#my mom has actual like Anxiety anxiety so if she tells me i am being stupid and worrying for nothing then i will believe it

[barkingangelbaby]

venting so much i ran out of tags lmao

[cinna-bunnie]

i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!

[ironmanstan]

yknow i think i am understand the like. autistic mf living according to lists and schedules thing. bc i realized i cannot like comprehend time or tasks at all until i break them down into an itemized list of sorts or something like that. which means now i end up being way more productive over stretches of time where i stack way too many things on top of each other bc i have to plan out my time and thus am actually aware of it and am more aware of the time in between tasks i have.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hello, I hope your having a nice day, can I request Yandere 1st Years + Grim (Platonic) with a Komi Reader? (From Komi can’t Communicate)

Reader’s known for being incredibly beautiful, intelligent, athletic and elegant in everything she does, however she has crippling Social Anxiety and ends up scaring everyone away with her ‘mean/scary’ look so everyone tends to avoid her (When it’s actually herself that’s nervous since she doesn’t know what to say)

Except for Ace, Deuce and Grim after they spent time with Reader in the mine, they discovered her anxiety she wrote it out so now they’re mostly the ones who do the talking for her and try to help her reach her goal of making 100 Friends in NRC, even though they both think that’s a ‘weird/bad goal’ because this IS NRC

Reader loves cats, so she spoils Grim and Lucius (The latter likes laying in her lap and even follows her around) with pets, treats and affection and helping her friends with studying since she gets perfect marks

How would they react to hearing Reader’s voice for the first time? Not to mention have Reader tell write out that she made a friend all by herself who visits her dorm at night and does nightly walks (You know who it is)

Komi-San Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

You’re quiet and intimidating but not because others find you scary. The exact opposite, they’re obsessed. You’re athletic, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re kind, and the list goes on. Without so much as opening your mouth, the school is at its hands and knees all for you. Little do they know about your silent struggle, not like your dearest first-year friends. More than anyone they know how hard you work and if their hearts could overfill with love for you it already has.  So imagine your stalkers' friends; reaction to you’re never heard before voice:

Ace Trappola

“Aw man, (Y/n) I can’t begin to explain how much of a pain he is! With his moodiness, we’re not going to win the game.”

“...”

“Don’t say that, I am great but not that great.”

“...Y-you c-can d-do it!” 

He plays 10x better 

All while running on his excitement and embarrassment

“Whoa, Ace! W-were you holding out on us!”

Everyone is floored that he’s suddenly just doing so well

He’s keeping your quiet cheers to himself 

Replaying it in his head

He will teasingly ask you for a recording even when you cutely shake your head

“Oi oi don’t get all shy now, you were doing so well!”

He does circle back having already written down the names of those who turned their heads

If they’re so inclined to hear your voice in a roaring crowd 

Then they should be alright with their ears no longer working 

He’s being merciful when he does just this

And if you mention any mysterious friends, he’d no doubt try to follow up on that same treatment

Deuce Spade

“M-maybe being an honor student was too high of a goal.”

You shake your head

“Ahh I appreciate it, (Y/n) but if I’m going to flunk again I’ll be in trouble. Both with Riddle and my mom, I just can’t measure up. ”

“You…are a good student.”

He blushes 

“G-g-g-g-good j-job (Y/n)!”

He knows how much this is taking for you to try 

But he just can’t keep it together 

He’s among the first to hear your precious voice

He has to be the only one

He doesn’t know what this feeling is but he doesn’t want to share

It especially rubs him the wrong way when you mention a mysterious friend 

He decides to wait it out

See who this new friend he’s going to gut he has to meet

Epel Felmier

“Grrrr I can’t stand it! Why can’t I be taken seriously? I just hate my face!”

“...”

“Don’t hafta lie ta me, (Y/n)! I know I’m not handsome.”

“...I….th-th-”

“Huh?” 

“I think you’re handsome.”

“Aw shucks, (Y/n)!”

He definitely wasn’t was expecting that

You’re just the sweetest as he predicted

He already keeps the notebook you’ve lost+ gone through with your written words

And the apple cores he lovingly retrieves from Ramshackle’s trash no doubt cultivating whatever ends up growing from them

He avoids the impulse to tear his book open at the mention of a new friend 

Well I hope they like a poison-apple

Jack Howl 

“I have a magift practice later on…are you still going to come?”

You nod your head

“T-thank you, I’d appreciate your support from the stands.”

When he says that he doesn’t expect you to actually whisper anything out

“G-go Jack!”

His keen ears pick it up and suddenly he’s breezing through obstacles like never before

And of course, he did his mate practically cheered him on

It makes it much earlier to replay that encouragement when he’s fighting for your honor his ownership of you

No doubt Savvannclaw is filled with your admirers

But some are a little too bold

So leave it to your mate to take action first

And while he’s at it he might as well guard your home more intensely

Sebek Zigvolt

“WHAT A MARVEL HUMAN! YOU’VE TAMED ALL THE FERAL FELINES ON CAMPUS!” 

“...”

“WELL FOR A HUMAN IT IS DECENT WORK! PERHAPS YOU DO HAVE–”

“C-can you please be quiet?”

“...?....!..Y-you think y-you, a mere human, can tell me what to do?!” 

Yes you can, having the loud half-fae go down two whole octaves was a feat

And he keeps replaying the moment in his head specifically the way your lips moved

Burning hot all over he’s not really listening to anyone for the next week month

But once he’s broken out of it he’s determined to repeat the miracle

And it seems it works best if your alone?

Then he’ll be sure to chase off the gaggle of scum+ admirers who you claim to be friends with

And he thinks nothing of a midnight friend…that is if you’re alone with them than that’s completely unacceptable

Grim

“Henchhuman! Everyone is soooo mean! Why doesn’t anyone like me? I know I’m so cool and maybe that’s why–”

“I like you.”

“Well of course you w–W-wait did you speak? T-t to me! Whoopee, I’m going to tell everyone the great Grim is who you spoke to first!” 

He runs off to do just that 

Bragging to anyone who would listen

He has to dodge a lot of assassination hits that day

But it gives him the content whenever that icky feeling comes up sometimes

And as for your ‘Hornton’ friend he’s seen him and next time he comes around he’ll boast all about his greatness and how you spoke to him

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for refusing to drive my sister around unless she pays me?

I (16) am learning to drive right now, and my sister (14) can be really really reckless around anything to do with cars. I'm pretty sure she picked it up from our older brother (18 and 20), neither of which I've ever seen put a seat belt on while driving. My brothers just don't care about safety in any situations, but my sister refuses to put a seat belt on as if she's trying to prove something. Like, she sometimes gets genuinely upset if someone tells her to put a seat belt on. I've tried to ask her about the problem before, and what it comes down to is that she's never been involved in a car crash and consequently doesn't think that there's any real danger.

There's this weird rule my family has had our whole lives that if you don't wear your seat belt during a drive, you owe the driver a dollar. Everyone in my family kinda stopped doing that because kids grow up and are supposed to learn how to be safe without being bribed. Well, I told my sister that whenever I was driving, the rule would be back in place.

The thing is, I don't actually want a dollar from my sister. I just want it to be a motivator and I want her to put her seat belt on.

Well, it didn't work, because the first time I ever drove her somewhere, I learned upon arrival that she had literally unbuckled her seat belt on the way there. I told her that she owed me a dollar and she seemed completely unbothered by that. So I told her that if she didn't buckle it on her way back, she owed me ten dollars instead.

Once again, I don't actually want money from her. She's fourteen and has never had an actual job. I just wanted the money to convince her to put her seat belt on. And it didn't work. She didn't buckle it on the way back. She refused to pay the ten dollars, because she said she thinks that it's a ridiculous amount of money to pay just because she wasn't wearing a seat belt. So the compromise we're currently doing is that she can't ask me to drive her anywhere unless she pays the money from her not buckling it.

Reasons I might be the asshole: She literally has no way to get anywhere if I don't drive her. My parents are always busy unless you plan, like, three weeks in advance, which is difficult at the age of 14. We live in an area where I'd have to drive an hour to get to the nearest public transportation, and there aren't enough sidewalks for her to walk places. We also moved pretty recently and I don't want her to struggle maintaining friendships just because her older sibling refuses to drive her places. And honestly it's not just with her friendships-if I drove my mom somewhere, me being the driver would automatically exclude my sister from participating. Also, money being involved at all makes me feel like I'm just being petty.

Reasons I might not be the asshole: I am not good at driving. I am still learning. I am constantly making turns that are sharper than they need to be, or pressing on the brakes too hard, or any number of things I have to practice with to get better at, and I can literally hear my sister getting thrown around in the backseat when I make mistakes. This is dangerous even if I don't get into a car crash, and I don't think I'm immune to ever getting in car crashes. Also, I have super debilitating anxiety, and if there's anything that immediately takes my focus away from driving, it's the idea that my little sister isn't safe right behind me.

Anyway yeah. AITA for that whole thing

What are these acronyms?

[adorethedistance]

I Don’t Just Like You - Trevor Zegras x Hughes!Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, tension/fighting, jealousy, Dixie lmao

Words: 2161

Summary: Tension builds with Trevor over his new partnership until the two of you confess your feelings.

