#my pain meds got me high again sorry guys

[bitchy-peachy]

My ass watching Laura Loomer vs Elon Musk.

Anyways

made you look

[awrkive]

THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 1 — JJK (m.)

for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.

PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader

GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 20k 😍

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, jk sluts it out quite often😞, hopeless romantic!oc, countless mentions of weddings and engagements, angsty undertones, it’s the… yearning? 97liners assemble lmao, the surgeons gang: jk, oc, nayeon, doyeon, taehyung <3, explicit sexual content [dry h*mping, making out, c*nnilingus], alcohol consumption, arguments 🤓, i personally have only acquired a degree on Bingewatching Grey’s Anatomy so my medical knowledge is.. you see.. greys anatomy 💔 BUT! i did a lot of research for this pls dont crucify me 🙏🏼 belated happy birthday jaykay, my forever muse❤️❤️

NOTES hello awrkive nation!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry this got delayed!! gave up on trying to make this a one shot cos it stretched out into 50k words IM SORRY! anyways check out my trello page for updates on my writing progress 🩷 make sure to comment down ur thoughts and like and reblog to circulate hehe !! asks are deeply appreciated!! scream your takes!! let me know what you think!! also made a spotify playlist for this mini-series soooo if u wanna listen to the songs that i think embody this fic, i've linked it below 🫶🏼

[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

For as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

The girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations and a cute little beach wedding to boot. You’re the kind of girl who thought her high school jock boyfriend would make good on his promise of keeping contact until college. That girl who thought the guy she met at nineteen at some sleazy frat party wanted more than just sex. The girl who thought that her boyfriend at twenty-one would finally be The One after introducing her to his parents on New Year’s Eve. You’re exactly the kind of girl who thought that it was smart to get a boyfriend in her first year of med school and get proposed to in fourth year.

Reality pretty much hit you hard with a big slap on the face; because you soon found out that your love interest doesn’t suddenly come into your life while you clock in your shift at a coffee shop, and there is no such thing as grand love declarations – no one wanted to profess their love to somebody at airports anymore, or even in the pouring rain, for god’d sake! And there is never going to be a beach wedding when there’s no one to do it with in the first place.

Because even if you do everything right, men just always somehow manage to do you wrong.

Your first boyfriend, Changsub, just suddenly ghosted you after you moved to a different town for college. When you saw him again for winter break, he was dating the girl from his History class – the blondie who was always the cause of your heated arguments in the lockers because you’ve always been jealous of her. Needless to say, you never talked to him again, and Changsub never bothered to reach out either.

At nineteen, you met Soohyun at a frat party your roommate invited you to. He was part of your college’s football team – the regular famous jock, and you felt a little bit special when he showed you a little bit of attention. When he chased you for a while, you caved in and had sex for the first time. You soon realized that was his thing – “popping them girls’ cherries” – as what you’ve overheard from his equally asshole teammates when you made an impromptu visit at their sweaty, stinky locker rooms – and that he apparently had a thing for girls in the cheerleading team (you were a part of it for awhile). Soohyun just told you it wasn’t working anymore. He was out and about with another girl three days later.

You swore at twenty-one, you were smarter. Heck, you got your heart broken two times already by then by the same brand of asshole with two different names and faces! You must’ve been a bit wiser, no?

But in your defense, Jaehyun was totally different from Changsub and Soohyun. He wasn’t an athlete. He was low-key… an introvert, and a total nerd. A film major guy who was so good at getting you through his art. He told you you were his muse, and you believed it wholeheartedly for the almost three years you’ve dated, most especially when he brought you to his hometown that one New Year’s Eve and introduced you to his family on your first anniversary.

You don’t exactly know what happened then… he just ran cold. Backed out of your plans of moving in together. Suddenly got so busy with his gigs when he normally would make time. Until the elephant in the room was acknowledged and it was just over before you knew it.

That relationship was your first “I love you”, Jaehyun said it was the same for him.

Fast forward, he gets married two years into the break-up, which is six years ago from the present. He has three kids now, two lovely girl twins and one boy. You didn’t go to the wedding, just sent him a post-it card that said you’re happy for him.

Which is true. He was your first love, but the heartbreak didn’t last long like you thought it would.

Because lastly, there was Eunwoo. The guy you met during the construction of the condominium near the apartment where you were staying at for med school.

Cha Eunwoo was an intern architect around that time, a nice one at that that it didn’t really take long for you guys to hit it off. Too many encounters on the street made you think that maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence anymore that he was there whenever you walked passed by. You really thought it would be difficult for you to love somebody again like how you loved Jaehyun… but Eunwoo made it easy. He did everything right. From the cute encounter, a grand love declaration in your fourth year together wherein he proposed to you in a romantic cruise ship dinner, down to the beach wedding he promised you during that night.

What was supposed to be a three-month engagement lasted longer than you both wanted, though. And it was mostly due to you because you told him you couldn’t marry yet. Not until you pass your licensure exam. Unintentionally, it stretched into a year. Eunwoo blamed it on your internship, said you were too busy that you couldn’t really give him time anymore.

You still remember that argument so vividly inside your head. When you said you told him already that it was life for you in residency. He rebutted with the sentiment that if you wanted to, you would. But you knew it was unfair of him to say that – not when he was also volunteering himself for the mountain of projects at his firm just so he could impress the senior architects there. Eventually, the engagement was called off. You two broke up. You both settled that it was the schedule conflict… you were just both so busy with your careers. Such big ambitions. So much to prove, passionate to a fault.

But two years ago, Eunwoo got married, and his wife is a general physician. The last time you two accidentally bumped into each other at a café downtown, he said he was “so happy and contented” that he felt like “taking a sabbatical to focus on being a husband”.

You guessed then he doesn’t actually mind dating doctors. Doesn’t mind making sacrifices for them. He just minds specifically you.

Your long, tragic dating history should already stop you by now from believing in love altogether. You mean, it just never works out for you, do they? The universe gives you a taste of what it’s like to embark on that journey, but it never takes you to the final destination.

But what can you say… love is just so special to you; romance, falling in love… they hold a significant place in your heart that you can’t help but bet on it every time it comes. You just have so much love to give – but unfortunately no one to give it to, because the men you date always don’t want you in the end of it all.

It bubbles up frustration in you, especially when you see all your exes getting fucking married left and right and them having the audacity to send you an invitation – and even thank you for what you’ve helped made them become. Eunwoo made that lame ass speech in the café. It’s such a subtle physical act of slapping you right on the bone of your cheeks and violently hurts you psychologically.

You’re frustrated that marriage seem to come easy for them, but never for you.

It’s why you unintentionally spat water out of your mouth when one of your co-residents, close friend, Nayeon, announced:

“Minhyuk proposed!”

Naturally, your other friends at the cafeteria attend to your spluttering, with Doyeon patting your back and asking, “Girl, are you okay?”

You shake your head repeatedly at them, tapping your chest to regulate your breathing, putting on a tight smile before turning to Nayeon.

“I’m sorry— what? Minhyuk proposed?” You ask her, and you don’t intend it to sound incredulous.

Nayeon, thank god, doesn’t notice it. And you realize it’s because she’s in a lovesick haze to care about anything else.

“Yep!” She almost squeals. “You guys are all invited to the engagement party next week on Friday.” She giggles when Doyeon pokes her side, lightheartedly teasing her about the wedding.

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you!” You say, grinning widely, but your jaw hurts from the way you forced it. You look at each one of them; Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung. “You guys are soon gonna be… married.”

Taehyung turns to Doyeon, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Doyeon’s still single, though.”

Doyeon throws a napkin at him. “It’s because your kind are bums. Anyway, Taehyung is also still not married.”

Taehyung pauses. Then, he purses his lips into a thin line, raising his eyebrows, nodding slowly.

“Well… about that…”

“He’s planning to propose to Hyerin!” Nayeon exclaims and quickly covers her mouth when some of the doctors in the cafeteria turned their heads to look in your direction. She shrinks herself small, as if realizing what she’s done, and then her eyes widen when she sees your guys reaction. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, Taehyung!” Nayeon quickly apologizes to him who looks like heaven and earth fell on him. She scrambles to say, “It’s just that I saw the ring in his locker today and so of course I have to ask and you guys met Hyerin, she’s an amazing woman and I’m so excited for her and Taehyung and she are a good couple aaand… I’m shutting my mouth.” She stops, closing an imaginary zipper over her lips when she notices the death glare Taehyung’s sending her way.

He turns to look at the rest of you.

“Well… you heard it from her.”

“Oh my god, Tae! This is insane!” Doyeon tells him. “When are you proposing?”

Taehyung shakes his head and rubs his nape. “I don’t know… she has this, uh, case that she’s confident on winning this Thursday. Maybe I’m going to do it when she gets home that day…” he trails off, and Nayeon coos at him when she sees his ears turning red. Doyeon throws back the napkin Taehyung threw at him, and she receives a juvenile pinch on the arm from Taehyung back.

You laugh along with them.

But deep inside, you’re finding it hard to process all the information that you learned today. You were just letting out words when you said that they were all going to be married, an exaggeration at best, because Nayeon is apparently now a fiancé, Taehyung has been in a long-term relationship with his prosecutor girlfriend that it’s easy to assume their next step is tying it down, and Doyeon is single but you refuse to believe that’s the case. It’s a wild theory that your friends have but you all feel like she has a secret boyrfriend or something.

Apparently, though, you’re not exaggerating at all. Because Taehyung is indeed planning to tie it down.

“It seems like everybody is getting married these days, no?” Doyeon mentions. She looks at you and you feel your heart beating abnormally for some reason. “What about you, __? How did that blind date last week go?”

She’s talking about the guy whom your cousin set you up with a few months back and have only gotten around to meet a week ago, Park Hyungshik.

They all seem to eagerly wait for your answer, and you can only meekly shake your head, sipping on a juice box so your jittering fingers can have something to do.

“It was okay.”

You can see the way their shoulders deflate, and you know you don’t need to explain the details for them to know how bad the date actually went.

“Fuck men.” Doyeon sighs.

“I agree.” Taehyung affirms, followed by Nayeon.

It earns a laugh from you.

“Fuck off, you guys.” You say, rolling your eyes, knowing they’re blindly judging Hyungshik in unconditional support for you. The joke is appreciated though, as it makes you light up and forget about the sudden grey that washes over your insides at the terrifying thought that maybe you’re never going to be married at this rate.

“You’re laughing right now but I’m still scared that you’ll just put up an IG story of you and Jungkook getting married on a random Sunday.” Nayeon suddenly says which elicits quite a violent reaction from you.

“Fucking gross, Nayeon!” You slap her on her arm and she gives you an ingenuine, “Owe!”

Taehyung laughs and adds in another nonsensical input, “That’s where my grandma and grandpa started, by the way. The line between love and hate is thin, after all.”

Your face contorts into a deeper frown every passing second as they continue to tease you.

“Fuck you, Taehyung. I’ll kill you in your sleep and me and Doyeon will hide the body.” You threaten him with your eyes and when he only laughs more, you make quick work of your hands and snatch out his egg omelet, putting it in your mouth fast enough he doesn’t get the chance to take it back.

“Aw, man! Hyerin cooked that for me!” He whines, going back to his seat, defeated after trying to get back the food from you.

But Nayeon is more concerned about another thing.

“Why is it only you and Doyeon? I can help hide Taehyung’s body, too!” She says, face painted with an expression so solemn as if you betrayed her.

“You made the joke first, you don’t get the privilege.” You cross your arms under your chest.

“I’ll commit perjury for you in court. Doyeon can’t do that ‘cos she still hasn’t told us about her secret boyfriend.” She insists.

Taehyung deadpans. “You guys really do love me a lot here, no?”

“We never pretended to love you, Taehyung,” Doyeon taps his arm, giving him a contrasting look of faux sympathy. “And for the nth time, I do not have a secret boyfriend,” She says dryly, sounding exhausted for having to say it again. And then, she turns to you, “Where is that punk, Jungkook, anyway?”

You scowl at her. “Seriously guys, why do you always look for him from me?”

“It’s just that you always know where he is, babe.” Nayeon says as a matter of fact. “No offense.” She says, looking straight into your eyes. When she sees your eyebrow raising higher, she adds quickly, “And malice!” And then she continues some more, “Even though I personally think you’d be cute together and all but we understand perfectly you both just have this sort of weird relationship where you’re platonic roommates and you’re like best friends but you argue all the time for no reason—”

“Oh my god, shut up, Nayeon.” Doyeon cuts her off before she goes on a spiral again.

“See why it’s only me and Doyeon who gets to hide Taehyung’s body when I kill him? You’re gonna tell the police word for word how exactly I did it.” You tell her, and she pouts at you.

“And we’re back to killing me again.” Taehyung comments, sighing, and you stick your tongue out at him in that juvenile manner, only that Taehyung does the same because he’s an even bigger child than you.

“Kids, stop fighting.” Doyeon warns. “Seriously, where is Jungkook?”

“He told me he has a laparoscopic cholecystectomy.” You say.

“Damn.” Comments Taehyung.

Everybody including you nod in understanding.

It’s always been an inside joke in your friend group that Jungkook and you are gonna end up marrying each other because you’ve known each other for a long time, the closest to each other, live together – and you both are also the ones that can’t keep a relationship.

After your breakup with Eunwoo in the middle of your internship which was four years ago, you took a break from dating for a very long time. It’s only two years ago that you picked up going on casual dates, having quick flings, all that sort of stuff. It’s an occasional thing and they never end up as something more.

It’s why you’re still single up until now, and it’s not even that you want to be so – you prefer to be in a happy, loving relationship, thank you very much – but you yearn for a deeper connection with someone, and every date just doesn’t seem to click. And even though you find a little ugly bitterness when somebody brings up marriage, you would never, ever want to settle down with somebody just ‘cause you feel like you have to.

Meanwhile, Jungkook is a special case. He’s single because he wants to be. He’s single because according to him, the bachelor life has “chosen” him and he can’t do anything about it.

It’s why he goes to this myriads of dates… with those… women. Sleeps around. Never attempted a serious relationship as far as you’ve known him except that one time in your last year of med school when he exclusively dated Min Sora for about a year.

You don’t judge him for the kind of life he lives. He’s just an admittedly good-looking, liberated guy who hooks up with good-looking women who are looking for the same fun as him. When you asked him if they ever do fall, he told you that they always agree prior sex that it’s just going be a one-time thing (two or three or four times if they particularly like each other… or whatever the hell he said).

Despite that, Jungkook is – and always has been your best friend. You met each other in med school and were in the same study group together with Doyeon and Taehyung.

As much as heartbreak is a constant in your life, Jungkook is a frontrunner in it as well because from being in almost all the same classes during med school for four years, you both decided to live in the same apartment unit together.

It has two different bedrooms, of course. The apartment’s a big unit he and Taehyung owned three years ago until Taehyung moved in with his girlfriend. Jungkook couldn’t pay for it all by himself, and the only logical roommate choice was you because when he proposed it to Doyeon, she just looked at him disgusted beyond belief.

You’ve been with each other for so long it’s quite impossible to not know the other like the back of their hand. You’ve seen him during his worst in med school days up until the years of your residency as does him you. You both shared the highs and lows of life with the other’s presence, and as much as you both quite differ in the way you approach certain things in life – he’s ultimately your person, the one-call-away friend (or the one-knock-to-the-door-friend), and the guy you can always lean on when things are just particularly hard to bear.

Jungkook may not be the most ideal when it comes to romance, but he’s the guy you’d certainly wish was your friend.

Why you don’t understand when the rest of your friends tease you both is because you’re so… platonic with each other. Sure, you’re closest – you knew each other first – but you and Jungkook never acted borderline sweet for other people to be making assumptions. You aren’t the kind of friends who call each other siblings but then get weirdly clingy towards each other behind everyone’s backs.

You may have had a tiny bit of crush on him when you first saw him during first year of med school – it’s a common fact that he’s handsome and whatever, okay – but he had never shown interest; from post grad all throughout the years of your shared residency. You never, either.

But maybe it’s the teasing, since you always fight like goddamn children whenever you’re near each other. There’s nothing romantic about it, though, you don’t think so. In your defense, that’s how your dynamic works! That’s how your friendship with everybody works! If you didn’t banter with a person, you probably hate them.

Shaking the thoughts of Jungkook in your head, you continue to eat your lunch, asking questions about Nayeon’s further plans, squeezing your break with the rest of your friends, knowing your pager is going to beep anytime soon.

What Doyeon said, though, everybody does seem to be getting married these days. If you could sigh, you would, but you have to do with a little bit of internal mulling for now lest one of the gang notices and you get interrogated for it. You don’t want to get aired out for feeling suddenly weird at the tough realization that again, everybody seems to be getting married and proposed to except… you.

You’re happy for them – you really are! You’d be such a shit friend if you weren’t. But there’s a pang in your chest and you know exactly where it’s coming from.

There was an added case to the OR schedule when you checked it earlier this morning, and you were assigned to it as per instruction from the chief of your team – a melanoma excision.

After your lunch, you went to scrub in for the surgery and it was what made you busy including the paper works needed to be done, so busy that you thought you’d forgotten the pain from a while ago.

Turns out, it sat at some bench at the far end of your heart, hiding and shrinking itself for a little while, only showing up when it’s time for you to clock out; in the quiet of the locker room, alone while you change out of your scrubs.

You let out a heavy sigh and lean your forehead to your locker door, closing your eyes and getting your breathing even.

You’re just tired from work. You tell yourself. You had two surgeries today; it would be true. But you know it’s not entirely that. It’s the reminder of your loneliness when you see an envelope peeking out from your locker.

You take out the invitation card for Nayeon’s engagement party she’s given you this afternoon. It’s a thick off-white material that has her and her fiancé’s name printed on gold beveled font. So intricate to the touch; you deduce once you run your fingers over it.

“Yo, what are you up to?”

You quickly stand up straight and hide the envelope behind your back, your other hand going right above your chest when you turn around only to see Jeon Jungkook approaching the inside of the room.

“Jesus christ, learn to knock.” You say, genuinely surprised and taken aback. Jungkook cocks a brow at you.

“Feisty.” He muses, and the way his eyes fall to your chest makes you realize you’re still in your bra having not put yourself into a clean and fresh top yet since you decided to have a sentimental moment in your locker door like some high school girl.

“Asshole.” You mutter under your breath, making quick work of putting on a shirt.

Only when you’re done wearing it do you see Jungkook stripping out of his own scrubs until he’s left with only his boxers across from you.

“Some decorum, please?” You tell him, turning around to sit on a bench to change out of your sneakers and wearing a more comfortable pair of sandals.

You hear Jungkook laugh behind you.

“What can I say? I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, you see.” You take a quick look at him so he can see how far your eyes roll to the back of your head. Jungkook ignores that, wearing his shirt while he says, “You’re out the same time tonight?”

You take out your ponytail and comb your hair through your fingers to fix it.

“Yeah. You?”

Jungkook smirks and suddenly there’s something flying at your direction. You’re quick on your reflex and manage to catch it on time, only to realize it’s his keys.

“You’re driving.”

It earns an instant groan from you.

Jungkook puts on another pair of shoes while laughing. “What? I drove us here this morning.”

You’re about to give him an attitude but then you realize making him pity you may be more effective. Stepping closer to him, you sit on the bench where he placed his foot to tie his shoes on. You look up at him and try your puppy face on.

“But I had two surgeries today, Kook.”

Jungkook stares at you, his expression unreadable. A few seconds pass by, with you blink up at him, and you think he’s gonna cave.

Instead of getting swayed by your poor attempt to get his sympathy, he takes down his leg and says with a sarcastic smile on his face, “I did a major one. Yours were both minor.”

Your shoulders deflate, making sure to jab at his thigh that was at eye level and snark, “And two is more than one. Fuck off, Jeon.”

Jungkook follows behind you while his boisterous ass is laughing.

“Don’t get pissed at me, are you kidding? It’s your turn to drive. Favor for a favor.”

You turn back to him, and because you were walking in a faster pace, he crashes to your back. He grips your shoulder, pursing his lips into a thin line, obviously holding in another fit of laughter.

“You’re gonna drive us tomorrow here, do you understand?” You say, giving him an ominous glare.

Jungkook raises his hands up. “Okay, okay.” He nods his head, and to piss you off more, he adds, “Bossy.”

That earns him a pinch to the side which he quickly dodges. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and continue to head towards the exit.

You both enter his car soon after.

“I miss my car…” you longingly say, turning on the ignition to start driving.

“It’s still in the shop?” Jungkook asks while rummaging around his compartment glove to look for a snack. He always has a few in it. It’s convenient.

“Yeah, the mechanic told me it’s gonna take a few more weeks. So,” you look at him bitterly.

“That’s tough.” Jungkook comments, opening a granola bar and biting on it. He extends his hand to you. “You want some?”

You stretch your neck to the side, eyes still on the road while taking a bite off his food.

“Tough because you can’t bring your girls here anymore?” You joke a little. Jungkook gives you a dirty look. Your eyes widen a little, realizing what you just said. “Please say you don’t fuck in your car. I’ve touched your passenger seat and your backseat.”

“Give me more credit, yeah? I don’t fuck in my car, that shit is unhygienic as hell,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, and you heave a sigh of relief upon his confirmation. “I wine and dine my women before we do the deed, thank you very much.”

“You’re just so sweet, aren’t you?” You say with a straight face.

Jungkook sing-songs. “Just like how they like it.”

“You’re really beating them off with a stick these past few years, huh?”

“A gorgeous stick, might I add.”

That earns a disgusted groan from you, which he laughs at, and you drop the subject before it even goes to another place.

There’s a comfortable silence that sits on the air for a while until Jungkook speaks.

“Hey, what was that earlier?”

“Hm?”

“In the locker room.” He says.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat. Clearing your throat, you answer, “Oh, it’s just, uh… Nayeon’s getting married. Do you know that?”

“Yeah.”

You turn to him in surprise. “Wait, how? You didn’t eat lunch with us.”

Jungkook snorts. “I saw the invitation cards in her locker yesterday, she thought she was being discreet. She threatened me to keep it a secret when I asked her about it, though. I guess she told you guys today at lunch?”

“Oh my god, you really need to stop snooping in everybody’s locker.”

“I do not snoop in in everybody’s locker.”

You give him a certain look. Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Don’t change the subject.”

Letting out a heavy breath, you look straight ahead as you say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t doing anything…”

“Just getting a little sentimental in the locker room?”

“A bit.” You purse your lips. “But it’s not a big deal.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything to that. From your peripheral vision, you can see him staring at you but you choose to ignore that, focusing on driving instead.

“If you say so.” He says after a while.

You’re thankful for the dismissal. Jungkook’s usually insistent that you tell him everything – he’s just nosy like that – but deep down you know it’s because he cares. And if you’re in any trouble, he’s always willing to be there for you may it be listening to you vent or eat unholy amount of Chinese take out in the middle of the night.

As you went on the road, he played a few of his playlists and they served as background noise as you both talked about your day, like how your surgeries went. It’s a usual drive when you’re both in the same car together – which you’ve done quite a few times now because after all, you work in the same building and gas is expensive. It’s the most logical way to save up in this economy.

These past few weeks, though, it just so happened that your car got a little bitchy and started to act up so you made a bargain with Jungkook.

Anyway, you both arrive at your apartment shortly, with Jungkook and you taking turns in the shower.

“You wanna order in something?” Says Jungkook who’s currently drying his hair, a towel wrapped around his lower half.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he’s some kind of exhibitionist. Jungkook has the habit of walking around the apartment shirtless and sometimes with just even his boxers on, and it’s not like you aren’t used to seeing it! You admittedly see a lot of it when you guys would change in the locker rooms back at the hospital, but that is work, and you have more things to worry about at work other than your co-worker changing in front of you.

Still, it’s hard to get used to his exhibitionist tendencies. You had a hard time with it especially in the first few months of living together, but you had to adapt, and right now, even though you can say you’re partly immune to it, his naked upper half still bothers you. A little.

Listen, you’re a human being with primal instincts and men who have good bodies do, in fact, distract you a tiny bit.

“Nope.” You take a sip of the glass of water, closing the refrigerator with your foot, looking at Jungkook who groans at your answer. “What?”

“I was hoping we could split the delivery fee.” He deadpans.

“Wow. And they say chivalry is dead.”

Jungkook laughs while you head towards your room. He follows you until you reach your door so you turn to him, putting your hand on your hip as you ask, “What?”

“Don’t think too much about it.”

Your furrow your brows. “How do you mean?”

“The wedding,” Jungkook says with a soft smile. “And weddings, in general. I know you’re thinking about a few things up in that smart brain of yours. Don’t.”

You’re completely taken aback by his words, but at the same time, you’re not at all that surprised. Jungkook can read you almost like an open book.

Still, you decide to lie.

“I’m not thinking about weddings, weirdo.”

“Liar,” Jungkook’s brow arches, and you know he’s figured out your shit. “Your nostrils flared up. You’re lying.”

You groan, giving him a light jab at his bicep. Jungkook chuckles.

“My nostrils do not flare up.”

“It does so,” Jungkook points out. “Like this.” He stands there on your door and start to purposefully enlarge his nostrils to imitate you.

You roll your eyes. “My face is not like that when I lie. Go back to your room,” you say, pushing him slightly out of your doorway, ready to close it in front of his face, but you add more, “And don’t bother me.”

Jungkook stands up straight and gives you a salute. “Yes, ma’am.” he says in a register octave lower, walking away with laughter as you tell him he’s annoying. You roll your eyes once again before finally closing your bedroom door.

A lot of people may judge your love for romance as naivety, but you really couldn’t care less. Even if you get heart broken countless times, love will never fail to make your heart soft and make you feel like you’re floating.

It’s exactly what you think as you look at Nayeon and her fiance, Minhyuk, on the stage huddled so close together, laughing and giggling to each other. They look so incredibly happy. So connected. So sweet. It brings a feeling of warmth to your heart – to see one of the most important people in your life finally meeting the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It makes you melt on the inside to see two people so deeply in love that it emanates in the whole venue of the garden their engagement party is being held at today.

The weather is sunny – not too hot, like the universe knows not to fuck it up for Nayeon and her fiance. There’s also a lot of people; their families, some of Nayeon’s friends and probably Minhyuk’s – people you’ve never seen before. You assume it’s Minhyuk’s friends or acquaintances. The guest list for their wedding must be big, but it isn’t surprising, given that Minhyuk comes from the big corporate world.

“You want more champagne?” Jungkook whispers beside you, ready to stand up from his seat.

You stare at him, and you notice his eyes are not even on yours. He has it glued towards a woman across from you. A pretty woman wearing a satin dress that shows off her slender figure. You notice Jungkook’s been looking at her since the beginning of the party.

Shaking your head, you scoff. “You’re just gonna pick up some woman.”

Jungkook sputters and quickly take his gaze off the woman. “No, I’m not. I just think she’s familiar.”

You raise your brow. “Let me guess… one of your hook-ups?”

Jungkook huffs. And then off he goes.

Everybody has their plus-ones except you two, and now that Jungkook is probably off his mission to find a hook-up for the night, you’re left alone as usual.

You don’t feel bad about it. The champagne is good and there’s hors d'oeuvre on the table.

“Miss?”

You look up, finding the owner of the voice.

And holy hell.

“Hi.” You greet reluctantly, not sure if he meant you. You’re also trying to contain a blush from spreading across your cheeks because goddamn, was the man beautiful.

He smiles. Wow. Whoever this is… he looks pretty damn good.

“Is this seat taken?” The stranger says, pointing to the now empty seat beside you. You look around but can’t really spot Jungkook.

So, you shake your head, gesturing to the chair beside you. “No, not really. You want to sit here?”

He nods. “Alone?”

“No, not really… but I’m Nayeon’s friend. I’m her co-resident at the hospital.” You smile, taking a sip of your champagne that’s already about to run out. “Are you one of Minhyuk’s friends?”

“You guessed right. Law school friends. Worked at the same firm when he was a practicing lawyer until he quit some time ago,” You nod at that, and he gives you a boyish smile again. He offers his hand for a handshake. “I’m Mingyu, by the way. Kim Mingyu.”

You take his hand.

“I’m ___.” You both laugh when you shake your hands together.

His hands feel rough but at the same time warm. It’s nice.

“You’re a doctor?” Mingyu asks, keeping up the conversation.

“Yeah. A resident surgeon.” You glance at him. “I’m assuming you’re a lawyer?”

Mingyu nods. “Yeah. Corporate.”

“I see.” You nod, looking in front of you again, trying to stray from any eye contact. He’s way too attractive for your own liking.

“Say… I hate to make this about work but I just need to ask real quick,” Mingyu says, and when you look at him, you furrow your brows at the worry in his eyes, suddenly growing nervous at the depth of seriousness it’s showing. “So, I got here, and I suddenly have this sort of… feeling of heart palpitation. Increased heart rate. It’s like it’s missing a beat and it’s been making me real nervous.”

“Oh,” you look at him in concern. “That’s— did you drink uh… coffee?” He shakes his head. You place your champagne glass on the table and turn your body to him so you can face him properly. You don’t know if it’s just the doctor in you, but you forget about pretty much everything when you see or hear someone feeling under normal. “Are you a smoker, then?” You continue your line of questioning.

“I quit years ago.”

“I see… okay, uhm…” You look around, trying to look for something. “There’s a lot of roots for heart palpitations. Does your heart feel like pounding right now? Flip-flopping or something like that?”

Mingyu nods.

“Okay… well I can’t say for sure – I wish I have stethoscope with me right now. But I’m gonna lay out all the possible reasons why you might be feeling so. Smoking’s out of the question. You didn’t drink coffee, but do you drink more than one cup in a day?”

“Not in the past few weeks, no.”

“So, you’re not overcaffeinated, then. I really don’t want to lay this out on you, but you might want to check in with your doctor if this is not your first time feeling this. Heart palpitations is normal most of the time but I’ve seen lots of people get in these situations and it ends up being arrhythmia, which is a really serious condition.” You look at him straight in the eyes.

Mingyu looks stricken back. “Well… are there any more reasons out there that’s not… as dangerous?”

You still in your position.

Oh, right. There is more.

“Are you feeling certain emotions right now? Like, really, strong emotion?” You say, internally face-palming yourself because how can you not remember one of the very basic roots of palpitation!

“Yes, I am.”

“Well… certain emotions do trigger your heartbeat to accelerate. It might be anxiety… fear, panic, stress…” You look at Mingyu, noticing that his once serious face is now forming a smile. That makes you back-track, but you hesitantly continue. “... infatuation.”

And then he says, “I think you’re right off the bat with that one.”

Your lips part slightly. A few seconds passed and then suddenly, what he’s doing registers in your head, and you can’t help but to let out a laugh.

“Oh my god,” You say in disbelief. “You weren’t– you weren’t actually asking for medical advice?”

“Bad way to flirt with a pretty woman, huh?” Mingyu smiles and it’s so dashing that you shy away from his gaze, but you’re still laughing at the turn of events.

“God, no. I can’t believe I didn’t get it earlier.” You say, gingerly placing a palm on your forehead at the embarrassment.

But Mingyu just laughs along with you.

“It was just bad flirting. I’m sorry,” He says, sipping from his glass and takes a glance at you. “I can do better.”

You arch your brow. “Oh?”

