#my life is inherently lonely without this

[mqueerlife]

PLATONIC CUDDLES

i want more platonic cuddling--sitting on your lap, leaning my head on your shoulder, just overall being close with you--without the expectation of romance or dating or 'more'

i want platonic hand-holding and platonic besties going and doing things together maybe going to lunch, the movies, hanging out in a library together

i want this kind of connection, a person who is special who i can buy or make random little gifts for and who i just exist with

[physalian]

“Likable” vs “Compelling” Protagonists

Protagonist does not mean “good guy” it means “the person the story is about”.

Antagonist does not mean “bad guy” it means “person in opposition to the protagonist”.

We know this, yes?

So when I’m talking about “likable” protagonists I do not mean that your MC has to be witty, funny, charming, etc—they have to be compelling.

I didn’t much care for Death Note, I thought Light got away with way too much without consequences for his actions, but he was very much the villain and the protagonist. He was an arrogant narcissist with a god complex and you watched the show not to see him win, but to see how badly he would eventually lose.

This was because, despite my dislike of his story, Light was a compelling character. You don’t necessarily agree with his motivations, but you do understand why he does what he does and why he believes what he does about himself and his world.

In contrast, one of my favorite anime is Code Geass. Lelouch (who is often compared to Light) is *constantly* getting kicked in the ass by his own hubris. He's arrogant as well, but he makes mistakes everywhere and suffers if not immediate comeuppance, then drastic consequences later down the line. Which, to me, made a far more compelling character than someone like Light playing with cheat codes.

Most of the time, “likable” and “compelling” go hand in hand, because your protagonist is the “good guy” that we’re supposed to root for.

So one of the worst mistakes I think you can make is writing a hero who just doesn’t want to be here.

—

I recently read a story where MC needed to win a competition, baseline unsponsored underdog story, and everyone loves an underdog. The problem was the MC’s attitude. Nothing pleased them and in their internal monologue, nothing was good enough and everyone else was the problem. They actually hate competitions and can’t wait for this to be over…even though no one forced them into it with a gun to their head. They hate all their competitors for behavior they themself exhibit. They hate their lone sponsor for being a sleezeball, and yet, chose to enter a voluntary competition, knowing this sponsor’s behavior, and still blaming the sponsor for their problems.

The entire time I was reading all I kept thinking was, “Then go home, bitch!”

This was not a high-stakes competition, and the MC didn’t have dire enough circumstances for the reader to believe this was a "life-or-death, even if it sucks, MC has to win," type situation. Not like Hunger Games. This was all completely voluntary.

So I started wondering if the author meant the MC to be the villain with all these personality flaws, but they’re still the underdog with no wins under their belt to support their level of entitled arrogance and no notable skills that make them inherently better than the competition.

So I was rooting for the MC to lose, and I don’t think I was supposed to. Even if I was, the mixup between “underdog hero” and “catty bitchy villain” was too confusing for too much of the story. MC didn't have to be here, didn't want to be here, so... why was MC here?

—

Some suggestions for compelling motivations for your protagonist boils down to this:

Define as quickly as you can these three things for your protagonist of any walk:

What the protagonist wants

How the protagonist plans to get it

And what’s in their way

Specify the stakes, if not physical, then personal. It doesn’t have to be life-or-death, but if they’re entering a risky situation, whatever it is has to be extremely important to them. Luca doesn’t have as high stakes as, say, Toy Story 3 but the moped race is important to the heroes, thus a compelling motivation.

Make this a journey they actually want to be on. Even if it’s grimdark or horror, if your hero is complaining the entire time and wanting to go home, yet plowing forward anyway because the plot’s dragging them on a leash, your audience will be as invested in the story as that character. If they don’t actually have the commitment to see their quest through, why should the audience care?

Alternatively, make this a journey they cannot afford to walk away from. Whether that be pressure from without or within. Frodo didn’t have to take the One Ring to Mordor. He chose to, because it was, in his mind, the right thing to do. He suffered his entire journey with the Ring and got homesick and depressed and discouraged, but he never called his own journey stupid and dumb. He could have put the Ring down and walked away or given it to somebody else, but he chose to carry on, because that’s who he is.

Even reluctant chosen ones have an ulterior reason for remaining in the story. Your long-lost princess might not want the throne being thrust upon her, but she’s chasing something else that accepting the throne and going along with the plot will give her. Maybe it’s power, respect, vengeance, money, protection, connections. So she’ll tolerate the nonsense so long as it still gets her what she wants and her struggle might be trying to not let herself get corrupted by the allure of politics and “the game”. Or, she's playing along merely to stay alive and actively trying to escape and return to her simpler life.

Popular example: Percy Jackson is a reluctant chosen one throughout his entire story in every book, even Last Olympian where he insists that he's the unknown prophecy child. In The Lightning Thief he doesn’t give a damn about the quest for the Master Bolt, he’s there to get his mom back, and cooperating with the quest will give him the means to achieve his goal, and along the way, finds that he doesn’t quite hate it as much as he thought he would.

—

So. Yeah. In no way, shape, or form does your protagonist have to be “likable”. If someone tells you they aren’t, they probably mean that your protagonist is contradictory, or lacks compelling motivation and drive, and lacks a clear goal or aspiration that will define their story. Or, they lack drive to even participate in the story at all.

Or they simply mean that your charcater, who you intend to be likeable, has a nasty flaw that would turn readers off, but a beta should be able to tell you that one easily. If they can't come up with a solid reason why your charcater is unlikable, it's probably a motivation issue.

The earliest draft of a WIP that shall never see the light of day had my protagonist sent on a glorified space field trip by her parents, and wasn’t happy to be there. This not only made her unlikable, but also uncompelling. She didn’t want to participate in the plot and only did it to hold up her end of the deal, she wasn’t excited about the actual trip nor making friends, and eventually grew into it far too late in the story.

I then changed it to have the trip be her idea, and she ran away from home to chase this dream she had. Doing so gave her much more agency as an MC and gave her an immediate motive and goal so you wanted to see her succeed right from the get go.

Even villain protagonists have a goal, and generally they very much enthusiastically want to be in this story. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to want to root for them, if not for their success, then their eventual downfall in a blaze of glory.

—

Interested in a fantasy novel without a "chosen one" protagonist? Eternal Night of the Northern Sky is up for preorder in ebook, paperback on sale 8/25/24. Subscribe for updates if you'd like~

[ohtobeleah]

Day One: [My Lover, My Hero]

Summary: After a nasty break-up with your Ex, Rhett, he comes to your rescue when two burly patrons don’t take no for an answer.

Warnings: Sexual Assault, Physical Assault, Deception, Rhett Abbott x F!reader. Mentions of Sex. Betrayal. Public Torture/Public Use, Stressful Position.

Whumptober Prompt Day One: Public Torture/Public Use, Stress Sosition, “If you cry, we’ll go easy on you.”

Word Count: 1.4k

Author Note: Please make sure you read the warnings provided. Disclaimer: I do not condone nor endorse the actions that are written about during the month of October. These works of fiction are just that, fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for this year's prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You knew what the whole town thought of you. It wasn’t something people turned their heads and whispered about. If it was a quiet night, sometimes, a drunk or two would tell you right to your face. 

You couldn’t say the rumours weren’t true to some extent. They were, without fail, exaggerated beyond belief. But in small country towns like Wabang, the town gossip was mostly mundane and lightweight. People can’t help but be noisy, it’s in our inherent nature to want to know things that have nothing to do with us. They couldn’t help but talk about the breakup, and how ever since, you’d been letting anyone you could stand to be with, bury themselves inside you just to numb the pain. 

The pain of losing Rhett in a stupid argument about the Rodeo life. How it would someday kill him before he had a chance to make it big. To make all the broken bones, bruised ribs and late nights away from you worth it. 

You liked sex, and had sex a lot. But you always chose when and who with and were safe while riding your highs. It didn’t mean you welcomed the groping, the comments, or the workplace harassment. You were always in control….. 

Until you weren’t anymore. 

“Shut the fuck up,” The man who held you against his chest by hooking your arms with his, growled into your ear. He licked up the side of your neck, sending a shiver of terror down your spine. “If you keep crying girly, maybe we’ll go easy on you.” The tone of the man’s voice was like ice against your skin. So cold that it burned. You couldn’t get away no matter how hard you tried to wiggle free. 

“Let me go, you sick son of a bitch!” You growled as you struggled to free yourself. The discarded bag of cans you were taking out to the trash laid not far away. It was closing time at the bar. The local watering hole, just on the outskirts of town. There was another bar closer to town, but it was more high-end and had a bistro attached. It was known as a more family-friendly establishment. The bar you worked at was a tried and true dive bar. Somewhere a person could go to cause some trouble and no one would bat an eye. 

“C’mon now, Y/n,” The man walking towards you grinned. “You’ve given it out to half the goddamn town at this point,” He chuckled to his friend who tightened his grip on you as you tried your best to free yourself. “It’s our turn now, don’t you think?” It was a closed question, but even if you had gone ahead and said no, the answer was always going to be a yes in his eyes. 

