#my mom and i both want to so badly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

samarecharm · 10 months

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Ryuji having the worst bi crisis of his fucking life bc his mom just had to fucking ask “oh, whats this young ladys name?” when he showed her a picture of Akira petting Morgana. Like okay yeah Akira is like objectively pretty, hes like the Classic Delicate Pretty Boy just like Yusuke which is like whatever; straight dudes have eyes, and they know what women like to see. But now hes like. Seeing things he likes in girls IN Akira now and he cant make it Stop like its genuinely keeping him up at night 😭

Pretty boy used to be A Face that would come up in his mind when he thought of the term. There was no specifics in mind, just like. Pretty Boy. Pretty boy! You say that and theres like a Face Template that shows up in ur minds eye and hed just attribute that to any dude who was like Vaguely Pretty. But now its Akira 😭 and he finds himself cataloging things that Akira does that he KNOWS he finds cute when girls do it. The hairtuck behind the ears. The headtilt when he mishears a question. The Actually Pretty Doe Eyes. The breathy, nearly inaudible chuckle he does in place of a Real laugh (thats made better by the fact that its so hard to get him to laugh in the first place). He likes cute snacks. He blushes easily. Ryuji is sitting here like ‘theres no fucking way man. Like theres just no way. That shit makes NO sense (a lie)’ lying in bed in the middle of the night looking like this vvvv w his phone in his hands (looking at pictures of akira)

It drives him insane bc like he did Not see any of these things as like inherently girly or whatever. Like thats just akira thats just his bro! And he does OTHER weird shit that cancels all that shit out. Hes like a messy engineer/tinkerer, he rolls out of bed and whatever situation his hair is is everyones problem. He wears that AWFUL gym uniform and doesnt tweak it AT ALL?? He likes baseball?? hes got a whole binder of trading cards that he will show off if u show any moment of weakness. Like hes just Some Dude but also manages to be Some Girl at the same time and Ryuji is like thats not fair. Life sucked ass but at least it made sense before Akira stumbled into it 😭

#persona 5 #pegoryu #akiryu #chattin #long post #THIS one is almost a year old lmao its been in my drafts for a while #i at least tagged it as pegoryu before running away cutely so i think i was finished ??? well now i am throwing it into the world #anyway. akira is the guy ever. and ryuji is exploding #‘i have died. badly’#i like thinking of akira like this; hes ryujis first exposure to nb ppl and gnc adjacent stuff #even if akira is p masc by most standards hes still got a bit of. aloofness. about his gender stuffs #ryuji is just really into the way akira carries himself #and it takes him a while to go oh. oh i think its cause i like this dude #um.#😳.#also i wanted to clarify #but ryujis mom just doesnt know Who akira is in that picture #and in my head hes like. looking down at mona and petting him (while sitting)#(AND hes with ann and theyre both kind of a distance away from the camera)#so at a quick glance; hes just Some Girl #and even though shes wrong; it kicks off the mental chaos olympics in ryujis head #‘what hes not a girl’ to ‘where would she even get that from’ to ‘well akira said himself he didnt rlly care what ppl thought about it’#to ‘well. where DID she get that from?’ to lookin at what his homie does a little closer to ‘aw fuck. man.’#but i love that for him #ALSO. RYU/GORO IN TAGS…..#but ryuji going oh my GOD oh my godddd 😨😓😓😓 when something clicks in his head about goro #his voice is so practiced and naturally softspoken and his public facing persona is very demure #and once he gets past the initial anger over goro being a pompous prick who shittalks about the thieves. hes like. god fucking dammit.#There Is A Pattern and A Type He Has and Its Killing Him To Realize it.#hes literally sitting in his room w his head in his hands

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novelconcepts · 7 months

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If I had a nickel for every Turner matriarch who—despite being desperately unhinged due to Trauma—believes herself the sanest person in the room while also being just awful to her spouse, I’d have two nickels. Which. Isn’t a lot, but Lauren Ambrose is personally present to facilitate both transactions.