“Yeah. If you let me. Say, Friday, ten o’clock?”

You chuckle. “That was really smooth.”

Mingyu was about to say something when suddenly, you hear a familiar voice approaching your direction.

“Mingyu?” When you look up, you see Jungkook. You eye him in confusion, wondering how the hell he knew Mingyu’s name.

But then Mingyu speaks and you grow even more confused.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

“Oh hey, it’s you,” Jungkook says, and he looks genuinely surprised. Mingyu stands up from his seat to give Jungkook a hug, slapping him on the back – kind of like how guys usually greet each other. You watch as Jungkook reluctantly reciprocates it.

“You work with Nayeon?” Mingyu asks, and even with a smile on his face, you can see he’s also in disbelief to be seeing Jungkook.

Jungkook nods at him, still looking a bit stricken. You can’t figure out if it’s just his surprised face or something else. You’ve never seen him look so… stunned like this before. Nevertheless, he says, “Yeah. How ‘bout you?”

“Been with Lee and Song for the past three years, Minhyuk’s previous firm before he quit and went out to the business world.” Mingyu chuckles, tapping Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook smiles. “That’s crazy, man. I can’t believe we’ll meet here again.”

Mingyu, seemingly sharing the same sentiment, says, “Man, it’s been, like, what– almost ten years?”

“Yeah, yeah, too long, man.” Jungkook nods, chuckling slightly.

You hate to interrupt, but you’re confused, and you need to confirm something.

“Wait,” You butt in, making them both look at you. “You know each other?”

Jungkook sits across from you while Mingyu follows.

“We did pre-med together during undergrad.” Mingyu says.

“You did pre-med in undergrad?” You look at Mingyu incredulously, and he nods with a bashful smile on his face. You squint your eyes at him, feeling slightly betrayed that he asked you all that stuff earlier when the whole while he has a pre-med degree.

Jungkook cuts in.

“How the hell do you two know each other?” He said, leaning back and pointing between you two. It seems like he’s finally out of the trance he was in earlier.

“I just met him today.” You tell Jungkook, blinking your eyes at him.

“Well, how about you two? How do you know each other?” Mingyu asks and the whole thing suddenly feels like watching a game of tennis somehow.

You’re about to answer when Jungkook beats you to it.

“We’re co-workers. Together with Nayeon.”

Mingyu nods his head and then turns to you, “So not his girlfriend, then?”

“What? No!” you didn’t mean for it to come out that violently, so you repeat it in a gentler manner this time. “I mean no. What?”

Mingyu turns to Jungkook who’s now looking confused.

“I was just asking her out for a date.”

You suddenly feel blood rushing to your cheeks at his straightforwardness. In front of Jungkook, out of all people! You aren’t embarrassed! You just feel weird and shy.

But Jungkook looks at you as if silently asking you if Mingyu’s being serious. You tuck your bottom lip under your teeth.

Then he nods his head slowly. “Really?” Jungkook chuckles, looking at you. “What’d you say?”

Mingyu looks at you with a hopeful smile. “What do you say?”

You feel weird about doing the whole thing in front of someone, but you look at Mingyu again – how attractive he is, his charming smile, his physique, and his charisma… and you don’t think it’d be too bad to chance at least one date with him.

So, you nod, avoiding Jungkook’s sudden way too intense gaze.

“I would like to,” But he cocks his head to the side. You chuckle, adding, “Yes, Mingyu. I’d like to go out with you.”

“Woah!”

“Jungkook, please knock!”

You look at Jungkook irritably while you lock your stud earring, standing up from your chair in front of the vanity table to pick up your purse from the edge of your bed.

“I was just going to borrow your hair dryer.” Jungkook says, trudging inside your room freely which makes you roll your eyes at him.

You watch as he expertly makes his way to your vanity table and slides one of the drawers, taking out the hair dryer.

“You need to buy your own one.” You say with a straight face.

But Jungkook just stands there for a while, and when his stare goes on longer than necessary, you start feeling conscious.

“What.”

“What are you so… dolled up for?”

You jab him on the chest when you get near him, enough to make him wince. “What an asshole way to say I look good.”

Jungkook laughs. Your heart drops.

Most of the time, you understand that your dynamic consists of teasing and bantering with each other until one of you gets pissed off. That’s usually you. But they never go too far – you’ve built a foundation of respect in your relationship which you love. However, sometimes, there are moments when you’re under a certain kind of pressure – like right now in which you only have twenty minutes before Mingyu arrives to pick you up outside of your building complex and you still haven’t done your hair – and Jungkook laughing while looking at you is not helping.

The faux confidence falls as fast as that.

“Okay, Jungkook, can you just tell me nicely if this dress looks ridiculous or if I put too much make-up on?” You say, failing not to sound defensive.

Jungkook’s quick to halt his laughter, and he looks taken aback at your clipped tone.

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You were laughing at me.” You point out, turning around to rummage through your make-up products scattered on the top surface of the furniture, thinking that maybe you overblushed. So, you look at yourself in the mirror.

Jungkook situates himself on your vanity table so you’ll look at him.

“Wha— you thought I was laughing at you?” You don’t answer, checking if your cheeks are way too pink, purposefully ignoring him. “Okay, that’s– I wasn’t. I’m sorry if you thought I was. I laughed at your words, not the way you look.”

You let out a sharp breath, look at him angrily, ready to present more argument, but you see the look of sincerity on his face and you realize then that you’re being borderline sensitive.

You sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jungkook places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You pout at him. “It’s just… first date jitters. I feel slightly anxious, I don’t know,” You sigh again, “I bought this dress two days ago.” You say, looking down at it. It has a tube top with thin straps, fitting your upper half like a glove but flows prettily to the bottom, stopping just about four inches above your knee.

“It looks good on you.” Jungkook comments, and you quint your eyes at him.

“You swear?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Why would I lie?”

“To make me feel better, I don’t know,” Then you can’t help but chuckle. “Anyway, does my make-up look okay? I didn’t put too much blush?”

“You have lipstick on your teeth,” Jungkook says, baring his own to emphasize what he meant.

“Shit.” You panic, quickly ducking down to check it in the mirror.

You soon realize Jungkook was fucking with you when you hear him laughing beside you.

“I hate you.” You hiss, pushing his thighs so he can get off your vanity table. He remains on his seat, fighting your force while laughing. “Ugh, don’t you have a date of your own or something?” You groan as you take the hair straightener on the side, sitting back down again on the chair to straighten a certain part of your hair again so it’s looks nothing but perfect.

“Ohh, so you are going on a date.” Jungkook says as if he wasn’t there in front of you when Mingyu asked you out.

You give him a weird look. “With Mingyu, remember?”

“Oh, right.” He’s quiet for awhile, and then, “You’re really dating him?”

You put down the hair straightener.

“Yeah… why?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Nothing.”

But you want to insist. “He’s your friend. You told me he’s a nice guy.”

He nods his head. “That’s true.”

You eye him suspiciously. “You’re making me nervous.”

Jungkook chuckles and pats your head. You scowl at him and slap his wrist.

“You’re like a cat,” Jungkook comments. “Anyway, I told you, it’s nothing. It’s just…” He trails off. You look at him, waiting for his continuation.

You don’t expect the genuine smile he sends your way.

“I wish it works out for you this time.”

Lips parted, you think about what to say to that, but nothing comes out of your mouth.

Jungkook gets off the table and brings with him your blow dryer. Before he heads out completely, he tells you, “And don’t worry about how you look. Mingyu likes pretty women. You’re exactly his type.”

“Really, mini-golf?” You ask Mingyu, but he already has his fingers intertwined with you as you both enter the course.

You’ve just had dinner at some fancy restaurant that served, admittedly, good steak. He told you it was some sort of special place for him; where he takes himself to whenever he closes a deal or wins a case. You tried not to think too much about what it meant that he brought you there – given that you’re only on your first date.

But hey, maybe he thought you deserve to eat good steak? That’s probably what it was.

You don’t ask.

You thought the night was over when you finished your meal and good two glasses of Malbec, but Mingyu commented in his car that he’d love to burn off the food for a moment – and you didn’t really want to leave just yet.

So, you end up at Pier 26, and Mingyu’s enthusiastic.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He says, and you have no choice but to follow behind him.

“I really don’t know how.” You tell him, smile bashful as you watch him carry the golf club, walking towards the direction of the ball. 

“What’s up with that? I’ll teach you,” Mingyu says, putting down the club and unbuttoning his cuff to push his sleeves up to his forearms.

You try not to focus too much on the veins that show up at the action and how his biceps are almost fighting to pop out of his sleeves. His hands look so big compared to yours when he offers it to get you to stand beside him.

“Really? You’re gonna teach me like a big… macho man?” You tease, taking his hand nonetheless.

Mingyu smiles once you’re beside him, placing himself behind you, guiding your hands so you can hold the club together.

You can feel his breath on your neck as he instructs you what to do. “You just have to stand like this,” He lets go of your hands in favour of your hips, and your breath hitches when he whispers, “Look ahead, and you just… let go.”

The golf ball jumps out of the line and you giggle at the way it completely misses the hole.

“That was… wow.” Mingyu says, staring at the ball.

“Shut up! Okay, okay, I’ll try it alone.” You say, dismissing his incredulous look, a bit embarrassed at your performance.

From your periphery, you see Mingyu closely watching you as you grip the golf club a little less tight this time so it’s not too tense when you hit the ball. Squinting your eyes, you eye the goal and let out a controlled breath. You relax your posture just like he taught you and when you finally hit the ball, it lands right in the hole perfectly.

You turn to look at Mingyu immediately with widened eyes, and when he gives you a huge grin, you do a little jump out of excitement.

“Oh my god, I did that!”

Mingyu chuckles at your enthusiasm. And due to the high of hitting the goal once, you agree to another round until it turns into a session.

You only stopped when you got tired. Nonetheless, you realize it’s actually something you’re good at, and that geeks you inside. Meanwhile, Mingyu suggested you walk around the park for a little while.

Mingyu told you he was just going to buy some food at a stall, but as you sit on the bench to wait for him, you think about how you’d like to go with Jungkook here some time to challenge him to mini-golf. You almost always never beat him to any games… surely, he must not know mini-golf, right? You can finally have the upper hand, if ever.

“Ice cream?” Mingyu returns from the stall and extends the cone to you. You try not to show your wince. You’re lactose intolerant.

“Thanks.” You say, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. It’s not that bad, and you want this date to be perfect. Mingyu joins you on the bench.

The night’s cold and you regret not bringing your blazer with you and leaving it in his car instead.

“You know,” you start to strike up a conversation. “I’m still pretty shocked you studied pre-med.”

Mingyu chuckles. “Why?”

“I don’t know… but in hindsight, I should’ve known the moment you asked me about “heart palpitations”.” You say, quoting the last two words, trying to tease him.

“I really thought that was a good idea, huh?”

You snort. “It was–” you gesture with your hand, pursing your lips. “Pretty lame, yeah. But admittedly… it was cute. So, there.”

Mingyu laughs. “Thanks. I also thought that was a brilliant way to flirt with a doctor.”

You shake your head, laughing at him.

Silence sits in the air for a while until he speaks.

“You know what they say? Study law when you don’t know what to do after getting a degree, so law it was.” Mingyu shrugs.

“You didn’t see yourself as a doctor then?” You ask curiously.

“Not really. Didn’t really think too much about it when I chose a pre-med program as my major. Soon realized it wasn’t for me. I was lost in law school too for a good couple of years, though. But I love it now,” Mingyu looks at you who’s intently listening. “You? You always wanted to be a doctor?”

You look ahead, nodding. “For as long as I can remember.”

“Just like Jungkook, huh?” Mingyu chuckles. “He really wanted it a lot. I remember him excelling during those moving tests. He had a lot of people getting jealous over him for balancing his school and basketball lives so well, you know?”

You furrow your brows. “He did basketball?”

“Yeah. We were in the varsity team together.”

“Hah.” You smile. Jungkook. A jock. “That makes sense.”

“That I’m a jock?” Mingyu asks with a teasing smile on his face.

You didn’t mean him, but regardless, you nod, finding that it also applies to him. “You look like someone who plays basketball.”

“And what’s the diagnosis of that, doctor?” Mingyu leans closer.

You nibble on your bottom lip.

“Let’s say you have a… chronic jock face.” You say, not backing down from Mingyu’s sudden challenge of eye contact.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Is that a good thing?”

You chuckle. “It just means that you are conventionally attractive.”

“Ah,” he nods, but you notice his hand making its way around your waist. You don’t make a move to protest it. “Then, can a conventionally attractive guy like me chance a kiss with a pretty girl like you?”

Your breath hitch when he leans his face closer. One more inch and his lips will lock against yours.

“Yeah.”

Mingyu doesn’t waste a second longer and leans in to plant his lips on yours. It’s nothing short of a peck when he breaks away from the contact, but when you look up at him with parted lips, he goes back to kissing you again, cupping your cheek and angling your face towards him better, this time taking you closer by your waist.

It starts off as something experimental, like he’s testing the waters first. But when you take out your tongue to prod the side of his mouth, he does the same and inserts his tongue in yours.

You did not really think that you’d end up making out of some bench at a park, but here you are.

“Oh,” you unintentionally let out a low moan, and you hear a guttural sound coming out from his throat. Your hands come up to fist his collar as some sort of support, and Mingyu responds with a slight pinch to your hip.

You break away from the kiss to regain your breathing, and Mingyu takes that as an opportunity to plant kisses across your cheek down to your jaw. Sighing at the sensation, you close your eyes as you let yourself get drowned in the feeling of his soft lips against your skin.

But when you open your eyes, you see people walking by at a short distance and that’s when you wake up from your trance.

“Mingyu,” You call him, but he’s too busy kissing your neck. “Hey, I think we shouldn’t do this here.”

Mingyu stops. Then, he looks at you, eyes hooded, hair a mess, his lips swollen, some of your lipstick getting on it.

Your blood flows to your cheek at the sight. He looks unbelievably hot. God, what more if he was under you and you were doing more than just kissing and– no, no. Not going there. Absolutely no thoughts of … there.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Mingyu says after seemingly snapping himself out of the trance as well. “Shit. I really am.”

He looks so apologetic, so you put your hand over his arm.

“It’s fine. Just uh… let’s take it slow?” You tell him.

Mingyu gives you a small smile.

“Slow. Yeah. Let’s do it slow.”

What's the definition of slow, anyway?

The tension at the park was too much and you made out some more in his car with heavy petting that may have included Mingyu copping a feel of your boob and you coyishly feeling out the bulge in his pants.

Safe to say, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

You started coming over to his place, but you still haven’t had sex. Not yet at least. You haven’t even taken off your clothes in front of each other yet. Suddenly, you remember being eighteen and just making out with your boyfriend – the territory of any form of sex prohibited for some reason. Somehow, you two have never gotten around that for the past few weeks you’ve hung out. It may be because you always stop it before it happens, but it’s not because you don’t want to; just that it feels like you’re going to a place you won’t know how to go back to.

So, it’s mostly date nights, a sneaky coffee hung during the afternoon when you’re not particularly busy and your schedule aligns, and making out in his car until your pager beeps or when his phone rings.

And as good as Mingyu may be with his lips when he locks them with yours, he’s more than what you thought he was.

You have to admit that you had doubts when you first met him. You don’t trust a lot of good-looking men, because they always end up being assholes. He also has the face of a guy who – in a cliche fashion – likes to break women’s hearts on a regular basis. You went to the first date a little hopeful of something real, but you knew your luck with romance isn’t the best – may be the worst you’ve ever known – but recently, you’re starting to think that maybe the poison’s wearing out and Mingyu may just be… decent.

Decent enough to be a boyfriend. Your boyfriend.

And it feels so weird to think so. You’ve been single for so long, and sure, you went to a lot of dates during the past two years but Mingyu’s going on two months, and everything just seems so… right. Like this can be it.

You hate having wishful thinking. You hate getting your hopes high. But god, he makes it so hard.

“You going with us later?” Nayeon asks, stretching her neck while looking at you.

You’re all currently at some abandoned ward at the hospital where you take quick breaks from your shift to eat or talk for a while.

“Where to?” You ask, taking a bite off Taehyung’s egg sandwich which he gave you earlier.

“We’re going out for barbecue tonight. Jungkook didn’t tell you?” Doyeon says, coming back from her quick trip to the vending machine.

You look at them confused. “No, he didn’t tell me about… barbecue or going out.”

As if on cue, Jungkook arrives in the scene.

“She’s not coming with us,” Jungkook says, and you look at him with visible offense on your expression. “She’s going out with her boyfriend tonight.”

The room quickly becomes rowdy at the declaration, and you flip Taehyung off when you hear him let out a lighthearted “boo”.

“Oh my god,” Nayeon squeals. “Mingyu’s your boyfriend now?” She asks, going over to the bed you’re sitting on, huddling closer to you ready to hear some gossip.

Doyeon looks surprised as well.

You look at Jungkook to give him a death glare. The fucker just puts his hands up in the air.

“No, god– why would you believe him?” You huff out, rolling your eyes. “Mingyu’s not my boyfriend.” Nayeon’s shoulders deflate. “Yet.” You add, and suddenly, she smiles. You take a glance at Doyeon who looks at Jungkook subtly. Or not so subtly, since you saw her. She didn’t seem to notice.

But Jungkook just wears a smug expression as he approaches you closer.

“See?” He shrugs, plopping himself on the same bed beside you. He looks at everybody. “She barely goes home nowadays.”

“Shut up, Jungkook!” You say, continuously hitting him on the arm as he makes little effort to dodge them.

But as usual, your friends love to bully you and join in the teasing.

“So, you joining or what?” Taehyung says after a while.

You actually had plans with Mingyu tonight. Just the usual dinner at his place and some movie and some fooling around, but you remember Jungkook’s teasing and felt the competitive need for him to not be right.

Besides, you don’t want to be the kind of friend who suddenly ditches their friends just because they’re starting to date – and you know that beneath their good-natured chaff is a genuine feeling of sulk because you’ve been admittedly bailing out on all your hangs lately.

It isn’t even that much because you don’t get to hang outside the hospital often – but you usually do go out on Fridays or Saturdays for some barbecue and go to a KTV bar afterwards. It’s sort of like became a tradition at this point, and it dawns on you that you haven’t been present in them for the past few weeks, which makes you feel bad.

“I’m coming with.”

Jungkook immediately eyes you with an arched brow. “For real?”

You challenge him with a look. “Yes, why?”

“I just remember you mentioning you’re going to Mingyu’s tonight.”

“Eh,” you shrug. “I’m just gonna tell him I’m hanging out with you all. No big deal.” You say, believing what you said. Mingyu’s come accustomed to your group of friends and you’re both adults who live separate lives. As far as you know him, he wouldn’t be making a big deal out of you cancelling on a plan. You think he’ll understand. You hope he does.

“Oh my god, don’t!” Nayeon cuts in. “Don’t worry about us. Go date your hot lawyer boyfriend right now. Are you insane?”

You look at her incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

Doyeon looks at you, nodding her head. “Nayeon’s right. If it’s between a date with my boyfriend or having barbecue with Taehyung and Jungkook, I’d rather be with my boyfriend,” She looks at the two guys. “No offense.”

“As if I don’t want to be with my girlfriend either tonight?” Taehyung says in disbelief.

Doyeon rolls her eyes, but she lets out a low chuckle.

“Wait– why are we fighting right now? If __ wants to cancel her date with Mingyu to come with us for barbecue night, then let her be.” Jungkook says.

In the corner, Taehyung crosses his arms and sends a certain look Jungkook’s way.

“Don’t get too excited, Jungkook.”

Jungkook and you pretty much have the same exact reaction at that.

“What the hell does that mean?”

You feel a slight pinch to your arm.

“Aw!” You slap Jungkook’s bicep for what he did. “What the hell!”

“I said it first.”

“You’re a child.” You roll your eyes.

Taehyung raises his hand. “I think you’re both twelve-year-olds trapped in thirty-year-old surgeons’ bodies.”

“Twelve’s too generous, I think they’re mentally still in first grade.” Doyeon comments.

You don’t get to rebut as you see a glimpse of the resident chief coming your way. It seems that the rest noticed the same thing, and suddenly, you’re all scrambling from your comfortable positions on the ER beds and going your separate ways to the hallways.

You went to your go-to-barbecue restaurant as soon as your shift ended for the day.

The eating becomes a drinking session until everybody tapped out but you and Jungkook. More like, you, because Jungkook wasn’t drinking at all. Doyeon was the first one to call herself an Uber, and then Nayeon and Taehyung had to leave because they have an early shift the next day.

“Don’t you have a shift tomorrow?” You ask Jungkook, downing another shot glass of soju. Your alcohol tolerance is not that high nor is it that low, but after two bottles – you admit you’re starting to feel a little dazed.

“Yeah. Afternoon.” Jungkook responds. When he sees you pouring yourself another glass again, he takes the shot and downs it himself.

“Rude!” You pout at him.

“You’re all red and shit, it’s time to tap out.” Jungkook chuckles when you show him an even deeper frown. “Come on, it’s nearing twelve.”

“I’m so tired.” You whine, not even bothering to take your glass back from him, just letting your shoulder deflate and bowing your head down, your eyes becoming droopier by the second.

After four years of residency, you feel like you have started to operate on autopilot somehow. Wake up at fuck-ass o’clock at dawn to prep for work and finish a varying number of hours of shift for the week. You admittedly barely get time to partake in leisure activities – and it’s not new per say. It’s just like in med school except you’re actually doing the real thing now and instead of grades, real lives are involved and at stake – which puts an even bigger weight on your shoulders.

It’s why you’re thankful to Mingyu; for his presence… for starting to invite you to his place rather than eat out. Don’t get it twisted– you love the bougie dinners and all that, but his penthouse is definitely way more comfortable.

But lately you’ve forgotten about what it is like to hang out with your friends outside of the five-minute breaks in the hospital – and times like these you love letting yourself loose and relax because, hey, you deserve it a little!

“Should I buy you soup to drink in the car?” You can hear Jungkook ask. You don’t answer. “Yeah, I should buy you soup.” He tells himself.

And then you see him going to the counter only to come back after a few minutes with a paperbag in his hand.

“You’re drunk.” He announces.

You snicker. “I’m not.”

“You sure are.” Jungkook shakes his head as he takes you by your waist to help you stand up.

“Just feeling a little dizzy, ‘s all.” You mumble when you fall against his neck upon straightening your legs.

“You’re not just a little dizzy, silly.” Jungkook whispers against your head.

You hum as a response and you can feel the vibration on his chest as he laughs at you. He doesn’t say another word as he guides your steps outside of the restaurant, and before you know it, you’re situated in the passenger seat of his car, with him wearing your seatbelt around you.

“Thanks.” You give him a lopsided smile, shifting around in the space to get more comfortable.

“Welcome, your highness.” You giggle at his response. “Drink up, it’s gonna help you sober up.” He says, handing you the paper bowl of soup he bought from the restaurant a few minutes ago.

You groan, taking it from him and slowly sip from the cup. Jungkook tells you to get his water flask from his backpack on the back seat when you finish your soup.

The soup and water relieve you from the acid reflux you feel in your stomach. Only slightly. Because when you close your eyes and lean back on the seat more comfortably, that’s when you feel something in your throat.

“Jungkook,” You call him.

“Hm?”

“I think I want to puke.”

Jungkook immediately turns to look at you. “For real?”

You bite your bottom lip, nodding your head repeatedly.

“Okay, shit– wait,” Jungkook looks around for something. Probably a plastic bag or whatever. But when he finishes scoping the area around the interior of his car, he seems to find nothing. When he glances at the rearview mirror, he takes a reverse and suddenly, he turns off the ignition of his car. “I’ll park here for a while. Let’s go outside.”

He gets out of the car first before opening your door. You think you’re fine to walk on your own, but you don’t oppose to Jungkook wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you to a…

Playground. The swings, in particular.

“Sit here for a bit.” He instructs, holding the chains steady for you as he waits until you’re sitting on it. He runs towards the car, and you feel way too weird in the throat to ask him why.

You recognize the place that’s not exactly far away from your complex. Maybe a ten-minute drive away.

Jungkook comes back with a crumpled plastic bag. It’s from a familiar provision shop. Probably was in his compartment glove the whole time.

“Here,” he hands you the plastic. “I’ll help you.”

You get it from him and shake your head.

“No, it’s fine.”

“I don’t mind.”

You look at him straight in the eye. “You’re not gonna help me puke, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you for a while and then sighs. He holds the chains of your swing again, standing beside you, putting his hand in his pockets.

“Okay. Puke your heart out.”

You snort. You open the plastic bag and get a feel of that weird invasive push in your throat – until you realize Jungkook is watching you.

Looking up at him, you whine, “Jungkook. Don’t watch.”

Jungkook furrows his brows. “I’m not watching.”

“It’s gross.” You say, a bit embarrassed. The whole thing’s embarrassing, to be honest. Jungkook taking care of you because you got stupid drunk. It’s not the first time, and there were definitely a lot more occurrences worse than this – you’re just grateful he hasn’t kicked you out of a curb. Yet.

“Watching somebody puke?” He scoffs as he says your name. “We literally amputated a leg today, and FYI, I’m just scared you’re gonna have some serious complication while puking.”

You frown because– okay. Fair. He has valid points.

“Okay. Well. I’m not gonna die puking. So, turn around or stand back there at the slides far from me.”

“Seriously?” Jungkook asks, disbelief painting his voice.

You just nod. Thankfully, he doesn’t say any more and obediently walks about five steps away from you, acquiescing to your request.

It takes you a few minutes to settle yourself before you let out the accumulation of what you’ve digested for the day. Your throat feels crass when you’re done, and your stomach feels empty. When you look ahead, your head still feels like it’s floating. But at least you feel a little better now.

“Drink this,” Jungkook approaches you again and gives you his tumbler once again. You drink from it quickly and quietly. “Feel okay now?”

You hum, nodding and smiling up at him.

“Thanks, Kook.”

He only mirrors your smile and goes to sit on the swing beside you. “You wanna go home now?”

You nibble on your bottom lip, contemplating his question. As you look around, you notice it’s so... solemn. It’s midnight, after all. There’s a sort of eerie calmness with the cricket sounds but the wind is nice and the dark skies project twinkling lights.

“It’s so nice here,” You say instead.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jungkook chuckles and you follow.

You look at him and sincerely, you ask, “Just for a few minutes, please?”

Jungkook’s quick to say, “Okay.”

His voice is just as gentle as the night breeze.

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. You’re sobering up?”

“Eh. I’m getting there.”

“Good.”

You look at him again. “Thank you.”

Jungkook sends you a confused look, but there’s a smile on his face.

“I heard that.”

You chuckle. “And I’m saying it again. Thank you.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Alright. You’re welcome. Times two. And you’re not allowed to say it again.”

You both laugh at the exchange. The silence that follows after that is comfortable.

“You know, you still remember Changsub? My first boyfriend?” Jungkook nods at your words. “He asked me to be his girlfriend at a playground. Some old one in our hometown.” You pause for a while, recalling that memory. You laugh because it was just… so long ago. But the pictures are still so vivid in your head.

“Sweet. Too bad he’s an asshole, huh?” Jungkook comments, having known most of your relationship history.

“Yeah,” You shrug, laughing still. “But I, uhm, I remember a day after that– I had, like, this whole scenario in my head. I pictured a few years down the line, he’s on his knees and he’s showing me a ring asking me to be his wife on the very same playground. I thought it would be really sweet if he proposed to me at the same place.”

“Wow.” Jungkook muses, and you chuckle at the reaction.

“I know. It was crazy. I mean, why the hell was I thinking about getting married at that time? I was literally only sixteen and I think I had an AP assignment due the day after that. I was just so in my head.” You say, looking at Jungkook who has a smile of amusement on his face.

And then your laughter fades.

“I was so naive that time. But then I was also naive at twenty. And Jungkook…” You bite your bottom lip, feeling it quiver when you look into his eyes this time. “I’m afraid that I’m still naive at thirty.”

Jungkook calls your name softly, noticing the drop on your tone and the shift from playful to… melancholic.

You close your eyes and draw a deep breath.

“I like Mingyu. I really like him a lot,” And the declaration feels weird verbally announced. You’ve thought it for the past few weeks you’ve been with him – but you’ve both never said it to each other. Not yet. But saying it out loud now – it feels different. It feels real. And you’re so scared. “And we enjoy each other’s company a lot that I feel like he likes me just as much as I like him. You know, we kissed on the first date. I don’t usually kiss on the first date. But I like him so much that I did.”

You look at Jungkook sadly. You gauge the look on his face, but he just sits there with an unreadable expression on his face, though he listens. He always does. You’re not particularly looking for any response, anyway. And he just seems to know so well that right now, you just want to vent.

“It’s so embarrassing to say but I feel like he’s it, Kook.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “And I feel like… like the last time I felt this way about someone was with Eunwoo. And that was four years ago—” You let your head fall slightly. “And I’m so scared.” You don’t intend the crack in your voice when you say it.

“Hey,” Jungkook calls you again, turning his body towards you, reaching out to hold your arm.

“What if I’m wrong? Again?” You tell him.

It takes Jungkook a few seconds to answer.

“I think, __, that you’re a person with a big heart,” You scoff with a smile on your face at that. You get that a lot. But Jungkook insists, “I think you have so much love to give, you know? And I think… Mingyu’s a lucky guy if he gets to receive it.”

That makes your lips curl. Touched.

“You think so?”

Jungkook only nods.

“Why can’t you be nice to me like this all the time?” You crack a joke.

“I’m always nice to you,” Jungkook says in disbelief, obviously finding your words absurd. You only laugh but now Jungkook turns serious, and you fear you might have induced a genuine worry in him. “Am I not always nice to you?”

“You always tease me and shit in front of our friends but so incredibly sweet when we’re all alone.”

Jungkook stutters when he says, “Well… that’s my love language. Teasing you.”

You squint your eyes at him. “Awe, you love me?”

“Okay, fuck off.”

You burst into laughter when Jungkook rolls his eyes at you.

“Hey, swing me.”

You tell Jungkook, situating yourself more comfortably on the wooden platform attached to the chains.

“A dollar per minute.” He says, standing up from his own seat and placing himself behind you.

“I thought you hate capitalism? What is this?”

“This is forced labor.” Jungkook says with a groan that you think is a feigned exasperation, since you begin to feel movement right after it.

“You broke my hairdryer the other day. Consider this your compensation.” You look up at him to give him a smarmy smile.

Fom where you’re seated, you realize just how… big his presence is. It’s not the looming, ominous type, though – it’s quite the opposite. When Jungkook surrounds you, you find a bit of comfort in it – a huge one if you want to be honest to yourself.

“And I already bought you a new one. We’re even.” Jungkook squints his eyes at you.

You laugh.

“You’re gonna borrow and break it again.”

He visibly winces. “Touché.”

Jungkook swings you while you talk about your day, just like usual. He asks you about your laparoscopy that kept you from having lunch with the rest of your friends at the hospital earlier that day, about your new scrub cap, and you gossip a little about the new lab tech having a crush on the scrub nurse you both know.

For all his complaints earlier, Jungkook seemingly doesn’t seem to mind having swung you for the past ten minutes now. He’s relaxed and gentle with his movements, and his voice is quaint and soft as he talks to you.

