#my nose & my mind r in shambles

[tamagotchikgs]

eating a croissant n crying while zil sprints around my room and jumps off my chest w the power of a semi truck

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[mrs-takami-keigo]

Never

NEVER |Natsuo x Fem!Reader

This is my contribution to the BNHArem server Collab. My first collab with this amazing group of people and my first time writing Natsuo. The theme this month was APOCALYPSE! You can find all other characters written by amazing authors here. Also huge shoutout to @thisisthehardestthing for helping me edit this monster!

Description: Natsuo awoke to a new world a different kind of world. Streets were desolate and bare, there was nothing left for him, until he met you.

Warnings: Explicit! 18+, oral (giving/receiving), unprotected sex, blood, violence, death and mentions of abuse.

Word count: 9.4k

“Cryogenic chamber four hundred and twenty now opening.”

The sound of a metal door opening echoed throughout the desolate underground bunker. Grey eyes opened, his vision blurry, mind fuzzy as he tried to take a staggering step forward. Natsuo could feel his stiff muscles stretch with each baby step he took.

Stumbling over his feet, Natsuo leaned on the edge of the door as his left hand reached across him to grab hold of the sleeping chamber. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember where he was and how he got there.

The only thing that came to mind was how he was in class, and then the sound of people panicking, screaming and running as they ran for shelter, himself included. The more he tried to think about it the stronger his raging headache grew. Gathering his strength, he pushed himself off from his leaning post, the first thing he had to do was get out of this cold, underground maze.

“Hello?!” With all the time he had spent searching every hallway and corridor he hadn’t seen a single person. “How the fuck could I be the only person here?”

Making a right Natsuo stopped, he couldn’t believe it he finally found an exit! If he was to get outside he was for sure going to see other people. Gathering up what little energy he had, Natsuo started to run to the giant metal door that had the word ‘EXIT’ written above it in bright red letters.

As he ran all he could think about was his family. Were they okay? Are they still living? And what exactly happened that day? Finally, he reached the door. He placed both of his hands on the cold metal and with his eyes closed, he pushed it open. The feeling of the sun on his body made Natsuo’s eyes open. When he first entered the bunker it was on campus, near the auditorium. So when his vision cleared that’s what he was expecting to see: his beautiful campus. Natsuo felt his mouth go dry and his throat close up, his school was left in shambles. Buildings had moss and vines growing on the sides of them, windows busted, some of the building was missing. Taking shaky steps, he wondered around the area, it all looked like ancient ruins.

“How did this happen?” His voice was nothing short of a whisper.

Everything looked as if it was from every zombie apocalypse movie he’d ever seen. There was no way this was real, this had to be one of his nightmares. He could feel his heart race as panic started to rise in his body. Natsuo felt as though he couldn’t breath, like something was pushing down on his chest.

He heard the leaves of the overgrown bush behind him start to shake.

“Hello?! Is someone there?! Please, I don’t know what’s going on. Can you help me?!”

The desperation in his voice was evident but the bush said nothing back. There was an eerie silence, a chill ran down his spine. Something was telling him to run and get the hell out of there. But his legs never got the message. They were firmly planted on the ground, trembling.

The next few moments happened in slow motion before his eyes. A giant, dark green hand pushed through the branches allowing it to open up, making an opening for the monster to step out. Natsuo took a shaky step back as the monster stood tall revealing its true height. It had to have been at least seven feet tall, skin a dark green with scar marking all over it. It had the face of a person but the only things missing were it’s eyes. The giant monster had its nose turned up as if he was sniffing.

“I can smell your fear boy, you’re terrified.” It’s voice was like a deep grumble. With two large steps, it stalked closer to Natsuo. “It’s been a while since I’ve smelt pure fear like this. You must have just woken up, meaning there is a bunker here somewhere.”

The monster was practically on top of him at this point. Natsou’s mind screamed for him to move but he couldn’t, sheer terror of the situation had taken over his body.

“Tell me, boy, were there others with you? You se,, me and my comrades haven’t had a proper meal in days now. And I would rather keep you as a meal for myself than share.”

Natsuo’s eyes widened when the monster mentioned meal.

‘It’s gonna eat me? No! No I can’t let it!’ Clenching his jaw and fists, he gathered up the last of his energy to make a break for it. Turning over his should,r, Natsuo ran, thank god he was a health and wellne major s kept his body in shape. He had to get outta there, he had to find help.

“Someone please help me! It’s gonna eat me please! Anybody!”

“Your words are useless out here boy! Just accept your fate already!” The monster was right on Natsuo’s heels.

Closing his eyes, Natsuo pushed his legs to run faster. He had to find a weapon, anything to hit this thing with, or he was done for. Glancing over the ground, the man searched for something, to his right he spotted a broken piece of railing that was used for the stairs. He now just had to find the strength to get to it before that thing had a chance to wrap it’s giant hands around him.

The loud thuds of the monster's steps got louder, meaning he had to be right behind Natsuo. Looking over his should, he watched as the green giant swung his arm forward, ready to snatch him. Flinging himself forwards, Natsuo dodged the monster by the skin of his teeth. Skidding across the hard concrete that had shattered pieces of glass from the building near it, Natsuo grabbed the pipe in his hand. With the adrenaline pumping through his veins, his body never fully registered the sharp shards of glass that were embedded in his skin. The metal pipe firmly grasped in his right hand as stood , his breath hard due to the running and fear that still weighed heavy in his chest.

“I have to give it to you boy, you sure are gutsy. But that fear, I can still smell it.” The monster started to drool long black tongue hanging out of his mouth as if he were a dog.

“I could taste it now, your skin breaking as my teeth sink in. Judging by how fast and how long we were running I’m assuming you are athletic, yes? That means you have fine lean meat!” Natsuo’s body couldn’t stop shaking. Was this how he dies? “I won’t even cook you boy, oh no. I want to hear your screams as I tear into you!”

“No.” His voice was nothing more than a whisper. “This isn’t how I’m going to die! I’ve lived through too much fucking shit to die by your hands!”A bellowing laugh ripped through the monster at his words. “If you haven’t noticed boy, there i nowhere left for you to run! You drove yourself into a dead end!”

Looking around, Natsuo felt his resolve leave his body. He was so focused on finding a weapon that he didn’t even notice his surroundings. How was he going to get out of this? Of all the fucked up ways to die. Natsuo started to laugh, it started off slow but as he kept laughing, it built up to a manic

“Well, ain’t this some funny shit.” His stoic grey eyes looked at the monster in front of him. He felt like a child again, the monster in front of him gave him the same feeling his father did. His body trembling, heart racing, was he just going to stand here and let this thing eat him or was he going to do something about? Hand tightening around the pole he made up his mind.

“I won’t go out like this, bastard, you hear me!? I’m not that scared little boy anymore!” He lunged for the monster, holding the pipe like a baseball bat.

Closing his eyes and screaming Natsuo started to swat the monster. He didn’t know if it was going to do any damage, but he wasn’t going to just sit there and die. He had to fight back. He felt the weapon make contact with the side of the beast but nothing happened.

“I must say, I do admire your spirit boy, but did you think that would do anything?” Natsuo opened his eyes to see that the metal pipe had bent around the monster.

“No...” The pipe fell out of his trembling hands. He was going to die. This was it for him, he was about to get eaten alive. The beast wrapped it’s large hand around Natsuo’s body lifting him off the ground.

“I’m gonna thoroughly enjoy this, boy.” The monster opened his mouth, strings of saliva formed, drool dripped down the sides.

His brothers, sister and mother flashed through his mind. A small smile graced his lips and his eyes closed, the thought that if they were dead, he would be able to see them. He wouldn’t be alone.

His thoughts were cut short when he heard the monster choke. Soon, he felt a warm liquid spray across his face.

‘What the hell is this?’ He felt himselffall forward. The body of the monster crashed to the ground, it’s grip loosening on Natsuo’s body, allowing him to escape from his clutches. Scrambling on the ground, Natsuo backed as far as he possibly could, soft whimpers coming from him. His back hit what he figured was a wall, his mind too frantic to think. His eyes were still coated with that warm liquid so he couldn’t see. The sound of glass crushing beneath a pair of feet caught his attention.

“Please I don’t want to die yet.”“Shh.” It was a woman's voice. “Just be quiet, you’re not gonna die, not today at least.”

He could feel your presence right in front of him as you squatted down in front of him. Going through your backpack, you grabbed a bottle of water and a towel.

“I’m going to pour some water on your eyes, okay?”

You watched as he nodded his head. You heard him calling out for people, but as you were about to call back that’s when you saw the alien step from the bushes.

Pouring the water down his face you watched as the yellow blood started to mix with the water, sliding down. Taking the soft towel you gently wiped his eyes and skin.

“Try to open your eyes slowly for me.” He seemed to be a bit more calm now but still on edge, and you didn’t blame him. From what you knew everyone that had gone to the bunkers were already awake so why did it take him so long to wake up?

Natsuo’s vision was blurry at first but he could make out the silhouette of your figure in front of him. Blinking a few times, his vision became clearer and so did you. You had black combat boots on with black cargo pants. The top you had on looked like it once used to be a long leather trench coat but you ripped the sleeves off and a belt keeping the top part of it closed. Metal arm guards were wrapped around your forearms protecting the exposed body part. He could see what he assumed to be the hilts of two swords sticking out from behind your shoulders. Natsuo had expected you to have dirt all over your face and hair a greasy mess, but it seemed like you were able to take care of yourself.

“Can you see alright?” You waved your hands in front of his face. His grey eyes were void of many emotions not that you could blame him, he was about to be eaten alive.

“Yeah, I can see fine. Who are you?”

“We can exchange pleasantries later, right now we have to go. I’m sure his buddies can smell his blood and are already on their way here.” Natsuo looked around you to see the monster had been split in half all the way down to it’s chest, yellow goo spilled out of it, pooling around it.

You grabbed him by the hand hoisting him up to his feet, before running. You had to get out of there. If your hunch was right there would be about five aliens with the other one. You had plenty of odds stacked against you, the man behind you was defenseless and still confused and there was no way you could take them all on your own.

“My camp isn’t far from here, just keep running okay?” You looked behind you to make sure he heard you. With a small nod of his head Natsuo picked up his speed. This was going to be his life now, he just hoped his family didn’t have to endure this hell on earth. “Natsuo to your left!” You had just slit the throat of an alien only to see two of them running straight for your partner.

“Bring it on, you son of a bitch.” Quickly he grabbed the two guns that were in its holsters strapped on either side of his body. Taking aim, he shot them both off, watching as the small bullets soared through the air before hitting their target.

You watched as his two accurate shots hit the aliens right in the middle of their foreheads. The giant beings stopped mid run, falling to the ground with a giant thud on the floor of the building. Looking back to where those shots originated, you saw Natsuo put the guns back in his holster. You felt a wave of pride rush through you. To think, this was the same man you met almost a year ago.

After saving him from the alien after he woke up you took him to your camp where you answered all his questions. It was then you figured out that he had been in the cryogenic chambers for almost five years since the aliens raided earth.

He had asked you to train him, help him survive this hell and help find his family. You were a lone wolf so why had you agreed to do this stupid mission? You had no idea, there was something about him and you wanted to know what.

“Do you always have to be flashy when killing those fuckers?” His stern voice brought you out of your thoughts.

“Excuse me? I’m an assassin, sir, that means I have to do it as quickly and as quietly as I can. So if that requires me to do a few acrobatic moves then so be it.” You wiped the yellow blood off your blades on the body of the alien you had taken down. Moving your arms behind you, you put the swords back in their sheaths that were strapped to your back.

“How come you never use those moves on me?” You felt him wrap his strong arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. His dark green clad leg was between yours, chiseled chest pressed against you. You could smell his natural musk as it hit your senses. The tight black turtleneck he wore did nothing to hide his body from you. The leather holster he had not only held his guns but also showed off his broad shoulders.

Natsuo already had a great physique before you trained him. After killing these things for almost a year and your training, he was built like a God.

“Get your hands off of me, you scoundrel.” You placed your hands on his chest shoving him away. Your partnership with the man started to go to a different level about a few weeks ago. There was no doubt you were attracted to him and he was sure as hell attracted to you. He’s made that point very well known but you were always hesitant when it came to taking it there.

You only had each other, what if it didn’t work out? Then what if you break up and you’re all alone again? Or worse what if he dies or you die, then what? How were you supposed to carry on? You were so lost in your worries, you didn’t notice Natsuo come close to you again, his calloused hands cupping your face making you look at him.

“Look at me, snowflake.” Your eyes met his warm grey ones. God, those eyes, they always did something to you. You’ll never forget the first time he opened them when you saved him. The way his terrified eyes softened when he finally saw you, it made your heart do things it hadn’t done in years.

“I already know what you’re thinking. I would never leave you no matter what, you hear me?” He grabbed your hand placing it over his heart. “The only reason my heart is beating, the only reason, I’m breathing today, is because of you.”

You could feel your breath hitch in your throat, tears gathering in the corner of your eyes. This man can come off as an arrogant elite but you knew he was the most caring and loving person you’ve ever met. Natsuo had told you about his past life with his insufferable abusive father, Enji. The horrors that man put his family through and how he used his money and power to keep people quiet. He even had the police wrapped around his finger, it made your blood boil.

“Natsuo.” You leaned into his touch. “I just get scared is all. What if you die?”

“I won’t die sno-“

“Come on Natsuo look at where we are?!” You didn’t mean to yell at him but the fear of losing him took over you. “We are surrounded by blood and corpses of humans and aliens. We’ve been lucky so far but that’s bound to run out! The world we live in, it’s inevitable, we’re going to die!”

The tears never stopped falling from your eyes. Natsuo never stopped looking at you, never showed an ounce of anger.

“Listen to me cause I’m only going to say it one more time.” He bent down so his lips were close to yours, “I will never leave you.” With each word, he pressed his chapped lips on your face, first was your forehead, then he moved to your right cheek, followed by the left one, the salty taste of your tears on his lips. When he said ‘leave’, he kissed the tip of your nose before finally reaching your lips.

You’ve shared many kisses with him by now but this one was different. He was trying to make you understand that no matter what happens he would be there to protect you, to love you.

Breaking away, Natsuo placed his forehead on yours.

“Come on we still have to secure the building, make sure nothing else is in here with us, okay?” You closed your eyes, nodding your head. He was right. We just have to focus on the now and right now, he was here. His heart beating under your hand.

“That’s my girl.” He gave you a swift peck on your lips before he walked away from you, going up the stairs of the abandoned office building to check the second floor while you finished checking out the first. After about two hours, you and Natsuo had secured the building setting up traps at the entrance to alert you if something were to try to get in. But not before you disposed of the bodies in the building humans and aliens alike. Over years of dealing with the aliens, you realized if you burnt the bodies it would eliminate the smell that attracts them. There were more aliens than people so the population went almost extinct in the first two years. Now, with less and less humans, the hungrier and desperate the aliens got.

“Here, have the last bit of the ramen. You’ve hardly eaten today.” You looked over to Natsuo as he held out his chopsticks that had a heap of ramen between them. You both decided to set up camp in what you guessed to be the conference room. “Say ah~”

You chuckled but did as he said, nonetheless. You leaned over to him, opening your mouth as wide as you could. Your tongue peaked out first to cup the hanging noodles, guiding them into your mouth while Natsuo slid the rest in. What you thought was just a normal act of eating noodles was anything but, for the male in front of you. You chuckled but did as he said, nonetheless. You leaned over to him, opening your mouth as wide as you could. Your tongue peaked out first to cup the hanging noodles, guiding them into your mouth while Natsuo slid the rest in. What you thought was just a normal act of eating noodles was anything but, for the male in front of you.

Natsuo felt his mouth go dry, and he watched that pink muscle come out of its wet cavern to slowly and gently take those noodles into your hot mouth. He felt his cock twitch in his pants, he bit his lip. He always wondered what his cock would feel like in that mouth. How those pretty pink lips of yours would feel like as they wrapped around him.

“Natsuo?” He looked like he was frozen in place, his hand still up in the air as if still feeding you, his grey eyes glazed over. You watched as his hand lowered, slowly putting the chopsticks down on the table. When he looked back at you his loving grey eyes were dark and full of lust.

“Come here.” He grabbed you by the back of your neck pulling you to him. He stopped right before his lips could connect to your own. The tips of your noses touched, his ridged breath fanned over you, your own breath getting stuck in your throat. The heat in your body raged inside of you as you kept staring into his eyes, you could feel your pussy begin to throb.

“Snowflake, I need you.” The sound of your nickname felt different when he said it this time. His voice was so deep it was almost primal. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”

You grabbed him by the back of his neck like he did yours, your fingertips gripping him. “Then what the fuck is stopping you.”

That was all he needed to hear. Slamming his lips against your own, all you could feel was his passion, his lust for you. This kiss was nothing like the sweet one you shared earlier, this one was full of teeth and tongue. You tried to fight him for dominance but lost in the end.

You could feel him push his chair from under him as he started to stand, bringing you with him. Your arms found their way around his neck as your hands ran through his thick white hair. Not having cut it in almost a year, he let it grow out, it wasn’t too long but it was long enough to put it in a bun if he wanted to.

You could feel his hands wander down your back before finally landing on your ass. He gave it a harsh squeeze, followed by a smack causing you to break away from him and moan.

“Oh, so you like that, don’t you?” His lips were on your ear as he spoke. Slowly, he started to kiss and nip at it, letting his tongue lick the shell of it. “Take off your top for me.” Your hand flew to the zipper of your leather top, making fast work of getting rid of it. Throwing the heavy material across the room leaving you in just a sports bra, you watched as he lifted his top over his head, letting you have a clear view of his exposed upper body. Stepping closer to him, you let your hands go where they pleased. His arms were thick with soft definition to them, his pecks on the other hand were prominent and firm under your touch. Your fingertips ghosted over his abs, you could see his muscles jump under his skin. Your hand stopped when it came in contact with the soft white hair right below his belly button.

“Get rid of this too, I wanna see all of you snowflake.” His pointer finger hooked itself to the strap of your bra pulling at it. You didn’t hesitate, you wanted and needed him as much as he did you. Chucking the garment like you did your top, you stood before him, tits out, your nipples semi-hard from the cool breeze coming through the room. “God you’re so fucking beautiful.”

Natsuo cupped both of your breasts in his hands, his thumbs going over your nipples. You hissed at the contact, your nipples were always so sensitive and they reacted almost immediately to his touch. He pinched your hardened buds between the side of his finger and thumb making you throw your head back, moaning out for him.

Natsuo took this opportunity to latch his mouth to your neck, sucking on it leaving a red and purple mark in its wake.

“Those nipples of yours aren’t the only ones hard, baby.” His teeth scraped against your throat as his hips rolled into yours, making you feel him. “Don’t be selfish.”

“Fuck, Natsuo.” Your nimble fingers started to unbutton his pants, nearly ripping his zipper off. You cupped him over his underwear, his cock was hard and hot in your hand. Natsuo growled and bit down on your neck as a reaction to the sudden touch of your hand on him. His hips started to move in your hand trying to relieve himself of the tension.

You pulled away from him, Natsuo watched with a surprised expression as you dropped to your knees in front of him. Hooking your hand on the waistband of his pants and underwear you yanked them both down allowing his cock to be freed of its confinement.

You’ve felt him through his pants over the past couple of weeks during the make out sessions but that did him no justice. He had length to him, sure, but it was how thick he was that made your mouth water. It was as hard as a rock, you could see the vein on the underside of it pulsating.

“Are you gonna keep starin’ at it or are you gonna suck it?” Natsuo was speaking through his teeth, his voice sounded as if he was threatening you, and you liked it. He started to pump his dick with his own hand, as you lowered yourself so that you were sitting on your heels you could feel how wet your pussy was for him.

You placed your hands on his muscular thighs and opened your mouth sticking your tongue out like you did with the noodles. “Ahhh~.”

“Didn’t know you were such a slut for me, baby.” He placed the tip of his cock on your tongue, a small whimper came from him as he did. You slid the rest of your mouth around him, lips wrapping around his girth. “Fuck, that’s beautiful babe, just like that.”

His hands found their way in your hair pushing it out of your face. He gathered it in one of his hands, like a makeshift hair band, while his other one pushed his own hair out of his face so he could see you suck him off.

He felt so good in your mouth, you had to relax your jaw just to fit him in. Your head bobbed up and down, the mix of your saliva and his pre-cum in your mouth made sloshing sounds with each movement. Natsuo wasn’t quiet like some men you’ve encountered before. He was vocal, he kept moaning for you, whimpering for you. He was showing you just how good you make him feel. He was letting you know that it was you doing this to him. With a deep breath through your nose you took all of him.

“Holy shit!” Natsuo threw his head back when you did that. He was sure he could feel the back of your throat with the tip of his cock.

It took everything in you to control your gag reflex. Looking up, you made contact with the grey eyes you’d fallen for. He was staring at you, mouth agape in shock. Taking another breath through your nose, you hummed around him, that sent vibrations throughout his entire body.

“Do that again for me, baby.” You did, but this time your hand lifted off his thigh to cup his balls. The moan that ripped out of Natsuo’s mouth almost made you cum. To know that you were giving him this pleasure, that you were the one making him a moaning mess.

You slid him out of your mouth, a string of saliva connected from your lips to him dripping down, drool slipping out the side of your mouth. The hand that was on his balls came to hold onto the base of his cock. With your eyes still locked on his you held up his wet cock, taking a long languid stroke of your tongue up his entire length. Once you reached the tip, you placed a sweet kiss on it, sending shivers down his spine.

“Who’s the slut now, Natsuo?” You kept peppering little cat-like licks on his cock, each time you did, his thigh muscle would jump.

“Get on the damn table, now!” You smiled as he grabbed you by the shoulders hoisting you up to sit on the table. “You think you’re hot shit, don’t you, brat?” He had you trapped between the table and himself. Pushing himself forward as he spoke, he made you lean further back on the table. “Just ‘cause you had me moaning for you as you sucked my dick, don’t mean shit. I bet you’re soaked, your underwear flooded with your own juices.” Once he had you flat on your back, he stood up straight hands on your waist. In one swift motion, he pulled your pants down, allowing him to see just how right he was.

Leaning back over you, he whispered in your ear. “See, this is how we’re different, you were sucking me off, of course, I’d be a moaning mess. But you, you were creating a fucking river for me and I haven’t even done anything yet.”

Natsuo let one finger trail down from your lips to the hem of your underwear, teasing you by putting his finger in the waistband, only to take it out again. You whispered something under your breath, this didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“What was that baby? I can’t hear you.” That cursed finger moved. It’s now trailing down the outside of your left leg.

“Please, Natsuo, touch me.”

“I’m sorry, it seems like I lost my hearing, can you say that louder?”

“I want you to fucking touch me, Natsuo, please!” Everything happened so fast, the man above you ripped your underwear off with his bare hands shredding it to pieces. Natsuo lifted your lower half off the table and into the air, wrapping his arms around your waist while your legs were slung over his shoulders.

“What the-“ you didn’t have time to finish your sentence before his mouth latched itself to your throbbing clit. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he continued his assault on your pussy. Your body was practically bent in half so you couldn’t reach his hair to grab onto so you threw your hands above your head to hold onto the edge of the table. “Your tongue feels so good, Natsuo.” Your breaths came out as short pants as his skilled tongue was playing with your hardened bundle of nerves with the way he went from flicking it to rolling his tongue over it in a painstakingly way or when he decided to suck on it. You moaned extra loud when his tongue swept over your hole.

Natsuo hummed in satisfaction by your response to his hot muscle teasing you. This position he had you in was getting you hotter by the second, it felt almost primal. You could watch his every movement but you also got to stare at his lust coated eyes. Your legs tightened around his neck, making sure to keep him in place. You could tell he was smirking when you did this, it meant one thing; he had something planned for you.

His mouth never left your pussy but you felt his arms get a firmer grip around you as he hoisted you into the air. You let out a scream once you felt your back leave the hard surface, your hands frantically trying to find something to hold onto which just so happened to be his hair. With one arm wrapped around you and the other supporting your back, you felt him suck harder on your clit, making you double over.

“I don’t know what you think your doing, Natsuo, but don’t you dare fucking stop!” You could feel him hum around you in understanding. Turning around Natsuo walked over to the nearby wall, slamming you against it. You arched your back once it came in contact with the cold surface. You felt Natsuo’s tongue stiffen as it dived into you.

“Holy fuck, baby, I’m so close please don’t stop.” With your hands in his hair you bucked your hips up into his mouth. Natsuo’s kept his tongue like that while you found your own rhythm, you were fucking his face and it felt so good. If you moved your hips at the right angle his nose would brush against your clit making your body shudder against him.

“Natsuo please I’m so close!” You moaned loudly only to feel him pull back from you. A whimper escaped your lips as you looked down. “Why did you stop?”

“Because,” he lifted you off his shoulders only to take your legs and wrap them around his waist, your back still pressed against the wall, his hands holding you up by your ass. “I wanna see what face you make as you cum, as you feel my cum spill into you.” You could feel his cock nestled in between your cheeks. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling your back from the wall.

“You said you wanted me to try my acrobatic moves on you, right?” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. “Put your hands on the wall next to me.” You watched as he did so, pushing yourself up you lifted your legs placing them one by one over his arms. With the support of one of your arms wrapped around his neck, you lowered your folded body down so the tip of his cock was right at your entrance. “Go slow, okay? It’s been a while.”“I promise I won’t hurt you.” You kept your eyes on his as you guided his cock to you with your free hand.

Natsuo slowly moved his hips, pushing himself inside of you. Once he was a little past the tip, you wrapped your other arm around his neck to steady you. He moved, inch by inch, letting your tight walls stretch themselves around him. Your breaths matched, they were shallow and deep. You took this moment to engrave his face into your memory. How his brows were furrowed in concentration, sweat building on his forehead and how his jaw was clenched trying to hold himself back from just diving all the way inside of you. The way his tongue licked his dry lips, everything, you wanted to remember everything.

In one swift movement, he sheathed his entire cock in you. Your breath stopped for a second when he did that. God, did he feel good. The way your walls constricted around him, he filled you up to the brim. He rested his forehead against your own, both damp from sweat.

“Natsuo.” You whispered his name, only to get a strangled hum in response. “Move. I wanna feel you, please.”

That was all he needed to hear. Natsuo pulled himself out only halfway, you whimpered at the loss of him filling you up. Only to let a moan rip from your throat as he slammed himself back into you.

“Oh shit, you’re so fucking tight, babe. I’m not going to be able to keep this up for a long time.” He continued to thrust himself into you, with each one you could feel he was holding back.

“I need you to fuck me, please, don’t hold back. Make me scream your name, fuck me until I can’t scream anymore.” Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving a trail of red claw marks on him. Natsuo growled while closing his eyes, his hips sped up, slamming into you fully.

“That’s it baby keep doing that.” You felt him hit that soft spot inside of you, forcing your eyes to roll in the back of your head.

Natsuo was just as vocal as he was when you were sucking his dick. He kept saying your name, moaning out profanities and talked about how tight your pussy felt. You could feel that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach, your release was close. “Baby, I’m so close. Please, I want you to come with me.”

You threw your head back against the wall, closing your eyes as he thrusted into you, making you bounce up and down on his dick. Your legs had gone numb a while ago but you didn’t care. You only cared about how good Natsuo was fucking you and how good his hard body felt against yours.

“Look at me, snowflake, remember I want to see your face as I make you cum.” Tilting your head down you opened your eyes. Both, you and Natsuo had your mouths open; fast, hot breaths coming out of you both.

“I can feel your walls clamping down on me, I can feel how close you are. Cum for me snowflake, cum all over my dick.” Between his words, his thrust and his eyes, it threw you over the edge. You cried out his name as that white hot flash washed over you, making your body convulse. He kept thrusting into you calling out to you, your name like a mantra he had to say over and over again.

“That’s it, Natsuo, you feel my juices dripping down your cock? That was all for you, you made me feel like that. Please, cum in me. I want to feel you inside of me.” You felt his hips stutter before you heard him moan like you had. You could feel his warm cum fill you up, just the feeling alone would have made you cum if you just hadn’t.

You both stayed like that for a few minutes trying to catch your breaths.

“Hey um I can’t feel my legs.” You chuckled when realization hit him. He had you folded up like a pretzel for almost 20 minutes now. He dropped his arms allowing you to wrap your legs around him as he held you close. You clung onto him while he put the sleeping bag you shared down on the table. He placed you down on it as he went and got his gun holster and the blanket, he always slept with his guns near him just in case. Climbing in the sleeping bag behind you, he wrapped his arms around you making him the big spoon. “You ripped my underwear, you scoundrel.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll get you more underwear tomorrow. I saw a sign for a mall that’s not too far from here. Who knows maybe we can get you some lingerie.”

“Shut up and go to bed.”

The next day you both ventured out to find the mall Natsuo had mentioned. And he was right, it wasn’t that far at all only about an hour walk and during these times that was super close. The mall was weirdly quiet, usually places like this were full of wandering aliens and such. Despite the broken glass everywhere and mannequin’s thrown around, it was in pretty good condition.

“Something is off, Natsuo.” You reached around your back to pull out your swords.

“Yeah, I felt it too.” Natsuo already had his guns drawn. “I think we better lay low for a while.” He motioned to hide behind an already flipped table that was close to a wall. Once behind the table, you both heard a door open.

“How many are we expecting this time?” Natsuo felt a cold chill run down his spine when the person spoke. It didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“We found a whole village of them hiding in the outskirts of the city. A lot of young men and women, it’ll be great for breeding purposes.” That was the voice of an alien, no doubt about that, they all had this distinctive accent when they spoke. “The truck should be here in about an hour unless that runt of yours fucked it up again.”

“He was young when that happened Ori, I promise nothing will go wrong this time.” You heard their retreating footsteps followed by the closing of another door.

You peaked over the table, making sure the coast was clear. When everything checked out you turned back to Natsuo. He was looking down at the ground, his hands gripping his weapons. “Natsuo?”

“That was him.” His voice, dripped with venom as he spoke. You’ve never heard him talk like this.

“Who, Natsuo?”

“My father, Enji.” You felt yourself go numb as that sentence rang through your head. His father was cooperating with the aliens? Does that mean his family was here too, was he talking about one of his brothers? So many questions ran through your head, it made you wonder how many questions were going through his.

“I have to get them out of there.” Your eyes widened at his statement. “Are you nuts?! This place is probably crawling with those fuckers. If we try to get your family out of here they could die, we could all die!” You wanted to save his family, you really did but you didn’t have enough intel on the area or the building.

“I’m not going to sit here and do nothing. They are right here with me. I can’t just leave them.” You knew arguing with him was a losing battle once he had his mind set on something. Sighing, you sat next to him, putting your hand over his, making him loosen his grip on the gun.

“No matter what, I’m in this with you. As crazy as it sounds, I’m with you always.” You watched as Natsuo smiled at you. Lifting his hand, he brought yours to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss.

“And I’m always with you.”

Once Natsuo explained his plan, it didn’t seem too far-fetched. You knew they had to be keeping all the people in the basement so no rogue aliens wandered in here could smell them. There was about another thirty minutes before the truck arrived, meaning you and Natsuo had to get to the basement, locate his family, get them up to the loading docks and hijack the truck all the while killing those horrible beings. Easy peasy. But something wasn’t settling in your stomach, what happens if this plan goes to shit?

“Are you ready, snowflake?” You looked to your lover, you could tell he was scared but so were you. But you knew you had to be here for him, this was his goal since he woke up, this had to work.

“Let’s do it.” You both kicked in the door that led to the basement of the mall. You were both covered in blood, red and yellow. You weren’t sure whose was whose was the red yours or was it Natsuo’s, it was hard to tell adrenaline was racing through both of your veins.

“Mom! Fuyumi! Touya! Shouto! Please, someone answer me!” Natsuo’s voice was full of panic as he searched each holding cell. You wanted to throw up at the sight. People were squeezed into these small spaces, there had to have been at least fifteen people per cell. These cages had to be only twenty to twenty-five square foot, people were just on top of each other. It smelled like human feces and rotting flesh. You always thought the outside was hell, when in reality, this was hell.

“Natsuo?” You could hear a weak voice of a woman ask from down the hall. Natsuo ran like a bat out of hell with you hot on his tail.

“Fuyumi, is that you?!” You and Natsuo stopped once you reached the last cell at the end of the hallway. He gripped his sister’s hands that were wrapped around the metal bars.

“Natsuo, you really are alive! We thought you were dead but not mom.” The young woman with white and red hair looked like she hadn’t seen the light of day in years, her body frail, if the wind was too strong, she would just blow away.

“I’m alive, sis! I’m here. Where is mom, Shouto and Touya?” He was looking around the cell frantically, you felt your stomach drop as you watched Fuyumi’s face.

You reached your hand out letting it land on his back. He looked back at you, those damn grey eyes. They were never able to hide his emotions, and right now you could see the desperation in them.

“Natsuo, mom she…she-“

“She’s gone, boy.” A chill ran down your spine as the deep voice rang throughout the makeshift dungeon. “If it isn’t my boy, Natsuo! Where have you been?! We’ve all been so worried!”Now that you got a good look at him, this man was beyond terrifying. He had to have been well over six foot, his body nothing but muscle and his face was void of any real emotions.

Natsuo didn’t even look in the direction of the older man as he pointed his gun at him and shot, barely missing his head. “Take one more step, fucker and I promise you, I won’t miss.”

“Looks like someone finally grew some balls. I guess we have to thank the bitch next to you for that.” He had stopped walking but turned his attention on to you.

“What’s your name slut? With the way you’re built it looks like you would be a great bitch to breed with, maybe I’ll take you as my personal slut. How does that sound?”

