#my mind is everywhere at the moment
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When I thought joining in yangvik week would help me with motivation that’s been sapped from me because of work- it helped a surprising amount- I didn’t think I’d sit like this O_o ? Right now because of the smut idea that just dropped down on me…
“Why don’t you test who’s better at using their hands out of the two of you?” And I’m writing semi-canon as well, (forever giving Yangchen the safety net she deserves 🙌🏼 I will go and buy chickens just to get eggs with yolk, I swear) that👀 can go in so many different directions…
I was so good and opened a word document to write down what I wanted to write next, two of those including a missing scene in the main fic and a bby jamyang fic ft. Spirits of old and general western temple lore, and this smut idea isn’t on that list. Regardless of how much I love it, it is not on the list…
(The filthy smut I wrote for Jamyang and Chigen wasn’t on that list and I wasn’t supposed to write that threesome part either- I’m like - so 😳 O_O, I don’t know? I don’t know-)
#I write this after somehow finding my cat outside when I don’t know how she got outside#why is writing hard?#I really should schedule an appointment with my doctor to get assessed for adhd#I was recommended to do it back in February… it’s still not too late#my mind is everywhere at the moment#it’s hot and my brain feels like soup#I have no idea what I’ll end up doing in the end#writing#Yangchen#Kavik#aftermath from yangvik week#I had so much fun tho<3🙏🏼🙌🏼#chuffed panda doesn’t know what she’ll end up doing#chuffed panda talks
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Hob is going to come home one day two months into Dream's retirement (and seven weeks into their marriage) and Dream's going to be full Victorian maiden on the chaise lounge, arm covering his eyes.
Hob, who is not a fool: Want to talk about it, or want to be consumed by the agonies for a little while longer while I prepare dinner? You got groceries, right?
Dream: [horrible groaning dirge of assent]
Hob: I'm starting to get a little concerned, dearest
Dream: I went out to. Obtain groceries. And the woman at the till said 'enjoy your food'.
Hob: And you said?
Dream: "My thanks. you as well."
Hob: My poor love. Have a kiss to ease the sting.
Dream: [accepting the forehead kiss as his due] I can't go back to that grocery store in this lifetime.
Hob: Understandable.
Dream: Can we fake our deaths tomorrow?
Hob: Give me two weeks to wrap everything up, then we can.
Dream: <3
#dreamling#you can take the dream out of Dream but you can't take the dramatics#he's going to be horrified to realize that sometimes humans just replay their worst/embarrassing moments in their heads on loop at 3am#instead of sleeping#dream didn't suddenly gain social skills when he became an immortal human#he just lost the ability to will himself away in a cloud of sand#poor dream just wants humanity to be petting cats and fucking his husband#and instead it's Failing To Small Talk Correctly#and everybody everywhere immediately sensing he has No Chill Except On Rare Occasions#even getting drunk off his mind to forget that just results in hangovers the next day#but the bit where Hob is constantly demanding them to take lovey dovey selfies for his phone backgrounds is nice#and Hob will mention my husband in all conversations just because he's so pleased they're married#Hob. Marjorie knows we're married already. It is unnecessary to introduce me as your husband still.#Hob: idk she was looking like she'd forgotten that fact since last time
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Anyone else ever thinking about the constant nightmares Dick was having at the beginning of his solo in the nineties(in which he was Robin again and trying to catch a little boy who’s face he could never make out and was always too late) that culminated in the fear gas induced hallucination issue wherein there’s another faceless young boy who eventually introduces himself as Jason
And the dreams were subsequently never brought up again
The closest we got was the hallucination he had in his secret files where he spent the whole time talking to Robin
Because I am. I am thinking about it a lot
#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#the amount that dick blames himself for jason's death while refusing to blame himself for it is astounding.#i think about it so often#because like. he is NOT like 'woe is me if i had only been there this never would've happened' he's not sitting here like#i killed jason. this is my fault.#in fact it's far from it. outwardly everything i've read from the nineties he refuses to think about or talk about jason at ALL#we get these weird isolated moments where the ghost of jason's presence is obviously HERE but even then dick isn't acknowledging it#'there's a boy falling. i never see his face. he's calling out. i never hear what he says.'#'this kid who brings the newspaper is just a kid. i don't know him.'#'i am talking to robin. just robin.'#everywhere you turn dick is surrounded by the idea of jason. he's haunted by him.#but he refuses to see it. he won't let it in#jason is gone and dick can't bring himself to think about it. won't let himself grieve.#lets the guilt he feels about not being around for jason and not knowing about what was going on and not being on the planet#and not letting himself think about the situation or jason at all. lets all of that guilt eat him slowly. lets it fester in his mind#because he can't acknowledge it. but everything he does is because of it
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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
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you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.
