#but the other half wants to enjoy it with a complete blank mind

[spdrvyn]

YOU'RE HERE, THAT'S THE THING — [ wc: 1.7k. college au. fluff-ish? ] nothing cute about uni life. nothing to romanticize about pulling off all-nighters. unless... ?

now that i think about this is the first miguel fic i've written that's not adjacent with spiderverse canon world-building wise 🤔 also kinda silly of me to write a college fic when i'm not even in college so be warned i'll sound probably like a dumbass but hope you guys enjoy anyway!

7:23PM in the evening. Twenty hours until your essay was due.

The blonded hues of the setting sun reflected onto your laptop’s screen, currently open with a completely blank Google Document and nary a draft or outline in sight. As the ice in your half-empty coffee had almost thoroughly melted, you realized that you were completely fucked.

Originally, there was a study group that you were intended on joining somewhere at the start of the week. Hell, you guys shared Notion calendars and made an entire group chat. Only when you courageously sent a message last night asking for a rain check on the plans, you were left on read and down one-hundred dignity points.

That’s how you ended up here, waiting for the adrenaline from the impending deadline to set in. The condensation from your drink wets your palm uncomfortably as you take a sad, bitter sip. Someone could be writing a story about your defeat, writing a ten-page analysis about it, and submitting it at least three days before the deadline like a normal person with a sense of urgency.

When you shut your laptop and concede to the pressure, Miguel walks in to your shared dorm. With thick textbooks and an open backpack slung over one of his shoulders, he pauses at the sight of you. “I thought you’d be out.”

The reminder that your group abandoned you sours your mood even more, you tersely reply: “They ghosted me.”

“Oh,” Miguel tries to sound sympathetic, but it’s obvious that he’s also struggling with a final of some kind with how he ushers all of his belongings to the table you’re currently occupying. He’s told you before that he rarely ever joins study groups, which makes sense. You’ve noticed he’s self-reliant and efficient to an almost terrifying degree when it comes to his academics, awake at ungodly hours of the night to pinch the highest grade that there is. If anything, it’s more likely that he’ll offer to tutor other people.

“What’s on your roster for tonight? I’ve got an essay,” You swiftly put on your document tab again, motivated by how he’s already flipping through his books and copying down notes on his tablet. God, you wished you could just start studying like that.

“Final tomorrow, haven’t started reviewing yet. I basically spent the last two days at the lab for my other final.” He’s writing at a speed that should be considered superhuman, all while he’s answering your pesky questions.

You don’t want to move to another spot, because it would seem rude. Not like his presence is unwelcome, his studiousness just makes you really, really envious. Also the fact that both of you are majoring in completely different subjects.

Majoring in Arts in Literature, while he majors in Genetic Engineering can cause difficulty whenever explaining plans to each other. Miguel puts in the effort to not confuse you with the STEM jargon while you try not to ramble about your current readings and explaining your interpretations of them to someone else instead of writing them down on paper to, you know, submit.

Either way, it hasn’t caused any big miscommunications with being so different and all. You hope he doesn’t mind you beginning to working with him too, as you shyly type a thesis statement into your assignment. Another sip of your coffee, sounds of Miguel scrawling, and you think you may be ready to take this assignment head-on.

~

12:40AM into the night. Fifteen hours until your essay is due.

Shockingly enough, you were able to finish three pages out of five. The grammar so far is probably going to drag you down by fifteen points and you usually send it to your friends to proofread, but it clearly isn’t an option given what time of the day it is right now. It’s still a lot better than the end you saw for yourself when you were left dangling on the edge of failure by your study group.

The caffeine had completely worn off by now, and your coffee had been drained somewhere around an hour ago. When that happens, you usually start to get antsy and it’s even harder to keep the momentum going and when that happens, you take a break and go for a walk or something.

Which is what you’re about to do, as you stand up, but you realize that Miguel is sitting still as a statue in front of one of his books and his eyes scan the words on the page, over and over again. You can’t tell if he’s also losing focus or if he’s knee-deep in focus.

“Miguel,” He sighs when you call his name and the noise makes you wince, fearing that you’ve upset him. “Uhm, I’m going to take a walk. Do you wanna come with?”

It’s an offer that you thought for sure he wasn’t going to take.

What you don’t expect however is for him to slam his reading shut, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of his nose before getting up from his seat. With a huff of, “Sure.”

“Oh- we can go for a coffee run if that’s what you want. I don’t think I can sleep tonight.”

“Ok. Me neither.”

“Great, that’s- that’s great.”

~

Both of you stew in the (semi) comfortable silence as you make the trek from your dorm room and out to the expanse of the campus.

You realize how brisk a walk can become with Miguel considering how abnormally tall he is. Granted, you recognize his subtle effort to slow down for you when he notices how winded you got after only five minutes on the way to the gas station.

It’s a new height that you’ve reached with him, not like you never wanted to grow closer with him or anything. He is your roommate after all, so it only makes sense. Although despite your love for reading that has fender-bendered into a Literature degree in the making, you were never too great at reading people. Miguel is one of the hardest people to read considering his outward stoicism, and both of you being naturally introverted didn’t help at all.

Still, this was the perfect time in your life to make new friends and life-lasting connections. Besides you would also consider yourself pretty pathetic if you wouldn’t be able to make a new one out of your roommate, A.K.A someone who is confined to a room with you for a whole school year. Literally no other choice but to do so.

You wonder if he feels the same way too, but asking each other of your first impressions is a conversation that is really only befitting for people that have been together for years. A status that you have no idea that you’ll ever achieve with him someday.

Though you are quickly broken out of your kind of depressing spiral when Miguel opens the door to the store for you, with a muttered ‘thank you’ you behold the fluorescent lights and hint of smoke. The walk to the coffee machine is instinctive, and you pluck a bag of spicy chips from the shelf on the way. Miguel follows suit, only he picks a bag of pretzels and a pack of gum.

The dispenser chokes out a splatter of coffee into your plastic cup and you flinch at the noise, Miguel spares you a glance but goes back to fidgeting with the pointed edges of his pretzel bag.

“So, what’s your final about?” It’s a stupid question being completely transparent, but fuck it. You’re bored, and the silence only gets more uncomfortable the longer both of you keep quiet.

“Genetic inheritance, the traits passed down from a parent onto a child. That kind of thing,” He muses. “And you?”

“Oh, Les Miserables essay. Five pages total.”

“Long book, and long film.”

Your cup is nearly on the tip of overflowing so you quickly slide it out and put one under for Miguel. “Yeah, I had to do a re-read because it’s been a while. I only finished around two days ago and I started it again at the beginning of the month.”

He gives you an honest chuckle, you take it and you think you’ll remember the sound forever. “One of my, uh, friends sat me down to watch the movie. Fell asleep halfway through, but I do remember it being decent in the parts that I was awake.”

“Well if I can find a totally legal recording of the stage play, maybe that would pique your interest more.”

When you look up at him, he smiles and it might be the happiest you’ve seen him ever since becoming acquainted with each other. It’s not a lot, but you feel over the moon over a small talk about your stupid essay.

…Your stupid essay!

You cut the moment short by haphazardly closing the lids on both of your coffees, you hand it to Miguel who starts to emanate your hurried energy and the walk back to your dorm is very swift.

~

Morning. Some time before your essay is due.

That is what you can assume anyway, the sun is back and its rays peek at you from the gaps in the blinds. Your hair is a frazzled mess as you lift your head off of the pillow which is perched up against the armrest on the sofa, the blanket on top of you shifts, and this was also… definitely not where you fell asleep last night.

You were expecting neck and back pain, along with a mild headache once you woke up. As you came to the sloppy completion of your work, you called it a night, slammed your laptop shut, and decided to just sleep right then and there. Doing your night routine and getting into bed would simply be too much time and work when you probably wouldn’t even be getting that much rest anyway.

There’s a fresh glass of water on the coffee table and a sticky note from Miguel, who you could only assume was the one who put you here.

‘Had to head out early for my exam. Good luck with your essay, there’s food on the counter.’

You slump back into your makeshift bed and pull out your phone from your back pocket, there’s still seven hours until your essay is due and you only need around two for revisions.

Maybe you could sleep in just a little longer, dream about conversations that will never happen, cafe dates that never come to be. But after last night, rather earlier this morning, those odds shift in your favor.

[fiber-optic-alligator]

I would LOVE to see a TFA!Megatron x human reader of some kind. I love him so much, such an intimidating and scary but fun version of him 🤭 I want it to be in the First Contact AU still, but why not sorta spice things up and make it have soulmates in it? Wouldn't it be cool to have a giant alien warlord from space destroying cities to find their soulmate? 😳🫣 lol if this idea sucks de bout it, but I'm excited to see your works that's transformers g/t related!

- ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST CHAMELANON! PLEASE ENJOY!!! God I love TFA Megs so much. He's so hot AUGH!

Be Careful What You Wish For

Pairing: TFA Megatron x Human Reader (Soulmate Au)

Word Count: 2961

Summary: Soulmates exist, and you have one. Proof exists in the form of soulmarks: a red thread-like tattoo imprinted on a person's arm. Only when one meets their soulmate and touches them will the soulmark disappear. Unfortunately, you have yet meet yours. After many lonely days wishing you would be reunited with your Other Half, a chaotic encounter with the leader of the Decepticons has you realizing one thing. And it is that soulmates persevere across time...and space.

Soulmates are real.

  Since you were a young child, this is what you have been told. Soulmates are real, and every person has one. The special red thread that connects two people twines between the left hand’s fingers, up the arm, snaking under the clavicle and ending directly over the heart. Bright like the blood running through your veins, it is your life force, your compass leading you to your Other Half, with your hand outstretched to touch theirs…and only then will the red thread disappear.

  You’ve spent hours staring at that red line, tracing the pattern it makes on your flesh. It’s been a constant presence throughout your life…and it has never gone away. No matter who you’ve met, who you have fallen in love with, who you have fallen out of love with, it is all the same. The thread remains, and you continue to carry a lonely heart within you.

  “Give it time,” your loved ones tell you. “You’ll find them. It won’t happen in a heartbeat. You need to be patient.”

  Yes, you know. Patience, after all, is a virtue. Plenty go about their lives and never even see their thread go away. An existence without your soulmate can be a perfectly happy one. But you want to know who your Other Half is. You want to be one of the lucky few who can be counted as soulfully complete.

  Sitting in a coffee shop with a hot chocolate cupped between your hands, you find yourself once again observing your thread. The morning is cold; you can feel the wind trying to bite you through the shop’s large glass window. People bundled in their coats, scarves, and gloves hurry by, heads down and minds focused on whatever tasks they have at hand. Looking out, you observe them with a blank stare, not really observing them at all.

  “Anything I can get you right now?” The older woman who owns the shop comes up to you, offering a plate of freshly baked cookies. “Chocolate chip? They’re right out of the oven!”

  You offer her a thin smile and shake your head no. She understands; she’s seen you forlornly watching couples pass by. Sighing, she sets down the plate. “You know,” she says. “I didn’t meet my soulmate until I was in my early 40’s.”

  You raise an eyebrow. She sees your surprise and chuckles. “I know, right? A little late to be meeting my Other Half. But hey, it happened. And now look at me! I’m living a good life, running a successful business, and I got to see my thread go away. Those are all things I never thought I’d get to experience. All I had to do was wait a little!”

  You cringe. Yes, waiting. It seems all you’ve been doing is waiting, waiting, waiting, all for a soulmate who might never come. You and your damn waiting.

  She notices your mood go sour and sighs again. “Listen, all I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t lose hope. You’ll meet your soulmate. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but…you need to give the world time to sort things into order. That’s all you really can do when you're dealing with the threads of fate.”

  You mumble a quiet “Thank you” and try to look appreciative, when you feel anything such. She says no more, but leaves you a cookie before heading off to tend to the other customers. You watch her go, then lift up your left hand. Your thread is vibrantly bright, showing no signs of fading any time soon.

  Yeah, you think sadly while you bite into the cookie. No hope lost whatsoever.

  You are walking out of the shop when it happens. The door’s little chimes clink together as you swing it open and bid the owner farewell. And then, a pain unlike any other hits you with the force of a freight train. It tackles you and makes you stagger, knees buckling and bringing you to the ground in a matter of seconds. Your heart starts slamming against your ribcage so hard you think a bone might crack. Pushing your hand against your chest, you pant and watch your vision swim as you attempt to get to your feet, yet fail and fall down once more.

  Multiple people help you up, each one asking if you are alright. You hold out a shaking hand as if to assure them, but no sound comes out of your mouth when you try to speak.

  Someone says, “Call an ambulance!” You want to tell them you are fine; unfortunately, you can’t seem to form any coherent words. All that rises up from your throat is a thin, wispy whimper.

  The chaos continues when out of nowhere, an explosion erupts further down the street. People scream and scramble back. The people holding you let go, and you nearly topple right over again. Shouts of panic and confusion fill the air, confirming that no one has a clue as to what is going on.

  Two dark shapes scream through the sky. You look up just in time to see a fighter jet fly past with a bomber plane following behind. For a moment, you think this is some sort of military aerial show-why such a thing would be happening in the middle of winter, you don’t know-but it’s the only conclusive argument you can decide on what you are seeing.

  But then the two planes start descending. They roar over the crowded street, then begin morphing and shaping themselves into creatures completely different from the disguises they previously sported. You recognize them: they are Cybertronians. Robots from outer space who have become borderline celebrities in Detroit since arriving here months earlier. These two, however, aren’t members of the heroic Autobots who help protect the city. They are Decepticons. The villains, the destroyers. The bad ones.

  The smaller of the two stretches his arms over his head. He laughs maniacally as he watches people run. “Look at them, Lugnut! They’re scurrying away like little ants!”

  The other Deception growls and pays no mind to his partner. “Silence, Blitzwing. Lord Megatron has a mission for us to complete. We must distract the humans while he finds the one he is looking for.”

  Blitzwing’s face swivels and changes into an icy blue expression. He surveys the humans around him with an air of disgust. “I don’t understand why Lord Megatron cares to capture one of these creatures. They are far too weak to be kept as pets.”

  “It is not my place to question him, nor is it yours. We are here to do as we are told and give our lord the time he needs to complete his mission.” Lugnut grabs a car and throws it into the air. It crashes down with a heavy slam, windows shattering, metal crumpling, alarm screeching out the vehicle’s pain. You watch in horror, unable to fathom that you have a front row seat to this show of destruction Detroit is about to face.

  Yeah, no, you think. I’m not sticking around. These Decepticons obviously have no regard for human lives. If you remain here, there is a high chance you will end up dead. You need to run, now.

  “You're not going anywhere, little one.”

  The voice is deep, and it pulses through your mind like a gong. You clutch your head and bite back a shout of pain. A strange feeling builds up in your chest. It makes your heart beat faster, and your thread begins to burn with an uncomfortable warmth you have never felt before.

  A third vehicle appears from the sky: a strange helicopter with two blades and a massive cannon mounted beneath its cockpit. Your hair whips back when it lands. The Cybertronian’s body condenses and rises, metal folding over metal, creating a gigantic figure with narrowed red eyes that immediately land on you the moment they open. Your jaw drops; this is easily the biggest mech you have ever seen. And you recognize him. Megatron, the feared leader of the Decepticon forces, and the worst bot you could run into right now.

    Lugnut drops to his knees and bows. “I serve you, Lord Megatron!”

  Megatron does not acknowledge him. He remains focused on you. You are finding it hard to breathe.

  Blitzwing walks over to the taller mech. “My lord, the Autobots will be arriving soon. What should we do?”

  “Continue destroying what you can.” Megatron’s voice is a deep rumble of thunder. You feel the wind get knocked out of you when you hear it. His voice. His voice. Why are you so focused on his voice?

  Your thread is beginning to burn. You slap your hand over your left arm and squeeze, hissing through your teeth. Megatron notices; he looks intrigued.

  “Have you found what you are looking for, master?” Lugnut asks.

  “Indeed I have,” Megatron replies. “And I don’t intend to let it escape me. Resume your orders. Keep the Autobots back for as long as you can. Once I have what we came here for, I will sound the retreat.”

  Blitzwing and Lugnut do not question him any further. You, on the other hand, are questioning everything. Why is this robot having such an effect on you? Why can you hear his voice in your head? And why, why is your soulmark on fire?!

  He’s here for me. There’s no solid confirmation that has been given to you about this, but you know deep down it is true.

  He’s looking right at me.

  Shit. Fuck.

  Your legs want to move. But your brain forbids it and forces you to remain put, even as other people go running by you, their screams mingling as one high-pitched wail while Blitzwing and Lugnut destroy anything they can get their hands on.

  Megatron remains still. He tilts his head with the air of a curious predator who is searching out the weak spots of his prey. You cannot drop eye contact with him. Something about his piercing gaze has you rooted to the spot in which you stand.

  Only when he begins lumbering towards you do you snap out of it and run with the rest.

  Everything is a blur for you. You nearly get shoved to the ground multiple times by the panicked masses who are fleeing. It feels like Detroit is crashing down. Police drones are flying in to fight back against the Decepticons, but you don’t think for a second they’ll do any damage against them. After all, they hardly ever do.

  “Don’t run from me, little one.”

  There is pain. So much pain. It is too much for you to handle. It causes you to collapse, clutching your head and writhing in agony.

  “You are so much more fascinating than the rest of your pathetic kind.”

  The ground trembles. Each step signals the robot drawing closer and closer.

  “Why can I feel what you feel? Why does my spark tremble with your fear? I don’t understand it. I need to understand it. So stop running, and come here.”

  You need to keep going. Grunting, you struggle to your feet and stumble forward in a haphazard fashion. You don’t even bother looking back to see if the robot is close. You just need to run. You need to hide.

  Your miracle appears in the form of a parking garage. Squirming under the partially closed grated gate, you find that it is abandoned; no one is in here with you, and the cars are all empty, abandoned by their owners. You retreat into a corner dark and covered with shadows. It should provide you with the necessary cover you need in order to hide.

  You remain in there for what feels like hours.  It goes awfully quiet outside. Any remaining civilians are long gone. Somewhere close, you think you hear the sound of mechs duking it out. Your breathing echoes off of the parking garage’s walls, giving you a further sensation of complete unease. Perhaps hiding in here wasn’t the best choice. Maybe you should have continued running with other people to a safer spot. Allowing others to be in your presence would endanger them…but now you are alone, completely defenseless to those who wish you harm. The robot who is currently stalking you can kill you without even thinking about it. By hoping to protect the city, you may have ensured your own doom.

  You hear stomping outside. Too loud to be human, too heavy to be an Autobot. Your heart tugs eagerly on its strings in an attempt to break free. It’s a mutual sensation of utter fear and strange wanting.

  “Where are you?”

  You see the massive head of the mech appear right underneath the gate. A shriek nearly escapes you, and you have to slap your hands over your mouth to quell it. A single roving red eye searches the garage, unblinking.

  “I am not known for my patience, human. If you do not show yourself, I cannot guarantee things will end up well for you.”

  The eye settles on you. It narrows and a low growl emits from the robot’s intake. “There you are.”

  You have no chance to react before Megatron’s hand smashes through the gate. You scream when his fingers curl around you. Tightly pressed against his palm, you struggle and kick your feet while Megatron slowly draws you out into the open.

  “Let me go!” you shriek. “Stop! Please!”

  Megatron growls again and gives you a warning squeeze. “Fighting me will get you nowhere. Cease this at once, or suffer the consequences.”

  Well, that’s threatening. You immediately go limp and snap your mouth shut. Megatron snorts, satisfied. He brings you closer to his face, studying you. You shrink back, flush with panic and terror.

  “What is your name, human?” he rumbles.

  You stutter out a barely coherent reply. “Y-Y-Y/N.”

  “Y/N.” He repeats it to himself. “Y/N…a fitting name. Tell me, have we ever met before?”

  “I…I d-don’t believe so?” you say.

  “Hm.” He regards you, turning his hand left and right so he can examine you from all angles. “How very interesting.”

  “W-What’s interesting?”

  “Your mark.” He pushes his thumb under your left forearm. “It’s gone.”

  You follow his gaze. Indeed, where your thread should have been-the thread that has been with you for your entire life, a presence in which you believed would never leave you-there is only bare skin. There isn’t a speck of red to be seen. The burning that accompanied it before is gone too, and now there is a sort of settlement weighing on your chest. It is an instinctive rush of fulfillment, like this was meant to happen.

  You feel faint. Nothing makes sense anymore when you look back at the robot. “You…You're my soulmate?” you squeak.

  “Soulmate.” Megatron stretches the word out into a slow drawl. “So that’s what your species calls it. Yes, you can say that. My kind has a similar phenomenon that affects us.” He opens his mouth and breathes in deeply. “You smell of fear. I can see in your eyes that you know me. So this city is aware of who I am, hm?”

  You don’t dare answer. You're way too terrified of how close his massive teeth are to you. You don’t want to think about what might happen if you find yourself between them.

  “There is no need to be afraid of me. Our sparks are linked. I would be killing a piece of myself if I were to eliminate you.” He sighs. “As disappointed as I am to discover that my sparkmate is a human, I can learn to work with it. I wish to know more about you, Y/N. I will know why fate tied us.”

  “I need to know more.”

  “What makes you so different?”

  “Foolish little thing, you cannot get away from me.”

  “I will get to the bottom of this.”

  His thoughts are loud and overwhelming. You shake your head and feel tears gather in your eyes. “Please…It’s too much. Your thoughts-”

  “Ah. Is that primitive brain of your overloading? I can hear it. Don’t think your thoughts aren’t in my head as well.” He rises to his full height. “I am sure we will both learn to get used to it. If not, I will have Shockwave create something that will bar my thoughts from entering your mind.”

  “Wait! Wait!” You look down. The ground is far away from you. Everything sways queasily when Megatron begins to walk. “No! Put me down!”

  “If you vomit on me, I will not hesitate to drop you,” the Decepticon says gratingly.

  “Y-You can’t take me with you!” you yell at him. “I can’t be your soulmate! There has to be a mistake!”

  “The spark doesn’t lie. Your mark is gone, and I can feel the completion you bring me. There is no question that you are my Other Half. What I want to know is why.” He shakes his head angrily. “It is a burden to have such a weak creature by my side. But I will learn to understand. Perhaps you can show me the few strengths humans possess. Do you think you can convince me to spare your race, little one?”

  He’s taking you. He’s not letting you go. You feel faint with horror at the realization that you aren’t getting out of this. Whether you believe it or not, this alien robot is your soulmate.

  You’ve gotten exactly what you wanted. But this isn’t how you thought meeting your Other Half would go.

  You hear one last thought from Megatron echo ominously in your mind. It sends shivers down your spine. “You are mine now.”