“I’d rather be eaten alive by the aliens than ever have you lay a disgusting finger on me, you piece of shit!” You spat at him. The stories Natsuo told you ran through your head, this man really was the epitome of evil.

“That can be arranged!” Enji whistled. You felt the room shake as the ceiling slid away and the dungeon started to move up as if it was an elevator. “Fuyumi what’s happening?!” Natsuo yelled out to his sister as he grasped your arm moving you behind him.

“He’s taking us to the food court. It’s where the aliens can come and choose who they want to eat. Everyone in the cells with the black bars can be chosen from while people with the green bars can’t be touched, we are meant to breed more humans. We’re like livestock to them, we have babies and once we reach our limit or the see no use for us we’re turned into meals for them.”

That’s when you noticed it, Fuyumi was pregnant, with the size of her stomach she had to have been at least six to seven months. “Natsuo, look at her belly.” Natsuo looked down, his eyes filling with tears.

“How many Yumi? How many have you had?” His eyes never left her stomach.

“This one would be six ,if it stays alive.” Her hand rubbed her stomach, tears falling on her beige dress.

“I’ve lost two, they were twins.”

Everything stopped shaking, you looked around and gasped. You really were in the food court of the mall. It was like some kind of sick joke.

“In about five minutes this place will be swarming with my alien buddies ready to take their pick.” Enji started to move closer to us. “ I usually tell them my family is off limits but I’ll make an exception for you boy. You always were a thorn in my side.”“Shut up.” Natsuo’s eyes were facing the ground.

“We both know you don’t have it in you to kill me. I can see the terror in your eyes, boy. Just like when you were a boy, as I hit your mother, you did nothing.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Natsuo’s whole body was shaking, it reminded you of when you first saw him as he tried to fight that alien.

You didn’t notice that Enji had crept closer until his hand was wrapped around your throat.

“Just like you won’t do anything while I kill your whore.”

You couldn’t reach around to grab your swords so you had to settle for something else.

“Say I’m a whore one more time, you dick!” With your right hand you grabbed the knife you had hidden in your thigh scabbard, you slit Enji’s hand. He recoiled his hand back, screaming as blood started to pour out of his wound. You fell to the floor, gasping for air, you were sure if he squeezed any harder he would have crushed your windpipe.

“You fucking whore!” He lunged at you only to stop mid lunge. You looked up to see your partner, your lover holding the gun to the side of his father’s head. His hair covering half his face only allowing you to see the sinister smile on his face.

“I told you not to move, motherfucker.” That was all he said as he pulled the trigger. You watched as the older males skull exploded, brain matter and blood spraying everywhere. The mall was quiet after that even the people in the cells were shocked. Their personal devil was dead, they were free. Crawling over to the dead man’s body you flipped him over searching through his pockets.

“Where are they?” You hissed you know he had to have the keys somewhere. Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, you felt them. A smile spread across your lips as you pulled them out. “Natsuo we only have two minutes before the truck gets here! Let’s get everyone we can out and run for it! Start with the pregnant women and children!”

He was still looking at his dead father. Getting up you made him look at you.

“Listen to me okay, what you did was necessary. He needed to die. Look at what he did to these people, to your sister and your mother! Snap out of it and help me!” You shook him as you spoke. It seemed to wake him up as he started to move. You handed him the black key while you held onto the green one.

You both moved as fast as you could the healthier people helping the sick and pregnant ones move towards the exit. Fuyumi told you that her older brother, Touya worked the docks while Shouto drove the trucks and no aliens were there since the rouse to get people in the truck is that they were going to a safe place for humans to live without the aliens funding them.

“Everyone move it, they will be here any minute!” You screamed, trying to get the hoard of people to safety. “Hey, Enji, where are you?” Everyone froze as Ori’s voice boomed through the mall.

“Keep moving but keep quiet.” You whispered, still ushering everyone to the exit. You made your way through the crowd trying to get to Natsuo. Once you reached him you grabbed a hold of his hand, he was shaking.

“What’s wrong?” You stood in front of him now. “Talk to me, please.”

He looked down at you, eyes full of love. “That day you saved me was the greatest day of my life. In a year, you’ve managed to make me the man I’ve always strived to be. You’ve shown me how to fight, how to be confident in myself and you’ve taught me how to love.” He grabbed your hands bringing them up to his lips. “You’ve taught me so much that I could never repay you.”

“No. No, Natsuo. You being by my side is enough for me, that’s payment enough.” That feeling from earlier came back, your stomach sinking again.

Taking your face in his hands, Natsuo slowly leaned down. “I love you so much snowflake, as long as you don’t forget that I’ll never leave you.” He gently pressed his lips against yours. It was a soft kiss, a goodbye kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck clinging onto him. He slowly moved his lips over yours, massaging them with his own. You could taste salt on your tongue, were they your tears, or his?

He pushed you back gently by the shoulders.

“I’m going to hold them off as best I can. Don’t look back just keep running, keep my brothers and Fuyumi and the baby safe okay?”

“Don’t do this, I can stay and fight with you! We can do this together like always!” You could hear the thuds of the aliens as they got closer.

“No! I need you to live on. Tell my family, my nieces and nephews about my memories with you. The only happy memories I have are with you, my snowflake.” He kissed your forehead one last time.

“Now go, run! You two take her with you, carry her out if you need to!” Natsuo shoved you behind him where two young men grabbed you. He planned this. He fucking knew he was going to do this.

“NO! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!!” You screamed at the top of your lungs before you were swept up in the arms of the bigger guy. He held your head to his chest as he ran. You could hear Natsou screaming at the aliens as shots rang out through the building. You needed to be with him, you couldn’t live in a world without him. Fighting to get out of the man’s grasp, you bit down on his chest causing him to drop you.

Scrambling to your feet, you got ready to run back to him only to stop. You watched as who you assumed was Ori since this alien was the biggest out of the group, tear into Natsuo’s flesh as if it were nothing but a thin slice of bread, his blood flying through the air, spraying them as they laughed. You turned around and started to run with the other two men to the truck. Your stomach churned as that image replayed in your head.

Once you made it to the docks, you were ushered into the truck by a man with blue eyes and red hair. You took a seat next to Fuyumi who held you as you started to scream, tears flowing out of your eyes like rivers.

“So, that’s who I’m named after?” The boy on your lap asked as you finished telling the story of the great gunslinger, sparing a few details. “Yup! Your uncle was the best shooter out there.” You poked the boy’s nose.

“Wow, but where is he now?” Big brown eyes looked up at you. Smiling you took your hand placing it over his heart.

“Your uncle Natsuo will always be here, in your heart, as long as we keep his memory alive.” You looked down at the girl on your other leg. “Same goes for you too, Rei, Daddy will always be right here.” Your daughter looked at you, she had the same grey eyes as her father had.

“I know mommy and he’ll never leave us.” She smiled, a bright smile at you, you felt tears gather in your eyes.

“Never, Snowflake.”

[h3rmitsunited]

He Ruined My Life (But Todd, Did He? Did He Really?)

Read On Ao3

Todd smiled slightly at the middle finger his sister flashed at him before closing the door behind her. It was a very normal move for her, despite the shambles that their relationship was in, and the fact that she had even bothered to talk to him at all gave him hope that maybe there’s a way to fix things eventually. Todd let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, as he let Amanda's surprisingly wise words wash over him. Dirk's face flashed in his mind, the hurt and shock and pain distorting his expression when Todd had spoken to him cruelly ripped him apart hours earlier... or days ago...out at that pier. Todd rushed into the bathroom, fighting back a sick feeling in his stomach, huffing and gasping over the sink, and caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror. His own words echoed in his ears.

You're a monster. You ruined my life. You deserve to be alone.

It wasn’t Dirk that deserved those words. Todd glared into his own eyes in the mirror. Todd could feel his self-destructive tendencies blazing inside him, his mind swirling with self-hatred.

Asshole, you're such an asshole, you always do this, Dirk stayed after you told him what an asshole you were and you just drove him away, you treated him like crap, you deserve to be alone, he deserves so much better than you, God, you're such a piece of sh-

Todd squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands hard against his face, shaking his head. He remembered Amanda looking down at him yesterday morning right before she climbed into that van and left him behind.

You're exactly the piece of shit everyone thinks you are.

The feeling wasn’t unfamiliar to him, it had soaked into every part of his life, and he had been drowning in it for years. Even before Amanda’s first attack, he felt it, less then than he did after her attack, but he couldn’t deny that most of his sober moments were spent wallowing in shame and self-hatred and guilt, even if he did nothing to change that part of who he was. His selfishness had won out every single time until Amanda had become a part of it.

But the question was how does he move forward now? The glare of his eyes in the mirror had faded, replaced by a sad exhausted resignation that weighed his whole body down. Todd sighed, and turned, looking back out of the bathroom at the destroyed remains of his apartment, at the spot Amanda had been standing a few minutes earlier. She was right, of course, as always. He had always thought that she was way too smart, definitely much smarter than he’s ever been. He shook his head. She was right about Dirk. She was right and he screwed it all up. Dirk had come into his life for a reason. Dirk had made him better. Dirk hadn’t let him wallow in his self-deprecating crap, and in barely over a week, Dirk had completely changed his life. Most importantly, Dirk definitely didn't deserve any of the shit that Todd had said to him.

Todd’s stomach clenched as another nauseating wave of guilt crashed over him. He needed to fix things, to make things right with Dirk. Even if Dirk deserved a much better friend than Todd, he was all he had, for now...well and Farah, probably (Todd wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to talk to them about later...she may have decided that Dirk’s special brand of crazy bullshit was too...crazy for her). Todd felt an unfamiliar burst of certainty, a feeling he experienced more since meeting Dirk, and rushed to grab what he needed from his apartment before running out the door.

_____________

The weight of his backpack straps pressed into his shoulders and grounded the swirling angsty thoughts clouding Todd’s mind. Now walking up to the hospital entrance from the bus stop, he could only manage to focus on the ache in his body. Surprisingly, spending 8 days straight running, falling, jumping, digging, running more, getting hit, shot at, and electrocuted can make your muscles a little bit stiff, especially if you’ve spent the last... 10 years barely exercising more than going up and down the stairs to your apartment and running to the bus stop. If this is what every case with Dirk was like, Todd would get into shape very quickly... if Dirk even wants me around, his mind reminded him bitterly. He shook the thought away, glancing up as he passed by a serious looking man with a mustache who gave him a strange look and kept quickly walking away. Something in Todd’s chest tightened, though he wasn’t sure why, and he turned back and watched the man walk into the parking lot, back to a large black SUV illegally parked by the curb with government plates. Todd hoped that wasn’t anything to do with Dirk, but with everything that had happened to him the last few days, he knew better now than to ignore a coincidence. He turned back and rushed into the entrance.

His head swam as everything hit him at once. The nothing smell, the flurry of noises, coughs and cries from the people in the waiting room sitting with squirming children and talking in hushed and strained voices on their phones, the rush of the nurses behind the desk at the front, the overwhelming sense of tension, everything brought him back to the last time he was in a hospital, that first time Amanda had an attack seven years ago. The tightness in his chest squeezed even tighter. He could hear that frantic voicemail his mother had left as they rode in the ambulance to the hospital, Amanda’s terrified screams in the background, he still had it saved on his phone. He hadn't bothered to answer when they called. He remembered waking up and hearing it ring, looking at the phone screen blearily before turning over and falling back to sleep. He didn't check the voicemail until hours later, as well as dozens of frantic texts and multiple more missed calls, and when he heard what his mother was saying, he ran to the bathroom and vomited, telling himself it was because of his hangover and not the heavy pit that suddenly dropped into his stomach. The rush to get to the hospital was a blur. He remembered driving way too fast, and that was about it. When he finally arrive, his parents barely registered his haggard appearance, barely registered him at all, his mother just broke into rambling anxious explanations of what happened and what the doctor said and every test they were doing, and that Amanda was sedated because she wouldn’t stop screaming, wouldn’t stop clawing at her skin, her eyes terrified, shouting about the bugs crawling into her mouth, her eyes, her nose, under her skin. His mother cried. His father stood, eyes blank, glazed over, but his hands shaking. Todd barely registered anything after that. He stared silently at his sister, his baby sister, small and frail in the hospital bed, her arms strapped down, dark red scratches across her skin. His mind went blank, for what must have been hours, until the nurse came in and gently let them know they would need to leave for the night, and they would call if anything changed. He had gotten in his car and just screamed and sobbed and pounded his steering wheel.

Todd’s mind returned to the present, but he could still feel the ghost of the ache in his hands from that steering wheel. He forced his thoughts away, knowing that if he let himself, he would get lost in the memory. Things are different now. You're here for Dirk. You're here to make things right. He marched up to the front desk, waiting politely until one of the nurses glanced up and smiled, catching the exhausted look in his eyes. Todd noticed the ice cream cones on her pink scrub top and absently smiled, thinking of Dirk's ties. The nurse brushed a strand of hair that had come out of her ponytail out of her face and cleared her throat.

"How can I help you?" Todd took a moment to register what she said, he opened his mouth gaping at her for surely too long before he responded.

"Dirk-!" He blurted out when he remembered why he was there. He cleared his throat, embarrassed at his sudden outburst. The nurse watched him curiously, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Sorry... long night," he mumbled and coughed into his hand. "I’m.... uh...I'm here to see Dirk... Gently. Last name, Gently, First name, Dirk? He was brought in... last night...or...earlier today?” Spending half of the day yesterday traveled back to 8 days before made telling what time anything was slightly more complicated... It was at least dark when they got to the Spring Mansion though, so.... “Last night, I think...Detective Estevez brought him in, he had some arrows in his shoulder... lost some blood...a lot of blood." He shivered remembering the sight of Dirk's shirt under his blue jacket, just soaked in his blood. His face had been so pale. It was not pretty. Amanda’s words replayed in his head. He glanced back up at the nurse who was now typing into the computer, seemingly ignoring the rest of his rambling before she looked back up at him.

"Right, Dirk Gently. Are you family?" Todd stuttered.

“Uh... not really...” She narrowed her eyes again. “We’re...” He struggled to define what they were. Were they still friends? Assistant and his detective? He couldn’t very well tell her he was an assis-friend... “Partners.” Good enough, he supposed, and technically mostly true.

The nurse seemed to soften slightly, and Todd suddenly realized the alternate implication of what he said. He blushed but didn’t bother to correct the assumption.

“Name?”

"Todd. Todd Brotzman, spelled B-R-O-T-Z-M-A-N.” She started typing again. Todd pressed up against the edge of the desk, tapping his fingers anxiously. "Is he okay? I mean, he was in bad shape, really bad, and I'm just... worried, you know? He doesn't have anyone else."

Her eyes crinkled into a sympathetic look. He watched as her eyes turned back to the computer and scanned the screen. She nodded and smiled.

"He came out of surgery about an hour and half ago. He's resting in his room. Should wake up once the anesthesia wears off, but he's stable. He’ll be okay." She glanced back at the screen. "Room 315, you can take those elevators," she pointed to the hallway to the left, and Todd could see the silver doors of the elevators, "up to the third floor, and follow the signs. There's another desk up there if you get lost." Todd nodded appreciatively and started to walk away. "Oh, and you may have company, looks like his father came in to see him earlier, doesn’t look like we have a check out time for him yet." Todd felt the pit in his stomach return.

"What?"

"His father?" The nurse responded, she glanced back at the screen. "Scott? Had some military ID?" Todd tried to wipe the look of panic off his face and nodded again, more forcefully. The black SUV with the military plate, the man with the moustache, that involuntary clench in his chest. He knew it had meant something.

"Thank you for your help." He managed to bite out before walking quickly over to the elevators.

Blackwing. Dirk hadn’t told him much about the organization, but Todd knew enough to know that it was bad news if they were paying him a visit here. Todd remembered back to a few nights ago. Dirk had spent way too long just "getting his magic lightbulb from the car", and when Todd found him at his car, Dirk was completely out of sorts. Dirk had confessed Blackwing had come to bring him back in again, that they had held him captive as a child, had spent years studying him. Todd couldn't forget the haunted look in Dirk's eyes when he said that name, or the terrifying ease that he vanished the expression from his face when they walked back into Todd's apartment, only shooting Todd a warning glance that Todd understood to mean, 'keep that to yourself.' A couple days later, while they drove back from the nature preserve with Patrick Spring’s machine in the back of the jeep, Dirk had gone into more excruciating detail as to the extent of what “studying him” meant in Blackwing terms. Todd had been grateful then that he was driving, his hands gripped painfully tight on the steering wheel, allowing him to keep his eyes trained on the winding roads, while Dirk bared his painful past to him. The fear in Dirk’s voice had sent a chill up Todd’s spine, and he burned with anger about what Dirk, and all those children had gone through because of what Blackwing thought they could be molded into.

The elevator doors dinged, and Todd waited as an orderly pushed an empty wheelchair out into the hallway. He could almost have laughed as he pressed the floor number, recalling his strange elevator experience several days ago that started all of this... strangeness. Todd’s panic escalated as the painfully slow elevator moved up the floors. What if Blackwing was here to take Dirk? What if he was already gone? What if they grabbed him after his surgery? He’s all alone. He thinks I hate him. The elevator let out another tinny ding and the doors scraped open. Todd followed the signs down the hall towards Dirk's room. The hospital noises closed in around him, the soft beeping, mechanical hums, and quiet television sounds pressing in, sending a chill across his skin. He rubbed his hand over his sleeve, willing the goosebumps away. He could see the number on the wall at the end of the hall. 315. The door was closed. He wondered what he would find behind it. If Dirk would be surrounded by strange men, clad in black, toting guns, pulling him away... it was ridiculous to think, but they had traveled in time yesterday, and switched a dog and a girl’s soul, so it was less ridiculous than some things... Todd took a breath and paused for just a moment before he pushed open the door. The breath choked him in his throat.

The bed was empty. It was empty.

He was too late.

They took him. That man in the parking lot. Todd felt his anger sparking up inside, but it was drowned out by an overwhelming feeling of guilt and sorrow.

They took Dirk, and he would never know how sorry he was for what he said. That he didn't think he was a monster, that he didn't deserve to be alone, he deserved friends and people that cared about him. Todd struggled to catch his breath. He needed to go, needed to try to find that man, to find Dirk. Todd felt his eyes start to prickle again when someone placed a hand on his shoulder. Todd flipped around quickly, half expecting Dirk to be standing there grinning at him. He came face to face with a nurse, one hand holding a purple clipboard. She looked at him confused.

"Sir?" Todd pulled back, glancing around at the empty room.

"Sorry. I thought-" His voice crackled with emotion. "My friend-" Todd looked around the empty room, his expression lost. The nurse looked back at him carefully.

"Why don't we make sure you're in the right room, before assuming the worst, dear." She guided him out of the empty room, down the hallway, to the nurse’s station. "What's the name?"

"Todd-" He replied absently before realizing what she meant. "Sorry, Dirk. Dirk Gently. He had... arrows...blood." Todd turned back again to the door to the empty room. The numbers mocked him from the wall. "Downstairs, she said 315." He heard the nurse let out an exasperated sigh, and he turned quickly back to her.

"Sorry, hun." Todd braced himself, expecting the worst. She continued talking. "Someone typed the room number wrong.” She rolled her eyes. “He's in 310."

"Really?" Todd asked incredulously, overwhelming relief filling his body. The nurse clacked away at the keyboard, presumably fixing the error in the system, and then looked back at Todd.

"Yeah, typos happen. He's okay though. By himself again, his other visitor left not too long ago."

"He's still in there?" Todd asked, gazing blankly down the hall, only half paying attention.

"No, he left..." The nurse responded impatiently. Todd looked back at her confused. "His visitor left," she said more firmly.

"No, uh, sorry, Dirk? Dirk's still in there? He didn't leave with...anyone?" The nurse rolled her eyes, shook her head.

“No. He’s just barely out of surgery. He can’t go anywhere until the doctor clears him to leave. You’re Todd Brotzman, right?” She asked, her fingers clicking over the keyboard. “His…partner?” Todd’s heart stuttered, but he nodded.

“Yes. I’m his…partner. Todd.” She smiled and typed something else into the computer.

“Great, well, he’s very lucky to have you. I’m sure he will be happy to see you when he wakes up.” She said with a wave down the hall to Dirk's room. She walked back around the desk and started pulling files from the shelves. Todd watched her for a moment and realized that he had been dismissed. He could feel the panic rising again, the sound and the smell and the sight of the hospital was bringing back that heavy guilty weight in his body. The sound of his mother's high-pitched frantic voice when she saw Todd walking into the hospital. How she had looked at him like she had failed, that she had condemned both of her children to have to (as far as she knew) suffer with this horrible disease. Todd blinked the memory away, staring back down at the empty hallway.

He walked quickly towards Dirk’s room, expecting to have the same hesitating moment before pushing open the door, but it was already open, and just as the nurse said, somewhat anticlimactically, there he was. Alone. No obvious Blackwing threatening him. No serious moustache man looming in the corner. Just Dirk.

Todd let out a heavy breath, and felt his muscles relax slightly. He stepped quietly into the dimly lit room, and pulled the door shut behind him, blocking out the triggering sights and sounds and smells outside, and allowing himself the small reprieve and comfort of closing him and Dirk away from the rest of the world, for just a moment. Todd's ears rang in the stark quiet of the room. The only sound was the steady beeps of the machine hooked up to Dirk, and the soft puff of his breath. It startled Todd to realize how relieved he felt to hear Dirk breathing. Todd stepped further into the room. He felt nervous. Why did he feel so nervous? Looking over at the heart monitor, he was suddenly very glad that he wasn't the one hooked up to that thing. Given the pounding in his chest, he was sure it would be beeping like crazy. He stopped at the end of Dirk's bed, picking at his fingers.

Dirk was so still, and quiet. Sleeping calming, his expression was smooth, the blood and grime now carefully cleaned from his skin. Todd could see the white of a bandage sticking out from the collar of the pale blue hospital gown. He stepped closer, reaching out to smooth the hair sticking up at the edge of Dirk’s forehead, but he stopped, and pulled his hand away before he could brush over the auburn hair. His mind recalled his harsh words, and his guilty pit pressed down in his gut. Todd stepped away, back to the end of the bed, his nerves sparking with nervous energy. Desperate for a distraction, he quietly picked up the chart hanging on the end of Dirk’s bed, his eyes scanning over the name at the top. Gently, Dirk. For some reason, he felt calmer, just knowing it was actually Dirk, given that this quiet man in the hospital bed was drastically different the Dirk that Todd had come to know. He scanned quickly through the notes in the chart, catching some familiar words, but most of it was just gibberish to his medically incompetent and extremely distracted brain. He relaxed reading a line at the bottom stating that Dirk was stable and could be discharged later today once cleared by the doctor. Todd carefully placed the chart back on the end of the bed and looked back up at Dirk.

Something about being in a hospital bed makes everyone seem so fragile. He remembered how Amanda looked, all the tubes and monitors and cords, the straps around her arms. Dirk was fortunately lucky enough that he wasn’t dealing with pararibulitis, and his injury didn’t require him to be restrained in order to keep him from hurting himself while he recovered, but Todd still felt the same sick weight in his gut looking down at him in the bed. He just looked wrong. Dirk was supposed to be bright and alive and speaking ten million words a minute jumping from idea to idea. This man was too quiet, too gray. He looked ten years younger, and ten years older at the same time. In the dim light of the window, Todd could make out the dark shadows lining his eyes, and red of the healing burns on his face that Todd fondly recalled gently covering with those stupid pink bandages. Todd shifted on his feet and the weight of his backpack reminded him of the precious items he had brought, a peace offering. He hoped that the familiar color would bring the vibrancy back to his friend. Dirk didn’t look right without it, and the pale, ‘almost died several hours ago from blood loss’ look of his skin made Todd feel nauseous.

He noticed a chair resting at the edge of the wall and pulled it forward, slightly closer to the bed, but not too close. Todd's stupid, angry, ‘projecting his own shit on other people’ brain sort of messed things up, and he wasn't sure if Dirk waking up to Todd much closer than he was would be a comfort... or an unwelcome surprise. Given everything Dirk had said and done since Todd met him nine days ago, Todd definitely should have known the answer to that question, but he was never the most emotionally competent person, and he preferred to blatantly ignore the idea that someone might actually like being around him in favor of self-flagellating from across the room.

His body still buzzed with anxious energy as he sat down, but he could feel the creep of exhaustion pulling at the edges of his consciousness. He shook his head, trying to force himself to stay awake, and shifted to pull his backpack off. He pulled out his phone and texted Farah a quick update on Dirk and the possible Blackwing visitor earlier. A moment later, he could see she started typing, and waited until her response popped up. She texted, 'ok we'll talk about it at the diner later. lots to discuss.' Todd responded with a quick 'sounds good. will let you know if anything changes.' Send. A thumbs up from Farah. Todd stuffed the phone into his pocket and dropped the backpack on the floor. He leaned back in the chair and sighed, glancing out of the window through the thin gaps in the window shade. His heartbeat and breaths slowly synced up with the beeps of Dirk’s heart monitor and Todd barely noticed as the edges of his vision darkened and he faded into sleep.

Dirk shifted in his sleep, shifting his wounded shoulder, sending a burst of pain into his nerves, and he woke up with a soft gasp. He could hear the beeping of the heart monitor slow down as the pain receded into a dull ache and he took in his surroundings. He barely remembered the detective man dragging him into the hospital...whenever that had been, hours or days ago, he remembered a lot of blood, and being very tired and then he was here. It was rare for him to be somewhere so quiet, the dim lights and the sterile room, the almost oppressive silence, and the aching feeling in his body reminded him uncomfortably of his time at Blackwing. But this is the hospital. He’s not at Blackwing. He’s in the hospital. Even if Colonel Riggins… His heart started to race, mind spiraling into paranoid thoughts, and he felt his breath catch in his lungs, until his eyes landed on the chair across the room, slightly hidden in the shadows, holding his lightly snoring... friend? Ex-friend? Assis-friend? Todd. He felt a wave of relief. Todd wouldn’t be in Blackwing. His panic faded from his vision, and he heard the heart monitor’s frantic beeping slow. Dirk stared at Todd, he knew Todd would have felt uncomfortable by it if he were awake, but he’s not awake, so… he stared. He’s quite surprising, not at all what he expected when he first saw Todd at the Perriman Grand as he ran up to the penthouse, though in his life, he should be used to not having any sort of expectations for anything, since they mostly always end up completely wrong in very strange and unexpected ways, so… Dirk fought to quell the fluttering of hope threatening to overtake his mind, the hope that Todd brought by sitting there across the room. He reminded himself of Todd’s words. How angry he had been. That he never wanted to see Dirk again… It’s not like it should be surprising. Dirk had learned a long time ago that people didn’t stick around him, they got tired of him and his weird behavior, his chaotic life, even if they acted like they liked it…or liked him. They always left. And he would be alone. Just like he always was.

Dirk frowned and looked back at Todd. But maybe… he didn’t have to be alone? Todd let out another soft snore and shifted in the chair. Dirk wondered what could have made Todd return. They had solved the Spring case. Sent the machine back. Presumably, Farah took Lydia somewhere, maybe the detective man was helping her… but Todd, here was Todd, sleeping in his hospital room, waiting for… something. For what? Another case, always another case to solve. The Todd case, a particularly difficult one. Dirk thought through the facts. What he knew about Todd. He was unemployed, and his apartment was practically unlivable, perhaps he wanted to stay in Dirk’s new apartment until he could figure out what to do next? No, that would require spending time around Dirk, and he had said he never wanted to see him again. Maybe, something with Amanda? Perhaps he still hoped Dirk could fix things for him, could help with Amanda… somehow? The time-travel bit didn’t work, but maybe Todd thought something holistic might help? That could be it, right? Dirk watched Todd’s eyes twitch in his sleep. Dirk frowned and shook his head slightly. No, but Todd knew, he saw how Dirk’s… ‘thing’ worked. He knew that it didn’t work like that. Dirk sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. His heart sank. Maybe Todd was still mad at him. Maybe he just came here to make sure Dirk knew he was serious about what he said. To say good-bye. Dirk pressed his head back into the pillows. He was exhausted. His shoulder throbbed with a dull and slowly sharpening ache. His head swam with the remnants of whatever anesthesia and medications they had given him. He just didn’t have anything else to give, and he certainly wasn’t looking forward to being shouted at again, or called a monster, or blamed for all the extraneous side effects of the case, things that he had no control over… He took a breath, letting the familiar tingling waves of the universe come to life in his nerves. The ever-present push that guided him where he needed to go, that told him where he was supposed to be was quiet, resting…satisfied. This was where Dirk was supposed to be. He sighed, resigned to whatever fate would bring him next. He’d never had control over his life before, so no use trying to force it now.

He swallowed thickly, his dry throat immediately protesting, and he coughed. He flicked his eyes to Todd, hoping the noise didn’t wake him, and gratefully, it didn’t, delaying their inevitable conversation when he finally did wake up. Dirk glanced around the bed for some sort of call button, smiling triumphantly finding it on the table beside him, (and wisely placed on his uninjured side) the button glowing softly. It was barely two minutes after pressing the button when the door swung open, bumping the wall with a soft thud, and a nurse with a kind face strode in, clutching a purple clipboard in her hand.

“Mr. Gently. Awake at last, I see.” She said, her voice a normal volume, but in the quiet of the room, sounding extremely loud. Dirk flinched and glanced over at Todd, who shifted slightly in his sleep, but didn’t wake. The nurse looked over at Todd, a look of recognition passing over her face, then smiled apologetically back at Dirk. “How are you feeling?” She asked more softly, walking closer to the bed.

“Much better, actually. Thank you. The blood’s staying inside my body now, so practically back to normal, I’d say.” His voice crackled limply out of his dry throat, despite his fruitless attempts to return to his typical levels of manic speech. He cleared his throat. “I’m pretty thirsty though. Water’s fine, but could I perhaps bother you for a cup of tea?” She smiled, putting up one finger, asking him to wait, and reached out to the collar of his gown, pausing a moment until Dirk nodded, somewhat unsure of what she was doing when he only asked her for a cup of tea. He was fairly certain a cup of tea wasn’t some American slang for ‘please take my clothes off’, but he’d never been to Seattle before, and he wasn’t going to be rude to someone that is helping keep him alive…so... She pulled the loose collar away from his shoulder, and carefully checked the bandages, brushing gently over the gauze. Of course, she was checking the bandages. Stupid Dirk. He rolled his eyes at himself.

“Doesn’t look like it’s bleeding too much.” She glanced at a small patch of red soaking through the bandages. “We’ll get this changed again before you go, and make sure you, or your partner,” she motioned to Todd still sleeping. Was that a blush creeping up on his face? Dirk watched for any signs that he was actually awake, and the nurse kept talking. “know how to change it. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. She should come in soon to check on you, and if everything looks good, you should be able to go home today.” Home. That stupid word always squeezed painfully at his heart. He shook the feeling away, like he always does and nodded. The nurse smiled at him. “And I’ll see about that cup of tea.” Dirk grinned back.

“Oh, thank you. You have no idea how much I need one. As you can probably tell, I’m from England, it’s practically essential for me to live.” The nurse gave him an amused look, glanced over at Todd again, and left, shutting the door quietly behind her. Dirk sighed and leaned back in the bed, keeping one eye on Todd who shifted again in his chair.

“I know you’re awake.” Todd smiled, his eyes still closed for a moment before he cracked them open. He sighed and stretched his arms out above him and arched his back, groaning.

“How are you feeling?” Todd said, looking pointedly at his injured shoulder. He hadn’t pulled the hospital gown back up over his chest after the nurse checked his bandage. “Is it still bleeding?” Dirk looked down as he reached up and touched at the red spot of dried blood that had seeped through.

“The nurse said that it looked okay, didn’t look like it was actively bleeding anymore. They’re supposed to come check it and change the bandages in a bit.” Todd hummed, apparently satisfied with the answer. Dirk remembered what the nurse had said about Todd and blushed. Partner. “How long were you awake?” He wondered if she just assumed their relationship about them, or, maybe, Todd had said something... If he was blushing because he did hear and he did say something… He wasn’t about to ask him directly though. Not right now.

“Not that long… Just at the end there. Your tea excitement woke me up.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“What about you? How are you feeling?” Dirk asked, studying the dark rings under Todd’s eyes, the heavy slump of his shoulder. Todd’s forehead wrinkled.

“Me?” He shook off Dirk’s concern, forcing himself to sit up. “Fine. I’m good. I’m not the one that had two arrows in his body and lost all his blood.” Todd smirked, fighting to be as casual as possible, despite his conflicted emotions bubbling just under the surface.

“Sure, but you also did have an alarming amount of electricity go through your body… and I’m pretty sure one of those machine guys tried to strangle you at one point? You were in just about as bad shape as I was last night… plus you don’t have the benefit of all the free pain medication.” Dirk said smiling, trying to keep his voice light. Todd frowned.

“Free? You do realize you’re in America now right? They don’t just hand that stuff out. Sure hope the universe has good health insurance.” Todd said, laughing under his breath. Dirk blanched.

“Right…” Dirk blinked and then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t think that will be a problem.” Todd shrugged and rolled his eyes. He wasn’t about to argue with that, Dirk had obviously figured out something that worked for him…sort of… who’s he to tell him different. Todd rubbed a hand over his arm. Dirk frowned. “You sure you’re alright, Todd?” Todd looked up at him, an unreadable expression on his face. He shook his head, looked down at his hands resting in his lap, and sighed. He made no move to respond, sitting quietly. Dirk leaned forward towards him “Todd?” Todd’s head rose up again, his eyes rimmed with red, and mouth tight. He shook his head, blinking away tears that started to fill his eyes.

