#my own actual fic qwq
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jazjelspen ¡ 10 months ago
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my angel baby [part 2]
(alastor w/ angel daughter reader)
[caution: NOT PROOFREAD oh and angst hehe]
(notes: alastor joins charlie and vaggie in heaven to convince them about the hazbin hotel. angel reader physically resembles a fawn. )
[tags: @luujjvi @c-lunette @mokisano @ghostdoodlen @wildfire153 @anonymousewrites @bewitchedbymadness @thisbitchreallyneedssleep @22carolina08 @original-person]
[remember if you want to keep in touch with a particular series I write, let me know in comments or messages you want to be tagged! you will only be tagged once unless specified that you want to be tagged till the end of a particular series!]
(also once again, apologies if alastor’s last name isn’t actually altruist qwq it’ll stick till the end of this fic but I’ll try not to mention it as much)
For the first time in years, you feared being in heaven.
Not that you felt unsafe, just that you felt incredibly uncomfortable seeing your serial killer dad who's now a demon be invited to be in the place where light and goodness is it's main foundation.. even reassuring yourself that it was temporary didn't calm you down when you were flying away from him. For your own sake you even avoided where the welcoming was happening.
Ahh but.. it also didn't help that he was following you around after the show without you knowing.
After the angels had performed their song to welcome in the princess of hell, her apparent partner, and-- him.. everyone sort of went their separate ways and the visitors from below started to relax in their new yet temporary places of stay. You felt a bit of relief when you assumed Alastor would also be setting himself in to relax as well.
During heaven's performance you decided to take a breather at a local coffee shop, one where you thankfully always had a spot there where you could hide away from the huge windows of the cafe.
Although right after that, unbeknownst to you at the time, Alastor was looking for you, but obviously pretended as if he was looking for a good bite to eat.. unfortunately for him he had to behave and he couldn't eat a living walking thing until after they came back home.
Oh how bummed out he was.
You were in a far corner inside the shop, as mentioned before anyone that was able to look in through the windows wouldn't be able to see you since you were out of view. Drinking your favorite beverage that the shop offered and eating a filling snack to relax your body and mind. Safe to say you were now more in touch with your feelings and weren't overly panicked as you once were.
'Why is he here.. is he an advisor to the princess? a companion?.. some kind of servant?.. she's really young though, perhaps she's ward to him or something.. but she has her.. dad.. and I'm sure he must be alive still.. ' You thought, different theories and ideas passing by in and out your head trying to make sense of the situation.
'perhaps.. he's here to see me?..' you hoped, then scolded yourself right after,
'nono.. I can't be wanting that.. sure he raised you but he's a monster. he killed you, _____. get a grip..' you sighed deeply while massaging your temples in frustration 'even if he seemed to not.. have meant to do that. he tried to kill someone else anyway, that poor man could've died instead of you.' you tried to reason with yourself, coming to a single conclusion in the end.
Eyes glued to your drink. staring at it with intensity.
"I regret nothing." you claimed to yourself in a low mumble, not enough for anyone close to hear.
Ahh.. but you did miss him very much.. the version of him that you grew up with at least.
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You were in your warm and humble home with your father. It was a fairly cold night with rain dropping onto the roof of your home yet the warmth of the house seemed to make the cold seem almost cozy to you.
Your small footsteps could be heard running around the house, as your little seven year old self ran around you seemed to be giggling uncontrollably with a peculiar circular item in your hand.
"No running in the house _____, remember what I told you." Alastor exclaimed in slight irritation as he could hear you from afar while he was cleaning up the table from the dinner you two just had, he started slightly missing the times when you didn't know how to walk and when you simply just blabbered baby nonsense.. he definitely doesn't miss the sleepless nights of baby crying though.
You huffed and puffed as you then plopped the item on the sofa, it was a disk, a record. You then climbed yourself up and once your little body landed on the cushions you then picked yourself up once more to then grab the disk and turn to the small table right beside the sofa where a large phonograph rested on.
"Papa!" you exclaimed, "Papa! Music music!.." you pleaded, your little voice begging to once again turn on the music playing machine.
Alastor faintly chuckled at your little demands, amusing how such a small thing dares to command but nonetheless he found it silly at how you tried. "Yes yes my dear, I'll be right there." He then set the last few dirty dishes away to be cleaned soon since he couldn't say no to listening to some tunes before bed.
You smiled brightly as your little feet playfully tapped on the cushions, almost jumping. Noticing your developing excitement Alastor hurried over to you.
"Ah-ah-ahh, no jumping on the sofa my dear. I'm excited as well but I can't have you break your little head open, that'd be no fun at all!" Well.. that and he didn't wanna ruin his cushions, but nonetheless he cared for your wellbeing the most even if he wasn't fond of admitting it.
His hands gently took the disk from your hands, carefully setting the disk on the phonograph to have it play your favorite tunes. Once you two heard the amazing first few notes of jazz was when Alastor settled down beside you on the sofa and you started clapping in delight.
Alastor looked at you almost fondly, letting out a small huff of delight at your reactions. Your innocence seemed to be something that contained him from wanting to continue his murder spree, although his bloodlust always wins in the end, he seems to always willingly pause his life for you.
Plus, he loves jazz just as much as you do.. why would he miss out on this?
Your fit of giggles dwindled down but didn't stop, in a sudden burst of energy you jumped off the sofa and then started dancing similarly yet obviously a bit more goofy to how you've seen couples and single dancers dance in the nights of Mardi Gras or just parties your father took you when he would be invited. Your little dance moves seemed to be fiddled with confidence yet they were so off from what you were trying to attempt, nonetheless you were happy, and that's what Alastor secretly liked to see.
"Dance with me papa dance with me!" you pleaded again, your smaller hands grabbing his larger one and tugging at it, trying to get him to stand up.
"_____ darling no tugging, besides I just sat down my dear and I'm exhausted." He sighed, his constant smile always present yet he was visibly a bit tired from the day he had.
But oh how you persisted, and how darn adorable you were as a kid. "But papaaa!.. pretty please! I wanna dance how you and that singing lady did the last time we went on those big loud places!"
"Parties, dear." he corrected you, but let out a long sigh and got up. Because no matter how tired he was or how annoyed he seemed to be he didn't mind keeping you happy.
So that's what he did, he danced with you. Swinging you, twirling you around to the melody and the beat, your cheers of glee and uncontrollable laughter motived him to keep up with your excitement. Not only that but your smile, genuine and pure, it was what he needed to get himself to match your energy. Jazz music was what always connected you two and it always brought you together no matter what.
At the end of the song Alastor ended it by gently throwing you up in the air and catching you, letting you get your last giggles out. You both laughed together, your bond ever growing stronger. You truly did tame this bloodthirsty killer without even trying or knowing, of course you were too young to know.
Once the giggle frenzy ended you both finished your dancing with a long sigh, the phonograph ending it's segment. You then suddenly yawned and rested your head in the crook of his neck over his shoulder, snuggling for warmth and for a sudden need to sleep.
"Seems like my little fawn needs sleep now, almost past your bedtime young lady." Normally he'd scold you a bit more strictly as he usually did, but seeing as how you were basically ready to fall into a pile of dreams he just felt no need to do that.
