he'd go anywhere, if anything he kept his tongue on your swollen clit and his fingers never stopped. Tears formed in your eyes as your thighs shuddered. And when he didn't stop you were pulling at the ends of his hair to pull him off you. He groaned at this. Quite unhappy to be leaving the warm place between your thighs. 

“I wasn't done.” He looked up at you with a frown. You took in a deep breath, blowing out a small laugh as you grabbed at his face, weakly attempting to pull him back up.

“You can be down there all you want later, I just..” You swallowed hard, somewhat regaining your composure as he stood up to his full height. You pulled him down by his face and kissed him, and you kissed him fucking hard. And the taste of yourself still left on his tongue made you need him even more. “Just need you, okay?” 

“Need me where?” He grabbed your jaw, fingers sprawled out over your throat as he held your face back. He stared you down, malicious eyes full of greed as he waited for your answer. And he wouldn't give you anything until you did.

“Inside me.” You muttered through gritted teeth, almost delirious as you rubbed your thighs together with anticipation. He didn't look satisfied. You breathed in deeply, the aching need between your legs unbearable. “Need your cock, inside me, right now, Ben.” 

He lifted his eyebrows up in satisfaction and gave you a simple hum before he switched positions with you, without a word pressing your front against the shower wall. 

“I fuck you once and you're already acting like a pathetic whore? Okay. But you better fucking take my cock like the good fuck doll you've always been, hm?” He kicked your legs apart with his knee, his back pressing you further into the wall as he pressed the head of his cock against your entrance. You took a deep breath. “Yeah, you're gonna take this cock like a good lil’ fuck doll.” 

You gasped when he pushed himself inside with a snap of his hips, but it quickly turned into a moan when he pushed himself to the hilt, hips rutting against your ass. You dug your nails into nothing as you closed your eyes, taking in the delicious feeling of his thick cock stretching your walls.

“What a tight fucking cunt.” He grunted, gripping your hips, not wasting any time. He barely gave you time to adjust. “So fucking wet. Just for me, huh?” 

You were nodding against the wall instantly, pushing your ass back against him as he fucked you without mercy. You felt his lips on your shoulder as he leaned over you. The lewd sound of slapping skin was drowned out by the shower running but you could hear it clear as fucking day. 

“Yes! Mhmm feels so good.” You moaned softly, mindlessly reaching behind you to touch him, any part of him. Your fingers found his beard as you ran your hand over his face desperate to feel him, then you found his hair, and you latched on for dear life as he drilled into you. 

“Yeah? Like how my cock feels in your guts? You missed it, didn't you?” He pressed the side of his face into your head, allowing himself to close his eyes and soak the feeling of your nails on his scalp, he could even feel the faintest bit of electricity shooting through your fingers. He fucking loved it. 

“Yes! God yes.” You couldn't even describe how much. 

Ben smirked at this as he wrapped his arm over your chest and his fingers found your throat. He forced your head back, making you look at him. 

“Open your mouth,” He ordered, he held his finger to your pulse as he felt the fast rate of your heartbeat. You did as he said, and with a huff he spat in your mouth. “Slut. Swallow it.” 

How he could so easily break you down to nothing and treat you like no other man could, truly was beyond your understanding. But your mind didn't have to understand it. Your body just did it. You felt a pool of wetness seep through you at the damn near animalistic groan that rumbled in his throat. 

“You're such a good fucking girl.” He spat, pressing his lips against yours in a messy filthy kiss. You could barely keep your mouth open, not with the way he was so determined to make you fall apart for him. “You're my good fucking girl.” 

“I want to come. Please I—fuck.”  Your words were broken as your whole body burned up, and it wasn't from the hot water. 

“Of course, you do. It just feels so good, doesn't it?” He squeezed your throat harder, only choked out sounds could leave your mouth as he slipped his other hand to your swollen clit and rubbed harsh circles. 

Your orgasm hit you so hard you didn't realize it until you were shaking violently, your eyes rolled back into your head as you fucked yourself on his cock. Not that he ever stopped. He moaned loudly at the feeling of your wetness seeping on him. The wet sound of his cock slapping against your cunt made him want to come, too. 

“Fuck. Fucking Christ Violet. C'mon, make me come. Fuck yourself on my cock just like that. Be a good fuck doll for me, that's it.” His hand left your throat to pull at your hair. He dug his fingers deep into your scalp as his face fell on your shoulder. With a deep grunt he held you down on him. “Fucking take it, that's it, girl. Just like that. Fuck.” 

You could feel your mixed releases slip down your thigh. You sighed deeply, allowing yourself to close your eyes in ecstasy as he pressed his lips to your jaw. You hummed softly, reaching behind you to run your fingers through your hair. 

“I never want to leave this cunt. Feels so fucking good.” He muttered against your skin. 

You laughed softly, eyes still closed, you breathed heavily, “You're gonna have to eventually.” 

“Like fuck I am.” 

Both of his hands were on your hips and he turned you around. You whimpered softly at the emptiness he left you, but it was quickly replaced by choked out gasp when he grabbed both of your thighs and effortlessly hoisted you up around his waist. Your back was pressed against the tile wall and he slipped his cock inside you without a warning.

“Ben—” 

“You wanted my cock inside you? Well you better fucking take all of it. Every fucking inch ‘til I say so. You want it, don't you?” He spat, already fucking into you like you were nothing more than a toy. He held you up by your thighs as he kept them wide open so he could take as much as he wanted. And that he did. “Of course you do, this cunt is all mine to with as I fucking want. That ain't never gonna change.” 

What a long fucking night you were going to have. But you'd take a million of this over another day without him in your life. And this? This was all you ever wanted. You didn't need anything else, just him.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Five.

Chapter Four. Chapter Six. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or does it just make everything ten times more difficult?

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. angst. mention of illness.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5.7k

Author's Note - it's here!! as always, I can't thank you enough for your love, support and patience with this fic. us writers lead busy lives, and i've been trying my hardest to find the time to write whenever I can, so it means so much that you guys stick with me - even when things take longer than expected. love you all. you're angels. please feel free to spam my inbox with thoughts and suggestions - it always makes my day when you're all so passionate. mwah.

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

The sand is warm beneath your feet, cooling breeze cascading across your skin. The waves caress the shore in repetitive motions, lulling you into calm.

Sunlight beaming down, you shield your eyes and look up, sighing in contentment at the shades of blue that paint the sky.

A shriek and a laugh come from somewhere on your right. You look over and see a couple and their toddler running after each other, sprinting down the beach and into the ocean. The little girl can't stop giggling, tripping over her own feet as she chases her parents. Something tugs at your heart, deep and visceral.

It's been three months since you left home.

It's been three months since you saw Bucky.

He calls every few days, trying to give you the space you need while also keeping in touch. You have to resist the urge to call him every ten minutes. It's an improvement, at least. It was five minutes when you first moved.

He texts you good morning and goodnight everyday without fail, just to let you know he's there. You can't sleep until you get his text. It's like a lullaby, reassuring and soothing. Like a chamomile tea, warming and calming you from the inside out.

You think about him the most at night time. Your days are spent running around preparing for the bakery. Testing, retesting, writing up recipes, measuring out quantities. You want it to be perfect.

The baking is taking your mind off Bucky, for the moment at least. You've thrown yourself into your new role, eager and excited. Stella's ecstatic to have you around. You love that you're still just as close as you were, despite the time apart. Friendships like that are rare.

Lacie calls you most nights. She demands to know what you did that day, who you spoke to, what you made. It's like therapy, sitting and decompressing together over videochat. She's a lifeline, whether she knows it or not.

And of course, the most supportive people in your life - your parents. Your Mom is desperate to come and visit, begging that you let her know when you're less busy so you can show her around. She loves the sunshine just as much as you. A woman after your own heart.

On the nights when the doubt creeps in, unwelcome and dark, you remind yourself how lucky you are. Surrounded by people who adore you, support you, love you unconditionally. And then the night doesn't seem so dark. The light pours through the cracks.

You walk home from the beach, warmed and carried by the knowledge of love.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"This is ridiculous."

Stella's perched on the edge of your countertop, blush pink macaron in her hand.

"Good ridiculous?"

She scoffs, looking at you incredulously.

"Where did your confidence go? You never doubted yourself in school. Yes, good ridiculous. It shouldn't work, but it does."

Shouldn't work, but it does. Seems to be the story of your life at the moment.

"I need these on the menu."

"You don't think they're a little... pretentious? My best seller is a chocolate chip cookie. A honey and rosewater macaron isn't exactly a childhood favourite."

"Babe. That's the beauty of this. You can put whatever the hell you want out in your bakery. So what if they're unconventional? They're delicious. That's all that matters."

"Okay. Fine."

You relent, thinking about her earlier question. Where did your confidence go? When you graduated culinary school, you never doubted your abilities. Your technique, your flavours, your presentation - you had full faith in all of it. Now, you seem to be second guessing yourself.

You know it's because of your Tethering.

Before, you understood how the world worked. Good, bad, in between. Love, lust, the very clear difference between the two. You watched as other people found their forever person, and acknowledged their new journey.

And then you found Bucky. Or, Bucky found you.

Suddenly, the world you'd lived in before no longer made sense. The people, the places, the relationships, all impacted by the way you feel about your soulmate. Everything, everyone, everywhere, reminds you of Bucky. You're experiencing emotions you've never felt before. It's disorientating, confusing, complex. Your understanding of the world has changed completely.

It takes time to adjust.

No one ever talks about the way your Tethering turns your life upside down.

For some, it's completely positive. They enjoy the uprooting, revel in the change.

For others, it's a huge adaptation. One filled with tears, and confusion, and doubts.

Both are valid. Both are understandable.

You remind yourself of this every day.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"There's someone in the café that wants to speak to you."

The youngest waitress, Isabel, stands in the kitchen doorway, looking at you hopefully. You set down your piping bag and wash your hands, talking to her over your shoulder.

"Who is it?"

"No idea. Some guy. He's kinda hot. Brown hair, tall, beard."

Your heart skips a beat, breath caught in your lungs. Bucky jokes sometimes about coming to see you, but would he just show up announced? Do you want him to?

You can't feel it in your chest, you realise suddenly. You can't feel the ease, the relief, the knowing. Maybe being apart for so long has weakened your connection. The thought makes you strangely emotional.

You inhale carefully and thank her, before making your way out. It's almost closing time, and there's no one around other than the man stood with his back to you.

He turns around, and you realise quickly that your hope was misplaced. You've never seen this person before. He is handsome, admittedly. But he's not your soulmate.

"Hi."

"Hey. Are you the baker here?"

"I am."

He holds out his hand for you to shake, stepping closer.

"I'm Rafael."

You tell him your name, and he smiles, nodding.

"Forgive me if this is weird, but I had to meet you. To thank you properly, in person."

You don't say anything, so he continues.

"Let me, uh, explain. Sorry, should have started with that. My sister is sick. She's going through treatment currently, and it's been super hard on her. She's had no appetite whatsoever, and she's losing weight rapidly."

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a load of stuff from this place because my Mom was coming to visit. My sister tried your earl grey and lavender cookie, and ate the entire thing. It was the first time I've seen her eat for weeks. So, I came back and bought basically all of them every day."

You laugh, coming to a realisation. You wondered why those cookies were selling so well all of a sudden.

"I just wanted to say thank you. It might not seem like a big deal, but it's really huge for us. I also wanted to explain why all of those cookies were suddenly going missing at like ten in the morning."

You gesture at him to sit, the both of you taking a seat at one of the tables nearby.

You talk for almost an hour, listening intently to Rafael as he tells you about his family. He moved to California to be with his sister Maria when she got sick, no one else around to care for her. He asks about yours, and you tell him about your parents and their constant encouragement. He's also interested in how you got into baking, so you tell him all about culinary school, and the dreams your Grandma gave you when you were a kid.

"You're really talented, you know."

"I bet you say that to all of the bakers around here. But thank you."

His fingers brush yours where they're resting on the table, making you shiver.

"I'll make Maria her own box, if you like. I'll leave them behind the counter, just tell Isabel who you are."

"You'd do that for her?"

"Of course," you smile. "The idea that I'm helping someone with my silly little creations makes me really happy. We can work out a schedule, and I'll make sure I bake Maria some extras when I do my usual batch."

"You're incredible. Seriously. Thank you."

He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. The two of you are sat in the café as the sun sets, orange glow illuminating the room. You didn't expect to make a friend today. You're glad you have.

"Well, I should probably go and clean up the kitchen. You know where to find me, if you need anything. It was lovely to meet you, Rafael."

He rises when you do, smiling at you earnestly.

"You too. Nice to finally put a face to the cookie, so to speak."

You chuckle and show him out of the door, waving as he walks down the street. Suddenly, he turns around, striding back towards you.

"I'm so sorry if this is forward, and please feel free to say no, but... are you single? If you are, I'd love to ask you to dinner sometime."

The answer to that question is much more complicated than Rafael could ever imagine. So instead, you say,

"I'm not. I'm Tethered, actually."

His brows raise in surprise, but he's smiling.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I am. He doesn't live here, though. He lives back home, where my parents are."

"You guys are married?"

"No! Not yet. It's, uh... a complex... situation."

"Ah," he says, gentle, knowing look on his face. "I thought Tetherings weren't meant to be complex. Isn't that the whole point? That they're easy?"

You laugh, but it's not malicious. You're thinking about how sweetly naive he is, how he's got a huge storm coming his way one day.

"He's my Dad's best friend."

You're not sure why you're admitting this to a man you met an hour and a half ago, but you are. It's almost a relief, to get it off your chest again - to tell someone who's completely neutral, who doesn't know either of you.

"Woah."

"Yeah."

"That... is complicated."

"Yeah," you chuckle. "Understatement of the century."

Rafael leans against the wall, watching you intently. He's curious.

"How did your parents react?"

"They don't know yet."

His eyebrows raise almost comically high.

"Wait, what? How did you hide that? I thought it was supposed to be impossible to hide that you're Tethered. Although, I guess I had no idea, seeing as I asked you out."

"We wanted to figure it out for ourselves first, before telling anyone. And then I moved out here, so we're doing long distance. Like I said, complex."

"Understatement of the century," he laughs.

You look at each other for a moment, before he smiles.

"I'm sorry I asked you out. I wouldn't have, if I'd known."

"Please, don't apologise. I admire your... courage?" you grin. "And I appreciate you coming to see me today. I have like two friends here in Cali, so it's nice to feel like I've made another."

He smiles again, wider this time. Someone's going to be lucky to be Tethered to him one day, you think.

"I know it might surprise you, given my good looks and... courage," he chuckles, "but I don't have many friends out here either. I've been so focused on Maria, I haven't had time to socialise."

"The Universe works in funny ways, huh?"

"Sure does."

You wander back through the door, ready to close up for good this time.

"I'll see you tomorrow, for the cookies. And I'd love to meet Maria one day, if she's up for it."

"I'm sure she'd love to meet you. I'll bring her by."

"Thanks, Rafael."

"Of course. Thank you."

"Of course."

That night, when your Mom calls, you get to tell her you've made a new friend. That makes the both of you very happy.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're testing out a recipe in the kitchen of your new apartment when your phone rings.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, kiddo. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I am, actually. I'm settling in."

"Good, I'm glad. I don't wanna keep you on the phone for too long, but I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead, Dad. Anything."

"How would you feel about surprising your Mom for her birthday?"

"What kind of surprise?"

"I know you haven't been gone all that long, and I know it's kind of last minute, but, I was thinking you could come back to... be her gift? She really misses you, you know."

"I miss her too," you say softly, trying to keep your voice even. "I'll talk to Stella, see if we can figure something out. I'd really love to see you guys."

"We'd really love to see you too, sweetheart."

"I'll call you back later, when I've organised everything. Love you, Dad. See you soon, hopefully."

"Love you, kiddo. Proud of you, you know."

"I know," you smile. "I know."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The journey always seems shorter when you know you're going home.

You make it back in record time, salty ocean breeze whipping through your hair as you cruise along the roads. You take a deep breath and sigh it out, relief filling your lungs. It's good to be back.

You can't let your Mom see you, so you head straight back to your apartment. Your Dad told you they're in the process of renting it out, but they haven't made much progress yet. For now, it's still yours.

You inhale the familiar scent, smiling gently. There's something so particular about the way a place smells when you feel like you belong there. It's like home and comfort and ease all rolled into one.

You unpack a little, folding your clothes and tucking them into the dresser. You told Stella you'd probably stay a few days, wanting to spend as much time with your family as possible. You're rifling through the refrigerator and thinking about a grocery list when there's a knock at your door.

You know who it is.

A feeling of relief washes over your body, tension melting from your shoulders. Your lungs fill easier, your breath falls deeper, everything is a little brighter, a little more colourful.

You open the door to be met with the sight of Bucky Barnes.

He's in work pants and a white t shirt that's stained with grease and oil, heavy boots on his feet. He must have come straight from the Garage.

He looks at you carefully, as if he isn't sure that you're real. You rake your eyes over his form, trying to drink him in. All the pictures you've taken and saved don't do him justice.

He exhales, beaming grin appearing on his face.

"You're here."

You can't help but smile back, his happiness spreading through you.

"I'm here."

Bucky rushes forward and scoops you into his arms, enveloping you completely. He wraps himself around you as he tucks you into his chest, his grip tight and unrelenting. You breathe him in, overwhelmed with emotion and sensation. You didn't realise how much you needed this. Three months is too long.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, slight shake in his voice. He's holding off tears. So are you.

"My Dad wanted me to surprise my Mom for her birthday. It's all a secret."

He smiles, before leaning down to capture your lips in a knee buckling kiss. A kiss that says I missed you. A kiss that says I need you. A kiss that says please don't leave me again.

"How did you know?" you whisper when you pull away for air.