But then you start to feel bad for him so you tell him to stop, standing up from the swing.

“Okay, your turn.”

Jungkook gives you a big grin.

“Nice.”

You chuckle at his enthusiasm when he sits on the swing chair this time around. But when you attempt a push, he barely moves, prompting him to laugh.

“What weak ass push was that?” He says incredulously, looking at you.

You jut your bottom lip out. “You’re heavy and I’m drunk.”

The second time you push him is more forceful but then Jungkook voices out a complaint after the third, fourth, and every single time you do it. You roll your eyes at his tantrums, but then suddenly, you think of a much better idea.

You push him off the swing with all your remaining strength even though your body feels like jelly from all the alcohol you consumed an hour ago.

“What the fuck, __?”

You burst out in boisterous laughter at Jungkook’s state, his hands and knees planted on the ground. He then sits on it, clapping his palms together to get rid of some dust that gathered on his skin.

Without thinking too much about it, you make quick steps over to his direction and situate yourself beside him.

Jungkook looks at you, confused, but you only give him a grin.

“Let’s lie on the ground.”

“What? No!” Jungkook immediately opposes it. As you expected.

You scrunch your face. “Oh! Look at me! I’m Jeon Jungkook and I’m a germaphobe and I’m afraid of dirt!” You say, intentionally making your voice a pitch higher.

Jungkook deadpans. “Pathogens can kill your cells’ metabolic machinery, so, yeah? I’m afraid of dirt.”

You roll your eyes at him and while he goes off about how they can also cause a toxic massive immune reaction, you push his chest forcefully which catches him off guard, prompting him to lay on the ground. Before he can say anything, you take his arm out to spread beside you and you use it to rest your head on.

Jungkook stops his rambling after that.

“See, shut up.” You say, backhanding him slightly on the chest. You fix your gaze at the skies.

“The sky is beautiful tonight. Worry about your pathogens next time.”

Jungkook chuckles, and you feel the vibration of his body as he does so, being so close to him.

As you peer up to look at him, you see him folding his other arm to lie his head on it.

You smile, going back to looking at the sky.

“This is like in The Notebook.” Jungkook says after a beat of silence.

“Right?” You grin. “And with the pathogens, too.” You tease.

Jungkook laughs, pinching your arm in his reach. “God, shut up about your pathogens.”

You chuckle at the irony.

“That’s me,” you point upwards, referring to a big twinkling light in the sky. Then, you move your finger towards the star beside it. “And then that’s you, ‘cause I’m a bigger star than you.”

You feel Jungkook look at you from his position. “You are so drunk.”

That causes you to giggle, clutching your stomach because you can’t stop laughing at pretty much everything tonight.

“I feel like I'm not anymore. My head just feels like it’s floating but no, definitely not drunk.”

“Whatever you say.” Jungkook says, chest vibrating from laughing at you.

“Hm. Race you to sleep, Jungkook.” You snuggle on his armpit. As you do, you smell a waft of your water lily springs body wash from Bath and Body Works. “Can you stop using my body wash?”

“What?” You can hear Jungkook say, but as he calls your name and more, his voice starts fading. “__? Hey, don’t sleep on me.”

You hum, eyes still closed.

“__, hey!” Jungkook grazes your arms. You can feel your head moving as Jungkook starts to sit, guiding your back to sit upright. He calls you again, gently tapping your cheek to wake you up.

The truth is, you’re really sleepy, but not so much that you can’t hear him anymore or move on your own.

Jungkook gives up trying to wake you up, though, convinced by your acting. Soon, he goes over in front of you, reaching for your arms and placing them around his neck.

“Just put your legs around me, yeah?” He whispers against your hair once you’re glued against his back.

You hum, intending it to sound like a mumble so Jungkook thinks you don’t actually understand.

Jungkook fixes your legs around him, standing up, bouncing a little to get you nice and snug in his back. You smile at the prospect of a piggyback ride.

“I know you’re awake, silly,” He says suddenly, his voice painted with amusement.

You stifle your laughter against his neck, breaking your supposed to be convincing act.

“Race you to the car, Kook.” you whisper into his ear.

Jungkook scoffs, but he doesn’t say anything more until you reach his car. He wears your seatbelt for you, though, and tells you to drink more water from his tumbler.

You fall asleep easily mid-drive.

In the morning, you wake up with a banging headache, your eyes catching the sight of a post-it note on your desk with one tab of Advil.

morning/afternoon stinky i made porridge before i left for my shift just heat it up again when you wake up ps: your medical bill from my personal care will be discussed later when i get back home. no friends discount allowed — your angelic friend, kookie

You chuckle at the (annoyingly elaborate) sketch of an angry bunny on the side.

“Mingyu,” you call his attention. Mingyu turns to look at you. “This is a really nice place.”

He smiles at your remark. Mingyu moves his hand from your waist to your lower back as he leads you to the entrance door.

“I’m glad you think so. I’ve been wanting to bring you here for a while.”

When you both reach the door, Mingyu introduces himself to the butler. You let the two of them talk for a while, him confirming his reservation, your eyes roaming around the restaurant and taking in the classy interior.

“Please follow me, Mr. Kim and Ms. __,”

The butler gestures inside and you both follow behind him.

It’s another one of your date nights. While it isn’t unusual for you both to get fancy with dinners, you’ve gotten used to the casual dinners you’ve been having at his own place with take-outs and his impressive cooking.

But tonight is a little different. There’s a certain something in the air – especially when Mingyu especially asked you to dress a little more formally. He always has a suit on naturally with his line of work, but tonight he’s wearing a particularly shiny one. The tie is something you’ve never seen before, but maybe you just like to think that. You on the other hand settled for an indigo satin dress that hugs your figure like a glove and shows just enough skin. You’ve always thought you looked good in it.

And you think it’s perfect for when Mingyu asks something that will change the trajectory of your relationship for good.

Today marks the third month since you started seeing each other. You don’t know if he’s aware of it – but it’s been, indeed, whole three months. An monthsary some sort? Granted, there’s no official label to it, at least not yet. But with the fancy set-up and the way he cryptically replied to when you asked him what the whole thing was for tonight, you think he does know. And this is his idea of surprise.

Of course, you don’t let yourself get obsessed with the idea lest you end up with only mere assumptions.

“Thank you.” You both say to the butler as he leads you both to your table. He gives you the menu book and you take your sweet time to choose from the selection, giving the butler your orders after a few minutes.

When he leaves, Mingyu looks at you wearing his usual charming smile.

You don’t think you’ll ever tire of his face.

“This is really fancy,” You tell him, smiling.

“It’s sort of like special place,” Mingyu chuckles. “You know, Mr. Yang– the senior partner over at work– officially announced me as partner here.” He tells you, eyes looking into yours.

You feel your heart do a somersault at his gaze and the possibility of his words.

“Good steak?” You say, trying to act oblivious to the weight of his confession. You also don’t want to assume he’s saying what you think he’s saying…

“Yeah, yeah,” He nods his head, chuckling, then his laughter fades as he begins to look more serious when he continues, “So… it’s been three months since we started seeing each other.”

Your heart skips a bit when you listen to his words. You didn’t think what you were thinking earlier was true, but now that he’s brought it up, you deduce you might not be too far away.

“__,” Mingyu calls. You hum, leaning in closer to let him know you’re listening attentively. He gives you a coy smile, then his hand on the table moves over towards yours. You don’t fight your big smile off when he places it on top of yours, especially when you feel the warmth it radiates and how it looks like it could just easily enclose your own. “You said you wanted to take things slow, and I respect that. I just want you to know that this is – this thing between us – it’s serious for me.”

“I’m serious about us two.” You say immediately.

Mingyu chuckles, simpering when he looks at you again. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“So?” You ask, waiting.

“I want to be your boyfriend. If you let me.” Mingyu says, clear and firm. “It’s just… I’m happy with our dates. And I just love hanging out with you. But I think I’ll be even happier if we go out together as boyfriend and girlfriend – officially – from now on.”

You nibble on your bottom lip; couldn’t contain the big smile you’ve been fighting against since earlier.

You’ve been expecting the question ever since you got here, but you’re quite surprised for your assumptions to be right.

“Okay.” You say coolly.

Mingyu furrows his brow. “Okay– as in…?”

“Okay, as in, I wanna be your girlfriend.”

His lips part. “Are you… for real?” You nod your head repeatedly, stifling a giggle as Mingyu begins to smile so widely. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” you lightheartedly scold.

Mingyu nods his head, still smiling. “I’m sorry, I’m just—” he cuts himself off with a chuckle. “You’re my girlfriend now.”

“Yeah.” You chuckle.

“I wish I can kiss you right now.”

You feel your cheeks heat up as you look around. There are too many people. But the hopeless romantic in you tells you it’s okay.

“Why won’t you?” You challenge him, and Mingyu arches a brow at that.

He looks like he’s giving in, but then he shakes his head. With a smile that borders on flirtatious, he leans closer to you and whispers, “Later.”

Mingyu’s sweet promise at the restaurant ends up with you straddling his lap on the driver’s seat, your dress riding over your thighs and the thin straps falling off your shoulder.

"Fuck," Mingyu breathes in your ear, hands full of your ass while you continue to grind against the bulging crotch of his slacks.

You're not any better, panting on the crook of his neck as he encourages you to move on top of him. You feel the wet kisses he bestows across the column of your neck, moaning at the delicious friction from one particular thrust of his hips.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, in your defense. Your dinner ended on a really good note and Mingyu was just supposed to lean in for one sweet kiss once you were situated in his car.

But then you swiped your tongue over his lips and Mingyu threw away his gentlemanly act for the night, granting you back with a kiss that had more fervor in it. Forceful in a way that says he wants you.

And the feeling’s more than mutual.

His coat’s long gone now, stashed away on his back seat, and you’ve already undone the top three buttons of his dress shirt. Mingyu squeezes your boob over the thin material of your dress, prompting you to let out a low moan.

“Why—” Mingyu cuts himself off to kiss your lips one more time.

“Why don’t we go to your place?”

You don’t register his words the first time, too drunk from the sensation of his touch over your body.

“Yeah?” You mindlessly say, eyes shut as Mingyu peppers kisses to your jaw down to your neck once again.

“You’ve never invited me to your place.”

At that, your eyes open and you still on top of him.

“What?”

Mingyu looks up, and you’re about to be distracted by his messy hair and his swollen lips but then he says, “We’ve never gone to your place before.”

“Oh.”

He’s quick to gauge your reaction. Cupping your jaw, he plants a kiss to the side of your lips. “I’m not insisting if you don’t want to.”

“N-no, I want to,” is your immediate response. “It’s just…” you trail off, thinking about how to approach the subject.

Mingyu hums, waiting for your next words, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. It helps you regulate your nervousness at the sudden mention of your place.

“I have a roommate.”

There you let it out.

Somehow in the past three months you’ve been dating, you never mentioned that you’re living with Jungkook. The subject just never came up – until now, that is – and you didn’t really feel the need to tell him when he never asked in the first place.

But deep inside, you’re a bit hesitant to tell him about it. Sure, Jungkook’s his friend, and Mingyu did say they were close and knew each other well, so it shouldn’t be a problem for him that you’re residing with his close friend – but that’s exactly what makes the whole thing weird. It’s one thing as a woman to live with a man in one place, and it’s another if that man is a friend of your – well, now boyfriend.

And you know to yourself that you and Jungkook are purely platonic so there should be absolutely nothing to be worried about. It’s not even that you don’t trust Mingyu to understand – it’s just that it’s not as easy to tell him straight up. Not when you’re just starting a relationship right now with an official label to it – not when you’re finally in a serious relationship after four whole years of looking and waiting.

You don’t want to ruin it. Not right now.

“Oh, okay.” Mingyu nods at your confession, understanding. “Is it why…?”

You nod your head, already getting what he means. Licking your lips, you look anywhere but his eyes. Instead, you focus your gaze on the exposed upper part of his chest and let your fingers toy with his collar. Mingyu lets you.

“But… roommate’s away for the night.” You tell him. And it’s true. Jungkook told you he has a date tonight and that usually means he won’t be going home.

And you want Mingyu so bad it’s not even funny anymore.

That puts a smile on your boyfriend’s face.

“She is, huh?”

Your heart skips a bit, and you give him a smile you hope he doesn’t recognize as fake.

Somehow, you don’t bother to correct him even though Jungkook – your very roommate – is most definitely not a she.

“And here goes my bedroom,” You say as you open your door, letting Mingyu in. You’re not really worried about its state because thank god you cleaned up before leaving for your date tonight. Jungkook’s the cleaner one though, and that’s an advantage because he’s kind of obsessed with cleaning the whole apartment and not just his room when he has the time. It’s exactly why Mingyu pays you a compliment on the neatness of the place.

“Cute,” he muses, looking at the Sanrio plushies on your nightstand.

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling a little shy. Mingyu’s place is the definition of bachelor – his bedroom’s literally out of an Architectural Digest page. And while you’re proud of your Sanrio plushie collection – they’re your childhood gifts and you’ve collected them until college and they were expensive as hell – you can’t help but think that maybe you’re coming off as childish right now. You wish you could’ve hidden them or something…

You hope Mingyu doesn’t think too much about it.

“I like the room,” Mingyu says, looking at you who’s sitting on the edge of your bed. “It feels very… you.”

“Really?” You chuckle. “I mean, I’d hope so. I’ve been here for two years.”

Mingyu chuckles, following you to the bed. You feel the mattress sinking in when he sits beside you.

“I wanted to give you something at the restaurant earlier, but I kinda chickened out,” He says.

You arch your brow. “What is it?”

You watch as Mingyu takes something out of his pocket, your heart skipping a few beats when it turns out to be a jewelry box. Mingyu looks at you and smiles, hands slowly opening the velvet box, and your lips part when it reveals a dainty silver necklace with a small drop diamond pendant.

“Wow.” You utter, eyes blinking repeatedly, not knowing how to react.

“Well…?” Mingyu says, gauging your reaction.

“You’re giving that to me?” You ask in pure disbelief. He only nods. “That’s really– it’s really pretty.”

“I thought about you when I picked it up. It made sense.” He says smoothly, and you giggle at his words.

God, you like him so much.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” You chuckle, cupping your face with your hands as if it could make the blood go away from your cheeks. “Thank you.”

“I’d love to wear it on you.” Mingyu smiles.

“Of course.”

He takes out the necklace from the box and asks you to turn around for a bit. You do so, helping him put your hair over one shoulder. You can feel him scooting closer to your back, his breathing on your nape, and the way he slowly caresses your shoulder first before his arms go around your neck to lock the necklace around your nape.

The cold of the material hits your skin, just on time when you feel Mingyu planting a kiss on your clavicle.

“It’s really pretty.” You say in awe, touching the pendant.

“Hm,” Mingyu continues to pepper your skin with small kisses. “You’re beautiful.” You turn to look at him, smiling. He mirrors that and cups your jaw to give you a peck on the lips. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

You giggle when he squeezes your waist.

“Thank you.” you say in between your laughter. You hold his arms and stand up from the bed to place yourself in front of him. Mingyu looks up at you with one brow raised, but he’s quick to manspread when you begin to straddle his lap. As you situate yourself on top of him, you wrap your arms around his neck and let him run his hands across your body when you do so. “I really appreciate the necklace.”

“Yeah?” Mingyu whispers against your lips.

You hum, trailing your fingers down his collar then start to unbutton his shirt. When you get the few undone, you look Mingyu into his eyes and he meets your lips that crash into his in a few seconds.

You suppose it’s not exactly surprising that the kiss turns heated way too quickly. After all, you were both humping each other in his car earlier.

Sighing into the kiss, you tug at his hair, and it prompts his hands to squeeze your ass a little too tight. Mingyu breaks the kiss and there’s a barely noticeable string of saliva when your lips move away from each other. He trails kisses from your jaw down to the base of your neck, taking the straps of your dress down, hands beginning to rub your bare arms.

“So beautiful,” Mingyu sighs, lips travelling back to your own. He prods his tongue in your mouth that you gladly open for him. You let out a moan from the sensation of his tongue against yours, clutching his shoulders so hard you're sure you're gonna imprint your nails on his skin despite the shirt he still has on.

"Mingyu," you whisper, mouth ajar and gaping uselessly against his hair as his mouth leaves yours eventually to go down to your cleavage. His wandering fingers go around your back to fumble with the ribbons that are holding the dress, and you’re quick to help him tug it down completely until your chest is out for his full viewing.

Mingyu hisses at the lack of bra – except the nipple tapes – when the top of the dress comes off. He stops and stares, then takes a long and deep breath, as if the sight of your breasts intoxicated him; sighing as if he's long wished to see you like this.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so hot." He cups the swell of your chest in his two large palms, fondling them as you continue rolling your pelvis against his straining crotch area. He grazes the silicon material covering your nipples, looks up at you as if to ask.

“Y-yeah,” you sigh out, knowing what he meant with the look.

Taking them off gently, Mingyu earns a moan from you, the sound getting a bit louder when he puts one of the two peaks in his mouth, and the sight is nothing short of erotic.

It elicits a sharp breath from you, hands flying to his soft and brunette locks. You almost feel bad thinking that you've been grabbing at them since earlier.

But you have more important things to mind than attending to Mingyu’s silky and healthy hair.

You seek for his lips which he gives you almost automatically when he notices you asking for it, the two of you meeting in a hungry kiss, your nails on one hand clawing at his back as you cup his jaw in the other. But his hands don't leave your breasts, palming them roughly but just right; squeezing so hard all the while tugging at your nipples.

For a moment, you take a halt, catching your breath and look at him with your hooded eyes. You kiss the corner of his mouth. "Take your shirt off."

He does as you say so, and you help him unbutton the entirety of his dress shirt to get the thing off him faster. Mingyu lets go of your boobs but quickly holds them as soon as his shirt is off. This time he flicks at both your nipples, and you can’t help but bite at his neck. The pleasure’s too much and you can feel yourself dripping down your thong, the sticky feeling of it making you squirm on his lap.

As if Mingyu has read your mind, he grips your waist and sets you down on the bed. He hovers over you, fingers idly exploring under the skirt of your dress until he finds the band of your panties.

You groan when you feel the cold brush of air on your bare thighs, suddenly feeling impatient. "Mingyu,"

“You want me to eat you out?” He whispers, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

You almost cry at his question.

“Yes,”

Mingyu drags his fingers on your clothed core, groaning when he feels how soiled your thong is. "You're so fucking wet, sweetheart. Look at you," he sighs, hands leaving your pussy as he leans back and palms the strain of his pants. Your toes curl at the sight, uneven breaths puffing from your lips. "Look so sweet under me."  

And you're also a mess under him, writhing and completely getting lightheaded from his actions.

You let out a mewl when he pushes up the skirt of your dress to your hips, dragging down your underwear to your thighs.

Lifting your butt off the mattress, you help him get it off of you completely and you don't miss the way the flimsy thong sticks to your pussy before he takes it off you entirely. Mingyu seems to notice as well, judging from the way he hissed under his breath.

Your pussy is slick and sloppy, wet and dripping for him.

"So fucking pretty for me, god, I can’t believe I get to have you like this," he whispers against your throbbing heat, leaving a small kiss on your clit.

You arch your back when he uses his finger to run it through your slit, adding another one to spread your walls. Mingyu groans at the juices that stick to his digits.

As he adjusts himself on the mattress, hands gripping the back of your knees, you push them up until you're bended in almost half. You hold up your own legs, getting whiplashed when he licks a long, firm and deep stripe over you, making your eyes roll from the back of your head, breath hitching as you keep yourself steady in your own hold.

"Oh my god – Mingyu!–"

He starts slow, kissing around your labia, the tip of his tongue teasing your clit. Your head falls from the mountain of pillows under you, suddenly feeling frustrated.

"S-stop teasing me. Please, Mingyu,"

Ending your misery, he spreads your thighs, puckers his lips and dusts a few pecks over your bare heat and dives in for it seconds later with too much fervor. He savors every drop that oozes out from your hole, licking and lapping until you feel his tongue inside you. Mingyu could be spelling out his name for all it matters, but you really couldn't give a fuck.

"Oh, fuuuuck–" you groan, trying so hard to keep yourself steady. "S-so good,"

He hums in your pussy, and you don't help the way one of your legs drop to the mattress, the other one hooking on his shoulder. It makes you grab for his hair, pushing his head down and thrashing underneath his face.

It felt like minutes passed and you're almost crying by how good it all feels, his tongue doing wonders in the walls of your heat.

Soon, tears start to well in your eyes because of the pleasure, drawn out moans and heavy breaths filling the room. You couldn’t care less about the volume. Right now, you just want to cum.

"Your fingers, Mingyu,” You sigh out, and before you could even prepare yourself, he's inserting his middle finger inside you, pushing it in until it's knuckle-deep. "Oh god!"

“Yeah?”

He starts at an average pace until he adds another finger in your entrance, this time picking up his speed – and it makes you drip everywhere.

When he settles on scissoring his fingers inside you, moving at an abnormal pace that have you gasping under him, your body shake and your toes curl on the sheets. Mingyu swoops down to kiss your pussy again, two digits being repeatedly swallowed by your warm hole, slurping every juice that comes out of it. As he feels you tremble, the precedence of you nearing your climax, he takes his thumb to your clit.

"Oh, fuck, fuck," your pant, "I'm coming–fuck–“

Mingyu removes his fingers from you, exchanging them with his tongue instead and you cry out while he continues to rub your clit vigorously.

And when you arch your back higher this time, you spasm around his fingers, moaning uncontrollably.

“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it,” Mingyu whispers, pecking your heat a few more times to calm you down from your high. After a few moments, he removes your thigh from his shoulder, quickly coming up to kiss you on the mouth.

You taste yourself on his tongue but you couldn’t pay much attention to it when you feel his dick against your thigh. Closing your eyes, you let exhaustion wash over you.

Mingyu lets you stay still, and when you open your eyes again, you see him staring at you with a warm smile dancing across his lips. Your heart skips a beat, could no longer feel it but hear it instead, and you bite your lip, pushing his chest away slightly in an attempt to get on top of him.

“Let me suck your cock.” You say, but Mingyu shakes his head, firm on his place: on top of you.

“Let’s do that next time. Tonight, I have to fuck you well into the next day.”

And he does.

You didn't cum again – you usually don't from penetrative sex – and your first orgasm exhausted you way too much to let yourself go the second time. Mingyu didn't mind, telling you it was fine when you gave him an apology about it.

You wake up panicking at the thought that you’re going to be late for work.

Scrambling to sit on your bed, you take your alarm clock in your hands, letting out a dramatic “Thank god” when you see it read as 5:06am. Your alarm goes off at 5:30 as your weekday shift starts at seven.

Which means it’s still early. And you’re not going to be late for work like you feared.

You remember last night’s events though, and your eyes quickly go over to the other side of your bed.

Mingyu’s not in it – but it feels warm. An indication of the fact that he stayed the night over after what you did. You also deduced that he must’ve only gotten out a few minutes before you woke up.

Thinking he’s outside your room, you begin to stand up – groaning the way your thighs ache a bit as you do so. You’re only dressed in your panties and camisole, and you thought about going out in them – but then it made you feel a little weird. Okay, sure, Mingyu’s already seen everything there is to see – you had sex last night – but being naked in a non-sexual fashion in front of someone is kind of a little different, so you opt on putting on a pair of short shorts.

As you head towards your door, fingers ready to twist the knob, you’re surprised to see Mingyu meeting you halfway.

“Hey—”

“Why the hell is Jungkook here?”

Your smile drops and you look at him in confusion.

Mingyu wears an expression you’ve never seen him in before. He’s pissed. Eyebrows furrowed, gaze not soft like it usually is when it comes to you, and above all… his tone borders on accusatory.

“Why is he in the living room saying he’s your roommate?” Mingyu asks once again when you don’t say anything.

“I—” but you’re rendered speechless, frozen in your position. Your mouth moves but nothing comes out. Your brain is a jumble of thoughts and all you can think about is Mingyu seemingly getting mad at you.

“__?” A voice that’s absolutely familiar speaks up. You hear Jungkook’s steps getting closer to your door when he finally shows himself to you. “What’s Mingyu doing here? And why doesn’t he know we live together?”

Mingyu forces himself inside your bedroom and bumps into you a bit as he faces you with a venomous tone. “I’m going.” He declares, grabbing his shirt from your desk chair and putting on his belt.

“Mingyu, it’s not—”

“Save it, __.” He cuts you off before you can finish your sentence, hastily buttoning up his dress shirt.

Jungkook frowns and butts in. “Mingyu, let her talk. I told you earlier, we’re roommates—”

“Jeon,” You turn to look at him, almost spitting out his name. “Not now.”

You see Jungkook visibly recoiling at that. But you’re too concerned over Mingyu already on his way out the door, ready to leave.

“Mingyu, just hear me out.” You say, looking at him sincerely.

“I don’t wanna hear it. Not right now.” Mingyu tells you with a cold look paired with a cold tone. You deflate, taken aback at how nothing on his face screams like he cares about you. He glances at his watch. “I have to go to work.”

He heads towards your apartment door and you follow him there, hoping to change his mind about hearing you out.

“I know what you’re thinking right now, and it’s not that, Gyu.” You tell him once again, following him outside your unit.

Mingyu stands there for a while. Then, he sighs, putting his thumb over his temple. He heaves out a breath, looking into your eyes as he says, “I just don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? Let’s just… let things cool down for a bit.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “How do you mean?”

“I’m flying to Chicago this afternoon but I’ll be back in the evening. I’ll call you later after work.” He says, and now his face doesn’t look so devoid of emotions like how it was earlier.

But you worry about his words.

“You’re flying to another state.” You reiterate, just so you know you heard him right.

“It’s just for a few hours, sweetheart,” The petname soothes you a little but then he continues to add, “Look, I’m not sure of how I feel about… Jungkook being your roommate. You didn’t tell me about it– just imagine my surprise when I saw him after I went out of your room. It’s not a nice feeling to get lied to,” He says, and you feel an arrow shooting straight to your heart at that. You blink your eyes, feeling like there are tears forming on the sides. Mingyu seems to notice that as he steps closer to you and rubs your arm. “We’ll talk later, __. Just not now. Give me time to process this.”

You give him a weak smile.

Mingyu cups your cheek, and you lean towards his touch. Rubbing a thumb over your skin, he leans down to kiss your lips.

When he breaks away after a quick moment, he tells you, “Later, hm? I promise.” You nod. Mingyu gives you a smile. “And thank you for last night.”

That erases your worry. Not all, but some of it.

“Thank you too.”

“Alright, I’m going, okay?” Mingyu lets go of your face and you look at him as he turns around after you bid your goodbye.

You watch his retreating back in the hallway from your position, nibbling on your bottom lip trying to process the turn of events – and it’s only five fucking am still.

When you enter your apartment again, you see Jungkook sitting on the couch of your living room. And he looks just as pissed when your gaze falls to him.

“What the hell was that?” He welcomes you with.

“What the hell is this?” You point back at him. “You told me you weren’t coming home.”

“Yeah, but I have work – which we both go to at the same time, by the way. Apparently, you’re bringing boys now to this goddamn place.”

You do a double take at his tone.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” You say, voicing starting to pick up volume. You feel irritation bubbling up inside you as Jungkook stands up from the couch and turns his back to you, ignoring your question as he heads to the direction of the kitchen.

“I said we’re both gonna be late for work.”

You follow his steps. “No, you said I’m “bringing boys here”, what do you mean by that?” You grab his arm and that’s effective enough to make him turn around and look at you. But he avoids eye contact. “Don’t turn your back to me when I’m talking to you, Jungkook.”

“I’m so sorry then, I’ll make sure to look into your eyes when I say every word that comes out of my mouth from now on.” He sarcastically says, and your annoyance grows.

“Watch your goddamn tone.”

Jungkook scoffs. “You’re the one to talk about watching tones when you literally just told me to shut up in front of your boyfriend?”

Your frown instantly. So you were right to think that moved him a little. But you tell him your confusion, “Where the hell did you get that? I didn’t tell you to shut up.”

“Yeah, you just told me “not now” like I’m a child trying to insert himself in mommy and daddy’s little argument. You might as well just have told me to shut the fuck up.”

The way he phrased your argument with Mingyu “little” rubs you off the wrong way.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” you sarcastically say. “Did getting told to shut up by a woman in front of another man hurt your big macho man ego?” 

“You’re making it about another thing.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, opening the refrigerator and taking out a loaf of bread.

“You think I forgot about your little “bringing boys here” comment?” You point out, but Jungkook decides now is the time to be an asshole and starts acting nonchalant instead, putting jam all over his bread. But you see the tick in his jaw, the tongue prodding against his mouth. He’s just as pissed as you are right now.

“And you sure as hell did. I don’t know what to tell you.”

You seethe. “Fuck you. I don’t bring “boys” here. Mingyu’s my boyfriend,” You say, and to be petty, you add, “As if you’ve never ever brought girls here before?”

Jungkook looks at you instantly. “Don’t you dare pin that on me. That was in the very first week that we lived together, mind you. But you told me how uncomfortable it made you feel and I thought about boundaries since then and never did it again. Why do you think I come over at their place instead of just hanging out here, huh, __? Even when we didn’t verbally agree on not having sex around this place, I thought it would be a goddamn principle. Heck,” He looks somewhere and scoffs, “Mingyu didn’t even know I’m your roommate. What did you tell him?”

You open your mouth to make a rebuttal, but nothing comes.

Because you realize in the middle of his outburst that… he’s right.

The first time that you saw a woman coming out of his own room and Jungkook noticing your discomfort about it, he just stopped doing his… thing in the apartment. It wasn’t a verbal agreement, as per his words, but he’s right. It should have been a principle.

In the past two years you lived with each other – that was the only time he ever did it. It became an unspoken rule: don’t bring your hook-ups here. But you never really had to worry about that unspoken rule because you didn’t do one-night-stands often, and when you did hook up with people over the past two years, it was rare so it was easy to do it in their place.

It has become a norm for you that you don’t see other people here anymore except for your friends when they invite themselves over – but you aren’t aware that Jungkook’s apparently making an active choice to specifically not hook up in here this whole time.

Coupled with the fact that you didn’t tell Mingyu about him being your roommate and him being caught up with your argument earlier – you feel a sense of guilt. A huge one at that.

But the stubborn part in you thinks that Mingyu’s different. He’s not a mere hook-up. He’s your boyfriend now! Couldn’t that be an exemption to the rule that’s unspoken in the first place?

“I…” you trail off, scolding yourself internally for not forming a coherent thought faster than you’d like.

When you don’t follow it up with anything, Jungkook takes his plate with him, turning on his heels away from you.

“See you at work.” He says, but it’s sarcastic and clipped.

Jungkook leaves one piece of bread for you though – just like he always does. And you take that as a sign that he’s not all that mad at you.

… Maybe?

You stand there in the middle of your kitchen island like some stupid stoned individual, going over the things that happened for the past – what – twenty minutes? You don’t even fucking know. Your wall clock in the living room had run out of battery, and your brain is too occupied with messy thoughts scattered all around you can feel a headache coming.

One thing’s for sure, though: you’re in the wrong. With Mingyu and with Jungkook. And you need to make it right somehow.

