#my mom was like yeah no don’t even think about going
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TW: Conversion "Therapy" Mention / Homophobia
AN: Sorry this one took a while! - longer than I'd like away!. Coming back from a mini vaca and getting back into work and routine is a nightmare, also my delicate sleep schedule is ruineddd. Anywho, we should be back in business now! :) now, DJ play Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan!
Transcript under the cut
Geoffrey: Great job, bud! Tree is looking great!
Malcolm: It’s because I’m a decorator like mommy.
Jonathan: Mom, are you leaving? We’re supposed to decorate the tree too.
Nancy: Save a few ornaments for me to put on there, darling. Mommy has to step out for a couple hours.
Geoffrey: Johnny’s right, you know. Decorating it is apart of the deal.
Nancy: Can’t you spare me an hour or two?
Geoffrey: Remember what I said about being there?
Nancy: That’s not fair. I’ve been doing better, haven’t I? I left work early, which I’m hardly ever able to do and we found the tree together. I haven’t seen Vanessa in 16 years, Geoffrey. This is important to me.
Geoffrey: Yeah, well, this is pretty important to them.
Nancy: Please don’t make me feel guilty about this.
Geoffrey: It’s just you and Vanessa, right?
Nancy: [frowns] Yes, of course. I’ll be back, ok?
-
Vanessa: I’m glad you came.
Nancy: I wouldn’t have miss this for the world.
Vanessa: You look so beautiful tonight.
Nancy: [blushes] So do you. You’ve always have.
Vanessa: [smiles] I wasn’t sure on your choice of champagne, so I hope you don’t mind we have mine. I guess it’s one of the many things we’ll have to learn about each other.
Nancy: This is perfect. I’m sure I’ll love anything you like.
Nancy Narrates: [I found myself unable to eat. Instead, I got my fill of her. I studied her, consumed the sight of her with greedy, curious eyes]
Nancy Narrates: [It thrilled and frightened me the way she took me in too, as if she was trying to recall all those precious details that may have gotten lost in time. Seeing all the ways I could have changed and stayed the same]
Nancy Narrates: [One thing was for certain: my heart still raced the moment our fingers found one another, just like when we were girls. It was a delicate and familiar touch that I could feel from inside, and it was almost as if no time had passed at all]
Vanessa: [softly] Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, the woman you’ve become. I’ve thought of you, over time, what kind of woman you grew up to be.
Nancy: Is it what you expected?
Vanessa: Successful? Powerful? Stunning? Yes, I like to think so.
Nancy: I’ve thought of you too.
Vanessa: Yeah?
Nancy: I thought about what you did, after high school. Who you became. If you fell in love. If you thought about me too. Feels good, knowing you did.
Vanessa: I think holding on to the version of you I remembered kept me sane, after all this time. Do you mind if I smoke? Helps my nerves.
Nancy: As long as I can bum one.
Vanessa: Hey, do you remember our first cigarette together?
Nancy: How could I forget?
Vanessa: Share a light with me. For old times’ sake?
Vanessa: So, care to share all those burning questions you said you had for me?
Nancy: Now I feel like I’m being put on the spot.
Vanessa: Oh, come on. Don’t go shy on me now. How’s this? I’ll ask a question, then you, and so on.
Nancy: Alright. Shoot.
Vanessa: Do you still talk in your sleep?
Nancy: I- what!? I did not talk in my sleep!
Vanessa: Oh, yes you did. Full sentences too. You monologued even.
Nancy: Fuck off, I did NOT talk in my sleep! How would you know anyway? You were practically narcoleptic. I’d be up for hours after you fell asleep.
Vanessa: [murmurs] Still talks in her sleep- in denial about it. Ok. Got it. Your turn.
Nancy: I’ll ask a REAL question this time.
Vanessa: [smirks] That was a real question. I came all this way just to know but ok, ask away.
Nancy: Well, speaking of ‘all this way’. Where do you live?
Vanessa: Here and there. I don’t like to sit in one spot for too long; I get restless. Bored. I’ve spent the last 6 months in Tomorang. Beautiful people. Lovely culture. That’s actually where I heard your name mentioned for the first time. You’ve got quite the reputation over there. You’ve been up to no good, I hear.
Nancy: Christ...long story. Please don’t ask. Are you thinking of moving here?
Vanessa: Ah, ah. It’s my turn. Let’s see...ah! Who’s idea was it to make Geoffrey ‘Mr. Landgraab’. That’s probably the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.
Nancy: My parents, of course. They didn’t want to erase the family name and since they no longer have a son to continue their legacy- well. You get it. Speaking of marriage, are you married?
Vanessa: No, I’m not married.
Nancy: Well. Are you...seeing anyone?
Vanessa: [smirks] No.
Nancy: Children?
Vanessa: No children either. Those counts as a question, by the way.
Nancy: Oops. Ok, ok, you can ask two then. It’s only fair.
Vanessa: I guess I’ll ask a ‘real question’ then. Are you happy like this?
Nancy: [pauses] Like...what?
Vanessa: Married. Married to him. Does it make you happy?
Nancy: [shifts] I care for him very much. He’s the father of my children. He’s a good man and he’s good to me. Why are you asking me this-
Vanessa: Do you still like women?
Nancy: Do you?!
Vanessa: You have to answer my question first-
Nancy: Did you get my voicemail? November 2nd, 1993. I called you and I left you a voicemail. Did you hear it?
Vanessa: Nancy-
Nancy: Why didn’t you call me back? What—what happened to you, Vanessa? Where did you go? Where have you been!? Why, after all this time, am I just now seeing you?
Vanessa: It’s not really the easiest thing to talk about, but I know I owe you closure. [exhales] After I was pulled out of school, my father had me admitted. I received treatments to ‘fix’ me. Every time I fucked up and pissed off my father, he’d pack me up and ship me off until I came back normal and obedient.
Vanessa: There were days I thought I couldn’t keep going on like that, but then I heard your voicemail, and it... scared me. It made me angry. It broke my heart, but most importantly, it woke me up. I finally found the strength to escape my father and live my own truth. It cost me everything—my family disowned me. I relinquished my fortune, but in return, I’m free. I’m free, and I can live the life I deserve. I just... I wish I could have called, but life didn’t work out that way.
Nancy: It should have because I did call you, Vanessa.
Vanessa: I know.
Nancy: [weakly] I said that I loved you..
Vanessa: I know, I know...things were different for me back then.
Nancy: Things are different now! I’m married. I’m a mother!
Vanessa: I know, Nancy. I didn’t come here to break up a happy home.
Nancy: Why did you come here?
Vanessa: Can’t a girl miss her best friend?
Vanessa: Listen. I’ve thought a lot about how I would fit into your life if I ever got to see you again, if this was something you would want at all. That time we shared in our youth was the happiest I’ve ever been. I missed that feeling. I’ve missed you. I’m in a place to explore a friendship with you again, if you want it. If not, then I’ll accept that.
Nancy: I do want this. I want you here. I just...I can’t...
Vanessa: I know. It could be simple. Easy. I miss you, Nancy.
Nancy: [sighs] I miss you too. I’ve missed you so much.
#the art of being seen#the landgraabs#tw conversion therapy#tw homophobia#sims 4 simblr#ts4 simblr#sims 4 stories#sims 4#sims 4 community
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Dean’s minding his own business, sipping on a beer and leering at the bartender, when a guy that admittedly has about four inches and a good twenty pounds of muscle on him storms over and shoves him in the arm.
He tenses, getting to his feet and preparing for a fight even as he’s wondering what he did to piss him off. Maybe the bartender’s his girl? Jesus, Dean was just looking, he can’t get mad at just looking when his girl look likes that.
“Dude, what the hell?” the guy demands. “I know you’re pissed at me right now, but just leaving me back there – do you know how many bars it took to find you? You’re a jackass.”
He’s not taking a swing, instead standing with crossed arms – fuck, this guy is huge, he’d really like to avoid a fight here – and scowling at him, his long hair falling into his eyes as he looks down at him. Dean wishes he had any idea what was going on right now. “Look, man, relax.” The guy’s eyes narrow, his shoulders lifting and expanding as he takes in a deep breath, as if he needs any help to look bigger. Before he can say anything, Dean adds, “I think you’ve got me confused with someone else.”
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Fuck off.” He presses his lips together, somehow appearing smaller in the next moment without actually moving. “Look, I know you’re mad about heaven, you’ve made that pretty fucking clear, but you can’t just walk off and turn off your phone. I figured you were just being an ass, but something could have happened to you. If you’re ignoring me, at least let me know you’re ignoring me.”
The guy doesn’t look like he’s tweaking, or suffering some sort of head injury. His eyes are clear and his voice is steady. But Dean has no idea what he’s talking about. “Dude, you’ve really got me confused with someone else.”
“Dean!” he snaps, which woah, okay, he wasn’t expecting that. “This isn’t funny.”
“I’m not laughing,” he says. “How do you know my name?”
He stares at him, uncertainty entering his eyes for the first time. “Are you feeling okay? You didn’t come across Zachariah or a witch or something in the past couple hours?”