"Sorries papa.. I forgot.." your little words muffled by your face hidden in his neck.
Alastor was never one for being touched, let alone hugged or snuggled. Oh but he had no right to complain, he's had you this close since you were a baby.. to him this just felt normal now.
Of course no one but you could be this close to him, you're his little girl after all.
"No need to worry, my dear." He stopped in front of your bedroom, carefully opening the door with a creak following after. With careful footsteps he walked towards your bed, pulling the blanket away to then gently place you on your cozy sheets with care.
Alastor gently moved any misplaced hairs away from your face as he then pulled your soft and warm blanket up to your neck. Your sleeping face reassuring him.
"Sweet dreams sweetheart." His usual smile softening a bit more before backing away and slowly heading towards the door of your room, lingering for a few extra seconds to take one last look at you before slowly closing the door and heading off to bed himself.
After the click of the door closing can be heard, you mumbled "Goodnight papa.." with a smile, even if in the end Alastor didn't get to hear it.
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You missed him, dearly.
A weight fell on your chest, your eyes begging to form tears. You missed when you had that childhood innocence, when you didn't know what he was capable of, when he was nothing but a saint to you.
It still hurt after all these years, you thought he was a good man.. a bit strict, blunt, a bit too true to himself and definitely peculiar but.. the Alastor that raised you would never do that. Until you were obviously proven otherwise.
Oh but I guess you were too into your reminiscing that you didn't notice the background gasps and small shrieks of surprise and fear, and you didn't yet feel the eventual stares and eerie presence right in front of you.
"What don't you regret, my dear?"
You choked on your drink in surprise almost spitting it out,
that fucking radio voice again.
For heaven's sake how did he find you?? He couldn't have seen you through the windows. Did he follow you??.. did you just not notice.. Oh geez maybe getting used to having your guard down during all your years in heaven definitely didn't help with this situation.
You continued coughing on your drink, even punching your chest a bit to get that last good cough out. The radio demon pulled the chair in front of you to sit across from you, not waiting to ask permission.
To him he didn't need to, he's your father after all.
Once you calmed down you immediately avoided eye contact, only giving him a once second glance to confirm it was him in hopes your ears were playing a trick on you-- they weren't.
"How.. how'd you find me.." you mumbled in slight fear.
"Oh how would I not! Sweetheart I'm your father of course, as your father I must have those parental instincts.. I always know where you are!" he exclaimed, seemingly proud of this.
"I'm guessing those 'parental instincts' didn't kick in when you stabbed me, huh." you spat with attitude, unafraid to be rude to him with so much sin he's committed.
A sharp static sound came from him, as if in slight shock at the disrespect and comeback you gave. "Watch the attitude young lady, you're still an Altruist you know."
You scoffed, hating at how indifferent you felt about your last name.
"Not by blood though.."
"I raised you, don't forget that." he spat back, starting to get irritated.
"And because of that I owe you?"
"Yes, yes indeed! Smart girl you are."
You scoffed at his response, finally getting the guts to look at him in the face. His appearance frightened you, disgusted you even.
Is this truly the man that raised you?
"As a matter of fact, I actually don't." you crossed your arms in annoyance and a huff. Your eyes couldn't help but to slowly drift to off to the people behind him and you see fellow angels you know continue to stare in awe or fear, of course at Alastor. With all eyes on you and mostly him it made you feel a little embarrassed. You cowered down a bit and your wings went over your head and shoulders a bit as if to hide you behind a 'curtain' of sorts.
Alastor obviously noticed this, but could care less about the stares.
You sighed, "Look, Alasto--"
"I think you mean to call me 'father'." he interrupted as he obviously seemed a bit sassy about it. "Even 'dad' is just simply fine and dandy with me!"
"No, I can't," you frowned, wishing you could "I won't. Not after what you did to me, to that man that night, and to every other poor soul you hurt."
Your face slowly scrunched up in disgust "You don't deserve my forgiveness, my mercy."
In embarrassment and feeling tears want to shed you grabbed your drink and got up to walk out, before you could get past Alastor though he grabbed your wrist harshly.
"Uh-- hey.. let go--"
"I didn't mean to do what I did, my dove." His voice turned into a weird version of gentle, almost uncharacteristically gentle. "I never intended to take your life away."
He sounded genuine.
Could he?.. Would he?..
Maybe, just maybe--
"No." you spat, "Maybe you didn't mean to hurt me, but you definitely meant to hurt others. That's something I can't forgive and I'm sure your victims wouldn't neither." you glared at him, setting your foot down. "I refuse to call you my father, not until I know that you repent for your sins but knowing you I highly doubt that." You snatched your wrist away and for a slight second you stopped caring about what others thought when they'd see this "Besides, you killed me two weeks after I turned eighteen.. don't even include the years that passed since the 30s and present time so clearly you can't control me anymore old man."
But Alastor wouldn't go down that fast nor easily.
His sharp smile widened, you felt immense dread.
"Oh little one, no matter how far you are or how much you try to disown me you are forever connected to me. I made you who you are and you can try to run and fly off however long you want but in the end you're tied to me whether you like it or not. Even in death."
He seemed deathly serious with his statements so much so that you could've sworn you could see his shadow giggling and smirking in a way that seemed even worse and more than evil.
Your breath quietly hitched in fear in noticing this to the point where it even forced you to take a step back. He let out a sinister chuckle before you couldn't help but speed out of the shop and flew out.
You couldn't handle him, he was shameless when showing this side of him.. how could he be this shameless and normal?? How could he act like this and be proud about it? He killed people and doesn't regret it, you being the only exception just didn't feel right and it wasn't fair!
Not to you.
He may have been able to silently control you and vaguely manipulate you to believe he was anything but a bad person back when you were alive and young but now your eyes are wide open and so is your heart.
You have such a bad feeling about this whole thing, he was up to no good he just couldn't be-- he had to be using the princess as an excuse to do something shitty.
Good thing you had plenty of connections, if you just played your cards right...
Hey.. wasn't there something about a court meeting happening soon?
On the other hand Alastor stayed sitting there still chucking devilishly, his intentions and true feelings smeared and unclear.
With a snap of his fingers a cup of black coffee appeared and he began drinking it with a sense of casual glee and eyes closed in delight. Until he felt eyes on him, two nearby to be exact. He opened one eye to look at the angels staring at him and they both seemed like more biblically accurate angels, both having one eye and all. The radio demon shot them an evil grin.
"Oh adolescents these days, rebellious aren't they." He cackled before going back to drinking his coffee, the angels creeped out by his interaction soon scurried away from him.
The fear. He enjoyed it, just not really from you.
(thank you all who asked for part 2!! of course I had to deliver since you all really wanted it and honestly I love adding flashbacks to memories Alastor and the reader had when they were alive, makes their ending on earth just that more painful (as if it wasn't clear I love angst). Honestly I don't mind making more parts for this! If the demand is consistent and you guys still want to keep up with it I have a few ideas to keep this going! Once again thank you so much for reading!! Now I must finish writing for other stories lolllll!)