A/n: Y'all I am so not doing well rn. I am processing a break up and questioning my social circle and im so lonely that I needed to write some angst to cope with it all. Hope yall like this one and maybe it'll get a smut part two depending on whether or not I can handle writing that rn lol. Enjoy!

Moose: call me ASAP

Me: sorry Luke. can’t rn

Moose: Awesome 😎

My hands quake with anxiety as I fiddle with the tarnished silver ring adorning my pointer finger. The moisture of my skin eases the movement of turning the ring around my finger. I hiss when the gemstone catches on the skin of my middle finger and immediately drop my hands. 

Currently, I’m staring down at the risky text I just sent Trevor. About an hour ago he had messaged me:

Trev: hey sorry can’t swing tn after all 

Trev: rain check?

My jaw tightens with contempt and I huff out a sigh as my bottom lip trembles. I feel pathetic for just how impacted I am by his every word. I angrily hit the digital keys of my phone’s keyboard as I type my reply.

Me: really? 

Me: again??

Trev: don’t be like that

I’m not the most confrontational person. On any given day some might say I’m the furthest thing from confrontational. To put it rather plainly, I just don’t like it. I hate the way I get anxiety butterflies in my stomach. I hate absorbing the emotions of the other person, especially when rejection is involved. I hate what projections I’m opening myself up to receiving from the other person. There are too many pitfalls and not enough landing pads. Which is why it’s so out of character for me to press him on this.

Me: like what Trev?

This is the third time in a row Trevor has cancelled plans on me. I don’t know if he’s aware of that. I don’t even know what he’s been up to lately. He’s refused to tell me what he’s been doing instead, which didn’t raise my suspicions by any means until mom sent me an article. She knows about how my crush on Trevor has had roots in our childhoods. 

Trev: you know what I’m talking about

After I stopped playing hockey with my brothers, I was still always around to notice Trevor’s presence in our home. When I moved to California for college, I wanted to chase my music dreams but I didn’t realize it would come at the expense of my support system. Being long distance with my family put me in a hard spot, but having a familiar face to rely on made the adjustment easier. As we spent more time together independent of my brothers, Trevor and I became close friends. The problem was my crush has been growing ever since we became friends, hence why mom sent me an article called, “Did Dixie D’Amelio admit to dating Trevor Zegras?”.

Me: at least say it with your chest

Sent. Delivered. I wait. Trevor’s response bubble appears for a second. It disappears, then reappears, then disappears again. I’m about ready to toss my phone across the room when his message delivers.

Trev: call me

I groan out in frustration and this time actually end up chucking my phone onto my bed. I run my hands through my hair, along the warm expanse of my scalp. A self-soothing gesture by all means. I pace to one side of my room before using the momentum of my steps to start back towards my phone. Just as I have it in my hand, Trevor’s contact picture covers the screen and illuminates in my grasp. I scoff out a sort of half groan and then answer.

“What, Trevor?”

“Hey, Y/n I’m great. Thanks for asking! How are you?” He responds sardonically to my cold greeting. I bite my tongue, torn between tearing into him and the stronger desire to laugh through my rage. He takes my exhale as a cue to continue. “What’s going on, Hughesy?”

In a single moment, my anger dissolves. The tenderness of that nickname, which was once reserved solely for my brothers, now belongs to me. In this moment, I find myself thinking about how grateful I am that Trevor was there for me as I transitioned into college. But the looming threat of a smile quickly vanishes as I remember how that care is nullified by Trevor’s abundantly active dating life.

“Y/nnnn?” Trevor hums into the phone.

“What?” I respond dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you cancelling on me for the third time in a row.”

“Is it really the third time in a row?” He asks under his breath, indicating he may not have intended to say it out loud at all. I roll my eyes, still actively fighting the urge to just lay into him.

“Yes, Trevor, it is!” I can practically hear him wince through the phone at the fact that I’m calling him Trevor instead of the default nickname permanently programmed into my phone. 

“Who’s that?” I hear softly over the phone. My heart flutters like a coal mine parakeet in a cage and I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry if it turns out Dixie is on the other side. Trevor whispers back,

“It’s Y/n.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Mason’s on the other end. 

“Not a good time,” Trevor tells him. Mason curses and then apologizes before retreating from Trevor’s general area. “Sorry, you were saying?” Trevor tells me at regular volume.

“You were cancelling on me again.”

“Oh. Right. I…” he switches the phone to the other ear, “I…don’t know what you want me to say.” Hello?! Could he be any more oblivious?!

“I want you to tell me what is going on!” I whine into the phone, “What is it you’re so busy with doing that you can’t see me for a week, huh? I get that you’re a professional athlete and you have a busy schedule. But I know your schedule and I know you still have a decent amount of free time. So what have you been doing?” Trevor breathes, in, then out and says,

“I’ve been seeing someone lately…” I feel my heart shatter into the tiniest fractals of what it once was and I cover my mouth to choke back the growing lump in my throat.

“I can’t do this right now,” I say with the utmost hurt lacing my voice, pulling the phone away from my ear to abruptly hang up on Trevor. I toss my phone on my bed once more, ignoring how the screen lights up with Trevor’s contact picture. It’s a new breed of psychological torture to sit here and ignore the calls, so I leave my phone in my bedroom as I go to splash cold water on my face. 

When I reenter my bedroom, I ignore the buzzing device to put on a comfortable pair of pajamas. He’s called once, twice, a fourth, and a fifth before finally giving up. Despite my phone being silent, I don’t trust it enough to take it with me and leave it to charge on my bed. I settle on the couch to open my new pint of Ben and Jerry’s, putting on my favorite show in the hopes of laughing through the pain. 

Somewhere between first and second episode, I had dozed off after returning the ice cream to the freezer. I’m not sure what it is about crying that knocks me on my ass like that, all I know is that it works. 

I’m abruptly pulled from my sleep when I hear the harsh banging on my front door. I jump up from the couch, the spike in adrenaline carrying me out of my sleepy haze. When I get to the front door, some of the tiredness catches up with me again and I groggily open the front door. Behind it stands Trevor, with sad puppy eyes and a sheepish expression. I can’t help the scowl that comes to rest on my face when I see him, but he doesn’t falter. Instead, he pushes past me to come into the apartment and sits on the couch expectantly. Since there’s no way to physically remove him from my space, I bargain, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from Trevor as I can manage. He doesn’t let the cold gesture phase him, and scooches obliviously into the center of the couch.

“What’s going on Hughsey?” I scoff at the nickname and Trevor cringes in frustration. “What is this?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Why are you icing me out all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, spiteful, with malice. 

“Clearly not since I’m here spending time with you.”

“Was that so hard for you to do? I mean, with your busy schedule and all?”

“What are you-” Trevor pauses for a split second. “Wait, are you… jealous? Y/n?”

I want to protest. I want to scream and rant and bite back, how he could be so conceited to think I’d be jealous of a relationship that I previously thought was rumored? But I can’t. 

Because he’s right.

I bite my tongue. There’s nothing else I can do. Not unless I want to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

“Oh my god, that’s totally it. You’re jealous.” Trevor says, complete with a laugh and a sigh. The shame of actually being jealous of a girl I’ve never met, the disappointment of finding out Trevor is dating someone, and the exhaustion from already having cried earlier comes collapsing down on me at once. Hot tears well on the lining of my lashes and I stare at the ground, afraid to draw attention to myself. Upon seeing me cry, Trevor’s smile immediately vanishes and he scoots closer once more.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He envelops me in a hug that I’m too overwhelmed to reciprocate. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” 

I merely shake my head, unaware of what I could even say in this moment.

“I was… I was just laughing ‘cause I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?”

“That you’d be jealous.” I wriggle out of the hug and look at Trevor sincerely.

“How would you have known?”

“You know, for as long as I can remember, your brothers have talked about you having a crush on me.” I cower in humiliation, my face glowing hotter than the surface of the sun.

“I wish they wouldn’t have.”

“No?” Trevor asks, genuinely.

“It’s embarrassing,” I confess, fully recoiling from the physical contact he had initiated before. 

“It’s cute.” Trevor earnestly admits as he takes my hand in his. I scoff instinctively but don’t pull my hand away again.

“I don’t need your pity, Trev.” I say so softly he nearly misses the sentiment. Once he processes my worlds, I feel him physically relax next to me at the sound of his familiar nickname.

“Well, what do you need? I’m here now.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I finally dare to meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so sweetly, earnestly. As if I hadn’t just chewed him out two minutes earlier. Then, I look away before I can say what I’m about to say next. “I don’t just like you.” Trevor’s face lifts ever so slightly. The extent of which, one might miss had they not known him a lifetime the way I have.

 “You know… the only reason I started seeing her was to get over you.”

“What?” I ask, sharply whipping my head to stare at Trevor, as if awaiting the reveal that this was just some elaborate prank from the start.

“Yeah. I started dating Dixie because I thought dating someone different would distract me. You know, it’s not a good look to have a crush on your best friend’s little sister.”

My heartrate picks up with his confession. This feels too good to be true. As if real life is waiting for us right outside the front door. The real life that doesn’t see me and Trevor together ever in our lifetimes. Terrified of the change that would occur from letting him walk away, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. Trevor wraps his hand around my wrist and kisses me back with twice as much fervor. 

