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softersinned · 2 years ago

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@xfindingtrouble said: ♫ for percy

"time in a bottle" by rob lane, julia church, and jim croce

If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true The box would be empty, except for the memory Of how they were answered by you So if only I could save time in a bottle the first thing that I'd like to do Is to save every day till eternity passes away Just to spend them with you

i love this cover - it's so dreamy, and i think it's perfect for them. (the original is beautiful, too; i just like the echoing dreaminess of this one.) it's actually used for a wedding night in the discovery of witches show, and i think it's pretty perfectly selected as a wedding song, especially when one person in the equation is immortal and the other is not. astoria is perpetually aware of the passage of time, and torn between appreciating every moment she has with him and living deliciously with him, and trying to find a way to guarantee that she won't have too many days without him.

even though she has no regrets (how could she? they make her deliriously happy!) she finds that a lot of the love she feels for them is tinged with some premature sorrow: she knows that no matter how much she loves them now, and no matter how happy they are during the days they have together, those days are limited, and she will live with his memory longer than she lived with him. how is she supposed to be her, still, when the day comes that she's forgotten the exact shade of green of his eyes? or when she can't remember the exact tone of their voice?

"vampire smile" by kyla la grange

Baby, I need to leave, 'cause I'm getting drunk on your noble deeds It doesn't matter that they don't get done When I feel this cold, they're like the fucking sun Baby, I need a friend, but I'm a vampire smile, you'll meet a sticky end I'm here trying not to bite your neck, But it's beautiful and I'm gonna get so drunk on you and kill your friends

the physical hunger & craving she feels for him really can't be understated. she wants so badly to hunt him in those early days, because she can't really conceive of anything more intimate, more permanent, than that. the actual, physical need she feels to bite and drain him is a constant one, and when she smells anyone else on him, it makes her ill. he is the sun around which she orbits, warming her despite the reality of her undeath, and she's fighting her nature every step of the way because she wants him alive more than she wants him hers.

but she'd be a liar if she pretended that the urge wasn't there. she fantasizes sometimes about how their blood would taste. and when she does finally bite them, it takes every bit of self control she's ever had not to drain them dry, because she simply cannot get enough of them. how could she? and she feels guilt for that - for wanting to hunt him, for feeling shame in her own very natural desires as a vampire. some part of her thinks that he deserves better, and so she tries to become better in her own halting, stilted way. it never really takes. the effort is always uneven and, at its core, selfish. she still tries, for them. and after drinking his blood, she thinks about it all the fucking time. edward cullen's got nothing on her.

"foreigner's god" by hozier

Her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me Still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man's beliefs... I've no language left to say it but all I do is quake to her Breaking if I try to convey it: the broken love I make to her All that I've been taught and every word I've got is foreign to me... Screaming the name of a foreigner's god The purest expression of grief

astoria's complicated relationship with god, divinity, religion in general is pretty well-documented on here; she's wounded, she's angry, she's grieving. she's sworn off faith as a whole, and she believes in the gods, she simply has no respect for them. holy ground rejects her; holy magic harms her; she has been built, changed, to be so deeply unholy that any god's touch is pain. and yet when percy dies she carries him past the threshold of a temple, and she walks across holy ground despite the pain she feels with every step to be the one to lay him at the altar, and when she gets outside, she prays. she prays to the dawnfather, because it's his guidance that built whitestone, and by extension, made percy. she prays to the everlight, because it's sarenrae who will bring him back.

and those last lines i quoted are really the ultimate expression, in this case, of love: her willingness to turn to any god for help, but to the two gods who, specifically, pose the greatest threat to her, compounding holiness with the sun. it's just that as far as she's concerned, there's no step too far that she could take for them. if prayer will do it, then she'll pray until their body's fully decayed. she'll pray to anyone. shit, if there were even the slightest chance that her own absent matron would help her, she'd beg her. astoria thinks herself inherently broken, too broken to ever touch holiness again, but for percy, she tries.

"when creation was young" by joy williams

When creation was young, before rivers learned to run Before Hell caught fire and God made the sun When creation was young... Before you, you took a breath, before sin ever confessed Before hate was a word and life found death Before you, you took a breath, oh, I was loving you

do you ever get emotional thinking abt the passage of time as it relates to these two bc i do constantly??? astoria spent a hundred and twelve years without percy. he didn't exist. he wasn't a thought to her. and still, after she meets him, it feels an awful lot like this was inevitable: like everything else in her life was just building to this. everyone before them was practice, so she'd know how to love, really love, when the time came. shitty way to think about past lovers? for sure. but she's also not changing a damn thing.

long before percy even existed, before they could have ever known her or known of her, she knew something was missing - and despite how many days she had without them, despite the days to come when they're gone and she's grieving, she wouldn't change a thing. she wouldn't wish a moment spent differently. in her mind, feeling how she felt so much more right after meeting them, and recognizing how she felt about them, she's loved him from the start, from long before he existed, and she'll love him long after.

"labyrinth" by taylor swift

'It only hurts this much right now' was what I was thinking the whole time Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out I'll be getting over you my whole life... Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love

i'm not sure what exactly it is that has her fairly certain that there's no wonder left to be found in the world - she's going through a vampire adolescence & young adulthood and she's bored, and angry, and exhausted. she's realizing now that she's going to be doing this for the rest of her life, and her life will be very, very long. it's one thing to achieve immortality when you have someone or something to dedicate it to, and another thing entirely to realize that there's no other choice but to survive, even if you're running out of reasons.

and she's lost people she loved, watched everyone she knew die, and here's percy. short-lived, comparatively speaking, probably shorter-lived given their line of work and some of the decisions they make. the smart thing to do is walk away from this before she gets more tangled up in it. the smart thing to do is accept a long life that's fine, over a long life that shines very brightly for a short period and then fades into grief when that light fades. but the thing is that she does not make smart decisions. so, as scary as it is, she gives herself permission to see this through.

#(i do not have honorable mentions for them yet but i will soon)#ii. sweet music playing in the dark. ( playlist )#i. here's the truth from my red lips. ( answers )#xfindingtrouble #iii. when i feel this cold you're like the fucking sun. ( percy x astoria )

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blamemma · 2 years ago

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please i would love to hear some of your book recs!!

a very random ask but a very sweet one i love talking about books!! i'll put a couple under the cut for you and hopefully one will suit what you might be looking for!!

bewilderment by richard powers - my standout read of 2022 the one i do not stop thinking about. we follow a single father who has a neuro-divergent son who is incredibly passionate about the climate crisis and what that will mean for animals and their eco-systems. medical ethics are blurred through out and you essentially just follow a father who is trying to do the best for his son but sometimes it just doesn't work out. 4 books in my life have made me sob, this being one of them!

stoner by john williams - a modern classic. understated and quiet. simply, it's a story of life. there's nothing remarkable in it. the protagonist comes from a small farm and dreams of being an english professor and succeeds at it and it just follows the trials and tribulations of his life. sounds boring, but its one of the novels that excels in the mundane

drive your plow over the bones of the dead by olga tokarczuk - female rage!!!! female revenge!!!!! fucking with men!!!!! set in a spooky snowy cabin!!! god it has it all but in this weird creepy way. an old woman's dogs die along with some hunters and there's a murder investigation that opens up but the woman doesn't think the police are doing enough and takes matters into her own hands and from there suspense grows and grows and weirder things start happening

the death of vivek oji by akwaeke emezi - deals with gender dysphoria, friendships, love and heartbreak, family and what that truly means, has vivd descriptions of nigeria and delicious food, another book that made me sob...from the title, you know it's not going to be a happy one, but throughout there are so many happy moments that it makes the ending even more of a gut punch

for some great scottish literature, i can't recommend mayflies by andrew o'hagan enough (and if u don't fancy reading it, it was just made into a 2-part tv show which was done astonishingly well) and Shuggie Bain by douglas stuart (won the man booker for a reason!!)

