#my immersion! QQ

[xsumire]

Preservation path too good. It carried again for World 5 :'D

[jorisjurgen]

I have a bit of a subtle "has a bilibili account with a password and an email tied to it" swag that is kinda hard to replicate.

[shoujoegg]

reading the six of crows duology is such an exercise of tolerance for cornball writing...

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 [𝐀𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢]

Part 1

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Pairings: yandere!Argenti x fem!reader

Warnings: yandere, abduction, mention of suicide.

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

I didn't think that I would ever write a sequel and thought that the last work with Argenti was complete, but here I am (¬‿¬ )

art: @oririnxx(Twitter)

Argenti's heart is bursting with guilt and shame. Even in the short time that mutual understanding and love reigned between you, he managed to establish himself as a person who can really be trusted. His feelings and thoughts were always so pure, almost transparent, and you were never in doubt for a moment. Even when he decided on such a desperate act.

You know his house is your house, right? Probably so, since you without hesitation, although sighing heavily, but agreed to go to him, without even asking what exactly he wanted from you. You can always find warmth, care and understanding here, if necessary.

But this time you will find here only the remains of Argenti's conscience. He feels the rot getting deeper into his unscrupulous heart with each new second of waiting. How could everything have gone so far? How could his unconditional adoration and desire to make you happy be perverted to such an extent that he really decided to make you love him?

No, no. You have already loved him before, which means he does not force you, Argenti only… He is trying to awaken in you the old feelings, the seeds of which, he is sure, are still able to bloom again with velvet roses, the fragrance of which will immerse you in the same blissful haze as his.

Oh, you should know how he is tormented. Even when you are already standing on the threshold of his house, he just wants to take you in his arms and never let go, but he plays his role of a heartbroken person who now needs your support. But does he play? You really broke Argenti's heart, but he reassembled every tiny fragment so that the vessel would be filled again with awe and tenderness addressed only to you.

You, of course, can't leave him in this state, even if you caused it yourself. It's so mean to play on your guilt, but what choice does he have? You no longer look at him the way you did in the days when you both didn't mind being in this isolated bubble of love from the rest of the world, focused only on each other. You no longer touch his hand with tenderness, now your fingers are anxiously clenched around Argenti's palm to comfort. You no longer run your tiny fingers through his soft hair, letting the man's head rest on your lap, no longer smile at him with a sincere, really saturated with absolute happiness smile.

Why is that?

If you were happy, why is that no longer the case?

Argenti can't even admit the idea that there is even the slightest bit of your fault in what happened. Of course, it's his fault, so he's ready to sacrifice his own conscience, ready to disregard principles, and all this for you.

The knight seems to be looking at his own reflection in a mirror, in which he sees all the vices that have always been hidden so imperceptibly in the depths of his soul. He only has to touch such a disgusting Argenti reflection of the desires of his own heart, and there will be no turning back.

"For you… just for you…"

For your sake, he is ready to let the darkness completely take over his mind and body.

You are so naively kind, agreeing to stay at his house for the night. You probably haven't had time to enter into a relationship with someone else yet, which Argenti so vehemently prevented, and, he believes, it really paid off.

Yes, that's it, look at him, stay with him, share this bitterness with him, so that together you can drown it out with the sweet taste of reunion, which you also want.

Surely you do, because otherwise you wouldn't have come to him, wouldn't have followed the call of your heart when he needed you so much. You're still worried about Argenti, you still don't want to see him so broken, you're still gentle with him even when you let your relationship turn to dust. Oh, no matter how hard it was for him to admit it, you crushed them yourself. Argenti still doesn't understand what made you commit this unforgivable crime.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

The knight will ban any doors for you, whether it's the doors to the outside world from your new bubble or the doors to a new life in which he has no place. He is ready to accept your tears, ready to accept the words that wound him like a thousand blades that cut his heart. Now he is defamed, spoiled and deserved punishment for what he did. But it was the only way he could put everything back in its place.

What are you going to do, cornered? Oh, of course you're angry.

You curse him, beg him, cry, even lie about what you love. Argenti understands why you're acting like this and won't blame you. You are connected, of course, connected. The darkness that has taken root in the purity of his feelings has affected you, but together you will be able to share this burden. It may take days, weeks, or even years for you to accept what has become of you, but Argenti believes that in the end you will understand that this test is presented from above to both of you in order to strengthen your love.

✧ ✧ ✧

It hurts him to look at how nothing has changed after weeks.

It was stupid to think that you would be able to understand him so soon, but Argenti does not lose hope.

Although, something has changed… He no longer hears your screams, you are no longer banging on the door, desperately trying to get out, no longer crying. Now you look like an empty shell, devoid of any feelings. It scares Argenti so much, but he understands that this is how it should be. You have to get rid of what prevents you from loving him again. Anger, disgust, contempt, hatred — that's what the Knight fights day by day, steadfastly withstanding your attacks, and finally he got rid of most of the obstacles.

— Y/N, forgive me…

"You're not really sorry"

— I'm doing this for you…

"No, you're doing it for yourself"

— I'd do anything for you.

"Then just kill me"

— I love you…

"And I hate you"

Now you're silent when Argenti tries to talk to you. His perfect face, which makes you sick, is always distorted in remorse, and it seems that he really believes that he is sorry. But you know very well that this is not the case.

Most of all, you hate the moments when Argenti insists on helping you take a bath. Bile rises in your throat every time his hands touch your body, but you endure, swallowing the nauseating lump again and again, realizing that you have no choice. You always take one look at him while he gently soaps your skin, noticing how his lips are stretched in a smile, and turn away again, not wanting to see how your disgust for some reason brings him pleasure.

You trusted Argenti.

You always believed that his feelings were really sincere, so he would be able to understand and let you go, but now you were able to look behind the exquisite screen of love, hiding the slippery, stinking and rotting obsession that the man you once loved succumbed to.

Now you feel sorry for Argenti.

Really sorry.

If it weren't for the hatred that dulls all other feelings, you would want to grab his hand and lead him away from the wrong path that he chose, mistakenly believing that it would lead him to happiness. But, to your great regret, he dragged you after him. No matter how much he tries to cleanse your body, your soul rots along with his, soaked in the disgusting fumes of his mutilated care and tenderness, with which he tries to regain something that will never regain its former form.

✧ ✧ ✧

— Y/N, you haven't eaten all day… I brought your portion of dinner.

Argenti is standing in the doorway of your luxurious room, which he has filled with everything he knows you love, believing that it will make you stop hating this place. You don't want to meet his eyes, and you press your knees even harder to your chest, huddling in a corner on your soft bed.

The knight feels his heart constrict in his chest. It happens every day, every time you turn away from him. He wants so much to see your eyes looking into his for once, he wants to hear your voice, but he must be patient.

You hear footsteps approaching and already know what will happen next. Argenti will put the plate on the bedside table and leave you alone, as he does every day. No matter how much you want to stop it, sometimes your stomach is so unbearably twisted with hunger that you can't resist the instinct of self-preservation and force yourself to eat a little. But not today.

— Y/N… — this is something new. You feel it touching your shoulder, sending a sickening shiver under your skin. — I know you don't want to be here, but can you… at least have dinner with me tonight? I promise, if we sit down at the same table, like… — he wanted to say "like before", but suddenly stopped. — Your appetite will return if you share a meal with someone.

How annoying he is. Is he really that naive, or is it just a mask to lull your vigilance. You don't know anymore. You have long ceased to recognize in Argenti the one you once loved.

But you know for sure that the sooner you fulfill his request, the sooner he will leave you alone. At least until tomorrow.

That's why you let him wash you, let him dress you in beautiful outfits that he likes. Not you.

You nod reluctantly, still not moving from your seat, and you hear Argenti exhale softly in relief. If you had dared to look at him, his soft lips would surely have been stretched into a satisfied smile when he received an answer from you.

You wait for the nausea from his touch to finally recede along with the feeling of his hand on your shoulder, and you get out of bed in a doomed way, hearing Argenti take the plate from the table and go to the kitchen.

No matter how much you wandered through the corridors of his luxurious house like a living corpse, it always seemed to you that the walls were about to crush you, but, unfortunately, this never happened, so after tasting a new portion of disappointment, you stop at the kitchen door, noticing a candle on the table, whose dim light drives away the darkness rooms, two glasses of wine and two plates, displayed on exquisite snow-white napkins. Argenti stands waiting, pulling out a chair for you. Your gaze stops for a moment on his hands clutching the back, and the body again gets chilling goosebumps when memories of those hands touching your body pop up in your head.

