#my most controversial LN take

[randybutternubber]

I think it’s hilarious that if LN fans aren’t naming characters based off of a number, they’re named based off of their most prominent trait. It’s like warrior cats up in here. Nosebleed, tall child, strong child, forked child, Wissouri, ect

EDIT: I FORGOR ABOUT RAINCOAT GIRL

HELL I ALSO FOGOR ABOUT SCARF KID 😭😭

Also forgot that some people call nosebleed pigtails, crutches (💀), braids, and spoon girl.

[swordfright]

https://www.tumblr.com/swordfright/756502816281018368/what-do-you-think-is-your-most-controversial-dsmp?source=share

I remember sending this to a bunch of dsmp blogs (starting with elmhat I think ?) bc I like when people share ideas/opinions who diverge from the main consensus because I find it the most efficient way for people to stick to canon and not fanon since people can have different interpretations of event

And it was super interesting to see the one about the experimentation being after prison rather than before (loved the two LN and Q ones too but as you said they were a bit more common. Would love to see your take on c!slime though now)

(And I wouldn't have a problem with you giving unpopular opinion about the fandom either but to be clear I was not trying to start anything with my first question, I just like seeing uncommon takes)

Don't worry lol I didn't assume you were trying to start shit. Ok, so c!Slime is pretty interesting in that he's the closest thing we have to an NPC in what is otherwise a roleplay, which implies certain things about how he can be used in the narrative.

A little bit of quick background: I spent a LOT of time as a kid doing RP online (it was an original story set in the Death Note universe and it happened on a website that went bankrupt in like 2017 and no longer exists lmfao don't worry about it) and idk what RP etiquette is like in other communities, but in the community I was a part of, it was sort of frowned upon for players to outsource heavy plot/character development material to NPCs. It was allowed and people did it, but it was seen as sort of a cop-out. The underlying idea being that if you're gonna bother to do RP, your character's most important interactions should be with other PCs, in part because it helps build/strengthen the RP community and in part because it better entrenches your character's storyline in the storylines of other PCs, which in turn encourages other players to keep RPing and keeps the story going. Again, creating NPCs was very common, but players were discouraged from having entire arcs or character trajectories be highly dependent on NPCs. It was seen as sort of a cheap, low-effort way of progressing your character's development without having to coordinate plot beats with other players, and doing it too often was seen as sort of antithetical to what RP is trying to achieve as a form of gaming-storytelling. To me, c!Slime is a classic example of when an RPer outsources a little too much narrative weight onto an NPC.

First of all, I wanna clarify that it's kinda difficult to define what an NPC is or isn't on this server, but I'd say c!Slime is more of an NPC because even though he's played by a CC with some degree of improv, we know that cc!Quackity specifically wrote c!Slime's character to fulfill a narrative role and asked cc!Slime to play that character - as opposed to alternate characters played by CCs of their own accord (Sam Nook, Dream XD, Sam Bucket, Mexican Dream, etc.) So, for example, I don't see Sam Bucket as an NPC but I do see c!Slime as an NPC. c!Slime wasn't an original creation on the part of the player, he's a narrative tool (which is fine, but it does mean that what he can and can't do in the story is limited to what cc!Q needed him to do.)

There are some things I think the addition of c!Slime did accomplish. For one, Q's interactions with him provide a platform for more introspective character work on Q's part. And while I that character work could've been done by having Q interact with a PC instead, I do think Slime is better positioned to act as an apprentice figure because he had almost no lore prior to Las Nevadas and didn't enter the story with baggage or ties to any other major characters. He's a blank slate, which makes him really easy to use as a narrative device. Q voices thoughts and ideas to Slime that he can't voice to other characters (usually because it would be OOC for him to do so, or wouldn't make sense in context), which means that Slime is sort of a vehicle for delivering Q characterization to the audience.

This is all fine and I think a lot of it was done fairly well. I like cc!Slime's acting and I think the character is a fun addition to the LN crew. That said, I don't think the payoff was great. Slime being an NPC really undermined what I assume cc!Q was going for with End of Las Nevadas, in large part because he doesn't have well-established relationships with other characters. Aside from Q, Slime basically only ever interacts with Tommy, Foolish and Ranboo, and even those interactions are limited to a really tiny handful of streams. Punz capturing and manipulating him, Slime helping c!Dream confront Quackity...all that stuff could have been a lot more interesting if it had more time to marinate. Like, I love the IDEA of Slime and c!Dream interacting, but we don't really get any meaningful interactions between them outside of Slime's function as a storytelling tool. He's there when he needs to be, and only ever when he needs to be.

For instance, I would've loved to see what Slime thinks about Q's slime army. It's really weird to model your mindlessly obedient slave army after your friend. That was a weird ass thing for Q to do, and it would've been cool to see Slime react to that. But because he's more NPC than PC, and because highly scripted lore like the LN series doesn't really encourage deviation, we never get to find that out. Slime doesn't ever really get to be his own character, which in the end kinda undermines a lot of the character development he triggers for c!Quackity because at the end of the day, it's really transparent that Slime only exists to be a prop. It's a kind of one-sided relationship that's unique to RP.

I think End of Las Nevadas was weak for other reasons too, but uhhhh yeah the Slime stuff bothered me a bit. Would've liked to see him do more. And he disappears after pushing Q off the ledge and, to my knowledge, we never see him again! If he had been more PC and less storytelling tool, presumably other characters would've had opportunities to react to Slime's role in the events of that stream, or notice that he's missing/back again/missing. But instead, he's able to just vanish from the story after he's fulfilled his role because that's all he was ever supposed to do.

[daz4i]

wait okay. instead of going to sleep like a normal person. here's how I'd change the ages in bsd (for those that have a canon age), bc no one looks their age/it makes the timeline feel weird, i wanna let at least some major past events breathe a little between one another. possibly controversial takes ahead:

atsushi: i like that he's 18 actually. he looks and feels 16 but no yeah 18 works better. I'd say 20-21 would be nice but that'd reallyyyy throw his backstory's timing off unfortunately

dazai: 25

kunikida: around 27-28

ranpo: 28 also, maybe even 29 (his whole thing is that he looks young for his age anyway)

yosano: 28 as well

tanizaki: like. he does look 18. but also 16 and 21 at the same time. i like him as a bit older than atsushi so let's say 19-20, and naomi as well while we're at it

kenji: why is he 14. it's not that he doesn't look 14 it's that i simply did not expect a child to be the muscle in a detective agency. so please make him like at least 16 which is only just slightly better tbh

kyouka: yeah 14 is chill in her case imo. makes her more tragic 👍

katai: 27-29ish as well

fukuzawa: at least in his 50s. maybe 55ish, or even more. he def looks like it and it fits more with having a son in his 20s

akutagawa: i do want him to be older. but making his age gap with atsushi bigger is weird. so keeping him as a 20 y/o it is, maybe 21 at most

chuuya: 25

kouyou: 30s. early 40s even. she is already so milf coded. finding out she's 26 in canon was straight up offensive i swear. come on.

higuchi: 21

tachihara: 22 or 23 maybe? (the hunting dogs don't have canon ages but i like jouno and tecchou as 26ish so that way he's still like the baby of the group)

hirotsu: how is that man 50. make him 65 at least. jfc. the whole point is he's been with the mafia a long time. ik they keep recruiting teenagers for some reason but give me a break. my dad is pushing 70 and looks younger than him

q: actually my issue with them isn't that they don't look their age (tho they do look a bit younger ig) but that timeline wise?? they're so weird?? why did the mafia have a 6 y/o on deck that's just inconvenient for all parties involved. like i can excuse kyouka at 11ish but come ON. at least make them 10 in fifteen. or just bring them in later bc i just realized the timeline doesn't line up with the dazai and chuuya changes otherwise. man idk

odasaku: girl that man was NOT 23 when he died he should've been like at least 27 then

mori: late 40s or early 50s. keep the few years gap from fukuzawa maybe but he should still be older

ango: 29ish in the current timeline. or even 32. idk why but that number feels right.

francis: 45 at least. how is a 32 y/o man supposed to have a daughter old enough to study abroad...

poe: 29

melville: actually he is the only one aged correctly in this entire manga. bestie 🔥🔥🔥🔥

steinbeck: 24. maybe even older

lucy: 20-21ish. same issue as akutagawa really

louisa: 25 at least please 🙏

nathaniel: 34 maybe.

margaret: also early 30s. how the fuck is she 20. like kouyou this is straight up insulting 😭

mark: ageless for he is the spirit of youth and joy (yeah 22 is chill for him actually. he's like the taylor swift song. he'd love that)

mushitaro: tbh I'd make him more around 29 or even older than 30. like he would be a believable 35 y/o to me if needed.

nikolai: actually him being 26 is chill too. tho i wouldn't mind making him around 28-29ish too since i already aged up most 26 y/os so may as well go all the way.

shibusawa: yeah he can stay 29 too idm. i actually didn't know he had a canon age until now. cool!

i think that's everyone who has a canon age (excluding lns bc i haven't gotten to them yet)? aside from sigma maybe but his age is more of a plot device than a fun fact. and fukuchi is implied to be the same age as fukuzawa so, yeah just make them the same in this case too.

i did mess up the timeline myself with this. so lemme clear it up:

The War and the whole thing with mori and yosano still happened when she was 11, so 17 years before canon. that means mori was still in his 20s back then, no big change

untold origins still happened when ranpo was in his teens, honestly we can keep it 14, so 14 years ago, meaning fukuzawa was in his late 30 or early 40s. again not too big of a change I'd say

fifteen happens when. well. dazai and chuuya are 15. ten years ago. i don't want q there get them out of my sight (for now) let them be a kid for a bit!!!!! but yeah like in canon that means the previous boss's murder was a year before, 11 years ago. also while we're at it, stormbringer is also the same aka a year after 15

now this is where we shake things up just a bit. rather than occuring when dazai is 18, i think we can push the dark era to when he's 20 and still maintain the whole childlike thing he has going on there, it's not that big of a difference imo.

that means, 5 years before canon instead of 4, making akutagawa 15 back then, and ango 27 like odasaku.

also yeah q comes in at some point in the middle between those^ I'd say close to dark era than fifteen.

originally i wanted to make skk 26 but this started stretching things even more. bc now we gotta figure out how long dazai spent in hiding. and ig we can keep it 2 years and just make it so his entrance exam was 3 years before canon. again imo not that big of a stretch 🤔

idk why i said this changes the timeline a lot i think this is p simple. also lets ppl stew in their situation for just a bit longer which i like more.

thank you for reading. you are very brave and strong for pulling through. feel free to disagree with my takes but just be nice about it please. I'm also open to hearing other takes if you have any that i didn't consider 🫡 but again just be nice okay?? 🥹

[note-boom]

One of the things that confuses me most about bsd fanfics is when they place Kouyou as an overseer of the PM's courtesans.

Am I missing some information from the LNs or manga? Because if not...that kind of feels slightly sexist/misogynistic (and wikia says Kouyou’s part of the torturing and interrogation squad). And as far as I know, we haven't seen the PM deal with human trafficking, anyway. At least not those that deal with sex rings. Trading criminals, stealing powerful kids, hunting down wanted people as bounties, organ thieves....but sex (and drugs, which is confirmed) is the only crime we HAVEN’T seen them commit.

Anyway, this has been my controversial (?) take against somewhat common bsd fanfic stuff.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 2

Summary: What was lost can be found. 

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence. This chapter gets a little science nerdy!

