Tumgik
#my life is falling apart🙃
thatwritingho · 3 months
Text
Hey, guys. Just as a small update:
My life has been... not great lately, to put it mildly. In the last 6 months, I have experienced:
The death of my hamster
My father's s*icide
The death anniversary of my dog
The death of my favorite uncle
My cat having an unexpected seuzure, nearly dying in my arms, staying overnight in the emergency vet multiple nught, then fibally being diagnosed with feline hypoparathyroidism, which is very rare. His medicine is $130/month.
And, as if all of that wasn't enough... my husband walked out on me unexpectedly last weekend. Very brief details on this below the cut.
I won't go into details, but my husband and I had been together since high school, dating for twelve years and married five. He thought about it for two weeks, talked to me about the issues he was dissatisfied with(which he had not communicated before) for about one week, and then left.
I am physically disabled by a chronic pain condition.
He makes 3x more income than I do.
He is taking half of our animals with him.
So... that's why I have been absent for months.
Any kind words or shows of support are appreciated.❤️
16 notes · View notes
pandora15 · 8 months
Text
life is cruel.
it's tragic, horrific, and unfair. it gives us the worst of things, causes us to feel and experience things that are so unspeakably painful that sometimes I can't even. I can't even.
and it seems even more cruel in those moments of pain and grief and loss when you see something beautiful, like fall colors, or the color of the sky at sunset, or how the holidays typically are meant to bring joy to people but all you can think about now is that every year when this time of year comes, you'll just think about how tragic it is.
and cruel.
and horrific.
and unfair.
and beautiful.
23 notes · View notes
phoenixcavalier · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
Pink sunset last night :)
3 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
Text
...
#hhhhh 🫠 gotta love when instead of doing literally anything im stuck anxiously vibrating for hours#like if u just did things. things would get done! thats how this works! wtf r u doing???#2 manuscripts that r supposed to be done now and 2 applications left to complete#my mum thinks i should let my boss kno thst my brain is collapsing in on itself and like yea i prob should bc i should apologize for being#all weird and disorganized. my brain feels so weird. like it takes so so much processing power for me to remember wtf i was doing and what#i have to do next but like if i tell her it wont really change anything bc its like i have to meet these deadlines either way#also i have to b careful bc i dont wanna say yea i got horrifically burned out taking measurements but like im sure itll be fine that i#have to go back to taking measurements in January. like no prob. weve only been building up to it all year#and i kno if i say im burned out she'll be like u gotta relax more! i told u to relax so we wouldnt b here!#and then i have to be like no u dont fucking understand that i cant relax. i never relax. my life is a series of tasks and thinking abt#tasks and worrying forever. if u tell me to relax i will agony spiral for hours not relaxing and not being productive 🙃#i just need my brain to allow me to focus long enough to get these fucking manuscripts done#but no my brain is like if u wanna do thing u gotta find the perfect audio but also i cant focus as well with audio but also i cant even#find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music#and like no stop. just fucking focus and stop falling apart#time time time not enough and far too much#its so weird bc i think im pretty level headed and self aware despite how my brain is sometimes. but it keeps doing this thing where#like everything gets so distorted and im like jesus its a good thing otherwise pretty grounded#blah tomorrow well see whst comes outta my mouth when i tslk to my boss#ugh im so tired whyyyyyyyyy#i cant even make proper time to draw#unrelated
6 notes · View notes
miralparis · 1 year
Text
argh!! (a post with me bitching in the tags about pottery today lol)
1 note · View note
the-ramblings-of · 11 days
Text
begged my therapist for an extra session this week
0 notes
afc-agitprop · 11 months
Text
Opening instagram sucks because I get to see everyone from high school and college have successful careers and shit while im struggling to go grocery shopping without having a crisis.
1 note · View note
coco-loco-nut · 1 month
Text
loml
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: a journey through your relationship with max
a/n: so for a little background... my ex (he wasn't an F1 fan, it was never gonna work, let's be real) broke up with me the night before this album was released, so writing this series has been very healing; however, this one was extremely difficult to write bc it's the only song i can't analytically listen to and find the deeper meanings yet, especially after losing your first love. sorry for the rant and making this short🙃
tw: emotional abuse, manipulation
masterlist ttpd masterlist part two
________
You and Max were fan favorites, it was evident to anyone with eyes who had eyes. But they say you never know what happens behind closed doors.
“She’s the love of my life,” Max would always say about you, looking at you like you held the universe in the palm of your hand. His fans could recite your love story by heart from how much he loved to talk about you. It only made sense that he could shatter that public opinion.
“Y/n and I have divorced, I would like to ask for privacy as we navigate the changes,” Max posted one day, his socials wiped of everything. Your accounts remained the same, your last post being from the fateful race months ago. You haven’t posted since. The fans should’ve realized when the WAGs and George unfollowed Max.
Your apartment was full of things that reminded you of Max, every time you walked in it reminded you of every memory. He was embroidered in everything. You look at a printed photo of when you first met him. Despite it being six months later, you couldn’t get rid of him.
~~~
All it took was locking eyes with him across the pier for you to fall in love on that breezy summer day. He walked up to you and asked you to join him, and you did. You kissed him at the top of the ferris wheel later that night, and you didn’t even know he was famous all you knew was that he made you feel safe. The breeze reminded you of the warm ocean breeze from that day, one you called the winds of fate.
Despite being young, you married him after a year of being together. Things weren’t perfect even then, he could be incredibly mean, but he was also a standup guy when it mattered. That erased any wrongdoing of his.
“You have made me a better man, you reformed me, the love of my life,” Max had said that fall evening, repeating the one line that brought you back to him every time.
You believed his words, his lies spun to make you believe the hell you were living in was actually heaven. When he takes his anger out at you, doesn’t defend you against his father, you start to second guess him but he calls you those four words.
“I’ll never leave you, Schatje,” Max holds you in his arms, your back against his chest as you both look at a tv in the Paddock. The fans loved that photo, calling your love legendary. They didn’t know about the growing hole in your heart.
Your marriage was looking like one of those black and white movies you and Max watch on snowy winter afternoons. You and Max had been talking about starting a family, but you couldn’t get pregnant and you were watching everything you loved slip away.
“God, Max, you are like a con-man. I feel like I’ve been sold a get-love-quick scheme. What happened to you?” you ask, voice laced with hurt, during an argument about it. Max just ignored you, pushing past to stream with some friend. He ignored the sobs coming from your bedroom. He told the chat that you are the love of his life when asked about you.
“Y/n, we need to talk,” some of the WAGs pulled you aside during a race. They told you how Max was shit talking you to other drivers, saying you were a waste of a wife for your inability to get pregnant, saying he should’ve never married you, pointing out every flaw he told you was beautiful when he was lying to your face. You stand up and leave, not saying a word even when the girls try to stop you. Max is confused but simply responds to your text saying you were sick with an okay.
You are laying in your bed sobbing when Max gets back from the race. You face the terrace, where you and Max would dance under the stars. You can see the ghosts of it through your tears, and you wished you could un-recall when you thought you had everything.
“Please get out of bed,” Max says, his concerned tone laced with venom. Maybe the ghosts of your relationship are embarrassed by the scene on the other side of the glass.
“No,” you cry, mourning the loss of your counterfeit relationship.
“I’ll be back in a few hours,” Max sighs leaving the room. You sent a text to the WAG group chat who helped you remove all your belongings from Max’s apartment into George’s apartment that he wasn’t using at the moment.
Your phone is flooded with messages from Max, so you turn it off unless you are talking to your lawyer. Max finds a divorce petition and your apartment key on the dining room table when he comes home from training a few days later. The relationship that had such a valiant roar ended with the blandest goodbye.
You sit in George’s apartment with Carmen and Lily drinking wine. You took over George’s lease after they insisted that you did.
“For someone who claims to be a lion, he sure is a manipulative coward,” Carmen says as the three of you comb through the years of lies he spun.
You took the dreams that you thought you and Max wanted and lit the match to destroy them with your divorce papers. Despite your somber eyes, you seem more at peace, even with the sadness you will carry with you until you die.
“He’s the loss of my life.”
part two
499 notes · View notes
nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 2 months
Note
Hiii love your writingggg, could you plsss do very innocent!reader and pervy!ethan 🫶🏻
Hiii! I hope you like it, even though you requested this MONTHS ago.
I'm not innocent, so I'm not the best at writing it🙃 Hopefully this is okay:)
Creep - Pervy!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
Tumblr media
This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: You ask Ethan for help in econ, and once Mindy mentions the empty bedroom in the apartment she shares with Ethan and Chad, you agree to move in. But you realize that your sweet, dorky new roommate has been stealing your panties.
Contains: Pervy kinda creepy Ethan, innocent inexperienced reader, fingering. m!masturbation.
