#going from riding my bike all around town to staying indoors everyday

[disagigglebilities]

Ah man. I think I figured out what triggered my me/CFS. It was probably when I got h1n1 as a kid and was nearly hospitalized for a high fever. Which means I've had this longer than I thought. As in, it's been 15 years of this nonsense.

[stenbrozier]

Modern Losers’ Club Headcanons

Plot: Individual headcanons of the modern Loser’ about different things they’d do and love (mostly during high school)

Warnings: slight Reddie, shit ton of Stenburough, drug use + mentions of sex + swearing

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Bill Denbrough:

~ He’s the artist, everyone knew that.

~Typical art kid who won all the awards and participated in every art class his school offered.

~ He just didn’t take choir or band because we know this boy has no musical abilities at all.

~ Bill would save up all his allowance and holiday money so that he could buy that really good drawing app that he could use on his IPad.

~ After he got it, there was no way to get him to look up at you for more than ten seconds. He would fall in love with digital art.

~ Remember he took all of the art classes? Well, creative writing and poetry we’re considered arts at Derry High School, so that’s where he fell in love with writing.

~ Suprisingly, he would be really into heavy metal. Bands like Bring Me the Horizon and Of Mice and Men would blare in his headphones while he drew in his room late at night.

~ Bill would also really love watching indie movies on Netflix and other platforms. He’s lowkey a movie buff, but he doesn’t tell people too much.

~ His favorite movie from the past decade would probably be Moonrise Kingdom (good movie!!) or The Skeleton Twins (also good movie!!)

~ Bill’s favorite book would 10000% be Turtles All The Way Down by John Green because of the main character and her battle with anxiety.

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Mike Hanlon:

~ He runs a cooking YouTube channel, you can’t fight me on this one.

~ Mike would definitely have one of those motorized scooters, idk seems like a Mike thing

~ He’s in love with video games but only the ones that are based on a lot of skill. He doesn’t like first person shooters, nor does he like any games with violence at all. Tbh, Papa’s Pizzeria is right up his alley.

~ Mike would be a gym try hard, most definitely. But in every other class he’d just sit on his phone.

~ But he’s so smart that he’d pass all the tests anyway.

~ He’d work a lot just so he could afford the newest phone because he thinks it gives people less of a reason to pick on him and bully him. (News flash: it doesn’t)

~ Whenever Mike isn’t working, he volunteers at the animal shelter in Derry. He runs the Instagram account :)

~ Probably one of the guys who posts shirtless pics on Instagram because he likes the attention the girls give him in the comments.

~ Will answer any of Bill’s texts at 3am when he wants feedback on a new piece of art.

~ A secret theatre kid, no doubt. Not really a musical kid, but he loves acting and just being on stage with everyone’s attention on him.

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Richie Tozier:

~ Speaking of theatre kids, Richie is the BIGGEST fucking one. He has been in every musical and play that his school has done since 6th grade, and he was one of the best kids they had.

~ He wears Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens shirts, but Richie mostly listens to softer bands like Arctic Monkeys and The Neighbourhood.

~ He has a bi pride pin on his backpack. Kids will sometimes pull it off and throw it around, but he just pulls another one out of a ziploc bag full of them in the tiny front pouch of his bag and sticks it on there.

~ Richie unapologetically owns a Juul and will sometimes let Bev borrow it as long as she pays him “25 cents a hit”, which she never does.

~ Posts music on SoundCloud. He’s not much of a singer outside of the musicals because he’s mostly shy with his talent; however, he does a lot of instrumentals.

~ Richie shops are thrift stores most of the time. He’ll take Eddie with him and though Eddie won’t touch anything until it’s been washed twice, Richie will buy him anything he likes.

~ He LOVES Harry Potter. He found the first book when he was younger and he just fell in love with the story. He owns all the first editions and all of the movies.

~ Goes to small venues to see bands that no one knows. Richie will go to so many concerts because he likes the escape it brings for him. He’s in his element when he goes to concerts.

~ Despite what many people think, he isn’t a whore :0 He just flirts a lot and he actually didn’t lose his virginity till he was 17 at a party. He regrets it, though, cause he was drunk off his ass.

~ He was also in the color guard for his high school’s marching band. A lot of the girls from the theatre stuff begged him to be apart of it because he could dance really well, and he ended up being in it for both the indoor and outdoor seasons all throughout high school.

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Eddie Kaspbrak:

~ BOOKWORM, BOOKWORM, B O O K W O R M!!! This boy would spend every second he could just browsing the books that his school library had.

~ After he yelled at his mom for his pills, he started to kind of overcome his germaphobe tendencies, but he still was very iffy about touching things in places he’d never been.

~ For example, Richie took him to the park one time and he had never been there before, so the whole time he was holding his noses and steering clear of the snot nosed little kids.

~ Him and Richie definitely dated at some point or another. Whether to get a feel for guys or just for each other, but it did happen. Beverly was the only one who ever knew.

~ Eddie fell in love with engineering at school. He would always call one of the Losers at an ungodly hour in the morning and rant about how all of the buildings in town were built and with what materials. Honestly, Ben was the only one who shared this interest with him.

~ Eddie was the first to get his own car so all of the Losers would pile into his Jeep. Richie always tried to convince him to take off the doors, but Eddie thought that that was the biggest goddamn safety hazard he’d ever heard.

