#my love of turn based combats and hatred of real time combat is the reason

[queenboimler]

just found out baldurs gate 3 has entirely turn based combat and now i have to buy it

[renegadewangs]

Van Zieks - the Examination, part 7

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Back to the second game we go for The Return of the Great Departed Soul! (Part one, this is another two-parter case)

Episode 2-3: The Return of the Great Departed Soul

So now, chronologically, six months have passed since The Unspeakable Story. Susato returned to Japan at the end of the first game and hasn't returned yet. Ryu was reprimanded for all the perjury and the questionable McGilded defense, so he had his right to stand in court revoked for now and instead had to focus on studying English law some more. He's done so quite patiently and now he feels he's ready to return. He just needs to get Stronghart's permission first. Meanwhile, the Great Exhibition is happening in Hyde Park, pulling in visitors and scientists from all over the world. Exciting! (S)Holmes hands Ryu a newspaper with an article on the exhibition, talking about how the brighter things shine, the darker the shadows cast behind them. By now, Ryu is fluent enough in (S)Holmes speak to know this means he should flip over the newspaper. There, we find an article of an entirely different sort.

So not only was Van Zieks apparently attacked, Ryu shows horror and concern at the notion. No hard feelings from our wholesome boy! (S)Holmes explains that London's finest criminals often find ways to get acquittals from trials through bribery, threats, sham witnesses... We saw this in McGilded, of course, so we know all too well how dangerous that can get. But since the Reaper and his curse are immune to such tactics, when a ringleader or fellow ends up being 'taken' by the curse, retaliation can occur. So it's established that this isn't the first time Van Zieks has been attacked by a group of thugs. Fortunately, Van Zieks is an “accomplished combatant” who doesn't take these attacks lying down. Unfortunately, the thugs were carrying guns this time. Uhoh.

This warms my heart, it really does. Van Zieks has been a terrible scumbag, but Ryu doesn't think he's gotten his comeuppance at all. He's genuinely concerned for this man and intends to find out more about his condition. So since he was planning to meet with Stronghart and ask for attorney permission anyway, it's the perfect opportunity to also ask about Van Zieks! Iris decides to tag along because she wants to visit the Great Exhibition. Let's shove the newspaper in Stronghart's face as soon as the game allows it.

The phrasing of “number one prosecutor” is interesting, but then... We never learn of any other (living) veteran prosecutors in this country, so of course Van Zieks would be number one. Stronghart says there's no need for concern; Van Zieks would not be so easily dispatched. Street ruffians are no match for him, since he's a very capable fighter. Seems like that sword he carries around isn't just for show after all. As for why he was attacked this time... Well, a month ago Van Zieks prosecuted a leader of a criminal organization. Nice to know he didn't just return to retirement and instead got back to work like a normal person without cherrypicking his cases based on what Ryu's doing. The defendant was acquitted, no doubt thanks to large sums of money being shifted around behind the scenes, but he still met a dramatic end just yesterday during an accident at the Great Exhibition. The man in question was Odie Asman, and the one now being detained on suspicion of murder without a defense attorney is Professor Albert Harebrayne. Albert's case has just been assigned to Ryu, so we're sure to find out more about Asman as we go. As as final touch, Ryu asks Stronghart why he continues to use Van Zieks as a prosecutor. Since the criminals are becoming fearful of the curse and attacking him, it's dangerous to Van Zieks himself. Stronghart explains that he has two reasons: Firstly, Van Zieks is the best prosecutor in the capital, bar none. And secondly, any deaths that have occurred outside the courtrooms after his trials have nothing to do with him. (S)Holmes alluded to the same thing, saying that Van Zieks had a rock-hard alibi for each and every mysterious death.

“So he will continue to prosecute on behalf of the Crown. ...Unless he wishes otherwise, of course.” With that, Stronghart admits he needs to get going since he's already 11 hours late to his next appointment (fsdkjfls). Ryu asks where he might be able to find Van Zieks and is told to head to his office. So even after being told that Van Zieks is just fine, Ryu is still concerned and wants to discuss the matter with the man himself. Let's gooo! Naturally, the first thing out of Van Zieks's mouth when he catches Ryu and Iris in his office is to wonder what the heck they're doing here.

So there's several things of interest in the office, with the game automatically addressing the biggest one: Van Zieks has an apprentice now! It's a mysterious, rigid dude wearing a hood and a mask who is absolutely not familiar to us, nope. We don't know him. Gosh, what a mystery. Van Zieks doesn't seem to know who he is either, instead just referring to him as his apprentice and nothing more.

Ryu sees this as an opening to ask about the attack on the Reaper that was in the newspaper. Van Zieks admits that he too is very interested in the true identity of the Reaper. “Assuming, that is, such a fabled fiend genuinely inhabits our great courtrooms.” The conversation halts for a moment so we can examine the office and this is the best opportunity for humanizing traits we've gotten so far, so LET'S DO IT! The enormous portrait in the back is the first thing to peek at.

Iris says whoever painted it exaggerated the subject's handsomeness, which in turn is reminiscent of Napoleon ordering the painter to make him look more attractive. That's super vain and not an attractive quality in a person at all. I laughed the whole way through that bit of dialogue and Van Zieks, who was in earshot the entire time, gets his feathers ruffled.

When Ryu asks who it is then, Van Zieks doesn't reply. BACKSTORY ALERT! Examining the chalices and bottles on the left leads to Van Zieks explaining the hallowed bottles are filled with the finest grapes from the finest vineyards he visits (so it is grape juice!!!) and he personally oversees the chalices being made by the finest crystal craftsmen in the world. Right, so not only is he filthy stinkin' rich, he's a perfectionist. Iris points out that Van Zieks throws the chalices and bottles around like they're worthless, to which Van Zieks says:

“Before you open your mouth next time, you should consider the poor artisans whose work you defile.”

As it turns out, passive aggression is contagious now. Ryu replies with a “So it's my fault? Silly me! How could I ever have thought otherwise?” and honestly I love that he's got enough guts to say this out loud. Our boy is growing a spine. Examining the wine casks has Ryu and Iris theorize about how there might be dead bodies in there, which once again ruffles Van Zieks's feathers.

Snrk. Examining the big diorama in the middle of the room has Ryu and Iris wonder whether Van Zieks can't go to the Exhibition in person and this is his way of dealing with that, which has Van Zieks snap that it's obviously an investigative aid.  He even has pets of sorts in his office, in the form of a couple of bats hanging from the curtains. Alright, so the game's definitely humanizing this poor man now. No matter how many crazy stories Iris and Ryu come up with about him, there's usually a very innocent explanation to debunk the eerie myths. Something particularly interesting happens when Ryu shows Van Zieks his defense attorney armband. Van Zieks asks what the reason is for showing it to a British prosecutor, to which Ryu admits that he doesn't quite know. Van Zieks is silent for a bit, then says that he understands. “There's merit in reminding yourself of who helped you become what you are today.”

As he says it, he reaches for his prosecutor's badge and if you're aware of the backstory, you'll know he's thinking of Klint. More importantly, this conversation puts Ryu and Van Zieks on the same level. Ryu is always thinking of Kazuma, who 'helped him become who he is today' and the armband signifies this, along with the sword. Similarly, Van Zieks lost someone very close to him and he's walking the path of prosecutor in his brother's memory. Ryu thanks Van Zieks for understanding and it's very significant that Van Zieks understands in the first place. Remember, in the first game he was under the impression that a Japanese person could never understand a British person and vice versa.

Showing Van Zieks the newspaper article has him looking a bit embarrassed, pointing out that a reporter must've been nearby and he'd been careless to let himself get photographed. Either way, all the thugs responsible have already been apprehended. The investigation into Odie Asman's activities meant that their arrests were already imminent anyway, and some hoped to kill Van Zieks before that happened. Much like McGilded, Asman used his wealth to buy his way towards an acquittal in court, but “he got his comeuppance in the end.” Which is strange, right? Very suspicious. Van Zieks asks whether Ryu believes he has some sort of divine ability to make an accident like that happen. Ryu admits that would be far-fetched, and thinks to himself that even if Van Zieks were the Reaper, he'd have to be innocent of this particular death. We also learn that Van Zieks is familiar with Professor Harebrayne, the suspect in the Asman incident. When told that Ryu will be taking on the defense, Van Zieks is shocked.

Van Zieks goes on to explain that he knows Albert quite well. They were at university together. While he's lived in Germany for quite a few years, Albert is actually from a respectable British family. And despite Albert being in the science faculty and Van Zieks in law, they got along quite well. Now he's in pretty hot water for that Asman accident.

Hm. I don't quite know what to make of this reaction. I think what's going on here isn't that Van Zieks is rattled because Albert is being defended by a Japanese person, but because he's being defended by a rookie attorney who was just disbarred for six months for accidentally encouraging perjury, false witness and crime scene tampering in a court of law. Yes, Ryu has won his trials every single time, but it came at a price. Aside from this, there's one other thing Van Zieks knows about Ryu: he'll pursue the truth, no matter what. This means that if Albert indeed didn't succeed at inventing teleportation, it'll be revealed in court because exposing shams is Ryu's whole deal.

We learn that Van Zieks will be the one to prosecute Albert tomorrow, which is curious to say the least. Ryu wants to know why he'd do something like that, with Iris pointing out that so long as the Reaper is the prosecutor, Albert is doomed. Van Zieks replies that he's a Crown prosecutor and a mortal like any other; he's no demigod. In other words, he doesn't believe the curse to be a real curse. Iris points out that everyone who's been prosecuted by Van Zieks has died (which is already objectively wrong), to which Van Zieks replies that he usually prosecutes the vilest wretches of society.

… Harsh. Ryu points out that Soseki wasn't a vile wretch though, with Iris chiming in that Gina's also turned her life around and she's working very hard now. Van Zieks admits that things have changed ever since meeting Ryu- which of course has to do with Van Zieks's need to face Ryu in court even in mediocre trials rather than pursue his usual corrupted targets- but the point is that if any of those vile wretches died in mysterious circumstances, it was “at the hand of their own kind”, not Van Zieks's. So basically, he believes that they were killed because they were dubious people engaged with dubious activities, not because of the Reaper's curse. Not only that, but ever since the rumors of the Reaper began, the number of serious crimes in London has decreased significantly. Even the most hardened criminals can be made fearful of their lives. Therefore, if his pseudonym of the Reaper can serve a useful purpose, he'll “adopt it gladly and with honour”. Ryu repeats that which he already told Stronghart; that it's putting Van Zieks in danger.

He really is a prosecutor on the edge with nothing to lose, huh. So what Van Zieks is basically saying is that he doesn't care if he dies, so long as he spends the rest of his life serving the 'useful purpose' of carrying the Reaper moniker to intimidate the vilest of society. But is that really all there is to it? (Spoilers: It's not)

There's a bit more talk about the mysterious apprentice here, with Van Zieks explaining the man was placed in his care under Stronghart's orders. He's wearing a mask on Stronghart's orders and also doesn't speak to anyone from outside the office on Stronghart's orders. HM. Van Zieks claims that Stronghart isn't one for “meaningless follies”, therefore he must have a good reason. This implies that Van Zieks believes in Stronghart's judgment almost blindly. To round up the conversation, Van Zieks asks about “that Nipponese man. The one arrested twice in succession six months ago. With the stoop. And the moustache. And the jitters.” Looks super offensive at first glance, but I gotta admit, after six months I wouldn't remember Soseki's name either. Better to describe him than to guess the name and get it wrong. Still though, just because it's not super offensive doesn't mean it's not offensive. Just saying “the one you defended six months ago” would've done the trick. Either way, Ryu says he's doing just fine and a letter from him arrived by post just the other day.

So this is interesting. Earlier, Van Zieks claimed in his own words that he doesn't believe in the curse and those who died had it coming to them, but he's still inquiring after Soseki. Perhaps not so much because he's worried about Soseki himself, but because he's curious whether this man has successfully escaped the curse so far. He would know that for a fact about Gina, but the only way to verify Soseki's status is to ask Ryu about it.

Time to leave this glass cage of exposition and meet the defendant in person! Albert spouts a whole lot of dialogue about how his machine is treated differently depending on whether the case is treated as an accident or as murder. If it's murder, it can be examined up close and that's what Albert doesn't want. It has to be treated as an accident so that it'll be protected from prying eyes through The Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act (wow that's a mouthful). Of course, that's not entirely what we're interested in. Let's ask about his friendship with Van Zieks! Ryu asks what he was like back in his university days and the answer surprises him.

HAH, wonderfully written exchange, this one. Albert goes to describe him as “the little darling of the Van Zieks family, with all its great aristocratic origins”. So Van Zieks has some very noble blood in him. We could've already guessed this from his title of Lord, but apparently it's a bit more serious. I could derail here with wild theories about his family originating from the Netherlands and having migrated to the UK around the time the first king of the Netherlands, Willem I van Oranje Nassau, rose to power in 1813. Willem changed the way nobility works to some degree in the country and not all noble families would've agreed with his way of doing things. But anyway, point is, Van Zieks is a big shot. Albert says that it was kind of a shock to him when he came back to Britain and discovered 'what Van Zieks had become'. He heard that there was 'a very big event' that completely changed Van Zieks after his graduation, but doesn't know what it was because he was already in Germany at the time. So here we have some more traces of that backstory and we have enough pieces to start sticking some things together. We know Van Zieks was once betrayed by a friend and we now know he was a very modest, pleasant gentleman when he was young. Whatever happened must've been very harsh indeed to turn him into such a sour lemon. Either way, Albert doesn't seem to know yet that Van Zieks will be the prosecutor and Ryu doesn't have the heart to tell him.

So let's investigate the crime scene! Here, it's confirmed that Gina Lestrade is indeed just fine and now in training to become a detective with Gregson. Cute! So eventually we get to talk to Gregson about Van Zieks and how he's acquainted with Albert. Gregson is overdramatically shocked to find out that the two of them are old buddies.

Remember when Van Zieks took a five year hiatus and nobody had to mysteriously die from the Reaper's curse? Those were the days, eh Gregson? Now he's even prosecuting his own friends willy-nilly. Gregson states he has no idea what goes on in Van Zieks's head  (a sentiment we've heard before in 1-4) and goes on to bring up the newspaper article about Van Zieks being attacked. When told that our good old pal the Reaper is just fine, Gregson utters a very uncomfortable “glad to hear it” which honestly had me wondering whether he'd preferred Van Zieks to die.

Up until a certain someone gets killed and stuffed into a suitcase, I'd reckon. Gregson says that Van Zieks is a top class prosecutor, but not even he can always push the right verdict through. “Sometimes justice can't win.” Gregson explains that naturally, Scotland Yard suspected Van Zieks at first and assumed he was taking matters into his own hands. There was a very thorough investigation and the outcome was that Van Zieks was in no way related to the mysterious deaths. So that's three people now who all insist Van Zieks couldn't possibly have committed the murders. Gregson says he's willing to stake his reputation on it, even. Of course, Gregson would know for sure, wouldn't he? But the narrative is telling us over and over that Van Zieks himself isn't the Reaper, with even Van Zieks himself implying he'd like to know just who the Reaper is. There's a conspiracy happening that Van Zieks is the centerpiece of, with the narrative really pushing the mystery aspect of it. The writers want us to care about the truth of the Reaper for sure.

OOOH that's meta! Ryu, being nosy and overly invested in Van Zieks's life, asks Gregson whether he knows about the 'incident' which changed Van Zieks after graduation.

Okay he clearly knows. Even a first time player can tell from this single reaction that Gregson's lying. The mystery thickens! At the end of the conversation, when Gregson's gone off, Iris recommends asking (S)Holmes about it instead. Safe bet, since (S)Holmes continuously knows more than he's letting on. To the house of wax we go! When asked about it, it's clear that he does know something (and is described as suddenly clamming up), but before he can explain there's a distraction in the form of Madam Tusspells and we have to sit through a mostly-unrelated Joint Reasoning segment. It leads into a conversation about a mass murderer known as the Professor. Ten years ago, there was a series of murders which rocked the capital right around the time Van Zieks graduated from university. Five people were killed before the man was caught and executed. This fifth victim was Klint van Zieks, Barok's older brother.

I really, really dislike this phrasing because Van Zieks was already studying law to begin with. He'd just graduated as a prosecutor; his brother's death had nothing to do with him pursuing that path. Anyway...

OOOH that's meta! So remember way back in the first essay when I said the backstory is optional? Well, here it is. The Great Ace Attorney is going all in for it. It's being tied to the ongoing plot, just as pretty much all the main prosecutor backstories are. Edgeworth's backstory is tied to Von Karma being the final boss, Godot's backstory is tied to the Fey lineage, Klavier's backstory (I say this lightly) is tied to Phoenix's disgrace... Now Van Zieks's story is tied to the serial killer who ruined so many lives a decade ago. And technically, we already have all the puzzle pieces we need for the next twist; we know Van Zieks was betrayed by a Japanese person who was his friend. So really, we can now say with absolutely certainty that the man arrested and executed back then was a Japanese buddy of Van Zieks.

The investigation segment is pretty much over, but the game has one more scene for us. This is something Ryunosuke won't witness, but the scriptwriters deemed it so important that we're ignoring Ryu to focus solely on the two characters involved. And cutting away from our main character is something that usually doesn't happen in Ace Attorney. Even when characters like Phoenix or Ryu are out of commission for whatever reason, a new 'main character' takes over for a second and we see everything from their point of view. I can think of only one other scene viewed without Ryu there, which happened in 1-5 just before Susato had to leave London. So what we have here is a very private moment between Van Zieks and Albert.

AWWW... The scenes in the office were great and all, but this right here is perhaps the most humanizing exchange we'll ever see with Barok. The reason for that, I think, is precisely because Ryu isn't there. He's alone with an old friend now, which means he can let his guard down more than he usually would. Even so, it's worth noting here that he doesn't look directly at Albert. He stands with his back to him the entire time and I'm certain this is intentional, because they could just as easily have rotated him into that sideways view that's often used in dialogue and courtroom scenes. He made his way down to the gaol to speak with his friend after ten long years, but is reluctant to look right at him. The conversation itself feels rather distant as well. Albert is delighted to see Van Zieks, but the sentiment isn't returned vocally. Van Zieks points out that they're meeting again “in prison of all places” and that the court will decide Albert's fate tomorrow. When Van Zieks raises a warning, Albert says he already knows his friend will be prosecuting and doesn't appear bothered at all at first. He does try to raise a question in the form of “Are you really...?”, but ultimately drops it and says that he knows Van Zieks has his best interests at heart. Van Zieks says he wouldn't entrust the trial of his friend to anyone else, and Albert thanks him for that. So my first guess upon taking in that dialogue is that Albert wonders for a brief moment whether Van Zieks really is the Reaper/really is cursed, only to shake it off because he considers the man his friend. Van Zieks seems to know it's risky to prosecute Albert, but deems it more important to handle the case himself than to let someone else do it. This, as we learn later, has to do with the Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act and the protection of Albert's scientific secrets.

Next day, we're at the Old Bailey! In the defendant lobby, Ryu is once again told by Albert that the true goal to aim for in this trial is to protect his scientific hypothesis. So hypothetically speaking, the ideal outcome here would be to prove the death was accidental and that the kinesis was a success at the same time. (S)Holmes and Iris don't believe Albert's theory to be sound though, instead saying it couldn't possibly be done. In the courtroom, Ryu faces off against Van Zieks once more for the first time in six months! The judge is quick to point out that Odie Asman is a name familiar to him; a man who was prosecuted only a month ago by Van Zieks. When he asks whether this death is the work of the Reaper, Van Zieks instead describes it as “divine retribution”, but also “a direct result of the actions of the accused, Professor Albert Harebrayne”. The prosecution asserts that the instantaneous kinesis demonstration was a success. He himself can't say for certain whether it's a sound theory, but it's being investigated by the British government since it was deemed to have potential and the prosecution's case aligns with the notion that there was indeed instantaneous- You know what? Let's just call it teleportation. That's easier to type.

Unfortunately, Van Zieks doesn't want to follow the accident angle. Instead, he outright accuses his old friend of murdering Asman using the totally-functional-teleportation-machine-which-totally-worked to be the sole benefactor of a scientific grant. Harsh. Very harsh. I don't entirely understand why he didn't pursue the accident angle instead, but then, I don't quite know enough about law. My guess is that as the prosecution, he's not allowed to. Scotland Yard found enough evidence at the scene to substantiate a murder plot, especially that damning screwdriver that Ryu so graciously handed to Gregson, so that's what the prosecution has to go with, maybe? It's up to the defense attorney to debunk that down to an accident, then, so in essence Van Zieks is counting on Ryu to 'defeat him' and prove the murder aspect wrong. It would align with the conversation Albert had with Van Zieks in prison, where he said that 'it was a terrible accident and the young Eastern man acting as his defence assured him that he can prove it'.

So speaking of that screwdriver, Albert tries to discredit it himself by saying that if he had stabbed Asman on the stage, there would've been a whole lot of blood. Van Zieks pours himself a glass of wine and 'congratulates' his friend on a good rebuttal.

“Here's to you, Albert!”