"I felt it. I think I knew the moment you arrived back in town. Thought my mind was playing tricks on me, for a second. But there's no mistaking that feeling. I had to come and see for myself."

"We're getting pretty good at this whole soulmate thing, huh?" you laugh, unaware of the tears running down your face. "I missed you, Buck. So much."

"I missed you too," he murmurs, kissing you again. "Didn't think I was going to survive, some days."

"Me too. Do you know how many times I stood with my car keys in my hand, ready to drive back to you?"

He chuckles and then sniffles, emotion dripping down his cheeks.

"I did exactly the same thing. So many times."

You wrap your arms around his middle, reveling in the way he smells like gasoline and home.

"How long are you here for?" he murmurs, worried he'll disturb the peace.

"I'm not sure. A good few days, at least."

"Okay," he breathes. "I can do a few days. We can do a few days."

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't know, to be honest. It was all kinda last minute."

"It's okay, pretty thing," he mutters into your hair. "It was a nice surprise."

"You're coming tonight, right? To my Mom's party?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

You stay wrapped up in each other for a little while longer, savouring his warmth. He rubs absentminded patterns across the skin of your back, committing the softness of it to his memory.

"I should probably get back to work. I took off with no warning."

"You're the boss. You're allowed," you chuckle.

He laughs with you, and the sound lights up your nerves, illuminates your bones. It settles itself in the hollows of your ribcage, tangles itself in your heartstrings. It's like medicine.

"Can't wait to see you tonight," you whisper. "Wear something cute."

"I always do," he winks, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Miss you already."

"Miss you more."

He looks at you, smiling.

"Man, we're the worst."

"Truly."

He kisses you once, twice, three times before finally leaving, reluctant to let you go. You spend the rest of the afternoon floating on air, relaxed and at ease. You haven't felt like this in a while.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Your Dad sneaks you into the house through the side door, hiding you in the kitchen as he ushers your Mom through to the back yard.

It's decorated with floral garlands and streamers, flowers in vases covering the table he's set up. The golden, warm fairy lights illuminate the space, keeping it soft and intimate. He's been watching, carefully observing the way that she does things. He's recreated her party style perfectly.

There's a few of her closest friends waiting for her, gifts littering the spare chairs. Your Dad walks her outside, hands covering her eyes.

"Surprise!"

You watch through the door as your Mom gasps, grin on her face.

"Oh my God! You guys!"

She runs into your Dad, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I can't believe you managed to pull this off," she says in disbelief.

He sets her back down on the ground and kisses her gently.

"I got you something. I hope you like it."

That's your cue. You sneak out as quietly as possible, standing behind her.

"Happy Birthday, Mama."

She whips around to face you, shock written across her face. Her eyes well up, tears threatening to spill. Yours do the same, bottom lip quivering.

She throws her arms around you, tugging you into her.

"I'm so happy you're here, baby girl. I missed you so much."

"Missed you. You look beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you! Look at you, all sun kissed and glowy. You look so pretty, sweetheart."

You grin at her and she does the same back, your Dad beaming at your identical smiles.

"You're the best gift I've ever received. Then and now."

You're overwhelmed, suddenly, by the realisation that no matter what happens, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how many miles are between you - your Mom will always be in your corner. Your Dad will always be in your corner. Bucky will always be in your corner.

You think, for a moment, that despite everything, you might just be okay.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The night goes off without a hitch.

You drink, you laugh, you sing. You and your Mom dance to ABBA, Bowie, Donna Summer. Your Dad joins in, and can't help but grin every time he watches his girls together.

What a life, he thinks. I'm the luckiest man in the world.

When everyone gets a little past tipsy, your Mom changes the music to something slower, jazzier, richer. Your Dad pulls her into his chest, holding her close as they move to the melody. You're sat at the table taking off your heels when Bucky slides into the seat next to you. He pulls your foot into his lap and undoes the strap, sliding the shoe off gently. He rubs his thumb into your sole, smirking when you groan.

"Have you been avoiding me tonight, pretty baby?"

His cheeks are flushed slightly, top few buttons of his shirt open. He's been drinking a little, his walls lowered more than usual.

"I have to."

"Oh yeah?"

"I feel like I'm gonna burst into flames every time you look at me," you whisper. "I kinda want to rip your clothes off, baby."

He groans at the nickname. You know exactly what you're doing.

"It only takes one look for a minute too long to figure out how I feel about you, Buck. They'll work it all out instantly."

"Dance with me," he murmurs suddenly. "Your parents are too busy staring into each others eyes. Come on, honey. One dance."

His big blue eyes bore into yours, and you know you're fucked. You're never going to be able to say no to him.

"One dance," you whisper.

He takes your hand and leads you to the decked area, brightened by the golden lights. Bucky slides a hand over your back, resting there carefully. You intertwine your fingers with his and step into him, embracing the warmth that rolls off his body.

I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday begins to play, and the two of you start to sway gently, eyes never leaving each others. Bucky pulls you in closer, and you melt into him. You don't care about the repercussions anymore.

Maybe it's the wine talking. Maybe it's something else.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"That was close!"

Your Mom's giggling as your Dad holds her, having just saved her from tripping down the front steps. Everyone's giddy, both from drinking and from laughing.

"Sweetheart. Bucky. Come back for lunch tomorrow. Your Dad ordered too much catering, and we need help eating it."

"Mama, are you sure?"

"I want to see you as much as possible before you go, babygirl. You too, Buck. I feel like we don't see you as much as we used to."

"He'll be there," you reply before he can protest. "We'll carpool, and I'll bring a strawberry and cream tart that I made for you."

She kisses you on the cheek, your Dad leaning in to kiss the other side.

"Love you both."

"Love you," they say in unison, laughing and yelling jinx. "Get home safe, you two!"

"I'll take care of her," Bucky chuckles. "Always."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Why don't you see my parents much anymore?"

You and Buck are walking home along the sandy coastal path, fingers intertwined and sides pressed together. You look up at him, frowning slightly when he hesitates.

"Don't lie to me, James. I can feel it, remember."

You place a hand on your chest to remind him, and he nods.

"It's not the same here without you."

You weren't expecting the sincerity. It knocks you off balance a little.

You stop when you reach a wooden bench, sitting down and pulling him with you.

"So you're isolating yourself from the people who love you?"

He smiles, sadness rife in his eyes. Your tough guy act is crumbling.

"Not on purpose. It just kinda happened."

"You promised you'd talk to me, Buck. Especially if it got too hard. You need to accept support from people, or everything is going to come crashing down."

"I know. I know. But every time I go to their house, I'm expecting you to be there. Every time I go to the beach, I'm expecting you to be there. Every time I walk past your building, I'm expecting you to be there, waiting for me to pick you up. Even when I'm sailing, I can't stop thinking about that day we spent on the boat."

"The other day I had to make three batches of buttercream, because I messed up the first two. I was so distracted thinking about you that I split them both."

He laughs, then, wholehearted and genuine. You can't help but join him, shaking your head at the absurdity of it all.

"Bucky, you have to promise that you'll keep going, even without me. You have to see my Mom and Dad like you used to, you have to still sail and go to the beach. You can't put your life on hold for me."

He takes a deep breath, sliding an arm around your shoulders to pull you in closer.

"Okay. I promise."

You whip your head around to look at him.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that, honey. You're right. I've been waiting for you to come back, so I can start living again. But life is still happening, whether you're here or not."

"Wise words, wise man," you smile. "Not a minute goes by where I don't think of you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know. I feel it."

You watch as he brings your linked hands to his chest, placing them there. You rest your head on his shoulder, lulled into calm by the steady melody of his heart. You swear it beats to the rhythm of your name.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The two of you can't bear the idea of separating, so Buck comes home with you.

"Have you got a blanket?" he asks as he's kicking off his shoes.

"I have. What for?"

"The couch."

You process for a moment before it clicks.

"You're not sleeping on the couch, Buck."

"No?"

"No. I want your ridiculous, radiator-like body heat in bed with me."

He smiles, all giddy and lopsided, before striding across the room to you. Cradling your face in his rough hands, he kisses you with fervour. He's making up for lost time.

You tangle your fingers into his hair, tugging and pulling, smirking when he groans. He retaliates by grabbing your ass and picking you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you through to your bedroom, lips never leaving yours.

Throwing you down onto the bed, he pulls his shirt over his head, watching you hungrily as you do the same with your dress. You're left in your underwear, leaving little to the imagination.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs. "Makes me want to cry."

You reach for him as he settles on top of you, your hand sliding along his stubbled cheek.

"I'm so glad you're feeling what I'm feeling," you whisper. "I'd think I was going insane otherwise."

Bucky kisses you again, before trailing his lips across your jaw, your ear, your neck. He's careful not to leave any marks, as much as he wants to. You glide your hands along the expanse of his shoulders, his back, his biceps. He's so strong, so broad. It makes you ache.

"So fuckin' pretty," he mumbles against your chest. "Like a goddamn dream."

You throw your head back as he attaches his mouth to your tits, nipping and sucking as he goes. Your hands are in his hair again, reveling in the way his groans vibrate through you.

Bucky slots his knee in between your legs as he kisses across your chest, smirking when you grind your hips into it. You chase the friction as best you can, moaning when it hits you just right.

"Needy baby. You don't want my fingers? My mouth? No? Just my knee?"

You nod, then shake your head. You're not sure what you're asking for, drunk on him already.

"Please, Buck. Anything."

"I'll give you whatever you want if you keep saying my name like that."

He makes quick work of pulling your underwear down your legs, swiping his fingers through your wet heat.

"Oh, fuck," he chokes. "Fuck, honey. Is this all for me? Hmm?"

"Yes, yes, yes."

"Yeah?"

"It's yours, Buck. I'm yours."

Bucky drops his head forward, bumping your nose with his.

"I think that's my favourite thing you've ever said," he mumbles against your mouth.

You reach up to kiss him, sucking his tongue before biting at his lips. You can't get close enough. Every inch of your skin is pressed to his, and you still want more.

Bucky crawls down the bed, situating himself between your legs. He nudges at you with his nose before diving in, lapping at you like a man starved.

You'd forgotten what people said about sex when you're Tethered, but it all comes back to you now. Everything is heightened, your senses on overdrive. It's like Bucky has the handbook to your body, and all he has to do is read the instructions the Universe has given him.

He's got you teetering on the edge in no time, right on the precipice. No ones ever made you feel like this. It feels like some sort of small miracle is happening, an otherworldly connection.

"Give it to me, honey baby," he murmurs into you. "Let me see how pretty you look when you come."

You tug at his hair as you reach your climax, the vibrations of his groan only prolonging your release. Bucky helps you ride it out, only ceasing his action when he's satisfied you're satisfied.

He rests his head against your thigh and looks up at you as you come down, breathing heavily.

"You good?"

"So good," you grin. "Never better."

"Me neither," he whispers, crawling up your body to kiss you again. You taste yourself and whine, desperate to feel closer to him.

"Need you," you demand against his lips. "Need you more than anything."

"I know, baby," he soothes as he smooths the hair back from your face. "Gonna give you everything you want. Anything in the world."

You're on the verge of tears again, completely overwhelmed. He's looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky just for him. You think maybe you would, if he asked you to.

Bucky slides home in one gentle thrust, easy as breathing. The both of you exhale, savouring the moment. It's like nothing either of you have ever felt before.

You pull his face down to you, resting your foreheads against each other.

"Buck, I-"

"I know," he breathes. "Fuck, I know."

"Need you to move, baby."

He nods and kisses you sweetly, before pulling his hips back and gliding forward. The angle is just right, both of you keening.

"Fuck, honey. So pretty. So tight. Fuck."

Bucky sets a steady rhythm, not too fast, not too slow. It's like he can read your mind, knowing exactly what you need. All you can say is his name as stars cloud your vision.

He slides his hand down your front, rubbing perfect circles on your clit with his fingers. You clamp down on him and he groans, low and gutteral.

"Need you to come, pretty baby," he whispers hoarsely. "Please. Waited so long for this. Please."

The desperation in his tone is what throws you into your release, muscles tensing and back arched. You grip his biceps, scratching your nails into his sun kissed skin.

Bucky can't hold on any longer, falling over the edge with you. The way he says your name as he does will be ingrained in your mind forever.

He drops his weight onto you entirely, no longer able to hold himself up. You wrap your arms around him, drawing absent minded patterns across his back. You're both sweating and panting. You're both completely content.

"Holy shit," he whispers after a while.

"You think it's gonna be like that every time?" you ask, grinning.

Bucky rolls off you and lands on the bed beside you, pulling you into his chest.

"Honey, just you wait. I've got moves you've never seen."

You snort, unable to hold in your laughter. You're floating on cloud nine, satiated and warm.

"You're the worst," you giggle, running your fingers over his abs gently.

The two of you stay intertwined for hours, enjoying the way your bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. You both drift in and out of sleep, conversing in the gaps. At some points, you just lay in silence, completely comfortable. No one needs to say anything. You both know what the other person is thinking.

Eventually, the sun rises, casting the room in a golden orange glow. Bucky looks like an angel, illuminated by the morning light. You wonder for a second if he is, sent down as a gift to you.

Suddenly, you feel an intense sadness in your chest. You look up at Bucky from where you lay across him, and see a single tear drip down his cheek.

"I don't want you to go."

The only sound that can be heard is his sorrow hitting the pillow.

"I don't think I want to go."

He strokes your hair softly, taking a deep breath to try and get a handle on his emotions.

"You have to, baby. It's your dream."

Your bottom lip wobbles for a second, before the words come spilling out.

"You're my dream."

Bucky sniffles, and you continue.

"I could have nothing, but I have everything if I have you."

You sit up and Bucky does too, capturing your lips in a tear stained kiss.

"We'll be okay, my honey girl."

You crawl into his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his warmth bleed into your bones.

"I know," you say, unsure if you're trying to convince yourself or him.

You know you'll be okay. It just doesn't feel like it right now.

You wonder how many times you can keep leaving and coming back before one of your hearts breaks for good.

tag list part one

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[blueberrypancakesworld]

Hiii there!

I wanted to request an oscar tully x targaryen reader maybe rhaenyras daughter please.. tbh i dont even know what it should be about i just wanted it to ba a oscar and targ reader .. thanks ☺️☺️

The river and the flame

Oscar Tully x princess!reader

warning : hurt/comfort, kissing, holding hands, no use of Y/n

Summary : A sacrifice, the only daughter of the Queen of the Black had to be married and the best match was the new young Lord of the House of Tully who promised to give his strength to the Queen. An engagement and marriage consummated, the fire finds itself in waters where both young nobles must hold each other to make it together and not burn and drown each other.

info : thank you dear anon for this request it was a lot of fun to write it have fun reading and have a nice day everyone

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With fire and strength she could have been born, but when the gods were merciful and gave her first husband something in a night of listlessness through wine and potions, the Queen of the Black conceived her fourth child from a marriage that could never have been consummated.

The queen's first and own princess was born, the little child with the image of her parents bright hair thicker than her mother's silken hair and violet eyes like gems that captured everyone. Behind her were the symbols of the dragon and so she was the only one of her siblings to keep her mother's family name, a decision that complicated things and put her three brothers in an even worse light.

But sacrifices had to be made for the princess, sacrifices in the form of "assassinations", new marriages and the retreat to Dragonstone where the faction of the blacks gathered and rebuilt over the course of weeks and months.

The legacy of the Black Dragon Queen was laid on her true daughter and two small toddlers, even though Jacaerys Velaryon was her eldest son and a young man willing to prove himself to inherit his mother's legacy, he knew he had strength in his blood, a blood that his two brothers had but not his half-siblings.

So the Targaryen family, the black party faced with serious problems Daemond in Harenhall had been trying to gather support for some time, Aegon and Viserys sent away with Rhaena but what now?

An alliance had to be forged because even if honor still prevailed houses no longer chose Viserys' side, it was about the future of families, of royalty and children, it was a decision that could mean death or life, ,,Without news from Daemon we cannot rely on the support of the Riverlands…if you allow the proposal of marriage to be made" the Master began again, who returned without his raven's message.

But she didn't even have to look up from the map to hear her mother's reply, ,,Out of the question" before Rhaenyra tried to find answers in the documents and maps, she had no one to marry but her daughter, but what mother wanted to lose her child in an area she could never get to herself.

It could mean her death but when violet eyes met there was something like hope in the princess's eyes, ,,If my queen allows me to marry the new Lord Tully I would be protected by the Prince Regent and the lords of the surrounding houses who have sworn allegiance to Oscar Tully" she gave her explanation and clasped the small metal statue of the fish they had all heard the aftermath of the death and resurrection of the head of the house and it was the only solution.

It ended in a few arguments, tears and loving gestures but now just a few days later here she was under the banner of the fish with her husband Osacr Tully, despite the fact that they were both young so appreciative of each other he had welcomed her without vourtiele was sincere and loving…and perhaps her heart had beaten faster than she thought when he had placed a kiss on her palm.

He held her hand as he showed her Riverrun, introduced her to the household, the hall and the vassals who had also proclaimed themselves for his wife, he treated her as in the songs and stories of yesteryear about noble knights, ,,My reign would not be possible without you, you are the first flame in the river and my heart rejoices more and more every day in your company my beloved," he said to her as he helped her onto one of the boats and they sailed across the river together.

She smiled back at him and gratefully held his hand, holding this little,,,nushell" quite insecurely in contrast to her grandfather's boats, but with every little jerk he held her tightly to him, his dark eyes like the river assuring her of her safety.

,,You are safe I promise" he murmured to her as he held her and she dipped her hand in the river, the wetness and coolness was pleasant instead of the everlasting heat and warmth, ,,I will follow you my lord husband" she replied after the words her mother and grandmother had taught her.