~ As they all got older, obviously him and Richie stayed close, but he also got surprisingly close with Ben and Ben would gush about Beverly to him after Eddie would excitedly explain how a car’s engine works or something like that.

~ Eddie was the one to convince Beverly to go after Ben and stop pining over Bill.

~ Eddie went to concerts with Richie all the time, and even if the sweaty roadies grossed him out, he fell in love with the bass killing his eardrums and the way the mic static could transform someone’s voice.

~ He also joined his school’s marching band (mainly cause Richie begged him) and was fucking AMAZING at playing snare drums.

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Stanley Uris:

~ He was the last one to enter high school, everyone a year ahead of him, but he was ironically the most popular among the lower class men.

~ Stan was a very private person, but his willingness to do other’s homework for $5 a page made him infamous.

~ Because of all this money he’d been making, he’d buy the Losers presents all the time. He would treat them to their favorite snacks whenever they went to Keene’s or to a new shirt whenever they went to the mall over in Bangor. And he never went over budget because he’s a goddamn accountant by nature.

~ He had a massive crush on Bill and asked him to homecoming his freshman year. Yeah, they were bullied, but Stan couldn’t have been more happier.

~ Bill convinced him to tryout for the baseball team. He tried out for pitcher and got it immediately. He was also one of the sports kids who would post on his Snapchat whenever they had a game.

~ Him and Bill ended up dating up until junior year, when Bill admitted that he wanted to date at least one girl before college and Stan wasn’t mad because he honestly wasn’t feeling it anymore. Afterwards, they both started dating cheerleaders.

~ Stan was in Calculus his sophomore year of high school, which was the class that all of the AP seniors took. Many people called him a genius, he just thanked the internet.

~ Stan fell in love with indie bands like R.O.A.R and Florence + The Machines. Richie did, however, convince him to go to concerts with him and Eds. He might’ve not enjoyed the music, but he still loved being with his best friends since diapers.

~ He didn’t like movies too much but would watch them with Bill. He enjoyed TV shows a lot more. He’s definitely a true crime baby.

~ Stan also fell in love with photography because he was forced to take the class. He begged his parents to buy him a camera for his birthday, and his many cork boards were filled with pictures of his friends and birds.

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Ben Hanscom:

~ Was a track start in high school. He ran off all of his fat and just fell in love with the high of running (tbh this is my favorite part about Ben’s character. like such a determined boy 🥺)

~ Ben enjoyed sitting at the library with Eddie and just watching him peruse books, usually pointing a few that he had read and liked. He also just loved the fact that him and Eddie were able to get so close as they got older.

~ Ben was in all the engineering courses his school offered. He was just so happy that he could take classes that pertained to the career path he wanted to go down.

~ He was able to finally get Beverly their senior year. He had been in love with her for the longest time, and she asked him to homecoming.

~ Ben also considered trying out for the football team, but it conflicted with the winter track season so he wasn’t able to; however, him, Mike, and Bill would always play their own small games in the field by Mike’s house.

~ While Stan helped everything with their math homework, Ben helped everyone with their history homework. He was a big history nerd, and everyone knew he paid attention the most.

~ He lost a bet one time and Richie was able to give him a stick and poke tattoo anywhere of his choosing. So now on the inside of his left ring finger he has R.T. written messily.

~ Ben loves pop music. He had always liked it, and some of his favorite artists were Katy Perry and Sia.

~ He rode his bike to school everyday. He was a very big proponent for the environment and hated the idea of driving, so he’d pass up the rides from Eddie or Richie and just bike with his headphones in.

~ Ben was apart of the school’s Green Team and protested climate change and the use of fossil fuels. When he had free time, he’d study ways that he could benefit the environment when he became an architect.

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Beverly Marsh:

~ She was an English wiz. It was her favorite subject, and she fell in love with analyzing poetry and other forms of literary work.

~ Beverly started to let her hair grow out again and she was relieved to see that it started to grow out straight. She hated her curly hair.

~ She bleached her hair a few times throughout high school; she hated the red because it reminded her too much of her mother.

~ Her and Richie’s friendship fell off big time, but she got super close with Bill, Ben, and Mike. Her crush in Bill didn’t deplete for a while, even after him and Stan started dating. She still had hope.

~ Eddie told her about Ben and it really changed her whole perspective on everything. But that wasn’t until junior year.

~ Though she didn’t have too good of a singing voice, she loved being in choir. The angelic reverberations throughout the auditorium whenever they performed always gave her chills and she wanted so desperately to be a part of it.

~ Beverly wrote a lot of poetry. She wrote some to her friends, to her dead mom, to her asshole dad. Just to whoever she was focused on in that moment.

~ She helped Mike after school at the animal shelter and actually ended up adopting a kitten for herself.

~ Luckily, her dad didn’t mind the cat too much as long as Bev took care of it and didn’t bother him for a single thing.

~ Beverly didn’t get her license until she was well into her twenties, but she loved hanging her arm out of the passenger’s side window of Richie’s car and listen to the bands that he’d blast with closed eyes.

[annieintheaair]

Love & Valentine’s Day

The last time it really snowed in Texas, that I remember, was in 2015 when I was in flight attendant training. I was scheduled to do a work flight that weekend and the snow came down instead, canceling flights, and keeping us indoors.

Everyone I talked to told me that in Texas, when it snows, you just stay home. Being from the northeast, that just seemed weird to me because life carries on when it snows.

