#my laptop was trying to convince me it was dying for a bit. apparently the charger cord had an issue.

[desatu]

they’re about to drop the weirdest single

ps: i listened to this song almost exclusively while drawing this

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Excerpt#1 of my Gerry Keay/OC Magical/Mythical CollegeAU

CN/TW: Social Anxiety, discussion of mental illness, discussion of past trauma, awkward coming-out, miscommunication, misunderstanding, it/its pronouns for Michael Shelley, he/they pronouns for Gerry, they/them pronouns for OC, narrative mention of Mary Keay, mention of alcohol, mythical people living in a parallel society and amongst humans, original character talking German (two sentences; extrapolable from context)

“But sure, you're seeming nice so no problem.” Heaving a relieved sigh, Gerry followed them into the room. The two taking seats in the lower rows of the auditorium, seeing as Gerry’s companion wore glasses. Unpacking their notepads, pencil cases, and Gerry setting up his laptop. There was still time until the lecture was set to begin, so Gerry turned to his table neighbour,

“Your look sends very mixed signals, if I’m being honest.” They grinned, propping their chin up on the back of their hand,

“All the right ones, apparently”, demonstratively looking Gerry up and down. Making them look away, clearing his throat. They laughed,

“Not flirting, don’t worry. I’m Yanis.” He tried masking his relieved sigh best they could,

“Gerry.”

They did pay attention to the lecture, still, Gerry found out a bit more about his dyed ginger saviour. Yanis was in the same semester and some of the same courses has he was. Though they didn’t study for the same engineering degree, there was a decent overlap. Some courses Gerry needed for his software engineering degree much the same as Yanis needed for mechanical engineering. They easily offered they could study together. Yanis having been at the campus since they started their degree and knowing the ins and outs of it.

Having easily found common ground in their discipline of study, as well as their taste in music, Gerry had no qualms following Yanis to the canteen for a late breakfast. They kept chatting, switching back and forth between languages.

“So what if you’re 31?”, Yanis shrugged,

“I also had to take care of my health first. Plus we’re both neurodivergent so starting a college degree at all is more stressful to us. It’s not like anyone is rushing you.” Gerry rolled their eyes,

“Still. Being autist and depressed doesn’t exactly help my case here. That’s ignoring the ADHD and trauma.” A painted-black nail flicked his nose,

“Nope. None of that, you’re not demanded to keep pace with anyone and if your personal reasons bared you from even looking into college education until you were 25, then that’s how it is. Besides, it’s eight years between us. Don’t be dramatic.” Gerry tried to glare but they simply raised a brow in challenge, shutting him right up. While they weren’t in the same major, they compared their course schedules some more and found they were in the same philosophy and ethics courses for their minor. Gerry having decided to not put that on hold and taking the according courses in his semester in Germany as well.

By the end of the day, Gerry felt they had a better handle on his new college-everyday and possibly even made a friend. Which raised a few problems all of its own.

While Gerry had no problem with Yanis finding out what concretely had delayed his life so much, they had another problem. Gerry wasn’t human. And neither was their best friend Michael, for the matter, it being a changeling and his nature chaotic to a fault. Gerry themself was, depending on what one believed, involuntarily threatening to humans.

His mother having been a hulder, a mythical being almost looking like a human. The feature most telling of their mythical nature, though, the fact that they look hollow if seen in the right light, from the right angle. Akin to forest spirits, hulders were drawn by their nature to lure townspeople into forests. Not inherently malicious, of course, their blonde hair and fair skin drawing mostly men in.

With an established mythical society existing in parallel to the non-magical human society, there were laws and proper paperwork surrounding magical and mythical people’s “otherness” and characteristics.

Characteristics which were the life-long obsession of his mother. Her trying to create offspring of her own that would be inherently dangerous to humans and as malicious as she had been. Gerry hated thinking about his father almost more than he hated his mother. But matter of fact was, being half-hulder, and his father having been a river-nix, Gerry was… alluring. Drawing people in without them realising as much if he acted the wrong kind of way towards them. Gerry forced to be constantly mindful of their nature, as to not accidentally harm someone.

Which was why they usually didn’t make friends. Having to make sure the person wasn’t human as to not endanger them.

And yet, they got stuck with Yanis. Gerry was glad it was autumn, the chance of light hitting him in just the wrong way dwindling. But he couldn’t help their worried unease, recognising Yanis and them grew closer.

It wasn’t that Gerry was set out to avoid Yanis, having taken them up on an invitation to lunch and even to revise notes and study together. But Gerry had a bad feeling about it, especially when he grew to see them as a friend. They did try bringing some more distance between them, an attempt so he didn’t need to outright evade Yanis. Declining their invitations more often than not, excusing themself and finding reasons to convince himself it was the right thing to do.

Having forced himself to take a step back, Gerry caught themself looking for them. It had started so he could more easily get around them, trying to deter Yanis from inviting him in the first place so they didn’t have to turn them down as often.

Gerry wasn’t oblivious to their whole demeanour getting muted once it had clicked that he was trying to push distance between them. But seeing Yanis less cheery and energetic made Gerry realise some things about them.

Yanis wasn’t much smaller than him, a few inches at most. But they carried themself in a way that made them stand out. Gerry had learned Yanis had chronic pain, making it hard on them to be on their feet the entire day. Rarely, they wore leg braces, limiting their range of motion further than their chronic pain already did. Still, Yanis was confident and most days glossing over their frequent aches with relative ease. It had been more apparent when they hadn’t been upset but the way Yanis walked was… with purpose. Every step seeming deliberate and not to be questioned. While that cocksure confident way to carry oneself wasn’t all that remarkable, it stood out in Yanis.

And Gerry needed a good long while to figure out why.

Michael had badgered them to get out and socialise. It was the last week before winter break and there was a social happening of the engineering faculty. Gerry had put on a nice button shirt and proper slacks before touching up their black nail polish and putting on a hint of eyeliner.

Yes, he was cautious not to accidentally draw humans in but that didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to tart themself up. Gerry hadn’t even really planned to talk to anyone, if they were being honest. Just mingling among people and feeling alone in the crowd instead of feeling alone by himself.

That was, until aquamarine and black varnished fingers held a bottle in his field of vision. Gerry couldn’t fight down his smile before closing their eyes. Shaking his head, they just let it happen. Let that gentle affection wash over him for just a moment.

“Thought you might be here tonight”, Yanis held out the drink,

“The crown cap is still sealed.” Gerry pulled a face as to not smile despite themself. He sighed,

“You’re quite persistent.” Yanis raised a rather expressive brow at him,

“If you honestly wanted me gone, you would have told me. So I dare say you don’t want me completely gone. It’s nice having someone who can keep up with my ADHD jumping through topics, plus being able to overlook what allistics call me weird for.” When he finally took the bottle, their smile turned from friendly to bright. He bit his lip, trying to hide it behind the bottle. Yanis offered them their bottle opener.

“Got me there. And yes, having a neurodivergent friend is quite unwinding”, he admitted. Opening the drink, Gerry took them in. A proper once-over. They weren’t primped either but certainly had put thought into their casual suit not clashing with their once-again stark-red hair. Gerry having seen Yanis cycling through vibrant red washing out to ginger, before they went back to dyed poppy-red.

Gerry felt admittedly awkward standing together with them. Very much aware of how they had avoided them after all. Nursing their drinks, they kept quiet. Even though Gerry noticed Yanis also taking in his appearance. After some time he sighed,

“I’m sorry. It’s…”, they broke off, shaking his head.

“Complicated?”, Yanis offered with a huff,

“That’s one way to put it, I suppose.” Gerry raised a brow at them. Before he could ask what they were referring to, though, Yanis turned to him properly.

“Did you notice there’s a dance floor?” They blinked in surprise,

“Uh… yea, I did.” Yanis snorted, taking his empty bottle from them and depositing the glass on a nearby tray for used tableware.

“So, can you dance?”, Yanis’ smile inviting and warm,

“And would you dance with me?” Gerry froze, biting his lip and looking away. He knew they shouldn’t. They were very much aware that Yanis needed to keep their distance from him. He swallowed thickly,

“I can dance but…” Yanis hummed expectantly.

“We shouldn’t, okay? I don’t want to elaborate on that.” Yanis’ face cleared as they gave a soft ‘oh’ of understanding.

When Gerry looked back at them, Yanis was looking at them. The expression in their eyes making him pause. A glint of intent, resolve. But their overall demeanour had changed as well. That deliberate way they carried themself was back, not in a way that intimidated. But even standing next to Gerry, he could see they were moving with an intent, with a conscious focus on the way they moved to get there.

Yanis licked their lip,

“I will respect your turndown. But I would like you to know that I know.” Gerry froze. Raising a brow, Yanis’ tone turned gentler still,

“And I really don’t want to push you towards anything. Or put you up to anything.” Gerry felt his amusement bubbling up when Yanis said as much. The idea of someone human inciting a mythical or magical person to anything at all seemed a bit laughable.

“I’m aromantic myself”, they shrugged,

“And asexual.” Their smile turning into a bit of a smirk, cheeky just around the edges. Gerry’s face cleared in surprise, his jaw dropping a bit. His amusement freezing over with a faint ‘oh’ of their own. Before he grimaced,

“I am aromantic, yes, but that’s not it. I’m sorry, you’re a really nice person. You have been nothing but friendly and a reliable friend at that. It’s…”

Yanis closed their eyes, brows raised, before they snorted.

“Let me stop you right there. I know you have been avoiding me, I have respected that you were avoiding me”, they looked him in the eye,

“If you want me gone, I won’t bother you again. I’ll be out of your hair and we don’t have to even talk again.” Gerry felt his face fall, nervously biting his lip once more. Yanis wasn’t done just yet,

“But if you would like to, I want to get to know you”, a short jerk of their head,

“Properly get to know you. I think both our first gut feeling about the other was that we could become pretty great friends. And that’s all I’m suggesting.” Gerry needed a moment to process that. To let sink in that Yanis was really just curious about his friendship. Something they had so far always had to be wary around. At least until Gerry knew whether the person in question was human. Yanis huffed,

“While you process whether to give us a try, I’ll get us new drinks.” Gerry blinked, then nodded when they realised Yanis was waiting on his okay. Another one of those bright friendly smiles before they turned away. Gerry didn’t know what it was but they followed Yanis with his eyes. Their red hair easy to make out even in the crowd.

Just as he was about to turn away, he noticed something. Yanis was a very body-aware person, conscious and deliberate to a point it might seem standoffish. They had explained how it related to their chronic back and joint pain. But as Gerry watched them move through the crowd, he realised just how easily they moved around people. Almost light-footed, turning out of others’ ways with ease.

Despite them being almost as tall as him, and dressed in dark clothes, something about Yanis’ way through the crowd seemed almost airy.

It didn’t fit. It should have clashed immensely.

As they moved back towards him, Gerry realised what had been so weird about Yanis’ bodily confidence. They didn’t seem to make way for themself. Not at all. While that sureness was clear as day, written all over their most minute movements.

The way Yanis moved was the harsh opposite. Gerry was tempted to call it floaty. He knew they could make a way for themself through people, had witnessed as much a few times in the bustle of the campus. But how Yanis moved around people seemed just as natural.

Not even the slightest touch between them and the people around, as if some shimmer was keeping Yanis from being touchable. Kept up their airy strut, as if they weren’t turning and stepping around people.

The contrast did not make sense. And seeing as Gerry’s best friend was a changeling, well, if things didn’t make sense, it was likely some faerie or other was involved.

Which, on the one hand, would mean Yanis was safe from his own magic. But on the other hand it would raise so many more questions around them. About them.

Gerry couldn’t help his sceptical look when Yanis returned. Frowning at them, unsure whether to trust what they had seen.

“You're looking at me like that again”, Yanis raised a brow at him. Gerry gnawed his bottom lip,

“You’re a bit of a mystery, if I’m being honest.” But took the offered bottle none the less. Yanis’ warm smile returned,

“Well, I suppose it’s on you whether you care to figure me out, then.” An easy shrug as they raised a brow at him.

Gerry didn’t reply. They had not clue what to reply to that. And what they wanted to reply in the first place. Yanis didn’t push him. Much to Gerry’s relief. They fell back into companionable silence, emptying their drinks. When the bottles were empty, Yanis looked at him for a long moment. Searching their face. Yanis’ expression fell a bit, their smile not reaching their eyes anymore. Still, they only grimaced a little before sighing,

“So… have a good night, then.” Taking his empty bottle to take it away with their own, Yanis turned to go. Looking back over their shoulder,

“I guess I’ll see you around.” And with a final shrug and smile, they were gone in the crowd. Gerry stared after them before he closed their eyes and sighed. Silently cursing themself, he turned away from the crowd as well. One hand coming up to cover his mouth. Yanis had been right, if Gerry really had wanted them gone, he could have told them as much anytime. If they had wanted Yanis gone, he could have told them as much when they literally offered to leave him alone.

But Gerry didn’t. Because Gerry hadn’t and still didn’t want them gone.

They spent another few minutes turning things over in his head. What he had to consider if they really tried building a genuine friendship with Yanis.

Once he started looking around for them, Gerry regretted their delay. Not able to make out the red shock of hair, Gerry pulled out his phone. If he couldn’t find Yanis, he might at least tell Michael about his hunch. They had been friends for forever but Gerry still wasn’t all that confident to make out people that were connected to faerie. It was his best idea at the moment but he might just as well be off. Asking Michael for his opinion was a solid thing, also maybe it could distract Gerry if they really didn’t find Yanis again. Which meant Gerry would have to approach them around their next shared lecture.

Pocketing their phone, he looked up and around once more.

And huffed in amusement, Yanis standing almost directly in his line of vision. Albeit turned from them and leaning with their chin propped up over a bar table. Despite having avoided them, Gerry knew their usual posture well enough to see Yanis had to adjust to their pain at the moment. Holding their weight cautiously and reducing tension in their back and legs. Coincidentally, Yanis was looking at their own phone when Gerry came closer. And if he wasn’t mistaken, they were looking at the recent chat chronic between the two of them. The small frown pulling down the corner of Yanis’ lips gave Gerry a weird boost of confidence.

As he stepped up to the table, Yanis looked up.

“Du schon wieder”, they raised a brow but their frown had vanished. The quip good natured and accompanied by a small smile. Gerry couldn’t help smiling themself. With a slight head-tilt, he shrugged,

“Well, I can admit that I went looking for you.” Feeling a blush creep up on him, they tried fighting down his smile. Yanis turned to them fully, still with one elbow leaning on the table, they raised a brow. Giving Gerry a once-over. A short jerk of their head,

“Okay, und?” Gerry took a deep breath,

“You wanted to dance with me”, he shrugged,

“How about that invitation?” Yanis’ smile brightened a bit, stepping away from the table and coming closer. They offered him a hand,

“Your lead or mine?”

[minyoonmeme]

Normalcy of the Pretty Posse

Chapter 1 

Word Count: 2494

Pairing: reader x ?????

Genre: like 90% fluff, 10% stupid jokes and bad humor

Description: Stupid Jeongguk and his cute sweaters and pretty posse of hyungs. 

(Disclaimer: This will probably have some typos. I started writing this instead of doing some Statistics homework and spent so long on it that I have zero time to edit. Sorry~)

next

masterlist

There was no game plan. There never really had been, at least not for me. Making it past 16 was something I had never foreseen, never imagined I could do. And now, here I am, alone in a country in a university far from home with no idea how life is supposed to go. Okay, maybe I’m being pessimistic because I’m not completely alone. I have friends if you count the two idiots who don’t let me drown in takeout boxes on weekends. They’re wonderful, they really are, I promise. 

Yoonjin is the sweetest person I’ve ever met no matter how much I want to strangle her into putting herself first. She’s the one who calls me about anything and everything. Don’t tell her that I secretly love that she calls me first when something happens. Chaebin is my right hand gal. My broski. My homegirl. My uh… well she’s great honestly. She’s all bark and no bite with the strongest affiliation for cute things, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. These two are pretty much my whole life other than the impending doom of my failing future that I have chosen to personally personify. Makes it less scary if it's punchable, honestly. 

“Are you gonna actually do your work or are you gonna stare at your coffee all day?

Rolling my head to the side, I eye Chaebin with the blankest face I can muster. 

“I didn’t ask to be criticized when I asked you to come to the library with me.” 

“No, but you did ask me to make sure you finish your paper in time for practice tonight. Yoonjin will cry if you let her go by herself again.” I groan, throwing my head against the cushion of the booth’s chair. She’s right, I know she is. I’ve missed two weeks of dance workshops and Yoonjin, without missing a beat, after every workshop comes knocking on my door teary eyed and sputtering about how she was all alone and lost without me there. Food usually helps soften her up. 

“You think she’ll forgive me if I miss just one more week?” Chaebin twitches her eyebrow up as she side eyes me from her computer. I slump even further and push my laptop farther away in favor of laying my head down. “You’re right. She’ll probably accuse me of abandoning her and our friendship if I skip one more time.” 

“I’ve literally seen you pump out a 12 page research paper in 3 hours, just go dance or whatever tonight and stress yourself later.” 

“Anxiety and Red Bull are a toxic combo, but I’ll have you know that I got a 94 on that paper.” Smiling smugly, I turn my head to look at her. She’s not wearing her glasses today, so it’s hard to tell if she’s glaring at me or blind today. “If I bail, are you gonna be okay by yourself? I can swing by afterwards with Yoonjin, so you don’t have to walk home alone tonight.” 

Her glare softens as she shakes her head no before grabbing some eyedrops. Oh. So she is wearing her contacts. “No, I’ll be okay. I came packing.” Her right hand pats her bag before she smirks and continues searching through her syllabus. 

I eye her bag warily and half jokingly say, “Please, tell me you don’t have a gun.” 

Her face scrunches as she stares at me. “Are you stupid? Why would I have a gun? I meant I have my phone and a taser. Do I look like I know how to shoot a gun?” 

I shrug and start packing up my bag. My joints scream and pop from being stationary so long. “I am, do I look like I know how to shoot a gun? You never know Chae, I could be a highly skilled marksman just waiting to take someone out. I might not even be a real college student, just a really good undercover assassin.” 

Her nose twitches as she clicks open a few browsers. “You almost cried last night when you saw a stray cat ignore you. I highly doubt you’re killing anyone these days.” 

“Animals love me and that one hurt, don’t use my feelings against me. Don’t you remember when you cried because you thought I was ignoring you last year?” Her face dropped as she coughed into her shirt, trying to hide the red splotches. “I was literally sick for three days and you came to my apartment with food because you thought I hated you. What was it you said? Something about not being allowed to hate you if you fed me.” 

“We don’t talk about junior year, I was going through it.” Her voice was tight, but I could tell she was amused. “It’s almost 6 o’clock, you should text Yoonjin and tell her that you’re not abandoning her tonight.” She slides my bag towards me and lets me scoot past her out of the booth. 

“Yoonjin and I will be by later to walk you back to your apartment around 9:30. Sound good?” My legs wiggle as I try and get a feeling back into them from sitting so long. When I stand there longer than normal, her eyes flash up as she nods and waves her hand at me to leave. 

To: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

You wanna meet outside the commons tonight or walk over together?

From: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

WAHH 

YOU”RE COMMING? No more awkwardly standing in the back by myself!?!?!? :)))))))

[crying egg dog.pdf]

let’s meet in the the commons

To: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

7? By the double doors upstairs?

From: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

No, no, no my friend come ASAP. We have much to discuss.

To: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

Uh okay???? See you in like 10 minutes I guess??? 

From: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

See you! <3

_______________________________________________________________________

“You actually did come.” Yoonjin’s hand reaches out and pinches my arm before she settles back against the wall. “I thought for sure your text was all some weird daydream I had conjured up.”

“Chaebin convinced me that our friendship was on the line if I left you alone at another workshop for the third week in a row.” My bag landed on the ground as I slide down next to Yoonjin. Her hair, newly cut and dyed to a short choppy greyish purple bob, was still something I needed to get used to. Yoonjin had failed her midterm last week and as a result decided that her hair would rejuvenate her life and, thus, her will to study. I still don’t think she’s bought her textbooks for this semester yet, but that’s not my business. 

“As she should! It was your idea to start coming to these dance things, and you left me!” Despite her anger, she still turned her smoothie toward me as an offering. “I look like a loose limbed monkey in there. At least with you there, you explain the steps to me.” I choke on the smoothie a little bit, as she crosses her arms.

“Loose limbed monkey? Yoon, you look fine! These workshops are meant for people who don’t have dance experience. It was your idea to try dancing, I just found a place to do it” Her face contorts as she sips on her smoothie again, shaking it to mix it up and get some frustration out. 

“It wouldn’t be so bad if people like you or Jeong-fucking-guk didn’t kept coming. It’s not fair to suck and then have to watch you two just like magically do it.” Her head gets thrown back with a thud as she grunts. Immediately I laugh and rub the back of her head in oder to soothe the soon to be ache. 

“I can go if you want since you seem to not want me or Jeongguk here apparently.” Her eyes dart over to me in the most non threatening but threatening way possible for someone like her. “Okay, so I’ll stay. Make your mind up Yoonjin, I can’t keep playing these games with you.” I click my tongue against my teeth as she smacks my thigh closest to her. “You said something about Jeongguk coming right? Since when does he come out to these things? I thought he was a dance and choreography minor? Shouldn’t he be with the big dogs or something in like a real class dancing?” 

Yoonjin hums, offering me the rest of her smoothie. It’s a green looking health smoothie from a self proclaimed health bar down the street. It’s for sure my favorite, and definitely not her’s, so I take it and nudge her as a thanks. “That’s the thing, I didn’t even know he went to these things. Usually I just hang out with you and everyone else who hides in the back with me, but last week he came up to me and asked if you were still coming.” I raise my eyebrows in surprise and nod for her to continue. “I told him you’ve been busy and he kinda just nodded and shuffled away. He did tell me to tell you to take it easy though.” “Were you ever planning on telling me that a boy approached you about me?” 

“I'm telling you now and that’s all that matters. Besides, I thought you swore off men after the mishap freshman year with that one Tinder date.” 

Immediately my face heats up, and I grimace at the memory. “We don’t talk about that for a good reason, you brat.” If she’s mad I called her a brat, her smug smile doesn’t show it. I go to open my mouth and further yell at her for bringing up the traumatizing story when a pair of black heavy boots skids to a stop by my stretched out legs. 

Okay, so here's the thing about Jeon Jeongguk . He is terrifyingly good looking. So much so that looking at him hurts, like physically hurts. Jeon Jeongguk could punch me in the face and I would say thank you for the attention and bow before passing out. Okay, that’s perhaps way too far but he is attractive and built. God, is he built. And he’s not even an asshole about it! Most guys who exercise thrive on showing off their bodies and flaunting their muscles. Not Jeon Jeongguk , though., Nope! Jeongguk wears sweaters and button ups that make him resemble a Korean version of Mr. Rogers. All smiles and kind eyes with a heart of gold. Men like Jeongguk are the reason I have heart issues and top notch acting skills. 

“You’re back!” My eyes blink a few times at Jeongguk before I register that he's looking at and me actually speaking. When I don’t say anything Jeongguk fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt and looks at Yoonjin before letting out a cough. He speaks a little calmer now, more airy and rushed. “Yoonjin said you’ve been busy and I was worried you weren’t gonna come back ‘til next semester. Not that I worried about you or like not not worried about you, but uh…” He sputtered a little and lets out a small huff of air before ruffling his hair back. My lips pressed together as I swing from internally swooning over his cuteness to the attractiveness of him pushing his hair back. “It’s good so see you back. Hobi hyung, says it's good to have some experienced people in the class to encourage and help beginners.”

“Is that why you keep coming too?” 

Maybe he doesn’t expect my question or for me answer him at all, but he blinks a little too hard and shyly looks over my shoulder rather than my face. It’s cute and maybe it makes a smile break out on my face. Just maybe though. “Yes! Hobi-hyung asked me to help him since he can’t uh ya know help everyone at once.” He doesn’t sound too sure of himself, but I let it go seeing as this is our first comprehensible conversation. 

“That’s sweet of you to help your hyung for free. Does Hoseok-shi think I’m there to do the same? I feel a little bad missing the past two weeks if you’ve been doing it all by yourself.” I frown and pinch my eyebrows a little tighter, looking the direction of the doors. Should I apologize? Yoonjin beside me, I can tell, has grown more and more interested in our conversation as she undoubtedly is texting our group-chat with Chaebin about what's happening. She nudges me to focus when the conversation stalls a little. The nerve of her, I swear.

Jeongguk , getting redder and slightly more panicky, shakes his head no a little too roughly. His hair looks a little messed up, and I nearly squeal with the need to fix the adorable mess that he is right now. Outside, however, I just smile softly and encourage him to explain. “Hobi-hyung and I are okay, you’re just like an added bonus to class cause you know you obvious have some experience with your technic and seem to pick up the dances quickly.” It’s a little rushed, but I think I make out everything he’s saying.

“Are you trying to say I’m a good dancer Jeongguk ?” It’s meant to be lighthearted and playful, but Jeongguk physically widens his eyes and looks everywhere, but in my direction for a few seconds before he stops trying to voice anything out just nods. My hands clasp in my lap as a I suppress a smile and will the flush to disappear from my cheeks. “Thanks, you dance really well too. I can see why you’re studying dance.” 

