#my math teacher told us this
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when you turn 17 you can watch R Rated movies without parental permission
#you could watch them at a theater without a parent#my math teacher told us this#random life things#life hax
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For some reason this song title reminds me of The Man Who Fell To Earth in a way
Like partially it's because of the word 'subterranean' since Bowie's track Subterraneans from Low was initially written when he tried to do the soundtrack for tmwfte and other than that it's just the feeling of the song ig? I know it's not what it's really about, that was just my first association, it is really beautiful though (me and my piano teacher went on a tangent about Radiohead today so that's what I've been listening to all evening lol)
#tbh I've kinda been hesitant to listen to them before because I was just really annoyed by creep#and I found other of their more famous songs like karma police or high and dry alright but not too interesting harmonically#but recently I finally gave in and listened to kid a and it was so beautiful and weird#definitely a fan of the way they mix acoustic and electronic sounds#and the melodies!!!#I had to get used to thom yorke's voice for a bit but now that I listen to it I do like it#I love how our piano lesson conversations evolve because we were just looking at a strange satie piece#and then it reminded my teacher of everything in its right place#so of course we talked about radiohead#and he told me how it was the band that got him out of his four-year-long jazz hyperfixation#and then later we talked a bit about music studies which evolved into a conversation about math and the point of it#because he took calculus for a year as a second course when he was studying jazz#my piano teacher is the best really#radiohead#the man who fell to earth#tmwfte#david bowie#Spotify
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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I swear. I comprehend I’m not the best teaching intern in the world. I also was not the best camp counselor, cashier, and so on. But if my observer gives me so much criticism that I cry again I’m going to be so motherfucking pissed.
Especially since she’s asking me to stay late just to review me. While I have family visiting. And I’m gone for most of the day. And my commute is over half an hour. Which isn’t bad around here but still.
#vent#I’m working on it but I cry after like 5+ concentrated minutes of disappointment from bosses and such#we’re staying late because she observed yesterday but#but just like last week she thought my planning period was *at the wrong spot*#it turns out that I did tell her wrong twice FUCK#BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONE TIME I DID TELL HER RIGHT I SWEAR. PLUS I TOLD HER LAST WEEK IN PERSON. I COMBED THROIGH MY EMAILS#I just sent an email with all the correct information so hopefully that resolves the issue#I cried for like two days last week. her criticism is fairly valid but alsoooooo I’m trying to work with my partner Teachers values& methods#WHICH THE OBSERVOR ESPOUSED. last week she was like ‘omg your partner teacher is the best omg you better treat her as the great resource#that she is’ and meanwhile I like my partner teacher but her methods are boring and teacher centered#she swears it’s how she gets through to these kids and I can see that#like by tenth grade a huge change in educational structure would probably be more distracting than helpful for the better part of a year to#these kids#especially since I’m here for maybe a month.#not worth fucking these kids over#and considering the students get to use their notes on tests im just. kind of blanking on better ideas???#even the kids in the ‘smart’ periods are so hesitant with so many math skills#I just want to fix it but I’m basically at the end of the process. idk#my cashier job made me come in on my day off (I did clock in) to get criticized#idk how to stand up about this with a woman who can decide whether I pass or not but god I hope this isn’t going to be a pattern#she didn’t have ONE fucking good thing to say about me last week#my mom suggested that I ask for a compliment when I’m near tears because that might stave off any tears#I’m hoping her method works
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Had a dream where I was back in high school in a math class and my teacher was just. Incredibly disrespectful about my identity/pronouns. So I swapped to the other math class section with a different teacher
And new teacher didn’t use my pronouns either, but it still felt better. And then someone broke my desk. And someone asked me if I made the right choice swapping, because neither teacher used my pronouns, right? And I just had this moment of such clarity, of, “yeah, he doesn’t use my pronouns. He doesn’t always use the right name. But you know what? He’s angry someone broke my desk, and I know that if he finds out who it was, they would be in trouble. And it wouldn’t be like that with the other teacher.”
Just. Utter clarity of the definition between someone who doesn’t understand pronouns but still sees me as a person deserving of safety vs. someone who maliciously doesn’t use my pronouns as a way to communicate disrespect and thinks that means I don’t deserve to be safe
#my dreams#rip to my high school history teacher who got cast as the villain#but also neither of these teachers were math teachers#it was my highschool history teacher and my high school art teacher?#very out of character for my history teacher. but honestly pretty in character for the art one#do I think my old art teacher would have used my pronouns? no#do I think he would have bitten then head off of someone who was messing with me? yes absolutely#terrifying man. used art as a coping mechanism for his war experience. 10/10#I think this dream is a reaction to my new job actually#sat down and had a very emotional but helpful conversation with my director about pronouns and use of them with clients#my supervisor is a queer elder who is confused but supportive#told me that if non-binary were as known as it is today back then supervisor might also identify with it#but supervisor is apparently too old to come out *again*#which what a mood#man being non-binary is fucking hard#nothing but respect for my fellow they/thems and neo-pronoun users this shit is EXHAUSTING#also shoutout to the dream bit where bad teacher was like ‘haha and is that an apple’ when I was holding a banana#and I just fully ignored him. didn’t even acknowledge the ‘joke’#an iconic move if I don’t say so myself
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Can teachers not tell us they are going to give us a test if they are not certain they are going to do it? I have 10-12 other subjects + extracurriculars to worry about, don't waste my time more than you should, thank you very much.
