#my obsession will start showing again
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So my fic is corvosider and all that but today Iāve been rereading it to help with writers block and was reminded again just how infatuated I am with the city of Karnaca. Dumping some examples of my love-letter-ass descriptions of that sweet sweet Jewel of the South below the cut because why not:
Corvo returning to Karnaca by ship (ch 13):
Karnaca emerges dreamlike from the morning haze when the shoreline comes into view days later. Where my attention would normally be drawn by the sprawling metropolis, its edges touched softly by the summer sunrise, I instead watch the mountain overhead. Shindaerey Peak slices a sharp, bleeding edge through the mist. Pale, pink streaks of light from the east lie, refracted through the early fog, upon the side of the mountain that faces the city. But that curious crevice that splits the mountain in two is cast completely in shadow. A dark, mysterious wound carved into such seemingly unyielding stone. It appears to me an omen of the Void that lies within.
The Outsider looking down on Karnaca from up on Shindaerey Peak (ch 12):
The view of all that is below flourishes before my eyes. The beautiful spectacle that is the Jewel of the South is distant and sprawling, showing how far up weāve come. A low fog has settled into the valley, streaming down from the mountains and dissolving away at the oceanās edges. The city persists through the mist with its brilliantly colored rooftops and emerald umberwood canopies, unable to be rendered pale by the gray, unsaturated filter through which the sun radiates. I can make out the northern Campo Seta District from here and dare to wonder if I can spot my old apartment buildingā¦
The Outsider briefly stopping in Karnaca for supplies before embarking on a dangerous journey (ch 12):
I follow him down the bustling street and familiar smells of Karnaca fill my nose - the spices of a street vendor cooking meat, raw seafood hanging from the stall nextdoor, the summer humidity bringing earthy, leafy aromas with every breeze that flows down from the wind corridor to mingle with the salt-tinged air of the bay. The comfort of it all is intoxicating.
I end up hurrying past him. If we dawdle here too long, Iāll never want to leave.
Corvo and the Outsider leaving Karnaca together (ch 7):
The ship begins moving now and we quiet down. The two of us watch as the city we both love fades further and further away. As the minutes pass, its details begin to blend together in the windy seaside haze. Individual buildings become whole city blocks, masses of beige plaster and painted concrete shining in the late morning sun. The towering wind turbines appear as thin as dandelion wisps at this distance. Now from this vantage point, the mountains look like great hands, cradling the city and lowering it to drink at the waterās edge.
#okay but serious question: can I have Karnacaās babies#favorite video game city of all time#I love you darling youāre perfect#bloodflies and all#we are returning to Karnaca in the upcoming chapters so get ready#my obsession will start showing again#karnaca#beyond the spheres fic#my writing
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anyways speaking of changes from book to musical i find it fucking hilarious that the musical writers were like "so jeremy likes this super popular girl who is totally out of his league and he's convinced there is no way in hell she would ever like him let alone notice him which spurns on his decision to change to be loved. i know exactly how to write her" and then they make the most fucking autistic girl ever who is also an outcast and has strange interests and seemingly no friends and very blatantly likes and gets along with jeremy famously. like boy why are you fumbling she is you but a girl
#yes i know the point of it is like#rather than her being popular and cool and inaccessible to him#shes nerdy and strange and silly like him#which goes to show that she couldve and most likely wouldve liked him from the start#its his own insecurity and obsessions that get in the way of him believing he could be liked for who he is#and the only reason tension is caused between them is BECAUSE of him changing the way he does#i.e dont change be yourself you'll find someone who likes you for you etc etc#but like. cmon man#you're telling me THIS is his shes totally out of my league girl??#THIS is the girl who goes out with the most popular guy in school???#(i know he leaves her at the party anyways but like)#(you understand what im saying)#whatever...#its funny to me#bmc#bmc musical#jeremy heere#christine canigula#dude never in my fucking life did i think i would be posting on tumblr about bmc in the year of our lord 2025#sorry man one of the songs came on and then i listened to the whole album again because#because. i dont know man
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Okay but my heart and soul for tgcf from mnq's pov. You're wondering with your sad dead puppet friends, you're playing cards, you're teaching people here and there and then you get hired to teach a young prince. And ....he's amazing. And he has no idea what's out in the real world. But he's so talent and so good and you truly believe he could do anything. And you know you're projecting but he reminds you so much of another prince who could have done anything. But the other prince is the vilest creature you've ever met. He's the most powerful man in the universe and you know he made his own choices but it's your fault. /it's your fault/ and this young prince you're teaching. He's so so good. And this monster you've created he starts showing interest in the prince. And you know what he's like and he's/six years old/ and you pray every single day. Pleading and telling him it's different this child is his own person. Stay out of it please please just leave the boy alone but.....you know what he's like. So you train him the best you can, you make sure he will never be monstrous, and then you run as fast and as far as you can. And even though the guilt is drowning you, you tell him you warned the prince as best as you could. And as you run you know it'll never be enough but you tried. You did.