Albert laughs it off sheepishly, saying he's nothing compared to “Barok” (awww, first name basis), but a chalice is immediately flung. Van Zieks says Albert neglected to mention one crucial possibility, which is that the lack of blood is explained by the notion that the screwdriver remained in the victim's chest to plug the wound. Therefore, since the demonstration was totally a success, the screwdriver was teleported along with the victim. Ryu thinks to himself that he had no idea the victim had been stabbed and wonders whether Van Zieks kept that information to himself to keep the upper hand on purpose. This whole thing jars me a little, because the screwdriver is brought up relatively early in the trial during the very first cross-examination. Is not mentioning it during the opening statement and waiting for Gregson to bring it up three minutes later really the same as 'keeping it to himself to gain the upper hand'?

Either way, Ryu counters, saying that the screwdriver was found at the stage and therefore didn't teleport at all, with Gregson serving as an official witness to this location. It's pretty clear from the next dialogue that Gregson never told Van Zieks where that screwdriver was found.

“That you contravened the Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act?”

Gregson is immediately up in arms, but it's fine. There was no investigation needed to find a screwdriver lying in plain sight. So now Ryu decides to tighten the screws. He claims that if the prosecution can't explain the inconsistency (the screwdriver being found on the stage but no blood being there so clearly it must've plugged the wound), the testimony is unreliable. Van Zieks doesn't reply and Ryu thinks to himself that he looks stumped, but uh...

He just looks annoyed to me. The person to object next is not Van Zieks, it's Albert. He says that metal can't be teleported with the machine, so it only makes sense the screwdriver stayed behind and there's no inconsistency at all. Van Zieks suggests: “Clearly we should hear the accused's explanation. … Or should I say, this brilliant scientist's explanation?” And I think here in these two sentences we have the crux of the issue. Albert wants to be treated as a legitimate scientist above all else. Even if that means he's branded a murderer, so long as his hypothesis is protected and the confidentiality stands, it makes no difference to him. This was likely discussed with Van Zieks the night before as well. Albert is apparently willing to die for the sake of his scientific principles and... Well. I'm sure Van Zieks can understand. He's willing to die for the sake of serving the Reaper purpose. In a way, this means the defendant and the prosecution are in cahoots together, which is another first in Ace Attorney history. The two of them are fighting to keep the hypothesis of teleportation intact and if Ryu manages to prove that it was an accidental death, then great! Unfortunately, the second that screwdriver was discovered, the chances of that became slim to none. It was murder, plain and simple. On a sidenote, I found this little gem:

I'm counting this as humanization, because the underlying sentiment here is that despite his haughty better-than-thou attitude, Van Zieks is still friends with someone so very scatterbrained, his name is forgotten sometimes. Even Ryu is taken aback by the purity of the friendship.

Heh heh... Time to cause some more havoc by informing the court that Asman's metal-rimmed glasses were still on his face and since Albert already said metal can't be teleported, his hypothesis is a load of tosh. The jurors go up in arms about it, saying the machine should be stripped down and examined. The game gives Ryu the option to either raise an objection or 'wait and see', but this is another one of those fake choices. Waiting and seeing just leads to a bit more dialogue between the jurors before Ryu steps in of his own accord. He says Albert would have no reason to build such an elaborate fake machine and put on a public display for murder, but Van Zieks counters with the very good reason: Money. The jurors are even more outraged, calling him a fake scientist who's only in it for the guineas, and Albert begs them to believe that his science is built upon a sound hypothesis. Van Zieks comes in to 'save the day' (sort of).

“The fact remains that the victim was transported instantly to the Crystal Tower. Which means that the experiment... was a success.”

And I gotta say, this next bit is just very enjoyable to me. The way it's written is so great.

HEH HEH.... Van Zieks has some more witnesses to summon who saw the incident from some 'very special seats', but let's end the essay here for now and pick it back up next time!

[trashcankitty12]

Prince Sky Headcanons

He’s Prince Charming. The Golden Boy. The Hero we all need.

(I’m trying so hard to not be sarcastic dudes...)

Meet Prince Sky Grant of Eraklyon, The Future King. (Probably. We’ll see.)

(All of these are headcanons based on my main fics... But if you like them, by all means, borrow them. He’s so bland.)

-Prince Sky doesn’t exactly have a… Typical princely story. At least, not with how he came to be born. (There was no sweet prince fell in love with a princess story. His parents were arranged to be married… And found a little late that there was something they couldn’t do as rulers…)

-So they hatched a plan with Samara’s willing older sister… A secret surrogacy. (Sky is Erendor’s son… Just not Samara’s. Well, not biologically anyway.)

-But to keep up appearances and to keep others from finding out, Samara faked being pregnant so that no one would no any differently. (Even with his blonde locks, she could just say he inherited it from his grandmother… Which wouldn’t be a complete lie. Her mother was a blonde.)

-Sky grew up pretty sheltered, not allowed to leave the castle grounds until he was enrolled into Eraklyon’s Preparatory School. (Alongside Diaspro and her older brother.)

-He had a few other ‘chosen’ playmates, mainly children of nobility and his older cousin Thoren. But the only friend he was truly close too was Brandon.

-(That friendship was actually an accident. Brandon’s mother is one of Samara’s guards and his father works the main stables.)

-(Young Sky, about 8-ish, had went to check out the stables by himself because he was so sure he could do anything his guards could. He ended up running into Brandon who basically showed him how to saddle a horse and how to make friends with them, not really knowing that Sky was Prince Sky.)

-(Erendor was upset that Sky had left his lessons, but had been impressed that he and Brandon worked so well together and seemed to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. So with Brandon’s parents’ blessing, he made Brandon Sky’s squire and personal body guard. Putting him into school with Sky and putting him to training.)

-Sky really does enjoy horseback riding, something he seldom gets to do after he starts to really dig into his prince and warrior training. But whenever he’s home, he does try to take his favorite horse for a ride. (Her name is Delma, after his favorite childhood movie hero.)

-He’s fluent in about 13 languages and conversational in 2 others. (He really enjoys speaking Solarian. It makes him feel a bit more, airy and relaxed.)

-Yes, he’s trained in most traditional dances. No, he doesn’t enjoy it. (Yes, it does have a bit to do with Riven’s shit-talking.)

-Sky and Diaspro actually used to be friends as kids. They knew they were arranged to be married, but it didn’t really matter to them at first. That all changed when Diaspro left for a summer with her mother and came back… Very different. (Sky did worry about her, but he had his own issues to deal with.)

-Those people who came after Layla on Andros and who threatened Radius and Luna about Stella? The leftover Ancestral Coven members? Yeah, they sort of started targeting Sky after he turned twelve.

-He and his older cousin Thoren were having one of their adventures away from the palace, (something Thoren hated to do because he hated seeing his uncle pissed off, but Sky couldn’t be allowed to just run off like that).

-Two elementals showed up and started to attack the boys. Thoren’s weapon wasn’t much of a match and Sky was just starting to really get into training. They were nearly killed.

-In fact, if it hadn’t been for Thoren’s quick thinking with a smoke bomb, he and Sky would have died. He told Erendor about it, and that put Sky on lockdown. (He still blames Thoren for that, even though he now realizes as an adult that he would have been no match for a Coven trained assassin.)

-This was when he got Lady from Samara. Normally she hated having animals around inside the castle, they’re so messy you know, but for her son’s sake… She felt he needed a hound that could protect him. That was Lady.

-(Which is why Lady went to Red Fountain that first year with Sky and Brandon… And why Brandon and Sky had their switch.)

-(Honestly though, Red Fountain almost didn’t happen for Sky. He had to beg and reason with Erendor for two years straight before he and Brandon could go.)

-(His reasonings? “Think about it, Dad, I’ll learn different survival skills. I’ll learn combat, about different weapons and vehicles. I’ll learn how to be an effective leader with others from different realms. And I’ll be able to learn first-hand about other cultures, which could come in handy during diplomatic situations. And I’ll learn a bit how to take of myself, which is something we all need to learn, right?”)

-He got to go, but Saladin and his teachers were instructed to keep an eye on Sky and to send progress reports back to Erendor. (Any missteps, and he was supposed to be sent home.)

-Sky thrived at Red Fountain. He managed to make friends with people other than Brandon. (Not that he doesn’t love Brandon, but sometimes he needs other people’s opinions… Not someone who sort of follows him into the depths.)

-Timmy was one of the first friends he made. The two really bonded over the weaponry tech Red Fountain had and different tactical plans. (And Timmy introduced him to video games… Which was so much more fun than he had imagined them being. He loves co-op games the most, and has a thing for RimSky, an rpg game that lets him be a real hero.)

-Riven was… Challenging. It was great having someone who could actually (and would at every step) challenge Sky and his approach to situations. He really made Sky have to think things through and up his game when it came to training. (And Riven may have been the one to introduce extreme sports… And old fashioned’ alley fighting. And they both have a thing for their dragons and levibikes. You just have to get passed the surliness.)

-When Helia joined, Sky was unsure how he’d fit into the group. But he knows without a doubt Helia has their back. (And if Helia gives the best romantic advice? Who has to know…?)

-Nabu helped Sky learn to challenge his own teachings. Nabu, a prince like Sky, made a point to remind Sky that they are their own people too. That they way they’ll rule will not be exactly like their parents and that they need to learn and embrace their own styles of ruling. (“What legacy do you want to leave behind Sky? One of greatness or one of strife and hatred?”)

-Out of the girls, aside from Bloom, he hangs out with Layla and Musa the most.

-They’re both down to try new sports or new foods, and they are fantastic workout buddies. (When Musa bothers getting up on time…)

-He does identify hard with Layla and Stella though… It’s the royalty and expectations thing…

-At Red Fountain, Sky quickly realized he had a lot of unlearning to do.

-Like, he had to realize that not everyone views Eraklyon as the best place ever to live. Yes it stung. And yes, finding out why people felt the way they did about Eraklyon also stung. But it helped him open his eyes to the truth.

-(It’s a bit of a more… Controlling realm. And they are always looking for ways to expand/colonize in other places. Usually while looking through loopholes in the Council’s mandates.)

-He also had to unlearn prejudice against dark realmers/people with dark magic. All his life he’d heard about the Ancestral Coven and how evil all dark magic is… While at Red Fountain, he had to learn that it’s the people who make magic evil, not the magic itself.

-(And he sort of had to unlearn that he’s entitled to certain things because of his royal heritage. That was a bit hard, considering he grew up a bit spoiled…)

-His favorite classes at Red Fountain had to deal with tactical maneuvers, combat training, and beast taming. (His dragon from season 1? Yeah it’s at Eraklyon. His name is Bruno and he is Sky’s baby. Okay?)

-His skills with a bow and arrow suck and his blaster aim isn’t much better, but damn does he know how to work a sword.

-(Saladin says its because he’s Erendor’s son. That blades remember who wields them best.)

-Sky isn’t a good cook. Period. But he does enjoy trying foods from other places. (And attempting to try and recreate foods he loved best… Usually in disaster and with Brandon giving him the ‘seriously dude?’ look.)

-While he may seem like a goodie-goodie… Sky has done his fair-share of pranks in the Red Fountain halls. Usually against other squads. And with prompting/backing from Riven.

-Pranks he was part of: the Great Caffeine Heist (which they promptly fixed because of Timmy), the Great Egg Swap, the Gryphons’ Great Escape, the Simulation Switch, and the Great Bubble Wars.

-(In retaliation, Sky has had his fair share of punishments… Including one where some of the school’s wizard students cursed his hair to become like a mood ring for a whole week. And one where the other squads pretended that his squad had missed a whole weeks’ worth of lectures.)

-After graduation, Sky had started on his transitional lessons/responsibilities from Prince to King. However, they were put on hold after he left for Earth. (Which Erendor allowed because Bloom and the realm of Domino were wanting to help with the Last Fairy situation and he felt he owed them that much considering how he fucked up in the war.)

-(Sky had a huge moment of culture shock with Earth. Like who the fuck still uses gasoline-based vehicles? Or lead using guns? And the homeless and sick people? The education disparities? Like yeah, Eraklyon has a class issue, but even the lowliest people on the Eraklyon hierarchy gets a good education with new books and supplies. How behind is Earth?)

-(But thanks to Codatorta’s medieval vehicles’ training courses, he and the guys can handle this.)

-Also, he really does enjoy getting to see where Bloom grew up and learning more about how Bloom became who she is.

-(Yes there was so much he screwed up about in the beginning… But he’s doing his best to make up for it with her.)

-Sky just… he wants to be a great ruler and change the direction he sees Eraklyon headed in. He wants to be a better person than his father and be a more understanding King. He just hopes he isn’t too late.

[goofygomez]

An analysis of The Last of Us Part II and its themes

I’ve seen a lot of people share their experience with playing The Last of Us Part II, and it’s safe to say most of it has been largely negative. It’s no secret this might be one of the most divisive games of all time, and it will probably stay that way for a long time after. I personally adored this game. I believe this is the masterpiece of masterpieces, and it’s the only game to ever top the emotions I felt when playing the first game, although I will say in terms of raw story (with nothing else like gameplay to support it) the first game is still a bit higher on the list for me.

But for all intents and purposes, when considering all aspects of this game, I think this is the single greatest accomplishment in game design and storytelling I’ve ever seen in a video game. That being said, I would like to try and respond to some of the criticisms this game has gotten, and furthermore, I’d like to try and analyze some of the themes I noticed when playing the game. Keep in mind this is MY opinion, and should not be taken as fact. This is just my experience, and I’ll respect yours one way or the other.

Take this as a MAJOR WARNING that there will be spoilers for both games in this post.

With that, let’s start with the common criticisms:

1.       “They killed Joel for no damn reason. He deserved better.” This is an easy one to tackle. For one, Joel most definitely did not deserve better. Even though we might love him for being the first game’s MC and have grown attached to him, there’s no way we can or should look past the fact that he, Joel, is a bad man. He even says himself in the first game that he and Tommy did some questionable things to survive in the 20 years between the outbreak and even during the events of TLOU. While he may be perceived as the hero of the franchise, when you look at his rap sheet, you start to notice he’s not so great after all. Take the ending of TLOU as the most glaring example, where Joel has been told Ellie must die in order for the Fireflies to develop a vaccine. His first and only reaction is to kill every single Firefly he sees and murder the surgeon who would have killed his “baby girl”. Would I have done any different in his shoes? Probably not, but that’s the beauty of the first game. Its ending and the ambiguity of Joel’s morality given his actions is one of the driving forces that make the first game so spectacular and why it’s still being discussed 7 years later. Now let’s talk about the second point to this criticism: “He died for no reason”. If you recall, the people who killed him were former Fireflies, one of which (Abby) was the daughter of the surgeon whom Joel unceremoniously killed. In their eyes, they had every right to go after Joel. Like Anthony Caliber, one of the best TLOU speedrunners, said in one of his recent livestreams, “Joel signed his own death sentence when he killed Marlene and the surgeon back at the hospital in TLOU1”. While it may seem overly zealous to us as players who have grown to love Joel, if the roles had been reversed would you not do the same? Would you not want revenge for the killing of your father? And isn’t that exactly what Ellie is doing in this game, which most players justify in this hatred of Abby?

2.       “Joel was out of character in giving out his name and trusting strangers. They dumbed him down for the sake of plot.” As I recall, Joel literally gave Henry and Sam his name and followed them out to their hideout barely 30 seconds after meeting them and beating the shit out of Henry. Joel may be an untrusting person at heart but he always does so with reason. The most common reason people give of this is “He didn’t trust the guy asking for help in Pittsburg and ran him over so why trust Abby and her gang”. First of all, that was literally the one situation Joel had already been on the other side of, and knew perfectly well it was rehearsed. On the flipside, he and Tommy had just saved Abby and literally mention there’s no other way to go other than with her because there’s a huge blizzard and a herd was after them. And especially now, after Joel has been living in Jackson for 4 years now and has been living comfortably in a community very obviously open to new people. Abby’s group gave them no reason to distrust them, and giving out his name, in any other situation, would have made no difference in the outcome. It was just unfortunate they happened to be after him.

3.       “I hate playing as Abby, why are they trying to make me sympathize with her?” That’s the whole point, they’re not. The entire game, you keep rooting for Ellie to find and kill this woman who wronged you, and when you’re forced to play as her, you’re understandably angry. You’re upset, and you feel you have to slog through this seemingly endless section of the game. But as you keep playing, much like I did, you start seeing the other side of the story. Abby is not the villain the game paints her out to be when she killed Joel. She’s another human being with human emotions and a very real reason to hate Joel and to want him dead. As I said before, Abby is doing exactly what Ellie eventually does after Abby kills Joel.

4.       “Why would Ellie go through all that effort to not kill Abby in the end?” I will touch on this in the analysis of the themes, but simply put, it was about breaking cycles.

Now I’d like to start defending how and why I believe this is a masterpiece by first taking a look at one of the admittedly less touched upon parts: gameplay. This aspect usually takes a step back when it comes to narrative-based games, and it is obviously not the most resounding part of this game, but it is clearly not taking a back seat either. The flow of both combat and mellower scenarios in this particular game is astounding. When battling opponents, the AI feels like one of the most intelligent I’ve ever seen in a video game. The way the enemies communicate between each other, telling the others when the player is out of ammo or when they’re flanking to create much more nuanced fight sequences, coupled with the expanded worlds Naughty Dog has come up with to create a seamless experience when fighting hordes of enemies without it feeling stale or repetitive, is one of the most immersive gaming experiences I’ve ever had. Each encounter feels unique and challenging in some ways you may not have felt before in the game, and by the end you’re so immersed in that feeling that going through the Santa Barbara group (to me, at least) was almost automatic and I could see so many different options for me to approach each situation as it came my way.

Likewise, Naughty Dog have managed to turn the puzzle solving from the first game, where you simply had to find a dumpster to step on or a door to open with a shiv, and incorporate the environment and world into it, finding clever ways to get over obstacles without simply having a step-up ladder be the end of it. The mechanics that went into the rope puzzles, breaking windows to get to previously unexplored territory (which is admittedly not new in gaming, but still a cool concept to add to the franchise) paired together with so many more new little features to bring the world they created to life, and bring you into it as well.

As always, and as was the case with the first one, you can’t talk about The Last of Us without talking about the soundtrack. The haunting score created by the masterful mind of Gustavo Santaolalla, a fellow Argentinean like me, brought to life some of the most heart-wrenching moments and the most beautiful ones as well, in a way that can only be achieved with amazing sound design and music. The main theme song, which is a sort of homage to the one from the first, takes a much darker approach, choosing instead to focus on the bass and that resounding low voice in the background, setting the tone for the rest of the game: a much darker, grittier, and grounded experience that will pull no punches. Santaolalla managed to create a score that mimics the first one in melody and rhythm, while succeeding in mirroring it to create a more dissonant accompaniment to the gruesome story you’re brutally killing your way through.

Another aspect of the game that deserves all the praise it gets, and one that people seem to at least be in consensus about, is the graphics and animation design. I can safely say this is hands down the most beautiful, gorgeous, astounding, breathtaking game I’ve ever laid my eyes upon, and that might not be enough adjectives to fully encapsulate how I feel about the graphics in this game. One can argue all day about the morality of the characters in the game or the balance between right and wrong that Naughty Dog so masterfully plays with in the story, but one thing is for sure: The graphics design team deserves so much credit for actually bringing the story and the characters we know and love to such vivid life. You can see it in the little things, like the veins in Joel’s arm as he plays “Future Days” by Pearl Jam and the facial expressions Ellie can make if you stand in front of a mirror during the museum flashback; you can also see it in the larger things, like the jaw-dropping backdrops that range from a beautiful mountain range in the snow to the downtown Seattle skyline. No moment will be wasted by stopping your pace to just admire the absolutely gorgeous view you’re presented with every time you enter a new game world. The attention to detail in animation is also not lacking at all, with so many little actions being given special treatment as we see Ellie patch herself up and still having the actual bandage over her arm instead of disappearing like any other game, or the way Ellie’s fingers perfectly (and correctly) play chords without resorting to generic hand gestures. You can see the love and care the developers have for this game in every tiny crack in the game that simply takes your breath away and that sometimes you won’t even see from the vastness of the world around you.

And finally, the story. It is definitely a divisive story, and Neil Druckmann did warn us it would be. There were times, namely the moment they switched the POV to show me the first 3 days from Abby’s perspective, when I was genuinely wondering what the hell they were thinking. My faith in Naughty Dog never wavered, though. I kept playing because I thought, “There must be some reasoning for this.” And to my greatest relief, it finally clicked for me a few hours into Abby’s section. Namely, the moment where she meets Lev and Yara, two Seraphites that defected after the former shaved his head. At first, it seemed weird that they would be cast out for such a stupid reason, but then you start to get to know them, and you understand the real reason they had to leave their religious cult. As I said before and will say again, this is a game about perspective. Up until that point, I just wanted Abby dead, albeit with some guilt since learning that it was her father Joel killed in that operating room. But seeing Abby’s willingness to help total strangers, much like Joel did at the start of the game, was what sold me on this game’s concept. The purpose of this story is to make you feel the regret and the weight of the actions you impart on the world, as you can see the carnage Ellie left in her wake during your time as Abby, seeing Abby’s friends butchered by either Ellie or Tommy, realizing they’re no different than the villains we have such tunnel vision about. The ending is something I’ll get to in the themes, but I just have to say I love the way it’s such a parallel to the first game’s ending, up to the point of divisiveness in the people who actually played and finished the game (which at the time of writing this is less than 4% of players).

