#my parents hated monster high the most tho
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agentoffangirling · 2 months ago
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As a kid, I recall that I was only able to watch certain types of shows. Disney Channel and Nickelodeon were completely off-limits, bc 1, we didn't want to have to pay for it, and 2, they taught "bad morals". Which meant the only content I consumed was PBS Kids
And hey, I'm not complaining about that. PBS Kids really and truly is a good channel, I give it credit to the person I am today. But if you were thinking that Nick and Disney were the only ones, oh no no, my parents' disapproval extended to other things
I was a really big fan of "Ever After High" when I was younger, and one time I invited a friend over to watch it with me. My mom walked in, wrinkled her nose, and asked us to change it. Later on, when I asked why, she said that the girls were too skinny and wore too much makeup
Which. I understand, it's important for young girls to not have self-esteem issues early on, but like
It's Ever After High. It has good lessons, if you're so worried about a bad influence, just tell them the body types are unrealistic and watch it with them. Easy. No need to shut it down for years and years lol
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sadisthetic · 5 months ago
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hi. this is my dnd character for toonkind dnd that i first made 7 years ago that ive recycled twice now because i wanted to finally play an ongoing campaign with him. for his third life, not only did i give him a design update, hes also has undergone a MAJOR overhaul in terms of personality and backstory tho i kept some bare basics the same (human ranger with urchin background who LOVES swords and knifes A LOT. and that he has an ambiguous age) the overhaul includes the isekai. and that hes a cunt now. but hes funnier now too lol.
im adding some more details and trivia about him under the readmore
so like if it isnt obvious the double isekai is meant to mirror the fact that i fucking played with him in 3 separate campaigns now. its part of him metatextually now lol. he was such a different guy tho. an EXTREMELY LOYAL guy. now hes significantly more selfish. and rude as hell. but hes not that to be mean or malicious. hes actually a pretty nice guy hes just extremely inconsiderate bc he prioritizes his own wellbeing most of the time. its how he had to grow up
copy pasting this tweet i wrote about him "blade at 15 was a guy that shouldve been playing halo while drinking monster but instead hes a guy stealing apples and eating mushrooms off tree bark. miraculously few instances of poisoning all things considered"
he wouldve been a fucking gamer otaku fr. he got isekaied in the mid 2000s and as a kid he fucking LOVED watching dragonball on saturday mornings. if he got to be a teen on earth, he would eventually found the anime and gaming subcommunities online BUT ALAS. he grew up trying to catch fish with his bare hands. or at least he did until he gave up quick and ate weeds.
also. despite the hardships. hes like. fine? somethings wrong with him. but its not trauma. he didnt mourn his parents much although its not like he couldve done anything with their freshly isekaied corpses when immediately hes being chased by fucking beasts. its okay they were like b-tier parents. (hes definitely not a normal person.)
he wandered the woods trying his best to survive alone and in spite of everything trying to kill him (including the shit he ate...) he ended up in a nearby(?) town and things got a bit easier after that. because he could fucking steal to eat real food now. he stayed in the woods on the outskirts of town bc no one showed grace to a thief and just dropped in every so often to swipe shit. steadily he learned forage (through sheer trial and error)
he was highkey a menace. but eventually in his late teens, a traveling party gave him an idea to like fucking. get a job. as something. he managed to make it work as a ranger/guide for hire
he fucking loves booze. he absolutely underage drank. when he could steal it. and later pay for it. and also even though he could pay for things as an adult, he still steals shit if he thinks he can get away w it (he has an absurdly (or at least pretty) high sleight of hand stat)
before he got isekai'd a second time, went through a CATASTROPHIC DIVORCE with an elf woman who he met in an expedition party who became enamored with him after he saved her life. the uh. fallout happened bc blade didnt realize (and still hasnt realized) that hes kinda aro (fundamentally did not understand her romantic intentions and thought she was just a friend wanted to hang out w him a lot. those were dates.) and his ex didnt realize how onesided it was bc she was so love with him. geez.
also. he was from arizona. hes half white half mexican. but with all the time spent not speaking spanish in a different fucking world, it made any spanish speaking skills he had atrophy to hell. it happens and it was bound to happen bc he was so young and had like no reason or opportunity to practice.
also he chose his name. he hated his lame ass name so much he was like "wait. i dont have to use it anymore." but he was 13 fucking years old. anyways he thought blade sounded cool for a name. knifedad happened later when he got his first knife. he still had a bad naming sense. he was 14.
also although his ethics are kinda wack, whats important to note is that he ultimately doesnt want anyone to like. die. its like his policy. save people that he can while trying his best to not die himself
he also has a soft spot for kids. whether hed bc a good dad is debatable but like. i think hed be a nice one
most important note: his longsword is named Darla, his dagger is named Samantha, the knife in his pack is named Nicky, and his newly acquired strange glowy sword is named lucia, and he wants a cool greatsword very very very fucking bad
i drew him in his under clothing also so that i could have a better sense for his body type when i designed his new outfit im adding it here too. he has a shitton of scars bc hes the type that pisses ppl off that they wanna shank him and also he routinely eats shit a lot. a lot of the scars in this sketch are pretty random except for one specific injury for a certain backstory event i have in mind
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i-am-xp-64 · 6 months ago
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Because why not-
(And because I want to explain stuff about him a little more, don't ask, I'M HYPED-)
fact 1:
lim has Thalassophobia which means fear of deep water, he can go in the water till the knees but not the whole body, he also don't know how to swim-
Fact 2:
Lim doesn't know much about outside world or outside danger, ever since he were adopted by horrible people till 17,he been slaved and locked in the house with no permission to go out, he only know some stuff from the tv and the people who raised him(which is in terrible ways)
Fact 3:
When I told that lim been thru "many type of abuse/torture" you can expect the very worst one (I won't say because it's a sensitive topic about something that happened to me and I also don't like to talk about it)
Fact 4:
Some of the parts in lim's backstory is based on my past traumas (I won't say which ones, don't ask.) Also same with some of the people in the story are created base on real people I met (like monster and dragon, soon you might meet new people I will gonna mention)
Fact 5:
Lim is mostly a violent toxic person cause all he seen from people since he were a kid was all abuse and stuff, so he doesn't really know much about how bad those actions are but he never ment any harm to anyone unless things get serious
Fact 6:
The feeling is the reason how lim become an undead
Fact 7:
Lim is an ex worker at brimfero laboratory and killed by Mason and john for trying to steal some stuff from them
Fact 8:
Lim is bi and short (no surprise-)
Fact 9:
Lim as a low healthcare system that his past home caused, cause him to get sick most of the time
Fact 10:
Lim likes to eat ketchup, not with anything, just straight up ketchup, it were an addition since 11
Fact 11:
Lim hates me the most-
Fact 12:
Lim is a Spongebob and salad fingers kid, his favorite shows and the only shows he always watched when he were little
Fact 13:
Lim were actually named "lablim" but soon after they changed his name to lim only
Fact 14:
Lim's birth parents are both unknown and known as dead
Fact 15:
Even tho lim is 17, he's is quite an alcoholic and drug/cocaine addicted, due to him left alone after he run away and only people who look after him on the streets were highed up people (W guys)
Fact 16:
Lim were a daddy's boy, but soon after he start hating parents cause he never got a good one and thought that's how parents are
Fact 17:
Lim were on his close years of graduating high school but died before graduation
Fact 18:
Lim worked like 3 jobs before
- brimfero worker
- night club DJ
- janitor
Fact 19:
Lim as a crime count(updated)
- robbery
- organ selling
- scamming
- kidnapping
- drug dealing
- people stalker
- murder
- mind control (an ability from the feeling)
Fact 20:
He can take his head off, like pop! It's out, he also can crack his joints and didn't die (since he's an undead)
That's all-
Lol
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ihatethiswebsite77 · 2 years ago
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Watching "it's a Jersey thing". I am beyond confused and in disbelief as to what prompted Cartman to say that
"Deep down you're a monster, but you're my little monster" line.
My working theory is that part of the reason Cartman hates and constantly rips on Kyle for things about him that he can't inherently change, and why he paints a narrative where he assigns those traits a negative meaning even tho they aren't negative in nature is because he is subconsciously annoyed that there is nothing "naturally" negative about Kyle. Kyle is pretty much a well adjusted kid for the most part, but his negative personality traits do come out a LOT when he is interacting with Cartman, but there's nothing about where he 'comes from' that's negative. He has a happy and healthy family, he knows his dad, his parents have respectable jobs, etc.
As opposed to Cartman, who is deluded about being "naturally big boned" which is something for which he is constantly being ridiculed, as well as his mother being a "crack whore" which is also something that he is constantly being ridiculed for. He can't change who his mother is, (and while he could lose weight) he doesn't really believe that cuz like I said he is deluded by his mother into thinking that that's just how his family is.
So when he finds out Kyle is from new Jersey, he immediately jumps to ripping on him about it. Because it's something that Kyle is just "naturally" that everyone in town actually considers to be a negative trait.
But then, when Kyle actually shows that Jersey side to everyone, and it stops being just a way for Cartman to do his usual thing of assigning negative traits to things Kyle is, even tho for once he actually has ground to rip on Kyle for, Cartman is very chill with him.
Almost like, knowing that deep down inside Kyle actually has that "monster" in him brings comfort to Cartman, because now he feels like Kyle is a bit more similar to him.
The "he's just like me fr" of it all.
Or maybe I'm just reaching for the high heavens with this analysis. Who knows.
