#my other ones got dull meh

[necroticghost]

new blades too so my hair color won't be the only thing bleeding in the shower

[ordinary-barbie]

sexy to someone - porco galliard x reader

summary: After scrolling social media you're feeling particularly insecure about your looks. Your boyfriend, Porco, is determined to convince you that you really are pretty.

word count: 2.3k words

tags: fem!reader, pet names (babe and baby), reader has a tooth gap bc I'm nothing if not self-indulgent, dirty talk, oral (fem receiving), face sitting, vaginal fingering, doggy style, breast play, praise kink, consent checks, reader is self-conscious about her body and struggles with mental health issues

minors and ageless blogs dni.

title comes from the song "sexy to someone" by Clairo.

Normally you loved scrolling through social media, but you just couldn't do it today. If you saw one more vacation photo or one more bachelorette party with someone's former sorority sisters, the already deep pit in your chest would cave in. And it wasn't anyone's fault: you couldn't get mad at your friends or random influencers and celebs for simply posting about their lives. To put it delicately, you were just feeling like a steaming pile of garbage compared to everyone else on your Instagram feed.

Today you hated pretty much everything about your looks. Your tooth gap looked like an eyesore. Your eyes seemed dull and sleepy. Your nose? Meh. Your figure? Nothing to write home about. It was a wonder that anyone liked your Instagram photos at all, and especially unbelievable that you managed to snag a boyfriend, especially someone like Porco Galliard.

Porco was an absolute babe. You'd never been hugely into blondes, but something about him and his undercut had got your heart racing when you met him at a frat party that your bestie Pieck, a Delta Zeta, had invited you to. You were always pretty reserved, and especially nervous to be around a bunch of frat dudes. Luckily, Porco eased your nerves by making you laugh, and the rest was history.

He was funny, confident, and hot as hell, while you were more reserved. When you'd first gotten together, you felt like the nerdy female protagonist in an 80s teen movie who managed to land the most popular guy in school. That had subsided after five years of dating, but now you couldn't help but feel the insecurity clawing at your brain again. Porco could easily get any woman he wanted - why you, of all people? Was he simply settling until someone better came along?

You rolled over onto your stomach and buried your face into one of the couch's armrests, quietly sobbing. Why were you like this? Why couldn't you be hotter so you could look like someone who actually belonged with Porco? Porco shouldn't be with someone like you. There were plenty of cute sorority girls he could've gone after in college, including Pieck or your other friend Sasha.

You recognized (thanks to months of therapy) that you were in a thought spiral, but you felt powerless to stop it. Normally you would go on your phone to distract yourself, but since social media had triggered your insecurities, you decided to settle for a nice little depression nap. That ought to make you feel better, right?

-

When you woke up, you didn't feel as crushingly awful as you did before, but you were still in a bit of a shitty mood. You snuggled tightly in your blanket and stared up at the ceiling, not even moving when Porco came home from work.

"Hey babe, I'm home! Traffic was nuts today - that podcast you recommended to me honestly saved my ass from dying of boredom," Porco joked, kicking his shoes off and making his way into the kitchen.

When you turned your head towards Porco but didn't react, his cheery expression morphed into worry. "Baby, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"It's nothing, don't worry," you hurriedly assured him, not wanting to be a burden, especially since he'd had a long day at work.

Unfortunately, Porco was a stubborn motherfucker, so he kept prying. "Come on, don't do that thing where you try to sweep shit under the rug. I can tell something's bothering you. You know you can tell me anything."

You sat up, protectively wrapping your arms around your midsection and chewing at your bottom lip. "I just - why are you with me, Porco?" you asked, your voice wavering. "I mean, look at you. You could be with anyone you wanted and you settled for me."

Porco furrowed his brow. "Baby, where is this coming from? I picked you because you're funny and kind and fuckin' hot."

You snorted. You appreciated Porco complimenting you in his Porco way, but you weren't totally buying what he was selling. "Please, Porco. Gigi Hadid is fuckin' hot. Pieck is fuckin' hot. I'm just..." You gestured to yourself vaguely, making a face.

Porco scoffed, shaking his head. "First of all, Pieck is like a sister to me, so don't even go there. Second of all, yeah, Gigi Hadid is pretty, but she's not you. You're actually the hottest woman I know. I honestly feel like I outkicked my coverage here."

"Porco, stop acting like I'm some big prize," you insisted. "Especially when I scroll through social media and every woman I follow is pretty much a smokeshow, including my friends."

Porco said your name sternly, making you jump. "Is that where this is coming from? Babe, please don't compare yourself to Instagram. You know everyone curates their feed to only share the good shit, even the celebs."

"I know, but that doesn't change the fact that there's so many gorgeous girls out there, and I'm just...me," you responded, staring down at your lap.

"Hey! Look at me," Porco commanded, and you reluctantly met his gaze. "You are so desirable to me. I love you. And I wish I could fight your shitty brain for making you ever think otherwise."

You sighed. "Porco, I love you. I just wish I could see the person you see. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror earlier and just felt ugly. I hate that I can't just make these thoughts go away."

Porco moved closer to you, kissing both of your cheeks. "Babe, you are a fuckin smokeshow to me. Please let me prove it to you..."

"And just how do you plan to do that?" you asked, arching an eyebrow. You tried to look impassive but you couldn't help but rub your thighs together in anticipation.

"Like this," Porco simply replied, ghosting over your lips with his own. You shuddered, still amazed at how turned on Porco could make you without touching you. "But first - are you sure you want this? And you remember our safe word, right? Just say 'red' and I will stop, no matter what."

You nodded. Porco frowned. "Use your words, baby."

"Yes, I want this. Please touch me, Porco," you whined impatiently, your mind now clouded with lust.

"I mean damn, if you insist, babe," Porco joked before kissing you deeply. He draped his body over yours on the couch, suddenly enveloping you with the smell of his favorite cologne. It was heavenly.

Since your mouth was occupied, you tapped Porco's shoulder, and he instantly ceased his movements. "Everything good, babe?" he worriedly asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just - could we move it to the bedroom, please?" you shyly asked.

Porco smirked. "Okay, dirty girl," he teased, leading you by the hand into your bedroom. Once inside, he slammed the door with his foot, deeply making out with you and letting his hands roam all over your body. You made a motion to take your bra off but Porco stopped you in your tracks.

"Please let me do it, baby," Porco begged, and you happily obliged. After tossing your bra to the other side of the room, Porco shoved his hands under your shirt, massaging your breasts. "Man, I'll never get tired of these tits. They feel so good in my hands."

Porco bit at your bottom lip, and you let out a moan. Porco was driving you wild right now. "That's my good girl," he praised, and those four little words sent a shockwave straight to your core. "I love it when you moan so prettily for me. Now take those clothes off, baby."

That lit a fire under you. You quickly rid yourself of your t-shirt (really one of Porco's, a vintage shirt from the university you both went to) and sweatpants, standing nakedly in front of Porco except for a simple pair of black undies.

Porco let out a breath. "Oh fuck, baby. You're so goddamn sexy." You shyly smiled at him. "Now take a seat for me; I need to taste you."

You sat down at the end of the bed, gazing at Porco as he kneeled in front of you. The fact that he was still dressed in his light blue button-down, navy tie, and khaki slacks from work made this even hotter, somehow. Porco pushed your panties to the side, moaning when he saw gossamer strings of your slick clinging to the fabric.

Porco dove in, lapping at your clit with his tongue and grunting as you arched your back in pleasure. "Can't believe you think I'd want anyone else when I have the sweetest pussy right here. You taste so fuckin good, baby."

Your mind was blank, devoid of any coherent thoughts except for how fucking amazing your boyfriend was with his tongue. You were in the throes of ecstasy, grabbing at his hair to push his face even closer to you.

Porco removed his lips from your clit, eliciting a whine from you. "Easy there, baby," he said, chuckling. "I'm gonna eat you out; I just wanna finger fuck you too. Is that okay?"

Aroused, you reached for his hand, but Porco tutted, shaking his head at you. "Use your words, babe," he reminded you.

"Porco I need your fingers inside me," you whined. "Need your mouth and your fingers in my pussy."

Porco smirked, a dark glint in his eye. "Can't possibly deny you when you ask me so nicely." He returned to sucking on your clit while his fingers pumped in and out of your opening. "Babe, I can't believe you're so wet for me. I could fuckin drown in your pretty little cunt."

You gasped, feeling a warmth in your belly. You felt like you were about to burst, and Porco could sense it too. "Come for me, baby," Porco encouraged you, fingering your clit. "Make a fuckin' mess on my face."

Before you knew it, you were cumming, coating Porco's face with your wetness. Porco wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, moaning happily as he licked his fingers.

"Let me return the favor," you offered, your gaze focused on the way Porco's erection strained in his pants.

"Nah, not this time," Porco refused. "This is all about you, baby."

You softened you gaze, beaming at your boyfriend. You truly did adore this man.

"Be a good girl, lose the panties, and lie on your stomach," Porco instructed as he unbuckled his belt. "Get that pretty ass of yours in the air for me."

You quickly obeyed, tossing your underwear onto the floor and lying face down on the bed, sticking your ass in the air. Porco hummed appreciatively, rubbing your butt cheeks in his hand and lightly biting at the skin before soothing the pain with his kisses. "Can't believe this amazing ass is all mine."

He got up from the floor, retrieving a condom from his bedside table to slide over his dick. You scooched farther up on the bed to give him more room, and the two of you moaned in unison as Porco pushed himself into your entrance. Porco had an average-sized cock, but what he lacked in length, he more than made up for in girth.

Porco growled as your cunt clenched around his length. "Fuckin love the way your pussy feels around me. So warm and so damn tight."

Porco pulled out of you and slammed back in, making you see stars. He pumped in and out, snapping his hips and muttering praises in your ears the entire time. You tightly gripped the sheets, feeling your body light up in pleasure every time the tip of his dick grazed that special spot that made your toes curl.

"Are you close?" Porco asked as you writhed under him. You hummed affirmatively, unable to form words anymore. "Me too. Play with your clit for me, baby. Let's cum together."

You rubbed at your clit, feeling a second orgasm about to wash over you. You came with a yelp, feeling Porco's cock spasm inside you as he spilled his seed into the condom, moaning your name. He tossed the used condom in the wastebasket next to his bedside table, and then two of you laid in bed for a few minutes, drenched in sweat and panting heavily.

"Porco...thank you. I needed that," you admitted, lovingly squeezing Porco's hand.

Porco tenderly looked at you, softly pecking your lips. "Of course, baby. You know I always want to make you feel good. And I hope me blowing your back out is proof that I actually think you're hot."

Your mouth dropped open. "Porco Galliard!" you shouted, playfully hitting him in the shoulder.

Porco snickered, but his face soon softened. "Seriously though, I'm glad I could give you what you needed. You know I love you so much, even on your bad-brain days."

You felt a warmth in your chest. Porco could be cocky, sarcastic, and crass, but he had the biggest heart. You were overwhelmed with love for this man who had been by your side through years of highs and lows, who always encouraged you and looked at you like you hung the moon in the sky.

"I love you so much, baby," you said, nuzzling into Porco's chest. He kissed the top of your head and tightened his grip around you.

"Hey babe?" you asked after a few minutes, wiggling a little in Porco's grip.

Porco cocked an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you're ready for round two already. I mean I'm down, but let a man take a shower first."

You good-naturedly rolled your eyes at him. "No, you dingus, I just have to pee."

"And they say romance is dead," Porco quipped, loosening his grip so you could get up and use the bathroom.

"Okay, mister drama king," you playfully replied. "Cut the sass and maybe I'll help you get cleaned up." You waggled your ass at him before disappearing into the bathroom.

Porco grinned, fondly gazing at you even while you were on the toilet. "You're incredible, you know that? I can't want to marry your ass someday."

You chuckled. Just Porco, being Porco - and you loved him for it.

[hexedwinchester]

Early seasons of SPN are superior

so I'm re-watching Supernatural (I'm always re-watching SPN, don't mind me) and I realised why the early seasons are so freakin good whereas the laters ones are a complete mess...

Horror was the core theme of Supernatural (yes, I'm not discarding the brothers' drama, I'll get to it in a minute). These beautiful scare tactics that they employed were amazing: the crib mobile toy rotating, shadows moving out of the corner of the eyes, toys going off, subtle bloody Mary reflections in the mirror, creepy skulls dug from the ground, the ghosts flickering. Hell yea they nailed 'Scary just got sexy' with these.

Don't get me started on the background music. Whimsical music crescendo, building up the anticipation. The rock music blaring through the Impala. What happened to the cool ass music in the later seasons? They just played this weird, sad tune like someone's blowing raspberries to show grief and that's it!

Monster of the week theme and the lores/legends in early seasons were much, much better than S12's Foundry or the later season episode with bizarre tentacle porn thingy (you know which one I'm talking about). It just didn't feel the same. The stories were poorly written and even more poorly executed.

Early seasons used to be purely about Sam and Dean (as it should have been throughout) Them against the world, heaven and hell. No dumbass angel lurking in the background like a pathetic third wheel. No king of hell bitching about his sad childhood for two whole seasons. No Soccer mom half assing their way into hunting.

Foreshadowing was done so beautifully! Everytime I re-watch the early seasons I find a few bits that connects to something that happened initially in say S1-2. The parallels are done beautifully and writing is good, and I mean 'I wanna use this quote as a wallpaper' good.

The struggle for the boys was real. They had to do their own research, save their own asses, stitch their wounds, pop their dislocated shoulders back in the place. Later seasons? Bunker has answer to everything, angel healing wounds with a flash of light, Lucifer bringing Sam back from the dead without asking for anything (and no, taking him to Jack is not a good enough bargain), Jack healing wounds or whatever. Where is the damn struggle?! Where is the hero's journey?!