“I think the lady said enough,” You heard a low growl come from the darkness. The slur, the tone, you knew who it was and you’d never been more thankful to hear his voice. “And I don’t know about her but I wouldn’t touch you for all the money in the world.” 

“Oh get off your high horse there, Abbott,” The man who stood before you shouted over your shoulder. Rhett took a few steps out of the darkness and into the dim light of the lone spotlight hanging from the side of the building. “Don’t you have some goals or ambitions in life besides babysitting the town tramp?” It made your heart burn in anguish inside your chest. You weren’t a tramp. You weren’t a whore. You didn’t ask for any of this. All you wanted was for Rhett to see how much of his life he was missing out on chasing a pipe dream. 

“I always found that if you had a goal, you might not reach it,” Rhett chuckled to himself as he walked over with his hands in his pockets, looking at you like you lit up all the stars in the night sky just for him. “But if you have none? Well, then you’re never disappointed.” You knew where this was going, it could only really end one of two ways. The first being Rhett loses and you experience the worst this town has to offer. The second being Rhett wins, and you never leave the house without a taser or pepper spray again. 

“And I gotta say, it feels phenomenal.” Rhett gave you a quick wink before he threw the first punch, landing a right hook against the man’s cheek. You couldn’t say it wasn’t a good feeling seeing him stumble back. After all, he and his buddy still had you on lock with nothing but horrible intentions. 

“Rhett!” You sobbed as you watched Rhett take on the man who had clearly been the orchestrator of your attack. “Please–!” You didn’t want this, you didn’t want any of this. You didn’t want either of these men to touch you. You didn’t want either of these men anywhere near you. But you also didn’t want Rhett to go through hell and back to get you out of a mess you felt responsible for. Maybe if you hadn’t been so flirty, or fed into the rumours and the reputation as much as you had, then none of this would be happening. 

None of this would make your mama proud. 

“This doesn’t concern you, Abbott!” The man who’d been holding you threw you down into the gravel beneath your feet. Rhett saw the commotion from the corner of his eyes before he turned away from the first assaulter to give some special attention to the man now coming directly at his bloodied self. 

“Not nearly as much as your hair does,” Rhett remarked as it was now and always had been, two-on-one. Your knees bleed from the small rocks cutting into your skin as you shook with fear and shock. How was this happening? How had not a single person besides Rhett stopped to help you? 

“Fucking piece of shit!” 

“Is that all you’ve got?” 

“Ahhh get the fuck up kid–come on, stand up!” 

“Careful old man, wouldn’t wanna flare up your osteoporosis,” 

“SHIT,” 

“Come on man, let’s get outta here,” 

It was all a blur of punches, kicks and groans as the three men went at it in the near-empty back alley of the dive bar you worked at. By the time you were on your feet, the man who had been holding you had run away. Leaving behind his friend, the clear ringleader. 

“Okay Romeo, let me help you up there,” Rhett sighed as he offered the man a hand as he laid breathless on his back. It was more than you would have offered, but Rhett was different. Rhett was kind, he was the best of what Wabang had to offer. Some people would disagree with you on that one, but they just didn’t know him like you did. 

Or so you thought. 

“Get the hell off of me you bastard!” The man hissed as he spat blood right near Rhett’s boot. “Fuck you, and fuck your whore of a girlfriend too.” 

“I’m not his girlfriend you ass, and I’m not some piece of meat you can just manhandle into submission either.” You spat back as he retreated from the scene of the almost crime. Leaving you and Rhett standing side by side in the dust that had been kicked about. 

“Well, at least that didn’t escalate,” You sighed sarcastically as you buried your face in Rhett’s chest, overcome with his scent. Cedarwood and bourbon. “Thank you so much, Rhett, I was really worried I wasn’t getting out of that one.” 

Rhet didn’t move a muscle as he let you hug him, he just stood there, like a bloodied and beaten statue. 

“Rhett?” You questioned as you looked up to see a look in his eyes you didn’t recognise. “What’s wrong?” You nearly whispered, too afraid of the answer after what had just happened. 

“You know I paid them good money–” Rhett spoke in a monotone voice you didn’t recognise, or just didn’t want to. “But at the last minute, I couldn’t watch,” Rhett explained as you tried to back away. Rhett had gripped at both your wrists before you could move. 

“Rhett, let me go–” You sobbed all the while trying to process everything. “Rhett, stop it! What are you–” 

“But I’m sick and fucking tired of seeing you fuck the whole damn town,” With one fluid motion, Rhett’s forehead connected with yours, immediately breaking your nose and forcing blood to splatter across his mouth. “I got you, I got you.” Rhett cooed as he caught your unconscious self. 

Throwing you over his shoulder as he made his way back to his beloved truck. Ready to get his money’s worth.

***********************

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 13

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

I Need A Hero by @theroyalsavage

The "Nico is a superhero, Will is a med student" AU nobody asked for or wanted.

OBSESSED WITH THIS AU OBSESSED WITH THIS AU OBSESSED WITH THIS AU. I AM LOSING MY MIND AND HAVE READ IT SO MANY DOZENS OF TIMES. genuinely one of my top faces like its so fucking GOOD!!! the romcom romance of it all!! makes me lose it!!! the angst of loving someone who is constantly putting himself on the front lines!! the fear of not knowing if he's coming home!! being his healer, holding his life in your hands because he doesn't trust it with anyone else!!!! what if i rioted!!! what if i chewed clean through my ceiling!!!!! what if i swallowed my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i clawed my way out of the pit of despair!!!! i am!! gonna!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!

2. As If His Hands Were Enough (to Hold an Avalanche Off) by @theroyalsavage

Nico di Angelo has been through enough to know life doesn't always work out the way you plan. But fate is a funny thing, and, in Nico's junior year of college, it hands him salvation in the form of freckled cheeks and a smile like the sun.

OH dude this author is actually everything to me. prepare for an onslaught of their stuff bc i am OBSESSED, but this one especially....oh it's special man. this had me LOSING MY MIND. seph’s acceptance made its way into my devotion scrapbook. never be ashamed of loving anybody….what a fucking thesis. i also ADORED how a) story didn’t end with them getting together, went thru them learning each other too and b) nico didn’t get fixed by dating will. he got fixed by loving himself, something he learned to do by loving will. crying.

3. Of Gods and Men by @theroyalsavage

There is something profoundly strange about the forest behind Will Solace’s new house. The trees, it seems, breathe magic. The truth is this: there are things that the forest hides that humans cannot understand. Nico di Angelo is one of them.

I LOVE PARTICULAR AUS!!!!!! AND I LOVE YOU ROYAL SAVAGE!!!!! dude god nico and mortal will is always gonna knock me flat bc its so canon, you know? will is going to be a consort of a god one day. and to read it in fic has me HOWLING but this one in particular....OH the ending is gonna knock yall flat fr!!! if you like percy refusing immortality for annabeth youre gonna LOVE this!!

4. Kitchen Nightmares by @theroyalsavage

Nico is the owner and head chef of an upscale restaurant in Hell's Kitchen, New York City. There's nothing easy about running a business, especially when you have to juggle an overprotective father, a college-age sister, and a staff about as under control as a stampede. The last thing Nico needs is a rival in the form of the ugliest food truck on the face of the planet. And yet, that's exactly what he gets. Of food fights, fledgling friendships, and Nico di Angelo's stupid little soft spot for Will Solace.

i know ive literally said it like five times now but NO ONE does an au like theroyalsavage idc. dude romeo & juliet but food truck and fancy restaurant?? hello!!!! omg!! i literally sat my ass down and devoured this i could not stop myself. and then i hit the end and started it right back up again. the love without having the space to establish anything….inherent homoeroticism of rivalry…..my heart!!

5. don't wanna be lonely, just wanna be yours by @theroyalsavage

Will Solace, café manager extraordinaire, just wants to coast through their monthly open mic night in peace. He definitely is not banking on meeting a handsome stranger with the voice of the gods and the death glare of a high-ranking member of the KGB. And yet, that's exactly what he gets.

telling someone you’re not even dating you’re in love with them after like five months is insane behaviour will solace i get you 😭😭 he is so real in every scenario all the time like he is genuinely perfect for nico who is equally as insane and deserves someone who is fully obsessed with him. god.