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see--sea · 4 months ago
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Hey Tumbler!!!! This is my first actual post lol, and I wanted to make it me info dumping :3. This is all stuff I wrote about one of my OCs and I hope yall love her as much as I do
(PS there is some swearing so, yeah :D)
Her name is Penny (short for Penelope (NOT IT IS NOT A EPIC REFERENCE)) She/Her and she is a “Straight Christian girl” who just so *happens* to have a “special interest” in the HOTTEST girl in school. She lived her life normally, going to school, getting *average* grades, she when to church on Sunday, the whole chick and kabotal :3. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, she’s in band (cause of course, what do you take me for? A MONSTER?) and she plays flute :D. She had both of her parents together still, a younger brother named David, and a dog named Goober. You could say she basically had a perfect life, to her it was that at least. She had lots of friends, right? I mean, she was basically one of the most popular girls in school. Well, everyone did know penny, and she was the most popular girl in school for YEAR, until one new girl transferred to their high school. Piper was her name, and DAMN did she gain traction fast. She was initially accepted onto the cheerleading team (that didn’t matter to penny as she was in the marching band ✊) and all of the students started paying attention to HER instead of penny. And Penny was 👏M👏A👏D👏. Don’t get me wrong, she has always been in and out of popularity, but something about piper just, AH, but she did know what. After many months of just HATING Piper, she went to go talk to her priest about it. The priest, sounding a bit off from usual, gives her a drink the he says will “calm her down”. She, being told by her mother to always trust the priest, drink the gold-ish drink. Penny feels, find ig? She still DEFINITELY hates Piper, but like, it’s not like a hate hate anymore? She doesn't know how to describe it fully. Anyways she goes home, just, feeling normal per usual. She has dinner with her family, she showers, brushes her teeth, does her whole routine. Something was a little off tho when she started brushes her teeth thought. She had a, tail? No that couldn’t be, she look behind her and it wasn't there. She look back in the mirror and IT WAS THERE AGAIN. “WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON” she said to herself. Just thinking she was so exhausted, she went to bed soundly. The next day she got up LATE in the day. Luckily it was the weekend, so she didn’t really mind. She looked at her alarm clock and it was…. 16:00!!!! JESUS, she normally wakes up at 11 at the latest in the weekends, BUT 4 PM?!?!?!?! She rushed to her bathroom, hoping she wasn't just going crazy, (and to absolutely NO ONES SURPRISE) she looked in the mirror, and her worst nightmare came true. She was a DEMON! She had two long red horns, two scaly wings the size of her arms, and still from yesterday, her tail. She SCREAMED, almost shattering the mirror. Her mother ran upstairs, “honey are you ok?” Said her mom, looking like she just say a ghost. “I’m hideous, oh my god I’m discussing” Penny repeated what felt like a million times. Penny's parents not knowing what the hell to do, take her to the church as that was the last place Penny went to before she went back home. They burst through the church doors, yelling for the priest to help them with there daughter who is sobbing her eyes off. The priest came running out. “Let me take her to the back, I can help her there. You will have to stay here” he states to them, still not fully sounding like himself. He probably just has a cold everyone has been thinking. The priest takes Penny to the back of the church. She stops fully crying, only having a few tears left in her eyes, only to see a SATANIC CIRCLE ON THE GROUND. What was the priest was now a full on demon, looking like he was about to sacrifice Penny! “WAIT, NO PLEASE STOP” she screaming at the demon. “Ooooooooo, so your a screamer huh? The boss is gonna like you” Penny is in absolute shock. The demon can talk? What dose he mean screamer? WHAT BOSS? SATIAN? “WAIT NO, ILL DO ANYTHING, PLEASE” she screams, what feels as if she is ripping her vocal cords apart. The demon freezes, and slowly turns his head towards Penny, with the worlds biggest smirk as if this wasn't his first time doing something like this
Thank all for reading if ya did. I probably won’t post often lol, but if I do it will probably be about more OCs :3
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derangedanomaly · 4 months ago
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Here we go again lol
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(Couldn't find the link sryy)
21. "Mh, I don't rly like my hands I think?"
22. "Probably like- stamina and intelligence?"
23. "Well.. I do it myself? I think I would understand, but it depends on the lie honestly"
24. "I like the cold^^"
25. "... I don't like saying it honestly, but I like hearing it, and not saying it back is sooo rudeeee"
26. "... I hate doing it"
27. Just laughing
28. "... Yeah.. "
29. "Pretty high"
30. "Many things! I don't think I should name them tho, idk who's listening after all"
31. "Who the hell needs food anyways" <- isn't a messy eater tho
32. "Mh...I can tell you which one made me feel the most loved? ^^"
33. "Ohhh:D called it, every moment with Ace tbh lol"
34. "Touch. Because I like hugs, and when killing I like to feel the blood and organs"
35. "Mh, depends"
36. "Mh, if I won't get killed, I'd ask Nm abt passive,it's rly interesting to me, and I like Nm! ^^ and I like passive, well- the one I know abt at least"
37. ".... I would say the past, but I would change so much and wouldn't meet Ace.. So the future! ^^"
38. "..my parents, toriel and asgore? Prob also Chara and asri-.. Flowey."
39. ".. I'm used to being alone.. So alone I'd say"
40. "I'm afraid of many things honestly, like monsters, I also hate it when ppl are taller then me cuz it makes me feel vulnerable.. But rly fear?.. Uhm.. I always start panicking when chaos gets mad or sad in anyway... hes.. pretty unreadable in those moments.."
21. "I'm not very fond of my face...it brings back bad memories......"
22. "Probably strength and intelligence. I mean- I have a fucking PHD."
23. "..... Next question."
24. "I like the cold weather, for... obvious reasons.."
25. "Telling someone you adore that you love them is not hard.. I like saying it only to Kris. Everyone else can honestly just fuck off-"
26. "I do not try and search for help. It's too late for me to be honest. What else is there for someone that lost it all?"
"HEY! THAT'S MY FUCKING LINE-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ZEST FEST-"
Seems like we have a small disturbance! Apologies.
27. "....... You're kidding. Right?" Of course he did lol.
28. "..I don't know. No one ever tried tickling me before. I mean... When you're in Nightmares realm, not many people go up to you and tickle you. Actually- let me rephrase that! No one ever comes up to me and tries to tickle me."
29. "I killed hundred upon hundred monsters, and humans. You really think that my pain tolerance would be low? Tch. Of course it's HIGH."
30. "Oh... I'd tell you.. but do you really think I would trust you enough to tell you?"
31. "The only messy eaters are Ted and Blade, not me."
32. "...." He's dead quiet...
33. ".....////" He's refusing to answer and avoids eye contact...
34. "Probably vision or hearing... I tend to rely on those senses the most.. heh.. why? Well wouldn't you like to know..."
35. "I don't try and make small talk. Why talk at all if you have nothing intelligent to say?"
36. "The only only that would be brutally honest is probably Nightmare... I mean- don't get me wrong! Chaos and Ted are honestly pretty blunt too. But they both sugar coat it... Uh... I don't know what I'd ask him though... Probably why he's so cruel. But he'd most likely avoid to answer this question."
37. "Realistically? The past.... Honestly? Future, so I could be finally dead-"
38. "Oh...well.... Probably the twins- I mean... Nightmare and Chaos.. but both had different effects. I like Chaos more.. I- have to admit that I'm a bit of a fan of his- Don't Tell him that though."
39. "I'd rather be alone... But I'm tied for life to the king.. Nightmare. So... I don't really have a choice. Do I?"
40. ".... Nightmare... But- I honestly fear Chaos more than Nightmare- for some unknown reason... Like- yeah, Chaos isn't the one pulling the strings! But I feel as though Chaos has a... Problem with his emotions at times..? May be because he's a clone, and doesn't really know about emotions.. I spend a week trying to decipher what exactly is going on with him, but I just- can't figure it out.."
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cardanfckinggreenbriar · 2 years ago
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the stolen heir thoughts
so apparently people are not liking this book. which icl is a little bit WILD to me because i thought it was brilliant.
but here are my thoughts on why that *might* (emphasis on MIGHT don't come at me if you have some ✨quirky✨ reason for why you didn't like it i literally don't care) be the case.
there will be some spoilers ahead, i will try to limit them, but you guys are pretty unpredictable anyway, just don't say i didn't warn you.
most people reading this duology have come straight from tfota (and if you're not wtf are you doing here, go sit your ass down and read tcp, you demon) and if that's the case, there is a high likelihood you are a reader who idolises jude and cardan and puts them on a pedestal (AS THEY DESERVE ABSOLUTE BEAUTIFUL ICONS.) and you know, although we were warned by holly that this first book would be in suren's perspective, it's not so comfortable to not only be so tantalisingly close to them and not see them (we want our babies back), but to see them, to see this world, to see other characters, too (like oak), through a completely different lens.
i've heard people saying it's flat for that, and i get we're returning to a world, it might feel like holly is just doing some recycling but icl i kinda really love the book for that, and it also seems like a really holly thing to do.
i mean sure, i could have maybe lived without madoc's return, but i also think that it really works.
back to the point tho, for suren, this is a very different world, her relationship with it is different, and the people in it, though familiar to us, are not to her, and i think the main thing to take away from this is to remember that not one of these characters are clear cut heroes or villains. they're people.
jude, to suren, is just a cold, harsh, strategic mortal queen — funnily enough, suren probably didn't get to read tfota, so hasn't experienced jude the way that we have, and the same for other characters that we are familiar with.
i mean think about it, when we read tfota and suren was described as 'creepy' and all that, did we bat an eyelid? no, we accepted it, mainly because we were seeing suren the way that jude and her family were, as a monster girl, whose parents wanted her to marry oak, and we didn't want that. we see it politically, also. when we see this through suren's eyes, all of a sudden, it's heartbreaking, and ofc it is, because she was a child, and she was being manipulated and used, she wasn't saved, she wasn't treated with any sort of love, from anyone.