(p.s: i highly recommend listening to any mitski song while reading this I think it fits well especially with the flashback scene hehe)
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zykamiliah ¡ 3 months ago
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Random confession but: A very specific and (relatively) small pet peeve I have is that for some reason most fics exaggerate sqq's obliviousness to a ridiculous point (in canon he isn't as bad as in fics, albeit still oblivious) while at the same time making sqh super insightful??? Bro, sqh was just as surprised that lbh was into sqq. Bingqiu already had their happily ever after going on while moshang was still deep in the misunderstandings territory 😭
anon that is actually a pet peeve of mine too hahaha qwq one of the many, many reason i can't read fics anymore, except for a selected few fandom does have a tendency to either hyperbolize or reduce character traits that don't typically fit the mold or known archetypes.
as you said, sqq is quite smart; his problem was that he didn't expect there to be almost zero homophobia in the pidw world, or that lbh would, of all things, fall in love with him. i mean, WHO expects that??? we as readers know because we have an omniscient pov and we came into the novel knowing the endgame, but the characters don't know!!! it's true that sqq can misunderstand some things, but more than a reflection of his intelligence, it showcases how he views himself in the eyes of others, and that is something that evolves through the novel. like, you have book 2 sqq thinking that self-detonating won't cause pain to lbh at all, and then in book three he threatens lbh with bashing his own skull if lbh surrenders to tianlang-jun (absolutely based of him lmao)
"(...)But if you want Luo Binghe’s body, don’t even think about it. Luo Binghe, if you surrender to him, I’ll crush my own skull.” “Shizun!” Luo Binghe yelled, furious and helpless. “Shut your mouth,” Shen Qingqiu snapped back. ch16: Melting Ice
I've already talked a lot about sqq's intelligence so I won't go into it here (also i should go back to work haha qwq) but yes, he is smart and resourceful, but if he lacks information he makes mistakes, and that's just normal. and YES sqh is even more oblivious than him, mainly because he's as traumatized as lbh, and because he didn't expect mbj, a demon, to court him...with demon courting rituals. because sqh doesn't expect anyone to love him or care for him.
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osarina ¡ 8 months ago
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(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)
OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!
gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)
"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"
STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP
"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."
self-explanatory
“Are you calling me ugly?” 
u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up
the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO
“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”
ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck
"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."
i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ
ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr
“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 
i giggled
PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO
these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!
RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG
honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞
UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY
the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it
AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)
oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB
bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀
HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD
RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS
i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it
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quillium ¡ 24 days ago
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Heya! This isn't really an "ask you"- haha. But I just wanted to write to you- for quite a bit honestly. First of all, I hope you're well. The first piece of work I've read of yours was "Ben & May's". I absolutely loved it. I read it way back in 2020. I was 15 years old, kinda angry at the world lmao. But I found my solace in reading and writing stuff by strangers on the internet. I commented on your story- which in fact was one of the first and only times I ever bothered interacting with someone online. I don't know why, but reading your story made me warm. Warm to the core. And I wanted to share my own story! About how I related to an incident in the fic, because I snuck out of my house with a broken arm to participate in the science fair at school. You responded sometime later and congratulated me and told me to take care of myself. And you said something else too. It might have been in a joking way but you said something along the lines of "You're literally Peter Parker lmao". I don't know why but that really stuck with me. Peter Parker is a character I grew up worshipping, I'd read all the comics and watch every show with him in it with my dad. I've always loved school and learning new things, but it was always hard for me to find confidence. My dad and I are pretty tight but I can't say the same for me and my mom. And for a great chunk of my life, I've had to live with her, which didn't exactly yield the greatest upbringing (which you can probably tell by the way I'm writing to you now haha). So when someone even humouredly made that comparison- I was super taken aback. Super doubtful. But I was awestruck too. I've never been complimented before- in such a meaningful way from anyone other than my dad (that has since changed thankfully, but at the time young me was still recovering from huge life changes). So it really got me to take a good look at my life and actually embrace being who I wanted to be. I started picking up stuff at school again, and I made friends. I started writing. I hung out with my dad more- of course, watched so much Spiderman and read so many comics. I managed to graduate high school early. Now I'm at university. I graduate soon. I took up Biology and Chemical Engineering. And I'm happy. I never really forgot you, or your writing which gave me so much comfort. I logged back on AO3 recently and was super happy to still see you writing. I just knew I had to reach out. Now I apologize if this is like weird, but I just had to put this out there. Thank you, really- thank you for your warm response and the art you put into the world. I don't think you'd even remember my comment on your work or this small interaction, but to me, it made a whole lot of difference. I really hope you're well, and continue to be. I can't believe I made a tumblr account just for this qwq XOXO
BRO I REMEMBER YOU. When your comment came in, I was 17-years-old, living more in the world of my writing than reality, right about to enter university, and even if I was half-joking I was also low-key dead serious that you were literally Peter Parker. I was, and continue to be, incredibly impressed by you. I think I might have told my sister about you in a sort of like, dang, there are some brilliant and crazy people in the world, and they're reading my fics for some reason sort of way.
I'm doing very well! I've grown closer to my family, built lovely friendships, and am also set to graduate university (perhaps predictably, I'm a literature major). As weird as this might sound in turn, a great deal of my confidence and growth was built by comments like yours. There's nothing half as sweet as the portion of someone's life given to you because they saw a bit of their story in yours, and that glimpse of someone else's reality opens up the possibilities for mine. No matter the wonderful little interaction we had, it has been meaningful and a pleasure for me. You've given me a great deal of warmth as well.
Congratulations on the rebuilt confidence, the new things you've learned, the friends you've made, your seriously incredible academic achievements, and the many other delights that I'm sure you've attained. You really have worked diligently, relaxed peacefully (I hope!), and lived wonderfully. Good job, and I hope you continue to live well <3
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i-am-beckyu ¡ 1 year ago
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AKDNDKDKJFKSKDF IVE BARELY SENT ANYTHING HERE LATELY IM SO SORRY BECKY!!!!
How is you? :] I is tired, it’s night time, tho I don’t feel like sleeping yet-
Your birthday fic is coming along, I will probably have it done by your birthday, if I balance homework and life right… Let’s have a snippet!
…
The borrower heard an irritated sigh, and, sure enough, when he looked up there was his escort and best friend, ———.
…who, as he looked closer, seemed ready to murder him. ——— gulped, and tried to play it off casually.
…
I hope you’re excited! And I also have actually started, and have a decent idea for my 100 followers fic (THANK YOU 3D)
I maaay have taken some inspiration from your 100 followers fic, even most of its original, if you see somethings that seems like MMTS, then I hope you don’t mind :]
Also, randomly, I don’t think anyone’s seen this, but I’ve actually been going around becoming peoples evil, shadow clone counter part (I have way too many side blogs at this point) *cough* anybodywritingao3 *cough* Rose if you see this no you didn’t
So… On a completely unrelated note, what would your evil shadow self be? What would their pfp and username be? :D
also can I ask why everyone’s putting their pfp underwater and how do I join the trend I have no idea how to do that qwq
This ask is getting pretty long, uh, I hope you don’t mind….
I’d like to talk to you more, but I don’t want to bother you :]
(and in an earlier ask you said that I can just message hi in the family discord but that’s basically not possible for me cause I have something called being social anxious around people I find amazing and cool :P)
Okay okay I’ll stop the ask now-
Have a nice day/night if you’d like too!