PART TWO | PART THREE

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“So we have to figure it out, Dad!” Chris presses. “We have to! I can’t let her down!” 

“You’re putting a lot of pressure on the prom, Christopher,” Eddie says. “You know, it’s okay, right? You already got into a great college! That’s the big thing.”

Chris glares at him. 

Okay, that logic is not going over well, then. 

Buck walks back into the living room and hands Eddie his glass of water.

“Thank you,” Eddie says.

Buck bends to kiss the top of Eddie’s head by way of response. 

“Listen, Chris,” he says when he straightens out again. “I have a lot of wedding errands to run tomorrow, but if you and Ainslee can be flexible, I can try to fit your thing in.”

“Hon-” Eddie starts to protest. 

“It’s really fine,” Buck waves a dismissive hand. 

“Thank you, Buck!” Chris gushes. “You’re the best!”

Okay, it’s not like Eddie doesn’t want to do it. Jeez. He literally cannot. 

“Hey, you know, if Mom can jet off to Cabo, and Dad is a hotshot at work, why can’t Ainslee drive herself?” Eddie asks. “Out of curiosity.”

If he made money like that, he’d be buying his son the 

“Ugh, Dad,” Chris rolls her eyes. “She hates Los Angeles traffic.”

“Does anyone not?” Buck asks.

“She lives in Los Angeles,” Eddie says. “But yeah. Okay.”

“Dad!” Chris protests. “Come on. She has anxiety.”

“Hey, Chris,” Buck says. “Your dad has had a long, crappy day. I know Prom is super important, but maybe we can just keep that in perspective.”

Says the guy who was worried earlier that Eddie’s air boot might clash with his wedding tux. Right. But, you know what, Eddie will take it. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. 

Chris sighs. “Yeah. You’re probably on all kinds of pain medication making you foggy.”

“Uh…” Eddie frowns. He is not, in fact, high on pain meds. 

“Sorry, Dad. I’m going to go back to my game,” Chris says. 

“By all means, my most darling child,” Eddie says with a forced smile. 

“Oh, yeah. I see what you mean, Buck,” Chris winces. 

Chris walks back to his room, leaving Eddie gaping. Buck laughs and flops down next to Eddie on the couch. 

“Is my son a monster?” Eddie asks. “He’s like a bridezilla and he’s not even the one getting married.”

Buck sort of snickers. “He really is.”

Eddie moans, defeated.

“Relax,” Buck says. “He’s just trying to impress this girl.”

Ainslee? The kid who complained for fifteen minutes that their classmate accidentally ordered votive faux-candles instead of tealights. That’s… Well, okay. Chris is the kid who still insists on a specific cranberry to popcorn ratio on garlands for Christmas… Maybe it does make sense. 

“You think so?” Eddie asks.

“Oh, yeah,” Buck nods. 

“He can’t be with her,” Eddie whispers. “Think of how insane they’d be together? That wedding? No thanks.”

Buck laughs. “Not everyone marries their high school girlfriend.”

“He’s a Diaz. We all do!” 

“Listen, Eddie. He likes her, he wants to dance with her at Prom, maybe-”

“Don’t,” Eddie cuts him off. 

“I’m just saying,” Buck continues. “He’s not really this crazy about a dance. He just has a fantasy in his head about Ainslee.”

Eddie sighs. “Guess that makes sense. When I was his age, my dad breaking a foot would not have kept me from going after what I wanted.”

“Mmm,” Buck nods. “I might have broken my dad’s foot.”

“I really hope it’s not a comparable scenario,” Eddie says.

Buck chuckles and squeezes his hand. “Obviously not. Just, relax, okay? Focus on healing that foot, and I will make sure Chris and Prom and the wedding are handled.”

Eddie sighs. “Thank you, hon.”

“And killing the probie.”

“Oh my god.”

[raindrop-21]

Scarred Love: Chapter Four: Apologies And Understanding

A/n: I was a bit self-indulgent with a small part about the scars

Word count: 1,396

Cw: Ghoap x f!reader, soulmates, talk about scars, talk about past surguries

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch5, Ch6, Ch7~ Masterlist

Johnny’s hold on you never lessens in grip. You’re not sure what to do until you feel two small drops of water hit your shoulder. By instinct, you wrap your arms around Johnny, slowly rubbing your hand up and down his back. Simon grabs your other hand, as if he’s seeking comfort from you as well. You wished you could read their minds, if you could, you would know what’s upsetting them. 

“Johnny, Simon, what's wrong? Why are you guys crying?” You ask with the confusion painfully present in your voice.

Johnny hiccups, “I’m sorry, Lass.” He heaves out in a sob.

“Me too, I’m sorry as well.” Simon mumbles, his voice barely higher than whisper.

You still can’t help but wonder what is making them so upset. As you continue to comfort them, Simon by slowly rubbing his knuckles with your thumb, and Johnny by rubbing his back in circles, you start thinking about what could have upset them. They looked at your scars, that’s what caused this, but what about your scars? What’s upsetting them so much about them? You rack your brain for any answers you could possibly come up with.

There are a few you come up with that don’t make much sense, but you finally come up with one that makes sense: they’re upset with the pain that the scars caused you. You can’t help but think it’s sweet how upset they are with what happened. They’ve barely known you, and they’re crying for you.

“Oh, boys…” You coo at them sweetly, you want to kiss Johnny’s forehead, but you don’t, you don’t know if he’d allow you.

You let them cry it out. Johnny’s hold on you never falters, and Simon’s grip on your hand just seems to get tighter and tighter, but not to the point of pain. You wait for them to calm down, Johnny’s sobs turn into slow, deep breaths. Simon just wipes his eyes and cheeks after letting a few stray tears fall. You continue silently comforting the two of them. Johnny lifts his head from the crook of your neck, his eyes are red, and his cheeks are slightly stained with tears.

“Lass, how’d you do it? How’d you tolerate the pain we gave you? Don’t you hate us?” As he speaks, his voice breaks, as if he’s about to start crying again.

You make a little shushing noise before speaking; “I don’t hate you guys, don’t think that even for a second. I had a good network of people around me and plenty of pain meds.” You say the last part with a slight chuckle, hoping your joke might bring a smile to Johnny's face, maybe even Simon’s.

Your joke somewhat worked, the corners of Johnny’s mouth lifted for a second before falling back into a pout. Johnny points to a bullet-shaped scar on your shoulder.

“This, this, had to hurt. It hurt like hell for us...” He places his thumb on the scar and gently rubs over it.

You grab his face with both of your hands and look him in the eyes, “Johnny, it did hurt, but that’s part of the whole ‘soulmate’ thing; you get hurt, I get hurt too.”

He hugs you again, this time burying his hand in the hair on the back of your head. Simon scoots closer to the two of you, wraps an arm around Johnny, and an arm around you, pulling the two of you into a hug. The two of them pull away from the hug simultaneously, and Simon looks straight at you.

“Are there any scars you got yourself?” He asks, his voice laced with curiosity.

“Yes actually.” 

You wiggle around in Johnny’s lap so that you’re facing Simon and both of your legs are on the couch. You point to your knees, where on the inner sides of both are two vertical scars from surgeries in your teen years.

“What’re those from?” Simon asks curiously with a raised eyebrow.

“I had to get surgeries to keep my knees from dislocating in middle and high school.” You explain with a shrug.

“Ah, so that’s where those came from.” Johnny says, as he adjusts you in his lap so he can roll up his pant legs, and you can see scars that match your own.

You look over to Simon and since he’s wearing cargo shorts you can already see the matching scars. Your heart beats faster as it becomes clearer and clearer that you’re all three of each other’s soulmates. You yourself start to cry at the overwhelming amount of emotions; happiness, excitement, nervousness, any other emotion you can’t put a name on. You never wanted a soulmate, you cursed the world for predetermining who you would be with for the rest of your life. But now, you’re thanking the world for giving you not one, but two soulmates.

Johnny and Simon look concerned as you start to cry, but they soon realize that you’re crying tears of happiness. They hug you and let you cry it out. It doesn’t take long for you to stop crying due to the questions racing through your mind. You wipe your tears and decide to ask the one that’s most predominant in your mind.

“What are we now? Are we dating or…?”  The shy, nervousness you harbor creeps into your voice as you speak.

Johnny and Simon share a glance and then look back at you.

“Bonnie girl, we .... We want to court you properly.” Johnny replies with a sweet smile.

Simon nods in response, “Like take ya on dates and stuff like that.” 

You nod in response, you want that, but there’s one tiny problem, you’re only in England because of a girls’ trip on a visa.

“I would love that, but there is one problem; I live in America. I’m here in England on a traveling visa.” You explain softly with a sigh.

“Shite…” Johnny murmurs as he rubs the stubble on his jaw.

“Darlin’, y’know there’s a soulmate visa, right?” Simon asks as he places a hand on your knee.

“There is? I had no clue, how does it work?” You’ve never heard of a soulmate visa, probably because you’ve never looked into it.

“If you can prove that you’ve met your soulmate, or in our case, soulmates, you can get a visa that lets you stay in the same country with your soulmate, as long as it’s your birth country.” He explains matter-of-factly.

“Oh, well, that’s quite convenient.” You say with a smile and a giggle. “So how do we do it?” You ask eagerly.

“I believe that we just have to go to the courthouse. I think it’s about the same as a marriage certificate, but you have to do a physical exam to prove that you’re really soulmates.” Simon clarified.

“Well, why don’t we go and do that tomorrow, what do you say, Lass?” Johnny asked with a smirk.

“I think we should.” You reply with a smile.

Simon looks at the clock and notices how late it is, it’s nearly two in the morning.

“Well, why don’t we head to bed now, it’s getting late.” Simon offered kindly with a hand gesture towards the bed.

“Yeah, sure, why don’t we do that.” You say with a smile.

Johnny smiles as well, but his smile falters for a moment, “What are our sleeping arrangements going to be?”

Simon thinks for a moment before looking back at you and Johnny, “Luv, if you want we can all share the bed, or if it makes you more comfortable, Johnny and I can sleep on the pullout couch, and you can have the bed. It’s up to you.”

Johnny looks at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen, practically begging you to say you want to share the bed.

You think for a moment, you decide you don’t want to deny Johnny.

“Let’s share the bed.” You say sweetly before you get off of Johnny’s lap.

After you get off of Johnny’s lap, you pick up your shirt, and put it back on. You walk over to the generously sized bed, and sit on the corner of it. You look over at Johnny and Simon.

“C’mon, you guys gonna get in?” You say with a smile as you lift the corner of the blanket, asking them to join you quickly.

Taglist:

@under-the-dirt @littlebluespoon @actuallyhiswife @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @cdej6 @whynotbad

[justmeinadaze]

Date Night (A Night In) Steve X You

A/N: I wrote this last night because my period is being aggressive and I just need sensitive Steve to come over and take care of me <3.

Warning: Period, Shower smut, lots of fluff

Word Count: 2022

Steve was surprised when he came home and your car was already in the driveway. As he opened the door, he was met with total chaos. 

“Hey!”, he claps his hands immediately silencing the younger Harrington boys. “Why is everyone yelling?!”

“Junior is being mean and won’t let me play the game!”

“It’s not Andrew’s turn. Plus, he’s been playing it since he got home an hour ago!”

“Hey, what’s the rule? What’s the rule?!”, Steve repeats as the boy’s whine. 

“If we can’t share, it becomes yours.”, they respond in unison. 

“Good. Now, where is Bobby?”

“He’s lying in bed with mom. She was here when we got home and Grandma dropped him off earlier.”, Junior shrugged as he focused his eyes back to the TV. 

“Ok, I’ll be right back. You guys are packed, right? Aunt Robin should be here soon.”

He waves his hand at them as they nod, climbing the stairs to find you. When he opens your bedroom door, he finds his youngest fast asleep on his side in front of you. You were asleep as well but you were gently groaning as your nose scrunched occasionally in pain. 

When Steve lifted the covers to grab his son to let you rest, he noticed you had laid a towel under your hips. He softly caressed your face before lifting Bobby and carrying him down the stairs. 

##############

You stirred a little while later to the sound of your name. 

“What? Huh? Fuck, the boys…?”

“Baby, baby calm down. It’s ok. They’re with Robin. Here, I brought you some pain meds.”

You gladly took them, chugging down the glass of water Steve brought up with him. He sat on the bed, chuckling as you wrapped your body around his back like a snake. “Is it bad again this month?” He sighs when you nod. “Do you think you should—”

“No… no. It’s fine. Nothing too abnormal.”

Since high school Steve knew your periods killed you. They were bad then but as you got older it seemed to knock you on your ass less. After having Junior, though, it steadily got worse again. The months when it had you in bed, wincing, and crying scared him to death. He hated seeing you in pain. 

“Honey, I know you’re scared to talk to the doctor but—”

“Steve! I don’t want to talk about this right now, okay!?”

He exhales again, watching as you try to get out of bed but fail. Steve comes around to your side, carefully lifting you in his arms, and carries you to the bathroom. As you use the toilet you can’t help but laugh at him as he leans against the sink. 

“You don’t have to stand in here with me. I’m not broken.”

He smiles at your tone. “Yeah, but I find any mystery in a marriage to be overrated.”

You giggle at him before completing your needs and standing to scoot towards the sink. Steve places his hand on your lower back mostly to let you know you had support if you felt shaky. 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s just…hormones.”

You grin up at him as he delicately pulls you into a hug, kissing the top of your head. “Y/N, I get it. I know… you’re worried about what she might say when it comes to more kids but… Honey, I just want you to be healthy and happy.”

“I know. One of the reasons I love you.” You lean back to look up at him and he bends slightly to kiss your lips. 

“So, since we can’t go out for date night, I had an idea. I was thinking we could watch a movie and eat in bed.”

“Oh, Steve Harrington. You spoil me.”

He grinned coyly as he lifted you, carrying you back to the bed. 

“What feels more comfortable? Lying on your back or side?”

“Honestly, the medication is kicking in and now that my lower half doesn’t feel like it’s trying to escape through my skin I’d like to sit up, please.”

Steve laughs as he gently places you down on the mattress. You watch with pure admiration as he moves around the room, organizing things on the dresser so the wall behind it was completely clear. He disappeared downstairs, coming back with a box of pizza and bag full of goodies. 

“Will you marry me?”, you sigh happily as you reach into the bag and pull out the candy he knows you crave during this time. 

“I already did! There was a whole ceremony and everything.”, he grins. “I’d gladly do it again though.” He grabs his phone as he climbs on to the bed, focusing his eyes on the screen before him. You smile as you watch his eyebrows furrow together as he concentrates; just like he did in high school when he was working on homework.

“Ok, I think I got it. You want to see something cool?” You nod at his question before he taps at the screen and suddenly The Goonies starts playing on the wall in front of you. Steve chuckles as he watches your eyes light up with amusement. 

“I may or may not have bought a projector and hid it for an occasion such as this.”

You beam over at him as you curl up into his side. His arm wraps around you as his palm comes down to absently rub your back. 

Throughout the movie, you find it hard to keep your eyes in front of you. Every time Steve’s fingers move along your skin, you feel electricity shoot through your body. He takes a drink from his glass and your eyes focus on his Adam’s apple as it bobs within his very kissable throat. Your own hand absent mindedly rubs against his chest, watching it rise and fall slowly as he breathes. 

He had changed into comfortable clothes before waking you up and you could faintly see the outline of cock as the fabric of his shorts rested against him. 

“Whoa, baby.” 

You blinked back to the moment when his other hand reached over to grab your wrist. You hadn’t even realized the palm you had on his chest has gradually glided below his waist. 

“We, uh, you’re going to get me going if you keep doing stuff like that.”, Steve smiled down at you as he placed your hand on his stomach. 

“Can we?” You slid your fingers under his shirt, running them along his skin. 

“Honey, I…you’re in pain—”

“Not as much right now and they say orgasms really help with cramps.” He exhaled a breathy laugh as he licked his lips trying to contain his pleasure at the thought. “I just… I need to feel you desperately for some reason. Well, hormones I imagine but…” You both chuckle as the hand behind your back comes up to run through your hair.

“Okay. I’ve never…we’ve never…”, Steve stuttered, completely unsure of how to proceed. 

“I think we would both be more comfortable in the shower. Less mess to.”

His lips lean over to kiss your forehead. “You know I don’t mind it getting messy.” You giggle as he climbs out of bed and lifts you in his arms again, carrying you towards the bathroom. 

Steve turns on the water, making sure its warm before keeping an eye on you as you disrobe and step in. Even the small actions of watching him stumble around to take off his own clothes was turning you on even more. You weren’t sure if he did it on purpose to make you laugh or he was just that graceful but it was part of what made Steve him and you loved it. 

As soon as he climbed in with you, you immediately clasped your arms around his neck, bringing his lips to yours. You were quick to get him in the shower but as soon as his arms were wrapped around you, you felt like you could stay like this forever. 

His lips chased yours as you kissed down his chest to his stomach, his fingers tangling in your hair behind your head. 

“Baby, babe…”, he whispered as you began to lower your body below his waist. “You don’t have to… trust me. You kissing me like that…I’m fucking hard as a rock.” Steve tilted your head so he could place your lips back on his. “I want to feel you, honey. Can I pick you up?”

When you nod, he tenderly situates your arms back around his neck before reaching down to grip the back of your thighs and lift you, locking them around his waist. You feel him shift between your legs and you drop one of your hands to help guide him into your entrance. 

“Fuck, Steve.”

“Jesus. Hold on to me, baby.” 

After you do as he asks, he begins thrusting into you as his fingers cling to your body. You moaned into his ear as you felt the tip of his cock hit that sensitive spot inside of you repeatedly, setting your skin a blaze. 

“That feels so good. Oh my god.” 

Steve grunts into your neck as his mouth trace along the side. You lightly tug on his hair, placing his forehead on yours, your pussy fluttering around him as his pants hit your lips. 

“Harder, Steve. Please.”

He holds you tightly as he drops one your legs from around him and pushes your back against the tile.

You whimper as he pumps into you vigorously, your eyes leaving his face to lustfully scan down his body as your palm slides down his hairy chest and back up to his neck. Steve’s eyes meet yours with a small smile. 

“I love—mmm—when you touch me like that.”

“You’re so fucking handsome. I can’t help it.” He chuckles as he kisses your lips. “Make me cum, baby. Please. I need you to make cum.”, you whisper. 

His head falls to your shoulder as he chases both your highs. 

“F-fuck, yes, Steve. Just like that. Cum with me. Please…” You repeated your last word in his ear over and over until felt the coil in your belly snap as your arms held him tightly to you. His rhythm stuttered and he moaned loudly into your skin as he released his seed inside of you. 

Both of you stayed like that for a while, you relishing in the closeness of the man that you fell in love with. 

“Are you okay?”, he murmured as he lifted his head to look down at you.

“Better than.”

Your answer makes him smile as his grips your hips, slowly pulling out of you. “Let me take care of you, honey.”

You stand there patiently under the warm water allowing him to clean you as he periodically leaves gentle kisses along your skin. 

After he turns off the shower, he holds your hand as he helps you out of the tub and quickly dries you off.

“Okay, babe, do your thing and get dressed. I’ll wait for you out here.”

You giggle at the sight before you as you step out of the bathroom. Steve had thrown on a pair of boxers and was laying haphazardly over the bed with his leg hanging over the side. He was smiling at his phone as he lazily brought a piece of pizza to his mouth. 

“You’re such a dork.”

His grin grows as he gestures for you to come lay with him. As soon as you do, he shows you his phone displaying a picture Robin had sent to him of all three boys watching a movie with her girlfriend. 

“What are they showing them?”

“Killer Clowns from Outer Space.” You both laugh as he wraps his arm around you, bringing your head to his bare chest. “After we finish this, we should watch that.”

“I’m down.” You lean up to kiss his cheek and jokingly turns his head just in time to capture your lips. “How did I get so lucky to have you?”

“Oh, sweetheart. I wouldn’t know. I ask myself that every day about you.”

########

Date Night Series

[silverwolf-108]

TF141 x Fem! Reader

“I’m A Monster!”

Summary: You ran away from your teams after what you done because you had split personality. They got very worried and went off to find you but they didn’t find you. Many months later they finally found you.

Warning: Angst, sad

Codename: Beast

“Captain, What are we gonna do? Back in battle, Beast almost kill Gaz. Don’t know how long we be able to keep this up.”

“Look Soap I know what you mean but-“

“Sir, look, we know she had split personality but just one. Last time she almost kill few of our mens .”

“Plus she getting more brutal than before.”

You sat on the floor by the door of brief room listening your teammates talking. You quietly sob trying not to make a sound. You remember back in the battle you took down all the enemies but you were shot by one of them. That made you trigger because one or more pain wake up the Beast.

When you were a teenager you had just one split personality that appeared out of nowhere in you. Back in high school, couple of bully’s pick on you but the beast came out from its cage and almost kill them. You did everything you can to get the beast out of you to leave you alone but it won’t leave you alone. Your parents are very worried seeing you in bad situations. They did try to help you too but you ran off because you don’t wanna hurt them.

You went to Chicago to find a new home where you be safe so you won’t your parents. But suddenly, a war began. You help a lot of people from the chaos and take them to the military where the soldiers arrived to stop the enemies.

There were too many enemies coming out, so you had no choice but to fight back. You kill many and many enemies that get in your way. After you kill them, the Task Force 141 were shock seeing you so brutal. You were about to run away but the captain said “Wait kid, why not come with us.”

So you made your decision to join with them, you told them a story about your life and your split personality. They were shock hearing your story. So they plan to come up a solution like trying to keep you happy and calm from keeping the beast come out. It was few years ago, so here you, sad.

You wipe the tears stood up and hurry to your room. You grab duffle bag and backpack from the closet quickly put all your clothes in duffle back and stuff items in your backpack. You grab the paper and pencil writing down then slam it on the table and run off.

You found the truck outside throw your duffle and backpack in the backseat and went into the driver seat. You start the engine and drove off. You didn’t look back at the base but keep on driving and make a new life.

“Y/n, are you there?” Soap knock on your door. No answer. He grab the handle turn it and open it wipe only to meet empty room. The groups walk in and see all your clothes and stuff are gone. “Hey guys! I found a note!” Gaz called out. They gather around taking a closer look at the paper.

‘Dear friends,

I decided to run off after what I heard in the brief room. I know what I told you about my condition since few years ago. I can’t stay with you guys anymore after what I done. So I went off to make a new life myself. I’m sorry guys. I won’t be staying with you all forever. If you hate me, don’t find me. Goodbye.

-Sincerely, Y/n L/n’

“Fuck! She heard us!” Gaz shout. “We Must find her. Feel bad about that kid, come let’s find her.” Price order. “Wait! What if… she doesn’t wanna see us?” Soap question.

“Doesn’t matter, she our team, we may be feel bad after what she heard from us but we still need her. She our family. She may had condition of her personality but we help her few years ago. Now come on! Let’s find her!” Price bark.

————————————

10 Months Later

“Thank you! Come again!” You wave at the grocery lady leaving the grocery store and walk home. It has been 10 months that you quit the military and create a new life in New York. You able to calm the beast from coming out and keep it a secret from your neighbors. You did yoga, meditate, and go to the beach to keep yourself calm. And you got a new job that isn’t too far at your house, the book store. You found it peaceful.

You open the front door of your house, you drop the brown bags, your mouth gap open and your eyes wide in shock. “Hello Y/n… how’s it going?”

Four men’s are in your living room and you know who they are and not want to see them again. Gaz sat on couch chair, Ghost and Soap sat on the couch, and last but not least your captain, Price sat on another couch chair.

“W… what are you guys… doing here?” You feel your body froze, you can’t move after seeing your team again. Price stood up from the couch chair walk toward you “We want you back.” You shook your head “No, I’m not going back, I’m staying here. I won’t be staying you guys. So just… leave.”

Price shook his head “Look, what you heard from us back in brief room, we all feel bad after what we said. But we found a solution to help you.” He’s about to place his hand on your shoulder but his hand got slap. He look at you shock and so are his team.

“Just leave me alone! I told you I’m not going back after what I done back in the battle and our team. Just leave me alone! There’s no other way to keep the beast away! I manage to keep the beast in me after I run away and still no other way to get rid of it! I may be a normal girl but I’m a monster! So leave and don’t come back!” You yell.

Your team were about to walk toward you but you pounce on Price. He groan at the impact and see your not yourself but…. Beast. “Y/n! If you can hear me come back! Don’t let the beast get to you!” He bark.

The team try to get beast off of Price but it manage to dodge them and attack them. Ghost try to tackle Beast but it dodge him and pin him on the ground and knock him out. Soap use his dagger and swung it around at Beast but it grab his wrist and twist it causing him scream in pain and drop the dagger. Gaz try to round house kick Beast but it grab his leg and threw him at the wall creating a huge dent.

Price wrap his arms around Beast middle and putting all his strength to keep you secure from breaking free. “Y/n! Listen, come back! We know-” “Let her go!” He look over his shoulder meeting a blonde her women outside the front door, she wore black shirt and grey pants. She huff heavily and her body glimmer reveal sweats from the sunlight.

“Let her go! Let her come at me!” She yell “Who are-” “No time! Do it!” Price let Beast go as it go after the lady. The lady open her arms wide til she feel the impact but she keep her foot on the ground. She took a deep breath and started to sing.

The beast growl and try to break free the lady’s grip but hearing her sing made the beast calm down til it passed out. “Y/n, are you there?” The Beast slowly lift its head, the woman recognized the look in its eyes and smile “Hello Y/n, welcome back.” You smile at her a little then passed out again. The woman carry you bridal style and place you on the couch. She place the blanket on top of you then glare at the men’s. “Now, tell me why you punks are here?”

Price explain about the situation back at their base and try to help you to get the beast out from your body before you left. “Well… there’s no another way. You see, when I spoke to Beast, it tell me it won’t leave her alone, it didn’t tell me why it won’t leave Y/n alone. Me and my assistant did everything we can but there’s nothing.” She explain.

“Oh… but by the way, who are you?” Soap ask “Oh right, I’m Lena Matthew. I’m Y/N’s therapist. I’ve been her therapist for ten months ago. She did appointment on me on every weekend to take the Beast out of her body. I told her to take a place where’s it calm to keep Beast in its cage from coming out.” Lena huff.

“Now then, all of you must leave and never come back. Just leave Y/n alone, she doesn’t want to see you. She told me everything about you four, leave and never come back.” She growl at them.

“But-” “Leave! Now!” She cut off Gaz words. “…Let’s go boys.” They follow Price behind leaving Lena and you alone. Lena walk out the house see them drove off in the truck. She walk back in shut the door close and clean the room to fix the mess. ‘Don’t worry Y/n, I’ll find a way to make you a normal girl so you won’t hurt anybody.’ She thought looking at your unconscious form, she sigh softly and went back to cleaning.

[lilliathshifts]

Oh my god guys, I forgot to give y’all a little life update 😔

I had an ultrasound done on my thyroid about a month ago and they found a lil nodule on my thyroid which isn’t a big deal at all and is completely normal but when one is found, it’s standard to do a biopsy on it to make sure it’s nothing and luckily 99%+ of the time it’s nothing which yippee.

Today I woke up a 4 am to get ready and head to the hospital for my biopsy and I was a little nervous on my way there I went on my local news stations Facebook and found out my moms cousin got 99+ years in prison without parole bc he’s a multi offender and was caught cooking coca cola so that was a fun thing to wake up to. Anyway get to the hospital and the news is going and they mentioned him. He’s a celebrity. Jk.

So I get admitted and I meet my nurse. He was a dope guy and I genuinely thought he was gay but guess he wasn’t. He started my iv and he said my blood flow was incredible 😮‍💨

But there was so much blood everywhere. I wasn’t expecting to see that when I turned my head. He laughed at me and said “sorry didn’t mean to make this look like a murder scene”. Afterwards he was like “you took this way better than a lot of people, for a second I thought you just weren’t feeling any pain but then I saw that you were gripping your feet and you’re face was wide eyed” 😔

ANYWAY he put saline in the iv to “make it pretty and clean it out” LOL but he said that some people can actually smell the saline as they put it in AND I DID IT WAS SO WEIRD. We talked for a bit about our COVID experiences and I talked about how I got it on my 14th birthday and haven’t had my smell since (yippee 😔) and he said he has never met a person who completely lost their smell and never got it back. He left for a bit and came back and said “girl your labs came back in they’re literally perfect, I’ve never seen anyone who had labs this good” so I’m special I guess.

He gave me this calming med (forgot the name) and it made me feel so dizzy and and the room was SPINNING it was weird then I went back into the operation room.

I want to give a trigger warning but I don’t know WHICH one so just be weary I guess

It was awful and I hope I never go through this again. So I got in the room and my nurse was just talking about me and how I had COVID on my birthday and never got my smell back anyway so the biopsy started and the numbing medicine hurt like hell. It felt like someone STABBING my throat over and over and over again then practically the whole time and the person stayed the biopsy and I didn’t feel that but I did feel her pressing on my throat which was weird but the numbing meds were the only thing I could think about. The pain was horrible and I cried the whole time. They were telling me to pace my breathing bc it was really rapid but I couldn’t because it felt like someone was slicing my throat open. Then it was over and I just stared at the ceiling and they thought I was just high but I was actually just traumatized 🫶

the moment I got back into my room I started bawling. I wasn’t in pain but I was a little sore. My mom got my a cookie and my nurse brought me a water. I stayed in the room for about 30-45 minutes just waiting for all the meds to wear off and I was wheeled out to my car. I got Dutch Bros caramelizar (OMG IT WAS SO GOOD) and my mom got my Whataburger and I got home and watched Supernatural with my mom before going to sleep bc I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night.

I just woke up from my name to Kallmekris and CelinaSpookyBoo playing and thought “you know, I should probably tell tumble about my day” and so I am. Also after all this today, they LITERALLY slapped a bandaid over my neck 😭

Anyway peace out dawgs

[rylekayner]

pls tell me more abt jets punk au 👂👁️👁️👂

Wooo yes let’s go.

Ok so i’ve got a bunch of vague unconnected thoughts hence why I’ve been making my little drawing series instead of an actual fic so this is going to be very disjointed. I don’t know how long this may end up being so I’ll put it all bellow the cut :))

Mark and Connor meet at work, Mark is a tattoo apprentice and Connor is a piercer. Initially there’s a lot of tension between them, they’re opposite sides of the same coin.

Connor is an agitator and Mark’s uptight.

Half of Mark’s personality is that he’s completely straight edge and Connor used to sell drugs in high school.

Connor is a crowd killer, Mark is Mr pit etiquette.

It comes to a head when they both end up at a house show, Connor elbows Mark right in the face (genuinely by accident but to this day Mark doesn’t full believe him) and Adam drags them out side and tells them they need to get their shit together and either fuck or fight but just get it over with. Given Connor’s reputation Mark assumes he’s about to have to start throwing punches when he’s grabbed by his collar until he realised he’s being pulled in for a kiss.

They end up actually talking things out a realise they actually do a good job of rounding out each others harsher edges. Connor aggressiveness, and Marks elitist tendencies.

They still fight even 4 years into their relationship but they understand each other now much better than pretty much anyone else.

-

The band starts with Mark on guitar and vocals, Connor on drums with back up vocals and Troubs on bass. They end up adding Josh as lead guitar after his old band breaks up (not sure of the details with this one but I want Draisaitl in there somewhere cause I like the history between Jmo and Drai).