“I’m not… I’m not really… good at this, Dirk. I haven’t…” He shook his head, letting his hands fall open in front of him. “I don’t know how to do this.” Dirk’s frown deepened. Distantly, he could hear the beeping of the heart monitor speed up again, but his focus was on Todd.

“Do what?” Todd shook his head and didn’t answer. What could Todd possibly be talking about? Dirk usually didn’t mind not having the answers, was pretty patient about waiting for the universe to just show him what he was supposed to know, but this was excrutiating. “Todd, come on. Do what?”

“Fix things?” He said with a shrug. Dirk cocked his head to the side. Todd let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know… To fix everything? Fix my life? I mean I screwed everything up with Amanda, she hates me, my job, my apartment, my life is destroyed, and,” he paused and looked up at Dirk, his eyes bright and glistening in the light coming through the window shade. “You… I-“ Todd choked on his words, staring at his hands and shaking his head. Dirk was...confused. They solved the case. Todd could move on. He didn’t have to deal with Dirk messing everything up again. Was he still angry with Dirk, that his ‘power’ isn’t enough to fix what he did to Todd’s life, that he lied to Todd?

“Todd...I... I don’t understand? What I said… I’m sorry. I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore… but I can’t… help you…I don’t… I can’t fix things with Amanda… it’s not…how it-“ Dirk looked up from where he’d been staring at his lap. Todd had stood up, his face even more broken up that before, guilt deforming every feature of his expression. Dirk stopped in his rambling attempts to apologize, and Todd shook his head and walked to the side of Dirk’s bed.

“Dirk. No, I-” He groaned, frustrated at his inability to say what he means. His eyes met Dirk’s, and neither could look away. “I’m sorry. Dirk, I didn’t come here for you to fix my mistakes... and I never should have said any of what I did to you. I was angry at myself. I ruined my own life, and when I realized that there wouldn’t be an easy solution to fix it... you were just there, the perfect target for me to blame everything on. That wasn’t fair of me, and I’m sorry, Dirk.” Todd blinked back the shine that was filling his eyes and turned away. “I’m sorry that you ended up with an asshole for a friend, and I don’t know how to fix that, to fix what I’ve done.” Todd was close enough to the bed that Dirk was able to reach out and take Todd’s hand in his. Todd looked up, surprised, the sound of the beeping heart monitor in the background. Dirk didn’t say anything, but the unfiltered and sincere fondness and forgiveness in his expression was a clear enough answer that even Todd understood. “I really am sorry, Dirk. And I understand if you don’t want me around anymore.” Dirk smiled and rolled his eyes.

“You really don’t get it do you?” Dirk had a playful glint in his eyes. “We were meant to know each other, it’s destiny, the will of the universe, fate... or something.... I can feel it, so that means no arguing... and no more calling yourself an asshole. Because you’re not.” Todd opened his mouth to deny it, but Dirk lifted a finger to silence him. “Nuh-uh. You apologized, and that was quite a lovely apology, Todd. Now, you just have to be better. That’s how you fix it.” Todd frowned.

“What if I screw things up again?”

“Don’t worry, Todd.” Dirk grinned. “I know you will. But so will I. And so will everyone. It’s an annoyingly beautiful part of being a real human person. Look, I know you have a good heart, and I know you aren’t perfect,” he turned his head away. “To be perfectly honest, you’d be pretty boring if you were.” He added with a playful glint in his eyes, before he let out a heavy breath, and his expression fell. “I won’t lie to you and say that what you said to me didn’t hurt me. It did. I thought… you know that I’ve never… had anyone…” he flicked his eyes to Todd. “Stay. You saying what you did… It’s everything I say to myself. Everything Blackwing raised me to believe about myself. Hearing that from you…” He shook his head, blinking away tears, unable to continue. Todd quickly dragged his chair beside the bed, sitting and pulling Dirk’s hand into his. He shook his head emphatically, expression intense.

“You’re not-”

“I know.” Dirk stopped him, firmly. He pulled his hands out of Todd’s leaving a cold chill in the empty place that remained. “I know.” He sighed. “I don’t… I don’t expect you to fix that. My childhood…traumas. I just… I need you to understand that you hurt me. That what you said hurt.” Dirk’s tear-filled eyes flicked up to Todd’s, piercing with their intensity. Todd nodded quickly. He took a deep breath, and nodded again more firmly.

“I do. I understand I hurt you, and I am sorry, Dirk.” Dirk reached back for Todd’s hand still stretched towards him on the bed, and patted it once.

“Good.” He nodded with a satisfied smile. Todd realized he’d been forgiven. He felt the heavy weight on his body lighten, just slightly.

“Thank you, Dirk.” Todd awkwardly lifted his hand for a handshake. “Friends, then?” Dirk smirked and cocked his head. Were they handshake friends? Was that something they did? He didn’t think they were handshake friends…

“No,” Dirk responded and Todd frowned, suddenly unsure if he misread everything that Dirk had said. “Partners.” Dirk grinned at Todd’s confused face before it flashed into embarrassed realization that Dirk knew what he had told the nurse earlier. He cleared his throat.

“Look, technically, sort of, we are partners, Dirk, like detective partners or something, and I wasn’t sure if they would let me see you if I wasn’t some sort of family-ish person…“ Dirk basked in Todd’s rambling smugly and Todd closed his mouth with a glare. “You know, maybe I liked you better when you were unconscious…” Dirk laughed and Todd gave him an annoyed-ly fond frown. He shifted his foot, bumping against his backpack on the floor, his eyes widening in realization. “Oh, hang on, I brought you something.” Dirk cocked his head in interest as Todd picked the backpack up off the floor.

“What? Really?” Dirk watched as a familiar yellow came into view as Todd unzipped the backpack. He felt his heart flip, and he gasped as Todd laid his leather jacket onto his lap. Dirk ran his fingers over the silver zipper, and turned to Todd, ready to thank him when Todd shoved another handful of cloth into his hand. “Oh, uh…”

“It’s just… uh… one of my band T-shirts… figured you might want something comfortable to wear out of the hospital… and you know, your jacket, of course.” Dirk was, for once, speechless. He opened his mouth, trying to find the words, blinking away tears, and just settled for smiling and nodding as he ran his fingers on the soft gray material of the shirt. Todd picked at the edge of the shirt still hanging off the edge of the bed. “And I don’t have many of these left, so… try not to bleed all over this one, okay?” Dirk smiled, and looked back up at Todd.

“Thank you. This is…” He sucked in a breath, shaking his head again. “Thank you.” He nodded. There was something in Todd’s eyes when he looked back at Dirk, something that Dirk hadn’t noticed before, that he wanted to figure out, but the door was suddenly shoved open, Dirk’s nurse holding a steaming cup in her hand, and when they turned back to each other, the moment was gone.

“Got your tea, dear.” She noticed Todd sitting beside the bed. “Oh good, your partner’s awake. Another nurse is headed by to change your bandages.” Todd blushed, looking anywhere but at Dirk who was wearing a similar expression. Dirk took the offered cup from the nurse gratefully, and carefully blew over it as she pulled his tray table over the bed for him. Todd moved the jacket and shirt to the end of the bed, out of the potential spill zone.

“Thank you.” Dirk said, mostly to the nurse, but also to Todd. The nurse nodded, looking between both of them with a smile, and then walked back out of the room. Dirk sniffed hesitantly at the steam wafting from the cup and narrowed his eyes. He sniffed again more forcefully, like he was trying to decide if what was entering his nose was going to kill him or not. Todd watched him smiling fondly. Dirk glanced over, raising his eyebrows at Todd from behind the cup. “What?”

“Nothing.” Todd shook his head, still smiling, and leaned back in his chair.

“Right...” Dirk blew one more time on the warm liquid and carefully took a sip before he unceremoniously spat it back into the cup and shoved it onto the table, with a betrayed look on his face. Todd laughed, and Dirk turned to him with a glare. “That is the worst cup of tea I have ever tasted in my life. I’m not even exaggerating! I swear, you Americans and your so-called tea. She probably made this in a microwave… or with like a dirty puddle of water she found on the pavement.” He shivered in disgust, eyeing the cup like it might suddenly burst out of the cup and force it’s way back into his mouth.

“What? You really expected gourmet tea from a hospital?” Todd rolled his eyes. Dirk glared while trying to get the taste off his tongue.

“Ugh. I think they actually had better tea when I was in Blackwing. And that place was the worst.” Todd’s eyes widened at Dirk’s mention of Blackwing. He wasn’s sure how to respond to that…especially considering Dirk’s visitor from earlier… Dirk seemed to notice his discomfort. “Sorry.” Todd shook his head, swallowing thickly.

“Dirk-”

“Not really something I want to talk about right now… I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” Dirk fiddled with the edge of the cup of tea. Todd looked at him carefully. He had to tell him. They were being honest with each other. Dirk needed to know.

“I know… it’s a touchy subject… but Dirk, I need to tell you something. Earlier, when I came in-” Dirk grabbed Todd’s hand.

“I know they’re still coming for me, Todd. You don’t have to…” He sighed and glanced at the door. “Are they here? Are they waiting for me?” Todd frowned and shrugged.

“I…I don’t know. When I came in, they said some man with a moustache and military ID visited you, saying he was your father. I think I saw him leaving when I was walking in. I don’t know if there’s anymore.” Dirk seemed to process what Todd said, and nodded, surprisingly calm.

“Colonel Riggins. The man that approached me the other night at your apartment building I told you about.” He sighed. “Not really much I can do about it though. If they really want me, if that where I’m supposed to be-” His hand squeezed Todd’s. The heart monitor beeped faster, suddenly aggressively loud in the quiet room.

“Dirk?” Todd stroked Dirk’s hand. Dirk shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed.

“I really don’t want to go back there.” His voice was suddenly very small. Todd stood up from his chair and pulled Dirk into his arms, being careful around his injured shoulder. Dirk sunk into the embrace, gratefully, breathing heavily. Todd could feel his body shaking slightly.

“You won’t. Dirk, okay? You won’t. Farah and I, we’ll keep you safe. And even if they do find you, we’ll track you down, and bust in, guns blazing, and get you out of there. You’re not alone anymore, okay?” He felt Dirk nodding in his arms, a wet warmth soaking into his shirt where Dirk had pressed his face. Todd brought a hand up to stroke the back of Dirk’s head gently. “Look, Farah wanted to meet up a little later today, once you’re out of here, and we can talk to her then. She’ll know what to do. We’ll make a plan, and figure something out.” Dirk sniffled and pulled away, looking up at Todd with red-rimmed eyes. He nodded. “Okay?”

“Okay… I mean I highly doubt that you, or Farah, even with her impressive number of guns and ninja-like fighting skills, will be able to take on a secret military organization, but it’s a nice sentiment, Todd. Thank you.” Todd frowned. Dirk raised his eyebrows. “I’m not trying to be sarcastic right now. It really does make me feel better, Todd. I never had anyone before that even wanted to try to be there for me, so I really do appreciate it.” Todd nodded before he sat back down in his chair, returning his hand to rest on Dirk’s. Dirk smiled softly. The heart monitor was back to being a steady background noise. Todd’s eyes fell on Dirk’s abandoned disgusting tea.

“You want me to go down and see if I can find you some better tea?” Dirk’s eyes crinkled into a smile, and he shook his head.

“Don’t want you to go anywhere,” he said pulling Todd’s hand to his chest. Todd felt his heart twist. “Besides, I don’t have any faith that you would be able to tell the difference between actual tea and this cup of sewage either.” Todd let his mouth fall open.

“Wow. That seems very rude.” Dirk shrugged with one shoulder.

“Maybe that’s me now. Maybe I’m just a rude detective man.” Todd responded with a disgustingly fond look and shook his head. Dirk blushed.

They heard the door push open again, and didn’t pull apart until the new nurse came over to the bed to change Dirk’s bandages, giving them both step by step instructions on how to do it, that neither of them will probably remember later, and will have to try and get Farah’s help with figuring it out. Todd grimaced at the sight of the arrow wound on the front of Dirk’s shoulder, angry stitches pulling his skin into place again. Dirk’s lips pressed tightly together as the nurse gently placed the fresh gauze over the wound and wrapped the clean bandage around his shoulder. A woman walked through the door as the nurse finished with the bandage, her hair neatly tucked into a bun behind her head, and smiled at Dirk, as she picked up the chart from the end of the bed.

“Mr. Gently?” Dirk nodded. “I’m Dr. Peyton. You’re looking much better than when you came in last night. How are you feeling?” Dirk nodded, shifting his shoulder slightly to adjust with the tightness of the fresh bandages.

“Good. Fine. A bit sore, I think whatever you people gave me is wearing off.” Dr. Peyton nodded, and pulled an orange bottle from the pocket of her white coat.

“That’s normal. You’re going to be sore for a while. Fortunately, the arrows missed some important muscles and tendons, so you should be able to make a full recovery as long as you complete your physical therapy sessions. You’re very lucky. Most shoulder injuries can lead to extremely limited range of motion, if those arrows had hit you anywhere else or any deeper, you may have had a much more difficult recovery.” Dirk nodded, trying to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Stupid universe and it’s stupid precisely hitting arrows…just enough to not kill him or seriously injure him, just enough to remind him who’s in charge…again. Dr. Peyton held up the pill bottle and gave a quick explanation of how much Dirk needed to take and when. Dirk stared up at her, his eyes glazing over, too much words for having just barely woken up from a night of almost dying. Todd was fighting to listen closely to her instructions. The doctor finished talking and held the pill bottle out to Dirk, who took them slowly. Dr. Peyton said something else Dirk didn’t quite hear. He saw her mouth moving, but the words blurred into the soft hum of the room, the only sound he could make out, the steady beep of the machine next to his bed. Dr. Peyton pursed her lip and looked at Todd pointedly, raising her eyebrows.

“I’ll make sure he takes them at the right times. Got it all here.” He said tapping his head. Dr. Peyton didn’t respond, and then nodded at them both.

“Alright, well, you’re all set then. Your nurse will be back in a few minutes to help get you all sorted, and then you’re free to go.”

Dirk nodded. His head felt fuzzy and the pain in his shoulder had started to burn and itch under the bandages.

“Thank you, doctor.” Todd said. The doctor left, swinging the door shut behind her, and leaving them once again shut away in the sterile silence of the room. Todd absently rubbed his neck. His brief nap in the hospital chair had left his muscles feeling more sore than they had when he arrived earlier and now that his brain wasn’t distracted by his Dirk guilt, his body decided to remind him of all the pain he was in.

Dirk picked at the lid of the pill bottle, fighting to steady his breath, and breathe through the steadily increasing pain. The fact that he was holding a bottle filled with pain medication that could help treat the pain was out of his capability to understand in the current state of his mind. He leaned forward, bringing his knees up towards his chest, and rested his head down on his uninjured arm, trying to hide the groan that escaped his throat.

“Dirk?” Todd leaned over to try to get a closer look at Dirk’s now hidden face, and laid his hand on his back, gently stroking it up to his neck, and resting at the edge of Dirk’s hair. He felt Dirk relax into his touch, and sigh softly. Todd’s fingers combed up the back of Dirk’s scalp, through the fine auburn strands, just as soft as Todd would have imagined them to be. He tried to ignore the warm feeling filling up his chest, panicking at feeling something that he hadn’t let himself feel, he hadn’t deserved to feel... or thought he was capable of feeling. Dirk groaned again, louder, obviously in pain. Todd noticed the pill bottle wrapped in his hand. He reached out with his other hand, pausing before he grabbed it.

“Dirk, can I-?“ Dirk nodded into his arm and loosened his grip without looking up, and Todd took the bottle from him. He reluctantly removed his other hand from Dirk’s head, and opened the bottle, carefully shaking two pills into his hand, pouring a cup of water from a pitcher on the tray table next to him, and holding them out to Dirk. “Here, take these.”

Dirk turned his head, so he could look at Todd, still leaned against his knees. His eyes were heavy. His lips turned up slightly and he nodded in appreciation before sitting up with a groan. He swallowed the pills with an audible gulp and quick swallow of water and sighed falling back into his pillow. His legs slipped back down flat on the bed. Dirk breathed stiffly, shutting his eyes, but he dropped his hand back down on the bed near Todd, letting it hang open, invitingly. Todd paused, unsure for a moment before Dirk twitched his fingers, and raised his eyebrows, his eyes still closed. Todd smiled and laid his hand on top of Dirk’s, letting their fingers interlock. Dirk sighed.

They sat quietly. Dirk breathed steady and deliberate breaths as he waited for the medication to calm the burning edges of the pain in his shoulder. Todd watched him, studying the way the dim light from the window cast pale shadows across his face, the way the front of his hair was stuck straight out from his forehead in an endearingly chaotic way, the way his muscles tensed and relaxed under the skin of his neck. He was calmed by the warmth of Dirk’s hand in his, the light flutter of his pulse. Todd let his mind drift away with the steady beeps, as they waited to leave, both ignoring for a moment the danger that inevitably would find them outside the door.

[sadoeuphemist]

This one is dedicated to all the Brits out there.

So, there’s a man crawling through the arctic.

He was on a trip around the world, had been, for years. In his jacket, coiled up next to his breast, was a rattlesnake named Sammy, and as one last favour to a friend he was showing Sammy all there was to see in the big wide world. They’d been to every country. Dived beneath the sea, spelunked deep beneath the earth. And now, they were touring through the arctic. They’d witnessed dazzling white glaciers against a sea that shone a sapphire blue, they’d stood beneath the dancing of the Northern Lights, they’d trekked across the endless plains of snow in what seemed an eternal sunset, the world frozen in all the facets of its beauty.

And now they were alone, and stranded, and it was very cold, and it seemed like they were both going to die.

They’d gone off the beaten path, rented a specialized 4x4 and stocked up on supplies and driven off into the tundra on their own. They’d been going fine. The man, Jack, was real careful at the wheel, having learned from hard experience. Then, clean out of nowhere, a storm had kicked up, howling and sleeting snow across the windshield. Jack had slowed to a near-crawl, squinting to try and see anything through that wall of white, and then something massive had ploughed into the side of the truck.

The 4x4 had been flung end over end, Jack and Sammy and all their supplies rattling around inside, and the thing outside was shrieking malevolently, its howls mixing with the wind, something rending at the metal. Jack had clutched Sammy to his chest, from his cramped position managed to kick open the door, and clambered out into the raging snow. He’d crawled, on hands and knees, stumbled, looked behind him, scooted backwards on his butt, almost frozen in horror.

The thing that had attacked them hadn’t come out of the storm. It was the storm. They could barely make out the outline of the thing, all ice and shards and howls and loathing, a miserable grey creature maybe eight feet tall and pummelling at the overturned truck with two massive lumpy arms. Clouds of smoke or steam were billowing from the truck’s hood, and Jack could see flickers of flame rising from the metal - the gas tank, or maybe the portable stove they had been carrying. The creature seemed to love the flame, curling itself around it possessively, and through the smoke and snow Jack could see that flickering orange glow that sent an odd surge of pity through him, that tiny spot of warmth and light gasping and dying out and struggling futilely to survive.

Sammy spoke up, shivering from inside the parka so that his rattles sounded. “I - I think we should get going while it’s distracted.” 

“R-right,” mumbled Jack, and stumbled to his feet and ran.

He ran like mad, feet flying over the permafrost, watching his breath fog up in front of his face in great clouds. When he finally stumbled, he looked behind him and the truck and the monster were nowhere to be seen. All around them stretched an undifferentiated expanse of white.

Jack felt his parka pockets. “Fuck. All the equipment - it’s back at the truck.” He looked up into the melancholy twilight and felt helpless laughter overtake him. It was all so familiar, this situation, except now he was even less equipped than before. “Shoulda seen it coming. Hahaha! Figures, right?”

“It’s not so bad,” Sammy said. “You still know the direction the truck’s in, right? All we need to do is -” Sammy shuddered in what seemed like a yawn. “Sorry. It’s just so cold out here. Hard to - hard to think ... “

“That’s right, you’re cold-blooded, aren’t you?” Jack tightened his arms over his parka, pressing Sammy closer to him. “It’ll be all right.” He took a breath, letting the hysteria ebb away. All they needed to do was circle back around, make sure that the whatever it was had left. They had a radio back at the truck, they could call for help, and...

He felt his blood run cold. There, on the horizon, he could see the first few flurries of snow drifting across an otherwise calm plain. In the perpetual dim twilight of the Arctic Circle he felt he could see it almost perfectly. It wasn’t a thing, so much as a silhouette, the shadow where a thing should have been. Eight feet of greyness, of misery, of numbing empty hopelessness that ate all warmth, all light. It shambled. It shrieked. And it was moving inerrantly towards them.

“Jack?” Sammy mumbled sleepily.

“We have to keep moving,” Jack said.

The thing hounded them, harried them across the snowy tundra. It was not fast, but it was implacable. Every time Jack tried to stop a moment to catch his breath, he would feel the tendrils of it nipping at the exposed flesh of his nose, trying to freeze the fluid in his eyes. And God, it was cold. He could feel the great clouds of his breath crystallizing on his eyelashes. His face was numb. His fingers. His toes. He felt like he was stumbling along on wooden feet. Inside his parka he was sweating, he felt like the inside of his coat was a sauna from his exertions, and then the sweat touched the cold air and froze, biting into him, until he might as well have been in an ice bath. With each step he watched, as if in slow motion, the fall of countless glittering shards of ice.

“I’m suh-s-s-sorry,” he gasped out, on his hands and knees now, all too aware of the coiled body next to his heart. His body had been altered, long ago, to be in perpetual perfect health, but even the perfect human form could not withstand the brutality of the elements, woefully underprepared, in a desperate chase for his life. He thought of the desert, of the old rattler who would never see their return, of the promise he had not been able to keep, of all the obligations and responsibilities and burdens tying people to one another, to their lives, of the endless chain of promises that would die here with them, remain forever unfulfilled. “I - I f-f-f-failed,” he said. “So s-s-sorry.” He could feel the tears freezing on his cheeks. “I j-just wish I - I c-c-could have - k-kept you suh-s-safe ...”

And then there were two pinpricks next to his heart, and Jack felt a sudden warmth flow through him, and he was on his feet again, the sensation returning in a rush to his numbed fingers and toes. “Sammy?” he said.

“I - A little natural antifreeze for your blood,” Sammy said weakly. Jack could feel him withdrawing his fangs, the miraculous venom administered. “Little - little trick dad taught me.”

“Oh, my God,” Jack gasped, cupping his arm around his chest. “Sammy, you - How did you - I didn’t know you could -”

“F-first one’s free, remember?” Sammy said.

Jack burst out into laughter. He felt warm now, a delicious warmth radiating out of him, the bite marks on his chest burning like hot coals. He brushed the ice crystals off his face, watched them melt on him like dew. “You clever little bastard! I had no idea! All this time you could -”

“Don’t - don’t get used to it,” Sammy cut in. “Not sure how long that’s going to last. Just enough to keep us going. A little while longer. It’s all I could - I could manage ...”

“Oh.” Jack surveyed their surroundings. The creature was nowhere to be seen. They had lost it, perhaps, or it had given up the chase as his body heat had been leached away by the cold. His newfound warmth suddenly felt reckless on him, like a delicious bit of prey wafting off its scent. Who knew what would come hunting. He had completely lost track of the location of their truck by now, and all the snowy landscape was unfamiliar. “So. We’re utterly lost, stranded out in the arctic, no supplies other than what I had in my pockets, and there’s this crazy snowbeast out there hunting for us. What now?”

He felt something smooth wriggle up against him, and then Sammy’s small scaly head peek out from his parka, eyes turned upward to the perpetual twilight of the sky. “We keep going where we were headed before, I guess,” he said in his small voice.

“We follow the stars.”

  They trudged along, the supernatural heat of the venom still coursing through Jack’s veins. The magic seemed to have taken a lot out of Sammy, and despite Jack’s warmth he was still sluggish, and had little to offer. Jack navigated for the both of them. Already he could feel the numbness creeping back into his extremities, prodding into him, looking for the path of least resistance, and he furiously clenched his fingers into fists to try and keep the sensation in them. He tried to remember the desert, all those years ago, the wandering path he had taken, and looking up at the sky he felt that old hallucinatory atmosphere descend on him, walking the thin line between life and death, between abandonment and survival. He imagined a dark plinth, and in his mind imbued it with a spiritual magnetism. Compass north, leading him blindly through the dark.

“God loves children and drunkards and fools,” he said to himself, and in his mouth it came out as prayer. 

He walked, the cold creeping in, his feet growing numb again. He had to beat the sensation back into his cheeks, slap his gloved fingers against his thigh just to feel a jolt of sensation. Up he hiked a snow bank to get a better view, and in the distance the sky seemed to be reflected in the ground. Jack squinted, trying to get a better view, and ahead he seemed to see ice, or not ice but crystal, jutting out blackly from the snow. He started running, half-running, stumbling. “Sammy!” he whispered, patting himself in the chest. “Sammy! Look! Do you see it?”

Sammy only gave a low moan and shifted weakly, and did not respond.

Jack kept running, almost tilting unbalanced through the snow, and the snow gave out from under him and he fell, rolling down the hill, the sky and the snow and the sky and the snow again, black - white - black - white, until the two seemed to meld together indistinguishably. He rolled to a stop and tried to get up, and could not tell up from down. He was so terribly cold again, or perhaps warm, and after a while he stopped trying to get up and just flopped down where the snow took him. It did not matter, he thought dreamily. The black caverns of ice were a hallucination. Or, if they were not, perhaps the snow and the cold were the hallucination. Perhaps he was still in that desert. Perhaps he had never left. Perhaps the last few years had been nothing but the hallucination of a man baking to death under the desert sun. He smiled at that with cracked lips. At least then he would be warm, so terribly, wonderfully warm....

And then the sky above him blazed, and even against his breast Sammy writhed to life, and Jack found himself staring into the burning eye of God.

He screamed, tried futilely to shield himself from the light. No, it was burning, burning! All around him the snow sizzled and melted away. And this was real heat as opposed to the warmth of Sammy’s venom, an awful flame that sparked the nerves in his fingers and toes to life and made them cry out in agony. It was the sun, forged like a blade, a burning sword, the edge of a wheel that rolled through the sky and cut through the day, and Jack found himself hauled to his feet.

“As always,” came a resounding voice. “God has provided.” And then, as if speaking straight to him, in a lower register, burnished with a false compassion: “You are fortunate in this. Your death shall serve a higher duty.”

The awful flame was lowered and quenched, and Jack blinked back the whiteness. No, the flame was gone, the licking tongues of heat were gone, and yet the radiance remained. He was staring at a winged thing, at eyes that stared back, at a face that was many faces, at wheels within wheels.

He was looking at an angel. 

The angel ducked underneath, carried him under one arm (wing?) into the icy caverns, great black walls that watched him in reflection. “H - hey!” Jack gasped out, trying to regain his senses. The sudden burst of flame had seared but hardly thawed him, and all his nerves sang in the agony between extremes. “You - you’re an angel! And we - we came here because -” Because what? Because what?! He forced himself to think, brought the thought up from the bottom of a deep dark chasm. “The lever! We know about the lever!”

The angel barely responded, shifted in a small movement that might have been irritation. “You are not the first to know,” it said at last, eyes glancing down. “And if you came here knowingly, then God has provided. And you are a willing sacrifice in this.”

“S-sacrifice?” Jack made a spasmodic attempt at freedom in the angel’s grip. His limbs were all clumsy, puppeted wooden limbs, if wood could somehow feel agony. “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about! We - we came here to see! To see if there was anyone else!” A great rush of emotion overtook him. “You’re not alone! You don’t have to be alone!”

He felt the weight of the angel’s scorn. “You are delusional,” it said. “Your journey here has left you bereft of your senses.”

“No! No, I know about everything! We can help you! We can help!”

The black walls gleamed ichor-slick, hungry. The passages down the cavern seemed narrower and narrower, and an awful energy pulsed through them, as if they were descending into the bowels of some dark rapacious thing. “You know nothing,” the angel intoned. “You speak of ‘we’, and yet you have come alone.” It regarded him coldly with dozens of pairs of eyes. “Who is this ‘we’, hmm? Who is this companion you imagine with you? Do you imagine yourself wiser than me?” It laughed cruelly. “Do you imagine yourself spoken to by God?” 

Jack tried to speak, and felt something near his heart uncoil, ease past the lump in his throat, and then Sammy’s head slithered out of his parka, tongue flickering to taste the air. “Oh, hey,” Sammy said, looking up at the angel.

The angel blinked with dozens of eyes. “Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” it said. “Nate had a kid?”

 The angel - whose name was Uriel - took them to a little cavern off the side of one of the passages, where Jack told the whole story. About how he had met Nate the Snake and become bound to him, about how Nate had grown old and finally wanted to die, about how Sammy was to serve as his replacement, and how he was taking the kid on a tour of the world before Sammy would be bound to his duty forever. “So, Nate’s finally found a way out,” muttered Uriel, glancing over at the young snake. “He’d been so long at it, I wouldn’t have thought such a thing was possible.”

“So ... how did you know my father?” Sammy asked meekly. “He - he never mentioned you.” 

“He didn’t, did he?” Uriel mused. “Of course not. How long’s it been? In the end, he’s only a snake, after all, crawling on his belly through the dust. It wears away at a soul, that sort of mortal existence, while I remain divine. No surprise he’s gone senile, barely able to remember a thing.”

Sammy hesitated, a dozen questions flickering on the tip of his tongue, and then he shrank back into his coils again, cowed by Uriel’s easy dismissiveness.

Jack looked over at him, concerned. Sammy had chimed in now and again in the telling of the story, but had otherwise stayed quiet. Jack clenched his fingers again. The sensation had gradually returned with a prickling discomfort - he was sure he could feel ice crystals slowly dissolving in his flesh - but his fingers showed no signs of frostbite, perhaps thanks to the power of Sammy’s venom. The cavern was much warmer than the outside, but it wasn’t quite warm - there was an uneasy chill set through it, just like the light. There was no visible source of light that he could see, but the ice walls themselves seemed to be painted with a grudging, just-barely adequate illumination.

“Hey!” Jack cut in. “You think you could -” He glanced down at the scabbard by the angel’s side. “That was a flaming sword you were waving around out there, right?” Uriel gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I get the reference. My little buddy here’s cold-blooded, so not exactly an inviting atmosphere in here. You think you could take that sword of yours out, maybe warm us up a bit?” And get a fire roaring, he thought to himself, anything to drive away the gloom.

Uriel shook his heads, a silent chorus of disapproval. “I’d rather not. The heat of the flame, if left exposed for too long - well, it tends to attract things in here. And I doubt you’d like what it calls down.”

“The - the whatever it was that attacked us,” Sammy said, nudging Jack in the side. “It was eating the fire!”

“Yeah! Big guy, eight feet tall, the feeling of that awful sapping deathly cold like you’re never going to be warm again?” Uriel nodded. Jack clutched his arms around himself instinctively and shivered. “What was that thing, anyway?”

Uriel shrugged, which with all those heads was a small upheaval. “It is The Cold. I know no other name for it.” 

“But what is it?” Jack insisted. “Where’d it come from?”

“It is one of God’s creations, like all things,” Uriel replied. “Where does anything come from? It roams in these icy wastes, comes in drifts and drafts inside these caverns...” He waved a hand. “It doesn’t bother me. I don’t have the sort of animal heat it’s after. But taking out this flame for anything more than a few seconds, it’ll come loping along hungry and - trust me, it’s not worth it.” 

“So what, that’s your answer?” Jack said. He wasn’t even that cold anymore, but Uriel’s nonchalance irritated him nonetheless. “God? God wills it? Why would God ever create something as horrible as that?”

“It may not have been horrible at the moment of its creation,” said Uriel. Distantly, his eyes rose up to gaze at the black ice. Or, not black itself, Jack realized, staring upwards, but reflecting something black in its core. “But sometimes things grow bitter in their abandonment. It is no danger to me. Nothing in the world can harm me. I vanquish it, drive it off. But it reforms itself, returns, lies in wait. Why take the trouble?” He snapped back to attention, eyes focusing like sunlight through a lens. “But back to your story. You said you had come to see me, that you knew about the lever.” 

“Oh yeah, right,” mumbled Jack, fumbling in one of his pockets for the pictures he had taken. “We were traveling the world, right? And then in Greenland we came across this account by this woman, Elizabeth Hortense Bittle. An American explorer and theosophist.” He held his phone out to Uriel. Of course, it was useless for communication way up here, but he’d kept his phone with him as a recording of everything they’d experienced on their travels.

An old picture of Elizabeth Bittle looked out of the phone, a woman with quaint little gold-rimmed glasses and her hair pulled pack into a bun. Uriel regarded the glowing screen without curiosity. Jack swiped to the next picture, pictures they’d taken of the little leather-bound notebook in the museum, in her neat little script. “She’d collected a bunch of stories about a mystical lever that lay somewhere in the Arctic Circle.” He exchanged glances with Sammy. “A lever that could destroy the world.”

“I wasn’t sure about it,” Sammy said quietly. “Like, maybe she was just confused? I mean, I’d seen the world, I wanted to go back home and take up my duty already - “

“A worthy cause,” Uriel interjected quietly.

“- but Jack convinced me that if it did exist, if there was a second lever, then maybe we could - we could learn something, maybe there was another way, so that no one would have to be bound ...” 

“It had to be a second lever,” Jack cut in, “because Elizabeth Bittle also wrote about ours!” He swiped to a different page of the notebook. “See? ‘... I have heard tell of a second lever, somewhere in the desert’! So she’d heard of ours, but unlike this one, she never got a clear idea of where it was supposed to be located. Rumours passed around by an esoteric Kabbalist sect.” He flicked through the various pages for a minute. “I’m not sure how she heard about ours to begin with, Nate made me swear that whole secrecy oath ... Although maybe the reason it was so comprehensive was that someone, years and years before, had let something slip ...?