He really did his best to make this dinner look like a fucking date. It's so disgusting that it almost makes you laugh.

You reluctantly accept Argenti's help, sitting down uncertainly and allowing him to pull your chair closer to the table designed for two.

The meat on the plate is still steaming slightly, as are the shiny grilled vegetables. The food looks delicious, but … for some reason, bile rises to your throat again when you take a fork and knife with trembling hands, preparing to pierce and cut off a juicy piece of your dinner.

Argenti watches with curiosity how you do not dare to try your portion without starting to eat before you do. To be honest, the Knight loses his appetite when he sees you so depressed, not trusting him so much that you are even afraid to eat in his presence. Do you really think he means you harm? Can't you see how hard he's trying for you? Even so, he's glad to finally see you taking even tiny steps towards him.

It's all so much like hunting. Argenti has created an atmosphere of security in your bubble, but has set traps here and there, patiently waiting for you to finally take the bait. He knows you can't hate him forever. Sooner or later you'll have to give up, you'll have to get used to a new life with him.

You hesitantly pierce the meat with a fork, watching the soft fibers displace the juices flowing onto the plate before nervously swallowing and starting to cut. Thoughts immediately flash through your head about how convenient it would be to use this knife to slit your stomach or cut your throat… Yes, it would certainly be better than opening your veins, because then Argenti could still have time to save you. You can see your own blood trickling down the shiny silver metal, instead of the cloudy pinkish liquid oozing out of the steak as you slowly separate a tiny piece from it.

These thoughts… really discourage your appetite, but that's all you can think about while you're here. What's the point of satisfying your hunger if you just want to get it over with? But you also have to play your part, you have to be smarter than Argenti, you have to set your traps, so you touch the meat with your tongue, feeling a slight taste of spices, before sinking your teeth into the juicy fibers and chewing, hurriedly sending a piece down the esophagus.

Argenti is delighted.

Although the corner of your lips twitched when you swallowed a piece of your dinner, he is pleased to see that you are finally eating a warm meal prepared for you with love and care. Usually you just wait for the food to cool down, stubbornly denying hunger before it finally gets the better of you. Argenti has always been frustrated by how you exhaust yourself day by day, but it would be too much to force food cooked by him into you, right?

The knight was finally able to relax, and happily started his own meal, doing the same thing with his piece of steak as you. After tasting the meat cooked for you, Argenti smiles gently.

— Is it delicious? — the man asks, but then with a quiet clink puts the dishes on the plate, seeming to think about something for a second. Of course you won't answer. — I hope I was able to please you a little, Y/N.

He was about to continue his meal, gently wrapping his long fingers around the stem of a wine glass, when suddenly his gaze caught on your frozen figure. Your gaze is focused on the next piece of meat. The silence in the kitchen is broken only by the soft sounds of pinkish drops of juice dripping onto your plate before your lips are pursed, but then hurriedly open when you finally lift your head for the first time in several weeks and look straight into Argenti's emerald eyes. Your piercing gaze seems to have pinned the Knight to the chair, and he watches with bated breath as you take air into your lungs. Your chest heaves slightly with a light breath, and the man's heart shudders.

— Yes… very tasty, thank you.

To hear your voice… oh, you're just killing poor Argenti. During your imprisonment in his house, you managed to teach him to enjoy such little things that he did not attach any importance to before. Your views on him have always seemed to the Knight something as ordinary as the sound of your voice caressing his ears every day spent with you. But now he was so happy to hear even the words you barely uttered.

Argenti will even turn a blind eye to the fact that you did it just to distract his attention.

Did you really think that he didn't notice how you stole a knife from the table with a skill that the best of thieves would envy? Well… he won't scold you for it. You don't know what's best for you, only he knows, so Argenti will definitely protect you from any threats.

But later.

For now, just let him enjoy this moment. Even if it's an illusion, even if it's a lie, even if he invented it all himself, Argenti wants to believe that you took a small step towards him, and this…

Damn. Now his patience is trembling, being held suspended by the thinnest thread that is about to break.

You won't hate him even more if his retaliatory step completely erases the distance separating you from each other, will you?

[amberlihc]

2. My Tech Milestones

Hey, everyone! I want to share my fascinating journey of growing up with technology.

In elementary school, a cassette tape recorder was my reliable assistant for learning English. MP3 and MP4, although not deeply understood, also embellished my childhood years. When riding in my mother's Audi car, the songs of veteran singers such as Teresa Teng floated out of the disc, as if they could lead me back and forth to my parents' youth. During the 2008 Olympic Games, I followed the trend and gained a QQ account, thus opening up a whole new world. At that time, there were many popular online platforms such as QQ Music, Kugou Music, Youku, Tudou, and StormPlayer, although some of them no longer exist today. The severe snow disaster in the winter of the same year caused the school to suspend classes, so I immersed myself in the "Xiao Xun Tong" blog (校讯通博客), using a slightly immature pen to record the trivial memories of childhood. At that time, my mother had a variety of phone styles, including button-type Motorola, flip-type Nokia, and Samsung. I often used them to play games such as Snake, Tetris, and Box Push. Until the second year of junior high school, my whole family switched to Samsung and Huawei smartphones with full screen capabilities, and my WeChat account followed suit.

In high school, my deskmate, like a navigator, took me into the mysterious anime field of Bilibili. Little Red Book and Tiktok naturally integrated into my daily life.

Later, I embarked on the path of studying abroad in the United States. During this period, Weibo helped me meet a group of excellent friends from an online music club, and I joined their amateur music club accordingly. A friend studying in Germany is extremely talented and she herself studies virtual singer voice synthesis. I am responsible for creating or filling in lyrics and embarking on a self-learning journey of video editing. During the pandemic, I became obsessed with radio broadcasting again due to the variety show "Welcome Back To Sound" and unexpectedly came into contact with the magical sound media platform of podcasts.

Along the way, technology has been like a magical wand, continuously injecting new surprises and changes into my life. I also gradually grew up in this process, transforming from a naive child into a curious and relentlessly exploring young person on the internet. As for the wonderful magic that future technology will cast on my life journey, everything is full of unknowns and expectations.

[ugisfeelings]

being in nz is weird... all these mundane details of my life from 10+ years ago are coming back to me so i cant imagine how it’s going to feel when i finally visit my hometown lol

[friendlybowlofsoup]

Hi, Mei! I know you're very busy rn so I won't ask anything but I just have to say, I love gotrm so much!! I've always been weak for stories about nature spirits, and yours is so interesting and atmospheric, the world is so easy to imagine and immerse myself into! I feel very much like a blessed being. And then there's Spider 👀 so stupidly reckless but so funny and sweet, and I feel for him so much...🥺❤️ hope you're having a great day, and if you're not, please take care of yourself!❤️❤️❤️

Waaaaa!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!  (♡˙︶˙♡)

I’ve been so stressed out and sad lately because I haven’t had any times for my hobbies, and coming back to see this message was really the boost I needed qq

Thank you so, so much for liking gotrm, for liking Spider, and for this super sweet message <3

I hope you take care of yourself too, and I hope you’ve been having a good autumn season!

[laughing-with-god]

AHHH Let me just say....you are the most wonderful writer I have encountered. The way you present the characters is wonderful, from JKs unstability to the MCs cement morals. I've been waiting for this for so long, it was wonderful to get the notification. You work so hard, thank you so much 💜. I do have a question, do you write with word limit in mind or the particular scenes taht are supposed to happen? Like what is the priority? Again, much love, KL💜

Thank you so much, I really aspire to be a published author some day so I really appreciate this ask and getting confirmation if I made the right creative decisions or if my technique is improving.  But as for my process, I’m not really a planner per say but I do have a rough outline for the scenes that will take place in each chapter.  I usually know for sure the beginning and the end of the chapter, so I just have to bridge what exactly happened between those two scenes.  And it’s different for every fic but personally I think I can show better prose with longer word counts, so for QQ my goal is to make every chapter at least 10k.  Although I am a very long winded writer so I usually surpass the limit without even trying.  My priority is just trying to make it as immersive as possible for readers, I’m still a beginner writer but I want you guys to get lost in the story and then when a chapter ends, you are just suddenly brought back to reality and are desperate for the next update.  I aspire to do that to my followers one day.  