non-fiction wise, you genuinely cannot go wrong with anything by patrick radden-keefe. say nothing explores ireland's troubles through the lens of a mother going missing and empire of pain is a deep dive into the sackler family and the opioid crisis!! i would read his shopping lists he's that good. if you want something more nature based entangled life by merlin sheldrake is phenomenal or something health based, unwell women by elinor cleghorn explores how women are disadvantaged in today's modern health system and how that came to be

honorable mentions go to piranesi, my year of rest and relaxation, 1q84, a prayer for owen meany & a little life (but please do ur research before reading this its phenomenally good but goddd its also traumatic!)

send me some of ur book recs i looooove comparing book notes and seeing what other people enjoy xx

#i like how reading is cool again now #one good thing about the pandemic #book recs

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avelera · 2 years ago

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See, I really appreciate the dip into the comics here because I don't know them as well as I know the 30 minutes of him in the show (lol, naturally, one's a bit easier to grasp in depth) BUT it's absolutely true that Hob has many mortal relationships over the years and there are mentions of him marrying more than once (I tend to leave it out of fic because I enjoy the Grand Romance of him only allowing one formal marriage but still having life partners after that, but that's just me and fic writing).

BUT ANYWAY, yes! He keeps falling in love! He doesn't get bitter of it, either! He weeps like anyone would, or any man in his 30s-ish would. Then like most humans do in the real world even after losing someone they loved for a lifetime, he falls in love again!

But what I really wanted to speak to in your addition was how he doesn't become "special" and how he never disconnects.

First, that he never disconnects. That's so, so counter to type in the immortal genre! Like, it was so inconceivable to Gaiman's peer Alan Moore that someone with immortality could fail to detach from humanity entirely that he created Doctor Manhattan in Watchmen. We can never know for sure because it's never happened, but in theory an actual immortal human would have nothing in common with us after a few centuries. Over and over in the fictional immortal genre, they detach inevitably after a lifetime or two. All of Anne Rice's vampires struggle deeply, every day, with trying to recall their lost humanity and being largely unable to. And once they fully detach, most of them destroy themselves.

I cannot understate how big a deal it is that Hob always has a job. I would even argue, on a Watsonian in-universe level that having a job is how Hob stops himself from going mad. It's really hard to get swallowed by the event horizon of immortality and eternity when you have a job to do ever day, when you have colleagues depending on you, when you have to get up and get dressed and see the calendar every day. Other immortals are all, "Oh, what year is it? Time flies, I forgot the century," etc etc. Hob doesn't. Hob seems, in my mind, deeply grounded in little, silly things like "What day is it?" Because he stays involved in day to day things like making a living and he appears to do it in every lifetime we see of him. Or at least, money is always a concern for him, even if we don't always know his current profession. That also keeps him grounded in the fashion of the time and the language and the slang and the daily news and concerns. Working alongside other humans, loving other humans, seems like it would an incredible antidote to the "detached immortal" schtick. And it means not skipping the hard parts like getting up in the morning to go to work or dealing with the heartbreak of losing people. Yes, those things suck, but when you avoid those things you tilt off into greater pain and detachment because now you can't connect to anything or anyone at all. The bad parts are part of enjoying the good parts. The bad parts keep you grounded enough to enjoy the good parts.

And finally, I adore your point about how we, the audience, think we'd be special as immortals. How Hob kind of puts lie to that particular wish fulfillment fantasy. Maybe we'd figure out how to become detached mega wealthy aristocrats after a century, but maybe not! Maybe we'd just bumble along! Maybe we'd keep fucking up and making mistakes, even when we should know better! Maybe Hob even tried to do all that and realized he was tilting off the planet into detached immortal angst and insanity the minute he stopped needing to go to work in the morning or being in love with people he'd have to say goodbye to and he stopped! Maybe he never even tried because it never occurred to him because he's Just A Dude! Either way, what a fabulous take on immortality, simply by going so aggressively against the genre expectations.

Hob Gadling - the absolute maddest of immortal lads

One of the things I love most about Hob Gadling as a character (and as a result, do my best to capture in fic) is how unique his reactions are to immortality and to Dream, and how he so often does the opposite of what one would expect from the genre of "humans granted immortality" but also what the average person and most of the audience expects that they would do with immortality, lending well to the concept that Hob is, genuinely, unhinged and a truly supernatural creature in his own right, which is often lost when the character we see him most often juxtaposed against is Dream, who is even more odd and unhinged if in very different ways

(I've decided to be systematic about this and go through meeting by meeting so strap in, folks it got long, as usual!)

1389 - First of all, Hob simply bragging at all that he doesn't plan to die. OG hipster right there, loving life before it was cool. But also, ok, loving life after being born less than a decade after the Black Plague ended. And in the midst of a great many Black Plague aftershocks! The latter half of the 1300s was a truly abysmal time to be alive, with huge social upheaval, war, plagues, "two bloody Popes fightin'" and in the midst of all this is Hob motherfuckin' Gadling, cheerfully announcing that death is for suckers and he doesn't intend to ever do it.

The man is a soldier! You'd think he'd be more accepting and philosophical about his inevitable death given the time he lives in, the profession he has chosen, the fact that most young men his age were wiped out at age 9 by the second wave of the Black Death, and just, in general, doing all of this while having the misfortune to live in England at the time.

And then when Dream comes up to him, like a complete weirdo, and challenges him on this, Hob is actually pretty nice to him! He gives him a side eye but he also goes along with the question, tells him to ignore his friend's jibes, and cheerfully accepts the wager! I cannot express to you how many turns in the road there are between what a normal person would do and what Hob Gadling does in that moment.

1489 - This one bugs me because the most unexpected thing Hob does is seemingly regress in maturity despite now being 100+ years old.

Now, I'm a huge fan of the theory that he's conning Dream right now and putting on the innocent chucklehead routine to put Dream off from kidnapping him to Faerie Land in exchange for his immortality. HOWEVER, since that's just a headcanon, let's take Hob as he is on the page!

Hob has a job. A Freaking Job. He used to be a bandit and a soldier, things that kind of make sense to do as an immortal (like The Old Guard) when you can't die! You could theoretically make BANK there just by taking dangerous jobs. But Hob doesn't?? He gets a normal-ass job, though in that day's equivalent of getting a job at Microsoft or Apple before they became big, Caxton is like one of the first modern startups in essence, a new technology that made TONS of money once it was imported, and Hob was on the ground floor. Still. HE GOT A JOB as an IMMORTAL. He doesn't seem to have this immortality thing figured out yet? And he doesn't ask Dream hardly any questions about it either! You'd think he'd be frothing at the mouth to better understand wtf happened to him, but once Dream clarifies that he's not the Devil and Hob's soul isn't in danger, that's it! No further questions, your honor! WHAT??

Also, just when you WOULD expect him to beg for death (that IS the genre savvy thing to do, Dream's not wrong!) he DOESN'T. He's more in awe than ever, he seems to be experiencing a second childhood over the fact. He's just vibing and living life. That's so, so unusual in this genre.