Jeongguk whispers the faintest, “Thank you,” before shoving his thumb in the direction of the door indicating that he’s gonna help them set up for the workshop. I wave goodbye and watch as he does the same and dashes behind the door. Now that he’s gone, I can breathe a little easier. That was probably the weirdest experience I’ve had today, or this week for that matter. Pretty people don’t just go up to me and talk, let alone me of all people. And when I say pretty people, I mean pretty people like Jeongguk and his pretty posse of friends.  Jeongguk and his hyungs are just uncommonly so pretty and somehow together all the time. Even now Jeongguk is inside with Jung Hoseok, a graduate student who hosts the beginner dance workshops on Thursday. The fact that  Jeongguk even talked to me, or asked about me last is enough to twist my insides a little. Normal people talk to people all of the time, but  Jeongguk was not normal and his hyungs are not normal. I mean they are, but they project this ethereal aura that just intimidates everyone. So, why for the love of God was Jeon Jeongguk just talking to me?

“Are we gonna talk about what just happened or are you gonna keep staring at the door?”

“Shut up, I'm trying to process everything.”

[greekgrad12]

know

tlh/son content i didn’t ask for :)

(tw!! mentions of not eating and depression)

**********************************

It had been four months, five days, and twelve hours since Percy Jackson disappeared. Four months, five days, and twelve hours since he kissed her goodnight and went off to his cabin. She was supposed to see him the next day. They had planned to eat breakfast together and then go to the stables to hang out with Blackjack. It was meant to be normal day, and yet, it ended up being the beginning of Annabeth’s worst nightmare. She thought he’d be back by now. She thought she would have been able to find him at this point. 

One week, she would catch herself thinking, He was able to find me in barely one week after Atlas captured me. Why can’t I find him?

The last four months have been hard, but Annabeth had recently fallen into a new kind of despair. Something more than an ache, more than a sinking feeling in her chest. The feeling made her physically ill. Over half of the time, she wanted to scream, and her siblings encouraged it. They tried to convince her that it could help, but she was too numb to ever put in the effort. 

The past week had been her worst one yet. Annabeth barely left bed, let alone the Athena cabin. She spent every day staring at Daedalus’ computer looking through missing people’s reports, searching for strange happenings around the world, and trying to come up with new search plans. She hadn't eaten in days and it was beginning to be noticeable. 

Her brothers and sisters tried to reason with her, but she wouldn't budge. Piper tried to comfort her, but Annabeth didn't want pity. The Stoll’s stopped by and tried to make her laugh, but she barely breathed out a chuckle. Even Will Solace made an appearance and tried to convince her that she needed to be taking better care of herself.

“Percy wouldn't want to see you like this,” he’d said. 

But how would he know what Percy would want? She was his girlfriend. She was his best friend. She was the one who felt like she was dying every morning when she woke up and realized that this wasn’t all a big nightmare. Annabeth was the one who’d lost someone she loved, again, and couldn't do anything about it, again. 

She didn't even have Grover to lean on. If she were to let anyone in right now, it would be either him or Thalia, but they were both off leading the satyrs and hunters in a search party. At least they were doing something. Chiron hadn't let her leave the camp in who knows how long. Apparently, she was too big of a risk in her present state. Annabeth thought that was bullshit. 

Somehow, the girl had managed to feel more weak, useless, and alone then she ever had before, and yet, at the same time, she felt nothing. 

A knock on her cabin door pulled Annabeth from her computer screen. She assumed it would be one of her siblings trying to coax her into coming to dinner again, but she was surprised to see none other than Clarisse la Rue leaning against the door of her cabin, hands behind her back. 

“What are you doing here?” Annabeth’s voice came out croaky. She hadn't spoken all day. 

“Could ask you the same thing,” Clarisse replied as she walked further into the room towards where Annabeth sat on her bunk, “It’s dinner time, princess.” 

Annabeth rolled her eyes at the big girl looking down at her, “I’m not hungry. And I’m busy.” 

Clarisse scoffed, “Yeah, and I don't buy it. You missed breakfast and lunch today, and dinner last night. And the night before, and the night before that.” 

“Like I said, I’ve been busy.” 

“Annabeth,” The end of the bed dipped as Clarisse took a seat. The blonde didn’t want to look up from the laptop, but there was something strange in Clarisse’s voice. She still sounded annoyed, but it was almost comforting, gentle even. 

When she looked at Clarisse, she was met with an expression she’d never really seen on the girl’s face before. It could almost be described as a mix between an aggressive don't bullshit me and a gentle I know. Annabeth hated it. 

I know. 

I know this is hard for you. I know this hurts. I know things will turn out okay. 

For some reason, everyone assumed that they knew what Annabeth was going through. That they knew what she was feeling. But how could they possible understand what she was feeling when she couldn't put it into words herself? Annabeth was no stranger to loss, but this? This was different. She’d always been a tough girl. She’s always been the one who was able to hold herself together and put on a brave face for the sake of doing what’s important. But this? Loosing Percy? Her Seaweed Brain? 

They had been through so much together and so far they’d survived. Together. And now she's facing all of this alone. Annabeth isn't some damsel in distress. She survived without Percy before, so she wasn't sure why she suddenly feels like she can't breathe without him. 

She didn't want to be reminded of those stupid words ever again, “Don't.” 

Annabeth was surprised that Clarisse even heard her. The word came out in a harsh whisper and the waver in her voice didn't help.

Rather than give her the typical pity look, Clarisse just sighed and brought her hands out from behind her back. In her right hand, she was holding a water bottle, in the left, a piece of pizza wrapped in a napkin, extra olives. Annabeth just stared at it.

“Who sent you?”

“Believe it or not, I come by my own free will,” Clarisse placed the food and drink down in front of Daedalus’s computer, “You’ve been ignoring everyone. I think Malcolm was about to send out an Iris Mesage to Thalia and have her bring the hunters back so she could try her hand at talking to you. Figured I’d give it a go before we resort to that.”

“Why do you care if the hunters come here?”

Clarisse got quiet and looked down at the food she’d brought in. There was a look on her face, it almost as if she was contemplating what to say. It took a moment before she finally let out a sigh and spoke up, “Those hunters jump back really quickly. They were back to the hunt in no time after the Titan War. And it’s tradition to have a game of Capture the Flag every time they visit. We haven’t played since before, well, everything-“

“And you don’t want to loose to them again,” Annabeth scoffed. Of course Clarisse would have her own agenda in mind right now. The blonde had half a mind to throw the pizza into her face and-

“No,” Despite Annabeth’s rude tone, Clarisse remained calm, “I just don’t want to fight. Not for a little while longer at least.”

Annabeth wasn’t sure how to react to the confession. She’d never heard an Ares kid say they didn't want to fight. Especially Clarisse.  The other girl must have sensed Annabeth’s confusion, or read it right off of her face, because she explained further, “The um... the last time I was in an actual fight was right after Silena... you know.” 

This time it was Clarisse who was avoiding eye contact. Of course Annabeth knew, she was right there when it happened. She witnessed first hand as Clarisse’s tough walls crumbled at the sight of Silena’s death. No camper was excited about training after the war was over. A majority of the summer had been spent as if they were kids at a normal summer camp and not a bunch of demigods who had just fought in a giant war where half of their friends had died. For a moment, just moment, they were normal. 

But training would have to start again eventually. Wars come and go, but monsters will always return. However, no one was eager to jump back into making a game out of war when they had just barley survived a real one. 

“Yeah...” I know. 

Annabeth stopped before those cursed words could slipped through her lips. She and Silena were very close friends. She missed her all the time. She would be reminded of her when she walked past the Aphrodite cabin, or when she went to see Backjack, or, even worse, when she hung out with Piper. Annabeth loved and missed Silena so much, but she didn't know what Clarisse was going through. 

When Chris came back to camp, Clarisse and Silena became closer than ever. The daughter of Ares found someone she could confide in and trust. A person who she could let her walls down with, but it was more than that. At least, that’s what Annabeth was starting to believe. 

Looking back at the days after the war, Annabeth now realized how familiar this all must be for Clarisse, because she was the exact same way. Well, maybe not the exact same. The daughter of Ares didn't spend her time searching news reports or making up search plans, but she retreated in her own way. It wasn't until Chris intervened that she started to get back to her old self. 

“Clarisse,” Annabeth asked, gently, “How did- I mean, with Silena- you-” 

Clarisse snickered, but it wasn't harsh in any way, “I think this is the first time I’ve heard an Athena kid sound so unsure. Just ask.”

“How did it feel?” the blonde was straining not to let tears fall from her eyes, “When she- when you lost her?” 

“It felt like...” Clarisse bit her tongue and leaned her head back, as if she were trying to hold something back too, “It felt like I’d just lost what made me whole.” 

“Why?” the question came out softer than she’d intended. 

Then, for maybe the first time in her life, Annabeth saw a soft smile appear on Clarisse’s face, “Because I loved her. Just like you love Percy, just like he loves you.” 

Love. 

Annabeth didn’t know when she stopped trying to hold back her tears, but by the time she realized her cheeks were wet, it was too late to do anything about it. 

“I don’t know how you feel, but I know what you’re going through. Though, hopefully, not completely. Jackson is still out there, I know because that headache he always causes me to have is still here,” Annabeth laughed for the first time in months, “Look, I do intend to help you find him, and I will hit him over the head for leaving, whatever the reason, I don't really care. But you have to start taking care of yourself again, Annabeth. What you're doing, it’s dangerous and stupid. Believe me, I know. And we don’t call you Wise Girl because you’re stupid.”

Then, Annabeth did something she never thought she’d ever do. She shut her computer then reached out and gave Clarisse la Rue a hug. Just as Annabeth was sure she was about to get body slammed, the other girl hugged her back. 

“No offense or anything,” Annabeth said, pulling away from the girl and wiping tears off of her face, “but this all seems very un-Clarisse of you.” 

The girl chuckled at that, “Silena taught me to open up about my feelings. I’m beginning to realize that I wouldn't be honoring her if I decided to backtrack into my old secluded ways just because she’s gone. However, that being said, if anyone asks, I came in here, yelled some sense into you, and you don't know about my mushy side.” 

A small smile appeared on Annabeth’s face, “Deal.” 

“Good,” Clarisse said, leaning back onto the bed post, “Now, I'm not leaving until you drink your water and eat your pizza. After this, you're going to the bonfire and having one night off, and if you argue I will go all Ares on you. We have every resource available out there looking for Percy. I know it’s your specialty and all, but you shouldn't be stressing yourself over things you can't control. He’ll come back to you, he loves you too much to stay away much longer.” 

After that, there wasn't much more convincing to be done. Annabeth ate her food and drank her drink while having a civil conversation with Clarisse. She’d gone back to talking and teasing like the Clarisse Annabeth knew, but now she was someone else. The last thing the blonde girl ever imagined was to have Clarisse la Rue, daughter of Ares, help her sort out her feelings, but now she knew. 

Annabeth knew why it hurt so much that Percy was gone. She knew why no one was able to comfort her, not in the way that he did, and she knew why losing him hurt so much more than anyone else. She knew why she had this dark feeling surrounding her, even still now, because one heart-to-heart over a piece of pizza won’t just take that away. But she knew it was possible. Clarisse was proof. Annabeth can come back from this and find Percy. She knew she could. She knows she can. 

Because now she's knows why it’s so important. 

It’s because it’s Percy. 

And it’s because she loves him. 

[miss-choco-chips]

From the ground up.

The road to recovery is a bumpy one, but Tim’s (reluctantly) ready for the drive. He just hopes they won’t crash and burn.

-.-.-

Tim recovers after an injury. Mending his bonds with the bats its a plus. 

Or, Tim can’t exactly run away from a conversation, and they all take advantage of it.

( @animemangasoul asked for Tim actually needing his crutches. Of course my dumb ass  brain needed to take that idea and make a whole, emotional thing of it. Threw in some family bonding cause why not. 

Babe I did my best, and if it’s bad I’m blaming exams and life stress of me being unable to properly deliver what you hoped for)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It had been a stupid decision. Self sacrificing, reckless, idiotic. He doesn’t know Bruce’s disappointed eyes, Dick’s worried ones or Damian’s disdainful sneer to know it.

Still, it had been his choice, and he’s going to stand by it. Even if it means having Steph pose as Red Robin for some time. Even if he has to deal with M’gann’s guilty looks at failing to convince him to change places, to allow her to get shot while he took the criminal out, instead of what they actually did. Even if it means getting annoyed, nearly hysterical texts from basically everyone he knows, condemning him for his stupidity. 

The only ones he had explained himself to were Tam -who honestly deserves it after all the shit he was going to put her through, dealing with her recent trauma (courtesy of assassins) and the press going haywire at Tim’s broken engagement and then almost fatal injury-, Steph (who was going to be changing between Batgirl and Red Robin for some time to keep the whole charade up and Vale off their track) and M’gann herself, who had needed some serious explanation before she conceded to Tim getting shot in front of her for appearances sake.

The rest of the world? They could rot in curiosity, for all he cared. Bruce had probably extrapolated enough from his succinct explanation about Vicky to understand the whole plan. Dick was probably dying to know, but with their relationship strained as it was wouldn't dare to ask. Damian… who know how the devil’s mind works. Alfred was already used to the Bat’s collective shit, and would probably just sigh and make chicken soup for him.

What he wasn’t cool about was being forced to have his recovery period in the Manor. He had a perfectly funcional place for himself, thank you very much, and could wobble around in his crutches from bedroom to kitchen to his small, personal cave, no problem. But Bruce had been unmoving in his decision, going as far to physically carry Tim in his arms, like a toddler, from the hospital steps to the car. It had been humiliating, but he couldn't exactly wiggle free in front of all the reporters, could he? How to explain a nerve strike to his dad, and his own ability to withstand the pain of falling back to his feet?

(Because he totally could stand the pain. He had done it in the dessert with a ruptured spleen, he could deal with a slightly damaged spine)

He was going to have his revenge though. As soon as he was able to move freely without clenching his teeth from the pain.

He’s being deposited on the bed, when he notices Damian lingering around the door. He was looking at Bruce, a little unsure, more than a bit of envy at the care which his father bestowed on Tim. Before, those jealous eyes would have made him weary of an attack. Now, with Bruce and Dick having forced a promise of civility from the kid, he was still on guard but not ready to flee at any given second. Perpetually tensing would only dampen his recovery, after all.

It was still something to think of. The lack of fire in his eyes. He… looked like a kid. Not as much a demon as he had been when Tim went away.

Well. Only time would tell if he had truly changed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Bruce had ordered bed rest. No work, detective or CEO. Nothing more straining (for the mind or body) than watching a movie. Eating and sleeping were his only allowed activities. Even reading was to be moderated, because Tim was known to lose himself in any topic that caught his fancy and forget everything else. 

Tim had listened to his reasoning, nodding along and adding his own helpful insight, smiling when his head was patted in response to his obedience. Waved cheerfully as Bruce left, made smalltalk with Dick when he visited hi room before heading out for patrol (theirs was a talk that he wasn’t really looking forward but knew he wouldn't be escaping for long), thanked Alfred for the food and ate half of it under his watchful eye. Even took the medicine with just mild complains.

The perfect picture of innocence and submission. Right until the butler went to the Cave to man the comms.

Then all bets were off.

Moving his bed out of the way to get the laptop hidden below the loose tile under it was impossible in his current condition, but thankfully he had been able to talk Bruce into letting him keep his phone, and his briefcase wasn’t too far to not be able to make the walk without crutches (painful as it was).

Before an hour had passed, he had the wall by his bed covered with post it notes, connected by red sting and pins here and there. A pretty evidence board, even with the lacking resources. Perrrfect for a little Tim-Time, a small bit of detective work.

Bruce would certainly bitch about him moving around so much, taping pieces of information or moving the string around, but, well. What Bruce didn’t knew…

-I thought Father ordered bed rest.

The voice, completely unexpected (he had either been in too deep thought, or the brat was getting better at stealth), made him jump so high and sudden he almost pulled his stitches. The medication, fading with each hour, had weaned enough he felt every bit of tissue, still torn from the shot, straining under the move.

It resulted in the longest, filthiest string of curses his sharp mind could come up with, partnered with gasps and a lot of hair pulling in a instinctual attempt to redirect the pain from his torso to somewhere less dire.

-No one taught you to knock and not to startle convalescent people, brat? -he spats between clenched teeth, squinting through barely-opened eyes to glare at him- And why aren’t you patrolling? 

The kid was on pijamas. Tim can’t remember the last time he saw him unarmed. Though he probably still had at least a dagger on himself that he couldn't see.

Bruce and Dick’s promise echoed in his mind, but just in case, he let one of his arms go around his middle, acting as if trying to soothe his hurt (okay, maybe it wasn’t all an act) while he palmed the three Red Robin pallets he had secured between his bandages earlier.

Damian scoffed and approached him, careful to keep a healthy distance but enough so he could properly appreciate Tim’s wall.

-Apparently, Father knows better than to trust you to behave, and he came up with a schedule to keep an eye on you. For what reason, it escapes me. Your death could only serve as a stress relief for everyone, specially if it was caused by your own stupidity. And you didn’t answer my question.

A large part of him wanted to tell him to fuck off. An even larger reminded him he was barely armed, heavily incapacitated, and that Damian had actually answered him first, so, technically, it was fair to do the same.

He sighs and leans back into the pillows, shoulder on the wall crumpling the photo of his number three suspect.

-Whatever. Bruce clearly bought when I said I’d act the part, otherwise he would have cleaned my room of anything useful. You’re probably here because paranoia is too deeply ingrained in the man, or he thinks you could use a rest too. Or both. 

Probably both, Tim thinks. He’s ready for Damian’s sneer and a declaration that he ‘didn’t need a rest’, most likely paired with an insult. 

Instead, Damian surprises him by tilting his head and looking at him with something akin to curiosity.

-You lied to Father? And he… believed you?

Feeling his petty bitch inside stirring, he smirked- What, like it’s hard?

It actually was, it required a hell of a mental preparation and careful planning. But once you learned how to pull it off and took care to polish it, it was a often used weapon.

Damian wouldn't let any positive emotion towards Tim willingly show on his face, so the amaze was most likely honest. It was… a little humbling, truth be told. 

-Tell you what -he decides, pulling his best negotiator voice, to cut the kid some slack-, you keep this little naughtiness -a nod towards the wall- between us and help me hide all proof before B comes back, and I give you some  pointers in how to lie to Batman. 

Damian seems truly torn. On one hand, Tim can guess, it's the mission his father entrusted him, and his deeply ingrained disdain to anything Tim proposed. On the other, the temptation of such a useful tactic, and the fact that he didn’t really care for Tim’s wellbeing enough to stop him from doing his thing.

-What are you working on?- he asked, likely gaining time while he mulled his options.

-Cold cases -a shrug-. It’s just a pastime of mine. I dig into Bruce’s old files, search for anything he couldn't solve, and work on it until I do. It’s really good for self esteem, and it helps a lot of people who never got closure for whatever it happened to them. 

-Father will know you disobeyed if you solve it.

-I’ll wait until he gives me permission for some light work, and then dump all my worked out cases on him at the same time.

There’s something akin to wonder fighting to make itself known above Damian’s facade of indifference.

-Can you actually solve something Father himself couldn't?

-Done it before, will do it again. What will it be, Damian? Cause if you decide to snitch on me after all, then kindly leave me to this until then. I’m about to crack this, and if its going to be the last one I’m able to work on, I’d hate to leave it halfway.

A few seconds go by, before Damian takes the last step and carefully perches at the end of the bed, eyes solely on the wall.

-I’d prefer to aid in solving this. If it’s true this is something not even the Batman could do… it’d be highly rewarding to work on it. You can teach me the arts of lying another day.

Shocked it actually worked, Tim did his best to swiftly recover. Not one to look at a gift horse in the mouth, he kept his doubts in check to dwell on them later and went back to his wall. 

Having Damian around was surprisingly useful. He could just lay there, in his pillows, and direct the brat through moving the string and adding post it notes here and there, until the whole thing mapped out in front of them, the answer staring at them as clear as the quickly approaching day. 

Satisfaction strong enough to smile despite the ever growing pain in his side, he gave into the urge to give a small pat to Damian’s shoulder before telling him to help take it all down, least Bruce came from patrol and found them on the act. High on the success and more than a little stunned about it, the younger vigilante actually complied, even going as far as to put all their mess back in Tim’s briefcase and bringing him a glass of water to wash down his meds with.

When Batman came to check on his middle son after patro, Nightwing on his shadow, they were regaled with the shocking, unbelievable sight of Damian sleeping, sitting on the ground with the back of his head resting on Tim’s bed, while the bedridden boy himself snored, a hand on top of the smaller kid’s head.

The picture Dick took of them was gonna be his most treasured possession forever.

-.-.-.-.-

-And this will make me a better detective? -questioned Damian, frown  scrunching his nose in a way that Tim couldn't help but think of as adorable. Or as adorable as it could be, in a hell spawn. Fuck, Dick was rubbing off on him.

-It helped me -he shrugs, eyes on his own screen as he makes the proper adjustments-. Long live the queen is a good place to start. You need to consider both the character’s mood when selecting the week’s classes, and the goal you aspire towards. All the while dodging assassinations attempts, commoners uprisings or noble plots depending on the choices you make, and… other stuff. And ruling a country. And getting engaged. It’s a lot of juggling, keeping in mind which skills you need for which event, and it forces you to consider how the character is doing emotionally, something you could seriously use to learn. Want me to give you a run through?

-No need -he scoffed, clicking in the start game option, dubiously reading the introduction-. It seems easy enough.

Tim just smiled, eerie, from his place behind him. 

Damian was sitting in the floor by his bed, back resting against it. The position, if slightly uncomfortable (Drake wasn’t an enemy any longer, if Grayson was to be believed, and after the other night’s joint work he agreed to help train Damian in mind schemes, but he wasn’t a complete ally either… and having such a grey person with such a clear shot at his neck made the assassin in him nervous), was the best way for Drake to watch his progress in this… game, while keeping his wound unbothered. It also kept Damian from ‘sneaking a peek’ at his own screen and ‘cheating at the game’, as he had said. Not that he planned on it, but-- well, all resources, no matter how dirty, were still fair game in the arts of war, as far as he was concerned.

Not that Damian needed the help. This was a silly game. He would probably beat this first try, high score even. Really, the main screen image had a teenager dressed in a frilly, pink, magical girl outfit. How hard could this be?

---

-My cousin just got bitten by a snake. Will she die?

-Wouldn’t you like to know, demon child. You’ll figure it out later in the game. Just keep going.

---

-Why do I keep failing this skill-checks? What am I missing? Is it even relevant? I just passed one that was completely useless about world history, but somehow missed the one that would have helped me keep this stupid girl from getting betrothed. 

-If it was relevant, you’ll know it when, not if, when it kills you.

-...I should save my game here.

-With these shitty skills you’ve built? Sure, if you want to, but at this point you’ll die no matter what.

---

-Is this woman trustworthy? Our father said it was her fault mother died, but she said…

-Hmm. I’m not giving you spoilers. Tell me when you figure it out, one way or the other.

-Well, at least we have our aunt, uncle and cousins. Surely they are on our side, as our family.

-...

-Drake, why are you laughing? 

-...

-Stop it! You are not scaring me!

---

-Look, I said I was not going to help you… but you can’t keep pissing everyone off, baby bat. You’ll never survive until coronation if you do.

-Those people deserved to get executed.

-...some of them, maybe, but you failed a lot of skill checks there, so you don’t have all the facts. Also, if you are gonna fuck with people, at least choose if you are doing it with nobles or peasants. Both of them is taking it a bit too far.

-I am the Queen. Neither would dare oppose me. I will have their heads if they do!

-..okay then. Let the record say I tried.

---

-Is this birthday party important?

-Uhm… Kinda. Your friend just turned of age, which means she gets to inherit control of her lands. There’s also a whole new route if you do go to the party, if you have the necessary abilities for it.

Tim saw the back of Damian’s head bob as he nodded. He gave it a few minutes. Then-

-YOU DIDN’T TELL ME I WOULD DIE ON MY WAY THERE!

-I did say you needed specific skills. Both for the party itself, and to get there.

He was ready for the unholy sound that escaped from Damian’s mouth, finger quickly taping at his phone to record it. That treasure was going to be his new ringtone. It would help with the pain, too. Happiness therapy or something like that, to distract the mind from the hurt. 

---

-Hey, Dami? I’m gonna go get ready for patrol. Are you com/?

-NO -he snapped, neck almost breaking from how quickly he raised his head to look at Dick at the door. Eyes red from staring at the screen for so long, hair a mess after messing it up in incalculable desperation- I’m about to win!  This time, my strategy won’t fail!

Tim, game already finished and now watching a movie (at least until Bruce and Dick left and he could go back to coding a new security system that even Babs wouldn't be able to crack)  tilted his head, examining his brother’s open game.  Week 30, no medicine knowledge, no intrigue, little to no dog training, no composure and not enough divination...yeah, Damian was gonna die again. It was the first time he had lived long enough to reach the tournament, and subsequently, the poisoned chocolates. 

Should he tell Damian? On one hand, the frustration, clear in his face, would tear him apart after yet another failure. But… this was the most fun he had in a long time, and the longest they had gone without either insulting the other. 

-Okay then -mumbled Dick under his breath, smartly retreating out of the room.

Tim waited a few beats- Let me know if you need help. 

-Leave me alone Drake! As if I’d lower myself to such tricks! The victory won’t be truly mine unless I win by my own merits!

Still at the door, feeling both a little ignored and elated at his brothers getting along so nicely, Dick decided to slowly exit the place, least Damian truly snapped and threw a dagger or something at his head.