I miss the beautiful, colourful motel rooms that had its own personality. I HATE the bunker (yes I know a lot of people love it because Dean has a good shower, they have a home etc, etc) but no! Bunker is lame and boring and monotonous. There isn't a single thing I like about it. Gimme back my motel rooms with the sunburst mirror!

Story arc or lack thereof from S12 onwards. The main plot just got duller and duller from S12 onward and it felt like the writers got lazy and stopped putting efforts. There was no build up and the plot felt forced. The main arcs didn't feel exciting enough. BMoL and Kelly's pregnancy: the who and why? Jack: predictable. Other Micheal and Micheal Dean: meh, next! God as the big bad: interesting but I don't think they have it in them to execute this correctly.

Irrelevant/Unnecessary characters and their mini plots. S1-5 focuses purely on the brothers and that's what I'm here. I don't care how and why an idiot angel opened purgatory. It sounded more like a dull spin off plot than main story arc. I don't care about prophets and their lives (yeah Kevin is in Advance Placement, what am I to do with that?). I don't care about the different angel garrisons at war (again a plot for a lame spin off). I don't care about Crowley, his son or his relationship with Rowena. Tell me how this affects the boys. If it doesn't, please let's move on. Whatever was going on with Cole Trenton was pointless. I don't care about Mary and her hunting escapades with BMoL. I don't care about Kelly's pregnancy. The multi-universe and all characters they vomited back in the show with this. Not needed! Let Charlie, Gabriel and Bobby's memory rest in peace. Nick's killer storyline and wayward sisters. Enough said. Empty and the deal with Cas and Meg 2.0? Boring! Billy playing the bad cop, the whole death's library? Poorly executed and it turned into a bowl of cold spaghetti. In the end, the focus moved from the boys to useless characters and mini plots. Fuck that! Supernatural is about Sam and Dean and that's about it.

The direction. Later seasons lack the beauty of scenic shots of the landscape, close on up the boys' faces, the lights hitting their faces to show their beauty. Camera angles and slow panning shots. I miss the beauty that were the early seasons.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Bit Slow Round These Parts

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Mhok is about the most indulgent boyfriend on the planet. Why they dressed as 1930s gangsters for the wedding? I have no idea idea, but it’s adorable. IFYLITA mark 2? And they’re even dancing together using bits of the same steps that were used that show too. Cute nod.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 6 of 10 - Everything but the kitchen sink includes lesbians apparently. Excellent. Carry on. Also a lot of filler about the sides. (Boring, stop that.) I wish the doctor were a little bit more of a multifaceted character (and less evil snakey), and that we had some of his backstory + Tharn. If we saw them as kids, having a longer true friendship, it would make Tharn’s attitude a little bit more sympathetic and forgiving.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - I like this show, but it’s awfully one-sided in the romance arena. I mean shouldn’t they be trying to support and make each other happy? Why does it always have to come from Him? Also, I’m constantly worried about the fact that Nail doesn’t eat any vegetables. His digestive track must be in serious distress. And if the boy is a bottom?! Look I have concerns is all I'm saying, I hope he's getting his fiber along with the dk. Meanwhile... Mom confrontation! Always fun.  

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 9 of 10 - Now I’m having a hard time keeping the twins straight. Who’s getting beat up for whom, what’s going on? No matter who, First caught himself a live one. I like those bits.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 14 - I got little crumbs of my sides but not enough, and then they dropped the mpreg bomb. Kinda like blowing the BL diaper. Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - They are so cute. And mostly such good communicators. Except evil dad is evil! I didn’t have OffGun tango on my bingo card, but I'm happy to check it off. After making everyone sing, GMMTV is now making everyone dance. I much prefer it. Kiss came a bit out of nowhere. But it was sweet. 

A few minutes later...

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know, I feel like this just wasn’t good enough for the class of talent involved. Which means it’s mostly the story and script's fault. In the end I kinda just wanted Guy to get the guy.

In cluclusion:

A lack-luster story about a group of bakers coping with (mostly) a shoddy script that could not be saved by either the beauty nor the talent of the actors involved. It suffered for lack of narrative backbone and so did I. 6/10

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 8fin - Mai is an adorable clingy boyfriend, and that bit was kind of cute.

Summation:

Office clown, Jade, a manic pixie dream dork, is courted by the new intern, Mai. This show is right in my wheelhouse but it fell flat for me. I wish it had lived up to the concept behind the title (if nothing else). If we had done more of Jade‘s family and the reasons behind his self-worth struggles and self-acceptance issues, they might have been easier to bare. Without backstory, the show had no through line. In the end, Jade was a largely intolerable character, and Mai felt flat and lacking in personality. I was disappointed with this show, and I hope they don't blame the pair for the poor ratings. 6/10

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) 1626 ep 19 of 24 - Meh. So dull. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I’m not really interested in the late addition love triangle concept.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - a bit too frenetic and manic for me, this one. Glasses boy is best boy. But I’m kind of confused as to was actually going on with this show. Including whether I like it or not.

I Became the Main Role of a BL (Japan Sun Gaga) ep 1-3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen - it should finish airing at the very beginning of the year, so I decided to wait and watch all 3 back-to-back. 

It's Airing But...

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

Night Dream (Sat YT) 6 eps - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF  

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

It's done and I didn't, or we can't

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother. So I won't.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) - This is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have a spare day.

Crazy work load right now so no idea when that will be. (End of year is a bear for me.)

Honestly I'm gonna have an epic number of dnf's this year for me.

Next Week Looks Like This

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

Also my best ofs are coming.

Don't think I'll do a stats round up this year, everything progressing as before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

(Last week) - sorry, forgot to link it.

It's 2024 people! Round ups are coming!!!! Leave a comment or an ask, if you have something specific you want addressed.

[pianokantzart]

The One To Blame (Part 2)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 A followup to my The One To Blame one shot. I took a poll asking if I should keep things lighthearted, but "hurt that plumber harder" won, so....

Content Warning: Blood, torture, vomiting, graphic descriptions of violence.

Needless to say things get a little rough, so I totally get anyone that wants to dip out or hold off until part three (i.e, the comfort part of this hurt/comfort fic.)

____________________

Luigi knew that he had put a fire flower in his pocket some time ago. Chances were it got smashed at some point between then and now, so he was unsure if it would still work. Even if it did, there was little good it could do against a monster who breathed flames that easily outmatched the heat of any powerup. But it was all he had. A useless powerup was better than no powerup at all, if only he could move his arms and reach for it.

Bowser's grip remained firm as he tromped through the halls of his castle, the troops that Luigi had so skillfully evaded just earlier clearing the way. Some who saw the man dangling helplessly in Bowser’s fist took on a look of sadistic smugness. Others didn’t care at all, wanting nothing more than stay out of the way of their king as he rushed past them, up a flight of steps, and into uppermost room of a fortified tower, where he shut the door behind him.

The dark cell was empty save for some old broken chains attached to the wall, suggesting that the cramped quarters had once served as a prison of sorts before being abandoned altogether. Bowser lit overhanging lamps with a puff of flames, filling the claustrophobic space with a dull orange light. “Beg.” The demand was spoken between clenched teeth uncomfortably close to Luigi’s face, acrid breath burning against his cheek like hot steam. “Come on, I know you can do it. I’ve heard it before.” Bowser shifted Luigi in his fist, curling the tips of his claws into his chest, stomach, and thigh. “Beg.” The sensation of talons slowly digging caused Luigi’s breath to hitch. “Don’t! don’t– it hurts! Stop! Please!!”

The mounting pressure didn’t cease. He felt his clothing tear and skin gave way soon after. He screamed, straining to remember the conversation he had overheard earlier, sputtering to find something that would soothe Bowser’s wounded ego. “You’re right! You’re right! You’re right! I should've never touched that warp pipe! I shouldn’t have come to this world! It was a mistake!” The claws stopped digging. The hold loosened slightly, his claws freeing themselves from the shallow puncture wounds they had created. Luigi felt what he knew to be blood soaking into his torn clothes, splotches of red spreading across his collared shirt and denim overalls. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that when we first met.” He added with a sob, “I-... I’m sorry… your… majesty?” The respectful title felt sour on his tongue, his stomach twisting with shame even as the suffocating grip continued to soften, and Bowser’s look of rage became a self-satisfied smile. “That’s better.” Luigi took the opportunity to once again try to reach for the fire flower in his pocket, but Bowser– feeling him struggling– once more tightened his grip while his free hand reached over to squish the man’s face between his thumb and forefinger.

“You know… Princess Peach was so eager to ruin our wedding trying to save you…”

“Not just me! She was trying to save the Kongs too!” Luigi tried to argue, though with his cheeks painfully pressed in the koopa’s grip it came out as “Nuff jush meh! shewesh tine ta sefta konds tuh!” Bowser paid little attention, and continued… “... I wonder if that would be the proper wedding gift? I’ll let her keep you, just so long as she follows through with her marriage vows.”

When Luigi’s face was finally released he racked his mind for the next thing to say. The right thing to say. Suddenly, his mouth moved before his brain could form a plan, and all at once he found himself speaking from the heart. “Why can’t you just leave her alone?!”

The volume was soft, but the tone was sharp. Bowser responded with equal impulsivity, rearing back and flinging his captive into the wall. “Why!? I’m King of The Koopas! And what are you!?” Luigi had just enough time to adjust his body so that his back took the brunt of the impact instead of his skull, saving him from being immediately knocked out. Rolling to the ground, he heard the tyrant continue...

“You… the stupid underling of an undersized nobody! You’re going to wish I never stooped so low as to ask for your name!” Luigi braced his body up on an arm and dug his hand into his pocket. The fire flower was still there, slightly smashed but radiating warmth. As soon as he grabbed it he felt its energy coursing through him, offsetting the pain of his injuries enough to let him climb to his feet.

Bowser, seeing the powerup activate, charged his captive like a bull, horns positioned to run him through. Luigi met the attack with a flash of bright green flame intended to do nothing more than disorient, and in that he was successful. Bowser was lost for a second of blindness, barreling into the wall as Luigi dove out of the way. Evading the flying debris he scampered toward the door they’d come through. It was heavy, but it had been blessedly left unlocked, and as soon as he wrenched it open he slipped through and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. _____

The sound of stone shattering reverberated through the castle. Peach heard the rumble. Her heart stilled, and her grip on the bars of her cage tightened. “Kamek!” she called, turning her desperation toward the magikoopa guarding her. “Please, you have to stop him!” “With all due respect Princess, until you become the queen of The Dark Lands I don’t take orders from anyone except His Highness.” “I just want Luigi safe! I’ll agree to anything if you’ll only–!” “Even if I believed you… which I don’t…” Kamek interrupted, placing hand on his cheek, recalling the punch that knocked him unconscious the last time Peach agreed to wed, “... once he gets this angry, there is nothing even I can do to stop him.”

Peach opened her mouth to respond, when a flash of red appeared in the corner of her eye. She and Kamek turned in unison to see Mario appear in the entrance of the throneroom, charging toward them at top speed with a look of unshakable determination on his face. He was not nearly quick enough. Kamek, with ample time to draw his wand, cast his spell, and before his would-be attacker was even halfway across the room he was encased in a field of blue magic. “Hee hee hee! Cocky, aren’t we?” Kamek cackled. The captured plumber replied with nothing but a frustrated grunt, gritting his teeth as he was lifted in the air. “No!” Peach shouted. She threw herself against the bars in frantic desperation, but they did nothing but clang noisily under her efforts. Kamek barely even spared her a glance, his attention fixed firmly on his prize. “That’s two plumbers I’ve caught in one night! Although… I believe Lord Bowser’s orders regarding you were to ‘kill on sight.’” With that, he intensified the spell with a twirl of his wand, certain that the sordid affair would be over in seconds. But then, Mario’s body– or what he thought to be Mario’s body– crumbled in a very unusual way. There was no blood or breakage, but instead the little man fell apart like a dry sand castle, disappearing into the air as a fine powder. Kamek stood for a moment in stunned silence. Wand still outstretched he stared at the empty air in utter befuddlement, noticing all too late when Mario appeared once more, emerging from his hiding place behind Bowser’s throne. Armed with a hammer, he leapt down the steps leading up to the throne with a single bound, and swung. The magikoopa was downed with a single blow that sent him flying across the room, slamming into the base of one of his king's many statues. There he lay slumped and still, his cracked glasses sitting crooked on his face.

Princess Peach beamed with joy and relief. “Mario!” "Princess!" Mario rushed to her side. Before she could ask anything else he hurriedly confirmed her suspicions as he pulled a ring of keys from his back pocket. “I had a spare double cherry. Toad is busy getting us an escape vehicle, so I provided my own backup. Now hold on, I’ll get you out of here...” “No! Mario, wait!” She reached through the bars, took the plumber by the wrist and slipped the key ring out of his hand. “It’s Luigi! Bowser, he- it’s all my fault! I–” She bit down on her lower lip, cutting herself off. No. Now was not the time for panicked confessions. Not a second could be wasted wallowing in guilt. In an instant she collected herself and tried again. “Bowser took your brother! I heard a crash coming from the westmost tower. I think that’s where they went. You have to go. Now.” "Luigi?" A troubled look flashed across Mario's face. He nodded, but conflict shone bright in his blue eyes as he slowly backed away. Worry for his brother demanded he hurry, but concern for Peach stilled him. What if the key she needed wasn’t on the ring? What if Kamek regained consciousness? What if someone else caught her trying to escape? Perhaps he should try hitting the door to her cage with the hammer... would that be faster? Would that draw too much attention? “Go on,” Peach urged, jangling the keys in her hands, “I won’t be too far behind, I promise!”