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[pendragonsclotpole]

help, i just got slapped in the face with the existence of WILL. be still my beating heart as i write an essay on this man, will of ealdor

firstly, i adore the silent and implicit trust hidden in the first joke that introduces will’s character. like merlin’s been aware his whole life that if his secret is ever found out, he will be hunted down and persecuted, but here comes will with a jab that they both inherently understand is a joke in the macabre style only true friends can lovingly master. the smile they share almost immediately gives me ned stark and robert baratheon meeting again in the courtyard of winterfell in season one of got. there’s also something so normal in their interaction that speaks of a familiarity borne from their equal status and years of friendship. i know merlin’s friends in camelot tend to skew to the non-royal/non-noble, but when you tally it up, those closest to merlin often hold some title that’s greater than merlin’s role as arthur’s servant. gwaine is a knight implied to be of noble blood; lancelot, percival, and elyan are also knighted and esteemed members of arthur’s court; gwen is the lady morgana’s maid and close companion long before she is ever queen; gaius is a physician and long time member of camelot’s court; morgana before her betrayal is literally uther’s ward. i feel like when placed among them all, merlin has a tendency to fade into the background offscreen. obviously the audience knows how important merlin is to the overall story given how much of the storyline focuses on him, and the characters regularly acknowledge merlin’s importance to them or arthur, but all of them still regard merlin as merlin the servant from camelot and few of them are privy to the plots we as the audience see firsthand. and even when they acknowledge him for his merits, his role as arthur’s close friend and confidante takes precedence. look at leon’s reaction in the later seasons when merlin is bewitched by morgana. merlin literally makes a comment about plotting to kill arthur and leon barely even blinks before quipping back, “driving you mad isn’t he?” or something along those lines. except for a few instances with even fewer characters, they never get a chance to know him as merlin the sorcerer from ealdor.

will does! and more than that, he got to know merlin as he is without arthur. we all hype up their status as magical soulmates but damn if i wasnt living for how jealous of arthur will seemed to be in this episode. call me crazy, but it makes me desperately headcanon a realistic past in ealdor for merlin, full of hardship and strife, but never without it’s moments of happiness. furthermore, will’s lone appearance in season one shines some real light on the unfairness of the fate that has been bestowed on meelin. the moment that will points out why he’s been so obstinate with arthur really strikes a deep chord. sure it could be just jealousy, but more compellingly, i choose to read it as a deep sense of care for merlin. everyone merlin has met within camelot, (or reunited with in the case of his own mother) has continually pushed him closer and closer to arthur. will presents a crucial exception. he knows exactly who merlin was before camelot, and who merlin is completely separate from arthur.

will is staunchly in merlin’s corner, and that position allows him to identify a key characteristic of merlin’s series’ long arc: his complete devotion to arthur. will even points it out himself: merlin could singlehandedly defend their home if he just used the full extent of his power. merlin doesn’t, and actively chooses not to because of his desire to stay close to arthur. it’s such a small moment, but i think it demonstrates how much of merlin’s decisions become motivated by his desire to stay close to arthur and to always put arthur first, even at a detrimental cost to himself. merlin understands and readily accepts arthur as his destiny, but this acceptance does not come about independently, instantly, or of merlin’s own volition. it does so eventually, but initially merlin sticks by arthur’s side because of the encouragement of everyone around him. “arthur needs you, merlin” or “arthur is your destiny, merlin” or “arthur is a good man, merlin. he has the potential to be a great king, he just needs the right people, merlin.” its codependent as hell.

sure, merlin originally does not tell arthur about his magic because they do not know each other and as far as merlin knows revealing his magic would lead to his death, but eventually the reasoning changes and becomes so focused on doing what’s best for arthur. merlin can’t tell arthur because then arthur would have to kill him and then who would look after arthur or ensure his fate? merlin can’t tell arthur because if arthur chooses to defy uther’s law, merlin is then forcing arthur to turn against his father and how could he look after arthur then? merlin can’t tell arthur because another betrayal from magic would ruin everything and truthfully, he wonders how would arthur react? merlin comes to fear what his magic might do to arthur and what it’s reveal might mean for his place in camelot more than the laws of camelot and their verdicts.

by this logic, merlin is a magical solar system orbiting entirely around the celestial body known as arthur pendragon. eventually merlin cared more about his relationship with arthur and what arthur thought about him than his own life. in retrospect, it’s so sad that will died so early on, because it strips merlin of a person solely in his corner. will’s death is the first in the series’ long pattern of loss that merlin endures and that eventually comes to define him because people either find out about his magic and their knowledge is directly tested against his loyalty to arthur, or he cannot allow them to know about his magic because it will unravel his relationship with arthur.

will, freya, balinor, morgana, mordred, arthur.

also the fact that will covered for merlin’s use of magic in his last moments just adds to the tragedy AND the growing pile of moments merlin could have told arthur about his magic but didnt. and also the fact that will literally died to save arthur. like tell me that just doesn’t prove my point. tell me. will never stood a chance. tell me every aspect of merlin’s life does not get consumed by arthur pendragon.

i’m all for merthur being soulmates, but god the original series is rife with the unbalanced mess of merlin being wholeheartedly aware of arthur’s great potential and destiny leading to some intense devotion and faith that yes, arthur earns and pays back in full measure but can never fully reciprocate because he just does not know anything. by the triple goddess, it can get so toxic. i wish will had lived if just for that. and like the jealousy arthur gets whenever merlin has other people. because i 100% live for possessive arthur and protective merlin dynamics.

[rayday-mayday]

I know this will probably be a pretty niche acceptance/positivity post, but for for the people who are minorities and fetishize/sexualize that part of themselves: You aren't a "bad example" for doing so.

Being a minority can be really traumatizing, and the trauma and abuse we endure can often go overlooked or be minimized. It isn't wrong for you to react to that trauma in a way where you attempt to take control back of your identity, even if that control takes the form of a sexual coping mechanism.

Personally, me being misgendered for 4 to 5 years fucked with my head a lot, and while that doesn't sound "that bad" to most since they've never endured that type of pain, it basically meant the people around me was ignoring and denying me my identity for pretty much my entire teen life which were already fucked over by other factors.

While I won't go into too much detail, all those years of having such an integral part of me denied ( especially during such formative years of my life ) lead to me developing a forced feminization kink as a trans man.

At times it can trigger my dysphoria, I have to be careful participating in it, and do my best to not oversexualize myself too much, but either way, I'm not bad for that happening to me nor am I bad for having the kink. Similarly, you're also not bad for it, no matter what your story looks like, nor how your kink manifested.

Even without any explicit trauma like that, being a minority that's just existing can be inherently traumatizing and scary as fuck. I mean, why wouldn't it be when the world around you is hostile towards you, be it overtly or covertly, simply for existing?

While I know you can also be into this type of stuff without having trauma like this, ( which is also just as valid, ) I've just never see anyone talk about this type of stuff in the sense of it developing from trauma, so I wanted to make a post like this in case anyone out there can relate and needs to hear this.

Cuz if I'm completely honest? It's kinda lonely and isolating to go through this type of stuff, due to how taboo it is to fx. be a trans person that fetishizes themselves. People can make you feel shameful for developing a kink like this, or for simply fetishizing yourself at all, since it can make those mentioned people label you as a "bad [insert whatever minority here]"

Just remember to pace yourself, know your limits before it starts to harm your mental health, and remember that at the end of the day you're more than just a sexual object; you're a person that deserves respect, love, and acceptance.

Even if you can't do any of those things just yet for whatever reasons, I'm sure you can work towards partaking in the kink you have in a healthy way eventually. I believe in you.

[theeoriginals]

ok but what about werewolf!reader who is protective over tyler lockwood since mason died, and she's at senior prank night when klaus turns tyler. i imagine klaus being curious about her bc he hasn't seen or met her since she doesn't hang around elena & co. bc of what they did to mason. love u and thank you for blessing us with all these requests!!

i think i want you | klaus mikaelson

klaus mikaelson x reader (no y/n!)

author's notes; sorry this took a while!! holidays got the best of me and i've been so busy. i hope u like this!! go check out my klaus fic on wattpad for more content :) link on my masterlist

warnings; mentioned violence & death but nothing explicit. this is genuinely just a lot of fluff, and only a tiny bit of angst. I like writing klaus being straight up infatuated so enjoy

She’s heard of him. Klaus Mikaelson. Not only is he an Original, but he’s the worst of them. He’s a mystery, a myth of a man. The hybrid. The only one of his kind, and he’s trying to make more. He’s trying to become a god of his own making. He’s a terrifying beast, even in their world of monsters. He is the monster beneath your bed, he is the boogeyman that you see in the shadows of alleyways and glimpses out of the corner of your eye.

When she meets him for the first time, she expects something out of a fairytale, she supposes. It was unintentional, the image of him she had in her head, but she’s heard of this fabled man her whole life as a warning of what can happen if you grow lonely in this life. 

She figured if she ever met Klaus Mikaelson, it’d be the first and only time. There weren’t many stories based on people’s personal interactions with him for a reason. If he bothered to pay you a personal visit and not just send one of his cronies out to deal with you, it probably meant you wouldn’t be seeing another day. 

But instead of that, instead of meeting her demise at the hand of the infamous man for some offense she most likely didn’t even mean to do, she meets him in the high school gym in Mystic Falls, Virginia. 

She meets him, and he’s just a man. 

He’s a terrible man, no doubt, but just a man. She is perhaps wrongfully unafraid of him because of this. It most likely doesn’t bode well for her, because even though he looks just as human as the rest of them, she doesn’t doubt those stories about him are all real, and likely worse than the retellings. 

But she was raised with a pack that taught her to be unafraid in the face of death, and even though she doesn’t have that pack anymore because of men just like Klaus Mikaelson, she wants Tyler to know the security and safety of it just as she had. 

She does not flinch when he looks her way, and resists the urge to rip his head off of his shoulders when he snaps Tyler’s neck and puts Bonnie on a timer for finding a way to bring him back to life as a hybrid. 