Now onto the themes. One of the things people always praise about the first game, and rightfully so, is its themes and how well it portrays them through certain characters to create a cohesive and coherent story that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you root for the “heroes” of the game. This time it’s not much different, with the minor exception that this time, there are no heroes. Just like Neil Druckmann said many times during the development of Part II, “While the first game was about love, this game is about hate”, which is one of the main themes.

1.       Hatred: I can safely say there have been very few times of my gaming life where I’ve been so viscerally angry (in a “good” way) while playing a video game as I have as I tore down through countless enemies that got in the way of me and my target. This game will let out the worst parts of you in ways you can’t even imagine, and will make you take a look at the way we glorify violence in video games without the usual preachy tone of “video games cause violence”. Like I said before, this is a game that mirrors the first one while paying homage to its themes. To take a page out of Abby’s book, it’s like a coin. There are always two sides to it. On the one hand, the first game’s main theme was love, and how loss and grief can be overcome with it with the proper care and time. The Last of Us Part II shows us the uglier side of human nature, which is anger, despair and a natural desire for revenge (another theme). Both games show us the natural progression of a grieving person, but both of them take wildly different approaches. Granted, we don’t know how brutal and vicious Joel was right after losing Sarah, but it’s safe to assume he was nothing short of a monster, which eventually didn’t really help in dealing with that loss until he found love and hope in a little girl whose safety was now his utmost responsibility. In Ellie’s case, she’s still in that first stage. Ellie as a character has always been reckless and foolhardy, and her actions in this game are a testament of how well Neil Druckmann and Halley Gross know their characters. The entire game, right up until the final moments where she’s about to finish Abby off, her actions are fueled by a rage and desire to exert justice onto those who’ve wronged her. In other words, she’s looking for revenge.

2.       Revenge: Both main characters have at least one thing in common, and it is their desire to avenge their father/father figure. I truly believe that Joel’s death was not only justified (from a storytelling perspective) but also crucial to the development of a sequel that both enhanced the world of The Last of Us while building onto it with new ideals and perspectives. The idea this time is definitely not one we haven’t seen before in so many other mediums: “Revenge is bad and is never worth it” Seems trivial to even suggest it when we all know the outcome, but The Last of Us Part II manages to not only build upon the idea that revenge is a double-edged sword, but it also manages to balance the perspectives within that cycle to attempt to explore the psyche of the characters we’ve put into the boxes of “hero” and “villain”. And subsequently, they manage to break that characterization by showing us both sides of the aforementioned coin to see, in no unclear terms, that the consequences of our actions when dealing with vengeance always circle back to expose the nastiest side of our nature. It stands to reason that we, as the player, would at first be on board with Ellie “finding and killing every last one of them”, and demonizing Abby for not only killing but torturing possibly one of the most beloved characters in gaming history. We want her dead. We want her to suffer for the crime she’s committed. Yet, in our quest for vengeance and justice, would we not be succumbing to the same cycle that brought Abby to killing Joel in the first place? Did she not think, from her perspective, that she was entirely justified in killing the man who had not only destroyed the one chance humanity had against the Cordyceps, but also murdered her father in cold blood? Are we not the same as Abby for wanting her dead after she kills one of our own? When does it end? And that’s the real question. This whole thing, the lust for revenge that can only be quenched with cold-blooded murder, is just another facet to our complex and grey morality as human beings. It’s natural for us to feel angry and upset at this, and I believe all the hatred people give this game that stems from it forcing you to play as Abby is the exact nature the game is trying to bring out of us and show to us in a mirror.

3.       Cycles: While this may not be such an obvious catch as the first two, it’s still very much ingrained in the inner workings of this game’s narrative and how both characters view the world according to their reality and perspective. The concept of revenge, as stated above, is a repetitive one. One that causes cycles and events to repeat themselves if left unchecked, and The Last of Us Part II plays with these masterfully. Starting the game with a heartbreaking moment and setting the dark tone for the rest of the game is what starts the first part of this cycle, which is Ellie wanting to avenge Joel’s death, much like Abby avenged her father’s death after 4 years of despair, planning, and training. Ellie’s desire to kill Abby is what leads her down the path we would characterize, were she some random character and not the main one of the franchise, as the villain’s route, going down a dark path that prompts her to mindlessly and mercilessly slaughtering countless people whose names you hear from their friends’ mouths when you kill them, to the point where you end up getting to Abby’s closest friends and companions and murdering them too, not unlike Abby murdered Joel. It is a sobering feeling to realize the character you most love and root for is, in the eyes of the other main character, as much of a villain (if not more) as we as players make Abby out to be. It is at the end of the game, which a lot of players had qualms about, where Ellie is beating Abby within an inch of her life that she realizes this is not worth it. Killing Abby will not bring Joel back, and will certainly not bring her any satisfaction, as showcased by how traumatized Ellie was after the killings of Abby’s other friends and the fact that she still kept seeing Joel’s lifeless body as she attempted to drown Abby on that coast. Then, as we are mercilessly choking the life out of her, which is yet another example of the visceral anger the game elicits from the player, we see a different memory of Joel. One of hopefulness, where Joel is playing the guitar and smiling. It is at that moment that Ellie realizes the only thing she can do now is to move on with her life and accept Joel’s death as something that happened. To add onto this realization, it’s probably good to mention that Ellie must have seen some of herself in Lev in that killing Abby would have left him (if not dead) in a state much like the one she, Ellie, was at the start of the game. Coming back to the theme of cycles, if Ellie killed Abby, what’s to stop Lev from coming after Ellie the same way she came after Abby, and so on and so forth. Both these things coupled help Ellie finally break the cycle and go back to the farm, where she’s greeted with the consequences of her actions in a more emotional and real way than the PTSD: Dina being gone and Ellie leaving her guitar behind, symbolizing her letting go of Joel’s memory and accepting her reality.

The game scares us; it scares me. It is a harrowing experience that will only get better with time and will, in my humble opinion, go down as one of the greatest games of all time for years to come. No matter the context, and no matter the medium, I wish it were easy to find such real, emotional, and powerful pieces of art as this one more often. But alas, we will have to wait and see. As someone whose name I can’t seem to remember said: “This will mark the gaming industry and divide it between ‘Before TLOU2 and After TLOU2”

[bnhatraumazine]

🦋Monoma’s guide on: BPD 🦋

This piece was written by the amazing William Wonderland (https://williamwonderland.tumblr.com/). Read below as Monoma explains about Borderilne Personality Disorder:

“Ah, of all the infamous personality disorders out there, Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the most common and well known! Is it really understood, though? That's the real question, isn't it? In reality, stigma and misunderstanding of this disorder runs so rampant that, alongside mental health, the month of May was also declared by Congress to be BPD Awareness Month in 2008! (It's no big deal, right? We can share, right?)

Often rooted in a history of abuse and neglect, and rampant with emotional outbursts, turbulent interpersonal relationships, and violent self-destructive behavior, the life of someone with BPD can seem so scary from the outside looking in! And to be sure, it certainly isn't a walk in the park for us! BPD is rarely diagnosed by itself, but rather alongside a whole slew of other comorbid problems, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

The world of someone with BPD is very chaotic, commonly based in a fractured sense of identity and chronic feelings of emptiness that drive us to seek out anything we can to fill the void. A chaotic life like this feeds into all manners of self-destructive tendencies, emotional instability, and even bouts of psychotic paranoia and dissociation in extreme cases. More often than not, it leads into a vicious series of violently turbulent relationships, strung along by a haunting fear of abandonment that leaves us alone in our void. Being alone with yourself when you have no sense of self is like floating body-less in an abyss with no escape, or locked in a box without anyone for company, not even yourself. (How agonizing!) At the same time, getting too close can just as easily set us off for fear of being completely lost without a sense of self, like we'll be completely consumed by them. Abandonment drives us to cling to anyone who will let us, while engulfment drives us to push away the people closest to us, even if they're just trying to help!

People with BPD live their lives walking this dreadful line between too close and too far, hot and cold, good and bad. Of course for most, it's clear to see the world doesn't work like that; but for us, living in that unstructured world it can be terrifying! (How confusing, that the world won't fit into our neat little boxes!) In a frantic effort to make sense of the gray area, we often fall to compartmentalize everything ourselves, right down to different aspects of an individual.

Someone we know can have two different versions: a wholly evil version and a wholly benevolent version. Let's call them A and B, respectively (no reason at all for this particular correlation, honest!). B is lifted up and idolized, while A becomes the dumping ground for anything that doesn't fit, no matter how trivial, in order to keep our vision of B clean. We want for the ideal, ever good aspects of B, and demonize the ever bad aspects of A, as though they are two separate people. One moment we're gushing over our love of B, and the next we may turn around to spit our hatred of A. This broken method of coping with the world through black-and-white is called "splitting" (NOT to be confused with the now-defunct "split personality disorder", which has since been more appropriately renamed to Dissociative Identity Disorder! We aren't Neanderthals, here!), and is one of the most infamous behaviors displayed by people with BPD. It's a struggle for us to actively combat every day. I struggle with it often myself, particularly between the aspects of the deplorable Class A and magnificent Class B. Even for the most trivial of inconveniences, I find myself trying to find ways to blame or demonize Class A, leading to the stressful (for both myself and others!) splitting outbursts.

This and other characteristics of BPD have led to massive walls of stigma both in the general public and even in the psychiatric community itself, that can prevent people who struggle with it from getting the help they need. The scarier effects these symptoms can have on those around us elicit depictions of manipulation and ill intent. (How weird! It's almost like people seem to think we act this way on purpose, rather than as a constant struggle with a disorder we didn't ask to have!)

No, just like with any other disorder, people struggling with BPD are suffering. We need support just as much as anyone else! A stable support system free from stigma that can gently strengthen our sense of individuality and give us the intimacy we crave along with the room to breathe and heal is crucial for us to flourish! For myself, my wonderful classmates have been all that and more! Who's in your personal Class B, hm?”

Resources About BPD -  https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Borderline-Personality-Disorder

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/about-bpd/?o=8668#.VM9kWZ2sWtA

For loved ones - https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/helping-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder.htm

Books The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245077/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_ah9YEb69K8RWR

I Hate You—Don't Leave Me - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399536213/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_xr9YEbJ0373FD

Sometimes I Act Crazy - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0471792144/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_zv9YEbMG87E83

[natural-namjoon]

Silver Millennium Ch. 2

Previous Chapter

“ Yoongi if you just yank at the flowers you’ll hurt them” a soft giggling voice that belonged to his beautiful sun blond-haired friend chastised Yoongi for his barbaric way of picking the white roses.

"Yeah he’s right, look here Yoongi, if you use the shears and gently cut at the base of the stem at a certain angle then you decrease the risk of injuring the flower and it wilting faster.” Yoongi turned to the source of the deep soothing voice and rolled his eyes playfully at the tall handsome boy with shocking blue hair.

The blonde boy walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Yoongi and sighed dramatically. “ it doesn’t matter how precise you handle them if you don’t love and appreciate them for their beauty then what’s the point of them living any longer to please your eyes, really men you have to believe more in the power of love” The blonde boy proclaimed dramatically nuzzling Yoongi's ear then twirling around to wrap his arms around the taller blue-haired boy.

Yoongi chuckled at his overly affectionate best friend and his other dorky, bookworm of a best friend. He remembers a time back when he didn’t like any of his four best friends and any skinship made him uncomfortable but now Yoongi didn’t know what he would do without them. It’s true they had been assigned to protect and guide and be there for him but over time a real bond had grown between the five of them and none of them would ever change it.

"Hey ladies, are we done playing with the flowers? we gotta go train now!”  Yoongi turned to the voice and saw his friend with midnight black hair and heart-shaped smile, he held the power of a million suns in his smile and beautiful face but his passion and fighting skills burned like a thousand suns as well, following right behind was his oldest friend with soft brown hair and broad shoulders and an infectious laugh, he was quick-witted and funny with a fighting style like lightning and an impactful technique like thunder. Both men were the top 2 fighters in the entire kingdom.

Yoongi waved at them both and ran up to them, he loved to be in the garden but training with his friends was also pretty fun and he felt lucky to be learning from the best the other two boys joined them and they headed to the combat hall....

                                                     ------------------

“ YOONGI HELLooo”  Yoongi was snapped out of his daydream by Jimin literally getting within an inch of his face.

He jumped at the intrusion and Jimin and Namjoon Laughed at him.

" What the hell man, are you good? You like blacked out, I was almost sure Jimin was about to give you mouth to mouth. “ Namjoon joked.

Yoongi looked around, it was still their free period on the first day of school. He wasn’t sure what happened really, one moment he and Joon were listening to a colorful story Jimin was telling them about one time when he went clubbing in the back alleys of Seoul, and the next thing Yoongi knew his mind drifted back to a really old dream he had a long time ago.

"Sorry, guys I just remembered a dream I had a long time ago,” Yoongi explained

"What about?” Namjoon asked.

"Me and 4 other guys” Yoongi responded without thinking.

There was a stunned silence around the table as Namjoons eyebrows flew up and Jimin’s mouth dropped

"That’s hot” was all Jimin said, Yoongi snorted

" no not like that, it was me and these other guys, they were like my best friends and it was just a normal dream about a normal day” he explained

" Are these old friends of yours?” Namjoon asked

"No, I- I don’t think so, but they feel so familiar like I’ve known them my whole life but when I think about the dream I can’t really focus on the faces,” Yoongi thought back, he was able to recall their hair colors and what they said but for the life of him, he couldn’t see their faces.

"That’s weird, they say that everyone you see in your dream is someone you’ve seen before even if it's someone you saw on the street at random, it’s interesting that in this case, you can’t recall a face… maybe it’s just that, random faces. Nothing important. “ Namjoon sat pondering out loud.

Yoongi glanced down at the clock on his phone then sat up and stretched, it was almost time to start heading to their history class.

"Yeah you may be right, I’ve always had weird dreams so this isn’t anything new” Yoongi shrugged then stood to gather his stuff.

As they all stood Jimin grabbed Yoongi’s hand gently but with a subtle urgency as well. Yoongi looked up at the blonde boy, There was a seriousness in Jimin’s pretty eyes that Yoongi hadn’t seen and he was stunned into silence but Jimin wasn’t looking at Yoongi, he was looking down at their hands intertwined, he smiled gently then spoke softly

" Maybe…. Maybe those boys are more than just faceless figures in your dreams, maybe they are the most important people in your life or eventually they will be, and you just haven’t met them yet...maybe you have yet to meet all four boys and when you do you’ll have faces to put with these people...maybe they are your destiny” there was a beat of silence, even Namjoon dared not speak during this strange yet intimate moment.

Jimin finally looked up and met Yoongi’s confused face and Yoongi saw it again, the golden glow that seemed to shimmer behind Jimin’s brown irises. Then almost as if a flip was switched the gold light faded and Jimin blinked then gave Yoongi a mischievous smile,

"Yoongi if you wanted to hold my hand this long you should probably buy me dinner first,” he let out his signature giggle then playfully slapped Yoongi on the shoulder

" C’mon guys you said you’d walk me to my dance class,” he said to both boys as he turned and skipped off. Namjoon and Yoongi shared a look of confusion but both shook it off as they followed behind their strange little friend.

During the free period, they found out that Jimin has a dance class that was in a building near where Yoongi and Namjoon’s history class was located, so Jimin made them promise to walk him to his dance class every day and after finding out they all were taking the same mythology class as their final class for the day they would walk together afterward.  They walked up to the entrance of the building and Jimin turned to his friends.

“Ok since our last period we have together I think we should meet up after school and help each other study.” He proposed and Namjoon laughed

“I mean I’m down but it’s only our first day Jimin I’m not sure if we’ll have much material to study” Namjoon teased

“Yeah I know but-” Jimin started but was cut off when some guy rounded the corner and bulldozed right into him and Jimin being on the petite side was knocked off his feet and on his butt.

The guy ducked down and started to try to help Jimin up and started to apologize profusely. Then they met eyes and both of them froze, the guy looked shocked. Like he knew Jimin and was surprised to see him. Jimin, on the other hand, was just shocked by how intense this guy’s gaze was. Namjoon stepped in to see what was going on and the guy seemed just as familiar and freaked out with Namjoon. It looked like this guy had seen ghosts from the past. Then finally this guy turned his gaze to Yoongi and instantly the air around them shifted. The first thing Yoongi noticed was how handsome this guy was, silky midnight hair fell over his forehead and covered his sharp brown eyes. He also had sharp features, his nose, and jaw both sleek and pointed. His lips were thin but shaped nicely and he had sculpted prominent cheekbones. The second thing that registered in Yoongi’s brain was that this guy was looking at Yoongi like he knew him, yes, but also like he wanted to rip Yoongi’s spine out and use it as a walking stick. There was nothing but raw unfiltered hatred in his face toward Yoongi.

Just like with Jimin, Yoongi noticed a light in this guy’s eyes, but his eyes glowed and flickered bright red, almost like there were flames trapped in his pupils. It was honestly scary and Yoongi couldn’t help the step back he took under this dude's gaze. He briefly wondered if he was going crazy. All four guys seemed to stand frozen,  all in various levels of confusion. Then almost like nothing, the guy looked away, glancing back to Namjoon and Jimin, then turning on his heels he walked into the building.

“ What the fuck” Jimin spoke first, still on the floor.

“Do either of you know him?” Namjoon asked reaching down to help Jimin

“NO! I don’t know him, I mean I’m pretty sure I would remember a face like that” Jimin smirked and looked back the way the guy went.

“Did you see the way he looked at me?” Yoongi asked still shaken

“Yeah I did,” Namjoon said sounding concerned

“Wait no I didn’t, what happened?” Jimin asked confused, the guy had kneeled down to help right in between Yoongi and him so all Jimin had seen when the guy turned to Yoongi, was the back of his head.

"He looked at me like he knew me but he was angry,  he looked at me like I was his mortal enemy” Yoongi explained recalling the fire in his eyes. Now Jimin was really confused.

"Are you sure you don’t know him or did anything to offend him like in the past or-” the rational side on Namjoons brain was scrambling to figure out why a total stranger would look at them like that, like he knew them and was surprised, and more so to look at Yoongi with that much hatred.

Yoongi sighed frustrated, this day has been probably the most bizarre day of his life. He somehow managed to make two friends before lunchtime and he knew that was not normal. Usually, it took a couple of days for friendships to grow and prosper but these guys were so comfortable to be around and they all acted like they’ve been friends for years and on top of that now there’s this guy who hates him for literally no reason. The whole situation was weird and unusual and he hated that he couldn’t explain anything that had happened that day.

"No Namjoon, I honest to god don’t know him, it doesn’t matter, let’s just go to class before we’re late.” Yoongi turned and walked off feeling tired.

Jimin and Namjoon shared a look, both of them also found the whole day weird but they wanted to remain optimistic.

“I’ll meet you guys in front of your history class” Jimin smiled at Namjoon and went to enter the art building, Namjoon just nodded and hurried after Yoongi.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin found his way to his dance class towards the back of the Fine Arts building, relatively easily, he had passed the choir room and heard the sweet voices of the students inside harmonizing and he vaguely wished he could pursue singing as well as he’s always thought he had a nice voice and he enjoyed singing whenever he had the opportunity to do so. He walked in and there were quite a lot of students in his dance class, they all stood around the dance room talking and laughing, he quickly made his way into the adjoining locker rooms and changed out of his tight jeans and top and into soft flexible leggings and a tank top. As he walked out he felt the eyes of his classmates on him and he smirked, he looked hot he knew, his arms and body were sculpted and lean and his ass looked great in the leggings he was wearing. He looked great and he was used to the stares, he found a spot to stand off to the side and waited as the teacher walked in and got everything prepared. Once she set up her speakers and wrote her name on the board, she started off introducing herself and how long she had been a dancer, Jimin found himself tuning her out, he honestly didn’t care, he never usually got along with teachers anyways so who she was had no importance to him. He stood daydreaming for a bit as she talked, finally she finished her own backstory then looked around the class and asked

“So I know this is a beginning class but how many of you have previous experience in dance and for how long?” she asked, Jimin’s ears perked up at that, immediately he raised his hand proudly, he turned to see how many others did as well and was shocked to see he and only one other hand was up, all the way towards the opposite side of the class than Jimin, he couldn’t quite see their faces though.

‘Wow, a class full of amateurs, maybe I should have just skipped the beginning class and went for intermediate.’ he thought to himself. The teacher mirrored his shocked face.