  After that, you pass out.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Meaningful Mistakes | Azriel x Cassian x Reader

Summary: After what you had thought to only be a simple one night stand with Cassian and Azriel, you discover that you’re pregnant, and while delivering the news, the bond between the three of you snaps.

Word Count: ~3.4k

Warnings: Smut, so much smut, mlm, gay smut, threesome, penetration, oral, hate sex, ovulating? just a monster in general, also (surprise) pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, nausea..all the things that come along with pregnancy

Minors, do not interact

A/N: I feel like so many ppl make the multiple mates thing but then only make it seem like they’re in love w reader which is so weird to me…this request was such a good one and a chance for me to play around with this, hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

Masterlist | Next

Azriel and Cassian had known you for a few centuries, and while the three of you were close friends, you never would’ve thought you found yourself in this situation.

Sure, the two were close, but when you’d woken from a nightmare late at night, walking to Azriel’s room, you found it odd that the shadows weren’t swirling beneath the door like usual.

Even weirder, the door was slightly ajar, half an inch or so, and the sounds of panting and ragged breathing from inside only registered in your brain as you peeked open, sniffling before your mind was registered blank as you saw both of the males inside.

Cassian was sprawled out, wings spread and twitching, legs being forcefully held open by dark shadows, the shadowsinger himself above Cassian, Azriel shoving himself in and out of the General at a punishing pace, dark splotchy marks on his necks. It looked more like a hate fuck than anything, Cassian trembling and babbling beneath him.

Azriel’s gaze immediately snapped to you as you stared, frozen in place, at the sight before you. His sharp gaze took in everything, even while Cassian squeezed him so tightly. The dried tears on your cheeks, the way you sniffled a bit, and your scent, even while slightly tainted by arousal, still reeked of being upset or fearful. His gaze softened as he leaned down to speak to Cassian, pace slowing down until stopping completely as he pulled out.

He murmured something to the male, who groaned as the shadows slowly released him, moving his large body to sit up, eyes widening slightly as he saw you, a tiny blush on his cheeks that you were quickly distracted from as he softly grinned at you, waving you over.

“C’mere, sweet girl.”

You sniffled, still upset from the nightmare, and now feeling even worse for interrupting them in the throes of their pleasure. You walked over to him, and he promptly pulled you into his lap, seemingly in a more affectionate mood than usual as he rubbed his face against your inner neck multiple times, his length rubbing against the bottom of your nightgown.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Azriel asked, voice quiet and gentle as ever, as if nothing had been happening mere moments before. His shadows’ soothing touch against your skin mingled with his scarred hands as he reached to grab you from Cassian’s arms, only for the male to refuse to hand you over, intent on rubbing into you until you reeked of his scent.

You shook your head, though the answer was lost as you watched the two of them glare at each other, Azriel’s growl that tumbled from his lips doing nothing to alleviate the tension, and Cassian’s returning growl not helping. You sighed, a nightmare long forgotten as you dealt with the new nightmare you’d created.

“Quit with the territorial shit, just…share, or something.”

You said, Cassian giving you a skeptical glance. Azriel, however, looked like he’d just realized something, a dark feline glimmer entering his eyes as he smiled slowly. Cassian and you both noticed this, glancing at each other.

“Scheming face?”

You asked in a low tone. Cassian sighed.

“Definitely.”

He answered, already dreading what his brother would think, but excited as well.

“You want us to share you, hmm?”

Azriel’s voice, now a low purr, asked as he crept closer to you and Cassian on the bed. A flush entered your cheeks as you realized what he was implying, and how much you liked the idea was obvious based on the heat already pooling in your core, much faster than it usually would’ve, and should’ve been.

Cassian grinned wickedly, clearly enjoying where this was going. Azriel tilted his head slightly at you, clearly asking for your consent, even if the answer was obvious. Your little nod was all he needed before his hands were on both you and Cassian.

“Let’s continue where we left off.”

He said with a small smirk, easily flipping Cassian’s muscular body over onto his stomach, with you lying further above him on the bed. You watched, nearly entranced as Azriel’s throbbing cock pushed into Cassian’s ass, the male jerking and rubbing his hips into the bed for any relief or friction.

“Az—“

“Get her ready for me, Cass.”

That little order was all the General needed, clothes ripped off by his large hands and lying on the floor in pieces. His tongue was immediately on you, giving you no reprieve as it licked a stripe through your sopping wet core, the erotic sounds of slurping filling the air as he lapped up everything your pussy had to offer for him, nose brushing against your clit as he began tongue fucking you, groaning against you as you moaned his name.

The familiar white-hot pleasure was building in your core as your hand fisted in Cassian’s hair, tugging at the already loose bun it was in as he moaned into you, tongue loosely vibrating with the action as he began sloppily sucking your clit, throwing his ass out to meet Azriel’s thrusts as the shadowsinger also grabbed his hair, pulling back as you pulled forwards.

He’d already been on the edge, but the minute your hands gripped the base of your wings and squeezed, he came all over the mattress, face buried in you as Azriel groaned at how he’d tightened around him, thrusts speeding up before he came right after you.

It was a mess of moans and sloppy sex, before Azriel slipped out of Cassian, pulling the General up into a wet kiss, both males were still dazed, but Cassian pulled away despite Az’s growl of protest to mumble something out.

“She’s ovulating, Az.”

He said, panting for air as you watched the both of them in a heated gaze. Azriel’s eyes widened, before filling with a dark heat as he looked down at your spread form.

“Is she?”

He crooned as he pulled you back up into his arms, glancing at Cassian as the other male moved behind you, arms sliding over your waist and groping your sensitive breasts as you moaned at it, mind still spinning from your last orgasm as Azriel’s hand went to settle on your hips, the other stroking himself as he looked down at you.

“Does our pretty girl want to be bred? Does she need two big, strong males to fill her up?”

He crooned, a rare and wicked smile beginning to form on his lips as you whimpered, nodding as he lined himself up with your entrance. You heard the ‘click’ of something opening and squirting out, before being put back on the nightstand.

Glancing back, you saw Cassian rubbing lube onto his dick. He gave you a lazy grin when he saw you watching him before Azriel pushed into you and made your attention snap back to him, despite Cassian’s slick hands fingering your hole, lubing you up now.

“Azriel..”

You said breathlessly, inches and inches of him pushing in, stretching you wider than anyone you’d ever had before. It didn’t help that Cassian slowly began pushing into your ass at the same time, sandwiching you between their warm chests as Az’s shadows caressed your nipples.

“Please, please-“

You mumbled as they both finally were to the hilt, rubbing gently up and down your walls, only a thin layer of flesh separating their dicks.

“Easy, angel. Tell us ‘red’ if it gets too much, alright?”

You nodded, but Azriel didn’t seem impressed, looking you in the eye as he began moving in little thrusts that Cassian quickly picked up on and matched.

“Words.”

Azriel said firmly, looking you in the eye. You whimpered.

“Y- yes.”

You managed to get out, even as their thrusts turned deeper, faster until you could feel every delicious vein rubbing against you. Cassian groaned, hips snapping against you at a punishing pace as his chest rubbed against your back, his teeth and tongue on your neck.

“Oh fuck, ‘can feel you throbbing, Az.”

He groaned, panting against your skin, the pace only speeding up with Azriel matching him. Azriel’s gaze was unfocused as you tightened around him, his wings shuddering.

Cassian’s hands went from around you to around Azriel, reaching over and to his back. Azriel’s eyes widened as he saw what he was about to do, and his hands shot out to stop him, but they were too late as Cassian groped the base of Azriel’s wings. Azriel let out a lewd moan, hands then groping Cassian’s wings and he did the same, both bucking into you at random, eyes rolling skywards as Azriel came, spewing thick buckets into you.

Cassian panted, dick throbbing as you came for the umpteenth time that night. The two exchanged a glance, a silent conversation happening between them as Azriel pulled out, and before you could even whine at it, Cassian bullied his dick into your hole, pushing it as deep as he could as you cried out, his cum mixing with Azriel’s

He shuddered, collapsing onto you, only pulling out because Azriel managed to grab you and move you over to him, pulling you against his chest as Cassian whined and scooted over to the both of you, arms sliding around you next to Az’s, his wing draping over both of you, Azriel’s wrapped around both of you underneath his.

“You okay?”

Cassian asked, sounding tired, but content and satisfied. You nodded, sighing.

“Yeah, that was nice.”

You mumbled against Azriel’s shoulder, eyes starting to slowly shut, your mind keenly ignoring the mess all three of you had made in the bed.

*********************************************************

That night had been a one-night thing, you told yourself.

Even if you’d had morning sickness the past three months, your stomach had been bloating badly for weeks, the mornings you’d had to skip training or found your feet sore and aching.

Even as you lay down on the table, Madja’s cold, skilled hands ran over your stomach and pushed, touching, feeling for tense minutes, before she delivered the news you’d been hoping against.

“You are…pregnant. It’s too early to determine anything further than that and too late to abort it.”

Her old voice rang out, and you swallowed, shoving down the feelings and tears that bubbled up as you nodded. Getting up and pulling your shirt back on as you went for the door, mumbling thanks.

“I..wish you the best.”

She muttered as you walked out, making your way to the training grounds from Madja’s tent, where you knew Azriel and Cassian would be sparring, or maybe today’s training would be over by now.

Your suspicion was confirmed as you spotted the two downing water, Cassian grinning about something that was probably as stupid as he could be sometimes, while Azriel gave him an unamused look. Azriel noticed you first, gaze darting towards you, seeing your upset and slightly panicked look and immediately trying to figure out what was wrong, why, when it had happened, and how he could fix it.

He said something to Cassian that not even your Fae hearing could register, and Cassian frowned, glancing at you. When you reached them, the General held his arms out, and you stumbled into them, bursting into tears and reprimanding yourself mentally for it.

Both of their eyes softened and Cass was holding you close, Azriel right by him, one hand on your shoulder comfortingly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

The words tumbled out before you could stop them.

“I’m pregnant.”

You said with a sniffle, and then your already hazy vision went downright blurry as you began crying anew, this time at the feeling, the snapping in your chest of something slotting right into place. And then Azriel was crying and holding onto you and Cassian, and then Cassian was crying.

It was an entire mess, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, having those two as your mates, and them having each other as mates. The need to be around and with them at all times, to have them inside and out, to hold you, was all too overwhelming.

And to know that…

“It’s…ours?”

You were carrying one of their children?

“Yes.”

You managed to get out, tears reduced to sniffles from all parties as Azriel then easily picked you up, Cassian right beside him, the both of them walking into the House, but Azriel faltered at the stairs.

“Your room.”

Cassian said. The male wanted to be smothered with the scent of his mate’s scent in his room, in his sheets, with his shadows. You lived in the townhouse, so your room wasn’t an option, unfortunately enough.

“Yours.”

Azriel countered, a hint of pleading in his gaze that Cassian had rarely seen before. With a sigh, and running a hand through his dark hair, he relented.

“Fine. My room.”

Cassian’s room probably had fewer hidden daggers under pillows, mattresses, and gods know where anyway, you figured, as you were carried to Cassian’s room and into the warmth inside it, Az’s shadows following along eagerly. They were surprisingly friendly, immediately tightening around you and Cassian, especially on your stomach, even if there was barely any sign of it showing yet. As he noticed it, Azriel’s gaze turned concerned.

“Have you had any morning sickness?”

He asked in a concerned tone. You hesitated before speaking.

“Or cramps?”

Cassian then asked, shuddering at the thought of it.

“Or aches and pains?”

“Or sore ankles?”

“Or nausea, vomiting, and fatigue?

“Oh gods, don’t tell me you’ve had any heat flashes…those are the worst.”

They went on and on listing any and every pregnancy symptom you’ve heard of, and some you hadn’t before you interrupted them.

“Guys, yes to most of those, but I’m fine.”

Their faces only seemed more concerned with that, Azriel speaking.

“You are growing a child, one of our children inside of you, which might have wings that can make a birth deadly, might I remind you, and you expect us not to be concerned?”

He asked, Cassian then horrified at the thought of it. You sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

“It’ll all be okay, Madja told me that some females adjust to the wings and their birth canal widens.”

Cassian raised a brow.

“Feyre’s didn’t.”

“Yeah, well Feyre was born human, died, and was brought back to life with magic. She might not be the best example.”

You said dryly, Azriel setting you on the large bed, big enough for both of the Illyrian males to easily have enough room for their wings to spread. That was probably purposeful, given what you’d caught them doing three months ago. Your face crinkled in a thoughtful frown as you thought about it.

“How long have you two been fucking?”

You then asked. Cassian coughed for a minute, swallowing, and Azriel had a light dusting of pink on his cheeks as he tried to answer, stammering, before giving a resigned sigh.

“It’s an…on and off thing.”

He answered in a slightly strained tone, and you were skeptical, as was clear based on your expression.

“Not anymore, I guess. Not that I mind.”

You said with an amused smile, and Cassian only grinned, sitting down next to you as he leaned over and gave Az a chaste kiss on the lips, still grinning like an idiot when he pulled away.

“You don’t know how good it feels to do that and not feel an ounce of regret or the urge to hide it.”

He said to you, still grinning out of pure joy as he then kissed you on the lips. Even Azriel had a small smile on his face, one that turned into more of a surprised expression as you pulled a packet of crackers from your pocket, the kind you would only get from a restaurant as a small side, and opened the package, offering one to Cassian, and one to him.

“Are you sure?”

Azriel asked, clearly mirroring Cassian’s thoughts as they shared a glance. You nodded.

“I’m sure, and before you even think about it, it won’t hurt the baby as long as we don’t go too rough.”

“It’s called a frenzy for a reason.”

“I wasn’t aware a frenzy would involve bashing my stomach in.”

A low growl sounded from both males as you even said that in a dry tone.

“Don’t say such things.”

Azriel said with a huff, pulling you further back into the bed to lay down with his hand on your stomach, Cassian eagerly joined you, laying his head down right above your stomach and smiling down at the tiniest of little bumps that were there, his hand caressing the bottom of it. It could easily be mistaken as just bloating or a little stomach pouch, but they knew.

With one hand, Cassian popped the cracker into his mouth. Azriel hesitated, but seeing Cassian do it, and seeing you so at ease with them made him sigh and relent, one bite swallowing the cracker whole from him.

*********************************************************

The frenzy hadn’t been tame at all, but the full force and frustrations they couldn’t involve in their sex with you, they took out on each other.

Sometimes it was slow, and loving while you got to watch and lay on the sidelines, and with how often you were sick in the mornings or nauseous or just plain tired, you were perfectly content doing when not catching up on lost sleep. However, more often than not it was fast, aggressive, and more like a battle of dominance between the two males that Azriel usually ended up winning, but when Cassian did….

You still couldn’t get the sight of Az, ass up and filled by Cassian, face shoved down halfway into the mattress by the firm hand pulling on his hair, his mouth open as he, the stoic shadowsinger and Spymaster, moaned and whimpered, eyes wide and shadows holding him down for Cass.

When they did take their turns with you, determined not to overwhelm you, they were nothing more than gentle and loving, restraining themselves to an almost painful point.

When the bond had finally died down, the two took up what was almost like shifts. When Azriel had missions, Cassian was watching you, tending to you and your every need. When Cassian had to go visit the war camps, Azriel was there, quiet and loving you in his quiet way. On the very rare occasions that they were busy, Azriel would leave his shadows with you, or some of them at least, and check in on you very often.

You wanted to go walk and get food? No. They could carry you. You didn’t need to be putting weight on your ankles.

Your feet hurt? Cassian would take the left and massage it, Azriel on the right while the shadows fetched a cold towel for the heat flashes you’d had.

Morning sickness? They had Madja on speed dial with the herbs and tonics and everything they could get for you, besides holding your hair back as you hurled and cleaning it from your mouth.

Weird food cravings? They would fetch it without a single weird look, and you even got Cassian to try a pickle with hot sauce on it once.

Anything you wanted, you got. Hot baths with both of them, massages, heating pads, specific cravings, medicine, love and affection, cuddles, kisses, literally anything. These men were whipped for you and each other, and their favorite time of day was when you were all home together at night.

Cassian would be on your left side always, claiming it as the superior side and his favorite, his arm wrapped under you, his hand on your belly and wing curled around both you and Az as his head lay on the pillow next to you, hot breath fanning over your neck.

“G’night, love ya.”

He mumbled, a sleepy grin on his face as he looked from you to Az. Azriel had one arm wrapped under and around you as well, the hand that wasn’t in use on your stomach right above Cassian’s. His wings were stretched beside him, hanging off the bed so the wind from the window would blow onto them, something you suspected helped soothe the scars that covered the leathery appendages.

“Goodnight, Cassian. Goodnight, Y/N.”

Azriel would speak, voice betraying a bit of drowsiness. You were sandwiched between the two, but between Cassian’s heat on your left, and the cool window air and touch of Azriel on your right, it was a nice balance. You smiled, one hand on your stomach, between Azriel’s on the top and Cassian’s on the bottom, yours just in the middle.

“Goodnight, mates.”

You murmured, smiling to no one in particular as you drifted off to sleep.

[starrydragoness]

Saw some fanart on Twitter that got my wheels turning. Tacet marks that glow during intercourse. With Jiyan. That's it. Just imagining a completely dark room with the only source of light being your two tacet marks. I'd probably have giggled a bit, if it was real…

A/n: listen.. it is hot.. it is what it is- goofy but hot. Hope you enjoy this little drabble <3

Contents: NSFW, MDNI, Jiyan x AFAB! Reader

Calloused hands grasp onto every inch of skin they can reach, the fine sheen of sweat making their grasp not as sure. Jiyan’s pants, golden eyes became an olive green in the dark night from when he mounted you. The tacet mark in the middle of your torso, right below your collarbone, has become his focus throughout the exchange of dirty words and even filthier touches. He noticed the way it slowly began to glow, a dim light at first but the more he touched you, the stronger the glow became. It didn't surpass the soft glow, and wouldn't get any stronger, but the sight alone came as proof that this was pleasing you as well.

You laid so beautifully under him with your arms at your sides, whining and producing such sweet sounds that were a song to his ears. Groaning, he leaned down, immediately feeling your arms come to rest around his shoulders. His lips ghosted your tacet mark, nipping at it before climbing further up where they found your kiss-bruised lips, drowning your moans while his cock plunged into your heat again. His pace had slowed down, clearly frustrating you and making you all the needier, your hips bucking up against him, silently begging for him to properly fuck you. 

“Jiyan-” you gasp between the presses of his lips, half lidded eyes full of lust staring back at you, watching you swallow the lump in your throat and writhe under him. 

“What is it, my love?” Raspy voice graces your ears and sends a shiver down your spine. His nose is brushing against yours, and before you can force a plea from your throat, you see him lean in again to press his forehead against yours, the movement followed by another thrust of his hips.

Every thrust seems to erase the thoughts from your mind, leaving you a blank slate. 

“Mmh- please.. harder..We’ve waited long enough” you breathe out, warm breath fanning against his skin, lips only a breath away. Hunger raged within the depths of your belly, screaming for more even as you bucked your hips against his, making him groan. With brows knit together in an expression that only translated want and need and failed concentration, he looked beyond divine. In all his disheveled state you could only marvel at the way he looked, feeling giddy yet filthy all the same. 

Jiyan bit the inside of his lips, his eyes falling shut as he dipped his head into your neck where you felt him kiss away at your skin as his hips finally sped up, matching both of your needs, lighting your skin ablaze.

Grasping and clutching for purchase, your chin found the bend of his shoulder, your arms circled around him in a tight, passionate embrace. Jiyan knew just the best ways to carve out your insides without seemingly even trying.

Cracking one eye open, you caught sight of the dim light coming from his back. A wanton moan escaped your lips as his cock brushed against your soft insides, walls fluttering around his thick length. Your fingers danced up across his sweaty skin, coming in contact with the glowing tacet mark and you felt him shiver under your touch. Choked breaths confined themselves in your throat, the tension building in your belly as his hips slammed into you, wet squelches echoing in the room and the light night breeze from the window only added to the erotic atmosphere as it licked up your sides.

“Mm! Jiyan!” you mewled as he held you close, one arm bent underneath you to bind you to him, while the other rested him on the elbow. He grunted into your ear and then let out a shaky moan, and you could swear you heard no sound more heavenly than his sounds of pleasure. 

“That’s it-” Muttered Jiyan, his lips ghosting your earlobe before he caught it gently between his teeth, and in response you dug your fingernails into his back, his tacet mark not being shown any mercy. His hips stutter but he doesn’t stop, the mellow pain sends him to crave more, makes him chase the pleasure with fervor and desperation put in every thrust until he has you shaking underneath him and crying out from the pleasure, his weight comfortably holding you down as he keeps drilling his cock into you. 

Ⓒ starrydragoness. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[velvet-n-lace]

Can You Suck Yourself Off? 💖

Series: Obey Me!

Genre: Smut/Headcanon

Word Count: 1.4k words

Pairing(s): The Brothers x Gender Neutral MC

Tags and Warnings: autofellatio, masturbation, humiliation, blowjob, fucking you so hard you lose your memory [NOT CLICKBAIT]

A/N: This has been a long time coming; I was initially gonna wait until 666 followers on my OM blog to start posting my writing, but with the recent developments of the games and people being afraid that OM fanfics will be deleted because of it, I decided to just post them now. I'm posting my AO3 stuff here, so if you can't wait for what I'm gonna post, you can just go read them on there; thanks ^^

rea the AO3 version here -> 🎀

Lucifer 💙

When you suggested it to him, it looked like he wanted to push you off the bed. To have you watch him suck his own cock is the last thing he wanted you to do. He covered your mouth and continued fucking you for the rest of the night, hoping you would forget that you even asked such a question.

After that steamy night, your lewd request was all he could think of.

“Ridiculous, I would never do such a thing...”

He stared down at his half-flaccid cock and made sure his door was locked. After stroking it hard again, he bent his head down and sucked down on it slowly.

“Ridiculous… ridiculous… ridiculous…”

Surprisingly, it made him realize the difficulty you have to deal with when you give him a blowjob; Luci is hard to impress, and even his self-sucking felt like it wasn’t enough; he wanted more and more of it.

After trying for a few minutes, he gave up and jacked himself off to take his mind off his half-assed attempt.

Asking him to do it in front of you would be like asking for a death wish, so he expects you never to bring it up again.

But he would certainly try again behind closed doors until he is ready to let you watch him do it~

Mammon 💛

“Are ya crazy!? I ain’t doin’ something that humiliating!”

Exactly what you’d expect, you pouted and asked him again.

“If you do, I’ll get Goldie back to you by tomorrow night.”