Hob also hasn't done any of the savvy things an immortal might do after 100 years! He doesn't actually seem all that angsty about why is he immortal, beyond a bit of fear he might need to pay the piper (Dream) now for this gift. Most vampires in an Anne Rice novel would have gone through about 20 stages of grief after they dealt with the first 100 years of everyone they know and love dying but Hob seems to not only be unbothered but actively gearing up for the next century. It's so bizarre. IT'S SO BIZARRE and I love it because I LOVE characters who DON'T do what you'd expect!

1589 - Hob has a family. HOB HAS A FAMILY. Who in their right MIND would start a family, knowing you'd have to bury your spouse and your children? HOB MOTHERFUCKING GADLING that's who! It's incomprehensible! He does it anyway! It's why I headcanon that he planned to support and nurture his family throughout time, like it was all very deliberate to found a dynasty, but it need not be! Knowing him, he just saw a pretty girl and married her! He didn't even CONSIDER his own wife and children getting angry and jealous with him for having immortality he can't share with them? He didn't even CONSIDER the heartbreak?? WHAT?! Who knows! He just did!

Now, this Hob HAS begun to do SOME of the things one would expect of an immortal - like build up generational wealth, BUT he has a KNIGHTHOOD. What immortal in their right MIND would draw that sort of attention to themselves?? HOB, THAT'S WHO. What are you ON, man, that's INSANE! No wonder he got drowned as a witch the man had ZERO CAUTION AT ALL.

1689 - the man is destitute. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN IF YOU'RE AN IMMORTAL? This is AS puzzling as anything else. Theoretically, Hob could just take a dangerous job with a high fatality rate for quick cash and rebuild his fortune pretty quickly, but he DOESN'T. What went wrong? The possibilities are tantalizing and painfully human that maybe he did do that and failed anyway, or hit even WORSE strings of truly abysmal bad luck.

But somehow, at 300 YEARS OLD it's not until 1789 that we hear Hob has begun socking money away for a rainy day! How does it TAKE YOU that long, sir?? How is that NOT something you figure out in your first century? I've seen a lot of fan writers ascribe a certain amount of immortal savvy to Hob but it's REALLY not there on the page! The guy is NOT genre savvy about immortality AT ALL he doesn't do ANY of the things one would expect, it's absolutely WILD that he falls this low after 300 years after completely failing to, theoretically, CONSIDER this possibility! And then, AND THEN, the guy STILL wants to live. I mean, this one hardly needs saying, that's nuts after what he went through, it's on the page that he's NUTS for this. But the guy is literally in the gutter dreaming of the stars, he is unstoppable I love him so fucking much what a force of nature.

1789 - OK, we've already mentioned that it took until 1789 for Hob to start saving money for a rainy day but let's talk about the fact HE'S NOT ACTUALLY CAREFUL ABOUT BEING CAPTURED?? Again, least genre savvy immortal EVER. You can't die so you'd THINK that being captured or imprisoned or god forbid, thrown down a mine shaft would be the SCARIEST possible fates when you don't have death as an escape, but the guy doesn't even blink at the thought of getting captured by an occultist like Johanna Constantine, dude's totally unbothered! DREAM has to tell him after 400 YEARS that maybe he should be worried about this? THE GUY GOT DROWNED AS A WITCH, picked himself up, dusted himself off, got into some crimes against humanity, and MOVED ON apparently without learning a single goddamn lesson he hasn't had since 1389 which is how to kick ass and look good doing it BUT HE'S NOT EVEN A PROFESSIONAL FIGHTER AS A CAREER, he's just a gentleman of means!

He just... lives a normal human life and seems to expect weird things like being kidnapped by occultists to not happen so long as he stays within those boundaries and you know what? IT SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED! Because to be fair, how many of us outside the bounds of fiction would ever expect the wild stuff like kidnapping to really happen? It's statistically quite vanishingly rare! And that's been all Hob has needed, presumably, to not need to stress since the damn witch trials about his immortality! So yeah, I read fic where Hob is like this very savvy immortal but by 400 YEARS he's BARELY learned to have a savings account under a different name and he STILL doesn't seem too bothered by the possibility of getting hurt or captured! Like, AT ALL?! Absolutely class act right here, top lad, unbelievable, no notes. HOW do you SURVIVE like this as an anomaly, Hob?

1889 - By now, it SEEMS like Hob has bought a clue. He's pretty understated, he's made some amends, SEEMS to have resolved to be less of a shithead, and he's got this immortality thing figured out. It only took him 500 FUCKING YEARS. But again, Hob ISN'T fabulously wealthy as far as we can tell. He's not a megalomaniac and he STILL seems to be vibin' as just a dude doing Just A Dude things like HAVING A JOB and if we borrow from Hob's Leviathan a bit, he's STILL just jumping between industries, just living life down at the normal human level. He hasn't detached from humanity, he lives in the day to day on a level that's just INCONCEIVABLE for a being that's 500 years old.

1989 - Ok, moving on a bit from Hob being an immortal, because getting excited about technology like his brick phone is absolutely so charming I want to squish his cheeks, but he's hardly the only immortal to get excited about that. What I want to talk about is how HOB FORGIVES DREAM for 1889. Because, look, Dream is a prick there. Hob could have been more diplomatic but Dream could have waited for the apology and he didn't.

I have seen SO MANY TAKES where Hob would be MAD after 1889 and RIGHTFULLY SO. But he's NOT. He's not! There are so many fics where he has lingering hurt over it but that's just NOT what the character does! He blames himself! Guy did pretty much nothing wrong except maybe choose his words poorly, but he's blaming HIMSELF for making Dream uncomfortable. Absolute legend. Saints have nothing on this man, that is saint-like behavior. I'd be furious. Hob just misses his friend and BLAMES HIMSELF that Dream isn't there. Not an a single, microscopic trace of anger in sight.

2022 - And then, AND THEN, when he has EVERY REASON to flip out when Dream shows up, finally, after 133 YEARS, after Hob has APPARENTLY stuck around the area just in case, WAITING for him, what does this fucking legend say? "You're late."

THAT'S IT! He's not mad, he totally has a right to be! He doesn't jump out of his chair in shock, that would be a totally expected reaction to! He glances up! He acts like Dream is 5 minutes late instead of over a century WHAT IS THAT?? WHAT IS THAT?! HOW?!! They just settle back with a pint after that like it's nothing. That's not what I would do. I don't think that's what almost any human would do after a shock like that. I still can't wrap my head around it.

So anyway, Hob Gadling, absolutely FASCINATING character from the perspective of just not doing a single fucking thing you'd expect an immortal Just A Dude to do. Goddamn legend right there. Worth remembering for those like me who are obsessed enough to write this guy in fic. He is just so... opposite of everything you'd expect and that is so fucking sexy of him wow

#long post #i apologize if it doesn't shorten automatically hrgghh #hob gadling #the sandman #sandman meta

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 2 years ago

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tuesday again 12/6/22

tuesday again no problem will be taking a break next week, and will return on 12/20/22

listening

rich people by carsie blanton. this is an understated, acoustic little thing with piano and upright bass that builds up with some snaps and some...not quite call and response but something similar. it is direct and to the point, very much in the vein of labor songs and union songs.

youtube

i, very hard of hearing, transcribed this by HAND off spotify before i found this video bc i liked the lyrics so much. you're welcome.