#it’s genuinely such a horrifying sixkening thing that they unveil. what was done to the master.#and it’s like. it’s so important that he is awful. he really is. but he still does not deserve to have had this done to him.#the drums are a tragedy that cannot. would not. be a punishment earned no matter how terrible he is.#they’re such a violation of his mind. isolating and constant and violent. and it drives me insane that this is just. in the show. okay cool#ill never be normal again.#they literally pulled his head open. during a ceremony that we. as far as i know. have to assume is not exactly voluntary. and is at the#best of times. already traumatic and horrifying. but they went into that moment and they put the drums in his head and they made him into#something repulsive to them. because they did that to him! in this thing alone the master had no agency and no way out and this thing that#was done *to* him is what makes him. to them. a broken thing now past its usefulness now that he’s done what they wanted him to.#sorry im rotating him in my head again and again. this is the thing that makes him ‘diseased’. it’s that they chose to do this to him. there#is nothing he could do to not be this. he was a child and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. he’s an adult and he’s#doing the impossible exactly like they shaped him to do and he can’t stop this from having happened to him. so he might as well follow the#drums. and then. and then rassilon calls him diseased. and im going to. lose it.#there was nothing he could have done…………..#everywhere else he has choices to make and he can burn the world and keep it as a toy and he can fuck with the doctor and he can do.#anything. anything he wants. but he can’t. there’s nothing he can do to make it stop. there’s nothing he can do to make it so this never#happened to him. and i am spinning in circles here do u see why he makes me insane.#and the doctor doesn’t even really fucking believe him that the drums are real until the master makes him listen……. oh im going to be ill.#doctor who#simm!master#the master
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shots to feel clinically insane about
#looking at this is unlocking something primal in me idk#it may just be that my brain is fried because of the heat and the insomnia but like#THE RANGE THE TALENT THE ACTING THE TENSION THE CHEMISTRY THE FLAVOUR#MIND BLOWING LIFE ALTERING GROUND BREAKING MOMENTS IN TELEVISION HISTORY WHO IS DOING IT LIKE THEM NO ONE#don't even let me start on the mirror with puentalay and the painting with morkday#SYMBOLISM. SYMBOLISM EVERYWHERE#vice versa#last twilight the series#puentalay#morkday#m: txt
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i have been watching american housewife
#ive been wanting to watch for a min but every clip i see on tiktok katie pisses me off i feel so bad for her kids and greg#and then i watched the pilot and they seemed like a family. sitcom family but still loved each other#then ep2 and it was all caricatures and everything was over the top and katie was so damn annoying#greg too he had his moments where he was annoying. the kids are kids taylors 14 brah theyre supposed to be annoying#craziest part is katie isnt even as overweight as the show wants her to be. like taylor said jts mainly just boob.#i get its 2016 but like damn the way they compare her to the other moms its just one big “yo mama so fat” joke idk how the actor deals w it#but i did watch 20 eps and they think olivers gay and ik the show gets canceled before they confirm it but omg brah#i do love taylor and ayo (eyo? the subtitles spell his name diff everytime it appears) and angela the polyamorous cheating lesbian#i get katie not wanting to be westport but omg shes so mean all the damn time to her family like what. i love love annakat#spooky liveblogs (kind of)#idk. i miss luz. also doesnt Katie's mom voice eda?? and the housekeeper is named luz?? toh is everywhere its in the stars#but yeah. viv makes me feel sorry for her then she says somethn a tad bit craycray and it kills the vibe so.#i need to watch criminal minds my friend keeps begging me to watch cuz shes obsessed w matthew gray gubler#and i kept bugging her ab house md and robert sean leonard so its only fair. but i cant get myself to start it#i also need to finish ouat im only on like s3 we just found out snow killed the evil queens mom and rumples rhe grandfather what is goin on