Before she felt his hand gently on her cheek it was just the two of them and the still river as they came closer and kissed again, ,,Oscar please my love" she whispered and she leaned her forehead against his for a moment as the two barely grown nobles lay in each other's arms enjoying the river ride while a joyful scream could be heard above them from time to time between the clouds and she followed Oscar's interested gaze closely.

The water, the fish, the river was her new home, which she quickly took to her heart. Her clothes, although now more of a bluish red and bronze, she kept the symbols of the dragon with her hair, brooches and Seasmoke herself.

Until she met her great-uncle again who had watched this marriage with a disdainful look and even if he didn't admit it, it offended him that his great-niece had managed the union in what he couldn't do in weeks, ,,Impressive isn't it what a princess can do with such looks and devotion, isn't it Lady Tully?" he had asked her at dinner as he sat next to her and looked into tired, almost haggard eyes that resembled her own in color.

She knew Oscar must have heard, she knew her great-uncle and her husband hated each other, didn't like the prospect of sharing power, ,,Her sacrifice to her family and the Queen towards my Targaryen wife is truly impressive she is not only in my house she is the Guardian of the Riverlands Prince Regent" Oscar said with pride in his voice as he raised his goblet and took her hand saying a good luck to Rhaenyra and his wife and she welcomed the restraint of her great uncle who would have otherwise only made things worse.

But all could not always go well only one moon later at the weirwood tree in the garden of the ruined castle Harenhall the houses of the Riverlands found themselves together with Oscar as their new lord and Daemon, a confrontation the princess attended with Seasmoke watching over the whole thing with an interested eye.

A confrontation that ended in blood as Daemond cut off Ser Willem's head ordered by Oscar whose eyes reflected fear for a moment as he looked into hers she clasped his hand the highborn couple watched this execution for all to see she felt the brief squeeze of her hand as Oscar truly saw this bloodshed for the first time.

,,You did the right thing Oscar they will follow you now and so will my great uncle…I won't let any words come back to haunt you I will stand for it" she told him as soon as everyone else had left the ruined garden and the young lord sat down by the tree still somewhat affected by the murder she felt herself almost reflexively wiping the blood away with a handkerchief before helping Oscar wipe his away.

She returned his silent thanks with a gentle kiss and the two sat there in silence until an idea came to her and she called her dragon who was struggling for space in the garden, ,,You have shown me the beauty of the water of your river let me show you the beauty of the sky" she said and climbed onto Seasmoke's back who seemed happy to be flying again.

She saw how it confused him for a moment, the boy rose and placed his hand carefully on the bright waremn scales and Seasmoke nudged him, mocking Ocsar who had been feeding the dragon fish with the help of his wife.

,,Can we fly through clouds? " Oscar asked as she saw courage and joy return to his gaze and he placed himself behind her, his grip on her stomach tightened and she heard his cry as Seasmoke took off with a scream and seemed to disappear into the smoke of his fire in the air.

She put one hand on Oscar's while with the other she gently guided Seasmoke, knowing that Oscar didn't understand her she would one day teach him, ,,I'll fly through anything you want look at this peace and quiet" she said louder over the sound of the loud flapping of wings and Seasmoke's hissing she heard Oscar slowly relax and hug her, laughing happily as he too saw this special something she could see every day.

Up here there didn't seem to be any problems it was quiet not too hot or too cold and peaceful, ,,It's incredibly beautiful" he mumbled continuing to hold on to her fetus as she headed for the clouds and he hesitantly held out a hand and gasped as his fingers got wet and showed her like a little child enjoying a wooden swing but she did the same and they joined hands and flew through the clouds for hours.

She heard his thanks and praise every now and then, a kiss on her cheek and both their hearts beat together in peace as they found beauty in each other's homes, together in love that would go beyond war.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[starletdawn]

palces out of paragraphs

You sit on your bed eyes glued to your notes and your a sheet of paper. You had a 6 page essay coming up and it was worth 70% of your grade. You suddenly hear a knock. you jump from your bed. “Coming!” you say loudly expecting your parents back from their date night. As you open the door weirdly enough no one is there. You hear the knock again you turn around, and see your boyfriend Jason Dean waiting for you like a little puppy outside your bedroom window. For some reason he was obsessed with climbing your window this was honestly normal behavior for him. You quickly open the window and before you can say anything he goes into your room. He immediately wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into a soft kiss. “What are you doing here baby?” I say as I pull away softly. “Well, I’ve barely seen you today at school. Where have you been my love?” he responds “I’ve been working on my essay I want a really good grade,” I say softly. “Well, now that you’re done with your essay what should we do? I mean I saw your parents leave the house earlier and I was thinking we could…” He smirks now putting his hands on your hips. “There are still some things I still have to review for my test.” You sigh as you bite your lip nervously “And I don't want any distractions.” “C’mon let me stay darling” He pouts leaning in to your cheek giving it a gentle kiss. “Okay, but promise to not distract me.”Promise!” He says you go back to studying. He plays with my hair and fidgets with your cat plushie. “I don’t understand why you try so hard once we get married I’ll spoil you with everything you want.You won’t have to work for a day.” He remarked although you rolled eyes your heart flutter at the thought of you being more than just a highschool fling. “On second thought I would love a smart-ass as my lover” JD teases. After a few minutes you started getting frustrated and tired. Your hands starts hurting and you can barely keep your eyes open the worst part was that you weren’t even close to done. “You should take a break sweetheart” Jason says looking into your tired eyes “No, I can’t” I groan. “You’ll be able to get more done if you’re energized. “C’mon just take a short break and then you can go back to working.” ”Fine” You finally give in. You lay your head on his chest He caress your hair and cheek. “You’re so gorgeous my dear I could stare at you forever and never get tired. You’re honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” His words, his tender touch on my skin, His beautiful eyes all caused my body to relax and before I knew it I was in a deep slumber.

The cold breeze hits your arms goosebumps on your skin. You slowly open your eyes to complete darkness. You look over to your clock it’s 2:00am and Jason is no longer here. “He must’ve left” you thought to yourself. You quickly realized that you forgot to finish your essay you panic searching inside you backpack you find the essay and you suddenly realize It’s all done. All 6 pages filled with information you found a sticky note plastered to it. It read “I used all your notes and resources I tried my best to follow the prompt and use correct grammar I hope you like it my dear. Sincerely, JD” After reading through it. I was honestly surprised I knew Jason was smart (when it benefited him) but oh shit the essay was perfect. Despite his usual bad handwriting he wrote the essay in neat writing and honestly it looked like he put a lot effort into the paper for such short time. You put your essay back into the paper thinking about how lucky you were to have such a precious boyfriend.

This my first writing I’ve published so please be nice but feedback is welcome!!💗💗

[lordsukunas]

tldr: suguru as a child/early teenager and his journey as a sorcerer after he meets you, his new neighbor.

cw: mentions of vomiting, not in-depth. not edited, not beta-read, rushed, and possibly ooc suguru. gender neutral and sorcerer!reader.

a/n: sigh... i’m so tired. probably when i wake up i’ll actually edit it, but i just needed to get something out, so maybe consider this a lil teaser...? i might make a second part expanding on how he ends up going to jjt n then whenever he defects, but im absolutely exhausted rn. exams have been kicking my ass </3 + im going to a festival so this might not be edited for a lil while longer. sorry yall!

a part of me thinks suguru would live in some small, unknown little town. the people are closed-minded, content with the life they’ve built for themselves, and they don’t want it to change. if you’re born there, it’s hard to get out, especially with such few opportunities. it’s a town meant to keep aspiring little doves caged within its walls.

so imagine some six, maybe seven year-old boy going around saying he sees monsters sometimes. of course, the first conclusion any adult would reach is that the poor thing is having nightmares. he’ll grow out of it — all of them do.

but suguru doesn’t.

he’s afraid to sleep at night, and despite his parents’ pleas for him to sleep in their bed, he says that he can’t. “what if you get hurt too?”

they end up having to sneak melatonin in his dinner to get him to sleep at night.

when he turns eleven, he gets a grasp on his technique. he has to eat the monsters, consume them so that they don’t go out and hurt anyone else. that’s easy enough, right?

for the first few weeks, he vomits. they taste disgusting, like dried, crusty rags used to clean up puke and shit. but he has to do it, he has to! otherwise, who’s going to keep his innocent parents safe?

so he keeps going. exorcise, consume, puke. exorcise, consume, puke. exorcise, consume, puke.

exorcise and consume.

then, at age twelve, you come along.

you’re like the sun peeking through the dark clouds after days full of rain and thunder. a breath of fresh air, a sugary treat to balance out the saltiness of this shitty town.

you move into the once abandoned house right beside his, a radiant smile on your face and eyes twinkling with determination.

beautiful, perfect, normal.

the two of you click almost instantly, although suguru’s a little reluctant at first — what if you think he’s weird? his parents and teachers say he’s a bit troubled, nosy neighbors joke that he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic, and bored grandmas claim he’s been touched by the devil. despite their rumors, despite suguru’s reputation, despite the fact you two are polar opposites, you don’t avoid him. in fact, it’s like those things just entice you even more.

“suguru.”

the fear in your voice catches him off-guard, and he stops walking. your hand grips the hem of his jacket, and your finger slowly raises to point towards the corner.

“what is that?”

it’s a crude thing. skin a dingy shade of purple, stubby limbs twisted and contorted into impossible angles, and jagged yellow teeth that poke past its thin, cracked lips.

that’s when he realizes it: you can see them too.

he’s not alone. finally, fucking finally, suguru geto is not alone.

by thirteen, you and suguru are attached at the hip. there’s not a day where the two of you don’t see each other, even when you get grounded for accidentally breaking a bathroom stall trying to exorcise a curse.

they’re so ungrateful.

he’s tainted your image. you were once normal, the cute neighbor nextdoor, but now you’re best friends with suguru, the pretty boy with the strange bangs and broken mind.

you don’t care though, and he loves that you never have.

nothing can separate you. you go to school together, take the same classes (thanks to suguru modifying his schedule), walk home together, exorcise curses together.

you’re all he needs, and he’s all you need. you’re the only ones who understand each other on a fundamental level, who know each other inside and out, down to the very last atom in your bodies.

with you, he’s sure that he can snap the chain and leave this place, to soar so high in the sky that there’s nothing and no one left but you and him.

you hand suguru his slushie, and he takes a long sip, letting the sugar-filled drink wash away the lingering taste of today’s curse.

“sometimes, i think we’re kinda like batman and superman.”

suguru can’t help but scoff. “us? you think we’re superheroes?” how unsurprisingly childish of you.

you nod, snapping your kit-kat bar in half and taking a bite out of it. “yeah, dude! we fight alien bad guys with our superpowers. pretty cool, right?”

he leans back, legs spread and an arm resting on the back of the bench. “sure, but they always get rewarded for saving the day. what do we get?” he doesn’t wait for your answer. “nothing.”

a small frown flits across your typically cheerful features, and suguru wishes he could shove his words back into his mouth and down his throat.

“mm... i think we get stuff. we get to see our parents safe, and even if no one else here really likes us, they’re safe thanks to us, too.” the toe of your shoe traces shapes into the pavement. “we’re the only ones that can do this, suguru. it’s our duty.”

right. duty.

suguru hums, but you can’t tell whether it’s in agreement or not. you decide that it doesn’t matter, that he’s just thinking like always.

“wish i was rich, though," you joke and pop the rest of your little kit-kat stick into your mouth.

after a moment, he shakes his head and takes a sip of his bright purple drink. “me too.”

[writing-for-life]

Dream’s Therapist

Parents

The session notes get longer and longer, so I decide to go over all of them again to decide on today’s topic of conversation.

Intake

Insomnia

Nightmares

Emotions

The client is on time (well, 35 minutes early, but my receptionist tells me he brought a book; she is certain it is “Le Mythe de Sisyphe” by Camus, and he reads it in French). When he comes into my office, he wears a black… robe? despite it being 25 degrees Celsius. Surprisingly, he takes it off though and hangs it on my coatrack. There is still no smalltalk, although he asks, very politely, if I could open the blinds a bit more since today, the room is too dark for his liking.

DT: I’d like to talk about your family today. How do you relate to them? (I notice immediate signs of stress and he looks at my paperweight) Take it, it’s fine.

Dream (He takes the paperweight and begins to fiddle with it, turning it over and over and over again): My family is like… a cosmic jigsaw. We should fit together perfectly, and I reckon we do. In theory. From a distance. To all you mortals. But you should never, ever look too closely.

DT: And why is that? What about your parents?

Dream (Silence ensues. It lasts for 9 minutes. I contemplate several times whether to cut it short but decide to let him sit with his thoughts until he is ready): They like to play a game of charade, I suppose. If we communicate at all, it is in cryptic symbols and metaphors….

DT: You like communicating like that, too, don’t you?

Dream (I notice a glare, quickly followed by a violent shake of his head): My father once gave me an hourglass with a note that read, “Your move.” I still have no idea what he was trying to tell me.

DT: Did you ever ask?

Dream (I notice the familiar eye-roll): No.

DT: Why not?

Dream: You would not understand.

DT: Try me.

(Another bout of silence ensues. This time, it lasts 10 minutes, and I decide to finally intervene—he’s not getting a lot of bang for his buck this way. I notice a moment too late I shouldn’t use the word ‘bang’ when relating to my clients, not even in my mind).

Maybe just explain to me what your parents are like.

Dream (I notice a slightly annoyed exhale through his nose): My father has a particular (he frantically turns the paperweight in his hands) …watch that is a source of contention, and he insists on synchronised cosmic events. Well, not really synchronised as you would define it I suppose but… (he shakes his head again). No matter. My mother has a thing for unravelling galaxies and the ensuing chaos. They are not a great match by any means.

DT: Doesn’t sound like it. Are they still together?

Dream: No. They have not been for a very long time.

DT (Divorced parents. It makes sense): And how did that influence your upbringing?

Dream (He laughs. It sounds… I have no clue what to think and try not to show it on my face. He truly sounds like someone who has forgotten how to laugh. I actually feel sorry for him. I remind myself not to show that on my face either): My father is Time, my mother is Night. Do you expect me to relate to them as my role models?

DT: (I notice bitterness that most certainly covers up some hurt and wonder if he tries to be metaphorical, or if he is diving down into the depths of his delusion again): Do you? Or did you at any point?

Dream (He leans back in his chair and spins the paperweight on his index finger. It keeps on spinning. I’m confused): How could I possibly relate to someone who prunes roses before they are fully in bloom and never even smells them? Or someone who permanently entertains herself with moonlight cocktails and star-shaped canapés? My parents are… unrelatable and exhausting.

DT: And is exhaustion all they make you feel?

Dream (The paperweight stops spinning, and the silence lasts for 6 minutes this time): No, they make me feel conflicted. (He didn’t say he doesn’t feel. Good.) My father… might have taught me something about duty and the weight of eternity. But I suppose I might have preferred warmth (he starts fidgeting with the paperweight again and briefly looks at me) over cosmic-level indifference.

DT (I am surprised at the sudden willingness to share his emotional landscape. I still don’t show it on my face. I hope): And your mother?

Dream (I notice a hard swallow before he gazes out the window. His voice is very quiet): My mother paints the skies with stars. But those… nights are lonely. She revels in the beauty of darkness and starlight but never touches the hearts of her children. She never dreams of us (His voice turns quieter still). Or of me.

DT: You don’t know that.

Dream (He looks at me again): Trust me, I do. Perhaps you should remember who and what I am?

DT (I decide to tread carefully): Yes, you told me you are the embodiment of imagination, dreams and nightmares.

Dream: Correct. And I know she doesn’t dream of me.

DT (That delusion is stubborn. As they are): If your parents never gave you what you needed, did you ever try to seek comfort or solace elsewhere?

Dream (I notice he holds on to the paperweight so tightly that his knuckles turn white. Even whiter than they are): For as long as I remember I longed for nothing more than just a fleeting touch transcending cosmic duty. (He looks at me through his lashes before he focuses on the paperweight again) Make of that what you will.

DT (I wonder what’s gotten into him today. The sudden openness is confusing. Not that I’m complaining): I don’t make anything out of anything. Let’s stay with those desires. (I notice he flinches) What do you truly want?

Dream: I… feel adrift. (He seems to think for a moment): Sometimes I envy you humans (Okay, I can work with the delusion). Your families argue about burnt toast and forgotten anniversaries. My family argues about the curvature of spacetime and the existential implications of your socks disappearing in your laundry. You have no idea how these things affect… (He stops himself) Never mind. You have simpler families—Sunday dinners, awkward Thanksgiving conversations, and no cosmic-level crisis before dessert.

DT (I decide to play): I think you might underestimate the crisis potential of our dinners.

Dream: Do I? (He actually smiles.)

DT: Yes. But let’s stop changing the subject (I notice he looks slightly embarrassed, which is surprising) and get back to your wants. If you had to choose one thing you really wanted right now, what would that be?

Dream (His voice is very quiet again): To escape the endless cycle. But my duty binds me.

DT (That took the wrong direction and definitely requires reframing. Change of tack): It seems to me that you think of yourself as a silent observer at times. Or as being responsible for other people and their dreams. At least that’s what I’m gathering, correct me if I’m wrong. (He just looks at me but doesn’t say anything) What if you dared to dream yourself?

Dream (I notice the deep frown on his face before he puts the paperweight back on my desk): It is not possible to dream beyond one’s destiny. And mine is not to dream.

DT: What if that weren’t true?

Dream (Silence again. Quite brief this time): That seems… like a tome bound in too many shadows.

DT: Did you ever notice you relate to yourself as if you were (I’m fishing for the right words here) a book, written by someone else?

Dream (I notice he shuffles uncomfortably in his seat): That would be assuming I had a story of my own, which I do not.

DT: And why would you believe that?

Dream (I notice he taps his foot. Six times): I trust our time is up?

DT: No, although we’re getting closer.