And then you find your student again after 800 years. You get captured by jun wu and he finishes torturing you just in time for you to find out your beloved student is fucking a different ghost king and honestly you're ready to be tossed into the volcano. You're not saying the tipping point was fucking the ghost king but ....you are choosing to stay in the volcano with the monster so
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#Xie lian#jun wu#hua cheng#mei nianqing#disclaimer#I don't actually know how old xie lian was when jun wu started showing interest in him or when xie lian started training#I just picked a random age#Mei nianqing's pov#Different pov my beloved#Anyway I'm obsessed with this series again
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coming up next: the shadow the hedgehog intro fully reanimated with her instead (joke)
#my art#murder drones#im actually obsesses with this show rn#well see if im obsessed enough to start drawing again in my free time#(i still draw but im in college so its all for schoolwork and i dont feel like posting it)#the caption is only half a joke#ill tackle it whenever i feel like it bc its a fun idea but i know its gonna be a lot of work and i will not line or color it#uzi doorman
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obsessed with julian asking "what did they do to you? is it some kind of punishment device?" in the wire because my god if this man didnāt go from "this is garak my super cool spy pal who i go on secret missions with and sometimes fuck teehee but also yeah his planetās kinda fucked up and heās got some weird ideas but weāre working on it" to "this is garak he's my precious little angel babyman who has been horribly traumatized and brainwashed by his government but it's okay because i'm a doctor and i will fuck and suck the fascism out of him if itās the last thing i do" in just two years. shit's wild
#i'm having a moment#again#my posts#garashir#julian that entire episode is really just ''the power of love compels you!!!!!!!'' i can't stand him#garak was blorbo from julian's shows for a hot minute there and julian was writing all kinds of woobified fanfiction about him#like i've cried a hundred times over the wire from garak's pov cuz i see it as the episode where he started to respect and love him fr fr#but for julian i think it was more of an eye-opener like. he wanted to exonerate garak of all his crimes to try to justify his crush on him#and i don't think the wire exactly proved him wrong... but i do think it revealed key details and context that he was missing before#like that garak wasn't just some underling spy he was almost the head of his organization#basically garak canonballed julian's beloved headcanons so he had to start from scratch#obsessed w garak recognizing that julian had romanticized him and being like ''ok but what if i'm just a bloodthirsty killer? what then?''#like they went thru All That just for julian to meet tain and come back like#''Your Boss Dad Is Evil The Plan To Heal You With My Dick Is Back On''#gold star for trying i guess but ur gonna be loved no matter what apparently
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I fear the ācreepy childrenās show for childrenā genre is dying, as far as Iām aware there arenāt any shows or series targeted at children that are akin to ruby gloom, growing up creepie, courage the cowardly dog (it can be argued that this one is Too Scary but I do recall loving it as a child even if it does high key frighten me when I rewatch episodes now), goosebumps and the likes and I genuinely think that kids would benefit from having more shows like these to watch. the children yearn for creepy kids shows but since their choices are so lacking they end up watching āooh scary game for adults that has creepy childrenās toysā youtube videos or shows that quite honestly arenāt for their age range (listen i also watched a lot of shows for far older audiences as a child so perhaps I shouldnāt be speaking on this but i am.)