but jude couldn't give her that love. for so many reasons. but still, that makes her seem like less of a hero (again, not that she was one to begin with.)
and if they're not the heroes anymore, if our way of seeing things suddenly becomes blurrier and less defined, where does that leave them? we feel like everything becomes less stable, because in most books, we're used to the protagonist telling us how we should feel.
so it feels like the possibility of things going south for our favourite characters is all too real, and no one likes that. i hate the idea of jude and cardan not getting their perfect happy ending, whatever that looks like... but i'm not too sure that i want it to look any different to how we expected it: them being in love, high king and queen forever and ever and having lots of children, until they get too old and tired and decide to retire together.
of course, the plot itself also destabilises the chances of this, but i won't go into that in detail here just in case someone with a taste for chaos has decided to read this far (!! i said begone, demon !!)
but here's the thing, like i said, in holly's books, the characters are first and foremost people. jude makes mistakes, does so many horrible things, and tbf in the reading community, we have a bit of a nasty habit of glorifying that, and just saying slay, she's a badass (which she IS, but also guys... murder... bad...?), especially when it's the main character (see the way people still villainize taryn... but that's a whole other discussion.) and what does that mean? it means independence. yes there's mention of fate in the books, but there is independence and true character growth.
now here's the thing. we have a whole other book to come. i doubt that holly is going to leave suren where she is (unless she does which could also be so cool and open up a whole new universe of opportunity for the direction in which elfhame goes and whilst this might be completely evil, i could so get behind that. ANYWAY) why is holly writing suren? what are suren's fears? what is suren's motivation rn? if we examine all of these things, we see that wren is still grappling with all of these things, and that the position she is in right now isn't going to help her or satisfy her.
suren's whole life has been dictated by the greed and megalomania of the people around her. she is suffering because of that exact greed and megalomania. power will not heal her, not like this, at least.
and finally, coming to oak. holly has already played the 'i-don't-want-to-be-king-but-ends-up-being-one-and-a-really-good-one-because-i-didn't-want-to-be-one-in-the-first-place' card with cardan. i don't personally think she's planning on playing it again with oak. i think it's a really clever way of suggesting at it, and reminding us, and showing us what we're used to, but i think oak is being honest. ofc, i also HOPE he is being honest.
there is also the next book's title to think about (the prisoner's throne) but in all honesty, i don't think speculating on that will be worthwhile. holly really could throw anything at us.
i have a couple of other thoughts, about jude and cardan and what might be going on there, but those thoughts don't really sit right with me and aren't really constructive to the happy endings lol so i don't like them and will not be sharing bc i do not have to !! 🥰
all in all, if you didn't like it because of what it suggests for our favourite high king and queen... anything could happen. i trust holly to write a book that truly devastates us all. but i hope that i've also shown you that what she has written is not unjustified. i'm not going to conclude with a what i think will happen, even though i have very strongly suggested it because i don't want to jinx anything... if i'm wrong, i'm wrong, and i'll happily be wrong, though i know my happiness isn't guaranteed...
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xdeusxmachinax · 2 years ago
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I posted 1,362 times in 2022
219 posts created (16%)
1,143 posts reblogged (84%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@theoldandnewfirm
@bl00dw1tch
@katanamasako
@goldenokamigirl94
I tagged 68 of my posts in 2022
#apple - 6 posts
#lemon - 2 posts
#nope spoilers - 2 posts
#nope - 2 posts
#this sparks joy - 2 posts
#i love this nerd - 1 post
#why does thsi hour exists - 1 post
#seriously tho i'm okay just - 1 post
#likewise! - 1 post
#spoilers - 1 post
Longest Tag: 125 characters
#not taking part but i'm sitting in my lawn chair sipping a drink and watching the kids run around and play and its delightful
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Hey! I have a shy friend. Please reblog this to help me find artists who would do NSFW Trollhunters commissions!
41 notes - Posted April 26, 2022
#4
qhy do you hate morando?
There's just so little personality to him beyond 'Evil Meanie.'
He and Gunmar kill thier own guys. But when Gunmar does it, it's a loss of Temper, he's out of control, losing it.
When Morando does it, he's just 'haha heeehee you're of no use to me.'
It's not the Morando is BAD I just wish we would've gotten more out of him. I also think its a fucking SIN they wrote him as being responsible for the massacre of Varvatos family instead of DARING to allow the heros parents to be politcally grey. He's not a bad character, he was just written badly.
44 notes - Posted September 25, 2022
#3
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Youtube wouldn’t let me upload so here we go. Anyone else remember this meme?
53 notes - Posted April 17, 2022
#2
Russian citizens on tumblr aren’t the enemy.
Putin is the enemy.
Corrupt people in power are the enemy.
You do NOT go into the fandom blogs of people who happen to be Russian and tell them you can’t be friends with them anymore simply because they’re Russian.
The Citizens don’t get a say in this. Or a voice. The people we share fandoms with aren’t to blame for this, and I know. I know it hurts to see Ukraine suffering, I know we feel powerless to help, so we lash out. We lash out at people we see as the enemy because it drives us crazy that we can’t do anything. That the world feels so out of control. 
But Ukraine will prevail. Good will Prevail.
And punishing Russian tumblr-users is just punching down. Russian artists have been cut off from paypal, from accurate news, they’re scared and they aren’t hurting anyone. They’re still our friends. Support Ukraine. Stand with Ukraine!
But do not treat our friends and artists badly because of their nationality. 
73 notes - Posted February 27, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Some of Stricklander’s ‘monstrous’ characteristics that don’t get discussed enough. Thing’s he’s absolutely noticed and might be self-conscious about.
-His mouth is actually just a bit larger than it should be, it goes up too high in the corners when he’s aggressively smiling.
-His arms are longer than average, long limbs are often associated with cryptids and monsters, such as Wendigo, The Rake, ect
-Yellow eyes and slitted pupils. Good guys don’t have snake eyes. ‘yellow’ is not a ‘good’ color. Poetry is not written about yellow eyes. And nothing with pupils like that is seen as decent or honest.
-Fangs. He can’t cover them completely with his lips. They aren’t the elegant incisors of a vampire or incubus, they are tearing, rending teeth of a carnivore.
-Wings. While I’m sure he loves his wings, does he ever with they had a few lines of silken fur, to soften the ruggedness? Does he ever imagine himself in steel-gray feathers, instead of the leathery look of a vulture troll?
Just, all the things we find beautiful. Does he accept them, or do they give him dysphoria, does he recognize the face in the mirror when it isn’t Walter’s?
77 notes - Posted April 16, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
@moonfrost-614-queen-of-darkness @trollhuntersstuff @merc9andazombie-rp @eir-ly-morning-tea @dad-dictatious-galadrigal
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voronuu · 2 months ago
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1 -I love Basil [from omori] because he-....i uh...i actually dont know why he literally just stuck to my brain and i cant get rid of him ;-; 2 -my favorite canon thing about him is how he puts others before himself 3 -none! 4 -honestly idk but my first thought was putting Sunny and Basil in all the monster high movies as main characters [or characters that have a large role in the show] 5 -Over and Over by Rio Romero [idk] 6 -tbh, I feel like Basil is mostly off to the side and stays in the background when around other people and friends, that's how I am. I also HC him to be anxious when it comes to speaking Infront of a group, and I'm the same way 7 -When the fandom draws him or praises [or mentions him positively] him 8 -when the fandom hates him and has a shitty reason for it [its fine to dislike him, but some fans take it too far] 9 -YES!! 10 -maybe, I hope so 11 -eh...no.. I love him, and would 100% hug and cuddle him [if he were comfy with it], but I wouldn't date 12 -i HC that he didn't go to therapy after the incident, because there weren't any therapists in Faraway and his parents didn't care to give him money to travel 13 -the 🙂 emoji, it looks like its experiencing grave turmoil 14 -Grunge or cottage core :> [if u didnt know we're talking ab RW Basil and RW Basil only [[even tho i still love HS basil]] 15 -SUNFLOWER <33333 16 -Basil x [any character such as Mari, Hero, or anyone too old or young] 17 -Basil x Aubrey, I see it as a gay man with a lesbian woman 18 -Sunny and Basil have a really close friendship, I really want a friendship where me and the other person are super close like that 19 -erm, uh, none 20 -sunny 21 -Im constantly writing mini stories [never posted them], I really like fluff, and angst, Im not going into detail but I like writing about death and self destruction [that's how you KNOW I like a character, if I start writing about dark shit like that] :> 22 -when they make him super creepy or when they make him a genuinely unlikable character -any picture of Basil Is my fav :3 23- any picture of him is my fav 24- Maybe Chihiro Fujisaki [one of my top favs] from Danganronpa? 25- I thought he was cute, didn't like when he was absent for most of the game bc he was missing 26- uhh, idk, I'm getting a Basil haircut on Sunday and a Basil plush when they restok
CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫
Send a character + one or more of these question IN THE INBOX. Don't reply on the post!
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
10. Could you be best friends with this character?
11. Would you date this character?
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?
17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?
23. Favorite picture of this character?
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!