I don’t know if someday I’ll wake up and re-download dating apps or miraculously meet someone while out and about but for the time being, I’m focusing on myself and doing my best to find new hobbies and make new friends.

Since it has been cold and snowy, I’ve been binge watching Firefly Lane on Netflix this weekend and I was watching an episode today where after Tully gets married, she flips out on her husband and makes him leave. He doesn’t want to leave at first but she screams at him that he has to go and as soon as he gives in and does, she falls to the floor in regret.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever asked someone to leave but deep down, you were testing them to see if they’d choose to stay anyway? This scene brought me flashbacks to November. I remember flipping out on James and telling him to leave. I thought he would go and I ended up falling asleep that night, only to wake up in the morning and find that he hadn’t left. At that point, I felt like I couldn’t change my mind. He packed up his things and in a more calm way (but not without tears) that morning, we said goodbye.

Without going into detail, we did patch things up a few days later but looking back, I think that was our breaking point. I should have been glad that he stayed that night on my couch and in the morning, I should have apologized and told him to stay. I think sometimes we just can’t let go of our pride.

In Firefly Lane, Tully finally gets up the courage to apologize but at that point, Max has decided that he wants a divorce. She tells him anyway that she wants a fresh start and if he wants one too, she will be at the spot in the park where they got married, the following day. Max basically explains to her that she wasn’t there when he needed her to be and that she wouldn’t talk when he wanted to talk with her. He doesn’t show up the next day and she’s heartbroken.

This story line tugged at my heartstrings really badly. I’ve been the girl crying on the floor and later trying to apologize and fix things to only be turned down. I’ve felt that pain of feeling like it was all my fault and feeling rejected and like there was nothing that I could do or say to fix everything.

It has been almost two months now since it ended and it was two months yesterday since I last saw him. My heart still hurts. I keep wishing he would show up and we’d figure it out. There are so many days that go by that I keep wishing we could have a fresh start. I feel like Tully, standing at the park, waiting for him.

The thing is, you can’t make yourself important to anyone. They have to choose you, each and every day. They have to want it as badly as you do and they have to be willing to work things out. I’ve learned that love isn’t easy. Love doesn’t mean that everything goes smoothly all of the time but that you work through things. Just like Tully realized, sometimes it’s better to hold on and keep pushing to work things out instead of running away but you both need to run in the same direction together.

I think about Valentine’s Day last year. The pandemic hadn’t really started yet, life was normal, and I went to Phoenix for work where I went on a first date with Kris, who I had met on Match.com. It was a great first date but for many reasons, it didn’t go anywhere beyond that day really. We became friends and that was about it.

A lot has happened in the last year. To think that after that day, I proceeded to go on more dates and have my heart broken twice, it’s no wonder that I’m feeling down about love and not at all interested in getting back out there to meet someone new.

I remember a couple of years ago after having been taking anti-depressants for a while, my therapist told me that she felt like maybe my dosage was too high. At the time, I thought that she was just saying that because she was afraid that I’d stop seeing her every week if I felt so numb that I didn’t need her help. There have been days, like in early January, when I felt like my dosage wasn’t high enough but lately, I feel like maybe she was right and maybe it really is too high.

I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t know how to feel anymore. I don’t know how to really put my feelings into words and the more I try to tell myself that I’m ok, the less I really believe it. Have I become so good at convincing everyone else that I can no longer convince myself? Am I ok or am I not ok? Has my medication made me too numb?

These days, I feel like I’ve run out of words, which is weird for me. It’s like deep down, I have so much to say, but the words don’t come out. I feel like I’m no longer heard so it’s no use to even try to get the words out.

With only a few weeks left until I return to work and my old life, I’ve decided to refocus all of my efforts. Instead of getting back on Bumble for dating, I’ve pursued new friendships. It’s incredible to me the new people that God has brought into my life. These new friends that I clicked with immediately have made me wonder where they’ve been my whole life and have filled me with excitement for what’s to come. I feel like we’re all going through similar things and while some people I’ve talked to are in relationships or married, those I’ve met in person so far are living the single life. At 31, it feels so good to finally have some single girl friends.

I’ve also been going to the gym frequently and trying new exercise classes, as well as cooking healthier meals at home to get myself back on track. I’ve been going back out for walks with my dogs (not 10 mile walks like I did in the spring but every bit helps!). All of this has made me realize that I think James and I made a huge mistake.

While I don’t think our relationship was a mistake, I think it was complicated because we jumped into it so fast and began spending nearly every minute of everyday together. I forgot about my own life and stopped trying to make new friends. Even when I was in Wyoming in December, I had plans to meet up with a girl from Bumble BFF but then didn’t for many reasons but mainly because I didn’t want to tell James that I wanted to go out without him when I was there visiting him.

Being with James had me giving up on my own life. I guess I lost my sense of self in our relationship. I stopped going out for walks or bike rides unless he wanted to go with me. I had even made friends with a girl named Emma but stopped hanging out with her because I always chose James over her. At the time, I thought that was a good choice but looking back, I realize that we probably needed to maintain our own lives in order to have a strong and stable life together.

I always hated the girls who gave up on their friends when they were in relationships and there I was, that girl, and I didn’t even realize it. Where did Annie go?

I know that James looks at my Instagram stories and I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking. Does he wonder where the girl he dated disappeared to since we broke up? Does he miss the old Annie or does he wish he was with the new Annie?

