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boricuacherry-blog · 2 years

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Chris Cornell grew up in Seattle, but described his neighborhood as "very white. Urban but not really urban, suburban but not really suburbia. It was lower-middle-class white." It was a place where he was introduced to drugs and alcohol early on.

"We were all selling drugs by the time we were 12, or doing them," he told Rolling Stone in 1994. "Pot or pills or anything that was easily available. My neighbors to the south had two boys who were probably in their late teens when I was about 11, and they were just huge into drugs. I remember walking by the basement window one time, and this one dude was shooting something at me from a syringe out the window. I don't even know what it was, but it was shooting 15 feet, and I'm walking by, trying to dodge this thing. Those were the kind of people who lived near me." He had said he also started drinking at that age.

The child of two alcoholics, his parents divorced when he was a teenager, after which he and his siblings adopted their mother's maiden name, Cornell, as their surrname.

Cornell attended Catholic school and after being kicked out of eighth grade (twice), he was sent to a vocational school, which he attended only briefly, bringing an end to his formal education.

"It was mainly for degenerate young people," said Cornell, who was the youngest of six (aka the "Bobby Brady," he once quipped), two brothers and three sisters. "It was the last ditch for kids that couldn't go anywhere else. The concept for me was entirely wrong because it was sort of learn at your own pace, do your own thing, and my own thing was not school. So I'd go there and not do anything at all. It was just a waste of time." (He would later start a foundation to help troubled kids in 2012, although it's unclear where the money is going, as his wife was put in charge of it).

Before becoming a successful musician, Cornell worked as a busboy, a dishwasher, a fish monger at a seafood wholesaler, and a sous-chef at a Ballard seafood restaurant.

The drug thing stuck with Cornell - or should we say surrounded him. His roommate Andy Wood, of the band Mother Love Bone, died of a heroin overdose in 1990, inspiring Cornell's band/album Temple of the Dog. He struggled himself in the 90s and early aughts, seeking treatment for addiction in 2002. (He told the Mirror in 2012 it was "mostly alcohol - from my late teens until my late 30s.")

As for his decision to go to rehab, he told Launch in 2007, "I really had to come to the conclusion, the sort of humbling conclusion that, guess what, I'm no different than anybody else, I've got to sort of ask for help - not something I ever did, ever. And then part two of that is, like, accept it when it comes and, you know, believe what people tell me. And trusting in what I have been told, and then seeing that work."

In 2015, while promoting his final solo album, Higher Truth, he talked about how his sobriety helped his music but noted he was still trying to "kind of figure out who the substance-free guy is."

"If i think about the evolution of my life as it appears in songs for example, Higher Truth is a great example of a record I wouldn't have been able to write, and part of that is in essence because there was a period of time there where I didn't expect to be here," he told Rolling Stone Australia. "And now not only do I expect to be here, and I'm not going anywhere, but I've had the last 12 years of my life being free of susbtances to kind of figure out who the substance-free guy is, because he's a different guy. Just by brain chemistry, it can't be avoided. I'm not the same, I don't think the same, I don't react the same. And my outlook isn't necessarily the same. My creative endeavors aren't necessarily the same. And one of the great things about that is it enabled me to kind of keep going artistically and find new places and shine the light into new corners where I hadn't really gone before. And that feels really good."

Shortly after getting out of rehab, in 2004, he met Vicky Karayiannis, a Greek Paris-based publicist, who also had a brother named Nicholas, a.k.a. DJ Nick Blast, who worked as an executive at a NY restaurant (leaving wife Susan Silvers).They got married and talent manager Jeff Kwatinetz was Cornell's best man, and Brittany Murphy, who was engaged to Kwatinetz at the time, was the maid of honor.

Genealogy:

Chris's father, Edward F. "Ed" Boyle, is a pharmacist from Everett, Washington. Chris's mother, Karen Ruth Cornell, is an accountant from Seattle, Washington. His ancestry is Norweigan, Irish (emphasis on the Irish because he looks VERY Irish to me), English, Scottish, Northern Irish, Welsh, German, French, and remote Manx and Swiss-German. His parents were married by a Catholic priest in 1957.

In an interview on Howard Stern's show, circa 2007, Chris appeared to state that his mother is Jewish. This is not accurate.

Chris's patrilineal grandfather was Edward John Boyle (the son of Dennis Peter Boyle and Anna Louisa "Louise" Zahler). Edward was born in Washington. Dennis was born in Renfrew, Renfrewshire, Scotland to Irish emigrants, Terrence/Terrance Boyle, of County Silgo, and Mary McVey. Louisa was the daughter of German emigrants, Michael Zahler, of Trier, Rhine (now Rhineland-Palatinate), and Ann Katarina/Catherine Stenger, of Dillishausen, Lamerdingen, Bavaria.

Chris's paternal grandmother was Anona Ruth Olson/Olsen (the daughter of Eivin/Ivan Olaus Olsen, later Olsen, and of Carrie Lorena Jones/McGuire). Anona was born in California. Eivin was a Norweigan emigrant, from Stavanger, Rogaland, and was the son of Ole Olsen Blaasenberg, later Vaaland, and of Andrine Tonnesdatter Bjuland.

Chris's maternal grandfather was Ralph Trivett Cornell (the son of Julian Trivett Cornell and Emily Keillor Emmerson). Ralph was born in Rothesay, Novia Scotia, Canada. Julian was the son of Robert/Ralph Filmore Trivett Cornell, whose parents were Irish, and of Anne/Annie Eudora Maxon/Maxim. Emily was the daughter of Henry Robert Emmerson and Emily Charlotte Record. Chris's great-great-grandfather Henry was a lawyer, businessperson, politician, and philanthropist, who as a member of the Liberal Party, was Premier of New Brunswick, from October 29, 1897 to August 31, 1900, among other duties.

Chris's maternal grandmother was Marion/Marian M. MacNutt (the daughter of James Frederick MacNutt and Clarabell/Claribel Josephine Hubbell). Marion was born in Washington. James was a Canadian emigrant, from Darmley, Prince Edward Island, and was the son of George Beairsto MacNutt and Annie McGougan Rodd. Clarabell was born in Wisconsin, the daughter of Fred Keaton Hubbell and Annetta Alta Remer.

Chris's matrilineal ancestry can be traced back to his fourth great-grandmother, Elisabeth Hoffmann, who was born circa 1821, in Hesse, Germany.

#chris cornell #bio #biography

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shesey · 2 years

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Elif Shafak’s The Forty Rules of Love | Excerpts

She had always known that they did not connect on any deep level, but connecting emotionally need not be a priority on a married couple’s list, she thought, especially for a man and a woman who had been married for so long. She never confronted the death of anything, be it a habit, a phase, or a marriage, even when the end stood right in front of her, plain and inevitable. And it happened fast, so fast in fact that Ella had no time to realize what was happening and to be on guard, if one could ever be on guard against love. She started to cry, unable to hold back this continuing sadness that had, without her knowledge, become a part of who she was. It wasn’t fair to the angel. But then again, this world was not known for its justice, was it? They say there is a thin line between losing yourself in God and losing your mind. You see, dervish, it wasn’t always like this. Violence wasn’t my element, but it is now. When God forgets about us down here, it falls upon us common people to toughen up and restore justice. So next time you talk to Him, you tell Him that. Let Him know that when He abandons his lambs, they won’t meekly wait to be slaughtered. They will turn into wolves. She had so much love to give and yet no one demanding it. Or how come she felt so lonely even though she had a large, loving family? That was when I realized that although I loved my parents and craved their love, they were strangers to me. I hunt everywhere for a life worth living and a knowledge worth knowing. Having roots nowhere, I have everywhere to go. I have seen the worst and the best in humanity. Nothing surprises me anymore. No matter who we are or where we live, deep inside we all feel incomplete. It’s like we have lost something and need to get it back. Just what that something is, most of us never find out. And of those who do, even fewer manage to go out and look for it. When something needs to be said, I’ll say it even if the whole world grabs me by the neck and tells me to keep quiet. Cities are erected on spiritual columns. Like giant mirrors, they reflect the hearts of their residents. The Tree of the Brokenhearted. Those with broken hearts write down their names on pieces of paper and tie these to the branches, praying for their hearts to be healed. One thing that has helped me personally in the past was to stop interfering with the people around me and getting frustrated when I couldn’t change them. Instead of intrusion or passivity, may I suggest submission? Submission is a form of peaceful acceptance of the terms of the universe, including the things we are currently unable to change or comprehend. But knowledge is like brackish water at the bottom of an old vase unless it flows somewhere. Ella found it odd that sex had once been so important in her life, and now when it was gone, she felt relieved, almost liberated. The glow between them, the light that had helped them to navigate the uncharted waters of marriage, keeping their desire afloat, even after three kids and twenty years, was simply not there anymore. An outsider watching them might assume they were a perfect family, as graceful as the wisps of smoke slowly dissolving in the air. Something inside Ella snapped. She understood with chilling clarity and calm that despite her inexperience and timidity, one day she would abandon it all: her kitchen, her dog, her children, her neighbors, her husband, her cookbooks and homemade-bread recipes... she would simply walk out into the world where dangerous things happened all the time. Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, beware too much ecstacy, whereas love says, oh never mind! Take the plunge! Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortless reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures. But eventually it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied. Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at night and see the dawn. She sat curled up in her rocking chair, and wondered how she, hurt and cynical as she was, could ever experience love again. Love was for those looking for some rhyme or reason in this wildly spinning world. But what about those who had long given up the quest? The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new Self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become string, Love can only be perfected in pain. The quest for Love changes us. There is no seeker among us those who search for Love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you start to change within and without. She had read in women’s magazines that families who regularly had a proper breakfast together were more cohesive and harmonious than those in which each member rushed out the door half hungry. And though she firmly believed in this research, she had yet to experience the joyful breakfast the magazines wrote about. Each time I say good-bye to a place I like, I feel like I am leaving a part of me behind. I guess whether we choose to travel as much as Marco Polo did or stay in the same spot from cradle to grave, life is a sequence of births and deaths. Moments are born and moments die. For new experiences to come to light, old ones need to wither away. Don’t you think? Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? Personally, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with sadness. Just the opposite - hypocrisy made people happy, and truth made them sad. Though it is less profitable, I find begging much easier than praying. At least I am not deceiving anyone. Your hand opens and closes all the time. If it did not, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding. The two are as beautifully balanced and coordinated as the wings of a bird. At first, I liked what he said. It warmed by heart to think of joy and sorrow as dependent on each other as a bird’s wings. Despite their seemingly endless differences, all of these people gave off a similar air of incompleteness, of the works in progress that they were, each an unfinished masterwork. Where do you get these ridiculous ideas? Do you think God is an angry, moody patriarch watching us from the skies above so that He can rain stones and frogs on our heads the moment we err? Befitting her general mood, Ella woke up sad. But not sad as in weepy and unhappy, only sad as in unwilling to smile and take things lightly. She felt as though she had reached a milestone she was not prepared for. Birthdays have always made me happy, but this morning I woke up with a heaviness in my chest... I kept wondering, is the way I’ve lived my life the way I want to continue from now on? And then a fearful feeling came over me. What if both a yes and a no might generate equally disastrous consequences? Things become manifest through opposites. Behind all hardships was a larger scheme. If the same drink made some merry and tipsy and others wicked and aggressive, shouldn’t we hold the drinkers responsible instead of the drink? We raised our glasses and toasted together, hard though it was to believe, to a God who could love and forgive us even when we ourselves clearly failed to do so. She asked God to either provide her with a love that would absorb her whole being or else make her tough and careless enough not to mind the absence of love in her life. Some men have a way of wanting to sleep with prostitutes and yet at the same time insulting them. If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. The past is a whirlpool. If you let it dominate your present moment, it will suck you in. Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That’s the hardest part and that’s what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Do not go with the flow. Be the flow. If God’s paradise is reserved for people of your kind, I’d rather burn in hell anyhow. Doubts are good. It means you are alive and searching. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. To him, people who had not made their heart their primary guide to life, who could not open up to love and follow its path the way a sunflower follows the sun, were not really alive. Aziz was that rare type of man a woman could love without losing her self-respect. “What will be, will be” has never sat right with me. The rest is not in my hands. And this is what the Sufis call the fifth element - the void. The inexplicable and uncontrollable divine element that we as human beings cannot comprehend and yet should always be aware of. I don’t believe in “inaction” if by that you mean doing nothing at all and showing no deep interest in life. But I do believe in respecting the fifth element. What ingredients do you think you are putting in the collective strew of humanity. It always made me both immensely sad and elated to listen to a town sleep, wondering what sorts of stories were being lived behind closed doors, what sorts of stories I could have lived had I chosen another path. But I hadn’t made any choice. If anything, the path had chosen me. The fragility and brevity of life struck me once again, and I recalled another rule: Life is a temporary loan. As I spoke, I watched the dervish’s expression change from subtle scorn to open acknowledgement and from there into the soft smile of someone recognizing his own thoughts in the words of another. Fanatics of all persuasions were unbearable, but deep inside she thought that fanatics of Islam were the worst. In a world beset with mistranslations, there was no use in being resolute about any topic, because it might as well be that even our strongest convictions were caused by a simple misunderstanding. In general, one shouldn’t be too rigid about anything because “to live meant to constantly shift colors.” Time centered on this very moment, and anything other than now was an illusion. For the same reason, he believed that love had nothing to do with “plans for tomorrow” or “memories of yesterday.” Love could only be here and now. There are times I want to rebel against having been created a woman. It was as if she were waiting, confidently and patiently, for something momentous to happen. It was the laughter of a woman who had never learned not to pay too much attention to the judgments of others. It was as if her withdrawal into a calm, private space of her own stripped away the polite decorum behind which her marriage had slept undisturbed for many years. Now that the pretenses between them were gone, she could see their defects and mistakes in all their nakedness. She had stopped pretending. They they remained silent, acknowledging the blunt fact that they didn’t have much else to talk about. Not anymore. It was precisely this new aloofness that scared her husband. Ella could understand him, because deep inside it scared her, too. A month ago if David had taken even a tiny step to improve their marriage, she would have felt grateful. Any attempt on his part would have delighted her. Not anymore. Now she suspected that her life wasn’t real enough. How had she arrived at this point? A strange calm had descended upon Ella. She felt more stable than she’d ever been, even as she was swiftly gliding away from the life she’d known. Nothing had changed, and yet nothing was the same anymore. I keep telling myself that this is a temporary stage. Rumi used to be everything to me. Now he is a stranger. I never knew it was possible to live with someone under the same roof, sleep in the same bed, and still feel that he was not really there. But if you ask me, anyplace where there are more than two people is bound to become a battleground. Bountiful is your life, full and complete. Or so you think, until someone comes along and makes you realize what you have been missing all this time. Like a mirror that reflects what is absent rather than present, he shows you the void in your soul - the void you have resisted seeing. That person can be a lover, a friend, or a spiritual master. Sometimes it can be a child to look after. What matters is to find the soul that will complete yours. It’s as if for years on end you compile a personal dictionary. In it you give your definition of every concept that matters to you, such as truth, happiness, or beauty. At every major turning point in life, you refer to this dictionary, hardly ever feeling the need to questions its premises. Then one day a stranger comes and snatches your precious dictionary and throws it away. All your definitions need to be redefined, he says. It’s time for you to unlearn everything you know. And you, for some reason unbeknownst to your mind but obvious to your heart, instead of raising objections or getting cross with him, gladly comply. This is what Shams has done to me. Our friendship has taught me so much. But more than that, he has taught me to unlearn everything I knew. Is there a way to grasp what love means without becoming a lover first? Love cannot be explained. It can only be experienced. Love cannot be explained, yet it explains all. She questioned every detail in life, waging battles against society. You like distinctions because you think they make life easier. In this world take pity on three kinds of people. The rich man who has lost his fortune, the well-respected man who has lost his respectability, and the wise man who is surrounded by ignorants. As hurtful as it is, being slandered is ultimately good for one on the path. Destiny took me on a different route altogether, one of unexpected twists and turns, each of which changed me so profoundly and irrevocably that after a while the original destination lost its significance. Either way, I suddenly knew that I didn’t need to go anywhere. Not anymore. I was sick and tired of always longing to be somewhere else, somewhere beyond, always in a rush despite myself. I was already where I wanted to be. All I needed was to stay and look within. Through an illness, accident, loss, or fright, one way or another, we all are faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental, and more compassionate and generous. Twenty years of marriage, twenty years of sleeping in the same bed, sharing the same shower, eating the same food, raising three kids... and what it all added up to was silence. She didn’t know what surprised her more: to hear that David knew about Rumi or that he cared about what she read. I don’t blame you, Ella. I deserve it. I neglected you, and you looked for compassion elsewhere. Thanks for your concern, young man, but sometimes nasty encounters are not only inevitable, they are necessary. A man with many opinions but no questions! There’s something so wrong with that. It must be a huge relief, and an easy way out, to think the devil is always outside of us. The message is that the torment a person can inflict upon himself is endless. Hell is inside us, and so is heaven. But having spent my whole life regretting the things I failed to do, I see no harm in doing something regrettable for a change. Not knowing what to say, I stared into her wounded eyes and wondered how she, young and fragile as she was, had found the courage to abandon the only life she knew. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough. Where there is love, there is bound to be heartache. Strange things happened to people when they were ready for the unusual and the unexpected. In that long moment, his eyes were the eyes of a man who had neither the strength nor the emotion left in him to stop his wife from going to another man. Mawlana is writing verses. They are beautiful. Sham’s absence is turning him into a poet. I don’t know about that, but it is true that I find silence painful these days. Words give me openings to break through the darkness in my heart. Wherever he saw any kind of mental boundary, a prejudice or a taboo, he took the bull by the horns and confronted it. Because of him I learned the value of madness and have come to know the taste of loneliness, helplessness, slander, seclusion, and finally, heartbreak. Abandon security and stay in frightful places! The poems do not belong to me. I am only a vehicle for the letters that are placed in my mouth. Traveling to a new place often engendered a dreadful sense of loneliness and sadness in the soul of a man. But in chess, just as in life, there were moves that you made for the sake of winning and there were moves you made because they were the right thing to do. I knew I had reached the age to marry, but I also knew that girls who got married changed forever. I slept peacefully that night, feeling exultant and determined. Little did I know that I was making the most common and the most painful mistake women have made all throughout the ages; to naively think that with their love they can change the men they love. There is no such thing as early or late in life. Everything happens at the right time. In every wedding celebration, there was a mourning for the virgin who was soon to become a wife and a mother. It made my blood boil that society imposed such ridiculous rules on its individuals. These codes of honor had less to do with the harmony God created than with the order human beings wanted to sustain. I felt a strong need to run away from everything, not only from this house, this marriage, this town, but also from this body I had been given. It pleased me immensely that he appreciated my thoughts and encouraged me to think more widely. The way to a man’s heart can sometimes take a woman far away from herself, my dear. You see, Ella, all I can give you is the present moment. That is all I have. But the truth is, no one has more than that. It is just that we like to pretend we do. It is never too late to ask yourself, Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within? After grief comes another season. Another valley. Another you. And though I know that there are no words that can express this inner journey of mine, I believe in words. I am a believer of words. Every winner is inclined to think he will be triumphant forever. Every loser tends to fear that he is going to be beaten forever. But both are wrong for the same reason: Everything changes except for the face of God. Little by little, one turns forty, fifty, and sixty and, with each major decade, feels more complete. You need to keep walking, though there’s no place to arrive at. With that knowledge we dervishes will dance our way through love and heartbreak even if no one understands what we are doing. And that is how Ella had come to understand that if there was anything worse in the eyes of society than a woman abandoning her husband for another man, it was a woman abandoning her future for the present moment.