We break apart, out of breath and full of smiles. Trevor looks at me for guidance and we fizzle into a nervous laughter. I reach up and brush my thumb tenderly across his cheekbone. He grabs my hand and turns his head, placing a sweet kiss on my palm. I then reach up and break the moment by ruffling my hand through his hair to mess it up.

“Hey!” He yells, grabbing waist to dig his hands into my sides. I screech with laughter as I try to escape. Trevor eventually yields and slips his hands from my sides to interlace with one another and pull me closer. I scoot in to sit against him, sitting half on top of him as our breathing falls in sync.

“I don’t just like you, too, Hughesy.” I smile.

“...You should probably call Dixie.”

“Oh shit.”

***

A/N: not my best work but not my worst either!

[simplydannie]

I’m supposed to working on my other fics, but this one hit me like a train wreck. I work with kids on the spectrum, from moderate to mild. This one is dedicated to each and everyone one of my amazing kiddos. Where the world sees the disability I see the ability. My kiddos have changed my heart, and love them all dearly. I wouldn’t change what I do for anything. I wish I could shelter them from the cruel world always. One day the world will see how amazing you guys are by just being you ❤️ I will always be proud of you all!

Velvet has always been tough, overprotective, and really hard on her brother. People would say she’s cruel, but in reality she is sheltering him from a world she fears would never accept him.

●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

“How do they look?” Veneer asked facing Velvet.

“Like headphones duh.”

“But they aren’t.”

“Who cares! Let them think they’re ‘actual’ headphones.” She quoted. Velvet went over to adjust the headphones that lay over his purple beanie. “How do they feel?”

“Comfortable.” He smiled, but then it soon faded. “Vels, why can’t we just tell them? I thought mom and dad said not to be ashamed…”

“We’re not ashamed. They just won’t understand.” She rolled her eyes, “Trolls live in this perfect happy world where nothing is wrong with them….. they’d never understand.” Velvet pulled her pink hoodie over her black mini dress. She reached over and fixed Veneers golden hoodie that draped over his skinny black jeans and combat boots.

“Vels come on!” He said embarrassed.

“Some old habits die hard…. I guess let’s go.” She grunted. The twins made their way out of their suit in Gristles castle…

It had been a year since the Rage Dome incident. Floyd had convinced the trolls and Bergens to allow the twins to spend the rest of their term under community service. What the Trolls didn’t know was that a change happened in the twins… Velvet would catch herself loosing control around her brother, as if reality was distorted. Sometimes she’d see him, but she couldn’t stop herself, as if she didn’t have control of her own body… and Veneer, well something returned, something that only her and her parents understood, something that the troll essence somehow allowed him to control. Ever since then, her protectiveness returned…like a bear and her cub.

“Hey guys! Whoa, styling headphones Veneer!” Poppy chimed.

He smiled, “Why thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah, they’re nice. We were called down for breakfast and now here we are.” Velvet said.

“I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Branch rolled his eyes and turned away, Veneers mood lightened upon seeing the small grey Troll.

“Hey Branch!” He waved making his way towards him. Velvet attempted to hold her brother back but failed. Why did he like Branch so much? She could never put her finger on it. Branch did his best to ignore the Rageon as he yapped and yapped.

Branch ignored Veneer and went ahead to get his breakfast. “Oh okay. Talk to you later!” Veneer called out.

“Why do you have to follow him so much?” Velvet asked.

“I don’t know, he seems cool. Bet you I can get him to be my friend.”

“Ew why?”

“Come on Vels, I’m trying.”

Grabbing him by the arm, she led him to the dining area where food awaited. “I’m hungry come on.”

Velvet wasn’t used to having so many people around during any mealtime. It was always her, Veneer, and their parents… but she began realizing that the Trolls treated everything like a party, and apparently the Bergens joined in with them. Veneer began shifting on his feet at the sight of everyone… a wave of anxiety and nervousness came over him. Velvet noticed his uneasiness.

“Let’s sit over here.” She pulled him to an isolated table.

“No! Let’s sit with everyone else.” He told her.

“You’re not ready.”

“How am I ever going to get ready if you never give me a chance?” Veneer looked at his sister square in the eye.

“But what if something happens…”

“Then it happens. These are the Trolls we’re talking about! They’ll be excepting, right? I mean, do they have what I have? Is it normal to them? Different?” Veneer began to over analyze everything.

“Let’s sit over here…” she began to pill him until she was stopped by Poppy and Viva.

“Hey girl!” Viva exclaimed. Velvet rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Sooo Velvet we have nice Trolls and Bergens we want you to meet.”

“And Vennie we have some we want you to meet too!”

The twins took a quick glance at each other. “Floyd said he thinks it’ll be a great idea for you guys to make some friends… other than each other of course.”

“We’re good. We don’t need friends.” Velvet began pulling her brother along. Veneer was frozen in his footsteps. “Ven?” Veneer was staring at the ground, lost in thought. For years since they were kids, Velvet had really sacrificed a lot for him…. That’s including friendships. Veneer was different, making friends didn’t come easy to him. He remembered spending most of his school days alone, until Velvet came in. She decided to be his only friend and he be hers. Maybe now it could be different. She needed friends other than him around.

“M-maybe it’s a good idea Vels.”

“What!”

“Y-you need to make friends. Y-you need people to talk to. Can you do this, for me?” He asked. Veneer pouted his lip, widening his eyes.

“No….no! Not the face! You’re not a kid anymore!”

But that only made Veneer pout his lip even more, saddening his eyes. Velvet grunted, “Fine! But… someone gives you hard time..”

“I know. Go look for you.” He smiled. Viva took Velvet away while Veneer followed Poppy. She led him to a table where young teenage Bergens and Trolls sat, amongst them was Branch. Upon seeing the Rageon, the grey Troll grunted. He got up and walked off causing Veneer to frown.

“Hey everyone! So this is Veneer! He’s new here. So let’s all be nice.” Veneer took a seat in between two Bergens who eyed him weirdly. He did his best to smile, but even then he felt awkward.

“You’re a Rageon?” Asked a funk troll.

“Y-yes.” He stammered as he grew nervous. His leg began to twitch, he began to fiddle with the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Well, nice to meet you I guess.” A teenaged Bergen told him.

An easiness overcame Veneer when he heard that. He smiled. “You too!” Looking at the food on his plate, Veneer began to do something he hadn’t done in so long, not since using the Trolls essence. He began separating his food by colors. His eyes were able to distinguish the different hues and shades of everything. He hummed as he did so. Everyone around him eyed him suspiciously. They turned to give each other glances.

“Dude. What are you doing?” Asked a young rock troll.

“Something I’d used to do. I don’t why it bothers me when things are not color coordinated. You can obviously tell this shade of red is different than this one…..” Unknowingly, he began to ramble on and on. There was silence around him, so he assumed they were interested in what he was saying. When he looked up, he noticed everyone was gone. Looking around, Veneer saw they had moved to another table, snickering and laughing at him.

“Oh! Hey wait up!” Quickly gathering his plate, he went after them. The table groaned as he neared them…. They left him no room to sit. “Um, excuse me.”

“There’s no room. Sorry bud.” A Bergen said.

“But if you just moved your foot, I can sit here.”

“Nope.”

“Okay very funny.” Veneer attempted to laugh as he tried scooting in.

“I said no room.” The Bergen shoved Veneer with such force that he fell down, his plate and food spilling everywhere. The small group snickered at the sight. Poppy, Branch, and Floyd came running over.

“Hey you good?” Floyd asked.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Nervousness set in Veneer again as all eyes were on him. His eyes darting back and forth as he tried to avoid eye contact. Veneer began to hum to soothe himself, but he could feel the laughter, the judgement.

“He tripped dude. He’s fine.” Branch said rolling his eyes. He began to hate the attention Veneer would take from Floyd. Floyd was HIS brother, not Veneers.

“Oh! Well it’s okay Vennie we’ll just get you another plate.” Poppy chimed.

Veneer had stopped trying to pick up his food. He just knelt there, staring straight at the ground. He couldn’t calm down, everything wrecked his nerves, the world was spinning a thousand miles per minute. He needed to calm down, he continued to hum. The familiarity of the hands that helped him up was the only thing to cause him ease.

“Just go Ven. I’ll pick this up.” Velvet told him. Veneer tightened his headphones around his ears. He nodded and headed off. Velvet continued to pick up the food without making eye contact or acknowledging anyone…. She knew it was a mistake, she knew they wouldn’t accept him.

“What’s the big deal? He just dropped his food.” Said one of the teenage Bergens. Velvet ignored them… she began to fume as her anger rose.

“Maybe he shouldnt be so sensitive.” Branch scoffed. Velvet grabbed the broken plate and smashed it on the floor again…. completely shattering it.

“HES NOT SENSITIVE YOUR TWIG! HES AUTISTIC!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Complete silence surrounded her. It was then she noticed what she had said. Forget this, she thought. Velvet rushed after Veneer leaving everyone flabbergasted. Whether they understood or not, she didn’t care. This world would never accept him…she knew she was all he had.

“Velvet!” She heard Floyd call out to her.