She knows she can’t win a fight against him, so she doesn’t fight back, not even as he forces Tyler to drink the doppelgänger’s blood and turns him into a hybrid. A half-dead, half-wolf thing that her pack would likely call him an abomination for. It’s a very dark, comforting thought to her that they aren’t around to condemn Tyler to the ends of the earth for something that was entirely out of his control. 

She knows Tyler is frightened of her doing that, just by the way he looks at her. He learned from Mason and herself that there’s a sense of loyalty to their kind, and that vampires are an inherent enemy. Even his relationship with Caroline would be enough to get him shunned from most werewolf communities at this point. Though, even Mason himself didn’t take that into consideration considering his relationship with one of the doppelgängers. 

After everything is said and done that night, she takes Tyler home without saying a single word to Klaus. Anything she wants to say will get her killed, and Tyler needs her more than ever now, so she can’t get ahead of herself. 

Tyler sheds rare tears in the privacy of his home. He tells her he’s terrified right now because of the fact that a part of him is technically dead now, and that he’s never felt like a monster about being a werewolf until now. 

She does her best to comfort him, but it doesn’t help much. She doesn’t know what he’s feeling right now and they both know it. If the circumstances were any different, she’d probably think he was the new enemy. 

He falls asleep eventually and she leaves him be, heading to her temporary room in the Lockwood mansion. She falls asleep looking at the moon just outside her window, thinking about how she was just a little disappointed in the fact that Klaus Mikaelson is just a man. 

────── 

The next time she sees Klaus Mikaelson, it’s in the tea room in the Lockwood house. He somehow looks even more underwhelming in this place, despite its grandiosity. She doesn’t know why or when she’s going to stop feeling so disappointed in the fact that if she didn’t know any better, she could’ve walked past him on the street without even looking his way. 

He’s there for Tyler, she knows, but Carol’s playing her role of oblivious hostess, and now she’s left to entertain him while Carol goes and handles a small, mayoral emergency. 

Carol leaves them with a charming smile, winking her direction, and she ignores the older woman pointedly. 

“I don’t think I got your name the other night at the school,” Klaus says, tilting his head as he looks at her. “I’m not usually so rude, but the stakes were high and I ran out of patience. You know how it is.” 

She narrows her eyes, shaking her head a bit. “A thousand years old and you haven’t worked on your patience? Maybe your priorities are a little skewed,” 

Klaus’s eyes flash with danger, but she swears she sees amusement in the smirk that pulls at his lips. It sparks that flint inside of her that likes to push and push, just to see the breaking point. She’d tried to deny it, but it only takes the smallest moment for that desire to set its sights on Klaus Mikaelson, even though pushing him could mean death. Her curiosity was a fatal flaw in itself, she knows.

“My only goal in life has been to break this curse,” He says, leaning forward to sit the cup of tea Carol had brought him on the table in between them, the only obstacle stopping him from lunging for her and snapping her neck before she could even blink. She wonders if he’s even aware of all the ways he could kill her, just by looking at her in this mundane setting. She doesn’t know if she actually wants an answer to that, though. “And now I’ve done that. I think a thousand years of this has proven I have nothing but patience.” 

She hums, acknowledging the fact that he was right. She couldn’t imagine being in his shoes, waiting a thousand years to break a curse that kept you from being who you are. Even now, knowing that the Sun and the Moon curse was fabricated in order to help Klaus break the only curse– his curse– when it comes down to it, she can’t blame him for his insistence. 

But she thinks about Tyler and how frightened he was, and she can’t stop the annoyance that builds in her all over again, so any bit of understanding washes away like sand beneath the rising tides. 

She shrugs, unwilling to vocalize the depth of her understanding, as miniscule as it may be. “Still, choosing a hormonal teenage boy as your first hybrid probably wasn’t the smartest decision, wouldn’t you say?” 

Klaus narrows his eyes at her and she stubbornly sits still, unwavering beneath his prolonged, burning stare. “You’re protective of him. I understand why you wouldn’t like me. But I’ve just made him the strongest creature he could ever be. He won’t need you, or any other pack he might have been clinging to before this.” 

And this, she thinks, is the biggest indicator to why she’s not properly afraid of this man before her. It’s not just because he looks unfortunately normal, spare his admittedly beautiful face, or that he’s yet to truly focus any of his true capabilities of danger in her direction. It’s that, at the end of the day, Klaus Mikaelson is just as human as the rest of them are. Because no matter how long you live, or what kind of creature you are, everyone gets lonely. 

“On the contrary,” She says, blinking slowly as she scans his face. “Tyler needs me now more than ever. And any pack would be lucky to have him around. That’s the whole point of a pack. You know that you’re never alone, no matter what happens.” 

To a degree, she knows that’s a lie. There are plenty of packs out there that will banish Tyler and any other hybrid that is made in the coming months because of the rivalry between the creatures that the hybrids are made of. But she also knows that for every pack that will turn them away, there’s one that won’t. There’s always someone, even if it’s just one person, and she’s willing to be that person for Tyler, or for any other hybrid that goes through the loss of their pack. 

“It’s a shame you’ve never known what that’s like,” She says, leaning forward to set her own cup of tea down, a mirror of his actions a moment ago. “Unwavering loyalty and trust, and a sense of family that never goes away. You may think that Tyler has no one, but I will always be here for him, just as I was his uncle.” 

Something defensive passes through his face and he stands abruptly, making her tilt her head back to maintain eye contact with him. 

Klaus leans down into her space, and they glare at each other with a surprising amount of vitriol that neither one of them feels is even genuine. 

“You can cling to your idea of family all you want, but it won’t change the fact that Tyler isn’t just a werewolf anymore. And as much as you may want to deny it, you can’t help him anymore just like you couldn’t help his poor uncle,”

He stands upright again, looking at her almost accusingly. “But since it’s causing no harm to me, I suppose there’s no real reason to make you give up this desperate mission. I wish you the best of luck, dear, truly,” 

He doesn’t wait for a response from her before he leaves, and after her initial anger and embarrassment wears off, she realizes he never even talked to Tyler like she assumed he came here to do in the first place. 

────── 

Mystic Falls has never felt like a smaller town. She’s never run into someone so many times when all she wants to do is avoid them. 

It’s like all of the sudden, since that very first night she saw Klaus Mikaelson, he’s everywhere. He’s in Tyler’s house, because the newly-made hybrid suddenly worships him. He’s in her dreams. She can’t escape him. 

Even now, sitting in a corner booth at the Mystic Grill, he’s suddenly there, sitting across from her like an old friend catching up for lunch. 

Immediately, her face twists in disgust. “Klaus.” 

He smiles in the face of her adversity, and says her name with a fondness of unknown origins. She almost feels insane, looking at him with any degree of civility. 

“What do I owe this visit to?” 

“I’m curious about something and I’m hoping you’ll humor me,” 

“Interesting start,” She huffs, taking a sip of her drink beside her. “What on earth could you possibly be curious enough about that you have to ask me?” 

“You, of course,” 

She swallows roughly, nearly choking as she looks at him in surprise. “Me?” 

The hybrid nods, smirking at her reaction. 

“What… What do you want to know about me?” 

He leans forward on the table, looking at her as she suddenly avoids his eyes, unwilling to admit that she’s feeling heat rise in her chest. “Why is it you aren’t banding together with those bumbling idiots to get rid of me, hm?” 

“Oh,” She breathes out, face turning solemn for a moment as she looks down at the tabletop. “I don’t– I don’t have any reason to want to get rid of you, really. I don’t necessarily like you, but you haven’t hurt Tyler in any permanent way so… I guess I’m just not really worried about it.” 

When she finally meets Klaus’s gaze again, there’s something shocked and unexpectedly warm in his blue eyes that makes her own soften. 

“Is it really that simple?” 

She falls silent for another moment, picking nonsensically at her nails. “They killed my friend.” 

She looks back up at him, sighing. “Mason Lockwood. Tyler’s uncle. He came here because of Katherine– she was looking for the moonstone so she could break that stupid curse that you made up. And they killed him for it,” She shakes her head, anger seeping into her voice. “They’re irrational. And if I’ve learned anything about this life, it’s that being irrational gets people killed.” 

Klaus hums lowly. “You are right about that.” 

Heaving a heavy sigh, she looks up at him, eyes wide and pleading. “What do you want from me, Klaus? I’m not picking sides here– I’m going to protect Tyler until it kills me, and that’s all. So what do you want from me?” 

He observes her for a moment and she doesn’t falter beneath his stare, if only out of spite. 

“Perhaps,” He starts. “I just want to know you.” 

Something fragile breaks on her face and she shows just a little bit more of that vulnerability to him in this new space between them. “What’s so interesting about me that Klaus Mikaelson wants to know me?” 

His eyes search her face, lost. “I don’t know yet. I’m hoping you’ll let me find out,” 

She lets out a breath, quiet, and admittedly flattered. 

A smile pulls at her lips, bashful in a way she isn’t used to. She allows it to spread across her face and beneath Klaus’s gaze, she feels like a blooming rose being adored. It makes her feel things she’s nowhere near ready to admit to herself, or anyone else. “I think we can work something out.” 