But thanks al ot for asking about my process, I really like talking about it because it makes me realize what I can do better as a writer.  

[kewltie]

day 23

i meant to post this last night but... i fell asleep while working on social media au /o\. i think my managers secretly hates me bc this week they schedule me to do full closing shift everyday that i work ON THANKSGIVING WEEK QQ so i go home beyond tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired. im mostly active at night but it’s hard to keep up that motivation when you’re so exhausted! D:

it hit all of yesterday how much time left before my deadline is up for posting ch 3... QQ technically i have 7 days left to get it all done and while i know I DID A LOT OF WORK and inching closer to finishing but at the same time there’s still so many left to do and im just worry if i can get it done in time and have it all meet my expectations AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

so day 23 i didn’t do much work but at the same time it’s still work. it’s just the small nitty gritty details like timestamping tweets, coming with usernames for fake ppl, thinking what could be a trending topic, and adjusting the proper numbers of stats for like how many rtwts or likes this tweet should technically have. v v v inconsequential details to other ppl but also i think is v v v v important bc ‘immersion’ i guess lol or im just kind anal really. i nitpick details like this bc while im super lazy i can also be super intense about things im v v v passionate about and one of those things is getting this fic to my exact standard so i nitpick things like this tweet should technically or ike how many notes this tumblr should technically get bc it post about this topic and it’s not popular and adjusting the numbers properly to match it. so yea. small works but it’s still work. 

[macresolver]

With Android's opening, these 4 apps will make you cooler to "listen to songs"

Earlier, the Internet was not so developed, and streaming media was less of a mainstay of entertainment, with the vast majority of people only able to transcribe or download music files from CDs to listen to music. At that time, my love of music didn't all come from the song itself, but some cool things - visualizations, skin changes, lyrics, and so on.

After the rapid popularity of streaming media, listening to the song seems to be just "by the way", I did not go to stow "let listening to the song cool" thing. It wasn't until one day that I found out that my phone's built-in music player took advantage of the curved-screen feature to make the side screen light up with the rhythm of the music.

The little feature disappeared after the system was updated, and I had to start looking for other ways to make listening songs on my phone becomes cool.

Muviz Edge: "Running Lights" at the Edge of the Screen

The Muviz Edge app perfectly reproduces the side-screen flash above, and even better, it offers a variety of styles for free, in addition to regular side flash, as well as a more powerful visual impact such as full-screen wrap and edge spectrum.

If you're not happy with the default style, you can also adjust the flash line a little thicker in the custom options, and drag "SPREAD" "LENGTH" to the left and right, respectively: the former is used to set the extension of the subline, the higher the number, the more dispersed the sub-line, and the lower the value, the shorter the number.

After adjustment, each subline does not overlap too much, each color can be clearly distinguished, the visual effect is excellent without confusion. When you authorize the Muviz Edge, Muviz Edge can match album covers and automatically turn them on or off for different apps, so you can avoid popping edge flashes when watching videos.

You can download the Muviz Edge for free in the Google Play Store, unlock all flash styles and all features for $1.49, or purchase custom color matching features for $0.99.

Muviz: Navigation bar can be a little cooler

The Muviz Edge is primarily used to beautify the edges of the screen, making the visuals more stereoscopic on surface phones. For non-curved phones, or if you want to make the results even more stunning, use the navigation key area at the bottom of the screen and use Muviz to display the waveforms and spectrum on the navigation bar. Muviz and Muviz Edge are part of a series that has been introduced in the minority. After several iterations, Muviz is now even cooler.

As with Muviz Edge, app-related permissions are required before use. Muviz itself has evolved into a creative community, Discovery, which includes all user-published waveform schemes that allow users to categorize and filter according to their personal preferences. Each scheme has also been labeled differently, making it easy to choose a similar scheme.

Since you're a creative community, you can certainly create your own waveform effects. Muviz Free offers up to 29 waveform styles, and unlocking Premium offers an additional 10 more featured waveforms. Each style adjusts color, gradient, transparency, and size.

In addition, Muviz has entered the concept of "layers", allowing users to overlay up to 3 layers of waveforms, such as filling with "strip" spectrum, contouring "line" waveforms, and "circular" individual beautification of the Home key, making custom items so all-encompassing and extremely free.

You can go to the Google Play Store to download Muviz for free and pay $2.49 for Muviz Pro to unlock all waveform styles and community solutions.

Live Wallpapers: More Immersive Music Visualization

If the Muviz series of apps can enhance the visual impact of your music, music live wallpapers can give you a more immersive visual experience, such as the three "Rhythm" series of music live wallpapers built into your Pixel 3 phone.

When using a normal phone, the desktop background will have a very soft dynamic effect, but as the play button is pressed, the desktop background will be like its name, with the music from time to time exciting, sometimes gently rhythmic.

Non-Pixel 3 devices can also get this range of wallpapers by installing a portable installation package, and there are many other live wallpapers available in the app. If you're also interested, go to APKMirror to search for Pixel Wallpapers 2018 for an installation package that corresponds to your phone system. In addition to the Pixel series of live wallpapers, the background of the Apple Music lyricinterface can change dynamically based on album cover color and music rhythms, but it's actually great for wallpapers - remember the stunning live wallpapers of Cosmopolitan and Skyline? Developer @Justin Fincher's new work, Diffuse, brings the Apple Music effect to the Android platform as a live wallpaper.

Diffuse requires player notifications and microphone permissions to get album art and audio information to show dynamic effects based on the cover color scheme and music rhythm.

Developers have made statements in the app about the privacy implications of microphone permissions, and Diffuse is not forced to apply for microphone permissions, as long as Diffues is allowed to get playback notification permissions, the wallpaper can still change color with the album cover, but will not change with the rhythm of the music.

According to the developer's prompt, Diffuse is only compatible with software that invokes the system's native style to play notifications, QQ music, NetEase Cloud Music and other players need to manually change to the system native playback notification style, and for App Diffuse, which only supports its own playback notification style, Will Adiffuse will not work properly. Diffuse is now available on the Google Play Store for $1.99 for Premium, and a free version for download and trial.

Audio Widget Pack: Good Music With Widgets

For most music players, whether it's a streaming player or a local music player, desktop widgets have always been a "yes" marginal product, and Spotify even took the feature out of it in an earlier update - a move that didn't happen to attract many users' displeasure and had to be added back in subsequent updates. If the desktop widgets you're using aren't great enough, you might want to take a different approach by using third-party widget gadgets to "skin player controls." Audio Widget Pack is a widget tool specifically built for music players that seamlessly connect music players with Android features. Audio Widget Pack sits with a total of 46 desktop widgets in 9 styles, each with a strong sense of design, including the "new figurine" design style that is very popular today.

In addition to the widget desktop widget, Audio Widget Pack also provides music playback statistics, and every time you open the app master, the notification bar displays today's and this week's play statistics. Interested friends can download the Audio Widget Pack in the Google Play Store, where 2 widget styles are available for free and 7 more are available for $4.99.

The developers of Audio Widget Pack have also developed a music player, Stellio Player. The basics, with online lyrics and cover retrieval, and the payment of Stellio Player Premium to unlock many of the great player themes remind me of the joy of tossing the player's skin on a computer. Interested friends can also go to the Google Play Store to download the experience.

[nadiarizavi]

tagged :0!

omg qq i’m surprised to be tagged in these sort of things but ahh thank you @holy-holts && @dreamlit-art for the tags ;w;///

Rules: Tag 15 people you want to get to know better

omg from what i’ve seen i think most ppl have been tagged so not 2 cop out but if u wanna, u should ! zing

Relationship Status: single!!! i’m far too busy to date but maybe someday i will get a datefriend amiright lmao

Favorite Colors: yellow, green, and blue!!! yellow’s my utmost favorite color and i have a love for browns too ;o; so underrated......

Lipstick or Chapstick: omg i use chapstick more often but i also really like lip stains hahaha

Song Stuck in my head: fred astaire // jukebox the ghost!

Last Song I Listened to: eloise // hollerado!

Last movie I watched: mary and the witch’s flower!!! it’s such a cute film ;o;

Top 3 TV Shows: 

OH MAN UHHH not including vld but ;w;.....