Ch. 1

* * * * * *

“How did you do it?” 

Looking up from the red glowing gun, your eyebrows pinch together as you look at the man stepping into your lab. His eyes, like always, flick around to take in your equipment. All your weapons lining the walls. 

You lay the sword down,“ what did I do exactly?”

Tony leans on the counter across from you,“ Luthor Corp just bought six shares of Stark Industries and sent multiple emails detailing possible partnered projects.” His eyebrows rise,“ I’ve been trying to go into business with Luthor Corp for years now.” 

“Congrats?” You narrow your eyes at him,“ still not seeing where I come in at.” 

Your hands glow red as you run them along the side of the rifle, effectively removing it’s glow and energy charge. 

“Side note, if you could come do your glowy magic thing on my new reactor, that’d be great.” You save your comments on that for later.“ Anyway, Pepper told me that you made quite the impression on Miss Luthor. I have a hunch her new found interest in my company is because of you.” 

“Probably not. We never talked about Stark Industries. We talked about a lot but never the company.” 

Frowning, he tilts his head to the side,“ it was an investment dinner, the purpose was to-” he sighs,“ nevermind that. You’re going to National City tomorrow correct?”

“I really don’t want to play company rep Tony. We’re just working on a project of hers.” 

Which you found out the day after the investment dinner. 

You’d contacted Lena about going out there. She confirmed your guess that she wanted to get your take and help on the power core. For the past two days you’ve been getting a few things done, mainly stuff that needs your immediate attention, so you wouldn’t be leaving anything undone. 

After some pleading from Tony you tell him you’ll consider giving Stark Industries a little good press with Lena but you make no promises. Then finishing up your work and leaving the lab. 

Sighing, you roll your shoulders, feeling how tired you are. Doing almost a week's worth of work in two days isn’t the most healthy thing. 

“Hey, you okay?” 

E/c finds deep green and you nod,“ fine.” The smile you try to give turns out to be a grimace. 

Natasha watches you,“ you sure, you look pretty tired. I know you’ve been-”

“Romanoff, I’m fine.” 

The redhead sighs. She quickly pulls a blank expression and moves to stand directly in front of you,“ how long are you going to act like this with me?” 

“Like what?”

“Indifferent Y/n. Every time we talk you give me some off handed generic response like we haven’t known each other for nine years. Three of which we dated.” 

You narrow your eyes at her,“ all three you spent keeping secrets. And then left me for said secrets immediately after. I’m not indifferent towards you Natasha I’m fucking hurt.” You don’t mean to snap but you can’t help it. 

Since your break up Natasha has moved on and has tried to interact with you like everything was fine. Like she hadn’t broken your heart. Better yet, as if she was scared you’d hurt her. 

Getting to the end of the hallway, you turn to her,“ you know what’s funny? Had you just told me, beforehand, that there was something between you and Doctor Banner, I would’ve understood. Because the worst part was being blindsided.” 

“Y/n I’m sorry.” If you were close enough you could see the regret in her eyes, might’ve been able to hear her heartbreak. 

You nod,“ I know. You told me.”

Avoiding the ex-assassin has become a bit of an everyday thing now. So much so that you almost don’t have to put any effort into doing it before you have to leave. You spend a little time training with Sam and Bucky, walking them both through their new supercharged weapons. You coordinate with Steve on the mission you’re being assigned after you get back. 

You also take a moment to research Miss Luthor and Luthor Corp. Alongside finding the controversial opinions on the company and the woman running it. You ended up, not surprised, but impressed with her work.

And of course you spend some time with Wanda. Said woman not leaving your side at all, even as you go to bed. She occupies the empty side of your bed through the night and truthfully you’re grateful for the company. 

When you wake up, you make quick work of showering, getting dressed, and starting to pack. Wanda doesn’t move a muscle, much more content with reveling in the warmth you’d left behind, while trying to get you to not go. 

“I won’t even be gone long, back by tomorrow for sure.” You push a set of shirts in your bag. 

Wanda groans loudly and cuddles further into your fluffy blanket,“ but I just got back and you promised to take me to see Harrison.”

You chuckle lowly,“ it’s Hamilton, Wan. And I’m still gonna take you, just a little later. Think of it as an anticipation builder.”

“Don’t you think I have enough anticipation.”

Shaking your head, you zip up your overnight bag, and sit down beside the young woman,“ come on Wan, it’s not like I’m leaving you alone.” 

“Basically you are. Steve and Bucky never leave each other’s sides and Sam follows them around always, and Natasha has Bruce!” She exclaims, only to jolt up when she realizes what she’s said.“ I’m sorry.”

You do your best to laugh it off,“ it’s fine really. Natasha does have Bruce.” You quickly change the subject before that familiar ache returns,“ why don’t you take Clint up on his offer to stay with them for a while?”

Wanda looks down, playing with her fingers,“ I’m not ready to do that just yet.” Those eyes then lock with yours,“ besides I can’t leave you.”

“Hey,” you pull her into your side,“ you know I’m always here for you right?” She nods. Deciding not to leave on a somber note, you joke,“ except for tomorrow, so endure Miss Maximoff, and text me.” Standing up, you press a very chaste kiss to her forehead, and then leave out with a wink. 

“Headed out Y/Ln?” 

You nod to Steve, holding up your bag in emphasis,“ yeah, I’ll only be gone a day you know.” He nods.“ Oh and Rogers, do me a favor and keep an eye on Wanda yeah?”

While she’s doing significantly better after everything, you know she still has her moments. When they hit they hit hard and feeling/being alone doesn’t help. It’s one of the many reasons Clint invited her to go stay with his family for a while. But Wanda has reservations about that for reasons she hadn’t yet told you.

After getting Steve’s agreement to do so, you leave. 

To you, the worst part of traveling is all the little stupid stuff in between. You loved driving, hated traffic. Flying was calming and you loved looking at the clouds sail by, you hated TSA, baggage claim, and boarding. 

Luckily National City is merely five hours away and the second you land you feel the difference in NYC and NC. While both are skyscraper filled, fast paced, cities. There’s something about National City that seems freer. People are nicer, the sun shines brighter, the air smells cleaner. 

Perhaps it’s just being on the West Coast.

Being the woman she is, Lena has a car service for you, the driver waiting with your name on a white board. You confirm your identity and follow the woman out to the car. On the drive to Luthor Corp, you take in the sights of National City.

Lots of skyscrapers but still a surprising amount of greenery. Eventually you approach your destination, the tall glass building branding the large Luthor Corp logo. 

“Thank you.” You nod to the driver, slipping a tip her way, and getting out of the car. 

Stepping inside the building, your eyes take in the sunlit interior as you approach the front desk. The young receptionist asks what he can help you with and you respond that you’re here for Lena Luthor and he asks for your name. 

In the end you’re told to wait as she’s in a meeting, so you pass the time by texting Wanda, replying to the dozen texts Tony had sent. You tell him you’ll do it if he can get you decent Hamilton tickets and he agrees instantly. 

“Y/n,” her voice, while still new to your ears, is easily recognizable,“ I’m so sorry for making you wait.” 

You’re waving her off in an instant,“ it’s fine, I’m no greater than anyone else, I can wait.”

She chuckles, nodding in understanding, and silently pleased with your humility. A number of people would’ve demanded they go in immediately. 

From there she directs you toward the elevator. As you walk the people walking around look to Lena in seeming amazement. 

“It seems your employees are also fans, rightfully so.” You tease honestly. 

“They’re a part of a small group believe me. I have more opposition than you could imagine.” 

Raising an eyebrow, you shrug,“ a powerful woman is intimidating, especially one as brilliant and compassionate as you Miss Luthor.” 

A light blush fans her cheeks and her eyes watch you on the elevator,“ if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re trying to flatter me.”

“I’m being honest with you Lena, it just so happens that your truth is pleasing to hear.” The elevator dings, letting you both off to a floor of labs, some walled off by glass and others concrete. You look around, some machines and equipment familiar to you and others you don’t recognize. 

Lena guides you down the halls to a room at the very end. It’s dark inside at first and then a purple light rises. Repeatedly it shines and then dims and you walk closer in amazement. 

Octagonal, metal, plates surround the rock like material in the center, each plate connected by thick wires. The purple light emits from the rock. Lena flicks the lights on and it powers up the monitors and the core. 

Still watching in fascination, you walk around the core, remaining a few decent feet away. A very low hum sounds from it and you can practically feel the power of it. 

“Wow.” Lena smiles at your amazement.“ I imagine you had to build a stabilizer before you could move it.” You look up at her.

“I did. It was in a ship when I found it so I reutilized the ship's engine.” 

Eyes wide, you smile softly,“ instead of the engine pulling energy from the core-”

She nods,“ it pushed the energy back into it.” 

“How did you stop it from overloading?” 

“Reworked the wiring to continuously transport the energy so there was never an overwhelming amount in the core at one point in time.” 

You look back at the core, noticing that is also how she’s currently keeping it from overloading.“ Remember when I said you’re brilliant?” She nods.“ That was an understatement.”

With another laugh and a bashful blush, she brings you over to her monitoring equipment. 

The next few hours pass with the two of you working on it. Lena loved the idea of turning the one power core into multiple ones which would require harvesting pieces of it. But it’s not like they make Alien Rock saws or anything on earth. 

You’d have to invent a tool strong enough to cut through it without it disrupting or agitating the energy. 

It’s well past the late hours of the night when hunger sets in for both of you. Lena insists you join her for dinner. After locking up her office, the two of you go to a restaurant that she sings praises for. 

The maitre’d is quick to seat you both, your waiter bringing water, and asking if you’d like anything else to drink. Lena orders wine and you get an old fashioned like usual. 

“So outside of being well versed in science,” Lena starts,“ what other talents do you have?” 

“I can make a great cup of coffee.” You joke, the woman laughing.“ No um, I’m a weapons specialist. It goes hand in hand with science and my powers. Mental materialization allows me to create just about any weapon with my mind, of course it doesn’t last forever. For the most part I enhance the weapons the team already has though I’ve invented a weapon or two.”

Brown eyebrows raise,“ invented?” Intrigue enters her eyes and you’ve already become accustomed to it.

You nod,“ at the time my team and I were facing a threat we never had before. It required a special type of weapon and of course it didn’t exist.”

“Alien?”

Before you can reply, the waiter returns. They set down your drinks and take your orders, both of you smiling politely before they walk away. 

Looking back at Lena, you sip your drink, and respond,“ yes. It took a lot of trial and error, messing around with their own weapons to finally get it. I ended up using the alien technology to build the weapons.”

“And you say I’m the brilliant one.” A smirk plays at her lips over the rim of her wine glass.

It’s then that you replay your own words in your head being hit with a startling realization!

“Lena!” You exclaim. Green eyes widen slightly, eyebrows raising simultaneously.“ A laser saw. We’ve been trying to come up with a material strong enough to cut through it instead of using its own energy to do so.”

She understands quickly, a disbelieving chuckle leaves her lips,“ oh my god, you’re right. Of course we’d have to neutralize the core before cutting it. That amount of energy against itself could cause a cascade of energy failures or something much worse.”

“You figured out how to stabilize it with it’s own engine and now you’ve got me,” she smiles amusedly,“ I’m sure two scientists of our caliber could work something out.”

Lena agrees. Then insisting you two talk about anything other than the work. 

As much as she loves her work, she’s been intrigued by you since your first meeting. With this being a much more casual setting than the investment dinner and her lab, she wants to get to know you. 