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punkcherries · 3 years ago
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book 3 mundane au where nothing abt the other 3 books changes but book 3 doesnt happen and simon and grace never board the train and hazel isnt a denizen but is instead ryan and min’s adopted daughter and simon and grace are coworkers at a mall or a gameshop like that one doodle i did forever ago
#cherryz txt#infinity train#this came to me in my headache induced 5hour nap haze#i want an excuse for jesse and lake to also be there to terrorize simon and grace at work so the current explanation#is that jesse's parents are good friends of min and ryan and the cosays and the akagi-parks visit eachother frequently for like#holidays or vacays or whatever. ryan and min are just jesses fun gay uncles. jesse is like hazels cool older cousin. HAZEL AND NATE R BFFS#jesses parents probably met ry and min while they were still on tour..... jesses parents telling stories abt being Young and Wild#hangin out w their rockstar pals before settlin down in arizona to have jesse n nate#lake enters the picture and ryan and min are immediately concerned for jesse 'DID U GET ATTACKED BY ANY WEIRD ARM MONSTERS ARE U OK'#i dont have a good explanation for grace being in canada rn. current working idea is she moved there for uni reasons or 2 get away from home#either way grace n simon dont meet until theyre both much older than when they met on the train#oh or maybe grace and simon were internet pals for a while and now that grace is 18 shes just like roomie time!! LOL#i was thinking taht the mall or gameshop or whatever is nearby ry and min's guitar shop#n thts how shenanigans between the various parties ensue#grace wants to explore the city and winds up chilling at the guitar shop sumtimes. hazel is vaguely aquainted w simon before grace enters#the scene and hazel thinks simon is kinda scary™ cus hes not good w kids. grace is great w kids tho. fun big sister energy#not always the most responsible but thats wht ry and min are there for its fine JHFDK#jesse lake nate and hazel all get lots of fun out of messing w simon. Simon Is Bullied By Children: The Movie: The Musical JFHDKG#i hada  lot of thoughts while i was in my headache induced fugue state#EDIT: WAIT WAIT SIMON IS JUST THE 'I FUCKING. HATE. HIGH SCHOOL. THEY MAKE ME DO THE FORTNITE DANCE AND SHOUT GO WHITE BOY GO' MEME HEREGJHD
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balkanbitch · 3 years ago
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Elsa mirabel au because fuck it this is the point of my life I am at now
- mirabel gets a gift at 5 years old and its just a copy of elsa from frozen
- everyone excited exploring the giant ice castle that is inside mirabel room
- but that night alma still asks bruno to have a vision. in that vision he something very similar to what the trolls said about elsa in frozen. It's still a split vision still, one side showing mirabel loved and adored for her powers the other showing her powers growing to the point she can't control them and making everyone hate her
- bruno not wanting a similar life for his niece as him he retreats in to the walls
- as mirabel grows so do her powers. ice often sprouting when she does not mean for it to or when she feels anything strongly
- this eventually becomes so damaging to the things around her that alma makes her wear gloves when she is not in her room
- she spends most of her time trying to keep her powers under control
- her parents aren't a big on alma treatment to there daughter but when they bring it up to alma they immediately get shut down
- mirabel often finds a hard time finding her place in the community since most people find her powers destructive and don't her around
- mirabel can still leave the home but she needs to be wearing the gloves
- when she is 8 or so she is playing and she accidentally covers half of that's years crops in snow and isabela has to come fix them
- after this event alma will not allow mirabel to leave the house unless accompanied by someone
- as she got older she did find that kids quite liked her powers especially since they never got to play with snow
- as time went on tho mirabel came more reversed no longer wanting someone in her family constantly puppy guarding her incase she makes a mistake whenever she leaves the house
- her parents are often checking in on her making sure shes okay. Wanting to take her outside for a walk sometimes she'll take them up on there offer but most times she won't
- luisa is often very concerned for her but can never do anything because the amount of jobs she has. Isa has grown somewhat resentful of her sisters (mostly mirabel) since she feels as if they both left her alone with such high expectations (even tho she knows deep down there lifes aren't easy)
- since mirabel is home most of the time she becomes the sorta dedicated babysitter to Antonio when hes born
- causing them to grow close
- one other thing that is different in this au is that at someone gift ceremony they can choose someone to walk with them
- Antonio chooses mirabel
- when it's time for the ceremony and mirabel is about to walk down with Antonio to get his gift some townspeople point out mirabel is still wearing gloves. Alma not wanting to ruin there reputation tells mirabel to take them off
- mirabel spends the whole walk up anxiety ridden almost freezing Antonio hand to her own
- Antonio gets his door and they take a picture but forget mirabel just like in the movie
- mirabel walks outside to see the cracks form and runs to get alma
- when the cracks aren't there and alma says something rude about mirabel ( She goes a little meaner then she did in the film) People start whispering about her and her family looks at her likes shes crazy, she loses it
- she unconsciously pushes a bunch of prickly ice forward causing everyone to look at her as if shes a monster
- everyone ignoring her out burst and going back to the party
- not knowing what to do she runs unknowingly leaving encanto in a eternal winter.
- no one notices since there all in Antonio room until people start leaving and watches as snow falls from the clouds and everything is covered in ice
- furious, alma makes everyone looks for mirabel but no one can find her
- luisa decides that shes going to look for her sister by herself when she tries to the rats her stop and guide her to the walls
- there she finds bruno, bruno over the years had one more vision where he sees both isa and luisa going on adventure out of encanto
- luisa after promising to bring bruno out from the walls once there done with there adventure goes to retrieve isa
- isa is less then willing to help at first until luisa says that it's in brunos vision so there meant to do this
- so they both set out to find there sister
- unknowingly to them camilo and Dolores follow
- meanwhile mirabel has ran to the nearest mountain range where she finally gets to let her powers out. She builds herself an ice castle and is pretty set to live life in isolation
- after walking for quite awhile isa and luisa find where there sister is. They beg her to come back but she refuses until they mention that encanto is stuck in eternal winter. She then agrees to go back and fix it but then never return
- as they walk back they get lost and take longer than expected to get back. During this time they start to bond more as sisters and get closer
- little do they know there being followed by a group of men who has seen mirabel powers and want to use them for themselves
- when there quite close to getting back to encanto there attacked by these men. While there fending them off mirabel accidentally hits both of her sisters with her ice freezing them both soild
- this causes her emotions to go wild causing a huge blizzard taking out the last of the men mirabel cries to her sister statues
- camilo and Dolores who have been following push through the blizzard and are shocked to see what happened and can't even do anything. they don't if they should yell at mirabel or comfort her
- eventually her admiration and sisterly love for her sisters melts them (similar in frozen) and they all come together for a hug
- they return to encanto and mirabel clears the eternal winter. Alma is about to yell at all of them but they stand up to her. all the sisters have come to an understanding of eachother and learn they don't need to live up to her standards
- after the three of them stand up to alma the candle burns brighter than before and all the cracks start to heal. Alma starts to understand that she was the reason the rifts in her family started causing her to reconsider her ways
- the family now makes an effort to try and understand eachother. All of them are able to express there emotions to the fullest extent.
- mirabel gift becomes an endless source of entertainment for all with her beautiful ice shows and ice parks for kids
- luisa sticks to her promise and get bruno out of the walls
- everyone is glad to have the family back together and that they've all become more understanding
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januarymoreau · 3 years ago
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alright so I know literally no one cares about this but it’s my social media I’m doing what I want /lh
I’ve been seeing a lot of slander about justin russo on the internet lately and I’m currently hyperfixated on wizards of waverly place so here’s why justin is an awesome character/doesn’t deserve the hate he gets
He’s kind and treats those he loves well. Justin is canonically really good at comforting people. Although he argues with Alex a lot, at the end of the day, he’s also her older brother and genuinely cares about her. When Professor Crumbs threatens to take Alex’s magic away because she doesn’t turn her report card in, Justin says that Crumbs will also have to take his magic away. Justin is ultimately selfless. We see again and again the sacrifices he makes for Alex and I think we mainly see his kindness in that relationship. Despite that, I think he’s also notably kind to Juliet. When he finds out that he made the mistake of reporting Juliet and her parents, he instantly tries to fix it. Not only does he try to fix it, but he puts his job as Monster Hunter in jeopardy for Juliet and her parents - her parents haven’t even been that nice to him. Justin is ultimately selfless and at the end of the day, he sacrifices himself or what he wants for others. When Rosie turns back into a good angel, instead of selfishly continuing to date her and keeping her in the mortal world (which he could have done - she literally offers to stay with him), he gives her up because he realizes the world needs a guardian angel more than he needs a girlfriend. Even though it hurts because he loved her, he gives her up. There’s no “award” for doing this - he won’t move up a level in the wizard competition, he really won’t get any recognition for giving Rosie up. He doesn’t even get any recognition for turning the moral compass back to good. He does it because it’s the right thing to do. Although later I’ll argue that Justin is constantly seeking validation, I also think that the heroic/good things he does are often done with no expectation of being praised for it. He does them because he has a strong sense of morals. He’s also kind to Harper, Zeke, his parents, and even Max, who people rarely ever show kindness to in the show.
He’s in touch with his emotions. When the show starts, Justin is very against anything that will show him as feminine or emotional. In fact, he even says he’s allergic to emotions (or something like that) to cover for the fact that he’s crying over his missing dog. As the show goes on, we see Justin start to embrace and accept his emotions more and to lose touch with his toxic masculinity. I think dating Juliet changed him in a lot of ways (making him more relaxed, etc), and I think one was encouraging him to be more emotional. After Wizards vs. Vampires, Justin is pretty emotional and open about his emotions in the show. He’s even open with talking about them. In the movie, he opens up to Alex about how he feels like Jerry & Theresa wouldn’t love him as much if he were less “perfect,” which brings me to my next point.