#elif shafak #the forty rules of love #feminist book

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baroquebucky · 3 years

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love

a/n: hi hi !! here is another fic inspired by one of my fave bts songs <33 hope u all enjoy lmk what u think !! pls excuse any typos

bucky was cold and sad before you, now he is warm and happy, most of all, he’s in love

word count: 3k

masterlist

Bucky woke up from another nightmare, a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. He let out a shaky breath, looking around his empty apartment. He got up and washed his face, looking at himself in the mirror before tearing his gaze away.

Bucky didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, busying himself until sunrise, when he left his apartment and walked to park nearby.

That’s where he met you.

You were playing fetch with your dog, nearly tumbling over every time he jumped on you to get the ball from your hand, laughing as he would sprint away from you, tongue sticking out.

Bucky smiled at the sight, wishing he had a let of his own. You caught him staring at your dog and smiled, saying a quick ‘hello!’ and calling for you dog to come back.

Bucky returned a smile, the path he was on leading him towards where you stood. Your dog bounded over to you, ball in mouth and dropping it at your feet.

“do you wanna pet him?” You smiled at bucky, your dog staring at him wearily as he stopped near you.

“uh- he doesn’t seem like a fan” Bucky chuckled and you shook your head, scratching behind your dogs ear.

“he’s just protective, his name is ace” you smiled, walking towards Bucky slowly, ace following suit and sniffing at Bucky’s boots.

Ace warmed up to bucky quickly, sitting at his feet and waiting for his payment of pats. Bucky smiled, crouching down to pet him, the dogs soft fur against his hand made him smile.

You smiled at the interaction, thinking of what to say next, you knew this was the Bucky Barnes and you didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

“I’m y/n” you spoke as Bucky got back up, putting his gloves back on quickly. He turned to face you, a charming smile on his face.

“I’m Bucky” he replied, blushing as he finally saw your face, and wow were you breathtaking.

Your eyes met and you both blushed, you struggled to find words to keep the conversation going, not wanting him to leave so soon.

Is this love?

“why are you up so early” you asked, throwing the ball so ace could chase after it, still full of energy.

He paused for a moment before answering, “just an early bird” he smiled, you nodded. “what about you?” he asked, standing next to you as ace came back, dropping the ball at his feet this time.

“i have to tire him out before i go to work, so i gotta wake up early” you smiled, yawning not long after. You blushed and mumbled a quick ‘sorry’ and Bucky smiled at you.

Ace pranced back, no longer wanting to run around and play, only wanted to get back to his cozy bed and lounge for the rest of the day.

“we should get going, this guy makes me carry him to the car and up the stairs if he’s too tired” you laughed, bucky smiled and said goodbye, giving ace a few final pats before saying goodbye to him too.

Sometimes i know, sometimes i don’t

Bucky thought about you and your four legged friend for the rest of the day, wondering if you had always been there when he went for walks, was he too caught up in his own mind to even realize?

Bucky felt the day go by fast, feeling lighter than he had been the day before, talking to his neighbors a bit more and feeling tired by the time the clock hit 12 am rather than the usual 3 am.

He woke up early the next day, another nightmare shaking him awake, checking the clock it read 5:54 am, the sun barely about to rise.

He got up, changing and washing his face, brushing his teeth and heading out the door in 30 minutes.

The sun was up as he walked to the park, keeping an eye out for you, and sure enough there you were, this time throwing a frisbee to entertain ace. You looked exhausted and bucky felt a pang in his chest, how long did you sleep?

Your gaze me Buckys and you smiled brightly, perking up a bit as he walked closer.

“good morning bucky!” You smiled, ace running towards him, his frisbee in his mouth as he jumped to greet the super soldier.

“good morning y/n, and good morning ace!” He smiled, putting on a higher pitched voice for the dog who wagged his tail happily, hitting the mans leg with the frisbee.

Bucky took the frisbee, throwing it so ace could chase after it, you both smiled at your dog, running as fast as he could to catch the disk.

“how’d you sleep?” You asked, noticing the bags under his eyes, he shrugged.

“as well as i usually do. You?” He asked, trying to mask his concern.

“it was okay, wish i could’ve gotten more though” you smiled rubbing your burning eyes before throwing the frisbee once more.

Bucky nodded in agreement, the two of you making small talk until you and ace left once again.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked, putting a leash on ace and walking with Bucky towards your car. Bucky smiled brightly, nodding his head.

“yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow” he replied, already looking forward to it.

You are the one who will give meaning to my memories

For two weeks you and bucky met up and played with ace at the park during early mornings, sometimes walking around the park and talking about your days and what you had to do. Neither one of you prying too much, just enjoying each other’s company.

Bucky reminisced on the memories with a fond smile as he told Steve about you.

“no yeah she’s great, her dog is really cute too” bucky spoke, giddy to see you on Monday.

“why don’t you ask her out then?” Steve questioned and bucky shook his head, not knowing how he would even approach the situation.

The following Monday you greeted bucky with a smile, ace bounding over to him in excitement.

As the two of you fell into routine, Steve’s words rung in his ears, deciding to take a leap of faith.

“would you- do you maybe wanna get dinner someday? together?” Bucky asked, a charming smile on his face as ace wagged his tail, looking up at you, almost as if saying ‘do it! say yes!’

“uh- yeah I’d love that” you smiled at bucky, both of you relieved that the you weren’t alone in wanting more time together.

Before i knew you my heart was filled with straight lines

Bucky was excited for your first date, putting on his best clothes and getting some flowers for you on the way, knocking on your door and heading aces familiar bark.

You opened the door, wearing a nice and casual outfit, letting Bucky in and thanking him for the flowers.

“I’m gonna just put these in water, feel free to sit down” you smiled, hurrying around to finish as quick as possible.

Bucky nodded, taking a seat on your couch and looking around, your home was so, homey. Ace smiling proudly as Bucky pet him.

“okay shall we?” You laughed and bucky smiled, saying goodbye to ace as you closed the door and headed out. Bucky offered you his arm and you gladly took it, walking down the stairs with your arms linked.

“ace makes you carry him all the way up these?” He asked in shock and you nodded, letting out a small chuckle.

“don’t let him fool you he is very evil” you teased, Bucky widened his eyes and nodded his head.

“note to self, never get on aces bad side” he smiled as you laughed, continuing to make easy conversation for the rest of the night.

Bucky found himself being nicer to Sam and the rest of the team, hanging out with them more and even cracking jokes.

“you don’t stare anymore” sam spoke, a smile on his face as steve turned to look at bucky.

“Hm, he doesn’t” steve smirked and bucky rolled his eyes.

“got tired of looking at your face is all” he snickered, making the two other men laugh, bucky took a sip from his beer.

“he’s seeing a girl y’know” steve whispered and bucky groaned as Sam cheered. Bucky couldn’t help but smile as he thought of you. It had only been a week since your first date and he already wanted to take you out again, despite having seen you this morning.

I’d like to be in your novel as a lover

Time passed and you and bucky got closer, going on more dates and texting each other during the day, even calling each other when one of you couldn’t sleep.

Bucky told you about his nightmares, telling you how he would always wake up, too afraid to go back to sleep so he would wait until sunrise and go for a walk.

You told him how you had trouble sleeping, sometimes your mind would just never stop, other times you just had too much work.

Within two months bucky has asked you out, a bouquet of roses for you and treats for ace, he has set up a picnic for you during the sunset, getting your favorite foods and talking the entire evening, finally asking you out when the moon had risen.

I’m just a human, you erode all my edges and turn me into love

You made bucky a better person, teaching him his self worth and to be proud of who he was.

“Bucky wake up, angel it’s just a nightmare” you shook him gently, ace watching from the foot of the bed.

Bucky shot up quickly, breathing heavily as you placed a hand on his back, pulling him into you after he has calmed down.

“you’re here, you’re with me you’re okay” you assured him, wrapping him in your arms and holding him tightly.

“it was bad, i was bad” he mumbled, tears falling down his face.

“you aren’t him. you are good, you are human baby, you’re my love” he squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on your steady heartbeat as you ran your fingers through his hair, his arm draping over your stomach as he slowly fell back to sleep.

Buckys nightmares became more scarce, he became happier and less cold, embracing who he was.

He was also helplessly in love with you, constantly buying you flowers, taking you out on dates, taking care of you when he could, writing you letters, and so much more.

You make live to a love

After coming into his life you made bucky a better person, you made him into the person he always wanted to be.

Bucky no longer walked with his head down, rather he walked with a set gaze, giving a kind smile to strangers on the street and helping those in need, helping the others his friends when they needed him and even volunteering at the local animal shelter when he could.

Because of you i know why a person should live by love

Before you bucky would punch his way out of all his fights, he would be hot headed and angry if he got into an argument with someone on the team.

Now he was understanding and patient, listening to what the other had to say and looking to reason with them, taking time to communicate. Bucky was sympathetic, not wanting to fight every villain they came across, instead trying to reason with them. Between him and Sam, usually they didn’t even have to fight.

I live so i love

“angel? I’m home!” You called out, ace greeting you at the door, smiling at the freshly cooked dinner on the dining table, it was your favorite.

“Happy one year doll” Bucky smiled as you turned around, hugging him tightly and kissing him all over his face.

“buck i don’t know what to say” you smiled, still in awe of all he had done.

“don’t say anything, just go get changed and let’s enjoy our night yeah?” He replied, kissing you once more before letting you go.

You were thankful he opted for a night in, exhausted from work and wanting only to be in your lovers arms. And you did exactly that, spending the night dancing in your living room, laughing at his bad jokes and sharing stories.

“okay best pick up line go” you smiled, excited to see what he would say.

“not really a pick up line but” Bucky paused, looking you in the eyes. “It’s a long way from I to U, fuck JKLMNOPQRST, i crossed all the letters and i reached you” he smirked, loving the way your heart raced at his words.

“now i know why you were such a ladies man in the 40s” you whispered, crashing his lips onto yours.

If i go would you be sad?

“God james cant you just shut up and listen to me for one second!” You stated, voice raising out of frustration.

“well maybe if you could get it through your stubborn head that it wasn’t my fault maybe I’d stop having to explain” Bucky spoke angry, his voice steady as he clenched his jaw.

You were upset he had kept you in the dark about an ongoing mission, he was upset you didn’t realize he had done it to keep you safe.

“you keep saying you did it to keep me safe, James i was almost killed because i didn’t know! How is that keeping me safe?” You spoke, anger boiling over as you sat on the couch, wanting to just sleep.

“if i had told you, you would have never let me be as protective as i have been! You wouldn’t have taken your vacation days because you’re too stubborn” Bucky spoke, still standing across from you.

“I just need some time to think” you spoke softly, Bucky’s heart fell. We’re you gonna leave him?

“I’ll go” Bucky mumbled, already moving to pack a bag.

“bucky stop” you spoke, making him stop in his tracks. “sit down i don’t want you to leave, let’s talk about it angel” you sighed, wanting to just work it out and be in his arms once more.

You’re my love

Bucky was excited, everything had been planned perfectly. He had woken up at 4 am, getting everything ready for the following morning.

He had driven to the park with Sam and Steve who helped him set up the picnic, a blanket laid out with fruits and drinks along with dog toys to play with ace.

It had been nearly 4 years since the two of you had met, he knew you were the one for him.

As the sun rose you woke up, getting ready to take ace out with Bucky, only to find the two of them gone.

Just as you finished getting ready bucky walked in, a smile on his face.

“goodmorning doll, let’s get going yeah? already got ace in the car” he smiled and you thanked him, heading out the door and to the park.

when you arrived you immediately saw the picnic.

“buck what-” you began and he cut you off.

“just because” he smiled and you smiled, sure he always took you on dates but this was different, it felt more intimate.

As the two of you sat on the blanket and munched on food ace ate some treats bucky had gotten him, excited to play in a couple of minutes.

“I taught him a new trick” Bucky smiled and you raised your eyebrows, sitting up straighter to see ace perform said trick.

“let’s see what you got Barnes” you smirked and he smiled.

“ace go fetch!” Bucky spoke, ace ran from the blanket in a straight line.

“haha bucky, we both know he already knew that, plus you didn’t even throw-” you cut yourself off as you saw ace pick something up, running back towards the two of you. Bucky stood up, offering you a hand so you could get up.

“y/n, i love you, you taught me what love is, you made me into a better person, from the moment we met i always felt like we were meant to be.” Bucky spoke, glancing over to see ace closer to the two of you, a little over halfway back.

“you’re my person, my desire, my pride, my one and only love” Bucky spoke, crouching down and taking the small box from aces mouth, letting him and giving him more treats.

Bucky got on one knee, opening the box and looking at you with bright eyes. Your vision was blurry, but unlike four years ago, it wasn’t from sleep, but from tears.

“y/n, doll, will you marry me?”

You nodded your head quickly, wiping away your tears and smiling brightly.

“yes, of course yes angel” you replied, wrapping your arms around him as he picking you up and spun you around, setting you down and kiss you, making your knees weak.

He slipped the ring on your finger with a smile, ace barking as the two of you kissed once more, pulling away with a smile.

“that has to be his best trick” you joked, petting ace and kissing the top of his head.

“now i gotta train him to be the ring bearer for the wedding” Bucky laughed and you nodded, squinting your eyes as you saw Sam and Steve running in the distance.

“is that-?” You questioned and bucky laughed, the two men cheering as they saw you and bucky cuddled up.

“she said yes!” Bucky called out and the two men cheered, arriving out of breath.

“thank god, he woke us up at like 3 am to get everything ready” sam spoke and Steve nodded, giving the two of you a hug, Sam quickly following suit.

“I’m happy for you guys” Sam spoke, Steve nodding along side him, squeezing Buckys arm before they left the two of you alone.

You smiled as you looked up at the sky, pinks and reds painting the clouds. You turned to tell bucky, but decided against it when you saw him on the floor playing with ace, voice high pitched as he baby talked him.

Your heart melted, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of you life with your two favorite boys.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes one shot #Bucky Barnes angst #soft bucky barnes #fluffy bucky barnes

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twinklelilstarkey · 4 years

Text

Party - Rafe Cameron

Inspired by the amazing work of the 🥺 queen herself, @midnightmagicmusings

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x 🥺 Reader

Words: 1.5k+

Type: Fluff

Summary: Y/N gets ‘lost’ in a party and Sarah helps you find her brother.

Warnings: DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!

You smooth out the end of your dress as you lean back on the wall, looking at everyone around you dancing and having the time of their life while you die of boredom slowly. You look down at your phone to check if you have any messages, but nothing.

“Y/N!” Sarah screams as she dances her way over to you, “Why are you all alone?”

You smile a bit and shrug, not knowing what to say exactly.

“Where’s my brother?” She asks, finally standing close to you.

“I don’t know” You say as she lays her arm over your shoulders, giving you a light squeeze as a reassuring manner.

She pulls you with her and you two start walking through the various groups of people that are dancing, smoking or even just drinking while staring at others.

“We’ll find him” Sarah says with a smile, “You can’t hang by yourself the whole night, that’s just depressing”

You give her a tight-lipped smile and the both of you walk out of to the porch, staring at the big backyard, where there’s people jumping into the pool and dancing around it.

“He must be hidden in a corner somewhere” Sarah says, making you smile as her tone made her sound as if she was talking about a wild animal.

As you stare at everyone having fun, Sarah starts pulling you to the side, making you walk once more.

The house is unrealistically giant and just to make things better, it’s the first time you’ve ever set foot into this place, so being lost has been one of your big fears ever since you stepped into it.

The back porch, for an example, it surrounds the house except for at the front, so you could easily get lost over the number of doors connected to it. Like, actually, you already don’t know what doors can take you to the front door.

You try to ignore some of the groups of people that are standing at the various dark points of the porch, as their eyes continue to travel and stay on you and Sarah as you walked past.

“When did you get here?” Sarah asks, making conversation as you continue to walk by the people you’re not even sure that live in the island.

“Maybe… Half an hour ago?” You answer, making Sarah stop walking and stare down at you with a serious expression.

“And you’ve been alone ever since?”

“Yeah?” You say, “Well, no. I did talk to some friends for a bit”

She gives you a disapproving look and takes a deep breath before starting to walk again.

“You should’ve texted me... or Rafe”

Once you walk past one more group of people, Topper’s and Kelce’s backs appear in front of you. Sarah takes her arm from around you and stands still for a second.

“Hey, douchebags!” She calls out with a smirk on her face, making the two boys look over their shoulder innocently, “Ha, made you look”

Topper rolls his eyes at Sarah’s immaturity and you smile a bit at his annoyance towards her.

“Where’s my brother?” She asks Kelce, since he is the only one looking at her.

With that, Kelce steps over to the side, letting Rafe come into view. He’s leaning back on the porch’s railing, distracted while talking to another guy.

Sarah grabs your hand and pulls you towards her brother, making sure to hit her shoulder against Topper’s.

“You really gotta stop leaving her in parties” she says to Rafe, grabbing his attention.

Rafe’s eyes move down to his sister and quickly at you when noticing that you’re the one she’s talking about. He outstretches his hand towards you, and you smile a bit before grabbing it.

“I didn’t even know that she was here already” He says with a dry tone while pulling you the closest possible to his chest, “Hey, baby” He says with a softer tone

“Hi” You say before Rafe leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, giving you a quick kiss.

He pulls away to say something quick to the guy he was previously talking about, while at the same time moving his thumb over your hand. You look over at Sarah as the guy walks away and she continues to stare at Rafe.

“If I find her alone ever again, you’re sleeping with the neighbors’ dog” she says while pointing a finger at him.

“Sure thing” he answers with a very obvious fake smile.

Sarah waves you a quick bye and walks away from the group, finding the air thick with the amount of testosterone (even if that makes no sense).

“Why didn’t you text me?” Rafe asks you, with a softer look on his face. You lean on to his side and he takes his hand away from yours to wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“I did” You answer almost in a whisper.

He frowns at your words and pulls his phone out of his pocket, 2 unread messages: “I’m here” and “Where are you?”.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see it” He says while shaking his head in disbelief.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t having too bad of a time” You say, and he smiles a bit at your words, pulling you closer by his arm, making you wrap your arms around his torso.

“Next time,” he starts before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “Spam my phone” Another kiss on your cheek.

“Okay” you say with a chuckle, knowing very well that you won’t ever do it – unless, you’re drunk.

Rafe kisses your cheek at least 3 more times before pulling back to take a look at your face. You know that the guys are way too distracted to even notice your way too affectionate interactions, and Rafe is using that to his advantage to the max level.

“You look good” He says, making your cheeks warm up and look away right away, “Shy, are we now?”

You shake your head at his words before he could lean over and steal a kiss, making you fake a pissed off expression. He smiles as you do it and presses a kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re not supposed to smile when I’m mad at you” You say with a playful tone.

“Can’t help it, you’re too adorable”

You roll your eyes at him and lean your chin on his shoulder, looking up at his eyes.

“I’m not adorable”

Rafe sighs loudly and dramatically while looking around himself as if he is in complete disbelief with your words, making you hold in your smile from how goofy he’s being.

“That’s a lie, my beloved companion. And a big ass one” he says as your noses touch, “Gotta get you a mirror on our anniversary”

You groan out of frustration and he smiles, now dragging you over to stand in front of him as he wraps his arms around you. He starts kissing your cheek and you start pulling him away playfully as he starts to move faster and more effectually.

You giggle as he moves over to your other cheek and he pulls away.

“Never lie again. You hear me?” He says. You nod at him, “You’re the cutest person in the planet”

You nod again while looking him in the eyes, mesmerized by the color, as usual.

“Cutest, Sweetest-”

You open your mouth to speak, with the intent to start describing Rafe as lovely as he did you, but he beats you to it.

“-You better not be getting ready to start complimenting me” He warns, making your smile grow, “Don’t you dare”

“Why not?”

“Because I was the one that left you alone for half an hour”

“It wasn’t on purpose”

“Still did it. Need to pay for it, now”

“Pay?” You ask confused.

“Hell yeah, you name the price and I’ll do it”

You stay silent, not sure if he’s serious.