“Screw you!” She yelled back…. She knew the moment Veneer absorbed the troll essence, his brain chemistry had changed, it had made him different. She didn’t have to worry about him… but that was gone. Everything was back to the way it was before the fame… but this time… mom and dad weren’t around to comfort them.

[pineappleciders]

heyy first of all its me the fucked up dream anon (now going by dream anon how original) second of all ive decided im going to learn about south park purely through your work so can i get some tweek (ive latched onto that boy) and whoever else you want (probably the main boys) with a reader (all platonic ofc) who's got that #anxiety? thanks even if you dont do it <33

🌌🌟/dream anon

main 4 + tweek with a reader who has anxiety; platonic headcanons

A/N: haii :3 i apologize if this like, distorts your vision of the characters or something. i am so glad you are being converted to the religion of tweek!!!!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety disorders, light mental health topics, paranoia, panic/anxiety attacks, death mention on kennys part

stan marsh

i think stan has a normal amount of anxiety. like he's so regular. he's your average joe

like he gets anxious over tests, and giving speeches, and over wendy. other than that he doesn't experience it to the extent of a disorder

so it might be a little difficult for him to imagine getting anxious over simple things like ordering food and stuff like that

he'll try his best to listen though, although he'll probably try to kinda reason with you, esp if you're feeling paranoid or something

"dude, i checked twice, it's locked. relax, man."

he'll try to distract you, by playing games and watching stuff, and just generally kinda trying to be funny to take your mind off of things

if you're having a panic/anxiety attack, he kinda panics too at first, before quickly pulling you away and asking what's wrong. he is sweating very hard

if you're unresponsive, he tries to stay calm but is honestly considering calling an ambulance. like he thinks you're having a stroke

"shit, a panic attack? uh, okay, errr.... take deep breaths, okay? in.. and out. in.. and out. okay, that's good.."

he looks up grounding techniques on his phone and relays them to you until you calm down and catch your breath. he like sends you images off of google of the 5 senses technique randomly and says he figured you'd need it someday

he tries to keep your anxiety in mind, and might slip up sometimes, but for the most part he tries to be careful with his words and actions as to not worry you. he shows his care in subtle ways!!

kyle broflovski

he tries to kinda. logic it out a bit. like if you're feeling insecure he tells you how unrealistic it is for someone to think about one random passerby's appearance forever

he does feel bad though. he doesn't completely understand, but whenever he's feeling insecure he tends to get really anxious about people at school

he usually gets anxious whenever he's doing something wrong or sneaking out. like he's actually sweating and shitting his pants thinking about what his mom will do to him if she finds out

he'll encourage you to order food for yourself, to get yourself out there more, and if you succeed he'll pat your shoulder and smile a lil

if you don't want to, he might dramatically sigh but he'll do it anyways. cuz he knows how hard it is

i do think he'd get a little anxious about asking workers for help and stuff, but he'll be the bigger person... he supposes... smh my head...

when you have an panic attack for the first time, he's like really confused and gets super concerned that you're having a heart attack, and pulls his phone out to dial your parents or 911

"i'm here for you dude! listen- hey, listen to me. it's okay. can- can you-"

he tries to talk to you to de-escalate it, but he gives up and has his hand on your back, while looking up what the fuck to do

'friend havign panjc atgack what to do'

if you're okay with it, he probably talks to your parents about it. he doesn't really trust himself to be able to always calm you down, so he encourages getting outside/professional help

he does try though, and he'll always be there for you in different ways!! like when you need help with something or just need company to distract you, he's at ur door with his xbox 360

eric cartman

you can tell that eric gets a little uncomfortable if you're freaking out or feeling anxious. whether it's because he actually feels bad or just doesn't know how to handle your emotions, you'll never know

but either way, he'll probably just like. sit next to you like "dude, what's up with you?" or in other cases he'll sneakily slip out of the room unseen

he does try to be kinda logical about it, but that's solely because he physically can't speak words of comfort.

"i mean, dude, be seriously. nobody cares about you that much to notice." you speak such kind words eric!!

he doesn't really like it when things get serious, so he'll generally try to transition the situation into something more casual. like he'll try to ease your (his) mood by getting snacks and playing games together, or even begging his mom to take you both to KFC

if you have a panic attack, all of his alarms are blaring and his brain is screaming flight!!!!! flight!!!! run the fuck away!!!!

and he probably tries to, but when you notice him and call his name he physically deflates

he awkwardly turns around and slowly strolls over. "Y/N... heeeeeeey... what's up... duuude..." you can hear the strain in his voice

if it gets to be too much, as in you won't stop hyperventilating or can't breathe, he'll probably alert an adult or take you to the nurse or something. he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a suspect of your death

if ur having trouble ordering food he'll gladly take ur place and make a scene to get all eyes on him. "erm excuthe me they athed for no pickleth🤓"

other than when you're voicing your anxiety, he probably treats you the same. i don't really think he'd take advantage of your anxiety unless you were like. butters or heidi or something and he was really trying to get you to do something for him or just trying to. stick himself in your mind. because he's a narcissist and he loves that!!

kenny mccormick

he doesn't relate necessarily, but he definitely understands.

he lives a lot of his life in fear of his next death, and is constantly praying it be quick and painless

kenny is more of a reserved fella, but not really shy or anxious. so if you're having trouble speaking up or ordering something he'll step up and do it gladly!!

i think he'd be pretty decent at comforting. like he'll pat his hand on your back and speak assuring, muffled words

"mm, mmph mmph mmmph! mmph mph mph mmmfmf mmf mph mph mmph!" (aww, it'll be okay. i'll walk you every step of the way, buddy!)

he tries to take your emotions into consideration more, and grabs your hand and squeezes it sometimes if you need a boost of confidence. sometimes he forgets your anxiety and says something rude and feels really bad about it

when you're having a panic attack, he's honestly really scared and expects you to start foaming at the mouth or something

he'll hesitate, but he'll pat your back and try to help you with grounding techniques. the 5-4-3-2-1 in particular is his favorite, and he'll tell you how to do it in like a rlly sweet and calming voice

he's still spooked though, and gets you a water bottle and like a washcloth. he's incredibly thankful you aren't dying or anything

kenny is very good at comforting! sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of eye contact and seeing his eyes crinkle that gives you a surge of calmness you didn't know you needed

tweek tweak

tweek is no outsider to anxiety and stress. he's literally a living beehive with all that damn vibrating

to anyone else, it would seem like tweek had a severe anxiety disorder, or even ADHD. but it turns out it's just a result of his crippling meth addiction and caffiene overdoses

he tries to think about what craigs taught him, about grounding techniques and how to handle a panic attack, and tries to apply those for you

he's shakily take your hand and wrap you in a blanket, making you hot cocoa and helping you slowly come back to your senses

"okay, okay, what are 5 things you can touch? or- no- AGH! was it 5 things you see- hear? no, ACK! i can't remember!"

most of the time if you're feeling on-edge about something, his main goal will be to just listen to you talk and validate your feelings. he doesn't really make it a point to give you advice or try to be logical, unless you directly ask for it

he's great at listening!!! he also doesn't trust his own advice enough to say it to someone else.

he really tries to think hard about what comforts him when he's anxious, and so he tries to use the tactics for you. for instance, he tries to help you get into a hobby like painting to have a bit more control over yourself

hc that tweek loves to draw with crayons so he'll make little drawings of you and him as stick figures being all happy and give them to you. as a treat

overall he is very attentive, and cares a lot. he tries his very best to be there for you, and a lot of the time that results in you two just hanging out or gaming together, so you can both get your mind off of things for a while. it makes him happy to be able to be there for someone else like craig was for him

[plantboiart]

Hello. List of what animals I believe each just roll with it pc I know would be. I am objectively correct but if you disagree please tell me anyways I crave other people’s opinions to steal.

Riptide

Jay: a bird, obviously. Saying she’s a jaybird is easy and low hanging fruit and extremely valid. Personally I think she’s maybe a corvid since very smart but also absolute fucking menace. Honestly? Could be a seagull. Loud and lives near water and also smart but also? Absolutely insane. Yeah sure I could say she’s something cool like an eagle or whatever but I think in our hearts we all know she’s a seagull.

Gillion: of course he is a sea creature! But what kind? Fish. More specifically? Swordfish. Of course. What else could he be (he could be a shark but shhhh im saving that one for later)

Chip: the bastard man himself! Which animals are the biggest bastards? Raccoons. Yes I am basic. He’s either a raccoon or a little dog. I am specifically thinking my mom’s 11 year old small dog who yells at men and tries to pick a fight with every single dog that is larger than her. That’s some Chip energy right there.

Goobleck: bro who knows like what the hell is that thing i do not. Hes whatever he ate most recently. Bros fursona is just straight up slime. He is an enigma.

Prime defenders (+Ashe I don’t care that technically he was just a guest he deserves to be here)

William: ravens, black cats, bats, butterflies, snakes, crows. All associated with death which makes sense for our little ghost guy! But of course we can’t forget wolves! He has two wolves inside of him after all. But also? He is not cool enough to be a wolf. That man is a black cat with a dream and sharp sharp claws.

Vyncent: I think it would be funny to call him a rat. Since he eats them. And also he just kinda is a rat. But no, I believe he is a deer. Don’t really know why, just….. vibes.