Again, Mario nodded, this time with greater determination. "Please, be careful!" With that, he turned and sped out of the throne room, leaving the princess to sort through the dozens of keys in search of one that could unlock her cell.

_____ Bowser pulled his head from the wall and shook the rubble from his horns as his fiery red eyes glanced about the room, quickly finding the ajar door and the speckled trail of blood leading out of it.

He let out a grunt of annoyance, but he felt little more than that. Luigi hadn’t gotten far, he could still smell the man’s open wounds. Even before Bowser exited the cell he could already sense that Luigi had gone up the stairs to the battlements rather than down them toward the main corridors, probably preferring to try and find an escape route along the castle rooftops rather than risk the crowded halls down below in his injured state.

A risky choice. A stupid choice. There was nowhere to hide up there. Outside, thundering clouds of ash blacked out the sky, robbing the land of any semblance of sunlight. The world was lit solely by the molten rock that flowed about the castle’s base and the golden embers that floated about the air– burnt remnants of what little managed to grow in this accursed land.

Luigi, trying to ignore the oppressive heat, ran along the tops of the castle wall, one hand over his wounded stomach, the other putting pressure on his injured thigh. Thankfully no organ or artery had been punctured as far as he could tell, but at this rate moving too recklessly would sap him of strength before he found a place to hunker down and rest– some secluded archway or tucked away window sill, where he could settle his heartbeat, and tend his wounds. He didn't make it far before heard Bowser’s thundering footsteps fast approaching, his predatory silence far more frightening than any taunt or threat. But while the koopa was fast– far faster than any human– what he had in speed Luigi matched in agility, even in his injured state. Turning toward his pursuer, Luigi shielded himself behind another burst of green flame. He dove beneath Bowser’s legs and weaved about his flicking tail, taking advantage of every tiny gap and blindspot like a skittering insect, aiming flashes of fire at the koopa's eyes until finally Bowser– at the end of his already limited patience– tucked himself completely into his shell, and spun. “Whirling Fortress” was the name of the maneuver. He rarely ever used it, in most cases it was overkill, and if Luigi hadn’t had a powerup to absorb the blow no doubt the spikes would’ve done far more harm than sending him flying into the parapet. But it did the trick, disempowering and disorienting the green plumber enough for Bowser to once more take hold of him, and this time he intended to take full advantage of his position.

After pinning Luigi to the ground with one hand, Bowser grabbed the calf of his uninjured leg with the other, and twisted it all the way around like a ragdoll. A pained screech filled the scorching air as the joints of Luigi's knee, hip, and ankle snapped. The scream rose in volume and pitch as bone shattered soon after, until at last his leg was left twisted in a ghoulish, unnatural position. Bowser, satisfied, released his hold to let the mangled limb fall limp to the stone floor. “There. No more running away. No more hiding.” Luigi quivered from the shock, wide eyed and whimpering incoherently, but as pathetic as he looked, Bowser was surprised he had maintained consciousness. His vague sense of being impressed quickly turned into disgust, however, when then whimpering became retching, and Luigi poured the contents of his stomach onto the ground. “Look at you…” Bowser grumbled. He took hold of the back of Luigi’s head and smeared it against the mess he had made like he was disciplining an animal. “You can’t even take a little pain without losing all of your dignity.” “P-please.” Luigi sputtered, unaware that this time begging would merely trigger a fresh flash of rage. The grip on the back of his skull tightened, claws digging into his scalp as his face was brought back down against the bile-smeared stone with staggering force.

His nose was first to give way, his breathing immediately clogged with blood and a new, searing pain that reached behind his eyes. When he felt his head yanked back for a second blow he struggled to turn his face to save the nose from further damage. This resulted in his jaw and cheek taking the brunt of the impact. He barely succeeded in spitting out broken teeth before the third impact stole his will to struggle, and the fourth plunged him into darkness. The pain continued in unconsciousness, shockwaves of agony rippling out into every part of his body. Seconds felt like hours of drowning in the taste of rust and vomit before he at length awoke, dangling in the air by his wrist, held tight in that familiar, scaly grip. Bowser was talking to him… saying something… Luigi tried to open his eyes. Only one would open halfway, giving him a blurred glimpse of a scowling, draconic face. “Did you hear me? I asked you what exactly your plan was,” Bowser huffed, impatiently repeating his question. “Did you think you could jump out at the last moment and save Peaches the way you saved your brother? That you could bide your time until you found the right opportunity to make a fool out of me again?” The violent grip on Luigi’s wrist made it clear that he wanted an answer. After a few gurgling breaths, Luigi managed to speak with an agonizing slowness, feeling like he was chewing sewing needles with every movement of his jaw. “I just… don’t wa..nt… you to… hurt… anyone,” he stuttered, barely audible. Bowser rolled his eyes. “Adorable. Unfortunately…” Luigi felt his wrist break. He let out a meek cry, immediately strangled by the pain of his shattered mouth. “...You are going to pay me back for everything you’ve done.” Bowser leaned in closer to ensure he was heard, even as his prisoner teetered on the very edge of consciousness. “Once your brother is dead, once Peaches is finally mine, only then will I end your life the way it should’ve ended when we first met!” Luigi was too lost in the fog of agony and bloodloss to properly comprehend what was being said, nor did he notice the distant thud of wooden doors being kicked open, but Bowser's attention was immediately drawn to the new arrival on the rooftops. He half-expected to see a troop of palace guards, rushing to assist in a pointless, but noble effort. To his pleasant surprise, Mario alone emerged from the doorway to the battlements, as if summoned by the whispered threat. He rushed toward them, hammer upraised. When he was close enough to get a good look at his brother, that confidence immediately evaporated and he froze, a look of utter horror and disbelief etched into every detail of his face. Bowser wished he had a camera, but he knew it would only be a second before the plumber’s horror turned to rage. To prevent any further resistance, he gripped Luigi by the skull and made his position clear: “One more step and I’ll tear his head off!”

This successfully kept Mario paralyzed. His feet remained fixed to the floor, chest heaving, teeth clenched, white-knuckle grip tightening around the handle of his hammer.

_____

Peach eventually found the key to her cage. It was bright silver and etched with the words “the key to my heart” in cursive letters, small enough to miss the first time she searched. Nauseated by the adornment, she hurriedly unlocked the door to her prison. Just as she emerged into freedom, the princess was startled by a cannonball crashing through the wall nearby. It wasn’t close enough to hurt her or the unconscious magikoopa, but it rattled her senses, and with her hands balled into fists she rushed to see who or what had created the sizable hole in the side of Bowser’s throne room.

She– to her utter delight– was greeted by Toad, calling to her from the deck of a stolen airship. It wasn’t one of those dinky clown cars or a Shy Guy balloon, but a true airship– built like a miniature galleon and equipped with loaded cannons.

Toad alone was at the helm, struggling to comprehend the controls, but learning quickly as he kept the ship steady.

Princess Peach immediately boarded the vessel on his invitation. She took a place in the crow's nest, and as they stuttered off toward the western tower she gave direction and kept lookout. They dipped low, flying close to the base of the castle to avoid as much attention as possible. Whenever a few unfortunate guards noticed the stolen ship and took aim to take them down, Peach called out their location, and Toad returned fire to great effect. These defensive measures, plus the earlier damage to the throne room, caused a small crowd of guards in clown cars to gather at their tail, but their galleon proved swift and sturdy, easily outpacing their pursuers.

_____

Mario tried to think of a plan, but he was utterly transfixed by his brother’s body. It didn’t look real, smeared and crushed and bent all wrong. He could hear and see shallow, labored breath, joined by a groan of agony when Bowser began walking forward while dragging his broken victim behind him. Mario didn't know what to do. "Save him!" his mind screamed, barking substanceless commands in a flood of terror, "Get him out! Do something! Fight back!"

“The hammer.” Bowser growled, “drop it.” Mario obeyed. No sooner had the weapon left his grip he was plucked up in Bowser's free hand, arms pinned to his sides in a vice-like grip. Bowser, now with a plumber in each hand, slammed Mario into the parapet to ensure there was no powerup at play. Mario instinctively responded with a pained grunt, but otherwise seemed to pay no notice of his own position, keeping his attention fully on his brother. “Luigi!” He yelled, tears cracking his voice and blurring his vision. Luigi didn’t respond, but laid slack with his head still wrapped in Bowser's hand, the slow rise and fall of his chest the only indication that he was still alive. “You know, I originally planned for you to watch him die,” Bowser admitted with a tired sigh. “But I changed my mind. I think I’m done with you.”

No sooner had he said this, he reared back and threw Mario over the wall. A steep vertical drop awaited him, nine hundred feet down toward a wide river of molten rock.

______ Shading her eyes with her hand, Princess Peach caught a glimpse of Bowser atop the western side of the castle. She saw signs of a brief scuffle, then… a familiar red shape plunging over the side. Her heart stopped for a moment when she realized what she was seeing, and she urged Toad to increase the ship's speed despite the fact that they were already pushing the vehicle well beyond its limits. Toad, noting the panic in the royal's voice, did as he was told, and as the ship came into position with the stuttering groan of the overworked engine Peach leapt from the crow’s nest to catch her falling friend. Mario was snatched from the air with perfect precision. The floating properties of Peach’s dress cushioned the free fall just enough that when the two hit the deck of the ship, they were unharmed.

When Mario realized he was alive– saw that he was in good company– he reacted at first with a relieved sigh. The moment of joy was short lived, and his eyes were drawn back to the battlements overhead. “He-… he’s hurt!” The tone of his voice made Peach nauseous. Her fears all but confirmed, she held Mario a little tighter and turned to Toad. “Raise the ship’s altitude! Hone in on Bowser’s position! Hurry!”

“Yes, Captain Princess!” was the cheerful reply, Toad clearly not yet aware of the severity of the situation. With a salute he tugged on levers and twisted the great wooden wheel, drawing the bow of the ship upward at a sharp angle, sending them veering toward the rooftops where the shadow of Bowser loomed against the thundering black sky.

[pruneunfair]

Ranking OI maids.

23: Dobiella (The villainess maker)

The 20 people in the villainess maker fanbase have already agreed this girl is literally just Dobby as a anime girl from the way she speaks to the fact that their names sound similar. Most maids in OI tend to follow 2 personality traits: either they devoted to the point of nearly being husks or they are mean bullies who pick on their boss. Dobiella though... she takes that to a whole new level, girly isn't even a person she literally needs a purpose to live, even Ayla is creeper out by it, That hairstyle she has is wack too.

22: Lina (the tyrants perfumer)

Similar to Dobiella except it's not to such a concerning degree. She's a decent character but the bar is already quite low given how the characters are simple in TTOP.

21: Ellie (50 tea recipes of the Duchess)

Her design is cute I won't lie, braids and glasses are a classic ill always be a sucker for. But again, she's really not much other than a shy follower to Chloe ready to defend her. Won't change the fact she's still my favorite character in 50 tea recipes of the Duchess.

20: Ruby's maid (how to get my husband on my side)

I honestly cannot remember her name 😞 I can't remember which chapter she debuts in so I kinda just gave up on looking. anyway when it comes to personality she's still a tad dull but she's still got more than the last 3. The design is pretty meh but I can't fault her too much, she was pretty nice for all the times I remember her on screen.

19: Emily (actually I was the real one)

on one she really annoys me for some reason, probably cause she comes across as a real suck up but on the other hand, I can understand her desires for fancy clothes and materials.

18: Mina (Actually I was the real one)

Cosettes maid she had for like.. 5 chapters. I know a lot of people hate her for talking smack about Keira and not being grateful enough but the girl was also a homeless woman with her little brother. Cosette used Mina as a tool for her goals and let her get deported when everything went wrong during the rite arc. Remember the main reason Mina did what she did was because Cosette was using her brother's comfort and safety as leverage.

17: Annie (The villainess turns the hourglass)

Again, can't blame a maid for wanting a little more in life, with that being said it feels a tad weird whenever she acts like a pet whenever Aria offers her gold. Don't really like the fact that she also covered up Annie's freckles, let the Freckles be seen! 😤

16: Urania (From maid to queen)

Her rank might go up or down in the future since I've just started reading maid to queen but I liked the idea of a protagonist who could actually be selfish instead of perfectly kind or badass. Urania gets way too much hate so far in my opinion because she's actually more realistic and the only thing I'm concerned about is that she might become too stupid in her goal to return as a concubine since it's how she died in the first timeline.

15: Rose (Actually I was the real one)

The most iconic it Keiras maids. I preferred her first appearances more but for a maid with another personality dedicated to Keira but she's not as annoying as Emily and shows up more often than Mina. I do like her but there are better ones.

14: Emma (the villainess turns the hourglass)

out of all the evil maids Emma was one of the first who at least did it in a way that wasn't just tampering with food. She was a noble who lost her wealth and suffered a miscarriage so it did explain why a maid would be classist and raise Mielle with a superiority complex. Not bad for a side villain.

13: Anna (Not your typical reincarnation story)

I didn't really care about out her at first, she had a lot of Kuu dere traits and for a while she felt like a robot, thankfully she develops little by little as time went on and I love her for it.

12: Jessie (the villainess turns the hourglass)

Homegirl was just trying to do her job and I love her for it. After what Aria put her through in the first timeline she deserves that extra compensation.