“Anyway.” He shook his head. “Bittle gets really into the idea of these magical levers all across the world, right? She - You know the saying, Give me a lever and somewhere to stand, and I will move the world? She thought, why stop at one? In her notebooks she develops this whole mystical system where the world is moved by a series of levers - one for Good, one for Evil, one for Peace, one for War ... the whole world, balanced around a system of leverages. And if you could just pull the right lever, suddenly, the world makes sense! Everything’s perfected, just shifted ever so slightly in one direction! Everything falls right into place!”

He paused, looking up for a reaction, and was met only with the wall of Uriel’s impassive gaze. “And, uh, that’s all we know about it,” he finished lamely. “Bittle set out on an expedition, searching for this lever at the North Pole, but the expedition never returned. She was presumed dead ...” He petered off. “I, uh, I don’t suppose you ever met her?”

“Oh,” said Uriel. “I have.”

“Oh!” said Jack.

“But she was quite wrong,” Uriel said softly, and this time his voice seemed to reverberate around the cavern walls. Jack and Sammy glanced around. The blackness seemed to be trembling, keening. “There is no great system of levers scattered around the world. Only ours two. Only ever two.”

“Two?” said Jack. He blinked hard. The eerie atmosphere of the cave system was getting to him. He could look down at his fingers in front of him and then they would blur around the edges and then he wasn’t sure how well he had seen them at all. He had the sudden irrational sensation that there was not actually warmth in the cave, or light - it had just shaped itself to pacify him, lure him into a false sense of safety as he wandered deeper into the cold and into the dark.

“Wait a minute,” he said, trying to think. “We came from Eden. And if you’re the -” He nodded at the scabbard by Uriel’s side. “The angel guarding the entrance, Mister flaming sword. So how are there two of them.” He narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing all the way up here?”

“Ah, the garden,” Uriel sighed. “What a short-sighted, mortal way of imagining it, that old, dead Eden must be bound to a single spot on the surface of the world.” The eyes glinted with amusement. “What did you do, to find old Nate, crawling out in that desert? What did you do, to get here?”

“I ...” Jack looked down at hands that should’ve been blackened and rotting, lying dark in the grave. “I ...”

“Let paradise wither and die,” said Uriel. “The husk of the birthplace that you came from. Your heritage, denied. What’s left?”

“I … I died,” Jack said softly.

Uriel made a velvet sound in his many throats, like a purr.

“What’s going on?” Jack said. He felt unsteady. The ground seemed to be swaying under him, liquid, and the ice seemed to be calling out, vibrating at a frequency to raise gooseflesh on skin. He looked up at Uriel. “What’s going on here?”

“What happened to Miss Bittle?” Sammy said softly. “What did you do to her?”

“Two levers,” Uriel said, ignoring them both. “One at the beginning of Creation. And one at its End.” 

He rose, wings spreading, countless countless eyes staring, shifting, tremoring like the ice, almost imperceptible vibrations shifting through the angel’s body like foreshocks, portending a great upheaval. His voice dropped to match the hum of the ice, the hungry keening call of it, and both Jack and Sammy shrank away. “You’ve told me all about your lever. Now, would you like to see mine?”

 The path down to the lever was precarious, an ice-slick descent that Jack had to navigate inch by inch, his boots slanted sideways to better grip the ice, Sammy coiled around his neck. He kept glancing up at Uriel, who floated just ahead of them on his many wings, heedless of them. They inched down, down, lower down, into a pit that seemed to recede into the depths of the earth. High above, stalactites glinted like the knifepoints of stars. And at the bottom of the pit a long thin rod jutted out of the ground.

It was a gleaming black in contrast to Nate’s plain white, a slick jet black that seemed hungry, greedy, soaking in the light. On the plinth, instead of a tree there was carved a rune that neither Jack nor Sammy recognized, sloping, curving gutters cut into the stone that seemed to all flow to its centre, to the base of the lever itself.

“It’s like a labyrinth,” Sammy whispered. Jack slid down the last few feet, caught himself, finally stood again on level ground.

“The End of the World,” Uriel said, floating to move behind the angle of his lever. In the dim light it seemed to dance and twitch, seeming to lunge forward of its own account half an inch, and Jack started as if to grab it. “Oh, it does that,” Uriel said, smiling. “Nasty little thing. Almost has a mind of its own.”

“No ...” Jack muttered. The pit walls towered up above them. “No, this isn’t right ...”

“Why not?” said Uriel pleasantly. “Are you privy to the mind of God? Did you set the stars in their places in the heavens? Have you tamed Behemoth, put a hook through Leviathan’s lip? Hm? Hmmm? You think you know what it’s like, guarding your precious little lever! Oh boo-hoo, poor you, you’ve been so isolated and alone!” His mocking voice echoed. “No one but an endless stream of co-guardians to keep Old Nate company!” His voice sharpened into a scream. “You know what I’ve had to do?! Do you know what MY duty is?!”

The black lever gave a growl, its gears interlocking beneath the surface. It was the jutting angle of the hand of a clock.

“It’s moving on its own,” Jack said.

“Oh, yes,” Uriel said. “It wants to be pulled. Of course it does. End of the world, generations and generations overdue. Inches forward, ticking down inevitably towards the end of everything! Oh, I’ve tried! I’ve tried to hold it back! I’ve piled rocks, tried to bury it, tried to chain it back -”

“And by the next day, all of that would disappear,” Jack said.

“But of course, there’s only ever one thing that works,” said Uriel, his voice suddenly a deadly calm. “Only one thing that can convince God to stave off the end of the world just for a little while longer.”

“Sacrifice,” whispered Sammy. His eyes darted down to the runes, to the gutters etched into the stone. “Blood.”

Uriel moved aside, and in a corner of the chamber they saw bones, clothes, scraps of fur preserved by the cold, and atop the pile the glint of a pair of quaint little gold-rimmed glasses. 

“Blood,” Uriel said.

“No, no, no -” Jack stammered, backing away. “This is crazy! You didn’t need to kill her! You could’ve - She could have helped you! Got you more animals! Fresh meat!” 

“Oh, but you haven’t been listening,” Uriel said silkily. His hand came out to stroke the black sheen of the lever and it responded to his touch, like a slavering beast anticipating a meal. Its invisible gears whined. “We don’t work by the same rules! I’m not permitted confidants! You understand, don’t you? Don’t you!” His eyes honed in on Sammy, and then flickered briefly back to Jack. “Humans can’t save the world! They can only help destroy it!”

“I - I - My dad said something about this, maybe,” Sammy whimpered, anxiety growing in his lidless eyes. “About levers. I - I don’t know! I was just a little kid! He never expected me to be here!”

“And they are destroying it,” Uriel went on. “For centuries, for millennia, my duty was easy. Oh, yes, for millennia the lever called to me and cursed at me and whispered to me in the dark, oh yeessss, it told me it was the fulfilment of all things! But the game was plentiful, and the hunting was easy, and even in my small sphere of influence I could bring back plenty of sacrifices to sate its endless thirst for blood! But it has grown warmer! And the game has grown scarce! And in the bits and whispers I can scrounge up at this forsaken corner of the world I know the truth!”

The wings all fanned out, an inverted panopticon of eyes. His voice dropped to a hiss. “Humans have failed their role as stewards. For all the blood I have shed here, for all the countless, countless deaths. And yet they bring it on. And yet they are hastening it to an end.”

Jack took another step back, glancing back up the perilous slope, and beyond that the maze of twisting turning passages Uriel had led them down, jagged and black and hungry like knives. 

“Oh, don’t try to run,” Uriel said calmly. “I’m an angel! I can fly! And whatever Nate might have done to you, you’re still only human. Human, at best.”

“Okay,” Jack said evenly, holding up his hands. He couldn’t take his eyes off the surface of the plinth, the black floor of an abattoir. “But it wasn’t Miss Bittle that did that. People that come all the way up to the North Pole, they’re the people that actually appreciate it, you know that! She just wanted to make the world a better place, in her own fantastical way! She didn’t deserve to die!”

“It’s not about deserves!” Uriel shrieked, and this time the cavern shrieked with him, the blackness of the lever reflected endlessly through it. “Haven’t I told you that?! It’s about the lever! It’s about holding back the end of an unworthy world for just one day longer!” All of a sudden the eyes were brimming with tears, like stars poised above the Earth. “What would you have me do? Let the lever be pulled? Let all of Creation die?” 

The echoes of his outburst sank into the room and quietly died. In the awful ensuing silence, Sammy spoke.

“But we’re here now,” he offered, his voice trembling first and then growing more urgent as he talked. “That’s why we came! Because - because it doesn’t matter what rules you have, or who you’re allowed to trust! Because me and my dad and Jack here were a thousand miles away, just as alone, not being able to trust anyone else! And guess what? We found each other!”

“We can help you,” Jack said. “We can. Look, you don’t know what I’ve done for Nate. There’s the internet, there’s a whole world I can help you communicate with! And I can arrange for more animals, more sacrifices, anything. Whatever you want -”

“No,” said Uriel in a trembling voice. “No, you can’t.”

“Yes, I -“

“Not anymore!” Uriel screamed, and the black lever growled out its chorus. “I told you. It’s too late! The animals have all run off and died. The hunting’s been scarce for decades. The lever hasn’t been fed in months! Time’s up! Time’s up, and you were sent here by God. As providence. Because we’re here on the brink of the end of the world and I can’t wait for you to go out and stumblingly hunt, can’t wait for your arrangements, can’t wait for you to get everything in order! I can’t let you leave and wait until your return, can’t wait for another day to pass!”

The multiple eyes blinked like suns going out. “There must be a sacrifice, now, to keep the world going. It’s been too long. It’s much too late. If you want to save the world, one of you has to die.”

 Jack felt a lump rise in his throat. He’d been counting on compassion, on breaking through Uriel’s isolation with the offer of their help, and now he felt themselves faced instead with a cold equation, as unfeeling as stone. “You can’t kill either of us,” he said, trying his best to keep his voice even. “Sammy needs to take his father’s place. If you kill him here - all you’ll be doing is trading one lever for another, leaving the white one without its guardian. And if you kill me, then it adds up to the same thing! Sammy will be stranded here! He can’t get back without me! The cold will get him!”

Uriel hesitated for a second, barely a movement of feathers, and then shook off Jack’s argument. “Then Nate will simply have to live a little longer. Sad for him, perhaps, but he understands the necessities of our work.”

“No!” Jack could hear the blood rushing in his ears, felt himself rushing on in a suicidal attempt. “I’m the Judge, you hear me? I’m the judge of humanity!” In the back of his mind he was aware of what a pitiful, futile threat this was ��� of course, Uriel could just kill him here, feed his blood to the black lever - but the adrenaline surging through his body would not let him back down. “You kill him here, and I swear to God I’ll go back to Eden and pull my lever! I’ll undo everything you’ve ever done! All your centuries of duty! I’ll kill us all, I swear it! You piece of shit!”

“Jack,” Sammy said gently, and that single word cut through his rage. Sammy was still draped around his neck, nosing next to his ear. “It’s okay. Let him take me. It amounts to the same thing.”

Jack looked at him in shock. “Sammy -!”

“You heard him,” said Sammy, his thin reedy voice gathering up inevitability as he talked, like a pebble starting an avalanche down a hill. “Someone needs to die. And it can’t be you, because someone - someone warm-blooded - needs to make their way back and tell my dad what happened.”

“No.” Jack shook his head. “No, no, there’s got to be a way –“

“And -” Sammy swallowed. “Listen to me, Jack. What do I have to live for, anyway? What’s waiting for me when I go back? An eternity of guarding a lever? To end up like my dad, waiting for you to come back with a sword so you can finally end his life?” Sammy’s eyes flicked up to Uriel. “To end up like him?”

“Sammy, no,” Jack insisted. “You’re young! You have … Look, your dad couldn’t even have imagined the internet, that laptop I built for him, and who knows what else the future has for you? That isn’t - it isn’t a life sentence! Or even if it is, at least you’ll be alive! To see what happens next!”

“Hollow words,” said Uriel, who had been watching in a sepulchral satisfaction. “The young one knows. He knows what fate awaits him.”

“You shut up!” Jack screamed, whirling around on Uriel. There were tears streaming from his eyes. “He’s a kid! He doesn’t know any better! He hasn’t - he hasn’t even seen the world yet! He doesn’t know anything!”

“Jack!” Sammy pleaded. “I have. You know I have. You’ve done everything for me. You’ve shown me the world, more of it than I could have ever imagined. And -”

“No. No no no no no no -”

“And you’ve known,” Sammy insisted. “All this while you’ve known. What would happen at the end of the trip.” He looked up at Jack with a childlike calm. “That you wouldn’t just be ending one life, but both of them.” 

“No!” Jack said. “You -” He could feel the blood rushing through his brain, and in one last desperate gambit he turned to appeal to Uriel. “Listen, okay, the kid didn’t want to do this, I didn’t want to drag anyone else into this, but you want a sacrifice?” He bared his teeth. “I’ll get you a sacrifice. Get me up to the surface. We had a convoy traveling with us. They escorted us out here and we did the last leg on our own, to keep this place a secret. They’ll be searching for us. It’s been too long since last contact. You get us back up there, I’ll lure one of them in.”

“J-Jack?” Sammy said, looking over at him confused. “What ...?”

“I know!” Jack said, speaking over him quickly. “You’re scared of what comes next. You think you have to do this all on your own. You think this is the easy way out.” He looked back up to Uriel.  “But you know it’s not that easy. We all have our duty to do. So c’mon!” His voice rose into a challenging crescendo. “Let’s do it!”

Uriel regarded him dubiously. “And why should I believe you? You never mentioned any companions before.” He gestured towards the hungry black surface of the lever. “Why should I not fulfil my duty, right here, right now?”

“Because,” Jack said. “Because we’re all already connected. Because Nate’s back in Eden, and he’s dying. Whether you believe it or not, he’s dying. He’s lived too long, and if neither of us go back to him then who knows what he’ll do, and what good’s killing a fucking kid to keep the world going if everything’s just going to go to hell a few weeks later?” He jutted his jaw out at Uriel, and saw the angel yield, by just an inch. “And if you kill me too then Nate’s all alone and lapses into despair and – and I don’t like to think what happens next! And if you leave me alive, I swear I’m going back, and I’m pulling that damn lever myself!”

He took a step forward, bringing both hands loudly down on his thighs. “We got our duty to do! We’re keeping the world from dying! And there’s a bunch of fresh meat up there ready for sacrifice, so let’s get up there and fucking do it!”

Sammy had shrank back, cowed into silence. Uriel was staring at him stunned. “But we -” Uriel started. All the eyes shifted in different directions. “No, no, you are delaying for time -”

“And you got time!” Jack shot back. “You listened to me tell that whole damn story! You’ve got - the end of the day, right? Till the end of the day, right? So let’s go up there, and give it a shot, and if no one comes you’ve still got us, right?” He prodded Uriel in the chest with a finger. “So let’s get up there, and you do your fucking job!” 

 Their march back through the maze of passageways was silent. Sammy hung limply on Jack’s shoulders, all the fight gone out of him. I didn’t mean it, Jack wanted to tell him, you don’t have your dad’s whole life resting on you, but Uriel floated behind them grimly, and the words didn’t seem to come. It was a relief to emerge into the open air again, to behold the dark of twilight instead of an unnatural ever-present light, to feel the gust of cold air on his cheeks instead of that warmthless warmth. They stood outside the entrance to the cavern, looking out at an unbroken landscape of snow. “I see nothing,” Uriel said.

“Yeah, well.” His breath came out in puffs. “You got to signal them. We left the flares back in the truck, I told you that.” He gave a nod to Uriel’s waist. “Use that goddamn sword of yours. Wave it around. They’ve gotta be searching for us by now. Get some attention.”

Uriel narrowed his eyes at him.

“What?” said Jack. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? You attract the - the whaddyacallit, The Cold? You said you could fight it off, if it came to that. Big deal! Let’s get some light and heat up here! It’s kind of what attracts living creatures, you know!”

Uriel let out a long sigh. “I don’t know how Nate put up with you,” he said, and unsheathed the sun.

Even through his bravado, Jack cringed away at the arc of the flame cutting through the cold and dark. The snow around Uriel hissed into steam. Jack felt the hairs on his skin singe. “Oh huuuumans,” Uriel crooned out, waving his sword through the air. “Humans that are no doubt out there. Come, come and save your friends!” 

Jack found himself staring out into the dark, half expecting in the delirious heat of Uriel’s flame for a rescue party to materialize, walking towards them with open arms. Perhaps a minute passed, and then another, Uriel’s motions becoming more theatrical, more flamboyant, almost mocking their last vestige of hope.

And then, from the gathering flurries of snow, came was the ravenous starving howl.

“Well, who could have foreseen this would happen,” Uriel muttered grimly, turning to face the beast materializing out of the darkness. It did not have the slow implacable pace as before, but was almost bounding towards them now in its whirling eddies, like a wolf scenting a steak, maddened by the heat of the open flame. “I do hope you’re happy,” he started to say, “one of you really is going to have to be the sacrifice now -”

He looked back to see Jack already running away from the cavern at full speed.

“You little fool!” Uriel snarled, and swung his sword in a great circle over his head, and all at once a ring of flame sprouted out from the snow, the sudden rush of heat knocking Jack back on his bum. “You think you could escape me? ME? An angel of God?” Uriel screamed, and then cried out in a grunt of pain as with a lunge The Cold buried its icy talons into his side. “Ungrateful little shits!” He plunged the flaming sword down and The Cold opened up its gullet to devour it, and there was a great rush of steam, the sound of the ground shattering apart.

“B-back into the caves!” Sammy gasped.

“What?!” Jack roared, still shielding his eyes from the wall of flame.

“We’re surrounded by fire! There’s nowhere else! Maybe we can lose him in the caverns!”

Jack gave a quick nod and veered around back into the caverns. From behind them were the sounds of glaciers cleaving apart, the sizzling of the sun, hot and cold locked together in a deathless match. “Oh my God. Oh my God. I can’t believe you did that,” Sammy moaned. “We can’t - He knows these caves better than we do! What was I thinking?”

“It’s fine,” Jack said, with a confidence he didn’t feel. “He - Look, he needs to come in here after us, right? He needs to make the sacrifice in time. And we can - All we need to do is avoid him, lose him in the passages, stay out of his way -” 

“Until what, Jack?” Sammy demanded. “Until it’s too late? Until it’s the end of the world?”

The black ice watched them hungrily as they descended deeper into the caves, pulsing against its confines, countless open black mouths trying to draw them in. “We -” Jack wiped sweat from his brow. “Look, we’ll think of something.”

“The lever,” Sammy said, and swallowed. “We have to go back to the lever. It always comes back to that.” He shook his head, contorting as if to twist himself into knots. “I don’t know what to do, Jack! I thought I was doing the right thing, offering myself up to Uriel to sacrifice. But - but this isn’t right! I feel like my dad told me something about, like he knew! If only he was here! But he’s not! I don’t know –” He burst out into a wail. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him!”

“Sammy.” Jack paused for a moment to catch his breath, still flushed from the heat and the exertion. “Listen, I know it’s scary, and I know it’s not fair, everything that’s expected of you, but -”

A sluice of cold air cut him off, a bladed tongue flickering across his cheek, and Jack looked up to see, walking as if hunched in the low passageways, a great grey ugly thing that was the absence of all light, the absence of all warmth, advancing upon them.

“What,” he breathed, and looked back the way they had come. Even from the entrance way, they could still hear echoing the sounds of battle, Uriel’s grunts, and flame hissing against ice.

“Oh my God,” said Jack. “There’s more than one of them.”

They were running again, The Cold behind them, the slanted passageways of the caverns narrowing in on them, herding them, black and glistening like a long dark throat. In the depths of the earth they felt a shift, the ticking of a great clock. Doom, it said. Doom, doom, doom. 

“Jack. We have to,” Sammy moaned. “It’s the end of the world otherwise. The end of the world!”

Jack ran, his feet pounding against the ground. He could almost see the black lever, visible through the false light, calling to him, pulling at him. Magnetic north. And then another sudden draft of cold air, and there was the Cold seeping through the invisible crevasses in the ice, the one chasing him, or maybe yet another, re-forming in front of them as a great grey swirling cloud, raising its massive fists.

“Oh God,” muttered Jack, skidding to a halt. He could feel the lever pulling magnetic at his blood, yanking him closer in great cravings and throes. He wanted to laugh. They were trapped in a no-win situation, only trying to die, and now even that was impossible. “We can -” He looked helplessly behind him. “There’s got to be another way around -”

Sammy uncoiled from his neck and slithered down onto the ground, away from him. “Jack,” he said. “Lead it away.”

Jack gaped. “What?”

“Lead it away! It’ll go after you! You’re warm-blooded, and then I can get past!” Sammy was already wriggling himself into a small crack in the wall. “Jack! It’s the only way! Please!”

“No. No, no, no.” Already he was coming back to his senses, the awful Cold advancing on him. “What are you going to do? You can’t sacrifice yourself!”

“I’ll throw myself down. It’s high enough.” Jack stood frozen in shock, the Cold advancing on him, Sammy curled up almost comically in that little crack. All he had to do was stand here, he told himself. The Cold would fall upon him and devour him, eat up every last spot of warmth in his blood, and Sammy would be trapped in there until it left. Until it was too late to do anything. Until...

“Please!” Sammy begged. “Help me save you! I don’t want you to die!”

Jack came to life and ran.

He did not know where he was going. There were tears streaming down his face, and all the icy walls had turned against him, like teeth arrayed backwards in a gullet, trying to keep the food from coming back up. “C’mon!” he screamed behind him, his voice echoing hysterically through the empty chambers. “You big dumb thing! I’m right here! Keep up!” The Cold’s icy breath hissed down his spine and Jack ran, ran, ran, as if he could lead death itself far away from Sammy, lead it to the ends of the Earth, where no one might ever be hurt again. “Follow the leader!”

He ran, the path narrowing and narrowing until he was at a dead end, nowhere left to go. Jack sank to his knees, pressing his forehead against the ice. He could hear the Cold coming, and closed his eyes. “Sammy,” he said. “Sammy, I’m so sorry.”

The Cold first bit into his calf, shards of ice that froze his blood and nearly stopped his heart, and then he felt its awful weight on him spreading across his body almost intimate, like a lover, and he thought, if this is death then maybe Sammy was right, maybe there were worse things than this.

 The sun, when it appeared, was no less terrifying from having experienced it twice before.

Uriel grunted as he shoved the flaming sword through the Cold’s chest, only lightly crisping Jack’s skin. Jack gasped and convulsed as Uriel fished the icy corpse off him, his limbs not obeying, and then then Uriel had hauled him into the air. I’m dead, Jack thought, This is Heaven, or Hell, and then he realized that it was the air in front of him that had coagulated into darkness, pulsed with the beat of a dying world.

“Where is the little snake?” Uriel was screaming at him, impatiently sheathing his sword. “You fool! We’re out of time! You understand that? We’re out of time!”

“I -” Jack tried to gesture jerkily to whatever remained of the Cold. “He told me to lead it away. So that he could - could get to the lever, could -” He broke off.

“Well, you had better hope this little plan succeeded,” Uriel snarled. “Otherwise, congratulations.” He looked up into the darkness. “You’re responsible for the end of the world.”

They stood in the lightless air, listening. The world ticked down, the vibrations of the lever running through the earth, counting towards zero. Jack felt himself shift in Uriel’s grip, one last great convulsion, the lever shifting in its axis -

And then nothing.

Jack slowly opened his eyes, seeing nothing but more darkness. He counted internally to ten, and then brought his hand up to his face and touched his left cheek, his upper lip, before finally touching the tip of his nose. “Hey,” he said. “I’m still alive.”

“Yes,” Uriel said in the darkness. “As am I.”

The sword came out again, and Jack winced and shielded his eyes, but it was dimmed this time, Uriel raising it like a torch. All around them was the ice - but only ice, slowly relaxing into water where Uriel’s sword pointed, rivulets running down and joining in their paths. Ice that caught the reflection of the flame, and was clear, showing no taint of black.

“He did it,” mumbled Jack, and then wanted to weep. He imagined Sammy, his little body sprawled out on that black altar. “He did it.”

“He did ... something,” Uriel cautiously said.

Jack clung to Uriel, the angel carrying him down the passageways, flaming sword raised to make a thousand candle flames warped through glass. Jack felt like they were walking through a church, candles lit in prayer as the wax ran and wept to make crooked cheerful shapes as all the candles bowed and guttered out. Uriel flew them into the central chamber, and far below they could see the dim outline of the plinth and its lever, unmoved. It was black, still, but all the malevolence of its blackness seemed to have gone out of it, and now it was soft as shadow.

“This is... How did this happen?” Uriel said. Jack looked up at him, uncomprehending. “It ... It ...”

And then, a small voice chimed out from the ground below them. “H-hey, could you - could you move that fire a little closer? S-some of us are c-cold-blooded, you know.”

“Oh my God!” cried Jack. “Sammy?”

Sammy was lying limply at the edge of the precipice, stirring to life as Uriel brought the flame closer. “Hey, guys,” he said, and stretched out at the warmth. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“But -” Uriel was gawking, countless eyes wide in disbelief. “What - what happened? What did you do?”

“Oh, that,” said Sammy, and glanced down at the lever. “Nothing.”

Uriel stared at him stunned.

Sammy raised his head in a smile. “Absolutely nothing. It was feeding on blood, obviously. And it hadn’t been fed in quite a while. Practically starving to death. So it was really throwing a tantrum, screaming out with all it had left to be fed. But it could only keep that up for so long, and if you just keep on not feeding it, well ...” He managed with a twist of his body what might pass as a shrug. “It’s done. It’s dead.”  

“But -” Uriel stammered. “But all this time, all the sacrifices -”

“Yup,” said Sammy, nodding wearily. “It got into your head. I – I don’t blame you, having to live with a thing like this. It was blackmailing you the whole time, threatening to pull itself, threatening to take the choice out of your hands, when really…” He chuckled. “It’s a tool, you know? It could threaten, it could manipulate - but it would take someone else to use it.”

“Oh, Sammy!” Jack cried, and squeezed out of Uriel’s slack grip. The angel seemed completely at a loss, floating numbly in mid-air without a word. Jack bent over the snake and scooped him up. “I thought – oh God, I thought you were going to kill yourself.” 

“Yeah,” murmured Sammy, coiling loosely around Jack’s wrist again. “I did too. It gets to the point where you ... where you think that’s maybe the only option. But I was right there, on the brink, the lever calling out to me, and all I could think about was you, and I ...” He smiled weakly. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Jack.”

“Yeah?” Jack said, wiping away a tear.

“Yeah,” said Sammy. He relaxed, laying his head against Jack’s arm. “You, me, and some wisdom from dear old dad. It took me a while, but I finally remembered his advice.” He raised his head, mimicking old Nate’s voice. “’You’ve got to lead a Cold, starve a lever.’”

[kusunogatari]

[ ObiRyū October | Day Eight | Full Moon ] [ @abyssaldespair ] [ Uchiha Obito, Suigin Ryū, Hatake Kakashi ] [ Verse: Of Monsters and Men ] [ Blood ]

[ Previous ] [ Next ]

When he wakes, he is in pain.

The smell of dewy soil and moss fills his nose, and as he rouses back into full consciousness, he realizes his clothes are damp, body prone in the forest underbrush.

Where...what…?

At first, he can’t muster the strength to move. Every part of him is sore and stiff. But sheer will lets him curl an arm, struggling to bring it up under his torso and start pushing himself off the ground. A knee bends to support his weight, followed by another, and his other arm.

On all fours, he pants...and then notices something dripping. Foggy eyes flicker to a growing stain of crimson under his bowed head.

...he’s bleeding.

A hand lifts, gingerly prodding at his face only to cry out in pain as fingers find raw flesh. And a look reveals more wounds along his arm...and down his torso, dipping over his hip.

Something tore the ever-loving hell out of him, but...he’s alive.

...will he stay that way is the question.

Panting, he looks around. It takes a moment, but he recognizes his surroundings. The logging camp he’s been working at the past few weeks. They arrived this morning to find their equipment all in shambles. At first they thought it was the work of thieves or vagrants, but then…

Then…

In flashes, the memories cut through the mist in his mind. In a matter of moments they’d been overrun, the sounds of snarls, barks, and howls echoing all around them. Beasts tore through the site, attacking every man as they screamed in terror, begging for help as teeth and claws buried into their backs and tore limbs from their torsos. He can still remember being shoved to the forest floor, giant paws ripping at him as he tried to roll over and crawl away...and then jaws had sunk into the crook of his neck.

In a matter of minutes, it had all gone blissfully quiet.

...what were those things…?!

He can still remember the howling, but...those were no wolves. Not like he’s ever seen. Taller than a man, ambling on both two and four limbs, thirsting for the blood of men.

...monsters.

...he doesn’t want to look. Doesn’t want to see the remains of the others. But as he struggles to his feet, Obito looks over the wreckage.

The wagon they arrived in is overturned, the top crumpled and torn, wooden frame splintered. Their tools are broken and scattered. And among the stumps are the mangled, desecrated bodies of his friends, crows scattering at his movement. Several of the corpses are in pieces...and Obito shrinks as he spies one hanging limply over a tree branch ten feet in the air.

They’re all littered with bite marks and tears from claws...and his stomach turns as he notices chunks missing from legs and torsos. They...they were eaten...weren’t they…?

What kind of animals…?!

A wave of pain washes over him, and his knees go weak. He...he has to find help. The bleeding is sluggish, but it looks like he’s been unconscious at least a few hours. That is...if it’s still the same day. At this point, he has no idea. All he knows is that he’s in shit shape.

The only thing left to do now...is start walking.

The forestry trail is dotted with puddles from a recent shower. Not anything telling for a timeline, it rains here quite often this time of year. It’s a mile to the next paved road - good thing both his legs are still working.

He can only imagine the reaction of whoever manages to spot him first. He probably looks like a black bear’s chew toy.

...but that was no bear.

Breath ragged, Obito pushes himself onward. He just has to reach the main road. Flag someone down. Get a ride back to town and get patched up.

...and report the bodies.

How is he going to explain this? Will anyone believe that they were attacked by a pack of strange wolf-like monstrosities? Or should he allege it was a bear to avoid looking like a lunatic? Will they be able to tell from the wounds left on the bodies?

Too many unanswered questions, and for now he can’t begin to find the solutions. Doesn’t help his head hurts so damn bad he can hardly stand it. Feels like someone is driving a stake through the top of his skull…

And then he stops.

Trotting across the road twenty paces on, a silvery-white wolf stops in the center and stares at him. An angry red scar cuts across an eye, foggy with blindness.

...it also happens to be nearly the size of a horse.

Obito feels his heart stop in his chest. This is it, isn’t it? The monsters have come back to finish what they started, he’s going to die, and this damn headache is...is -!

A growl escapes his throat, hackles raising and staring the other wolf down. He’s wounded, backed into a corner...there’s no animal more dangerous.

But his enemy just continues to stare, no signs of aggression in their movements or posture. It’s like they’re...waiting for something.

For what?

They turn, closing the distance between them. Obito attempts to look menacing, but they both know it’s a farce. His wounds are far too severe to put up any fight. And even then, this form is too new, these instincts too untested. The last exhausted dredges of a human mind are eager to rest, to give way to the beast if it will keep him alive.

So as the white wolf stands just before him, tail cautiously swishing, he maintains a low growl but doesn’t move.

...but then they retreat, turn back, stare at him.

...do they...want him to follow…?

A confused whine escapes his newly-canine throat. Can he trust them? Why would they want to help him? Are they...are they like him?

...what is he now…?

So many questions, but they’re all pushed to the wayside as instinct urges him forward toward survival. He’s still wounded...and right now that’s top priority. Anything else can wait. Limping on his torn right foreleg, Obito follows.

They meander through the forest, white wolf in the lead giving occasional glances back, as if to ensure Obito is still there. Ten minutes pass, and they reach a river, banks slightly swollen with rain. His companion steps into the water.

Seems he needs to wash his wounds.

Wary of the current, Obito staggers into the water, watching as the other wolf stands on his downstream side to keep him from being swept away. Once he’s deep enough, he gingerly lowers to let the water wash over him. The cool, clean liquid eases at the angry heat of the wounds, blood and debris washed from his body.

In his reflection, he sees his new face: coarse black fur, pain-drooped ears, and dark eyes. So...he’s one of them now. Then...were they…?

The thought fades as the rest have, hobbling up the bank and finding a dry patch under some thick brush. Head on his paws, he struggles to stay awake.

But rest is just what he needs.

When he wakes, the sun is shining, the air crisp and clear.

And he’s alone.

Head lifting, Obito tests the air. A mess of smells reaches him, still untrained in their meaning. But the scent of the other wolf is faint. Is he gone…?

But then it spikes, and he turns to see his new friend. In his jaws is a yearling deer, dead and slack.

Unbidden, Obito finds himself panting and drooling. When did he last eat…?

Visage bloody from the kill, the white wolf drops his offering before going to wash off. Seems he’s not hungry.

More for Obito, then.

Once his belly is full, he realizes...the keen sting of his wounds is gone. A look to his leg shows the wounds already scabbed over and shrinking.

...seems he heals fast.

...what else can he do…?

Another day of rest, and then he decides to test his limits. It’s a change, walking on four legs. But within minutes, he’s bounding through the forest, heart pumping and lungs burning with fresh, cold air. Besides him, the white wolf does the same.

Lessons are passed. How to hunt. How to stalk. Where to find water, and a dry place to sleep. And finally...how to Shift.

Like the ones that attacked him, he can take a bipedal form. Hulking and massive, trees topple at his urging, throat issuing a howl that echoes for miles.