The other day I rushed to the hair salon because I swore I saw some white strands in my hair. White, yes, white, not grey. I’m pretty sure it was caused by stress and even though my mom tried to suggest that maybe it was a white blonde, I was still in a panic. I thought the girl would do my base color as blonde but something clearly went wrong and left my hair with a reddish tint. At home, I told myself that red (or anything) was better than white and maybe I just need to embrace this new version of myself. I never would have gone and asked for her to dye my hair red but maybe red is just the change that I needed. Maybe red is the beginning of the new Annie.

I’m tossing this back and forth-- am I the new Annie or the old Annie, before James and all of the heartbreak? Maybe I’m a mixture of both. I’m reclaiming parts of my old life before James but I’m also embracing this new version of myself.

Being alone has given me more time back since I’ve been working my part-time job right now and not flying. When I’m out and about, I don’t feel like I need to rush home to James because he’s not there but I stay out around town and I get things done. I love spending my evenings (and some mornings) at exercise classes, bible study, and serving with the students at church. I’m enjoying making dinner plans with new friends and even had brunch today (on Valentine’s Day) with a new friend.

All of these new things in my life are great but that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss James. Sometimes I feel like I wish we could have that do-over, just like Tully talked about on Firefly Lane. I wish we could meet up in person and talk about all of this and realize these things together. I wish we could start over and maintain our own lives but be together and go to sleep and wake up together everyday. I wish we could hold onto what worked and fix what didn’t work.

I feel like there is no end to missing him. I feel like I constantly put on this façade that everything is great but deep down, I’m still hurting. If you’d seen what my house looks like these days, you’d understand. I’ve always been the person who tries to keep my house tidy and I even “chop” the pillows on my couch and make my bed everyday. Lately, I don’t do any of those things. My kitchen seems to be an endless mess, my pillows don’t look nice, there’s papers on my kitchen table, my bed isn’t made, and I haven’t even put my suitcase away from my recent travels. The laundry is piling up, once again.

When does this end? Will there come a day when I stop missing him? If I’m not looking to meet someone new right now, how will I move on?

Maybe tomorrow (as I tell myself everyday), I’ll clean my house and get my life back together. Aside from my house, the goal these days has been to get myself back in shape and lose some weight (that I gained while we were dating). It’s not even that I want to look like I did when I met James but I want to look better than that and even better than when I was spending time with Ryan.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to focus on myself right now and even if we never get that do-over or I wake up and it’s April (like in my dream last week), I’ve learned to never let go of my own life. Never stop maintaining your own life for your relationship because you need both your life on your own and your life together in order to have the best kind of relationship. It has to be a good balance of both.

Happy Valentine’s Day! You are never, ever alone.

xoxo

Annie

[mnranger5]

Coronavirus Will Be Remembered Very Differently By Our Family

Coronavirus, also known as, Covid-19, and while not politically correct, The Wuhan (Josh’s preferred name), The China Cough (Brianna’s preferred name) or The Chinese Disease (Ashlynn’s preferred name), Kung Flu, The Rona (my favorite) is the pandemic flu virus that originated in Wuhan, China.  This virus profoundly impacted the world in early 2020, killing a small percentage of those who contract the virus, wiping out trillions of dollars of wealth in the stockmarket and causing panic and social distancing like nothing this world has ever seen.

The virus is an upper respiratory infection that can cause severe trauma to the lungs.  For most people, the virus ends up feeling like a cold or flu, but for others, hospitalization is required and the harshest cases have resulted in death.   While it’s believed the virus began impacting China and other SE Asian countries in the Fall of 2019, our media coverage in the states was largely just snip-it reporting of it being “their problem.”  After all, there were no known cases in Europe or the United States.  But in hindsight, you can’t have any cases if you aren’t testing.  The United States had yet to develop a widely used test to detect the virus even though there were likely hundreds of thousands of undocumented cases from NY to LA.  Out of sight, out of mind.  For months, these cases probably passed off as just a run of the mill colds and flues.

January: The first time I really started hearing about the Coronavirus was in late January.  I was in the middle of the refinancing process on my mortgage.  I was watching interest rates daily.  Typically, mortgage rates follow the 10 Year Treasury Yield.  The 10 Year Yield is a fairly stable yield curve that really doesn’t have huge sways, unless there is some kind of global pressure.  Well, in late January, the 10 Year Yield started plummeting due to an outbreak of documented Coronavirus cases in China.  China’s stock market was in disarray and although the downstream impacts on other countries markets had yet to be felt, the uncertainly led to a steep downturn in the Treasury Yield, and therefore a cliff in mortgage rates.  On a daily basis, I was in contact with my mortgage broker getting the latest rate and lock recommendation.  In late January, I contracted a rough upper respiratory infection.  I had a fever that came and went and a sharp cough that lasted a week.  At the time, I thought nothing of it, as the virus then circulated through the rest of the house over the coming weeks. But in hindsight, the symptoms were perfectly aligned with that of The Wuhan.

February 13: With the stock market at an all-time high (DOW 29,423), Blue Cross sent out our first company-wide email notification providing general information about Coronavirus.   At the time, BCBS’ statement was that Minnesotans and those in the United States were at low risk for contracting the Coronavirus.  Although a handful of cases had been confirmed in the United States, there really was no cause for alarm.