---

The downside of the pain meds was how drowsy they made him. He didn’t know quite what to do with himself, now that the bags under his eyes were so close to disappearing. He had come so used to them… maybe he’d need to start investing in eyeliner and fake them.

Blinking himself awake, he moved a bit to look at the clock on his bedside table and immediately flinched. He kept forgetting the wound, and then moved and was painfully reminded.

A hand appeared out of nowhere, holding a familiar pill. He took it without prompting, accepting then the glass of water.

-Don’t think too much of this, Drake. I’m merely assisting Pennyworth. Since I’m already here working on my progress, I offered to make sure you don’t forgo your medicine. Again.

The disdainful voice, probably masking the smallest shadow of care, had come familiar enough in the last couple of days that he knew even without opening his eyes who it was. The question of what the hell was he still doing here, after spending the entire day at Tim’s side, remained.

-Damian? Are you still playing?

The kid seemed uncomfortable.

-The idiotic Queen wouldn't stop dying. It’s against my every principle to give up before achieving my goal, so I had to stay here until I passed this… training of yours.

Tim had to bit his check to keep from smiling. Damian was kinda decent at it, but the boy who lied to Batman wasn’t so easily fooled by a half assed attempt. The brat had actually stayed so he could make sure Tim didn’t forget his pain meds and woke the whole manor up with his groans later. 

-Well, as your teacher for this particular test, I’m telling you to call it a day. Go to sleep and come back tomorrow with fresh mind and eyes.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rehab… sucked. There was no way around it. Sure, he could go the nice, easy way, give himself enough time to heal before starting on the recovery path. But vigilantes didn’t have the luxury of nice, and he needed to be functional again asap. Steph was running herself ragged, working on keeping Tim’s identity on the streets alive and her own territory safe, and there was a limit on how much Tam could take over in WE before collapsing.

Bruce hadn’t been happy about his decision of starting physical therapy while his stitches were still there, but when was he, ever? And the doctors had said he could do it as long as he was careful about it, now that the swelling in his back had disappeared, so he couldn't use them as counterpoints. There was also the nice plus of being emancipated, which made his medical decisions his own, and not even Bruce could just breeze by and ignore them.

Sweet, sweet independence.

Too bad he forgot a tiny detail: how fucking painful it was.

He could move around now, using the crutches, and he had a series of exercises his doc gave him to help regain movement, which he followed like religious doctrine. Two reps before lunch, one before bed. Okay, the physical therapist had said only do one per day, but he couldn't take into account Tim’s vigilante resistance and strength, so he felt safe in his small expansion of the activities.

That was, until the sharp pain on his side made him lose balance during his last rep and trip over his crutches.

A strong arm around his upper chest stopped his fall to the ground, and took the air off his lungs. It didn’t touch his wound, though, which… nice.

-If you're falling jus’ from walking, maybe you're not as ‘recovered’ as I heard.

-Ja...son -he coughs, hand (with the crutch secured to him by nice straps, courtesy of WE’s medical division) raising up to hold Jason’s arm for support. The other man shifted, coming closer, shouldering his weight without a word, his other hand going around his waist, under the wound, to help him along- This… but a scratch.

-Quoting “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” at me won’t keep you out of trouble, little shit. C’mon, I’ll take you back to your room. Which way?

Pointing him in the right direction, Tim took advantage of their closeness to examine the other man.

They weren’t on ‘kill on sight’ terms any longer, but Tim wouldn’t exactly call the man when in a pinch. What was he even doing here? He was fairly sure he and Brucer were still at that ‘mindless anger/deeply rooted guilt’ stage of their relationship, and his book club meetings with Alfred were wednesday afternoons, not friday evenings…

-Stop thinking so much, you’ll strain som’ing.

-I’m not Dick -he fires back almost in instinct, earning a deep chuckle in turn. He shifts a little, looking for a position where his trembling arms wouldn't make the crutches shake quiet so much. If Jason saw his struggle, he respected him enough to say shit about it.

-Speaking of, how’s it going with him?

-I have no idea what you’re talking about. We are fine.

-Yeah, right. And he’s sitting out of helping you with rehab because he suddenly lost one of his hundred hearts and it’s just your luck it was the one he had for you?

-Fuck… -a misstep, and his arms automatically shift to compensate, keeping him standing but paying it in pain when the movement tugs at his side. Jason tightens his grip, an unvoiced promise to keep it from happening again- you.

-Really threatening, with all the gasping and whining. 

-Shut up. Why would we be at odds?

There’s a minute of silence as one of Jason’s hands leave him long enough to open the door to his bedroom.

-I’m jus’ saying -he shrugs as he helps Tim inside and towards his bed-, I know a discarded Robin when I see one.

He’s not sure if the pained sound comes from the jostling as he’s carefully lowered into his pillows, or the strike to his most exposed nerve.

-It was… a tough situation. Dick didn’t have much choice. I -it hurts to say- I get it. 

It had also been right, by Damian. Tim can see it, in the remarkably diminished killer intent he could feel from the kid, and his actual willingness at keeping Tim company and even helping him around when needed.

Even if it was the worst for him, at least one of the two fucked up kids under Dick’s watch had benefited from it. It was… it was good enough. It had to be. Tim was fine, after all.

Jason looks at him for a moment, waiting until the pain yields a bit and he can breath again. Then, taking a seat by his feet, he lets his eyes stray to the photographs mounted on the walls, avoiding Tim’s scrutinizing gaze.

-Even if it makes logical sense, it still hurts. I know how it is.

There’s… not really something he can counter. He moves a bit to find position easier on his side, hiding the nervous twitch with the action.

-I never blamed you for it -he feels compelled to add. Jason winces, as if struck. He’s still not looking at him.

-And the brat’ll probably be the same with you, someday. Means shit now, but… small comforts.

-I guess so… I mean, we’re kinda getting along, now that he can’t try to kill me since I’m convalescente and I’m bored enough to contribute to his training.

Jason seems pained again. Tim is annoyed by how confusing this entire situation is.

-Y’er a good predecessor. He’ll/

-What is this all about? -he cuts, unable to stop himself. This attempt at deep conversation is well and good, but it’s coming out of nowhere and Tim never pictured Jason as one to go around randomly offering wisdom- Why are you here, and with me of all people?

There was a shadow of something passing through his face, before it transformed into the physical intonation of the ‘Fair enough’ feeling. 

-I heard what happened from blondie while she was takin’ care of soom goons on y’er part of town. And… well, I have some experience on getting back on your feet after a bad injury, just in the wake of loosing Robin. Figured you’d be over doing it and getting yourself hurt worse.

It… was a fair assessment of what he was doing, actually. And if there was anyone he could speak about this… it’d be Jason.

-There’s so much I have to do -he sighs, sagging into his bed, relaxing for the first time when in a room with his childhood idol-, and Steph can’t keep running all my cases for me. I keep solving them, but I need groundwork done and she has already so much on her plate by patrolling my side of town, I just… I can’t let people die because I couldn't spy on an arms deal and tore it apart before the guns made their way to the streets. 

Jason looked at him again, his emotions in check, and he seemed to think about it for a minute, before humming.

-What about this? You take it slow and easy with the physical therapy, and I help with that stuff. My territory is somewhat in order, or as much as you can have it in this hellhole of a city, so I have plenty of free time, and… I could use the atonement. After, you know, trying to kill you so many times.

It…was unexpected. Jason, helping him? In exchange of Tim’s wellbeing? It seemed absurd beyond belief, but there was no mistaking the earnestness on his face.

And, well, fuck it. Tim was somehow on speaking terms with one of his formers almost-assassins, what was one more?

...it would also be so worth it, once Dick knew. Tim could already picture his jealousy, seeing the two brothers he was at odds or uncomfortable with, speaking at each other and working together.

And having Jason at his side would keep Bruce from checking on him so often. Two birds, one crowbar. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

This was shaping up to be the strangest week of his life. Had he entered the twilight zone?

He had gotten kinda used to Damian popping into his room before patrol, or during the nights B forced him to stay at home. He’d work Damian through one of the easiest cold cases, or aid him in his never ending game of Long Live the Queen (he was getting really close to a happy ending, though). In exchange, the kid would keep his work a secret, and help him move around if the pain was too strong, or if he wanted a glass of water and didn’t feel like getting his crutches out for the small trip to the bathroom.

Also, it was somewhat normal to have Jason swing by (morning or mid afternoon, while the vigilantes of the manor slept off their patrol), some case files in hand, informing him about a new development in whatever Tim had asked him to research. Alfred, highly approving of their newfound camaraderie, would insist Jason stayed for tea, and the three of them would dwell into a very satisfying bitch fest, with Bruce as their source material.

What he wasn’t ready for, was having both of them around at the same time.

-Drake, you need to stop lazing around and do your exercises! Father and the doctors said…!

-Chill out, Demon, he did ‘em already. Shouldn't be doin more reps than the doc said, y’know?

Acting like his nurses.

-And how do I know you’re not lying to me, Todd? Hurting Timothy could only benefit you!

-...In literally which way? He’s the ONE brother I like! And like you are any better, Mr slashed zip line.

-Who told you about/? No matter. That was before we became allies. You, on the other hand!

Had he stumbled into a different universe? It wouldn't be the first time. Just in case, he sent Bart, his time/multiverse travel expert, a quick text.

-Hey guys, what’s all this noise abou/ Damian! Drop the knife!

Oh yeah. Just what Tim needed; the awkwardness that seemed to appear whenever he and Dick were in a room together. Maybe it was time to book it back to his room.

-Grayson! Give it back, I need to/!

-Disembowel Jay? I don’t think so.

-Fuck off Dickiebird, I don’t need your protection. 

Decision made, Tim slowly moved his crutches, walking backwards without taking his eyes from the three vigilantes. If he was really, really quiet...

-I know, just/ Wait. Is that a gun?

-Well, it’s not like I’m happy to see yar ugly face.

-Excuse you?!... Here, Dami. You can have it back.

-FUCK!

-DIE!

-TIM!

The last scream came from Dick, who looked in his direction just in time to catch the moment Tim’s crutch slipped in the carpet. As it was, he was the only one who could react fast enough to prevent a painful, possibly very bad for his injury fall.

It also meant Tim was being cradled like a baby. Which- no.

The other two fell silent for  long minute, while their minds caught up to Tim’s almost accident. Then, apparently seeing him safe in Dick’s arms, they turned to fight again. Apparently, blaming the other for Tim’s misfortune. Which… okay maybe he’d been distracted watching them go at it when he tripped, but still!

-I’ll just… take him upstairs -informed them Dick, though it sounded almost like a question. Probably wondering their ability to keep the discussion verbal.

Used to the nagging, both of them raised their hands, showing them empty (which, truly, meant little in the face of two of the most weapon-inclined people he knew), without pausing their rapidly escalating exchange. 

Halfway up the stairs, he stopped wallowing in self pity about his still recovering body to remember that, for the first time in a helluva long time, he’d be alone with Dick. Which translated in Talk Time. Fuck.

By the time they reached his door, he had ready no less than six deflections and twenty conversation topics which avoided mention of all their baggage and could potentially satisfy Dick’s need for socializing with a brother.

-Wipe that look off your face, Baby Bird. You won’t be orchestrating this chat -the older hero informed him, casually as one can be, kicking the door closed behind him and softly lowering Tim on his bed. He was having serious Deja Vu’s from his first encounter with Jason-. We are going to sit in your room. We are going to hear each other out. I’m going to apologize for hurting you and give you insight on the why I acted the way I did. You’ll decide whether or not you’re ready for forgiving me. We’ll bond. Maybe cry. There’ll definetly be hugs involved -that shouldn’t sound like a threat, why did it sound like a threat, Tim felt threatened-, that’s non negotiable, don’t even try to put the ‘tender wounds’ card on me ‘cause I won’t buy it. And…

Dick’s stern voice wavered, arms still around Tim shoulders even when it was clear he didn’t need his support to sit in the bed.

-And we’ll be brothers again.

The tiny, broken sound mid-sentence was what got Tim. 

Hand a little shaky, scared for his own heart but unwilling to let the older boy (his hero and family for so long) keep hurting, he touched Dick’s cheek and smiled. Tentatively, because they were on unstable ground here, but hopeful, because god did he miss his brother.

-We never stopped being that, idiot.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was after dinner, when Bruce approached him in silence. Tim had been making his slow  but steady way to the den, where Dick had roped them all into watching a movie together. He could hear the sounds of Jason and Damian roughosing (okay, Jason was; the brat probably believed the whole affair to be a fight to the death for honor or something like that) and Dick’s chirpy voice as he ranted about The Greatest Showman from the hall.

Bruce had been making the trip by his side, hand hovering close to Tim’s elbow, in case the crutches failed him or he tripped. Tim wanted to tell him it wouldn't happen, but… he’d missed his dad’s attention a little too much to complain about independency now.

-How’s the recovery going, son?

He stopped in the door leading to where his brothers waited, turning to face  Bruce with an arched eyebrow.

-You know that better than me, Mr I’ve broken every bone in my body at some point. Also I’m dead sure you hacked my medical files and know every little detail my physical therapist wrote by heart. You can probably recite them to me verbatim.

-I didn’t mean the physical recovery. The shot in your side is not the only wound you’re carrying right now

Silence, the only noise coming from inside the room and Tim’s heavy breathing. Unable to refrain himself, he risks a glance at the tangle of limbs rolling around in the carpet (Dick’s tactic to stop the fight was to hug them into submission) and lets the tentative, frail smile tug at his lips.

-Honestly, B… That one is healing nicely. There’ll be scars but… That’ proof of what we overcame. Right?

Bruce’s smile looked kinda uncomfortable in that stony face of his, but warm all the same. His hand left Tim’s arm to tussle his hair a bit, careful to not unbalance him.

-When did you became the wisest of my children?

A crash came from inside the room, startling them both.

-TODD YOU…!

-DAMIAN NO! JASON PUT DOWN THE CHAIR! DON’T MAKE ME CALL ALFRED!

-C’ME AT ME, MIDGET!

-ALFIEEEE!!!

-Bruce…

-Yes?

-I’m the only wise child you have.

[slstmaraudersjple]

Belated Fic Rec Event post!

Soooo... some of you may know that I was unfortunately not able to post my fic recs for the KC Fic Rec Event hosted by @klaroline-events due to my laptop dying and me needing to order a replacement battery/charging cord. So here are the fic recs for days 2-6! Lots of good fics ;)

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 2 Sep 1st: All Human!AU Title: Colored You In (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: @lalainajanes (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: AH-AU. Rebekah asks a favor that turns out to be kind of life changing (life ruining?) for Caroline. Living with a temporarily broke Kol is one thing. A really, really annoying thing. And then Klaus is suddenly always around, planted on her couch, drinking her wine and adding snarky commentary which Caroline DOES NOT appreciate. Mikaelson's and boundaries apparently did not mix. Warnings: none Status: Complete

Why you should read it: This has everything I love in a Klaroline fic: Caroline friendship with Rebekah and Enzo, Caroline/Kol bonding, Mikaelson sibling drama... and of course, Klaus secretly being trash for Caroline. It’s hilariously entertaining, especially when Caroline suspects SOMETHING is up and Kol keeps teasing her about it because he KNOWS, and Rebekah DOESN’T know what’s happening until she does, and the Mikaelson sibling dynamic is so entertaining and YOU WLL LOVE IT. I mean, in the first chapter, Rebekah bribes Caroline into letting Kol stay with her. That alone should set the tone for the entir story for you. Seriously, just read it already!

A favorite scene:

The box said 'Louboutin' so Caroline was on guard. When Rebekah had called yesterday and asked Caroline to meet her for drinks Caroline had agreed immediately. Work was hectic, she had fundraiser to oversee tomorrow, so a martini (or three) to wind down sounded like a good idea.

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, or so the saying went.

"Do you need a kidney, or something? Because I love you, Bex. But I love gin too."

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 3 Sep 2nd: Angst Title: all you need to grow inside my spine (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: @highgaarden (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Klaus watches, satisfied, and in that moment she realizes something terrible: that she is grateful for the blood in her mouth. The sooner they break this bond the better. / or, Klaus and Caroline try to bargain their way out of their soulmate bond, but discover that dealing with magic isn't quite as easy or liberating as snapping a neck. ONESHOT. Warnings: none Status: Complete

Why you should read it: You should read this for the writing alone. The lines just TUG at your very soul and if you didn’t know words could hurt, this does it. This story is a variation on the soulmates AU where Klaus and Caroline are NOT delighted by what they learn, and so they agree to try to break this bond. What I like about this is that it’s a story where, while Klaus may be intrigued by Caroline, he still chooses power over his soulmate. Or does he? 

A favorite scene: 

“I tried, so hard, to be good.” Caroline closes her eyes to the blood dripping down her forehead. “So freakin’ hard. I was on the bunny diet. I thought if I ever showed you who I was, my soulmate would run for the hills.”

 “Aren’t you glad then that it’s me?”

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 4 Sep 3rd: Fluff Title: The Sound of Settling (Link: AO3) Author: @galvanizedfriend / Yokan (Link: AO3) Summary: Klaus hates his job at Mikaelson & Sons. He hates wearing a suit. He also hates his brothers constantly butting into his life. Everything will be better once he gets his much desired transfer to the New York branch. Caroline Forbes is the owner of Mystic Café, and when Klaus accidentally wanders into her coffee shop, his whole perspective changes. [AH/Coffee Shop!AU where Klaus is a lawyer. Lots of Mikaelsons and some Carenzo friendship.] Warnings: none Status: Complete

Why you should read it: I love this story so much! It’s a variation of the coffee shop meet cute, and I love how @galvanizedfriend​ can take a simple setting like a coffee shop and making something beautiful out of it!!! All Klaus wants in life is to get away from his family, so he works himself to the bone in hopes of getting a transfer. One day he comes across Caroline’s coffee shop as he’s looking for his next coffee fix, but discovers reasons to keep coming back... and the best part about all this? This beautifully written story reminds us that sometimes, what we think we want is not what we truly want.

A favorite scene:

"Well, you haven't run for the hills. I think you turned out pretty ok, if you ask me." Caroline pushes up her seat and winks at him. "Duty calls."

Klaus is left in a state of absolute disbelief as she walks back to the counter. Thirty-two years of age and this might be the first time anyone claims he's turned out ok. His ex-girlfriend with a degree to validate her opinion would probably have some points to make.

He doesn't know if Caroline is completely crazy or if she genuinely sees something no other person ever did. Klaus is almost afraid of believing the latter.

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 5 Sep 4th: Smut Title: Battle Lines (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: Jinxed-Wood (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Battle Lines [Dark Season 2 AU ] The little cheerleader had seemed the perfect candidate for Klaus's purposes, an outlier of the herd if you will, but as he tried to bend her to his will, it quickly became apparent she was not the pushover she had first appeared to be... Warnings: character deaths, dubious(?) consent, mentions of sexual assault and trauma Status: Incomplete

Why you should read it: This is a dark season 2 AU where morality is very, very gray. Klaus decides to use Caroline to spy on her friends. Caroline, on the other hand, is used to being underestimated, and she takes advantage of it to ensure her survival. In an interesting turn of events, Klaus’ actions result in Caroline getting what she deserves, which is better. However, since this fic is incomplete, I have no idea how it’s going to end! Also, tons and tons of smutty goodness!

A favorite scene: 

He collapsed on top of her and waited for their thrum of their hearts to ease, stroking her hair absently as his mind turned over the future. Truth be told, Caroline's usefulness as a spy had been somewhat eroded as a result of his earlier than planned return to Mystic Falls, but he found her...diverting, and that was not a phrase he used for a lot of people. Perhaps he could convince her to make a more permanent arrangement?

But that meant he would have to to seduce her into his life as well as his bed, and what did he have to offer that Caroline Forbes would want?

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 6 Sep 5th: Supernatural!AU (undine!Caroline and Originals!Mikaelsons) Title: Drown Me in Ash, Burn Me in Salt (links: FFN | AO3) Author: @cupcakemolotov (links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Cursed with legs by a witch as the gods were unmade, Caroline is a relic of ancient times. Bored and lonely, her interest is peaked by the newest predators in the world - vampires. And in particular, Klaus Mikaelson, with his monsters teeth and the wolf caged in his blood. Warnings: some blood and gore, nothing explicit Status: Complete

Why you should read it: If you’re looking for powerful Caroline and the Mikaelsons, this is it! This is a rather lengthy 14k-word one-shot, and one that I find myself turning to time and time again. @cupcakemolotov does an incredible job building worlds upon worlds, and this is no exception. I love that in this world, Caroline is older than the Mikaelsons (but not an Original), an ancient creature who finds amusement in this dysfunctional family and keeps them around because she can. I love her interactions with the Mikaelson siblings, of the way she seamlessly moves through the world on her own terms and no one else’s.

A favorite scene:  

“So, you’re more of a siren?” Klaus asked thoughtfully, head tilting as he faced her with no fear.

Caroline sighed and disentangled herself from the chains and corpse. “What is it with humans and naming things?”

“Power,” Klaus murmured as she reached for his locks. “Dominion does not come easily, against the unnamed night terrors. Why are you helping us?”

“I’m bored,” Caroline told him, switching to Rebekah’s chains. “Your little vampire creations are amusing, even if you taste like the grave.”

  Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 7 Sep 6th: Free for all! Title: A Pregnant Pause (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: @supremeuppityone (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Klaroline supernatural AU multi-chap. Pregnant and alone, Caroline meets a woman named Rebekah, and an unexpected friendship is formed. But then, her ridiculously attractive asshat of a brother starts inserting himself into their lives, causing all kinds of trouble. Despite being distracted by those dimples, she notices something seems a bit off about the Mikaelsons... Warnings: discussions on abortion Status: Incomplete

Why you should read it: It should go without saying that this is one of my FAVORITE Klaroline fics of all time. This features a clueless and pregnant human Caroline who finds herself entangled with the MIkaelson family. I absolutely adore the Caroline/Rebekah friendship that forms, the way Caroline wins over each of the Mikaelson siblings, and the way they find themselves drawn to her in turn. This story makes me laugh and cry, and I appreciate @supremeuppityone’s writing SO MUCH.

A favorite scene:

Clearing her throat, she told Rebekah, “You’ll figure it out. And I’ll help.”

She favored Caroline with a weak smile. “I thought I was supposed to be helping you.”

“So, we’ll help each other then.” Caroline laid back against one of the fluffy pillows on the chaise, a forearm over her eyes as she let out a soft groan.

So here we go! One epic belated post!

[walkerismychoice]

Unwritten - Chapter 3

Book: Platinum

Pairing: M!Raleigh X MC

Rating: This series will contain mature themes. Any necessary warnings will be listed before each chapter, but the overall series rating is 18+

Series Summary: Newly discovered talent Aria Campbell get unknowingly assigned to help write Raleigh Carerra’s latest album and rehabilitate his image in the process.

Summary:  Aria is ready to start writing. Raleigh? Not so much.

Chapter Warning: Hints at excessive drinking/alcohol abuse

Word Count: 1750

Master List

She should really go back out there and try to start writing. They only have six weeks to write enough songs to fill an entire album. Then again, six weeks is kind of a long time. What’s a little bit longer?...

Aria picks up the flip phone from her nightstand. She would just text, because who actually likes to talk on the phone anymore, but texting without a keyboard is hardly worth the effort. Seriously, why do they still make cell phones like this? Her finger hovers over the call button momentarily, and then makes the call.

Several rings go by before Aria hears an agitated voice on the end of the other end of the line. "How many times do I have to tell you to take me off your list? How can my car warranty be expired when I don't even own a car?"

"Shane! Wait, don't hang up," Aria pleads into the phone. "It's me!"

"Aria? What are you-" His angry tone gives way to confusion. "Whose number is this and where are you? Wait, are you doing your writing thing? Tell me who you are writing with - is it Avery Willshire?"

If only, she think to herself, hesitating a moment before replying. "I can't tell you that. It's in my contract. If it were to get out, they'd kill me."

"Who are they, the mob?" Shane chuckles. "How many years have we been friends? You know you can trust me. And besides, I had to sign an NDA to be on your contact list, if you go down. I'm going down with you."

"Well that's reassuring," she answers dryly. Sure Shane's in film school and could be the next big director, but as of right now he's unknown, and Aria's got a lot more to lose. But he's right. They tell each other everything and she knows she can trust him. "Fine. But you can't tell anyone."

"Promise."

Aria inhales sharply. “It's...Raleigh Carrera."

"No fucking way!" Shane practically screams into the phone. "Binge drinking, property destroying, R&B singing Raleigh Carrera? You writing for him is...unexpected."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." She replies dryly.

“Ari, you know what I mean. You're more indie pop, with meaningful lyrics. He sings about getting laid in the club. You've never so much as had a tardy at school, and he's got quite the bad boy reputation.”

"Yes, Shane, I know I'm a boring, wholesome girl from the Midwest.”

“No, no! I just don’t want you to have to sacrifice your integrity. It can’t be easy to make sure your voice is heard with with someone like that.”

“I’m a big girl. I can handle myself,” Aria asserts trying more to convince herself than anyone else. It’s not like she hasn’t feared what Shane has said and more ever since she got here. But she’s determined to fake it until she makes it as they say.

"I know you are. I've seen it in action - like when you dumped that smoothie on Chad's head because he made a comment about your ass."

"Oh my god. I can't believe I didn't get fired for that." Aria laughs genuinely for probably the first time today.

They continue on their path down memory lane until Aria's cheeks hurt from smiling, and she finally says goodbye.