Dream: Good, I shall leave then. (He makes a move to get up)

DT: I’ve got homework for you.

Dream (I notice the eye-roll, but he actually stays seated): The infernal diary again?

DT: No. I’d just like you to reflect on a thought.

Dream (I notice the raised eyebrow): And what thought would that be?

DT: If it is truly paradoxical to allow yourself to dream while thinking you are responsible for other people’s dreams.

Dream: The former seems… highly improbable.

DT: Are you going to think about it though?

Dream (He gets up and looks around the room for a moment before his eyes finally connect with mine again): I shall, despite the very apparent futility of your… experiment.

DT: I don’t experiment with people’s thoughts or feelings. I just encourage them to step back and have a closer look at them.

Dream: I shall try to… forgive me: I will trust your expertise on the matter.

DT (I notice he actually has internalised our last session. At least to a degree): The delusional one?

Dream (I notice he really wants to suppress a smile, but it’s not working): No, the real one.

DT: Same time next week then?

Dream: Yes. And you may still use ink in your diary. For however long you deem necessary…

< Previous Session

Next Session >

[vnti-vntiety-recs]

Petty Wars

★  PAIRING: mingyu x fem!reader

☆ WORD COUNT: 7.5k

★ GENRE(S): smut, kinda switch!Mingyu, established relationship

☆ SUMMARY: An argument between you and Mingyu leads to a 7 day war of stubbornness to see who cracks first to apologize. Aka I don't know how to summarize, just read it

★ ☆ WARNINGS: smut/unprotected sex/, kinda toxic!relationship?, swearing, sexual acts, mentions of drinking/smoking, rough handling, not really proofread

☆★ NOTES: This is my first ever fanfic y'all PLEASE have mercy. lmk if y'all liked it. reblog/like I might write a lil sum sum here and there. no but this scenario came to me while at work i just had to write it down lol

Just like any other Friday night, you and Mingyu find yourselves at one of Jeonghans' many parties. By the time you get there, everyone is already tipsy. Jeonghan and Seungcheol are already starting up another round of beer Pong against Soonyoung and Jihoon. You can see Dino out of the corner of your eye dancing to the beat of the music coming from the speakers that Seungkwan is currently sitting in front of. Seungkwan isn't one for parties but tends to get dragged to them by accompanying Vernon, who is DJing tonight's party. Seungkwan is Vernon's tech guy and helps with equipment. He seems to be the only one sober so far. You turn to Mingyu and smile. 

"oh looks like we came too late, they already started without us." You yawn, stretching your arms upwards, hiking your short black dress up in the process. "alright let's dip" you make to turn around when Mingyu catches your shoulder. 

"come on, you promised we wouldn't leave early this time," he practically whines.

Despite your near-perfect party attendance, you would actually rather be at home than out partying. Mingyu, on the other hand, being the extravert he is, loved partying with his former dorm mates. 

Due to your clashing schedules, you would rather be out with Mingyu than home alone. With your love for Mingyu outweighing your hatred for parties, you find yourself attending one every Friday.

"Ugh, I'm too sober for this. Let's get wasted already. " You roll your eyes. 

"That's my precious baby," he coos mockingly.

"whatever Gyu, I'm going to go get us drinks. Find us somewhere to sit." With that, you make your way to the kitchen, not hearing Mingyu's response.

For a college student, Jeonghan was loaded, and despite popular belief, it was not his parent's money. Everything he has, he owns himself. How does he do it? Maybe a little conning here drug dealing there, but we don't talk about that. We're just here for a good time.

You're pouring a cup for your boyfriend when you see Seungkwan make his way into the space. 

"Kwan~," you sing, wiggling your fresh set of nails at him. 

"this bitch," he sighs. "what are you doing here again? I told you we're closed go home." he playfully bumps your shoulder, trying to take the liquor bottle from your hands.

"Hush boy, I just got here. Have you had anything to drink tonight?" You giggle at his antics

Seungkwan pulls a face with a mocking smile and salutes, "I'm on the job, plus I have to drive Vernon and his precious equipment home," he says, making you burst out laughing 

"How's my favorite duo?," you ask, taking a sip from the cup you originally poured for Mingyu. "Have you told him you want to be more than just his tech guy?" You quirk a brow at him. 

"ugh let's not talk about it, I don't need people knowing I have a crush on that fucking idiot" he throws his head back in anguish

 You smile at his comment and shrug. "Well, let's catch up later. I'm here with Gyu, and he's probably gonna throw a fit if I keep him waiting any longer. Text me, ok babe?" You make a shaking motion with your hand similar to a phone ringing.

"Alright, bye slut. " He flicks you off lovingly and walks back out toward the DJ booth. "Ask Vern when the next smoke sesh is," you yell after him. He continues to walk, but you can see his head shaking with amusement. 

You will admit you spent more time catching up with Seungkwan than you previously thought. When you make it back into the living room with both you and Mingyu's drinks, you see Mingyu seated on the couch with a red solo cup in hand and a girl sitting on his left. They seem to be deep in conversation as you continue to watch with a quirked brow. "Here we go," you say to yourself and roll your eyes. 

Mingyu is one of the sweetest people you have ever met. He's handsome... and funny....and charming.. and ok, you get the point. He's very popular around campus, and girls never fail to flirt with him even in front of you. Usually, he shrugs them off and ignores their advances, but this time is different it seems.

You approach the two, being the "bold bitch" as Seungkwan likes to call you, you sat squarely in Mingyu's lap, surprising him a bit. 

"oh babe, where have you been? I've been sitting here forever don't you know how thirsty I wa-" 

"Seems like you already found a drink." You cut him off, not paying attention to his whining. You look toward the girl sitting beside him.

"Hello, and what was your name pretty girl?" You question.

You may be jealous, but you're not rude, or at least you try not to be. This girl has done nothing wrong so far. She even smiles at your compliment. 

"Hey, I'm Yeun, I'm guessing you're Mingyu's girlfriend?" You nod politely. 

"Yeun is my friend from middle school. She just started attending this month. Isn't that crazy?" Mingyu states as he excitedly shakes your shoulder. 

"Yeaaa amazing," you tight smile. "well ill let you two catch up. " Your grip tightens, clutching onto both drinks that you have been carrying.

Downing one of the drinks, you get up and excuse yourself. Mingyu reaches out to get you to stay, but you just shove the other drink in his hand. 

"looks like you're running low, here." You smile at him.

Mingyu knows you too well. He can tell you're irritated and decides to let you cool off, choosing to bring it up later. 

Annoyed, you walk around the house until you find the person you're looking for. Spotting him out by the edge of the pool, you walk over with a smile. "Hao!" You wave, catching his attention. Minghao looks up from his phone and smiles, kicking his feet from their spot in the pool, trying to splash you. "Nice try asshole, cut it out. " You complain and take a seat behind him in one of the pool chairs. He gets up and sits beside you. 

"what's up..or what's wrong? You look pissed." His ever-attentive eyes zero in, making his brows furrow. 

"ok, lemme rant real quick and then you can tell me how much of a stupid dramatic bitch I'm being" you sigh.

You give hao a quick rundown of the scene in the living room with Mingyu and pretty girl Yeun. You wait for him to talk some sense into you.

"You're being dramatic. Mingyu is literally always following like a lost puppy." 

You kick your feet dramatically proving his point. "I know, but ugh, you should have seen the way he was looking at her! His eyes were practically shining!" 

Hao pulls his phone back out, already knowing you're about to go off again. He was going to be here for a while. He listened intently, and after you whined to Hao a little more, you started to feel a bit better. You let out a loud sigh and shrug your shoulders. 

"yea, you're right, Hao. I am dramatic" 

"I know. " He doesn't look up from his phone but hears you get up. He waves at your retreating figure, knowing you're probably going back inside to see Mingyu.

As you walk back in you hear a ding in your purse and pull out your phone to see hao send you a funny tik-tok, the caption reading "when your friend goes right back to the bitch she was just crying about." You turn around with a laugh and mouth a 'no literally'

You lock your phone and make your way back to Mingyu. Unlike before, you sat back in his lap with a little less determination. He looks up from his conversation. 

"Did you go pout?" 

It annoys you that he can read you like an open book. You roll your eyes "lets gooo~" you try to whisper 

"in a bit, I'm still catching up" he shrugs off your behavior and goes back to talking to Yeun. 

You sit quietly for a bit until their shared laughter starts grating on your nerves. You're irritated all over again. That cup of liquor from earlier starts tasting a little like this bitch trying to steal my man. You shake the thought from your head. Knowing you might get rowdy, you get up and make your way to the front porch for some fresh air. You look behind you to see if Mingyu even noticed. 

"Still talking to Pretty girl? ok, I see how it is," you say under your breath before pulling the front door open and leaving. 

You didn't like to make yourself out to be a drama queen because you really did try to be a better and more understanding person, but once that liquor starts talking, you start feeling petty and now you gotta go the whole extra mile.

You call an Uber and go home. One thing about you is that if you feel unwanted, you're gonna leave. Simple as that. You make it home and throw your shoes off, already about to start the petty war. 

You grab your extra blankets from the hallway closet and make your way to the guest room. You begin setting up your makeshift camp for however long this war was going to be. You are stubborn, yes, but Mingyu is right there with you in terms of pettiness. You grab your charger from the bedroom, your switch from the living room, and some snacks from the kitchen. You lock yourself in your new makeshift room. Even through your anger, you send Mingyu a quick text telling him you went home and that you're safe. Yes, he pissed you off, but you know he would have a heart attack if anything happened to you. You're all ready to go. You shut off your phone, knowing he's gonna blow it up once he notices you've left. You turn on your switch to binge your favorite game. 

You must have dozed off because you're awoken by the front door shutting with a bang. You can already tell Mingyu is annoyed. He makes a straight shot for the guest room, knowing you go in there when you're upset. He tries the doorknob. You're not a rookie. Of course it's locked. You can hear him let out a humorless laugh.

"ok, that's how we're playing, huh? Stop being childish, come out here and talk to me." 

"Oh, so now you notice me? Didn't seem to wanna talk when you were too busy at the party flirting with other bitches."

A part of you cringed at the word, not really wanting to call her out of her name, but aye, we already here. Fuck it.

"I told you were just friends. I'm not about to explain myself, you're being dramatic." 

You jump out from under the covers and swing the door open. " First you wanna talk, now it's 'I don't have anything to explain'. What do you want Gyu?" 

"I want you to stop being annoying and come get in the bed. " 

Andddd it's game on. 

More than anything, you hate being called annoying. You also hate being called childish, but you let that one slide because there was some truth to it, but annoying?? Now it's up.

"You wanna know what's annoying? going to get drinks, and I come back to you giving my spot up to someone else. What's annoying, is when I tried to join in on the laughs and giggles, and you ignore me the entire conversation, like I'm not LITERALLY sitting in your face." You huff 

"What's annoying, is me leaving at-" you look up at the ceiling and press a finger to your chin in thought 

"1 am, you not noticing or reading my text till 2 am, just for you to get home at -" you grab his wrist and look at his Rolex "3 am. But you know what? I am annoying. Let me be annoying in my own bed tonight. goodnight, Kim Mingyu. " You gently shut the door in his face with a sickeningly sweet smile, not letting him get a word in. 

Mingyu would be stunned if he wasn't already used to your antics. He knew you were just lashing out and would be back under him tomorrow. Even so, something about you calling him Kim Mingyu pissed him off a little. You never called him Kim Mingyu. He shrugged it off and walked back to the main bedroom. If you wanted to throw a tantrum over not getting his attention for a couple of hours, he would let you. He knew you needed to cool down anyway, so he got ready for bed, deciding to try again with you tomorrow.

Back at your "camp," as you liked to call it, you did cool down and realize that, yes, maybe you were overreacting a bit. Your feelings were still valid though. So, what did you decide to do to convey those feelings to Mingyu? Be an adult, sit down, and have a healthy conversation? Of course not. You were too stubborn and prideful to apologize. Maybe even a little embarrassed that you acted out. So instead, you decide to stay locked in your room until Mingyu apologizes :)

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DAY1

You wake up the next morning well-rested and in a better mood. Mingyu tends to hog most of the covers, smother you in your sleep because of his clingy tendencies, and take up half the bed due to his large frame. So you were able to sleep soundly all night long.

You can already smell the breakfast that Mingyu is cooking, instantly putting you in an even better mood. At this point, you have started to totally forget why you were even upset last night. You get up to go brush your teeth and take a quick morning shower. You had skipped one the night before too angry to go into the main bathroom, afraid you would run into Mingyu.

While he's busy in the kitchen, you sneak into the bathroom and shower. By the time you come out, you assume Mingyu is already done preparing the meal and is now eating because as you approach the kitchen; you see him seated with his back towards you. You assume he made you a plate, like he always does. You walk around to the other side of the table just to be met with nothing, just the wood top of the table. Mingyu, who is across from you, eats his meal with a smug look on his face. 

"where's mine?" you cross your arms across your chest. 

"where's my apology?"

"apolo- apology?!" you sputter mouth agape. 

"yes. I want an apology for the way you acted yesterday. " He takes a bite out of a piece of bacon and then holds it out to you.

You lean in, ready to take a bite, when he withdraws his outstretched arm back toward himself. "not until you apologize," he tuts. 

"Huh, are you insane? You're gonna starve me until I apologize? For what? apologize for you ignoring me all night at the party?" Here you were getting ready to forget about the whole thing when he has the audacity to ask for an apology? In your eyes, you're the innocent one here!

You huff out a sigh. "How about you apologize first and then I follow after?" 

"What are you, a toddler?" 

"SAYS THE ONE THREATENING TO STARVE ME!" 

"you can take care of yourself" 

"I don't wanna take care of myself. I want you to spoil me," you say with a hint of aegyo to butter him up. 

He ignores your whines and continues to eat, soon finishing up his plate and placing it in the sink. 

"Fine, be that way! I just won't come back to the room until you apologize to me!" You grumble

"That's okay. I just won't make you breakfast until you own up and admit you were showing out last night. " 

"Oh yeah! Well, I won't talk to you until you admit you were totally gushing over Yeun!" 

"well looks like I'm never apologizing because that never happened! Just admit you were jealous!" he's growing frustrated and begins to walk out of the kitchen 

"hah fine...I won't touch you either." You threatened

This seems to stop him in his tracks. He turns to you with a smirk and closes the gap in distance between the two of you. Mingyu leans down to be eye to eye with you. "let's see how long that last princess" his eyes flutter down to your lips and then back up again to make eye contact. 

Unimpressed, you step around him into the living room turning on the tv. "Ha, because I'm the one that can't keep it in their pants. Yea right, Mingyu you practically live off of affection. Good luck to you. " 

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DAY2 

You're on your 2nd day of sleeping in the guest room. Although you're sleeping better, you can't help but start to feel lonely all by yourself. As corny as it sounds, the nights are starting to feel colder. you miss the way Mingyu would wrap his arms around you at night and keep you pressed against his chest. You missed the way his hair would tickle your face in the morning. You missed his good morning kisses, and you missed seeing him first thing in the morning. If you were going to get him to apologize, you had to work fast.

You get up and make your way to the Main bathroom. You refused to shower in the guest bathroom, preferring your garden tub over the guest bathroom's alcove tub. Lucky for you, Mingyu liked to sleep in. You had free rein in the bathroom, not having to worry about confronting him. You were afraid that your vulnerable morning thoughts from earlier would make you lose face in front of him. After washing up, you sneak out of the bathroom only to see Mingyu wide awake, covers thrown from his body as he crawls out of bed. One look at him, and you knew you had to get out of there ASAP! Mingyu sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes. His hair is a mess from last night's sleep, similar to how it looks after a good pulling. When your eyes rake down his body, you are met with his naked chest. 

nope. nope. nope

If you let your eyes wander any longer, you just know you will pounce on him, so you fix your eyes on the door and make haste to get out of the room. Mingyu watches you scamper out of the room with a toothy smile and a yawn. "Good morning to you too princess. "

After that morning, you sit in your room and plot. He totally planned that. You know he did because he usually sleeps with a shirt on since he gets cold at night. You've decided, since Mingyu took the first shot, you had to make sure that your return fire left him feeling wounded and sorry. If Mingyu wanted to fight dirty, you were going to give him hell. 

That evening, Mingyu left the house to go shoot hoops with the boys, giving you time to stock up on ammo. You went into the main bedroom and looked through your drawers, finding all of Mingyu's favorite pieces of clothing. Your skimpy shorts, your low-cut tank tops, some sexy panties, and a few other things you knew to drive him crazy. You return to base feeling satisfied. You freshen up and change into your velvet booty shorts and matching velvet cropped tank top. You perch yourself on the living room couch and wait for battle.

About an hour later, you hear keys rattling to open the front door, and you spring into action. You toss the phone that's been keeping you company and straighten your posture. You sit up and watch him enter the house. It doesn't take long for his eyes to land on you, and you can immediately tell you have him right where you want him. You can't quite say you have the upper hand just yet because when he enters, he's glistening in sweat wearing a loose tank top and basketball shorts on.

This was not going to be an easy battle. 

His skin is practically glowing. You can't help but lick your lips a bit. This makes Mingyu raise an eyebrow at you with a smirk. He takes a hand and puts it under his shirt, lifting the bottom to wipe the sweat from his brow. Your eyes immediately take in his form. His muscled chest and abs practically begging to be licked clean from the sweat dripping down his body. Your eyes can't help but follow the one drop of sweat that rolls down from his neck, guided through the valley of his pecs, past his abs, and into his navel. You have to rip your eyes away. All your hard work will be for nothing if you don't get it together.

You make your way out from the living room and into the kitchen, grabbing ice cream from the freezer and heading back into the living room. When you return, Mingyu is seated where you were last on the couch, man-spreading, making his shorts ride up and giving you the perfect view of his thighs. He gave you a challenging look, waiting for your next more. At this point, you're ready to say fuck it all and ride his stupid thigh, but you are determined to knock that stupid, smug look off his face.