- abstract: the art of design (near and dear to my heart and i’ll watch it over and over) -age of youth/hello my twenties! (i don’t actually watch kdramas but this one hooked me in and never let me g o) -tales by light!! i just started it but ah ;_; it’s so endearingly human.

i have a real soft spot for docuseries becuz cosmos & chef’s table are tied with tales by light and also home reno/hgtv shows HAHA;;

Books I’m Currently Reading:

I’M A SERIAL READER JFDKJFDKJ BUT

-the lost plot // genevieve cogman

-we are all stardust // stefan klein (technically a reread fjdkkd)

-an astronaut’s guide to life on earth // chris hadfield

Last Thing I Googled: honestly i’ve just been looking up tedtalk recommendations because i love tedtalks but anyway is now a good time to share a tedtalk i really really like because here you go

Time: 11:19 pm pst!!

How many blankets do you sleep with: one or none!! i’m always too hot ;_;

Dream Trip: UHH uhh this is hard qq wherever i travel i want to fully immerse myself and learn as much as i can? ;w; so wherever i can learn and grow as a person! (but if i gotta!! claude monet’s house in giverny. that’s my dream dream trip qq)

Anything you really want: i just launched my webcomic !!!!! it’s very special to me because i’ve been working tirelessly to share it for the last 6 years of my youth.... @tindercomic!!

and also today i got new planters for a few of my succulents!!! i have to repot everything properly this weekend but once i do i’ll have some fresh lookin boys

[juushika]

I finally got screenshots of Missy ‘n my co-op farm in Fall, Year 3!

there are things--like shed interiors, beehive/lightening rod farm, and light placement which are still under construction (see final image for farm plans)

but it has still come so far and I am super proud of it

notes:

mods shown include

Darker Wood and Gold Craftables Seasonal Vanilla Buildings

with editing done by me

zoom in by clicking here

this is Fall 9, Year 3; about ~70 hours on each of our save files (with more hours in redone days and even more in planning sessions)

NW sheds are filled with preserves jars (above) and kegs (below); NE sheds are in the process of being filled with kegs. I’ve found that putting a keg/jar outside the building which is synced to the interior processing cycle is stupidly useful and it’s a trick I wish I’d figured out ages ago

sustainable grass production is absolutely an issue with this many filled tiles (we have 16 animals right now)

all “decorative”/non-farm trees are also oak & are/will be tapped

the bottom “rotated C” Junimo layout is used for trellises in spring and summer

chests in L-R order are: seasonal crops (above), seasonal harvesting (below); seasonal seeds (above), misc/all seasons harvesting (below); empty chests; metals and precious stones + crystalariums; fishing (top to bottom: fish, shellfish, shells); foods/products (top to bottom: inedible/ingredients/produce for casks, consumable foods); various home goods (top to bottom: tools & misc., monster drops, crafting materials); garden tools and appliances including worm bin & seed makers

we opt not to use a shed for storage just to make chests easier & quicker to access

north horse is named Kony the Pony & is Missy’s horse, mostly; south horse is named Morse the Horse, and wears a flower behind his ear just like me

I’m the player on the left; Missy is the player on the right (I live in the wood log cabin)

I’m married to Shane; Missy is married to Leah

the dog’s name is Bobo and this is the first time he has ever behaved normally in his entire life

our first farm animal was Mamaboo the chicken, and she will never leave our home or our hearts

you’re looking at 696 687 pumpkins +1 giant pumpkin, x3 harvests per season; Missy took artisan and I took agriculturalist, which means that I have to plant  2088 pumpkin seeds all by myyyyyself this season QQ

my original solo game in year three was nowhere this large or polished; and, to be fair, I didn’t use planners, mostly avoided the wiki, never knew about Junimo huts; I was distinctly not min/maxing and I don’t regret that, it was a gentle & immersive experience

I know that some people reach this scale/polish in solo! & that there are mods to help with that

and there are limitations to the co-op beta, specifically in the passage of time--no pausing severely de-emphasizes the social sim aspect, and also make little things like inventory management and storage more challenging

but as an exercise in division of labor, in ambition and pre-planning, this has been the best multiplayer experience I’ve had in ages. Missy and I have been friends for approx. a billion years & communicate really well, and it’s just been so satisfying to use that, to make checklists and split up tasks. even that time we re-did our first massive planting day three (3) times felt good because we got it right! eventually! our workflow has become so streamlined & we are achieving the finished farm of my dreams, I love it

[partyinthemysterymachine]

i respectfully disagree.

watching a long play of a game instead of playing it does not detract from the experience of the piece. it changes the consumption of course but it does not remove the impact. there are oftentimes hundreds of different play styles on youtube for the same game.

games are expensive and don’t work across all available platforms for the player, or their computer can’t handle an emulator, etc. i own a mac and a lot of games sure don’t like it, and i don’t like playing “on pc” as it is. i have a smart tv and no mod cables to play my ps2 on it, and the ps3 can hook up fine ofc but gaming is something i want to do for fun. and sometimes it’s not fun.

sometimes horror gaming is too much. sometimes i get too stressed or fed up with a section and enjoyment dies and sure, qq moar l2play. but that’s just how it works for me these days. after trying to play many games and getting fed up with mechanics and it detracting my enjoyment or desire to even finish a game i wanted to see through, long plays are what helped me get interested in a game and pursue its fandom or lore or whatever.

the beauty of a long play is that it allows me to stop and pick up when i want to and it makes the trip into the game smoother. i go at my own pace. there are hundreds of videos with play styles and chosen avenues. you can get no commentary or someone in a box in the corner. you can get 12 hour long play deep lore dive streams. the whole experience is incredible.

diving into a horror game can straight up be too much for someone (me). i did sh2 and barely finished 3, and shit even if i could get past the cafe (because i canNOT figure out how to shoot the fucking gun) in sh1, i think i’d never make it much further. i can’t. handle it. i love horror. i have seen many horror movies and they are not the same, i cannot pin a movie that has an effect like a long play.

i will also note rq (as an edit) that yes: absolutely, impacts can and probably have been lessened, such as plot reveals or how much i would have felt dazzled or excited to stumble upon something, because the player already knows where the thing is and is intentionally showing it to me. it's true! longplays CAN and sometimes DO remove the magic. it's very different watching Journey, and being able to go into Journey and chill and marvel at the scenery. i can't stop someone doing a longplay so i can fuck around trying to study an environment, or play hide and seek with enemies, or put on a certain outfit. 100%, longplays CAN and DO remove some of the magic of playing a game and that's just fact, and unfortunate fate.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you win some you lose some. the way i look at is that it's not quite a fair trade, but at least i'm not getting fed up with a game and quitting it altogether, or having it leave a sour taste in my mouth, and i'm getting to see it through as it is. and while some impacts are lessened, it doesn't mean that all of them are. i have marveled and been wowed and taken aback just as i figure i may have playing the game, who knows; but seeing someone else do it does not always change how i interpreted or felt.

sure. it can be seen as acting the same as a movie. there’s a vid out there that literally calls itself “The Last of Us Movie” that’s 6 hours long (or 8?? been awhile) and it’s all the cutscenes all the dialogue all the flavor dialogue all the item collection and achieves, all story mode essentially and it’s immersive as fuck. it’s a game i started myself, but couldn’t stand to finish because shooting the guns was hard as hell for me and it just. got too stressful. without a long play i wouldn’t have finished it. and sometimes people just don’t have the ability to devote the game time for whatever reason in their life, and so watching a long play can be a suitable replacement.

long plays let me dip my toes into a game without buying it and thus supporting sometimes shitty creators (Bendy and the Ink Machine, Poppy Playtime, FNAF, etc) or a game on a platform i never intend to buy. i’m not gonna let that stop me from enjoying a game. i’m still getting a hell of an experience. it’s not the same experience obviously. but to me consuming a long play does not have the same feeling as a movie.

movies have one way to go. long plays take different avenues depending on the player (one just does the main story with no side quests, someone else does all that and the achieves, one shows easter eggs during the play, one does a “role playing” play through - it’s almost endless!!). the engagement is so far different. it’s still experiencing a game and it’s still understanding and deep diving into it. it’s not a movie. i don’t want to watch a movie, and i don’t view these on the same level as a movie.

while i think that’s an elitist and disappointing viewpoint to disregard long plays, i understand your reasoning and i understand how different it is to actually play a game. it’s pretty different. i respect your opinion.

i do not think it’s fair to disregard or shame others for watching long plays instead of playing and i wont ever feel shame for it myself. experiences vary and interpretations vary and enjoyment and personal caps vary, but being able to connect to, and with other people because of the game is what i think is the whole point of consuming a game, in the end.

not to be that guy but i do actually gatekeep video games from people who just watch longplays on youtube. you are misunderstanding the point of the medium. what you want is a movie

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐱 𝐢𝐭 [𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail Pairings: yan!Blade x Fem!reader Warnings: NSFW, modern AU, biker!Blade, yandere, dub-con, loss of virginity, oral sex, rough sex, light suffocation.