Mammon’s face went completely blank, and he immediately followed that up by stroking his cock to get it hard again. Lucifer took away his credit card again, and he was willing to do anything to win his precious Goldie back. He lowered his face to his cock and began sucking it viciously.

He really wanted Goldie back. Damn.

You watched in awe as he sucked his cock. He bobbed his head quickly, almost trying to get it over with, but he began enjoying this new method of self-pleasure. He glanced at you but only shut his eyes tightly before he sucked harder, making his whole body convulse. It turned him on even more as you touched yourself in front of him. He let his cum drip down his dick before it spurted on his face and into his mouth.

“Augh!! Y-You better… get my precious credit card back…” he panted as he lifted his head from his crotch.

He totally didn’t enjoy that… 

Leviathan 🧡

“Eh? S-Self-suck?”

“Do it, do it, do it!” You tell him.

Levi didn’t know what he was getting into, but whatever it was, he wanted to please you however he could. He leaned himself upside down against the bathtub bed, bent his legs down, and started sucking down on one of his cocks slowly.

His other cock began twitching as you stared at him hungrily; you took his other cock in your mouth and sucked alongside him.

His body convulsed, his moaning was loud, and his face was red as a beet. “This is so lewd omg omg. I can’t believe I'm doing this,” He thinks.

You can feel his heartbeat surging through his cocks; he almost begged you to do more to his body.

He writhed in ecstasy as you teased him some more. He shut his eyes as he got close to climaxing.

“Mmmmh… mmmmhh… mmmh… mmgh!!”

By the end, you could only hear his gasping and moaning as he came huge loads on his face. He looks up at you as he’s drowned in gratitude and arousal.

Satan 💚

He stared down at you with a confused look, maybe a bit disappointed that you asked him something he would immediately refuse to do.

“You’re very bold to assume I would do that…”

As soon as you left the room, he began thinking about it. He looked down at the bulge in his pants and sighed. “Tch…”

After unzipping them, his erection sprung free. It twitched in his hand, but he hesitated to bend down to lick the tip.

He felt a rush of heat flow through him; he had never felt such a strange sensation as his own member entered his mouth, and you also felt a surge of arousal the moment you walked in on him trying it.

“AH! Ugh… fine, watch.”

Satan worked his tongue down his own shaft, and you could feel his moaning getting louder the more flustered he got.

He looked up at you with a mixture of anger and desire; he was cumming soon, and he knew that the moment he finished, he would have his way with you.

He was trying so hard to hold back his release, knowing he had let his guard down for a moment. He took a deep breath, and his seed spurted across his face before he panted heavily. Later that night, he made sure to fuck that memory out of you.

Asmodeus 🩷

“Like I don’t do that anyway!” Asmo winks at you as he bends his legs over his head with ease, his demon cock dangling over his pretty mouth, “Enjoy the show. ♡”

He licks his lips before wrapping them around his sensitive cock-head. He keeps glancing at your face, in awe of his flexibility and self-pleasure, like you're craving his existence.

His eyes locked onto yours, and you could feel his intense heat emanating through his core; he pulled you in so you could help him out.

“Aaah... that’s right, lick the rest of it, suck on my balls while I suck myself off.”

He moaned in delight when you joined; his body was writhing in ecstasy as his thighs trembled and his moaning got louder.

He was on the verge of climaxing but acted as if it was only the beginning. His balls tightened in your mouth the more he laced his tongue down his shaft.

He let out a guttural groan as a wave of cum spilled all over his face.

His sweet seed filled his mouth, and as he caught his breath, he was ready for you to have a taste of him next~

Beelzebub ❤️

“Hmm…” He stared down at his cock, wondering if his mouth could reach a sliver of it, “I think so… I’ll try…”

He took a deep breath and bent toward his massive member; his tongue flicked out eagerly as he wondered what he tasted like.

He was fixated on his cock; he knew it was huge, but he never considered this method before you brought it up. Beel wanted it to feel as good as your own lips.

His eyes glaze over at you; bending down to take it was easy enough, but it was challenging to bring it all down to his throat.

“MC, can you lick the rest of it, please?”

You lick up what he couldn’t reach; his body tensed up, and his sucking got harder, desperate to taste his own cum.

“Mmmmh… mmmmhh… mmmh…”

Beel began to grunt and moan, your hands gripping his cock as he went down on his throbbing member.

You felt the heat of his saliva on your fingers; the remaining grunts filled your ears as he swallowed his load.

Belphegor 💜

“Mh? I’d rather you do it for me…”

“C’mon, please, just once,” you begged, “I’ll do it after you try,” the more you begged, the more he couldn’t resist your sweet, pleading face.

“Mmh… fine, “ Belphie grumbled, “but you need to help me…” He pulled down his pants and cupped his member already glistening with precum. He closed his eyes and leaned down to lick the tip before coughing up his salty taste.

It felt nice; his breathing became erratic the more he pressed his cock into his mouth.

“Suck on me too, please!” He begged.

You eagerly obliged and ran your tongue down his balls and shaft, making him tremble. His satisfied groan only made his cock swell in his mouth, but he was still unsatisfied with his half-assed attempt.

Your tongue helped him out immensely; he kept moaning harder as he begged you for more. He was really enjoying your pretty mouth teasing his shaft.

He pulled back so suddenly, and as he laid down panting, it didn’t stop you from finishing the job. You took his cock in your mouth and sucked down on it violently.

Your tongue swirled around the head, tasting his bittersweet essence. His moans grew louder and more intense, and as he let out a final cry, he came and realized it was all worth it in the end.

[e-nonsense]

hello girly! can i request for roses in lace if it isn't hassle for you dear!

a scenario where we end up turning the tables on him, just to get him flustered and embarrassed maybe with some suggestive jokes, freaky invitations since he keeps telepathically talking to them so thats her way of getting back at him and she just enjoys how he fumbles

hes so gorgeous i swear, got me going feral for him fr!! anyways feel free to ignore this if it doesnt interest you, have a lovely day <3

MENTALLY VULGUR

pairing. charles xavier x fem!reader

warning. smut, oral (69, m&f), post cuba (he’s in the chair), charles being a cutie

a/n. i love love that picture of james, he looks so cute. did i write my longest smut fic for a character ppl dont read? yes

it started innocently, little flashes of the two of you cuddling in bed together, you completely thrown over him, then he started speaking in your mind. little teasing remarks that he’d act innocently about later.

you’d decided to turn it against him.

“may i add that you look stunning in that dress”

“you should see me without it then.”

you held back the giggle when you saw him pause, you could hear his brain go blank at your innuendo before he cleared his throat, shooting you a flustered smile before pretending to have not heard anything and he went back to grading papers.

you realised since then he’d had a tendency to stay out of your head, well he wasn’t speaking in it anymore but you’d still get the little flashes of his fantasy’s with you.

“you’re a little psychic perv, Charles.” you whispered low into his ear, you’d been pushing his wheelchair along the pathway outside, taking him for his usual rounds around his land, he liked getting out of the school everyday, especially if you were the one he’d be spending that time with.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

you hum softly in response, “take a look inside my head, sweetheart. you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

he can’t help his curiosity sometimes so he does, he takes a little peek inside your thoughts, his lips parting in surprise at the image at the front of your mind.

him under you, very much naked.

“oh my..” he mutters, blue eyes widening comically. he looked cute as he turned his head to look at you, before turning away just as fast, flustered.

“what’s wrong, Charles?” you practically purr, amusement dripping from your voice. “you started it.”

you hear him grumble, a whining edge to his voice. “stop teasing.”

“make me,” you reply, lifting his hand up, your chin on his shoulder as you lean down, you place two of his fingers against your temples. “c’mon, sweetheart. if you want me to stop so badly, make me.”

instead of listening he uses his mutation to make you take him back to the manor, straight to his bedroom. it’d be a struggle if you weren’t telekinetic, he smiled as you pressed several kisses against his cheek, returning the favour when you sat yourself on his lap.

he sat up, leaning back against the headboard of his bed for support, one of his hands on your hip and the other on the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

your kiss was consuming, like he was trying to possess you, to physically bind you to him so he could kiss you like this forever. his gasp made your stomach flutter, you feel his half hard on pressing against you.

he’d clearly liked the image you put in his head earlier.

your fingers tugged his jacket off, tugging his shirt off over his head, his body shivering at the cold air hitting his pale skin.

his fingers tugged at your shirt, helping you pull it off. his eyes immediately dropping to your chest, unclipping your bra and tossing it to the side.

“you’re beautiful.”

he didn’t waste a second before grabbing them, eyes darkened with desire, his fingers pinching your nipple as your hands went to his pants, undoing his zipper and button and dragging it down his legs along his his boxers.

he flushed as he sat naked in front you, hands sagging to his sides now that your boobs were out of reach, you’d heard his grumble of complaint about that.

you didn’t wait much longer before you stripped down yourself, tossing your remaining clothes into the pile with his.

charles’ eyes lit up, an idea in his head before he flashed it into your mind. no verbal communication needed, he wanted to taste you.

you helped him lie down on his back properly, before adjusting yourself on top of him. stomach to stomach, pussy hovering over his face, and his crotch in front of yours.

he dragged your hips down, so you were no longer hovering over him, your core meeting his mouth, his tongue darting out to taste you.

your hand pumped his half hard cock, spitting on it to lubricate and you felt his groan vibrating against you. your lips parted as you took the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him.

he could’ve sworn he could cum right then.

but he wasn’t ready to be outdone by your skilled tongue and hands. so he moved a hand up towards your pussy, his tongue flicking against your clit teasingly as his index finger prodded your hole.

dipping in when you least expected it to draw louder moans out of you when he sucked on your clit. your hips squirmed against his face, rolling against him.

he heard a gag but felt the warmth of your mouth completely enveloping him.

he fingered you as his head fell back, his middle and index fingers moving in and out of you quickly. charles had come to learn how to use his fingers more skilfully every since he’d lost the use of his legs.

not on other women of course, women no longer looked at him because of his disability. he’d learnt it for you, because you were the only woman who looked his way nowadays, not that he minded.

“charles—”

he could tell his ‘training’ had worked when you came all over his face with your cut off warning.

he licked his fingers clean off your essence before pulling your mouth off his cock. you whined in protest, met his his soft tsk in return.

“later, i wanna feel you now. don’t deny me this, sweetheart.”

your pout didn’t go away but you complied, lifting yourself up away from his face. he frowned slightly.

“i’m sorry, but i’m not going to be much use now.”

he could feel the doubt settling in his heart, what if you just realised he couldn’t give you what you want? what you need? charles wasn’t a self sufficient man anymore, he needed to be taken care of.

“that’s okay,” your answer came before he could fully believe in his doubts. you pressed a gentler kiss against his lips. “let me take care of you, charles.” you whispered softly to him, he could’ve cried right then.

but it would’ve ruined the mood, he’ll open up about that later, he thought. you’d listen, he knew you would.

he nodded. watching you line yourself up with him, charles was a good length. a satisfying length, with the perfect thickness to stretch you out and not hurt you at the same time.

you both moaned in sync as you lowered yourself onto him, sinking onto his cock until he filled you up to the hilt.

his hands moved to your thighs when you started bouncing on his cock, he adored the way you looked like this. on top of him, so pretty with the way your face contorted out of pleasure.

“you look so pretty.”

he called out to you, his hands running down your body, one of his fingers rubbing your clit in circular motions.

“that’s it sweetheart. you’re doing so well.”

charles guessed that if he couldn’t fuck you like you deserved then he’d help however he could, touching you and words.

and god did he love the way you reacted to his words. he watched you bounce on his cock, this angle did you wonders.

you looked like a goddess, the warm lighting from his lamps shining against your sweaty skin and eyes dazed yet so concentrated.

his fingers sped up their motions on your clit, running faster until your hips stuttered and you tightened around him as you came.

maybe this would work. maybe you’d love him despite everything, love him the way he does you.

the stars pale in comparison to your beauty, but he’d tell you that another time. a sweeter time when you weren’t so exhausted.

maybe when he buys you that ring if the day comes. then he’d tell you how much he adores you, for now he’ll settle for the teasing and the way you lay atop him thighs burning under his gentle touch.

for now he’ll hold you.

© e-nonsense. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off

[lesbianhalflifeposting]

Could you imagine being Chell. Getting through to the end of a testing track after hours. Sweaty, exhausted, clothes clinging to your skin, wanting nothing more than to get in the elevator and be done for the day. Dropping a final cube onto its button and feeling the immense relief of the exit door sliding open, striding towards it, almost dead on your feet. Stepping through to where the elevator should be, only to find a blank room. Hearing the whir of air vents, starting to feel your knees turn to jelly beneath you, realizing you've been had. Feeling your legs give out, your entire body crumple to the floor, the last thing you see being the Party Escort Bot grabbing your ankles before the darkness ebbing at the edges of your vision wins out and you know nothing more.

Could you imagine slowly letting your mind come back to life. Dim light piercing through the blackness of unconsciousness, dragging you back to the world of the living. Realizing as your senses came back online that everything didn't feel quite right. Your body felt twisted, contorted in ways you couldn't make sense of. Feeling a pain inside you, but one that you just couldn't place. The events leading up to this moment flooding back into your brain, and your mind jolting to attention.

Could you imagine your eyes snapping open, desperately taking in your situation as the sensations you'd felt earlier now aligned into focus. Tied down on your knees, arms behind your back, unable to move no matter how you squirm. Wearing only your sports bra, every other piece of clothing you own being MIA. Forced down onto a massive dildo, one you couldn't possibly take normally. Stretched out to a degree that would make someone weaker cry out, silicone head rubbing against your cervix with every movement.

Could you imagine feeling a chill rush over you, goosebumps prickling as the PA crackled to life. Hearing that familiar breathy whisper as the full nature of your exposed form, your complete and utter vulnerability sank in. How she'd managed to outsmart you, humiliate you like this, in a way you had promised yourself you'd never let her do.

"I have to admit, I had expected much more resistance from you, Chell. I almost wonder if you wanted this to happen. For how much you fight me, you seem to be quite the perfect little slut. I was amazed at how little effort it took getting you down like this, let alone forcing that member inside you. You were wet from the bot's first touch, weren't you?"

Could you imagine growing red, humiliated at her words, disgraced at how she spoke about you. How dare she? A machine, a thing, calling you a whore? And yet... Could you imagine feeling yourself start to drip around the fake cock. Were you enjoying this??? Was she turning you on? Maybe she was right. Maybe you are a fucking slu-

Could you imagine your head throwing back, your mind going completely blank as the massive protrusion pressing against your most sensitive spots started vibrating. Shockwaves penetrating throughout your core, causing every muscle in your body to tense, only the restraints on your legs holding you upright. Trying desperately to find some kind of purchase to rub your clit on but finding nothing but cool air; feeling your slick gush from around the shaft within you, puddling on the floor around your thighs. Biting back moans and whines so she couldn't hear; trying desperately to hide how despite everything, this felt so GOOD. Failing to catch one as it left your mouth; a long, drawn-out, gurgling, guttural noise you didn't even know was capable of coming from your lungs.

"So you are enjoying this! Just when I was starting to doubt my hypothesis, you provide me with the ultimate piece of evidence. My own mute, dangerous whore."

Could you imagine her words barely registering in your mind as the intensity of the vibrations kicked up, surely for her viewing pleasure. Bucking your hips against the restraints, just barely managing to rise half an inch off the ground before the straps ground against your skin, keeping you from going any further. Slamming yourself back down onto the floor, the tip ramming itself back against your cervix in a mixture of extreme pain and pure ecstasy that you needed more of. Bouncing yourself up and down as much as your condition would allow, feeling your core start to tense up, release starting to poke its head over the horizon, edging closer and closer before finally taking you. Pure white flooding your vision as your eyes roll back, orgasm bursting from within your deep core, conscious thought escaping out the back door as pure pleasure takes its place.

Could you imagine the wave of ecstasy starting to subside, your train of thought reasserting itself as the world comes back to you. Taking in your own sorry state post-orgasm; a thick layer of sweat beads atop brown skin, bra soaked through so cleanly you can see the outlines of your areola. Slick puddled beneath you, mixing with the sweat of your thighs, soaking into your folds. Limbs limp with exhaustion, your body held upright only by the ties around your ankles

"My my. That was an incredible display you put on for me. I almost didn't want it to end. But, I suppose like all tests, results must come eventually. That said-"

Could you imagine jerking back as the vibrations returned, much stronger than they had been before. Feeling your sensitive cunt cry out as it was overstimulated, your mind flooded with painful pleasure as you start to cry out in between moans.

"-All good science must be repeatable through experimentation. I simply must gather more data before reaching conclusions. You understand, don't you, you little whore? After all, it's for science :)."

[lovelyunholyc]

better than i ever even knew

NSFW - MINORS AND BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

fem!reader. pet names (princess, sweetheart, pretty girl, baby), minor angst start but happy ending, confessions, frenemies to lovers, porn with feelings on feelings. multiple orgasms, oral (f! receiving), mating press, riding, unprotected sex, matsukawa can and will fold u like a pretzel. if there's anything i missed, pls let me know, enjoy :)

"something you'd like to say to me, issei?"

makki had fallen asleep on your movie night, and you'd excused yourself to use their bathroom, only to find matsukawa waiting in the hallway for you after. he's caged you in somehow, pinned you to the wall like an insect on corkboard, with nothing more than his commanding presence and a notably large hand to the wall beside your head. he looms over you, imposing.

like he always seems to be, only to you.

his face is mere inches from your own, his eyes dark, half-lidded like they always are - but there's something different this time, something deeper and a little more dangerous.

you can't help but watch his tongue dart out to wet his lips. they look even more plush and irresistibly pink from this close.

you've always wondered what they'd feel like between your teeth.

matsukawa snorts, eyes narrowing even further. "don't play coy, princess."

too stubborn to admit that the intensity of his gaze flusters you and clouds your mind too much to think of a witty reply, you avert your eyes and direct your focus on the hood of his jacket instead. "stop calling me that," you spit, at the strings of his hoodie, just as unwilling to address how his pet name for you has started to make heat bloom beneath your skin lately. he's been calling you that for years, and you used to find it endearing, used to blush for an entirely different reason when he spoke it.

now, it grates on your nerves.

it grates on your nerves how much you like it, how much you want him to call you that in other less than wholesome scenarios.

matsukawa hums thoughtfully, tilts his head in wonder. "what's gotten into you lately, hm? you've never had any problems with it before." he inches closer to inspect your expression.

you turn your head completely to avoid looking at him directly, so his gaze falls on the side of your face.

which might not have been the best idea, because it exposes the flush rising up your neck and to your cheeks.

matsukawa reaches up with his free hand and cradles your jaw, gentler than you expect. he traces the line of it with his thumb, making the back of your neck prickle pleasantly, stopping at your chin to move your head to face him. there's a tender sincerity in his eyes that you've rarely seen in him, all traces of the mischief prior completely gone, replaced with genuine concern. "are you alright?" his voice is nearly a whisper.

your mouth goes dry. the tension between you has morphed into something similar yet more profound, something that you're not sure you're ready to explore. you nod once, still averting your eyes.

"why have you been avoiding me?" he says softly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he almost sounds pained. "i miss you."

you think your heart stops beating.

so he'd noticed. you shouldn't have expected any less, really - you've been friends for years, you know each other like the backs of your hands.

you aren't sure when you'd started to want more from him. and concluding that it was unfair for you to expect that of him and not wanting to cross the boundary, the foundation you'd built as good friends, you'd started to withdraw. gradually, lessening your invites to him when it proved too painful for you to be alone together with him, making excuses when he extended the invite to you.

you aren't sure what it helped - it hurt all the same, and you couldn't help but feel bitter that you were in this situation, all because you felt things for him that you didn't think you should. bitter at him, though he doesn't deserve it - he's been there for you ever since you could remember - and bitter at yourself, for putting you both through it. and here he is, scorned even more by your distance too.

your eyes well up with guilt as you let his words sink in, and it's all you can do to blink the tears away before they fall.

"hey, i'm sorry, prin-" matsukawa falters, seems to catch himself, and it pains you even more how considerate he's being though you've been so cruel to him and hadn't meant what you said. "whatever it is, it'll be okay. don't waste your tears on me." oh, if only he knew.

he tilts your chin up to face him once more, swipes his thumbs gently beneath your eyes to collect the stray tears that manage to escape. you want to weep at how tenderly he treats you, how much it makes you want him even more, and he has no idea.

you can't help but scowl again. you hate how much you love him.

you grab his wrists and hold him away from you. "stop it, stop being so nice to me all of a sudden." your voice sounds thick with emotion even to you, and you hate that, too.

matsukawa's undoubtedly stronger than you, and he can undo your grip easily, but he doesn't. instead, that stupid, cocky smirk is back, sensing that you're nearly back to your normal, stubborn self.

but then he says something that turns your world completely on its axis.

"why shouldn't i be nice to the only person i've ever been in love with?"

his eyes are sincere, the most open and honest you've ever seen them.

you're frozen, unsure of what to say, how to process it, unsure if you're somehow dreaming. you drop his hands, but he takes yours again, the warmth of his palms in yours grounding you back to the moment.

"i don't expect you to feel the same way. i'll always love you as a friend, so please don't cut me out of your life." he squeezes your hands once, brings one up to his face so he can touch his lips to your knuckle, barely a graze of skin that leaves you wanting more, before letting you go. he shrugs, gives you a charming, lopsided smile, but you can tell he's trying too hard to be nonchalant. "don't think too hard about it. i'll leave you alone now, i'm sorry."

you catch the hem of his shirt on instinct just before he can walk away. "issei, wait."

he stops, but doesn't swivel back around to you. you can't help but wonder what kind of facial expression he's making. as it is, you can't bear to look at him, focusing instead on your thumb and forefinger pinching at the fabric of his shirt.

"issei...." it's then that you notice his hand closest to you is trembling lightly, and it makes your breath hitch. "are you serious?"

"i wouldn't joke about something like that," he says, and his voice is a lot softer.

"then....look at me and say it." you gather your courage to meet his eyes and tug him back, closer than he was before.

a tingle rushes up your spine when he fixes his gaze back on yours, and that infuriating, lovely little smirk is still in place. there's a soft intensity in his eyes that you've never seen before, and it makes every one of your nerves ignite.

"i'm in love with you, dummy."

the sudden rush of emotion makes you surge up to capture his lips. finally.

it surprises him, you can tell, but he only stands frozen for a tenth of a second before it seems like he's awoken and his lips are moving in kind, kissing you back in short bursts, hands finding your waist, until you deepen it and nip at him to slide your tongue into his mouth.

matsukawa chuckles lightly against you, you can feel his lips widen into that lopsided grin, and he nips right back at you before you pull away to breathe, a dopey smile undoubtedly parting your lips.