#yellowjackets #servant #taissa and dorothy having the same last name and both wanting to be Perfect and Excellent Moms #while also disassociating so badly that they wreck their families #AND Lauren Ambrose being in the center of the diagram as both Turner and love interest #peak comedy #although if Van ever met Dorothy I don’t even think she’d talk to her #I think it would just be hands in the air and baaaacking away slowly #‘tai I can handle. whatever you’ve got goin on is a whoooole other pack of pokemon cards my dude’

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im-smart-i-swear · 5 months

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guy trapped in a hell of his own creation: haha ive never done anything wrong in my entire life. and im always right:] anyway. why did my little brother move out:(

its so funny to me that at first glance tashi seems like hed be the most 'normal' out of all the clones but at least all the others are slowly healing n shit while hes just getting more and more insane each day and one day hell snap and explode and maim someone

#my art #my funky guys #HES SO FUCKING STUPID.#tashi im sorry ily but youre literally the dumbes fucking motherfucker ive ever seen. and a cringe loser. never change king<3 #like. this guy realised he was a clone when he was a month old and decided to base his new personality entirely #on the idealised version of the original he made up in his head.#like he did this to himself!!! he chose to revolve his entire personality around being a 'perfect flawless mom friend'!!!!!!!#in his head hes like the most selfless & altruistic person to ever walk the earth but in reality hes a sad selfish mess who just wants to #be loved.#he started out as a pretty nice and level headed guy who wanted to help ppl but then it just spiraled when he made that his entire #personality bc of his inability to move on from a lie he really wanted to be true.#he percieves shiro as this perfect flawless leader figure and he wants DESPERATELY to imitate that. deep down its not enough for him to #simply coparent and share responsibility w the others. no no no he has to be The Leader and do everything himself!#this mindset results in him later on starting to dismiss and undervalue his familys work and commitment to keeping them all alive-#esp soup. like sHE WAS THERE W HIM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THEY ARE EQUALS THEY ARE BOTH EQUALLY IMPORTRANT #AND HES SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE FORGOT. somewhere along the line he forgot. he missed the point. he spiraled too deep.#and he knows. he knows but hes so terrified of change and growth and admitting he CANT do this alone.#he wants to be a cool epic capable solo leader AND he craves family and connection soooo badly he cant live w/o his loved ones.#so yeah. hes an angry little pathetic freak<3 i love him #despite all that hes not a bad person. just a flawed guy thrown into a situation so stressful and traumatising that he clinged to the only #coping mechanism he had at the time and just sorta. ran with it.#dw he gets better tho! it takes a lot and his and sticks relationship is strained for a LONG time but he slowly gets better. good for him

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readymades2002 · 2 months

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trying to do some financial math for if i move out and getting sick to my stomach

#ohhhhhhhhh god. oh christ alive.#my problem is that my discipline used to be great when i was both severely depressed/agoraphobic AND unemployed #and stopped wanting for things altogether. not the case anymore #wanting for things usually being...eating during or after work or getting a ride to go somewhere nice for a bit. whatever #i think its...DOABLE theoretically but im like. um. nervous #asked my manager for full time hours which im already kicking myself over but well if i want to get out of here #and i do so so so fucking badly #then. things have to change #struggling hard. i hate change and i hate making decisions especially ones i have yet to tell my mom about #NUMBER of things keeping me from acting quite yet but thats probably the worst is the thought of telling her #i dont know...how financially me moving out is going to work for her and my brother (who also wants to move eventually)#and i dont...i dont want to leave them here to drown #but i cant DO IT ANYMORE MAN if i dont try to get out i never will and the despair of being stuck here has done IMMENSE damage #to me over the last few weeks particularly after being able to envision a future where things are different #thinking about getting out of here gives me the energy to do things. i want to get out. i NEED to get OUT #god i really should just start making the body of the post the title and then writing the tags where the post should go #this is not how blogging works generally. embarrassing. well it probably wont change because i dont care enough

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lesenbyan · 2 months

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Scientists: want so badly for adult children who are friends with and/or still dependant on parents for money or a roof to be Bad that they are intentionally looking for detriment in the study results

Study results: so overwhelmingly positive they can't actually find the data needed to twist the narrative