You put on a show looking for the remote to turn on a movie. You bend over to look for the remote, knowing damn well it's sitting on the coffee table in front of both of you. you play stupid for a little while longer, letting him enjoy the way your shorts ride up as you "look" for the remote 

"you really want that apology huh?" Mingyu chuckles. 

You ignore him, finally turning and faking a gasp. "oh there it is! Silly me. " You grab the remote only to drop it. Oh no, would you look at that? You dropped the remote right in front of Mingyu's spread thighs. You crouch down to grab it, giving Mingyu a full view down the front of your tank-top, boobs practically spilling out in the process. 

"My bad, let me get that." You purr seductively 

As you're coming back up from the ground, you use one of Mingyu's thighs as leverage to pull yourself up. As you're making your way to stand up, you lean more into him than necessary, letting your palm slide up his thigh, pushing the pant leg of his shorts up even higher. You hear a gasp come from him as he grasps your wrist 

"Please baby...don't wanna fight anymore." He looks into your eyes with a groan and licks his lips. "please ill be good for you, I promise." 

You tilt your head with a smile. "Good enough for me that you will apologize?" 

"Don't start with that. " 

"You started it first. Now beg for me to touch you. " You grasp him through his shorts.

"fuck can't take it... please... I need you." He pulls you in for a kiss. 

You're quick to place a palm over his lips, snatching your other hand from him. "I'm still not hearing an apology?" 

"your seriously gonna do this? I'm so hard right now, don't you miss me?" he pouts up at you.

You look down at his lap for confirmation. You find that he is indeed straining against his shorts. You have to physically bite back a moan. 

"That's right baby, it's all for you, come here" he tries to pull you in again but you completely pull off this time. 

Cue the whining. 

Mingyu ends his short tantrum with a huff. You run a hand through his hair until he relaxes against you with a sigh. You tighten your grip immediately and drag his head back.

"Didn't I say I wouldn't touch you until you apologize? I'm not playing with you puppy. " You set him with a hard glare before removing your hand and grabbing your forgotten ice cream and walking back to your room.

"let me know when you start feeling a little apologetic puppy," you yawn with a stretch "until then you're on your own." you don't spare a glance in his direction and shut your door behind you

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DAY5

A few days have passed since the "remote incident" as you like to call it. Honestly, you were surprised he's been able to keep his hands to himself this long. Mingyu is usually insatiable. you know he must be up to something, but you don't care, all truths will be revealed in due time. 

One thing has gotten better though. Mingyu has started making you breakfast again. He couldn't bear to watch you struggle in the kitchen any longer. You never learned to cook, always telling your mother that it wasn't necessary because you would just marry a chef. 

you're not married but eh, close enough, a win is a win. 

You hate to admit it after all those years, but looks like your mom was right. The last couple of days were rough. You tried to follow a few recipes on your own but somehow always screwed up the measurements, causing the meals to end in disaster. So maybe it is important to cook for yourself. The least you could do was learn the basics to help Mingyu out around the house. This week put into perspective how hard and exhausting cooking is. You don't know what you would do without Mingyu. you're just glad that although you two are both ridiculously stubborn, your love for each other still shines through all that hard-headedness. 

You can't help but look across the table and steal glances at your boyfriend. Your heart warms as you watch him enjoy his meal. You finish up and head to your room. 

Nothing major happened for the rest of the day. You just lazed around, did some school work, and took a nap. Mingyu was out of the house today. You took some time to enjoy having the house to yourself. After your mid-day nap, you go to shower. Tonight, you were going out with some friends, so you get dressed and grab your stuff. You settle for something a little more toned down than usual since you were just going to a friend's house and then maybe to a bar for a few drinks. You text Mingyu telling him not to wait up for you as you head out. 

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It had gotten pretty late, and although you were seriously contemplating just crashing at your friend's house; you decide to head back home, nothing beating the comfort of your own bed. Your group of friends finishes up your drinks and begins bidding each other goodbye.

"You sure you don't want to just crash with us tonight?" your friend, Jae suggests.

"Yea, aren't you like having that weird fight with Mingyu right now anyway?" your other friend Chaeyeon chimes in.

You sigh at the reminder that yes; you are currently fighting with your super hot boyfriend when all you really want to do was have him pound you into the mattress, attention too occupied to argue with you or make any slick comments. You're already starting to regret waging this entire war. The thought of how many orgasms you would have had by now is killing you.

How's that saying go? play stupid games, win stupid prizes? yea, you have definitely started to feel like an idiot over the past couple of days.

"yes ok I know we are fighting, but I seriously hate sleeping anywhere other than my own bed"

"aren't you staying in the guest room of your apartment right now?" Chae points out 

You tilt your head with a sarcastic smile. "Your point?"

"Isn't that like literally the same thing?" Jae counters with a side eye

"well I'm only staying in there because I was being a crybaby and now I gotta face the consequences of my actions," you groan "but it's okay, ill be ending this soon"

"Oh, your gonna apologize?" Minnie pokes his head over into your conversation.

You hate to have come this far and lose, but you haven't been fucked in the past 5 days and it's starting to mess with your head. Yesterday, you swore that you were seeing double and that your vagina started talking to you. You were gonna go crazy soon if one of you didn't cave first.

"why do I have to apologize? " you whine again about the topic for the umpteenth time

"Babe, we all know you don't care about giving a little stank apology. You're just too much of a sore loser to drop the act and admit defeat." Jae sighs.

 You think his word over, and you agree. Normally, you would have already apologized by now if that meant having Mingyu rearrange your guts. But the circumstances are different. You already put on a show, threw a tantrum, and started the war. You were too prideful to admit you were wrong or that you overreacted.

Annoyed that your friends could see right through you, you open your phone and call an Uber home. 

"oo she mad" Min snickers

"I'm not mad, I'm tired, and I'm going home," you fake sniffle, begging for sympathy from your friends.

"You're so extra," Chae bursts out laughing.  

"I don't care. You guys are being mean to me!" you clutch your purse closer to your body and glare at your friend's.

"I've literally been deprived of dick for like the last 5 days? You should know how sensitive I am right now! I thought this would be easy, but it seems like im the only one affected. That brat is doing just fine it seems"

"oh yea, he's the brat," your friends say in unison.

Your friends being used to your antics can't help but laugh at the whole situation. Only you could get yourself wrapped up in something like this.

"my Ubers here losers" 

"get home safe slut," Chae smiles

Done with making a scene, you make your exit

"call us when you get home," Jae nags

Your friends, used to your behavior by now, know you weren't actually upset and were just expressing your frustration over the situation you got yourself into. You love that they were able to understand your actions and accept the fact you were a little extra. You wave them goodbye and leave to go find your Uber only having a few more minutes before they cancel your ride.

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You get home at around 1:30 am; you assume Mingyu is fast asleep, given the fact that when you entered, all the lights were shut off and he was nowhere to be seen. You accept the fact that you may have to use the stupid guest bathroom to wash up before bed. You tip-toe down the hall towards your room when you stop in your tracks. The main bedroom was a little further down the hall. You notice the bedroom door cracked, but that's not what halted your movements.

Just faintly, if you hold your breath, you can hear heavy breathing and the muffled sound of skin slapping against skin. the fact that you have been on edge the last couple of days due to dick deficiency must have made you extra sensitive to the familiar sounds coming from the room. You can immediately imagine what he's in there doing. So that's how he's been getting through the days unbothered. you were certain that after the remote incident, he would cave that night and come to you with an apology. The only thing he was coming to was his fist, it seemed. 

"that's totally cheating" you grumble under your breath, extra annoyed at the fact that you didn't think to do that first instead of going to sleep horny. in your defense, you were positive he would cave any day now.

You're making your way to the door, just about to push it the rest of the way open and have your way with him when you stop. An evil grin makes its way across your lips. You know exactly how you're going to get Mingyu to apologize and to fuck you in the process.

Determined now more than ever, you grab the doorknob and shut the door, alerting Mingyu of your presence in the house. You turn back around and make your way to your room. You were going to put an end to this petty war.

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DAY6 

That morning, you hid out in your room until you heard the front door shut, marking Mingyu's departure. You remember Jihoon telling you a few days ago that the boys were hitting the gym and asked if you wanted to join. You had previously shown interest in a new workout routine that you wanted to try, and with Jihoon practically being the group's personal trainer, he was excited to acquire a new gym buddy. still fighting with Mingyu at the time, you declined to tell him you would have to reschedule. Looks like that ended up working in your favor. 

You make yourself breakfast, shower, and put on Mingyu's favorite lace set. getting ready took about an hour and a half, so you're not left with much time to start the show. You make your way to the main bedroom and head into your shared closet. You reach onto the top shelf of the closet, palms searching for your special box. cursing Mingyu under your breath for pushing it so far back, knowing he probably did it on purpose. What you were looking for was your toy box that Mingyu hated. he claimed he could make you feel better than all your toys combined. After finding out he was a man of his word, you retired your box to the closet. You pull out your favorite rose toy and dildo. You close the lid on the box, returning it to its previous spot. You exit the closet and sink into your bed. 

You missed your bed so much, your body practically melting into the mattress as you got comfortable. Mingyu's scent surrounded you. It seemed to be stronger than usual given the fact that his sent completely washed out yours during your 6-day absence.

You sigh contently, almost falling asleep before you shake yourself awake and get to work. He was going to be home soon, so you had to work yourself up. You turn on the rose to your desired setting and place it over the lace of your lingerie, not daring to remove it before Mingyu got a good look.

As your body starts to warm up, you trail a hand up to play with your nipples. You touch yourself until you're practically dripping onto the bed. Mingyu's scent heightens your pleasure. You turn to shove your face deeper into the pillow, letting out a whine at the familiar scent. When you turn up the settings on your toy, you moan at the delicious feeling. You can't help but roll your hips into the toy, imagination taking over. You think of all the ways Mingyu has fucked you in the past.

You soon hear the front door open, alerting you that Mingyu was home. For your plan to work, you needed to have as much control over your desire as possible, so you dial down the vibrations but still keep a small hum against your center. You can hear Mingyu close in on you as he grows closer to the room.

He finally makes it to the room, and when he enters, he comes in with freshly washed hair, low hanging sweats, and a tight black shirt. He must have showered at the gym. You almost have to rip the toy away from your core. You could come just from the sight of him. Mingyu's eyes land on your quivering thighs and heaving chest. He curses to himself as he makes his way over to the bed, getting ready to pounce on you. 

"Don't come any closer, or I'll stop." You can barely get out as you stretch your free hand out in front of you, pushing his chest back. He lets out a loud groan but listens well.

"You're going to go sit down over there in that chair like an obedient puppy and behave. You won't touch me until I permit you. Do you understand?"

Mingyu immediately follows your command and sits in the chair you strategically placed at the foot of your bed. 

"I heard you last night, you know? I bet it felt so good to cum in your hands instead of me. Did you make yourself feel as good as I make you feel?" You say sarcastically

"fuck, please let me-"

"Answer my question puppy or else you won't get anything from me tonight"

"Only you baby, only you can make me feel good. Let me make it up to you. I'll make you feel so good, I promise." Mingyu begins to palm himself through his pants as he rambles on.

"You had your chance puppy. I let you know I was home. You knew where I was, yet you chose to finish yourself off, so now you get to sit and watch as I do the same.

you ignore his insistent whining and squirming, shutting your eyes to focus on the feeling

"selfish...puppy," you say out of breath, arching your back at the stimulation

You hear more rustling coming from the chair Mingyu is sitting in and opening your eyes. You were met with the sight of him gently thrusting his hips up into his palm. you swear quietly under your breath at the look in his eyes, practically screaming to let him have you. 

"Sit still, no touching. you're gonna be a good puppy and sit there and take what I give you"

"Please," he begs 

"That's not what I wanna hear, you know what I wanna hear"

you grab the dildo previously hidden from Mingyu's view and rub it against your entrance, collecting your essence and coating the tip of the toy with it.

"I can't hear you baby, if you don't make it quick, ill just fuck myself" you threaten as you prod just the tip between your lips.

"fuck it. I'm sorry. I should have paid attention to you at the party. Please, just fuck me already," Mingyu cries with a heaving chest.

"good boy" you smirk as you throw the toys down and beckon him over with a finger

Mingyu springs from his spot in the chair, pulling his clothes off in the process and climbing into the bed

You reach for his hair and pull him close to your face, looking him dead in the eyes. He doesn't dare touch you yet until you permit him.

"I'm still in charge. You got that?"

he nods obediently 

"You can touch me now. " You breathe, releasing his hair and falling back on the bed. Mingyu immediately crashes his lips to yours in a hungry kiss, practically moaning into your mouth. He can't help but grind his hips against your core, almost shedding a tear at the feeling.

"i've missed you so bad... fuck." he begins

Moving down your body, kissing your neck, and down to your breast, he removes your bra in the process. While his mouth is busy working on your chest, he shoves a hand down your panties 

"your so wet, I can't wait to feel you stretched out on my cock. after all this time you think you can still take it?" he asks smugly

"You're not behaving puppy. Maybe you need something else to keep that mouth of yours busy. " You push his head down in between your legs. Mingyu happily takes the hint and pulls your panties down your legs, immediately attaching his mouth to your heat. He's barely started, and you're already losing control. Being unable to feel his touch for the past couple of days has made you even more sensitive than usual. Mingyu eats you out like a man starved, making you wrap your legs around his shoulders and bring a hand to his hair. You pull him further into you with a cry. You can't help but rock your hips into his mouth.

Mingyu's middle and ring fingers find your entrance again. Using your slick, he coats them enough to slip through and curve deep into your cunt. You watch him from your spot above him, you can see him grinding his hips deep into the mattress, making you smirk. It feels like you are getting close, so you pull him up, knowing if you finish now, you won't have enough energy for what you're planning next. Much to his dismay, you unlatch his mouth from you. Before he can get out a whine, you catch his lips in another heated kiss, sealing off any complaints from him. You can feel him get lost in the kiss, so you take this opportunity to push him onto his back, taking Mingyu by surprise. 

"Thank you for apologizing baby. " You trail a pointed nail down his body until you reach his throbbing cock. "I also want to apologize to you as well," you swing a leg over his hip, positioning yourself over him. "This is my way of making it up to you, ok?" you smile genuinely as you sink onto his thick cock. 

You would usually be able to take it with no issues, but since it's been a few days, it takes you a few more seconds to get comfortable. Mingyu can't help but moan at the feeling of you clenching around him as he takes your face into his hands and kisses you slowly. Before you pull away, you take this moment to fully adjust. As you pull up almost completely from him, you maintain eye contact before dropping back onto his lap. You watch as Mingyu throws his head back with a loud moan. You repeat this over and over until you find a steady rhythm. Mingyu grasps your hips, helping to guide you up and down his length. You switch pace to something quick and shallow, making you throw your head back at the feeling. You sit down completely on his lap, leaning back enough to hold on to his thighs for a minute to grind your cunt against him, wanting to feel him deep. Mingyu can't take it anymore and plants his feet on the bed. He begins fucking up into you from his position. You have to place your hands on his chest to keep steady.

"I'm almost there puppy...just like that...take it all"

Mingyu squeezes his eyes shut at your words, thighs beginning to shake

"I won't last..please let me cum princess"

"hold it, you're doing so well for me...my good boy. " 

He brings a hand down to your clit and begins to circle it roughly, losing his mind. He can barely hold it. This time tears really do stream down his face as he begs you to let him come. At the sight of his tears, you clench down on him hard and release all over his cock. 

"cum for me" is all it takes to have him release deep into you. You can feel him in your stomach with how deeply he's thrusting riding out his high. You fall next to him, having spent all your energy. You catch your breath and turn to him.

"I really am sorry for the way I acted. I should have tried to talk to you about it before throwing a fit"

"It's okay, I understand. If I saw you talking to some guy at a party I'd be pissed too"

you smile at his comment and can feel yourself drift off to sleep.

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 DAY7 

The next morning you awake to the smell of breakfast. You move to get out of bed when you notice you're wearing a fresh change of clothes. Mingyu must have cleaned you up last night when you passed out. You also notice your stuff has been put back in their rightful spots that you had previously taken out to store in the guest room. You smile to yourself and make your way to find Mingyu. He's in the kitchen cooking breakfast for the two of you. A sense of normalcy falls over you and you are content with this feeling. No more petty arguments and wars. Everything is back to normal. 

He turns to you with a smile. "good morning princess" 

You take a seat and smile in return. You finish your breakfast with Mingyu and straighten up the guest room, returning it to its former state before your war. You spend the rest of the day catching back up with Mingyu. There were a lot of updates that you missed because you were too busy ignoring him. You swore that you would never let another disagreement go on for that long. You seriously missed hearing his voice.

With that, on the 7th day, everything was back to the way it was before, and the two of you fell back into your normal rhythm.

End~

[yhwhsdaughter]

Broken Promises

photo

Gojo Satoru x Female!Reader

The Gojo siblings were like night and day.

When the youngest, Satoru, was born- the balance of the world shifted. Two years earlier, his sister was brought into existence- but nothing changed. She had not inherited any of the techniques; in fact, she could not see curses with her nearly nonexistent levels of cursed energy.

“[Name],”

You turned at his voice, watching Satoru slide the door and enter your chambers, “I bought that kikifuku you wanted.”

Blinking and head cocked to the side, you thought, When did I ask for that? Satoru found the confused expression on your face a bit cute. In reality, he just wanted to buy the mochi and used it as an excuse to eat them with you.

“Satoru, are you skipping work again?”

Your lips twitched into a soft smile.

“Just making sure you’re okay.” He pulled out a chair with a hand, his long legs stretching out. “Say aah..” he chided playfully.

