#my joints all hurt.
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feeling so fucking miserable.
#my head hurts like down to my molars.#my stomach hurts really bad bc im hungry.#my joints all hurt.#my morality ocd is going off the walls bc i got a coworker sick and im p sure hes upset abt it and for good reason.#im sad i wont get to celebrate nye with people and instead get to hole up and ruminate.#had the sweetest dream in the world but in a bad way bc i woke up and felt like a hole was ripped in my chest#i keep having crying spells and know i need to go eat so my tummy stops hurting but i dont have much food in the house that i can stand atm#and the idea of leaving my bed and being a human feels like the worst thing in the world. id rather lay here and rot away into nothing thx#vent#covid posting
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me: I'm not chronically ill I just go through phases where mysteriously I have bad symptoms every day that worsen dramatically whenever I try to go out of the house or do anything remotely strenuous and on days when I feel normal I never know when it's going to start happening again
#currently recovering from a saturday mirning shopping trip. i was out like an hour. thats it. and now im overhot and my stomach hurts and im#shaking. in addition to the nightly burning hives that mean i dont sleep well and wake up with all my joints sore in the morning
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AU where Hermes really IS the one who fights for Odysseus and is not the one who shows up for "Dangerous."
In this version- it turns out that when Athena said goodbye, she meant it. She can't (or won't) help Odysseus after the cyclops incident, leaving him to fend for himself.
But Athena isn't the only divine being whose gifts Odysseus partakes in. During the Circe Saga, Hermes fills the void of Athena, choosing to aid his great-grandson by fostering his unique skills of wit and trickery. (It's like wisdom-- just faster, darling! And don't be afraid to have a bit of fun with it.)
After the Thunder Saga, Hermes loses track of Odysseus, however, and spends time intermittently searching for him. When he finds him with Calypso, he decides he'll steal him away from the island, but is stopped by a barrier created by Zeus that prevents anyone (even a god) from entering, forcing him to confront his father directly. Hermes uses his cleverness to convince the other gods during "God Games"-- but, this time, he'll also have to convince Athena. (She would possibly take Ares' place in the song or Aphrodite, so that Hermes would have to face both gods of war). (Instead of tell your "lover" something, the line would change to tell your "brother" most likely.)
While successful with the others, Hermes, unfortunately, isn't quick enough to avoid getting thunderbolted by his father, though. The saga ends with bloody feathers floating to the ground...
Cut to the Vengeance saga where Athena takes Hermes' place to release Odysseus and sings "Dangerous" with a few obvious changes that cater to her teachings of strategy, etc. Odysseus is grateful, but confused about why Athena has come back to help him after leaving so many years ago. She tells him she didn't come back for him, however....
#epic the musical#hermes#odysseus#athena#this wriggled into my brain and settled like a warm little snack#Yes please AU that makes everything hurt more and yet not at all at the same time#the imagery of bloody wings/feathers is what started me on this path#odysseus & hermes#odysseus & Athena#idk if i want Hermes to ALSO take her place and help Telemachus?? if so#he'd fight way dirtier#or if Athena stays- the we'll be fine lyrics would change and Hermes prob uses Telemachus a bit during god games#AU Hermes fights for Odysseus#hand in hand with my belief there is a fine line between wisdom/strategy and wit/trickery and Athena and Hermes have joint custody of Ody
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you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol
i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)
#pokemon#pkmn#trainer red#rival blue#trainer leaf#i made them classy and smoke from a joint idk maybe i should of done the classic aussie teen experience and make them smoke from a water#bottle bong 🤩 red is a massive foodie so ofc he has the multiple options of snacks ready lol my go-to fried food was a capriccosia pizza 😭#i’m always conflicted on the blue smoking hc (just cigarettes yall lol) i often see fanart of professor blue smoking and i see the vision#50/50??? let me ask the audience 🗣️ i think i’m bias cause i am cursed with thinking men who smoke are extremely attractive lmao#there is 100% lore behind that second piece but i am so burnt out and i don’t think it’ll fit in tags lol#also just have a raging fear of sharing anything kantrio related LOL like raging projectile vomiting level anxiety#blue fears repeating the toxic cycles he grew up in but oops he’s doing exactly that in the second piece 🧐#wowzers … as kieran would say lol … i love writing and thinking about blue and his emotional growth over those 3 years red was missing#but hey sometimes something hurts so badly it takes you back to that sad and scared child version of yourself right?#strength to me is like: red >>>>>>> leaf >> blue🤷🏻♀️ they technically both canonically beat blue in gamecanon so … my girl is strong sorry#ain’t standing shy timid leaf in this house …#also - despite being acespec myself i didn’t know demi was under the ace umbrella! i think it suits red super well imo :p#pan aswell bc i don’t think he gaf 😭 also shout out to one of my fave pkmn artists kiriato 🫶🏻🤧 i was going through such bad art block and#their work inspired all of these :3 i love their stuff sm espcially their comics 🥹 i drew all of these using their brush sets too!!!#trainer blue#blue pokemon#red pokemon#leaf pokemon#pokemon art#pokemon fanart#pokemon frlg#trainer green#rival green#my art <3#kanto au
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I have Words to Say about disabled characters in Proseka but I'm especially kind of... Eeh about Saki, because of how perfect she is.
