#my neglected social media

[dangalakmayhem]

Eriks post

[spooksicl-e]

old boy but /aff

[chubbychiquita]

sorry i am constantly on here apologizing for being a mess, i need to do some major reorganizing of the way i "do business", need to reprioritize responding to people who send me money and making content that is hot and cool

!! and i am still seeing many ppl having trouble w LF payments!! there's a way to sort of get around it with a free trial and a cashapp payment but i will have to work w everyone individually

[superkitten-poison]

velvette to me is soo the girl who got bullied in middle school and never got over it and now wants to be the bully every chance she gets

[unspecifiedfigure]

anyways hey guys have this WIP

[shironezuninja]

Give me more time to find my collage making center again. My Self Loving process is very quirky, and cannot always keep its word to statements for very long.

[studentbyday]

life, unplugged

“We got stuff done when it got done. ... Whole days passed without knowing the time once. By removing time pressure things didn't just grind to a halt and tasks expand to fill the entire day, the tasks got done with greater presence. Things got done with actual care and attention and no rush. I was probably more aware and engaged and present over the past week than I have been for ten years.” —Simon Clark (“Unplugging from the internet”)

I'm tired. I wouldn't necessarily say I was *burning* out over this spring semester because it didn't feel like there was much wood left to burn. I just...need a break. Change gears. Step away from social media...again because something I've noticed over the year I've had this blog is that I've been increasingly affected by FOMO and feeling behind whenever I'm engaging in social media. Even if it seems as if I'm charting a clear path for myself when I do challenges and post semi-regularly, I feel as if my path is less clear. I only regain that clarity when I take extended time away from social media, and I would like to re-learn how to maintain that sense of clarity for longer without soon feeling the urge to either numb myself by scrolling, or put myself on display because apparently my mere existence is not enough for me to feel real in a more cemented way if that makes sense*... This isn't exactly goodbye. I'm probably gonna return to tumblr at some point because I'll miss my moots and all, but I think these extended breaks should become a more regular thing for me.

*perhaps me currently being in that "i wanna make my mark on the world" stage (which sometimes becomes the more toxic "prove my existence was worth it" stage) is bleeding into everything i do...honestly, idk how to go about it, how to deal with it, whether i should scrap it. would not be surprised if many years down the road, i realize that i've been going about this whole thing wrong... but some things we only learn through experience. 🤷🏻‍♀️

not me linking my intro post here in case i feel like resurrecting it in the future bc i hate searching through my blog tags 😭

[contedimontecristo]

I am in dire need of motivation so excuse me while I turn this account into a studyblr for the foreseeable future.

[whatsuptyler]

New PWYWY story release!

This is fully nearly a week late because I've been struggling to learn to use tumblr again but I thought I should share with you all that I released a surprise itchio short last week!!

On December 18, I released a short story called "What About the Dog?" as pay what you want in itchio! The story is a 5,000 word horror short story about the perils of pet ownership and our helplessness in the face of life and death. Sometimes, we are obliged to simply watch them happen to us. (But don't worry--the dog is okay!)

I've been holding onto this story for a long time, and decided to finally self-publish it last week after struggling to find it a home. For now it's an itchio exclusive, but that will likely change in the future.

Content warnings are on the last image, and are found on the itchio page and in the story itself, but include death (child and animal, but not the titular dog, both off-page) and illness.

Link is above, and on my author site, but you can find it:

On itchio, with a minimum payment of $0 (so it's free, if you want!)

On Goodreads, should you wish to rate/review it.

If you read, I hope you enjoy! This one has been a long time coming. Maybe I'll drop some tumblr-exclusive lore later to make up for not posting here sooner, but I am trying to be more active on tumbr.

[wereh0gz]

I slept on it. Still not feeling great. Think I'm gonna log off for a while

[always-a-joyful-note]

As I have somehow become entangled in the Ensemble Stars fandom (I hate it here. Don't follow me to these waters, you guys) and am slowly reading the stories after the main one of music (and after watching the anime), I have come to the conclusion that Nito Nazuna is (probably unintentionally) Velveteen Rabbit coded.

If you don't know the story (spoilers for it ahead, you can read the short story here), it's basically about how a stuffed rabbit given to a boy as a Christmas present gets neglected in favour of newer mechanical toys. During his neglect, an older toy tells him a story about how the love of children to their toys can make them real, which the rabbit desperately wants but has little hope for. But by chance, a nanny gives the boy the rabbit to sleep with, cementing it as the boy's favourite toy. Sure, it gets more worn and other rabbits point out how it can't hop, but at least its loved...until the boy contracts scarlet fever and, for disinfecting reasons, the rabbit has to be taken out to be burned. Yeah, messed up...but as it waits for its fate, the stuffed rabbit sheds a tear where a flower with a fairy grows. The fairy proceeds to tell him that the boy's love made him real and takes him to the forest where he's able to finally hop away with the other rabbits.