A/N: Okay...this needs a part 2 but I'm already at 5k words lmao. A lot of fics I've read along these lines had had Ethan more subby, but not in this one. 👀
*For the poll I posted earlier today, this one had the most votes at the time of me posting this fic. I'm going to write them all in the order that they're wanted:)*
Tumblr media
It seemed like your life was starting to fall apart. You couldn’t stand your roommate, your boyfriend had broken up with you, and your grade for econ was starting to tank. When you brought up your grade to your professor after class, hoping to figure out some way to raise it, she suggested that you talk to Ethan Landry.
The next time you had class, you beelined towards him once he walked in. He noticed you, getting a little nervous the closer you got. He wasn’t the best at talking to girls, he even thought this could’ve been a figment of his imagination that the girl he struggled to take his eyes off was walking to him. He was chewing the inside of his cheek, his eyes not leaving you until you were finally face to face.
“Ethan, right?” you sweetly said, as he nodded. “I hear you’re the best for tutoring, and I desperately need your help if you have the time.”
“I’ll make the time,” he spat out, before he internally screamed at himself for sounding so desperate to help. “I mean, I can help you.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” you said, as you pulled out your phone. “What’s your number?”
“Oh, um…” he trailed off, racking his brain for those ten digits that he suddenly forgot. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day.”
“It’s okay,” you smiled, “Are you okay with me just giving you my number and you can text me so we can set something up?”
“Yeah,” he said, as he pulled out his phone and went to create a new contact. He passed you his phone as you typed in your name and number, before you handed it back to him.
“Don’t forget to text me,” you said, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you turned to walk back to your seat.
“I won’t,” he said, tightly gripping his phone in his hand as you turned to smile at him once more.
He was struggling to focus as he sat through that class. His fingers kept rubbing over the phone screen that your thumbs had moved across, and he started to realize how pathetic he was for already being so addicted to you when you’d only spoken to him once.
Later that week, you were supposed to meet Ethan in the library to study. You both completely forgot about the renovations they were doing, the normally quiet space filled with the loud sounds of the various pieces of machinery on the opposite side of the room.
“Maybe we should try to do this some other time,” you yelled over the noise. “I can’t concentrate on anything you’re saying.”
“Oh, okay,” Ethan said, looking down so you wouldn’t see the sad look on his face. That’s when he started to get an idea. “My apartment is only two blocks away. It should be quieter. You want to come over to study?”
You liked to be cautious, and you normally wouldn’t go to someone’s apartment that you barely knew, but Ethan seemed innocent enough, and you desperately needed to pass the class so you wouldn’t have to take it again.
“Sure,” you said, wincing as the noise in the room got louder.
You walked beside Ethan as you went to his apartment, and even though it was just for studying, he felt a glint of pride as he walked with you. He hoped that anyone who saw you together would think you were his.
“Hopefully my roommates won’t be too loud,” Ethan sighed, as he stuck his key in the front door.
“Nothing is worse than what’s going on in the library right now,” you said, as he shrugged.
“You say that now…”
You barely made it inside when you heard arguing. Ethan sighed in defeat before he turned to you, “I moved in with my friends, and they’re constantly arguing.”
“Oh,” you giggled, as you followed him into the living room of the apartment. ��Oh, hey Mindy,” you said, as she turned to you and smiled.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” she asked, as she walked over to you. Chad just stood there, still worked up from the spat they were having when you walked in.
“Ethan’s trying to help me not fail econ,” you said, as she nodded.
“I remember you mentioning you were having trouble with it.”
Ethan was confused as he stood there, because Mindy had never mentioned you, but she seemed to know you quite well. The two of you talked for a few minutes, and once Ethan heard another guy’s name get mentioned, he immediately got jealous.
“I’m proud of you for not giving him another chance,” Mindy said, as you let out a small laugh.
“I’m not going to say I didn’t think about it, but I don’t need him making my life any harder than it needs to be right now,” you sighed, “On top of the bullshit with him, my roommate is just so awful. Like, she woke me up blasting music before the sun even came up today. I’m trying to find somewhere else to live, but I haven’t had any luck yet.”
“Well, we’re looking for a fourth roommate…” Mindy trailed off, as Ethan’s eyes grew wide. “It’d be nice to have another girl here.”
“Don’t tempt me,” you joked, as Mindy smiled.
“Seriously, think about it,” she said, before she started to yell. “Chad!”
You noticed that the other boy was no longer in the room, but you saw him again as he turned the corner and groaned. “What?”
“Okay, don’t be rude,” she snapped, “I’m trying to convince her to move into the fourth bedroom.”
“Oh,” Chad said, his annoyed face turning up in a smile. “Hey, I’m Chad.”
“Hey,” you said, before he started to go over rent and other things you’d need to know. “Why would I want to move in when you two argue like this?” you joked, as Chad tried to play it off.
“We shared a womb, we lived in the same house until we moved into our dorms, and I finally got a break from her,” he said, as she scoffed, “But now we have to live together again and we’re trying to figure out how to do that.”
“I’ve never lived with boys before…and I’m sure my parents would kill me if they ever found out, but I’ll definitely think about it,” you said, before you turned to Ethan. “I’m sorry, you want to study now?”
“Yeah, let’s go to my room,” he said, as he led you there.
You both got settled on his bed. He sat across from you, his back against the headboard as you adjusted to get more comfortable, laying on your stomach. He bit his lip once he noticed the perfect view he had down your shirt, the neckline barely covering anything as your chest was pressed against his bed.
“So, where should we start?” you asked, your soft voice barely getting his attention as he kept staring at your chest. He wanted to squeeze your boobs, suck on them, fuck them, even. “Ethan?” you questioned as you looked away from your notebook, and opened your laptop, completely blocking the sight he was fantasizing over.
“Oh, uh…” he said, as he opened his laptop. “Maybe let’s work on the quiz that’s due this weekend. It’ll show me what you do and don’t need help with.”
You spent over an hour studying with Ethan, and you felt like you were having a little bit of a better understanding. You were starting to get hungry, so you closed your laptop. Ethan glanced over his screen the second he noticed, getting another peak down your shirt again. This time, he saw a part of one of your nipples peaking out of your bra, the sight making his pants grow tighter. He fought off the sound that was threatening to come out before you sat up, once again taking his perfect view away from him.
“I’m starving,” you said, as you started to put your stuff away. “But thank you so much for your help, and I hope you’ll want to keep helping me. You’re my only hope.”
He softly chuckled at your words, “If you move in, we can study whenever you want.”
“You’d be cool with it?” you asked, smiling at him. “You didn’t really say anything out there and I didn’t want to actually start considering it until you said something.”
“Yeah, I think it’s cool,” he said, “If you do want to, and you need help moving or anything, let me know.”
“Thanks, Ethan,” you said, smiling again before you made your way out of his room.
He wanted to walk you to the door, but he knew the second he stood up, his hard cock would be so obvious. He ran his hand over the spot you were laying on the bed, your warmth still soaked up by his comforter. The view down your shirt was burned in his brain as he got up and walked over to the door, shutting and locking it before he dropped his pants to give his aching cock the attention it desperately needed.
The next time you had econ, you walked in and sat down beside Ethan. He didn’t notice at first, but he soon smelled the familiar scent that he couldn’t get out of his head after you’d left his apartment a few days before. He wasn’t sure if it was your hair or the perfume you were wearing, but it smelled delicious.
“Hey,” he smiled, his pupils growing large as he saw you. “Are you okay?”
He took in the stress on your face, and how tired you looked.
“Yeah, are you sure you’re cool with me moving in?” you asked, “Because I can’t deal with my roommate anymore.”
“Yeah, of course,” he said, “What happened?”
“She invites her boyfriend to stay over whenever she doesn’t have class the next morning,” you sighed, “I don’t want to explain all the sounds I had to listen to while I tried to sleep last night.”
“Oh,” he said softly, “Well, your room would be beside mine, and I wouldn’t keep you up all night.”
“I bet that’s why I’m failing this class right now. I never sleep,” you said, as you looked over to him. “Wait, you don’t have a girlfriend that stays over?”
“No,” he said, his cheeks turning pink at your question.
“Sex is overrated,” you shrugged, “But I really thought you would’ve had a girlfriend.”
“Really?” he asked, as your professor walked in.
“Yeah, you’re a cutie,” you smiled, before you directed your attention to the lecture.
Ethan was thankful that you were so focused and didn’t see the cheesy smile on his face. The girl he’d been thinking about as he jerked his cock for the last few days called him cute, and his heart was swelling.
After a couple weeks, Ethan, Chad, and Mindy showed up to the apartment you currently lived in while your roommate was at her boyfriend’s to help you move.
“First, I want you guys to know that none of this mess is mine,” you said, as soon as you answered the front door for them.
“Whoa,” Chad said as he glanced around. “There’s no way you live with a girl.”
“Yeah, you’ll never guess what I found on the kitchen floor this morning,” you said, as Mindy started to think.
“With the mess, I’m going to guess…dead mouse?”
“Not even close,” you said, as you shook your head and shuddered as you thought about it. “It was a condom.”
“Like…in the wrapper or…?” Chad asked, as you, once again, shook your head.
“Used.”
“Ewwww,” Mindy said, cringing at the thought.  “Okay, is anything in the kitchen yours?”
