#my outline is currently only up to day 13 and it’s 11 pages long

[destiel-more-like-im-dead-again]

Guess who’s doing whumptober

[fazedlight]

20 questions game

Thank you @sssammich for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Eight

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

Currently it's 123,510 words! It felt really cool to pass the 100k mark.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supercorp

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No One and Nothing

So I Kept Pretending

Synthesis

It's a Metallo Life

Even Though You're Kryptonian

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I respond to most of them now, because I like talking with my readers! I didn't do that at first... I was nervous that I might appear too desperate or something if I responded to everyone, but now I don't care 🤣 I love my readers and want them to know I see them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

For now, I think that title belongs to Darkness in All Things. I wouldn't call it an angsty ending necessarily, but it's a bit more somber than most of my endings.

I think one of my one-shot WIPs may take this title (though I don't expect to finish it until early next year).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my fics count as happy endings! The happiest might be Even Though You're Kryptonian, since our beloved idiots are preparing for their nuptials.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a few from a known troll, but generally no. This fandom has been very kind 💗

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I wrote smut once, for Darkness in All Things. There's another fic I'm writing smut for, although it's not supercorp.

In general, writing smut terrifies me. I only did it in DIAT because the characters held that chapter hostage until I did, and now the characters for this other fic are as well. I am being bullied 😭

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay... so... technically I have.

When I was young (10-ish?), I read some Sailor Moon fanfiction. I stumbled across this Sailor Moon & Xena crossover, and was frustrated that it had one chapter left and hadn't seen an update in a long time (I don't remember what a "long time" would've been to me back then).

I reached out to the author and asked about it, and the author gave me the chance to finish it based on their outline. So... I did, and they posted it!

I don't know how "well" it did. I think this was on ff.net in the very early days, so there were no kudos, and I don't think I ever got a comment about it.

I'd love to find that again, but haven't been able to. I remember nothing about it other than Rei was extremely snarky. I stopped reading Sailor Moon fanfic soon after, and generally didn't read fanfiction again until my 2021 obsession with Rizzles began.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Technically yes, see #10.

I don't think I'll do it again. I'm far too chaotic in my writing approach, and far too possessive of my stories, to effectively cowrite with someone 🤣

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Xena/Gabrielle!! They were my first ship. I never read fic of them (other than the Sailor Moon crossover I mentioned above, since I did read a lot of Sailor Moon fic). For me, their story was perfect, and the show gave us everything I could ever want.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't think I have any of these at the moment. And I'd never say never anyway, you never know what a brain will latch onto.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I have some good plot ideas and decent characterization. But ultimately this question is up to the readers, not me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my greatest weakness is not letting a scene evolve - I'm impatient by nature. I think this is something I'm slowly getting better at, in that my first fics are far less developed compared to my most recent fics.

But there's always a gap from the scene that's in my head vs. what ultimately makes it to the page. Sometimes I don't know if I've written enough for the readers to know what the characters are feeling and doing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Oh I'd get lots of help here.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Xena and Sailor Moon in a crossover 🤣 That was a single chapter for someone else's story with someone else's outline over two decades ago. So I think saying Supercorp is still accurate.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh gosh, it's hard to choose. I think I have a recency bias thing here where I want to say Darkness in All Things. I do think my writing style has improved greatly over time, so I think my stories have gotten better in that sense.

No pressure tags! @luthordamnvers @rustingcat @jadedloverart @tinyvariations @trashpandato @appropriatelystupid

[dancer-me]

Fic Writer Questions

@hopeintheashes tagged me (that was pleasantly surprising, so YAY) as well as anyone who wants to play (so if you want do - just do it!!!) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have nine!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

106,461! I broke 100,000 on AO3 and didn't notice =O

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

For posted fanfiction, I have written for 5 fandoms at this point. Naruto (this was my early days, around 2007 to 2015, with pretty huge gaps inbetwen), Merlin (oops), High Seas (just the one small fic because Netflix had me angsting hard enough to break my hiatus), and of course 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Express to Nowhere (911 / 911 Lone Star) 2. Giving up Ground (911 / 911 Lone Star) 3. Quarter Life Crisis (911) 4. Pull me Under (911) 5. Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You (911)

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hesitate to say this about a WIP but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Giving up Ground when it's done. Not that it's going to have a sad ending, but that it's part of a continuous series and I already have the next part planned out and partially started (titled "Overdrawn" for anyone interested) so it will leave things feeling hopeful but open-ended, which can be construed as angsty. But really, all my other stories, while they have angst for the most part, have happy endings because I'm a sucker for it. Chaotic Energy is slow burning itself to the happiest of endings.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... I think it's Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You! This story was just such a fun blast of drama, hijinks, and hilarity, with our two leads getting their love story at the end of it all :) All my completed works have very happy endings, but this one resonates because there really wasn't any angst at all in the whole thing. Just good fun!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only cross-over I have ever written or been compelled to write in my life has been with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, and that's my Chaotic Energy series. I don't know if it's "crazy", though it's turning out to be crazy long, since my original plan for it was 5 separate one-shots and Captain, that ship has long since sailed. We're deep at sea now, SOS. I love what it's become, though, and I hope everyone who reads it is enjoying the journey :)

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Weeeeeeeeell. Here's the thing. I wrote m/f smut back in the day, on ff.net and carried my one shots over to AO3 when I made the move. I'm talking way back in the day - those two "E" stories are dated 2015 but I actually originally posted them in 2011 - TEN years ago!! I haven't written smut since (I'm not counting TK and Carlos getting frisky in chapter 2 of Giving up Ground). It's not that I wouldn't, but that I haven't been inspired and with time somehow I have also become ragingly self-conscious over whether I could still do a good job. My smut has always been emotion based though, as I've never been able to truly go PWP. That said, I'm actively open to and considering some m/m smut for my current fandom. Fingers crossed I don't embarrass myself.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do on all my recent work on AO3 (basically my 9-1-1 and lone star fics that I've written since coming out of hiatus).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on any of my AO3 work, though I have received hate on my much older work on ff.net to varying degrees of reasonability. So far the AO3 community has been very kind to me! I’ll get some comments where I think readers had hoped I’d go in a different direction, but nothing has ever been too much.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but also no, stop, don’t do that.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! I wrote my first ever published fic for Naruto called “Stand Alone” back between 2007 and 2011 (took a couple years off in the middle there to, you know, finish high school…) that someone asked me if they could translate into Russian. At the time I thought that was super cool, and it still is, but now I look back at that story and I think oof, now we can cringe at it in multiple languages. (more on that later)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m not opposed to it! I’ve seen some excellent fic partnerships and it’s so great seeing writers leverage the creativity and talents of their friends and peers.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Y’know, before 9-1-1, it was Merlin x Arthur, but Buck x Eddie have 110% of my heart and attention now.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

On the topic of Merlin… I started writing “The Quest for the Knife” back in 2015 at the peak of my Merlin fixation after painstakingly planning it out. I have pages upon pages of outlines and notes for a 14 chapter adventure… somewhere. I found a piece of it like an archeological dig when I was moving this pandemic season, but the rest seems lost to time. I’m sad because I had gotten so excited about it and loved my first two chapters, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish it. I might take it down so I can stop wallowing in guilt.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write good action / adventure scenes and plot lines, because I love painting vivid pictures of what I see playing out in my head whenever I think through my stories. I like to incorporate subtle (and not so subtle) humour as well in my work, which is born from my very active internal narrator voice as I go through my day-to-day and try to find the humour in everything. I also like to make outlines before all my bigger stories too, which ‘usually’ means I avoid cringey plot holes and can make some fun connections.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

*looks at the camera very seriously* writing convincing smut. Well, that, and the kind of emotional, flirty love and fluff that I love devouring in fics. I don’t think I do nearly as good a job there. Get in a character’s head and angst them up? Sure. Wax poetic in a convincing and not jarring way about how much Character A is in love with Character B without making it seem like it was a bit too much of a leap? Debatable.

Also… I tend to require my readers to suspend a lot of disbelief to enjoy my fics with elements of adventure, because I tend to do exactly 5 minutes of Google research for something before I decide I’ve had enough and go ahead.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Here we revisit the cringe of “Stand Alone,” where I tried in the first half (the 2007 portion) to incorporate Japanese since I watched the anime in Japanese and felt this was the best way to try and have the character’s voices come off the page. It… is really just a big ol’ cringe, because I didn’t know the language, and I definitely didn’t use suffixes right at ALL. So… I tend to avoid it personally because I don’t want to cringe at how wrong my use of other languages is.

But if it fits you, your story, fits your character, and you know the language confidently enough to not embarrass yourself? You do you *carefully side steps around discourse and leaves the room*

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it has to be “Express to Nowhere” these days. It was wanting to write that fic that pulled me out of hiatus and helped me find joy in writing and sharing my work again, and I have nothing but love for it and how it turned out.

Holy Cow I was warned that this level of introspection was going to take a minute but whew this was a good chunk of time. Fun to do and think about though!

Tagging: @221bsunsettowers, @onelonelytortillachip, @blueeyedbuckley and anyone who sees this and thinks, "hey, I have an answer for these questions." Because I am madly curious and would love to see your take!

[birlcholtz]

Fic Questions

tagged by @the-lincyclopedia thank you!! (fun game: watch my writing get progressively less formal as the post continues. by the end it’s like what is capitalization)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

77!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

434,378 as of this week but it does go up quite regularly

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Okay so in terms of what’s on my AO3, I have Check Please, All For the Game, Sharp Zero, HP, and Miraculous Ladybug. I also have The Forbidden LOTR and PJO Fanfiction (as in, I’ve written it, but it’s never seeing the light of day)

(technically there is a PJO fic out there that has seen the light of day but I orphaned it because I was tired of getting comments asking about when it would be updated)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

and then i met you (and the whole world changed)

for the better

Knew It Was You

come home (to you, to us)

sin bin schematics

All of these are Check Please and all of them except Knew It Was You are part of my Zimbits Airport AU!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! It’s actually a very recent thing that I’ve started not responding to literally every single comment. Mainly I respond because I love talking about my writing so I am going to seize that opportunity when it comes up

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, DEFINITELY Happy Birthday (HP). Check out that MCD tag ahah. (I say HP but what I really mean is that I write fic about Regulus Black. The Regulus Black-centric tag is my home in the HP fandom)

fun fact: this is a very short fic that I wrote when I was 15 and basically forgot about until recently, and then I reread it recently and went holy shit?? I pulled NO punches????

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the wildest one you’ve written?

Not a ton? I think a lot of the fandoms I write for don’t really mesh that well. That being said, the aforementioned orphaned PJO fic is actually a PJO/ML crossover, so there’s that

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! Sometimes I get comments that are just.... really confusing? And a more common thing is that in my AFTG fic I’ll get comments from people who are so focused on Andreil (or the most common ships in general) to the point that like. they miss the point of what I actually wrote. Those are annoying but they’re not hate, they’re very enthusiastic, they’re just... enthusiastic about a story I’m not writing? So it’s a bit frustrating.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No sjflskgjhgf I struggle enough to write kissing, I think if I ever tried to write smut my brain would just shut down. I’ve managed some fade-to-blacks (which are mostly in WIPs that haven’t been posted) but they rely HEAVILY on the powers of implication

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I have occasionally made a brief go of it, not to post, more as an exercise for myself in a language that I’m learning. Anyway I never finish them so I’m gonna say no

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? I’ve definitely group brainstormed fics and then written them (the best example of this being Q&A (AFTG), which was the product of a truly off-the-walls group chat), but I tend to do all the actual writing myself. I think the way I write would drive a co-writer up the wall since it’s very disorganized and I don’t write stuff down because ~I know what’s gonna happen I don’t need notes~ and it would infuriate me if I was co-writing with me lmao, so I won’t inflict that on someone else

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I regularly move through ships I’m SUPER focused on, like it’s kind of a rotation. I will forever and always ship Percabeth though.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay so if you follow me at @birlwrites you may know this already, but i have this ‘warmups’ document that is just like, random ideas i get that i don’t necessarily want to finish but i just want to try out for a bit? and i have a rule that once a ‘warmup’ is more than 10 pages long (so 11+) then it has to be moved to its own document, just to make scrolling through the warmups doc easier. but usually, a warmup only passes 10 pages when i’m INTO it. so i have a bazillion wips i will probably never finish. i complain about this a lot. i have so many wips. i don’t need more.

here’s one: it’s titled ‘interrobang doesn’t know they’re dating’, it’s basically a full outline for a chowder/tango fic and it would be SO cool if i could ever like. get around to writing it. but i am constantly swamped with writing projects, so it’s probably not gonna happen. if anyone’s interested in adopting it though i’d be down for that!! i think it’s a fun idea i just almost def won’t write it myself

15. What are your writing strengths?

SNAPPY DIALOGUE AND SNARKY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE. my writing is COMEDIC, 90% of my ideas are based on a funny snippet that popped into my head, a lot of my worldbuilding is based on ‘hey you know what would be hilarious’ (whenever i explain how larai selects a chosen one in the rainfall universe i start laughing, which is a STARK contrast to how it plays out on the page), i love writing funny stuff!!

also i think my writing sounds nice, a lot of the time i pick words/syntax based on sound and flow so there’s that too. and i have lots of ideas! i don’t struggle much with writer’s block because a) i have a lot of strategies to deal with it and b) i have a lot of ideas to help get around it/work with it

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

PHYSICAL INTIMACY LMAO, sometimes in my end notes on shippy fics you can see me complaining ‘it took me literally 4 hours to write that very brief kiss’. also sometimes the humor in my writing gets in the way a bit, i have to very consciously put it away so characters can actually have serious, genuine emotions. also i don’t like outlining and i tend not to get betas for fanfiction so like..... i do my best continuity-wise but having really tightly plotted stories is just not my focus lol. (and i do put more effort into that for original stuff, it’s just fic where i kind of go wild)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If the reader’s supposed to know what it means, then writing it in another language is iffy for me. (stuff like terms of endearment which come up a lot in fic are fine imo, you can just put a note in to translate them and your reader will prob remember)

If the pov character isn’t supposed to understand it, and it doesn’t matter if the reader understands it, then ig it’s fine? but unless you already speak the other language (and i am NOT confident in my ability to translate english into literally any other language), then i think it’s way easier to just note that a character’s speaking x language and provide tone indicators, body language cues, etc. so the reader understands as much as the pov character.

That being said there are def times when it’s used super effectively--the dialogue in spanish in cemetery boys comes to mind! that’s not fanfic but it’s still creative writing so w/e

so i guess it comes down to: does actually writing out the dialogue in the other language serve a purpose? if it doesn’t, then you’re filling up the screen with words your reader isn’t likely to understand, which i try to avoid doing

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

so the first fandom i actually *wrote* for was PJO, but i distinctly remember creating warrior cats OCs when i was little. i never actually did anything w them but i had them and my favorite was a riverclan warrior named shellstream i remember this VIVIDLY

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh boy. okay so this is hard because i feel like i’m continuously improving as a writer. like in the sense that my writing is getting closer and closer to really matching my own taste? my favorites tend to always be my current projects as a result. and i do really love set those ghosts alight (HP) but it feels a little like cheating to say a fic i haven’t even finished writing yet. even though it’s def not cheating, that’s just the direction my brain is taking it.

i’m gonna say and then what? (OMGCP) because i’m super proud of the prose (especially ch 2 aka the first actual prose chapter), survived by (HP) for SUCCESSFULLY WRITING AN EMOTION and making readers cry :), and Q&A (AFTG) because i’m literally the one who wrote it and yet it still makes me wheeze. those are all fics i reread occasionally, because i’m big enough to admit i enjoy rereading my old stuff! (just like. to a point. some of my old stuff i can’t look at anymore because all the mistakes stick out to me like they have spotlights shining directly on them)

this was fun!! i’m gonna do an open tag because i just started my fall semester and brain tired. i know sometimes people see open tags and assume the op didn’t really mean it but I MEAN IT, PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME!!!!! YES YOU READING THIS

[starrose17]

Fic Writer Questions

Fic Writer Questions!