honorable mentions include: tutenstein (I havenāt watched this since I was a kid, unsure if it counts in this genre), scooby doo (they (scooby) do(o) keep making remakes but ya know), american dragon jake long (not creepy but like very whimsical and fun, I think we need more shows like this)
#deity dialogue#yes I can simply put one of these on for my roommates little sister to watch but sheās very resistant to watch older series š#listen to me Iām going to attempt to get my roommates little sister to watch one or more of these I think I can do it maybe#she would love them I know she would because she wants nothing more than to be the child in a horror movie who is best friends with the#demon that is terrorizing the rest of her family#children love creepy shit I loved creepy shit as a child this child is obsessed with making shit scary I have a album of photos in my phone#that is dedicated to her creepy creations#this is my 5am hot take#everything targeted at childrenās is like neon claires dumbed down baby shows#which like get samey I have to think and also undermines the intelligence of children!#children are smart and I donāt think they all want to be watching the same bright glitter shows every day!#this is based on my own experience having been a child as well as again: I live in the same house as a currently 7 year old who Iāve known#since she was a wee toddler. child loves scary shit I hope that she wants to watch the shows I mentioned here again I truly think sheāll#enjoy them. I shall consult her older siblings tomorrow#she watched and enjoyed one of the recent goosebumps movies I believe#I need to make sure nothing she watches is nightmare inducing so I think Iām gonna start with growing up creepie and ruby gloom#am I making any sense?#I was out here watching Buffy the vampire slayer as a child and was watching pretty little liars since it began airing#I also watched shows like charmed and supernatural and ghost whisperer with my momma growing up#so again perhaps I am not one to speak on ākids shouldnāt be watching shows for older audiencesā but again I am
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playing EO2U again so i can see my original blorbo: flavio
#id like to thank @ezrodraws for showing up when i would google 'flavio eo2u' on my school computer#the original flavio trooper#i also started a my first email to one of my besties with 'hello' and a pic of flavio#i was downright obsessed with him in 7th grade#now everytime i see him im like wahh its flavio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cant believe hes voice by oikawa in japan that isnt real#its still technically possible for us to get a eo3u#unlikely but possible cuz they said no more 'mainline' games#but people didnt really like the eou games and we already have eo3hd#i can still hope and dream tho#i want fafnir as a generic class#and to see faf again š„ŗ#eo2u is my favorite etrian odyssey game followed by eou#and then eov i think#anyway think about flavio today#etrian odyssey 2 untold#eo2u#etrian odyssey
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Killing myself a thousand times over. Do I want the setting of Good Intentions to be past based (fantasy greece meets the industrial revolution) or futuristic (fantasy greece meets itself after a stupidly ambiguous amount of years)
#notnow#good intentions#see the thing is. im coming to realize that good intentions has a lot to do with energy/creating forms of energy#which situates its best two setting options either at the industrial revolution (for self explanatory reasons) or in a far off future (wher#maybe all established energy forms are getting fucked and new alternatives need to be found)#i do sort of want like. an older fantasy feel for the work hence my leaning towards industrial revolution. also bc thatd set the sequel in#the early 20th century which would just delight me overall#whereas with a timeskip like that in an already futuristic setting its like. okay. how much further can i take it / how can i meaningfully#actually show the impacts the findings of the first book have had on society at large#also some of the jobs and overall vibe of good intentions calls back to an older