Dakota: my beloved son. He’s a yappy little dog. Bouncing all over the place and screaming at evil-doers. I believe in him.

Ashe: strong cat energy. Is william already a cat? Yes. But so is ashe. He’s like a fully gray cat with short hair :)

Apotheosis

Rumi/Elena: fox! Because Sunny :) also because I can’t really think of an animal that would be a good representation for an identity crisis

Peter: “lizard” no. Peter Sqloint is a mouse. Just a lil guy. I’m right fuck you he. Is. A. Mouse.

Thanatos: spider! Kinda scary and lots of people dont like but in reality just an awesome dude. Shoutout to my friend’s pet spider Mörkö I love them

Blood in the bayou

Rolan: shark!!!! Im right and i need to say it. That man is a fucking shark. I love sharks. Sharks are generally misunderstood as violent and evil but they are just lil guys. Fits Rolan being an evil alien monster but just also a lawyer. (Also i just really like sharks)

Rand: y’all ever cry about pigeons? How we domesticated them and then abandoned them when we didnt need them anymore? How they dont even know how to make proper nests because they didnt need to for so long? Yeah. Im normal about this campaign.

Kian: he’s so hard to figure out because like…….. honestly? In canon? Weve got no fucking clue what his personality is actually like. We dont get a single moment with all the masks off and just the person underneath. The closest we get is him admitting that hes not really a rockstar and even that is so short and just. Auehgeh. This is why im obsessed with him btw i love a mystery i know will never be solved. Also so much room for headcanons. Is he a cat? A butterfly? A dog? A snake? A songbird? A dove? Something else? I dont know!! Lets go with a moth

The suckening

They are all cats. I mean c’mon. Emizel is a feral street cat that hisses at everyone who gets too close. Shilo is an indoor cat with an anxiety disorder. Arthur is their mother. Im correct.

[obsidiancreates]

OBSESSING over the concept of the DHMIS guys having been real people (I mean not real people as in Humans but real people as in Still Puppets But Living Actually Normal Lives) before they got like, suddenly snatched by some Being into their little world, and their families have been searching for them for years. And one day they manage to free them! All of a sudden Red Guy and Duck and Yellow Guy have names and personal histories and time is passing in a linear fashion and they don't know how to handle it.

They don't remember any of it. These people are strangers to them. This world is a strange one.

Red Guy has a brother and sister who now have to take care of him, because he can't seem to adapt back to his old life. He used to have a real job and his own apartment and a very average life, and now he gets anxious when he's home too long, but also when he's out too long, and he gets anxious when the day passes without someone singing something but he gets anxious when the singing goes on too long. I also think it'd be fun if he's a more vibrant shade of red than he used to be. His siblings are younger and they tell him about who he used to be and he can't connect with any of it.

Yellow Guy lives with his mom and older brother. His older brother is older by quite a few years, old enough to kind of stand in as a dad since their dad is gone (it's not Roy, his mother never knew any Roys). He used to be a bright kid, maybe not the smartest ever, but he wasn't... like this. They keep having to intervene because he has no concept of Permanent Consequence anymore. He doesn't seem to understand Injury anymore. "But it'll go away," he says when his mother takes a knife away from him after he was running around with it. "Everything goes away. ... Mummy, where are my friends?"

Duck had a partner, apparently, and a niece. His sibling doesn't visit often, but his niece does. She says it makes her parent too upset to see him when he doesn't remember them. He says they need to get over it, who can remember things that happened before today anyway? But suddenly he can, and he starts having a hard time with it. "It's too much remembering!" he squawks. "How am I meant to keep track of it all if every day I know what happened before I went to sleep?!"

And all three keep asking about each other.

"Where're the other two?" Red Guy (he never remembers his name, and usually doesn't respond to it, and the same can be said of Duck and Yellow Guy) asks one say. "The smallest one usually sits somewhere around there, and uh, the other one, right about there. Where've they gone?"

"I miss my friends," Yellow Guy whines one day. "He told me about the military, and-and I miss that. And he's supposed to sit right there, and-and the tallest one is supposed to sit there! Did they leave me alone?"

"At least the other two weren't so dull," Duck grunts one day while doing a crossword (well, trying to, and struggling with such easy hints that it makes his partner feel sick). "Even when they tried to be. What? No, I don't know any specific stories. What a strange thing to ask someone."

The families do decide to chance a supervised meeting of the three a few months after getting them back.

The shift is strange. Red Guy is less anxious, but also more irritable. Yellow Guy is happier, but more afraid. Duck is content but more demanding. And they all sit there, acting so comfortable and yet so... strange. Like they're just... waiting. Biding time for something. The whole room feels still, stifled, and their families find themselves feeling the anxiety and confusion and irritation that the three usual display.

When all three are together there's just this.... uncanniness, to the air. The colors are brighter, in a way that hurts the eyes. The silence is thicker, and the sounds that cut through are sharper. Everything feels poised to collapse, a choking and stifling feeling that makes their families dizzy. And they sit in it and seem more comfortable than they've been since their rescue, if not for the way they keep checking around the room in almost grim expectation.

But nothing comes. So their families finally say it's time to go again.

"But we're not supposed to split up," Yellow Guy pleads.

"Stuff usually goes a bit off when we do that," Red Guy says flatly, but there's an undercurrent of stress to it.

"We'll be perfectly fine right here, thank you," Duck says stiffly. "We don't even know you freaks."

But at the same time they let themselves be dragged off like they have no other choice, no ability to fight back, until they're all back at their own homes with promises that they'll see the others again sometime.

One day the phone rings in Duck's house and he goes still. He walks towards it slowly, and picks it up with shaky hands. It's Red Guy, his partner (if they're really his partner anymore, they still love him and want him to get better but it's clear the person they were in a relationship with may never return) deduces from the muffled voice. It's shaky, and Duck's reply is shaky too.

"Is this real?" they hear Red Guy's voice say through the phone.

"I don't know," Duck says back. "It always feels like it is."

Maybe getting them out of there wasn't enough. Maybe their missing family brought some of that strange place back with them. Maybe they left something behind.

And no matter what kind of day it is, if it's a mild day with few episodes or a day full of confusion and panic, there's one very strong constant. When something happen that spikes their fear, when something makes them frightened or just simply uneasy, there's one form of comfort they always refuse.

Don't hug them. They're scared.

[hugheswritetr]

Unforgettable

MASTERLIST

Heartbeat | Jack Hughes

Author’s note: my fav chapter so far;)

Song: Unforgettable- French Montana

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Thalia’s POV

The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and i finally found the comfortable position to tan.

I haven’t got much time to tan during this summer, always running around, spending time with family or Luke.

I try to fill my free time with them as much as possible, knowing that once the summer ends, I am returning to Switzerland for my last year of boarding school.

But back to my tanning, If you didn’t notice, I am really enjoying the time for myself.

I just wish the process was faster, because I want the tan lines right now . Oh how I love being a girl.

My mom is cooking lunch with Ellen, so the Hughes family is over. Luke finally returned from his tournament, and it couldn’t be more perfect. The only two people who can’t share my enthusiasm are Quinn and Mattheo.

They are groaning few feet from me, laying on the outdoor sofa with ice packs on their heads. Thats what underage drinking does to you, my friend.

I can faintly hear Luke and Jack shouting at eachother as they play football, the ball nearly hit me a few times, but because of how good I feel right now, I can’t imagine myself caring.

After my mini breakdown I endured yesterday, today is a perfect calming day. My nerves settled down a bit after the talk with Jack, and I feel lighter.

Sure, I still have some anxiety left but I know I have a lot of time to figure it out. Nobody has it figured out at the age I am at, and I know that by then I will be calm and collected.

I hope.

My train of thoughts is stopped when I suddenly do not feel the sun on my face. I open my eyes and see Jack standing over me. I would start cussing him out, but today is a great day, so I choose not to.

But the words he says take me by surprise.

“Scoot over” he instructs me, and I free some space for him on the towel. “What do you want, Jack?” I suspiciously ask.

“Just want to spend some time with my friend, is that a crime ?” he chuckles. I look at him, and see no sarcasm in his eyes. He settles down beside me, the skin contact making me shiver. Why is he wearing no shirt? Thank god he isn’t tho, at least I have something to look at.

I stare, no shame in that. The hard ridges of his abs on the tanned skin are making it impossible not to. “Take a picture, it will last longer”he says, noticing my stare. Okay, I feel shame now, but I do not regret it, the sight was pleasant, not going to lie. So sue a girl for looking.

I am sure I look like an apple right now, and the embarrassment surges through me. “ I wasn’t looking” I say, trying to save at least a bit of dignity I have left.

“Please, Lils, let’s stop lying to ourselves “ he laughs and I scoff at the cocky asshole. He knows what he is doing.

We once again settle into comfortable silence, just sitting beside eachother.

He is one of the few people I actually enjoy spending time with in silence, just soaking up him and his energy.

“So tell me about the girlfriend” I suddenly ask, circling back to the words he said to me at the draft, even though a long time passed since that, it’s still on my mind.

It pains me, but I know that Jack Hughes will always be here for me to admire, not to have. I just hope he finds someone who understands his soul and his body, the way he deserves to be understood.