 "Maybe I should just call mom first," she ponders out loud before thinking better of it. Things ended on a high note with Shane, and she doesn't need get all homesick and weepy right now. She supposes it's time to face the music - literally.

Aria peeks in the open doorway across the hall, and Raleigh's room is empty. She checks the main areas downstairs, but all is quiet. Finally she looks out the the beachside picture window to see a human form spread out on the sand.

As she heads out and towards the beach, she makes out a familiar object next to Raleigh and rolls her eyes. Apparently he has no plans to fully sober up before starting to drink again.

His eyes are closed as she approaches, and when she calls out his name, he doesn't stir. She won't shake him awake because that feels a touch too intimate for someone she just met. Especially someone of his status, lying their shirtless in the sand, a sheen of sweat glazing over the tattoos covering his neck and torso. Ugh stop ogling him, she thinks to herself. You hate tattoos and he's an ass. Aria grabs the bottle of rum and jabs him in the side.

"Huh?" Raleigh jolts upright and frantically looks whips his head around until he gets his bearings. "Oh, it's you." He grabs the bottle from her and takes long swig.

"Bacardi straight from the bottle in the middle of the day? Doing your best to live up to the cliché rockstar lifestyle, huh?” She immediately regrets the words and wonders if she went too far.  

He shrugs it off with a laugh and points the bottle at her. "Want some?"

"No." She scrunches her nose and shakes her head. Sipping straight out of the bottle is not her style. Not to mention they're supposed to be working and she prefers to write with a clear head.

"I guess Learning How to Party Like a Rock Star 101 is not part of a music major’s curriculum. You could use some real-world instruction from Professor Carrera." Raleigh teases.

"Haha, very funny.” Wait, how does he know she majored in music? Probably just a lucky guess. "Anyway, I came out here to see if you wanted to get started."

"Nah, I'm good." He takes another pull from the bottle. "I like to write when the mood strikes. If you're so moved though, feel free to whip something up on your own. I really don't give a shit what's on this crap album anymore."

Her blood is boiling now, and she fights a juvenile urge to kick sand in his face and stomp away. "That's not how this works. If they wanted me to just write everything on my own, I could have done so from the comfort of my own home rather than being stuck here with you."

And there it is again - that mischievous twinkle in Raleigh's eye. And before she has much time to worry about what it means, Raleigh's up and scooping her off her feet. He runs towards the water as Aria yells at him to put her down to no avail, and once the water level reaches his knees, a wave hits, sending them toppling under.

Before Aria can get her bearings, she feels Raleigh’s firm grasp pulling her upright. She wipes the seawater from her eyes to see Raleigh standing there with a big shit-eating grin, his hands still bracing her arms to keep her steady. Maybe if she wasn’t so pissed off at his antics she’d notice the slight tingle where her skin was touched by his, but then again she might just attribute that to the chill from the cool water.

She shrugs out of his hold with an exasperated groan. “Why are you such an asshole? I know you don’t want to be here with me, but this wasn’t my idea. You don’t have to take it out on me.”

“Relax, Ice Queen. I’m just trying to thaw you out a bit. We’ll both have a much better time here if you can learn to have fun.”

“Ugh! I’m not..” That remark cuts Aria deep, more than Raleigh could possibly know. “Maybe if you actually agreed to do some work with me, I’d be more in the mood to have some fun.

Raleigh looks her up and down with an undiscernible expression that makes her uneasy before plopping back down on his towel and putting his sunglasses on. “We’ll just have to see about that.”

Fiona looks up from her laptop and spots Raleigh and Aria emerging from the ocean and engaging in what looks to be an intense conversation. The guest house has a spacious wraparound porch with cushy patio furniture. If she’s got to be stuck somewhere on glorified babysitting duty, as if she’s got no other clients and nothing better to do, it’s not a terrible place to be. At least there’s wifi and she can keep working on her projects with other artists on the label.

She’d been skeptical, to put it mildly, when Ellis brought Aria in to discuss working with Raleigh, and based on his initial reaction this morning, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Aria had tried to quit on the spot. Sure Raleigh getting wasted on the beach and throwing his writing partner in the water day one would look bad by anyone else’s standards, but Fiona’s know him a long time. The fact that that he’s engaging at all is a good sign. Maybe that little chat she had with him earlier stuck.

“Looks like things are going as well as can be expected with those two.” Fiona muses aloud. Hank stands and watches attentively, arms folded across his chest. You’d think he was guarding the President with how serious he takes his job. There’s not another human in sight aside from the four of them. He weighs his words before responding. “It seems so, ma’am.”

“Eww, don’t call me ma’am.” Fiona visibly shudders. “We’ve worked together for years now. You can call me Fiona. And anyway, nobody is around. You don’t have to take your job so seriously here. Why don’t you go grab a beer.”

Frank tugs at the knot in his tie. Yes, he’s still wearing his suit and tie - at the beach. “Drinking on the job would be unprofessional, ma-, I mean Fiona.”

"Okay then," she utters under her breath. It says something that self-described workaholic Fiona is the fun one here, but if she's going to make it through this period of time without dying of boredom, getting Frank to loosen up might just be the side-project she needs. Maybe he'll even take his tie off at some point. Fiona looks back to the beach where Raleigh is sunbathing and Aria is nowhere to be seen. "Would it be unprofessional of me to run out there and smack him upside the head?"

"Yes, I believe so," he replies dryly, but Fiona can detect the corners of his mouth curving upward ever so slightly. There might be hope for him yet.

[limenysnocket]

I Despise The Way You Make Me Love You pt. 2

(Taika Waititi X Reader)

Summary: Today, Taika gets the day off of work. He gets to lounge about his house, wear sweatpants and watch whatever t.v. he likes without having someone to tell him otherwise. His plans are soiled and revamped as an unexpected visitor pays him a visit.

Warnings: Horny Taika vibes, it gets very lime-ish in here, some foul language too.

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

Author's note: I really don't know what to put here except I'm excited and enjoy the story lol.

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Boring. Boring. Boring. That's all today is going to be, huh, Taika?

Without (Y/N) here to pester or other directors to bother and ask for their plates of cheese from-- even though he has his own God damn plate of cheese in his tent/office-- he just can't seem to find the joy in the matter of a "day off." I mean, what's the point of it? Why couldn't he just stay at work with his very special girlfriend, where he could "take naps" with her in a broom closet or his office any time he pleased! It was all bologna, if you asked him. Total absurdness.

He couldn't sleep, no, even if he had all the time in the world to take naps like the nap God he is. He could be doing anything else, walking around, talking on the phone, or catching up on his favorite television show, but nooOoo. You invaded his vision, either dressed in skimpy outfits... or not dressed at all. Just as he would reach out to touch you, your skin would dissipate into the air like mist and he would find himself back awake again, hot, sweaty and horrifyingly turned on.

Would it be alright to text you? He knows you're at work, but he can always invite you over for a little late night cuddling and a bottle of wine. He just stared at his phone, his nose twitching every once in awhile, watching, waiting and contemplating. Would he text you or would you text him? The suspense was killing him!

He pushed himself up, grunting and shaking his head. "God damn it," he muttered. He had reasoned with himself. You were at work and you had every right reserved to be left alone. He didn't know, at the time, that you were dying to see him again.

He sat down at a table, in the mini courtyard of his home, with a laptop, just as the sun turned the sky orange. It was right about time he got back to work on Thor: Love and Thunder, because he was clearly days behind... maybe a few months, actually. Inspiration was hard work, especially whenever he has to find the right timing to put a shirtless Chris Hemsworth somewhere in the film.

He rapped his fingers against the metal table and rubbed his temple with the other hand, a fresh sheet of virtual paper already giving him a headache. He closed his eyes again, which was totally a bad move, but he didn't care in the slightest. There you were again, that little vixen that made his more perverted side crawl out from beneath his usually goofy demeanour. (Y/N), dressed in nothing but one of his sweaters, and he was almost completely positive that there was nothing beneath that. You stepped closer to him, placing your warm palms on his shoulders and squeezing them, massaging them. He felt your bum rest in his lap, the skin brushing against his loose sweatpants and sending sweet shudders down his spine.

The sensation of your warm hands cascading across his stubble beard drove him crazy and his own hands started to travel, reaching out and seemingly running his hands along your curves, down your thighs and back up again. He started to slip up the sweater, exposing more of your skin to his hungry eyes and he came close to seeing what he wanted to see, until he felt warm palms over his eyelids and his fantasy was pressed flat. He didn't jolt, because he recognized the warmness and the softness of those palms.

"Guess who?" He heard you say, giggling all the while. He scrunched up his face to make it seem as if he were thinking extremely hard.

"Jemaine?" He answered, after a few long moments of total silence, not including the scream of cicadas from bushes and trees. He heard you burst into laughter and those warm palms lifted from his eyes. He titled his head back and smiled to see your flustered and smiling face.

"Man, I must suck at this," he chortled and teased. You only nodded, laughing still, before leaning over him and placing a kiss on his lips. "Ah, this is the perks of you having your own key to the house. You can surprise me whenever you'd like, but I'm still waiting for the one where I come home and you're sitting naked on my couch for me," he winked and shimmyed his shoulders, which earned him a playful slap on the arm.

"You're a dork," you giggled then stood up, "I'm just here to cook dinner for you and make sure you're not driving yourself insane."

"But I'm already insane," Taika twirled around in his chair and made a mass amount of kissy faces at you, "Insane for you, baby~." Before he could even flash you with another smug face and pick up line, you had gone inside of the house, leaving him high and dry.

What you were making him wasn't the most expensive meal in the world, but it certainly was delicious. Steak, keto friendly fettuccine Alfredo with sliced zucchini noodles. It was a healthier option but certainly very delicious, plus, you knew Taika could be very picky about his eating habits, but not, all at the very same time.

You slipped into his "kiss the chef" cooking apron and started to get to work, taking out groceries from bags that you brought over and cooking appliances that you knew he didn't have or never heard of. You were so focused on what you were doing, you didn't hear the courtyard door slide open, then shut. Nor did you notice that Taika was watching you cook with a very lust hazed look, from behind his island.

Taika would be drooling at the moment if he hadn't known that he actually was amidst your presence. There he was, fantasizing about you again. He was imagining that all you had on was the apron you were wearing, and the best part of all, he got a great view of your cute ass as it swayed in rhythm while you cooked. Every time you would bend over to grab out a pot or pan, conveniently not turning his way, he would stretch out his neck as far as he could and try to peep on whatever he could without throwing himself down on the counter and startling you.

Suddenly, even surprising him, you turned around and whispered to him, "Kiss the cook, Taika." You gave him the most fucking smug smile he had ever seen, he almost didn't think this all was real.

It wasn't. It was his imagination. What you actually said was, "Are you alright, Taika?" He seemed to be straining against the counter, nails digging deep into the granite top. Once the fantasy had lifted from his eyes, he shook his head and almost seemed to wheeze. "Huh?" He said, his eyes fluttering and he swallowed thickly.

"I asked if you were alright," you responded quietly, almost knowing exactly what he was thinking about. It had been awhile since Taika hadn't been allowed to get you alone for enough time to rock your world. It was one of those things where he knew he had it, but he couldn't touch it and it was killing him inside.

He coughed into his fist and shifted the weight on his feet, "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." You could see the visible shudder shoot down his body as he tried to compose himself once more. It was adorable to see him get all hot and bothered over just the sight of you cooking, but you couldn't just get up on the counter and let him take you while you let your food burn into a crisp. He would have to wait until after dinner.

"Okay, so, I'm gonna turn around, and you're... not gonna be horny? Correct?" You cocked a brow at him, raising your hand up like it would convince him more. He only gave you a wry smile which is how you obviously knew that he was about to lie straight up to you.

"Sure," he shrugged. Yeah. He was about to pull a bastard move the moment you turned around, whether it be lifting up your skirt and being a peeping tom, smacking your ass expectedly unexpected, or grinding down on you until you finished or out down what you were doing and giving him a nice, dirty fuck. He's done all three, on set and at work, not to mention.

You gave him a terse look, then turned back around slowly, your mind boggling around while you scraped tiny cutlets of steak into the skillet where they started to sizzle loudly. Loud enough, apparently, to cover up the footsteps of a certain ornery, sex-bitten kiwi.

You quietly started flipping the pieces over so each one of their sides could get a bit of attention. One, however, when you noticed it, wasn't soaking in the brown color you needed, so you wanted to flip it again. You didn't know if it was your nerves that were from Taika's obvious white lie that had you ready to jump and touch the ceiling or what, but you just couldn't flip this cutlet. It was stubborn. You tried it every which way and all it did was slide across the buttered pan and push up against the sides.

Wait! Suddenly, you had a snag on it, the tip of it just scooching onto your spatula, and you let out praises of glory in your mind as it toppled over and landed flat and perfect on the spatula. You had just saved the perfect steak cutlet from burning. You were proud of yourself, and all those nerves had disappeared. Well, all up until all of them came rushing back to you at once when Taika shoved his hand down your panties and started squeezing your ass through your skirt.

You yelped and flinched, which made you fling your spatula backwards and that sent the perfect steak cutlet flying, landing with a nice, firm slap on the island countertop. Your mind almost didn't register the rubbing of Taika's hand over your folds, trying real hard to get you wet for him. You weren't having it. "Taika, you have no idea how fucking pissed off I am right now," you growled, your voice dripping with raw irritation and anger. "I lost a perfect bite of heaven, because of you."

"Mm, I know, and I'm sorry, but you know how I am sometimes," Taika continued to rub, seemingly dipping his fingers between the slit to check the water levels. It's still running pretty dry. He started rubbing faster, but that wasn't enough. He barely grazed his finger over your clit, when you grabbed his hand and yanked it out from his panties. You whirled around and threatened him with the steaming hot spatula. All he had left on him now was a smug grin and playful eyes that stared into your cold and displeased eyes. "What's up, babe? You seem tense."

"Taika, how long has it been since we last fucked," you said sternly, your other hand reaching back and taking the heat off of the steak.

"A week," he replied, proud of himself, yet still smug and still quite needy to put himself in your pants.

"Wrong," you corrected him with a flat gaze, "It's been five days, Taika."

"That's technically a work week, for me," he shrugged, biting his lip a little while he tried his best to keep his hips from bucking desperately, "And now we're on the weekend, darling, pleaassee, you won't even have to bite down on a washrag this time to keep from screaming! I mean, unless you're into that. It was kinda hot--." He was stopped by the familiar press of lips against his. He fluttered his eyes closed and let his hands fall and grab your hips, bringing them to press firmly against his. The crotch area, specifically.

You were the one who initiated the kiss and you were also the one to break it. You took both sides of his head in your hands and you shook it around a little. "Dumbass," you started, giving his head a little shake while he gave you a cheeky grin, "let me cook! Then, MAYBE, we can fuck, alright?"

"You're the boss, darling," he said, his hips doing a little happy wiggle, then he scooted away, back to behind the island, elbows resting on the surface while his hands kept his head up. You knew he was watching you intently, getting a little impatient sometimes and lightly rubbing his hips against the counter with need. Because he did this, and you saw him doing it, which confirmed your kill, you decided to take your sweet time with this meal, make it painfully slow and put an amazing amount of effort into a healthier version of Alfredo sauce.

This game didn't last long though. Taika was smarter than he let on, an intellectual of solid mind, though one wouldn't couldn't possibly see it if you had only one conversation with him. He started eye fucking you with every chance he got, giving you his sexiest, dirtiest look that he could muster, while rubbing his hard-on against the counter and whispering your name between gritted teeth. "You're making this so much harder than it has to be," Taika said through muttered, lust filled curses.

"What? Your dick or the tension in the room?" You said, turning you head so you could look at him from over your shoulder. He grimaced. He was on the verge of going up to his room and finishing things off himself.

"You can't just do this to me, (Y/N)," he groaned, leaning on the counter and whining like an injured puppy.

"Uh- ha! You did this to yourself! Even when you knew how hard it is for you to recover from something like that," you grinned, starting to plate the food and get it all nice and neat. "Plus, a bonus for me, this is practically like revenge for all the times you thought it would be okay to get me all riled up all the times I would casually be talking to another guy."

"Ah, they were flirting with you, I had to do it before they took you away from me," he grinned at you, now biting his lip so intensely, he left teeth marks on his lower lip.

"Taika, no one's going to take me away from you without a fight, you know that," you rolled your eyes and smiled at him, finishing with the pretty plating and bringing it over to Taika, where he was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Okay, food's done, now can we fuck?" Taika whined desperately. You could see the hefty bulge through his pants and it made you swallow thickly, but you stood by your own opinion and decided he could take a little more torture.

"No, we have to eat first," you said which drew a long, high pitched, goofy whine from the depths of his throat. Taika looked down at his plate, grumbling, then picked up his fork and started to shovel food into his mouth at a fast pace, eager to finish. He forgets that you have to finish your food too, and you weren't even starting at the same time as him, because you buried yourself with pouring the expensive wine that you knew he liked.

Whenever you finally were seated across from him, half of his plate was already gone and he was swallowing a hefty mouthful at the time. "Taika, you're going to choke if you keep eating like that," you laughed and shook your head, tangling the zucchini noodles around your fork.

"It's worf ut," he said with his mouth full and started to chew violently. You took your time with your plate, spindling the noodles around until it was a decent bite then stabbing a cut of steak and running it throughout the sauce. You only made this meal on special occasions, really, so you took time to cherish the flavor of it. Taika wasn't having it. He finished his food way before you did and chugged his wine like the madman he was. When he finished that, he slammed his glass down like he just finished a shot. He was a mess.

You shook your head, "I still have to finish, you know." Your plate was just about half way done. Surprisingly, he allowed you to finish your food in peace, well, enough peace at least. Every time you looked up, you were met with big, brown puppy dog eyes and a pouty lip. He watched you eat your food, begrudgingly, flicking the little piece of half cooked steak that landed on the counter awhile ago.

The longer you took to finish your food, the more the longing inside of you grew. You thought this was going to be just a night for snuggling and cute little romantic stuff that they never got to do at work. It was supposed to be a time to get to know each other better, besides already knowing what his favorite brand of wine was. It was a night meant for togetherness, and the want for that must have shown on your face, because, when it did, Taika's puppy-like expression seemed to lessen.

Finally, you finished off the last of your zucchini noodles, took both your and Taika's dishes to the sink, dumping what was left of your wine down the drain, and you started to rinse them. No one likes scrubbing off crusty food.

"Hey," you heard a specific New Zealander whisper gently from behind you. "You're tense again."

You set one of the wine glasses down in the sink, and it hit the metal with a soft clunk. That was the only noise between you two for a long while, except for the rush of the running water spinning down the drain. You took a deep breath and turned the water off, slowly, then dried your hands. Once you were done, you slowly turned towards him, "Is... Is sex all you're really wanting out of me? If it's true, then I really don't want that and I'm sure there's some clean hooker out their who is dying to get their hands on you and maybe would be willing to work for as long as you want." You started making hand motions as you spoke. They were awkward motions, but they were necessary.

"What? Why would I-- (Y/N), I don't understand, why would I try every day to get you alone, like during our first time. The only reason I needed you alone is because I wanted to confess and kiss you, I wanted to protect our privacy, because no one truly wants to be the newest hot couple cover of People Magazine. When we... When we fucked, it just so happened by chance. We were both in the mood and we got what was needed. I actually didn't expect this streak to go on for so on like this... but," he paused, coming around the island and grasping one of your hands with his, "every time I saw you at work after that, I thought back to our first kiss, then the first kiss leading up to the first time and... well, you're a smart girl, so I'll let you figure out the rest."

This managed to put a dismal smile on your face, you were still a bit upset. "But, why can't we ever have these days where we get to know each other, just cuddle and talk about things and learn things about each other that aren't liquor related!" It was more of a statement than a question. The two of you only had one night together like that. You cuddled up with him under a blanket and watched his and your favorite movies, occasionally talking, up until you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

Taika pulled you closer, gently, "Why didn't you say something, then, babe? You know I'm always open to stuff like that. Hell, I love that stuff." He brought the hand he was holding up to his mouth and he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it, sending warmth shooting straight to your cheeks.

"I was too embarrassed to admit it," you whispered to him, looking down at the floor until he used his free hand to tilt your head up and your eyes met with his. Eventually, your lips met his as well. It was brief, but soft and love filled. He didn't hesitate to pull you into a hug afterwards as well. The only problem was, his hard-on still existed.

"You know, I would love to settle down and watch a movie and all with you to talk about all your favorite things, but my boner is still here too," He joked, softly pulling away from the hug and looking down at you, cheeks alive with color.

"You want me to take care of that for you, don't you?" You ask with a stiffled laugh and look up at him to see that he's blushing, embarrassed now, and nodding his head yes. "Alright, fine, but once we're done, we're staying in your room for the rest of the night, watching Flash Gordon and you're going to give me ten reasons why Soul Rebel is your favorite Bob Marley album."

He grinned brightly at you now, "Deal."

[smalltowndetective]

Can I request #28 "This is why we can't have nice things" with Adam (always breaking the detectives stuff) du Mortain ?

Hello Anon! Of course! I’d love to!

This is the sweetest I’ve written these two, and considering these two, I don’t really write them as sweet as all haha. I hope you enjoy! Kind of unsure about this one, but I’ve held onto it long enough!

Ao3 Link

Title: Work Break

Pairing: Adam and Natasha

Words: 1.2k

Whenever Adam was staying at the station, he normally avoided Natasha, letting her do her own work in peace, at least that was what he told the others. None of them seemed to believe that reason though.

               And I’m not even sure I could convince myself of that anywhere.

               The majority of the day he had spent watching her work, her eyes rarely leaving her laptop screen, her typing almost having a rhythm to it. When she put her mind to something, she did indeed complete it, with as much poise and professionalism that she did with everything else

               It was something that he was finding he admired about her, that complete devotion to everything that she did, no matter how small it was, even if it annoyed him the way she would run herself ragged to keep up with the forever piling amounts on her desk.

               Not that he would ever say that her, since he knew that Natasha would call him the biggest hypocrite if he did, and he supposed she would be right to say so.

               Not that it looked like she was stressed in the first place. Her professional front seemed to fool most people, but it just left Adam with the realization that he knew when she was. He had no idea how he did, or even why, but was starting to see it.

               When she was stressed, her normally tight bun would have the slightest bit of shorter bits of hair framing her face, not pulled back like it completely was. Natasha would also absentmindedly drum her fingers on her desk, which at first, he thought was due to boredom, but he realized that was something she did when she was trying to figure out her plans in her head.

               Such small things, but he did see them, and he was not sure how exactly to deal with it, or if he would ever really know. It was almost just a glaringly obvious sign that, as much as he had tried, these feelings were not going away.

               Wouldn’t it be better if they did?

               But that was another thing that was becoming harder and harder to convince himself of.

               Adam managed to tear his eyes back to look at her through the partition, and he saw her pick up her cup of coffee, before setting it back down as if she just noticed it was empty.

               And before he could talk himself out of it, he walked back to the small kitchen area where Natasha had made her coffee, and he took one of the empty coffee cups, and poured the remaining coffee still in the pot, it still quite warm against his skin.

               I’m just going to walk in there, set this down, and then leave.

               I don’t need to do anything more.

               He did so, Natasha not looking up as he entered the room, and he was not sure if that was because she did not notice he had walked in or if she was rather acting like he was not there at all, something that she had been doing since after he pushed away the day after the carnival.

               But just before he was about to leave, quietly spoken words made him stop.

               “Thank you”

               Turning around to face her, he caught gazes with her icy blue eyes, but there was something different about them. They were, almost soft, and he was not quite used to her eyes looking at him that way. It was as if he was watching the melting of a glacier, something that should have never happened, but had anyway, and it took him a moment before he could finally find his words in return.

               “Of course,”, he nodded, fully intending to leave now, but it was almost like he found himself stuck, unable to move away from her gaze, and Adam watched as she pushed away her laptop, and moved forward to lean her arms on top of her desk.

               “Do you need something?”, she suddenly asked, squaring her shoulders, and then she gestured to the messy stacks of paper on her desk, “Or are you here just to tell me my office is cluttered again?”, her eyes flashing in challenge, as if she was just begging him to say it again

               But even with the flatness of her words, there was a hint of a smile at the edge of her lips, and it surprised him, as if she was actually joking with him. Natasha, one of the most serious people he knew, joking with him out of everyone.

               And it was not like her office was ever cluttered to begin with, since she always preferred the more minimalist side of things, the plant that he ended up breaking the only real extra decoration in the otherwise bland room, and he had broken that, the small amount of color in the white and gray decorated office gone.

               “Not as cluttered anymore, is it?”, he said, slightly narrowing his eyes, but his voice felt lighter than it normally was.

               “Yes, because you broke the only decoration in here”, she lightly scoffed, “Since, apparently with that and the desk, we can’t have nice things. At least, I can’t anyway”

               There was not much he could say to defend himself on that front, but he rolled his eyes, trying hard to hide the amusement on his face.

               “And you’re never going to actually repair the damages, aren’t you?”, Natasha said, the smallest bit of a laugh in her words, a small smile making her eyes crinkle, “I’m going to have to deal with the fact my stuff is actually never going to get replaced”

               “I wouldn’t say that”, he shrugged, but truthfully, he had not thought much about the objects at all.

               “The Agency decided to leave my broken desk after a bunch of thralls came through here”, she said flatly, but the amusement never dying in her eyes, “If that doesn’t say anything, I don’t know what does”

               Adam shook his head, wanting to tell her that the reason it was left like that was leave it exactly as it was, but she gave her the faintest hints of a smile anyway, “Wouldn’t count it out just yet”

               “Then I’ll hold you to it, du Mortain”, she replied, the surprising hint of a smirk on her lips, and the two of them seemed to lock eyes, neither of them glancing away from each other, unspoken words hanging in the hair, the tension greater than it had ever been.