“Come on, I gotta learn from my mistakes. You heard Sarah, if there’s a next time, I’m sleeping with my neighbors’ dog” He emphasizes, making you shake your head again, “Go on”

Your smile grows into a smirk as you get an idea.

(...)

“You know, this is not exactly what I meant as a way to punish me” Rafe says, voice muffled by your sweatshirt.

“Doesn’t matter, it’s what I chose” you say.

Rafe snuggles closer into your chest as you look at the TV, stuffing your face with popcorn.

Your hand lays between his shoulder blades, feeling his warmth over your colder skin as well as every time his muscles moved slightly. You run your fingers from his back to the back of his head, making chills run over Rafe’s skin.

“I don’t deserve you” he whispers so low that you don’t even hear him. You continue to play with his hair silently, completely oblivious, and he looks over at the screen you’re so concentrated on. “I love you”

“Love you too” you answer, this time hearing him, as he moved over to lay his head more comfortably.

You place a kiss on the top of his head and he almost sighs in content before closing his eyes, fighting his big urge to fall asleep.

But in a matter of seconds, he fails and falls into a deep and peaceful slumber.

- - - - -

I don’t know how to feel about it.

The 🥺 imagines just inspired me so much and ended up writing this at 2am. Hope you guys like it.

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron imagines #outer banks #outer banks rafe #netflix outer banks #netflix #obx #obx netflix #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader

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rosemary-writes · 3 years

Text

I can’t, I’m so sorry

(David x Female!Reader)

AN: this story is basically me just ranting about my experience over the past two weeks. It’s very hard going through the grief process and I wanted to share my experience through my writing. This story is kind of a self insert but I still like it

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, losing a loved one, grief, mourning, crying, unhealthy habits, recollection of memories, soft!David, maybe out of character David, general sadness, mentions of a cemetery, vampire powers.

Word count: 3.8k

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ANY OF THE ABOVE WARNINGS

“I like to pretend that you ran away, that you’re living on an island and have a garden and a dog and that your brothers drop by to bring you groceries and books and that you are very happy and free.” - S.C. Pacheco

It happened so quickly. No one saw it coming, but then again, does anyone ever really see death coming?

You were preparing for finals. It was the last two weeks of your first year at college and you had been studying non stop. You were going to end this year with a bang and have a great extended summer without worry in your head.

Then, the phone call happened. It was so unexpected. Dad called and asked if you were alone. Thankfully, your psychology class was on a five minute break and you were out in the hallway. Dad immediately said that he didn’t know how to break it to you gently so he was just going to say it. Following his statement, he told you how your great grandmother had a stroke and she had about a day to a month to live. The hallway stood still and the chatter of classrooms ceased into nothing.

Tears had welled up in your eyes and began to flow down your face. Nothing stopped them as your dad kept telling you about everything that happened. Your grandparents, uncles, aunts, and even your mom went to the hospital to see her. It was a two hour drive. Your dad had said that your mother was going to bring you home when all of your classes were done, for the day, so you could be in an area of comfort. The only reason he said that was because the history of your mental health wasn't the best at all. The previous two weeks were spent being in bed because the stress of school began to weigh heavily in your chest.

The weight in your chest had lessened over the past few days but the news of your great grandmother brought it back. Your face was red as the tears kept flowing from your eyes. Dad said he loved you before letting you hang up. Your whimpers and scattered breathing echoed in the hallway. Hot tears dripped from your chin and onto your sweater as you ran into the bathroom. Thankfully it was empty and you were able to let out your cries. The yellow lights flickered as you fell to your knees. She was your only great grandmother and she loved you greatly. Everyone told you that you were special because you were her eldest great granddaughter. The passing quote in your head practically made you scream out in confusion and upset.

Many minutes passed before your psychology teacher burst into the bathroom. She found you on the floor, face wet with tears. Immediately she came to your side and began shushing you while wrapping her arms around you. The only words you could cry out were “She’s dying and I’m not there.” After that, the day fuzzed into nothing. Your close friend had to come and get you for your other classes. She told your teachers how you were leaving early in the week because your great grandmother was dying. Thankfully, your teachers understood and gave you extensions on every assignment that was late.

Later in the evening, your mother came to get you. The car ride was very quiet and so was the weekend. It was spent with you occasionally crying while listening to your family plan her funeral. It was also spent with you remembering your childhood in her house.

The smells and sounds lingered in your mind constantly. Sometimes you’d hear the ghost of her grandfather clock when you couldn’t sleep.

Sadly, you couldn’t sleep most days. A week came and went and you were in the start of your finals week. It was three days filled with exams. Tuesday was the first day of exams. Thankfully, there was only one exam. When class was over, your teacher asked to speak with you. She gave you an enormous hug and told you that you passed her class. With tears forming in your eyes she told you that your great grandmother would be very proud. After that, she wished you the best in life and you went back to your dorm with your close friend.

As if on cue, your phone rang. When you picked it up you immediately could tell it was your dad. He told you that your great grandmother passed in her sleep early that morning. You knew this news was coming but no amount of preparation could prepare you to hear that. Tears fell from your eyes as he told you to get through the next few days before moving out and coming home. You both said, “I love you.” before hanging up.

Later that night, you cried until the sun gently arose over the tall evergreen trees. The next few days were spent in a daze. Your friends comforted you and told you that they’d always be there for you as you cried and wanted to go home. You took your exams and packed up your room and left the college. You were so happy to leave with your mother and go home for the summer. However, the shadow of grief clung to your skirt the entire time, even as the evening turned into night and then stretched into morning.

With sad eyes, you had looked into the mirror as you applied your makeup and got dressed for her funeral. The dress you wore was long sleeved and it just about touched the ground. You sighed. It was going to be a long drive through the flat farmland to get to the town of your childhood. When your family got to the old cemetery, your father told you that it was a beautiful day for her to be laid to rest.

And it was. It really was. The sun was shining, there were no clouds, and the gentle breeze turned your warm tears cold. Birds and butterflies fluttered around the graves and danced with each other. Even as the priest recited the carefully picked words, you thought of how it was a beautiful day. When he was done speaking, your mother held you as you cried. She let go when she began to cry uncontrollably. Your younger cousins came to your side and wept with you as you walked amongst your sleeping ancestors and extended family.

At the end of the funeral, you tearfully kissed her headstone goodbye and whispered to your great grandfather that you know they're happy now, laying side by side. When you got into the car to go back to Santa Carla, you cried until you dozed off under the warm afternoon sun.

Before you had left for the whole ordeal, you called David and told him about everything that had happened. He knew that your great grandmother had a stroke and that your whole family was stricken with grief. He also knew that you had never experienced grief or the process of mourning. So, he made a promise that when you came back he would stay by your side. You gave a huff into the payphone as he told you that he would do anything to ease the process. Before hanging up, you asked if it would be okay if you could stay at the cave for a couple of days. He told you yes and that he loved you before hanging up.

When your family finally got back to the house, you immediately fled to your room. Your parents didn’t want to bother you so they left you alone. They didn’t know that you were going to spend a few days at the cave. Infact, they didn’t know you were dating David. Your parents just thought he was a college friend.

Grabbing a bag, you began shoving clothes into it. You grabbed a few necessities and put those in there as well. When you figured you had everything, you heard David's bike outside. However, before you left, you noticed your great grandmother's ring on your dresser. It was given to you on your sixteenth birthday. It was an heirloom that was passed down from your great grandmother. When she first saw you wearing it, she had complimented how you reminded her of her younger self. While looking at the ring, your hand flew to the pearl choker that was resting around your neck. They were hers as well.

You grabbed the ring and slipped it on your ring finger before leaving. Your parents must’ve gone to bed because the house was dark and their bedroom door was shut. In the kitchen, you pulled out a notepad and wrote down that you were going to be with friends for a few days.

You left your house and noticed David was at the end of your driveway. He had a cigarette in his mouth and he was looking at your neighbors house.

“David.” you called gently. His head whipped towards you and a smirk appeared on his lips. His fingers came up and took the cigarette from his lips. When you walked to him, he gently pulled you close and gave you a quick kiss. When you pulled away, his hand came up to your cheek. You looked up at him in the moonlight and could see that his face was laced with concern as his eyes studied your face.

“Hop on kitten, let’s go to the cave.” he said, as his hand fell from your face. You got on behind him and when you wrapped your arms around him he began to drive through the night. Usually, you would be happy and laughing with David as he drove erratically to get you excited. He loved hearing you shout as he would go over hills but tonight was quiet. Of course he knew why. You were grieving and he wasn’t expecting you to do any of that. When you asked to stay at the cave, he was honestly surprised.

However, part of you felt like you needed to shout and laugh. You had mentally prepared for her death for a week and now it was hours after the funeral. Part of you begged to be left alone with your ever changing mind and the other part wanted to be with David in his arms as you two laughed and talked trash about the people of Santa Carla.

Instead, your face was resting against his back as he drove to the cave. The night was clear and the moon was bright. In the serenity of the night you closed your eyes. Your eyes were irritated at how much you had been crying and you hoped that tonight David wouldn’t see you cry. He had never seen you cry and you wanted to keep it that way. You always stayed happy and energetic around him. Sometimes you could hear David whisper that he loved your spark when he thought you were asleep. He didn’t know that your great grandmother repeated the same thing many years ago.

You sighed as you felt David’s bike slow to a stop. Opening your eyes, you saw that the both of you were at one of the entrances to the cave. He parked his bike next to the three others and turned it off. Carefully, you unwrapped your arms from him as he got off. As you got off, David offered his hand and you took it. When you stood next to him, hand in hand, he kissed your forehead. You smiled at the affection and he led you down into the cave.

“I know you won’t mind but, me and the guys are going to go feed when you get inside. I’ll change my clothes before coming back” David said, as he led you through the tunnel. You hummed and looked ahead at the gentle glowing light ahead. In the main area of the cave you could hear the noises of the other boys. David’s grip on your hand tightened as you came to the steep slope that led to the main area. The first time he brought you here, you slipped going down. You smiled at the cherished memory as you carefully walked down. Thankfully, this time you made it to the bottom.

“Hey David, hey Scoob” Marko said, looking up as you and David walked into the main area of the cave. You scoffed as David let go of your hand.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not call me that?” you asked, as David walked over towards the others. Marko gave you a teasing smile as Paul came from god knows where. Dwayne followed after him and the two joined the others.

“Anyways, I think you guys should get a move on. I can tell you’re antsy.” you said. David was breathing a bit more heavily than usual and you knew that was his body telling him to eat. Without word, the boys turned and walked away to one of the many exits. As the others ascended into the night, David turned to look at you. It was his way of saying goodbye but you also knew he was asking a question.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” you said, grabbing your bag. Without speaking, he too turned away and followed the others.

You sighed as you watched him leave. It wasn’t your first time alone in the cave. Sometimes, they would go out and feed while you slept and you’d wake up in an empty nest. But, right now, you needed to be alone to just breathe. So, you went down one of the hallways to your little sanctuary. Months ago, you found a little safe haven in the depths of the cave. It was your little room and it was filled with things you found and liked. As you walked down the dim path, you could see the curtains in the doorway. Carefully, when you stood in front of them, you pushed them aside and stepped into the little safe haven. It was dark, but thankfully you had candles in different places around the room. Setting your stuff down on the bed, you grabbed your lighter from your dress pocket. You carefully lit the candles and adjusted them to keep from scorching other objects.

When you were finished you plopped down onto the mattress that was covered in blankets and pillows. You didn’t know how long it had been since you last slept. The nights were spent with you crying until you couldn’t but by morning, you were ready to repeat the whole cycle.

It sucked. Grief wasn’t supposed to be like this. Many people told you that after a few days, everything would go back to normal. Well, you wanted the feeling to go away immediately. You hated this neverending feeling of sadness. It was like a child clinging to their mother’s skirt.

One of the worst parts of it all was the day going through your head. You couldn’t stop thinking about her funeral. Was this normal? To constantly think of the funeral? Was it also normal to cry so much? You just couldn’t understand the whole grief process at all.

Gently, you got up from the mattress and walked over to the old mirror that David found for you. The candles in the room gave your features a warm glow in the mirror. You looked at your face and how it changed. You looked different. The shadows under your eyes had darkened and your eyes looked irritated. Glancing down to the pearl choker, you felt your throat tighten. The words of the past week began to echo loudly in your head.

She wouldn’t want you to fuss over her.

Even the brightest stars have to dim.

She loved you. She loved you greatly.

Then the tears came. They came so fast that you were honestly scared by them. They fell down your face as a sob escaped your mouth.

It wasn’t fair. None of it was. The pain in your body felt amplified as you sank to the floor. The worst part of it all was you couldn’t stop thinking of her. The way she kissed your cheeks when she saw you and when you left. The way her hands gently ran through your hair as you slept in her lap as a child. How she would sneakily give you chocolates after Christmas dinner and not tell anyone. Her mischievous smile flashed in your mind and it only made you cry harder. Why, why, why? Why did she have to die?

______

From the entrance of the cave, David stood still. Your sadness had reverberated through the cave like a loud radio. He couldn’t hear you but he felt the grief. Slowly, he walked to your room. He had forgotten how grief felt. It was a horrible feeling that he never wanted to experience again. However, he wanted to comfort you the best he could. As he got closer to your room, he could hear you. He heard the rapid beating of your heart as you let your emotions out. When he stood in front of the curtain, he hesitated. Would you want him in there?

David brushed the thought aside as he remembered that it was your first time with grief. He could practically smell the confusion and anger from your tears. Quickly, he opened the curtains and stepped into your room. On the farthest side of the room, you were leaning against the wall as you were trying to catch your breath. Your face was red and wet with tears. The eyeliner you wore was smudged around your eyes and David could see where it had trailed.

When you had calmed down just a little, David cleared his throat. Immediately, you turned around and met his still face. He held no emotion as he looked at your tragic form.

“Get out.” you said, quickly wiping your face. David did not move from his spot. Instead, he walked towards you.

“David, get out! I don’t want you to see me like this!” You yelled, as you turned away to shield yourself from him. He said nothing as he came behind you and wrapped his arms around you. It was so gentle that it almost didn’t seem like David. Again, you tried to say something else but it died on your lips. Instead a whimper came out as you fell to the floor and David gently fell with you. He kept your back pressed against his chest as you kept crying.

“I-I’m sorry.” you mumbled through your tears. David’s face nuzzled your neck as you wept uncontrollably.

“It’s okay. I’m right here.” he quietly said against your skin as you kept trying to steady your breathing. After a few minutes, you had calmed down enough but tears still kept falling down your face.

David listened as your heartbeat kept getting calmer by the minute. It was a soothing sound to him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking at your face. You scoffed, “No, but I’ll live.” you mumbled quietly. David hummed at your response.

“David, I hate this.” you stated with a sniffle. He perked up at your words and listened carefully.

“I hate everything about grief, I hate the confusion, I hate the sleepless nights, I hate the crying and I-” you cut off the sentence as you tried to not go into another crying fit. Taking in a shaky breath, you continued, “And I hate that I don’t know what to do. This whole process fucking sucks.”

David sighed and kissed your cheek. “You’re still in the early stages of grief. It’s confusing and it’s scary to go through. Especially by yourself.” he explained calmly, “One of the best things you can do is try to think of all of the good things that happened in her life. I detest seeing you this way, but I know it’s something you have to go through.” he finished.

You sighed and wiped your face, “But, why does it have to hurt so damn bad?” you asked, turning to try and look at his face. David moved back so he could look you in the eye.

“It hurts because you lost someone you loved. Your mind can’t understand how life will be different without her. Eventually, you’ll understand how to live life like before and carry on again.” he replied, calmly.

His eyes fell to the pearl choker around your neck and his hands moved to take it off. You didn’t object to the feeling of his cold hands as they fumbled with the clasp. Carefully, he took it off and moved to set it somewhere else. “Lets move to the mattress, hm?” David suggested. You nodded and the two of you got up and went to lay down together on the mattress. Instead of laying next to you, David was sitting next to you.

You closed your eyes when your back hit the soft blankets. It was comforting but you didn’t want to sleep even though your body was begging for it. You were just scared of what you would dream of.

“Would you like me to take off your ring?” David asked, holding your hand up to his face. You quirked your eyebrow at him. “Why would I need to take off her ring?” you asked sitting up. David rolled his eyes, “You don’t want it to fall off while you sleep. It might get lost.” he said, meeting your gaze.

“Uh, it won’t get lost while I sleep because I’m not going to sleep.” you replied, moving your hand away from his.

David scoffed at your words, “Kitten, this isn’t up for debate. I know you haven’t slept in days and it’s not healthy for you.” he argued, moving his hands to your face.

“David, I don’t need you to tell me what to do.” You declared. He looked down at you. His eyes were serious and you could tell that he was getting annoyed with this conversation.

“You are going to sleep and I don’t care if you refuse. I’m going to do this anyways” he said, finally. Before you could answer, you slipped into a deep sleep. Your body fell back onto the mattress and David was satisfied. He didn’t like using his vampire powers on you but, he felt like this was necessary. He looked down at your hand and carefully pulled the ring off. David got up from the mattress and set the ring down next to the pearl choker. He looked down at your sleeping form and smirked before laying down next to you. Tonight, all would be well for a while.

#marko the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #david the lost boys #paul the lost boys #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys imagines #the lost boys 1987 #David the lost boys x reader #david lost boys #rosemary writes

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growup-thatbeautiful · 3 years

Text

Cooler; Bucky Barnes x Reader

New Girl Inspired for @madjazzhatter

“I’m telling you, Buck, I’m not your cooler. Sure, a few times I might’ve been the reason you didn’t get some that once or twice, but 99% of the time it’s your own damn fault, Barnes.” It’s all true. He’s proving her point just by being himself right now, making one of those over the top faces he has and adjusting the collar of his coat. It’s not even his coat, she reminds herself.

“You’re both right, actually. Y/n, you have, on occasion, proven to be a terrible wingwoman. Purely awful. Bucky, you too have the tendency to, uh, discourage people from talking to you. I mean, you’re always frowning. You have a great smile, man, learn how to use it.” Bucky reaches across the sink and hits Steve upside the back of his head.

“Come on guys, we had a good vibe going. Let’s not have any infighting before tonight. Bucky, are you absolutely positive that that’s what you want to wear?” All three of them are standing in from of the bathroom mirrors, presumably making themselves look better to go to the bar at 5:30 in the afternoon, which is actually not that early for them.

“This coat makes me feel sexy.” Bucky does an awkward spin move, throwing up finger guns at himself in the mirror. Y/n rolls her eyes dramatically, patting Sam and Steve on the back before walking towards the door.

“Yeah, nothing says I’m a creep like a man in a women's trenchcoat,” add Sam. Y/n leans against the frame of the door, watching her boys make fools of fixing themselves in the mirror.

“So, just to be clear, you’re saying I can’t come tonight, right?”

They look at each other and shake their heads. “That’s fine, I have a lot of…things I need to do today anyway. You know, spoons to clean, yarn to yarn.”

“Gotta get that yarn yarned,” says Sam, practicing his facial expressions in the mirror and holding a thumbs up in the direction of y/n.

“See? You’re going to have a much better time here than you would have at the stinky old bar! We’re doing you a favor.” Bucky pats y/n on the head, earning himself a confused look.

She turns away from them, exiting the room just in time to hear Steve say, “You still work at that bar, Buck.”

They’re home within five minutes, and y/n is left to her own devices. There are times when she wishes that she had more nights like this, alone and able to do what she wants. Right now is not one of those times. It’s not that she doesn’t have things she can do, there just aren’t any things that she wants to do.

After fucking around for a little while, a noise at the door startles her. Her mind immediately goes to danger, causing her to call Peggy, even though she’s on a date, and Bucky, even though she was told that she was usually the downfall of his fun nights.

For some reason, Bucky answers his phone, but he sounds pissed about it. “Buck, you need to come home, there’s something at the door.”