At the end of the day, Justin is a sad character. I know it’s a kid’s show but they really do cover a lot of issues so bear w me. I’m hyperfixated and I like to over analyze shows so I’ve thought about this a lot. Justin is the oldest, which means he already deals with pressure to be perfect. Then, add in the fact that his parents are constantly describing him as the “perfect child” and putting him on a pedestal, while pitting the kids against each other as a result of the wizard culture bc of the family competition (I love Jerry & Theresa but they’re not perfect). He’s also a high achiever and we know he puts extreme pressure on himself to do well - they always make a joke about it but it’s actually quite sad. He literally feels poorly about himself when he gets a B and bases his entire self worth on his grades and skills as a wizard. In fact, in the movie he voices doubt about whether or not he’s good at anything other than magic. I have a few things I want to say about all of this. First of all, I think Justin is constantly seeking validation. I think as the oldest and “best” child, he feels the need to be perfect all the time, but he also does many of the things he does because he just wants validation. When Harper decides to run a marathon, Justin does too, and sadly his accomplishment of finishing it is overshadowed by Harper “winning.” I also think Justin feels threatened by the success of others because he thinks it invalidates his. When he opens up to Alex in the movie, he says that he’s jealous of her because it seems like everything comes naturally to her. Justin feels as if his parents loving his siblings takes away from their love from his. It’s irrational, but very real. Which brings me to my next point - Justin has generalized anxiety disorder. It makes sense - the overthinking, the outbursts he has (Alex refers to it as a conniption once) of panic or frustration, the overachieving, etc. As someone who probably has autism, I also think he’s autistic (which would explain his troubles with tone, struggle making friends, obsessions with things like Captain Jim Bob Sherwood and science, being better w robots than people, and so much more).
Ultimately, Justin has a strong moral backbone. Although he’s a stickler for the rules and this oftentimes leads him to do bad things initially, he always does the right thing in the end. For example, when Justin and Alex go to court and Justin duplicates himself to be his lawyer, his lawyer ultimately proves that Justin is guilty; he even says something along the lines of “We’re Justin Russo. We always do what’s moral and just.” Justin has a strong sense of justice (which could also be from being autistic but I could do a whole other post about neurodivergency coding in WOWP and Disney & Nick shows overall bc there’s a ton of coding) and does what he thinks is right, most of the time. Sure, sometimes he does bad things, but he’s also a teenager at the end of the day and he’s highly competitive.
Finally, Justin Russo is super progressive - in fact, he’s probably the most progressive characters of the show. He acknowledges climate change and actively tries to create a solution for it. In fact, for his science fair project he makes a water powered engine, which would reduce carbon emissions. He also wears a shirt at one point that says “Make art not war.” I will admit that his biases against the werewolf he dated were problematic, but he clearly grew from that because he never held any of that against Mason. He’s also into science and is a nerd and although this is a stereotype, most young people who are into science and are nerds are progressive. I’m pretty sure he also is well aware of current events and would probably read the newspaper. Also I myself headcanon Justin as trans and bi (again could make another post about characters in wowp that are queer)
Little note even tho probably no one will see this - this is all just for fun. If you disagree with anything I said, just say it politely hahsh. Also please don’t make fun of me for this WOWP is a huge hyperfixation and comfort thing for me rn and I just wanted to make a silly little post where I analyze one of my comfort characters. Also I kin Justin so pls don’t like hate on him in the comments.
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c4rl4-k1nn13 · 6 months ago
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Even tho the votes not over, we can see that yes is gonna win soo!
Who is whos child
FYI i know EAH is about kids following their parents destiny, and alot of them are about women, so when its a guy with a womans tale, then they would follow that story but with it being a guy instead of a girl!
Protagonist - Child of sleeping beauty, i thought it could be funny to make someone whos days constantly repeat to make them a child of someone whos days end via sleep (doesnt wanna follow) - royal in ever after and wonderland with billy/lily/nugget
Nugget - Son of the mad matter, hes mad i mean cmon ;// (Does wanna follow) - royal in ever after/wonderland (likes to travel bewteen)
Lily - Daughter of the queen of hearts, I see her being a mamas girl and similar to lizzie (does wanna follow) - royal in ever after/wonderland (goes to visit billy and her mom alot)
Billy - Same as lily (duh) but acts a little more like allister and likes to wonder around wonderland alot (doesnt wanna follow) - royal that stays in wonderland but visits ever after high alot
Jerome - Son of Dr Fallicer (i cant spell), i dont know how to explain this but it just makes sense for me idk why (wants to follow) - Rebel stays in ever after
Buggs - son of Robin hood NO JOKE THIS IS THE ONLY ONE I COULD THINK OF ;// I CWNT BRO HELP ME (Wants to follow) - Rebel stays in ever after
Cindy - Daughter of Cinderella, she would be so cocky about it (being one of the most popular) and be such a dick (wants to follow) - Royal stays in ever after
Monty - son of aladdin, i struggled with this one lowkey and this is the best i could find for him..! (Unsure of his future) - Rebel, stays in ever after
Ted - son Prince charming (cinderella not snow white), he would basically be dexter charming, totally not like his father. (Surprisingly doesnt wanna follow) - royal that stays in ever after
Felix - son of prince charming (cinderella), he would be daring charming 100%. (Wants to follow) - royal stays in ever after
Penny - daughter of pinocchio, would be alot like cedar imo, tells the truth, her tale is being created, not born, sooo... (doesnt want to follow) - royal stays in ever after
Carla - daughter of jasmine, she fits jasmine in the whole "doesnt wanna be a regular princess" setting. (Doesnt want to follow) - royal that likes to go to wonderland with lily but stays in ever after
"Wheres ozzy" his ass is not here, i just hate writing/talking about ozzy, plus theres already 12 here so he would make it uneven
"Where the kg 3/kg 2 kids that were monsters" erm im gonna add alice and the other new kg 3 kids once the game is actually out
Room mates
Kidd and Nugget
Billy and Buggs (idk)
Jerome and Monty
Lily and Penny
Carla and Cindy
Ted and Felix
Info
Royal and Rebels dislike each other, so they do in this au (there are exceptions to some) ofc
Gonna be based on Ao3, and if yall send asks about one shots/stuff then i will answer them or write them out!!
My meadow au is still my main au tho dw
Ermm idk it works just like ever after high ;// 
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frankiekatt · 3 years ago
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Hiiii can I request maybe how would Bo (House of wax) react on his s/o "cheating" on him? He maybe walks on his s/o while they were trapped by a guy and he was kissing them, but s/o didn't actually kiss back, even tho it looked like they were kissing him back? Hope that this isn't confusing, have fun writing <3
Okay so this is set in high school, I hope you don't mind!
TW: Blood, mentions of murder
Words: 1400
Bo Walking In On His S/O Kissing Someone Else:
You were the one thing in Bo’s life that made him feel human. His mother, who was dying slowly with each passing day, always made him feel as if he was some rabid dog who could never compare to her precious Vincent, who could do no wrong in her eyes. His father, in his own words, viewed and treated him as a monster. His two brothers, however, offered him relief in his life. Vincent was his biological other half. He felt powerful next to his twin brother, a nice change from feeling so small and incapable in front of his parents. Vincent was submissive and hated conflict, which made ordering him around quite easy.
But you - you were his spiritual other half. The only person on earth he would willingly bow down to.
The two of you had met in kindergarten. Bo was loud and outgoing, while you tended to stick to yourself, not making very many friends. The two of you couldn’t have been anymore different, but that didn’t stop the both of you from gravitating towards each other.
Bo thought you were pretty and nice, and you found Bo to be funny and alluring. The two of you became fast friends, playing together during recess, coloring together and sharing snacks during snack-time.
In middle school, the two of you began to develop both physically and mentally. Bo began to see you in a different light - more than just pretty - you were beautiful and kind and when Bo thought about you his chest pounded.
For you, Bo began to grow handsome and charming, making your cheeks glow red at just the thought of him.
Once high school hit and Bo and his two brothers spent time in foster care, the two of you were inseparable. You gave Bo’s life a sense of normalcy in contrast to the death of his parents, his disfigured and troubled twin brother, and life in an uncaring foster system. You were more than happy to stay by Bo’s side, comforting him whenever he needed it. Bo’s happiness was vastly important to you, and you would do anything, sacrifice anything, do help him achieve it.
The two of you began dating in freshman year, only deepening the bond the two of you shared. The two of you were attached at the hip, spending everyday together. Bo was affectionate with you, peppering you in kisses and holding you by the waist every chance he could. To everyone else, he was rough around the edges, snarky, and unfriendly. With you, however, he was unashamed to show his love and adoration for you. He wanted you to feel special, to feel cared for. He was infatuated with you
So when he walked across the parking lot towards your car after school only to find you pressed up against the side of your red Volkswagen bug, locking lips with some blonde footballer, he felt like his world was crashing down around him.
“The fuck?” he shouted.
The two of you sprang apart, both of your faces holding a look of shock. You looked more mortified and dismayed than the boy who had been kissing you. The jock looked more startled than anything.
“Bo,” you began, voice trembling. “This isn’t....I didn’t-”
Bo smashed his fist into the blonde boy before you could finish. The boy fell to the ground with a grunt before wiping the back of his hand across his lips, revealing a severely split lip. Bo then bent down to grip the front of his t-shirt, and punched him again. “Get the hell out of here. Now.”
The blonde boy scrambled his feet, face bloodied and bruised, and rushed off before Bo could land another punch on him.
Bo could hear you whimpering behind him, but he refused to turn around and look at you.
“Bo, it’s not what you think, I swear.”
Bo let out a humorless laugh. “Not what it looks like? So the two of you weren’t making out, you were just playing pattycake, is that it?”