He is, indeed, a werewolf.

But so too can he retake his human form. Scars pepper his body, healed over and jagged. Looking into a puddle, he traces the marks along his face.

“...so...think you can handle yourself now?”

Looking up, Obito spies the other wolf, also human. Like Obito, the wounds he bore in his other form follow him here. The scar and blind eye remain.

...but one thing that doesn’t are clothes, the pair of them bare as the day they were born.

“...are you leaving?” His voice is coarse, Obito swallowing at the sound.

“I am.”

“Why?”

“I have my reasons. Ones that can’t involve you.”

Obito’s face falls, but he knows better than to take it personally.

“It’s not easy being a lone wolf, but you’re clearly strong. You’ll figure it out. Find a place to call your own, and defend it. And maybe our paths will cross again.”

“...what’s your name?”

“Kakashi. And you?”

“Obito.”

“...well, good luck, Obito. Try heading south.”

“Why?”

“Because the last thing you want is to run into the ones who Turned you. It’s not safe for you here.”

Obito’s stomach drops. Leave Québec...? But it’s all he’s ever known…! Where he was born!

...yet it also squirms at the thought of seeing the other wolves again.

...Kakashi is right.

“...I will...try.”

“Just stay out of anyone else’s way. Not everything is worth a fight. You’ll stay alive longer that way.” In the blink of an eye, Kakashi Shifts back to his wolf form. He gives the man a farewell lick to his hair, leaping aside playfully as Obito swats him away.

“Eugh!”

Grinning as only a wolf can, Kakashi then slips between the trees...and disappears.

Scowling and wiping the spit from his face, Obito sighs. South...what, into the US? Well, he supposes a wolf won’t need papers...but he barely speaks English. Is he meant to stay a wolf forever, or try and settle himself back into society?

...seems that decision is up to him.

Either way, it’s too cold to remain human long, his hairless skin shivering in the breeze. He too becomes a wolf once more, consulting the sun before picking his direction...and heading off.

Avoiding roads, he travels instead through the wilderness, catching his fill and finding water whenever he needs it. It’s not so bad, this life. His own merit keeps him fed and sheltered. In truth, he wants for almost nothing.

...and yet…

Sitting on a rock outcropping one evening, Obito can’t help but realize...he’s awfully lonely. Kakashi’s company, however brief, had been...nice. Perhaps it’s his human side...but maybe also a longing for a pack. But as he howls into the fading light, hearing nothing in return...it seems to echo hollowly in his chest.

By now he’s surely made it past the southern border of his homeland. But otherwise, he has no idea where he is. The thought of approaching humans after so many weeks as a wolf makes him...nervous. As though the longer he abstains from taking that form, the more frightening they become.

The less human he feels.

But while his freedom and wildness is something to relish in...Obito realizes it’s not what he wants. So the next time he finds a road, he follows it.

It’s barren at night, his paws trotting along the surface in search of where it ends. As for what he’ll do when he finds it, well...he’s not sure.

And that uncertainty grows as the weather starts to change. A cold northern wind picks up...and then flakes of snow start to fall.

Snowstorm.

Hunching his shoulders against it, Obito keeps on, too stubborn to instead veer off in search of shelter. The snow becomes so thick, it takes him over a block to notice that he’s crossed into a little town.

The houses are dark, humans asleep during the witching hour, safe in their beds under their roofs as the snow swirls. Chest tense at being so surrounded, Obito realizes he doesn’t know what to do next. Following the main street, he eventually pauses at a pleasant smell. His nose leads him to a little shop door.

He can smell...bread...when was the last time he smelled that? It brings about thoughts of home, something...comforting about it.

So as the storm keeps passing, he curls up atop the stoop, thick fur impervious as he tucks his paws and snout.

Soon, he’s fast asleep.

For some, the day begins bright and early...or even before it gets bright. Coming down the stairs, a young woman twists her pale hair up into a bun, a kerchief smoothed over it to keep the waves from her face.

One must be an early riser to make bread.

Fires are stoked and ingredients gathered, and she takes a moment to look out the snow-frosted windows. Street lamps glow in the haze of white, the sun not quite yet risen.

But what catches her attention is the odd amount of it piled against her door. Well that won’t do...people will be hard-pressed enough to be out and about today. If she wants them to come in, she’ll need to clear that away. Fetching a broom, she opens the door and makes to brush it aside.

...only to hit something solid.

Greys blink in surprise. What…? Her brow furrows as she keeps dusting the powder off her front step.

...and then she feels her heart leap up to her throat.

As she watches, some kind of beast is unburied, not moving despite her prodding. It...looks like a dog…? But far larger than she’s ever seen. Midnight fur is still dusted with white.

...what should she do…? Is it -? Is it dead?

Despite the potential danger, Ryū feels her heart clench. Did it freeze to death out here? And...how did it get so far into town? “Oh...you poor thing…” Taking a knee, she carefully lays a hand on the creature’s pelt.

...and then falls back with a gasp as it fades away. In the beast’s place...is a man.

Shock holds her hostage for a long moment before she realizes he’s bare and shivering. Scrambling back up, she manages to haul him in with hands under his arms, flushed pink at his nudity. But there are far more important things at play here.

Anything else aside, this is a person.

Making up her mind, Ryū keeps going, bringing him into the now piping-hot kitchen of the bakery to warm him up. She folds a blanket in a corner, arranging him atop it with another over his form to make him cozy as she bustles about her daily routine. Once everything is ready and stocked for the day, she delays opening for a time, knowing few will be out early with all this snow, anyway. Instead, she hauls the man upstairs to her living quarters. From an old chest of her late father’s belongings, she pulls a spare set of clothes. A bit big on him, but...better than nothing. Then into bed she tucks him.

During her dressing, she can’t help but note the rugged scars along his side. Curiosity burns at her, but...well, there’s no asking questions for now.

Certain that he’s safe, dry, and warm...she retreats back to the shop to begin her day.

A few hours later, roused by inviting smells and the steady noise beneath him, Obito manages to peel his eyes open. A minute passes of him dazedly staring at the ceiling before panicking.

Thrashing, it takes a moment to realize he’s not trapped, but...in a bed. In a room. In a house. Breath elevated nonetheless, he stops and takes it all in. The same smell of bread that warmed his dreams is even stronger now. He’s no longer out in the snow, but inside and dry.

...who…?

Dragging himself out of bed, he stumbles, not used to using only two legs. A few French obscenities escape him, clinging to the wall to avoid falling over.

A door lets him into the rest of the living space: a kitchen, small dining area, and a little living room are all one room. Another reveals a loo. And at the far wall is a set of stairs, where the smell is coming from.

Carefully, he slinks down the steps, one at a time.

He emerges into a large room filled with sacks of flour and sugar, as well as spices and cartons of eggs and bottles of milk. One box is filled with nothing but chocolate, making him salivate. And as he peeks through yet another door, he spots the kitchen. It’s massive, with several stone ovens for making bread, fires crackling and embers glowing. It’s incredibly warm, and immediately makes him sleepy again. But he finds one last door.

Through the open crack, he spies a...shop? Large windows along the front give a view into the little town, completely caked with snow. People mill in, clearly eager to get a fresh loaf of warm bread, or perhaps a sweet. And behind the counter is a young woman, bustling busily and juggling them all with a smile.

Something in Obito’s chest clenches at the sight of her, and he recoils in surprise. Sure, he’s not seen a woman in months, but is it really so entrancing?! Yet as he considers it, Obito realizes...this must surely be her shop. He’d fallen asleep on the doorstep. Then...it must be her who dragged him in here out of the cold.

...did she see…?

Flinching as she walks past the door, he almost falls over backward in his rush to escape, body still unused to this form after so long. What is he supposed to do now…?

Lingering in the kitchen and soaking up the heat, he watches as the crowd slowly thins, and the woman locks the shop for a midday break. Seems it’s time for her lunch.

...which means -!

A yelp gets caught in his throat, managing to stay silent as she comes back into the kitchen, her own form coming to an abrupt stop at the sight of him.

“...oh! You’re awake!”

Eyes wide, Obito stares at her, feeling ready to bolt as the half-known language reaches his ears

“You frightened me half to death you know, all curled up on the stoop. I thought for sure you were dead! Oh, but you must be starving...here, come with me.” Seemingly unaffected otherwise, she strides past him toward the stairs, pausing halfway up as he remains frozen. “...well come on! We need to get you fed!”

Feeling chastised as he figures her meaning, Obito can feel the ghosts of his other ears pinning in submission before he hesitantly follows.

By the time he’s up, she’s already rummaging around for something to eat. As expected, there’s plenty of baked goods...but his mouth waters at the smell of dried and salted meat.

“Come, sit! I’ll fetch you a plate.” She pats the chair invitingly.

He doesn’t need telling twice. Obito takes a seat, looking over all the food with a gurgling stomach. The woman fixes him a piled-high plate, and before he can think, he starts tearing into it with a growl.

Across the table, her eyes go wide, staring in surprise.

“...seems you’re still a beast even when you look like a man.”

The words, only partially understood but enough to ring true, make him go still, teeth still buried in a hunk of dried venison.

...so she did see.

But rather than look afraid, she gives him a weary smile. “...I thought I’d been dreaming or lost my mind. But it’s true, isn’t it…? You’re some kind of...half-man, half-beast.”

Eyes flickering over her, Obito struggles to remember the English he knows. “I was...er…” He mumbles the French equivalent before adding, “Bitten. Wolf.” In explanation, he tugs at the shirt she dressed him in, revealing the scars of teeth sunk into the crook of his neck.

Before she can help herself, Ryū grimaces. “...that must have been so painful...how did you survive…?”

“Another wolf. Friendly. Taught me...survive. Had to part. Came here. From Québec. Je viens du Québec.”

Her face alights in understanding. “Canada, then…! You’ve come a long way, we’re a few hundred miles south of the border. No wonder you were so worn out…”

He nods, catching most of her meaning. It’s easier to understand than speak it himself.

“So...like those scary tales of wolfmen. Werewolves. You can...change from wolf to man and back again?”

Another nod.

For a long moment she just...sits and digests that information. “...then you are...alone? No place to go?”

After a hesitation, his ears go red, glancing aside. “I...wander. Had to leave. Not safe to...to stay.”

“...I see.” Her arms fold, thinking. She has yet to touch her own food. “...then you’ll have to stay here, instead.”

“Wh-?!”

“As it turns out, I could use a little help.” Her lips lift in a smile. “I have to move a lot of heavy things. Chop wood for the fires. Hook up the horse to my wagon for supplies. If you do these things for me, then you can stay here. A place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear. That is...if you want. But the snows are deep this time of year. I don’t want you out alone with nowhere to go. Does it sound like a deal?”

“But…!” His mind scrambles to translate his thoughts. “I am...danger! Stranger! I could -?”

“I think if you wanted to kill me, you could have done so by now,” she counters softly, cutting off his rambling. “It would take just a moment to turn into a wolf and tear me apart. Am I wrong?”

He blanches at the thought.

“...but you didn’t. You know I helped you. And I think you’re an honorable man. One who would agree to help me if I helped you.” Reaching across the table, she puts a hand on his own, feeling him flinch. “...take some time to think about it. I won’t make you stay. But we could help each other, you and I. At least until the snows melt, and you can be on your way. Now...finish eating. You’re thinner than I would like.” Smiling coyly, she adds, “I’ll expect you to work hard if you stay, and you can’t do that on an empty stomach. Now...I better get back to work. You stay here and think, and rest.” She picks up her plate, taking it with her back down the stairs.

Flabbergasted, Obito can’t counter her, too surprised. She...she cannot be real. She is too kind…! To offer such help to a stranger, a man she doesn’t know, who she knows is a...a monster…!

He’s not a man of faith, but...surely she’s an angel.

And he fidgets as he realizes the heat in his face at such a simple touch. It’s...clearly been far too long since he’s been around other humans. While he knows he would not - could not - ever hurt her...he has to wonder at his level of self restraint.

...but he’ll do it. He’ll stay. Whatever she needs him to do, he’ll do, and do it well! She saved his life, just as Kakashi did before.

He doesn’t let debts go unpaid.

So he downs the rest of his meal before doing his best to tidy up after himself, wandering back down to the main floor. Business has opened again for the afternoon, more bread to be sold for lunches and suppers.

And as Ryū comes back to fetch more loaves, she comes up short at the sight of him. “Oh!”

“Can...I help?”

“Certainly! Here, grab that tray there, and carry it in for me. I need to put out more on the shelves.”

Taking up the indicated sheet, Obito packs it through the last door, obediently holding it for her as she works.

...it takes him a moment to notice the strange silence that overcomes the room.

The patrons stare, some in horror and some in surprise. Only after a bit of thought does Obito realize why.

It’s not often someone has as many scars as he does.

Ryū, once she’s finished, also notices. But she sets her brow and addresses them openly. “My new hand, Obito. A recent immigrant from the north. He’ll need help settling in, so I do hope you’ll all make him feel welcome.”

At once, everyone turns sheepish at her words, gazes averting and coughing small apologies.

Obito just looks at her in wonder.

A routine then develops. Every morning Ryū wakes before dawn to start her baking, and Obito handles whatever she needs. He chops the hauled logs for her fires, carries heavy sacks of supplies from her wagon, and even helps do repairs on the building as the weather wears it.

And all the while, she keeps up her same gentle manners. Every meal is a hearty one. She patiently mends any holes he tears in the garments she gave him, and patches the wounds his hard work earns him. She takes him out to do her shopping, buying him anything that catches his eye he doesn’t voice, but she still notices.

And Obito realizes he’s growing dangerously fond of her. Any man that eyes her too closely gets glowered off, his height and bulk an adequate intimidation. His work before saw him grow strong, and he’s done so again working under her roof.

His English grows in leaps and bounds. Soon he’s just about perfectly fluent, going pink whenever Ryū offers a patient correction to his grammar.

And then...Spring is upon them. And he has a choice to make. Stay where he is...or strike out once again on his own now that the weather is fair.

...it’s not much of a choice, honestly.

Instead, he has another quandary.

After a time, Ryū started paying him, much to his embarrassment. But he’s been saving every penny beyond what he absolutely needs. And after confirming to her that he would like to stay...he takes his meager savings into town.

It’s a small one, so the shops are limited. In fact, there’s only one jeweler. So he steps through the door nervously, glancing around as his gut swims.

...he’s here to buy a ring.

While he’s hardly known romance in the past, there’s something sure in him about this. All through the long Winter, the pair of them kept so close and working hand in hand, he’s come to know that there’s no comparison to her kindness, to how cared for and respected she makes him feel. She doesn’t mock his appearance, didn’t sneer at his broken English. Didn’t even balk at his dual nature. To her, he’s a man like any other: nothing to be feared, to look down upon.

And he wants nothing more than to stay by that kindness. To keep it safe.

...he wants to marry her.

...but will she have him? It’s one thing to treat him this way, but...does she love him as he so ardently loves her?

...he doesn’t know. But he has to try.

So he emerges from the shop once again penniless...but with a simple silver band dotted with an opal. Nothing flashy, but...he can’t help but feel she’ll like it all the same.

But before he can give it to her...he has to be sure of something.

“Can I...ask you something…?”

Closing down the shop for the day, Ryū turns to him curiously. “Of course.”

He fiddles with his shirt. “...are you…? Do I…? Er…” A pause to gather his thoughts. “...does my...nature frighten you…?”

She blinks, considering him. “...you mean...what you are?”

A nervous nod.

“Of course not. I have no reason to be afraid of you, Obito. You’re the gentlest, most gentlemanly man I know. Even if there’s a wolf under your skin, that doesn’t frighten me.”

“Even if you...never see it?”

Since his arrival, Obito has never Shifted back. He’s been human since he woke up in her bed.

Ryū heaves a small sigh. “...go on, then.”

“Wh-?”

“Change. I’ll prove I’m not afraid of you, Obito.”

He balks, not expecting this. “...er…” Looking around, he slips past a door and disrobes, not wanting to tear his garments. And then he changes, maintaining an upright form. Peering around the doorframe, he manages to squeeze through, tail tucked nervously between his legs.

As she promised, there’s no fear in her eyes. Instead, Ryū approaches, considering him curiously. Over his scars, white fur has grown rather than black. A hand reaches and brushes along it, making him shiver. “...now why would I be afraid of this?” she murmurs. “You’re just an overgrown pup.”

His ears pin down in embarrassment.

That earns a warm smile. “...I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. But...you’re still you, y’know. What you look like doesn’t change that. Though I think my ceilings are a little low for you this way, aren’t they?”

A pause, and then he nods as she chuckles.

“Does that ease your worry, then?”

Another nod.

“...good.”

He has nothing left to fear.

Still, he waits just a little longer. Until a beautiful night with a full moon.

Going out the back door in the dark to toss some rubbish, Ryū comes up short with a gasp. In his four-legged form, Obito stands just outside the light.

“You startled me!” she chastises with a laugh.

He just stares.

“...what?”

Obito gives a dip of his head, shifting a bit in place.

Her brow furrows. “...you want me to see something?”

Closing the gap between them, he gives her a nudge, turning his side to her and crouching.

Understanding makes her eyes go wide. “...oh…” Carefully, she slips up over his back, marveling at the feeling of his fur. “...well, now wh-?”

Standing, he turns...and then runs.

A surprised cry gets stuck in her throat, hanging on for dear life as Obito races through town, a shadow in the moonlit street. But once the shock fades, her heart grows light and giddy.

Well this is...new…!

Out into the countryside he races, grinning wolfishly as she laughs into the wind. Miles disappear beneath him. And he only stops once he reaches an old, looming oak tree he remembers from his travels.

Ryū slips from his back, legs jelly-like as she giggles. “Wow...that was…!” But as she turns...he’s gone. “...Obito?”

“H-here!” Finishing redressing with clothes stashed behind the trunk, he gives a sheepish grin. “The one downside, heh.”

She just laughs again. “So...what possessed you to make off with me in the middle of the night?”

...okay. It’s now or never. Obito’s expression sobers, and Ryū’s head tilts curiously. Gently, he takes both her hands in his own. “...for a while, I was more beast than human,” he begins, trying to remember the speech he’s formed in his head for weeks. “I was...alone. Without a home, or a family. My heart ached. It was sad. So I...I started looking for...something. I wasn’t sure what. When I collapsed on your doorstep, I was so lost. But, you brought me in. You gave me kindness. Gave me everything I had lost the day I became what I am. You never flinched. Never wavered. And I...I have found a home in you. I never want to leave. I…”

All the while, Ryū listens silently, her expression slack with surprise. And as he reaches to a pocket, descending to a knee, her stomach bursts with butterflies.

“...will you let me stay...forever?”

Unbidden, tears bead along her lids, staring as he holds aloft the little silver band. “Oh, Obito…!” A smile blooms across her face, so wide her cheeks protest. “Yes…!”

...he can barely believe it. Shaking hands take her own, carefully putting the ring in place before yipping in surprise as she launches at him, knocking them both over into the grass under the moon.

Before he can react, she presses her lips to his, a pent-up desperation in the act. Face blooming red, he reciprocates once the shock wears off. Arms lift to pin her to him, smiling against her as she giggles giddily.

He swears his chest might burst.

Only once their mess of kisses ends does she sit up, looking down at him with boundless affection. “...seems you’re not a lone wolf anymore, are you…?”

A hand reaches up, burying into the waves at her temple. “...no. Not anymore.”

The sounds of their laughter ring out in the dark, relishing in the newfound joy of their engagement.

And on another hill, watching silently, a silver wolf then slips back into the night.

     ...this turned out SO LONG and I didn’t even include everything I wanted to kdjfhgkdjhg I have a Problem xD      Anywho, this is actually a plot Meg came up with (for the most part) like...months ago that I finally get to write! I’d actually like it to be more fleshed out BUT I’m out of buffer drabbles, so I can’t be getting TOO out of hand (I say when this is almost double my goal word count for these drabbles >w>)      I really like this concept and honestly I wanna RP it really bad now! I’m a sucker for monster AUs (as evident from yesterday’s piece, huehue) so I couldn’t turn this one down xD But for now I have some irl things to get done, so I’ll try and start work on tomorrow’s when that’s done. Especially since I’ll be gone half of tomorrow. The universe just does NOT want me to write kjdfhgkjdfg      Thanks for reading!

[thewritewolf]

Inseparable Chapter 15: Animal Tendencies

Adrien struggles with his newfound knowledge.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

@ladynoirjuly2019

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Marinette - Ladybug - had asked him what he wanted to watch. Somehow, Adrien agreed to a movie. He has no memory of doing so, but since they were laying side by side in her bed, laptop on her lap as the light from the movie illuminated them in the dark, it clearly had to have happened. He risked a glance to the side, aiming to get another look at the incriminating T-shirt.

There were probably other explanations. She was a personal friend of Jagged Stone. Maybe he sent the shirt to her, or maybe she got it because she was such a big fan of his. Adrien had found a way to get it early - it was possible she managed it as well.

Then his eyes traveled up to her face and he felt his heart flip as she laughed at a joke from the movie. Logic flew out the window. There was only one girl who could make him feel this way, even if he had been steadfastly ignoring how he felt around Marinette. A flicker of a smile came to his face when he realized he’d been denying that crush out of a sense of loyalty to her alter ego.

The smile quickly passed as the gravity of the situation crushed him, doubts hounding his every thought.

There was nothing he wanted more than to stay here like this forever. Close together, the space between them practically nothing. His hand was itching to grab hers, so maddeningly close… but he couldn’t do it. Not yet. He felt lost - confused. There were too many unanswered questions right now for him to make any kind of move. Which just left him beside her, yearning to reach out but paralyzed by uncertainty. One movie ended, another began. Just when he had nearly built up the courage to say anything, a knock on the door jolted him back into reality. The world suddenly became more than just him and her.

“Adrien,” Tom’s voice called through the wood of the trapdoor, “A, um, very large, silent man is standing outside the bakery. We think he is your… bodyguard?”

Relief poured down his spine like cold water even as a part of him was sad to leave. He was galvanized into moving for the first time in hours.

“I, uh… I had fun today…” Marinette fidgeted with her hands as he was halfway down the ladder. Even in his turmoil he stopped to smile softly at her shyness. “Maybe we can…” She waved her hand at the laptop, “...again, sometime?”

A long moment passed before he registered that he needed to respond. “Oh! Y-yeah, I’d like that.” Another pause as they watched each other, words hanging unsaid in the air between them. “I’d better get going.”

“R-right, of course.”

“The Gorilla is waiting…”

“Mmhm, yup.”

“...But I’ll see you at school. Later.”

“Yes! Later is good.”

“And probably after school. Since we, uh, we have a project to do.” He hated that he was rambling but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He didn’t want to leave her, but he couldn’t stay either.

“Lots of work to do on that project.”

“So… bye?”

“Y-yeah. Night good!” She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. “Good night,” she repeated, slowly.

He nodded and shut his mouth. He awkwardly climbed down her ladder in silence and left the bakery after a few words of thanks to her parents. The Gorilla was characteristically silent as he drove Adrien to the Agreste estate before leaving for home himself. There was no one to greet him when he got home, so he shambled off to his room in silence.

At least, until they reached the privacy of his room and Plagg emerged from Adrien’s bag.

“Well, well, well,” Plagg said while rubbing his paws together with a nearly malicious glee. “Looks like lover boy has made a discovery.”

Adrien sat down on the side of his bed. “Marinette is Ladybug.” Somehow, saying it out loud made it feel all the more real.

“Marinette is Ladybug,” Plagg nodded.

“I’m in love with Ladybug.”

His kwami sighed. “You’ve made that abundantly clear, kid.”

“...I’m in love with Marinette.”

“Because she is Ladybug? Or was there something there before?” When Adrien opened his mouth to speak, Plagg hushed him. “And be honest!”

Rubbing the back of his head, Adrien struggled to find a response. “Well, I… now that I think about it I guess you could say that I… but…”

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, kid. Out with it! This isn’t that difficult.”

“I… love her.” He let out a wistful sigh. “I guess I always did.”

“Great. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, how are you going to break the news to Pigtails?”

“I don’t know, Plagg… This changes everything!”

“Okay kid now you’ve lost me again. Didn’t we just cover that you definitely like this girl? What does this change?”

Adrien began pacing, nervously adjusting his ring as he did so. “Well, Ladybug was always kind of a long shot. She’s just so confident and courageous and beautiful. But I love her and I was hoping she’d be willing to give me a chance.” He stopped and looked at Plagg with a look of anguish. “But Marinette? She is definitely out of my league.”

“What.” Plagg stared at him incredulously.

“Marinette is kind, caring, creative. She could impress my father and Chloe’s mother with her work. There are lifelong designers that couldn’t do that! I can't impress my father! She’s personal friends with Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale. Everyone loves her - including me, apparently. And apparently she is Ladybug on top of it all. How can I possibly measure up to that?”

Plagg tried his best to face palm with his paws. “You’re a model? And the son of her favorite designer? And you’re Chat Noir?! Does none of this ring a bell to you?”

“I didn’t choose to be a model, or who my parents were. Besides, Marinette isn’t shallow - that’s not the sort of thing she would be interested in. And clearly being Chat Noir doesn’t matter since she… doesn’t…” His eyes widened with sudden realization. “She doesn’t love Chat Noir.” He crumbled onto the bed, hands buried in his hair.

“Woah, woah, kid.” Plagg landed on his shoulder. “Don’t sell yourself short - you’ve got plenty to offer.” Adrien sniffled and looked up. “You’re a sweet kid, and we both know that counts a lot to Pigtails. And you know Ladybug was turning Chat down for someone else - maybe that someone else was you all along?”

Adrien looked to the side, away from his kwami, as he felt the sting of tears. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I mean, yeah. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” Plagg zoomed in front of Adrien. “Listen, kid. You can go ahead and keep this to yourself for now, if you want. But you’ve got a patrol with her tonight, don’t you? You’ve got to decide what you’re gonna do when you see her.”

He brushed aside his tears and laid down on his bed. “I don’t know,” he whispered into the vast emptiness of the room. “Nothing, for now. I won’t let her be disappointed in me just because of how I’m feeling. She deserves that much while I get my act together.”

“Kid, I can tell you that I’m sure everything will work out fine. Go ahead and take some you time. I’ll be over here, with uncomplicated cheese and no heartache.”

“Thanks, Plagg.”

------------------------

Marinette landed on a rooftop wholly unremarkable except for the view of the moonlit Seine. The patrol wasn’t going great. Sure, they were covering ground like never before, but only because Chat Noir was being uncharacteristically bashful and quiet. Everytime he caught her staring concernedly at him, he’d blush and look away. It was a far cry from the sly alley cat she’d come to know. The stark difference had almost made her think that there was some akuma nonsense at work.

Now, she was fairly sure she was just dealing with a sad kitten. While that raised questions all on its own, it was at least something that she knew just how to handle.

“Okay, Chat,” she said, putting her hands on her hips, “this looks like as good a spot as any.”

Hesitantly, he shot her a curious glance. “Good spot for what?”

“Training, of course.”

“Ah.” He settled back into his glumness, but took a defensive position.

Instead of taking out her yoyo like he no doubt expected, she kept her hands behind her back and took a few steps towards him. His confusion grew until she entered his personal space and he put both hands on his baton and leaned back, his face a red, flustered mess. She smiled and poke his nose.

“Tag. You’re it.”

And just like that, she had run away. Without looking behind her, she could feel Chat chasing her. It had been too long since they had fun on their patrols, and she knew that he could use the distraction. Besides, he wasn’t the only one who can stand to get things off their mind for a little while. She replayed her time with Adrien earlier that day over and over - whether it was in the comfort of her own head, or dissecting everything with Tikki, she felt like it was an important milestone with them. They might not have made much progress with their school project, but she’d never felt closer to Adrien.

Stolen glances confirmed that her plan was working. Worry had melted from his face, leaving only the joy of the hunt. It was just like when they had first taken up the mantle of superheroes, still exploring the boundaries of their powers. Not that there still wasn’t things they didn’t know - these recent… hiccups with their abilities proved that. But now Marinette felt the weight of her responsibilities on her shoulders, a weight she had only managed to bear this long with Chat’s silliness to keep her sane. If he needed a little of that now, then she was happy to help.

The chase lasted long enough that even her superhuman endurance was running thin. She landed and held up her hands in surrender.

“Okay, kitty, you got me. Can we take a break now? My legs feel like jelly.”

He flashed her a warm smile, her reward for a long run. “Heh. Same here.”

He sat down, leaning against a chimney. She found a spot next to him and before long, mutual exhaustion and the cold had them leaning against each other. She snuggled against him, resting her head against his shoulder. It worried her that he froze for a moment afterward, but soon his head was resting on hers and he’d snaked an arm around her waist. They’d grown close during their long war against Hawkmoth. Personal space had been thrown out the window ages ago, a casualty of cold winter patrols and the close calls of a fight.

Her eyelids became heavy as she got lost in her partner’s warmth. What jolted her awake was a strange rumbling coming from inside her chest. Instantly, she pulled away from her partner, who she noticed was gawking at her in disbelief.

That shock faded quickly, replaced by a wide grin. “Did you just… purr?”

“N-nope!” She lied, unconvincingly.

“That was adorable!” He scrambled closer to her, eyes sparkling. “Do it again!”

“I don’t want to,” she complained. Their little side effects of having their miraculous had been floating freely between them, but she thanked her lucky stars that it hadn’t swapped their powers again. She still needed to speak with Master Fu, but unless she found some time to speak with him outside their schedules, she wouldn’t be seeing him until next week. In the meantime, she’d just have to deal with it.

“C’mon, please? Just one more? You make me do it all the time.”

“Once. I had you purr on command once and you complained the whole time since you found it so embarrassing.”

“Yeah, so that means you owe me one, right?”

Rolling her eyes, Marinette took out her yo-yo. “Good night, chaton.”

“I don’t think I will now.” He crossed his arms and looked away, but Marinette could see his tail sweeping back and forth contently. He was feeling happier, at least. That was all she could really hope for.

“Oh? Is that what you want your last words to me tonight to be?”

There was a pause. He sighed and looked back at her, pouting. “Good night, m’lady.”

“There’s a good kitty. See you later!”

She was too far away to hear Chat Noir sigh under his breath. “Sooner than you think…”

[tayegi]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (That's how that last chapter of NR made me feel.) I just thought you would like to know how brutally my heart has been ripped to shreds and I thank you for it. I am so excited to find out what Jungkook's deal is.

Anonymous said:LUUU NEW RULES CH 11 HURT ME SO BAD OMMNNBGGGGGGGG FUCKIDKCUDKC WTF IS WRONG WIT JUNGKOOK

Anonymous said:Chapter 11 is out...WHAT THE ACTUAL FCK. I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW😭💜

bangtantannie said:Oh my god the New Rules update got me FUCKED UP AHAHSJ i screamed when i saw the notif and my heart goes out to the reader, especially when her and Mijoo were comforting Yerin. I gotta say I've had a few of those moments in my life and i had the same exact thought process

Anonymous said:i feel like IDGAF by Dua Lipa could be the theme song for the next chapter cos by then the oc wouldn't care anymore and cut off jk's coward coconut bitch ass uwu. anyway I love the new update! I was crying during the first part bec it was so heartbreaking and im on my red days lmao 😣😝 and when i learned bout yoongi's reason for doing wut he did i was shookt but it was valid tho and acceptable. the soft part after that was so cute tho. im gon continue this in a 2nd ask bec tumblr sucks

Anonymous said:I actually LOVE angst so much and you did it PERFECTLY - the mystery, the underlying story, the hidden pain, sacrifice, false front, and RAW RAW FEELINGS HNG i’m hurting so bad in all the right ways and i am so obsessed I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE THOUGHT AND LAYERS YOU PUT INTO IT; you have SUCH a beautiful brain

Anonymous said:JESUS NEW RULES IS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER. Lu, I love how realistic all of your storylines are, how you make the characters feel real, and how you channel their emotions. This whole chapter was just wOW, SHIT WENT DOWN. I’m excited (and hella nervous) to see what becomes of the OC and Jungkook now that the confrontation has occurred. Love you Lu!~💖

Anonymous said:nr oc @ jk: boy bye im not available for the emotionally unavailable so sayonara coconut btch

Anonymous said:Lu... you did it, I'm about to cry, I'm glad my mascara and eyeliner are waterproof. Just the masked emotion of jk "not wanting a relationship" is fuckin palpable, like he acts as if lashing out on the OC will make her hate him, but she knows damn well they like /like/ each other, and w the society we r in, it's easy to shift blame on oc for "catching feelings" bc that's typically "what women do" but JK is so vulnerable w her so SHFJHSHD this ch was muy bueno, ily lu-🍑 anon

bangtandumbyeondan said:Every chapter of New Rules leaves me on edge and I love it but it also makes me screeeeeam because I never want it to end haha I really enjoy the whole series a lot thanks for writing it 🌼

Anonymous said:I'm sure your asks are flooded rn but iahcjsjfak MAN. I had to put my phone down like 6 times while reading this due to shock, secondhand embarrassment, and anger lmao I was feeling as crushed as if I was the one shot down oaudisjf I really admire the oc for standing her ground in that situation. I'm really rooting for her! awesome chapter, thanks as always lu xx

Anonymous said:NR 11 was so fucking lit wow, you consistently blow my mind every damn time. Tell them OC tell them!!! Toxic masculinity needs to go!!! Devaluing emotions need to go!!! Take! That! Trash! Out!

Anonymous said:just finished reading chapter 11 and now im in shambles 😭 i just want to hug the oc and tell her everything will be okay 💖

Anonymous said:The rollercoaster of emotions that this chapter produced was so raw. Having an amazing plotline like this is not super complex (like fantasy) but so intune to human emotions as the central point is amazing. You capture real human feelings of jealousy, pain, heartbreak and angst so fucking well, and I feel that I am part of this story. Thank you for gifting us with your writing Lu!