Troubs ends up leaving the band when he gets a “real job” in New York but he introduces the rest of the guys of Kyle as their new bassist.

Kyle would never admit it but he was terrified of Helle for the first couple of months, Connor has been in Winnipeg for years at this point but his reputation from the Michigan scene still haunts him and Kyle and heard stories. It’s almost hard to reconcile this version of Connor as the same one who’d allegedly set someone backyard on fire back in Michigan.

They end up bonding over making fun of Mark and Connor’s happy to have someone to smoke with again. Mark is still straight edge just less pretentious about it and Josh will do edibles but doesn’t like smoking so it’s been a while since Connor’s hand someone who will physically smoke with him. Once Kyle gets over his fear he has a little bit of hero worship going on which makes it very easy for Connor to convince him to get up to mischief.

This is going to end with mark/Connor/Kyle if I can help it.

-

Josh is a musical prodigy, he was in a metal band previously and has a crazy amount of skill with a guitar, mark thought he was being replaced when Troubs suggested recruiting him until Josh opened his mouth and they heard his excuse for singing (even for a punk band it was shocking) but he’s got a natural inclination to music in a way none of the other quite do. Together with Connor they write a majority of the bands songs.

He had a messy break up with Drai which caused his last band to fall apart and after that he mostly just focused on music and collage (he’s getting a masters in anthropology, they all thought it was a joke when he told them) but then there’s this new bouncer at Adams bar (Adam owns a dive bar sorry this is all very disjointed) and Josh is enamoured. Spoiler alert it’s Morgan who is not at all involved in the punk scene, he’s just new to Winnipeg and needed a job and now he’s at all of the gigs the play at Adam’s and Josh won’t talk to him because “he barely looks old enough to be in here”

Uhhh I think that’s it for the moment I’m on a lot of pain meds but if you wanna know anythjng in particular please ask I’m so excited to talk about this au the more I talk about it the easier it is for me when I eventually do write it

TL;DR

Mark: Straight Edge, Sings and Plays guitar, in a long term relationship with Helle

Connor: Shit stirer, plays drums, sometimes sings, writes a lot of the songs, in a long term relationship with Mark

Kyle: Newest member of the band, plays bass primarily but can play several other instruments, has something suspiciously flirty going on with Helle and Scheif

Josh: the most traditionally talented, plays guitar, is not allowed to sing under any circumstances, helps Helle with writing, had a nasty break up with Drai a few years back is now busy making heart eyes a Bear.

Morgan: Not really involved in the scene, just works as a bouncer for a lot of the gigs the boys play. Spends a lot of time day dreaming about Josh serenading him (only because he’s never hear josh sing)

[winderlylandchime]

I am so so sorry for the fact that I am sending a second (long) message right after the 201 report BUT i had to share this as well. So after he had a meltdown over 122, he called our mom to tell her and I quote ‘something horrible happened’ and obviously she panicked bc like I said he had a surgery and it was a pretty serious one. And when she asked the usual mom questions aka ‘are you okay? Is your sister okay? Is it your recovery?’ And when he replied with the level of enthusiasm one would have for eating garbage, she went ‘THEN WHAT HAPPENED?!’ And he said to her ‘so theres this guy Brian..’ and then told her the PLOT OF THE SHOW and finale which was his breaking point few hours ago if you remember. And then the exchange between them happened that I sent earlier (we watched 201 literally after their call) Anyway, we finished the ep and i received a long call from my mom where she got upset with me for upsetting my brother earlier (who keep in mind is in recovery so he’s even more annoying than usual and is also full of pain meds since he has to take several) with a tv show and she made me promise to not do it again or to at least stop him from calling her bc she will not pick up anymore bc and i quote ‘i do not have the time for gays on tv to make my life hard, you clearly have that covered right now with what youre doing to your brother’ and then what followed was a random text from my dad that said ‘your mom waited for me to come home and now she wants me to tell you to stop upsetting your brother with gays while he’s high. He better not come crying to me about this because I am going to have a nap’ …PLEASE take a guess what my brother proceeded to do exactly 2 minutes later?

It was genuinely hilarious. It went a little like this: brother calls dad on speaker from the other room, B: ‘Dad?’ D: ‘oh for fucks sake! No! No! Noooo! I was napping! I dont care anymore, go annoy your mother with this’ B: *loooong silence* ‘…she’s not picking up’ which followed with my dad hanging up on him and me getting a text from my dad that just said ‘i hate both of you’

i fear i may have accidentally started the next best thing in the family.

Dear sweet anon, please do not be sorry. These messages are keeping my crops watered and my hair washed. I am kicking up my legs and giggling.

I am sorry that your brother's watching of QAF is causing so much family drama. Do your mom and dad need to watch it too so they can empathize with your brother's pain?

Your mom saying "i do not have the time for gays on tv to make my life hard" should really be tumblr's motto. None of us have the time Mama Anon yet here we all are.

Also your dad hanging up on your brother is comedy gold. Poor boy (fully grown adult man) is having Feelings and does not know what to do. Tell him there are a bunch of anonymous queer people on the internet who feel his pain and are sending him virtual hugs.

[whats-wild-to-you]

Dr. Daredevil (Jay Park AU)

Chaeyeon

The first time Park Jaebeom and I met was in med school.

I knew exactly who he was, even though I pretended to not care about him. Every girl on campus wanted to date him and every guy wanted to be him.

As the chairman’s only grandson he was bound to inherit his family’s fortune one day. Of course he didn’t have to study or get good grades. Since birth, everything was handed to him on a silver platter.

I, on the other hand, needed to do well. Every day. My life depended on it.

“Have you heard? Park Jaebeom is throwing a party for his birthday.” My best friend, Soojung, casually said while joining me in the cafeteria.

“No. Why would I?”

It was a lie. I knew exactly that Jaebeom’s birthday was approaching.

“I also heard he’s handing out invitations.”

Soojung plopped down next to me, meticulously unwrapping her sandwich.

“Surely he’ll only invite the cool kids.” I countered soberly.

“For once I’d like you to have some confidence!” She said, looking straight at me. I could tell my comment hurt her, even though she knew herself that we weren’t part of the cool crowd. Ever.

“I’m sorry! I hope you get an invitation.”

“I hope we’ll both get one.” She countered back.

I side-eyed her and focused back on my book.

When my last class ended, I gathered my stuff and walked out with quick steps so I wouldn’t miss my bus.

“Chaeyeon, wait! I have something to ask you.” Someone called after me while I ran down the stairs. I didn’t need to turn around to know who the voice belonged to.

The people around me stopped and stared, waiting to see what would happen.

I wonder why Park Jaebeom needs to speak to the biggest nerd on the entire campus?

“My birthday’s this Saturday. Here! I brought you an invitation.”

I cocked my eyebrow at him, trying to figure out if there was a motive behind his weird behavior. Only too late did I noticed that the time had passed and my bus had left without me. Again.

“Great! Now I missed my bus!”

“I’ll drive you home!”

I wanted to decline, but would have to wait another hour for the next bus, so I begrudgingly agreed.

“How’s your paper coming along?”

My paper? Oh! At least now I know why he offered to take me home.

When I remained silent, Jaebeom cleared his throat before speaking again.

“The old man is giving me a hard time, saying I need to do better.”

“He’s not wrong, you know. After all, you’re studying to become a doctor.”

Once more I got the feeling it wasn’t his choice to go to med school. It seemed that he was pressured to go and didn’t really understand the severity of his situation. But I also knew that it didn’t really matter if he studied and did well or not. In the end he would graduate on top of his class. His grandfather would make sure of that.

“So? Are you coming to the party?”

“I don’t know.”

“You need to live a little!” He said when we stopped and locked eyes at a red light.

He sounded like my mother which made me chuckle.

“We’ll see!”

We remained silent until Jaebeom stopped in front of my apartment building where I was renting a tiny one-room apartment.

“The party starts at 7!”

I smiled faintly and nodded, silently thanking him for the ride.

~

Against my will I had put on a dress and high heels and makeup, feeling more uncomfortable than on my first day in college.

“Smile! You look like you’re in actual pain!” Soojung sneered next to me as we walked up the driveway of Jaebeom’s huge mansion.

“I am!” I blurted out, giving my friend the side eye. “Remember our agreement! No alcohol and we’re only staying for an hour.”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it, mother.” She mocked back, rolling her eyes.

As soon as I entered, I wanted to turn around on the spot and leave. The music was too loud, people were already too drunk and I felt like I was suffocating. Random people were handing me questionable drinks in red solo cups which I firmly rejected.

I found an empty spot in a corner and stood there, leaning back against the wall, checking my watch every five minutes. Soojung had already disappeared in the masses, only her loud squeals could be heard and from time to time I would spot her small frame amidst the people, dancing.

The air in the room changed when Park Jaebeom joined the crowd. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on me. He grinned as he made his way to where I was plastered against the wall. A literal wallflower. Frantically, I looked for an escape route but I had successfully trapped myself.

“Nice to see you made it!”

I snorted, raising an eyebrow, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Let’s go somewhere quieter. I have something to ask you.” He said, casually grabbing my arm, leading me through the crowd. My head whipped around constantly trying to see if anyone paid attention to us. But people were too preoccupied and too drunk to care.

On the staircase, leading up to the bedrooms, I put my heels down making Jaebeom stop abruptly.

“It’s quiet enough here. What do you have to say?”

Despite trying my best to sound cool and unaffected, Jaebeom realized he was having an effect on me. Smiling mischievously, he inched closer, casually leaning against the wall behind me, trapping me between it and his body.

“I heard you’re the smartest student in our class.”

“You heard right!” I replied cockily. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m sure you heard that there’s going to be a group project soon. I think we should be in a team, you and I.”

I snorted lightly. The chairman’s grandson was a sly fox. Of course he wouldn’t actually sit his ass down and study. I wondered if his grandfather knew about it.

“It seems like only you would benefit from such a deal.”

“That’s not true.” He said. “Your popularity would skyrocket.”

“I’m not sure I want that.” I replied again, still unwilling to look at him. The smell of his perfume was intoxicating, confusing my senses momentarily, clouding my judgment.

“Think about it, it could actually be fun. Oh, and if you still need an incentive, I would even be willing to pay.”

At that I raised my head. Did he just offer me money because he didn’t know how else to persuade me or was he actually aware of my financial situation?

My parents back home worked themselves to the bone, so her only daughter could study medicine in Seoul. Of course money was tight.

“I’ll think about it.” I eventually said, just to get him off my back. He was standing dangerously close to me, constantly licking his lips, his eyes piercing through mine.

Suddenly I felt incredibly hot and in a desperate attempt to escape his piercing glare, I slipped under his arm and sprinted outside. The fresh air was a welcoming change and I fished out my phone from my purse, calling Soojung with trembling hands.

“I wanna go!”

“But it hasn’t been an hour yet!” She yelled into her phone.

“Then I’m leaving by myself.” I had no intentions to stay and run into Jaebeom again. And the likelihood of that happening was big.

“Fine. Give me a minute. I’ll be out soon.”

I kept the fact that I worked with Jaebeom a secret. Especially since Soojung had become obsessed with him after being at his party. In the end it was just his name I would put next to mine when I submitted the paper. No big deal.

The two of us would meet after school at his house. There would be snacks and fruits on the table and classical music would play in the background.

At first I thought it was funny, thinking Jaebeom did all of that to impress me. But as I visited his house more often I realized that others were setting the mood. In the end I pitied him. Clearly he felt uncomfortable but had to play his part, whether he liked it or not.

“Urgh, my brain hurts! I need a break.” He announced dramatically, shutting the books in front of him.

I wanted to correct him by saying that the brain can’t feel pain but let him be. Instead I followed him upstairs because I felt uncomfortable being left alone in this huge mansion.

Too late I realized he was heading straight into his bedroom. And likewise, he only noticed I had been following him when he closed the door.

“I’m sorry, I-” I muttered but the words got stuck in my throat.

“It’s okay.”

Nervously, I checked the time on my phone, my brain working in overtime to come up with an excuse to leave.

“No, you’re right. We studied nonstop for hours. I think it’s enough for today. I better go now.”

Before I could get to the door, he sneaked off behind me, blocking the exit.

“Chaeyeon, the brain can’t feel pain. I thought you knew that! After all, you’re supposed to be the smart one in this room.”

I chuckled, realizing that I walked right into Jaebeom’s trap. He smiled before he peeled his back off the door, taking a step in my direction. Then another. And another.

“You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” The question took me by surprise, and for a second I debated on how to answer it wisely. But then I remembered who I was talking to.

“Did you ever have a boyfriend?” He asked again, this time in a high pitched tone.

“Don’t be ridiculous! I’m 23. Not a teen.”

“So, no then.”

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again. I had no words, no good comeback. And Jaebeom knew that. Smirking, he took another step forward, our noses almost touching. That’s how close he was.

“Don’t be too startled.” He cautioned, before his head dipped down and his soft lips connected with mine.

The kiss was exhilarating. Every fiber of my body was activated by Jaebeom’s lips exploring mine. His hands casually rested on either side of my waist. I heard my quickened pulse in my ears. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Smelled his perfume as well as some fabric softener on him.

I was aware of every little detail, felt more alive than ever, yet at the same time it felt like a dream. Like somebody else had possessed my body.

Seconds felt like hours, and when he finally broke the kiss, Jaebeom looked at me intently. I didn’t move, didn’t flinch. He then smiled lightly and nodded.

“I think you’re right. We can work on the rest next time.”

Like a gentleman, he walked me out and even waited with me for my taxi to arrive.

That day I went home with mixed feelings. I didn’t want to be the stupid, gullible and easily impressed inexperienced girl but couldn’t help getting ideas in my head. The only thing I knew for sure was that I needed to keep this a secret. No one could find out about our kiss. Especially not Soojung.

My imaginary bubble would soon burst anyway. After the group project ended Jaebeom hardly ever talked or even looked at me. It was as if I never existed. I had expected such behavior, the only thing I regretted was wasting my first kiss on him.

-> next chapter

[adri-2022]

Tiny Freckles

Fandom: Chicago PD

Characters: Jay Halstead x FemReader

Warning: none

Word count: 2522

Jay Halstead Materlist

A/N: Hi guys this is my first time ever writing a fic, so if you have some advise for me leave it in the comments. Also, english is my second langueage, I'm sorry if there are grammar errors.

Don't be afraid to leave a comment!

-------------

It was nearly midnight and while the streets of Chicago were empty, there was a sense of urgency. It wasn't to long ago that your contractions started, if you were being honest, you've been feeling them all day, but you couldn't tell your husband because- yeah it would happen back then what is happening right now. Jay drove frantically towards Chicago Med, obviously being careful not to crash the car with his very pregnant, very much in labor wife. Just when his thoughts were driving to another world, he was pulled out by his high school sweetheart and wife Y/N grabbing his hand in a tight grip as another contraction hit.

“Oh my god they weren’t joking about the pain, I already know he’s going to be a force to be wrecked with”. You scrunched your eyes shut as if that would help the pain disappear. And boy were you feeling every bit of pain, and did you regret that time you laughed with Hailey -your husband work partner- saying they couldn’t be that bad, well yeah you were regretting a lot of things including that because damn they were worse. Jay watched silently glancing back and forth between the love of his life and future mother of his child and the street. Trying not to have and accident because then you would kick his ass.

“You alright honey? Got a hard grip there, can I have my hand back?” Jay tried to ease the tension and maybe make you laugh but you were having none of it.

“Oh- so- so you think your funny now I’m just peachy not like I’m going to give birth or anything” You appreciated him trying to keep your mind of off the pain. He just nodded his head and continued driving while you still had his hand in yours, his tracing patterns in your knuckles with his thumb and giving you that look- God -that look of just love and compassion.

Not long after that you were pulling up to the parking lot at the hospital. Jay didn’t wait a second to jump out of the truck feeling exited but scared at the same time, although he couldn’t show that to you because this time it was about you and keeping you calm so there wouldn’t be any complications. He wouldn’t risk this, not for all the money in the world this moment right here this was topping his top 3 favorite moments. First being the time, being when he met you back in the ninth grade, you guys were just kids, but he knew- right then and there that he some day would marry you. The second favorite the first time he saw you walking down the aisle not believing for a second that you really were going to marry him, because in his words -he was not enough for the most amazing woman he’s ever met- of course you thought that was bullshit. And the third, well you guys were going through it now and he couldn’t have asked for a better life partner and mother of this child and the future ones.

He helped you get out of the truck swinging the bags on his shoulders then started walking by himself leaving you there with your mouth hanging open -was he not going to help you or what-.

“Ahm- excuse me dear husband of mine, aren’t you gonna wait for me? I can’t walk like you. I’m, 9 months pregnant and about to give birth”. Your sassed because guess what? He was walking like he was on a Black Friday sale, and he wanted to get the biggest TV that he could get his hands on -it almost gave you flashbacks, yeah you weren’t going to another one of those with him. Never. Ever again- when he heard your voice he turned around with an innocent smile.

“I’m sorry honey, I’m really nervous, I love you though” “You’re something else you know that right?” “Yeah, I know” both of you chuckling while walking to the entrance of the hospital. Stepping through the door you recognized a really tall redhead, yeah that’s your brother. Well not really, he’s your brother-in-law, Jay’s older brother.

“Jay? Y/N? What’s wrong?!” Yeah, both Halstead brothers were panicking great.

“Her water broke” “My water broke” both Jay and you answered. While Jay had you tucked by the waist in order to give some support. With that being said Will helped you taking you free hand and helping you from your other side guiding you to the maternity ward. Giggles could be heard in the hallways from the three of you, Will trying to calm Jay anxious state and you laughing when you got a break from the contractions. You loved them a lot, they were the only family you had left, your parents died a while after Jay left for the rangers and you were an only child so the Halstead and your Chicago family -Med, PD and CFD- were all you needed.

Hours had past and there you were on your side having a mini meltdown over the pain and pretty much regretting not having your mom here. Trudy had been called, she was the closest thing to a mother figure ever since Jay started working as a patrol officer and then in Intelligence, but apparently today everyone in Chicago was on the streets for some kind of parade and not even the sirens were helping your chosen family to get to Med faster. And there was Jay at the side of your bed keeping a close eye on you the whole time caressing your hair and kissing you nose, lips and baby bump, also trying to get your baby to chill about the pain which made you laugh a bit.

“Breath baby, breath I’m right here. Squeeze my hand, there you go” he whispered in such a sweet voice while pulling a piece of hair out of your eyes -Jay loved your eyes he always said they were his safe place- and in other circumstances you would blush like crazy but now you just wanted nothing more than to punch his beautiful face.

“I don’t think I can do this, I’m so tired Jay” panting and out of breath while Jay rubbed your back in a calming manner.

“Yes, you can, you can. You wanna know why?” he asked kissing your forehead and rubbing his nose with yours and giving your hand a squeeze. “Why?” your voice almost cracking.

He looked at you with such love and compassion in those green eyes that made you fall in love every day. And just above a whisper “Because you are the bravest woman I’ve ever met, you Y/N Halstead are my favorite piece of art, and you inspire me every day. You are fearless, compassionate and I can’t wait for our kid to be just like he’s momma”

You looked into his eyes, with tears of love in yours and wanting nothing more than to kiss him but guess that won’t happen as another of your dear friends hit you like a fucking bus. “OH. MY. GOD, I’m going to kill you” you screamed in his face. “What- why me?” he asked with wide eyes staring back at you with a panicked expression, like he didn’t know what he did, oh, but he did know.

“This is your fault, it’s your fault I’m in pain and having to deliver a whole human being through a very tiny hole in my body. I’m never letting you get me pregnant ever again. Mark. My. Words.” Screaming and crying at the same time getting emotional by his words and frustrated by the pain. Because it was known that Jay Halstead is a very feared detective, a very badass on top of that. But man was he a big teddy bear when it came to you.

“Baby I’m pretty sure it takes two to dance the devils dance- just saying- no- ok I’ll shut up” Jay said raising his hands in surrender. He didn’t know what to do, you were in pain and didn’t want drugs for it, it was exasperating. As another contraction hit, you started screaming and squeezing Jay’s hand while he looked like a deer in headlights screaming back at you. You were pretty sure if someone walked through the door of the room, they would think you were both crazy, and that was not to far from the truth. Just as you thought of that you OBGYN walked through the door and looked at the both of you before saying her welcoming speech that you didn’t want to hear, you wanted this baby out now.

“Okay Y/N it’s time to meet your baby boy, what do you say, ready?” Dr. Montgomery asked giving you a sweet smile getting her team inside the room while you frantically shook your head looking at Jay with a panicked expression. “No, no, no I can’t”.

“Yes, you can. Hey baby look at me” Jay said. But you didn’t listen you were all in your mind thinking about all the what ifs. While you were panicking Dr. Montgomery gave Jay an encouraging look, and he called your name again successfully pulling you out of your thoughts. Oh man that voice, you would know who it was with your eyes closed in the middle of the night.

“Sunshine- look at me baby come on” this time you listened opening your eyes meeting his, which held so many emotions in them. Leaning in towards you, he connected your lips pouring every emotion into it. God, he really knew you inside and out I mean how could he not you’ve known each other since you were 15 years old. He would be a shit husband if he didn’t. Leaning his forehead with yours both of your eyes closed.

“You’re going to be such an amazing mom to our son, I just know it, you and me?” “Always” you finished. Now that your eyes were open you could see the corner of his lips turning up slightly giving you an encouraging smile. Just then the door opened again, and Trudy entered the room giving both of you an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry I’m late traffic was a bitch- Chuckles, Sunshine” she said to both of you before continuing “I’m right here, momma is right here” Trudy said picking up the hand that was free at the moment. “Let’s do this” both Jay and Trudy said averting their gaze to the doctor who was ready to start delivering baby Halstead giving her a simple nod.

After giving birth to your beautiful baby boy, everyone from Med, PD and CFD had come to congratulate you both making jokes, and everyone amazed by your baby and gone back to their shifts. The only thing that could be heard would be the soft snores of a beautiful woman who had just concurred the world or at least in Jay’s eyes as he looked at your sleeping figure and smiling lightly at the baby in his arms caressing his little cheeks. He was feeling so much at the same time fear, joy, excitement, love and proudness. As of 3 hours ago he was having his hand tortured by you, 1 hour ago he was cutting the baby’s umbilical cord with Trudy guiding him on the task. And now- now he was holding the most beautiful creation in his arms and making a solemn oath to protect and love this tiny human with everything he had. God, would he burn the world to ashes if Noah asked him to. Yeah, his name was Noah Alvin Halstead and yes Trudy, Hank and everyone who got to meet Alvin Olinski shed a tear. Jay leaned forward giving Noah a kiss on the forehead.

“You don’t know how much I’ve waited to have you in my arms, you don’t have any idea how you have changed my life. You and your momma are the best things that could’ve happen to me and I'm proud to be your dad. God please don’t grow up, stay this way. I really don’t want you to leave for collage just yet.” “Damn that was cheesy” Jay’s and Noah’s moment was interrupted by another voice and when Jay looked to the door, he couldn’t help but smile bigger than before.

“Mouse hey!” “Hey man” Greg "mouse" Gerwitz Jay’s best friend from the rangers who was supposed to be in Afghanistan right now. What Jay didn’t know is that when you started getting contractions you called Mouse and he got in the first plane back home to meet his nephew. Mouse walked silently to where Jay was stood with Noah, men he tried getting there before you fell asleep but it was a long trip so he didn’t make it in time for you, but he was here, and you would be happy when you woke up.

“I tried to get here before she fell asleep but guess what, I don’t have a car with police sirens and all that shit” mouse said sarcastically while giving his finger to Noah who wrapped his fingers around it making Mouse’s heart melt. “Shh hey, not cursing in front of my son, you owe $20” Jay said chuckling along with Mouse. Yeah, you and Jay had to install this the minute the intelligence unit walked through the door because Kevin and Adam don’t have any type of filter in them. The more Mouse looked at Noah the more he felt proud of his best friend who had overcome a lot from being in the rangers with him, to his ptsd, being a detective in Chicago’s most elite unit and everything in between Jay managed to come through with you by his side.

“I’m proud of you Jay, and I know your mom would be proud too and don’t have a doubt about it” Mouse had met Jay’s mom over a video call back when they first enlisted, such a beautiful and sweet woman. Jay looked at Mouse, would she be proud? He didn’t know but something he was sure of was that she was watching over him, Will, you and Noah- and maybe Mouse's dumbass-. He then turned to look at his son who was in Mouse arms, Jay had passed him just moments before he made the comment, like everyone had said already, Noah was a carbon copy of his dad even his tiny freckles. How could he deserve all of this after everything he’s done and gone through, Jay will always be afraid that some day he’ll wake up and everything would be gone. But looking over at your sleeping figure he knew right then and there that he would live every day and every night enjoying and praying that you and Noah would never disappear. As if reading his thought,

“It’s not a dream man, its your wonderful reality dumbass” mouse said grinning at his best friend. “What did I say about the curse words Mouse? Y/N will kill me if Noah learns any of that shit” Jay said before both of them busted out laughing.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of Med: Season 4 and Seasons of PD: Season 6: Of Loss and Letters (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

As always, I do not own any quotes from Chicago Med 4x02.

Y/N's age: 17

Jay's age: 31

Will's age: 33

You sat in your English 11 class and wrote and wrote an essay for your test. Your hand was starting to cramp. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone's phone light up from the phone caddy.

Yes, that's right. Your high school now had a phone caddy where students had to put their phones every class. Each student was assigned a number and then that's where they put their phone during that hour. Some teachers didn't care and let you keep it on you, but some did.

Your phone lit up again. You so desperately wanted to look at your watch that was connected to your phone, but you knew that doing so would look like you were cheating, so you decided against it. And, you turned your attention back to your test.

It lit up again and this time your teacher had had enough and stood up to grab your phone.

"Sorry to interrupt your tests," she started, "but how many times do I have to tell you guys to put your phones away with the screen facing the whiteboard. That way it's not dis--" She sucked in a breath as a text came across your screen. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one word: hospital. And, this caused her to read the text. "Y/N, please come with me."

You stood up, utterly confused, and then left the room.

"Firstly, let me say I didn't try to read your texts. I just saw it out of the corner of my eye and...it's important."

You believed this teacher. She was young, pretty fresh out of college, and one time when you came in for a review session, she made all of you guys brownies to snack on while you worked.

She handed you your phone. It was a text from Jay.

Dad's in the hospital.

Your breath caught in your throat. Was it something with his heart? Had he started drinking again?

"Can I--"

"You can go, Y/N. I'll call the office and have someone bring your books down there after class so you can pick them up there when you come to school later. Drive safe."

"Thank you."

You practically sprinted down the hallway and to your locker as another text came in from Jay.

If you don't answer in the next ten minutes, I'm calling school to get you out.

You finished shoving stuff into your backpack and then started on your way to the office. You went to sign out when one of the secretaries stopped you.

"I've got it, hun. You just take care of yourself." Your teacher must've called down.

"Thank you," you choked out and then left the building, dialing Jay's number as you walked.

"Jay!" you exclaimed when he picked up on the first ring. "What happened to Dad? I was taking a test and then my phone started blowing up. Is he okay?"

"Y/N, there was a fire at his apartment. He's in the ED at Med. Will will fill you in more when you get here." You could tell by the tone of his voice that it wasn't good.

"Jay, you can't just tell me that! There's gotta be more!"

"Y/N, you're about to drive. You'll be at Med in twenty minutes. I don't need you to get in a car accident. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"Please." You got in your car and then turned your phone on speaker and started your car. "Can you tell me stories on my way there?" you asked Jay. "I need something else to focus on."

"Focus on the road."

"I mean listen to. I need something else to listen to."

"What kind of stories?" he asked.

"Can you tell me how Mom and Dad met?"

"You know how they met: it was at a White Sox game. Dad saw Mom stand up to buy some popcorn and said he fell in love with her at first sight. He must not have been a pain in the ass then. And, his favorite pastime probably wasn't yelling at people like it is now. Probably smiled more, too."

"Technically, he doesn't yell at me," you said. "Except when he was drunk before you started taking care of me and he finished the twelve steps."

"Oh, right. I forgot. I'm his favorite person to yell at," Jay said sarcastically. "He wasn't always an ass, though. He was actually excited to have a daughter at first. And then, his asshole buddies in construction changed his mind and made him think that women weren't his equals."

"Dicks," you muttered. "What did you and Will do when you found out that Mom was going to have me? Were you mad you weren't going to be the youngest anymore?"

"Nah, I was happy I'd have someone to pick on like Will picked on me."

"Hey!"

"Obviously I didn't follow through with that line of reasoning," he laughed. "Mom was telling us how we'd have to play tea parties with you and all that girly stuff. Me and Will obviously weren't too thrilled about that."

"Well, you're lucky I'm not a girly-girl then and didn't really play tea parties."

"That's because I taught you how to kick a soccer ball the minute you could walk. Shocked you didn't play that in middle school and now in high school," he added.

"I'm not competitive enough for that."

"Oh, believe me, we know. That's why you didn't play goalie: because one game you were goalie, you just sat down in the goal and started playing with the grass."

"Goalie was boring. And, you don't get a break; you don't get to sub-in. My favorite part of kiddie soccer was the snacks and juice boxes at the end."

"Don't forget those few times you scored goals during the games," Jay pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess that part was kinda fun."

"See? You had fun."

"Not really. But, I'm pulling into Med now. I'll gonna park and then I'll be in the ED."

"Okay, make sure you remember where you parked."

"Don't worry, I will."

You parked and then made your way into the ED waiting room.

"Miss, I'm going to need you to take a seat and wait to be seen," a nurse you didn't recognize said.

"Oh, no," you started. "I'm not hurt. It's my dad. He was in the fire and my brother called." You looked down at your feet, finally realizing the gravity of the situation. "My brother called and said he's in the ED. Um, one of my brothers is Dr. Will Halstead."

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Go right on in." She gave you a sympathetic look.

"Thank you."

You hustled into the ED and looked for Maggie or one of your brothers. You spotted Maggie first.

"Maggie where's--"

"Your dad's in Treatment One." She pointed you in the direction of the room and you made your way over there.

You entered the room at the same time as Dr. Rhodes. "You guys wanna fill her in?"

"What's going on?" you asked, worry evident in your voice.

Your dad started coughing and spit some bile into a bin, causing you to wrinkle your nose in disgust.

"Dad tried to play hero," Jay started to explain, "He forgot he was in his 60s with a bum ticker."

"Yeah, well, this is your fault to begin with," Pat Halstead said.

"Me?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, you stuck me in that fire trap."

"Please, can you two just not fight for once?" you complained.

"Pop, stop talking," Will urged.

Dr. Rhodes started doing an EKG and then ordered some tests, finally shutting your dad up...and saving you from another argument between Jay and your dad. Then, after he was done, he got called out to consult for Dr. Choi.

"I don't need all this," your dad complained once Dr. Rhodes had left the room.

"Calm down," Jay told him rudely. "You're getting yourself all worked up."

"What do you know? You're no doctor."

"Dad," you said.

"You had no right to sell my house!"

"You wanna talk about this again?" Jay practically yelled. "It was a wreck. You couldn't take care of the place."

"You just wanted my money!"