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq 

I think this image is perfect for Blade. He's perfect as a yandere and the bike makes him even hotter, don't u think so? (≧◡≦) ♡

Every evening, as you trudged wearily from your office to your house, you were accompanied by the loud rumble of a motorcycle, dispelling the silence of deserted streets. You didn't know the man who always seems to be intentionally nearby when you're lazily walking along the sadly familiar alleys, but you saw him a couple of times, admiring his bike when he stopped near your office building during your lunch break.

A tall, perfectly built, gloomy-looking man leaned impressively against the seat of a motorcycle, clutching a smoking cigarette between his long index and middle fingers, framed by the soft leather of a black glove. His long blue-black curls with burgundy tips couldn't help but delight you no less than his fiery eyes fixed on the phone in his other hand. He looks so relaxed and indifferent, as if immersed in his own world and not noticing anything that is happening around him.

You are so mesmerized by how his muscular chest slowly rises in time with his measured breathing, how his long bangs flutter in the wind, how his long eyelashes lightly touch his cheeks when he blinks, and how the scarlet earring makes a vaguely quiet tinkling sound, swaying from the air… And, damn, how is it not hot for him to stand in the sun when, no matter how hard you try, your gaze stubbornly could not find a single bare part of his body? A black leather jacket suits this man so well, emphasizing the slight curve of his waist and broad shoulders, and black jeans hug the seductive muscles of his calves and muscular thighs.

— Wanna go for a ride?

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a velvety low voice, just to match the appearance of this man. Just as sexy and alluring, but dangerous and dark, as well as the aura emanating from him.

— No, no, not at all!.. Mmm, I'm looking, but I'm not touching.

— Hm. It's not the first time I've caught you looking at my bike. You have nothing to worry about, I'm a good driver, — the man throws a cigarette on the asphalt and quickly crushes it with his foot, not taking his eyes off you.

What surprised you was the way he addressed you so familiar, even though you don't even know each other… But maybe that was the impetus for you to desire this man and want to know more about him.

You are always so careful, even a little cowardly, but then why are you now pressing your chest against someone else's back, your arms are wrapped around his waist, and you shamelessly inhale the fragrance coming from a stranger? He smells of tobacco and expensive cologne, so alluring that you can't help but keep your nose buried in his hair longer in the hope that he won't notice.

You hear the roar of the engine, feel the muscles of his back tense up when he lifts his leg off the ground and the motorcycle starts to go. Slowly at first, while he carefully drives around cars standing in traffic. But then it picks up incredible speed when you go out on a deserted straight. You tremble, clinging to the man's body like a lifeline, and close your eyes, frightened by how the bushes and signs on both sides of the road blur before your eyes. A strong wind meets the bare skin of your arms and legs. It wasn't the best idea to agree to this adventure when you were wearing your work blouse and skirt, but the offer was too tempting to refuse. No matter how much fear tormented you, adrenaline was raging in your blood. You have given up any dangers, any adventures for so long, preferring a measured quiet life to the extreme, that this trip has become for you like a breath of fresh air, the need for which you did not even know.

The next time you were already less afraid, willingly jumping on his bike the next day, and the next after that, and throughout the week. Trips with him have become long-awaited for you after hard working days, and on weekends, for the first time in your life, you couldn't wait for Monday to meet this man again. You didn't know how he ended up near your office, what he was doing there, whether he worked with you in the same company and what the hell his name was. But it wasn't so important to you, because he just made you a little happier.

On your first day off, you looked disappointed in the refrigerator, catching yourself thinking that it looks like you should still go out to the store. The last meal was over at lunch, but you feel your stomach cramping with hunger, realizing that it does not tolerate until tomorrow. You lazily grab your bag, jump into your sneakers and look sadly at the darkness outside the window. You don't like going out in the evenings, and you've almost come to an agreement with yourself that you should just order food for dinner, but this would only postpone the solution to the problem for tomorrow.

Your legs barely carry you to the nearest grocery store, and you freeze when the familiar sound of a humming motor cuts into your ears. Stunned eyes meet with fiery irises glowing in the dark, a man leaning against his bike near the entrance to the store, still smoking a cigarette in his hand. You blink a few times, not believing your eyes. Did you fall asleep on your couch and it's all just a dream? Otherwise, how else to explain the fact that the same man somehow inexplicably ended up here, now, just when you decided to finally get out of your hole? You make forays anywhere other than work so rarely, usually going to the store on the way back from the office, but then why did all the stars come together right now, and you met someone you didn't even suspect that you would be so glad to see?

You pull yourself together, worried that your stunned frozen figure will only scare off an already strange man. Have you ever worried about what he thinks of you at all? Such a frivolous, without a second thought, who agreed to go somewhere with an unknown man at the very moment when you just started talking for the first time. He must think you're a desperate single woman, but what's wrong with him?

✧ ✧ ✧ You walk unsteadily towards him, meekly waving your palm. As always, a stranger puts out a cigarette, turning all his attention to you.

— Are you stalking me? — you giggle nervously, immediately realizing how bad your joke was, but at the same time fearing that he will answer in the affirmative.

— Maybe, — his voice sounds, as always, cold and dispassionate, making you doubt whether he answered with a joke for a joke or whether you should start to be afraid of him.

Seeing your confusion, the man barely grins before placing his elbow on the seat of the motorcycle.

— Aren't you going in?

You shudder, thinking about his question for a second.

— Oh, you mean the store! Hehe, right, yeah… I'm going to, — you awkwardly press your palm to your neck, dulling your gaze. — Then I think I'll should go.

The man just mumbles softly, following you with his eyes as you walk away behind the doors of a small grocery store. While you're walking around between the counters, you can't put your thoughts together, you can't even concentrate on what you came here for. Will he still be outside when you come out? No, it's silly to hope for that. You don't think he's really here because of you. It's all just innocent jokes, and he has no reason to pursue a boring person like you. What can you really give this man, besides your dull presence? What could he have clung to to show interest in you? Although, if you think about it, for some reason he always seems to be waiting for you in the office parking lot. Maybe he's a maniac and tried to find out where you live in this way? If so, it's good that you always asked him to drop you off on neutral territory and waited for the moment when he left to walk to his house. But what if he really likes you? From these thoughts, your cheeks are covered with pink powder of embarrassment, forcing people passing by to look back puzzled at the smiling woman at the counter with pads, embarrassingly covering her face with her palms.

It took about twenty minutes while you gathered your thoughts and threw everything you needed into the basket to survive this weekend. At the checkout, you were met by a bored and tired look of a woman over forty, who casually dumped your groceries into a bag before you hurriedly followed to the exit. Your heart was pounding wildly in your chest when you cautiously looked into the place where the stranger's bike used to stand in the hope of seeing him there again. How stupid of you to hope for such things. You haven't even been a student for a long time to tremble from just reproducing his image in your fantasies. This man really awakened some inexplicable interest in you, which was fueled by nothing but short conversations and silent trips. You wanted so much to know something about him, but you never had the courage to ask him at least one personal question.

You almost jump for joy, but you stifle the glee that tears your chest when you see that he is still here. Maybe he was really waiting for you? You don't see any other reason why a man can stand outside a grocery store for about half an hour at such a late hour.

— You're still here! Have you been waiting for me? — you're letting out a nervous laugh again. It's a pity, you should definitely work on your self-control.

— I thought you could use some help, — the man looked down at the grocery bag in your hand. Ah, well, what a gentleman he is.

— Oh, I won't refuse!