Anonymous said:that last line of dialogue... i am deceased

Anonymous said:Every since that "not like she left me" from JK i wonder if it is about his mother, and this chapter when OC talks about their mothers not raising them quite well i got that feeling again ughhhh I want to know so baaaad !!! this chapter really clenched my heart lu you are so goooooodddd thank you thank you thank youu i love you so much!

Anonymous said:you've broken my heart and crushed my windpipe with that new rules chapter. thank you so much for taking the precious time out of your life to write such an emotionally charged and thoughtfully written series, i am actually screaming. love you, lu. ♥

Anonymous said:your writing is so amazing:’) ugh my heart hurts from new rules but i love the paiN

Anonymous said:I FREAKIIINNNNNGGGGGG LOVE THE NEW CHAPTER OF NEW RULES MY HEART HURTS BUT ALSO I LOVE THE ANGST THAT LAST BIT WHERE SHE SAID "BECAUSE IT WILL BE SO EASY TO GET OVER YOU!" I CAN'T EVEN CONTAIN MYSELF IT JUST DESTROYED MY HEART SO DELICIOUSLY

Anonymous said:im having an aneurysm??? go OFF oc!! i know she may not necessarily be entirely right, but the ending scene really spoke to me as a woman who was gaslighted by an ex for a year after the relationship ended in much the same manner. i also really appreciated how you wrote the oc’s response to yoongi coming out both in character and sensitively. i want more yoongi and oc interactions now!! it seriously made me cry. your writing always makes me emotional in the best way

Anonymous said:jungkook has me very confused and i kinda wanna punch him in the nose for it, but those feelings are quite appreciated as it speaks to how highly intricate you've woven the story so far. i'm looking forward to when everything about his behaviour finally makes sense. until then, keep up the amazing work, lu. you're doing great! ^-^

acucarebiscoito said:"He doesn't love you. He'll never love you. No man has ever loved you before, and how could you have possibly thought that someone like Jeon Jungkook could've ever returned your feelings?" You got me here, I REALLY started to cry my eyes out. It hits to close home I cant even order my thoughts right now. It was perfect, every second. Thank you so much Lu, like always you are amazing and you gave me so much to reflect about myself. Thank you 💖💖

Omg you guys all have such intense reactions to ch 11. this makes me so happy! ive seriously had the scene of the OC running into the frat house and telling Jungkook off planned in my mind since ch 2, and ive been stewing over it for literally a fucking YEAR, so to see that it worked out and ppl feel so strongly is amazing. thank you bbs

[a-memory-of]

Two slow thuds pounded against the heavy wooden doors of Ellere's estate. The sun had long set, so a visitor may have seemed strange at this hour. While waiting, Ruran Vas leaned against the doorframe. His armor was dented in places, his posture weary, and sweat had stuck his hair to his neck and forehead. He was not on the verge of collapse though. Not yet.

Ellere Valahan had been making some tea to put in some work for the evening when the knocks at her door sounded. Blinking, she tried to recall if she had been expecting anyone. She took the kettle off the flame, setting it aside before moving to answer. There was a smile in greeting on her face, ready, but that slipped the instant she took in the sight. "Ruran... Twelve."

Ruran bowed his head in greeting, still formal despite his state. "I a-apologize for the hour," he murmured. His gloved hand lifted to wipe his brow, which prompted a slight wince. "R-ran into some trouble, and...might need some healing... O-or rest, and...and you were near..." He was injured, though the armor made it unclear where, yet he still was hesitant to disturb her evening.

She quickly moved to usher him inside, moving to allow him to lean on her as needed. Kicking the door shut with her heel, she led him to one of the couches. She was not about to try and get him up or down a flight of stairs. "I shall smack you if you apologize again. 'Tis no trouble, you're not bothering, and I would much rather you come to me than wander around like this." She seemed quick to cover all he might say, well-practiced as she was.

Ruran could walk well enough, even if he swayed for the first few steps. He had reached for her shoulder for the start, but was able to shamble his way to the couch. "Th...the thought had crossed my mind, to simply find a bridge to rest beneath..." He eased himself onto the couch. "B-but I am...trying to be better about that." Closer observation would reveal that there was blood near his pauldron, easily lost with all the other signs of battle marring his armor.

Ellere gave him a look at that. "Please, no bridges." She stepped forward to offer to help with the fastenings of his armor, starting with where the she saw the blood. "You're bleeding. I'm afraid a rest in the shade would have done you little good. Where else is there pain?"

He glanced down at her hands as she unfastened the armor. He tried to roll his shoulder, and let out a quiet sound of pain. "Sh-sharpness in the shoulder, dull pain throughout." He had gotten used to describing his pain to healers. "I--I was...tossed about a bit." He worked to unfasten his armor and remove the cumbersome plates so that she could get a better look. 

Once it was off, she would find three puncture wounds at his shoulder--something had bit him. The fourth fang had met his pauldron and left a unsightly dent in the metal. Fortuntally, all the wound had missed the important runic scars on his skin, keeping the designs intact.

She stared at the wound a moment, quiet, as she set aside the pauldron. Giving him a look over once the rest of the armor was off to check for further injury, she nodded, "Wait here, sugar. I'll be back with my things." 

She hurried downstairs, collecting a tome and some potions before moving back up to the main floor. A quick stop in the kitchen added warm, wet towels, thanks to the kettle that had been on, to her armful. Ellere sat beside him, pulling the table closer by hooking her foot around a leg. Offering him a small bottle first, she set the rest aside on the table. "Should dull the ache, for now. I shall give you something stronger should you need help sleeping later."

Ruran glanced to his wound and sucked in a breath. His armor had ensured that whatever big him hadn't been able to dig too deep, but they stung. He received the bottle with a small nod, tipping his mask up to drain its contents. His handy sliding mask was still being repaired, and he had to resort to his usual mask in the meantime. Almost instantly, he felt a slight numbing sensation at his shoulder. "D-do I need to take the rest off?"

Ellere shook her head, "So long as you can assure me there is nothing else like this hiding under the rest." Placing a hand over his shoulder, she eased a spell over it to further ease the pain before she took to cleaning it with the warm cloth. "Where did you find this one, hm? Looks like it was quite strong to get such a lock on you."

"Not that I can tell," he murmured to her first statement. His shoulder had seen the brunt of it, though he was likely bruised in various places. "N-not far. One of the farmers at Summerford had a--" He winced slightly as the warm water flooded his wounds. The potion was kicking in and helping, over time. "--a problem. A voidsent preying on their workers. It was...wolf-like."

She gave a small hushed apology as she worked, feeling the wince. "So close... despite the work we do, it is not something I shall ever be used to, it seems. Thinking such a creature could be all but right down the road." With the wounds relatively clean, she reached for another potion to dab over them, making sure she would not be sealing anything foul inside.

Ruran's soulstone flickered; it would ensure that no aetheric corruption would linger through the bite. Other infection, however, would be dealt with by the ointment. "Th-there are some even closer. They will use any opportunity and place to fester..."

Ellere reached for the tome next, resting a hand over it as she worked aether through the shoulder to close the punctures and heal the damaged muscle. She gave a quiet hum, "'Tis why the world needs more people like you. You are but one man, albeit one very stubborn man, but still just one."

His skin began to knit, always a strange sensation. His head canted, and he looked towards the table. "More like me..? I--I hardly doubt the world needs more reckless, thick-headed men like me, Ellere."

Ellere blew out a breath through her nose, a small laugh escaping, "Perhaps not. But it does need more of the brave and noble sort. And like it or not, 'tis a part of you, too." 

With @weepingknight

[ladywinchester1967]

When Love and Hate Collide.

Summary: With her life in shambles; reader encounters Dean Winchester for the first time in years. When he makes her an offer to take the pain away and she gives in, will either of them make it out alive?

Pairing: MOC!Dean x Demon!Reader (mentions of a previous relationship)

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader (Y/N= your name), Tommy (OC), Doug (OC), Abaddon (mentioned), Rowena (mentioned).

Rating/Warnings: R/ SMUT, mentions of cheating, drinking, language, blood sharing, blood drinking, cutting, unprotected sex (wrap your wacker kids). This shit is DARK; Like pits of hell dark. Unbeta’d all mistakes belong to me.

Trigger warning: this doesn’t depict a healthy relationship AT ALL. If reading that type of stuff upsets you in anyway, please don’t go any further. Also if I tagged you and things like this upset you; please tell me!

Author’s Note: I’ve been writing and reading fan fiction for a long, long time and haven’t mustered up the courage to post any of it. However, I decided to post this one and I hope you guys like it! It’s part of a mini-series that I’m currently in the process of writing, I’ll post updates as soon as I finish them. Feedback/ constructive criticism is appreciated but please be kind.  

TAGS *if you want to be untagged, let me know*: @sis-tafics @mrswhozeewhatsis @winchesterenthusiast @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @impala-dreamer @queen-of-deans-booty @evansrogerskitten @littlegreenplasticsoldier @salvachester @luci-in-trenchcoats @charliebradbury1104 @anotherwaywardsister @just-another-winchester

*Part 1: Sinner*

Bend me, shape me, misdirect me;

It's all the same to me.

You look at me but you don't see,

Understand I'm a sinner. - Drowning Pool

She strode into the bar and made a beeline for her usual seat.

“Hey Y/N,” the bartender, Tommy, greeted her. “The usual?”

Y/N shook her head

“Make it a double” Y/N told him. 

Tommy didn’t say anything, her poured the drink and slid it her way. She quickly downed it and asked for another. She slowly sipped the next one, zoning out into the white noise of her own head.

“Y/N?” a deep, familiar voice asked.

She looked up and nearly spat out her drink.

“DEAN?!” She asked, taking him in.

It had been years since they had last seen each other, his dark blonde hair was longer on the top and he had more scruff on his face, he looked like he had more muscles, but the one thing that hadn’t changed were his startling green eyes; they were like a forest in springtime.

Y/N slid off her barstool and gave him a hug. He felt the same, smelled the same; but something was different. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. He pulled back, his hands on her hips.

“What brings you to this neck of the woods?” She asked, her hands still on his shoulders.

“Just passing through,” he said “mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.” She said and they released one another.

They idly chatted while they drank; work and the weather, nothing too deep.

Until they started getting drunk that is. Dean had always been easy to talk to, he had always been honest and had actually listened to what she had to say.

“How’s married life treating you?” Dean asked.

A dark look came over Y/N’s face and she said

“Nothing to report.” as she knocked her drink back. Dean raised an eyebrow at her.

“Nothing to report?” He asked “I thought what’s his name?”

“Doug.” She said

“Doug was the greatest thing since sliced cheese?” He asked and she laughed. He’d missed that laugh; it brought back happy memories.

“He was,” she said and finished off the rest of her drink “until I caught him banging his secretary.”

Dean’s eyes widened

“And his yoga instructor,” she went on “AND our real estate agent.”

Dean’s jaw his the floor

“Seriously?” He asked

“As a heart attack,” she said “caught all four of them in our bed.” She flashed him a thumbs up. “Good times.”

“When did this happen?” He asked

She thought back and asked Tommy

“When did I find that out? Like six months ago?”

Tommy nodded

“Yep, right around the time Cindy gave birth.” Tommy said, referring to his girlfriend.

“So yeah, six months ago and there’s a nasty divorce ahead.” Y/N said and knocked back the rest of her drink.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Dean asked

“And say what?” Y/N asked and held up an imaginary phone “Oh hey Dean, I know we haven’t talked in 3 years by the way, I’m living my personal hell, how’s Kansas?”

Dean chuckled and said

“Always with the self deprecating humor.”

“Because if I don’t laugh, I’m gonna fucking cry.” She said

“You still could’ve called me, I would’ve at least broken his nose for you or something.” Dean said with a shrug.

“I beat you to that, sorry.” Y/N said with a satisfied grin.

“Or something else then.” he said looking over the rim of his glass at her, his eyebrows shooting up in a suggestive manner.

Y/N chuckled

“Yeah, okay sure.” She said

“I’m serious Y/N,” Dean said “THAT was always good with us.”

“Better than good,” Y/N answered “I remember the words “mind blowing” getting thrown around a couple of times.”

Dean shrugged

“Yeah, that did happen.” He said

How could she forget? Their time as a couple had been brief and worth forgetting, the sex; however, seemed to be permanently seared into her brain. When she needed some “alone time,” which was a lot since Doug barely wanted to touch her, she’d go back to those times with Dean and get lost in them. The memory of being bent over the hood of his 1967 Chevy Impala one starry night came back and she grinned.

“Yeah, I remember that night too.” He said.

“What night?” She asked, she hadn’t said anything out loud, or at least she was sure she hadn’t.

“In the field during the meteor shower?” He asked “I can see it, plain as day in your head.”

“How do you know what’s rattling around in my noggin?” She asked, shocked.

“Let’s just say that my hair isn’t the only thing that’s changed.” he said, his perfect mouth curling into his legendary sexy smile. He placed a hand gently on her knee and leaned forward, his mouth close to her ear.

“You wanna get outta here, wildling?” He asked, his breath sending little puffs on to her ear, making her shutter.

He’d called her by the nickname he’d given her because of how wild they could get together. She pulled back and grinned at him.

“Yeah.” She said and slapped forty bucks on the bar. “For me and him Tommy, keep the change.” Y/N told the bar tender as she and Dean got up. He took her hand in his, leading her out of the bar.

Once they were securely in Dean’s motel room, he pounced on her. He slammed her back against the door. He pressed his pelvis into her, his denim clad erection pushing into her stomach.

“Mh, you’re ready.” She commented.

“I’ve been ready for you since the second I saw you that bar,” he said, taking her wrists and pinning them above her head. “The last two fucking hours has been extended foreplay.”

She could feel the body heat rolling off of him, his familiar scent wrapping around her.

“Fuck it.” she decided and leaned in, smashing her lips against his. It felt like the Fourth of July, her birthday and New Years Eve all at once. This was what a passionate kiss was supposed to be, full of lust and heat. He opened his mouth and kissed her again, his tongue swiping across her teeth. She opened up and let him in, his tongue exploring her mouth. Her tongue met his and his hands gripped her wrists tightly.

“God damn baby,” he said breathlessly when the kiss ended “When was the last time you got laid?”

“It’s been a while okay?” She said as he released her and she looked away.

“How long Y/N?” He asked

She bit her lip and looked up at him.

“Like three months.” she told him

Dean grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the bed. He picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

“I’ll fix that.” He said and laid her on her back, the bed dipping as she landed on it with a soft “oof!”

They were all hands and mouths this time as he was on his knees and elbows above her; his hands tangled in her hair and hers running up and down his back. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and off of him, throwing it aside. His bare torso looked better in person than in her memory, an audible sigh falling from her mouth.

“Your ex must be blind and stupid,” he growled in her ear as he laid half on top of her “if I had you waiting for me at home, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you, let alone look at another woman.”

“Show me Dean.” She said in a tone that she barely recognized as her own as he kissed her neck, her hand running through the hair on the back of his head.

He bit down on her neck and she cried out, squirming under him. He let out a dark chuckle, sat up a little bit and without warning, ripped her dress open. The ruined fabric fell away from her body revealing a black, lacy bra and pink panties. He groaned as he sat up on his knees and took her in.

“Better than I remember.” He said, his hand roamed over her curves, his calloused hands were warm and strong on her soft skin.

“Dean, please!” She begged as he flattened his hands on her sides.

“Be patient baby,” he said, his hands sliding over her hips and down her thighs, then back up again “I’m gonna make it worth your while.”

She knew he always made good on his promises, especially where sex was concerned, so she nodded. He opened her legs wide and groaned again.

“Fuck, you’re wet all ready.” he said and picked up one of her legs, throwing it over his shoulder. He kissed the inside of her knee and up her inner thigh, the stubble on his face scratching her sensitive skin, making her back arch. He picked up her other leg and did the same thing, when he got to the apex of her thighs, he quickly slid her panties off and tossed them aside. He laid down between her legs, his mouth inches from her dripping core.

“Mhhh,” he moaned and licked a thick stripe from her opening to her clit, making her squirm “you taste even better than I remember.” He said, his mouth closing over her clit and sucking on it. Her hands were immediately in his hair as she whined, his tongue flicking through her folds as she cried out

“Oh god, yes!”

“That’s it baby,” he encouraged her “yell for me.”

His tongue wound circles around her clit as he slid two fingers easily inside of her. His tongue flicked over her clit as he slowly pumped his fingers into her. He closed his mouth over her clit and sucked on it, making her writhe.

“Ohhhhh god, Dean, don’t stop, please don’t stop.” She begged him, the chord in her stomach winding tight as she started to get lightheaded.

“You want to come for me sweetheart?” He asked, his thumb sliding up and making circles on her clit, making a high pitched cry come out of her along with a stream of swears and his name. “Come on baby, come. Come for me.” He made the come here motion with the fingers inside of her, making the chord in her belly snap as a loud scream ripped through her. He worked her through the orgasm, drawing it out for all she was worth. She laid back, panting as he sucked her slick off his thumb. He held his middle and forefingers up to her mouth and said 

“Suck”

She grabbed his wrist and took his fingers into her mouth, sucking her own slick off of them, making him groan. She swore his eyes went black from being so lust blown, but her mind had been known to play tricks on her, so she ignored it. She swirled her tongue around his fingers and then sucked on them hard.

“Holy fuck.” Dean said quietly and pulled his hand away from her mouth. He quickly took his pants and underwear off while she unhooked her bra and tossed it to the side. With both of them naked, Dean crawled on top of her and laid her on her back.

“What do you want?” He asked, smoothing her hair out of her face.

“To forget,” she told him, her hands running up his strong, bare arms. “To forget my husband has been fooling around on me during our entire marriage. Help me forget Dean.”

Without a word, Dean placed a passionate kiss on her lips and easily slid inside her.

“My name is gonna be the only one you scream now.” He told her, holding his hips still inside her “I can’t get you out of my head Y/N, and I know you think about me when you’re all alone. You want me, I want you.” He slowly started to move his hips, slowly and deliciously. “You. Are. Mine.” He said and snapped his hips into her, punctuating each word with a thrust. 

Y/N screamed out, her nails digging into his shoulders.

“Say it Y/N.” Dean commanded and her eyes met his. 

His expression was full of dominance and lust, making a shutter run down her spine. “I’m-“ She stammered “I’m-AAAH!-I’m yours Dean, all yours!”

“Such a good girl,” he said and kissed her hard “You always were good for me.” He commented as he moved his hips faster. 

She dug her nails into his back and dragged them down, making him groan.

“Yes, yes,” he moaned in her ear and gave it a bite. She cried out and he moved his hips faster.“Oh fuck, fuck!” She yelled “Dean, I’m gonna come!”

“Come sweetheart,” he said in her ear and bit down on her shoulder, making her scream as she exploded around him, her nails digging into his back again and her vision going white for a few seconds. He gripped her hair hard and cried out loudly, almost sounding like a roar, as he finished inside of her and stilled. He rolled off of her and on to his back, his hand still tangled in her hair as they both caught their breath. 

“Holy shit.” She said quietly and he chuckled. He rolled over to his stomach and they lazily kissed. His free hand cupped her face as they kissed; she placed her hand over his and gave his lip a playful bite. He pulled back and gave her a panty busting smirk.

“Naughty.” He said and booped the her nose. 

They both tugged their underwear on and moved to lay under the covers, her head on his chest and her hand skimming over his skin. He had one hand in her hair while the other ran up and down her back. Her eyes drifted down and saw what looked like a burn on his inner right arm. It was in the shape of upside down L with hash marks next to it.

“What happened?” She asked and nodded to the mark.

“Remember when I said my hair wasn’t the only thing that was different?” He asked and lightly tugged on her hair so she was looking up at him. She nodded and he went on “to make a long, bloody and complicated story short, it’s the Mark of Cain.”

“Cain?” She asked “like Cain and Abel?”

He nodded “He gave it to me, I died and came back.” he blinked and there was no mistaking it now, his beautiful green eyes were pitch black. “As a demon.”

She furrowed her eyebrows.

“But, there’s no such thing.” She said “After you left, I stopped believing in that.” His eyes returned to their normal green and he said

“That was me, I did that to protect you.”

“I don’t understand.” She said and sat up, gathering the sheet around her chest. He sat up too and asked

“Haven’t you ever wondered why you can’t remember our relationship? Why the only thing that stands out is the sex?”

“Because it was that good?” She asked “we weren’t together that long Dean.”

“Yes we were,” he said “a year and a half.”

Her heart rate increased as she gripped the sheet. She thought hard, but nothing other than a few romps in the hay came back to her.

“You can think as hard as you want,” he said “but that’s all you can remember for a reason.”

She stared at him; confused, scared and hurt.

“What did you do to me?!” She demanded. 

He sighed, dragged his bottom lip between his teeth and then spoke.

“When I left, I was on a Knight of Hell’s shit list.” He explained “She was torturing anyone and everyone I cared about to get information on me. So, to keep you safe, I asked a witch who owed me a favor to cast a spell. Something that would change your memories of our relationship into what looked like casual encounters.” She stared at him and he continued “Haven’t you ever wondered why you never take the ring on your middle finger off?” He asked.

She looked down at her right hand; the thin silver band with runes engraved on it looked back at her.

“Because my Mom gave it to me for my sweet sixteen.” She answered and he shook his head.

“That’s the spell,” he said, tapping the ring with his finger “the witch, Rowena, enchanted it so even if Abbadon, the Knight of Hell, got a hold of you, all she would be able to see is what you could remember, which is just sex; nothing of use to her.”

She stared at him, she was somewhere between terrified and thinking that he had lost his mind.

“I know you think I’m crazy,” he said and tapped his temple “perk of being a demon, I can see what’s going on in your head. If you take the ring off, you’ll remember everything.”

“I can’t take it off.” she said instantly and he smirked.

“Another defense mechanism,” He said “gotta give Rowena credit, she knew what she was doing when she cast this spell.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, the memories of her relationship and marriage to Doug cycling through her head like a slide show. The loneliness, the heart break, the self doubt; it all started to hurt.

“Fuck.” She said and wiped away a tear that had fallen down her face.

“I can see everything that happened to you since I left,” he said “had I known then what I know now, I would’ve found another way to keep you safe.”

“I don’t want you to keep me safe.” She told him, her breaths coming quickly. “I’m tired of getting hurt, I let Doug walk all over me and where did that get me? Divorced at twenty-eight that’s where.” She said and Dean’s mouth curled into a smile.

“What if I told you there’s a way to fix that?” He asked “I can make you powerful enough where no one like Doug will hurt you ever again?”

She nodded

“I want it Dean,” she told him “whatever you’re selling, I’m buying it.”

Dean got out of bed and walked over to his pants that were laying on the ground. He fished around in his pocket until he found a small knife he kept on him. He walked back to the bed and sat down, facing her.

“What’re you gonna do? Kill me?” She asked him. He tucked her hair behind her ear, his expression softening.

“No,” he said “I could never kill you Y/N, I can’t so much as lay a finger on you. But I see someone else has.”

Dean could hear the sound of Doug’s open palm going across Y/N’s cheek, feel the sting that it left behind. Y/N’s eyes hardened, trying to push the memories down. Anger flashed across Dean’s face and he made a mental note to make that asshole pay.

“Demons can take mates,” He explained “mostly humans they use for sex or as shields when the shit hits the fan.” He held her face in his hand “but, when a demon takes another demon as their mate, it’s for life.”

“You can turn me into a demon?” She asked and he nodded “How?”

“I’ll feed you my blood,” he said “and we’ll do the binding ritual. That’s quicker than spending eternity in hell torturing souls.”

“Do it.” She told him

“Are you sure?” He asked “because once we do this, there’s no going back. No do overs, no restarts, nothing.”

She stared at him and then at the knife.“I’m sure,” she said “No one will ever hurt me again.”

He nodded, gripped her hair and passionately kissed her. When the kiss was over, he released her hair and held the knife to his wrist. “Wait,” She said, worried and he smirked.

“I can’t die sweetness,” he said “not with this thing on my arm.” His eyes flicked down to the mark. “Already worried about me,” he said with a note of tenderness in his voice “this is why you’re a perfect mate.” He quickly sliced his wrist open, blood trickled down his arm as he held it up to her. “Drink.” He commanded. She took his wrist into her hands, her eyes never leaving his as she pressed her mouth to the wound and began to suck. The iron taste of his blood filled her mouth as she swallowed. It felt like pure evil was seeping into every cell in her body. She sucked harder and swallowed, more blood rolling down her throat, the inky blackness traveling down her body as he gasped.

“That’s it baby, drink.” He told her as she continued. The metallic taste was less shocking by her third gulp, his lips slightly parted as he used his free hand to tuck her stray hair behind her ear. “Good girl,” he cooed “such a good girl for me.” His words, the intimacy of the act, the way he was looking at her; made her panties soak. He bit his lip as she sucked again, drawing more of his blood into her mouth and swallowing it down. Dean could see the change taking place; her posture relaxed, her hair seemed to shine more as her eyes slowly went from y/e/c to a darkened grey. Her tongue slid over his wound only to find that it had closed up.

“More?” She asked as he pulled his wrist away. 

She had some of his blood on the corner of her mouth, which he wiped away with his thumb and held it up for her. She licked it away with the tip of her tongue, making him growl.

“It’s a process baby, and we’re only getting started.” He said and kissed her forehead. When he pulled back, he gave her the knife and said “Your turn.”

“But won’t I-?” She asked and he interrupted

 “Not with my blood in your system,” he said “demon healing factor.”

She nodded and held the knife to her wrist. He stopped her and said

“Use this one,” and tapped his finger on her opposite wrist “I used my left, you use your right. It has to be opposites or it won’t work.”

She nodded and switched the knife to her left hand. Without warning, she was scared.

“Dean,” she breathed as she looked up at him. 

He held her face in his hands.“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he said “I lost you once to protect you, I won’t lose you again. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She said and they kissed, hot and heavy. 

When the kiss ended, she pressed the knife hard into her skin and it tore open, dark red blood poured from the wound as she held it up for him. He took her wrist in his hands and sucked, her blood filling his mouth. He did as she had, drinking until the wound closed; when he was done, he smirked, his eyes flashing black.

“A couple more steps,” he told her “then you’re mine.”

Her lips curled into a sinister grin as his eyes returned to their normal green.

“Do it.” She told him.

He took the knife from her hand, put it aside and turned her left wrist so that it was facing up. He placed his right arm close to her left one and said

“I have to cut us both open,” he drew a line with his pointer and middle fingers down both of their wrists “and say the incantation, when I say, we’ll press our cuts together like this” he pressed his forearm into hers and gripped it with his hand “then we’ll kiss.” She smiled as his eyes then bore into hers “No matter what you hear, see or feel, DO NOT let go of me. Understand?”

She nodded “I won’t let go.” She told him

“Good girl.” He told her, he picked up the knife and began to chant in what sounded like Latin. She watched and waited as he closed his eyes, the words rolling off of his tongue like poetry. He continued to chant as he cut both of their wrists open and said 

“Now Y/N.”

Just like he had shown her, she turned her forearm into his and held it there as she closed her eyes. The air around them seemed to charge with electricity as he continued to chant, their blood mingled as it flowed from their cuts, leaving a tingling and stinging sensation in its wake. She gripped his arm tighter, the sensation going straight to her core, an involuntary moan escaping her lips. He stopped speaking and they kissed; she felt an invisible iron cuff snap over their arms, holding them together while they kissed. She gasped through their kiss and when it ended, he pulled back.

“You felt it too, didn’t you?” He asked and she nodded “that means it’s working.”

They shared a grin as she squirmed, her aching core begging for some kind of friction.

“There’ll be time for that,” Dean said “I promise.”

For a brief second, she could hear her own voice moaning his name.

“You hear that baby?” He asked and she nodded “You can hear what I’m thinking.” She focused on his face and could see into his mind; it was like watching a movie on an extremely dusty television. 

“It’ll get stronger when you’re a full demon.” He told her.

“What’s the last step?” She asked.

His mouth curled upwards into a sinister grin.

“You kill.”

[newtothewaywardparty]

The Ghost of an Idea 6

A/N-So, I’m still very new to writing fan fiction, and I’m not 100% on the formatting, etc. But the last thing I would want to do is inadvertently hurt someone. So some warnings. If you are familiar with the Dickens source text, you’ll know, this chapter is the worst because it has to be the bleakest vision of the future that inspires the character change. So I had to be really, really mean to our boys. I based the vision of Cas on Future!Cas but bleaker. So: implied drug abuse, multiple sexual partners, dubious consent, vampire/blood play, Dominant tones (not like consensual loving D/s dynamic but like Cas is an abusive asshole) I don’t like it but I had to make it so horrible Dean wouldn’t like it either!

Also this is the most explicit thing I’ve ever written and it’s a) horrible and b) not that explicit, but probably a Mature rating? Rated R? YMMV (do the youths on the interwebs still say that?)

Also, it’s like the chapter where Scrooge sees what happens when he dies so, like, major character death? But the good news is, it’s short and it’s temporary (’cause it’s like a dream/vision) and the happy stuff is coming up next! That said, I probably didn’t catch all possible warnings in this series. Proceed with caution. On with the story!

Read Stave One: Bobby’s Ghost, Part 1

Read Stave Two: Bobby’s Ghost, Part 2

Read Stave Two: The First of the Three Spirits, Part 1

Stave Two: The First of the Three Spirits, Part 2

Stave Three: The Second of the Three Spirits

Stave Four: The Last of the Spirits

Billie stalked across the field towards Dean, her face grim. Silent, she stopped an arm’s length from him. Dean swallowed nervously. “So...ghost of Christmas future?” he asked. Billie nodded once, tersely. Wordlessly, she turned and strode away. 

Dean hustled to follow, finding himself strangely unnerved by Billie. He had been in her presence before, but their little ‘talk’ then had been more collegiate. Something about her manner during this rodeo had Dean’s legs trembling in her presence. She was clearly not Billie, here for a chat. This was Death, and don’t you dare forget it, mister.

“C’mon, Billie,” Dean attempted weakly. “I never expected the silent treatment from you, of all the women in my life.” The lame attempt at humor fell like a stone in the freezing air. 

Billie halted so suddenly Dean found himself running into her black leather duster. She turned enough for him to see the whites of her eyes. She jerked her head once, urging him on.“Fine,” Dean muttered. “Let’s get this show on the fucking road” he said, and followed her without further question. 

As they walked, the surrounding wheat field stubble grew and transformed until they walked through the interior of a dive bar. Dean looked at the row of barstools, occupied by plaid-and-boot-clad hunters. Some at the long wooden bar he recognized, others were strangers. 

Billie stopped near a cluster of three men near the jukebox. A stained glass light above them shed a beam of light that made their features harsh and grotesque. Dean drew close to listen.

“No,” said a large man with numerous chins. “I don’t know much about it, either. I just know he’s dead.”

“When did he die” asked a young man with olive skin and a teenager’s scruff.

“Last night, I believe.”

“What got him?” asked a third, taking a long draw from the mug of beer in front of him. “I thought he’d never die.” The ginger hunter’s milky eyes were beady and deep-set, and shifted side to side as he spoke.

“Same,” said the first man, with a yawn.

“What happened to all his gear?” asked the young teen, greasy black hair obscuring his greedy eyes.

“I haven’t heard,” said chins, yawning again. “Left it to his brother, I guess. He didn’t leave it to us. That’s all I know.” The gathered hunters laughed weakly. “In any case,” the big man continued. “It’s gonna be a small wake.” He looked around at the gathered audience, flushed with the attention he was now receiving. “Who’d go to it? Unless the drinks are on the house? Amiright?”

“I don’t mind going if there’s food,” admitted beady eyes, who had a narrow jaw and a prominent blonde brow, “but I think their pet angel and its freak kid’ll be there.” Another laugh met this proclamation.

Dean balled his fists. What a bunch of assholes, talking about Cas and Jack like that. “Enough.” Dean firmly said. “I’ve seen the damn movie. It’s not a mystery who they’re talking about. You can skip the dramatic cemetery reveal. I just don’t see why I should care what these losers think, anyway.”

Billie fixed him with another mute stare and beckoned with a perfectly manicured nail on her hand not holding the scythe. Dean shuddered under her stare, then shuffled along behind her with trepidation.She led them down a sour-smelling damp hallway to the bar’s bathrooms, which transformed around him to the tiled hallways of the bunker. All the rooms’ doors were open, and strange voices echoed throughout the hallways. Anxious, Dean quickened his pace, but ground to a sudden halt when he entered the library.

Dozens of hunters had invaded their bunker. Boxes were strewn about with writing in marker on them, writing which Dean recognized as Sam’s. Weapons covered the table, each with a tag attached. A pile of clothes sat in one corner, plaid shirts, jeans, and shoes all laid out in neat rows on a blanket. A large poster advertised Men of Letters artifacts and magical items, with photos and list prices, while the actual items remained locked safely away. 

In the milling crowd disinterestedly handling his personal stuff, Dean spotted his gargantuan brother, face still as he walked through the crowd. As he moved among the other hunters, he occasionally stopped to answer a question, or accept a word of sympathy, a hand on the arm, or an exchange of cash. His eyes remained distant, never meeting anyone else’s directly. Dean could see Sam’s jaw muscle twitching intermittently from across the room.

Dean felt the blood drain from his face. His skin broke out in a thin sheen of cold sweat. “Sam?” he asked, hoarsely. “Why would you do this, Sam?” Dean grabbed Billie’s arm. “What the fuck, Billie?!” He tried to turn her to face him, but her face was as cold and still as stone. “Why is Sam selling my stuff?”