"Hey!" Will yelled, but it didn't stop the two...nothing ever did.

"You don't have any money you thankless old prick!" Jay yelled and then started to walk out.

"Jay!" Will yelled as you started to follow him out, hoping to calm him down. "Y/N, stay here," Will told you.

"Why?"

"I know you're gonna try to calm him down, but he needs to cool off by himself right now."

You huffed. "Fine." You turned back to your dad. "I don't think he really meant it. He was mad. Both of you say things you don't mean when you're angry. You two are a lot alike that way. Like when you said he wasn't a son of yours."

"Yeah, you should apologize for that one," Will agreed.

"Not until he apologizes for what he just said to me. Only then will I--"

Alarms started sounding and lights starting flashing. Will hit a button on the wall and two nurses rushed in.

"Will, what's happening?" you screamed. "What's happening to Dad?"

Will lowered the bed and then put his fingers to your dad's neck. "No pulse. Bag him."

"Wait, he's your dad," a nurse, who you recognized as Monique, said. "Shouldn't another doctor run the code?"

"You got one handy?" Will asked as he started chest compressions.

"Will, what's happening?" Jay asked as he re-entered the room.

"Jay, I need you to take Y/N out of here. Now."

"No, I wanna stay. What's going on?"

"Jay, now," Will stated again.

Jay placed on hand on your back. "Y/N, c'mon."

The alarms were still sounding, the lights still flashing.

"No!" you yelled.

"Y/N, I need room in here," Will told you. "The best thing you can do for Dad is to leave this room."

"No! I wanna stay!" you yelled again.

Jay looked at Will and he nodded. Then, you felt yourself being lifted off the ground by Jay.

"Put me down! Put me down!" You started kicking and swinging your arms, but he didn't budge. "Let me go back in there!"

Once safely out of the room--and having drawn the attention of most people in the ED--did Jay finally put you down. You tried to run back towards the treatment room, but Jay scooped you back up.

"Nope. We're going outside," Jay told you.

"Fine. But, once we're out there, I'm not walking with you."

You crossed your arms in frustration. After that little stunt he pulled back there, there was nothing he could say that made you want to be around him.

"That's fine. Just keep your phone on you."

***

As you kept walking down the sidewalk to the right--Jay had went left as soon as you walked outside because you didn't want to be around him--you spotted none other than Kelly Severide sitting on a bench, looking like he was currently throwing himself a pity party.

"Hey," you said as you walked up to him.

"Y/N? what are you doing out here?" he asked as he looked up.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well, have a seat. You look like you've been crying."

"So do you," you pointed out.

"Stella's in the ED," he admitted. "She had a nasty inhalation injury. They uh, they might not be able to save her lung...which means she wouldn't be able to be a firefighter anymore." He looked back down.

"I'm sorry, Kelly. But, Stella's a fighter."

"Yeah, I know. She left home when she was eighteen and she didn't have the best home life before that either."

"She told me."

"She told you?" he asked, looking back up at you.

"Yeah, when she helped me get ready for homecoming, she told me that she gets it. She gets what it's like not having a mom to help you get ready for dances."

"Dude, we have a problem," Will said through the phone to Jay.

"Which is...?" Jay asked.

"Nat got called in. We don't have anyone to help Y/N get ready for the dance."

"Shit," Jay cursed. "Yeah, that really is a problem. Let me make some calls."

Jay hung up the phone with Will and then scrolled through his contacts. He thought about asking Hailey, but he wasn't super close with her yet, so she was off the table.

Then it hit him: Stella.

But he didn't have her number.

But he had Kelly's.

"Please don't be on shift, please don't be on shift," he muttered as the line started ringing.

"Hey, Halstead," Kelly answered.

"Hey, man. Listen, I've got a huge favor to ask you. Well, actually, it's more you asking Stella for the favor."

"What do you want me to ask her? She's right here."

"Well, it's Y/N's homecoming dance tonight and Nat was gonna come over and help her get ready and she got called into work. I was wondering if maybe Stella could come over and help Y/N out."

"Okay, I'll ask her."

He heard mumbling which he guessed was Kelly talking to Stella. "I'm gonna put her on," Kelly said after a minute.

"Okay."

"Hey, Jay," Stella said into Kelly's phone.

"Hey, Stella. Kelly explain everything to you?" Jay asked.

"He did. I'll be over there in an hour. Unless you need me sooner, then I can make it half an hour."

"An hour works great. Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver, really."

***

Jay had left to run to the store and had told you that Stella would be there in an hour. So, when someone knocked on your apartment door twenty minutes later, you were utterly confused.

You got up from the couch and looked through the peephole in your apartment door, seeing none other than frick and frack...otherwise known as Adam and Kevin.

"What are you two doing here?" you asked as you opened the door. "If you're looking for Jay, he went out to run some errands."

"No, we're actually here to see you," Kevin said.

"Me?"

"Yeah," Adam confirmed. "Aren't you supposed to be in a dress or something?"

"I'll put it on after Stella dose my hair," you told them. "Sorry, c'mon in."

The two entered the apartment, but you were still confused as to why they were here, and why they were here for you and not your brother.

"I guess we can teach her like this," Adam said.

"Might be better, too," Kevin started. "That way she won't rip her dress when we're first teaching her."

"Uh, excuse me. Right here, guys. What are you planning on teaching me?" you asked, annoyed that they were talking about you like you weren't even there.

"We are here, little Y/N, to teach you how to fight," Adam answered.

"First of all, don't ever call me little Y/N again. Second of all, no you're not. What's the real reason you're here?"

"That's it," Adam laughed.

You raised an eyebrow, so Kevin decided that he needed to clarify. "It's just for self-defense. Just in case a horny teenage boy comes up to you and starts grinding on you at the dance, so you'll know what to do."

You were still skeptical about this, but they did have a good point. You had to give them that.

"Okay, so what do I do? And, did Jay put you two up to this?" you asked.

"He didn't," Adam answered. "We came of our own free will. First thing you need to know about throwing a punch is doing it with a closed fist." You closed your fist. "Perfect. Now, when you throw the punch, make sure your arm is locked out."

You did as he said and your punch was a little flimsy, but you worked on it.

***

"Is this the right color you think? I tried my best," Jay said as he met Stella in the elevator on their way up to his apartment. He pulled out a sparkly black bottle of nail polish. Stella had asked if your nails were done, and when he said no, she asked if he could pick up some nail polish while she packed up all her hair stuff and makeup to help you get ready. He had reluctantly agreed. By looking at the picture of your dress he had on his phone--it was a two-piece dress where the skirt portion was long enough that it covered your belly. The skirt was white with a floral design and the top was black with sequins--and used that to figure out what color nail polish to pick. Stella told him to keep it simple, so he just picked up a black bottle with some sparkles.

"Perfect!" Stella exclaimed as she looked at the color.

They got off the elevator and then walked to your and Jay's apartment. When Jay opened the door, he was met with one of the weirdest sights he had seen in his life: Adam was rolling around on the floor in what looked to be pain and you were jumping up and down and celebrating and then giving Kevin a high five.

"What happened here?" Jay asked.

"Oh, hey bro," Kevin said.

"Hey, Jay," Adam gritted out from his spot on the floor.

"We were teaching Y/N self-defense in case someone grinds on her at the dance," Kevin supplied. "And, we got to the kneeing part."

"So, she kneed him where the sun don't shine?" Jay laughed.

"Yeah," Kevin confirmed.

"Good job, Y/N. Adam, I'll get you ice and a beer. Kev, you want one?" Kevin nodded and Jay handed the small bag containing the nail polish to Stella.

"So, here's the deal," Stella started. "Natalie got called into work, so you're stuck with me helping you get ready. I've got some nail polish that your brother so generously went out and picked up for you, a straightener, a curling iron, tons of bobby pins and little hair ties, and tons of makeup. Just tell me what you want and we'll get the ball rolling."

You helped Adam up off the ground and then started towards your room, Stella following close behind.

***

"You know, I never had a mom to help me with this kind of stuff either," Stella confessed as she was twisting your hair.

"You didn't?" you asked. "Who helped you?"

"My mom was in and out of my life in high school, so usually one of the nice neighbor ladies helped me with my hair. The makeup was all me."

"So, you know how it is. I feel like it's harder for me than for Will and Jay because they both had Mom for over twenty years. I only had her for nine."

"Well, if you ever wanna talk about girl stuff, I'm your girl. Now, anyone special you wanna dance with? Or are meeting him at the dance?" Stella asked.

"Well, there is someone." You blushed.

"Girl," she dropped your hair. "You can't just leave me hanging like that. Who is it?"

"His name's Caleb. He's really good friends with my friend, Andrea." Stella knew who this was. She knew that you had saved her life during the shooting half a year ago. "He's really cute. Tall, Brown hair. Blue eyes. One of the star players on the football team," you told her wistfully.

"Ooh, you got it bad," Stella laughed.

"I got what bad?"

"Your crush on this Caleb kid. You are crushing on him so hard, Y/N. Can't say I blame you. The popular kid is always the way to go...as long as he's not a douche."

"He's actually not. He's actually really nice."

"Well, does Caleb have a date to the dance?" Stella asked.

You sighed. "He does. Her name's Sasha and she's a total bitch. Excuse my French."

"Well, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: sooner or later, the dude sees his girl's true colors."

"I, uh, I thought about asking him to dance. I remember Jay saying when I was like four and he was going to his senior prom, that if he wasn't dating Allie and a girl asked him to dance, that he'd dance with her because it takes guts to ask someone to dance. But, since Caleb's got a date, that probably won't happen."

"Hey, if he's dancing solo and a slow song comes on, you gotta ask him to dance. Shoot your shot, girl."

"You're right. I'm gonna ask him to dance. I will ask Caleb to dance."

"That's the spirit! Now, we gotta get you looking extra hot so he falls in love with you when he's staring into your eyes while you two are slow dancing the night away."

You laughed and Stella returned to your hair.

***

Later that night, a slow song came on and Sasha was nowhere to be seen with Caleb. But, he was on the dance floor, near the back wall, all by himself. So, you asked him to dance. He said yes, and after, he even gave you a hug. Best dance of your high school career so far.

After you texted Andrea to tell her that you danced with Caleb because you had no idea where she was, the next person you texted was Stella. You knew she'd be hella excited for you.

You crushed on Caleb for a few months after that. But, then he got a new girlfriend and ended up cheating on her with not one, but two different girls. Needless to say, your crush on him died the second you found out this information.

"She loves you, you know," you said to Kelly.

"She told you this?" he asked.

"She didn't have to. Every time Stella sees you, or even when she talks to you, her face lights up."

"She's good for me. That's for sure."

You paused. You knew Kelly didn't have the best relationship with his dad and neither did Jay, Will, or even you. You also knew his dad had died a few months ago, around October and it was currently February. "Did you ever get mad at yourself?" you asked.

"About what?"

"When your dad died. You knew he wasn't the best person, but you were still sad."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I don't understand where you're going with this," Kelly apologized.

"I know my dad wasn't the best person, hell he was neglectful and unfit to be a parent, still is. So, why do me and my brothers still see him? Why do I still feel sad and scared that he might die?" you asked. You knew this was something you should be asking your school counselor--you had started seeing her a lot this past year because of the shooting--but Kelly was here now. And, maybe he'd understand because he didn't have a very good dad either.

"It's because you remember how he used to be," Kelly said. "You, Jay, and Will all remember when he was a better person. When Benny died, I didn't feel like I was grieving current Benny. I was more grieving for the Benny I knew when I was five years old when he was a good dad. And, I never gave up hope that he'd become a better father as I grew up. When he died, I knew it would never happen. You're grieving the dad you used to know and the hope you might lose of him becoming a better man."

You nodded because you really had no idea what to say. You thought Kelly was right; maybe that was the reason why you were sad and fearful about the possibility of your dad dying. You two sat in silence after that, finding comfort in each other's presence, each hoping for the best, but trying to prepare yourself for the worst.

***

You walked into the ED, to be met with Jay storming out and Will quickly following after him. You ran after them.

When they finally stopped, you made your presence known. "Okay, someone wanna tell me what the hell's going on?"

"Dad's brain dead and Will, Will doesn't want a second opinion and just wants to let Dad die," Jay spat.

"A- Are you sure he's brain dead? Maybe you read it wrong?" you asked. There had to have been some kind of mistake. Your dad couldn't be brain dead; he couldn't be a vegetable.

"Y/N, I know this is a lot of information to take in, but the EEG, the thing that reads brain waves, showed that Dad's brain dead. Dr. Abrams read it and he's our top neurosurgeon."

"I still want a second opinion," Jay restated.

"Abrams is our top neurosurgeon, Jay. The opinion doesn't get any better than that," Will told him.

Jay scoffed. "So all your degrees, all that money, all those years in school, this is the best you can do?"

"Jay, Dad almost died two years ago. He's been living on borrowed time."

"Abrams didn't say Dad had no chance!" Jay protested.

"One thousand to one is no chance."

"So you just want to give up?" Jay clenched his fists at his side.

"I've seen a lot of patients in his condition--"

"There goes that doctor voice."

"I'm sorry, but I am a doctor," Will retorted.

Jay scoffed. "Yeah, we got that message. And Dad knew you thought you were better than us. We always came in second. Hell, Y/N came in second because you were away at med school! Who was looking after her when Mom was dying? Me and Dad. Who took her in because Dad's a shitty parent? Me. You weren't there, and now you wanna decide what happens to Dad?" He stepped closer to Will.

Will took a step closer to Jay as well. "You know that's not true, Jay."

"Yes, it is!"

Will opened his mouth and started to say something, but you weren't listening, you were too busy stepping between your brothers because you sensed a fight about to break out.

"Enough!" you yelled. Both Will and Jay looked down at you, shocked at your outburst. "Dad's fucking dying in there and you're fighting about old shit! Don't you see that it doesn't matter? Do you really want to spend your last moments with Dad fighting? Because I sure as hell don't."

Then, you moved away from them and made your way to the bathroom before you started bawling. You really didn't want to do that in front of the other people milling around the hospital.

Jay sighed and put his hands behind his head as he watched you walk off towards the bathroom.

"I never thought I'd say this," Will started, "but she's right. We can't be fighting right now."

"Yeah, I guess we shouldn't be doing that," Jay said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

"Guess me and Dad really are alike. Stubborn and quick to yell things we don't mean."

"I'm pretty sure all of us got the stubborn gene, even Y/N."

Then, The COO of the hospital, who Will introduced as Ms. Garrett walked up to them and told them that they had the full support and all the resources that the hospital had available to help their dad. This didn't seem like her at all, so Will excused himself to go talk to Ms. Goodwin. And, Jay figured this was as good a time as any to see how you were doing, as he hadn't seen you leave the bathroom yet.

***

Jay popped his head into the bathroom and since he only saw one stall in use and saw your shoes in that one, he entered the bathroom and locked the door.

He heard a sniffle. "Short Stack? You okay?" He paused, mentally kicking himself. "Stupid question, of course, you're not okay. I know you're in here," Jay said gently.

"Go away," you said through your tears.

"Y/N, you know I can't do that."

"I just wanna be alone...and for you and Will to stop fighting."

"We made up. Me and Will are fine. Can you please come out?"

You swallowed and frantically wiped your tears away and the snot that ran from your nose. Then, you walked out of the stall and immediately over to Jay and hugged him. "I'm sorry," you mumbled into his brown jacket. "I'm sorry for yelling and swearing. I just wanted you guys- I just wanted you guys to stop."

"I know, I know. Neither of us is mad at you. You had every right to be pissed at us."

"It's just- It's just... nevermind. It's stupid."

"Y/N, it's not stupid. Just tell me. I promise I won't laugh."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he confirmed.

You sighed. "I didn't get as much time with Mom as you two did and now I'm not getting as much time with Dad. You guys had both of them--" You drew in a shaky breath. "You guys had both of them at your high school graduations. I won't have that. I won't have that, Jay."

And that's when you crumbled and you just sobbed into Jay's jacket. When you were nine, you never really comprehended the number of things your mom wouldn't be there for, like your first high school dance, your first date, your first kiss, your high school graduation, your college graduation(s), your wedding, your possibly having a kid and her possibly having grandkids. Granted, your dad wasn't the best dad or even the best man in general, but now you'd have neither parent at any of those things, at any of those milestones.

Jay just held you as you continued to sob about all the things your parents wouldn't be there for, holding you just as your mom would hold him whenever he cried when he was younger.

***

You and Jay sat next to each other by your dad's bedside, the sounds of the vent that was currently keeping him alive were the only sounds that could be heard. Will came in and motioned for Jay to meet him outside the room.

"Be right back." He placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Be right outside," Will promised.

Outside of the room, Will explained that the reason Gwen Garrett wanted to keep your dad alive was that his bypass was 29 days ago. And that she just wants to keep your dad alive for one more day just so the hospital didn't take a hit.

"You think Dad would want this?" Will asked. "To stay alive just to buff some numbers?"

"No, no he wouldn't. But, me and Y/N talked while you tried to figure out what that Garrett lady wanted. Uh, Y/N didn't get as much time as we did with Mom and now she's getting less time than we are with Dad."

"Because she's a lot younger than us. What are you trying to say, Jay?" Will asked.

"I think Y/N should decide. She should decide whether or not we keep Dad on the vent because she had the least amount of time with him. She should get to decide whether or not she gets more time with him."

"Jay, I'm not trying to argue with you, but do you really think that's a good idea? Her decision could cause her a lot of trauma down the road if she ends up thinking she made the wrong choice in the future," Will pointed out.

"We could tell her our opinions and what we want, but tell her that ultimately, she gets to make the final decision. That way, she doesn't feel like it's totally on her," Jay suggested.

"And if she doesn't want to make that big of a decision?"

"We decide between ourselves."

Will sighed. Jay did make a good point. "Fine. But if she feels like shit for months, I'm blaming you."

"Add you to the list of people blaming me for bad shit in their lives."

"Are you lumping me together with criminals you put away?"

"Basically."

Will and Jay re-entered the room. "Why does it feel like he's squeezing my hand?" you asked.

Will sighed. He didn't want to crush your hope of your dad coming back, even though he knew it wouldn't happen, but he also knew that he couldn't give you false hope; he knew he needed to explain this to you.

"Those are just reflexes," Will answered. "I'm sorry, Short Stack, but they don't mean anything."

"They don't? He doesn't know I'm here?" You sniffled.

"He doesn't know," Will confirmed.

You nodded and continued to hold your dad's hand.

"Y/N, we have something to tell you," Jay started. You tore your eyes away from your dad and up to your brothers. "Me and Will decided that you should decide whether we keep Dad on the vent because you got the least amount of time with him."

"You- you guys want me to decide whether Dad lives or dies?" you asked.

Will nodded. "If you don't want to, me and Jay can decide between ourselves, but you can still tell us what you'd prefer. If you want to decide, we can let you do that. Or, if you want our opinions before you decide, that's fine, too."

"What do you guys think? I don't want to decide all by myself," you practically whispered.

And so, they explained to you how Garrett just wanted to keep your dad alive for one more day just to buff some numbers and how they didn't think he'd want to be alive just to do that, just to save the hospital from liability.

You also knew that there were one thousand to one odds against your dad coming back and that those weren't odds at all. He'd need a miracle. And, if there was one thing you knew about your dad, it was that he didn't believe in miracles. He believed in hard work, not miracles.

It was for these reasons that you said what you said next: "Let him go."

***

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber," Will started when you and Jay arrived at your dad's apartment a few days later to go through his stuff. Surprisingly, most of it had been spared during the fire. "You went after the person responsible for the fire, didn't tell anyone, and ended up getting shot."

"You got shot?" you yelled as you walked in.

"Nice going, man. She didn't know," Jay said, annoyed. He turned to you. "It hit the vest. I'm totally fine. I just have some bruising on my chest. Nothing to worry about."

"And you two tell me to be careful," you mumbled. "I should be telling you that."

"It's no use, Y/N," Will said. "I tell him all the time. He just never listens."

"You know you're not a cat, right Jay? You don't have nine lives."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Where are we starting?"

***

Jay looked down at the pictures he was going through. He always thought that his dad didn't make it to his police academy graduation. But, the photo in front of him proved him wrong: there, in his hand, was a picture that his dad took of him on stage, getting his badge pinned to his chest when he had graduated from the police academy with the date written on the back.

He put a hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs and keep you and Will from hearing them. But, he didn't know you were on your way to find him.

"Jay, Will's wondering if you want us to order pizza? You good with--" You stopped talking when you saw Jay sitting on the floor, staring at a photo with silent tears streaming down his face. "What's wrong?" You knelt down next to him.

Jay frantically wiped his tears away using the hand that wasn't holding the photo. "Sorry, yeah, tell Will he can order pizza."

"Jay," you said sternly. "What's wrong? And, don't you dare say nothing. Because you wouldn't let me say nothing, you'd bug me until I told you. So, if you don't tell me, I'm going to keep bugging you about it, just like you'd do to me."

Jay chuckled. "I really screwed myself over by using that parenting tactic, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. Now, what's wrong?"

Jay sighed. The Halstead stubbornness was starting to show more and more now that you had been living with him. And, because of this, Jay knew that you wouldn't let up.

"I always thought Dad never went to my graduation from the academy." He set the picture on the floor between you guys. "But he did."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "You didn't know that?"

"Why would I? Did you know?" he asked, turning to look at you.

"Yeah. He had to leave early because he had to make sure he was home when I got home from school. That's why he couldn't congratulate you after. He never told you?"

"No, he didn't."

"You know the first thing he said to me when I walked inside?" Jay shook his head. "He said: your brother's a Chicago police officer. I'm proud of him. And your mother would be, too."

"He- he said that?" Jay asked, getting choked up once more.

"He did. He might not have said it, but he was so proud of you, Jay. So proud."

***

Will opened a cabinet to grab some paper plates for you three to eat your pizza off of. As he was grabbing them, his hand brushed up against something leaning up against the back wall of the inside of the cabinet. It wasn't one something, but multiple somethings. He furrowed his eyebrows and took out the entire stack of paper plates, causing the multiple somethings to fall to where the paper plates had previously been. Then, he took the mystery things out of the cabinet.

He gasped when he read the first one.

In his hand, he held six letters, two addressed to each of you, one from your mom and one from your dad.

"Will, what's taking so long?" Jay asked as he flipped open the pizza box. "Food's getting cold."

"I think the pizza's gonna have to wait, guys." Instead of grabbing the plates and bringing them to the table, he brought the letters instead.

"Those don't look like plates to me," Jay pointed out.

"Because they're not." He set the pile of letters on the table. "They're letters. Addressed to each of us."

"But, that's Mom's handwriting," Jay said, flabbergasted.

"What do they say?" you asked.

"Only one way to find out," Will said and reached for the two addressed to him.

You and Jay did the same.

You swore you could hear a pin drop as each of you slowly ripped opened the yellowing envelopes. The seals were easy to open because, since they had been sealed for so long, some of the stickiness was gone.

Will first started with the one from his dad.

Dear William,

I know I said a real man goes right to work. And, I know I was mad at you for doing what you wanted to do and becoming a doctor. But, I guess I just have to think of med school as on the job training...that you pay a ton of money for. You will never hear me say this out loud to you because you know as well as I do that I am as stubborn as they come and I hate admitting I was wrong. But, you did good, kid. Both you and Jay did.

I'll keep this short because, if you're reading this, that means I'm gone and I'm assuming you, Jay, and Y/N are busy with the arrangements. But, just know that even though I don't say it a lot, I love you and I'm proud of you, son.

Love, your father,

Pat Halstead.

Will wiped below his eyes. His dad did say he was proud of him when he was out of surgery two years ago. And, Connor had told him everything his dad had said about him before he went under the anesthesia. But, it was nice to have that in writing because it would be there forever.

It was like all three of you had the same idea to open the letter from your dad first. Your logic was that you figured your mom's would make you cry more, so you figured you'd open that last.

Jay fought to keep his eyes dry as he read the letter from his dad. He regretted the last words he had said to him, now more than ever.

Dear Jayson,

I know you think I hated you for going into the military straight out of high school. But, I didn't. I was just scared, scared I was going to lose you. One thing you don't know is that I tell everyone I work with that you're a war veteran. I love bragging about you and telling people about your accomplishments. They always say I should be so proud of you. And, I'm sorry I never tell you that, but I am proud of you, really proud of you. You fought for our country and saved countless lives over there. Just keep saving the innocent, Jay. That's what you seem to do best...and fight against the people who tell you that you can't do it, just like how you fought against me when I told you not to join the military.

I'll keep this short because if you're reading this, that means I'm gone. But, always remember that I am so proud of you and that I love you so much.

Love, your father,

Pat Halstead.

His dad was proud of him. And now he had a reason as to why his dad didn't want him to join the military: he was scared. And, Jay told himself that if he had his own kids, he'd probably do the same thing because he had seen the horrors of battle and he wouldn't want any of his kids to go through that.

Finally, you read yours. And, as you read it, you were crying more than your brothers. You really didn't care, though.

To my daughter,

As I am writing this, you are nine years old and want to be a doctor. I don't know how that will pan out or if you'll change your mind on what you want to do. But, I am here to tell you, don't let anyone or anything stand in your way of what you want to be. Don't let Will stand in your way and don't stand in his shadow if you become a doctor. Strive to be better than him. Compete with each other if you end up going into the medical field; a little friendly competition never hurt anyone. Be smart and keep your brothers in line because Lord knows they're both as stubborn and as reckless as they come.

Love, your father,

Pat Halstead.

So, Jay was right: Dad wasn't always a sexist pig. And, Kelly was right as well: you missed your old Dad, the one who believed you could do anything, not the one who you knew when you were 13 to now, who was drunk, unfit to parent, and sexist as hell.

Then, Will opened the letter from his Mom.

To my first baby, Will,

First of all, let me say that I love you so much, more than you can ever imagine. I know you'll be a great doctor. Just, be smart, and try to be a little less stubborn because I'm assuming you're going to have to work with other doctors. Find it in you to compromise. I don't know what to say in this because me and your dad agreed that you and Jay and Y/N will get these letters when he's passed as well, so I don't know how far into the future you'll be seeing this. So, I figured I'd leave you with some life tips.

Mom's life tips to Will:

1. Never, ever lay your hands on or disrespect a woman. If you do, I will come down from heaven and smite you myself. This goes for Jay, too.

2. Make sure you help your girlfriend or wife with the household chores, like cleaning and cooking. You never leave all it to her. Again, same goes for Jay.

3. I'm sorry to say this, but never grow out a long beard. You have red hair and if you grow out a beard, you'll look like an overgrown leprechaun. Sorry, sweetheart.

Love,

Mom (Amelia Halstead).

PS. In this envelope you will find $500. This is to help you with med school loans, malpractice insurance, or if you're reading this way into the future, to help you with bills, and your own little family.

Will let out a small chuckle as he read the last life tip. And, thankfully, he had never decided to grow out his beard. And now he never would.

Jay looked down at his mom's loopy cursive handwriting and began to read.

To Jay, my second baby,

First of all, I love you more than you can ever imagine. And I am so, so proud of you for choosing to serve your country. I don't know whether you'll decide to stay in or leave the rangers, but I'm sure you'll be amazing at whatever it is you choose to pursue. And Jay, please keep in mind that you only have one life. Don't be crazy and reckless out there. I don't think you will be, but I'm just reminding you because I'm your mom and that's what moms do, they nag you and they worry about you no matter what. And, if you're reading this, that means your dad has passed away as well. Don't take this the wrong way, but please go see a therapist. You've fought in a war and seen terrible things overseas (I know because you once had a nightmare at home. I just didn't tell you that I knew this) and you've lost both of your parents. You should talk to a professional, sweetheart. But, always remember that I will be with you when your nightmares get rough. And, if Y/N wants to follow in your footsteps and go into the military, talk to her about it, but don't fight her on it like Dad did to you. Finally, I will leave you with some life tips.

Mom's life tips for Jay:

1. Never, ever lay your hands on or disrespect a woman. If you do, I will come down from heaven and smite you myself. I already wrote this in Will's letter as well.

2. Make sure you help your girlfriend or wife with the household chores, like cleaning and cooking. You never leave all it to her. Again, this is in Will's letter, too.

3.  I know you want to save everyone, Jay. And, you have a big heart, but you also take things personally. Just know that you can't save everyone and that is okay. Be kind to yourself and think of all the people you did save as opposed to those who you couldn't. It's okay to grieve for them, but don't let your grief last forever.

Love,

Mom (Amelia Halstead).

PS. Also in this envelope is $500. Use it towards therapy. But, if you already made the leap to go to therapy, one I am proud of you, and two, use it for something else. Donate it to veterans in need maybe. Or, use it to help pay off loans if you decided to go to college if you ended up leaving the military. Or, if you're reading this way in the future, use this money to help with bills and your own little family.

Maybe Jay would start therapy again now. He had gone a while ago, but after his meds stabilized his nightmares again, he stopped going. Maybe he'll go again because as he always said, his mom was a smart lady.

You were ugly crying as you opened the envelope and read the first few words that your mom had written.

To my baby girl,

Y/N, I love you so much and you will always be my baby girl no matter how old you get. I know I only got nine years with you, but know that I will always be with you in your heart no matter where you are. I was so excited when I found out I was having a girl and I'm so sorry we didn't get as much time on earth together as we should have. Continue doing what you love. Don't let your brothers take Beary from you. And, don't take no for answer when someone tells you that you can't do something just because you're a girl. Us girls are strong. As for the future, sweetheart, you have the kindest little personality right now. Never lose that. But, at the same time, don't let anyone take advantage of that. Stand up for yourself and stand up for others in need. I am going to leave you with more life tips than I left your brothers because they're older and should know a few more things than you at the moment...and they aren't girls.

Mom's life tips for Y/N:

1. And, don't laugh at this, but it works. When shaving down there, apply deodorant down there after. It helps to keep razor bumps and itchiness at a minimum.

2. Don't go for the first man that says I love you. You need to make mistakes before you fall truly and madly in love.

3. Girls can be cruel in middle school and high school. It's okay if you only have one or two true friends because having a few super close friends is better than having lots of distant ones.

4. Don't depend on any man for anything. Before moving in with your boyfriend and/or getting married, make sure you are financially stable all by yourself. That way, you will be able to leave him if things go south.

5. When you do get married, always keep money hidden away or have a secret bank account that your husband doesn't know about. That way, if things get really bad really fast, you can get out of there as fast as possible.

6. Finally, and I'm assuming Dad, Will, or Jay has already told you these things, but if they haven't, here they are. When drinking, watch the bartender make your drink. Don't take drinks from anyone. And don't leave your drink unattended.

I love you, sweetheart.

Love,

Mom (Amelia Halstead).

PS. Also in this envelope is a $20 gift card to Build-A-Bear. If you are too old to use it, save it for your kids. Or, if you have kids, give it to your kids. There is also $480. This can be used to pay for dresses for school dances, for college, and if you're reading this way in the future, to start a stash of money that your husband doesn't know about, or to help with bills and your own little family.

All three of you were in tears. But, you always knew that both of your parents would be with you and that they were so, so proud of each of you and that they loved each of you more than the world itself.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Leave a comment if I made you cry! I got a request of Kevin and Adam teaching Y/N how to punch, so I incorporated it into this imagine. To the anon who requested that, I hope you liked it! Anyway, please reblog/like and comment to tell me what you think! As always if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you! Finally, liked the imagine? Buy me a coffee here. 