Who run the world? It ain't the Jews Rich people don't pay no dues Who did the crime? It ain't the blacks Rich people don't pay no taxes Who took your job? It ain't immigration Rich people with corporations Who threw the vote? It ain't rednecks Rich people with thick fat checks

this interview is from two years ago (and reading about how seriously everyone took covid two years ago is...disheartening, now in the winter of 2022) but is a good answer to a really vague question about how she puts a song together (also explains why it pings so many of the union/labor song associations in my head):

I would say what I’m aware of in songwriting is that if you’re trying to fit a message into a song, it had better be a really catchy, exciting, fun song, because otherwise the message will not be heard. So I think I’m a songwriter first, and most of the songwriting I admire is what I would call American popular songs. So most of my favorite songwriters will just try to write a hit. That’s true in the ‘30s and ‘40s and in the Motown era. So that’s the writing I really admire. And I think in trying to get political messages into songs, I try to make the hook the thing that drives everything else. So it has to have the right energy, it has to have a catchy melody, or nobody cares to listen to the message.

ty to spotify weekly recs??? the least expected source

reading

Batman: Noël is a 2011 graphic novel written and illustrated by Lee Bermejo. dipping a toe back into reading with some batman comics. i love batman oneoffs bc there are eleven billion of them and i don't have to have read several thousand other comics to understand them. this one's schtick is: what if batman is scrooge? it's not very successful in the storytelling aspect of this, bc by DC editorial mandate batman and gotham cannot change or grow.

however! it is beautifully rendered. this spread was quite lovely imo, very funny to think sixties tv show batman and edgy grimdark 2010s batman are the same guy

this was chosen at whim from the selection available to me on my library's comics app hoopla. i have spent worse half hours

watching

white christmas (1954, dir. Curtiz) while choosing and addressing holiday cards. in like 2016 i decided doing this the first weekend in december would be my new tradition and i have done it like three times since then. so it goes.

has this movie aged well? no. did i watch it many times every winter while growing up bc i was brunette and my sister was blond? yes. these women simply do not look related but that's neither here nor there

playing

quick question, pokemon company

who ARE these women. why are they in little caped costumes. i found the little group of three all together but beating them up didn't give me anything except more questions. what is their DEAL

making

pasta failure. i have two boxes of mostaccioli (penne with no grooves) from really early in the pandemic when instacart gave me that instead of normal begrooved penne. in the interest of eating my pantry down before i move, i made sausage and peppers with onions, threw the leftovers in some diced tomatoes, and threw all that on top of this pasta.

this did not work bc this pasta has no grooves and cannot hold the tomatoes. the peppers and onions, which are cut in strips (as sausage and peppers with onions is typically made) are a little more successful but this shit sucks man. and i still have another whole box. other than ziti (and even that's questionable, bc the sauce issue remains, also i hate ziti) i don't think there's a good use for this pasta and i'm not completely sure why it exists except as a cruel italian joke, maybe.

in other house news, i am begrudgingly hanging more things bc i do want this joint to look a little less bare for when my siblings come.

in three columns left to right and then describing the columns from top to bottom:

postcard from the museum of sex in manhattan, postcard from my grandfather's collection, postcard from @believerindaydreams, cyanotype i did in high school

postcard from the restaurant my best friend's wedding reception was at, postcard from my sister when she went to japan, postcard from my sister when she went to france (no they are not flipped, also i had to trim this one without trimming any of the text and mack played with the sliver of cut off postcard for a solid forty minutes. acrobatic playing too, she was really going to fucking town smacking this sliver of postcard around)

another postcard from the best friend wedding reception restaurant, postcard from justseeds with a patreon backer reward postage stamp on top, patreon backer reward postcard from @calicojackofficial

i am not fucking around when i say i love postcards. this isn't even all the framed postcards in my house bc there are a series of five in one big frame, two in my room and two by my front door. plus some more in a box

and that's going to have to tide everyone over for the week break. i won't be totally offline (regular blogging, whatever the fuck that means, will probably continue) but i simply will not have the energy or time needed for a tuesdaypost

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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luna-writes-stuff · 3 years ago

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Heyyyy!!! Congrats on the milestone!!! Could I possibly request a matchup with Lotr and The Hobbit? No gender preference, but we all know there's a vast overrepresentation of men lol

I'm kind of average height with long blonde hair. I like reading and watching movies, I work in a bakery and I love to travel! I'm really into art and music as well as doing karate and scouting. I'm also into the general outdoor activities like hiking, outdoor cooking, snowboarding, climbing, skiing, canoing, biking etc. I'm also really into all kinds of mythology and folklore!

I'm stubborn and loyal, I tend to do things regardless of gender stereotypes and I try to be kind to everyone. My style slides from very feminine to gnc, and I love practical but nice looking clothing.

Sorry if this became a lot, feel free to pick and choose from these! Thank you in advance and take all the time you need Luna! 💕💕💕💕💕

Thank you for being the first one to tell me that there is a vast over representation of men in LOTR because I canNOT UNDERSTATE THIS. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Tolkien content we have but I would have loved to see more women kick ass, because yum.

The Lord of the Rings, Aragorn:

- After you said ‘travel’, who else did you expected me to choose? This man knows many woods and paths, and he has memorized many wonderful places he has been. Upon discovering your love for wandering, he wishes to do nothing more but show you those breathtaking waterfalls he found years ago. He knows all safe paths, so without any doubt, he will do anything in his power to keep you safe.

- For outdoor activities over all, he is the perfect person to go to. He has many experiences with things such as climbing and canoeing. And he absolutely loves the fact that he gets to share it with someone who is just as excited about it as him. He is very careful with you, sometimes a bit too much, though he knows you can handle yourself. It doesn’t go under appreciated, but you’d have to remind him that you can do those things yourself as well. He admires your daring spirit. Hell, at times it even leaves him stunned.

- He himself doesn’t even believe in gender stereotypes. He himself can be feminine at times and he doesn’t even care. As a king, he becomes clear to those ‘rules’, but he is quick to consider them broken. But crowds are difficult and push their opinions. Aragorn remains unfazed by the words though, and simply encourages you to do whatever you want to do. If he feels particularly bold, he’ll take a few days of and let you take over. You rule beside Aragorn often, but he remains the king, so it’s usually his words and decisions, but he makes it clear to you that he finds your actions as important as his own. Even as other fail to recognize the profit it brings.

——

The Hobbit, Fili:

- He loves good stories. Dwarves of their own already love tales, but he seems particularly fond of them. He has many stories to tell himself from his childhood and fairytales, but he enjoys listening to them even more. Introduce him to other mythologies and he won’t ever shut up about it. He gets so caught up in them, it’s adorable.

- If you can kick his ass, he is done for. The second you show him what you’ve learned through karate, he’s smitten. Completely head over heels. Dwarves are a proud folk, so don’t feel surprised when he lets his tongue run every so often. He’s so proud and in love with you, he simply has to share it with everyone. All in good nature of course, but he will never shut up about it.

- Fili enjoys lazy nights in, and though he loves going outdoors with you, he cannot wait for the night, where you cuddle up to him with a book while he reads over your shoulder. He doesn’t even have to know the stories. He just enjoys the time spent with you in his arms. It makes him feel all happy and warm inside, as cheesy as it might sound. He really prides himself on you.

——

#1000 followers celebration!#matchup requests closed!#lotr #lord of The Rings #the hobbit #tolkien #Aragorn #elessar #aragorn x reader #Fili #Fili durin #fili x reader

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ashirisu · 2 years ago

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This character breakdown is so fascinating to me because I've been following this fic since the beginning and actively running character analyses on every one of the key matchups to see how and why they work so well, and I love having some of my theories confirmed.