“There’s nothing at the door, y/n. You know it’s an old building, maybe it has something to do with the pipes. You wouldn’t be worried if you listened to pipe talk during our loft meetings.”

“Those are boring. I’m surprised you listen to those talks.”

“They make me feel more like a man.” He pauses before continuing,”You know you’re being a cooler right now, right? Do you see it now?”

Yes, she thinks. She definitely see’s it now. “Just come home.”

Bucky, Steve, Sam, and two girls that are along for the ride arrive at the apartment. They find y/n curled up on the couch with their baseball bat, and she almost hits Steve when he comes into the room.

“So, this is our roommate y/n,” introduces Bucky. “And this is the place. Bathroom is down that hall… and so is basically everything else. Y/n, could you help me find some, uh, bottlecaps in the your room.”

“Sure, what kind? I have twist offs and the pop kind.”

“You know I’m not actually here about bottlecaps- actually it doesn’t matter. Listen to me. That girl out there, for some reason, is sexually attracted to sad men. You understand now fantastic that is for me.”

“Yeah, wow, that’s a goldmine. Now I feel partially responsible for your sex tonight, so I have an idea.” Bucky and I call everyone to meet in front of the couches, a cooler of beer beside us.

“The game is true american, but with a sexy new twist. Clinton rules! Everyone pick your interns and remember-“

The loft mates join in at this part, “The floor is lava!”

“Wait, this doesn’t make any sense. What are the rules? How do you play this?” The girl that Bucky brought asks.

“It’s easy. The floor is lava, doves versus hawks, the couch is the Mason-Dixon Line, no cabinets,” explains Steve helpfully, choosing the blonde, Carrie, as his partner.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Vanya, the girl that Sam brought, is sitting on the table and drinking, definitely not playing, but Sam seems happy talking to her.

The game goes as smoothly as a game with no rules can go. The loft is a mess, and most of us are missing various articles of clothes, which is a good sign for Bucky. Y/n, Steve, Carrie, and Y/n are all sitting at the table, different levels of intoxicated, trying to figure out who has to go behind the hallway door and kiss, a Y/n original idea that she’s positive will fix her spot as not a cooler. On the count of three they all put up numbers on their foreheads, chaos enduring between Steve and Bucky, both telling Carrie different numbers.

In all the confusion, on three, Y/n and Bucky end up with the same number, meaning that they have to kiss.

“Shit,” swears Bucky.

Y/n and Bucky look at each other, and say again, “Shit.”

“No, come on guys, let us out of here. This isn’t what I meant when I said kiss, I obviously meant, uh, a metaphorical poetic kiss. Don’t leave me back here with him!”

“Well,” says y/n, leaning back against the wall, sliding down to the floor next to Bucky, with his head in his hands. “I guess we should do this, then. They aren’t going to let him out of here anytime soon.”

“Yep. Let me just-“ Y/n stands up, while Bucky stays on the ground, crouching.

“What are you doing? I’m up here.”

“I thought we were staying on the ground.”

“Fine. Let’s get this over with. Pucker up, Mr. Buck.” As soon as it’s out of her mouth, y/n grimaces, regretting a lot of things.

“Come on, don’t do that. You’re making it weirder than it already was.”

“Yeah, I regretted it immediately. I think this does prove that I’m your cooler.”

“Yeah, you think? It’s okay, Steve’s just gonna tell her about his heartbroken Peggy-struck heart. This might be the only time that he wants to be sadder than me.” They spend a few minutes arguing back and forth about various unimportant details, like if they’re going to stand or sit, where they’re going to put their hands, and if Bucky should be so nervous about this. At some point in time Bruce, y/n’s boyfriend, came along and decided to join the rest of them outside.

Finally, after the constant chanting of “kiss kiss kiss kiss” from the hallway to get to her, y/n says, “Come on, Buck, just be a man and kiss me!”

“No! Not like this.” His eyes go wide when he realizes what he just said, and he starts shaking his head before I even get my question out.

“What do you mean, not like this?” Bucky doesn’t give an answer, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He starts gesturing around wildly, trying to find something to say.

“No, I didn’t- it’s just not, like, you know- not like that.”

“Yeah, I’m out.” Before y/n can get another word in, Bucky is climbing out of the window. Without thinking, y/n yells at them to open the door, which they do. Steve and Sam are freaking out over Bucky, asking him all these questions, and Bruce is busy laughing about how Bucky would rather climb out of a window than kiss her. Luckily, Peggy is still thereto try and help her understand what’s happening.

Things dial down after that. Steve and Sam give Bucky a firm talking to and a night to think of over, and y/n goes to sleep alongside Bruce. She’s awoken in the middle of the night gm the same scratching that she heard earlier, so she goes to investigate.

Bucky must’ve heard it too, because he’s right there beside her with the baseball bat. Apparently their new neighbor has a dog that’s been causing all of the problems. It’s also the place where Bucky’s coat was supposed to go. As far as their neighbors go, it’s not the worst interaction they’ve had. This one only thinks they wear other people’s clothes and carry around bats.

“So, I guess you didn’t need to come over. Sorry I ruined your night.” They walk back to the hallway together, arms brushing against each other.

“Nah, it was probably for the best. French coat Bucky had a lot of unearned confidence, lot of random dance moves.”

They stand facing each other, y/n looking up into Bucky’s eyes. “Goodnight Buck.”

“Night, Y/n.” Bucky leans in, encouraged by y/n leaning in too. They’re lips touch, the kiss passionate and all at once. Bucky’s hands are in her hair, and as soon as they break appear she misses the touch.

“I meant a little something like that.”

This was so much fun to write! I love to concept of a new girl based au, feel free to send more of this or any other requests.

#nxvna writing #nxvna post #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky x reader #new girl au #marvel fic #tfatws fic #bucky imagine #reader x bucky barnes #you x bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james barnes

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years

Text

And the Woman Clothed With the Sun...

3x09

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, dead bodies, nightmares, talk of children and having them

Author’s Note: I really really liked this episode. I love playing with dynamics SO MUCH. I hope you guys like this?

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar

Official Episode Summary: As the search for Francis Dolarhyde (Richard Armitage) continues, Will starts imagining himself in Dolarhyde's tormented psyche -- and asks Hannibal for help with the serial killer's profile; a new woman (Rutina Wesley) enters Dolarhyde's life.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll @ericacactus @vlightning95 @sweetgoodangel

(not my gif)

“That’s the same atrocious aftershave you wore in court,” Hannibal said. He turned around slowly, acting as though he were not surprised to see you and Will together. The thin line of glass between the two of you Hannibal seemed so thick.

The truth was, you had never truly gotten over Hannibal. You had pretended to, for the sake of Will, but you had never really stopped thinking about what he could be doing. There was a link that the three of you had with each other that was unexplainable. You had started a new life. But your old one still called your name.

“Hello, Dr. Lecter,” Will said simply. He was contained. You fed off of his energy to keep yourself in check as well.

“Hello, Will. Y/N.” He stepped closer to the two of you. “I believe congratulations are in order. I apologize I couldn’t make it to the wedding. Alana gave me some pictures, to taunt me presumably.” You smiled. You thought about Hannibal holding the pictures of you and Will laughing, beaming at each other. “Did you get my note?” You nodded.

“We got it. Thank you,” you said simply. You and Will stood close together. He had his coat draped over his arm and you held the papers from the cases.

“Did you read it before you destroyed it? Or did you simply toss it into the nearest fire?” Hannibal asked. You scoffed a bit.

“We read it. Then he burned it,” you promised. He nodded.

“And you came anyway.” Hannibal eyed you. “I’m surprised you let that happen.”

“We all falter in some ways,” you said simply.

“I want you to help me, Dr. Lecter,” Will said to break the conversation. He still didn't trust Hannibal with you. Reminiscent of the days you used to work with Hannibal.

“Yes I thought so. Are we no longer on a first-name basis?” Hannibal asked.

“I’m more comfortable the less personal we are,” Will said. Hannibal looked over at you, eyeing your entire body. He made note of the scent. The scent off of both of you.

“Your hands are rough Will. I smell dogs and pine and oil beneath that shaving lotion.” He looked at you. “Did you steal that perfume from my home?” he questioned. You stiffened. You had gotten some perfume from his home as they cleaned it out. You ended up liking and buying another bottle over the years.

“I’m here about Chicago and Buffalo. You’ve read about it, I’m sure,” Will said.

“I’ve read the papers. I can’t clip them. They won’t let me have scissors, of course. You want to know how he’s choosing them,” Hannibal commented. You held up the case file.

“Thought you might have some ideas.”

“You just came here to look at me. Came to get the old scent again. Why don't you just smell yourself Will? Or your wife?” Will let out a sigh.

“I expected more of you, doctor. That routine is old hat.” Hannibal nodded stiffly.

“Whereas you are new people,” Hannibal said. “Let me have the file. An hour, and we can discuss it like old times.” You nodded happily at that, pleased he would help. You shoved the file through the document tray and into the cell. Hannibal came close to collect it.

“Thank you,” Will muttered.

“Family values may have declined over the last century, but we still help our families when we can.” He took the papers. “You’re both family.”

Will grabbed you around the waist, eager to leave. Your eyes lingered on Hannibal’s for a moment longer before you and Will left the room, swallowing his true words.

You looked around Alana’s office. You hadn’t seen it since she had moved in. It looked better than when Chilton had run it. Perhaps that was just because you liked Alana more. The problems you once had with each other had mostly scabbed over. She was maid of honor at your wedding. Interesting, considering the fact you had once fought feverishly over Hannibal.

“It’s good to see you looking well. But I can’t help wishing you weren’t here,” Alana said. She sat on her couch. Her suit was pristine, her hair perfect. You admired her.

“You aren’t the only one,” you commented.

“I was surprised Jack came back in one piece,” she said. You nodded, running a hand over your pants before sitting down on the couch beside her. Will stood up, looking out the window.

“You weren’t the only one,” Will said, turning to both of you.

“How did it feel to see him again?” she questioned. You looked at the ground. Will sat down beside you, in between you and Alana.

“Like Hannibal was looking through to the back of my skull. Felt like a fly flitting around in there. I had the absurd feeling that he walked out with me. Had to stop outside the doors and look around, make sure it was just Y/N,” Will commented.

“I know that feeling. At least Jack Crawford’s pleased.” You pursed your lips but stayed quiet.

“He showed me pictures of the families. I looked at Y/N and couldn’t say no,” he argued.

“Damn my presence,” you joked softly. Will slung his arm around the couch behind you, his fingered brushing your shoulder.

“And Jack was counting on it.”

“Are you still with Margot?” you asked, eager to change the subject. She took a deep breath and nodded, thinking fondly of her wife.

“Yes. We have a baby. A Verger baby. A son,” she said. You smiled. You and Will had talked about kids. You wanted one. You were working for one when Jack spiked both yours and Will’s stress levels.

“Good for Margot,” Will said.

“Good for me. I carried him. He’s my son. He’s the Verger heir.” You smiled.

“Then what are you doing here? You’re set for life,” you pointed out.

“There are only five doors between Hannibal and the outside. And I have the keys to every one of them,” she said. A daily ‘gotcha’ to Hannibal. Will admired that. “Hannibal has never been great with boundaries. ‘He who sups with the Devil needs a long spoon’.”

“I am not letting him in, Alana. Don’t worry about me,” Will said. She looked at you sympathetically.

“Last time, it didn't’ end with you Will.”

“I want you to stay here,” Will said, standing outside Hannibal’s cell door. He hadn’t stepped inside yet. Hannibal could not see him. You scoffed.

“We’ve been over this. I follow you, even if you say no.”

“This time, I mean it. I think I’ll get more out of him if he isn't’ distracted with you.” You raised an eyebrow.

“You sure you aren’t jealous?” He gave you a look. “Fine, fine. Please be quick.”

Will stepped into the room, leaving you outside to wait. Hannibal looked up at him from his desk.

“This is a very shy boy, Will. I’d love to meet him,” Hannibal said. He looked around. “Just us?”

Will nodded.

“Just us.”

“Have you considered the possibility that he’s disfigured? Or that he may believe he’s disfigured?” Hannibal asked.

“That’s interesting.”

“That’s not interesting. You thought of that before.” Will nodded.

“He smashed all the mirrors in the houses, not just enough to get the pieces he wanted. The shards are set so he can see himself. In their eyes. Mrs. Jacobi and Mrs. Leeds. And their families,” Will said. Hannibal pulled out the picture of a dead Mrs. Jacobi.

“Could you see yourself in their eyes, Will? Killing them all?”

Will instantly regretted leaving you outside.

The two boys imagined themselves in the crime scenes, looking across the dead bodies of the families.

“The first small bond to the killer itches and stings like a leech,” Hanibal said. “Like you, Will, he needs a family to escape what’s inside him.” Wills head shot up but he did not look at Hannibal. “You know a fair amount about how these families died. How they lived is how he chooses them.”

“How is he choosing them?” Will asked.

“I was surprised to hear you actually married Y/N. Not because I thought you weren’t a match made in heaven but it made more sense for you to start a family from scratch. No one that had even an inkling of me in their eyes. Find a mom with a stepson or daughter, not having to breed. You know better than to pass the terrible traits that you fear the most,” Hannibal said. Will did not look at him. Hannibal continued. “But Y/N wants children with you. How will you stand to look at a child you may have ruined before they were even born?”

Will desperately wished he hadn’t left you outside.

“Why are there no descriptions of the grounds? I see floor plans, diagrams of the rooms where the deaths occured, no mention of the grounds. What were the yards like?” Hannibal continued, satisfied with how he had shaken Will’s personal life.

“Big, fenced, with trees. Why?”

“If this pilgrim feels a special relationship with the moon, he might like to go outside and look at it before he tidies himself up. If one were nude, say, it would be better to have outdoor privacy for that sort of thing. One must show some consideration for the neighbors, hmmm? Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight, Will?”

Will suddenly saw himself in place of the killer, naked, drenched in pitch black blood.

Will snapped back and nodded quickly.

“Thank you Dr. Lecter,” he said before stumbling out of the door. You sat on the outside in one of the waiting chairs. Will looked over at you and seemed to relax but not completely.

“Will?”

He grabbed you and you stood up quickly, hugging him tightly. He buried his head in your neck and you let him, rubbing your back.

“This is why you don’t go without me places,” you muttered. He scoffed but his breathing was already evening again. “What did he say?” He moved back and shook his head softly.

“We’ll talk about it later. I want to see the backyards.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, I suppose.”

He walked out of the asylum, holding your hand tightly. Freddie snapped a couple pictures from the bushes.

“Have you come to wag your finger?” Hannibal asked as Alana entered the room behind him.

“I love a good finger-wagging.”

“Yes, you do. How is Margot?” Alana ignored the remake as she gleaned down at the picture of her as Botticelli’s Fortitude.

“Your cogs are turning, Hannibal. I can hear them clicking.”

“Click, click, click, boom,” he whispered.

“I don’t know what you’re planning with the Grahams. But you’re planning something. Why wouldn’t you be? You’ve already cracked the lid, can’t resist peeling it back.”

Hannibal pursed at the name. Alana noticed this.

“You can’t comment on her last name anymore you know. They’re married. She is, in the eyes of the law, a Graham now.” Hannibal stiffened.

“They came to me,” Hannibal said, ignoring her words.

“Yes, they did.”

“I advised them against it.”

“I’m sure.”

“Are you suggesting I don’t have Y/N and Will’s best interests in mind?” he asked. Alana scoffed.

“I’m stating it as a fact.”

You stepped into the room with Hannibal’s cage. He looked up, quite surprised to see you. You held your purse in both hands, stepping closer to the cage.

“Hello love,” he said quietly. You let his words fall off of you like rain. They stayed for a moment, dripping down your arm before hitting the ground. “I don’t imagine you’re here to talk about the murder cases.” You shook your head softly. He walked up to the glass quietly. You stepped close to it, so you were really only a couple of inches apart.

“I came to yell at you,” you said. He raised an eyebrow.

“Whatever for?” You smiled gently and shrugged.

“Lots of things. Firstly, you didn’t kill Jack when you got the chance. I’ll never forgive you for not feeding him to me in soup.” His eyes went wide.

“Careful Y/N. Alana watches these tapes.”

“She would probably agree with me.” You took a deep breath. “Secondly, not coming to my wedding. I know you were otherwise indisposed but I thought it was rather rude.”

“I thought it was rude of you to get married.” You shook your head playfully. The same banter. Joking with a cannibal serial killer. Just another Tuesday.

“Third, I told you to leave.” The air seemed to calm.

“Does Will know you’re here?”

“No. I didn’t tell him.”

“Did he tell you he’s scared of his own children?” You raised a finger, shaking it gently.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Will is no longer my boyfriend I dated a couple of months. He’s my husband. You can’t wedge yourself between us no matter how hard you try.” You wanted to put your hand against the glass but you didn’t. “But I miss you.”

“Where do you work nowadays?” You shrugged.

“I had to get another secretary job but I’ve mostly worked up enough to take this amount of leave. My last employer wasn’t exactly the best reference.” He laughed.

“I suppose you’re right.” He paused. “Eating well?”

“Better. No people in the diet these days.”

“Pity.”

“Will!” You broke Will out of his thoughts. You were standing in the back of the Jacobi house. Will had just found a small sign on one of the trees. He was about to get into it but you had broken him out of his mind. “It’s Freddie.”

Will walked out from the trees and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Now are you just keeping America clean or is that evidence?” Freddie asked.

“You’re trespassing, Freddie,” Will said sternly.

“I was trespassing before the blood dried. When did they call you? Interesting to see The Bloody Valentines back at action. Beautiful ceremony by the way.”

“We aren’t talking to you,” Will said, grabbing your arm. You followed him.

“We’re co conspirators, Will. I did for you and your cause.”

“You didn’t die enough. You came into my hospital room while I was asleep. You flipped back the sheets and shot a picture of my temporary colostomy bag,” Will said, turning to her.

“Covered your junk with a black box. A big black box. You’re welcome,” she said.

“Justly so,” you argued carefully.

“You culled us the ‘murder threesome’. Little crude, don't you think?”

“You did run off to Europe together. Doesn’t help that the two of you ended up getting married. How does the Tooth Fairy compare to Hannibal Lecter? Haven’t seen anything like this since the Massacre at Muskrat Farm. Funny thing about that massacre. Not only did Dr. Bloom survived, she got rich. Lecter’s living in the lap under her care. What kind of arrangement you suppose they have?” Freddie asked.

“A complicated one,” you said sternly.

“Couldn’t be more complicated than your relationship with Hannibal. Both of you. You paid him a visit? Before you lie, know that I know that you did,” she said quickly.

“Good-bye Freddie.”

“I read your note before my office forwarded it to the Grahams,” Jack said, standing in front of Will. Hannibal swallowed, understanding.

“To whet their appetite or yours? You’ve placed him back in the pot and you’re letting him cook.”

“We’re all in this stew together.”

“Arguable considering how close Y/N is to drowning you.”

You stepped into the hotel room where Will was already sitting on the bed. You ran a hand through your hair and let the chilly cold wash over you as you entered the warm room.

“How are the dogs?” he asked.

“Good. The dog sitters said they were missing us but other than that, they’re okay,” you promised. You looked down at the dog that was laying on the ground beside the bed. “She’ll be right at home with them.”

You sat on the bed and Will sat up, putting his arms around you from behind. You smiled about him, happy to see he was feeling better.

“I’m worried about the kids,” he whispered.

“The kids who don’t exist?” He laughed gently.

“Yeah. I don’t want them to end up like me.” You nodded slowly.

“So that’s what Hannibal said that got you worked up.” You took in the information. “If the kid isn’t like you I don’t think I’d be able to love them as much as I love you.”

It was his turn to take in the information.

“You’re just saying that.”

“Nope. I’m serious. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I’ve had the pleasure of loving you Mr. Graham.” He kissed your neck gently and smiled to himself.

“I love you too Mrs. Graham.”