She’s learned how intelligent you are, even if that’s just the tip of your iceberg, but she’s dying to know more. And she does.

Over dinner you both get to know each other better. Lena’s disdain for her last name but need to clear it is something she, almost subconsciously, divulges. You’re not exactly surprised to hear that she went to MIT, in fact you would’ve been shocked if she went anywhere else. 

While she avoids going in depth about her family, she does make mention of being close to her brother when they were younger and loving her father endlessly. Her sincere compassion is a trait she seemed to have always had despite the briefly mentioned opposition she faced over being so.  

Her taking over the company after her brother was for a number of reasons the main one being that she wanted to prove herself. Luthor doesn’t mean evil, not always anyway. You’re led to believe that while many don’t agree, there’s proof through Lena’s work that she isn’t a bad person. 

In turn you tell her about your time as an Avenger. All of it started back when your father worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. Being the dedicated man that he was, he often brought his work home, and being the daddy’s girl that you were, you lingered around and watched as he worked.

You’d picked up on a lot of things from him involving the weapons. By the time you were 16 you knew most guns inside and out from standard pistols to compact grenade launchers. 

After high school you went to Stanford and majored in Mechanical Engineering, getting the opportunity to intern at the one and only Stark industries. Upon graduation you had taken an actual job at the company. Some time later you were approached by Fury to assist Stark in building the Particle Accelerator to save himself and take down Ivan.

Tony took a liking to you during your time working together and afterwards was more than happy to work closer with you, especially since you still worked for Stark Industries. Those connections lead you to being picked up by Fury every once and a while with S.H.I.E.L.D business. Until S.H.I.E.L.D fell, your last mission with them being Sokovia.

Eventually, despite the very late hour, Lena’s phone starts to buzz almost incessantly. With a small,“ excuse me,” she picks it up, reading the messages she received. 

“Are you up to a few more drinks?” She asks with a soft smile and you find yourself unable to say no under the gaze of her green eyes. 

She settles the check, relenting and letting you leave the tip, before you’re both in her car and driving to a different location. This place is a lot less upscale than the last. Funnily enough you find it a lot more comfortable than the restaurant. 

You follow beside Lena, who approaches a table surrounded by a decent sized group of people. They all smile brightly at the CEO, a blonde hugging her excitedly. Then all eyes fall to you. Before Lena can even introduce you, a voice speaks. 

“Oooohhhh my god!” A man about your height nearly vibrates with excitement in his seat. Brown eyes widen and he bites his lip.“ You’re Artemis, the Avenger!”

It’s impossible to not chuckle at his enthusiasm.“ I am, but without the getup you can call me Y/n,” you reach a hand out to shake his.

“Y/n, yeah of course.” He shrugs with an understanding nod. 

Going around the group of people, you shake hands and learn names. After Winn, sits Kara Danvers(Lena’s best friend as she introduces), Kara’s sister Alex(definitely an agent of some sort), J’onn(also an agent), and James Olsen. 

While they all seem fairly nice, you can see Alex’s and J’onn’s studying expressions. They watch you cautiously and you don’t blame them. Winn and Kara are the more open ones, excited to meet you and engaging in a seeming nonstop conversation. And James, well you aren’t sure about him yet but he seems okay. 

Alex takes a swig from her beer, elbows leaning on the table top,“ what brings you to National City?” 

“Lena actually.” All eyes widen, eyebrows rising as well.“ In a strictly platonic and professional way.”

The CEO beside you chuckles softly, hand resting on your bicep,“ Y/n’s assisting me with a project of mine upon my request.” 

“What kind of project?” The auburn haired woman asks.

Something in her tone tells you that she’s skeptical, almost untrusting of the woman at your side. Whatever history is there is a little rocky, you can’t place why but it is. And even though you don’t know anyone here all that well, you’d hate for everyone’s seeming enjoyable night to take a sour turn.

“For now it’s merely a test for a new energy source. If it’s not clean energy or it’s unstable it won’t go further than this.” 

The woman seems satisfied with your answer, at least a little, and nods. Lena sending you a smile in thanks. 

“So, what kind of drink recommendations can a tourist like me get?” 

With your simple, easygoing question, conversations start back up. Each person gives you a drink recommendation and you take it, trying each one. Some you don’t like but most of them are great, and strong.

By the end of the night there isn’t a single person who isn’t laughing. The effects of the alcohol you’ve consumed hit you and while you aren’t wasted, it definitely makes things lighter for you. 

“Alright, I think it’s time I get this one back to her hotel so she can get home tomorrow.” Lena lightly pats your shoulder.

“Awe booo!” Kara and Winn say at the same time, the latter much more intoxicated than the former.

You pout, looking at Lena,“ don’t you want to hear about the anti-gravity gun Winn is working on?” 

“It’s handheld.” He adds in a whisper.

The brunette chuckles,“ I’m sure Winn would be more than happy to tell you about it some other time.” 

Sighing you nod,“ fine. She’s right, I have a flight later.” You rise up, the support of the table a great assistance,“ it was a great pleasure to meet all of you, had a lot of fun.” 

Kara’s big blue eyes find yours,“ you’re going to visit again right?”

“Not sure when but I will definitely be coming back.” 

With a goodbye to everyone, you and Winn slapping hands and nearly missing, and you and Kara high fiving perfectly, you leave. 

For the third time tonight you’re in Lena’s car. She leans back into her seat after telling her driver where to take you. It’s a fairly quiet ride back to the hotel, you drinking from the water Lena gets from the center console, and her occasionally looking over at you. 

She took great delight in watching you interact with her friends, especially with the amount of alcohol you’d consumed. Drunk wasn’t the proper state to describe you as but the intake definitely had you a lot more talkative and energetic than Lena has seen, though that’s only been twice. 

Telling her driver to keep the car running, she accompanies you up to your room. She’d hate if anything happened to you before a friendship could even begin. 

You swipe the card over the door sensor and push it open, turning to lean against the frame and address Lena.“ Thanks for today.”

“The whole day?” She chuckles.

“Yes ma’am. I loved every bit of it. Your friends are awesome and I’m really excited to see how the power core works out.” 

A little smile pulls at her lips,“ well I may have started this by myself but you’re definitely a part of it now. So let me know the next time you’re able to come back.”

“Really?” Your eyebrows pinch together. Compared to how much was done when you’d arrived everything you did felt like adding two measly cents. 

Honestly speaking, you’d genuinely loved every second of working on the power core with her. As much as you love saving the world as an Avenger, there was a newfound excitement and intrigue in you while you worked on this. It could save lives in a way you can’t as an Avenger. 

“Only if you want to.” The CEO says, slight hesitation hidden behind her teasing smirk. 

“I’d love to.”

* * * * * *

Taglist: @username23345 @depressed-bi-bitch @fayhar @trikruismybitch @aznblossom

[shesawriter39049]

|Breakdowns & Bugatti’s| M|

     *****  Headcanon’s for my OT7 AU*****

Genre: Rich Kid AU/ Drama/ Suspense/ Smut/ Angst

AU SUMMARY : The story of 8 heirs, who also happen to be the children of some of the most powerful, and well known political figures in The Big Apple! This is a candid look at all of the sex, lies, drama, scandals, couture and boujee affairs that are caught both on, but more importantly off camera!

OR: Gossip girl meet’s HTGAWM? Essentially if GG was on HBO, darker, and had more depth within it’s plot! Which is no shade, I love me some Gossip Girl, but realistically looking back a lot of the “Drama” wasn’t that...deep lol! But we still loved it all the same!

Note:  The first chapter is called “The Kim’s of New York” So these headcanon’s are solely the Kim boys & the OC! ALSO, I just tried to find the most discrete gif for the Y/N there is NO ethnicity for ANY of my OC’s! Also, it’s set to be a OT7 intertwined plot but the smut with the OC will prob only be 3/4 members deep!