Scientists: >:|

#i read an article #the article was pro kid/parent friendship and dependance bc MANY studies have shown that's beneficial to both sides #but people want SO BADLY to believe the fiction of Independence and it's necessarity that they think parents who still #care about and frequently talk to their grown kids are causing codependency and setting them up for failure and like #not inherently #living with my mother was super beneficial and i still would be if he wasn't anti ever living in MO again and i anti livinf in TX until #it's again a state i can comfortably live in as a trans person #like if i lived with my dad and step mom there'd be reason to question bc while he's gotten better she's just as bad #and expects me to sit down and take emotional abuse and revisionist history from my father's memories of abusive days #whereas dad will thank me for calling him out once he gets over the understandable moment of hurt in realizing what he thoughr was helping #one of his kids was actually hugely painful and detrimental #but also me asking my father for money isn't a danger to my independence it's a sign of the failure of the system #it's not a ''failure to launch'' it's a 'the system and economy are so broken it is literally impossible to get on your feet on your own'#like come off it #look at other societies and multigenerational homes #are they suffering for it? no! then why would we be????#like if you raise a child and all but evict them from your life when they're 18 then like. do you actually love them? do you actually care?#or did you feel like children was an obligation and now it's over and they only matter for holidays and birthdays?#bc the latter is much more of an issue than adult kids '''''boomeranging''''''

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bugmistake · 3 months

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my birthday is in less than a week i literally feel like im gonna barf. what the hell and also fuck in addition to that as well.

#my birthdays make me feel so lonely and weird! and existentially freaked out!#i spend my whole birthday feeling like i'm supposed to have fun and then i don't have fun because i want to be having fun too badly #im having dinner with my mom and grandma the night before but god i like. really kind of don't want to.#because they're both gonna make me anxious and get on my nerves and then i'm gonna feel bad for getting annoyed with my family when they're #simply just trying to do something sweet for me! aaaaaaaack. ack! i haven't like really looked forward to my birthday since i was like...12 #comin up on 24? not a great track record tbh. im no statistician but god freakin dang that's not a great one!

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astonmartingf · 4 months

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it was my birthday yesterday and i was sick sick, cried three times, barely functioning and powering through laboratory work and managed to pass a quiz i definitely didn't study for 👍

#amgf is yapping. . .#now i'm feeling better also because i don't consent to being sick i have shit to get done both here and irl and i dont have time for this #i could've gotten better earlier but we had tests done and i wasn't about to get false-positive and false-negative results due to medication #i have exams tomorrow and i have research to do and i want to write so badly i have another nando thought #also!!!! my earphones stopped working 🥹 can't this week get any better? actually it is getting better because the week is about to end #and i can't wait to go home watch the gp and do whatever atp #i woke up to my mom sending me a birthday message and cried while taking a warm shower it was so awesome i regulated my emotions vv well #i still have more to do so maybe this weekend i can do some updates and stuff hopefully 🤞

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miss--river · 6 months

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#i just want a good mom #i get so pissed off when i see people having good relationships with their parents #because i want that too #both of my parents are terrible people #if i didnt live with my mom i wouldnt need therapy so badly i think #but as long as i live with her i'll never be truely happy #i cant afford to leave right now though #if i ever get the chance though i dont give a fuck what happens to her after i leave #because i no longer want to associate with her