Tagged by @fandom-hoarder

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

On Ao3 I have 24, but that’s a fraction of all the fics I’ve ever written that are now deleted or lost on the ancient world of yahoo webrings.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

800,044 (but it’ll be ALOT more than that)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh so many. Lemme think in order I’ve done Pokemon, StarGate SG.1, Kyou Kara Maou, Rurouni Kenshin, Yu Yu Hakusho, Fruits Basket, Harry Potter, X-Men: First Class, The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, Vikings, Black Sails, The Witcher, Good Omens, Supernatural...and I’m sure I’m missing some others.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

-) Guardian of the Soulless - My Witcher fic, Geralt/Jaskier, and my favourite fic I’ve ever written.

-) The Impatient Snugglebug - A very old Harry Potter fic, Harry/Draco.

-) We Met At The Park - My X-Men Erik/Charles fic that shot me into fandom fame, where the now world famous @fahrlightloki cosplayed my Charles.

-) To The Stars - My Good Omens fic, Crowley/Aziraphale, based on the movie Titanic.

-)  Final Night - One of my very rare short fics, for Vikings, Ragnar/Athelstan.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do respond, cos I believe it’s the right thing to do.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t write angsty endings.  I have angst and drama in the fic itself, but everything always has a happy ending. Though I suppose final night kinda had one but that’s only because it’s a fic that is written within an episode and the episode didn’t end well.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

THEY’RE ALL HAPPY! They also all end in weddings, like, all of them. I had a certain plot in all my fics that I found appeals so well to everyone so I write the same outline in different fandoms and it always 100% works.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I did for the X-Men fandom, I wrote a few crossovers with the other films that Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy were in.  The craziest one I did was unfinished and called The Xavier Brothers Household, where I took a bunch of James McAvoys characters from other things and made them all brothers to Charles.  It was crazy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

The odd one here and there, but nothing major.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, an it’s always hot and heavy and very romantic.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, see the below answer.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Pretty much all of them until my most recent Bad Reputation one, but then I stopped saying yes to people who asked because I always asked them to send me a link to where it’s posted and they wouldn’t and I’d find it myself and it’d be under their name with no mention of me or a link to the original fic, so I stopped saying yes.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

That’s impossible to answer there have been so many, but I think the first one you have is one you can always fall back on, especially when you’re between fandoms, so I still find myself picturing Jessie and James from Pokemon ^_^

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

There’s very few fics I’ve never finished, only in the early days never anything recent.  There was a Harry Potter drarry fic of mine called Openly Confused, which isn’t even on AO3 but I think it’s still on my fanfiction.net account. I’d got to the last chapter and lost all interest in it and never finished it.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think anything romantic. I could spend pages, and HAVE, with one character just thinking about the other.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m not the best writer I don’t know too many big descriptive words and such so my writing is very basic.  I’ve been told that alot. But also been told that people like that cos they can get lost in the feelings rather than the imagery, and I’ve also been told that people who don’t have english as their first language enjoy my fics cos they’re easy to read, so it is a weakness, but it had a plus side too.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As I don’t speak any other language, that’s never come up.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon. Rocketshipping. Most of my fics are still out there on what’s left of the yahoo webrings.  I found most of them still up on an angelfire site, they were written in 1997/8 and are the most corny crappiest pieces of writing I have ever read lol Yet I still remember being so proud of them at the time.  They’re here if you’re interested, just do Ctrl F and search for starrose and it’ll take you to them.

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

Definitely Guardian of the Soulless.  Why? I couldn’t really tell you, I guess I’m just really proud of the story I did, of the relationship growing between Geralt and Jaskier.  And the bomb at the wedding scene, my God I’d never written anything so intense, and the shootout near the end, so much blood omg it was really outside my comfort zone and from the feedback I got I think I did really well.

Having said that, all of my long fics hold special places in my heart. My Black Sails fic L/S: I Will Stand Here With You, Flint/Silver, had the most amount of porn I have ever written in a fic before lol It was my longest ever fic at 165,104 words.

My x-men fic We Met At The Park got super famous in the fandom, had so much fanart done for it, and of course the cosplaying mentioned up above.

And of course a shout out to my most recent fic Bad Reputation, which has become my comfort love since I began it in February.  My version of Jared and Jensen live rent free in my head, they’re all I currently think about, even more than Sam and Dean.

Now as for tagging, I don’t actually read fic that much, so anyone whose a fic writer and reading this, feel free to tell the world about your fics!

[theastrophilearchitect]

Reworking the plot & getting my hands dirty.

Writing journey #2.

Sat 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 19.38 So, a month ago, today, actually, I started writing a book. For context, I've sorted out scenes and planned my plot; I'm now simultaneously writing my first draft and outlining scenes in more detail - I'm just into act two of my draft and just into act three of the outline.

I included today in my first writing post, which you can find here, but, while outlining, I realised something that will result in a major plot change (even though I probably should wait until revisions, it sorts out the climax I'm currently incredibly vague on, and will help me actually be able to complete the draft), and felt it was time to start a different post, because the other one was long, and already had its own focus.

Previously, I've been setting mildly insane word count goals, and even though I'm sticking to vague targets, I'm going to drop that, because I need to do a major plot change, and that'll mean the word count isn't going up that much for a while.

So, I have my first and second acts good, but while outlining act three, I've realised the event at the start of act three would work better as a climax than the vague battle idea I have. It just seems more original, more effective, but it means I need to shift events around and re-figure the first block of act three. I'll begin tonight, but it's already 8pm, so I'll probably do most of it tomorrow.

Sun 07/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,365 08.24 I'm reworking act three, and I think I may just drop drafting for the moment and focus on incorporating the edits I have in mind, then start drafting over. I know all the advice says not to go back and edit, but this is a big change I can't wait to do, so it seems opportune to just make the others, too.

08.31 I've now finished reworking act three, and I'm much more satisfied with it than I was before. I do now need to go through the scenes again, however.

13.57 Still re-scening. This is frustrating, but I've decided when I'm back to drafting, I'm going to drop my daily minimum to just 500 words - even though I'll make very little progress at that pace, it's more realistic considering I'm about to be plunged back into the world of homework and commuting, and it's something I'll always be able to meet to help me keep in the habit of daily writing. Word count isn't applicable when I'm doing re-scening like today, though.

Something else I've noticed, when I'm writing literally anything, I'm just scribing the words I'm literally hearing in my head, which is a little bit of a problem because where I wrote 'meet' just now, I meant 'meet' but heard 'eat' in my head and wrote 'eat'.

17.07 I feel like I'm finally making some progress - I've been writing on-and-off all day. My word count has actually decreased a couple hundred words since yesterday, but Scrivener is convinced I've written 42,000 words today, which I obviously haven't. I've typed a lot of words, but not that many, not all of which added to that since deleting words takes words off that number. It thinks I've written so many, however, because I duplicated my act one folder twice (then deleted it, obviously, because I don't need three copies of the same act) but Scrivener doesn't take off the words when you delete the file, only when you literally hit backspace.

17.50 Sorting out my climax, I'm realising how bad it was before. Which I guess is good, because it shows internal criticism and growth...? Or something...?

21.04 I've totally planned out the majority of act three, but I haven't finished it because where I'm up to ends with my characters essentially making a game plan, and since I'm not yet sure what that game plan is, I can't outline the bit where they carry out the plan, but I'll do that later. I've incorporated some of the edits I wanted to make, though I've left a couple out because they're less drastic and I'm not sure whether or not to include them, so I'm going to sort that either during or after my first draft.

Since I've made quite a few changes that will affect the parts I've already drafted, I'm going to start my draft over, and reset my word count, but I'll do that tomorrow. For now, Scrivener thinks I've written 42,385 words today, which I absolutely have not, and my word count is currently 28,365, but I'm going to remove every outline and drafted piece I've done so I can start from zero for what I'm going to call draft #1.4, because I already wrote a version of about 40% of it.

God, my word count has gone back to 0 of my minimum 50,000. That hurts. It really hurts. My actual goal is more 70-90K, but 50K is my minimum, so that's what I'm going with for now.

Anyway, goodnight, and good luck me.

Mon 08/03/2021 - Word Count: 820 So, I wrote 820 words before school, then got home, attempted to do some homework and lost all motivation and will to do... anything. Which means I'm very glad I did over my 500 words this morning.

Tue 09/03/2021 - Word Count: 1,367 15.07 I called this a #1.4 draft, but it's more like a #1.3. Anyway, writing is so much less stressful when I'm working from something I've already written - with the first section, so far, at least, I'm basically just editing the writing itself rather than the events because I'm pretty happy, at least at the moment, with my first couple chapters. Very little thinking required.

Also, it's been over 30 hours since I've written because I did my writing before school yesterday, but haven't written yet today because I've got so much work to get done for school. It feels like it's been forever.

16.17 I've finished rewriting chapter one, and still have a lot of fuel in my tank (that's a hideous metaphor) but I think I'm going to cut off today at 547 words, just because I have quite a lot on my plate this week, and I'd like to invest some time in actually reading the book I started eight days ago, and am only 200 pages of the way through.

Wed 10/03/2021 - Word Count: 2,082 I could write significantly more than 500 words most days, but it really is easier to set a minimum that doesn't feel like a strain, so that's what I'm sticking with for now.

Thu 11/03/2021 - Word Count: 2,801

Fri 12/03/2021 - Word Count: 3,405

Sat 13/03/2021 - Word Count: 32,211 07.40 I've just had nothing extra to say the last couple days, which is ironic considering how much I wrote each day of the last post, which went up yesterday! Anyway, it's finally Saturday, and even though I have exactly zero motivation to do anything this morning, I've been awake for two hours already (I recently discovered I like mornings??) and I think it's time to get going. Still sticking to my 500 word minimum, but since it's Saturday, I'm going to invest most of the day in writing, so I should surpass that.

08.20 I don't think I've mentioned yet that I dubbed this WIP Bay Tree in this post. Sorry if I have, but I skimmed this post and can't find it. So, this is about to get messy. I'm basically just cleaning up my prose, but there's so little point doing that when I'm not certain each scene will stay. There's no point editing a chapter unless I know it's sticking around.

So we're reverting, and this is about to get messy. I didn't quite finish my initial draft of chapter seven, because I wasn't sure how exactly the event at the end of it would happen, but I think I'm just going to delve into it. I'm going to add everything, including outlines, back to my word count, finish writing chapter seven, then pick up where I left off in chapter nine. Okay. That's why my word count is jumping around.

And, just like that, I've gone from 4,074 to 28,864. Well, 500 words accomplished. Surpassed, in fact, by just 24,290.

I'm going to aim to just hit 30K by the end of this weekend. I can easily do 1,136 words in two days.

As I've mentioned before, I haven't outlined all the way to the end and through the climax--I have a fairly clear idea of how I want it to do go down, but I'm not sure what I want the characters' plan to actually be, so I currently have 21 chapters, but I'm projecting 23-26, which, at about 3,000 words each, is pretty damn good, especially when it'll just get longer as I redraft (she says optimistically).

Already feeling more motivated now my word count's higher.

09.54 Oh! Also, I logged onto Tumblr today to find someone reblogged my last writing post with a really positive, encouraging comment. It's nice to think I'm bringing someone else a little joy with this.

11.13 And we hit 30K! I'm not quite done for the day, but I do need to go pack. Also, I've been operating under the impression the minimum word count for a novel is 50K, but it's actually 40K, which, though I'm only about 40% of the way to my projected total word count, I'm officially 75% of the way to being able to say I've written a novel.

I'm so glad I've gotten as far as I have, and I just hope I can keep myself going to the end.

12.27 This post is going to look really strange to read - if you're only looking at the word counts, it looks like I've written nearly 27K words today. That makes sense.

Oh, and I finished chapter seven. Like an hour ago.

13.52 At this point, I have literally no idea what continuity things I've already established, so I'm just going by a let-my-future-self-suffer philosophy.

14.36 That's chapter nine done. That leaves chapters 10 to nobody-knows. I'm going to stop writing now, but I wrote nearly 4,000 words today (plus recounting about 20K) so I don't exactly think this cut-off will be detrimental.

Sun 14/03/2021 - Word Count: 35,548 07.58 I’ve written over a thousand words already, and it isn’t even 8am yet. Being a morning person is genuinely the best thing ever as an introvert--I’m asleep when people want to socialise, and awake when no-one else is. That makes me sound like a hermit. I love it anyway, and feel like I’m stacking up for a good writing day. 35K is probably a little overambitious, but what’s life without aspiration?

09.04 As I’m going, I’m realising my plot is actually coherent, and being surprised that I can actually make a story without plot holes (as of yet.)

09.21 And that makes the first eleven chapters drafted! 

...And, Houston, we have a problem. Dammit. Eleven chapters, and I haven’t established one of the most important world-building points. Which is especially irritating because it needs to be established by chapter twelve. Unless I can establish it at the start of chapter twelve? We’ll go with that, so I don’t have to go back, then I’ll sort it out in edits or draft two or something.

I’ve just started writing chapter twelve, but I think, having written 2,600 words today already, I need a break. I have less than 500 words until I hit 35K, but I’m going to leave it for now, and come back this evening. I should be able to hit 40K this week.

18.19 And that makes 35K. Chapter twelve is only two scenes, and I’ve written one, but having written 3,000 words so far today, I’m going to leave it until tomorrow.

Mon 15/03/2021 - Word Count: 36,337 17.19 So there’s a crucial plot point just after my midpoint, and I’m not completely sure what to do. I mean, I know what I’m doing--I just wasn’t sure exactly how I wanted it to go, but now I know. The issue is other stuff needs to be pre-established, and I’ve worked out where it needs to go, but I don’t know whether or not I want to go back and write those bits now, or just make note of it and add it in draft two.

I think I’m just going to make note, plough ahead, and deal with it in draft two. I’m trying to figure out exactly how I’m going to operate after this draft: things generally say put it down for a few weeks, come back for edits, then go into your next draft, but I feel like I’m already going to have so many edits gathered by the time I reach the end of this draft, I should just go back into it, but time will probably be beneficial. Not that it actually matters now. I’m only just halfway through an under-draft (by that I mean it’s going to get a lot longer). I’m going to add new scenes in my next draft and generally fiddle with plot aspects, but as quite a linear writer, I think I’m more naturally inclined to just incorporate aspects in a draft rather than as edits. I’m not sure. Does that even make any sense? 

Depending on when I finish this draft, I think I’ll plan to pick it back up May 1st, and just see how I’m feeling. But, again, this all depends on when I finish the draft, and how I’m feeling when that time comes.

Tue 16/03/2021 - Word Count: 37,025 I bought my Scrivener license today! Yay!

Wed 17/03/2021 - Word Count: 38,408 08.04 This is mostly irrelevant to my project, but I just wanted to mention the odd fact that I’m definitely a plotter when it comes to longer pieces, but when I do shorter pieces, creative or essays, for school, I hate planning, and just start immediately, then go back and edit. Huh.

Thu 18/03/2021 - Word Count: 38,950 I’m going to edit this, but writing the date just now I noticed I’ve put 2019 for the last three days. It’s absolutely not, and I know why I did that, but still.