"i like 'princess' better," you tease between heavy breaths, pressing even closer to him so he can kiss you again. the feel of him, the taste of him, the warmth of his body against yours, is better than you could've expected, and it's so dizzying, you feel like you're floating when he wraps his arms around you and kisses across your face, down your jaw and throat.

matsukawa pulls back barely an inch to look at you and marvel at how pretty you look, the happiest he's ever seen you when just moments before you'd looked like you were on the verge of tears. he grins crookedly, wholeheartedly pleased. he doesn't think he's ever been happier than in this moment, either. "so you like me too, huh?"

you shake your head, let him back you up against the wall again so he can press your hips together easier, one of your legs automatically wrapping around his waist to make more room for him. "issei, i love you." it comes out so naturally, yet so abrupt, like soda shaken up in a bottle.

he groans against your neck at the admission, shifts back up to your face so he can kiss you fully, passionately, greedily. he steals the breath from your lungs, and you can only moan into him, arch into his hold and beg for more, more, more.

you've had a taste, and you're entirely sure you'll never be able to get enough.

you rock against each other, fingers roaming, pulling and pressing, and you think you might be losing your mind in the best way. matsukawa touches you so gently yet so firmly, as if he doesn't want to hurt you but needs to remind you he's there, breathing you in and taking everything you have to give.

you sigh against the side of his jaw, a grin tugging at your lips when you feel his thick fingers drag up your thighs to knead at the flesh of your ass. "take me to bed," you murmur into his skin, and the way you're looking at him, up through your lashes, eyes hooded and swimming with lust as he grinds you down on his thigh, is enough to drive him wild.

matsukawa blinks, mirrors your grin. "fuck, of course, princess."

you're so pleased to hear him call you that again, you kiss it right out of his mouth.

his bedroom is approximately five steps away from the hallway where you are, but it takes you several minutes of stumbling and giggling quietly to navigate it successfully, too caught up in each other to move productively. you're in your own little world, each happily engulfed in a trance that the other has cast on you, only made more intense with each lingering, greedy touch, each kiss, pulling and pushing like magnets.

when you look up again you're on your knees at the edge of matsukawa's bed, helping him out of his hoodie. true to form, he's not wearing anything underneath it, and though you've seen him shirtless dozens of times, it gives you pause.

it's different this time, this close, finally able to touch him the way you would've liked to for so long. this close, with the intensity of his half-lidded gaze on you, following your every move, inspecting your every expression.

"don't be shy now, sweetheart," matsukawa murmurs, and on instinct you cut him a look, which immediately softens when he takes your hands and places them on his chest.

"pretty," you can't help but praise as your hands roam, over the rippling muscle of his chest, his abdomen, coming back up to pinch playfully at his nipples as you catch his lips again in a searing kiss.

"speak for yourself," he says as he backs you into the middle of his bed, trailing his barrage of kisses down your neck, nipping and licking as he goes, making you gasp and whine at the sensations. long fingers slide beneath the waistband of your pants to squeeze ruefully at your ass, the cool metal of his rings making you shiver. he pushes you against his hips, where you can undoubtedly feel his sizable bulge - you can't help but try to grind into the heat of it, and you can feel his lips widen against your skin in response.

you do your best to shimmy your pants down your legs despite him being between them, and he couldn't be happier to help you. he hardly detaches from you as he slips them off and throws them to the side, then pauses to ask your permission before tugging your panties off too, with your enthusiastic 'please'. he doesn't have to ask how far you want to go, sensing how meaningful it must be after so long of pining over each other, because you pull him back to your lips and whisper, "i want you, issei, please," and he swears something else entirely comes over him and drives him wild.

matsukawa no longer has the patience to take the rest of your clothes off, kissing quickly down your body over your shirt to slot himself between your legs. he presses his lips along the inside of your thighs, placing your legs across his shoulders. he groans when he sees how wet you are, when he slides an experimental finger through your folds and a string of your slick connects him to you even when he pulls away. you gasp and arch your back lightly at the contact, fingers clutching at the sheets beneath you.

"such a pretty pussy," he praises, eyes glazed over with lust and pure hunger as he continues to watch his fingers tease you, smacking his lips when he licks them clean and takes his rings off. "just like the rest of you, hm?"

"'sei, please don't tease," you mumble breathlessly, anticipation making your voice tight.

"ah, you've waited long enough, haven't you, princess?" his words alone make you shiver, but then he trails wet kisses closer to your core and you want to cry out. "well, i have, too, and i just want to savor it, you know?" he says it casually, as if he isn't dangling your pleasure over you between those pretty fingers, as if he isn't so close to where you need him that the heat of his breath across your skin as he talks is making you squirm in his hold.

just before you can whine and pull at him in impatience, he chuckles and finally ducks his head to taste you directly.

you gasp when his warm tongue slips through your folds, gathering up your slick for him to swallow up soundly with a satisfied hum that makes you shudder. he finds your clit almost instantly, circling it with the very tip of his tongue and making you buck your hips involuntarily before he's pulling back, just to smile smugly at you.

you don't think he's ever looked better than with his curls mussed by the grip your fingers have them in, his eyes hooded and all sorts of ravenous, his chin glistening with your slick.

matsukawa licks his lips, bites lightly at the flesh of your thigh. "you taste better than i could've imagined," he admits, voice gruff and sending tingles down your spine.

that makes you laugh breathily, only for it to fade into a delicious little moan when he dives back between your legs.

matsukawa eats you out with the same intensity, the same deep, intensive passion, as he had when he finally had the opportunity to kiss you fully, and you don't have to wonder if he'd been waiting to do this, too. his tongue slides into your entrance, coaxing out more of what you have to give him, so deep that his nose nudges your clit and makes you whine. he alternates between sucking wet kisses and messy licks all across every part of your needy pussy, intent only on tasting you and applying pressure, making more and more of a mess that he then happily licks up, and when he isn't satisfied with just that, he pushes his fingers into you, pleased when you can take both digits so quickly, one after another, and grazes his teeth gently along your sensitive bud in wordless praise.

you're gasping his name seemingly endlessly, as if it's the only word you know, your mind all but blank except for thoughts of him, pulling and tugging at the roots of his hair, making him groan into you, the vibrations of his deep voice only fueling your ecstasy. all too soon, you feel the bubble of pleasure in your gut near bursting. matsukawa seems to sense this, and curves his fingers as he thrusts and brushes right into your sweet spot, simultaneously lapping at your aching clit before wrapping his lips around the swollen bud and sucking, hard.

you fall over the edge so abruptly, your vision whites out. your body seizes up, back arched away from the bed, thighs squeezing around his head, a final cry of his name on your lips as pleasure overtakes you.

matsukawa doesn't stop pumping his fingers and licking at your clit. even as your body instinctively wriggles away from sensitivity, he follows you, his mouth riding the waves of your pleasure, the rhythmic grind of your hips, loves the way your walls pulse around his fingers, the way you spill into his palm. he laps up everything he can, only pulling away when you stop moving to watch with wonder as your pussy throbs around nothing in the aftershocks of your orgasm.

he chuckles when he sets your legs back down on the bed and gets a good look at you. "god, you're so fucking beautiful," he says, taking a moment just to stare at you, all wrecked and messy and gorgeous, panting in the middle of his bed with your shirt all askew and exposing your soft stomach, cheeks ruddy and eyes watery and face all fucked out, but a lopsided smile tipping at your lips. it only widens when your lidded gaze follows his hand, still wet from you, as it slips beneath the waistband of his pants, and undoubtedly fists at his cock.

"kiss me," you demand, barely a whisper, and it makes his cock throb in his hand.

matsukawa could never deny you. he surges forward and kisses you, moans into your mouth when your nimble fingers meet his beneath his pants and squeeze at his dick. you hum at the taste of yourself on his tongue, lick it off his lips as you thumb at his slit, share a lopsided grin that he then kisses off your face.

he lets you push him down on the bed then, raises his hips so you can ease his pants down his thighs and off and - he isn't wearing anything underneath that, either, and it doesn't surprise you, but makes you laugh.

when you look up at him again, you nearly salivate and come close to cardiac arrest all at once.

matsukawa's looks have never escaped your notice. as long as you've known each other, before you were even attracted to him, you'd known it as a fact that he was attractive. it was all too easy for him to develop his confidence, just cocky enough not to be completely arrogant but made even more attractive. tall, dark, handsome, and even worse - annoyingly witty - you often wondered how you'd not only harbored feelings for so long, but tolerated him enough to be friends for even longer.

you know him inside out, know him better than most.

but this, this is entirely new to you, though you most definitely see it as a positive now that your relationship has developed.

"issei," you swallow, "you're...big."

as if in response, his cock twitches where it rests against his abdomen, heavy and intimidating, though the swollen tip is leaking invitingly with precum.

matsukawa laughs, and you can't help but watch the way his abs contract with it, his skin glistening with how much he's dripped onto it. "you don't have to take it all, princess." something warm laces through his chest at the fact that you don't seem the least bit daunted, and instead look like you might start drooling. your gaze doesn't stray when he strokes himself once more, mesmerized.

you lick your lips without realizing it. "no," you correct, holding his gaze once more as you reach out to touch him fully, "i want you, issei, all of you."

he doesn't think he's ever heard anything more seductive in his life, more enticing. at that very moment, he thinks, is when he falls irreversibly, as if he wasn't in enough trouble to begin with.

your hand doesn't close around the base of his cock all the way, a fact that makes you shiver. matsukawa watches you closely, eyes glinting with unabashed lust, tongue darting out to lick his lips when you pucker yours, letting a dollop of spit land on the head of his cock. he curses under his breath, clearly barely holding himself together, and an addicting surge of power thrums through your veins.

you use your spit to aid the slide of your fist, up and down his shaft, pausing at the head to thumb at his slit, bending just to press a chaste, although wet, kiss to it before stroking your hand back down, squeezing at the base of him once more.

matsukawa tuts when you pull away. "princess, don't tease me if you don't want me to tease you, too."

you shrug coquettishly, your smile dripping with faux innocence. "it's only okay if i do it, baby."

his grin is nothing short of predatory. he all but pounces on you, grabbing you by the hips and shifting you back onto the bed so he can hover over you.

matsukawa disposes of your shirt so quickly you barely register it happening, and his mouth latches on to your chest instantly, big hands kneading at your breasts as his tongue swirls around your nipples, taking care to lave at them both and suck biting kisses into the swell of your chest. you whine in satisfaction, back arching instinctively to press more of your body into his needy touch, fingers raking through his soft curls only to encourage him.

one of his hands diverts and makes a path down to your stomach, until he's cupping your mons, grinning wickedly when he's reminded of how wet you still are.

matsukawa raises his head from your chest just enough to speak, his breath ghosting over your skin and raising goosebumps. "i'll take care of you, princess," he promises, voice strained. "i'll go slow, get you nice and ready for me."

you make to roll your eyes and tell him to get on with it, but then his fingers slide through your slit once more before slipping back in, with minimal resistance due to his previous work, and you have to bite back a moan instead.

it makes him chuckle, and he sits back on his haunches, gravity pushing you into his lap, thighs spread across his, opening you up to him completely. you can feel his dick brush against the inside of your thigh and can't help but shiver. his free hand glides along your skin appreciatively, squeezing at the supple flesh of your thigh, other fingers still massaging at your walls, scissoring in and out and stretching you wide for him.

matsukawa whistles quietly then, and you cut your eyes at him only to see him eyeing you hungrily and licking his lips. "shit," he murmurs low, dark, and fascinated. "you're gorgeous." he fixates on your pussy, how you suck his fingers in so sweetly, clenching around him as if you want, need something more. "look at you, so needy." and god, did he have exactly what you needed. "my fingers aren't enough for you, huh?" the tips of his fingers nudge into your sweet spot, making you gasp and instinctively grasp his wrist, and he only laughs lowly, doubling down and thumbing at your swollen clit, delighting when you squirm and whine at him.

"i'll give it to you, baby," he says, his voice so soft it almost sounds like he's thinking out loud rather than talking to you. his fingers part from you and he bends to kiss the center of your stomach in a strangely wholesome gesture, then pulls back to press your hips together, his shaft sliding enticingly through your slick, parting your folds. "i'll give you everything."

"o-oh, issei~ !" you keen at the new contact, walls clenching around nothing and what you want most nestled snugly between your legs, so close yet so far.

matsukawa presses himself against you, eyes practically sparkling with glee as he plays with you, as he watches your pretty pussy get even messier, coating his cock as he continues sliding it across you. the swollen head of it catches on your entrance, and he knows the whine you let out at that will be replaying in his head for weeks. he readjusts his grip on your thighs so he can direct your body better, firm though you're squirming so much he has to kiss you over and over in a futile attempt to soothe you (he doesn't think either of you care if it works, just too blissed out and caught up in each other and enjoying every second). when he moves his hips again, he makes sure to brush right against your clit with his cock, an easy feat with how thick he is, and groans into your mouth when your hand snakes between you to keep him there, your hips writhing beneath his, trapped between him and the mattress.

when you break away from his mouth to speak, dazed and pretty, a string of saliva connects you only for him to lick it up greedily. "i need you, issei, please," you nearly beg, thighs squeezing around his hips as if to punctuate yourself. it's music to his ears.

for as much as he seems to be falling apart at the seams, he still has the energy to tease you. "what do you need, princess?" he teases too at your fluttering hole, one large hand guiding his tip to nudge against it, just barely, only for him to shudder at how quickly and easily he can seem to sink into you.

still, he waits right there propped up on an elbow to look directly at you, chest to chest, your arms wrapped tightly across his back and legs spread wide against your bed.

you look like you're on the verge of cursing him out, but oh, he loves it, he loves you, loves that look you get when you're frustrated with him and now that he knows - frustrated but so in love it clouds your supposedly menacing gaze.

you raise one leg up to wrap loosely across his hip and pull him towards you, gasping when it shifts him just that tiny bit with the friction you so desperately need. "please, 'sei," you breathe, softer than anything, and who is he to deny you when you ask so nicely, with that stubborn yet lovestruck look in your pretty eyes?

"sorry to keep you waiting, princess." he says seriously, breathless and just as desperate, pressing his forehead to yours, noses touching together. he taps at your clit just to make you jolt, chuckling at your warning call of his name, before positioning the head of his cock at your entrance once more. "are you ready for me?"

you nod vigorously, managing to breathe out a frantic "yes, yes, god yes," just before his swollen tip sinks into you. your sharp gasp at the stretch makes him bury his face into your neck as he waits for you to grow accustomed to his girth, and he kisses and nips at your skin patiently.

you clutch him tight to you, muscles relaxing slowly with every touch of his lips on your skin, the soothing praise he whispers melting into you as your body molds to his.

"more," you plead after a moment, "more, issei- !"

matsukawa kisses his way up your jaw so he can watch your face again, brushing away hair that's stuck to your dampened forehead so he can see your eyes clearly. "i've got you, baby, you're taking me so well," he inches himself in with a hiss, your walls practically sucking him in, warm and wet and seemingly perfectly molded around his length. "anything you want, it's all yours." he shifts his hips away a bit just to push back in, and with one fluid stroke and a sharp moan escaping you, he's fully sheathed. he kisses across your open mouth, cradles your face with one hand and all the tenderness in the world cupped into his palm. "it's always been yours. i've always been yours."

his words aren't lost on you. staring intently into his eyes, your own start to well up with emotion, and he nudges his nose into yours with a quiet chuckle. you reach up to caress his cheek, heart swelling at the sincerity sparkling in his eyes, the warmth from him that seeps through your entire being and bubbling into pure, unadulterated happiness.

you tilt your head to capture his lips, indulge in his kisses until you're breathless.

when you part for air, it's you who laughs quietly, fingers stroking absently through the soft black curls of his hair. "we could've done this so much sooner," you lament, grinning when he graces you with another swift kiss before pulling back further.

matsukawa smiles, large palms gliding along your thighs and pressing into the plush playfully until he reaches the back of one of your knees and pushes it up against your chest. "trust me, princess," he says with a cocky gleam in his eye that makes you tingle, hips winding back simultaneously as he raises up minutely, "we've got all the time in the world to make up for it."

you're aware of how active he'd been before this, how your mutual friends seemed to speak about him as if he were some kind of sex god, though he'd never disclose any details - but you don't think anything could've prepared you for the depth of his prowess.

matsukawa starts slow and deep, hips rocking rhythmically and drawing back, the pressure and thickness of his cock seeming to reach every sensitive spot inside you. his eyes are glazed over with desire and the overwhelming pleasure you're giving him, but he's somehow still keen on your own pleasure, attuned to your every reaction, every satisfied little sound you make, every clench of your tight little cunt. he observes what you like, what seems to drive you most crazy, gasping and whining and writhing against him, and all but abuses them - nudging up against your sweet spot with the swollen head of his cock, grinding his pelvis intently into your puffy clit, licking at your throat, nipping at your chest.

you reward him with the most beautiful sounds, the sweetest pulls at the roots of his hair that make him fuck into you even harder, his hips moving on their own to drill you down into the mattress, pressed chest to chest with one arm hooked around the back of your knee to keep you opened up for him.

"oh my god, issei," you finally manage when he lets you breathe, panting against his cheek as he peppers kisses across your face all the while.

"feel good, princess?" his voice, smooth yet just the right kind of raspy, breathes right against your ear and makes you shudder pleasantly, arching further into him as his hips press back down. he pulls back a bit to admire you, how beautiful you look all dazed and fucked out, brows furrowed and mouth agape with how good he's making you feel, how you seem to instinctively reach back out for him every time he shifts away even the tiniest bit. at his prompting you nod furiously, seemingly lost for words.

he can't really blame you, because he chooses that moment to rub at your poor, sensitive clit with the rough pads of his fingers, relishing at how your back arches off the bed and you practically claw at his arms.

matsukawa's grin is sinister, teeth bared as he pauses, pulls his hips back a bit to sit back on his haunches and readjust you as if you weigh nothing, hands squeezing appreciatively at your flesh before he positions both your legs over his shoulders once more. "god, i'm gonna fucking ruin you," he bites out, placing a sweetly contradictory kiss to one of your thighs, "gonna mold this pretty pussy to the shape of my cock." he slides his fingers through your folds for emphasis, brushes up against where you're connected and groans at how wet you are, how his digits come away dripping so nicely. "like no one else can, princess." he doesn't miss the way your cunt clenches deliciously around him at his words.

he loves that you can still smirk stubbornly right back at him even in your position folded underneath him. "i'm gonna ruin you for anyone else, too, dummy," you say slyly, reaching up to pull him down to you by the nape of his neck, sighing dreamily when he indulges you with another breathtaking kiss.

he can't help but chuckle, knowing that it's more than true - you wrecked him long before he was even inside you and tasted heaven on your tongue and encased in the sweet velvet of your walls. and he's more than impressed with how eager you are for his mouth despite the awkward angle pushing your legs to your chest in a way he's sure can't be comfortable.

when his dick slides all the way back in to the hilt at this angle, you both gasp at how much deeper it seems, the head of his cock nudging right up against your cervix.

"ohh, fuck, pretty girl, i could die right now you're so fucking perfect," he breathes, like the air has been punched from his lungs, because you're swallowing him right up so perfectly, so snugly, and the base of his cock is rubbing right up against your clit and making you mewl nearly every time he thrusts in. his fingers weave between yours and pin them to the mattress, similarly to how his hips shove yours down into it, steady and unbelievably precise, and the room fills with the obnoxious noises of wet skin slapping against wet skin and the obscene squelch of your cunt sucking him in.

you giggle breathlessly, let go of one of his hands to clutch at the roots of his hair, tilting his head up from where his gaze had been locked on the mess between your bodies so he can look at you instead. "don't die before you make me cum again, issei."

matsukawa swears his heart palpitates at the cocky little smile on your face. you really are perfect - you look like a gorgeously lewd, perfect little angel, dazed and splayed out so delicately in his bed, tits bouncing with every purposeful thrust of his hips, your heavensent, divine pussy sucking him in so perfect, perfect, perfect. that word was made for you, he's so sure of it.

"of course not, angel," he simpers, licking his lips as his gaze rakes over your body. "how many can you take, hm?" one hand still laced with yours, he parts your lips around his dick with his free hand, grinning ruefully when you can only whine instead of answering his question.

he hadn't expected you to, anyway.

matsukawa continues to tease your body and relish in your sweet reactions, never breaking the brutal yet constant pace of his hips thrusting into you. he presses a heavy palm down on your lower stomach and groans from deep in his chest when you clench so nicely for him, whining at the new sensation. "you can feel me there, huh?" he hovers over you, your legs still hooked haphazardly across his shoulders, and kisses at your chest in approval. he marvels at how deep he truly is, carving his cock into you and building up your pleasure and his with every purposeful rock of his hips. he feels goosebumps rise on his skin at the primal, fleeting thought of fucking you full, fucking a baby into you, making you beg for it, needy and desperate. "i fucking love you, baby, taking me so fucking well." he isn't sure he's making much sense, but something comes over him with the sheer bliss he's feeling, and he can't stop talking - and you seem to absolutely love it, keening at every meaningless babble as if his voice is laced with the most addictive substance.

eventually he moves his hand down from your stomach to toy with your poor, puffy clit, smearing your combined juices all along the little bundle of nerves and rubbing vigorously. "cum all over my cock, princess, give it all to me," he all but growls, hips still moving as if on autopilot as he focuses all his attention on your pretty face, intent to watch you come undone.

your jaw locks and a silent scream escapes you as you tip over the edge once more, overwhelmed with pleasure as your orgasm crashes through your body, head to toe. when you have enough air to gasp into your hungry lungs, you can only breathe out a chorus of his name, clutching at his hair and the sheets beneath you, writhing against the mattress with every wave of pure bliss that rolls through you.

matsukawa fucks you through it, dutifully, eagerly. he nearly melts at the happily dreamy look on your face, the charming pinch of your brows and your mouth hanging agape just to chant his name and spur him on - and not to mention, the devastating flutter of your cunt around him, the pulse of your walls pushing out your wetness to coat his cock, the sweet glisten of the skin between your thighs and his shaft.

he's never been more in love. he can't help but think about how lucky he is to be the one making you lose yourself in the best way.

matsukawa stills his hips and kisses you down from your high, your tongues tangling and making a mess of your spit, but neither of you care, too lost in each other.