I've talked about this before but Saki is just not allowed, by the narrative, to be flawed. We have some very, very brief moments of anger or lashing out from her (NSNF, Doll Festival in particular), but aside from that Saki is just... So cliché and surface-level regarding her disability. That especially reflects in how the writers handled her relationship with Leo/need.
Yes, she is not angry at her friends for, let's call it what it was, abandoning her (besides Ichika). She is not upset with them or feels betrayed by them. She just forgives them for doing that because she's a good friend and that kind of person, to not dwell on the past and just look forward. She's only really upset at her illness, rate, and herself.
Do you know how shitty of a story that is to sell to disabled people? Oh look, this character suffered a lot and then their friends just stopped visiting them at some point! But no big deal though, they're all good! She doesn't hold a grudge against them so it's actually totally understandable and fine and you should look up to that attitude.
Sure, Saki isn't upset with Honami and Shiho. My point is that she fucking should be. I know their reasons and I don't care about them; what they did is shitty and I hate how the story just moved on from that and we never confront that again and probably won't. Why the hell not? It would make for an interesting conflict and story. It would make Saki an absolutely stunning character, and reflect many of our struggles with loving and caring for people that don't understand us and don't stand with us. Why do we have a story we do now, where Shiho and Honami's fuck up only bothers them but not the person they hurt?
Oh wait, I know the answer: because god forbid disabled characters be anything than inspiration porn.
#jay rambles.txt#jay pjsk critical.txt#Souma actually suffers from the same issue#but less than Saki to an extent. he feels so much more realistic to me#and I want to say this: Shiho and Saki are my favourite Leo/need characters. I'm not being a hater for the sake of it#but they're still not real people. they are vessels to sell a story and tell a narrative and I'm fully within my rights#to criticise said narrative and story and how it portrays (or doesn't) some things#I appreciate all ooc Saki writers because honestly sometimes it makes more sense for her be ooc in the right direction#Saki is just not good disability representation. she is - at best - there for diversity points#in other words: I'm bitter because my joints hurt today and someone touched my sore spot with pjsk lol
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so like
#i#spacie scribbles#oh my goddd#so like . what if i helfd him in my arms#what itf i stroked his face while he purred like what if man#i think it would fix me#i want to hear his endo click as he moves around i wanna hear the various joints in his body creak as he moves#is that so much. im not asking for a lot here#oh my goddd im like gonna cry for actually#i love him so much someone PLEASE help me#i wanna hear him groan sometimes as he moves around b/c hes an old fart and his body hurts all the time#arrrrrguoooooooooooooooo
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the boys <3 :'))
#i need to light up a joint so bad#genuinely fuck me dead i need to lay in the rain for the next three business days#my head literally hurts from how fast my heart's been going all evening i'll be so real#this is everything to me. may 4 2024 will go down in the history books for me xxx#gotta be normal in the post unhinged in the tags#masters of the air
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I was gonna draw a Leo comic about my arm hurting but it hurts more to draw so ig I will just not do anything ;-;
#tomorrow is my day off#aka finally have time to work on stufr#but my arm hurts so bad#i did take pain meds#they are simply not working haha#yayyy#/sarcasm#hopefully i am able to get some stuff done tomorrow but if it still hurts#prob not#google says its either a joint thing or i slept on it wrong#both are equally likely but it didnt start really hurting til dinnertime#so idk#i still havent gone to the doctor#i know i said i would but its hard#and i have a hard time remembering all my symptoms :(#anyway#i might finish the comic later udk
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Maybe your computer would stop overheating if you cleaned out your spam folder once in a while.