14.31 Also, Oxford commas? Found out what they were. Granted, that was actually a few days ago.

Fri 19/03/2021 - Word Count: 40,139 06.55 Even though I wrote 500 words yesterday, I didn’t quite reach my goal of 39K, just because I had to stop writing 50 words off, and by the time I had the opportunity to go back, I just wanted to go to bed. So, today, my goal is to hit 40K words, and officially be able to say I’ve hit the minimum word count for a novel.

Honestly, I’m starting to lose my love for this project. I’m still enjoying working on it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m anticipating finishing it because I know exactly what I want to write next. I feel like I’m mostly still working on it as a lesson, and I know it’s not what I ultimately want to write--mostly because it’s not super high-concept, and high-concept stuff is what I want to be writing. I am still enjoying working on it, I’m just not sure I’ll get to the ‘final line-edits’ stage. But who knows?

10.19 And that marks 40K. We’re in novel terriority, people. And, yes, I could correct that spelling, but I’d like to draw attention to how bad I am at spelling when typing. I’m excellent at spelling in writing, and wrong spellings bother me, but when I’m typing, my fingers are just trying to keep up with my mind, which means I try to type a letter and the one after it at the same time, and often end up with letters in the wrong order and punctuation in the wrong place. Or I just hit halfway between two keys instead of the key I’m going for, and type a wrong letter. Anyway, that was meant to say territory. See? I can spel..

Or I just double the punctuation instead of the last letter.

So I’m definitely not meeting my old goal of 80K words or a finished draft by the end of the month--that’d be another 40K words in just 12 days--but I’m definitely on track to finish by the end of April.

Sat 20/03/2021 - Word Count: 40,692 15.30 God, second acts are hard. I hate being in the middle. At the start, you have novelty, and at the end (not that I would know from experience) you have the knowledge you’re near the end, that you’ve already written most of it.

I’m currently operating the reminder, ‘You’ve written an act before, why not again?’, in hopes that’ll eventually extend to, ‘You’ve finished a draft before, why not again?’ and ‘You’ve written an entire book before, why not again?’

I’ve literally written 243 words so far today, and I just don’t want to. Normally, I sit down, I slog through the first hundred or so words, then pick up momentum. Maybe it’s just because chapter 13 is a boring part to write. Ha. 13. Just my luck.

I’m being nice to myself because a lot has happened in my life over the last few days, but I still want to write a minimum of 500 words, even though most Saturdays I can write more like 3,000.

21.41 I’d like to be asleep. That sounds like fun. Today slipped through my grasp, and I haven’t even written 300 words, but I am going to try to at least hit 500. And then maybe write thousands and thousands tomorrow, but I’m also going to bake a cake, and I’m notorious for being able to make cooking and baking take at least three times as long as is necessary.

21.57 So I got just past 500. Relatively speaking, that’s not that impressive for me, but it’s more words than most people in the world added to their manuscripts today, so I have to give myself some credit. (I’m working on crediting myself for productivity rather than degrading myself for not being productive--I could go on for hours about how much it pisses me off that capitalism teaches us productivity=worth in everything, not just business, but I’m going off on a tangent.)

Sun 21/03/2021 - Word Count: 41,466 08.08 Cakes baked! And I’ve come to a conclusion about how irritating I am to myself--I didn’t fully outline the latter half of act two (by which I mean I have each scene and a purpose of each scene, but virtually no detail) which I can absolutely cope with, but it does slow me down. Anyway, I’m waiting for my cakes to cool, then I can ice them.

14.28 I wanted to write up to 42K this weekend, which I don’t think is going to happen. I’ve written 774 words, so passed my 500-word minimum, but haven’t yet reached 42K, and don’t think I’m going to this weekend. I just don’t have much motivation, which may just be because of the part I’m on, but I’d rather work through this part really slowly then pick up the pace when I get to the part I want to be writing, than force myself to write this section quickly and poorly, then not want to continue into act three. So, sticking to 500 words a day; I may do more later, but I’m leaving it for now.

Mon 22/03/2021 - Word Count: 42,006 17.56 God, I don’t want to write today. I’m going to anyway, because I haven’t yet failed 500 words. They can be a shitty 500 words, but they have to be 500 words. Also, the scene I wrote yesterday? Absolutely getting deleted. But I’m leaving it for now because I refuse to lose those 800 words.

I really enjoy putting edits at the bottom of scenes in brackets and making them unnecessarily wordy so Scrivener thinks I’ve written significantly more words than I actually have.

18.31 Yay, did it. I’m really hoping I can just work through this low spot and don’t have to take a break. I’m on the penultimate chapter of act two, and the first few chapters of act three are really exciting, so I’ll know if I need to take a break based on whether I get motivated when I get to that part.

Tue 23/03/2021 - Word Count: 42,124 16.37 GOD, I need a break. I don’t have motivation, even for 500 words. You know what? I’m just going to make a note of the scene idea I had earlier, and I’m going to take a week’s break. Unless I get antsy, in which case I may end it earlier, but, I’m not going to write again until Tuesday the 30th. Unless I get antsy. FUCK.

I’m just reminding myself breaks are good and important, but I still hate that I’m taking one without finishing my first draft. Tue 30/03/2021, I will be back! Though my word count may increase between now and then as I note down any ideas I have, which I will update with. Okay. Just leave it.

Sun 28/03/2021 - Word Count: 42,150 10.47 Since Tuesday, I’ve made some notes on my phone of little things I want to change, but haven’t added them to my project file, so the word count hasn’t gone up.

Last night, I was just thinking about how badly I wanted to get back to this project, but this morning, I just... don’t. I’ve been thinking it through, and I’m not ready to drop this project yet, but I’m just not happy with what I have at the moment. So, I’m going to add my notes to the file, and then leave it for a few weeks, so I can return with edits in mind, apply them, and then start what I guess will be like a 1.7 draft, because I didn’t finish this draft.

In the meantime, however, I do want to keep writing, so I’m going to start another project in the meantime, which I can work on a lot in the next few weeks because, in a few days, I get a couple weeks off, which won’t be completely free of work, but will give me a lot more time to dedicate to this.

I think I’m going to say I’ll return to Bay Tree (or at least review, if, say, I just want to dedicate a little more time to whatever phase of the new project before I move on) on May 10th, because that’s basically when I get to relax after my exams finish.

So I’ll add the notes I have so far, keep making notes on my phone, and return on May 10th.

Which wraps up this writing update--a new one will come with my new project!

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, woohoo!

(And also kind of a NaNo roundup post because that was last month, after all…)

NaNo:

Sooooo I didn’t finish, lol. Not that I was…super expecting to, exactly, but I was hopeful! I think I just missed too many days in a row and lost all my momentum.

In terms of my goals, I was hoping to write:

1. 20-25k on Precipice 2. 20-25k on our faces like a mirror 3. 10-20k on Other Projects. 4. 50-70k total

In terms of what I actually accomplished:

1. 9,241 on Precipice (Sooooooo....about half of what I’d hoped, a little less. But I still got a fair amount done/prepped for upcoming chapters, plus a couple chapters actually posted, even while doing other stuff, so...go me!) 2. 9,043 on our faces like a mirror (Again, a bit less than half of what I’d hoped for, but I got enough done for the story/etc. to take a real Shape in my head. ...ish. See the specific OFLAM stuff later on in the post...) 3. 10,601 on Other Projects (Hey, I actually met this goal! ...barely, but still! Mostly thanks to the Nikita/Rebels crossover, lol...) 4. 28,885 total

Original Fiction:

I got a decent chunk of a big backstory piece for Lux done (in the form of a “then” and “now” set of scenes/vignettes for the five Archangels)--that being said, I’m not sure I actually like what I have there, lol. I know more or less what I need to cover, but the details are fiddly. Also not sure whether I should refer to Lux by her current name, for consistency’s sake, or use a different name (either Lightbringer or just Lucifer) since she does technically reshape her name after being released when the main Apocalypse storyline kicks off…also debating whether Lux should be/present as female way back when--angels don’t really do gender the way humans do in this ‘verse, but the closest human term for Lux would be genderfluid, sooooo IDK. Also also, for the ‘Now’ part…ehhh, I’m not sure I should have this be the first thing I post involving Trixie…but I’ll keep poking at it and see what comes out.

(I’d also planned to work on the big Kesshare character study saturation for The Farglass Cycle this month, and maybe go back to my untitled first-contact story, but neither of those happened, lol.)

Precipice:

We’re in the home stretch! Kinda. So to speak. Probably three to four more chapters in Arc Seven, which I’m hoping-fingers-crossed I’ll finish by the end of the calendar year??? (But given how much other stuff I hope to work on (see Other Fanfic Projects for more details…)

At that point--and I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably put it in an A/N in the next chapter or so, but following the end of Milestones, I’m planning to break off into a second/sequel fic, working title Protectors. This is at least in part because length (over 200k wtf I was anticipating 50-75k, maybe 100k, for these seven arcs @.@), but also was sort of planned even without the Length issue, due to some thematic/structure shifts following a six-year timeskip. Which, if you do the math, you can probably figure out where that’ll land us and why I might be structuring it this way…

Anyway, I’ve increasingly realized that there’s some stuff I should probably set up that I’ll need for later arcs in Part 2 involving some Rebels characters, more with the Last Batch, plus a Sith Apprentice who needs to turn up and die (although the gap between Infernalis and the next apprentice I actually care about/have a name and some kind of Plot for is only about four years in my mental timeline, so maybe there isn’t an active Apprentice in that period*…hmmmmm…), some background about the Hands, etc. But I feel like it’s all a little too disjointed for an entire additional arc. So, Arc 7.5, tentatively titled Preludes, is also going to be a thing XD I don’t think I’ll have a fixed schedule for that vs. the main storyline--and, honestly, it’ll probably work more like a collection of one-shots taking place during the timeskip than a proper Arc, but a little more Relevant than stuff that goes in Bonus Content, if that makes sense? It’ll probably be posted alongside at least arcs 8 and 9. Which, incidentally, take place more or less back-to-back and cover a fairly short period of time, but there is A Lot of plot/setup that goes into them. Like. If I tried to do it all as one arc, it’d be at least twice as long as any of the other arcs I’ve done, possibly including Arc Four--certainly over twenty chapters, I think--plus there’s a good (and by good I mean Horrible) place where I can split the arcs, so…we’ll see how that goes.

(…still not sure what to do with Maul, lol. He may just be Sir Darth Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, or he might turn up in arc 10/11/13, which are the sort of vaguest of the next seven arcs which make up Protectors, in terms of how much I have planned out…)

(*On a semi-related note, I’ve been asked about Inquisitors a couple times in comments lately, and…well, I’ll probably mention this when I reply to the commenter in question, but I figured I’d set it out here as well, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing but doesn’t read other peoples’ comments. Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned at the start, when I plotted out** the bulk of this fic, I hadn’t seen Rebels yet. I’ve since decided to integrate a few characters/plot points (Kallus and Zeb will feature prominently in a subplot in arcs 13 and 14, for example), but, as a rule, characters and plot points from Rebels haven’t been taken into account unless I Really Like Them and/or they’re a good way to fill in a plot hole in a later arc, as with Kallus and Zeb. So, for example, when I include Thrawn, I’m writing more towards Legends!Thrawn in terms of personality, though the two have blended a bit in my head and I do reference specific events in Disney!Thrawn’s personal timeline; and b) more relevantly, I hadn’t made any plans to include Inquisitors, and that…hasn’t really changed. So, I might have them in Preludes, but they almost certainly won’t show up on-page/be super-relevant in the main arcs of the fic, sorry :/ )

(**Loooool I say “Plotted Out” like I’m the kind of author with a Master Plan or at least an outline. But I did have a general idea of the Major Plot Points going in, such as when Rex and Ahsoka would turn up, Luke’s storyline with Lavinia, how many Apprentices I would need to make them work, etc., and I’ve had parts of Arcs 8, 9, and 14 written for like at least two years now, so I know more or less where I’m going--though they’ll be edited once I have more of the connective tissue in place, in case I’ve accidentally Jossed myself…or I change my mind, which is becoming A Possibility with a major event set to happen in Arc 14, so…we’ll see.)

Aaaaaanyway. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

Other Fanfic:

This month, I finally posted another AU outline, woohoo! …I mean, it was a super-niche Nikita/Rebels crossover with a handful of OCs thrown in but who’s counting XD (I do actually intend to finish Let’s Go Steal a Crossover and update the Ventress one at some point but…yeah).

I also put out a Kallus one-shot that I think turned out really well. May do more of those at some point, who knows…

I made some significant progress on our faces like a mirror, as mentioned above! But now I’m waffling a little bit over structure. Basically, the fic covers Bo-Katan’s backstory from the time Satine becomes Duchess, through the Civil War, and eventually leads to Bo’s eventual break with her sister to join Death Watch. It comes in two pretty distinct halves--what I call the Fugitive arc in my notes, which covers the Civil War, and the Breakdown arc, which is everything after her return to Sundari.

So, my original plan was--prologue covering at least part of the final Epic Screaming Match that leads to Bo’s departure; jump back to the Fugitive Arc; and then follow through until we catch up to the prologue, with a coda/epilogue with her and Pre Viszla. The problem is, there’s…really not a lot to connect the two halves??

I’ve got a couple options on what to do about this, but I’m not sure which would be best.

Option One: Keep the structure as-is and just let it be episodic.

Option Two: Keep the structure as-is and find some way to connect the two halves (i.e., a recurring antagonist; I do have an idea of who this could be, but the problem is, it takes away a good chunk of the focus from Bo and Satine’s relationship for the Breakdown Arc…which I don’t really want to do.)

Option Three: Remove the framing device and focus on the Breakdown Arc, and include the Fugitive Arc as flashbacks, since the Breakdown Arc can’t really stand on its own. (The main issue I have with this one is that, if I want to actually write out future chunks of Bo’s life later--meaning, her time with Death Watch, and getting her from TCW to Rebels--I won’t have these flashbacks and I don’t want to change the structure too radically for any eventual sequels? Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a flashback structure for this fic in general…)

Option Four: Remove the framing device and focus on the Fugitive Arc, ending the story with Bo’s return to Sundari. (Two issues with this one--I really do want to go into the Breakdown Arc; that’s where my interest in this story started. Also, due to the constraints of setting and so on, Bo interacts with…like…two canon characters over the course of the Fugitive Arc? And while I don’t really have a problem writing a story that’s essentially a Backstory Epic for a tertiary character, populated by about 90% OCs, I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read that, except as the lead-in to the Breakdown Arc??? But maybe I’m overthinking…)

…so, yeah. Any thoughts/opinions on which option would be Best? (I may make a separate post asking the same question later, but figured I’d lay it all out here, too!)

Also, I’m working on a Secret Santa project, and probably not going to use OFLAM for SWBB, which means I need to come up with and write a different plotline of some kind, so back to the drawing board on that one…

Also also, I do genuinely plan to get Distaff off hiatus At Some Point, especially since I’ve gotten some new comments/responses lately…but given how much else I have on my plate, writing-wise, that probably won’t happen until next year, alas.

Anyway, the long and short of it is--lots of writing planned for this month! Now let’s see how much I actually get done XD

What about the rest of you? What’ve y’all been up to/what do you have planned for next month?

[chyrstis]

Writer Asks: Any Prime Number

This took me a bit longer than anticipated, but thank you a ton for the questions! They’ve been a lot of fun to consider.