February 20-29: One week later, the media coverage began turn.  As more and more cases were confirmed positive, the US also recorded it’s first death from Coronavirus.  During the final week in February, cases began popping up in nearly every state and person-to-person transmission of the virus had been confirmed.  Travel to China was banned.  The media started running with wild stories about the virus giving way to politicians lining up on their side of the aisle to either commend or find fault with the response by the Trump Administration.  This was the beginning of a new era for Americans.  The stock market started to nose dive..

March 1-7: By the first week in March something was brewing in our way of life that didn’t quite seem right.  Every news cycle was about a worsening doom and gloom picture of Covid-19.  I will never forget the pictures of stretchers carrying body bags out of a Seattle-area nursing home that was plagued with the virus, killing at least 35.  Early on for the United States, Seattle would serve as the epicenter for Coronavirus.  The impacts of the virus were impacting our everyday life too.  That same week, BCBS issued a statement to employees indicating all non-essential work travel was being canceled.  That meant Dyan’s trip to San Diego (that I was hoping to piggyback along with) was canceled as well as her upcoming trips to Vermont and Baltimore. The virus was steamrolling the stock market.  The DOW was down nearly 20% since mid-February.  I was watching my 401K hemorrhage value daily, err, hourly.  This felt very different than any other stock market correction we’ve had.  EVER.  This one had no end in sight.  Scary.  And to make matters worse, people began panic shopping, completely wiping out shelves at the grocery store.  It was so surreal walking around a store with completely empty shelves.  This isn’t supposed to happen in America.  This has to be a dream.

March 8-19: By the second week in March, Coronavirus was all anybody could talk about.  BCBS issued a statement to employees that Friday, 3/13, would be a mandatory “Work For Home” day, as the company wanted to test network adequacy and bandwidth in the instance we all needed to work from home in the future.  The following Monday, 3/16, BCBS announced that BCBS employees would be required to work from home, through the end of March.  Just two days later, the governor of MN announced that all schools would be closed through early April.  That meant parents pulling double duty – homeschooling while trying to accomplish their day job from home.  Aye-yai-yai!  By the end of the week, the market was still plunging into an unknown abyss, down 30%.  

With no travel being advised, and new social distancing rules in place (stay at least 6 feet apart in public spaces), we were spending a lot of time inside with the kiddos.  Since the weather wasn’t really cooperating like and ideal spring quite yet, we needed to come up with some fun things to do indoors.  One of my favorite things to do is break boxes of baseball cards.  One of my favorite boxes when I was a kid was 1990 Score (Mom and Dad bought me a box of 36 packs for my birthday that year).  The reason it’s my favorite is that it contains a hard to find Bo Jackson insert.  Flaunting shoulder pads and a baseball bat, this black & white card is one of the most iconic of a junk card era.  I found a box online for relatively cheap and it was in my mailbox 3 days later.  On 3/19, The kids helped me re-live my youth, by tearing into these plastic packs.  I had given the kids a description of the exact card we were looking for, so the hunt was on.

Brianna pulled the first BO!

Scarlett and Ashlynn followed up with two more Bo Jackson cards!

In all, it took about thirty minutes to blow through all 36 packs.  But wow, so much nostalgia, and so much fun.  That Bo Jackson card is worth about $1 today, but the excitement we had together ripping those packs open made the investment so incredibly worth it!

March 21: Minnesotans were in full lockdown on Brianna’s birthday.  No restaurants, entertainment venues or shopping was open.  Therefore, we had to celebrate Brianna’s birthday quarantine-style!  Brianna wanted to have a bake-off for her birthday, so Brianna and Scarlett made vanilla birthday cake while Ashlynn and Felicity made chocolate cupcakes.  Both were off the charts good….there honestly was no loser between the two!  For her birthday, she received two 5lb tubs of slime as well as a new bike.  

Later that evening (after a family bike ride), we watched Jumanji 2 in the basement with theater popcorn and mega candy boxes!

March 22: This is the day why we will remember the Coronavirus Quarantine a little bit differently than most families.  WE BOUGHT A PUPPY!  Here is how it all went down.  Dyan and I have been talking about getting a puppy for a long time…like for the past 3 years at least.  We’ve just never pulled the trigger.  Earlier in the week, I began thinking of ways to entertain the kids should this quarantine really eat into the spring and summer months.  All I kept coming back to was: a puppy.  I mean, it’s the perfect time.  We’d all be at home to take care of the dog for a prolonged period of time.  Plus, with spring on the doorstep, training outside should be a lot easier than it would be in the dead of winter.  I had planned to find the perfect puppy and surprise everybody…including Dyan.  I texted and emailed with breeders all week, but was coming up empty.  I had one pup in SW Minnesota that I could find ready, but quite honestly, the dog wasn’t very attractive.  I needed help finding a puppy, so I decided to tell Dyan on Sunday morning.  SHE ADORED THE IDEA OF A PUPPY!  Within an hour, Dyan found a litter of AKC Yellow Labs in a town southwest of Rochester, near the border of Iowa.  And within two hours, we had placed a hold on one of four males in the litter, specifically, “Red Collar.”  

We didn’t tell the kids yet, however.  We had them all get ready for the day and head out to the car for a nice little quarantine-busting road trip.  The kids thought the drive was just so we could get out of the house for the first time in a week.  After an hour of driving, the kids were getting antsy, asking questions.  They knew something was up.  Finally, ten minutes before we arrived at the Hayfield farm, we told the kids we needed their help picking out the perfect puppy for our family.  I have never seen so much joy and excitement from all of the kids, EVER.  There were tears, shrieks and screams.  The puppy, these kids have so patiently waited for was finally over.