“ Oh, well that’s ok, why don’t you two tell us more about your dance experience, how long you’ve been dancing and what you’d like to learn in this class and maybe after you both can show us a bit of what you know” the teacher looked at either person then her eyes settled on Jimin first, he nodded feeling more than happy to brag about his achievements. He stepped forward,

“Yes, my name is Jimin and I’ve been dancing as long as I can remember. When I was 5 my mother enrolled me in ballet and I continued to take it until about 10 years old when I then started studying interpretive dance alongside ballet. I’ve won multiple awards and competed in many international dance competitions, and as for what I want to learn, I guess I don’t need to learn anything I just thought it would be fun to go back to the basics.”Jimin explained proudly The teacher didn’t look all too impressed, she forced a smile and nodded

“Well that’s very good for you, thank you for joining my class,” she was being fake and it mildly amused Jimin, another teacher who probably won’t like him, he smiled to myself mischievously.  

“Ok our next experienced dancer, can you introduce yourself?” she looked to the other end of the large dance room, a guy stepped forward and Jimin’s skin felt cold. It was the guy from before class, the guy who knocked him on his ass then proceeded to threaten his friends. That’s not really what happened but Jimin felt that way anyways. Yoongi was his friend and an enemy of Yoongi’s is an enemy of his. The guy snuck a quick glance at Jimin, it was a knowing glance, it wasn’t hostile like at Yoongi but kind and said to Jimin that he meant no harm, he wasn’t smiling per se but his eyes said it all.

"Yeah, hello my name is Hoseok, Jung Hoseok and I’ve been a dancer since I was small but I’ve never got any formal training like Jimin so I’m probably nowhere as good as him” He smiled and scratched his head. Jimin was stunned, not only at how nice and genuine he seemed but at how he glowed as he smiled. His pretty lips came up and formed a heart around his mouth when he smiled and his high cheekbones came up and his eyes became crescents. Jimin couldn’t help the smile that spread to his lips as Hoseok talked and beamed.

" My style is hip-hop, I learned it first from some of my childhood friends in the neighborhood, then as we got older we started going to dance battles in the streets and I learned from some of the best street dancers. I’ve never competed though I’ve always been too shy, but I guess that’s why I took this class is to become more confident in my abilities and learn from my peers,” he explained, looking directly at Jimin as he said the last part. Hoseok gave off vibes that were like the sun, Jimin decided, he was so bright and happy and positive, his smile and the passion in his words and eyes were so awe-inspiring it was hard to be mad at him or even dislike him.

“ Awesome, I’m so glad you chose to take this class I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun in this class” The teacher beamed back, It wasn’t fake this time, Bitch. Jimin couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“So now why don’t we have our two dancers give us a little taste of what they can do? Jimin can go first then Hoseok.” She gestured to Jimin and he nodded as he walked up to the front, she said he could sync his phone to her speakers so he could pick his song. He decided not to overwhelm his classmates with his ability so he chose a relatively calmer song. ‘Instagram’ by Dean started through the speakers with the soft guitar strings and then Dean’s sweet voice drifted throughout the room as Jimin closed his eyes and let his body go. He felt himself move with ease and fluidity. The song got slow for a second before the beat kicked in and he let himself grove along with it while throwing a few ballet moves to keep the number pretty. Jimin knew he looked amazing, he knew he moved like an angel on earth, many people have told him as much, and his parents only seemed to love him when he did well in his dancing so that’s why he practiced so hard and why he now could stand in front of this class and move and sway and even throw in a gymnast move or two. He was excellent at what he did, this was the only thing he was good at.

As the song came to an end he stopped in a final pose, head down, arms up gracefully and one leg bent slightly back. There was a second of silence before the whole class erupted into a loud cheer, even Hoseok was whooping and hollering being the loudest one in the class. When everyone finally stopped the teacher had a look of genuine excitement and she seemed very impressed

“Wow Jimin I can see why you're an award-winning dancer, that was amazing!” she praised and he bowed slightly thanking her, Hoseok then walked up glowing with his heart shaped smile

“ That was like perfection Jimin, I don’t know how I’m going to follow that,” he said now looking genuinely nervous

“ I’m sure you’ll do fine, you need to connect to the speakers?” he asked trying to be short with Hoseok. He stated to turn off his Bluetooth on his phone

“ Do you listen to Hip-Hop?” Hoseok asked suddenly

“Uh- y-Yeah?” Jimin stopped, taken off guard by the sudden question

“ Then no, you don’t have to disconnect, just pick a Hip-Hop song you like in your playlist and I'll try my best to dance to it, Ok?” Hoseok just gave Jimin that same glowing smile.

“Um ok..” Jimin turned to give Hoseok space while he scrolled through his Hip-Hop playlist and he just picked one of the first songs he saw which was ‘Wet’ by Flowsik and Jessi. As the beginning chords bounced through the speakers Hoseok looked over and smiled at Jimin

“Good Choice!” he called to him, then he suddenly looked down and got focused, then with a flip of a coin he looked up as Flowsik’s voice came through his body started moving, his movements perfectly synched with the beat. It was like this dude didn’t have bones as he hit each bass beat and his whole body ate up the flow. Jimin was stunned into silence just like the rest of the class, he was amazing, he danced like the professionals you see on TV, people with decades of moving like that and dancing and training their body to be able to match the sickness of the hip hop music they danced to, but this guy couldn’t be more than 20 years old. Even before Jessi’s Raspy voice came through the speakers Jimin was convinced Hoseok was no joke and he had to watch out for him.

Finally, the song ended and again the class erupted with applause and cheer, Jimin gave a light golf clap, not wanting to look too impressed.

“ Holy moly we have two dance prodigies in our class, I guess I'll be able to have some help since it seems I have two of the best dancers on campus.” The Teacher joked as she joined Hoseok at the front of the class. He went back to his spot on the side of the class as the teacher moved on to give some more information. He looked over at Jimin once again, giving him a soft smile and a nod of his head.. Jimin didn’t do anything back, he didn’t know how to read Hoseok. On one hand, he seemed genuinely nice and filled with rainbows and sunshine, but on the flip side, he saw the way Namjoon and Yoongi had been shaken up after their encounter and he felt in his gut there was more to Hoseok than butterflies and cotton candy. Jimin was usually the mysterious intimidating one in class but he felt frustrated and intimidated with this boy and he hated it.

The rest of the class Jimin went out of his way to avoid eye contact with Hoseok, he only paid attention to the teacher, even when other students tried to talk to him, he knew he was coming off as a bitch-ass but he really didn’t want to talk to anyone, he was so caught up in his own head. Once class was over, Jimin was the first to run into the boy’s locker room and change at lightning speed, to his relief he hadn’t picked the locker by Hoseok’s. Once he finished gathering his things, he was out, practically sprinting to the neighboring building to go fetch his friends.  He must have left his class really early because he had to stand there outside of the classroom and wait for a bit. He was antsy and couldn’t sit still with this information on his shoulders and all he could do was stand there and bounce in place. Finally, after what felt like an eternity the door opened and of course Yoongi and Namjoon were the last ones out. Yoongi came out first, still looking grumpy, Namjoon followed behind him looking done.

“ Yoongi are you still really upset? It isn’t that big a deal please try to cheer up.” he tiredly pleaded, all Yoongi did was huff in response, finally, they both looked up and saw their little blonde friend

“Oh good Jimin, please cheer Yoongi up. He's been weird and Grumpy since the thing that happened before class.” Namjoon urged

“Um, I don’t think that what I have to say will cheer him up,” Jimin said and they both stopped to look at him,

“ Then the guy from earlier, he’s in my dance class” Jimin revealed.

“UGGGHHH of course he is, because my luck I’m destined to see this serial killer every time we walk  you to your class” Yoongi groaned

“Serial Killer?” both Jimin and Namjoon said in unison.

“You guys didn’t see how he looked at me, he wants to kill me and for the love of Christ I can’t tell you why or who he is” Yoongi argued,

“ His name is Hoseok.” Jimin chimed,

“SEE he even has a twisted name,” Yoongi narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Namjoon and Jimin just laughed.

“So did he say anything to you?” Namjoon asked

“Not about what happened, but we both danced in front of the class and he complimented my dancing then he kept staring at me,” Jimin recalled,

“AND he’s a creepy pervert that stares, Jimin I think you should stay away from him” Yoongi turned and grabbed Jimin by the shoulders,

“But he’s very sweet and he was super nice to me” Jimin teased, batting his eyelashes innocently. Yoongi scoffed and turned away from him and continued walking, Jimin just giggled.

“ See Yoongi it was nothing,” Namjoon stated, feeling satisfied that he was right. Yoongi ignored him.

They finally reached the last class of their day, it was ‘History of Mythology’. It was technically a history class but it was offered as an elective and Yoongi knew he didn’t need another history credit but for some reason, he really had wanted to take it because he did really like mythology. When he asked Namjoon and Jimin why they chose it, Namjoon said that it sounded interesting and Jimin said he just honestly needed another class to add for credits.  As they went in the class was still pretty empty except for a few students, Namjoon gasped then waved to one of the students who was seated at one of the round tables by himself at the front, the guy looked up and smiled and waved them over. Namjoon ran up excitedly and sat next to who  Yoongi thought was probably one of the hottest men alive, granted he’d been meeting hot guys all day, Namjoon and the serial killer Hoseok were hot as hell in their own ways and Jimin could’ve been an angel straight from the heavens but this guy was godly.

He had a sculpted face and Jawline with soft sparkling eyes and his lips were plump and perfect and his physique, even sitting, was amazing. He was skinny but his shoulders were broad and perfect, his hair was a soft light brown and it was glossy and healthy-looking as it fell a little long past his ears. This man didn’t seem to have a flaw at all and both Jimin and Yoongi couldn’t help but stare as they took seats at the table.

“ I forgot to mention that I had made a friend earlier today and we found out we had our last class together, guys This is Jin,” Namjoon introduced the godlike human sitting at their table, Jin smiled and Jimin and Yoongi almost swooned. Jimin, switching into Thot mode smiled seductively and placed his chin on his hand sexily,

“ Well hello handsome, I’m Jimin.” He introduced himself while unabashedly running his eyes up and down Jin’s body. Jin stared at Jimin blankly for a second then turned to Namjoon,

“Wow your friend Jimin gives off hoe energy,” he said to him and busted out laughing. Jimin scoffed, surprised at his blunt way of speaking, Yoongi practically busted a lung along with Jin. Namjoon couldn’t help laughing along with him.

“It's ok Jimin, I get that a lot “ Jin smiled then winked at him, Jimin huffed again feeling like his thunder was being stolen, he doesn’t get winked at, HE is the one who winks. After settling down Jin turned to greet Yoongi as he introduced himself, Yoongi reached to shake his hands and there was a pop as they both got shocked,

“Ow,” they both said in unison, Namjoon laughed

“ It's probably because Yoongi drags his feet when he walks” he teased, Jimin laughed in agreement Yoongi rolled his eyes and Jin just joined in with the laughing

After a bit, the class suddenly got very full and all the seats had been full, Yoongi was surprised each table had 5 chairs and there were about 6 tables. 30 people really signed up for the history of Mythology. That was kind of weird but maybe they had the same reasons as him and his friends, either it sounded interesting or they needed a filler class. Finally, as the last couple people walked in the teacher soon followed and when he noticed how many people were in his class he seemed more than delighted,

“WOW! All these interesting faces here for my little old class, well I’m more than happy to say how honored I am, with such a big group I’m sure we’re sure to have lots of fun this semester.” The professor was an older middle-aged man who looked like the typical teacher type, clean-shaven, salt and pepper hair, glasses. Nothing exceptional.

“ Well my name is Han, Doctor Han as I do have an advanced doctorate in history but if you just want to call me Mr. Han then you are all more than welcome, I’ve been teaching here for about 5 years and I only teach this class at this hour every day and all other hours of the day you can find me at the library as I also run the library department, so if you ever need me then you can probably find me in there. This is The history of Mythology, I have to say that so you all can make sure in the right class. If everyone is where they are supposed to be then we can get started.” He explained happily, Yoongi already decided that he liked this teacher, his other professors seemed great but Mr. Han had such a warm and welcoming presence and he genuinely seemed like he loved teaching.

As the teacher was about to go on the door slammed open a student rushed all smiley and apologetically,

“Hi professor I’m so sorry to be late and interrupt the class but I had to tend to a family emergency after my last class,” The boy apologized profusely, Jimins HAir stood up on end as he heard the voice of the student who just entered, then snuck a worried glance at Yoongi who was on his phone briefly not paying attention to what was going on at the front of the class

“ Oh no I hope everything is alright” The teacher placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder and the boy nodded that it was ok

“ I’m glad to hear that, well let see if we have any seats left” Mr. Hans eyes scanned the room and found one lone seat empty at Yoongi’s table between Jimin and Namjoon,

“Ah, right here at the front so you can do your best learning,” Mr. Han smiled at the student who gave his best heart-shaped smile back.

The boy turned to take his seat and at that moment Yoongi looked up to see the approaching person and Yoongi felt his heart drop. It was Hoseok. The happy smile on Hoseok’s face faded fast and he paused only for half a second before walking over and taking the seat in between Jimin and Namjoon. Yoongi sat frozen not knowing what to say, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck seriously? this is just my damn my luck’ was all he could think the teacher had already continued to talk but Yoongi could hear anything over the glare Hoseok was sending him.

The phone rang in the classroom and the teacher went to get it, after a beat, he hung up and apologized as someone was calling him for an urgent matter in the history office so he had to pop out for a bit,

" Take this time to introduce yourselves to your tablemates, you will be working a lot in these groups for the rest of the semester, ok? I’ll be right back” and with that, the teacher left and the class was free to converse with each other. Quickly the class settled into a comfortable buzz as the students talked and chatted but at Yoongi’s table the tension was so thick you could almost grab it. Hoseok’s fiery eyes never left Yoongi and all Yoongi could do was stare back, for some reason Hoseok’s gaze held him and he couldn’t move and again he saw the fire in Hoseok's pupils burning bright red with hatred. Jin, not knowing any of these people or why they hated each other, looked frantically around trying to look for answers but Jimin and Namjoon seemed just as tense,

"umm… so are you guys like exes or something? Yoongi cheated or?” Jin looked at Hoseok who turned to him and once he saw Jin, a look of recognition, just like with Namjoon and Jimin, passed his face and he smiled genuine and bright, he suddenly looked like he wasn’t just sending a death glare at someone.

“No nothing like that, I’m Hoseok by the way and you are?” He asked cheerfully

“I’m Jin,” he reached around Namjoon and shook Hoseok’s hand.

"Oh and I never got your name,” Hoseok turned to Namjoon and continued to give his brightest smile. After being introduced to Namjoon, Hoseok turned to Jimin and greeted him cheerfully and started talking with him like they were best friends. Yoongi was looking at Jimin like he was a traitor but Jimin felt like there was nothing he could do but just be friendly with Hoseok, no one at the table knew how to take him, he was super friendly and welcoming to everyone else except Yoongi, even Jin felt weird about the whole situation. Jimin knew there had to be a reason why Hoseok didn't like Yoongi and he felt that if he got closer to him then he might reveal why. So, for now, Jimin snuck an apologetic look to Yoongi and continued to converse with Hoseok.

'Cool,’ Yoongi thought to himself as he put his head down feeling crummy ‘ first day of school, I made friends but I also made an enemy’ Yoongi was a combination of mad, confused and tired, he also felt like this had been the longest day of his life but now he was starting to feel like this semester was going to be the longest of his life. Now with this serial killer sitting two feet away, was there anyone out there to save him?  

[dragonkeeper19600]

Fallen Star AU: Stella

This is a character profile for Mario and Peach’s daughter Stella, the main character of the Fallen Star AU.

I’ve posted a picture of her before, but I’ve decided I like my original concept sketch of her a little better.

General History: Stella was born in Sarasaland less than a year following the collapse of the Mushroom Kingdom. As Peach’s only daughter, and thus the rightful heir to the Mushroom throne, Stella was raised in absolute secrecy in Sarasaland, lest Bowser’s forces should discover her existence. Peach knew that the child of Mario and herself would give hope to the Toad population now living in oppression under Bowser’s rule. However, this reasoning has led Luigi to accuse Peach of using Stella.

Let it be said that Peach never pressured Stella to follow in Mario’s footsteps. Stella chose that path on her own. At a young age, she chafed at her confined existence and longed to liberate the conquered kingdom and take her rightful place as princess. 

As a teenager, she became aware of the toll such a quest would take on Luigi, who had always worried over her and might never recover if she died the same way her father did. But, at 18, her hand was forced, and she officially made her existence known to Bowser and his forces. She understands she’s risking more than her own life by fighting, but she believes the war with Bowser is bigger than herself and Luigi. 

Personality: Stella has always been a tomboy and being confined in her childhood has given her an intense wanderlust. Despite the tragic circumstances of her birth, she is a very idealistic individual, believing in a clear distinction between right and wrong and the sacred duty to fight for justice. These ideals will be challenged as she fights new foes, learns more of her family’s legacy, and sees that things are not as black and white as she believed. 

Stella exudes confidence in everything she does and has inherited her father’s impulsiveness. She’s also inherited his appetite. She can finish a slice of her mother’s cake with shocking speed. She tries to emulate Mario in many ways. She spent years training to gain his skills in acrobatics, and deliberately chooses to dress like him to order to evoke his image.

However, there’s a little bit more to her emulation of Mario than simple hero worship. Ever since she was very small, she’s been aware of a gap in her family’s life, the gap left by her missing father who would never come home. Stella remembers an occasion in her childhood where she walked in on Peach, hoping to give her a bouquet of flowering weeds she’d picked outside. Peach didn’t see her come in, and Stella saw the tears rolling silently down her cheek. Her mother, she’d come to understand, had lost everything, her home, her country, her people, and her knight. Stella’s attempt to follow in Mario’s footsteps is, in some way, an attempt to fill the gap. 

Abilities: Stella boasts the usual Mario Bros. agility and strength. She also possesses traces of her mother’s Wish Power. She can slow her descent from a long fall, and she inherited the ability to seal the Dark Star, which comes in very handy at a critical moment. 

Relationships:

Peach: Stella has spent most of her life in the company of her mother. Peach opted to use a frank and non-judgmental approach when raising her daughter. Whenever Stella had a question or was uncertain about something, Peach answered her as though she were an adult. When Stella expressed a desire to journey to the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach chose not to try and dissuade Stella and instead told her very clearly of the risks. As she grew up, Stella grew to admire Peach’s fortitude, managing to raise her lovingly even though her entire life had been destroyed and she is now living in exile. A huge motivator for Stella’s need to defeat Bowser once and for all is her desire to finally bring her mother home. 

Luigi: Luigi came to visit Stella often, and Stella found herself both flattered and intimidated by Luigi’s almost reverential love for her. Luigi taught her Italian and begrudgingly trained her how to fight the plumber way, though he would prefer for her to never use the skills he taught her. Luigi no longer fears for his own safety the way he did when he was younger but is instead plagued with fears of losing Stella. It was the guilt of worrying him that kept Stella in Sarasaland until she was eighteen. Mario died before she was born, and Toadsworth passed away when Stella was too young to really remember him, so Luigi has been her main father figure throughout her life. She’s called him “Zio” since she was little and continues to do so as a adult.

Mario: Stella’s entire life has been defined by her secondhand knowledge of Mario. She grew up hearing stories of his exploits and her family’s tender memories of him, and she quickly grew to idolize him. However, she has often longed for him to have a real, physical presence in her life. What would it be like to have a father say goodnight to you every night? And, wouldn’t her mother and uncle be so much happier if her father were still around? Stella, in many ways, sees Mario as the ideal of what a person should be, and she’s tried in every way she can think of to live up to his legacy. It’s put her under a lot of stress.

Daisy: Daisy is Stella’s Cool Aunt. Stella has known sorrow before she really knew her own name, and Daisy is a much-needed source of levity in her life. Daisy has matured since her younger days. Since the fall of the Mushroom Kingdom, she’s taken a more active role in the politics of Sarasaland, and so Stella sees her less often than Luigi. But, whenever she comes by, she’s always ready with a joke, a laugh, and presents for Stella and Peach. As a parent, Daisy has taken a more hands-off, let-them-learn-by-doing approach, which her own kids and Stella have benefitted from and which is the source of many headaches for Luigi. 

Cousins: Stella has three cousins: Tony, the eldest, Marigold, the middle one, and Viola, the baby of the family. Of the three, Stella is closest to Tony. Growing up as sheltered as she was, Tony was the only child her age available to play with. Even in their teens, Stella still considers Tony to be her best friend. Lanky and accident prone, Tony is more cautious than Stella but usually ends up going along with whatever she’s doing anyway. Stella influences him to journey into the Mushroom Kingdom to fight alongside her. Tony and Stella’s closeness is all the more impressive considering that Tony has often been envious of Stella. As a child, it often seemed to Tony that Luigi cared more for Stella than him. Stella and Luigi were united over their grief for Mario, and Tony felt his own exclusion from that connection. Tony covers up these negative feelings with a jokester personality. Whenever he’s feeling nervous about a leap into danger, he’s always ready with a self-deprecating joke. 