“I’m not a baby...”

It was endearing yet humiliating, being taken care of by your younger brother. Your parents had often tried to keep him from you; as you were a weakness to Satoru.

“Eat.”

Satoru stares at you rather seriously, pushing the treat your way, ignoring the way your lips slightly turned downward, “You haven’t been eating.”

“Yes I have..” you tried to explain, doing a poor job at it. Crumbling under his steely gaze, you nipped at the mochi. “It’s good..” if there was anything you shared with your brother, other than blood, was a genuine love of sweets.

Satoru watched the way you ate, the subtle signs of hunger as you licked the cream off the corner of your mouth, the grateful expression as you practically swallowed the kikifuku and reached for another. Even your robe looked bigger on your form. His blue eyes raked over your hair; it’d grown longer and was in an unkempt manner.

“I don’t believe you.”

You, his beloved older sister, were a shadow of your former self. Eight years ago, you were a healthy and happily married woman. Your legs still worked and you wouldn’t collapse from a simple cold.

A mere car crash had ended the life of your husband, and health. Satoru was only nineteen when he’d heard of what happened. Your legs, crushed under the car and punctured lungs- it was a miracle you hadn’t died on the spot.

It was the most impotent he’d felt then.

“It’s just that..”

Satoru’s white brow furrowed. “What?”

Despite possessing the six eyes, he could still not see the fullness of your grief and pain. “The servants… they sometimes.. forget to bring… the meals..” you grasped the sheets, head bowed in embarrassment, feeling like a child telling on a bully. Your head snapped upwards, “..But it’s okay..! I’m sure they’re very busy and don’t mean to..-”

“They don’t care about you.” He cut off, stating it plainly. “I’m the only one who does, and I’m busy too.” Satoru wished he could have you with him at all times but it was just not possible.“I can’t be here always. You need to start taking care of yourself, [Name].”

You looked down. “I know… sorry for burdening you, Satoru.” As the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, Satoru was vital to the safety of jujutsu society which meant that people with greater need than you, required his help.

“Please focus on your job, Satoru. Don’t worry about me, I will be fine…”

“You’re not burdening me.” His hand reached forth, enveloping your wrist in his grip. “I worry because I see how weak you are.” You felt warmth creeping up your neck. “That’s rude…”

“I’m not trying to be kind.” Satoru said with a shrug. Despite his irrevocable fondness of you, he could be really blunt which often brought a certain sting to it.. being scolded by a younger sibling always chipped at the ego of an older sibling.

“I hope you don’t talk this way to everyone… how else will you make friends?”

“I don’t intend to make friends,” he responds. “My priorities are different.” Of course, Satoru had more enemies than allies to a certain point. Still, because of his responsibilities and strength, you feared that he was in this unreachable position where very few could even hope to find. He had this… wall, around his heart and it wasn’t because of his limitless.

You sighed, looking out the window. “Well, I wish I had friends..”

After the incident that left you bedridden, it was difficult to keep in contact with your friends. Not that you blame them… they insisted in coming over for months, but were harshly turned away by those at the gate so eventually they gave up. You’d occasionally text, but it was painful—seeing them all create memories in which you didn’t appear. You were a mere spectator in their lives.

“You have me.”

You know he meant that comfort you, but… “It’s different.”

“A friend can betray you any day.” Was he referring to what happened with Geto? “You’re stuck with me.” His fingers absentmindedly played with your hair and there was a moment of silence between you both.

“You know you can ask me for anything, right?”

“Huh?”

“What?” Satoru tilts his head. “I said, you can ask me for anything.” He playfully pulled on one of your strands, grinning.

You blinked before earnestly answering, “Take me outside.” You were generally forbidden from going outside because of your tendency to get ill easily. And, no one wanted to bother with you.

Satoru felt a small pang in his chest, his fists tightening. He stared at his sister’s kind smile and wanted nothing more than to make her happy. The sun would hurt her eyes and the wind would give her chills, but when she asked him with that expression, there was no way Satoru could say no.

Satoru made a big deal out of it, choosing to show you a fun time rather than let you see his frown, reveling way you whined when he shoved a sweater over your head and threw some fluffy socks on your face. “Hey-!” Once Satoru was sure you wouldn’t freeze, he squatted in front of your bed, letting you slowly hang off his back, your arms wrapping around his neck gently.

He couldn’t see your face but he imagined the expression you made after softly gasping as he carried you outside, sun warming your skin despite the small puffs of cold air coming from your mouth.

You’d spent so much time in the confines of your room, that you hadn’t even realized what season it was. Satoru took the both of you to a bench, sweeping off the snow with a hand before sitting you down.

The two of sat, side by side, staring at the garden of the Gojo estate covered in snow. You fumbled, taking off one of the mittens that Satoru had forced on you. Sticking out your palm, you grinned, watching the snowflakes falling onto your skin. Despite the cold seeping into your bones, you looked to the sky.

Satoru watches you closely, a fond expression on his face as he witnesses the innocence of your actions. He’s too aware of every delicate detail, from every hair sticking out to every rise and fall of your chest. “Do you feel cold? You’re trembling.”

“I’m fine…” frosty puffs emitted from your mouth, but the twinkle in your eye never faded despite—yes, trembling as Satoru said.

He, too, looked up. It wasn’t anything new, nothing that he appreciated except the woman next to him. “I wish I could get better…” You were tired of living in a box of a room, that kept you contained.

Your face shifted towards him. “Hey, Satoru.” He looked at you. “Let’s make a promise.”

He felt the coldness of your exposed hand on his ice-pink cheek as your pretty features twisted in a serious manner. “Let’s live long lives… the two of us.”

Satoru had a ghost of a smile, “Yeah..”

The two of you stayed there for a while, enjoying the snow and each other’s company.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Gojo, [Name]. Age 29. Deceased after a complication in the respiratory tract infection after catching a cold. (Pneumonia)

Gojo, Satoru. Age 29. Deceased after battling Sukuna, where he sustained mortal injuries. (Cut in half)

[mixsethaddams]

Robin and Nancy? Robin and Nancy.

“It was never about Steve, just so we’re clear,”

Robin paused, mouth full of soda while she processed what Nancy was trying to say.

“What…uh…Steve?” Robin stuttered, trying to catch up.

“Why I didn’t like you, at the beginning,” explained Nancy, short curls bouncing around her face while she spoke. “It was never about him. And I wanted you to know that,”

Robin carefully set her glass down on the table. The diner was quiet, tuesday nights were never busy in any part of Hawkins. Nancy toyed with the edge of a napkin, throwing a quick glance around to see if their waitress was coming back with their food any time soon.

“Ok…thank you?” ventured Robin.

“I just…” Nancy cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, still looking down at the table between them. “Since we’re…doing this now, this, us… I need to get it out there,”

Robin’s stomach leapt at the mention of them being an us despite only a handful of unofficial dates as she leaned slightly over the table, raising her eyebrows to encourage Nancy to keep talking.

“Barb Holland was my best friend,” said Nancy quickly. “She meant a lot to me,”

Robin practically felt the floor fall out from under her.

“When she went missing you…” Nancy steeled herself again. “I heard you saying things about her that were cruel and mean and… You said a lot of things,”

Robin was frozen. She got the impression this had been rehearsed in the mirror.

“So I need to know why you did that,” finished Nancy with a sharp nod. “Why you said all that,”

Nancy’s gaze finally lifted from the table and locked onto Robin’s. Robin opened her mouth but nothing came out. She thought about Barb every day, but there were some things that not even Steve knew. There were some things that were too painful to remember.

“Well?” asked Nancy, her face like stone.

Robin took in a trembling breath and leaned back into her seat.

She didn’t know what do to, what to say. Barely knew how to say it. Never mind after being put so firmly on the spot like that. Robin’s mind raced. How would Nancy react if she knew the truth? Had Barb told her anything? Obviously not, if this was the conversation they were having.

The longer Robin stayed uncharacteristically silent, contemplating her next move, the harder Nancy’s face got.

Hell, Robin didn’t even know what that next move was going to be.

Robin thought of us. Whatever came next, it had to be to protect us.

“Truth is, Nance…” Robin started, folding her arms on the table. “I thought she stood me up, and I wanted to get back at her,”

Robin hated herself for finally admitting it. Hated admitting that the reason she spent two days backbiting and badmouthing Barb, her Barb, was for something so shallow. She’d heard the cheerleaders talk before a game. She’d picked up a few things on how to make someone feel guilty. All the little one-liners to make someone stomach clench and their mood plummet. Those girls were masters of ruining someone’s day and Robin used every piece of overheard ammo she could. Robin wanted to hurt Barb like she’d hurt her. Or at least, the way Robin had thought she’d been hurt.

“You and…” Nancy’s eyes grew wide. “Oh,”

“Yeah, oh” said Robin with a sarcastic laugh. “We were supposed to go out the day after Steve’s party. Right after school we were going to catch a bus to Jackson and spent the whole night just… walking around somewhere new, I guess? We had tickets to a movie and everything, my dad drove me out the day before so I could buy them,”

“Oh… Oh Robin,” sighed Nancy, putting a hand on Robin’s arm.

“She wasn’t in school that day, and I thought well maybe she skipped?” said Robin, her voice wobbling. “She never skipped but I didn’t want to think she was sick because then that would mean cancelling, you know?”

Robin quickly swiped a tear from under her eye with the edge of her sleeve.

“But then she wasn’t at the bus station either,” said Robin softly. “I didn’t even think about going by her house, her parents didn’t know about…me… I just went home instead. I think… I think if I had have gone there, that maybe I would have found out something was wrong sooner and not said the things I did,”

Nancy’s face had softened entirely. She was looking at Robin with wet eyes, trying to keep her bottom lip from pouting out.

“You didn’t know,” whispered Nancy. “It’s ok,”

“I swear, I swear I didn’t know,” said Robin.

“I know,” promised Nancy, squeezing Robin’s arm.

Their waitress appeared and dropped their plates between them. Nancy shuffled out of her side of the booth and pushed in beside Robin, grabbing her hand under the table to subtly lace their fingers together.

“I didn’t know about the two of you,” said Nancy quietly. “She never told me,”

“We never told anyone,” answered Robin. “I wish we did. If someone knew then I wouldn’t have been able to get away with trying to… bully her when she was already…”

“Gone,” said Nancy, finishing where Robin trailed off.

“I hate myself for it every day,” said Robin, clinging to Nancy’s hand. “Every single day I think I’d do anything if it meant I could take it back, and tell people how amazing she was instead,”

“She really was pretty amazing,” agreed Nancy.

Robin took a shaky breath.

“I… I don’t know if I can say this, you know, considering this, and all,” Robin squeezed Nancy’s hand for emphasis. “But… I really miss her, Nance. I think about her a lot,”

Nancy nodded.

“I do too,” she said. “And that’s ok,”

“It is?” asked Robin tentatively. “Some days it feels like I’m under water with how bad it feels,”

“It is,” said Nancy. “I get that way too sometimes. Thinking about how I could have stopped it,”

“You couldn’t-“

“You don’t need to do that,” said Nancy gently. “Thank you, but, you don’t,”

Robin nodded solemnly.

“We have each other now,” said Nancy. “We can be there for each other when it gets too much. I’ll keep your head above water if you do the same for me,”

“That sounds like a plan,” said Robin, feeling a small sense of relief.

“Good,” said Nancy. “Come on, don’t let your food go cold,”

Robin ate one-handed, the other still hanging on to Nancy’s. Thinking about Barb still made her world turn on it’s axis, but at least now Nancy Wheeler was there to keep her steady. She suddenly wasn’t alone with it anymore. They would face it together whenever they needed to.

They had each other.

Us.

[calciumcryptid]

Post-Canon QToey Headcanons b/c I Miss Them

When his grandfather passed, Q was the one to inherit the most from him. While the rest of his family got solid payouts (and a couple of sentimental things left to Q's mother), Q inherited everything connected to his grandfather's career as a famous artist. Q's post-graduation job is getting his grandfather's galleries and art guilds up and running again.

Toey was not joking about the house/trophy husband thing (look me in my eyes and tell me house/trophy husband Toey doesn't make sense). That being said, Toey spends time as a still life artist and sculptor, and likes working at the guilds and running art workshops for local kids (with Peem and Matt as special guests).

Q and Toey leave post-it notes for each other on the bathroom mirror when they can't wake up together. Toey gets giddy every time he sees one, and Q keeps every single one.

Q has a reputation for being an intimidating no-nonsense boss (who pays well), so whenever his employees meet Toey for the first time they are always surprised then become significantly less scared of him.

In general, Q's employees know it is going to be a great day when Toey is on the premises.

Bless the heart of whatever person gets it into their head they can seduce Q away, because my demi favorite is scared and confused.

Plus, while Toey doesn't get jealous he can play the petty husband card beautifully (He learned from the best, also known as Phum).

Toey is terrifying when he is angry (it is the stark contrast), so Q vowed to never upset him.

Q continues to play the guitar after graduation, but reserves it for Toey and squad hangouts. Though sometimes Toey manages to pull him on stage at the gallery for some live music.

Their home consists of many interior design styles, but most of it is art deco and mid century. Their home studio and kitchen is industrial and rustic. That being said, they are maximalists due to their passions which very much conflicts with their chosen styles.

Q's grandfather retired to the house right next door to Peem's parents. Now Q and Toey use that house as their vacation home. The group tends to use it too when they need time away, and they have a whole calendar to try and figure out who gets to use it (minus Peem of course).

Q and Toey often head to the park together. Toey will skateboard, and Q will draw. Sometimes Q takes some action shots of Toey to draw later. He will still claim they are for anatomical reference despite a) being an abstract artist and b) being married to the man.

Q has a lot of sketches that are just Toey doing anything and everything. He hoards them like gold, and Toey teases him relentlessly.

Q, Phum, and Tan all got into a competition over who can propose first. (None of them won, Pun proposed to Chain in the dead of the night and Chain said yes and they eloped before having a proper wedding. However, Tan won out of the three, but on a technicality because Fang proposed to him.)

Q did manage to beat Phum though (not Q's fault Phum proposed every five business days and Peem could no longer tell if Phum was serious or not). Q proposed to Toey at Oh's cafe, with a ring around the milk frappe straw.

(Speaking of Oh, Q is keeping his place in business with a two-way sponsorship deal.)

QToey had a very small private ceremony.

QToey has one child, a son, who goes to study abroad in medicine. Yes, that was Toey's original plan. Yes, the group teases him about it.

Their son came home with a degree and a boyfriend with a music degree, and Q was all too happy to show off his guitar collection.

[crow2222]

i wrote darry and paul to try and stay awake

His eyelashes fluttered open as his hazy gaze rested upon me. The angry purple bruises spread throughout his face complimented his pale blue eyes; his eyebrows furrowing as his irises focused on my face.

"Paul?" Came the lone whisper from him, and despite my efforts to stay silent, I choked out a sob. My hand came up to hold his cheek in my palm, further breaking my heart as he leaned into my touch.

I wanted to ask if he knew, if he knew that this night would be his last; but I wasn't strong enough to let out the words, I was never as strong as he was.

His rumbling voice was what broke me out of my grave thoughts, "What happened?" His eyes looked heavy as he slowly scanned around the hospital room he was in, panic slowly rising in his voice.

He doesn't remember, therefore he doesn't know.

"There was an accident, Darry. Your parents, they're.. " The sudden trail off in my voice was all Darry needed to break down, his sobs racking his entire body, his face twisting up in pain as it happened.

They were simply going out to pick up a cake, his own birthday cake, but then a car went straight into them. It was Darrys twentieth birthday, having just turned twenty, will now have to stay that age until the end of time.

My hand stayed frozen on his cheek, and I could only hope that it comforted him ad much as it did to me.

His gravely voice gave out eventually, his vocal cords tired from his wails to his dad and mom. His eyes kept their flow of tears however, his head slowly shaking side to side as he refused to believe his parents death, or what I feared; his own approaching one.

The light in him was dying out; a life ending before it even started. I wanted to tell him to fight, to make it, but the look in his eyes told me he's already given up, despite the fact his brothers were waiting at home for the rest of their family to come home.

No sound came out, but I clearly saw how his cut up lips moved to say "Paul" once my hand slid away from his wet face.

All I could muster up was a shake of my head as a response, my legs tense with the need to flee. But I felt like I owed it to him to stay, so he wouldn't have to be alone when he goes.

Chairs were in the room, but by the looks of it, I wasn't going to be in there long enough for the need to sit.

Our staring match never ended, even as his eyelids seemed too much for him to keep open. They were half lidded when his vigorous shaking calmed down, and that's when my body decided to snap out of it and reach for his hand.

I was too late, it was all over;

and Darrel Curtis would never know how much I loved him.

My head hovered above his, droplets of my tears sliding down his stone cold face as I fought the urge to kiss him; it'd be like a tale of kissing the princess, bringing her back to life.

But what lay before him wasn't Darry anymore, just the body that held his spirit.

My fingers grasped desperately as his limp ones, a small hope in me that they'd suddenly hold mine back and everything would be fine.

"Paul?" His voice reminded me of Darrys, before he hit puberty and his voice deepened to the way I liked it. My eyes met Pony's horrified ones, my hands instantly leaving Darrys.

The long beep filled in our awkward silence, and just as I was about to wonder onto how no nurse had come on yet; One did.

She shooed us both out of the room as others filled into the room, leaving me and Darrys baby brother in the hallway.

He already knew, and if I were to guess, their other brother was still crying for his mommy and daddy to come back.

I couldn't bear it any longer, and my feet finally did what my mind has been yelling at them to do for ages; run.

I ran out of the hall, I ran down the stairs, and I ran out of the hospital.

And I kept on running, hoping that eventually,

I was far enough to forget Darry.

[illumins]

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙏𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚: Don't Throw A Book At Your Crush.