Klaus’s returning smile takes her breath away. It feels new, and wonderful. 

[nightcolorz]

ok armand's backstory is super tragic in the books but the show makes it even more devastating with The Implications. imagine marius leaving armand (his slave who he abused ever since he was a child) for the Evil Satan Cult and instead turning bianca (white rich woman)and choosing her as his new companion. makes me sick insane etc

OH MY GOD YES IM ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS!!! In the books Armand is also technically Marius’s slave, but the way it’s portrayed from Armand’s perspective encourages u to forget about that. But the way the show highlights how Armand was a slave and shows how it influences the way Marius treated him annnndddd made Armand a person of color adds such a disturbing layer to an already disturbing dynamic. (Which i love lol)

I loooveee that u brought up Bianca bcus the whole dynamic with Bianca is sooo fucked up and no one ever talks about it. In blood and gold Marius explains that he was lonely and wanted a vampire companion, who he originally wanted to be Bianca, but he felt super mf guilty about this bcus Bianca is a young well off bright white girl and by turning her into a vampire and taking her for himself he’d be depriving her of her chance at a prosperous life and humanity. And the way Marius gets over angsting about how badly he wants Bianca but how he can’t take her cuz it’d be fucked is by BUYING ARMAND!! Marius buys Armand bcus he considers him *less of a person* than Bianca and therefor someone he can use and abuse without any guilt. So now that Armand is a person of color, that dynamic It’s basically like, “I can’t harm this sweet white girl even tho i want to so bad, that would be horrible!!! Wait, Oh my god yay!!! A brown boy <3 I can do as many terrible things that I want to him because he isn’t human to me <3” like holy shit that is sickening. And it’s such a nail on the coffin how once Marius decides to discard Armand bcus he’s not worth saving to him he immediately turns Bianca and decides that she’s his companion now, like oh my god.

making Armand a person of color was honestly one of my favorite (if not my fav) change that amc made with the characters. In the books Armand is always portrayed as having this ambiguous social oppressor that causes him to be seen as less then human or less worthy of inherent respect + dignity as other ppl, especially in his human lifetime, and it is so prevailing throughout his life that Armand is used to being treated like he’s nothing, so Armand being a person of color just makes sense to me. Not only that, but his entire backstory where there is so much emotional weight put on how Armand was stripped of his cultural identity and his birth name and his connection to religion by being sold into slavery so he’s lost the ability to understand who he is ?!?!? Like it’s kind of insane to me sometimes that all of the aspects of Armand’s backstory in the show that are very much racial trauma happened the exact same way in the books 😭. It makes a little too much sense lol

thank u sm for the ask I love angsting about Armand’s backstory more then anything!!!! ❤️❤️

[littleplantfreak]

Currently Seeking: A Soul Connection

Grim Reaper Hiragi x Reader Cw: mentions of death and...stomach issues? that's pretty much it Word Count: 800ish Hiragi's having a tough time getting your soul, but in the end neither of you really mind that. Kinda based on the game A Date with Death because I kept thinking about Ragi's halloween costume.

“We can’t keep doing this.” The voice grumbles from inside the bathroom. You’re sitting back against the door as you listen to him writhe in anxious agony. The pills you always give him work, just not immediately. 

“I keep winning fair and square,” and the smile in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Sweat drips down his brow as he wonders how you could’ve won a game he rigged against you in the first place, though this certainly isn’t the first time you’ve sweet talked your way into him letting you play for your life. “I even let you choose the game this time, Toma!”

He doesn’t really have a choice, does he? Your ability to keep yourself alive is inherent and nebulous, marring his perfect track record as a grim reaper. It hurts both his stomach and his pride that you’re still on earth and not where your soul should be, at least according to the paperwork. 

“As much as I enjoy our chats, please shut up. You aren’t helping my nerves.”

“You like my voice,” and he hears that little amused scoff you do sometimes. “In fact, I bet you’re totally soothed listening to me right now.”

“Yeah, every time I think you’re done talking it does tend to get better.”

“Rude bastards don’t get the porridge I’m cooking on the stove,” you call back, getting up to check on it. The only reason you make it is because he can’t stomach anything else when he gets like this, though why you’re going along with him and playing friends is beyond you. He grumbles and complains about how much he’d prefer you just give your soul up, but in about two minutes he’ll be out of the bathroom and sitting on your couch while you cue up whatever’s next in your watchlist on the TV. 

Maybe it’s because he cares without saying it, or maybe you’re just lonely and this is the easiest relationship you’ve ever had to put effort into, but regardless you’re really starting to enjoy him being here. 

Sometimes you’ll fall asleep watching a movie with him only to find yourself in your bed, no recollection of being carried. Other times when his stomach is at its worst, you’ll be swaddled on the couch, your favorite stuffed animal sitting next to you as if to comfort you in your now quiet house. 

“Why don’t you just…take it?” You asked the question one day, curious since as far as you know he can just reap you whenever he wants.

“You’re not willing to give it up. It’d be worse for your soul in the long run if it was taken against your will. It’d be different if your body died, but to just take it as you are now could tear it in a way that’d make you unable to pass on, or worse.” His matter of fact tone recited it as if it’d been ingrained in him from birth, which according to him it has. 

Now, the bathroom door opens, Toma’s face slightly less pale. His bowl sits on the side table with extra pills on a napkin next to it and a glass of water that he never asked for but takes gratefully. He’d never say it out loud, but maybe he’s not as bothered as he should be that you’re still alive, despite the constant stomach issues the stress brings.

The movie nights, the way you stretch your legs over his lap while you tell him about your day and the shitty people at work…even the way you tease him for slacking on the job after he loses yet another round of checkers or when the car that was supposed to hit you ends up braking right at the last minute. Even those moments seem to fill him with feelings he’s not used to. Bewilderment, slight concern, and something else that someone who wasn’t in his position would describe as fondness end up bubbling to the surface of his chest. 

Your soul needs to move on eventually, but for now he’ll secretly enjoy these small respites where you both forget that fact. No one but him knows about the small smile that makes its way to his face when your head slumps on his shoulder yet again. Your warmth soaks into his skin reminding him of the warmth of the porridge from earlier. 

It’s only polite for him to make sure you get to your bed. In fact, he could go so far as to say it’s necessary for the eventual completion of collecting your soul. Not because he’s concerned about your sore muscles, and definitely not because he loves the way your cheek rubs against his chest when he’s carrying you. 

Of course not. 

Later he’ll put in an extension on the paperwork for collecting you, citing various vague reasons for the delay and then he’ll wonder what’s going to happen on the next episode of Succession. He can only guess at how you’ll try to psychoanalyze the characters and how you’ll react to the spoiler he read on his phone earlier. Until then he sits on the edge of your bed while your cat kneads against his thigh, your soft breaths filling the room with a kind of warmth only you can bring.

[vechter]

Top 5 Dick and Bruce moments or things

it's gotta be what faith tells dick in JLA (1997) #73

just the implications of it all. how bruce recognizes he hurts people, whether its criminals or the people who have chosen to love him. but still. still. he is immensely and immeasurably proud of dick. he can never say it, he wouldn't know how to even begin to tell dick how much dick means to him. also the crazy thing- we all know dick is insane about bruce and how endlessly devoted he is to him. but bruce is equally insane about him in his own neurotic way. he puts dick on a pedestal (he is right to) but just how fucked up of him. bonus scene from the obsidian run (#76) that always makes me grin:

2. this one is from robin: year one (2000) #4

so bruce fired dick after two face nearly beat him to death with a bat and dick ran away and managed to end up joining a league of assassins vengeance school under this dude named shrike. i won't bore you with even more plot but something about this panel just kills me. they're both so lonely and desperate for each other's partnership. bruce knows he miscalculated firing dick even if it was for dick's safety- dick isn't going to stop being a vigilante just bc batman said so (bruce u fucking idiot) and i think this instance of firing, while glossed over later in favour of the whole two-face of it all did sth that changed their dynamic fundamentally and irrevocably. it is probably the catapult for all of dick's future doubts and insecurities about his role and place in bruce's life. meanwhile, bruce giving dick agency in what he wants to do next- he needs dick just as much as dick needs robin. it's incredibly sad because i think there is a part of bruce that believes dick is only coming back to be robin, a doubt furthered when dick eventually forms the titans and loses all semblance of a life outside the mask.

3. this one is from outsiders: five of a kind - nightwing/boomerang (2007)

basically, dick decided to hand over the outsiders to batman and this is owen boomerang, the son of the guy who killed tim's dad. this is post-adoption so dick is more secure in his role as bruce's son. and just sth about how dick won't stand for people criticizing bruce, even when he might be thinking unfavourably of bruce. bc he can do that. but other people? no dice. also the added angst from owen talking about his own dad and his own version of legacy. i like to think dick probably felt some type of way about owen yelling out 'he was my father' bc while dick probably hasn't ever verbalized that, he has probably felt similarly.