11: The head maid (How to get my husband on my side)

Does this woman even have a name? 💀 I may have said braids+glasses were one of my favorite designs for maids but it's only 2nd to the experienced and almost muscular like designs. Beyond that her personality legit makes sense. She is universally hated for not accepting Ruby and while i do think attacking her for no reason is stupid it makes sense that's she not gonna immediately trust a stranger when she has people like Ellen to take care of. Speaking of that the relationship Ellen had with the head maid for as little of it that is seen is still very wholesome. We love our older ladies.

10: Emily..again (Death is the only ending for the villainess)

Probably the most iconic of OI maids and of course I like Emily but I do wish she had a little more to do with the plot, not bad but there are better ones.

9: Granna (Handmade tales of the handmaid)

Another maid protagonist but her concept is actually unique, a old woman who passed away of natural causes unexpectedly transmigrated as a 15 year old maid and with her experience cleans the mansion she works for with ease. The story is so far amazing and Granna mentally being an old woman instead of a ordinary office worker gets her extra points.

8: Lilian (who made me a princess)

Give this woman a raise Claude! That woman did so much for Athy I still consider her the one true parent to the kid.

7: Delice (Remarried empress)

Delice may only be remembered for being mutilated by Rashta but she still holds a special place in my heart. I felt so bad for her when her brother just told her nothing was wrong when Rashta was growing unstable and next thing you know during her next shift she gets framed and tortured 😢. Rashta I love you but not cool girl! In another universe Delice got to be spared and run away to start a little flower garden or a toy store with her dream husband.

6: Sancha (Sister I will be the queen in this life)

This little cutie deserves more than what she got. Don't get me wrong the story treats her pretty well when it comes to her new life and Ariande as a friend but at the same time.. I kinda think she exists to be the token homeless girl for Ariande to bring in to look better, she doesn't do much outside of cheer her lady on and I don't really care for her love interest that much. However I have noticed that Sancha is usually at her best when she's away from Ariande meaning she does more then be a cheerleader. Her moments of refusing to forgive Malleta were her best moments for her character. Speaking of which..

5: Malleta (Sister I will be the queen in this life)

one of my most favorite problematic queens though that's not saying much considering most of my favorite characters are toxic women. First of all: the character design, Sancha looks cute and all but she has the same super cute petite and youthful look most OI maids have. I know it's just because SITQITL puts non conventionally attractive characters as villains with exception of Ceasre and Isabella but I still love that Malleta stands out with a plus sized body, freckles, and narrow eyes instead of doe eyes. Her personality while admittedly trashy is still so entertaining given how delulu she can be. Personally I wish there were scenes where she and Isabella would just be gossip girls and talk shit about all Isabellas enemies. God why did she have to die so soon 😔

4: Chuchu (isn't being a maid better than being a princess?)

Pay no attention to the fact that she shares a name with a LOZ monster. Like I said my favorite kinds of maids are the muscular types who could carry a an entire table which is why Chuchu is one the greats. She's a total gentle giant and I'm so glad the series didn't kick her out completely when the FL moved on.

3: Helena (kill the villainess)

Im gonna throw hands with Helena haters cause what did she even do!? She made mistakes and was willing to apologize and make up for them and that still wasn't enough. Istg internalized misogyny did her dirty I tell you. As the 2nd FL I'm glad the author treated her with respect and actually brought up that Helena has feelings too just like Eris. What I loved the most about her was how she realistically handled the usual evil maid when some random maid put sand in Eris's dessert. When Eris slapped her Helena stood up for what was right and told Eris there was no reason to abuse someone else when they could easily just be fired. 👏 thank you Helena, thank you for finally doing what was sensible by firing the maid instead.

2nd: Sienna (isn't being a maid better than being a princess)

It was really hard to decide between Helena and Sienna so even though Sienna is up higher they are actually tied. Just gonna say it, out of all the FL's she beats all of them in terms of character design because that braid combined with green is perfect. The manhwa she's from is pretty short but it's still really wholesome albeit with a few cliches and random sad flashbacks.

1st: Bridgette. (This isekai maid is forming a union)

Reddit can complain about isekai maid villainizing nobles too much but I won't care because Bridgette, like Helena, IS a maid and naturally would be against workplace abuse. It's funny how quick they'll be about complaining that the nobles are one note because they don't have justifiable reasons to slap a maid while they don't bat an eye at the numerous counts of villainized maids in OI beforehand. Back to the point though Bridgette is one of the most complex protagonists I've ever seen. She can be mean, she can be kind, she can rash and she can still be resilient. That's what makes her so relatable she's not a single personality teathered to a ball and chain. Not only that but it's her and the entire story that made me feel comforted knowing I wasn't the only one turned off by the iffy tropes in OI being supported.

These tropes are all shown through flashbacks of Bridgettes past lives and I have to point out how much they still feel so unique even if they are the same soul, each of them making me cry one way or another. (Fawn and Muriel, my babies! 😭)

[woodsfae]

B5 S03e15 Interludes and Examinations  previous episode - table of contents 

I don't think we've heard from Ivanova's personal diary before....it's totally possible that I'm forgetting one, but still! Exciting! Hearing a personal entry isn't common on B5 iirc. I will never turn down a peek into Susan Ivanova's head. 

And it's factual, bad news. The shadows have been attacking openly for ten days, randomly, all over the place. And there's an older guy looking suspicious on B5! The younger guy he's talking to I thought was Morden The Asshole at first, but that was just my moderate faceblindness tricking me, I think. 

Ooooo I am excited for the return of Adira! I'm tired, very very tired, of sad genocide Londo. Let's get some character arc in here, and I liked Adira. 

Wait no it is Mordan! Ah! That asshole! 

There's a new alien species reaching out for aid that Sheridan isn't giving much inspiration or help to. Well, I typed too soon: he has contacts and negotiations in his toolkit of resources. 

"I'm not questioning you, I'm saying you're flat wrong!"

is a great line. 

Dr Franklin is definitely still on the sims, but Garibaldi should have been yelled at. The security chief has no place tyring to talk to the emergency room doctors trying to save a patient's life. Get out of there Michael Garibaldi. No room for cops in the operating room, scoot. 

Morden: make your government start more wars or else Londo: I have stared death in the face and said "meh"

Elsewhere...

Garibaldi: I think you should do less legal speed and sleep more. Dr Franklin: I'm going to do more legal speed and sleep less, actually. 

Delenn and Sheridan's interaction made me laugh. And perhaps it foretells of the return of Kosh to the main storyline? 

This Garibaldi/Sheridan foreplay is getting intense. Garibaldi is staging a full-on intervention on the legal level. The hamfisted AA commerical is a little dull for me but could be way more annoying, as far as a storyline goes. 

Morden the asshole is continuing to be an asshole, charming the caterer slash personal shopped Vir was meeting with on Londo's behalf. 

lmao dr franklin. staring into the cold abyss of realizing you really really like coke. 

So Sheridan slash humans see an angelic, glowing figure when they see Kosh. Which doesn't explain why the original doctor from the pilot movie was so affected by a glimpse. Me, I'd be more "huh, glowing kinda looks like an angel...the universe is weird. Stitch him up!"

"You said you wanted to teach me to fight legends? Well you're a legend too." 

LEGENDARY. So legendary that's Sheridan's going to have to fight himself. 

"You do not understand. But you will."

Yeah I wouldn't like to hear that after making a bargain with an inexplicable and incomprehensible higher being. 

I'm too high to follow this space battle at all so it's great to hear Ivanova report that the Vorlons engaged the Shadows and were winning. 

o.O they brought back Adira just long enough to have her killed before she arrived! Morden, you asshole. 

Well, Lord whatshisface of Centaur who Londo half-poisoned. But Morden, ultimately, I'm sure. 

Bye Adira, sorry you got fridged. 

Sheridan's bargain with Kosh paid off, and now he will be alone and without Kosh's help when he goes to die on Z'ha'dum. 

Which is almost as ominous as Sheridan's dream vision. Seeing Kosh, Shadows appearing and disappearing, and then his father-bit-actually-Kosh apologizing for not believing him and ...dying? Seems like if Kosh could see this coming, then he could also arrange for some like, shielding, or some other Vorlon tech for protection. But it is about time for the stakes to be raised and the mentor figure to be killed off in this hero's quest, I suppose! 

The Vorlons think it's a bad idea to announce that Kosh slash a Vorlon? has died. So they're going to send a new Vorlon to replace him?? new character alert! I look forward to meeting Kosh-notKosh-Kosh. 

Londo still buying Morden's shit! Londo's revenge arc is, I glumly foresee, going to include more war crimes, and continue to be sad.  

Hmmm. I didn't expect Dr Franklin to resign! I'll be interested in finding out what he gets up to while he tries to do less speed. 

But not in the next!

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Helloo there, I hope you had a nice new year!

I'm an INTP here, and I need some guidance on how I can handle cultivating more empathy and social skills. I've had a lack of empathy since I was young. I am not sure what triggered it or led to it. But It's hard for me to form proper connections with people as a result.

When I was younger, I was a silent kid because i had almost no interest in socializing. I've noticed an issue where i was extremely selfish or cruel. For example, around the age of 6 to 12, I would get a sort of gratification when I purposely made my friend sad, I would find tiny reason to break of the friendship, and feel no remorse to it. I treated people more like experiments than friends. The only major fear I had was towards authority figures such as teachers.

Another thing I've noticed is that I have no strong recollection of good/bad memories. I can not remember the times I have been emotionally hurt or happy memories. The only major emotions I show are annoyance, happiness, and sadness if something happened to me only and never for anyone else.

I also find it hard to remember any important details of conversations and how I talked with people. Leading to fights because they bring up something i did, which i can not recall. My conversations are dull, I can't seem to generate emotions naturally. It feels like I have to fake every expression at times, as friends have previously called me a robot, due to my monotone behaviour.

I also find it hard to speak without saying something awkward and unfit for the conversation. It seems like my thoughts are many degrees away from the original path of the conversation. While everyone else can talk smoothly and reply in a way that continues the conversations, my replies fall flat and end with an awkward laugh.

As you might be able to guess, my friendships are quite shallow and unfulfilling, too. I often find it a chore to maintain relationships, almost taking an extreme amount of energy to reply to a text. Even if the other person has a keen interest in me.

But I still so desire good friendships, I keep myself cheerful and smiley, so that people don't turn off from me at first glance.

I've noticed these traits so often and spiralled down into sadness, believing that I might be sociopathic and that I am intrinsically a bad person. (I am prone to victim mentality, which made it worse).

It's only after I reached college and got into a failed relationship that I've consciously tried to fix myself. I've realised what an unfulfilling and selfish life I've been living.

I've tried living in the moment, trying to feel peoples emotions, putting in effort, listening more, trying to converse more, approach people, and, in general, involve myself in the class. But all it takes is one bad mood for me to undo all my progress and turn silent again.

My feelings of insecurity and envy have been raised, too, as my ex is now dating someone who is empathetic, sensitive, and socially adept.

I want to know

How to get out of this constant rut of motivation and failure to change.

How to live in the moment and talk, getting over the fear that I will say something unfit.

How to be more empathetic in general.

How to be more secure inside so that i can focus more outside and on my friendships.

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Lack of empathy or empathy deficit is a complicated topic in psychology, so this might be a lot for you to process. Yes, empathy can be conceptualized as a skill to improve and build up through learning and practice. However, like any skill, some people will have more genetic aptitude with it than others, so some people struggle with it more than others.

It sounds like you've already done some research and tried a few techniques with meh results. Unfortunately, your way of working toward a solution is very slow because you still don't know the "why". It's hard to solve a problem when you don't know the root cause because then the only method available to you is trial-and-error. It can indeed become very discouraging when you get error after error or don't see any meaningful progress.

Empathy deficit can be thought of as a symptom, which means there are many possible psychological issues/disorders that can give rise to it. It might benefit you to get assessed by a mental health professional with expertise about empathy deficit. It's important to investigate what lies behind it in order to discover the right way to address it.

For example, both autism and narcissism can produce empathy deficit but the mechanisms that impede empathy development are very different when you compare the two, so the treatment plans would end up looking very different once you tailor them to each individual's needs. Some people lack empathy simply because they have never been loved by anyone due to growing up in an environment of extreme neglect. Having never felt love, they don't know what it is and of course don't know how to show it.

One reason empathy deficit is a thorny subject is because of social stigma, especially since it often gets associated with psychopathy or sociopathy as you mentioned. Many psychologists don't use these labels because of the stigma and because they are imprecise. When a psychological term is widely used by the general public, it starts to lose meaning or the meaning gets extremely fuzzy, which renders it less and less useful for diagnostic purposes. People think "psychopath" and they picture a serial killer, which isn't helpful.

Personally, I'm even wary of using the word "disorder" because it often leads people to believe they are somehow "broken"; the way they behave is "wrong" and has to be changed to the "right" way. While some psychological problems should be called a disorder, I personally don't believe that empathy deficit itself should be, unless it is accompanied by dysfunctional behavior that indicates the presence of a serious mental disorder.

My understanding of empathy deficit is that it's more like a "disability", similar to blindness or deafness. What's the advantage of approaching empathy deficit as a disability? A) It's not your fault that your brain has low aptitude for empathy, so shame is completely unwarranted. B) A disability is something you can come to comfortably accept as a part of you, but also something you need to learn to adapt to, in order to live a fuller life. Thus, the question isn't "what's wrong with me?" but rather "how can I adapt better to having this disability?"

Empathy isn't an on/off switch. There are degrees of empathy. Some people have minimal to no empathy. Some people have too much empathy. Most people fall somewhere in the middle of having empathy much of the time but still capable of acting like a selfish jerk some of the time.