Bowser: Stella was warned her whole life that Bowser would try to kill her if he ever learned of her existence. When they finally encountered each other, Bowser did not disappoint. He’d spent eighteen years looking for Peach after she escaped the Kingdom, and when he learned Mario had had a daughter with her, he saw red. Whereas he’d never meant to actually kill Mario and felt something resembling remorse afterwards, he wanted Stella on a platter from day one. In his warped mind, Stella is the last thing tying Peach to Mario, and if he kills her, Peach will have no choice but to accept him. That Peach would never forgive him for killing Stella seems to never occur to him. Stella, however, is mostly unfazed by Bowser’s white hot rage. She’s always thought of him as a monster, a two-dimensional tyrant, and there was something morbidly satisfying in his immediate hatred of her. Neither she nor Bowser really see each other as thinking beings, just living symbols of what they oppose. 

Bowser Jr.: In the years following Mario’s death, Bowser Jr. has grown up to heavily resemble his adult father. Whereas age, stress, and, yes, grief, has caused Bowser to begin to decline, Bowser Jr. is in the peak of his adulthood. It’s often Junior, not Bowser himself, that Stella faces in combat, and at first, it seemed as though their relationship would be a copy of the enmity between Mario and Bowser during Mario’s lifetime. Bowser Jr. was pressured by his father early on to “torch that girl” that had stolen his mother from him, and Stella made her own disdain for Bowser Jr. clear from their first meeting when she told him, “You are standing in between me and my throne.” Despite their rivalry and volatile beginning, Stella and Junior eventually formed a mutual respect for each other. Junior came to feel disillusioned with his father’s drive for conquest, but he didn’t see an alternative to his current strength and war-centered way of living. Stella, an emphatic person herself, began to see and understand the burden Junior bore as the only son of the Koopa King, forced to comply with the wishes of his father and his people against his own better instincts. This understanding eventually bloomed into a sort of mutual attraction, and a lot of their fights became romantically charged. It progressed to the point where Junior at one point proposed to Stella, reasoning that a union between them would end the conflict. But, Stella turned him down. She’d already fought against him for so long under the narrative that he was an illegitimate prince with no claim to the Mushroom throne. If she married him now, thus acknowledging him as the heir, she would be betraying her people. She couldn’t accept a kingship that had been based on so much sacrifice. None of the reasons for her refusal had to do with Junior himself but what their union would mean for her people. They couldn’t be together. 

The Havoc Star: The weapon that allowed Bowser to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom, the thing that had killed Mario. For the longest time, the Havoc Star was a source of awe-inspiring horror for Stella. If Mario represented an idealized good, then the Havoc Star was pure, voidal evil. Bowser’s hated of Stella occasionally drove him to try to use the Havoc Star on her, and while these attempts were unsuccessful, Stella always escaped just by the skin of her teeth, and the destruction was always terrible. Other stars speak soothingly with wisdom or kindness, but Stella never heard anything from the Havoc Star but nerve-scraping screaming that filled the entire cavity of her skull. Stella’s top priority in the early days of her conflict with Bowser was to find a way to destroy the Havoc Star. If she could do that, then Bowser’s main ace in the hole would be gone, and taking back her kingdom would be easy. 

[gascon-en-exil]

Joining the Game Late: S1E3 “Lord Snow”

Synopsis

The Night’s Watch are for the most part pathetically incompetent but they and Tyrion continue to put Jon in his place. Jon’s older male relatives are all the proverbial two days away from retirement, sucks for all that exposition he’ll miss out on. Lots of quick intros for the king’s council that have assembled because Robert can’t manage money, no surprise there. Jaime plays the twisted knightly loyalty card for all it’s worth. Robert is a very visceral king in every way imaginable - no surprise too that his war stories include defecation. Two of King’s Landing’s biggest schemers head off Catelyn and reveal the former owner of the dagger used by Bran’s would-be assassin, which they do in a brothel because it’s funny secret. Cersei and Ned are both kind of bad at parenting but at least they’re trying. Viserys engineered his own impotence and only now realizes it, and also Dany is pregnant but that won’t last. Bran’s old nurse explains Westeros’s abnormal seasons, but not very well.

Commentary

As expected now that the bulk of the action in the Westeros storyline has moved to King’s Landing I’m getting more invested, as there’s a much wider range of characters and plot threads to take interest in. Granted some of the intros in this episode go by a bit too quickly to really appreciate them; of the king’s council I just had time to register the two schemers (one with balls, one without), the gay otter (yay!), and an old guy whose name I can’t even place after the fact. Of these only the schemer with balls, a.k.a. Petyr Baelish, a.k.a. Littlefinger shows some real early development through the crush on Catelyn he doesn’t bother hiding and his admittedly funny decision to bring her to meet him in a brothel - that he owns, no less - because it’s a safe location. Ned’s just a killjoy about it, and it’s hard to tell how much of that is basic prudery and how much of it is fear of being cuckolded. Ned strikes out with Sansa too, but he does get some good bonding in with Arya leading up to the episode’s ending scene where she’s allowed to learn from a sword instructor offering both development for father and daughter and combat-based worldbuilding.

Cersei’s own attempts at parenting are equally hit-or-miss, and you can get a feeling for why Joffrey turned out the way he did. Half her advice boils down to “when you’re king you can do what you want,” so when she follows this by trying to temper her son’s inability to understand any tactic other than adolescent aggression it doesn’t quite work as well as might have otherwise. I enjoyed more her scene with Jaime, as well as Jaime in general this episode. He reveals himself to be more than just an evil knight in shining armor, via an amoral opportunistic streak and a violent love (like that) for his sister. That last bit is especially noteworthy looking back on the show when one knows how it ends. Of the two of them Jaime is the one who undergoes a redemption arc only foiled at the eleventh hour, while Cersei becomes more solidly evil as the series progresses. Based on these early scenes though you’d be forgiven for expecting the reverse.

Taking a break from King’s Landing, Dany’s storyline fleshes out for the first time the Dothraki beyond abstractly racist stereotypes, with speaking roles for more of them and what looks to have been a real effort to craft a Dothraki language and use it realistically alongside the language rendered as English to convey a sense of the language barrier and where Dany and others are breaking through it. That’s more than can be said for the significant scene leading up to Dany’s confrontation with her brother, because the setup feels artificial. Dany asks about the slaves kept by the Dothraki, and this bothers her which introduces the hatred of slavery that becomes one of her defining traits and really muddles the message when she eventually becomes a Mad Queen. She then orders the horde to stop, dismounts, and wanders off the path alone for no apparent reason only to be assaulted by Viserys moments later. Granted the subsequent scene is pretty awesome (but for the fact that Viserys has never been much of a threatening antagonist), but what was Dany doing?

The Night’s Watch recruits got some screentime as well, appropriately since this episode is titled after the protagonist in their ranks. Tyrion and Benjen keep Jon from getting a big head though, and the two of them do some verbal sparring of their own that reminds us that while Tyrion is playing tourist up at the Wall he’s being implicated in Bran’s attempted assassination back in King’s Landing. Ooh, mysterious. At least Tyrion does follow through with his plan to piss off the edge of the Wall - priorities, you know.

Some bits of necessary exposition from the bedraggled men of the Night’s Watch and from Bran’s old nurse provide the first explanation for Westeros’s abnormal seasons, although at this point I’ve still got more questions than answers. It seems as though there are only two seasons in their world, and it’s universally assumed that summer = good and winter = bad which I’m calling foul on as someone who’s suffered a lifetime in the subtropics. Of course it must be awful for the temperate parts of the continent when the Night King is “Let It Go”ing all over the land for years on end, but what about climates where the winters are short and mild but the summers are a scorching, sweltering hell hostile to human life without the central AC that these people definitely do not have? That old woman ought to feel a Louisiana summer before she “oh my sweet summer child”s anyone. That line used to be a meme, right?

[ryuspike]

DnD 5e Race: Vulpine

Here it is. The race information for my version of fox-folk. I designed most of them off of their real life counterparts and what they are associated with most. I also went through a lot of balancing so that the subraces don’t feel over- or under-powered compared to the others. Though one subrace is clearly a bit more powerful for obvious reasons.

I originally created this because a friend of mine wanted to play a fox character but the best they can find are reskinned Tabaxi race traits. Feel free to try these out in your own games (with DM consent) and see how it plays out. I’ll love to hear your thoughts.

Vulpine Race

Terminology. Vulpine have special terms for each other. Vulp is a shorthand for vulpine and vulps is the plural tense of that word. Vulpine children are often called kits or cubs. A female vulpine is usually referred to as a vixen and a male vulpine is called a tod.

Lore. Long ago, spiritual beings that take the form of foxes ran wild in the world. The gods discovered these creatures, and some have tamed them as their personal messengers to the mortal realm. The constant contact between them and mortal led to some of these foxes to start families with them. Children sired by these foxes tend to carry on their traits like long noses, narrow faces, or squinted eyes. The most extreme, however, bore foxlike appendages and some even looked entirely like the animal. This led to many of them being shunned by families and neighbors as they are driven out from society. Not even the gods shown them much mercy as they leave these outcasts in fate’s hands.

Not many of fox spirits went out of their way to protect their children as they were either too scared of the mortals’ or gods’ wrath, or just too selfish to care about their offspring’s misfortune. Eventually, a goddess and an entourage of caring fox parents gathered the forsaken fox children and led them into a hidden paradise. There, the people lived in peace and harmony. Their vulpine traits became unified as they formed families together and inherited their parents’ fox appearance. Several centuries gone by and their numbers grew too great for the paradise to sustain them forever. The gods knew that it was time for their chosen children to make an important decision: stay hidden in their paradise and risk over population or go out into the world and endure the hardships it brings.

Many had argued over what is the right choice to make. Those that wanted to stay still remember the hatred their families were subjected to and refused to be part of that world. Countless others, however, felt like they are ready to rejoin the world and sate their growing wander lust. Arguments raged on until it was finally decided that the vulpine people will split off from each other. Those that wanted to stay and those who chose to leave for knew lands. The pilgrims soon after built boats and set off into new lands as they left their home behind.  Many of them splitting off from each other as they seek to populate across the new world.

Age. All vulpine live an average lifespan of 90 to 100 years. The zao vulpine, however, are said to live up to 150 years due to their close connection to the vulpine gods.

Language. All vulpine can speak common and their ancestral language of Vulpanese. The dialect is often different between cultures little change in the actual language. (If DM doesn’t agree with this language choose, the language can be anything else of your choice)

Darkvision. Nocturnal by nature, you have excellent vision in dark places. You can see dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.

Fox’s Cunning. Your keen mind gives you proficiency with Perception and one of the following: Deception, Survival, or Stealth.  

Fox’s Claws. Your claws are a natural weapon, which you can use to make unarmed strikes. If you hit with them, you deal slashing damage equal to 1d4 + your Strength modifier, instead of bludgeoning damage normal for unarmed strikes. Russet and arctic vulpine can use their claws to move with 20 feet of climbing and 10 feet of burrowing speed. Fennec vulpine claws give them climbing speed of 10 feet and burrowing speed of 20 feet.

Russet Vulpine

Lore. The most common of the vulpine races, the russet vulpine had integrated themselves among the other races of the world. They still had to face with plenty of prejudice as many races assumed that the vulpine are not trustworthy due to their more angular and sly features. Others saw they as much larger foxes whose fur would fetch a high price on the market. During the early years of some countries, it was legal to hunt and kill vulpine for their fur. As society grew, such barbaric practices were treated like sporting events for noble families. This led to the russet vulpine to learn how to adapt quickly with their surroundings so to better escape from these hunts.

Due to being foreign travelers, it was rare to see a russet vulpine given a high-ranking position in any government that wasn’t headed by their own people. This makes vulpine one of the largest members of the lower class in the world. Many of them either forced to live in the streets of cities or out in the wilderness or rural areas. The vulpine are often given jobs that do not give out much pay so a good number of them resort to stealing in order to feed their families. The few vulpine that find themselves in noble or governing positions tend to either attempt to use their position of power to aid their people, or allow the unfair system to continue as the live a life of luxury.

Russet vulpine are solitary creatures. Sticking to small family units and protecting their own. Thanks to the constant hunting of their people, they learned to be craftier and faster those seeking to take their fur. Parents often instructing their children the layout of the land so that they can always have an escape route to head for. Common vulpine children games are used as learning tools as they involve one child trying to hunt down the others until they either give up or all the other children are “dead”. These cautionary games helped many young vulps survive out in a harsh world that seeks to harm them.

Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.

Alignment. Most of your kind are neutral good as they want to benefit their societies. Some will branch out depending on their life choices.

Appearance. You resemble the most common of fox breeds with a fur coat that falls under the warmer shades of color like red, orange, yellow, brown, and gray. Various black and white markings can often be found around your ears, muzzle, chest, arms, legs, and tail. You have a long, bushy tail that is highly coveted by others.

Size. Your adult height is often found between 4 and 5 feet. You weigh as much as an average humanoid of that size. Your size is Medium.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet

Terrain Traveler. When taking your Dash action, difficult terrain doesn’t cost you any extra movement. Climbing, swimming, and burrowing use normal movement.

Leaping Dodge. When a creature targets you for an attack that requires an attack roll, use your reaction to move to an unoccupied 5-foot square space adjacent to you. If the path to that space is not blocked by anything, the attacking creature automatically misses and attacks of opportunity are at a disadvantage while you move to that space. You can’t use this trait again until after a short or long rest.

Arctic Vulpine

Lore. Up in the far north, early vulpine settlers were met with a harsh environment that killed many of them. Those that survived kept themselves alive as they learned to combat the cold and avoid its dangerous creatures. Over generations, these vulpine evolved to survive the cold and rugged terrain. They developed tribes and soon fully functioning villages. Some became travelling nomads who move with the hunt while those that settled learned to raise cattle to sustain themselves. The two groups are often friendly and would trade among each other so to improve both their lifestyles.

Arctic vulpine are solitary creatures, more so than others of their race, and do not traditional have large family groups. After a vulpine has become of age, they are immediately thrusted out into the world. They are encouraged to either take on a job that will benefit their community or go out on their own to discover their own purpose. This fast track to adulthood causes many arctic to seemingly mature faster than most other races as they come to value independence for the sake of their own survival in a harsh world.

While arctic vulpine families are not often living together, they do still hold a bond with each other like many other races. During the winter solstice, there is a tradition amongst their people to have families gather to celebrate the longest winter together. Families often travelling great distances to the homes of their eldest family members. If that elder or family member had passed away since the last solstice, the gathered families would hold a ceremony to honor all who had past before moving on to more joyous festivities.

Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.

Alignment. The harsh tundra climate has made these vulpine true neutral creatures. Survival is a large part of their society and only strong personal connections are valued over strangers.

Appearance. You resemble the arctic fox and share many traits with it. In colder climates, you gain a thick coat of white fur that often blends in with the snow. During summer seasons or warmer climates, your coat with turn a gray or brown color. Some rare individuals keep their white fur all year around no mater the climate they are in.

Size. Your adult height is often found between 4 and 5 feet. You weigh as much as an average humanoid of that size. Your size is Medium.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet

Tundra Coat. You have resistance to cold damage due to your thick fur coat. You also have advantage on Stealth checks when in snowy terrain while your fur is white and rocky terrain while your fur is gray or brown.

Arctic Endurance. You have advantage against saving throws from spells with cold effects or from extremely cold weather conditions. You are unable to die from exhaustion caused by cold weather.

Fennec Vulpine

Lore. In the harsh, dry lands of the desert, the fennec had made a home among the rock and sand. Ever since their people first traversed these sands, they learned the plentiful bounties that lay hidden in the hot sands. Over the generations, they adapted to better survive in these harsh lands. Their ears had grown to great size so to allow them to hear what lays underneath. Their bodies changed so that they don’t suffer from thirst during long treks across endless dunes. They can still drink water if they wish, they mostly retrieve their hydration through the food that they eat. This amazing biology made them perfect desert dwellers.

Fennec vulpine do not tend to settle in one location. They are nomadic by nature and move from place to place after several seasons. In their travels, they would put their ears to the ground and listen carefully to the sound of the earth. Most nomads are treasure hunters who dig up rare artifacts and sell them to highest bidder. Due to dealing with all types of people, the fennec vulpine have a strong deal making sense. They can always tell who has the most coin in their purse thanks to their giant ears. Shifting from super friendly to extremely aggressive at a drop of a hat if it suits their negotiations.

Their small size and large ears tend to make them the most beloved of the vulpine races. People finding both features to be very adorable. Some fennec find this insulting while others take advantage of their cuteness to get what they want. Either way, they found a niche area in society that gives them a social advantage above other vulpine. The fennec vulpines developed two different “faces” it wears in social situations. One worn when with their own kind or those they are close to, and the one they wear for everyone else.

Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 1, and your Wisdom score increases by 2.

Alignment. Your kind are traders and nomads by nature. They are often lawful good or neutral as they believe in following the one’s own beliefs over the beliefs of others.

Appearance. Your appearance is that of a fennec fox. You are small with large bat-like ears, and small dark colored eyes. You have short, sand colored fur with little distinguishing marks. Your tail is less bushy than other vulpine.

Size. The fennec vulps are much smaller than their medium sized cousins. As adults, they are about 2 to 3 feet tall and weigh between 25 to 40 pounds. Your size is Small.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.

Bat Ears. You have advantage on all Perception checks that require hearing.

Desert Survivor. Due to fennec vulpines living in such a dry environment, you do not require to drink water to survive. When travelling through a desert or any terrain with similar environmental conditions, you do not suffer any exhaustion from it.

Zao Vulpine (aka the Kitsune subrace)

Lore. Many years ago, the vulpine race was given the choice of staying in their hidden home or explore the open world. Those that stayed continued in their traditions and ancient practices. Over time, they began to resemble more and more of their spiritual ancestors that first created them. The zao vulpine had begun the practice of channeling their divine power that was granted to them by their bloodline. Over the generations, young vulps were taught how to access this spiritual energy and manipulate it to do their will. Only a gifted few have learned to master it to the point of achieving abilities and traits that their mystical ancestors possessed.

At a young age, vulpine are trained to tap into their ancestor’s power, and the first sign of a potential candidate is the creation of fox fire. It is when this happens, the youth is brought forth to their elders and given a path to follow in life. Most become devote followers to their gods at a sacred shrine while others are given the path of the warrior. Some are even tasked to become weavers of magic or scholars. Once their path has been chosen, they are immediately sent off to be trained by a master to improve their skills.

Zao society is layered with strict guidelines and traditions that are expected to be followed. Those that do no follow these expectations are often treated like outcasts while those who are deemed “honorable” are often the most highly regarded members of their society. Large and influential families often maintain their strength by having a tight grip on these traditions. Family members that often don’t live up to their own families’ expectations find themselves in desperate situations. It is not uncommon to hear rumors of children of such families either being disowned or sent far away until they can prove themselves worthy. Often or not, they are sent out on quest to the outside world to retrieve a lost artifact and return it to their people as a form of restoring their family’s honor.

Vulpine that live in the hidden homeland of their people are forbidden to ever leave it. The older generation believe that their kind has no place among those that once shunned them. Others developed a sense of superiority over the outsiders due to their close attachment to their ancient ancestors. The only times when any of their kind is allowed to leave is either to retrieve something that had been lost, or they were banished. Some curious young folk would sneak out on their own to satisfy their curiosity. This is often met with anger from the elders who would often bar them from ever returning home. Only those from a highly regarded family with strong political ties are allowed back inside. Often, trained seekers would go after and forcefully return them to their families.

Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 1, and your Charisma score increases by 2.      

Alignment. You have a deep connection with your celestial ancestors and therefore share your alignment with their own. Fox spirits that work alongside gods tend to be extremely lawful towards that god’s alignment while the wilder spirits lean on being chaotic.

Appearance. You appear to be like any other fox with some key differences. Your fur is attuned to the weave of magic and easily manipulated to take on many colors. Common base colors among your race is gold, silver, black, white, and other bright colors. Young kits often have their parents paint their fur with a magic brush so to match their family’s colors and insignia. As they get older, a vulpine can decide on how they should appear.

Size. You are slightly taller than most other vulpine, ranging between 5 and 6 feet at adult size. You weigh as much as an average humanoid of that size. You are a Medium sized creature.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet

Splintered Tails. Through your spiritual ancestry, you inherited a tail with mystical properties. Starting at 5th level, a new tail will split off from your original that is either visible or invisible from everyone except those with true sight or other zao vulpine. Theses tails can move independently or in unison. A new tail will grow every two levels after the 5th (levels 5, 7, 9, etc.) to a maximum of nine tails.

Fox Magic. You have the innate ability to cast certain spells with Charisma as your spellcasting ability. At 1st level, you know the Dancing Lights cantrip. When cast with this trait, the spell assumes the form of ghostly fire that when combined takes on either a humaniod or fox shape. When touched by other creatures, the flames deal 1d4 fire damage unless you will them to be harmless. At 3rd level, you can use a leaf to cast Disguise Self and appear as either a person or object. If you turn into a weapon, you have the heavy property and deal 1d8 bludgeoning damage. When inspected, your illusion can be touched by another creature, but it doesn’t feel natural. Your ears and tail will immediately appear for all to see if you are discovered, damaged, intoxicated, frightened, exhausted, or unconscious. At 5th level, you can learn to cast either Phantasmal Force or Mirror Image as part of this trait. You can use both Disguise Self and your chosen spell up to a max number of times equal to 1 + your Charisma modifier (minimum of 1) before needing a long rest.