The stranger straightened up and walked towards you, taking the package from your hand. For a second, you could feel the touch of his leather glove on your palm. I wonder how the touch of his bare hand would feel?

— So you live nearby, I suppose?

— Mm… yeah, it will only take ten minutes from here.

— Do you want to go for a ride or…? — I don't rlly think the eggs in the bag will survive this trip, — you chuckle softly, rubbing your neck with your palm again. Of course you're nervous. You don't even know his name, and he'll already know where you live. Exactly…

✧ ✧ ✧

You walked slowly along the sidewalks at night in complete silence while you tried to summon all the courage you had in you to ask a question that you had long wanted to hear the answer to.

— L-listen… — you hesitate, fiddling with the store receipt in your hands. — I've been wanting to know your name for a long time...

Did you finally dare to ask? Although, this is quite a reasonable question considering that it's not the first time you've met and it would be strange if you still didn't know his name. Even at the moment, it's strange, and you don't see any good reasons for him to hide this information from you. At least you calm yourself with these thoughts.

— I'm surprised you decided to ask about it just now.

You stop, eyes wide in surprise. After a couple of steps forward, the man notices that you are not there and turns around at your frozen figure.

— What is it?

— What does that mean? You could have introduced yourself if it wasn't a problem! — you cross your arms over your chest in displeasure.

— Mm… yeah, you're right, — for a second the man thoughtfully tilts his head sideways, looking at your irritated face, before coming closer. His tall figure casts a shadow on you from the night lamp standing on the left side of the sidewalk. — I'm Blade.

— Pff! You see, it wasn't difficult at all, — you try to hide the blush on your cheeks, turning away in mock irritation, but then you raise your head again, meeting his fiery eyes. — Y/N… You didn't ask for my name either.

— I suppose you no longer have any reason to fear that I'll find out where you live?

You shudder when you hear him literally voicing the thoughts that were floating in your head just a few minutes ago.

— Why are you…! Oh, okay. Just let's go already.

You walk around the standing figure of a man you now seem to know, in order to continue walking slowly towards your house.

Blade, then?..

✧ ✧ ✧

It seemed that the silence accompanying you in the last minutes of the journey to the door of your house weighed on you even more than before. You were so eager to learn something about Blade that when you were finally given a piece of information, you simply didn't know what to do with it. Does that mean you can ask anything else? Or maybe you should invite him to come over and have dinner together in gratitude for his help? Oh, you're not sure that your house is in the best condition for receiving guests right now… But when else will you have such an opportunity to be alone with him for a longer time and in an environment in which the roar of his motorcycle engine will not interfere with your conversation?

You turn around on small heels when you approach your door. Blade stands behind you and silently holds out the package. You shift from one foot to the other, not daring to take it out of the man's hand, it seems that you are going to say something, but you clearly have problems with it again.

— What's wrong now? Or did you just want to take a walk, and I can keep this as payment?

You snort, changing your mood again, like a switch.

— Very funny!! I just… I was wondering, what are you going to do after I leave? If you're free, then maybe you won't mind… No, I'm not insisting, but…

— Are you inviting me in?

— Yes, I just… What?! — you're starting to look like a scared kitten again, looking up at Blade in surprise. — God, it's starting to scare me how you literally read my mind.

— It wasn't hard to guess, — Blade shrugs.

— Hmm, well, then, I take it you don't mind?

— I think there is a window in my schedule at twelve o'clock at night. You roll your eyes, but then you laugh, turning away from Blade to open the door.

✧ ✧ ✧

Awkward.

This is the only word that was spinning on your tongue when you were standing in the kitchen and hurriedly trying to cook dinner for a man who was relaxing on your sofa in the living room. You gave him brief glances that you hope he didn't notice. Although, given the fact that he already seems to be reading you like an unfolded book, he may guess that you are spying on him like a schoolgirl in love.

After an hour of your anxious attempts not to burn the food, you finally finish and solemnly bring two plates of food into the living room. You've never been able to boast of any special skills in cooking, so you decided not to take any chances and cook what you do best. You would like to impress him, and although this is impossible, you should at least do the minimum and not embarrass yourself in front of this man.

— Ta-dam! I don't pretend to be a chef, but it should be edible and cover my debt to you for your help, — you put a plate in front of Blade with an improvised omelet decorated with neat slices of tomatoes and a couple of basil leaves for aesthetics.

— Omelet? Is it morning now?

— Hey, I'm making a really delicious omelet! It doesn't matter what time it is, delicious food is delicious food, so eat and don't be picky.

You put your fists on your sides and watch carefully as Blade incredulously picks up a fork and breaks off a piece of an air omelet. Only after the piece has sunk into his mouth and Blade's face has relaxed, seeming to realize that his stomach is not in danger, you sit down next to him, starting to eat your portion.

— Is it delicious.

— Hm. It's edible.

— God, you could have chosen a nicer word, — you sigh, stabbing another piece on the fork before smiling. — I'm glad you like it.

— So you invite everyone to your place and treat them with an omelet who will lend you a helping hand?

— Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Of course not.

— Hmm, then what did I do to deserve such an honor? — Blade pushes his empty plate away and leans back on the sofa, watching you chew slowly, seemingly considering his answer.

— Mm… I don't know. Maybe I just feel like I can trust you.

— Is that so?

— Oh, what do you want me to say? I just did it because I wanted to.

— I think there are other reasons for that.

The fork slips out of your hand, clattering to the floor when you catch Blade's face in your peripheral vision, too close to yours. So much so that you can feel his breath and the familiar pleasant aroma coming from him, mixed with tobacco notes.

— W—what are you doing?

— You're blushing, Y/N, — you feel the touch of a cold leather glove on your cheek. In the dimness of the room, lit only by a couple of nightlights, Blade's face seems simply unearthly. So handsome, such perfect features, such mesmerizing eyes that you can't tear yourself away from. You flinch when Blade snatches the plate out of your hand, putting it on the coffee table where you are sitting. — Did you know that your liking for me is too obvious?

— I—I don't know what you're talking about!

— Really? Then why are you letting me touch you now?

Damn.

Indeed, your body treacherously succumbs to his touch, and all your thoughts are clogged only with the question of what his lips taste like? On the other hand, there's nothing abnormal about it. You're an adult woman and it's quite normal to show feelings towards someone, especially since it doesn't look like Blade doesn't reciprocate them. Or does he need you just to have fun? No… He doesn't look like that kind of person.

— And if so? What then? — you swallow nervously, continuing to maintain eye contact with Blade.

— Then I don't see a single reason why I couldn't do it.

And everything around you seems to acquire bright colors that you have never noticed before. Your heart is pounding in chest, and your stomach is cramping with pleasant spasms when Blade's lips are pressed against yours. Even better than you imagined. Soft, slightly moist, when you bite into each other's lips over and over again, the taste is as pleasant as his smell, remotely leaving the taste of cigarettes on your tongue. His big gloved hands are walking around the curves of your body, and you can't resist it. You don't want him to stop.

You moan contentedly in the kiss, and Blade swallows any sounds that come out of your throat, pressing more and more insistently into your lips and thrusting his tongue into your mouth, allowing him to wriggle around yours. Oh, there's practically nothing to compare you to, but this kiss is the best thing that's ever happened to you. Passion and desire oozes from every movement of his lips, his touch burns your skin even through your clothes. You inevitably fall onto the sofa cushion when Blade presses down on you with the weight of his body. You feel his hands leave you for a moment, and the first piece of clothing that ends up on the floor of your house — gloves — flies off from his palms. His long fingers skillfully straighten the buttons of your shirt, and finally, you can feel the warmth of his skin on your chest when he squeezes your elastic flesh with his bare palms, without taking his eyes off your lips for a second.

It's all so much like a dream, and if it is, then you don't want to wake up anymore. Let at least today, at least now you will feel welcome in the arms of a man who has been making your heart flutter for a long time, while your tongues waltz with each other, not wanting to break away from each other. So sweet, so nice. Have kisses always been so pleasant? Then you should have lived your life differently, or were you just taking care of yourself so that your first real, such an amazing kiss happened with him?