The way INTPs approach the world tends to be conceptual and intellectual, so it might help you to approach empathy in more cognitive rather than emotional terms. The most basic way to explain empathy is the ability to conceptualize/visualize another person's mind and understand what's going on in there. There are many paths to reaching that understanding, so psychologists distinguish between different kinds of empathy:

Affective empathy or emotional empathy is about sharing someone else's feelings and emotions. For instance, people with normal empathy would feel sad upon seeing their friend feeling sad about their dog dying. By sharing feelings and emotions with someone, it can lessen their burden and help them feel better. Expressing empathy in this way is a common method of showing how much you care about someone's well-being. When people talk about empathy deficit, it is usually affective empathy they are referring to. Try as they might, some people just can't muster enough care or concern about others.

Another kind of empathy is cognitive empathy, which is basically about modeling someone else's mind. Ti+Ne might help you with this. You could take your own experience and try to extrapolate from it to understand someone else.

For example, do you feel anything when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, such as ask how you're doing, give you a gift, or answer a question for you online? People with normal empathy would feel warmth, appreciation, gratitude, closeness/intimacy, care, love, or a sense of mattering. If you feel good when someone does something nice for you, you can extrapolate from it and guess that someone else may also feel good when you do something nice for them. This is the rationale behind the common advice of treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Even if you aren't capable of feeling good when someone does something nice for you, you can still observe that it is a common phenomenon in the general population. Therefore, you can deduce, through empirical investigation of cause and effect, that people doing nice things for each other is an important aspect of maintaining good relations. This can then be turned into a good principle or practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you have to occasionally do nice things for them (so that they can feel justified in continuing the friendship)." You don't have to use your own emotion to arrive at good principles of action; you can also use logic and common sense to get a similar result.

Empathy is also closely linked to compassion, which is about taking action in accordance with empathic feelings. For example, seeing a friend get injured on the street, it isn't enough to just stand there and feel for them, right? Feeling bad for them should also prompt you to take action to help or save them from further injury or death.

If you can't feel bad for people who are injured, you can still understand, intellectually, that it's not a great situation. Instead of acting on empathic feelings you don't have, you could act out of logic and common sense, knowing that, universally, nobody likes to lie there vulnerable and bleeding on the street. Once again, this could lead you to create a principle/practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you should take action whenever they need help."

If you're not capable of affective empathy, you are still capable of cognitive empathy as long as you are of normal intelligence. Most people rely more on affective than cognitive empathy. However, since you suffer this "disability" of not being able to generate enough affective empathy, you could rely more on cognitive empathy as an adaptation.

Maybe it's impossible for you to become the beloved social butterfly wowing everyone with your charisma, but you can still form meaningful relationships with a handful of people. When you meet a good candidate for friendship, be open and honest about your challenges, then they will know to show you more empathy and patience. As long as you're willing to put out some effort for them, they will return it. Relationships require reciprocity.

This brings us to the last point of "effort", which relates to motivation. Motivation often arises from emotionality; people have a strong desire or feel strongly about something, so they take action. What happens when your feelings and emotions are too muted to motivate action?

Human beings are motivated by a great number of things. The motivation to connect with other people is but one of them. In many cases, empathy deficit doesn't mean a person is incapable of empathizing. It's more precise to say that they can empathize but the motivation is too easily overridden by other conflicting motivations.

To give you a simple example, maybe you just worked a long day on your feet and you're utterly exhausted. You get on the bus to go home and there's only one seat left that's reserved for the disabled or elderly. You take it because no one else wants it. Later, a very frail old man gets on the bus and eyes your seat. What do you do? Many people, out of empathy, would yield the seat. A low empathy person can still feel bad for the old man. The issue is that their empathy level isn't strong enough to override the more pressing motivation to rest.

Oftentimes in relationships, you are faced with a dilemma of having to choose between yourself and others. Instead of thinking of it in terms of "I only care about me and I don't care about them", you can think of it like this:

I have multiple motivations. 1) I want to do what I want to do. 2) But I also want to keep this person as my friend. Just because motivation 1 is always stronger than 2 doesn't mean I always have to choose that way.

Since my feelings and emotions are muted, I do not have the mental resources to satisfy all of my motivations all of the time. I must ensure that I am not too otherwise stressed/taxed when trying to socialize. And I must calculate which motivation is most worthwhile to follow based on the situation.

When faced with a social dilemma, I must analyze which motivation is going to lead me to a better outcome via weighing the pros and cons objectively. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking care of my own needs. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking action to keep my friend. In some situations, I can be super smooth and efficient and do something that will benefit both of us at the same time. Make the smartest choice given the circumstances.

Taking some extra time to think through possible outcomes helps you make better social decisions (and develop Ne properly). Just like a visually impaired person has to put out effort to read braille or a hearing impaired person has to put out effort to use sign language, you must put out some effort to learn adaptations that will help you participate better in relationships and social situations.

You don't have to overthink. You can learn about people through observation and asking them simple questions. You can follow some basic principles like: compliment people when they do something good; offer help on occasion; say please and thank you; etc. Perhaps read about social etiquette to learn some good rules of thumb. Perhaps study communication skills so that you can express yourself more effectively.

An important aspect of maintaining motivation is regularly getting good results along the way. As INTP, you should be good at analyzing past mistakes for lessons to learn, in a scientific or experimental way. Try something and it doesn't work, don't do it again. Something worked well, try it again. It only works some of the time? Isolate the relevant factors to predict which situations it's more likely to work. You've obviously made some progress since childhood because you now actually care about this issue enough to feel bad and reach out for guidance. When feeling down, people tend to fixate on failure and it's easy to lose sight of all the little improvements achieved. Make sure to review the things you've done well, no matter how small, as a way to keep your motivation up.

Although empathy is an important ingredient in relationships, there are still ways to proceed without it. As long as you have some motivation to socialize, no matter how small or muted, there is hope to build something more out of it. Use those feelings of loneliness, regret, or sadness you just told me about to enhance your motivation and your desire to live your life in a better way (as opposed to wallowing in negativity).

You don't have to be "noble" and take action for others purely because you care deeply about them. Maybe it's enough to do it as a thank you to them for sticking around to make your life more fulfilling. It's not a competition of "me vs them", so don't think of relationships as a "sacrifice". By making them happy, you also make yourself happy, because you get to have a friend. Fe teaches you that good relationships should be win-win, even when you care more about your win than theirs.

[i-call-me-clarence]

Pictures of a Metaphor

Here is an image of a mushroom:

It’s interesting, it’s got okay composition, the mushroom’s obviously the focal point, but there’s other things that draw the eye in this scene too. There’s the dark red leaf in the upper lefthand corner that leads you away from the mushroom, to the pinecone, maybe you notice then, that there’s another pinecone to the very left, you might get drawn over to the green leaves in the upper right, before you’re coming back home to mushroom land. 

This is a story before it’s been edited. It’s complete, it has flow, beginning middle and end. A bit muted, a little lacking in that *pizzaz*, but not horrible.  

Some people are fine with this, the image above being exactly what they were going for. Tamed, real, raw. Others would be disappointed. After all that hard work of finding a subject, setting up the shot, and finally taking enough pictures to find a decent one, you’ve got… this, something that’s a bit too dull for some, or maybe just not what you were hoping for.  

Now what if you throw in a little color? Made it warmer, fluffier, gave it some more detail and definition? You might get something like this:

It’s got a completely different vibe! It’s something that might catch your attention, compel you to stare at it for a little while. It’s more fun, kind of vintage. 

But what if you were looking for something a bit more weird? Something with unexpected colors, something vibrant as hell that made you go ‘Wow’ like Owen Wilson? You might end up with something a little like this instead: 

The greens and reds almost clash but there’s a strange, unexpected harmony.  Intriguing blues and purples can be spotted throughout the image, if your eyes can focus long enough away from the vibrant greens and reds. It’s kinda bizarre. It makes you feel… something. 

But maybe weird isn’t what you want. Maybe warm things make you cringe. So you add in a little darkness, change the tone, create conflict and angst. Or maybe you simply want to unsettle someone. It could end up looking like this: 

Dark, cold, finding a mushroom out in the woods, near nightfall, you’re starving and don’t know if it’s poisonous or not. 

But what if that’s not enough? What if you want to take that dull old mushroom photo, and bring it to the far edge of reality and then push it off? What if you want to throw it into the very pit that the word ‘insanity’ drug itself out of? What if you want to find pandora’s jar (it was never a box it was a jar folks) and bust it open, just to see if maybe a few more horrors were left inside? In simple terms, what if you just wanna make people’s skin crawl and their eyes need some bleach?

…Unsettling, to say the least. 

All of these pictures, are the same exact picture, edited in different ways. What I’m trying to get across here, is that when the story’s done, on occasion, it’s really only just begun. My fiance’s first draft is his final project, and it’s a painstaking process, which he loathes every nano-second of. Me? I start strong with maybe something more like this: 

And end stronger with something like this old familiar bad boy:

(It’s the weird one. I’m trying to say I write weird shit)

But sometimes, you finish a story, first draft DONE, and then it’s just… kinda meh. It doesn’t even really seem worth the time to fix it… POLISH THAT SHIT! Edit it until it SHINES! Beauty is waiting, it just needs a little slap here, a comma there, maybe some italics, and then BAM! Masterpeice. (Remember, Leonardo Da Vinci worked on the Mona Lisa for like ten thousand years, making little edits here and there. Don’t spend 10k years on it though, learn when to stop ((something you’d have to hold over Da Vinci’s head :D))

And if you need to get a story down, but are daunted by the task of taking the brutally agonzing steps of making it perfect on the first go round, then… Just don’t. Just take the dull picture with the good idea. Then edit the shit out of it until it looks like the image in your head. 

Don’t let a first draft become your last and end up in the recycle bin. Ideas are fire and passion. Don’t snuff them out just because building them up would take work. 

[headfullofpresley]

𝐉𝐨𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 | 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

Warnings: joe being joe, some inaccurate plot/details of the movie, made some things up myself bc this movie is horrible lol, tiny mention of animal slaughtering, rodeo rider!elvis, lil bit of smut; public sex, mention of pregnancy. the ending is meh but had to end it bc i could go on about this man for hours. ☻

A/N: stay away joe is one of my least fave movies, but i have a weird relationship with it - hate it, but will never stop rewatching bc GOOD GOD, joe lightcloud is a stunner.

masterlist

You work as a bartender at the local bar that is owned by Glenda Callahan.

Because Mamie was obsessed with Joe, she sent the girl off to the big city to live with an aunt.

You and Glenda got along well, so when she offered you to move into her daughter's room, you accepted.

The job was dull, only serving coffee and breakfast to locals that were on their way to the city or dinner to strangers that were passing through.

Glenda wasn't surprised when Joe wandered in the bar and had his sights set on you like you were a juicy piece of meat sizzling on the BBQ.

You weren't her daughter, so she couldn't say anything, but she did warn you about the cowboy casanova.

“Don’t worry, Miss Glenda. He’s gonna have to work for it,”

You weren't as desperate as Mamie, but you could understand why the younger girl had been.

With his tanned skin and cowboy hat resting atop of his head, he was just breathtaking.

But you had heard the stories about Joe Lightcloud and even though you were already planning on having a piece of him, you weren't going to throw yourself at him like all the other girls did.

“Didn’t know they sold shorts as tiny as those,” he'd grin smugly, shamelessly leaning over the bar to take a peek at your exposed legs due to the denim shorts you were wearing.

Arizona was hot, nobody wore jeans unless they'd be breaking bones at the rodeo.

Acting like you weren't phased by his actions or his words, you put a drink in front of him and leaned your hands on the bar with a grin lingering on your face.

“They exiled me outta the city for ‘em,”

You weren't even from the city, but he didn't know that. He moved back onto his family's reservation recently and had never seen you around before despite you growing up in the area.

“Uptight, those city folk,” he’d tease back, that grin never faltering. “How ‘bout you, honey? Are you uptight?”

Giving him an innocent shrug and a little smile, you kept your lips sealed and continued cleaning the bar, letting him use the phone which was the reason why he came in here in the first place.

He could easily use the phone in other places, but he came to the bar pretty much every day after meeting you.

He'd tell you it was because the bar was closer than the stores in town and while you knew that was true, you also knew you were the reason for him coming to your work place.

You didn't mind at all. You were bored out of your mind half the day, so you started looking forward to seeing him and talking to him.

He'd try to win you over, pulling out his best pick up lines and putting on his best smiles.

They made your knees buckle behind the bar every time, but this was a man that had girls falling for him in the matter of seconds and you wanted to see if he was willing to put in an actual effort.

He never met anyone like you and even though he never had to work for a girl's attention, he was determined to win you over.

When his family was granted twenty heifers and a bull to prove that they could raise cattle, he invited you to the party he was throwing at the reservation.

Being the only employee at the bar, you didn't know if Glenda would allow you time off but she fell for your puppy eyes and sweet smile and gave you two days off.

You should've known this wouldn't be a normal party.

It lasted throughout the entire weekend, with people sleeping under the blazing sun during the day and drinking and dancing all night.

All Joe's friends and family demanded his attention but he always found his way back to you, providing you with drinks and introducing you to people.

He'd shamelessly introduce you as ‘his girl’ to everyone and they all believed it.

All your chances of becoming friends with the girls who were there flew right out of the window, because they'd give you dirty looks every time you'd smile at them.

“I ain’t your girl, Joe,” you'd remind him but all he did was laugh and wrap his arm around your waist, giving you that cocky grin.

“Give it time, honey. Give it time,”

You'd roll your eyes but on the inside, you were screaming like a little girl because you knew he was dead serious.

Disaster struck when Bronco, one of Joe's friends, accidentally slaughtered and barbecued the only bull in the herd instead of one of the heifers.

The bull that was supposed to help the Lightcloud's provide for themselves with the cattle they could sell.