You let out a small sigh of relief.

Will screamed as he sat up quickly, sweating aggressively, blankets flying. You got up just as quickly, turning to him but he had already gotten up, rushing into the bathroom. You followed him, sleep that had just taken you over long gone.

You practically ran up to him. He was looking at himself in the mirror, fear in his eyes at his reflection. You grabbed him quickly and he turned to you, wrapping his arms around you. You didn’t speak. You didn’t ask questions. You just held him as close as you could get him.

Nightmares had come back. Neither of you had had those in a while. You rubbed his back and let him breath.

3x10

#will graham x reader #hannibal lecter x reader #will graham x reader x hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter x reader x will graham #will graham imagines #hannibal lecter imagines #hannibal imagines

186 notes · View notes

percywinchester27 · 4 years

Text

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-36)

Word count: 5.6K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Feels, PTSD, fluff

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23. Love you babe <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

“I’ve decided I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m going home.”

“Jack!” You grabbed him by his elbow just as he turned. “You can’t abandon me!”

He looked a bit terrified. “I can’t do this, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure you can. Jody is awesome and you’re so cute. I know she will like you.”

Jack did not look convinced. A tiny part of you was nervous with him. He was about to meet his girlfriend's mom for the first time. After calling Sam to tell him that you were up for the picnic, the wild optimism in his voice had you wearing out the carpet of your living room, freaking out about messing it up- for Sam and for Max. As a last resort, you had knocked on your neighbour’s door and convinced Jack to accompany you. As it turned out, Claire had been after him for a while to meet her family, and Jack being Jack was worrying the hell out of it.

Now, you stood in front of the gate of your building, waiting for Sam to come pick you up, and not letting each other chicken out of this situation. That’s what friends did.

“It’s not just Jody,” Jack admitted. “It’s also your husband.”

Your heart still lurched at the word. “Sam? What about him?”

Jack groaned, rolling his head. “I don’t know. You’re our Y/N… and then suddenly we find out you’re married. I really want to like him, but he’ll take you away from us.”

You were touched by his words, and the innocence in them. “No one can take me away. In fact, this is just my grand scheme to make sure that you’re stuck with me for life now. I’ve been slowly getting you hooked to the cookies. Soon there will come a day when you’ll realise you can't live without them. And then you just can’t get rid of me. It’ll be too late.”

Jack smiled at you and slung his arm around your soldier. “It’s not the cookies we’re getting addicted to, it’s you.”

A car made the swift turn and came to a stop next to the gate, right in front of you- Sam’s sleek, black Mercedes.

Jack let out a low whistle. “I take it all back. You get back together with this guy and adopt me. Max is so much nicer than Kevin anyway. I'll share a room with him. I’ll do the dishes everyday.”

You were crying because of laughter by the time Sam opened his door and stepped out.

“You alright?” He asked, face startled but amused.

Nodding and gasping for breath, you made the hasty introductions. Jack gave his patented customary hand raise of a greeting with palm facing forward. Sam was going for a handshake but seeing Jack’s wave, he did the same with a smile.

From the backseat, Max called out your name. Without caring about the rest, you opened the door and got in besides him, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, Y/N, aren’t you riding shotgun?” Jack asked, voice restrained to appear casual.

“Nah, you got it. I’m going to hangout in the back with Max.”

Jack might be looking daggers at you for throwing him under the bus, but you knew he’d live. Sam was excellent company. In the next fifteen minutes of the ride, you were proven right, because Jack was busy discussing the mysterious circumstances under which Edgar Allan Poe died, and how The murders in Rue Morgue was actually his best work. Sam was exceptionally well read and Jack was in his element with literature discussions.

You turned to Max, showing him your basket. “Look, what I got for you- your favourite cookies and a pie!”

He let out a squeal of delight and you snuck a cookie out for him.

The car was spotless, rich upholstery gleaming, but you knew Sam couldn’t care less if Max got crumbs on the seats. Right on track, Max dug into the cookie, not bothering about the mess. Secretly, it pleased you that you were beginning to decode their relationship.

“I didn’t know what the others would like, so I baked muffins and some savoury croissants. You think that’s okay?”

“Stop gnawing over it, Y/N,” Sam said. “Everyone’s gonna love it.”

You didn’t think he was even paying any attention to you. Course you were wrong. His eyes were melting in the rearview mirror as he smiled at you.

“Y/N woke up at 4:30 in the morning to get everything set,” Jack added.

You bent forward to look at him. “How do you know that?”

“I could hear your beater whirring. Thin walls.”

“That woke you up? I’m so sorry, Jack!”

Jack snorted. “Was she always like this?”

“Always,” said Sam, with all the warmth. You could feel the heat in your chest.

For the rest of the ride, you happily listened to Max chatter about the badminton racquet in the trunk and Claire’s home bowling set. He was such a joy to listen to when he was just being a kid and not careful. You listened very attentively, picking out the things that were only in the subtext of his words. Max loved these people- Jody, her girls and even Chase. He knew their habits and their natures like a family. Sam must have relied on them a lot and often.

You were so lost in Max’s words, that the car was already silently cruising along the San Francisco bay. The water stretched by one side of the road. Instinctively, you tightened the grip on Max’s hand.

Why hadn’t you thought to ask where the picnic was!

As it turned out, the place they had chosen was very serene… The little landscape was a small distance walk from the highway, secluded enough that it wasn’t frequented, but beautiful nonetheless. Tall, full trees dominated the landscape. The rich fall colours, oddly made the shade underneath brighter somehow, inviting. The shadows of the trees bleeded into an open, grassy area and ultimately into the sandy, pebbly waterline of the bay.

You wrinkled your nose at the sight of nestled ducks. Sam smirked at you. Was he remembering the same afternoon? When you had tried to feed the ducks Sam and Dean’s epic failure of muffins?

Two girls were already laying out an assortment of food on the blanket. The blonde turned at the sound of Max’s hoots and her face brightened at the site of Jack. It was adorable. Alex still had her hand in a cast and Jody was hauling a cane chair from behind. All of them looked in a jovial mood. Maybe the whole sneaking out at night debacle was behind them.

Alex greeted you first when you reached them. “It’s great to see you again, Mrs. Winchester.”

You felt rather than saw Sam’s eyes flash towards you. Smiling, you sat down next to her. “Y/N is just fine, Alex. You don’t have to change names all of a sudden.”

Both she and Claire were a little wide eyed. Your situation had clearly been a topic of discussion with them. This girl they randomly knew as Max’s friend or Jack’s neighbor was now suddenly Sam’s wife. It must’ve been bizarre. After sharing a few pleasantries with Jody, you pulled out your own basket.

You had to admit, the reactions were very mollifying as they dug into the muffins, pies and croissants, moaning with closed eyes. Sam gave you a sideways smirk at their reaction.

“That’s it,” Jody declared. “You’re passing the rest of the semester for legal writing without handing in a single assignment. The muffins alone… mmm.”

“Save me some,” Sam complained. It was mostly aimed at Jody.

She scowled at him. “You stop making those eyes at me, Winchester. I’m not giving up my share.” When you giggled she turned towards you. “Did he always do that?”

“Puppy dog eyes of doom? Yeah… always.”

“You make that shit work for you in the court, don’t you? That’s how you win all of them cases,” she grumbled.

“How rude!”

You turned at the offended sound. Chase stood behind you with arms crossed over his chest.

“You guys started eating without me?” He huffed, sitting down on your other side and turned to Max. “Your dad, I can expect that from. Since when did you turn into such an Iago?”

“I saved you the cookies,” Max said promptly, pulling the bag from behind him. There was a small furor which was mostly the girls complaining about how they didn’t know there were cookies. It ended with Chase clutching the bag to his chest.

“Flee away, children,” he said. “I need the cookies to mend my broken heart.”

“What happened to your girlfriend? Weren’t you bringing her with you?” Sam asked.

Chase threw him a very impressive shade. “She dumped me, Samuel.”

“Why?”

“She couldn’t bear that I was prettier than her.”

You suspected Chase was just playing it out for the cookies. He did not look heartbroken in the least.

Once the food stash was considerably depleted, the girls, Jack and Max, picked up the racquets and divided their teams for Badminton. When Max insisted that you join them, Sam vehemently supported your argument of terrible hand-eye coordination. He knew and much like yourself, did not want to put other people in the way of the harm that you might inflict. In the end, only the group of four ended up on the blankets. Sam, Jody, you and Chase who was almost lying on his side, head resting on his hand, propped up on an elbow. He looked younger in a t-shirt and jeans.

“I still can’t believe you can cook all of this by yourself! No wonder Sam didn’t want to junk the marriage.”

“Chase!” Sam admonished, mortified, but you enjoyed Chase’s unapologetic behaviour, being all too tired of people stepping on eggshells around you- especially Sam.

“No, it’s alright,” you said, grinning at Chase, who returned your grin with a wink.

“You don’t happen to have a sister, do you?” He enquired.

“Well, actually…”

“Someone other than Jo,” he added quickly. “God knows I won’t survive a minute if I went toe to toe with Dean Winchester. One Winchester is enough to keep me in line.”

Sam threw Chase his classic bitchface then went back to his conversation with Jody. Eyeing his absorption, Chase tilted his head towards the side, “Care to join me for a walk, Y/N?”

You chanced a look at Sam, who was busy discussing a faculty matter and nodded. As quietly as you could, the two of you got up and moved away.

“So, did you end up applying? To Acton Gris, I mean?” He asked, hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his pants.

“I did, the very evening. I’m trying not to be too hopeful.”

His green eyes regarded you. “Now, whyever would you do that?”

“Because I’m a realist and I know what type of competition I’m up against.”

Chase chuckled. “You’re too idealistic, Y/N. Even more than Mr. Mc-dreamy over there. Never thought I’d see him topped in that category. I’m still hopeful. Looks like I’m the only one.”

“Why do you care?” You asked. “What does it matter to you if I end up in Acton Gris or not?”

“It doesn’t. I think it would be great for your career and it’s my duty being from the same alma mater to further your cause.”

You raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “And this has nothing to do with Sam.”

Chase was quiet for a long time, watching his steps as you strolled along the waterline, a safe distance away from it. You had given up on expecting an answer and were just beginning to wonder what would be a good time to turn around and head back when he finally spoke, “I’ll admit I haven’t been your biggest fan, Y/N. Sam never said a word against you… and that is exactly what pissed me off.”

This was in line with what you had pretty much already assumed so it didn’t come as a surprise.

“I’m telling you this because I know you ain’t a snowflake,” said Chase. “You don’t have the liberty to be a snowflake after everything you’ve been through. I also know you don’t care about my opinion of you.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” you pointed out.

He sighed. “I suggested that you try at Acton Gris not for Sam’s sake but mine. That part I told you about- how Sam’s too high up to be involved with paralegals- is one hundred percent true. But I wanted to get to know you for myself.”

“To see if I was any good for Sam?”

Chase snorted. “This whole deal makes me sound like Sam’s possessive mistress but I am protective of him… and of his boy over there. I’ve been around for the start of that story, and they’ve been hurt enough. I am cad for saying this but I just didn’t trust you enough, and Sam being Sam was pining after you from day one… it’s quite tiresome to watch.”

“And now what? You suddenly approve of me? I passed some invisible test?”

“You guys are already married, who the heck am I to set a test for you? For the majority part I was telling the truth, you know. You’d flourish at Acton Gris. It would make you happy and Sam would be over the moon. But I still want to get to know you better.” He paused. “I haven’t had the best of family life growing up. More money than I could count, but my mother ditched me and my dad before I could spell out her name. I’ve seen him miserable for all his life… and well, it gave me mommy issues to last a lifetime.” Chase winked. “So all the meddling is clearly not me projecting my childhood abandonment issues on you. Clearly!”

Chase’s blunt honesty surprised you. He owed you nothing at all. Yet here he was answering all your questions. While he was at it, you decided to ask one more.

“Now you think I won’t break Sam’s heart?”

He looked at you and shook his head lightly. “I don’t know that. What I do know is that you won’t be able to break his heart without breaking your own first. I’ve only ever wanted him to be happy. Tried setting him up with a hundred girls, the guy just wouldn’t budge. Then you come back and it’s fucking sunshine all over his face. I know when to give up.”

Oddly, you understood exactly where Chase was coming from. He was so strongly rooted in Sam’s corner, all of his thoughts were biased, even if it meant being critical and wary of you. You hadn’t tried to achieve it, but somewhere in the middle you had gained both Chase’s confidence and his liking.

“What’s it like working under Sam?” You asked, changing the topic as well as voicing a curiosity.

Chase gave you a look. “Now or then?”

“Both,” you said after a minute.

“You’ve got to know, I used to look up to Sam when I was at Stanford- not that he knew I existed back then. He was in the final year, I was in the first, and he was everything I wanted to be- Top of his class, valedictorian, popular with the ladies. I applied at Johnson’s because of that.” He paused, continuing only after an encouraging look from you. “He was nothing like I remembered. Every time I faced him, there was a very real risk of being fired for the smallest mistake.”

Chase laughed. You did not. He was describing a Sam you couldn’t imagine, a Sam that shouldn’t have existed.

“Now he’s my best friend. At any rate, he’s about the only person who puts up with my dumb antics.”

“He puts up with a lot from a lot of people,” you murmured, absentmindedly staring at the lake.

A small moment caught your eye. The birdy that had been flying back and forth between the girls and the boys, flew over a bit too high and far. And as a reflex, Max, his eyes up, backed away fast.

“No!” You were already running by the time you realised that the terrified scream was yours.

“No, no… Chirp!” You shouted, but it was too late as the boy’s feet hit the wet slope. He slipped and tumbled back, rolling right into the water.

Your legs were aching from how hurriedly you dove after him, right into the bay, lashing in the water till your hands found Max’s body. Yanking him out of the water and against your body, you backed off quickly. You cradled his body on the sandy shore, frantically checking his face, arms to make sure he was alright. Max didn’t look hurt, just shocked and a bit scared.

“Are you okay?” You asked, too loudly. Max nodded.

Hands landed on your shoulder, your head. Voices told you to let go but you did not release Max, not till another voice murmured in your ear, “It’s alright, Y/N. He’s okay.”

You turned on Sam. “Why did you let him near water? Why weren’t you paying any attention?” You yelled, not relinquishing your hold on Max.

Sam crouched down before you, not attempting to reach out to Max, who was staring wide eyed at you.

“What if something had happened to him?” You wiped at your tears with the back of your hand. “He’s just a little boy! How could you be so careless?”

Sam shrugged out of his jacket and carefully wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Max is alright,” he said calmly, “You can let go of him.”

“No!”

“Y/N, you’re all wet and you’re starting to shake. Get inside the car before it gets worse.”

“But Max…”

“Max is fine,” Sam said in the same patient tone. “Look at the water, it’s not even waist deep. This side of the bay is very shallow for, at least, fifty yards and Max can swim very well.”

The realisation came very suddenly. Max had never been in any danger at all. The girls had sarongs on, maybe they had all intended a swim. You had needlessly created a scene, drenched Max more than he needed to be and yelled at Sam for being an irresponsible father.

The tears spilled over again but because of a different reason this time- shame. You let go of Max the next instant, staring pointedly at the ground.

Max turned in your lap. Small, soft hands came up to wipe away the tears from your eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said. “I won’t go near the water again.”

You threw your arms around him again and sobbed against his little neck. The people around you seemed to be closing in but you didn’t want to look up at any of them. Your heartbeat was thudding erratically against Max’s head but he didn’t make a move to leave or get up.

“C’mon, girls, start packing,” Jody ordered over you. “Give Y/N some space to breathe. You, too, lover boy!”

Four sets of feet scampered away.

“Chase, take Max to the blankets. There’s a fresh set of clothes in his bag.”

You did not want to let go of the boy. Doing so would make you face Sam.

It seemed Max was reluctant as well, but with one look at Sam, he disentangled himself. You felt the softest brush of his lips on your cheek and then Max was walking away, his hand in Chase’s.

Sam put both his hands against your arms and pulled you to your feet. He drew his coat tightly around you and started walking you towards his car, his palm firmly planted against your back.

You let him, without another word as he opened the door of the passenger seat for you to get in. Sam got in on the other side and turned the heat up. Only when the car started did you shake out of the quiet.

“Wait. Max?”

“Don’t worry about him. Chase will drive him home.”

Sam’s voice betrayed no emotion. Not anger or hurt. It was as composed as the many lectures he had delivered.

Ashamed of even meeting his gaze, you tipped your head against the window, glad that the side was facing the road instead of the bay and closed your eyes. It felt like floating in bliss if you buried your emotions down- this sensation of gliding on a smooth road, the heat in the car swirling with the scent of Sam’s cologne. It felt familiar and safe.

All too soon you were jerked awake, the car easing into the driveway and coming to a stop. It was already dark outside. Somehow you had slept through the whole ride. Your clothes were completely dry.

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered, his voice like velvet in the darkness. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Straightening up, you turned to face Sam who was looking down at you with concern etched on his face. Slowly, you took his hand in yours and spoke through a hoarse voice, looking at them. “Please forgive me.” Those three words did not even begin to cover the regret you felt over what had happened. You were an outsider, looking in on Sam’s life with this strange hunger and desire. You wanted to be a part of his little family so bad, but you weren’t yet. You didn’t know Max the way Sam did, did not understand Max’s choices, and the thoughts behind them. You did not have a right to him or Sam. Ignoring all of that, you had yelled at Sam, the way a wife would yell at her husband for neglecting their child. But, Sam wasn’t neglecting Max. Max wasn’t your son and you were barely Sam’s wife.

“It was thoughtless and stupid to raise my voice at you and say those words. I forgot that Max belongs to you, that you could never be careless towards him. I had no right to yell at you in front of everyone.”

Maybe it was all for good. Let Sam see what you were capable of. If he saw the truth of how broken you were, maybe he would stop wanting you in his life. Everyone knew how hysteric you could get now. So much for Jody rooting for you. So much for Chase’s hopes of Sam getting to be happy. They all saw you for who you truly were.

“You remember what I told you the other night?” Sam asked. “When you came over and we sat by the swing?”

The lightness of his voice made you look up. He should be angry, at least, pissed.

“I told you that I didn’t care what people thought about us.”

“Doesn’t justify what I did… How it must’ve looked...”

“You know how it looked to me?”

Sam’s eyes were clear, no resentment in them. “To me it looked like you ran to protect my son without caring for your life. You didn’t know the water wasn’t deep, you can’t swim and you’re fucking terrified of water. I’m not even talking about what the cold does to you. Why on earth would I care about how this looks to anyone else?”

You were transfixed by the depth of his words.

“Those people either love you or love me. I’m sure they saw it no differently than how I see it.”

“What about Max? I must’ve scared him so bad.” The poor boy hadn’t said anything except apologise to you for stepping in the water. It hadn’t been his fault.

Sam pursed his lips. “I wouldn’t worry too much about him. I think he’s concerned about you the most.”

You put your head in your hands, weary. The fear was still an echo in your stomach despite the sleep, and it was getting stronger every minute- what if something had happened to Max?

“Can I ask you something?” Sam sounded hesitant.

“Mhmm.”

“Do you remember what you said right before you jumped in the water?”

You frowned, trying to remember. “Wasn’t I calling out to Max?” There had been no time to say anything or do anything else.

Sam’s face was tender as he said, “Yeah, you were calling out to Max.”

What a weird thing to ask! You tried harder, failing to remember what Sam was talking about.

Lights flared up behind. You leaned back, not realising just how close you were to Sam. The car coming from behind came to a halt at the start of the driveway. The doors opened and Max and Jack spilled out from either sides. Jack reached your door first. He opened it and pulled you into a hug without waiting for you to turn.

“Hey, hey, I’m okay.”

“You were shaking so bad.”

It was actually nothing compared to what Jack could have witnessed if Sam hadn’t whisked you off into the car and in front of a heater.

