#my other coworker was so confused

[fudan-no-nijiiro]

Who's got two thumbs and got to ambush a completely unsuspecting volunteer/staff member at work today bc he recognized her Ai Idol-Produced T-shirt?

This guy. This might be the highlight of my week, ngl

[team-118]

thinking 201 thoughts...what do you think 911 fox's plan was when they introduced eddie like That and had buck react Like That. like what was even the goal

[domoriu]

ive had such an…. interesting day today 😇 anyway how are you all <3

[brittlebutch]

the thing is, you’re absolutely right! because what neurotypical people sometimes don’t understand is the massive difference between the average level of social interaction that they themselves vs other people get outside of organized or scheduled events like work or school, and also don’t understand the massive difference between what failure looks like, and how those two things overlap. i’m told that among the average neurotypical person, they’ll make a point to talk to people in their lives or hang out with friends or go on dates or chat with other people in public spaces, al to have casual interactions, multiple times a day, multiple days a week. meaning, if they have a failed social interaction, it’s buffered by the many successful interactions they’ll go on to have. failure most likely won’t mean complete isolation, because they have multiple avenues of interaction to fall back on. and, moreover, a failure in a social interaction when you have (on average) fewer than most means that now rather than that person going “oh that was a weird interaction, i talk to them a lot and it’s not usually like that, maybe it was an off day” they go “huh i don’t know that person very well maybe they’re just like that?”, which means that the odds are way different on whether relationships stay good after mistakes.

social skills are not actually as inherent as neurotypical people like to think. it’s just that when you’re always in practice, always getting back on the proverbial horse, the advice “just get back out there!” does actually work very well. but if you’re not able to do that for any variety of reasons, you can’t play the game the same way. my advice is not “try harder”, it’s “lower your expectations for yourself on what a good interaction and a moment of connection might be”. just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions. remind yourself that you’re working with fewer resources and a much more limited data pool. a lot of the advice being given is coming from someone who assumes they understand what the math looks like for you, because it’s very difficult to imagine that other side. so instead of trying to overlay a system made for someone who has resources that you just don’t have, you need to figure out what a functional system of interaction looks like for you, and adapt the advice given to fit your situation. my advice, bearing that in mind, is that finding communities and groups can look like a lot of different things, and getting your social needs met can come from a lot of sources, and ideally should! you would understand best what your situation is, and there’s no shame in changing tact to accommodate for your own needs and boundaries.

forgot to answer this for a bit lol BUT yeah, the post was a little bit more about the Conceptual argument than it was about me specifically, so I'm definitely already with you re: 'finding out what your Individual social goals are and working based off of those instead having high expectations based off of other people's metric' stuff. You definitely have a huge point with the "social buffer disparity" between NT people and ND people, where failures are both less demoralizing internally and less impactful externally when you're able to have a greater average of interactions generally also

but I really appreciated the "just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions" aspect of this message. I do definitely have a recurring problem of like, labeling Myself as an Uncanny Valley Person and automatically assuming that every interaction I'm involved in must be some level of uncomfortable for the other person -- it actually was kind of a revolution moment reading this and realizing that OH it does make sense that if I can unintentionally make people uncomfortable, it's statistically just as likely that I can unintentionally lift people's spirits in one way or another! So thank you very much for that!!

[deus-ex-mona]

starting the year ✨wrong✨

[bostonbakeddeans]

i think that being trapped in a room for 12 hours while various sitcoms play in the background without being allowed to question the premise of the shows should be classified as a hate crime actually

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

[fingertipsmp3]

Had THE funniest dream last night

[greppelheks]

honestly people in this country have not heard of the saying the more the merrier, and have not figured out what it means to be hospitable yet

[fappellmoan]

just searched for and saved this video because it’s literally so important and i think about it all the time and try to reference it and nobody understands but it made me blush n giggle a little bit

[partynthem]

something has been happeniung to me lately

[floweringpopcat]

tried to tell a coworker that leonardo in tmnt: mutant mayhem is autistic-coded but now i'm worried they think i'm ableist because i did not explain at all agahshdjf

[p0stscripter]

had someone come into the store yesterday asking about a job and she had a h*rry p*tter mask on. it's bad enough that we sell those stupid pez dispensers how do i explain to my boss that i straight up would not feel safe working with a grown-ass adult who's that vocally invested in that franchise

[astrxealis]

my dad just played a bit of Nothing Else Matters just now on guitar he's so cool

[runthepockets]

Downside of transitioning: unfamiliar women are a lot more hesitant to approach you in social situations and less likely to include you in their little social circles.

Upside of transitioning: unfamiliar dudes are a lot less hesitant to approach you in social situations and a lot more likely to include you in their little social circles and that kinda makes up for it.

[albanarthan]

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