Physical pain is a curious thing; it's like a thick fog that rolls in, smothering all other worries. Even my concern for Mark becomes muted under the dull throb of the bruise on my cheek. By the time we get back to our small townhouse in Graystone—a quiet, unassuming city that rarely ever sees the kind of chaos that unfolded today—I'm almost grateful for the distraction the pain provides.

As soon as the door shuts behind us, my dad launches into a barrage of questions. "Liya, what were you thinking running back inside like that?" His voice pitches with every query, a crescendo of concern that fills the cramped living room. "How did you get this bruise? And really, are you—," he pauses, searching for the right words, "—are you sure you're okay, not just physically but...?" His question about my sanity hangs between us, an unfinished bridge.

I shrug off his last question with a half-smile, trying to ease his worry. "I'm okay, Dad, really."

He nods, though his eyes say he's far from convinced. Running a hand through his already disheveled hair—a trait I've inherited—he continues, "Well, the parents from Daylight Academy were informed there'd be two days off school because of the accident."

That's his subtle way of saying I'm grounded without using the word. He knows I understand, but he softens the decree by adding, "How about we order from Pizza Paradise? Extra cheese, your favorite." Pizza Paradise is our go-to on nights when cooking feels like a chore too cumbersome to undertake. It's a small, local spot that claims their secret sauce recipe came straight from an Italian nonna—unlikely, but it's delicious enough that we've never bothered to doubt it.

Despite the casual suggestion, I know it’s his way of making sure I don't run off if I feel the urge. Any other teenager might bristle at such overt surveillance, but this is Dad, and his actions stem more from fear than anger at my recklessness. After losing Mom, it's just been the two of us, navigating our grief and now this new, unexpected threat.

I nod, sinking into our old, worn couch that's as much a patchwork of history as we are—a collection of moments stitched together, fraying at the edges but still holding. "Sounds perfect," I reply, letting the familiarity of the routine soothe the both of us.

Our townhouse is small, the rooms a little too lived-in, cluttered with memories that crowd the shelves and walls. Photos of Mom smile down at us from frames that line the mantelpiece, her eyes following us with a quiet permanence. The coffee table is a battlefield of old magazines, school books, and several remotes that never seem to control the devices they're supposed to. It's a comfortable chaos, one that wraps around you like a well-worn blanket.

As Dad dials the number for Pizza Paradise, I tuck my legs under me and glance around the living room. The green wallpaper, chosen by Mom because it reminded her of the springtime parks she loved, peels at the corners, slightly showing the worn out beige beneath it. Outside, the sun begins to set, casting long shadows that creep across the floor, dark tendrils that stretch like fingers.

As the room darkens with the fading light, the shadows from the setting sun stretch longer across the floor, like dark rivers flooding the plains of our worn carpet. I'm chewing gum, staring blankly at the TV that's playing a rerun of some sitcom we used to watch together, but I'm not laughing. Not tonight. My mind wanders, tracing the paths of what could have happened today. I keep coming back to Mark—was he safe? How had Spiderman managed to reach him amid the chaos?

"Dad's talking, Liya." His voice breaks through my reverie, more gentle than reproachful."Dad's talking, Liya." His voice breaks through my reverie, more gentle than reproachful.

"Huh?" I startle, snapping back to the room filled with the musty scent of old books and faintly, the citrus of our used-up air freshener.

"College, honey. Have you given it any more thought?" Dad's eyes are kind, the crinkles at their corners deepening with his concern.

College. Right. I press my lips together, feeling the weight of the question like the textbooks on our cluttered coffee table. "I... haven't decided yet," I admit, the words tasting of uncertainty and the mint gum I've been chewing on too long.

He opens his mouth, probably to offer reassurance or maybe to encourage me to think about futures I'm too preoccupied to imagine right now, but the sharp ring of the doorbell cuts him off.

"I'll get it," I say quickly, a little too eagerly, seizing the chance to escape from the conversation. Rising from the couch, I cross the room, each step a deliberate delay of the inevitable discussion. As I pull open the door, the cool evening air brushes against my face, bringing a momentary relief. The pizza delivery guy hands over the warm boxes, and just like that, the normalcy of a family dinner snaps back into place, leaving my concerns about Mark lingering silently between the shadows and the fading light.

I lay sprawled across the couch, too stuffed to move, with an ice pack numbing my cheek—a battle scar from earlier when I got a little too animated telling Dad about Mark's impossible escapes. Dad's already lost to sleep, his snores a soft echo in the dimly lit living room where the glow of the TV flickers, casting ghostly light across his relaxed features.

We're halfway through some action movie that Dad picked, more explosions than plot, and my mind's only half on the screen. The rest is upstairs, in that unspoken worry about noises that shouldn't be there.

Then, it comes—a thud from upstairs. My heart skips. Not the movie. Not Dad. I sit up, listening harder. Another thump, like something—or someone—had bumped against a wall. Dad doesn't stir; just another log added to his symphony of snuffles and murmurs.

Carefully, I set the ice pack down on the coffee table, right beside the greasy remains of our pepperoni pizza, the cardboard box stained with oil spots. The cool metal of the pack clinks lightly against the wood, a small, crisp sound in the otherwise muffled room.

I rise, my movements slow, fluid, trying not to disturb the precarious peace of Dad's slumber. As I pass by our cluttered bookshelf, my fingers brush against the spines of hardcovers and paperbacks jammed too tightly together. I hesitate, then snatch up a heavy, hardbound copy of Sherlock Holmes—more weapon than literature in this moment.

Each step on the stairs creaks under my weight, a reluctant betrayal as I make my way up. My breath feels too loud in my ears, my heart a drumbeat I'm certain could wake Dad. But he sleeps on, oblivious and out of reach.

At the top of the stairs, the hallway stretches out, dimly lit by the nightlight plugged in near the bathroom. Three doors: Mom and Dad's room, mine, and the bathroom between them. The thuds had stopped, replaced now by a stifling silence, the kind that presses in on your ears when you strain to hear anything at all.

I grip the book tighter, feeling the edges bite into my palm, and I inch toward my door, each breath a ragged whisper. The door is ajar—had I left it like that? My mind races, but I can't remember.

The floorboard just outside my room groans under my tentative step, and I freeze, every nerve ending screaming alert. I wait, one, two, three heartbeats. Nothing more. Slowly, I push the door, the hinges whimpering softly. The familiar mess of my room comes into view—the posters on the walls, the pile of clothes on a chair, the window slightly open, curtains fluttering like a soft breath.

My heart stutters as the curtains flutter, teasing glimpses of a figure too familiar and yet impossibly real perched right outside my window. Spider-Man. Right here. It’s like seeing a myth in motion, but before rational thought can take hold, my nerves do—a silly, knee-jerk reaction. My grip on the Sherlock Holmes book tightens, and without a thought, it’s sailing through the air towards him.

He turns, an almost lazy, fluid motion, and catches the book with an ease that defies gravity and reason. The moment stretches out, my breath caught somewhere between my throat and the surprise that has me frozen in place.

I slap both hands over my mouth, my eyes wide. Embarrassment heats my cheeks more than any slap could. I’m mortified, standing there gawking at him through the gap in the window, my makeshift weapon now in his hands. The room feels smaller somehow, or maybe I just wish I could shrink away from the absurdity of my own actions.

Spider-Man seems to hesitate, then, with a sheepish raise of his hand, he mirrors an apology. His movements are awkward, almost human beneath the mask. He steps closer to the window, the soft thud of his boots on the ledge a stark contrast to the silent tension. He extends the book back to me, his gesture careful, almost respectful of the bizarre sanctity of this moment.

I lower my hands slowly, brushing back strands of loose hair that’d escaped. Leaning against the window frame, I manage a shaky laugh, my voice a whisper of sound that barely carries. "I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—just scared, you know?"

He nods, the motion sharp against the backdrop of my fluttering curtains. "It’s okay. Really." His voice is muffled by the mask, but the warmth is there, an unexpected comfort.

I reach out, taking the book back, my fingers brushing against his. For a moment, the world doesn’t extend beyond this strange, shared space between a hero and a girl too quick to throw her literature.

"Thanks," I murmur, words lost to the wind as he backs away with another awkward wave, disappearing the way only a hero can. I’m left there, leaning on the sill, the night air cool against my flushed face, and no words to describe the surreal heartbeat of this night.

I shuffle aside, making room, a silent invitation hanging between us. He only shakes his head, his posture relaxed as he settles onto the edge of my window, one leg casually swinging inside my room. The book in my hand feels suddenly pointless, so I toss it onto my bed, the thud it makes oddly satisfying against the silence.

I just watch him for a moment, the surreal nature of Spider-Man sitting in my window making my thoughts scatter like marbles on a tilted floor. What do you even say to a superhero? Especially when your first instinct had been to throw a book at him. My mind races through a dozen started sentences, none of them feeling right.

Thankfully, he breaks the silence first, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. His voice is calm, almost casual. "Mark got home safe, by the way."

The relief that washes over me is immediate and overwhelming, loosening the tight knot of worry that had been lodged in my chest since the afternoon. "Oh, thank God," I breathe out, leaning a little closer, as if drawn by the gravity of his words. "I've been so worried. How did you...?" My voice trails off, curiosity piqued but unsure how to phrase the million questions I have.

He just gives a small, knowing smile, the kind that tells me he's used to the awe and the inquiries but still finds them mildly amusing. "It’s all in a day’s work, really."

As I step closer, the lamppost outside throws a harsh glare around him, framing him like some sort of celestial being caught in a mundane world. I extend my hand out—half-wanting to check if he's as real as he seems, half-regretting how awkward it feels to shake hands with a superhero. But he grasps it firmly, and the reality of his grip brings a sense of solidity to the moment.

"Thank you," I manage to say, my voice steadier than I feel.

He nods, and there's a brief, comfortable silence as he releases my hand. Then, his head tilts slightly, and I feel the weight of his gaze, even behind the mask. "Does it hurt?" he asks, his voice laced with a concern that seems too genuine for someone who deals with far bigger problems than a bruised cheek.

"What?" I blink, confused for a second, then my hand flies to my face, touching the tender skin of my right cheek where the ice had numbed the pain. The coolness has faded, leaving a dull throb in its place. "Oh, um, it's bearable," I admit, trying to downplay the discomfort. "Nothing that time can’t heal."

He nods again, understanding, or at least pretending to. There’s a quiet acknowledgment in his posture, a readiness to listen that makes the room—the whole world—feel safer, just for a moment.

He points at my cheek, his gesture a little clumsy. "Still, I'm sorry about that."

I wave it off, trying to ease the weight of the moment. "It's not a big deal, really. I'm just glad you were there to stop those desks from hitting me. That would’ve been a lot worse."

We fall into an easy rhythm of conversation, the tension unspooling slightly with each shared word. But then, a thought hits me, sudden and sharp. "Wait," I interrupt, squinting slightly in suspicion. "How did you even know where I live?"

He hesitates, his body language shifting, the confidence slipping for a moment. "Uh, I have my ways. It's part of the job, you know, making sure everyone’s safe," he stammers, clearly caught off guard by the question.

I raise an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth. "So, you’re a stalker?"

He jumps up to his full height on the windowsill, defensive but playful. "No, no, it’s not like that!"

I can't help but laugh, the sound bubbling up freely. He seems so much like a regular guy sometimes, maybe even someone who could be in my class, not just the superhero from the news. "Okay, okay, I believe you. But seriously, why come here now?"

He settles back down, though he stays perched on the edge of the sill. "I just wanted to check on you, make sure that bruise was the worst of it," he admits, his tone earnest.

We fall into a quiet kind of silence, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. I nod, still a bit dazed by his reason for showing up. It's strange, thinking a superhero would take the time to check on someone like me. I mean, what does a day in the life of a superhero even look like? But I shrug off the wonder of it all, figuring it’s just one of those things I’ll never fully understand.

Minutes tick by, the only sound is the distant hum of the city and the occasional car passing below. Then he breaks the silence again, his voice serious this time. "You shouldn't have run into the building, though. It was reckless." He pauses, glancing at me with a hint of admiration. "But brave."

I roll my eyes but can't suppress a smile. "Yeah, I know. Probably wasn't the smartest move." I agree, thinking back to the chaos of today, the heat of the moment pushing me forward.

He looks over his shoulder suddenly, as if hearing something I can’t, his body tensing like he’s ready to spring into action. "I have to go," he says, and there’s a slight urgency in his tone now.

"Yeah," I respond, feeling a twinge of disappointment as I step back to give him space. I watch him swing out of my window, graceful and almost otherworldly. His figure cuts through the cool night air, and within moments, he's just a fleeting shadow against the city lights, disappearing into the fabric of the night.

I wake up to the muted light of an overcast Tuesday, the kind of day where the sky seems to weigh heavy, pressing down on the world below. School has been canceled since the accident, a relief and a curse all at once. My father, ever practical, decides that today will not be wasted. He leaves a list of errands for me on the kitchen counter, a mix of mundane tasks meant to keep me occupied and out of trouble.

Standing there, I lean out just a bit, catching the last glimpse of him, the echo of our conversation lingering in the now silent room. I pull back, the window frame cold against my hands, and I can't help but feel a mix of awe and a tiny sting of loneliness as I slide the window shut.

-

The first task is to pick up groceries from the local market. I pull on my favorite hoodie, its soft fabric a comfort against the lingering chill in the air. As I step outside, the city hums around me, a symphony of distant engines, murmuring voices, and the occasional blare of a horn. I make my way down the sidewalk, my sneakers slapping against the damp concrete. The air smells faintly of rain, a promise of showers to come later.

The market is bustling with activity, despite the somber mood that seems to hang over the city. Inside, the aisles are a flurry of movement, people darting around, filling their carts with the essentials. I navigate through the crowd, methodically checking off items from my father's list. Apples, milk, bread, a box of his favorite cereal. Each item is a small victory, a piece of normalcy in an otherwise disrupted week.

My next stop is the dry cleaner's. The bell above the door jingles as I enter, the familiar scent of starch and fabric softener hitting my nose. Mr. Lee, the elderly owner, greets me with a nod, his glasses perched precariously on the tip of his nose. We exchange a few words about the weather and the state of the neighborhood, his voice carrying the weight of years spent in the same place, witnessing the ebb and flow of life around him. I hand over the ticket, and he disappears into the back, emerging moments later with my father's freshly pressed suits. The hangers clink softly together as I take them, the fabric cool and smooth under my fingers.

My errands continue in a steady rhythm. I stop by the post office to mail a letter, the sterile smell of paper and ink filling the small space. The clerk behind the counter barely looks up as I slide the envelope through the slot. Outside, the clouds have grown darker, the threat of rain more imminent. I quicken my pace, eager to finish my tasks before the skies open up.

As I turn the corner onto my street, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out to see a message from my father. "Let's watch a movie tonight. How about 'Starship Dreams'?" The thought of a quiet evening in, lost in the escapism of a film, brings a smile to my face. But the message doesn’t end there. "Could you pick up some sweets from Sweet Haven on your way back?"

Sweet Haven is a small, family-owned candy store a few blocks from our apartment. Its pastel-painted facade stands out against the drab gray of the surrounding buildings, a cheerful beacon on a dreary day. As I push open the door, a tiny bell rings, announcing my arrival. The interior is a whimsical explosion of color and sugary scents, jars of candies lining the shelves, each one more enticing than the last.

I take my time, wandering through the store, the wooden floorboards creaking softly underfoot. My eyes linger on the vibrant displays of gummies, chocolates, and caramels, each piece a work of art. The shopkeeper, a kind woman with a warm smile, offers me a sample of their latest creation, a piece of lavender-infused white chocolate. It melts on my tongue, a delicate blend of flavors that leaves me wanting more.

As I approach the checkout counter, my eyes are still dancing with the vibrant colors and sugary delights surrounding me. The assortment of candies I’ve chosen feels like a small treasure trove, each piece a promise of sweet escapism. I place the bag on the counter, and the shopkeeper rings up my purchase with the same warm smile she greeted me with. Her hands move deftly, wrapping each item with care, as if each candy were a precious gem.

Just as I’m about to leave Sweet Haven, I catch a glimpse of something through the large front window. Across the street, bathed in the soft glow of fairy lights, is my favorite bookstore, "The Literary Nook." Its warm, inviting light spills out onto the sidewalk, creating a cozy oasis amidst the gray cityscape. The fairy lights twinkle like stars, framing the large windows that offer a peek into a world of books and stories.

I hesitate, clutching the bag of candy. My father's errands are still on my mind, and I know he wouldn't be pleased if I took too long. He’s been more protective since the accident, his concern often feeling like a heavy, unspoken presence between us. But as I gaze at the bookstore, the thought of exploring its shelves, finding a new escape within its walls, is too tempting to resist.

"He’s not upset," I remind myself, "just worried." The distinction feels important. I take a deep breath, convincing myself that a quick visit wouldn’t hurt. He probably won’t even notice if I take a few extra minutes. With that thought in mind, I step out of Sweet Haven and make my way across the street, the rain a gentle drizzle now, barely more than a mist.

The Literary Nook is even more enchanting up close. The smell of old paper and ink greets me as I push open the door, the little bell above jingling softly. Inside, it’s a labyrinth of wooden shelves, each one overflowing with books. Comfortable chairs are scattered throughout, inviting customers to sit and lose themselves in a story. The soft light from the fairy lights, combined with the warm glow of table lamps, creates a magical, almost ethereal atmosphere.

I wander through the aisles, each step on the creaky wooden floorboards echoing softly in the quiet space. The sense of peace here is profound, the outside world slipping away with each passing second. I make my way towards the manga section, my heart quickening with anticipation. The shelves are well-stocked, each title a doorway to another world. As my fingers brush against the spines of the books, I spot it – the latest volume of my favorite series, "Celestial Warriors."