Cookies? 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
-✨anon✨
HIIIIIIIIII ✨ANON✨
All good all good! I was pretty flat out as it was yesterday and on the weekend. Pretty much played power wash simulator irl cleaning lol.
And I'm good! I hope you slept well (because you should def be asleep right now as of posting this) I'm a bit tired just cause of all the work I did but otherwise feeling good. ❤️
S N I P P E T
*eats snippet and gets the happy chemicals* oOooOo am so EXCITED FOR THIS FIC!!! BORROWER FIC! BORROWER FIC! LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Bu tbut but but as I know everyone is telling you, make sure to not over work yourself and take breaks. You don't have to force yourself to finish any of these fics on time if it means you get some extra sleep or finish the homework you have to do. Sleep being the most important of all things. Not saying you can't do things, just keep a healthy balance <3
and awwwwwww. My MMTS fic has inspired you're own 100 follower special? 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't mind at all!!! If anything it makes me extra excited cause it gives me a very vague idea of what the special fic could be centering on (putting bets on a monster meets found family times lol)
@nobodywritingao3 can you please drown @munchkin1156 next? They wanna be part of drowned squad :3
And this ask isn't long at all! You're more than welcome to come chat anytime and as long as you like. You're not bothering me at all <3 Also I get the discord feeling a bit daunting, but I promise everyone is really nice and we're all just a bunch of weird anxious beans that vibe lol.
You're more than welcome to just chat in private dms tho too. Whether it's on discord or tumblr dms, if you'd like to just chat rather than through asks, you're more than welcome to message me. I respond as quick as I can but life and lifing sometimes and can make response time slow lol.
Thank you for the kind wishes, I'm having a lovely morning so far and I hope you have a lovely day too.
Thanks for the cookies! Lollipops? :3 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
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hebimoonlightwrites ¡ 2 years ago
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Heya, could you do a yandere Itsuki x reader? Like the reader would notice Itsuki's obsessive and yandereish behavior, but the reader decides to ignore it because they keep telling themselves "It's probably Itsuki's first time in a relationship with someone", please?
Writer's corner: Heyy! Sure thing! Of course I totally could! I really hope you'll like it! I made a drabble, hope you're fine with it qwq (if not, let me know, so I can change it for you!♥). A Yandere Itsuki is.. very interesting, since he's practically described as emotionless.. haha, thank you for requesting, darl! Let me know if there's something you want me to fix or change! Enjoy~♥
mc's pronouns: GN! (THEY/THEM)
words: 1191
Warnings: YANDERE.. (Please, do not read if you're easily impressionable. Read at your risk and respectfully. I do not support violence, stalking or anything in this fic!!!)
~𝙼𝚎.. 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚣𝚢?! 𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍?!…~
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I was so happy, yn..
You have no idea what kind of happiness I felt that day when I confessed to you.. when I talked to you about my feelings, my love for you, and you actually loved me back.. That day I hugged you the more I could to prove you that, even if I was said to be emotionless, actually I did know what love was.. Did I.. right? That was love.. pure, genuine love.. that was the most appreciated (and maybe even the most hated) emotion among all the human feelings.. And you were so happy between my arms..!  You really loved me back! You told me you did love me back..! But.. Was it as much as I did..? Did you love me so much that you would have even killed someone for me..?! Did you love me so much that you killed for me just like I did for you...?!... That was what I wondered.. that was what my mind brought me to think about.. That was what my mind suggested me.. You didn't love me as much as I did..
I had to do something about it.. I had to prove you how much I loved you, how much I cared about you and about your smile.. you well-being... It was true, though, that I was very new to all these emotions, to all these trembles, these "butterflies in my stomach".. to this desire to own you only for myself.. only with me.. only for me.. forever and ever... I was new to this feeling you humans call "love".
"I love you, Itsuki..", you used to tell me each time you snuggled onto my chest while we watched some TV or I read some books. And I didn't even care if there were also Kei or Rokuta.. I hugged you back tightly, losing myself in your beautiful scent.. your shampoo, running my fingers through your soft hair.. I kissed your head.. I even used to pull you closer and to kiss you in a possessive way each time I saw someone else (even some strangers) staring at you for too much time.. These disgusting fools.. they had to understand that you were mine.. only mine.. that nobody else would have never touched you, even in the slightest!!.. You would have been mine.. you would have been the one to teach me how to love properly.. even if I felt like I was already loving you the perfect way possible and existing..!
One day I listened to one of your phone call, yn... you were speaking to one of your closest friends.. you looked confused while talking to that slut about me. I could hear you saying things like: "I don't understand.. he's behaving way too possessively.. he seems like obsessed with me..! I can't understand why.. maybe it's because ours is his first relationship?..".. Your voice sounded so adorably scared and confused.. you looked like one of those protagonists of the books I used to read!.. When they were so scared and even spoke to their friends about their own feelings, it meant that they were terribly in love.. and you proved me you were in love, even when you started crying, telling your disgusting friend that you were afraid of my behaviour, that my "possessive and obsessed" behaviour was the one which scared you the most!.. I couldn't help but stayed there, behind the kitchen's corner, listening to the echo of your tremblings and your agitated heart moving into your beautiful chest.. I sighed smiling, completely in love with you as I was.. You know, sometimes I wondered myself how you did fall for me.. because you did fall for me, right...??!.. By the way, my beloved yn, what your friend told me maybe pissed me off.. oh well, I say "maybe" because, as you know, I'm "emotionless".. I don't know how to feel emotions.. I'm apathic, rational.. "unhuman".. But the only thing I know is that what that slut said really made me feel like I could have set the whole world on fire.. like if I could have killed everyone else except for you.. like if I could have broken everything and returned to blank.. only and exclusively with you by my side, though..
"He looks weird for real.. What if he doesn't really love you but is only obsessed and crazy?.. Be careful with him, yn.."
How could that disgusting friend of yours dare to tell you those unreal things, those lies?! Me.. crazy?! Obsessed?!... Yn.. they don't know.. they cannot know me..They cannot know us and our sweet and adorable love. As you ended the call, I immediately walked over to you, my eyes burning for love.. my pale lips curved in a warm smile and my hand reach your chin only to allow me to hold you close to me while I was pressing my lips on yours. I had read and seen this kind of actions in romantical matters.. but I didn't know a kiss could have felt so damn good..! My whole body strangely trembled, as some shivers ran down my spine and my other hand reached your lower back. You looked surprised. You had just tried to dry your tears of fear and confusion.. you did it before I could kiss you. Your adorable and sparkling eyes got wider as I broke that sweet kiss. In the following minutes there were only me and you. I asked you who you were talking to and you didn't hesitate to answer my question.. How sweet..! You were so honest.. so pure.. so cute.. so lovely... You looked like you had decided to ignore what that fool of your friend had told you about me.. and I was glad.. 
...but I couldn't allow them having another chance to tell shit about me and my love for you..
----
"Breaking news: A young person has been found murdered on the floor of their small apartment, their hair completely stripped from their head and their whole body full of cuts, probably did by using a knife.. The police said that the whole body has been identified as (your friend's name) and that it has been found almost entirely except for their heart.. The murderer apparently has ripped it. It's a despair to all the friends and relatives of the victim.. This morning they all have discovered about it and one of the victim's closest friend is here with us.. yn."