“Avery? What about her?” he confusedly replies, waiting for me to clarify. “You told me about her at the draft” I recall.

“Oh, yeah, sorry I forgot” he apologises, but continues “She’s great, we have been together since my birthday, so I think we’re doing good” the smile on his face when he is talking about her making my heart break more and more.

“I’m happy for you Jack, you deserve all the best” when I turn to look at him, he’s already looking at me, smiling. “Thank you Lils” he softly smiles and throws his arm around me.

I’m grateful that there are no powers that allow others to read my mind, because all I can think about is wanting him to speak about me. I know it’s dumb, but the charm of Jack Hughes has still not left me. I don’t even think it will leave , ever.

I think about Avery, already feeling the distaste for her, but deep down I know it’s just jealousy. Jealousy about her having him, and not me. She may be a great girl, but I can’t help myself.

That is something I will have to get used to by having Jack in my life, I mean, how can you NOT fall for him? I don’t think that is possible. And if it is, I need a tutorial right now.

There is no possibility that anyone who hears his voice, sees his smile, and gets to know his character will not feel love for him. And once again, if you don’t, please pull me out of this misery and tell me how.

I still remember the first summer living in Michigan, the first time I met him. The second I saw those ocean eyes, I knew I was goner.

The second I felt my hands on his skin, making them tingle, I knew he would be forever imprinted on my mind.

The second his signature toothy smile made appearance on his face, I knew I would do everything possible to be cause of it.

He stole my heart, and I don’t think I will get it back. I also think i’m fine with that, part of my heart being a small price to pay for his presence in my life.

I notice Luke walking up to us, he left to check on the dinner, the teenage boy appetite making him already hungry. I like to tease him about it, but that’s another thing im jealous of, non stop eating and not gaining a pound. If I even breathed the amount he eats, I would be ten pounds heavier.

Okay, I’m lying, I eat the same amount, especially when I’m having mental breakdown about the latest show I’m obsessing over.

Luke plops down next to us “What are you talking about?” curisously asking. “My girlfriend” Luke scoffs, I look strangely at him, and he rolls his eyes. I’m definitely going to ask him questions.

Jack notices his reaction, and scoffs too “I don’t get why you don’t like her, she’s been nothing but nice to you” he says, defending her, making the ache in my chest present again.

“Yeah, sure” Luke answers him, not wanting to talk about her for minute more. Okay, now I’m definitely curious.

I shift the conversation, not wanting to feel the uncomfortable silence longer “Luke, do you want to play volleyball?” I say, actually hoping to press him for details, but I forget that Jacks needs to be centre for everything.

“ No invite for me?” he frowns. Luke and me answer at the same time “No”, “Sure, but I want Luke on my team” . The answer I give him making him gain attitude “I’m much better player than Luke”

I answer him with laugh as I leave to get the ball “Sure Jack, hope you enjoy living in delusions”. Let me tell you a secret, he is better player than Luke, but I love annoying him.

He shouts after me, but I just laugh.

I stay in the supply room a little longer, needing to cool down my blushing cheeks, but the cause of my blushing problem once again appears.

“Having trouble finding the ball?” he asks, stepping into the room with me. “Not at all” I turn around about to reach for it, but he decides to do the same, and closes the proximity between us by pressing his front into my back.

I instantly pull away, the blush I originally had, and I don’t even know how it’s possible, worsening even more.

Why am I still blushing? Seriously, my face needs to get it together. Man up, we can’t embarrass ourselves more, I internally speak to myself and my face.

Yeah, I know these are the signs of starting insanity, but we are going to ignore it for now.

Jack coughs beside me, making me pull myself from my thoughts. “Went to Wonderland?” he teasingly asks.

I dismiss him with a shake of the head and leave the room.

When I return to Luke, he suspiciously looks at me, and then at Jack trailing behind me.

,,What took you two so long?” he asks, suspicion evident in his voice.

,,Nothing, let’s play” I say, hoping to stop his thoughts from wandering too much.

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I always considered myself great at volleyball, but how embarrasingly we are losing right now to Jack is almost making me rethink that statement.

But I’m not a quitter, and Luke isn’t one either, and we know that we are going to win this.

Because if not, this is going to get embarrassing real fast. But it won’t, because I wouldn’t let Jack’s ego rise more. Someone needs to seriously humble that man, and that someone is going to be me.

That is one of the main reasons I’m sweating like a pig right now, because there is no chance he is going to win, and if he is, it’s going to be over my dead body.

I don’t know what was I thinking wanting to play volleyball with two hockey players, because their stamina is much better than mine, hell, they didn’t even break a sweat yet.

I’m aware of how unattractive I look right now, but I don’t even care, the sole goal is to win the game and then shower.

“Wishing you chose me, huh Lils?” Jack chirps from the other side in a true hockey boy nature.

“Not at all” I answer him, one thing I’m not going to admit is me being wrong. My competitivness matches Jack’s own one and I think if volleyball scouts were here, they would choose us on the spot.

My poor Luke is in the middle of our ego match, I feel bad about screaming at him about every mistake he makes, but I will not lose to Jack. Luke will get his apology later.

The only boy matching my screams is the one infront of me, screaming obscenities at the poor ball whenever something doesn’t go his way.

I think today the universe is on my side, because when I do the winning move, my ego rises a few feet.

“Ha!” I laugh at Jack sitting defeatedly on his knees, between catching my breaths.

Luke does not even stay to clap me on my back, I’m sure he is going to Ellen for her to comfort him about how we were yelling at him. He’s SUCH a mamas boy (don’t tell him I said that).

Suddenly there’s a hand stretched infront of me, Jack’s hand to be particular. I don’t take it, smirking as I stand up even though I have about two cramps in each leg, but he doesn’t know that.

I’m certainly not going to shorten my ego even by millimetre, duh.

He laughs at me, then he hughs me.

“Congrats on winning, not sure you would win without Luke, but I’m going to let it slide” he says, that asshole. He knows damn well that I carried the team.

I don’t even answer him, my heart set on the shower I’m going to take.

What I don’t know is that by the time I was collecting things in my room for the shower. He beat me to it. In my own house.

But I’m not going to be mad, he deserves at least one win today. I laugh at my thoughts. I always knew I was funny.

If someone finds out what’s up with men and their long showers, let me know. I’m pounding on the door of the bathroom, because I honestly can’t wait no more.

I don’t even get my second pound in at the door, and hes opening them.

Once again, he knows what he is doing. Because he is standing there in all of his bare-chested glory.

Suddenly, my mind is a bottomless pit and my mouth stopped functioning, because I can’t even form and speak one word.

”Cat got your tongue?” he knowingly asks, getting second ego victory that day, dork.

I spare one last look at his chest, of course I’m not going to leave without looking. When he already catched me, I don’t have to hide it.

I push past him for the second time that day. Why does this keep happening to me? Entering the bathroom, I release a sigh.

But when I notice the familiar scent of the bathroom, I know that he used my bodywash, making a smile appear on my face.

He is going to be falling asleep with my scent today. I hope he enjoys thinking about me.

I know I called him delusional today, but I’m starting to think I should have been reflecting that one on myself.

Shutting down my thoughts, I step into the shower, the warm water calming my aching muscles.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

When I step out of shower and I notice the tan I gained, I smile from joy because that was the original plan for today.

The cooling lotion on my skin feels great, and I almost fall asleep from the relaxing effect it has.

Until I smell the scent of the food from downstairs, my stomach now agressively grumbling.

I put on some sundress I fish out from my closet, not even caring what I put on, I just want to fill the void in my stomach.

I braid my drying hair, not wanting to have a side of them with my meal. Men have it so easy with their short hair.

As I sit beside my now hungover-free brother, who is finally not complaining anymore, I notice the happiness radiating from the people around the table, making me smile.

The food is great ( shotout to my mom and Ellen ). Everyone is laughing and I’m winning again, beating Jack once again in our private kicking tournament under the table.

I laugh at him and stick my tongue out, making him smile. At least he is not a sore loser, because that would be sad for him.

He takes all these losses like champ and I think I found my new hobby, winning.

Everything is perfect right now.

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 13-16 Stray Thoughts

Last week, so much happened. Kasuga and Nomoto finally expressed how they feel to each other and have begun dating. Also, since Kasuga's aunt gave her dad her address, Kasuga has decided to move and asked Nomoto to move with her. Nagumo admitted her anxieties around food, and had become Kasuga's confidant. Kasuga and Nomoto also discussed how out they want to be.

Episode 13

I absolutely love opening on Yako and Nagumo being given the update on the relationship progress. It's what they deserve.

Hell yes! Assemble the whole squad for the house party! Is Sayama coming too??

A curry party with naan and lassi actually sounds incredible. I need to host one.

I don't have a lot of friends who also enjoy cooking together, so it's rare I get to work with others except my uncle or mom in the kitchen.

I love that Nagumo wants to participate and try things!

Ladies, please! You are a couple now!

Nagumo having some ice cream feels like a small but important bit of progress.

I like them sending the leftovers with Nagumo so she can try the naan and the curry.

This party was a total success. Few social experiences are better than successfully blending friend groups.

I'm enjoying this show leaning into the transition from friends to a couple.