4. batman (1940) #636

bruce brooding over the past. little does he know his second son is back and ready to haunt him literally instead of metaphorically lol. but anyway, this always makes me froth at the mouth. both bruce and dick have a tendency to look back on those years very, very positively and something about how nostalgia warps your memories but also how much of it is nostalgia and how much is truth? bruce is forever living in the past. @nighhtwing summarizes one of bruce's core truths in their fic Hereditary beautifully: Bruce has lived with grief longer than he’s lived without. It’s easy, then, to mourn this moment even as it’s in front of him, alive.

5. basically all of the comic batman/nightwing: bloodborne (2002). one of the most stellar pieces of bruce and dick writing. the art's a little funky but the story is fantastic. the devotion dick has. it's debilitating, it could kill him. it should have (thinking about the blast dick took for bruce in infinite crisis and how it was supposed to have killed him). the same toxin and anti-toxin runs through their veins. something about the intimacy and inherent religious imagery and nature of sharing blood. but it isn't even a cursory thought to dick. of course he will put himself in death's way if it means being able to save bruce. dick's biggest fear: being unable to save bruce like bruce saved him all those years ago. the way it all takes place on the anniversary of his parents' death. fantastic, killer, devastating show-stopping even.

[lxmelle]

I think it’s safe to say both Gojo and Geto had a problem opening their hearts after they separated. Like an emotional scar they never resolved.

It’s kinda Husband & Wife-coded imho. (Husband&Husband, Wife&Wife, whatever - you get my drift).

Geto at his death asked about his family. He wasn’t concerned about how they’d mourn for him or considered if they’d want him saved, etc. Like the scrolls adorning the back of the temple, he didn’t view himself to be much if he couldn’t be strong - punishment to the weak and foolish.

Gojo upon the lead up to the battle seemed to believe he would win either way (aligned with what he told Megumi) and that wasn’t bothered with his body - but he admittedly did feel annoyed that his longest living friend, Shoko, wasn’t upset on his behalf. (I HC that I think he understood that there was no other person who had love for him like with Geto.)

Spoilers for 261:

Given the circumstances, Shoko also had to do what was necessary to support him, regardless of her feelings towards the request. She has always been respectful of boundaries I think. More avoidant with her feelings (remaining stoic) rather than ambivalent. She is a medic after all... you have to put aside your personal feelings.

To some extent both Gojo and Geto it difficult to regard themselves as worthy of loving and genuine care. People may have cared like Geto’s family etc. but the problem lies in their ability to recognise and reciprocate it. He felt alone and couldn’t smile sincerely in his life. It was easier for him to give love than to receive it.

Gojo had a few students who did, but they perhaps came at a time too late (it was mere months after Geto died?) where he didn’t have the time to actually open up his heart too much in the end... before he was sealed, and then had to make the decision to enter the battle. Fortunately, by that time, he didn’t feel lonely anymore as he said in ch236 after death, but there was certainly a line where he didn’t feel he could be understood by others. He was born too different, perhaps? His pragmatic and callous facade made it difficult for others to get close enough to see the real Gojo Satoru. A part of it was about unparalleled strength. The magnitude of it. It wasn’t something Sukuna understood either, since he never knew love and lost it.

We can see that Gojo held different standards for Geto than he did himself though. In the anime many speculated that he was bringing the bouquet for Geto’s grave (or something similar). He must’ve given his body back to Mikiko and Nanako (or hidden it) because he didn’t have it processed & cremated by Shoko, (which would’ve been completely adhering to the orders of the institution). He also wanted to reclaim it for a proper burial from Kenjaku.

This feels so much like a husband & wife thing.

Widowed Husband goes: “Ah, just toss my ashes in the river.” But will get his wife flowers for her grave, ensure she has a clean gravestone, no weeds growing on her plot, leaves a plate out during anniversaries, etc.

Gojo’s love for Geto is also very Yang-coded (which is inherently more male) where he will cling on unwaveringly and there is something about reverence in how he patiently accepts Geto and tried to fulfil everything he wanted. In this sense, where he is portrayed as a loyal widower, he may surround himself with friends, activities, look after the kids, etc. but he will always honour and cherish his wife until his dying day.

Geto who is Yin-coded loves maternally, self-sacrificially. She will be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of her kin. Even if separated from her husband, she will nurture and build a family around her, uncomplaining. She may appear to cope on the surface, as she is used to her emotional needs being unmet without her partner/Husband, until her own dying day.

This is totally anecdotal of course, but to give myself some credit, I’ve talked intimately with more than my fair share of people in grief to see a pattern (and understand it in a personal level too)... we all grieve differently, love differently, value different things...

This is just my two cents. Any thoughts?

Feel free to comment or reblog with your own take.

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

i analyzed the songs that gege akutami assigned to the first year trio and i how i think they relate to their characters

for the record, we are talking about the songs that gege had said he thinks would be the theme songs for each member of the trio (like island in the sun for megumi)

this was a 20 page document in word, hope you enjoy more of my ramblings...

YUJI’S SONG 1: HEART NI HI WO TSUKETE by 9MM PARABELLUM BULLET

I think what really makes Yuji’s song so beautiful is the way that it highlights two people trying to heal and overcome some sort of trauma. They are wondering if they will be able to fight through and it keep fighting while finding comfort in each other.

The narrator is addressing someone in pain who makes a lot of self-destructive decisions. This is inherently interesting because we know that Megumi has a tendency to look down on himself and not see the value in his life. This is especially true in the manga and specifically in the chapter where Yuji tries to communicate with Megumi, but Megumi tells him that he gives up.

But the narrator is in just as much pain. They are HURTING and they cannot bear it alone. THIS IS SUPER INTERESTING BECAUSE OF CHAPTER 266 WHERE YUJI TELLS MEGUMI “It’s lonely without you, Fushiguro”!!!! Mind you, this was chosen as his song be Gege a longgg time ago.

In this part of the song, we see that the narrator and the person they are speaking to have found a comfort in each other, but it also leaves them feeling a bit empty. Neither of them have fully healed yet and they are far from that path in the light that they are trying so desperately to get to. But the narrator still cannot stand being alone. While this isn’t necessarily related to Yuji or Megumi, it still parallels Yuji’s desire for companionship after everything that has happened and what he has gone through.

This is the end of the song, and it’s especially interesting because we’re seeing repeat themes with the “don’t turn to ashes” and themes of burning and fire. Fire in media can represent a lot of things, but in this song I think it’s meant to represent purging. The narrator is begging this person to please keep going, please keep standing by their side, don’t let your trauma consume you.

And then there’s this last line, a question of whether or not the narrator and the unknown person will be able to find love and comfort in each other, or will their pain consume them and burn them from the inside out. We know that JJK touches a lot on themes of love, romantic and platonic arguments being set aside right now. This last line ties in directly with that theme while also calling back to the pain that these two people are feeling.

YUJI’S SONG 2: ITSUKA DOKOKA DE by KUCHIRORO

I actually had first discovered the wrong song with the same name and realized that the song that’s meant to be Yuji’s is like 13 minutes long. I will not include the lyrics, but I will highlight and quote the ones that I find tie in with Yuji’s character. This song also switches from first to third POV. In this analysis, I am only addressing the first person POV.

This song overall seems to be a sort of conversation that the narrator is having with an unknown person. There is mentions of belief, love, and a desire for a simple, mundane life. There is also a lot of counting in this song, having to do with time and time running out or time flying by.  

Wow this is going to be very hard, I am struggling with Google Translate here. From what I am picking up, it seems that the narrator wishes for love, but isn’t sure what that looks like, all the while they feel that time is running out. I think with Yuji, this could relate to his character in that he wants to surround himself with good people, people that he loves and people who love him, but he feels like he doesn’t have time. This is most likely in part due to his execution.

In this part, it seems that the narrator is putting a lot of pressure on themselves, as they struggle to do their best. Yuji is constantly in a state of growth ever since the beginning of the series where he says that he wants to get stronger, especially after the detention center. “I met someone who was doing it” may even be hinting at Megumi or someone else that Yuji heavily admires. Skipping over the third POV stuff, these lyrics also hint that the narrator just wants to live a mundane life, maybe even with someone as the “I’m thinking of you, you dream of me” lyric.

The narrator is alone at night and we see a lot of references to time and its passage. “Am I moving forward?” The narrator feels stuck, lost in their thoughts and the only thing that grounds them is the thought of seeing someone soon and every single day after that. While this isn’t exactly related to Yuji, I think it’s interesting to note their worry about time running out and the only thing that is keeping them from spiraling is companionship.

MEGUMI’S SONG 1: HAKUJITSUMU by UCHUJIN

In this song, the narrator not only speaks about wanting to save someone, but also battling with their own internal struggles as they try to navigate their trauma. This is really cool because it can be applied to Megumi’s relationship with Yuji and his relationship with Tsumiki—both being people that Megumi has compared time and time again.

These lyrics immediately make me think of Megumi’s relationship with Tsumiki. We see him admire the goodness in her throughout the series and he’s often remembering her with a smile. Not to mention “there’s always an exit somewhere” which reminds me of his revealed desire to create a life away from jujutsu sorcerer where Tsumiki isn’t threatened by the dangers of his word. Or, comparatively, this could also apply to Yuji and their first time saving each other. Megumi decides that he is worth saving and is willing to go against his rules and morals to do so.