I smirked softly while sitting on the sofa, holding a cup of coffee. I looked satisfied as a shiver ran through my back when I saw your tears on the TV.. Yn.. My mind turned to focus on the stinky smell of that disgusting heart of your friend, which I had burned before coming back home. 
"I have to take a shower before my love comes here~", I said, standing up and reaching the bathroom, leaving behind my back the most beautiful smell.. roses (which I bought for you) and love... pure love I had learned to feel thanks to you and that I would have never forgotten to feel for you...
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Šhebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.
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questioned-quetzalcoatl ¡ 2 years ago
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Take My Breath Away
Rating: K
Pairing: New Zealand/Tonga
Characters: New Zealand, Tonga
Variation: Canon
Summary: New Zealand insists he invites Tonga over to his place for New Years again so he can show off his firework display, to which they more or less reluctantly agree too. 
AN: I missed a Christmas fic this year so I’m making up for it with some fluffy Zeaonga for New Years because gah I’m in love with them all over again. I can’t help it. I miss/love them so much qwq. Hope u enjoy it !! Happy New Years everyone <3
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“Why do you insist on dragging me to these kinds of events?” 
It’d seemed they’d been questioning his motivites the whole way up there, following the personification of New Zealand as the other dragged a 2 liter Cooling bin behind him like it was nothing. Though Kainga could be less surprised, that man had unfathomable amounts of strength in him, reasoning with the fact that James thought with pure muscle and his fists rather than his actual head. Kainga was certain even if he did use what little he had in his head, they’d all be completely doomed.
Still, that thing probably weighed at least a ton with the beers and snacks stashed inside it like a hoard. 
“Cuz I love a good fireworks display, and got the best in the pacific!”
“I severely doubt that.” Kainga raised an eyebrow at him, making James roll his eyes amidst the darkness. The only light softly peeking over the top of the grassy hill, flickers of different colors and shades that made the shadows of the grass dance and flicker. The sign of life on the other side. A city aglow with bright lights that came into view, blinding them with the contrast of the darker hill, Kainga’s hands gently lifting up in front of their face to block some of it out. Even making them feel a little dizzy, until James laughed.
“Well quit yer complainin’, Kai-boob, we’re here!”
“I-I wasn’t complaining!” Kainga protested, unraveling the picnic mat stashed under their arm when James had more or less crashed the Cooling Bin to the ground. Their face scrunched up a little at what sounded like glass breaking inside of it, “If that’s the sound of my beer smashing in there Mr New Zealand I swear to god that I’ll use bin to hide chunks of your body-”
The silence and the quiver from James sent Kainga into loud snorts of laughter as if that threat actually had some impact on the Kiwi, perhaps just the mental image of it all. 
“You’ll have a job gettin’ every piece of me in there-”
“Relax honey,” They cut James off as they sat beside him, leaning over to give him a soft kiss to his lips. “I was just joking. I’ll peg you instead~”
“EXCUSE ME?!”
Kainga laughed, choking on their own air that inhaled into their lungs as the paler James’s face got. Resting their head under his hairy chin, followed by a snicker of pure enlightenment at his reaction to the sheer thought of it. “I mean the offer is there, if you do it I’ll wear nothing more but your rugby jersey for the rest of the week.”
James stalled a bit on the offer. Chewing the inside of his cheeks as if James ‘-can-not-be-topped’  Hunter was considering the thought rather deeply until he spoke out. “Let’s just see if that beer is smashed or not, yeah?”
Wrapped in an old and worn blanket that had seen better days, Kainga sat in a soft silence stretched for an eternity or two, as they watched the bustling city below him. People walking about, the sound of happy drunks to be heard wherever you went. The stars bright and twinkling with kindness and wonder, mysteries that had him up all night trying to figure them out. Memories, faded like that of an old sepia photograph, rushed through them all at once. 
For once, just in that moment. He felt himself slowly falling back in love with New Zealand.
The gentle kisses he’d place on their cheek, just so he could watch them flush a pastel pink and whaft his face away with flicks of their wrist. Only for James to bring them in closer to him, his heart and all the love he had to give to the Tongan he was cuddled up with. The way he’d gently brush against them, hooking a finger and pushing their scarf down to reveal their neck and kiss further down his lover. Not caring how much they shifted or squirmed when he did so.
When they looked up at him, James could yell to the moon. Their gaze, eyes full of mirth and love, tender and precious. The kind of look you saw in someone when you knew they were truly, irrefutably in love. The kind of look that hinted towards stories untold and as mysterious as the stars up above.
Just like that, James’s breath was gone. 
Swept away like dew on the morning grass against the breeze of the callings of mid-afternoon. No other on this earth could make him act the way he does when the Tongan looks at him like that. No other on this earth could make him feel as nervous around them, even when he went to go get the cheapy five dollar champagne for the both of them, that look they gave him. He took a photograph in his mind, stuck it up on his board of memories. 
Kainga continued to watch as people walked about, some racing with a bottle or two of beer or wine, others walking with friends and singing, terribly in their drunken state but no doubt having the time of their lives. Couples walking back and laughing together. Families going to the park just in the nick of time to watch the fireworks display in a few minutes. Up here, they felt on top of the world.
Behind them, the sound of gentle and quiet footsteps padding up along the grass towards them resounded. Before a flute of champagne appeared, held between large calloused, scarred fingers. Kainga turned to regard the owner of the hand, finding a man who’d returned that same look they gave him not too long ago, coupled with a dopey and tender smile spread across his face
“Aren’t you cold?” They asked, accepting the drink and taking a sip. 
“A lil, the cold bugs me more than anything. If only I had a lil Tongan lover to take me in their arms and hold and kiss me until I’m all warm and cozy~”
Kainga rolled their eyes again before moving over on the picnic blanket and opening out their arms for him with a soft; “Come here you big baby.”
The two of them sat there, sipping five dollar cheap champagne that was in one hand, the rest of their limbs tangled together in a loving embrace to try and stay warm. This time it was Kainga’s turn to start kissing all over James’s face, occasionally getting pricked by the hairs of his stubble and ‘beard’ as James called it, though it was more dark peach fuzz than anything else. And it didn’t taste good at all.
Minutes tickled by and the gusts of wind brought them together even closer, Kainga shivered under the blanket and shuffled closer to try and absorb more of the kiwis' warmth. As much as they could at least. They couldn’t tell you when the two of them were under his blanket, leaning against each other as they watched the stars up above. By the time it had happened, Kainga had finished his Champaign and James was about half way there.
“Did you enjoy that huh?” James chuckled as Kainga swirled the remaining champaign foam at the bottom of their glass with a thoughtful hum.
“Maybe” Kainga decided to reply, averting their eyes away and looking away to hide the blush across their face and the smile blooming on their lips. “Would have preferred tea, to be honest.”
“Is this you subtly asking to make you tea?”
“No.” Kainga parroted a smile at him. “This is me telling you to.”