He doesn’t know who Zachariah is, but the casual mention of witches makes him frown. Is this guy a hunter or something? He figures he’d remember meeting him, but maybe not.
“Everything okay over here?” Dad’s hand lands heavily on his shoulder, and Dean shifts enough to see him giving the guy a hard stare that has sent more than one man running in the other direction.
Dean almost rolls his eyes – he’s thirty one years old, he doesn’t need his dad coming over to save him – but he makes the effort so rarely that Dean can’t help but be warmed by it.
The guy pales, mouth dropping open as he stares at Dad like he’s seen a ghost. “You – Christo.”
Okay, definitely a hunter. Dad raises an eyebrow. “I’m not a demon.”
The guy grabs for Dean, yanking on his hand. Dean jerks back, but he’s already gotten his long fingers around his ring. He pulls it off and Dean is about to break his jaw to get it back, but he tosses it to Dad, who catches it on instinct. Dean doesn’t get it until he does. His ring is silver. He’s checking if Dad is a shifter, which okay, that’s one thing. Dean’s more concerned about how he knows his ring is silver. The guy’s voice cracks when he says, “Dad?”
Dad raises an eyebrow. “I think you’re a little confused.”
“Dean, what’s going on?” he asks, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket. Dean should push him off. “What,” his gaze drops down, and if possible he goes even paler. “Oh. Oh, fuck.”
Dean looks down, sees the guy’s eyes stuck on his amulet. “What?”
“I don’t understand,” he says, biting on his lower lip. “Is this some sort of – but you’re still hunters. Is Mom alive?”
Dean flinches.
“Okay,” Dad says. “That’s enough. You walk this off or whatever, but you do it somewhere else–”
“Dad, it’s me,” he says plaintively. “It’s Sam. Your son.”
Dean doesn’t remember moving, only that the next moment his hands are fisted in the front of this asshole’s shirt, his blood thrumming under his skin. “Shut up. Shut the fuck up.”
He puts his hands on Dean’s wrists, stupid earnest and soft and Dean’s going to kick his ass. “Dean. It’s me. I have to exist in this world, right? The demon was after me, if I wasn’t here then there wouldn’t have ben a fire, Mom wouldn’t have died, you guys wouldn’t be hunters. I have to be around somewhere.”
Dean tries to shove him away, but he won’t let go of his hands. “Shut up! You don’t – don’t talk about my family.”
The worst thing he ever did, his biggest failure. Sometimes the weight of it gets to be so heavy that it feels like it should be cracking his ribs, pressing his heart until it bursts. Sometimes he wishes it would.
He swallows before letting go with one hand and reaching into his pocket to pull something out. It takes Dean a moment to see it’s his amulet, the one he’s worn since he was twelve years old, back when Bobby still talked to them. “My name is Samuel Winchester. I was named after my mother’s father. I was born on May 2, 1983. When I was eight years old, Bobby gave me this amulet. He said it was a protection charm. I was originally planning to give it to Dad for Christmas, but he didn’t show up. Another in a long line of disappointments, right? So I gave it to you instead. Because even when you’re being a jerk, you’ve never let me down.”
Dean’s eyes are burning. He tries to shake off his grip, but he won’t let go. Why is Dad just standing there? “Stop! Stop. I don’t know what game you’re playing–”
“No game,” he says, gentle voice a counterpoint to the grip that’s absolutely going to bruise. “I need you to believe me, Dean, please–”
“My brother died when he was six months old,” he cuts him off. “Samuel Winchester is dead. He’s been dead for twenty six years.”
His fault, his fault, all his fault. If he’d just listened to Dad –
“Not where I’m from,” he says, and it’s crazy, it’s all crazy. “Please. Ask me anything. I’ll prove it. Hell, let’s go to a clinic, we can take a DNA test. I’m Sam. I’m your brother. And I need your help.”
“You mentioned a demon,” Dad says quietly.
The guy, who’s not Sam, who can’t be Sam, tears his eyes away from Dean to look at Dad. “Yeah. Azazel. The yellow eyed demon.”
Dad rubs a hand over his mouth. “I never told anyone about that.”
Dean snaps his head towards Dad. “What? You said you didn’t know what killed Mom! That we were searching for it!”
“We are,” Dad says. “It never resurfaced again. I’ve been looking for the signs.”
The guy frowns. “He started up again when I was twenty two.”
“Not here,” Dad says, looking him up and down, something hungry in his eyes.
Dad believes him. Dad thinks that this is Sammy.
“Let’s discuss this back at the room,” Dad says. “Come on.”
He heads towards the door, sure that he’s going to be followed. The – Sam, maybe Sam, he rolls his eyes, but goes after him. He only stops when his grip on Dean’s wrist jerks him back, because Dean’s not moving, can’t make himself move. He flushes, letting go of Dean finally, but he takes a step closer. His eyebrows pull together in concern, and now that Dean’s looking, he sort of sees it, sees the planes of Dad’s face and his eyes in this stranger with his brother’s name. “Hey, are you okay?”
No.
“Let’s go,” he says, striding forward, shoulders hunched.
Sam falls into step beside him easily, matching his strides like it’s second nature. Dean swallows around the lump in his throat and tries to pretend it means nothing.
#zachariah dropping sam into an alternate universe where he's dead like this will solve ... something#sam earnestly trying to convince dean he's in the better universe because all sam does is ruin everything around him#he tells dean every terrible thing he would have had to endure if sam had survived the fire#all dean hears is that there's universe out there where he's not alone#supernatural
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Don’t You Want Me (Baby?) Pt 3
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Steve and Eddie are either hooking up or dating - and are about as bad at keeping a secret as they are dealing with their feelings. (Dustin POV)
1 / 2 / 3
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“I’ll be there in thirty!” Dustin said. He slammed the phone down and dashed to his room to round up his notes.
“Bye mom love you gotta go!” He shouted as he hustled out the door and jumped on his bike. Dustin had just made it out of the suburbs and into town when he spotted a familiar Maroon Beemer in the lot by the Quickie Mart.
Steve was standing beside his car in a fluorescent windbreaker, leaning on the open driver’s side door. He was staring at the bouquet of flowers in his hands like his nose was about to start bleeding.
Dustin slowed.
….He could probably spare a few minutes to see what the hell that was about.
Really, it’s been a while since Dustin made peace with the fact his curiosity would almost invariably get the best of him.
“Hey Steve!” Dustin hollared, dinging his bike bell a few times.
Steve startled, comically jerking to attention. As a thoroughbred jock, Steve could be ever so slightly air-headed at times. But that usually didn’t extend to a total lack of situational awareness.
Steve waved at Dustin as he approached.
“Why are you angry at those flowers?”
“What? I’m not - “ Steve cut himself off with a sigh. He shot the flowers another grimace. “I’m just trying to decide if I’m being a total idiot right now…”
Ah, Dustin realized. Must have pissed off Robin.
“What happened?”
“I fucked up, I think. And flowers, that’s my go-to right? That’s the move. But…” he tapped above his temple with the side of his fist - as if to dislodge the stupid. He rested it there for a second. “I can’t help but think I’m becoming totally neurotic.” He said, vaguely concerned.
“Girls like flowers.” Dustin offered a simple shrug.
“Yeah, girls do.” Steve agreed. Then sighed again, shaking his head.
Jesus, he must be gone bad.
And Dustin likes Robin. More importantly, he liked her for Steve, they were a perfect match. But most importantly of all - if Steve fucks this up, Dustin spends the next who knows how long listening to him complain about his endless strings of unfulfilling dates.
“And red roses? Can’t get more romantic than that, right?” He said, trying to sound encouraging.
“You don’t think they’re… I don’t know. Lame? Christ, what the hell am I even - I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing here.” Steve said, sounding totally defeated. He dragged a hand through his hair, displacing his artfully styled do. And too distracted to even notice? Dustin was very nearly starting to get worried. “Never mind forget it. Just, forget I said anything…”
“Who even is this guy? Your Steve.” Dustin scoffed. “Legendary lady killer of Hawkins High. Remember? You’re great at this.”
““Yeah, that’s different though. I guess... I don’t know.”
“Different how?” Dustin demanded.
“How about because this is important. That’s how!” He said.
“Ok? That’s a good thing, Steve.” Dustin said, which even to his own ears sounded just a little bit demeaning. Maybe he did need to work on his tone…
“Is it? The last time I really thought there might be something there, it was Nancy. So of course, I manage to fuck the whole thing up. Because that’s my thing I guess.” He deflated. Then quietly, as though speaking to himself, he said. “Things were going so good too… I just had to start a stupid - “
He finally looked back up at Dustin. He closed his mouth and the far away look cleared. He shook his head, like was done thinking about it right now. Or at least done talking about it because he said,
“Henderson, what are you doing running around this early anyways?”
“Pft, what are you doing running around this early? You and Eddie. I’m surprised you’re not sleeping off your… illicit activities.”
Steve made a face. “No. Don’t call it that. I - we… called it an early night last night.”
“Figures. I’m headed to Eddie’s right now.”