               The only thing that he could do was to turn away, but it did not escape his notice that Natasha seemed to be expecting that, the small smile not leaving her face anyway.

               But before he left, he turned to say something.

               “I know you will”

               Natasha gave him a full smile this time, and it was almost tempting enough to get him to stay, but he left anyway, knowing that the longer he stayed, the more he would not want to leave.

               And it’ll just make this harder if I stay.

               Adam was starting to realize, however, that staying away from her was not working either, instead almost making everything worse.

               But there is not much else I can do.

               He took his spot in one end of the station, and after a few minutes, he got the nerve to look back through the glass partition, where she continued to work, but that smile never did quite leave her face.

[nitewrighter]

Final Exams widowtracer or gency if you don't do widowtracer

No Widowtracer. This is a Spiderbyte/Tracily House.  So It’s gonna be College AU Gency. Good luck to everyone still dealing with finals this coming week!

----

Genji leaned back in his seat and rubbed at his temples, his vision swimming at the peripheries before he squeezed his eyes shut. He could still feel the last few milligrams of caffeine flickering in his system as he raised his eyes to his laptop screen once more. “Okay--get it together,” he slapped his hands slightly on his cheeks to wake himself up a bit more, the cold of his prosthetic hand helped in this regard, “Thesis. Thesis. Pass, or Dad cuts you off,” he huffed out an exhalation and continued typing, though at this point, after six hours of reading and re-reading and re-writing and re-reading his own words and the pile of other books on his table, he wasn’t sure if he was just writing himself in circles.

“May I have your attention please, the library will be closing in 30 minutes,” a soothing voice sounded over the speakers, and it felt like a siren call into shutting down completely but the time limit was enough to eke the last bits of energy back into Genji’s mind. He just had to finish off his conclusion, then he could spend tomorrow actually cleaning up with his own editing. That was fine. That was good. The thesis was due in 48 hours. He was maybe 70% done with it. He had this.

 He heard the winter rain slap against the window next to him, the droplets and rivulets of water catching the orange light of the streetlights just outside of the library, sending it blurring and swimming like his own text-strained eyes. He sighed. He did not want to walk back to his dorm with the weather like this and a part of him mused on hiding out somewhere and then napping on one of the library couches, but then quickly recognized that was his own sleep-deprived lack of logic and he would, eventually, he would have to go home, and if his own brain was suggesting crap like that to him, there probably wasn’t much good it could do his thesis at this point. A few hours of sleep. That was all he needed.

 He stood up and stretched, exhaustion feeling like a slowly stacking column within his spine, and he gathered up the three empty coffee cups around his laptop, threw them away, tucked his laptop away into his bag, and picked up his books from the table. He walked over to one of the re-shelving carts to see it was already choked with books, some stacked on top and even falling off onto the floor, then he sighed again and headed over to an elevator to go up to the stacks. Just beyond the tall shelves was a wall pocked with cubby-like shelves that had series of call numbers by groups of 50. Genji moved through a narrow passage between shelves to reach this back wall, his books neatly piled in his arms. He loaded his books back into their designated-by-number shelves in a near blissfully hypnotized state, his brain elated to find a simple task where things fit where they were supposed to. Rolling his shoulders, he yawned before turning around and moving to walk out of the stacks. He was headed down between another two rows of shelves when he tripped. In his fall, he initially thought he had tripped on a pile of duffel bags but the pile he tripped on grunted and flinched hard away from him as he stumbled forward, flailing his arms to regain his balance but to no avail. He grunted as he hit the floor. 

“Sorry!” the pile of a person flinched back into a human shape, revealign themselves to be a girl pretty much drowning in the bagginess of her hoodie and sweats, “Sorry! Are you okay?” her eyes were obscured by a fringe of pale blonde hair.

“Yeah--yeah, I’m sorry-- I wasn’t looking--” said Genji, pushing himself back up to his feet. He looked back at her to see she had pulled her hood back and was rubbing the back of her neck.

“No, it’s my fault, I really didn’t mean to fall asleep here--ow...” that last sound left her as an exhaled regret.

“Yeah that didn’t look like a position someone should fall asleep in,” said Genji, extending a hand to her to help her up. She blinked at his prosthetic and he withdrew slightly. “Oh--Yeah, sometimes people get caught off guard by it--”

“Oh so it’s real!” said Mercy, taking his prosthetic and getting up to her feet, “I mean it’s--y’know I was just... wondering if I was seeing things for a second.”

“Seeing things?” said Genji.

“Well, last year I didn’t sleep for 48 hours and when I finally managed to stumble out of the library, I was convinced for... I don’t know, 8 minutes that everyone in the corners of my vision was mannequins. I mean, obviously they weren’t, and they wouldn’t be mannequins when I turned to look at them, but---I have been trying to sleep more, this quarter--I mean I wasn’t trying to sleep here, but---” she caught herself, “I’m sorry I have no idea who you are and that all sounded very crazy, didn’t it?”

“Let me guess... Pre-med?” said Genji glancing down at the open books and the notebook that had apparently been assaulted with several different-colored highlighters at their feet. 

She gave a helpless nod. “Angela,” she glanced down, saw she was still holding his hand, and gave it a shake before withdrawing her own hand and clearing her throat and pushing back her bangs from her face. Her eyes were grayish blue, bloodshot and a little distant with her own exhaustion but beautiful.

“Genji,” said Genji.

Her eyes widened, “Oh, on the Kendo team!” she said, her eyes lighting up. She gave another glance to his hand, “I should have remembered---” she gestured at his head, “And the hair, of course.” 

Genji just chuckled and ran his prosthetic hand through his green-dyed hair. “You follow the kendo team?”

“I mean, not obsessively,” said Angela, with a nervous chuckle, “But I’ve caught a practice or two, and there was that whole article about you in the campus newspaper.”

“Ah yes, the ’Prosthetic Prodigy,’” said Genji with a slight eye-roll, “I’m not even a prodigy, I just had a chance to study it longer.”

“It’s still impressive,” said Angela, with a smile.

 “Well tragically, Kendo isn’t football or basketball, so I actually have to study,” said Genji, shouldering his bag a bit.

“Let me guess: Literature,” said Angela.

“With a history minor. How’d you know?” said Genji.

“Lit majors will take any excuse to use the word ‘Tragically,’” said Angela.

“Unlike those clever and far-superior STEM-majors, falling asleep in the stacks and hallucinating mannequins,” said Genji, with a wry grin.

She snickered and elbowed him. “Rude,” she said, smiling, “I’m kidding. It was in the article.”

“Ah,” said Genji, “’Not obsessively,’ she says--”

“Hey--” Angela started.

“May I have your attention please, the library will be closing in 15 minutes,” the voice chimed over the speakers again. 

“We should probably let them clean up, shouldn’t we?” said Angela, dropping down to one knee to pick up her mess of books and notebooks.

“Here, let me--” Genji bent down and moved to help her. Their hands brushed over each other on one of the books and Angela glanced up and made eye contact with him. Neither was sure if it was the mental exhaustion or sleep deprivation that seemed to make those few seconds of contact feel longer and softer, but Genji muttered a “Sorry” and both glanced off and moved to pick up the other books, Angela clearly reddening. She brought herself up to her full height, holding her books tight to herself as she brushed some of her blonde hair back and he adjusted the bag on his shoulder.

“Guess we’re... heading out the same way then, huh?” said Genji, as they both headed out of the stacks.

“Or we could hide and sleep on the couches when all the staff heads home,” said Mercy as they stepped into the elevator together.

Genji looked at her and a short laugh escaped him. 

“That’s sleep deprivation talking, isn’t it?” said Angela as they reached their floor.

“I was thinking the same thing earlier, actually,” said Genji, as they headed out of the elevator and towards the exit, “Stress-unhinged minds think alike, it seems.”

They both fell quiet as they opened the exit door watched rain slapping against the pavement in front of the library.

“Ugh...” Genji huffed and then glanced over at Angela. He moved to take off his jacket, holding it over them both “Here, we can--”

“Oh--you don’t have to--” Angela started.

“You don’t want to get sick right before exams--” said Genji, extending the jacket over her.

“Genji,” she pulled an umbrella out of her bag.

“...Oh,” said Genji, pulling his jacket back on as she unfurled it. She brought it over both their heads. 

“You don’t have to--” Genji started.

“You don’t want to get sick right before exams,” said Angela, smiling, her voice a little hard to hear over the patter of rain on umbrella canvas.

“Doctor’s orders, huh?” said Genji as they both walked off towards the dorms.

“If we get through these exams, someday, hopefully,” said Angela, smiling.

[bluebeetle]

Last night I had a dream where like, these white fungi like aliens invaded and were infected people to make these zombies.... I got attacked but somehow survived and just was blinded and got psychic powers (my dreams r in third person like a movie so this wasn’t a hindrance)

It then skipped ahead to be being the leader of this refuge surrounded by walls really high up and I had the power to just create more walls and stuff from the ground if need be or change the height of them. We had to send people out to get food after all

Also easiest way to deal with the zombies was some weird blue concoction that melted them (more on that way later). For the most part everything was fine just had to remain vigilant and had an issue with a fascist faction that tried to overthrow me that we just used for bait to kill more zombies (and them) lmao

I woke up and fell back asleep and then proceeded to have a dream of an alternate take of this where I didn’t get injured and it starts at the start of this outbreak with us trying to hole up in a hospital and figure out what was going on. Tati from like YouTube was there even tho I don’t like her and I remember me booting up my laptop for her and a video about how she sucked coming up immediately and then it was just awkward

Anyways we figured out how to make the blue stuff to make the zombies melt, it was like, a bunch of natural acids like citric acid, flour or breads to thicken it, and then at the time we had to kill someone wit blue eyes and add their head or their hair if it was dyed blue,,,,,,,

Anyways this worked for a bit but then we were attacked by some people who had flame throwers and a howls moving castle base and ended up surrendering joining them because the hospital was being overrun

We travelled to a small lil house where about a dozen people were holed up to try and convince them to join us, with me realising that we jut needed hair and blue dye instead of a whole head for the potion?? And that more hair was better. It rly melted the zombies like they were snow lmao... except they bubbled a lil

Also apparently I married the leader of the fire people because I was talking to one of the people we were trying to get to join us and he was uncomfortable with how everyone was white and I mentioned my husband being black (who was the leader)

[flyswhumpcenter]

Nurse Café - Chapter 5/6: “Recovery is Nothing but a Filler Arc”

PREVIOUS CHAPTER / NEXT CHAPTER

Fic Summary: Life could have honesty been simpler than that for Hokuto, a second-year Liteature major. There’s, however, someone out there willing to just make it easier on him.

Fandom: Ensemble Stars! (College/Coffeeshop AU) Ships: HokuAn (Anzu/Hokuto)

AO3 version available here.

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Chapter Summary: Hokuto finds the process of recovery boring. This is a snippet into this very boredom.

Chapter Wordcount: 1.7K words.

Chapter Notes: Lmao @ my shitty updating schedule (which isn't a thing to begin with). It's technically filler content, but I felt bad about not having at least some snippets into a recovery process and, of course, more pining because who doesn't like pining. I like writing with a lot of sarcasm and this fic is the perfect occasion for it lol. My goal is to actually finish Nurse Café before 2020 rolls around, so we shall see if the last chapter comes out before the new year arrives! (I doubt it, but you know, a week can be enough for this).

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Recovery was a boring process. A necessary, absurdly boring process.

He supposed it depended on what you needed to recover from. If you only had to recover from a cold, it could be a good occasion to feel cosy: buried under the covers, a cup of hot chocolate in hand, watching some TV programs while a humidifier tried to keep your nose from clogging up… Alas, he wasn’t recovering from a cold at all and must have been in the most boring kind of recovery: the one where he wasn’t well enough to do anything interesting, but not dying enough not to be aware of how much he was wasting his time as he flopped in bed like a fish out of the water.

 At least, and yet a little to his dismay, his grandmother had insisted to watch over him when his friends couldn’t. Sure, she was out of her cast and had recovered her full mobility, but she shouldn’t have been there. He was supposed to do this thing on his own, not get babied all over again. It tasted like failure and disappointment in himself, as if the entire situation wasn’t worth being untrusting of his capabilities.

However, a major part of him was grateful for her to be such a watchful caretaker. It was his fault if he had landed there, he admitted to that fact without hesitation (albeit not without swallowing his pride in for good measure), so he could have been expected to fix his own mistake by himself like a good boy; and yet Grandma was here, tending to him each time he’d open his eyes during the day. He’d have to find a way to thank her later down the line…

 Truth be told, he was relieved that people were checking up on him. In that state of his, his body barely agreed to move out of the bed, and if it accepted, then it’d only be for short spurts of time. The festering headache raging in his skull really didn’t help in the slightest, instead profiting from his incredible vulnerability to do its thing. The more time went and the less he felt that way, usually trapped in a deep daze for most of the time, overthinking things when he was conscious enough to do that. A… fascinating time to be had in perspective, huh.

If it wasn’t Grandma, it was his friends from university. More exactly, two friends: Isara and Anzu. He had specifically for them not to tell anyone else, as he wanted to preserve a little bit of his credibility within the academic premise. It was mostly about food, medicine and cleaning stuff here and there. Before his glassy eyes, the papers on his floor finally disappeared, piling neatly on the desk as he heard conversations without participating. They made recovery less of a chore to go through.

 The only times where he didn’t feel like he was throwing his precious time of the window was when people came in and kept him intellectually awake. Day after day, for an entire week, his favourite moments were still those where Anzu was there, sitting on a chair next to him or simply minding her own business somewhere else in his flat. If his brain wasn’t too confused, she’d stay here more than Grandma and Isara, especially the second as he was permanently busy (he could swear he had heard Anzu making sure he too wasn’t overworked beyond his own mind. Isara only chuckled awkwardly at that).

He’d usually see her do things around, mostly her homework, sometimes something else. After spending almost an entire day sleeping and dazing when he wasn’t unconscious, he could finally truly watch her do things and hum some of her favourite pop songs. She was the most pleasant thing about his recovery, as he could spend some time with her without any major disturbance. He’d never admit it openly, though, because then he’d never see it get lived down.

It felt warmer whenever she was in the room too… Must have been his temperature and the awful sentiment it brought upon him.

 The first time he tried to rise out of bed, it was to help Anzu with putting away some groceries and pay her back for these, and she immediately dropped her bottle of dish soap to pin his shoulders back onto the mattress. Would have it not been such a situation, having her on top of him like that would have surely sent him into a daze; instead, Hokuto was glad to blame the sudden burn in his cheeks on what was left of his fever and shook the other ideas away. God, she did look like she was blushing as she realized how cliché their position had been, but it must have been out of embarrassment… Nothing more than that.

He did retry later in the day, after the nth nap he had taken in the last two days (at least, he thought it had been two days? He didn’t exactly have any screen to check the date on to set straight his scrambled perception of time). Once again, Anzu jumped on him, urging him not to overdo it, albeit they had come to a silent compromise: he could sit up now. It was unbelievable than even such a simple gesture still made his head spin like that. At least, it was stabilizing, so he figured his gyroscope had somewhat fixed itself. How fragile had he made himself, exactly?

 With some more patience, brought upon him by the screams of the body he couldn’t ignore much anymore and everyone’s smiles and words, he had finally reached a point where he could at least wash himself in peace and not risk opening his frontal lobe on the slippery tiles of the shower. If Grandma and Anzu still insisted to make him his food, he started biting back, albeit as hard as a new-born puppy, much to his chagrin and somewhat to Isara’s amusement.

 “I’ve never asked you about that, but I’m curious,” the latter asked him when the three of them were around his table with some fried noodles for dinner. “How in the hell did you put yourself in that situation, Hokuto? It really doesn’t resemble you to be this… careless?”

“Haven’t you asked me that before?”

“Mao has, but you may have… replied with nothing but nonsense, when he did…” Anzu chimed in, scratching her chin with an awkward smile.

He felt his embarrassment rise up in his throat again, but instead decided to clear his throat and brush it aside as much as possible.

“Things piled up, I suppose. I was making a presentation with a tight deadline and taking care of my grandmother who had broken her foot. It got out of control much more than I had anticipated.”

“Why didn’t you ask us to help then?” Isara seemed genuinely confused, or at least curious.

“Both Anzu and you were already busy, and I sincerely doubt Akehoshi would have made anything better for my grandma. Yuuki seemed busy enough as it was too, now that I think about it.”

Truth be told, Hokuto had no real answer to give and it must have felt by his two friends, considering the looks of disbelief they gave each other before realizing they’d both be late to class if they didn’t eat any faster.

 By the end of the week, life was finally back to what it should have been. It still hadn’t prevented Hokuto from disobeying doctor’s orders (he didn’t remember getting examined at any point, but if Anzu was telling him so, then it must have happened at some point…) and grabbing his laptop to write some mails here and there. Braving the headache the brightness of the screen was providing him with, he attempted explaining himself to his prof for his sudden disappearance with his presentation in hand.

Apparently, he had written nothing but gibberish, and that was more than enough to convey to the prof how unwell he had been. He guessed it was convenient, in a way…

 He made sure to thank everyone as much as possible. Unexpectedly, Grandma told him it was her mission as a grandparent to take care of him, especially after he had done so for her; and he felt too humbled to respond anything against that. Isara more or less told him the same, saying it was normal for friends to help each other and that they needed to do so anyway, that he didn’t mind. The amused smirk on this man’s lips as he said that more or less indicated that he had gotten some amusement out of the situation. As soon as he got noticed, though, Isara told him he had been worried and that it was good to see a buddy go back to normalcy. They agreed on that statement.

Still, how could he thank Anzu for all of her services? She had done a ton for him and he had no real way to get back to her on that. She had spent a lot of her precious time trying to fix his mistakes and didn’t spare her words when it came to convincing him that resting was what he truly needed and that it was okay for him not to force himself out of bed this quickly. It really didn’t help that his feelings were having a rave party in the back of his mind…

 “You don’t have to thank me or pay me back,” Anzu responded. “At least, don’t feel forced to do so. I was just happy to take care of a friend!”

The pink on her cheeks was back. Did he happen to still have some fever lingering and playing with his senses?

“I’m just glad you’re alright now. You really scared me when you collapsed like that, you know?”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“You better do! I don’t want to see that happen to you again, so I hope you’ve learnt the lesson… You’ll be fine from now on, right?”

“I should be. Thank you very much again, Anzu.”

“And you’re still welcome, it’s the third time you thank me in five minutes! Take care, okay? I’d hate to see you this sick again. See you soon!”

“See you soon.”

On that she left, her smile and her perfume leaving the premise of his previously fatigue-riddled flat. It made up for ideal circumstances to realize something: Hokuto was afraid he’d have to soon deal with a whole other kind of sickness.

[hisgirlwonder]

Atonement - Part Three

Length: 2.3K words Warning: A lot of this is power play with intrusive thoughts but there’s also the addition of smut in the form of sex toys/anal stuff, humiliation, some degrading pet play, sadism of sorts, voyeurism, that sort of thing~ Synopsis: With his trust broken, Michael is doing all he can to make you regret ever crossing him. Notes: Here’s the third part in the continuation of my favourite fic series I’ve written to date (I think my niche might be humiliation which probably speaks volumes about me lmao) and you can find part one and two here on my master list. Hope you enjoy!!! I should also probably point this out but I always write Y/N as consensual because we all know she secretly loves Michael and can’t resist him (even if she might come across as loathing him)

Michael’s actions towards you had caused quite a commotion in the Outpost. Since that show in front of the others, they were all scared stiffness and didn’t want to be the next in line and abided by his rules. Nobody realised that Michael wasn’t interested in punishing them even if they acted out because you were his target, his prey, his toy. He would have just snapped their necks and let that be that. But with you? No, you were different. You were his.

“What the fuck, where are they?”

Desperate hands of yours rummage through bags of clean laundry trying to find your own. You specifically remember last night putting them on a wash cycle and one of the other girls said she’d take care of the rest which by your calculations means they should be there. But they’re not and you’re stressing out. You didn’t need more punishment on top of what you were already being given.

Certain you’ve got another outfit hanging up in your wardrobe, you run back to your room as fast as you can. The adrenaline pumping through your veins turned you into a fumbling mess and made trying to unlock the door difficult, albeit not impossible, and you get there eventually. Once inside you rush over to your closet and fling open its doors.

Michael surely had better things to do than take my clothes, didn’t he?

Apparently, you might have been wrong. The cupboard in front of you is bare, stripped of your belongings. You mutter a fuck under bated breath, heart pounding. Knowing you don’t have much time, you quickly move onto your drawers and yank them open whilst praying you’re still in possession of something, anything, to wear to his office – your search falls flat. You haven’t even got a pair of socks.

There’s a knock at the door. It was if your thoughts were so loud that the Devil himself answered you because you open the door and who was it? Michael.

“Good morning, little grey. Did you get my message? I hope you enjoyed it.”

His tone was all too self-righteous and cocky for this early in the morning.

You’re staring at him in confusion, saying nothing.

I didn’t get a…

It clicks. He took all of your clothes to send you a message.

He continues, “I just love that look upon your face right now. It’s like you’re becoming aware what I can do to make you feel your own shame. There are a few things planned so don’t take too long to get ready. Make sure you shower first,” Michael says, rubbing it in with a wink. You wanted to slap the smug off his own.

**

A concerned Ms. Mead clears her throat, breaking the silence in the room.

“Michael, don’t you think you’re being just a little harsh on that poor girl.”

You look up from your screen to see Mead staring down at you, sadness in her eyes. She hated seeing you like this – she missed the old Michael, the one that had become buried deep under a cloud of jealousy. Mead could read you like a book and knew from the way you were reacting and the things she’d observed that you really did care for Y/N but you didn’t know how to show it.

“Thank you for the concern. I really do appreciate it but after she went behind my back and metaphorically shat all over me then she’s going to get every last bit of my harshness. How dare she let him-” you pause, smacking your clenched fist down in exasperation.

Miriam leans in on the edge of the desk, sight focused on you and trying to read your expression since you had a guard up. You’re refusing to look at her and instead your vision veers off to the side with flared nostrils and a mouth scrunched up in disapproval, matching the current mood.

“Michael, please, look at me.” Mead begs, moving around to be in your line of sight but you move your head again, still refusing to look at her, “It doesn’t have to be like this, you know? You don’t need to let your feelings get the better of you. You’re not a monster, Michael.”

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Michael. You’re not a monster, Michael.” You mimic, deflecting the obvious truth she was speaking. You did feel something for her but the news of betrayal hurled you back into the past when you were abandoned by your own flesh and blood.

“Wow, okay. I see I’m getting nowhere with you. I’m going to go and attend to other things but you know where I am if you decide you actually want to act your age and not like a defiant, spoilt child.” Mead sighs heavily then walks out of the room. You notice she’s left the door ajar as you hear her speaking in a surprised tone, saying, “Oh, hello, Y/N. Michael’s in there.”

**

“Uh, sir, hello,” your words were sheepish, uncertain. He doesn’t acknowledge your greeting nor does he do anything besides type away on his laptop. You’re about to say something else when he bluntly tells you to come to him. You comply with the instructions and tiptoe over to him, standing to the right of his desk.

The tapping of fingers on the keyboard ceases once he feels your presence near. He closes his laptop, pushes himself off the seat, and walks around you in circles with eyes fixated on your exposed skin.

Those icy blues are taking in the sight of the damage inflicted on your body. A single finger lightly skims over the parts that were tinged in shades of blue and violet from where he’d dug in too hard. With cold yet curious tone, he asks, “Do these hurt?”

The answer to that question is simple – of course they hurt. You were in agony trying to fall asleep last night because of that. If he had asked you, however, if anything had hurt more then that was an entirely different story. You’d say yes because it didn’t just hurt, it tormented you to be around him and to almost suffocate on the anguish filling the room that he was experiencing, all because of you. You can’t recall him ever using the word “hate” but you wouldn’t be surprised if that was how he felt about you nowadays.

You pull together a sentence but your words are spoken too timidly for him to hear. He wraps his hand around the bruised skin, gripping where the marks were present, and squeezes as he’s demanding for you to speak up. Tears pool in your eyes and you’re wincing in pain, yelling out that they do. Gasping under the pressure he’s putting on your contusions.

Michael begins to laugh to himself for some reason and drops the clasp he has around your bruised limb. Your eyes, slightly narrowed, on him and you’re rubbing at the soreness. He sits back down on his chair and as he’s pulling in his chair, he mocks you, “I already know what you’re going to do before you do, little grey. You think you get the privileges of a normal human being? Don’t be silly. We both know where you belong.” His head tilts in the direction of the floor, “Down you go, on your hands and knees.”

You’re amazed at how well Michael pulls off the cold, clinical act but you fail to realise that this is what he’s taught himself throughout his life – through the hurt, the abandonment, the pain, the loss, the best and only thing he can do is to build the fortress inside him higher, and stronger; even if this means losing himself even deeper each time he rebuilds it. He’s done it so many times you could almost call him a master in carpentry.

With you following his commands, you’re resting on your bent knees and flat palms. Michael squats down for a minute, eyes perusing over your positioning. You part lips to speak but Michael snatches your face up in one hand and he snaps, “Does the little bitch wish to speak? Too bad she can only bark.”