Hoshi no Tama. At 3rd level, you will manifest a magic item that appears to be a shining round jewel containing your spiritual essence. This “star ball” can be used as an arcane focus which allows you to exhaust one of its charges to cast a 3rd level or lower spell at its lowest level instead of a spell slot. You can also exhaust a charge to cast a spell from your Fox Magic trait if you ran out of uses for it. The max amount of charges this item can hold is equal to the number of tails you possess from your Splintered Tails trait (to max of 9 charges). During a short rest, you can spend Hit Dice to recharge this item by one charge per die spent. This item can only be used by the one who manifested it, and if it is destroyed, its creator will suffer three levels of exhaustion (to max of 5 levels). A new star ball is manifested 1d12 days after its initial destruction.

So again, feel free to use this in your own games. If you don’t like some of the traits I’ve given, let me know which ones and tell me why. I plan to add this race to the DnD Beyond site and I want to have the best version of this race represented on it. So your comments will help me consider what I need to do to improve this race.

As for why I named the kitsune subrace “Zao”, it is because their home in the lore has been heavily based on Japan’s Miyagi Zao Fox Village. A place in Japan where foxes are rescued from being slaughtered. Figured that would be an appropriate tribute for in-game lore.  You can, however, refer to them as Kitsune on your character sheets.

[stahvie]

A oneshot in which the reader can see the future so she is kept in control of Snoke (she is friends with Kylo and sometimes he brings gifts to her) But one day Snoke forces kylo ren to hold the girl while he enters her mind forcing her to have a vision and she gets very hurt and then Kylo takes care of her and kisses her gently promising to kill Snoke for what he did. Sorry for the details

Ahh! I just realised I read it wrong... uhhh... hope this is at least kinda what you were after :x

Word Count: 2146

Warnings: Whole lotta pain

Force sensitive, but not powerful enough to be taken on asan apprentice, there was one thing that kept you from the same tragic fate asothers with force sensitivity; you had the power of force vision.

Taken at a young age, you didn’t remember your life beforebecoming Snoke’s property, though certain scents could trigger a visionsometimes. With no memory of your past, all you knew was life as Snoke’s pet.You were moderately well kept though. Your wardrobe consisted of long crimsonrobes and your quarters were modest but nice. Your only real complaint was thatit was a lonely life.

Snoke kept you away from other people, if you weren’t withhim, you were confined to your room. The only person you had been allowedlimited contact with was Kylo Ren, another of his pets, albeit with a muchlonger leash.

Although Kylo was older than you, you’d been with Snoke formuch longer, but you could sense that in a way, Snoke had been an influenceover Kylo his whole life. It was clear Kylo felt some kind of sympathy for you,or maybe it was empathy considering he also knew how Snoke could be, eitherway, you were thankful to have this one friendly connection to reality.

Snoke would use you for the benefit of the First Order, toget the upper hand on his enemies, but mostly for his own agendas. Kylo was theopposite. Kylo never spoke to you about the war, he kept you up to date on thenicer things in the galaxy, and when possible, he’d bring you small trinketshe’d picked up on his missions as long as they were easy to conceal.

“I want to teach you something.” Kylo told you aftersneaking into your quarters shortly after Snoke had forbidden visitors,including your beauty-marked friend. You didn’t need the distraction he’d said.

“What is it?” You asked him.

“A way to close yourself off. Protect your mind fromintruders.” He said. “To hide your intentions and actions.”

“You know how to do that?”

“I’m still learning, but I’ve mostly got it figured out.”

“You? But you’re so impulsive. You think you can hide that?”You laughed softly at Kylo.

Had it been anyone else giggling at him, Kylo would havereacted very differently, but you were a kind soul. Kylo knew your laughter wasnever malicious. You were soft. Delicate. This was why he needed to protectyou.

The pair of you took turns trying to prevent each other fromentering your minds. It was no surprise that Kylo could easily invade yours, hewas powerful with the force and you really only had the one ability. Thatdidn’t stop him from encouraging you. He didn’t just want you to learn this sohe could secretly keep visiting you, Kylo also feared Snoke might break you insome way, and maybe this could help. He needed to keep you safe from theSupreme Leader.

“Use your vision to see what I’ve brought you.” Kylosuggested.

You concentrated. You couldn’t see into other people’sminds, that was something for people who were more adept with the force, still,you looked. It was a rock. It had been shaped into a cube about the size of adie and completely smooth. When you held it, it would change colour dependingon your mood. You could find similar objects at bazars and markets across thegalaxy but they were cheap imitations that would change based on bodytemperature. This was the real thing.

“Kylo! They’re so rare… how did you…?” You asked trying tobe polite. You could’ve looked for the answer yourself, but a proper conversationfelt a lot less rude and invasive.

“I came across it on my last mission.” Kylo answered. Therewas a pause. He didn’t want to burden you with details but you were veryclearly waiting for them. “A Senator. His allegiance had changed and we couldn’tlet him share First Order secrets with the enemy. He wasn’t going to need itanymore.”

Kylo withdrew the cube from his robes and placed it in yourhands. For something so small, it sure had a lot of weight to it. Your fingerstightened around it as you brought it up to your chest and thanked him. Many ofthe gifts Kylo had given you had been obtained via morally and ethicallyquestionable ways, but that never bothered you. It was the thought that counts,and each present was proof that he thought of you.

“What colour is it?”

You unwrapped your fingers from around it and brought itbetween the two of you. Pink. The same kind of pink that was beginning to tingeKylo’s cheeks.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it.” He said.

“What’s pink mean?” You asked.

Kylo moved toward the calligraphy set he’d once given youduring another visit. He created a guide depicting what each colour meant.There hadn’t been one with the cube when he took it from the Senator’s home sohe’d done some research of his own.

“Pink is love.” Kylo said, placing the parchment in yourempty hand. “I didn’t know for sure if you’d love it, but I’m glad you do.”

There was no way he thought you loving the gift was thereason for it being pink. The way your heart fluttered in his presence was allyou needed to know that the love you felt was for him. It was kind of him topretend not to notice. It must have been impossible for him not to pick up onit.

There were times when you wanted to use your vision to seeif he’d ever feel the same way about you, but you could never bring yourself todo it, no matter how curious you got. Finding out for sure that this feelingwas a one-way street would end the fantasy. It would be a breach of trust aswell.

Kylo didn’t want you wasting your energy on him by askingyou to tell him what would happen in his future, not that you wouldn’t havebeen happy to do it for him. In exchange for the gift, though definitely not ofequal value, you took a peek at something for him.

“Keep working on hiding your intentions, Kylo.” You toldhim. “You’re nearly there. You’ll get it soon. Ask one of the Knights.”

As time went on, Kylo continued to sneak in visits. Throughpractice and meditation, you’d actually started picking up the technique he’dbeen trying to teach you. True to your vision, he’d mastered it, though theonly use he’d had for it so far was to hide the fact he’d been seeing you. TheSupreme Leader never bothered to double check with you to see if Kylo had beenkeeping away from you. He didn’t believe you had it in you to deceive him likethat.

Kylo definitely had an influence on you. Before you met him,you never would have lied to Snoke, now you had a small rebellious streak. Tiny,but still present. Had he bothered to look into your mind a while ago, he’dhave seen your betrayal, but it was too late now.

You hadn’t mastered the technique, but it took some effortto look past the wall you could build up to shield your mind. Kylo wasconfident you were safer now with this protection. There wasn’t anyway he couldhave known otherwise.

Snoke had been made aware long ago about how he would die,close combat, which was what the Praetorian Guard had specialised in, but thatwas as much as he knew.

That night, like most nights, your dreams heavily featuredKylo. It was a reoccurring dream. A field with blooming flowers, a scene you’dnever seen but felt nostalgic for. Both of you dressed in clothes you’d neverseen outside of your dreams. Always smiling. That was one thing you didrecognise from reality. You got the impression he didn’t smile a lot outside ofhis visits. It was nice to believe he was saving them for you, but you’d preferif he was always happy, and not just when he was with you. He deservedhappiness.

It was a simple dream, but it was a nice place to escape to.This night it changed. Snoke was there. He shouldn’t have been there. Kylo wasenraged by his intrusion. A black mist enveloped the beautiful field and thethrone room took its place. Hatred poured from Kylo and then it happened. Youjolted awake, the final fragments of your vision faded from your sight. Snoke’sbody in pieces.

This was bad. No one could know about this. You just had toact naturally because the thought of what Snoke would do to Kylo if he foundout was too painful to bear.

The Supreme Leader picked up on it almost immediately. Thesecond you met with him in the throne room he could tell there was somethingoff with you. Without a moment’s hesitation he was in your mind. You had toprotect Kylo.

The wall went up. This was the main reason Snoke kept youaround. There was no guarantee you’d have a vision about this, he’d try toforce you to have one many times when he first obtained you but neversucceeded. Now you had the information he desired, but there was no way youwere going to let him have it.

You could feel him inside your head. It was never acomfortable experience. He saw it. There was a barrier blocking him fromsomething. He needed to know.

Probing deeper, your brain felt like it was on fire. Diggingfurther, you felt pieces of your mind being torn apart and ripped open. Snokebecame paranoid. You were hidingsomething. That couldn’t be possible. You were barely force sensitive, you hadno training, there was no way you could hide something from him. It didn’t makesense to him but he had to keep looking.

“Show me what you’re hiding and this will end.” Snokesnarled.

Memories you didn’t know even existed were ripped violentlyfrom your head. Every time you focused on something to distract yourself, Snokeslashed at it, destroying it and continued his assault.

The agony was too much. You were fading. Your mind wasshattered and could no longer support your body. Losing consciousness, you fellto the ground blacking out.

You were back in your bed when you came to. A dark figurerushed to your side. It took a moment before you realised it was Kylo as hescooped you up and held you tightly against his broad chest.

“Kylo…?” You began, your voice croaky and cracking.

“Just relax.” He cooed. “Don’t try to speak, just rest.”

“I… I ache. I hurt in the weirdest places. What did he do tome?” You asked.

“You’ll be alright. You just need time.” Kylo said.

A tear escaped your eye. Snoke had broken you. He hadn’t wonthough, Kylo was here with you, that was a good sign the Supreme Leader hadn’tfound what he was looking for. Gently resting in Kylo’s arms, you knew the partof your mind that you’d tried to hide was still intact.

“What happened in there?” He asked. “Why wouldn’t you justgive him the information he wanted? What are you hiding from him?”

“It’s safer if you don’t know.”

Finding the small amount of strength, you had left in yourbody, you wrapped your arms over Kylo’s shoulders and held on as tightly as youcould. Kylo’s arms snaked around you, one hand on your lower back, the othersoftly raking through your hair. He pulled you away from him slightly a fewtimes. Each time, he looked like there was something he needed to say, but justcouldn’t find the words.

“I’m going to kill him.” He spoke softly into your neck. “I’llkill him for doing this to you.”

You pulled away from him to look directly into his eyes.Those honey-brown eyes looked as hurt as you felt. He drew you back in, guidingyour forehead to his. His breath was warm and soothing, you closed your eyesand let your face melt into his, cheek to cheek.

Kylo turned so slightly, capturing your lips in his. Hishands gripped you tighter, afraid he’d lose you. Your weak fingers grasped athim to reassure him that he never would. You kissed him back as hard as youwere capable of, if only this had happened sooner, if only this had happenedwhen you could really show him how much he meant to you all this time. Still,his pink lips were soft. Softer than you’d ever imagined. Kylo could kiss awayyour pain any day.

“… I know.”

[fanficshiddles]

I’m still breathing, Chapter 22

Loki’s nostrils flared as he glared daggers at Owen.

‘You have no right to call her that.’ Clint snapped.

Owen glanced around the room, looking at all The Avengers who were staring him down. Then he looked back at Sophie.

‘How about we go and chat somewhere private?’ He asked her.

‘No. I’m happy here, thanks. Whatever you have to say, I want my friends to hear too.’ Sophie said, holding her head high.

Owen didn’t seem too happy with that answer, but he knew he wasn’t going to have another option. He sat down on a chair opposite Sophie.

The poor girl didn’t know where to begin. She had so many questions, but found she didn’t know where to start. She was just staring at the man who claimed he was her father. She couldn’t really see the resemblance herself, being honest. But the blood results wouldn’t lie.

‘Sophie. Are you alright, love?’ Loki asked softly and rubbed her back.

She nodded and gave him a small smile before turning back to look at Owen. ‘What happened with my mother? Were you both together or was it a one night fling?’

Owen leaned forward in his chair. ‘It was more than just a fling. We were together for 5 months. But unfortunately we split up and I left before I knew she was pregnant. I didn’t find out until you were a few months old. She wouldn’t let me see you, moved house so I had no idea where the both of you were.’  

Sophie felt a little pang inside of her.

‘But, why did you stop looking for me? I’ve been on the streets for years!’

‘My mutation got out of control during the time I was trying to see you. I got taken by Hydra who did experiments on me. I was there for fifteen years before SHIELD managed to save me. By then I had no clue where you were or even if you were still in the country. It wasn’t until you got taken here by these guys that I found out. When SHIELD ran your bloods, they found a match in my records.’

Steve frowned. ‘Why have you waited all these months? She’s been here for ages.’

Owen looked over at Steve, slightly irritated for the interruption.

‘I was away in Japan on a mission for SHIELD. I only got back a few days ago. I’ve been desperate to come back to see you sooner, though.’ Owen smiled at Sophie.

Sophie’s stomach was in knots. She was struggling to take everything in. Could she believe him, truly? She looked at Loki and he could tell what she was thinking, he put his hand on her knee and gave her a reassuring squeeze. As far as he could tell, Owen was telling the truth.

‘What’s your mutation?’ Sophie asked.

‘I just breathe underwater. Not as spectacular as your powers, I believe. How are you coming along with them?’

‘Fine. They’re getting better.’ Sophie nodded. She still had her guard up, but wasn’t willing to let that down just yet. ‘Did you know that my mother died from a drug overdose?’ She blurted out, wanting to know.

Owen’s face dropped. But he nodded. ‘Yeah. I knew. SHIELD told me.’

Something wasn’t sitting right with Loki though. ‘You say your powers got out of control. But you only breathe underwater, so how did they become out of control?’

‘There was a period where I wasn’t able to breathe above water. I had to be submerged underwater constantly for a while. It was awful.’

‘So, your powers didn’t always work in your favour?’ Sophie asked.

‘No. I don’t think anyone’s ever does, really. Being a mutant can be a challenge. Until you’ve got your powers completely harnessed, they can be dangerous and take a while to control. I’m sure that yours have played havoc with you?’

‘Yeah… They have.’ She nodded.

‘In what way?’ Owen asked.

‘Just, not happening when I want it to. Or happening when I don’t want it to.’

Owen nodded. He looked around the room, looking at the team individually. They were all still there, watching and listening intently. On Sophie’s side.

‘Can we perhaps now chat in private?’ Owen asked.

Sophie shook her head. ‘I… I think this is enough for today. I need to do some training.’ Sophie stood up, feeling a bit awkward now. Loki stood up with her, his arm around her waist.

‘I would love to train with you. I could really help you out, mutant to mutant. Father to daughter.’

‘I need time.’ Sophie said quickly.

Owen’s smile faded, but he nodded in understandment.

‘Perhaps you should go for today.’ Loki muttered.

‘If that’s what Sophie wants.’ Owen looked to Sophie.

Sophie nodded. ‘I need some time.’

‘I understand. It would be nice to get to know you more. Make up for lost time… It was fantastic to finally meet you.’ Owen looked like he wanted to hug her, but he knew by Sophie’s body language that wasn’t the best thing to do.

So he just left quietly, much to Sophie’s relief. She fell back down onto the sofa, she was shaking and felt conflicted with what just happened. The rest of the team left her and Loki alone, knowing that was best. But Sophie thanked them all for being there for her.

‘You were so brave, love. I’m proud of you.’ Loki kissed her head and held her until she calmed down.

‘I can’t believe I have a… a father. I don’t know what to think.’

‘I couldn’t detect any lies from him… But I’d still be cautious.’ Loki said softly.

‘When he was looking for me… What if he had found me? I might not have had to be on the streets for so long. If my mother hadn’t kept him from seeing us.’ Sophie hissed angrily, feeling a hatred towards her mother for stopping him.

‘While I am not condoning what your Mother did, there is always two sides to every story. Unfortunately this one, you will never know. But perhaps there was a genuine reason for her actions. Maybe he was abusive, or on drugs himself. Perhaps an alcoholic. You just never know, love.’

‘I know… You’re right… Again.’ She smiled slightly.

‘I could get used to hearing you say that.’ Loki chuckled.

Sophie took the following few days to take everything in before deciding about whether she wanted to see Owen again or not. She was constantly on edge about it, unsure whether to let him back in. As Fury said that Owen simply wanted to hang around the base, to get to know Sophie more.

But in the end, she decided to give him a chance.

Sophie and Loki were training in the hall one day. They were doing some combat work. Sophie was working on her high kicks that Natasha had shown her. But Loki was so damn tall that she struggled to kick higher than his chest.  

‘Try and jump as you kick.’ Loki suggested.

‘Do you really want to see me fall flat on my ass?’

‘Well, that would be amusing.’ Loki teased, grinning.

Sophie narrowed her eyes at him slightly. But she gave it a try and attempted to get some height as she kicked. But her foot caught his upper arm and instead she did fall, but Loki was quick and caught her before she hit the floor.

‘See! I knew that would happen.’ Sophie grumbled as Loki put her back on her feet.

‘It will take time. Perhaps Natasha should give you some more pointers.’

‘I want her to teach me how to do a headlock with my thighs. I’ve seen her do that move before and it looks awesome.’ Sophie said excitedly.

‘You can catch me in a headlock with your thighs any day.’ Loki purred, his eyes darkening as he circled his arms around her and pulled her in flush against his body.

‘That might be fun.’ Sophie giggled and went up on her tiptoes to kiss him as he leaned down. He sneaked his hands down and squeezed her ass playfully, making her squeal against his lips.

Their kiss was ruined though when they heard coughing. Their heads snapped up and over to the door, to see Owen stood there.

‘Hi.’ He waved awkwardly.

Sophie heard Loki growl low in his chest at the interruption. But she looked at Loki with an eyebrow up and whispered to him. ‘Behave!’

‘I always do.’ He whispered back before the two went over to greet Owen.

‘Tony said you were in here training. Mind if I watch? Then I thought after we could grab some lunch and have a chat?’ Owen smiled.

‘Loki and I already have lunch plans, sorry… But you’re welcome to watch us train and we can chat after lunch?’ Sophie suggested.

‘Oh, of course. Sure.’ Owen nodded.

Loki and Sophie went back into the middle of the hall. Though they both felt a little unnerved being watched, Owen went and sat on the bench at the side-lines.

But the two continued training. Sophie worked on her punches as well while Loki dodged them and helped her work on her aim. Once finished they had worked up a real sweat.

‘So you don’t train with your powers?’ Owen asked as the two grabbed towels that were near him to wipe their faces.

‘Not every day, no.’ Sophie shook her head.

‘Why not? Surely with your powers you don’t need anything else.’ Owen frowned.

‘Phasing would only do so much. I need to be able to fight too.’

‘She’s brilliant with her daggers. You should see her use them tomorrow.’ Loki said proudly.

‘Daggers?’

‘Yeah. Loki’s been teaching me.’ Sophie smiled.

Sophie and Loki went off together to shower and then go out for lunch. Owen had to make do with eating in the kitchen with some of the other Avengers. Who were still suspicious of him, like Sophie and Loki were.

‘So, my daughter is dating a god?’ Owen asked, trying to break the silence. Tony, Clint, Natasha and Thor were the only ones there.

‘She is.’ Clint nodded.

‘Isn’t he evil?’

‘Watch how you call my brother. He is not evil.’ Thor accused.

‘Sorry… But he did try and destroy New York, didn’t he? Is he safe for my daughter to be around?’

Clint frowned. ‘Do you really think after being in Sophie’s life for less than a week that you have the right to call her that? You don’t know anything about her, or Loki. Any of us for that matter. You’re still a stranger. So before you come in here and start complaining about Sophie’s life you need to get your finger out of your ass and work on getting to know her.’

Owen was slightly taken aback at Clint’s outburst.

‘And Loki too. Since he’s important in her life.’ Tony added. He never thought he’d be sticking up for the god of mischief.

‘Sorry. I didn’t realise it was such a touchy subject.’ Owen tried to laugh, but no one else found it funny. ‘So… Do Sophie and Loki go on lunch dates often?’

‘Every Monday they have a lunch date. Then every Thursday and Sunday they have date night. I’d recommend you don’t interrupt their routine of that.’ Said Natasha.

‘Right.’ Owen trailed off and just ate his sandwich in silence, he knew he wasn’t exactly welcomed there. He just hoped he could change that in time.

‘Do we have to go back?’ Sophie groaned after she and Loki finished eating pudding in their favourite underground club.

‘We don’t have to. But I think Owen will be wanting to see you.’ Loki chuckled.

‘I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by seeing him.’ She sighed.

‘It will take time. You won’t know until things progress more, darling. Just take your time, don’t rush into anything. Take all the time you need. He at least owes you that, considering it’s taken him 22 years to show his face.’