A snicker left the Tongans lips as James seemed confused, surprised above all. “Where on earth am I going to make you tea? Kai we’re on top of a hill!?” “I’m aware, what happened to you ‘having your ways’ hm? You never seem to have a way whenever I want anything from you-”
James leaned in, his forehead resting on Kainga’s head with a kiss placed to his cheek once more. A goofy punch-drunk love kind of smile lighting up his face with the warmth of a thousand suns.
“Oh really?”
“Mhmmm~”
James chuckled softly, the sound like warm honey on Kainga’s skin. Making them shiver slightly just at the feel of it. James’s breath tickled their ear, only then did they realize that the older man beside them was leaning in for a kiss. That sly fox and his tricks.
The result was a flick to the nose and a chortle from the other whom he’d tried to snog on New Years night.
“Are ya laughin’ at me?”
“Noooo….” 
James’s smile broadened as he tried to kiss Kainga for a second time, his stubbornness and impatience at Kainga’s constant refusal of a kiss caused James to shove them down onto the mat. Kainga now below James in a heavy fluster. Kainga moved away, side-eyeing the man before giving him a glare that could rival the sun. Whatever reaction the kiwi was hoping to get, didn’t occur as James struggled to keep himself from laughing. The feeling bubbling up inside of him like the champagne they drank.
In no time, Kainga’s face was as red as the sweater they were wearing. Lost for breath as their heart tried to tattoo itself on the back of their ribs. Once James had stopped putting up a pout with them, whining pathetically at the lack of any lip to lip contact, Kainga had regained their breath, they wrapped their arms around James’s broad shoulders and muffled the yelp escaping the kiwis lips as he was pulled down back onto the mat for a long and heavy chaste kiss. Though the status of that soon changed, with James’s hands, as rough as the mountains on his lands, slipped up Kainga’s thigh. Causing them to pull away with a gasp. The streets down below with the drunks singing the night away and the families watching the stars and counting down for the fireworks over Auckland city.
They went off, an explosion of colors lighting up the sky. Blooming like sky flowers that glittered and cried out.
James leaned up and out of the kiss, out of breath with a healthy blush dusting his cheeks. He looked down towards Kainga with that same look his father wore whenever he spoke of his mother, with warmth like that of a fire and mirth for the love of his life.
“Happy New Years.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss Kainga once more. Both of their breaths swept back and combined into one once again.
They couldn’t help themself as they fell irrefutably in love with James all over again in that moment.
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the-kings-of-games ¡ 2 years ago
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Hello, Flame! It sure is a funny coincidence that I clicked follow along with several others who happen to not be bots, but anyways, it's nice to meet you and follow your blog!
I've actually come across several of your fics on Ao3 before getting into tumblr, and I quite like them; the style is one of those where the choice of words says volumes more than a larger wordcount ever could. It's a breath of fresh air compared to what I usually read, and I find that pretty neat. You also seem to actually know of the card game, and yeesh, there's so few people in this place who do.
I'm kind of a new face here, and more of an ARC-V/Card lore fan who will occasionally post essays (and doodles and fics, eventually) about the aforementioned topics, but I do like to talk about the other series sometimes as well. It's part of why I'm glad to have found you around these parts, haha.
All in all, well met! Have a good day/night.
Hi, @pinkprimrose05!! Nice to see you in my inbox again.
And you came across my fics on Ao3 before getting on Tumblr?? :O No wonder your username seems so familiar!!!! I hope I remember you right because you're one of the my very few regulars who also commented on my stuff. :D You even read my obscure shit too, omgs, and that's hilarious to say because I main obscure/rarepair hell. What a neighbor—you're a gift that keeps on giving. QwQ I write my fics for you (and, like, the five other guys who come around, lololololol). That whole middle paragraph really be doing be good. QAQ (I'm breaking down now, I'm an emotional.) Now I'm curious as to who other people's fics read—I really don't know at this point; I've driven myself into a corner because it's been a pretty long time since I've read other fics because all I want is Kizuna and only me and my friend Schatten provide. xD
I have no idea where you get the impression that I know TCG. OwO I just collect pretty cards and obsess over Blackwings. But you know, let's make all the TCGbros mad—I do know TCG, you're right, and I refuse to do it right. U_U But in all honesty, Tumblr YGO fandom is mainly into the anime, and we know how they break their own rules regarding TCG, lmao. Additionally, writing duels and/or breaking down is pretty difficult; if you're getting into TCG irl, it can get pretty expensive too in order to make your deck competitive. Konami purposefully print cards exclusively, and the card market is pretty hard to keep up with if you don't know meta (which includes learning meta) or understand the general vibe among collectors. =_= Please, I just want to show you my Blackwings. I have no idea what they do, they just like to hangout together. This is a hostage situation.
And yes, you are a new face here. Where's this wave of new users coming from? It's an infestation up here. /J Maining Arc-V is questionable—kidding! (Or am I? owo) And oh! essays and fic and doodle! I hope to see them soon! Re-educate me on Arc-V and/or card lore. (Oooh, if you like TCG and dragons AND you write, you should consider applying to the Dragon's Den zine (@aygozineproduction). 030) And omgs, you did it again!—I'm glad you're here too. QQWQQ
Regarding your reply from earlier, yes, @saltiestcoconut and I are friends! They're one of the first I made getting into YGO fandom, and I'm glad to say we're still friends to this day. ^^
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pixies-and-poets ¡ 2 years ago
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I loved thefirst chapter, you have such a nice writing style and nothing feels like it's compltley out-of-character/universe.
Random thing to bring up, but......hearing about the spark hunters being elusive and possibly even seperated makes me feel sad for some reason :(. It feels like when a friendgroup splits apart and no matter how hard you try you can't get into contact with them ever again.......might just be me projecting though qwq
Aww thank you!! Yeah, keeping everyone as in-character as possible is important to me, although I'm not averse to incorporating various fanon-izations to fill in the blanks; Woodrow is pretty easy in that regard because I can easily write someone who's awkward and depressed lmao... but it's actually been a healthy challenge for me to write for Phantom, since it's harder for me to get into the headspace of someone who's pompous and full of himself (even with his vocal woes) and quite the charmer, but I'm getting there and I still have plenty of time to revise before he makes his grand entrance :D Nah, that's totally the vibe I wanted to give off actually. Just incorporating my headcanon that after SoH, Edge tries to track the others down, but it takes a while since they are trying to find their own place in the galaxy and are anxious to confront her immediately after everything that's happened. It won't really factor into this fic, I just wanted to throw out a little flavor of other stuff that's going on at the time and show that the wardens and the heroes are still in contact now. It's for sure a bit sad, but don't worry, she'll find them! She's Edge after all!
