#my own mother doesn't like me

[sweetlikesunflowersandhoney]

*girl who is not doing well at all voice* I should rewatch Pride and Prejudice (2009)

[iindigoeyed]

i imagine felix explained to kagami that he was transmasc and she was like "you can do that? really?!" and then felix lent them his old binder and well, you get it.

bonus:

[yardsards]

im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

[mytardisisparked]

I wrote a lil something X-Files flavored for Mother's Day. @singeart and I were talking about Maggie and Mulder and their dynamic and here's the result :)

Read on AO3

Other Mothers; Other Sons

The second her mother’s door was open, Scully felt herself being engulfed in a tight hug. She smiled and did her best to return it with equal vigor, even with her arms pinned to her side.

“Hi Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.”

Maggie Scully pulled back, still holding her daughter by the shoulders. “Thank you Dana.” The genuine joy and gratitude in her eyes was almost overwhelming. After a moment, she released Scully and took a step back towards the door. “I’m almost ready to go, do you mind waiting just a moment while I finish up?”

Scully shook her head and they went inside. 

“Don’t get too comfortable!” Maggie threw over her shoulder as she breezed towards the bathroom. “I’ll be 2 seconds!”

“Okay.” Scully smiled after her. She lingered in the kitchen, looking at a couple of new pictures of Charlie’s sons on the fridge - he must have sent them in a card. The two boys were grinning wildly at the camera in that way that children do, with no regard for how much is too much. It made Scully smile wider herself. 

She turned to the rest of the kitchen and her eyes landed on a large bouquet of lilies and baby’s breath on the table. Those must be from Bill. Or, more likely, his wife, she thought. She stepped forward and, in a moment of petty, sibling-like curiosity, plucked the little card from the flowers to see who’s handwriting was on it.

She froze. The handwriting was familiar. Very familiar. It was not, however, Bill or Tara’s handwriting.

Written in the same loopy cursive that was at the bottom of all their case reports to Skinner were the words: Happy Mother’s Day!  - Fox.

The confusion evaporated as quickly as it developed; her mother had mentioned several times what a comfort Mulder was while Scully was missing, and Mulder had made a few comments himself about how much he liked Maggie. Scully also knew that Mulder’s relationship with his own mother was fraught - she never told him, but the emotional abandonment Teena inflicted on him has always been a steady, hot fuel for rage in the pit of her stomach. 

She knew he went to visit Teena for the holiday. A phone call to him that evening would probably be a good idea.

“He dropped those off this morning.” Maggie’s voice made Scully jump. She turned to find her mother leaning in the doorway, all dressed up in her Sunday best for brunch. “He’s a sweet boy.” She smiled.

Scully nodded. “I-” She swallowed, unsure of what to say. “Yeah.”

Maggie gave her an all-too-knowing look before walking over to touch one of the lily petals. “He said he was on his way to visit his mother today.”

“Um, yeah.” Scully took a breath. “He’s taking her to lunch, I think.”

They were both quiet for a moment, and Scully wondered how much her mother knew about Teena. Eventually, they looked at each other in sync; Scully saw the same knowledge that burned in her own gut burning behind Maggie’s eyes.

Scully looked away. “Did, um, did Bill call?”

“No.” Maggie turned to grab her coat. “I’m sure he will later. He’s probably not out of church yet.”

As Maggie moved to the door, Scully bit her tongue against the frustration cresting in her chest. She looked one last time at the pictures from Charlie and the bouquet from Mulder, and then followed her mother outside. 

[markantonys]

i have spilled so much ink about gawyn but really i only need 2 passages to explain why he is Like That

1. My blood shed before hers; my life given before hers...That was the oath he had taken when barely tall enough to peer into Elayne's cradle. ... Gareth Bryne had had to explain to him what it meant, but even then he had known he had to keep that oath if he failed at everything else in his life. (LOC prologue)

2. From Morgase, Queen of Andor, to her beloved son, Gawyn. May he be a living sword for his sister and Andor. (ACOS prologue)

like yeah, no wonder he does what he does in AMOL. people will be like "gawyn is so stupid for not thinking about the fact that his death would hurt egwene" as if he's being maliciously stupid and careless, when in fact, he has such little self-worth that he genuinely does not consider himself a valuable human being whose loss would impact anyone or anything. his life given before hers. a living sword. this has been his mindset since toddlerhood and nobody ever noticed it enough to try and counteract it. gawyn is exactly what rand would have been like at the last battle if he hadn't had a mental health intervention.