“Ah...” He muttered to himself. He looked down at the flowers again and his shoulders wilted. Then he chucked them into the the passenger seat.
“Woah, man, careful with those.” Dustin scolded him.
“No, it’s fine. Look, I gotta go pick up Robin soon. We have a shift together later. See you around, man.”
Dustin frowned. Why were adults so goddamn weird? Is Dustin gonna start acting like this in a few years.
“Good luck.” Dustin offered, tilting his head optimistically. Steve just waved him off, still very obviously distracted.
“Yeah, I’ll figure something out.”
Dustin watched him climb into his car. Steve would figure it out. Dustin had faith in that, at least. He could have a thick skull, but give him enough time and eventually he got it together.
Steve drove off and Dustin started pedaling again, in the opposite direction, towards the Forest Hills trailer park.
Dustin was at the trailer almost till dinner time, fine tuning what will soon be the very first one shot, nay the very first D&D session Dustin will ever orchestrate. He can’t help violently oscillating between excited and nauseous, but Eddie’s advice genuinely did provide a solid foundation to work with.
Eddie even assured Dustin he’d act just as shocked as the rest of the party, gasping during the big moments. Stuff like that - even though he knew pretty much every story beat he had planned just from helping Dustin sort it all together.
They were just packing up to leave when the phone rang.
“Shit. Give me a sec. That’s probably Wayne.”
“He’s not at work?”
“A buddie’s house. He got the weekend off.” Eddie said, picking up the receiver.
“Munson’s Mortuary Services. You got the purse, we got the hearse. Are we picking up or dropping off, cause - ” Eddie cut out mid bit. He grimaced, looking back at Dustin. “I - uh, hey. Look this really isn’t a good - “
Dustin was only really half ease dropping as he tried to order his session notes correctly. Eddie was talking quietly for the first time in his life, holding the receiving close to his mouth, which was making it kind of difficult.
“No, it’s fine… I’m serious, it’s fine. Yeah, I’m sorry too…. Well, I was being an asshole. Look this really isn’t a good time…” Eddie glanced back over his shoulder at Dustin. Dustin tried to look busy. “Just, don’t worry about it, seriously…. Yeah. Sure, talk to you later, ok?” Eddie started to move the phone away before bringing it back to his ear.
“This week? I’m not sure… Maybe. I’ve just - I got a lot of stuff going on… I’ll call you… Yeah, bye.”
Eddie hung up, hand lingering on the phone for a long moment.
“Who was that?” Dustin asked, so casually it was probably immediately suspicious.
“Funny how you think I won’t make you walk home.” Eddie said, a bone dry threat. That roughly translated to, it was definitely totally my secret girlfriend. “Pack your shit, dude. I’m calling Wayne so you better be ready to go by the time I’m done.”
It seemed like Eddie took it to heart what Dustin said about them never hanging out anymore. That week, Eddie really seemed to be making an effort to start making time for him again.
And the rest of the party of course.
On Monday, Eddie suggested Hellfire (plus Max!) hit the arcade after school. He didn’t give them any quarters, but that was fine, they had enough loose change to have a good time. They’d just need to plan ahead and bring Steve next time.
After school on Tuesday, Dustin called to see if Eddie wanted to keep working on the one shot. Which he couldn’t cause Corroded Coffin had band practice.
So instead, he invited Dustin tag along. It came with the strict stipulation he kept his mouth shut, his ass glued to the couch, and he not try to touch anything, on pain of a swift and merciless death. But Dustin’s come to understand Eddie’s threats have a lot more to do with his penchant for dramatics than any honest hostility.
Eddie was just heading out the door when Dustin called so he said he’d come grab him from his place on the way to Jeff’s.
Dustin thought for a moment about changing out of his pun-derful shirt but ended up scrapping the idea for time.
He kind of regretted it when Eddie rolled up. Music loud and looking, as always, too cool for school. Summer was still fading, so he was wearing a loose, faded Cult shirt with the sleeves cut off. He had more tattoos than Dustin realized (all of them ugly.). There was a red flannel tied round his waist and he was wearing a thin leather bracelet.
Dustin couldn’t pull off a leather bracelet in a million billion years probably.
“Little mans sitting in on practice tonight.” Eddie announced as they walked into Jared’s garage. He got a scatter of hey’s and what’s up’s.
Dutifully, Dustin belined it for the couch. He sat next to the plastic Halloween skeleton that was already sitting there posed to watch (Dustin was introduced to him as Manny).
Eddie seemed to switch into DM mode, someone had to keep the boys focused and on track.
Dustin sat still and didn’t touch anything, which was easy enough.
But come on, their music was way too awesome for a passive listening experience.
Gareth, Jared, and Jeff seemed to appreciate his enthusiasm. Still, Dustin made sure to keep distractions to a minimum. A reasonable minimum, at least.
“God, you guys are just so - “ Dustin rambled. It had gotten dark outside and they were started to pack up their gear.
“Metal?” Eddie said, winding up his guitar chord with a smile.
“Metal as hell.” Dustin agreed, standing and walking over.
“We’ll make a public menace outta you yet.” Eddie said proudly.
“You can always bring the kid around more during practice.” Jeff said to Eddie. The rest of the band nodded around and shrugged.
“Actually having a live audience every once in a while couldn’t hurt.” Gareth said, nodding his head at Manny. Him and Jeff were dragging his drum kit back into the corner of the room.
“Yeah?” Dustin asked, grinning.
“Maybe you’ll pick up a thing or two.” Eddie grinned back, shoving at him a bit and fucking up Dustin’s hair.
“You’d teach me?” Dustin asked, swatting him away. Eddie shrugged easily.
“Oh man. That’d be so cool!” He said. “Maybe next time I could bring some of the other guys? Oh, and Steve could come too!”
Jared practically choked on his instant laughter.
“The King?” He said sarcastically. “Yeah, sure - you wanna bring King Steve here, to sit on the ratty couch in my garage and listen to us thrash around and scream for a few hours?”
“I dunno, could be pretty entertaining.” Gareth elbowed Jeff, nodding down towards Eddie. He was on his knees, focusing intently on tucking his Warlock away in its hardcase. Gareth leaned in closer and whispered. “He’s getting a little too cocky with those guitar solos, don’t you think? Could use a chance to play under pressure.”
“Oh, that does sound entertaining.” Jeff snickered, just as amused by the prospect.
“Can it.” Eddie said, without looking up.
“Eddie?” Dustin insisted, looking to his DM for backup. They were talking like Steve was gonna march in here and just start heckling. Or throwing tomatoes at them or something.
“Sorry kid, they’re right. He’d probably hate it.” Eddie shrugged.
“Come on, it’ll be cool! I could at least ask? You don’t know he’ll hate it.”
“Yeah, I’m sure Steve Harrington would think our heavy metal band is so totally cool.” Jared said flatly, as he leaned over to grab the handle on his bass amp.
“Hey. I saw a Metallica tape in his car the other day!” Dustin said to Jared. Jared’s eyebrows climbed, surprised. Maybe even a little impressed, though clearly too stubborn to admit it.
Dustin turned back to Eddie. He was still expecting him to come to Steve’s defense. But he stayed quiet, barely a part of the conversation. “Come on, I thought you two were friends now.” He accused.
“Sure, Harrington’s fine.” Eddie shrugged.
“Yeah he is.” Jeff muttered under his breath. Gareth puffed up with a badly contained laugh.
Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Right, you blow us all off to go to go smoke weed with him at the drive through, but he’s just fine.”
Jared, who had been bending over to put his amp against the wall, froze in place.
“No fucking way.” Gareth’s head shot up, his eyes blown wide. But it didn’t sound like he was pissed at Eddie for crossing party lines. Not with the massive, disbelieving grin on his face. “You and Harrington? You fucking took him to a drive through?”
“What movie was it?” Jeff shot out, equally delighted.
“Was it a scary movie?” Gareth said. They both scrambled out from behind the drum set, their task wholly forgotten.
“Guys.” Eddie huffed. “Fine. Yeah, ok, we went to go see a movie - So what?”
“And you just, what!? Forgot to mention it?”
“Sure!” Eddie grimaced. He shrugged defensively. “We just - caught a movie. It’s not a big deal.”
Gareth barked out a laugh. Like that, that right there, is the funniest thing Eddie’s ever said.
“Guys.” Jared looked at Jeff and Gareth pointedly, before glancing at Dustin.
“Sorry it’s just…” Jeff paused with his mouth open, incredulous. “Didn’t know you guys hang out now.” He finished. “Ya know, outside the whole - coparenting.”
“We don’t.” Eddie said, tensely.
Dustin frowned as he watched the guys continue to stow their shit. Gareth and Jeff went back to sorting out the drums. “Not a big - “ Gareth scoffed under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief.
The rest of the boys were struggling to contain shiteating grins and Eddie was just pretending not to notice.
Dustin had never known these guys to be such… jerks. Why would it be such a big deal if Eddie and Steve were friends?
Could it really be all because they’re just so - different? The idea of hard rocker Eddie kicking back with a jock even once was just patently absurd? Ridiculous enough they jump straight to teasing him for it?