#my art#deltarune#spamton#spamton neo#i am nothing if not predictable#i think being neo hurts i think it would feel like having an awful fever and also all your joints are locking up
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I’m gonna be in PAIN tomorrow
This episode better be worth it
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//successfully made another rotation 🎉
#;;ooc#been circling the sun for a while now#gonna pounce when it least expects it#i am 30 or 40 years old and all my fuckin joints hurt
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Don't lose your HEAD, fordsy! *canned laughter*
#gravity falls#stanford pines#Ford pines#wood carving#puppetry#oh my godddddd he's (temporarily) done#next steps are to carve his ACTUAL head#and then mess with his joint hinges a bit bc his range of motion is pretty limited on my first pass#then just refining and detailing until I'm happy with how everything looks#then: paint. well sanding and staining and THEN painting.#then I sew a tiny trench coat#and also build a hidden compartment in his boot to hide a mini scroll signed by Alex Hirsch#providing all goes well during NYCC#but AHHHH HES ASSEMBLED!!!#oh I also need to either buy or make tiny doll glasses#but that's a problem for me and ebay#I love the clacky sound he makes when I wave him around#my hands hurt so much but AGH im having a good time anyway#fluffle art
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repeatedly saying "he should be at the club" to my friends about caduceus solely because he is like the firbolg equivalent of 24 , knowing full well he hates that shit so much
#cad in canon: leaves the tavern because he got overwhelmed and also he hates alcohol and only pretends to drink it to not be rude#me: omg... hes 24. he should be at the club.#kiddo say#i feeel wobbly fr#😵💫#head hurt#my bodyparts all taking turns hurtng it seems like#my hip joints yesetseraday and now this#yknow what ill leave that spelled like that . sure thing brain#actually msotly my hands
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(horrible) hole (deadly trap) I put my foot (rolled my ankle) (didn't see it) into (splashed myself against the floor) (faceplanted in front of a room of teenagers)
#I would not have survived in vietnam#they would have gotten my ass so hard#anyway now every joint I have hurts#but it's the kind of thing where you have to pretend to be totally okay because the class teacher was right there freaking out#and I'm not hurt at all#but letting on to the fact that I'm even a little sore would have escalated things to a state of hysteria that wasn't warranted#and would have made a big huge fuss#I made a joke about how now that I've faceplanted in front of them they should all feel comfortable in front of me#and that seemed to go over well#but I'm going to hurt like a son of a bitch tomorrow for real#need a new work tag#herr professor sachermorte#there we go#subject to change obviously
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( an update: my family all went to this cool winter fundraiser thing this church had set up, specifically bc it had a smash room so we could all get out some of the anger and frustration we have built up in addition to the grief. my aunt and cousin said it didn't help much, but they did at least enjoy smashing things lol. i personally found it very therapeutic tho it was cold af and my wrist hurts now 😭 funeral is on monday, we go home tuesday, and then i'm back to work with a double on christmas. gonna try to be around at some when i can tho. love ya'll <3 )
#[chaos mode]&ooc#actually scratch the wrist hurting#its not just my wrist#its my whole damn body#tho all joints seem to be a major source right now#damn this cold weather tbh#i miss my florida temps lmao
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newsflash, dumbass
leaves is plants
also we want mina
new bracelets in the shop in very limited quantities 💜
#bracelet shop updates#i really like the mina ones especially ough#the hangman ones were requested so they are there. made a few cause im pretty sure they'll be gone fast all things considered#but anyways. updates yay!#im trying to make more this week but the cold is making my joints hurt and thus my hands are really difficult to use ough#night is an absolute mess on main
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