"keep going," you pant into his mouth, fingers raking through his hair and making him moan in satisfaction as the last few contractions of your orgasm wrack through him in turn. "wanna feel your cum inside me, issei."

matsukawa groans, low and guttural. you say and do the hottest things with such ease it should be illegal. "fuck," he grunts, "i did tell you i'd give you everything, didn't i?" he slips your legs down his shoulders carefully, but presses one to your chest with a large hand on the back of your knee. he repositions himself over you, makes sure you're secure and comfortable before he starts to move again.

this time, his pace is much faster, hyperfocused only on reaching his own peak.

your moans seem to get higher pitched the longer he pistons into the tight wet heat of your cunt, your legs shifting to close around him on instinct - he prevents you with that firm hold on the back of your knee, keeping you splayed open and vulnerable as he happily splits you apart on his cock.

matsukawa bites his lip in concentration, but low, satisfied sounds still escape him, too lost in the sweet vice of your pussy clamped around him to keep quiet.

when you reach up to tug at his hair again, with just the right amount of pressure, he thinks he loses his mind completely.

he only lasts a few valiant, sloppy thrusts, and then he's burying himself into you as deep as he can, his tall frame curling into you instinctively to get as close as possible, your name escaping from deep within his throat, low and lovely. with every sweet pulse of his thick cock he spills inside you, coating your fluttering walls in his seed until it leaks out between you, and you're gasping and shaking lightly at how positively full you feel, warm and more than content to be trapped in his embrace. his hips slow to a sensual grind that makes his pelvis nudge right into your clit, and before you know it, you're teetering excruciatingly slow towards another orgasm, shocked at how eager for it your tired body seems to be, squeezing around his cock - still hard despite how much he seemed to cum - and instinctively pressing closer to him.

matsukawa buries his face into the crook of your neck as he comes down, breathing heavy, arms wrapped tight around your waist. after a moment he turns you both on your side because he has half a mind not to crush you, and you giggle breathlessly, fingers soothing at his scalp. "fuuuuuck," he groans against your heated skin, drawn out on a long breath. "you're insane." he chuckles to himself, all too pleased.

you scoff, shifting so you can face him. you're so close you can see how much his pupils have dilated, the black nearly swallowing the entirety of his irises, and you wonder vaguely if yours are the same, if the emotion bursting from your slightly heaving chest is any indication. "says the one who's still hard." you clench around him for emphasis and he grunts as his cock twitches inside you, a large hand smacking lightly at your ass in admonishment.

"don't start something you can't finish, princess." that crooked grin is back, that addictingly smooth lilt of his voice.

instantly you're more energized, spurred on by his challenging tone, absolutely insatiable, and you mirror his smirk. "who says i can't finish?" you pull away from him, whining a little at the loss of his heat and the dull pressure of his cock plugging your releases. it leaks slowly out of you and along your still-wet inner thighs, but in another instant matsukawa's thick fingers are there, smearing it into your folds and making more of a mess of you.

you push his probing hand away so you can roll on top of him, and his grin widens when he figures out what you're doing and lays back comfortably with an arm tucked behind his head, those half-lidded eyes watchful, anticipating.

you don't miss the delicious flex of his bicep, the way that position emphasizes his arms and broad chest.

you lean in just to kiss him as you straddle his hips, his free hand squeezing at your thigh and gliding up your body to rest at the curve of your waist, his thumb soothing at your skin. you line him up to your entrance once more, and with your pleased little gasp, he slides in with hardly any resistance to speak of.

"that's it, beautiful," matsukawa rumbles, and with your hands braced on his chest you can feel his deep voice vibrate through you, and it makes you shiver. "you're so pretty like this." he says it softly, reverently, and your back arches a little bit more as if on instinct, preening with his praise.

you grin, sinking down all the way and humming in satisfaction along with him. you circle your hips, leaning down to kiss him, one hand on his chest and the other on the side of his face, caressing his cheek as he lets your tongue delve into his mouth, content to let you take the lead.

if he were honest, he'd let you do anything you wanted to him.

and he can't wait to explore that with you.

you lick up the line of spit that connects you when you pull back, raising your hips simultaneously and gasping against his cheek when you shift back down. his cock throbs deep inside you, every ridge and vein massaging at your walls so nicely every time you move, slow and purposeful.

"fuck, 'sei," you whine as you ride him with abandon, chasing the friction, the pure, liquid pleasure he's giving you, all but bouncing in his lap - to his clear delight. his eyes shine with mirth, darting across your every feature and leaving none without his attention. matsukawa groans in response, no longer lax and content to just admire you as you work yourself over him, sitting up to toy with your body, his hands now occupied with your breasts. he squeezes them together, pinching and licking at your nipples just to make you whimper and clutch at his wrists, back arching to push more of your flesh into his eager mouth.

matsukawa kisses his way up from your chest, where he's left his own pretty roses scattered across your skin, and starts sucking on your throat. you gasp when you feel his teeth glide across your pulse, shuddering and tugging on the hair at the back of his head. he chuckles against your jaw, big hands digging into the supple flesh of your ass to aid your movements.

"issei, i'm-" he interrupts you with a lick to your bottom lip, laughing softly at how quickly you respond, head tilting to follow his mouth when he pulls away.

"what is it, baby?" he asks, though he knows, can feel it in the way you clench around his dick, the tension pulling your muscles taut and making your pace stutter.

"'m close," you manage between kisses when he realizes he can't stay away from your mouth, either, and gives you what you want. "gonna cum, make me cum, issei please, i need to- oh-!"

matsukawa interrupts you again, this time by planting his feet on the mattress and thrusting up into you. he grips your thighs and slams you down onto his cock simultaneously, and your hair flies when you throw your head back with a deeply satisfied, high pitched moan. his grin is feral - he's addicted to the way you fall apart just for him, losing yourself again on his cock, tits bouncing with each brutal thrust he rewards you with for your pretty, shaky moans.

your fingers paw sloppily at your clit as you tumble over the edge once more, and he does his best to prolong your orgasm, but he only lasts a few messy thrusts himself before giving in and pumping you full again, unable to resist the tantalizing flutter of your walls around him.

matsukawa shoves his pulsing dick inside you as deep as he can and stills, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you tight to him, unconcerned that you're both sweaty and trembling and have a mess slowly spreading between you, both of you coming apart in your bliss yet coming together in the middle, tethering each other in your embrace. you hold him just as firmly, fingers dug into his soft curls, chest pressed to his and swooning all over again when you feel his heartbeat against your own, rattling around erratically in your ribcage as you come down from your devastating high, struggling to catch your breath.

soon enough, laughter bubbles up in his chest, shaking you both lightly. you giggle along with him, pinching playfully at his arm when he kisses your cheek and tells you, low and breathless, "i swear you're trying to kill me, princess."

"we should probably clean up," you suggest, laying your head on his shoulder and admittedly making no other move to do so.

"yeah, just..." matsukawa just stares at you for a long moment, a tender little half-smile adorning his lips, so small yet so bright - it lights up his whole face, makes his eyes sparkle and his skin glow, and you don't think he's ever looked more handsome. your heart does somersaults. "give me a second." his hand comes up to your face, thumb stroking your cheek, tracing the seam of your lips and making you smile against the pad of it. almost as if on instinct you kiss at his thumb, and his grin widens, because he thinks he sees everything he's ever wanted in your eyes.

you sigh dramatically when you feel more of your combined juices leak out of you and you suddenly feel unbearably sticky. "come on, issei, you can make googly eyes at me in the bath," you gripe, and peck at his lips before disentangling your sore limbs from his and moving to sit up.

matsukawa just laughs and does his best to help you out, because he can't argue.

but just because you ruined that tender moment prematurely, he thinks he'll do more than that in the bath.

[black00olive]

The Right Words

A/N: This was supposed to be just a little thing about Satan writing a love letter to but it quickly ended up spiralling into somewhat of an analysis of Satan's feelings towards you (take that very lightly as a lot of this is just made up of vibes). Also, the "you" isn't a completely blank slate as I did base some of it off of my own MC and all that (that's where most of the canon divergence comes from). I have never written a love letter before, so pls don't bash me for my love letter writing skills. It was also pretty challenging to write something from Satan's POV since he's a lot more sophisticated than I am Lol. In any case, hope you enjoy :3

Pairing: Satan x Reader

Wordcount: ~3,900 words

Summary: Writing should come easy to Satan, he’s practically read every book in existence and written several pieces before. Yet, when it comes to him writing a love letter to you he finds himself completely stuck. None of the words seem right and nothing he’s written seems to fully describe his feelings for you. As he stares at the blank piece of paper in front of him, his mind wanders and he starts to reminisce about how he developed these feelings for you in the first place.

Reading, and the absorption knowledge in-and-of-itself, was a core part of who Satan was. “He was the nerd of the family,” that’s what his idiot of a brother, Mammon, had claimed— said idiot of a brother had quickly learnt to not say such things about him, but that was neither here nor there. Some other core parts of who he was were his love of cats (though in his opinion everyone should love them, and those who didn’t were wrong), how well-connected he was with high society, and lastly his wrath— though he works hard to contain that one. Overall, he was a classy and upstanding demon. Further, if you were to ask someone, or even him, to describe himself they would most likely use words such as knowledgeable, polite, respectable, and intelligent.

In layman’s terms: Satan was smart and cool.

That’s why he’s so confused as to why he was finding himself hunched over his desk hopelessly writing his 34th love letter to you. Furthermore, why was a well-read demon like him unable to find the right words? He was finding that no words could even begin to describe the feeling aching in his chest, and he knew his way with words.

Satan was no Asmodeus, he doesn’t have a different demon (or demons) in his bed each week. He doesn’t have a list of ex-lovers so long he could wrap himself up in it, twice, nor does he flirt with every demon that even so much as glances at him. However, that doesn’t mean Satan is completely inexperienced; he has had lovers before, has lain with others a couple of times, and even made several of his high-society acquaintances through waxing poetries at them. He is quite good with that last one, he’s made many demons swoon with just his words and been told that he has quite the silver tongue. Yet all words seem to escape him when faced with you. He could repeat the same words that had made so many demons before you fall to their knees, but…

Even those sentences couldn’t even begin to encompass all that you are, and all that he feels for you. You deserved more than some half-hearted words that he had just uttered to get what he wanted. You were so much more than any of those words, as well. The entirety of his being was consumed by you. The way you spoke, the way your eyes would crinkle when you laughed at an especially humourous joke, the way your eyes sparkled once you came across something that caught your interest. Your smile, your bravery, your sarcasm, your kindness, your cockiness, your somewhat childish humour, and even your cruelty. Each and every little thing about you made him erupt in emotions that he had previously only read in books. None of the books could compare to the all-encompassing feeling it truly was.

Satan stares at the paper in front of him with a clenched jaw and lets out a disgruntled huff. Letting go of his pen (he really should loosen his hold, it might break and with the rate he’s going he won’t have any left before he finishes a writing something he’s even somewhat content with) and crumpling up the piece of paper, he then chucks it to the pile of other love letters— none of which had come out like he had wanted—, and he starts anew.

It’s a little silly, he thinks, that things ended up like this. When you had first been chosen as the exchange student Satan hadn’t cared, rather he had found himself a little annoyed. It would be incredibly inconvenient to live in the same house as a human, especially with how Lucifer had hounded them to “be more careful” and “suppress” themselves a little more around you. So in the beginning he had kept his distance from you. He had better things to do than to entertain a “dumb” human like you, humans are just a bunch of useless trouble anyway. He cringes at what he had thought of you in the beginning.

He isn’t sure when his feelings for you first started changing from mild annoyance to something else (that’s a lie, he remembers the moment vividly, but sometimes he questions if his thoughts about you had shifted earlier and he just hadn’t noticed). Perhaps it was when you first got your pact with Mammon, just a day after first being summoned. While Satan would be the first to admit that his brother is a complete idiot that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s the second most powerful of them, a student council officer on top of that, so for an ordinary human to manage to form a pact with him so quickly was definitely intriguing. At the time he thought you would stop at that, but you didn’t. Instead you decided to compete against Levi in a competition, a quiz to see who was the biggest The Seven Lords fan at that. A fool’s errand, Satan would have said if you had asked him at the time. Yet you seemed determined to actually win.

He had heard that humans often had a lot of audacity but he would have thought that even the dumbest human could tell that they had no chance of winning. Levi was older than you could even rationalise in your limited human mind, and he had spent a good portion of that time consuming any sliver of TSL media. You must have known that, right? No, Satan knows you knew that, you are a lot smarter than he had ever given you credit for in the past, yet despite that you were still determined to go through with the competition. He supposes it was that reckless determination that had fascinated him enough to tell you to seek out Simeon to help you win. You hadn’t won but you did end up forming a pact with Levi later that same day.

It is that same reckless determination that he loves and hates, it both causes him anguish and makes him admire you. It was that same reckless determination that made you protect both Beel and Luke from Lucifer that day Luke entered the underground tomb and had taken The Grimoire. He had not been there while it had happened, but he had heard. At the time it had amused him how you had stood against Lucifer, now it makes him wish you didn’t disregard your life as much as you had done in the first couple of months of your stay. You already have such a short life, you shouldn’t cut it even shorter… Satan cuts off that thought right there and crumples up the paper in front of him before he places a new one in its place.

He hadn’t believed Asmo when he had said you had been able to coax out more power in him than Solomon ever had. At the time he had just assumed it was Asmo getting too excited over a new “play-thing” (his lip curls up at that, he hates calling you such demeaning things) and was over exaggerating as he usually does.

Yet, Lucifer was wary of you. That meant something because as much as Satan hates to admit it there are very few things that Lucifer can’t handle. During that time Satan had only focused on the fact that you bothered him, and you forming pacts with his brothers bothered him even more. To former him, it was very clear as to what he needed to do. In the present, however, Satan thinks it was foolish of him to be so willing to give away his autonomy just to get under Lucifer’s skin. It was also said foolishness of him that led him to almost kill you when you had rejected his request to form a pact. Satan can feel himself start to frown at the memory of him threatening to tear you limb from limb. He had been so enraged by the thought of a simple human being the one to reject him, that an ordinary human— who didn’t even have the capabilities to use magic— would think themselves better than him, the Avatar of Wrath. The current Satan could never even imagine himself saying something so vile and hateful to you, but at that moment he had been fully ready to go through with the threats. For once in his life, he’s glad Lucifer had stepped in and stopped him.

Then, in spite of the threats, you were still willing to help Lucifer and his relationship (though Satan also has the sneaking suspicion that a big portion of the reason you wanted to help was because you had grown tired of their arguing, especially while sleeping in your room). Arguably, transporting them into, at the time had seemed like, a dating sim wasn’t the best plan but you still tried to make the best out of the situation. It’s cliché, but he can still remember your words from the evening before they were supposed to “profess their love” with vivid clarity because, admittedly, Satan believes it was then he first started developing these feelings for you.

You had asked to speak with him after he had apologised for dragging you into the whole mess. “You don’t have to force yourself to like someone you don’t. Lucifer doesn’t see you as a child as much as you think, he only wants to look good in front of Diavolo as his number two,” is what you had told him. The first part stuck with him, is still stuck with him if Satan is going to be truly honest. Such a simple concept, that you don’t have to like someone. One that he had come across in his books several times before you had even been a thought in the universe. Despite that, when you had said it to him in your typical bold fashion it was as if it was the first time he’d heard of the mere prospect. Like a fog that had swallowed his brain was finally cleared. Satan believes that if you were to ask Levi to describe it, he would say something along the lines of: “he finally reached a high enough level to unlock the ability to understand secret texts.”

Your very simple words had given him a shocking amount of things to contemplate, even more so when the whole situation with Grisella’s death on the train. Her perspective of it not mattering what hand fate deals you but how you deal with it along with yours had made him come to the realisation that he can never go back and change the circumstances of his birth. However, he can choose how to live his life and that has nothing to do with Lucifer. Because he’s not him. It was such a simple answer to an issue that had been plaguing him ever since he was born, and he’s sure that he was only able to find the answer because of you (irregardless of how much you’d like to claim that you didn’t much of a part in his discovery).

Then after the whole fiasco of Lucifer and him switching bodies you had finally accepted his request to form a pact with you. Satan feels his fingertips graze over where his pactmark sits on your body as he smiles. A pact, something that connects the two of you on a much deeper level than any piece of metal exchanged in a ceremony ever could, not that he wouldn’t mind being bonded to you in such a way though. A pact, something akin to an invisible string that ties the two of you together; a string that pulls him to you constantly (he wonders if you feel the same pull), a string that makes him share your pain, a string that binds the two of you together until the day you die.

Perhaps even longer, Satan thinks as his eyebrows furrow and he feels his whole body tense, because you did die. He had felt the tightness in his neck, his brothers had as well— the brothers that had formed pacts with you at that point at least— and they had all ran to the foyer where they had found you along with their youngest brother but it was in a situation Satan is sure he’ll never get out of his mind. Mammon had been the first to move, he had ran to you and had clutched your dying body in his arms. Satan curses his past self for not doing the same. He curses himself for just standing there, watching helplessly, as your pain coursed through his body in pulses. In rhythm with your dying heart. He should have joined in as his brothers started to yell at their youngest, he’s the Avatar of Wrath. However, in that moment, despite having watched countless of humans die before you— being the cause to some of them— he had never in his life felt more lost. Yet, you came back. Satan had watched as you stepped out of the shadows and as you, the one in Mammon’s arms, had slowly fade into nothingness. He had stood just watching as you revealed the truth about Lilith and your relation to her. The he had continued to simply watch as the rest of his brothers had all started hugging you. When he looks back on it, he hadn’t done much but watch during the whole incident. It had weighed heavy on his heart ever since and he had vowed to never be so complacent when you’re in danger.

Then after the whole incident his brothers and him had gone on to do something that he now realises (thanks to you) was incredibly foolish. What number was he of foolish things he’d done in regards to you now? Satan is quite shocked that despite every foolish thing he and his brothers have done you’re still willing to put up with them. Not just that, but you’re willing to love them. Despite the fact that they had foolishly tried to pretend like you hadn’t died that night and that everything was fine. Despite the fact that because of their own denial they had neglected to check if you were okay after you had just died. Despite the fact that they had pushed the responsibility of mending their relationships onto you once more while you were trying to deal with your own whirlwind of emotions over your own death. Despite all of it, you still chose to love them. Satan doubts they’ll ever be worthy of that, of your love, of you. Rightfully, you had called them out on their shameful behaviour.

That evening when you had told them off for down-right ignoring your death Satan believes he fell for you completely, body and— if he had been a human— soul. The green wrath that surrounded you that night was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. His sin engulfing you and the tendrils of it ebbing throughout the dining hall. You had been stewing in this anger for quite a while, he had concluded that evening, because the wrath flowing off of you was so strong. Intoxicating, almost. He had never seen you that angry before, you were usually very good at keeping calm. Of course, you got annoyed and irritated a few times but nothing to that degree. He had needed to stab his fork into his thigh to maintain even some semblance of composure, to not transform fully. As you were berating them he had found it hard to breathe with how your wrath was overwhelming all of his senses, much like how his love is for you nowadays. It was also that evening where Satan finally realised that the seeds of you had fully bloomed into a garden and grown roots in his heart, and he wasn’t willing to rip them out. He loved you, he realised, as much as you’d like to say it wasn’t possible to love someone after such a short period of time he knew he loved you and he’d never love another.

Truthfully, he feels a little bashful admitting that he had only realised he loved you when you were taken over by his sin and insulting them for their poor decision making in deciding to ignore your death, but he was going to be honest with you. You had once said that you value honesty a lot, and he’d give you anything you wanted— no matter what it was; whether it be all the riches in the world, someone’s head, or even the crown to a country. He’d give it to you— and you had wanted his honesty so he’ll give it.

The days following your outburst his eyes could not leave you, as much as he had wanted them to (you were still mad at him, he had yet found the words for the apology you deserved; by simply just existing you tend to render him speechless). He started to notice every little thing about you, your routines, your habits, your ticks, your quirks. Each thing made him fall deeper and deeper in love with you. Even in his lonesome he couldn’t escape you. In every book he’d find you, usually taking shape as the love-interest as he immersed himself in a world where he was that book’s protagonist. In his dreams the two of you would go on adventures, ranging from simple dates on the beach to travelling to different human-world countries. Even when he was out shopping he’d find himself reminded of you from various trinkets and thinking of what clothes or foods or various other goods you’d like. A few times while passing more risky stores that he’d commonly find Asmo browsing, he couldn’t help his mind from wandering to things he would one day like to see you in (if you were comfortable with it, of course. You and your comfort take precedence over everything else).

Eventually he had found the words and given you an apology for how he’d behaved, not even just regarding your death but prior to that as well, and you had accepted it. As the relationship continued to grow as had his feelings. He was no longer simply “in love” with you, but rather he felt something much more intense, overwhelming, and ineffable. Satan supposes that’s why he can never seem to find any words that seem fitting enough for you or the love he holds for you.

Combining his fingers through his hair, Satan sighs as he leans back in his chair. He had set out to write a love letter to you, yet all he’s done so far is reminisce over how his feelings developed for you over the course of your stay. He looks down at the paper in front of him and gently glides his fingers over the words. He isn’t even fully sure why he’s writing this to you. Right, because you valued honesty. The paper starts to lightly shake and Satan realises it’s because his hands are trembling. How humiliating, he’s the Avatar of Wrath, 4th most powerful lord of the underworld, yet the idea of giving you a love letter is what makes him tremble. What if you don’t reciprocate his feelings? His mind starts to doubt, but he forces himself to calm down. Even if you don’t feel the same he will continue to love you and stay by your side. His feelings for you will never change nor waver, he’s sure of that, and for as long as you’ll allow him he’ll stay right by your side.

The Love Letter:

My Dearest,

Recently my thoughts have been drawn irresistibly to you, while that in-and-of-itself isn’t uncommon I find that now it’s become unbearable to simply keep them to myself. So, here I am penning my deepest affections for you as I find myself reminiscing over our shared past. Once, I recall you had told me that you value honesty, so I shall be fully honest with you as I write this. When you had first been summoned I had not thought much of you. I had assumed that you wouldn’t have survived to the end of the exchange year. Yet, you did, technically. However, you didn’t just survive, you managed to thrive. You subverted every last one of my expectations and I found myself growing more and more affection towards you. Now, you’ll be leaving and returning to the human world in a couple of days and I would forever regret it if I didn’t disclose my feelings to you at least once before you leave.

I love you, truly and deeply. From your courage to your kindness as well as your defiance, you have ensnared my heart in ways I never thought possible. You consume my every waking thought and even as I sleep I still find you in every one of my dreams. You’ve seen the depths of my fury, the intensity of my wrath, been victim to my thoughtlessness, and yet, you remain. You choose to stay by me regardless. You’ve awakened emotions in me that I had once only read within the pages of my books. Love, trust, and a tenderness that shouldn’t be possible of the Avatar of Wrath. I find myself yearning for even a moment of your attention, a quick glance or wave as you pass me through the halls. With you, I am not just Satan, the Avatar of Wrath, but something more, something much bigger; a being capable of deep, profound love.