#once in january i spent like 6 hours one weekend studying for a biology test the teacher said she was going to give only to some#and since I only had 2 grades#I thought I was going to be given a test#my friend was trying to calm me down during the next class because I was furious for those hours#another time I spent 11-12 hours memorising trigonometry formulas and solving problems#the math teacher did not give us a test#i couldn't even get mad#i did have to speedrun a Spanish project in one afternoon due to that though but anyway#we got an A#last week our chemistry teacher told us not to be surprised next time#he didn't give us a test#we all had studied#i know you are supposed to study in general but there is a difference between normal studying and studying for a test#unnecessary worrying and for what
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Version 1 expect I messed up 😭😭😭
#sigh#wait#is it m = 4.28 or 4.29#bc my teacher told us it’s 4.29 but i got 4.28 on my calculator#unless i did something wrong and im stupid#i have to redo this i messed up the colors 😿#oh yes#notice how i put m as the variable#originally the variable was suppose to be n but i changed it to m for mari#i would’ve stuck with the n for that silly dude that is my boyfriend but i sadly couldn’t find a yellow pen 😿#his booklet will be the one that looks like#uhhh#n+7 over 7 equals 4 over 9#yes#it’ll be whatever that’s called#it’s the same thing but idk if there’s like#a different term#i think it’s like#the one with distributive property’s#idfk man i don’t pay attention in math#i understand this tho#surprisingly
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yknow regularly im hit ith delayed feelings of betrayal over the fact that no adult in my life ever thought to have me tested for adhd or autism even when they noticed the symptoms
however
i think the biggest betrayal of duties several adults have done to me as a child is how people then and now respond to me saying i might have asthma
always "oh youre out of shape"
as a kid i was very active, as a teen i was still in scouts and while not in sports id not say i had bad stamina, still in 8th grade when we did running id have to stop and hack and cough for a solid minute before i could continue
it actively got worse after i got covid, its chronic now, some days ill just not be able to breath properly even if i commit the sin of Sitting In Bed
swear to god if i could breath id be unstoppable
#in 7th to 9th grade we did a school 'marathon' which was just a run that was pretty long#my math teacher at the time told us how youre supposed to breath when running like that#i tried his way#i tried what felt natural#i almost passed out from both#being 'healthy' is a fucking scam#being 'in shape' is a scam#if a 14 y/o cant breath after a 100m sprint thats not being out of shape thats cause for concern#if someone is coughing instead of breathing hey maybe thats bad
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What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven? & What do they like that nobody else does?
👀 oc asks that reveal more than you think
What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?
this would only be in an ideal world without the Horrors, but jamie would probably quit his job? maybe go back to teaching math? he misses when times were simpler, but alas, he has no realistic way to return there.
otherwise he might just take a long vacation and leave his coworker bart to do the monster hunting. or he'd break a bunch of stuff. he has the masculine urge to break things. someone take him to one of those rage rooms pls 😭
What do they like that nobody else does?
yk what i'm making this canon - jamie loves doing his taxes. he finds boring menial tasks to be therapeutic.
and i mean, he was a math teacher at one point, so he loves that too. he owns a bunch of math textbooks and used to do problems in them just for fun when he had more time. there is something about numbers that is soothing to him
#basing that last thing on my hs calculus teacher who told us he does math to have fun . shoutout to that guy hes great#✖ asks.
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...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.
#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame#in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear#because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better?#but also i can't help but think#why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework#and was incredibly inconsistent across topics#like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math.#like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math#like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me#and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution#or like#apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me#either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that#but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk.#they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it.#god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid.#always either with a parent or family or a nanny.#and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked#i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something#and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER#MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR#and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise#of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw)#i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary#and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age.#i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on#because i read until my eyes gave out#and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte#and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep#it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist
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One of the best feelings in life comes from when people just do random little things that make you happy. They might just be trying to be genuinely nice and they might forget about that small act of kindness shortly after, and you might forget about what exactly that small act even was, but you'll never forget that warm, pleasantly golden feeling you got when that random little thing happened to you.