“I already boxed that stuff up. Except the dishes that she’s refused to wash,” you said, as you led them to the living room. “The TV is mine, and that lamp,” you said, as you pointed, “But other than that, I really just have to worry about my room.”
“I think it’d be best to have all the heavy stuff in the living room so Ethan and I can worry about that,” Chad said, as you nodded and led them down the hall.
You had already packed up most of your room, which made it so easy for your new roommates to help you. Once Chad was carrying your mattress out and Mindy had ran out to get coffee, Ethan started to glance around your room. He noticed the hamper full of clothes in the corner, and he found himself inching closer towards it as he listened to you and Chad talk in the living room. Before he could stop himself, he grabbed a shirt off the top of the pile, inhaling its scent. He let out a deep breath before he went to put the shirt back in the hamper, before he noticed some black lace sticking out under a pair of your jeans. He snatched it out of the basket and put it in his pocket before he put the shirt back in it once he heard footsteps coming back down the hall.
“Did you need help with this?” Ethan asked, pointing to the basket, trying to make it not seem like he was being weird.
“Shit, I forgot to do laundry,” you groaned, as the realization hit him that the panties he’d grabbed had been worn. “I’ll carry that out.”
“Okay,” Ethan said, before Chad motioned for him to help with the dresser.
Later that day after you got your stuff moved into your new room, you flopped on your freshly made bed as Mindy popped in.
“So, I’m going to try to convince the guys to share a bathroom so you don’t have to share with Ethan,” she said, as you shrugged.
“It’s not a big deal,” you said, “I just hope he doesn’t mind all the girly stuff in the shower and the makeup and stuff.”
Ethan didn’t mind at all. In fact, he’d already been in the bathroom, smelling your body wash, your shampoo and conditioner. The skincare products you used. He realized that all those things together were the cause of the scent that made his head spin.
Later that night after you had takeout with everyone, Ethan excused himself to go to bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about your panties that were still in his pocket. Once he pulled them out, he ran his fingers over the lace before taking in your scent. He softly groaned before he dropped his pants, the thoughts of his face buried in your pussy making him harder by the second. He had them tightly clutched in his fist as he started to stroke himself with his free hand, small whimpers flying out of his mouth as he tried to imagine how soft your hand would feel wrapped around him. His bottom lip was in between his teeth once he started to get louder, the tip of his cock red as be brought himself closer to the edge. Just as he was about to cum, he deeply inhaled the scent of your panties one more time before he rubbed them against the tip of his cock, his thick, white ropes covering the lace.
You thought living with boys was going to be difficult, but your first month wasn’t bad. You were surprised at how clean they liked everything to be, and Ethan always put the toilet seat down. You started to get close to your dorky roommate, especially once you spent so much time studying together. You already thought he was cute, but once you actually got to know more about him, you realized that he was so sweet, so nice. He might’ve been a little shy, too, but he got to the point where he was doing cute little things to make you laugh.
One day, you went to do your laundry in the apartment. You walked over and were about to throw stuff in when you noticed clothes were already inside, and Ethan quickly rounded the corner with the rest of the stuff he needed to toss in.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, “You want me to take my stuff out? I can wash it later.”
“No, it’s fine, I’ll wait,” you said with a smile, before you noticed something familiar in the washer. “Oh,” you said, your cheeks turning pink as you reached out and grabbed your panties out of the washer. “Must’ve dropped these in.”
Ethan’s eyes grew wide as he noticed them in your hand, the realization hitting you that they were sticky.
“Eww, what is all over these?” you said, a disgusted look on your face as you tried to figure it out. You looked over to Ethan, his face bright red and his eyes huge, when you pieced it together. “Ethan…”
He just stared at you, the silence deafening as he tried to think of something, anything to say to you. He’d gotten away with stealing your panties for a month, but it was a way for him to feel close to you, and satisfy some of the sexual frustration he had whenever he thought about you.
“What’s on my panties?” you questioned, as he tensed up. “Actually, I don’t think I want to know.”
You tossed them back in the washer and walked past him and headed straight to the bathroom to wash your hands. When you went to your room and shut the door, Ethan huffed and tossed in the rest of stuff that was in his hands before he started the washer.
As the day went by, you couldn’t stop thinking about Ethan, and how you’d noticed that pairs of your panties had been going missing ever since you moved in. But then you’d randomly see them again, in the top drawer of your dresser after a few days. You didn’t think Ethan was like that, and it made you feel a little uneasy to live with him.
Later that night, you had to say something to him. You walked out of your room and glanced around the apartment for him, before you walked to his closed door and started to knock. He eased it open after a few seconds, his eyes connecting with yours through the small crack.
“Can we talk?” you asked, as he took a deep breath and hesitantly opened the door for you.
You walked in and took a seat on the side of the bed, your gaze on his floor as you tried to think of the right way to talk to him.
“You want me to leave the door open,” he asked, barely above a whisper as you shook your head no.
“If Mindy or Chad come home, I don’t want them to hear the conversation.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled, before he took a seat beside you. “I’m sorry.”
“Why were you stealing my panties?” you asked, as he took a deep breath.
“I can’t explain it without sounding like the total creep you probably already think I am.”
“So…that was what I thought it was on them,” you said, as you turned to look at him. He nodded, looking away to not meet your gaze.
“Again, I am so sorry,” he said, “I know you probably hate me, and I understand if you don’t want to be around me. I’ll stay in my room so you don’t have to see me.”
“I’m just a little confused,” you said softly, as he finally let his eyes connect with yours. “What’s so exciting about my panties?”
At that moment, one thing you said to Ethan started to play in his head. ‘Sex is overrated.’ He was questioning how much experience you actually had.
“Do you really not know or are you fucking with me?” he questioned.
“Like, does it feel good? How does it even turn you on?” you asked, curiously staring at him.
“They uh…yeah, it feels good when I uh…rub them on myself. And they smell like you.”
“They smell like fabric softener and laundry detergent,” you said, a small laugh slipping out as he shook his head.
“I haven’t been stealing clean ones…they smell like you.”
“Oh,” you said, as you looked away from him. “That turns you on?”
“You have no idea,” he said, and even though the conversation was uncomfortable, he was getting hard.
“Why are guys so weird?” you thought out loud, laughing a little as you shook your head. “So does that mean that you like me? Or you’re like…sexually attracted to me? I still don’t fully get it.”
“Both,” he said, “I think you’re so beautiful, and I’ve had so much fun with you this last month…but I also think about you in a different way, too. Ya know?”
“I’ve thought about you that way, too,” you admitted, “It’d kind of hard not to. I hear you through the walls all the time.”
“You’ve heard me?” he asked, a blush spreading to his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I know you hated when you heard your old roommate.”
“I like it when I hear you,” you said so softly that he barely heard it.
“Do you touch yourself when you hear me?”
Your breathing got heavier at his question, and Ethan noticed. You were getting so flustered under his gaze.
“I…I’ve tried to,” you said, as you took in the curious look on his face.
“Tried to?” he asked, “What do you mean?”
“Like…I know what feels good, but I can never get myself…there, if you know what I mean.”
“You’ve never made yourself cum?” he questioned, admiring how cute you looked as you got embarrassed.
“No one has.”
“No one?” he asked, his throat dry at the thought. “Are you a virgin?”
“No…but I’ve never enjoyed sex. Like, it feels good, but I think it’s so disappointing when you hear how amazing orgasms are and then I just never get one.”
Ethan expected the conversation that was happening to go so differently. He thought you hated him, but there you were, telling him that you’d tried to get yourself off when you’d heard him. The thought of him being the first one to make you cum had him salivating, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if he offered.
“Have you ever…given someone an orgasm?” you asked, as he nodded. “I’m jealous of whoever she is.”
“Don’t be,” he said, scooting a little closer to you. “Fuck, I’d make you cum all the time if I could.”
“Really?” you smiled, “If you ever want to, I’m right next door,” you joked, as he smiled and shook his head.
“Hey, don’t offer that or I’ll be in your room every day.”
You were starting to squirm against his bed, your thighs rubbing together so subtly that he could barely tell. The sexual tension was so thick, your breathing getting heavier as you thought about how good Ethan would make you feel.
“I think I need to go back to my room,” you said, as you started to stand up. That’s when you glanced at Ethan’s lap, noticing the tent in his sweatpants.
“Do you really want to?” he asked, “Because if you want me to take care of you right now, I will.”
“Seriously?” you questioned, as he smiled and nodded.
“Come here,” he said, reaching out to grab your hands, pulling you to him.
Once Ethan leaned in to kiss you, he was almost taken aback by how quickly your lips were moving against his. He was desperate for you, but you were just as desperate for him. He matched your pace before he pushed you back on the bed, his hand running from your hip, up your ribs, until it landed on your breast. You gasped into the kiss once he squeezed it.
You had massive butterflies in your stomach once you felt his cock pressing against your thigh through his sweatpants, your head was spinning, but you were loving every second of it.
“Hey, I have an idea,” he said, once he pulled away to catch his breath. “I think we should go to your room.”
“Why?” you asked because you didn’t want to stop. You needed his lips back on yours.