Billie actually opened her mouth to reply, but just then a terrible thought pierced Dean like an icicle through his heart. He sprinted, faster than he had ever humped it through the woods at night on a hunt, to the bunker’s garage.

He crashed through the door, his legs protesting and chest burning. There sat Baby, sleek and black. A silver-haired female hunter sat smugly in the driver’s seat, running her hand appreciatively across the dash. Outside the open door, a line of hunters were waiting for their chance to check her out. Dean approached, heartsick, until he was close enough to read the sign on her windshield. “$18,000 OBO” read the sign, again in Sam’s hand. Dean craned his neck, searching the garage. All the cars and motorcycles had similar signs. What. The. Fuck.

Dean shuffled back through the hall, heedless of the hunters and Billie. On autopilot, his feet carried him to the kitchen, where he had always found comfort. No strangers sullied this sanctum. Cas and Jack were there, though. They were huddled around a large table in the middle of the room where a body lay covered with a white sheet. Cas’ face was drawn and seemed paler than normal. Jack’s was open and caught between curiosity and confusion.

“But why is Sam leaving the bunker?” Jack was asking.

Cas pinched his nose between his long, beautiful fingers. “He’s grieving, Jack. The other times Dean…” Cas took a deep breath, then continued. “Sam wants out of the life. This is the end of the road for him.”

Jack cocked his head searchingly towards Cas. “And what about us?”

Cas’ shoulders slumped. He didn’t answer. Jack drew a breath to ask another question, but just then Cas slipped his trenchcoat off his shoulders. His mouth a grim line, he grasped the two tails and split it cleanly in two.

Jack’s face registered the same shock Dean felt. Cas did not relent. He used his angelic strength to rip the trench into long shreds. He then took the strips of fabric and bound the body on the table. He started with the feet and worked his way up. He didn’t pause in his work. When he reached the corpse’s head his hands hesitated, hovering over the sheet with tenderness. For a second Dean feared seeing his own dead body, but Cas pulled away at the last second. With resolve, he tied the head and torso with the last strips of his tattered tan garment.

Dean turned away from the scene, cheeks wet. He remembered doing the same for Cas, not so long ago. Billie materialized in the kitchen doorway. She crooked a single finger and Dean followed her, feet fumbling as his vision blurred with tears.

The bunker hallway dissolved into a darkened living room. Peeling floral wallpaper exposed moldy plaster. Piles of unidentifiable fabric lay in heaps on rough floorboards. A small camp stove sat, cold, in the middle of the room. Dean had never been here before, but he recognized it instantly. This was a nest.

Dean’s senses shifted into high alert, despite not really being here-here. He was in hunter mode, alert for danger. So he wasn’t startled when a figure shambled into the room. It was Cas, but not as Dean had ever known or seen him. The closest approximation Dean could think of was the future vision of 2014 Castiel he had seen at Camp Chitaqua. This Cas wasn’t all crystals and hemp-oil and linen, though. He was bearded, with long hair, and dressed in ratty jeans with a dirty t-shirt. He clutched a bottle of tequila in one hand and twirled a knife in the other. His eyes were unfocused, restless, and he looked around the room a bit as if searching for something before flopping into an orange corduroy recliner.  

Cas was still for so long, Dean was sure he had passed out or nodded off, at the very least. But when a figure slunk in the back door to the kitchen, Cas’ eyes opened instantly. Now alert and gripping his knife at the ready, he looked every inch of the warrior of heaven he had once been.

“That was a waste of time,” said a woman, shrugging out of a ankle-length down coat. She unwrapped the scarf covering her face and head and shook out her brown braids. She looked Cas up and down scathingly. “I see Vernon’s still not back.” Cas narrowed his eyes at her. She returned his glare and anted up an eyebrow raise of her own. “Heaven’s all abuzz,” she continued in a breathy tone that reminded Dean uncomfortably of Meg. “Seems Jack’s been busting heads among the grey suits, working his way up the ladder.”

Cas took a long draw of tequila, wincing at the burn before acknowledging her words. “Kid’s not my problem anymore.”

“Don’t I know it,” she said, pulling a mustard-yellow sweater off smoothly over her head and tossing it onto one of the piles on the floor. “But it seems he thinks your his.” She unbuttoned her jeans and pulled those off as well. Dean’s mouth feel open at her casual disrobing; their obvious intimacy. She stood in a black camisole and greying cotton underwear, hands on her hips as she regarded Cas. He studiously ignored her. “He’s getting closer. I’d hate for him to find out where you are.” she added, not at all sounding sorry about that prospect.

Cas finally looked into her eyes. “I’ll give you what you want, Mariah.” His voice was cold and harsh.

She nodded, looking eager now. She walked up to him and stood in the vee between his spread legs. He raised his hands and rested them on her thick thighs. “But my price remains the same.” Cas said simply, voice soft yet somehow threatening. Dean found himself recoiling at the veiled threat in the words.

Mariah’s mouth fell open. “I’m the one doing you a favor!” she protested. “You give me some grace, and our brothers and sisters, including your freak stepson, can’t sense you.” She popped out a hip, indignant.

Cas gave her a predatory smile. “And the fact that you, a graceless, fallen angel on the cusp of death, need my borrowed grace to survive…” he trailed off, raising both hands in a shrug. “That’s just a bonus?” He slumped back in the chair. “No. I don’t think so. Payment’s the same. If you want it, work for it.” His voice was hard, the syllables clipped.

Mariah’s eyes burned him, but she sank to her knees in front of him, hands on his jean-clad thighs. She mouthed at his fly and Cas’ eyes fluttered shut. He slugged more liquor as she inched his zipped down and began drawing his cock out into the frigid air of the abandoned house.

Dean stood frozen in place, unable to process the scene in front of him. Cas was so desperately broken. So cruel. At the same time, this was the first time Dean had seen Cas’ cock and it was distracting as hell. He was simultaneously aroused and heartbroken and scared. Whatever was going on here, Cas was clearly not okay. Dean wanted to help, but knew this was just a vision; what could he do?

The sounds of Mariah’s blow job became even more distracting when Cas’ moans of pleasure joined them in the silent night air. Dean actually closed his eyes and grit his teeth to prevent becoming more turned on than he already was. This was not the time or place. Luckily, the proceedings were soon interrupted by another party entering the little clubhouse of horror.

“Honey, I’m home!” called a cloying voice. A tall man with light brown hair entered the room, and looked entirely unfazed at the scene of Cas and Mariah in flagrante delicto. “I cannot believe you two started the Christmas party without me!” Cas’ eyes flew open and he gave the man a withering look. Mariah pulled off with a soft pop and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Don’t start, Vern. He’s in A Mood,” she pouted, sitting back on her heels. The intruder shrugged, flinging off his leather jacket.

“I told you not to mention that stupid pagan rip-off fake commercial holiday to me,” Cas said haughtily. His words were harsh but there was no fire behind them. In fact, he seemed to regard Vernon with something approaching affection, taking in his long, bowed legs and lightly freckled cheeks in a weighty stare. Cas didn’t seem embarrassed at his erect cock sticking out of his jeans.

“Whatever” scoffed Vernon. He pitched his voice conspiratorially to Mariah. “He gets like this every year. It’s because of Dean.” This last word stretched into a few singsong syllables. Mariah looked interested.

“Was that his name?” She reached a hand forward to touch Cas’ thigh again, almost tender, but he shoved her away, pretty harshly, in fact, which surprised Dean. Cas was staring at Vernon. Dean gulped. He expected Cas’ eyes to burn blue, for this Vern to get smote into the next county, but no angelic light burned bright. Instead Cas growled, “I told you I never wanted to hear that name come out of your fucking mouth ever again.”

Vern gave Cas a cocky smile. “Guess you’d better shut me up, then,” he said, his suggestive intent crystal clear. Faster than Dean’s eyes could track, Cas rose from the chair without warning and crossed the distance to Vern in a couple of quick strides, shoving him back on a mattress littering the floor. Dean’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of Cas just absolutely wrecking Vern, hands and mouth all over him. It would be hot as hell if it weren’t disturbing and wrong and sad. After a few moments, Mariah walked over to join them on the mattress, the three of their bodies entwining in a routine that was clearly well-practiced. Dean couldn’t stand this. He pressed his eyes shut and breathed deeply, trying to block out the sounds of wet skin slapping together, the moans and grunts from the dirty pallet on the floor. He felt cold metal at his jaw and opened his eyes. Billie’s scythe rest along his face. She did not look absent of compassion as she used the blade to nudge his face back toward the scene in front of him. Why did she want him to watch this? What kind of sick fuck did she take him for?

Just then, Vern opened his mouth, which was was pressed against Cas’ neck, and Dean understood what he was still meant to see. Dean caught a flash of two rows of sharply pointed teeth just before Vernon clamped down on Cas’ neck, drawing blood. Dean darted forward on impulse, fists balling instinctively to beat the vamp off his angel. The flat of Billie’s blade rest against his chest as she yanked him back with it, freezing his body in place with her power. Seconds later, Cas climaxed with a guttural groan and a blue flash of grace shifted from him to both Vern and Mariah, and they followed suit.

As the three lovers sunk, limp, away from one another into the mattress, Dean turned away once again, sickened. Dean had his answer now. He had always protected his own heart. He knew how to survive loss and grief. He never thought about how Cas would respond; how he would cope with a broken heart.

Dean’s eyes found Billie’s and he whispered, “undo this.” He took her black leather lapels in his hands, dug his fingers in and begged. “I don’t care about my own life, but you can not do this to Cas.”

Billie shook her head slowly. “I didn’t do this to him, Dean. You did.”

Dean sank to his knees in front of Death, still clutching her coat reflexively. “I promise. I’ll do right by him, Billie. I won’t hide anymore.” Dean realized he was shouting desperately. “I’ll try. I’ll be brave. I’m not afraid anymore.” Dimly, he realized he was sobbing rather than speaking. He leaned his head forward to rest it on Billie’s feet, but his head hit the ground, and her jacket was empty in his hands. Dean lifted it to his face, repeating “I’m not afraid anymore,” over and over again, until he realized the material wasn’t worn leather but the scratchy faded blue acrylic of the motel bed’s blanket.

[valiantvigilant]

Compromised [Part 2] (Dick Grayson x Reader)

hello everyone! This is Compromised Part 2! If you haven’t read Part 1, you can read it here (Hopefully this link works, if not please let me know!!) Well, I hope you enjoy! I apologize for this taking so long to be posted. I had a lot of shit going on in my life that wasn’t very good, but things are better now! I went on vacation and it really helped me relax and unwind so I could heal! Now that I’m back, I decided it was time to finish and finally post Compromised Part 2 haha! _____

Dick Grayson didn’t like waking up to an empty bed. Normally, you would be there, warming up the other half of the bed with your body heat. But, today when he rolled over and woke up, the right side of the bed was cold. He frowned and got up, his joints popping as he stretched. He looked down at his phone on the nightstand and picked it up. Unlocking it, his thumb instantly went to your contact and hovered over the call button. - You were packing your bags, Jason accompanying you. The two of you sat in the living room as you picked out what you wanted/ needed to bring. Simultaneously, you had the file on Danilo Carrera pulled up on your hologlove. “What’s this Danny guy like anyway?” Jason asked as he folded his clothes. “He is a total creep. He kept touching me and flirting with me,” you reply in disgust. “I don’t regret punching him in the face one bit. I’m pretty sure I broke his nose.” “I’m proud of you (N/N),” Jason said with a grin. You roll your eyes and smile back. You were about to say something back when Dick’s contact came up on your screen, indicating that he was calling you. You pursed your lips and decided to answer the call. “Hello?” “(Y/N)! I, uh…hi.” He began awkwardly. “I woke up and you weren’t next to me…” “Yeah, I stayed at the Manor last night,” you reply. “I figured…” There was an uncomfortable silence before he broke it again. “I h-heard that you and Jason have a flight to an island near Santa Prisca.” You raised your eyebrow at the fact that he stuttered. Dick hadn’t sounded this nervous since he first asked you out back when you were teenagers. “Yes, we do.“ “If it’s okay with you, I was wondering if I could…come say goodbye before you go.” You chewed the inside of your cheek as you took in that sentence. “Sure.” “R-Really?! I’ll be over soon!” He said hurriedly and hung up. You sighed and ran your fingers through your (h/l) (h/c) locks. “Even with the way he acted yesterday, you still give him your entire heart. Just as you do every day.” Jason comments with a side smile. You turn and look at him, giving a soft one in return. “He’s the love of my life, even if he did act like a complete asshole.“ - Dick Grayson drove anxiously to the Manor, clutching the ring tightly in his right hand. He felt so nauseous right now, his palms were sweaty and the stress was building again. He wasn’t used to this feeling, not at all. Dick was accustomed to stress, but nothing like this. He took a deep breath once he pulled up and exhaled, slipping the ring in his pocket. Alfred opened the front door, greeted him, and then told him that you were upstairs in your room. Dick thanked the kind butler and headed directly to your said location. He took another shaky breath and knocked on your door. You had just finished double checking your room to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything when there was a knock at the door. You opened it to see your boyfriend, a weak smile on his usual cheery face. You figured it was all the stress he was under. You know from personal experience that stress can throw patience, empathy, logic, and control right out the window to be forgotten. You allowed him in and shut the door with your foot, giving you two some privacy. As soon as the door shut, he instantly began spewing apologies from his mouth. ”I’m sorry,“ he croaked out pathetically. “I’m so so sorry. I ruined everything last night. The mission ended up in shambles because of me and now you and Jason have to risk your lives to go to Santa Prisca because of my mistake. I’m so sorry, please forgi-” You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his neck in a warm hug. Stunned by the sudden embrace, Dick wasn’t quite sure what to do at first. However, he quickly snapped out of his little trance and hugged you back, almost immediately sinking into your figure. Pulling away from him for a minute you look at his face and see the dark circles and pale features. You put a hand to his cheek and rub your thumb under his eye. “What’s up with you? You haven’t been yourself lately,“ you ask gently. All your annoyance and disappointment because of his actions, vanished as you saw his stressed state. “I’m just so…overwhelmed,” he mumbled. “Bludhaven is becoming more and more of a mess, that case is tied into that, I messed everything up, and…” his voice trails as he thinks of the circular object in his pocket. “And?” You question. He shakes his head. “It’s nothing. But, I’m just so…done (Y/N). So stressed out. It’s making me feel sick.” You ran your fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes in relief. He loved it when you did that. “You do look quite pale. Maybe you should take a little break, love.” “I can’t. I need to protect people, and be there.” “My dear, you already do so much.” You replied. “Bruce is right. You need to get yourself in check before going out into the field again. You’re emotions are all churned up. It isn’t healthy to keep going like this.” He pulled away from you, his eyebrows knitting together. “I knew you would side with him. I know, I compromised the mission. I fucked up. It won’t happen again.” You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest. “We can’t take the risk of that happening again. Not when Black Mask and now Bane are involved. It’s too unpredictable.“ “Whatever (Y/N)! It’s always been about the mission with you anyway,” he snapped. Your eyes widened and you gave him a look of hurt. “That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” You say, becoming somewhat agitated. “You are working yourself to the bone Dick, you are loosing control of your emotions left and right. This is not normal.” “Don’t tell me what I need to do and not do (Y/N)! It’s my body and my life! I’m an adult and can make my own decisions!” He growled. “Perhaps you should start acting like an adult instead of a rebellious teenager!” You yelled back. The two of you glared at each other, the stare being full of fire and anger. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. “Look, obviously you have some shit you need to deal with right now. So, it’s good that I’m going away on this mission. It’ll give you some space,” you say, calming down. He sighed and ran a hand through his dark locks. “I’m sorry (Y/N)…I just…you’re right. I do have a lot on my mind,” he mumbled. “Of course I’m right,” you tease with a wink and a grin. You took his hand and the two of you made your way to the Batcave where Jason was waiting for you along with Tim and Damian. Bruce was at work, and Alfred was upstairs making lunch. (He had wished you and Jason a safe mission while you came down.) “Well, boys,” you state. “We will see you in a few days. Hopefully.” You engulf Tim and Damian in smothering hugs, which ended up in them two arguing over who you loved to hug more (besides Dick). You chuckled at their bickering and shook your head. “Okay, well if you two dumbasses are done arguing, (Y/N) and I have to get going.” Jason cut in. “Plus we all know that she loves to hug me more!” “No way Todd! She definitely loves to hug me more than you and Drake. I am best after Grayson,” Damian said, puffing out his chest. “Pft! As if!” Tim said sarcastically. “Boys, boys. After Dick, I love you all equally!” You assure with a laugh. Looking down at your watch, you realize that your flight was going to leave soon! “Alright, I’ll see you guys soon!” You give Tim and Damian one last hug before you turned to Dick. He engulfs you in a tight squeeze, burying his face in your hair. “I love you,” he murmured. “I love you too.” The two of you parted and he pulled you in for a passionate kiss (which had Tim and Damian gagging.) Dick put a hand to your face and rubbed small circles onto your cheek. You could sense the worry in his blue hues, so you gave him a gentle smile to calm them. “Don’t worry Bird Boy, I’ll come back to you in one piece,” you state with a wink. He lets out a small, nervous, laugh. “I won’t let anything happen to her,” Jason piped up. Dick and his brother locked eyes and the eldest sent a nod his way. He wanted more than anything to go on this mission with you. It’s not that he didn’t trust his brother…he just wanted to be by your side. He always was by your side, and you his. That’s just what you guys did. You were Dick and (Y/N), Nightwing and (Y/H/N). You were a team. You gave him one last kiss before you and Jason made your way to the zeta tubes. “(Y/N)! Wait!” Dick called out just before you walked in. You turned around and looked at him. “Hm?” He had the ring clenched in his fist and he opened his mouth, but no words came out at first. “Dick? Are you okay?” “I…I have something important to ask you when you get back,” he finally spoke, internally kicking himself as soon as the words left his mouth. “Oh, alright,” you reply with a crooked grin. “I’ll see you soon! I love you!” With those words, you and Jason disappeared with your bags. Dick sighed and put the ring back in his pocket, running his fingers through his hair in a stressful manner. “Grayson, you are pathetic,” Damian stated flatly. Dick whirrled around and glared at the youngest sibling. “I have to admit, the Demon is right Dick. That was just sad. Why don’t you ask her already?” Tim stated. “I don’t know! It’s just been plaguing my mind lately, and especially with last night’s mission and all the other crazy shit…I just can’t do it. I know, it’s sad and pathetic. Believe me, I’m aware.” “You better ask her soon, she is gonna find out eventually, whether you tell her or not.” Damian commented. Dick sighed once more. “I know.” - The flight to the safe island near Santa Prisca didn’t take long. (The perks of Bruce having connections got you two a faster flight.) From there, you guys took a motor boat to Santa Prisca, and the mission began. You and Jason were dressed in your hero uniforms and had placed comms in your ears before splitting up. You swiftly made your way through the thick jungle terrain and to the warehouse that Bane and Danny would most likely be in. Batman had said they received a tip that Black Mask would be here and they would finally conduct their business. You made your way to the roof of the building and wriggled into the air vents. “Red, I’m entering through the ducts. What’s your 20?“ “Garage number 3 was open because of a recent exportation of drugs which was to be shipped to…” his voice trailed. “Bludhaven, Gotham, and Metropolis. This apparently is bigger than just the Bat’s territory. I’m downloading and transferring the delivery schedule to you.” “Copy that,” you reply, pulling up the computer that was built into your hologlove. The information was downloaded and your eyes skimmed over the delivery schedule before receiving other files from Jason. An update map of the facility was one of the files, which you were grateful for. You had a lock on Jason’s location and scanned the map for a save rendezvous point. “Down the hallway, to the left of this room is a storage room. It’s right below me and it appears to have not been open for quite some time. According to its contents…in there are old vials of venom. The former formula it appears. It’s going to be sent to be destroyed two days from now,” you state. “Meet me there.” “10-4, (Y/H/N).” You quickly and quietly made your way through the vents to the room. Slipping down into the said place, you landed quietly on your feet. Jason soon entered the room as well and walked over to you. “What’s the plan (N/N)?” He asked. You pulled up the map and information of the facility so the two of you can see. “Well, there is a storage room down at the other end of the hall that contains the new Venom formula. We need a few samples of that, so Bats or Red Robin can analyze and break down. Now, down at the opposite end of the hall I’m going to go out on an educated guess and assume that this room is where Black Mask is having a meeting with Bane,” you explain. “One of us needs to get the Venom and the other needs to get evidence of this meeting,” Jason stated. “Precisely.” “You’re definitely are lighter on your feet than I am. I’ll get the samples while you eavesdrop.” “I planned on being the eavesdropper anyway, especially with your habit of always causing a scene,” you tease. You could practically sense his eye roll as he punched you playfully in the shoulder. “Alright, I’ll catch up with you soon.” “Stay safe, Red.” He sent a nod your way as the two of you exited the room in silence, going your separate ways once more. You followed the map until you were outside the room in which the meeting between Bane and Black Mask was supposedly being held. You looked around and found an air vent and wormed your way into the ventilation systems like before. You pulled up the computer on your hologlove, quickly hacking and disabling the motion and heat sensors. You smirked and crawled to where a vent was in the back corner of the room. You could hear the voices of Bane and another man speaking in Spanish. “That girl really did a number on your face, eh, Danny?” Bane said in his native tongue. “That bitch will pay, next time I go to Gotham I’ll hunt her down,” the voice of Danilo Carrera replied, tone full of spite. You held back a chuckle as you remember how you broke his nose. “You don’t even know her name,” Bane continued. “I wish I did…she asked a lot of questions. She was beautiful though, too bad she has a husband. God, the things I would do to her.” You scowled at his words, your face crunching up in disgust. “Focus, Mask is supposed to be here any minute now.” You silently pried open the vent and placed a small camera in the corner of the wall. You closed the vent and linked your hologlove to the camera. On the screen came a clear view of the room. You snickered internally as you saw Danny’s nose all taped up. A few minutes passed before Black Mask finally entered the room, two of his assistants following, a female and a male. “Gentlemen, it’s nice to finally be able to discuss things in person. Our last meeting was unfortunately interrupted, I apologize,” Black Mask stated as he took a seat at the table across from Bane and Danny. “Some bitch and her husband caused a scene,” Danny said in an annoyed tone. “Yes, my men are working on trying to track them down.” “If you find the girl, I want to get my revenge,” Danny mumbled. “That isn’t the objective here,” Bane hissed in Spanish. He turned back to Mask. “Ignore him, we came here to talk about business. Not some girl who happened to get a good punch on him.” “I completely understand his desire for revenge. If we find her, she is all yours.” Danny’s lip curled up into a sinister grin. “Anyways, back to business like you stated. You have shipments of your new Venom formula ready for Bludhaven, Gotham and Metropolis, correct?“ “Yes, the shipments should arrive by morning.” “Excellent. Once in Gotham my people can do a little experimenting with it with some of the drugs, chemicals and technology we have. If all goes smoothly, more supplies and things will be sent for you to make more, as long as I get fifty percent of the profit you make from this new formula.” “Fifty percent?!” “I think fifty percent is a sufficient cut for me, considering I’m now your number on supplier for things so you can make your Venom,” Mask said cunningly. Bane grit his teeth in annoyance, then took a deep breath. “You drive a hard bargain Señor,” Bane said, clearly annoyed. “You have a deal.” Mask smiled wickedly and the two shook hands. He opened his mouth to say something more when a huge rumble shook the building, almost knocking you over. Thankfully you didn’t, or you would’ve fallen through the loose vent. “What the hell was that?!” A man burst into the room and spoke in rapid Spanish, too fast for you to translate. Bane cursed as he heard whatever the man said. You pressed your finger to your comm. “Red, what’s your ETA to the storage room.” You question. “Busy. Can’t talk.” He grunted back, the sounds of fighting in the back ground. Shit. Jason must’ve caused that explosion and blew his cover. He really does enjoy causing a scene…although I was considering blowing up that shipment of Venom before it left for the States…perhaps he beat me to it. We need to get rid of the rest of it though. At least what they have already made would be destroyed until we need to analysis on it. You thought. You helplessly sat there, monitoring Jason’s location from your hologlove. Unable to do anything, for it would blow your cover as well, you tried thinking of ways to get out of here. You had gotten all the Intel you needed to confirm Mask’s and Danny’s relations with Bane, and you had gotten several files from them. You hoped, Jason got the samples. The door to the room slammed open and you saw through your camera, Jason being dragged in by three men, seven or eight others following. He was tied up with rope and was bleeding from several areas. He looked up at Bane from behind his red helmet and you could tell a sneer was on his face. “Ah. One of the Bats Birds, came to visit my island.” “Uh…sir…the shipment headed to leave tonight was destroyed..” one of the men said awkwardly. “What?!” Bane roared. The man when to repeat himself but Bane punched him in the gut, sending him to his knees. “You’ll pay for this Red Hood,” the Santa Priscan man snarled. Jason chuckled, wincing slightly. “Looks like your little drug plan got delayed. How unfortunate,” Jason said sarcastically. “Mr. Hood, you always seem to have a way of fucking things up!” Mask yelled slamming his hands on the table. Jason laughed again. “Oh, I know.” Mask walked over and kicked him in the head and stomach. He saw a large wound on his chest and knelt down, sticking his finger in it. Jason let out a small cry of pain. “These men can have a go at you, but once their done, my partner and I will make sure you aren’t here to fuck things up ever again.” Your eyes widened at this as your mind raced for a plan. Suddenly, an idea popped into your mind. You went to your hologlove and gained access to the systems again. You swiftly shut down the power in ths building and set it to come back on in about a minute. Lifting the vent silently, you began your plan as the lights went out. “What the hell?! What now?!” Mask said angrily. You grabbed your camera on the way down from your hiding place and ran over, starting to take down each of the men easily. Reminder to thank Bats for the teachings on the ‘Element of Surprise’ and the nightvision upgrades in my mask, you thought to yourself as you took out the last man. Bane and Mask stood in the dark, confused on what was going on. You had about twenty seconds before the lights came back on so you untied Jason and started to pull him along. “He is escaping!” Mask yelled. “Not off my island he isn’t!” You shoved Jason through the door and just as you were about to go, the lights flicked back on. You turned around and saw Bane with a small knife in his hand. Before you could process, he threw it and it stuck right in your shoulder. You let out a scream of pain, and Jason grabbed your hand, pulling you through the door way. The two of you ran, twisting and turning down hallways. “Are you okay?” You ask, panting because of the pain and adrenaline. “Just a scratch,” Jason replied, clearly lying. “You?” “Just a scratch,” you state with a smirk, gesturing to the knife in your shoulder as you reached over and yanked it out. “Looks like Bane is getting interested in toys that are a bit more lowkey,” you muttered as you put the small knife in your utility belt. “We need to get out of here.” “No shit Sherlock!” “No, we really need to get out here. Possibly within the next three minutes and…twenty five seconds.” Your eyes widen. “Did you do what I think you did?” “If what your thinking is ‘plant a bomb that destroys the rest of the new Venom except the ten vials I have in my utility belt,’ then yes.” You smirked again, letting out a laugh. “Funny, I was thinking of doing the same thing.” “Perfect. Batman isn’t gonna be happy when we get back, is he?” “Probably not. So much for strictly recon.” “We never listen to that rule anyway.” You looked behind Jason and yourself and saw men, and Bane running after you. More of them burst out of rooms, guns in hands and they started to shoot. “Things are getting hot in here (Y/H/N), any ideas on how the hell we are gonna get out of here?!” “Down this hall, make a left then a right. It was your entry point. From there we can run into the jungle and head to the motor boat,“ you state. “Slight problem. My entry point was destroyed.” “That’s our only option. Everywhere else we will for sure be cut off and put in the blast considering the rest of the Venom is near by where we need to exit.” You state as the two of you follow your directions. Garage number 3 was no longer there, just as he said. Flames were everywhere from the explosion and debris were mangled and jagged. You two continue to run, although slower because of your wounds and the fire. “We aren’t gonna make it past the blast zone in time (N/N)!” “Just keep running!” Fire and smoke swirled around you, bullets whizzing past your ears due to the terrible aim of Bane’s men (which you were thankful for.) You two made it to edge of the jungle before a searing hot force slammed you forward. Your body was flung and impacted the ground in a harsh manner. Rocks and sticks scraped you and your body screamed in pain. You looked around, everything was fuzzy and chaotic, your vision was blurry and you couldn’t find Jason. Screams of people could be heard behind you, though it was muffled due to the ringing in your ears. You stumbled and tried to get to your feet, but no avail. The blood loss was finally taking it’s toll and you collapsed on the ground. Looking up to the sky, the last thing you saw were the stars before darkness enveloped it’s blanket around you. - The last thing you expected to happen after this mission, was for you to wake up in a hospital bed in the Batcave. Although, you weren’t all that surpised, considering the events that took place. However, let’s just say, the light stung your eyes when you woke up and you were not happy about that. You cracked your eyes open and saw the white popcorn ceiling. You squinted and sat up, wincing slightly as you looked around. The heart monitor next you beeped and you looked down at your arm and saw an IV sticking out of it. Then it all came back to you. The mission. The explosion. The flames and the knife wound in your shoulder. Saw your uniform ripped and cut in certain places so you could be bandaged. You looked to your right and saw your beloved boyfriend asleep in a chair. Your eyes softened at his exhausted looking state. Behind him was a cloth curtain and you felt curiosity well up inside you. You bit your lip to prevent from wincing loudly as you slowly slipped out of the bed. Taking the IV with you, you looked at yourself in the mirror that was in the room. Your shoulder was bandaged up as well as your head. There was a bruise on your cheek and a few stitches under your right eye. That’s definitely gonna scar, you thought. You walked over to the curtain, peeked your head in, and saw Jason laying there. He was bandaged up as well, an IV in his arm too. He looked up from the book he was reading and his eyes filled with relief. “Thank God you’re awake. I was sure Golden Boy was gonna have a heart attack.” He said sitting up more. You took a seat on the chair beside his bed. “What the hell happened? How did we get here?” You questioned. “After the explosion, I, in my partially conscious state, was able to get the two of us to the motor boat and on to open water. I was able to send a distress signal to the Bat Computer and here we are,“ Jason explained. “Does this mean I owe you one?” You ask. “Maybe. But, I’m glad you’re alright. Dick almost had my head on a platter because the Alfred thought you might not make it…you were unconscious for four days.” “Damn…” You murmured. “Well, I’m okay. I’ll make sure he doesn’t try to kick your ass.“ The two of you exchange smiled before you walked back to your bed. You look at Dick, a soft smile going on your face as you brush a few stray hairs from his. You take the spare blanket from the foot of the bed and drape it over his shoulders. When Dick had gotten the call that you were seriously injured, he had been in your shared apartment in Bludhaven. The call made shivers run down his spine and he dashed into the bathroom to vomit. The thought of you possibly dying made him sick and all the stress and worry he had been feeling came crashing down on him. On the morning of the fifth day of your (lucky) recovery, he felt his heart jump into his throat when Alfred had came up to his room to tell him you were awake. The raven haired boy didn’t hesitate to make a run for the Batcave. And there you were, doing some basic yoga stretches as some light ‘training.’ Your shoulder hurt like a bitch, and your torso was all bruised and cut up, but you did what you could to get up and get your blood flowing. You never did like to sit around, even when not injured. He made his way down the stairs and you turned around, hearing his footsteps. Before you could open your mouth and say anything, he wrapped his arms around your frame and held you to his chest. His eyes filled with tears of relief, and he couldn’t help but let them fall. You felt him tremble as you hugged him back, his tears hit your neck and you felt pangs of guilt and empathy. You rubbed his back lovingly, and pulled back slightly, cupping his face in your hands. Wiping the tears from his cheeks, you gave him a warm smile. “I told you I would come back to you in one piece,” you stated. He let out a laugh and sob mixed together, his glossy blue eyes staring into your shimmering (e/c) orbs. “I love you,” he chokes out. “I love you too.” “I told you I had something to ask you once you came back.” “Yes, you did. What is it, my love?” You ask zealously. He took a deep breath, getting himself together. “I love you. I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. You are the most beautiful girl, in the whole world and I…I want to spend the rest of my life with you.“ He gets down on one knee and holds the glimmering ring out to you. Tears instantly fill your eyes as his continue to do so. ”(Y/N) (L/N), will you marry me?“ A smile broke out on your face, one that was wider and brighter than the sun. “Yes! Always, yes!” ______ I apologize for the ending being so…eh. Ugh I’m sorry.

[odderancyart]

The Cherry Chronicles pt. 5

AO3

First Last Next

Warnings: Past abuse, PTSD, Self-hatred

Summary: Another Sans appears in Underfell. The only problem, except getting him home, is that this one’s showing signs of abuse, and is terrified of Papyrus. 

The two familiar faces were staring at him. Frowning.  Eye sockets dark. Not that terrifying blankness, lifelessness, but dark. Cherry shook, and he felt sweat drip down his face. His mind was in shambles. He hadn’t even been able to focus on the food out of pure nervousness and fear of what was to come. His breathing was short, it coming in gasps. He clawed on the floor, trying to find something to hold onto. The carpet. Gathering it in his claws he focused on the texture. It was soft. Much softer than the carpet at home. That carpet was covered in blood – mostly his, but others’ as well, like that bunny kid – and had stiffened a long time ago.

“e-everythin’?” he managed to ask, almost proud he only stuttered a little. Cherry bowed his head and stared on his legs. That way he only had to feel the gazes on him, not see them. It was a little better. There was a short silence. Then:

“NO,” Boss said, almost carefully. “YOU CAN START WITH TELLING US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR PAPYRUS.”

Cherry’s dim eyelights glowed a little brighter. He smiled slightly, despite the trembles wracking his body at the mention of his Boss. He took in a winded breath and forced himself to look up at the native brothers.