Chase’s reaction was a bit more subdued. He looked worried about how you were doing and wasn’t his usual boisterous self. When Sam invited him for dinner, he took a raincheck. So did Jack. Once, Chase had driven away, Sam looked at you expectantly, but you just shook your head. You had intruded on their time too much already.

You crouched down to Max’s level who was uncharacteristically quiet. “I scared you today, didn’t I?”

Max didn’t say anything. He placed the back of his hand against your forehead and then under your jaw.

“I’m alright, sweetie,” you assured him.

Max hugged you around the neck, and you hugged back tightly just for a second. You would jump inside a hundred lakes a hundred times without a single thought if it meant Max would be safe.

“I love you,” Max whispered very quietly in your ear. You were sure no one else had heard it.

Just as quietly, you whispered back. “I love you, too, my little boy.”

“Get inside, Max,” Sam said. “Wash your hands and change out of your clothes. I’ll be there in a minute to run the bath for you.”

With a small sigh, Max went inside, but not before giving you a smile.

“I’ll wait for you right outside the gate,” Jack told you. “It was great meeting you, Sam.”

“Likewise,” said Sam.

You watched Jack almost run out of sight.

“Cool kid,” Sam muttered, eyes in the same direction.

You sighed. “I can’t believe I ruined the picnic and put a damper on everyone’s mood.”

“C’mere.” Sam gently pulled you to him, so that your body was leaning against his. One hand was curled around your shoulder and his other hand was against your lower back. You could feel the tips on his fingers against the little skin exposed between the hem of your shirt and the waistband of your pants. It sent a thrill through your body. “It’s like you have to find something to worry about all the time. Quit doing that. Everyone’s just glad that you’re okay. We’ll do this again sometime, alright? We can push Chase in the water next time.”

You snorted.

“And don’t worry about the yelling. You know I always liked it when you got bossy like that.”

Sam’s words made you giggle.

“There’s my girl.” His warm breath washed over your face.

What you did next was inexcusable. Without warning, you were reaching up on the tips of your toes, kissing him. Sam was surprised, his hands left your body, but you threw yours around his neck, raising yourself up against his tall frame. He was so shocked that he lost his balance and fell back against the wall next to his door. You did not give up, sucking on his lower lip, feeling the roll of his muscles under your hand.

Sam let out a primal sound and the next second you were turning, it was your back to the wall now. He hoisted you up against the surface by your waist with one hand, hitching your leg around his waist. The other hand tangled in your hair as his mouth worked hard against yours. His taste was heady, intoxicating and the way he was kissing you was enough to make you forget where you were, what you were doing. It would make you forget your own name. The hand at your waist travelled under the hem of your shirt, clutching at the skin on your lower back, and his lips started to travel downwards, sucking, biting, along your chin to your jaw and back down again to the column of your neck. Sam wasn’t gentle… and as you gasped, indecently, eyes closed, you didn’t want him to be gentle either.

No, you wanted him to be rougher, go harder and never stop.

“Daaaaaadd!” Max sang from the inside and the two of your sprang apart. Your feet landed on the ground with resounding reality.

"Coming," he said, voice thick.

Sam bent down, hands on his knees, gasping hard.

“Oops!” You muttered.

He looked up at you with a boyish grin, face flushed, looking years younger.

“I better go,” you said, biting your lip. “Jack’s waiting for me.”

You wanted nothing more than for him to ask you to stay and by the looks of it, he wanted the exact same thing.

“Uhhh yeah…” Sam huffed, shifting slightly, trying to adjust his jeans furtively. That made your face grow hotter.

“Bye!” You ducked out of the porch, not looking back, least you should turn around and attack him again. What had gotten into you to react so wildly? That must’ve been highly inappropriate!

A small voice in your head told you that it was anything but inappropriate… technically, at least.

Jack’s face lit up when he saw you and then it immediately dropped.

“What happened?”

“Y-Your hair!” He muttered, looking anywhere but at you.

“Oh!” It was mussed up in all directions. Hurriedly, you ran your fingers through it, hoping for some semblance. “Sorry.”

After a minute, Jack sneaked a glance and then smiled impishly. “I’m sorry. It’s just the idea of you making out with someone gives me the heebies… You’re like my sister!” He screwed up eyes into slits to show the cringe.

You laughed.

At the door, Jack gave you another hug. “I gotta say, Y/N, I wasn’t convinced about this whole Sam business before today. Neither was Kev. You know we would always support you with whatever you decided, but seeing you with him was very relieving. I won’t worry again.”

It was heartening, how much everyone cared for you.

You had to take a cold shower once inside, despite your composition. It was regretful, because the water washed away the remnants of Sam’s smell off of you. Idly, you wondered if you could steal the shirt he had lent you and keep it for yourself, climb into it when you went to bed like you used to.

The shower was necessary to reign in the utter chaos that was your brain. The evening had been eventful enough, but what had happened on Sam’s porch? How were you ever going to keep your hands away from him now? Abstaining was your idea to begin with. Sam had bared his heart to you, and this was your decision to keep your hands to yourself till you said the three words back to him.

So much for self control. But the way he’d looked at you, angels would have fallen for less. You were only a human. Besides, nothing would ever compare to the feeling of Sam’s lips, his fingers digging in your back, his body pressed against yours.

You got into the bed, missing the warmth of his body when your phone pinged. Rolling on your stomach, you reached out to grab it from the nightstand praying the text was from the one person you wanted it to be from. It was.

*I missed that. I missed us*

Hugging the phone to your chest, you sighed like a teenager back from her first kiss. The incidence with water should have shaken you, the way you were wrecked anytime you got drenched, instead you were laying in bed grinning like an idiot.

*I missed us, too*

His reply was instantaneous.

*It’s been a while…*

What an idiot! You knew what he was implying. As if he could ever be less than perfect at anything, especially at that.

You typed your response quickly.

*Oh, Mr. Winchester, you always knew how to show a girl a good time*

The tightening in your stomach which refused to go away despite the cold shower was proof enough. Your skin still tingled.

*That’s comforting… and encouraging ;)*

Yes, it was going to be really hard to go back to keeping your hands off each other now. Being around him was like breaking dams. Once you broke one, it was impossible to put that barrier back up again. The class tomorrow was going to be excruciating. For tonight, you let the wildest fantasies mingled with old memories take up all of your brain space. Even if it left you writhing in your sheets.

*Good night, Mr. Winchester*

You saw the three dots following one another and then disappearing as Sam typed. Once, twice, thrice. Finally the little pop up bubble appeared.

*Good night, Mrs. Winchester. I love you*

**********************************

A/N 2: I quite like this part. Gave me the chance to explore how delicate, confusing, dependent and volatile emotions can be at the same time. I think if I hadn’t had the backing of 35 chapters, I’d never be able to pull of the conversations in this chapter, Sam, Chase, Jack... all of them. They wouldn’t have been as funny, emotional or exciting. That’s just me thinking maybe.

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g0ldengubler · 4 years

Text

chapter 6~life is a “high” way

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: this chapter is honestly one of personal favs because we get to see more of spencer feeling more confident in himself in a way while still being him and it’s just aaaaa :’) tomorrow you will get chapter 7 but then after that, expect chapters to come out a bit slower, including requests (which i am working on currently and thank you so much for sending them my way!). lots of my focus needs to be on my personal life but writing helps me get through all of that hell, so i’m in a very wishy washy position lol. thank you so much for the love on nauseous i love uuuuuu

Category: fluff w smut at the end

CW: road head, d/s dynamic, daddy kink

Word Count: 3282

before you read | last chapter | next chapter (coming soon!*)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer parks in front of your apartment building and stays in his seat as you get out. You both had decided that packing up right away and not going to lunch was better. That way, you can learn more about each other on the way there. You couldn't wait to get inside that smarty-pants brain of his and find out what's really going on in there.

You shut the car door and start walking, but stop when you don't hear his footsteps behind you. When you walk back to the car, you see Spencer sticking his battery in the cigarette lighter to charge.

"You're more than welcome to come in, y'know." You chuckled.

Spencer looks up at you, licking his lips as he moves some of his hair behind his ear. "It's ok, I don't want to bother."

"You won't be a bother. I've been to yours, now you can come into mine."

"Oh, so that's how that works huh? You have to go into the guys apartment before the guy goes to yours?" Spencer said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean!" You pull open the car and grab his hand, "C'mon, Spence. You'll be fine!"

He giggles under his breath and comes out of the car. After locking it, the two of you head inside and up the elevator to the 4th floor. Once at your door, you unlock it and open up to 4 paws jumping onto you. You hear Spencer gasp in surprise and giggle at his reaction, making it seem like you were giggling at your two buddies. Sitting on your old couch was your next door neighbor, Seth, who was watching Pose on the tv.

"Thank you again for watching the boys while I was gone. I really owe you big time for doing this." you say as you get up from the floor.

Seth gets off of the couch and walks up to you to give you a hug. "Anytime! If anything, they can stay at my place when you go on a case-" He stops and looks over at Spencer, standing awkwardly by the door still and letting the dogs sniff him, "Although, it seems like this new case was a success."

"Shut up, Seth!" You giggle, lightly slapping him on the arm. Realizing you forgot your manners, you quickly try to take it back. "Seth, meet Dr.Spencer Reid. Doc, meet my neighbor, Seth."

Seth reached his hand out to shake, but Spencer politely denies. "Sorry, I-I don't shake hands. It's actually been proven that it's safer to kiss." You catch Seth's eyes looking him up and down. "Seth stop teasing him like that!" You laugh. Spencer wasn't into guys, but somehow Seth looking at him made you a little jealous. You're not even dating the man, y/n shut up, you think to yourself.

"You and I will talk later." He says.

"Oh, Spence! These are my babies. The scottie is Benedict and the husky is Draco."

The room went silent for a moment, Spencer trying to hold in a chuckle. "Yes, I did name them after Benedict Cumberbatch and Draco Malfoy. I've had them picked out since I was a teenager, don't judge."

"Oh c'mon hun," said Seth, "it's adorable that you named them the way you did."

"It is," Spencer spoke, "I didn't depict you as a nerd."

"Oh my god, you kidding? She's probably the biggest nerd I've ever met with all her Sherlock and other crime shows, Harry Potter, Doctor Wh-"

"Ok, I think he gets it Seth!" You cut him off. That was enough embarrassment for today.

"I will say, Benedict or Tom Felton could always come my way."

You slap him on the arm again laughing. You look back at Spencer, who was awkwardly chuckling along with. You then announce that you were going to get in the shower. "Seth, can you take them for a few more nights? We're going up to my dad's cabin back home for the weekend. Also, when I get out and do my makeup, you promised me that you would tell me how your date went last night with 'Mr.Perfect' as you said it."

"Bitch I have ALLLLLL the tea that I'm not missing on spilling!"

"Good. Now you two get along. And Spence," He looks up at you, his hazel eyes looking into you...

"Don't miss me too much, hm?"

Then you walked into your bathroom, trying to wrap your brain on the fact that you just said that to him.

~Spencer's POV~ I can't believe she said that.

She left me here a little turned on. I could start feeling my pants getting tight and had to put my bag over myself as I sat on the couch so then I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of Seth. I looked around her apartment to distract myself of thoughts of being in the shower with her. She had a very interesting aesthetic. Walls white with old picture frames that had beautifully taken old photos in them. The lamps that were in the living room looked like they were from the 70's, old gold coating chipped off at some parts of the stand. While there was a vintage look to her place, it was also very modern at the same time, a minimalistic look took over her kitchen. She had a fake vine hanging from the wall behind her tv, some of it covering her maroon record player. In some ways, our aesthetics were similar. If she had a bookcase in here, I'd feel like I was at my place.

Seth and I began to get to know each other. I came to find out that Seth worked as a bartender at a club, and he enjoyed taking photos for his social media. "I would love to be a photographer," he said, "but right now it's just a hobby that I do mostly during the colder months." He says cold, cloudy days (especially if it's raining) were the best times to take photos, in his opinion.

"So," he says, "you work with y/n at the BAU?"

"Yeah, we've really become good friends in the past 9 days. It's like we've known each other for years. Plus, she's great out on the field. She's definitely someone myself and the rest of the team will never take for granted."

"Thank god," Seth said as I heard the water turn off, "She told me that it was her dream to be a part of the BAU. She would never stop talking about it when she was in college."

"Hm, she never mentioned that to me."

"Well, let her tell you on your way to the cabin. She'll love it."

After a little bit more conversation, y/n came back to the living room. Her hair was damp, not fully wet but not dry either. She had thrown on a white turtle neck shirt with a brown sweater vest over it. She matched it with darker brown corduroy pants, cuffing the bottoms. In her hands was what looked like to be her makeup bag. She sat down in front of the mirror that was in the corner on the left side of the tv (when you look at the tv), beginning the process.

Seth and y/n talk about his date from last night and got pretty detailed about it. He talked about how the man took him to a gay bar that was a few blocks from here, and how they danced and drank the night away. "Oh and then get this," says Seth, "we're pretty drunk at this point, right? Well at one point, the local queen that performed came up to me and tried to flirt and shit, thinking she was all that and a bag of lashes, and he saw how uncomfortable I was and stood up for me. And let me tell you, he was REA-DY to throw hands!"

"Stooooop he's literally a keeper!" y/n says.

Once she was done with her makeup, she gets up and goes back to her room, coming back out with her luggage. She goes over to the door to grab a pair of Vans and comes back to tell Seth and her children goodbye.

"I'll be back in a few days. Thanks again, Seth. I really-"

"Owe me one, I know I know!" Seth cuts her off, "Now go have some fun and relax, you need to after working so damn hard for this job!" He turns to me and waves. "And it was very nice meeting you, Doctor."

"It was nice to meet you, too! But please, you can just call me Spencer."

Seth smiles as we walk out the door. What this trip will bring? For once, I'm letting fate take the lead instead of science.

~Y'N's POV~ It had been about a few hours of being on the road. At this point, you were somewhere in Pennsylvania, but not sure if you were close enough to Philly to grab a cheesesteak. You think back to the start of the drive. You suggested that you'd be the dj because your library on spotify had a full range of genres with some songs you had no clue were in there. "It'd be a fun little journey!" You told Spencer. And that it was, a journey.

You ended up driving right by a dispensary before even leaving DC. Garcia told you that that's where she gets her stuff, but knowing that bringing a lot of weed across the country wouldn't be a fun trip, you two decided to go with the original plan and just wait till you get to Michigan.

You could tell Spencer was getting a kick out of your music library. While majority of the songs he didn't know, he was still being goofy and jamming out along with you, trying to match the same energy you were having. The songs that talked about sex, drugs, and/or alcohol surprised him every time, his jaw dropping or his eyes bulging out of his head as he listened to the lyrics. You couldn't help yourself but laugh at his reactions, which would make him laugh along with you.

You two weren't alone, however. You were pretty much sucking down on the carts you still had, although you both made a deal that whoever was driving could only get a little high if they wanted to, drinking plenty of water and eating snacks to sober you up a bit if needed.

Driving through Pennsylvania, you look out the window and onto the scenery around you. You weren't paying attention, however, because you couldn't stop the dirty thoughts that intruded your mind. You couldn't help to think about giving him head, since you hadn't done it yet because both times he gave you all the pleasure. You couldn't wait to get to the cabin and go straight to your knees for him. Suddenly, you tried to get them out of your head. 'You're getting way too excited, y/n. STOP IT!' you thought to yourself.

You decided to just feel everything around you, taking a few more hits from your pen before taking it in. Nineteen by Movements was playing; it was like you could feel the song itself and everything about it as you looked up at the very tall street lamps passing by. Nothing felt better than this moment. Just you and Spencer out on the open road. It felt like nothing could stop you two. You felt free, but you also felt safe and complete, something you haven't felt in a long time.

At one point, you couldn't take it anymore. It was 2:30am and Spencer was still driving. He told you to get some sleep but you weren't sleepy or tired at all. You tried to feel free but when you did, you thought of Spencer, which led to dirty thoughts. It was like you couldn't escape it, and every time the thoughts came, you couldn't help but secretly rub your thighs together for some kind of friction.

As you tried to get the thoughts out of your head, you look over to see a nice little surprise. The passing lights outside helping you see, you noticed the bulge in Spencer's pants. How in the hell would he be getting hard now of all times? Were dirty thoughts intruding his mind, too? Seeing that made you even more wet than you already were. This was your chance.

You look out to the open road in front of you, and gently graced your fingers across his bulge. You look out the corner of your eye...nothing. Not even a flinch. 'Playing hard to get, hm?' You thought to yourself. So you did it again, which made him shift in his seat a little, still pretending he didn't notice anything. Finally, with some kind of courage that you never knew you had, you grabbed his cock through his pants and slowly started to stroke it. His eyes came out of his head, letting out a small gasp.

"You know I'm driving, right?" He asked, "We could crash if I'm paying attention more to this and not on the road."

You give him a smirk, "It's almost 3am," you begin to say, but then you notice that you're the only car on the road, "and no one else is on the road right now."

You start to undo his belt with your one hand. "You pleasured me twice already," you continue, your hand successfully undoing the belt and undoing the zipper on his pants, reaching inside to pull out his already, fully hard cock, "I need to show my thanks somehow, don't I?"

Spencer shifts in his seat, keeping his eyes out on the road. You were kind of hoping he was looking for somewhere to pull over, but you wouldn't mind doing it as he drove. "You...you already did...b-by inviting me to your dad's cabin."

You stopped stroking and he almost let out a whimper. "I saw that bulge in your pants just a few minutes ago, are you suuuurree you don't want to...daddy?"

Just hearing the word 'daddy' made him grab your hair tightly. You smiled as you shifted your position in your seat to go down on him. When you were ready, Spencer stopped at a red light and pulled your face close to his, lips almost ghosting each other.

"You better make daddy feel good then, since you're being such a fucking brat right now." He whispered as you continued to slowly stroke him again.

You couldn't even react to what he said because once the light turned green, he guided your head down to his cock before letting the tightness on your head go and letting his hand rest on top. You decided to egg on your bratty-ness by teasing the tip, giving him kitty licks at first and then slowly just running your tongue in it, licking up the pre cum.

Spencer tightens his grip again, making you whimper. "I'm not sure doing that is a good idea, angel. Do you want to get punished once we're there?"

You shook your head no, but the thought of him punishing you made you feel yourself drip between your thighs.

Spencer moves his grip from your hair and slaps your ass with a huge SMACK, which made you moan loudly. "You have to use your words, angel. Unless you want to be a little slut tonight."

You look up at him to see his eyes were still on the road. You smirk as you pump him a few times before taking his head in your mouth. You bob up and down slowly, hearing him grunt and curse under his breath. You step it up by going down a little lower, each time going back up and then going lower until you had all of him in your mouth. You stayed like that for a few moments, gagging on it.

"Oh fuuuck that's it...that's it baby, take my cock in your mouth, just like that." He says before pulling you off to let you breathe. He's quiet for a moment before he says, "Now I'm going to guide you, angel. You're gonna make daddy feel more good than he already was, got it?"

"Yes, daddy." you answer, knowing that he wanted to hear you say again.

He pushes your head back on his cock, moving you head faster than before. He couldn't get enough it, making you gag every so often and pulling you back up. Spencer's cock twitched in your mouth and you knew he was close. He controls your head faster, his rhythm getting sloppy.

"You want me to cum in that pretty mouth of yours, angel? You want daddy's cum?" He growled, trying not to thrust into your mouth as he continues to drive.

"Mhmm!" You moan, which almost made him go over the edge.

"Keep doing that for daddy, moan for me. God, I bet you just love having my cock in your mouth, but I'm sure you're just desperate for my cum."

You moan again. That you were. You wanted his cum so bad in your mouth so you could taste him; taste how good you made him feel.

"Don't...fuck...don't stop doing that, angel...that's it...fuck I'm gonna cum..."