Dustin’s frown deepened. For a bunch of freaks, that all seemed pretty judgmental.
These guys would come around on Steve. Seems like Dustin would just have to make sure of it.
On Thursday Eddie agreed to pick him up from school.
He was late of course, so Will, Mike, Lucas, and Max had all started towards home by then.
When he did roll into the parking lot, it was in a sweeping wave of orchestral heavy metal.
“Pick it up.” He said impatiently, as Dustin opened the door. Eddie evil eyed the school building while he turned down the music. “Don’t like being here any longer than I need to be outside D&D hours.”
Dustin hopped in. He had a VHS copy of Jaws in his hands. He had left it behind at Lucas’ like two weeks ago and promptly forgot about it. A week later Lucas brought it to school and Dustin had only just re-unearthed it from his locker today. It was daunting just thinking of the fees that were sure to be stacking up by now.
His only salvation was Steve. Who’s thankfully working today.
“I need to drop this off at the movie store and before you say no - “
“Sure.” Eddie said, already starting the van.
“I - that was easy.” Dustin sat back and relaxed against the seat.
Eddie kept his eyes on the road and shrugged.
“I was thinking about renting something anyways.”
They drove straight to Family Video. The door dinged as they walked in.
Robin was sitting behind the counter. Still focused on her crossword she said, “Hi, welcome to Family Video, can I help you find - Oh, hey guys.”
“Hi Robin!” Dustin said, walking up to the counter.
Eddie lingered by the displays. He traced a finger over one of the tapes on the shelf. “Harrington, here?” Eddie asked, inspecting the cover.
Robin rolled her eyes but she was smiling. “You just missed him. It was seriously slow today and he won rock/paper/scissors so - he clocked out early for the day.” Eddie hummed and put his hands in his jean pockets.
Dustin handed Robin his VHS tape.
“This is eight days late.” She frowned at the computer.
“So - “ Dustin said, thinking fast to distract her from errant thoughts of late fees. “how’d you like the flowers?”
“Flowers?” Robin scrunched up her nose at him.
“The flowers Steve got you?” Dustin blurted out before he clamped his mouth shut again. She squinted at him. Suspicious.
“What are you on about?”
Shit. Steve hadn’t got those for Robin had he?
“Nevermind.” Mayday-mayday. Pull up!
Hopefully Steve wasn’t too pissed at Dustin for letting that little detail slip. And Dustin could barely feel bad for blowing Steve’s cover because, what the hell Steve?
Robin’s lip twisted. She looked down her nose at him, regarding him uncharitably. He forced a smile as she stared him down for a moment longer. Then her face cleared. Raising her eyebrows innocently she turned back to the monitor.
“So about that fee. That’ll be five fourty-“
“Ok! I - “ Dustin hesitated. Sorry Steve - that was five dollars he really did not have. “I don’t know. I ran into him a few days ago. And he’d just bought a big thing of roses.” Dustin caved, shrugging and holding his palms up defensively.
“Ooooh.” Robin’s eyes crinkled with a warm smile and her gaze slid somewhere behind Dustin shoulder. Then quickly snapped back into place.
“Oh.” Robin said again. She looked baffled, like the implications of that just hit her and clearly didn’t sit with her right.
“Maybe they were for his mom? His parents are in town aren’t they.” Dustin offered.
“You know what? Yeah, that’s probably it.” Robin nodded vigorously. The poor, love struck girl just immediately latching onto the explanation.
“Nah.” Dustin turned around to look at Eddie. He was still feigning intense interest in that copy of An American Werewolf in London. “His mom is allergic to roses.”
“That doesn’t mean he - ” Robin scrambled. “Maybe he just… forgot, or something. I mean, you know Steve. Total ditz.”
He shrugged. “That’s fine isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I mean, yeah.” Robin said cautiously. She seemed confused more than anything.
Eddie said cooly, hands still in his pockets. A perfectly neutral smile on his face. “Steve’s a free agent, right? He’s free to play the field.”
Jeez, did Eddie have to be so blunt? What ever happened to letting a girl down easy?
“Uh…” Robin said, looking between the two of them uncomfortably. Like maybe she didn’t quite know the answer to that anymore but it was also something she really didn’t want to sort out in public.
Dustin honestly felt a little bit bad for her. Sure they both always say they’re not dating, but clearly she seemed none too thrilled at the idea of Steve going around giving another girl flowers.
Dustin had hoped with the way Steve was talking the other day, he had finally got his head out of his ass and was ready to go public and make them official.
“Hey, man, I’ll meet you in the car, yeah?”
“Sure.” Dustin said.
“Eddie - “ Robin said. Eddie looked over his shoulder, lingering half way out the door. Robin glanced at Dustin. “Uh. Bye.” She finished lamely.
He smiled at her. She didn’t smile back.
Robin went back to the computer. She worked in complete silence. Suddenly the thick clack of the keyboard and the low murmur of the movie on the screen in the corner were way louder. Her brow was set like it gets when she’s stuck on a troublesome crossword.
“Sorry.” Dustin said, his face twisting up with guilt.
Robin glanced side long at him.
“I can talk to him you know.” He said.
“Huh?”
“I can talk to Steve. He shouldn’t do that to you.”
“Jesus, for the last time. We - are not - dating.” Robin said through gritted teeth. She made a frustrated noise. “Do you have to be so… ergh, meddlesome.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” He lied, taking a step back.
“You need to stay out of your friends love lives.”
Yeah well, how about Dustin stops meddling when his friends stop being so dumb about everything. Till then they’ll just have Dustin to thank for sorting out their messes.
Tag List : @reading-archieves @homoerotictangerine @bingbongsupremacy @aroseandherthorns-blog1 @wheneverfeasible @travelingtwentysomething @ineffable-monster-romancer @laughingphantoms @gregre369 @rawrx3ky-txt @thespaceantwhowrites @blcksh33p1987
@the-legal-shipper @maverickricky @i-amthepizzaman @pretend-theres-a-name-here @steddiefication @that-one-gay-crow @gleek4twd
@theintrovertedintrovert @tinyplanet95 @queercrisis2003 @awkwardgravity1 @stripey82
@sofadofax @midnightskeeper
@blurryjoji @estrellami-1 @caraspud @little-trash-ghost @finalmoondragon
@samsoble @depressed-freak13
#steddie#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#steddie ficlet#stranger things#dustin henderson#god I love Dustin. what a troublesome bastard#just bamboozled it all up huh?#also just like for clarity. No i Do Not think Steve is dumb#unfortunately Dustin’s fatal flaw he much learn to overcome in this story is#much like Odysseus before him#hubris. so he thinks literally everyone is a little bit dumb it’s called characterization look it up sweaty#also pls accept my humble offering of Personal Corroded Coffin Group Dynamic Headcanon#because I’m friend w a bunch of boys Eddie’s age and whenever I read stories w/ CC they’re not loud enough#and like. of course. of course their gonna tease Eddie about his dumb hate crush on Steve he’s had since literally forever#my headcanon is Steve was regularly brought up by the CC boys because it was the ONE THINGs#like since waaay before Eddie started hanging around the party#and it’s only gotten 10000009% worse since him and Steve started coparenting#god they’re so annoying#and I love them so much 😭
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NNN day 21 | Uninvited Judgements
summary: you were invited to a party by one of your friends, of course you brought Matt, your boyfriend along despite him being slightly younger, everything was going by smoothly and everyone was having great fun until you went out to the bathroom and when you came back you saw your drunken friends surrounding Matt, not suggesting anything good by their loud laughter…
warnings: ANGST, heavy language, arguing, party setting, drunk guests, bullying, age discrimination, age gap, all of the drinking characters are of age please drink responsibly and be aware of the possible consequences! & possibly more
authors note: nnn is soon coming to an end and the Christmas season will start which means… more Christmas fics! (And more smut) I am already feeling the spirit and love this season so much, also sorry for not posting this fic when I was supposed to but something personal happened and I couldn’t finish it that day and I hope y’all understand , but anyway luv y’all sm and hope y’all enjoy this one
The music bounced through the walls of the small apartment, a vibrant background to the laughter and conversation that filled the air. Matt adjusted the collar of his shirt, visibly feeling a little self-conscious under his excitement. He was still getting used to being around my friends, most of them were several years older than him. We had been dating for a few months now and while I loved spending time with him, he couldn’t shake the feeling he was still trying to prove himself.
I took his hand and squeezing it gently. “I’ll just be gone a minute,” I said, leaning in to kiss him softly. “Just need to use the bathroom. You okay to hang out here?” “Yeah, I’m good,” he replied, forcing a smile. “I’ll grab a soda or something.” As I slipped away into the crowded bathroom, Matt leaned against the counter and glanced around. Most of the partygoers were off in groups, cups in hand and laughter mixing with the music. He was about to reach for a drink when he noticed a couple of my friends gathering near him, their faces flushed and attitude high from the alcohol they have consumed.