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also was revisiting a little bmc bway interview ft. william last night & him saying his favorite part of the show was probably doing the agtikbi reprise scene on the couch at the party & mentioning the Nonverbal aspect of jeremy & christine's interacting / communicating there & a way of exploring/depicting Love & Affection in a way you don't always see everywhere and like aaaarghhhhh so true good lord that specific scene. and Again the bway obcr version Existing and being like that, it's just like. winded exhale yeah obsessed 5ever thank you all
#sooo true so true....#bmc#love putting it right in like the eye of the storm#both of them basically just having had these breakups & with jeremy that means mitb scene And [all of that A Time he had prior]#also now reflecting on how you know obviously he was Not ready to hear it w/michael & ofc he was affected by what all Just happened#but it's also like probably the worst time to be very pushy even with the best intentions & thinking it's Urgent & right abt all that lmao#but jeremy's Just had like whoops autonomy revoked ten ways to sunday from two different squip figures like#even [being correct! having jeremy's wellbeing in mind!] behind trying to yank him into some outcome; he's gonna be like Not Again#& ofc the sunk cost re: his squip & he has not had time to catch his breath like literally; not in a place to Confront Shit#if even his missed bestie is; from his perspective here; not at all comforting & not giving him what he feels is a real option....#& anyways ofc we can sympathize / understand them both b/c that's what the show is giving at all moments re all characters#all this to say like jeremy & christine like having such a time being very at sea very uncomfortable but then having This moment#and the refreshment & relief finally of having this successful genuine connection & relative security being with this person rn#love & affection for sure....just say what's on your mind....lord first of all that they improvise those Noises every night. i'm gonna cry#second of all imagining not knowing how that scene goes & the pause & jeremy like [augh] & then christine just Yes Anding. aaaugh#head in hands haven't even relistened for a moment despite all this reflection. the downtempo quiet reprise waaah#it's Pretty killer to sit & chat with you....it's pretty killer for me too....sooo true Not getting this everywhere always & Waaugh ;;m;;#and wasn't even thinking of it as a joke like [and talking about devote specific focus on the Nonverbal aspect of such a scene: im putting#my hands on the shoulders of that & keep drawing a deep breath to start talking abt it but instead going Whew & making Expressions]#i.e. the significance of my nonverbal response as per conveying emotions & thoughts lmao. and just....You Know
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in a desperate need to commission my ffxiv oc x canon ships doing freaky things to each other
#lotta blood lotta spit lotta [REDACTED] just everywhere#i have visions i have notes i just dont have the skill or funds as of the moment#so in my mind they dwell#slush.text
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are the planets in retrograde or whatever bc what is going on. aftg resurgence. i willingly watched all of mha and was weird about it. i went back to work. soukokover. i cant keep doing this
#EVERYTHING IS EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE OR SMTHN#PICTURE MY EYES GOING SKEWED TRYING TO ACKNOWLEDGE EVERY CLUSTERFUCK HAPPENING RIGHT NOW#nah but my writing rn? pulitzer moment. i truly write best when losing my actual mind#the scene i wrote yesterday for dog teeth. im still thinking about it. you should all build me a temple and hand feed me grapes
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Sorting and cleaning up a bit my queue for the next full Moon made me think again in making a Witchsona/Witchcraft centered OC.
I already have a potential human!Charke (one of the many monsters in Barrioween's cast) that could fit it perfectly.
I just- need to give myself time to sit down and actually thread the concept and draft visuals.
#windy squeals#i have a holiday tomorrow but visits will drop during the evening so my mind probably will be everywhere#and i know the moment i have few hours spare i will just fall asleep#someone signal me wheres the skip button of this part of my life i miss being more energetic
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am i the only one who thinks this line is sort of.....well.