“Because you have that full length mirror leaning against your wall,” he said, chuckling once you noticed the confused look on your face. “I want you to see what I’m doing to make you cum…in case I’m never here to help you.”
“Okay,” you said, as he stood up and grabbed your hands.
Once he opened his bedroom door, he listened to make sure he didn’t hear anyone else in the apartment before he walked out and to your room next door. He shut and locked your bedroom door once he made it inside, before he pulled you into another kiss. His hands held onto your hips until they started to rub against the flesh under the hem of your shirt. He kept inching it further and further up, until he pulled away to pull it over your head. His lips went back to yours as he reached around to unhook your bra, his hands squeezing at your breasts once they were free.
His mouth moved to your neck as his hands explored your body, before they snaked under the waistband of your leggings. He moved them down over your hips as you shimmied out of them, leaving you in nothing but your panties. He recognized them as the first pair he ever stole, the black lacy ones.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, as his hand moved to rub you over your panties. The material was soaked as you moaned at the feeling. “That feel good?”
“Yes,” you said, quickly nodding your head just in case he needed the extra confirmation. “So good.”
“I hate that I have to take these off you,” he said, as he inched the fabric down your thighs, leaving you completely nude in front of him. “I’m going to sit on the floor in front of the mirror, and I want you to sit between my legs.”
“Okay,” you said, as he took a seat on the floor, his legs spreading for you to sit. You did as he said, looking at him in the mirror as he spread your legs, placing your feet on either side of his legs on the floor.
You watched him lick two of his fingers before he placed them against your clit, rubbing slow circles. Your eyes stayed on the reflection of his hand, your mouth parting as you started to breathe faster. He added a little more pressure as you fully relaxed back into his chest, the softest moans slipping out as he went a little faster.
“Ethaaan,” you whined out, the noise quickly becoming his new favorite sound.
“Shh, I don’t know if anyone else is here,” he said softly, “Just keep your legs spread for me, baby.”
He rubbed a few more circles on your clit before his fingers moved lower, one of them slipping inside you. He pumped it in and out for a minute before he added another, as you angled your neck to look up at him. He leaned down to kiss you as his fingers moved, before he started to mumble against your lips.
“If you ever finger yourself, this…” he said, as he curved them just right, a low moan flying out of your mouth, “Is the spot that needs attention. Okay baby?”
“Okay,” you whimpered, as he moved his fingers faster.
The sounds you were making just kept getting louder, and Ethan was just hoping and praying that no one else was home. One of your hands clung to his thigh as your other hand wrapped around his wrist, as you started to feel…different. It felt so good, and the last thing you wanted was for him to stop. Once he went even faster, the squelching sound of your wet pussy and your whimpers filling the room, your legs were trying so hard to close as your toes curled against the carpet on the floor.
“Oh my god,” you moaned, your fluttering eyes watching his hand in the mirror as your body started to tingle.
“Cum for me baby,” he encouraged, as you finally let that feeling wash over your body. You were jolting, your eyes screwed shut as his fingers started to slow, his free hand roaming your chest as you let out all your sounds.
Once you fully relaxed in his arms, he placed a kiss to the top of your head as your hazy eyes connected with his in the mirror.
“Now you can’t say no one’s ever made you cum,” he said with a smile, as he slid his fingers out of you. “Did it feel good?”
“That was better than I thought it was going to be,” you said, “Thanks, Ethan.”
“You’re welcome.”
You sat there in silence for a minute as you felt his cock pressing against you, and you wanted so badly to take care of him, until you heard commotion in the apartment.
“Hey, guysss,” Chad yelled, as he walked down the hall.
You tensed up as you glanced at your door, before Ethan whispered, “It’s okay, I locked it.”
You relaxed again before Chad started to yell again, “Tara’s here!”
You forgot about hanging out with Mindy and Tara for the night, and you didn’t want to pull away from Ethan, but you hesitantly did, your legs wobbling as you tried to stand. Ethan got up to help you, and once you got your bearings, he started to grab your clothes off the floor for you.
“Thanks,” you said, before you noticed him pick up your panties.
“No, thank you,” he joked, a smirk playing on his lips as he backed towards your door. “I’ll see you when you get back in the morning.”
“I better still have panties in that top drawer when I get back.”
645 notes · View notes
moonlinos · 4 months
Note
Hi love 💖
Which romance trope do you associate each skz member with?
For eg: enemies to lovers, forbidden, friends to lovers, boy next door etc
Tbh, from your perspective what relates to them....
Bye, keep writing more 🥰🤗☺️
Ahh I loved writing this, thank you for asking. I got a bit carried away, but it’s not proofread since it’s a drabble so I tried to be less annoying with myself 🙃 Basically a trope for each member + a small blurb 🩷
Tumblr media
Chan - Second chance love Maybe it’s because I just wrote about this, but it fits Chan well.
He was your college sweetheart, the one boyfriend you could never truly forget. After he moves to a different country due to a job offer, you’re left to reminisce about the amazing relationship you foolishly let slip through your fingers. You unknowingly compare every boyfriend you have to him, and they all fall short. No guy is as caring as Chan — he missed out on his own birthday party to console you after failing a test. No guy is as romantic as Chan — he was too broke for flowers during your relationship, so he made you paper roses every day until you broke up. No guy would ever live up to what Chan meant to you. Although you want nothing more than to look for him, your falling out wasn’t quite amicable. When you meet again, it’s by pure coincidence. He’s been transferred back to Seoul, where his company is located across the street from the building where you work. You’re completely different from who you were when you were together. Somehow, that’s exactly what you needed, and you find yourselves wanting to give your old romance a second try.
Tumblr media
Minho - Friends to lovers This is so strange to me because this is actually my least favorite trope, and this man is my bias.
Minho is the one person at your job who you can stand to be around. You always joked about how his hidden talent is making you laugh even while you’re crying. Having worked together for three years now, you two have your little routine: going out to eat cheap street food after work and getting drunk at your favorite bar on weekends. He’s nothing but a friend to you, but he’s secretly pining after you, just waiting for that right moment to confess his feelings. But that moment never comes — you’re always too focused on work, or whining about yet another failed blind date. It takes one drunken night, when he’s carrying you from your car up to your apartment, for just how sweet, caring, and handsome Minho truly is to dawn on you. From there, you begin to subtly show him your feelings — which would totally make him flustered and maybe even a little annoyed that you could do it so effortlessly while he just waited around like an idiot. When you’re asked why you had a change of heart after being his friend for so long, you simply answer that you had no choice but to fall for him. He’s your best friend and the love of your life all wrapped up into one, how could you not want him?
Tumblr media
Changbin - Holiday romance He just screams hot, funny dude you meet on a holiday.
You’re a bit down as you walk into the luau; the beautiful beach does little to distract you from the ugly jealousy inside your chest. Your friends are finding their perfect partners one by one, getting married, and leaving you to be the single friend. Your last friend from your little group is set to get married in two days, her wealthy fiance flying all the guests out to Hawaii for a dream beach wedding. You’re happy for her, but being her bridesmaid was almost like rubbing salt in your wound. Changbin’s loud voice is the first thing you hear after sitting down at the bar. You two get to talking, and his contagious laughter and constant jokes have you enthralled the entire night, and the way the sleeves of his shirt strained against his biceps certainly helped. You end up hooking up that night, leaving you hopeful you won’t be so lonely during yet another wedding. Except he simply disappears when morning comes, a small note explaining he had to catch his flight left on the pillow beside you. He didn’t know if adding his number would be too much — maybe you were just looking to de-stress and have a good time at your friend’s bachelorette party. So he doesn’t, simply signing his name and telling you he had an amazing time with you.
Tumblr media
Hyunjin - Forbidden love In so many different ways. A crown prince set to be king, your bodyguard who really shouldn’t have fallen for you because it puts his life at risk, your best friend who’s already in a relationship. A love you know is unattainable, but you pursue it anyway.
The crown prince has a soft spot for you, even though you’re only a village girl who runs your family’s bakery. Despite his guards surrounding him and his cold appearance, he treats you as an equal whenever he visits your shop — which happens frequently, seeing as his mother cannot live without your strawberry pound cake, a recipe that’s been passed down to you by your late father. Hyunjin’s love starts shyly, without him noticing. His father often berates him for being too soft on the help, too kind to people below him — he simply assumes it’s his seemingly too-kind nature that makes him want to befriend you. He begins escaping from the palace under the pretense of fetching his mother’s favorite treat himself, until he finds himself escaping simply to see you. You spend your days teaching him how to bake various treats while he revels in feeling so normal for the first time in his life. Hidden inside your little bakery, he’s not expected to be gracious and courteous, or to be ruthless and calculating. He can simply be himself around you. Only problem is his parents announce he will be marrying a princess from a neighboring kingdom in less than six months.
Tumblr media
Jisung - Fake relationship Jisung screams early 2000s romcom for me, you can’t change my mind. The real chaotic ones like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Wedding Planner, and of course, The Proposal.