***The sneak peek for part 1 which is Namjoon X Reader will be linked***

~~~~~~~

Name: Namjoon Kim

Age: 21 Birth place: New York, New York

Current Residence: West Village, New York/ Songpa-Gu, Seoul Korea

Profession: Heir, College student, Entrepreneur, Art lover, Smartass, Heartbreaker (Closet fuck boi) 

College: NYU (Incoming Junior)

Degree: Aiming for a Master’s in Journalism & Political communication. Endgame :Political Journalism

Preferred Degree: Opinion, Trade, or Art Journalism, or a Museum Curator   (Namjoon actually anonymously runs a pretty popular art based travel blog)Namjoon also dabbles in that Soundcloud life making beats under an undisclosed name...however that’s just a hobby....so he says...

Business Type:....Co-owner/founder of an exclusive, invite only, dating service....do with that information what you will!

(Bonus Question ) Licensed Business?: LMAO….sure

Net Worth : 10 Figures

Dating Status : Closet Fuck Boi! Wait, is that not an option? Okay fine. He’s single...ish…Kinda? Well to be fair it depends on the time of day honestly! Is it a Sunday? Are we going to Brunch at Society Café? Or, is it Friday night and he’s going to the “Press Lounge”? More importantly is it election season and and does his father need him to not look like a hoe!? This is all crucial information, I need meticulousdetails honestly! So for the time being I guess I’ll have to pass on the question!

Aesthetic : Tom Ford X Hugo Boss X Valentino X Dior X Tommy Hilfiger = Couture Business Casual! I.E Namjoon always looks like he’s going to some business meeting with Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos! Even if it’s like...noon on a Saturday and your going on a day trip to Nappa...He’s still in calfskin loafers and a disrespectfully tight button up. Namjoon’s giving like...hot college professor PornHub realness...Yup His whole “Scholar Student” Aesthetic is a whole ass kink and baby boy knows it! 

Political Tie: Father, Joshua Kim, New York Senator

Parents : Father : Joshua Kim, (New York Senator, son of Billionaire tech Tycoon Sang Woo Kim) Mother: Christine Kim : Luxury Event planner

Siblings : Only child

Political Party: Democratic

Actual Political Party: Liberal Daily : Matte Black Porsche 911/ Satin Red Ferrari 458/ Bugatti Veyron Matte red

Name: Seokjin Kim (Jin Kim)

Age: 23

Birth place: London, England

Current Residence: Upper Eastside, New York/ Chelsea London

Profession: Existing, Retired Editorial Model, Entrepreneur, Occasional influencer (When he feels like it) IE, the influencer that never really asked for the titile...he’s just rich and living his life! I mean let’s be real who isn't curious to see how the -1% lives?!

College: University of Oxford

Degree: Maybe he has a Master’s in Business...maybe he dropped out!

Preferred Degree: Culinary Arts...or honestly...just chillin...maybe eventually open his own modeling firm or something down the line!

Business Type:....Jin casually runs high stakes poker matches...and that’s all you need to know for right now….

(Bonus Question ) Licensed Business?:...Again...that’s all you need to know right now…

Net Worth : 10 Figures

Dating Status : Single, and not in the mood to entertain….unless you’ll like...walk yourself out after then maybe...Oh also it’s a requirement that you’re aware there’s more luxury brands than Gucci and Louis Vuitton. Show up in anything straight monogram and Jin’s going flaccid on command!

Aesthetic : Chanel  X  Dior X Cavalli X Dolce X Fendi  = On Duty Runway Model! It truly doesn’t matter if he’s going to brunch, the movies, or sitting front row at Galliano! Jin always looks like he should be front row at Galliano! Whilst also effortlessly looking 10x’S pretter than half of the bitches in Manhattan even on his worst day! Androgyny at its finest, well Jin and Judge Parks son are kinda tied in that department!

Political Tie: Father, David Kim, Mayor’s Chief of Staff/ “Ghost” press secretary

Parents : Father : David Kim, (Retired Corporate Attorney, son of Billionaire Oil Tycoon Hyun-Son Kim) Mother: Lisa Kim, Co- owner of Hotel Shailla, daughter of Michael Lee, Millionaire Entrepreneur )

Siblings : Taehyung Kim (20), Hae Jin Kim (29) Deceased...( Allegedly)  

Political Party: Democratic

Actual Political Party: Honestly, Jin could give less than a damn

Daily : Matte Pink Aston Martin One, White Bugatti Chiron

Name: Taehyung Kim (Tae Kim)

Age: 20

Birth place: Rome, Italy

Current Residence: Cobble Hill, New York/ Pairs, France (When he’s not in school...or just on the weekends)

Profession: College student, Painter, Podcast Host, unwarranted fashion critique/ Stylist! Tae lowkey thinks his IG feed is the reprise of “Fashion  Police” Joan Rivers bless rest her soul..she would’ve loved him!

College: Bernard (Sophomore)

Degree:  Fine Arts (Painting/ Sculpture)

Preferred Degree: Exactly...what he’s doing...he enrolled at NYU for business. Lasted all of like...5 months before he dropped out!

Business Type:....Tae run’s a very...controversial late night Podcast  appropriately titled “Tae unfiltered”! It wasn’t supposed to be a job, lord knows he doesn't need one...However due to the steady increase in his audience the youngest Kim is on track to ending up on Forbes without his inheritance.

(Bonus Question ) Licensed Business?:...Yup!

Net Worth: 10 Figures

Dating Status : Single, and more than ready to mingle, Tae essentially had the same girlfriend all throughout high school! The pair broke up maybe 7 months ago when she opted to go to college in London. So let’s just say he has a lot of making up to do and he’s very much….open to new experiences…

Aesthetic : Guicci  X  Gucci X Gucci X  Gucci X Gucci = Gucci!? Nah, actually Tae, is fond of anything that doesn't...blend in...so Moschino, GCDS, Vetements, Kenzo, Balmain= If it lowkey looks like it could've been homemade...but it cost like bare minimum 4k! Or he just highkey looks exactly like you’d expect, like a very rich, art student who loves funky. abstract, unethical, clothing! Is he going to Coachella or to the farmers market? We may never know but that’s fine! He’s also young, and well aware that he’s fine as fuck, and that’s a whole ass problem! Tae may not have a ton of experience but he’s far from shy and more than down to learn...

Political Tie: Father, David Kim, Mayor’s Chief of Staff (Ghost press secretary)

Parents : Father : David Kim, (Retired Corporate Attorney, son of Billionaire Oil Tycoon Sang Tae Won Kim) Mother: Lisa Kim, Co- owner of Hotel Shailla, daughter of Michael Lee, Millionaire, Entrepreneur )

Siblings : Seokjin Kim (23), Hae Jin Kim (29) Deceased ( Allegedly)

Political Party: Democratic

Actual Political Party: Liberal AFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Daily : Lime Green Lamborghini Huracan/ Matte Grey Ferrari F60

Name: Yn/Ln

Age: 21

Birth Place: Paris, France

Current Residence: Upper East Side, New York/ Dubai

Profession:...Taking pictures, of both herself and other people, ugh...looking attractive? Does that count? Oh being well dressed...Self taught photographer, Fashion Blogger, Creative Director,Entrepreneur...

College: N/A ...Possible freshman at NYU or Bernard or, FIT for Photography & or Fashion

Degree: N/A... IF, she went it would be for Fine Arts/ Fashion degree for Creative Direction

Preferred Degree: Honestly, none, she lives and breathes fashion and due to her lifestyle Y/n already has the type of connections that up and coming photographers would die for! BUT...said college degree would shut her father up...so it’s a possibility! However, it’s not like he considers photography or being a fashion influencer a real job anyway...sooo she mideswell just not even bother!

Business Type:....Existing? Her main job is essentially...breathing...and occasionally taking pictures of other people! Oh, and herself as well, she get’s paid to post daily content! She runs a website called “MyJobIsToBeWellDressed” Co-owner of an exclusive invite only dating service!

(Bonus Question ) Licensed Business?: Yes and...(lmao)...for the first part, where her blog and all of that is concerned, yes...she’s 1099 the full nine! The other job however...................mmm... next question?

Net Worth: 10 Figures

Dating Status :YOLO

Aesthetic : 90’s Couture meet’s “House of Yes” @ 3 AM ( Back when luxury brands weren’t afraid to have fun and be a little risque)  Chanel X Versace X Dolce X Prada X Gucci X Galliano = Well kept sugar baby??? Or every time you see her your literally like “Dude where the fuck are you even going!!??” Baby girl is always overdressed, she showed up to go on a doggy date through central park with Yoongi and Holly in 7 inch Louboutin’s sooo..we love that! Owns literally every vintage 90′s runway archive you can think of...If you’ve gagged over it on Pinterest it’s in Y/n’s closet. She’s smooth as all fuck...that’s for damn sure, radiating the perfect blend of BD and WAP energy....she’s a bad bitch and she knows it! Fuck the entire upper Eastside knows it!

Political Tie: Father, Christopher L/N, New York Senator

Parents: Father : Christopher L/N, (New York Senator, son of Billionaire Automotive Tycoon/ Real Estate Mogul Gregory L/N/ ) Mother: Ashley L/N, (luxury) Interior Designer & Daughter of Hotel Mogul Michael L/N

Siblings: Only child...maybe

Political Party: Democratic

Actual Political Party: Liberal

Daily : Matte Black Bugatti Divo / Satin Purple Lamborghini Murcielago/ Any car that any of her friends are driving because...fuck that, ridding shotty all day!

~~~~~~~~

There they are!!

The sneak peek is linked below...part 1 is Namjoon X Reader

However Jin and Tae are briefly introduced...and they will eventually have induvial chapters as well!

SNEAK PEEK

[lost-in-yujikiri]

What is your take on Kirito’s relationship with some of the male characters in Alicization/Lycoris?

Eugeo

Renly

Eldrie Woolsburg

Bercouli

I didn’t add Deusolbert since he feels more like a older brother or father figure at the very least sort of like Agil and Klein were like Kirito. Eiji and Itsuki, who albeit is a original game character, are of the only few male cast members who weren’t like this but they got shipped more with the MC in Fatal Bullet, who canonically is a male.

1) Eugeo

Sexuality headcanon: Bi

Favorite ship(s): Kirito, Tiese (mostly one-sided on Tiese' part)

Brotp: Alice, Golgorosso

Notp: Quinella

A random headcanon:

- If he wasn't a woodcutter, he'd love to be a historian or a scholar, surrounded himself with books

- Eugeo loves fairy tales, he tended to dream of being the hero to rescue the captured princess in high tower, who in turn became Alice. But given his idolization of Bercouli & when Kirito came to his rescue in Floor 100 of Central Cathedral, he realized that the one he loves in the fairy tales is never the princess but the hero (like for real Reki what did you even think about when you wrote Eugeo's feelings about Kirito in that moment "His heart swelt up with an emotion he couldn't even named"?). However by then it's too late, he couldn't change his objective anymore, so the only thing he could give to Kirito is a red rose blade embedded with his will to continue being by Kirito's side.

General opinion: 

Eugeo is the most intricately written character in the LN version that it's warranted for him be a well-beloved character among readers, and I know there is a lot of controversial opinions on whether his death is a worthwhile decision in Reki's storytelling, but given that I was raised in East Asian study where people treat death differently than how Western people often criticized as the "Bury Your Gay" trope, I find that his death brought out Kirito's most vulnerable character as well as finding strength even in the most hopeless and depressive situation. Also I find beauty in "love that transcends death and time", which is continuously proven in Unital Ring, where he never forgets the memories for his best friend or his passing.

2) Renly

Sexuality headcanon: Pan

Favorite ship(s): His dead male partner, Tiese

Brotp: Kirito

Notp: none

A random headcanon:

- Kirito often sees in Renly similarities with Eugeo and that hurts him (this is CANON in the mobile game), while Renly can't remember his dead partner clearly but he finds comfort in Kirito as well due to how similar they are. They tend to have expeditions together as Swordman Delegate and trusted Knight.

General opinion: Renly is a good side character that a lot can relate to. Also I know there are fans who share my headcanon and even ship them, but personally I don't feel right for anyone to be treated as substitute for their dead beloved so the most I can think of them is that they're good friends who help each other getting over their trauma.

3) Eldrie Woolsburg

Sexuality headcanon: Straight

Favorite ship(s): Alice

Brotp: Eydis

Notp: Kirito (sorry)

A random headcanon:

- He sees Kirito & Eydis (female Knight in ARS who's so highkey suspiciously lesbian) as love rivals for Alice, though through their foes he ends up respecting them as a person, though it's hard to say if he comes to like them 😅

General opinion: I like him and his devotion to Alice, but please chill, man. I think he should learn how to love her as herself rather thinking of her as an object to protect which she clearly doesn't need (this is clear in ARS)

4) Bercouli

Sexuality headcanon: straight (sorry I tried but I can't see him any other than this)

Favorite ship(s): Fanatio

Brotp: Quinella (more in the sense of hundred years old drinking fellows)

Notp: ...Eugeo (seriously people? 😅)

A random headcanon:

- He's only interested in woman but he's totally chill with any sexuality his subordinates are, like how he's so amused whenever he sees Eydis flexing her gayness unknowingly, and if Dakira is still alive he'd feel OK to entrust Fanatio to her

- He highly respects Eugeo for defeating him, and Kirito for his mental strength that changed Fanatio's discriminated look on her own gender and his effects on other Knights, and in a lot of dire situations he can count on the young boys (shown in Lycoris manga)

General opinion: He's a great character and his life goes full circle in canon, so honestly I don't feel like adding anything more.

[lady-griffin]

I Became Engulfed by Desire...

This was a super cute episode and absolutely hilarious. Mary and Maria were the true MVPs of the episode. I loved that these two brilliant and accomplished ladies are absolute dumbasses when it comes to one specific dumbass.

Mary is just comedic gold. She is so goddamn funny and ridiculous. I love her so much.

I’m still laughing at this. Look at this desperate dork who just wants to be with her precious Lady Katarina. 

Maria was also pretty funny, but she was really more of the straight man to Mary being amazing.

Alan was also a great delight. His and Katarina’s scenes were very sweet and endearing and just made me smile. I mean really, how could anyone not smile or have their heart warmed by those two at the end.

ALSO LOOK HOW STUNNING KATARINA WAS!!!!

This episode in general had some stunning scenes. I particularly love this one image.

Beautiful.

Overall, I enjoyed the episode.

-

It is just filler episode, so I will admit a part of me wants to gets back to the actual plot and get to certain scenes. As I am a bit worried that some of favorite scenes will not get the full-attention they deserve.

And I get a bit more concerned when I notice that there is still a sleepover and possible gardening shears extra to be explored in the anime. Based off these images.

While I absolutely love the extra Manga Ch. 17.5 (it’s an absolute delight and just so adorable), I am curious and nervous to see how they will do everything that they have to do in the remaining time they have left.