[pinchan]

me thinking about yuji and how he's his mother's son

[https-vintage]

Gushing about my better childhood Dr

I want to take a minute to gush about how excited I am to shift to my better childhood dr, but specifically about how excited I am to make my communion and my confirmation in that dr, because I grew up with a mother who acted like those two days that were supposed to be about her daughter were actually about her, like my hair, dress, and makeup. Everything was all what she wanted it to be, but she made it out like it was all what I wanted when it obviously wasn't, which made me feel bad about it when I said I didn't want those things, and on those days we kind of just went where she wanted me to go, you know? We visited relatives, family, friends, and neighbours that I didn't feel comfortable around or even knew, and we'd be there purely because she wanted to show me off, which is a big part of why I'm so excited for my better childhood dr, because on those days it will actually be about me. This time I will actually wear what I want, we will visit who I want, do what I want, and it's going to be so great because I really deserve for those days to just be about me.

[fromtheseventhhell]

Saying that non-conforming female characters don't face as much misogyny as their "feminine" counterparts is so funny cause literally the misogyny in their treatment is more overt because they aren't staying "in their place" like men think they should. The disdain for women + misogynistic societal ideals are so much more blatant in male characters interacting with these women. Countless times they are, in essence, told they need to sit down, shut up, and know their place but somehow that translates into them having "masculine privilege". I can only assume that people with this take haven't actually read the books and only get their information from second-hand sources.

[girlpetrarca]

gang I'm not sure I have the courage to come out to my boxing coach

[navree]

people doing this whole "look at how rhaenys acted with corlys's bastard son vs how catelyn acted with jon snow" to demonize one or the other is weird because, like, maybe it's just me, but i think that catelyn and rhaenys had different reactions because they're different people in different situations.

[bihanapologist]

I believe that bi-han is the way he is because of his upbringing and because of the patriarchal systems in his clan, so it would be poetic if his partner (fem reader) was also a victim of patriarchal systems in her clan but because of that, she has an entirely different personality compared to bi-han.

as a man, bi-han was raised to be the head of the household. to never show emotions, to never cry, to always be strong. weakness wasn't tolerated. in contrast, reader was raised to step aside in favour of the men in her household, to be obedient and a perfect wife. perhaps both of them had oppressive father figures but because of their upbringings, bi-han ended up aggressive and cold while reader became reserved and meek.

for reader, it hurts when she has to marry bi-han for he is an image of her father. she was raised to be the perfect wife and daughter yet she always falls short in the eyes of her husband and her father. she wants to detest the men in her life yet she clings onto any form of male validation. it's just painful and interesting to see how patriarchy doesn't just affect women, but everyone.

[hauntingjasper]

We are all afraid of something...

I wonder what Prince Gumball's biggest fear would be?

There's an episode (Five short tables I think) where it shows that he's afraid of dying alone/his own mortality to some extent. I imagine that because he's long-lived and most likely has watched many people die before him, he's scared that there won't be anyone else by *his* side when it's his turn. There's no way of knowing when or how, he wouldn't be ready for it, so that's probably double scarier for him. He's an anxious fella

[shopcat]

omfg people really need to calm the fuck down about people disliking some characters like it's not always a deep seated prejudice or an inability to empathise it's because we are human beings with our own experiences and normal biases and fictional characters are not real and it doesn't matter if you don't like them for pretty much any reason at all and doesn't make you suddenly x just because the character is y it just means you don't like them. obviously other indications of actual prejudice or a repeated pattern mean something else entirely but you can just dislike a character because get this they're a character and not a real person. you can dislike real people too even it's almost like we've got free will. please oh please can we get out of the torture chamber together.

[vv-ispy]

on one hand I totally understand tropes are popular but on the other hand I think Amos is a lot more compelling as a middle aged woman trying to figure out her life after a loveless relationship than a mother figure ya know

[tcfactory]

My family sucks and money is uuuh so I'm going to try and open a few easy quick commissions in the next few days. Headshot/half-body only this time bc I actually want to finish these in a timely manner.