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cherrygarden · 6 months

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#i hate being more financially responsible than my parents #I HATE IT #like i've lived through them obsessing over bills and having our services cut many many times and risk our shit being taken from us #and have to listen to my dad making phone calls begging for money from friends and how humilliating that is #and now we're doing a little better but i was raised with that stress and that just doesnt go away #and i see them spend money on shit we don't need and that would be fine if we didn't still have many debts and health issues we keep postpo #postponing bc we don't have money #and since my exchange i've been feeling so guilty about how much money it cost them #and ive talked to them about it when i was applying to give them the chance to tell me no and reconsider #and during it bc i felt like the worst person alive for needing to eat #and after bc i put them in so much debt with my uni that i can't enroll for this semester #and so much shit has happened and ive been feeling guilty and a waste of money and space and most of the time i feel like a shell of myself #and they see it but they dont know what to do because instead of comforting me ever they just put me in a psychologist's office #and just now my mom smiled at me and told me that since they weren't able to give me any presents last year they were talking #and wanted to buy me tickets for lollapalooza this weekend #and i want to go so badly and i entered so many giveaways and stuff but i didnt win so i was also sad about that #but i just looked at her like 😐 because we are definitely not in a financial situation to be spending money like that #like i appreciate the gesture but i've taken enough from them and i already feel guilty #i told her i would feel guilty and wouldn't enjoy it bc they literally don't have the money #and she said ''oh we just can't pay the full amount that we owe right now but we have enough''#???? then put the money on a savings account????? not spend it because you have '''extra'''#which you dont even have!!!!! i told her to prioritise our health bc we all have to get blood work done and exams and multiple doctors and #our general bills!!! like there's more important things that would put me more at ease than a concert which yes would have made me happy #but not like this and not when it's a present out of guilt and inability to know me #and i was crying and she was sad at my reaction and i had to apologise for not accepting it and being like this #literally told her ''i also wish i wasnt like this'' and she said nothing #so that was a fun start to my day :)))))))))#i hate that she thought it was a good idea and i hate that i had to say no #at least i didn't say any of the hurtful things that went through my head so i'll take it as a win #it sucks that we both feel guilty over the uni situation becuase we're both equally at fault

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nolivingdudeami · 1 year

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in need of prayers (see tags)

#my mom and i are going on a week-long vacation next week and we already have trouble getting along #when we're not in constant close quarters #it's going to be a miracle if we come out of this thing still being able to bear each other's presence :)))#in other words..... please pray for us #i have so much trouble controlling my words and actions around her #i fully acknowledge that it's not a her problem but a both of us problem #she's also recently started crying when i get #so like. that's really not good.#i want to be kind and loving around her so badly #but it's so hard and i'm sick of how hard it is #i can't have a genuine heart-felt convo with her or share anything personal #the funny thing is that one of my best friends wanted to roadtrip with me to where mom and i are going #but if i chose that over my mom then there would be hell to pay #anyway. every day with my mom is a struggle.#and the devil sees that and is trying to get me to be so nasty to her all the time #i need prayers. all i want is for this vacation to be pleasant for both of us.#***sorry i meant to say 'difficult' at the end of the tag about my mom crying

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sherlock-is-ace · 2 years

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#a little bit of a happy rant... (can rants be happy? if not i don't know the word then lol)#a while ago when i was deep diving into autism research because i'm 98% sure i'm autistic #i told my mom this and i also told her i wanted to go see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed #bad idea cause my mom is the type of person who thinks ''everyone is a little autistic'' which is stupid but anyways she didn't believe me #she thinks putting labels on things is bad and we shouldn't do it #but this is not a fun label... this is an actual diagnosis!!#i digress. the point is that i stoped talking about it because i don't have the energy or desire to try to convince my mother #that i know what goes on inside my brain.#but my brother! My brother is a sweetheart #he seems like he doesn't give a shit about anything but every now and then he will drop the cutest most affirming comments #(he did that when i came out as trans too)#i'm sure my brother has adhd if not autism or possibly both so maybe he has looked it up before or at least understands it better #but like for christmas he wanted to get me a weighted blanket because i'm always talking about how i need preassure and weight on me #and also that i like rocking myself to sleep (i need one of those automatic rocking chairs for babies but like adult size)#anyways he aknowledges (let's pretend i can spell that word) what i said and my suspicions of autism #today the noise of a tiny bit of air escaping from a badly close bottle lid was annoying me #i wasn't in the room i may add #when i complained my mom was like ''damn! that hearing!'' or somthing like that #and my brother. very casually said ''it's the autism'' which made me so fucking happy that is the first time someone fucking believes me!#but then my mom went ''naaah there's no autism here'' (or somthing amongst those lines) which took my excitement aways #but anyways i love my brother and his casual support <3 #angel talks #personal