Long breakdown of my personal close-reading below the cut because I simply cannot resist, bless.

Something I've found particularly interesting is the idea shared among all the ATLA characters that their "spirits" were sent to them for a reason. It's so far proven to be a solid theory on their parts, because each of the brothers fills a role that the audience knows to be important to their overall character arc. They're also really effective at filling that role, because all the Hamatos are (generally) pretty good at open and honest communication that cuts right to the heart of the issue, which is something that only Katara was ever really good at in the show.

And all of them have important placements, obviously, but the ones that really stand out to me are Raph and Leo, because the character arcs of their respective matches are so understated in a way that makes the brothers' involvement seem especially impactful.

I have a lot of feelings about Raph/Toph, because I feel as though her character arc in the show didn't really get a lot of attention. She has this desperate need for freedom and independence as a result of her very restrictive childhood, but that frequently manifests in a selfish stubbornness that puts her at odds with the Gaang (especially Katara). And to pair her up with Chronic Older Brother™ Raph, who puts the needs of others above the needs of himself always, who bears an equal but opposite struggle in often not allowing himself to be just a kid because he has to be the adult, is absolute chef's kiss genius. He has a lot in common with Katara (who's the catalyst for Toph's arc in the show), but is willing to bluntly level with her in a way that Katara can't quite manage to with her mix of motherly sincerity and catty insults. Toph, in turn, has a lot in common with Leo, but can ultimately be persuaded to talk about her feelings and reach a compromise without deflecting and antagonizing with humor.

It's a mutually beneficial relationship that neither of them would have gotten with any other pairing. You mention the unbridled chaos of a Leo/Toph combo, but imagine the absolute bummer that would be Raph/Katara feeding into each others' trauma-driven need to parent their siblings. It'd bring down the vibe real quick.

And then there's Leo. My personal favorite headcanon and working theory is that Leo isn't there for Aang at all, or even the Gaang as a whole, but Sokka specifically. Swords, strategy, and stupid puns? They're a match made in heaven. More to the point, though, they both really struggle with the belief that they're the "useless" one on their respective teams, and nobody ever challenges that idea for either of them. Sure, the Gaang eventually realizes Sokka's importance in their overall dynamic, but none of them ever verbally acknowledge the value he brings to the team outside of being the funny one. And Casey Jr. (bless his oblivious little heart) only manages to make things worse for poor Leo and his unspoken insecurities about being nothing more than the team's face man.

Neither of them ever state these self-perceived shortcomings outright, which is why it's so important for both of them to have a peer who can relate while actively proving them wrong. I'm really hoping for a point at which we get to see that come to light, because they both really deserve to vent about the struggles of being the underappreciated de facto leader of the group that's ostensibly being led by someone else. Also because I think a more explicit focus on Sokka's character arc than the one we got in the show would be a helpful reminder to the Gaang as a whole that they're allowed to just be people while the war is going on, and that they don't have to deprioritize their own feelings and personal growth just because of their proximity to the Avatar.

All of this is just a really long-winded way of saying that I love this fic and I think you've done some really incredible work with your character match-ups that has me really looking forward to the continued development of everyone involved. You've done me the incredible favor of writing a crossover between the two pieces of media I love to hyperanalyze, so thank you and I'm sorry and you're welcome :)

So what made you decide where to put each turtle?

So, in the story the placement is meant to be ‘random’, but here are some of my character relationship reasons. LONG ANSWER BELOW!

Leo

His placement was one of the easiest to figure out. I feel like his character is loose enough to fit in with the Gaang on a peer level, but also experienced enough to act as a more adult figure in their group. Katara and Aang definitely look at Sokka as an older figure, but not an adult. Leo sort of fills that missing Adult roll even if they don’t realize it.

Raph

Raph and Toph was also easy. Raph just gives off the vibe of Earth. Stocky. Strong. Settled. He doesn’t question his decisions as much after the invasion. He’s also the perfect older figure for Toph. Everyone older in Toph’s life is overprotective and controlling. Raph gives Toph the space to be a kid (a dangerous kid) without smothering her. I also felt like they would play off each other well. Leo would’ve been a terrible influence on her if he landed there (I can already here “We’re not going to take it!” music playing as they take over the manor lmao). As it stands, Leo’s just (slightly) peeved that Raph’s acting so brotherly with her lol

(”I already have a sister,” Leo mumbles, “I don’t need another one. Especially not a know-it-all younger one.” “That’s you,” Raph sighs, “You literally just described yourself.” 😂🤣 )

Mikey & Donnie.....and Azula and Zuko lol

So Mikey and Donnie weren’t that difficult either. I believe Donnie and Azula was the first ‘pairing’ I decided in my drafts. Leo doesn’t have the compassion (or maybe patience is a better word) to deal with either Zuko or Azula. Raph might’ve gotten through to Zuko, but Zuko doesn’t need another supportive older person in his life (if that makes sense).

As for Azula, she wouldn’t respect Raph, because he can be easily manipulated through his emotions and gentle nature. I also think she would find an antagonist in Leo. Like, I just picture them fighting like cats and dogs. She would see his laidback demeanor as a cover to hide his intellect. She could never fully allow herself to trust or open up to him. Sort of the same for Leo. Azula’s nature would rub him the wrong way.

I also see Leo getting frustrated with Zuko’s stubbornness about his Nations participation in this war. He might feel some sympathy for both the siblings, but it wouldn’t be enough for him to stay.

Mikey though, has a big enough heart to try with Zuko. He doesn’t push the boy, but he’s also not needlessly vague (sorry Iroh) like Iroh is. He’ll push when he can, but the most important thing for me was the support. He gives it so easily to Zuko and I think it’s something Zuko needs outside of family. Mikey’s character also manages to find the fun in any situation, which is something Zuko is lacking as well (even though he fights it).

Azula, however, needs someone who can potentially see her as a monster, and still love her. I personally feel like a lot of people want to change who she is, and I don’t think that’s what she needs. She already believes herself to be a monster, so you’re only confirming that for her if she needs to change to be accepted. Donnie however, takes people as they are. He wouldn’t see a need to change her. He would just try to understand her and get what he needs from the Fire Nation, which is something Azula can respect.

But this simple acceptance of her nature allows her to open up in small ways. Sharing a book she hates, constant mentions of Zuko, allowing herself to be taught chess, requesting information on his behalf, etc.

I mean, he argues with her. No one in the show does it willingly. It’s why she’s so bad at it lol. It makes for fun character interactions though.

It’s just, out of all the brothers I thought would look at Azula and simply say “ok” was Donnie.

Hoped that answered some questions!

#i told y'all i'm fandom trash so it's about time i proved it #i've been obsessed with atla forever so it was only a matter of time before i made this fic my entire personality #a tale of spirits #atla #avatar the last airbender #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #atla toph #atla sokka #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo

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mira--mira · 3 years ago

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Another OOT question!