And with that, you feel his cum shoot inside your mouth, letting out moans and cursing. You slowly continued to suck him, getting every last drop. When you did, you move up to face Spencer as he pulled over, showing his cum in your mouth at first and then closing your mouth to swallow and open back up to show him it was gone. The look in his eyes told you that that was the hottest thing he's ever seen.

Spencer pulls you in surprisingly and attacks your lips with his, as if he was hungry for them. He was almost eating your face but you didn't care, you kissed him back and let your tongues play with one another. You both pull away after a bit and he just looks into your eyes. You look into his hazel eyes and felt complete.

"Now, will you stop being a brat and get some sleep?" He asks.

You giggle as you quickly look at the time in the car radio. "It's 3:15," you said, "it's my turn to drive."

"But now you're all tired from pleasing daddy," he jokes, "so you get some sleep, and I'll drive. I really don't mind it. Honest."

"Are you sure?"

Spencer nods his head. You decided to give in and get comfy in your seat.

"Goodnight, Spence." You say as you move the top part of the seat all the way back. You grabbed your traveling pillow and placed it on top of your right arm, laying your head as you turned your body to face away from him.

"Goodnight, angel."

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fan fiction #criminal minds fic #matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler #mgg

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barbasbodaciousbeard · 3 years

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Love you to the Moon and to Saturn

Summary: Caring is not an advantage. To Mycroft, this was a belief he found through the calculated logic that ruled his life. If was analytical and detached and certainly had nothing to do with Sherlock or the childhood neighbor.

A/N: In a break from my regularly scheduled SVU writing, here’s a four part Folklore inspired Mycroft Holmes thing.

Please, picture me in the weeds Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted

“Mycroft, promise you’ll remember me here,” Ruth whispered, laying on the blanket beside where he sat with his legs before him. It was wholly undignified, but it was the clearing they spent their free time in the summer when Sherlock wasn’t there for them to watch over.

“Why here?” he asked, brow lifted as he watched her carefully weaving the bevy of flowers she’d picked. It had made their walk three times as long, but he was content to watch her as the sun shone on red curls and the yellow sundress flowed in the wind. Uncle Rudy wouldn’t approve of the way he was beginning to think of her. The neighbor girl in the summers who helped him watch over his precocious brother and never knew the sister that still haunted his nightmares. He was sixteen now, but the tension was not yet gone in the Holmes house. Ruth’s insistence on dragging him to the clearing always served as a reprieve.

“You don’t act so stuffy, so it’s where I’ll remember you. I want our memories to match when you go off to school in a couple years.” He might have taken offense if she weren’t right, something she must have known because she added, “It’s probably good one of us already acts politely. But I like seeing you when you don’t look so stressed.”

“I’m under no stress, Ruth.”

“You’re a good liar. But we’ve also spent four summers together now. You always play quite serious, but I’m learning to read you.”

There was no reason she needed to know what weighed so heavily on his shoulders. His parents had yet to realize the weight their pressure put on him. He’d been scolded for not watching Eurus more closely, not watching Sherlock and Victor as they played. Then, Uncle Rudy had decided two years before that fourteen was man enough to know the reality and partake in taking care of the family.

Rudy would always claim he occupied a minor position in the British government, but whatever it was allowed him to put Eurus somewhere far, far away. In a few years, Mycroft would go to Oxford, study something that prepped him to join Rudy. When the time came, managing the secrets would be his job. He would minitor Eurus at Sherrinford, hide the secrets away from his parents, let them think their daughter dead and maintain the illusion she was. At least he would give her creature comforts, gifts on birthdays.

Mycroft wouldn’t lose the humanity or kindness Rudy had. It took work to learn it, but it was carefully curated and hidden away, reserved for a select few, and Ruth was one of them. He didn’t want to tell Ruth all the darkness Rudy kept tucked away or the way he had to monitor Sherlock to ensure he didn’t remember Eurus or that redbeard wasn’t truly a dog.

“I am unknowable, Ruth,” he nearly hummed, allowing the corner of his mouth to lift. “But I promise to remember you dirtying a perfectly lovely dress in order to weave flowers into a wreath.”

“It’s a crown, Mycroft,” she said emphatically. “I bring blankets now so you won’t dirty your slacks.”

“What a kindness.”

“You used to be more like me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You act like a teacher. All serious and proper and wearing slacks and a sweater and a collared shirt to spend a day in the yard.”

“I’m just trying to act like an adult.”

“We’re not adults.”

He wanted to tell her he wasn’t allowed to be a child anymore. That he wanted to go with her to get drunk at bonfires and snog and do all the things his peers did. But, between his intellect making most people simply unbearable, the jealousy he wouldn’t acknowledge when some lad talked to Ruth, and the fact that would mean risking something happening to his brother, he couldn’t. If Sherlock were hurt, his parents would blame him, as they did with Eurus, so Mycroft hovered over him. Luckily, he seemed to like the attention from his big brother, often snatching books he knew Mycroft had finished and devouring them to discuss them proudly in earshot of Mycroft.

“I suppose you’re correct. I still have no intention of going to one of those bonfires with you. Sherlock will be home soon. We ought to go back.”

“You’re not his parent.”

“I just enjoy his company.”

She squinted, placing her newly finished ring of flowers atop her head, and he smiled despite himself. It was probably good she made him take these breaks in the summers. Otherwise, he’d never take the time to breathe or feel the sun on his face or anything else. One day, he wouldn’t have the option. Caring wasn’t an advantage. That’s what Rudy kept telling him, but Mycroft couldn’t see how this could be anything but.

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other… Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

“This isn’t tea, Ruth,” he said, distaste apparent as she set the pitcher before him.

“It’s sweet tea, Mycroft. Just try it.”

“You were raised by Americans. This is a bastardization of tea. I won’t have it.”

“You take your tea with so much sugar, anyway. It’s hot out, and I wanted something that wouldn’t make me hotter. There’s mint in it. And sugar. Just try it. For me?”

Mycroft made a noise of dissatisfaction, taking the offered glass and sipping it. He didn’t want to admit it was bearable, but when he took another sip, he could see the look of pride on Ruth’s face. Expectantly, she crossed her arms, and he sighed as he realized she’d wait until he answered.

“It’s acceptable. Still a bastardization. Hot tea is perfectly lovely on a hot day.”

“I’ll take it. Especially given how easily you’re drinking it.”

“Impossible.”

“You love me,” she sang playfully, and he wanted to tell her he was becoming quite sure he did. She was who came to mind when he heard love described. Ruth was who he trusted, was comfortable around, and made him want to be less of a miserable pain. She was also beautiful and smart and interesting, not like everyone else he’d dubbed as goldfish as of late. It was infuriating.

“To the moon and to saturn,” he said softly, mirroring the way she’d said the same thing affectionately to both him and his brother. His eyes were closed as his head rested against the back of the patio swing, and he felt the tickle of Ruth’s braids before he felt her press a kiss to the top of his head. His heart pounded, and Mycroft was suddenly more aware of her closeness as he opened her eyes. The sound of Sherlock calling out to his audience of toys as he played echoed to them, but for once they were the background noise to his mind and all he could focus on was Ruth’s soft laugh as she watched his brother from her place beside him.

“To the moon and to saturn,” she smiled. “You’re my best friend, Mycroft.”

He didn’t like the word friend in that moment, but saying as much would mean admitting he was smitten with her. There was no way he could keep that from mummy and father. He wasn’t one for affection, but he let her rest her head upon his shoulder, a dignified hand pressing to her cheek before returning to his lap.

“And you are mine, Ruth.”

“You mean that?”

“I do.”

“Thank you.”

Ruth stayed against his side, only sitting up when Sherlock ran up clutching some piece of a broken gardening trow he seemed quite proud to have found. Ruth took it gladly, promising she’d try to think of a way to give it a handle again. In the fall and spring, it was always harder for him to keep up with his younger brother; mummy and father both taught at the university and found their time researching and writing indispensable so they could enjoy the winter break and summer. They said the boys would be fine on their own, but what they meant was Mycroft would be watching. It was better with Ruth, who genuinely seemed to enjoy helping to make Sherlock feel included.

With Eurus gone and Victor dead, the ten year old only had his brother and their neighbor. He also had the same distance Mycroft remembered so well, the sea between himself and everyone else because their minds simply worked differently. People could be so boring, especially if they were unwilling to deal with the Holmes’ peculiarities. Everyone was so delicate, still learning who they were and building self esteem, that Sherlock and Mycroft with intelligence to rival the teachers and eccentricities abound didn’t know how to interact, especially given how long their mother had kept them home schooled. Victor had always understood his brother, and now he was gone. Ruth was the first close friend Mycroft had found, the only one where he didn’t have to calculate what his next move should be.

“Mycroft,” Sherlock asked, pulling on his brother’s sleeve. He was still all dark curls and blue eyes. It was still admiration on his face instead of the annoyance that would take its place ten years later. “Do we have any of the big wooden dowels left? Ruth says we could use them to make a handle!”

“We do,” he said softly, straightening the boy’s collar. “You’re quite lucky she’s always so willing to assist in your restorations. Her father does restorations for museums. I’ll fetch the dowels. You help Ruth set up your work station.”

I’ve been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why I think you should come live with me And we can be pirates, then you won't have to cry

“Why are you hiding?”

Mycroft looked up from his book, back against the wall of the attic. It was the first Christmas since he’d left for Oxford, and he was pleased to learn both families would spend it as they did their summers. If anything had been confirmed for him, it was that he was irrevocably in love with her. He’d now kissed and slept with a couple of people and each time he wondered how it would be if it were Ruth.

Rudy had made it apparent that until he was needed at a job once he graduated, his summers were his, and he was pleased to know he had three summers with her before Eurus was his responsibility. Sherlock had been acting out since he left, and he had a feeling soon enough the boy would be his responsibility from afar.

“I’m not hiding,” he argued as she settled beside him. “What, no hello?”

“Hello, Mycroft. I missed you terribly.”

“I missed you too, Ruth.”

“You never call me. We don’t get to run into each other when you’re at school. So we’ve got to put in effort.”

“I’ve nothing terribly interesting to say.”

“Call and bore me then, okay?”

“You require quite a lot of attention.” His tone was as playful as she’d ever heard, though to anyone else she was certain it sounded monotone. But, the corners of his mouth weren’t turned down, even if he did seem more exhausted than she’d ever seen him.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, Mycroft.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I could hear your dad.” Mycroft sighed, placing his bookmark and setting the novel aside. His hands came to rest on his lap, fingers laced, and he just couldn’t quite bring himself to look at her. “Was it about Sherlock?”

“He’s been acting out with regularity. Mummy and father think I should come back more. That he misses me. I do not know when they expect that I will be able to, but I’m going to make an effort to.”

“Mycroft, he’ll find something else to act out over. He’s only turning eleven. It’s a change he’ll have to get used to because one day, you’ll be prime minister or something and never have time for any of us.”

“Don’t wish that upon me.”

“Sometimes, I think something bad happened here. And that the energy gets to your dad. He isn’t like this in the city from what you tell me.”

“Are you implying ghosts make my father angry, Ruth?”

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “You should come stay with me. I’ll sneak you in through the window.”

“Your father would have me killed. He’d assume I had nefarious intent.”

“He left,” she muttered, picking at the loose thread of the rug.

“Ruth-”

“I’m fine. He still visits me, and I visit him. It’s just so strange being here for Christmas without him. He met a woman at work…”

“How’s Catherine?”

“She’s taken it well. She stays out a lot. But she’s been home for the holiday since we came out here.”

“I am always here if you need to talk about it. You could have called me.”

“I know,” she said, squeezing his fingers. “Are you ready to run away from responsibility yet? I still think we could have a lovely roadside stand somewhere. A cottage.”

“You could always come to Oxford.”

“Maybe I will.”

“I’ll always have a place for you.”

“I’m just pleased I get to see you. It’s been too long. You’re my favorite person, you know?”

“And you’re mine.”

“No, Sherlock is,” she teased, nudging his side. “But that’s fair.”

“I love you.” The words tumbled out before he could stop them. He’d said it dozens of times, but always in response to her. There was something else behind it now as they hid away from their families. It felt comfortable. He felt at home now that she was here. Wasn’t that a sign? That he still felt unstable when surrounded by his parents and Sherlock, but a peace washed over him when Ruth’s head poked out from behind the attic door.

“Mycroft-”

“It’s perfectly alright if you don’t.”

“I do.”

“What?”

“I said I do. I love you too, Mycroft Holmes.”

He didn’t know what to do now. Oxford was the first place someone had kissed him, a brunette boy at a party his roommate had held. There was also a woman, one much older than him, who he met at the library. Those had been simple enough because the weight of his feelings wasn’t attached. He’d worked so hard with Rudy to control them, to remember caring isn’t an advantage. It was acceptable to love his little brother; Rudy reminded him that would make everything easier. But loving Ruth? He’d always made their friendship an exception, but as he realized he had the opportunity to kiss her he took it.

Long fingers cupped her jaw, and his heart soared as he realized she was looking to his lips. She leaned in before he could, hands going to his sides as she kissed him sweetly. Each kiss he’d had before had a purpose. It was hard and wanting and found the inexperienced Mycroft in a bed somewhere. Now, he could just hold his lips to hers like this forever, never progressing, and be happy. When they did separate, she buried her face into the crook of his neck, and his arms circled her waist as he savored the closeness. He could feel her heart pounding as his was.

“I love you, Mycroft.”

“And I love you, Ruth.”

“Promise?”

“To the moon and to Saturn.”

#Mycroft Holmes #mycroft holmes x oc #mycroft holmes x original character #mycroft holmes fanfiction #sherlock #bbc sherlock

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

Kisses // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

This is a request for both @boiled-onionrings and @aberrant-annie ! I ADORED writing this!!!

Summary - Reader is an artist with serious art block. So she decides to kiss her best friend all over and turn it into art.

Word Count - 2.2k

This is based off of THIS gif from @nationgubler

I loved being an artist, but with any career in the arts, there is a time where you have some kind of block.

And I was having artist block, right now.

I sat in my studio, my back laying against the floor of the cold tile. As if the ceiling was going to spark some kind of Vincent Van Gogh idea in my head. I lightly brought my hand to my face, slapping my forehead.

"Come on y/n! There's something in there, anything, anything!" My head lolled to the side in frustration, eyes closed. I let out a loud groan of frustration, very grateful in this moment for choosing the most soundproof room of my apartment to do art. This was out of courtesy of my very kind neighbors. I opened my eyes slowly, hoping that something would come soon so I wasn't so damn angry. That's when I saw it.

The book Matthew had gotten me for my birthday a few months ago, sitting right next to my painting of lips, one of my best selling prints.

"Hmmm." I sat up slowly, contemplating if I should even ask this favor of him, but Matthew really cared about my career. Maybe I was in luck, so I dialed his phone number. He answered within 2 rings.

"Hey y/n, what's up?" He sounded out of breath, making his voice slightly raspy. This caused my heart to beat a bit faster.

"Uh, I have a favor to ask you, are you okay? You sound out of breath." I could hear him huff another deep breath.

"Yeah! I'm on a run in the park right now."

"Oh! Well don't worry about it then, I can save this-"

"No no! What do you need, I'm on my way home." This was honestly the most nerve-wracking thing ever, asking my best friend And someone I'm slowly falling for to do a kind of scandalous pose for a painting for me.

"It's kind of, weird. It involves art. I can't come up with any ideas and this one came into my head, you can totally say no, I won't-"

"Honey, good lord, I'm not gonna judge you, just tell me." He laughed in the end, easing my stress only slightly at the sound of it.

"Alright, it would be a portrait of you from waist up, but, also, I would, ugh. I feel weird about it!" I paused momentarily, sighing into the phone and making a pouty face that he *thankfully* couldn't see. "Then I would put kisses all over you, to like, I don't know."

"Spice it up?"

"Yes."

"I'll be over soon, I'm gonna take a shower. See you soon sunshine!" And that was it. Nearly no hesitation and he agreed to it.

*Why did I worry so much?*

Probably because you like him so much, *dumbass*.

I tidied up my studio as a distraction, waiting for a knock at my door. My wooden easel clicked on the floor as I set it near the big window in the room. I set a stool in front of it for Matthew, facing him towards it for good natural lighting. I plopped a 24x16 canvas onto the easel. My heart nearly jumped from my chest as I heard the knock at my door. I almost slipped running to it.

I opened the door to see a smiling Matthew. He was leaning against my door frame dressed in a white button-down and some regular jeans.

"I don't see you wearing any lipstick, how are you gonna manage putting kisses all over me without it?" He teased with a smirk.

This man really knew how to make my heart stop, it was almost insane how much of an effect he had on me. But I was surprisingly good at hiding it.

"I haven't put it on yet you nerd." I hit his chest lightly, moving out of the doorway so he could come in. "You can still back out if you feel weird about this. And also, this is gonna take a while." I looked up at him nervously. He grabbed my shoulders, looking right into my eyes.

"I love helping you with art, stop thinking you're such a burden." He shook me a little, bringing another smile to my face.

"Fine, go sit on the stool back there and unbutton your shirt a few buttons," I ordered him as if I had any confidence when it came to him. I walked to the bathroom adjacent to my studio, grabbing my red lipstick and applying it in the mirror.

"I love the color!" Matthew shouted from the doorway of the bathroom, almost causing me to drag the makeup across my face. I pulled it away from my lips slowly, looking over at the idiot who was constantly scaring me. I gave him the death stare. He quickly brought his hands into a surrender position and backed from the room and into the studio. But not without giving me a wicked smile. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

"Sit!" I shooed him onto the stool I set up for him.

"Yes ma'am!" He saluted, sitting gracefully onto the wobbly seat.

"You promise this won't be too weird?" I asked a final time, a very *very* small part of me hoping that he would think it was too weird so I didn't have to torture myself even more with this horrible crush of mine. He just stared at me with one eyebrow raised, as to silently say.

*Do I really have to assure you again that I don't care?*

"Alright! Let go then." Another wave of anxiety shot through me as I leaned down to his level. My hands parted his hair to where I wanted it. I then kissed my thumb to make sure the lipstick was still wet enough to transfer, and sure enough, the red pigment was smudged onto the finger. Here we go.

I grabbed his face with both hands and brought my lips to his left cheek, leaving a kiss slightly above his cheekbone. I then left another kiss lower on the same cheek. On his right cheek, I put one right in the middle and one more near his chin.

I backed away from his face, pulling the lipstick from my pocket to reapply it. I watched his eyes as I put it on, seeing something I'd never seen in his eyes before.

"You okay Gubler?" I giggled a little, recapping the tube, I smacked my lips, ensuring that I got it everywhere. He blinked several times before shaking his head a little bit.

"Yeah! Uh, yes. Just zoned out." He nodded curtly, now venturing his eyes out the window.

"Okay weirdo." I chuckled. "I'm gonna kiss your chest now." I chuckled again, much more nervous than the previous one. He simply nodded and looked down at me with a small grin.

I got on my knees and opened his shirt a bit. Hopefully, he couldn't feel how much my hands were shaking, because let me tell you, I was *trembling*. I placed my hands on his shoulders and placed a kiss on the side of his neck first. I watched as Matthew sucked his lips into his mouth slowly tilting his head back. His hand was brought to his face and he left it there for a moment. I raised an eyebrow at him but quickly shrugged it off, I wasn't going to let this lipstick dry again.

I leaned down further, kissing his collar bone and then a final one near the center of his chest. At this point, Matthew was looking down at me again. He let off a loud breath and ran his tongue over his lips.

I stood up dusting my legs off, Matthew's eyes following me.

"Are you seriously okay? You're acting kind of funny." I came close to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. He looked like a puppy dog looking up at me from the stool.

"I've got a small headache I think." It was a quick answer that seemed like a lie.

"We can stop-"

"No!" I jumped back from him, startled. "No, it's seriously fine. I'm just gonna get ibuprofen from your cabinets." He stood so quickly and turned toward the door.

"I can get that for you!"