Not long after the party, Glenda fired you because you start neglecting the bar to spend more time with Joe.

He borrowed a bull from a friend that's supposed to do the job, but the poor thing would sleep all day and not move a muscle.

Slowly but surely, you moved onto the reservation. His family liked you and at least now Joe didn't have to face the lazy bull on his own.

“C’mon, boy, get your fat ass up,”

He'd tug on the bull's head, trying to lift it from the ground and to get him to stand up or at least move, but nothing was working.

“Joe! Be nice to him, he has feelings, you know?” you'd yell at him as you sat on top of the fence, swinging your legs back and forth while watching him struggle.

“Yeah only not the right feelings,” though the words came out as a mumble, you still heard them and he'd send you a sneaky wink.

“Look here, Dominick! You little fucker,” walking over to one of the heifers, he lands a slap on the rear of it. “All these lovely ladies are willin’,”

Scrunching your nose, you shook your head. “You’re horrible at this,”

Standing up straight with an amused scoff, he'd nod his head and walk over to you.

“Alright, little miss boots. Let’s see you try then,” giving you a squeeze in the cowboy boots you were wearing, he'd grin teasingly at you and lean against the fence.

You jumped off the fence and stole his hat, putting it on top of your head as you told him to watch and learn, approaching the bull.

You weren't specialized in cows or whatsoever, but you grew up around horses. You were confident enough to make this work and you wanted to see Joe's face if you managed to succeed.

Dominick was lazier than you expected but you ignored Joe's laughs and mumbled ‘told you so’s’.

You weren't giving up though and after forty minutes, the bull finally decided to get up to his feet.

“Yes, Dominick, good boy! Come here, you sweet thing!” urging the bull excitedly and sweetly, you stepped closer to the heifers.

Joe couldn't believe his eyes as he watched the bull follow you and paying attention, finally doing what he was here for.

You supressed a small squeal, clearing your throat as you walked over to Joe. Giving him a small curtsy as you dipped his hat, you'd give him your biggest and most cocky smile.

“Voila!”

“I don’t speak Italian,”

“Oh, Joe,” laughing as you took a step closer to him, you'd swing your arms around his neck and kiss him.

He would not hesitate or whatsoever at all to kiss you back, lifting you up from the ground and placing you on the fence.

It wasn't until you'd pull back from the kiss that you saw Dominick succesfully doing his job and you and Joe cheered him on the entire time.

Even though Dominick did what he needed to do that one day, the bull went right back to snoring up a storm most of the time.

Joe found out from the friend he borrowed the bull from that it was actually a rodeo prizewinning bull, so to provide for the family, he started doing rodeo shows.

Okay, he smacked the information out of his friend, but you didn't need to know that. Apparently it was enough for the dude to let Joe keep the bull, so you weren't complaining.

Whenever you weren't watching him at the rodeo, you'd be on the reservation with his family.

Now, his family was crazy but you liked them.

Grandpa Lightcloud was a grumpy old man that you didn't understand half of the time, but he liked having you around because you helped around on the property and didn't try to keep Joe away from his family.

The man would teach you how to do a rain dance and you'd show it to Joe any chance you got, making him roll over in giggles because you'd mess up some of the moves.

Teaching you properly and doing it with you in the middle of the night. You forced him to do it with you every day because Sedona, Arizona desperately needed some rain.

And when the rain came, you'd dance around in it. Usually with very little clothing on, unless the rest of the family was there.

When you did accompany him to rodeo shows, everyone knew who you belonged to because you'd be shouting the loudest to cheer him on and cussing out whoever talked shit about your man.

Sedona was a small and boring town with very little to do. While you and Joe would have dinner at one of the few restaurants now and then, the both of you preferred to go on dates that would take place outside.

Horseback riding was one of the things you'd pretty much do every day.

You'd always accept whenever he challenged you to a race, even though you knew you were bound to lose.

Sometimes he'd rub the victory in your face and sometimes he'd let you win on purpose, because he liked seeing that smug grin on your face.

“Can’t win ‘em all, Joey baby. Better luck next time,”

He absolutely hated the pet name. Would give you a glare, but truth was.. he'd let you get away with any name you'd throw at his head.

“You’re the best, princess. Now come get your prize,”

Your prize was always a kiss. Lots of them.

Picnic dates. 🥺

Which would start off all innocent with you two chatting while eating and cuddling on the blanket while sunbathing, but always ended in you riding him.

His favorite was when you'd be moaning above him, wearing his cowboy hat, sun slowly disappearing behind the mountains.

Since the climate was so damn hot, you were always wearing tanktops and very rarely a bra which he took advantage of by nearly tearing the thin fabric to pieces because he liked seeing your breasts bounce to the rhythm of your thrusts.

Insisted you kept the boots on, because he thought it was one of the hottest things he had ever seen.

Every time the two of you were intimate, it was usually somewhere outside or in his car.

Your horses have seen some shit. Thank God they couldn't talk.

Joe never officially asked you to be his girlfriend, but after the first time you kissed, you gave yourself that title whether he liked it or not.

He liked it. He liked it a lot.

Meant he didn't need to prepare a whole ass awkward speech about wanting you as his girl.

You were both jealous and didn't like when the other would get a little too much attention.

He'd knock anyone out who would make you feel uncomfortable, touched you inappropiately or looked your way a little too long for his liking.

You weren't any better, having fought enough girls that tried to sneak their way into Joe's arms.

He usually didn't care about two-timing girls, but he actually loved you and he knew you'd tear his head off if he ever cheated.

“Now I don’t mind the attention, ladies, but I got a girl. She might be small, but she’s wilder than an angry bull, ya know?”

Even though he'd always break up the fights between you and other girls, peeling your (freakishly strong) hands out of their hair, he secretly liked seeing you so jealous.

You two didn't tell each other you loved each other a lot, but it were moments like these that he knew.

He'd take both his family and you by surprise when proposing to you after only four months of dating.

You didn't even hesitate to say yes.

You never cared much for weddings and marriage, but you knew that this was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Plus, you loved how your name sounded with his last name.

Joe eventually made enough money to buy Glenda's bar, who took the money and got the hell outta dodge.

He gifted the bar to you as a wedding gift and the two of you moved in at the house that was adjoined to it.

Still, he made sure to provide for his family too and the both of you went over there as much as you could, helping them with the renovation of the house, etc.

Didn't take you long to fall pregnant, giving birth to a healthy son, who Joe was more than excited to have follow in his footsteps to become a succesful bull rider.

[luigisblueoveralls]

Carina

Luigi x GN! Reader

Requested by @andy-squirrel-and-friends

I know I already used a similar picture on one of my other works, shush I'm running out of pictures to use. Someone send me some plzz

Summary: Luigi has been down in the dumps lately and you find the perfect way to cheer him up.

Notes: Carina means cute, in a feminine context, in Italian, and I figured that would be perfect for this scenario. I also changed it a little of what you asked on accident and didn't realize it until I got really deep into writing it so I hope that's okay I apologize! No warnings for this one! Hope you enjoy it!

(H/L)=Hair Length

(H/C)=Hair Color

💚

The front door softly opened and then shut, indicating that your significant other was home from work.

"Hey Lui! How was today?" You called from the laundry room.

"Meh." Luigi mumbled as he walked upstairs to y'alls room.

You sighed to yourself hearing that. This was the third day in a row that Luigi was bummed out. You weren't sure why he was being this way, and when you ask what's wrong, he just says: "Don't worry about me. I'm alright." But you knew that was a damn lie. Normally, Luigi was excited and energetic and happy, but lately, he has been dull, monotone, and even depressed. You weren't sure why he was acting like this, but you were going to get to the bottom of this.

You quickly finished the laundry that you were doing and headed upstairs to the bedroom where Luigi was at.

"Hey." You announce as you knocked on the door, "Can I come in?"

It was silent for a few seconds.

"Sure."

You opened the door and walked into the bedroom to find Luigi top less in his boxers, looking for some lounge clothes to wear. You gazed at him. Luigi was so handsome to you that you loved gazing at him with whatever chance you got. Whether it be while he was cooking in the kitchen, asleep with drool coming out of his mouth, or during intimate times, you loved to gaze at him.

"What are you looking at?" Luigi asks you.

"Nothing, pretty boy." You joked, which made him do a half smile.

"What's been on your mind, Lui? Talk to me." You plead as you approached him.

Luigi shook his head at you.

"It's nothing. I promise, love." He reassures you.

You still weren't buying it.

"Lui, what is it?" You ask again.

Luigi leans in and kisses your temple.

"I promise I am okay. I'm just tired, is all." Luigi strokes your (H/L) (H/C), making you smile.

"I know, but I worry about you." You said, leaning onto Luigi's shoulder.

"You have nothing to worry about." Luigi reassures you, wrapping his arm around you.

You nod in response, but you still couldn't help but worry for Luigi. You needed a way to figure out how to lighten his mood, and you had an idea of how to do that.

~

"We have three available for adoption. It just depends on which one suits your need the best." The shelter worker lady informed you.

You gazed through the three glass shelters the cats were in. One cat was white, one was black, and then there was an orange tabby cat with white stripes all over his body with green eyes. Your eyes met with the orange cats. The orange cat stared right back into your eyes, and you couldn't help but feel drawn to the cat.

"Do you think you could tell me more about this orange one?" You ask the worker.

"Ah yes, she just arrived today, so we don't have a name for her yet, but she loves loves cuddles and to be loved on. She loves food and loves to play with her ball of yarn and gets attached to her person." The worker informed you.

This cat was a perfect match for Luigi. You just knew it. You had a gut feeling you were correct.

"I'll take her. She is perfect." You told the worker.

"Awesome. I'll fetch her crate for ya." The worker said as she walked off.

You pressed your hand up against the glass, and the cat pressed her paw against the glass where your hand was at. You giggled in an excited way. It was as if the cat knew she was gonna go to the perfect home.

~

It was a waiting game at this point. You had the cat in your lap with a little green bow tie on it, both of you waiting for Luigi to get home.

"He is going to love you." You spoke to the cat.

The cat rubbed her chin up against yours, and you chuckled in response. You still didn't really have a name for her, but you wanted Luigi to make that choice. It was his cat, after all. Suddenly, you heard the sound of his car engine pull up and park in front of the house. Your heart started racing rapidly. You couldn't wait till your wonderful significant other walked through the door and see your surprise you had for him.

"Relax (Y/N)." You told yourself.

You felt as if your heart was gonna burst out of your chest. You couldn't wait. You almost told Luigi the surprise as soon as you got the cat, but you figured it was best to wait till he got home. Luigi walked up to the front door, turned the door knob and opened the front door.

"Hey, Lui." You greet him with excitement.

You could tell by his gaze that he was tired. Extremely. He was so tired that all he noticed was you.

"Hey, (Y/N)." Luigi greets you as he tiredly walked to the couch.

"Are you okay?" You ask as you sat next to him, with the cat in your lap still.

"Y-Yeah, just-" Luigi was interrupted by the cat rubbing on him and crawling into his lap.

"Um..whose cat is this?" Luigi asks.

You leaned in close to him, placing a peck on his cheek.

"She's yours, Lui."

Luigi's eyes went wide in shock as he gazed at the orange tabby cat.

"R-Really?" Luigi asks in suprisement.

"Surprise!!" You exclaimed as you hugged the side of him.

Luigi chuckled as he started petting his cat. The cat would rub against his hand motions and even rub her up against his chin, as if she had already claimed Luigi as her owner.

"I just noticed you've been down lately and figured maybe having an animal companion might help." You inform him.

Luigi looked at you, his deep blue eyes staring into your (E/C) eyes. He felt so lucky to have you. You cared for him so much and wanted the best for him.

"Thank you." Luigi says as he kisses you.

You kissed back until he pulled away and turned his attention back to his cat.

"Carina. I think that's a perfect name for this one." Luigi comments.

"Yes. I agree." You agreed as you lean in close to Luigi, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

You had a feeling that living your life with Luigi and now Carina was gonna be the best years of your life. You just knew it.

💚

I hope you enjoy it!! Again I'm sorry for accidently changing what you wanted I didn't realize it until I was almost done with it but I hope you enjoy it!!

[totaleclipse573]

How was Eclipse first interactions with everyone in the Boom Brothers au?

Ooh, nice question. I'll try my best to explain 😅

Shadow - Doom (offscreen) just kinda dropped the kid off with Shadow because he got annoyed with him. Eclipse has been hanging around with Shadow since then

Sonic and Tails - Eclipse got bored and decided to run off on his own while Shadow wasn't paying attention to him, where he conveniently ended up on Seaside Coast where he met the two. Shadow found him later on elsewhere, and did NOT like seeing Eclipse with them

Knuckles - Sonic introduced Eclipse to Knuckles, and they got along almost instantly (Eclipse isn't dumb but he can SPEAK dumb 👍)

Amy - Basically that one ask post I answered and expanded on in which someone said that Shadow would go to Amy for little brother advice, they meet then.

Sticks - The badger kidnaps him, but they end up getting along (I did a post on this too XD)

Eggman - They just randomly meet while Eclipse is with Team Sonic. He LOVES to make fun of Eggman and they act like little children towards each other.

Orbot and Cubot - Same time as meeting Eggman, except Eclipse loves them. They're very silly

Dave - I'll say Eclipse likes meh burger because he's ALWAYS hungry, but he hates going and seeing this guy. He doesn't like how dull and boring he is and for some reason it just enrages him XD

I know this isn't all the Sonic Boom characters but I tried to keep it basic!

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - January

Because I love a good little list - with an alphabetical order this time! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 31.01.2023

This may contain spoilers!