Though, perhaps the anime isn’t going to adapt the whole Ch. 17.5 plot, but take the essential core of it for a future scene. Similarly, to how the anime adapted Alan’s extra chapter in Vol. 5 (LN) to the last scene of this episode.

I have confidence in the anime, but I’m still a bit nervous.

SPOILERS BELOW

Plot Heavy Future

The anime does have a decent amount to cover in the next four episodes.

Bully Accusation Scene Maria Disappearing Katarina learning about Black Magic/Nightmare Katarina confronting Raphael Infirmary Scene – Everyone upset/why they love Katarina Katarina Revisiting her old life Raphael’s backstory Confronting Raphael Raphael and Katarina talking on her farm Graduation Party

To be fair, some of these scenes won’t take that much time and some could be excluded or combined. But still, it’s a lot.

We’ll have to see how the Gardening Shears and Sleepover Scenes happen and when. But if we only had a choice between the two, I’d picked the former. I really do love Ch. 17. 5 with all my heart and would love to see it adapted into the anime.

Angst

I do hope the next four episodes will do justice for future events. I want my angst and I want it now.

I particularly want Ch. 18 to get so much attention and love from the anime.

It’s one of my favorite chapters. 

I love how everyone is thinking about how much they love Katarina while at the same time are at the horrific realization that Katarina might die and their helpless to stop it. I want that. Give me that angst and more.

I want to suffer.

Alan and Katarina 

If you ship Alan and Katarina, then this episode was a godsend. I personally really enjoyed these two here. 

I loved how the anime  included Alan’s extra POV chapter and Manga chapter from Vol.5 (LN). in this episode. It was well done. 

Their scenes were very sweet and romantic. 

There’s something I quite like about Alan and Katarina. I think it’s because their relationship is based in a genuine friendship.

Alan is really the only one I can see who would take his shoes off and join Katarina up in a tree. So, it’s just nice seeing them interact.

Also, Alan at this point, is the most normal one. And I think to a certain extent he brings that out in Katarina…particularly in this scene. Katarina was just a lovely, normal girl. It was nice.

It was lovely. Absolutely lovely.

Despite no one thinking of him being a real threat in the race for Katarina’s heart, due to him being oblivious of his own feelings, he’s made the most headway.

Also look at him blushing.

Alan x Katarina have certainly moved up in my rankings.

The colors and scenery of the last scene were really stunning. Just gorgeous.  

Katarina’s Desire

She just wants sweets and I love that. Also, she’s like legit eating the Witch’s house from Hansel and Gretel, so that was fun.

I know it’s not that kind of episode, but I would’ve also liked to see Katarina’s deepest desire – avoiding her doomed endings.

While the other characters (and sometimes the narration) believe there is nothing more to Katarina than what’s on the surface, we know that’s not true. Or at least not 100% true.

And I may be looking into this way more deeply than I should.

But since Katarina was essential to everyone else’s desire and she was actually in the book with them, that makes me wonder if Katarina wasn’t there – would they have been satisfied with a fictional Katarina?

Or would they be like Katarina and not be satisfied with their fictional sweets?

The Harem’s Desires

This might be controversial, but I didn’t think their desires for Katarina were honestly that bad as some people have made them out to be. When I had crushes, my ideal situations and fantasies were just as ridiculous and over the top.

That being said, they could’ve definitely improved on how they showed them with one simple fix.

Have Katarina blushing and eyes sparkling, more than what they showed in the episode. That would have easily worked – Katarina is a huge fan of romance. She is so into it (which is why it’s so hilarious she’s oblivious to what’s happening in her life).

I don’t think the desires were awful or even bad, but they were somewhat off-putting for me. And I did feel like they missed the mark.  

Geordo

All I can think about is the weird Matrix moves in his fantasy…what a fucking dork.

But at the core he wants to get married to Katarina and have her all to himself without anyone interrupting them (for one night)…which yeah, I get that. Every time he’s alone with Katarina for more than 3 minutes, Keith breaks down the door.

I have mixed feelings towards Geordo saying he likes the uncomfortable face of Katarina’s. On the one hand, we’re seeing that so-called sadistic side of Geordo that we keep hearing about but never really see. 

But still…bad Geordo. Very bad. I’m rooting for you, don’t make me regret it.

For me, that statement is a darker take on what Geordo’s desire are stated to be in The Light Novels.

There’s a difference between this –

And this- 

It’s the difference between a cabin in the woods vs. a cottage in the forest. Essentially the same concept, but the words make all the difference.

Changing that line from uncomfortable to embarrassed or flustered would’ve been a huge improvement. But there’s nothing we can do about that now and in the end, I did find the overall scene funny.

Though I feel like the anime is a bit of a let down when it comes to Geordo, so there is that. 

Keith

I liked Keith’s desire the least. Surprisingly enough, it really had nothing to do with the pseudo-incest.

It was just the most off-putting for me. I did not like the weird lip-licking thing he did… I wasn’t a fan at all.

Sophia

She’s very bold; I’ll give her that.

But also, poor Sophia. Katarina has no idea that Sophia (or the other gals) has any romantic intention towards her and just thinks it’s fully platonic

…because slamming your friend against a wall is super platonic Katarina…

Nicol

This one was probably the funniest fantasy to me. The sounds Nicol made when he was jumping around the city were so funny to me. It was like they were out of a video game.

Also, Nicol’s desire to be The Devilish Count means that either Katarina or Sophia (definitely Sophia) told him that Katarina sees him being similar to the Count. And I guess after he learned that, Nicol read the entire book series and wants to be that way for Katarina.

He wants to be confident around her and have the freedom (and no guilt) in romantically wooing her.

Which is nice, but also what a dork.

Also, Katarina’s dress in his fantasy is either the same as Katarina’s birthday dress, but in a different color. Or at the very least, very similar.

Possibly because Nicol got to dance with Katarina on her birthday and his fantasy did involve dancing with her. A nice bit of detail.

Mary’s reaction to his fantasy, was a gem among gems.

Alan

He wants to play a recital for Katarina. Which is just so touching. Seriously, Alan is killing me with his sweetness.

If I’m not mistaken, Katarina is wearing the same dress she wore to his recital during their summer break. So, it seems very likely he’s playing “Dedicated to You, My Beloved” to well his beloved.

I’m assuming there was more to his desire, but Mary shutting the book was hilarious.

Also, Alan got pretty damn close to his desire in the real world, so good on him.

-

I feel like it’s safe to say that Mary and Maria’s desire if they were amplified by the book, would be at the same level of everyone else’s’. 

Which is fun to imagine. Especially Mary’s desire for Katarina. 

Also, everyone realizing that not only did Mary and Maria sees their desire for Katarina, but Katarina experienced their desire was so funny. They all just stood up and left. A+ comedy.

The Study Session Growing

It was fun seeing everyone join in on Mary’s alone time with Katarina, one by one, and Mary’s frustration building up.

Evil Harem.

If we ever wanted to see the Harem as “evil,” this is not a bad reference point in terms of visuals.

 Raphael

I love the red herrings surrounding him. It appears he’s just falling for Katarina, which technically he is, but that’s just scratching the surface of what’s actually going on.

-

Overall, it was nice and cute episode and really funny and ridiculous.

We got a bit more of a look into the characters and their desires for Katarina, but really the main development was between Alan and Katarina. Who would’ve thought?

Oh, and Mary being the funniest character alive.

[imaginesforyourfandom]

Loving Her: Alex Morgan - Chapter 14

A/N: This is dedicated to a couple of my craclheads. Also, an official WARNING is in effect. There are some heavy topics in the story so please be careful. Better safe than sorry.

(Y/N) POV:

I was numb. I didn’t know whether to scream or cry. I never thought I could feel pain like this again. It was one thing when just a few people in my life knew. It’s all different now. The world knows. They know what I am. A disappointment. An abomination. Never really being good enough. A burden. Selfish. The thoughts that plague me when I’m alone. They are out there for everyone to know now.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Becky asked me as I shook my head.

“No.” I said shortly as she sighed. I walked away from her towards the field without talking to anyone.

I knew that it wasn’t their fault that this has happened, but I didn’t want the pity that they were looking at me with. I have never done well with being given sympathy. I just wanted to continue training and keep going in my day like usual, but I had a feeling that they weren’t going to let me. The looks that I was being given were starting to become extremely annoying. I know they have all seen the video and had heard the words used to describe me. Certain people had made a point to avoid me completely due to a certain reference in the video which I thought to be a smart decision. I didn’t have the patience to deal with anyone right now.

I wanted nothing more than to disappear and fall off the face of the planet. I wanted to go and crawl into bed and never come out again. It’s hard enough trying to push out all the bad memories that had found its way back into my head. My emotions had gone into overdrive as all the past pain I have felt resurfaced and overloaded my feelings. My head had yet to stop hurting and the pain in my chest had yet to subside.

As our practice started, I could already feel the tension starting to become too much. I was barely allowed to train due to having my hamstring be a little injured. Which means that my usual stress reliever was taken away from me.

“Light training” Dawn said to me as I nodded. For most of training, I was off by myself. I had started to get lost in my thoughts. This really was my worst nightmare come true. No one could fix this. No one could take away the pain I was feeling in my heart.

All the memories of that time in my life have resurfaced and has completely thrown me off of everything. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. All I want to do is crawl into bed and shut the world out. I don’t know how to face anyone outside of the people who hadn’t known about this.

“Hey.” I turned towards Alex who had a soft look on her face. She walked towards me pulling me in for a hug. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not” I mumbled as she nodded her head. She pulled away and gave me a sad look.

“I know.” She said as I stared at her. I wanted to accept her comfort, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be comforted right now.

She was called back to practice as I continued doing the light training on the side. Eventually, I was able to walk back into the locker room. I elected not to shower or anything. Doing light training was a piece of cake for me…so barely any sweat. Worst comes to worst I’ll take one later.

I started feeling irritation build as everyone continued giving me concerned looks. I was so not in the mood. I grabbed my stuff before exiting the locker room. I made my way to the bus that we were using as I found my seat and sunk down a little. The ride back to the hotel felt short as I immediately made my way to Alex and I’s room.

I walked in and placed my stuff on the bed as I tried to keep my composure. I wanted to scream and yell and destroy something as I felt my emotions build. I felt arms wrap around my waist as Alex rested her head on my back.

“Please talk to me.” She said though she sounded like she was pleading with me.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” I said as she sighed. “It is what it is.”

She placed a soft kiss on the back of my neck as I closed my eyes. I was trying so hard to let myself be comforted by her, but it wasn’t happening. I needed more time before I could accept it from her or anyone else.

“I’m here if you change your mind.” I nodded my head as she stood for another moment cuddling into my back as I rummaged through my bag. “I’m going to go see Kelley and them for a few minutes, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.” I mumbled as she gave me one more kiss before exiting the room.

I stood for a moment as soon as she was gone. The silence in the room was deafening as I tried to fight back the tears. I bit my lip as I tried taking deep breaths. My throat was tightening up and I was finding it harder to breath. I didn’t realize how much I needed to be alone until right now.

I have been surrounded by people since the day started and haven’t had a time to really be alone and process. I glanced down at my phone as I scrolled through the messages from Sebastian and Santiago. They had been trying to talk to me all day, but I had yet to answer them. I don’t know if it was shame or embarrassment even though I knew out of everyone they would understand the most.

As my thoughts continued going at a mile a minute, my breathing was becoming shallower as I started feeling nauseous. I ran into the bathroom emptying what little contents of breakfast I had into the toilet. I fell to the grounded as I started sobbing to myself.