I know some people believe that Madara (adult) is misogynistic because of what he told Tsunade in the fourth war (about her being a weak woman) and that's a totally valid opinion! Taking into account that OOT's Madara clearly is not like that, I want to know what is your opinion regarding this. Personally, I think he didn't mean that because she is a woman she is weak, but that she is simply a woman and she is weak (like saying that she is a weak shinobi)

This got long lol

Honestly I've seen a few different theories, the "he's just a misogynist", the "Kishimoto knew he was getting backlash for how he portrays women so Madara said that and then Tsunade proved him wrong" (despite ultimately being beat), the "it was a mistranslation/comma theory and should have been read as 'you're weak, woman'" (I think is spiritually the same point you mention), the extremely creepy "well he hates women/doesn't like them this is obviously another hint he's gay" (which while this one is usually presented jokingly I dislike it so much. Male homosexuality has no intrinsic tie to misogyny and it just makes me so uncomfortable even as a joke.) However, my ultimate opinion is every character is some flavor of misogynist because Kishimoto is one and writes them like that in a mix of on purpose and by accident. This is kind of tricky because I don't know the man, I haven't consumed any content of his outside Naruto, and I don't make a habit of reading interviews or anything promotional about his writing process, so I'm reluctant to speak with any kind of definite authority but reading the manga or just watching the anime, in general, is just...terrible if you're focusing on how he portrays women and treats them like characters. This is a great essay that I like, but here are some main points that stick out to me about Kishimoto writing women.

First there are all the "missing women." By all accounts, ninja society should be split decently 50/50 on the sex ratio just like irl but...there's always one girl on a team of two boys. Besides Kurenai (and Tsume who's a special jonin but I'll count her) what prominent reoccurring female jonin do we see? Besides Anko what chunin? Count all the male characters you can and then the women and girls. Why are so many mothers housewives in magic ninja world with superpowers? Mikoto, Kushina, Yoshino, etc. How many of them don't even get named despite their husbands getting that basic acknowledgment? Ino's mom, Shino's mom, Choji's mom, Hinata's mom, Neji's mom, Gai's mom, Madara's mom, Hashirama's mom, etc.? Why out of every possible count of the Akatsuki is Konan the only woman (unless Taka is counted and then Karin is a member)?

Then there are types of women themselves. They're not allowed depth and most women's personalities can be divided by angry/shy dynamic as their main personality trait. They're always medics, always love interests, they never get to use their power to the extreme be taken seriously they're always handicapped by the narrative (see Konan and her powers as the biggest damn example of this). Sakura and Ino are the closest thing to actual friends two women are because there are so few of them in-universe but a big chunk of their relationship revolves around Sasuke. Even in that, women's relationships are ultimately dependent on men. Not even Tsunade is exempt from this. She never references Mito as an influence or major part of her character. Her biggest influences are Dan and Nawaki, her lover and her brother respectively. Her other influences were Hashirama, Hiruzen, Orochimaru, and Jiraiya. Shizune is the only woman she interacts with on a regular basis before Sakura but her story doesn't revolve around her relationship with Shizune, it's not even a major part narratively. Mei, the other extremely powerful woman with two kekkei genkai, who took over from Yagura and tried to restore Kiri's reputation from the bloody mist...is obsessed with marriage. Somehow I doubt if she'd been a man, that detail would have been kept.

I will not even begin to address the fucking mess Jiraiya is and how it's disgusting that he objectives Tsunade down to her body measurements and peeps on her in the bath all while claiming to be her friend.

And the saddest thing is this isn't just a Kishimoto problem. These are common things that are still present in media today. I hate the excuse "I don't know how to write women" it's just that, a lazy excuse. Ultimately I have no idea how canon Madara was supposed to come across with that line. I'm just not surprised or horrified by it at this point because there are so many other problems in the narrative.

OoT is my self-indulgent little fic where 95% of OCs of any kind will be women to try and drag that damn sex ratio back to even something decent and where all the looked over women will, at the very least, be given a fucking name. And I think I've mentioned in a comment or two on the fic, maybe even in one of the notes, but just in case I haven't it brings me sweet, sweet joy to headcanon the two most powerful men of their time, Hashirama and Madara, as momma's boys whose relationships with their mothers (especially Madara because of that line) cannot be overlooked or understated to understanding their characters in that AU. It's my fuck you to Kishimoto's way of handling women. And, I guess I'll announce it here lol, I'm reworking Kaguya's role in the narrative too and she's no longer getting scrapped in OoT because I'm going to make her make sense and work without alien bullshit and a flat female antagonist who appeared too late and didn't get proper build up.

#naruto #asks #al-stuffy #this turned into a rant lol #kishimoto handling women #that should be its own cw #out of time

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amethystpath-writes · 4 years ago

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Hi ! Love what you wrote BUT ABSOLUTELY ADORE "Dance with the Devil" with Hades (#teamhotgreekvillainforever) and Persephone !! So ... Perhaps a continuation please *O* ??

Continued from this.

Looking down at her legs as she sat on a throne of thorns, Persephone bit her tongue. Hades stained her once brilliantly glowing legs with the marks of the souls which tried to drag her down into the Underworld’s fiery and endless depths.

‘A reminder,’ the lord told his queen, ‘that I could have let you fall. I did not have to pull you out.’

But he did have to pull her out, didn’t he? Because Perse was the only one Hades would have ever considered being his queen. Her brilliance was nothing to understate. She glowed brighter than even the sun- brighter than Apollo, too. Persephone was beautiful, and she was even more so shrouded in Hades’ world of night sky.

‘I would have preferred you let me fall,’ she returned. The defiance had not lasted. Hades gripped her mind with his own, crushing it beneath a strong grip until she was knelt on the ground, touching the tips of his feet with outstretched arms. Compliant. Yielding.

This was when Hades knelt to her, whispering to her a sweet nothing. ‘I should do this to you someday, my queen. Lay myself down for you. Submit beneath your will.’ He hummed, standing, and telling her to do the same. She did.

They had remained in the ballroom after their dance, after Persephone’s near-plummet to everlasting torment and despair. Demeter was correct in telling her daughter of the lord’s eyes- of how looking into to them meant losing every piece of yourself if it were as Hades wished. The man was wretched, despicable, terrible. And he loved the Goddess of Spring.

Now Persephone sat alone in the room, considering an escape, but knowing she could never achieve one. This world Hades possessed worked against her in any way that might have revealed Perse was trying to get away, trying her hand at rebelliousness. Even simply shifting in the throne she sat on led to branches of thorns stretching out into her vision- a threat to her to stay seated. Hades didn’t even trust her to wander the ballroom, which as she viewed it, had no escape anyhow- no doors or windows. And even if there were an opening, she would only fall into an endless amount of matter made of fire.

Perse touched the arm of the- not her- throne, looking at the thorns. She could make flowers bloom in their place, or perhaps beside them. In an instant, she conjured every visual of flowers belonging to thorn bushes: roses, blackberries, black raspberries, flowering quince, chickasaw plum, elderberry, black chokeberry.

There were many flowering plants with thorns, but the one she considered most was this; pokeweed- or nightshade as many knew it. So what if it were not much of a flower? Every part of the plant was likely to cause death if one consumed enough. What was the likelihood of Hades knowing that? Would he even be naïve enough to pick berries from Persephone’s throne if she decided to grow them? It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

The throne blossomed with pink-red stems which developed green berries. Over the course of minutes, some of the berries ripened, but not all. It was part of Perse’s strategy to do this. Hades would pick two or three of the ripened fruits, then Persephone could tell him the green ones were just as good to eat- hence why she left so many.

Her plan was well thought out and the throne did not object to her enchantment. The Goddess of Spring took this as a sign that Hades didn’t understand at all how dangerous this was.

As she waited, Persephone took the time to look at the rest of the room, particularly the checkered floor which nearly swallowed her perhaps an hour ago. She hated that floor almost more than the dark lord who pulled her out of it. What would happen if she stepped onto it now? If she managed to escape the throne, she imagined the floor would fall through as soon as her lightweight touched it. What would Hades do then? Would he save his queen for a second time? Probably. He would likely never let her go.