Episode 14

I want to unpack the sales pitch of beer and marshmallows. Please discuss this in the notes. I think I prefer kick drums and red wine.

First a curry party and now a marshmallow party. This show is a treat.

I really hope that Nagumo actually finds help when she goes to the hospital. Pacing this so that we see her enjoying her time around meals with people so this can be a way for her to participate more has been a good choice.

I love, love, love Kasuga admitting she doesn't have much experience with dating and wanting to talk it through with a friend first. It's hard being queer sometimes because sometimes you just don't get a lot of dating experience in your teens.

Hey, a decent doctor. I am relieved that he gave Nagumo a name for what she may potentially be experiencing, and proposed finding solutions together based on his medical experience and knowledge. I remember being relieved when they finally diagnosed me with my own issues, because now we could treat it.

Unexpected Yako and Nagumo outing! Let's fucking go!!

This show is so kind. I love this because I find that I have decent neighbors almost everywhere I go. My neighbor's kids and my other neighbors' grandkids always run up to tell me about their days when I get home, and we often share kitchen gizmos. Just last week I helped one of the kids with some of their math homework after helping remove junk from his grandmother's shed. Their grandma made me this really nice brownie as a reward.

Yako is awesome. I'm so happy Nagumo stumbled into a group of friends to support her.

Episode 15

Yes! I want to see a strawberry picking date! The festival is coming up in another month and a half here!

I like this work lunch. Even though our pair is together, I am glad we're still checking in with Sayama's experience in the dating pool with men.

How are they going to look for a new place to live when it seems like it's always dark when they get home? This conversation about the physical, emotional, and financial realities of moving was necessary.

This is super cool. I kinda love that they allow folks to experience a part of how their food is made.

Ladybugs are a good sign! They prey on other insect pests.

Oh no. Nomoto is starting to worry that she's not being sensitive to Kasuga's wants.

Episode 16

Hell yes! We're talking it out! It actually can be really difficult when two accommodating people are together.

Looking for housing has gotta be difficult in a city that doesn't provide an overabundance of parking like the US. Trying to find a place that's in walking distance to a station that also has parking is probably going to be impossible.

Yako is right, as usual, but now I'm nervous about this big talk.

Every time there's a personal note from @furritsubs I brace for impact.

"I want you to be selfish in front of me." Thank you for inventing romance, lesbians.

I was touched by Kasuga talking about holding back on saying what she wants because she's never been prioritized.

Fantastic week. This felt so great after all the anticipation of the big ask around Valentine's Day. I'm so happy that Yako and Nagumo are friends, that Nagumo is starting treatment, and our ladies are navigating their relationship together with open communication. Super excited about the potential move next week, and maybe their first kiss.

[garf-lover96]

my long ass elaborate ranking of Will Wood's (and The Tapeworms') albums!! (Everything is a Lot ranking list)

for the purpose of making this i've been listening to this whole album like non stop for the past week. i even made my parents listen to it with me (my mom liked it and said that she'd go to see the songs live if she could!). it was actually pretty difficult to rank all of them but i think the top 3 will remain unchanged forever, they're some of my all time favorites from will wood!! the way i'll do this i think is i'll write down all the things i like about a particular song, maybe a favorite lyric and a favorite moment or something. or just some general rambling. also i split Everything is a Lot into Everything is a Lot and Destroy to Enjoy, like in the remastered album!

———

1. Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones)

first time i heard this song was over a year ago so i can't tell what my exact first impression was but it did almost immediately become my favorite song ever. I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S INSANE. also fun fact, memberoflottiescult really likes this song!

my main thing with this song is that it sounds like?? you know, bones?? it sounds like skeletons. the melody is like something a skeleton would've come up with. i can't explain it but it is hearable. best song ever

2. 6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con)

it was one of the first will's songs i've ever liked on spotify. ughhhh the energy, the general mashing of the piano and it sounding like it's about to fall apart any second lol!! the high ass notes. perfect, so perfect. i was listening to this song while purchasing a meter long plush goose. the song is like a brother to me

my favorite part is the spoken "am i being detained? am i under arrest? read me my rights please! I WANT MY PHONECALL" it's uhfhdfhkf. showstopping

3. White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?)

it took me exactly one (1) full listen to this one to absolutely fall in love with it, holy fuck. one of the best things i've ever heard. every time it's on i have to loop it a few times

my favorite parts are the "i wonder how i woke up in the middle of my surgery and i watched them botch my heart. only the second worst thing that i could've thought was 'this won't have to end if it doesn't start'" and "i'll never know what it's like to love you" because ummm???? the emotion in his voice omfg, i love it when this happens. it's so perfect (reminds me of julian devorak..........)

4. Lygerside Daydream

had me hooked after the first listen as well. i love the melody and i love how the lyrics are written here. i, too, want to blow the seeds of dandelions and wish for nothing more. such a sweet sound. one of my favorites as well. nice to daydream to, ha!!!

5. Front Street

idk how to explain this but the pace of the song, like the way the lyrics are sung is so satisfying. just the sentence structure and stuff.. uhhh i really don't know how to describe this, but i love it a whole lot. the piano melody here is amazing as well it so???? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW it's just good

6. The First Step

so nice to sing along to!!! "and i hope i don't choke on my vomit tonight" and "take my anxiety and my sobriety, i'll kill two birds with one stoner. so if you see me please, take my keys i don't wanna be an organ donor" are my favorite parts:3 so satisfyingly said

7. Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture

one of my first ones too i'm pretty sure. the chorus really pulled me in. fast and fun. i think i showed it to my godfather once. the spanish part scratches my brain so good

8. Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine)

very nice to sing along to as well. i love the melody on the very first verse. i love the part with the piano solo so much

9. Everything is a Lot

i love the melody sooooooo much, "all the moments you've lost, all the money it cost" part is my favorite. shouldn't be overlooked!!!!!

10. Red Moon

i had to come around to it a bit but i actually love it. love the "the constellations form infinite paisleys in the sky" part, such a nice sound. satisfying lyrics in general

11. Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq. G.F.D.

nice to listen to when i want to have something screaming into my ears. loooove the fact that liar liar was sampled in the beginning, i really like that movie. i used to be obsessed with jim carrey also. i binged pretty much all of his movies as a little lad

12. Jimmy Mushrooms' Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ

the kalimba kind of bothered me initially but i got used to it. i enjoy the melody. don't have much to say about it

13. ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic)

it's not horrible by any means, it just kind of doesn't do it for me. i usually skip it

14. Destroy to Enjoy

satisfying rhymes, i prefer not to listen to construction work as a past time

———

this took so long to put together, i kept forgetting about it or rearranging it...

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Izuku "I'm Actually A Sassy Little Shit, So As Soon As I Learn Self-Confidence It's Over For You Bitches" Midoriya does indeed one day gain self-confidence, and suddenly he starts reading villains to filth! And he does it with a patented Aizawa Gremlin Grin!

🥦: 😏 "You know, I get why you're robbing this bank. Dental work is expensive. Trouble is, there isn't enough Yen in Japan to fix your smile. You need a fucking miracle, ok?"

🦹‍♂️: ...😱😢😭

Aizawa has never been more proud of his Problem Child. 😁

BDJDBAIXJ BROOO, I LOVE CONFIDENT IZUKU😭😭 it’s what he deserves. Like, he’s a sarcastic little shit, he just has anxiety. Shouto but with the anxiety filter.

Bakugou: *complaining about being paired up with him*

Izuku: you know what kaachan? I didn’t want my dad to abandon my mom and I either! I certainly didn’t want my “best friend” to ab*se me for over a decade! Sometimes we don’t get what we want! I know this is a shocking concept for you because you yell and someone, usually me, gives you whatever you want, but shockingly enough, I don’t want to work with you either! So, we’re both just going to have to suck it up!

Bakugou:

Class a:

Izuku: :)

I also love him just berating villains poor life choices 😭

Like, some villain is telling him their tragic backstory (Midoriya izuku, quirk: loose lips. People feel compelled to trauma dump whenever in close proximity with him)

Villain: my father never loved me

Izuku: oh I get that! My dad went out for milk when I was a kid, I think he must’ve gotten really lost, because it’s been over a decade and we haven’t heard from him

Villain:

Izuku:

Villain: kid-

Izuku: get therapy and make absent father jokes like the rest of us, don’t throw your life away to prove some piss poor point

Aizawa:

Aizawa: so, Midoriya. I heard that you don’t have a father-

It happens gradually over time and he grows and goes to therapy. Jirou is honestly the one who expected it most because he mutters things a lot and she’s been privy to his sass since the beginning. She’s just proud, and also surprised, that he’s being more vocal about it

The first time anyone sees him do the Aizawa signature smile, they fear for their lives. They shudder. Nezu smiles. Aizawa feels a shift in the tectonic plates that signifies a problem child back on their bullshit (not that they were ever really off their bullshit, but still)

It becomes such a regular occurrence though, that when he does it at the next sports festival, everyone fears for what will come from this monster’s plot. Mic just sees his face and sighs. “Eraser, what are you teaching this one?”

“No no, don’t look at me. He did this by himself. Also Nezu.”

“That’s your face! That’s the logical ruse face that you do!”