1. Ameiro Paradox (6/8 on Viki and Gaga)

An enemies to lovers story with journalists and cute smiles. I am a little bit confused by Kaburagi, just like Onoe is. It is not bad, the acting is quite nice.

2. Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu aka The End Of the World With You (1/8 on Gaga or Viki)

This feels depressing and heartbreaking and I love it! Done right this can become a little sad gem.

3. Cutie Pie 2 You (1/4 on Youtube)

Well, I haven't been waiting for this and the first season left without a deeper impact on me. So right now I am very much unimpressed with this one.

4. HIStory 5: Love in the future (5/20 on Viki)

It is starting to grow on me. Both storylines. Seeing Hai Yi being nice, caring and less arrogant is kind of sweet. And all the flirting between Liang and Wynn is very much entertaining. Besides that, the main story is kind of confusing and I can't stop myself from asking, why doesn't He Bo Wei search himself in the internet?

5. Individual Circumstances (4/8 on Viki)

After years spending their lives apart from each other an almost worn out movie director and a famous writer meet again. The past has to be processed and the writer deals with their history and present in one of his stories. I like this one a lot. Can it be please next week, so I know what they were talking about in the preview?

6. My School President (8/12 on Youtube)

I loooove this one so much!!!! It is my favorite watch of the week! Set in highschool we meet Tinn (the school president) and Gun (head of the music club). Tinn has a huge crush on Gun and Gun sees in Tinn the enemy who is standing between the success of his music club and the win of the Hot Wave Music Contest. Sometimes you just need a good old high school bl to be happy. I enjoyed this series so much. And the music is so good!!!

7. Never Let Me Go (7/12 on Youtube)

The tension and chemistry between the two mains is definitely there and noticeable. I am hooked with the story and at this point really anxious about what's to come. There are so many layers to unfold and I love reading all those metas here on tumblr! So well written analyses.

8. Physical: 100 (2/10 on Netflix)

Okay, listen...my best friend told me, I should watch this and after 15 minutes we were on the phone with each other and for the next 1,5 hours we had the time of our lifes! This show is insane and so much fun to watch!

9. The New Employee (6/8 on Viki)

I love the manhwa and I really enjoy this adaptation. It is funny and cute and not so far from the original material. The two mains have a wonderful chemistry.

Finished in January

Series

1. 2 Moons the Ambassador (12/12 on Youtube)

It was just bad. The acting was not good. The plot was...lame and there was too much going on with the amount of couples to deal witj. And there was just too much dull drama without reason and so many plotholes and logical errors... 2 out of 10 for the sweetness sometimes

2. Till the world ends (10/10 on Youtube)

This one was such a pleasant surprise for me. A story about the end of the world with explicit and brutal scenes, decent acting and a kind of good story! The chemistry was there and with episode eight they said, well lets show world what we can do. I won't talk about physics nor the ending. Well the latter would explain the first issues, but I don't care. I liked it! 8,5 out of 10 dystopian ideas

3. Remember Me (14/14 on Gaga)

Okay, this one is so complicated for me. First I found it boring. With episode three I was hooked and totally into it. Around episode 10/11 I just got bored again and the story became...difficult to like anymore and the last one was just meh...I really liked the storytelling, but some parts could have been cut short and others needed more story time. I felt like they have forgotten that there were like four other stories beside Champ's in the last episode so everything felt rushed. And yes, the big problem with Name's decision to speak. Like as it is just so easy to overcome your fear and barrier and mental health problem and just speak. One day, after you notice it would be better for others if you speak, you just do it...well, that is not how it works. And yes, thinking about it, this is a really big problem of the show in general. Just presenting mental health problems as something you can overcome with enough selfcontrol and some words of encouragement...or the sight of others who feel unwell in your depressed presence...damn...It could have been such a nice 7, but thinking about those flaws really hurts...there is no real working with the problems. Champ just decides to forgive his family and his depression is healed...Name speaks because he just decided to do so...Gun and Golf broke up and just a few days later Golf says sorry and pulls out a ring and everything is fine again...Well no...that is not how life works. 4 out of 10 stories to tell

4. Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko Season 1 (4/4 on Gaga)

A man who tries to avoid the world of BL, by reading Yaoi mangas to get to know all the tropes he has to avoid in order to not get involved with the world as a main character. It is hilarious. I had a really good time watching it. 8 out of 10 tropes to avoid

5. Love Bill (10/10 on Youtube)

A vietnamese drama about a young man falling in love with a screenwriter. Well, of course there are some other things happening in between, but this is the heart of the story. Our boy Nguyễn Bá Vinh is doing a great job! I really enjoyed this drama. And the ending is so perfectly fitting for this drama. Thien is a screenwriter and known as the king od sad endings. So yeah, the ending is sad, but at the same time perfect and bittersweet. 7 out of 10 rainwater barrel showers

6. The director who buys me dinner (10/10 on iQiyi)

Okay, I read the Webseries, so I do know what Dennis was up to and what his story was. I liked the story between Yudam and Dongbaek. The ending? I wish they would have stick more to the original, but I am not mad about it. They had a fresh start and it is not that open of an ending for me. Yudam agreed to have dinner with Dongbaek and I believe that those two will be happy in the end. 7,5 out of 10 pills to swallow

7. Island (6/6 non bl)

I have never thought I would say I like a horror series, but here I am. I hate horror besides Vampires, Aliens and Witches, so this was a surprise, especially when I think about my despise and horror for The Exorcist. But this one is really good! And now I can't wait for season 2!! There is so much to unpack and I am hooked! 9,5 out of 10 lust demons

8. War of Y (20/20 on Gaga)

I finally watched it. I don't know. It was good imo, without a doubt. But it is a little bit paradox. The series tries to go against the industry and the fanservice and the working conditions, but in the end it is just another bl. Most of the stories have their happy ending and are kind of unrealistic. I enjoyed my time watching it, even though it was tough at some times. 7 out of 10 two-faced media

9. Gaya Sa Pelikula aka Like in the Movies (8/8 on Youtube)

What a perfect little series! I loved every second of this and I wish it had more episodes. But they managed to tell the story in the time they had without cutting something short or anything. It is a deep story with a light storytelling that fits the tone perfectly. The story is about Karl and Vlad who become fake boyfriends to help each other and who happen to fall in love with each other for real. But nothing is that easy in this world and the process of coming out and coming to terms with who you are needs time. Absolutely love this one! 10 out of 10 dishes to wash

10. Ingredients (21/21 on Gaga)

This was the perfect thing to watch while laying down with a cold. It warms your heart and makes you smile. It is such a cute and wholesome story and I believe they will manage to overcome all obstacles in their relationship. I am very grateful for this recommendation! 9,5 out of 10 desserts

11. My Engineer (14/14 on Youtube)

Well this one was a ride. I liked the beginning, but my patience died at some point. So Bohn and Duen became a couple, but they didn't touch each other, no hand holding, no kind of showing affection and the only one who does shows them through words is Bohn, but he becomes so jealous I wanted to slap his face. He is sulking the whole second part of this series! That was so annoying. The only bright spot were RamKing. I get it, they are cute and the only ones with at least two brain cells! 5,5 out of 10 sulking faces...

12. The Tuxedo (8/8 on Gaga)

This was not good. I think it is cringy and there was no chemistry between the mains or a plot I could really follow. I mean there are short films out there, which can transport a better story with a better feeling for time and substance than this series. The amount of times I cried noooo...Not good... 3,5 out 10 what the hell was this blue tuxedo?!?!

13. History 4: Close to you (10/10 on Viki)

Yeah, close to you...what a perfect titel. Best friends to lovers, stepbrothers to lovers. And I liked it. I don't know what else to say. I know there are some scenes that are just bad. There is no excuse for that, but you know what? I watched KinnPorsche, I watched Dangerous Drugs Of Sex...And besides those scenes I really enjoyed the stories. Yes, also the stepbrothers. 8 out of 10 Cardigans

14. Between Us (12/12 on Youtube)

Well, in the end it was boring and I couldn't care less about WinTeams relationship or their traumas, which is really sad, because it plays such a big role in the series. I liked them in UWMA, but here, in their own series, they were blank and boring. 4,5 out of 10 swimming pools

15. The Devil Judge (16/16 on Viki)

Why so good? I couldn't stop watching in the end. You know the feeling when you are so tense, you just want to spoiler yourself the ending, but you don't want to, but you want to and in the end you are sitting there in tears, because the drama is so sad and you're so tense. And still, since the beginnen of the show, you question yourself if you want to hate Jung Sun Ah, feel pity for her, fuck her or let her fuck you. In the end I let her fuck me out of pity while I hate her with all my guts. But the drama is just so fucking good. So thrilling and with some really good (and some not so good) plot twists. And in the end, every meme is true, gay sex would be less gay than what ever was going on between Kang Yo Han and Kim Ga On and I respect them for that. 10 out of 10 intense eye contacts

16. Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2 (3/3 on Gaga)

A man who tries to avoid the world of BL, by reading Yaoi mangas to get to know all the tropes he has to avoid in order to not get involved with the world as a main character - Part II (yes, I copy paste this one...). It is hilarious. I had a really good time watching it. 7,5 out of 10 tropes to still avoid

New Category: Dropped/On Hold

1. I will knock you (1/12 on Gaga)

Well, I don't like it. It brings me no joy so far. So for now it is on hold until I have nothing more to watch...

2. To Sir, with love (2/17 on Youtube)

I know that it is good, but I don't know. I just can't find the energy to watch it. Perhaps some day in the future.

3. Something in my room (3/10 on Youtube)

I saw people talking about this one and how good it is. Well, it is quite okay. I guess it will get a little bit deeper with more episodes, but I haven’t had the time to watch more or the motivation to watch it...so for now it is on hold

4. Hit Bite Love (on Youtube)

I couldn't get over the first half of the first epsiode. It just made me uncomfortable. So this was a dropped for me...

Short films

1. Invitation (on Gaga)

A short film about a jobless person who finds binoculars and breaks in a stranger's home. There is a good twist in the end. The acting was okay, the story was okay...the ending was good. 6,5 out of 10 binoculars

2. Fragile Souls (on Gaga)

I like this one a lot. It has depth and a really deep story for a movie under 10 minutes. The acting is good, too. It is a story about opening your heart to someone and not keeping you inner demons all to yourself. You are allowed to be vulnerable and it gets better. 8,5 out of 10 grainy metaphores

3. Jay (on Gaga)

Jay is a 13 years old boy who is fascinated by his older brother's physique what somewho change into attraction. He is discovering his own sexual orientation while his brother doesn't keep his own a secret from the younger brother (he has sex with his girlfriend while the door to his room was open). It is a complicated film which ewokes complicated emotions. Jay is in an early stage of puberty and his hormones and emotions are going crazy. He can't bring himself to like the girl who has a crush on him. Instead he fantasises about his brother, or his brother's body, a male body to whom he has easy access. The acting is not bad, the subject difficult, but all in all not a bad short film. 7 out of 10 pants

4. Going South (on Gaga)

What a ride. This movie was tense and uncomfortable to watch. I guess you can start a discourse about the question wether the sexual encounter is consensual, dub con or just simply r*pe...With all I have seen it is r*pe for me. There was so much aggression between those two and I understand both sides, which doesn't mean that ones actions were justified. 5,5 out of 10 chasing scenes

5. Suddenly Last Summer (on Gaga)

It is the story about a student, who stalks his teacher after he discovered the latter is gay. The student goes so far that he blackmails the teacher to do everything he wants for a day in return he would keep his secret safe. Well it was a slow and quiet movie. The acting was good. The story itself was okay. I liked it. Did I liek the student? Nope...But his behavior fits his character and his role in the movie. 8 out of 10 headphones

6. Kiss Of The Rabbit God (on Gaga)

This is such a beautiful and good short film! I loved every second of it and I was hooked to the very last scene. The following is all you need to know. Oh I love some good stories! A long time ago in the Qing Dynasty a young soldier fell in love with a handsome official and was sentenced to death for confessing his longing. When his spirit travelled to the Underworld the soldier’s crime was forgiven as one of passion and he was ordained The Rabbit God, the god of secret lovers. The god now travels through eternity answering prayers of forbidden love. 10 out of 10 crimson-hair

7. Langit Budak Biru (on Gaga)

It is not easy to watch, it is not easy to think about, but it is important to think about, to talk about. A movie about two boarding school students in a very religious and very homophobic country trying to understand why they are here and how to survive. My highest resprect for this movie. 10 out of 10 !

Movies

1. Gameboys: The Movie (on Gaga)

Well I haven't seen the first season, but you can indeed watch this without knowledge of the things that happen before (imo). I thought it was a decent movie. The acting was good, the stroy was there and I liked it. But I can't with "Baby" as a term of endearment. At some point all I could hear and concentrate on was this term and I am honest, I hated it. 7 out of 10 ... baby ...

What I’m looking forward to in January:

Beautiful Scars (2nd)

Stoma (4th)

Cutie Pie 2 You (6th)

Utsukushii Kare: Special Edit Version (16th)

Individual Circumstances (19th)

Hit Bite Love (21st)

Kare ga Boku ni Koishita Wake (23rd)

Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (30th)

Langit Budak Biru (30th)

Future

The Luminous Solution

[trillscienceofficer]

“Distant Shores” (Voyager short story collection, 2005) review: meh

I'd hoped this collection would be better, frankly; luckily the stories that involve B'Elanna (and there were quite a few of them, to my surprise) are mostly okay. Kes also appears prominently in at least two stories but Harry didn't really get one where he's the protagonist, and I'm surprised none involved Naomi or the Borg kids. Three stories seemed very concerned with the surviving Equinox crew and at least two seemed to want to vindicate them somehow?? I don't know, weird choices. But regardless, the problem wasn't so much in the ideas but in the execution, which was often atrocious.

story-by-story breakdown under the cut

“Da capo al fine” by Heather Jarman - this is the 'frame' story, you get to read the first half at the beginning and the second half at the end, but this story doesn't work so well for this purpose as the one on “The Lives of Dax” did for that collection. The plot is about Admiral Janeway and her last moments with the Borg Queen in “Endgame” but, idk. I think the author wanted to write a reckoning with all of Janeway's arch-nemeses but the story fails to have any stakes.