Loki pulled her chair out for her and helped her into her jacket, like the perfect gentleman.

‘Thanks.’ Sophie smiled. ‘And you’re right… I need to take my time. But part of me doesn’t want anything to do with him. I’ve been alone my whole life. Now I have you and the team. I feel like I don’t need anyone else.’

‘You will always have us. It’s not a bad thing having a relative in your life. It just depends on how much involvement you want. And that is all in your court. It always will be.’

‘True… Though I’m not so sure how much involvement I want.’ She sighed.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

536-537: "The Battle in the Ryugu Palace! Zoro vs Hordy!" and "Keep Shirahoshi Safe! Decken Close Behind!"

GLORIOUS JUSTICE. THANK YOU, ODA!

I swear when this happened, a ray of light shone down upon my laptop and a celestial chorus sang.

Of course, Decken is not down and out yet. 

This might sound strange, but I’m oddly glad. For all the crap he’s put Shirahoshi through for ten years - ten years! - he needs to suffer a bit more. A decade’s worth of suffering in one go should do the trick.

Also, poor little Megalo is having a rough time right now. Give the shark a break, Luffy. He’s doing his best. 

(Oh, and thanks to the person who gave me my first ever Ko-fi donation. Set one up on advice of a NWOP reader. Donations are absolutely **not essential**. I am doing this because I like One Piece and want to see this through, so entries will keep coming no matter what, but I did appreciate it. Thanks! ^_^)

No Such Thing As Bad Publicity?

And it was all going so well!

Luffy’s plan was ticking along smoothly. He was drifting along with Megalo and Shirahoshi. Some clouds passed. In their shapes, Luffy saw various meats. Shirahoshi saw fish-based lifeforms. Megalo was frantically suppressing his gag-reflex. Life was good.

Unbeknownst to Luffy, just below him, Sanji and Chopper had found Hachi washed up on shore, horribly injured. Local Fishmen and Merfolk crowded round them and it seems news spreads fast on Fishman Island because the locals were not pleased to see them. They were armed and they had not come to have a quiet chat.

They accused Sanji and Chopper of kidnapping three young mermaids while the rest of the crew had taken over Ryugu Palace. Sanji, who had been bed-bound the entire time, had no idea what was going on. “It’s true that I love mermaids so much that I wanna take them away but we did not kidnap them.” Chopper, the oblivious, dedicated doctor, asked for quiet so he could concentrate, even when it was clear the crowd was hostile. (I bet he was confident enough in Sanji’s crowd control skills to let him work on Hachi.)

Just at the point when the locals started pelting objects at Sanji and Chopper (which could have degenerated into a rolling cartoon ball of limbs), Luffy passed overhead, noticed them and jumped down. He was horrified when he saw the state Hachi was in.

“How did this happen? Who did this to you?” I swear, post Sabaody, Luffy is now almost as protective of Hachi as he is of his crew. No one will able to ever touch Hachi again for fear of Luffy’s wrath. Just goes to show you how loyal Luffy is to his friends.

The locals who had gathered round were also gathering their courage and their outrage. They muttered to each other. The Strawhats had been kidnapping mermaids. They were holding Ryugu Palace. Why? Were they after the princess too? No. Surely not! She had been in hiding for ten years. Impossible! She was guarded day and night by Neptune’s army. The princess, at least, would be safe, right?

With perfect comic timing, Megalo crashed to the ground and his gag reflex finally kicked in. 

Everyone just stared in shock at the princess. Even Luffy realised things were not quite going to plan, which was one of the things I liked about this scene, to be honest.

When the local Fishfolk were ready to lay down their lives defending Shirahoshi from the Evil Pirate Who Made Her Cry, Luffy did not lift a hand to them. Maybe he realised they were innocent people who’d just got the wrong end of the stick. He did not fight back or hurt a single one of them. Sanji and Chopper must have known that too because they also let themselves be captured. (I swear those Fishfolk will be telling that story for years to come: about how they captured Strawhat Luffy, Black Leg Sanji and Dr Chopper of the Strawhats.)

Well, Sanji didn’t do much because he had an out-of-body experience when he turned round and saw Shirahoshi. xD

While the locals crowed over their victory, Luffy said, “Um.... there’s something flying towards us.”

Just Casually Using This Again Because I Like Seeing It

Of course, it was Captain Sex-Pest. Armed with an axe, he shrieked his hundred-millionth proposal to Shirahoshi and demanded an immediate answer. “Death or marriage! Will you marry me? WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER?”

Her answer?

“Y---- YOU’RE NOT MY TYPE!”

Yes. Stick it to him, Shirahoshi.

I wish I could say he left her alone after that, but Decken is a total incel. “You trampled on my feelings of ten years! If you don’t love me, your very existence irritates me!”

Hence the reason Luffy gave Decken an ass-whooping. 

“ARE YOU THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN THROWING THINGS AT COWARD?”

You do not throw things at Coward. Not on Luffy’s watch. 

That beautiful Gear 2nd smackdown with his hands and legs tied was poetry in motion. (Also like that he can use Haki for protecting innocent people: knocking them out for a while until he gets the job done. Useful for civilian crowd control.) 

I loved it when Decken tried to call his Sea Bonze flunky only to see Luffy knock his front tooth out in one punch.

Ha ha, Decken. Must be hard realising your crew are fodder level.

Just as well you have Hordy Jones to back you up, otherwise you’d be up shit creek.

Meanwhile, At The Palace...

When I saw the way the Fishmen reacted towards Luffy, Sanji and Chopper, I thought right away about Hordy Jones and Arlong and their ideology. Then I heard how Hachi described him: “strong” with “dangerous thoughts” and I’m thinking maybe one of the most dangerous things - maybe the most dangerous thing - about Hordy Jones is his ideas.

I can already see the local Fishmen latching on to his hatred for humans. Now the Strawhats have accidentally given the Fishmen a focus for their hatred, maybe they’ll start to think, “Hordy Jones and Arlong were right all along. These humans come here, they kidnap Merfolk and sell them as slaves, we are oppressed by humans... why should we tolerate this?”

What was it that that American Civil Rights activist said? Something like, “You can kill a man, but you can’t kill an idea.”

Ideas are difficult things. Maybe once the idea is out there, when Fishmen see what Hordy Jones describes actually happening before their eyes, that idea grows arms and legs and all a sudden everyone thinks, “This guy is right. Humans are scum.”

It happens all the time in real life.

I might be wrong but maybe Hordy Jones might be one of those villains where he latches onto that sentiment and uses it to push his ideology. And it’s one he truly believes in because he saw one of his friends almost kidnapped by a pirate. Arlong saved him. But others weren’t so lucky.

At least now some of the stuff I picked up on from the last episodes has been explained. Hordy only entered the Royal Army to learn combat. He had designs on becoming Arlong’s right-hand man all along. (Does that explain the tattoo Nami spotted? Or is a tribute?) He has always hated the ruling class of Fishman Island. He accused Neptune of failing to notice what had been going on for years, the mistreatment of Fishmen and Merfolk on their own territory by humans. 

Now, Hordy Jones wants to restore Arlong’s dream.

Now, Nami is clever and I wonder if she understands the Fishman mindset more than most humans, as she had been with the Arlong Pirates for so long? She knows something is up, anyway. That maybe there is something more to this than just a tribute act. While Hordy was powering up, crushing a hole in the palace wall to deliberately flood the room, Nami asked Camie to take her to the Sea Forest to meet Jimbei. She is wondering why Jimbei told Luffy not to fight Hordy.

To be honest, so am I. What is your game, Jimbei? Are you trying to protect Hordy Jones? Because Luffy sure as hell doesn’t need protected. 

Fishman Shield No-Jutsu

Hordy’s fight with Zoro was pretty cool. He was strong enough to crush the wall without Fish Roids, and was smart enough to flood the room and give himself the advantage. After all, this was the crew who ruined Arlong’s grand vision. He is also as ruthless as Arlong, breaking out the water arrows pretty quickly.

Zoro, who had seen them before, deflected them (and Neptune became a shield for his men, how nice is that? I’ve decided. He is a good guy, really.) Hordy was impressed Zoro had lived to see them twice. Usopp recognised that Hordy was stronger than Arlong, but Zoro is on another level now. Wasting no time, Zoro pulled out a Bird Slash Dance and went in for the kill.

Buuuuuuuuuut, Hordy is more ruthless. He grabbed one of his goons and turned said goon into a meat shield. Would Arlong have done that to his crew? I doubt it. Arlong even respected Nami, a human member of his crew, though he treated her terribly. Hordy treats everyone like crap.

The Meat Shield moment was a nice visual callback to the Arlong and Bellemere scene (though not as powerful as the emotional connection wasn’t there).

I was more impressed by Zoro, who was able to fight a Fishman under water.

Maybe not a good idea to rush head on at a Master Swordsman trained by Dracule Mihawk, Hordy. Just a thought.

You know, I feel a bit sorry for Brook, who joined the crew late and has absolutely no clue what the hell is going on. He has no idea who Arlong is and why everyone is so angry, just that he’s neck deep in water and is slowly losing the will to live. xD

Oh, and Robin has wandered off into the Sea Forest. She’s not strictly allowed to go in, but when has that ever stopped her?

Your feedback is important to us. Please hold.

[pherryt]

Supernatural Sci Fi Rec List

This is the second rec list in a series I’m making (first was the Destiny Fic Rec List). The art for this list was made by me ( @dragonpressgraphics​ ) for Colliding Worlds

By Pherryt/Me

What’s the Truth?: Wordcount: 8256, General, Destiel  Android!Cas, Android phobia, Secrets, Explosions, Angst, Hurt/Comfort Summary:  Dean has never made a secret of his hatred for AI's - especially androids. His whole world is turned on it's edge when he finds out Cas has been hiding something big from him since they met... and before he can even come to terms with it, he almost loses Cas for good.

Colliding Worlds: Wordcount: 54009, General, Destiel   Crossover with Doctor Who, Canon Divergent Season 11 Summary What happens if the Doctor meets our boys? When the supernatural meets the other wordly? Can the boys expand their worldview to include aliens?? A fun exercise in colliding worlds...

Crossing Fantasies: Wordcount: 6839, Teen, Destiel  Crossover with Star Trek, Bunker Fic Summary  Dean's minding his own business in the bunker when 3 very impossible people show up in his room amid a glory of sparkles. There's no way he could be facing down Captain James T. Kirk, Doctor McCoy and Commander Spock - they're fictional characters from a TV show for fucks sake, right? So why was he holding a gun on the very real presence of three strangers claiming to be just that in his own bedroom at a supposedly impervious Bunker?

You Stole My Line!: Wordcount: 2888, General, Destiel   Crossover with Doctor Who, Season Codas up to 12  Summary  Because really, Dean's gonna brag about killing Hitler, and that's going to make some people a little jealous...you know who I'm talking about right? And then in the end, it helps Dean open up a little bit more...

Midnight Adventures: Wordcount: 8992, Explicit, DCJ  Crossover with Doctor Who, Coitus Interuptus and feels  Summary  Dean, Jimmy and Cas had moved to the middle of nowhere for a reason. Relationships such as theirs were hardly ever understood to begin with. Throw in the fact that, well, Dean's boyfriends were related to each other, and it causes quite an outcry. So. Middle of nowhere. Lots of land and privacy. And all they wanted to do was celebrate their anniversary in peace. And sex (definitely sex). Of course, time traveling aliens with their magic box kinda put a damper on that. But that's okay - he makes up for it in the end.

The Replacement Engineer: Wordcount: 3061, Explicit, Destiel  ABO, Non Trad, Omegas Cas and Dean, Switching  Summary  Dean's the doctor on Charlies ship, and he's just met Castiel - the replacement for their previous engineer. Nobody expected them to take such an instant liking to each other. After that, it was only a matter of time before Sam was scarred for life and Charlie needed to give the ship a few upgrades. But it wasn't really their fault!

Humanities Second Chance: Wordcount: 3076, Explicit, Saileen  ABO, Post Apocalyptic, Omega Sam, Alpha Eileen, Switching  Summary  The world changed after the Earth rose up against humanity. Disaster after disaster struck, decimating the population, but as humans have always found a way to do - they survived. They might have changed a little in the process but, they survived. Not that the new generation of kids knew anything different. They hear the stories, the tales, but to them, this is the new normal. And Sam is about to embark on the next phase of his life - getting mated

Solitary Flights and Second Chances: Wordcount: 7415, General, Destiel  Astronaut Dean, NASA style Summary  All Dean's life, all he wanted was to go into space. He's sacrificed a lot on the way to that dream. Now he has it and he realizes... he sacrificed too much. Way too much. Sabatoge, injury and an aborted trip are a strange way to get back the things he lost... that most precious thing of all... but if he can salvage something good from all this, he'll take it. he just needs to get back home alive, first.

More Recs (Not Mine)

Purgatory: Population 1 By  @jhoomwrites​ : Wordcount: 13165, Mature  Destiel, Mark of Cain, Crashlanding  Summary:  While helping out a group of terraformers, Dean ends up with a mysterious Mark on his arm that gives him the urge to kill. After giving up on the idea of a cure, Dean comes up with the only solution he can think of: he takes his ship, picks a direction, and flies until he’s so lost no one will ever find him. And for a few years, it works. Dean has a planet full of monsters all to himself, monsters he can kill and maim and satisfy his dark impulses. At least until a stranger crash lands on his planet. Will Dean be able to resist long enough to help this man leave? And what if he doesn't want him to leave?

Well Build Ourselves by @reallyelegantsharkfish / : Wordcount: 5420, Explicit Destiel, Android Summary: An android walks into Dean’s shop. (italics)

I'll Cross the Sky for You by  Superhoney  : Wordcount: 33364, Explicit Destiel, Top!Cas, Bottom!Dean, Courier/Captan Cas, CoffeeShop Owner Dean Summary: Castiel thinks it sounds ridiculous: a spaceship that’s also an Earth-style coffeeshop? But upon his first visit to The Family Business, he quickly realizes that the owner, Dean Winchester, is incredibly handsome, the pastries are delicious, and the coffee is out of this world. One visit leads to another, and before long, Castiel is completely won over by both the coffeeship and its owner. It’s hard to maintain a relationship when you’re constantly flying across the vastness of space, but for the sake of both his heart and his stomach, Castiel swears he and Dean will make it work

And then there were five by @feartheophanim : Wordcount: 5969, Teen Destiel, Spaceflight, Ship to Ship Battle Summary: Dean is the best engineer on base, and his father keeps refusing his requests for off-world assignments. Pissed off with the same old-same old, Dean goes for a drink and meets a stranger who offers him a job on his ship. Things are harder than Dean expected, out there in space, but things soon take a turn for the strange. He is left with far more than he bargained for.

the light of falling stars by by @procasdeanating : Wordcount: 4980, Explicit Destiel, Alien!Cas, Battles Summary:  … when Lieutenant Dean Winchester and the two ships under his command engaged in combat with a Seraph squadron. Two army ships were destroyed, while one fighter, presumably Lt. Winchester’s, made a forced landing on a nearby uninhabited class D planet after triggering the emergency protocol. The ongoing search has not produced conclusive results. Lt. Winchester is classified as missing in action…

The Ark by  @pimentogirl : Wordcount: 2776, Explicit Destiel, reunion, hurt/comfort Summary: The Ark, a triple class interstellar craft, offering the opportunity to travel between colonies regardless of Tier Status... ...and the last place left to look...

Because of Harrison Bergeron by  @nachsie : Wordcount: 5249, Not Rated destiel, sabriel, Android Summary: In the year 2081, amendments to the Constitution dictate that all Americans are fully equal and not allowed to be smarter, better-looking, or more physically able than anyone else. The Handicapper General's agents enforce the equality laws, forcing citizens to wear "handicaps": masks for those who are too beautiful, radios inside the ears of intelligent people, and heavy weights for the strong or athletic. When Harrison Bergeron in an attempt to overthrow the government is gunned down, the strongest able to break from the control start a rebellion that leads to an all out war. One rebellion group lead by Harrison's baby brother, Sam in it's attempt to destroy the government runs into a sleeper citizen base, running into by fate a sleeper teenager called Castiel

Real Skilled at People by Astarloa / : Wordcount: 1456, Mature  (This reminds me of a Robert Heinlein short that I loved but can’t find anymore. If anyone knows where to find it, I’d love to know!)  Summary:   In an alternate future reality there's a black market doctor named Robert and a man who yearns for wings.

Looking to the Sky to Save Me by raths_kitten / : Wordcount: 8693, Explicit Destiel, Bounty Hunters Cas and Sam Summary: Sam and Castiel are bounty hunters. When a warrant is out for Dean, Sam convinces Castiel to catch him. Loosely based on Killjoys.

Dreaming in Digital by @ltleflrt : Wordcount: WIP (80k +), Explicit Destiel, Sabriel, Post Apocalyptic, Androids, Bounty Hunters Summary: When Dean finds a deactivated sex bot, he knows it's his lucky day.

Qualia by @imogenbynight : Wordcount: 26600, Explicit AI, Bring Tissues, Destiel, Sam/Jess Summary: When Sam & Jess move into a smart home, Dean finds an unlikely match in the AI that keeps it running.

Lost and Found by @destieltrashland : Wordcount: 22928, Explicit Destiel, Sam/Jess, Nod to Space Seed (Star Trek), Character Death (not Team Free Will) Summary: When he reached the hatch door he looked through the small window, shining the light from his helmet inside. The cargo area was cleaner than the front of the ship, due to being sealed off from the tear in the hull, and it still held a sizable number of items within. The items floated under nets keeping them tethered to the floor. “What strange readings?” he asked as he pointed his own tricorder inside. “Power signatures and –“ she paused, pressing buttons on the screen as if to confirm her assessment, “life signs.”                                                       ----- Castiel and crew find something unexpected while recovering an ancient spaceship. Dean and Sam struggle to adjust to life 300 years in the future.

[klein-archive]

‘What does death represent to the individual?’ – Melanie Klein’s response to a letter from Joan Riviere, 3rd June 1940

8th November 2018

This month I am posting a couple of wartime letters, which I thought appropriate on the 100th anniversary of Armistice Day, 11th November 1918.

Folder C.96 in Melanie Klein’s archive consists of ten pages, including a two-page letter written by Joan Riviere to Klein on 3rd June 1940. In this letter Riviere asks Klein to lay out some of her thoughts on the ongoing war, and the psychological ‘causes’ behind such destructive conflict. This exchange – saturated with anxiety about the worsening situation – took place at a moment when the UK was under real threat of Nazi invasion and when, as Riviere says, ‘the possibility of our work all coming to an end seems so near’.

Riviere‘s letter is handwritten, while Klein’s response (undated, presumably written not long after Riviere‘s) is typed. No record remains of the list of questions suggested by Riviere to Klein. I have given Riviere‘s letter in full, but in the case of Klein’s notes I have done some minor editing for clarity’s sake. Her text was clearly not meant to be read out exactly as it was written down. Rather, it resembles a series of notes, a kind of aide-memoire for her talk, to which Riviere refers in her letter. It is unclear as to whether this talk was ever given, as Klein left London for Pitlochry at the end of June 1940; like many of her colleagues, she temporarily relocated to avoid the heavy bombing of London.

The majority of this fragment from the Klein archive has, in fact, previously been published by Claudia Frank (2003), but only in German. An English translation of Frank’s paper will appear as part of a collection of materials from the Klein archive, to be published by Routledge in 2019 (Jane Milton, in preparation). Meanwhile, Michal Shapira (2013) has written about Klein’s concept of ‘the Hitler inside us’ during the Second World War, and is currently preparing another book about Klein, based on archival material from this period (to be published by Cambridge University Press). The letter from Joan Riviere appears in a new biography by Marion Bower (2018).

Below is the letter from Joan Riviere:

Harefield                                                                 (4 Stanhope Terrace, W.2)                                                                                            June 3. 1940

My dear Melanie

When the first official mention of invasion began, the possibility of our work all coming to an end seemed so near. I felt we should all have to keep it in our hearts, perhaps, as the only way to save it for the future. Also of course I was constantly thinking of the psychological causes of such terrible loss and destruction as may happen to mankind. So I had the idea of your telling me (and then a group of us) everything you think about these causes, so that all of us who can understand these things at all should share and know as much as possible, to help to preserve it.

My idea is that you should tell us first what you believe to be the causes 1) of the German psychological situation, and  2) Secondly of that of the rest of Europe and mainly the Allies, since the last war. To me the apathy and denial of danger in the Allies especially England is not clear (I never shared it). 3) How is it connected with what I call the ‘Munich’ complex – the son’s incapacity to fight for mother and country, and his homosexual leanings.

These are the sort of questions I wanted you to speak of. I thought we would have no discussion – the only questions should be to get your meaning clear. I asked people to send in questions beforehand, which I can probably arrange in some order and bring up at a moment when you are dealing with that kind of point. If there is time I would send you the points before. Do you go to 9 Manchester Square on Saturday before the meeting? Or where will you be?

I shall be in the country till some time in the afternoon, then at home until about 6.45.