Tears streamed down your face, dripping off your chin to wet the asphalt beneath your feet. “No, Bo please just listen-”
Bo finally whipped around to look at you. “I don’t listen to whores like you. After everything I’ve goddamn done for you, you throw it all away for some dumb jock who couldn’t less of a fuck about you?”
Bo was hurt. It was written all over his face, swimming in his eyes, etched into his facial features. Masking his vulnerability with anger was something Bo always did, but never with you. Seeing him look at you with such contemptment and sadness made you cry harder. It reminded you of all the late nights you and Bo had spent together throughout freshman, sophomore, and junior year, baring your souls to one another as you laid in each other's arms. Bo often worried if he was enough for you, if he deserved you, and had voiced these concerns to you on more than one occasion. Every time without fail, you reassured him that he was the only one for you - that you were soulmates, and you were incapable of loving anyone else but him.
Knowing how betrayed he must feel, you attempted to reach for his hand, hoping he would be quiet for just five seconds so you could explain, but Bo jerked away from you in an instant.
“Don’t fucking touch me. You’re a liar and a slut, and this? Us? It’s goddamn over.” With that, Bo stormed away from you before you had a chance to react.
Bo had just broken up with you over a misunderstanding and your heart felt like it was splitting in half.
Bo spent the rest of the day and most of the evening in the town’s auto shop, trying to cloud his brain by tinkering with cars.
It wasn’t working. Bo’s only thoughts were of you - of your smile, your laugh, the way you hid behind him when you got nervous, the sweet way you told him you loved him. Everything about you made his chest ache. He couldn’t fathom how your pure, unbreakable relationship had ended so suddenly on a random Friday afternoon, because you cheated on him.
You cheated on him.
You cheated on him.
Why? Why why why why? The two of you had always been immensely close and faithful to each other. You had both talked about marriage, about getting out of Ambrose and starting a family together. Was that all gone now?
“Bo?”
Bo stiffened at the sound of your voice. Why were you here? He had ended things. He had made it clear that he wanted to be left alone, that the very sight of you made his blood boil.
“Go away,” he snapped.
Stepping further into the garage, you grabbed both of his shoulders and forced him to look at you. “Baby, please, please just listen to me. I did not kiss David! I would never do that to you.”
Bo shook you off of him. “I know what I fuckin’ saw. Get the hell out of here, I don’t wanna talk to you.”
“I didn’t kiss him! I swear! He came up to my car and started asking for my number. I told him I was taken, and then he just pushed me against the car and shoved his lips on me!” Your voice was cracking with every other word. “I couldn’t push him off of me. He was holding my arms down so tight he left a bruise. Just look”
Bo looked down to see you lifting up your sleeve to reveal a large purple bruise on your upper arm.
“He did that to you?” Bo snarled.
“Yes! Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Baby, I would never cheat on you, you know that. I’d rather die than betray you like that.”
Bo’s face contorted into fury. Some fucker had forced himself on you, made him think you had betrayed him, made him call you names, made him break up with you.
“I’ll fucking kill him. I’ll slit his fucking throat.” Bo grabbed you and crushed you to his chest, letting out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for calling you names and for leaving you like that.”
You let out a sigh of relief. You were back in Bo’s arms again, the one place you felt safe and secure.
“It’s okay, it’s okay honey,” you cried. “I’m just happy to be with you. I’m sorry you had to see that. I felt so disgusted with his lips on mine.”
“I meant what I said, you know,” he whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to make him suffer for what he did. I’d burn in hell for you, and I’m going to make sure that cock sucker does too.”
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jess-the-vampire · 3 years ago
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Sooooo whatya think of the new episodeee?
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Oh it’s definitely my favorite episode of the series so far, i was having such a good time at every turn. I’m glad i went out of my way to avoid spoilers, cause i was glad to actually be surprised by some elements on first watch.
I think this had by far the best opening for an episode so far, we finally get back to the villians, we meet the coven heads, we get insight on belos’s plans-
and then belos gets constipated, which starts getting into the more character driven lore, which is the best part. You instantly can tell GG and Kiki have some bit of tension between them to be Belo’s favorite, though granted i wonder if hunter is the only one to know belos is cursed and actually just always insists to help belos with his fits to prevent others from seeing them.
Including kiki.
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It’s honestly unclear how aware anyone is that belos is cursed, like him eating pailsmans is apparently not something he hides, but like....i feel him being cursed is something that people would know universally if it got out...so i’m left wondering if anyone knows besides hunter.
Regardless, belos turns into a goop monster with an angry side, and i guess his mask doesn’t transform with him compared to the rest of his body so he breaks it again because i guess he goes though masks like crazy.
Hunter turns away in this scene from his outburst and even though he’s masked here i can already tell he’s most likely pained in these scenes. Like he’s probably seen this happen so many times, and i can’t imagine it gets any easier for him, it’s probably awful to watch belos suffer like this for him (Regardless of the abuse)
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And to be honest, it seems pretty painful for him, i think this ep seems to at least confirm whatever this thing is that takes over belos’s body.....belos never actually wanted it in the first place. 
Yeah so after Hunter tells belos there’s not enough trees to medicate him anymore, we’re hit with the “UNCLE”. Which, when i first watched it i needed a second to even process the fact they confirmed their relation.
and i was like “CLOSE ENOUGH”, not his kid but uncle still works just fine for me, i’m just happy my assumption they were related actually came to ahead.
And i rewatched this episode a few times, and on second watch i realized more what happened in this scene. Hunter was talking about his interest in wild magic, and making more pailsman to help belos, and some method that could heal him and as soon as belos looked at him he instantly shut down.
He was clearly rambling about wild magic cures for belos because of his interest in it, and then suddenly remembered his uncle hates wild magic and felt super awkward.
It seems highly likely his interest in wild magic came from trying to cure belos and spending a lot of time reading up on the stuff. 
And then we get hit with the whole “Our family is dead because of wild magic” line, which.....i’m curious to know what happened there. But it does at least explain why belos feels how he does, if wild magic both killed his family beside hunter AND cursed him in the first place. We’re just gonna need more info on what exactly happened.
Also while Belos is def abusive and does not treat hunter how he should, this scene actually does read off to me like belos does care about hunter to some degree. If belos is cursed and his curse works in similar ways to how Eda’s curse works, then it’s worth reminding ppl that eda mentions early this season how stress can amplify the curse even more.
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And sure enough, belos goes goopy on hunter’s shoulder all of a sudden when he grasps him. Which could be considered a sign of stress and that the idea of hunter dying or being in danger actually does stress him.
You could very much also assume this is just due to his curse not being fully handled and just getting worse, or that belos only cares about hunter for selfish reasons....but i’m not taking anything off the table here.
Belos can still be a shitty uncle, and still care about hunter, these aren’t mutually exclusive traits. But we need more episodes for now on this.
But anyways he asks hunter if he can rely on him, kiki is pissed......and we move on.
So i’m glad luz’s impulsiveness is addressed a ton in this episode, they actually bring up a lot of good points. That luz has no plan, that the time she’s spending here might render moot if she goes back to earth, ect ect.
Hunter even calls her out a lot later for not thinking things through, it’s a whole deal in this episode. I’m glad it was brought up cause it’s actually worth asking a lot of these things.
the set up here works, they actually made a good reason for why a pailsman didn’t bond with her. Speaking of which the adoption thing is cute and i love it, it’s a great idea. The designs are all very cute and fun.
Bump face reveal was a lot for me to process, but i find the idea of his pailsman being a pet that can help with his disabilities a good idea.
Also like, i did find it odd that they got staffs so early because we’ve never seen kids their ages with them before, but i guess it’s a new tradition? Does everyone at hexside now have one?
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Honesty not sure why batqueen left the nest there overnight, i meant i guess she assumed they were safe with that shield but in context i dunno why she didn’t take them home after the school day was over.
but whatever, luz stays there overnight hoping  a pailsman will bond with her and GG just kidnapps them cause of pure luck on his part a bunch of pailsman were in a vulnerable spot tonight.
So GG continues to be charming, by whistling the theme song and then being blasted off his ship hilariously, before cockily teleporting himself right back on it seconds later. Like he and luz have great banter, he’s so extra like this it’s so funny, and god he’s so FAST with that staff it’s scary but so awesome.
Yeah so then hand dragon crashes them and i was so excited cause it meant face reveal. Poor dude looked so in pain and then we find out kiki tried to effing murder him because of course she did. But like, i think killing your boss’s nephew is the WORST way to get a promotion tbh.
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(Also i got confused for a bit cause his mask has always been drawn as a mask, but now it’s a helmet in this scene for whatever reason but-)
Anyways, face reveal, Like honestly ppl weren’t too far off with their guesses, really the only thing people didn’t get was the tooth gap (That was fair tho, we couldn’t have guessed that). But it did make him even cuter.
like the banter is funny, he licks her hand, she slaps him, he looks SO pissed at her for this mess.
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and i guess that outfit is his under armor apparently.
He’s lucky she didn’t run away immediately and followed him, but maybe he assumed she would since she had no where else to go.
Also his expressions in this ep are glorious, these had to be fun to draw.
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Also we find out that the coven team members have never seen his face i guess? They just assume he’s a silly kid and are awful to him, so i guess he’s not only the youngest member of the coven but he never really shows his face much.
(”Call your parents”, ha ha.....whose gonna tell them who his uncle is?)
He is however, REALLY good at parkour and he’s fast even without his staff, so he’s well trained alright.
And then they reveal he’s not magical and i was SO happy cause i was so sure something was up when he wasn’t doing magic like the other witches despite his pointy ears. So they outright confirmed what i thought.