And when we stepped foot in the garage of the breeder, there were puppies from two different litters.  “Blue Collar” and Red Collar were just inside the door, while several other puppies were in a large cage.  And while all the puppies were absolutely adorable, Red Collar, the puppy Dyan picked out in the pictures posted on Facebook, was going to be ours.  No question about it.  

He was bigger than the other puppies with floppy ears and so much skin that his wrinkles rolled in all the right places.  The breeder told us his mom, Lady Red Fern (Fernie) was 80lbs, and his dad, Healthlands Love My Charger (Charger) was 95lbs.  

She fully expected Red Collar to reach 90lbs.  With his massive paws at only 9 weeks old, there was no denying this puppy would grow up to be a biggun!  The kids took turns holding the puppies, but Red Collar never left our sight.  Within 20 minutes, we were headed back to the car, with the puppy swaddled in a blanket.  Welcome to the family, Red Collar!  

Your new name is Ranger.

March 24 - April 25

Ranger really did help to break up the monotony of our daily grind from home.  

The kids were always ready to put up a good fight over who got to take him for a walk, give him a bath, cuddle with him on the couch or play in our last spring snow storm.  

The pup never had to walk.  He was constantly carried around the house and neighborhood by the kids.  As soon as one would put him down, somebody else would pick him up.  He was treated like a Prince.

But even though our family had a new puppy to love, life was still at a standstill in so many regards.  We didn’t leave the house the entire week.  We had Hy-Vee and Amazon deliver all of our groceries.  We were in the process of trying to find the right balance of being school teachers and BCBS employees throughout the day.  Not going to lie, it was tough.  All of us huddling up around the kitchen table with laptops, notebooks, text books and iPads seemed foreign and severely tested boundaries.  Our kitchen table has never been used so much...

On March 29th, I was going stir crazy.  I needed to get out of the house.  So Mike and I hatched a plan to get on the water and do a little social distance fishing at the Red Wing Dam.  Temps were in the 40′s with a howling 30 mph wind out of the north and light showers that turned to sleet at times.  It was absolutely the most miserable fishing conditions I have ever fished in.  But, being on the water for the first time this year was worth every moment of the experience.  Mike even salvaged the fishing day with a GIANT 10″ Sauger!

On my way home that night, I found the cheapest gas I recall in my lifetime.  Oh Coronavirus, I love how you are making the gas cheap!

Over the next month, Ranger brightened our lives so much.  To the point where it’s hard to imagine a life without him.  He attached to our family (and us to him) so quickly, that we didn’t leave the house without him.  He came on our walks, trips to Target, pick-up & drop-off of the kids, food take-out runs and any other time we had to leave the house.  We just couldn’t imagine him being home alone.  

Way back in the day...like at least 4 years ago, when Dyan and I first discussed getting a dog, we always said we’d get two at the same time, so that they would be best buds and always have a friend to play with when we weren’t home.  Our plan was to find a litter that had both yellow and chocolate males.  For years we searched on and off for the perfect littler of pups, but could never find a large breed mixed litter.  During that time of looking, Dyan and I put deposits on two pups (separate occasions), which we disappointingly backed out on because of bad timing.

But timing wasn’t an issue this time.  In fact, timing was working out to our advantage.  We had nowhere to be but home, for the foreseeable future.   So how about that second puppy, Dyan?

April 26

We had once again scoured the puppy pages online looking for the perfect Chocolate Lab.  Dyan would once again get the credit for finding this one.  He was located in an obscure town in eastern Iowa.  We’d make plans to drive three and a half hours and meet at Bass Pro Shoppes in Des Moines.

We arrived at 9:00, and when I say we, I include Ranger, because again, we don’t leave home without him.  We were the Welcome Wagon contingent.  The breeder pulled up shortly after us, with a puppy in his lap.  Our puppy?  Not so fast.  We took to the puppy immediately.  He seemed perfect, and at barely 8 weeks old.  The breeder went on and on with stories about breeding world class coon hounds.  We just wanted to get on the road!  The puppy snuggled in tight to us, never touching the ground in the 20 minutes.  As we were wrapping up, I decided to put the pup on the ground to meet Ranger.  The pup had a severe limp on his rear right leg. The breeder was very honest about it indicating he had stepped very hard on the pups paw 3 hours earlier that morning.  He indicated there “could” be some damage to the paw, or, he “could” be just fine.  The entire conversation changed in that moment.  It had been three hours since the incident occurred, so he should be feeling better if there was no damage, right?  What if it was a broken paw?  Having a broken paw cared for could be several thousand dollars depending on the damage.  The puppy gingerly hobbled around the empty Bass Pro parking lot.  Neither of us were comfortable bringing an injured puppy home.  Finally, the breeder offered to drive home, pick up the next largest male in the litter, and meet us at this same spot in a couple hours.  That seemed like the best option at this point.  

Since Iowa did not have a Corona-related stay-at-home order in place, most stores were open.  We leisurely walked around Bass Pro for an hour looking at puppy toys and puppy treats.  

Around 11, the breeder arrived at Bass Pro for the second time, with his second dog.  He profusely apologized for the entire ordeal, and for not being able to have given this second pup a bath.  He pulled the pup from the back cab of the truck. 