You choke, grabbing Blade's leather jacket, automatically pulling it off his broad shoulders and sending it to the floor after his gloves. And at that moment, Blade pulls away from the kiss, hovering over you and taking a breath for just a couple of moments. His fingers move to the hem of his T-shirt, hastily pulling it over his head and throwing it somewhere in the corner of the living room. Even in the semi-darkness, you can admire how beautifully his long hair is tousled, how his eyes are clouded with desire and every bulge on his embossed abs. You can't resist touching his firm chest with your fingertips, tracing lines down his torso to the bottom of his stomach, where your hands stop.

You hesitate, suddenly feeling a strong excitement. You have never seen even what you see now before, and a certain fear that you can now expose his body even more has settled in your chest, causing uncontrollable anxiety.

Blade looms over you, still calmly and intently looking into your eyes when you blush and try to look away, hastily removing your hands from his body.

— I'm sorry, I'm just… — you swallow a lump in your throat, returning to your voice a tiny fraction of the former, already meager, confidence. — I'm a virgin! God… I don't believe I'm saying this.

— Mm, seriously? — Blade's big palms are returning to your body again. His long fingers slide along the curve of your neck, sinking lower and lower, bypassing the bulge of your chest and tense stomach, before reaching the zipper of your jeans. — Then I have to fix it.

You almost squeal from the way his warm fingers touch the bottom of your stomach when he undoes the button in one movement, then just as quickly to deal with the zipper. You squirm in place as you watch Blade pull down your jeans over your legs. It's all so awkward and so embarrassing when you notice how his gaze falls on your underwear, which seems to be already soaked to the skin after your kissing session.

Blade makes a brief eye contact with you, as if for the sake of decency, checking whether you agree to him pulling off your panties, but, to tell the truth, he didn't care about your permission. Thoughts of you have filled his head for too long. What is happening now is not an accident, but the result of strict adherence to the plan that Blade adhered to. The fact that now you are so wet, flushed and ready for everything with him is the fruit of his titanic patience. He wanted to take you even at the first meeting, even at the moment when your arms wrapped around his waist, even when your breasts pressed against his back. And even earlier, when he watched for months how boring your life was. Work, home, and then work again. Womans at your age prefer pleasure and entertainment to such a gray lifestyle, so why aren't you like that? He had many women who loved luxury, money and sex — all that he could offer them, but they bored him even in those moments when they opened their mouths. Not a single honest word ever escaped from their lips, only lies, flattery and lust, which oozed out of their every pore just to get what they wanted. But you're not like that. You're a boring, ordinary person. People like you are called gray mice, nothing stands out from the crowd. But that's why you caught his eye. Blade noticed that, despite the fact that you are quite antisocial, you are always kind to others, you are always honest and fair, incorruptible and frank in everything you say or do. The sincere interest with which you studied his motorcycle or the way you stole glances at him himself could not but touch Blade. A lump of purity and innocence that he should tarnish in order to make his own.

And now you are just as innocently and sincerely moaning, not pretending for a moment, but only drowning in the pleasant sensations that his palms give you, sliding along the inside of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your underwear. You're shy, you turn away, but then you turn your gaze back to him when the thin fabric of your panties slowly slides down your thighs to your ankles to completely leave your body. Blade grabs your leg under the knee, throwing it over his shoulder, and bends down to leave a wet, long kiss on your thigh while his eyes seem to burn holes in yours. In your pure and innocent eyes, on which tears of happiness mixed with embarrassment are about to roll, which you do not hide in any way, presenting yourself to Blade as you really are. You're not fake, you're real.

He closes his eyes, sinking lower, and presses his lips to the soft flesh of your crotch. You shiver and squirm, not saying a word, just watching Blade through half-closed eyelids, trying to restrain your moans.

— I'm curious, — Blade murmurs into your heated skin. — Did you touch yourself when you thought about me?

— Wh-what? — his question puts you in a dead end and makes you blush even more. Blade already knows the answer, but will you be honest or will you lie to him? — I… uh, yeah.

God, where did you come from? Perfection.

Blade spreads your legs even wider without delay, running his tongue over your wet folds until he reaches the clitoris, circling around it with the tip. You cover your lips with the back of your hand, unsuccessfully muffling the moan escaping from your chest. And Blade just enjoys your taste. The sweetness tickling his tongue like nectar, the only one in the whole world that can quench his thirst. He is insatiable, persistently lapping up the moisture of your arousal. Next time, you shouldn't bother cooking dinner, because that's enough for him.

You make such sweet sounds — music to Blade's ears. And how did he live without it before?

You've never experienced anything like this in your life. It seems so dirty and so embarrassing, but his tongue wriggles so pleasantly between your folds, casually touching your throbbing clitoris. It's all so new and unusual, and so… Excitingly. You just can't believe that the man you're in love with is now so greedily giving you pleasure. It all makes you feel so special, so loved, even though you have no idea who he is and how many women he had before you, it was all so unimportant. He's with you tonight, he chose you—and that's all that matters.

Your legs shudder when you feel Blade's finger slowly sinking into your insides without any warning. It feels completely different than when you did it yourself. You've always masturbated with such caution, fearing to feel pain, but Blade does it so persistently and consciously, as if he's done it thousands of times. You would like to be upset about this thought, but right now your head is too full of thoughts about how damn nice it is to feel him inside. You just let go of any extraneous thoughts, plunging into these delightful sensations.

— Oh, wait, Blade! — you cry out when you feel your walls stretch when his first finger joins the second. It's slightly painful, but the prickly feeling suppresses the indescribable pleasure when Blade completely ignores all your alarmed sounds and words, adamantly pursuing the intention to bring you to orgasm.

But it was enough for you how his fingers bent inside, pressing on some particularly sensitive point, forcing your back to arch and your lower abdomen to twist from a delightful feeling, different from how you brought yourself to a climax on your own. Much brighter waves of pleasure spread through your muscles while you writhe in the grip of the Blade, which does not slow down at all, prolonging this sweet feeling.

You open your eyes lazily when you feel Blade pulling away. You are greeted by an obscene picture of how he greedily licks his lips, glistening from the mixture of his saliva with your moisture.

— Now you understand what you've been giving up all your life, huh? — Blade lifts up, hovering over you. His lips are almost touching yours as he continues to speak. — But you've been saving yourself for me like a good girl.

From his words, a pleasant heat spread again in the bottom of your stomach. The tips of his long hair tickle your face as he lifts himself up to straighten the fly of his trousers. You feel ashamed again at the thought that you could have done it yourself. For some unknown reason, you are afraid to look down again, but you take a deep breath before coming face to face with what was bothering you so much a moment ago. All your anxiety literally recedes into the background, giving way to real fear when a massive, thick and long cock appears before your eyes, menacingly directed by Blade's palm towards your crotch. Swollen veins stretch along its base, and the head glistens from the pre-ejaculate oozing from the urethra.

— Stop! Blade! — you're backing away, unsuccessfully trying to bring your legs together. Blade's free palm lands on the inside of your thigh, stopping you.

— Hm? What happened?

— I can't! That is all… It's too big… — you mumble to yourself, looking away in embarrassment. Your hands reach for the edges of your shirt in a vain attempt to hide at least your breasts from Blade's eyes, but you are immediately stopped by the way Blade forcefully spreads your legs again, settling between them and grabbing your wrists, pulling you back. You plop down on the couch again, crying out in fright as Blade fixes your hands above your head with one palm, while the other returns to his cock again.

— You can. It's okay, it's what you wanted, isn't it? — the tip of his cock slides pleasantly between your folds. — Look how wet you are. I don't think you would have started flowing like that if you didn't want me. Then what's the problem?

— I-I… it's going to hurt me…

Blade freezes for a second before moving closer to your lips again, leaving a short, as if pretending to soothe kiss on them.

— It won't, I promise, — he whispers into your lips, and you swallow hard, sobbing softly from the tears that have welled up in your eyes. For a moment, you even forgot that he had just forced you to obey him by buying into a promise carelessly thrown in your face. You nod uncertainly. — Good girl.

It seemed like every muscle in your body tensed up when you felt the head of his heavy cock travel down from your clitoris before menacingly resting against your entrance. Perhaps it seemed to you because of the poor lighting of the room, but you are ready to swear that Blade's face was distorted in a sinister grin before his cock began to insistently make its way into your insides, stretching the tight walls that resist.

It hurts. It really hurts. Did he lie?

—B-Blade! It hurts me, wait! — you squirm in his grip, trying to free your wrists, but his palm squeezes them tighter, not allowing you to move under the weight of his body.