There is not a moment that goes by in which I don’t adore you. Each day I find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with you and all of your quirks. From your beautiful eyes, which seem to invariably lure me in, to your laughter that, like a melody, pierces through the cacophony of my existence, bringing a sense of peace I never knew I craved. And your touch, gentle and reassuring, has the power to calm the raging storm within me. Your endless curiosity makes me remember the beauty of learning and of our world. Your reckless bravery, however with that one I wish you would rely on me more. You don’t have to deal with everything by yourself. Even the traits that humans tend to label as bad I find myself loving; your sarcasm, your stubbornness, your cockiness, your selfishness, and your impulsivity. I even find myself loving your pure cruelty, however rare that one is.

Know this, my beloved, my heart, once a vessel of only wrath, now beats with an ardent longing for you. It would no longer be right to call it mine for it seems to be filled solely with you. I am yours, wholly and completely, bound by a love that transcends the very fabric of our existence. No matter what your response is, trust that I will stay by your side for as long as you let me; whether that be as a friend or as a lover. Either way, I will love you until the end of eternity.

Forever, and always, yours,

Satan

[blasphemous-lies-and-deceit]

“I need a place to stay.”

“I need a place to stay.”

Those were the first words Michael had uttered in hours. He had been sitting near-comatose in the corner of Jon's office ever since they'd both stumbled free from the Distortion's Halls, unmoving and unresponsive until now. Jon started in surprise, completely unprepared to hear those words come from Michael's mouth, sounding so hollow and tired. He completely understood the feeling.

"Right," he sighed in agreement, before he paused awkwardly. "I, ah...may also be short on...accommodations. I was, I was in hiding before the Circus kidnapped me, and now...I don't know."

Michael laughed, short and sharp and nothing like how he had sounded before. "Great," he groaned, shoving his tangled hair back and rubbing at his forehead with both hands. "That's great." He had a headache, Jon knew- Knew, a headache he'd been suffering from ever since he'd stepped through the Distortion's door so many years ago. Jon could almost feel it in his own head, aching and heavy, and cracked his neck to try to alleviate it. He was...quite stiff, he realized, and quickly pushed that thought from his mind.

"There's a cot in Document Storage," he offered weakly, and Michael stopped massaging his head to squint up at him irritably.

"I won't fit on that," he snapped sullenly. "I...fuck." He winced suddenly, flinching quite violently. "I shouldn't know that," Michael muttered to himself. "I shouldn't know- I think the Distortion has been spying on you."

"That...makes sense," Jon conceded. Who knew what else had eyes in the Archives watching him. The flash of horribly familiar paranoia made his stomach turn and skin crawl, sparking a desperate urge to be out of the Institute before he did something drastic. "I'm booking us a hotel room," he decided firmly. "And I'm expensing it to the Institute."

"That'll show them," Michael encouraged half-heartedly. Jon busied himself with making the arrangements, while also thinking about what other arrangements he needed to make. Michael had nothing but the clothes on his back and the trauma that his twisted counterpart had inflicted on him. Was he still tied to the Institute, after what had happened? God, was he now another Assistant Jon now had to look out for? He'd already gone through hell and been betrayed by one Archivist, how could he stand to work with Jon, if that was even what he wanted? Had he just gone from one torturous hell prison to another?

Jon couldn't fathom what he could do about that.

A round of calls and an awkward ride share later, Jon realized he'd been a bit too hasty in booking a room. "What do you mean, there's only one bed?" he demanded. The tired and harried-looking desk manager just gave him a blank look.

"That's all that's available tonight, I'm sorry," she said, completely insincerely. "You can try somewhere else, but at this time of night they'll probably all be booked."

"It's fine, Jon," Michael spoke up, hunched over the counter and head hanging low, hair spilling messily around his face. "Just take the room." Jon was so put off that he almost didn't notice that Michael had called him by name for the first time, because he sounded so profoundly and plainly miserable. He swallowed down his reservations and confirmed their reservation for the room instead.

The room was, as expected, small, and did contain only one bed. Michael sat on it listlessly, eyes unfocused and drifting away. "I, uh, I'd like to use the shower first," Jon said lamely, and received only a nod of acknowledgement. Michael's behavior, or lack thereof, was concerning, but so were so many other things, like the Unknowing, and finding answers to his millions of questions, and the heavy layer of lotion all over him.

Jon fought to remain calm as he showered, he really did. He should be enjoying the feeling of warm water running over him, cleaning his skin, but the layered-on oils were difficult to wash off, even with the tiny bar of soap the hotel provided. Choking back the noises trying to claw out of his throat, Jon scrubbed harder, making his skin burn and chafe, his muscles protesting the harsh movements. But it was working, his skin was free of that awful heavy sensation, and it almost felt good, after so much cooling softness. God, he never wanted to feel the touch of lotion against his skin ever again.

"Michael?" he called as he left the bathroom, shivering in the cold air, shoulders exposed by the towel he had wrapped around his chest. "Shower's free, if you'd like-"

He stopped when he found that the room seemed alarmingly empty. Jon's knees nearly gave out in surprise, stumbling into the doorframe as his eyes flew around the room. He breath caught in relief when he caught sight of Michael, crammed in the small space between the wall and the single bed, limbs sticking out jarringly, face hidden in a pillow clutched in his arms.

"Michael?" Jon asked as gently as he could. "Are you...what's wrong?"

"Walls," Michael gasped, muffled by the pillows. "They're too- it was...I don't know where- I can't, I can't, it's too big, there's nowhere I can, I can't-"

He sounded so panicked, so desperate and terrified. Jon hesitated, then stepped forward and crouched next to him, careful of the drape of the towel around his body. Bracing himself and pushing down his own awkwardness, he reached out and took one of Michael's dangling hands in his own uninjured one. It didn't feel the way it had before, or the way that...that Sasha had described it in her statement. It was a perfectly ordinary hand, slightly cold and a bit thin, but utterly normal and human. Just like the rest of Michael.

Michael had tensed sharply when he took his hand, but quickly deflated, turning his head free of the pillow to look towards Jon with red-rimmed eyes. "Your hands-" he stopped to swallow thickly. "They're not...they didn't lotion those?"

"No," Jon confirmed, nearly choking on a very inappropriate chuckle. "No, they didn't, I don't think they were going to...use them." God, that was awful, it was absurd, but he couldn't stop the strained laughter that kept breaking loose from his chest, unstoppable and inappropriate. A single tear slipped down his cheek before he roughly swiped it away with his free hand. He shouldn't be laughing, he shouldn't be caught up in his own horror when Michael had gone through far worse than him, and for much longer. But he couldn't stop.

Michael was watching him with eyes that were unfathomably deep, like they could swallow him whole. Jon wondered, near hysterically, if one could get lost in the eyes of the former Distortion, or whatever Michael was now. But he was not a threat, he reminded himself as Michael unfurled from his tight crouch and crept closer to him. All of that rage and betrayal was nowhere to be seen, for now. He wondered where it had gone.

Keeping hold of his hand, Michael stretched his other arm out and slung it over Jon's shoulders, pulling him in until they were both crumpled together, like two fallen walls of a demolished building. He sighed, and it stirred in the drying strands of Jon's hair. "What are we going to do now, Archivist?" he asked, hollow and empty again. His abrupt turn of terrified energy seemed to have dissipated for now, gone along with Jon's own panic. Which was the intention of his pathetic attempt at comfort, just not quite like this.

"You can call me Jon," Jon answered, unable to stop himself from leaning into Michael's side. Michael was leaning just as heavily on him, his long tangled curls draping over his bare shoulder, and he didn't hate it. "Please don't call me Archivist anymore."

Michael sighed again, harsh and painful. "I'll try," he whispered. "Its still in my head, it still wants to-" he cut himself off, which Jon was grateful for. "No. No. You're Jon. You've done me no wrong. You heard my story. You...you know now."

"I do." Like Martin, like...like Sasha, he knew Michael now, Knew him, had his statement on tape and seared into his mind and heart. He didn't understand what that meant, not yet, not fully, but it meant...something. "I...I'm sorry. About everything."

"Yeah." Michael's hand flexed in his, then settled. "So am I, Archi- Jon. Jon. I'm sorry."

They were such small words, but meant so much. They could be lies, but after hearing his statement, after seeing him fall apart, Jon didn't believe they were. Michael was no longer the Distortion, he had no reason to lie. Jon had to learn to trust, somehow, and who better to start with than someone who had been so betrayed? Michael pressed his head down, resting his cheek on top of Jon's head, and Jon closed his eyes, leaning into Michael's warmth. What else was there to do?

[legiblyloathed]

Ain’t He Darling? (Chapter 2)

Yandere! Wally Darling x Reader

A/N: This has gone from a oneshot to a twoshot to what’s now shaping up to be at least a five chapter story and for that I apologize. The “date” with Wally was only meant to be half a chapter and now it’s a full one. I will, in fact, learn nothing from this and will continue to accidentally increase my workload in the future. Many thanks for the kind comments on chapter 1, and I hope you enjoy chapter 2!

People who requested to be tagged; @whynot5243 @tikosan @itsyellow @twerkingnutella18 @azoart Y’all keep me going, I wish you the best.

Prev ——— Next

You know, maybe it was hasty to imagine Wally killing me as the worst case scenario. I think I’d take getting murdered in the woods over the uncomfortable silence I’ve been stewing in all afternoon.

Or at least, the silence is making me uncomfortable. Ever since I dragged myself out of the house to paint with him like I promised, I’ve spent damn near every minute avoiding eye contact like it’d kill me. Not that it seems to be working, as every time I glance up from my painting, I can see him out of the corner of my eye, and without fail he’s always focused on me. How he’s managed to finish his own drawing in between these moments is beyond me, but the way the easels are laid out, I can’t see his canvas anyway. There’s every chance it’s blank, and he just coerced me out here to stare at me without interruption.

But now, the sky is shifting to a myriad of colors, and I send up a silent thank you to the heavens for the excuse to leave. “Well, this has been fun,” I start, wiping the excess paint on my hands onto the apron he loaned me. “But I don’t wanna have to walk home in the dark, so I’d best be off.”

“It has been fun, hasn’t it?” After who knows how long of complete silence, his voice makes me jump slightly. Wally takes a few slow, measured steps in my direction, stopping just a little too close to my personal bubble. His eyes glued to my messy painting of the woods, and his eternal smile seems to widen. “You’re good at this.”

I manage to let out a laugh. “Not really, but I appreciate it.” I glance over my own art at the back of his easel, morbid curiosity eating away at me. As much as I want to see what the resident weirdo drew when he wasn’t trying to burn a hole in my forehead, something tells me it’s better not to know.

Wally’s head turns slightly, following my gaze to his own artwork. “Oh, do you want to see mine?” he asks, not waiting for my answer as he walks over and grabs it off the easel. He stares down at it for a moment, as if ensuring its quality, then turns it around and holding it up for me to see. “I worked hard on it. What do you think?”

Upon examination, I think I should have chosen a different neighborhood to move into, one with less terrifying residents. Staring back at me is a portrait of none other than myself. I’m sitting on a bench, which, after a moment, I recognize as the one under the apple tree where Wally had been the day prior. I look relaxed, leaning back and resting my weight on my hands behind me, my attention drawn to something off to the right. As I scan it over, I note that I wasn’t drawn with the clothes I wore today, but the ones I had on yesterday, down to finest of details. It’s beautiful, and I hate it.

I’m left frozen in place, gawking at the perfect recreation of my likeness in silence. The man doesn’t seem to mind, content to let me take in the details of his piece as he in turn observes my reaction. When I manage to pull my attention back to his face, I stammer out, “That’s…” A hell of a red flag? My worst nightmare on a canvas? A fear I’d have deemed laughable before this moment? “…incredibly realistic.”

Wally turns the painting back to himself, looking down at it with an air of fondness. “I suppose it is. I can’t take all the credit, though.” His eyes look up at me, his head unmoving. “I had a very inspiring model.”

At this, I can feel the two sides of my brain start to feud. The optimistic side makes a good effort to insist that this explains the staring, that he just wanted to get the details right and I was wrong to treat it like a problem. The more realistic side then slaps the optimistic side upside the head and points out that no amount of staring could explain the sheer level of detail in clothes that I’m not even wearing today.

My thoughts continue to conflict with each other, the turmoil so strong that I don’t even register Wally getting closer until he’s barely a foot away from me. I jolt back, nearly falling over. He seems unbothered. “Say, neighbor, would you mind helping me carry all this back to Home? The paintings are delicate, I don’t want them getting crushed.”

Part of me really wants that painting getting crushed, but I don’t dare admit that out loud. Instead, I nod. “Alright, but we gotta hurry. It’ll be dark soon.” Already the sun is casting long shadows, obscured by the trees to the west. Wally and I pack up the paints and fold up the easels, and I balance them all in my arms while he holds the canvases to his chest. Together, the two of us set off towards the house in the center of the neighborhood.

No words are exchanged as we journey through the town. He seems content with the silence, and I’m content to not have to talk to him. It seems the rest of our neighbors have called it a day, Wally and I being the only two people out and about. The weight of the supplies makes my arms ache, but if the alternative is carrying a piece of art that feels just a little too haunted for my taste, I think I can tolerate the discomfort. I don’t know how the hell he managed to drag all of this junk out in the first place.

The sun has sunk down past the horizon by the time we make it to Home, painting the sky a myriad of purples and deep blues. It takes all I have left in me not to collapse upon the porch, made all the worse by Wally’s continued nonchalance as he opens the door and beckons me inside. I brush past him into the living room, dumping my armload of supplies onto the coffee table. With a weary huff, I throw myself down onto his couch to catch my breath, my eyes drooping shut.

“You feeling alright, there, neighbor?” The sofa sinks ever so slightly as he settles down beside me. When I don’t reply, too busy staring at my eyelids and regulating my heartbeat, he speaks with what almost feels like genuine concern, “If you were getting tired, you should have spoken up. I’d have been happy to take a break.”

I shake my head. “Fine, I’m fine. Just need a minute before I head home.”

There it is again, that damn laugh. “What do you mean? This is Home.” The sound of a door squeaking registers in my periphery, and I let my eyes open, squinting against the bright colors of his house. I take a glance out of the corner of my eye, and sure enough, his own are glued on my face with a smile that registers as a little too suspicious for my tastes.

An increasingly familiar sense of unease overtaking me, I push myself up and lean away from him, hoping he didn’t notice, yet knowing he did. “I mean yeah, it’s your home, Wally,” I say, “but I have my own home to get back to.”

He lets out a soft hum, and I swear his smile wavers for just a moment. “I suppose you do,” he murmurs, sounding like he was talking to himself more than me. Risking another glance, I’m surprised to see his eyes not on me, but focused on the paintings that he had leaned against his armchair. My portrait, with its flat, distracted gaze, seemed to be staring back at us from the angle at which it stood.

With this newfound distraction from his observation, I move to push myself up off the couch, snapping him out of whatever stupor he’d been wandering in. I make sure to speak before his mouth catches up to his brain. “Well, today’s been… fun, but I think I’m gonna head out.”

I feel a hand clasp around my forearm, and I barely bite back a yelp at the contact. “It’s pretty dark out there, neighbor. Are you sure you don’t want to just sleep here tonight? I think you’d be safer.”

Nope, nope, nope nope nope. I pull my arm away, praying it didn’t look as panicked as it felt. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ll have to pass. It’s not that long a walk, I’ll be fine.” I step away towards the door, and my stomach sinks when I hear Wally get up as well.

As I prepare to head out, the same hand settles upon my shoulder instead. “Well, if you’re sure, I won’t stop you,” he drawls, a trace of emotion I can’t quite name evident in his tone. He slips past me, opening the door himself. He tilts his head, eyes locked on mine. “Let’s do this again sometime. Won’t that be nice?”

If I didn’t know better, I’d say that was a challenge. Straightening up, I stand in the doorframe and meet his stare as evenly as I can. “I’m sure it would be.” The evening chill washes over me as I exit Home. “Good night, Wally.”

“Good night, neighbor. Sleep well.” My steps are steady and even as I walk down the porch stairs, and the light still pouring out as I walk away tells me that the door is still open. That he’s still there, still watching me. I hurry along towards my house, being sure to break out of his line of sight as soon as possible. It doesn’t help with the paranoia, but I pretend it does.

Tears nearly stream down my face in relief as I enter my own home and close the door, leaning back against it and sliding down to the ground. I don’t bother getting up, not to eat, not to shower, nothing. I just sit there, alternating between keeping my eyes closed to try and relax and opening them when I see those horrible eyes taunting me in the inky black. As I feel myself drifting off, one final thought crosses into my mind:

I never got my painting back from Wally.

[lutawolf]

Hi Luta, if you don't mind answering, what do you think attracted Joe to Ming? And how much does their D/s vibe play into it? I'd love to hear your perspective.

Hey nonnie!!!

Let's go back to episode one and examine this together. I will be utilizing excerpts from the book to showcase inner thoughts, but I will refrain from divulging any spoilers from the book.

I will skip the entire part about awakening from a coma. Instead, let's start where Joe first encountered Ming's poster. I am beginning here in order to provide quotation from the book and provide a comprehension of Joe's inner thoughts.

I wanted to share this because I think it shows how Joe feels about Ming and also reminds us that for him, this is still fresh. Everyone else's world kept revolving, but for Joe, he was just on the phone with Ming. Those emotions have yet to be addressed, and we are currently adding additional complications to the situation.

Now to the elevator scene where Ming and Joe meet.

“The elevator door opened completely. The man standing in front of him is the man on the LED commercial that day. He is only 23 years old and is already well known to half of the world. He is the mighty movie star that no one dared to approach, YanMingXiu. YanMingXiu had gotten older. ZhouXiang's memory of him is still a person who is in the teenager phase, one who likes to wear sportswear and jeans. His entire person exuded youthfulness and a flamboyant aura. The YanMingXiu of today is wearing a casual suit, looking calm and restrained. His expression seems to have solidified on his face but looking icy.

ZhouXiang had been in the entertainment industry for nearly ten years. He had seen all kind of beauties, but no matter whether it was three years ago or now, he always felt that YanMingXiu's appearance is most perfect. He doesn't know how God crafted him out so finely and superbly that it's not a surprise that millions of spectators would be awed by him. Even he, who believes that he had encountered many beautiful people, is also fascinated by YanMingXiu.

In his mind, there was no way he could suppress the memories between him and YanMingXiu. From the time when he and YanMingXiu met to the last phone call they had, it was merely a years' time from beginning to end. However, to him, those memories were too recent. This feeling is very strange. It was like he only saw the person last week, and he was still a teenager, but this week, he had become a man. To him, the two years in between were completely blank. The two years had changed everyone and changed many things. Except for him, he not only lost two years of time, but he was forced to accept the changes that occurred in the past two years.”

For fun, I'll give you Ming's thoughts.

Both of their inner thoughts have now been seen. We are aware that both individuals are in love with each other. Now from when? From the show, we know that Ming fell in love with Joe's back right away. But what about Joe?

The show did an impressive job of capturing the book here, but the show changes from the book when Ming simply walks away.

I, personally, feel they still captured the fact that Joe was smitten, but in the book, we see Joe being unable to take his eyes off Ming. From the book, I know that he even wanted to go over and talk to him. So from the beginning, Ming captivated Joe. He is immediately drawn to his beauty. Which is fair considering we all know that Ming loves Joe's back. He is hostile initially to Joe for the reason that he can't understand why he is drawn to Joe when he is clearly in love with Tong.

I thoroughly enjoy the car scene. Joe is accustomed to being able to charm people, but this beautiful boy is not paying him any attention. Regardless of the efforts made by him. Yet, just when he is starting to get discouraged, Ming surprises him. Inviting himself to Joe's home.

“Zhou Xiang felt a bit bored seeing Yan Mingxiu's cold and detached attitude. Although he was itching to sound Yan Mingxiu out, he could tell Yan Mingxiu was completely uninterested in him. Even if Yan Mingxiu was gay, what did it matter? Being homosexual wasn't anything special. If two men liked the look of each other, both would have realized already. Who had the patience to unearth if the other person was beautiful inside? Even though Zhou Xiang felt that it was a pity, he wasn't a petty person. Being able to accompany such an unrivalled beauty on the way home in a traffic jam under the heavy rain was already very wonderful. He'll just make do with sexually fantasizing about him in his head. He should tightly zip his mouth, behave, and drive the car to avoid annoying him.”

Okay, so from everything I've shown you. You can clearly see that Joe has a submissive personality.

The sexual scene in the show effectively showcases their mutual sexual attraction. However, the scene itself doesn't match up with what is in the book. Having said that, I believe that the show aligns more closely with their individual traits, and I found that I liked it more than the book.

Okay, back to the show. Ming being aggressive is a turn on for Joe. It allows him the opportunity to not think. He has been making his own choices for a long time, so this is a chance for him to relax. That however doesn't extend to letting Ming top without first mentally preparing for it.

Joe immediately rejects Ming, going home. Why? Because he is tired of being alone. So Joe cooks and feeds Ming. As Joe begins to care and charm Ming, the attraction between the two builds. Both individuals experiencing a diminished sense of loneliness. Please keep in mind that Ming has lived abroad for years, with only the occasional visits from his family. He is just as lonely as Joe.

“After the meal, YanMingXiu continued to watch TV while ZhouXiang went to clean up the kitchen.

After cleaning up, ZhouXiang brought out the dessert and tea. He had not entertained anyone in his home for a long time. He rarely had people over. Even if he brought back anyone; they certainly wouldn't sit down to have tea and chat.

Although it is a pity that he and YanMingXiu couldn't achieve the goal (sex), sitting and chatting with him on this rainy night is quite romantic, so ZhouXiang's mood has been good.”

Moving on to the scene of the one on the floor and the other on the bed. Notice the threat that gets Joe on the bed with Ming. Joe had just pointed out that a man like him cannot sleep on the floor, so Ming told him to get up here, or he would get on the floor. Joe immediately gives in to the pressure.

The thought of being Joe's first means something to Ming, but he warns Joe. Ming isn't a nice person, but he can be unexpectedly kind, but Joe wants Ming. Take a look at his face after he has tucked Ming in. He is content because he is not sleeping alone. He has a beautiful boy beside him, that seems to need him as much as he needs to care for someone.

So why do they like each other? They are both physically attracted to each other, and one prefers to be commanded, while the other enjoys commanding. One needs to be able to take care of someone, and the other expects others to take care of him. Add in the fact that they're both lonely, and somehow Joe was able to sneak past Ming's intimidating walls of mistrust to ease his loneliness.