“It’s not my fault he’s like that!”

“No, you’re just his home room teacher, why would it be your fault what he’s learned…”

“Some kids just come with an extra side of crazy, it’s not the teachers fault. Did I nurture that crazy? Yes, absolutely. And I’m glad I did. Am I glad that it got introduced to nezu? No, absolutely fucking not”

Midnight stops then there.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Freefall Masterlist

Meeting His Family

"It's going to be okay," Charles is trying to assure me, pulling his Ferrari up to his childhood home. "It's just my family."

I can't help but scoff. This idiot.

"It's your family Charles, they're important," I disagree. "I hate that we have to lie to them."

He sighs, and in the depth of it I can tell he hates this too. I know his family is everything for him. Taking my hand, he runs it over with his thumb, thinking silently. Until he's no longer silent.

"Then don't."

"What? I have no idea where you're going with this."

"Pretend for a few hours that this isn't fake and for the media. Pretend that you are actually interested in me romantically on your own accord," He suggests, looking up from our hands to my eyes. "Soyez ma petite amie." (Be my girlfriend.)

"D'accord," (Okay,) I breath out, hating the effect he has on me after only three weeks.

"Frère! Maman veut que toi et ta copine vous dépêchez! (Brother! Mom wants you and your girl to hurry along)," I can hear a voice yell from the direction of the front door, looking away from Charles eyes and towards a younger version of himself.

"My ever eager brother," Charles explains, shaking his head with a laugh and moving from his seat, rounding the car to open my door, helping me out with a hand.

"There she is!" Arthur yells this time, a cheeky smile on his face. "La princesse du sport automobile américain."

"What did he just call me?" I ask Charles in a whisper, his arm around my waist, and I hate how good it feels. He chuckles, mumbling something about how we need to teach me some more French, but translates regardless. "He called you the princess of American motorsport."

"Oooh, I like that!" I can't help but giggle, smiling between the brothers. "You must be Arthur! I've heard so much about you!" I greet the younger, who somehow is also older than I am, even if he doesn't look it.

"And I you, princesse," He greets in return, taking my hand when we're close enough and kissing the back of it, earning a grunt from his brother, who pulls me further into his side.

"Arthur," The name comes with an edge of warning that makes me laugh.

"Charles, don't be dour with him, he's just being nice," I try to cool, placing my hand on his arm, glancing up on him with my best puppy dog eyes.

"Qu'est-ce que - oh, vous les avez trouvés (what is - oh, you did find them)," An older version of the boys in front of me appears, a smile on his face when he sees Charles and I. "You must be Lynnleigh, my name is Lorenzo."

"My elder brother," Charles further explains, Lorenzo reaching out and shaking my hand.

"Come on in, Maman is getting... what's the word? Angsty?"

"I believe you're looking for antsy," I offer, having a hard time imagining Pascale as angsty after all the glowing stories I've heard. "It means similar to anxious, anxieuse," I elaborate, Charles having taught me anxieuse after my anxiety attack our first encounter with the paps.

"Yes, thank you," He thanks, smiling softly as Charles hand pulls from my back to my hand. "Please, come in. Our mother is dying to meet you, and so are Charlotte and Carla."

"Our girlfriends," Arthur elaborates, probably catching the glance I had given Charles. "You'll all get along well, don't worry."

"Charles, chérie, c'est toi ?" (Charles, honey is that you?) A women's voice can be heard as we enter and I can feel Charles squeaze my hand, garnering my attention to his face, his smile wide as we make eye contact. And I can't help but smile, because he's genuinely happy to see his mother. A mamma's boy.

"Oui maman, nous sommes là," (Yes mama, we are here) He calls back, following Lorenzo around a corner and into what is the kitchen, a blonde women smiling brightly at the island, the knife in her hand meeting the counter quickly as she rounds it.

Charles is just as quick in releasing my hand and meeting his mother in the middle, the smile on my face threatening to break it.

"Tu m'as manqué," (I have missed you) Charles mumbles, eyes shut into the hug.

"Tu m'as encore plus manqué," (I have missed you more) Is Pascale's response, eyes also shut until they separate, the woman's kind eyes meeting my own. "And you must be Lynnleigh."

"C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer," (It's a pleasure to meet you) Is my response in some of the very little French that I have managed to learn in the last two weeks.

"Where did you learn that?" Charles is the one to ask, intrigued.

I can't help but blush, embarrassed with what my answer is. "Duolingo, that app with the little green owl."

"I appreciate the effort," Pascale thanks, placing her hands on my shoulders and giving me a look over, "Can I hug you? Charles has mentioned so much of you," She requests, and all I can do is nod, still processing the last half of her sentence. Charles talks about me?

"Why were we not informed that the guest of honor was here!" A woman's voice exclaims, two rounding the corner, the one that had spoken shoving Arthur.

"Hey! Rude," He grumbles, and it's so garbled that it's clear he had almost spoken in French.

"Is everyone... speaking in English for me?" I can't help but whisper to Charles, his presence having rejoined my side. "That was basically a mixture of French and English."

"We're doing our best, it's funny in a way, I don't believe I've ever spoken to my brothers in English," He answers, ending it with a peck to my head with just enough time to spare for him to pull away before I'm pulled into a hug by the older of the two brunettes.

"It's so great to meet you Lynnleigh, Charles has told Lorenzo and I so much about you, I'm Charlotte," She greets, pulling away and giving room for Carla to do the same.

"And I'm Carla. Art has already assured me we're going to get along well," She explains before adding in a whisper, "I don't know how he decided that in 5 minutes, but he is something else," making me laugh as said boy scoffs in insult.

"And to think I thought the three of us could be best friends," Arthur grumbles, poking at Carla's sides while pulling her into his body, her giggling and the pair making my face light up.

"I promise they are always like this," Pascale assures, pulling her apron over her head and setting it to the side, joining Charles at my side. "You two arrived just on time! I just finished the stocafi and barbajuan," She excitedly shares, placing her hand on my back and leading the way to the dining table, filled to the brim with food I'd never seen. Pascale's hand is replaced by her middle son's, his hand sitting lower as he pulls out my chair, pushing it in once I've sat and taking his own beside me, hand on my thigh.

"What is stocafi? Barbajuan?" I whisper, hoping Pascale did not hear.

"She knows you don't eat meat, so she made stocafi, which is a ... what's the word? Ah, dried, cod that has a tomato sauce with olives and vegetables, and barbajuan is a fried fluffy pastry filled with chard, ricotta and leeks," He explains, pouring some wine into my glass as the bottle is passed around the table, the spread looking divine and my nerves from earlier completely gone.

I can't help but look to Charles catching my eye and smiling brightly, unoccupied hand squeezing my thigh.

And I realize why it's been so easy to be convincing to his family, why it's been so easy to act like this is real.

Because to me, it is.

liked by will_hamlin, charles_leclerc and 1,468 others

lynleigh.earnhardt thank you pascale.leclerc.355 for allowing me the absolute joy of joining you and your boys for your annual pre-Monaco GP family dinner. I will forever be grateful for your warm welcome and kind words. tu es le meilleur type de femme et de mère

and thank you to lorenzotl and arthur_leclerc for letting me steal your ladies for girl talk

pascale.leclerc.355 you will forever be welcome in our home sweet girl, i look forward to spending the grand prix with you tomorrow!

charles_leclerc mon amor, where did you get that last photo?

lynnleigh.earnhardt your maman showed me some old photo albums while you and your brothers went to pick up dessert 😘

[mueritos]

The fact that my mother who is Hispanic who believes in god and I have come out to (which we still don’t talk about) worries one day I won’t come home because I’m just going to an lgbt event (concert,bar, art event) and she is afraid of me being gunned down and hunted. She isn’t homophobic or transphobic anymore but she isn’t accepting either…she just tells me to look for the exists and have an escape plan before hand…what is this reality…like what the actual fuck

i have the same experience. my mother isnt homophobic but shes still unlearning a lot. but there was a lot of back and forth from her between me and my twin because we were working a pride event in our hometown and she believed that someone would show up and massacre. it's an unfortunate united statian fear (i am going to assume youre from the US here because what other country is as fucked about mass shootings than the US), that is grounded in reality, but immigrant parents also have an insane paranoia and it is often what prevents us (and their children) from living their fullest lives. I used to live in daily fear because my parents made it seem like 1. staying home with family is the best way to be safe 2. never leaving the family is the best way to stay safe 3. depending on the family is the best way to be safe. This gets in the way of daily life, and I used to believe being safe was the most important thing to me, even if it meant taking the bare minimum just because it was "safest" (or more like, the safest to my parents). I missed out on fuller opportunities because I put my parent's version of safety over my need to be a person.

I cannot tell anyone how to live their life, and your mom's fears are real just like any other united statian--but I physically cannot live my life thinking something bad must happen to me just because I left the confines of my home. Yet at the same time, there exists a genuine anxiety and fear anytime I do leave my home that maybe something or someone will find me.

Keep yourself safe by doing what you feel does that best. Take some self defence classes so that you can train your body and mind to emergency scenarios. Make escape plans with friends or groups. But if you only focus on the danger, you lose sight of the light and love that life has to offer. It is, however, a difficult balance to maintain considering the state of the US.