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88​

[jisungsmochi]

traitor - lee jeno

starting my SOUR series !! based on songs by olivia rodrigo, here is the first installment. 

player (?) jeno x female reader // friends to lovers but then goes all downhill from there

word count: 7.1k 

summary: “god i wish i had thought this through, before i went and fell inlove with you”

you were more than aware of jeno’s inability to keep it in his pants, but after a reckless one night stand, you finally understood what it was like to be on the receiving end. but when jeno slips back into his old habits, will you have the heart to move on? i mean how could you get over somebody you didn’t even date...

a/n: sorry for any mistakes as usual oop

tagging bestie: @skrtbabe <3

//

Brown guilty eyes, and

Little white lies, yeah

I played dumb, but I always knew

//

“god what did you do now?” you shook your head at the raven haired boy with a blank expression. he shrugged his shoulders, eyebrows perking up,

“i just decided we were better off as friends” ah yes, lee jeno’s code for ‘she was just a fling, i couldn’t care less’. you only nodded, how else were you supposed to respond? you weren’t exactly his closest friend, but he considered you enough of a friend due to your closeness to jaemin.

you knew that he was a player, finding some sort of entertainment, getting girls to fall for him. you couldn’t really blame them, he was strikingly handsome and had his way with words. the only reason he hadn’t tried anything on you yet was because you didn’t exactly “fit his type”. also, jaemin pleaded him not to, in order to avoid any awkward situations within your friendship. jeno was occasionally playful with you, but you viewed it more of a sister-brother type thing, rather than him trying to flirt.

jaemin has introduced you to jeno near the end of high school. the three of you attended plenty of parties together ( well as many as you could before college started ). your first semester of college consisted of intense study sessions with jaemin in the library, jeno occasionally tagging along. you were both sure he was failing his classes but he didn’t seem to care much. his main focus consisting of getting wasted at as many frat parties he could. 

finals were done and dusted so after your last exam, you got ready for some random frat party being held tonight. you were meeting up with jaemin prior,

“time to party or what?” you gleamed at your best friend, jumping onto his bed as he curled into a ball. you frowned at the sight,

“i’m not feeling so good, you should go without me! go with jeno” jaemin groaned, his stomach pains getting the best of him.

“oh damn, want me to keep you company tonight instead?” you sat next to him, forcing him to sit up with you.

“no no, i’m probably going to take some meds and then knock out for the rest of the night. just go with jeno, it won’t be so bad! i’ll tell him to take care of you” jaemin assured, making sure you were on board. you let out a soft sigh,

“it’s so awkward between jeno and i, right? does he even like me, as a friend?” you lay your head on jaemin’s shoulder, feeling him softly chuckle at your words.

“jeno just thinks you’re really sweet. like you have this innocence to you. he doesn’t wanna be a bad influence or anything, that’s all” you just nod, that was somewhat comforting to know. before you could respond, there was a knock on jaemin’s door. the one and only, lee jeno was standing there in all this glory.

“yeah y/n, i don’t wanna be a bad influence” he smirked as he entered the room. you felt slightly embarrassed he had eavesdropped on the conversation but jaemin decided to interject.

“take her to the party tonight, she needs to have some fun” jaemin shoved you towards jeno, causing you to bump into

his shoulder. he just smirked, nodding along to his friend’s wishes.

“come on, i’ll show you a good time” jeno practically dragged you out of the room. his grip on your wrist was quite firm, he didn’t let go until you both reached his car. jeno opened the passenger side door for you, gesturing for you to enter. jeno made his way to the driver’s side, a constant grin on his face.

“surprised to see you so dressed up” he started the car. you were taken back at first, but this was just part of your usual banter.

“so glad you noticed, i did this all for you” you grinned, feeling quite flushed in the face. jeno just let out a soft chuckle, finding your confidence amusing.

“you’re not drinking tonight?” you questioned, looking over to him.

“nah, kinda trying to cut out alcohol from my diet if i wanna have a healthy liver you know?” his eyes flicked towards you, watching as you started fixing your makeup using your phone camera.

“but don’t worry sweetheart, i’ll take good care of you so jaemin doesn’t beat my ass. don’t get too wasted or you might do something you regret” jeno warned but his words went in one ear and out the other. you knew he was going to ditch you midway through, probably off with another one of his hookups. you didn’t need a babysitter, you were perfectly capable to party on your own.

long story short, you got bored after a few drinks, now sitting on a swinging hammock on the porch of the house. as expected, jeno had left your side a while ago, off to greet his own friends. you were scrolling on your phone, thinking of texting jaemin about how he wasn’t missing out on much. but you were interrupted when jeno sat down next to you.

“bored already?” he snuggled a little too close to comfort, softly swinging the both of you in the hammock.

“you could say that” you shrugged, switching off your phone, giving him all your attention. he looked really handsome in this light, strands of his hair sticking in random places, a slight flush to his cheeks due to the cold.

“wanna get out of here then? i’ll take you home” he stood up, offering you his hand.

“wow you’re being such a gentleman tonight” you snickered, taking his hand in yours as you strolled to his car.

“i’ll always be a gentleman for you”

why did he keep saying these things?

the ride to your apartment wasn’t as awkward as you initially thought. jeno insisted you play some music, his fingers lingering near your knee, tapping ever so softly on the surface of your skin. you held your breath at the touch, he was just being a good friend...right?

as jeno pulled up to your apartment building, part of you didn’t want the night to end. he looked over at you with his glorious brown eyes and you were mesmerised. jeno noticed the way you were looking at him, feeling quite giddy with himself. he had always thought you were pretty, in a cute, dorky way. but tonight, you looked electrifying. he was in awe.

as you looked into his eyes, you felt yourself lean closer to him. jeno couldn’t hide his grin, leaning to meet you in the middle.

“may i kiss you?” you asked nervously, which only added to how adorable jeno found you. his hand met your cheek, softly stroking your skin before nodding,

“don’t even need to ask me, love” he quickly pressed his lips onto yours, giving you instant butterflies.

it finally hit you, holy shit, you were kissing lee jeno right now.

you allowed his tongue to enter your mouth, deepening the kiss. it felt like his lips were meant for yours, in a non-cliche way. he was so gentle, yet so passionate with you. he pulled away, leaving you feeling empty inside.

“how far do you wanna go tonight?” that question had you stunned. you weren’t the type for one night stands, but this was jeno. it was like second nature to him. you almost didn’t even have to think twice, you just needed his lips on yours again.

“all the way” you bit your lip anxiously, awaiting his response. jeno’s eyes widened, taken aback by your new found confidence.

“say less, but we should probably get into bed or something” he chuckled, giving you a warm feeling in your stomach. you could practically hear jaemin’s warnings going off like a siren in your head. but when jeno pulled you into your apartment, gently placing you on the bed, lips constantly attached to yours, you drowned out any other thoughts that were occupying your mind.

college was all about new experiences. so naturally, having a random hookup with an attractive guy would be on the list. just for once, you wanted to know what it was like to hookup with lee jeno, even if you were just another number to him.

//

the very next morning, your eyes fluttered open, taking a few moments to fully immerse yourself in the new day ahead. your gaze finally drags over to the sleepy boy next to you. you couldn’t help but admire his side profile, especially his plump lips.

“stop staring, you’re making me shy” he suddenly grumbled, pulling you closer to him, nuzzling his face in your chest. you immediately froze, of course he was awake.

“last night was fun” he mumbled into your skin, softly smirking to himself. you just sighed, he wasn’t wrong per se, you just weren’t sure what this meant for your friendship.

“y-yeah, it was” was all you managed to say, jeno felt there was something off, moving his head to face you. he pulled your chin to meet his face, placing a gently kiss to your lips.

“did you like it?” you knew he was just being cocky right now, but you couldn’t help but engage in his banter.

“nope, worst hookup of my life!” you exaggerated before burying your face into his chest. he shook his head playfully, stroking your hair as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

“what will happen once jaemin finds out?” jeno started to worry, the last thing he needed was jaemin beating his ass for hooking up with his best friend.

“he’ll be mad for like five seconds and probably scold you too” jeno raised his eyebrows, preparing himself for the confrontation.

“there isn’t much he can do about it though” he placed another gentle kiss to your forehead, continuing to stroke your hair.

“let’s do something today, just you and me. you can pick what we do” jeno suddenly offered, causing you to perk up and sit against the headboard.

“well i need to do some grocery shopping, and some chores around the place, it’s kinda messy if you haven’t noticed. but that’s gonna be so boring-“

“i’ll keep you company”

“come again?”

“i’ll help you go shopping and clean, it’s no biggie” jeno smiled softly at you, making your knees go weak. you hoped he wasn’t just been nice because you had slept together...

//

your trip to the grocery store was surprisingly fun. jeno pushed the cart as you mentally ticked off your list of items to buy. he would make small conversation, giving his opinion on which brands were better. he always made sure to walk very close to you, despite pushing the cart. it was like he never left your side the entire trip. and once you got back to your apartment, jeno offered to carry all the bags, making you flustered. he didn’t have to be so...nice?

“you can just leave the bags on the bench, i’ll unpack” you smiled at him, gently tapping his back. jeno nodded, quickly pulling you by the waist, your breath hitched as he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“i’ll make some brunch” he smiled softly, pulling away, starting to heat up a pan on the stove. you were still in shock by his display of affection. is this what he did with all his hookups?

you didn’t have the heart to tell jeno to go home, but he seemed to have understood that he had overstayed his welcome.

“i should probably get going, you know, to

shower and all” he had a smug look on his face that you couldn’t help but giggle at. you led him to the door, the sun having just set.

“i’ll see you around i guess” you tried to make this send off as normal as possible, but jeno had other plans.

“no goodbye kiss?”

“huh”

“ah i see, you’re just shy, see you around y/n” he pulled you in for a side hug, waving softly as he made his way out the door. this had to be a one time thing.

//

it had been over a week since you had last seen jeno. and naturally you filled jaemin in on all the events of that night. to say he was shocked as an understatement,

“i cant believe YOU slept with HIM. you’re gorgeous, the prettiest best friend ever, but really? jeno?” jaemin shook his head. you weren’t sure if he was disappointedly or just surprised.

“i-i know. it didn’t mean to play out that way. he’s just really charming. and he’s kind of a gentleman” you couldn’t help but feel some heat rise to your cheeks. jaemin picked up immediately, of course you were already smitten.

“i say this in the most loving way possible, don’t get too involved with him. yeah you guys hooked up, but he is not the relationship type. at all. i don’t want to see you hurt” jaemin pulled you to his side as you both sat with your backs against the headboard of your bed.

“yeah, i’ll be careful” you say out loud...‘or atleast i’ll try to be’ you thought to yourself. this was going to be harder than you anticipated.

seeing jeno around campus was bound to happen. you assumed he would just shoot you a wave or a head nod to greet you but you were wrong. he would offer to walk with you to your classes, even hold your bag for you. he’d even ask if you wanted to go off campus to have lunch. you didn’t exactly reject any of these offers, but you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. did he suddenly like you? or is he just trying to not make things awkward between you both? whatever it was, it wasn’t helping your growing crush on the dark haired heartthrob. you were in trouble.

//

one day, jeno had invited himself over to prepare for his upcoming economics quiz. you tried your best to help him study, but then you remembered...lee jeno doesn’t ‘study’, he winged almost every exam and barely passed. C’s get degrees (atleast that was his mindset).

“i’m tired, let’s pick this up again tomorrow” jeno yawned, pushing his textbook to the side as he sprawled his whole body onto your bedroom floor. you were seated on your bed, looking down at the hopeless boy.

“are you sure? we only have one more set of practice questions to go through” you pout, actually finding enjoyment helping him study. jeno shook his head profusely,

“no i’d rather hang out with you” he jumped onto your bed, landing right next to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“i mean, if that’s okay with you” you just nodded, feeling yourself relax in his embrace. jeno gently pulled you down so you were both laying down, facing eachother.

your eyes flickered over his features, his structured nose and jaw, his glimmering eyes and his soft lips. your fingers made their way to graze over his lips, causing him to pout.

“you’re so cute” he mumbled. you moved your hand to hide your face, feeling more flustered than ever.

“why are you getting all shy with me now? did you forget that we had sex? or was that just a really good dream?” he continued to tease, poking at your sides, causing you to let out a loud laugh. you immediately placed your hand over your mouth, feeling embarrassed by the sound that had just left it. jeno raised an eyebrow at you, slightly frowning.

“hey i like making you laugh, so i expect to hear it!”

“s-sorry, i really don’t know why i’m being like this. i-i just, it’s all catching me off guard you know?” you sighed, allowing jeno’s fingers to intertwine with yours.

“it’s alright, i find it endearing” he smiled as he started stroking your hair with his free hand.

“c-can you spend the night?” you suddenly asked, feeling his hand stop in your hair.

“i was hoping you’d ask me that” jeno ducked his head to press his lips against yours. you didn’t want to admit how much you had missed that feeling. but something about the way he kissed you, washed all your cares away. even if there wasn’t any romance behind it, it still felt electrifying.

this was how most nights were spent with jeno. some light studying, some making out, dinner, cuddling, and then more making out before you fell asleep. it was a constant cycle that you didn’t want to stop. he would always compliment you, whether it was your hair or your makeup or your outfit. practically anything he thought you should be praised for, he would compliment you. his words held greater meaning to you than they did to him. you could feel yourself getting flustered each time you received a compliment, while jeno seemed nonchalant. maybe that was just how he was.

one night, jeno decides to stay over, claiming that his heater was broken at his apartment and your bed was warm. but it was code for ‘let’s hook up and fall asleep in eachother’s arms again’. you laid beside him, wrapped tightly in your blanket as jeno pressed soft kisses on your forehead. you started tracing random figures on his chest as he quietly hummed random tunes to get you to sleep. but something was keeping you awake. jeno was hard to read, he never truly expressed his honest feelings towards people. maybe that was just his way of not having to cope with drama. but the constant push and pull between you two had caused many sleepless nights and constant doubt for you. confessing to jeno never crossed your mind prior, but it was the only thing occupying it right now. if you kept it to yourself any longer, you’d probably explode.

you had noticed that jeno’s attendance at frat parties had declined, opting to either hanging out with you or jaemin. he had already quit drinking, not finding much enjoyment anymore. he had also been trying to get above a C average in his classes. you’d say something switched in him, so could it be possible that he may like you too?

“what’s on your mind, pretty girl?” jeno suddenly snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you pull your fingers from his chest.

“nothing” you whispered flatly, but jeno was not convinced.

“come on, something is going on in that

pretty little head of yours, i can see it on your face” he smirked.

“what do you mean?”

“you have this cute frowning face whenever you’re over thinking” you suddenly changed your expression, pulling

yourself to side up as he remained still. you let out a deep sigh, knowing that your next words will change everything.

“i think i like you”

you felt jeno stiffen under the covers, his demeanour suddenly becoming cold. of course you had expected this type of reaction, but seeing it right infront of you, made you want to cry.

“y/n, i don’t think you mean that”

your breath hitched, your throat felt tight.

“i mean, i just- i think you’re amazing. of course i do. but i don’t do relationships. i don’t do feelings or love and that bullshit. atleast not right now, i don’t think i can handle it” each of his words felt like a stab through the heart. how did you misjudge this so badly?

“i fucked things up, didn’t i?” jeno looked you in the eyes sympathetically. of course he felt pity for you.

“no you didn’t. i’m still going to be around. i just can’t be the guy for you” why did you have to go and make things so complicated?

jeno senses you were still overthinking, he smoothed bits of hair from your face, gently tucking them behind your ear.

“don’t frown, pretty girl. i’m not going anywhere” he pulled you closer to him, making you lay down, face to face with him. you wanted to avoid looking into his eyes but he maintained the intense contact with you.

“i’m tired” was all you could think of saying. jeno just nodded,

“rest well” he pulled you into just chest, softly stroking your hair as you closed your eyes. you felt a singular tear stream down your face, landing on jeno’s forearm. he sighed, knowing he hurt you. but he was selfish, he just couldn’t let you go. he wouldn’t let you go.

//

You talked to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

jeno hadn’t been around lately. it was probably for the best, you guessed he just didn’t want you to get attached.

you were walking to your final class of the day, passing by multiple students rushing off in different directions. you were careful not to bump into anything or anyone, but you had the worst luck, feeling yourself slam into a firm figure. your eyes focused on the boy infront of you.

“jeno” your eyes lit up unknowingly, as he greeted you with a smile.

“oh hey, careful there” he helped you remain stable, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“it’s been a while, i was thinking you could come over tonight and we cou-“

“there you are! been looking everywhere for you!” you watched as an unfamiliar girl came up to jeno, leaning into his side. her gaze waved over you, a slight scowl forming.

“y-yeah i’m just talking to a friend, uh this is karina” he introduces to you. what the hell was this? a new girl already?

“i’m y/n, jeno may have mentioned me before” you kindly smile, or atleast you tried your best to.

“oh he’s never mentioned your name, but nice to meet you” she looked over to the boy next to her, “jeno, can you walk me to my class? i’m still kinda lost” she frowned. jeno just nodded in compliance, leading her through the hallway as he sent you a small wave. so this was how it was gonna be.

//

“i mean, who the hell is she? how does she just waltz up in here and suddenly have jeno’s attention like that?” you frustratedly rant to jaemin, who was innocently eating his lunch as you approached him. he practically saw smoke coming out of your ears from how annoyed you were. he had never seen you like this before,

“hey, back track. explain properly” jaemin sighs, pulling you to sit down next to him as he continued eating. you finally got a hold of yourself, taking a few deep breaths,

“her name is karina or something, she’s suddenly hanging around jeno now. and he’s been avoiding me lately” jaemin’s eyes widened slightly, sirens going off in your mind.

“what do you know that i don’t?”

“it’s not my place to say” you scoff,

“not your place? since when have we kept secrets from eachother. i admitted to you that i’ve been having sex with jeno yet you can’t tell me this thing?” jaemin knew you were partially right, but he didn’t want to crush your spirit more than it already was.

“fine, karina was jeno’s first girlfriend. like first love type bullshit. he never really got over her, even when she moved away. i guess she’s back for good” your heart started to ache. gosh, this stupid infatuation with jeno was getting out of control.

“you think he still loves her?” jaemin looked at you with solemn eyes,

“i don’t know, he doesn’t really talk about her much. if anything, i sort of want him to choose you. i think you’re good for him, even if he doesn’t see it yet” you took this as jaemin just trying to cheer you up, you didn’t believe a single word he said. how well did you really know jeno? he had never mentioned karina to you before, nor that she was his first love. i mean, why would he? you were barely friends...right?

//

And ain't it funny how you ran to her


The second that we called it quits?

And ain't it funny how you said you were friends?

Now it sure as hell don't look like it

jeno was at your apartment once again, his legs dangling over yours as you both typed on your laptops. your mind was trying it’s hardest to focus on your assignment that was due in less than five hours, but you were too distracted by jeno’s presence. it wasn’t unusual for him to hang out with you, but you felt slightly uncomfortable, knowing he had also been hanging out with karina more often. maybe you were just being paranoid, but how could you not be?

“quit staring and finish your work” jeno poked you playfully, shutting the lid of his laptop before moving to lay next to you. he leant against your shoulder, making your heart flutter.

“i-i am. why would i want to look at your gross face anyway?”

“stop denying it” he just snuggled closer to you. of course you couldn’t deny it. before you could respond, jeno’s phone started ringing. he quickly jumped out of your bed, hoping you hadn’t seen the caller ID. but you did. it was the one person you were hoping he had stopped talking to.

“sorry about that, it was uh just jaemin” jeno walked back into your room, acting as if nothing happened. you pierced your eyes at him, was he really going to lie straight to your face?

“i know it was karina. you don’t have to hide it from me” you shrug, pretending to type on your laptop.

“o-oh uh sorry. we’re just friends, you know. incase you were worried” was he being for real?

“why would i be worried? just because i confessed to you doesn’t mean you’re entitled to like me back. if you wanna see her then go see her, don’t use me liking you as an excuse” you felt pure frustration take over your body. you had never experienced this feeling before, even jeno was shocked.

“it’s not like that, i swear. i don’t want stuff between us to...end” jeno moved closer to you, placing his hand to your cheek, gently stroking the skin. there he goes again. these small gestures had you swooning, you just couldn’t help it.

you scrunched your nose at the contact, causing jeno to smile softly.

“so cute” he tapped your nose before engulfing you in his embrace. your assignment was long forgotten once he started kissing you. this was all too overwhelming emotionally, but physically, this felt just right.

//

just when things were beginning to feel normal again, jaemin had a few words for jeno.

“you can’t keep playing her, it’s time to come clean”

“give me time, y/n’s sensitive, i don’t wanna hurt her too bad” jaemin rolled his eyes.

“you’re being a real dick about this. if you have feelings for karina, end it with y/n now, or else i’ll tell her myself” jeno grabbed his arm, pleading him to hear him out.

“please don’t. promise me you won’t. i know it’s going to hurt her, but i want to do it on my own” jaemin wanted nothing more but to call you right now and have jeno confess over the phone. but he knew you deserved to hear it from jeno in person. all that the two boys could think about was how crushed you’d be after hearing the truth. but the truth will always come out one way or another.

//

y/n: hey jeno, i’m officially assignment free! come over and hang tonight :))

jeno: hey sorry, hella swamped with a group assignment at the moment. will make it up to you tomorrow!

you nodded to yourself after reading his message. you were proud of him for working so hard in his studies nowadays, it really seemed like he was improving. you opted to spend a night to yourself, switching on the television and eating an excessive amount of snacks from your kitchen cabinet. as usual, you were on instagram, wondering what others were up to now that most assignments were done and dusted. lee donghyuck had the most wild and sometimes, disturbing, instagram stories but you were always curious as to what he was up to. but this time you regretted it greatly. seeing a video of jeno making out with karina against the wall shattered you. you immediately locked your phone, switching the tv off completely. your body felt numb, why weren’t you reacting? why weren’t you crying? or even mad? how could you be mad...you weren’t even dating him. how pathetic of you to believe he would be loyal after practically rejecting you. you felt like a fool for falling for him. there was no way he could sweet talk his way out of this. the pain was too much for you to bare, resulting in you deciding to take a social media detox...well a detox from everyone really. you became more sheltered and isolated than ever. it was just too good to be true.

//

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah

You talked to her when we were together

Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter

“y/n, honey, you need to come out and eat okay?” you regretted giving jaemin a spare key to your apartment. he would enter as he wished, cooking you a warm meal before sitting outside your bedroom door as he begged for you to come out. you hated making him worry like this but you physically couldn’t get yourself to leave your bed. the same bed you and jeno had slept in together many times. you swore you could still smell traces of his scent on the pillow sheets.

“please just go home, jae” you groaned.

“no, i’m your friend and i need to see that you’ve atleast showered and taken care of yourself” his words made you want to cry. he cared for you so much, but he wasn’t the one you wanted to hear these things from. for the first time in what felt like weeks, you stood up from your bed and shuffled towards the door. you turned the door knob slowly, gaining jaemin’s attention. he immediately stood up, eyes scanning over your state.

“oh honey” he pulled you into his chest, gently stroking your hair.

“has he said anything?” you manage to murmur, catching jaemin off guard.

“n-no. atleast not to me. i’m sorry”

“why the hell are you sorry? he should be sorry. he should be grovelling to me to forgive him. but now he’s off, with some other girl. like i never meant a damn thing to him” you scoffed, pushing past jaemin as he trailed behind you with the tray of your now, cold, meal. you sat down on your couch, wrapping yourself in a small blanket.

“do you think he liked her this whole time and just didn’t tell me?” jaemin’s eyes shifted from left to right, which he only did when he withheld information.

“y-you knew?” he slowly nodded, the guilt eating him up inside.

“i wanted to tell you, i promise. but he insisted that he would let you down in person” jaemin tried to explain. you couldn’t even be mad at him. it must have been so obvious that jeno was into karina the whole time. you were just another name to his list. nothing more.

“am i pathetic for still liking him?” jaemin let out a sigh, unsure of how to answer. but that reaction was a good enough indication that you were indeed pathetic, for wanting a guy that didn’t want you. lee jeno was a traitor.

//

another night was spent alone. you were simply catching up on your usual shows, using it as a distraction from the pouring rain. what you didn’t expect was a series of loud knocks on your front door. who the hell wanted to visit you in the early hours of the morning? you proceeded with caution, twisting the door knob, allowing the door to slowly swing open. your eyes met those of the boy who broke you. you wanted nothing more than to shut the door right in his face, but he stopped you before you could even move.

“i-we need to talk” he slurred his words. he seemed drunk, but you weren’t fully sure. you could have sworn he quit drinking months ago, but the sight infront of you was telling you otherwise. jeno suddenly slumped towards you, his weak figure now latching onto you. you quickly shut the door, dragging him to your couch.

“i cant believe you’ve been drinking again” you felt disappointed. he was doing so well.

“couldn’t help myself, life is shitty. i lost you, karina and i are fighting. jaemin is giving me the cold shoulder. oh and i failed my last assignment, guess i can’t even finish the year” you had never seen him so defeated like this, you started feeling pity for him.

“but that’s no reason for you to drink yourself to this state. i’m really disappointed in you. i know you can do better” you sighed before rushing to your kitchen, grabbing him a bottle of water. jeno took slow sips from the bottle, eyes avoiding yours. there was still one question lingering in your mind,

“why are you even at my apartment? don’t you have your own?” you didn’t want to come off as rude but jeno couldn’t deny he felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

“i-i don’t know. i just feel comfort whenever i’m here. y-you gave me comfort. and i messed it all up” you felt tears begin to swell in your own eyes. why was he saying these things now? the timing was terrible.

“you’re babbling nonsense. just go to sleep, i want you gone in the morning” you grab him an extra blanket and pillow, watching as he slowly started drifting to sleep. you weren’t sure if he really meant the things he was saying, but you’d rather keep it that way. you didn’t need any more reasons to hold onto jeno. this was just a one time thing, you weren’t completely heartless. this was the night you saw jeno at his worst, and if you were being honest, you couldn’t be with him like this. you now knew, that you deserved better than lee jeno.

as expected, he was gone by the time you woke up, leaving you a small note,

“thankyou for everything”

you quickly scrunched the piece of paper, tossing it into the bin. you felt slightly relieved, this was a sign that you were finally starting to get over him.

//

Now you bring her around just to shut me down

Show her off like she's a new trophy

And I know if you were true

There's no damn way that you

Could fall in love with somebody that quickly

“hey so there’s gonna be a bonfire tonight, wanna come with me?”

“i don’t know, jaemin. not really up for hanging in big crowds at the moment” jaemin frowned, wanting nothing more than to see his friend happy again.

”i’ll be next to you the entire night, if that gives you more ease” he pleaded with his big eyes, rubbing his shoulder against yours. you eventually gave in, wanting nothing more than for him to stop giving you those creepy eyes. maybe something good will come from the bonfire.

you spoke too soon, the moment jeno and karina showed up, it was like somebody was impaling you with a stake to the heart. you physically couldn’t move, eyes avoiding having to meet those of jeno’s. you felt someone’s eyes on you, but refused to look up from your feet which were buried in the sand. soon enough, you felt the gaze escape, along with the two people you wanted to avoid the most. jaemin awkwardly coughed,

“this is going to be harder than i thought” you sighed, causing jaemin to press his lips together in a tight line.

“i know, but it’s not the end of the world” he shrugged, pulling you closer to him as you both soaked up the heat from the fire. you hated how jeno was showing her off like his new trophy. he constantly had his arm around her, laughing with his friends loudly, pressing soft kisses to her forehead. it made you sick.

your mind drifted to the conversations where jeno insisted he was not the ‘relationship type’. you remembered how he avoided your confession, how he only wanted your company when he felt alone. how he always interrupted you with a kiss when you would ask about his feelings. it all felt like some sort of sick joke to you. if you knew jeno the way you thought you did, there was no way he could fall inlove so quickly.

but you knew that he was inlove, or atleast falling inlove, because he looked at her the way you used to look at him. you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself, you got played. plain and simple. lee jeno was never meant to be a permanent figure in your life, he was a lesson to be learnt. you had to let him go, no matter how much it hurt, you knew it would be for the best.

//

it was finally summer break, instant weight lifting from your shoulders as you handed in your final paper. although this year had its ups and downs, you were beyond proud of how you managed to stay on top of your school work, and shove any thoughts regarding jeno, from your mind. it had been radio silence from

his end, not having reached out to you in weeks, until some of your classmates invited you to some drinks at a local club. you couldn’t pass on a night to finally let loose, so you gleefully accepted their offer. it was also nice way of making new friends for the following year to come.

“hot damn, who the hell is that?” your newest friend, minjeong, swooned. you shifted your eyes to the figure in question. jeno stood there in all his glory, leather jacket hung loosely on his shoulders as he greeted your classmates one by one. he was slowly making his way to you and minjeong, you wanting nothing more than to rush to the bathroom. but he definitely would have seen you,

“long time no see” he grinned, taking a seat on the bar stool next to you. minjeong noticed that you were beginning to feel uncomfortable. she tapped your arm gently, asking with one simple gaze if you needed her with you. you shook your head in response, this was something you needed to sort out, once and for all.

“it has been a while” you sighed, turning to face the boy who tore you to pieces. jeno stiffened at your tone, part of his heart aching to hear you speak to him in such way.

“how have things been? i-i kinda miss hanging out together-“

“are you serious right now?” you practically scoffed, taking a large gulp from your drink. you needed some liquid courage for the speech you were about to give.

“who do you think you are to come up here and act like everything is all good between us? i know that jaemin has told you how hurt i was over you, gosh, it was probably one of the most painful heartbreaks i’ve ever experienced. can i even call it that? a heartbreak? i mean, we never dated so technically we never even broke up” jeno slowly gulped at your words, hoping no one else was eavesdropping on your conversation. but he allowed you continue,

“we hooked up, i confessed, and it all went to shit. once something new and shiny came by, i was old news. i really thought we were going to be something. how naive i was to even believe that someone like you could be with someone like me. i guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor, lee jeno. and i hope you never forget it” you could barely look at him, feeling hot tears fill your eyes. you clenched your fists as jeno cleared his throat before speaking.

“i-i’m sorry okay? i didn’t mean for things to go so far with us. i never want you to think that you aren’t important to me. at the time, you were one of the best things that had ever happened to me. but we just weren’t right for each other, i told you that from the start” you finally built the courage to face him, his gentle eyes meeting your pained ones.

“god i wish you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you” those words hit him like a truck. he knew he had messed up, there was no going back from the damage he had done. he broke someone that he truly cared about. he hurt one of his only friends. he could never forgive himself for that.

“y-you’re going to find someone. someone way better than me. someone who sees how beautiful you are, someone who will hold on for dear life because they’re scared of losing you. i’m sorry i couldn’t be that guy for you. i am so sorry” you could sense the sincerity in his voice, but there was only so much an apology could fix.