time ie niovi's mom singing moirologia#but at the same time. i shant lie. trying to correlate the overall vibe of the industrial revolution on what is essentially greece#(who actively did not have an industrial revolution on that scale due to the 600~ years of ottoman everything)#is proving a little hard. as is serrating what would be hashtag greek in that period from what would be turkish when today obviously its al#so intertwined. but in fantasy greece that occupation simply didnt happen which is lending itself a bit weird to translating traditions#and such. at least in a futuristic setting a lot of this history would be a given and i could move ahead from ot#*it even.#and maybe tie the history into a perfect loop of like.. yk when things go so far into the future they begin to revert into the past etc#if i did future though fantasy greece would have to take on a bit more of a 1:1 role in its correlation to greece. as opposed to#the industrial revolution where it primarily relies on greek aesthetics but that i can play around in lotr style#. this is essentially becoming a matter of me trying to decide if i should style my book's setting after lotr or the locked tomb i am comin#to realize. right.#at least in the future hess would get to smoke which she deserves. but at the same time nothing about her place in her society would pack#the same punch. unless her corner of the society was more obsessed with nationalistic preservation and thus more old fashioned? but ugh#if i keep my current setting (place divided into four parts) and place it in the future i worry it starts giving divergence#head in my actual stupid fucking hands. i need to lock in#its going to take me a william years to introduce this project again the way we are going#also ignore the typos in this rant my tags refused to cooperate on all fronts
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my āfor youā page is fucked. Completely unusable
#It just gives me fandom posts I couldnāt care less about#And also arcane stuff. Which I want to see EVENTUALLY#BUT I HAVENT WATCHED THE SHOW SHITBAGS#All Iām getting are spoilers and shit I donāt want to see#Oh and donāt even get me STARTED on tumblrās obsessive need to shove communities in our faces#WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF SEEING POSTS IF WE CANT REBLOG THEM TUMBLR?#THIS IS YOUR WHOLE THING. REBLOGGING SHIT#so you give us something that TAKES REBLOGGING AWAY#AND WONDER WHY NOBODY USES IT#āOh but at least you can still interact with the posts! You can comment and add little emojis! Itās like custom like buttons-ā#NO YOU CANT#YOU HAVE TO **JOIN THE COMMUNITY FIRST**#SO ITS SHOWING ME POSTS#I CANT INTERACT WITH#AT FUCKING ALL#FOR COMMUNITIES#THAT I#-and I cannot stress this enough through tag formatting-#***HAVENT EVEN JOINED***#I hope you guys know this is the loudest Iāve screamed in my head in a *long* time#tumblr your website only makes me want to delete my account more and more every fucking day#From the constant and unavoidable bot spam#That I had to turn off one of your best features (inbox) to avoid#(that I STILL canāt avoid btw because now theyāre just @āing people at random in the comments of their posts)#(Oh and thatās not even mentioning the adult spam bots following me again)#To the constant showing me of shit I donāt care about#I just#cant anymore
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When I made the decision to watch Rizzoli & Isles I promised myself I wouldn't become obsessed because I'd been down that road before but now my tumblr is 95% Rizzoli & Isles 𤣠HELP
#rizzoli & isles#of all the current lesbian related stuff to be into i'm fixated on a non canon ship ship from a tv show that ended 8 years ago š¤£#fmllll#the heart wants what it wants š¤·#and rn my heart wants#rizzles#and#jane rizzoli#anyway that's one reason i started tagging again because i went from posting absolutely nothing about rizzol & isles to#to it being practically everything#ship ship????#I'm too obsessed š©
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rewatching the night of the doctor eight times in a row single handedly making me want to listen to all the mcgann BFAs bc good lord i'm obsessed.