"No it's fine I got it." His voice was farther now, almost completely in the bathroom. Even from this far his voice sounded strangled.

*Was this weirding him out? It really seems like it was.*

I gathered my colors from my oil paint box and brought them to the small table next to my easel.

Just a few minutes later Matthew emerged from the bathroom, looking like he felt better.

"Looks like the ibuprofen is working fast." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He snickered, sitting on his stool with a suspiciously large smile. I just shook my head a walked up to pose him. I turned his shoulders slightly toward the window, opening the shirt to see the kisses. I frazzled his hair a little to give it a bedhead look and once I was happy with everything, I went back to my seat.

"Just look wherever is comfortable. I'm giving you free will on that." Of course, he chooses to look directly at me.

"You sure you wanna look at me during this whole process?" I joked, starting with some skin-colored paint on the canvas.

"Well yeah, you're the most interesting thing in the room." I could feel the tips of my ears burn at the comment, not bothering to hide the smile that formed on the face.

"Well, thank you." I kept my eyes on the canvas, partly because I was painting, and partly because I thought that if I looked in his eyes I might melt into a puddle.

I was finally done with the base of everything. I pretty much had an outline with the correct colors.

"Okay, I'm taking a break. Do you want to snack with me?" I stretched my legs as I stood from my chair, my arms flailing high in the air.

"Yeah, what are you getting?" His hands rubbed together like a mischievous fly.

"I made chocolate chip cookies last night. I'm gonna heat them up so they are melty." I excitedly padded my bare feet to the kitchen. I slipped 3 cookies onto a plate and placed them in the microwave for 20 seconds. My back leaned on the counter as Matthew peered over me at my cookies.

"Someones excited about cookies." I laughed, grabbing them for the microwave and setting them on the counter, eating half of it in one bite.

"And you say *I'm* excited." He replied with a mouthful, clearly poking at the way I ate the cookie.

"You just ate yours in one bite!" I shot back.

"Whatever." He grabbed another, eating that one whole as well, as melted chocolate, slipped down his chin. He raised his hand to wipe it off and I was not quick enough to stop him.

"I'll just touch it up when we go back." He looked at his hand that was a mixture of brown and red and made a pouty face at me. "It's fine, here." I handed him a rag to wipe his hands and we went back into the studio.

On the walk back I was already reapplying my lipstick so I could fix the smudge on his face. I slipped into the bathroom quickly, grabbing my makeup wipes to fix the smudge as well. He sat in the stool once again.

Much less nervous this time, I grabbed his face the same way I did before and kissed over the same spot, making it darker and more defined again. As I was about to pull away from his face, Matthew's hands grabbed my wrists, stopping me from leaning away.

"What are you doing?" My heart hammered against my ribs, and at this moment I was hoping he couldn't hear it.

"Do you think there's anything else that needs to be fixed up?" His voice came out in a whisper, I could feel it against my face. "Do you think my *lips* should be red too?"

*Was he saying what I think he was saying?*

Apparently he was, because we both leaned in with closed eyes, connecting our lips. He pulled me into his lap on the stool, grabbing the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. I was sure that I was getting lipstick on much more than his lips at this point.

After quite the makeout sesh, we pulled away, both panting.

"What was that for?" My brain was in a complete haze. I realized I was still on his lap and began standing up, only to be pulled back down by his hands.

"I decided to finally make a move." He chuckled, leaning his forehead on mine.

"You mean, you like me?"

"No, I make out with everyone, all the time." He deadpanned. I giggled, running my thumb across his lips and showing his all the red that had transferred.

"Totally worth it." He smirked, kissing the tip of my nose sweetly.

*I'm not gonna get anything done with this man around.*

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #MGG #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg fic #mgg imagine #mgg gifs #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler

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mindofharry · 4 years

Text

y/n has some alone time,,,,, and harry arrives home!

smut!! i’m new to writing smut, so bare with me :) (shorter than usual)

harry woke up to the sound of the 1975 and the smell of bacon. he looked over and grabbed his phone powering it on. 6:45 am. he groaned a little at the thought of it ruining his sleep schedule, but shook off the feeling quickly, getting out of bed. y/n and harry were both early birds, but y/n was always up before harry. she usually waited until after 8, when blaring music, but she must’ve done it on purpose this morning.

harry walked into the kitchen grumpy and pouty, only wearing boxers and fluffy socks he found in the bottom of y/n’s drawer. his hair, now long, was pulled back into a messy pony tail on the top of his head.

“hi, baby” y/n smiled pausing ‘if you’re too shy (let me know)’ harry still pouty and moody from being woken up sat down on one of the seats on their island. “my poor boy still tired?” y/n teased walking over to him, resting her hand on his arm rubbing it up and down. she kisses his head before sighing “you told me to wake you up yesterday, bub” y/n said running a hand down his face. he nodded now remembering that he had a little day out planned with a friend. they were only to biking, and of course they would social distance. still tired, he pulled y/n onto his lap, placing his arms around her waist and his head snug in her neck.

y/n’s fingers played with the loose curls at the back of his head. “you’re so cute”

he whined rubbing his head into her neck like a puppy. y/n has always said to him that he is literally a puppy, anne, his mother said he was even worse as a child. y/n loves how clingy and cuddly he is. and she knows how much he enjoys being little spoon, so you could say the stereotypical roles in a relationship were reversed — which none of them minded. harry was always so used to being the ‘top dog’ in a relationship, if that makes sense. it was nice to be loved on he must admit.

harry lifted his face and kissed y/n’s cheek. “that beard is really doing things for me” y/n said lifting her head so harry could kiss down her neck. “hmmm” he moaned “knew you’d like it” he said watching her move her fingers to his face. “you look so fucking sexy” she practically moaned. harry smirked nodding “i do don’t i?”

she sighed hitting his chest before getting off his lap. “enjoy your day. i’ll be waiting here” she paused “all alone. in bed. waiting for you” she continued biting her lip. “love you” she said grabbing a piece of the bacon she cooked for him.

harry was left hot and bothered. jesus christ, if he had known she was going to be like this, he would’ve grown a beard out years ago.

while harry was out, wanting to be home snug is his wife pussy. y/n was having a little fun of her own. although she loved harry’s fingers and especially his cock, she liked to have a little fun herself. she knew this was definitely treating herself as y/n knew harry was going to destroy her when he got home, but her clit was throbbing and pornhub is free.

she lifted her fingers into her mouth sucking on them as she looked at herself in the mirror. she was currently in her favourite set, a red lacey thong and a matching bra that definitely make her itty bitty titties look a little less itty bitty. she continued sucking on her finger and she start to move her hips on the edge of the bed, feeling the friction between her clit and the covers made her moan louder than expected. she stood up from the bed and rolled her hips as she slowly took off her thong. she was dripping.

she teased her clit with her wet finger gasping at the feeling. “so wet” she murmured to herself. she rubbed her clit up and down teasing herself a bit before building up speed. now that she was home alone, she could definitely make some noise.

she layed her half naked body on her bed resting her black hair on her pillow. the bed was cold, and that made her ache for harry’s cock even more. she debated on whether to watch porn or just do it herself, but her phone was there and she was finally home alone. picking a random video she lowered the volume of it. she wanted everyone to hear her moans, and her moans only. as the guy in the video fucked the girl faster, y/n’s fingers thrusted inside of her at the same pace. y/n was sweaty and hot and most definitely on edge.

“oh fuck” she yelled bringing her leg up towards her head. she could feel the tension in her stomach building up.

“harry, daddy, please” she moaned still pumping her fingers into her dripping pussy, the video long forgotten. “oh yes. put your big cock inside of me”

“if you insist” harry spoke throwing his top and shorts off of him. y/n jumped her face immediately heating up as she tried to cover herself. “don’t get all shy on me now, princess” harry smirked walking over to her side of the be. “could hear you screaming half way down the street” he said sitting down beside her placing her cold fingers, his rings still on, on her bare hip. “you sounded heavenly, baby” he whispered bringing his hand down down to her thighs. y/n breathing hitched as she closed her eyes, biting her lip to contain the moan.

“you want my cock?” harry asked rubbing his hand up and down her pale legs. y/n almost gave herself whiplash. she nodded quickly. “words, princess” harry said sternly and y/n blushed “i want you cock, daddy, please” she muttered and harry shook his head “what do you want?” he asked once again expecting her to beg for it properly. “daddy, i want you huge cock in me. please daddy. make me so full” she moaned and harry smirked.

“all you had to do was ask”

harry began to kiss down her neck loving the way she sounded. “baby” she said getting up taking off her bra. his eyes widened “fucking hell. you’re all mine” he moaned “daddy, you said i could have your cock” y/n groaned and harry nodded “no teasing tonight then?” he asked and she shook her head “i want you inside me” she said laying back on the bed once more, now completely bare. and harry loved every single second of it.

harry flipped her over resting his hand on her stomach before whispering “gonna be so full of daddy’s cock” before ramming into her without warning.

y/n let out a gasp of surprise. her head immediately going blank, only thinking of harry and his cock.

harry was trying to go as deep as he possibly could, loving the feel of how tight she was around him. “jesus christ, you feel so good” he said thrusting into her faster.

he flipped her over once again so he could see her face as she cummed. placing on hand on her neck he slipped in again not going as deep. that was until y/n’s heals connected with harry’s back pushing him in further and making him tighten his grip around her neck. “oh fuck you’re so good for daddy” he groaned moving his hands to her thighs, his hips rutting a bit.

“oh my god”

“i know you can take it — come on baby” he moaned thrusting harder and harder with each word. he could feel her tightening around him “we’re gonna come together baby. don’t you dare come without me you, slut” he growled his forehead dropping into her neck as he continued to pound into her.

the only things could hear was the wetness and the loud moans coming from the couple. the bed was knocking against the wall, y/n was sure her next door neighbors new exactly what was going on. they always had that sort of look about them when y/n or harry saw them and said hi. like they knew all your secrets.

“shit, baby, i’m gonna cum” harry said still thrusting hard into her. she squealed in response shaking underneath him as he fill her up with his cum.

“jesus, harry” y/n screamed as he continued to ride out both of their orgasms with pounding into y/n a few times, now everyone definitely knew what was happening.

harry’s hips stopped and layed down on the bed next to y/n.

“fuck”

“fuck is right” y/n responded cuddling into harry.

“god. let’s go again”

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kzuhadovey · 4 years

Text

the times you both fell in love

character: choi soobin x f!reader

type: fluffy fluff!!

warnings: death of a loved one

song recommendations: night changes - one direction

so i was just sleeping- and this just popped up in my mind?? so i decided to write it so ~enjoy~ also i did not proof read i’m sorry

It was a quiet, peaceful day for Choi Soobin. Flowers dropped from the tall trees and a slight breeze caressed Soobin’s face. Soobin hummed quietly as he glanced beside him, being met with… you. You were carrying a large backpack and a baby in your arms. “Psst. Y/N.” Soobin whispered, not wanting to wake the baby. “What?” You glanced at him quickly. “I love you.” The way your cheeks turned red and you giggled a little. He has said that to you over 500 times and yet when he said it, he felt like falling in love with you over and over again.

➵ one Y/N Y/L/N sat in the car, a barbie backpack on her back and a frown on her face. "Come on Y/N, cheer up." Her father said, poking her cheek. Y/N looked away in annoyance. "Soobin's gonna be just fine dear." He said, laughing. Y/N at the age of 6 was extremely attached to her neighbor and best friend, Choi Soobin. They always went to school together and when one-day Soobin fell ill, Y/N was in a completely sour mood. "I'm not going if Binnie's not going!" You had said all day. Eventually, your father had dragged you and your lunch to the car. You faced the window, looking for your mother when you caught sight of Soobin, head outside the window, trying to catch your attention. You rolled down the windows and waved at Soobin, a bright smile on your face. "Y/N!!!! I'M SICK SO I CAN'T COME TO SCHOOL TODAY!" Soobin screams with all his power. "I KNOWW MY MOM TOLD ME!" You shout back. "GET SOME REST OKAY MY MOM SAID IF YOU REST YOU WON'T GET SICK EASILY!" Soobin nodded. "OKAY Y/N!! HAVE FUN AT SCHOOL!!" He shouted, and you smiled. You waved goodbye, and that was the first time you fell in love.

➵ two Y/N stood in the middle of the room, leaning against a table. It was a pretty crowded party that Soobin had dragged her to, she always resisted but Soobin would always force her anyways. Soobin carried 2 drinks to Y/N, smiling widely. "Y/N! It's a fun one, isn't it?" Soobin asks, already chugging down one drink. "No, it isn't actually. But lemme take a drink." She says, taking a cup and drinking it. It was salty and burned her throat, she enjoyed it. "Hey Soobin and girlfriend of Soobin, come, we're playing games in the living room." A boy said, approaching the duo. "Yeonjun. She isn't my girlfriend." Soobin says, frowning. Soobin takes your head under his armpit and pats your head. "Bin- stop it-" You say, giggling. "This little shit is my best friend," Soobin says, nodding. You eventually pout and ignore him. "Ah, well, Best friend and Soobin, let's play games, hm?" The boy, Yeonjun, asks. Soobin glances at you, asking for your opinion. You let out a simple shrug and he nods. "She's tired. We're going home." Soobin says, taking your waist and carrying you. Soobin knew you too well, he knew your mannerisms and everything else. "CHOI SOOBIN- LET ME DOWN THIS INSTANT-" You shout, kicking and flailing around. Yeonjun looks at both of you in an awkward way before walking away. Soobin laughs and starts carrying you out the door, making you pout and flail around. "You're lucky I saved you there, Princess Y/N," Soobin says, putting her down. She flips her hair and laughs. "Let's go. Before your parents slander me." Soobin says, offering his hand. She accepts giddily and they both walk home together, hand in hand.

➵ three Y/N stared at the hospital bed tears running down her eyes as the hospital staff started cleaning up the bed. Y/N couldn't feel anything, her face was numb from the tears and her fingers felt as if they weren't even there. Her mother was away, not even knowing that her father had died. Y/N had no one, and Y/N hated that feeling. As more tears started spouting, Soobin's comforting hand wrapped around her shoulder. Yeah, Soobin was there. As soon as he had heard the news of Y/N's father's accident, he had rushed to Y/N's side. Her father had already treated Soobin like his very own child, so Soobin was sad aswell. Soobin had a few tears as well but seeing Y/N broken was the thing he hated the most. Y/N started crying into his chest again, and Soobin could only stroke her head, trying to soothe her. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," Soobin whispered, kissing your head as you cried. He would eventually be there for every stage of sadness Y/N had.

➵ four Soobin was nervously waiting outside of the university building, tapping his hand. Today Y/N would present her start-up business to over 500 investors in part of a start-up competition. Y/N's been preparing all month, with sleepless nights and hungry days. Soobin had been accompanying Y/N every day, helping her with food, helping her present, and most importantly, having fun. Y/N came out of the building, a laptop bag in her hand and a frown on her face. Soobin was about to cheer but then realized that she wasn't that happy. Soobin approached Y/N in a frenzy, anger on his face. "WHO WAS IT?? I'LL GO BEAT THEM UP-" Soobin shouted, ready to storm in the building. Y/N awkwardly tried to hold him back, giggling and shouting. "SOOBIN LISTEN- I GOT IN-" Y/N shouted, and Soobin paused. "You- you what?-" Soobin stuttered, looking at her, eyes panicked. "I got in. They liked my idea, Bin." Y/N said, laughing. Soobin sighed in relief, throwing his head back. "THEN WHY'D YOU COME OUT ALL TEARY-EYED DUMBASS?!" Soobin shouted, causing some people to stare. Y/N laughed, trying to shush Soobin. "I wanted to see your reaction, of course," Y/N said, giggling. "You dumb bitch!" Soobin said before wrapping you in a hug. A nice, warm hug. He pulled away before kissing you. You panicked for a second, before finally leaning into the kiss. He finally pulled away, his cheeks red. "Uhm-" He muttered before actually running away. Y/N's mouth was gaping open. "CHOI SOOBIN GET BACK HERE-" You shouted, running after him.

➵ five You woke up in Soobin's dorm room, disheveled. You were only in your underwear and bra, and it was very, very cold. "Holy fuck." You said as you covered your body. Soobin was in a band with his friends- so that was going well. You enjoyed Beomgyu was a babbler definitely so that was a minus. Other than that, it was nice resting with the boys. You just didn't expect to be waking up naked. Soobin must have taken your clothes off when you were asleep. You stood up slowly, wrapping the blanket around yourself. You definitely didn't wanna pass Taehyun, he was literally sleeping with his eyes open. You picked up a hoodie from the floor and recognized it as Soobin's. You put it on yourself quickly before heading out the door. The hoodie was extremely oversized so it reached your knees. You peek around, looking for Soobin. "Binnie!!" You shout, looking for him. Suddenly, a 'boo!' noise came from behind you. You yelp and jump, turning around. Of course it was Soobin. You rolled your eyes. "Hey, baby." Soobin said, laughing. You walk around, looking for the bathroom. "Give me my clothes then I'll head out of here. I know you have practice soon." You say, finally spotting the mirror. Soobin nods as he follows you around like a lost cat. Soobin put his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you as you begin to brush your teeth. "Look how far we've come." Soobin mutters, looking at the mirror. You giggle and you just ignore him.

➵ six You were dressed in a small and comfortable onesie, watching your favorite show. "COME ON DELILAH JUST MARRY HIM ALREADY." You shouted in frustration. "Hello dear." Soobin's light voice called out. You waved shortly at your boyfriend before focusing back on the TV. Soobin was back home from another performance and he was itching for cuddles. "What you watching baby?" Soobin asks as he kisses your cheek from behind. "Y'know what I'm watching," You said. "I have an idea, baby." Soobin randomly says as he sits next to you. "What if we get married?" Soobin whispers into your ear. It took a while for you to process this, but you paused the tv show. "Us? Married?-" Your cheeks went red. "Bin, I mean- that would be nice- but are you sure? It's permanent, you'll be stuck to me for life." You said, chuckling. Soobin chuckles and he sits on the floor on one knee. "I don't mind. Will you marry me?" Soobin asks, taking out a ring from his pocket. Your breath hitches. "Holy fuck."

➵ seven Soobin stood from across the room nervously. The other boys were staring at Soobin in awe, giggling and laughing a bit. Soon, a figure came from the other side of the room. It was her. She was in a white gown that hugged her curves perfectly, and there were a heap of flowers in her hands. Everyone stood up, and Soobin was just in awe. "You look perfect." Soobin mouths and Y/N let out a tiny snort. "Shut the fuck up Choi Soobin." She mouths back and Soobin smiles.

➵ eight Soobin smiled at the presence of his god-daughter, Emily in his office. "HEYYY ITS EMILYY!" Soobin shouts, reaching for the blonde toddler. "Ah, I'm sorry Soobin! She just went in here and ran away from me!" You said, your hair a mess and vomit all over your clothes. "Aish, how are we gonna have a baby if you can't even take care of a toddler," Soobin said, laughing. "BITCH YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MY DOG!" You said, slapping his head. "AIYA-" Soobin frowned. "Hey, look at that." Soobin noticed a picture, a small photo album on the back of the photo frame. "Hm?" You asks, busy talking to Emily. "It's a photo album we made when we got married." Soobin says, reaching for it. He opened it and his mouth dropped open. You looped her arms around Soobin's neck, also watching. "Look. Here's us when we were 6." Soobin pointed to a photo of you hugging Soobin. "Ooh, is that the party at Yeonjun's place?" You asked, pointing to one where they were drinking. "Hey, isn't that me when I finally launched my business?" You pointed to a photo of her wearing a suit. "And there's me hanging out with the boys." Y/N pointed to a photo of them at a pool. "When we got married. Ooh, and when we got Emily." You giggled. You were now enveloped in a heap of memories, and you ended up cuddling. "I love you so much. We've come so far, hm?" Soobin whispered. "I love you so much, Binnie." You replied.

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