2.    Are you a pantser or plotter?

I’m probably a 60-70% pantser vs. plotter, because for every story I write it to be able to get to a certain scene or interaction. The rest can fluctuate wildly, which does give me some great flexibility when it comes to setting events up, but I’ve written myself into corners before, and better planning would’ve nipped that in the bud.

3.    Computer or pen and paper?

I used to have notebooks full of written stuff back in high school, but once college hit I stuck to my computer. The downside to this is that plotting on the go can be tough if you need to reference anything, but as soon as I’m back at home I try to jot anything down. A blank page of paper can be just as intimidating as a blinking cursor, though.

5.    How much writing do you get done on an averageday? 

It fluctuates wildly, sometimes being a handful of words forced through a block, or upwards of thousands if I’m lucky. Lately, I’m been pretty fortunate to jot down at least 300-500 words a day, though this is sometimes spread through multiple ideas. The spread focus might be working in my favor, but this isn’t helping me to get much finished!

7.    Standalone or series? 

While one-shots are fun, series are the real draw for me. Now, the organization and planning can be a headache, but I love seeing how things can shift and develop, even if things are written out of sequence.

This does mean that I do have to reread a lot of my past works to make sure that they work in sequence, so…this can be both good and bad, but for making sure character voices stick and are consistent (and that I don’t ruin my own internal timeline), it works.

11.  Booksand/or authors who influenced you the most

Answered here!

13.  Describeyour writing process from idea to polished 

I’ll start with the scene that’s the most solid in my mind, or a conversation, and draft that first. If I can find a solid starting point I can focus on that, or the next in sequence, and very rarely is a story written in order from start to finish. It always is a set of scenes that I’ll go through and connect one-by-one.

Then the editing starts. Descriptive details always pop up more here since I can be a bit thin with them on the first go-around, and if I’m lucky I can flesh out more conversations and underlying feelings/motvations as well.

The real fun part comes at the end. Titles. Titles and summaries. It’s not that big of a deal, but I always worry in the back of my mind whether I’ve shot myself in the foot with a bad blurb and unappealing title. Most of the time this is dead last, though there have been times before when the perfect ones have sprung up mid-draft.

17.  Whatwriting habits or rituals do you have?

Music is always a must, though I’ll make do without as long as I have something related to what I’m reading about going (playthroughs, without commentary if possible). I have a lap desk which I’ve been using on my couch, so I’ll whip that out too and just settle in for the long haul.

I also have a habit of writing later at night, which may honestly go a lot later than intended, 12 AM - onward, but I feel like I stress less over the perfect word choice at that time, and can kick back and take it easier.

19.  Howdo you keep yourself motivated?

Going back to the media that inspired me helps, and I’ll mess around with other things like playlists, OC questions, screencaps, pinterest boards, etc.

Feedback can be a huge thing though, and seeing any response to what I’ve written is such a huge boost it’ll carry me through the rest of the day.

29.  Favouritevillain

It’s tough to pick! I do love Maleficent, though, and any villain/anti-hero lady scientists are always entertaining to watch.

31.  Leastfavourite part of writing

Answered here! …But I’m going to go ahead and add titling and writing summaries as well.

37.  Firstsentence A snippet of your current WIP

“Hey.”

Hana’s eyelids fluttered, then closed.

“Hey!”

She felt a flick to her shin, and she tensed, sucking in abreath through her teeth. “Ow!”

When she opened her eyes, the woman crouching down besideher backed up, one hand tucked close to the pockets of her green overshirt, andthe other curled around a small knife.

41.  Anyadvice for new/beginning/young writers? 

Don’t dismiss an idea as stupid, trivial, or overdone. Give it a chance, and see what you can do with it. While two people may have the same idea, their execution and insights are never the same.

Also, try your hand at fic. Even if later on, you’re not sure about it, the characters you’ve made are yours and yours alone. They can find new life in any original worlds you make, and you can use the experience gained to try out your ideas.

43.  Whatdo you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Answered here!

47.  Bestway to procrastinate 

Baking shows. That and game playthroughs, if not just playing the games sin general. At least with the second I can get more info for writing, but the first only makes me want to bake delicious things.

[deputy-sarah-sux]

can i be a psycho and your worst nightmare by asking ALL the writers asks?

You are a demon omg. I love it though this was so much fun to do.Since you didn’t specify fic specifically for some of these questions I’m just gonna write about The Devil Has Come for all of the “in xxx fic” asks.

Answers are below since this is such a long ask :):):)

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? 12/13 it was between 7th and 8th grade and it was all anime fanfiction

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Far Cry 5, RDR2, Assassin’s Creed, DC, Marvel, Fallout, Skyrim, Preacher. Far Cry 5 is definitely my favorite to write for though

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.Personally, I prefer OC’s, with OC’s I can build their character, give them a personality and growth. I like shaping the character as the world changes based on their actions

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?Action or romance unless I totally misread that question

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why?The Devil Has Come!!! It was my first in the Far Cry fandom and it’s my baby. I love all the characters and the world that I’m building. It’s got action, romance, some twists, it’s exciting

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?If we’re talking things that I’m currently writing and enjoy writing then I guess Bridges only because it’s the same characters as TDHC just in an AU form so I’d survive without it.

7) When is your preferred time to write?Night, 10pm on basically.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Everywhere really? TV shows, movies, video games, other fics

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?So far my favorite scene that I wrote in TDHC that has been published was either the confrontation with Rook in Chapter 11 or Jacob finding Sarah in the hotel in Chapter 8. They were both really fun to write.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternate ending in mind?Well it hasn’t been ended yet, but there were two possible endings that I was originally considering. I’m not saying much more other than the ending that I went with is gonna hurt me when I eventually get to it.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Not after posting but I have amended stories due to criticisms. If I’m a bit worried about a particular scene I’ll share the doc with my best lady @farcryfuckmeup and get her opinion. She usually points out things that aren’t great and I go from there. She’s the closet thing to a beta reader that I have.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?Sarah!!! She’s my best girl and I love her personality and attitude. In terms of canon characters though I’ve been writing some stuff from Arthur Morgan’s pov and that’s been really fun too. I really love playing around with his sense of self and morality.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I don’t have one yet? We’ll see how the future plays out there. It might be Ethan Seed but I’ve never written stuff for him so I’m not 100% sure.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.Almost every fic name is from a song. The Devil Has Come is from Blues Saraceno’s “The River”, Icarus is from Bastille’s “Icarus”, and I’m not sure where Bridges is from but I’m 90% sure it was a song. The series that TDHC and it’s connected stories are a part of is called Bottom of the River from Delta Rae’s “Bottom of the River”.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I use name generators for modern characters or look up names with a specific meaning. If the character is from the past (ie cowboy times or pirate times) I look up names popular in that century. Sarah’s name I got by looking up popular names with religious meanings and Sarah was on the list.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?I came up with the idea for TDHC by playing co-op with @farcryfuckmeup. It was originally supposed to be a crackfic based on the dumbshit we did in-game. Then in my desperation to pretend that the game didn’t end the way it ends I started coming up with ways it could have gone differently and thus my fic was born.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.I have so many wips! I’ll do a few because I’m in a sharing mood.Fallout 4 WIP: “‘You don’t even use power armor, why did you steal so many?’”RDR2 WIP: “Valentine was a crap town with crap people and even crappier whiskey. It was tiny and smelled like mud and horse shit and something else that she was pretty sure was vomit.”Another RDR2 WIP: “Trouble was the bastard was clingy apparently as he was hot on Arthur’s heel.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yes, a few. I got bored or I decided to focus on other things. I do intend to one day finish them but who knows

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?The Devil Has Come!!! I can’t wait to write a sequel and I haven’t even finished the current fic.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?Sometimes I wish I’d written a follow up to my judge fic Joseph and his Judge. I’m not totally sure if I like how it ended.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@farcryfuckmeup first and foremost, she’s amazing. I also love gwennolmarie and OutlandishWhalesharks on Archive of Our Own.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?My anime fics from middle school. It’s still posted and I won’t tell you what it’s called but every time I remember it a little part of me dies.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Music mostly but it sometimes depends on the scene. For certain scenes I need silence but for the most part it’s music music music. I have playlists for all sorts of scene types.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?I love it, idk if I’m any good at it but I do like writing them.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Yes, I’ve been writing some future parts of TDHC and I have cried a bit writing some of it.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?The smut scene in Chapter 10 of TDHC, it was the first smut scene I’d ever published so I was really worried about that and kept rewriting it.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?Bit of both I guess. There is a vague outline in my head but only for like the big events, everything in between is go with the flow shit.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?It’s not going to be an instant hit. When I first started posting works back in the day I was always so upset when I’d check the next day and see only like 12 people had read it.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Icarus :(   It’s only a baby fic and it’s in a mostly dead fandom but I love it.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?No, I love all the attention my fics get.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)I’m gonna recommend one myself. Since this is a Far Cry blog I’ll recommend a Far Cry fic: come a little closer by lowtides on AO3Also here’s a Fallout 4 fic that isn’t finished but I absolutely love: RAIDERHEAD by TaraTargaryen

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?No real people no. Thomas is a combination of a few fictional characters though.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I’ve gotten a few comments of analysis on chapters I’ve posted and honestly I love that so much. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing that someone not only read my fic but sat there and actually thought a lot about it.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Like I said before I haven’t gotten a lot of criticism, but I guess the harshest for me was when I was discussing a character that I had really started to like and my friend (who I was ranting at about him) asked me to honestly think about what he brings to the table. Like is he actually necessary or just a throwaway character that won’t bring much to the story? I ended up scrapping him and putting a nameless character in his place to fill a few of his scenes.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I share them with one (1) person and that person is my irl best friend @farcryfuckmeup. Everyone else has to wait until I post stuff I don’t want to spoil any big surprises.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?It’s a chapter very far in the future for a fic I’m sure you can guess but I won’t outright say.“Against his better judgment, he reached out and grabbed the hysteric woman, tightening his grip against her struggling and pulling her into his lap. He wrapped her in a tight hug until she finally began to calm down, humming softly and running his fingers through blood-soaked hair.“

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I haven’t written a lot of funny stuff. I mostly do angsty. But when I was in middle school a wrote a novel where I spent two paragraphs talking about my MC’s hair color and current outfit and I cackle every time I read it. 70 pages or pure cringe, it’s hilarious.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.@farcryfuckmeup hmu bitch!also you @onl-you

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third, every now and then I write in first but idk I just don’t like it much.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?My close friends do

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?Thomas Moore, he’s a lot of fun to write for.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.I don’t actually have any song fics in the traditional sense. I do however have some fics inspired by songs. I listen to music almost constantly, sometimes a song comes on that gives my fic vibes and I add it to my prompt playlist.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?@/farcryfuckmeup has but I don’t try too hard to keep secrets when she’s around

44) What is the last line you wrote?“John rolled his eyes and finished unbuttoning his shirt.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?This is cliche probably but the readers. I don’t want to leave someone waiting around for the next update forever. I also want to see how things play out myself so my own desire to see the finished product also helps.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Again, going with TDHC for this. I am writing a sequel currently (I know it’s not done). It’s going to focus on a different character but Sarah will make appearances. I’m also working on a standalone sequel for her but that won’t be posted until the first sequel fic is complete.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made-up title. What would this story be about?I used a title generator: Hidden Midnight. It’s about a pair of idiots in love, one is a vampire so they can only meet at night and it’s very secretive. The human dies at the end.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Forced partnerships. I love it when two characters are forced into a partnership. One of them can’t fucking stand the other but slowly grows to like/love them in secret. If the chill one is in danger the annoyed one freaks the fuck out and does everything they can to get to their partner and afterwards claims they couldn’t care less what happened.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?I don’t remember the name of it but I’m pretty sure it was a Supernatural fic. I think it was Destiel (don’t just middle school me) and a high school AU. I’m not 100% sure. It was either that or a Fairy Tail fic and I like to forget my anime days.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?Angst. I love fluff and smut but in the end, I always go back to angst. It’s so much fun and there are so many ways to do it.

[whiparoundandcry]

Earbuds dump

someone wanted me to go through all the questions so //cracks knuckles

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

dunno what ‘this way’ specifically means, but I tried reenacting the way a lot of my fav fics have been, in way of word count per chapter, character interaction, plot balanced w/ the ship, ect

2: What scene did you first put down?

Maaan, it’s hard to remember what came first now. I have a doc thats like, 20 pages of just notes & me outlining the plot and world building. The first scene written on that doc is lloyd revealing his identity to the team, which actually happens about a year before the start of the story!

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

hmmmm, I’m a sucker for when the narration contradicts the dialogue- I just think it’s really funny, pfft. can’t think of any large scenes I do that in rn, but I also really like this bit, during the city hall meeting The woman sitting at the corner chair closest to the ninja shifted in her seat, and stared pointedly at Kai and Jay. Kai tried not to shift under her stare, but he could feel Jay stiffen next to him. “You two saved Satoshi the night King’s was attacked, right?” Kai’s mouth was immediately dry and his brain cut out. Her voice wasn’t loud, but compared to the silence before, she might as well have fired a gun. The question itself was straightforward enough, but Kai hesitated to answer - first, because Green ordered them not to speak, and second, he had no idea what she was talking about. I try to keep Kai a reliable narrator (aka I project a lot) and I feel like this part is funny for first-time readers, bc you get the feeling of “do I know who that is??? Did I forget?” then kai confirms it like “who tf”

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Kai looked up from their hands to meet Jay’s eyes, all warmth and kindness. “I dunno. I’ve only know you for a month, but I still feel as close to you as I do any of them.”

ouch!!!! 

5: What part was hardest to write?

GOD ALL OF THE FIGHT SCENES,,, this fic was so ambitious oh my god. That’s part of why the final chapter is taking a lot longer than normal- big fight scene ;v; also the meeting with the mayor was difficult to write bc like, I dont know shit about how city government works. My search history for the time I was writing that scene looked like I was researching for an essay, christ. 

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I’m finishing it :,3

7: Where did the title come from?

real honesty hours: I thre in the bit about Kai giving Jay his earbuds on impulse. I never planned for them to be a reoccurring symbolic plot device or for them to even exist but damn, here we are.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

My relationship with my brother def inspires how I write Kai & Nya. I say that I project onto kai a lot, but I project all of my ‘trans younger sibling’ energy onto Nya. ngl, most everything I’ve done in this fic was inspired by batman tho

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yeah, I have around 3 scrapped scenes. I’ll probably never release them, bc they were scrapped for a reason :,3

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Kai & Jay are the most boring out of the four boys :, ) so I figure’d it’d be easiest to fit their charters into the plot I had in mind, I couldn’t think of any way to fit in the “zane’s a robot” or “cole literally died” plot into it without making the entire story about those things. If I was made out of time tho, you bet earbuds would be a polyninja story.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I honestly just like that I’ve gotten as far as I have into it, and the perception that its gotten has been so incredible //sobs. Aside from that, my favorite parts about it are probably Kai & Nya/Lloyd’s relationship, and also that Nya is trans. I hadn’t seen any fics where she was trans before, and tbfh its my favorite headcanon. I’ll never write a cis nya in my life

12: What do you like least about this fic?