Here we see the narrator’s internal struggles and their own discomfort with themselves. This is related to Megumi as we see that he struggles with his self-worth and seeing the value in his life.

These lyrics first made me think that the narrator was giving up and giving into hopelessness, but upon reading it further, I think that this is actually where we start to see a push back. There’s a fight that’s coming through and leading up to the rest of the song, which we can see with “you are no longer inside me.” In my mind, this is being said to Sukuna by Megumi.

The finale of this song is a final banishment and an honest “screw you” to the darkness that is plaguing the narrator. This was first touched on in the second and third paragraphs (stanzas?) and we see now that the narrator has finally overcome it and does not want anything more to do with it. This could be directly related Megumi’s internal struggles with his own value that he’s placed upon himself or with Sukuna. You decide.

MEGUMI’S SONG 2: ISLAND IN THE SUN by WEEZER

This one is probably the most analyzed that I’ve seen since it’s in English and is a somewhat well-known song. This song is about a narrator and their desire to run away with someone and live a peaceful life, away from their troubles so they will “never feel bad anymore.” I think once again, this is so applicable to both Tsumiki and with Yuji, ESPECIALLY after 266.

The narrator’s desire to better understand the person they’re addressing, along with their thoughts and feelings, is really interesting to me because we see that Megumi doesn’t quite understand his sister or Yuji. He respects and admires them and appreciates their ability to see the goodness in the world, but he has such contrasting views that he just doesn’t get it. We see him even refer to Yuji’s ideas as naïve. But there’s a desire to learn and understand.

Then there’s the obvious chorus bit with a desire to live a peaceful life, one where they are together and that’s the only happiness Megumi could ask for. I will not be including the chorus after this point, since it’s pretty repetitive.

In this section of the song, we see the narrator pointing out how the person they’re referring to has little wants or needs. They have a desire to just be, as if all they need is a place to belong. This section here is what makes me think of Yuji the most.

Going back to my overall analysis, this song really is just a desire for a normal, peaceful, and happy life. One where the narrator (Megumi) and the person (Tsumiki or Yuji [or both]) they’re talking to are just able to live their life. We see in 266 that all Megumi wanted for his sister was for her to just be able to live. We also see that Yuji is the only person that he thinks truly deserves to stand alongside them.

NOBARA’S SONG 1: SEISHUN KYOSOKYOKU by SUNNY DAY SERVICE

The first song for Nobara’s selection reminds me heavily of her flashbacks with her friend in her hometown. This song is all about the desire to catch up with an old friend (maybe a lover? But we’ll say friend because as far as we know, Nobara’s relationship with her friend was strictly platonic), reminiscent of a connection that they used to have.

In this initial set up, we see how this person is feeling lonely and heartbroken. Immediately followed by “What about you? Are you doing well?”, we see that the narrator is going about their day and desires to know about this unnamed person. There’s a feeling there that they haven’t spoken in a while. There’s a desire to know what they’re up to now, what is life like for you, what funny stories do you know?

Similarly, we know that Nobara never got a chance to see Saori again after leaving for Tokyo. We know that she looks back on that time fondly, and even from Saori’s POV, we see that Nobara only cried twice in front of her—once when Fumi moved away and again later when Nobara moved away.

There’s a sense of hopelessness that you sense from the lyrics here as it seems like the narrator is only able to speculate about the person because they feel they may never meet again. There’s this desire to know how they are doing, but they are in a situation where they won’t get to know, hence “there’s nothing I can do about it.”

We know that Nobara never really wanted to go home, but she did extend an olive branch to Saori by telling her that they should all meet up in Tokyo one day. But we know with how the events of the story took place, them meeting again is unlikely.

However, there’s still a sense of hope within the narrator as they think about what their conversation would be like should they ever meet again. This is interesting since we know that Nobara thought of Saori in her last moments and we see that imagery with Saori sitting in the chair across from her.

NOBARA’S SONG 2: ANO DEPAATO by NATSUKO NISSHOKU

This song is about the desire to return to simpler time in one’s childhood as they go through the struggles in adult life. There are several references to things that you experience first as child, as well as just the simplicity of youth. This song is really tragic for Nobara because we know that she always wanted to just grow up and leave her hometown when she was younger, but she also never got to be a kid by the time she became a sorcerer.

The first part of this song is calling back to a place the narrative used to frequent as a kid, and how they would look to the top of the building and never knew what resided up there. It wasn’t until they were older when they finally learned that it was a beer and coffee shop, whereas before they only knew it to be a store and a place to get soft serve ice cream.

We then learn that now, years later, that building will be gone and the narrator finally learns the nature of the rooftop shop. However, they dismiss the “bitter taste of adulthood” and instead turn back to ice cream, like they did in their childhood.

I think making this song Nobara’s theme song is what makes her death in the series a lot more tragic. We know that she is a kid, and maybe she has childlike qualities, but at the end of the day she is a jujutsu sorcerer who must be able to fight and face death. But there’s this desire for more mundane things. We know that she became a sorcerer because she wanted to live in Tokyo. We know that she loves trending things, shopping, and even trying trendy foods.

This part is about returning to your roots, despite your experiences as you grow and change. This makes me think about how Nobara last thought of her friendship with Saori and her childhood, and that no matter what, there would always be that part of them within her, even if she moved away and never saw her again.

However, in the end we know that they are still living separate lives away from that department store and their childhood memories. This song leaves with a bit of a sad ending, highlighting that store will no longer be there anymore. So, no matter how much the narrator wishes to go back and relive those memories, they will never be able to because that building will be gone.

[saintsenara]

thoughts on Crabbe/Goyle, Crabbe/Draco, and/or Goyle/Draco? also in terms of canon, what do you think happened to Goyle post-war?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

in canon, crabbe and goyle are only ever really viewed by harry through the lens of their relationship to draco. indeed, the reader would be forgiven for assuming that both of them spend any time that draco isn't with them staring at a blank wall, not talking to anyone else or doing anything draco doesn't permit them to do or going anywhere without him, while draco - who is shown socialising with other slytherins, like pansy parkinson and theodore nott - only pays them attention when he wants something.

but something i am absolutely committed to thinking is that this is a classic case of harry "lack of object permanence" potter both being unable to comprehend people he's not interested in having lives and thinking that since malfoy is the member of the trio he considers the most important to his own life he must be the most important of the three generally.

instead, i am always struck in canon by the heavy implication - even prior to half-blood prince, in which it's stated outright - that draco doesn't have any actual friends, that he's quite lonely, and that harry never notices this.

and so my preferred way of thinking about these three is to read crabbe and goyle as each other's ride-or-die bff, and draco as someone they think of as a yapping terrier who follows them around and whom they humour.

which is to say, when it comes to vincent crabbe/gregory goyle... it's canon. they're the slytherin equivalent of romione, falling in love in snape's remedial defence against the dark arts classes while breathing a sigh of relief that draco passed first time.

and then when it comes to vincent crabbe/draco malfoy... it's a flop. crabbe's pining over goyle, while draco's driven to ever greater heights of clinginess and being insufferable by the realisation that the boyfriend he thought would be grateful he'd even deigned to look in his direction actually thinks he's annoying and mid.

[it's giving won-won and lavender.]

while they're at school, gregory goyle/draco malfoy is going to have the same issue.

but after it?

i think there's an awful lot to be said for pairings in which the people involved only end up together because of mutual grief - it's my preferred configuration of lilypad or jeverus, for example, and it's also one of the only circumstances in which i could ever see harmony working. and i think it would slap with droyle.

after all, goyle's lost his other half - and not only that, has lost him because of a spell he cast. draco's seen everything he believed was correct and certain about his childhood torn to pieces - including the fact that crabbe and goyle were faithful minions who'd always be there when he wanted them.

they're both going to be completely adrift and terrified about the future - not least because, assuming goyle gets out of azkaban too [which i think he would; i find it inherently plausible that harry insists upon the ministry issuing a blanket pardon for anyone eighteen and under who fought for voldemort], he's not exactly going to have the pick of the job market.

and so why shouldn't they have a little codependent cuddle? as a treat.

[squash1]

An essay on what makes Gansey, Gansey.