You were certainly not his first option, given his love for tormenting you and your history of bickering at office get-togethers. But Jisung is left with no choice as Christmas is quickly approaching, and his entire family expects to meet his fiance when he visits. In all fairness, he did have one, but she broke off the engagement with no real explanation, leaving him heartbroken and in a huge predicament. He could either come clean to his family and endure two weeks of nagging or find someone to act as his fiance. Unfortunately for him, you’re the only single woman in his department he knows would accept this crazy deal — that’s enough ammo for a year of teasing, and you can’t pass up on that.
Tumblr media
Felix - Sunshine/grumpy I know this is the most obvious choice but hear me out, it’s for good reason.
Felix moves back to Australia to get away from the corporate world he’s been sucked into, missing his carefree days at the beach when he was a kid. You move in next door after a year and a half of enduring a terrible writer’s block that threatens your career as a writer. You have no time for futile things, seeing as your livelihood depends on you sitting down and finishing your book before summer ends. Except your neighbor is unrelenting, determined to help you find your lost passion through his carefully curated list of days at his favorite childhood fair and late-night ocean trips to teach you how to swim. It’s irritating at first, and you want nothing more than to get through his silly list as fast as possible lest you drown him during one of your swimming lessons. Only Felix’s outlook on life slowly wins you over, and you find yourself with more than just your forgotten love for writing filling your heart.
Tumblr media
Seungmin - Enemies to lovers He also screams romantic comedy. His handsome face hiding his chaotic need to pester everyone he loves makes this the obvious choice to me.
As a lawyer just starting her career, you expect to be faced with the usual issues: overworking, your boss being an asshole, and dealing with cases that make you question your own morals. A co-worker who makes every second of your day unbearable was not on your bingo card. Seungmin is assigned to the same team as you, working under the supervision of the firm’s most prestigious lawyers. His need to be the best drives you up the wall, his competitiveness possibly being the worst trait you’ve seen on a man, only rivaled by his cockiness. If that wasn’t enough, he’s seemingly determined to make your life a living hell, constantly engaging in petty fights and teasing you every chance he gets. When a particular case proves too much for you to handle — hitting too close to home — Seungmin trades his unwelcome jokes for words of encouragement, keeping you company after work hours simply to help you. You see him take a step back from his beloved spotlight for the first time just to watch you shine. You find it odd, to say the least, but you can’t bring yourself to question it in your situation. Little do you know he’s been falling for you since he was first introduced to the team, and his need to rile you up is simply a desperate attempt to make you pay attention to him.
Tumblr media
Jeongin - Boy next door I read this one in your message and I just knew it was Jeongin.
He moves next door after a heartbreak, which makes him want nothing more than to run away from the bustling city of Seoul and its cold residents. Jeongin intrigues you from the first day — having lived in that small town your whole life had you desperate for excitement, for what adventures the city could provide you. You have a happy, albeit quite monotonous life. Running the only bookshop in town provides countless stories from your nosy neighbors’ chaotic lives that keep you entertained throughout your days. Still, you’ve grown tired of only hearing about these experiences. Jeongin begins frequenting your bookshop, walking you home, and coming inside for a piece of cake every day. During your talks, you always complain about your dull life in the town, while he swears you wouldn’t trade the tranquility of your little life if you knew how ruthless and lonely the city can be. You fall first, his bright smile and gentle nature capturing your lonely heart. But he falls harder, vowing to help you find the excitement you yearn for in life, even if it means losing you to the city he hates so much.
Tumblr media
♡ taglist: @bloom-ings, @linocz, @farahia, @mirbokk, @jisunglyricist, @jazziwritesthings, @seungseung-minmin, @yourcvndx, @hynjinnnnnnnie, @vlctorriaa, @yongbokkiesworld, @kiensecent, @redstayrosie
322 notes · View notes
baby-yongbok · 8 months
Text
Grief
Felix × Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, kinda heavy, I'll say that it's heavy to be safe.
Word Count: 1,233
Summary: You had to find a way to numb the pain after losing your best friend, but hurting your boyfriend wasn't part of the plan.
Warnings: Mentions of drinking, Heavy Themes of Grief, Themes of toxic Coping skills, Yelling, Cursing.
A/N: it's grieving season for me so here's an attempt to let my feeling out ✨️enjoy✨️ this doesn't seem dark to me but I don't think like everyone else, please pay attention to the tags. + I'm uploading from my phone, so I'm sorry if anything looks stupid 🙃
✨️Masterlist✨️
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The doorknob twisted and turned vigorously as you fought with your keys. Your senses were off, but who's wouldn't be after taking as many shots as you have tonight.
Finally, you manage to find the right key and you're hoisted inside by your own body weight. You giggle at yourself as you stumble into the dark living room. The sound of your thick converse against the hardwood echoing off the walls. You shut the door a lot harder than you meant to, earning another giggle to fall from your lips.
"Are you going to keep doing this?" You jump at the sound of your boyfriend's smooth voice. Looking around with your blurry vision until your eyes landed on Felix sitting in the arm chair across from you. His voice is relatively calm, angry but calm.
"What?" You asked, plopping down on the couch and slipping your sneakers off. Before he can answer you're pulling yourself back up and stumbling your way over to the kitchen.
"You know what, going out and getting drunk. Drowning out your consciousness every night." Felix follows you, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he watches you closely. His eyes look sad but you're too inebriated to comment.
"It's fine. It's fun." You slur slightly as you try your best to extend yourself, standing on your toes to reach the top shelf of the cabinet. Felix watches you as you try to reach a bottle of red wine, a very expensive bottle that you both agreed to save for special occasions. Felix runs his hands over his face before he walks over to you. You smile at him thinking that he's going to help you. He leans forward, aggressively reaching up and slamming the cabinet shut, sobering you up a bit.
"What the fuck, Felix." You jump at the sound and push his shoulder. He glares down at you.
"I need you to stop this. This isn't the right way to deal with grief, me and the guys are here for you. We can find a good therapist, there are resources out there."
"Therapy doesn't fucking bring her back." You yell, eyes wide with anger. You've been working hard to get the feelings to go away. You've been going out nearly every night, drinking and trying to live your best life even though your partner in crime since Pre-school is gone. Felix nods, taking a deep breath to level his emotions.
"I understand that but this isn't healthy and -" A loud scoff leaves your lips, you shake your head as your anger rises.
"I don't need a fucking lecture. You have no idea what it's like to lose your best friend." Those were the words that made Felix snap, his vision went dark. Everything that he had been holding back for weeks poured out in an instant.
"The hell I do, I've been watching you, my best friend, practically kill herself with alcohol for an entire month. I can't do this shit anymore, Y/n. I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to be there for you but you just aren't there anymore. You're not even willing to look in the damn mirror and see that you're falling apart. Do you think she'd be proud of this shit?"
Felix's deep voice bounced off of the walls and echoed through your head. He's never yelled at you before, this is the first time that he's used the deep tone of his voice towards you in an act of anger. Such an intense one at that. You stand there wide eyed and teary as Felix runs his hands through his hair, pacing a bit as more anger creeps up his throat. His loud deep voice ringing through your ears again.
"Nothing that I do seems to fucking matter, I've called therapists, I've tried to get you to go. I tried at home management. I tried giving you your space. Chan tells me not to hover, Hyunjin tells me to be open minded, Changbin tells me to guide you in the right direction but all that you want is the fucking alcohol. I've stayed up night after night worrying about you. I've cried during practices, I've cried on the phone with my sister, I've cried so fucking much because I'm losing you. You're standing right in front of me but I don't know who you are."
"Felix - " You take a step towards him, reaching for him but he takes a step back, shaking his head and cutting you off.
"No I can't, I don't want to hear it. I know that you're hurting, I understand that but I can't ignore my own pain anymore." Felix leans against the counter, hands in his hair as he slides down onto the floor.
"I quit, Y/n. I can't take it, I can't watch you kill yourself." His voice is softer now. He's sitting on the cool kitchen tile, knees to his heaving chest.
Tears fall from your eyes as you watch him. The weight of the moment is crashing down on you and you can't help but to crash with it. You can feel it all creeping up on you, the pain that you fought so violently to avoid is doubled. You were so focused on the person that you'd lost that you ended up pushing away the person that you still have. Dealing with grief is hard, it's earth shattering and painful but adding to the pain doesn't help. All of the drinks that you've had up until this point aren't worth the sight in front of you. It isn't worth hearing your boyfriend scream at the top of his lungs. It isn't worth seeing your boyfriend break right in front of you.
You double over, sobbing into your hands as you take it all in. You stop fighting the pain, falling to your knees. Mumbled apologies fall from your mouth as you try your best to explain but none of it makes sense. You want to give him an explanation, you want to be vulnerable for the first time in the last month since you lost your best friend. You want to hug her, Felix, yourself.
Felix would usually comfort you, but not tonight. Tonight he's decided to save himself. Tears decorate his freckled cheeks as he pulls himself from the floor, he looks over at you for a second too long muttering a small 'I'm sorry' before reluctantly leaving the kitchen and slowly climbing the stairs. You listen as he shuts one of the upstairs doors and the tears fall faster, sobbing harder into your hands.