The relationship build up seems kinda... eh? I definitely should've put more into it, but at the same time I feel like I did as much as I could with it, just bc I’m so inexperienced with that stuff. I also with I could do a better job of conveying the vibe that I want this version of ninjago to give off (gritty, rough, gotham) but without being super edgy about it?  Also I’m really upset that Cole & Zane are getting shafted in Earbuds. I should’ve come up with more stuff to include them, but everything I came up with just felt forced, so they ended up just being background characters- which is was more than they deserve, bc they’re honestly my favorite boys on the team.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Well, there’s always the 8tracks playlist I made a while back (should transfer that onto spotify sometime) but theres a couple songs that I think fit the characters super well that aren’t on the list • “Fresh Eyes” is a super great Kai&Jay song QwQ “so suddenly I’m in love with a stranger / I can’t believe she’s mine / now all I see is you with fresh eyes” From Kai’s pov @ jay??? hell • “Better days” was a song rec sent in by my good bud hedley-ramsay anon, and it’s perfect for Kai’s POV, as he’s trying to stay optimistic about all the shit thats happening around him “Guess I didn't break it, but I bent it / I know I didn't say it, but I meant it / I shoulda had a little more heart and soul” • “Miss Atomic Bomb” is very very good for Lloyd & Harumi. tbh its a good song for them in canon too, but the dark city vibe it gives off fits so well with the Earbuds AU. “I was new in town, the boy with the eager eyes / I never was a quitter, oblivious to schoolgirls' lies” • “Be Still” is also a super great song for lloyd, in this au and just in general. “Be still / wild and young / long may your innocence reign” DONT CALL ME OUT I REALLY LIKE THE KILLERS

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

not... really? its a fanfiction about legos, I dunno if there’s any lesson to be learned from it. Be gay & do crimes

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

writing fanfic is super rewarding & fun!! It’s a pretty pig time sink sometimes, but damn if yall don’t make it worth it. 

thanks so much for your continued support everyone!!! The last chapter has 2 scenes to go and is currently over 10k words 💪

[marshmallow-phd]

The Experiments

Genre: Sci-Fi, Thriller, Experiment AU

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Exo (????)

Summary: You were a med school graduate who just wanted to help research cures for the world. Instead, what you got was a dream job at EXO Applied Sciences. That is, until you discover the secrets of Level Sixty-Six and the nine inhabitants that are stored down there….

Warning: None

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I 15 I 16 I 17 I 18 I 19 I 20 I 21 I 22 I 23 I Final

**

By three in the afternoon the next day, you’d interviewed all nine subjects and even learned their names. While some didn’t have any issues talking to you, like Yixing, others you knew would take a few more sessions. Kyungsoo said maybe three words throughout the whole hour. From what you read in his file, he was the most closed off, but still cooperative. Even with his small stature, he was the strongest of them all, possessing impossible strength. You wondered if he was just afraid to hurt someone accidentally. He never let you come too close to him, shrinking back if you leaned forward or made any sort of gesture in his direction.

Jongdae was the first one that you actually wanted to smack. Over the years, it seemed he built up a defense of sarcasm. You couldn’t take any of his answers entirely seriously and he even winked at you at one point. It couldn’t be denied, you certainly admired his bravado in the face of his situation.

The one who really deserved that admiration, however, was Baekhyun. His happy disposition shocked you from the moment you walked into his room. He was grinning as you sat down in front of him. It took only about five seconds for him to give you his name and he loved telling you stories about when they were all together in the large dorm room, located on a different floor. You didn’t even have to prompt him with any questions. That was his way of coping with his life, you concluded, preferring to focus on the fun times they had with each other.

Minseok was another quite one. His form of silence wasn’t one of fear or hatred of you, just a neutral disinterest. The only reason that you even knew his name was because of Baekhyun’s description. Most of the communication was you trying to ask open-ended questions and Minseok simply shrugging or glancing at you before looking away again. He would be a tough one to crack, but you hoped he come around soon.

The one that concerned you the most out of all of them was Sehun. His fear of you and of his circumstances radiated off of him no matter how neutral he tried to stay. Pushed all the back into the corner where his bed met the wall, he kept his arms wrapped around his folded knees, tucked in tight to his chest. You stayed a bit farther away than you had with the others, doing more to try and sooth him and convince him that you weren’t there to harm him more than anything else. The expression on his face gave off the vibe of a high wall that you would have to climb extensively before he would trust you. No, his fear didn’t show on his face; his expression was more mooted than that. Almost like he’d given up.

As you typed out your observations, you constantly went back and reread the sentences, trying not sound as empathetic and heartbroken as you felt. If you wanted to keep these sessions going and stick to the promise you’d made them, then you had to stay professional. At least in Dr. Wang and Dr. Kwon’s eyes. It took a lot of time, but when it was at the hour to go home, your report was finished at last.

The door to Dr. Wang’s office was locked and you didn’t have your own drawer to lock the papers in until the next day. Dr. Wang preferred reports to be written rather than handed in electronically. Not entirely sure what to do, you decided to see if maybe you could track her down.

Sticking with your own hallway for the time being, you poked your head into the first two labs to find them empty. If you were less anxious, you might have spent some time looking around as you’d never really explored the other work spaces before. But you didn’t want to seem like you were sneaking around and they looked just like any other laboratory you’d been in.

You came to the last one, concluding that if she wasn’t in there, then you would just forget it and slide the paper under her door and hope she didn’t yell at you for it. Unfortunately, while she wasn’t in this room, one other person was.

Near the back were several computers and vital monitors hooked up to a cylinder tank almost as high as the ceiling. It was full of water, much like an escape trick a magician would pull. But it was no magician floating in the water. 

It was Junmyeon.

His eyes were closed as he bobbed up and down in the water, his chest not moving. There was no oxygen mask over his mouth to help him breathe, only waterproof wires stuck to his chest and head. The beeping of the monitors was the only hope you had that he was still alive. In a sort of trance, you stepped forward until you were only an arm’s length away. Reaching out, you pressed your hand up against the cold glass, a sort of fog forming around it, creating a perfect outline of your fingers.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

You gasped, dropping your hand and swiveling around. Dr. Wang wasn’t looking at you as she stepped up next to you. Her gaze was fixated on Junmyeon, a strange look somewhere between admiration and a much darker emotion settling in her eyes.

“He can hold his breath under water for almost an hour without any internal damage,” she said in a breathy voice, like she was describing a painting. “It’s amazing how interchanging just a few sequences in one’s DNA can grant completely astounding gifts.”

“They’re an extraordinary group,” you agreed, although your opinion lingered on who they were as people, not the science that had been done to them.

Pulling herself away from the water tank, Dr. Wang looked over at you. “Was there something you needed, Dr. (l/n)?”

“Right, yeah,” you held out the report for her to take. “I’ve finished my first analysis. There isn’t too much to go on since it was hard to get some of them to talk, but I think if I keep going, I can get more data on their current mental states.”

“Excellent.” Dr. Wang glanced over the first page before tucking it under her arm. “I’ll go over it with Dr. Kwon. See you on Monday, Dr. (l/n).” She turned on her heels and left the room.

Just as you were about to follow her, Junmyeon’s eyes snapped open, meeting yours. You tried to convey how much you wished he wasn’t in there with your eyes, but you didn’t think it was enough.

You mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

He nodded, understanding. Knowing there wasn’t anything else you could do, you left the room as well.

Nada was already gone when you dropped your lab coat off and gathered up your purse to leave for the weekend. It was tormenting to know that you would be gone for two days, not knowing what was going on down in level sixty-six.

“(y/n)!”

Marcus ran up to you, panting from the short exercise.

“Hi, Marcus,” you greeted halfheartedly.

“You headed home?” he asked, putting his hands in his pockets. He was out of uniform so his shift must have been over as well.

“Unfortunately.” You were completely serious, even if he took it as a joke.

He seemed to take it that way, anyway. “You want to grab some dinner?”

You bit your bottom lip. As much as you really didn’t want to go home and be alone with your thoughts, you didn’t want Marcus to think it would lead to something more romantic. Your dilemma must have been written all over your face.

“It’s not a date,” he insisted, throwing his hands up, palms out. “My treat, but just as friends.”

“I guess that doesn’t sound too bad.” You sighed. “Okay, then. Where are we going?”

It’s a good thing it wasn’t a date, because you would be seriously unimpressed. “Dinner” was a hidden dive bar that was much too noisy for your liking. Marcus got a table near the back of the building and seemed to be on a first name basis with the wait staff.

Generic bar food was their specialty and nothing in particular stuck out to you. In the end, you and Marcus shared a plate of greasy nachos covered in too much cheese and not enough meat. You mostly just picked at it, not really hungry.

“Everything okay?” Marcus asked after you’d been silent for several minutes.

Wiping your hands on a napkin, you replied, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a long day.”

“The therapy sessions getting to you?”

You weren’t sure how to answer.

Yeah, they were getting to you. It was hard to see nine people who had had their childhoods taken away from them and hadn’t had contact with another human being who wasn’t out to poke and prod at them while performing painful tests in over two years. The process had been draining, but there was a silver lining. Being able to connect with them, to make Yixing smile just a little bit or to let Kyungsoo know that he’s able to be around others without hurting them, that made you feel like what you were doing mattered. So much more than staying in a lab and looking into a microscope day in and day out. Perhaps you chose the wrong profession in college.

“They’re…,” you took a deep breath, “strenuous. There’s only so much I can do or say. Half of them won’t even really talk to me.”

“I think it’s a brave thing you’re doing,” Marcus commented.

You looked up at him. “Really? How so?”

“The reason everyone is able to do what they do down there is because they disassociate.” Marcus stopped to take a sip of his beer before continuing. “They make themselves forget that they’re people like you and me. It makes me sick, to be honest.”

The image of Yixing and the guards flashed through your mind and your stomach did a little churn of its own.

“But you,” he tapped the top of your head with his finger, “you’re talking to them one-on-one. That makes you see them as only human. An animal can’t talk back. To do that, you have to be willing to face reality. To me, that’s brave.”

With the tips of your fingers, you played with the straw that floated in your glass of water. It was nice to hear something like that for once. All Nada really wanted to know was what they looked like. She wasn’t completely shallow, but like Marcus said, she’d shut off that part that would remember whose blood you were constantly looking at and cataloging. Plus, she’s never seen their living conditions up close.

“I really appreciate that,” you said sincerely. “It’s kind of been like walking on eggshells. Not wanting to seem too sympathetic. I’m sure if Dr. Wang suspected anything, she’d yank me out of there in a second. I thought I could do it.” It was hard admitting all this. You ran your fingers over your hair, trying to keep your breathing even. “I knew human trials were to be expected within EXO. I’ve read the stories and I knew I would have to accept that they happened. But forced experimentation like this? The cases we read about were always about somewhere else. Like a ghost story. I walked right into this blindfolded and now I can’t unsee any of it.”

“Maybe you were meant to be here,” Marcus offered.

You laughed. “What? Like fate?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, genuinely. “I mean, what if you were meant to help them?”

“How could I possibly help them? They’ve been in that place since they were teenagers. What hope is there?”

He shrugged. “Who knows? Opportunity might be closer than you think.”

[dailyaudiobible]

02/22/2019 DAB Transcript

Leviticus 13:1-59, Mark 6:1-29, Psalms 39:1-13, Proverbs 10:10

Today is the 22nd day of February. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is a pleasure and an honor to be here with you today. Coming to you from the Dead Sea currently and there is much to do and see today as there was yesterday and we will talk about that in a little bit. But before that we should that we should do what we've come to do and that is to take the next step forward in the Scriptures this year. So, we’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week and we’ll move back into the book of Leviticus. Today we'll read Leviticus chapter 13.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of Leviticus as very specific statutes and regulations are being put in place about very specific conditions, you know, like like we were saying yesterday, we can glaze over on this, but yesterday we talked about the fact that there is still clean and unclean, and that principal still matters as much today as it ever did. So, we get into the book of Leviticus today and God is telling Moses and Aaron, you know, about people who have swellings or rashes or discolorations on their skin and what might develop into a serious skin disease and what my not. And, so, it's easy again to just kind of tune out, like, come on, a reddish bump on the skin needs to be examined by the priest, he's gotta declare clean or unclean. Whew…thankfully we don't have to do this. And we can understand, you know, why these kinds of instructions would be given from a practical perspective because, I mean, we’re talking about a time without antibiotics. If there is an infectious disease that can infect another person, especially through blood or, you know, exposing raw flesh or whatever. Well, then that could affect a lot of people, not just one person. So, we can we can see that but it's hard to know why God wanted this in the Bible at face value, but we have been talking about the fact that the tapestry of this culture that is being formed in the wilderness has certainly got practical value in how people are to relate to each other, keep each other protected, and keep each other healthy. But also, what is being woven into this culture is a spiritual underpinning so that pretty much everything they experience in life is connected to its spiritual reality. So, the priest was to inspect a rash or swelling and quarantine the infected person. And the way that the priest would determine whether what he was examining was dangerous was to determine whether it was on the surface of the skin or if it went deeper. We’re starting to see the spiritual implications here, right? If somethings on the surface, I mean, it can pretty much be plucked off the surface and disposed of easily but something that’s deeper can cause chronic problems, right, both in our body and in our Spirits and we can’t always tell was happening within us. So, in our modern era, we have the medical community, right, we have members of our clergy, we have the counseling community to help us work through these things. In Israel's time they had family leaders, right, the tribal leaders and they had the priesthood. So, different labels, maybe different functions, but we’re not as different as it might seem. But regardless, the things that have become more than a surface issue, whether they are in our body, our mind or our spirit, those things should not be left to grow into a life-threatening issue that could impact everyone around us and Leviticus brought this clear, front, and center for us today.

Prayer:

Father, we come into Your presence. You are our great high priest. Examine us. We come and submit ourselves before You and ask You to show us the things that would be declared unclean because they are unclean. Show us the things that we've allowed to exist that have now become more than skin deep, the things that are seeping poison slowly into our souls and we know something is wrong and it feels like slowly fading but we can't explain why. It's because we've allowed things in our lives to grow beyond skin deep. Holy Spirit come show us these areas. We open ourselves to You. We want to be made whole. So, come Jesus we pray. In Your mighty name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

Okay. So, coming to you today from the Dead Sea where we will be heading out and heading north and by the time that the days over today, we will have left the wilderness behind. Yesterday, we spent our second full day in the wilderness by beginning in Eilat where we had spent the night and then beginning our journey North because you can only go north. And our first stop was at a place called Timna. Ancient mines are there and human activity from the time archaeologically is there, but there is also a scale replica of the tabernacle. So, we read about the specifics of the tabernacle that God outlines, the place to be the center of the camp of the Israelites, the place where God would dwell, right in the middle of all of them. And it's detailed completely but so much detail is given that it's…it's kind of…you know…and so many of the measurements, like, how big is a cubit exactly and all of this. So, it's like hard to imagine exactly how it looked and how it would be. So, there’s a full-scale replica of the tabernacle out in the wilderness just kind of sitting in the desert. So, it's in the right setting and it's just powerful to see the themes in the tabernacle emerge and how they point the way forward toward Jesus. So, we spent some time there viewing and hearing about the tabernacle before continuing forward and we made another stop at our favorite Yatvota dairy. Stopped for some more ice cream and a bathroom break before a bit of a long drive going north but actually descending to the lowest point on earth, which is where we ended up, in the Dead Sea. But before that went to Masada. And Masada goes back all the way to King Herod's time, at least where Herod at an opulent palace out in the desert but it was also us a stronghold. And, you know, if you've ever been to Masada, if you’ve been to Israel than you know, like…it…you see that place and you wonder how it could ever be taken, but it's the Romans did and that's part of the Hebrew story and that's part of the heritage here, but it is also a an unbelievably spectacular view of the wilderness. So, we spent some time there before, just coming back to the shores of the Dead Sea and considering some of the Genesis stories about Abraham and Lott and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and Lott fleeing and how his story went, which we talked about when we read through it in Genesis, but we just kind of revisited that right there on the shores of the Dead Sea before getting to our hotel before dark so that everyone would have the opportunity to bathe themselves in mud and float in the Dead Sea, which is always a highlight and always a lot of fun. So, we covered some significant ground today allowing us to kind of stage ourselves at the Dead Sea and begin to move north a few stops along the way and begin moving our way out of the wilderness. So, we’re having a blast, you know, we’re slowly all moving through jet lag and all this kind of stuff and just enjoying community and company and fellowship and fun and conversation and friendship all while being aware that God is speaking to us through the wilderness, speaking to us about the wilderness, and in many ways reinterpreting things that we've considered maybe incorrectly about the wilderness. And at this point , now that we’ve had a couple of days to just kind of view the vastness of the wilderness it's unspeakably clear, you take roads out of the equation and you take electricity out of the equation and everything that we are accustomed to and you take a horde of people into the wilderness that there is nothing to do but be utterly dependent upon God, which is kind of the point and kind of the point when we go through our own seasons of wilderness. And, so, we have often invited the Holy Spirit to speak into and interpret these wilderness seasons of our lives as we’ve wandered in the wilderness and it creates a foundation for the story that's being told here as we do our best to tell the story that the Bible is telling through the land of the Bible. So, we thank you for your prayers continually. Believe me when I tell you that we feel them, and we sense that and it brings an incredible amount of peace over the entire journey. So, thank you for your continued prayers and I will look forward to describing all that we will do today tomorrow because we have to do all we’re going to do today before I can buy can tell you about it. But thank you for following along and you can certainly follow Daily Audio Bible on Facebook or Instagram and we are posting things as they happen. And, so, excited to have you along virtually.