“Look who it is!” one of my friends Mary slurred, her eyes shining with mischief. “Little Matt. What’s he doing here all by himself? Waiting for his mom to pick him up?” Matt felt heat rush to his cheeks, an uncomfortable mix of embarrassment and irritation. “I’m fine,” he muttered, trying to brush off the comments but the lack of a reaction from him it only encouraged the others. “Oh come on!” another friend chimed in with her laughter ringing loud. “You’re dating a woman who could practically be your aunt! What is she like, 25?” The group burst into drunk giggles, clearly enjoying the show of the younger guy, considering him as an easy target.
Matt clenched his fists at his sides, feeling a swirl of emotions and his gut twisted in upset. The teasing only got worse, the insults sharper, the references to our age gap digging deeper until he just couldn’t stand it anymore. “I’m not a kid for gods sake,” he shot back but his voice barely cut through the intense crowd. Their laughter only grew louder, cutting off his words. When I finally returned with a bright smile lighting my face while Matt was the opposite, livid and his skin prickling with anger. I noticed the tension immediately as I maneuvered through the crowd toward him.
“Everything okay?” I asked concerned looking from him to my drunken friends who had just finished their turn of jokes. “They think it’s hilarious that I’m younger,” he said, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice. “Why do you even hang out with people who think it’s okay to make fun of someone like that?” I looked caught off guard while blinking rapidly. “I don’t think they meant anything by it, Matt. They were drunk and you know how that goes. They joke around, they don’t always know where to draw the line.” “A line?” he snapped and frustration spilling out of his expression. “It feels fucking disrespectful to make jokes about someone’s age! Like I’m some boy toy you’re just playing around with. Do you think I like being the center of their jokes?”
“Matt, just chill out for a second,” I ushed, raising your hands for him to calm down. “You know they didn’t mean for it to hurt you. It’s just banter! They were drunk—” “No, it’s not just banter!” he raised his voice louder than he intended. “It’s condescending and you’re just brushing it off like it doesn’t matter!” I felt my heart racing, a mixture of anger and hurt beginning to swirl in my veins “You’re making a huge deal out of this. They’re not bad people, they were having a good time! You can’t just get upset over everything people say when they’re drinking!” “It’s not ‘everything’! It’s just this! Ugh!” he exclaims, frustration lacing every syllable that left past his mouth. “Sometimes I feel like you don’t even see how it affects me. You just make excuses for them.” With that, one of my friends—a guy named Jake who had been listening nearby—snorted. “Who knew Matt had such thin skin? Can’t handle a little fun?”
Matt’s gaze flicked toward Jake, becoming stiff in his stance. “And you’re an ass.” “That’s rich, coming from someone who’s basically a kid,” Jake retorted and shaking his head. “Matt, just ignore him,” I pleaded but he was too far gone now. “No, fuck this…” he muttered, stepping away from the group who had been laughing at his expense. He turned to me with his eyes blazing. “I’m not playing this game. I’m not gonna sit here and take your friends’ bullshit. I’m done.” Before I could get a single word out past my lips, Matt turned on his heel and moved toward the exit, the door slamming behind him. The sound echoed in the now silent apartment as everyone exchanged glances, the party suddenly feeling much less exciting.
I tried to process what had just happened, a storm of emotions swirling inside of me. My friends still buzzing from the drinks, didn’t have the capacity to understand. They were just drunk and careless. But Matt? His feelings were painfully real and visible for anyone and my heart sank knowing I would have to find him and somehow make sense of this mess my drunk friends have put me in now.
@hearts4werka |
𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 🏷️ | @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknott - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - @sturniolosiphone - @sophand4n4 - @zombiesturniolo - @luvleyangeldust |
#✰ ! 𝐕��𝐬 𝐍𝐨 𝐍𝐮𝐭 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 ! ✰#✰ ! 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 🦈 ! ✰#✰ 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 ✰#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo angst#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#sturniolo angst#angst#party#crowded room#swearing#drinking#alcohol consumption#age difference
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A little fix it fic cause the Zaun family deserved a better ending. Also, I just realized, this is my first Arcane fanfic, so I hope y’all like it!
Not Over Yet
“Is that singing I hear?” Caitlyn’s voice pulled Vi away from the fire for a moment. Despite the teasing smile, she still tried to covertly look at the plate on the table beside her partner. The sandwich was half eaten this time. That was at least some progress.
“Oh, yeah. It’s just this..silly little song my mom used to sing to me and Jinx when we were little.” Vi laughed under her breath. It was still a little strange calling her sister that.
“Before she…you know.” Vi looked back at the fire and shrugged, and she could see Caitlyn nodding slightly. The fire was a welcome distraction, but it still put her on edge. It reminded her too much of Vander dy-…of the accident. She swore she could see all their faces in the flames if she looked hard enough. All those she lost…or maybe she was just starting to see things too. Was this how Jinx felt all those years? That weird sense of…of emptiness while never being alone? Like some ghost was always watching over her shoulder?
Well, it wasn’t like she could ask her now.
“How did the service go?” Caitlyn wrapped an arm around Vi and leaned her head on her shoulder.
“Alright.” Vi shrugged again, unable to pull her face away from the flames, “I don’t know how I didn’t break down by the time it was my turn to get up there and spew sappy shit.”
Caitlyn chuckled, a dry and bittersweet sound.
“I think little man’s taking it pretty hard. He couldn’t even look me in the eye.” Vi recalled.
Caitlyn’s brow furrowed for a moment as she took in Vi’s words, trying to think of anything that would provide some comfort, “…I think Ekko just needs a bit of time. We all grieve in different ways.”
“Oh yeah, cupcake, some people go crazy, and other people decide to play dictator and declare martial law.” Vi remarked with a playful glare. Caitlyn huffed affectionately and flicked a strand of Vi’s hair, which in turn made Vi chuckle.
But then as soon as the happiness came, it vanished. It was so hard to be happy these days, with all that had happened.
“Have, uh…have the reports come back yet?” Vi asked cautiously.
Caitlyn’s eyes softened in sadness as she leaned forward to kiss Vi’s cheek, “Still no signs of any remains in the Hexgates. Only the bomb shrapnels we were able to initially recover.”
Vi’s jaw clenched ever so slightly and her eyes hardened for a moment. Damn it all, three times and they still couldn’t find any sign of her family??? Weren’t Enforcers supposed to be good at sticking their nose in stuff like this?
“However, I was looking at the schematics of the Hexgates, and…” Caitlyn let herself trail off as she dropped a piece of paper into Vi’s lap.
Vi’s eyes narrowed as she looked it over, some of it made sense but some of it was just nonsense, “Cupcake, what the hell is this?”
“If you and I know anything about your sister, it’s that she’s always two steps ahead.” Caitlyn pointed out, “The Hexgates have plenty of air ducts that she could’ve used as an escape route and we’d be nonethewiser.”
Vi’s eyes widened as Caitlyn’s implication hung in the air. So Jinx and Vander could be…her family really could be…
“If she’s alive she’ll turn up sooner or later. But we have a lot of work to do until that happens. For Piltover and for Zaun.” Caitlyn spoke softly, a gentle determination in her voice. Vi was helpless to the smirk that appeared on one side of her mouth. There she was, there was the Cupcake she knew.
“…Are you still in this fight, Violet?” Caitlyn couldn’t help but ask. At her question, a fond huff escaped Vi. She turned to look at her partner with a smile as she interlaced their fingers together.
“I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake.” She declared, “Nothing’s gonna clean me out.”
Caitlyn’s eyes sparkled with love, and then she smirked playfully, “That’s Sheriff Cupcake you you, creampuff.”
The couple shared another laugh as their forehead gently pressed together. For a moment, the world fell away…it was just them.
“…could you teach me that song?” Caitlyn asked.
Vi blinked in surprise, and then nodded, “Yeah sure.”
Then she began to sing, “Dear friend, across the river…my hands…are cold and bare…”
~~~~
“Dear friend, across the river, I’ll take…what you can spare…”
Jinx alternated between humming and singing as she steered the airship, just staring out at the horizon before her. She wasn’t even sure how far away from Piltover they were now.
A familiar little shove pulled her attention away however.
“Heyy, do not distract the driver.” Jinx scolded, though her tone betrayed that she wasn’t actually that serious. Not that she ever was.
Janna above, Jinx was more grateful than ever for that mischievous that little smile now. If Ekko hadn’t saved Isha, then, well…
Jinx thought it best not to dwell on that. Or else Mylo might start up again and the last thing she needed was his smart mouth. Either way, she owed Ekko a solid for it. And of course, for helping her steal an airship.
Isha giggled and hugged Jinx, but still made a bit of a stink face as she saw Jinx’s hair.
“What, you don’t like my new haircut?” Jinx teased, and rolled her eyes fondly when Isha shook her head.
“Ah, you’re just mad cause you can’t play jumprope with my braids for a while.” Jinx reached out and gently pushed Isha’s helmet to cover her eyes for a moment. Isha giggled again as she pushed her helmet back up. Jinx stepped back and let Isha take the wheel.
“Sooo, what next Fishbones?” Jinx pulled her shark rocket launcher out.