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lilgynt · 1 year

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#personal #my mom told me yesterday my brothers paying to have my door replaced today or tomorrow bc he misses me and thinks is affecting our #relationship badly #and she wasn’t supposed to tell me but i’m glad she did cause like #she tried saying she’s getting it replaced immediately grilled her on where the fuck she got that money since i know we have more important #issues and she IMMEDIATELY snitched #anyway i feel complicated. thank you for the door. that you already said you would do. what was the point of all of this #and i’m re reading the messsges maybe i was too mean but also 8 months no door and everyone being mean to me about it #he told my mom he misses me and she said how sweet it was to hear that and i should consider just. letting this go #and she doesn’t want to minimize the door or what it represents beyond just the door #but didn’t really get it when i was like it matters if he’s doing this bc he misses me or bc he thinks he did anything wrong #like he can do both but. i just want to know he’s not thinking i’m some brat for asking for something? normal? or that this won’t happen #again cause this always happens.#she was like isn’t it more romantic that he misses you so much he doesn’t care if he’s right or wrong? girl what the fuck are you on #anyway i feel weird bc like. it’s nice but i didn’t need him to shell this out #and i feel oddly like a brat to get this expressed done from when i said im upset with him #like 20 days later but feels fast. and i wish he could have reached out and talked to me #but also i’ve been so angry and resentful i don’t know if i’d want to talk especially if it’s just the same convo over and over #i don’t need grand gestures i just wish this stuff wouldn’t happen in the first place #and i’m worried that after the door my mom will get upset if i’m still upset with my brother after #and i’m not sure how he thinks we’re gonna get back to talking if i can’t acknowledge he got the door.#like can’t be like hey thanks! also we need to talk about how you use money instead of ur words.#like in this case i genuinely really needed the door but also it’s just hard to be like hey you did this thing that was unacceptable #also thanks for the full tank of gas dinner and 100 bucks. unprompted. anyway it’s unacceptable-#like it sounds stupid right? anyway i don’t know if he’ll tell me or just try to slide back into talking without ever talking about it #i don’t know and i feel like an asshole no matter what route i go #but will say funny i hid that he broke it from him and he’s hiding that he’s fixing it for me something something #i just feel weird about it. i miss him but also don’t miss getting shit from him or the other one lately i’m just #honestly doing my own thing and just getting through the day or enjoying it too much to think about him sometimes #but i do miss him and i don’t want to be constantly fighting or arguing with my family. it’s not a nice feeling.

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jakeabel · 1 year

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having to come to terms with the fact that your parents aren’t always right and you are going to have to do things even when they disagree with you is so fucking sick and twisted

#i like to think my parents give good advice but then i remember they told me to go to class while i was so sick i couldn’t walk up a flight-#of stairs or talk #and when i broke my arm my mom didn’t believe me for an entire day #and they can think i’m irresponsible all they want but the fact is i have two jobs where both of my supervisors are impressed with my work #-i’m a published author; i made the deans list; and i’m on track to graduate early with a double major + minor #like suck my DICK if you think i’m doing badly or setting myself up for failure #txt

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slippery-minghus · 1 year

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#really struggling with treating myself with any sort of respect right now. let alone the gentle care of my bedtime routine #i thought about putting myself to bed without my adaptive devices so i'd intentionally get a bad night's sleep but it isn't worth it #lmao and i've slept so badly the past two nights anyway i doubt tonight will be different #i really wanted to go dig out a razor but the marks from a month ago are still really obvious and it's gonna be hard enough hiding those #on my stupid fucking trip next week that i DONT want to go on #i'd so much rather spend those two weeks at home sleeping off burnout #but it's a stupid fucking Once In A Lifetime trip that has been something we've wanted to do for a fucking decade #and now that we're both real adults we can finally go but I DONT WANNA #i don't wanna be away from home that long!!! and miss the colors change outside my window!!!#and i don't wanna be away from maple!!! and i don't want my mom in my apartment stinking it up even though she's the best catsitting option #i don't want the disruption to my routine especially after how hellish work has been and how wrecked my routine already is #i dont wanna go spend two weeks so far away from home i can't even take my damn meds with me #and i cant fucking SIT WITH the hurt that the thing i FUCKED UP ON means *i* can't bring my fucking adderall EITHER #i don't even fucking know if A relies on taking it as much as i do #but i can only fucking feel the shame of letting them down!!!#i can't look past it and even begin to feel how MUCH I HATE MYSELF FOR LETTING *MYSELF* DOWN #BECAUSE I FUCKED UP #i just wanna sleep. forever.#i'm just gonna go away #personal #self harm tw