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illdothehotvoice ¡ 2 years ago
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Woah! @noelledeltarune​ tagged me in this post! I don’t really like adding onto posts like that though to prevent cluttering people’s dash’s so I made my own instead hope that’s okay qwq.
currently reading: Ouuugh idk I don’t read much. Probably some submas fic I haven’t touched in a while dshjgknfh
favorite color: Pastel pink! I have. a LOT of pin stuff dhjgkfh
last song: My friends and I are actually listening to a Guess the Vocaloid song video rn lmao
last movie: Eternal Sunshine. It was my second time watching it but this time it was for school lol. It’s a cool movie but there are a lot of elements in it I don’t like lmao dsjhgkdfh
sweet/spicy/savory:  Sweet! Sweet! Yummy yummy
currently working on: I’m working on a LOT of things! I have some stuff I’m doing for school, a submas video rn,  but I’m also working on a watercolor painting for a certain games’ anniversary this month 👀👀👀
The original post said to tag 9 people but uuuuh. Mutuals if you wanna do this feel free ^^
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zykamiliah ¡ 2 years ago
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Tag 10 (ish) people you want to get to know better!
thank you @rippedorigami for the tag ❤️
anyway let's try to answer this. god.
relationship status: single and be glad I am
favorite color: i like a lot of colors. purple, lavender, black, some shades of red.
favorite food: it depends on the day but I'm addicted to soft peanut nougat. I'm told peanut helps you increase your serotonin levels so maybe that's the reason
song stuck in my head: ... you know sometimes i feel like an old radio and lyrics from a song I heard 15 years ago pop out of me like I'm a movie's soundtrack. but currently the song I've listened to the most *checks music player* it's Run by OneRepublic
time: 10:25 pm
dream trip: I wanna go everywheeeeeereeee. I've been stuck in my country my whole life qwq
last book i read: like, a book I actually finished? In that case it'd be the danmei novel Who Dares Slander my Senior Brother by Guyu Smells Incense. Now for a more serious book, I was reading Helen Fisher's Anatomy of Love.
last book i enjoyed reading: ... why are you making all this hard questions?? What I read the most are fics, okay!? (ノ`◇´)ノ~┻━┻ /jk ...Captive Prince by C. S. Pacat. It was my third reread.
last book i hated reading: I don't read books I hate bc I get mad every five minutes so for my own mental stability I just stop.
bonus:
favorite food to cook/bake: Cake, bread, fried rice. Hmm I'm not particularly into cooking, but I do enjoy cooking for the people I like/love.
favorite craft to do in free time: bracelet knitting... wow I just realize I haven't done it in a while.
most niche dislike: nothing comes to mind right now? Really who made this questions, they're hard to answer q-q
opinion(s) on circuses? currently uninterested
do you have a sense of direction? it depends on the day. when i get lost I panic so most of the time id i don't where I am I check the map
no pressure tagging (feel free to ignore it you don't want to answer!):
@mitchievousness @fafaspace @tyalangand
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dantespilled ¡ 3 years ago
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Hey, an owner of this blog. Feel free to call me Pan, you don’t have to use ‘yum’ since it is just an addition.
Blog is a full of mess so try to think again when you want to follow me. Usually reblogs aesthetics, arts, fics, photography, and quotes. 
I do art too sometimes (more like always since I try to draw everyday to get rid out of my boredom and to have something to look forward). Usually tries to show some wips if I feel like it or is insane with what I’m drawing at the moment. I’m kind of slow with art so bear with me. I always try to compile arts then fully post them into my blog. A multifandom enjoyer, but is mostly into FGO because of a certain character (Edmond Dantès).
Also rambles about my own stuffs, specifically my canon/oc pairing (Dantès/Ayako). Like AUs, lore, or their relationship and more.
English isn’t my native language. So there might be some grammar mistakes or confusion might be created (and misunderstandings, so please elaborate better qwq).
Askbox is forever open, so feel free to slide in. I will try to answer them once I got the asks. Please, don’t be weird in the inbox. Especially, when I don’t even know you.
Please, refrain from tagging me on things that don’t relate to me or even spam tag me. And try not to thinking of getting real close to me, I have no intention on making more friends to avoid more dramas and getting more ptsd. I don’t mind if you only wish to have some convos about certain things, but please do not bring anything else that do not get out of topic or my interest. No info dumping when I’m not asking for it. Especially when you’re not even interested in my stuffs, why should I listen then?
Art tag: panyum art
Where to support me and more social medias:
Ko-fi:  https://ko-fi.com/panyum
Twitter: https://twitter.com/idontlikebreadd
Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/panyum
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/idontlikebreaddd/
Discord: who#6642 (PLS only add if you’re actually willing to talk to me and wanting to be the first one to approach because I’m bad at socializing. Also discord is usually used for commissions purposes. Don’t try to invite me to groups, I might feel bad for not interacting with people there)
Pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/28287473
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i-am-beckyu ¡ 2 years ago
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MORE ASKS YOU SAY???? i can do that >:)
2, do you read/reread your own fics?
5, what's a fic idea you've had but will never write?
8, what project(s) are you currently working on?
11, do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
14, if you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
16, at what point in the process do you come up with titles?
23, how do you choose where to end a chapter?
27, is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? why?
30, what's your favorite word?
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! QWQ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
2, do you read/reread your own fics?
Sometimes. Mostly Jornos to get back into it again but its rare. And when I do, I realise that they're waaaaaaay better than I thought lol. Treat spiders the way you want to be treated was actually a surprise to me. I didn't think it was very good but was pleasantly surprised.
5, what's a fic idea you've had but will never write?
Okay. So this is kind of a fic idea for a fic that's not mine.
It's actually this idea for awesome-slime-lover we're family au where Tommy is a borrower adopted by royal sbi that don't really want him. And they have actually written a part 2 but I had this idea where it could time skip and basically sbi have come to accept tinies finally, unknowingly though because they take all their hate out on Tommy. And Tommy just tries to push through and be the perfect child, despite knowing he'll never be accepted. And basically something happens were sbi are called away and Tommy manages to be put in charge of the harvest, which has been terrible for years and actually improves it, yeilding the best crops in decades. Of course when sbi return they don't know it was tommy and wanna know who did such an amazing job, and when Tommy tries to tell them, they basically laugh in his face and ya know, put him down etc etc. And it continues on with guilty sbi, tommy getting kidnapped by the enemy as a revenge act or something and sbi saving him. I have literally imagined full blown scenes in my head but will never write it purely because its not my fic
8, what project(s) are you currently working on?
Mood board for the fic I'm working on here <3 I'll let it do the talikng ^v^
11, do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
Yes and no. I have a general playlist for writing which is my playlist for like everything, but when I'm writing something with a certain mood, I look up random playlists for that mood. (your serenity playlist has been played whilst writing jornos a many a times lol)
14, if you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
OooO thats a hard one. Hmmmmmmm Either My monster to slay or that fic I haven't posted yet (the very first one I started writing). I think either of those would be really cool to see as a movie!
16, at what point in the process do you come up with titles?
already answered this one <3
23, how do you choose where to end a chapter?
Mmmmm I kinda just look at how long the chapter is, where a scene is and where the next scene starts and usually have a scene change a signal to the end of a chapter with a heavy hitting line. I love it when the last line hits hard. Sticks in the mind better :3
27, is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? why?
Probably that first fic. It's the first fic I tried writing after 5 years of no writing so I feel I've improved a lot since getting back into it, and I really really love it! Yet I don't wanna change it if I have to ya know? It's kind of my baby now lol.
30, what's your favorite word?
Meraki. It's a word I actually thought I'd made up as a kid but as google told me it actually means this:
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It has since become my favourite word <3
THANK YOU THANK YOU BRICKKKKKKKKKK! Really means a lot!!! <3
Ask game here :3
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scalpel-mom-mori ¡ 2 years ago
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❌ and 🤲?