His emphases on the word bark showed how serious he was, he throws you from his hand and stands up, hovering above like a figure of authority. “You want to speak? So do it, and you get points if you make it extra convincing.”

You put two and two together and come back with something that makes a whole lot of sense. He didn’t want you to speak, he wanted you to bark like a dog because his aim was to make you feel less than human. So, naturally, you don’t want to rock the boat and you show him how convincing you can be.

“Very good. I think you’ve earned the right to speak for a little bit.”

“Thank you, sir. What’s the point in all of this?”

“To teach you obedience, silly. You clearly lack it and all dogs need training sometimes. Oh, and before I forget, I have something for you... a gift, if you please.” Michaels words were mostly calm but there was a touch of condescension thrown in there for good measure. “Before you feel the need to waste any extra oxygen in this room by asking another trivial question, just know it’s something I’m sure you will love, like the slut you are.”

You’re trying to swallow down your nerves but it’s as if you’re a cat with a furball caught in its throat, wanting to cough them back up.

Michael can’t do anything worse to you than he already has.

You’ve been staring at the floor and psyching yourself up to bundle your nerves and shove them deep down inside you that you didn’t notice Michael had disappeared until he came back. You look up and there he is, holding up a red bag. “Little grey, get up off the floor and come and get this,” he swings the bag in front of you by the handles, like an owner waving a toy in front of their pet.

Dying to speak, you bite your tongue for fear of backlash. Michael already senses it in you and pipes up with, “I know, I know. This must be confusing, right? I’m punishing you and then I’m giving you gifts,” Michael grabs his chin in his free hand, pursing his lips before he continues, “I guess you’ll just have to sit on the edge of your seat to see what I have planned next, huh?”

You stick out your hand to grab the bag from him, looking at him in the eyes but you can’t work out what’s going through his mind. Part of you wonders if this is some kind of joke and then the other part wonders if he’s trying to win you over just to gain more control.

Your teeth chew at your bottom lip and you pluck up the courage to dive in, feeling what seems to be a bottle and something fluffy. You pull both out and place them on the table; a butt plug with a tail and a bottle of lube. “I don’t understand. Why these?”

“I just thought I’d get you something to help with your canine transformation since apparently you do quite like being a bitch.” His hands grab for the bottle, shaking it around before holding it out to you, “See? I’m not entirely cruel.”

He places the bottle back down on his desk, continuing to explain his plan, “You’re going to wear this, if not for me then for your own self, because I can promise you things will be worse if you don’t.”

Your eyes hit the plug – it wasn’t like you hadn’t had anything up there before and it wasn’t overly huge so you figured you could do it.

“Do I make myself clear?”

You nod your head.

“Good. Now show me just how clear I’ve made myself.”

Michael points at the toy, “I want you to put a foot up on the chair so I can watch you stick that,” then he points at your ass, “In there. I also want you to look at me so I can feel every second of it. Got it?” He tongues his front teeth in some kind of sick enjoyment.

You bite back the nerves and nod your head again to show your understanding. Despite your submissive streak, you were being crushed slowly and painfully because this wasn’t how you wanted anything sexual with him to go.

With one foot propped up on the chair, you pick both the bottle and toy up, hands trembling slightly, and squirt fake slick on to the plug before rubbing it in and bringing it to your ass. The flesh of your behind hitting Michael’s gaze.

“No. Turn your face around and look at me when you do it. I want to see you.”

Was this just a punishment or his own fetish?

You turn, facing Michael, trying your best to be brave but you knew he’d be able to see the pain. It was pain because over and over again thoughts like you’ve done this to him, he’s hurting because of you, you worthless piece of shit, Michael is right to teach you like this ran through your mind.

For the first time in who knows how long his eyes light up as he’s staring at you pressing the tip of the foreign object into your hole, gasping slightly as it easily slides in. He’s tried to remain calm and composed this whole time but even he can’t hide his own enjoyment, whether it be from the power or from him fill your ass with something, and it’s showing. He’s biting down on his fingers at his own titillation over your docility.

“Wow, you didn’t even cry out in pain, almost as if it’s not your first time filling that ass of yours with something.”

His eyes are stuck on you, particularly on your ass, as his feet lead him to be behind you. His hands pull at your hair back his direction, you too were growing aroused but trying to hide it, “You really are a slut. Shall we see how much you can take?”

Taglist: @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sensitivethot @sammythankyou @sevenwondr @langdonsdemon @creamy-pasta-boi

 Also wanted to add in you darlings since you loved the first two parts!! @icylangdon @langdonsrapture @cocosfern

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #206

“have you ever wished for death and prayed all night for your last breath?”

Do you always read the book before you see a movie based on a book? No. When you’re out with friends, do they ever encourage you to spend money you should be saving? 1.) I don't hang out w/ anyone now, 2.) but even when I did, they all knew I didn't make money. Is there anything you’re trying to save up money for? What? Perpetually tattoos, I want a PS4 super badly to play a novel of games I've been dying to play (SotC and Spyro trilogy remaster, I'm @ing you so hard), I need a car soon as I plan to at least try and get my license in the near future, I'd love to always have enough to immediately go to Sara's in case of an emergency, a trip to South Africa... but those are gonna take a good while to complete. I have my priorities straight for when I get a job. Have you ever watched a movie you didn’t really want to see just because a friend asked you to? Yeah. Did you end up liking the movie, anyway? There's been many cases of the above situation, so I'm sure in some instances I have. Heard any great songs for the first time lately? What songs? Hmmm, quite a number. "Radio" by Rammstein is great, and I love "bury a friend" and "bad guy" by Billie Eilish. What is your favorite urban legend? m o t h m a n and the joysey devil. Probably top two. GAH I love so many though????????????? Like Skinwalkers?????????????? And WENDIGOS????????? Have you seen all the cool shit?????????????? Do you remember the last nightmare you had? What was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever hopped on any bandwagons? HAHA. Freshman year, high school... I "liked" screamo or alternative-type bands I'd barely ever listened to or even enjoyed to fit in with the emos aldkjfalkwejr. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? Definitely not a complete one, but I can get pretty annoyed if in WoW we're in a heroic dungeon and people don't know the mechanics you should have already learned + read new ones that're right there in the goddamn journal laksdjfaoweir and then some people just totally ignore your advice and alskdjfwleiruwqoeif x2. Then again I've been that confused asshole in a couple raiding situations BUT LOOK they're harder and I had too much to catch up on okay. Still no excuse by WHATEVER. Have elitists on a fansite ever intimidated or talked down to you? I don't believe so. Is there anything you swear you will never do again? A few things with certainty. How late do you usually stay awake? I can literally go to bed as early as 7 to as late as 11 or rarely later. I do NOT have a schedule. Started months ago, and at first it frustrated and stressed me out quite a bit, but by now, I've just accepted it for me. Do you have pets? If so, how did you choose their names? Teddy: sister named him, but I'm sure it was the "cute as a teddy bear" type thing; Bentley: no clue; Roman: it sounded majestic, cats are majestic; Venus: pretty, and her coloration is similar to the planet; Kaiju: totally badass for an iguana that's gonna grow to be a big 'ole scaly boy; and Mitsu: I had a theme of giving my rats cutesy "M" names. Do you ever buy special treats for your pets? Occasionally. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? Did a middle school student write this? If you're pretty fond of something, there you go, you're a fan. Sure, some are more intense, but that doesn't make the more casual ones not "real." What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? Idk, I don't pay attention. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? Christ, without. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? HA. No. It is RARE I'll find a cute one, and that's always only online. Make pretty ones for plus-sized women a normal find, jfc. Idk why, but I am very picky with bras. Like good fucking luck seeing me without a shirt, so like,,,, why do I bother????? What length do you like your shorts to be? UM you will NOT see me in SHORTS. Have you ever cut off jeans or other pants and made them into shorts? Perhaps Mom has when I was a kid? But I have no memory of this ever happening. Have you cut the sleeves out of T-shirts to make tank tops? I don't think so. Have you ever modified a piece of clothing and hated how it turned out? ^ What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Ah jeez, what's the last time I even watched one. Idk. What was the last disappointing book you read? And I haven't read a book in even longer. Is there anything you’re really excited about? JOB. OPPORTUNITIES. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Vines, like shit dude. I can go on massive binges. What was the last thing you rolled your eyes about? I don't recall. What would you consider the greatest song ever recorded? Why? Yeesh, that's a big thing to decide. I recently discovered "A Reason to Fight" by Disturbed though, and it is. Incredible. Just read the lyrics to refresh my mind, and yeah, goosebumps. Do you like Hellboy? If so, do you prefer the old movies or the new one? Never seen any. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Dory, probably. But man, there's too many to choose from. Last thing you purchased just for fun? *shrugs* Do you even like behind-the-scenes stuff or does it ruin the magic for you? IF I'm real into the product, I love that stuff!! I've seen like every little BTS Silent Hill thing there is, probably, multiple hours' worth. What is your favorite thing about Mac computers? They're small and lightweight. What is your favorite thing about PCs? They generally hold much more memory. What are some errands you need to run soon? I don't have "errands" yet. Have your parents ever tried to convince people there was something wrong with you, when their “diagnosis” wasn’t accurate? No. List 3 of your best memories, times you wish you could go back and repeat. In no order, just as they come to me: 1.) First hug with Sara when we met at the airport; 2.) THE LOOK ON SARA'S FACE when she saw me in her room on her birthday (probably fave memory of all time, actually); 3.) seeing meerkats for the first time at the zoo. Ohhhh or maybe the true realization I was happy without Jason. But idk, that was SUCH a gradual process where I didn't feel ecstasy in like one moment. What color was your high school graduation gown? Ew, it was this obnoxious red. The majority apparently voted for it, while I was on the navy team. Are your parents’ dreams for your life different than your own? Mom's pretty dead-set on me being a vet, but she doesn't try to push me into it or anything. I know she just wants happiness for me. I haven't got a clue about Dad. Have your dreams for your life changed? Of course. What are your dreams now? HAPPY, stable job that I thoroughly enjoy, well-off financially (I don't aim to be rich, just "safe," you could say), healthy marriage, own my own home, travel to a few places, did y'all think I was gonna forget "meet Mark???"... stuff like that. What was your dream as a child? It changed plenty of times, but my earliest goal was to be a paleontologist. Do you feel safe in your country? Sure, I guess. Safer than most places. If applicable, do you feel safe at your school? N/A Would you ever want to learn sign language? It'd be cool, sure, but it's not something I'm interested in pursuing. How many meals do you eat a day? 2-3. Sometimes just one "real" meal. Do you own any succulents? No. What color are your walls? A hideous puke green. Why. What color were the walls in the bedroom you grew up in? I don't remember at all. What was the last song you listened to on repeat? "Love Falls" by HELLYEAH. What is your favorite style (or styles) of dance? Modern. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No. Have you ever sung a solo? No. Which insects are you afraid of? Most, really. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of an insect, when it’s so tiny? It depends on the insect, of course. Even if I do know what it is and it's "safe," I'll still typically freak if it surprises me. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Hmmm. Sara, I believe? What are you waiting for? Jesus FUCKING Christ on a bike a job. What do you usually feel like doing the most at home? Stuff on the laptop. What grade were you in when you had your first crush? I don't remember... For "puppy dog love," I believe maybe the 4th grade, but I may be wrong. I'd say my first *real* crush was on a guy named Sebastian in my freshman year of high school. Shit man, did a lot go down my freshman year. I'm just reminiscing and crushes jumped between like five dudes 'til Jason won. At what age did you start experiencing sexual attraction, if any? Some time in middle school, I think? Like that's when I had my first bisexuality crisis: 6th or 7th grade. Have you ever split open a rock with a hammer, to see the glitter inside? No, but FUCK I WANNA. What type of tree do you see the most of where you live? There's a pine tree outside my window. Oh, and there's a pine tree in my back yard. Oh, what's that across the road? Woods of pine trees. Where do all birds in NC live? In pine trees. What does our air smell like? Pine trees. Where is your favorite place you’ve lived? My previous home as far as location; house itself, where I am now. It's got its issues, but it's cozy and a perfect size for just two people. What states have you lived in? Just 'ole North Carolina. Take me awaaaaaaaaaaaay- Do you wish you were someone else? Sometimes. What is your favorite thing about the month in which it is now? Literally just flowers. That's it. It. Everything else can suck a legion of dicks. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Girt, Jason (if he counts), Alon, Maria... I had a few "best" ones. ^Are they still your best friends now? Girt is my closest thing to a "best friend" if you don't include my girlfriend. Do you live near the mountains? No, they're on the opposite end of the state. ;___; Do you live near a beach? We're like, two-ish hours away. What is your favorite beach that you’ve been to? Idk and idc, beaches aren't my thing. Do you collect seashells? Not seriously, but I'll keep a cool one if I find one. If you were to start a new collection, what would it be? If I was not ashamed of looking like a 23-y/o pre-teen in love with Just Bieber, I'd have more Markiplier merch than you'd fucking believe. (One of my biggest regrets in life was not buying the tasteful nudes calendar; I will eternally smite myself for being too embarrassed to have to explain why I would have that hanging above my bed rip.) If you had to pick one year and describe it as the best year of your life that you want to relive again, which year would it be? 2017 was fuckin litty titty. Is your world view the same as your parents’? In some ways with Mom, and I do know Dad and I differ on a few things. Well, if I learned more about his more political beliefs, I feel I'd probably disagree with most. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Are you the person you thought you’d be when you were younger? No. Are you a confrontational person, or the peacekeeper? I'm a massive peacekeeper. I avoid confrontation like the PLAGUE. Do you like to read? Not nearly as much as I used to. Like all I ever read nowadays are RP posts as I obviously have to reply to them, but if they're long, it is common I procrastinate on reading it... ;_; Do you sleep too much or not enough? Probably too much, especially when I go to bed early. Although, I do wake up throughout the night and sometimes officially pretty early. Then some days I have a 1-2 hour nap, so that just adds to it. Who is your best friend? Sara. <3 How did you two meet? YouTube. How did you meet your current bf/gf? ^ How far away is your closest family member? Well I live with my mom, but she's at work atm. The last time you did something with BOTH of your parents was? BOY OH FUCKING BOY. My mom's the most bitter witch towards him, so even for family events, Dad usually only stops by to avoid creating a goddamn wreck, such as at birthday dinners. I think the last time they were in the same house was for my nephew's birthday half a year ago, I believe. What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween!!! Now that I have a niece and nephew who grasp the concept of Santa, Christmas is also really special to me. I don't want kids, but watching those sweethearts get so excited over their presents is magical. For me personally, the holiday has grown more and more about celebrating family, especially as we continue to branch out/go our own ways. So I guess I like the idea of Halloween better and would enjoy it more if I actually had something to do, but as far as joy goes, Christmas. Do you like pumpkin pie? I hate anything and everything pumpkin-flavored. The last time you went to the doctor, what were you there for? It was the see my psychiatrist. Do you take any medication regularly? Yeah. Is there any particular view you have on insane people? I see "insane" versus "sane" as far more of a gradient shift instead of a direct split; there're levels. I actually do legitimately think I at some juncture in the aftermath of the breakup qualified as slightly insane, yet I wasn't dangerous or entirely out of touch with reality. So if you tell me someone's actually insane, I'm going to fear them being the explosive, entirely unpredictable and loopy kind, but I know the person may be calm and somewhat stable on the outside, too. You gotta consider the severity. Do you believe in any conspiracies? 9/11 was orchestrated by the government and you cannot change my mind. I'm not totally sold on this one and lean more towards "nah" (I think), but the "we live in a simulation by a future civilization" is not that far-fetched at all if you actually look into it. It's very interesting, whether or not you're sold on it. Hell, Neil deGrasse Tyson firmly believes in it. Out of your friends, who is the funniest? Girt makes me laugh at the snap of his fingers, it seems. Anything you need to get rid of? I'm sure somewhere... Do you have any wasted talents? Animal knowledge and compassion, probably... I know I could make a fantastic rehabilitator for animals, among a plethora of other animal-related preservation and protection actions I could actively engage in. Well, I'm going back to school for zoology, but even now, I want to do more. There is a wildlife rehab place I may be able to volunteer at soon, tho! Mom's talking to a guy at work about me helping there. DAMN, livin a dream. Do you let the little things get to you? The issue could be as small as a single cell and it could still bother me. How often do you cry? Maybe once in a week, possibly longer. I don't know if you mean like really cry or just tear up/lightly cry. The latter is pretty common, but the other, not so much. Even if I want to cry, my jaw just entirely locks the hell up and I physically can't get it out. Is there anything you’re trying to prevent? I mean besides the common sense things everyone takes action to avoid, hm. I feel like there's so much, yet nothing is coming to me? Well, actually, it's usually a daily struggle to prevent at least one OCD cycle. When was the last time you were told you were cute? *shrug* When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life? It's been quite a while... At least over a year ago, when I began to get antsy with wanting a job and later going back to school. It just all started when I realized I was healed from the breakup and ready to move forward in life, but I wasn't. Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Multiple people. What colors has your hair been? Dirty blonde, brown, red, and purple. I've had red and purple highlights, and I naturally have blondish ones, too. I'm ready to dye it again, jfc. Most attempts are failures because my hair does NOT take color well whatsoever. It's only ever worked perfectly with the brand Splat, and my hair soaked in the dye for a LONG time before washing it out. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? We share interest in plenty of the same bands, Mom especially. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? MY LITTLE SISTER. Haven't seen the woman in three years, but I can promise you Jason's mom still has it to a legendary degree. How expensive is too expensive for a pair of shoes? I haven't looked for shoes in so long that I don't even know the average price. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? Honey Nut Cheerios, normal Cheerios I think, and we have a little bit of the chocolate chunk Special K cereal left over. It's got to be stale by now (it's not even closed fully); I need to remember to toss it. What’s the last thing you spent over $10 on? Ummm I'm not sure. Over $30? I think my tongue piercing was $40? Maybe even lower? Or slightly higher?? I don't remember. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? I think so. The one time I was locked out of my house in the snow with Teddy and I waited like a fucking hour until I broke down, absolutely freezing (I was in my pajamas, dude), and walked down the road to try and get help (I needed to call my mom, obviously, and I didn't have my phone), I believe it was the third neighbor who answered. Turned out being a retired deputy who was super intimidating yet kind at the same time; he let Teddy and me stay in his house (mind you, Teddy is incontinent and didn't have his diaper on, which I warned him about) while Mom was on her way home. He gave me a jacket and some water, even when I said I was fine, but you could tell he wasn't totally sure about trusting this random, sobbing girl at his door because he asked me a thousand questions about my story and quizzed if I really did live in this area. Obviously a good cop, but after a day like that, I was just terrified of an old man who appeared a bit gruff. But thankfully Mom got there to save the day and I am forever grateful for that guy. WOW what a story for a simple question. Is there a bulletin board in your room? No. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? "Health freak" seems a bit extreme for both of them, but Mom is more concerned about health in general. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We just have tortilla chips, I think. I try to keep snacks out of the house to avoid temptation, and who eats plain tortilla chips. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Mom's. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Most would probably notice my Nightmare Before Christmas poster first, being as big as it is and on the wall opposite the entrance. Do you prefer the truth, even if it’s harsh? YES. I NEED to know this kinda stuff, even if the truth is really hard to hear. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I don't think so. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? I think I did when my very first band teacher did. EVERYONE loved him. Like, the entire school. Does your kitchen look like it was designed in a completely different decade? No? When’s the last time you wore heels? Great question. Probably not since my sister's wedding in '16. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? My grampa's on Mom's side. What’s the best date movie? Probably a rom com? Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. How many pairs of jeans, all together, are in your house? Zero. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I'll swear under my breath or seethe in frustration, but I never yell. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? No. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Whenever she starts dating a guy, she dips, and whenever/if ever we talk, she rambles absolutely endlessly about him. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't possibly care less about how your eyebrows look. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman and Bentley sure do. Bentley is a Professional Fly Moncher, specifically. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Uhhh good question. Probs the night before Sara got here for my b-day. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Hm, good question! I'd ask her, but I don't want her to ask me why I am lmao. What TV family reminds you of your own family? Probably none. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? No. I don't remember what I thought, but I know it wasn't that. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No, I think? Well Dad gives my sisters and me way too much money for Christmas and always tells us to ask him if we need anything, but I pretty much never ask him for said things, so I don't know the extent he'd go. Are there any drawers in your house that are just filled with junk? Pretty much. Is the last person you spoke to in love? That's my mom, so I doubt that with all I know. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? I don't believe so. What was the last movie to make you cry? I think the last was Coco. Moana may have made me tear up, but I can't remember... Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? Not to my memory. What time do you usually go to sleep at sleepovers, if ever? I haven't been to a sleepover in God knows how long. Who was the main character in the last book you read? Alice Liddell. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Via YouTube, Jeffree and his boyfriend. Irl, I don't know. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not very much. Like I've had brief daydreams about it, sure, but it's not something that's on my mind a lot. Still got a long time before that happens. What was the last unpleasant thing to wake you up? My cat not knowing how to keep his mouth shut. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Well, it depends; stars if we're in a completely isolated area where you can see them crystal clear or the clouds are boring, but otherwise, clouds if their design and colors are cool. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. Do you ever wonder what the opposite sex do at sleepovers? No. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom, no questions asked. When’s the last time you broke plans? Why? I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to see my VR coach that day. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes, my sister's. I was a bridesmaid. It was an absolutely awful experience because I was hot as fuck, it was triggering as HELL with me still grieving Jason, and I felt positively hideous in a dress when I was at such a horrible weight. I wish so dearly I could redo that day; I fell like I put a serious damper on my sister's big day. Would you feel safer with an alarm system or security cameras? Hm, depends on the scenario... I guess an alarm system? Like security cameras will show a murderer climbing through my window, but they're not gonna wake me up to save my ass. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? So long it smells nice, isn't watery, and doesn't only add oil to my hair, I don't care much. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit in front, in the back, or in the middle? Hm... idk. When I took the bus home with Jason, we always sat in the back, and that's really the only time I took a bus regularly. I think otherwise, I'd prefer the middle, closer to the front? I think I usually did that on occasions like band competitions and such. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, that's rare. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Meerkat Manor. Though I would hope they'd lessen down on the false story-telling. Stick to the true KMP events. When you feel stressed, do you take things out on the wrong people? Sometimes. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? N/A Are you sensitive to caffeine? Definitely not. My system's too used to it, probably. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. I'm 23. :^) Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? German. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? SURPRISINGLY no, at least to my memory. Do you like Vitamin Water? Never tried, don't want to. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Dad and me on his birthday. Do you know anyone that uses Sprint as their phone carrier? Idk. Well, I think. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? Sometime during Bobby's visit literally days ago. I already forgot who took it... and who else was in it lmao. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, two. A meerkat pair and then a far less extra pair that're closer to socks. I think they have cats on them? I got them for Christmas I think and haven't worn or seen them much. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? Not a fan of either, but Carrie Underwood is more tolerable and even has a couple songs I enjoy. Name something negative that you hate about yourself: I'll jump to a conclusion within .02 seconds of something negative happening. Or not even "negative" or something that's purely in my head. Is your house currently hot, cold or just right? The house itself is fine, and my room is just right because I have my fan on. Is there a Dead End road near where you live? I can't think of one off the top of my head, but it's likely, really. There's lots of those here. Growing up, did you see your cousins often? No. We live many states away on both parents' sides. Where was your first job at? GameStop. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? (Celebrities) It's been like two days and I'm over seeing the James Charles/Tati drama everywhere. You can't be interested in the YouTube community without being drowned in that shit right now somehow someway on any YT-coverage page and YouTube itself. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? I personally haven't. Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? I very openly and severely judge you if fucking height means that much to you. Do you mind being the third wheel? Not really, no. I'd only feel uncomfortable if they were getting pretty intimate. Has a kiss ever made you weak in the knees? Um I didn't know that was actually a thing so no. Do you feel comfortable buying condoms? Never been in that position. Have you ever dated two people at once? No. Have you ever been tested for STDs? No. Well wait, that time I gave blood I probably was just out of safety protocol. Have you ever run into your ex with his/her new sweetie? No. Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? When I was in that "wait does this break the abstinence rule" phase, yeah. God was I technical. Have you ever had a condom break during sex? N/A Do your parents know if you’re having sex? Well considering I'm with a girl and she lives states away, that answer's obvious. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Chips. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? A dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? A painter, maybe? If I could play the electric guitar, though... idk. What social media sites do you visit the most? Facebook. What did you hair look like in high school? Long, thick as fuck, brown (or dyed black) with some sort of highlight, and it was split to the left with the hair swooped over my right eye. Basically "I want the emo swoop but my hair is too fucking thick to obey hairspray." :^) Which dollar store do you shop at? Depends on what's closest, usually. We rarely ever stop at one unless it's for candy to bring into the movie theater, seriously lol. I think usually Dollar General? Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? WE DON'T KNOW EITHER. Skeletons or scarecrows? s k e l l y b o y s Has anyone ever given you the silent treatment? Yep. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? I learned on that day I hate giving blowjobs. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No, thankfully. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you ‘shortie’ instead of girl? BOY I would fucking cackle. I hate that word. No. Do you ever watch The Simpsons? No. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? OH MY GOD I remember that!!! But no. What IS your most embarrassing moment? Too lazy to go through the novel of 'em to pick the worst. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? You assume I find myself either. Do you own any mini skirts? I don't own any skirts period. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? No. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? I'm sure she has before. Do you have a deep voice? For a girl, yeah. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? *shrugs* Exclusively for me, probably never. Do you do something new with your hair practically every day? No, it's the same everyday. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? Delivery guy. Has anyone ever licked your foot? Ew no. Do you play games with boys/girls, like ���hard to get’? I'm not 15. Has a guy ever quoted a romantic Shakespeare line to you? No, and I'm glad, as I'd cringe into another realm. Is there a Sonic where you live? Yes, I LIVE- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. I look less high, at least. What did you eat for lunch today? A pb&j. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers. What is in the back seat of your car right now? I don't own a personal car. Mom has a a load of stuff in the back of hers, at least I think... That's super rare, but she's been so ungodly busy idk if she's had time to clean it out. I haven't paid attention so can't recall. What was the last thing you threw up? Idr. Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don't smoke and never have, so idk. What is your favorite episode of Friends? I don't watch it, and I haven't seen many episodes at all if for whatever reason I was in a room and it was on. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you been to a strip club? No. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Hell if I remember. It had to either be my 16th birthday when Jason's family was all together watching the Super Bowl, or a hockey game with my dad. Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my sister's. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Nicole. Ever go to camp? No. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yeah. Do you have a tan? HA no. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't want kids. Are you someone’s best friend? Yeah. Favorite gemstone? Dragon's breath opal. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru, almost always. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. When was the last time you went swimming? Last summer at the beach. Holy fuck the water was so perfect. Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No. Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No. Like... just why. Do you ever get flu shots? No.