Now, I should rewind here just a bit for some additional context to the story.  As Dyan and I walked Ranger around Bass Pro I think we were both leaning toward walking away from the sale anyway because the overall vibe the breeder was giving off wasn’t exactly selling us on his litter (but that’s another story.)   We also both agreed that this second dog was NOT the dog we chose from the litter.  We had no pre-attachment to him like we did over the limping puppy.  We had gushed over the other puppy for two weeks as we secretly waited for pick-up day.  But this second dog only had one picture posted online.  He was Male #2, or “Blue Collar.”  

Our agreement was that if Blue Collar didn’t seem like a good fit, or wasn’t cute, or wasn’t what we were expecting, we’d walk away and not look back.

So, when Blue Collar was pulled out of the cab of the truck, and we got our first look at him, it was game over.  Immediate.  Period.  Done.  Blue Collar was ours. He was absolutely adorable.  I asked Dyan the question (full well knowing the answer,)  “What do you think?”  Obviously no response was required as the baby rubbed up against Dyan’s cheek before nuzzling in under her chin.  We put him on the ground, for safe measure.  Had to make sure Blue Collar didn’t have a limp!  He cautiously moved around the parking lot, all paws fully functioning. 

Ranger seemingly towered over Blue Collar as the two sat side by side.  Neither quite sure what to make of the other. The breeder wasted no time and was gone quickly this time around.  We stared at the two puppies, wondering what we had just got ourselves into.  At this point one of us finally called Blue Collar by his new name.  Moose, let’s take you to your new home!

The drive home turned into a much longer journey with several potty breaks along the way.  Ranger and Moose shared a bed n the backseat a majority of the drive home.

And when we arrived home, we broke the surprise to the kids by walking into the room holding him.  The kids went nuts!  Hysteria, tears and shrieks of joy.  The Blaniels Family was now complete!

And even though Minnesota is still on lock-down from Coronavirus, our family is quickly building new bonds and soaking up moments of excitement and joy caused by the two guys!

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* I wrote this piece for my magazine writing class, I hope you like it!

Quaint little community, alluring tourist trap, refined urban town, beachcombers’ paradise – Seabrook, Washington has numerous faces. Respectively appealing to a variety of both temporary and permanent guests. Families, seeking enjoyable activities designed for all ages find opportunities to: ride bicycles, build sand castles, fly kites, and roast marshmallows. Couples, looking for a romantic rendezvous discover: serene sunsets on the beach, moments of solitude along the many walking trails, snuggles by the fire, and exquisite dinners. Friends, searching for a weekend getaway come across a multitude of possibilities for creating, shopping, and exploring. Individuals, pursuing a personal retreat encounter the ability to escape the busyness of everyday life and indulge in total relaxation of the mind, body, and spirit.

Originated in 2005, Seabrook is the newest, budding beach town, celebrating nature and community, on the Washington coast. Seabrook began as a childhood dream for founders and residents Casey and Laura Roloff, who both grew up playing on the beaches of the Pacific Northwest. The founders and their team, inspired by these dreams, believe the finest towns are purposefully designed, not formed by chance. The philosophy which is known as “new urbanism”; this scheme is guided by three ideals: our personal instinctive need of being a part of something, an ease of access to basic goods and services, as well as, the concept of sustainability.

Perched upon an ocean bluff, Seabrook is a pedestrian paradise, you will need to use your car to drive here; however, once you have arrived everything is within walking distance. A five-minute walk connects all residents to all the common areas: amphitheater, market, parks, restaurants, outdoor games, playgrounds, Town Hall, fire pits, boutique shops, heated indoor pool, and the beach. These walkways around Seabrook are exquisitely unique, made with a variety of eco-friendly materials; boardwalks, gravel, reclaimed crushed oyster shell, and shredded cedar mulch. Each pathway leading you to these beautiful common gathering areas that Seabrook’s website says, “are where community is strengthened and memories are made and shared.”

How To Get There

Coming from the South Puget Sound area, you will want to drive south on I-5 toward Olympia to begin your coastal escapade. From the state’s capital, you will head west on US 101 N at exit 104. This short six-mile drive will allow you to merge onto US-8 toward Aberdeen and Montesano, continue on the highway for 20 miles until you reach US-12 W which will take you to the city of Aberdeen. Once in Aberdeen, you will want to stop and pick up any necessities as this is the last major city before you enter the plethora of ocean towns along the coast. There are plenty of gas stations, boutiques, and small markets to pick up your favorite beachy trash & trinkets; however, forgotten items such as toothpaste, sand castle building supplies, sunglasses, flip flops, and the like are about to triple in price. When ready to proceed, follow the signs to WA-109 NW. Leaving Hoquiam, you will see a body of water to your left. Do not be confused as the road will lead you up and away from the body of water into a forested area, you are still on the correct highway, proceed through the ups, downs, and sharp turns. Continue WA -109 N for 25 miles, passing Ocean City, Copalis Beach, Iron Springs, and Ocean Grove. Seabrook will be on your right-hand side, you can enter through the beautifully landscaped entrance which is Front Street. If you have reservations, you can find the Cottage & Bike Rentals on your right; however, day trippers are also welcome.