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Hunter is pretty smart tho, like he can tell luz wouldn’t hurt him and wouldn’t flee so he knows he has the high ground here. Like he might be being a bit of a dick, but to be fair luz has been nothing but a dick to him throughout the whole episode (Everyone in this episode has been a dick to him tbh)
They team up and i get excited cause i love this kinda stuff and it gets more wholesome because hunter is super interested in her magic, he thinks it’s cool and you can tell how much he actually loves wild magic but then again...shuts himself down because of belos making him fear the stuff.
An then because luz asks, he tells her his backstory.
honestly with how this world treats people who aren’t magically powerful, living and growing up in a world that would find you useless sounds....awful. Hunter must be an anomaly around here, human blood or not.
Luz coming here to learn is different then growing up in a world and being the only one with no abilities and no future without them. Belos provides him with magic and a future, it’s no wonder he stays with him despite everything.
the whole “Found me” thing is weird, cause belos implies they’re blood related and hunter makes it sound like belos semi-adopted him. Which....if he did i dunno why “Uncle” and not “Adopted dad”, but ok....guess that’s for later.
Apparently hunter is important for something tho with the “Titan has big plans for me” thing, not sure what, but-
But yeah as soon as Hunter talked about wanting to make his own future and Rascal tried to land on him i knew EXACTLY where this was going, it was so cuteeeeee. The lil birb wanted to be with hunter, that’s so wholesome.
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And he’s so terrified because of belos and what wild magic did to him, the poor bab.
But yeah, luz then trusts him with his staff back, because again....impulsive. But hunter does actually ask if she’s sure, so he might as well be asking if she trusts him.
The plan goes ahead, and hunter nearly betrays her.
though granted, hunter never promised her he’d stop and let her take them away, the truce was supposed to last till kiki was stopped and they were gonna fight out who got the pailsman. But it does bother luz cause she was hopeful he was better then this.
But just like he did before, she calls him out and he doesn’t betray her, because he’s ALSO too nice to do it, just like he said she was. He says his name (Which also took a moment to process), and then beats the crap out of kiki while letting luz get away and protecting her like a badass.
He might not have magic, but he’s good at fighting
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like he can easily teleport to luz and take the pailsman, but he doesn’t, he lets them get away and luz knows this. Even though she also knows hunter has to go back to the emperor too and they have to separate.
It’s only slightly bitter terms, because in the end he came through for her and she knows it.
honestly, the worst part is i can’t even be mad at hunter for it, i’m sure he was terrified to fail belos. Both because he loves him and doesn’t want him to suffer....but also because of well...being punished. Really says something when his near betrayal doesn’t even make me mad at him, and i can understand why he nearly did it.
He let her go, knowing he’d be in SERIOUS trouble and that it would hurt someone he actually loves, so....ouch.
so yeah at this point i knew rascal wanted him so it was only of matter of what happened next.
Which was, luz getting the wood, which i like more anyway. Eda and King doing this offscreen and coming home like this is actually very funny, and honestly i appreciate the message of it being ok to wait.....means a lot to me.
yeah so belos is like...being an ass, like the kid tried his hardest, you don’t need to hit him with the “Is this the thanks i get?”. He’s a kid and he’s trying to cure you you dick, give him a break he doesn’t remotely have to help you like this.
Also apparently belos has not even told hunter HOW this happened, like...dude. Hunter is trying to be entirely reasonable here and belos spikes at him, which does imply some physical abuse though the only reason hunter doesn’t get a new scar is because he moves.
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but how he reacts implies this has happened before, he is bracing for impact and he flinches. It’s pretty sad tbh, especially since hunter loves him and belos’s respect means something to him.
Belos is such an idiot, like c’mon dude, hunter is trying to help you and you don’t listen to him you dick. Kid shouldn’t have to say sorry for anything he did nothing wrong, he was just trying to help.
Anyways, he gloats at kiki (So at the very least she knows what he looks like under the mask), which he deserves a chance to do anyway. So i guess he didn’t rat her out for trying to kill him, personally my guess why is blackmail.....he was gonna hold it over her head to keep her from doing it again and threaten to tell belos.
But kiki quickly tells he LET the pailsman get away since he was the one to fight her (Curse his cute loose hair strand). So i guess now they have dirt on each other, so that’s fun.
His room is adorable, though the med kit by the bed is concerning.
Rascal comes for him and it;s so cute....though you can tell hunter nearly hurts him on instinct because of force of habit, but it’s so cute how he cares and how the birb loves him and is his new staff.
it was well hinted to as well, it’s so subtle, but the bird being cheery, curious, and his constant habit of escaping boundaries was perfect for hunter. He represents what hunter wants to be and why they got matched is done so well, all without explaining anything.
Hunter indirectly stated his deepest wish, to make his own choices, and rascal resonated with that. 
can’t wait to see where this goes.
great ending shot, love me some conflicted shots looking out of windows like trapped birds.
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also this title was a pun the whole time i can’t-
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thomaslightwood · 4 years ago
Text
The Sanctuary || Thomastair (from Alastair's POV)
From chapter 19 & 21 from COI!
This was weird to do and even tho I had the dialogue it wasn't as easy to write as I expected. I tried to make this how I imagine Alastair's thought process and it hit a little too close to home so tried my best to do this scene justice. I hope you like it!
Alastair barely moved since the door had closed and locked behind the Consul for the last time. 
It has been hours. Alastair was rereading pages of The Prince over and over again, without actually understanding most of them. He randomly turned on pages from time to time, at least to look like he was reading.
Even without looking at Thomas, he was aware where he was in the Sanctuary. Alastair wondered what Thomas thought of him now. After founding out Alastair literally had been stalking him for weeks. Or maybe he was worrying about the fact he was accused for murder. 
At some point, Thomas walked to the door and shook it, like he was hoping even for the slightest chance that the lock and wards had failed.
“A little menacing that the Sanctuary bolts shut from the outside, isn’t it? I never thought about it much before,” Alastair said, his voice was the first loud thing in hours. 
Thomas turned around to look at him. There was something desperate in his face.
“I, er, suppose one might have to keep an unexpectedly dangerous Downworlder out, or something,” Thomas said awkwardly. Alastair looked away.
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “On the other hand, it does give the Institute a makeshift prison.”
It was a little creepy when he thought about it. A Sanctuary was supposed to be a sacred place. A place that provides safety and protection. Alastair had never thought he would be held as a prisoner here. And definitely not with Thomas Lightwood.
Thomas wandered a little closer to him. Alastair didn't look away from his book. With the corner of his eye he could see Thomas' messy hair, clothes stained with blood and dirt. His tattoo was bright on his arm.
“Why have you been following me around?” Thomas demanded. 
Alastair’s breath hitched. He didn't expect Thomas to speak to him. “Someone had to,” he said, still staring at his book.
“What on earth does that mean?” Thomas said.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, Lightwood,” Alastair said sharply. He didn't want to have a fight with him, not now. Not ever.
Thomas sat down with a thump on Alastair’s mattress. Alastair blinked at him in surprise. 
“I do want the answer,” Thomas said. “And I will not get up until you tell it to me.”
Alastair slowly set his book aside. He could see Thomas' neck, the edge of his white shirt and if he moved his gaze further below there was the promise of his chest, hidden underneath the cloth. Alastair thought about their time in Paris, in the cafe. Thomas' warm skin under his fingers. And many months later, in London, his skin was warm as he remembered it, but marked with the rose compass tattoo.
“I knew you were taking extra patrols,” Alastair said, still thinking about Thomas' tattoo. “And more than that - going out by yourself with a murderer on the loose. You were going to get yourself killed. You’re meant to take someone with you.”
It sounded logical, didn't it? Alastair hoped so because if not Thomas would reveal that Alastair followed him because he wasn't just worried Tom would get himself killed - he wanted to be close to him, to take care of him, to do something for him, even if Thomas wasn't aware of it. 
“No, thank you,” Thomas said. “All these people going out in pairs, announcing themselves every time they speak, unable to make a move without consulting each other - they might as well ring a bell to let the killer know they’re coming. And meanwhile, if you’re not on the schedule, you’re supposed to just sit around on your arse doing nothing. We’ll never catch the murderer if we avoid being out on the streets. That’s where the murderer is.”
Well, this sounded logical too, Alastair thought. Stubborn and reckless but logical.
Alastair was a little amused. “Never before have I heard such a concise statement of the ludicrous philosophy with which you and your school friends go through the world, running toward danger,” he said, stretching. “But that’s not why you were doing what you were doing,” Alastair added. “There’s a little truth to what you just said, but not the heart of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You couldn’t save your sister. So you want to save other people. You want revenge, even if this isn’t the same evil that took Barbara - it’s still evil, isn’t it?” Alastair knew what he said may sound rude and was definitely not his business. But he was also determined to speak the truth. No matter how ugly, no matter how painful. The truth must be faced.  “You want to behave recklessly, and you don’t want your reckless behavior to compromise a patrol partner’s safety. So you went alone.”
Thomas' face told him he was right. 
“Well, I don’t believe you really think that we’re stupid,” Thomas said, “or that we willingly court danger for danger’s sake. If you believed that, you would do more to stop Cordelia spending time with us.”
Alastair scoffed. Like he could stop Cordelia from anything.
“My point,” Thomas went on, an edge to his voice, “is that I don’t think you believe the rude things you say. And I don’t understand why you say them. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s as if you want to drive everyone away.” He paused. “Why were you so awful to us in school? We never did anything to you.”
Alastair winced. For a long moment he was silent. What he could tell? What he could tell to make Thomas believe he's not terrible? Maybe he couldn't. Maybe this wasn't possible. He could only tell Thomas the truth and let him decide.
“I was awful to you …,” he said at last, “because I could be.”