“may i ask, are you happy?” he already knew his answer, and he knew it would hurt you if he answered truthfully. but he was done with lies,

“yeah i am, are you?” you pondered for a moment,

“i will be” you firmly answered, feeling a small grin grow on your face. although this entire interaction was pure torture, you were glad you were able to air out your conscience to the one person who was filling it. you and jeno agreed to cut contact for the time being, wishing each other the best. of course you would think about him every now and then, but you were onto bigger and better things. lee jeno was just one chapter on your book of life. there was so much more out there for you, and you couldn’t wait to experience it.

[sequinsmile-x]

High

Aaron gets hurt protecting Emily. 

For my pal @aubreyprc 

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: Canon typical violence/injury. Some cursing. Aaron Hotchner high on pain meds. 

She was going to kill him. 

First, she was going to check he was ok, kiss him until she was sure and then she was going to kill him. 

Emily anxiously twirls her wedding and engagement ring around her finger, attempting to channel her nervous energy into something other than tearing her cuticles apart. A cup of coffee enters her eye line, and she looks up to see Dave standing in front of her, a reassuring smile on his face.

“It probably tastes awful, but at least it’s something.” He says as she takes it from his hand and he sits next to her. “The others are finished at the scene and are on the way.” 

Emily grimaces at the taste of the coffee as she takes a sip, but for a second it distracts her, takes her mind off the fact her husband is an idiot. 

An idiot who she loved more than anything. An idiot who happened to take a knife to the shoulder for her less than an hour ago. 

“He’ll be ok, Emily.” 

She scoffs before taking another sip of the coffee, grimacing at the taste again. “He won’t be once I’m finished with him.” She shakes her head and looks at her friend. “Why did he do it, Dave? We’ve been together for years and this has never happened.” 

“The guy had his arms around you and a knife against your throat.” Dave says, his eyes flicking to the tiny cut on her neck. “He would have done the same for any of us.” 

Emily closes her eyes at the memory. She wasn’t exactly sure how it happened, how she had ended up on the floor and the unsub had his knife in Aaron’s shoulder in a matter of seconds. The first thing she was really aware of was a gun going off, Derek taking a well aimed shot at the unsub to disarm him, but not kill him, and Aaron lowering himself to the ground next to her with his hand pressed against his own shoulder. 

She had held him against her as they waited for the paramedics, her hand against the wound and her lips against his forehead as she told him she loved him and how fucking stupid he was in equal measure. 

“I know he would have.” She agrees, knowing it was true. Aaron would do anything for the team, take any of their places if they were in danger. She knew he carried a burden if any of them got hurt, more so if it was her, and it would take weeks for the guilt to fade, for her to be able to convince him that just because he was their leader it wasn’t his fault. “It doesn’t make him less of a self sacrificing asshole.” 

“Em-”

“Maybe you can save the lecture for when I’m not sitting in a hospital waiting room wearing a shirt covered in my husband's blood?” Emily says, an edge to her voice that has Dave hold up a hand in surrender as he takes a sip of his own coffee.

Emily knew Aaron would be ok. He hadn’t lost consciousness once, even when she had sat next to him in the ambulance, his hand grasped in hers as he tried to hide the amount of pain he was in. But he had been so pale, the blood loss making him look weary as he tried to reassure her that everything would be fine. 

“Family of Aaron Hotchner?” 

Emily looks up to see a doctor standing and looking around, a kind look on her face as Emily stood, Dave not far behind her, and walked over. 

“I’m his wife, is he ok?” 

The doctor guides them back over to the waiting area, indicating for Emily to sit down, which she does, feeling anxiety rise through her chest. 

“The stab wound your husband came in with was very deep, and the scans show that the tip of the knife broke off against his clavicle.” The doctor explains gently. “The tip of the knife is still in his shoulder, so we are going to have to do surgery to get it out and close up the wound.” 

Emily felt like the wind had been knocked out of her, memories of when Aaron had been stabbed before, so many years ago now, flooding back in a way that took her breath away.

“Is he going to be ok?” She asks, shrugging Dave’s hand off of her shoulder as he tries to provide some comfort, knowing right now it wouldn’t do her any good.

“There are never any guarantees.” The doctor says, but she smiles at Emily again in a reassuring way. “But he has remained conscious this entire time, and spent a long time trying to convince us he didn’t need pain meds.” 

Emily chokes out a laugh at that. “That sounds about right.” She clears her throat, forces down the emotion trying to claw its way up it. “Can I see him?”

“Of course.” The doctor replies. “I need you to fill out the paperwork too.”

Emily stands and follows the doctor, briefly turning back to Dave. “Can you let the others know?” 

“Of course, bella. You go make sure he’s ok.” 

She follows the doctor to the room Aaron is in, and she blows out a breath when she sees him. The wound to his left shoulder is packed tight and he looks so pale it does nothing to calm her concerns. 

“Sweetheart.” He says as soon as he sees her, a strain to his voice as he tries to hide the pain he is in. She walks over to the bed and sits on the edge of it facing him, taking his hand in between hers. “Are you ok?” 

He lifts his good arm to press his thumb to the tiny cut on her neck, the one that had stopped bleeding before the paramedic even arrived, and Emily rolls her eyes at him. 

“I’m fine. And I’m not the one with a piece of a knife stuck in my shoulder, honey.” She scoffs as she straightens the cannula in his nose delivering him oxygen. “You scared me.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

She leans forward and kisses him, a gentle thing against his lips to remind herself that he is alive, and then she rests her forehead against his. 

“It’s ok. Just don’t do anything stupid like die during surgery.” She says, her smile wavering as tears flood her lash line. “I’d hate to have to bring you back to life just to kill you myself.” 

He laughs at that and it makes him jolt in pain, wincing as the movement makes his shoulder burn. She shushes him, her fingers soft against his cheek. 

There’s a clearing of a throat behind them and Emily turns to see a nurse standing there. 

“We need to take you down now, Agent Hotchner.” 

Emily turns back to Aaron and kisses him, more forceful this time as she tries to pour everything into it. She pulls back and smiles at him. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He says, squeezing her hand.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.”

__________________

The first thing Aaron feels is pain. His shoulder is killing him, a burning sensation lancing all the way down his arm and across his chest. Then he realises how fuzzy his head feels, the tell tell signs of anaesthesia and heavy pain killers in his system, making his brain feel light and heavy at the same time.

He opens his eyes and looks around, unsurprised to see he is in a hospital room. He groans at the light in the room, the brightness of the fluorescent lights making his head swim even more. 

“Aaron.” 

He turns to see Emily sitting next to him, a look of relief on her face. Her presence confuses him, unsure why she was by his side, and why her hand was in his. 

“Prentiss?” He asks, missing the way she frowns when he calls her by her surname. “What happened?” 

“You were stabbed, you had to have surgery.” She stands up, both of her hands now grasped around one of his. She presses a kiss to his cheek and he shrinks backwards, the pain in his shoulder stopping him from moving more. 

“What are you doing?” 

She looks at him, equal parts concern and amusement on her face. “Trying to kiss my husband.” 

“We aren’t married.” He says, and he watches her smile slip away. “That’s mean, Prentiss.” 

Aaron had loved her for years, longer than he had cared to admit. He’d often wondered if she’d felt the same, but this felt cruel. Like she was messing with him when he was so in love with her just having her touch him made his skin feel like it was burning. 

“I could show you our marriage certificate but I don’t carry it with me everywhere we go.” She jokes, a nurse walking in before she could say anything else.

“Oh look who is awake.” The overly cheery nurse says as she sends a smile to Emily. “Your wife was very worried about you.” 

“Not my wife.” Aaron mumbles. Just my beautiful coworker I’m in love with. He thinks, although a small laugh from Emily and the nurse tells him he may well have said it out loud.

“Is he ok?” Emily asks, concern for him sneaking it’s way into her voice. “He knows who I am but keeps insisting that we aren’t married.” 

The nurse finishes checking Aaron’s vitals, making a note on the chart in her hands. “He’s fine, this isn’t totally unusual for someone coming round from anesthetic. I’ve seen some people completely forget who their loved ones are.” She presses a few buttons on one of the machines he is hooked up to. “I’ve set up the next set of meds, so he should sleep soon. Next time he wakes up, try and get him to eat some of the crackers we’ll bring in.”

Emily nods and turns her attention back to Aaron as the nurse leaves. “See, the nurse knows we’re married.” 

“I’d remember marrying you.” He grumbles, eyeing her wedding rings with jealousy. Her husband is a lucky bastard. 

Emily smiles at him, biting her lip to suppress a laugh as he realises he had accidentally spoken out loud again. She pushes some hair off of his forehead, her touch warming him immediately, something familiar about the gesture that his confused brain can’t place. He thinks he sees her get her phone out, but the room is starting to get blurry, his eyes closing against his will. 

“I don’t think you even remember what town we’re currently in, Aaron.” 

“Too pretty to marry me.” He says, his voice thick as the painkillers the nurse had given him start to make him drift to sleep. “Too good.” 

“Go to sleep, love.” She says, a kiss to his forehead as she soothes him. 

He falls asleep to her soft lips against his skin, and he thinks there would be much worse things in the world than being Emily’s husband.

__________________

It takes another couple of hours for him to wake again, and she can immediately tell he’s more lucid this time. A focus in his eyes that hadn’t been present in the few minutes he had been awake earlier.

“Hi sweetheart.” He says, smiling at her in the way he did on their first date, the way it made her feel now no less significant than it had been then. 

“Hi honey.” Emily stands from the chair next to his bed so she can kiss him, and then she settles on the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”

“Sore.” 

She raises an eyebrow at him, but leaves it, knowing that she won’t get any further admission of pain from him. “I need to make you eat some crackers.” She says, a smirk on her face as she indicates the package on the table next to him.

He groans, the idea of eating anything making his stomach turn. “Do I have to?”

“Yes. But I’ll give you a few minutes.” 

“I’m your husband, you’re meant to be nice to me.” 

“Oh, so now you remember we’re married?” She asks, a wry smile on her face that develops into a laugh at his confusion

“What?” 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell you later. I took a video.” Her smile fades slightly as she takes in the bandage poking out from his gown, the way his arm was strapped to his chest. 

“I’m ok, Em.” 

“I know.” She says, looking back at his face and giving him a wobbly smile. “Today was rough.” She lifts his hand to her lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles. “As soon as you are better we’re going to have a conversation about you sacrificing yourself like that for me.” 

“I’d do anything for you.” 

Emily shakes her head at him and rolls her eyes. “You’re an idiot.” 

“But you love me.” 

Emily smiles and kisses him, pulling back just enough to to speak. “I really do.” 

__________________

She shows him the video footage of him in the hospital as soon as they get home, him in their bed on rest for at least a month. She giggles as he tries, and fails, to take her phone from her, his usual strength failing him with one of his arms out of action. 

He promises all sorts of filthy things, once he’s better, in exchange for her deleting the video, which she does in front of him.

It’s only at the office Christmas party a few months later when it pops up in the montage Penelope puts together every year he realises he’s been duped. 

[tomtenadia]

My knight in shining armour

Rowaelin month Day 2 - University AU

I literally just finished this. I wasn’t going to write for this prompt but then an idea finally hit me.

The title as usual is bad... sorry

2k words

-----

Aelin had days in which she hated men. That was one of those days. 

After finishing high school she decided to took a challenging course at the University of Terrasen. Her dad, before he retired, had been an airforce pilot. She had grown up going around his base, visiting him when he was back. In doing so, she had become obsessed with planes. As she grew up, her dad had let her get friendly with his engineer and the man had started teaching her all she needed to know about aircrafts. From the basic physics to the more obscure detail of how the jet worked. Aelin had been fascinated. She had started reading all the possible books, and as she got older, her dad’s engineer had also started having her to actually help her in the hangar. In the summer when school was out, she would actually get a part-time job as an apprentice at the base and she had loved every moment of it. She had also become very close with the two female pilots and together they had spent time talking about the life of a woman in a boys club. The two women had become her role models very quickly.

Terrasen was quite and open minded country but some ideas were still quite obsolete.

In high school at the question “what you want to be when you grow up?” She always answered an aircraft engineer for the airforce. She never faltered or never doubted. That’s what she wanted to, that was her path.

But when time for uni arrived and she applied for a degree in aeronautical engineering, that’s when she realised that the boys club extended far more than she expected.

She was basically the only woman in the class. None of the guys had approached her and on the first day she had walked in the classroom, one of them had the guts to tell her that the humanities department was in the annex c. She ignored the bastard and sat down at the front. She belonged in that room and she would prove it to every single one of them.

Day after day she had shown her knowledge and surprised her professor who was amazed at the fact that she could answer such in depth questions. Last time it happened, she had turned to Chaol - the asshole who had told her about the annex c, and gave him a smirk. That had removed his stupid grin from his face. It felt amazing.

During a private one-to-one with her professor she had confessed to him she had been working at the airbase as an apprentice during the past three summers. Her teacher had luckily been very supportive and encouraged her to keep up the good work.

Now, six months in, she still hated with a vengeance the arseholes she had to study with. Some of them even had the guts to ask her for some help after they realised she was actually good. She had answered that surely they didn’t want the help of a woman, and walked away.

After another class it was finally lunch time and she was meeting Rowan down at their spot on the grass. They were a couple. He had asked her out in the summer after high school was over and they had been together ever since. He was a med student and he knew her pain about choosing a challenging degree. Both their degrees were very intense and required a lot of time so they would just try and spend as much time together as they could. They had a flat together but the public library was were they spent most of their time.

And when their schedules allowed it, they would enjoy lunch together, venting about their academical choices.

“I fucking hate that bastard.” She raged, dropping her bag on the grass and sitting at his side, depositing a kiss on his lips. She felt better almost immediately, being in his arms was all she needed to feel okay again.

“What did he do now?” Asked Rowan knowing of her struggles in her classes.

Aelin grabbed her bag and pulled out her food, the dinner that Rowan had prepared the previous night and then packed away for both of them.

“The teacher gave us an exercise where we had to design an aircraft with what we had learned so far.” She told him, while munching away her food “He was up first and his project was a effing disaster. Seriously, I’d wouldn’t want to fly on a plane designed by him.” She took a sip of her water “the teacher asked us to say what was wrong and it took me ten minutes to stop. I mean, a two year old would have done a better job with lego bricks.”

Rowan giggled at her side “then my turn came and the bastard had the guts to tell me that the aerodynamics of my plane were off and that my ailerons where wrong as well and would not allow the plane to function properly. I took my laptop and shoved it in his face and told him to find the error in my math. He had no clue.” Her face turned smug “then the teacher took over and said that actually my project was, among all, the only one that could actually fly. I felt smug as fuck.”

Rowan pulled an arm around Aelin’s shoulder and pulled her to him. He was proud of her. Every damn day.

“Then after class, he threw me a paper plane and inside it had a message saying this is the only plane you will ever build or work on. I swear, the guy is still alive only because I am not looking forward to finishing my degree via distance learning from a prison.”

She calmed down “how was your day?”

Rowan leaned back against the tree “I had anatomy and physiology. Today we covered the endocrine system and it must be one most boring of them all.”

“Well,” she added with a big smile “when you cover the reproductive system you are welcome to practice with me…”

He laughed and squished her to her chest “I am a very big fan of your… bits.” She kissed him deeply not caring that they were in public, she wanted him and hated that they had more classes before being able to go home and then alas, study more. Maybe for one evening they could study something different.

“Aelin?”

“Yes, buzzard?”

His tongue gently teased her and she opened for him while his hand brushed off a rebel strand of hair.

He pulled back “Nothing, you had tomato sauce on you lips. I was just wiping it off. Did you think I wanted to kiss you?” 

Aelin gently punched him on the shoulder, in return he gave her a massive grin. Rowan was a very reserved man who struggled with stranger, but she had her own version, the goofy one, the one who made jokes and loved to cuddle with her. She would treasure that version forever. That was just for her.

They were busy chatting away and she was showing him on her laptop the exercise she had been working on and her plane prototype and although what she was saying was greek to him, he still listened to her in fascination.

She was telling him how a plane flew and the four forces when a figure stopped in front of them.

“It must be exciting to brag with your boyfriend about your hopeless projects.” Said the man.

Rowan raised his eyes and finally saw the face of the man that had been making Aelin’s life miserable.

“What did you just say?” Rowan stood and towered on the brown-haired man by twenty centimetres. Chaol also looked frail compared to Rowan’s muscular frame.

“Chaol, you’d better go.” Not that she cared about the man, she just didn’t want Rowan to get into trouble for a petty man.

“You’d better give up while you still can, Galathynius. Aeronautical engineering is not a field for a woman.” He crossed his arms at his chest trying to look intimidating but the look in Rowan’s eyes told her it was a useless attempt. Her boyfriend was ready to attack. She knew he had never hit anyone, but had a feeling that if Chaol didn’t stop it could be a first for Rowan.

“Chaol,” she stood as well and growled his name in warning.

“Oh, so you are one of those arseholes who believes that certain jobs can be done only by those who were born with a penis. It’s the fucking 21st century. Grow up, idiot.”

Rowan swore, alarm bells rang in Aelin’s head. He only swore when he was extremely mad, something that her unflappable boyfriend rarely was.

“Oh look, Galathynius, you have a knight in shining armour.”

Aelin moved between Rowan and Chaol, trying to separate them when her boyfriend moved a step closer to the other guy.

Chaol chuckled “Did you sleep with every professor—” but Chaol never finished his sentence. She saw the scene develop in slow motion in front of her. At those words Rowan’s face had turned feral and as on instinct his arm moved and a second later his fist found its target in Chaol’s face. 

Rowan then grabbed Chaol by the collar and lifted him up slightly “You take it back, immediately or I’ll smash all the twenty two bones in your skull.”

“Go on,” said Chaol, nursing a broken lips.

Aelin stopped in between and grasped Rowan’s hand gently “Put him down, Ro, he is not worth it.”

Her gaze then turned to Chaol “now you go back to whatever shithole you came from and perhaps go back working on your project and design a real aircraft.” She moved closer to him “I know what the fuck I am doing. And I know I will have a job in the airforce after this. You will just go back being daddy’s little spoiled boy.”

Chaol glared at her and Rowan finally let go of him, bur before he fully released him he pulled the man close enough that his mouth was near his ear “you disrespect her like that one more time and you’ll finish your degree from a hospital bed while sipping your food from a straw.” Rowan flashed his teeth in a threatening gesture “you leave her alone, because if I hear you have been a bastard to her one more time, I will make your life a living hell.” And eventually released him. Chaol shrugged his t-shirt back into place and walked away without adding another word.

Rowan sighed and then turned to her, his expression back being soft as soon as she looked back at him.

“You didn’t have to punch him,” she said while snuggling against his chest. His arms quickly around her.

“Yes I had to. What he said….” She felt him tense up again “he made me so mad, fireheart.”

“Seeing you thump him was very sexy,” she kissed him gently on the lips “my knight in shining armour.”

Rowan chuckled and looked into he blue eyes “you don’t need a knight. You are fierce, brave and strong and do not need any protection,” he added, his lips on her head. Nesting under his chin was her favourite position. They fit perfectly “I, on the other hand, as a male who is hopelessly in love with you, felt the desperate need to avenge the sullied honour of my amazing other half.”

Aelin giggled hard “you really sound like a knight.”

“Come on, Sir Rowan Whitethorn of Wendlyn, let’s finish our lunch, I have an hour of mechanics of flight coming up and I need sustenance.”

“Yes, my queen,” he said kneeling in front of her.

Aelin laughed and kissed him deeply “maybe I can be your queen tonight in bed as well.”

His smirk grew wider and Aelin felt heat pool at her core at his expression.

“Whatever m’lady commands.”

They finished their lunch in peace without any more interruptions and eventually they parted ways, going to their respective classes.

Chaol did not bothered her anymore. He didn’t even met her gaze and him ignoring her was all she asked. She was there to learn, he could just go and sulk in the afterburner of a jet, perhaps while on, for all she cared.

Aelin texted Rowan a thank you and his reply was a simple To whatever end.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Never Too Late 4

Warnings: noncon sexual acts (later in series)

This is dark!Steve Rogers and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’re turning forty and life seems to be forging ahead on its one way track, that is until you meet Steve Rogers.

Note: So I wouldn’t say I’m back just yet. I was just getting ready to answer more of your amazing asks and I’ve been sitting on this chapter forever so I decided to edit and get it out between my original stuff. I won’t be posting regularly just yet but I just wanted you guys to know I appreciate you!

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Series Masterlist

It was a bad day. Well, only morning so far. You woke up stiff. Work, your mother, life. It all piled up and wound a knot just beneath your shoulder blade. As you sat up, you realised it was more. Not just your shoulder but your neck and all down your sides; the muscles stiff and unyielding.

You barely managed to grab your phone from the bedside table. You whined as you fell back onto the pillows and dialed your manager’s number. It was early enough that all you got was her voicemail. You sucked in all your breath and quickly left your message. A sick day ticked off your yearly tally. You hung up and stared at the ceiling. Ow.

You turned your head and that hurt too. Just inside your dresser were your freshly washed capris and the dark blue tank just waiting for you. Well, you didn’t imagine a run would do you much good. Or be possible. You sobbed in frustration.

It was an hour of agony. You tried to fall asleep but the pain was too much. You groaned as you pushed yourself up. A yelp escaped you as you hung your legs over the edge of the bed and stood. You hobbled to the bathroom and caught yourself on the sink. You opened the cabinet and used one hand to break two capsules free of the packet. For emergencies only.

You tossed back the muscles relaxers with a handful of water from the faucet and grumbled as you made your way back to bed. You could have fallen onto the mattress but even the thought made you hurt. You lowered yourself carefully and laid face down. You stayed like that until your phone vibrated against you.

You felt around beneath your side and answered without looking. 

“Hello?” You croaked as your eyelids began to droop with the weight of the medicine.

“Hey, you okay?” Steve’s voice rose from the speaker.

“What? Steve?” You rolled onto your side and wheezed in pain. “Yeah, I’m… fine.”

“I’m at the park.” He said evenly.

“Oh, I--” You tried to relax and urge the tension from your back. “Sorry, I hurt my--ugh, back.” 

You couldn’t get comfortable. Every which way only made it worse.

“Your back?” He asked.

“I’ll be fine. I took some relaxers. I just need to sleep it off and-- urg, call my chiropractor.” You balled your other hand around the corner of your pillow. “Ow, ow, ow.”

“What did you do?” He asked. “Did you lift something or--”

“You really don’t need to worry,��� you gritted through your teeth. “It happens. It could be from just sitting in the same chair for eight hours or you know, just father time. Ahhhh.”

“I’ll come check on you,” You heard him walking and then a car horn. “Um, I just realised I have no idea where I’m going.”

“Steve, really, I can take care of myself.” You insisted. “The pills are already kicking in.”

“I can help. I have some experience with physical therapy.” He replied. 

“No, no, it’s--” You tried to sit up and almost screamed, instead muffling it in your throat. 

“You can text me the address. You don’t sound fine.” He urged. “Please.”

You sighed. Then gasped as it sent a pang through you.

“I can’t--” You were tired and your head was fuzzy from the meds. “Alright.”

You hung up without awaiting his response and keyed in your address before you dropped the phone. You closed your eyes and let yourself float away in the static, the knot in your back still thrumming in your subconscious.

Your phone kept you from sinking entirely. It shook again, this time without pause. You answered and Steve’s voice came over the garbled buzzer.

“Hey, I’m here.” He said.

“Here?” You blinked at the phone.

“It’s Steve. I’m downstairs.” He said.

“Why?” You asked.

“Oh, never mind,” He replied. “Thanks.” You heard before it cut off entirely. The line went dead and you slung your phone down beside you.

Then the knocking came. You were annoyed. You got up, with an effort that made your entire body throb. You ambled into the living room and neared the door. You peeked through the little hole and slid the chain free. You leaned heavily on the door as you opened it.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked and you just bared your teeth at him. “Wow.” You stumbled back and hit the closet behind you. You winced and your legs threatened to crumple. “Here.”

He closed the door and wrapped his arm around you as he pulled you away from the closet. You whimpered as he led you back into the living room. He hesitated as he looked around then continued to the bedroom door. He peered inside before he angled you within and towards the bed. He was warm. Hot against you.

“Oh, I can feel it.” You mumbled as he lowered you down to the mattress. “The relaxers are hitting.”

“Good,” He carefully laid you down and turned you onto your side, your back to him. “Where does it hurt?”

His hand started at your neck and you groaned. He brushed down and you got louder as he touched your shoulder then your lower back. His fingers tickled your hips and he lingered along your pajama bottoms before he retreated. He pressed his palm more firmly to your back.

“Definitely tension,” He said.

You hummed and bent your arms in front of you. He let you fall back and your eyes slowly closed. 

“What did you take?” He asked.

You pointed to the bathroom and your arm quickly dropped beside you. You opened your eyes as you heard him. He frowned and left you. He re-entered with the package of capsules and read it.

“How many?”

You held up two fingers and he shook his head.

“It says you should only take one every six hours.” He turned the box in his hands. “These are extra strength.”

“No, regular,” Your lashes fluttered and you let your eyes close again. “I only get regular.”

“No, these are extra strength,” His weight settled on the mattress. “You should be fine but no more for today.”

“You go,” You grumbled as the drowsiness rested over you like a shroud. “I told you… I’m okay.”

“You need someone to keep an eye on you.” He said. “You took a double dose.”

“Tired,” You yawned. “Go.”

You didn’t register his response, only his tone. Stern. You were dragged deeper into the dissonance until all was black. Until all that remained was the distant pain along your spine. The whisper of the worries which had turned your muscle to stone.

💊

You woke as the pain needled into your neck deeper than before. Your head was cradled between your pillows and your arm bent beneath you painfully in your drugged sleep. You groaned and pushed yourself up, vaguely aware of someone else moving around in your apartment.

You touched your forehead and tried to clear your head. You remembered calling in and taking the relaxers but after that, it was all fuzzy. You rolled over with a squeak and carefully sat up. Your eyes welled and threatened to overflow from the sheer agony down your spine.

A count of ten readied you for the torturous effort of standing up. You staggered and caught yourself on the nightstand. Your shirt was twisted around your torso and your pajama pants were rumpled from your heavy sleep. You moved slowly and stiffly to the door and eased it open as you listened to the activity on the other side.

You followed the steady chop of a knife against the cutting board and leaned inside the kitchen doorway as your shoulder twinged sharply. Steve was focused on chopping a cucumber as low jazz floated up from his phone. You gripped the wooden frame beside you and rubbed your eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice scratched in your throat.

He looked over at you and placed the knife down. He wiped his hands on the dishcloth and neared you. “You shouldn’t be up. You’ll only make it worse.”

“What-- I don’t--”

“You took too many relaxers.” He said flatly. “You’ve been sleeping it off for the last… six hours.”

“Six hours?” You muttered as he guided you around and into the living room. You hissed as another jolt rattled your bones. “Ahhh.”

Steve caught you before you could collapse and scooped you up in his thick arms. He sighed and sat you down on the couch softly.

“What were you doing?”

“Making a salad.” He answered. “I didn’t want to just leave you here alone.”

“You didn’t have to come in the first place.”

“I think I did.” He brought his hands to either side of your neck and you winced. A blinding pain ran from the back of your skull, down your neck, along your shoulder blade, and all the way to your ankle. “Do me a favour.” He dropped his hands. “Turn your head to the right.”

You squinted at him and reluctantly did as he said.

“Left.” He demanded and when you tried the other side, you cried out and reached up to grip your neck. “Hmm, raise your arms.” You did that but your left didn’t get as high up as your right. You gasped in pain again and he sat beside you. “Turn your back to me.”

“I should call my chiro.” You said. “You shouldn’t--”

“I know what I’m doing.” He insisted and squeezed your hip. “Turn.”

“Steve.”

“I’m trying to help you.” He poked your arm and you relented and shifted until you were sideways on the cushion. He bent his leg up and faced you.

His large hands settled on your shoulders and he ran his thumb up your neck. You whimpered and he slid his hands lower, feeling your muscles.

“Tell me what hurts most.” 

He touched your left shoulder blade and paused as you cried out. He poked along it and your voice rasped even louder. He continued down your back and sides and the weight between your hips made you shake as it felt as if your entire body would dissolve from the pain.

“I don’t know what I did,” you whined. “I just woke up like this.”

“Anything happen yesterday? Something stressful?” His hands crawled up your back and he grasped your shoulders again. He began to stroke the back of your neck lightly with his thumbs. You went rigid as he coaxed the muscles. “Just relax, you’ll only make it worse.”

“Ah,” you did your best to let go of the tension but you weren’t comfortable with him touching you. In fact, you weren’t entirely fine with him being in your apartment.

“So, what’s going on?” He asked.

You exhaled deeply and he moved to your shoulders, a surprised groan escaped you as he hit a particularly tender spot.

“Definitely a pinched nerve.” He said. “So tell me, what’s go you all knotted up?”

You shook your head and that only jarred you again. You couldn’t help but lean back as he kneaded your flesh. The pain was unbearable and overwhelmed your caution.

“My brother’s birthday is coming up. I’m supposed to go to my mom’s--” you sucked in air as you resisted a moan. He definitely knew what he was doing. “She called me last night and--” You couldn’t hold back the next and the long whine escaped you. You closed your eyes in embarrassment and searched for your voice. “You know, she didn’t do anything for my birthday but she wants me there and I love my brother but-- ughhh, oh my god, Steve.”

You covered your mouth as your wispy tone sent heat through your body.

“I told you, relax. Keep talking.”

You tore your hand from your mouth. “You don’t have too--”

“I want to, now what’s going on with your mother?”

“The usual. She’s disappointed in me. She… wants me to bring a date but even if I had one, I wouldn’t want to bring them around. I wish she’d just accept me for just me but--” You pressed your lips together and dug your nails into the couch as his hand got lower. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

“I don’t think so.” He continued to work your muscles and you leaned back against him without thinking. “Your mom shouldn’t be pressuring you like that. You’re doing so well. You’ve been running, you work hard, and I think she should be proud.”

You dropped your head back against his shoulder as your eyes rolled back. His hands were on your hips, kneading and gripping in turn so that your right leg slung down limply over the side of the couch. He didn’t seem to mind as you pressed against him and your voice swirled up into the air in relief.

He was quiet as he continued to massage your lower back and along your sides. He repeated his course up and down until he was focused on your hips again. The remnants of the relaxers rested on your eyelids and your breath slowed as you were tempted to fall back asleep.

He rubbed your hip bones lightly as you floated in a haze and all was quiet but for the beating of his heart against your back. His hands moved around your front and his fingers crawled over your pelvis. You were startled by how intimate his touch was but could do nothing but remain as you were.

He retracted his hand as if surprised himself. He cleared his throat and eased out from behind you, lowering you onto your back as he stood. He sniffed and his jaw tensed as he forced a smile.

“You stay here. Don’t move, I mean it, you’ll hurt yourself worse than you already are.” He took a pillow from the other side of the couch and slipped it under your head. “I’ll go finish lunch. You need something in your stomach.”

He turned and took the slender black remote from your low coffee table. He placed it beside your hand. His blue eyes flicked across your middle and you pulled down the hem of your shirt as you realised it had ridden up. He shook his head and backed away.

“After you eat, you should take a hot bath. Liquid heat is good for tension.” His voice faded as he strode back to the kitchen. “And I think you should take tomorrow off too. That’s not going away overnight.”