Where to Stay

The home-owners of Seabrook are both permanent and temporary. Half of the residents call this town home year-round, while others have a vacation home and rental property. Cottages available to rent have redefined vacation for those on the Washington Coast. They all look as they have been gathered up and hand delivered from Martha’s Vineyard. Each home is individually named, similar to the boats found on the harbor; Catch a Wave, Worry Free Days, The Little Pearl, Coral Belle Cottage, Captain Morgan’s to highlight a few. They are also individually decorated in an ocean, beach theme that is both relaxing and pleasing to the eye. When visiting, you are entering someone’s home. You treat it with respect and you clean up after yourself. A few notifications are placed around the rooms of how they would like things to be completed; such as, no shoes in this area and hang wet items here. They also provide directions to use their trendy technological gadgets and their favorite family board games they have for you to enjoy during your stay. In return, I have received in the mail: thank you cards, Christmas cards with pictures of the cottage, and yearly picture calendars from the home-owners of the cottages I have stayed in. They are genuinely appreciative of your stay and encourage you to revisit their home or another’s.

Over 170 gorgeous homes available, both in town cottages and luxury oceanfront rentals: quaint and cozy cottages, ideal for individuals, a couple, or a small family, sleeping one to six guests; enjoy a little bit more breathing room or share a rental home with friends, sleeping seven to ten guests; large but comfy homes are ideal for multiple families or a large group, sleeping eleven to seventeen guests; and big homes for the biggest groups are hard to find, at Seabrook they are a staple sleeping eighteen or more. Cottage rentals are available at $116 a night to $741 a night, some rental owners have weekly rates available. All cottages are equipped with everything you need to enjoy your stay; bedding, linens, towels, dishes, cookware, and more. Their on-site team provides full service 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

What to Eat Frontager’s Pizza Co. Classic brick- oven pizza and tasty Italian cuisine using local ingredients from the Olympic Peninsula. Great dining for two or the entire group/family. Call ahead for reservations, as this place is packed from open to close. They serve an amazing breakfast too. www.facebook.com/frontagers Mill 109 Restaurant. When it comes to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and drinks this restaurant and pub is where it is at. Serving all in a family friendly atmosphere. Beer Garden is open during warmer weather season. Dinner entrees range from $12 to $26. www.mill109.com Sweet Life. Homemade ice-cream and delicious treats. If you are like me, you cannot go home without getting your salt-water taffy when you visit the beach and this is the place to do it. www.sweetlifewa.com Red Velvet Bakery … by the Sea. Delicious coffee and even better treats! You can even pick up a boxed lunch that you can take to the beach. Everything is made fresh, daily. www.facebook.com/redvelvetbakerybythesea Front Street Market. Offering a fine selection of produce, dairy, beer and wine, deli meats, snacks and frozen food, as well as personal care necessities. http://www.shopfrontstreetmarket.com

What to Do Bucks Bikes. If walking is not your favorite choice of transportation in town, you can rent a cruiser bike during your stay. Rentals of wet gear, bike trailers, fat tire bikes, and body boards are also available. Reservations can be made online prior to your stay or made at the shop in town. I recommend reservations during spring and summer to save time and ensure availability. All moderately priced for hourly, daily, and weekly prices. Bucks, also has a full repair shop to fix any issues you may have with your rental or the bike you brought along. www.bucksbicyclerepair.comwww.bucksbicyclerepair.com Crescent Indoor Swimming Pool. One of the only heated indoor pools available on the Washington coast, where people can enjoy swimming all year round. This fine amenity is free of charge during your stay at one of the cottage rentals. A quiet, adult lap swim is held for two hours every morning from 7am-9am, then it is open to all ages until 11pm. The pool area also includes a spa jacuzzi and a terrace for those interested in a little relaxation. Spa Elizabeth. Pamper yourself to: a nice hand, foot, neck, or, full body massage; a hand or foot treatment, and facial. Appointments are mandatory and reservations are recommended at least two-weeks in advance to ensure service. Price ranges vary on service. www.spaelizabeth.com Rusty Anchor Fitness. Your stay in any of the rental cottages includes complimentary access to the gym, so that you can stay on your exercise regime away from home or make the time to begin one. www.facebook.com/rustyanchorfitness Imagine That! Paint your own pottery studio. All pottery completed before 5pm is fired up and ready for you the next day at noon for pick up. Choose from a variety of ceramic shapes, plates and other objects to create your own custom painted piece.www.facebook.com/imaginethat.seabrook Event Calendar. Stay up to date and see what is planned while you are in town. Saturday markets, Sunset Concert Series, Doggie Days, Volleyball Tournaments, Festivals, Movie Nights, Parades, and more. http://www.seabrookwa.com/events-calendar

Where to Shop The Stowaway. Local and from around the world delectable cheeses and fine wine. Sip at the bar, take it home, or have it delivered to your cottage. Fresh bread baked daily. www.facebook.com/ThestowawayatSB SeaWorthy Home. A place to find your favorite coastal living lifestyle decorating needs and wants. http://on.fb.me/1oaJPxG Seabrook Logowear Shop. Grab a souvenir to remember your time at Seabrook; sweatshirts, t-shirts, coffee mugs, sea shells, and more. Call 360-276­-0265 Crafty Christine. Unique jewelry and accessories. Housed inside an Air-stream trailer on Front Street. www.facebook.com/SirenSalvage The Salty Dog. A one-stop dog shop for dogs and their humans. From toys, food, beds, cute little sweaters and rain-gear, and self- serve dog washes they definitely have your special one in mind. They have dog lover gifts and books too. www.shopsaltydog.com

Visiting Seabrook: The Nantucket of the West * I wrote this piece for my magazine writing class, I hope you like it! Quaint little community, alluring tourist trap, refined urban town, beachcombers’ paradise – Seabrook, Washington has numerous faces.