There you have it, this is what my opinion any ways. Sorry it got so long, nonnie. It just kind of happened. 💜💜💜

[vaporwavebeach-writes]

Kinktober Day 18 (Body Modification)

Victor Zsasz x Reader (NSFW)

(1,152 Words)

Summary: Zsasz makes his mark

Warnings/Tags: 18+, female reader (I got self indulgent sorry LMAO), knifeplay, bloodplay, scarification, penetrative sex, love confessions (yeah, I got REALLY self indulgent), aftercare, fluff (SLAYYY)

Notes: God, I love him. I got SO self indulgent with this one bc I’ve been having a shitty week. All my mutuals should’ve seen this one coming LMAO anyway, enjoy the fic!!!

-

Victor Zsasz loves to make his mark. Most infamously known, are the vast array of tally marks that are carved into his skin. Every mark, a symbol of every life he’s ever taken; every light that’s been snuffed out. In his mind, the marks serve as mementos; being made in the moment as a reminder for a lifetime. It’s an act of permanence. It’s an act of devotion.

So to him, it only makes sense to mark you just as he marks himself.

Apprehension and anticipation linger all around you. You sit there, completely still. Your upper half is completely exposed to him, save for your bra, leaving every inch of your blank, unmarked flesh in his view. Your shirt is discarded, laying in a crumpled pile on the floor. The soft sound of Victor’s footsteps fill you ears, pacing slowly behind you. Suspense and excitement fill your stomach. A deep inhale makes its way into your chest when you feel the cold metal of his switchblade touch your skin.

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” his voice is honest, firm, yet comforting. “This is gonna hurt…” you can feel the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, smoothing down your arm. “…A lot.”

“I appreciate you doing this Victor,” you turn to look at him. “But honestly, I’m a little scared.”

He stands over you. The blade, lightly trails along your chest, just below your collarbone, where you assume the mark will be made, your nerves spike, but you choose to swallow them down, knowing this is how Victor expresses love, in his own, sick way- not that you minded. He kneels, making his way down to your level. His hand guides you chin down to gaze into his dark eyes, filled with reassurance.

“I can promise you,” you feel his thumb gently rub over your cheek, “The pain won’t last long.”

His gaze is intense. Taking a deep breath in, you nod. “I trust you.”

He lets out a grin, tucking your hair behind you ear. He plants a soft kiss to your cheek where he was caressing over it. “Attagirl.”

Your heart flutters at his assurance. For someone so keen on sadism, getting off on the pain of others, Victor was being surprisingly comforting with you.

You can feel his body looming over you, feeling his head look over you to find the exact spot where he would mark you. He makes contact with your eyes, giving each other nodded approval to do it.

The metal is cold and exceedingly sharp. You can hardly feel it when he cuts you. The sensation almost feels pleasant as the blade glides through your flesh. You feel yourself bite back a shriek when he digs the knife deeper into your skin, making sure the cut will leave a lasting scar. Your breath hitches in your chest as he continues dragging the knife into you. Fresh crimson spills out from the cuts being left in the blade’s wake.

“God,” Victor lets out a soft growl, “I wish you could see how beautiful you look right now.”

He’s in awe of the blood trickling down your chest. It coats your chest, running down, nearly dripping down to your bra. You let out an abrupt whimper, unable to hold in the increasing pain.

“Fuck!” you cry out. Your bra strap slips past your shoulder. You feel Victor’s body directly behind you, almost in an hug. His hand smoothes your shoulder firmly, comforting.

“It’s okay,” He hushes you. “I know, I know.”

Those next few seconds, the pain is excruciating. You get up, turning around and steadying yourself on him, wanting nothing more to be enveloped in his embrace. Your eyes meet his, gazing at each other for just a second before crashing your lips together.

You feel yourself being carried over to the bed, feeling Victor’s hungry grasp taking off your already disarrayed bra. You suck in a harsh breath, feeling his tongue lick up the blood that dripped down your tits.

“You did so well,” Victor praises as he devours your bloodied flesh, slowly trailing downward, “I’m proud of you, taking that like a champ.”

“Oh god, V-Victor,” you whimper. You feel your pants being slipped off from under you. Your cunt aches, dripping with arousal as Victor thumbs your clit through your underwear. “I fucking need you.”

Victor gazes at you, carnally. His eyelids are hooded, lust swirling within his eyes. He pulls out a condom from his pocket, tearing the wrapper quickly with his teeth. He urgently slides the rubber onto his cock and eases himself inside you.

You can feel Victor’s body on top of yours, being careful to avoid the cut-up area of your chest. He positions himself, leaning on his shoulders to look at you. He rocks into you slowly, feeling your soaked cunt clench around his cock. As he picks up the pace, he presses his lips to yours feeling yourself moan into his mouth. His tongue feels heavenly and you feel yourself melting into him, letting out a hushed breath when he bites your lip, pulling away.

“You like that?” He asks breathlessly

“Y-yes,” you grunt out tenderly. “You feel fucking amazing.”

Victor chuckled, rolling his hips. You feel your cunt flutter around him as he continues to fuck you. You grip onto him tightly, nails sure to leave some marks on his back. He lets out an amorous groan, enjoying the way you hurt him.

“I love what you do to me,” Victor moans. His pace is rapid, hitting the deepest parts of you, making it hard to keep yourself quiet. You can feel your orgasm swiftly approaching, and judging by his pace- utterly frantic, so could Victor. “Your my girl, and I fucking love you.”

You’re taken aback by his abrupt confession, but honestly? You feel the same. Your hand drops down to your clit, rubbing it quickly, desperate for release. You cry out after he hits a particularly sensitive spot, once again slamming your mouth to his as you ride out your orgasm. He thrusts himself deep into you, a guttural groan escaping his lips as his orgasm isn’t far behind yours.

When all is said and done, you’re completely fucked out, disheveled, and exhausted. The air grows thick, heavy around you as he crashes onto your uncut side.

“Thank you,” you breathe out. “You are so good to me.”

Victor smiles, pressing a loving kiss to your lips. He runs a hand through your hair, before holding out a hand, pulling you up. He turns around, grabbing some towels and antibiotics for the cut “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Hey Victor,” he looks over at you, head cocked curiously. “I love you too.”

You couldn’t wait for the cut to heal. The healed scar in the shape of a heart would soon be a testament to the love you have for one another.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Home, At Last | Azriel & WitchDaughter!Reader

Summary: Unbeknownst to Azriel, an encounter he had with a witch nearly three centuries ago will come back to haunt him when his shadows begin speaking of you, his “daughter”, a witch in danger of being thrown out of her coven.

Word Count: ~ 3.5k

Warnings: Mentions of rape, stillborn baby, pregnancy, abuse, branding, witches, sharp stuff, birth, death, major trauma and angst, injuries, ends kinda good tho (PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP W/ AZ AND READER)

A/N: Ok I feel like I’m scamming y’all bc reader is actually Az’s granddaughter but they have more of a father-daughter relationship in the ends…this is like super sad in the beginning but there’s comfort in the end and a bit of fluff, hope you enjoy <3

Requests are open!

From the moment his shadows had begun whispering and speaking of rumors, Azriel hadn’t been surprised.

Of course, he was surrounded by rumors, he was the infamous shadowsinger, the Spymaster of Night Court who’d been alive for centuries and lived through several wars, a male who’d murdered thousands in his lifetime. But these rumors seemed a bit more real than the others, more realistic, or at least his shadows thought so.

‘She is small, with hazel eyes like ours’

They whispered to him, conjuring up images in his mind, images of a young teenage female, one of gleaming iron, with hazel eyes and midnight black hair.

He didn’t understand how or why he would have a child.

With any lover he took, he always ensured that the protection was flawless, whether it be condoms, birth control pills, or pulling out on time, he was careful with all of it. He knew he wasn’t ready for a child, and he didn’t want to have one anytime soon, let alone with a female he wasn’t mated with.

But there was one instance. One completely out of his control, an experience he would never forget.

It had been in the midst of the first Great War, he’d been sent on a mission, a secretive one to gather information, by Rhysand’s father, the High Lord at the time. It had all gone perfectly, he’d gotten in, and out, but he’d made a small pitstop on a little side of a high mountaintop to gather water, as he had been feeling a bit nauseous due to the lack of it for many hours.

The female had moved so quickly he hadn’t even been able to notice her until he was on the ground, and saw her iron teeth and nails come down over their normal counterparts a second too late before they were against his Jugular, the witch smiling wickedly above him as she crooned into his ear.

“Quite the catch. I haven’t seen a male like you in centuries,”

She had purred into his ear, her sharp nails tracing over where the Illyrian tattoos were visible on the lower half of his neck, and some of his shoulders. Overcome with nausea and fatigue from nonstop missions, not to mention the deadly witch that could easily slaughter him, he could do nothing but remain silent and blank as he could while the witch had her way with him. That was a key belief of their kind, that men were only good for breeding and food, nothing more.

He’d tried to forget about it, tried his very hardest, but now it seemed it was coming back to bite him. It was odd that his shadows hadn’t picked anything up sooner. That event had been nearly 300 years ago, and if that witch had somehow sired his child, survived the birth with the wings, and raised it…

He was getting ahead of himself. Maybe it was just a mishap with a normal lover, not the sadistic witch who’d raped him so long ago.

And if it was….he’d find her.

*********************************************************

Normal occurrences in the witch camps had always been chaotic, but you were bound to notice more when you were actively looking out for it.

Daily sparring, sharpening of iron teeth or nails, fights, meals, and hunting times. It had all been so painfully normal to you before you’d gotten pregnant. It had been a human man, one you’d met while scoping out a new area for the Matron. He’d been drunk, and you, like any other witch of your coven, had taken advantage of that fact.

He’d at least provided a decent meal afterward.

Carrying a witchling was a blessing from your gods, you knew it, and you were forever thankful for it. But that didn’t mean it was easy. You were usually stuck in the designated area for impregnated witches that were about to pop, which was fine. There was just one thing you were nervous about, one thing that might go wrong.

You had only heard the story once, how you’d been born with wings and your mother had been left ripped open and dead because of it, her birthing canal unable to adjust. The same wings that had been promptly ripped off for being improper. Death had probably been the best fate for the female that had once called you her daughter, giving birth to an improper or “wrong” child was worse, and you would be branded like cattle, and thrown to the side.

That could easily happen to you.

The chances were low, usually the only genes that carried so strongly through witch blood were the integral witch parts, what made you worthy and befitting of the coven. The chances of the child having wings were low, almost zero, but not zero.

You couldn’t help but wonder if that was what your mother had been thinking, or her mother before her. The gene of wings had been in your bloodline almost three women back. They’d probably thought the same. That there wasn’t a chance, not one bit of one. Even though there had been, and she’d paid dearly for it

Every day dragged closer to the day, and as the others in the coven noticed the behavior, the swollen ankles, the lack of strength, shortness of breath, odd cravings, fatigue, or the morning sickness, the stricter the designated midwives became you staying inside of your bed.

The nerves grew, for multiple different reasons.

“This is a blessing,”

They’d tell you.

“You’re birthing the next generation of a strong coven,”

They said.

It was easy to listen to them, but not so easy to believe in what they’d said. Other females gave you tips, being oddly kind for your species and their volatile behavior. The midwives prepared you, giving you a blunt explanation of what would happen, as they did with all the other females about to give birth.

Finally, the day came.

At first, you thought you’d just pissed yourself when your water broke, but after a second of actual contemplation, you’d nearly panicked. The contractions started soon after, horrible awful things making your body cramp and lurch in ways you hadn’t even known possible beforehand. Your groans and moans joined those of the other woman also giving birth at the time. This was her first time, too. You’d briefly talked to her before.

“When are you due?”

“A month before the solstice.”

“….”

“Three weeks before the solstice.”

“Is this your first?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Me too.”

The female seemed as kind as a witch could be, with piercing blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. Your screams intertwined together, beds separated only by thin curtains in the large birthing tent with rows upon rows of beds and supplies.

It felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside out, some sort of feral creatures trying to claw their way out. Your nails dug into the bed, ripping and shredding the thick furs in a way most mothers didn’t. It felt like it was taking too long. You faintly heard crying, that of a baby, the other female’s child.

You pushed for what felt like hours, nurses hissing to push harder, faster, to be strong like a witch should and suffer through it. Like the other new mother beside your bed had done.

However, with a final push, the baby had emerged. You looked down at it, eyes stained with tears and sweat. There were no wings on the small, red thing, not even a hint of it.

And not a hint of crying, either.

*********************************************************

“And..how long will you be gone?”

Rhysand asked him, with a raised brow and smooth tone, barely showing his curiosity. He never saw his shadowsinger this bothered. Azriel had been pacing nearly all morning and seemed distracted during training.

“Give me a day.”

The male responded, swallowing as he tried to stop his pacing, to stop seeming concerned. The stoic look remained on his face, despite his obvious worries through his body language.

“Very well…”

The High Lord replied, swirling the wine in his cup around before taking a small sip of it, gazing into the pool of dark red liquid, as if trying to find an answer to his questions in it.

“What are you up to, brother?”

He then asked, giving Azriel a curious but assessing look. Azriel only shook his head, heart beating faster than it should’ve as he left the office area, walking out of the townhouse, looking at the sparkling river that overlooked the Sidra, and took out the maps he’d acquired from one of the oldest sections in the House of Wind’s library.

He’d marked out a path in chalk, he would start where he’d first encountered that witch nearly three centuries ago, and he would go South from there, following evidence of migration patterns his shadows had managed to dig up.

It had been hours of endless flying, no sign of life on the mountain other than old, maybe a year ago, dirt disturbed, which could’ve easily been whatever wildlife could brave the heights of the mountain. He’d followed the pattern from there, his wings aching, the shadows whispering which way to go, but unable to aid him in his conquest. He was forced to stop for the night when a large storm blew in, thunder cracking down from the skies.

And so, setting up a fire in a small cave he’d found, Truth-Teller in his hand, he went to sleep for the night.

*********************************************************

It had happened too quickly, you’d barely had time to understand why, but when you realized your child wasn’t crying, and the fact that he was too small and pale, you knew what had happened. A stillborn.

They brought out the brand before you could even try to get away, the nurses hissing and grumbling at your every struggle and begging and pleading as they took the red-hot iron, sinking it into your flesh, searing so deep that not even your witch blood could heal it enough to avoid the mark it left. The big, black, ugly symbol on the left of your stomach, read “Infertile”.

They’d dragged you through the camp as you’d screamed and sobbed, public humiliation at its finest, and carried you far from the camp, far enough that you wouldn’t be able to sniff them out or trace them back, dropping you on the forest floor.

“Waste of our time,”

You heard one of them grumble as they departed, leaving you alone and in the cold forest. You were still bleeding slightly, your teenage body struggling to recuperate from being split open. It got better as time went on, when you managed to struggle to your feet, knees about to give out, and began stumbling through the forest. Your head was fuzzy, not clear, and unable to focus properly as you registered warmth from a certain direction.

Warmth.

The word clanged through you like a bell despite the lightning and rain overhead, you began sniffing out the fire, picking up the faint scent of a male nearby. It didn’t matter. You could deal with the male later, but if you didn’t get warm now, you didn’t know if you could make it through the night.

A small cave came into sight, and stumbling into it, you found the warmth you so desperately desired, a small campfire lit.

However, before you could get closer to it, you registered being slammed to the ground, cold steel against your neck, and a pair of dark, hazel eyes looking into your own.

*********************************************************

A witch.

And not just any witch, his daughter, his teenage daughter, bloodied and bruised, being pinned down beneath him. He had her wrists tied up in barely a second, he’d seen firsthand what those iron nails witches possessed could do to those who weren’t cautious.

The iron scent of her blood was obvious as well, and based on its location, she was either injured in a very bad place or menstruating, and he didn’t want to think of the only real possible answer. Another aspect of her scent was the smell of blooming life, the same one Feyre had possessed while pregnant with Nyx. A scent he couldn’t ignore.

“Who are you?”

He asked, Truth-Teller being placed back on his side as he carefully picked the female up, placing her down near the campfire to give her shivering and soaking wet form some warmth.

“I just — she wasn’t crying and they —“

You sobbed, as if not hearing his question, burying your head into your arms. It didn’t take Azriel long to piece together what had happened, and he knew that you needed medical attention.

“Hold still,”

He muttered, stamping out the fire and gathering the few things he’d brought, before gently lifting you into his arms, and in a swirl of shadows and magic, you were somewhere completely new. He watched you carefully as he hurried to Madja’s tent. Your eyes were closed as you sobbed, and if he was assuming what had happened correctly, you had reason to.

The old female, always reliable with their medical issues, was in her tent, mixing up some concoction, her eyes widened as she laid eyes on you but then went right back to normal, into medic mode, where she couldn’t panic and risk making a mistake or scaring anyone.

“Lay her down.”

Her voice rang out, and Azriel obediently obeyed, laying you on the table and watching, his anxiety evident in the way he paced back and forth, swallowing. Madja began examining you, taking the restraints on your hands and your clothes off, and when he spotted the brand, the dark mark burnt into your skin that looked all too fresh, his temper flared beyond control and he growled. Madja gave him a look.

“If you can’t control yourself, then leave.”

Her sharp tone rang out, and he huffed, but knowing that his anger wouldn’t solve anything, he walked out of the tent, sparing your barely conscious form one last glance as you groaned, clearly in discomfort.

…

“You have a what?”

Cassian’s confused and shocked tone rang out from behind Rhys and Azriel. Az sighed. The bastard must’ve snuck in when they weren’t looking. Rhys looked a bit worried, and Azriel felt more anxious than he’d been in centuries.

“A daughter, she’s a…witch.”

Cassian choked on his spit at that, watching Azriel’s frantic pacing. Rhys put his hand on the shadowsinger’s shoulder, stopping his constant movement in an attempt to soothe him.

“It’ll be fine, Azriel. We’ll work this out.”

“She could die, Rhys. I think she’d just given birth when I found her, it went wrong somehow, and those other witches marked her. They fucking marked her.”

Azriel snapped, eyes filled with such anguish, anger, and grief already that neither of them knew what to say, except to remain silent and think about the situation they were in and how to make it better.

Cassian carefully approached Azriel, with a look and demeanor he’d seen before. It was like he saw him as a wounded animal, like a soldier after the battle, scarred and mentally torn apart.

“All we can do is wait and see, Az.”

His voice, a bit softer than usual, though still gruff, spoke. His eyes held sympathy and understanding, as did Rhys’, but also caution and concern. A witch was dangerous. They knew that just as well as anyone.

*********************************************************

The first thing you registered was that you were in a lot of pain, with stitches being put in your body, and needles being poked every which way. You groaned and shifted, only for old, worn hands to put you right back into place, and a vague voice telling you to “stop moving.” before you felt another needle on the inside of your wrist, and you fell back into sleep again.

The next time you woke, you felt more numb this time, opening your eyes to be met with the sight of a room, ornate, the floor a rich red carpet with patterns on it, the ceiling wooden and going upwards to a point. There was some bland wooden furniture in the room, one mirror, and a large window that light bled through despite the light curtains on it.

A male was sitting beside you. Two of them. Three. They were talking amongst themselves. You hadn’t opened your eyes yet, content to listen.

“— but they gave her up, didn’t they?”

“Technically, yes. I think it’s well within our rights to keep her here if they moved her out of the camp.”

“So she’s ours?”

“She is no one’s.”

The dark voice that cut through the conversation finally made you open your eyes. You recognized that, and his scent…it was familiar, somehow. As soon as you opened your eyes and began to shift, they were all at attention, watching closely.

One in particular stood out to you, the dark male, shrouded by shadows, hazel eyes that resembled your own. All three had wings, leathery bat-like things, one of the males was more brusque and muscular, offering a little grin, the other looking more proper like a pretty Court boy, with his violet eye. All of them had dark hair.

You stared until the shadowy one spoke.

“What’s your name?”

He asked lowly, voice smooth and soothing. His scarred hands twitched up as if wanting to hold you or touch you, or anything he could to fix you.

“Y/N.”

You answered, swallowing as you tried to sit up, wincing as you felt the clothes that had been put on you, similar to a hospital gown, rub against the stitches in your body, and the branding on your stomach. The minute a hint of discomfort entered your expression, the scarred hands of the male were there, gently helping ease you up as you sat against the headboard of the bed, probably looking like death. The minute you were sat up, his hands went away, as if he realized what he had done.

“Sorry.”

He muttered, hands retreating into his lap from the chair. The other male, the violet-eyed one, then cleared his throat and spoke.

“I’m Rhysand,”

He said with a small polite smile, clearly faked, as you could smell how unsure he was, even a bit anxious, as it was in his scent. The brusque-looking one then spoke up with a wolf’s grin, one that wasn’t faked at all.

“Cassian,”

He said before you turned to face the last one. He swallowed, looking a bit anxious.

“Azriel. I’m..your father, or related to you somehow.”

Your brow scrunched in confusion, eyes glancing back at his wings. He might have been your father, but not likely, given how long the trait of wings had been in your bloodline. From what you knew, it had started with your grandmother, then passed to your mother, then you. You sighed, looking uncomfortable but speaking.

“How many years ago was it?” How many years has it been since you fucked a witch?

He swallowed, now looking more uncomfortable, and Cassian snorted, clearly just thinking his eldest brother had gone off and had some fun with a witch, while Rhys shot the male a glare.

“Three centuries.”

He got out quietly, the tiniest of blushes on his cheeks. Your mind was spinning, but you managed to get one coherent thought out.

“You’re my grandfather.”

You said in a dry, clearly uncomfortable tone. Cassian couldn’t stop his laughter at that, even when Rhys elbowed him hard.

“He’s got a grandkid! I don’t believe it —“

He wheezed until Rhys shot Azriel and you an apologetic look, grumbling something to Azriel as he dragged him out of the room, shutting the door behind him. The shadowsinger seemed relieved to be alone with you.

“I’m sorry about what happened, with..everything, I should’ve been there-“

“Don’t. You probably didn’t even know I existed.”

You cut him off, your tired voice still firm. You let your iron nails slide out if only to check that they were still there and undamaged. They were shiny and sharp as ever, untouched. They slid back up as if never there, and you yawned, going to lay back down in the bed. He helped you lay down, scarred hands lingering and taking your hand into his own as he looked into your eyes, multiple emotions mingling inside.

You sighed, giving a tiny tug to his hand.

“C’mere.”

You said, and he easily obliged, tossing his shoes to the floor, but leaving his shirt and pants on as he crawled into the bed beside you, cradling your body gently against his. His hands made sure to avoid the brand on you, the fresh stitches, but they brushed over the large scars on your back from where your wings had been ripped off when you were born.

“You had wings?”

He asked, a pain clear in his voice as your head lay against his chest.

“Had.”

You replied, the exhaustion clear in your tone. Anger flared up in him, for those witches for laying a finger on you, taking your wings and branding you, for them treating you so horribly.