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ratscabies · 2 years

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#tw pregnancy mention #i told my mom about how badly i want a baby #and how once i'm in my early 30s i want to try intrauterine insemination #and how i want to spend these next few years getting my health in order and saving up money #& my mom was so supportive and sweet and said she & my dad would be more than happy to help me raise a baby if i was still living w them #and we both cried about it and shook hands like businessmen

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mrfoox · 2 years

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Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...

#miranda talking shit #Uuuh i was kinda rightfully anxious? I told him about how i am a little freak and i basically am down to date 90% of my friends #But i got told by Oliver that it could be i act that way bc i dont want to be abandoned/left so im willing to compromise however they want #Me to... So talked about that with him and yep. We finally got into the whole... 'what are we' business. Or well kinda not directly #He said he didn't want to bring it up but we basically are on the subject so... And how hes worried that i will think too much about him #'i worry the more time we spend together the more your life will revolve around me and you'll value me so much more than i do you'#'it doesnt seem fair to you so ive occasionally not talked with you because i worry about that. You're a great friend but I know how much #You think about people. And im worried if you think about me too much you'll develop feelings or I'll mean more to you than before' i... He #Isnt wrong? Thats kinda how i work. The more people prioritize me the more ill value them and cherish them? But also... Idk if he understod #That i dont actively think about kissing or dating my friends? Its just a thing i know that if anyone asked I'd be down for it. But i dont #Daydream about it or anything. But then again he said some cryptic fabian shit like 'i dont have anyone else to compare with so i assume #What we have is normal. I sometimes want to cross the line to see where i still stand with you after doing it' like bro... Im so sorry i am #I am so far from 'normal' and him having me as his biggest both friend and female/woman in his life is probably such a mess i am crying #Me: ok then cross the line and see how you feel. 'but thats the problem. You dont have a line you're so open and down with everything you #Dont really react badly' I know i... Probably am making things hard for him sometimes but this was an holy shit moment /: hes worried to #Spend too much time with me bc of how i can potentially feel? Meanwhile I'm basically 80%+ of all his social interactions 😭 at one hand i #Appreciate him thinking of me and worry i guess but... Yeah. I told him: listen Fabian. My life does not revolve around you and youre not #The only one i think about. You are safe.' his and mine relationship is my favorite but also i definitely worry bc i know how much what we #Have or talk about or act is his... Only reference for girls basically. I mean outside his mom. He's not had any other girl friends and no #Actual girlfriend. So his reference to whats... Okay and appropriate is basically dictated by me and im seeing that very clear now im kinda #Afraid. Like... Im not normal on any level. If he's basing his view on women on me hes going to have an awful time truly... Idk if i should #Be offended or flattered that he thinks he's the center of my world 😭 like hes not completely wrong. I talk with him multiple times per #Week. But i can also say hes not all i think about at all waking hours lol. I obviously love him and care so much about him but im not #In love with him. Not as far as i know anyway. I dont think of him how i do people i have crushes on for example so yeaah. It bothers me #More that he couldn't just say 'im not into you' bc thats fine. He added the whole element of 'im not sure' like buddy now im going to be #Anxious about that in the future. I guess he have no reference to crushes so he cant tell but like... How do you want me to act so you can #Tell? I want an solid answer putting in an maybe is cruel even to me. This is funny bc tbh i dont even know if i would be able to date him #Even if he said he wanted to. Bc i know his biggest wish is to be a dad and i have nog fully embraced that idea even /: 'i can feel how ego #Centered i am. Assuming im the center of your world like that' at least youre self aware sweetie. Sounded like he was at peace with all we #Said and im here like... Binch there's so much to think about i wish i could read your mind i need more information to understand all this

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