But he doesn't listen, continuing to persistently move further and further until his cock completely fills your insides. You scream and whine, squeezing your eyes shut when salty tears inevitably begin to roll down your cheeks. Only when the Blade reaches the limit in your vagina, he stops, exhaling heavily into your lips.

— See how perfectly you accept me, — his husky velvet voice whispers, settling an unpleasant echo in your head.

You don't understand what's going on. Where did the man with whom you kissed so sweetly just recently on this very sofa go?

Wait a minute…

You will suddenly be pierced by the disgusting realization that he was not a bit gentle with you from the very beginning. Everything he did was just his own desire. He never asked for permission, literally forcibly persuading you to what he needs. Is this really the person you fell in love with?

The sharp pain begins to gradually subside until exactly the moment when Blade's hips are pushed back to crash into your ass with force. And then again. And again. And again. His thrusts are deep and persistent, gradually gaining momentum. You do not lose hope of at least freeing your hands, twitching them in Blade's grip, but unsuccessfully, as before. His fingers wrapped around your wrists with incredible strength, seemingly instantly leaving bruises on your skin. You continue to whimper and sob, rocking on the sofa in time with his ruthless movements. Gradually, the pain mixes with a treacherous feeling of pleasure, which begins to intercept dominance, causing this pleasant heat in the bottom of your stomach. No matter how rude Blade was, he is still a divinely handsome man who chose you for tonight, and this thought began to repeat itself in your mind over and over again, like a mantra calling you to calm and relax. You should give yourself up to pleasant sensations, discarding all prejudices, because tears and attempts to resist now will not give you anything, except that your body will be covered with even bigger bruises from the way his thrusts become more and more lashing as you try to escape more and more desperately.

What a pity that you don't know that he didn't choose you for this night. You belong to him from now until you take your last breath.

Gradually, your sobs are replaced by stifled moans, and your lips open when you meet the gaze of Blade looming over you. His scarlet earring swings in a shock of tousled pitch-black hair, bangs frame his face, and fiery eyes do not tear away from yours, hypnotizing you with lust and obsession burning in them.

— Haha, does it hurt now? — Blade's free hand moves to your jaw, tilting your head back so he can get a better look at your tear-stained, flushed face. — You should see your face now. I resisted so much that now I give up and enjoy it like a whore.

For some reason, his insult only brought you even closer to the edge. When did you manage to become so depraved that dirty things like this began to excite you? You wanted to respond with something, to do at least something to refute his words, but the way his cock began to move even more insistently and quickly, stretching your insides and touching all the most sensitive places, literally knocked down any thought that surfaced in your mind. All you were capable of was making vulgar sweet sounds, inciting Blade to move even more vigorously until your throat began to tear from screaming.

His heavy palm moves from your jaw to your throat, pressing hard on your fragile neck. The movements of Blade's hips became so careless and the rhythm had long been lost while he was blindly chasing his own pleasure, neglecting any dissatisfaction that might surface on your face. But even that didn't happen. Because you're too perfect for him, accepting him for who he is and really enjoying the way he's using your body right now. You are sincere even in this, unable to hide how much you like how he roughly fucks you, forcing you to suffocate from the force of the pressure of his hand on your throat.

He can't hold back the grim grin in which his lips stretch when Blade notices how your eyes roll up and your back desperately arches towards him while a wave of the second orgasm rolls over your body that night. He absolutely doesn't care how sensitive you will be after that, he doesn't care that he can cause you discomfort or hurt, he just continues to ruthlessly bump into you with his hips until his cock begins to throb and swell inside your uncontrollably spasming walls from excessive stimulation.

— You want me to cum inside you, huh? — Blade coos, tilting his head to the side and watching the expression of helplessness and loss painted on your face as you open and close your mouth in a futile attempt to answer his question. In fact, you didn't even fully understand what he was asking, too lost in the fog of pleasure that overwhelmed your body and mind. — Hm. It's your first time, I have to be polite, don't I? — you groan hoarsely, looking at him through heavy eyelids and eyelashes wet with tears. — I know, I know that you want this, but you and I have our whole life ahead of us. I promise that I will fill you more than you can fit, but next time, and today… Let me be a gentleman, okay?

Even Blade himself was amused by his own words. He has never been a gentleman, never thought about how others feel, always getting only what he needs from life, ready to step over even corpses if necessary. But today, with you… Perhaps he really got a little emotional.

After a few careless thrusts and restrained quiet moans, his cock abruptly burst out of your insides. His palm released your throat, allowing you to finally take such a welcome breath of air, moving onto his cock, making several hasty strokes before you felt an unfamiliar hot sticky liquid flood your stomach. You were trying to catch your breath, still not daring to open your eyes, but you could hear Blade breathing heavily, now releasing your wrists and pulling away from your body.

You blink several times, trying to focus your vision, blurred from the drops of tears that have settled on your eyelashes. Only after a few moments does the vile realization of what just happened come to you. But all those words that Blade said… now they belatedly cut into your thoughts, scrolling over and over again. He wasn't serious, was he? You exhale heavily, grabbing your throat with your palms, before rising from your seat and feeling the viscous drops of sperm flow down the bottom of your stomach. You looked down, noticing, it seems, a completely ruined sofa, stained with your secretions, drops of blood, now mixed with semen. It all looks so terribly dirty, but for some reason you feel an amazing lightness and relaxation in your body. Is this how people usually feel after sex? It really doesn't seem like it was what you imagined, but you can't help but admit the fact that it was nice in a way.

You look up, meeting Blade's eyes. His long fingers plunge into the sweat-damp curls of his bangs, combing the unruly strands back. His lips stretch into a grin as he looks you over, noticing how messed up you are.

— Blade… — your voice sounds so hoarse and quiet that you can barely hear yourself.

— Yes?

— You're… You weren't serious about saying all that, were you?

— What exactly?

— Well, about that… That we have our whole life ahead of us, — you move your hands to your shirt, covering your chest with a thin cloth, and bring your legs together, awkwardly fidgeting in your place on the couch.

— Hm, — Blade bends down, cupping your jaw with his palm hard enough to make you flinch in fright, but not enough to hurt you. His lips meet yours again in a short but insistent and possessive kiss. — This is the pure truth.

[disownedbytiime]

I read tg/cf, sv/sss and qq without problems and without stopping at all, I got so immersed in those three that I didn’t stop until I finished. (7 days for tg/cf, 4 days for sv/sss, 6-7 days for qq because I had to search for diff translations right at the middle)

I read md/zs a bit slower than the others but for the most part I read it straight until certain part that was too… cheesy for me to read, it took me like a day or two of trying to read past the second hand embarrassment to be able to continue, but ignoring that scene I still read it fast (8 days w/o extras)

With 2//ha I already been reading for two weeks (one book a week), and I’ve been loving it a lot but I really have to stop a lot. And it’s not the cheesiness like in ^, it’s a lot of things. It’s too intense. At first it was the corporal punishments that were hard for me to read, then the non/dub con, but lately it’s just that I know things will only get worse and I’m not ready. It’s too sad and unfair and I can’t do this.

Tg/cf book 4 had me a bit like this. It was horribly sad and unfair and I was so frustrated, I basically read the whole book w tears in my eyes, but I powered through it just so I could go back to the main story. The good thing was that all of book 4 is in the past, so at least you know it gets better.

But here… haha it’s just too much for my fragile heart.

[laughing-with-god]

i am still screaming over QQ pt 3!! your fic has got me on the edge of my seat (and i just came back from overtime so this was v much the highlight of my day) i just wanted to say i actually really liked the narrator bit! just for perspective on how the outside world was looking in for a bit. i was tickled pink at the y/n x joy bit lol! if jungkook had a phone he'd be seething lmao. and i guess he already is so... ANYWAY! your days and terrain are so creative, i feel immersed in this world (1)

Thank you so much, I actually checked out your reblog and saw all your tags lmao.  It means a lot that you also liked what I did with the Y/n vs. Taeyeon situation.  Not a lot of people did so I’m glad some people actually got what I was going for with that.  And yeah, the Capitol men are pervs and are always eager to drool over any girl x girl alliances in the game.  And omg thanks so much for my arenas! I used to read hunger games fanfiction when the series was really popular and everyone always just sticks to a forest arena, just bc the book did.  Which is so stupid because that was just one game and one arena among many others.