After a few minutes, I had stopped crying for the most part. I had yet to actually watch the video that had ruined my life and I guess now would be the time. I pulled my phone and out pulled up the video that was still trending on twitter. I clicked on it as a fresh wave of tears hit me.

“Welcome back to CBN news as we are currently joined by Brian (Y/LN), the father of current US Soccer Star (Y/N) (Y/LN). Thank you for joining us Mr. (Y/LN).”

“Oh, please call me Brian.” He said as I felt more tears fall. I wasn’t even trying to stop it from happening at this point.

“So, I understand that you and your daughter are quite estranged? Is that right?”

“Yes, we haven’t spoken in some time…”

“Can you explain why that is?”

“If I can be frank, she chose the life of sin over her family.” I paused the video as I continued sobbing. Once I was a little more composed, I pressed play. “She is the abomination of our family.”

“So, does that mean that you have not been viewing this addition of the Women’s World Cup?”

“I have been watching. As has my whole family…obviously we want to support our women’s team, but with so much controversy surrounding the team and having to watch my daughter play…I won’t lie I have found it quite difficult to enjoy this wonderful game.”

“Bullshit.” I mumbled to myself as I continued watching the video.

“Look, I’ll be honest with you. I love my daughter. If she were to give up this life of sin, I would happily accept her back into my life. All I want is my little girl to come home.” I clenched my jaw as it started playing pictures of me when I was younger. Pictures of me with my family and my siblings. “This is not the life I had envisioned for my family…and when (Y/N) is ready to stop running around playing these silly games…she will be welcomed with open arms.”

“So, do you support her and this team at the World Cup?” the interviewer asked as my dad seemed to think about it for a moment.

“It would be anti-patriotic of me to say that I don’t support my countries national team in a world tournament…but if I could change anything…I don’t necessarily think I would want to send my daughter to represent our great nation…I would prefer a player who is closer to their religion…maybe a Jaelene Hinkle.” I watched them finish out the interview as the screen went black.

It was definitely worse than I thought it was. I felt the pain in my body start to become unbearable as I tried to find some control over myself. The more I tried the harder I cried. I haven’t cried like this in a while and honestly, I hate that for me.

I was so caught up in myself that I hadn’t heard the door open before I looked up to see Alex standing there with a look of concern. She immediately was by my side as I tried to wipe away my tears.

“It’s okay. I got you.” She said as pulling me into her. She started rubbing circles on my back as I sobbed into her shoulder. I clung to her like she would disappear if I let go. “You’re okay. Nothing can hurt you.”

“It hurts so much…” I whimpered as she started running her fingers through my hair. “I just want it to stop…”

“I know.” She pulled back and stared at me. I think she recognized that I was still having somewhat of a panic attack. She took my face in her hands forcing me to look at her. “Match my breathing. Slow breaths. In and out.”

She continued trying to calm me down as I started to relax a little. This was one of the biggest reasons that I needed her. She brought me comfort when nothing else could. My heart hurt less whenever she was around. I was always going to need her.

“That’s it.” She said as I started to return to normal. I was still letting out a whimper hear and there as I continued sniffling. “It’s alright.”

“I’m sorry.” I said as she shook her head.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” She said as I looked down. We sat in silence for a minute or two before I spoke up.

“I’m an abomination.” I whispered as Alex closed her eyes and started shaking her head.

“No. No. No. You are not an abomination. You are the greatest person I have ever known.” She said as I stared at her with teary eyes. “I can tell you and so can anyone else you talk too…you are a gift to all of us. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you. You are everything to me and more.”

“I just wish I didn’t exist sometimes…” I mumbled as she shook her head again.

“You may feel that way…but I am so grateful for your existence. You are undoubtedly the love of my life and every life after this…”

I stared at her as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Her lips felt soft compared to my dry cheeks. I leaned into her a little as my body finally wanted the comfort that she was giving. I closed my eyes as she continued holding me and running her fingers through my hair. To be honest, if my mind wasn’t in such turmoil…I could definitely fall asleep in her arms.

“Can we talk about something else?” I asked softly as she nodded her head.

“Let’s talk about something I actually care about.” She said as I shot her a weak smile. I know she was joking by the way she smiled at me. Her humor is what I needed right now. “Like my marriage proposal?”

I chuckled to myself a little as I stared at her. I knew the moment she asked me what my answer was going to be. The idea of living without her was physically painful. Was there ever any other option?

“Catching me when I am vulnerable.” I said as she frowned. “Smart.”

“We don’t have to talk about it. I was just changing the subject. I can change it again.” She said with a look of worry on her face.

“You know…the day I realized that I was in love with you…it was the worst day of my life…” I said as I continued sniffling a little.

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” She said as I looked at her.

“It was the worst day of my life because I realized that I could never love anyone the way I loved you.” She smiled and looked down slightly. I smiled as I waited for her to look back up at me. “I don’t want to say yes, and you think its because of everything that has happened today. I want you to know that I love you more than anything. I don’t feel like I exist without you. Maybe that’s not completely healthy, but its true. I want to marry you because there is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with than you.”

“I love you so much.” She said with a grin as she kissed me. “So, we are engaged then…”

“I guess so.” I said as she smiled at me. She pulled me in for another kiss as we sat there on the bathroom floor. “God, this day is so weird.”

“Yeah” she said laughing as she stood. “Come on.”

I took her hand as she pulled me up. We walked into the room as I watched her move around the room. I thought about what a shit day today had been. I don’t know if its because of that or the fact that looking at her right now…I see my future…but I don’t want to wait.

“Let’s do it now.” I said as she stopped and stared at me.

“Do what?” she asked with confusion. I smiled slightly.

“Get Married.” I said as she raised an eyebrow at me.

“What?” she asked me as I smiled at her. She gave me a look as I approached her.

“Hear me out.” I said as she crossed her arms. “I have waited literal years to be with you. I have known since forever that you are the only one meant for me and when I say I don’t want to wait another second…I mean it…I want to be married right now.”

“You’re serious.” She said with disbelief as I nodded my head.

“Deadly.”

“What about our friends and my family and…”

“We could still have a wedding with the ceremony and stuff…we would have to get the marriage certificate beforehand anyway…we just won’t tell anyone that we got married.”

“…and I thought I was a little crazy when I asked you…” she said as I grinned.

“Also, we are in France…arguably the most romantic place in the world. Why not get married when we are here on the verge of winning the world cup?”

“Some points are being made…”

“I’ll take the heat for not waiting…but I want to be married now…”

“Okay…” she said as I grinned. “Let’s get married.”

I grinned as she grabbed her jacket. We went to exit the room and ran right into Christen and Becky. Both gave me concerned looks as I shook my head.

“Can’t talk now. Got to go.” I said taking Alex’s hand in mine and moving past them.

“Hold it.” Becky said as I stopped and groaned. “Where are you going?”

“On a date.” I said as Becky gave me a skeptical look.

“Where are you really going?” Christen asked giving me a serious look. “Don’t lie. I’ll know if you lie.”

I looked to Alex who gave a slight head nod.

“We are going to get married.” I said as they both gave me looks.

“I said…don’t lie.” Christen said as I raised my eyebrows a little. She gave me a more serious look. “You’re serious?”

“Deadly.” Alex said as I nodded my head. “You can’t say anything though. It’s a secret.”

“Do you want to be our witness or witnesses?” I asked as they both stared at me.

“We came over here to make sure you were okay…because we knew that you were having a rough day…and now you’re getting married?”

“Yes…your point?” I asked as Alex gave me a look.

“Be nice.”

“You don’t feel like you’re rushing things?” Christen asked crossing her arms.

“Look, as long as she is still on board to do this…we are doing it. So, you can either come and be our witnesses or shut up about it. It doesn’t matter. All I know is I am getting hitched today.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Christen asked as I frowned.

“Maybe a little.” I said as I looked to Alex who gave me a small smile. “Crazy in love.”

“Oh Jesus…” Becky said as I turned towards them.

“Look, I know you think this is crazy. I know you probably don’t approve, but I have never been surer of something I have wanted than this…she’s the love of my life. I know it and you know it. This is the right decision. It doesn’t matter if we get married now or tomorrow or even years from now…because the love I have for her is never going to change. I will never change my mind.”

They both gave me looks of concern before they sighed. They seemed to have a silent conversation before both nodding their heads.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Becky asked as I looked to Alex who shrugged.

“No.”

“For fucks sake…” Christen mumbled pulling her phone out. A moment later she smiled as she turned her screen towards us. “This one has great reviews. They are also 24 hours so…”

“Then, what are we waiting for?” Alex said as I grinned at her. The four of us then went down to the lobby and exited the hotel. It wasn’t long be we were at the chapel. We quickly started filling stuff out as we filled out the documents we would need.

“Which one of you is changing your name?” Christen asked holding the paper.

“Me.” I said quickly as all three looked at me. “What?”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.” Alex said as I nodded my head.

“I’m sure. I don’t need to keep my last name. There’s nothing good about my family. I don’t want to spend forever dwelling on what I don’t have. I’d much rather appreciate what I do have and build a better future for myself.”

“My last name it is then…” Alex said looking to Christen who had a small smile on her face. Christen was definitely coming around to this.

“Okay. That should be it.” Christen said handing us the paperwork to look at. We made sure everything was correct before turning it back in.

We waited for a bit before it was time for us to have the mini ceremony. We had changed into some more formal clothes as I was wearing a little suit and Alex had elected for a white dress. I stood at the alter waiting for Alex to walk down. Becky was next to me as Alex had chosen Christen to stand in place of a maid of honor type thing.

“This is crazy.” Becky said as I nodded.

“It sure is.” I said as music started to play. Christen came down first giving me a small look as I smiled at her.

I felt my breath get caught in my throat as Alex was next. She looked beautiful as I stared at her in amazement. She looked breathtaking now…I could only imagine what she would look like on the actual day when we have the big ceremony. Becky and Christen both moved a little and were filming on their phones as Alex and I stood facing each other.

The guy started talking going through all the traditional marriage stuff as I stared at Alex. She looked so good.

“Vows?” he asked us as I looked to Alex. She smiled at me shaking her head slightly.

“You know…the roads we took to get to this moment were really long. The pain we went through and the heartache we had to go through to find our way to each other. Almost unbearable, but I thank god every day that he brought you to me. After everything that happened, I didn’t think that I was ever going to find love again…find in someone who manages to be stubborn yet compromising. Someone who is so not sympathetic yet manages to be the most kind-hearted person I know. No one makes my heart beat the way you do. No one understands me the way you do. You have the softest heart of anyone I know and I can’t wait to get to spend the rest of my life getting to know everything about it. As dumb as it may sound, you are what makes my world spin. The sun and the moon don’t rise and fall unless I have you around. Everything is dull without you. I don’t ever want to go a day without your smile in my sight. Your touch sets my skin on fire and when you look at me it feels like I am standing in a spotlight. You make me feel like I can do anything and everything. I know that with you by myside, I’ll never be alone again. I am so unbelievably in love with you (Y/N) (Y/LN).”