[vortexofentertainment]

The Few Things - Chapter 9

I know I updated this just a few days ago, but you guys don’t mind me going ahead and adding another, right? I hope not, because this chapter just kind of happened because of the outpour of love from the last one and from the multiple notifications I’ve gotten about others liking/reblogging previous chapters. So, THANKS, YOU GUYS. It seriously means so much because I honestly never thought anyone would actually like my writing. Here’s chapter 9. I hope you guys enjoy xoxo

Chloe was nervous. She never expected Beca to shoot her down so quickly, but then again, she wasn’t really sure what to expect. Beca obviously didn’t enjoy singing in front of people, even though she was amazing at it, and Chloe just didn’t understand why she wouldn’t want to share that gift. 

The conversation had happened only a few hours ago, and Chloe was still trying to figure out a way to convince Beca to join. It had been on her mind nonstop. Well, not just that. To rephrase, Beca was on her mind nonstop. 

They had made out for hours but hadn’t talked about it. They had each said some pretty personal things since meeting one another but neither had talked about it. Chloe was a talker. She loved to talk things out. She was also a toucher. She loved to be touching whoever she was with or crushing on. It made her feel good. It was hard for her to explain to anyone who didn’t just understand. 

But Chloe knew Beca wasn’t really the touchy-feely type or the talkative type for that matter. She had figured that out so far. Although, there seemed to be something about Chloe that brought those walls down for Beca. She had opened up to her more and even let Chloe hold her hand right after they first met. What was that all about?

And they kissed. Actually kissed. Like, in a way that could have led to more, but neither wanted to push the boundaries. Chloe wanted to cross that line. She wanted to completely erase it all together and just be with Beca all the time, touching and feeling and talking and kissing. 

Her mind was in overdrive and every single thought consisted of Beca.

Except, she was totally ignoring what Beca was saying so she could think more about Beca. Which was weird, but still. Chloe had zoned out completely and Beca had absolutely noticed. 

“Dude, are you even listening?” Beca asked with a small smirk on her face. She nudged Chloe’s shoulder with her own. 

The two girls were sitting on Beca’s bed with no distance between them. Chloe had scooted over so close that the side of her body was pressed against Beca’s. She still couldn’t get over the fact that she was allowed to do this. 

Chloe looked over at the brunette and raised her eyebrows in response. No, she hadn’t been listening. She had been thinking of Beca joining the Bellas, which led to Beca singing, which led to Beca in the shower, which led to... 

“I was saying, I think we should maybe go on a proper date sometime.”

Chloe really hated that she had missed that part of the conversation because Beca looked extremely nervous and way out of her wheelhouse. She was twisting the ring around on her pointer finger which Chloe had come to notice as a sign that Beca was uncomfortable. 

So, to maybe ease the nerves, Chloe reached out and took Beca’s hand in her own. The coolness of the ring being pressed between her own fingers made a chill run down her spine. She loved feeling every little bit of Beca’s presence. 

“I would love to,” Chloe smiled. She gave Beca’s hand a squeeze. 

Beca smiled at her. It was a beautiful smile. It was genuine, Chloe could tell, and it seemed to light up Beca’s dark eyes. When she closed her lips to hide her teeth, the smile was somehow even more adorable. It was kind of like a smirk now. The one that Chloe knew would get her to do almost anything. 

Beca turned away from Chloe, looking back down at the laptop sitting in front of her. She was clicking around with her free hand now, not daring to take her other away from Chloe’s grasp.

Chloe let her head rest on Beca’s shoulder. She was watching her do something on a digital mixing board. She had one earbud in and Chloe could hear the faint sound of a beat being played. She wanted to know what Beca was doing, and how she did it, but she also didn’t want to bother her. 

“You know I wasn’t trying to be mean when I told you that a capella wasn’t my thing, right?” Beca asked out of the blue.

Chloe shifted her head so that she was looking at Beca’s profile now. Her lips were parted just slightly, and she was concentrating really hard on the screen. Chloe reached up and tilted Beca’s chin towards her so that the brunette was forced to make eye contact.

A grin spread over Chloe’s face as she took in her beauty. Beca’s eyes were serious but there was a lightness to her features. The way Beca looked at Chloe made her heart flutter a bit. She watched the dark blue eyes skim down her face to her lips, then up to her nose, and finally back to her eyes. 

“I know,” Chloe said simply. “I get it, it’s a little weird. I mean, we make music…” Chloe stopped for dramatic effect. “With our mouths.” 

“Hmm,” Beca chuckled at that. “I think I could think of some better uses for your mouth.”

Chloe’s mouth fell open. She was surprised at Beca’s forward flirtation, but she also loved it. 

“Beca Mitchell!” Chloe exclaimed as she sat up a little more. “What are you implying?” 

Beca grinned widely as she took her earbud out and pushed her laptop to the side. She moved so that she was straddling Chloe. Chloe’s breath hitched in her throat as she felt Beca settle down on her. 

“I think you know,” Beca said quietly as she brought her hands up to cup Chloe’s face. 

Before Chloe could say anything else, Beca’s lips were pressed against hers and her tongue was in her mouth. Beca was being very forward and it made Chloe tingle all over. 

She grabbed a hold of Beca’s shirt, pulling the brunette closer to her. She could feel Beca’s hips move just once, involuntarily, against hers and it definitely had Chloe on edge faster than she cared to admit. 

It took every ounce of Chloe’s self-control not to flip Beca onto her back and have her way with her. She didn’t want to move too fast. Beca had just kissed her for the first time yesterday, kissed a girl for the first time yesterday. Chloe wanted to do this right and to make sure Beca was ready.

But Beca was making it hard. The way her tongue caressed Chloe’s and the way she sighed into the kiss whenever Chloe would pull her close again… it was too much for her to comprehend. Beca had a good grip on her neck, hands on either side, gently letting her thumb slide over Chloe’s skin. 

She couldn’t take not having control anymore. Chloe quickly and expertly flipped Beca so that she was on her back. She wasn’t going to take it further, but the look on Beca’s face when she looked up at Chloe definitely made her think about it. 

She settled between Beca’s legs and dipped down to reconnect their lips. She held herself up, thankful for the extra pushups and workouts she did to make it possible so that she wouldn’t squish Beca. 

Chloe gasped when she felt Beca’s hand slip under her shirt and settle on the small of her back She only let it stop her for a second, taking a deep breath to calm herself before kissing Beca again. 

Beca’s fingernails scratched across Chloe’s skin, sending goosebumps scattering all over her body. A particularly uncomfortable warmth had settled between her legs and Chloe was dying for a just a little bit of relief.

But she wouldn’t dare do anything without talking to Beca first. That was her main priority. She would kiss Beca all day long. She would squirm and fight her urges because she hoped it would eventually all pay off. She would do nothing to make Beca uncomfortable, but when the time was right she would do everything to make Beca scream her name. 

Chloe had to push the thought from her mind. 

“Short sta- WHOAH!” Chloe heard as the door to Beca’s bedroom slammed open. 

Her initial reaction was to push off of Beca quickly, so she did. She stood beside the bed, as she took note of a blonde girl standing in the doorway. 

“AMY!” Beca yelled as the girl looked between the two of them. 

“Sorry! My bad!” the girl, apparently Australian, apologized as she backed out of the room. “I’ll just be out here!”

Chloe watched the door close as she took notice of her own state. She was breathless, and her mind was whirring, and the sight before her when she turned back around didn’t help.   

Beca laid there, propped up on her elbows with her legs slightly parted from where Chloe had vacated them, lips tented red with the kiss, and hair just a tiny bit mussed from Chloe’s actions. She was breathless, too. Her chest moved quickly as she brought her gaze back to Chloe. She had a hint of annoyance in her eyes, but Chloe was sure she saw it vanish when they locked on hers. 

Chloe wanted nothing more than to crawl back onto the bed and finish what they had started. She could see that Beca was considering it, too. The way the brunette’s eyes traveled up and down her body. Chloe was sure she wasn’t hiding her desires like she initially hoped to. 

“So, that’s Fat Amy?” Chloe asked, breaking the silence. It probably wasn’t the best thing to say or do, but the tension was thick, and she had to do something to cut it. 

Beca groaned and brought her hands up to cover her face, causing her body to fall back on the bed in annoyance. Defeat? Chloe couldn’t really tell. All she knew is that Fat Amy may have saved her from making a huge mistake before Beca was ready. 

**

Chloe left not long after that. Beca was still annoyed at the fact that Fat Amy had just barged in. Then again, she wasn’t sure what else to expect. That seemed to be a hallmark of Amy’s personality along with being completely unreliable in most situations.

“Sorry about that, short stack,” Amy said as the door closed behind Chloe. Beca turned on her heels, pressing her back to the wood. She let her head fall back with a thump.

“It’s fine,” Beca mumbled. Because truthfully, maybe it was. Things were getting hot and heavy, and she wasn’t sure she was quite ready for that. Even when her body was screaming for her to take the leap, her head was telling her to slow the fuck down.  

“So…” Amy said awkwardly. “You’re into girls now?”

“Um, yeah,” Beca answered. “It’s kind of a new thing.”

“Cool,” Amy nodded. Beca could tell she wasn’t really sure what to say. The Australian also tended to say the wrong things at the wrong time, and the fact that she was being considerate enough to hold back meant a lot to Beca. 

The silence stretched out until Beca thought maybe Amy had suffered a stroke or something. She was never quiet for that long. Ever.

“So, you’re a lesbo?”

“I’m bi, Amy,” Beca exhaled as she ran her fingers through her hair. 

“Twice the fun!” Amy exclaimed.

“Oh my God,” Beca groaned. 

“Good for you, shorty.”

“What are you doing here, Ames?” Beca asked, trying to change the subject quickly. “I thought you were in Prague.”

“I was, but I got bored, so now I’m here.” 

“What exactly do you even do?” Beca asked. 

She could never figure out that part of Amy’s life out. In college, she was normal… well… okay, normal was a stretch. She definitely wasn’t as secretive. Then, after graduation, she did some kind of sideshow called Fat Amy Winehouse. Beca didn’t think she made a lot of money off of it, but maybe she did? Because one day, she told Beca she was going to travel the world and off she went.  

Amy mumbled something under her breath quiet enough for Beca to not be able to hear it. It was the usual response Beca got. She was starting to think Amy was a part of some secret organization or something. 

“Okay, well, I have some more work to do. You know where everything is, and your room is still made up,” Beca told her. Before walking past her friend, she stopped and looked down at her. “I’ve missed you, or whatever,” she mumbled and then went back off to her room. 

**

Chloe Beale Today 11:21 PM Chloe: Is it crazy that I can’t stop thinking about you? Chloe: Because if it is, then that’s totally not what I’m doing…

Beca smiled down at her phone. Her eyes were burning from staring at her computer for hours and hours. She was just about to lay down for the night and try to sleep, but now she would have to stay up. There was no way she was going to fall asleep on a sweet, sentimental Chloe. Even if that wasn’t exactly Beca’s cup of tea.

Beca: Everyone’s a little crazy, Beale.  Beca: but I’m totally thinking of you too so we can be crazy together Chloe: :) Chloe: So this date you mentioned… 

The date. The date Beca was so nervous to ask Chloe on or even really attempt to plan. She wasn’t really good at the stuff. 

She let her hands hover over the keyboard. What was she supposed to say? She knew she wanted to take Chloe out, which as a big deal for Beca. She wasn’t exactly out yet, not to her family. Her friends knew. Well, Amy knew. Stacie and Emily still hadn’t been filled in on all the blissful details of the last two days. 

The thought of how quickly she had gone from not being sure about her sexuality to very sure was crazy. All it took was Chloe looking at her, speaking to her, kissing her… just Chloe really. She had made Beca so sure, and Beca was certain that she didn’t want to stop kissing Chloe and that it was one million times better than kissing Jesse.  

Chloe: Becs… either you’ve been typing for ten minutes or youre freaking out.

Beca smiled a bit because of course, Chloe was already starting to figure her out and she wasn’t even her girlfriend yet. Girlfriend. Holy shit. That was… wow. 

Beca dropped her phone onto the bed and got up. She needed to think. She needed to figure out what she was doing. She had just been living in the moment since that hike. She really liked Chloe. Like, way more than she already should. 

Her phone vibrated again but she didn’t want to look at it. Instead, she grabbed her headphones and put them around her neck. She plugged them into her phone, strategically avoiding the message Chloe had just sent and started to play her music. 

“Amy,” Beca called as she exited her room. Her friend was nowhere to be seen. Beca assumed she was in the guest room getting ready for bed or possibly out of the apartment completely. 

She left, put the headphones over her ears as she descended the steps and started to walk down the street. The music blaring was therapeutic. It tuned out the world around her but helped her think at the same time. She switched her phone to ‘Do Not Disturb’ and dropped it back into her pocket. She just needed music. Nothing else to distract her.

She focused on only one thing and that was Chloe. She thought about how she felt when she was around her. How she felt safe and calm in her presence, but also flustered and overwhelmed. She thought about the way Chloe kissed her tenderly, which turned into hot and heavy, which led Beca’s mind to unspeakable places. She bit her bottom lip. Beca liked that thought a lot. Enough to know that she never wanted it to stop. 

That thought scared her. The whole forever feeling she got when she was around Chloe. She had known the girl for less than a month, and she was falling head over heels. That wasn’t what Beca did. Beca was a loner. She had made it that way with only three exceptions, well now four apparently. She was turning into a softy around Chloe. The walls she spent so long building were crumbling down.

The walls she built because of her family. Beca had spent her entire life trying to make them proud and win their approval. Her dad had never supported her dream of becoming a producer, even when she landed the amazing internship that turned into a permanent position. Although she wasn’t doing exactly what she wanted to do, she was making progress. 

Her mom, however, was on Beca’s side usually. Not always, but usually. Beca was a lot like her mother. They were both more closed off and that made it hard for Beca to really know exactly what her mom was thinking. It was kind of ironic, actually. She knew she did it to everyone else around her and just how frustrating it could be, yet she continued to do it. 

Her grandmother would never understand. The woman was too set in her religious ways, which made it hard for Beca. Her grandmother, or Gramgram as Beca called her, had basically raised Beca after her parents split. She spent many nights with her, went to church with her, and learned some of life’s most basic lessons from her. Beca saw now, though, that those lessons were doused in religion. She had come to form her own opinions on how things should be handled and the way the world works. 

She kept those opinions to herself though around her family. She was already the outsider for the most part, different than everyone else. She didn’t want to add the controversial opinions she had or put forth the energy to fight the argument that would definitely follow. None of it was worth it to her. She knew she wouldn’t change their mind and it would only upset them all. 

That’s how she felt about coming out, too. She hadn’t even had time to really think about it, but she knew it was something she wanted to avoid. She lived her life quite happily without discussing her romantic life with her family. Why change that now? 

Yes, they always pressured her to find a “man that could take care of and support her” or whatever, but Beca had been working on battling that for a while. She told them any chance she could that she didn’t need a man or anyone else in her life for that matter. She was just fine on her own and would make it one way or the other. They didn’t like that very much. 

Settling down really never appealed to Beca. She saw how easily it could all fall apart, and she wanted nothing to do with that. The pain and suffering her mom went through absolutely did not appeal to her. 

That could change though. Everything else seemed to be changing. Why not that, too? 

Beca looked up from where she had been staring at her feet as they moved along the pavement. She recognized the building she was in front of. She also recognized the redhead that was coming down the front steps of the building in a hurry. 

When Chloe looked up, she almost bumped into Beca. Her eyes were wide, and she looked worried. Her hair was down, and her curls were bouncing with each step she descended. She was still in her pajamas, pink short shorts and a white tank top that made her look absolutely adorable in Beca’s opinion. The amount of skin showing was a bit distracting as well.  

Beca pushed the headphones until they were hanging around her neck. The look on Chloe’s face was a mixture of confusion, worry, and maybe just a hint of anger. Beca had a feeling she knew what about, too.

“What are you doing here?” Chloe asked as she came to an abrupt stop in front of Beca.

“I, um,” Beca looked around. She wasn’t really sure how she got here. She was just walking, not really paying attention to the turns she was taking. Her body just kind of carried her here. “I was just out for a walk.”

“I was just about to come to see you,” Chloe said quietly. “You weren’t answering my texts. I got worried that I said something wrong or–”

“You didn’t,” Beca told her. She reached out and took Chloe’s hand. God, that was the last thing she wanted Chloe to think. “I just… ugh, I don’t know how to say it.”

Beca looked down at her feet again and caught sight of her fingers intertwined with Chloe’s. The way Chloe’s thumb was gently running over hers made her happy. Happier than she had felt in a long time. Why was she so scared of that?

“You don’t want to be with me,” Chloe said sadly. 

Beca’s head snapped up and she could see the tears forming in Chloe’s eyes. 

“What? No! That’s not…” How could she possibly think that? Then again, how could she possibly not think that? Beca was such a dick. She shouldn’t have ignored her. She should have just told her how she felt. She needed to fix it. “I do. I do so much, Chlo. That’s what scares me.” Beca’s heart was pounding. 

Chloe just looked at her. Those ice blue eyes were fixed onto Beca’s. She needed more. Beca knew she was confusing. She was confusing herself.

Beca gave Chloe’s hand a squeeze and pulled her closer. She grabbed her other hand so that they were now completely facing each other. This was it. She had to tell her. They had to work this out because the thought of losing Chloe Beale was too awful. 

“Can we go up to your apartment? I don’t really want to talk out here,” Beca said.

Without hesitation, Chloe was pulling her back up the steps of her apartment building. Beca stumbled a bit to keep up, but the grip Chloe had on her hand was unwavering. 

Before she knew it, they were up the three flights of stairs and sitting on Chloe’s couch. Chloe had dropped her purse by the door and Beca was now sitting nervously in front of her. 

“Okay, so…” Beca started. 

It was best if she just didn’t think about it. Just talk. That’s what she was going to do. Maybe it would help if she closed her eyes? But that would be weird. Yeah, she would definitely keep them open. 

“My family is not at all accepting of the LGBT community. So, my whole life I’ve been brought up in the religious strict no gay policy. It was bad. It was a sin. All that shit. I mean, once I was out of the house and could actually figure things out on my own, I saw how wrong that was. I know how wrong their opinions are, and not just on that issue. Basically everything. I don’t want to get into the whole religion versus God thing, but that’s just how they are. So, the chances of me coming out to them are slim to none because I just don’t think I could handle all of that, you know? Unless I find someone that’s completely worth it. And what scares me the most is that I’m starting to maybe think that you could be? Because, like I said before, I like you a lot. Way more than I probably should. And this is all just moving so fast and my feelings are just so fucked up and I can’t… I can’t seem to really figure out what’s happening in my head. All I know is that I want to be with you because you make me happy and I’ve never had anyone make me as happy as you do and it’s all just freaking me out. Because really there’s so much that you don’t know about me, but I want you to know and I’m sure you’ll learn it all pretty quickly because–”

Beca was interrupted by a hand over her mouth. Chloe was looking at her, eyebrows raised, trying to take in all the information that had just been hurled at her. 

“Babe, you’re rambling,” Chloe said quietly and with a tiny smirk. “It’s cute when you ramble, but I’m going to need a second to just process.”

Beca nodded with Chloe’s hand still over her mouth. She watched as Chloe’s twinkling eyes studied her and her hand slowly dropped down and took its place back in Beca’s. 

“So, you want to be with me?” Chloe asked, finally breaking the silence that was slowly killing Beca. 

“Um, yes,” Beca nodded. She watched as the smile that broke across Chloe’s lips widened. It caused Beca to smirk in return. “Do you, um, do you want to be with me?” she asked nervously. 

For Chloe to be the sentimental sappy one, Beca sure felt like she was the only one that put herself out there a lot in the relationship so far. She wasn’t entirely sure how Chloe felt towards her. She had an inkling of an idea, but Beca needed it spelled out for her most of the time. 

Chloe bit her bottom lip to try and contain her smile. “Yes,” she answered. Her face grew serious. “How about, for right now, we just focus on that? We can deal with your family later, but right now… let’s just focus on us and see where it goes.”

“I’d like that,” Beca nodded. “So, does that make us, um…”

“Girlfriends?” Chloe supplied, her smile beaming. “I think it does,” she giggled.

“Good,” Beca smiled too. Her heart was ready to burst. She doesn’t remember a time she was so happy. She also doesn’t remember a time she took such a leap. She prayed it paid off. She had a feeling it would.

CONTINUE

[doptimous]

VeC - chapter 2 - Antwerp

Here we are, second and last chapter of my contribution of @moonprincess92nz‘s Food Travel AU. It’s too long but I truly love Antwerp and I wanted to do it justice and then plot happened. *sigh*

He drifted in and out of sleep for nearly two hours and when finally, the bus stopped, Cassian felt overly disoriented. The night completely surrounded them, there was nearly no light outside and with Jyn still snuggled to his side, for the first time in days, he was actually a bit too warm. For such a small person, she ran surprisingly hot. The thought brought a new wave of warmth to his face and he was glad of the low light in the bus that prevented anyone to notice his blush.

He was lucky enough no one teased them but since Kes and Shara were all wrapped in their own bubble and Kay wasn’t the kind to comment on things like that maybe, maybe, he’d manage to avoid a public humiliation for indulging some human contact. After all, it wasn't his fault if Jyn fell asleep on his shoulder and okay, maybe he could have pushed her away slowly but why risking waking when she wasn't bothering him in any way? It didn't mean anything. And it didn't mean anything either when she blinked owlishly at him with her hair in disarray and the cutest smile on her lips.

“Hey,” he said stupidly, “we're here.”

If he could, he would have bang his head somewhere but luckily, no one heard him and Jyn seemed too out of it to notice the absolute nonsense of his words.

“Let's get out of this bus, shall we?”

That was a bit better but not for long because of course, Jyn realized what had happened and she blushed and stuttered an apology while trying to put the maximum distance between them and she nearly tripped on the strap on her bag in her rush to flee. Cassian reached for her arm to help her and with what he hoped was a very neutral tone, told her, “It's okay. Take your time, everything's fine.”

Then he grabbed his bag and went to join Draven and Mothma on the parking lot and didn't get time to worry about her anymore. Part of him wanted to stay but a bigger one feared the comment of the team so he chose to put some distance between them, at least for now. Since Kay was overseeing the unloading of the bus, probably to be sure that his equipment wasn't manhandled in any way, Cassian went to discuss with both directors about the upcoming shooting. The schedule wasn't too full and it didn't involved anything weird. A quick diner here at Antwerp followed by a few shots and a lunch the next day then they'd go to Brussels to take their plane and since it only took an hour to join the capital, they stayed here for two nights to minimize the cost of the bedding.

For now, of course, they had to check in their hotel if only to put their luggage away before filming. It would be unpractical to wander the city with a duffel bag and a suitcase so he followed Kay in the lobby and waited with the rest of the team to get his key. That when he noticed Jyn and Shara talking animatedly, well at least Shara was speaking with her hands and Jyn nodded while looking extremely bored and finally, Shara hugged her and left without another word.

“You're staring, dude,” Luke chuckled beside him, his phone in his hand. Cassian gaped but didn't deny it. He watched the Community Manager typed quickly on his screen and he nearly missed Kes walking behind him. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and whispered, “So, amigo, how was it to sleep with the girl of your dream, hu?”

Cassian resisted the urge to push him away and only huffed in response but of course, Kes wasn't deterred so easily.

“Just admit you like her, Andor, we all see it. And I'm pretty sure she likes you too.”

Luke scoffed at that but he never looked up from his phone so it was difficult to know if it was really addressed to them. Anyway, Cassian was relieved when Draven call for him and Kay to get their key and prepare for their first shooting. It was time to work and maybe, he'd think about how good it was to have in his arms later but nobody needed to know that.

–--

She was settling on her bed and finally talking to Bodhi when there was a knock on her door.

“Oh oh, you've got company!”

Of course, Bodhi had to hear it too but Jyn rolled her eyes and didn't bother to get up. “It must be Shara. She gave me her suitcase when we arrived because she was hungry and couldn't wait to pick something. She can't work with a empty stomach, or so she said.” She pushed her computer to the side and said loudly, “It's open, come in!”