I gotta look around bc genuinely i kinda do want some like. before he joins the time war era shit. It just- the line alone of like. "I'm one of the good ones" "Who can tell the difference anymore" shit like FUCKKK
#guys im being normal about doctor who again dw#idk what it is - prob bc i watched the newest season recently finally#but ive been on such a doctor who kick -in case you haven't noticed-#like. idk man i feel like ive been so out of doctor who the past few years#like for the majority of my life it was my only personality trait#and it still is to an extent. i still have a vast useless amount of doctor who info in my brain instead of useful things#like how the gov works. or how to do laundry#but. idk it took a back burner for a few years#but idk. like i wouldn't even say anything from gatwa's season like blew me away#i did like boom but like-#idk it wasn't bad but. no huge show stopper obsessions for me#i did however love gatwa's portrayal and i did literally read some fic for fifteen#something i rarely do for doctor who weirdly - tho partially bc of lack of five whump content XD#but like. idk it kick started a new weird background obsession that leads me to just nostalgically watch doctor who clips for hours#i love it#first getting back into anime now this? I really am just reliving childhood at this point in my life. very silly goofy fun times#but its better than being horrifically sad so no complaints here
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force šā¤ļø
Canāt believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still canāt believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because Iāve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (Iām sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear itās speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i havenāt#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah thatās how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao š)#Iāve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff itās so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I donāt go there and probably never will š#I personally donāt enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesnāt negatively affect anyone#but yeah Iād much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like Iām not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what Iāve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#Iāve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you donāt love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you donāt deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* itās a package deal you canāt just pick and choose and personally I donāt even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone whoās passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters š¤·š»āāļø#I think Iāve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (canāt believe Iāve yapped so much I canāt put more tags š)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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mullet and tattoos
(x)
#link neal#dispatches from myrtle beach#dfmb#link in black#y'all#i'm so obsessed with this look it's absolutely insane#he really is in his bad boy era#WOW#when he started tugging and playing with his hair i almost passed out#whoops#my hair kink is showing again#lol#anyway#i'm so excited for this look and to see where link takes it#and when the back gets even longer and fluffier? then WHAT#ahhhh#my post#mullet link
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itās March 10thā¦..you know what that meansā¦ā¦reminiscing on That
#ohhh March 10th ouygghhhh#what is March 10th you may ask? heh. well.#about two years ago a series I canāt exactly say I enjoy was ending#but I was holding out hope that maybe. just maybe. my favorite characters would get a good ending#only redeeming part of the show. only reason I ever cared about it#so when it was announced there was an episode focusing on them airing on March 10th? I went feral and counted down to the last hour#one month until March 10th. 3 weeks. 2 weeks. one week. 4 days. 1 day. 13 hours. it was truly an obsession#and for what? I canāt exactly answer that. I donāt know what I was hoping for#some sort of redemption perhaps? that this show that I despise so heavily could pull through in the end?#in retrospect it was a ridiculous thing to think because Oh Boy#so on March 10th 2023 after a month of borderline insanity over this stupid episode. I woke up at 5 in the morning to watch it#watch it the best I could anyway. not officially and not subbed but. watch it nonetheless#and I will never forget the pure horror I felt when the episode wasnāt just boring. it was actively Bad. it was actively ruining my beloveds#it was everything I hated about the show wrapped up in a neat little bow. tailor made to piss me off#and I just. went back to bed and stared at the ceiling for an hour trying to process how something could be So Bad#that show never did redeem itself. it went out not with a bang but with a sputter like a dying fish#and now every March 10th that anger is renewed. after that day I stopped caring but the anger never went away#I wasted a month of my life waiting for an episode that was total garbage#aaandYES that show WAS in fact pokemonandWOAHHH YEAH MY FAVORITES WERE TEAM ROCKET HOW COULD YOU FUCKIN TELL#fun FACT I ACTUALLY DO FUCKING LOVE TEAM ROCKET AND THERES A A REAOSN I RESAD ROOTS IN THE FIRTS OKACE OTEHR THANPUMPKIN DADDY#AND EVEN THOUGH I DONT CARE ABOUT THE POKMEON ANIME ANYMORE I STILK LIKE ROOTS BETTER THAN THAT EPUSODE Iām GONNA EXPLODE#DAMN ITTTTT SOMETIMES I FORGET ROOTS IS ABOUT POKEMON IN THE FIRST PLACE#BUT THAT UNDERLYING TEAM ROCKET APPRECIATION IS STITO TEHRE DUCK!!! FICKL#ICANT LOOK AT THEM WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT ODBC NOW BUY OUHGHJ I SRILL LOVE GEHM#OFC COURSE THEY WEREE MY FAVORITE IWAS A CLOSSESTED QUEER TEENAGEr sobs SOBS#ok back to my regularly scheduled pumpkin daddy time to never bring this up ever again#actually no fuck it I think I will bring it up. get ready Iām pissed again#yeah lmfao I thought I stopped caring after starting PDBC but no the anger persists
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10 Things for 10 People Youād Like to Know Better!
tagged by @ennn !