I know it's a stretch. But a former toy/doll, incredibly loved but not really seen as real and that destroying him even if he's fine with it...then neglected when his "owner" contracts a sickness...then finding a spark of life that frees him from his inability to move...a transformation from loved doll to a real something that learns to love himself. Tell me that isn't Nazuna, and the rabbit imagery even fits. He breaks free from his constraints not to be alone but to be with others of his kind, to move of his own will with others! It's just so...we are all human and our relationships are so complex and someone else's tragedy that also makes you hurt for them can also be the reason you find your own self -

Honestly, I'm not sure if this is actually Velveteen Rabbit coded since I've only seen that story in the anime, but like...if you squint, it fits?

[hexastitchimera]

I think I understand now why I'm honest to Stars nervous every time I interact with online communities like the animation meme one, the furry one, etc.

It's for the exact reason why I'm terrified of talking to former classmates who entered nursing school.

A huge majority of the vocal minority never left behind their grade school bully mentality. I'm not kidding, throwing insults, or even calling anyone childish. This is as big of a problem as it is in nursing, and it takes lives in the exact same way. I'll explain.

Having had family who were in the medical field, I have heard utter horror stories about one side of nursing. Not even in a medical malpractice sense. But how some of them can have the sweetest, "empath" mask on when they are around you, but will smear your name behind your back at the very least, try to get you disciplined/fired (especially if you're a "rival" nurse/student) at unfortunately common worst.

Now, because I am a firm believer in nuance, I have to state that for as many malpracticing nurses there are, there are just as many nurses who put their patients before their ego always. I myself have had several nurse family members who didn't have even the slightest infraction to their records, and retired late despite how their patients AND fellow MPs yearned for them to stay.

But, it has to be said: It only takes one to kill. One word, one intentional slip-up, one accidental pill too many. The side of the accuser only need speak, while the side of the victim has to frantically fight for their right to the role- to the life- they worked so hard for.

Why? Well, because it's easier to destroy the perceived enemy than it is to build your own self up. Destroying the competition has been a tale as old as time, and it can ALWAYS be for the pettiest of reasons.

If you want more of your supervisor's attention for better odds at better pay, intimidate and belittle nurses of your standing or lower so they're demotivated, demoralized, and struggling in comparison.

Hell, if you just don't like another nurse, watch their every move, and rat on the few, harmless, honest mistakes they made!

Who cares how many patients die, either because of a growing lack of nurses, or because of straight up nurse-on-nurse sabotage!

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Do you see how people can put the grandstanding of their own ego above entire LIVES?

The near-homeless artist whose callout you are mindlessly reblogging, what of their life?

The kinky trans woman?

The genderqueer person with neopronouns and "conflicting" labels?

The literal teenager who doesn't- and CANNOT- know better because of their horrifically bigoted family? Not without external guidance, of which they can only have through the online, and are immediately shunned from?

You all want an easy answer.

There are none here.

There never will be.

The only answer is to practice media literacy, to wait until both sides have come out with their sides of the story, and to understand a very rarely spoken of Golden Rule:

If it isn't hurting anyone nor contributing to harm period, mind your own business.

Otherwise, if still hard pressed:

What do YOU get out of ending the life of someone as they know it?

If it's the same sense of satisfaction a cop would get, I don't know what to tell you.

All I know is that you cannot, AND SHOULD NOT, be doing their "job" for them.

And if you do, wipe that ACAB off of your bio.

We do not use the weapons of the oppressor on our own. ESPECIALLY on our youth.

[soggypotatoes]

ohhh it's one of those nights where my love for the world is painful to bear.. it's a strange way to feel when everywhere I look there is concentrated pain, the state of the world, all over the world.. but my dog is so beautiful and the books I'm reading so full of time and attention, and the act of writing anything at all, of language, so intricate and woven with love.. I'm having a moment here 😅

[eldritchfae]

been working on a build save to practice, decided fuck it and bulldozed the goth's ugly fuckin house and remake it from memory with the intention to improve it. i like the floor plan of it a lot so far but im really bad with window placement and matching, so ive relied on adding ivy to help me hide it

[luneyverse]

the death of art the death of education the death of childhood the death of narrative the birth of christ as we believed he was a zombie and our father

[classicintp]

Can't stand it when professionals have objectively bad takes but they're legitmately professionals and you're just some guy. You recognize this, you acknowledge it, you even appreciate it in the appropriate context, but it's so fucking infuriating. Even if the professional is humble and concedes to your point, which is usually not going to happen to even the humble in general unless it's a correction directly being witnessed, you still have their diehard fans demonizing you because you proved their idol wrong (even if you weren't pompous or obnoxious about it, just the idea that their beloved expert was human and made an error drives them mad). So I white-knuckle it and say nothing and then log into Tumblr and blurt it out in the tags.