“Anyone can be a bastard if they want to be,” said Thomas. “You had no reason to do it. Your family are friends with the Herondales. You could at least have been kinder to James.”
This wasn't untrue, mostly. But there was so much more than this.
“When I got to school,” said Alastair slowly, the effort costing him, “loose talk about my father had preceded me. Everyone knew he was a failure, and some of the older students decided I was an easy target. They … let’s just say that by the end of the first week, I had been made to understand my place in the hierarchy, and I had the bruises to remind me should I ever forget.”
Those were painful memories. The jokes, the vicious words and the other kids' fists. Back then he thought he would never allow someone to treat him like that again, even if this meant he would become a monster himself.
“After about a year of being knocked around,” Alastair went on, “I realized I could either become one of the bullies, or suffer for the rest of my school days. I felt no loyalty to my father, no need to defend him, so that was never a problem. I wasn’t very big - well, you know what that’s like.”
He eyed Thomas for a moment. Looking self-conscious, Thomas shrank back a bit. Physically he had grown so much, his muscles were visible through the shirt. 
“What I did have,” said Alastair, “was a savage tongue and a quick wit. Augustus Pounceby and the others would collapse laughing when I cut some poor younger student down to size. I never got my hands bloody, never hit anyone, but it didn’t matter, did it? Soon enough the bully boys forgot they’d ever hated me. I was one of them.”
“And how did that turn out for you?” Thomas said in a hard voice.
Alastair looked at him matter-of-factly. “Well, one of us has a close-knit group of friends, and the other one has no friends at all. So you tell me.”
“You have friends,” Thomas said. Alastair snorted at this. He didn't. Not really.
“Then you arrived, a bunch of boys from famous families, too well brought up to understand at first what went on far from home. Expecting the world would embrace you. That you would be treated well. As I never had been.” Alastair pushed back a lock of hair. His hands were shaking. He was so bitter then, so full of anger at the injustice of the world. He took a breath, hoping Thomas didn't notice. “I suppose I hated you because you were happy. Because you had each other - friends you could like and admire - and I had nothing like that. You had parents who loved each other. But none of that excuses the way I behaved. And I do not expect to be forgiven.”
It hurted Alastair to say it, to think about it. But he really didn't think the Merry Thieves would forgive him - he wasn't surprised. If he was at their place he probably wouldn't forgive himself too. 
“I’ve been trying to hate you,” Thomas said quietly, “for what you did to Matthew. You richly deserve to be hated for what you have done.”
Alastair looked Thomas in the face. “It wasn’t just his mother I slandered. It was your parents, too. You know it. So you don’t have to—to act all high-minded about this. Stop pretending you are only upset on behalf of Matthew. Hate me on your own behalf, Thomas.”
Part of him wanted this. One small, self-destructive part wanted Thomas to hate him. To tell him so. To lash out his anger at Alastair, so he could feel his pain in his bones, to remember it and to carry it with himself like he carried his own.
“No,” Thomas said firmly. He looked so sure, like this wasn't even an option. Like it was the law of nature, something that cannot.
Alastair didn't know how to react. Tension was freezing his body and mind and he could just blink at him.
“The reason I cannot hate you is because—because of those days we spent in Paris together,” he said. Alastair stomach flipped. “You were kind to me when I was very alone, and I am grateful. It was the first time I realized you could be kind.”
Alastair stared at him. The little light they had was doing strange things to Thomas' appearance. His hair looked lighter but his face was in shadow, making his eyes seem darker and deeper than usual. “It is my favorite memory of Paris as well.” Was Alastair saying this? Was this really his voice?
“You don’t have to say that. I know you were there with Charles.”
Alastair stiffened. He looked away. “Charles Fairchild? What about him?”
“Wouldn’t that be your best memory of Paris?” Thomas raised an eyebrow.
Alastair’s jaw was rigid. “Exactly what are you suggesting?”
He didn't want to do anything with Charles anymore. He wanted to move on. But it wasn't his business to reveal Charles' secrets. Alastair wouldn't do this to him.
“I’m not suggesting anything. I’ve seen the way you look at Charles, the way he looks at you. I’m not an idiot, Alastair, and I’m asking …” Thomas shook his head, sighing. His face was different than the past few months. The way he looked at Alastair… like he was searching for something. There was a deep ache in his eyes. “I suppose I’m asking if you’re like me.” 
“Thomas Lightwood,” said Alastair. “I am nothing like you.”
If there was something in the whole world he was sure about, it was this.
He saw how Thomas' eyes widened. A pained expression on his face. Terror and humiliation were creeping in his eyes.
“I am nothing like you, Thomas,” Alastair continued, “because you are one of the better people I have ever known. You have a kind nature and a heart like some knight out of legend. Brave and proud and true and strong. All of it.” He smiled bitterly. He meant every word. “And all the time you have known me, I have been a terrible person. So, you see. We are nothing at all alike.”
Thomas’s gaze snapped up.
“I’m not—” Thomas breathed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know what you meant.” The words hung between them, neither daring to move a muscle. After a moment Alastair added in a gentler voice, “How did you know about Charles?”
“You wouldn’t tell me what you were doing in Paris,” said Thomas. “But you mentioned Charles, over and over again, like you got pleasure out of just saying his name. And when you came to London this summer, I saw the way you looked at him. I know what it is to have to hide the—the signs of affection.”
“Then I imagine you may have noticed I don’t look at Charles that way anymore,” Alastair said and couldn't not think what a lovesick fool he was.
“I suppose I did,” Thomas said, “though for the past four months, I’ve been trying not to look at you. I told myself I hated you. But I could never really make myself. When Elias died, all I could think about was you. What you must be feeling.”
Alastair winced. “I insulted your father and blackened his name. You were under no obligation to care about mine.”
Elias was something Alastair carefully avoided to think about. The unsaid words, the anger and all the disgust, resentment and undescribable loss of his father in so many ways was too much to bear.
“I know, but sometimes I think that it is much harder to lose someone who we are on bad terms with than it is to lose someone with whom all is well,” Thomas said kindly.
Tears filled Alastair's eyes. 
“Bloody hell, Thomas. You should hate me, not be thinking about what I must be feeling—” Alastair swiped at his eyes. Raziel, his kindness. It was good he didn't deserve, a blessing so precious it made him want to cry. Why couldn't Thomas just hate him? Why couldn't he be like Matthew Fairchild and hate him? It would be deserved. It would be easier. “And the worst of it is, you’re right, of course. You always understood other people so well. I think I partly hated you for it, for being so kind. I thought, ‘He must have so much, to be able to be so generous.’ And I thought that I had nothing. It never occurred to me that you had secrets too.”
“You were always my secret,” said Thomas softly, and Alastair turned a surprised gaze at him. His face was so open, so vulnerable. It was so different, they both were, since the first time they met but… at the same time so soft, so kind like it was at the Academy, at Paris and now, at the Sanctuary again. 
“Does no one know?” said Alastair. “That you—like men? How long have you known?”
“Since after I came to school, I think,” Thomas said in a low voice. “I knew what caught my eye, quickened my pulse, and it was never a girl.”
“And you never told anyone?”
Thomas hesitated. “I could have told my friends that I liked men. They would have understood. But I couldn’t have told them how I felt about you.”
“So you did feel something for me. I thought-” Alastair looked away, shaking his head. “I didn’t see you—you were this boy, following me around at school, and then I met you in Paris and you’d grown up and turned into Michelangelo’s David. I thought you were beautiful. But I was still caught up with Charles—” He broke off. “Just another thing I’ve wasted. Your regard for me. I wasted my time and my affection on Charles. I wasted my chance with you.” 
It would definitely be easier if Thomas hated him, Alastair thought with bitterness. But now, knowing he wasted his time with a man who would choose his career over Alastair every time when he could be with Thomas—it was too much. Another tragedy in his life, another wasted opportunity….
“Maybe not,” Thomas said. He sounded dizzy. “About me, I mean.”
Alastair blinked. “Speak sense, Lightwood,” he said testily. His words couldn't reach Alastair's brain. “What do you mean?”
“I mean this,” said Thomas, and leaned towards Alastair.
It was a quick kiss. Unsure and shocking and so, so sweet.
Thomas drew back hesitantly. It was obvious he didn't know if this was alright, if he wasn't crossing a line. Alastair caught hold of Thomas’s shirtfront in a firm grip. He slid onto his knees so that they faced each other; with Thomas sitting back on his heels, their heads were at the same level.
“Thomas—” Alastair began. His voice was rough, unsteady. He had a hard time getting a grip on himself. Abruptly, Alastair let go of Thomas’s shirt, started to turn his face away.
“Just imagine,” Thomas said. “What if we’d never gone to the Academy together? What if none of those things had happened, and Paris was the first time we’d met? And this was the second?”
Alastair said nothing. It was an impossible scenario. Just a comfort fantasy for the cold, sad nights that ended up hurting you more than healing you.
He smiled weakly. “Damn you, Thomas,” he said, and there was resignation, yes. Because he was so done pretending, so done hiding what he was feeling towards this amazing man. He wanted to feel every dark, forbidden and sweet thing there was with Thomas.
A moment later he was pulling Thomas toward him. Their bodies collided, awkward and thrilling. Alastair knew he was probably the more experienced of the two but he was barely aware what he was doing. 
He had never imagined he would be able to do all this. To touch Thomas' chest, his shoulders and back, his tattoo and Adam's apple. He had never imagined Thomas would tenderly kiss the arch of his throat and smile against Alastair's skin. He had never imagined he would be so happy while waiting to be proved innocent for a crime. But while he was kissing Thomas Lightwood, he thought it was worth it.
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