It was as she thought this that Perse jumped at the King of the Underworld’s sudden image in the centre of the room. Swallowing, she tilted her chin up, as if she were superior to the dark lord- and she was. As terrified as Persephone was, she would hold her own weight.

“Very gorgeous, my queen.” Hades admired her throne from afar before stepping further. “Nightshade, yes? I think you have proven your place even further in my court. Does Demeter understand just how dark her daughter, the goddess of Spring, is?”

He knew.

Persephone crunched a fist and let the berries dwindle and fall to the ground in her defeat. Of course Hades would know of nightshade. How could she assume that the lord of the Underworld wouldn’t know about poisoned berries? So many mortals had fallen prey to them or used them as killing agents themselves. Hades was likely experienced in every method of death, which meant Persephone had no hope.

“No need to kill them. Their colour is unique to my realm. Keep them.”

Her chin became even more angled. “No.”

Hades chuckled, coming closer and closer to her. The floor remained intact beneath his feet unlike it would if Perse stepped on it. “Your defiance will fade someday, my dear. And when it does, you will find yourself happy you stayed.”

She gritted her teeth. “You say it as if I had a choice. I chose to die.” Instinctively, now, she glanced at her charcoaled legs. The horror of the moment remained, from being grasped by the ankles by light-eating souls, and Persephone could hear her own screams. It was dreadful, but she still preferred physical torment over- over whatever this was in the ballroom. Being bound to a throne of thorns and talked to like a pet by Hades…it was worse than any fate.

“But you chose me over being turned to stone. That sounds like choosing life- a life with me.”

“You are God of the Underworld. You are Death itself.”

“So, you chose death over stone. What point are you attempting to make anymore, I wonder.”

Persephone fell silent. Her point was that she did not choose Hades, but…well, he was right. In the moment the lord mentioned Medusa, she had been more terrified of her than him. She looked into his eyes, even if by accident in terror.

Hades walked up the dais and held a hand out to Persephone. “I could grow berries in your stomach,” she said. Persephone looked at his offered hand then almost to his eyes. It wouldn’t matter if she looked into his eyes now; Perse was already under his control. Still, Persephone liked to pretend she never looked to begin with. Especially in moments like these where Hades allowed her own free will.

“And you may.”

Now, she did look. It seemed shocking statements were a sure-fire way to gain Perse’s full attention. “What do you- why? Why would you allow me to?”

The lord smiled at her, poison shining on his teeth. “What did you call me just moments ago, my love?”

God of the Underworld. Death itself. The realization tugged at her throat and she whispered, “You cannot die, can you?”

His smile widened. Persephone’s stomach knotted.

“Take my hand, my queen. Our dinner is ready.”

******

Part 3 here

(Tag list: @nuttynutcycle @igotthesmellofbooks @revrevrew-personal) I will probably make this a series if it becomes requested again.

#request fill #continuation #persephone and hades #greek #greek mythology #greek story

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dramaticviolincrescendo · 4 years ago

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Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1. Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2. Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3. Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4. Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5. Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1. Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2. Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3. Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears.

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4. Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship.

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5. Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey.

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did.

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

#shameless #ian gallagher #it's ian gallagher loving hours #shameless meta #well that took six hours #and I didn't get more writing done #but I feel accomplished

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 years ago

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books books books books

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absolutely no preamble; I've been putting this off because I was trying to finish reading Ahmed faster than was physically possible before I posted this but now it's time to face reality

what have I been reading?

Book of Hours (Kevin Young) - I've been all high and mighty about not reading any books authored solely by men this year and then I completely forgot myself by reading this poetry collection. and I regret nothing; Young's reflections on loss of his father and birth of his son make for a mournful and meditative narrative that's a quick but compelling read. strongly recommend for folks who aren't super at ease reading poetry but want to change that, like myself.

Red at the Bone (Jacqueline Woodson) - sometimes I'm reminded that despite my obvious preference for speculative fiction, I'm not at all opposed to contemporary stories so long as the writing is simply exquisite. Woodson's work is sharp as ever, her prose poignant and poetic as she untangles the hurt and hope across three generations of a family shaken by an unexpected pregnancy.

The Kingdom of Copper (S.A. Chakraborty) - oh man oh my god you guys, this series does not stop and it CERTAINLY does not disappoint. I read 300 (!!!) pages of this book during one day of travel and did not once get sick of it, and A Certain Scene near the end made my cry uncontrollably. I'm going to be a little delayed getting to Empire of Gold because of my decision to dedicate June and July to new releases, and honestly that's okay with me - it would be a shame to run through a great thing too soon.

Children of Vengeance and Virtue (Tomi Adeyemi) - meanwhile, on the polar opposite end of the sequel scale... I'm gonna be real guys, I think I might have waited too long to read this. I remember Blood and Bone being a delightful, Avatar-inspired romp across Yoruba mythology - epic and massive, filled with intricate magic, a little messy in places but understandably so, given that it centered on teens tasked with fixing a very broken world. it was fun. this one was not fun. most of the book involves the narrative bending over backwards to keep Zélie and Amari constantly fighting, until Amari (spoiler alert) eventually decides to become a war criminal about it. Inan is still Inan, which is to say he's The Worst, and Zélie's new love interest is a shithead teenage mercenary whose hits all the worst "sexy dangerous bad boy" cliches. Tzain is the only one who's never done anything wrong, and that's because he was barely in this one. that's a big oof from me.

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within (Becky Chambers) - god, speaking of good things being over. this is possibly the coziest of Chambers' Wayfarers books yet, following five strangers of four different alien species stuck at one outer space truck stop thanks to an unexpected infrastructure failure. while stuck together they grapple with the usual bevy of themes Chambers explores in her books - culture, colonialism, community, connection, and what it means to be a person in a world with countless forms of personhood. it's a soft, understated end to a soft and understated series, and - surprise surprise - made me cry like a baby. also it's introduced my second favorite alien, an artsy, amiable, hedonistic lobster named Roveg who's simply a delight on all fronts.

what am I reading now?

Living A Feminist Life (Sara Ahmed) - oh man okay getting back into reading theory for fun is a slow and painful process and I cannot read this as quickly as I want but oh man. oh my god. Sara Ahmed your brain.

Sorrowland (Rivers Solomon) - the first new books of Hot Book Summer! I'm not very far in at all, but Sorrowland already has a vibe that feels very much in conversation with Octavia Butler's Parable books. and you know I love some Butler!

#bookblr #reading updates

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nealiios · 3 years ago

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The Supernatural 70s: Part I - Corruption of An Innocent

"We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we're soldiers writers."

-- with apologies to the screenwriter of "Stripes"

Dear reader, I have the darkest of revelations to make to you, a truth when fully and wholly disclosed shall most assuredly chill you to the bone, a tale that shall make you question all that you hold to be true and good and holy about my personal history. While you may have come in search of that narrative designer best known for his works of interactive high fantasy, you should know that he is also a crafter of a darker art, a scribbler of twisted tales filled with ghosts, and ghouls, and gargoyles. I am, dear innocent, a devotee of horrors! Mwahahahaha!

[cue thunderclap, lightning, pipe organ music]

Given the genre of writing for which most of you know me, I forgive you if you think of me principally as a fantasy writer. I don't object to that classification because I do enjoy mucking about with magic and dark woods and mysterious ancient civilizations. But if you are to truly know who I am as a writer, you must realize that the image I hold of myself is principally as a creator of weird tales.