Is it too late? Did you drive him away? You can't lose him too, you can't take that. You hug yourself tight, trying your best to feel some type of warmth, some type of comfort but it isn't enough. Your breath catches in your throat as everything plays over in your head. You feel heavy with pressure, you're a balloon that's slipped from a child's hands into the sky. You can feel yourself drifting away until you hit the atmosphere and suddenly, you pop.
Screams fill the quiet space around you. Your throat burns as you let it all out, every word you didn't get to say to your best friend, every tear that you refused to cry, all of it comes tumbling out in a raw display of pain. Grief in its purest form.
289 notes · View notes
phoenixcavalier · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
Pink sunset last night :)
1 note · View note
tranzjen · 7 days
Text
🩷🩵🤍 5 Days Until my Surgery 🤍🩵🩷
Tumblr media
(Picture taken September 1, 2022)
I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 6 below the cut.
Part 1 here
Me and my partner got back together and got a place together and we still live in this apartment together 🥰 I also worked at worked at a local amusement park over the summer that had some fun but mostly was horrible due to angry customers that kept misgendering me and kids making fun of me 🙃 But also I'll say I had one of my most euphoric moment when this little girl pointed to her winged eyeliner and said "you're just like me!" Bc I also had winged eyeliner at the time 🥰
Tumblr media
(Picture taken June 6th, 2022)
Also, if the last Era was the peak of my egirl era on twitter than this was the fall of my egirl era 📉
I remember reaching 10k followers and thinking "ok I have enough of a following to try to make money off this." It's what a lot of egirls on there did and as I stated above, I hated my job. I thought briefly about streaming and YouTube but I don't really have the personality for streaming and was too self-conscious of my voice to do YouTube. And there were a lot of sex workers on twitter that I knew, followed, and admired. And there was quite the market for trans sexual content. Also I wanted to basically be paid to look pretty all day 🤷‍♀️ So, I made a OnlyFans account and started promoting it.
Tumblr media
(Picture taken May 9th, 2022)
And I quickly got shadow banned for it 😂 And frankly, I wasn't really meant for sex work. I'm not really a sexual person. I do enjoy sexual acts but doing them for money killed my drive for it. I made a few hundred dollars but I didn't make enough content for it to keep it up.
Also, the shadow banned revealed how unhealthy my relationship with Twitter was. My self worth would be highly dependent on how well my posts did that day (I was still posting pictures daily). And I was hypercritical of my picture quality and my physical features. And developed a bad habit of comparing myself to girls I considered prettier than me. And with the constant misgendering from work, I was at a big low 🥲
Tumblr media
(Picture taken September 17th, 2022)
I remember this was when there was first talk about Elon buying Twitter and I was looking for an alternative and well... ended up here.
Tumblr media
(Picture taken June 2nd, 2022)
I remember the idea between this pic was clothes and accessories that weren't explicitly queer but gave queer vibes.
Also talking about queerness, I also participated in a Drag Show! I played a mushroom fairy!
Tumblr media
(Picture taken August 13th, 2022)
It was organized by this local queer nonprofit that did a lot in the community and was already a big part of my life but would become a bigger part of my life.
Also this was when I was done with the curly girl method. And I like how my hair looks like this and it's easier 🤷‍♀️
Tumblr media
(Picture taken September 4th, 2022)
Also love how often I get used out of this mushroom beret 😁🍄😁 (which is why I have 2 pics with it on this post lol)
Also an update on my love life at this time. I at one point had 4 partners very briefly and was part of a polycule over over 22 people. I remember one of my metamours made a chart showing all the relationships and it was complicated 😅 Also it was mostly online. Like 2 of my partners were long distance relationships.
Tumblr media
(Picture taken Oct 2nd, 2022)
Around my 23rd birthday, I decided to do what was best for my mental health and quit twitter. But I had two last pictures because I got them from some followers who bought me things from my Amazon wishlist I made for my birthday.
Tumblr media
(Picture taken October 29, 2022)
This one would be useful for the next era. And you can see a small part of my large collection of plushies (which I have a project in mind for 👀)
Tumblr media
(Picture taken on November 8th, 2022)
And this was the last picture I posted on Twitter before quitting at 36k followers. I had already stopped posting on it for awhile so you can imagine my surprise when I got a big pink teddy bear 😱 And for all the work I put into that account, I consider this a pretty good prize 🧸💕
I consider Tumblr my last attempt with having a healthy relationship with social media. If this account goes away, I'll probably be done with Social Media 🤷‍♀️ I think I'm getting better at breaking those bad habits I developed on Twitter while still trying to enjoy the art of dressing up and taking selfies. But, I don't know if I'll ever have the drive for it like I did during my twitter days.
With my summer job ending and twitter as a way to make a living out of the window you may be concerned with how I recovered but I got really lucky and I'll go into detail on that tomorrow 😁
86 notes · View notes
Text
Learn to Love
Request: Can you like write something about jake and the reader being in an ‘arranged marriage’ and jake coming home after the ceremony and fucking his anger out on the reader consensual ofc 🛐🛐🤭
This one goes out to @yourmomdotcum69. Sorry it took so long, bae!! But it's finally here!! <3
Did I proofread this? No. So if you see mistakes, please don't 🙃
-----
Your heart is beating out of your chest. You can barely hear the Tsahik as she speaks of Eywa and this union and how it will be prosperous for all.
Your breathing is heavy, uneven, terrified.
You don't even dare glance at your betrothed, at the oloeyktan. He seems calm, seems to be pleased by this, but there's something in his eyes that tells you otherwise...
When the match had been made, you were sure you'd find a way to get out of the arrangement. You were convinced Toruk Macto would choose someone else. You thought the Tsahik would rethink her decision.
Turns out, you were in denial the whole time.
It's happening now. You and Jake are being sacredly united. Nothing will be able to pull you apart, and if you try to leave, you will bring shame to yourself and your family.
You have to stick with this. Have to learn to love him...or at least coexist with him peacefully.
As the ceremony slowly comes to a close, you think to yourself, I'll give him kids. Two, probably. That's all that duty requires from me. There's no reason to go beyond that...
The ceremony is consummated. The People cheer. They offer you compliments and hugs and bracelets and necklaces. You feel numb. You can barely breathe.
Jake Sully is attractive, of course, and you're not upset at the union...You're just...unsure. You're being asked to love and live with someone you barely know...That's what makes you uneasy.
There's a feast after, but for the life of you, you can't remember a single thing about what happens. You offer fake smiles, polite nods, quiet thanks. Your mate barely glances at you the whole time.
When it's over, when night falls, you know as much as he does that it's time to give oneself to each other.
Your legs are trembling, weak as the oloeyktan helps you up from your seat. It's the first time you two exchange so much as a glance. He smiles at you, but it's an empty, forced smile.
You're terrified, nervous, uneasy...So many emotions are running through you and you don't know which to pick.
He leads you to his tent—now your tent as well. He wordlessly leads you inside and closes the tent flaps after himself.
You stand there in your pretty beaded top and ornate necklaces, in your frivolous loincloth and complicated hairdo.
He turns to you with a look of rage in his eyes, but the rest of his body seems completely relaxed. He takes a deep breath, rubbing at his forehead. “Look,” he starts. “This isn't going to be easy. I know, and you know—”
“Oh, it-it's okay,” you quickly say, afraid of displeasing him in any way. “We'll work it out...”
Jake laughs bitterly, his eyes narrow as he looks at you. “There's nothing to work out. We have no choice. All we can do right now is—”
“Mate?”
He blinks at you. “I was going to say set some ground rules...”
You blush but try to brush it off. “Ground rules?”
“Yeah. For our...uh, relationship?”
You frown..“Why would we need rules? We're just a married couple. This isn't some complex battle strategy. It's just...a marriage.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Just a marriage?” he echoes, clearly annoyed. “I'm giving my fucking life to you for the rest of forever and you think it's just a marriage?”
You fold your ears back. “Yes, it is just a marriage. It's just duty,” you counter.
He stares at you, wordlessly, his ears folding back and his eyes narrowing. “Duty,” he says flatly. “I just gave my life to someone who thinks I'm nothing but duty.”
You pause for a moment. “Well...you are.”
Maybe you should've thought that through, huh. You only realize this after the words leave your mouth and you see the look on Jake's face.
He raises an eyebrow, obviously vexed. He steps closer to you. “I'm only duty to you?”
You fold your ears back, tail swinging uneasily, but you stand your ground. “Yes.”
Your brain takes too long to process everything that happens.
Jake's huge body closes the distance between both of you and he grabs you by the throat to hold you against him. “Fucking unbelievable,” he growls, inching his lips to yours. He doesn't give you the chance to protest before he's kissing you roughly, needy, messily as his tongue pushes between your lips to tangle with your tongue.
You gasp softly, sparks shooting over your skin, your breath knocked from your lungs. You kiss him back, your hands holding onto his arms as he pours his rage into your mouth.