My breath catches in my throat as I reach for it, the cover art vibrant and dynamic, promising new adventures within its pages. I flip it open, the familiar characters and storylines drawing me in instantly. The excitement bubbles up inside me, a giddy thrill that makes me forget everything else for a moment.

Just then, a voice behind me says, "I love that series too." It’s a voice I know well, one that I’ve heard in both quiet moments and chaotic ones. I turn around, my heart pounding, and there he is – Mark. His face is slightly bruised, a reminder of recent events, but his eyes are bright and warm. He’s wearing a dark hoodie, the hood pushed back to reveal his tousled hair, and jeans that are just a bit too long, the cuffs frayed from dragging on the ground. He looks both rugged and approachable, his presence a mix of strength and softness.

I nod at Mark, my throat suddenly dry. The only words that manage to escape my lips are, "You're alive." As soon as I say them, I mentally slap myself. What a stupid thing to say. It sounds as if I’m surprised he survived, and maybe I am, but not in a way that sounds good out loud. His brow furrows in confusion, but he nods, his expression softening as he processes my awkward statement.

Desperately trying to salvage the situation, I stammer, "I mean, I’m happy you’re alive." My cheeks burn with embarrassment, and I want to disappear into the pages of the book in my hands.

Mark’s smile returns, and he chuckles softly. "I’m happy I’m alive too," he replies, his tone light and teasing. The tension in my chest loosens just a little, but then he continues, "Jaemin told me you ran inside the school looking for me."

Before he can finish his sentence, the wave of embarrassment crashes over me again, and without thinking, I thrust the manga volume at him. "Here, have it!" I blurt out, the words tumbling out in a rush. He catches the book easily, his reflexes quick despite the surprise.

I curse myself silently, feeling the heat rise in my face. Not only had I revealed my weird crush on him in the most awkward way possible, but now I had literally thrown a book at him. My heart pounds in my chest, a mix of mortification and panic, and I can’t bear to look him in the eye.

Mark looks at the manga in his hands, then back at me, a mixture of amusement and confusion on his face. I can’t read his thoughts, but I’m certain he’s thinking how strange and awkward I am. The realization is like a punch to the gut, and I know I have to get out of here before I make things even worse.

Turning abruptly, I avoid his gaze and make a beeline for the back of the store. The Literary Nook has a little area in the back, an alleyway transformed into a cozy nook with benches and fairy lights, perfect for reading on pleasant days. It’s my only escape route now.

The narrow pathway between the shelves feels like a gauntlet, each step echoing my frantic thoughts. I can feel Mark’s eyes on me, but I don’t dare look back. My feet carry me swiftly to the back door, my pulse racing in my ears. As I push open the door, the cool air hits my face, a welcome contrast to the heat of my embarrassment.

The alley is quiet, the fairy lights casting a gentle glow on the rustic benches and potted plants. It’s a haven of calm, but my heart is still hammering. I sink onto one of the benches, trying to steady my breathing, my mind replaying the scene over and over. I bury my face in my hands, wishing I could rewind time and erase the past few minutes.

I sit there, my face buried in my hands, the cool air mingling with the warmth of my embarrassment. The alley is usually a refuge, but now it feels like a spotlight, highlighting my awkwardness in painful detail. I replay the scene in my mind, each moment more cringe-worthy than the last. The gentle patter of rain starts, a soft drizzle that I barely notice through the fog of my emotions.

Then I hear the door creak open behind me, and my heart skips a beat. I don’t need to look to know it’s Mark. I feel a mix of dread and anticipation as his footsteps approach, each one louder in the silence of the alley. I can’t fathom why he would follow me, what he could possibly say after my clumsy exit.

He stops in front of me, and I look up, my eyes meeting his. There’s no judgment in his gaze, only concern. He reaches past my head, and I flinch slightly, unsure of his intention. But then I feel the gentle tug as he pulls the hood of my hoodie over my head, shielding me from the rain. It’s only then that I realize my hair and shoulders are damp, the cool droplets mingling with the heat of my flushed cheeks.

Mark's gesture is so simple, yet so unexpectedly kind, that it leaves me momentarily speechless. He steps back, and his mouth moves, words spilling out, but they don’t register. I’m still reeling from the sudden shift, from the awkwardness of moments ago to this quiet, almost tender interaction. My mind struggles to catch up, to process the fact that he’s here, that he cares enough to follow me.

He pauses, his brow furrowing slightly, and I snap back to reality. "What?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper, laced with the remnants of my earlier panic. It’s the only word I can manage, the only thing that breaks through the haze of my thoughts.

Mark repeats himself, his voice patient and calm, "I said, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay." There’s genuine concern in his tone, a softness that catches me off guard. He sits on the bench next to me, keeping a respectful distance, but close enough that I can feel his presence, solid and reassuring.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. The rain continues its gentle descent, the fairy lights casting a warm glow on the scene, turning the alley into a surreal, almost dreamlike space. It feels like we’re in a world apart, a moment suspended in time.

"I’m okay," I finally manage to say, though my voice is still shaky. "I just... I didn’t know what to say back there. I’m sorry for throwing the book at you."

Mark laughs softly, the sound a soothing balm to my frazzled nerves. "Don’t worry about it," he says, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I’ve had worse things thrown at me. And besides, it’s a good book. I’m glad we both like it."

His words ease some of the tension in my chest, and I find myself smiling, the knot of embarrassment slowly unwinding. The rain continues to fall, a steady rhythm that seems to mirror the calming of my thoughts. We sit there in silence for a moment, the city’s distant hum a backdrop to our quiet conversation.

The silence between us is comfortable, filled with the soft sounds of rain and the distant hum of the city. I find myself relaxing, the earlier embarrassment fading away, replaced by a sense of calm. Mark’s presence is unexpectedly reassuring, his laughter still echoing softly in my mind.

Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket, startling me. I pull it out and see a message from my dad. My heart sinks as I read the text: "Where are you? Everything okay?" I glance at the time and realize I’ve been gone longer than I intended.

"Shoot," I mutter under my breath, the knot of anxiety returning. I quickly type a reply, "I’m fine, just got caught up at the bookstore. Heading home now." I hit send and tuck my phone away, feeling the weight of responsibility settle back on my shoulders.

"I have to go," I say to Mark, my voice tinged with regret. Standing up, I fumble for the right words, trying to make my exit without seeming too abrupt. "Thanks for, um, coming after me. And for the hood," I add, tugging it slightly to emphasize my point.

As I turn to leave, Mark’s voice stops me in my tracks. "Liya," he says, and the sound of my name from his lips catches me off guard. It’s the first time I’ve heard him say it, and the way he says it makes my heart skip a beat. I try to keep my composure, not wanting to appear too flustered.

"Yeah?" I respond, my voice a little higher than I intended.

He smiles, a warm, genuine smile that makes my chest feel lighter. "Take care, okay? See you around."

I nod, not trusting myself to say anything coherent. "You too," I manage to mumble, before turning and heading toward the exit of the alley. My feet move quickly, the rain now a gentle mist around me. I can feel his eyes on my back as I walk away, and I force myself not to look back, even though every part of me wants to.

The alley leads me back to the main street, where the city seems to have taken on a softer, quieter tone under the blanket of rain. My mind is a whirl of thoughts and emotions, replaying the scene in the alley over and over. I replay the way Mark said my name, the kindness in his eyes, the unexpected ease of our conversation.

As I walk, I can’t help but smile, despite the lingering embarrassment. Maybe I’ll speak to him again at school, maybe not. But for now, I focus on getting home, my father’s message a reminder of the world outside this small, magical moment.

[lucy90712]

Home- Jude Bellingham

WC: 2.8k (this is a longer one)

For most home is the place they go back to every night where they feel safe but for me it is something that has evolved as I've gotten older. When I was young I always thought of home as the house I lived in with my parents but then I grew up slightly and we moved house a few times and I realised that the building I was in didn't matter it was being with my parents so they became my sense of security. Now everything has changed again as I have well and truly moved away from home and to another country and where I feel safe is with my best friend he's the one that provides me with that feeling of being home and being secure.

I met Jude when I was about 5 as my family moved down the same road as his and we have been friends ever since. As kids we always used to play with each other whenever we saw each other at the park or when our parents spent time together. Naturally there was a period of time where we drifted apart and didn't really talk at all as we found other friends but in our later teen years we became so much closer again as he was there to support me through a tough time in my life. When Jude moved away to go and play football I was so incredibly proud of him but I missed him so much when he was away but we talked pretty much every day and whenever he came back home we spent loads of time together.

After spending a year and a bit separated from each other it was time for me to to go university and although I had offers from unis across the country I also applied to a few in other countries that had a good course for that I want to do and I happened to get an offer with a full scholarship to somewhere in Germany. It was like it was meant to be as the uni was in the city that Jude lives in as well so I accepted the place right away. When I moved out there I stayed with Jude for a few days until I was able to move into my apartment and from those few days onwards we have been truly inseparable. We have seen each other nearly everyday since with the exception of days when Jude had to travel to other countries for games which meant spending a lot of time together but we both loved that as we are the definition of best friends.

Recently my friends have been trying to convince me that Jude and I would be a great couple but I always tell them we are just great friends and nothing more but that doesn't stop them talking about it when they think I can't hear. They are always pointing out how much time we spend together and how we supposedly look at each other, I've even heard them call the two of us endgame despite me having a boyfriend. It's not just my friends either I've heard Jude's teammates saying that the two of us would be the perfect couple and making bets on when we will get together, not if when. Whenever anyone talks about Jude and I being a good couple I always shut it down immediately because I don't like to think about it as whenever I do I end up in a dream world where we aren't just friends.

Truthfully I have had feelings for Jude for a few years now it I fight to keep them away because I just can't lose him. There are many nights that I lay awake fantasying about what life would be like if Jude and I were dating but then I remember just how important he is to me and I know I can never say anything. Jude is everything to me he's the one I go to when I'm feeling down and he's the one I celebrate with first when something exciting happens without him I'd be a mess and seemingly all alone. There is no way I could risk telling him and having that ruin our friendship which is why I'm choosing to try and get over my feelings without anyone ever knowing. This is exactly why when I met a nice guy who treated me well I ended up dating him as I needed someone else to focus my attention on and for the most part it works pretty well. There are occasions when I think about Jude but for the most part I'm really happy with my boyfriend and I feel like slowly I can move on from Jude and live my own life happily.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now which is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Recently it's felt like we are getting a bit more serious too which scared me at first but I've now come to terms with the fact that at some point this was going to happen and I need to let myself let go of my feelings for Jude. As we are now completely comfortable with each other I gave my boyfriend a key to my apartment so that when I have late classes he can let himself in so we can spend time together when I get home which since has become a bit of a routine. Today is one of those days where I was supposed to have a late class but we were able to finish an hour earlier as we had nothing else left to cover. As I was early I decided to get some dinner on my way home for the two of us to eat as I thought that would be a nice surprise along with me finishing earlier.

When I finally got to my apartment the door was unlocked which meant someone was already there as I definitely locked the door this morning. As I went inside it was completely quiet and none of the lights were on despite it starting to get dark outside which made me question if I did actually lock the door. Out of fear I grabbed my phone so I could call the police if necessary but as I did I noticed a text from my boyfriend telling me he was at my apartment which somehow made my anxiety worse. I quickly walked around the living room and kitchen before going to look behind all of the closed doors. First was my office but that was empty then came the bathroom but I didn't need to open that door as when I stood outside I could hear moaning coming from further down the hallway which meant it was coming from my bedroom. I didn't want to assume the worst but I couldn't help it so out of pure rage I stomped down the hallway and flung to door open to reveal possibly the worst sight I've even seen. My boyfriend in my bed with another girl.

I'm not sure what came over me but I yelled at both of them kicking them out of my apartment and ending things with my so called boyfriend straight away. I made sure to get my key back too as quite frankly I never want to see that man again. Once they were gone realisation hit me like a ton of bricks and nothing could be done to stop the tears flooding down my face as I questioned how long this had been going on for and how stupid had I been to not notice something was up. So many thoughts were swirling around my mind as I took the sheets off my bed and threw them in the wash as if I ever want to be able to sleep in that bed again I at least need to wash the sheets but honestly that didn't help. Being in my apartment just made me feel worse as I looked at every counter in the kitchen and bathroom and the sofa wondering if they had been tainted too. It was all too much and I needed to get out of there for a bit and the only place I wanted to go is to Jude's as he always knows what to do.

Despite having tears in my eyes I managed to drive to Jude's as I know the route like the back of my hand by now. When I got to the door I rang the doorbell and then just walked in as at this time Jude would know it could only be me. As I took my shoes off and tried to wipe the tears from my face I heard footsteps getting closer until I heard him say hello which instantly brought be comfort as I know he will be here for me for as long as I need to rant about what just happened. When I looked up at him he saw my face which I imagine is puffy and red with streaks of mascara down it and without saying a word he pulled me into a tight hug where I could let my emotions go. Just like every other time Jude has comforted me when I'm upset he picked me up and walked to the sofa where he sat me in his lap and gently rubbed my back to help calm me down.

"Whenever you're ready you can tell me what's wrong" he said

"He cheated on me" I said

"What?" He questioned

"I finished early and when I got home I couldn't find him even though he said he was there and then I heard moaning coming from my bedroom and there he was fucking some random girl in my bed" I ranted

"What an asshole you deserve so much better than someone who would even think of doing that" he said

"How about you stay here tonight and tomorrow we can go together to get you a new bed as you don't want to be sleeping in your current one" he said

"That sounds good but you don't have to come with me" I said

"Well I'm coming whether you like it or not" he laughed trying to lighten the mood

"Thank you Jude I really appreciate you being here for me" I said

"Of course I'll always be here for you" he said

He wiped the tears off my face before moving me off his lap and running off to the bathroom and he came back with makeup remover which he used to take all of my makeup off. He gently rubbed my face to get all of my makeup off with the cutest concentration face as he had his tongue sticking out slightly and his eyebrows furrowed as he made sure to get all of the makeup off. Once he was done he went off again but this time when he came back he had food with him as he had guessed I hadn't eaten which was true as I'd left my food on the counter at home. We turned on our favourite show which we have watched a million times but I could watch it a million more as it always cheers me up especially when I actually get to watch it with Jude.

For the next few hours Jude was just being so sweet he ordered ice cream for the both of us even though he's not supposed to eat it as he knows I like to drown my sorrows in ice cream. He also made sure I was comfortable and cozy under a blanket as he held me close to him for extra comfort. It was just like the old times before I got together with my boyfriend as we often used to have late nights together spent like this and honestly I've really missed them I've missed having Jude so close to me. As we watched the tv Jude innocently moved his arm from being around my shoulder to around my waist which I didn't mind but it sent my head spinning. For the first time in a few months I felt all my feelings for Jude come flooding back the the forefront of my mind. I'd been doing really well at burying them and moving on but after everything that happened tonight having Jude put his arm around my waist sent me spiralling again.

This whole situation is so overwhelming as I don't think at this point I'll ever truly get over my feelings for Jude but I don't feel like I can tell him. Jude means so much to me that if I told him and he didn't feel the same way I would be a mess and not just because he rejected me but because I'd have lost my best friend. There is also a problem as even if he did feel the same and we ended up dating if things didn't work out I'd still lose him. It's all just so much to think about and even though I've thought about it a million times I have still never come up with a resolution that makes me truly happy. There are times I think about just taking the leap of faith and telling him how I feel but I always talk myself out of it before I can get the words out. For me it's a big decision whether or not I want to possibly ruin a lifelong friendship over some stupid feelings or not which is why I'm often thinking about it.

"What are you thinking about?" Jude asked which brought me out of my spiral

"Oh nothing" I replied

"Come on just tell me you know you can tell me anything" he said

"Not this" I whispered under my breath

"Why can't you tell me this what secrets are you keeping from me?" He asked jokingly

In that split second I had a decision to make I either tell him how I feel and hope for the best or come up with another lie which I have to keep up with. At this point I have so many lies or stories I've told when I've chickened out of telling Jude how I feel that I've had to write them down so I can refer back to them when necessary. I feel like I need to stop being so afraid and just go for it, take a risk and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

"I have feelings for you" I blurted out

"What" he questioned

"I have feelings for you Jude and I have for years and I just can't live without telling you anymore" I said

"I know it's a lot to spring on you and I get if you don't want to be friends anymore I just couldn't keep my feelings hidden any longer" I rambled

"I have feelings for you too" Jude interrupted me

"Wait you do" I said

"Yeah I mean how could I not you're so beautiful and such a kind person I just never thought you would feel the same so I never said anything" he explained

I didn't really know how to respond as I honestly didn't think he'd feel to same so it took me by surprise. Knowing Jude felt the same way gave me a boost in confidence so instead of saying anything I just leant in and kissed him. Despite being friends for years and playing many games of truth or dare Jude and I have never kissed before so this was completely new for us both. It took Jude a second to realise what was happening but when he did he kissed me right back and even put a hand behind my neck to pull me in closer. The kiss was amazing it was even better than I imagined it would be which is truly something as I have thought about this moment a lot. It was as if time came to a stand still as we seemed to be kissing forever but when we finally pulled apart it had only been a few minutes.

We looked into each others eyes once we stopped kissing and Jude gently swept a piece of my hair behind my ear before then leaving his hand on my cheek. I could've stayed like that forever but sadly that can't happen as we both have lives to live and we also need to talk about what we are now as we can't stay just friends after that.

"What are we now?" I asked

"I'd love for you to be my girlfriend but I know you just broke up with your boyfriend so we can go slowly if that's what you want" Jude said

"I'd love to be your girlfriend but promise me that if things don't work out we can still try and be friends" I said

"Of course my love I couldn't bare not having you in my life in some way" he said

"So will you be my girlfriend?" He asked

"Of course I will" I replied