ā¢Ā last song:Ā mirror by the last dinner party (decided to finally listen to thier debut after watching them perform at the brits last night and oh boy they are so good)
⢠last book: green arrow: year one. if comics count. else the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson
⢠last movie: wicked! watched it for the 5th time a couple days ago
⢠last TV show: very important people (or station 19, if webshows don't count)
⢠favourite colour: yellow!!!!!!! (i'm sure this is a big surprise)
⢠sweet/savory/spicy: sweet
⢠relationship status: š its just me in here
⢠last thing I googled: green arrow year one (couldn't remember if i'd got the title right lmao)
⢠current obsession: so many. can't stop thinking about vip lore. but also severance is gutting me whole. but also there's those gay witches. but also doctor who is coming back. but also i'm deep in grey's anatomy. but also elsbeth <3. but also
⢠looking forward to: when i can finally play f major on guitar without my thumb cramping. also the leftover chicken korma i'm gonna have in 10 minutes. also when they finally send me my master's degree :)
if you see this you can consider yourself tagged or whatever if you want
#/tagged#doctor who in a month how we feeling#also yeah i started grey's last year & i'm now currently on s15 (& s2 of station 19) & idk what to tell you#meredith grey's wide eyed depression has bewitched me body and soul#& currently teddy's just come back & i am so happy. teddy altman they could never make me hate you#i miss cristina yang with every season but without her departure we never would've gotten eve polastri so i can kinda live with it#but imo private practise was NOT worth losing addison forbes montgomery not even close. tho twas still fun#oh the fireman one is fun too. i prefer it to pp but that might just be bc it's set like. now instead of in 2007 dsjakldsjakl#i heard that maya & carina are gonna be a thing at some point & i am fascinated to see how the hell that happens#sorry for rambling abt grey's in the tags i guess#but i have literally nobody to talk about with this show it's criminal minds all over again#sorry for getting obsessed with 2000s american procedurals again#like it's my fault#anyway gonna go eat some curry & then draw bad severance fanart. bye
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I realized I have a social media addiction bc Ive been using it since I was 11 years old and my brain grew with it. And my relationship to it is addictive in nature bc I look at it to avoid myself. I wasnt using it for a few years but ever since I started going on here again a month and a half ago theres been a palpable difference in my self discipline and my ability to carry out tasks like every time I try to do anything I get a headache bc it's too hard and it's not quick dopamine. Like I can feel the brainrot
#It's like crack I kept feeling this urge to check tumblr all day and I couldnt unglue my brain from it#I just felt totally compromised#When i was a teenager i would pour hours into this site and later instagram and it always felt like i never had any tiiiime#Im going to have to limit my use of this site especially since im starting college in the fall auuughhh#BUT I LOVE ITTT ššššš#Like i couldnt get addicted to wine and im not addicted to drugs. Im addicted to This. Shit.#And also feeling like I neeeed to indulge having fun/''playing'' to fill the void#I have to play a videogame I have tondraw a picture. I have to watch a star trek whatever it is. I feel the voidddd if i dont#And it's never satisfied. And its always hungry again#Like I just obsessively worked on drawings and fucked around on here and played this game where i was someone i wasnt#And everybody loved me I was like wheee im sydney im sydney im sydney im sydney!!!!!! Look at meeeeeeee#Like it was the sydney show. But i had to sense of self or ability to intimately connect with people#Like do you get thatttt#This is what i did to avoid my ptsd and thats why im addictedddddd
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