One way to really come along virtually is this Saturday, this Saturday evening, at least for us here in Israel, we’ll be at the Sea of Galilee and we always get together and just kind of debrief a little bit, talk to each other a little bit as we approach the halfway point of our journey, not quite the halfway point but as we’re getting there and just kind of talk through a little bit, share some experiences, but we spend a bit of that time throwing up a camera and broadcasting on Facebook Live. And, so, you are invited. This is gonna happen at 7pm here in Israel. So, the difference there, like back to where I live in Tennessee, it will be 11 AM on Saturday. So, you can just Google the time difference between Tel Aviv, Israel and wherever it is that you are and you’ll be able to figure out what time that will be for you. But do tune in, we’ll be broadcasting this on Facebook Live at the Daily Audio Bible Facebook page, which is Facebook.com/Daily Audio Bible or just, you know, search for Daily Audio Bible on Facebook and you'll find it. And hope to see you there. And that's a fun time because that draws the whole community together. So many people are chatting with each other from all over the place and throwing questions to the group here in Israel and getting those questions answered and it's always a good time. So, hope to see you there. It'll be fun.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link that lives on the homepage and I thank you for everyone who's ever clicked that link. My heart is grateful beyond words. Thank you. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello, good morning Daily Audio Bible, this is Yolanda from Atlanta. I’ve been listening for about seven years. I have not called in in about five years, but I was very convicted when I heard the prayer from, I believe, Byron concerning his 12-year-old son that he believes has been exposed to carnal, maybe lustful things at some point. And it was super amazing to me to hear this because it is…I have an 11-year-old son and it is something that I kind of struggled being afraid of knowing that __ have YouTube, you have the Internet and so many kids have so much exposure to so many things and I try my best to monitor things that, as you all know. And as we were growing up there were probably things that our parents never knew that we got into that we got into and it created strongholds in our lives that we still deal with today. So, understanding how I grew up and kind of what I dealt with. I am praying fervently for your son, I’m praying for all of our sons our daughters and whatever it is the enemy is trying to do in their lives I’m binding it in the name of Jesus, I’m coming against it. Lord God…but even in that…even in that because I have a story from when I was very young, my father having a pornography addiction and me finding things, whether it was VCR tapes, projectors, magazines, all that stuff at the age of four and having that stronghold all of my life. So, knowing how I’ve been able to come out of that and still be able to be a testimony also comforts me. So, I want to comfort you, that maybe ultimately where your son’s pain is will be his purpose. So, I’m praying for you, praying for all of our kids Lord God, I pray that they’re all covered in the name of Jesus. Have a Wonderful day.

Hi, this is Cherry from Claremore Oklahoma. I called in last May for __ and Greg and I have to say this real quick to get in. And I thank you everyone for praying and Victoria Soldier your words bring life. I always struggled remembering your name because the only name __ soldier of truth. It’s just been that way since I heard your name. Anyway, __ Greg struggles with severe alcoholism and when I called back and they he was in the hospital fighting for his life from a brain bleed and two surgeries in two days. They said he would die and he didn’t and they said he would be a vegetable and not recognize anyone and that didn’t happen either. He’s only 48 yet he struggles with anxiety, depression, __ his feet - L4, F5, and F1 - just from being a paratrooper in the military, cerebella ataxia where the lower part of the brain sits against the spinal column and let’s see, brain surgeries I mentioned earlier. Today he is with me as I travel across the country on my job, a door God’s opened to stem cell injections this Thursday the 21st. So, for the first time in his life he’s willing to try and stop drinking on his own due to the pre-and post-cell injection requirement. And he’s a fighter. His hearts willing, but please pray, his flesh is __ strong. And now he listens to Brian with me and he repeats every morning the famous loved words of Brian Hardin, “I love you and I’ll be waiting here for you tomorrow” with tears in his eyes. He prays for the callers with a broken voice and so many changes in his heart and mind and so many more are needed. Another issue is he will have to stop drinking…oh…I’m sorry…he’ll have to stop working out after the injections for quite a few weeks and that’s what releases his anxiety and he’s always been a gym rat and it’s just really gonna be a hard thing to overcome and work through. I trust God to lead each and every one of you on how to pray that my thoughts are praying for purity and the mind of Christ, that he would have pure thoughts, desires and an identity in Christ and not what he thinks he should be or expected to be. So, okay, I think I got it in. Hope you understand it. Thank you, guys.

Hey family this is Darrell down in Georgia calling in, I think for my third time. Anyway, this is my first time that I’m calling and asking for some prayer. It is for a very good friend of mine his name is Al and his wife Kathy. They’re in their early 80s and Al came home from the hospital yesterday. He’s been battling cancer and he is now involved in hospice. They are anticipating a week or two and he will be home with Jesus, which, I know that Al is ready to go and excited about going. He’s just the most wonderful man with the most gentle heart, gentle spirit. I’ve known this man for many many, many, years, love him and his wife to death but he’s very sad because he knows he’s breaking the hearts of his children and, of course, his wife. His wife Kathy is the one that is really going to need the prayer because she’s very dependent on Al. She doesn’t drive. She has friends around her. She has us around her. She has her family, but Al was her strength and she loves the Lord, absolutely. But if you could pray for Kathy I would really appreciate that and for Al that there wouldn’t be any suffering. I heard today, and I teared up today as I learned that he was starting to struggle in his breathing and it literally breaks my heart. So, if you guys could remember Al and Kathy my good friends I would be very grateful. Thanks so much. I love our family. Have a great night.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family this is Trish calling in Chicago…and head down…let’s pray. God, thanks for today. Thank You that You give me parents that love me, and You give me friends as well. I ask that You would encourage my heart and anybody else’s out there that’s really discouraged about things __ and just really sad __. Lord, I ask that You would raise up godly men and godly women __ each other and make an impact on this world and that You would provide for __ as well. Thank You that You see us and You are the living __ You are the living one who sees us and we thank You God for that. I ask that You would encourage the heart of anybody that is thinking of taking their lives, that You would enable them to be impacted by a sermon or reminded them of something You’ve taught them in the past. Thank You that I’m not suicidal right now but…trust in You dearly __ as a result of hearing this prayer request. Thank you for the Daily Audio Bible and everyone here. Amen. Good night friends. Thanks for praying. Bye.

[authorracheljoy]

A writer's Ask Game 1 2 3 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49

1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

Only when I’m typing up what I’ve written, honestly!

I can’t otherwise focus on the actual writing/editing if there’s music or other distracting noises so-

2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

Plotter all the way!

I gotta have an outline, otherwise my story loses focus and that’s NOT GOOD!

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Both, technically XD I use pen and paper for the drafting, and to get all my ideas down (and outline too of course), but then I typically use the computer for typing up what I’ve written :))

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Less than I’d like to recently :/ I honestly NEED to get a better writing/editing schedule, but my days are just so consumed by other things to take away my attention, and it sucks. Both as an excuse and just a way of getting by when I have a manuscript that needs rewrites! D:

6.     Single or multiple POV?

Single POV (at least for now? I’m really hoping to branch out with future WIPs)

7.     Standalone or series?

Depends on the story idea, really!

If there’s enough content to expand upon after book 1, I typically will plan for sequels. I mean.. The Hunters Saga started out as just a standalone with a thought-about sequel, which turned into a trilogy, which is NOW a freaking QUADRILOGY!

So yeah, it kinda depends XD

8.     Oldest WIP

As far as actual prose goes (no transcripts), my oldest WIP was called The Creatures of the Night Quartet, and… it’s TERRIBLE. Granted, I wrote it a few years before Antoinette Drake came to mind but STILL! It’s just horrible writing and the plot- what plot??

But if we’re talking WIPs that include transcript/script formats, I guess my oldest WIP would be SuperNova, which was a silly little sci-fi “story”! You can read about both of these prehistoric WIPs over on my Original Stories page!

9.     Current WIP

The Hunters Saga of course! ^^

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

Oh how I WISH I did that! >.>

11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

There… weren’t any really? I kinda just went with it? I mean, my first books were really heavily influenced by Twilight and vampire books in general. The Hunters Saga was slightly influenced by Richelle Mead’s Vampire Academy series but that’s about all that comes to mind :3

12.  Describe your perfect writing space

All I need is a notebook, a pen, and a laptop!

The rest doesn’t really matter at all to me~

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Well, usually my ideas come from dreams, or just scenes that come out of my head :) Then I first try to see if that certain idea/scene fits into any of my current WIPs and could be potentially included! If yes, then I do so! But if not… I typically try and write more around it :) After having an expanded idea and character list, I either develop the characters or make an outline for the story idea. Either works fine ^^ After the characters are developed enough and the outline is made, I get to writing! And after that? I edit it of course XD

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

I try to remind my self how I became so incredibly lucky to land a publishing deal. I mean, sure, it’s not what I had planned and I have occasional doubt about my writing in general, and how people generally see and criticize my style and characters… I just gotta remind myself that I can’t please everyone. And if I have to have a goal in writing, it’s to tell a story the way I see it. Criticism is such a touchy subject, and some writers just flat out ignore that. And sometimes, that’s smart. But - and I’m getting seriously off-topic here but WELP - more often than not, that criticism turns out to be justified! I know my writing can be weak and uninteresting. But do I let that force me away from my passion? Not at all!

If you love writing and want to become a published author, you can’t do it half-assed! You have to want it wholeheartedly. You have to TRY to improve. You have to take criticism for what it is and what it might be-

OK I’m so off-topic, this is raising too much anxiety oops.. I’ll just leave it there though.. because it’s how I feel!

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

I do something else - listen to music, draw, watch a movie, play a game- something other than writing (which is blocked, DUH) But yeah! I tend to step away from the manuscript for a bit and clear my head until ideas come rushing back :) And if I’m working through an outline, there’s a possibility of just. working on a different scene in a different chapter other than the one I’m stuck on at the moment ;3

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Usually 3 or 4, depending on how long and how detailed the drafts are :D

And if I’m REALLY lucky, I can do it in 2 but that’s actually VERY RARE for me so >.>

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

I have none!

I used to try (and fail) to write a page a day I guess XD

Now I just pray that I’ll be done with my current manuscript by the end of the year :X Urrggghhh

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

My writing friend @mercurialsmile! We’ve attempted to write a crossover before but it never really went anywhere- mainly ‘cause of my focus on editing and both of our crazy work/school schedules :X Maybe that’ll change soon, though? I dunno but I hope they’d be willing to try again

19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

A LOT! 

I may talk about my current WIP (The Hunters Saga) 24/7 on here, but I DO have other projects that have at least some ideas and characters :) 

You can find them all HERE!

21.  Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

Writing Toni is pretty much writing myself, so that’s always a fun time XD

I also like writing Gavin, Kira, Hannah and Ethan, among others ^^

22.  Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Toni and Henri aaaand Micah and Darius (which is coming soon to the series! Darius gotta be introduced first, guys!!)

23.  Favorite author

I really enjoy Stephen King now that I’ve started reading his works~ Also, honorable mention to Kim Harrison for being amazing at writing about paranormal species cohabiting the earth together

24.  Favorite genre to write and read

I love love LOVE writing romance and mysteries~

Aaand I pretty much like reading the things that I write so XD

25.  Favorite part of writing

Getting the ideas down on paper for the first time and feeling that RELIEF!

26.  Favorite writing program

Uhhhh… Microsoft Word??

27.  Favorite line/scene

The Frying Pan Incident

28.  Favorite side character

Dominic and Adam Hastings

29.  Favorite villain

Oooh I can’t say their name but mmmmm they are BAD and I love it!!

30.  Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet

A science-obsessed nerd and the head cheerleader fall for each other

Lesbians for the win!!

(basically the plot for Queen Bae, one of my WIPs!)

31.  Least favorite part of writing

The EDITING!

The REWRITES!!

32.  Most difficult character to write

Mmmmm probably Liz? 

33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes (not gonna elaborate ‘cause it might count as a spoiler XD)

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

I won’t be too specific but.. it was a NSFW scene ;;;

35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

Uhhhmmm I don’t have one that I’m least looking forward to ^^

If I have a story, I write it. End of story.

Even if it might be crappy, I still love the idea.

I would never force myself to write something that I didn’t think deserved being written (if that makes sense??)

36.  Last sentence you wrote

Other than a bit of knowledge beforehand, we know about the same for once. 

Odd. 

Unsettling.

37.  First sentence or your current WIP

“I’m so sorry for your loss, my dear,” the man in black murmured to me, but I barely acknowledged his presence.

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

B-but.. ALL of my story ideas are WEIRD! 

How could I possibly choose?!

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

Aliens that puff up/inflate their bodies when angered XD

40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

Dru was born as an only child, which is a true rarity in the lives of lycanthropes. Perhaps it was a sign that they were meant for something truly remarkable?

41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

It’s sort of what I said when I was asked about doubts?

You can’t please everyone, so don’t try to. 

Don’t pander. Don’t always give the readers what they want.

Satisfy yourself.

Take criticism; don’t try to ignore all of it. Who knows, some things might actually end up helping you become a better writer ;3

42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

I was WAY too attached to them back in the day so! 

If I have hints at a possible love triangle, I try to make it so the center of the triangle can have a clear choice as to who they’ll eventually get with (if anyone at all)! The only case I have where the love triangle kinda become a polyamorous relationship was with Nerissa, Melissa and Sergio :) Both girls had crushes on Sergio, and when he had to face those facts, he decided to help Nerissa and Melissa become friends and later- LOVERS! But anyway yeah, love triangles are hard for me to steer clear of, but I try my best ^^’

43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

I get really angry at them and throw rocks.

But no. I either try to get them back on track OR I just.. let them do their thing. Maybe the characters know the plot better than I do! XD

44.  How much research do you do?

I don’t normally dive too deep into research unless the plot demands it, of course! As for the time and depth of research, it solely depends on what exactly I’m researching actually :) If I’m simply looking up Latin phrases or the names of the most famous authors of all time, it might take me a few days to absorb the info, and a week at most! But if I’m worldbuilding and creating new places and all that, well, THAT would take me a lot longer than a few days to a week! More like a month D:

45.  How much world building do you do?

Not many of my stories have worlds not set in America/Europe/EARTH! Basically, I think I only have 1 or 2 worlds that even require building, and I have so little as far as plot goes that I haven’t had the substance to work with yet :) But maybe someday!