“How the fuck am I supposed to follow that?” I asked as she laughed softly. “I’ve loved you for so long. I didn’t think I would ever get the chance to show that, but I knew I could love you better than anyone. I’ve said it before, but I am so serious when I say that the day, I realized I loved you, I knew I would never be able to love anyone else that way. The path to get to this moment hasn’t been easy.  It’s been the most stressful thing, but every time I look at you, I know it was worth it. I know I would go down that path again just to make it back into your arms every single time. I don’t trust easily…but I trust you more than anyone…I know you don’t believe me when I say that, but it’s true. A lot of things don’t make sense to me…I’ve made more mistakes in my life doing what I thought was right…but I can confidently say that you make the most sense to me. I didn’t think I could ever open my heart like this, but this love is undeniable. The mere idea of ever being without it tears me apart. No one else has the power to hurt me, but I am right here giving it to you because I know my heart is safe. I am so unequivocally in love with you Alex Morgan. You’ve always been and will remain to be the greatest thing that I have had the privilege of loving.”

The officiator continued going through everything as we eventually were pronounced wife and wife. I grinned and pulled her into me giving her a kiss. She smiled as we leaned our foreheads against each other. We had on cheap rings that barely counted as rings as I made a silent promise to myself to get her a better one.

“Okay…like that was cute.” Christen said as I grinned. “I can’t believe you’re married.”

“Believe it.” I said as I grinned at Alex. “Also, send me the videos.”

We exited the chapel and made our way back to the hotel. I was ecstatic as we reached our room after making Christen and Becky promise not to say anything. I grinned at Alex as she was looking down at her phone. My wife. Jesus. I will never get tired of saying that.

“Babe come to bed.” I said as the forward looked up at me. She tilted her head a little as I opened my arms. She climbed into them resting her head on my chest.

“You know what I just realized…”

“hmm?”

“We didn’t have sex before marriage.” She said as I looked at her. “Though, not for a lack of trying. Because let’s be clear…I have tried.”  

“God, I hope the sex is good…” I mumbled as she shot me a look, “Like not to be mean, but definitely grounds for divorce.”

She slapped my shoulder as I grinned at her. She leaned down and kissed me as I held her close. We had training tomorrow, so I knew for a fact she wasn’t going to want tonight to be our first.

“Where do you want to honeymoon?” I asked as she cuddled into my chest.

“We can talk about it. I think we might have to wait until the offseason to go on our honeymoon.”

“Yeah…I think so too.”

“We can make up for all the lost time when we do that…” she said giving me a small smile as I grinned at her.

“Yeah…maybe we should just go to a fancy hotel and then just never leave the room.” I said as she chuckled.

“I want to go somewhere cute.” She said as I nodded my head.

“You can pick a place. I’m not picky.” I said as she nodded.

“I know…do you have a preference on anywhere though…like tropical? Or something?”

“Anywhere we get to go swimming…it’s my favorite thing to do with you…”

“You just like stare.” She teased as I grinned.

“Yeah…have you seen you? My wife is the hottest woman I have ever seen.”

“Perv.”

“Yeah…well you married me…”

“I can’t believe we are married…” she said as she stared at me with a grin.

“Yeah…you don’t regret it do you?”

“Never.” She said kissing me. I smiled as we laid there for a few more minutes. I was enjoying just getting spend time with her. This day had started out being absolute crap. My dad had put all my business out there letting the whole world know that I had been disowned for being gay.

There were people supporting me and people saying it’s what I deserved. Mostly though I was gaining a lot of support. I keep asking myself why he would do this during the middle of the tournament, but then I remember that he doesn’t actually care about me. It’s hard to believe that there was ever a time when he did. I hadn’t seen anything about the rest of my family, and it makes me wonder if they even knew he was planning on doing that. My brother probably did and encouraged it, but my mom and sister. My mom has never been one to stand up to my dad or the things he did. I haven’t forgot that she had told me that she was sure I would grow out of it, but what about my sister? She had always done whatever she could to protect me. Did she know that he was going to expose me to the entire world? What if she had changed her mind about me? What if she also thought I was an abomination? It’s been a long time since she had talked to me so that really wasn’t a far-off thought…

The family I had wanted so badly…all I ever wanted was for them to accept me. I wanted them to tell me they loved me. Was that so wrong? To be loved by those who are supposed to love you. Family love is supposed to be unconditional, yet they threw mine away so easily. My mind started drifting towards Alex and the team as I continued thinking about family.

I had a family. It took me a real long time to realize that. I had Sebastian and Santiago who had taken me in without a second thought. They never let me go a day without knowing how much they care. The rest of the team had always been there for me too whether I knew it or not. My kids who had never really left my side when everything went down before. Even if they knew I was wrong, they didn’t leave my side. They made sure I was okay and that I had someone to talk to. They were teaching me to be more open and just to enjoy the life I have been given.

I had Becky who despite recognizing me as a whole mess, had never once turned me away. She had let me cry and feel the pain while also telling me how much of a good person I was. She let me be me without having to apologize for the parts of me that weren’t so great. She accepted me the way a mother should accept their child. I don’t think I could ever tell her that she reminds me of my mom though…that might be a little embarrassing and I just know she won’t let me live it down. And Christen, a relationship that is so complicated for me. I hurt her and broke her trust, yet she was still there for me never once making me feel like I was a bad person. Even when I devastated her…she always reminds me to stop and breathe and make sure I am okay before anything else. She accepted me into her life without a second thought. I really need to learn to be a better friend to her, because she deserves better than the bullshit, I put her through.

Then, there’s Alex. The girl I have loved for so long. The one I had known I needed the moment she entered my life. The spark between us and the way we interacted just made sense. No one has ever understood me that much that fast. She just seemed to get it whenever I spoke and the way she spoke just stole my whole heart. The way she looks at the world. The way she is a role model to those who look up to her. She worries so much about being a good person, but also just enjoying life. Life has been unkind to her. She’s told me before that she is damaged though I disagree. I am damaged though. Maybe that’s why we both are so drawn to each other. We have both had our hearts broken in half. So, together we make a whole. She’s my person. The one I will always need. Part of the reason I married her. I don’t know what the future holds for us given how hectic our lives are. I know though that I can’t wait to explore life now that I have her by my side for good.

“Hey…” Alex said softly reaching up and wiping a stray tear from eye. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I said as she gave me a concerned look. “Just got lost in my thoughts.”

“Are you sure?” she asked as I nodded.

“Yea. I was just thinking about you and the girls and my boys…the family I didn’t know I had until recently.”

“Well…you and I are officially family forever so…” she laughed as I nodded

“Yeah I guess we are…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you Alex.” I said as she grinned at me leaning up to give me a kiss.

“I love you too.” She said as she gave me another kiss. She made sure our alarms were set for the next day. It was one more day of training and media before we would have to play against the Netherlands in the final. I was hoping I would be healed enough to play which according to Dawn. I should be so…I don’t know if I am more excited to get to play on my birthday, play with my wife, or play in a World Cup final…mark it as all of the above. All I know is, these next few days are going to be very interesting.

To Be Continued…

[rebeccaseattle]

Stand and Deliver

I am, practically speaking a math teacher. Technically speaking, I am a mild/moderate special ed teacher, but I teach math, to special ed kids, mostly.   

Growing up, one movie I saw over, and over, and over again in school was Stand and Deliver. It was played almost every day we had a sub or the teacher didn’t have a plan, etc, etc etc. Then, my senior year my school theater program (of which I was highly involved) decided to do the play version. I essentially memorized that film. If you don’t know the movie, is carefully based off a true story of the famous math teacher, Jaime Escalante, an immigrant from Bolivia, whose teaches/coaches/mentors a handful of underserved high school students from a gang-ridden Garfield High School in LA into taking and passing the AP Calculus exam. These students success is so impressive, that they naturally are accused of cheating and the students have to retake a harder version of the test to indeed prove they do know math that well. 

Anyway, now that I am working math students, I asked myself, should I show the movie to my students? Somehow no one in my school seemed to know about the film. I’m sure things have changed in the 15 years since my own high school experience, and I’m in a different demographic. So I researched the movie carefully and how different educators felt about it. 

I ended up reading a lot about Jaime Escalante and the true story the film was based on. It was actually pretty close, a lot closer than your usual Hollywood films, it’s inaccuracies were few and not to dramatic. 

I found one fascinating blog post all about why teachers should not show this film to their students. One major point was, while Jaime Escalante was clearly an amazing educator who lead his kids to success, he was very controversial. Not only at Garfield high school as is portrayed in the film for pushing his kids so hard and setting high expectations for him, but also for later in life as he supported “English Only” movement in education. Many had the opinion that such an outlook is oppressive to students learning English as a second language. Most of the blog readers I read who said this, were like me, white, and native English speakers. I found this fascinating. I don’t necessarily agree with the English only movement, I don’t have an opinion and don’t think it’s my place to form one at this time. However, I think it’s possible to separate one person’s endeavor from another and appreciate one without the other. For example, I do in fact like Einstein’s general theory of relativity, however Albert was a huge jerk to his first wife, Meliva (whose name appears on one of the early drafts as its often said she helped with the math involved) and left her penniless with 3 children he refused to support for over a decade. Still Albert Einstein did do an amazing job of figuring out, testing, and working on this theory and that’s still amazing and inspiring. So I don’t think that was a valid reason to not watch it. 

Another educator wrote that Stand and Deliver was in the same spirit of “Dangerous Minds” which is definitely a movie about white saviorism. That movie, whose title alone offends me, also based on a true story, is about a white lady who comes to a gang-ridden high school and teaches English to underserved populations and like reduces gang violence or something (it’s been a while). That of course is a theme I need to avoid at all costs, savorism is a horrifying myth I seen projected onto my job, more on that later. For more fun we can watch the SNL skit “Pretty White Lady.”

However, Stand and Deliver is not the same as Dangerous Minds. The teacher is not a white person, but an immigrant himself who is technically classified as Latino. Okay, yes Bolivia is a very different country than say Mexico, or the other countries my students, or his, may come from. And I’m sure they don’t speak the same type of Spanish is Bolivia then say other countries, but still he’s an immigrant literally speaking the same language as his students. 

Also, the other factor I had to point out, is the math in Stand and Deliver, is actually very real math. In college I learned an excellent short cut to integration by parts, that my professors learned from the movie. Today things are a lot better, but in that era, the math in movies, was actually quite fake, and bad. The math that is done in SD, is actually quite accurate. It’s real calculus, algebra, and trig. I figured if nothing else I could show it to my kids purely for them to try to recognize the math happening in the movie. 

So I played the movie for my students and kept an open mind. I tried not to lecture or get to preachy toward them, I just wanted to be open to how they responded and then figure out if this was an advantageous movie for them to see. I did tell them to be aware of the various math tricks that happened in the movie. 

Also it was my first time watching the movie since I learned calculus and was very excited to revisit these scenes and examine the math. 

So here is the results:

1. My kids loved the movie. If for nothing else, they liked watching a movie in their math class. They would much rather watch movies then do math. It didn’t matter that the movie was nearly half a century old, still better than doing a worksheet or something. 

2. One thing that I noticed is that a number of my kids liked that the movie was about latina/latino students. A number of my students have a lot of pride in their ethnicity. While there are a number of white people in the movie, they show up in minor supporting roles. Much like the reverse of what we see in Hollywood today. The movie really is about Latin Americans and they seemed to appreciate that they were in the foreground. The minute it started, one of my students who had never spoke to me before then, told me about one of his favorite old movies, that was casted completely by latino actors. 

Furthermore, while Escalante is central, and he is portrayed as a hero, the real heroes of the movie are actually the high school students. It was very much a movie about kids in high school that delved into their family lives, dating issues, career decisions, conflicts with friends, etc. So it’s also a movie about high school kids. 