Go.

okay. strap in.

in this essay i will examine how, ultimately, what makes gansey, gansey is his experience with death at an early age and how that is fundamentally about a loss of childhood.

to understand what makes gansey, gansey you have to look at gansey’s two lives. gansey was born into a wealthy family — the kind of family that passes down names father to son and has buildings then built in that name. until gansey was 10, we can assume he fit into this affluent world without issue. little gansey was most likely a spoiled little rich kid — not a bad person but inherently out of touch because of the reality he was born into. when gansey dies the first time, it changes his perception of reality — he has an understanding of time and mortality that most adults don’t have never mind ten year olds. this first death is a representation of an early end to gansey’s childhood. he no longer easily fits into the wealthy, laid back world he was born into. we have to assume that until gansey went to stay with mallory, he was in DC with his parents trying to fit into their world but instead feeling intensely isolated and lonely. because even though gansey changed, his parents didn’t.

mallory is an important figure because of the time he represents in gansey’s life. we know from mallory that at 14 gansey struggled intensely with anxiety, that he hadn’t yet learned to present only his shiny gansey mask to the world. but instead of being dismissive, mallory showed gansey kindness and empathy — he was perhaps gansey’s first friend because sometimes delightfully weird old british men are exactly what a teenager needs. mallory helped gansey in his quest, but he also helped him to discover this new version of himself by making him feel not only safe but like there were other people beyond his parent’s world that would understand this pull and fascination he had.

understanding this backstory is key to understanding what makes gansey, gansey, because an intimate knowledge of death is what has produced this gansey that we meet in the raven boys. the gansey we meet is silly and strange and charming. he uses phrases like “hey, tiger” and drinks organic apple juice from the bottle, he has a favorite yellow sweater and is vocal about his love for it. and that’s just gansey, those are ganseyisms as i like to say. gansey has chosen to live his life with childlike wonder and whimsy because he lost that at an early age but doesn’t want to loose it forever. he has decided to embrace the weird, unknown parts of life. he is essentially reclaiming his time. he’s saying yes i know that there is death and darkness in the world, yes i have seen it first hand, yes i still feel it sometimes but i am going to live my life hopefully. gansey has carved out a life for himself in henrietta — a town that in and of itself makes him feel known, but also contains a piece of his old world in aglionby — and has slowly found people who fit, who feel right, who are 1,000 years old just like him. gansey has been lonely for a lot of his life but he found people who were lonely like he was lonely, that were looking for the something more just like he was looking for the something more. he is a compelling leader not because of money or status, but because his hope and quest and belief are real and made real because of gansey’s relationship to mortality. he has made it his mission to build a life he wants, even if it’s short, even if he’s scared. what makes gansey, gansey is his ability to choose hope anyway, to choose to live anyway.

if you made it this far, i love u

[elvensorceress]

Sunday sentences

tagged by my beloveds @eddiebabygirldiaz @wildlife4life @wikiangela @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @wh0re-behavi0r no pressure tagging @hippolotamus @monsterrae1 @shortsighted-owl @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @theotherbuckley @ronordmann @bekkachaos @buddierights @messyhairdiaz @fiona-fififi @thekristen999 @giddyupbuck @gayedmundodiaz 💕 have some Unless finale (which btw is over 29K so far 🫣)

Eddie leans against the fridge and watches Buck put the last few cans and jars away. He clearly has a system and there is no interrupting Buck’s organizational systems. So, Eddie merely gazes at him, unable to keep the smile from spreading over his face. Buck is ridiculously silly and adorable, and he’s home. This is their home together. 

They have a life and a home and a son together. And they belong to each other. 

Eddie doesn’t know how long it might take before those facts don’t make him choked up and dangerously close to happy tears. But a few hours is not long enough. He’s not sure a few lifetimes will be long enough. 

“Thanks so much for coordinating with me and letting us keep up with everything.” Buck puts away the last can of green chilies and runs a box of cereal to the cupboards near the fridge, and then folds and stacks all the empty grocery bags. “No, no I really appreciate it and I know he does, too. He was worried he wouldn’t get to be in class with his friends anymore and he’s been working so hard. So— so thank you. Yeah, you too. I’ll keep in touch and he’ll see you this Monday. Yeah— yeah. Awesome. Have a good one.” He ends the call, sets his phone down with a loud thunk, and spins one more time until he’s facing Eddie with a beaming smile. “Hey, gorgeous.”

Yeah, several lifetimes of this won’t be enough. Eddie’s face heats and he has to match that bright smile, and just stare at his beautiful, ridiculous, magical, amazing partner. “Hi, love.” 

Buck giddily bounces over to him, wraps Eddie in his arms, and kisses him to make up for all the very long minutes apart. It wasn’t even two hours, but it was far too long. “I missed you,” Buck even says while kissing Eddie’s cheek and jaw and the corner of his mouth, like everywhere wouldn’t be enough. 

Eddie laughs as he holds on tightly with an arm around Buck’s waist. 

Until Buck stops the kissing and leans away. “What you think it’s funny? That I missed you already? You don’t believe me?” 

The exact opposite actually. “No, it’s not funny. Yes, I believe you.” Eddie pulls him back in and kisses him again, long and wet and full of overflowing joy. “I missed you, too. So much. Too much. I don’t like not doing chores and errands together. It was a stupid plan.”

Buck holds him closer, more securely, and giggles as he kisses back. “It was your plan.”

“Yeah, well. Again, it was stupid. I hate it. Tell me it’s stupid next time I suggest something terrible like that.” He takes hold of Buck’s thick upper arms and spins them so he can press Buck into the corner and atone for this egregious offense. He scatters kisses and soft nips along Buck’s jaw and down his neck and breathes in the inherent sweetness of Buck’s warmth until there’s nothing in his own head but dizzy dreamy warm luscious joy. 

Buck whimpers and nearly melts all the way to the floor. Eddie holds him up though. He needs to shower him with affection. They’ve been without for more than a hundred and thirteen minutes, and he can’t be without anymore. 

He nuzzles against the slope of Buck’s neck and shoulder and presses long, open-mouthed kisses to his warm skin. Buck’s hand comes up to slide through Eddie’s hair and cradle his head, so gentle and loving it makes thrumming, simmering heat coast over Eddie’s cold skin. He wasn’t cold before. But being touched by Buck is so much like summer sun and lit fireplaces and heating pads and hot baths and laundry fresh out of the dryer. It makes Eddie realize he’s been lonely and frozen for so long. 

But he’s not anymore. 

Buck tips his head back, offering more of his throat, and Eddie has to taste. He has to lick and feel heartbeat under his tongue. It leaves wet trails when he slides over sweet, musky, salty skin and he has to suck patches of light pink nearly red marks into skin because saliva is just not enough to sufficiently claim or possess and show belonging. 

Eddie wants more skin. He wants to feel Buck soft and warm against him. He wants Buck hot and sticky and sweaty and all over him. 

Except there’s a young, disgruntled voice from the doorway, “Oh, you’re doing this again. You know if I were at a friend’s house, you could do whatever you want and I wouldn’t have to be disturbed over here about what’s going on in our kitchen.”

Buck attempts to stand up more on his own, but Eddie doesn’t let him go. Just in case. Just because. But he does turn enough to look over at Chris. “I thought you wanted alone time in your room. Do you need something, bud?”

Chris raises an eyebrow at him and now looks too much like Shannon and Eddie has no hope of surviving ever. “Yes. You said you were going to talk about it. Me going to a friend’s house. This doesn’t look like talking about it.”

Eddie lets out a barely patient huff and looks to Buck. “What do you think?”

Buck’s eyes widen like he wasn’t expecting this at all. “What do I think? I mean—” He gives Eddie a look, subtly glances down between them where they are pressed together, and his cheeks turn pink. And— okay. Eddie can see how this is a very unnecessary question. At least as far as Buck’s point of view. He was already bringing up the idea of date night for them. 

A first date. 

A first date that isn’t really a first date but is still new, different, exciting. The start of the rest of their lives? Or something like that but less embarrassingly sappy. Potentially with a house all to themselves to come home to. 

[sh1-n0bu]

so i forgot to say this but i finished the 2.2 penacony quest yesterday and just wanted to say my own thoughts and opinions regarding a certain chicken winged boy.

SPOILERS BELOW FOR 2.2

first, sunday is still manipulative and a control freak ofc. we can’t have a biblically accurate eldritch angel without some form of mental fuckery. BUT! the interesting part is, it came from gopher wood AKA his adoptive dad. it was taught to him

second, he is a victim. a victim who was groomed into following ena’s dreams and who was forced to make those dreams a reality. however that does NOT excuse the fact that he still committed some crimes and such etc etc. he is manipulative bc that is the only way he knows, that is what gopher wood taught him. the manipulated becomes the manipulator sort of scenario but from what i’ve read between the lines, he knows that. he understands that. he knows what he is doing won’t prevail and that it is inherently wrong and doesn’t sit correct with his own real character AKA dominicus. but will he ever break free from the cycle of manipulation? no. at least, from what we know so far

sunday is in too deep into this small cult for ena and their dreams, he won’t be able to break himself out even if he tried. he is pathetic. not in “owewh he pathetic wet cat🥺” type but in “oh he is pathetic🙁” type. he knows he is a victim, he knows that the path he follows will probably never become a reality but he is too scared to break the cycle. he is too afraid to step out of what has been taught to him thru his whole life. he wants to, but he can’t bc he is too used to the fake comfort of manipulation and what ena’s dreams promise him. at least his sister got herself out of this vicious cycle… at least robin is safe. and that makes him glad

third, i don’t like him. i love his character and his writing, don’t get me wrong. but u got me lost and triggered my encounter with a lunatic cultists with the confessional scene no joke that shit scared me that i had to log off of har for the rest of the day and manipulative characters aint my thing. but overall, love sunday and his writing. but i love dominicus more. that scared lonely boy who has no other choice but to follow the teachings of mr.gopher wood and ena and is told to blindly put his trust in them. as mitski’s lines in “last words of a shooting star” goes:

“… and while its dreams played music in the night

quietly, it was told to

believe…”