46.  Do you reread your own stories?

Mmmm I used to? 

Nowadays I just don’t have the time for that :/

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Drawing art of my ocs instead of writing for my ocs XD

That, or making music playlists for my WIPs :3c

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

Toni Drake.

‘Nuff said!

As for a self-insert scene? I don’t think that’s occurred yet? 

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

Either Ethan, Clary or Hannah! ^^ They’re all such nice, friendly people~

Oh, and Kira of course! Can’t forget her XD I’d love to go shopping with her and enjoy our silly, light-hearted conversations

Thanks for the ask, Friendo ^^

A Writer’s Ask Game

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking With the Schuylers (2:2)

Hi! I’m here! I’m starting one million things soon and my life is about to be utter chaos but I’m trying really hard not to let this story die-I have always had a bad habit of abandoning too soon. 

I saw Hamilton over the weekend (finally. I worked my ass off for those damn tickets.) and I felt so much personal inspiration. But I also felt so much for this story-these characters-their portrayal and where they could go. There so much more to be said here, that’s why there’s a book 2! 

If you’d like to be put onto the tag list for this book, let me know. Until then, here’s another piece of this very, very long love letter to Eliza Schuyler.

1  2  3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10   1112   I  13  14   15   16   17   18A  18B   18C I19   20   21   22   23   24   25  26   27  28   29   I  30  31  32 33 34  35 36  3738  39 40  41  42 I 43  44  B 45 46  47 48 49  50 ---------- 2:1

Happiness looks impossible without you here.

Through the glass, the chill and the snow and the impassable fog of white

Through the storm, you are here.

I am here. We are here.

There has never been a lovelier word than us when it hops into the air from your lips, dripping sweetness, gold as hard-sought honey I selfishly store for storm filled days.

It is a sweetness I will never grow accustomed to.

In your eyes, I am enough.

I have never been enough before.

To sweet kisses and small smiles; to the harmony of your voice reaching my eager ears, healing.

To you, my Eliza.

                 Alexander likes to write her letters. Sometimes they’re short, a stick-figure representation of himself with a smile bigger than his face, a few choice words like good luck or miss you or love you. He writes down things he sees throughout his day, keeps them in his pocket in a list he brandishes the next time they’re able to talk. There isn’t much organization to the way he pens his scatter-thoughts onto paper for her, only in that it has become a custom for him to do such a thing. Sometimes the words come on napkins, slightly crinkled with a stain on a corner, circled with a sorry written over artfully formed espresso droplets. (She finds them artful, almost provocative with some of the words that trace their outline. Her friends find her collection of napkins and cut-outs from coffee cups to be a bit much. She doesn’t care.)

The best letters are the ones Eliza finds later than intended, another habit Alexander has grown accustomed to. Instead of giving her each of his thoughts at one time he hides them, stuffs them in drawers or shoes or the pockets of her jackets when he thinks she won’t notice. He doesn’t need her immediate feedback-or any feedback at all, really-but he receives it with a smile and a boost to his own morale. She’ll call, or text, to let him know that she’s found one.

               “It’s number 104, on the back of a gum wrapper in that big tan bag I bring to class all the time. I almost threw it away, Alex. What would I have done without being able to see a word like temptress written in your handwriting?”

               He numbers the letters, starting with the back of a takeout menu on the night they’d first met. They grow from 1 to 10 to 100 as rapidly as his feelings progress; alarming and sudden, and with the rushing of thoughts he can’t keep to himself. He doesn’t know that she’s keeping them until 150. He’s in the room when she finds it, wedged between the pages of her well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice. She reads through the shorter phrases then, his words fighting their way off of the page to wrap her in protection. She grins, kissing his cheek and moving to her closet.

It’s there, in a powder-blue box hidden behind a stack of jeans, that she puts the folded up literature. He peers over in her direction to find the contents of the box nearly spilling out, gum wrappers and napkins and haphazardly folded sheets of paper gathered in one space. She tucks the wrapper within its mess and sneaks the box back to its original place, and when she’s turned around again his eyes are wide, struck with amazement.

               “Were those my letters?”

               “All of them, except for the ones I’m sure I haven’t found yet. I’m going to need a bigger box pretty soon.” Her voice lifts, presents itself with air that fills her lungs and lifts her soul, allows her to brandish that smile. It’s that smile that’s produced his thousands of words. It is the perfect, silent instrument; whether it is accompanied by  bell-toned laughter or sleepy yawns, a hand in his hand or her lips on his, it sends beautiful tones of bliss to his once worn-down soul. It’s that smile that produces letters 1 through 150, and it’s that smile that will produce hundreds more.

               She finds letter 160 in the middle of a session; there, in between the neatly placed  layers of books and pens and charcoals within her canvas bag, is a handed-back math test graded in red pen with a 98%, Alexander Hamilton written in his scratched handwriting at the top. At the edge of the numbers and red-inked markings are words for her.

               Happiness looks impossible without you here;

               She smiles to herself, skims the writing and lets his words find their way to her heightened stress. It hasn’t been long since she’d found the last letter, handed over to her between classes earlier in the morning. These things have a way of keeping their meaning, staying sacred in the way that they appear to her by more than just serendipity. His words come to her in the times she needs them, whether their meaning directly ties to her current stressors. Eliza interprets them in fortune-cookie manner, taking his words and stretching them to match what he would say if he was there at the moment she found them.  

Happiness looks impossible without you here;

There are two big potted plants in the corner of Lisa’s office. One sits on the windowsill, overlooking the darkness of the winter nights and the fog that rolls steadily in with continually changing temperatures. There are lush green plumes of aloe, bold and thick, accompanied in a long ceramic planter by two rounded cacti. One is smaller, symmetrical, with spines like peach-fuzz on boys who played hockey for their private school and pretended they didn’t smoke weed in the locker room. The other is larger, a bit grander. It stands perfectly in its place; performing, almost. In the months Eliza had gone over to the window in this room, stood and studied the cacti while feigning thought and killing time, she’d seen the bloom of a sharply hued flower, full and pink. She’d come back the next week to a barren cactus and a lecture about her matching journal.

She hadn’t written much of anything; a few sparse details lined the pages, although she carried the book in her bag consistently. There were things to be written, of course; a barrage of memories often came while speaking to Lisa, or on her way back from a session. Most often they came at night, when Eliza had hung up her video call with Alex and rolled over in bed, sighed the breath of loneliness that had only come with their parting. And then the wall hits.

They come in groupings of two or three, typically; small things, little moments she’d tucked away in the far reaches of memory. They’re dusty, of course, but as the sessions wear on and the healing increases, the recollections are polished.

               From her side of the fog, there is nothing; he is there, but as a presence she remembers with fondness. When she tries to reach out to him her limbs become numb, her mind littered with phantom movements and phrases and calls for help that never quite articulate. As the fog increases it seems to swallow her whole, carrying her bell-toned laughter and waist-flared dresses, her heels and curled hair and sunny optimism. There isn’t much to life within the fog; voices murmur, their words unrecognizable as she struggles to take note of their lectures. Her body aches and groans with each movement, pulsing and throbbing as if to scream, to beg for breaks she gives willingly each time. There is far more sitting within the fog-far more staring and numbing and waiting for the time to change to another day, a better day. In the fog, there aren’t many better days.

               Her journal is clouded in waves of grey paint; it’s the way of communication that lends itself most easily to Eliza, who has not spoken much at all the past few weeks. Each session begins with Lisa’s thumbing through the pages, wordless as its contents are, taking notes-always taking notes-of the greyscale patterning of paints. She attempts to ask, more than once-

“What’s the significance of this…of this murky grey covering all of these pages?” Eliza shrugs.

“Have you written anything yet? Have you remembered?”

She shrugs again, and for a moment the fog dissipates. There are flashes of red- a dark and brilliant merlot spilling through the steam. Her ears begin to ring, sharp and overbearing, taking over each of her senses with boundless amounts of pain. There is no way to decipher one brutal noise over the other; a cacophony, a curse. Her body burns and her head aches with the allowance of the flood, aches until she forces the fog to drive everything back once more. In the fog, there is no communication-but in the fog, there is no pain.

Are hearts meant to endure pain?

She ponders the question often; there is a surprising amount of moments to think throughout the day, even when Eliza has made it a point to keep herself busy. Thoughts can occupy the small, empty space at the forefront of her mind with an alarming colonization. Her spirit is wounded. She can see the expanse of Lisa’s room even when she is away from it, hear the splashing of the fountain or the curated racing of a black-inked pen on a yellow legal pad. She wonders often in these moments what kinds of things could be written on these lines, especially when she is barely able to complete a coherent thought for herself. What kinds of things could this stranger be inferring about her silence, her struggle?

Eliza finds silence to be her best company; if she does not speak about the pictures that resurface from the corner of her mind, there is a stubborn sort of hope that in time, they will be erased. If she does not permanently pen the thoughts to paper, or paint them as a master making careful copies, the pain will vanish as it is forgotten. It works, for a while. Eliza lets the fog roll forward as she pours her soul into her work, hard-headed and determined. For a moment in time she is unwavering, a week of compliments and successes, passed back projects that echo the success of forgetting.

Even this does not last long. The first week of February brings Lisa’s new assignments;

“Sit down in the silence. Sit, and think. Let yourself feel. Write it down.”

She nods. She tries. There is one night, straight after Lisa’s request, where Eliza attempts to recall everything she’d pushed aside. She carves out the time-it isn’t hard to come by now that she has to live alone. Setting out the barely altered canvas of the journal she had been given, Eliza stares at its pages with tear-brimmed eyes. The night’s session had been spent in a similar manner, Lisa guiding her through an exhausting meditation process, Eliza talking through a sharpening recollection of a night just a year before.

               There were words, slanderous and fierce, spilling from his drunken lips with the last few droplets of vodka he’d yet to consume. She can barely hear them over the searing strength of physical pain; a row of fingerprints already reddened on both arms, a raised line of red along the left side of her shoulder. The echo of bone against wood fills the apartment, but the chilling sound is only momentary. He muffles her cries with a hand over her mouth. She lets her ideals of romance consume her thoughts, taking over in silent cries wondering why this moment doesn’t feel as ‘right’ or ‘whole’ as what she’d been taught to believe.

“Shut up! You wouldn’t have been playing games with me if this isn’t what you wanted.”

Words fly from his mouth like weapons, hitting her harder than the physical wounds as they consume her naivety; maybe there is truth within him. Maybe she had been teasing him. Maybe she deserves it. She lets him take over. She closes her eyes and prays.

There’s a song Eliza’s mother used to sing to them each night, all three girls tucked up to their chins in Angelica’s full-sized bed after story time. They’d be a mass of tangled limbs and hair falling into each other’s faces, three girls whose mother whispered words like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’ and brushed her hand over each of their rosy cheeks. It was some sort of catholic hymn, something sweet and slow. It talked of miracles and love and a happiness that has finally been found. Her mother used to tell her girls that she was “generously blessed with all the right things” before tucking them all in, side-by-side, a sisterhood crafted by fate rather than biology. They’d snuggle close, all three sisters, because even as children they understood the comfort of each other’s company. Eliza would find herself between Peggy and the wall, listening to their mother’s docile voice with drooping eyelids and a blissful soul, falling asleep far earlier than her sisters. She’d fight to stay up for the hymn, however, even when her tiny body ached from the playground playing, picture coloring tasks of the day. She’d always wait until the last resounding “all my love” to let her eyes shut and her body curl into Peggy’s.

The night she began to remember the things she’d shut out, her mother’s song flew into her head. Eliza disguised her tears just long enough to call her, to ask her to sing the song one more time. Catherine, taken back by the sudden request and the time of night, only let the confusion last for a heartbeat. She sighed into the song as if she were meant to sing it-it’s her song, she has taken command of it by the way it has engrained itself into her daughters’ memories. For a moment, Eliza is just a child tucked up to her chin in blankets, soothed by the breathing of her sisters and her mother’s forehead kisses. For a moment, she’d forgotten the way she’d closed her eyes to that song just a year before, with James’s weight over her body and resignation in her soul.

She’d forgotten.

Pain had been an abstract feeling until it became her normality. Each day became a choice; do I walk the line of a fog-filled existence, or do I let my bare feet touch the hot coals to get to the other side? For a while the coals had been enticing; the reddened embers underneath hadn’t seemed like much, and the promise of a brighter future felt closer and more attainable. But after the first night, after the entrapment of vivid memories and calling her mother, Eliza chose to escape into the fog.

Sometimes, Lisa asks her about Alex. Eliza begins to notice this early on, intuitive and curious about her current standings as if this were a classroom instead of a place of healing. She answers, recounting calls in the middle of the night when he couldn’t settle on a phrase for his writing, or the voice he would use when ordering takeout over the phone. Eliza recognizes the use of these questions, the way Lisa herself seems to sit back a bit when she asks them. The room expands a bit during these moments, broadening and brightening and making room for her to breathe. It’s lighter when she’s able to pull out her letters, share what she has chosen as she recites his words through widening grins.

“The letters make my day. It’s incredible-I can be coming home from class, hanging up my coat and there’s one in my pocket. The other day, there was one in the fridge with the eggs. Even today, with this one falling out of my bag…he knows when I’m down, and he’s always the first one there to help me back up. And he doesn’t do it for recognition, or for his own benefit.” It helps her breathe just thinking about her tucked-away moments of happiness, the way they brighten and lift and pull her away from everything for a bit. She settles back on the couch, holds the old math test in both hands as precious cargo as Lisa allows her a moment of reflection. When she looks up the air hangs a bit heavier, almost unnoticeable except for Lisa’s near silent sigh, not so well hidden from Eliza’s skills of perception. She’s tempted to ask what might be bothering her therapist but stops herself. There is still a bubble of safety. This zone of comfort is an enjoyable break from the unavoidable.

“What does Alex think about your separation?”

A question that knocks her from her sanctuary; his name has not yet been wrapped around bad feelings, and her intention to keep him from the association with words like hurt or sad has been slowly slipping from her grasp from the moment she’d met him. She shrugs at first, folding and unfolding the latest letter in busied fingers. Eliza watches each intricate crease of the paper come together seamlessly, then fall back apart with her own actions. It feels unfair.

“He’s…dealing with it. We’re working through it.”

“Do you talk about it often with him?” Eliza, unwilling to let the initial desire to hide  away upon the swell of emotions running relays through her torso, hums as she waits to formulate her response.

“I really believe in communication. Honesty is the one thing I’ve always tried to have…”

“…but?”

“But there are things I hesitate with. Like, when our appointment is over and I call him and he asks how everything went…sometimes, I don’t know what to say.”

“What do you want to say?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know. Sometimes I want to tell him everything, if I feel okay and I learned something new, or if you’ve told me that something might help us as a couple.” Eliza takes a pause, training her eyes on the flowerless cactus on Lisa’s windowsill. The hum of the cheap electric fountain has become a permanent installation to her own breathing pattern, it seems, and she rides with the feeling as she sorts herself out. “Sometimes, I don’t want to say anything at all. Honestly, there have been days where I’ve left here feeling ten times worse than when I came, and I just want to go home and process it all on my own.”

“And do you?”

“Usually, but I just-I feel so bad. I don’t want to drag him down, but I also don’t want to leave him in the dark. It’s the communication, I just…I end up feeling like I’m keeping secrets from him.”