3. In addition, despite the movie being around 40 years old, there were a couple of cultural elements my students seem to relate to. For example, the way my students greet each other and their particular hand shake (which I can’t do, but am learning, growth mindset) was done in the movie by adults. In the scene when Guadalupe was putting her brothers and sisters to bed, one of my students, who identifies as Mexican, called out, “That’s a Mexican household there. That’s my cousins” My students commented on what food was being cooked in scenes and compared it to their friends and families’ cooking. In the conflict scene where Escalante confronts the college board representatives about the accusations, they were super engaged, predicting, accurately what Escalante would say next and how they would have handled it. They pointed out to me we have the same desks as the students in the movie (facepalm here). They even explained to me, the subtext of the gang violence around Angel in the movie. This is something I didn’t see or understand when I was a kid.  Of course this wasn’t the whole movie. A lot of the scenes culturally didn’t make sense to them, they were outdated, not relatable, or relevant. 

4. They liked that the movie talked openly about racism. Going back to that scene where Escalante confronts the school board, they were super engaged. They got very excited when Escalante confronts the college board representatives, and the fact that they were sent out because of their distinct ethnic backgrounds. They liked that the racism was being called out rather than everyone turning a blind eye and closed mouth. Most of my students, regardless of ethnicity were engaged in that part. 

Some of the kids though just spaced out, or were on their phones. I still have mixed feelings about the film, and would welcome other’s opinions about showing stand and deliver as a math teacher. It could be they were just grateful for a chill day. 

For me, I noticed a few things. 

1. The math is very accurate, and there are a couple of really cool math tricks happening in it. Namely integration by parts and the trick to multiply by nines using the fingers. 

2. I liked that Escalante pointed out the Mayans understood the concept of zero long before europeans did. I personally also like pointing out white people did not invent algebra, middle easterners did. I think the history of math is important, but is often whitewashed to be just about the Greeks and Romans. Often in history, only white history is told and the accomplishments of groups is silenced. 

3. The only math flaw I saw in the movie was when Escalante read ln(x-1) as the words L N. Any Calculus teacher worth their weight would of course read it as “The Natural Log of x minus 1. 

4. There are all sorts of subtext I understand now as an adult, that I didn’t as a kid. The fact the Ana leaves the test early so others won’t be accused of cheating off of her, or that Guadalupe doesn’t have a place or time to study when she’s at home. 

5. There is a honestly, the kids are clearly treated unfair by society and the movie points out this truth. The kids rise above by having to work extra hard to retake the test. I don’t know about the message of having the kids to work extra hard, I don’t want to get to preachy in my profession. But at least it acknowledges the unfair, racist elements the kids deal with, rather than be in denial or victim blaming I often see. It does have the message that the the kids are up to the challenge. They may have to work harder, but they are certainly underestimate by those in power over them. That makes an interesting point, but I’m not sure what it is yet. 

Anyway, I showed the movie this year, and I would love other’s thoughts about it. 

[coin-news-blog]

Lightning Network Wiki Page Faces Removal for Lack of Notability

New Post has been published on https://coinmakers.tech/news/lightning-network-wiki-page-faces-removal-for-lack-of-notability

Lightning Network Wiki Page Faces Removal for Lack of Notability

Lightning Network Wiki Page Faces Removal for Lack of Notability

A slew of Wikipedia editors would like to delete the Lightning Network (LN) Wiki page because the subject matter does not hold notability. Wikipedia editors use notability as a test to find out if a topic warrants its own article. The LN article debate on Wikipedia is still raging as a few editors believe the subject is “dredging for mainstream press coverage” while highlighting that the article does not have reliable third-party sources.

Lightning Network Wiki Article Questioned for Notability and Sourced Content

The controversial LN scaling solution for BTC is being discussed on Wikipedia because a group of Wiki editors would like to delete the Lightning Network article for lack of notability. The discussion among Wikipedia contributors shows there’s a disagreement about the validity of the LN article. “There is a problem with notability of the subject: the citations in the article refers to self-published texts that are not acceptable for notability,” explains the editor Ladislav Mecir. “Other sources found also do not qualify as significant coverage by sources independent on the subject,” Mecir added. A few people came to the LN article’s defense and said that they think that the LN page “is sufficiently notable for WP.” “It’s fair to say that it’s one of the most important initiatives in the Bitcoin ecosystem and seems to be the only viable path for Bitcoin,” Wiki contributor ‘Jimd’ wrote.

Another editor who wants to pull the entire subject from Wikipedia said he finds it difficult to take any press coverage of the LN project seriously. He further said that the ‘Bob and Carol’ explanation within the article is a better example but “still laughable.” “I’d prefer to get rid of the whole lot — Ultimately it looks like many people are having the wool pulled over their eyes by a few crooks who claim the impossible — There’s no reason for Wikipedia to get involved at all.”

Another contributor said that the subject may be best suited for a broader article on consensus-less decentralized payment systems. The editor further added that the LN project would be near the bottom of the list as the project is not “Bitcoin-specific but could be used with a multitude of systems.” During the LN article deletion debate, an editor named ‘Jtbobwaysf’ said that [Wikipedia] doesn’t “remove old dead subjects.” “They are useful from a historic perspective — Also think your suggestion of a broader article would be nice, maybe we can do that when there are some other similar networks on Ethereum, etc.,” Jtbobwaysf wrote. “Or maybe they will later all be referred to as Lightning if that becomes the common name.”

Greg Maxwell: ‘LN Article Has a Fringe Chance of Removal’

After this comment, Bitcoin Core and Blockstream developer Greg Maxwell stepped into the conversation. Maxwell is well known for contributing to Wikipedia but some Wiki contributors have called him an editor who “regularly makes personal attacks.” Maxwell believes the LN article should be kept and told Jtbobwaysf that “Lightning is very much not dead.”

“My only point there was that effort debating the boundary of cryptocurrency notability would be better spent on things that weren’t close to obvious keeps,” Maxwell remarked.

The debate continued with a few more editors throwing in their two cents about the LN article on Wikipedia. It seems a good portion of the contributors believe the sources used in the article were not up to standards. Throughout most of the commentary, there were issues about the validity of sourced content. Besides the source problem, an editor named ‘Kjerish’ believes that the LN subject “has enough notability as a data structure alone.” “The subject potentially applies to several chains (not just Bitcoin),” the editor added. After the news spread about Wikipedia editors discussing deleting the LN page, a few crypto influencers spoke about the subject on social media.

“Go ahead, delete it,” tweeted Casa CTO Jameson Lopp. “The Wikipedia page for Bitcoin was deleted in July of 2010 and it wasn’t a big deal — It ended up being restored 6 months later.” When someone posted about the subject on r/bitcoin, Greg Maxwell told the creator of the thread not to “spam this sort of thing” on the Reddit forum. “Wikipedia is exceptionally unlikely to remove this article, and in the fringe chance it were removed it would only be merged into some bigger article,” Maxwell stressed. Instead of discussing the subject further the Redditor said: “All right, deleted the post.”

Source: news.bitcoin

[boludosaires]

1/19/17:Interviewed

Today, I realized that the work culture in Argentina fits me so much better than American work culture and I think I’m gonna hate going back.

I realized this because today I worked with Nati, the Venezuelan intern, to interview a man named Henrikk, who moved to Buenos Aires from Copenhagen 3 years ago and who’s on a mission to make this city the biking Mecca of Latinoamerica.

See, it turns out in Copenhagen, like 90% of people own bikes, the bike lanes are huge, and there’s great laws to protect bikers from accidents. Not so much right now in Buenos Aires, but there is a free bikeshare program, and Henrikk thinks there’s a ton of potential. So we interviewed him for an online special we’re doing about bike culture in Buenos Aires cause 2017 is the 200th anniversary of the bike’s invention (though that’s controversial… Google it).

Anyway, what I loved was that Henrikk came to the office bright and early at 9am, so we could interview him “before work.” We interviewed him for about an hour and a half, and then sat and chatted and looked up stuff online about biking for another 45 minutes. Then we introduced him to the LNData team, and sat with Gaby, one of my co-workers on the team, for another 45 minutes chatting and drinking mate. Then we gave him a tour around the office, and introduced him to the rest of the team and the editor of our story. And THEN he left. At like 12:30. So much for “before work”.

But Henrikk didn’t mind at all, and Nati didn’t seem to think it was weird either to keep him so long. I think I was the only one internally freaking out like “We’re taking so much of this guy’s time, he must be so annoyed, doesn’t he have to leaveAAHHHH”. Because that’s the sense when I do most interviews in the U.S.; if I get more than 30 minutes facetime with someone, it’s unbelievable. 

But Henrikk summed it up really well while we were chatting. He said what he’s learned during his work here as a foreigner is patience. People here do work by building trust and relationships, and that means just sorta hanging out. Which to me is a beautiful thing that people in the U.S. white collar world really don’t know how to do, and in fact, look down upon because it’s “wasting time”.

But no; THEY’RE wasting time by being around all these potential relationships and never stopping to invest in any of them.

 I’ll just let that sit, America.

<3 Escoot

 P.S. Check out my first published thing here! It’s part of this huge special the LNData team has worked on for 2 years about the case of Alberto Nisman, an attorney who was investigating the 1994 AMIA bombing and the subsequent shady negotiations between Argentina’s government and Iran when he mysteriously died.

http://www.lanacion.com.ar/1976325-dos-anos-de-analisis-de-las-escuchas-de-nisman

The story gives a lot more background. The part I worked on is in the video at the bottom page, which is a special edition of La Nacion’s nightly news program LN PM. My video starts around the 1:30 mark of that video, although full disclosure, I didn’t do all the beautiful edits and music and stuff. I just helped find the clips and decide what the plot of the video should be. But still an awesome thing to work on.

Palabras Nuevas

·      Citas-quotes

·      Respaldo-backup (memory)

·      Tomas-shots (video)

·      Asentada-established

·      Vera-edge, border

·      Predio-property

·      Baldió-empty, useless

·      Cura-priest

·      Pone en vilo-destabilize

·      Encontrar-to find

·      Encontrarse con-to meet someone

·    �� Caerse bien a alguien-to like someone (friendly, not attracted)

·      Acostarse- to go to sleep

[randybutternubber]

Bro I never said it was a bad thing or uncreative?? I just think it’s funny. There are a couple situations though where it can get a bit difficult, for example, there are five separate children from the original comics who fans often called “the child in green” or the “boy in green” which obviously made things rather difficult. There’s also the issue with some characters sharing numbered names, like two characters sometimes being referred as five. There was also a small subset of people who referred to mono as one which lead to two characters sharing said name. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with naming characters off of their most prominent traits either, however, there are some names which definitely come off badly- for example, the group of children in LN2 comic 6 are sometimes referred to as “the black children” which sounds… not so good. Crutches is… also not the best but it isn’t awful either. I hope that you can see that it wasn’t my intention to insult the fandom’s creativity, I just thought it was funny as hell because it reminded me of warrior cats 💀

This really is my most controversial LN take isn’t it 💀

(Sorry if it genuinely did come off as insulting though, that wasn’t my intention)

I think it’s hilarious that if LN fans aren’t naming characters based off of a number, they’re named based off of their most prominent trait. It’s like warrior cats up in here. Nosebleed, tall child, strong child, forked child, Wissouri, ect

EDIT: I FORGOR ABOUT RAINCOAT GIRL

HELL I ALSO FOGOR ABOUT SCARF KID 😭😭