Her friend didn't seem convinced but he didn't press on the subject. That was one of the best things about him. She smiled at him when he resumed his story about the daily life of their home and she was so focused on her screen, on her friend, she didn't notice it wasn't Shara who came in her room. When finally she saw Cassian, he looked absolutely dreadful.

“What happened?”

The question was out before she could think and she was immediately on her feet.

“Nothing, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I...”

Bodhi's voice interrupted whatever he wanted to say when he squealed happily, “So you score a night with your crush and you didn't tell me!!”

Jyn groaned, mortified. “Shut up, Bodhi! That's not... just shut up.”

Again, she pushed her computer away, as if it could help with her situation and looked back at Cassian with her best fake natural smile pretending Bodhi didn't say anything. “So, what are you doing here?” She tried to smile more genuinely but she was way too stressed to manage more than a pitiful grimace.

“I... My suitcase was...” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to avoid looking at her as much as possible. That was when Jyn realized she had her pants wide open and only a very slim tank top under her hoodie.

“Shara told me there was a mistake with the luggage and apparently, my suitcase should be here.”

Brow furrowed, Jyn walked past him to grab the suitcase Shara'd given her and indeed, now she looked more closely at the tag, it wasn't hers.

“Why would she ...”

“She set you up, mate!” Bodhi's voice rang loudly in the room, followed by his barely hidden laugh. Jyn scolded, as did Cassian but before she could say anything else, Bodhi added, “You should play her.”

“How?”

Bodhi grinned at Cassian when he sat at the edge of the bed to face her computer and Jyn would have blushed if she wasn't so upset at her teammates.

“Well, obviously this Shara wanted you to spend some times together outside of your work,” Bodhi began and his eyes bored into Jyn's like a 'and I totally wonder why' but he had the very bright idea to not say it loud. “So you could either pretend you spend the night together and go all mushy until they all get bored of it or-”

“Or we'll do the opposite and pretend-”

“No,” Cassian cut brusquely, “since she wanted to meddle, the best way to get back at her is to let her in the dark.”

“What do you mean?”

Cassian was now avoiding looking at both her and Bodhi and it was very frustrating, especially with a topic like that. Then he turned to her and nearly pinned her with his intense gaze.

“Do you trust me?”

There was something dark in his eyes but his lips were gently curled, as if he was fighting a smile. Jyn took his hand and nodded.

“Then go change, we're going on a date.”

This time, his smile was more obvious and clearly playful. Jyn grinned back and she just waved Bodhi off when he tried to know what they were up to. She had no idea what Cassian had in mind but she wouldn't refuse a date with him, even a fake one.

---

Founding an open supermarket at nine in the center of Antwerp was tricky but they managed to find a weird place underground but it was clean and it sold all kind of snacks and comfort food someone could want at night.

Jyn followed Cassian in silence as he grabbed random bags of candies or biscuits and finally, and the end of a third aisle, she asked, “So, what's the plan? Dying of sugar poisoning?”

Cassian stilled and looked down sheepishly.

“Well, I thought we could watch a movie or two in my room and I'd hope it seems conspicuous enough for Shara to take the hint-”

“You'd hope ? Well, sorry to tell you that but obviously you don't know Shara very well.”

He tried to hide his blush but Jyn saw it and smiled. He was cute when embarrassed.

“Okay so you're picking snacks for a movie night, but do you realize we've both eaten less than a hour ago?”

He nodded slowly and mumbled something about tomorrow morning that sounded highly suspicious but Jyn let it go because she wasn't sure how she felt about it. Instead, she grabbed two bags of candies and put them back on a shelf, replaced them by a bag of pop corn and went to the drink aisle for beer because if she was to spend the night in his room, pretending to whatever he had in mind, she preferred not to be to sober. She also picked a box of chocolates by the cashier because she could and when they went back to the hotel, they both had their arms full of junk food but at least, there was variety of it.

It was a bit weird to follow Cassian in his room, even if it was a perfect copy of her own it seemed intrusive and when she put her purchase on the bed she was glad she had alcohol with her. There was no place to sit beside the bed if they both wanted to see the screen. Cassian must have realized it too because he began to shuffle with his laptop, searching fr a way to plug it to the TV so Jyn opened her first bottle for the night, took a big gulp and shoo him away.

“Let the professional do her work, okay?” she teased while looking for the HDMI cable and when she found it, she held it to Cassian with a smirk. “See? I know my way around this kind of stuff.”

“Never doubt it.”

The way he said it, with such honestly and warm nearly made her blush and to avoid any more embarrassment, she asked, “What are we watching?”

Cassian pushed his laptop her way so she could see his list of movies. It was a very long list. He had almost every films of the last two years plus some older, a few classics and even some short films listed by foreign festivals.

“Wow, you're a real film-lover. I never thought I found someone who had anything from the ASSF.”

Again, Cassian hunched his shoulders and avoided her eyes and she was pretty sure his neck was red when he said, “I told you Kay'd stalked you when he'd learned you'll stand in for him... and well, you did a short film for the Aesthetic and-”

“And you had to watch it, of course.”

If anyone else had saw this particular movie she did in 2014 for the Aesthetic Festival, she would have felt ashamed, because it was bad but Cassian didn't mock her for it. Still, she drank some more because she didn't know what to say.

“you were cute in front the camera, too.”

She groaned but his smile was sincere so she didn't say anything else.

“So anything you fancy?” he asked in a blatant change of subject she was truly grateful for. “That's my to-watch list, so don't worry about me, choose whatever.”

He let her with his laptop and went to arrange the cushions so they can lean on the headboard and she was glad he didn't try to force them to stay too close. She picked up a random title and went to sit next to him. She could do it. After all, even if they were on his bed, it wasn't really his, he never slept in it and it was large enough for the tow of them, they didn't have to touch. She took the pop corn bag he gave her and focused on the screen because if she started to think about how she was here, she'd make things awkward.

In hour in the film, she was in her third Chouffe and she felt pretty dizzy. Cassian wasn't any better. They both giggled stupidly and once again, Jyn felt herself falling. It shouldn't become a habit to sleep on his shoulder, yet here she was. The film was good but it was late and she was drunk. By the time the credits rolled, she couldn't keep her eyes open but when she tried to get up, Cassian pushed her down on the bed. He ran his hand through her hair and she would have purr if she could.

“Shh, stay here. I'll go sleep in your room, don't worry.”

Jyn mumbled something that sounded dangerously like a too honest version of “no problem, I can share,” but when she opened her eyes again, she was alone in his bed and she didn't bother to get up. It was just an hotel room, they could perfectly switch, nobody should care.

---

Antwerp by day light was a very pleasant surprise and Cassian really needed it after his fiasco of the night before. He should never have suggest to go out with Jyn in the first place and he shouldn't have made her come to his room. He'd made a fool of himself and even if she hadn't seemed upset this morning, he still felt like a jerk for spending the night in her room just to be seen at the right time and never telling her anything. Part of him wanted to tell Jyn what had happened and how he'd prepared for it but he feared for her reaction and for now, he couldn't speak to Jyn directly about anything else but the shooting so he didn't try.

He took a deep breath when he walked out of the hotel and was very pleased to note Antwerp wasn't as cold as Amsterdam and even if the sun was still missing, there was no rain, no wind, nothing. Just a late autumn day in a city that was truly beautiful. They were a few blocks away from the main station and when he saw the baroque buildings around Queen Astrid Plaza with all the gilding and the dramatic intensity of the construction, he regretted even more arriving at night. He would have sold their first filming better he had knew. Then maybe Draven had other ideas about the montage and wouldn't have it in a linear way.

Today, they walked around the Diamond district to take some pictures and shoot a few scenes before making a small chat with local tourism officials in front of Rubenshuis, the former house of the well-know Flemish artist. Cassian wasn't really familiar with architecture business but as he walked around the large streets of Antwerp's Center, he still appreciated the work on the stone façades with the exuberant towers and the half-columns.

As they took a break in front of the cathedral, he saw Shara coming near Jyn with a very determined look on her face and he nearly sighed when Kes and Luke tried to approach him as well. Of course, they wouldn't let the matter drop now.

“We didn’t see you this morning,” he heard Shara said as she looked over Jyn’s shoulder to peak at the small screen of her camera. Jyn hummed in response and still focused on her screen before raising her eyes to catch his and smirked. Maybe he'd be lucky enough for her to not mind much. She was nearly asleep when he left her and it wasn't like he took advantage of her or anything.

“What are you getting at, Shara?”

Cassian knew he shouldn't look at her, not with Kes and Luke so close, not with Kay probably still filming because the man didn't know when to stop but he couldn't help himself. With her legs firmly camped on the cobblestone and her camera raised in her hand like a weapon, Jyn looked ready for the battle and Shara didn't stand a chance. Despite her best effort to pry, Jyn didn't give her anything and Cassian felt a rush of pride to see her defect so easily her friend questioning. Of course, since Jyn didn't break, Cassian had to face his own questioning and if Luke tried for subtlety by mentioning his plans for the day, Kes was far more onerous. He kept ranting about how Antwerp was the right place to catch a girl, how buying diamond here was the best idea because of the price and how the city was so romantic.

“So, you bought your girl something?” Cassian finally asked to avoid having to tell him anything. When Kes fumbled with a response, Jyn chuckled and came to wrap an arm on his shoulders.

“Oh come on, dude, you should have seen it coming! You're the only one here trying to be steady. So go pick some ring and put it on her, I'm sure she'll be glad and won't think about all the thief and slavery associated with diamond's market.”

“You seem like you like jewelry very much,” Cassian noted wistfully and Jyn shrugged.

“I can see the appeal of it but honestly if you need a sparkling rock to know your partner's feelings, it's a bit sad.”

“So what would you like as a sign of affection?” Kes asked, looking meaningfully at Cassian who resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Again Jyn shrugged and looked around her, her brow furrowed. She was avoiding him but she was quite discreet about it.

“Respect of my opinion would be good. Oh, and not meddling without my consent too. Like, you know, just respect me as a person.” She smiled brightly, fake sweetness and all then she went to Draven, Wedge and Kay to organize the rest of their shooting. Cassian wasn't sure whether he wanted to hug her or beat Kes and himself for potentially ruining their relationship before it'd started. Probably both.

---

tellmewhatyoueatofficial Welcome to Antwerp, the city that makes you feel small!! #tellmewhatyoueat #Antwerp #antverpen #anvers #belgium

@CassAndor Why would you choose THAT picture @walkstheskies WHY?!!

@walkstheskies Only because I couldn't get a nice of @jynserso and you ;)

----

Since lunch wasn't a big deal here, like in most Northern Europe, they chose a little deli near the historic center and Jyn stole some fries from Wedge while filming Cassian. He had a cup a stew in his hands and tried to eat without making a mess, which, honestly was quite a feat. His meat wasn't cut small enough to make for one bite only and the sauce was too liquid but somehow, he managed to still look cute. It was weird to see him like that, as if he was another person in front of her camera. The shy man she spent the previous night with had disappeared to leave only a confident journalist with an easy smile she found strangely empty. When Draven called for a cut, she had to check for herself and used her criminal lack of food to approach him.

“Taste any good?”

He chewed quickly and handed her the cup.

“Actually, yes. But don't ask me what it is, 'cause I have absolutely no idea. Don't know the name either, potjives something, I'd say.”

Jyn grabbed the cup and took a full spoon of stew before looking for his fries.

“Did you know Belgian chips are fried twice?” Kay asked right behind her and Jyn nodded along with Cassian. Neither could speak with their mouth full so Kay went on about the nutritional disaster that Belgian chips were and when finally she could speak without being gross, all Jyn could say was, “And I don't know if you've noticed, but beer is cheaper than water. Belgian are truly disrespectful of the basic of human need. Weird they survived this long.”

Cassian chuckled beside her and something in his eyes made her feel hot. She shouldn't be talking about beer in front of him. Not after last night, not ever.

“But they've got good beers and good fries and as long as we don't...” Cassian stopped mid sentence clearly trying to maintain his composure and failing by a mile. “As long as we don't abuse it, we should be okay. And we're here to sample, Kay, but since you stay behind the camera, you don't have to risk anything.”

Then he turned to Jyn and with a bashful smile, asked, “Would you like to try some dessert later, when we're finished? I heard there's good pastry here, or maybe we could find some chocolates?”

For a short time, Jyn didn't catch it and all she could hear was the frenzied beating of her heart. Then she saw Kes' smug smirk and Luke suggested they took lots of pictures, for documentation purpose, of course. She realized then that Cassian was just playing his game to provoke them so she followed his lead and accepted to meet him later. It was weird but she enjoyed spending time with him and by the way Kay sniffed indignantly about how he would be left alone again to visit the Rubens museum, Jyn felt a wave of pride to be preferred to the best friend.

tellmewhatyoueatofficial  This is THE place to go if you like shining jewel. They've got everything !! #putaringonit #loverplace #diamond #sparklingrocks

@Dameron_Ks Wow, look at this @sharathebae, won't it be perfect for our lovely couple @CassAndor & @jynserso?

@jynserso Are you really trying to propose on Insta? Dude, that's lame. Even for you.

@walkstheskies Don't be worry, @jynserso, we all know  @CassAndor is totally into you. You’ll get one soon!!

---

They found themselves in a nice tearoom called Désiré de Lille, because Jyn couldn't resist when she saw the name earlier and it happened to be a very good choice. The place was cozy and warm, and they served one of the best hot chocolate he ever had with a lot of whipped cream and barely no sugar. Jyn ordered one of their sugared crispy waffle, the same kind she had on the bus, minus the chocolate, and nearly the same she gave him in France and he watched with honest fascination as she licked her finger when some treacle ran onto it.

Cassian was fairly sure they'd passed Kes and Shara at least two times but they'd both pretended they hadn't seen them as they'd tried to be sneaky. Jyn'd had the hardest time to keep from laughing at the very obvious couple in front of some diamond shop but Cassian'd caught her arm and crossed the street to avoid any confrontation. Then, a bit further, near the Grote Markt, Kes and Shara had been reading the outside menu of an Argentinian place just as they'd walked down the street and Cassian'd caught sight of Wedge and Luke smoking in front of a bar. But since no one had acknowledged them, they'd gone their merry way and had fun losing their stalkers.

Jyn was surprisingly good at disappearing in a crowd, even if it was as sparse as it was on a week night in the old center of Antwerp. If Cassian hadn't kept her hand firmly in his, he would have lost her just as easily as she lost their teammates and when he tried to broach the subject, she shrugged.

“I told you I traveled a bit with my guardian when I was a teen. But even then, I was mostly left on my own so I have to pick a trick or two to avoid gross weirdos.”

“And then?”

“Then what?”

“What did you do? You said you traveled as a teen, but after that? Why did you stop?”

He inwardly cursed his lack of subtlety when he saw how tensed Jyn became and without thinking he reached for her hand and squeezed gently her fingers.

“I didn't mean to pry.”

She smiled slowly, the weariness around her eyes softened slightly and she squeezed his fingers back.

“It's okay. It's just... I don't really do anything after, except college and work.” She shrugged again and did that thing where she seemed to shrink in herself, as if trying to disappear. He knew the feeling well and seeing her so clearly uncomfortable with the subject, he didn’t push it. Instead, he grabbed his phone and suggested they order another round of hot cocoa.

“I’ll take a picture for Luke. It’ll look good on Insta.”

“You realize that’ll get them exactly what they want, right?”

Cassian frowned a bit and Jyn added, “Proof we went somewhere together.”

He smirked, quite pleased with her remark.

“Yeah, but they already know that. What they don't is what we're doing and since I’m not one to kiss and tell, they could only wonder and that exactly what I aim for.”

Jyn crossed her arms on the table, leaned toward him and looked at him between her lashes when she whispered, “Oh because now you intend to kiss me? I thought it was just to pretend?”

If it were from anybody else, he probably would have just laugh it off but coming from Jyn, it gave the suggestion a new light and he nearly regretted she was only teasing him. But he too could play this game so he leaned forward and stopped an inch before his nose bump into hers, “Well, I don’t know. I mean, we need to sell it, right?”

She blushed prettily and he was left to wonder if really, it was just a game to get their team of their back by pretending to date. Maybe they really had something here and they were just too busy and too coward to see it and act on it. If he was honest, he'd admit, at least to himself, he liked Jyn. He didn't jump to spend time with her just because a bunch of weirdos set them up. Yes, he found it easier to make them stop by playing along with their game but he couldn't honestly say he totally disliked having to pretend he dated her.

It could quickly became dangerous so he took a step back and smiled more gently. “Don’t worry, though, I know we're here on business and it would be very unprofessional of me to try anything with you. I just don’t like people poking into my business, even if they had the best intentions.”

“I'm still not hearing a no here.”

He knew she was only teasing because her smile was too mischievous to be really flirty and even if her cheek were still a bit red, she was looking at him with her eyebrows raised in a comical fashion, not a seductive one. Nonetheless, he preferred to be honest with her, to avoid any misunderstanding for later. Especially if they kept on doing this charade. Because if he pushed her away now, it'd be easier to avoid anything latter. He truly was a coward.

“Jyn,” he began and suddenly he had her undisturbed attention to the point it could be trouble, “we've met what, two weeks ago?” he paused and when she nodded, he went on, “so it's a little short to really say we know each other, right?”

Again, she nodded and she may have wanted to add something but he didn't let her.

“I'm not saying it couldn't be but I'm not interested in flings, especially on the job.”

Something in her eyes made him drop his gaze because even if it was true, he also knew, deep down, that given the time, he could totally fall for her and her for him and that was exactly why he was doing this. Now wasn't the right time. Not when they were traveling and working every day together with so many people around them. When he heard her deep breath, he found the courage to look up again and was quite relieved to see her smiling.

“Okay, well, I'll need something stronger than chocolate to wash that burn, but let's take your picture before hitting the road. Then we'll find a bar or something so I could forget being rejected in a fake relationship I didn't even ask for.”

She squinted at him before he had the chance to respond and declared in a hushed voice, “Not alcoholic, I swear.” He grinned and waved for a refill of their drink, happy to see her taking it so well and maybe just a bit disappointed she didn't try to convince him they had a chance.

Tellmewhatyoueatofficial The perfect place after a long day in a beautiful city ! #Hotchocolate #waffle #Belgianchocolate #comfortfood #guiltypleasure

@walkstheskies So, this the proof that @jynserso and @CassAndor are on a date... More details later, stay tuned, mates !!

--

It shouldn't have hurt so much yet Jyn still felt the burn of rejection deep in her bone even though she knew he was right. They barely knew each other. So what, she binge-watched his previous shows and saw him eat weird food? And okay, they had a few moments here and there where they talked but she had no idea what his favorite meal was even though they spent their days surrounded by food.

That was stupid. She was stupid. From the very beginning she knew she didn't stand a chance. He was a very well-known and very seductive journalist and she was just a nobody hired because no one else was available. And yes, she was pretty good at her job but that was beside the point. The point was Cassian had no interest in her and it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. Plus she wasn't that interested either. Or so she was trying to convince herself while ordering a second Kwak and a plate of fries. Cassian was still nursing his Chimay bleue and the look he sent her way was doing stuffs to her that were totally inappropriate, especially now he made it perfectly clear even their charade could easily become too much.

“So,” she began as she plopped herself in the boot beside him, “tell me something about yourself.”

He blinked and she wondered if she was already drunk enough to not make sense.

“What do you want to know?”

She shrugged and looked around her to avoid facing him directly. They were in a local pub with nothing out of the ordinary, a mile away from the nice tearoom they'd left but the beer was good and pretty strong on the alcohol side so she had to be careful and not let herself say too much. She munched on her chips to gain some time and many absorb part of the alcohol she had.

“I dunno, tell me something I should know if we were really on a date and you tried to seduce me. That must be something people do, right?”

He rolled the bottle between his palms, stole some of her fries and Jyn fought the urge to look up. From the corner of her eyes, she saw him chew on his tongue and something coiled in her belly. He really had a nice mouth. A nice mouth that would never be near her because they didn't have this kind of relationship.

“I don't have much experience in the dating area,” he finally said and she nearly dropped her beer.

“Are you kidding me?”

Cassian's eyes were glued to the table and his grip on his bottle didn't seem so playful anymore. When he sighed, Jyn reached for his arm and squeezed gently his biceps.

“It's okay. I don't date either. I'm just surprise because... well,” she made a stupid gesture in his general direction and felt particularly foolish. She took another gulp of her beer, huffed a depreciative laugh and shook her head, “Appearance can truly be deceptive, right?”

His lips quirked up to the right and he caught her eyes for a second before shrugging, “I don't know, I've always felt quite dull outside of work. I mean, you've seen my best friend. He's not exactly the most appealing person yet we've known each other for years and we work well together.”

“But you work well with anyone.” She wanted to say more, to reassure him but the words escaped her.

“As you do. In less than two weeks you've charmed the whole crew, you've been friend with Luke since day two; Shara took maybe three more because she was ill, you've won Mothma with a pastry in France and even Draven is more lenient with you than with anybody else. You're truly a force of nature, Jyn.”

The way he was saying her name was doing things to her. Things she shouldn't be thinking of. Not right now. Not after he explained her he wasn't interested in her. Or was he?

“You're sending mixed signals, here, Cassian.”

Her head was spinning and she blinked owlishly, and of course he caught it because suddenly his arm was wrapped around her waist to steady her against him and he mumbled something in her hair she didn't understand and it was frustrating.

“I think we're both pretty drunk and we should get back.”

“You know, you didn't have to make me drink to get me to snuggle in your arms.”

Okay, she was definitely drunk if she'd said this aloud and the way he chuckled against her, she had. Damn it.

“We've already slept together, Jyn, remember.”

She stumbled a bit when they walked outside but the fresh air of the night helped slowly.

“In a bus. You're not interested, I get it, don't worry.”

Well, the connexion between her brain and her mouth wasn't working properly but she was fairly sure she could walk by herself. She just didn't want to and since he didn't seem to mind having her near him, why bother?

“I like it, having you near,” he said and maybe she'd talked out loud again, “and it's not I'm not interested in you, Jyn.”

Again, he said her name and she shivered because damn.

“I don't know you, I didn't have time. But if you let me...”

“Let you what?” she asked, suddenly stopping in the middle of the road. He was finally looking at her and the coil in her belly tightened even more. God, he was truly beautiful, even drunk. His eyes shined brighter and his lips... he did this thing again with his mouth and she wanted to kiss him.

“I don't want a fling with you. And don't want for either of us to be pressured into anything because some of our teammates got bored and wanted a distraction. I want to know you. Give me time okay?”

His words were whispered nearly on her lips and she felt his nose bump her when she nodded. They walked slowly back to the hotel and by the time they made it to the lobby, Jyn's brain was back to normal. Mostly. Still, in the lift, she asked, “Did you let your suitcase in my room?”

Cassian stilled beside her and she chuckled lightly, “Okay, Don't worry about it, you can take it now. And you could even stay with me to finish selling this all mess if you want.”

She tried to smile and feel confident but it was difficult when he had his perfect mask of indifference on. When the door opened, Jyn was ready to go to her room alone and sleep mortification away but Cassian grabbed her hand and lead her to her room.

---

Their bus for Brussels was supposed to be at eight. Cassian was sure of it because Kay had told him twice before he left him to wander with Jyn. Draven had said so too. Yet, when he arrived in the diner room of the hotel to grab a cup of coffee before leaving, he found no one. At least, none of his crew.

He waited for nearly a quarter of an hour before feeling suspicious and when Jyn arrived, alone, Cassian clenched his fingers on his cup and checked his phone. Maybe he missed something, a text or a call that told him there had been a last minute change.

But no. His phone was deadly silent, not even a notification from any social media. that was highly suspicious.

“Hey!” Jyn greeted with a small smile, “where are the others? We should be getting ready by now, right?”

“I thought so too but I’m trying to think we were stood up.”

She frowned and turned around to look at the room before reaching for her phone too. She tapped a few keys then went for a cup of tea and sat down heavily beside him. Her phone biped and she frowned some more while reading. At least, she had some intel but by the look on her face, it wasn’t promising.

“What?”

Cassian was stressed beyond being polite and somehow, he knew she wouldn’t mind. Actually, she gave him her phone with a sigh, “They already left. Do you want something to eat?”

Cassian blinked once, twice and read Luke’s text over and over, but he didn’t get it.

“Why? What happened?”

Jyn shrugged and grabbed a plate to help herself in the breakfast buffet.

“Remember when Luke told us to take pictures for documentary purpose? I think he convinced Draven to let us wander a bit on our own. There is another fly this afternoon, so if we catch the bus on schedule, we could still make it to Germany by tonight and we have a little less than a day in Brussels. I’m pretty sure I can shoot a few places too.”

She was very flippant about the all ordeal and when Cassian wondered out loud about it, she told him between to mouthful of porridge, “I always wanted to eat a mitraillette - a machine gun. It’s a meatball sandwich you find in Wallonia. And now, I can and it will be documented.” She grinned and he could help but chuckled because of course, she’d think like that.

“So you’re not bothered to be stuck with me?”

“No, why? Are you?”

Cassian shook his head and went to grab a plate too. It would be a weird day but at least, he’d get some time alone with her, and maybe, he’d learn a thing or two. Since she didn’t seem to mind, why would he?

Just so you know, Désiré de Lille is my favorite place in Antwerp even if the waiters are quite rude. Their hot chocolate is the best. And I’m truly sorry I couldn’t get to write out Brussels because it’s probably my seconde favorite place in the world but I couldn’t drag this any longer. Thanks to @crazy-fruit for her patience and comprehension. She’ll tell more about our couple being delayed!!