While he keeps one enormous hand around your throat, he moves the other one to your waist, pulling you closer so you can feel his hard-on poking your lower stomach.
The feeling makes your ears perk up, tail swinging with anticipation. Your nails dig into his skin and he groans lowly.
The scent of your arousal quickly grows thick in the air and it has Jake's heart racing, his cock twitching at the idea of being inside of you.
He leads you to the ground, trapping you under his large body, one of his thighs sliding between yours to press against your wetting cunt.
You sigh softly at the sensation, opening your eyes to meet Jake's dark, predatory gaze. You're eager for what comes next, curious, almost begging him. Jake can see it in your eyes, widened and pupils dilated as you stare at him, expectant.
“You just got yourself into a fuckton of trouble, girl,” he says, voice low and husky. He leans his mouth towards your neck, kissing your skin, dragging his sharp canines over your pulse. “I'm gonna have t'fuck that idea outta ya, hm?”
You shudder as you feel his teeth on your skin. “What idea?” you question, eyes fluttering shut.
Jake bites down on your shoulder, making you whimper lowly. He whispers in your ear, “The idea that I'm only duty. I'm going to be much more than just duty, you hear me? I'm going to be your man, your mate, your fortress. Understand?” His thigh adds more pressure against your pussy and you moan softly.
“How can I love someone I don't know?”
Jake kisses you again, shutting you up, one of his hands undoing your pretty loincloth with too much ease. He bites your lower lip harshly, surely drawing blood, and you whine.
“You'll learn to love,” he promises. “You'll learn to love me, just like I'll learn to love you.” He gets on his knees to remove his loincloth, and then his huge hands grab you by your hips. He pulls you to him until your ass rests on the top of his thighs.
Your eyes are wide as you stare at him, the scent of your arousal thick. He runs the bulbous head of his cock between your folds, teasing your clit before moving to your entrance. While holding your gaze, he slides into you slowly.
His thick cock forces your gummy walls to stretch in order to accommodate his size. You dig your nails into the rug under you, your back arching slightly as he fills you to the brim. You gasp, moaning gently, you eyes wide as you stare at him.
Jake grunts as your cunt tightens around him. You're so warm, so wet. His cock twitches within you, making your eyes flutter shut.
He doesn't waste a second. He starts pounding you, his hips slamming into yours with each thrust, his fingers digging into your hips. “Goddamn,” he groans. “Oh, fuck. This pussy was made for me, hm? All for me to use.”
You whimper as each thrust sends sparks shooting up your womb, the tip bruising your cervix continously. You mewl, eyes rolling into the back of your head as you struggle to keep up with his pace.
“I'm gonna fuck this pretty pussy until your silly mind gets rid of the idea that I'm nothing but duty to you,” he promises, his ears folding back as he relishes in the sensation of your slick dripping down to his balls.
You can't reply. You only whimper, the pleasure searing your womb, your breaths uneven and ragged.
Jake stares down at you, watching your ornate beaded top open to reveal your bouncing breasts. Fuck, the way he has the urge to leave hickeys all over them, bite them, suck on your pretty nipples.
Some other time, he thinks to himself. Right now, he's enjoying this position too much.
“You're such a fuckin' brat,” he spits, hissing as wave after wave of pleasure washes over his body. “You get mated to the oloeyktan and you're ungrateful about it. That's so disrespectful, such fuckin' bad manners.” He bites his lower lip, groaning lowly. “I'm gonna have to teach you to behave, hm? Teach you to be my good little girl.”
You gasp, body shaking, your eyes struggling to stay on his. Between a few moans, you manage to stutter, “I'm not—I didn't mean to-to misbehave, sir. I'm-I'm sorry.”
He chuckles but it's a dark, rumbling sound that makes your pussy throb. “You're a quick learner, aren't you?” He smirks down at you as he fucks you faster, harder. “You're a star pupil so long as you've got cock in you, it seems. Well, in that case,” he holds onto your hips tighter, threatening to bruise your skin, “I'll make sure to put my cock in you as often as I can. See if I get to shape you into a pretty wife who behaves and doesn't complain about me, huh?”
You mewl as he increases his pace, gasping and trembling, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “J-Jake!” you whimper. “Jake—!”
He spanks your thigh. “It's 'sir' to you,” he says sharply, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You nod, moaning, your chest heaving up and down with each heavy breath. “Sir, I-I can't anymore! 's too much!” you whine, the pleasure within you turning into a coil in your womb, making your body feel like it's curling into itself.
Jake laughs, mean. “Oh, you can. I know you can. And you will,” he says, increasing his pace, his cock bruising your soft gummy walls, making stars dance behind your eyelids. “You're going to take as much as I give you. Without any complaints. I don't wanna hear you whinin' 'bout it, you hear me? If you do, I'll only punish you more. Do you understand me?”
You whimper. You feel like your entire body is on fire, your womb on the verge of bursting. Still, his voice is sharp and full of authority, and you know better than to argue. “Y-yes.”
He spanks your thigh again. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir,” you gasp out, your back arching. “Yes, sir. Yes, sir.”
He chuckles darkly, watching you as you squirm, struggling to manage the pleasure. “Aw, what's wrong, girl?” he mocks, smirking. “You look like you're on the edge of something there.”
You mewl, the ecstasy within you building up, making you unable to think, let alone fucking talk. You can only whimper, desperately nodding your head, feeling the burning pleasure grow within you, coiling tightly.
“Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck!” you cry out, your orgasm rushing to the surface, threatening to leave you dumb from its force. You're a whining, sweaty, writhing mess beneath Jake.
He watches you closely, feeling how near you are to your orgasm from how tight you grow around him. He grunts, his eyes focused on your face as one of his hands splays over your hip, his thumb reaching your clit and playing with the swollen, needy bud.
You moan loudly, eyes rolling into the back of your head, your body trembling as he touches your clit. You mewl and tremble, your orgasm crashing over you, leaving you in a blank state of bliss.
Your ears are ringing, your heart is racing, your breathing is heavy. And you can't really feel anything. As you slowly regain awareness, you realize that Jake's still fucking you, his cock still pounding into you with more vigor and need than before.
You whimper, the pleasure too much, and you can feel a second orgasm growing within you, too strong, too quick.
“N-no!” you stutter out. “No, I can't 'nymore! Please, sir,'s too much!”
Jake keeps going, saying, “Yes, you can. You just have to take it, hm? Take it like a good girl for me, yeah?”
You mewl, legs trembling, eyes fluttering shut. So you take it, mewling and gasping, feeling the pleasure build up within you.
Jake groans, his own orgasm near, and he's getting off on watching you struggle with managing the pleasure.
“I'm gonna fill you up, girl,” he says, his voice thick and husky. “I'm gonna come inside you and I'm gonna give you a baby, hm?”
You whimper, the idea sending shivers down your spine. “Fuck! Yes, sir, please!” you moan, trembling.
He smirks, chuckling lowly. “Yeah, you wanna be full with my baby? Want me to stuff you full, girl? Full of my cum and my baby? Want everyone to know you're mine?”
You mewl, trembling, nodding as you gasp. “Sir! Please, yes, please! Please, sir!”
He chuckles, feeling himself getting closer. “Then imma stuff you full, girl. You're gonna take every last drop, you hear me? Every single drop.”
He keeps pounding you, making you whimper and moan. You come for a second time, your pussy clenching around his cock, sending him over the edge. He groans softly, throwing his head back as he gasps. His orgasm crashes over him, his cock twitching as he comes inside of you. His warm load spills into you, sticky and thick, making you shudder.
“Fuck!” he gasps. “Goddamn, girl. Oh, this pussy's something I could get used to.”
He pulls out of you, making you gasp softly, and he watches his cum drip out of you for a moment before he lies on the ground beside you.
He kisses your forehead gently, wraps you in his arms. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Was I too rough, baby?”
You snuggle up against him, kissing his chest. “I'm okay,” you say, smiling gently.
He chuckles softly. “You did so well for me, you know that, right?” He kisses your shoulder. He's quiet for a moment before softly telling you, “I know this isn't ideal. I know you would've preferred to choose your mate, but...I hope I'm the kind of man you would've chosen. I hope I can make you happy and safe, and I promise to take care of you. And I...” He sighs softly. “I understand if you don't love me. I do. I won't hold it against you. All I ask is that you give me a chance. Let me show you that I can be the man you need...Please.”
You smile gently, cupping his face before kissing his lips tenderly. “I'll give you a chance, Jake. I promise. And I'm willing to love you. Love is always learned, and I'm sure you're someone who's easy to love.”
He grins, pressing his forehead against yours. “Thank you,” he whispers, closing his eyes. “Thank you so much.”
That's all he wants, all he needs. He's willing to move heaven and earth if it means he'll get you to love him. He's keen on making this marriage something more than duty. He's going to make it a home, a family, a fortress.
-----
@kamcrazy123 @yagirlheree @sweetllamaparadise @neytirishottie @crazy4books1
-----
Blog masterlist
593 notes · View notes
tan1shere · 5 months
Note
Okay I am obsessed with film wife! Can you do like a fight imagine? Maybe the reader and Miko get into a huge argument but have to act like everything is okay to everyone else. (With whatever ending you choose) I just wonder how she’d be in an argument.