“We’ll do our laundry, wash the dishes, pay some bills, and get Isha into a good school!” Fishbones ‘spoke’ sounding rather excited about such mundane activities. Isha looked excited too as she steered, while Jinx looked incredibly annoyed.
“Stupid dumb rocket launcher.” She muttered, giving Fishbones a firm smack. At the sound, a rough old growl was heard a few feet away. Neither Jinx nor Isha flinched, they were used to that sound by now.
“Hey, don’t worry, Vander.” Jinx set the rocket launched down and sat beside her adopted father, “We’ll find another way. We always do. In the meantime, Vi can relax a little playing housewife to the Hat Lady.”
Isha pulled a lever near the steering wheel of the airship and moved over to sit next to Jinx and Vander. After she was settled all snug and cozy in Vander’s fur, she signed at Jinx.
“Oh, you want me to keep singing, huh? Mmmm…well alright.” Jinx agreed.
“You still haven’t mentioned where exactly you plan on going.” Silco’s voice could be heard, his hallucination lingering in the shadows by Mylo and Claggor.
Jinx smiled and shrugged in acknowledgement. She still hadn’t quite figured that part out yet. For now, the top priorities were keeping Isha safe, and getting Vander’s mind back.
This time, Jinx chose to ignore Silco for once as she sang, “We raise…no mighty towers, our homes…are built of stone, so come…across the river, and find…the world below…”
#arcane#arcane season 2#lol#league of legends#arcane spoilers#nerd talks#fanfic#fanfiction#vi#caitlyn kiramman#jinx#isha#vander#warwick#silco
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Liam and His Ickey
Set around s5 I guess
In the show, Liam doesn't really talk until he's older so he doesn't really say much here
4 +1
///
“Carl, don’t shovel it in like that, you’re going to burn your mouth,” Fiona frowns in disapproval. She’s made a big batch of potato soup for dinner, and honestly, it’s really fucking good. Mickey’s not used to home cooked meals. Him and his siblings are either eating what little is around the house or whatever they manage to steal.
“I’m hungry,” Carl says in between mouthfuls.
“Jesus,” Ian mutters.
It’s mostly quiet around the table. Debbie chatters about school and fucking Lip adds in a thing or two about his own life that Mickey couldn’t find it in himself to give two shits about.
Even so, it’s kind of...nice he supposes, to sit around the table like this. Fuckin’ weird, but he’s never really had this. Back when his mom was around, they never ate together. She was always sprawled out on the couch, passed out and intoxicated.
Ian’s fingertips leave a ghostly trail on his leg. The electric current shoots up Mickey, leaves him tingling, and he flushes, hoping nobody else notices.
“Mmm,” Liam says suddenly. He looks up at Fiona with a toothy grin, soup around his mouth. “Mmm.”
She laughs. “It’s good, huh?”
He nods and mmms, again.
“Well, at least I have Liam’s approval,” she says to the rest of them humorously.
“He’s just trying to get on your good side,” Ian teases, “so you don’t give him a bath.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Fiona groans. “I think it’s my turn.”
“Glad it’s not mine,” Debbie says. “I hate doing it now. He splashes too much.”
“I don’t mind,” Carl pipes up now that he’s almost done with his bowl. “He makes it look like a waterpark in there.”
“Yeah, that’s just what we need,” Fiona deadpans.
Lip wipes his mouth, takes a drink of his beer. “I think Mickey should have a turn,” he says, and Ian and Mickey’s head swivel in his direction. “It’s only fair now that he’s living here.”
Fuckin’ asshole. Mickey glares at him.
“No fucking way.”
“Come on, Mick,” Lip must have a fucking death wish. “Haven’t you bathed a kid before?”
“Lip,” Ian says warningly.
“What? I’m just saying. We always rotate the chores.”
“Mickey helps out around here,” Ian says firmly. Yeah, he fucking does. Doin’ the laundry, the dishes and other shit. He never did any of that at home. “If he doesn’t want to bathe Liam, he doesn’t have to.”
“Ian’s right,” Fiona agrees. Huh, Mickey takes a second to blink. “He doesn’t have to.”
“Okay, okay,” Lip grumbles, holding his hands up in surrounder. “It was just a suggestion.”
“Yeah, a stupid ass one,” Mickey interjects. Lip rolls his eyes.
Silence falls over them again. Their spoons clink against the bowls, chairs creaking whenever someone shifts.
“Ickey,” Liam pipes up again. All heads turn his way, expressions flicker with confusion.
“What did he say?’ Ian asks.
“Ickey,” Liam repeats.
“He said Ickey...” Debbie furrows her brow. “Is he trying to say Mickey?”
“Ickey,” Liam emphasizes. This brings forth a laugh from Fiona and Ian.
“It’s fitting,” Lip quips. Mickey scowls.
“What the fuck ever.” He digs into his bowl, taking a large scoop and ignoring them all.
Fucking assholes.
*
Mckey thinks it’s a one and done kinda thing. For a while, Liam doesn’t say it again, and the others make a few jokes for a couple of days before they move on to something else.
Of fucking course it isn’t that simple. Liam waits for the perfect opportunity to strike. He’s a fucking sadist, Mickey’s sure.
Today, Colin and Iggy drop by. His brothers are starting to be around more since Mickey came out. It’s uncomfortable as fuck, even though Ian beams like it’s the most fucking precious thing he’s ever seen.
His boyfriend really is gay as hell.
“What do you fuckheads want?” Mickey demands, His words don’t have as much heat to them, not really, it’s just how he talks.
Iggy tosses a plastic bag his way. “He’s more of your clothes, Stupid.”
“What brought what we could,” Colin shrugs. “Terry burned most of it.”
“Asshole,” Mickey mutters.
Iggy nods a little too enthusiastically. “Shoulda seen it. He made a huge fire pit in the backyard.”
“Whoop de fucking doo.”
He’s pretty sure both his brothers are complete idiots, because Colin glances around, not even trying to be subtle here. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
There’s this change to his tone at the word boyfriend, like it’s this strange new thing for him to grasp. Mickey supposes in a way it is.
“None of your damn business, that’s where,” he retorts.
“Cool it, Mick,” Colin rolls his eyes. “I’m just askin’.”
“He’s just protectin’ his boy, ain’t that right?” Iggy grins.
“Do you wanna fucking die?”
He staggers back when Colin uses the palm of his hand to push his chest.
“You forget that we changed your diapers,” his older brother snorts. “We’re not scared of you.”
Iggy nudges Colin. “Remember when he used to get mad if he thought we didn’t hug him enough before bed.”
“I never did that!” Mickey snaps, his ears going pink.
“God,” Colin shakes his head. “He used to throw the worst tantrums. Worse than Mandy ever did.”
He doesn’t need any of that information to get back to the ears of any Gallagher. “If you don’t have anything else for me then get the fuck out,” Mickey orders.
“Aw, Mick-”
“We were just messing around, dumbass.”
“I don’t give a shit,” Mickey folds his arms.
At that moment, they all hear thudding coming down the stairs. Mickey assumes it’s Carl until he turns to find Liam all dressed in his pajamas.
“Liam, come on. It’s time for bed,” Fiona’s voice is getting closer. Kid musta ran right outta the bathroom.
Unfortunately, he has really bad timing. He spots Mickey, beams and says,
“Ickey!”
Fuck, Mickey sulks while his brothers crack up laughing.
“Did he just call you Ickey?” Colin howls.
Iggy is laughing so hard he leans against Colin for support. Liam giggles too, even though he probably doesn’t know what’s so funny.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Mickey sneers. “It’s real fucking funny.”
*
“Ickey.”
“Mickey,” he enunciates slowly. “Quit forgetting the M, kid.”
They’re sitting at the kitchen table where it all started, just him and Liam. Ian comes down the stairs, shooting Mickey this shit-eating grin. He comes over to the cabinet to get himself a glass, filling it with kool aid.
“How’s the spelling lesson going?” He asks lightly, taking a seat beside him.
“Fuck off.”
Liam just doesn’t listen no matter how many times he tries. Mickey thinks it’s a Gallagher trait.
“Mickey,” he repeats.
“Ickey,” Liam says solemnly.
Ian snorts. Mickey contemplates strangling him.
“It’s not Ickey,” Mickey says through grit teeth. “It’s Mickey.”
Liam does not agree. “Ickey!” He exclaims defiantly because that’s all these Gallaghers knew how to do.
“No!” Mickey barks.
“Has anyone ever said you’d be a good teacher?” Ian says.
Fuckin’ Gallaghers.
“I’m never touching your dick again if you don’t shut the fuck up,” Mickey threatens.
“You make a really compelling argument,” Ian says, not at all sincere.
Remind him again why he chose this dumbass?
“You know, if you keep bringing attention to it, he’ll keep doing it,” Ian continues. “Just ignore it.”
“No,” Mickey shakes his head. “Cuz he’ll think he’s won and he didn’t win.”
“He’s three, Mickey.”
“So what? You think your ginger ass wasn’t annoying at his age?”
“You didn’t know me at three,” Ian says, amused.