“I’ll never let them touch you again, I promise.”

He said, an inky black marking forming on his back, and on yours, that of a star forming with swirls all around and in it, right between the scars on your back. You gave a little hum of acknowledgment, head moving up to bury itself in his neck, deeply inhaling his scent.

It smelt like home, at last.

[hannahssimblr]

Wise behaviour, I decide, is sleeping it off. I pass out in the tent for hours, oblivious to the festival chaos, and wake disoriented and in no better spirits once the sun has dipped beneath the hills. Half awake, I trudge towards the showers and wash my hair and teeth under cold water before wandering off to find someone to hang out with for the night. 

It’s Joe and Kasper I find first, laying into hamburgers that I cannot understand how they can stomach. After what I saw spew out of me today, I’m not sure I’ll ever enjoy solid food again, but I sit with them while they polish them off, finding that I can handle the eating and the finger licking if I completely dissociate and think about the way my palms feel until my mind is free from all thought, and every emotion is vacuumed right out of my being. 

I maintain it for a while, that blank feeling, and when we finally meet with the others to see Foo Fighters at the main stage, I stand there like a ghost on the outskirts of the group while Jen throws me the occasional withering stare. 

“What’s wrong with you?” she whispers, as we try to find a decent place to stand.

I shrug. “Dunno, really.”

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Not trying to.”

“And where were you all day? I texted you like, ten times, probably. It was like getting a grim insight into what it’s like to go out with you.”

“What’s that mean?”

She scoffs, “Please, how you’d disappear for hours when Michelle was trying to get in touch, and reappear with no explanation, like, a day later? No wonder she was paranoid.”

I frown. “Thought you refused to talk to her about our relationship, the same way you did with me.”

And she rolls her eyes, “oh, come on. You really think she didn’t bring it up with me? Endlessly? And you know what? She was right. Not texting her back for a whole day was a really shit thing to do.”

“It was because my phone died. Half the time I couldn’t remember where my charger was.”

“You just didn’t want to talk to her.”

“Sometimes I don’t want to talk, Jen. In fact sometimes it's better for everyone when I don't have to.”

Her face reddens. “Well then, you should say that, instead of just going mute on people. It’s not nice.”

“I said it this morning!” As my voice rises a few decibels, Evie turns to look at me, and I only meet her eyes for a split second before returning my glare to Jen. “I told you I’m not up for talking.”

“Well, fine, but tell me what you were doing today. You look awful.” her hand comes to my face and I knock it away. 

“Stop. Don’t touch me.”

She rears back like I’ve spit at her. “Jude.”

“I just don’t want your hands right in my face.”

She stares at me in outrage. “You're treating me like a criminal for being concerned. I just wanted to spend time with you today, that’s all.”

“Well, look. I’m not always going to be here. You’re going to have to find someone else to hang out with eventually, so you’ll need to stop depending on me for company all the time.”

Tears spring to her eyes. “Oh, my God. You’re being rotten. When you’re like this-”

“Don’t talk to me then.”

“I’m allowed to talk to you. You’re my friend.”

I roll my eyes. “Fine, talk then. Chat away. I'm listening.”

Her chin wobbles, but her eyes harden. “You should be ashamed of yourself, by the way.”

I raise my eyebrows with mock enlightenment. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because, whatever about how I feel today, but you’ve confused that sweet girl, okay? I’ve been with her since morning, and she’s devastated that you’ve kissed her and then essentially run away and hid from her like a scared child.”

“Did she say that, Jen, or did you just make it up so I’d feel guilty?”

“That’s the fucking subtext.”

“The subtext, is it? Oh, excuse me. The fucking subtext.”

“You can’t speak to me like that.”

“Christ, I can't say anything, can I?”

“It’s not even about me, by the way. What about Evie? Huh? What about-”

“Oh, my God.” I make a sound, this hollow, frustrated hack like the imitation of a laugh. “Stop hounding me about her, right? I’m sick of it, all day, all the time, begging for details. It’s nothing. It’s meaningless, so just leave me alone.”

“It’s not nothing. I know you well enough to tell when it’s-”

“Jen!”

“Fine.” She marches to join Evie, who, after one more anxious glance in my direction, murmurs something to Jen that I cannot hear. 

“Yeah. I think he’s just in one of his moods.” She snips at volume, flashing evil eyes over her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I had to see him like this all the time at school. Just ignore him.”

I scowl at her, and she scowls back even harder before whirling around and pulling Evie into the crowd, and as far away from me as they can possibly get.

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[erens-heart]

FIREPLACES | HJP / YOU

you start to think your friend harry potter is quite attractive.

a/n • idk what the fuck this is! my first time writing in about 5 years and i’ve also never written for hp characters despite loving harry from the age of 5.

theme • angsty and fluffy, i don’t write smut (for now!!!)

warnings • mentions of death, grieving harry, violence

word count is 4.1k, i wrote this in one sitting.

you weren’t exactly irrelevant, your name was at least recognised, however you were also perfectly and plainly ordinary. you didn’t have a huge number of friends at hogwarts, however you were lucky to be well acquainted with harry potter. you weren’t close enough with him to spill your deepest and innermost thoughts, but you enjoyed laughing with him on the way to dinner most evenings; you greeted each other warmly whenever you passed him in the corridor and even offered to help him with his homework on the odd occasion. it was a simple friendship - nice. your conversations never got much deeper than, “hello”, “how are you?”, “have you handed your essay on werewolves in yet?”, but they were pleasant nevertheless. the most you knew about him was that he had triumphed against voldemort (but who didn’t) and lived in an awfully dull neighbourhood called little whinging, but he never went into any detail about his encounters, you assumed that he saved those stories for his best friends ron and hermione. in fact, the more you considered it, you realised that harry was actually a very private, quiet boy, who said as little as he could get away with. sometimes when you said “hello” you felt as though you’d bothered him, he always seemed to have a sad look in his eyes, even when he was laughing his hardest.

you never really took much time to consider finding harry attractive, until you overheard two gryffindor girls oggling over his photo in the daily prophet on the way to your lesson one morning. you revised the idea in your head, and admittedly agreed that his eyes were really gorgeous, and recalled the times you’d caught his cold eyes in class. most of the time it was because he was deep in thought, staring at the wall past you and you happened to be looking in his direction.

professor slughorn was in the middle of teaching potions. you weren’t completely invested in the lesson because you couldn’t concentrate. your mind kept distractingly returning to the idea that harry’s eyes were infact really pretty. you turned discreetly to your right and saw him sat there. to your startled dismay his blue eyes were staring right at you. you weren’t good at things like this and sat there stiffening, knuckles turning white as you gripped the edges of your desk at your attempt to hide the fact that you’d been oggling at him like all of the other girls in your year.

when the lesson had come to an end, you heard harry’s soft voice call after you, because you’d been trying to hurry out amongst the rest of the bustling students to escape the embarrassment of the escapade at the beginning of the hour. as much as you’d wanted to, you couldn’t ignore him, you were supposed to be good friends, so you paused whilst teetering out of the arched doorway and turned on heel.

“hey harry.”

he seemed even more troubled than usual, and you immediately felt your stomach lurch. “slughorn’s loving you these days, isn’t he?” you continued whilst the conversation remained in the archway of the classroom even as the other students dispersed back to their common rooms.

harry nodded before slowly presenting you with his potions book. you were confused until he opened it to the blank page prefacing the table of contents.

this book is property of the half-blood prince.

“i’m not quite sure what this means.” you followed dryly, screwing your eyebrows together at the peculiar text, it seemed to have been inked in by a student.

harry hadn’t talked much yet aside from calling your name. his thin lips pressed into a frown and he shook his head too, “me neither. this book is the reason i’ve been coming out on top of the class”, your eyes found his whilst he spoke, “hermione would tell me to hand it over to slughorn, and ron might get jealous, so i thought i would show you. you’re easy-going.” your lips curled up at the compliment he had just paid you. for the first time, he’d confided in you before either of his best friends, and it gave you butterflies for some reason.

—

ever since your conversation with harry after potions, you two had been meeting regularly in the library. you had asked harry if you could copy the notes from the strange book into your own for academic purposes, and unbeknownst to you harry had agreed because he found your company oddly comforting.

this particular evening was unlike any other until harry broke the silence in a way that was strikingly unfamiliar to you. he started venting.

“being the chosen one isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” he sighed with comedic, adolescent frustration and pressed his cheek against a stack of books on the desk. he was watching your quill scribble away and fought back the urge to yawn. he was grumpy a lot of the time, he’d become a very temperamental boy in the recent stages of his teen-hood - it made you giggle. you put your quill down, and entertained his complaint by asking him “why?”.

he rolled his eyes and pointed at two fourth year girls sat in the corner of the library, “i haven’t gone a day this year without some girl coming up to flirt with me,” he consciously tugged the hood of his jumper closer around his neck, ”i think i preferred it when everybody hated me last year, to be honest.” you managed a laugh and put your hand on the boy’s shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

“i can picture your frustration. i don’t blame them though.” you immediately bit your tongue, you hadn’t meant to insinuate anything, but luckily harry thought nothing of what you’d said and shrugged, still visibly annoyed. it was also uncommon for you and harry to engage in any skinship whatsoever and, realising this, you quickly withdrew your hand from his shoulder, pretending to tuck a tuft of hair back behind your ear.

by the time you and harry were ready to leave for bed that night, you’d long been finished taking notes, but you enjoyed small talk with harry beside the candlelight, and he enjoyed it too. by habit of his escapist nature, he’d been enjoying your company more than anyone else’s for the past two or three weeks because there was nothing complicated to your friendship, and he never gave you any indication of struggling so you never asked. harry liked that. he had a feeling that you probably knew he had his personal impediments being “the chosen one”, but you accepted them blindly with a kind smile, and treated him indifferently. it was all very convenient and comfortable. he was also starting to consider the idea that you had very nice eyes too.

—

and the school year continued just like that. you and harry grew closer than ever; you revelled in eachother’s company; you spent your evenings together in the library; you spent your mornings together in the great hall revising. most crucially, you were best friends denying the presence of anything more because you were both too shy. harry also didn’t want to risk overcomplicating one of the few relationships in his life that took his mind off voldemort.

in his time away from you throughout the year, he continued to carry out dumbledore’s endeavours and courted slughorn into revealing his vices. in the month leading up to this, harry had been distancing himself from you. although he thought it better to keep you at arm’s length from his business with dumbledore, he hadn’t been intentionally trying to avoid you, he was just so very busy. he felt guilty nonetheless.

you took harry’s absence on the chin, you knew he dealt with a lot of things, things he didn’t disclose in casual conversations with you because that would spoil the light-heartedness of the time you spent together. you took it as an opportunity to resume the studies you’d fallen behind on, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit… lonely. you hadn’t been on your own like this since harry had called for you after that one potions lesson.

reminiscently, you opened your potions book on the notes you had taken when you were with harry, and smiled fondly. but then your heart sank. it wasn’t abnormal to miss your friends, but what you felt was beyond yearning, you just kept it hidden from harry and the other students, not that harry had the time to notice these days. at most, he managed a quick “hello” as he passed in and out of the common room, until one morning he had disappeared altogether.

you attended breakfast alone. you attended your first class of the day alone. you felt so miffed that you decided not to attend your defence against the dark art’s class, in fact you were truant for the rest of the school day. the fact that you hadn’t seen harry at all today worried you immensely, even when he was busy he was always loitering somewhere about the grounds. yesterday he’d returned from hagrid’s fairly late, you guessed that maybe he was tired and sleeping it off, but a dark hunch that you had implied otherwise.

that night, your intuition summoned you to the astronomy tower, one of few places you visited for undisrupted pondering. your chest felt clogged with an indescribable feeling, it felt almost like a sixth sense, or something similar to unease. the sky foreshadowed a storm, you felt it in the humid air too. usually you would feel lost without harry, but for some reason the fear inspired an unusual confidence in you, and you balled your hands into two determined fists as you stared out over the grounds. it all felt nostalgic, the sweep of grey trees in the distance reminded you of the life that had inhabited the school when you were a little girl. you couldn’t decide why you were crying exactly. maybe you missed harry. maybe you just hated being alone. you soaked it up with the sleeve of your school jumper and turned to leave, and you would have done if not for the indistinct sound of footsteps.

you took off down the stairs and uttered a soft “lumos” to your wand, illuminating a pair of blue eyes, but they weren’t harry’s. your eyes winced at the mop of silver-blonde hair infront of you. the male you recognised easily as malfoy pinned you suddenly to the wall with his forearm and despite looking fairly scrawny, his forearm was bigger than you anticipated - you couldn’t move.

“what are you doing up here”, he asked bluntly, yet whispered at the same time. malfoy’s clothes carried a smell that you likened to an old cupboard, or dusty furniture. he was someone that you knew to be unpleasant, due to harry’s recollection of their quarrellings, but you had exchanged few words with him during your time at school. you weren’t aware of harry’s extra-curricular activities, and even less aware of harry’s speculations about malfoy. your expressionless face mocked draco’s attempt to scare you, you raised a cocky eyebrow and retorted, repeating the same question he had asked you.

“it’s none of your business.” his voice quivered briefly, you recognised this as fear, but ignored it when you heard the sound of someone apparating into the castle, soon followed by the sound of harry’s voice. draco’s head turned almost as quickly as yours. his plans had not accommodated harry. it was hard to say who was more staggered by this. the inches between you and draco were quickly severed when the blonde boy pulled out his wand and took up the stairs. you immediately thought it best to stay hidden beneath the floorboards, you didn’t think harry would take kindly to finding out that you were there, even though it was highly unintentional, he liked to keep you separate from his dealings. plus, it was late. malfoy was joined by a few unrecognisable characters dressed anonymously in black, and snape. breath hitched, you crouched behind one of the pillars and eavesdropped on the conversation happening above you, and it didn’t take you long to understand that it wasn’t going to be a friendly encounter, however it sounded unlike any of the altercations harry had previously described to you. you knew malfoy to be a snobby, sneering sod, but you hadn’t thought of him as an accomplice until you heard snape strain “avada kedavra” discernibly above the conflict.

you clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle a staggered, gagging cry. you felt as though you couldn’t breathe. you supposed this is what grief felt like, but it had all happened so quickly, you’d hardly processed the events you’d just heard before you felt it curdle with rage in your gut. harry was long gone, judging by his outburst you assumed he was chasing after snape. before he fled after the teacher, harry’s tone had become unrecognisably cruel, a tone that had never occurred to you in all the years you’d known the bright boy. it made you shiver.

you could still hear malfoy’s discordant sobs on top of the tower, so you confronted him quickly, casting bereaved spells at him with your wand. if harry knew you were involving yourself…

it didn’t matter.

“STUPEFY!”

he looked reluctant to engage in this duel with you, but that didn’t stop him from disarming you. your wand flew from your hand and you inelegantly dived after it. malfoy dived after your wand, simultaneously, and as you both landed on the floor with a thud, you raised your palm to his pale cheek and slapped him. it was so harsh that you felt your palm stinging too, but the pain didn’t phase you as you wrestled your wand from the slytherin boy’s puny hand. flecks of spit from draco’s mouth landed on your face because he was gritting his teeth so angrily, he portrayed a level of fury you thought was impossible for a 16 year old boy to feel. he stopped resisting you, there was something heartbreakingly defeated about the cowardly slytherin. you led slumped against a pillar opposite him, panting in a deathly silence.

—

harry couldn’t hear anything, besides the sound of blood gushing in his ears and a slight pulse. he recalled how snape’s cloak had coiled back and swept over harry’s exhausted body before the gaunt-looking man accompanied a cloaked woman into the dark forest.

coward.

he knelt honourably beside dumbledore’s lifeless body, caressing the man’s silver beard with his fingertips. it was inconsolable, his pain. harry only knew loss. everybody that he held close seemed to die and slowly the amount of people that he could trust seemed to be growing smaller, and smaller. with every loss, he felt a small part of the excited 11 year old boy he once was die too. he was too young to feel this way, it was excruciating, but even though he felt this way, he remained nonchalant and concealed what few tears fell down his cheeks.

you stood with the rest of the grieving students, but you felt scared stepping forward to comfort harry, it had been a good few weeks since you had felt close to the boy. he had his back to the crowd, it confirmed the trauma you had only guessed at for years every time you looked into his shy, blue eyes across the classroom. your heart ached.

you waded quietly past the others students as they held their illuminated wands to the sky above and lowered to your knees beside harry, his eyes didn’t meet yours. all magic aside, your held your friends’ hand with a human understanding of his agony and set your wand aside, squeezing his hand weakly with what strength you had left. he was never very open about his trauma, but he didn’t need to be at that moment, you collected his soft, soft sobs in your shoulder as you pulled him in against your chest and held him. you could feel how badly he was hurting. you wished you could take it all away.

and you stayed there holding him late into the night, long after the other students had cleared and returned to their dormitories. professor mcgonagall stayed with dumbledore too.

—

two weeks had passed since dumbledore’s passing. your friendship with harry wasn’t quite the same. it was common knowledge that you had been there on the astronomy tower, you’d also told him about your brawl with malfoy. you didn’t talk about much else after airing that, harry was reluctant to talk about what had happened, mostly because it was too painful, but also because then he would have no choice but to accept the events as factual. that also meant accepting that hogwarts would never be the same, accepting that everything had irreversibly changed.

conversations were duller than ever. harry had become even more temperamental. you often heard him lashing out late at night, when he was alone in his dormitory, or heard his footsteps on the cold floor in the common room when he went to sit by the fire to relieve himself of a nightmare or a terror. you recognised them as harry’s footsteps because you too stayed awake all night, and noticed that you never heard his footsteps returning to bed, and often found him sat there the next morning staring bitterly into the fire wearing the same damp pyjamas that he had soaked that night.

one memorable night, you were pulled aside before bed by hermione granger. you knew she was one of harry’s best friends, though you’d never spoken to her. you hadn’t anything against her, and you hoped the feeling was mutual, even greater than that you hoped she didn’t sense you as a threat to her long-lasting friendship with him. you weren’t like that.

you pulled your dressing gown robe around your body and tied it at the front as she began to murmur, “i’m sure you know harry’s in an awful way.” you nodded silently. “he’s never been keen on relying on people, you know. the whole time i’ve known him i’ve never seen him ask somebody for help. except maybe dumbledore…” she trailed off cautiously, even she treated dumbledore as a delicate topic of conversation since he had passed away.

she pulled her curls back into a ponytail and frowned. “but i also don’t think he would be so against relying on you.” you couldn’t help but feel as though hermione was suggesting you hadn’t been there for harry as much as you could have been. perhaps you’d neglected him through fear of seeming like you were prying when all he really needed was for you to try and persist. get through to him. you also guessed at the very obvious hint hermione had dropped that sounded as though both you and harry had feelings for the other that were unspoken for. you thanked hermione sincerely, and rushed down to the common room in your nightwear. you didn’t have any socks on, the stone castle floor was freezing.

you knew harry would be down soon, he came and sat by the fire every night without fail. you sat there too, melting into the sofa, hoping it would eat you alive because the anxiety was gnawing away at you. what if harry snapped at you? told you you were being troublesome or bothering him? when you saw his face descend down from the stairs to the boy’s dormitories, you regretted your instinct to come downstairs entirely. harry didn’t look bothered yet though.

he sat beside you quietly and sighed, pulling the collar of his pyjamas shirt away from his neck. it was damp from where he had been sweating already. without much thought, you stopped his trembling hand from tugging at the fabric and held yours clasped over his before opening your mouth, “i’m sorry, harry.”

he didn’t say anything. he looked like someone who’d heard sorry too many times in the past two weeks.

“we used to have fun together…” you started, unsure of where you were actually going with this. “i’m not here to pity you, like most of the others. i do understand, you know. not quite as fully as you, i haven’t been through nearly as much, but when i see you crying, harry, i…”

you brought his hand down from his neck and held it firmly in your lap, “i can’t watch you in pain and-“ you breathed and reticent as you were said very plainly, “i don’t mean that as a friend either, harry.”

you met harry’s blue eyes. they seemed surprised, although you weren’t sure why. he was brilliant, you wish he saw that. not brilliant because he was “the chosen one”, or because he was somewhat of a celebrity, but because of how brave and exceedingly kind he was.

“i don’t understand, y/n.”

“yes, you do.”

harry knew he’d understood you as well. but he hadn’t expected your friendship to take so much of a dark turn so quickly, he wanted to keep you away from that. and he didn’t like you seeing the vulnerable side of him either, despite however pleasantly intimate it was to have you comfort him. maybe this was enough, though. maybe this was close enough.

you were sat inches from eachother on the sofa before the fire. but you were close enough that he could smell your perfume. it made him smile. it wasn’t a big smile at all, unlike the huge grins that practically stretched to his ears when he was a little boy. but it was a smile nevertheless. he also decided against fighting the urge to smile because your determination made you that much prettier.

eyes straying, harry made a confession of his own, “do you know what i could smell when slughorn took the lid off of the amortentia in potions?”

“what?”

“something a bit like honeysuckle”, he paused, smiling into the fire, “i didn’t recognise it until you held me two weeks ago. i’d never gotten close enough to notice that you smell like that.”

your mouth fell open slightly but conscious that you were catching flies, you quickly shut it and smile too. this conversation suddenly felt nice, unlike the tension that had been brewing between you previously. you felt warm again, just like you had done when you shared your evenings together in the library.

“i’ve liked you for a long time, harry, but i didn’t want you to think i was taking advantage of you.”

“why would i think that?” suddenly his bushy, black eyebrows were knotted together above his nose.

“all that talk of you being “the chosen one”, i didn’t want you to think that’s the only reason i took any interest. especially when you despised other girls for that very reason.”

he scoffed, you were right, those girls had been awfully annoying. he turned his head slightly, commanding a shy pink colour to creep into your cheeks. even when you and harry had been at your closest, you became bashful when he held eye contact with you, it felt very intense. without giving any thought to his actions, he cupped your face with one hand and brought you in for a kiss.

it was a very slow kiss, his thin lips slotted in gently against yours. you’d never contemplated what harry was like as a kisser but he exceeded all of the expectations. it was a nice feeling. warm. your pining hands reached for his pyjama shirt and tugged longingly at the fabric, not in a suggestive manner but as a means of saying that you had waited so long to feel harry surrender like this. it didn’t last for very long, he pulled away with a sigh and pressed his forehead to yours, glasses falling further down the slope of his nose. harry felt like a normal teenage boy and for a moment failed to remember that he was really a wizard and his life was really about to change for the worst now that dumbledore was gone and voldemort was back. you were still forehead-to-forehead, breathing florally against his mouth when he realised that soon he would have to confront his new reality.

for now, harry wanted to remain ignorant for a while longer.