#kindness#kind#caring#empathy#happy#happiness#this is my first post#so how to use tags??#nice#feelings#emotions#cringe#cringe but like also#i dont know how to tag this#backstory my math teacher never gives out candy#except when you catch an error in his work or he rolls his nine sided die thing and you get lucky#but anyways i was telling him about how my little brother wanted to try lifesavers mints#mostly because i told him that if you chomp on them real hard they light up#for real though i actually tried it once#and also hes never had any#but when my teacher heard that he just smiled and handed me two mints for free and said one for you one for your brother#and i love my little brother so much and that just made my day and it probably made his day too#imagine writing a whole flipping narrative in the tags couldnt be me
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remembered the time the (millennial) math teacher walked into the classroom and went “its ya boy. skinny penis” and then was like hm shouldntve said that probably. sure hope everyone knows that vine!
#i was the only one who heard him so it was fine and i just laughed at him really hard but the look on his face when he realized hed fucked#up was soooo funny#that was a nice math class i was taking it for the hs credit even though id already taken it in middle school so basically i would do my#worksheet and help other people with their worksheets if they needed it and if no one needed it i would talk to james (math teacher had my#name too. not talking to myself) abt more interesting math than whatever he was teaching. which again was baby shit i needed the credits for#but then i dropped out anyway so it was meaningless. still a fun class though#other highlight of that class was when he handed out dry linguine for a like bridge building project and he gave everyone a piece and told#us to like bend it a bit to test the tensile strength and shit and the second he stopped talking all you could hear was the *crunch crunch#crunch* of literally every single student in the classroom chewing on the end of their uncooked linguine. literally every single one of us.#mine
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i spent 7 hours studying for one subject today no problem and even had fun doing it + im trying to imagine what middle/high school would’ve been like if i’d been properly medicated
#imagine the academic weapon i could’ve been if anyone had noticed i needed help…#rly no point in dwelling on it but i’m just angry that my mother never noticed#i’d been struggling with turning things in on time due to executive dysfunction pretty much forever#like i can remember it happening in third grade#and none of my teachers or anyone ever thought there might be a problem bc i guess i was compensating too well#that’s what i get for being a highly intelligent girl with adhd instead of a boy that acts out in class ig🙄#i just wish i’d had someone advocating for me#like my mom advocated for me to be put into higher level classes#but when i nearly failed 3 virtual math classes in a row in middle school bc i wasn’t doing any assignments but still acing tests#she just told me i had to do all the assignments and gave me an incentive to do it#instead of ever asking me WHY i wasn’t doing assignments#it wasn’t because i didn’t want to it was because i was literally incapable#and there’s a million other examples exactly like that scattered all throughout the parts of my childhood i still remember#wish it didn’t take me so long to realize i have to advocate for myself#using tumblr as a journal where there are people stuck in here forced to listen to me talk about my mom
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SCHOOL OVER FUCK YEAH
#my math teacher went completely insane and told us we had to do 60 exercises for next week#i'm obviously not doing them but yeah dkshdjjsk
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Seeing you break the numbers down to their constituent parts and put them back together gives the impression that you're a very analytical person, and I love it
see i feel like it's the exact opposite haha i dont feel very analytical im just REAL visual. abstraction confuses me i have to have it all laid out in blocks like a little kid
#i was great at geometry but algebra made me want to tear my head off#because geometry is shapes and you can look at them#algebra was a lot of memorization and trying to make myself understand concepts that were just Told To Me#but didnt have any sort of immediate practical component to make them make sense#then again maybe i just had a really bad algebra teacher lol ive been told by math friends of mine#that it's all about the teacher. and most of mine seemed to not be very into letting us figure stuff out in like#whatever way made sense to us as opposed to the way we were told to do it because it was The Right Way#absolutely hated the show your work portions of tests. because i never did it the way i was told to . i could get the answer#but only if i ignored the instructions and broke it down into tiny components first and then built it back up
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My favorite thing today?
I got an email saying that someone had left a comment on a fic that said
presumably from a student of some sort.
Meanwhile, when I got it, I was in the middle of teaching a small group reading lesson on the sound /aw/ spelled aw, au_, al, ough, and augh and started grinning like mad prompting my kiddos to ask me why I was smiling, and it’s like
Dang. That person got me in class too. Well played, my friend. Well played.
#fanfic#fan fic#fan fiction#review#seriously though those reviews coming in really bolster my day#especially a day like today where we're down half our grade level teachers#thought Important People might be coming in to watch us teach#my kids were going crazy and not listening#and then at the end of the day I'm told that they're going to take math time away from us so we can teach more reading#so I nice review like this#this made me laugh and made the day roll by a little better
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