To understand how and why I came to be drawn to this sub-genre of fantastic fiction, you first must understand that I come from peculiar folks. Maybe I don't have the Ipswich look, or I didn't grow up in a castle, but my pedigree for oddity has been there from the start. My mother was declared dead at birth by her doctor, and often heard voices calling to her in the dead of night that no one else could hear. Her mother would periodically ring us up to discuss events in our lives about which she couldn't possibly have known. My father's people still share ghost stories about a family homestead that burned down mysteriously in the 1960s. Even my older brother has outré memories about events he says cannot possibly be true, and as a kid was kicked off the Tulsa city bookmobile for attempting to check out books about UFOs, bigfoot, and ESP. It's fair to say I was doomed - or destined - for weirdness from the start.

If the above listed circumstances had not been enough, I grew up in an area where neighbors whispered stories about a horrifically deformed Bulldog Man who stalked kids who "parked" on the Old North Road near my house. The state in which I was raised was rife with legends of bigfoots, deer women, and devil men. Even in my childhood household there existed a pantheon of mythological entities invented explicitly to keep me in line. If I was a good boy, The Repairman would leave me little gifts of Hot Wheels cars or candy. If I was being terrible, however, my father would dress in a skeleton costume, rise from the basement and threaten to drag me down into everlasting hellfire (evidently there was a secret portal in our basement.) There were monsters, monsters EVERYWHERE I looked in my childhood world. Given that I was told as a fledgling writer to write what I knew, how could anyone have been surprised that the first stories I wrote were filled with the supernatural?

"The Nightmare" by John Henry Fuseli (1781)

My formative years during the late sixties and early seventies took place at a strange juncture in our American cultural history. At the same time that we were loudly proclaiming the supremacy of scientific thought because we'd landed men on the moon, we were also in the midst of a counter cultural explosion of interest in astrology, witchcraft, ghosts, extra sensory perception, and flying saucers. Occult-related books were flying off the shelves as sales surged by more than 100% between 1966 and 1969. Cultural historians would come to refer to this is as the "occult boom," and its aftershocks would impact popular cultural for decades to come.

My first contact with tales of the supernatural were innocuous, largely sanitized for consumption by children. I vividly remember watching Casper the Friendly Ghost and the Disney version of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I read to shreds numerous copies of both Where the Wild Things Are and Gus the Ghost. Likely the most important exposure for me was to the original Scooby Doo, Where Are You? cartoon which attempted to inoculate us from our fears of ghosts and aliens by convincing us that ultimately the monster was always just a bad man in a mask. (It's fascinating to me that modern incarnations of Scooby Doo seem to have completely lost this point and instead make all the monsters real.)

ABOVE: Although the original cartoon Scooby Doo, Where Are You? ran only for one season from 1969 to 1970, it remained in heavy reruns and syndication for decades. It is notable for having been a program that perfectly embodied the conflict between reason and superstition in popular culture, and was originally intended to provide children with critical thinking skills so they would reject the idea of monsters, ghosts, and the like. Ironically, modern takes on Scooby Doo have almost entirely subverted this idea and usually present the culprits of their mysteries as real monsters.

During that same time, television also introduced me to my first onscreen crush in the form of the beautiful and charming Samantha Stevens, a witch who struggles to not to use her powers while married to a frequently intolerant mortal advertising executive in Bewitched. The Munsters and The Addams Family gave me my first taste for "goth" living even before it would become all the rage in the dance clubs of the 1980s. Late night movies on TV would bring all the important horror classics of the past in my living room as Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, the Invisible Man, the Phantom of the Opera, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Godzilla all became childhood friends. Over time the darkened castles, creaking doors, foggy graveyards, howling wolves, and ever present witches and vampires became so engrained in my psyche that today they remain the "comfort viewing" to which I retreat when I'm sick or in need of other distractions from modern life.

ABOVE: Elizabeth Montgomery starred in Bewitched (1964 - 1972) as Samantha Stephens, a witch who married "mortal" advertising executive Darren Stephens (played for the first five seasons by actor Dick York). Inspired by movies like I Married a Witch (1942) and Bell, Book and Candle (1958), it was a long running series that explored the complex relationship dynamics between those who possess magic and those who don't. Social commentators have referred to it as an allegory both for mixed marriages and also about the challenges faced by minorities, homosexuals, cultural deviants, or generally creative folks in a non heterogeneous community. It was also one of the first American television programs to portray witches not as worshippers of Satan, but simply as a group of people ostracized for their culture and their supernatural skills.

Even before I began elementary school, there was one piece of must-see gothic horror programming that I went out of my way to catch every day. Dark Shadows aired at 3:30 p.m. on our local ABC affiliate in Tulsa, Oklahoma which usually allowed me to catch most of it if I ran home from school (or even more if my mom or brother picked me up.) In theory it was a soap opera, but the show featured a regular parade of supernatural characters and themes. The lead was a 175 year old vampire named Barnabas Collins (played by Johnathan Frid), and the show revolved around his timeless pursuit of his lost love, Josette. It was also a program that regularly dealt with reincarnation, precognition, werewolves, time travel, witchcraft, and other occult themes. Though it regularly provoked criticism from religious groups about its content, it ran from June of 1966 until it's final cancellation in April of 1971. (I would discover it in the early 1970s as it ran in syndication.) Dark Shadows would spin off two feature-length movies based on the original, a series of tie-in novels, an excellent reboot series in 1991 (starring Ben Cross as Barnabas), and a positively embarrassingly awful movie directed by Tim Burton in 1991.

ABOVE: Johnathan Frid starred as Barnabas Collins, one of the leading characters of the original Dark Shadows television series. The influence of the series cannot be understated. In many ways Dark Shadows paved the way for the inclusion of supernatural elements in other soap operas of the 1970s and the 1980s, and was largely responsible for the explosion of romance novels featuring supernatural themes over the same time period.

While Dark Shadows was a favorite early television program for me, another show would prove not only to be a borderline obsession, but also a major influence on my career as a storyteller. Night Gallery (1969-1973) was a weekly anthology television show from Rod Serling, better known as the creator and host of the original Twilight Zone. Like Twilight Zone before it, Night Gallery was a deep and complex commentary on the human condition, but unlike its predecessor the outcomes for the characters almost always skewed towards the horrific and the truly outré. In "The Painted Mirror," an antiques dealer uses a magic painting to trap an enemy in the prehistoric past. Jack Cassidy plots to use astral projection to kill his romantic rival in "The Last Laurel" but accidentally ends up killing himself. In "Eyes" a young Stephen Spielberg directs Joan Crawford in a story about an entitled rich woman who plots to take the sight of a poor man. Week after week it delivered some of the best-written horror television of the early 1970s.

In retrospect I find it surprising that I was allowed to watch Night Gallery at all. I was very young while it was airing, and some of the content was dark and often quite shocking for its time. Nevertheless, I was so attached to the show that I'd throw a literal temper tantrum if I missed a single, solitary episode. If our family needed to go somewhere on an evening that Night Gallery was scheduled, either my parents would either have to wait until after it had aired before we left, or they'd make arrangements in advance with whomever we were visiting to make sure it was okay that I could watch Night Gallery there. I was, in a word, a fanatic.

ABOVE: Every segment of Night Gallery was introduced by series creator Rod Serling standing before a painting created explicitly for the series. Director Guillermo del Toro credits Serling's series as being the most important and influential show on his own work, even more so than the more famous Twilight Zone.

#horror #70s #occult #supernatural #television #writing

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