“Don’t have to know you. You’ve always been fucking annoying,” Mickey says. “Nah, I ain't gonna acknowledge it unless he says it right.”
Ian rolls his eyes. “Seriously?”
“Seriously, Firecrotch.”
“You’re at war with a three year old, you know that right?”
Mickey ignores that. He knows he can win this. He ain’t gonna be outsmarted by a damn kid.
It goes quiet. Liam loses interest in the conversation so he goes to color in the living room. Mickey accepts a beer that Ian offers him, and they just sorta sit there, close and enjoying that the house isn’t currently being overrun with a million Gallagher brats.
Few minutes or so pass when Mickey feels a tug on his jeans.
Liam has a picture he wants to show him. “Ickey, look!”
So he deliberately turns away.
“Oh my God,” Ian mutters.
“Ickey,” Liam repeats. He frowns when Mickey doesn’t respond in any way. “Ickey!”
“Seriously?” Ian sighs.
“Ickey!” Liam starts to poke him incessantly. Mickey takes a deep breath. He won’t let himself be bothered.
Except it does bother him.
Poke, poke, poke.
“Ickey, Ickey, Ickey-”
“What?” Mickey explodes, whirling around in the chair to face him. His outburst startles Ian a bit but Liam is unfazed. He’s grinning and holds up the drawing.
“Look!”
Ian stands up, bringing the cup to his lips as he passes by to put it in the sink. “I guess Liam won,” he comments nonchalantly.
*
Now he’s not just goin’ around calling him Ickey. He’s been sayin’ My Ickey too.
“My Ickey,” he’ll say at random times, just pointing to him.
Maybe it’s because they’re around each other a lot. Him and Gallagher stay at the house whenever Mickey’s not working while Ian tries to get adjusted to these new meds. So he sees them two more than anybody else.
Ian says Mickey is partly to blame, he shouldn’t be saying, “No!” whenever the kid says it because it’s just encouraging him.
What the fuck ever.
Like now, while they’re trying to watch TV, Liam decides he should be the one in the middle.
“My Ickey,” he says to them seriously.
“You wanna sit next to Mickey?” Ian grins. Liam nods.
“Too fucking bad,” Mickey says blandly. “Stay there, Red.”
“He’s just a little kid, Mick-”
“So what?”
Liam becomes impatient from a lack of action. He pushes his way onto the couch, trying to separate them. Ian laughs and scoots over. Mickey wishes he wouldn’t. He’ll fucking murder somebody if they knew but he liked having his redhead right there with him.
Once there, Liam leans into Mickey, hugging his arm. “My Ickey,” he says, strangely firm for a kid.
“I think I have competition,” Ian snickers.
“Ay, Kid,” Mickey tries shaking his arm but Liam has a good grip on it. “Let go.”
Liam ignores him.
“Face it, Mickey,” Ian says cheerfully. “You’ve won the hearts of two Gallaghers. How’s that feel?”
“Fuckin’ great,” Mickey deadpans, although there might be some part of him that warms ever so slightly. It’s not like he’s used to people seeking him out other than Ian.
That warmth floods him from head to toe when Laim squirms his way into his lap, his head against Mickey’s chest. He’s pretty sure Ian’s giving them those heart eyes right now.
Whatever. This Ickey shit still has to go.
*
He’s trying to sleep. He’s nearly there when he feels a tug on his shirt.
“Wha-” he mutters sleepily.
Liam’s beside the bed, clenching a stuffed bear that’s seen better days.
Ian’s sleeping soundly as is Carl. Mickey sits up slowly so he won’t wake his boyfriend. “What’s up, Kid?” He yawns.
“Ickey,” he chews on his lips. From the moonlight, he can see tears in Liam’s brown eyes.
“You have a nightmare?” Mickey says, hushed.
Liam nods.
“Fine. Go on,” Mickey jerks his head towards the bed Liam’s using, the one that Carl used to sleep in back when Lip was here.
The kid climbs onto the bed and Mickey follows. Liam’s been having a lot of nightmares recently, and with no one else up at this hour to tend to him, that falls on Mickey.
“What happened this time?” Mickey whispers.
“Monster,” Liam sniffles.
“Ay, it’s okay,” Mickey pulls the blanket up so it’s covering Liam again. “There ain't no monsters here. No unless you count that goofy ass red giant over there.”
His words do little to comfort the kid.
Come on, work with me here, he thinks.
“Look,” Mickey says, “even if there were monsters, we wouldn’t let ‘em get to you, alright? We’d let ‘em eat Lip if we had to.”
This makes Liam giggle. It makes Mickey start to smile unconsciously.
“You good now? Think you can go to sleep?”
Liam considers this, and nods.
“Good.” Mickey doesn't kiss him goodnight or anything, he just starts to get off the bed when Liam throws his tiny arms around his neck to hug him.
“My Ickey,” he whispers.
Mickey sighs, a smile emerging against his will. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, for once not at all annoyed like he should be. “Your Ickey.”
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Eddie and Brad bond over Brad having an estranged son. He tells Eddie the longer he stayed away the bigger the distance got and it’s his biggest regret. So Eddie decides to go to Texas to be with Chris and convince him to come back home. Buck and Eddie maybe fight about it, Buck offers to go but Eddie says no I gotta do this on my own. We get a parallel to Buck and Abby at the airport with Buck and Eddie and Buck is like you got this. Get your son back. I’ll be here waiting. Buck gets a feelings realization but doesn’t act on it and lets Eddie go.
So with 8x09 being the episode when we come back, it’s actually a flashback to what happened when Eddie went to Texas (which is why it was already filmed because it was supposed to take place right after 8x08.) Basically while Eddie is in Texas he talks with Chris and Chris is like I don’t want another mom ever. I don’t want you dating ever. No one can replace mom. All I need is you and Buck. And Eddie’s like well damn there goes my love life. But while he’s in Texas Buck keeps being brought up by Chris maybe even the parents like “yeah he sure talks about Buck a lot. You’re really lucky to have a best friend that treats Chris like his own.” And basically stuff starts clicking for eddie. Like oh Chris doesn’t want another mom. And he said Buck is enough. So wheels start turning for Eddie maybe he even talks to his dad about it. So basically while he’s in Texas for these few months he realizes his feelings for Buck. He tells Chris and Chris is like well duh. And Chris is probably estatic like thank god I never have to see you with a woman again. So then at the end of the episode he decides he’s going to go back to LA alone and tell Buck how he feels while Chris finishes the school year in Texas and then Chris will come back when it’s over.
So we think yay Buddie canon Eddie is gonna tell Buck how he feels and they’re gonna be in love right? However when 8x10 starts and Eddie comes back, Buck has been #LetBuckFucking all over town while Eddie was gone so when Eddie comes back to tell Buck how he feels he finds Buck either going on dates or on a date or talking about dates etc so Eddie is like wtf and then bottles it in and doesn’t tell him. Typical case of wrong timing like for Ross/Rachel and Jim/Pam etc. So now we know Eddie is pining. This will go on for a couple of episodes which is when we get the great Buddie fight of mostly Eddie’s secret feelings coming to a peak because of Buck fucking around town and Eddie can’t take it anymore and it leads to Eddie yelling “YOU SAID YOU WOULD WAIT FOR ME!” And Buck is like ??? That’s when they’re both arguing and Buck is like why are you so upset and eddie is like “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” And Buck is too stunned to speak bc he thought Eddie was never really an option and so he’s just like “…you love me?” And Eddie’s out of breath like “…yeah.”
#911 theories#911 theory#buddie canon season 8#buddie canon#911 buddie#911 on abc#911 season 8#buck and eddie#buck x eddie#buck/eddie#eddie diaz#buddie 911#buck eddie#eddie and buck#evan buckley#buck buckley
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i dont wanna spam yall, so ive decided to only reblog this when i have a lot of things to say. lmao this sat in my draft from the second i posted that last update, here's more.
FUCK I CLOSED THE TAB AND I GOT THE POP UP but find the quote from his coach about how his personality would make him hate being treated differently. CAN SOMEONE WITH AN ATHLETIC/NYT SUBSCRIPTION PLEASE FIND THIS QUOTE FOR ME.
and connors quote "is butternut squash a nut"
and prev tags "#he's allergic to peanuts and tree nuts #like severly allergic how does he eat at “health” restaurants??" it's interesting that you bring up "health restaurants", because that's the only place he eats, he has NEVER eaten fast food¹..... and yeah, 'healthy' resos are FILLED with nuts, he had an allergic reaction and went to the hospital the night before what should have been the finals in 2020 at age 14, and the next day, dispite being in the hospital the night prior.... he laced up, and he was going to play..... AND THEN HOCKEY CANADA ANNOUNCED THAT ALL JR HOCKEY WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE OF COVID, oh yeah and not only had he never eaten fast food but "people close to him aren't sure he's ever had a cookie"
and like what i said a few reblogs ago, connor and his family temporarily moved to sweden so he could continue training during covid. why do i bring this up again, because when he was at the north american players media tour back in september one of the videos they recorded was for nhl europe and they asked the players to read phrases and words in different languages..... and they didnt put connor in the swedish video!!!! and he was there!!! he was even in videos for the other languages and they filmed them all at the same time..... I WANT TO SEE HIM FAIL AT SPEAKING SWEDISH!!!!!!