Make it up to you
Young Miko x Female reader !
Tumblr media
A/n: at your service 😌 enjoy everyone !!
Summary: you both work alot, but Miko has been taking some time off, to have a break. Not for the best reasons. So when you ask nicely the morning before the incident, to do some things around your shared apartment and come back to them not been done. All hell breaks loose. But don't worry she will make it up to you ;)
Warnings: angst, smut, so mdni. Fingering (r!receiving) bathtub sex ?? Mentions of drinking, fair warning I do not speak Spanish so there probably won't be anything in here apart from some names 🙃
Masterlist
She's coming through the door. She had been drinking, you could smell the tangy stench from your stance in the living room, of your small apartment you and Miko shared.
Later that morning
"Hey, do you think you can do a few things for me while I'm at work?" You ask the silvery blonde sitting on the couch, watching TV. She hums. "Miko?" As you say that she looks at you. But briefly. "Yeah yeah sure, whatever you need baby." You put your shoes on. "Just the dishes and the laundry thats piling up in the wash house." You grab your keys, but not before giving her a kiss goodbye. "Please do those things I asked." You smile at her sweetly, she nods in return.
"This is the 4th night in a row you've been out." You speak dryly. You dunno what's gotten into her but she's spiraling. "So what." She shrugs, closing the door and beginning to take off her shoes. "María." Oh she's fucked. "What the hell is up with you, do enlighten me because I'm getting sick of this behavior." She scoffs. "What are you my mother." You furrow your brows at that statement. "I'm swamped with so much shit at work the least you could do is tidy up a bit around here. In our home." She doesn't say anything. You go closer to her. "Baby just tell me what's bothering y-" She looks at you with anger. "You wanna know why I've been out drinking huh? Why I'm taking a break from work. I have absolutely no motivation and all I feel like doing is nothing." She spat, stomping closer to you. You back up a bit confused by this sudden behavior. "And I don't need you nagging me to do stuff all the god damn fucking time." You stare at her. "There's no. Need to take it out on me." She rolls her eyes. "That's the thing. I want to take it out on you. You're infuriating."
Shock. Disbelief. Did she really just say that. Your face softens, you slowly look down. "Maybe you should be the one made to do the dishes." She pokes your shoulder making you move it slightly, grabbing onto it. Feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You wanted to say something, but you just couldn't. So instead you go into your guys room, letting them slowly fall as you grab her pillow and chuck it at her. "You're a fucking asshole." You look at her with the tears streaming down. She's fucked up big time. And she realizes in that moment. "Bab-" But you don't hear it as you slam the door in her face. Curling up on the bed. All you wanted was something nice to come home to. Come home to your loving girlfriend to have some time with her, coming back to a nice clean apartment. After an awful day at your boring job.
But there was none of that. None of her at all. You came home to a mess, making your stress levels increase, making you stress more to find she wasn't even home to greet you. She was out drinking like some old man, who was wishing his life away. That's not Miko. At all. You didn't want to think any longer, bringing the sheets over your body. Crying yourself to sleep.
You woke up early the next morning like you usually did. Getting ready to enter hell, putting on a smile. Miko was never awake at this time so you prayed you didn't have to conversate with her until atleast later on in the evening. You leave your guys shared room to see her on the couch, dead asleep. You let out a tiny breath of relief. Heading out the door quietly to go to work.
You try to get the right key about to open the door. You had come home later and let's just say you were very tired. You were fully expecting Miko to be gone. Again. But confusion washed over you when you smelt food? You open the door more to see the table set with a full meal. You look around. Dishes, clean. "Miko?" You call out, as you set your stuff down. You look into your apartment further hearing a tap going, you head for the bathroom seeing her kneeling at the bath putting some bubbles in there and fixing up a few last things. You melt at the fact she's done all this.
She notices your presence. Quickly standing. "I uhm. I apologize for last night, and- the many nights before." She sighs but continues. "It was wrong of me to say what I said it truly was. You work so hard, I never really realized nor appreciated it. You're amazing and to have to deal with my ass like you do is amazing. Again, I'm so deeply sorry." You smile at her, immediately going to kiss her with so much passion. "Thank you for all of this. But I just want to say. You can come to me my love. If you're going through something I'm here, always will be. You don't needa go off drinking like some middle-aged man. You have me." You say with so much adoration. She smiles at you and nods. "I love you."
"I love you." After a moment she gestures for you to follow her. "I cooked." Your smile widens. You love when she cooks for you, she makes the best food. "It smells amazing baby." That made her truly happy inside. "I'm so glad you like it." She kisses your cheek and joins you at the table.
As you finish you lean back into your chair. "Ah ah- I already planned your bath, then you can have some well needed rest. I might of gotten you the day off.. For 3 days." You look at her, even more confused then you were, when you came in. "How- what- huh?" She nods, going to stand. "I did some persuading." She winks at you, earning a light chuckle from your lips. "I missed this. Us having our meals. You." She rubs your arm. "I won't let what happened last night happen ever again. It was wrong and hurtful, again I'm so sorry mama." You just hug her, feeling so grateful for what you had with her.
"Right bath time. Go get ready- we'll un ready rather. But go do that and I'll get you the last things you'll need." You get on your tiptoes to kiss her, scurrying off to the bathroom, the smell was beautiful and calm in there, the lights were a lil dim only source of light was from the small candles littered around. You undress, hoping in and letting out a content sigh, closing your eyes as you let the warmth go over your body. Miko comes in with a fresh towel and your night clothes. Setting them on the counter. She gives you a smile before leaving. "Wait-" You make her stop in her tracks. Turning to face you.
"Please join me, will you?" She begins to walk back in taking her shirt off, and everything else getting in with you. You move so she can squeeze in behind you, putting her arms around your torso and holding you close. "Thank you." You say with a genuine smile. "You're so very welcome." A comforting silence fell upon the room. Until it started to get steamy, and no not because of the water temperature. Her hands start to slowly move over your body. Inching closer to where you need her. "Please.." You blurt out. She hushes you gently. "I will, promise. I wanna take care of my girl." You bit your lip as her hand came closer. Closer. Then boom, that amazing feeling of her fingers sent a shockwave through your body, reaching her destination. You let out a soft moan, feeling her fingers creeping to your center.
Slipping them in with ease, she began to move them in you. Adding another finger, stretching you out. You let your head fall back onto her shoulder. "Good apology?" She breathes out watching as you begin to grind your hips down on her hand. "Mhmm-" You let out, cutting it short with yet another moan. "F-feels so good." "Only the best for you mama, only the best." You bit your lip as she increases the speed, letting your mouth hang open as you near your orgasm. She feels it, feels you clench. "There you go, cum for me mi amor." The name rolled off her tongue effortlessly. Not the only thing she can do with that tongue. You let go almost immediately. Letting out the most pretty sounds (according to her) she continues until you are completely finished. Removing her fingers, and using her other and to brush hair out of your face. It was safe to say, she was never going to do what she did again.
80 notes · View notes
abyssalaerlocke · 6 months
Text
Gortash, Fear, & Loneliness
I can't believe this ship is my first and possibly only post on here, but here we are.
I keep thinking about how Gortash's outfit is enchanted against fear, and how it explains so much of his apparent personality and behaviour, etc. (like wholeheartedly and earnestly wanting to ally and rule with people he has no reason to trust — it feels careless). When you consider his past, it's easy to understand why he would protect himself against fear, and without that coat, it's probably easy for it to sneak back in.
I do consider it canon that he and Durge were something to each other — whether that was romantic, sexual, platonic. Whether their feelings had been openly expressed to each other or were resisting — they were important to each other. They appreciated, respected, admired, loved, and felt loved; for the first time in their lives. (something others have delved into well in other posts — I love/hate you for all the thoughts and feelings you've given me 🙃).
When Durge shows up, Gortash shows a lot of feelings — happiness, relief, annoyance and frustration with Orin and what she did... But not fear. The person that meant the most to him, that started to piece him back together — in an emotional way, that all the ambition and control in the world couldn't fix — that he thought he lost forever, had returned to him... and you don't remember him, or what you were to each other. He's a stranger to you.
But Gortash doesn't wallow in it, he's completely optimistic that you'll still be great and rule together — that somehow, you'll mean that, be that, to each other again. Maybe he thinks you'll regain your memory, or he'll start that incredible relationship again from scratch, if he has to. But he really just goes forward as if everything's okay — the most important person in his life is alive, and all the pain of losing you doesn't apply anymore, because you're back.
Here's the thing, though: I think when he finally gets a break, and takes off his coat for the night, it hits him — the person he knew is gone, and he might never get that back. You're walking around, the loss he felt before — probably desperately searching for your remains — is beyond even resurrection, now.
And I think when it sinks in, and the fear that had been held at bay creeps in and takes hold of him again, he falls apart — even just a little — and he feels the weight of loneliness he hadn't realised before Durge...
61 notes · View notes