Oo ty quinn <3
❌- one troupe you'll never write
There's actually a few lolololol, but omegaverse for sure qwq like for starters, it tends to be a smut/romance troupe, but I also just don't like the inherent like,,, breeding thing, and also the really strict dom/sub dynamic,,,,,
🤲- Snippet?
“Go. Your mama will feel better when she sees you in good health.”
“Do you know what you are asking of me, Feiyun?” Morax asked as the child scampered off.
“I do not,” she said, “but I will pay whatever the price of their survival is, even if it is my own life.”
He frowned down at her, still on the ground. “Do you think me cruel, [redacted for spoiler reasons]?” he asked.
She didn’t look at him. “You aren’t very kind, Morax,” she replied softly in a wavering voice. “But I will not entrust my people to Osial and Beisht. Of all the gods who may win this war, you are the one with the most potential for kindness.”
“How cold of you,” he said. “And here you are asking a favor of me.”
So my mid-autumn fic is sprialling way out of its original scope,,,,,
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skyc47su ¡ 2 years ago
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Hehe you’re so sweet! Congrats on the recent graduation!! ^^ I actually just started writing my own TF2 Mer series, along with starting the first TF2 fic series on my blog! But thanks to your stuff it definitely gave me a burst of inspiration writing and drawing wise! Maybe I will actually start trying to draw people hhhhh ;3; baby steps! Anyhow, have some congratulations emojis and a thanks for being awesome 😎 🥳🎉🎊
Baby steps indeed, godspeed on your fic! QwQ
If ever, it's really fun doodling small snippets from what you write~
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masterhandss ¡ 3 years ago
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How would you describe the original Katarina’s personality?
Hmm, that's kinda hard to answer. I feel like I've read so much FL!Katarina fanfics that i'd be combining canon and fanon interpretations of her haha.
(I'll be calling Hamefura Katarina "Bakarina" and Fortune Lover Katarina "Catarina" so I don't have to write FL!Katarina lmao)
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There's not really a lot we know about the Fortune Lover version of the characters except for the surface level stuff. People have come up with their own explanations and extensions to those incarnations of the cast based on what little we know, creating interpretations based on our own suspicions and understanding of the life they could have lived if Bakarina had never bumped her head.
Bakarina described herself as a spoiled, prideful and selfish wealthy lady. She is far too spoiled, to the point where her selfishness causes problems for others. She is catty and brat. She was raised like a princess during her childhood, which made her haughty, but is nonetheless well-mannered is aware of her station (probably not as perfect as Mary's, but is still prim and proper). Since she is so used to the spotlight being on herself, she bullied Keith who was a threat to her position and because of the influence of her dejected mother, Miri. She doesn't care about anybody who isn't on her radar (people like Alan and Mary, who even her own fiance is indifferent towards) but will visibly act hostile to people she does not like (people who either not of noble birth or those who don't deserve to be, like Maria and Sophia).
Being the haughty daughter of a duke, she has high regards towards the importance of ranks in high society, making her hate Maria the commoner. She would belittle and put her down at every opportunity she can get, in order to make sure that Maria does not forget her status as a commoner even as she continues to stay in the academy and interact with their peers. Her feelings of disgust and betrayal over being on equal grounds with a commoner in the academy, as well as being surpassed by her magically and academically, leads Catarina to bully and harass her to an extreme degree to destroy her self-esteem and eventually make her leave the academy entirely.
In Fortune Lover 2, she returns as a villain who is intent on making Maria pay for her downfall. It shows that she isn't remorseful, and still thinks that she had done nothing wrong. At this point, Catarina goes from a selfish and spoiled brat duchess to a vengeful (and kinda murderous) villainess.
That's kinda all that I got from skimming Volume 1 or the light novels at the moment; I'm sure there are still some insight on what Catarina was like in the other books, besides what we know of her relationships with the other volumes.
While Verge of Doom in mind, we see that Catarina's overconfidence in herself can become a positive as well. She is so sure of herself that she declared anyone by her side is excellent and worthy to a degree, which had helped Sienna feel comfortable being in the academy. Katarina always has her chin up high, even though she is intellectually and magically weak, because her upbringing has made her feel like she is naturally leagues above everyone due to her status.
Catarina is just your typical surface-level villainess character, who is prideful, selfish and mean to other people who isn't in her circle. That's pretty much it to be honest.
Anything beyond this is pretty much laced with analysis and interpretation. One of the reasons why I really like reading FL-verse fics is the different ways they interpret the personalities and motivations of the characters with the little amount of history that we know of. Some of it are pure interpretation, while some of them are good extensions to the stuff we already knew.
Since Catarina is implied to not being good at reading the room, it'd be no surprise to imagine that her growing love for Prince Geordo is the outcome of not being able to read beyond his princely facade, thinking that he genuinely is returning the feelings rather than just being polite since that is expected of him. She lives in this perfect world where everything is made for her, and anyone who threatens it or disturbs it is worthy of her malice.
Some interpretations of Catarina say that she never bothered to try academically because of her status, since she's a prince's fiancee and a duke's daughter, she already has everything so there's nothing she would gain from a good grade. She had probably used her time socializing and growing her circle of followers rather than reading and studying. Since Catarina and Bakarina share the same soul, some would say that maybe she is airheaded and socially dense as well which is why she can't tell that other people dislike her (and even if she did know, depending on who they are she'd be so full of herself that she wouldn't care). Some have said that her physical abuse towards Keith as a child is more than just arrogance about wanting to keep the spotlight on herself and rejecting the idea of having a brother, but a reaction towards feeling threatened and (initially) scared rather than pure jealousy and anger. Some have even made her an accidental seductress who is unknowingly using her charm, wealth and arrogance to gather people to her side. Miridiana from what we know is an insecure person growing up due to her face, so some people have said that Catarina's arrogance is encouraged by Miri, if it helps her be more confident in herself as a duchess, and that in her eyes Catarina had grown into a perfect noblewoman.
Whenever fic writers try to draw lines between Catarina and Bakarina makes me happy actually :DD I love the idea that two have some similar quirks in the same way Aachan and Sophia does. It's so fun when writers make Catarina dumb in the way Bakarina is, while still maintaining her air of arrogance and poise.
It really makes me wish we could have seen more of Catarina in Verge of Doom. Like, have more flashbacks to Catarina's original personality, or have more scenarios where she is forced to act like her villainous self in order to get through a situation. At this point even the main story has more instances of this qwq. I mean it's really good that VOD gives a more remorseful Katarina, and it is interesting to see Catarina and Bakarina react to situations in the exact opposite ways, but one can dream, ya know?
Catarina is as simple of a villainess as one can get, but it's nice to see people try to give more history, detail and nuance to that villainy. It's fun to see it in fanfics, but let's not forget that she's a simple character in canon.
There's still so much I could say, but it's been so long since i've read a hamefura fanfiction so my stock knowledge is dried out lmao. I'm not a writer, so I can only really describe what I remember from reading Fortune Lover-verse fics. I really like them, even if they can be out of character and too different from the source material at times.
If anyone wants to add with more details about Catarina, or their own interpretations of her character, that would be awesome! :DD
Thank you for the ask :DD
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