There's an entire PROCEDURE for requesting signed sticks and shit from him, that's how many requests for them there have been, the only people who don't need to deal with the middlemen are fellow players. Brady Tkachuk asked Connor to sign a stick for a charity event their last game (the one on the 17th of february) and he did indeed sign one for Brady. (source, i am listening to the radio broadcast of the sens chicago game from the 28th of march)
this next quote gets me GOOD, like oh my GOD!!!!
she [connor's mother] says, if you were billeting with someone right now that’s what they would say, Connor. They’d say, who raised him? And it’s my job as a mother to prepare you. And one of the best 17-year-old hockey players we have ever seen says to his mother, completely seriously, “Don’t feel bad, mom. Madi turned out great.” May 5th 2023
connor please i am BEGGING YOU, you turned out amazing.
i think this is all the things i have from last season, i'm gonna make a new reblog for things from this seaon, but it'll be a while until i'm ready to post it.
¹ as of november 2024, we have confirmation that connor has eaten at TWO fast food restaurants, but its subway and chipotle so... barely counts.
what the tabs look like, of a normal girl, who is doing normal things, and is not thinking too hard about 'gifted' kids and the downfall of an adulthood no one prepared you for
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pls excuse me while I cry bc my silly body decided to betray me and nearly pass out yesterday and now I cannot go to the yoongi concert
#tw: sickness#i was literally just on a thirty minute walk#and my lungs decided to yeet themselves out of the conversation like cool#my mom was like yeah no don’t even think about going#not this being the second time I’ve gotten tickets to see bts and I can’t go#maybe it’s just not meant to be 🥹#heart been broke so many times 💔#isi rambles
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one time my mom was talking about something, I don’t remember what, and she said “have you ever known the poverty of having nothing to say?” and when I say nothing has ever punctured my heart quite like that statement
#I don’t even fully know why. also I don’t think she even meant it how I took it#but there is just some part of me that does believe that that is the greatest poverty#when there are no words in your mind or heart. no phrases—nothing to rely on or fall back on#and you just have to struggle with the human condition and be able to express none of it#and I know that not everyone uses words like I do or relies on them that way but people need some words. they need something#this is why a) I never make fun of those Instagram accounts that are all cheesy inspirational quotes or whatever because people are trying#they are REACHING#also b) that’s why villains who are wordlessly violently destructive make me cry#because it’s just like—-yeah I can understand turning to violence if I didn’t have expression#if I couldn’t get anything out#also also this is not related but I watched some movie or tv show the other day (and I cannot for the life of me remember which one it was)#but there was this couple on a date and the girl asks him to complete all these proverbs after she gives him the first half#because ‘a man who knows his proverbs can’t be all bad’ and it shook. Me. To. My. CORE.#also also!! this is why I teach! it’s the heart of it for me!! And why I make them memorize poetry. like.#and put quotes on the board every day. like. You will have words and images in your mind and your heart from my class if I have anything#to say about it#anyway sometimes my mom says things and casually devastates me#and I think (I think) she was just talking about the poverty of having no news because nothing is going on#and so you have nothing to share with someone. and she was talking about my Grandma and how sometimes she was just so sullen and quiet#but it’s just because there was nothing to say#anyway anyway anyway that is also why the one time on the phone my grandma said who has known the mind of the Lord —shook me so much#because she never really said anything. words were not her thing and she never quoted anything#and suddenly her saying this line of scripture that said more than any words I’d ever said —one of the defining moments of my life#tbh. anyway this is very long I’m sorry. I have woken up this morning crying about this. idk.
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.
#vent in tags#chat sesh with iris#vent#tw vent#I feel like everyone hates me and even you all hope I die and nobody likes my ships bc everyone thinks I’m not good enough for my f/os#and the worst part is that none of it is unfounded!!!#none of my friends are talking to me AT ALL anymore even when I start conversations#(including in text)#while they actively talk to other people WHERE I CAN SEE IT!!!#only one of my friends is and all they do is send me anti bs and go ‘omggg these people are so weird!!!’ about like anyone who ships with-#certain characters (including ones that I SHIP WITH!!! which is why I don’t talk about it other than here)#people are like ‘omggg… I hate it when men like these characters. you don’t get them and they’d never love you.’ about my f/os#which triggers dysphoria and self loathing and fear about my ships#tw suicidal ideation#<- somewhat#I don’t like anything about myself and I don’t deserve anything that I have#man. I don’t even want to be here anymore#also I have severe mental illness that has caused a lack of possibility for happiness that lasts longer than fleeting moments#I have not spoken (like aloud) to anyone other than my parents since THE THIRD!!!#I’m going to ask my psychiatrist for testosterone on Wednesday but idek if I’m gonna make it until then#probably I will because I’m too depressed to gather the energy to do it#also she might even say no or not be able to prescribe it#and this isn’t even why I’m the most upset rn but I REALLY need a win#also my mom was like ‘you haven’t given me another name so I’ll just keep calling you the name I gave you 😊😊😊.’ instead of. idk. asking me?#tw suicide#okay yeah the tag is fully warranted now#I like know how I’d do it and everything#I also had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my quilt hashtag just autism things!!!#not takeover#obviously
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so are we just going to keep ignoring how blond people don’t fucking exist
#okay i actually don’t know if this is 100% true#bc the friend who shared this info doesn’t even have blonde hair#nor does anyone in their family#but i do have white people in my family and it’s quite suspicious that my mom dyes her hair#she insists it’s to keep the gray out but now i’m not so sure…#we didn’t go to hs v many white ppl but now that im in college that has changed so not to sound like a creeper#but i have been paying more attention#oh important clarification when i saw blond i mean BLOND. like kinda white/very much yellow#my friend said the pigmentation goes away as u age so ppl w hair color like that when they’re older are prob dyeing it#which does match up w my observations#bc so many of the “blond” ppl i see have dark roots#also i know i can just look this up but i dont really care that much#but yeah. tumblr said there was like a week gap between my last few posts but i don’t think it’s been *that* long#so i’m gonna round down and say that i get to make 4 more rant posts without feeling bad about it#sorry everyone#and blond ppl
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.
#we go back to campus a week early for mac. to be clear#and god they’ll be long days and they’ll be physically emotionally and mentally draining and i genuinely dont know if i can take that#but i am also going to be missing SO much time. and i won’t be there to support the people who i need to#i have also. been thinking a lot about how i’m scared that i think so much abt death bc i’m gonna be one of those people#who seem even more than everyone else like they have a finite time and then they die young#and then my mom compared me to jonathan larson tonight#so maybe that’s some sort of sign that i need to slow the fuck down#i am crying rn. for myself. which happens about three times a year#and yeah one is usually during winter break so we’re on schedule#i don’t know. idk!! i don’t know what to do here#and i still have to do my fucking scene prep for tomorrow#bc i was talking my mom about it and i really needed support which she was giving and then she has to leave for five seconds#and when she came back the entire conversation was just about her own problems again which we’ve already talked about every fucking night bc#- you can’t leave conversations with her and i hate when she fucking drunks i hate it i hate it#i am Not Well. i’ve sort of been avoiding admitting to myself just how badly#but man. i can push through anything until i drop but when i start wishing that i’ll drop so i have an excuse for a break….. not good#ted talks#the west wing
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who needs kids to pick on them when you already have a built in bully?
#cade’s things#cade’s thoughts 💭#I just love being bullied everyday by my mom#don’t you?#I also just love when she says that she’s gonna go and do things for me but never does or backs out last minute “somebody else can do that”#shoulda never showed her my school outfits like I do not give a damn abt them kids if they pick on me they pick on me but you’re obviously#not gonna care or be told abt it like ??#you really think I give a damn abt them kids who can’t even wash themselves properly ?!?!#also just like I do not dress for them I don’t buy clothes and be like “will I get bullied in this?”#and you talkin bout you tryna help me over an all pink outfit? a pink shirt wit white writing and pink leggings is too much pink?#like it’s a pink outfit that’s the point I don’t care abt them I just wanted to wear it#then I’m giving attitude all for saying that I’ll just pick out another outfit for that day since you don’t like that one#that’s what you said? started goin on a whole rant about how you bought a shirt for them leggings then went ahead and was like#“you’re only gonna be wearing jeans?” like yeah#i don’t have that many pairs of leggings for a 4 day school week#and that outfit was gonna be my only legging outfit but I can’t just wear a pink Regina George shirt and pink leggings wit white shoes that#would be too much pink? okay I really don’t care anymore#then wanna complain about my closet and the fact we’re moving and you don’t wanna spend a whole day packing it up like.#i did not choose to go to a one bedroom apartment where i’mma be living in the dining room area ?!?!#eh whatever#don’t really know why you care it ain’t like you gonna be wearing it and also for the last time I do not care about them kids#they don’t run my life if I got bullied you would not care and blame it on me or my clothes like right now#jesus christ I just can’t
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