“Boss i-is th’ coolest,” he began. Strangely enough Sans exhaled at that. He seemed relieved. “th’ li-lieutenant of th’ royal g-g-guard, ‘n’ a favourite o’ ‘is majesty. undyne's g-got nothin’ on ‘im. th’ only reason she’s not d-dust and Boss isn’t th’ c-captain is that Boss respects her. c-completely ruthless and merciless. th' st-strongest, ‘cept for ‘is majesty, o’ course.”

His breathing had calmed and his soul was no longer trying to beat its way out of his chest. Talking about how awesome Boss was he could do all day. If he didn’t have to mention himself. Just thinking about having to talk about how pathetic he was made Cherry start to sweat again. Everyone knew it, he couldn’t understand why they kept making him say it.

“AND WHAT DOES YOUR BROTHER THINK ABOUT YOU?”

Sans listened as Cherry spoke about his brother. He grinned, recognizing himself in it. The comment about Undyne was almost a little worrying, and so was the ‘merciless’-thing, but in the end, it could be chalked up to their world. It seemed crueller than theirs. Otherwise, it was so familiar it almost wasn’t funny.

He felt shame travel through his spine, and he shivered. Tears formed in his eye sockets and he had to fight to keep them back. He was such a crybaby. Boss hated when he cried. Unless it was during punishment, during those he seemed to appreciate tears. Boss once said that covered in bruises and tears and blood were the only times Cherry wasn’t disgusting to look at. Ever since, he had almost wanted to be punished. Just to please Boss. Almost.

He swallowed. Cherry closed his eye sockets for a short moment. Just to buy himself some time before he had to tell this version of Boss and himself how revolting he was.

“m-m-me?” He let out laugh and hunched his shoulders. “i-i-i’m a b-bother, a-a l-loathsome waste o’ sp-space. o-only good as a p-p-punchin’ b-bag ‘n’ ‘a-ardly even th-that. w-weak, ‘n’ annoyin’ ‘n’ u-ugly t’ l-look at. th' only r-r-reason 'm n-n-not e-exp is B-Boss’ s-se-sentimentality. he's told me that enough times for it t’ be clear.”

As he spoke, the others two monsters’ expressions grew more and more horrified. That was the only word Cherry had to describe them, and it didn’t fit at all. It wasn’t logical. Why would they look horrified? It was only the truth. He forced himself to take deep breaths. He flinched and whimpered as both of them suddenly were in front of him. Way too close. Only decimetres away. He wanted to recoil, but that would certainly anger them even more. Cherry felt a tear drop down his cheek, and furiously wiped it off with his sleeve. Why did he have to be such an embarrassment?

“hey, yer no…” Sans began to say, only to be interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. Cherry jumped high at it, and whimpered again. Boss swore loudly.

“THE DOGI. THEY’RE HERE TO LEAVE THEIR WEEKLY REPORT,” he stated. His brows furrowed and his mouth was a tight, edgy line. He trembled more at that, Boss seemed mad. “I COMPLETELY FORGOT. SANS, GET CHERRY INTO YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING, THEY CAN’T SEE HIM. BE BACK AFTER.”

Cherry flinched as hand quickly grabbed him, and he felt himself getting dragged into the Void. It did not feel good. Taking shortcuts were one thing, but being a passenger was truly awful. Within seconds he was sitting on the floor of a familiar room. Except his one was dirty in a way his hadn’t been for years. Boss detested how he let his room get messy.

He didn’t anymore.

“stay ‘ere, be quiet,” Sans ordered him before leaving him behind. Cherry nodded, despite the other’s back being turned to him, and curled into a ball on the dirty rug.

“y-yes, sir.”

Don’t move and stay silent. That was the only order he managed to follow most of the times. Not always though. Sometimes he was in so much pain or his nightmares got so bad that he simply couldn’t. He wasn’t even able to always follow such a simple command.

He was so repulsive.

Sans’ frame shook as he closed the door behind him. This was all kinds of wrong. He didn’t want to believe what this was implying. He didn’t… A Papyrus couldn’t be so terrible. Not toward his Sans. Yet…

Was there another conclusion to draw here?

To hear and see someone who looked so much like himself filled with so much self-hatred was horrendous. He wasn’t the most self-loving monster Underground, but this kind of disgust for oneself was something new entirely. Not even growing up in New Home he had seen something like it. And he had seen all kinds of things there. Sans took a couple deep breaths to steady himself. His hands were trembling. He quickly shoved them into his pockets. The dogs were here. He couldn’t break down now.

He put back the lazy, threatening grin on his face and went downstairs.  Acting confident when not feeling like it was the first thing they had been taught as babybones. Their key to survival.

The dogs yipped in greeting as they saw him. They lowered their heads in submission but wagged their tails to show they were glad to see him. Sans chuckled, petting Lesser’s head as he walked by. They were good dogs, despite the climate of their world. Sans’ hand froze for a moment as he wondered how the Dogi was in Cherry’s ‘verse. He had been terrified of them as well. Lesser threw him a questioning, almost worried, gaze. Shaking his head slightly Sans smirked back. No worries. Lesser licked his hand.

“WELL,” boss said as they all had taken their usual seats. The dogs saluted. “REPORT.” Dogaressa, as the leader of the unit, immediately stood. She began to go through everything that had happened in Snowdin the last week. Most of it was things they knew already. Sans yawned, but his brother nodded as she spoke. Ever the dutiful soldier. The food transport had come safely – duh. Some criminals from Hotland had tried to rob the shop and had been dusted.  A brawl had broken out on Grillby’s. Sans had been there, encouraged the whole thing. He grinned at the memory. It had been hilarious to watch Grillby throw them out and give them a month’s ban from the bar.

As soon as she had finished and Boss had nodded his permission, she sat down again. The dogs sniffed the air, looking slightly disturbed.

“Is other Sans okay?” Dogamy asked. His ears were pressed closely to his head.

“This place smells of fear.” Doggo added, lifting his nose into the air for good measure. The brothers glanced at each other, unsure what to say. Eventually Papyrus crossed his arms, staring at the dogs.

“THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS,” he declared, and they winced and immediately showed of their throats again. At that, the look on Papyrus’ face softened. Just a tad, just enough for Sans to see it. “BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW, HE’S HAVING A BAD TIME. YOU NEED NOT WORRY THOUGH. I AM SURE WE WILL BE ABLE TO FIX IT WITH ENOUGH TIME.”

“(We want to help!)” Dogaressa quickly said, and Greater Dog panted in agreement. Papyrus petted her head once, and she smiled.

“GOOD DOG.” A happy gasp. “BUT AS IT IS, WE WILL HANDLE IT. I WILL TELL YOU IF WE REQUIRE ASSISTANCE. AND THAT IS MY FINAL DESCISION.”

“Lieutentant!” The dogs all saluted at that, accepting what Papyrus told them. Sans supressed a smile. It was kind of funny how loyal they’d gotten to them, seeing how they fought them when they first came to Snowdin. Although, he guessed it wasn’t too weird. Papyrus was probably the first officer they had who treated them fairly, just like he treated everyone fairly. From what he had heard, basically every officer in the Royal Guard were complete assholes except for boss and Undyne. The only ones with any kind of morals and sense for earning respect instead of immediately commanding it.

He plucked a cigarette out of his inventory and lightened it. Inhaling, he sighed in relief. It wasn’t long-lived though.

“SANS!” Papyrus complained. He frowned and glared at him. “I’VE TOLD YOU NOT TO SMOKE IN THE FUCKING HOUSE. I DON’T WANT THAT DISGUSTING SMELL INSIDE. GO OUT IF YOU NECESSARILY HAVE TO DO IT.”

“sure thing, boss,” he sighed and stood up. He wasn’t going to put out a brand-new cigarette. Well out on the porch he watched the denizens of their little town go on with their daily business. Everyone was glaring at everyone, warning them to get closer. Except the kids. Sans almost smiled as the children played on the streets, unbothered by the hostility around them. The only ones safe around here. Even if it hadn’t been illegal, boss would’ve flipped his shit if anyone had killed someone still in stripes.

As one of the bears looked up at him, though, he immediately stopped. Instead he changed it into a cocky smirk, and lifted the cigarette in greeting. Exhaled the smoke. The bear averted his eyes after a few moments.

Sans let out another relieved sigh as he felt the cold wind hit his face. This was so much better than being caught inside with either the frankly worrying Cherry or the dogs talking about stuff he didn’t care about one bit.

Perhaps he’d go to Grillby’s tonight again. Alone this time. Get drunk of his ass and not have to think about the possibility that Cherry had been abused by his Papyrus. The possibility he almost couldn’t deny after what he had heard.

Yeah. That sounded like a really fucking good idea.

Cherry wailed quietly as he heard steps. He hadn’t moved. He was being good. He had almost not made a single sound. There was no reason he would be punished, right? They hadn’t punished him yet even when he had messed up.  

They were probably just biding their time. Waiting until he felt safe before striking. That had happened one too many times. Both with Boss and with others, such as Grillby.

These steps didn’t sound like they came from anyone his size, which was strange. They were far too quiet and quick. Suddenly something soft pressed again his hand. Cherry swallowed, and looked down. It was that cat again. Doomfanger purred, and licked his hand. He let out a giggle. It tickled. Those amber eyes stared at him. But they were soft. There was nothing threatening in that body language as Doomfanger buffed his hand again.

Hesitantly, Cherry lifted his hand. He held his breath as he put it on the cat’s head. He had done this before, but both Boss and Sans had been there then. Nothing happened. The spinning only got louder. He almost smiled as he slowly stroked the cat’s back. He froze as the cat let out a meow. When nothing else happened, he moved his hand again. The fur was so soft. The softest thing he had ever felt. His shoulders fell and his breathing level out as he felt tension disappear.

He continued to pet the cat, who eventually climbed into his lap and lied down. Like he had done to Boss before. It was… nice. Yeah. Nice. Cherry’s eyelids dropped and he yawned. He was getting sleepy. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in he didn’t know how long. Doomfanger licked his hand again, and purred even louder. Huh. He wondered how loud the cat could be. He yawned again.

The next thing he knew, he was curled up on the mattress – which was much softer than his own – and covered in a blanket. Doomfanger was still there, resting on his head. Cherry hadn’t had a blanket for years. Boss took once when the temperature got lower than normal; he deserved it, Cherry did not. He hadn’t been able to argue with that, and afterward he simply hadn’t gotten it back. He frowned slightly at the restricting feeling. Still. It was warm. Pleasant. This was so weird.

As he began to move slightly, Doomfanger woke up. He licked Cherry’s cheek and then disappeared out through the slightly open door. Cherry stayed, thinking about whether it would be acceptable to just stay in bed for a while. Normally the answer would be a clear no, but someone had even tucked him in, so perhaps.

After a few minutes, the door opened slowly, and Boss was standing there, the cat by his feet. He just gave Cherry a short glance, but it didn’t look hostile, before putting down the tray he held in his hands next to the shorter.

On it a steaming cup of coffee and a plate with pancakes stood. Cherry stared at it, wondering if that was for him. The last two days’ happenings did make him believe it was quite likely, yet… breakfast in the bed? With luxuries like coffee? Whoa.

“IT IS FOR YOU, YES,” Boss said like he had read his mind. “EAT UP, BUT DO TAKE YOUR TIME. ONCE YOU’RE FINISHED I’D APPRECIATE IF YOU CAME DOWNSTAIRS.”

“o-o’ course, Boss,” he stammered, almost wondering if he had heard right. Why was Boss so polite to him? The only monsters Boss had ever bothered being polite with was Undyne and the King – and of course his officers when he had others than Undyne. Boss winced slightly.

“ABOUT THAT. WOULD IT BE OKAY IF YOU CALLED ME PAPYRUS INSTEAD? BOSS IS WHAT SANS CALLS ME, AND THE IMPLICATIONS WHEN YOU DO IT IS NOT VERY COMFORTABLE. I WON’T FORCE YOU, BUT I WOULD APPRECIATE IT.”

Cherry gaped at that. He got permission to use his Boss’ first name? He hadn’t done that since they were babybones.

“’c-c-course Bo… papyrus. whatever ya wish.”

[gloves94]

Sunburn [Prince Zuko] 22

Warnings: None   Rating: PG-13   Pairings: Zuko/OC   Summary:  “You have everything you’ve ever wanted.” “No.” He said softly. “Not everything…”  His golden eyes looked at her with a melting intensity she had never witnessed before. “I guess not.” She responded with glassy eyes as tears welled up threatening to break the dam of her eyes.

My fanfiction: M A S T E R L I S T

Zuko tossed and turned in his bed in a fitful attempt at sleep. He didn't want to sleep. He couldn't sleep and if he did all he would have were nightmares. He would see his uncle's disappointed face and Tsai's twisted with pain. His eyes snapped opened and he turned to see the red head sitting next to his bed.

"Boo!" She said mockingly at the startled prince. He let out a small scream as he fell of the bed.

"What do you think of my new outfit?" She continued to mock him as she made a gesture to the servant rags she was wearing. Her hair was darker and wore her bangs combed back to the side. Her eyes didn't gleam with the same light anymore.

He turned away shaking his head and grabbed a cloak off a hook and swung it over his shoulders as he snuck out of his room. Her mocking laughter haunting his conscience.

He knew where he was going.

xxx

Tsai was in deep slumber. It was the first time she had slept in an actual bed in what felt like forever. It was stiff and would stab at a spot in her back, but she didn't care. It was better than the floor in prison. Besides, there were also no rats here.

She didn't want to think of the awful stuff that Azula would have in mind to her tomorrow. Knowing her she probably had a ranked list of humiliating tasks for her to fulfill. She had also succeeded in infiltrating the Fire Nation's heart. The palace. It would only be a matter of time before she could begin skulking around the palace and communicating with the others.

Zuko knew where Tsai was being kept. It was the room closest to the royal wing. One which was usually used for nannies, nurses and personal aides of the royal family during certain seasons. He stepped in quietly making sure he wasn't seen by any midnight prying eyes and shut the door behind him quietly. The room was small, windowless and austere. With a small bed and a desk and a wooden chair. Her brown dress was tossed over the chair. He knew she wouldn't run away. So did the Fire Lord. After all she had sworn her life and loyalty to the crown.

He approached the bed and took a seat next to her sleeping form. The mattress lightly sinking under his weight. He was hurting. He still couldn't believe they had hurt each other like that. Despite the pain it brought him, he smiled lightly when he heard her light snoring and couldn't help himself. He brushed a stray hair from her forehead and rested his hand there for a second. She looked so different from the morning. So, at peace. There was no pain in her rest. He couldn't believe that her conscience wasn't in turmoil like his.

Her drowsy eyes opened slowly, and it took her that same second to react. They blazed as she clawed at his arm ready to shout. She wondered who would be in more trouble if he was here? And just what Ozai would do to his son if he was caught visiting a servant's sleeping quarters during the late hours of the evening.

He pressed a firm palm to her mouth. "Shh!!!" He hissed silencing her.

He wasn't expecting her to actually bite him and hard.

"Ow!" He cried out really not expecting that and removing his hand. She shoved him off the bed and pushed him to the ground. He landed with a loud thud. Quickly jumping to her bare feet, she stepped on his chest pinning him down looking down at him. She didn't care if she was only wearing sleeping garments which consisted of a peasant top bandeau covering her chest and a pair of loose brown shorts. She looked down at him with judgement in her cold eyes.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't scream bloody hell and let your vile sister and maniacal father find you here." She threatened stepping harder. She wanted to hurt him. Make him feel the same pain she was feeling.

He looked up at her wrapping a hand around her ankle gently.

"Tsai," he said her name in a strained breath. Her weight pushing down on his lungs.

"You're a coward and a snake and above all a traitor! Get out of my room! I never want to see you again!" She cried out removing herself from him not wanting to even be touched by him.

"That's going to be a little hard," he rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. "You're right. Considering I'm your personal slave!" She lashed out in fury.

"You stood by them and did nothing! You choose them over the only person who truly loved and cared for you!"

Zuko's eyes widened. He felt something which felt like hope stir inside of him.

"You.. You love me?"

Her face scrunched up in an even angrier scowl. Her nostrils flaring in fury.

"I am talking about your uncle!"

"My uncle!" He connected the dots in his head. He was also probably the person she loved most in this world. Zuko had no doubt that she would always pick her uncle over him. After all they were both basically the same person. Her sudden betrayal to him and newfound allegiance to the Fire Nation. It still made no sense to him.

"You betrayed him too.” He let out in a hollow tone. “Why?” He asked in suspicion with narrowed eyes. Something was off.

She avoided his eyes and shrugged carelessly.

"I don't know what happened between you and Uncle, but I know one thing about you. And you would never go against him. You would never bow to my father like that- and all that talk about honor?" It wasn't her.

She huffed and shook her head. Her dark eyes meeting his concerned ones.

"You don't know me." She paused for a moment. "You don't know anything!" She snapped. Her voice louder. "You don't even know what you're talking about. You really think I would go against my nation? Betray my own family? For what? Because your uncle asked me to?" She lied through her teeth attempting to sound like Azula did when she spoke.

"No," he said softly. "You wouldn't do it because it goes against you. Everything you stand for." He explained calmly.

"Oh, you mean my 'socialist wet-dream' about equality?" She let out a cruel laugh attempting to push his buttons. She wanted to hurt him as bad as he had hurt her. Grab his heart and crush it in the palm of her hand. "I told you long ago. That dream was dead. It's trash. You said it yourself. I am never going to accomplish anything grand and you were dead right. I will now live the remainder days of my life as what you always saw me as - a colonial peasant."

"Tsai, no-" He pleaded. "I- I was wrong." He hesitated looking as if he was being split in two. He appeared distraught.

"Don't- call me that. You have lost the privileged of even calling me by my name. From now on you will address me as a slave or a peasant because that's what I am. That's what you made me!"

Each one of her words was like a ice dagger. Deeply burying and twisting painfully inside of him ripping at his insides slowly, painfully. She was beyond livid.

"Tsai it was-" She interrupted him again.

"After all. That's what you called me in front of your father. You disgust me. I can't believe I- I can't believe I-"

It hurt her. He had hurt her. The only promised he had ever made to her was that nobody would hurt her and how poetic and ironic was it that he had been the only person to do so? She was so hurt. Her heart and mind in shambles and now she had been entrusted with this dangerous mission from General Iroh?

"Tsai! It was the only way of keeping you safe!" He finally snapped his temper flaring to match hers in frustration. She ignored his outburst and continued in her furious spiel.

"And me?" she suddenly scoffed continuing her rant. "I understand. I get it. Hey, it was fun. You used me because you were bored and lonely and a pathetic worm!" She stomped down her foot in fury. "Let's not forget that colonial women are basically whores!'" She spat out venomously.

"Tsai," he pleaded his voice edging to a dangerous growl as his patience stretched thin. "It wasn't like that at all!" He stepped closer. How could he convince her? Tell her truth if she wasn't willing to listen? He wanted to take her in his arms, hold her close. Tell her how sorry he was. At this point he was willing to get on his knees and beg.

"I don't believe you." Her nose wrinkled as her brows knitted in a deeper scowl. "I don't believe anything that comes out of your filthy lying mouth!"

"Yeah?" He challenged. He moved so fast she was almost knocked back by the headbutt when he slammed his mouth against hers hard.

Zuko held his stinging cheek as he stepped back. His soul was on fire. He felt as if he had been brought back to life. She ignited the dying passion inside of him.

"Stay away from me," She breathed dangerously. Tears threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes. He knew she felt it too.

"I used to believe there was light and peace inside of you. That you could change. That you could let it out and become a better man. That we could change the world around us, but now I'm not so sure..." She trailed off sadly as a stray tear slid down her cheek.

"You sound like uncle," he lamented.

"Good." She said firmly. "At least one of us does."

xxx

It was strange… Her betrayal to his Uncle. He still couldn't wrap his head around it. He had replayed the events of that day over and over in his head and they still made no sense. She stood by it and admitted it to his father. Yet still defended the man's words. Something wasn't adding up.

He quietly snuck out of the palace and began the long trek towards the prison tower that was located inside a hollow volcanic crater northwest of the capital city.

The Fire Nation prince stopped at the base of the stairs that led into the prison and looked up, focusing intently on of the many darkened windows.

"Who's there?" The guard that had been patrolling one of the prison's balconies called out loudly when he spotted Zuko.

Without saying a word, the scarred prince turned and walked away, the guard resuming his patrol behind him.

Zuko walked slowly through the halls of the Capital City Prison, the hood of his cloak pulled low over his head. Ahead of him, the guard on duty stiffened at the sound of his footsteps and whirled around.

"You again?" The guard snapped furiously as he pointed his spear at the scarred prince, "Stop where you are!"

Zuko lifted his head and the guard faltered, his eyes widening.

"Prince Zuko..."

Zuko grabbed the guard by the collar of his uniform and slammed him against the wall roughly, his spear clattering to the floor.

"I'm going in for a visit. You're going to stand guard here, and no one is going to know about this." Zuko growled lowly then he released the guard and entered the cell.

His breath caught slightly in his throat when he saw his uncle sitting in the middle of the metal cell at the back of the stone room, his gray hair hanging in scraggly tangles down his back.

"Uncle," Zuko rasped as he approached the metal bars and lowered the hood of his cloak, "It's me."

Iroh shifted so his back was to the metal bars and his nephew, a faint scowl marring his face.

"You brought this on yourself you know." Zuko stated as he stood in front of the metal bars that split half of his uncle's stone cell, "We could have returned together. You could have been a hero!"

Iroh shifted slightly on the thin mat he was sitting on, keeping his back to his nephew and not looking at him. Giving him the silent treatment.

"You have no right to judge me, Uncle!" Zuko spat furiously, feeling the harsh judgement in his uncle's deafening silence. "I did what I had to do in Ba Sing Se, and you're a fool for not joining me!"

Iroh's shoulders tensed slightly, but he continued to ignore his nephew.

"You're not going to say anything?" The scarred prince demanded, his voice cracking slightly before he snarled and whirled around, kicking up a small stool before destroying it with a punch and fire bending.

"You're a crazy old man!" Zuko shouted angrily at his uncle's back, "You're crazy! And if you weren't in jail, you'd be sleeping in the gutter!"

Zuko stormed out of the stone cell slamming the door behind him. Inside the cell, Iroh's lowered his head slightly and closed his eyes.

xxx

Tsai hadn't been able to sleep after Zuko's night visit. So by the crack of dawn she stood at the side of Azula's bed awaiting for the princess to awake. It would be so easy. She could smother the princess with a pillow and make a run for it. However, that would be counter productive.

Sometime later she awoke.

"Good morning Princess Azula," Tsai spoke in a tone with no hint of emotion when she awoke. "Good morning pet," Azula's smirk stretched across her face maliciously. How was it possible for somebody to wake up and already have malicious thoughts at this hour?

"Fetch my clothing and dress me," She instructed.

Without a choice she nodded and went off to get her clothes and bring them to the girl. Azula sat on the edge of her bed bringing her feet down and stretched. "Now dress me," she ordered.

“Oh, these?” She said as she picked up her royal garments. “Yes,” Azula repeated growing annoyed at the way she was looking at her clothes.

“I had a similar outfit back home,” she said in the most stuck up tone she could muster. “Very last year.” She spoke using the most judgmental tone she felt her mother would use.

“What do you know?” Azula snapped angrily. “Afterall you’re just a peasant!”

Tsai shrugged with a sly smile as she turned away and walked into Azula’s walk in closet hand picking out another outfit.

“I think this… Would suit the princess much better.” She pulled out a similar outfit and brought it to Azula slightly bowing her head before her.

She hated this. Hated being like this. She still wanted nothing more than to bury that knife Azula had so gracefully given her in their last physical encounter into her shoulder. An eye for an eye. But for now, she had no choice but to play nice. Azula watched her cautiously with narrowed eyes before making the girl dress her.

“See?” She said adjusting the back of her dress. Tsai wasn’t sure what to say next. She was egg shelling around the princess. One wrong move and it was all over, but how would she accomplish this? How did one become friends with a person like Azula? Did she have any friends at all?

“I wish I was half as pretty as you.” The girl added stroking Azula’s already swollen ego. On par, satisfied, Azula smirked before running a hand through her dark hair.

Tsai felt dirty saying such things to such a horrible person. This wasn’t her. This wasn’t what she was supposed to be doing.

"I've also got an attire for you," Azula suddenly said said. "I won't let my pet be seen wearing such atrocious rags."

The clothes she had been given consisted of a crimson maroon skirt that reached her mid tight and had one part in the front that was longer than the rest. It had a golden embroidered trim like most traditional Fire Nation clothes and fastened at the waist with a thin gold string. Azula had made her wear a crop top which revealed most of her abdomen. Something she really wasn’t comfortable with and wouldn’t usually wear.

"Perfect," Azula said as her eyes snaked over her servant’s body.

"One final touch." She approached her and standing before her put an actual dog's necklace around her neck. The accessory was bold, thick and dark. It was meant to be both demanding and humiliating. A terrible way of dehumanizing her into what she was in Azula's eyes, a pet.

Azula smiled wickedly her hands lingering on the other girl's neck for a moment.

First Azula made Tsai go and fetch her breakfast bring it to her bedroom chambers, feed it to her and then return it to the kitchen. Afterwards she made her brew some of her ‘famous’ tea which she spit out in her face and claimed it tasted like “shitty leaf water” and made her brew the same herb combination all over again.

Tsai would’ve been lying if she didn’t admit she considered poisoning her on the spot.

Azula made her do this several times until she grew bored. Afterwards she made her sit behind her and brush every single strand of her voluminous midnight black hair at least one-hundred times. Then she made her massage her feet. Organize her closet just for her to state she hated it and have her completely re-arrange the entire thing all over again.

Azula had gone who knows were to do who knows what when Tsai lay outside of her bedroom chambers polishing the palace marble floors with a dirty rag.

Her eyes couldn’t help but wonder around the grand palace as she mapped out the structure of the building in her head.

“Be silent and observant. Take note of everything and all detail-“

She shifted uncomfortably stopping the torturous polishing for a moment.

“-You will know what to do when the time is right.”

She had an idea of what Iroh had meant by that, but how? How was she to get away from the palace? Sneak off and away from everyone without getting caught?

“Are you just going to lay there like a fat cow or are you going to finish polishing my floors?” Azula suddenly stood before her hands on her waist.

The girl swallowed her pride and retort and turned her attention back to mindlessly polishing floors.

"Come with me," She barked out a contradicting order.

Tsai sighed and dropped the rag following after her 'Master.'

xxx

Zuko lounged on the picnic blanket on a cliff watching the sunset over the ocean with Mai, leaning against him, a content expression on her usually blank face.

This was painful. It reminded him of his first date with Tsai in Ba Sing Se. It was like cutting an open wound and applying lemon to it. It stung.

“Orange is such an awful color." Mai mused idly as she stared at the sunset.

"It's so beautiful," He remembered the look of awe on the colonial girl's face as they stood watching the sunset in the Earth Kingdom.

Zuko forced himself to remain relaxed. He thought of the golden light reflecting against her skin and her vibrant colored her and how happy the two of them had been that day.

"Stay away from me,"She breathed dangerously.

Her cold words still stung him. Those four simple words weighted so much. He shifted uncomfortably and Mai noticed and looked at him quizzically.

Mai tilted her head to look up at him with a soft expression, "Don’t worry. I don't hate you," she said looking at her through her full dark lashes.

"I don't hate you too." Zuko murmured back, leaning forward slightly to kiss her as her hand came up to cup his unscarred cheek.

"Ahem." A voice interrupted.

Zuko pulled away from Mai, ignoring the faint feeling of guilt he felt and turned to glare at his sister with an annoyed expression. His eyes went wide when he saw Tsai standing behind her and the revealing outfit his sister had forced her to wear. He swallowed nervously. Regardless she looked pale, almost sick, her eyes bore no signs of a jealous fire.

They looked dead as they met his.

He could feel Mai hugging his arm tighter as she looked between him and Azula's servant immediately sensing the growing tension in the air.

"Zuko, could I have a word with you?" Azula asked with false politeness as she stood near the couple, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Can't you see we're busy?" Zuko demanded sharply and wrapped his arm tighter around his new girlfriend.

Azula narrowed her eyes then smiled slyly and said in an offhand manner, "Oh Mai, Ty Lee needs your help untangling her braid."

Mai pulled away from Zuko and reluctantly got her feet, "Sounds pretty serious," she spoke in the same full, emotionless tone she said everything and anything.

She walked past Azula and Tsai glaring at both of them her from the corner of her eye. Azula glanced over her shoulder at the other girl's retreating back then turned to look at her brother with a sardonic expression.

"So, I've heard you've been to visit your uncle fatso in the prison tower."

Zuko surged to his feet with a furious expression, "That guard told you!"

Tsai flinched slightly at the way Azula spoke about Iroh.

"No." Azula replied flippantly with a thin smile, "You did. Just now."

'Iroh.…' Tsai thought sadly. 'So he went to see him hmm..'

She thought about Iroh with worry. Concerned for his well-being. She hoped she knew what he was doing. That he was okay.

Zuko heaved a sigh and sat back down on the blanket, his arms resting on his bent knees, "Okay, you caught me. What is it that you want, Azula?"

"Actually, nothing. Believe it or not, I'm looking out for you." Azula said, her voice actually sounding sincere, "If people find out you've been to see Uncle, they'll think you're plotting with him. Just be careful, Dum-Dum."

Azula let out what sounded like a scoff.

"I smell a rat." She said. "There's rumors of a traitor amongst us. Somebody has been leaking out information from the palace. Just the other day they shot down a fire hawk leaving the Nation with confidential war plans."

She turned on her heel. "You don't want people to think its you, right?" She turned her attention to her servant. "Now, let's go." She ordered.

Zuko watched quietly as his sister walked back down the cliff. He turned to look at the setting sun. Tsai's sad eyes were lost as she gazed at the sunset. It saddened her heart. The memory of the last time the two of them had looked at the sunset. He looked at her and stretched a hand out to her. With a scowl and a sharp turn, she shifted away quickly and followed after Azula.

Zuko's eyes turned back to the setting sun. It was no use. No matter where he turned, he would see her. He now had to stifle the guilt that surged up inside him, making his throat close up and his chest feel heavy. Alone, he silently admitted to himself that he loved her. That Mai would never be able to replace the gaping hole she had left in his chest. That he had been happiest those last days in Ba Sing Se when he lived a simpler life with her and his uncle.

He then buried the feeling deep inside him, locking it away.

Xxx

'What did you expect? Hm.' She walked alongside him that night. The imaginary spectrum that had become his conscience. 'You really expected me to take your filthy hand and what? Watch the sunset with you after I see you KISSING ANOTHER GIRL?'  The imaginary girl in his head said with a jealousy he was more familiar with.

"Listen." He growled out almost sounding like her. "I miss you and you won't have me back. So, I'm trying to forget you. Can you make it easier for me and just go away?!"

'Fat chance,' she clicked her tongue. Hands on waist. On that outfit her sister had been making her wear. "Besides, I'm not all that bad to look at right?"She smirked and toyed with the dog collar she had been forced to wear.

He felt the heat rising to his cheeks and again struck her imaginary embodiment making it vanish. An evil laugh resounding in his head.

Zuko walked into his Uncle's cell and crouched down beside the bars, sliding a small basket of food between the bars.

"I brought you some komodo-chicken." He said quietly to his uncle's back, "I know you don't care for it, but I figure it beats prison food." He sat back on his heels and stared blankly at his hands, "I admit it, I have everything I always wanted, but it's not at all how I thought it would be. The truth is, I need your advice."

Zuko gripped the bars, his knuckles turning white, "I think the Avatar is still alive, I know he's out there, I'm losing my mind. I'm hearing voices, seeing things. Azula has taken Tsai as her personal servant, I need to help her. I can't stop thinking of the malicious ways in which she is torturing her." He stared at his uncle's back pleadingly and his voice turned desperate, "Please, Uncle, I'm so confused! I need your help." He pleaded.

Iroh didn't move and anger filled Zuko, burning his chest even as his heart pounded painfully against his ribs.

"Forget it, I'll solve it myself!" The scarred prince snarled as he stood up and stalked towards the door, "Waste away in here for all I care!"

Zuko hesitated a moment and glanced back at, but his uncle didn't move, so he slammed the door behind him. In the cell, Iroh bowed his head, a single tear sliding down his cheek.

xxx

Hiding in the shadow of his cloak's hood, Zuko walked silently down a dark alley until he reached the middle. He lowered his hood and looked around calmly, turning his head slightly when a noise reached his ears. He turned around completely and stared impassively at the large man with a metal leg and arm standing in front of him.

"You sure you weren't followed?" Zuko asked coolly and the man nodded slightly, "I've heard about you. They say you're good at what you do, and even better at keeping secrets. The Avatar is alive. I want you to find him and end him."

The man stared blankly at Zuko, the third eye tattooed on his forehead briefly illuminated by the light of the moon.

Xxx

Zuko was making his way back to the Royal Palace when he saw a retreating form sneaking back into the palace. He lowered his hood as he observed from a safe distance.

He hid amongst the shadows and waited. Carefully observing. It was Tsai. He would recognize that mane of crimson shades hair just anywhere.

His eyebrows went up in shock as Azula's words from earlier resounded in his head.

"There's rumors of a traitor amongst us. Somebody has been leaking out information from the palace…"

He once again felt that sunstone burning in his pocket. Pulling it out he looked at it in the darkness of the night and prayed his eyes were playing tricks on him.

xxx

FIRST https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/621142853126602752/sunburn-prince-zuko-1

NEXT https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/621586957538099200/sunburn-prince-zuko-23

PREV https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/621569264636362752/sunburn-prince-zuko-21

CHAPTER MASTERLIST