“Command Code” by Robert Greenberg - Tuvok and Chakotay get snippy on the bridge once Chakotay is left in command very soon after “Caretaker”. The concept is intriguing! Unfortunately the author's style is as dull as watching paint dry.

“Winds of Change” by Kim Sheard - this one was really fun! After being possessed by Tieran, Kes is struggling with her anger and reactivity so she goes to B'Elanna for help, and they try some of B'Elanna's sports holoprograms. This does not go well! Everything seems lost until B'Elanna offers a different approach to holoprograms, and it turns out they can work well together. This was just a really nice take on a dynamic that was really underexplored in the show (the author makes a point to say so as explicitly as she can), and it's honestly one of the best stories in the bunch.

“Talent Night” by Jeffrey Lang - my man Jeffrey (of “String Theory - Cohesion” fame) contributes to the collection with a hilarious story concept and great characterization for all involved, mostly B'Elanna, Tom and Harry, who are in charge of organizing said talent night. I can almost forgive the fact that it just an elaborate setup to get B'Elanna and Tom together by making B'Elanna needlessly jealous. Almost.

“Letting Go” by Keith R. A. DeCandido - this story is about the ones 'left behind' by Voyager, the families and loved one of the crew back in the AQ. I think I would've liked this way more if the author had chosen to follow anyone else other than Janeway's fiancé Mark. I liked how grounded the story is in the events of DS9 and First Contact and the range of reactions that all these people have to Voyager's disappearance, but I found myself wondering more about Greskrendtregk and T'Pel than Mark. I also found it hilarious that the story ends with Mark having married someone else and having to write to Janeway, who he's just learned is still alive, about it. I have to say though that it was a nice touch to have a lot of the people involved be the families of the crewmen who died in “Caretaker”—they obviously don't know what happened but the reader does, so their presence lends a lot of emotional gravity to the narrative.

“Closure” by James Swallow - Seven and Neelix get trapped in a cave that used to be inhabited by aliens and Neelix walks off to find a way out when—Kes shows up. Is it a vision, induced by the Ocampa artifacts in the cave? Is it actually Kes who's come back to say goodbye? It doesn't make much difference to Neelix, who is very glad to see her again. I think I would've appreciated this story more if it hadn't turned Neelix into too much of a lovesick fool; I don't like the idea that he actually never got over Kes with this kind of intense sentimentality. The story was enjoyable but something about it rubbed me the wrong way.

“The Secret Heart of Zolazus” by Robert T. Jeschonek - this one is terrible. Seven crash-lands on a planet and is saved by an outcast who pretty much gives her life for Seven and it's supposed to be ~inspirational~ or something but it's written in a way that... I don't know, reads exactly like one of those corny christian moral stories? I swear it's one of the most artless, embarrassing things I've read this year. The one thing it has going on is that Seven gets to kneel beside this dying alien girl who's taken a hit for her and so you can read some subtext in there, but the horrifying ableism is truly not worth the ticket!

“Isabo's Shirt” by Kirsten Beyer - the horrors aren't over though because this story is worse!! It's unabashedly J/C but oh boy both Chakotay and Janeway are so HORRIBLY out of character I couldn't cope. How did this even get published? Is this shipping brain at its worst?? Plus it's embarrassingly racist. I was never particularly interested in this ship but if THIS is in any way representative I am for sure steering well clear.

“Brief Candle” by Christopher L. Bennet - note: if you can't understand the distinction between romance and workplace sexual harassment you should probably not be writing romance! This is particularly galling because this is the 'Marika Wilkarah lives on Voyager for a few weeks' story which is something I wanted to see explored for a long time, and like... Marika HAS some interiority and convictions in this story but 1. we never see her really interact with other Bajorans if not in hindsight (why??) 2. her remaining resentment for Seven is barely mentioned and 3. she basically wants to be close to someone before dying and? essentially harasses Harry into having a relationship with her?? what???? If this were a fic it should get a 'dead dove do not eat' label. That was so, so awful and such a disappointment for the interesting concept this story promised to be. As I said in a previous post, the one thing this story has got going on is that Marika sides with B'Elanna during the events of “Barge of the Dead”, which I think it's a great take! But not enough to make me forget how bad the rest is.

“Eighteen Minutes” by Terry Osborne - the story of the time the Doctor spent on the planet from “Blink of an Eye” before he got beamed back to Voyager. I'm always extremely ambivalent about Doctor episodes/stories and this one is no exception. On one hand, the conflict he faces between his programmed-in hippocratic oath and the prime directive is believable, but on the other it ends up being another one of those weird power fantasies in which the Doctor gets the boundless gratitude and undying affection of the people around him because... he's done his job as a medical practitioner? It feels in character but I don't have to like it!

“Or The Tiger” by Geoffrey Thorne - LOVELY B'Elanna characterization in this one right until the ending, which I hated. Authors always tend to exaggerate B'Elanna's propensity for violence when in reality the show consistently shows her being very restrained and extremely remorseful whenever she snaps (and she only snaps because people tell her constantly that she's unable to control herself!) It's one of those stories where the point is 'aw the Equinox crew is trying very hard to make amends and the Voyager people are being mean to them' which... baffles me as a setup? It was interesting to see B'Elanna believably get into a rabbit hole when confronted with new technology that could help Voyager! But I'm not sure she wouldn't have snapped out of it as soon as it was pointed out to her that she might've been hurting living beings with her actions. We've seen B'Elanna struggle with this kind of moral quandaries before (“Prototype” and “Dreadnought” come to mind), so that the conflict dragged out for as long as it did here (and that she beat someone up for it!) feels deeply out of character to me.

“Bottomless” by Ilsa J. Bick - another one of 'the Equinox crew deserved a second chance!' stories, this time with crewman Marla Gilmore. I loved the technological conundrum (what do you do if your submersible is stuck on the bottom of the sea??) and Marla's lingering guilt and resentment felt believable and genuine. Shame that she expresses this mostly by being mean to B'Elanna (thought it happens mostly in her head), and you get the feeling she's just sharing the author's POV, since she has Tom saying some terrible garbage too... there's really nothing quite as diabolic as misogyny (and misogyny that's racially coded) coming from women authors! Ultimately Marla sacrifices herself to save Janeway and Chakotay and in so doing she expiates all of her Equinox sins, which would be okay (I guess) if it wasn't the exact same plot of “Brief Candle”, for some reason.

[curiousb]

The Sims Tag

Thanks for tagging me, @profesionalpartyguest​, @sushigal007​ and @phoebe-twiddle​!

What’s your favourite sims death?

In all my years of playing, I’ve only ever had a total of seven Sims actually die on me, because until very recently, I’d never played any Sim for long enough (let’s just say that I have a low boredom threshold). All those have either died from old age (two), needs failure (one - oops!) and the ‘death by childbirth’ mod (four). So, I’ve never seen most of the possible deaths and can’t really say! It absolutely wouldn’t be death by cow plant though - those things seriously creep me out and are banned from my game!

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

I’d say Maxis Mix - I sit somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

Nope! If I have to work off those unwanted pounds, then so do they!

Do you use move objects?

More than you could possibly know. Especially to move toddlers up and down the stairs - because Sims can rarely get their act together to do it by themselves.

Favourite mod?

Always and forever ACR - couldn’t play the game without it. (I find instructing my Sims to woohoo just a bit too weird, so I’d rather they took matters into their own hands. And since I play a Wants-based game - as far as possible - I prefer them to take charge of their own family planning too.)

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

University. I got each and every EP and SP as soon as they were released, such was my addiction.

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

I love them all as if they were my children. I do have a sneaky extra-big soft spot for Bertram and Jasper though. OK, they were born in-game, but I created their parents, so that counts - right?

Have you made a simself?

Who hasn’t? (They were pretty dull to play though.)

What sim traits do you give yourself? Animal Lover / Eccentric / Loner / Perfectionist / Socially Awkward / Unflirty If we’re talking TS2 ‘traits’ then I’d be:

Sloppy/Neat: 8

Shy/Outgoing: 2

Lazy/Active: 4

Serious/Playful: 5

Grouchy/Nice: 6 And my Aspiration would be Knowledge/Pleasure.

Which is your favourite EA hair colour?

Meh, if you’re twisting my arm, then red.

My favourite hair colour of all is Pooklet’s ‘Brisance’.

Favourite EA hair?

I admit it, it’s still Fuzzy Long for lasses (although I do have a default replacement for it, as there are custom hairs that I like a lot more!), and Caesar or Short Gel for lads. The unisex Dread Bands also gets an honourable mention.

Favourite life stage? Young Adult, because that’s when life really starts to open up for my Sims.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Oh, both, depending on my mood! I tend to go through phases of one or the other.

Are you a CC creator? In the dim and distant Sim past, I was once a pretty prolific creator, but I got utterly burned out by it, especially since I’m painfully perfectionist and nothing was ever good enough. So, creating now very much takes a back seat, and I’m mainly just having fun actually playing the game, which I never had time to do in my creator days.

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I don’t think I’ve ever had a ‘squad’ in any capacity! :D I appreciate each and every one of my mutuals that I've ever interacted with - they’re all lovely souls!

What’s your favourite game?

Do you really need to ask? (TS2, in case there's ever been any doubt.)

Do you have any sims merch?

Is this actually a thing?

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nah, not my style - far too self-conscious!

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

As soon as I first discovered CC (I played for a couple of years without it), I craved as much realism as I could get. I also had a serious grunge phase. Now, I lean much more into the bright, cheerful, Maxis aesthetic, since for gameplay purposes, I find that it suits the cartoony feel of the game much better.

What’s your Origin ID?

Huh?

Who’s your favourite CC creator? Too many to mention. I’m immensely grateful that there are still so many terrific creators making content for TS2.

How long have you had a simblr? Since 2012, I think? It was like a ghost town around here though for a spell in the middle.

How do you edit your pictures?

Photoshop: cropping and running through @bepixeled‘s ‘Holy Colors Batman!’ actions.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

Sadly, this is a dream that can never be realised for TS2, but I’d like something similar to TS4′s Cottage Living pack (although EA’s interpretation of English country living bears absolutely no resemblance to the reality!). And rideable bikes and horses. And more BV holiday destinations; specifically something with a more European flavour (The Mediterranean! Scandinavia! The British seaside!).

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favourite so far?

EP: University (for the extra life stage and all the opportunities it brings)

SP: Mansion and Garden (for the super build mode content) I’m not going to tag anyone, as I’m really late with this, but if you’ve not done this and would like to, please go ahead - I love getting to know my fellow Simmers better!

[starrysharks]

today, i watched "saw 3D". it was a moving picture.

i'm surprised that they went off the rails for the most part of this movie (not in a good way) like this. firstly, this movie probably has the worst starter trap in saw history 💀 it was framed so ridiculously that i thought "oh, they're showing a fake trap that's being done as a prank or something" until the girl actually got sawed in half. even when blood got spilled i thought it would be revealed as ketchup later, and it was supposed to be a parody of how people view saw as over the top and silly.... but no that prank was legit.... the traps in general were a bit mediocre here, and the gore was really meh especially with the bright pink blood. iirc this movie and danganronpa came out in the same year which is a funny coincidence.

generally this movie was just sillier than the others and it was hard to suspend my disbelief with it. i think the breaking point was the car crash trap. hoffman killing a bunch of racists is lowkey #BASED but the way it's more or less him saying "when the lights turn off we're ALL black" is kinda funny. as well as that, the weird fanservicey parts (like the girl's outfit in the first trap) also took me out of the story.

other than that, the story of the movie was actually an interesting concept - guy fakes being a saw trap survivor and actually has to go through a saw trap, but compared to the other saw trap house guys, this one kind of blends in. also two teeth related tortures in one movie i feel like they're kinda running out of ideas (but that's just me nitpicking)... though i don't want to be too hard on this movie. my favorite trap was probably the one with his friend cale as it was pretty unique, didn't rely on gore, and had a good stressful atmosphere.

ignoring the main trap house plot, the continuous story here was pretty nice. hoffman going crazy and killing everyone is entertaining (even tho he killed jill </3), and gordon's big reveal was also cool, even tho i knew it was coming because i accidentally got spoiled. i think him looking at his severed foot at the end in the OG bathroom kinda showed how he left behind his compassion/a part of himself died, which if intentional was cool symbolism. i assume this really was supposed to be the final conclusion, so it makes sense that they had so many callbacks to the 2004 movie. but i wish they had more clues towards it besides bringing up gordon as much as possible in the previous movies.

this saw was not like the other saws i saw. people weren't lying when they said it was the worst - the story, while easy to follow along, was a bit dull and very silly (i know i've said silly a billion times i'm not good with words), and it really feels like its leaning in to the misconceptions and stereotypes that people give to these movies. however, it did show a huge plot twist that had an alright buildup and good conclusion. i'm giving it a solid 1.5/5, with .2 points added for john kramer's fire fucking fit at the book signing holy hell that shit was raw. hopefully saw 8 shows us who the other pig heads at the end were (maybe the other survivors at the therapy talk?) and also redeems the franchise.