#like im sorry but#fires the blood and the mind is such a phrase#maybe this is just my personal there are cathedrals everywhere for those with eyes to see it moment but... ??
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This is a gift, it comes with a price. Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
#dnd#dnd art#original art#posting here despite it being original art that i know won't do well so that i can dump all the symbolism in tags BE WARNED#these kids make me lose my MIND#anyways.#and I chose suit of hearts specifically#with of course an oleander flower in the middle#the oleander prince after all#internet said the meaning behinds the suit of hearts was church which is a bit boring but OK because it still reminds me of the cult#mostly they r the suit of hearts because I think emeria and marzu both r driven by their hearts#and they have made.. possibly bad… decisions because of their heart#obviously fire i couldn't help myself#the burning of mo' shan was an iconic moment for the both of them#*and emeria is depicted at his age during the burning of mo'shan#both bc i wanted to draw the cloak they both wore/wear and i think emeria was the oleander prince more then than currently#plus i can't help myself with the earrings#gifts given to the each of them by mirith that keep giving their association with it away#for fun the cloak is overlayed slightly with the patterns mirith has#i wanted reminders of it everywhere in the card without it or a moth actually showing up#just. subtly. mirith connects them both after all#for final touches#emeria is in profile so half his face is hidden away from audience#purposely not making eye contact and looking at something in the distance#whereas marzu faces us and looks towards emeria#marzu is becoming emeria’s reflection and he knows it#still they are both resolute in the duty they think they must fulfill and atone for#ok im done im normal again thank you and goodnight
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Can you tell I’m a Shawol?
I don’t know if it’s sad, hilarious, or all the above but I was at a crowded place and I heard the starting instrumentals of a song that I SWEAR are the exact same as Ring Ding Dong and my head snapped up SO QUICK like, “SHINee?!”
Turns out it wasn’t Ring Ding Dong…
#shinee#shinee world#shawol moments#we’re reminded of shinee everywhere we go#i swear not a day goes by when those five boys aren’t on my mind#onew#jonghyun#key#minho#taemin#ot5#5hinee
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i think this is the absolute longest its ever taken me watching a show to get to an episode that really made me say like oh this is good i loved it. but ive gotten all the way to season two episode nine of bones before that happened. and yet i watched a full thirty episodes going 'eh, it's okay, i wouldn't turn it off' before getting to one that really rocked my shit. like usually if it takes that long i give up so theres gotta be something in the water. unclear what tho more research is required
#actually i think i know what it is. greek bust lookin guy#sophocles and his conspiracies <3#bones#q#anyway 2x09 is like FUN fun. like i love trapped in a Scenario episodes . put that man in a box!! put the autistic lady in the same box!!!#underground!!!!!!! their people-theyre-not-dating-but-oh-my-god are up there. above ground. losing their damn minds#the boxed characters are inventing all kinds of cool things to stay alive but also they ARE injured and running out of time#emotional moments. desperation upon reuniting with their loved ones. dirt everywhere . sorry. particulates everywhere sir#like that was so sexy . do it again
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customer service is wild
#I was supposed to go on break at 7:30 and it turned 7:30 while I was halfway through one customer with on more in line with just a few thing#So I figured okay I’ll flip off my light and get through these two then go on break. Well naturally a third lady joins the line#The night is pretty dead so I just go “oh ma’am if you would mind popping down to lane three they can get you all taken care of :D”#And she with peak exasperation she goes “NO there’s a long line at three. There’s a long lane everywhere actually”#I just shrug and go about finishing the person Im ringing up intending to just dip the moment im done and let her go wait in the line#Then I notice one of the lanes down there is open and literally empty so I go “Hey ma’-am lane four is just opening up now if you want to-“#And she interrupts me to go “Yeah I see. I think it’s been open the whole time I think” and walks off#And I…. I’m not sure what to say to that#Did she know the whole time? Did she just not bother to look and noticed while waiting?#I presume she was already frustrated and just snapped at me without really looking so go off I guess? Go off I guess lol#Tonight has been a weird night#Little children have been weird#Adults have been weird
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