Thank you very much for your letter of 24th May. It is a good thing you have sent your papers abroad. But I believe we shall pull through, all of us, including you!

I am so looking forward to Saturday – psa [psychoanalysis] is a great anodyne in all this anxiety!

With much love

Yours ever

Joan.

In the margin is written an additional question:

4) One great question is why is it so important to be able to be brave and to be able to bear whatever happens? Everything in reality depends on this. I see a lot of answers but I don’t feel I see all it implies.

The reply from Klein:

What does death represent to the individual?

The increasing danger of a terrifying death brings out in individuals both the deeper reasons of their fear of death as well as their methods of combating this fear. Instances A. patient of very religious upbringing in whom the fear of Hell had played a great part in childhood, a fear which had intellectually been entirely overcome is revived in the present situation. The internal hell which could not be overcome by love as demanded by religion because devil and helpful God were so very much the same in his unconscious mind. In this case and others it became clear that terror of own destructiveness and murderousness, fear of having arranged for Hitler to destroy the world, and especially the incapacity to dissociate the evil father and parents from the good ones, to dissociate love from hate, and therefore to turn hatred against the evil thing – love and protection towards the loved and good people – that all this has a paralysing effect in the relation to external dangers.

One conclusion a) An important step in development is the capacity to allow oneself to split the imagos into good and bad ones which goes with the capacity to trust one’s constructive tendencies and love feelings. Only thus is it possible to hate with full strength what is felt to be evil in the external world – to attack and destroy at the same time protecting oneself with one’s good internal objects as well as external loved objects, country etc, against the bad things. To be able to achieve this is also dependent on b) The relative strength of internalized relations versus external ones – or rather the balance between internal situations and relations on the one hand and externals on the other.

If the feeling that external war is really going on inside – if the feeling that an internal Hitler is fought inside by a Hitler-like subject – predominates, then despair results. It is impossible to fight this war, because in the internal situation catastrophe is bound to be the end of it. This depends also on the ways and means in which the subject is carrying out the internal war. If he feels to out-Hitler Hitler, then it will all end in complete destruction inside. If there is a better balance between internal happenings and external happenings and the war inside is not predominating, then one can turn with strength and determination against the external enemy. There are many other factors at work which all work towards greater trust in one’s own capacity to love and construct as well in the good object and determining the balance between internal and external.

I see fully confirmed former experiences that death is terrifying to the utmost, if trust in internal relationships is weak. The danger may then be denied (very important in the general attitude towards the Hitler danger – Chamberlain’s remark of war as a nightmare) or the individual becomes paralysed – which may amount to suicidal incapacity to deal with external dangers, and ultimately (paralysis of) the means of destroying the dangerous Hitler inside. I have seen in this present situation patients’ courage grow, depression diminish, and their capacity to make decisions etc increase when hatred and guilt connected with early phantasies had been further analysed. Present situation provides a very strong stimulus to revive the guilt and fears connected with these phantasies, and I have been struck with the effect analysis can have in such conditions. Pressure of anxiety helped to throw light on former material and was able to remove much anxiety and despair.

One very typical thing was the guilt about the attraction towards this, to the destructive and dangerous penis which Hitler’s murderous weapons represent. In men it appeared that quite hidden passive homosexual phantasies, plotting and scheming with the destructive father, came to the fore. a) They had instigated Hitler to this destructive intercourse and enjoyed it sadistically. b) Terror of being destroyed and identification with the threatened mother reinforced the tendencies to scheme and plot with the dangerous father. To this is added the anxiety of the internal destruction by this dangerous father who becomes more and more internal the more external reality proves his dangerousness. The guilt about the sadistic alliance with the dangerous father is one important reason for denial: but I see the most various methods used against it; for instance, very rational sounding views that we should continuously concentrate on the offensive expressed the drive towards active and dangerous homosexuality as a reaction against the desire and fear of being anally penetrated.

This feeling of a continuous thrust on the enemy to prevent him from invasion, in contradiction to that, that we should preserve through our thrust France’s destruction and rather allow him the invasion of England. (The mother was to be saved, England, representing more the patient himself, should be more allowed to be invaded). But here the jealous attitude of mother also found expression. There was also the wish to be anally penetrated by this impressive father as well as the desire to test in reality the dangerous threatening experience. With women too, the attraction towards the dangerous father, conspiracy against mother, guilt and punishment, were very much revived. Fifth column tendencies/phantasies and guilt. But it is interesting to find the connection between these sexual phantasies, the sadistic pleasure as experience in masturbation, and inner relations. Interaction between distrust and guilt relating to brothers, sisters and parents because of these sadistic conspiracies and relations to internal objects. In the (reduced) capacity to trust in the preservation of internal loved objects because of these sadistic phantasies in relation to external ones.

Striking how the analysis of these secret plotting sadistic phantasies improved internal relationships and relieved anxiety of danger of present situation. In one instance, much former material became so much clearer and illuminating that peace of mind steadily increased, in spite of the worsening of the external situation. Balance between love and hatred increased, parents become in retrospect much more trustworthy, worthwhile preserving, and accordingly also present relatives. Fear of death decreased when trust in me, in analysis, and more generally in the survival of goodness in spite of all dangers to values, increased. The feeling that goodness cannot ultimately be exterminated, which may be a denial of danger in external relations, was based on a better balance between facing danger and yet relying more on internal goodness and trust in some good object.

The question of balance so often stressed appears as the ultimate decisive factor. Optimum between external and internal, love and hate, and the methods used against anxiety. Certain amount of temporary denial obviously unavoidable and necessary. We look at nature, we read a book, we play with a child, we enjoy food, etc, and we have to remind ourselves that our life and country is at stake. In between the good experience has helped us to deny the danger. If the denial predominates in the attitude it may lead to complacency, flight to the good inner objects, etc. If the help provided by the fact that such good things we just enjoy exist, the belief in the good object and in goodness ultimately, is not too much denial of the bad things, it may help us to take steps to preserve goodness externally, and may internally help us to remain calm in the face of danger.

After giving some fragmentary examples, which are in note form and not fully coherent, Klein turns to ‘technique’:

TECHNIQUE

The satisfaction we must all derive from the fact that analysis can be so helpful in these circumstances. There is confirmation about the main principles of our work; even now reassurance does not seem to be of great value (certain exceptions and rather limited). But an undisturbed keeping or holding fast to analyse aggression, guilt, which disturbs the belief in constructive and reparative tendencies, seems most helpful. We must however remain aware of the interplay, present and external situations, with internal and with the past, as well as past experiences. The strength with which certain experiences are re experienced, the details of phantasies coming up under this pressure, indicates also the great wish of the patient to cooperate with the analyst, and thus also to help the parent to improve the relationship with him, and to establish internally and externally, harmony. This strength of experiencing and bringing forward material has also to do with the stimulus which the nearness of death provides in experiencing life. Instances for taking in much more strongly beauty of nature, love in relations, etc, even lessening of certain inhibitions as seen in several cases. It is filling oneself with life, as well as sharing love with external people, and thus reviving, restoring internal situations. Also proof for goodness remaining; because ultimately in the future there will be objects to experience this and thus death as utter destruction cannot be true.

References

Bower, Marion (2018). The Life and Work of Joan Riviere: Freud, Klein and Female Sexuality. London: Routledge.

Frank, Claudia (2003) Zu Melanie Kleins zeitgenössischer Bezugnahme auf Hitler und den Zweiten Weltkrieg in ihren Behandlungen. [On Melanie Klein’s contemporary references to Hitler and the second world war in her treatment] Psyche – Z Psychoanal., 57:708-728.  

Milton, Jane (in preparation) working title: From the Klein Archive; Essential Readings. London: Routledge. To be published in 2019/20.

Shapira, Michal (2013) The War Inside: Psychoanalysis, Total War, and the Making of the Democratic Self in Postwar Britain. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

[softspideys]

Time After Time (Part IV) (Peter Parker x reader)

summary: peter parker is your worst enemy, but he’s also your soulmate. life is funny that way.

warnings: none

words: 1.9k

pairings: peter parker x reader

a/n: just because people keep asking me this and I don’t feel like answering it anymore....this will have MULTIPLE chapters!!! at least like 10!!!! probs more!!!! thank you for listening

The school year seemed to drag on like that: you and Peter actively avoiding each other, the universe and your friends determined to prevent it.

You’d always assumed that once you met your soulmate, you’d be the happiest person in the world. But if anything, your mood had worsened. You knew now that it was one thing to find your soulmate, but getting along with them was a completely different thing entirely.

Your chemistry teacher had long since given up trying to partner you and Peter together during experiments. It happened only once, and had ended with you pushing Peter off of his stool because he insisted on looking over your shoulder as you did the work to make sure you “didn’t mess anything up.” Since then, you stuck to your side of the room and he stuck to his.

In class, your teacher had just finished showing a documentary about drones and their use in chemical warfare. It was extremely boring, but after watching Bill Nye for the past three weeks, your teacher decided it was time to show something a little more serious.

“So,” he said enthusiastically, turning the lights back on. “What’d we think? Did we like it? Dislike it? C’mon people, let me hear your thoughts!”

“It was okay,” someone muttered, and the class murmured in agreement.

Your teacher rolled his eyes. “Really, guys? No one has any other thoughts?” No one answered. “Are we pro-drone? Anti-drone? If you were one or the other, did the doc make you switch your view? Why or why not? I’m desperate here.”

It really was getting to be quite painful, so with a sigh, you raised your hand. “Yes! Y/N!”

“I’m pro-drone,” you said, uncomfortably aware of everyone’s eyes on you.

“Alright,” your teacher said. “Why?”

You shifted in your seat. You’d been hoping he’d just take your answer and run with it himself, but no such luck. “Well . . .” you said. “They’re low cost. They’re way cheaper to purchase and fuel than regular airplanes. And they save lives, you know, so no military personnel have to be put in harm’s way or combat or whatever. The drones just do it for them.”

“I see,” your teacher nodded. “Does anyone else have anything to add? Anyone have a counterpoint?”

For a second no one answered and you thought you were done. But then, from across the room, Peter raised his hand. “I have a counterpoint.”

“Okay,” your teacher said slowly. Everyone knew by now that you and Peter together was a dangerous thing. “Go ahead.”

“Drones aren’t ethical,” Peter said. “It makes combat warfare too easy by diminishing ethical decisions. Some drone pilots or operators have difficulty switching between combat mode at work and civilian mode while not working. It can create PTSD.”

“So does actually being in the middle of combat,” you said, annoyed already. “Some drones don’t even need human pilots.”

“Drones can’t communicate with civilians for more detailed intelligence. Drones can’t capture surrendering military personnel, abandoned hardware, or military bases,” Peter spoke over you.

“They’re more lethal than regular airplanes and way more accurate,” you snapped.

“Accurate? Drone warfare causes collateral damages in civilian lives and property.”

“So you’d rather risk our own soldiers’ lives instead of civilian lives?” you said loudly.

“Civilians view drones as an invasion force. The mere presence of drones has been known to convert civilians into military combats. And when they cause collateral damage, like killing innocent people and damaging their property, the opinions of civilians decrease even more,” Peter said, his voice rising.

“Who cares what they think?”

“So you’d rather innocent people die for no reason?” Peter shot back. “What if the roles were reversed? What if a drone flew into the US, blew up an army base, and killed a bunch of innocent people? But oh no, they got their target, so who cares right?”

“That’s not what I said!”

“It’s what you meant!”

“Drones save lives. Our own lives! That’s what’s most important!”

“Everyone’s lives are worth saving!”

“News flash! You can’t save everyone!”

“You can try!”

“Parker! Y/L/N! That’s enough!” Your teacher practically had to yell to be heard over you.

You fell back into your seat, which you didn’t even realize you were halfway out of. “Both of you, go take a walk,” your teacher ordered. “Opposite directions, please. Come back when you’re ready to have a debate that doesn’t involve screaming at each other.”

Peter was out of his seat and out the door instantly. You reluctantly followed, and as you left you heard someone mutter, “Aren’t they supposed to be soulmates?”

You caught up to Peter and hit him on the shoulder hard. “Ow!” He turned and glared at you. “He said opposite directions.”

“Why do you always have to find some way to argue with me?” you demanded.

“It was a debate, chill out.”

“I’m not even talking about just the debate!” you practically shouted. “You always have to find some way to be better than me or correct me or prove me wrong!”

“Not my fault you’re usually wrong anyway,” he said coldly.

You clenched your fists so hard you could feel your nails digging into your skin. “Just once,” you said through your teeth. “I would like you to just leave me be.”

He shrugged. “Can’t help it if the universe keeps throwing me at you,” he said, though his tone had no humor in it.

“You’re the worst, Parker.”

“Are you sure about that? There’s 7.6 billion people on this planet and I’m the worst?”

“Forget it.” You turned on your heel and stalked down the hallway. As you turned the corner, you could’ve sworn you heard him laugh.

You took a short walk around the building, taking some deep breaths, and when you came back to class you saw Peter several feet away. You rushed to get there first. You slammed the door in his face, smirking at his annoyed expression.

“Welcome back,” your teacher said when Peter finally entered. “Take your seats, please.” You and Peter obeyed. You had a feeling that the real lecture would be coming after class.

Sure enough, when the bell rang, your teacher said, “Peter, Y/N, come see me, please.” 

The two of you reluctantly approached his desk. He looked at you with raised eyebrows. “What happened today wasn’t cool, guys,” he said. “I know not everyone gets along with their soulmates right away, but yelling at each other like that? Unacceptable.”

“Sorry, sir,” you both muttered.

He sighed. “I’m not claiming to know about the deep inner workings of your relationship, but I do wish you’d try to get along. You being paired together . . . it’s a pretty lucky thing.”

You blinked at him, confused. Peter must’ve looked the same way, because your teacher laughed. “If the two of you worked together on whatever you put your minds to . . . you’d be unstoppable. You’d rule the world. Think about it.”

Peter made a beeline to his locker as soon as you were dismissed and so did you, but you couldn’t help it: you did think about it.

* * *

“I don’t really think it’s hatred,” your best friend decided as the two of you walked out of school.

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“Sexual tension.”

It took everything in you not to burst out laughing. “Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“I see,” you said. “Well, thanks for that input. Now can we talk about literally anything else besides Peter Parker?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. What’d you get on that Calc test?”

“95.”

“What? How?”

“It’s called studying,” you said, amused.

“Nah,” she shook her head, “Mrs. Wyatt has it in for me. She’s never liked me.”

“Probably because you don’t study.”

She gave you the finger. “Well, here’s what I think about you and your 95.”

You laughed as you came to her subway stop. “This is me,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, bye.” You waved as you walked away. You put your headphones in your ears and turned on some music, letting out a sigh and tilting your head back to feel the sun on your face. You liked school, but nothing compared to the feeling of finally being done for the day.

You walked alone for a little while, enjoying the solitude and thinking about nothing in particular. Suddenly, a voice behind you called, “Hey.”

You ignored it, assuming it wasn’t directed towards you. But then someone came up and yanked one of your headphones out of your ears.

“Hey!” you said, turning in time to see Peter fall into step beside you. “What is the matter with you? What do you want?”

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To my subway stop. What do you want?” you repeated.

“Fine, let me walk you.”

This time you did laugh out loud. “Are you kidding? I’d literally rather get hit by a bus. I thought I told you to stay away from me.”

“Technically, you said you’d just like me to leave you be,” Peter corrected you.

“Oh my God. Can’t you just leave me alone?” You tried to quicken your pace, but Peter caught up to you easily.

“Believe me, I’d love to,” he said. “But . . . don’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“What it’s like when we’re together, versus when we’re not.” He gave you an annoyed look, like don’t make me say it.

Part of you wanted to say you had no idea what he was talking about. But it would be a lie. You knew exactly what he meant.

When Peter was around you, it was like the weight of the sky was being lifted off of your shoulders. You couldn’t explain it, but being near him felt like being home. You knew you were safe, that this was your person.

Of course, you hated every second of it, but you knew it.

“Yes,” you said finally. “I feel it.”

“Okay,” Peter said, his voice quiet. “So just . . . let me walk you. Okay?”

“Fine,” you said.

The two of you silently began to walk together. You noticed he had one of his headphones in, the other dangling loosely around his neck. “What are you listening to?” you asked, grudgingly attempting to make conversation.

“The Strokes.”

“Hmm.”

“You like them?” he said, side-eyeing you.

You nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

“Hmm,” was all Peter said. You didn’t speak as you walked to your subway stop, or as you made your way downstairs and onto the platform.

Finally, you turned to him. “Are you gonna get on the train with me or something?”

“This is where I get on too,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh.”

Your train pulled up first, so as the doors opened, you faced him awkwardly. “Well . . . see you.”

He nodded, not meeting your eyes. “Yeah, see you.”

You got on the train and watched him through the window as it pulled away. Now that you weren’t with him, the safe feeling had gone away. But that was all purely chemical, you told yourself. Nothing had changed. You still hated Peter Parker.

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[scripttorture]

Is there a type of torture that includes amputation? Specifically for the purpose of making the victim compliant w the torturer's beliefs/ actions? Also, what types of tortures work best w vulnerable children who have already witnessed emotional/physical trauma for previously mentioned reasons? (btw the torturers are a religion-based cult group) Thank you so much, have a wonderful day/night :)

Torture does not make the victim 'compliant' in any sense.

 It may render a victimunable to physically resist but to me those are different things. 'Compliance'to me implies cooperation, it implies that the victim 'agrees' to go along withwhat the torturer wants. The evidence we have suggests this is incredibly rare.

There was a time in France when it was legal to use torture to forceconfessions in certain cases. Because of this we now have a valuable set ofstatistical data about how 'good' torture is at forcing people to confess. 

The French average was around 10%.

Under torture up to 90% of people willnot comply with their torturer long enough to sign their own name. 

Anecdotal accounts bear this out too. Victims commonly report extremeantagonism to their torturers. They report anger, hatred, aggression andgenerally seem to be much more strongly opposed to their torturer and anyideals or groups the torturer may stand for than they were before torture.

Torture does the opposite of making people 'compliant'. It makes people angry,stubborn, rebellious and generally much more inclined to resist in any way theycan.I think you really need to rethink the way you're intending to use torture inyour story. Because if an essential part of it is that torture makes victims'compliant' then that's not only inaccurate but that's a trope that's used to justify torture. Specifically it's used tojustify torture in prisons, schools and 'rough neighbourhoods'. 

Torture does not work.

It's possible that I'm not interpreting the ask correctly, more detail of thestory, what you intend to do with the characters, the setting, time andcountry, would have helped.

 Torture does not work.

 There is no way toforce anyone to abandon or go against their strongly held beliefs.

 There is no way toreliably force agreement or compliance from another human being.

 What you are planning to write is an unrealistic justificationfor torture.

 In cases like this Ieither refuse to give any further help or suggest drastic rewrites changing theentire premise and structure of the story. This blog was set up largely tocombat and prevent fictional justifications of torture.

 In the scenario you'veoutlined I think the easiest way to change it would be to remove torture in thecult context entirely.

 You are talking aboutvulnerable children. The easiest way to get child to 'comply' is to give them apositive support structure, praise and security. In essence the way adults getchildren to obey them is by showing the child love.

 Take torture out of thestory. The only thing you do by including torture is turn your story into anunrealistic justification for very real atrocities.

 Make your villainskind. Show them taking in these poor children and caring for them. Make themthe perfect, loving, affectionate parental figures these children need.

 And then whenthe cult wants the children to do something awful show them struggling. Showhow much they want to make their adoptive parents happy.

 Show the childrentrying to justify their parents crimes to themselves, telling themselves thatthe victims must have been bad people, they must have 'deserved' it, there musthave been a reason- Show the children bending over backwards to avoid thinkingtheir parents could be wrong.

 It's not brainwashing.It's not 'conditioning'. There is no cruelty and no trick.

 We are all capable ofdoing or supporting awful things in the name of the people we love.

 If you want control, ifyou want to write kids witnessing and doing awful things then you need thevillains to be kind to those children. You need them to praise and support andlove those children.

That will make taking them from the cult extremely hard. The chances are theywon't want to leave. They will probably totally and honestly believe that theironly chance of love, self worth and security is with the cult and the awfulpeople who are part of it. They may have been taught that people outside thecult do worse things to each other. 

That's the best I can suggest. 

For information on how real people respond to torture and how it cementsantagonism I'd suggest taking a look at my post on FelaKuti. The founder of Afro-beat music was tortured by security forces fordecades and his death was almost certainly caused by complications due toprolonged, repeated torture.

 When security forces murdered his mother Fela responded byleading her funeral procession past one of the biggest barracks in the countryand leaving her coffin on the steps. He wrote two songs about that particular attack.

 Please take a momentand listen to Unknown Soldier, to Zombie, to Coffin for a Head of State. These pieces of music were eachdesigned as an attack on torturers by a victim of torture.

 This music causedriots.

 Does that sound likecompliance?

I’m sorry if this is coming across as harsh but I wouldn’t be running this blog if I did not care very deeply about survivors of torture. They are not weak. They are not broken. They are not at fault for what they suffered. 

And the more I read the more it seems that the Fela Kuti’s of this world are not the exception. They are the norm. 

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