Lisa nods. She jots a few things down, Eliza envisioning the connection of lines and patterns that indicate an answer, some kind of sign. Still shaking over the earlier memories, it is a welcomed moment of reprieve to sit and watch her therapist work. It’s the way she brings it back to James that makes her so brilliant, so compatible to Eliza’s past and her mindset. She explains subconscious actions as if they were second nature. It’s not you, it was him. You’re not a bad person if you don’t share, you’re human. Alexander should understand, if his notes are any indication of how he feels about you. It’s worth a conversation. It’s this validation that carries her through, the thought that her actions have a cause and a purpose. That validation is freeing, and Eliza breathes a sigh of relief just by the nurturing look the crosses over Lisa’s kind eyes.

It’s become a task to leave the office, shrug on her coat and fasten each button, carry herself down to a car she’s called to give her time to sit and process everything. This night is no different; the relief is still there, but is coupled with the heavy exhaustion of remembrance-of the journal in her bag covered in numbing greys and violent flashes of red. It is a mark of her life, the lack of structure and the busy rush of painting, not too much but just enough to relay her feelings without having to write the words that would seal them to paper. It’s a step, toddling and nervous. The wave is still there, rolling along and carrying her mindlessly with it, but her head pokes above the water. Fresh air has never felt more relieving.

“Hey, how was it tonight?”

“It was okay…” Her hesitation leaves a lingering pause on the line between them. The tires of her car roll gently along the pavement, occasionally squishing across piles of slushed snow and mud, browning them and wrecking their perfect, freshly fallen illusion. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it-not all of it, anyway.”

“Okay.” It is an immediate answer, one that comes in crisp through the line and tips up the corner of her mouth. “Want me to come over, or would you rather be alone?”

“Can we just talk tonight? Tell me a story?”

When Alex leads in to a tale from his economics class and some crazy feud with an upper-classman, when she leans her head over to feel the cold of the window on her cheek, there is something else that stirs within the roaring wave and the relief of Lisa’s words. She smooths a rosy pink in circular patterns over a fresh page of her journal, letting it build on the edge of her hand. The pigment is fresh, without a dent made on its surface although blacks and greys and reds within the same package have been replaced multiple times. Hope isn’t a feeling she’s been able to manifest on paper, but the look of its warmth within a wash of despair is something to hold on to.

[femsff]

4, 8, 11, 13, 23, 30, 34, 38 :)

Oooh, awesome! Thanks. 

I’ve included already answered ones below.

A Writer’s Ask Game

agwitow:

Send me an ask with the number(s) you’d like me to answer!

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

Started out as a pantser but after a few fic, I decided to give plotting a try. Am now a fully committed plotter.

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Definitely computer. My fingers tend to cramp up even when I write a little bit and when I write a page or so in a notebook (I often carry a notebook with me when I go somewhere but don’t want to drag the laptop with me), about 3/4th of it illegible to anyone who isn’t me. In a way, that’s a good thing I suppose considering some of my smuttier fics, but overall it’s just a pain. And I always get disappointed when I get around to typing out the notes because it looks like a lot more when written out!

4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

No, I have never been published. Maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it, but right now I don’t feel like my writing is “good enough” yet. No idea for an original novel either.

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?6.     Single or multiple POV?7.     Standalone or series?8.     Oldest WIP

Oldest WIP I’ve written for or does plotting also count? If it’s just written, then it’s probably my abandoned Down the Rabbit Hole (FFnet | AO3). I just... got stuck. And it was so incredibly frustrating and really stopped me from enjoying anything fic-related that I finally just said to hell with it and dropped it. I just checked and I stopped working on it in 2013... I still have the outline and everything though, so who knows?

9.     Current WIP10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t know, maybe I’m rare but I’ve never been one of those people who held specific authors up as their ideal. I used to read a lot of books (nowadays less so, because 1) am adult and have to adult and 2) because I read fanfic and often would rather write my own fic than read a book) and have some favorites  (all fiction) but nothing that really stands out.

12.  Describe your perfect writing space13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Hahaha! Are you sure you want to know?

Okay, so I get an idea. Often when I’m half asleep/dozing, in the shower or just doing something mindlessly. The ideas are usually specific scenes that I can see play out in my head, but occasionally it’s just a conversation/some dialogue. If I like it, I’ll try to force more by really focusing on it. If the muse wishes it, that tends to work. I’m rarely super excited about an idea that I’ll start working on it right away, and prefer to let it roll around for a while. See if it keeps popping up and more details are added. If it’s worth my time and energy, I suppose.

Once that happens, I’ll start writing down notes. I use OneNote to organize my fic ideas/plotting and have one notebook that’s simply for ideas; one section per idea and depending on the idea, it’ll just be a stream of consciousness (often peppered with questions for myself) or a bit more organized in different pages. Again, depending on how excited I am about the idea, this can be done in a day or it can take weeks/months where I’ll occasionally add some info.

Then, when I feel like I want to work on it some more, I’ll start to delve into the details. When is it set? What’s the beginning, middle and end? Which events do I want include but have no idea where yet? Is there specific dialogue or are there actions I want to maybe include at one point? If it’s an AU, AR or AT, I’ll start working on the differences from canon (who is in it, what’s their role, how does it deviate from canon). How long do I think this fic will be? I need to set a max number of chapters for myself, otherwise the story will just keep growing and I’ll keep adding stuff and in the end it’ll read like I just came up with more and more stuff simply so I wouldn’t have to end the story, rather than telling the story I wanted to tell in the beginning. 

Anyway, I start creating pages for the chapters and fill in the few things I already know. At this point I often also involve my beta and discuss the fic idea with her. Everything from that conversation goes into the ‘brainstorm’ section and I’ll work on the questions and suggestions that arose during the conversation. Then, I’ll start focusing on filling up the chapters with general outlines. That can be anything from “scene 1 Sam telling Jack (Sam pov); scene 2 introspection about changes (Jack pov)” to a paragraphed summary or even a scene completely written out. Sometimes it’s just “some shippy stuff here”, to let me know that at one point I need to lighten it up or bring them closer together. I go over all the chapter pages that way, but don’t necessarily fill them all out. I also make one page with a chapter overview, which is usually the numbered chapters with one or two lines about the content so I can see in one quick glance which things need working on. 

More thinking on the fic idea, sometimes even when sleeping and brainstorming with the beta usually follows, which in turn results in adding more details. The chapter pages get more specifics or maybe a “don’t forget to mention [character]”  or “now [# weeks] pregnant, mention that/include symptoms”. Also, depending on the story idea, I might need to do research. That can be canon/fanon stuff, but also scientific stuff, maybe a different language, create background information for original/rarely used canonical  characters, timeline, locations, RL world events, and so on. That also gets included in the notebook and, at some point, added to the relevant chapter.

Once my outlining is done and I feel comfortable to start  writing, I tend to just create a master document and start writing. Now, that’s not to say my whole outline is complete or that it’s something I must strictly adhere to. Additions and changes are made all the time, sometimes I’ll get stuck or realize a scene doesn’t work the way I envisioned it or the beta tells me something is missing. So, I go back to the notes and work on it. Then I go back to the fic and write, write, write.

Oh and I usually ask the beta to go over a chapter once I’ve finished writing it (or, if I’m stuck in a scene, I’ll ask her to look at it right away) and then I’ll go over the feedback, make changes, possibly discuss some of the things she mentioned, do some more editing and then I’ll go to the next chapter and write some more.

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmm. I’m not sure? I do know that when I’m stuck I tend to make a fruit salad or get snacks out in the hopes of it resulting in the required brainpower to keep going.

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?23.  Favourite author

I don’t think I really have a favorite author... I don’t like non-fiction, I always read fiction and often thrillers. Some of the books I always order and often reread are ones by Jilliane Hoffman and Ingrid Black.

As for fic, see my favorites/bookmarks on my profile on FFnet/AO3.

24.  Favourite genre to write and read25.  Favourite part of writing

Ooh, difficult to choose. I really love doing the research and plotting, but I think the best part of writing is ending up with the story you imagined before you even ‘put pen to to paper’. Also, managing to convey the emotions through the writing - like when a reader comments with how they also teared up, they had to stop reading a few times to catch their breath/get a grip on their emotions or were just overwhelmed by it all. That’s pretty neat.

26.  Favourite writing program27.  Favourite line/scene28.  Favourite side character29.  Favourite villain30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I have quite a few fic ideas I haven’t started writing yet. Not sure I can choose one. But one that I’ve had for a long time, like ~6 years, and even started writing on (but then discarded that because it wasn’t a good opening) is for Woman In Blue. It’s a first-person fic, a style I actually kinda hate and would probably back-button right away if I saw one of my favorite authors use in a new fic... anyway, it’s Mark Carter in first person, writing about Sam (and to a smaller extent, Jack) and all the things he learned about her life after her death - she and Jack died in a blaze of glory, defending Earth against a Replicator attack that also prompted Disclosure.

The Dark31.  Least favourite part of writing32.  Most difficult character to write33.  Have you ever killed a main character?34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

There are so many scenes I’ve struggled with, most recently in Unmade Plans (chapter 8 specifically, that one really was a fight and I’ve rewritten it probably a dozen times) but the hardest was probably the Sam/Klorel scene in Only the Stubborn Survive. Those of you who’ve read the fic will know which scene I mean.

35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote37.  First sentence or your current WIP38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

I’m not quite sure. A lot of them start out as weird ideas! The end result as you see them are soooo different. Maybe Consequences of Being Touched, because there were quite a few risque scenes in there?

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?42.  How do you feel about love triangles?43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

It depends on the situation and the outline. I’ve thrown outlines out of the window at times because something else turned out to work much better once you actually reach that point in your story, but I’ve also rewritten a scene a dozen times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it in the outline.

44.  How much research do you do?45.  How much world building do you do?46.  Do you reread your own stories?47.  Best way to procrastinate48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?50.  [Other question—ask me anything]

Well, those were fun but also tricky! Guess I shouldn’t have skimmed the list before rb’ing, haha. No just kidding, I loved answering them. Thanks!

[coplins]

Ask the Author

I was tagged by @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell and figured I’d shock you all by doing it. O.o’ 

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Fly Away Little Bird - a heartbreaking Samifer (+Michaen) where Sam has been sexually abused growing up and Lucifer holding off from putting the moves on Sam is the key to their future longevity as a couple. It's very much inspired by my best friends growing up as well as my parents that all have been victims of either incest or sexual child abuse. It's halfway done, but I'm holding off on continuing for now.

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

The series Brothers and Mishaps. Except for the first part that I sorta like. :)

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Mostly chronological, but sometimes I write scenes out of order and have to suffer through the frustration of not being allowed to publish until I've written what's in between.

4) favorite character you’ve written

I need to choose? Aw shucks. Sasha, an OC in Volatile Chemistry. Michael in Little Bird. Dick Roman and Dean in Packrunners. Oh oh! Neda, angel OC in The Depraved. And Lucifer in bloody everything.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Dick Roman in Packrunners.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Probably lots and yet I come up blank.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Enthusiastic. I usually ask people if they've heard of fanfiction and if they haven't it gives me the opportunity to present it to them as something else than 'gay porn'. I mean, I write explicit content by all means. But my stories are often as not book length and nothing wrong with smut but I'm not a good enough writer to write 500 pages of porn and keep it interesting. ;) If it ain't dark and plotty it isn't my jam to write.

8) favorite genre to write

Mixed. That's why I love fanfic. I don't have to pick a genre. Like in Meet the family where I got to combine dark drama/romance/mystery. But if I have to pick one? "Loving the bad guy". What do you mean, it's not a genre? Of course, it is! I love writing dark fics where the protagonist isn't a good guy and has irredeemable flaws but we love them anyway because we can understand them.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Everything might inspire me, but if I'm going to single out one thing... Music and lyrics. I'll put on headphones and walk back and forth in my living room with the story unfolding in my head, nudged in the direction the lyrics take me. I used to go on long walks with headphones but I can't do that anymore because I've got a dog these days and I can't have headphones while walking with him and feel guilty when going out without him.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

Silence unless I'm very familiar with the lyrics of the music playing. With or without people around doesn't matter. I'm good at zoning out background noise that isn't music and I like to have people around me. When I still lived in Stockholm I liked to sit in a bar or café to write, absorbing the energy of people around me and letting background chatter inspire me.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

EVERYTHING! Grammar, definitely. I think I've gotten better at everything more or less, though.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Action-filled sequences. Fight scenes. They're hard, okay? 

13) your strengths as an author

Flawed characters, I think. I think I'm good at giving characters flaws and let them keep those flaws even if they risk alienating the reader.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Hells yeah, I do! The Same song might end up on several playlists. If you search me out on Spotify (Helena Zeegers) you'll find several public playlist for my fics or just for pairings.

15) why did you start writing?

Arting and writing are things I've always done. But writing fanfic? I'd read a couple of fics and got inspired at the same time as I didn't find the perfect fic and... well if it isn't there you need to write it yourself. That's the law.

Also, I'm originally more of an artist and I'd been making fanart before but that was for books and I didn't feel good enough to do it for existing people where rights and wrongs were so obvious.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Aleksandr 'Sasha' Chaadayev.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

There's nothing wrong with writing 'said' or 'says'. Anyone claiming otherwise is a pretentious twat preoccupied with their own importance rather than the flow of the story. The reader doesn't care for synonyms for 'says' unless it describes a very significant way of speaking. Like 'rages', 'whispers', 'sniffles'.

Oh, and don't let anyone shame you for using italics to underline how a word is spoken or thought. Some say it makes you a bad writer, but it allows you to dictate exactly how a sentence will sound in the head of the reader. But be careful of using italics for flashbacks or dreams because long sections in italics will make a reader unfocused and lose interest.                

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

George R. R. Martin because how amazing he was at not letting us choose whom to root for simply by shifting POV and thus allowing us to relate to characters we thought of as bad guys before the shift came. Robert Jordan for how well he described characters.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Mostly in my head because I'm an idiot.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Both.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

HOLY FUCK THIS IS GOOD WHY DID I EVER DOUBT MYSELF FUCK YEAH THIS IS AWESOME!! *also cringes forever over bad grammar*

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Lots of things. That's why I write them. I'm not here to make you comfortable. I like to challenge myself. As such, I tend to write things that go against my nature, that makes me cringe inwardly. I do have one unpublished fic - Burn Me - where I try to make the characters be as dark as possible, doing things that make me want to hide under the bed and shake my head in denial.

Oh, also kid fics, canon'verse, and established relationships. But that's more a thing of lack of interest as well as crippling boredom.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Everything. I've drawn on everything and anything while writing. But my love for nature as well as every past relationship I've had, has influenced my writing a lot. You'll see how many of my fics that integrate animals because of it.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Bwahahaha! Yep. I know how to make poisonous gas and one type of exploding 'bomb' out of things you have at home because of my writing. Don't worry, though, my empathy levels are so high that'd it never cross my mind to actually use that knowledge.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Sam should wear a shirt saying ‘Fight Me!’ or ‘Come at me, Bro!’. One of these days he’s going to step on the toes of the wrong person and the results won’t be pretty. Maybe the wrong person will be Nick. Nick’s lips curve into a condescending smile. “Sounds about right.” Right now, Nick’s more amused than angry at Sam for trying to provoke him. Sam’s not stepping on his toes, only stomping around in the general vicinity of his feet.

Alright, folks. I’m tagging you lot in case you’re interested in reading my answers rather than to force you to answer. But if you’re a writer I’ll happily read them if you do answer. :)

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